#that is a genuine biohazard at this point lmao

[crazylittlejester]

Hi I saw in you pinned post that you like resident evil. My question is who in the chain do you think would play resident evil

IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR MONTHS AND YOU HAVE ENABLED ME TO YAP ABOUT THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH. THE ANSWER IS ALL OF THEM SORT OF:

- Time I think would dabble in it a bit, maybe he’s played some of the og games, definitely none of the remakes because he has no time to game anymore, but I think he’d listen to the others yap about it any nod along because he doesn’t know everything but he knows it’s important to them and has enough knowledge of the characters he understands what they’re saying

- Wars and Twi play together, not because they can’t handle it alone, but because they freak each other out more than the game and for them that’s fun. Like Wars will put his hand on the back of Twi’s neck when he’s creeping around in game and give him a heart attack, and Twilight will randomly scream and point at NOTHING to freak Wars out. Them playing re5 together was a disaster and there was a lot of screaming and there were fucking TEARS during the Wesker fight. Time came in thinking someone was dying but no, they were just playing re5 of all games. They did NOT make it through Biohazard without one of them having a legit breakdown (it was Wars). If you ask either of them what their favorite re game they’ll say re5 because they genuinely had so much fun playing it together, but Twilight will go crazy for re4r and Wars LOVES Village

- Sky wouldn’t touch the games with a ten foot pole, he watched those Village streams and got so stressed out watching streamers make bad decisions that he just can’t do it. He likes the lore though and knows enough about Village to hold a conversation. He’s seen all the movies and he likes Death Island a lot, his favorite character is Claire

- Legend is the kind of streamer that would send Sky into a coma because it’s not that he’s BAD at the games, he just will randomly Go For Things ignoring the fact that he’s making incredibly stupid decisions, and it’s a damn miracle he doesn’t die more in game because it comes SO close. His favorite game is Biohazard, and Wars actually hates him for it

- Hyrule gets forced to watch Wild or Legend play and leaves with tears in his eyes every time. He was one time handed the controller for the re4r el gigante fight and he did it in one shot somehow, but he did cry

- Wild will scream every time something grabs him and each time he does Hyrule loses one year off his life. Wild’s similar to Legend because he will just Go For Things but he doesn’t always narrowly escape like Legend does. His favorite is re2r, he’s a big Ada fan

- Four is the best re player out of all of them, he’s so serious about it too and his accuracy is INSANE. He played re5 on his own because he did the first section with Wild and Wild used up all his ammo and Four couldn’t handle such a huge waste of resources so he finished the game with the ai lmao. He did make Wild play re6 with him though because the re6 game play annoyed him So Much he almost had a stroke, and turning on friendly fire and kicking Wild was the only way he stayed sane through the game. He will short circuit if you ask him what his favorite re game is because he genuinely loves them all, but re1 is his comfort game so he’d probably say that. Four is on his hands and knees begging capcom for a Code Veronica remake

- Wind goes in screaming his head off and is not the best at playing but his enthusiasm makes up for it and he gets through the games eventually. He does better in the multiplayer games where he can follow someone around because he gets distracted and forgets where to go (he does NOT check the maps), but he got so stressed about the re4 waterway he had actual nightmares about it and woke up crying because it was absolutely impossible to beat for him, he spent hours on it. He ended up making Four do it for him. He does not fuck with Biohazard or Village, they stress him out too much, so he watched streams for those (he will NEVER let the others know this though)

[permanentclawgrip]

another great innovation from fuckwit mcgee: walk over to a mutual friend's apartment (who lives alone and in a decently sized place), and walk them back to our apartment...

why the fuck would you do that. genuinely. in what fucking world does that make sense. just stay at friend's place. its not that hard. you wont be inconveniencing the people YOU live with. at worst friend might piss off their neighbors for a bit but like,,, if yall are being that loud, it would piss off our neighbors too. its maybe a 5 minute walk between our two apartments and friend is a 6+ foot tall white dude whos kinda built so like,,, safety is not the fucking issue. why walk just to walk back? you arent going anywhere between that would be a meeting point. is it just to try to get us other roommates in on hanging out? just let us know if thats the case! also you know that i really fucking hate you right now! why would bringing someone over fix it! maybe if you apologize for fucking up everything so much it would start to patch things up! but no! thats too much to ask!

"but eve", you might be saying, "why dont you just forgive and forget?"

ive done that for everything else. literally everything else i forgive and forget. I apologized to THEM for wording things too rough when i confronted them about our dryer breaking. they didnt apologize for NOT TELLING US. forgive and forget. I clean up THEIR weeks old dishes that are a literal biohazard with half an inch of mold on them, they respond with "lmao". forgive and forget. no. I'm fucking done. when i ask them firmly but politely to actually do the fucking dishes i get just a "? okay" verbatim. i will forgive and forget when they learn to take care of themselves. i havent even mentioned the multiple plants that OTHER PEOPLE have gotten them that they straight up didn't water or put in sunlight. AND THEY WANT TO GET A CAT???? IVE THROWN AWAY 3 DIFFERENT EXTREMELY DEAD PLANTS THAT YOU SAID YOUD TAKE CARE OF AND YOU WANT TO GET A SENTIENT FUCKING ANIMAL ARE YOU INSANE? NOT TO GO ALL GRIFTING CANADIAN ON YOU BUT LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST JESUS FUCK.

okay this has gotten off topic in short still a horrible roommate

oh my god i just realized i can be petty and vaguepost on here and nobody but the porn bots will ever see it

[eldritch-spouse]

On one hand, Morell viscerally terrifies me to my very core in a way that words simply cannot describe. On the other hand, I would seek him out specifically and ask him to cut off my legs because the bitchass doctors won't do it even though I am in so much pain every day god please make it stop I am so close to doing it myself at this point. I'm already stuck in a wheelchair I am literally not losing anything. (Plus even if I found a doctor willing to do it because I can't fucking use my legs and they are only causing me pain, they'd just get thrown in the biohazard bin and that seems like a bit of a waste tbh)

[I'm genuinely sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds unfair and I hope you're able to make it better sometime. Hopefully not by giving body parts to cannibals irl lmao.]

I love grossing the fuck out of people with Morell. He's special for me because I can dump some very specific fixations on him only.

If you were one of his catches, he'd probably relieve you of your legs before even bringing you to The Clergy. It's like you said, they're not doing anything for you, but they'd sure do a lot for him and his clients. Heck, since you're being so cooperative about it, Morell will be extra gentle (which isn't saying much, honestly) and kiss it all better when it's over.

I feel that, in this particular case, there is time for you to bond with him. Which you likely won't want to, because he rightfully scares the shit out of you- But it's the only thing you can bet on to stay alive just a little bit longer. And, let's face it, Morell is sick enough to romanticize the fact that you willingly gave him your legs. Even if you did it out of convenience or purely to buy yourself some time, Morell remembers those moments fondly and heatedly.

You'll naturally have to rely on him a lot more, since you won't have anything like a wheelchair at your disposal once in his grasp, and Morell enjoys that a whole lot. Because you won't really bite the hand that feeds you now, will you piglet?

Come on, you gave him your legs, surely you can give Morell your heart too.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME