#that im picking up photoshop & doing creative projects & learning how to make mercv
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#sometimes i ... wonder where or who i'd be without skz.... like#i cant trll if its in a good way or bad way that im thinking about this#my thoughts are a mess rn but im just. being at home amidst all this going on is taking its toll on me....#and the whole blm movement is bringing out some ugly generational divides between kids and their parents esp among asian americans#and i honestly kind of resent this upbringing i had... and i feel like im not in a position to complain bc we're middle class#and in a safe neighborhood with good schools and i dont have to worry about rent or tuition#so while i feel ungrateful for feeling this way the hidden toxicity of this environment is slowly killing me#today i had a really bad argument with my parents about this and the things they say and believe are honestly so ignorant and 😐#my dad stands with his generalization of black people based off (i shit u not this is real) his observations at HOME DEPOT#my brother & i are both stats related majors so obviously we were enraged by this?? it was obviously biased statistics#and to think earlier at dinner he condemned both of us for not showing enough passion for stats bc we dont play with numbers all day long#and i just got really angry because this isnt even something i truly want to do 😐#i think this shows a lot that the one conversation i remember most vividly with my parents was when i was 12#and they spent a whole night discouraging me from pursuing art because i wasnt outstanding enough and i wont make money in the future#(and i just read a thread on twitter about kids being told by their parents 'you wont be able to cause change so dont bother' about blm#so i just got reminded of that convo again and the fact that my dad has NO right to expect me to be a stats nerd#bc hes the one that said i cant pursue what i actually want to do??#back to skz.. it was because of skz that i drew for the first time in 2+ years... it was bc of skz that i got inspo to launch a shop...#that im picking up photoshop & doing creative projects & learning how to make mercv#especially bc theres nothing else to do during quarantine than to create#i remember telling a friend on ig that i picked up art again bc of skz (not with this context though) & she just said well thank god for skz#yeah... i feel guilty for relying on a kpop group like this but thank god for skz...#shut up aurora
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