#that i like them and it's judge's fault like everything

[fanficsbysteve]

The Key to my Heart

Note: Well, here’s an idea that I had, and it took me all of 3 hours to write. I wasn’t the hugest fan of the way things ended for Buck and Tommy so what you will read now is how I imagine it should have gone if the writers weren’t going for maximum shock value.

Also available on AO3 if you want to leave me some kudos there.

W/C: 1574

Rating: PG for some implied sexy times near the end.

***

Tommy sat and stared at the pictures of Evan and Abbie on his phone. Pics of them together, pictures of them kissing, everything. Tommy wouldn’t be shocked if there were some not so safe for work pictures on this phone of Abbie and Evan. Tommy’s mind was going a mile a minute, trying not to think too far into it. He had left Abbie by this point; he didn’t know Evan at this point either. He couldn’t fault them for being together. He couldn’t dictate who each of them slept with or had a relationship with just like he didn’t think anyone had any right to telling him and Evan about their relationship.

Evan was talking to Tommy, something about admiration. Tommy felt his heart dropping. Did Evan actually see him? Did Evan actually know anything about him? This was the man who spent a day and a night researching a cowboy dead 100 years, but didn’t know the Kinsey Scale, and had forgotten that he was 100% gay. Tommy tried to tune into what Evan was talking about, “So I thought, why be apart when we can be together,” Tommy felt his heart sinking further at this. Evan was jumping ahead. Tommy didn’t know how to handle this. He had been in this place before, he had been the person jumping ahead before and it never ended well, “So I wanted to give you this.”

Tommy was confused. This was not what he thought was going to happen. Evan was reaching into his pocket and came out with a key, “What’s this?” Tommy’s voice was breaking due to all the emotions he had been building up, but he cleared his throat to hopefully get it back to normal.

“Well, I originally thought to myself ‘Wouldn’t it be great if me and Tommy just lived together. We already spend so much time together and it would make being with each other so much easier’ and as much as I would have loved that idea,” Evan explained, “After 6 months of dating, it would have been going a little fast, and I’ve had so many bad things happen from going so fast. So, I thought of the next best thing. A key to this loft,” Evan gestured around to the loft around them, “That way you can come whenever you want, and you don’t have to wait for me to be home, or have to wait outside for me to let you in.”

Tommy was taken aback when the key was slid towards him. A key, that’s what this was? A key to the loft, “Thank you,” Tommy said, “I don’t have a key for you though.”

“You don’t need to give me a key to your place,” Evan replied, “I just wanted to give you a sign that you mean a lot to me. That you are someone I can see a future with eventually. Josh gave me this long speech at 911 HQ about Glee that made no sense to me cause I’ve never seen Glee, but it made me realize some things and myself, and about you, and about us.”

Tommy just sat there, staring at Evan. Staring at this idiot of a man who somehow can say the right things at the right times, but also somehow not, “I think we need to talk a bit more about ourselves before we consider the next steps,” Tommy said, “Learn more about each other before you decide that I’m your forever guy. There are so many things about me that you don’t know. That few people know.”

“I want to know about you, Tommy,” Evan said, “And I don’t want you to feel pressure to tell me everything, but I just want you to know that I won’t judge. You aren’t judging me for being with your ex-fiancé.”

“That’s to be determined,” Tommy chuckled, “Well as a start, I guess, I want you to know that I only came out as gay five years ago. I broke things off with Abbie, transferred from the 118, you can ask Hen and Howie about what I was like back then, and started a new phase of my life at Harbor Station. But I didn’t come out officially to anyone around me until two years after my transfer. I’ve got a lot of traumas related to being gay and I don’t exactly handle them in a productive manner.”

“I’m sorry that you had to handle things like this alone. You shouldn’t have had to be like that. You know the 118 as it is now would have supported you in everything right?” Evan looked at Tommy, his eyes showing he truly believed the words he was saying.

“I was at the 118 under Gerrard,” Tommy explained, “You only had to experience a fraction of what it was like. I’m at peace with where I am now. I just want you to understand where I’m coming from.”

“Doesn’t mean that I can’t still empathize,” Evan replied, “And in the spirit of sharing trauma from our past,” Evan said, “I was only born to be spare parts for an older brother who was dying from Leukemia. I only learned about this about 3-4 years ago.”

Tommy’s mouth dropped open at this admission. How was Evan so well adjusted knowing that, “I’m so sorry that you believe that. I’m sure you weren’t just spare parts.”

“Oh, I was, my parents told me as much,” Evan laughed, “Defective parts no less. The son my parents wanted died a year after I was born because my bone marrow couldn’t save him. I came to terms with all this years ago. After a huge yelling match with my parents,” Evan shrugged.

Tommy walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. The longest hug they had ever had. Tommy felt tears in his eyes as he held Evan. His Evan. Tommy pulled out of the hug and looked Evan right in the eyes, he had to say this now or he never would, “I have something to tell you,” Tommy said, “And I don’t need a response from you either, but I just want you to know this,” Tommy took a deep breath before he continued, “I think I might be falling in love with you.”

Now it was Evan’s turn to have his mouth drop open. Tommy felt a sense of peace from saying that, but he also felt a sense of dread. What if this admission to Evan made him realize that he didn’t truly see a future with him. What if this is what ended things? Tommy’s heart couldn’t handle that. But he had to let that out. A thousand more What If’s flooded his brain as he stood there looking at Evan, trying to get a read on his face, “I don’t know what to say to that,” Evan said flabbergasted.

“I don’t need a response,” Tommy interjected quickly, “Let’s just pretend that I didn’t say anything and go have our movie night,” Tommy looked at the clock, “Though I think we might be too late for that.”

“No, I do want to respond to what you said,” Evan replied. Evan also took a deep breath, “I don’t know what I feel about you. I don’t know if its lust, love, or something else that hasn’t been defined. What I do know is that I do feel something for you. Something that makes me feel like you are meant to be the one. The one that I spend the rest of my life with. The one that I have been looking for all these years. I might not be able to put it into simple words, but I just wanted you to know how I feel. Maybe it is love. I mean I’ve been in love before, but it feels different from that. More complete. Maybe what I felt before with someone wasn’t love. Or maybe because its with you, someone who makes me feel comfortable and at peace with myself, maybe it feels different because its with you. I don’t want to put a label on it but that’s how I feel.”

Tommy smiled at Evan. He did realize that he was falling in love with this man, and this just cemented it. He noticed how he felt as far back as that funeral for Billy Boils. How passionate Evan was about this long dead cowboy. His words that day stuck with Tommy, and he wanted to be Evan’s people. The ones that make life worth living, “That’s a great answer,” Tommy choked. He pulled Evan into another hug, and this time let the tears slide down his cheeks, “That was the perfect answer.”

Evan smiled and kissed Tommy, not a chaste kiss that they had been sharing lately, not a heat of the moment passion kiss that they shared at the hospital before the wedding. This was something different. Different emotions were brought into this kiss. Tommy enjoyed it, “So we definitely won’t make our movie now,” Tommy said into Evan’s mouth, “Did you have a back-up plan?”

“Well, we are here,” Evan said, “And you did make an implication when you arrived,” Evan started to wiggle his eyebrows in a suggestive way, “Might not be as quick though.”

Tommy smiled at the thought and let Evan pull him towards the stairs to his loft bedroom. This was a much better ending to this day.

***

                Note: I hate how BuckTommy ended just as much as the next person, so I decided to rewrite how I wanted them to go that night. So, this is what you get. In my brain now this is what happened, and the rest of the season so far is scraped. I also wanted to get you guys something as it has been a week since I last posted and I was starting to feel bad.

[beanghostprincess]

that scene of the vinsmoke siblings saying goodbye to sanji and helping him one by one to get away from different threats has my heart and my soul and my everything and i will cherish it forever thank you very much

[pilonciillo]

lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

[kidfoundonstreets]

mom may possibly take technology away again so watch out for that.

[lyknest]

.

[bright-haired-teacher]

a note i will probably never send to my administrators:

at the end of the day, my issues here are that you don’t trust me. i know my students. i know what’s best for them. am i perfect? of course not. but do i know what i’m doing? yeah. but being told i can no longer teach the way i want to teach, “follow this script and these lessons” (and make your kids hate reading more than they already do) - yeah, no. i’ll do what you told me to, and when they fail the tests i can throw it back at you saying, “i just did what you told me to do.” you couldn’t trust me. and you better not fucking blame me when i followed your plan. 

and you know what? maybe they wouldn’t pass my way either. in fact, they probably wouldn’t. most of them are not reading higher than a 5th grade level, and 5th grade is pretty fucking generous tbh. but you lacking faith in me and telling me i don’t know what’s best and overriding my autonomy in my classroom? we can’t come back from that. i will never trust you again. 

you can support me against crazy parents all day long. you can let me continue to have pride club and support us even in the face of this shitty government in this shitty state. you can let me be myself and not have to hide behind some “ideal” of what a teacher is. those are all fine. but those are not the core issue.

the core issue is that you don’t trust me. you don’t trust any of us. and nothing, nothing you can do will make me trust you ever again. 

[featherymainffins]

People be wilding, I hate when I ask for some dirty tricks to swindle my brain because therapeutic methods are slow and I would kinda like to do things even before they work, and people just recommend me what is essentially CBT coupled with exposure therapy.

[wickershells]

feel like I'm disintegrating

[trippygalaxy]

Mm

[inthelittlegenny]

tavern talk is great; just completed it. 10/10 would recommend if you want something super chill (i'm going to ramble in the tags so probably spoilers)

[lizziesangel]

RAFE CAMERON ⟢ just one date

x sweet!pogue!FEM!reader ⟢ MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: based on this request

WORD COUNT: 5212

GENRE: fluff (teeny tiny angst)

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of cheating (not rafe), rafe calling reader 'sweet girl'

you found yourself sitting on your bed, staring blankly at the wall, tears still stubbornly slipping down your cheeks. “you really think i would stay with a pogue like you?” his words had stung like venom, and they echoed in your mind, over and over again.

you had tried so hard to ignore the doubts, to convince yourself that it was all worth it—that he was worth it. but now? now, everything was shattered, and you couldn’t hold the pieces together anymore.

you sheepishly nodded your head, trying to regain just a fraction of the dignity he had so easily stripped from you. you felt small, embarrassed, humiliated—and you hadn’t even been the one in the wrong.

he was.

he chose her. above you.

and you regretted every argument, every moment you’d defended him to your friends. you’d backed him up, made excuses for him, convinced yourself that he was different. but now? now it felt like nothing more than a cruel joke.

“you might be sweet, but you’re not one of the smartest girls, cupcake.” the smirk on his face made your stomach twist. you wished you could slap it off his face, wipe that smugness away, but you couldn’t move.

then a voice—his voice—cut through your spiraling thoughts.

“earth to y/n,” a hand waved in front of your face, pulling you out of your haze.

you looked up, startled, and there he was—rafe cameron.

his brow was furrowed, eyes searching your face as if trying to read you. it wasn’t a normal “rafe” look—this was something else. something softer.

“hey, sweet girl,” he said, his voice gentler than you expected. “you alright?”

you blinked, struggling to pull yourself together. rafe had always been your childhood best friend, the one who never judged you, the one who saw the real you. but right now, he was staring at you with an intensity that felt...different.

you wiped your eyes hastily, but it only made your tears come harder.

“i don’t... i don’t know what i did wrong,” you muttered, your voice shaky. “i gave him everything, rafe. everything.”

rafe didn’t say anything at first. instead, he just sat down next to you on the bed, his presence solid and warm, grounding you.

“you didn’t do anything wrong, sweet girl,” he said, his words almost like a soft promise. “he’s the one who messed up. not you.”

you wanted to believe him. you wanted to believe that it wasn’t your fault.

“but why? why pick her? why pick... her over me?” your voice cracked as you spoke.

rafe’s expression shifted, his eyes hardening as he shook his head. “because he’s a complete idiot. that’s why. a selfish, dumb idiot who doesn’t deserve you. not like i do.”

your heart skipped in your chest at his words. he said them so confidently, so matter-of-fact, and for a brief moment, you almost believed him.

“you deserve someone who knows what he has,” rafe continued. “someone who’s not gonna choose a girl who probably doesn’t even care about him like you do.”

you met his eyes, feeling the weight of his gaze like a soft anchor in a sea of confusion. “thanks, rafe,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

rafe chuckled, his usual cocky grin creeping onto his face. “well, you should’ve dated me, sweet girl.”

you let out a shaky laugh, the first laugh you’d managed all night. it wasn’t much, but it was something. “yeah, maybe you’re right,” you said, trying to muster a bit of humor.

rafe’s smile widened, and for a second, you could see something soft in his eyes. it was like you’d just melted the icy wall he’d kept up for so long.

“i mean, come on,” he teased, nudging you lightly with his shoulder. “i’m a hell of a catch. why settle for that loser when you could’ve had this?”

you laughed again, this time a little louder, and something inside rafe shifted. he didn’t look like the arrogant, self-assured guy you’d grown up with—no, now he looked like someone who’d just let down his guard for you.

he looked at you like you had just made his world a little brighter, and in that moment, you realized just how much he meant to you—not just as a friend, but as someone who cared about you in a way that was rare.

“you’re such a dork,” you said with a weak smile, wiping away another stray tear.

rafe just grinned, his eyes softening even more. “yeah, but i’m your dork, sweet girl.”

and for the first time that night, you actually believed it. you believed that maybe, just maybe, there was someone who truly saw you.

“i’ll always have your back, y/n,” rafe said quietly, his voice full of sincerity. “you never have to go through this alone.”

the sun was just starting to dip below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the ocean. the waves were perfect—big but not too wild—and you had been out there for hours, trying (and mostly failing) to catch one.

rafe was beside you, effortlessly riding the waves like he was born on a surfboard, while you struggled to stay upright. it was the kind of day where everything felt right, the kind of day that made you forget about everything else—the drama, the stress, everything that had been weighing on you lately.

“okay, sweet girl, focus.”

rafe’s voice was low and teasing as he paddled over to you, his board gliding smoothly through the water. his eyes were full of that signature confidence of his, the one that made you feel like you could do anything... even though, in this case, surfing was still a work in progress for you.

“i’m trying!” you laughed, trying to wipe the saltwater out of your eyes. “it’s harder than it looks.”

rafe grinned, his smile turning mischievous. “yeah, i know. but you’re doing great. now, when the wave comes—don’t freak out. just keep your balance and trust me, you’ll ride it.”

you nodded, your stomach fluttering a little, both from the excitement and... well, the fact that rafe was staring at you with that intense, knowing look.

as the next wave came in, rafe paddled ahead, giving you a quick wink. “here comes a good one, sweet girl. you ready?”

you took a deep breath, focused, and started paddling, but before you knew it, you lost your balance and fell into the water with a splash.

“ow,” you muttered, coming up for air and wiping the water from your face.

rafe was already there, laughing a little as he helped you back onto your board. “you good?”

you glared at him playfully. “yeah, just embarrassed, that’s all.”

rafe grinned, his eyes sparkling. “don’t worry about it. everyone falls. even me, once in a while.”

“yeah, right,” you rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “you’re practically a professional.”

he laughed, paddling closer to you. “maybe. but you know, i’m a professional at more than just surfing.”

you raised an eyebrow, suddenly curious. “oh? and what else are you a professional at, rafe?”

he leaned back, resting on his board, looking completely relaxed. “well, i’m pretty good at knowing what i want, sweet girl.”

you felt a flutter in your chest at the way he said it, but you tried to play it cool. “oh yeah? and what do you want, exactly?”

rafe smirked, his gaze locking with yours. “you. you should date me.”

your heart skipped. “what?” you blinked, sure you hadn’t heard him right.

“you should date me,” he repeated, his voice smooth and confident, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

you couldn’t help but laugh nervously, shaking your head. “nooo, we shouldn’t, rafe.”

rafe’s expression didn’t change; in fact, it only grew more intense. “why not, sweet girl?” he asked, his voice soft but insistent.

you tried to keep things light, but your heart was beating too fast, and you felt your face flush. “because… well, we’re friends, rafe. we’ve been friends for so long. dating would just ruin everything.”

rafe chuckled, paddling closer to you, his face serious now. “is that really why? or is it because you’re scared of what could happen?”

you shifted uncomfortably, feeling that familiar heat creep up your neck. “i’m not scared.”

“you sure about that, sweet girl?” he asked, leaning in just a little closer, his voice quiet and teasing. “because i think you’re scared of how good we could be together.”

your breath caught, and for a moment, you couldn’t find the right words. you and rafe had always been close, but this... this felt different. “rafe, we’re best friends.”

“and that’s exactly why it would work,” he said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “we get each other. i know you better than anyone. and you know me, even with all my flaws.”

you looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time, it wasn’t just rafe—the guy you’d known your whole life. it was rafe, the guy who was slowly breaking down all your walls with just a few words.

“you’re really serious about this, huh?” you whispered.

rafe nodded, his gaze steady. “yeah. i’m serious, sweet girl. you should date me.”

the sun was setting over the beach, casting a golden hue across the group of friends hanging out at the shore. kie, jj, pope, and you were sprawled out on the sand, chatting and laughing, as the sound of the waves crashing in the background filled the air. it was one of those perfect summer evenings, where everything felt easy, and you didn’t want it to end.

you’d been spending a lot of time with rafe lately. you knew the others noticed, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought. it wasn’t anything serious—at least, you didn’t think it was. but lately, it felt like there was something unspoken between you two, something that made your heart race every time you saw him.

as you glanced over toward the shore, you spotted him—rafe, just a few feet away, laughing with some friends. you smiled to yourself, trying not to get caught staring, but jj was quick to notice.

“hey, isn't that your boyfriend over there?” jj teased, pointing in rafe’s direction with a smirk.

you immediately felt your cheeks heat up. “oh, stop,” you said, shaking your head with a soft laugh, your voice sweet and warm, trying to brush it off. “it’s not like that, jj.”

kie raised an eyebrow, glancing over at you with a grin. “well, he’s not wrong though, right? you two are always together these days.”

“stop,” you said, but this time, you giggled, your voice light and gentle, trying to ignore the growing warmth in your face. “he can hear you.”

as if on cue, you heard rafe’s familiar voice drifting over from the edge of the group. “nah, they’re right, sweet girl,” he called with a grin, walking over casually and brushing the sand off his hands. “i could totally be your boyfriend.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how smoothly he said it, your heart doing that little flip in your chest. “not really, rafe,” you teased, your smile growing even bigger.

he nudged you playfully with his elbow, and you couldn’t help but giggle again. “we’ll see about that,” he said, still grinning, clearly enjoying the moment.

your face lit up with the cutest, most genuine smile as you looked at him. “thanks for the offer.”

rafe smirked, leaning down to sit beside you, his eyes never leaving yours. he was completely comfortable in his own skin, as always, but there was something in his gaze that made you feel like you were the only person in the world at that moment.

“you’re welcome, sweet girl,” he said, his tone light but with an underlying sincerity that made your heart skip.

jj and kie changed amused looks, both of them clearly enjoying the dynamic between you two. pope just shook his head, grinning, clearly pleased to see you happy.

“okay, okay,” jj said with a chuckle. “you two are cute, but we’ll let you figure out the whole ‘dating’ thing later.”

you couldn’t help but laugh again, feeling a mix of lightness and warmth, knowing that your friends were teasing, but also really just looking out for you. you glanced at rafe, who was watching you with that mischievous glint in his eyes, and felt a little flutter in your chest. Whatever was going on between you two, it was something new and exciting—and maybe, just maybe, there was a part of you that was starting to wonder what it would be like to see where it could go.

the sun filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow over sarah’s room as you, john b and sarah lounged around on the bed, the three of you chatting casually, a comfortable silence falling over the group as you just hung out.

sarah was flipping through a magazine, but her eyes kept darting to you, a sly smile tugging at her lips. you couldn’t ignore the way she kept glancing between you and john b, clearly waiting for the right moment to drop a bomb.

finally, she couldn't hold it in anymore. “you know, rafe talks about you a lot.” her voice was light, teasing, but there was a knowing glint in her eyes.

your heart skipped in your chest. rafe had been on your mind lately—way too much, actually—but you tried to keep things light. The last thing you wanted was for your friends to think anything serious was going on. you blushed, looking down at your hands as if they could somehow distract you from the heat creeping up your neck.

“what? no way, sarah,” you said, a little too quickly, trying to cover up the surprise in your voice. “rafe doesn’t talk about me. we’re just... friends. nothing more.”

sarah raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “uh-huh. you’re telling me the guy who spends literally all his time with you doesn’t talk about you?” she leaned back, crossing her arms with that playful look she always got when she was onto something. “come on, y/n, i’m not stupid. he’s always bringing you up.”

you swallowed, feeling yourself blush even harder. you tugged on your sleeve nervously, trying to hide the growing embarrassment. “really, it’s nothing, sarah. he’s just... he’s not made for me, okay?” you said softly, trying to downplay it. “he’s... complicated, and i’m just not ready for that kind of drama. we’re just... friends.” you said it again, as if repeating the words would make you believe it.

john b, who had been lazily lying on his back, suddenly propped himself up on his elbows, his curious eyes studying you. “you never know, y/n,” he said, his voice calm but with a hint of something more—hope, maybe? “maybe you two could be something. it’s not always the way it seems.”

you shook your head, the uncertainty clouding your thoughts. “no, john b, i do know.” yout voice softened, but the resolve in it was clear. “the same thing is gonna happen as always. he’ll get bored, or it’ll turn into a mess, and i’ll be the one who’s hurt. i can already see it.” you looked down at your hands again, your fingers twisting the hem of your sleeve in a nervous habit you hadn’t realized you were doing.

sarah’s teasing smile faded a little, and she sat up, looking at you with an understanding that made your chest tighten. “you don’t know that for sure, though, y/n.”

but you shook your head, smiling faintly, trying to push the feelings back down where they belonged. “i do know. i can’t do it. i’m not ready to deal with someone like him. he’s got too many layers, too many... things that make him complicated. i’m not built for that. not anymore.”

john b frowned, clearly not convinced, but he didn’t push further. Instead, he sat up and gave you a sympathetic look. “alright, y/n, if you say so. but you’re a lot stronger than you think. and you deserve someone who can handle you—all of you.”

sarah nodded in agreement, her eyes softening. “and if it’s rafe, then maybe it’s meant to be. you’ll figure it out, y/n.”

you smiled, but it wasn’t as easy this time. you had spent so long convincing yourself that nothing could happen between you and rafe—that it was safer this way—that it was hard to picture anything else. you didn’t want to set yourself up for disappointment. but deep down, a part of you wondered if sarah and john be were right. what if it could work?

you made your way downstairs, the house still and quiet except for the soft hum of the refrigerator. the cameron’s fridge always had your favorite apple juice stocked, and today was no different. you smiled to yourself, pouring a glass and feeling at home in the familiarity of tannyhill.

as you reached for the carton, you spotted rafe standing at the kitchen counter, his back turned to you. his posture was slouched, and he looked deep in thought, an air of melancholy surrounding him that you hadn’t seen before. normally, rafe had an easy, almost cocky confidence, but today, there was something off about him.

you couldn’t help the warm smile that tugged at your lips as you walked over to him. you hadn’t seen him in a few hours, and as much as you liked the space, you still found yourself gravitating toward him, like you always did.

“hey, you,” you said gently, your voice soft as you poured yourself a glass of juice. you couldn’t help but notice the frown on his face as he slowly turned to face you.

rafe didn’t immediately respond, his eyes tired and distant. normally, he’d have something snarky to say, but tonight, he just seemed... sad.

“what’s wrong?” you set your glass down and stepped closer, placing your hand on his arm instinctively, your thumb brushing over the fabric of his shirt in a small, comforting gesture. it was second nature to you, wanting to make him feel better, wanting to lift his mood.

he blinked, as if your touch brought him out of his thoughts, but his expression didn’t change. “i don’t have many layers,” he said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself.

you frowned in confusion, unsure what he meant. “what do you mean?” you asked softly, looking up at him with wide, concerned eyes.

“i heard you talking to sarah and john b earlier,” he replied, his voice low, almost strained. “about me... us.”

your heart skipped a beat, and you suddenly felt exposed, like you’d been caught in the middle of something you weren’t ready to confront. “oh,” you whispered, guilt pooling in your stomach. you hadn’t meant for him to overhear that conversation, and hearing that he had made you feel like you’d done something wrong.

“i don’t want you to think i’m complicated,” rafe continued, his voice catching slightly. “i’m not made of layers like you think. i’m just me, y/n. i don’t want you to worry about me or... what could happen.” he looked down, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck, something in his posture sagging like the weight of the words were too much to carry.

you looked up at him, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice. “rafe, i don’t— i don’t want to hurt you,” you said quickly, your voice as sweet and soft as you could manage. “it’s just... i don’t want things to get complicated. i care about you too much, and i don’t know if i can handle—”

you stopped yourself, realizing how much you were saying, how much you were feeling. you could tell by the look on his face that your words weren’t reaching him the way you wanted them to. He wasn’t looking at you with that familiar mischievous grin, but with an expression that made you feel like he was slipping away.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling the weight of the guilt settle over you.

rafe didn’t speak for a long moment. he just stood there, looking at you as if he was trying to read your every word, your every emotion. finally, he sighed, stepping back a little. “i get it,” he said quietly, his voice quieter than you were used to hearing. “i’m just not who you need me to be, huh?” he said it like a statement, not a question, and the hurt in his tone made you feel like you’d said the wrong thing.

you opened your mouth to say more, to explain yourself better, but the words felt stuck in your throat. before you could speak, rafe turned and walked out of the kitchen, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.

you stood there, your hand still lingering where it had rested on his arm, the warm glass of apple juice forgotten on the counter. you felt a pang of guilt, the kind that settled deep in your chest. you hadn’t meant to hurt him. you just didn’t know how to explain that you were afraid, that you were trying to protect both of you from something that might tear you apart.

you wanted to chase after him, tell him it wasn’t about him, tell him you didn’t mean what you said in the way he took it. but you knew he needed space, and in that moment, all you could do was stand there, the quiet weight of your unspoken feelings filling the space between you.

you couldn’t help but feel like you’d messed up. again.

it had been three long days since you and rafe last spoke. the silence between you was louder than any argument could have been, and it had only made things worse. you hadn’t meant to hurt him, but you couldn’t shake the guilt. you spent the last few days trying to keep yourself busy, distracting yourself with whatever you could, but it hadn’t worked. all you could think about was him—his quiet voice, his distant eyes when he walked away.

you hadn’t heard from him since that night, and it ate at you. every time you passed by tannyhill or saw him with his friends, your stomach twisted in knots, a mix of frustration and regret.

now, you found yourself sitting on the porch with jj and kie, trying to pretend like everything was normal, but it was impossible. you couldn’t focus on the conversation; your mind kept drifting back to rafe.

“rafe’s right there,” jj suddenly said, nudging you with his elbow. you followed his gaze, and sure enough, there he was, leaning against the fence, talking to some of his friends.

you immediately looked away, crossing your arms over your chest, trying to pretend you hadn’t seen him. “i’m not talking to him,” you muttered, your voice sharp and defensive.

jj raised an eyebrow. “why not?” he sounded genuinely curious, but there was an edge of frustration in his tone. “he’s literally standing right there, y/n. you’re gonna keep ignoring him like this?”

you shook your head, your expression hardening as your frustration bubbled up. “he probably hates me by now, jj. why would i talk to him?”

jj scoffed, clearly not buying it. he leaned in a little, his usual carefree energy replaced by something more serious. “hate you? no way. he could never hate you, angel. that guy’s a mess, but there’s no way he hates you. he just... he just needs you to talk to him.”

you rolled your eyes, trying to hide how much his words affected you. “it’s not that simple, jj. you don’t get it. he overheard what i said. he heard how i basically told them i didn’t want anything more with him, and now he’s just... gone. he’s done with me.”

jj shook his head, his usual grin fading into a more sincere expression. “you know that’s not true, right? he’s just as stubborn as you are. he won’t come to you because he’s waiting for you to make the first move. he’s been hurt before, y/n, but he’s not gonna give up on you. not like that.”

you stared at him, your throat tightening. “but what if i messed it up too much? what if he doesn’t want to fix it?”

jj’s voice softened, and for a moment, you saw the seriousness in his eyes. “he’ll never give up on you, y/n. i promise. you two just need to talk. you’re both too stubborn for your own good, but you’re also the only ones who can fix it.”

you let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your hair. “i don’t even know what to say to him anymore, jj. i don’t know how to fix this.”

jj gave you a knowing look, his expression softening. “just tell him the truth, y/n. he’s your friend. he cares about you. and you care about him, even if you’re scared of it.” he grinned a little, trying to lighten the mood. “go on, make him listen to you. he’s a big ol’ puppy when it comes to you.”

you didn’t know what it was—whether it was the way JJ had said it or the gentle push from him—but something in you finally snapped. You weren’t sure how things would go, but maybe it was time to stop running away from it all.

With a deep breath, you stood up, brushing the dirt off your jeans. “fine,” you muttered, glancing over at jj. “but if he shuts me down, i’m blaming you.”

jj chuckled and gave you a playful shove as you walked past him. “good luck, angel. he won’t shut you down.”

as you made your way toward rafe, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. this wasn’t going to be easy. you weren’t sure what you were going to say, but you couldn’t keep pretending like everything was fine. not anymore.

rafe didn’t notice you approaching at first, but when he finally looked up, his expression softened. there was still a hint of distance in his eyes, but something in his posture relaxed as he saw you walking toward him.

you stopped in front of him, taking a deep breath. “rafe,” you started, your voice quiet but steady. “i need to talk to you.”

rafe didn’t speak for a moment, just looking at you like he was trying to figure out what to say. you wanted him to say something, anything, but he just stood there.

“y/n,” he said simply. no nickname, no playful jab. just your name, the way no one ever called you. your breath caught in your throat, and for a second, you froze. rafe never called you by your full name. it was always sweet girl or cupcake, something casual, something easy. but now, he was looking at you with that same intensity, only now it felt different. more serious.

it hit you then—he had been listening, really listening, to everything you had said. and you felt it deep in your chest.

“rafe, i... i’m sorry for what i said.”

“i’m just... scared,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. you bit your lip, trying to find the right words. “after my last relationship, i... i don’t know how to do this. how to let someone in, i mean. i was hurt so badly, and i don’t want that to happen again. but i also don’t want to lose you.”

the air between you two felt heavy, charged with everything left unsaid. rafe didn’t say anything at first, just let the silence linger as he took in your words. his eyes softened, and you saw the hurt in them, the frustration from everything that had been left unresolved.

“you never gave me a chance, y/n,” rafe said quietly, his voice full of a tenderness you didn’t expect from him. still, the way he said your name almost made you cry.

“i’ve been here the whole time. i didn’t want to make things harder, but i wanted you to see that i care. that i’ve always cared.”

your heart thudded in your chest, and you felt the weight of his words settle deep within you. you sighed, looking down at the ground for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “i don’t want things to go back to normal, rafe. i don’t think it can,” you said, your voice tinged with sadness. “i don’t think i can just go back to being... whatever we were before.”

rafe stepped a little closer, closing the space between you two. there was a fire in his eyes now, a resolve that made you pause, holding your breath. “it doesn’t have to be normal anymore, y/n,” he said softly, but firmly. “we don’t have to go back to what it was. i just want one date. just one. to see where it goes. no expectations, no pressures. just us.”

you stared at him, your heart in your throat. it was so simple, so direct, and yet it felt like everything you’d been afraid of. but maybe it wasn’t so scary after all. you couldn’t deny the connection between you two, even if it scared you more than anything.

finally, you nodded, the tightness in your chest easing just a little. “okay. one date,” you agreed, your voice small but steady. “we’ll see how it goes.”

rafe’s lips curled into a small, genuine smile, and you could see the weight lifting off his shoulders. it was like a relief washed over him, and the tension that had been there for so long finally began to fade.

he reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle but lingering. “i promise i’m not going anywhere, sweet girl,” he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. “we’ll figure this out.”

you smiled back at him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. you had no idea where this would go, but for the first time in a while, you felt like it might just be worth the risk.

you felt the weight of the past few days lift off your shoulders as rafe gave you a reassuring look, and you knew—whatever happened next, you’d face it together.

and just like that, what started as tension and uncertainty turned into something simple and real. one date. a chance for something new.

and maybe, just maybe, it could work out this time.

[beanghostprincess]

me, watching germa fight: CAREFUL YONJI DON'T DIE!!!!

my friend: 10 episodes ago you were literally saying you wanted him dead

me: people change

[bettsfic]

one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.

i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."

at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.

it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.

i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.

a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"

knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?

it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"

you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."

[arolesbianism]

Rotates swap au Wickerbottom in my head. Gotta love old women trapped in self imposed cycles of pain and regret

[frmisnow]

play pretend ! ₊⟡⋆ nsfw.

the premise of fake dating your best friend, for just a weekend, is hilarous.. and scary. but what happens after is even scarier.. it's just play pretend right?

warnings / includes — sex, heavy fwb themes, bit of angst

shame coated you when you woke up in one of the guest rooms, carefully placed onto the bed at about 3am by no other then jungkook while you were dead hungover. pure rotten shame rests in your cheeks, paints them red when you say bye to his family a few hours later as jungkook couldn't quite even look at you.

everything about him was different. the way he moved around you, the way he avoided looking directly at you. hell, even his voice sounded quieter, less confident, like he didn’t know what to do either.

something had changed him, for the worse.

and it was all your damn fault.

you had thought the car ride would give you both time to defrost, pretend that whatever happened the night earlier did in fact not happen, crack some jokes but to no avail — long, defening silence.

silence and shame don't go well together, the color they create on the canvas of yours, it soaked through you. stayed with you for the next five days, it's the color of the message you send him at 11 pm on saturday, asking him how he was doing.

it's the ugly color of the 'delivered' button that stays there for the following two days.

the dress you wear to the next party is bright, anything to drown out the guilt that was eating you alive.

the music is loud, and so are you. laughing a little too hard, moving a little too close to anyone who shows you attention. you take another sip of whatever is in your cup, the liquid burning its way down your throat but dulling the ache in your chest.

and then there’s him.

you don’t see Jungkook immediately, but you feel him before your eyes catch his across the room. you feel the way the air shifts, the way your stomach churns when you notice the familiar set of his jaw, the way his eyes flicker toward you.

you almost drop your drink.

because it feels like a candid flashback of that night—only now it’s all so different. why did things have to be so complicated?

you’re pressed against some guy you barely know, his lips grazing your neck in a way that should distract you. you’ve been letting it happen, letting him flirt, letting his hands wander because it’s easier than thinking about the mess you left unresolved.

but then there’s jungkook. he stands on the other side, the neon light painting his face; his look wasn't judging. maybe light disappointment but more observing then anything, really. and it reminded you of how you used to stare at him whenever he was going after various girls at these exact sorts of parties.

it makes you sick, makes the unfamilar hands on your body feel foul and uninviting, it's not the fire burning through you like it had that night, it's cold ice, slowly creeping through your veins, making it's way to your brain.

said ice whispers things you don't want to hear, reminds you of things you don't want to think about.

"fuck, i think i like you."

you run of upstairs to the nearest balcony, the house was familar one of your mutual friends', this place was where you used to play spin the damn bottle in high school. now it feels haunted, just as univiting as the guy's hands felt a few minutes ago, why did everything feel so distant now? first jungkook, now everything else. why was it so consuming?

you light up a cigarette, you didn't usually smoke but you wanted to feel that fire again, the warmth, the pure need from a week ago. you regreted not having fucked the guy because you were sure he could've made you forget for longer then this cig could.

“thought I might find you here,” he says behind you, kneeling next to you yet keeping a safe distance, his voice low and cautious.

"you shouldn't have," you respond coldly, because anger is a better emotion to feel then regret and you had plenty things to be frustrated about, "you've been avoiding me for a whole week, don't pretend like you give a fuck." you don't meet his eyes, just take another drag.

but you see him flinch in the corner of your eye. great, the guilt sits in you once again.

he shifts slightly, and you can feel the tension radiating off him , “i know I’ve been a jerk, but it’s not that simple—”

“then make it simple.” your voice is sharper than you intended, but the hurt has festered for too long. you finally turn to face him, “i need to know what you want. because this? whatever this is? it’s fucking misery.”

the words hang heavily in the air, and for a moment, silence stretches between you. jungkook looks like he’s grappling with his thoughts, the tension in his body palpable. then, slowly, he closes the distance between you, his eyes softening as he cups your face in his hands.

“can I kiss you?” he asks, his voice a whisper, as if the question itself is laced with vulnerability.

you nod, and the moment your lips touch, it’s like everything else fades away. the kiss starts soft, gentle, as if he’s savoring the moment, and you can feel your heart begin to race.

it's nothing like the previous fire you had wished to experience earlier, it's delicate warming sunlight, brushing over your skin, washing away the hideous color that had built over the last few days.

“friends with benefits,” he murmurs against your lips, his breath hot and sweet. “we get to have this-” he kisses you again, slow and lingering, “—without the pressure of expectations.”

“expectations?” you echo, your mind racing as you try to process his words.

“yeah,” he replies, his lips brushing against yours, each touch sending shivers down your spine. “we can enjoy each other without worrying about where it’s going. just... pure fun.” his hands toy with the hem of your dress, before returning your gaze.

time slips quick, it all feels so raw, so different from that night yet all so much better.

his hands grip your thighs, pulling you closer, driving deep inside you with a primal urgency. you can feel the way he fills you, stretching you perfectly. you're so glad you aren't drunk, that you'll remember this in the morning and the day after.

you claw at his back, nails digging in, urging him on, needing more, wanting all of him. and he curses, runs his mouth like the talkative brat you knew he always was, degrades you one second, tentatively kisses your cheeks the next.

his hands rest on your tighs as he kisses along your clit once again, sweet, real. taunts you 'for the mess you made on your friend's coach' but he doesn't give you time to feel guilty, just starts nuzzling his face back into your pussy, licking along.

no, jungkook will never make you feel the same guilt again. you're sure of it, well — not that you could really properly think under these conditions anyway.

[shaisuki]

📌 day three: exhibitionism + aizawa shouta

aizawa keeps you at arm's length.

teacher assistant's especially you, that are much younger than him are recipes for trouble and ua, despite its reputation as the best hero school all over japan isn't strict about colleagues being in a relationship. romance is hard enough to find outside when your job demands you to nurture future heroes that will soon be the pillar the country.

he may have just judged you too soon that you are like the previous assistants that attempted to seduced his fellow teachers and him. you were like nothing of the sort. too focused on the more things that needed to be taken care of and desperate to get that reference to be put in your resumé and the experience.

and the worst of scrutinizing you is he's the one who's slowly doing the things that a teacher shouldn't have. he's having unnatural thoughts of you. no matter of keeping the things professional and doing each other's assigned work, you creep on his mind. his stares are no longer innocent and would wander. thinking how soft you must be under your clothing. the stockings doing their purpose of covering your legs but it doesn't do justice to hide the fullness of them and the blouse you wore, it was delightfully sinful. everything about you screams of domesticity.

your voice is polite as you asked him where to put the recently acquired files. in which he only responds with a gruff. pointing at the cabinet where should it be placed and his eyes known for its function to his quirk can't deny to tear away his gaze at your thick thighs doubling in size as you crouch to place it.

confined spaces isn't a place he's comfortable with. not with you besides him. quietly staring at numbers of elevator changing as it descends to get to the floor where a conference is being held. he keeps his gaze straight at the door when he can see himself in a suit. the sight of it makes him itch and he's already wanting to get back to his sleep and you will be there. waiting for him. shit. he curses to himself. the slacks are already bad news and from how tight it was, it will show. he's blatantly disrespecting you from the way he thinks about you.

“aizawa-sensei, you should keep your thoughts silent. it's loud.” you say to him and he froze. “you forgot i can read minds.” he studies your expression. you weren't angry but he can see the swirls in those eyes of yours being plagued with the lines of betrayal and worry. his words are stuck on his throat. he can only stare at you with those black irises of his.

“it's fine. you should have just told me.” you offered him a small shy smile. “aizawa-sensei, can i?” he swallows and his expression remain neutral but his elevated heartbeat tells you another story. your palming him in his trousers. his erection growing the more you touch him. “it's okay, you can touch me, too.” and he snakes his arm around you. grabbing your ass and it was wrong to casually touch you like this when it's his fault for not being able to keep it in his pants. giving up in the temptation. the form being taken by you.

he's hot in your palm. throbbing in your touch, his cock coated with your spit seems to grow more and is attentive to the ministrations you were doing. it's getting bigger, cum beading on the tip and it made happy that your sensei is lusting over you. seems like ages ago that you were a mere fangirl of the underground hero and now, he's putty in your touch.

you grasp firmly his length. assessing his reactions and when you get the huffs and his hips bucking for more friction, you squeeze his cock before pumping it with your hand. you didn't mind that you were doing it in a elevator with the risk of being caught but you love the thrill of it, however it's not the same to him. you know how he hates doing something in public and you consider it to finish your job done.

it's pulsing, the sound of shlick as you jerk him off and the small puffs of breath he's exhaling. a brief kiss is exchanged before going back for more. just a little longer. swiping the slit of his cock with your thumb and speeding up your pace and with a groan. he cums in your hand. cursing silently at the mess he made.

the elevator dings, signalling that you two have both arrived at the floor where a press conference is being held. none of you spoke a word, keeping it a secret of what happened and it leaves a dull ache to your heart that it will be probably the last but how wrong of you to say that.

“(y/n)? had you seen aizawa?” midnight asked you. “n-no.” you stammer before hiding your moan with a cough. she seems satisfied with your answer before leaving the room. twirling the pen between your fingers before a shaky moan escapes your lips. the pen falls in the cool surface as you gripped the corners of your desk.

your tugged the man's hair below your desk. feasting on your fat cunt with your creamy thighs wrapped around his head. “aizawa-sensei.” you call him. your thighs quivering, a sign of your impending orgasm and with a silent scream you came on his mouth. his face surfaces between your thighs. licking the corners of his mouth before emerging. that was close but you two didn't care. it was a new thing that was happening between too.

aizawa's more than happy. who knew he did like fucking you all over the school with a chance of being caught.