#that i have record breaking (for the 4 yrs of adulthood i quantify my life by) happy days
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shootin star rollercoaster ROUND ROUND ROUND
#idk if thats how it goes i actually have never looked a the lyrics#but this is fo say#some thoughts before beddy bye#lately. things are v good and v. anxiety consuned#im like ^ so up and happy and yay!!#and then hours later im consimed by an anxiety i cannot shake#i have. obsessive and intrusive thoughts so#an intrusive thought enters and lingers for Days#the recent one is. so fucking uncomfortable and unflinchingly consuming me#and i hate it its attacking one of my fucking core beliefs as a person#every time i am weak i feel my brain began to become infected#and theres nothing i can do but scramble for my phone#hoping theres a distraction in there thats stronger than it#i hate all my anxieties but why does this one.#have to make me so low on the same days#that i have record breaking (for the 4 yrs of adulthood i quantify my life by) happy days#as always i want a hug so bad#oh and context by weak i mean under some influence of some kind#or just tired as hell and havent gone ti bed#i wish. i wish i could pour my anxieties out of me and feed it to a fish#and the fish whose brain too small for such large parasites#consumes and is just happy to be well fed#i am :((( im so upset!!!! and j was so fucking happy today!!!!!!#its the wine huh lmao#okay beddy bye#hopefully another day goes by that i survive the anxiety#gata
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