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#that i have record breaking (for the 4 yrs of adulthood i quantify my life by) happy days
skyeateyourdonuts
ยท
1 year
Text
shootin star rollercoaster ROUND ROUND ROUND
#idk if thats how it goes i actually have never looked a the lyrics
#but this is fo say
#some thoughts before beddy bye
#lately. things are v good and v. anxiety consuned
#im like ^ so up and happy and yay!!
#and then hours later im consimed by an anxiety i cannot shake
#i have. obsessive and intrusive thoughts so
#an intrusive thought enters and lingers for Days
#the recent one is. so fucking uncomfortable and unflinchingly consuming me
#and i hate it its attacking one of my fucking core beliefs as a person
#every time i am weak i feel my brain began to become infected
#and theres nothing i can do but scramble for my phone
#hoping theres a distraction in there thats stronger than it
#i hate all my anxieties but why does this one.
#have to make me so low on the same days
#that i have record breaking (for the 4 yrs of adulthood i quantify my life by) happy days
#as always i want a hug so bad
#oh and context by weak i mean under some influence of some kind
#or just tired as hell and havent gone ti bed
#i wish. i wish i could pour my anxieties out of me and feed it to a fish
#and the fish whose brain too small for such large parasites
#consumes and is just happy to be well fed
#i am :((( im so upset!!!! and j was so fucking happy today!!!!!!
#its the wine huh lmao
#okay beddy bye
#hopefully another day goes by that i survive the anxiety
#gata
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