#that horse is zooted out of its mind

[lilgnomefella]

@shalvis this is litterally us lmao

Possibly the most inexplicable thing I've ever come across at a thrift store. It appears to be a unicorn with a broken off horn being ridden by a gnome wielding a broken pistol and holding a kitten?? Who is this for!

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Mask (1994)

If you were born in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s, you idolized Jim Carrey at some point. In second grade, my class received an assignment to write a biography on our favorite Canadian sports athlete. I didn’t have one so I asked the teacher if I could do mine on Jim Carrey (he was born in Ontario). Four of my classmates asked the same thing. Carrey’s big break was Ace Ventura: Pet Detective but that film has aged so dreadfully its finale is unwatchable – even if you keep in mind it was made 30 years ago. A much better way to indulge your nostalgia for the comedian is to revisit Dumb and Dumber or today's movie: The Mask.

Insecure bank teller Stanley Ipkiss (Carey) finds a magical mask in the Edge City river. After putting it on, the mask transforms him into a green-faced, zoot suit-wearing extrapolation of his inner self. With his newfound powers and confidence, Ipkiss gets even with those who’ve wronged him and romances Tina Carlyle (Cameron Diaz), the beautiful singer at the exclusive Coco Bongo club. In the process, he crosses paths with gangster Dorian Tyrell (Peter Greene).   There have been several attempts to make a live-action Looney Tunes film, none as successful at bringing the series’ violent slapstick sense of humor to life as The Mask (and with Coyote vs. Acme being shelved by David Zaslav, that won't change anytime soon). Putting on the mask does more than alter Ipkiss’ appearance and give him the confidence to say and do what he’s always wanted to; it allows him to pull giant mallets out of thin air, survive explosions, re-inflate himself after being flattened, move so fast he looks like a spinning tornado, etc. Jim Carrey excels at playing loud, outlandish catchphrase-spewing characters, making this superhero origin story (the film is based on the Dark Horse comic by Mike Richardson) the perfect vehicle for him. He also fares quite well as lovable loser Stanley Ipkiss. He has great chemistry with the most memorable character in the film: Ipkiss’ dog, Milo. As far as movie pets go, there aren’t many who have as much personality as this adorable, occasionally aggressive, mischievous and deceptively smart (for a dog) Jack Russell Terrier. The pooch may not have a character arc, but its multiple gags build upon each other and Milo plays a critical part in the story.    If you expected me to name Cameron Diaz as the co-star with whom Carrey has the best rapport, I’m getting to her now. The two actors have chemistry but they don't quite sizzle like they should. Or maybe it’s that Diaz (in her film debut) is so stunning that a part of you dismisses any sparks between them – she should be with you. After donning the mask, Stanley howls like the wolf in 1943's “Red Hot Riding Hood” while he watches her perform at the Coco Bongo. You’ll be right there along with him. Seeing her, you remember the first time you saw Marilyn Monroe. All you can say is “Wow!”, which makes you all the more grateful to see that she can keep up with the dance numbers and comedic sequences. As a memorable aspect of the film, she’s got stiff competition between Carrey, the dog and the special effects but she nonetheless stands out.    The Mask is a pretty standard superhero story that’s elevated by its willingness to go all the way with its cartoon motif, the unforgettable one-liners and memorable characters. On top of everyone previously mentioned, there’s Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway (Peter Riegert), the police officer who suspects Ipkiss – even though no ordinary man could pull off the moves he pulls -, his dopey partner Detective Doyle (Jim Doughan) and several big scenes that will stick with you long after the film is gone. Partially because they are funny but also because they showcase the film’s use of music, dance and cartoon logic.    Special effects can often date a picture. Even if those are still (mostly) convincing, jokes that haven’t aged well can make you regret you ever hit "play". The Mask makes extensive use of special effects. They still hold up. When it comes to the jokes, the film does it right. There is a point where a mask-wearing Ipkiss starts turning into a Pepe Le Pew type… but the fact that he’s too much and that his overly aggressive would-be romantic gestures make Tina uncomfortable are both acknowledged and part of the gag.

I must’ve seen The Mask over a dozen times as a kid (mostly in French and on VHS) but that was years ago. I thought I only remembered the broad strokes but nearly everything came flooding back as soon as I started watching. Part of that I can attribute to repetition but also to the fact that this comedy is packed with memorable scenes, lines and characters. It holds up. (October 5, 2024)

[nightmaremp]

Weremayhem: Rings of Flames. Ch 12: Fights of the Raging Beast

  The hippo threw a punch at Dr. Teeth. The cheshire smilodon duck and right hook the hippopotamus’ chin. The water horse moves back a bit and rubs its chin. A bruise was forming there already. The doc quickly grabbed the hippo’s arm and slammed the hippopotamus into the wall of the ring. The water horse grunts as its body hits the stone wall hard. 

The large mammal got up off the wall and looked around the ring. The feline was….gone. Where did he go!? 

The hippopotamus starts to walk around the ring in confusion. Suddenly the water horse felt something that ripped through its back. It screams in pain. The hippo turned to see what attacked it but nothing was there. Blood runs down from its back and lands on the ground. 

A loud roar filled the ring. A pain shot through the hippopotamus as a wound appeared on its right leg. The water horse fell to the ground as it put its hands over its hurt leg. Sweat ran down the face of the large mammal. The ice blue eyes of the beast quickly look around the ring. 

Suddenly the hippopotamus felt pain running through its body but it was mostly at….its neck. Its eyes looked at the side of its neck and horror filled the water horse. 

The werechehsiresmilodon was biting its neck. Blood covers the fur of the feline’s snout. The saber fangs of the beast were deep into its neck. The hippopotamus grabbed the feline’s neck and try to pull off the beast. 

When the large mammal grabbed the neck of Teeth, his mind snapped. Dr. Teeth quickly bite down harder and pull. The cheshire smilodon ripped out the vocal cords, veins, and meat of the neck out with one quick movement. 

The hippopotamus’ body went limp and fell onto the sandy ground. Blood ran down and covered the ground. The feline swallows the meat of the hippo….whole. The crowd gasps before cheering for the winner. 

“The winner is the Cheshire smilodon!” yelled Constantine into the microphone. A huge smile covers his face. The crowd was loving the oversized feline. This was great! 

Meanwhile with the mayhem, Janice had covered her eyes to keep herself from watching the fight. She hates fights and violence. The sounds make her spine shake in fear. Her eyes lay flat against her head. The sounds, oh, the sounds make her stomach turn. The white tailed deer waited to throw up so badly but didn’t. 

Floyd was in shock. In all the years he had known the doc, this is something that the red haired male had never seen. Horror filled the gray wolf. It reminds him of something, an event that happened when he was young. The reason for the giant scar on his back. 

Animal let out a whine as he watched the fight on the TV. That wasn’t his bandleader, not his friend, but a monster. The drummer’s tail went between his legs. He covers his eyes and tries to hide from the screen of the TV. 

Lips were just quiet. It didn’t shock him. Dr. Teeth was a hybrid. Wereanimal hybrids are dangerous and should be kept away from. Hybrids are known to be….unstable. The lion shakes his head as he watches the screen as another fight starts. The doc was fighting a wereelephant. The cheshire smilodon had ripped the tusk of the bull elephant off and stabbed them into the large mammal’s skull. 

Zoot had a paw over his mouth. His eyes always stay on the feline. His mind was wondering how they can get the cure for their friend and find a way to get it to him. His tail hit the metal floor of the cage. The sloth’s ears stay flat against his head. 

Each fight gets bloody and more scary. Wounds cover Teeth’s body but that didn’t stop the feline from fighting and killing. Rage was all in his eyes. He was not in control, he was a…monster. 

In the Russian frog’s office, Constantine was laughing as he looked at the amount of money raised every second. “This is great!!” yelled the green frog with a huge smile on his face. His silver bear trap-like teeth shine in the lights of his office. 

“Yay!” replied the electric moohem with smiles on their faces. Suddenly, a phone call came in. The amphibian answered the call. 

“Yes?” asked Constantine. 

“How are the fights going?” asked a deep, gravy, scratchy male voice over the phone’s speakers. 

“They are going great!” replied the green frog. 

“Oh? Good” replied the voice. “I got some news too,” the voice added. 

“Yes?” replied the amphibian. 

“Another one of our markets was blown up” replied the voice with a hint of anger. 

“What!?” replied Constantine. “How?!” thought the russian frog. Anger filled his body. 

“I don’t know but we need to know who is doing this. We only have very few markets left” replied the voice. 

“Goodbye” the voice added before hanging up on the amphibian. The Russian frog huffs some hot air. 

“Great” he mumbled under his breath as he placed his hand on his face. 

Meanwhile in the lab that the building has. Flooyd was walking around the lab in his werefox form. The pink fur male has white and black markings all over his body.  The white markings cover his snout, ears, tip of his tail, and his stomach. 

The black markings cover his hands and feet. His pale yellow eyes look all over the lab. Flooyd gasps as he finds what he was looking for. A small tube of yellow liquid, the cure to the wereanimal rabies. He looked at the tube in his paw. 

“Should I give it to them?” the fox thought. Flooyd shake his head. “I need to. It’s…right” he thought to himself. 

The werefox walks out of the lab and heads to the room where the electric mayhem are being held. He walked into the room. “Hello” said Flooyd as he held the tube behind his back. 

“What the hell do you want!?” growled Floyd. His purplish pink eyes staring down the fox. He bares his fangs at the male. 

“I’m sorry for tricking you guys. So, how about I do something good?” replied Flooyd. 

“Yeah right! What can you do to fix this mess!?” replied Floyd Pepper. The werefox laughs before he reveals the cure to the band. 

“How about this?” replied the fox with a smirk. 

“What is that?” replied Zoot with wide eyes. 

“The cure to the rabies that your pal has” replied Flooyd. The band’s eyes grow wide in shock. 

“Really?!” replied the blue fur male 

“Yep” replied the werefox. He walks over to Lips and hands the lion the small tube. 

“Why are you handing it to Lips?” asked Floyd with a raised eyebrow. 

“Because, Lips will be in the ring with Dr. Teeth next” replied Flooyd with a sigh. 

“What?!” yelled the band in shock and worried. 

“Yep. The boss wants to have a lion to fight Teeth and your trumpet player is our only lion here.” replied the fox. He turned to the blonde male. 

“Listen, you just have to get at least a drop into your pal’s mouth. You need to hide this tube so when Tooth and lops come to get you, they don’t see it. Also don’t rat me out” said Flooyd. 

Lips nods. He placed the tube into his fluffy blonde mane. The tube sits still in his mane. It can’t be seen in his hair. 

“Good luck, you guys” said the werefox before he walked out of the room. He quickly moves far away from the area before anyone thinks something is up. 

[keepyourbliss]

stoner solidarity - jonathan byers x male!reader

in which the reader comes out to jonathan while both of them are high out of their minds [o:

With Joyce at work and Will off at school, Jonathan had fancied it an ideal time to invite you over for a smoke. Argyle was away for the summer and you and him hadn’t had a lot of time just the two of you. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous- you regularly made him feel that way, and he chalked it up to his anxiety playing up around someone unfamiliar, but the more you two hung out, the more redundant that excuse became for him- that didn’t mean he wouldn’t beat a dead horse, though. 

Alas, swallowing his nerves for what seemed like the 100th time that afternoon, he reached over and handed you the smoking spliff, which you happily accepted. The two of you were lying on Jonathan’s bed, sprawled out in different directions, only moving to offer or accept another pull between each other. His stereo quietly playing Louder Than Bombs filled the room while you and Jonathan stayed submerged in a comfortable silence. The drug made your eyes heavy and your body light as a feather as you pursed your lips around the zoot, taking a hit and breathing deeply before releasing a large cloud of smoke into the air, watching it swirl and blend into the faint mist hanging in the room.

“You ever been with a guy, Jonathan?” You rolled your head to the side to look at him, watching as he blinked at the ceiling in response. “Sexually, romantically?” You watched the realisation dawn on him. The tips of his ears and nose began to burn, his brows furrowed. 

“Oh, uh, no, that’s not-” He raked his mind as fast as his medicated brain would allow, scrambling to find the words, “uh, that’s not me.”

You stretched your arm out and leaned ever so slightly toward him, tapping him on the arm with your wrist, the spliff hanging between your fingers. “That’s not you?”

Jonathan took it from you gingerly with a subtle shake of his head. “No.”

He took a pull and handed it back to you as you laid back down, eyes fixated on the ceiling. A small, nagging part of you knew you were taking a risk by asking that, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care in your blissful state. You knew he was lying, of course, at least to an extent. You’d seen the glances he’d thrown you, lingering stares, always opting to sit beside you whenever possible and so on, but you decided not to press.

“Fair enough.” You revelled in the burn as you took another hit and closed your eyes, humming and bouncing your feet to the familiar melody as Morrissey sung something about shoplifting or something or other. You blew the smoke up, immersed in its dance until Jonathan’s voice interrupted.

“Is that…” He trailed off and you moved your head to look at him and for the first time in about half an hour, his heavy-lidded eyes met yours. The sunlight leaking through the crack in his curtains emphasised his features, bathing him in a cold, white light. “Is that you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Would you care if it was?”

You were sure he wouldn’t, but still you knew caution and discretion was essential.

“No, I don’t think so.” 

You puffed out a laugh, twisting your torso to hand him the zoot. “Yeah, that’s me, man.” 

You settled back into your spot, feeling his gaze still on you for what felt like forever, but realistically was about ten seconds, before you faintly heard him roll his head back straight, eyes joining yours in staring at the blank ceiling. You probably could have heard the gears turning in his head if it weren’t for the music. He brought the spliff to his mouth in your peripheral vision and took a particularly long hit.

“That’s cool.”

“That’s cool?” A small smile crept its way onto your face. 

“Yeah.”

[caseyhobson2-blog]

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[billiardgods]

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(H&S) Hustles & Sharks - Clothes & Accessories

(About the Author)

There are a few pool hustlers who use this shark very effectively. The use of clothing and accessories can be very distractive. The variety of choices and options is extensive. The cost to outfit for this distraction does not have to be expensive. Many second-hand stores, thrift shops, charity outlets, etc. can provide a wide variety of unusual wearable articles.

There are multiple levels in which this shark can affect your game. The outfit could be visually clashing with wild colors. It could by stylistically classing (i.e., actual or almost costume-like). If you are a clothes horse, he can engender incitement of envy with obviously cool items (i.e., a perfectly tailored outfit, or <any animal>skin boots, hats, etc.)

When visually distractive, just his movement anywhere in your line of sight can affect your concentration.

The pool hustler does not intend to hide his candle under a bushel. He wants to be noticeable from anywhere in a big room. Just his walking around draws all eyes to his attire.

Clothes and accessories can be theme-based. They can be historical from various time periods and eras. He could be the fancy dress of 1850’s European gentry, a zoot suit throw-back to the 1940s, the cowboy of the 1880s, or the Victorian gentleman.

Dress themes can be ethnic-based, such as African chic or Hawaiian beach. You might even see a rhinestone cowboy (urban version) with fancy embroidery and colorful glitter. The guy might simply intend a violently clash of colors – no theme intended.

Further eye interference can be incorporated through the inclusion of assorted accessories. These can be any variety of items from a clashing silk scarf or a fancy pure-white sash with gold buttons. Other articles of distraction could any variety of hats, belts, ties, vests, head bands, etc.

Bling (all fake of course) can be overdone for a huge visual distraction. This can include everything from wrist bands, arm bands, necklaces, and head bands.

This shark is not just intended to affect your visual and style senses. He can also extend its distractive value by infecting your mind with useless information. At various opportunities, he expounds on details about his clothing and accessory choices. This can include nonsensical historical background, the discovery and purchase background, and on, and on.

He could further engage your attention by finding fault with your clothing choices. Even if you refuse to participate in conversation, he does so with railbirds, while you are shooting.

Response

There are several effective tactics. If he is verbose, before the match begins, compliment him on individual items. Ask about where and when it came into his possession, and how much.

Keep asking questions and make him react to your efforts. Continue requesting more details and information throughout the match. At the very least, he has a problem assembling an effective table strategy. When you notice he starts avoiding eye contact, you own him.

Another tactical option is to express your distaste for shallow individuals who are soooo much more interested in themselves instead of caring for the problems being inflicted on the weak and helpless of the world. Used aggressively to overrun his attempts to change the conversation, you can force him to huddle in a corner.

Another tactic, especially useful when he obviously loves the sound of his voice, is the “silent stand and stare” technique. When you get up for your turn at the table, face him directly and stare at him. Eventually, this gets his attention. When he finally asks, “What?” say something similar to, “Shut up when I am shooting.” He may have a short-term memory problem, so this may need to be repeated. Even the most oblivious person gets the message after five or six repetitions.

And, as a last resort, this trick reduces his ability to concentrate on shooting. Just as he is getting up for his shot, give him a compliment about an accessory or something. Doing this just before he shoots effectively steals his concentration.

[table id=7 /]

Books to Expand Pool Knowledge

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