#that he Could replicate what was done to him in gwen and have her turn out like him. and then he couldn't

[gwensy]

ive talked about this in depth a million times over but seanan mcguire choosing to mention him offhandedly within ghost-spider 2018 & 2019 as "being completely inaccessible in a shield holding cell!" is one of the worst fucking decisions that has ever been made within the spider-gwen comics. the impact of his death, and gwen subsequently making the choice to leave him to be killed off like a dog by the hand, is removed entirely; ONTOP OF the emphasis that murdock himself puts on his own want for suicide within jason latour's run -- the most important thing to murdock by the end of vol 2 was gwen killing him, and he couldn't even convince her to do that in a way that felt personal I Fucking Hate These Comics

in a perfect world murdock is dead and buried in the ground never to return thats all

[privateanxieties]

you and me, we’re absolute

Synopsis: There they were, looking at the face of the person they used to know and realizing that all versions of themselves ultimately lose each other. But him and her, they’re absolute. Across space and time, Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy find each other, no matter how much time they have together.

Summary: The ‘what if Gwen also came back but it’s another version of her, but she looks the same’ story.

Warnings: angst, talk of death, grief, soft ending (don’t worry, it’s not sad), spoilers for NWH (set during NWH)

Words: 6.8k

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It could not have been more simple: make the antidotes, find the targets, cure them and send them home to a changed fate.

Dr. Connors and Electro seemed more determined than ever to fight for their interests, but Peter felt more confident than he did before. He had teammates now - brothers, he thought.

There they were, two other Peters, working on their own serums in a high school science lab, doing what they usually did, or tried to do: the right thing.

He was trying to be subtle while taking in the scene that he still had a hard time believing was happening.

He was in another dimension. A different universe where a different version of him existed, and he was also Spider-man. He also experienced defeat and loss, and he needed someone to guide him, to steer him away from the paths better left alone.

They could do that for him, be that for this young Peter. They could fill in the gaps where his friends couldn't.

The experience of being Spider-man was unique to them, and they could support each other through it, even if for a little while.

Not that this world's Peter had no support; his friends were clearly keepers. The tender moment he witnessed between young Peter and MJ gave him hope that he'd be alright, despite his loss. This Peter had a good support system, something he couldn't say he shared. At least, not for a long time.

"Uh, guys? I don't think this is working. I can't re-program these synapses to stop absorbing electricity. They keep neutralizing everything I do.", Ned called out, grabbing everyone's attention.

Snapping out of his nostalgic thoughts, Peter looked to where the young man was struggling, clearly frustrated that his antidote wasn't working. Ned had been assigned Max - Electro - whose powers were probably the trickiest out of all of them. God knows how long it took him to figure out how to keep Electro from frying his web shooters along with himself. And to think that in the end, it wasn't even him who figured it out, but -

Swallowing hard, Peter approached the counter where Ned was working, while the others went back to work after the brief interruption, thinking they'd handle it.

"Hey. What's going on? Talk me through it.", Peter said in a low voice. Something about being back in a school and working on a team project made him remember lab etiquette.

Ned paused for a moment, seemingly taking in his presence (not the first time he'd done that in the short time he'd been here) before clearing his throat.

"Ok, so - here it is. These cells replicate faster than the artificial suppressors can stifle them, so I thought I could re-program them to just stop doing what they're doing instead of stopping them from multiplying.", Ned said.

"Yeah, that's… that should work. So why doesn't it?", Peter asked, prompting Ned to look at him in anticipation.

"Well, I thought you'd know, since he's your villain and all.", he responded simply.

Silence.

"Yeah… that's not how that works. Not to mention, I kinda didn't defeat him I just sort of… anyway.", Peter said awkwardly, trying to avoid thinking what he was thinking.

"I had help.", he added lamely, the lump in his throat making it difficult to look Ned in the eye.

However, Ned didn't seem to be fazed by his omission. Ever the optimist, Ned turned towards Peter and his next words knocked the air right out of him.

"Well, did the person who helped you know that you're Spider-Man?"

It took Peter a few seconds to compose himself, coughing to cover up lost time in an already uncomfortable conversation.

"Yeah - um, yes, but -", he began, yet was cut off swiftly by Ned, who turned around as if determined to save the day. With his back now to Peter, he lifted both his arms and tried his luck once more that evening, not stopping to ask for permission.

"I wish we could get help from the person who helped you the first time.", he spoke confidently, waving his right arm in a circle and holding his left steady.

Peter's reaction was immediate.

"No! Don't do that! - "

Yet he was too late, his words dead in his throat and the tension in his head maxed out from what he felt in that moment; nothing but terror at seeing the orange portal open on the other side of the lab.

Frozen in place, unblinking - that was his state as he glimpsed through the opening a silhouette moving towards them - towards him - with careful steps.

The seconds seemed to stretch an eternity, and he was sure his heart was ready to burst the way he felt it in his chest, his throat, his forehead - everything hurt.

Until it didn't.

The masked figure that stepped out from the portal was clad in a spandex suit, although this one was crafted out of black and white fabric, intertwining in sharp angles across the torso and contrasted with patches of pink in a spider web pattern on the arms. Completing the look was a pair of blue pointe shoes that looked both completely out of place and somehow indispensable to the overall outfit.

If the suit left any doubt as to the identity of the person, the hair on his arm raising at the new presence certainly put it to bed. Another Spider -um, person?

Just like that, he could breathe again. Right in time for the commotion that ensued when the others realized what Ned had done.

"Are you insane?! You can't just -"

"Ned, what did you just do??"

"Who is that? Did -"

Everyone spoke over each other at different volumes, but the relief Peter felt in those few moments couldn't be ruined even by the headache he felt coming on. He could breathe now, and that was all that mattered. Composing himself as well as he could, he tried taking control of the situation since everyone else seemed enraged and panicked. He already worked through those emotions a few seconds prior, so he felt capable.

First, he could try to explain the situation.

"Hey! Everyone - calm down. Everything's fine, just.. Ned thought we could use some help and he didn't really think about what he was doing and he opened a portal…", he began, trying to get everyone's attention.

"Ned, you can't just go opening portals without telling people. That could've been anyone walking in and we don't need any more surprises.", the youngest Peter spoke, the edge in his voice sending shivers down Ned's spine.

"Yeah man, not a good idea. I get that you were trying to do a good thing, but you have to think before you introduce more chaos into the world. Just because it worked out the first time around…", MJ supported, though she spoke more kindly than Peter did.

Ned looked at both his friends, their disapproval starting to gnaw its way into his mind. They were right. He got ahead of himself and maybe got a little high on the magic he discovered was in his blood. He was no longer just the guy in the chair tonight. Although he always loved and wanted to be there for Peter like that, tonight opened up a world of possibility for Ned. He could do things for others and for himself now, and with that knowledge came a relief he enjoyed. He had more tools at his disposal to help his friends and make a difference, but it seemed they weren't welcomed.

With a sigh leaving him and shoulders sagged, he spoke without looking his friends in the eye.

"I'm sorry. I just thought we could use someone's help who's done it before.", he said in a small voice.

He didn't have much time to dread the response, because the silence that followed was broken moments later by a voice that didn't belong to anyone in the group.

"Who's done what before?"

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It was strange how quickly the air left his lungs. Odd how swiftly his chest caved in, crushing his heart without any pain.

He was stuck, frozen in place without any control of his limbs.

That voice.

The voice that he sometimes still heard, distorted, in his dreams.

The voice that motivated him to keep going when he gave up on everything.

The voice that refused to scream on the way down so he wouldn't be haunted for the rest of his life.

If he wasn't already on the floor, he was sure it wouldn't be much longer.

His mouth started moving without him, so anything was possible.

But apparently, he wasn't saying anything intelligible, let alone coherent, because everyone in the room was looking at him.

Everyone, except the newcomer, who was not just looking, but staring a hole into his existence - or it felt that way.

The room became even more suffocating than before, but no one spoke a word.

No one needed to, because when the newcomer reached for the edge of the mask and pulled it off, Peter did hit the floor.

No. She's not real. She's not here. It's not real.

"Peter?"

But then, his name left her lips in the same gentle manner she had always said it, and his mind and body went into overdrive in a split second.

"Gwe.. Gwen."

Her name was all he managed, because every other part of his brain was focused on taking her in. All the things he's known and loved, all her freckles - the way - the way her chest moved up and down.

"Peter… you're ok.", she said, approaching him with careful steps, arms raised mid-way by her sides. It seemed like forever before she finally crouched down in front of him, and he sank even more into the counter he was leaning against. He didn't mean to recoil, but his body was on autopilot and he couldn't breathe. He needed space.

"I.. Peter, I won't hurt you. I promise. You're safe, I promise. I'm so - I'm so sorry, Pete.", she tried.

In her voice, he heard fragments of what he's been holding onto for nearly seven years. All of it, flooding his mind and threatening to force his skull to shrink. All the things that make a person remove themselves from a world that begrudges them happiness and sinks every effort to keep their head above water.

Suffocating grief.

What did she have to be sorry for when he failed her?

He couldn't do it - he couldn't let her think any of this was her fault.

It took no small amount of effort to start picking himself up off the floor. In his first attempt, he took stock of all his limbs and decided they were serviceable enough to try, but his legs didn't quite cooperate, still numb and tingly.

In his second attempt, frustration mounting, he pushed up forcefully but lost his balance halfway there, prompting her to immediately react to steady him.

He didn't mean to let out that noise at her touch, and he didn't mean for it to be so loud.

He didn't mean to crash into her arms a few moments after.

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After everything that's happened to her in the past 24 hours, Gwen really shouldn't have been that surprised at the glowing orange - um, portal. Glowing orange portal.

First, New York wasn't New York anymore, and now a magic portal opened a few feet away from her.

And yet, out of everything, that mattered least.

Whether the portal was magic, or a hallucination, or a bad dream entirely, she couldn't help but be compelled to walk towards it, because the sight of him would be something she'd follow anywhere, even after all this time.

Even if she could sense her knees getting weaker the closer to the portal she got.

Her mind almost couldn't process the red and blue suit he was wearing, but his eyes were as bright as ever. Beautiful, brown eyes focused right on her.

God, his eyes.

The last time she saw them, they were looking away, avoiding hers. He couldn't meet her gaze after telling her he didn't want to see her around anymore, that he'd outgrown her company.

But that was a lie, wasn't it?

That wasn't the last time she saw his eyes.

As painful as it was, she still preferred to consider that the last time they saw each other, rather than the truth of the actual last time. When she did what she'd never forgive herself for doing.

It was like a magnet was pulling her towards the opening in reality, and she was letting it without hesitation.

Anything to see him again, even if it was already pulling at her heart.

Stepping through, the portal didn't take long to close behind her.

Had she been looking, she would've noticed that everyone was staring with seemingly different degrees of concern. But she wasn't looking anywhere other than at him.

He looked and sounded exactly like she knew him, if a little more mature. Maybe it was just the scruff around his jaw, or the way his hair was styled. Maybe it was just that he wasn't her Peter, but her mind couldn't process that knowledge when he was standing right in front of her, alive and well. Staring right at - or through - her. He was looking so intensely. He always had.

People were arguing. Teenagers, by the looks of it. She only caught the last bit, spoken by someone apparently named Ned.

"I'm sorry. I just thought we could use someone's help who's done it before.", he said.

That was her they were walking about, so she felt it was the right time to finally intervene and figure out what was going on, and in the process distract herself from all the thoughts swirling in her mind.

"Who’s done what before?", she asked, not knowing the chaos her question would reveal.

She heard his breathing stop, and in an almost automatic response, hers hitched too. He looked afraid, the very thing she couldn't stand witnessing. His breath wasn't resuming, and his heart was picking up. He was starting to look more and more the way he did that night. And Gwen couldn't bear it.

Without any hesitation, she pulled off her mask, hoping it would prompt a positive reaction, but it did the very opposite. Seeing him collapse against the counter did funny things, like reordering her entire list of priorities and placing him above everything else.

"Peter?", she asked gently, voice so quiet she could barely hear herself.

"Gwe.. Gwen.", he stuttered.

He recognized her. He knew her. And her name coming from his lips, even in that broken way, nearly singed a hole in her heart. She buried him two years ago, yet here he was, speaking - saying her name. He was so focused on her every move, trying to anticipate it and counter, almost like he didn't remember… she'd never hurt him. She wouldn't. She never should have.

Gathering the strength to talk to him as a friend when she knew herself to be the reason he was so stricken with fear, she only managed a few words.

"Peter… you're ok."

Gwen didn't know when she made her legs finally work, but she was approaching him slowly, carefully and with no small degree of fear herself. What if he told her to get away? What if he lashed out? What if, what if, what if. Anything he would've done had the potential to tear her heart open even more.

"I.. Peter, I won't hurt you. I promise. You're safe, I promise. I'm so - I'm so sorry, Pete.", were the words she found as she crouched down in front of him, trying not to flinch at the way he recoiled.

He still wasn't breathing, yet he was attempting to move, as if his singular purpose was getting away from her. She couldn't blame him.

On his first try, he slipped back against the counter, but on his second, he used too much force, and it sent him off balance. Gwen reacted instinctively, grabbing his upper arms and trying to ignore the electricity coursing through her at that single touch.

But she couldn't, because his reaction almost floored her along with him. That noise he let out, that finally made her understand - he wasn't afraid of her. She heard that sound before, escaping her own mouth, for weeks and months after his death. It was grief, sweltering and unforgiving, and so was the weight of him in her arms when his hyperventilating finally knocked him out.

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The first thing he noticed upon waking up were the muffled voices of people speaking in another room. Drowsy as he was, he couldn't initially make out any distinct words, but being Spider-Man meant a quick recovery.

He didn't recognize the room he was in at first, but a quick observation of his surroundings placed this as most likely some sort of teacher's lounge, and the soft surface he was lying on as some sofa/bed hybrid.

It smelled a little weird. One thing he didn't miss about school was how easily his senses were overloaded with stimuli, most of them downright disgusting.

Sitting up slowly, he focused his hearing by closing his eyes, and soon enough the conversation nearby was revealed.

"So he isn't your Peter?"

"I don't… think so, no. He's very much like him, though."

Wishing to avoid a repeat of earlier, he was doing his best to keep his breathing steady.

"Then how did you come here? I though only people who know Peter Parker is Spider-Man slipped through."

"Shouldn't you know that?"

"Wait a minute. How do we know we can trust you? You saw his reaction! If she's not the Gwen he knew, what if she's dangerous?"

And all at once, he couldn't sit still anymore. It didn't take him long to get back to the lab, considering it was only at the other end of the hallway. It was a good thing too, because things were getting a little agitated. He couldn't blame young Peter for his reactions tonight, after everything he's been through in such a short time. He wouldn't, however, let anyone interfere with this. Whatever this was, it was meant for him to deal with.

"She isn't dangerous.", he said from the doorway. She turned to him a split second before everyone else, and it almost made him smile.

"You're awake.", she breathed in relief, taking half a step towards him.

He nodded.

"Yeah, had to take a little nap, recharge my batteries. Got a big fight coming up.", he quipped unexpectedly.

He had no idea where that came from, but he was done trying to measure his reactions. The sight of her was turning him inside out, making him feel both young and old, powerful and frail. In love and heartbroken.

"Well then you should go lie back down, you're not looking so good yet.", she threw back unexpectedly.

So every version of her wouldn't hesitate to mess with him. Good to know.

He felt a real smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, though unsuccessfully.

"Can we - can we talk? I think we should… talk.", Peter said, forgetting about everything else.

"Yeah… yeah, I think we should do that.", Gwen replied softly.

Silence.

They were staring at each other as if that qualified for a conversation, and it gave everyone else in the room a universally known cue to leave. The oldest Peter was first to pick up on it, and he quietly ushered everyone out of the room. With nearly all antidotes complete, they could afford some time to discuss strategy and leave the two in privacy.

It felt like nobody said anything for the longest time, yet the air didn't fall heavy on their shoulders. The tension seemed to have evaporated with Peter's earlier episode, and now an understanding flowed between them. He didn't know what might've been said while he was out cold, therefore he didn't know what information she had.

All he could be sure of was that now, they were both looking at a version of someone they knew. Or, in his case, a version of someone he'd once known.

"I lost him too. My Peter.", she whispered out of nowhere, breaking the silence and a bit of his brain along with it. How did -

"You look like him. You look so much like him… and I know that I look like her, like your Gwen. I must, or you wouldn't have recognized me. I'm sorry that -"

"Stop.", he interrupted with a surprising bite. He could already map out the conversation ahead of them, and he would derail it in an instant if it went any further.

"Don't give me the platitudes. You don't know - You don't know what happened to her. What I did to her. How I failed to do the one thing I'm supposed to do, the only thing this suit is even good for. And I just can't hear you say those things in her voice. I can't.", Peter continued, knowing that with every word he was placing that crushing weight back on his chest and letting it ruin him. Even after all this time, he loved to torture himself over it.

Gwen didn't say anything in return for a while, and the look in her eyes as she appeared to stare off to the side of him was starting to unnerve him. He wouldn't take back his words, but he wouldn't let her assume the worst of him either. Or he wouldn't have, if she hadn't spoken first.

"So we both know how hard it is to stand in front of the person we killed."

Peter froze.

"And not just stand there, but talk to them; hear their voice, and try to convince yourself you're not imagining it. That you haven't lost your mind after all that time you've been without them. And that… whatever this is, however painful it is, it doesn't matter. Because it's worth everything, just to see them again. Even if it isn't really them."

This was too much.

But it was also what he needed to hear in order to understand who he was talking to. This wasn't another version of Gwen. This was another version of himself, with the same pain, and the same faults; the same failure graced both of their features and tainted the symbol they were wearing.

Was this how the Universe worked? Amassing cruelty and spreading it unevenly across consciousness? How was a person to keep standing under all that guilt?

He wasn't taking his eyes off her now, so he didn't miss the bitter, watery smile forming.

"I don't know if this means something. Maybe… maybe our paths were supposed to cross, you know?", she tried, though Peter could tell she wasn't really saying that with any conviction.

Her mention of paths crossing did stir something in him. His Gwen had said the very opposite of that on one of the last occasions they saw each other. After ups and downs in their relationship, they were on diverging paths for good as Gwen pursued her future on another continent. That was what should've happened. It was what always should've happened. Their paths converging would only ever lead to heartache and tragedy.

She had to know that. He had to tell her.

"No, Gwen…", he began, his breath catching on her name, "you and I, every version of us… whatever we do, we end up here. It always cuts short. I don't think there's any universe where we get to have each other. I don't think you and I ever grow old together. And if we keep trying… we fail."

It was hard, but saying it brought a relief he seldom experienced. It was what he should've said to her all those years ago, and it made little difference saying it to this Gwen now, but his heart calmed regardless. He needed to sit in the silence of what he'd just said. It was a different world now because of the words he spoke into it.

She didn't let him.

"I read a theory of quantum realities once… I think I was half-drunk when I did. It talked… about intersecting markers crossing every reality, their only purpose being to provide an anchor, something to ground the multiverse without breaking it apart. Of course, nothing that traverses realities intersects for long, not in the grand scheme of things. But they are, still, absolute points in time. They're not made, so they can't be changed. But they exist absolutely, independently of everything else. That's us, Peter. We're each other's absolute point in time. Although we break apart, we hold something together that's bigger than ourselves. That's why… that's why it hurts so much to carry this alone. We're supposed to do it together. That's why, when we cross paths, it's inevitable. We stay together until we don't. That's us."

Nothing much could be said after that, especially not when Peter knew he wasn't the best with words. That had always been her thing - in this reality, and apparently in every other. He couldn't just stand there, but he didn't know what to say.

"It's eerie how similar you are. He never handled talking about sentimental stuff very well, either.", Gwen said, evidently trying to find a way back into a more mundane conversation. Peter was glad to take the bait.

"Yeah? What would he say?", he asked.

"He wouldn't say anything. He'd just do his best to let me know he heard me, that he understood. And it was enough."

Peter spoke before his brain caught it.

"Can I hug you?"

Gwen's surprise melted into understanding very quickly, and to Peter's own surprise, she took the first step forward. Would he let her come to him or would he go to her? He was somewhat afraid he'd slam into her with no regard to his strength if he did, and by the time he made up his mind, she was already right there.

So close.

It was a sensation Peter wouldn't ever be able to describe properly, that of placing his arms around her. Although she looked and sounded like his Gwen, that was where the physical similarities ended. This Gwen was, most noticeably, taller by a couple of inches, and her built was likely influenced by the spider bite. Whenever he hugged Gwen, it felt like the comfort of the warmest blanket. This Gwen seemed, somehow… more sturdy. Like a person you might lean on for balance, because they give you some of your confidence back.

They both felt safe, just in different ways.

As they stood there, each lost in thought and feeling no urge to pull away, their minds circled back to the circumstances they found themselves in.

Gwen spoke first.

"How did you get here?"

The vibration of her voice spreading out through Peter's chest sent a shiver down his spine that she didn't miss, and a smile tugged at her mouth that she couldn't resist.

"Same as you. Magic's real here… apparently. Isn't that just… mind-blowing?", he replied absent-mindedly as his right hand started rubbing up and down her back in a soothing motion. Gwen hummed at the sensation, eyes threatening to shut after only a few moments.

"Personally, it ranks very low for me on the list of mind-blowing things I've seen today.", she said, prompting them both to huff in amusement.

"Yeah… there's two more of me right in the next room and somehow that's not the craziest thing around."

"Mmhm… three Peters. Reality might not be able to handle that much nerdiness in one building."

"Me? You're the one reading quantum reality theories at parties!"

"I didn't say I was partying… just that I was half-drunk. You can get drunk at home, on your own."

"See - now that's really sad. Reality might not be able to handle that much sadness in one building, especially in one tiny person."

"I am not tiny. I'm of perfectly adequate size."

"Oh no, you are small. Like, so small. And tiny. I can barely feel you in my arms right now, you're disappearing in them."

"I'm pretty sure I could lift you up with just one of my arms, so your assessment is inaccurate."

"Yeah, one of your tiny arms."

"Um, excuse me? Us - Excuse us?", came a voice from the doorway, surprising both inhabitants of the room.

 Just like that, their bubble was popped unceremoniously by the same person who brought them together. Ned was looking anywhere but at them, choosing instead to talk with his hands while staring at the floor.

Gwen was the first to realize it was because they were still embracing while waiting for Ned to actually speak, so she gently removed herself from Peter's arms and cleared her throat.

"Yes?"

Ned perked up immediately.

"Well, we just wanted to, you know - need to finish that antidote for Electro. I didn't want to bother you guys, but they sent me… so."

Gwen and Peter looked at each other briefly, before Peter took the lead.

"I don't know how much they told you, but we're kind of in the middle of a situation. Not that this isn't a situation, just a different one."

"Aha..", she responded, amused by his lack of explanation.

"Right! Well, basically: a lot of people from our universes got pulled into this one because of a magic spell, and they're people we - me and the other me's - have fought before. It's just that it never ends well for them, so we're going to try to help them this time, instead of sending them back to die.", Peter said.

"Alright, so how are you helping them? I keep hearing something about an antidote.", Gwen asked.

"That's right. We made one for each of them, except for… Max, because his powers are complicated."

"So where are you on that?", Gwen asked, picking up on his hesitation to divulge further. She didn't know this Peter that well, but she was already picking up on some of his cues for discomfort.

"We can't neutralize the synapses before they regenerate. His powers are like a battery, and I've fought him before, but before… he needed to draw power from other sources. Now it's like he's his own charger.", Peter said.

"Can I see a sample of what you're looking at?"

It took Peter a long second to answer, so Ned did it for him.

"Uh, yeah. That's why we brought you here - or, I brought you here. Sorry about that.", he interjected, making a line directly for the counter where he'd been working before all this.

"It's alright, it's worth my time, I think.", she said softly. Although she was answering Ned, her eyes were locked on Peter.

With Gwen's involvement, it didn't take very long to finalize the antidote for Max, which Peter should not have been surprised by. He's seen what she could do, whether it was this version of her or any other. He was confident that any universe with her in it would be all the brighter for it. Come to think of it, he still had a hard time believing there was a universe out there where she had spider powers. He's done his best to ignore it thus far, or at least not acknowledge it directly, but it was getting harder the closer to the antidote they were.

He had a sinking feeling he knew what was coming, but he was prepared for it this time.

This time, he wouldn't budge.

"Alright, that should be it.", Ned announced, taking his lab glasses off just as everyone else was starting to file into the room, as if they'd been waiting and listening, prompting Peter to fix them with a suspicious look.

"Oh, hey guys! The antidote's ready. Do we have a plan?", Ned asked.

"That we do. We're going to the Statue of Liberty. That’s where we’ll draw them out to.", the oldest Peter responded.

"Who all will be there?", Gwen took the opportunity to find out.

"Well, we have quite the roster, I'd say. There's three of mine and two of his…" he answered, nodding his head at her Peter before continuing, "…I get Osborn, Dr. Octavius and Flint Marco."

"Any of those ring any bells?", her Peter asked.

"None at all. What've you got?", Gwen answered with an amused huff.

"I get Max, or Electro as he likes to call himself, and Dr. Connors."

Gwen shook her head, not recognizing any names still.

"Huh. You'd think there'd be some overlap in bad guys, but apparently not.", MJ mused.

"We need to get ready to leave. We don't want them to surprise us before we get there. Is everyone ready?", the oldest Peter asked.

Affirmative responses sounded throughout the room, with one notable absence. Having sensed his hesitation, Gwen turned to Peter with a look of curiosity, but he wasn't looking at her.

"Are you o-"

"Can I talk to you?", he interrupted her. Not waiting for a response, he took her hand in his and led her to the hallway, shutting the door behind them for good measure.

This was not going to go his way, he knew that. But he didn't intend to play fair.

"I need you to listen to me."

Gwen waited for him to compose himself, but it didn't seem to be happening, and she had a bad feeling about it.

"You can't go. Whatever you're thinking, it can't happen. This isn't your fight.", he spoke with determination that verged on harshness.

She had an idea that was where the conversation would end up, and she wasn't unsympathetic - but she was torn.

"Listen… there's -"

"No. You can't. You're not doing this to me, again. Not - I can't let you.", he spoke over her, worrying Gwen with how frantic the look in his eyes was.

"Peter. Listen to me. I won't pretend to know everything about how you're feeling, ok? I won't. But this Peter, he's… he's a kid. He's just a kid who's having the worst night of his life. He needs all the help we can give him, and you know, you know it's not right to stand by and do nothing. I want to respect what you're asking of me, but I have this symbol on my chest for a reason. I know you understand that, too."

She hoped her words would be enough, but at the sight of his eyes, it was easy, so easy to just - give in. To just do what he wanted her to, if only he wouldn't look so sorrowful. If only it would stop the tears that began to gather in her favorite brown eyes. She could never respond in any other way than mirroring him. Different dimension or not, different Peter or not, the bond they had transcended barriers of space and time.

"Please, Gwen… just - stay with me."

Nothing had really changed, had it? He was still at that clocktower, on the same cursed night. He was trapped there, and she was trapped in his arms, unmoving. He was losing his mind, but she'd already lost everything. Her smile, her energy, her warmth - that haunted him the most. She was still warm as he held her, but she wasn't there anymore.

But then his cheeks felt warm, and he came to realize he'd closed his eyes tightly. Whether he looked or not, she was all he saw, but this Gwen standing in front of him was moving, and her smile was weighed down. Her hands were warm as she held his face, skin to skin. This Gwen was trying to get through to him, to give him her strength, and she would give him all of it, every last bit she had, if it gave him hope.

"Peter, we'll do this together. I'm not leaving your side, you're not leaving mine. We'll have each other, and we'll be alright. We have to help, despite how we feel. It's hard for me too. It's hard to see you in this suit, because I know what wearing it does to you. That's why we lean on others. Spider-Man can't be Spider-Man by himself."

It was so foreign, hearing her say those things and knowing she understood what he felt and what he wanted and needed. He'd forgotten, in the midst of everything, that she wasn't a stranger to his struggles, to the responsibility and hardship of being the hero. He forgot because he was only thinking about his pain, about his loss - only he was feeling the ground running out from under him. He was still selfish, just as before - only the hindsight of what would be unleashed upon him if he didn't play it safe kept him from acting on wants and needs. In other words, he wasn't letting himself want what he wanted because he'd already seen where that leads.

Of course he wanted this young Peter to come out the other side stronger, with faith in himself and the world, faith he'd already lost a while ago. Of course he wanted him to get all the help. That was the right thing to do.

And Peter was selfish to want his heart to be safe more than he wanted anything else.

In a way, he was torn between two kinds of self-preservation. Helping his young self was one way of making sure a Peter stayed hopeful and surrounded by loved ones, but keeping his own hope alive and unharmed was the only way he could go on fighting.

The first time, he managed to push through, but he was never quite the same.

He let Gwen make her own choices against his screaming mind and heart, and she was gone in less than an hour.

But New York… New York was saved. Countless lives were spared because of her determination, and her sacrifice.

And there he was, thinking it was his own.

Her will to do the right thing without thinking of herself was what made her his better half.

As much as Peter thought of the greater good, there was always going to be a line he couldn't cross. That's why Gwen was with him. That's why they were, as she said, absolute points in time. She could cross that line when he faltered.

She was crossing it right now.

And he had to be there to support her, because that's what they did for each other more than anyone else. New York may stand on their shoulders, but they leaned on each other for strength.

They stayed together until they didn't.

Taking a deep and ragged breath, he intended to lean his forehead against her own, but he was so out of it that it came across as more of a smack. She never budged.

Looking deeply into the blue eyes he was grateful he could see again, he brought a hand to the back of her neck, putting more pressure on it than he was used to, and she responded by tightening her grip on the sides of his jaw.

"You and me. Alright? You stay by me, and we stay together. Promise me.", he pleaded.

"I promise, Peter. We'll be ok.", she reassured him in a whisper.

"Say you'll stay by me.", he insisted in a pitch he barely recognized as himself. He knew he was unreasonable. He knew fights didn't follow a pattern or an order, and they could be separated at any given moment. He didn't care.

"I'm not leaving your side. I have to see your moves, right? Can't do that from across the field."

"What field? Gwen… are you paying attention? We're going to the Statue of Liberty. There's no field.", he informed absently. He was pretty sure he knew what was going on with her. She was looking at him in a way that had him reeling with the impulse to just kiss her.

"I'm sorry… you're just very close right now and I never… we… My Peter was…", she fumbled with her words in a murmur, not knowing what to say. But Peter did.

"You never told him you loved him."

It was simple, uncritical, honest. It was liberating to hear.

"I never got the chance."

"I'm sure he knew. I'm sure every version of me knows.", he whispered back.

He hoped she knew, and he hoped that her Peter showed her that in his own way. He couldn't imagine a reality where he knew her and wasn't in love with her.

With that thought, he gained a renewed sense of strength. The upcoming fight was no longer the climactic event he worried about, because his heart was beating in double time from other reasons. He'd get to see her in a new light, and he'd get to know another side of all she could be.

And because of that, his heart grew for the first time in years, ready to let in more of what made him feel alive, and to hope for good things again.

Ready to heal.

[spideyobsessed]

Before It’s Too Late - Prologue

peter parker x avenger!reader

Synopsis: With all the life changing events taking place, will you ever get to overcome some of your biggest fears?

Chapter one

“Come on, Y/n! Do it for me!” your best friend pleaded.

“I told you not at school! It’s not my fault you went out drinking on a Tuesday.” you scolded Gwen, who is being dramatic as always.

“Please! I’ll give you 5 dollars.” She clasps her hands together and pleads some more as she shoots you a sheepish smile. You let out a sigh and shake your head, knowing you’d give in to her eventually. “How about you just hand over your jello?” You bargain, doubting she even has money with her.

“Deal!” She cheers loudly before groaning and holding her head.

Ignoring your whiny friend, you scope out your area of the cafeteria. Once you were certain there were no eyes on you, you turn back to Gwen, “This is the last time I’m doing this at school.”

“Yeah yeah, just hurry!” She rushes.

You take a deep breath and focus all of your energy towards your hands. You place your fingertips on either side of Gwen’s head, a purple aura radiating from them. As the energy transfers from your fingers to her temples, you watch a wave of relief mask her face.

“Better?” You ask her, the purple already gone from your fingers. “So much better. Bless you, almighty Y/n!” Gwen bows her head and graciously hands you her jello cup. You let out a loud laugh before accepting the treat, “You are ever so welcome, peasant.” She shoves you slightly before joining you in laughter.

“I saw that, ya know?” A third voice suddenly appears.

Your eyes widen when you see who the voice belongs to. Michelle Jones. This girl notices everything and now she’s just seen you use your abilities. So dumb. So careless. How could I let her catch-

“See what, Mj?” Gwen interrupts your panicked train of thought.

The odd girl invites herself to sit at your table. She squints her eyes while looking back and forth between you and Gwen. “I saw how close you guys were just a minute ago. It just seemed like something is going on.” She speaks with subtle confidence, as if she just cracked a big case.

“What? Uh no. Nope. Nothing going on here, that’s crazy talk.” You chuckle nervously. The blonde girl besides you gives you a disappointed look, “Nice save.” You gulp hard and your palms being to sweat.

The secret is out. I’m done for. I’m going to live the rest of my life as a lab rat being poked and prodded every single day-

“I don’t know. Things just seemed kinda... fruity over here.” Your thoughts interrupted once more, this time by Mj and her idiotic comment. She and Gwen begin to laugh as you bury your face in your hands, your nerves settle, thankfully.

“Very funny, very funny.” Gwen manages to say through her laughing fit, “but we all know who Y/n really wants to swap spit with.” she points a finger.

You turn your head, and almost as if it was second nature, your eyes land on the guy you’ve been crushing on since 8th grade year.

Peter Parker.

You feel the heat spreading across your face and you’re sure your pupils are dilated out of this world, but none of it is enough to tear away your gaze. Gwen let’s out a high pitched “Aahh” as she attempts to replicate that of a beautiful church chorus (and does quite the opposite). You’ve learned to tune out your best friend’s theatrical tendencies.

The smallest smile creeps onto your lips as you watch him and his best friend, Ned, laugh and toss grapes into each other’s mouths. Gwen and Mj share a knowing glance before continuing their antics.

Look at him! The way he grabs his stomach when he laughs, the way his eyes crinkle in the corner when he smiles too wide, the way his curls droop over his forehead. He’s perfect... Oh no.

You whip your direction back to the girls next to you, “Is it that obvious? Does everyone really know I like him?” Your nerves return. “You only make it like super obvious, dude.” Mj snorts, stealing a fry from your tray. You sigh and start to pick at your rightfully earned jello.

“Too bad he doesn’t even know I exist.” You grumble, fully and shamelessly basking in your own self pity. “I can fix that,” Mj smirks, “Hey losers! Get over here!” She shouts from across the lunchroom.

She instantly captures the attention of Peter and Ned, who are obviously use to her ever so friendly nicknames, and everyone else in the cafeteria. You make brief eye contact with the curly haired boy and fight the urge to just melt in your seat.

Sweat starts to bead from your forehead as you turn to Mj and whisper harsh words of protests. “Just go with it, Y/n.” Gwen attempts to reassure you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. Please please please don’t embarrass yourself, you thought as they approach your table.

“Yes, Mj?” Ned questions her with his eyes squinted. You can tell they’re both worried about what might come out of her mouth. Quite frankly, you are too! Mj has no filter and is too unpredictable.

You try to avoid making eye contact with Peter, which is really hard to do considering he’s standing right next to you. You smell the strong scent of cologne and suddenly your throat is drier than the Sahara Desert. You sit in silence as you fiddle with your fingers.

“You guys know Gwen and Y/n, right?” Mj speaks in her monotone voice as she points a thumb over to you and Gwen.

This brings out a loud chuckle from Ned, “Uh duh! Of course we know Gwen Stacy and Y/n Y/l/n.” You can’t help but tilt your head over to Gwen, who is just as confused as you, but seems to be entertained by the event unfolding before your eyes.

“What Ned means is, uh.. y-yes. We’ve seen you guys around. And totally not in a creepy way or anything. We’re not stalkers. I just mean I’ve seen you pass by my locker. Not that I was looking for you or anything. I-It’s just that- well...um. I’m gonna.. stop there.” Peter finally chimes in with a painfully awkward laugh, but you swear it’s music to your ears.

Mj clears her throat, “Anyway, it’s your lucky day, nerds. Liz is having a party this Friday and these ladies don’t have dates, so you’re gonna take them. Ned with Gwen and Peter with Y/n.”

While Mj sits back and watches in amusement as Peter and Ned take turns stuttering words of confusion and hesitation, you lean over to Gwen, “Are we just going to let her set us up with them?” “Shh. It’s getting good.” Gwen shushes you.

“Well what about you, Mj? Won’t you be like.. the fifth wheel?” Ned asks a pretty valid question.

“As a young woman, I will be attending the party alone because I refuse to contribute to today’s patriarchal society norms.” Mj answers the question, sounding even more serious than you thought was possible.

The four of you are left speechless, none of you really knowing how to respond to that subtly backhanded statement. Mj continues, “They’ll be ready by 8:00 though. So don’t be late.”

“Demanding much? What if we had plans on Friday?” Peter scoffs while crossing his arms over his chest.

“You two have plans on a Friday night that don’t include a lego death star?” Mj mirrors his actions, calling his bluff.

Peter trades a defeated look with Ned and drops his arms. “No.” he sighs. “Good! So like I said, 8 o’clock. You’re dismissed.” Mj asserts before waving them off.

You get a sudden jolt of confidence and shoot Peter a small smile. He gives you one in return as he walks away with Ned.

“Really?!” You slap your hand on the table as soon as you were sure the two boys were out of earshot. “I believe the words you’re looking for are “Thank you, Mj. You’re the best!” but whatever.” The sarcastic girl smiles, obviously satisfied with her ‘leadership skills’, as she likes to call it.

You could just burst with embarrassment, “Oh, I have a few words I want to say, alright.” However, the bell rings before you get the chance.

- - - - -

The final bell of the day had finally rung and you walk to your locker in a slump. You spent the last three hours replaying the impromptu game of matchmaker at lunch over and over again in your head.

I can’t believe Mj pulled that stunt, you thought, but why was he so against it? He probably doesn’t want to go with me.

You absentmindedly put away your books and shut your locker. As you begin to walk towards the exit, you don’t even realize that the boy you’re constantly thinking of was right next to you.

Peter jogs a bit to catch up with you. “Uh h-hey, Y/n.” he says timidly, his voice making you stop dead in your tracks.

Your eyes widen and your legs now feel weak once you realize it’s really him. “Peter, hi!” you practically yell. Don’t seem too excited! You cringe at your eagerness before giving him a more calming, “Hi.”

The two of you chuckle at how awkward you both are. After a few seconds of silence and avoided eye contact, Peter is the first to start a conversation. “So lunch was pretty...” “Interesting?” you finish his sentence. “You read my mind.” He breathes as he looks down at his shoes.

You take this as your chance to apologize for your very bold acquaintance friend’s behavior. “I’m really really sorry about Mj. I had no idea she was going to do any of that. You and Ned don’t have to take us, if you guys don’t want to.” You manage to push out in one breath.

“No, it’s okay! I know how Mj is.” He reassures you with the sweetest smile possible. “I actually came to ask you what you’re wearing on Friday. I wouldn’t want to be underdressed.”

Heat immediately rushes to your face. This is not a drill! Okay, okay. Just breathe. Be cool. “Uhm I really haven’t given it much thought yet.” You tried your best to keep your composure despite the happiness coursing through your body.

“Oh, that’s totally cool!” Peter hesitates for a moment before saying, “Maybe we could, ya know, trade numbers and you can let me know later.”

You nod your head, maybe one too many times. “Yes, I think that’s a great idea.” You tell him, unable to hide the big smile plastered across your face.

The two of you chuckle once again at the awkward, yet somehow endearing, tension as you switch phones.

I can’t believe this is happening.

You can’t help but take notice of almost every little detail.

Peter’s phone has a screen protector, but still has a good sized crack on the top left corner.

There’s several unread messages, emails, and missed calls.

His home screen is a picture of probably the most beautiful sunset you could get in Queens. And oddly enough, the picture looks like it was taken from the very top of one of the skyscrapers.

I wonder how he got this picture.

After taking in as much as you could, you finally put in the 10 digits of your number. You simply put your name in as “Y/n” and locked the phone, handing it back to Peter, who was taking his sweet time.

Once you got back your phone, you see that he did not keep it as simple as you did. He put his contact name as “Peter :)))” and somehow managed to take and upload a contact photo as well. You smile widely at the sight on your screen.

“Awesome! So I’ll... text you later?” You say more as a question, but Peter doesn’t seem to notice this. “Yes, later! Sounds great.” He smiles as he walks backwards in the opposite direction from you.

“Y-yeah, uh, later!” You say as you copy his actions and also begin to walk backwards. “Later.” Peter gives you that smile that you love so much. You quickly turn around before he could see you blush anymore than he already has. Anyone with decent eyesight can see that you ended the day happier than you started it.

Okay, okay. Thanks, Mj.

- - - - -

“Oh what’s that, Peter? You want my number?” You say out loud, reenacting your conversation with Peter just minutes ago. The stares of strangers walking by you go unnoticed because you’re in your own little world, thinking about the boy of your dreams asking for your number!

“I mean sure, but I can’t promise I’ll get to you right away. There’s just SO many people blowing up my phone.” You say with a sigh as you dramatically place the back of your hand to your forehead. Wow, I’ve been hanging around Gwen too much.

You laugh to yourself, and continue your routine trek home until you hear a faint cry. To your right is a little girl, no older than seven years old, sitting on the stoop of these apartment buildings. You take a quick glance around, checking for any adults she might belong to. When you see no one around, you decide to check on her. With caution, you stroll over to where she’s sitting, and it was in this moment that you realize she’s cradling a small kitten.

You crouch down to her level, “Hey, sweetie. What’s wrong?”

The young girl looks up at you with her big, tearful eyes and then back down at the kitten. You let her sniffle a few times and muster up the courage to speak. “It’s my kitty.” her voice cracks, “He’s really sick, but my mom said we can’t go to the vet.”

You look down at the poor cat. His fur is matted, his breathing is labored, and he looks as if he hasn’t been eating. You can’t help but pity the both of them.

She can barely finish her sentence before breaking down again. Instinct kicking in, you start to rub small circles on her back in order to comfort her, “Don’t cry, don’t cry. I can help him!” The child instantly perks up.

“How are you gonna do that?” She questions skeptically while simultaneously placing the small creature in your hands.

You flash a smug smile before wiggling your fingers in front of her face. “With magic.” You whisper. The little girl’s eyes sparkle as she gazes upon the purple aura beaming from your hand.

You had no problem showing off your abilities to children. With their hyperactive imaginations and short attention spans, they don’t pose a threat when it comes to exposing your secret.

Finally turning your attention to the sickly kitten once more, you press your index and middle finger to its stomach. Just as it did with Gwen earlier today, the purple energy moves from your fingers and onto the kitten. It only takes a few seconds for the cat to spring out of your hands and back to its tiny owner, moving with full strength and purring happily.

The little girl gasps in pure amazement as she picks up her cat and squeezes it to her chest. “Thank you so much! I love magic now!” She squeals, a hint of sparkle still in her eyes.

You let out a lighthearted laugh and ruffle her already messy hair a little bit. “Sure thing, hun. You take good care of him!”

“I will, I will!” She smiles brightly before rising to her feet. “Mommy, mommy! Spiderman feels better now!”

and with that, the little girl disappears through the door.

Did she really name that cat Spiderman?

You roll your eyes and shake your head before carrying on.

- - - - -

“Alice, I’m home- woah. What the hell is this?” You spit in shock at the sight in front of you.

Your Aunt Alice walks up to you and gently pulls you through the doorway. She lets out a loud over exaggerated laugh, “Y/n, we have a guest! Don’t be rude when we have a billionaire in our house.” She whispers the last part to you.

“Uh- right! My apologies. I’m Y/n Y/l/n.” You walk up to the clean cut man with an outstretched hand.

He whips his sunglasses off of his face and you immediately feel ten times more intimidated and a hundred times more confused. He pushes himself off of your couch and steps in front of you.

The man placed his firm hand in yours and gives you a subtle shake, “I know who you are, kid. I’m Tony Stark.”

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

The next part!

Okay guys that’s the end of the introduction chapter!! I hope you guys like it! I’m sorry it’s everywhere right now, but it’ll start making more sense as it goes on, like most stories do.

I’m open for some feedback!! Let me know if the chapter was too long or too short. Maybe it could use more dialogue or less dialogue. Whatever you have in mind, just please be nice!! I haven’t written a story like this since I was like 15 so I might be a little rusty. If you’re still here, thank you for reading this far!!

edit: Sorry for any typos!!

[eve6262]

gwen and senna have a chat

The more time they spend with Gwen, the stranger she seems.

Senna’s been talking to her in the corner for an hour now, while Lucian fixes up some proper food in the decript old tavern kitchen, and every sentence gets more and more confusing. Eventually, she landed on “what are you?” and somehow creepy old doll that gained sentience was the only answer that evening that made any sense.

“So you like fighting.”

“Of course! Oh, she and I used to play fight under the table all the time! Of course, I couldn���t move on my own back then, but I do still love a good battle.”

“My maker” gives her no information as to who “she” could really be, but from what it sounds like, she reminds her distinctly of Isolde. But said queen was a seamstress before, not a doll maker, so that doesn’t seem quite right. Porcelain and fabric are very different things, after all.

But it would explain the scissors.

“So why do you want to fight Viego?”

“Because he must be stopped! The Black Mist is harming so many, and it’s taken over the Hallowed Mist! She would never stand for this.”

“Okay, but how did you know about Viego before we did?”

“Because I watched everything. I watched her die, and saw him grieving, and when I awoke I knew he must be the cuplrit of this awful mist.”

“But- who’s your maker?”

“Isolde!”

“Isolde was a seamstress, not a dollmaker.”

“Well, I imagine dresses and dolls aren’t that dissimilar.”

“Do you know how porcelain works?”

“Oh!” She snaps. “I see what the problem is! You thought I was a porcelain doll.”

“...What other kind of doll would you be?”

“Cloth!”

“They make those?”

“She did. She made me, after all.”

“...That...does make sense, actually. Now I get it.”

Lucian heads over, along with Vayne, who has leans against the wall as she munches on a sandwich. “Couldn’t get that one to eat anything close to magic, so we get extra.”

In front of them is what looks to be roasted pheasant with vegetables. The presentation isn’t anything, but as Senna takes a bite, she makes a sound of approval. “I do have to thank Thresh for one thing: teachin’ you how to cook.”

“You could’ve done it, if you were there.”

“Maybe. I’m not so good at it, though.”

“Is pheasant magic...?” Asks Gwen, looking at her plate with a confused look on her face.

“Demacian pheasant isn’t. But that one was Ionian, which means it’s enchanted by the land.”

Lucian grumbles some, then digs into her plate. Gwen, however, simply sits there politely.

“Not eating?”

She shrugs, and tries. Slices a piece off on her fork, puts in her mouth, chews, swallows, and goes, “That tastes...strange.”

“Strange?” Senna bats him on the arm, getting a pair of rolled eyes in response. “What do you normally eat?”

“Either wraiths or fabric.”

Vayne freezes mid-bite, turns to look at her with concern. Senna blinks several times. Lucian pauses, then continues eating. “Well, s’pose it makes sense. You’re not human.”’

“Fabric.” She places her sandwich on the table, a stunned look on her face. “And wraiths?”

“Oh, absolutely! Though I don’t prefer fabric if I don’t need to. I’d much rather make something with it!” In response, her needles come up to dance around her, pointing this out by making stitching motions in the air.

“You eat fabric.”

“Yes.”

“You’re not made of fabric.”

“I was, before I could move.”

“But now you’re not.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

“So why do you eat fabric?”

“Well, I’m still a doll, you know!”

“That doesn’t answer anything- and, wait, hold on. More important. You can eat wraiths?”

“Oh, absolutely! They taste like...Well, I’m not sure what else to compare it to!”

“...You think I can eat a wraith?” Asks Senna, chewing thoughtfully on a piece of meat.

“After I made you this?”

“I’m just curious.”

“I could go get you one!”

“...”

“Senna.”

“I’m just curious.”

At that point the door opens, and the Rookie swings themselves onto a chair nearby, clearly exhausted. “Somethin’ happen out there?”

“A lot of yelling...”

Without supplication Gwen hands off her plate to the sentinel, who happily starts digging in, and gives Lucian his proper praise for the meal. Vayne picks her sandwich up again, suspiciously eyeing the seamstress, and continues eating with a concerned look on her face.

Gwen, hungry despite herself, does say she’s going to get a wraith. “Get me one.”

“Senna.”

“I wanna know what they taste like.”

So she does, pinning two down and carefully crushing the bones into a thin powder that falls from them when you cut it open like weighted beads in a plushie. Now there’s nothing but shadow meat and the organs, which she decides to remove for Senna. Their texture is a bit like fabric- not food, she knows, but her food.

The rest of it is good, though, so she leaves that as she heads back, the emptied wraith dangling off a needle as she munches on hers.

“You weren’t kidding,” is the first thing Vayne comments when she comes back inside. Senna’s eyeing the wraith on her needle with a suspicious level of interest, and Lucian looks...she’s not sure what that’s supposed to mean.

“They all leaky?”

Gwen tilts her head. “Leaky?”

Senna wipes at her chin, which Gwen replicates. On her hand is the blood from the organs.

“Only if you leave the organs in! I took them out for you.”

“I could’ve tried them with.”

“I doubt you’d like them. They taste like fabric, a bit.”

“Why are we talking about fabric again?”

Lucian holds his head in his hands as Senna takes the offered corpse, and she takes a small bite. Vayne looks like she’s about ready to shoot both of them, but is only kept in check by the growing threat outside and her husband’s presence. Gwen looks at her with curiosity.

Senna finally speaks, having swallowed. “That tastes like...Lucian, you try it.”

“Why me?”

“You’ve tried more foods than me. I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Senna, that is a wraith.”

“And? A little won’t kill you.”

“How do you know?”

“Trust me. I’d know if it was dangerous.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You don’t have-”

“Did you forget? A little bit of her is still in me.”

“That’s not enough to tell you whether it’s dangerous to eat a wraith- which it is.”

“Just a little! I’ll eat the rest of it.”

“You- why would you finish it?”

“I mean...it’s not bad.”

Their bickering continues for a while, until finally, Lucian resolves to take a small bite. He chews, swallows, as Gwen gets to the head of hers.

“...it’s like tea?”

“What?”

“There’s this thick tea they make in Ionia with weird little balls ins the bottom. It’s like that.”

“Boba,” remarks the Rookie. “I’ve had it once.”

“Yeah. Tastes like that. Not like food, that’s for sure.”

Senna takes another bite. “’S not bad. And thanks for removing the eyes, by the way- no way I could’ve eaten this while it was starin’ at me.”

“Not a problem!” Sings Gwen, as the pops the whole head- eyes and all- into her mouth.

“I’m either killing or leaving all of you once this is over,” comments Vayne.

--

I have ruination event brainrot and I'm not sorry

~Eve6262

[courtney-deserved-better]

this is so niche but like. i just finished part 3 of disenchantment and need to spitball a total drama au even though the show isnt done yet. spoilers and rambling below the cut.

okay so like gwen is bean. like she just gives me bean vibes i honestly cant see her being any other character. 

i think noah is luci though alejandro is a strong contender noah just seems more luci yknow? 

elfo I think could go in two directions. we could go the typical route and have cody be elfo bc he simps for gwen and all that but i think changing elfo’s personality/role in this au could allow courtney to be elfo. 

like elves are more stereotypically snooty and classy in this au and have strict rules and courtney very much sticks to the rules but maybe lady elves or just elves in general aren’t allowed to be as aggressive and driven as she is so she leaves them to carve a path for herself. 

so shes not as much of a pushover asl elfo but she’s very much a stickler for the rules and has a bit of a holier than thou attitude and is a bit stuck up

maybe shes also a princess and never mentions it because she leaves her throne behind and doesnt want to be bound to princess duties that get in the way of her doing what she wants to do yknow? and thats something she can hide from gwen but as time goes on and the elves come to dreamland (which should be called wawanakwa) gwen learns more about courtney’s princess past and they bond over it. 

if we go the route with courtney then mora doesnt really exist in this au bc im gwourtney trash and that aint changing anytime soon. 

but it takes a while for gwen and courtney to like each other. courtney and noah also clash but noah and gwen get along pretty well. 

also noah looks like his usual self but can turn into pretty much what luci looks like when he wants to because magic demon powers and bc I love luci’s appearance so much (girl help i have gender envy for a fucking cartoon demon)

as for zog, derek, and oona, we’re gonna change them into sibling roles. lets say gwen’s dad, the king, had a lot of queens who all died after bearing him a child so gwen has a bunch of half siblings. and her dad is dead too. its the curse of zog or whatever it is in canon.

maybe cody could be derek (gwen does say he reminds her of an annoying little brother) and owen can be zog, and he rules with izzy as his queen, though it was an arranged marriage and izzy eventually divorces him to become a pirate queen like oona

and dagmar’s role can be gwen’s oldest sister, heather, who got turned to stone when gwen was younger and having only brothers and a crazy sister in law gwen idealizes heather as this great older sister despite barely remembering her. heather uses that to her advantage because she’s evil and once gwen finds that out they really dont get along (like dagmar and bean in canon)

owen is obsessed with the immortality pendant to bring his sister back to life after their drinks got switched not realizing that heather was trying to kill him so she could take the throne

i think chris should be odval bc he and bean have a hilarious dynamic that could totally be replicated with gwen and chris. and if chris has a gay wizard lover it HAS to be chef. chef is sorcerio

justin is merkimer. like really nobody else could be merkimer

trent is pendergast (my beloved) and turbish and mertz can be some hapless interns or maybe someone from a later cast, like spud and rock (that would actually be so funny spud can absolutely be turbish)

blaineley is the archdruidess of course

i dont know where alejandro fits in bc of course hes gonna be noah’s love interest but luci didn’t really have any love interests (except for kissy for a hot second but idc ab that) but i do think it would be funny if the usually unflappable demon noah suddenly has a crush on some handsome guy and is trying to hide it from his friends but hes terrible at it and gwen and courtney are teasing him 24/7 ab it. and noah is sad because alejandro would never want to date a demon if he knew what he really was but psych alejandro is a demon too. that’d be a great arc

i think beth would make a sweet bunty

and poor lindsay could be jerry! idk about becky and cloyd though… or the gunderson brothers… def need to know more about the last two before casting them

ok im crashing now but this is definitely gonna be something i revisit in the future. probably won’t post any fics until season 4 comes out so i know the full story before writing… 

harold as the jester though

[and-damntheconsequences]

Merlin and Music/Singing

So I said what I said about Merlin having a very sweet singing voice. It's just one of those things I have decided is canon. And I've been thinking it over in my head and I need someone else to realise the emotional potential and then we can cry over it. So...

There wasn't much music in Ealdor. On the festivals, sometimes people would come and sing folk songs together, but more often than not only the children bothered. Work was tough, harvests and springs were arduous and the winter months left little to be celebrated. The people there weren't unhappy, they just didn't have time for music. But Hunith would sing and hum as she worked around the house, she always had done, and when Merlin looked back on his childhood that was the sound he could always remember best.

When he was young, she sang him to sleep with lullabies she remembered from her own parents. Some of them were as old as magic itself, sung in tongues she didn't understand, but with sounds she'd learned to replicate perfectly. Merlin learned them too, and when he moved to Camelot, he would sometimes hum them in the darkness of his room at night, to keep the homesickness at bay.

Gwen heard him singing for the first time when he was mucking out the stables and she was sent to him with a message. She hadn't meant to sneak up on him, but he seemed so calm while he was singing that she hadn't had the heart to interrupt, but he stopped suddenly when he saw her. She complimented his voice, and he turned bright red. She was apologetic, because she hadn't meant to intrude, but secretly she was glad she'd said it, if only for the slight smile in his eyes that he couldn't quite hide.

After that, he didn't sing as much in public anymore. He didn't have anything against it, but it felt personal. It felt like sharing a piece of his childhood for the world to see, and in a place and time where his life depending on secrets, that didn't feel right. So he kept himself quiet, excepting humming softly, and let that musical part of him die out.

One day, that changed very suddenly, and not for any reason he would have expected.

A family had come to Gaius in desperation with a woman very sick. She was about Hunith's age, and like her in so many ways that it was heard for him to keep the tears at bay when Gaius told his family she may not last the night. They couldn't stay with her, nor could Gaius, but Merlin didn't want to leave her, so he sat by her side until the evening sun dipped below the horizon.

And then she asked him to sing something, said her children had sung to her while they had lived in Camelot. They'd gone to see the world, and the house had been quiet with them gone. She missed the music. She wanted to remember what it had been like.

So Merlin sang, softly, a few folk songs he'd known, and he passed magic through her to ease her pain, confident enough that she wouldn't notice, and that she was no threat even if she did. He stayed with her through the night, keeping lyrics alight with tune, until the sunrise came, and her breath was stilled.

After that, it became something Merlin did often. Living with Gaius meant that he saw more of the dying than most, but his heart never hardened to them. And when families could not stay, or the person had none to speak of, he would sit with them, children and the elderly alike, and he would sing. Sometimes, Gaius tried to talk him out of it, worried for his state of mind, but in time he understood that giving someone peace was helpful to Merlin, as if it could make up for all the wrongs he felt he'd done.

His voice started to come back to him, to be part of him again. He briefly considered using song in his spellwork, aware of the power it could hold, but decided against it. Music was something decidedly him, that wasn't magic. Sometimes he felt it was the only part of who he was that he could separate from it. His voice was a secret between him and those who'd passed on, it was rarely shared with anyone else. It was something destiny hadn't predicted, something fate had never touched, and he was grateful for it.

Arthur never heard him sing, or at least, Merlin didn't think he had. In truth, Arthur had heard him singing several times, mostly when they were making camp for the night and Merlin was collecting firewood or herbs. There, he seemed a little more free, and he allowed his voice to dance between the trees. Arthur never interrupted; Merlin seemed happy.

Merlin didn't know of this, and while Arthur lived, he didn't share his voice with him.

But after he'd sent him across to Avalon, when the lake had taken him into a sleep from which Merlin could only hold hope that one day he would wake, he would sing to him. Folk songs, druid songs, lullabies of the old religion, his voice carried across the ripples on the water, and he hoped that somehow, his friend could hear him.

[meowloudly15]

Stranded: Day 9 - IMPENDING MORAL CRISIS

Oh CARP I forgot to post this yesterday... I’m sorry. Next chapter will be up on Thursday.

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The Spider-Gang took shelter in an alley behind a Burger Monarch restaurant. Gwen inspected her left arm, which had taken quite a beating. It felt less numb now, and she could finally hold things in it without exerting a death grip. Since she was right-handed, it didn't matter too much.

"Where's Miles?" asked Noir.

Peter B. looked around frantically, as though Miles was still there but had turned invisible. "Oh no, he's not here. Miles! Miles, c'mere!"

"Can't believe you lost him again," commented Ham.

"I, no, I didn't lose him. He's just… he's just… something happened to his uncle. They'll both be okay? I think?"

Peni's face was impassive. "The Prowler's dead."

"How do you know?"

"Sp/dr has infrared scanners. He's in the next alley over."

"Is Miles over there?" asked Gwen.

"Uh, no. Just a couple of cops."

Oh, this wasn't good at all. Miles was in no shape to help out at this point, considering that the poor kid's uncle had just died. She was going to have to sacrifice herself. But that was okay if it meant that everybody else stayed safe.

"We need to find Miles," Peter B. said. His brows were set in a hard line.

IMPENDING MORAL CRISIS

Gwen knew that her spider-sense could help her find Miles. She knew that the Spider-Gang could comfort him. But was it really the right choice? Was having a load really the best idea? Would he die if he came along?

She shook her head. "No. We shouldn't. We need to get to the collider now. Miles would… he'll just slow us down."

"Then who will stay behind?" asked Noir.

"I will," said Gwen and Peter B. simultaneously. They looked at each other.

"It's okay if I die. There's nothing left for me back home, anyway," said Peter B. calmly. "My wife's gone… well not really, but kind of. There are other heroes in my dimension: Ricochet, Prodigy, Sable, just to name a few. The public… isn't super fond of me. I won't be missed much."

"Yes, you will. Your wife… your ex-wife will miss you. So will all the people you've helped, and all the people who've helped you.

"And I'm supposed to be dead. Don't you get it? Why do you think the media calls me Ghost Spider? Why do you think all the heroes in other dimensions are like you, not like me? Why is Gwen Stacy dead in every dimension but mine? I shouldn't be alive!"

Peter B. adopted a soothing tone. "Yes, you should be. You're a hero in your world. You've saved plenty of people, including your own dad."

Gwen's voice started to break, and she exerted all her willpower to hold herself together. "I'm no hero. I killed my own best friend! And I'll fight tooth and nail to make sure I don't have to see Peter Parker die again!"

"And I'd do the same for Gwen Stacy."

Gwen balled her hands into fists. "Not if I have anything to say about that."

Ham spoke up. "Woah woah woah. Nobody's gonna die. We just… need to figure out what to do with Miles."

IMPENDING MORAL CRISIS

Again, Gwen was struck with a ray of hope. Miles couldn't be the MILES OF INTEREST for no reason. But at the same time, she couldn't put all her faith in someone else, especially if that somebody had already been proven unreliable. She could only rely on herself. That was one reason why she didn't want to let friends help. Gwen couldn't control friends, but she could control herself.

At the same time, she owed it to Miles to help him feel better.

Where was Miles?

VISION OF BROOKLYN

Gwen exhaled. "I know where Miles is. Follow me."

Of course, as she remembered only when the Spider-Gang reached Visions Academy, she didn't know which part of the building he was in.

That question was answered a couple seconds later, when Noir caught a book that had been cast out of a third-story window. Miles' name was on the cover. Noir threw the book back through the window, and the Spider-Gang followed it in.

Miles' room looked like that of any teenager, except in even more disarray. He must have had a roommate, since there was a bunk bed, neither level of which was properly made. (Not that Gwen was judging, as she only made her bed when her dad forced her to.) Clothes were strewn across the floor, as were his books and notes. They looked like they had been recently scattered. Gwen, not known for her tidiness, knew that even her room at home wasn't as messy as this one.

Amidst the mess stood Miles, looking just as disjointed as did his room. He wiped a tear from his eye as he looked up at Peter B.

"Hey buddy," said Peter B. "You all right?"

Miles turned aside and softly shook his head.

Peter B. laid his hand on Miles' shoulder. "We've all been there. For me, it was my Uncle Ben."

Noir replicated the gesture. "For me, it was my Uncle Benjamin."

"For me, it was my dad," said Peni.

Gwen blinked hard. "For me, it was my best friend."

"Miles, the hardest thing about this job is that you can't save everybody," added Ham.

She couldn't help but smile. Though he was a goofy cartoon character, Ham was probably the wisest member of the bunch, if not the smartest one. It likely had something to do with him having been a superhero for 35 years.

"But, but I feel like it's my fault," said Miles. "You wouldn't understand."

Gwen remembered a dreary day in school, limping between classes, an unending bell tolling in her head. She remembered an even worse night afterwards, the bell striking the insides of her skull. The bell was still there, ringing more softly now, but she had given up on muffling it. It would slow to a stop eventually, but it wouldn't go away.

Miles needed to learn what had taken her two years to understand.

"Miles, we're probably the only people who do understand."

PERSONS TAKING NOTICE

Gwen saw the door handle rattle.

"Oh no, it's Ganke," said Miles.

Everybody jumped onto the ceiling just before a stocky young Asian fellow wearing headphones walked in. He sat down in the rolling chair and pulled out a comic book. As Ganke slid to the left, the spiders scrambled right, trying to stay out of his field of vision. When he spun to the right, they moved left.

Finally, inevitably, the kid looked up and saw everybody.

PERSONS TAKING NOTICE

"Hey," Miles said awkwardly.

"Do animals talk in this dimension?" asked Ham. "'Cuz I don't wanna freak him out."

Ganke passed out.

Gwen helped Miles drag his roommate into bed while Peni, Noir, and Ham left the room. After he pulled the covers over him, Miles turned around to see only Peter B. standing there. Gwen was halfway out the window.

"What's going on?"

IMPENDING MORAL CRISIS

She looked down. She really didn't want to leave Miles behind. But she had to. For his sake. For everybody else's sake. Peter B. might have deluded himself into thinking that he would save everybody, or that Miles could, but Gwen needed to sacrifice herself.

But would Peter B. listen to her? He never seemed to. He always had his own agenda. Sure, it was understandable, seeing that he was a loner. Maybe he didn't want anybody else in on his plans because he didn't trust anyone? But how would Gwen make him see that Miles couldn't help? How would she make him see that he couldn't stay behind?

As little as she trusted herself to handle the situation, she was the only person who could.

"Bye, Miles."

Gwen hopped out of the window.

Noir, Ham, and Sp//dr clung to the other side of the wall, listening in on Peter B. and Miles. Noir waved for Gwen to join them. As much as she wanted to get on with saving the multiverse, she wanted to stay. Friendship prevailed over duty in this instance.

This was why Gwen didn't want to make friends. They would get in the way, just like Miles would have. They would get hurt, just like Peter had been.

But did that make them bad to have?

Gwen stopped worrying about herself and listened.

Should she be here?

SURE

"You're not getting it. You're staying here."

"I need to be there, so you all can get home."

"They are going home. I'm the only one staying."

That's what he thought.

"But if you stay here, you'll die."

"I'm doing what needs to be done. I just wanted you to hear it from me."

"What about MJ?"

A heavy pause.

"Not everything works out, kid. I need the goober."

Wait, Miles still had the goober?

"Don't make me take it from you."

Miles sounded agitated, like he was drawing on his last reserves of conviction. "But that's not fair! Tell them I can do this!"

"It wasn't their decision."

"But, but I gotta make Kingpin pay! Let me make him pay!"

"You're gonna get yourself killed if you do that."

"But I'm ready! I promise!"

He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready. What would it take to make Miles understand that?

Gwen heard thumping.

Peter B.'s voice sounded like it was coming from higher up than before. "Then venom-strike me right now. Or turn invisible, on command, so you can get past me."

Miles strained. He gritted his teeth and growled. But, apparently, nothing happened.

Gwen couldn't help but feel bad for him.

His devotion to friends wasn't going to help him. He needed to be broken of the habit before he got himself killed.

"Poor little guy," Noir muttered under his breath.

"I know how much you want this… but you don't have it yet. I'm sorry."

Webshooters fired repeatedly.

"When will I know I'm ready?" asked Miles.

"You won't. It's a leap of faith."

Peter B. climbed out the window and joined the rest of the Spider-Gang. They swung back into the city in silence.

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[pebblerage]

Whatever Happened to Joanne Russell?

Oh boy, rambling about a character only a select few knows about are we?

So as you probably know, comic book heroes often have a handful of love interests. Batman who have characters like Catwoman, Talia al-Ghoul, Barbara Gordon and justice itself, right? 

Well Jack Ryder/Creeper is an odd case....

If I were to describe Jack Ryder’s (and by extension Creeper’s) love life, I would bluntly say that it freaking sucks. This isn’t too surprising if you look into it, as neither one of them have such a positive reputation with their peers and their questionable behavior may be a turn off. Creeper’s terrible flirting skills doesn't help either, no matter how hard he tries.

So has he ever had a significant other? 

I guess, but they are all pretty much exes. There have been four women in Jack’s life I guess you could call “love interests”. Let’s go through them!

1# Vera Sweet

I’m just gonna say it now. 

Jack and Vera have a very weird relationship.

If you look up profiles of her then there’s a decent chance it will label her as a love interest, like her wikipedia page for example. This is also mentioned on her Comic Vine page but it does also point out the weirdness of it all, as the “love” part did not really become official until the Creeper 2006 mini-series (like almost 40 years after her debut in 1968). There she is established as Jack’s ex-girlfriend.

So what was she prior to that?

Back in Beware the Creeper Vera was more like an obstacle, someone that Jack found annoying and tried to avoid most of the time. Not much of an love interest really, but it is possible that she would've been like Gwen Stacy - starting off disliking Jack but ends up liking him later. Unfortunately, as Beware only lasted six issues, this development never came to pass.

Then there’s also this panel from issue #6

I’m pretty sure that this was added to say “yeah Vera was supposed to be the love interest, but we didn't get that far”.

One amusing thing I noticed about her in this series is hat she is a bit of an attention seeker, doing things for publicity and the like. This is a trait Jack kind of absorbed in some later stories, for better or for worse. 

Anyway, what about after this series? Well she had a small cameo in Brave and the Bold #178 at Jack’s current work place, and the two seemed to be on better terms with each other. Until the end I guess when Jack steals the anchorman job (to expose the bad guy) she wanted. I say “I guess” because we don’t really see her confront Jack about it, only her angry reaction.

Vera has also apparently dropped the whether-girl job she had back in Beware and is a reporter here. Why I don’t know. She also feels a bit...mature(?) when it came to her personality. I can’t explain it but she felt less like a spoiled brat here then in Beware. I’m guessing it is because of her more appropriate reactions and behavior to things.

Next is the Creeper 90′s series and oh boy. This is the series that reveals some very questionable things about their relationship. Like that Vera has apparently stabbed Jack at one point.

When did that happen?! 

Why did that happen?!

Don’t expect Jack to tell because he has no reaction to it. No fill in for the reader, no comment, no nothing! It is like he has no problem with it. Did Creeper’s healing factor cause him to see stab wounds as small potatoes or what? Like a “eh, I’ve been through worse” kind of attitude? On top of that he also mentions later that Vera put him in a body cast for six weeks for calling her “Swetowski”, which is apparently her real last name. How great.

Later after Jack had his shower, he walks out without tying his bathrobe, leaving him completely exposed. Now remember that they weren’t explicitly stated to have been in a relationship in the past until the 2006 reboot, unless you want to see Jack’s “I used to let you borrow my toothbrush” line as proof or something. So Jack is basically walking out naked in front of a previous co-worker, without a care in the world.

Even better. Not only is Jack apparently fine with Vera seeing him nude, it’s not even Vera he meets outside, it’s his shape shifting nemesis Proteus who has taken her form. Even when Jack gets suspicious he still doesn't tie his freaking bathrobe.

I’m not sure what this says about him, but Vera later travels to Paris, leaving her out of the series until issue #10 when she comes home and comments on Jack cleaning the apartment and being polite as him “finally snapping”. Also that kiss on the cheek is the most romantic moment these two have shared so far. How this meeting would have gone if Jack wasn’t under the influence of the “wonder drug” he was taking at the time i have no idea.

So we finally get to the 2006 mini-series, that comic that finally established them as exes, and what caused the break-up?

Cheating! On both fronts even!

Granted they seem to be on a bit better terms here as Vera lightly smacking his cheek is the most violent thing she does to him, something i doubt pre-Infinite crisis Vera “I will put you in a cast” Swetowski would have done if she caught Jack cheating on her.

We also get some scenes with Vera as she admits that she still likes him so its not like she hates the guy or anything. She even gets jealous when she finds red hair in Jack’s apartment, thinking he has a new girlfriend.

The funny thing is that the red hair from that “red headed tramp” she talks about actually belongs to Creeper, or his red boa to be precise.

Unfortunately the same dedication isn’t replicated on Jack’s part, but to be fair he was kind of caught up in a pretty intense situation. Like getting along with Creeper, because it’s “we” now, something Creeper often repeats in this series.

Well as this relationship triangle is looking weirder and weirder its probably best to close this part as Vera sadly hasn't appeared as of late. Most likely because Jack Ryder/Creeper isn't a very prominent character in the DCU, and when either one appears they are usually a supporting character, giving Creeper related characters even less of a chance to show up.

2# Vicki Vale

Maybe Vera worrying about a redhead wasn’t too far off, as in the event Bruce Wayne: The Road Home we learn that Jack and Vicki Vale apparently have been together at some point. When did that relationship take place? Who knows! But they seem to be on pretty decent terms, as Vicki even calls Jack when she has a problem. Jack also calls her “Red”, because that’s the only nickname a redhead is allowed to have in the DCU I guess.

I’m not sure who Jack is referring to here though, but it’s probably Vicki as they’re supposed to talk about journalistic ethnics here and Jack talks like she doesn't care about the people she writes about. Also her reaction may also indicate that Jack’s remark was directed towards her. If that was supposed to indicate that she cheated on him or something i have no clue because unfortunately, the Outsiders issue of this arc is the only time these two interact in a comic so we are still a bit in the dark about them. I’m kind of surprised that they haven’t interacted more often as they are Gotham’s most prominent reporters after all.

3# “Furious” Fran Daye

To be honest, I was a bit conflicted about including Fran here as she was basically just a Vera replacement during the World’s Finest comics Steve Ditko made during the 1970s, Fran’s debut year being in 1978 with World’s Finest #249, but if Comic Vine feels the need to call her a love interest I guess that leaves me with no choice.

Like Fran’s Comic Vine page says, her and Jack’s relationship is pretty much just a role-reversal of Jack and Vera’s relationship, especially the one they had back in Beware the Creeper. Instead of Vera annoying Jack, it’s Jack annoying Fran, mostly by being a troll. 

Unless I missed something, I picked up little to no romantic tension between them. Unless you go with the “the boy shows that he likes the girl by being a dick to her” or the “main guy hooks up with the main girl”  logic they don’t appear to love each other at all. They’re more like rivals and it sure is intense as Jack often drags Fran into his antics when he tries to catch the villain of the week, something Fran often complains about. Also, thanks to Ditko’s art style she often looks like she wants Ryder dead or something.

As Fran sticks to these World’s Finest stories we haven't heard from her since, actually making me believe that Fran kind of got absorbed into Vera Sweet’s character as the two where kind of similar. This could also explain Vera’s personality shift from spoiled brat to lady with buttons you don’t want to push.

#4 Joanne Russell

Well here it is! The main course of this thing. That one that this is named after. So who is Joanne Russell? 

Well we can start by going through her introduction in Adventure Comics #445 from 1976. 

It’s a pretty simple story about Jack trying to solve some kind of murder story occurring in “Humboldt Institute”, with Ms. Russell being one of the victims there. We learn that she works as a physical therapist and that she is paralyzed waist down after a very strange car accident. We also learn some other stuff, but let’s save that for now.

Jack jumps the gun after a interview and declares it to be a murder case to boost ratings. This upsets Ryder’s boss who tells him to find evidence for his claim or the hospital will sue him. It especially doesn’t help when his boss later tells him find evidence that can pin-point the Creeper as the culprit - because everyone hates Creeper, you see.

Since he is the main character it turns out he was right, and that a strange robot, with the very threatening name “Manfred”, is actually wandering around killing people, and Joanne seems to be a special target. 

As the story progresses, it turns out one of Joanne’s colleges named Vernon Maddox is the creator of Manfred, and has telekinetic powers which is how he controls the robot.  

Why does he want Joanne dead? Well he doesn’t really, but his subconscious has other plans and commands the robot to kill Joanne while he’s sleeping.

After that the story goes pretty straight forward and it’s just Jack trying to keep Joanne safe from Manfred. But then we come to the ending.

Joanne learns that she too has telekinetic powers, and with that, she regains the ability to walk and that is how Manfred gets defeated. She and Creeper walk into the sunset or whatever, the end. During the course of the last part Joanne managed to figure out Jack’s secret identity, but she promises to keep it a secret.

But what is that?

You can interpret this in a few ways i’m sure, but to me it sounds like DC wanted people to write if they wanted Creeper to have a love interest or not. If we say that was the intention, then oh boy, the idea of Creeper having an significant other must have sparked some kind of uproar or something, because Joanne’s very next appearance in World’s Finest Comics #252 (1978) begins like this.

The sucky part is that Jack gets over it really quickly, just swears revenge by finding her killer (which turns out to be her assistant), and that’s pretty much it! Never mentioned again! 

But for real though, what the hell really happened here? I doubt I can solve this mystery, but I can offer you some speculations I have about this (because I have no life) and let you come to a conclusion yourself.

So I did take a look at the letters that came in subsequent issues of Adventure Comics to see if someone expressed some kind of dislike for Joanne. I don’t think I saw any, but I did notice some people not being too keen on the story itself for various reasons. Not to say it got no praise in these letters or anything, I’d say it was about 50/50, but still.

This message outright states that the story didn’t do so well..

Maybe that’s why Joanne got the axe? Because she was associated with a story that got a mixed reception? I dunno, that sounds kind of stupid to me, but the comic book industry chooses to do some dumb stuff a lot sometimes so what do I know.

Anyway, what about another suggestion? So the Adventure Comics three-parter was written by Martin Pasko, while the World’s Finest Comic stories were written by Creeper’s creator Steve Ditko. Maybe he didn’t want Creeper to have a love interest so that’s why he killed her off? 

According to this letter, Ditko is pretty speedy when it comes to writing. Maybe that resulted in him not realizing that Jack and Joanne where supposed to be a bit closer then how he portrayed it as? Because he didn’t do a full background check on Joanne, he thought she just was some random character who just happened to know about Creeper’s true identity so he thought “Oh I can write a murder story about this!” or something? And because he was the creator of Creeper, DC just let him kill her?

So we have five possibilities.

DC getting a bunch of angry letters from people who hated the idea of Creeper having a significant is still on the table. If they got them, I doubt DC would’ve actually added such messages to the comic’s letterers page.

The mixed reception of her introductory story got her axed.

Mr. Dikto didn’t like her/the idea of Creeper having a love interest he didn’t create, so he killed her to end a possible relationship.

Ditko didn’t get the memo so he thought Joanne was some throwaway character he could use in a murder mystery story. 

DC just kind of lost interest in it and dropped the relationship.

Whatever the reason was, it certainly effected The Creeper later as he never has had a present-day love interest ever again after this. Seriously, all the previous ladies are all his exes - none are in a relationship with Jack in present-day but Joanne (sort of). It’s like DC established some kind of “no-love-interest for-Creeper-clause”. All Jack is allowed to have are exes and that’s it! Also, because all of these stories mainly takes place before Creeper became his own persona (which is why I used both Creeper and Jack’s names a bit interchangeably here), you can actually make the argument that Creeper has no love life at all. All of the exes, plus Joanne, only really interact with Jack and when Joanne was with Creeper, it was still technically Jack because Creeper didn’t officially split from Jack until the 2006 series. And even then, Creeper didn’t talk or interact with Vera in that one, Jack did. The closest we got of Creeper having a love interest was when he went after Harley Quinn in BTAS, but that sure didn’t carry over to the comics where the two haven’t even officially met each other. 

There is Serene, but I doubt  people are going to counts her as a “love interest” for special reasons. Does Maxima count as a Superman love interest? She is probably the closest equivalent I can think of, but I’m not very good at the Superman mythos. 

Anyway, I thought Joanne had the potential to be pretty interesting supporting character if given some time to develop, and could’ve been a fun love interest to Jack. Even if her being his girlfriend maybe didn’t sound so hot for some people, couldn’t she at least have been his friend or something? I think Jack and Creeper could use some because they barely have any. The fact she is rarely ever mentioned makes me kind of sad because I did kind of want to see more of her, but it’s highly unlikely DC remembers her when Creeper himself doesn’t get the spotlight very often.  

I have probably spent too much time on this.