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valuationproperty34 · 3 months ago

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Why You Should Hire A Marrickville Buyers Agent: The Smart Choice For Property Purchases

Purchasing property in Marrickville, one of Sydney's most vibrant and sought-after suburbs, can be a daunting task, especially in a competitive market. Whether you're a first-time buyer or an experienced investor, navigating the complexities of the real estate market requires expertise, local knowledge, and strategic negotiation skills. This is where a Marrickville buyers agent comes in—a professional dedicated to helping you find and secure the best property deals. In this article, we'll explore the benefits of hiring a Marrickville buyers agent and how they can make your property buying experience smooth and successful.

What Is a Buyers Agent?

A buyers agent is a licensed real estate professional who represents the buyer's interests in a property transaction. Unlike traditional real estate agents, who typically work on behalf of the seller, a buyers agent focuses solely on helping the buyer find the right property, negotiate the best price, and manage the entire purchase process. In a market like Marrickville, where demand often exceeds supply, having a buyers agent on your side can give you a significant advantage.

Why Marrickville?

Marrickville is a thriving inner-west suburb of Sydney, known for its diverse culture, trendy cafes, vibrant arts scene, and excellent transport links. The suburb has seen rapid growth in recent years, making it a hot spot for both residential and investment properties. However, this popularity also means that competition for properties is fierce, and prices can be high. Local knowledge is crucial to navigate this competitive market effectively—something a Marrickville buyers agent can provide.

Benefits of Hiring a Marrickville Buyers Agent

1. Local Market Expertise: Marrickville buyer's agents have in-depth knowledge of the local property market, including recent sales, pricing trends, and upcoming developments. This expertise allows them to identify properties that offer the best value and investment potential. They also have access to off-market listings, giving you opportunities that are not available to the general public.

2. Time-Saving: Searching for the perfect property can be time-consuming and stressful, especially in a busy market like Marrickville. A buyers agent will handle all the legwork for you, from researching properties to arranging inspections and evaluating potential options. This saves you countless hours and allows you to focus on other important aspects of your life.

3. Negotiation Power: One of the most significant advantages of hiring a buyers agent is their negotiation skills. With their experience in the Marrickville market, they know how to negotiate the best possible price and terms on your behalf. They also understand the tactics used by sellers and their agents, ensuring that you don't overpay or miss out on a great deal.

4. Objective Advice: Getting emotionally attached to a property is easy, which can cloud your judgment during the buying process. A buyers agent provides objective advice, helping you make decisions based on facts and market data rather than emotions. They will also help you avoid common pitfalls, such as overpaying for a property or overlooking potential issues.

5. Comprehensive Support: From the initial property search to the final settlement, a buyers agent provides comprehensive support throughout the entire buying process. They coordinate with solicitors, building inspectors, and mortgage brokers to ensure everything runs smoothly. This level of support is especially valuable if you’re new to the property market or buying in a competitive area like Marrickville.

Choosing the Right Marrickville Buyers Agent

When selecting a Marrickville buyer's agent, it is essential to choose someone with a proven track record in the local market. Look for an agent who is familiar with Marrickville’s unique characteristics and has a strong network of contacts in the area. Reading reviews and seeking recommendations can also help you find a reliable and trustworthy agent.

Conclusion

In a bustling property market like Marrickville, having a professional buyer agent on your side can make all the difference. They bring local expertise, negotiation skills, and comprehensive support to ensure that you secure the best property at the right price. Whether buying your first home or expanding your investment portfolio, a Marrickville buyers agent can help you confidently navigate the market and achieve your property goals. Investing in a buyers agent is a smart move that can save you time, money, and stress in the long run.

#marrickville buyers agent

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prose-for-hire · 4 years ago

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UC Sunnyhell: Part Two

Hell is a place on Earth

Previous Part // Next Part

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: College AU where Spike is the campus bad boy who secretly is a softie that writes poems and reader is the new transfer who just moved into Spike's apartment since it was the only available room on campus (no one wants to willingly live with Spike). Spike constantly having one night stands over, reader always trying to study. Things appear to go from bad to worse.

Originally requested by: @sunflower-stan

Other tag: @fictionalhoomanofnowhere

Warning: Sex references. Swearing.

The first semester had been and gone by this point. You were settling into life at UC Sunnydale, found your friendship group in Buffy and the others. But one thing you still weren’t accustomed to, was living with Spike. He was hard to get along with at the best of times but living with him was a whole different thing.

He appeared to stay up most of the night and sleep well into the afternoon. He played loud punk music almost every waking hour and he smoked like a chimney. He never appeared to listen to a word you said and he pretty much did the opposite from whatever you said or thought anyway.

It was becoming really hard to live with him. Especially when he seemed to do everything he could to make you want to move out. He found it easier to live alone. To hide in the depths of what he knew than

Because of your current living situation you had started to branch out and pursue some of your interests. It beat staying in all the time and you really wanted to find someone that you could relate to.

You were a fan of musicals and the theatre. Poetry and literature. You liked reading and the way a writer could weave such intricate feelings. Scenes and spoken word able to explain your own feelings better than you ever could.

Your new friends didn’t really share your enthusiasm – even Willow was more into science and computers. Although your friend group were kind enough to listen to the way you spoke about your interests. They certainly didn’t make you feel bad about expressing your passions. But they just didn’t share your love and so you began to try to search out people that you could connect with. On some kind of deeper level.

You had been frequenting different bars that held open mic nights. Watching plays and listening to monologues. Letting the intricate wordplay wash over you. It could make you feel so many emotions. So many feelings were conjured.

Your favourite were the open mic nights. You pretty much never got up yourself, you usually would just listen. You were working yourself up to performing something of your own. You wrote things too it was just a matter of working on your performing skills. You were thinking of joining the clubs, maybe to improve your confidence in your writing. In your performing.

You walked back home from a play you had watched (and cried at) to find Spike sat there scribbling something. It was the first time you had ever seen him actually writing or appearing to do any work.

You were about to make a snide comment about it and then he noticed your presence. He almost jumped five feet in the air in surprise. He then hid the notebook behind his back and immediately got up to leave now you had returned. He left muttering something about you being a nosy bitch.

Spike had taken the opportunity, while he finally had time where he felt comfortable since you had actually left the house for once to write. This was something he didn’t like people knowing about. He wiped his eye as he stormed away. Hoping to God you hadn’t seen that. He couldn’t bear you knowing him that way. Laughing.

It was Friday evening and you had some friends over. There was a sudden knock at the front door. Spike had taken a baseball bat from his room and held it up as if he was ready to swing it.

Willow and Buffy’s eyes bulged at the object in his hand as they peaked from your bedroom doorway. Buffy was pleased they had convinced you to come to self-defence class now.

He walked slowly to the door, meeting you in the hallway skipping happily past him. He grabbed you back looking at you as if you were mad. He was expecting debt collectors. Again.

“Spike, it’s the pizza guy” You moved your shoulder from him before carrying on back to the door with the dollars in your hand, “What is wrong with you?” you muttered.

He scowled, jaw tensing as Buffy and Willow giggled at the way he had been so tense and he stormed away smacking the edge of the bat against the wall in his frustration. Leaving a small hole there.

You brought the pizzas back into your room (so you didn’t have to face spike again) and shared them out with your friends.

After you finished your meal and managed to calm yourselves down from whatever had just happened, talk of course turned back to Spike.

“So how is it… y’know…” Willow asked before mouthing “with Spike”. You hadn’t realised how much built up rage you had inside until you launched into your conversation.

“Well, I can tell you that Hell really is a place on Earth”

“That bad?”

“I can’t believe I’m stuck with him – if I even breath in his direction he has a problem with it!”

“Yeah, he’s always been a complete pig. Some people are just born evil” Buffy shrugged.

“Buffy! He’s not evil! He’s just… mean spirited”

“In the most evil way” Buffy added. She had never liked Spike. He was cruel and treated her as if she was dumb just because she was in a sorority and enjoyed cheerleading.

What you and the two girls didn’t realise, was that Spike was eavesdropping. You had all been laughing really loud and he was about to take his chance to kick Buffy and her little loser friend out. Until he found he was interested to hear what you all had to say about him.

You groaned, thinking about the way things had been. You needed to vent. So, you took the chance while you were in the company of your now closest friends.

“He’s inconsiderate and rude and also I’m pretty sure he never washes his clothes... but he always smells good. Weird”

“Totally weird”

“Well, we did like, warn you”

“And oh my God! He walks around naked all the time! There’s always some stranger he’s brought home and they are always so loud! He never studies and the plates are always piled high in the kitchen! It’s disgusting – he’s disgusting!”

“He’s always been so arrogant and gross”

“Hey, don’t wig, next year we can find a place. The four of us – right Buffy?” Willow offered, including her girlfriend. She comforted you as you caught your breath from your outburst. Willow rested her hand on your shoulder to reassure you.

“Really?” You asked with a smile as Buffy nodded. She was going to move out from her sorority so she wasn’t distracted for her last year she had already decided.

“Don’t worry, y/n. We’ll keep you sane” Buffy insisted.

Spike scoffed. The way Buffy acted as if she was saving you from him. As if he was a fate worse than death. You angered him. The way you had determined his character over a few fleeting conversations. The gossip your silly little friends told you.

You became enemy number one. Even more so than you had been before. He hated gossip and the way people would laugh behind his back. You reminded him of this every time he looked at you now, not that you knew this.

The annoyance for the other just kept growing. Yours had originally been fuelled by your friends rumours, but his actions were now getting worse. Spike was seething at your dismissive tone against your character. He didn’t even want a roommate, he only agreed the landlord to put the room up so he didn’t put up the rent again.

So he decided to try and make you leave. Properly this time. He didn’t care anymore, you reminded him of everyone out there. Everyone that he hid himself away from. Distanced himself from.

The tension rose uncomfortably. He was more rude. More gross. And he made sure to do everything he knew that he could to annoy you. It was petty, he knew it, but he knew it would get a rise out of you.

One afternoon, you had been scraping off some congealed red liquid that you had been concerned was blood. He hung out with a weird crowd, you only hoped some poor thing hadn’t been exploded in there. Although, upon further inspection it appeared to be tomato soup. But you would probably embellish the story a little to your friends.

You washed your hands and scowled at him. He had moved to lean against the doorway and just watch you clean.

“God, Spike, you’re so lazy”

“’Scuse me?”

“You don’t clean, you don’t study – what exactly do you do with your life?”

He was affronted by this. By the way you spoke to him. How he felt like you acted like you were better than him. In your frustration you didn’t care what he thought. He just didn’t care. You were trying to live your life.

He could hear Buffy or even Angel’s voice through your own. The way they had always berated him.

“And what? I should be like you? You’re not exactly making a proper go of it are you? Haven’t seen you do much of anything ‘cept follow them brainless bints around the shop. When you’re not doing that you sit in your room as life passes you by, livin’ through your little Musical shows rather than living in the real world - You’re boring. You’ll live your pathetic little life, stuck in your lame little ways until you die”

“Spike-”

“You’re all the same! You and your preppy little band of misfits looking down your noses at everyone and yet you can’t see the obvious, can you? You’re so bored with your pathetic, frigid little lives that you have to make it my bloody problem!”

You decided, seeing as that’s how he viewed you that you would treat him exactly like that. Like he treated you. Things got worse.

He started to invite people over all the time. You would call it a party but there was nothing celebratory about it. You were confined to your room most of the time as they all laughed and screamed along to their music. They were always drinking and playing music no matter what time of the day you saw them.

You usually avoided them, locking your door, but you had needed to slip out of your room for a moment.

“Who’s this?” One of the guests pointed you out as you tried to make it to the bathroom without anybody noticing you. Now everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Oh don’t mind them, they’re just for show hasn’t had an original thought their entire life” Spike shrugged.

“Aw, no, Spike. Another mindless automaton” One of his friends spoke up and he laughed. It was a cold laugh, there was no humour in it.

“Do you, like, want to-”

“Don’t, love. They’re nobody” Spike stopped the blonde girl from speaking to you more kindly than the rest. They all laughed at this and began to tease you.

You left, slamming the door and you heard them laughing, jeering at you for your reaction. It made tears sting the back of your eyes. You collected yourself, shrugging on your jacket. You walked to a place you knew you would be welcome.

You knew that you weren’t going to get on. But this was getting out of hand. You hated him. Hated the way he treated you. The way he judged you, despite him knowing exactly how that feels.

As you thought this, he appeared to be thinking the same thing. Which made Spike scoff and frown. Was he really better than any of the people he hated? He shook that thought away. Downing his beer and looking for another rather than reflect.

You had called Buffy on your way over and she had been quick to contact the entire group to tell them there had been a major incident. Everyone piled around to her dorm room so that they could support you. You had sounded upset on the phone.

You explained everything that had happened and they all comforted you the best that they could. Xander then showed you the stack of films he had brought to try to cheer you up. He had even found some Musicals just for you.

Buffy explained that she had called Angel but he says he’s sorry but he’s busy right now. Buffy appeared disappointed and when you asked her about it she explained. They used to date when they were seniors in college but they had broken up despite still both having feelings for each other.

She explained it had seemed the right thing to do at the time, but now she wished they were back together. You insisted that you would make it your mission to help them get back together which made Buffy grin at you. She really did value your friendship.

As the night wore on your friends began to discuss the idea of you taking your revenge on Spike. It had made you laugh as they suggested ridiculous pranks and ideas that wouldn’t bother him at all. But then they began to take it more seriously. Insisting that you should get even.

You said you weren’t sure. And left it at that. But they thought you had better do something or he wouldn’t stop.

You eventually went back to a trashed house after staying for the weekend with Buffy. You stared at the mess. Maybe you would have to do something.

It had been unusually quiet the few days prior and you should have known better than to hope he had stopped. You had heard a girl, one of Spike’s partners that came around more than most (Harmony but her sex noises were nothing close to harmonious). She explained that if they were to have a threesome it would have to be boy-boy-girl. Apparently, neither of them had been able to swing Charlize Theron.

You had overheard this conversation over breakfast one morning on. A rare occasion they were both awake (they hadn’t gone to sleep yet). You had immediately spat out your food in disgust of their blunt discussion.

It had been perhaps in slight exaggeration but you felt like you were allowed. You were fine with people having sex and having fun but you really didn’t want to have to hear about it over your breakfast. They could have at least let you rub the sleep from your eyes first.

He had scoffed at you at the time and now he had set this up seemingly just to rub you up the wrong way. As opposed to the right ways he was rubbing his partners.

He tried to push the thought down that this had been solely planned because of you. With you in mind. To get a reaction from you. Because that would start him questioning his intentions. His actions. How you made him so angry it was now near obsessive.

So, it appeared they had finally agreed on the logistics of it. And were now giving you a live audio performance. On some random Thursday afternoon just as you had settled down to study.

You swore they were doing it on purpose. Being as loud as possible just to get a rise out of you.

You pounded on the door. You could smell sex from where you were stood out on the landing. He opened the door and stale cigarette smoke appeared to pour out of the room with him. He had opened the door almost immediately. As if he had been waiting.

“Spike!”

“Problem, pet?”

“I don’t care that you’re having sex, the walls are just so thin – I have an exam coming up can you just be quiet? Or go to one of your, uh, friends’ houses…”

“Mm, someone’s jealous”

“I’m not-”

“Just ‘cause you’re not bloody gettin’ any” He prodded before he thought about it a moment, changing tac, “Oh no. I know what this is… You want me, you need me…” He teased, knowing it would make you flustered.

“I just- I just want to-”

“If you wanted a taste all you had to do was ask” He smirked, moving his hips slightly and moving his head smugly along with his words. Drawing your attention to his naked form. The people in his bed were calling him back and you were just staring at each other. All he was wearing was a single silver chain around his neck. He was attractive, you couldn’t deny this and he knew it too.

You were both furious at each other. Silently trying to gain the upper hand.

“You’re a pig, Spike!” You suddenly screamed, stepping towards him angrily. Which made him smile and just close the door in your face. That was what he had wanted. To get such a big emotional response from you.

You were so angry you threw one of your precious book at his now slammed shut door. He winced at the name you had used, one often used against him by people like Buffy. She even managed to get to him in his own home. You angered him. You angered him.

But he turned back and the noises started up again and you knew for sure that they were doing it on purpose now. It was getting louder and louder. He couldn’t be that fucking good, you were sure of it.

You ran into your room and rummaged through the stack of CDs you had brought with you, selecting the perfect accompaniment. The soundtrack from your favourite musical. You turned the volume up fully and let the entire score play out.

You never wanted to see his stupid smug face again.

#UC sunnyhell #Spike btvs #Spike x reader #Spike imagine #Spike x you #btvs #btvs x reader #btvs imagine #btvs x you #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #gender neutral #gn #college au

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pink-wisp · 5 years ago

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Featuring Penny being an innocent robot and observing people, trying to understand what emotions and relationships are. For those that just want the rarepair Penny/Winter I’ll put it under the cut.

Can be read standalone. Summery of last chapter: Penny snuck out to met her faux teammates. ‘Aro’ Glade is one of them and the only friendly one. Hard of hearing, goat faunus, has prosthetic horns. She’s lil quirky like Entrapta.

Successful interpersonal action: Three people.

They spent half the day drilling her backstory. Penny was adopted from one of Dr. Pietro’s clients who lived in Atlas. They were board members of the Schnee Dust Company who… disappeared on a business trip to Vacuo. Dr. Pietro adopted Penny and changed her last name to hide her from White Fang extremist.

The young women didn’t like it. It was… common and therefor believable. But it was sad. It placed blame on the innocent- but they weren’t really innocent and-

“Darling? Something is bothering you again.” Dr. Pietro gently prodded. Penny was reluctant at first. It wasn't a problem that could be solved. The cover story solved many issues but…

The more she thought about it the more her aura stirred and amplified her power unit to overwhelming capacity. "It's about lying," Penny blurted out. She squeezed her hands, almost tight enough to damage the artificial skin. She didn't know if admitting it stressed her out more or relieved the internal conflict. "It doesn't feel right."

"That's because you’re a good person." Dr. Pietro said with a smile. His hands covered her and squeezed. The pressure reaffirmed his presence and was comforting. "How about you go for a walk, outside."

"… Outside?” Penny repeated. She wouldn’t consider her trip to Aro’s apartment outside. She went from inside the facility to inside a transport, then inside a building. "Around Atlas?"

"We're still setting up your official documents but now probably the best time to explore as… as a normal girl, not a huntress-in-training or savior of the world," Dr. Pietro said. He was smiling, but like Aro last night it wasn't a real smile. His tone was soft, possibly sad? "The air might do you good."

"But I am not impacted by air quality."

Dr. Pietro chuckled, a hand cupped her cheek for a moment. "My dear girl, it's not just about taking care of your body. But also here," He tapped Penny's nose. She gasped and giggled. Her nose was various types of silicone and sensors, very sensitive ones apparently. "Go on, you're also supposed to learn, and you can only do that outside." Penny still squeezed her hands. And her father hummed in thought. "Oh I know, this would be the perfect time for you to meet Ms. Glade!"

"Oh! Um…" Penny froze a little, panic written over her face. Luckily her father turned around, chair walking to another workbench. Xanthic had to sneak her out, so it is highly probable meeting her soon to be teammates was supposed to be a secret. That would explain the private communications network, or maybe Xanthic was just trouble. So many thoughts fired through her processers jumped a little when she found a box containing a pair golden horns in her hands.

"These are Ms. Glade's new horns! I've made some modifications after all that testing we did with your artificial skin. She lost most of her hearing years ago and uses those horns to detect wavelengths as well as aura." Penny remembered the photo Xanthic altered. The Faunus ears on the sides of Aro's head must be the original traits she was born with, hopefully still flesh and blood. "Ms. Glade should be at Atlas Academy, helping with the weapons department."

"Understood," Penny said with a smile. She closed the package and left for the Academy.

Despite Dr. Pietro's encouraging words it was still difficult to actually leave the facility. The process involved using her scroll to open the door and moving her legs but they suddenly felt heavy. That instinct that caused her to throw herself into cover during her last trial suddenly pulling at the wires in her chest.

“I’ll be fine…” Penny whispered to herself. She was in a room with a hacker and a mechanic, two people that could directly manipulate her software and hardware and turned out fine.

The first few steps were terrifying. She made a note to research this strange feeling of being to protective of herself when logically there was no reason to be. She felt exposed, as if the artificial skin was peeled back and her metal chassis was open.

Penny yelped, holding the box to her chest when a Faunus on skates zipped by, a rainbow trail following her. Then she looked over her shoulder again, turn around and did one ring around Penny. In turn Penny notice the Atlas Academy uniform. The Faunus grinned and gave a thumbs up as she skated away, "Brothers! You are adorable! Cute dress too."

"Thank… Thank you! Your compliment is much appreciated!" Penny yelled back, hoping the pink Faunus could hear her.

After that Penny was able to relax. She may not had faith in herself because of her lack of experience, so instead she trusted her father and Ironwood's judgement. They put her through those trials for a reason and it was to make sure she could pass in public.

With some confidence restored she continued to the Academy. She allowed herself to wander from the most efficient path. Unlike Mantle, Atlas was a polished city. Buildings over twice as big as those on the ground, and hard-light displays everywhere. All sorts of amazing technologies walked the streets, from pets with prosthetic limbs to robots trimmed with gold and bright lights like Xanthic’s butler.

As she got closer to the school the number of weaponshops, Schnee Dust Company distributors, and restaurants increased. Nearly everyone around her wore an Atlas student or military uniform. A few gave her a glance but never lingered long enough to make Penny feel uncomfortable.

That changed once she entered the Academy.

The cool and steady tone of Special Operative Winter Schnee called out to her. “Ma’am, all non-personal are required to state their business at the guest office and receive a pass.” She said. Unlike the recordings Penny saw her in she was dressed in a civilian suit, almost business but just high Atleasian fashion. “And unmarked packages are to be inspected. This is partially a military facility after all.”

“Oh um…” Penny held the box to her chest. These were sensitive instruments. The horns connect directly to Aro’s brain and if the inspectors were to pry it open and damage it, it could cause neurological harm. “This is a delivery from Dr. Piertro to Aro.”

Flicker of instant recognition passed over Winter's face. Then consideration. Xanthic did say Aro's reputation preceded her, but would Ironwood's second in command really make an exception for the Faunus?

“Aro… You’re friends with Ms. Glade?” Winter asked leveled tone somehow flattening even more. She seemed resigned. An aggressive huff escaped her lips, “Of course she’d… Ugh. I will accompany you. State your name, civilian.”

“Penny, ma’am!” She answered clicking her heels to attention. Winter didn’t seem satisfied, instead waiting a moment then just walking into the Academy. Penny half jogged to catch up.

“Are you and Ms. Glade close?”

“Oh, perhaps? I do not know how to gauge relationship depth.”

“An accurate statement with that women,” Winter said. Then was silent for a few minutes. Penny didn’t encourage a conversation, she was too busy looking at the Academy. The hallways were so tall the new Paladins could fit but it wasn't wide enough for the mech to walk through. Winter noticed, “Would you like a tour?”

“That would be lovely!” Penny said with a large smile. She would be attending this school soon and experiencing it would provide better information than just maps and recordings. “I would like to examine the hard-light technology in detail, the sustainability is quite efficient!”

“It better be, for something so minuscule and unnecessary.” Winter said with a scoff. “Such dust is better in practical applications.”

“Hmm… I don’t think that’s true.” Penny gently argued. Winter looked over her shoulder. Penny winced, expecting a glare like Xanthic but Winter merely raised a brow. The specialist stayed silent so Penny continued. “These everyday applications helps further our understanding of hard-light dust. Only those very skilled with aura can use create something that last more than a few hits.” Penny noted Aro's hard-light blades didn't break or flicker once.

“That is a fair point.”

“Though installing 20 hard-light lamps within a single hallway is excessive.” Penny finished. At that Winter gave a hum of approval. Penny couldn’t see it and Winter’s tone was still rather flat but some part of her detected a smile.

Conversation lulled into hard-light application and the use of it in Argus. They both agreed that the barrier was brilliant but implementation needed much work. Winter thought sturdy walls like the one around Mantel with hard-light gates was the solution, though she conceded the opinion when Penny brought up ecological damage.

Eventually the hallway began to change. They widened so even a Spider Droid could walk down the halls. Classrooms were no longer around but instead numbered and heavily armored doors lined the walls.

“This is the combat section of the Academy,” Winter said, “We are approaching the workshop. It is open during training hours for student use, smiths such as Ms. Glade volunteer from time to time.” Winter pressed her scroll to a lock and the thick doors opened.

The workshop was huge, nearly as big as a single floor of Aro’s apartment. There were several rows of benches, some taken by students and three being used by Aro and her companion. Weapons in various states were scattered around them, dust ammunition and crystals on another workbench. Aro and her friend seemed to be using the third as a conversation prop, the former leaning against it while the latter sat on it.

Aro looked like a proper mechanic, jumpsuit in oil and grime. There was a little on her face until her friend pointed it out. Then it became a lot as Aro swiped at it with dirty hands. Penny quietly giggled. It reminded her of her father and brought a sense of comfort and familiarity. Apparently they pair was too focused on their own conversation to detect Penny and Winter, even as they advanced closer.

Aro rolled her glowing blue eyes. “Marigold. My answer is no.” Her words were stern even if her smile was playful.

“Me and Fiona will step in if anything goes wrong!” Marigold said. Blue hair, gold eyes. She looked familiar but immediate facial scans didn't recognize her. It brought up a Huntress Marigold several times but it didn’t match. Penny overwrote the current scan as ??? 'Aro's friend' Marigold. “I’m telling you, you have a knack for this kind of stuff.” She continued, picking up a rag and grabbing Aro, "Stop you're making it worse. Don’t move."

Aro made a displeased noise. A growl or perhaps a whine? She did comply and stayed still while Marigold cleaned her face. “It’s called Focus-“

“It’s called illegal and reckless.” Winter barked, voice nearly echoing the room. Aro let out a small scream, jumping almost a foot into the air while her friend flinched and slid off the workbench. They both slowly turned to the new pair. "Marigold."

The Huntress answered back in a tone just as cold, "Schnee-"

"Penny!" Aro yelled. She vaulted over the table and crouched. The purple glow in her prosthetic legs changed to a fiery orange. Combustion dust cartridge locked in.

"W-Wait!" Penny gasped holding the box above her, "These are sensitive equipment!" Just as the words left her mouth an explosion of purple and orange pushed Aro towards Penny. Winter had just enough time to take the box as the dense metal woman was lifted off the ground.

Penny squeezed Aro's shoulders, trying not to follow her programming. Processors immediately list several maneuvers to escape, everything was saying this was an attack. But it couldn't have been because Aro was laughing. Aro wasn't dangerous, she was a kind civilian but that information wasn't registering to herself defense protocols. Something else was off- her gyrostabilizer couldn't detect the ground.

"I am unequipped for zero gravity! Down please!" Penny squeaked. Aro sneered the slow levitating twirl slowly changed back to a stable vertical. Before Aro turned off the gravity dust, she hoisted Penny onto her shoulder. Her sensors couldn't process what was happening, visual data conflicted with her sense of gravity, logically Aro shouldn't be able to lift Penny with ease. "Wai- Wait!"

"Trust exercise!" Aro said with a grin and hearty laugh. Penny was tense, waiting for her density to pull them both to the ground. After several solid steps on metal tiles, it didn't happen. "See! Ease the grip, Penn."

"Oh! Of… of course. I'm sorry." She said quickly letting go. She was thankful for the durable muscle there. If it was a normal civilian like Ciel there would be a bruise. Penny yelped as the walk turned into a light jog, hand holding down her dress with a tight grip. It was impossible for her to feel sick but her sensors was still scrambled after her first zero-gravity experience. It was a highly unpleasant sensation Penny did not want to experience again.

"Penny! This May Marigold, my favorite Huntress and friend."

May chuckled a little and patted Aro's head. Her father did it too, earlier. Penny noted it down as an affectionate gesture. "Sorry about this one. Aro gets a little too hyper at times. A pleasure to meet you." She finished ruffling Aro's hair to hold a hand out to the young women.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, May Marigold," Penny said shaking her hand, quickly updating the information in her recognition software. She was a little surprised at how hard May squeezed and also updated her pressure output for next time.

"We have come with a delivery from Dr. Polendina," Winter announced set the box on the table.

Aro set Penny to sit on the workbench but while she was up there she noticed glowing purple circuits on the horns, as well as a few cracks and other signs of wear. If these horns were the basis for Penny's artifical skin it would explain all the complications. It was made for neurological input, human input… Penny willed her processors to focus on the conversation around her. Instead of opening the box Aro looked at May who couldn't hold in a snort and brief laughter.

"You came because you, and you," May glared at Aro who rolled her eyes. "Don't understand what a day off mean."

"I understand it quite well. What I don't understand is why I need it."

"I agree with the Schnee," Aro said with a shrug. "I'm still good! I don't need a break."

"You've been working for nearly ten hours straight! When was the last time you ate?" May asked. Aro grinned. The mechanic pulled a candy bar from her pocket and slowly unwrapped it. Her smile grew, glowing blue eyes never leaving May's glaring gold ones even as May's expression grew frustrated.

Penny tilted her head and watched them. From her experience with Xanthic and Ciel a few nights ago, frustration was a negative emotion, something to avoid. Between May and Aro it felt… teasing? Penny looked at Winter to confirm her suspicions. The women looked… indifferent. Humans express themselves quite differently and she hasn't been exposed to Winter's behavior to decipher it. Still Penny was confident that the lack of urgency was amusement. In Winter-language.

At the last second May snatched the candy away. "Alright you assholes, we're going to dinner." She declared, ordering the General's second-in-command. Winter gave a tired roll of her eyes while Aro shrugged.

"Nothing Minstral, I'm still working through the leftovers from a few nights ago. May if you would kindly…" Aro pulled her hair into a ponytail and turned the back of her head to the huntress. Penny leaned back to watch May's fingers trail over circuit on the back of Aro's skull before pushing a button. The gold horns shut down, color fading to a black glossy material and the glowing purple disappearing. Setting the fashionable aids aside, Penny saw a glimpse of complex wiring. The Faunus ears had no sign of cybernetics but they looked damaged.

"I will have to decline," Winter quickly said as Aro opened the box and inspected her new horns. Aids, Penny reminded herself. Her father said she lost most of her hearing in the accident that took her legs but Penny did not know the extent of the damage. "I already have prior arrangements to show Penny around Atlas Academy."

"You just can't stay away from work can you?" May sighed.

Apparently the damage was enough that Aro could not understand a conversation in close proximity at average volume. Penny looked at the two huntresses a little confused. Was it not considered rude to have a conversation that left one party unable to communicate? Why would they not want Aro's input?

"Do you really want me to interrupt your date?" Winter asked. Her tone was flat, mostly flat. The smile was hard to detect if without understanding micro expressions.

May scoffed, a blush feint on her cheeks. Her voice was noticeably softer than Winter's. Soft tones were personal but this situation was different. The word secret popped into Penny's head but why wouldn't they want Aro to know? "We aren't… I hadn't-" A loud click interrupted them and they all looked at Aro who winced, a new aid plugged into her neural input.

It signaled an end to the interesting conversation, much to Penny's disappointment. They displayed so many emotions and behaviors she never saw from her father or the General. May and Winter's body language quickly shifted back to normal, or as Penny saw it as, lightly guarded. She couldn't define the conversation as anything but teasing. Intimate was close but too personal. Friendly? Were they friends?

"Argh, ouch," Aro held the second horn to the port and twisted it in. Another click and almost a whine. The pain was brief and she turned back to the group. "Sorry about that. What were you saying Schnee?"

"Penny agreed to a small tour of the Academy but please have a lovely… " Winter said. There was definitely a small change in inflection, very subtle. The specialist paused looking at May who tried not to finch under those blue eyes. What did that mean? Penny hungrily observed all these small interactions. It was a puzzle she was slowly solving and still finding pieces too. Winter's eyes then cut back to Aro with a hard look, "Uneventful dinner."

May scowled, crossing her arms. She was about to say something but Aro literally jumped between them, "Then how about we do something eventful?" She asked with a grin. The ears on her side of her head poked out of her hair, wiggling up and down as she nearly bounced in spot. Penny wanted to touch it. "The Military Robotics Event."

"Aren't you banned?" May quickly asked.

"From viewing unattended! But I'll have two of Atlas' best huntresses accompanying me! And honestly if you two can't keep me out of trouble, Goddess save the Brothers."

May and Winter looked at each other both displeased and unyielding to Aro's pout until Penny spoke up. Aro was her soon to teammate, Penny could inspect the Faunus ears later, but this event sounded temporary, "I think attending the Military Show with friends would make for a most wonderful and eventful evening!"

"Yeah!" Aro slid by Penny's side, ears wiggling up and down in excitement. This time Penny found her hands trying to touch them but Winter calmly pushed her hands down. In her excitement, Aro was oblivious to the attempt. This must be what May meant when she said too hyper. "Please May! I won't touch the bots this time!"

May practically growled under her breath. Her face was a little red again. Penny knew blood rushes to the head when frustrated or flustered, but she did not understand enough about relationships to know which it was. Overall they seemed to be on positive terms so she hoped May was flustered- May suddenly grabbed onto Aro's ears and pulled them a little, making the Faunus squirm. It confirmed that they were still flesh and blood, but also resulted in an inconclusive assessment of May's emotion. Perhaps the flush was due to frustration? Both?

"You better. Or I'll sick Fiona on you."

"Yes, ma'am!" Aro said. As soon as May let go of her ears, Aro tried running but May quickly grabbed the back of her neck and picked her up. "Why- Seriously how are you all so strong?!"

"It’s almost as if you have gravity dust all over you," May drawled with a new tone Penny hadn’t heard before. Her systems registered it as sarcasm, emphasized by May rolling her eyes. "I'll help Aro clean up. Meet you at the front, Schnee?"

"An acceptable plan." Winter said, hands in their default position behind her back. She looked at Aro, the arms of her jumpsuit tied around her waist, sweat, grime and oil smeared across well-defined muscle or fat. Winter gave the first true expression Penny saw, a very tiny and sly smirk. "Good luck," She mouthed so Aro wouldn't hear.

This time May did blush- due to being flustered, Penny finally decided- and she only acknowledged Winter's teasing with a middle finger behind her back. Out of sight from Aro, Penny observed but why? At the entrance to the workshop the group split into their respective pair. Penny could hear Aro’s playful struggle and banter a few halls down. She wasn’t sure how sensitive those new horns are so Penny waited a few minutes more until talking.

"Schnee, ma'am-"

"I suppose since I am off duty," The Specialist said the last words with dread and more emotion than Penny had seen yet. "Winter will suffice."

"Winter…" Penny said slowly. She smiled and followed the huntress out of the Academy, "Are you and Marigold close?"

Winter's long strides seemed to falter, slow even. "In a way, perhaps. The Schnees and Marigolds are on good social terms and it's not often one from Atlas’ Elite families peruse a hazardous lifestyle."

Penny frowned. "I don't understand. Your similarities are enough to be friends?" If it was that easy wouldn't Ciel and Xanthic like each other? They were both serious.

"If only," Winter sighed. She finally slowed down and matched Penny's strides to look at the young women she was conversing with. Penny smiled up at her, showing appreciation for the gesture. She noted the Huntress' silence stretch on a little too long, eyes a little studious. Did Penny do something wrong? "The situation with me and Marigold is similar to you and Aro. Not many people understand us, so we cherish the ones that do. Even if there are differences."

"Interesting…"

Successful interpersonal action: Five people.

#penny polendina #winter schnee #May Marigold #rwby #penny x winter #winter x penny #pfenning #toy soldiers #wispywrites #cutting strings

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suzume-xiv · 7 years ago

Text

In-depth Character Profile: Suzume Kurogane

IDENTIFICATION —

· Full Name: Suzume Kurogane

· Pronunciation: Sue-zoo-mee Cure-o-gain ( (How I pronounce it and I realize that’s probably not correct in terms of Japanese)

· Pseudonym: Burning Rose (if anything)

· Nicknames: Suzu, Su, Suzi

· Age: 19 years old

· Name Day: 18th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon

· Birthplace: Unknown of exact location

· Guardian (Eorzean): None

· Residence: Room within a mercenary company, Lavender Beds. REFERENCES —· Motto: “No matter what I do, it’s for the sake of those I love.” Theme Song: None Face Claim: Barbara Palvin

STATS —

· Gender: Female

· Race: Au Ra (1/2 Raen/ 1/2 Xaela )

· Height: 4 feet, 9 inches

· Weight: 92 ponze.

· Eyes: Dark red iris, bright orange outter ring.

· Hair: White Blonde.

· Skin: Pale, nearly completely white, blue undertones if looking close enough.

· Build: Lithe, slender. She’s built for speed and silence.

· Scars: None that show due to the paleness of her skin. But she had a strange scar along the front of her tongue, though near impossible to see unless you’re inspecting it. Several litter her knuckles,

· Tattoos: None at the moment.

At First Glance (+5) Closed off, she doesn’t exactly ooze a “welcoming” air.

Angry, she’s always glaring at something or someone, for no real apparent reason.

Clean, Suzi makes sure her clothes, hair, face, weapons, everything is nice and tidy, well pressed and repaired and ready.

Her eyes are intense, no matter what, no matter the setting or the mood, that fiery gaze is ever relentless.

Always armed, Suzi always, without exception, has daggers on her hips, ready to be used, and who knows what other weapons she has!

FACTS —

· Occupation: Assassin, blacksmith apprentice

· Specialties: Killing.

· Skills: Playing a lute, singing, killing. PROFICIENCY —· · Education: Basic education, military provided training in · Favored Weapon(s): Daggers, two of them that rest nearly constantly on her hips

· Secondary Weapon(s): A revolver that she keeps tucked into her belt.

· Magic Abilities: None at the moment, though she has began to study the stars, but she doesn’t let anyone know that!

RELATIONS —

· Sexual Preference: Bi with male preference. · Romantic Identification: Monogamous

· Relationship Status: Single

· Sweet on: No one for sure at the moment.

· Alignment: Chaotic neutral

· Allies: None she would count as allies.

· Enemies: Mostly any form of law enforcement. FAMILY — · Siblings: Unknown as she doesn’t know her mother or father. · Parental: Unknown, she was given up at birth but she knows her mother was a Raen and her father was a Xaela and they were NOT a couple when Suzume was conceived. · Mentor: Many, none she would name. · Associates: None presently, soon to be the mercenary company she’s fallen in with. MENTALITY — · Social Level: Aggressive, not friendly. · Optimistic View(s): She’s very optimistic someone is going to piss her off today. · Pessimistic View(s): She’s also sure she won’t be in a place where killing them would be simple.

· One Positive Personality Trait: She’s loyal. Believe it or not, once her trust has been earned, it would take a LOT to lose that, anything short of trying to kill her would make her still question if it’s worth breaking ties for. · One Negative Personality Trait: Closed off and not very approachable. · ·One Personality Warning: Extremely hostile at the drop of a hat. · Random Quirk: Suzi carries a pebble in her pocket. It has no meaning, she just likes having it there. She can be seen sometimes picking one up randomly just to put in her pocket. · Hobbies: Sleeping, eating, training and reading.

· Addictions: None really. · Habits: Organizing her living space, everything needs to be in an easily accessible location, and things she treasures most must be in a place she can easily grab and shove in a bag in case she has to leave in a hurry. · Pleasures: Long baths, starry nights, the warm crackle of a fire.

Appreciates (List 5+)

Honesty

Loyalty

Respect

Understanding

Straightforwardness

Dislikes (List 5+)

Small talk

Nosy questions

Rambling people

Feeling emotions

Weakness

Strengths (List 5+)

Professional

Calm under pressure

Combat proficient

Quick

Witty

Weaknesses (List 5+)

Distant

Doesn’t connect easily with other people

Succumbs to depression often (though hard to tell with her attitude)

Expressing emotion

Asking for help

Fears (List 5+)

Being/dying alone

Turning into the monster she’s been told her father is and feeling unable to stop it

Water (she can’t swim)

Losing what little she holds dear

Never meeting her mother and father

FAVORITES –– · Favorite Food(s): Grapes · Favorite Drink(s): Tea · Favorite Scent(s): Damp earth and the scent of a warm fire. · Favorite Colors: Black, red, orange and light blue TRIVIA - - Suzi really wants to meet her parents, to find out what really happened... and kill someone if needed. OOC - Server: Mateus Timezone: CST Experience: Roleplay experience of 9-10 years (Wow.. it’s been a while). Long, medium, short any length of post works for me, I’ll go with the flow, but prefer more than one liners and posts that move the scene along. Type of RP: Any/All - Prefer long term but I don’t mind casual stuff either :D Mature content is totally acceptable, I just don’t do perma-deaths without heavily considering the entire plot. Maiming, torture, etc etc if the rp leads there, then that’s where we go! (though talking about that kind of thing first is always polite). Looking for: Friends, foes--anything! All the kind of ships you can think of, I want ‘em! I also am interested in making OOC friends too with my IC partners so that’s a cool thing too. But I’m also looking for reliability. You don’t have to be on EVERYDAY, but communication is really important to me :( Just don’t leave me in the dark and I’m happy. Tagged by @lumina-star-okochi Tagging @duskhorned @drakeandstray @tegusken-do @kkmateus @kaiser-rhen @of-ice-and-swords @ritsuka-aoki (For Sari or whomever if you haven’t done it!) And whoever I didn’t tag but wants to do it!! :D Tag me so I can read too :D

#Character sheet #in depth character profile #character profile #mateus #ffxiv #suzume kurogane

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sally-mun · 7 years ago

Note

As someone who hasn't, wouldn't, and won't be experiencing Major/Minor (or whatever it was called) could you perhaps analyze more specifically some of the things you felt were missteps more in depth, so others who decide they might want to make a visual novel or even just a story, might be able to avoid the same issues? I realize this might not be your area of interest, but I'm always interested in these kinds of analyses.

Man, where do I even begin.

I suppose I should start by saying that this game could have been fine; I don’t necessarily hate this game for the story, even if I think it’s uninspired. I play lots of point-and-click games and usually enjoy them (even the stupid ones) so long as they have merit in one area or another. But that’s the core of the problems with Major/Minor: It has NO merit to work with. Its construction shows absolutely no understanding of this genre of game design. Or of writing. Or of entertainment in general. Or of simply respecting one’s audience.

First and foremost, let’s discuss visual novels.

The critical difference between a novel and a visual novel is interactivity; a novel is a set and done deal that takes its readers along for the ride, whereas a visual novel invites the readers to be part of the ride itself. The direction of the story is influenced by the player, and this allows them to personally take ownership of later events. It’s the sort of game that tries to put you in the role of the protagonist in the most direct form possible. Like other first-person games your view as a player is exactly that of the character you’re playing, but in a VN’s case it’s like reading a comic book in a choose-your-own-adventure format.

Major/Minor not only fails on both the visual and novel elements, but it also fails when combined as a visual novel.

1) Visual

For the most part, visual novels don’t have a lot of action. They primarily consist of conversations with NPCs and usually take place in static locations. For this reason, both the characters and the environments need to have a lot of personality. Players need to feel like they’re actually having conversations with the characters and that they’ve entered a unique location that sees real use. This is the red, meaty center of how VNs engage and gratify their players.

Designing characters in a visual novel is about more than giving each one a different face; it’s about giving each character enough of a range of actions and emotions to sell the idea that the character is actually interacting with you, and in a way that’s truly unique from every other character. In real life, people do all sorts of crap when speaking: Our expressions change, we gesture with our hands, our posture varies, and sometimes we even have small ticks associated with certain topics or emotions. Between these visual cues and the actual discussions themselves, players ought to know the NPCs well enough to be able to describe them like real-life friends by the end of the game.

This brings us to Major/Minor’s first serious offense: Every character has one face. Typically in a VN, each character has a minimum of half a dozen expressions, poses, and gestures/ticks to match the different emotions they’ll need to exhibit over the course of their conversation topics. The characters in Major/Minor can only make a single expression and pose throughout the entire game, which immediately leads to some seriously disjointed discussions. It’s hard for me to take a character seriously when they say they’re angry with me when the art staring through the computer screen is bright, cheerful, and apparently mid-laugh. Sorry, NPC #672, I really don’t care that you’re allegedly on the brink of tears, because your singular piece of character art is so smarmy and mischievous that I forgot you were trying to tell me something tragic.

What makes this even more annoying is that most of the characters DO have a secondary piece of art, but it’s only ever used ONE time as an introduction to a new character before the game chucks it in the bin and we never see it again. Each character COULD have had at least two expressions if the dev had planned his commissions carefully enough, buuut instead he chose to get two shots that are barely distinguishable from one another so there could be a ~=*FLOURISH*=~ when we see someone for the first time. Granted, two per character still isn’t anywhere near enough, but it’s a hell of a lot better than just one! It makes me wonder why he bothered to spend the money on a second image for each character at all, since half of these commissions only get about 10 seconds of screen time. What a waste.

And hey, speaking of wasted opportunities, let’s talk more about the environments! Lots of visual novels don’t spend much energy on their backgrounds, and although that’s usually fine (albeit not my first preference), Major/Minor seriously needed to think more about its settings. For the moment I’ll ignore the laziness of the fact that the backgrounds are generic photos with a blur filter over them; what’s more important is that this game loves to tell us all kinds of random crap about the rooms we’re in, especially during the scenes that take place in Japan. This game would’ve benefited dearly from simply having more detailed backgrounds and just letting us observe the goings on of the room on our own. Y’know, because that makes it more... visual.

Honestly, if it were me, I would’ve taken it all a step further and gone full-blown Ace Attorney on the environments. In AA games, investigating the scene is very important because you have to look for clues. I’m not saying Major/Minor needed to let you hunt for items, but I do think that it could’ve cut a ton of random information from the text by simply letting us inspect the backgrounds. That way the players that want to know what a kotatsu is can find out on their own time and players that already know or don’t care can move on.

Something else that would’ve brought the game a much-needed boost of interest is cut scenes. As noted earlier, visual novels don’t tend to have a lot of action, so when something physical DOES happen, it makes an impact. One way to maximize that flash of excitement is with a cut scene – or at least, the visual novel equivalent of one. A “cut scene” in a VN isn’t typically a full motion video like most video games boast; it still makes use of a static image, but it’s an image whose quality far surpasses that of the rest of the art in the game. Maybe it’s abnormally large and the camera slowly pans across for dramatic effect, or maybe it’s a scene drawn from an interesting angle that isn’t the player’s POV. Some games take this even farther and really do animate their cut scenes a bit (usually on par with a nice animated gif). Lots of VN cut scenes make use of sound effects or action-specific music cues to keep the player emotionally involved with the scene, as it’s a moment that’s out of the player’s control.

Major/Minor, on the other hand, does none of this. Much like the drought of facial expressions, the game simply pelts you with paragraph after paragraph to tell you about the events taking place around you, rather than simply letting you see for yourself and be, y’know, involved. Even a handful of cut scenes that had some real effort put into them would’ve really given this game some pep. Not only would it have kept me engaged as a player, but it would’ve weeded out even more unnecessary narration.

Oh, and speaking of weeding shit out of the text…

2) Novel

The writing in this game badly, badly needed to be edited. Like, so badly it makes me physically hurt from how poorly this text is constructed. I’m not talking about the simple things like misspellings and failed capitalizations, I mean BIG mistakes, like sentence fragments and improper conjugations and completely misusing some words all together. It’s also excruciatingly repetitive. Never in my life have I ever seen prose that recaps itself so frequently – sometimes literally within minutes of the event that it’s reminding you of. It even recaps itself within the same block of text a few times.

It’s pretty obvious the dev never allowed a seasoned editor to proof the text, but it’s so unbelievably bad that I’m not even sure the dev himself ever gave it a second glance. It reeks of being a first draft that was never once revisited; actually, it strongly reminds me of the sort of stories I myself wrote when I was about 13. At that time I wanted so badly to write big, dramatic stories! Stories that had deep themes and lots of intrigue! With a complicated plot and several subplots!! And lots of characters that would all totally be different and completely matter!!!! But the problem was I was so wrapped up in wanting to make my stories big, impressive epics that I stretched myself way too thin and everything came out incredibly shallow. It’s honestly kind of eerie to think back on the things I wrote as a kid while I play this game. The similarities are so striking that I can’t tell if this is something the dev wrote at that age and just never decided to polish, or if he did write it as an adult but has the writing skill-level of a teenager.

But honestly, I’d overlook all the technical flaws and melodrama this guy could throw at me if he would just show and not tell. “Show, don’t tell” is one of the oldest rules in the book when it comes to storytelling, and for good reason: Telling instead of showing is not only fucking boring, but it treats the reader like an idiot. If a writer knows what they’re doing, they shouldn’t have to tell, because they’d just demonstrate those things instead.

For example, let’s examine another huge flaw with the writing: Incredibly shallow characterizations. Early in the game the player meets a character named Rook. Rook is very rude. I know this because the game tells me. All. The. Time. I legit don’t remember how many times the game has mentioned that Rook is rude at this point. The dev seems completely oblivious to the notion that you don’t have to tell the player these things. You can just… write Rook as being rude. Trust me, my dude, I can figure out if a character is an asshole or not. Not only can Rook’s rudeness be demonstrated by how he treats me as a player, but it can be further reinforced by other characters reacting to him in a put-off manner. If you’re so concerned that I won’t pick up on the fact that Rook is a rude person just based on how he behaves, then you’re doing it wrong, end of discussion.

But then, as I said, the characterizations are shallow in general. Everyone tends to have their one basic trope and the story rests on the idea that you know what the character is. None of the scenes go out of their way to really dig into who someone is – which is kind of amazing, honestly, since the prose is so obsessed with making sure you know the most inane and unrelated shit half the time – and even after I’ve known a character for several chapters they still feel like a cardboard cut-out to me.

To be honest, I’m kind of impressed by the sheer volume of ways that Major/Minor fails at showing instead of telling. It tells you what characters are like instead of just letting you interact with them, it tells you about the places you visit instead of just letting you view them, it tells you every single time the characters have a mood shift or expression change because it couldn’t be bothered to give them each more than one face, and it hamfists unnecessary information into the script where it’s unneeded and interrupts the scene – and THEN, it makes SURE you notice that it’s telling instead of showing by repeating those things over and over and over again!

All of this is further exacerbated, by the way, because the dev has no idea how to tell a story in the first place. Even with all the above flaws, I miiight have still been able to enjoy this game if it was just a compelling narrative in any sense of the word at all. I will happily deal with poor construction and telling-not-showing if the story still has some intrigue. Even a flawed story can have a mind-blowing plot and keep you reading just to find out what happens next, right? I thought so too, until I realized that Major/Minor goes SO far out of its way to spoil its own plot that it frequently makes you sit through scenes that you, the protagonist, are not even present for. Yes, in a game that’s built upon being a first-person experience, the story will slam on the brakes and take you OUT of the protagonist’s shoes to make you sit by as an observer to events that probably would’ve been an great reveal later on had the dev just kept his mouth shut.

3) Visual Novel

So the visuals suck and the writing sucks, but hey, lots of games get by without investing much in those areas. Could Major/Minor pull it together and at least give the player an interesting mechanic? Hahahaha no, of course it didn’t. As far as the gameplay is concerned, Major/Minor is so bad that in many ways I hesitate to even call it a game.

The cornerstone of visual novels is making choices. They can range from serious decisions that determine the overall outcome of the game or small cosmetic details, but either way, the core of this gaming style is putting the player in the driver’s seat as often as possible. When playing Major/Minor, however, the player is strapped into a straight jacket, blindfolded, and tossed into the trunk of the damn car. This game is so reluctant to surrender control of the narrative that it’s not uncommon at all to go through entire sections of the game having made no choices whatsoever. It fails so spectacularly as a visual novel that I’d be willing to bet that the dev had never played one before. He is astonishingly disinterested in what makes a visual novel enjoyable to the player.

There’s a principle in game design called Illusion of Control. The goal of this idea is to allow the player to feel like they’re in charge of the game while actually keeping them within strict boundaries. It applies to a lot of games, but it’s especially important in visual novels. Players need to be able to dictate how the story progresses, even if some of those choices make no real impact on outcomes. For example, players can enter conversation trees with NPCs that seemingly offer a lot of control – perhaps the player chooses the discussion topics, or can decide if they want to be shy or snarky in their replies – and yet at the end of the scene there could realistically be no change to the story’s progress. The greater point is that the player feels like they handled the conversation the way they wanted to. This allows them to still feel like they’ve gotten somewhere and that they accomplished something.

Major/Minor appears to scoff at the very idea of this, like the game’s worried you’ll cramp its style if it gives you too much power.The player is allotted no input whatsoever on how the PC treats the other characters, what subjects to discuss, where they’d like to go, how to react to the actions of other characters… It’s truly mind-blowing just how consistently the game misses opportunities to allow the player even the illusion of control. For example, there’s a scene where the player character (PC) is awakened in the middle of the night by a pounding on the door, and no options are offered on how the player would like to handle this. A better game might allow the player to choose if they want to pretend to keep sleeping, or call out to whomever is knocking, or try escaping out a window, or crack the door open to see what the person wants. Even if it’s an absolute necessity to the plot that this person enters the room, it’s still better to let the player choose, because there are a plethora of ways to redirect each of those options back around toward the character getting in.

Unfortunately, Major/Minor is just too damn lazy to be bothered with gameplay, and the PC just lets the stranger in with no input from the player. Soon after, the stranger attacks the PC, which would again be a prime opportunity for lots of reactionary options: The player could duck! Or the player could punch their assailant! Or maybe they could kick instead! Maybe they’d try to run away or call for help! Buuut no, Major/Minor really doesn’t care what you want YOUR CHARACTER to do, and it’s already decided that you’re going to put up no fight at all and immediately pass out. It’s by far one of the most unsatisfying things I’ve ever experienced in a video game.

The disconnect between the player and the protagonist is so extreme that I honestly don’t feel it’s a fair assessment to refer to the protagonist as the “player character.” It’s not uncommon for visual novel protagonists to speak in the first person, but in most games it feels like the PC is speaking on your behalf because they’re acting according to your will. The protagonist of Major/Minor decides so many things for themself that it stopped feeling like “my” character a very, very long time ago. This character isn’t me and never was; it’s the main character of a book that I didn’t ask to read, who very occasionally pauses to ask my opinion on something.

HEY HOWDY HEY SPEAKING OF PAUSING… If you boot this “game” up for a session, you’d better hope you have plenty of time on your hands to get through it, because you’re at the dev’s mercy for when you can save your progress. Being able to save anytime you want is a staple of visual novels because 1) people read at wildly different paces, and 2) for many people, excessive reading makes them tired. Not only that, but sometimes life just plain gets in the way and you have to pick up and go on short notice. Major/Minor ignores all of these factors and leaves the player relegated to appointed checkpoints throughout the game.

Now, I’m not necessarily saying that checkpoints are inherently bad, but they do need to be used very, very wisely. Any game (VN or otherwise) that doesn’t allow the player to save anytime they want needs to be sure checkpoints are reasonably close from any given location, and furthermore that they’re spaced at regular intervals. As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, however, the dev flushed that idea down the toilet along with what was left of his common sense and parents’ love. Sometimes Major/Minor stacks save points practically back-to-back within the span of a few minutes, and in other cases I’ve literally played for over and hour before the game finally rewarded me with the option to save.

There’s no discernible pattern or technique that I can detect for when save points are bestowed on the player; you’re not even guaranteed an opportunity to save when the game switches chapters! I would say that I can’t fathom why the dev thought this would be a good idea, but let’s not kid ourselves here, it’s clear that the dev never thought this through in the first place. If he had, he might’ve noticed that players being uncertain about whether or not they’ll be able to save their progress discourages them from playing at all.

Also, before I fully move on from the game design, I just wanted to make a brief side note about the music. To be honest, I turned the music off a VERY long time ago, so I don’t even remember what it sounds like; however, I’ve read that all of the music in the game is from the free assets you get in RPG Maker. I’ve further read that the free assets (both audio and visual) were the entire reason the dev decided to use RPG Maker for this game in the first place, in spite of the fact that there are other programs out there specifically geared toward making visual novels. This is worth mentioning because it further highlights just how lazy this entire game is. It’s not a sin to use free program assets – that IS what they’re there for, after all – but when you ONLY use the free assets and then advertise your game on Steam for being sooo creative and original, AND have the gall to charge $20 for it?? Yeah, that’s a gigantic slap in the face.

Speaking of Steam, you’d think a game like this would’ve been weeded out by the gaming community for being the garbage that it is, right? After all, there’s a ranking right at the top of the page showing the proportion of good and bad reviews it’s gotten, and right now it says the feedback is “very positive.” I will say that I do take community feedback into consideration when I’m thinking about a game that I haven’t otherwise heard of before, and my misstep with this game has definitely taught me a valuable lesson. When I saw that the game is ranked “very positive” and I scrolled down to see several glowing reviews, I felt that was sufficient enough research to know if the game was worth my time and money.

However, upon trying out the game and realizing just how badly I’d been deceived, I did a little more digging. As it turns out, the dev is known for flagging negative reviews as “abusive” and getting them deleted, allowing him to effectively filter out the bad press so long as he can make some kind of a case to Steam. This debacle has taught me that it’s not enough to scroll to the bottom of a Steam page for user reviews, as those tend to be the most recent; what you do instead is click the “Read all [x] reviews” link, as those reviews are sorted by popularity. THIS is where you’ll find the reviews that the community has deemed the most helpful and informative, and in this case, it’s like night and day. ALL of the highest-ranked reviews of Major/Minor are negative, and the numbers are staggering. Literally HUNDREDS of people have ranked these terrible reviews as helpful, and most of them are in the 80-90% range on agreement. You have to load more reviews four times to find even one single positive post, and once you do start getting into the positives, the upvotes are significantly fewer.

SO, in conclusion...

I want to say that’s about all I have to give on this subject, but the sad truth is it’s not. I could probably critique this game line-by-line, moment-by-moment, if I really wanted to. Fortunately for my sanity, I really don’t want to. … Not right now, anyway. I’m sure I’ll lose it at some point and decide to go through and count all the missed opportunities in the game or something, but I won’t be doing that right now, thankfully.

So in the vein of others learning from the mistakes of this game: If you were thinking about buying Major/Minor, don’t. If you bought it a while ago during a sale and were thinking about starting to play it, don’t. If you’re interested in making a visual novel and wanted to learn from this game’s mistakes… Well granted there’s a lot to learn about what not to do, but still, don’t give this lazy, deceptive dev any more money. Learn from this guy’s shortcomings based on the feedback of players. Hell, read or watch a Let’s Play if you really want to experience it first-hand. Just please don’t buy and play this game. As a favor to ME, please don’t buy and play this game.

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#sciver #Sallymun plays Major/Minor #I hope you guys enjoy this because it was not easy #if you know someone who's thinking about this game please show them this post #REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE

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