#that girl has no mercy in her soul and will wreck anyone's shit

[milqo]

halley said in an interview there’ll be tension between dina & ellie’s ex-girlfriend kat and i can’t wait to witness this heaven-sent lesbian drama

[spicylove4ever]

Double standars with angels in Netflix’s Lucifer

...and to be honest, this kind of double standars fit in more situations.

So, today, we’re gonna discuss how are people who are “holly”, or at least they think they are, and why are they the one of the least kind people you want to have around. And Lucifer, the tv series, shows it pretty great.

Let’s start with Uriel.

We first met this guy by threatening Chloe’s life. Then it turned out to be all on his own, not by his dad’s commands, so he straight threatened a innocent soul in order to blackmail Lucifer so he could kill his own mother. 

And that’s an angel. It is known too that Uriel is one of the warrior-like among them, but those morals... 

And that’s not even the end of it. Remember the actitude he had with Maze? While Amenadiel was like “those are Lucifer’s minions, who are dark things and corrupt and all that but had their purpose, since they torture the bad ones in hell and at least not beyond reason”, Uriel is straight:

We also have Remiel:

She seemed to be more friendly and kind of listens to her old brother (unlike the Uriel), but let me remind you that this one, even if she didn’t want to kill her to-be-born nephew, she had no second thoughts into killing the mother to kidnap him. And Amenadiel had to be the one to softhen her intentions so Linda wouldn’t get killed, but still had the intention to cut her down to steal the baby when it wasn’t even born (and most likely, be killed in the process, both baby and mother).

She didn’t give any shit for a life of a woman who, as far as she knows, had slept with one of her brothers.

I mean, in this show, we saw demons, who were supposed to be the nastiests among their own kind, to cool down milk for the same baby so it wasn’t too hot, and use basic skills to babysit. 

Azrael is a cinnamon roll, and she is clumpsy with people, but seems like she knows how to deal with humans, so she doesn’t belong to this post. Let’s skip her.

First season Amenadiel:

Let’s see, he had a bit of compassion, and he had polite conversations with humans like Chloe and Linda, but he had no remorse to use any of them as pawns even if they could get hurt (well, just Linda), the Wing’s scam that resulted in a person’s death, and all of that with Malcom Graham.

Well, pretty bad, but he is the one who less complains I have for, since he was the one who put the rule of “No killing humans”, so he’s not the worst. At all.

Aaaaaaand the icing on the cake:

Let’s recall:

Usurped Lucifer’s name because he couldn’t stand he had any tiny positive thing in his life. (childish envy tantrum number 1)

He tried to take over Lucifer’s life because he grow a hot spot for Chloe and had no trouble lying to her.

Straight told Chloe about being a miracle to wreck her heart because she was pissed at him and told him Lucifer was good for her and he was the bad one. (childish tantrum 2)

Used his “worst fear” mojo in Linda to made her be so focused in that so she wouldn’t notice he’s not Lucifer.

Threatened his nephew’s safety.

Manipulated Maze to turn her into his minion so she could watch his back with the other brothers.

Tricked Dan with the crap of “Lucifer is a menace to the world” so Dan would shoot Lucifer and to make him find out Lucifer is the Devil.

There’s a chance he scared at some point Charlie to stress him out (which would be the reason Charlie was crying all the time) so he get a fever. 

HE KIDNAPPED CHLOE AND PUT CRAP IN HER HEAD.

Manipulated Amenadiel’s fatherly fears to be able to beat him down because Amenadiel told him “your worst fear is that Lucifer is still better than you” (childish tantrum 3).

This guy is one of the most popular angels and he gets tons of prayers for protection. He, who gives a fuck about anyone, even his own family, is a compulsive LIAR, and is basically humanity thinks the Devil is. Also, he even said that “I do what I want” (chapter 1 of Season 5, when Amenadiel told him he found out it was him).

Friendly reminder this guy’s name means “He who is like God”.

So, what do we have here, and what these guys have in common? And why, if they are such.... I can’t even find a word  they don’t have the Devil features their brother Lucifer has?

There’s a simple answer: they simply believe they are above everything, that they’re holly.

Allow me to explain why this is something that makes someone dangerous. 

If someone thinks they’re above the others, they won’t find any reason to not use, harm, and do anything to those who find less than them. Think of what you are able to do to an insect.  And, if someone thinks they’re the embodiment of virtue, they’ll believe all they do is right. So, NO MERCY, NOT REGRET, because they’re supposed to not make mistakes; everything they do is right... according to them.

And this happens not just on Lucifer! In Bones, there was this woman who believed (she was in a madhouse) that she was an angel.

(yeah, I used her creppiest stare on purpose)

To sum up what she was, she thought her deed of killing a guy with horns who believed he was a demon (he was just crazy, he was a nice tormented guy who didn’t harm anybody), because, even if he hadn’t done anything wrong, he was a demon and had to be killed, and she saw nothing bad on it. Nothing.

You want another example? Let’s go!

Even if you don’t know who the hell is this, it’s self-explanatory.

Lucifer, on the other side, who believed he was evil, he was someone who cared, who empatised with people, and would protect them.

You can use this for the real life. Beware of those who look sure when say they are “I’m a good boy/girl”.

[sebastianshaw]

Do you have any headcanons about how Haven and Maddie would get along? You mention them both a lot and they seem like they have things in common

OH BOY DO I EVER i happen to love shoving my faves into interaction in my head even if they never met in canon---ESPECIALLY if they never met in canon---and these are my two mega fave ladies! ...coincidentally I was out today on errands and playing Tori Amos (because *of course* I was) and specifically her “American Doll Posse” album, and I was like “GIRL DISAPPEARING and SECRET SPELL have Maddie vibes” (I also listened to KING AND LIONHEART by of Monsters and Men, it’s my fave of theirs, and “As the world comes to an end, I’ll be here to hold your hand” is forever a Haven lyric to me) So massive MASSIVE ramblings under the cut!

Anyway, yes, you’re completely correct, they have a TON in common, both in what actually happened TEXTUALLY to them, and the meta-text of how their stories were handled in very similarly misogynistic ways. Like, they’re both villains through no choice or fault of their own, both the victims of demonic corruption, both exploited specifically for their reproductive capacity (Maddie created literally to have Scott’s baby, Haven’s unborn child used by the Adversary to possess her), and both used to frame female sexuality as evil (Maddie only starts with the skimpy black outfits when she becomes a villain, Haven is a pure and chaste woman who had sex ONCE and as a result becomes demon-pregnant, corrupted, and dies, she’s very much punished for violating purity taboos just ONCE despite all the good she did, while NOTHING HAPPENS to the man who took advantage of her naivete and knocked her up) and both were treated with little sympathy by the story or other characters despite being so very deserving of it. So they’ve got a ton to relate and commiserate on if they ever met and opened up to each other about it, but even if they DIDN’T tell each other about their pasts (which I doubt they would, certainly not at first, it’s not something either is keen to talk about, Haven never told her own beloved brother and Maddie literally KILLS Threnody for throwing it in her face) I think they would get on well. With the understandable exception of Jean Grey, Maddie has NEVER been a jerk to anyone who wasn’t one first (she did go overboard with Threnody, of course...) and Haven, even while a demonically-posessed supervillain, was very calm, composed, polite, and downright kind to the good guys even when they KEPT ATTACKING HER. And to quote the “X-Plain the X-Men” podcast “❝ In this scene, she [Haven] is the one that’s being kind and calm and compassionate, and he [Xavier] is being AN ANGRY JERK. ❞ So, I think they’d get on at first meeting because they’re just both nice people at their default. They’re also both morally good people at their default. Haven’s history is that she’s someone born to extreme wealth and privilege who was driven to use it to help others, she did shit like bathing lepers and caring for dying babies and building children’s hospitals (literally how she got her name in canon, no shit) and even as a supervillain BENT ON DESTROYING THE WORLD OUT OF COMPASSION she STILL does shit like SURRENDERING A FIGHT SO SHE CAN TRY TO HEAL AN *ENEMY* OKAY. And Maddie was just straight-up a superhero even before she had the “super” part going for her, she was one of the X-Men even as a human and even after Scott left her, she had an incredibly strong sense of justice, she did her best at rescuing people in her job as a pilot during crises, she GAVE UP HER LIFE with the rest of the X-Men when Forge needed their life energy for a spell to save the world (she got brought back, they all did, but she didn’t know she was going to be resurrected, she went in knowing she’d die and thinking it would be permanent) and the first time she did get superpowers WASN’T as the demonic Goblyn Queen, but as the healer Anodyne. And you know why her powers specifically took the form of healing? It wasn’t random. The Fire Fountain (from which she and some other humans got these gifts) gave people their powers based on their passions and desires; Maddie’s desire and passion was to help others. So both of these women are extremely moral, healing-types at their core, both in powers and personality, who care about others deeply, even at the expense of themselves. Obviously, Maddie became very morally-grey since in the 90s, but even then she cared about other people first; Sebastian Shaw was never a bad boyfriend in the slightest to her, he was actually her first good relationship, but she left him because he was doing harm to other people, people she didn’t even KNOW, and she wouldn’t be complicit in that even as a bystander. She’s kinda gone full evil in the 2000s but she’s also very much Not Maddie Anymore as of the 2000s, so I just...don’t count that...anyway you see my point! My point being I think they would really come together on helping people, like Haven has the funds (she would probably not have powers anymore if she’s alive, since she’s no longer the host body of the Adversary) and Maddie has the piloting skills and superpowers, they could do a TON of good in the world if they teamed up to do relief work and refugee aid and stuff! I would honestly be really here for that. I really like the idea of them doing good in a way that has nothing to do with superhero adventures and is in no way glamorous or a battle that can be won with powers and punches, but is necessary and worthy all the same. I think they could really get a good working relationship going with this. I think the place they would differ is that Maddie is ANGRY. She’s very angry at what was done to her, she’s very angry at the X-Men, she’s very angry at Jean, she’s very angry at Scott, she’s very angry at Sinister, and she has a RIGHT to be. There is nothing wrong with this. But her anger also isn’t limited to people who harmed HER. Back when Maddie was Maddie and not a walking misogynistic stereotype, she also got BIG MAD at people who did bad things, who hurt others, who oppressed mutants and other minorities, etc. Like, during the story in which we find out about Genosha and how they’re enslaving mutants, Maddie is ready to WRECK ALL THEIR SHIT WITHOUT MERCY using the demonic energy that’s started incubating inside her. And you know what? Good for her. Maddie is the fire of justice and retribution, and if you have done something to deserve it she will FRY YOU IN HELL. Haven is not like that. Again, even when she’s possessed, even when she ostensibly wants to kill the world, even when she’s being steered by an entity of cosmic evil and chaos...she’s still so soft with her “enemies”. Hell, even when she’s come to the conclusion that Xavier must die, she still can’t do it with her own hands and has to just let some other villain out of prison and HOPE he does it, that’s the MOST action she can bring herself to take, and she thinks how “I admire you, Charles Xavier. I respect you. In an odd way, one might say…that I love you. For how can one not love a soul so pure, a heart so full of good intentions? One must love one’s enemy…if one is to slay him with compassion.” And this was AFTER Xavier rammed in his way into her head after she begged him repeatedly to STOP (boy was THAT an uncomfy scene) and she literally unmade herself from existence temporarily (yes, she could do that, and remake herself) in order to get away from him, even though SHE could have just unmade HIM permanently. So, once you take the demon out of the equation, I can only see her as being even MORE pacifistic and forgiving, just the epitome of grace----grace meaning not as in graceful (though I think she’s that too, she’s very elegant) but as in the religious sense of God’s grace, which is mercy where it is undeserved. She’s NEVER going to want to hurt people for their misdeeds like Madelyne does. She wants to comfort the victims, but not attack the victimizers. She’s probably the kind of person who prays for Neo-Nazis. She probably utterly forgives X-Factor and Xavier and the man who got her pregnant. And you know what? I also support that. I support Madelyne’s righteous rage, I support Haven’s all-forgiving compassion and mercy. I think both of these are beautiful. But they WOULD probably make conflict wherein like, Maddie wants to go after some bad guys to avenge the victims, and Haven doesn’t, that kind of thing. And I can see Maddie being angry AT HAVEN for that, and Haven UNDERSTANDING because she’s very understanding but still standing fast in her own beliefs. Haven is at peace with the universe, both its good and its evil. Maddie rages at the Heavens like if Milton wrote a woman. Both are perfect. Also like...I love so much the idea of Maddie being ready to PHYSICALLY FIGHT SOMEONE, no powers, she’s just going to WRECK THEM WITH HER BARE HANDS (trust me, she has a mean punch) and Haven pulling her back. Because Maddie is canonically 5′6 and 110 lbs, she’s not short but she’s VERY skinny (because Marvel likes making all their women borderline underweight; I headcanon Maddie should be more in the 135 lb ballpark) and Haven is a SOLID SIX FEET and has been shown as able to carry around GROWN MEN in her arms, so like Maddie just this feisty lil skinny spitfire ready to MURDER YOU and big mama Haven gently holding her back like an angry lil kitten!! Speaking of physical contrasts I also love how they’re very Tomboy & Girly Girl? Maddy is a pilot, she’s very adventurous and rough and tumble, she’s got cute dresses but she also wears her brown/green flight suit a lot, she’s a goth in the 90s...and then Haven is like, this very well-brought-up polite woman with super-long princess hair and the one time we see her in civilian-wear it’s this GORGEOUS sari with tons of jewelry, they’re just so Queen & Lady Knight, I love it. (It’s not that Maddie is unfeminine, Maddie’s VERY femme, she’s just more versatile and aggressive, whereas Haven is very conventionally hyperfeminine) I think another point they’d have a lot of difference---though not arguement---is sex. Like, Haven still spoke about her one (1) sexual experience with a lot of shame twenty years later, she’s very much a product of a conservative religious culture and while I don’t think she’s the type to slut-shame anyone else, I think she’s now very thoroughly celibate because of her experiences. Whereas Maddie is very much not, like she literally walks into Sebastian Shaw’s bedroom one night and rides that dick because shut up she wants to. While I don’t like the idea of her as this Sexy Evil Succubus that she’s become in the 2000s, I do see her as having a fun, practical, down-to-earth approach to sexuality as something that she enjoys and isn’t ashamed of, while also not being this male fantasy of a femme fatale 24/7. So I can see her commenting on hot guys buff bodies and Haven being embarrass, things like that, maybe Maddie trying to get her a date. Like basically Haven is the Virgin Mary, she’s chastity and motherhood and peace and mercy, and Maddie is Ishtar, the goddess of love AND sex AND war. Another thing about Haven is that she was established as EXTREMELY sensitive to the feelings of others, especially their pain, and that this was NOT a superpower from the Adversary, it’s how she’s always been since childhood. She’s almost psychic, she instantly figures out the personal problems of everyone in X-Factor, from Lorna and Alex’s co-dependence to Guido using humor to mask that he suffers from chronic pain due to his mutation. So while I doubt Maddie opens up to her about her past even when they become friends, Haven can very much feel out that SOMETHING awful happened to this woman. And Haven’s nature as a healer is going to be drawn that, to want to help her, without going too fast or too invasive, without doing anything Madelyne doesn’t want, without forcing anything on her because Haven has had that happen to her and she’s not going to do it to someone else even with good intentions. She’s done ENOUGH wrong with good intentions. And as Madelyne does begin to let her in and let Haven know what happened, Haven in return reveals her own startlingly similar trauma, and I think there’s a mutual healing there in supporting each other. Haven becomes the one shoulder Maddie has to cry on, and Maddie becomes someone who can be angry FOR Haven on her behalf. I see Maddie as probably being protective of Haven, like she has been of other women in the past who were wronged or vulnerable----such as when she was murderously incensed over what Genosha did to Jenny Ransome or when she offered to be Dazzler’s eyes when Dazzler was blinded by a mask magically stuck to her face. And Haven can help Maddie with moving on and owning her own life instead of devoting herself to vengeance anymore, because she loves Maddie and rightly believes Maddie deserves BETTER than that. Honestly, I just...love them both...and want them to be happy and healing...so much...thank you for this ask, I loved talking about them!! ;A;

[codetrainwreck]

Geass Movie Super Ultimate Final Summary Extra Mega Sugoi Version (2/2)

Last time on Code Geass, Lelouch of the Re;surrection: Shesthaal is very cute, Lelouch blows up Shesthaal with Bitool’s Sakuradite, Shesthaal cries out for his father as he gets blown up, and there goes my interest in this movie.

Tbf though, it’s a good death scream. Imagine what kind of noises he makes in bed... he’s def an uke...

Anyway, continuing on.

Lelouch and the gang split from the prison and the container of prison staff he Geassed to help with their getaway is seen being let go. Although it took him 728 days longer to rise from the dead, Jesus Lamperouge has learned mercy.

Back in the capital at Shamna’s temple, Shesthaal’s dad, Cmdr. Forgnar, comes in and goes, “Holy shit my son died let’s go FUCK UP THE UFN” and Shamna is like, “No, let’s not.” Whether you think he actually cares or whether he wants to use this as an excuse to fuck up the UFN is up to you. However, based on the dialogue about how Cornelia is a curse word in this region, and how Forgnar doesn’t talk about his son like ever again (even other characters who aren’t even from Zilkhstan bring up Shesthaal’s “disappearance” later), it comes off as more like... Forgnar just wants an excuse to go fight Cornelia.

She asks Bitool how long ago Shesthaal died and Bitool replies it was in the afternoon, at 11am. Since it’s out of the 6 hour time limit (we’ll come back to this later), she apparently can’t do shit. Shamna says that with her prophecy, even if they’re Geass users, they can beat anyone. It shows Nunnally on the ceiling in some kind of tank. And also she has new clothing but isn’t wearing underwear because in Zilkh culture, they don’t wear underwear. This might read like a joke sentence, but it’s a 100% serious sentence.

At the UFN HQ, Schneizel is wearing glasses and looks hot. That’s all you need to know. There’s also a convo related to the plot and sending people and supplies to Zilkhstan including Lancelot’s new fortress frame coat, but I’m just gonna explain this in the next bit.

Back to the Good Guys, Sayoko observes some drop ships. Cornelia, who is now a general in the UFN (which makes her a Black Knight) has shown up with a small team of Black Knights and a Rag Tag Band from the TV series - herself, Guilford, Ohgi, Tamaki, Cecile, Nina, Anya, Jeremiah. The 8 of them, combined with Lelouch, CC, Kallen, Suzaku, Lloyd and Sayoko, plus Cornelia’s BKs, are going to save the fuck out of Nunnally.

Now, you might be asking yourself, “Why these specific people?” HMM WELL YOU SEE. None of them, aside from Cornelia and her few soldiers, are actually BKs anymore. Kallen is only a reserve member as she’s attending university. Basically, Schneizel can’t formally be like, “Wow send 1000 people to rescue Nunnally and mobilize the Black Knights” which is why he’s sending people who are mostly not involved with the Black Knights on this SUPER SECRET MISSION. (They talk about this back when CC first meets up with Kallen/Sayoko/Lloyd.)

And you might also be asking yourself... “Wait, what about Tohdoh, Gino, Xingke”, etc. What about those other Black Knights? HMM WELL YOU SEE. Xingke died, and the rest aren’t very popular characters, so plot-wise they stuck with the Black Knights giving the story and animators excuses to not include them in the main plot except for something really brief later.

Anyway, Lelouch has taken up the Zero costume again while CC is upset they haven’t run away to fuck like rabbits yet so she drinks a martini. And Cornelia is the only person with a brain, so she is like, “Dude, what the fuck? Am I supposed to be OK with this while Euphy and Darlton are dead?” Everyone else is like down to help Lelouch and Cornelia is not having this shit. Lelouch convinces her by taking off his Zero mask and sincerely asking his older sister for help.

Cornelia is like, “Hell yeah we’re gonna save Nunnally” after this but first since no one has seen each other in a while, they need to party first. Kallen and CC have some girl time finally but then proceed to fail the Bechdel test and talk about Lelouch.

Ohgi gives Lelouch a USB drive from Kaguya then tries to kill himself even though he has a wife and a child at home. Lelouch, without turning around, knows Ohgi is trying to kill himself so he forgives him and say it’s okay because he is merciful Jesus now. It’s chilly at night in the desert and Cornelia’s outfit is like sleeveless and zettai ryoiki so she’s walking around in the Zero jacket and gives Suzaku a drink.

Honestly, just let Cornelia be Zero.

Lelouch signals Suzaku up to the water tower, where they talk about how Lelouch understands the plot regarding his resurrection as well as the viewer (as in he doesn’t) and as far as he knows he could roll over and die at any time. Then an extremely misplaced Ali Project insert song plays while Lelouch watches a video from Ohgi’s wedding with lots of characters conveniently gathered at once... one of which happens to be Nunnally.

Also, Cornelia’s tits are one of the most well-drawn things in this movie next to Shesthaal’s hair when he’s in the cockpit. Honestly, I appreciate you, Sunrise.

SO, keikaku time. Instead of trying to explain this chronologically, I’m just gonna explain it... not chronologically.

Shamna’s Geass is to send her memories back in time 6 hours when she dies, so she effectively knows what’s going to happen and Zilkhstan can prepare for it. In an interview, Lelouch’s VA Fukujun compares this to “uploading her memory to Cs’ World and then downloading it” since Cs’ World has no concept of time. So, basically, the reason why Zilkhstan has been successful is because Shamna is fucking save scumming.

It is implied she already reset time at least once in the movie by now. The first is that at the start of the movie, Shalio remarks about how Zero moved to the place that Shamna said he would, so Shalio and the other KMFs are able to set up a trap under Suzaku in advance. I don’t know why she can’t chain this 6hrs -> back another 6hrs.

Lelouch and co initiate their plan. Lelouch successfully outmaneuvers Zilkhstan at every single place possible: Suzaku and Kallen are on the flats in Strike Freedom and Infinite Justice and wipe out all of the mooks. Everyone else is also able to make it to their destination. Zilkh soldiers have been Geassed to blow up their bases, Bitool can’t make it to his Guard Scorpion mech, etc.

Finally, Lelouch rides up to Shamna’s temple on the Mahoraba (the one Suzaku didn’t wreck at the start of the movie). Shamna goads Lelouch by hitting a button that auto-kills Nunnally in her tank. Lelouch responds by gunning Shamna down immediately. Shamna sends her memories back in time 6 hours.

Shamna is bathing with Shalio when she has a “prophecy”. We see she has a Code on her lower belly in this scene. She calls up Forgnar and explains the plot to him. This time around, Zilkhstan is prepared for all of Lelouch’s bullshit. Lelouch starts to despair and is almost shot down in the Mahoroba when Anya and CC show up and rescue his dumb noodle ass. Lelouch and CC co-pilot the Gekkoei. Lelouch has an existential crisis as he freaks out about his plans not working while everyone around him also freaks out about the plan not working and asks him for further instructions. And I mean like, literally everyone except for uhmm Cornelia? I think?

There’s a scene in R2 where Suzaku debuts the Lancelot Albion. Bismarck is there in Galahad and uses his Geass to fight Suzaku. Lelouch then rings up Suzaku and goes, “Dude, this being broadcasted worldwide, don’t fucking embarrass me”. Suzaku then goes on to use his live Geass to somehow overpower the Knight of One.

If this were a scene in the movie, it would be like, the Knight of One dodges one of Suzaku’s attacks or something and then Suzaku freaks the fuck out and goes, “OH NO, THE KNIGHT OF ONE HAS A GEASS. LELOUCH, WHAT DO I DO? MICROMANAGE ME AND GIVE ME SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS.” That is honestly what this whole sequence feels like.

Eventually, CC puts a gun to his head, out edgelords him, and convinces him to get his shit together. Lelouch gives her orders to give to everyone else because Geass doesn’t work on her. Thanks to Tamaki’s stupidity, he then uses the Zilkh public channel to declare that it’s time for the final phase of this mission. Suddenly, everyone becomes competent again and CC starts issuing commands to people. CC asks him what “final” means, and Lelouch replies it means nothing.

We then go through 30(?) implied time resets. While it doesn’t show time resetting literally 30 some times, it is implied that Lelouch gets 1 plan to work, then Shamna resets time and is ready for his new plan next time. We know it’s 30-ish because Lelouch has 8 folder plans he gives to CC, and also has 22 theories about what the enemy Geass user’s Geass is and he goes down the list eliminating them.

Something that I think English viewers missed from the American theater screenings is that CC does not retain their memories because Shamna’s Geass only affects herself. So, essentially, from Lelouch’s POV, he’s just going down the list until something works. From Shamna’s POV, she goes back and prepares to counter him every time she sees his next move.

On the last loop, Lelouch’s last ditch effort to figure out Shamna’s Geass is to bluff her by saying, “I have the same Geass as you”. Shamna freaks the fuck out and tells her guards not to kill Lelouch. Lelouch can tell from this reaction what her Geass is, so he Geasses her to sleep, and also sets a bomb that will go off in 10-11-12-whatever hours. (E.g. even if Shamna resets time, she’ll be back in time but it’ll be when she’s sleeping.)

Lelouch and CC try to wake Nunnally but she isn’t responsive. CC deduces that her soul/KOKORO/whatever is not in her body. However, they set Shamna’s temple to blow up in [X] hours. Lelouch and CC use Shamna’s system to enter the metaphysical world. CC goes to confirm something, then she will leave to move their bodies so they don’t die IRL.

CC confronts Shamna and learns the plot: “I want to remake the world.” Recall that in R2, Marianne and Charles needed 2 Codes to fuck Cs’ World. Shamna has 1 Code on her womb. Charles is dead, she doesn’t know Lelouch has one. Seemingly, she tried to use Nunnally has a make shift second Code due to her connection to the magic world cause of her family. (Her “wavelengths” are the same as Charles’s.)

Ah, yes, an older sibling with a Geass who has a younger wheelchair bound sibling tries to fuck the whole world. Hmm NEVER HEARD THAT PLOT BEFORE. Shamna wishes to stay in the metaphysical realm so she can see Shalio as he passes by. CC warns her not to “leave her [heart/essence/whatever] behind”. Interpretation is that CC is saying, “Can you please not fuck this up like how Charles did” [by leaving himself behind].

In the real world, CC, Tamaki and Ohgi have moved Lelouch and Nunnally’s bodies away from the temple. Lelouch finds Nunnally. The two get swallowed by black particle bullshit until Lelouch confesses that Geass is his sin (or something... I don’t actually remember what he says before the “uhh this is my sin” part). After, rainbow fucking magic hands appear to “catch” them, and Lelouch remarks that these are the people who helped earlier. (Earlier as in, when CC reached for Lelouch.)

The sub-plots that occur during all of these time resets are as follows:

Ohgi and Tamaki steal a KMF by distracting the pilot with camels crossing the road then getting on top of the KMF and beating the pilot up. Then they make hot pot while waiting for orders from Zero.

Sayoko ditches Ohgi and Tamaki to meet up with the science crew who can’t escape the city because Qujappat is after them. Cecile gets shot during the skirmish (all 30 fucking times) and Nina kills Qujappat by disconnecting her KMF’s energy filler power lines and dropping them in water to electrocute him and the other assassins to death.

Gino and Tohdoh (and others) are trying to talk to Zilkhstan official politic-y people about the Nunnally and Zero being MIA thing as members of the Black Knights. Gino asks to know why Zilkhstan’s Official Elite Bodyguard Captain Something Something Rich Pretty Boy PR Person Shesthaal is mysteriously missing from this meeting as he was supposed to be there. Milly, who is watching events unfold at the TV station, also asks about where he went.

Suzaku fights Shalio with his new Lancelot (ugly as) siN and its thicc frame coat. Shalio beats him in the frame coat. Suzaku purges the frame coat and then beats Shalio. However, by this point, Shalio’s body is seemingly at its limit (he’s bleeding out of his eyes), and honestly it feels like a free kill. At one point, Suzaku asks Shalio, “Why the fuck did you ruin peace etc” and Shalio replies that he has to be the ultimate warrior (implied: for his sister) so he can’t do this hand-holding peace shit and his country has nothing but fighting.

Kallen gets trapped by Bitool’s guard scorpion mech in the Guren Special Type (also thicc). She purges the frame coat and magical warp speed jumps out of the energy sphere she’s trapped in, then blows up Bitool with her good ole laser knife.

Cornelia and Guilford are on the bridge. Cornelia fights Forgnar, who then tries to sacrifice himself and orders his troops to kill both him and Cornelia. Cornelia encourages him to find a peaceful solution.

After all of this bullshit resolves, Shamna’s temple blows up and we see a visual representation of her being exploded inside of the Thought Elevator where CC last saw her. In the real world, Lelouch and Nunnally chat about being together again. The scene between them ends without you hearing his response to her. CC skips town, but not before Kallen gives CC her bootleg Cheese mascot.

Lelouch catches up to CC (out of breath, ofc). CC says something about going to find other Geass users like Shamna (I don’t remember the exact details cause Shesthaal has nothing to do w/this scene, sorry). Lelouch goes with her, taking up the name LL to match CC’s non-human name. CC pauses, then blushes and makes a moe anime waifu noise.

However, it is nowhere near as cute as Shesthaal’s “umu” or when he asks where Zero is in the prison (”Zerooooo?”). Lmao fucking get rekt CC he’s cuter than you and also has long green hair.

In the post-credits scene, Lelouch and CC have clothes from a 2000s Hot Topic - CLAMP-looking black gothic outfits. Something that like... no one has mentioned so far is that Lelouch is wearing a rose choker that matches Shirley’s rose earrings from the ending cards. Shirley also showed up in a mall earlier in the movie. Shirley... was shopping at Hot Topic for Lelouch and CC and bought herself earrings while she was there? Idk.

Lelouch recites the same Power of the King speech that CC gave him in the first episode of the anime, but with a couple differences. He says the power MAY isolate you, not that it will, and also that if you suck at Geass, he’ll take it away from you.

~ ThE eNd ~

OKAY YEAH SO I didn’t really enjoy this movie a lot. You have about 5 seconds to mourn Shesthaal before Daddy Schneizel shows up in glasses. It’s like you’re eating a cute little salad and you’re not done when your entree shows up. (Your entree. In glasses. And looking hot and appetizing as fuck.)

Pretty boy stuff aside, my opinion is generally that the main plot stuff is a bunch of “whatever” but the smaller stuff is good. Like... Tamaki and Ohgi making hot pot in a KMF after knocking out the pilot by distracting them with camels crossing the road (semi-foreshadowed earlier when Tamaki and Ohgi were hiding out near some sleeping camels) was some pretty great character interaction that actually led up to Lelouch’s, “Yo, final phase” speech on the open channel.

Shalio knowing that Suzaku is Zero BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING SPINKICK was pretty great too. There are lots of small things that have nothing to do with Lelouch and CC that I found way more memorable and Code Geass-y. Even just reading interviews is fun - Nobbu is a good VA and there’s an interview where he’s like, “Taniguchi told me, ‘Your dad is Akio Ohtsuka’ and I instantly understood”... lol...

The stuff with, “Everyone is useless, good thing Lelouch is here” was kind of physically painful to watch. From a thematic POV, we see the compare/contrast - Nunnally able to live without Lelouch but Shalio unable to do the same without Shamna. And also with how Zilkhstan are a bunch of headless chickens without Shamna micromanaging them with her prophecies yet all of the old TV cast magically become competent again after Lelouch says their plan is now entering the final phase.

E.g. we see how a ~decorated war hero~ like Cmdr. Forgner was also reliant on her explaining the plot (maybe it’s for the best poor Shesthaal died before finding out everything about his dad and his country were big fucking shams ;_;). However, just because I understand why it’s in the movie doesn’t mean I have to like it. ‘_>’

It was like watching uh, idk, Advent Children or Nadesico: Prince of Darkness or something. Which was also about the expectation level for this movie, but I actually felt fatigue kick in around the 1hr 20min mark...

[thefanficmistress]

Guy of Gisborne 30 Day Writing Challenge : Day 5 Part One

♔ GUY AND THE LADY ELENA V ♔

READ IN THIS ORDER : Day 5 Part One - Then Day 6 - Then Day 5 Part two

Taglist : Let me know if you would like to be tagged ^_^

@deepestfirefun @armitageadoration @shikin83 @patanghill17 @princecami @sassytyphoondetective @xxbyimm @nowiloveandwilllove

Pairing : Guy & Elena

Author’s notes :So I did something a little different and it was a bit challenging for me, which is why it took time. The prompts from both of these days, played well with the idea I had so I had to combine them in a tricky way.

I really hope you guys this. Feedback totally welcomed.

Prompt 1 :

“You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You take my coffee, let God have mercy on your soul.” “I never joke about my morning coffee, I take it very seriously.” “I want to marry you! That’s what I’m trying to say!” “Look at all the candles… is there something on your mind, sweet heart?” ***

Part One:

GUY

Guy was still holding Collette in his arms when a knock came from downstairs. Collette tapped him on the hand and he released her.

“Are you expecting anyone?” She asked, straightening her garb, and running her fingers through her hair a few times, she made her way to the door.

“Not in particular, unless.” he paused thinking for a moment. His brow rose, and he said “Perhaps Penelope? For her training.”

“Ah that sweet girl. Kind of you to take her under your wing. She will make a great knight, if they permit it.” She walked out of his bedroom and down the hall.

“I agree.” Guy confessed with a smile.

Penelope was a 10-year-old girl who lived in an Orphanage and took a liken to Guy after he protected her from being ran over by another nobleman’s carriage. He didn’t want her making a big thing out of it but she followed him back home. She looked at him with stars in her eyes. He didn’t want her to. He wasn’t as pure and heavenly, the standards from which she held him. He yelled at her to leave for, but she sat outside of his manor for 4 days. When Guy finally decided to let her in for food and drink, he asked her what she wanted.

Her reply. “A family would be nice, but I would like to be a noble Knight like you!” She answered back as she stuffed buttered bread, and chicken in her mouth. She was hunched over with a large blanket over her head, covering most of her body, the warm fire heating ice in her veins. She was a bold and stubborn girl, so Guy agreed to train her. Most days she showed up early in the morning, and other times, at night, depending on if she could sneak away from the Orphanage.  

Another knock sounded upstairs. “Yes! Yes! Coming!” Collette call out.

Guy picked his Black doublet and pulled it on over his black knitted top. After adjusting the sleeves, he fasted the doublet shut with the leather straps that crossed his chest. It fit him perfectly. For his build, it showed off the mass of his body type which the women in town seemed to like. He finished by adjusting his black tight pants, with had a hint of a pinstriped pattern to them and slipping his feet into his leather boots. Before clearing his room, he gripped his belts, dagger, and sword, and strapped them to his hips. The belt hung low on one side, due to the weight of his weapons.

Making his way down the hall, he heard the faint voice of another woman speaking to Collette. An excitement rose in his chest as his mind drifted to Elena. Was it her? Did she come to see him first thing to tell him off about kissing her? Or well, not kissing her? He would enjoy the scolding either way. Just to hear her voice, and see those lips move as she fussed at him would turn him on. He liked that about her. He may be able to shut her up for a moment, but once she gave way and found her voice, there was no turning back. He was waiting and very willing to see what she had in store for him.

Quickening his pace, he reached the top of the wooden stairs. He rushed down them quickly, so he may see his beloved.

“Hello Guy.” A familiar female voice said.

Guy stopped in in tracks, his eyes narrowed, his brow pushed together. The door was still opened and created a golden halo around the chocolate colored curls of the blue eyed maiden before him. Her hands closed together over her abdomen. She was smiling at him.  

“Marian?”

“I’m glad your awake. I was worried that you were still asleep. I heard of the late-night brawl at the Tavern and you had to break it up. “She took a step closer inside.

“Yes.” He said coolly.

“I’ve been hesitant to come see you since, well, since the last time we actually spoke. “She gestured with her hands and smiled. She slowly strolled to the right, admirer the books on the wall.

He remained silent for a moment and then said. “I needed space and time.”

I miss our friendship, your company. I hope time has healed --. “She paused, and then continued “I can’t sleep or concentrate without— Never mind.” She chuckled and broke off, her fingers trailing along the spine of old books on the bookshelf to the right of the door.

“No, tell me what you were going to say.”

“Nothing interesting,” she said, now pulling out the books by the spine, tipping them slightly to read the fronts of them. One of them read I ‘never joke about my morning coffee, I take it very seriously.’ And the 2nd edition ‘You take my coffee, let God have mercy on your soul’.

“Clearly it’s something important to you or you wouldn’t have brought it up.” He walked over to face her, placing his hand on the book she pulled out. He pushed it back in and kept his hand there preventing her from touching anything else. “Now speak your mind.”

They were so close. Guy remembered how nervous and excited he was to be this close to her. Her perfume was still the same, her smile, her glittering eyes. He felt the prickling sensation of memories, and feelings flooding back to him. The flashes of given kisses, lingering glances, and stolen moments. Then her confession of love for Robin brought the abrupt ending to his reminiscing. He took in a breath slowly and released it. Frustration plagued him.  

She eyed him, searching for something on his face. She opened her mouth to say something and then stopped. Then started again. “I miss you. I can’t stop thinking of you.”

Guy said nothing. His face revealed nothing. He heard steps from behind him as Collette, and two-house servants walked up. All of them wearing faded blue cloaks and holding wicker baskets.

“Off to Market m’lord. “Collette said.

Guy reached into his doublet and pulled out an aged brown folded piece of parchment. It was sealed with a red wax seal with a “G” with a bird. His new house seal.

“See to it that this is delivered immediately.” Guy said placing it in her hands.

“Of course.” Collette complied, as her fingers closed around it. She placed it in the basket, pulled the hood over her head, and clicked her tongue to single the other servants to follow her. The last servant closed the door behind her as she left.  

“Does that not make you happy?” She reached out and placed her delicate right hand on his left one that still rested on the spine of the books between them. Her eyes lingered on his fingers, she stroked them with her own, and then looked back at him.

Guy remained still.God her touch was killing him. For so long he wanted her to touch him like this. “Don’t ask such stupid questions.” He said sourly.

“Which means?” She frowned, fighting the chill that she must have felt from his cold words “Has the time not healed your heart? Maybe not fully but enough to forgive my – “

“And why is that important?” he interrupted.

He never argued with her like this before, but his words packed a powerful blow. Carefully spoken, without drama, his words had an air of finality to them and no matter how hard Marian railed against them, nothing would change his mind. She had some nerve to come back to him. What made her think that this would work. Yes, it had worked the countless other times when he was hunting Robin and the Night Watchmen, even after finding out she was the Night watchmen, and that she loved Robin. He decided to step away for him If she wanted Robin, she could have him.

Returning to England, he was a wreck. A mindless drunk. It was as if she died, and he mourned her. The Sheriff treated him like shit at that point. Then Kind John set them against each other. He thought he killed him, but he didn’t. His entire time in Nottingham had brought such stress and unhappiness he always wondered why he even bothered to stay. But some part of him said it was because of Marian. The other, because it was him home.

Marian stood before him, her face was, was once the one he wanted to touch, and kiss. Now he couldn’t stand the site of her.

“Guy, I just wanted to talk. I wanted to see you.”

“There is nothing else for us to discuss Marian. You made your decision, so live with it.” Guy voiced firmly.

“Please Guy --” she squeezed his hand.

“Leave Marian.” Guy pulled his hand away from the 

She broke his heart, trust and confidence, and he didn’t spend the past 2 years avoiding her when he returned to Nottingham. She avoided him too at one point, and he wasn’t sure what caused her to change. He and Robin found out they had a brother, and their relationship took time to build, to accept each other for their flaws and accomplishments. However, when Robin wanted to talk about Marian, guy would change the subject. He didn’t want to discuss her and made it clear to Robin that she was all his. He was done. Finally done.

She on the other hand, may need more time to accept that.

End of Part 1 of Gisborne and The Lady Elena V

[peach-punch-satan]

[inexorcble]

@beanrp

our parents are forcing us into an arranged marriage and we hate each other but now i’m in love with you and i don’t think it’s mutual

but i really want an au where muse a is an ER nurse straight out of nursing school who’d only been working at the hospital for a month so she’s the young new girl who is still trying to get the hang of things. she’s super shy and reserved and lives on her own in the city because she moved out of her parents house when she went to school because they didn’t agree with the career path she was taking. muse b is a rookie firefighter who just joined his new crew a few months ago so he’s obviously the new guy at his job, too. he’s very outgoing and could make friend’s with anyone at the drop of a hat. one day muse b’s crew gets called out on a big fire and something kinda goes wrong so him and a few other fire fighters get hurt so they have to go to the ER where muse a works and she ends up working on muse b who just got a small burn on his arm that’s easily fixed, but he tries to flirt with her but she’s all shy and all cute and blushing but she’s trying to be professional and he’s just determined to ask her out, so over the new few weeks he keeps coming back to ER with the most stupid and dumb excuses (‘oh i got burned again’ or ‘oh i took a really bad fall’ idk shit like that okAY) just so he can see her and try to ask her out and eventually she says yes anD JUST REALLY CUTE AND FLUFFY PLEASE come to me for this plot i will sell my soul foR THIS

please an arranged marriage between two socilaite families/ big names in their city. but like she’s still stuck in the party stage and fucking up because she’s upset with her parents or unhappy with her life and he’s dealing with a lot of pressure and stress from his family to take over the family bussiness and it’s just two polar opposites but it could be super cute sometimes when she gets super drunk and he picks her up and hold her hair back when he throws up and stays up to give her a glass of water and make sure she sleeps well even though he has a huge meeting in the morning that he should be resting for. but also the angST and the fights and the ‘i didnt ask for this’ and making each other jealous and sexual tension and fCUK PLS

ok but a plot where muse a is the leader/part of this really dangerous and famous gang and almost everyone knows who muse a is, the horrible things they have done, how skilled they are at whatever weapon they like the most, how they have no mercy and will either kill you in matters of seconds or torture you until you’re begging for death. they’re cold, they’re calculating, rumor has it they lack a heart and soul,, but then, THEN, there’s muse b; pure, innocent, maybe shy and awkward ( or not, up to u?? ) personality is cute as fuck, a marshmallow that needs to be protected, and well, muse a really wants to protect them in the moment their eyes land on muse b, even if they don’t know them at all because ‘dude they look so fucking fragile someone is going to hurt them wtf the fuck’. and one day, after days ( or weeks ) of muse a admiring muse b from afar they decide to approach them someway somehow, and poor muse b is clueless abt who muse a really is at first. this could be so angsty and fluffy and just !!!!! i Want

muse a and muse b are randoms who get stuck in an elevator. muse a is a grumpy shit and muse b is a nervous wreck but when they start going into a panic attack, muse a tries to calm muse b down with everything that they can think of. when all fails, muse a kisses muse b and the kiss is off guard but it helps because it confuses muse b so much so there’s angst and tension and ‘why did you kiss me?’ ‘you kissed me back?’ ‘yeah but.. wow your lips are soft’ ‘and ur a good kisser’ they make out some more and it can be smut and the the elevator doors open and they both go the same way. muse a says they’re late to a possible hire interview, muse b is like ‘i have an interview too’ and you can guess that muse b turns out to be the one muse a is interviewing and muse a is all ‘hiring means i can see you again’ and it’s cliche but who cares

[james-senpai]

On Gency

Okay, because some people have issues with Gency, I thought I’d compile a lil list of arguments that I find against Gency and why I think they’re bullshit. Disclaimer; The ship isn’t canon yet, this is refering to fan complaints, and everything below is my own interpretation of the current lore and character dynamics between the two. This is not a case FOR Gency, rather just debunking some of the toxic shit I’ve seen thrown at it. (long post incoming) TL;DR: if you have another opinion, you’re free to have it. Just try to stay on topic and don’t drag anything into it that doesn’t belong (’homophobia in OW’, current real world issues, that kinda shit) Oh, also I’m going to overlook the “It’s a het ship, so it’s boring” argument, because while I’ve seen it enough to tear y’all a new one over it, I’mma let it slide because that would be too easy to destroy (but I’ll get to that later) 1. Gency is abusive  Nowhere cited or stated. The largest asspull I’ve seen. Don’t have much to say about it since the people I’ve noticed who use this excuse can’t provide any other reason than this simple phrase. 2. Genji didn’t consent to what Mercy did to him This is like getting in a car wreck, going to a doctor, them saving your life, and then turning around and yelling at them for doing their job. Genji was injured, Overwatch picked him up, Mercy as chief medic of OW saved him, as per her job description. Genji probably didn’t want to die there either. He was a playboy at the time, so I imagine that that moment was one of clarity for him, realizing that he never truly lived for anything worthwhile and if being brought back as a part-cyborg would enable him to do so, then he’d do it. 3. OW used Genji to attack his family Again, nowhere stated or implied. It’s stated that Genji used his abilities to dismantle his family’s criminal empire, but never that Genji went on a vendetta against his family. Genji’s no idiot and was probably well aware of the things his family was doing to ensure that he lived the playboy lifestyle he enjoyed for most of his life, but never really cared until they turned against him. After being saved from death, logic would dictate that he’d have some resentment against his family for the criminal shit they were pulling and would’ve gone after them anyway even if working for OW wasn’t a part of the deal. 4. Genji hated his body, and therefore hated Mercy Another asspull and something people try to use to demonize Mercy. Genji’s hatred of himself stems from that: HIMSELF. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen anyone who’s disabled to the point of losing a part of themselves, but it really takes a toll on one’s mental state, self-worth, self-image and esteem. The stress of losing his ENTIRE body coupled with the betrayal of his family more than likely left him disillusioned with the world and his place in it. And as common for men, he found peace in something greater than himself. It’s why he’s so willing to write Mercy and keep touch with her through writing. After he has found peace with himself, he realizes how grateful he is to Mercy for saving him and giving him a chance to live for something greater than himself. Even without canon romantics, it’s genuinely touching to see one character grateful for what they once took for granted and were repulsed at. 5. Mercy had no say in saving Genji Mercy’s designation is the chief medical doctor of Overwatch. Last time I checked, a doctor’s JOB is to SAVE LIVES. Angela strikes me as the kind of person who does what she does, not out of obligation, but because she wants to save lives and make the world a better place. Even if you want to go with the excuse that OW MADE her save him, odds are she would’ve done it anyway because that’s who she is. 6. Mercy turned Genji into a killing machine Genji was ALREADY a trained ninja, so also bullshit. While he did indulge in a frivolous lifestyle, he was still able to contend with Hanzo and fight him off to the point where it wasn’t a one-sided slaughter. The fact that Genji lived AT ALL after their fight is proof of his abilities and skill. The cybernetic makeover they gave him had the primary purpose of saving his life, but because they are naturally more efficient than human limbs, they inadvertently BOOSTED his already stupidly skilled body even beyond what he could do before. TL;DR, the cybernetics didn’t suddenly make him a ‘killing machine’, Genji did. also he’s not a ‘machine’, as he still retains morality and free will. 7. Mercy is evil and a white savior The evil part has already been debunked by the creators, but the ‘White Savior’ bit is really confusing to me. She’s a doctor, so her job is to literally SAVE LIVES. LIKE I HATE TO BREAK FLOW HERE, READER, BUT WHERE THE HELL DID THIS EVEN COME FROM? THE BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES?? SHE’S SWEDISH! LIKE ????? Worst asspull and people just resorting to spitting insults at a character. 8. Genji is a self-insert OC so the writer can live out his dreams of fucking Mercy Yeah, because as if implying that an Asian writer wants to plow his character ISN’T racist. ok. Every character that has ever existed is an OC. And honestly, this is one of the most disgusting pulls I have seen to come out of some people’s mouths. Think before you speak, like damn... 9. The writer is homophobic and favors a straight ship over LGBT representation He’s also the guy responsible for making the comic that revealed OW’s flagship character as gay. I’m not surprised that you missed it though because, while everyone else was celebrating this fact, y’all were complaining about Genji and Mercy writing one another. While he might enjoy the ship, he has also gone on record saying that people should enjoy what they love, regardless of canon. 10. Mercy has a savior complex Side note, but I find it funny how people will say stuff like this and then turn around and ship Mercy with anyone else. Like that makes it better... Again, DOCTOR, SAVES LIVES, HELPS PEOPLE. She doesn’t do what she does out of obligation, otherwise she wouldn’t even be active after OW disbanded, but because she genuinely cares about the good of others, even to the point of disagreeing with OW from time to time and helping those afflicted by war.

11. The patient/doctor relationship is weird and gross Newsflash! EVERYONE who has actively served in OW has at some point been Mercy’s patient. So if you go by that logic, you can no longer ship her with ANYONE in the game who has ties to OW.

12. It’s a poorly-written ship Of course it’s going to be poorly written when it isn’t even CANON yet. Look, bottom line is all we have right now for them that’s concrete is canon story connections, sweet fluff in game and out of game, and voicelines that tie into those story ties. No canon comic dedicated to them, no animated short. At the end of the day, that’s what people are sending death threats over: canon fluff and connections. 13. It’s a boring ship This one bugs me and it’s probably where I’m going to close with. I’ve seen this the most, even without the ‘het’ label (because bi, pans, demi people TOTALLY don’t exist yeah?) but that it’s ‘boring’. This, at the end of the day, is an opinion, but a very unfair one.  ANY PAIRING CAN BE BORING. ANY RELATIONSHIP CAN BE BORING, EVEN GAY ONES. WHAT MAKES A PAIRING INTERESTING, A RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC, AND CHARACTERS INTERESTING ARE THE WAYS IN WHICH A PAIRING IS HANDLED, A RELATIONSHIP FLESHED OUT, AND CHARACTERS DEFINED, ALL OF WHICH OW’S CAST OF CHARACTERS ARE DESPITE NOT HAVING DEDICATED COMICS AND SHORTS TO EVERYONE. They have likes, dislikes, dynamics and themes, stories and agendas, motivations and convictions, and small bits and pieces in between. All of which makes them engaging and interesting characters that we as the audience WANT to learn more about. We WANT to see Lucio get a short because he’s a great and lovable character with a cause that he’s fighting for. We WANT a McCree short because of his past, his convictions in his time with Blackwatch, and want to see what he’s going to do next. And we LOVED the Reflections comic because, for the first time that I can remember, we saw Tracer get revealed as gay and it DIDN’T remove from her being a bad-ass, wise cracking adventurer who believes that the world could always use more heroes. What I’m getting at is if you think ship X is boring, then it tells me two things about you. Either 1.) You haven’t looked hard enough or 2.) You haven’t seen what someone who’s GOOD can do Because I have loved ships simply because of the heart and soul fans put into them. I love Symetrat because someone wrote a hella good fic that fleshed out their characters, explored the dynamics between their differences, and presented them, for lack of a better word, flawlessly. I’ve loved the sheer amount of sweetness in the art I’ve seen in the Pharmercy tag and loved the dynamic of McHanzo, two roamers looking for peace in their own way. I even loved Widowtracer, two opposing forces and ideologies, melding, clashing, and learning. And I love Gency because it’s different from the ‘guy saves girl trope’, it EMPOWERS Mercy, gives Genji a turning point in his life, and creates a dynamic friendship between the two characters that, even if it never reaches romantic canon, will always be one of my favorite character dynamics in gaming. I’ve seen it in and out of Overwatch and to several fandoms beyond. We as fans can do some pretty amazing shit when we’re not engaging in ship wars and tearing out the throats of our creators, things that can genuinely touch and impact other people’s lives in new and profound ways, add relateability  to already relatable characters, and flesh out stories and dynamics and relationships even after the official story is over, all while offering a new perspective on characters we already know and love. What I’m getting at, and will close on, is that the ship isn’t boring. You are

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #71

“i know i said, ‘my heart beats for you;’ i was lying, girl, well it beats for two, ‘cuz i’ve got your love, and i’ve got these vices.”

bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? PRECIOUS have you ever died in one of your dreams?  i have. do you believe in demonic possession? how about ghosts? angels?  i believe in all these as a religious person. my own sister knows someone who, supposedly anyway, died in an exorcism. what would you say is your worst flaw? i ALWAYS jump to the worst possible conclusion. if an ex said they hated you, you say? aaron: "i would hate me too if you knew me for only who i was in the 7th grade." juan: "i'm not all that fond of you half the time, either." jason: "your dick sure didn't." do you have a friend whose name begins with 'c'? describe him/her. colleen! she's a leader, she's brave, she's honest, she admits to being rather cold-hearted, but i love her. you've got an unread message on facebook! who do you want it to be from? i always wish it to be jason. what if the person you miss walked into the room right now? i would scream his name, jump out of bed, pull him into it, and hug the fuck out of him. who was the last person you added to your phone's contacts? jax. she gave me her number last night, which made me feel awesome, knowing she trusts me like that. (: do you plan on having children in the future? i do. how many i have depends on how pregnancy/childbirth is and my husband's preference. do you believe that the world will actually end? eventually, inevitably. would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? horror are you good at admitting your problems? very much so. do you know a hoarder? i do. can you do a split? i never could, even when i was a dancer. what would you name your daughter if you had one? alessandra quinn<3 what would you name your son if you had one? i'm beginning to think vincent luther, idk. do you spell the color as grey or gray? "gray." "grey" is the european spelling. do you prefer titanic or the notebook? both are very romantic and beautiful, but "the notebook" if you have a nickname, what is it? just "britt." nothing special. who’s your favorite person in the world? jason. what medical conditions do you have? severe depression, anxiety, ptsd, bpd is heavily in question, essential tremor in hands. how many times have you been to the hospital? four or five times, all for mental reasons. what religion will you raise your children to practice? christianity. how old are you and where are you from? i'm about to be 21 and i'm from north carolina, usa. do you subscribe to beauty channels on youtube? what ones? no, i get enough beauty knowledge from randl when they decide to do some stupid shit on gmm. what do you think of people that do drugs? i feel bad for them. who was the first person you told about your first kiss?  i don't think i told anyone. it just didn't seem necessary. have you ever peed in the woods? i tried to, but i couldn't. what about pooped in the woods? omg no way i never could. would you kill a dog for 1 million dollars? fuck that. had gossip written about you on the bathroom wall? not that i know of. have you ever used a sex toy? no. seen someone get killed\or die in front of you? no, but i saw a biker get hit by a car once. thank GOD he didn't die. have you been to the movies lately? what movie did you see anyways? colleen, chelsea, and i recently went to this run-down movie theater that was hosting a kid's movie for a buck. it was "trolls." we just went for the fun of it, and the movie ended up being extremely cute. have you ever used a muscle stimulator before? did it hurt? no, i haven't. have you ever watched the golden girls? omg i love that show yaaaaas did you ever like the ninja turtles? no. i steer clear of the whole franchise now... jason (as well as his brother) was really, really into them as a kid and for some reason him saying he was 100% raising our kids on it stuck with me. would you rather your daughter look to princesses or female superheroes as role models? she could really look up to either, but if i had my preference, superheroes. the princess stories of the past too commonly make them appear as damsels in distress. meanwhile, the stereotypical female superhero takes action. just another thing jason and i talked about in regards to our future kids... i miss believing that would happen. would you rather be very much in love with one person and have no other friends, or have a large group of supportive and loving friends, but never find your “soul mate”? be in love with one person. give me jason and destroy the rest of the world, i don't care. have you ever lucid dreamed? would you like to, or does the thought of being able to control your dreams scare you? i haven't, but i guess it'd be cool. where did you get the pants you’re wearing? hottopic have you ever been given a rose? yes. pink ones, from jason. have you ever built a snowman? multiple times. remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? we were playing on his bed. he had me pinned down and his face was close to mine. i think he was expecting for me to beg for mercy for him to stop tickling me. i kissed him instead, and he blushed so hard, then just smiled at me. i wish i could see happiness like that again one day. how are you feeling? very nostalgic and worried. mom said the letter should reach jason's house by today. do you think someone is eventually going to break your heart?  it's already broken. so. what song are you listening to, if any? "blessed with a curse" by bring me the horizon. this song wrecks me but i fucking love it. "everything i touch turns to stone, so wrap your arms around me and leave me on my own" fucking destroys me and gives me goosebumps every time wtf. do you wear short shorts? hell no. i like to actually cover my ass. would you get your nipples pierced? nope. whats the best word to use: sleep with, shag, fuck, sex, make love: "make love" is absolutely the most romantic and sincere-sounding. green apples or red apples? red. but they HAVE to be crispy. what is an album art cover you just simply adore? "see you on the other side" by korn has a really sweet cover. who is your favorite movie director? tim burton!! would you rather sing or dance in front of your crush? i've done both in front of him, but errrr... as of now, i'd rather do neither. i've only done a choreographed dance in front of him, and the only time i truly sang in his presence was at church. how old do you think you should be to lose your virginity? i personally think you should at least an adult. just so your body is prepared for the chance of conceiving. and don't give me the, "just use protection" excuse, shit fails. what is your favorite type of jewelry? i swear i have to correct the spelling of "jewelry" in every survey i take. anyway, if we're not counting piercings, i guess rings. what is your favorite sex position? ;) i've only ever dry-humped in missionary style, and that's always been fine with me. have you ever owned a ouija board?  no. i've always wanted to frame a cool one in my house tho??? do you like pina coladas? never tried one. what is the goriest thing you've seen in real life? probably my own knees after the skinned the fuck outta them. blood and pus all over the place. what is your favorite angry music? in my head, i picture the album "saint anger" by metallica to be like the pinnacle expression of anger. all the songs relate to it somehow. which is better smoking or vaping? well i mean... obviously vaping is. it still has its flaws, though. do you prefer to be pale or tan? don't say in between: pale, honestly. do you prefer white or black electronics? black. looks cleaner. are you a good kisser (make out)? supposedly. robert downey jr. — bet you have a crush on him: very mildly, i assume. he is physically attractive and his confidence is, too. if you went on american idol, do you think you’d go through to hollywood?  ehhhh, i don't know. do you plan on seeing the black swan?  no. when it came out, mom thought it was a bad idea because it supposedly involves self-mutilation/suicidal tendencies. have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? no. when jason and i dated, i was... suspicious sometimes of one, but yet i didn't mind him. i should've. he helped convince jason to leave me. do you ever go to blockbuster? how frequently would you say you go? omg i miss that store... i used to go aaaall the time for games. do you have any haters? i'm sure i do. briar, jason's friend, made it abundantly clear he hates me. dillon doesn't like me, or else he wouldn't have told jason to leave me. i'm sure rachel still hates my guts. jason's ashley probably doesn't like me, because i'm sure j's talked shit about me. are you happy with your boobs? no, i wish they were smaller... when i was a healthy weight, i was a c, but since becoming overweight, i'm a d, and i'm aware it's not just because my breasts grew naturally, a lot of it is fat from weight gain. do you like to wear dresses? i haven't worn one except for ashley's wedding in years, but yeah, i liked wearing them when i was smaller... have you ever been a part of a threesome? fuck that shit, no. did you baby-sit for money when you were in middle school? no. who was the last person to ask you out? juan, kinda indirectly. do you have a nice butt? no. it's a pancake, but i guess i don't hate it too much because it was enough for jason to enjoy. has your friend ever held your hand and it made you feel uncomfortable? juan did once, and i was extremely uncomfortable. have you ever had any really infected injuries?  the cyst i had was infected. otherwise, no. how long have you liked the person you like right now?  five years... what did your dress for prom look like? i'll just share two pictures where you can see the two dresses clearly, i guess. the first is from j's senior prom (i was tripping in them heels, hence why i’m standing kinda funny), the second from my senior prom.  got fucking cold sweats looking for these pictures... i miss being that happy.  i miss seeing HIM that happy.  what the fuck happened.

does anyone make you feel inferior? if so, who, and why? do you feel superior to anyone? who and why? colleen makes me feel inferior, but i know she doesn't intend it at all. she's just... so much better and more accomplished. she faces life's battles head-on and tackles everything to her best ability. she's great. i don't feel superior to anyone. do you get bad pms, or is it not so bad? not that bad since i started birth control. are you in a good mood right now? i'm decent, i guess. who is your favorite super hero? batman! who is your favorite villain? harley quinn, absolutely. i relate to her so much. have you ever played the guitar? i used to. the best i could do was nail the intro to "sweet child of mine" and i was okay at the intro to "crazy train." would you rather be called honey or baby? "hunny" sounds much sweeter. if your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? "that's impossible." do you enjoy piercings & tattoos? yaaaas, boo. what do you think of the last person you kissed? he's an angel without a god. your last kiss probably meant nothing to you, right? every kiss we shared meant the world. have you ever gone to a strip club? if not, would you ever go? no, and i absolutely never will. i want nothing to do with that filthy fucking business. how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? idk, actually. i used pads for the longest time, until i wanted to try tampons. i was SO scared i was going to put it, er, in the "wrong hole" did you like the spice girls when you were little? hell yeah! would you rather kill your ex boyfriend or justin bieber? er, neither? do you believe your ex cares about you? i... don't know. did you have a dream last night? yes. i dreamt i had a crush on someone new. i don't remember his name and barely how he even looked, but... the feeling that i was feeling things for someone other than jason, it was wild. what’s the last movie you watched? with who? i watched "brother bear 2" with chelsea. your best friend tells you how she felt when she first gave head; your reaction? lmao true shit, we've been here before. xD both she and i don't like it. have you ever moved? if so, how many times? well i was born in rocky mount, but we moved to sharpsburg when i was very, very young, so really, i call sharpsburg my hometown. i moved again as a pre-teen to where we are now. do you remember the name of your kindergarten teacher? mrs. fortenberry what’s your middle name? marie have you ever cried yourself to sleep? many times. have you seen the odyssey? hmmmm, i think in high school... do you believe in equal rights between men and women?  no shit? don’t you hate the stupid girls in scary movies that run upstairs? it's extremely cliche, sure. do you plan on breastfeeding your children? or if you have children, did you? i do. i remember my mind being BLOWN when i was at the hospital when ashley was bearing ryder and there was a display of all the different nutrients in formula milk vs. breast milk. formula milk has NOTHING on the real stuff, and i want to ensure any child of mine has the best possible start in all regards. but would you ever do it in public? me personally, no. but i have NO problem with other women doing it. i'd just be too scared of getting lectured by some random, ignorant asshole. which is fucking pathetic, to know me, among soooo many other women, are fearful of being confronted because of feeding a child. we're in 2017, get with the times, this is old shit. have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? 
 every time (but one) when i was at the er and every time at the mental hospital. they're very uncomfortable and feel like thick paper. do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself?  honestly? yeah, i would. but let's hope i sure as hell never have to do so. have you ever hallucinated? 
 i wouldn't say i ever full-on hallucinated, but when i was coming off a certain medication, i saw shadows moving a lot. have you ever worn a nipple tassle? 
 nope. do you think pearls are attractive? 
 eh, i'm neutral on them, honestly. i don't find them extremely pretty. are there any waterfalls nearby? definitely not any big ones. what is your favorite condiment? usually, honey mustard. have you had a nap today? VERY surprisingly, not yet. i usually have by now. have you ever cried while watching a movie? mhmm. has someone close to you died of murder? no, thank god. do you pray to god often? less than i usually do, because i'm just so mad at him... how do you feel about people who neglect their pets? they have no right to have an animal as part of their family. should there be an application process for having children?  uh, no. i can GUARANTEE it wouldn't cover all areas and there'd be so many "special cases." it would case more bad than good, i'm certain, and besides, i can also promise you it wouldn't stop us from reproducing. how intense is your anger? have you ever hurt anyone/yourself?  it can be explosive. dare i say even deadly, with how it's left me feeling towards some people. i have hurt myself multiples times, anger being a culprit, but never anyone else. do you know anyone who is abusive? are you abusive?  i know some abusive people, yet i don't consider them part of my life. i am in no way abusive, i'd never be able to live with myself. have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone?  fuck no, because i know a thing or two about loyalty. at what age did you start to feel like a teen, and not a kid anymore?  idk what age, but it was definitely when i had my first period. i cried about it. who was the last person to completely fascinate you? completely? jason, of course. when looking for something to watch on tv, do you tend to pick shows you know you like or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? i tend to stick to what i know. if you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? i'm not sure, but probably something for suicide prevention. what is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? "magic: the gathering" i guess, and i played the duels of the planeswalker thing on ps3 moooonths ago, but i haven't played it in-hand in well over a year. do you know anyone who is fluent in a second tongue? i think juan's the only one? he speaks spanish and english. how’s your day going so far? eh. i have wicked heartburn and my stomach's upset. did your ex give you a promise ring? no. he gave me a ring, but it wasn't a promise ring. do you know anyone that's gotten an abortion before? i do, and when she's of age, she wants to get a tattoo of the child's name, which... REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF???? so your unborn child's important enough for you to get a tattoo in his/her honor, buuuut not important enough to be born??? the fuck is your problem??? are you worried about anything right now? ugh, yeah. mom has most of my room packed up, and i'm trying to find the ring jason gave me. i want to fix it and wear it. i think it's in my bigger jewelry box since it wasn't in the one he gave me, but i'm worried it won't be. i will literally die if i lost this ring. does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it?   no.  ashley has a tattoo with my initial, though, as well as our other sisters' and brother's. if you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think?   if by some miracle i conceived his child after not seeing him in over a year, i would be extremely confused, but i'll go with the logic.  i'd be like... unbelievably happy in a very weird way.  i'd cherish that child beyond explanation.  imagine a dragon guarding priceless treasures in the old fairytales, that's how i'd feel towards that baby.  to have some part of him, it'd be unreal. do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made?   no.  the human soul is. what colour is your mum’s hair?   extremely dark brown, almost black (i thought i was as a child), and graying. what would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex?   i guess... i can't say much.  considering i don't give a fuck, i would never get rid of jason's pictures. are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed?   i should've let him have my virginity.  he was entirely deserving of it. what color was the hair of the last person you kissed?   black.  it almost looked brownish in the very strong light, though. who was the last person to buy you dinner?   colleen

sorry this is a bit shorter than usual, but i need a nap.  looking back at my prom pictures really fucked with me; i feel extremely sick right now.

[knight-of-trash]

1-47?

Oh dangie you went there! Okay. Here we go.

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Yes, I want a girlfriend. I miss having someone in my life who is an endless supply of support. I miss having someone to send mushy stuff to, because I am mushy and full of feelings. I miss inside jokes and daydreaming about the next time I see her. I just miss that.

2.When did your last hug take place?

Mm…Last Tuesday. I hugged my friend Tia.

3.Are you a jealous person?

Oh yes. But in my defense, it’s mostly because of my mental illnesses. I feel super insecure, and that can make me bitter.

4.Are you tired right now?

Yes, I just got back from jogging.

5.Do you chew on your straws?

Not anymore.

6.Have you ever been called a tease?

Believe it or not, I have.

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

No. My record is 39 hours.

8.Do you cry easily?

Only when I’m alone.

9.What should you be doing right now?

Cleaning floors.

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?

Ehhh…I wake up when people enter or move around the room I’m sleeping in, but I can sleep through tornado sirens, violent storms, and supersonic jets doing practice drills overhead.

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

Honestly? No. I never seem to make it past 5 months. Most people just can’t handle my needs for validation and attention, so we end up breaking up for one reason or another.

12.Are you mad at someone right now?

Yes, though I probably have no right to be. So, my ex hasn’t spoken to me directly in over a month. No big deal…Wouldn’t be the first time this has happened. Except this time it’s different. In the past month, my cat Oliver was diagnosed with Lymphoma, I was in my first car wreck, totalted my car, and then a week after starting Oliver on chemo, we had him put to sleep because he wasn’t responding to it, and he was clearly suffering. So during all of this, I tried to get a hold of her, because I really…really wanted her comfort. I know it might be unfair to put that much on another person, but really I just wanted her to tell me it was going to be okay, and was there for me. The most I would’ve probably asked of her was to spend time with me after Oliver’s death, because I haven’t been without that cat in over 9 years, and he was basically my biggest source of emotional support for the past 9 years, and has kept me alive during some serious suicidal moments in my life. But I didn’t hear anything from her. I know we’re exes, but we are trying to be friends at the very least, and friends don’t let friends go through that alone. Especially not when I’ve told her during every crisis in her life since I came into it, in every hardship, that I’m here if she ever needs me. It just feels like I don’t matter, and to have that happen during all this negativity in my life, it’s been very detrimental to my self worth. So yeah, I’m angry. It’s like Rowan all over again when Spice died, except Rowan took it a step further, and said “It was just a cat.” But at least Rowan had the wherewithal to text me a, “U ok?” text and tell me “No” when I asked them to come over, despite being close to a mental breakdown and being highly non-verbal at the time of Spice’s death. (And Spice wasn’t even my cat, she was my brother’s. She just went into like cardiac arrest when I was home alone with her.)

13.Do you believe in love?

Sort of. True love isn’t something that just happens. It takes time, and equal effort. You need someone who can meet you halfway, and makes an effort to make you an active part of their life for it to be true love. You both need to be willing ot work through things, and admit when you hurt the other, and then NEVER do that thing again.

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

Space Jam vines.

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

My mom.

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

If I am around someone I like I get butterflies, yes.

17.Will you get married?

Gotta have a long relationship first, but we all know that’s not my forte.

18.When was the last time you smiled?

Like really smiled? I was at Target with my friend Emily, and we were buying a shit ton of Capri Sun, The Oregon Trail board game, a box of 120 Crayons, and some suer cheap Pilsberry Valentine’s cupcake mix and frosting.

19.Does anyone like you?

My Finn, Raphael likes me. He tries to flirt with me a lot and always calls me beautiful, but honestly, I’m not really interested in him.

20.Do you secretly like someone?

No. Wait. Yes. I’ve had a secret crush on a friend for like three years. I won’t tell her though, because number one, we don’t talk much, and I feel like we’re better friends than anything, but got'damn if she ain’t my type.

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?

Technically…If we’re going off of what time it was, Rheann. If we’re going off after I fell asleep and woke up earlier today, my mom, when she handed me my new pocket knife.

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Emily probably. She knows I’m a dirty robot fucker, and there’s really no coming back from that.

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

Developing the roll of film from Oliver’s last 24 hours alive. There’s roughly 35 shots on the film, and my professor REALLY wants me to develop it on Tuesday, but…If I’m being honest, I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Not when the last picture is-…Is after it was confirmed his heart stopped.

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

Spring break. My birthday is during spring break this year, so I don’t have to be at school on my birthday, so I get to sleep in, despite it being on a Monday. That’s really the only thing I’m looking forward to when it comes to the near future, and my birthday. I don’t really like to celebrate it, but sleeping in on it is definetly a plus.

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

Yeah, and it’s ridiculous.

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

Honestly? I would be pretty hurt. There are still some complicated feelings there, at least for me, and I would probably walk off, find a place to be alone, cry for a while, then cut all contact, and not speak to literally anyone for a while until I accept it, and allow myself time to heal and move on, before trying to become friends with her again.

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

Wish I could.

28.Are you a forgiving person?

You have no idea the shit I have been able to forgive. I was able to forgive my abusive ex boyfriend, Lewis, despite him emotionally and mentally abusing me for a year. Now we play Minecraft together every so often. I can forgive people for canceling plans with me as long as they don’t cancel the next plans we have together, unless it’s like a family emergency or they got called into work, or freak weather happens. I can forgive almost anything if a person is sincere enough in their apology, and finds a way to make it up to me. I’m very easy in that sense. I pride myself on being a very understanding, very forgiving person. It’s one of my only virtues.

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?

…One? I guess? Emily has been my friend since freshman year of highschool, and has put up with my shit more than anyone else has. There’s never been a time where I’ve questioned her being my friend, nor have we ever really fought before.

30.Do you fall for people easily?

Okay listen here you little shit…I MAY have a problem with seeing pretty girls and going, “Holy fuck! Marry me?????” but listen! LISTEN! …I am an innocent little bean, just looking for love, and therefore, no one can judge me!

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

Pfffhahaha that implies I know my exes best friends.

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

My headphone. Why do I do that???

33.Who was the last person you drove with?

Baker. I drive her home after class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?

3:30am. Rheann was having a hard time, and my mom friend mode activated, so I needed to make sure she knew that she is doing her best with school, and that she shouldn’t compare herself to others, and that she’s not going to fail, because she is way smarter than me, and I believe in her, and know she’s perfectly capable of suceeding in school, even though she feels overwhelmed right now. AND SHE BETTER NOT FORGET THAT!!!

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

California. I hear they want to succeed from the US, and I am DOWN for that. I don’t give no fucks about no drought or cancer everywhere, get me out of the Trump regime now, pretty please.

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Myself, post-jog.

37.Can you live a day without TV?

I mean…Realistically I could. I think I managed to not watch TV last Tuesday.

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

August 14th, 2016. The last Monday before I started school. My girlfriend at the time was supposed to come over and hang out with me on her day off. She never showed up, and when I texted her asking her if she was coming or not, she said no, and wouldn’t explain to me what was going on. So I flipped out and broke up with her because lord have fucking mercy, that was like the twelveth time she had flaked on me that summer, and I was livid! So I guess that would be the last time I was extremely disappointed.

39.Three names you go by..

My lastname, Ali, and Kiki.

40.Are you currently in a relationship?

No. Do I want one? Yes. Have I ever had one in February? No. Am I depressed by this? Fuck yes. Am I looking forward to Valentine’s Day? Hahaha I’m going to throw myself off a bridge.

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

Titanic I guess. I’ve only seen it 70 times.

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

I believe there are people who are soul-compatible. In your life time, you’ll meet many people like that. Friends, pets, romantic partners. Those that are truly your match will find ways to stay in your life for years and years and years. But in my opinion, souls change. Rarely though, you will find someone who’s soul changes with yours. Never let them go.

43.What’s your current problem?

I have 99 of them, and at least 4 of them are the fact that my cat just died. 1 of them is my sever lack of pink roses in my life.

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

My heart is fragile. Even after years of abusive relationships both platonic and romantic, child sexual abuse, betrayals, and bullying, my heart is as fragile as butterfly wings. I trust too easily, I love to quickly, and believe too strongly. I set myself up for heart break after heart break, but you know what? I like being hopeful, and being intense with my heart. It’s apparently what makes me so charming.

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

They don’t work for me. I require a lot of attention, so they’re a no can do. Kudos to others who make it work though.

46.How many kids do you want to have?

Hmm…I used to have vivid dreams of having three kids. Figure it gives me a chance to have a boy and girl, and then whatever happens happens.

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

Yes. I don’t like to inconvenience people. Part of the reason my secret crush is my secret crush is because I didn’t want to hold her back. I don’t want people to feel obligated to return my feelings, and I don’t want people to date me, only to leave me a month later because I’m “too intense”. That’s why I find it hard to tell people I like them most of the time. The last person I told I liked them though, I did it because it felt right to me. It felt like if I didn’t I was going to miss out on the most important thing in my life. You know what I mean?