#that gave me some insane fucking whiplash i was all in like ah yes you’re in love with john ok and then just- out of nowhere????

[paulmccartneyexplodingonstage]

I picked up a copy of The Lyrics at my local bookstore the other day, and I’m reading the page about Let Me Roll It when-

and like the whole passage is insane (yeah hm i wonder who you might have a hard time revealing feelings to paul in this self-admittedly inspired by john song 🤔)

but HELLO UNPROMPTED BE MORE CHILL REFERENCE???? YOU’RE TELLING ME PAUL FUCKING MCCARTNEY KNOWS WHAT BE MORE CHILL IS???? DO YOU THINK HE SHIPS BOYF RIENDS—

[moody-by-nature]

Rescue Me|Chapter Twelve

The sounds of their moans and heavy breathing filled the hotel room. Jared thrusted his still fully clothed body against Andrea, "Ah, J..." she moaned, and snapped her hips in rhythm. Jared slid his hand underneath her shirt, up to her left breast, nipping the skin on her neck between kisses.

Andrea hissed and bucked her hips against him in response. Jared's phone rang from across the room, going ignored. Andrea slipped her hands under Jared's shirt, roaming his back and dug her nails into his skin.

Immediately, his phone rang again and Andrea pushed him away. Her chest heaved as she spoke, "You should probably get that, it's important if they've called back that quick." Jared seized her lips once more, "You're more important than whoever that is." He replied.

Andrea smiled into his kiss, "That's sweet, but," Jared sighed, interrupting her, "The moment is over, huh?" He thrusted his hips into her once more, making her moan. "You don't play fair, J."  With another slow thrust, "You're the one stopping me." He said with a wink as he bit at her bottom lip.

Jared stopped his movement, but Andrea still felt his semi-hardness against her mound and it drove her insane. "I know, and I'm sorry." She sighed, Looking up at him as he hovered over her and placed her hands on his arms.

"Don't be sorry for stopping something you aren't ready for." Jared said, leaning down to place a sweet kiss on her lips. Andrea turned her head to kiss the red symbol on his right wrist before she playfully bit him.

He pulled himself away and swatted her lightly on her ass, "You're going to pay for that someday." He threatened lightly as he walked to his phone, "It was Shannon, I'm going to sit out on the balcony to call him back." Andrea nodded from her position on the bed, watching him perch himself on the side of the balcony. His face illuminated by his screen, "Hey, bro." was the last thing she heard before she drifted to sleep.

Jared returned inside to find a sleeping Andrea. Suddenly struck by an idea, he called down to the front desk asking for assistance with their bags. Once they are loaded into the back of the SUV, Jared returned to the room. He scooped her into his arms, and whispered into her ear. "I can't sleep, so I decided to drive some more. I have a surprise for you." He gently placed her in the back seat, on the pillow provided by the hotel staff and covered her with a blanket, kissing her temple before taking off.

They arrived in Joshua Tree, California, just before dawn on Christmas morning. Jared stopped at a quaint little Air BNB he was lucky to obtain last minute through a friend of his.

The early morning sunlight flowed through the curtains. Andrea cracked an eye open taking in her surroundings. She furrowed her eyebrow in confusion, 'there was a balcony there last night' she thought.

She turned onto her right side to find a Jared, still sound asleep. Lightly snoring, his lips parted slightly, long hair tousled around him. The memory of last night floated through her mind and she smiled. It was so sexy when he threw her against that wall, the way his hand felt on her throat. The way he felt against her. Her memory caused a small moan escape her lips, she ached to be closer to him.

With a shaky hand, she reached across and pushed Jared's hair from his eyes to get a better view of him and scooted closer. "Merry Christmas, beautiful." Jared croaked. Andrea jumped, not expecting him to speak. Eyes still closed, he let out a breathy laugh. Through a smile, she replied, "First of all, if you could actually see me, you'd realize I'm not beautiful. And you scared me! It's not nice to play opossum."

He pushed her over onto her back, halfway hovered over her, propped up on his elbow. "First of all, Andrea," he paused, raising an eyebrow, "when I tell you you're beautiful, I fucking mean it. Are we clear?" His tone serious.

Andrea gulped and nodded her head. "Answer me." He commanded. "Yes, Jared." She replied instantly, quickly raising her head to plant a chaste kiss on his lips, "Thank you." Jared lowered his head and placed a kiss on Andrea's forehead and then on her lips.

Andrea cupped his face and smiled, "By the way, remind me once we start working to add 'successful kidnapper' to your CV!" Jared laid back down and laughed, "You were out cold. After I got off the phone with Shannon, I had the idea to bring you here. I always try to celebrate my birthday here if I can."

"Where exactly is here?" Andrea asked. She propped herself up on her elbows to get a look at the room. The first thing that caught her attention was the architecture of the room. Half dome shaped and stuccoed, the walls all white and hardwood floors. Around the room were various pots filled with succulents, a telescope that sat next to a cozy chair adjacent the window.

Andrea turned her head to Jared expectantly, "We're in Joshua Tree." Andrea squealed and jumped up onto her knees. She threw a leg over Jared and straddled him, "I've always wanted to come here!"

Jared's hands automatically moved to her hips, massaging her skin. Andrea leaned forward and pushed her lips to his, grabbing at his muscular shoulders. Jared pushed her away to arms length, "Andie, please don't take what I say next the wrong way, but we can't do this. You aren't ready for it." Andie pulled her arms from his grasp, "How do you know what I am and am not ready for? Do you read minds now, too?"

"It would be so much easier if I did. He mumbled, as Andie rolled off of him. "Come on, Andie, please. Let's go on an adventure, I'll take you climbing! We both need to clear our minds. It's taking a lot of energy to turn you down, trust me."

Andrea threw her arms up in surrender, "Fine! Let's go climb a fucking mountain." Andrea shouted sarcastically, making Jared chuckle. She cut her eyes and glared at him.

Jared gripped her chin between his thumb and index finger, "Look at me!" He commanded. She lifted her eyes to his, "Knock it off, Andrea. Lighten up a little or I'll bend you over my knee and spank your ass raw." Jared watched as Andrea squirmed slightly, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Good girl." He breathed, planting a kiss on her lips.

Thanks to Jared's teaching skills, Andrea's first attempt to climb was a success. A small, but challenging task as a beginner, she sat perched atop the cliff side and watched Jared make his last couple of moves to ascend to the top. He sat beside her and watched the sun fade away and the moon rise over the valley.

"What has been your favorite part of the trip so far?"

Jared smiled, "It's been a great week. Seeing where you grew up, meeting your family. Throwing you against that wall and kissing you."

"I told you I'm an orphan. That wasn't my family." Jared rolled his eyes, "Whatever. You look just like your dad. They're great. Embrace the crazy." He nudged her arm, "What's been your favorite part so far?

Andrea tapped her finger on her jaw and hummed, "First, I must say the fact that we have survived almost two thousand miles in a car together without strangling each other is wonderful. I think we really have a shot at working together."

"You ignored me for the first ten hours!"

"You almost kissed me and then apologized for it! That hurt my feelings, Jared! Then you throw me against the wall and kiss me like I've never been kissed. What happened right after that and again earlier today. You're giving me whiplash!

"I love sleeping with you. You know, I've not done that in years." Andie's face showed her confusion, so Jared continued, "Slept beside someone. They always left afterwards. I didn't want to have that kind of intimacy with any of them."

"This is exactly what I'm talking about by the way. You push and then pull. Back and forth. You drive me insane!"

She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees. Jared remained silent. "I really like it too, by the way. Waking up snuggled into you doesn't suck."

"We have to figure this out, J. Before we start working together. Maybe we should end, whatever this is before it begins."

Jared adjusted his cap, turning it around backwards, before looking at her, "Is that what you want, Andrea?"

"What do you want?" Andrea asked, "I want you to answer my question."

Andrea bounced her knee against the rock nervously, "I want to be someone's best friend, the love of their life. The reason they stay faithful. Someone to fight and then make up with. Their everything. Someone that I can take care of and that will take care of me. Someone that will love me when I'm being a moody pain in the ass. A man that knows what I need even when I don't." Andrea sighed, "I'll probably die a virgin, I'm too fucking complicated."

Jared wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer, "You are complicated, I'll give you that. Sassy, moody, and yeah, even a major pain in the ass more often than not. But I have enjoyed every minute of the days we've spent together thus far. As far as the other things you just said, you deserve each and every one of them.  When you find him, he will be the luckiest bastard in the entire world."

Andrea giggled and gave Jared a peck on the cheek. She cupped his face in her hands, gently scratching her fingers through his short beard watching him smile, "You deserve those things too, you know that, right Jared? Because sometimes you act like you don't."

"I'm starting to." He said, staring into her eyes, running his thumb down the side of her face and across her bottom lip.

Andie bit her lip and smiled, "Let's get off this rock before I fall to my death."

Jared stood and pulled Andie to her feet. "No worries, follow me." He led her across to the other side of the rock to a smooth trail. Andrea looked at Jared, "I'd hit you if my arms didn't hurt so bad. This was here and we climbed up instead of walking up?"

"Tell me you didn't enjoy challenging yourself." Jared laughed. "I hate you." Andie chuckled and took off down the trail.

Jared decided to celebrate his birthday in a low key fashion, so they stayed two more days. They hiked daily and spent their evenings relaxing in the hammock reading before heading back to LA.

It was New Year's Eve and Andrea was invited to a party being held for Jared's employees. She put on her favorite slinky red dress and headed off to Jared's.

It was just before nine when she arrived and let herself in. Shayla was the first familiar face she encountered, "Andrea! Wow, you look great, love that dress!"

"Thanks! It's old, but a favorite." The girls sat on the couch catching up on life. "Are you excited to get started working?"

"I really am! I have a lot to learn, but I love a challenge. Are you thirsty? I'm going to get a drink." Andrea stated.

"No, I'm good thanks, just had a glass of Jamie's punch, it's delicious!" Shayla replied. "Oh, punch sounds good! I'm going to get some. See you in a bit."

Four glasses of punch later, Andrea is dancing the night away with Jamie and Shayla when she noticed Jared watching from the corner. Andrea finished her punch and sashayed over to Jared.

She wrapped her arms around his wrists and pulled him into the hall. "Hello, handsome." Andrea purred, her lips centimeters from Jared's. She pushed a kiss on his lips, her tongue darted out, gliding along his lower lip before she bit down gently. "Hello, beautiful." Jared moaned, his hands instantly on her hips.

Andrea continued her sensual attack, nibbling along his jawline to his ear. Her tongue laved at the hollow of his neck before she moved to his clavicle and bit down. Jared hissed, then groaned when Andrea latched her mouth to his skin, distracting from the pain.

Desire flooded her veins, she wanted him, all of him. Dropping to her knees right there in the hallway, her face nuzzled into Jared's crotch. "You smell good" She muttered, her mouth sucking and kissing on him through his jeans. Jared panted, "Fuck, Andrea!" and pulled her by the nape of her neck. He crashed his lips to hers. "How much have you had to drink?"

"I haven't had any alcohol," she stated firmly, "just punch all night. It's so good!"

Jared instantly knew Andrea was wasted and picked her up over his shoulder. He carefully climbed the stairs and entered his bedroom. Laying her on the bed gently, he removed her shoes. Andrea spread her legs wide, her dress slid up her legs revealing her red thong. Jared bit his lip cursing internally as she moaned and touched herself. "Jared please, please make love to me."

He attempted to put her legs together, but she maneuvered quickly, catching him off guard, pulled him to her chest and wrapped her long legs around him. Andrea kissed him fervently, grinding her hips into his moaning his name.

"Mmm, J. I love your lips, they're so perfect. I bet they'd feel amazing on my pussy!" She giggled. Jared closed his eyes and groaned, getting lost in that thought and her for a moment before he snapped out of it. "Baby, stop! You're wasted. We can't do this as much as I fucking want to." He growled forcing himself off of her body.

Andrea started sobbing, "You don't want me, I knew it!" She yelled.

"Andrea, you couldn't be more wrong, I do want you. But I want you to be sober and realize what you're saying. It would be wrong to have you this way. You've had too much to drink, baby. Go to sleep, I'm right here." He settled back into bed beside her listening to the beat of the music downstairs as he watched her, "Hey, you just called me Baby." She smiled, drifting off to sleep.

Jared kissed her forehead, "Happy New Year, baby."

[xadoheandterra]

Title: Don’t Write Me A Postscript Chapter: X (I / II / III / IV / V / VI / VII / VIII / IX / XI / XII / XIII) Fandom: Red vs Blue Characters: Micheal Caboose | Agent California | Micheal-210, David Church | Agent Washington | Recovery One, Church | Alpha, Frank DuFresne | Doc, Epsilon Summary: He was all sorts fucked up and didn’t want to admit it. Being alone for fourteen months didn’t help matters--except, well, Church was tired of being alone. Tired of people leaving and dying--and he thought, no more. I’m done. I’m out.

Won’t Say You’re Sorry (I / II / III)

Do You Even Feel Compassion? (I / II)

Church hated to admit it but he stopped functioning the minute David slumped sideways into unconsciousness. It felt like everything that made Church into Church up and crashed, completely, incapable of comprehending that David could be that far gone. The thought of another death—of another loss—became too much. His brain blue screened—and wasn’t that fucking hilarious?—and when everything rebooted Church felt—

—felt—

everythingandnothingandsomuchbeyond

It felt like a film covered everything. Church worked quickly, quietly, and settled David into a position that wouldn’t fuck up his neck even further. He categorized what he could see—the suit said unstable; pinpoint where, what is broken—there. The implant. How? Jammed; has to be jammed. Fix?—and then with a thought Church manipulated the radio waves until he reached the one frequency he knew could direct him further.

“Field Medic Frank DuFresne, speaking!”

“I need everything on repairing a jammed implant against the spinal column, now,” Church said shortly.

“Wha—Church?! How did you—why do you need to know that?!” Doc sounded so horrified.

Church slid his gaze off of David for a brief moment and over to Caboose. He made a quick gesture, a twitch of his fingers in a manner that he knew the other man would recognize if only because it’d been so deeply ingrained into him. A second later Church jerked his head back toward the smoke that rose in the distance, where their crashed jeep was, and Caboose climbed to his feet in silence.

“You don’t need to know,” Church said hollowly. “You just need to provide me the information.”

“But—there is a lot about implants, Church! They’re—one wrong step and you could leave someone braindead for life! I can’t have that—”

“You tell me what I need to do,” Church narrowed his eyes, “or I hunt you down and put a bullet in your head. Now.”

For a moment Doc said nothing, and then quietly, “When did you get so mean?”

Church shuddered, then bent forward and buried his face into his knees. He fought down the twisted confusion that warred inside him—memories and thoughts and everythingandanythingandtheuniverseathisfingertips—and said lowly, “Wouldn’t you do anything for family, Doc?”

“I…” Doc seemed to fumble for words. “I’m sorry. I just…don’t feel comfortable with this, Church.”

Church closed his eyes. “Wouldn’t you do anything for your own child, Doc?” Church whispered, like he admitted to something so forbidden and wrong—but wasn’t he, in some respects? Wasn’t he?

He heard a faint, “Oh dear,” and then a sigh. “I—alright. Alright. But if this doesn’t work…”

Church clenched his fists. “It will work,” he said. His hands trembled.

“But if it doesn’t—”

“It will work,” Church ground out.

Doc was silent. For a moment Church just stared at David, stared at the face drawn with stress and gaunt from nightmares and from the other man pushing himself beyond his limits like an idiot. Church’s hands trembled.

(he had no right to David anyway)

(that man)

(not after how he threw him away)

Doc sighed. “Alright,” the medic mumbled. “Alright. Here’s what you need to do.”

(he had no right to David)

(David was Alpha’s now)

(would always be…)

(he had no right to David anymore)

Church’s hands trembled.

Wash woke back up and felt like his head went through a blender or two in three different ways. His neck ached something fierce and his implant honest-to-god burned. Wash blinked bleary eyes and for a moment he saw—he saw—

—pale and blue and cackling laughter with bright eyes filled with madness and hate.

“Don’t you get it yet? Don’t you? Don’t you?”—

—regulation “blue” and a concerned face of Caboose. The young man blinked back at Wash and then smiled.

“Church! Church! He’s awake!” Caboose shouted and Wash winced as the noise seemed to jam straight into his implants.

Wash hissed, “Fuck,” under his breath because that was honestly a new feeling. The next thing he knew before he could even try to push himself up was Church right in his face.

“Follow my finger,” Church said sharply and Wash tracked the finger in a sort of daze. “Good,” Church mumbled. “Recite your name for me.”

“What—why?” Wash questioned. What had even happened?

“I need to make sure everything’s working right, dammit,” Church snapped out, then turned his head to the side with a frown. “Yes I’m asking him the damn questions shut up Doc I’m focusing,” Church hissed and then turned back. “Recite your name,” Church repeated shortly.

“Agent Washington?” Wash mumbled and blinked.

“Great, now your legal name?” Church sighed tiredly.

“I—what? How would you even know that?” Wash frowned.

“Just…just recite it, please,” Church sighed and scrubbed his face with his hand. Wash frowned and then mumbled his name, but Church seemed to accept it readily enough all the same. With a tired sigh Church continued to have Washington recite random facts back, and then told the other man not to move as he shifted over to check at—

“What the fuck!?” Wash shrieked and quickly jerked to shy away from the touch at his implants, but Caboose suddenly held him steady. “Why are you—get away, don’t touch that, fuck stop—”

“I need to make sure the damn thing is adjusted properly, goddamn it David!” Church snapped back. “Stop trying to struggle, fuck, you piece of shit. I need to—ugh Caboose hold him steady!”

Wash canted a litany of no over and over and fought hard against Caboose—the man had strength and it bothered him something fierce, reminded him of another behemoth that he worked with and cared for and—David couldn’t take it. No one touched his implants, no one got close—it was wrong and dangerous and Epsilon—

“Since when did you have autonomy?” he cackled, and cackled, and madness spread like a disease through every pore and orifice and—

“Good, good it’s back into place. Shit you gave me a scare,” Church mumbled and pulled back. Caboose let go and Wash scrambled. He breathed and twitched and one hand reached back to protectively shield his implants for the world around him as he stared. Church stared back as Wash panted and hyperventilated and kept distance between them.

“You damaged it in the crash,” Church said plainly. “It wasn’t obvious at first, not until you passed out. The import jammed back into your spinal column and cut off some of the blood vessels and the flow of spinal fluid.”

“What?” Wash rasped.

“The jeep?” Church said carefully. “You crashed, remember?”

“Yes, but? My—”

“Your implant, yeah,” Church nodded with a sigh. “The whiplash? Or just the impact of the crash or something it smashed your implant, the AI port, straight into your spine. Didn’t see the damage until after you passed out—thought it was fine, had the pry the fucking thing back into place.” Church grimaced. “Your suit readout says its all good now, though,” he mumbled. “Vitals stable and shit.”

“We thought you just scrambled,” Caboose said, and his voice was so chipper it hurt. “Like me! I threw up. Again. And things were very fuzzy and strange and Church said not to sleep but you slept which was wrong.”

“I—did?” Wash glanced between them and tried to piece everything together. He took the bits that Church and Caboose threw out and puzzled them into place. It calmed him, to slot the facts and nonsense together until he got a semi-formed picture. “Oh.” It took a second more before the full situation hit him. “Wait, you performed brain surgery on me in a goddamn forest with no training?!”

Church waved a hand and glanced to Caboose. The sim soldier already began to gather up the supplies they’d retrieved from the wrecked remains of the jeep what seemed like so long ago. “Nothing so complex,” Church grumbled. “Just…pried it back into place. Had a walking, talking medical journal to help me out.”

“I resent that Church!” Doc said with a frown over the radio. “Although I gotta say, you did good for no medical training!”

“Like you’re any fucking better?” Church snapped back. “What’s a medic without any clue how to be a medic?”

“It’s the thought that counts,” Doc replied sagely.

Wash watched them. “You are…all insane,” he rasped. “Just…shit.”

“Certifiable in certain sectors,” Doc agreed. “Now you’ll need to get that checked out by a professional. A jammed neural implant is no joke! Who knows what kind of brain damage that could cause?”

Wash stared at Church’s helmet, and then glanced to Church and Caboose. “That’s…great. Thanks.”

“No problem! Have a safe trip!” Doc said brightly. “Church I’m going to disconnect now. Sounds like you got shit well in hand.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Church mumbled distractedly. He helped Caboose pile things back into place as the radio clicked off. Washington watched, mumbled about insanity again, before he gingerly climbed to his feet and helped with the pack up.

“How long was I out?” Washington questioned carefully.

“Two days,” Church replied. “What the hell was that anyway?”

Wash blinked. “What?”

“You crashed the fucking jeep, did the impossible and somehow got it caught on fire until it exploded which is…practically impossible. That’s not how shit works,” Church ground out. Wash winced.

“Ah…cars hate me.”

Church stared. “Lame.”

“Fuck you. The breaks didn’t work on the damn thing anyway,” Wash added. “And the gas pedal jammed.”

“Lame,” Church repeated, and he drew the word out slowly.

Wash rolled his eyes. “We’ve wasted enough time already,” he grumbled and took a step forward. Church caught him before he tumbled over and smashed into the ground. “Ugh, perfect.”

“Just take it easy,” Church said sharply. “I don’t want you to fucking fall unconscious again.”

Wash grimaced, but accepted the help. He reached for his helmet to tug it on and frowned when Church slapped his hand away.

“Not until the inflammation dies down,” Church said. “Doc’s orders.”

Wash stared, and then mumbled, “Lame,” back at Church. Church snorted.

“Sure, man, whatever,” he said. “You good to go Caboose?”

Caboose slauted and slung the crate of supplies onto his back. “Yessir Mr. Grumpypants Sir!” Church rolled his eyes.

“Let’s go then,” Church grumbled and supported Washington as they started off in a random direction. “Road’s gotta be here somewhere.”

Caboose nodded and turned. “Autobots transform and roll out!” he chirped and led the way with a bounce in his step. Caboose made the sound effects as if he transformed into a car as he moved and Washington blinked blearily.

“Does that make him Optimus?” Wash questioned, and then wondered why he even bothered to play into it. He had to be going crazy.

“Weren’t you already?”

“Shut up Epsilon,” Wash mumbled.

Church glanced to him, then shrugged. “I think he’s supposed to be Bumblebee,” Church said, and Wash felt at least relieved that the other man didn’t seem to notice his sudden slip over nothing. “I’m Optimus.”

Wash frowned. “What does that make me?”

“I don’t know. Our human sidekick?”

“Great,” Wash said dryly. “I’m the damsel in distress.” He paused, and then groaned. “Oh fuck I really am.”

“Bingo.”

“Fuck you.”

“Hey I just saved your ass, be grateful!”

Somehow Church convinced Agent Washington to drop into civvies between the forest, the dirt road, and this small out-of-the-way refueling station. Caboose and himself followed the transformation and, in Church’s opinion it made travel less of a hassle. Also he had better access to glance over at Wash’s implants just to make sure everything was okay without actually tossing the man into another panic attack.

“Thanks,” Church mumbled to Caboose when the other man handed over the set of maps he’d quite happily purchased. Church commandeered the lone table in the very small food court—literally just a soda machine and a hotdog roller like you’d see in those gas stations back on Earth—and with barely any how-do-you-do unfolded the maps onto the table.

“What are you doing?” Wash questioned around the straw of his ridiculously sugary soda while he watched Church. He had to admit this moment to take a breather was much needed after hours and what felt like weeks of travel between nothing and a forest.

“Calculating,” Church said absentmindedly. Quickly Church began to scribble on the maps, a mix of calculations and notes that he remembered from his workroom back at High Ground. He interspaced what he recalled with additional information he’d gathered from their walk and observing the land, scowled, and scratched out several calculations.

Wash watched the entire work, how Church’s hand moved across the page quickly and smoothly. He sat up a bit straighter when he recognized the landmark for Valhalla, their destination, and how Church made several small circles around the location, and then further marks with increasing distance from Valhalla. He watched as the notes scribbled across several additional maps that noted roadways and flightpaths, and then a small canyon that actually wasn’t even named on the map to Wash’s surprise. He felt certain that had to be Blood Gulch the way Church scribbled directions and drew several short arrows in a northeasterly direction.

Once finished Church leaned back away from the maps, spun them around, until they rested in front of Wash.

“Additional potential wreckage sites,” Church said, and carefully pointed at the marked and scribbled circles. “Following Tex’s trajectory, the explosion, and accounting for weather plus the crash site discovered at Valhalla, these are the most likely impacts of any additional portions of the Pelican.” Church glanced to Wash. “Just in case Valhalla is a bust.”

Wash gaped. “I—how did you do that?” he squeaked.

Church shrugged. “I was always more of a scientist than a soldier,” he said tiredly. “Don’t tell anyone. It’d ruin my reputation.” He gave Washington a glare at that, and the Agent nodded his head quickly as he pulled the map closer to study the information there. He traced a finger along the road, including the refueling station they were at now, and blinked.

“We’ll hit this before we hit Valhalla,” Washington said. He sipped his drink as he tapped one of Church’s marked locations. “It’ll put us out by a few days, but if you are right….”

Church cocked his head. “I’m right,” he said plainly and crossed his arms. Wash raised an eyebrow at the arrogance, and then leaned back in surprise when Caboose bopped Church on the head. Church twisted. “What the fuck Caboose?!”

Caboose frowned. “You were being rude again,” he said. “Stop it.”

Church gaped. “I was not!”

Caboose nodded his head. “Yes, Church. You were.”

Church couldn’t even formulate words. He just sort of squawked and made sharp, incoherent shrieks before he threw his hands up with a growl and a groan and turned his head away. Wash watched how Caboose smiled, almost devious like, and decided that he didn’t even want to know. Something about the interaction made him a little uncomfortable, and maybe it had to do with the way that Caboose was coherent and clear—and then that smile that wasn’t goofy at all.

Caboose glanced to Wash, and winked. Then he gathered up the maps and rolled them up. With a cheerful hum and his usual absence to the world around him Caboose piled everything into the crate and carefully replaced the lid. He hiked it back up onto his back just in time for Church to jerk to his feet with a scowl.

“We’ve wasted enough fucking time,” Church grumbled. He shot a glare to Wash when the other man slurped at his drink loudly, and with a huff Church stormed from the refueling station. Wash lamented the fact that he wouldn’t be able to finish his drink before with a sigh he too got up. At least they had a plan of action again now.