#that fucking GRIN! the FANGY!

[lounaticm]

@kiwibubbles5 I am subjecting you to this and my rant in the tags lol

Beware, beware, be skeptical

Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold

Week 18 Of @project-creatusannus, week 17 here

Inspired by @captain-rachel ‘s prompt from months ago fhhggh sorry abt that ^^;

[evilminji]

Oh... oh no it's all coming together ( o.o)

Ya'll remember my Danny haunts Space Games post?

That but MORE SO. Harder. Like... ZONE GAME DEVELOPER PASSION PROJECT harder. Because? Special Interest chemicals go brrrrr~☆

And you KNOW... you absolutely FUCKING KNOW! That Danny was minding his business, going about his life, hyped as FUCK for the new Space Game 5 (a niche game but so what? It has REALISTIC physics! It's set on THE MOON!).

Has NOT stopped rambling on about it.

Been driving everyone insane, because it won't be out for MONTHS.

When~?

Youngblood, probably, goes "So what? That sound BORING. There barely anything to DO in that! Not like one of OUR Super Cool ZONE Video Games™. OURS are way better! And we gave LOADS more options then THAT! Now can we get back to-"

Freeze frame, record scratch.

Wait. WHAT!?

Danny is violently answers out of that eternal child faster then you can say "Dude! Chill!" Got them manic Obsession Eyes. Oops. Youngblood forgot Danny is Space Obsessed. But also PROTECTION Obsessed. Meaning he can't LEAVE where he is protecting.

You know.... FOR SPACE.

He needs a work around to feed his Obsession. Video games do it. Since he can go INTO them, but leave at a moments notice, if trouble happens. It's like being both IN SPACE but also AT HIS POST! Double Obsession Feeding! Happy chemicals! Mmmmm, content ecto-goo~

But now? NOW?! He's learning there is BETTER Space?!

WHERE IS THE BETTER SPACE?! *kicks open the portal*

It? Is a terrifying time for everybody. Thanks A LOT, Youngblood. It takes like... five Amazons and Pandora herself tackling the little menace, to get him still long enough to get a semi-coherent answer out of him. Stop him trying to shake down random ghosts for answers they can't GIVE.

Youngblood is grounded.

DANNY has an Obsession-crash headache, is really embarrassed, but honestly no one blames him. No one acts their best when they're Obsession gets suddenly triggered that hard. It was a poor man offered El Dorado, a scholar all the secrets in the world. He got swept up in it.

That SAID, yes, there IS a video game shop near here. There are, of course, countless such shops. It's the Zone. There are countless EVERYTHING. It's the nature of the Zone. Just don't harrass any of the developers and all will be well, Phantom. They're not afraid to put YOU in time out as well.

Deal! ( /☆.☆)/ *grabby hands*

There? Are so, SO many games. For systems Danny's never even HEARD off. Alien ones, new ones, long dead ones. Zone exclusives. It's less a shop and more a sprawling maze.

His grin is FERAL.

Space. Gaaaaaaames!!!

The more realistic the BETTER. Give him that living vicariously like an Astronaut DREAM. But fantasy maybe! Or in the future! Or deep space! Alien mayhaps! There are a few. The blended Obsessions that are kinda like his. Space and video-games instead of Space and Protection.

And? Oh~

Oh they are so SO realistic.

Impossible to play on any Earth computer, too. Not a single chance. Wouldn't even TRY and run. But! He is a Fenton! And he WILL have his Space Games! If his parents can make a portal in their basement? HE can make a Bank of Ectoplasmic Supercomputers in his spare room! Or Bedroom! Depends on renting prices!

He GUTS every landfill for MILES for usable parts.

"Liberates" parts from Rogues, left and right. Fuck their evil plans! He has computers to build! The Justice League? Baffled. Alarmed. Nooooot his problem!!!

He completes his works and? Oh~ the smile is both terrifying and fangy.

Spaaaaaaaace~☆

He starts College. On line, of course, he refuses to leave Amity. And Online can be done at his pace, at his hours. So? For once? He's actually doing WELL. Even BETTER? It helps him remember to leave them games every once and a while. Eat something. Be human.

But... well... it's like a slow flip of his Obsession starving. Now that he has all the Space he could ever want? He... suddenly finds Amity... peaceful? Which is GOOD! It's... it's GOOD.

.........just not for him.

He can almost physically FEEL him mind unclenching it's death grip on the town. Finger by finger. Hands releasing, letting go, as they... reach for something. As he starts taking NOTE of crime rates in major cities. Alien attacks and Rogues, Heros spread too thin, people getting HURT.

In need of PROTECTION.

He... he doesn't WANT to be that fickle. He LOVES Amity! It's his HOME. He wasn't protecting it just because he craved something to protect! In the end, he drags it out longer then he probably should, argues with himself, ignores the problem. Is STUBBORN.

It's only after Dani starts talking about coming back to Amity to stay with him, do the college thing like he did, that he realizes...

Amity's not his Haunt anymore.

They talk. She's excited to help him find a nice shit hole of a city to protect, but also worried because he looks really gaunt. He may LOVE Space... but...

It's the GHOST in him that loves Space. The Astronaut. The Kid who refused to die, who ate a PORTAL TO THE EVERYTHING and crawled out still exsistant, who told Death not only "not today" but "not EVER"? That kid had something to protect. Was and is and always will BE, protection. Himself, his friends, his family or the town. Doesn't matter WHAT it is.

He refused to go, so he could protect them.

The part that DID, though, was starlight. And yeah, he needs it. Feeds it desperately. But it... doesn't exactly support his human half, you know? Doesn't anchor him. Make him want to eat and sleep, be human and alive, connect with people.

Space makes him ghosty.

Dani ultimately convinces him, after spraying him down with a hose and shoving a cheeseburger down his face, to move to Metropolis with her. They get ALIENS! Have Aliens HEROS! BIG DESTRUCTIVE FIGHTS. With lots and LOTS of people who need help! Plus? Gotham is within a day trip!

And UNLIKE Gotham, the Ecto isn't RANK AF in Metropolis.

Seriously, it smells like a burst sewer pipe over there.

Danny agrees. Can totally afford a modest lil place thanks to some patents. Makes one HELL OF A SCENE moving in. With his giant, ominous, futuristic, weirdly day glow green glowing bank of super computers... in this, "we love our Alien Blorbo" Metropolis.

Cause Green and Glowing sure ain't welcome round these parts! No SIR! Somebody call the COPS!

Danny isn't even half way through, when Superman lightly touchs down, a forced grin plastered to his face. The "please, God, not another Rogue. Not a new one. Please!" all but RADIATING off him.

Hmmmmm....

Danny... kiiiinda forgot not everyone was as "I see fuckin NOTHING, man" as Amity natives. Awkward. Welp! Fenton Oblivious Gene's, ACTIVATE!

"Oh, HIIIIIII~☆ Superman! What brings you round these parts? Gosh, it's an honor! Dani! Come meet SUPERMAN!"

Clark knows what he's doing. Danny knows, Clark knows what he's doing. They are both from the Midwest. They ain't gonna break first! You kidding? Clark still has to ask. Inserts himself by INSISTING on helping. A welcome to Metropolis! Ha ha! (How long we gonna lie for, kid? How long? I can do this all day.)

Clark? Learns that Danny has become ABSURDLY knowledgeable about terraforming, spacecraft, aerospace engineering and anything else related to Space Survival. Thanks to... his "games".

Which Clark is PRETTY sure? Are creatively set up, alien, training programs. Cause both of the Fentons are DEFINITELY at least partially non-human. But, eh. Who is he to judge? The "mad scientist" vibe, though... THAT is his to judge. Which he does.

Routine check ins!

And pasta bakes. Because good lord, Fenton, you are skin and bones! And? If it helps with both Watchtower maintenance AND some killer articles? Because Danny is a fountain of Space related knowledge who loves to share it? That's between Clark and the weird, semi-feral, gremlin he's adopted! (Yes, honey, he KNOWS Danny is a grown man. But I did it with BRUCE-)

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @legitimatesatanspawn @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation @the-witchhunter

[beansprean]

beach episode when???

....you can really tell we're in hiatus, huh.

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1. Full body of the whole household standing on the beach at night. From left to right we have: Colin Robinson, dressed in a beige speedo, striped brown bucket hat, white socks, and leather sandals, smiling and holding the Nadja doll in the crook of his elbow. He is completely hairless. Dolly, Nadja, and Laszlo are dressed in matching vintage bathing suits, a black one piece with red polka dots at booty short length with a sweetheart neckline and thin shoulder straps. They also all have matching wedge shoes in the same color. Dolly has all her hair pulled up in a high bun with a pink flower tucked on the left side and is wearing a pink coverup. She is smiling easily in Colin's arms with her hinged knees pulled up daintily. Nadja stands with her hair in the same style, dark leg hair free to the wind, holding a clear green inner tube under her right arm and her left hand laced with Laszlo's. She looks excited to be back on a beach and is smiling, peeking over at her husband from the corner of her eye. Laszlo peeks back with a grin of his own, twirling a lacy parasol over his shoulder with his free hand. The neckline of his swimsuit shows off some moderate chest hair. His hair is up in a bun and he has a red kerchief tied gayly around his neck. Standing slightly in front is Nandor, hands on his hips, wearing what looks like either a wrestler's leotard or an extremely skimpy one piece swimsuit. Brick red, cut high in the leg and low at the chest to show off maximum body hair, of which there is a relative forest. He also has the same ring necklace and leather arm brace he wore to the gym along with knee high leather boots. On the far end is Guillermo, dressed in flipflops, plain blue swim trunks, and a white tee shirt. He has a soft cooler strapped over his shoulder and is holding an ornate long-handled feather fan in both hands, which he is flapping continuously by the side of Nandor's head. Nandor has a vaguely annoyed expression, hair blowing around and into his face, and says, "That is enough fanning, now, Guillermo." Guillermo, who is tomato-red and nervously looking everywhere except at his housemates, doesn't seem to hear.

2. Nandor, soaking wet and leaning over to squeeze out his hair with both hands, steps up next to Guillermo to ask "Guillermo, will you not get in the water?" He is surrounded by sparkles and Guillermo looks away with red cheeks and a pained smile, holding his hand up as if warding off the shine. He replies, "No, thank you. I'm good."

3a. Nandor shouts, "Nonsense!" and with a big fangy grin he tosses Guillermo up in the air, spinning towards the ocean. Guillermo, upside down in midair, looks understandably shocked. 3b. Close up on a big sploosh in the sea as Guillermo makes his landing, Nandor standing on the beach in the background with a big grin, hands proudly on his hips.

4a. Close up on Guillermo as he breaches the sea with a gasp, standing up in the waist-high water with his arms spread out in surprise, eyes wide and angry as he catches his breath. His white shirt is now see through and plastered to the skin of his belly and chest, dark nipples visible through the fabric. He shouts, "Nandor, what the fuck!!" 4b. Close up on Nandor in profile as he watches Guillermo heatedly from the beach, biting his lip with a small smile as his cheeks flush purple. Offscreen, Guillermo shouts "Wha- my glasses, where are my glasses?!" In the background, Nadja and Laszlo are reclined together on a towel under the parasol, watching Guillermo with mild interest. Laszlo has dug out a pair of opera glasses to see better. At their feet, Dolly is buried to her neck in sand with two large bucket-shaped sand boobs above her chest. On their far side is Colin, sitting cross-legged on the sand and slathering sunscreen uselessly over every exposed bit of skin. He grins over toward Guillermo and shouts back, "Looking good, Gizmo!" /end ID

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Can I request either mafia restaurant or vampdrew (whichever you are more in the mood for) please?

WIP Wednesday (4/17) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 111)

“I will figure something out,” Andrew says, waving his hand. “I figured out what to do with you, remember?”

“Yeah, you told me. That’s what I’m afraid of. I mean, we don’t know Neil,” Kevin says with a look on his face that makes Andrew laugh. ‘WE?’ Andrew wants to ask incredulously, but he supposes Kevin is part of his family now. So he refrains. 

“I had only known you a handful of days before we made our deal,” Andrew reminds him. Eight days, to be precise. Eight days for a starving man to avoid a buffet. Pretty admirable, Andrew believes. It took a great deal of restraint on his part. And a great deal of help from Nicky and Aaron.

“Because you read my mind. You knew I didn’t have anywhere else to go and that I wouldn’t go blabbing your secret to everyone who would listen. Neil’s mind is off limits. We don’t know what he’d do if he found out and I can’t fucking lose you over him!” Kevin says, raising his voice and keeping his eyes locked on Andrew’s face.

When he realizes what he’s said, Kevin swallows and looks away— feeling foolish for his outburst. Andrew is almost touched by this fit of misplaced jealousy. Kevin putting all his cards on the table, even when none of them match? It’s… endearing. Almost.

“You’re not going to lose me, you idiot. If worse comes to worse, I’ll just eat him,” Andrew says, giving a fangy grin at the idea. Yes, he’s so close. Killing him would solve our problem, wouldn’t it?

“No.” Kevin shakes his head. Andrew briefly worries he’d said that last part aloud, but Kevin continues, “We can’t lose Neil either. He’s the only half-decent striker who’d sign with this disaster of a team.”

“Fine,” Andrew shrugs. “Then I’ll just get over it.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll try exposure therapy.”

“What are you saying?” Kevin tilts his head to the side and Andrew’s eyes latch onto his carotid. What he’d give to latch his mouth to that spot…

“I’m saying,” Andrew begins, swallowing the desire to attack his… best friend. “I’ll come to the court with you and Neil. I know you’re planning to drag him there every day, by the ankles if necessary. That includes today. So… I will go with you.”

Kevin’s heart thuds. “Will you play?”

“Don’t ask me stupid questions,” Andrew scoffs. “I will come and sit in the stands and watch you yell at him. If I spend enough time around Neil and his stupid fucking blood, he’ll stop smelling so good.”

‘That didn’t work with me…’

“It did. To an extent.”

Kevin still doesn’t look convinced of this plan. “And what if seeing him run around the court possesses you into chasing him like in Millport?”

Andrew feels his mouth stretch into a smile as he imagines it. “Then I hope he’s fast.”

[besamehyuka]

Let’s Keep Her: Truck Load

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SCENES WHICH MAY BE UNPLEASANT FOR SOME READERS! SUCH AS; INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING, WORDS, ACTIONS AND PHRASES. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SMUT/MAFIA/ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES; DO NOT READ!!

(ALL PARTS)          NEXT

“Get your filthy hands off me!” You demanded. However, Chan’s strength only grew as he clenched your waist tighter and tighter, almost as if he didn’t want you to leave him. Almost as if your bodies were made for each other. 

He couldn’t tell you yet, but you were destined for him. You were made for his touch, for his strong arms, for his mark. His mating mark, for his long teeth to skim over every part of your body, until you pleaded. Until you begged for him, until you screamed. 

You could sense he was thinking, but about what? On the way to where ever he was dragging you, he had explained to you exactly what he was. A vampire, something only written and romanticized in books. A monster.

A blood ripping, throat gnawing, heart wrenching devourer. You couldn’t believe it. He was real, his kind was real. He was a myth. A legend. 

But that myth, that fable, was now kidnapping you, taking you as prisoner, claiming you, and throwing you in the back of a large truck. Your eyes widened. “No!” You yelled, punching at his arms at his chest, at anything. Wanting to free yourself from this torment, from this hell.

But it’s almost as if your heavy blows and kicks were nothing to him, he took them, ate them, savored them. He enjoyed them, was all you could describe as he threw you into the back, giving out orders as he smirked back at you.

“Why do you always pick the loudest bitch possible?” Another male spoke, his voice softer, but filled with less amusement and more annoyance.You couldn’t believe it. 

These men had just kidnapped you, and they had the nerve to say you were being too loud. If only you had a wooden stake, you would shove it deep into his heart, give him a lesson. Make them pay. Instead, you gave him a glare, and opened your mouth.

“Watch your mouth, Pig!” You yelled at him, looking at him dead in the eyes, holding his glare as his annoyance turned into something of amusement, but that soon faded. “I’m not going to let you do what you think you’re going to do.” You stated boldy. With that the shaggy haired man laughed, coldly.

“I’m sorry, but I think you forgot the point where, you don’t have a fucking choice.” 

“Minho, Seungmin, hold her back here while me and Chan go catch up with Changbin and the others. We’ll be back in a few. When we come back, the truck will start and we’ll all head home. If you touch her, you know what’ll happen.” The blonde haired man reappeared again, voice still deep as the sea, as he looked at you, a smirk lingering across his fangy grin.

“Alright Felix, whatever you say.”

Alright, three names to go with faces. 

You thought.

Not that it matters.

Your eyes fell to the sight of a younger looking male, his pale skin wasn’t that much paler than those around him, but you could tell he wasn’t a vampire. He didn’t have the features of those. He was more gentler. Much more kinder looking. His features were those of a puppy, his eyes soft, his lips a pale pink, full of color, a tale sign he was indeed human.

I thought they were all vampires, what is he doing here? Another prisoner?

Your thoughts shifted as you felt eyes on the back of your head. Whipping around you were met with Minho. His cold green eyes taking in the sight of you, wondering why they didn’t just off your head like they were supposed to. 

Wondering why you were so special. Surely it wasn’t because of your looks, or your blood type. You were normal. He just huffed, crossing his arms in an aggravated sigh.

“Why is there another human here?” You asked, causing Minho to lift his head, traveling out of his daze.

“What?”

“Why is there another human here? Is he a prisoner or something?” You asked pointing at Seungmin as Minho only chuckled. 

“You’re mistaken.”

“He sure looks like a human to me.”

Seungmin heard all of this, but kept quiet, he didn’t care, he actually could care less. He wasn’t fazed, and he just learned to hold his tongue. He shifted himself along the cold truck wall. 

“Well he isn’t, we aren’t just a coven of vampires, but of course you wouldn’t know that.” Minho chuckled, eyes rolling in the back of his head. “You humans know nothing, just like you probably think bigfoot isn’t real.”

“Come again?”

“See. Think you know everything.”

Just as you opened your mouth to speak a loud slap on the back of the truck startled you, and after a few seconds of waiting in complete silence, the truck rumbled to life, and speeding down what you thought was a highway.

[save-slot-a]

"Okay so my newfound life instructions said that I can't eat or drink... Which honestly? Not mad about at all considering it usually just gets in the way of my productivity! I will miss having meals with my loved ones for a little bit, but it's only temporary! For right now, all I can do is experiment with the limits of this form!"

Crowley seems to be taking to his new gargoyle form... Shockingly well. There's a manic gleam in his agate eyes as he grabs his documentation notebook and starts scribbling, "Dulled senses of touch due to stone form... Can't taste... Doesn't need to eat or drink... Tail is prehensile... Surprisingly light body form, capable of flight..." He pauses to tap his pen against the crack in his chin, "I could try to break off small pieces of my body and glue them back on to see if I'll regain control of them over time..."

He clicks his pen and chucks it behind him with a shrug and a fangy grin, "Welp! It'd be a waste of time and bastard energy if I didn't go around and scare my friends shitless like this. If anything goes wrong, I can't die for once so I'm fucking stoked to just let SUPER loose. Footloose even. Kicking off my Sunday shoes... If I was wearing them in the first place!"

He extends out his grippy talons with even more jubilee on his face before taking off into the sky. IT'S TIME TO BE A MENACE!

[pickel182]

Shadowheart and Astarion banter, because I love them so much 😭 Ch2 of This is a Gift

Astarion considered her shift in mood and decided to change his approach. He made a show of looking as poorly as possible to complain, “But darling, I’d only just started supper… before getting distracted.” He made his eyes as large and sad as possible as he wrung his hands, the very image of contrition.

Tav turned her eyes heavenward, either for an intervention, or forgiveness for being so fucking weak, she wasn’t sure which.

She sighed. “Only what you need, and then sleep. Agreed?”

He nodded solemnly, one hand on his chest.“ Cross my heart, and hope to…” he trailed off, before adding with a smirk, “well, I’ll be good.”

She shook her head at his terrible joke and smiled despite herself. “Come on then. Shadow has first watch, so you can finish up in my tent and then I’m going to bed.”

Yes! He thought to himself. He couldn’t contain his fangy grin, and gestured with a flourish for Tav to lead the way. He valiantly fought and lost to the urge to stick out his tongue at the cleric.

Shadowheart scoffed. “In your tent?” So eager to offer yourself to our lady of loss? Suit yourself then. See you tomorrow…I hope.” She narrowed her eyes at Astarion and added under her breath, “fucking leech.”

“Cultist bitch.” He replied with a wink. Maybe Astarion liked her after all.

[thessalian]

Astrid vs The Gribblies

We were heading for the goblin camp, but got waylaid

Astrid: Are you sure we're going the right way? I'm not sure we're going the right way.

Astarion: You are the only one of us who knows anything about wilderness survival. You tell us.

Astrid: Well, we were headed this way because you kept looking this way! Why--? Oh.

Hyena Corpses: *bleeding everywhere*

Astrid: Are you sure you want to snack on these? You don't know where they've been.

Hyena: I'mma become OTHER now!

Astrid: Wait. What? How? Also why?

Gale: She just lives on Speak With Animals potions, doesn't she?

Hyena: *basically explodes*

Entire party: GAAAAH WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Hyena: *starts turning into a gnoll*

Astrid: *very quickly stabs proto-gnoll*

Other nearby hyenas: *start looking like they're about to follow suit*

Astrid: Gale?

Gale: ...yes?

Astrid: Does this mean I owe Wyll an apology about saying how ... exploded gnoll corpses everywhere meaning it was okay to kill that tiefling?

Gale: A fascinating philosophical conundrum for when we aren't fighting for our lives.

Astrid: Oh. Right.

Astarion: How do you reckon she'll insult these? I think they like being foul, so--

Astrid: *Vicious Mockery voice* BAD DOG!

Nearby hyenas: *whimper*

Astrid: Surprised that worked. Hyenas are feliform, so--

Astarion: Do all bards just know everything?

Astrid: We pick up bits and pieces; it's a thing.

Back in Moonhaven

Shadowheart: What are we doing back here? Aren't we pushing our luck a little?

Astrid: Maybe but we need healing potions so I'm going to raid the apothecary and-- Oh. Hello, trapdoor in the floor.

Astarion: We're going on another adventure, aren't we. I am not cleaning it up, either way.

Some looting and a secret lever later

Astrid: Why are their coffins down here?

Coffins: *randomly explode*

The Zombies: *are coming*

The Zombies: *are actually skeletons*

Controller Person: *just wanted to make the Plants vs Zombies joke*

Astrid: Shadowheaaaaaart...

Shadowheart: I think I'll take a leaf from your book, Astrid. *Turn Undead resonance* FUCK OFF, YOU WALKING XYLOPHONES.

Undead: *turned*

Astarion: Well, you have those handled. Do we really need to loot these things? Their weapons are crap, so you're aware.

Astrid: If I have to carry any more, I am turning one of the local bugbears into a pack mule, so not really.

Astarion: Very well; I may not have your resources for it, but here's something I've wanted to try. *ahem* Yeet. *shoves skeleton off a cliff*

Astrid: From the diaphragm, Astarion!

Astarion: *fangy grin* There's just no pleasing you, is there?

Stabnation: *ensues*

Later, past a somewhat mouthy mirror

Shadowheart: This man was obsessed with necromancy.

Astarion: Oh, joy. More digging, one assumes.

Astrid: Less digging, more ... lockpicking and traps.

Shadowheart: Or we could just use this key that matches that door.

Astrid: ...So ... just traps, then?

Astarion: You only want me for my clever fingers, you naughty thing.

Astrid: You know the sexual innuendo's supposed to be my whole thing, right?

A fair bit later

Gale: So we need some kind of stone to open that book and-- Um. Why are you investigating a well? The last one we found was full of corpses, and we have enough water.

Astrid: Which is good, because there's no water in this. *peeks* Looks like there's something down there *deep breath* Really wish I'd learned Feather Fall... *starts climbing down the bucket rope*

Gale, Shadowheart, Astarion: *exchange looks*

Gale: Oh, come on. How bad could it possibly be?

A largeish cave, containing the Grandmother of All Phase Spiders

Gale: ...Ah. That's how bad it could possibly be. Though I am curious as to how she's going to insult these things--

Astrid: *Vicious Mockery resonance, still oddly cheerful* YOU'RE ADORABLE!

Grandmother of All Phase Spiders: *screeeeeeech of pain*

Grandmother of All Phase Spiders: *hatches minions*

Astrid: *still Vicious Mockery resonance, still oddly cheerful* BABIES! I JUST WANT TO HUG ALL OF YOU!

Astarion: Does that... How does that actually work?

Gale: Let's just be glad it does. IGNIS! *torches a spider hatchling*

A lot of poison- and acid-related bullshit later, back in the sun

Astrid: So ... this amethyst looks like it goes into this mouth here...

Book: *opens*

Astrid: *reads*

Gale; Astarion: *both disapprove* WHAT IN THE HELLS ARE YOU DOING?!?

Shadowheart: Relax. It'll be fine.

Gale: I can assure you from near-personal experience that it is not--

Astrid: *closes book* Ew. No, you probably shouldn't read this. It's kind of manky. Right. Onward to goblin camps and herosim!

Gale: Are ... you alright?

Astrid: Should ... I ... not be?

Shadowheart: I doubt there's much that could get rid of her cheerfulness.

Astarion: I think that turning into a mind flayer might do it.

Gale: ...Wouldn't it be funny if it didn't, though? A sweet, kind, and cheerful illithid would be a thing to see--

Astarion, Shadowheart: *both slap Gale upside the head*

Gale: It is academic interest! Probably less serious than you and Astrid discussing what our respective bloods might taste like.

Shadowheart: ...You what.

Astarion: She was very complimentary about yours, actually. But said she'd prefer Gale's. A refined palate or a particularly subtle bit of innuendo, I couldn't say.

Astrid: Hello? Goblins? Goblins need to be splat?

Gale: ...Thank you for saving me from having to respond to that.

[ronmanmob]

Continued from (x) with @tarnishedhalo​

The prompt and question earned Ron one of those exceedingly rare full and unguarded smiles that both emphasized that Beth wasn't the only one of the Rileys who was fangy, and that brought to life his own deep dimples. The way he turns his head causes the bar lamps to cast him in golden light, tarnishing his dark hair with its natural blonde highlights. The tip of his tongue rolls against the back of his teeth.

"Yeah, okay, Rawnie," the New York Irish drawl of his friend's name is nothing he can help, but it's still a intimate step-up from the the whole 'Kray' part. As if he's never known anyone to have a given name. Of course Riley keeps a list in his head of qualities both good and bad. Each of them slivers beneath the usually pristine veneer he wears though his hair's getting a touch long, and he's not been too careful with the razor.

"The pro is...I know like hundreds of different love songs, any genre or era you like, an' not just American ones." He spreads his hands on the table-top, gives them a flex. "Acoustic, electric...can play any guitar.  Can play the piano, drums ~including the bodhran. Violin. Harmonica. And everyone loves a music man, right? Plus I'm hell in the kitchen, and I'm house-broken." He doesn't elaborate on what that last means but delivers it with a chuckle.

"The Con? I'm old-fashioned. I don't really do one night stands, and I'm very careful who I let in my inner circle. Introducing someone into the family can be hard, what with my sister, and because it takes me a while to get used to someone new. Especially after havin' danced with the Devil and the mess she made when we divorced. Also...I'm told I'm bossy as fuck, take with a grain of salt or three." There's a split second where he's unguarded and there's something fairly young and vulnerable resting against the back of his eyes that shades the rest of his mien. It gets shrugged off with a lift of his whiskey, and a snake-like strike at the next card in the pile. "Hypothetically speaking, if you could ask your future self one question, what would it be, and why?"

Ever the attentive listener, Ron followed the eddies and swells of his pal’s answer with obvious interest - flicker-smiles and little half nods in all the right spots through the narrative. He’d heard enough about the man’s dance with what he called the Devil not to need to ask and ruin the mood. Note of her earned a scowl’s implication, but it died away before it or she could sour the mood. The rest - the pros and the con - were all sunshine and even numbers and known of by the publican too. He and Riley went back a little ways now. He’d met the music man and the master chef, and the bossy fucker too, by ‘n by. And for all there were times they’d butt heads, he did like him. 

Ron watched Riley’s hands as he reached for the next card; sipped his drink - G&T with ice and cucumber - as the question on it was put to him. A grinning response came instantly-

“This week’s lot’ry numbahs, aye?”

-and was spoke through as snigger as Ron leaned in a companionable couple of inches, as if he was sharing a sneaky little secret between just them two. That snigger kicked up for a couple’a beats, then eased away as Ron waved the comment off with his free hand. He had no real use for those numbers now, much as the penniless lad he still was at his core would’ve done things unspeakable once upon a time for a sudden lift out of poverty for himself and his family. Now-Ron though, present day Ron-- His wants and needs meandered down different paths and so, because of this, did his curiosities.

“--I fink” he said, the relative slowness of how he shared what he went on to indicative of the depth at which he felt it within himself. “Onest ‘n true ‘n not jokin’ no more...I’d ask if I was ‘appy...Money, yeah?...It don’t bring yah ‘appiness. It...smooves th’way t’makin’ a life tha’ll make yah ‘appy, bu’ it don’t bring it in i’self.” A slight, consideratory pause came on. It bought on a moment’s silence that ended with a fractional nod, Ron’s commentary picking up from where it’d broken off more seamlessly than it often did. “I know tha’ now, where I didn’t b’fore...So I’d wanna know if I made it in a way tha’ mattahs, as well as in a way tha’ don’t mattah so much, grand scheme.” 

A sip from his G&T was the period on that thought, Mr Flippant Sniggers coming right on back to the fore as glass met table and Ron went for the next card on the pile between ‘em.

“Right-” A glance at the card over his glasses so he could dictate its query. “-Name one’a your ‘eroes ‘n tell us why they’re one.”

[normallyxstranger]

Fictober22 (@fictober-event​) Day 28 — "We all have our reasons."

featuring Wade Wiley — a character from The New Ashton Chronicles, written & role-played by F.R. Southerland (@normallyxstranger​ | @frsoutherlandauthor​ | www.frsoutherland.com) © November 2022

original fiction

general warnings: strong language, gambling mention, alcohol use, vampire violence mention, blood

     Drops of blood fell on the playing cards that had spilled onto the floor in the scuffle. The winning hand was all there in black and white and red, the money in the pot spread across the table. He won the round, but he lost it too. Wouldn’t be collecting a damn thing.

     Wade wiped blood from his mouth, then picked up his glass of whiskey. He finished it off in one gulp, and did the same with his opponent’s. It sure did taste fine. Damn, he should’ve ordered the whole bottle. There’d been a lot in the man’s blood already, which he liked all right. It got him all good and mellow—but it wasn’t nothing compared to oak-barrelled richness of the undiluted shit.

    Ah, well. He’d grab a bottle to go on the way out. He’d earned it.

    Broken glass crunched under his boots as he stepped to the table and picked up the cash. He took the bills, left the coins, then turned to his victim sprawled on the floor. 

     “You asked me ‘why?’ right b’fore the fightin’ and the bitin’ —well, I got the answer for you.” Wade crouched down. The guy was still alive, but just barely. Conscious, too, judging from those wide blue eyes darting around. He wouldn’t be moving again. Too weak. Too much blood taken. He’d be lucky to live long enough for Wade to finish talking. 

     Leaning over him, he fished about in his pockets for the fat wallet he’d shown off a bit ago. He pocketed the remaining cash and tossed the leather thing aside. “The answer is… I’m an asshole.” His mouth worked into a fangy grin. “But why am I an asshole? Eh. We all have our reasons. Sure you got yours too. Ain’t gotta look too deeply at it. I ain’t askin’; I don’t give a fuck. Maybe you shouldn’t’ve either.”

     By the time he righted himself, the man’s eyes had stopped moving. They now stared up at him empty and lifeless. 

     “But I guess it don’t matter much now, does it?” Shaking his head, Wade slipped on his jacket and headed out.

[aelfgiure]

"I BEG your pardon?" You manage to sputter and not drop the caffeh. "I admit to being a good time, sure, but a drug?"

The officer sighs. They pull a pad and stylus from one of their uniform pouches,and you can't help the grin that crosses your face. "Some things really are universal, huh. Good to know."

"Human, how long have you known this miscreant?" The officer's voice is fascinating, the bass rumble with overtones a pleasure to hear.

"Ah, I met them at Frood's Grill, right by the debarcation for Pollux IV, two jumps out from Deneb," you explain, thinking back over your route. "They admired my tattoos, we started chatting, I was headed towards their system and wanted some company since my copilot had to head back for a family emergency."

"Hmm." The officer taps their claws on the surface of the data pad. "Name of copilot?"

You tell them, looking around for your friend. Off down the corridor, snarling and shouting drift from one of the rooms marked Customs. The officer hums to themself, tapping away. This is the longest you've been stopped at a port since you started trading, so you console yourself that it's just part of the job.

"Do you have your manifest?" It's phrased as a polite request, but you know an order when you hear one.

You pull the scruffy pad out of your pouch and hand it over, cheerfully enough. "Should be up to date as of docking, officer. I'll answer any questions you have."

After all, you're running legit cargo. You have nothing to hide. You're a jump out from your third stop, the cTheet'ckz merchant had ordered a short ton of dark chocolate and was paying with soulfire gems. Both of you thought you were getting a better deal than the other, so that made it fair, right?

"I appreciate your cooperation, Trader. Come with me, please, I'll let you in on what you escaped." The officer hands you back the manifest, gesturing to the customs office with two of their arms. The other two hold onto your pad and theirs.

That terminology rocks you back. "What I escaped?" you question as you hustle to keep up. "Ah, damn, am I in trouble?"

The officer settles you onto a comfy couch and offers a refill of your caffeh before sitting next to you with a spread of data pads. "You avoided trouble. Look at this - "

It's a collection of ID pictures of humans. Pilots, traders, medics, all the occupations that humans did in space. One thing they all have in common is that they're marked MISSING. All of them listed as having last confirmed jump point here, at this station.

And all of their ships listed as having your friend as a relief copilot.

"What the chicken fried fuck...?" The blood in your veins feels like it's congealed into ice, your stomach roiling with the sick uneasiness that's bouncing through your mind.

"The Zing-bak are fond of certain biochemical compounds; dopamine, adrenaline, certain neuropeptides unique to humans. Your copilot changed the coordinates for the jump. Instead of docking at cTheet' station, you would've put in at Far Reach. Out on the edge of this system."

The officer keeps their voice sympathetic while you work through your shock. "So, that means Tacks was in on it too?"

They nod. "Yes. It is our shame that we took so long to find the common threads in these disappearances, this Tacks used multiple IDs as did your copilot. We might have missed you if you hadn't listed your destination on the manifest." The officer's eyelids blink, both sets. "Attention to detail saved you. And other humans.

"There's a reward out, by the way, you're getting a good stack of galactic credits, Trader. Plus the gratitude of the families-"

You interrupt the officer. "That's not important. What's going to happen to these fucking traffickers?"

The officer grins. It's fangy, and somehow makes you incredibly glad it's not directed at you. "They're going to be dealt with, as soon as we get a ship here to transport the troops."

Huh. Okay. You sip your caffeh, and realize you can't just leave this undone.

"Goddamn. So, if I can stow my cargo here, those fuckers are expecting my ship in the next couple of rotations. The New Hope is big enough for a company. At least."

The officer gives you a look, measuring you up. You pull out your OTHER data pad and slide it over to them, your own grin growing into a duplicate of the officers. "I did security myself, back in the day. Still have the license, kept it up to date for Terra and Outward, just in case."

A look of understanding, and the officer grasps your arm, chuckling in a way that makes you glad to be on their side. "Yes. This is the perfect cover. The station will cover the storage fees, of course, and the station council will help you recover any losses from a long delay. Come, let me take you to our armory, get you set up."

"Always glad to help, officer." You rise to your feet, already planning on ways you're going to make Tacks regret every life choice he's ever made. "Let's go book 'em, Danno."

Uou stare in disbelief with space coffee in hand as your new alien friend is currently being detained for smuggling drugs over the zing-bak border, when you go to ask the border officer what drugs was he being accused of smuggling he simple puts a claw to your chest and says “you!”

[evilminji]

I just Literally Galaxy Brained :D???

Oh? My? God?

So here I am, on a Star Wars kick, when I Ponder my beloved Danny Phantom. As ya do! Who? I wonder? Could I mix into the star wars universe?

WHEN IT HITS ME.

You know who LOVES kids? Just... will Burn Down Planets for this kid they literally JUST met? Mandolorians. Know where you can find a SHIT ton of those, genetically? The GAR!

Those are CLONES, baby! WE got a Clone! She's feisty and adorable! Smol! Bites! Got them big ol tooka eyes and itty bitty hands! Likes to fly, explore, and fight! She's BASICALLY born for this!

Tell me they would collectively look at this tiny feral child, with her poofy lil hair and chubby cheeks, fangy lil grin and biting tendcy, and go "is BABY!" Come on, tell me. I'll call you a liar.

And you KNOW the Force and Ectoplasm are probably messy EXs. Dani could TOTALLY use they "why should you allow me in? .....because they're not the boss of you" argument to GREAT effect.

Here, Skywalker. Kenobi. Watch this mysterious child... foooooor.... uh, Reasons! Yes. I, the Force, definitely have valid reasons for doing this! I am NOT just being a petty bitch! #SoundsLegit

But? Gasp! The child is a Cadet?! A BABY Clone! Of WHO? A legendary warrior king, from what context they can gather. Made by his enemy. Sent to kill him. Forgiven then adopted. Ooooh, lots of life lessons there. Clone rights and forgiveness and such.

But more IMPORTANTLY, to the GAR?

BABY CLONE! Is BABY!!!

We are ALL Buir now! All of us. Biggest family in the galaxy. Dani is cool with it, congrats New Fenton's! On the Be-Fenton-ing! Tremble in FEAR, scrubs! It's OUR HOUSE NOW!! Mwahahahaha! *cackles from her perch on top of a table*

But... wait... what is that glowing stuff that you're getting low on?

Oh? This? New beloved Highly Unhinged Jedi Friends and Clone Dads? Oh it's just my LIFE SAVING MEDICINE that I NEED TO LIVE that I never told you about! :D

*horrified silence*

*PANIC*

It's okay. It's OKAY! Everybody STOP SCREAMING! W-well just reverse engineer... *machine makes the equivalent of a Dunno noise* FUCK! Okay! New plan! Dani, sweetie, lil warrior, what do you remember about your medicine? What does it DO, exactly?

Unstable clone.

Okay! Okay, that's a start! THEY are stable clones. Right? Right!

.........r-right? Are... are they SURE? Cause, I mean, it's ONE thing when it's just THEIR health on the line... but when it's their YOUNGLING? Their lil tooka Dani? Their ade? Are they SURE? How sure. Bet HER life on it sure?

....no. No they are not. They don't trust the long necks NEARLY that much. Time do do a DEEP deep scan. Best they can find. They got to make SURE. Boba might be the only STABLE clone... assuming the sleemo even told the truth about that.

And? They LEARN some stuff.

Like about the chip in their head's. Supposedly an "inhibitor chip". Sends Skywalker into a karking rage, cause that looks a whole lot like a slave chip to HIM. Dani says they can CHECK. Then doesn't wait for an answer as she sticks her HAND into someone's head to just... pluck it out. Hand it over to be sliced.

Dani, sweetie, c-can you do that for the rest of us? Sure!

But! The race is ON. To either figure out how to contact the original, stabilize Dani, or synthesize Ectoplasm in a universe that DOES NOT HAVE IT. All while unknowingly? Absolutely Fenton CURB STOMPING Ancient Sith Plans into oblivion.

As is the Fenton Way.

This IS The Way~☆

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @spidori

[pesterloglog]

Terezi Pyrope, Karkat Vantas, Vriska Serket

Act 5, page 2178

But not too far into the present. Right around this moment, with Karkat and the toilet, during a conversation we have already read, which ended like this:

GC: OH BOY YOU N33D TO G3T W1TH TH3 PROGR4M K4RK4T

GC: H4V3 YOU T4LK3D TO 44

CG: 44 WHAT?

GC: 4POC4LYPS34R1S3N SORRY

CG: NO, OF COURSE NOT.

GC: OR T4

GC: OR 4G 1 GU3SS

GC: OR C4

GC: R34LLY TH3R3S L1K3 TH1S WHOL3 CONSP1R4CY 4BOUT TH1S

GC: 4S 1M F1ND1NG OUT

CG: WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME SO I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANY OF THOSE DOUBLETALKING ASSHOLES.

GC: 1 C4NT!

GC: 1 GOTT4 ST3P OUT OF TH3 TR33 FOR 4 MOM3NT

GC: WH3N 1 COM3 B4CK 1 W1LL 3NT3R TH3 G4M3

GC: CY4!

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

AG: Psssssssst.

AG: Hey 8rave leader.

CG: OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME.

AG: Can I join your team?

CG: YES I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, BECAUSE THERE IS A WIDE OPEN SLOT FOR THE MOST VILE BACKSTABBING SOCIOPATH WHO EVER LIVED.

CG: YOU REALLY HELPED ME OUT OF A JAM BY STEPPING FORWARD.

AG: Vile 8acksta88ing sociopath? Karkat, did you copy and p8ste that phrase directly from your personal ad descri8ing what you are looking for in a lady?

CG: HA HA HA!

CG: MORE CAGEY CUTESY BULLSHIT.

CG: LIKE I'M NOT UP TO MY LOBE STEM WITH THAT ALREADY HAVING TO DEAL WITH TEREZI.

CG: YOU BOTH MUST HAVE BEEN INSUFFERABLE WHEN YOU WERE A TEAM.

CG: YOUR OPPONENTS PROBABLY ALL JUST TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF PUTTING UP WITH YOUR FANGY GRINNED DRIVEL.

CG: THAT'S PROBABLY HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN WHEN THE SHIT HIT THE THRESHER.

AG: That's not a 8ad guess! 8ut man! Karkat you sure are giving me a hard time.

AG: I don't see how we're supposed to 8e 8ecoming friends if you recoil from my olive 8ranch like I'm twitching a mummified 8ovine phallus in your direction.

CG: BECOMING FRIENDS, WHAT THE FUCK.

CG: WE WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS, MORON.

AG: Not even h8 friends?

CG: NO. MORE LIKE TWITCHY EYED PROJECTILE VOMITING IN UTTER DISGUST FRIENDS, WHILE I PERFORATE MY BONE BULGE WITH A CULLING FORK.

AG: Yessssssss. I'll take it!

CG: GET LOST.

AG: Anyway, I was just joking a8out wanting to 8e on your team.

AG: I'm already on the 8lue team.

CG: OH! OH REALLY?????

CG: WAIT, LET ME COUNT OUT EIGHT OF THESE THINGS, HOLD ON. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

CG: THERE, I AM NOW AN ENORMOUS TOOL FOREVER.

AG: Yes, Aradia and I have an arrangement. We will 8e co-leaders.

AG: (But really I will 8e the leader! Heh heh. Shh! Don't tell anyone!)

AG: What do you think, Karkat? Can you take on two dangerous laaaaaaaadies at once?

CG: YAWN.

AG: Come on! Aren't you a little nervous that I will oppose you? You should 8e!

CG: NO YOU'RE JUST A RUN OF THE MILL LITTLE PSYCHO GIRL, A TROLL CAEGAR A DOZEN.

CG: I'LL BE TAKING APART THE BLUE TEAM WITH BRUTAL EFFICIENCY, YOU'LL SEE.

CG: YOU NEVER PLAYED ONE OF YOUR DUMB GAMES WITH ME SO YOU NEVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF SEEING WHAT I CAN DO.

CG: ENJOY THE SHOW, SWEETHEART.

CG: JUST DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING YOUR MIND CONTROL TRICKS ON MY PLAYERS.

CG: REMEMBER YOUR TRUCE?

AG: Pshhhhhhhh. Those days are far 8ehind me.

AG: Anyway, I can't control just any8ody. They've got to 8e impressssssssiona8le. Like you!

CG: YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME.

AG: Sure I can. I just choose not to.

CG: YEAH OK.

AG: I find your mind totally unpalata8le to 8rowse. Looking into your 8rain is like pawing through a smelly dumpster.

AG: Full of 8roken glass and razor 8lades!

AG: And poop. D::::

CG: WHATEVER, DON'T EVEN TRY IT.

CG: I'VE GOT THE BETTER SCOURGE SISTER ON MY TEAM AND IF YOU BREAK YOUR TRUCE YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER TO HER.

CG: THE FUNNY THING IS SHE WAS ALWAYS WAY BETTER THAN YOU EVEN WITHOUT ANY POWERS.

CG: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I KNOW YOUR WHOLE STORY.

CG: YOU WERE ALWAYS JEALOUS SHE COULD MANIPULATE PEOPLE SO WELL WITHOUT RESORTING TO CHEAP MIND TRICKS.

CG: HAHA, I CAN TELL THIS BURNS YOU AND I CAN'T EVEN PAW THROUGH YOUR DUMPSTER!

CG: CHALK IT UP AS ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY.

CG: OH WHAT'S THAT, NOTHING TO SAY?

CG: WOW SPEECHLESS I GUESS. YOU'RE PROBABLY CRYING RIGHT NOW. THAT WOULD MAKE MY FUCKING DAY.

CG: HEY LOOK AT ME BEING THE ONE TO TALK SHIT AT WARP SPEED THEN LOG OFF BEFORE YOU CAN REPLY.

CG: BYE, IDIOT.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

AG: Oh, 8ack so soon! Did your thum8 slip on the 8utton????????

AG: I guess you can't get enough of me.

AG: ::::)

CG: YOU MADE ME DO THAT.

CG: AND YOU KNOW IT.

AG: You 8n't got nothing on me and you can't prove shit!!!!!!!!

AG: Anyway, Karkat, I just wanted to say.

AG: <3

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

[lemonlushff-iy]

Do you want to play a game?

You do? Good.

You know how these games work if you’ve ever seen one of Clearwillow’s...but game rules are HERE since it’s slightly different! I hope this is fun for people...that was my goal! And I hope you catch the “Easter Eggs” in it. I’m curious how many people will find them all. 

I’ll post everything once it’s done on FFN and AO3, and you can catch what I’m doing for @clearwillow‘s game early on my Patreon HERE! (It might be more smut...It might be fluff. WHO KNOWS! It will be OLR related...and it will go up as soon as it’s finished!)

Special thanks to @underwater0phelia​ for kink help and @clearwillow​ for additional edits...and the IYFF BC for brainstorming! Art by @clearwillow​ for @eringobroke​ - used and edited with permission. 

And now without further ado... The first treat (aka, the “freebie”).

Starting Fires

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe.

"Inuyasha, stop," Kagome giggled, trying to wriggle out of his hold as he pressed wet kisses up her neck. "I don't want to burn your bacon…"

"It's just bacon," he reasoned, his hands sliding up under her shirt. Or should he say his shirt? Fuck...there wasn't a better sight in the world than his best friend...his best girl...Kagome...Wearing his shirt in their kitchen in their house. Now that he had her again, he weren't never letting go of her. "I don't mind eating something else for breakfast."

"You will when your stomach is rumbling later," she blushed, grabbing his hands and pulling them down, his fingers grazing over the lace fabric of her panties. "Behave yourself and go grab a cup of coffee."

"I'd rather grab your—"

"—Coffee!"

She reprimanded, flipping the bacon in the pan. He placed a gentle nip to the side of her neck before moving away from her, a disappointed pout on his lips.

"Fine. But let it be known that I'm doing it under protest," he grumbled, moving to his cabinet to pull out a mug.

"Your protest has been duly noted, Sir," she teased, turning away from the stove to pick up her own cup of coffee. She brought it to her lips, sipping from it as she watched Inuyasha pour himself some. Their life together felt so surreal still. It felt strange to wake up in their house and cook them breakfast.

But it was a good kind of surreal.

The kind where she found herself pinching her arm to make sure it wasn't all some crazy dream. This was their life. And...she loved it.

"Mmm," he moaned, taking a sip from his cup. "As good as ever, Kags," he grinned toothily, and she risked entering his personal space to press another kiss to his lips.

"Glad you like it," she replied, running away from him again when he moved to squeeze her ass. She removed their bacon and eggs from the pan as a text message chimed on both of their phones, and Inuyasha raised a brow in curiosity. She watched him slide his thumb across the screen, before muttering out a low "Huh" as he read the text.

"What is it?" she asked, picking up their plates and placing them onto the island.

"See for yourself," he shrugged, placing the phone down next to her plate. "It's from Sango."

That already piqued her curiosity. Kagome picked up the phone, leaning over the countertop as she read it.

"Hey Guys!" She began aloud. "Miroku and I decided to throw a Halloween party this year. We know it's a bit last minute, but we were hoping you guys could come since you aren't heading back out to California like you thought. Let us know if you can make it! Trying to plan in terms of food. Love you!"

"Love you too," he grinned, and she couldn't stop the shy smile even if she wanted to. She didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing that again from him. The words were like a balm to her soul.

"What do you think?" Kagome asked, handing him his phone back as he began digging his fork into his eggs.

"Up to you," he shrugged. He really didn't care either way. He was just glad he didn't have to go out to California with her. Though, to tell the truth, he wouldn't have minded. They could have had a night in...just the two of them...And he was always a fan of nights in with her. But..."We can go. I know you wanna…"

It was true too. He had seen the way her eyes lit up when she was reading that message. The way she was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kagome didn't want to spend the night in. She wanted to spend her first Halloween back in Montana at a party with old friends.

"But...You...Don't?"

He shrugged.

"Don't matter either way. I'm fine going. I'm fine staying home and fucking ya seven ways from Sunday."

"Yash!"

"What! It's tha truth," he replied with a smirk. "And you can't tell me ya don't like the sound of it," he continued, running his tongue over his fangs. The cute little blush he pulled from her was worth it.

"Well...How about a compromise?"

He paused, lifting his brow in curiosity.

"Go on…"

"What if we went to the party...Just for an hour or two...and then afterward we can come home and have sex? Oh! We can even wear couple's costumes again!"

The phrase couples costume made his butt clench so tight he could probably twist off a beer cap with his cheeks.

"I'll agree to go to the party...but not the couple's costume."

"But Yash," she whined, coming around the island to take his hands. "That's part of the fun…"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll wear something slutty?"

"N—" He began, ready to tell her no again when his brain processed her offer. "Keep talking."

"I'll wear something slutty and sexy?"

"...Uh-huh...And what else?"

"...And you get to take it off of me?"

He almost said yes...but he was a greedy fucker. He was probably gonna take it off of her even if she hadn't offered that.

"Do I get to do more than that?"

"You mean other than wear a matching outfit?"

"I do."

"Well," she began, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips in thought. "I'm assuming that sex is a given…"

"But you can say it anyway, and make it interesting," he shrugged. If he was going to get roped into this...because he was going to say yes, because he loved her...then he wanted to squeeze as much as he could out of this.

"Ok...If you do it, sex is on the table...and I'll also add you picking the place and position," she decided, causing his eyes to light up.

Place and position huh?

"Well...In that case Darling, you've got yourself a deal!"

Her childlike squeal and the way she giddily clapped her hands, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, made him feel like he made the right decision.

"Now let's talk costumes…"

He groaned, shaking his head and digging his fork into the eggs on his plate.

Then again...Maybe not…

He let her prattle on for a while, running different ideas past him...But he knew that it ultimately wouldn't matter. He was going to give in to whatever she wanted. If she wanted him to go as a hot dog, and she was going to be a bottle of mustard? That was what was going to happen. Wasn't sure how she could make it sexy...but sure. Her call. Prince and Princess? No fighting it. Batman and Catwoman…

It had piqued his interest, but she almost instantly changed her mind. The cowl would be uncomfortable for his ears.

So, she decided on a fireman and a dalmatian. He looked over at her phone when she held up a picture of the costume she had found for him and sighed.

"That's what you want?"

It didn't look too bad. And it looked like he could maybe get away with just wearing the pants. He was going to have to be sneaky about it though...He could do just a t-shirt and those pants.

"Please?" she beseeched, batting her long lashes at him. "It will be so cute! And you'll look so good!"

He tilted his head to the side, and she chewed the inside of his lip as she watched him roll her suggestion around in his head. She really liked the fireman outfit. She thought it would be fun! And he would look good in it too...She could already picture him slowly taking off the jacket to reveal his bare torso...the suspenders holding up his pants hanging limply at the sides as he slowly peeled himself out of—

"—What are you thinking about Kagome?"

She looked up at his face and saw him looking at her, a smirk stretching his lips as he limply held the phone, leaning down across the island.

"N-nothing," she blushed, swiping out to grab the phone from him, but he pulled it away from her at the last second.

"Nu-uh. I can smell it when you're lying…and I can smell it when you're—"

"—NOTHING!"

She insisted, grabbing the phone from him this time, and his grin turned predatory.

"Ain't nothing, or you wouldn't be smelling like that," he countered cheekily before his gaze began to darken. "Ya know...You don't have to keep that bottled up…"

"Inuyasha," she warned as he straightened, running his carefully filed and declawed fingers along the island countertop as he slowly came around to her side.

He was ignoring her, however.

"Kagome," he replied, closing in on her in just a few short strides. "Were you thinking about me in that fireman outfit?"

Sometimes she swore he could read her mind.

"N-no…"

"Liar," he purred, placing his hands onto the granite top on either side of her hips. He had effectively trapped her...and he was looking at her like prey.

It made her swallow because her mouth was suddenly dry. And made her lower abdomen heat. The intensity and desire in his gaze...the slight glint of fang in the morning light…

Fucking hell...She wanted to be his prey. Wanted to be captured and eaten and...eaten…

He inhaled deeply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lowly moaned, "Fuck Kags…"

"W-what," she swallowed, and his smirk widened into a fangy grin before his lips crashed into hers.

AN:

I WILL ONLY DO THIS WALL OF TAGS ONCE! All future treats will be completely hidden under cuts so I don’t spam everyone’s timeline with in your face kink!

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @i-dream-of-soup, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @animelove1313, @littlemissinukag​, @gofoulpuppycollector, @umacaking, @chanin29​,  @willowandfog​, @lebiishoujo​, @theinuyashareader​, @bluejay785​, @irrationalandimpossible​, @cstorm86​, @ruddcatha​, @desiree239​, @littledaisy91​, @liz8080​, @cannibalsforbreakfast​, @horriblehowl​, @arcprz​, @daisy-st-pati3nce​, @senneth-pendra​, @nsr0716​, @eringobroke​, @kagometaishostory​, @thisshipisbananahs​, @sunsetskys​, @ajoy3fanfics​, @sangoslays​, @v0dka-cat​, @cloudsz04​, @lavendertwilight89​, @yurawiththegoodhair​, @saturnsilence​, @lavaffair​, @blairex​, @fawn-eyed-girl​, @fandomobsessions016​, @neutronstarchild​, @preciouslyours​, @kalsies​, @shnuggletea​, @ladyphoenix0711​, @littlestuffstohide​

See you at 500 notes!!

[tinygamertris]

Rin Heartseer doesn't just get into bar brawls. Rin Heartseer starts bar brawls. Because he keeps catching people with really rancid intentions towards others and kicks the crap out of them before they can actually act on those intentions.

Rin Heartseer ends a lot of bar brawls with a fangy grin and a 'don't even fucking think about it asshole'.

Has your WoL ever been in a bar brawl?

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Dark Shenanigans - Nandor x (f)reader

Summary: It’s Nadja’s something hundredth birthday, with that said, you’re on a mission to make it great.

Warning: fluff, general vampire nonsense

Masterlist

“Yeah being a half vampire half human does have its perks. I mean for one I can do all that cool vampire shit and I can go out in the sunlight...so that helps for when they’re all being really annoying.” You admit with a casual shrug to one of the documentary cameras before turning to an isle of party supplies. “So anyways we’re at this store.”

The camera shifts to the multiple arras of supplies and materials at the local supermarket in Staten Island that you and your vampire lover’s human familiar, Guillermo, currently are. Specifically on the hunt for birthday decorations for Nadja and ghost Nadja who’s possessed a strange looking doll for the time being.

Since the other four actual full vampires can’t shop for themselves at this time of day or really in general, you and Guillermo have been given such an honorable task in making Nadja’s birthday the best one yet. Considering she’s the most well balanced in the head out of the four of them and is the only other lady of the manor.

“Hey Y/N, how’s this look?” Wonders Guillermo as he holds up a bunch of Mardi Gras beads of yellows, purples, and greens. “Comments, questions, concerns?” He adds with a small smile.

Eyeing up the beads, your head shifts over to the other various colors, “Hrmm, G I’m feeling the vibe you’re going for this year and I like it, but let’s go with Nadja colors.”

Guillermo’s dark eyes light up at your positive suggestion, “Right! So the red and black ones then?”

“Yup. She’ll love that shit.” You state with a satisfied nod of approval, “Let’s get some black and gold confetti from over there and oh, those masquerade masks look cool as fuck.”

You pick up and test out various masks in the background as Guillermo adds some bits of dialogue for the documentary crew, “Um yeah she’s really cool isn’t she.” He says with a smile while glancing at you then back to the camera, “Which is kind of odd since Y/N’s been with Nandor since 1793 so you’d think she’d be a little more like them but no, she’s super chill and really nice.” Suddenly his face goes a bit serious as he leans in to whisper, “But she did kill a whole street gang once when they threw a slur at me so I wouldn’t mess with her. For your safety.”

The camera pans back over to an oblivious you who’s put on a masquerade mask and is swinging a plastic light saber around with a whole lot more accuracy and grace then would a normal person. The camera then pans back to Gullimero, “Um, I’m just gonna....make sure she doesn’t smack anyone.”

——

Arms full of groceries of food for you and Gullimero, as well as random party decorations for Nadja’s birthday tomorrow night, you use the bottom of your boot to skillfully open the door as the documentary crew and Guillermo follows suit. Guillermo now on the verge of falling over with the large heart shaped pillow in his arms that’s covering most of his body.

You don’t feel tired in the slightest due to your half vampiric abilities so this is nothing to you, “Alright.” You state, turning on your heel to face the crew and Guillermo, “They’re asleep so we gotta be extra sneaky now, I don’t want Nadja catching us with all this cool spooky birthday shit. Everyone to the attic!” You whisper yell before leading the charge to the attic.

They all follow as quietly and as quickly as they can and then soon enough in no time are you and Guillermo back outside in the sunny garden trying to figure out if you should blow up the giant sea monster pool floaty.

“I mean it would look cool as hell and no doubt out-do whatever the fuck boring thing Lazlo probably has planned.” You quip with a shrug while the two of you stare thoughtfully at the small gloomy dark pond. “He’s got no chance with us. I’ve won best decorator and card maker for two hundred years in a row.”

Guillermo side eyes you in honest amazement, “Wow that’s a lot of years. And cards.”

“I know. I was an artist in the 12th century but my no good terrible good for nothing piece of garbage trash sexist human husband, who I was forced to marry when I was only sixteen, took all the credit for my artwork in that era.” You confirm with a growl, “But it stings less because once I finally grew into my powers and strength at eighteen I simply made his untimely demise look like an accident.” You add with a smirk.

“Oh, wow.” Mutters the intrigued familiar.

“Precisely. The old fool was thrown off his horse because I told Philip, the horse, to throw him off. And he did. Which killed the idiot so I got the house and all of his money.”

“That’s......neat.” Mutters Guillermo as he shoots the camera crew from behind you and him a nervous look. “Uh the suns going down so I should probably help Nandor out of his coffin.”

Raising your head to the sky you immediately see how the sun has begun to paint the clouds in beautiful colors of oranges, reds, light pinks, and darkening purples. “Oh, how bout that. Yeah alright let’s get inside.” You nod to Guillermo before turning to walk towards the manor’s giant mahogany doors.

——

Turning the handle and walking a couple feet into the large main room that holds itself as a sort of crossroads for all the other various connecting hallways and staircases. You don’t make it even three more steps towards the left ascending staircase before you hear the highly recognizable voice of your one and only.

“Y/N! My lovely wife and favorite person still ever so lovely!” Announces Nandor loudly with a grand smile showing off his pearly white fangs, “How I have missed you and your morning kisses. Where have you been off to?” He wonders softly as you smile a big dumb love-struck grin right back up at him, you’d absolutely die to hear that accent one last time.

“I can’t tell you right now it’s a secret!” You whisper yell back, causing his thick dark brows to scrunch up in confusion.

“But I am your lovely strong puff dragon Y/N.” Whines Nandor adorably as you roll your eyes at the cameras before looking back up at him.

“Fine. Come here then.”

In an instant he’s at your side, excitedly awaiting what secretive news you will tell him, “Okay, so we know it’s Nadja’s birthday tomorrow right?”

“Yes. I remember because she hasn’t shut up about it.”

“Right. So me and Gullimero got some fun surprise birthday party decorations and they’re in the attic and we can’t tell Nadja.”

Nandor gives you a knowing look of affirmation as he leans in closer to you, his demeanor suddenly shifting into a more saddened one, “You went shopping without me?” He says quietly.

Leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek your hands instantly find his, “Just for a little while, but I still need to find more stuff so....you wanna come?”

Nandor’s big dark eyes light up with joy as you hand him a kind smile, “Yes! Let us go in search of unknown treasures for our lady friend Nadja so she will not be mad at us for terrible dull gifts of friendship.”

Laughing you give his hands a playful squeeze, “Come on I’ll race you to Party City!” You say before leading him past the camera crew and Guillermo who simply watches the two of you leave, glad to have an hour of peace.

“There’s a whole city for partying? Y/N why have we never been to this place?”

——

“Y/N there are no people partying here.” Whines your vampire lover in puzzlement as he follows you from the entrance to a side isle. “You said this was a city for partying.”

“That’s just the name of the store Nans.” You retort with a small chuckle as he looks from right to left at all the color coded party plates and napkins galore.

“Well the title is very misleading.”

“Agreed.”

Turning to the right you guide him towards the decretory pirate themed isle in search of something that will peak his interest. Also you wanted so badly to make it to this spot but Gullimero was a man on a mission so your intention was thwarted for when you had Nandor with you.

Speed walking down the pirate themed isle you quickly halt all movement as Nandor’s large body stops within less than an inch from your back. Smiling brightly you snatch the desired object in front of you and as swift as a cat turn to face him.

“Have you come for a dual my old enemy?” You speak slyly, eyes narrowed as you hold the foam sword right in front of his face. “I sense a nervousness about you. Tell me, are you ready to face your inevitable bloody end?”

Staring at the pointy foam, his dark puppy eyes shift over to you as an adorable fangy grin breaks out across his pale face, “Seems you have come prepared, oh radiant and alluring seductress. Well, so have I!” Shouts Nandor before grabbing two foam swords from off the rack and swinging them in both hands like a mad man.

Taking a cautious step back you hold your pathetic five dollar sword in both hands like a true warrior ready for battle, “Only one shall leave this place alive.” You affirm with a smirk, “And it’s not going to be you.”

“Arrrrrggg.” Bellows your lover as he charges you like the true conqueror that he once was. But all to soon do you swiftly duck under his arms and swat him over his stomach with a confident thwack sound.

He makes a puny little “oww” as you turn around to face him once again, “Y/N you hit me kind of hard.” He complains, looking rather defeated and genuinely hurt that you could have intentionally injured him on purpose.

Bringing the plastic weapon down to your side once again, your face suddenly softens as you walk over to him, “Come here you big baby.” You quip sincerely as he leans down so you can give his cheek a quick kiss.

Rising back to his full height, Nandor almost blushes as the corners of his eyes crinkle into a happy smile, “Actually it didn’t hurt at all I just wanted you to kiss me.” Reveals the vampire with a proud grin as you simply roll your eyes.

“Should have known.” You add before turning and snatching up four more plastic foam pirate swords for the others. “Alright let’s get outta here, follow me my love, to the checkout line we shall purchase our weapons of war and partying on the high seas.” You announce with gusto as Nandor stands proudly at your side, ready to follow you anywhere.

“Yes. To check out.”

——

Kicking open the unlocked door, Nandor bursts into the vampire residence with bags full of goodies for Nadja’s birthday party. You right behind him but less dramatically, “We’re back!” You shout to no one in particular as Colin Robinson suddenly appears from out of nowhere, looking ready to leave with his funny little hat and usual beige jacket.

“Oh hey guys,” He starts with a friendly nod, “I’m just heading out on the town tonight. I guess there’s a fair or something in the park and I wanted to test my skill at the ball toss. I’ve been reading up on the body mechanics and how the game is set up which seems pretty basic all in all. Also I really want to win a stuffed bear this time, it might add a little pizazz to my room. Welp see ya’round.” Adds Colin before walking past the two of you without another word and out into the night he goes with some of the camera crew following close behind.

Nandor turns to you with a look of annoyance, “Jeesh I thought he would never leave. Let’s go to your room I want to kiss you some more now.”

“Why my room?”

“Because since you are half vampire you get to sleep in a bed and because I am a full vampire I sleep in a coffin.” Inquires Nandor while looking at you with those big beautiful dark eyes of his, “And my coffin is too small for cuddles so your room will suffice.”

“Yeah that’s a fair point.” You shrug before following him to your room.

After many cuddles leading to other more rated R type activities that lasted until just about sunrise, you finally got some well needed rest while the sun shone high in the sky until she began her dramatic descend back into oblivion. Opening your eyes you slowly rise from out of your comfy bed, already missing the presence of your obsidian eyed lover.

He gets too nervous about your closed windows for fear that the sun might burn him which would be impossible because you black out the glass. But alas, he’s very cautious about these types of things and won’t risk it for anything, though he feels bad about leaving you in the morning, you understand.

Suddenly it dawns on you that today or perhaps tonight, is Nadja’s birthday and you completely forgot to set up any decorations. Shit, how stupid. Throwing the blankets off of you, your feet move quick as you speedily change yesterday’s outfit for something a bit nicer and more clean.

Racing out of your room and into the dimly lit manor hallway, you make a bee line for the attic but before you’re able to reach the steps, Guillermo runs into you, just about knocking you into a wall of various stolen ancient weapons. Sharp ones at that.

That was close.

“Y/N are you okay!” Worries the familiar as you quickly gather your bearings.

“Guillermo! The decorations! Nadja’s birthday!” You whisper yell as the human man simply smiles. “Why are you smiling, this situation does not call for smiles.”

“Don’t worry. While you were sleeping I set up all the decorations.” He replies with a shrug, “No problem.”

“What? But that must have taken you all day, you could have asked me for help. I would have come.” Your brows furrow as he shakes his head, though you still feel bad for not helping with anything.

“Well I did try, but um,” Gullimero awkwardly clears his throat, giving the camera a quick glance, “Nandor was with you and last time I asked for you while you and him where having alone time he threatened to carve out my eyeballs and force feed them to me.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance you take a deep breath, “Sounds like him. Very creative when he wants to be, alright, well....where’s everyone?”

“Oh, they’re not up yet. I was actually on my way to get you. I made blood popsicles and the pool floaty is all done and in the pond.” He says with a sense of pride for his decorating skills. “I think she’ll like what we’ve come up with this year.”

-

Standing in the living room with your three fellow immortals you search a dresser for her card, “Oh shit where’s my card? I could have sworn I had it yesterday on my dresser but I don’t remember seeing it there in the morning. Maybe it’s in this one?”

“Witches!” Hisses Nadja as you huff in frustration, where the hell did you put that damn card?

“Oh, Y/N my love,” Intervenes Nandor with a gentle tug of your sleeve, “I took it with me when I left your room before sunrise because I wanted to put my name on it too so she would know it’s from us.”

“What?” Replies Lazlo dramatically, “Now hold on just a damn minute, this card competition is individually scored so I won’t be having any of this nonsense. I worked really hard on mine this year.”

“Oh lick a donkey’s arse, look here,” You retort with, quickly holding up the card for Nadja, “there are two separate drawings on ours so either way if one of us wins she gets both our pictures. So you better hope your drawing doesn’t resemble a night clubs bathroom wall.”

“Yeah.” Mutters Nandor, who’s hiding behind you while resting both hands on either one of your shoulders as you glare at Lazlo.

“Fine.” Agrees Lazlo begrudgingly, “And mine will be amazing, this bitch of paper took me a whole six months to plan and produce. Can’t get quality this good anywhere else I guarantee it.” Adds Lazlo with a firm nod of self approval as you glance at the nearby camera.

“Right, okay everyone sit it’s time for presents. I want to know what you all got me.” Beams Nadja excitedly as she smiles a fangy grin in delight, plopping herself down in one of the arm chairs. Lazlo quickly finding the other one while you and Nandor seat yourself on the large couch. Colin and Guillermo finding somewhere to sit close by respectfully.

“Well, all I can say is hold onto your socks my dear cause this is going to blow you away.” Smirks Lazlo as he pulls a small box from out of his jacket pocket.

“If it’s a self made business card that says invitation to sexy town I will puke.” You deadpan while Nandor laughs from beside you, causing Lazlo to lose his smirk as Nadja hides her amusement the best she can manage.

“He he, sexy town, nice one Y/N.” Mutters Nandor with a proud grin as you raise a brow at Lazlo who’s giving you a hard glare.

“Oh, my dear pumpkin pie love, don’t listen to Y/N I will love anything you gift me.” Encourages Nadja with a bright welcoming smile, no doubt immediately boosting Lazlo’s once irked mood.

Rolling your eyes you shift a bit to find yourself leaning into Nandor’s body as Nadja opens up the rest of the vampire residents various gifts. A joyous fangy smile gracing her pale features every single time, revealing this birthday party was a thrilling success.

After much more fun that just about lasts throughout the whole night, and some rare but hilarious attempts at dancing between the five of you vampiric individuals. You’re feeling rather sleepy and you can tell Nandor is ready for a trip to dreamland as well.

Swaying to the lowly playing record instrumental, you hold Nandor tight while simultaneously enjoying the feeling of him so close, him doing just the same as he keeps you firmly pressed against his chest. His long dark hair tickles your face as he presses his head to your cheek, doing his absolute best to keep the flow without tripping up.

Sensing his growing fatigue, you gently squeeze his hand, “My love the sun will be up soon, let’s get you to bed, yes?”

A small lazy smile tugs at the corners of his lips while he looks down to meet your gaze, “But my dark angel I’m not tired. I want to dance with you a little longer.” He whines adorably before failing to conceal a big yawn.

Giggling, you lean back to slowly lead him towards the door, “That yawn says otherwise.”

“That wasn’t a yawn Y/N, I was just smiling really big.” He protests, though he still follows your lead to the door.

“I’ve never seen anyone smile like that.” You add with a raised brow.

“Well maybe that’s just how I smile.”

Letting out a breathy snort, you pull away from him to at last take his one hand, “Come. I can’t have a single ray of that dreaded sun to get a taste of your precious skin. Not on my watch.”

Glancing at the closed front door, Nandor squeezes your hand, “Well um, now since you’ve mentioned the sun...I think I’d like to go to my crypt now.” He says, the flash of worry crossing over his face for only a brief moment.

“You sure? I mean a sunrise is pretty beautiful if I’m being honest and I know you never get to see them...”

“Not funny Y/N. And not fair, you know I can’t because I am full vampire.”

“And you’re missing out.”

“And I’d like to stay alive Y/N.”

“Aren’t you dead?”

“Yes and I am your only husband so I need to stay not burnt to a crisp.”

Chuckling, you follow him down the hallway, “Oh really? Don’t want me finding myself with another vampiric lover? Some new beast to sweep me off my feet and take me away into the night.” You tease.

Side eyeing you, he frowns, “No. Don’t I sweep you off your feet?”

Stepping into his crypt you stop him with your hand against his bicep, “Always.” You whisper sincerely with a quick wink, causing him to break out into a big fangy grin.

“Good. And if anyone would try and whoo you I would make sure there would be no more whooing again!” Exclaims Nandor, making the candles rise in flame for only a short second at his rise in emotion for how much he loves you.

“I don’t doubt they would fall by your blade. Not for a second.”