#that forearm is my ticket to eternal damnation

[ruinme-please]

Chunky (x)

[unadulteratedrebelrunaway]

THE WHITE WIZARD: DEVIL'S ADVOCATE

[7/1/18].

Alexander W. Benson II

           I am a wizard.  Yes, I am pompous and arrogant.  I like to go around helping people.  When I see a wrong being committed, I go into action right away. For instance, I once saw this guy misbehave.  Like any good superhero, as I sometimes call myself, I play the hero.  Here is that story.

           I am standing before a man who is slightly misbehaving.  He was never taught right from wrong.  As I stand there, he shows total disregard for my authority.  The man is committing one of the deadly sins.  At least I think it was one of them.  The man had a gambling problem.  He had no shame.  He even flaunted it.  Not only that, but when he saw me looking at him he gave me the evil eye.  That could be a second deadly sin.  He was in a convenience store buying a lottery ticket.

           I point my rod at him and yell in a resounding voice as the room grows dark, "I condemn you to an eternity of damnation!"

           The guy looks worried at first, but then he gets his second wind.   After a minute he says, "Well I might as well do whatever I want and enjoy myself since I'm condemned anyway."

           The room returns to normal as I lean forward to say, "I am only trying to help you."

           Later on, the man spots a burning schoolhouse on his way home.  He thinks to himself, Maybe I can outsmart that wizard. I'll do a good deed.  That ought to wipe the slate clean so I can go to heaven when I die.  Hell, GOD himself will probably meet me at he gates and take me in.  Pardon the pun on that word hell.   There is no rescue in sight so the man runs inside and rescues all forty children trapped inside; however, his lungs are burning and he can't breathe. He dies before the rescue gets there.

           He arrives at the gates and he is surprised to see me.  He asks, "What are you doing here?  You work for the other side.  I'm going to heaven, so get out of my way before I throw you down to Earth."

           First I play the pacifist and smile at him. Then I play the advocate and turn to the little fat guy in a red suit and tell him, "He's all yours."

           Shorty grabs the guy by forearm but there isn't one. He got it burned off in the fire. The man pulls away from my little friend and turns to me, "Hey, you reformed me, remember?"

           "What makes you think I reformed you?" says I. "I condemned you.  Weren't you listening the last time we talked?"

           "What was that talk about how you were only trying to help me?" says the man.

           "I was only trying to see how stupid you were?" says I.

 THE END