#that first one was made while i was trying to watch talladega nights

[suppenzeit]

🥺 draw GB pls? It is our birthday ;; turning 19 :)

happy birthday! i dont do requests for people i don't really know, but you can have these unreleased sketches

[sierrabinondo]

woodland creatures tour - day 2 (columbia, sc)

after a night of stress anD FEAR we were off to our next destination, new brookland tavern in columbia, sc.  i was really excited about playing this venue because a lot of cool tours have come through this spot. 

we woke up and made a couple spots for breakfast. jaime had gone for a walk and found a lil donut shop, but not all of us were content to bomb our stomachs with a sugary donut only for our first meal, so we also stopped at panera afterwards. at quick glance the donuts just seemed like average candy-laden artisanal donuts but according to the guys they were a lot fluffier than uncle dood’s donuts (jersey’s best imo) which is insane. so i regretted not getting one, but at this point in the tour i was still trying to eat healthy (lol) and i was also intermittent fasting. they also had a sailor moon donut painting in their shop, respect.

we grabbed panera and then hit the road. we had another long drive today, which is really hard to avoid in the southeast. drives take at least like 4 hours a day to get from state to state. i put on talladega nights and if i knew this was going to be the death of me and the beginning of drunk fried chicken memes all of tour i would have not put it on lmao. everyone would not stop quoting “i’m too drunk to taste this chicken” for the rest of tour and it devolved into a littany of variations of that quote for DAYS. pretty unfair coming from the girl who thinks “peepee poopoo” is fucking hilarious, but i wasn’t vibing with it at all lmao

we barely made it in time to the hotel because we stopped a lot. pulses. got there early went to one of the food spots near the venue i put on the itinerary, and were saying in the group chat how fucking elizabeth warren was there. so random. i really thought they were joking at first but it was her. since we were running on such a tight schedule we ordered food to be delivered a lil bit after we pulled up to the venue. we got ready really quickly and zoomed out the door.

new brookland is really sick. it’s like if brighton bar was way bigger. stage is huge and there was a designated merch area with its own counter. we had a really good time just chilling before the show started. someone put on “smooth” by santana featuring rob thomas of matchbox 20 and for once it wasn’t me. after i finished eating poke a few of us went outside to explore the area. there was this really pretty alleyway that had just been painted not that long ago with super vibrant murals. matt, caleb, taylor and i went out there, and kris and tyler (who shot photo/video for pulses. this tour) took photos of us. after checking out the alleyway, i think someone saw a butterfly wing mural, and that lead to realizing that there was a whole walkway of outdoor instruments. most notably caleb hopped on the drums to play bleed by meshuggah lmao. there were also like these rainbow metal drums that looked like sperms that sounded like steel drums??? so weird. and then some other stuff too. it was really fun just fucking around.

the show actually went suuuuper well. we were scared it was gonna be poorly attended because the bill had 5 bands and it was mixed genre, however people not only came but they STAYED the whole time. it was insane. all of the bands were super tight, and they were insanely nice people. we played with foxglove, when i say jump and pet peeves. this show was really special for us and pulses. because people came through singing the words to our songs. it was so sick that pulses.’ first out of state shows had people coming through knowing the words. for like, every single show!!!! at this show santino’s cousin joe-john and his fiance jess came because they live in columbia, it was so good to see them. we also met this guy caleb who was FRONT and CENTER for our entire set, headbanging and singing the words. i’m watching him enjoying our set while we’re playing and i’m like, “do we know this guy????”

turns out he discovered us over a year ago because somehow our willow music video was placed in a crunchyroll ad, how the fuck?????? and he’s been a fan since. said he looks up to joe and santino as inspirations for guitar. god. so fucking insane. we got a picture with him and told him how much that meant to us. it was pretty surreal haha. when i was watching him while we played i was actually really worried i ruined his first time seeing us because i did make *some* goofs vocally, but i decided to not worry about it. aside from caleb mad people were moving around and were super engaged which was wonderful!!! some girl told me she broke her finger while she was dancing to us, i felt so bad. but she seemed to not mind, haha. 

our hotel for this evening was so much better than richmond, we were at a quality inn. the receptionist asked why we were in town so i told her, and she was like “huh. do you get paid for that” l o l

[atc74]

What You Need

Summary: Dean knows the reader isn’t feeling well, so he takes it upon himself to help. 

Square Filled: Roommate AU

Word Count: ~900

Warnings: Disgusting fluff, ‘shark week’

Characters: Dean, Friend!Reader, a touch of Sam

Written for: @spnfluffbingo and this request by @ellen-reincarnated1967 said: I know I sent in an aesthetic req... but could I get a fluffy best friend dean who just knows the reader so well, that during that "time" he's more prepared than she is?? Items, movies, snacks, pain meds... and wise cracking Sam? I like to see dean fluster, thank you

Thank you to @crispychrissy for her beta on this! 

“Dean?” Sam asked from his seat at the kitchen table. “What are you doing?”

Dean had his back turned to his brother and a laundry basket secured on one hip. With his other hand he was grabbing items from the pantry and placing them in the basket. “Uhhh, gathering supplies.”

“Supplies? For what?” Sam had stopped guessing what Dean was doing half the time.

“Y/N is… well… it’s her time and I thought she could use some stuff,” Dean stuttered.

“Dude. I don’t even want to know how you know that. Or why. But you do… whatever it is you’re going to do, and I will be gone. I don’t need to witness this,” Sam laughed and packed up his laptop and notes, leaving Dean as he continued to forage. Y/N had moved into the home Dean and Sam shared a few years ago. She and Dean had always been close, tag teaming the chores while Sam worked long hours at the law firm. Sam didn’t realize Dean knew that much about her.

“Popcorn, chips, chocolate,” Dean recited as he left the kitchen, double checking the basket as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Heating pad, woman pills,” Dean added items to his basket, heading into his own room.

“Laptop, movies, extra pillows and this,” Dean stuffed more stuff into the basket.

He was smarter than he looked. He grabbed the basket because he knew he needed the extra space for the plethora of stuff he was collecting. He walked the few extra steps to Y/N’s room and knocked softly, hoping she wasn’t sleeping. His request to enter was granted by a sleepy voice.

“Hey, Sweetheart. How’re ya feeling?” Dean asked quietly, entering her room and setting the basket on the floor, taking a seat on the bed.

“Gross. I hurt all over and I just wanna sleep, but can’t,” she mumbled, gathering the pillow and trying to get comfortable.

“Well, I have just the things that I think you need,” Dean told her as he placed the basket on the bed and started pulling things out.

“Dean? What are you doing?” she sat up, finally taking notice of the basket full of items, which only deepened her confusion.

Dean didn’t answer her as he set to work. He first took out the heating pad and plugged it in, turning it to medium. “Sit up a little, Y/N/N.” She did as he asked, but gave him the eye. “Cramps, right? The heat will help.” He lifted up her hoodie and placed the pad across her lower abdomen, carefully pulling her sweatshirt back down.

“How do you know I have cramps?” she posed.

“Y/N, how long have you been living with us?” Dean asked her as he pulled out a bottle of water and pain pills.

“Uhhh, a little over three years, I think,” she answered as she took the items from him.

“And do you really think I am that clueless? That I don’t notice things?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. I should have known; you always were a little more observant than Sam,” she replied. “But, why?”

“You have been our roommate for three years, but we have been friends for much longer than that. So I’m doing what any good friend would do,” Dean shrugged his shoulders, retrieved the extra pillow, and placed it behind her back. He also pulled out the little extra something he knew she would want from the bottom of the basket. “I am going to take care of you.”

“Dean, this is too much,” she protested when he wrapped the fuzzy blanket around her shoulders.

“This is your favorite blanket and I want you to be comfortable. That’s why I’m here, duh,” he silenced her with his thoughtfulness.

“Now that you are comfy, what snacks do you want? I brought popcorn, potato chips, chocolate covered pretzels, the hard to find ones that you love. I also made hot chocolate,” he pulled out a thermos and two mugs.

“You thought of everything, didn’t you, Dean?” she sighed happily. This was the sweetest, kindest thing anyone had ever done for her and she was touched.

“Hey, why are you crying?” Dean was concerned as he noted the tears in her eyes.

“Am I? Stupid hormones. I am just so overwhelmed by your gesture,” she sniffed.

“Well, I also brought movies. What’d’ya wanna watch? I got all comedies, because laughing releases feel good endorphins,” Dean explained.

“Wow, that is truly impressive, Dean,” she chortled.

“I read,” Dean told her. He pulled out Blazing Saddles, Airplane!, The Blues Brothers, There’s Something About Mary, Caddyshack, Dodgeball and Talladega Nights. Y/N choose Caddyshack to watch first and they settled into her bed, snacks laid out along with the cups of cocoa.

They started laughing from almost the first scene, but didn’t talk. It wasn’t until later in the movie, when she looked over at Dean. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart,” Dean leaned over and smiled, placing a kiss to her hair.

“It is a little pathetic if you think about it, though. That you know what I need more than I do,” she pondered.

“It goes both ways, Y/N. How many times do you do little stuff for me, just ‘cause you know I need it, even though I told you I didn’t?” Dean asked.

“Like a thousand!” she laughed.

“I will always be here, even when you don’t know you need me,” Dean vowed. She didn’t make it through the movie, falling asleep on Dean’s shoulder, snuggled in her favorite stolen blanket with her best friend.

The Whole Enchilada Tags: @iwantthedean @d-s-winchester @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @just-another-busy-fangirl @mamaredd123 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @tankcupcakes @katymacsupernatural @winchesterprincessbride @chelsea072498 @meeshw777  @tmccarney @ruprecht0420 @theoriginalvicki @nanie5 @docharleythegeekqueen @megansescape @notnaturalanahi @impalaimagining @mrswhozeewhatsis @blacktithe7 @emoryhemsworth @bringmesomepie56 @devilgirlsarah @spnbaby-67 @myoutletforfanfiction @deansangelgirl @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @kayteonline @rockhoochie @percussiongirl2017 @fanfreak07 @tattooedmomster13 @sandlee44 @moonstar86 @uttertrash--butlikecutetrash  @squirrel-moose-winchester @growningupgeek @charliebradbury1104 @evansrogerskitten @feelmyroarrrr @itseverythingilike @smoothdogsgirl @supernatural-jackles @ryantherandomhero @love-kittykat21 @kathaswings @crispychrissy @paintrider13-blog  @bethbabybaby @ravenangel33 @shaelyn102

Dean’s Den of Iniquity: @akshi8278  @iamabeautifulperson18 @suzannebeaketa @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @deandoesthingstome @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @boxywrites @sparklesuperwholock88  @ericaprice2008  @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels

[becuzpurple]

Chapter 24:  All the Strawberries, Pt.  4 - Maybe It’s You

This is a reposting of Ch 24, now split into 5 parts.

Here be part 4!

(part 3)

Friday 12 February

The next morning I did wake up sore in all of the predictable places.  It was nothing terrible, but it was definitely noticeable.  A long, hot shower helped a bit, but I thought maybe a day off from any shenanigans might not be a bad idea, much to my and Ed’s disappointment.

Luckily, there are other things to do in and around Valle de Guadalupe.  The region is renowned for its vineyards, and there is a plethora of wine tours and tastings to choose from.  There are horseback riding stables, museums, picturesque hiking trails, and artists’ communities.  I made the decision for both of us that horseback riding would NOT be an option, though, because ouch! We decided that we wanted to learn about and sample more of the local wine, and we also wanted to do some hiking and enjoy the scenery, and whatever else this beautiful, secluded stretch of Baja California had to offer.

We were out the door by 10:30 am, loading our backpacks into the Jeep we’d rented back in San Diego.  Our hosts had told us about a nearby campground called El Salto, where there is a scenic waterfall trail.  We were told it’s suitable for any age or skill level, and there is an idyllic picnic area at the end of the 1.5 mile trail.  So, we dressed accordingly, packed sandwiches, water, grapes, cheese, some wine, and a large blanket for a picnic lunch, along with everything we’d need for safety/first aid, just in case the need arose, and we headed out.

The entrance to El Salto Campground is around a hairpin turn along a canyon road just off the highway, but it’s marked with a very large sign.  We made the turn, and in a very short time found ourselves passing through the nearly empty campsites along not much more than a 2-lane dirt path.  It led us through the back of the campground, and we finally spotted a marked trailhead leading to the El Salto waterfall.  We parked  and began our little trek over the dirt trail.

Our hosts were correct - it is a simple trail, with very a gradual decline in elevation.  There are no crumbling rocks or slippery stones.  Our visibility was 100%, and the temperature was perfect - we were fine in our hoodies.  There is one main path with a few forks from start to finish, but there are clear sign pointing the way to the waterfall at each branch.

What should have been a 20-30 minute hike took us almost 50 minutes, though, because I kept stopping to take pictures.  It’s a hobby that I fall into and out of a few times a year - photography.  I sometimes go to the forest preserves near our house and take pictures there...I used to go at least a few times a year, during different seasons.  I love capturing the lushness of summer, the vivid colors of fall, the starkness of winter, spring rebirth… But I sort of fell away from it in the last few years.  Being there on that trail and seeing the unique, arid, desert landscape reminded me of the beauty in nature that I used to seek out so often, and the bug hit me again.

Ed didn’t seem to mind my constant stops at all.  In fact, he was really curious about the things I chose to photograph, and wondered out loud more than once how I knew what to capture.

“What do you look for?  How do you know it will make a good photograph?”

“Umm, I don’t really look for anything in particular - just whatever strikes my fancy, I guess.  It might be the shape of a leaf, or how the sunlight peeks through tree branches, or something that seems slightly out-of-place, like a paved path through the woods, or a brightly painted tree stump.  Or something that’s pretty.”

“I didn’t know you like photography.”

“Yeah…it’s just a casual hobby, I guess.  I haven’t done it in a while.  I’ve never taken any classes, or bought any actual equipment.  I just use my phone, and then I, um, have a few different editing apps for fixing them up afterwards.  It’s nothing fancy.”

Just then I stopped again, spying some interesting junipers against the canyon wall.  I walked around them a few times, trying to find a good shot.

“Nah, not going to work,” I mumbled to myself.

We continued along the trail at a leisurely pace, and soon could hear the muted clamor of water hitting rocks.  As we got closer, the echo of the falls grew louder.  Finally, we saw it.  The falls were separated from us by a very wide ravine, and were falling from a pretty impressive height - at least 100 feet.  We were atop a very large ledge - about 15 feet wide and the same depth.  A low, wooden fence kept hikers from getting too close to the ledge, but didn’t interfere with the gorgeous view.  There were wildflowers sprouting all over along the cracks and fissures of the ground beneath our feet, and too many pine trees to count stretched up from the various ledges near the bottom of the canyon.  The waterfall emptied into what looked more like a collecting pool than a stream.  I couldn’t see where it led.

We stopped in our tracks when the falls came into view, and just stood still, silently admiring the sight for a few minutes.  Eventually, Ed took my hand and led me a little closer, where we slipped off our packs and laid out our blanket and our picnic lunch.  I put out the food while Ed opened and poured the wine.  He used the lids of the Tupperware™ containers as small trays to set our plastic wine glasses on so they wouldn’t topple over.

I took a sip, smiled at Ed, and then looked up at our breathtaking view for a moment before I spoke, still smiling.  “I love this.  All of it - the hike, the picnic, the view...the company…”

He gave me a small grin and a nod, and held up his wine in a toast.  

I raised mine up to his.  “This...is perfect,” he said with a small sigh and a relaxed smile.

We bumped our plastic glasses together.

“Slainte!”

“Salud!”

It wasn’t a large meal, but once finished we were both pleasantly full, and feeling lazy - which was fine, since we weren’t in a hurry to do anything or go anywhere.  Using our backpacks as pillows (with our jackets strategically placed inside as cushions), we laid back on our blanket in the grass and drank in the loveliness of it all.  We didn’t speak much - just a few occasional observations here and there.  It was a comfortable kind of quiet.  Relaxed.  Tranquil.  

Ed kept his eyes closed for a good, long time.  I wondered if he might have fallen asleep.  He looked rested and content.  

I decided that I wanted to take a few more pictures of the area, so I quietly sat up and grabbed my phone, intending to sneak off while he snoozed.

“Where you off to?”

I looked over, and he was still laying down, but was peering at me through curious eyes.

“Oh, I thought you were asleep.  I was just going to take some more pictures.  I won’t go far.”

“OK.  Have fun.” He grinned and puckered his lips for a quick kiss, which I happily delivered before wandering off in search of a different kind of pretty.

There were a lot of different paths and trails around the falls, allowing me to take some really nice shots from various vantage points.  There wasn’t really a lot of wildlife that I could see, unfortunately.  There were birds, but I’m bad at being quiet enough so as to not frighten them away.  So, I focused on the falls, the canyon, and the plant life.  

I didn’t want to go too far or be away too long, so after about 30 minutes I made my way back to our picnic spot.  I could see right away that Ed wasn’t on our blanket. After quickly scanning the immediate area I spotted him close to the ravine, watching the waterfall.  He was absolutely still.  The only sound was the crashing of the water on the rocks below.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a series of stills of him in profile, admiring the stunning view. He had no idea I was there.

I pocketed my phone and just watched him for a few seconds before seeking his attention.

“Hey!” I called out, approaching him at his vantage point.

He turned toward my voice and smiled, waving me over.  When I arrived next to him I wrapped an arm around his waist as he draped his over my shoulders.  We stood appreciating the view silently for a minute or so before either of us spoke.

“Did you get anything good?”

“Yeah, I think so.  I won’t know for sure until I can transfer them to my laptop.  I can see them much better there.  But I think so.”

“Do you ever do anything with the photos you take?  Like sell or display them?”

“Oh, no, I’ve never even tried to sell any of them.  But I do have some framed and up in the house.  I’ll show you next time you’re over.”

“Cool.  I’m curious about your arty side.” He gave me a thoughtful look, and then smiled.  “Should we head back do you think?”

I checked the time on my phone - almost 1:30.  “Yeahhhh...our wine-tasting is at 3.”

“Oh, yeah!  Don’t wanna miss that...it might put us in bed passed out by 8 o’clock tonight, though…”  

“Well worth the risk, I think,” I added.

“Indeed.”  His eyes were twinkling as he took my hand.  “C’mon, let’s go, love.”

--

It turned out that we did imbibe quite a bit during our wine tasting and vineyard tour that afternoon, and not even a decent dinner in the vineyard cafe afterward was entirely successful in properly soaking it all up.  We were tipsy and giggly throughout dinner, and for a while afterwards, as well.

Back at our rooms we foolishly thought we’d be able to watch a movie - because that���s happened before, right?  Ha.  Luckily, both of us had already seen Talladega Nights:  The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - a selection that could only have been influenced by our excessive alcohol consumption.  We passed out napped for a few hours together on the sofa, instead.  It’s what we do.

I woke to find my face squashed into the back of the sofa with Ed’s arm around me, and his hand under my shirt, cupping my boob.  We were sort of in a spooning position, but I was half on my stomach and he was completely on top of one of my legs, softly snoring into the back of my neck.  To say it was uncomfortable would be an understatement.  

I tried to move, but was trapped between him and the back of the sofa and couldn’t get any leverage at all.

“Hey, hon?”

No response from Sleeping Beauty.

“Ed?”

Just soft snores.

I took a breath and took stock of the situation.  I was mostly laying on my side, on top of one of my arms, and couldn’t move it.  The other one was bent and held in place by Ed’s arm that was wrapped around me.  But that hand could move a little bit, so I used it to tap on the top of his hand...which was covering my boob.  

He definitely did notice me awkwardly patting his hand.  I know this because once I stopped, he began fondling me through my bra.

“Umm, heyyy…”

He stopped as soon as he heard my voice.  Then I heard and felt a muffled laugh at the back of my neck.  And then the boob-fondling started up again.

“Hey...umm, can you move?  You’re on-”

“Mm-mmm.  Busy.”

“Haha, funny.  But really.  You’re on top of me.  I can’t move.”

Instead of answering, he slid his fingers underneath my bra cup and started rubbing circles over my nipple.  So then he was simultaneously turning me on and being extremely annoying.  

“Hon, c’mon.  I’m not...opposed to this, but you’re on top of my leg and I’m squished in the sofa.  Will you please get off me?”

“I dunno.  What’s in it for me?”

“Umm...I won’t kill you??!!”

“Nah.  You can’t kill me, anyway.  You can’t even move.  And I’m finding this enjoyable.”  He punctuated his little announcement by squeezing my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and then carefully pulling it taut, straight out, before letting it go.  Then, with his thumb, he began flicking it left and right, and damn it, it felt really good.

Fuck.

The bastard was right, of course.  But I had a plan.

Sighing only slightly exaggeratedly, I answered, “Yeah.  I guess you’re right.  Too bad, though, ‘cause I can’t go down on you if I’m trapped like this.”

His hand went completely still (although it did remain in place on my boob). “What was that?”

“You know, it’s fine.  You’re enjoying yourself, and I’m not that uncomfortable. Carry on.”

I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck again as he laughed. “You’re so mean...ya say you’ll suck my cock, and then take it back?  SO mean…”

“Oh, you want me to do it?  That’s cool, too.  But, I can’t like this…”

I didn’t even get all of my words out, and I was suddenly being rolled onto my back.  Ed then sat himself up at the edge of the sofa, smiling as if he just won some sort of prize.

I sat up next to him, nodding my head, grinning back at him.  “OK.”  

Without breaking eye contact, I arranged myself in his lap, astride his hips.  He took my face in both hands and pulled me down to him for a kiss.  He caught my lower lip and lightly swept the tip of his tongue across it.  I promptly parted my lips, welcoming him in.

Our tongues stroked and tasted and teased, and our lips nipped and skimmed and smiled.  We sometimes pulled away to breathe and smile some more, and then came back to do it again.  And again.

I touched my forehead to his during one of these small pauses.  My hands had been resting on his shoulders while we kissed, but I couldn’t keep them still anymore.  I ran my fingers over the front of his shirt, down his chest, lightly scratching him through the fabric of his shirt.

“Mmm…” he sighed.

I climbed off of him and lowered myself to the floor, kneeling between his legs.  He was already looking at me with such focused anticipation.  I leaned in and skimmed my fingers under his shirt, ready to lift it up so I could give some love and attention to his abs and his belly before I traveled lower.  

“Hey,” I began, looking up at him just before I brought my lips near his belly button.  “Just going to focus on you tonight.  I still need to give my, uh, parts...a rest.  ‘K?”

“Yeah?  You don’t mind?”

“No, I love this.” I grinned as I brought my mouth to his belly.  “Definitely don’t mind.”

I kissed him all over his abs and his stomach, making sure to brush my lips and trace my tongue all over him, slowly making my way down to his waist.  I didn’t stop when I undid his belt, or when I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.  I just moved my mouth lower as more of him became exposed.

He lifted up his bottom, and we both together pulled down his jeans and underwear.  My eyes shifted back-and-forth between his face and the emerging proof of his arousal.  His eyes were glued to my face - my mouth.  He watched steadily as my mouth and tongue traced a gentle path down the slope of his belly, leaving soft kisses under his belly button, over the planes of his hip and then to the crease between his thigh and groin.  As I got closer to my intended target, it was all I could look at.  

I brushed my fingers over his cock as I continued working my mouth downward.  He was already so hard, it almost made my mouth water as my fingers stroked his length.  I could hear him breathing - I loved the way it caught with my every movement.

I started spreading more kisses - full, wet kisses - all around the base.  I looked up at him as I slowly inched my mouth up his shaft, rolling my tongue around all sides.  He stared back at me, completely engrossed in my actions.

My hands rested on his thighs, tracing tiny, light waves over his fair skin, as I placed a tender, wet kiss on the tip of his cock.  I slowly took a little bit at a time in my mouth, moving downwards over every ridge and vein. I intentionally made every touch, every kiss and lick, wet and messy - sloppy - almost as though I wanted to devour him.  My mouth slid up and down him, slippery with saliva as I licked and sucked and kissed his hard, yet velvety-smooth shaft. I caught his gaze, and it was such a turn-on seeing the heat in his eyes as he stared back, riveted at what my mouth was doing.

I worked my mouth back to the tip of his cock, placing a hand at the base and moving it in sync with the bobbing of my head so that his entire length was covered, wet, and being squeezed or engulfed by me.  I swirled my tongue around him, kissed him, and I sucked on him, all while keeping everything wet and sloppy and noisy, and he was moaning softly and was gently rocking his hips up as I slid my lips and my hand down and up, again and again.

I wanted more of him.  I anchored both hands at his thighs, and I slid my lips along his shaft, going deeper each time.  Once he nudged the back of my throat, I gradually increased my pace, fully taking him in.

He let out a low moan, closed his eyes and leaned his head back.  I saw his hands tense and then he laid them down flat on the seat cushion, fingers spread out wide.

“Mmmmmm…” I hummed, watching him.  

God, I love this…

Sucking and kissing all over his dick and seeing how he reacted to it was making me more than a little bit turned on.  I could feel wetness pooling in my panties as I took him down my throat over and over.

“God...feel so good on me...yeah…” His voice was quiet, yet sounded strained, like it took effort to speak.

He put one hand on my head, soon followed by the other, and after a brief pause, began applying very light pressure, seeking more.  It was so hot I couldn’t help moaning over him, and setting a new, messy, hasty pace.

His stomach tensed and his hips trembled as I continued going deep.  

In a last effort to take him in even further, I grabbed his ass and pulled him all the way into my face.  He groaned - perhaps in surprise just as much as in pleasure.

He was down my throat and I held him to my face even though my eyes were watering and I had to put effort into breathing.  I gagged, but still worked my lips to suck him, still fluttered my tongue over him, and I kept moaning, making him feel even more quivers and shakes.

“Gonna come…”  His breath caught as I began to slowly pull my lips up over him.  He exhaled loudly.  His eyes were closed tight.

I brought a hand down to cup his balls, lightly massaging them.  I reached one finger back to stroke his perineum, and then without even giving it any forethought, I reached back a little bit further and lightly traced the line between both cheeks.

“Oh, fuck…!”  If a whisper can be emphatic, his was.

His whole body tensed, his hips began to stutter, and he groaned - really, really loudly.  I quickly slid my mouth up to cover just his head.  And I pulled in and swallowed every bit of the slightly salty, tangy fluid as it hit my tongue.

Once he was done I still kept him in my mouth for a minute.  I just like having him there, and I know he loves the soft, warm feel of my wet mouth around him.  After a minute I looked up at him.  He was slumped back against the sofa, completely relaxed.  We exchanged soft looks as I slowly pulled my mouth off of him.  I left a gentle kiss on the tip of his mostly-soft penis before sitting up straight.  I licked my lips and smiled at him a little shyly.

I helped him pull his pants up, then he helped me back onto the sofa.  

“I promise I won’t crush you this time,” he joked.

He was so mellow, affectionate, sleepy, adorable.  He wrapped his arms securely around me, kissed my temple, and traced a line of soft kisses to my mouth.  I turned a little bit to face him squarely, and we kissed.  It was slow and attentive, full of love and affirmation rather than passion and intensity.  He pulled away first, just far enough to take in my face.  I'm sure I looked a mess.

“You OK?” he asked.

I nodded.  “Yeah.  You?”

He smiled and huffed out a small laugh through his nose.  “Um, yeah.  I’m awesome right now.”

“That’s good.”

“You like doing that.”  He phrased it as a statement, but I heard the question behind it.

I nodded.  “Yeah...well, with you.”  I’m not sure what made me add that last bit of information.  

His brows furrowed a bit at that little confession.  “What about before me?”

“Hmmm.  Not as much,” I shrugged.  “I don’t know why it’s different now.”  I  gave a half smile.  “Maybe it’s you.”

I thought he might reply with something funny or self-congratulatory, but instead he gave me a thoughtful look followed by another very sweet kiss.

We were leaned into each other so naturally and intimately, and it felt right.  Perfect.  Complete.  For the second time since we arrived in Mexico I considered the idea that maybe we were headed toward something more permanent.  

Holy shit.

--

(part 5)

[emilyrhaun]

An open letter to Carl Edwards from a Fan

I’m always afraid if I share my stories, that people will think I’m trying to brag. I never want to do that. It saddens my heart for those who haven’t had the chance to meet you. As much as I treasure all my memories, I would have traded some of them if it meant someone else would have had a chance to meet you. I want people to know what an amazing person you are. I think the world of you, Carl. And I’m proud of the man you are.

As hard as it is to see you leave the sport, the hardest part for me is not having an opportunity to say goodbye. It feels like I’ve lost a friend that I’ll never see again. And I’m just a fan and know that’s a bit selfish. But I just want to try to express what you’ve meant to me…what you’ve meant to so many. So this is my goodbye, my feeble attempt to show my appreciation, even though you may never see it.

August 22, 2007.  That was the day you first (physically) flew in to my life. Three days later you won your first Bristol night race. I’d become a NASCAR fan a mere few weeks earlier BECAUSE of you. This was the first race I’d been to since. I like to tell people you flipped for me. You did flip for me, along with more than 100,000 other fans. But I digress.

While not knowing anything about the sport or its stars, I did have a good time at the two NASCAR races I’d been to. In October 2006, my flight instructor had flown us to Talladega for my first ever race. Then I watched you win the (then) Busch series race at Bristol in March of 2007. I enjoyed being at the races but really didn’t have much interest in watching until I was indirectly introduced to you because of my sister. Summer of 2007, while watching part of a race with her, she told a story about you that I wanted to hear more about so I went to the Internet to see what I could find.

Your charisma and charm shone through each story I viewed. Article after article, I read for hours and you drew me in. I don’t remember the words, I just remember laughing. Marilyn Monroe once said “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” She was right. You made me laugh. So you could make me do anything. And you did. You turned me into a NASCAR fan. You compelled me to be YOUR fan simply through what I read. Before then, I don’t think I would have even recognized you. When I saw you on TV later, your personality was even bolder, your smile contagious. I was captivated.

Fast forward to that hot August day when you flew in to the Gatlinburg Pigeon Forge Airport. I was a bit nervous that your appearance at Food City Race night would be cancelled because the Michigan race had been delayed due to rain. My fears subsided when a vertically-challenged white-haired man walked in to wait for you. That was when I first met Randy Fuller. I had no idea who he was. I thought maybe he was someone there to meet you for the autograph session. Or maybe he was your bouncer? A bit later you were on the radio, preparing to land. I didn’t usually talk on the radio. I didn’t like to. But by then, I knew your voice and couldn’t contain my excitement, so I jumped on the radio and said, “Welcome to Gatlinburg, Carl.”  

“Thank-you. It’s beautiful  here.” That was NASCAR driver, Carl Edwards! MY favorite NASCAR driver’s first words to me! I couldn’t believe that I was talking to you so soon after I became a fan! I went on to say something I thought was funny, but in reality it wasn’t. That’s when I realized that apparently my brain wasn’t going to work around you that day. Neither was my tongue. I’d never seen any felines around the airport, but one must have come out of hiding because after you got out of your Meridian all I could do was stand at a distance and watch. Luckily my boss asked if we could get a picture and you graciously obliged. I would soon learn that was quintessential Carl Edwards.

After that first meeting, I was an even bigger fan. I got to see you interact with other fans. You went out of your way to tell us goodbye before you left the airport. I was grateful and relieved. You never know how a celebrity will act face-to-face. I didn’t want to be disappointed. You were everything you appeared to be and more.

The next time I saw you was the following April in Nashville. You were signing for your fans in typical Carl fashion. Assuming you would not remember me, I still decided to mention when and where we met. You looked up at me and said you did remember me, just not my name. I was completely shocked. How could Carl Edwards remember ME?

I was blessed to see you several times over the last 9 years. From you singing “Happy Birthday” to me at Daytona, to being on “Trackside” in costume for the Halloween episode in Talladega, to you coming over and thanking ME after you were voted into the All-Star race, to our first selfie- before selfie was even a word, there are so many great memories that I’ll never forget.

There were also times you broke my heart. Earlier this year a friend told me to go get a photo with you. When I walked over, you looked surprised and asked, “You want a photo with me?” I always wanted a photo with you. But having already had that opportunity, I didn’t want to bother you with photos. I felt like you thought I wasn’t a fan anymore. It was never that. I wanted to let others have the opportunity to see you. And I didn’t want to be a nuisance. You even questioning whether I want a picture, or if I’m a fan, is just part of your humility. I will ALWAYS be a fan.

Most of all I’ll always remember how you treated me. You’d call out my name like I was a friend you’d known forever, you’d go out of your way to hug me, to thank me, to say hello. But it wasn’t just for me. I’d see you do that with all your fans. You’ve got such a big heart. You made us feel special, important, like you cared. Your face would light up when you recognized a fan. You were always so appreciative, so gracious, so sincere. That’s what made your fans love you. That’s what made us care. That’s why we feel such a bond with you. We laughed at your goofy jokes, celebrated with you in your victories, defended you against your “enemies,” and cried with you during your heartbreak.

While you were on stage waiting to be introduced for the last time, your last words (mouthed) to me were “Thank-you.” Although “Thank-you” isn’t sufficient, those should be MY words to you. Thanks for the memories.  Thanks for the laughs. Thanks for putting up with my never-ending love of photography. Thanks for always bringing a smile to my face. Thanks for bringing NASCAR into my life. Thanks for giving me someone to cheer for during the last 10 years. Thanks for allowing me to be part of your team. Thanks for always making me proud to be your fan. Thanks for spending a few moments of your life with me and giving me those memories that will last a lifetime.

Most of all, I want to thank-you for the friendships I have because of you. I met one of my closest friends on one of your fan boards. We like to tell people you introduced us. Another of my closest friends I only know because of NASCAR…because of you. I couldn’t imagine my life without either of these people in it. I could go on and on. There are countless others that I’ve met and that are in my life because of you, friendships that will last a lifetime.

It’s going to be hard to watch a race again without you behind the wheel. But as much as I’m going to miss the racecar driver; I’m going to miss the person more. As heartbroken as I am and as difficult as it is for me, I know my feelings can’t compare to yours. I know how hard it must be for you to give up something you love so much, something you’re so passionate about. The future can be scary, but I admire you for following your heart. I truly admire and respect your decision.

I became a fan because of your personality, but remained a fan because of your character. You’re funny, charismatic and charming. You’re loyal, considerate, and unassuming. You’re generous with your time. You were humble in victory, gracious in defeat. You had the strength to stand up for yourself when necessary, courage to make the tough decisions. You’re a true champion. I’m blessed to have known you, privileged to have met you, and honored to be a fan.      

Good luck in your future endeavors and God Bless you and your family.

Your forever fan,

Emily Haun

P.S. I know people like to harass you about not being on social media, but I’m pretty sure you were on Facebook even before the rest of the NASCAR world really got into it. :-)

[brajeshupadhyay]

Trump’s inflammatory behaviour shows how out of step he is with shifting national sentiment on racial justice, as big corporations, sports leagues and cultural institutions express greater solidarity with Black Americans protesting systemic racism President Donald Trump mounted an explicit defence of the Confederate flag on Monday, suggesting that NASCAR had made a mistake in banning it from its auto racing events, while falsely accusing a top Black driver, Darrell Wallace Jr, of perpetrating a hoax involving a noose found in his garage. The remarks are part of a pattern. Almost every day in the last two weeks, Trump has sought to stoke White fear and resentment, portraying himself as a protector of an old order that polls show much of America believes perpetuates entrenched racism and wants to move beyond. Two weeks ago, the president retweeted a video of a supporter shouting “white power” at a retirement community filled with older people whom he wants to win over. Last week, he wrote that he was reviewing a fair housing regulation that is aimed at eliminating racial housing disparities in the suburbs, but that he said would have a “devastating impact” on those communities — a play to White suburbanites whose votes would be crucial to his reelection. On Monday, he also tweeted his displeasure with sports teams that are reviewing the appropriateness of nicknames that are offensive to Native Americans, seeking to curry favour with Americans who believe political correctness has gone too far. He has invoked fear of crime with tweets about sanctuary cities and crime rates in New York and Chicago, and has spoken of preserving “our heritage,” picking up the language of those who want to honour the Confederacy. For many Republicans who are watching the president’s effect on Senate races with alarm, his focus on racial and cultural flashpoints — and not on the surge of the coronavirus in many states — is distressing. “This is part of the same selfish, divide-and-conquer strategy that helped the president get elected in 2016,” said Carlos Curbelo, a former Republican congressman from Florida who has been critical of Trump. “Of course that strategy worked for much of the president’s base, and it certainly benefited him in the past, but it’s selfish in the sense that it is extremely damaging for Republicans in swing states, in swing districts.” Curbelo added, “It’s always been clear, but this is a reminder that the president looks out for himself first, second and third.” Trump’s inflammatory behaviour shows how out of step he is with shifting national sentiment on racial justice, as big corporations, sports leagues and cultural institutions express greater solidarity with Black Americans protesting systemic racism. Even some Republicans have been open to discussions about removing Confederate statues. While NASCAR and other organisations have moved to retire symbols of the Confederacy, and lawmakers in Mississippi voted to bring down the state flag featuring the Confederate battle emblem, Trump continues to cast himself as a defender of the history of the American South, despite its stains of slavery and oppression. He has called the phrase “Black Lives Matter” a “symbol of hate,” and he has repeatedly tried to depict pockets of violence during protests against entrenched racism as representative of the protest movement as a whole. Trump also delivered official speeches over the weekend that emphasised defending American historical figures like George Washington and some abolitionists, though he avoided explicit references to totems of the Confederacy. But on Monday he was back invoking the Confederacy, with his reference to NASCAR’s ban on Confederate flags, while also attacking Wallace, the only Black driver on NASCAR’s top circuit. Wallace, nicknamed “Bubba,” had called for NASCAR to ban the flag from its events, and the sport agreed to prohibit it from its races and its properties. At the start of race week at the Talladega Superspeedway in Alabama last month, a member of Wallace’s racing team found a noose hanging in the driver’s garage stall and reported it to NASCAR. “Has @BubbaWallace apologized to all of those great NASCAR drivers & officials who came to his aid, stood by his side, & were willing to sacrifice everything for him, only to find out that the whole thing was just another HOAX? That & Flag decision has caused lowest ratings EVER!” Trump posted on Twitter on Monday. Kayleigh McEnany, the White House press secretary, offered a contorted defence of Trump’s tweet about the Confederate flag and Wallace during an early afternoon briefing. She insisted Trump was being taken out of context, and invoked Jussie Smollet, the Black television actor known for his role on the TV series Empire, who is facing charges that he lied to the authorities about a hate crime attack that detectives said he had staged last year in Chicago. No one has credibly suggested Wallace manufactured the noose that was discovered in his garage stall by a colleague. FBI officials later found that the knot had been tied into the rope as early as October 2019, well before anyone would have known that Wallace would be assigned that stall for the race. McEnany claimed that the original reports about the incident painted NASCAR members as “racist individuals who were roaming around and engaging in a crime.” But Trump received pushback from Senator Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina and an informal advisor to the president, who said Monday that he disagreed with Trump’s tweet. “They’re trying to grow the sport,” Graham said, according to the CNN reporter Manu Raju, referring to NASCAR’s ban on Confederate flags, which it announced last month. “And I’ve lived in South Carolina all my life and if you’re in business, the Confederate flag is not a good way to grow your business.” Graham, who is facing a strong challenge from Jaime Harrison, a Black Democrat, in his reelection bid, said that “one way you grow the sport is you take images that divide us and ask that they not be brought into the venue. That makes sense to me.” He said that Wallace did not have “anything to apologise for,” and that his fellow drivers should be applauded for supporting him. “I would be looking to celebrate that kind of attitude more than being worried about it being a hoax,” Graham said, according to Raju. (Trump was also wrong in his tweet in characterising NASCAR’s television audience as having fallen to its “lowest ratings EVER!” The broadcast of Sunday’s Brickyard 400 was seen by about 4.3 million viewers, a 39 percent increase from the average NASCAR race that aired on NBC last year, according to Nielsen.) Later on Monday, Trump added another inflammatory tweet, weighing in on recent announcements by the Washington Redskins of the NFL and the Cleveland Indians of Major League Baseball that the teams would review their names. While many Native Americans and other advocates for change consider the names deeply offensive, Trump baselessly claimed that Native Americans would be “very angry” about the potential changes. “They name teams out of STRENGTH, not weakness, but now the Washington Redskins & Cleveland Indians, two fabled sports franchises, look like they are going to be changing their names in order to be politically correct,” Trump tweeted. He added a jab at a favourite target, Senator Elizabeth Warren, D-Massachusetts, who has apologised for her past claims of Native ancestry. “Indians, like Elizabeth Warren, must be very angry right now,” the president wrote. Eleven minutes later, Trump again referred to the coronavirus as the “China Virus,” a phrase that critics say is racist, xenophobic and harmful to Asian-Americans. Trump’s tweets came just days after he delivered a divisive speech at Mount Rushmore in South Dakota as part of the 4 July holiday, in which he denounced Democrats as radical anarchists and said that children are taught in schools to “hate” the United States. In that address he avoided specifically mentioning anything related to Confederate monuments. He talked more generally about efforts to take down statues across the country, conflating what is primarily an attempt to remove statues of Confederate generals with others questioning monuments to people like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. “Angry mobs are trying to tear down statues of our founders, deface our most sacred memorials, and unleash a wave of violent crime in our cities,” Trump said in the speech. “Many of these people have no idea why they are doing this, but some know exactly what they are doing.” Some of Trump’s advisors have tried to persuade him to focus less explicitly on statues of Confederate generals, given that he is taking an unpopular position. But after sticking to the script in his Friday night speech, he was clear about his support for the Confederate flag in his tweet on Monday. Maggie Haberman c.2020 The New York Times Company Find latest and upcoming tech gadgets online on Tech2 Gadgets. Get technology news, gadgets reviews & ratings. Popular gadgets including laptop, tablet and mobile specifications, features, prices, comparison. The post Donald Trump’s defence of Confederate flag adds to playbook of stoking White fear, resentment appeared first on Sansaar Times.

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/07/donald-trumps-defence-of-confederate.html

[alanm00ch]

State of NASCAR, And How To Fix It (Pt. 2)

So in my last blog, I talked about how to fix the aerodynamics of the car with NASCAR Project X-3 in the Xfinity and Cup Series. This blog is gonna talk about the schedule and how people make suggestions on WHAT to do.

When you talk about the schedule, you OBVIOUSLY have to look at the “cookie cutter” tracks, basically, the 1.5 mile speedways. Built up during the BOOM of NASCAR in ‘90s-’00s. Gone are the boom days. We went from what made NASCAR boom to “Oh... we go to ANOTHER mile and a half track... whoop-de-doo...”  Or “Oh... Pocono... yay...” and some the tracks on the schedule are NOT fun to watch. I’m gonna point out the HORRIBLE tracks to watch imo :

1 - Michigan 

2 - Pocono

3 - New Hampshire

4 - Las vegas

Other Youtubers added Texas, Phoenix, and AutoClub to the mix.  I can agree with Texas, not sure about Phoenix because that track is hit and miss, and I 100% disagree with Auto Club. Auto Club is GOOD.

This year, NASCAR eliminated a Loudon race, so that’s 1 less boring race... if they gave it to a GOOD track. NOPE!! Instead, they gave it to... LAS VEGAS?!?!? REALLY!?!?! COME ON!! Oh, and Charlotte now has a ro-val... ohhh the CRINGE I have for that one. Oh, and HOW do they get off the hype of the Darlington weekend this year? INDY!??!? COME ON!! SERIOUSLY!?!? Indy was FINE WHERE IT WAS!! Granted, I don’t the track is all that good. BUT, it IS an iconic raceway, and I LOVE the history of IMS, so I’ll keep it. Richmond gets a Chase race. So the schedule is all kinds of messed up. So time to fix it.

here was one solution given from a video I watched (Link here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4dE41a4Rlw&t=4s) If you don’t watch the video, here’s the schedule changes the creator made :

1) send a race to Rockingham and eliminate 1 Texas Race

2) Phoenix keeps its fall date, but loses it’s West Coast Swing race to Mexico City

3) Replace Auto Club with Washington (and make Washington a restrictor plate race)

4) Eliminate the Charlotte fall race and give that date to Sonoma and give the Summer date to Montreal, Canada.

5) Eliminate 1 Kansas race and give it to ElDora.

6) Cut 1 Michigan and give it Road America.

7) Eliminate 1 Pocono race and give send the Cup Drivers to either Germany or England.

8) Loudon loses a race to a short track in Colorado.

For those of you who think “pht, THOSE changes are dumb.” You’re right, some changes ARE dumb, but not ALL of them. Trust me, some ideas I like and others I do NOT like. Here’s my counter arguments to all points :

1) Europe - creator brings up sending the Cup Series "across the pond" to race in Europe. I STRONGLY disagree with that. First point, that's 2 bye weeks JUST for travel to AND from Europe (side note : The Cup Series has 3 allotted off weeks, 1 off for Easter, and the 2 travel weeks make 3.) Second off : HOW are you getting the Cup cars AND the pit crew equipment PLUS the pit boxes to Europe? That's EXTRA money out of the teams pockets and not ALL the teams can afford to go to Europe.

2) Mexico and Canada - to Mexico City and Montreal hosting a race each. Okay, sure, we can race in those cities... BUT you get a tourist card with an allotted amount of time before you have to pack and get out (I googled it). No extended stays. So if it rains on race day and you have a week of being in Mexico or Canada, good luck running that race if you didn't bring rain tires... assuming GoodYear MADE rain tires for those weekends. if they didn't? You're screwed.

3) Washington - Oh, gosh, where do I begin? Sure, Washington (the state) gave us drivers in Greg Biffle and Kasey Kahne; however, I don't see Washington as a state that has the power (or any location in the state of Washington) to host a NASCAR race. Not to mention, WHERE in Washington are you putting the speedway?

4) Colorado - Good Lord, do I WISH they would put a track up in Colorado. And With Furniture Row Racing in Denver, it would be PERFECT to have a home track for that team. So a group of people have been TRYING to get a speedway up there. State of the art and NEVER seen before look that would make Colorado a racing state; HOWEVER, city council CONSTANTLY shuts it down, saying  "It's a pipe dream" and to "forget it." If it FINALLY DOES happen, then it's only a matter of time before I'm shoving Phoenix out of the Chase to make room for Colorado and putting Aurora under the lights.

5) ElDora, Auto Club, Charlotte, and Rockingham - I became a NASCAR fan in 2002, 2 years prior to last race Rockingham ever hosted. While yes, having Rockingham revived and on the schedule would be SUPER COOL because I'd be buzzing about seeing racing at the track I never got to see in action, I DO have to point out OWNERSHIP of the speedway has swapped hands SO MANY TIMES it's hard to keep track of it. No stable ownership means there's no way NASCAR returns. And for ElDora... SO SMALL! Seriously, the cup cars would have NO SPACE to pass. Cautions would be so frequent and so often... it wouldn't be fun to watch. I LOVE Auto Club. I'd go as far as to ask WHY (in 2018) DID NASCAR GIVE VEGAS TWO RACES?!?!? Vegas Chase race can go BYE BYE and that goes to night race in Auto Club. Charlotte is the home track of NASCAR, so that keeps all the events it hosts. But for THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY DID THEY DECIDE THE ROVAL WAS A GOOD IDEA!?!?!?

So here’s how I’m gonna fix the schedule :

1) for sakes of my schedule say in this alternate reality, the motor sports community of Colorado wins and the council of Aurora FINALLY gives the state of Colorado a 1 mile oval that can seat 200,000 fans, with the surface banked at 24º all the way around the speedway and the walls orange and blue to pay homage to the Broncos. Perfect. that takes Phoenix out of the chase and keeps it on the West Coast swing. And make it a Saturday Night race the weekend RIGHT BEFORE Homestead, and you got a packed house in Colorado. YEARLY. To the point we could argue for a 2nd date, possibly.

2) Kansas, Texas, Michigan, Las Vegas, and Pocono all lose 1 race. for replacements of those races : Gateway, Iowa, Milwaukee, and Road America, and Auto Club Speedway gets a 2nd date under the lights in the Chase.

3) Dover Chase race stays and keeps it’s spring race; however, the Chase race goes UNDER the lights on a Saturday night. We’re also moving race Dover race 1 to June following the Coca-Cola 600.

4) the Charlotte Chase race stays, but it’s NOT going to the roval. rather, it’s going back to the oval and back on a Saturday night where it RIGHTFULLY belongs.

5) Go back to a 2017 type schedule. that actually WORKED. And when a schedule has worked for so long, why change it?

6) Indianapolis gets put BACK in the summer swing of NASCAR between Kentucky and Watkins Glen, giving Richmond it’s Chase Cut off slot back.

So with those changes, let’s look at the new NASCAR Cup Series schedule :

Advanced Auto Parts Clash Can-Am Duels Daytona Atlanta Las Vegas Phoenix Auto Club Martinsville Texas Bristol Richmond (Day) Talladega Kansas (Night) All-Star Night Charlotte Dover Pocono Michigan Sonoma Chicagoland Daytona (Night) Kentucky (Night) Indianapolis Milwaukee (Night) Watkins Glen Iowa (Night) Bristol (night) Darlington Richmond (Night) ==== Chase ==== Auto Club (Night) Road America Dover (Night) Charlotte (Oval, Night) Loudon Talladega Martinsville (Night) Gateway (Night) Aurora (Night)* Homestead

Notice how there’s 1 new road courses and 3 new short tracks added and the addition of 6 more night races? Saturday night races on the short tracks are the roots of where race-car drivers grit their teeth and gained racing experience, so why not add more? Besides, night racing is FUN to watch.

The Xfinity schedule gets Martinsville in the Xfinity Chase, ramping the season to 34 races, and the Trucks get a MAJOR overhaul to 30-32 races. I’m not gonna dive into theses changes because I went on long enough. So next time I blog, I’m gonna talk about the Chase... and how we need to fix it.

[streetcornertwoam]

babbling in those tags about high school memories reminded me the other night i remembered this one time freshmen yr in creative writing...

we were like in groups or something writing something, i don’t remember lmao

anyway...when one of the girls who was a senior in the class asked the teacher how to spell ‘schizophrenic’ and i don’t totally remember what her response was, but basically kinda laughed and said they’d have to look in the dictionary

and...i NEVER talked in class...ever

not...any class...not if i didn’t really have to

(or unless i definitely 1000% KNEW the answer and i wouldn’t look like an idiot for saying the wrong thing but even then...nah mate lol)

anyway...so i think she decided she was gonna use a different word, or maybe went to look it up...(again don’t totally remember) but i just busted out how to spell it

‘cause while i’d never claim to be smart or know many things, one thing i do say about myself is...i’ve always been pretty good at spelling 

(now admittedly i only knew how to spell that ‘cause i had a shirt that said it. y’know those shirts from hot topic back in the day? the ones that are super cringe now? but like then it was like ‘lol schizophrenic’ that’s funny. yea sorry)

BUT STILL...i knew how to spell it...i was a freshmen...and i just told this senior girl and my teacher how to spell this word

and...fuck if i can remember their reactions...i think mrs. linder said something like ‘sounds right to me’ or something, and i think she looked it up and yea obvs it was right

but it’s one of those things looking back...that’s maybe a sorta weird thing to just know how to spell? idk

that was my favorite class though...i wish i could have taken it all four yrs but it was an elective class so i couldn’t

there was also the one time i had to make up a quiz i missed when i was sick in science

(and yea i was...such a bad student i just...straight up never did homework, so i had to repeat freshmen science three yrs in a row...yea lucky for me...me and the teacher super got along lmao)

ANYWAY....so go up to grab the quiz and head to the library to take it and i grab it and he’s just...got a death grip on it and i wasn’t expecting it and he finally lets it go laughing...and i just...hit him with the paper????? and he just keeps laughing and it’s again...one of those things i just did without thinking and so y’know...i think i was a junior when this happened...so y’know...all these freshmen are just watching me ‘hit’ the teacher and i just walk out of the room

i think i might have said something to him...i don’t remember what. but bet you can’t guess what i did when i came back and gave it back to him? yup...the same thing he did to me. and he didn’t even expect it which made it all the sweeter lol

he also always liked to call kids up to get papers back in funny ways...so if he could do something fun with your name he would...

now i don’t think he started doing this til my sophomore yr, though i might be wrong...but *sigh* every time i got... ‘WILLLLLSOOOONNN!!! WILSON I’M SORRY!!!’

y’know...Castaway? yuuuuup

which y’know...it was funny, but it was also embarrassing...which is why he did it

and then there was one time...again i think sophomore yr...i don’t remember how it got started but it was like...valentine’s day or something, and he was talking about presents and he just was like ‘how would you react if your boyfriend got you a plant?’ or something like that i don’t remember exact wording but, i remember it was definitely ‘a plant’. and i was just so bluntly like ‘i don’t have a boyfriend’. and he was taken aback for a second...i don’t know why, but it was funny...and he was like ‘hypothetically...’ and i don’t remember anything beyond that haha

then (lmao this is just gonna be random high school memories you’re welcome) there was the one time in intro. biology (junior yr, second science class, in same soom as other science class lol), we were watching mythbusters...and of course...what movie clip do they show? yup.

now...intro was a different teacher, but mr. emery (the first science teacher) would frequently come in and out of the room to do things since it was also his room and he was of course...in the room for ‘WILSON!!! WILSON I’M SORRY!’. and we made eye contact he tried not to smile and then he just walked outta the room...lol

another one that i remembered from the other night along with my spelling prowess was...again one of the few times i ever spoke up in class...

junior yr...history...we had a sub...and our teacher did this quiz game thing and whatever...so the sub had done it with us and i don’t remember why but he then just did like...bonus questions about random shit that didn’t have to do with history. and he asks this question like...who recently won some award or presented some award...i don’t know...he’d done something lol. i don’t remember the award ‘cause it wasn’t anything i’d ever heard of at that time and so we were all like ‘uhhhhhh what?’ so then he had to think of something we’d know this guy from...

and then he’s like... ‘who played the french race car driver in talladega nights?’ and i was just like ‘sacha baron cohen?’ and obvs correct and my ‘team’ cheered and were like ‘HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT??’ and like...i had literally like the night before been looking him up ‘cause that was back whenever i watched something and i saw someone new that i liked i immediately went to their imdb and just...learned all i could. oh and i think that made my team the winning team btw

so basically anytime i spoke up it was just...super weird and awkward lol

i could probably think of other things, but it’s 2 a.m. and i should go to bed...

one last quick one...

back to mr. welch and speech class (another class i had to retake ‘cause again...super loser anyway) so i ended up being in the class with my younger sister and anyway...one time she did a speech on golf i think it was....must have been

and i said to her that we should ask him if you could show one of the scenes from caddyshack (i don’t remember which one) and we asked him and he laughed and basically said yea ok ask long as it’s NOT the scene where they get high and we laughed and promised no no of course not

so...lmao...goddammit...it was the remotes fault...i’m trying to help her get the video to play ‘cause it’s my dvd and i’m trying to skip or whatever and THE SCENE JUST STARTS PLAYING AND I’M LIKE AHHHHH!

and he’s just laughing and like I TOLD YOU NOT THIS SCENE 

and i’m just like frantically trying to get it to stop do something...and it was just...a mess but goddammit it was funny

well that’s enough remembering my high school memories for now

hopefully i won’t have any weird dreams now...there were a few times after high school i had dreams that mr. welch was in and it was just O.O

nothing bad happened...it was just when i woke up it was like whyyyyyyyy

(ok there was the one i had and we were slow dancing but y’know...it’s fine)

it was so weird...lol i don’t remember much about it other than that...and that’s just ‘cause it was so fucking weird

........i was weird though i mean...we got him a birthday present???? like...lmao

idk it’s maybe not that weird...but...no it’s weird lmao

whatever it’s fine...he was turning 40...how am i NOT gonna get him something?

....i’m gonna have weird dreams tonight aren’t i

i mean....i only dreamt last night that dan and phil came to my house and just stayed for a week and we just...hung out

which y’know...is fine but...like what? lol i don’t remember much...i remember just...literally laying around...and there were other people there but i don’t remember who but...it was just...laying around...laying on top of each other (in non sexual ways just like...chilling)

and then i was singing with phil....y’know as you do

and then they had to leave and it was super sad, and we just went out in my front yard and played in the snow?? and made bird noises???

like the bit i remember most clearly is the end (of course) and i was like face to face with dan and just...doing bird noises and i was trying to make him laugh so i just busted out some chicken noises and he kinda half smiled and i shoved him and i was like c’mon that was funny y’know that was funny and then...i don’t remember how this happened but he like tackled me? and then we just...rolled around...and kept rolling til we got to phil and then we just stopped and all just...lay there

it was um...it was an experience lmao

it’s weird how clearly i can still visualize dan’s face right in front of mine #themcurlsupclose

christ this is...too much go to bed self...

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

EXCLUSIVE: Judd Apatow on 'The Big Sick' and Clean Movies Censorship: 'It's Pretty Sleazy'

Mentorship is not a new hat for Judd Apatow -- after all, he's the guy who helped guide a then-unknown Lena Dunham and Girls to success. Lately though, he's only increased his efforts, with Pete Holmes on Crashing, Paul Rust on Love and now Kumail Nanjiani's first feature film, The Big Sick.

"I think it's among the best movies we've ever been a part of," Apatow says of The Big Sick, out June 23. "It's scary to come out in the summer against all these behemoths, but there's always room for one movie that people go see just because it's awesome. We're hoping that there's a little sleeper appeal."

I sat down with Apatow at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills, along with fellow producer Barry Mendel (who produced Apatow's Funny People, This Is 40 and Trainwreck, as well as Oscar-nominated films The Sixth Sense and Munich), to discuss their movie and Sony's now-scuttled "clean" movies initiative, which Apatow denounced on Twitter, saying, "Shove the clean versions up your a**es!"

RELATED: How Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon Turned Their Heartbreak and Happiness Into 'The Big Sick'

Amazon Studios

ET: You both have had long careers, including numerous movies you've worked on together. In terms of looking for projects, what do you find inspires you these days?

Judd Apatow: I like human comedies -- or dramedies. More than anything, I'm interested in people just dealing with everyday things that are difficult, and there is more than enough comedy and drama in that. Every once in a while it's fun to do something big and silly, so I also really enjoy when I get a chance to work with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay or with the Lonely Island guys. But I'm always fascinated by people dealing with the everyday difficult stuff in life.

Barry Mendel: For me, it's like, I forgot who said it -- it was maybe Jesse Helms? -- about pornography: "I don't how I describe it, but I know it when I see it." [Laughs] I'm more that way. I don't really have a philosophy about it. In this case, when Kumail came in and told us the story of what happened with Emily, it was just like, "Wow." Just, like, the light goes on.

Do you think a project can ever be too autobiographical?

Apatow: I think the key is that you have to always be aware that it's a movie. The audience doesn't care that most of this happened. They just want a good movie. During development, we definitely said, "Well, that's what happened, but it's kind of boring. So, maybe we could spice that up a little bit." [Laughs] We're not presenting this as an 100 percent accurate story. It's just the inspiration for our movie.

Many of your movies also draw inspiration from your life. Is that something you had to wrestle with in your writing, writing what you know but not being confined by the historical details?

Apatow: I just never thought anything about me was interesting, so I didn't think about writing from my personal experience.

Mendel: It's almost like the opposite journey, of writing about things that were fantastical and moving towards the personal.

Apatow: Yeah, and I think a lot of people do that! It's why people like Louis [C.K.], after decades of work as he got more and more personal, people connected with it more. It's always a big mix between fabricated and real things, as it should be. I mean, it's the only fodder you have to create with.

Amazon Studios

You are both known for nurturing young talent. And obviously that talent is what catches your eye, but what does someone like Kumail do to keep you invested?

Apatow: I think that he works so hard. I like working with people on their first movies. I think that you never get that level of effort again. And I think that most people only have a couple of amazing stories from their lives, so you're getting the best of them. And I like the passion that people have when they're trying to prove they can make a movie or be a movie star. Later in your career, you just get offered a script and maybe you get a week or two to punch it up, and maybe they rehearse it for a day before they shoot, and that's why a lot of movies don't come out well. But when you do something like this, where we developed it for three or four years before we shoot it, there's so much love and care that goes into it. That's what I like! I like being at the moment of inception for people.

Mendel: I would say Kristen [Wiig on Bridesmaids], Amy [Schumer] and Kumail had never written a script before, so they're panicked every night. They're waking up in the middle of the night with ideas and writing them down. It's like they can't believe they're getting paid to do it. It's not a job. It's the greatest thing that ever happened to them. So, it's so great for us to get to work with people who have that vibe about what we're doing. It refreshes our experience of what we do.

Apatow: Because when you're making your 20th movie, it might be the 20th most incredible thing that's ever happened to you! [Laughs]

Judd, how do you balance producing those projects with writing and directing your own?

Apatow: It always energizes me with my own work. It's always a reminder how much I should care and how truthful I can be. I think in the last few years, I haven't been able to write as much, because I've been working on the TV show with Pete Holmes, Crashing, and Love on Netflix. But that's OK, because I think the world is changing and all that matters is that I'm creating things.

Mendel: You're also working on your third documentary.

Apatow: Yes. I'm working on a documentary about Garry Shandling right now and we have a documentary about the Avett Brothers that's going to be on HBO in January. So, I've been enjoying that format. I'm just happy to make stuff. Ultimately, I don't think it matters what the frequency is of me writing or directing a movie. It doesn't really matter to anybody else. I'm just trying to put good things out there.

You recently called Sony Pictures' clean movies initiative "absolute bullsh*t." What would something like that mean for your movies? [Two films that Apatow produced, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and Step Brothers, were of the first films Sony made clean versions of.]

Apatow: Well, it goes against everything you want in your relationship with a studio. The most important agreement you have is that they will not f**k with your movie once it's done. And so it's pretty sleazy to say, "We're going to take the version of the movie you like the least and try to distribute it to even more people." When you edit a movie for television or for an airline, you're doing it very reluctantly. And you don't want people to watch it that way! But it is part of the business that you can't prevent. It preceded you. But they're trying to create a new initiative, and we're allowed to say, "No. We've agreed to ruin our movies for television and airlines and we're hopeful that due to streaming, most people aren't watching it in those formats. We do not want to spread it." And our movies were not built to be made for children. That's the other weird part about it is, Now I can show it to six year olds! Well, even the essence of it isn't meant for six year olds, or whoever you're marketing it to. But it's a real violation of the spirit of our creative relationship, and I'm assuming that they will quickly realize it and not do it.

Getty Images

That basically answers my last question, which was you have the theatrical release and then sometimes an extended or unrated cut. Is there a way to make a PG or PG-13 version of your movie that you'd be happy with?

Apatow: That's not even the question. The question is, Whose decision is it? I could edit it to, like, a six minute short if I want to! But that becomes the decision of the filmmaker. If Martin Scorsese wants to do a 14-minute, clean Wolf of Wall Street for kindergarteners, I guess he should be allowed to do it. But certainly the head of the studio shouldn't be allowed to do that without his approval. That's the issue. And I do think it will get quickly resolved.

Mendel: In France they call it, Le Droit Moral.

Apatow: What does that mean?

Mendel: The moral rights. Of the artist. The artist is implied in the French version.

I kind of want to see that Wolf of Wall Street for kindergarteners. I think if you edited out any scene with swearing or nudity, it would only be 14 minutes anyway.

Apatow: [Laughs] Exactly. I remember watching Goodfellas on a plane once, and every time they said the C-word, instead they would say "Bundt cake." And you could tell it was kind of an eff you from someone in the Scorsese world. Actually, you know what it was? It was Glengarry Glen Ross. [Directed by James Foley.]

Mendel: We did it on Rushmore, too. We did "foot rub" for "handjob." Every time it said "handjob," we just said "foot rub."

Apatow: I think we had one where we were trying to replace every curse in the entire movie with the word "tomato."

[Note: As Apatow predicted, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment soon after announced they would no longer release the "clean version" of a film if the director objected, claiming, “We believed we had obtained approvals from the filmmakers involved for use of their previously supervised television versions as a value added extra on sales of the full version."]

[junker-town]

NASCAR Kansas preview: Ricky Stenhouse Jr., Roush Fenway Racing confident after Talladega win

Back in victory lane after a lengthy absence, Roush Fenway Racing is out to prove that its success isn’t limited solely to restrictor-plate tracks.

There were national media interviews, an evening out reveling with friends (which included singing karaoke and a late-night stop at a Waffle House), a celebratory photo in front of the team shop with company employees, even a lunch invitation from the governor of his home state.

This is what happens when someone wins a Monster Energy Cup Series race for the first time, as Ricky Stenhouse Jr. did last Sunday at Talladega Superspeedway. The significance was not lost on the driver, whose 157-race winless streak is now over.

“I saw some old teachers send out some things on social media, teachers of mine in classes when I was growing up,” Stenhouse said Friday at Kansas Speedway, site of Saturday night’s Go Bowling 400 (7:30 p.m. ET, FS1). “Just to have all your friends, people you race with at home, super proud of you. It was really cool. They know this was my biggest win of my career and toughest one. It was cool to see the response and made me feel really good.”

Wow what a way to end the night last night with a trip to the waffle at 3am after killing some karaoke or trying too #17in17

A post shared by @stenhousejr on May 10, 2017 at 7:46am PDT

But the importance extended beyond just Stenhouse. For Roush Fenway Racing, a once powerhouse team, Talladega snapped its nearly three-year winless drought spanning 101 races. It served as proof that, after a trying few seasons where its cars were slow and its place in the NASCAR pecking order was repeatedly questioned, relevance had been found.

Optimism abounds within RFF that it is truly on the path back to being consistently competitive. That watching Hendrick Motorsports, Joe Gibbs Racing, Team Penske, and Stewart-Haas Racing make repeated trips to victory lane, all while it struggled to squeeze out a mediocre result, is a thing of the past. That returning to being an elite organization like it had been for so many years — such as when it won consecutive Cup championships in 2003-04, or its five drivers constituted half of the then-10-driver playoff field in 2005 — is a realistic scenario again.

“I knew that we had the right mix of people in the right places this year, and if it would gel and we'd have a little bit of good fortune that we would win races,” team owner Jack Roush said at Talladega. “And we'll win a race with Trevor before the year is over unless I miss my guess.

“Hopefully we can get ourselves ready for this last 10 races to make a championship run. That's what I'm thinking.”

But does one Talladega win really signify anything? Fluky winners occur regularly in restrictor-plate races, with no shortage of drivers who won at Talladega and Daytona International Speedway and nowhere else. Four times a year these two tracks narrow the gap between the haves and the have-nots, giving hope to those who are largely uncompetitive every other week.

So was Sunday RFF’s coming out party? Or merely a team taking advantage of the unusual circumstances brought about anytime NASCAR employs restrictor plates, which clump drivers together in packs just inches apart and can make racing at Talladega and Daytona more about luck than anything else?

Stenhouse and Roush are adamant the answer is the former. The evidence they offer includes that Stenhouse had finished 10th or better in four of six races prior to Talladega, while teammate Trevor Bayne currently sits 16th in points and provisionally occupies the final playoff transfer position.

“I was feeling really good about our season before the win,” Stenhouse said. “That win just put us over the top of how we feel, but we know that we still have a job to do and that is to continue to make this organization better and our cars better and not make mistakes.”

On Friday, Stenhouse validated his assertion by posting the fourth-fastest time in qualifying, the third straight week he’ll start fourth or better. (Bayne qualified 16th.)

If Stenhouse can carry that speed into the race, it would give further credence that bigger things are ahead, following an offseason in whicih the team overhauled its operation with several sweeping personnel changes.

At a mile-and-a-half in length, Kansas epitomizes the kind of track that is the backbone of the schedule. That means a strong run Saturday night likely bodes well elsewhere — especially come the playoffs (which Stenhouse is now virtually assured of making), as five of the 10 tracks are similarly sized (including a return trip to Kansas).

“We know where we need to get better,” Stenhouse said. “The short tracks have been really good to us this year and we feel really good there. The speedways, we showed last week we had a lot of speed in qualifying and the race. We know we need to get better on the fast, smooth tracks like Las Vegas, Texas and here.”

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/03/10/bbc-the-weird-names-the-cia-gives-its-hacking-tools-17/

BBC: The weird names the CIA gives its hacking tools

Image copyright Getty Images

Thousands of documents said to detail the CIA’s hacking tools were published by Wikileaks on Tuesday, and many were given peculiar names by their makers. Here are five of the strangest.

Weeping Angel

One of the hacking tools that featured in a lot of headlines was the Weeping Angel that appears to get a Samsung Smart TV to record conversations.

It’s named after a character in the sci-fi TV series Doctor Who, which appears as still as a statue.

The name could have been chosen “because you think it is not alive but it is, you think it isn’t doing anything but it is” says Alan Woodward, a security researcher who advises Europol and previously advised UK spy agency GCHQ.

The leaks suggest the TV appears to turn itself off and, likewise, the weeping angel can appear to be frozen and come to life when you are not looking.

While the UK’s MI5 agency is said to have helped build this spyware, it’s possible CIA hackers from the US are also Doctor Who fans.

Another hacking tool, which attempts to listen to calls on systems such as Skype, is named after the Sontarans.

These characters look like potatoes and try to conquer the earth by emitting poisoned gas.

Ricky Bobby

Image copyright AP

The tool Ricky Bobby can control a computer remotely without detection using commands in Microsoft Windows, according to the leak.

But it is named after a far more conspicuous character.

Racing car driver Ricky Bobby was played by Will Ferrell in the 2006 film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

After crashing in a race, he runs round the track wearing only his helmet and underwear insisting he is on fire.

He also manages to get his best friend, Cal, to become a car racer.

This is not lost on the makers of Ricky Bobby the hacking tool.

When they made a listening post for RickyBobby, they called it Cal.

Starving Weasel

Image copyright AP

One of the leaks suggests hackers love naming their spy tools so much that they come up with names before they’ve made the tool.

Starving Weasel is from a long list of names for future tools chosen “because they are awesome”.

“These are mostly oblique references to things I like, TV tropes names that amuse me and situations or phrases at work encoded in toolname-esque obscurity,” says the person whose name has been replaced with User #77010.

Oblique is an understatement.

Starving Weasel is a reference to a lyric from mid-way through an 11-minute song by Weird Al Yankovic.

In the song Albuquerque, Weird Al goes to the doughnuts shop only to be told there are no doughnuts left but there is a “box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels”.

He buys the weasels and they jump out of their box and start eating his face, at which point he meets the woman of his dreams.

Maddening Whispers

Image copyright Getty Images

This is where the CIA hackers may reveal themselves in their geekiest form, because Maddening Whispers is a reference to the online role-playing game World of Warcraft.

“It’s almost too stereotypical – it’s really painting a picture of a hacker who likes pizza, beer, science fiction and online gaming,” says Mr Woodward.

The game sees players exploring a vast landscape full of monsters, completing quests and interacting with other gamers.

Maddening Whispers is a spell in the game, which, when you deploy it, slowly weakens your opponent.

As for the tool, it tries to get remote access to a device named Vanguard.

Mr Woodward is unsure what this refers to but suggests it could be Vanguard alarm systems.

Niche on both counts.

Snowy Owl

Image copyright Hawk Conservancy Trust

Some hacking tools are named after slightly more obvious signs of aggression: birds of prey.

Bald eagle, harpy eagle and sparrowhawk all feature.

A bird of prey can swoop on its victim almost silently.

Similarly, the sparrowhawk tool can detect the letters you are hitting on a keyboard without you having any idea you are being watched.

Then there is the less threatening snowy owl, which is described in the leaks as a tool designed to remotely operate a Mac computer.

There is a possibility it was not named after the bird at all but instead was inspired by the Brownies.

In a Brownie troop the Snowy Owl is an adult who helps the leader of the troop, the Brown Owl.

“Maybe we have our first indication that there is a woman involved,” speculates Mr Woodward.

This post has been harvested from the source link, and News-Twitter has no responsibility on its content. Source link

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/03/10/bbc-the-weird-names-the-cia-gives-its-hacking-tools-16/

BBC: The weird names the CIA gives its hacking tools

Image copyright Getty Images

Thousands of documents said to detail the CIA’s hacking tools were published by Wikileaks on Tuesday, and many were given peculiar names by their makers. Here are five of the strangest.

Weeping Angel

One of the hacking tools that featured in a lot of headlines was the Weeping Angel that appears to get a Samsung Smart TV to record conversations.

It’s named after a character in the sci-fi TV series Doctor Who, which appears as still as a statue.

The name could have been chosen “because you think it is not alive but it is, you think it isn’t doing anything but it is” says Alan Woodward, a security researcher who advises Europol and previously advised UK spy agency GCHQ.

The leaks suggest the TV appears to turn itself off and, likewise, the weeping angel can appear to be frozen and come to life when you are not looking.

While the UK’s MI5 agency is said to have helped build this spyware, it’s possible CIA hackers from the US are also Doctor Who fans.

Another hacking tool, which attempts to listen to calls on systems such as Skype, is named after the Sontarans.

These characters look like potatoes and try to conquer the earth by emitting poisoned gas.

Ricky Bobby

Image copyright AP

The tool Ricky Bobby can control a computer remotely without detection using commands in Microsoft Windows, according to the leak.

But it is named after a far more conspicuous character.

Racing car driver Ricky Bobby was played by Will Ferrell in the 2006 film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

After crashing in a race, he runs round the track wearing only his helmet and underwear insisting he is on fire.

He also manages to get his best friend, Cal, to become a car racer.

This is not lost on the makers of Ricky Bobby the hacking tool.

When they made a listening post for RickyBobby, they called it Cal.

Starving Weasel

Image copyright AP

One of the leaks suggests hackers love naming their spy tools so much that they come up with names before they’ve made the tool.

Starving Weasel is from a long list of names for future tools chosen “because they are awesome”.

“These are mostly oblique references to things I like, TV tropes names that amuse me and situations or phrases at work encoded in toolname-esque obscurity,” says the person whose name has been replaced with User #77010.

Oblique is an understatement.

Starving Weasel is a reference to a lyric from mid-way through an 11-minute song by Weird Al Yankovic.

In the song Albuquerque, Weird Al goes to the doughnuts shop only to be told there are no doughnuts left but there is a “box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels”.

He buys the weasels and they jump out of their box and start eating his face, at which point he meets the woman of his dreams.

Maddening Whispers

Image copyright Getty Images

This is where the CIA hackers may reveal themselves in their geekiest form, because Maddening Whispers is a reference to the online role-playing game World of Warcraft.

“It’s almost too stereotypical – it’s really painting a picture of a hacker who likes pizza, beer, science fiction and online gaming,” says Mr Woodward.

The game sees players exploring a vast landscape full of monsters, completing quests and interacting with other gamers.

Maddening Whispers is a spell in the game, which, when you deploy it, slowly weakens your opponent.

As for the tool, it tries to get remote access to a device named Vanguard.

Mr Woodward is unsure what this refers to but suggests it could be Vanguard alarm systems.

Niche on both counts.

Snowy Owl

Image copyright Hawk Conservancy Trust

Some hacking tools are named after slightly more obvious signs of aggression: birds of prey.

Bald eagle, harpy eagle and sparrowhawk all feature.

A bird of prey can swoop on its victim almost silently.

Similarly, the sparrowhawk tool can detect the letters you are hitting on a keyboard without you having any idea you are being watched.

Then there is the less threatening snowy owl, which is described in the leaks as a tool designed to remotely operate a Mac computer.

There is a possibility it was not named after the bird at all but instead was inspired by the Brownies.

In a Brownie troop the Snowy Owl is an adult who helps the leader of the troop, the Brown Owl.

“Maybe we have our first indication that there is a woman involved,” speculates Mr Woodward.

This post has been harvested from the source link, and News-Twitter has no responsibility on its content. Source link

[newstwitter-blog]

New Post has been published on News Twitter

New Post has been published on http://www.news-twitter.com/2017/03/10/bbc-the-weird-names-the-cia-gives-its-hacking-tools-14/

BBC: The weird names the CIA gives its hacking tools

Image copyright Getty Images

Thousands of documents said to detail the CIA’s hacking tools were published by Wikileaks on Tuesday, and many were given peculiar names by their makers. Here are five of the strangest.

Weeping Angel

One of the hacking tools that featured in a lot of headlines was the Weeping Angel that appears to get a Samsung Smart TV to record conversations.

It’s named after a character in the sci-fi TV series Doctor Who, which appears as still as a statue.

The name could have been chosen “because you think it is not alive but it is, you think it isn’t doing anything but it is” says Alan Woodward, a security researcher who advises Europol and previously advised UK spy agency GCHQ.

The leaks suggest the TV appears to turn itself off and, likewise, the weeping angel can appear to be frozen and come to life when you are not looking.

While the UK’s MI5 agency is said to have helped build this spyware, it’s possible CIA hackers from the US are also Doctor Who fans.

Another hacking tool, which attempts to listen to calls on systems such as Skype, is named after the Sontarans.

These characters look like potatoes and try to conquer the earth by emitting poisoned gas.

Ricky Bobby

Image copyright AP

The tool Ricky Bobby can control a computer remotely without detection using commands in Microsoft Windows, according to the leak.

But it is named after a far more conspicuous character.

Racing car driver Ricky Bobby was played by Will Ferrell in the 2006 film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

After crashing in a race, he runs round the track wearing only his helmet and underwear insisting he is on fire.

He also manages to get his best friend, Cal, to become a car racer.

This is not lost on the makers of Ricky Bobby the hacking tool.

When they made a listening post for RickyBobby, they called it Cal.

Starving Weasel

Image copyright AP

One of the leaks suggests hackers love naming their spy tools so much that they come up with names before they’ve made the tool.

Starving Weasel is from a long list of names for future tools chosen “because they are awesome”.

“These are mostly oblique references to things I like, TV tropes names that amuse me and situations or phrases at work encoded in toolname-esque obscurity,” says the person whose name has been replaced with User #77010.

Oblique is an understatement.

Starving Weasel is a reference to a lyric from mid-way through an 11-minute song by Weird Al Yankovic.

In the song Albuquerque, Weird Al goes to the doughnuts shop only to be told there are no doughnuts left but there is a “box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels”.

He buys the weasels and they jump out of their box and start eating his face, at which point he meets the woman of his dreams.

Maddening Whispers

Image copyright Getty Images

This is where the CIA hackers may reveal themselves in their geekiest form, because Maddening Whispers is a reference to the online role-playing game World of Warcraft.

“It’s almost too stereotypical – it’s really painting a picture of a hacker who likes pizza, beer, science fiction and online gaming,” says Mr Woodward.

The game sees players exploring a vast landscape full of monsters, completing quests and interacting with other gamers.

Maddening Whispers is a spell in the game, which, when you deploy it, slowly weakens your opponent.

As for the tool, it tries to get remote access to a device named Vanguard.

Mr Woodward is unsure what this refers to but suggests it could be Vanguard alarm systems.

Niche on both counts.

Snowy Owl

Image copyright Hawk Conservancy Trust

Some hacking tools are named after slightly more obvious signs of aggression: birds of prey.

Bald eagle, harpy eagle and sparrowhawk all feature.

A bird of prey can swoop on its victim almost silently.

Similarly, the sparrowhawk tool can detect the letters you are hitting on a keyboard without you having any idea you are being watched.

Then there is the less threatening snowy owl, which is described in the leaks as a tool designed to remotely operate a Mac computer.

There is a possibility it was not named after the bird at all but instead was inspired by the Brownies.

In a Brownie troop the Snowy Owl is an adult who helps the leader of the troop, the Brown Owl.

“Maybe we have our first indication that there is a woman involved,” speculates Mr Woodward.

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BBC: The weird names the CIA gives its hacking tools

Image copyright Getty Images

Thousands of documents said to detail the CIA’s hacking tools were published by Wikileaks on Tuesday, and many were given peculiar names by their makers. Here are five of the strangest.

Weeping Angel

One of the hacking tools that featured in a lot of headlines was the Weeping Angel that appears to get a Samsung Smart TV to record conversations.

It’s named after a character in the sci-fi TV series Doctor Who, which appears as still as a statue.

The name could have been chosen “because you think it is not alive but it is, you think it isn’t doing anything but it is” says Alan Woodward, a security researcher who advises Europol and previously advised UK spy agency GCHQ.

The leaks suggest the TV appears to turn itself off and, likewise, the weeping angel can appear to be frozen and come to life when you are not looking.

While the UK’s MI5 agency is said to have helped build this spyware, it’s possible CIA hackers from the US are also Doctor Who fans.

Another hacking tool, which attempts to listen to calls on systems such as Skype, is named after the Sontarans.

These characters look like potatoes and try to conquer the earth by emitting poisoned gas.

Ricky Bobby

Image copyright AP

The tool Ricky Bobby can control a computer remotely without detection using commands in Microsoft Windows, according to the leak.

But it is named after a far more conspicuous character.

Racing car driver Ricky Bobby was played by Will Ferrell in the 2006 film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

After crashing in a race, he runs round the track wearing only his helmet and underwear insisting he is on fire.

He also manages to get his best friend, Cal, to become a car racer.

This is not lost on the makers of Ricky Bobby the hacking tool.

When they made a listening post for RickyBobby, they called it Cal.

Starving Weasel

Image copyright AP

One of the leaks suggests hackers love naming their spy tools so much that they come up with names before they’ve made the tool.

Starving Weasel is from a long list of names for future tools chosen “because they are awesome”.

“These are mostly oblique references to things I like, TV tropes names that amuse me and situations or phrases at work encoded in toolname-esque obscurity,” says the person whose name has been replaced with User #77010.

Oblique is an understatement.

Starving Weasel is a reference to a lyric from mid-way through an 11-minute song by Weird Al Yankovic.

In the song Albuquerque, Weird Al goes to the doughnuts shop only to be told there are no doughnuts left but there is a “box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels”.

He buys the weasels and they jump out of their box and start eating his face, at which point he meets the woman of his dreams.

Maddening Whispers

Image copyright Getty Images

This is where the CIA hackers may reveal themselves in their geekiest form, because Maddening Whispers is a reference to the online role-playing game World of Warcraft.

“It’s almost too stereotypical – it’s really painting a picture of a hacker who likes pizza, beer, science fiction and online gaming,” says Mr Woodward.

The game sees players exploring a vast landscape full of monsters, completing quests and interacting with other gamers.

Maddening Whispers is a spell in the game, which, when you deploy it, slowly weakens your opponent.

As for the tool, it tries to get remote access to a device named Vanguard.

Mr Woodward is unsure what this refers to but suggests it could be Vanguard alarm systems.

Niche on both counts.

Snowy Owl

Image copyright Hawk Conservancy Trust

Some hacking tools are named after slightly more obvious signs of aggression: birds of prey.

Bald eagle, harpy eagle and sparrowhawk all feature.

A bird of prey can swoop on its victim almost silently.

Similarly, the sparrowhawk tool can detect the letters you are hitting on a keyboard without you having any idea you are being watched.

Then there is the less threatening snowy owl, which is described in the leaks as a tool designed to remotely operate a Mac computer.

There is a possibility it was not named after the bird at all but instead was inspired by the Brownies.

In a Brownie troop the Snowy Owl is an adult who helps the leader of the troop, the Brown Owl.

“Maybe we have our first indication that there is a woman involved,” speculates Mr Woodward.

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