#that feels something like imense guilt

[the-unofficial-village-idiot]

Mmmmmm imagine what it feels like to be held

[deadbeat-motel]

Deadbeat Motel: Lucifer

"You've come to seek the end have you?" a figure stands in its lonesome greeting his visitor.

The King of Hell as he once was called, it had been some centuries since anyone had addressed him by that title. The number of sinners who still knew him by that monicker dwindled as time marched on. Now the only ones who call him by that are prideful Overlords seeking to find an end to their long afterlives but would never let another claim the glory of being their executioner.

The Overlord before him didn't say much, opting to avert their gaze.

"The time to have shown shame was long before you came to my realm. If you truly wished to find an end, then look me in the eye."

When the overlord finally grew the courage to do so, they felt something pass through their body. Lucifer's arm had pierced them with the tips of those clawed fingers glittering like white angelic steel. The overlord looked at their torso, Lucifer's fingers definitely passed through their body but it left no mark. They were almost doubtful he did anything to them... but that's when they finally felt it. Its origin on their torso, small and focused like a snake's bite, radiated such an imense pain bringing the overlord to their hands and knees shaking.

"I never promised a painless death..." The overlord's body shakes and trembles as they choke through screams

"... toughen through the pain. You earned your place in hell, you need to earn your death."

That's where Lucifer comes in, being the only other angelic being in this place, he can offer the same end that these angels do with the sinners.

There always comes a time in every Overlord's afterlife where their mortal soul can no longer stand an eternal life of hell. Despite the angels overpassing these souls during the extermination, they are not free from other overlords. Paranoia seeps into their mind as the fear of who would eventually toture them never leaves their mind.

Trivia:

Zestiel, being the only mortal soul that has reached 700, has impressed Lucifer with how long he's kept clinging to his sanity. Though he assumes that once Carmilla is gone, he should soon be seeing him come through his doors.

Lucifer in the show shows disdain for sinners but I feel like they had to brush through it with their 8-episode limit. Which sucks so I amped it up to 11 here where he sees every human as disgusting for forsaking his gift of free will. He is quite hostile and antagonistic when interacting with sinners.

Lucifer has NOT seen Charlie since her birth, he was an absent father. Ever since he left, Lilith has broken all ties with him. Theres a deep pit of guilt and shame inside him that festers from his regrets.

While I am aware that Lucifer and the 7 sins have a circus motif going on. The execution is so bad I don't really want to attempt salvaging it. I'm scrapping his entire ringmaster vibe.

--------

This was an interesting idea i just wanted to get out in writing before I forgot.

[classified-coworker]

<[You received mail! It's a small box tied up with a little note]

'hey there, I recently lost my memories because of you! I think your aware and I just wanted to tell you that it was all my fault. I was a bitch and I'm sorry. So I made you this!'

<[it's a cute looking dessert!]

<[it looks like it was made with care. Right?]

- @c0worker-bryce

>[He sighs. However much he wants to decline the dessert, he's starving, having not eaten a thing in a couple days now. Plus, it seems so pleasant! He sits down and begins eating it.]

>[He feels guilty though, sitting at his desk and starting to type up a message for the man]

"Hello Bryce. I would like to apologize for the loss of your memory. Please, do not feel guilty for it. The entire situation was on me. I was reckless, giving you information that put not only me at risk, but you and maybe even your family at risk. Rather than asking you to keep it to yourself for the time being, or working something out with you, I chose to cause violence, and ultimately hurt you and your family anyways. I feel imense guilt for what I did, and it was noy worth ir, i wamt to apolofuse for ehat i did fo youu, and I wamy to malr id tihjt, if uoi'lk lrtttttdddddddddddddddd..."

>[He grows tired, slowly spacing out and eventually passing out at his desk with a thud, half eaten dessert still in his hand.]

[ihaveabsolutelynocluebutimtrying]

My old bag of bones

When I was around 12 or 13, a few months after I stopped going to the religious organization that prior to that had become my whole life, I wrote an enraged letter telling them just how I was far better of without them and how they were absolutely blind to the outside world.

In my fantasies, I would send out that letter, it would be open to reveal the margins I drew in to make it more polished, just like they taught us girls to write our christmas letters to St. Nicolaus, I could see very clearly a very specific sister reading it over breakfast and everyone being shocked at my audacity but maybe some of them touched by my arguments, and on their insides the seed of doubt and regret would grow.

Of course none of that happened and the letter is probably hidden inside one of my books now, but in my childish attempt at sounding ages beyond my years all I wished to achieve was that at least one of them would feel sorry for what they did to me, and what they did to all of the other girls. I wished that even in their sleep they thought about how many youths they stole, infusing us with a guilt that left a trail so last long it merged and transformed into other things. I wish I could make sister Ana live one day as me after they stopped picking me up so she could feel in her bones not belonging to a place so much it was almost a physical pain, so she could see that after I became a shadow of myself I had no friends at school anymore just 1 year after being voted class president, so she could feel what it was like getting home and spending the afternoon praying because if they left me than Jesus probably did as well, what it was like checking their website every time I got into my computer so I could see the pictures they posted of girls taking what should've been my place in the sick and twisted hierarchy we believed so much in, what it was like not being able to talk to my parents about the one thing that plagued my mind because they were glad I stopped going anyways.

I remember wanting to remember all of it, all the late night prayers at the chapel where all of us girls would say it was better dying than losing our virginity, all the pictures of the founder we had saved between pages in our prayer books, all the swapped language we had to adopt to differ ourselves from the outside world, all the great big beautiful castles we visited every weekend in a country where that is unheard of, all the scary tales we heard while sleepy on our van after a day of field trips, all the holy pain that surrounded us like a thick velvet, the pain we inflicted in ourselves to seem more saintly, or at least the one I did, all the silent breakfasts, the lunches that I helped in the kitchen and served everyone like it was an honorable task, all the times we had to kiss the ground after arriving late to dinner, all the names we wouldn't say because they belonged to girls that didn't belong there anymore, all the conversations I had with women 2 times my age that I would repeat in my head over and over to check for any mistakes, and that later I would check for reasons as to why they left me behind.

In a way, I was never abused there, I was fed, I was watched over and talked to, I even felt heard sometimes, I certainly got it a lot better than a lot of the boys and girls that went there, but still I can't seem to get it out of my system, I almost wish something terrible happened to me there so I could justify the imense hole in my soul it all left. It just seemed so hurtful that they didn't want me even after I made myself the most tame and docile I could ever be and offered my life as if it was a party favor, even at 12 I could feel that by the nature law they were predators, but setting myself up as prey just wasn't enough to make me desirable.

[danadriel]

"I got pregnant...thats one of the consequences you must take in to consideration when you do sex work and you have a womb, I did a fuck up with my birth control pills and shit happened, ok fine, my plan was to just go to a clinic and get an abortion, simple as that, but as things cant simply go straight foward in my life I was running dry on money, and it was taking ages for me to get money enough for the abortion so as consequece the pregnancy progressed, when I was able to finnaly borrow some money from a friend I was already 5 months in the pregnancy, and it was clear I was carrying multiples because my belly was really big for this stage of the pregnancy...this was disturbing me, back when my pregnancy was just a clump of cells inside me I was ok with the idea of aborting it...but now they were much more than that and I was feeling really guilt with the idea of gettting rid of them...

When the day arrived I went to the clinic trying to keep my mind focused on other things, but for my misfortune I met Sarah in the waiting room, just by looking at her I could see she was wealthy woman, just her purse alone was worth more than 3 months of my rent, she was also pregnant, contrary to me, she came to make prenatal exams and she could not shut up about it, she was so happy with the idea of being a mother she could barely contain her tongue, she started conversation with me asking about my babies and stuff, I lied to her alot and didnt told her I was there to have an abortion...talking with her made me feel even worse, to be honest I wanted to keep the babies, if I had the means to keep a family I would birth those children...But I cant! I a fucking wretch living in a shithole apartament with almost no food to speak of, I barely keep myself aflot even selling my body every night!would be cruel of me to bring children to this misery...thankfully my turn arrived before I started to cry and I was driven inside the procedure room to end this...last thing I remember was the nurse injecting something in my arm...then darkness.

I woke up with the sound of an annoying siren and its intermittent red light, I looked around and I was in some sort of medical room, but it was different , as I tried to lift myself from the bed I felt a imense weight in my belly, I looked down and my tummy was enormous! not just I was still pregnant but now I was like full term with triplets! had something went wrong with the procedure? but how the pregnancy could have progressed?? as I tried to understand my situation I noticed there was another bed at my side, and Sarah was there too! we were both hooked up to several medical machinery, once we were able to unhook ourselves we began to especulate what happened, but nothing made sense! we were both at full term pregnancy, it was like we spent months sleeping somehow! and all our stuff was gone, we were both wearing some sort of hospital gow with a armband, my one was orange and Sarah's was green, we tried to call for help but the place was deserted and the siren kept going, so we decided to leave the room and look for answers.

I was clear we were in a different place, there was no windows and no one in sight, there was several empty rooms like the one we wake up in...almost like a medical prison, we kept going for a while until we found an automatic door, as I opened it a body fell on my feet, my startle was only interrupted by noticing the corridor was riddle with bodies, they were all dressed like us, but they were tied and all had bullet wounds on their heads, they were executed! it was like some sort of war crime documentary in real life, Sarah was in shock, but we kept going trying to not trip in the dozens of bodies, in the end of the corridor there was another automatic door, and we could hear screams on the other side, we rushed to see what was happening, we entered the next room and there was a large feline woman with an axe absolutely butchering an security dressed man in the floor, we tried to retreat slowly, but the auto door locked behind us and the feline woman slowly turned towards us, she was tall and her fur was pitch black, her face had creepy yellow eyes with dark scleras and she had 4 of them! at first she seemed enraged for our intromission but as she gazed our bellies her eyes widen like a puppy, then she broke the silence:

- Oh hello...I was not expecting to find survivors in this level...especially such rotund ones! how are you both survived down here? - I don't know we just woke up!...look we don't want any trouble... - Oh I'm sorry for this rather unelegant first impression!...also I'm sorry to inform you are both are already in alot of trouble and it has nothing to do with me! - Who are you?...and where are we? - I don't know exactly, my arm band says I'm Danadriel Montresor...and we are in some sort of giant lab facility...from what I gathered they were making all sorts of experiments here and we were their guinea pigs... - Experimenting on us!? isn't this illegal? I didn't consent for any of this shit!...whos is behind it? is this some sort of government thing? - This is what I'm trying to discover by torturing the surviving employees! this place has no markings or logs of any kind, even the documents on the tables are unmarked...whoever made this place took alot of effort to keep secret. - alright...but what exactly is happening here? if we are guinea pigs and we are loose something must gone wrong in this place! - Some kind of containment breach happened around 48 hours ago...one of the black armband experiments escaped their cell and is wreaking havoc all over the facility, then I got loose and I'm now doing the same... - Black armband experiments? - Yes, you may noticed you and your friend have armbands, green means no periculosity, orange means medium periculosity, red means high periculosity, and the black armbands are for the super fucked up mutants...avoid the subjects with black armbands at all costs! they are DANGEROUS ok!? - alright...but I noticed you also have a black armband.... - oh...yeah I kinda shot myself on the foot right now...but listen I don't wanna hurt you, I'm still sound of mind...but I cant say the same for many of the others subjects...they did alot of horrible shit to people here, the corridors are full of crazies ,be careful when meeting others, also dont trust the security personel, they are shooting everyone on sight. - right...thanks for the tip, but do you know how to escape this hellhole? - I would gladly guide you both to exit if I could, but I have no idea where it is! this place is a maze of airlocks after airlocks...but I suspect we are underground, so your best bet is try to go up! - Thanks, we will try it. - I will try to meet you both again soon, but first I have a lot of security personnel to rip apart...oh yes, please take my axe, you both will need for locked doors and for extra safety! - Don't you...need it? - Nah, I recently discovered I can kill people with my bare hands!...anyway, I'm going now, good luck!

Before I could say anything Danadriel jumped over us grabbing a vent in the roof and contorting her body in unnatural ways to fit there, she was gone, but our misfortune was still in full swing, I took the axe and we continued exploring the instalation always going for stairs up, the place was full of signs of violence, bullet holes, spent cartridges and blood stains, it was like someone fought a war inside those corridors. After a while walking we found ourselves in a nicer part of the instalation, full of offices and mundane furniture, thanks to the axe we were able to break some vending machines and fill our massive hunger with potato chips and soda, not the healthiest meal but not much different from my routine, as we kept going we noticed the blood stains on the floors and walls was getting worse, we found a body of one of the security guards, he had a semi automatic shotgun and some shells on him, what upgrade! I'm no gun nut myself, but my dad was your usual gun lover redneck, and in the rare ocasions he was sober he teached me how to shoot all sorts of guns, and this experience came in handy in this situation, thanks old man!

In our quest to find an exit from that installation, we stumbled into a particularly stinky corridor, the place was covered in blood and viscera and the stench of death was unbearable, I had the impression we found ourselves in a nest, and I was right...as we turned a corner we stumbled upon 7 crazies eating and fucking mangled corpses in the floor, that was the worst case scenario, they laughed as they saw us, without wasting time they ran towards us, I pointed the shotgun and told them to stay back but they were clearly out of themselves..so I started blasting....the first one near us got a load of buckshot in his face, sending his body flying backwards, the next one I hit in the chest ending his live instantaneously, the third one got hit in the neck and his head flew away, the next 3 stood no chance, before they could even get near I shot them square in the chest, but before I could dispatch the last one the shotgun ran dry, in a rush I tried to load another shell in the chamber but the guy was already upon me! in this moment out of nowhere Sarah took the axe Danadriel gave us and split the head of the crazy who was upon me, she saved me!

I'm no stranger to killing, I became a prostitute when I was 15 and I met trouble very soon in my career, there was once a big guy who refused to pay me, so I threated to tell his wife about our encounter, he got angry and tried to choke me to death, to defend myself I broke a beer bottle and shoved it in his neck, the pig bled out to death,since that night I lost all locks that prevented me from hurting people, I had no remorse for just mowing down all those guys...but Sarah was different, she was a model wife with a picket fence life, the only violence she ever witnessed was on tv...and now she just killed a man with an axe, before she could stop and think about what was just happened I interrupted her and tried to keep control of the situation, we were able to walk few more steps but as we tried to cross the crazy nest she broke down, I can blame her , the place was like a scene from a trash horror movie terribly mangled and violated corpses everywhere.

She sat on the floor and began to cry profusely, she was holding well until now but the whole experience took a toll on her, she kept repeating she just wanted to go home and other stuff, I had no way to calm her down, I gave her some minutes, but my patience was running short, all my survival instincts were telling me to leave her behind, and I almost did...but them I remembered how many shit happend to me because people just "left me behind" because it was convenient for them...I hate my mother so much for it, and to prove myself I'm not like her I went back to Sarah, I promissed myself I would leave this place with Sarah or not leave at all!

When Sarah calmed down a little she was still without forces to continue, I sat by her side in that gore filled corridor and I asked more about her life, she told me about her 3 floor home, about her rich husband and how she used to cook something special for him everyday, her life was so perfect it sounded like something straight from a soap opera, and now she was afraid she would never see nothing of that again, then I told her about my reality, she was kinda shocked how fucked I was, and she asked what motivated me to keep going...I had no real answer for that, but them I looked at our imensely round bellies and said "we have to fight for our little ones now ", being reminded of her motherhood gave her some energy to continue, we stand up from that filthy corridor and contined our search...because that nightmare was far from over..." (Maia)

I had this idea in my mind for quite a while, finally I was able to finish it! XD

I hope this story don't give the impression I'm trying to pass some sort of "pro life" message, I'm firmly pro choice, but my characters don't need to necessarily carry the same opinions as me.

[nathaniels-diary]

I think a thing that contributes to her missing characterization is that the fandom first has to explore all of her deepths and for that they would need to discuss Petunia and Snape. And Petunia is basically an antithesis for everything the marauders fandom stands for. And Snape is hated by everyone (they have a point though). It would be so interesting to have a fanfiction discuss the impact the friendship with snape had on her. I mean he was her first friend from the magical world. Her best friend at some point.

Yes he changed and became an awful human but I deeply believe that there was a point where something good was in him and Lily saw that and thats why they stayed friends so long. Maybe she also felt like he was the only thing that reminded her of home. Petunia hated her and, at least I headcanon, that her parents died when she was younger. The imense trauma she had after her best friend calling her the most awful word in the wizarding world. The courage it took to break free from this friendship. And the guilt she felt because she left him alone. And that she never got help from any of her friends because "thats just snape, he is trash". Noone was ever thinking about what she feels, so sje also doesnt think about the stuff that she feels. And why is noone talking about the fact that she was amazing at potions, fr why does noone talk about that! (Its always just a slytherin trait to like potions but Lily was canonically so good at it. Give me young lily evans dreaminhg about creating new potions and working so hard just to have to hide as soon as she is out of school cause she is in danger) And the academic validation that she needed to prove herself. Her sister thought she was a freak and useless. She always tried to prove her wrong, gaining all kind of achievements in different subjects but never felt anything doing it.

Also give me angry lily evans, angry at james potter for being so privileged and arrogant. Lily having a grudge against james and other purebloods because they dont realize their advantage.

And Lily bounding with sirius over their siblings trauma.

And so much more. I have the feeling like fucking Barty and Evan (I love them they are my angels) have more personality than lily

Marauders Fandom

We need to talk about Lily Evans.

The amount of misogyny directed at this character is truly mind-boggling and I think many of you are completely unaware you’re doing it. There are so many rich, in-depth characterizations of the male characters in the Marauders era because we accept that they are deeply flawed people. It’s because of these flaws that we identify with them, adore them, and can relate to them. These four idiots experience damaging trauma, homophobia, discrimination, and countless character building experiences that allow them to capture your imagination. Through fanfiction, we inflict numerous situations and create relationships that challenge logic, reality, and canon. It makes them powerful figures in our minds!

Now, let’s talk about the female Marauders era characters. Dorcas and Marlene are lesbians. Marlene is a Sirius-variant. Dorcas and Mary are Black. Lily is perfect in every way. Mary is stylish and popular. This is more or less the level of depth given to these characters in nearly every fic I’ve read that includes them. What a disgusting disservice to women.

Female characters can be written with just as many flaws, experience the same challenges, and deserve the opportunity to grow into the powerful figures they could be. The one that I feel is shafted the most often is Lily mother-fucking Evans. The witch who was at the top of her class, compared in canon to Hermione as a perfectionist and know-it-all muggle-born, who grew up with Petunia as an older sister, and Severus Snape as a best friend. You’re going to look me in the eyeballs and tell me this woman wasn’t complicated? She wasn’t flawed, traumatized, and intense? We’ve taken the rich characterization potential this character offered and given it to Regulus Black. The correlations that can be made between Regulus and Lily are wild, yet anyone who writes her as anything but sunshine and rainbows is accused of villainizing her.

News flash: Your misogyny is showing. Why do you expect Lily to be perfect? Because society expects women to be perfect. Why are male characters allowed to be flawed assholes? Because society allows and accepts men as flawed assholes, encourages it even.

I find it endlessly fascinating that I can write Regulus as a snarky, intense, anxious, and a complete prick with nothing but full support from the fandom because he’s “traumatized.” If I write Lily the same way? I’m “villainizing” her or you “hate her” for thinking she knows better than everyone else. Stop treating women like dolls. We are powerful individuals with the potential to brighten or destroy your whole fucking world. Don’t make the same mistake the patriarchy has and dismiss, undermine, and overlook women.

I know Lily Jane Evans (yes, I gave her a middle name because she fucking deserves one). I wrote a 430k+ deep dive into her childhood and upbringing, as well as all 7 years at Hogwarts. I explored her friendship with Snape, her family, and her relationship with James. I’ve done my research and I built her character from the ground up. Lily Evans is an anxious, intense, introvert who made Hogwarts her home and rose to the rank of Head Girl before she left. Sound like Percy Weasley to anyone? She’s certainly a compassionate, loving, and generous person too, but let her have flaws! Let her be annoying, feel inadequate, and fuck things up! Let her live!

If you want more fanfiction focused on female characters, stop pretending they are perfect. No one wants to write about perfect people. No one wants to read about them either. Let women be flawed assholes too. We can do both. We’re flexible like that.

[cutelilshit]

Story Time

Actually this really isn't a story this is me just writing something in the hopes that out there somebody somewhere would take the time to actually read this. In advance I apologize for my improper grammar. I've never been good at writing. Well life update since I feel as if I have disappeared from some things in my life such as just happiness. This was led up by a girl in high school who had a shitty self esteem and admiteddly relied on a boyfriend to be her emotional support and everything. Daddy issues to the max to be honest, but with all that aside I think I am finally getting my shit together. It's fucking amazing. I mean of course it's not perfect I have been really neglecting on practicing and maintaining my studies, but sadly I think I will need to end some of my activities just to ensure that I get things that I need to do done. Aside from that I have been doing really well with furthering myself. This past year I searched for help with my anxiety and depression and on the way to effectively like being able to function again. First semester I hit the wall really fucking hard after being told that I had carpal tunnel in my left wrist and being a classical guitarist finally falling in love wiht everything was heart breaking. A lot of things went south that semester and I was really alone and scared. Shit honestly sucked a lot. Plus school wasn't super easy for me. Having no prior music education like in a classroom definetly kicked my ass and still does when jumping into the collegiate level of the subject. Moving onto the good shit. I'm doing things and healing myself. I admit that my family experience was not a normal one and realized that the verbal abuse still can effect you no matter the form. Hoard eating and emotional eating has assisted in my immense weight gain. Realizing that I will be unhealthy very soon to the point were I will be stricken with illness that are conjoined with such a unhealthy weight could really destroy the happiness I have found a motivation to finally create for myself. On April 13 of this past year I finally went vegan. It had been something I was planning to do for years, but never had the guts to do it. At first it was a way to kick my ass into getting healthy with working out and such but now it's something completely different. I never feel guilty about the food that I eat. I have always loved animals, but it wasn't just the guilt to the animals it was also to myself. I was feeding myself these processed, unnatural, and just the product of a corrupted system due to the greed and the high demand that nature doesn't have enough time to defeat. Now, I am happy when I eat and I just don't eat as much from this tranisiton my binge eating and just the portions I consume have decreased imensely and it isn't that I am starving myself I'm full and all the food has amazing flavor. To be honest that is one of the things that has always irritated me the people who say there isn't any flavor and that could not be further from the truth. Since I have gone vegan and being back home I have forced myself to go to the gym. I don't rue it or hope for it to be over I encourage myself to push my times and enjoy the empty space in my mind when I'm just running to music or just focusing on my breath pattern. All in all shit is going better and I can proudly say that since I believe January I have lost 25 pounds and to say that gives me the largest weight of off my shoulder. I catch myself smiling now, I can't remember the last time I did that.

[dolly-shoes]

I’m in a funk

I feel completely conflicted

My ex admitted that he still has feelings for me, but I’m currently in a relationship

I can’t say that I’m 100% happy with my current relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to give it up. I still feel like giving my ex a chance though, because I know there’s something still there.

I feel like a totally shitty person

People keep telling me that it’s not bad unless I act on those feelings, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel imense guilt

[nutterzebutters]

I already reblogged this once but imma do it again because all this was honestly my initial thought process on cups character and I just RLY gotta unload this bitch😂. I've taken notice that cup, in fact displays some symptoms of depression, extreme anxiety and emotional truama. For Ex, when the map sent them through that portal he stated that he was fearful of the others not being ok, SPECIFIC to his brother, bendy asks "oh c,Mon cups, you don't really think that do you?" And he says, with a very dead eyed expression "I do. I just hope I'm wrong"

The poor thing can be overwhelmed by the thought of worry, and funnily enough he displays easy irritation which is also a sign of trying to hide imense guilt and/or emotional exhaustion (which he is displayed to be an emotionally deep man even if it only has came to breakdowns so far)

He displays a truama trigger in even remotely seeing the power he and his brother both share, making him sweat in nervousness, most likely anxiety and becomes distressed when mugman shot at the boulders of bulk mountain.

This is probably contributing to the suicide attempt, as he is most likely very lonely on the inside and gets attached, notice how black hat said they refused to grow up when their mother or mother figure left. Mugman was pointed out to refuse to grow up, and it is most likely that Cuphead still grieves and experienced emotional truama from that as well.

He ALSO also goes to hold himself while he cries, which is a sign of feeling (as you cleverly pointed out) exposed and weak, not wanting people to see him in that state. I firmly believe that this AUs Cuphead character is worth exploring a lot more too, then again this my be an over analysis as I have intimate pleasure in looking into these sorts of things, but I think that Cuphead is secretly an unstable individual and tries to act tough, again as you said, to hide his insecurities and not look weak, henceforth the crying, and slight panics he enters. Like this guy probably needs therapy, fr ngl. But also displays happiness in a very pure form, his wholesome smiles and pink blush make it apparent that if something goes well he is put in a "safe mode" or even sometimes a "little" to help cope, which is basically his mind clicking back to act like a child or just generally something younger than he is to deal with a current situation. Most likely a behavioral instinct that mugman learned, and that is why mugman refuses to grow up as it is considered a coping mechanism, hindering the fact that cup will in fact display moments of stupidity for a 23 yr old like himself and tends to make fun of bendy for being short, again like a child. Also going back to it rubbing off on mugman could be the reason mugs gets along so well with Boris instead of being standoffish.

I've also taken notice that he deals with children pretty well, making me believe that cup has some parental instinct in there somewhere and quite possibly if asked if he wanted would answer confused, almost like a "I hadn't thought of that but now that you mention it-" moment. I would like to think he'd be a good dad, one of those dads that gets down and plays with his kids and accepts them no matter what, being a playful man and partaking in childish activities just for them, he displays those traits, it is quite possible that cup might yearn for kids even if he doesn't know it.

Tbh i wonder if it is canon, to me theres just to much for it not to be, what do you think @destinydraw127 ?

My friends: “Why the heck do you like about this so called ‘Cuphead’ from that AU you watch??”

Me: Well…I think it’s funny when he gets mad…

…but even with the cold hard outer shell he makes himself look to not look weak or vulnerable…

…on the inside he is actually really carrying and loving for the people her cares about like his little brother Mugman…

And how even when he thought he killed his brother when he shot him…almost went Suicide because of how torned to pieces he was when he blamed it on himself for almost losing his brother…

And I know he can be a bit ruff around the edges but…he REALLY is a caring loving person if you just get to know him and what he had to go through…

…so THAT’S the reason why I have a ‘sorta kinda but not really’ cartoon crush on him and it’s not because he’s a bit…handsome…

hanDSOME…

*cough* HANDSOME *cough*

But anyways this is just a sorta random vent thing I wanted to put out to put what and why ‘I KINDA BUT NOT REALLY I GUESS I DON’T KNOW cartoon crush’ on cupy…well thank you guys if y’all took time to read this and letting me vent for a minute…BYE! >^<