#that feels really weird. I'm not an adult. I'm completely clueless. I have no idea what I'm doing ever.

[running-in-the-dark]

I've just realised that when my mother dies, I'll be the oldest person in our family (as in, the people who are related to me who I'm in contact with/ever see at all). that's.... weird

[plasmasimagination]

Hello! I DONT KNOW IF UR REQUESTS R OPEN so feel free to ignore this if they're not.

This is a request for a romantic male matchup (from star rail, and genshin), coming from a female requester. Pls feel free to ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable.

Gender: Female

Heterosexual (afab)

Mbti: INTP/INFP

Pisces

My pronouns are she/her. I am an adult. My height is 5'4. I am south asian, I have collarbone length dark brown wavy hair, my eyes are the darkest brown possible. I would say I have soft facial features.I am mostly thin, but I carry a lot of weight on my thighs, something I’m love and hate at the same time.I try my best to appear alert, but many times, I often zone out and look very clueless and blank, and have no idea what is going on. I am very shy generally, and I'm kinda awkward too. I care a lot about my close friends and would do anything for them. I am very soft spoken, and can be a doormat sometimes. It takes a long time for me to get comfortable with people, so I may seem boring at the start. I also dislike making the first move, as I’m utterly clueless on how to. I’m pretty lazy too, I can sleep for 2 days at a time. I also am a bit sensitive, if someone close to me does something, I get a little worked up over it. I tend to disassociate under tense situations. I have very few friends, as I cannot handle too many. I would also consider myself to be a hopeless romantic. I often tend to become completely block out my emotions, but sometimes, I’m extremely sensitive and will cry over anything, no in between.

I would describe my dressing sense as kinda elegant, feminine and colourful, i love wearing dresses and mary jane shoes.

I love shopping, jewellery, and perfume, though I’m broke (college is hard). I get flustered, really, really easily. 

Likes: I love making miniature things like miniature houses, buildings etc. I love watching ballet, though I could never learn ballet myself. I also love going outdoors. I also like hanging out with my friends, and sweets.

Dislikes: crowds, unhygienic surroundings are a major peeve, being left out, bland food, horror movies, really scary amusement park rides, being yelled at.

Love language:

Giving: all of them but mainly words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch. I am pretty vocal about my love, and if I’m deep into the relationship, I tend to forget that there are people around who are being made uncomfortable by the pda.

Receiving: Anything is fine, as long as it reminds me that I’m loved.

I would like someone who will make the first move, and remind me that my love is reciprocated.

HAIII SWEEETIEEE ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞

*sniff sniff* yeah I know who it is

Your matchup issss......

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JING YUAN

You can be a doormat to people? Don't worry babe you're gonna be a freaking queen to Jing yuan.

With him next to you he won't allow anyone to even try to take advantage of your kindness

Don't like making the first move? Don't worry Jing yuan already asked you out, and he's very chill about it, my man's not putting any pressure on you

Also I think Jing yuan would spoil you ROTTEN.

Like money problems? He ain't heard of em

Hes also the type of person to be quite open about his love for you

So never have to worry about feeling like he doesn't love you, because at least 5 times a day he tells you how much he loves you, how proud he is of you, how amazing you are . . . You get the jist

He's also an act of service type of guy so expect a bit help with chores/tasks here and there >:)

HEIZOU

Flirty boyfriend x easily flustered girlfriend

The matchup may seem weird but trust I think it would be cute

Also Heizou would 1000% find his way into your heart, you got to do nothing!

Heizou...will show his love to you very audibly and often

From physical affection to words of affirmations to gift giving...everything

Literally all the 5 love languages are his to give you

Aside from his flirty demeanour he's also very caring, he'll always make sure you're comfortable, especially around other people

He's also aware of your emotional state and will assist you no matter if you're feeling emotional or emotionless, he's really a shoulder to cry on and someone to worry about you

[girltomboy]

Last week I started watching Yellowjackets

Since Succession is ending I will be left with nothing to watch regularly, and my bf is starting exams soon so we will not be able to hang out as much, I figured I'm going to need a replacement for my little solo evenings. I was ambivalent towards the pilot but it was entertaining regardless of my petty gripes with it so I kept watching (imagine my disappointment when I logged in the next day to see people shredding the season 2 finale). And last night I finished the first season and I just want to say so far this show blew my hair back. Like it got me staring at my screen, hand stuck in my hair, mouth hanging wide open. The plot got me thinking it was going to be some kind of 90s Survivor Euphoria with cannibalism, but it's really more like teenage Hannibal if it was Stranger Things for the kids, and Desperate Housewives in Orphan Black for the adults.

Initially I criticized it (in my head and my notes app) for not-great acting at times - I saw the post that said Juliette Lewis plays Natalie like she's constantly drunk and I can totally see it and it's kinda bugging me now - AND for playing too much music. Like, I appreciate needle drops when they have a purpose, but here I think the frequency is just excessive. I thought Nicholas Britell has turned me into a spoiled TV watcher with the Succession soundtrack, but honestly there are times in Yellowjackets when I'd just prefer silence. Anyway, those things are too minor to matter in my watching experience at this point because the show is too good so I got over them quickly.

I have a lot of thoughts about it; first of all, is it ever revealed that Callie is really Jeff's daughter? Or that she's the daughter Shauna carried and birthed in the wilderness? So far I'm just not entirely convinced. It is not lost on me that she seems to have a wonky relationship with meat, so I wonder if there's more to that or not.

Second, we still don't know if Adam was for real with Shauna or if he had any hidden intentions. Like, okay, he wasn't involved with the blackmailing, and also he's dead now and apparently his friends and family are looking for him, but that still doesn't mean he was fully honest with Shauna about who he is/what he wants, especially because she caught him lying a few times already, and his whole existence around her was excessively coincidental. By the way, the whole Jeff thing with the blackmail and stealing Shauna's stuff and everything was SO FORCED and weird like I would have preferred the cheating arc instead of this goofy stretch.

Moreover, young Taissa is shown to be skeptical of Lottie's visions and Van's faith, but adult Taissa is implied to have used the cult symbol/sacrifice for professional gain - at least that's what I gathered from it. So I assume this means her skepticism will be dropped in s2 or her sleepwalking takes a freaky turn. I already believe Lottie actually saw her eating dirt in the forest at night and it wasn't a dream or a vision, because when Taissa was bathing with Van in the lake, Van points out how dirty her nails are, and Taissa doesn't know why.

So far Van and Misty seem to have joined Lottie's little church, and at the end of the last episode, Nat's former sponsor Suzie implies Lottie is connected to the blackmail and the kidnapping, and ofc the cult. But if Van, Misty, and Lottie were first in the cult, why is adult Misty apparently clueless about it? I feel like she of all people should have a slight idea, or should be able to draw a connection, even as a theory.

I'm concerned by how little everyone seems to care that Javi straight up disappeared while he was tripping on shrooms. I did think Adam was Javi for a split second (when Shauna goes to his house the second time, the shot of his face fades into a shot of Javi at doomcoming) but apparently that is not the case, and it was a complete stretch (mainly because Javi would not be much younger than Shauna, and also they would probably recognize each other as adults) but just a lightning bolt thought I had. I think perhaps he went to his father's burial place, or maybe the lake, but after the snowfall I have very little hope of him still being alive.

Speaking of snow, I think Jackie died way too soon and too suddenly. I thought the whole Shauna's pregnancy with Jeff's baby - secret thing would drag on for at least a little bit longer. Like, it was just ridiculous, but also I assume the girls who were at the reunion (and Travis) were the only ones that made it back home? Or maybe the rest just didn't come? I know there's an adult Van from what spoilers I accidentally read from s2, but I'm curious to find out why they don't *all* stay in touch.

Anyway, I am enjoying the hell out of it, Flight of the Bumblebee was one of the best TV episodes I've seen in a while, and I'm going to start s2 today, but I've seen people complain about it so I'm not sure if it's the drama in the show or straight up the quality of the season that they were complaining about. So I'm going in with lower expectations.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Are you really happy without the conventional work? How do you deal with feeling like a failure compared to your peers? How the fuck do i adult i'm so tierd and stressed and don't know what i'm doing

I'm really sorry about how tired, stressed, and uncertain you may be feeling. <3 That's really hard stuff to feel. And I mean that with every ounce of sympathy I wish I could express better beyond this stiff text. Sending you all the love.

I am happier without doing conventional work. It might be less stable because my jobs are short-term, and the instability does make me nervous, but I feel like it has more pros than cons for my personal happiness. It will not be for everyone, though, and I would not recommend it for everyone.

I'm assuming when you ask about feeling like a failure, it's both in concern to how I feel with it, and how you might feel yourself. <3 <3 I hope that this answer ends up helping. It's the best I can try. <3

As for myself, I don't for a second believe I am a failure. I've always been a cocky bitch, and here the cockiness reigns supreme: I'm pretty awesome whether I do anything or not. When I'm exhausted and unhappy and Depression takes over (and hooboy Depression can take over like demon possession), my mind might stray to unbearable self-hate and self-deprecation, but I argue against those voices rather than let them enter my everyday language about myself. (It's a dangerous habit to ever repeatedly insult yourself; it ingrains those thoughts in you worse, it really does.)

There's nothing that makes me a failure compared to my old peers. They're pursuing jobs that society traditional deems "successful." So what? They're irrelevant to me and my life, and my life is irrelevant to them. Society's ideas of what is and isn't good has always been complete bullshit anyway... why should I care if I amount anything to what broader society feels? Broader society is stupid and I don't give a damn about it. I'm not saying this out of bitterness or rejection or something; I honestly don't care because it's irrelevant to me.

I'm here to pursue myself, pursue what I personally like. If I feel happier, if I make a milestone that's relevant to me and myself and I, then that's awesome. In many ways, if I'm different than my old peers and not following into their notion of success, then I know I'm doing right by myself. ;) It's proof of my own growth, isn't it?

The truth of the matter is, nobody is a failure for being different than someone else. Every person has a different life path. I know for many people, they are more self-conscious about how the world around them operates, how the world sees them. If the world doesn't find them successful, beautiful, etc., they feel like shit. Maybe you feel self-conscious about not meshing with society or being "as good as" other people around you. And I'm here to say: your life is your life. <3 <3 I know it can be hard to stop comparing yourself with others, but in the end, I do believe we have to understand our own innate value is permanent. Our value is there no matter what. You are beautiful. Period. There's no ifs, ands, buts, accomplishments, actions, or choices that will change the fact you are innately incredible. <3

The people whose heart meshes with yours, the people who lift you up, those are the people that matter, and those people will never believe you're a failure. Those people will see you as the diamond you are. If people judge you and are cruel to you for that, then their voices are the irrelevant ones to be discarded, because they aren't valuing you, and so they don't have good life advice or good values. There's no value listening to idiots, fools, and castigators. Now, that's not to say that good friends and acquaintances won't tell you you're doing something wrong or struggling or making a bad choice... a good friend is someone who protects you by speaking honestly and warning you if they think you're stumbling... but they aren't going to put you down as some failure, either. They're there to help you move forward with your life's journey for yourself.

We all struggle. We all stumble. We all fall. We all fuck up. We all get tired. We all don't know what we're doing. We all flail around aimlessly. We all make the wrong choice. We all look "better" to outside viewers than we see of ourselves. We see the sloppiest parts of ourselves whereas most others don't, so that's why it's easy to be the most critical with yourself and start bashing on yourself. But I guarantee that my peers, shiny as their PhDs might look, have probably had nights where they've cried into their pillows, or been frazzled, or been at bad low points, or wished they were anyone else. And I wish them the best and emotional security, but what it means is: we're all some level of fucked up anyway. Some people have worse struggles than others, and that needs to be respectfully recognized, but at the end of the day, we're all human and we all struggle and our pains are all real things we experience. The pain is real and it's valid to feel bad over it. The best we can do is give ourselves a break, stop tormenting ourselves internally over our natural inability to be perfect, and when we have the strength, to give love and support to others so they don't stumble as bad as we did.

I want to relate to you by saying... I think I was constantly clueless, confused, anxious, and apprehensive in the first half of my twenties. It sucked and I'm sorry if things suck for you.

Somehow....... I think a switch was flipped somewhere when I got more years of "adulthood" under way. The switch flipped from "I hate that I don't know what I'm doing" to "ehhh, whatever, life is life." Now, it's not to say I'm more organized. I'm not. My refrigerator has more mold than food. There's a horrible smell coming from the kitchen sink where water's been resting in a dirty pot for several days. My laundry is scattered all over the floor and I've run out of pairs of clean underwear... ran out several days ago. Don't ask what I'm wearing. I don't know the last time I've vacuumed and my place looks like a tornado zone. It took me several months to have the mental energy to schedule my first COVID shot, and I often have to cancel my banjo lessons like an unreliable buttfart because something Came Up In Life Just Now. In many ways, my life is still a chaos zone. I think I'm getting better (I've earned a ton of money in my savings account the last two years, victory!!! I'm no longer living month-to-month!!!). But I just want to say in all this.... it's okay. It's not preferable that my house is disorganized piles of crap on the floor, but I can continue to live. If we manage to wake up, get ourselves food, do hours of work, then we have achieved adulthood, and everything else is icing on the cake.

In the end, I think "stability" in adulthood is being semi-comfortable with instability. Adulthood just means handling unstable shit, and if we're novices with it, so be it. Maybe as your life goes forward, things will be less tiring and less confusing. Maybe things will be more stable. Or maybe not. Maybe the same problems will keep coming around. But I think adulthood is the ability to accept that these problems come around, and handle them, even if you aren't 100% a master at the novel circumstances.

And over time, I do believe it gets easier. <3 It takes more to rock the boat. It takes more to daunt you. The things that were initially anxiety-causing become a part of everyday affairs, and when a new novel circumstance comes up, you're more mentally prepared to try on something new. I encourage you to keep at it, my friend. I hope things feel better over time. It's okay that you aren't sure what you're doing right now. Maybe someone can help you in the present day. Maybe in the future you'll know what you're doing with tasks that previously confused you. Maybe in the future, the new weird tasks won't feel as daunting. Adulthood is weird and we don't know what we're doing, but that doesn't mean that life is going to fuck us through that.

In the end, you will still have beauty in your life. No matter what, beauty will exist in its simplest forms, and the simplest forms are the best. You don't need to achieve anything to get there. You don't need to be put together (although being put together is nice and something I want to help my friends feel <3 ). You don't need to look impressive in society. If you see a beautiful sunset, if you see a cluster of cute mushrooms, if you pet a cat or dog or animal of your choice, if you spend twenty minutes talking with your friend on voice call, if you read a good book for half an hour in the morning, if you buy yourself a tasty $4 drink to treat yourself, then your adult life is worth it, and your adult life is enough. <3