#that dorito bod
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Me at Dimitri haha 😂 aooooga sexy armor
I don’t like knights in the “glorifying a military police force as symbols of power, wealth, and tradition” way. I like knights in the “cult of chivalry and psychological fallout of raising sons to die like their fathers for a king they’ll never meet” way but also in a “swords and armor symbolic of the heaviness and impermanence of manhood” way.
#Dimitri’s feral armor OMMMF#byleth gets all that#good for them#his savior king armor on the other hand#pure hockey jersey#that dorito bod#fire emblem dimitri#feral dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd
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Feral Hunter
I wrote most of this in a reblog but thought it deserved its own post as my unwieldy response took on a life of its own, which they have a tendency to do. I’ve added more to it as well so there’s some new extra ramblings on one of my favourite ideas/headcanons/theories for season 3 of The Bad Batch.
Give me Feral Hunter. My kingdom for Feral Hunter. Completely unhinged, vengeance fueled, feral Hunter. He can go on his Joel Miller/The Mandalorian/John Wick/Liam Neeson in Taken/The Punisher arc, as a little treat.
I've been trying to figure out why I love this idea so much. I think it's because we never really see any of the Batch actually, properly unleash. Sure, they're unconventional and a bit bonkers in their approach but they're still a very well-oiled machine. When they're on a mission, they all know exactly what they're doing, what their roles are, and where their squad mates are. Even when they improvise on the fly, they all adapt fairly easily and smoothly. Everything is still all rather professional, smooth, and efficient. Like they're all operating on muscle memory, which they basically are given how many countless times I'm sure they've trained and done missions together.
Even when the Batch is fighting their way through Kamino, they still operate with that same smooth, efficient, hyper competent professionalism. Despite their unorthodox approach, there's still this sense that they're contained. Never throwing off the shackles and being completely unrestrained. The full unbridled force of their abilities and skills simmering just below the surface, waiting to be given free rein and just obliterate everything.
There's a little hint of this in the opening scene of episode 2x14 'Tipping Point', where the ARC Trooper in Echo comes out to play. But oh, how I would love to see more. From all of them, but especially Hunter.
Look at his face. Look at that expression and all those emotions from Sergeant Stoic himself, who is usually fairly reserved and contained. Dorito Bod Bandana Space Dad on the warpath to get his ad'ika back, cutting a swathe through the Imperials, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake, and taking out anything and everything that even thinks about getting in his way. Hunter goes full Space Rambo mode, ruthlessly taking out Stormtroopers, blood dripping off his vibroblade, eyes wide and deranged, as he turns into a complete animal. His half tattooed skull now completed by the blood of his enemies covering the other side of his face. For extra angst, when he finds Omega, she doesn’t recognise him. The figure standing in the smoking remains of the door to her cell looks like Hunter. Is wearing Hunter’s armour. Is holding Hunter’s vibroknife. But that’s not Hunter. That’s not her buir. Not anymore. And she’s afraid of him. We get a little hint of this at the very end of season 2 and oh ho ho, I am so ready for more. I am so ready for Hunter’s descent into vengeance, revenge and rage. Not just Hunter either, I’d love to see the rest of the Batch unleash as well.
Can you just imagine Wrecker properly unleashing? All of that strength and power finally freed as he rips limbs off Stormtroopers, snapping necks and crushing skulls with his bare hands. The crumpled, pulverised bodies of his enemies discarded behind him as he rages down corridor after corridor of whatever Imperial base they’ve infiltrated. We got a hint of how damaging Wrecker can be when his chip activated but that was chip controlled. This would just be pure Wrecker.
We see a little more of this in Crosshair's actions and you could also argue that this is chip controlled. Or if his chip has actually been removed, then Crosshair’s actions are definitely still clouded by his Imperial mindset and blind delusion that the Empire is right. Right up until it all goes horribly wrong on Barton-4 and he finally wakes up to the reality of his nightmare. Either way, that unrestrained part of him is still there. The amount of rage and anger that must be building up and festering inside Crosshair is eventually going to explode. When he snaps like he did at the end of 'The Outpost' then there isn’t going to be an Imperial left without a blaster bolt between their eyes. When Hemlock ends up dying (he better), my bet is on Crosshair taking him out and getting revenge. And it won't be pretty. He'd shoot him execution style at the very least.
I'd love to see Tech (shut up he's alive) completely lose it and finally snap off every ounce of his carefully crafted control. I've written about this before but Tech's combat is exceptionally efficient and precise. He only ever uses the minimum number of shots or moves to take out an enemy because he doesn't need to expend anything beyond what is necessary. Complete economy of form. His combat style is very contained, almost like a mirror of his personality and character. Can you just imagine him snarling and growling like a beast, teeth bared, eyes dark, face distorted in rage, as he slams a Stormtrooper's head into a control panel desk with enough force to crack their helmet and shatter their visor.
I mentioned above that we've seen a tiny bit of this slightly unhinged quality from Echo. There's another little hint of it when they're all in that training simulation on Kamino.
This gifset from @starqueensthings shows this perfectly, especially the above gif. I love the line they wrote at the top of their post as well, which I'm going to quote in part here: "I’d like to introduce my scomp arm TO YOUR JUGULAR WIRE." This perfectly encapsulates the unhinged quality lurking in Echo. He just leaps onto the back of what looks like the Kaminoan version of a B2 super battle droid and then proceeds to flail and stab madly before plunging his scomp arm into the battle droid's chest and ripping out the droid version of its jugular. Absolutely unhinged behaviour. The absolute madlad.
Now picture Echo finally snapping and doing this to a bunch of Imperials and just absolutely annihilating them. There is so much in him that is screaming to be let out. The general batshittery that comes with being an ARC Trooper. The insanity and chaos of coming from the 501st and Torrent Company. The unconventional, yeet-the-reg-manual-out-the-airlock, bonkers existence of The Bad Batch. Plus all that trauma, fury and rage of what has happened to him, what was done to him, and everything that he’s seen, experienced, endured, suffered, and survived. When the last few frayed threads holding Echo back finally snap he is going to go completely postal.
Is it healthy? No. Is it "good"? Probably not. But my god, would I love to see it.
The Clone Wars has a history of tackling and portraying difficult, multilayered and nuanced topics and we've seen that in The Bad Batch as well. More recent Star Wars series, such as Andor and The Mandalorian, have also had a real interest in showing the murky areas that exist between the good (Republic) and the bad (Imperial). There's been a particular focus on showing that there's a lot more grey than we think, rather than the pure dichotomy between cliched black and white. That sometimes there is no right or wrong decision. That sometimes everything is awful and everyone is stuck in a shitty situation from which there is no way to escape unscathed. In order to make it out alive, lines are going to be crossed. The battle of good vs evil takes on a new edge and the line between good and bad gets very murky.
That quote about how “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” comes to mind. In this instance, the Batch are still fighting tooth and nail for each other but their sacrifices and actions are starting to take them to much darker places. It’s a classic example of good people being driven to do bad, awful, terrible things when those they love are in danger and they will do whatever it takes to save them.
The whole 'deeply flawed parental figure seeking vengeance' is a popular trope at the moment as well so Feral Hunter would make sense narratively for a number of reasons.
Will we actually get it? Probably not. And even if we do, it'll probably still be a watered-down kid friendly version.
But oh, just imagine if we did.
#the bad batch#bad batch#tbb#star wars#sw#hunter#hunter tbb#feral hunter#tech#tech tbb#crosshair#crosshair tbb#wrecker#wrecker tbb#echo#echo tbb#feral hunter arc season 3#thoughts#tbb thoughts#dorito bod bandana space dad
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certain tasteless and unfashionable people need to realize that a cinched wasit on a man is meant to emphasize very different features vs. women. when women were shaping their silouette with stays they were also using padding/crinoline cages/bustles to bolster other parts of their body that gave it what we call its "feminine" shape (tits and booty). a cinched waist on a male physique is meant to draw attention to broad chest/shoulders like when you narrow the waist it immediately makes other parts of your body look bigger i mean look at this you can take a fairly slim/small guy and make him look kinda ripped with this.
#also you can argue this is the gym bod prototype before “working out” specific muscles was really a thing#but these looks also came from rec sports that gained popularity in the early 20th century#why did they make chris evans have a dorito bod as cap america?? prob this#am i making these to bully you specifically?? maybe you'll never know tho <3#costume analysis
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ITS A GREAT [business opportunity]!
#spamton#deltarune#cosme doobles#spamton is so shaped#like#hes got the dorito bod except his entire body is dorito shaped#its great#hes funny#i feel like if he punched someone his fists would make little squeaky toy noises#anyways pay spamton to give you cheap bottom surger#its great fun
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"vash has always been a twink" youre all blind and dumb
#the amount of times he has no shirt on. DO YOU SEE HIS RIPPLING BOD#YOU FOOLS???#og vash has a pretty and young face but that is literally all that makes him a 'twink'#also you cant call him a himbo AND a twink at the same time#ppl always seem to forget himbo means a good hearted dumb Big Muscled man#rattles you all#i get that he looks like a noodle 90% of the time with his coat but thats literally just due to nightow favoring dorito bods
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Snake in the Garden Pt 5~Yandere!Lucifer X Reader
Hey, guys! Welcome back to Snake in the Garden! I do apologize for my long absence. College has started back up; my depression has been kicking my butt and writing block for this chapter were just a few reasons for the delay. However, I'm back with a bang! I highly recommend reading the warnings on this chapter as it does get a bit intense. Oh, and from the bottom of my heart: thank you all so much for supporting this fanfiction! I cherish every like, reblog and read every comment posted on each chapter. I plan to have multiple parts after this one, so I hope you stay. Also, the taglist is open, so if you'd like to be added don't hesitate to comment! As always, have a great day/night and enjoy part five!
Words: 9626
Warnings: Swearing (more than usual), Non-Con Touching, Non-Con Kissing, Non-Con Sexual Advances/Harassment, Reader is forced to wear skimpy clothes, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Body Horror, Lots of Blood, Various Characters gain Trauma from Lucifer, Lucifer goes into Beast Mode, Lucifer's Obsession goes off the rails, Possessive treatment to Reader, Talk of hanging by snake, Kidnapping, Talk of watching someone die, Major Yandere Behavior from Lucifer, Reader gets Pushed Around, Reader gets put in a Cell, Degrading Name Calling-mainly to Reader, Talk of Cannibalism, Reference to Disturbing use of Body Parts, Talk of Sexual Actions, Talk of Drinking Blood, Reader Suffers Abundantly in this Chapter, Seriously who gave Lucifer a Sword
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
I gasped and my eyes widened as I stared at the two beings in my living room. The one who spoke was a larger man. He appeared to have a dad bod underneath his white, purple and gold robe. The black mask he wore had two large horns attached and his golden facial features held a smug look. Behind him stood a female. She too wore a black mask, her horns curled inwards. She appeared to be wearing a black tunic with black skin tight pants and light gray thigh high boots to match. The crude white stitched mouth scowled at me, almost acting like I was wasting her time. I gulped, both sets of eyes watching me like a hawk. “W-who are you? What do you want?”
The masked man set down his bag of Doritos (which I realized were from my cupboard) and offered a hand. “The name’s Adam, sweetheart. I’m the First Man.”
I looked down at his hand and then back at him. He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “If you’re the First Man, does that mean that Lucifer sent you to come get me?”
I stepped back in fear as he cackled, holding his stomach. “Heavens no! I hate that son of a bitch!”
I lowered my guard a bit. “If you’re not with him, why are you here?”
Adam stopped laughing and brushed his robe. “I’ve come to take you to Heaven with me.”
“But I have no business there. I’m not even dead!”
“I can grant you permission. Let’s say it's one of the perks of being a celebrity.”
He pointed his fingers at me as if they were guns and he clicked his tongue. I looked between him and his companion. She tilted her head towards her master as if to say take his hand. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Come on! Lucifer can’t touch you while you’re on Holy ground. And I have a funny feeling he’d like to get his claws on you, if you know what I’m saying.”
I cringed in disgust at what he was implying. “Besides, I can be your bodyguard! I have special privileges being famous after all. And my wingspan is bigger than Lucifers!”
I looked down at my engagement ring. The snake seemed to coil tight around my finger as the eye glimmered, daring me to trust in the Heavenly man’s words. I bit my lip and looked up at him, his female companion now by his side. The sword at her side glinted and I could picture it ramming into my fiance. I could see the light leave his eyes and blood spill down his snow white skin. The betrayal would show on his face as it had mine when he took me to Hell. I felt my lips twitch into a smile as I realized that maybe, just maybe, these two were my allies. My eyes met Adam’s and I gave a quick nod. “I’ll go with you.”
His smile curled up by his eyes. “Good choice, babe. Lute prepare the portal.”
“Yes, sir.”
The woman stepped forward and raised her sword to the sky. She began to draw a symbol that looked like a cross and chanted under her breath. “In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, let these three souls enter Heaven freely.”
As soon as she finished, gold mist began to circle the ceiling. It began to sprinkle down around us, causing me to sneeze. “Bless you.”
“Thanks.”
I looked up and was amazed to see a bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds. Sunlight streamed down and it felt warm on my skin. “It’s ready, sir.”
“C’mon, babe! Let’s blow this popsicle stand!”
“Wait!”
I brought my fingers around my ring and forced it off. Relief flooded my body as I set it on the coffee table and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was finally free. “I’m ready now.”
I let out a squeak as he hoisted me up by my waist, his hand traveling a bit low to my butt. I didn’t have much time to think about it because his golden wings opened up and pushed us upwards. The wind from the angel’s wings swept my hair and I couldn’t help but let out a gasp. Even on a bright sunny day on Earth that sky couldn’t compare to Heaven’s. The blue of the sky was a bright baby blue and the clouds were the purest of white. I reached out a hand and laughed at how light the cloud felt passing through my fingers. “Beautiful isn’t it,” Adam questioned.
“It’s better than I could have ever imagined!”
“This isn’t even the best part.”
I focused my gaze ahead of us and my eyes widened. I could see a patch of clouds with bright pastel colored buildings, almost too bright to stare at. We landed on said patch and the mist surrounding the area brushed away, bowing to the First Man. Adam set me down and I was hesitant to place my full weight down. The cloud itself was soft and yet I didn’t fall through. Casting my eyes up, I saw a golden fence stretching a long distance that I couldn’t even begin to see the end of. In the middle was a set of golden doors creating a gate, pearls and diamonds adorning the bars. I gasped as I realized these were the Pearly Gates that people claimed to see as they passed on. As soon as it clicked, a short, blonde haired man with lightly saturated clothes and white wings appeared behind a podium. He flashed a smile with his pearly whites and beckoned us over. “Hiya! Welcome to Heaven! Can I get your name please?”
“Oh, um, Y/n L/n.”
He flipped to the appropriate page in his large book and when he found it he used his index finger to skim through all the names. He muttered under his breath as he searched, his eyebrows wrinkling after a few seconds. “Um, I’m not seeing you on my list. Perhaps you’re in the wrong place-”
“She’s with me, pretty boy.”
Adam crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. “I told you not to call me that. It’s Saint Peter. Besides, she has to be on my list if she’s passed on. She’s dead, right?”
“No, but-”
“Adam, you can’t just bring living people here! It’s against the rules! Oh my goodness, what if He finds out-”
“He won’t! Now let us in, jackass!”
“I’m afraid I can’t allow that. I will not get in trouble again for your shenanigans!”
“You listen here-”
“What is going on here?”
All of us looked up to see two females flying down towards us. The one on the left was much taller than the one on the right. Both had gray dresses with purple and white accents. They landed in front of us and I could see them clearly. The one on the left appeared to be an adult woman with dark grayish brown skin. She had gray scaleras with white irises, long winged eyelashes and white freckles below her eyes. Her gray hair was long and was twisted into thick curls. A glowing white crown with blue jewels floated above her head as her black lips set in a frown. The one on the right looked like a child, her skin a lighter grayish brown tone. She too had white freckles under her blue eyes, the irises being an ombre of purple. Her light purple hair reached the hem of her dress and her black lips formed a pout. Both of their six white wings relaxed at their sides. “Sera, tell this dickhead to let us in! He has no right to keep us out here!”
“Sera, he brought in a human! One that has not yet passed on!”
The taller woman, Sera I assumed, raised her hand. “Enough. Let the girl speak on her own terms.”
Everyone turned their gaze towards me and I could feel my stomach twist in knots. My fingers fiddled with the fabric of my nightgown and I found my eyes were more interested in my bare feet. “Um, I’m Y-Y/n. I lived on Earth but Lucifer kidnapped me. He wants me to be his bride.”
I glanced back up at Sera and a shocked expression graced her features. In a second she flipped back to a more relaxed face, her black lips smiling at me. “My child, you have had quite the journey. Come.”
She moved to the side and gestured her hand towards the gate. I looked at Adam and he pushed me forward. “But, Sera-”
“It’s alright, Saint Peter. This is the one exception I will make.”
“Alright.”
He waved his hand and the gate opened, sunlight streaming through. I took a few hesitant steps forward and the four angels followed behind me. The buildings that I saw before glowed in the sunlight and the golden paved road appeared like marble. The two females stepped in front of me, calm smiles on their faces. “How rude of us to not introduce ourselves. I am Sera, the high Seraphim.”
She bowed her head as the child-like angel giggled. She bounced in front of me and was quick to take my hand, shaking it ferociously. “I’m Emily, the other Seraphim! But you can call me Emmy, Em, E, whatever. Welcome to Heaven!”
I smiled and pulled my hand away from her light grip. “Thank you. It feels so surreal being here honestly. I didn’t picture Heaven to look like this.”
“We are quite the close knit community. Everyone is friendly, polite and the nicest of the nice. We pride ourselves on being the best and most innocent of creatures,” Sera said.
“Oh you’re going to like it here, Y/n! We’ve got the most delicious food you’ll ever taste and the beds are like you’re sleeping on a cloud, they’re so soft! You can indulge in any hobby you like and we even have ice cream with rainbow sprinkles!”
I chuckled at Emily’s enthusiasm. “Sounds like fun. Where might I be staying, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“You’ll be with me, toots. I have several bedrooms in my bachelor pad.”
Adam wrapped an arm around my shoulder. His fingers played with the strap to my nightgown and I felt a pit in my stomach as he slid it down my shoulder. His black fingers caressed the skin and I couldn’t help the shiver that ran down my spine. I didn’t know what was worse: Lucifer’s gentle touch or Adam’s commanding one. “How about we get you something new to wear. Lute, take Y/n and get her some new clothes. While I enjoy seeing those pretty shins of yours Y/n, I prefer to see them just for myself.”
His fingers slightly dug into my shoulder and I gulped. Was he being possessive or was it just my imagination from being around Lucifer? Lute signaled for me to follow her and as we walked the golden road I wondered if I truly was in a better place. I thought back to Earth and how I longed to be there with S/o. I wondered if he was looking for me or if somehow the Devil made him forget all about me. I held onto the hope that he was searching everywhere, calling everyone he knew and scouring every town in our state. “Hey, pay attention! We’re here.”
“Sorry.”
I hadn’t noticed Lute had opened a wooden oak door and was pointing at it. I walked in and she shut it behind us. I looked around the room as she rummaged through a closet. The purple floor was made to look like tiled marble and the light blue walls were a pastel version of the sky. The bed itself was King size and had purple sheets and blankets to match. A white knit duvet laid over top and the whole thing looked so soft. A nightstand with a purple based lamp stood on either side of the oak headboard, a wooden oak desk stood under a stained glass window, a purple wooden dresser stood next to the door, and the purple closet was next to another wooden door. Lute walked over and threw a pile of clothes at my chest. I looked up at her and could feel the anger behind her mask. “This will be your room. Bathroom is behind that door. Change and roam around as you like. Just don’t disturb Adam or myself. We’re busy people, got it?”
I blinked in shock at her tone. Why was she so displeased with me? It was Adam’s idea to bring me here. When I didn’t answer, she grabbed me by the hair and pulled. I shrieked as searing pain tugged at my scalp. “I said, got it?”
It sounded like she was gritting her teeth. I nodded my head rapidly. “Yes, yes! I got it!”
As she let go, she pushed me and I landed on the edge of the bed. “Just because you're in Heaven doesn’t mean you’ll get Heavenly treatment. You’re only here because Adam said so. If it was my choice, you would still be rotting in Hell being Lucifer’s bitch.”
She scoffed and turned, her heeled boots clicking against the tiled floor. I sat in disbelief even as the door slammed behind Lute. Clearly she despised me. The question was why. It took me a few minutes to get over the awkward exchange, finally looking down at the pile of clothes. Lute had chosen a boring arrangement: a white tank top, a golden jacket that was just the neck, shoulders and puffy sleeves, dark purple puffy harem pants, and black gladiator sandals. While I matched Adam's color scheme, Lute made it so I didn't stand out. I sighed and walked to the other wooden door. Opening it, it did house a bathroom like she said. I stepped in and locked the door behind me. Sure, everyone is supposed to be friendly, but with the way Adam made me feel uncomfortable I was not risking my safety. The bathroom held a toilet, shower, and a white marble counter with a sink. Silently I stripped down and put on the angelic garments. I had to admit while the clothes Lucifer gave me were soft, these felt, well, heavenly. I looked at myself in the mirror above the counter. I looked so pale from receiving no sun down in Hell and my eyebags matched the purple of my pants. I sighed and turned the faucet onto cold water. The frigidness felt nice against my fingertips as I tested the temperature. Satisfied, I splashed water onto my face and rubbed it in thoroughly. I breathed in deep and looked at myself in the mirror once more. My cheeks felt a bit warm from the cool contact, but I felt a bit better nonetheless. Drying my hands on a towel hanging on a metal bar behind me, I unlocked the bathroom door and headed back into the bedroom. As I was trying to figure out where I was going to explore first, I heard two voices. Curious, I stepped to my bedroom door and opened it slowly. Nobody was in the hallway, but I could hear the muffled conversation taking place next to me. Hesitantly, I walked into the hall and to the golden door next to mine. I put my ear up close to the wood. I couldn’t tell exactly who was talking to one another, but from what I knew it sounded like Adam and Sera. “-can’t believe you would bring her here, Adam! Do you know how dangerous your actions are?!”
“Chill out, drama queen. Nothing is going to fucking happen, okay.”
“You don’t know what Lucifer is capable of.”
“The motherfucker hides during the exterminations. You really think he’d try and come up here?”
“Yes! When Lucifer desires something he won’t stop till it’s in his grasp. I fear he will make quite the grand entrance to come and retrieve his beloved.”
“Oh please. Even if he does come, I’ll have her wrapped around my finger to the point she’ll obey my every order.”
My eyebrows scrunched together. I could only assume they were talking about me. But why would Adam want me to comply with him? It’s not like I found him attractive or was even remotely interested in him. My ears caught onto light footsteps headed for the door, so I quickly rushed around a corner. I watched as Sera entered the hall, a look of disappointment gracing her features. She sighed and floated the opposite direction of me, Adam soon following after. I let my hands slip down to my sides and decided to take a walk to mull over the whole situation.
I didn’t really pay attention to where I was going, just focusing on my feet lifting up and down as I walked. It wasn’t till I heard ocean waves that made me stop. I looked to my left to see a gorgeous beach sitting in the distance. How odd.
I felt myself drawn to the calming sound of the tide seeping in and out as I made my way over. The wooden steps below my feet squeaked a bit and soon the white sand seeped around my sandals. I stopped at the water’s edge and closed my eyes. The breeze off the sea brushed against my flesh, the warmth feeling like a hug from a loved one. The smell of the salt reminded me of when S/o and I traveled a few towns over from ours to visit an aquarium. The animals were held in their natural waters behind glass panes, but the smell of rich salt permeated the air wherever you went. “Enjoying your freedom?”
My eyes shot open and I spun around. Laying on a long white beach chair was a taller woman. Her long blonde hair blew a bit in the breeze and caressed the top of the sand. She wore a dark purple sun hat with a lighter purple band, a dark purple bikini set, and purple rimmed sunglasses. Even though I couldn’t see her eyes, her aura wasn’t threatening. “W-what did you say?”
“I said enjoying your freedom, dearie?”
“Um, I guess. I mean I just got here so I wouldn’t know-”
“Come closer.”
I was taken aback by her tone. Though she was in a relaxed position, her voice was commanding, authoritative. I gulped and did as she requested. I stopped by her bare feet and could feel her eyes scanning me up and down. She hummed and her lips twitched into a small smile. “So you’re the one Lucifer is obsessed with now. I’ll admit I can see why. A pretty thing like you probably reminds him of the swans he would keep in gilded cages. While they weren’t ducks per say he found their beauty and grace appealing.”
I could feel my cheeks heat up at her compliment. “T-thank you?”
She chuckled and leaned back, soaking up the sun. “Your wedding will be the talk of Hell for quite a few months, I reckon. It’s not often that the King lends out his heart. You must be very special to him.”
“I found him as a snake. He was wounded and I patched him up. God, if only I hadn’t touched him I wouldn’t be in this mess.”
The woman scooted her feet over and patted the empty space on her chair. I sat sideways so I was able to glance at her. “So he took the form of a snake, eh? He hasn’t done that since he offered the apple to Eve. I always did find it interesting how slippery he could be, even when not in his snake form.”
“He’s so clingy. I hardly have any time to myself, he is always by my side. His claws touch me tenderly and when I look into his eyes all I can see is adoration. It’s disturbing.”
“Possessive as always. Perhaps your presence eases his depression.”
“I guess. I just don’t understand why he can’t get it through his head that I don’t want to be with him.”
“It’s called ego, darling. His pride gets the better of him. It doesn’t help that he’s the sin of it either.”
I brought my hand up to sit in my lap and found myself fidgeting with the finger my engagement ring had been on. “Apparently he’s so in love with me that he forgets he was married before. I realize his wife, Lilith I think her name was, left him seven years ago but he acts like I’m his first love.”
The woman was silent for a moment, the calm of the tide being the only sound between us. “Sounds like he’s just trying to find someone who makes him happy.”
“Yes, but at the expense of my own happiness.”
The woman opened her mouth to say something, but a familiar voice made us both look up at the wooden stairs. Emily stood waving her arm, a giant smile on her face. “Adam said you’d be out wandering so I thought I’d catch up and show you the ropes!”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Come on! I have so much stuff to show you!”
I chuckled and stood up from the chair. Just as I started to walk away, the woman’s hand clung to my wrist. Her grip was firm but gentle, making me turn back towards her. With her free hand she slid her sunglasses down her nose just enough to see her eyes. My eyes widened to see her light purple irises gleaming at me. “Please take care of him for me, Y/n. I can tell he truly loves and adores you.”
She raised my hand to her lips and left a light kiss on my knuckles. “Y/n, come on!”
The woman let me slip my hand from her grasp and as I slowly walked away she pushed her sunglasses back up. I was dazed as I reached Emily on the stairs, still reeling from what the woman had said. “Oh I’m so excited to show you everything! I think I’ll take you to the park first, ooo! Or I could take you to the zoo! We’ve got all of the animals Noah had on the Ark and more!”
I didn’t say anything as she grabbed my hand and pulled me away. Before we got too far I looked back at the woman, her hair blowing in the breeze.
I didn’t really pay much attention to what Emily was showing me or what she was saying. I was too focused on my conversation with the woman on the beach. Her eyes felt so familiar to me and yet I couldn’t place where I had seen them before. “/n? Y/n? Are you listening?”
I shook my head to see the young Seraphim looking at me concerned. “Huh?”
“I asked what you thought of the sunset. Isn’t it pretty?”
I followed her arm to see her pointing ahead of us. The clouds around us had turned pink, orange and light purple while the Sun had been cast to be a golden orange. “Yeah, it’s cool.”
“Are you okay? You seem distracted.”
“It’s nothing.”
“You can tell me anything. I’m here for you.”
Emily placed a hand on my shoulder, her thumb rubbing light circles. While the offer was tempting I didn’t know if I should tell her anything. I mean what did she know about Lucifer? Would she understand how the woman and I had connected while talking of the Devil? I looked over at her and could feel a wave of calm hit. Emily had this aura of trust and care surrounding her; her eyes sparkled and a friendly smile was placed on her black lips. I let out a sigh. “The woman I was with on the beach. Who is she?”
The angel looked puzzled, holding her chin in between her index finger and thumb. “I’m not entirely sure. She just showed up one day with Adam and Lute. I tried to talk to her but she brushed me off. Come to think of it, she only really talks to Adam. Why do you ask?”
“It’s just that she knew about Lucifer and I are to be wed soon. She also had information that isn’t known to the general public.”
“Maybe she heard it somewhere? I’ve heard Sera talk about Down Below every once in a while.”
“No, she knew too many details to have heard it in passing. Besides, she told me to take care of him, almost like she knew him personally. It was like she was giving me her blessing.”
“How mysterious.”
The two of us stood watching the sky slowly paint itself to night. It was refreshing to see something that S/o and I would watch any chance we got. “Y/n, may I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“What’s it like on Earth?”
I blinked a few times, stunned by her question. “You’ve never been?”
“No. I was created way after Lucifer fell. My only purpose is to make the winners happy and enjoy their eternal life here in Heaven. Sera doesn’t view my position as something needed in everyday human life.”
I hummed and stared at the night sky. A shooting star passed by and I smiled in wonder. “I find it to be a lovely place. The town I live in is a nice community. Everyone knows their neighbors and it was the kind of place where if someone had a barbeque, everyone in the neighborhood was invited. I live by myself in a small house. It was kind of like an apartment but with no roommates. I even have my own little garden out back. It is my pride and joy.”
“That sounds amazing. Do you have any significant others?”
“I do. His name is S/o and he’s my world. Before I was kidnapped we didn’t have much time to spend with one another due to our work schedules. But when we were together, my god those were the best times. He made me feel like the most special girl in the universe.”
I smiled upon remembering my dear boyfriend. The memories of us on dates or him telling a stupid joke that I’d laugh way too hard at flooded my head. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes and I was quick to wipe them away. I choked back a sob and tried to focus on the stars. I didn’t want to become a crying mess in front of Emily. “Hiya, toots~”
The young angel and I turned to see the First Man standing behind us, his arms crossed in front of him. “It’s getting late, babe. Hows about you and I get to bed, hm?”
I looked at Emily, who gave me a curt nod. “I suppose.”
I walked up to him, only for him to snuggle me up to his side. “Thanks for watching her, Em! Go get yourself an ice cream or some shit.”
Before I could even say goodbye, Adam was dragging me back to my bedroom. He threw open the door and lightly pushed me inside. I stumbled and turned to look at him. “Alright, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning. If you need anything, and I mean anything, give me a holler. I’m right next door. Night, babe!”
He threw up a rock symbol on his right hand before slamming the door shut. What is with angels and slamming doors?
I shook my head and went to the closet. I looked in disgust at the pajama choice: a light pink babydoll nightgown with ruffles around the chest area and hem. I searched to see if there were any other options. Unfortunately, there were none. I headed to the bathroom with my pj’s and locked the door behind me. Stripping down, I slid on the nightdress. Looking in the mirror, I cringed at how short it was. I tried to pull the hem down but it stayed around my upper thigh. Growling in frustration, I unlocked the door and headed to the bed. I flipped back the covers and climbed in. I shifted around a bit to try and get comfortable. Even though the mattress was like a cloud, I preferred my bed back home. There I could have S/o’s arms wrapped around me as we cuddled. My homemade quilt and weighted blanket would keep us warm in the Queen sized bed. I could feel the tears from earlier gather in my eyes and slide down onto the pillowcase. I wrapped my arms around my midsection and curled into a ball. I ended up crying myself to sleep.
Over the next few days I found myself next to Adam’s side nearly all the time. The only time I was separated was when I was in the bathroom or when I was sleeping. Even being in the supposed happiest place for death I found myself very uncomfortable. Adam constantly had his hands on me: playing with the straps of my tops, smacking my butt, massaging my shoulders and hips, and his fingertips “accidentally” scraping my boobs. It didn’t help that Lute would constantly glare at me and her face would be pulled into a snarl. I suppose she thought I was disobeying her order to stay away from her master.
I thought about my interactions with the two as I pulled back the covers, getting ready to go to bed. A knock on my door made me pause. It was pretty late so I was confused as to who could be there. “Come in.”
The door slowly opened to reveal Adam. I gagged at how strong his cologne was as I could smell it all the way to where I was. “Um, hey Adam. What can I do for you?”
His footsteps sounded heavy on the tiled floor and the door shutting behind him felt like a blade stabbing into my heart. He lifted his hand and my breath caught in my throat when I heard the lock. I backed up but I felt the bed behind my knees. The First Man stopped right in front of me and allowed his lips to quirk into a deep grin. His hands came up and started to slide the nightgown straps down. Disgusted, I slapped his hands away and went to shove him. As my hands pushed on him, he was quick to grab my wrists and hold them to his chest. “You look so hot, babe. I was right to pick out this pj set. You fill it out perfectly.”
“Let go of me!”
I struggled to pull my hands away but his grip didn’t falter. “Adam, let go! Y-you’re scaring me!”
“Just go with the flow, sweetie. Can’t you see this was meant to be?”
He pushed me onto the bed and before I could get up he pounced on top of me. I was about to hit him but he pinned my wrists on either side of my head. He leaned down and began to kiss my neck. His lips were sloppy and he brought his tongue to lick against my vein. “I’m going to make you forget all about that fucking Morningstar. All that you’re going to have on your mind is the original Dickmaster.”
As he brought his lips down to kiss mine, I let out a growl and threw my leg upwards. I heard him let out a cry of pain before he fell onto the floor clutching his privates. “My balls! My fucking balls! God dammit, Y/n!”
With fear guiding me, I stumbled to the door and fumbled with the lock. “Come on, come on, come on, come on!”
My fingers shook as I heard Adam rise, a groan leaving his lips. “I was going to play nice, toots. I really was. But it seems you want to play hard to get!”
I heard the lock click and I quickly threw the door open. I sprinted down the hall as I heard Adam yell after me. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I ran faster than I ever had. My escape was futile though as I slammed into a muscular body. I looked up to see Lute, her mask off to reveal a white bob and yellow eyes. I was frozen as I heard Adam huffing behind us. “Good job catching her, Lute!”
“What would you like me to do with the bitch?”
“Lock her in a cell.”
“Anything else?”
“Hit her or something for kicking my balls. That shit hurt.”
“Of course, sir.”
I cried out as Lute grabbed my hair and pulled me down the hall. I tried to pull her hand off but she just tightened her hold. With the pace we were going, the two of us ended up at a dark wooden door. Lute opened it and walked me to the middle of the dimly lit room. She opened the black metal door to the cell and threw me inside. I groaned as I felt my knee scrape against the cold cobblestone floor. I looked up at the angel who sent daggers into my soul with her gaze. “I told Adam you were trouble, but he insisted we bring you here. And after all the hospitality he showed you…you go back on his trust.”
“By hospitality do you mean perverted-” I growled out.
Lute brought her leg up and kicked my cheek. I landed harshly on my side and spit out some blood that oozed from my teeth. “Don’t speak of him like that.”
“Why? It’s not like he’s a saint!”
She growled and drove her foot into my stomach. I howled as sharp pain blossomed. “He’s better than you could ever be! I mean look at you. While he’s up here in Heaven you’re Down Below sucking Lucifer’s cock.”
Her foot hit my stomach again and I could feel bile rise in my throat. ���How does it feel to know you’ll never achieve anything? Your legacy will be known as the Devil’s little whore and that’s all you're good for.”
I gave her a smirk before I coughed. “At least I probably give better head than you.”
Her eyes widened before they returned to slits. With her teeth clenched, she brought her right fist into my mouth. I felt my bottom lip split as some blood came shooting out. “Oh, triggered are we? Is this because you have pent up sexual frustration for your leader? Is that some kind of kink you’re into: master and servant?”
“Shut the hell up!”
Grabbing my hair, she slammed my head into the stone floor with a warrior cry. My vision blurred and the room felt like it was spinning. With her hand still tangled in my locks, Lute brought my head up and down several times to meet the floor. My cheekbone felt like it was on fire and I figured the bone was probably shattered with the force of me hitting the ground. “Think you’re tough shit, huh? I can tell you’re just a scared little girl. You were never meant for Heaven, even if you weren’t branded as Lucifer’s slut.”
I could feel my anger boiling. How dare she call me such vile names. “You think I chose this life? Hell no! I was fine being on Earth with my boyfriend!”
“Yeah right. You probably summoned that dirty retch. Why’d you do it? Did you want fame? Money? The glory of saying you fucked the King of Hell?”
“I didn’t do any of that shit! If I had it my way I would have never helped that stupid snake in my garden! Then maybe I wouldn’t be forced to be a bride against my will! Or better yet, then maybe I wouldn’t have met you or your motherfucking boss!”
She yelled in fury and brought her foot up to meet my chest. I landed on my back and the air left my lungs. I heaved in oxygen as she kept kicking me. I swear I heard ribs cracking under pressure. Lute didn’t stop there. She slammed her gray heeled boot onto my fingers and I couldn’t help but let out a scream. “That’s it! Scream, little girl! Pray that your hellish Daddy comes to save you!”
“S-shut up!”
I felt whiplash as her foot dug into my cheek, blood spilling down my bruised lips. “You know what we consider people like you? Fallen. Maybe I should cut your wings like we do all the others?”
“N-no!”
She roughly turned me over so that my back was facing her. I attempted to stand when I heard the sound of fabric ripping and cool air hitting my back. Lute however stomped me into the ground, her heel digging into my flesh. I heard her sword being unsheathed and saw its angelic light bounce off the cell wall. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean anything I said! Lute, p-please!”
She let out a cruel laugh and I yelped at her heel digging in further. “You’re pathetic, you know that? If you were half the woman that Adam claimed you to be, you wouldn’t go back on your word. Some advice for you, sweetie. If you say a threat, really mean it.”
I screamed as her sword pierced into the left side of my back. There had to be some kind of special angelic powers attached because this hurt way worse than when I would accidentally slice my finger while cooking. Lute reveled in my cries as she dragged the blade around forming some shape. Tears fell rapidly from my eyes as I slammed my fist down into the cold floor, trying to focus on something other than the pain radiating in my back. I was relieved when I felt the weapon retract, but the relief was short lived. A blood curdling shriek ripped through my throat as the sword entered the right side and began drawing a similar shape to its predecessor. Lute seemed to take her time, enjoying my wails bouncing off the walls. She harshly pulled the sword out and resheathed it. “While I would love to carry on my tradition of licking the blood of my enemies off my blade, I don’t want to taint my Holy body with your sin.”
“W-what did you d-do,” I stuttered under my breath.
I could sense a smirk gracing her features as she rounded in front of me. Reaching under my armpits, she hoisted me up and threw me against the wall. I cried out as the rough stone dug into my newly acquired wounds. “I just cut the wings off the fallen, dare I say, angel. Oh who am I kidding? You’re no angel. You’re not even as worthy as the dirt beneath my feet.”
“F-fuck you.”
I grit my teeth as she harshly gripped my chin, forcing me to look into her eyes. “What did I say about empty threats, sweetie? Or do I need to remind you?”
I shook my head as a dangerous smile overtook her face. “No, I think you need the reminder.”
Her hand moved to my throat and she made sure to drag my back up the wall as she let me hang. I weakly kicked my legs as I tried to get her to release me. I could feel my body shutting down as Lute squeezed. I was pretty sure I’d have bruises where her fingers lay. My hands started to slide off of hers as my vision began to get a black haze around the edges. “What is going on here?”
Lute let go of me in her haste and my butt collided hard with the ground. I couldn’t see who had entered as I heaved in deep breaths. “Miss Emily, what are you doing up? It’s late. You should get to bed. Here, let me escort you.”
“What were you doing, Lute?”
“Oh, um, I was taking care of a prisoner.”
I could see a familiar head peek around my attacker’s body, a gasp leaving the young Seraphim’s lips. “Oh my goodness! Y/n!”
Emily rushed past and cradled me in her arms, her hand gently rubbing my bruised cheek. “What have you done?! Y/n didn’t do anything to you!”
“On the contrary Miss Emily, Y/n here has committed a major sin. She rejected the orders of the First Man and I was told to punish her in any way I saw fit.”
“I rejected him because he wanted sex. You left that part out,” I hissed, my throat raw from screaming.
Lute bit her lip and I could see she was dying to cuss me out. “I could forgive Adam’s behavior up until now, but this, this is unforgivable! I need to talk to Sera about this. Violence isn’t the answer and neither is attacking innocent people!”
I could see a shadow cast over the white haired angel’s face and her hand reached for her sword. “There’s no need to discuss this with Sera.”
My eyes widened as her sword was unsheathed next to her side. Emily must have sensed something was off as well because her arms trembled around me. “Lute, w-what are you doing? Put your sword away n-now!”
“I can’t risk you running and tattling to Sera. Who knows what she’ll do to us. Adam and I belong here in Heaven! We’re doing good in God’s name! We will not be cast Down Below!”
She raised the blade and brought it down quickly towards Emily’s head. She screamed and with a newly found inner strength I forced myself up. I let out a warrior cry as I brought my arm up to protect my face, the sharp weapon making contact with my left shoulder. I heard fabric ripping and a glass shattering shriek from the young Seraphim. Glancing down I saw my arm was missing, it lying discarded on the dungeon floor. I let out a shaky gasp and stumbled into the wall. “Y/N!”
I went to go to Emily’s side but Lute stabbed her sword into my right shoulder, effectively pinning me to the wall. I screeched and realized there was nothing I could do. I helplessly watched as the evil angel went for the younger girl’s throat. However, a punch to her face made her drop Emily. She grunted as her head smacked the wall next to me and her body slid down to the floor. I looked towards our savior and felt the color drain from my face. There stood Lucifer, six red and white wings displayed behind him. His eyes were completely red as tall, curvy, red horns grew from his forehead. A flame hovered between them and the snake that usually rested on his hat was now wrapped around the tip of his horns. From this distance it looked like his sharp teeth had grown longer, his canines more prevalent. Lute grunted as she sat up holding her cheek, golden blood trickling from a cut. “You BASTARD! You can’t hurt an angel on Holy ground!”
“The rules don’t apply to FUCKING SCUM LIKE YOU! How DARE you lay your filthy hands on MY BRIDE!”
He rushed forwards and sent a hard punch to her gut. Lute let out a cry of pain before Lucifer grabbed her by the feathers around her throat. Her muscular legs kicked violently, her white gloved hands digging into black hands. I could hear the crunch of her neck bones breaking, golden blood flying out her mouth onto the Devil’s claws. “I can think of so many ways I can torture you with. What should I start with first, hm? I could pluck those white and black feathers from your wings and have them decorate a cape for my darling; Or I could have my snakes bite you all over your body as you screamed and writhed in agony. Oh yes, their venom would enter your bloodstream and there would be nothing you could do as it slowly overtook you, boiling your insides to ash; Or I could break each bone in your body beginning with your fingers and leaving your neck. After everything was broken and you felt that pain, I could slowly saw off each limb, starting with the tops of your fingers and going down each joint. I think I would like that! And after every vein, tendon, muscle and bone was cut off your body I could give them to Cannibal Town to feed the residents as a treat from their King. Just before you died, I could cut out your tongue, eyes and ears and give them to Alastor. I don’t know what the Radio Demon would do with them, but I know he’d find a way to make them useful. And as you would crash from blood loss, I would place your head on a spike outside my palace. It would be a reminder to not mess with me or my fucking bride! Oh, I’d have fun torturing your soul as surely Heaven wouldn’t want you as my hellish hands corrupted your purity!”
Lute bared her teeth and her legs started to slow down to a small wiggle. I watched on in horror as he threw her at the wall on the opposite side of the room. As he stomped towards her, Emily ran to my side. She took off the shawl around her shoulders and wrapped it around my left shoulder. She pulled it tight to try and staunch the bleeding. I hissed as the pressure sent shooting pain to my remaining nerves. Lucifer’s black tail flicked up and down, acting like a scorpion's. My pupils shrunk as I watched him wrap his fist around one of Lute’s wings. She scratched at him as he tugged, a scream ripping from her throat. “That! Is for even bringing my dear apple up here!”
He gripped her other wing and tugged, more bloodied feathers in his fist. “That! Is for throwing her around!”
He went back and forth ripping more and more feathers from each wing, a pile growing behind Lucifer as he called out something harmful Lute had done to me. “Get off me, you motherfucker!”
The Devil brought up one of his feet, slamming the heel of his black leather boot into her eye socket. I shrieked as he kept at it, more golden blood dripping down as her face was slowly being caved in. I couldn’t watch this any longer.
“LUCIFER, STOP!”
His foot was in midair as it froze. He looked over his shoulder at me. I scrunched my eyebrows together and let pleas slip past my bruised lips and raw throat.
“PLEASE, STOP! Just stop! You’ve done enough damage!”
He scowled and brought his foot down, turning to face me completely. White irises surfaced on top of his red scaleras, softening as they stared at me. “Y/n, she could have killed you! By God, your arm has been lobbed off! Why do you plead mercy for a disgusting soul like hers? She and Adam should suffer for what they have done to you!”
“It’s not worth it! Killing her won’t rewind time or heal me. Just, just let her be.”
He sighed and looked down at Lute’s crumpled body. I could hear her labored breathing so I knew she was still alive, just in a fatal condition. He walked over and crouched before me. Those white eyes of his were filled with rage and determination, but not directed towards me. He brought his hands up to my cheeks, tenderly rubbing them with his thumbs. “Okay. But I need to remove this weapon from your shoulder. I’m not going to lie, this’ll hurt like hell. Emily, stabilize her.”
“O-of course.”
The young girl moved her hands from my missing arm to underneath my armpits and Lucifer grabbed the hilt of the sword. “I apologize for the pain this’ll bring, my dear. I’ll go as fast as I can without the risk of damaging your nerves.”
I nodded and with that he pulled. I cried out in pure agony. Emily hushed me in an effort to make me feel better but all I could focus on was the pain. When the sword was fully out of my shoulder, Lucifer patted the top of my head and gave it a gentle kiss. He stood and turned back towards Lute, who had pushed herself up so she was in a sitting position. With the sword by his side, my fiance slowly stalked forward until he stopped in front of the fallen angel. I couldn’t see her due to Lucifer’s wings spread out but maybe he had done that on purpose. “You should thank my dear apple. She has shown you mercy in a time when she shouldn’t be so kind. But her kindness is one of the reasons I fell for her.”
I felt a sudden tension in my body. He had agreed to not do anything so why did I feel so uneasy? Suddenly he thrust forward and from the feminine scream that bounced off the walls I could tell he had stabbed her. “But on the other hand, I’m not so merciful. I am the King of Hell after all. What is it that you angels say about me? That I’m a rotten, purely evil, husk of a man who should have choked on his own apple while a snake hung me from a tree in the Garden of Eden? Well let me live up to my title. Let me show you how rotten and purely evil I can be!”
“Lucifer, no,” I cried.
He pulled the sword out of wherever he had stabbed it and lifted it above his head. He brought it down with a yell of fury and I screamed as golden blood sprayed everywhere. I squirmed as some of it had splattered across the room onto Emily and I. It was warm and sticky against my legs and face. I wondered if Lute was even alive after that blow. “You. Sick. Fuck! You’re a monster, you know that?!”
I was shocked to hear the female sidekick, even if her voice was shaky. “I don’t care! I don’t care what others think of me! The only one I need is Y/n! She’s MY darling! MY little apple! MY light! And no one, not even the fucker up here who calls himself Father, CAN TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!”
My eyes widened and I couldn’t tell if it was Emily or I who was trembling the hardest.
He was crazy.
Absolutely batshit insane.
I finally realized how deep his obsession for me ran.
He cackled like a lunatic, throwing his head back. His whole body shook with how hard he was laughing. He brought the angelic weapon up again and swung down-
"LUCIFER!”
All of us froze. There in the doorway stood Sera, a multitude of eyes surrounding her gray curls. Her fists were balled at her sides as she walked in. “What is the meaning of this?!”
Lucifer didn’t even look at her, too focused on his prey in front of him. “I’m acting in self defense. Aren’t I, Emily?”
Sera looked at the two of us and Emily squeaked. “Is this true, Emily?”
“I-I-I-”
“Be truthful, my child. I don’t want you scorned for siding with the embodiment of evil.”
“...He saved us, Sera! Lute, she, she, she was going to kill me! If Mister Morningstar hadn’t stepped in both Y/n and I would be dead!”
The High Seraphim was taken aback, her eyes fading from her hair. “What?”
“Hey, what’s with all the commotion? Some people are trying to sleep-”
My gaze saw Adam walk in behind Sera, his mouth allowing a yawn to pass. The pit in my stomach grew as I feared how he would react when he saw the state of his right hand woman. Sure enough his eyes landed on her and his body tensed. “Holy shit…Lute.”
His hands balled up next to his sides and his eyebrows scrunched over the top of the golden eyes on his mask. “You, motherfucker! You, son of a bitch! You could have killed her-”
A screech ripped my throat as Lucifer whipped around and sliced through Adam’s arm. It flopped to the floor and a chorus of fear filled the air. The First Man was quick to grab his open wound, liquid gold coating his fingers. “What the fuck. What the fuck! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU CUT OFF MY ARM, YOU ASSHOLE!”
With Lucifer turned I could see the fire burning in his eyes. He was scaring even Sera, her taking a step back. “What is it they say? An eye for an eye? Well in this case it’s an arm for an arm.”
“YOU, DICKBAG! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”
“Why don’t you ask your little whore when she wakes up? I’m sure she’d love to tell you in great detail while she’s in between your thighs sucking you off about what happened.”
Adam growled and released his shoulder, his bloodied hand pointing at Emily and I. His index finger started to glow with a bright white light and I feared he’d shoot me. With the threat in the air, Lucifer brought the tip of the sword to the masked man’s throat. He pushed it in, not enough to draw blood but enough to make the consequence known. “Don’t. Even. Think. About. It. You’re lucky that my dearest told me not to kill anybody. Because believe me, my limit has been passed and I’m hanging by a fucking thread.”
Adam gulped and the blade moved with the bob of his adams apple. I could see fear in the egotistical man’s eyes and even his stance had changed to try and protect himself. “Say, how about I cut off the other hand to join its partner on the floor? I could make them into a pair of cup holders for my beloved and I to use as we sip your thick rich blood from bejeweled goblets.”
“W-why would you want to do that? My blood doesn’t even taste that good!”
“Let’s see, I could name a million reasons. But the first one that comes to mind is to punish you for assaulting my fiance! Did you really think I wouldn’t know about you constantly putting your wretched paws all over her?”
“L-look, you stole two of my wives. I was only returning the favor!”
Lucifer grit his teeth and I swear with how hard he pushed them together they would shatter. The glare that he sent towards Adam was lethal as his eyes turned completely red once more. His black knuckles turned white with how hard he gripped the hilt of the sword. “Those two were just to show how superior I am to you. Y/n is different. She is my true love! She’ll remain by my side for the rest of her eternal life and together we will rule Hell as King and Queen! And if you think you can take that away I’ll cause my own extermination! Any and all winners will be subject to my wrath! They will be slaughtered one by one and their souls forced to burn beneath my hooved feet! I’ll torture every last one of them as I send them to each ring of Hell, the Cardinal Sins and Overlords free to do whatever the fuck they want! UNDERSTOOD?!”
The sword was pushed a bit further into Adam’s neck, a light trail of blood sliding down from the small gash. The tension was so thick that the weapon in Lucifer’s hands wouldn’t be able to cut through it. “Y-you got it, man! Just don’t hurt me!”
The Devil chuckled and pulled away. “Oh, Adam. So above it all until your whole existence is threatened. Then you turn into a pussy and cower away.”
Throwing the sword into Lute’s left wing with a huff, he used his now open hands to conjure a red misty portal. When Lucifer turned to face Emily and I his white irises had returned to his red eyes and a soft smile reached his lips. He walked over, his bloodied boots clicking against the cobblestone. Slowly, as if to not scare me further, he crouched in front of us. His arms reached for me and as he got close Emily hugged me tight to her frame. Tears ran down my cheeks and wet their previously dry tracks. I shook my head and curled my legs into my torso, trying to get as far away from my fiance. “Please don’t hurt her, Mister Morningstar!”
His face dropped and he shook his head side to side. “You honestly think that I’d hurt my darling? I’m hurt, Emily.”
He reached for me again and before the young girl could put up a fight, he wrapped his arms around me. Standing up, he hoisted me bridal style and brought our foreheads together. He closed his eyes and nuzzled me close. A purr rumbled in his throat and he opened his eyes. That frightening look of adoration had returned, his pupils almost looking like little hearts. He gave my forehead a kiss and then turned towards the other angels. “Goodbye, cunts. Hopefully we never see you again.”
His presence commanded the room as he walked us towards the portal, the familiar dark red sky of Hell peeking through. “Let’s go home, my dearest Y/n. We deserve some alone time together.”
A sob wracked my body as he flew forward, the portal closing immediately behind us.
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TAGLIST (I'm sorry if it tagged you twice!)
@ladymothbeth @cosmic-spider @l0vedoe @stormz369 @strawberry-gothic @repostingmyfavs @purplechan9 @caniseethefourthsword @rl800 @froggybich @txpchhhhhhh @stayinguplate @theonlykawaiigod-blog @vash-yuu @musicb33nsstuff @zennylz @rosieposie005 @weirdgirlislonely @noxianwarmason @luksusowejachty234567 @nicky190i @flutistbyday2020 @insanepurplegrapes @rin22 @b-connie @yepperoniro @halparkebitch @sapphireravensworld @purplerose291 @the-hufflebird-girl @virgoelf-blog @dakota-rain666 @maddiemouse-1226 @acrazyartist @beaststorm @venusdandy @star-trekker-0013 @lazyexcuse @fanshipper4ever @joylovejoy20 @alientee @frogcoven99 @ungirleygirl-blog @white-00-7 @writerandstudent @sporadicpostkoala @greensunflowerjuna @yandere-kou @thenumber1mc @killer-nightmare0 @hyperfixations-keep-me-going @the-ninja-girl-in-blue @elisa-christopher @imwallysdarling @lora-is-bored @yzzaqczec @rae-iin @agentspudnut @usususjhsussu @jaynina4d
#yandere#xreader#yandere x reader#x reader#yanderexreader#villain x reader#lucifer hazbin#hazbin hotel#yandere hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#yandere lucifer morningstar x reader#yandere lucifer morningstar#yandere lucifer x reader#yandere lucifer magne#yandere lucifer#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer x reader#lucifer#lucifer magne x reader#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#yandere hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel lute#hazbin hotel sera#hazbin hotel emily
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i do not know who birdsrightsactivist is sorry. but im bird!
hi bird!
birdsrightsactivist is a silly twitter account of someone pretending to be a bird. or a european robin (I think, that was the bird in the icon) actually learned how to use twitter. one of the two. this account created some timeless memes, like
I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?
and
maybe i should paint some of your babby and hide them around see how you like it / happy ester. i have hidden ur human childs.
and
i been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it.
and
why birds decide to go from being big dinosaucers to small puf u ask??? to. fit. inside. doritos. bag.
^ I can confirm that one personally as the caretaker of a parrot that keeps going for the doritos even though we say "no" because, well, not good for bird.
anyways, hello bird!
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Chasing that dorito bod
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i see yalls dorito shaped davrins and i love every single one of them but Personally i am a firm believer in dad bod davrin thank you for listening
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Dad bod Logan - yee or nay?
((Walks up to the microphone with a pile of flashcards. I straighten my cards and adjust my shirt collar before tapping the microphone and leaning in:
Yes.
You look at this 19th century Alberta-born bastard-son redneck-noble subsisting off beer, cigarettes, potatoes, syrup, pancakes, wild game and jerky - and Marvel has the audacity to give him a six-pack? That in our modern day of processed and manufactured foods that he wouldn't even be slightly affected??
(At best I can see a three-pack still visible in that image, ayyyyyy)
Marvel, you look at this caked-up manlet and tell me there is less than 10% body fat on his entire person?
You're telling me, with the bone density of ada-fucking-mantium, that this Calgary Stampede Shortstack has no additional bulk on his muscle from powerlifting his own skeleton every time he walks? That there are no stores of body fat habituated by his body to prepare for the metric ton of bodily harm he'll have to repair in the matter of a week? Not a single lovehandle or cellulite to be seen?
The only "shredded" I will accept as an adjective for Wolverine is a descriptor of his victims or his clothes (an oxymoron, but I digress).
Like, what is this...?
You're going to fight a bear built like THAT???
You're gonna have that dorito-chest snapped at that pencil waist after he bats away those noodle-ass arms.
And then on the other end...
PFFFFFTHAHAHA! What??? He could get his head knocked off like a teed-up golf ball that fell on a barbershop floor...
The artists I respect the most when they are drawing Wolverine are those that remember that this is a 5'3" frontier man from 1800s Canada who has to deal with the fact that everyone after the 1930s is taller than him.
This man has the complex to be the toughest and biggest guy in the room, even when he's always the shortest. He talks big, eats big, fights big as his show of that Wolverine scrappiness.
So to reiterate: yes, Wolverine has a dad bod - because I'm not a coward.))
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Today brings us Vil and Idia!
… Come to think of it, surely we must get all the characters in this art style (and not just the dorm leaders) to celebrate such a big occasion, no?
new art for merch?
They’re really hyping up this release for some reason 🤔 so maybe it’ll be an extensive line of new merch featuring this art??
It seems to feature the TWST boys in the more classic Disney traditional animation art style. The clothes are suits with sashes and crystalline sleeves, which look like something a Disney prince would wear (just with less color).
So far only two examples have been released (Riddle and Leona, pictured below). We will see more designs in the days in come!
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst merch#twisted wonderland merch#Vil Schoenheit#Idia Shroud#disney twisted wonderland#notes from the writing raven#okay these two look alright#although I still find Vil’s smile somewhat unnerving#also his makeup is not as apparent#bruh since when did Idia have that Dorito Bod though#maybe Eliza was onto smth there#lmao Riddle may have been a bad first impression of this art style for the TWST boys
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GREGORY: Well! That was incredibly draining.
ESTELLA: Oh don’t you even start, young man!
ESTELLA: You barely did a thing!
GREGORY: Oh I HELPED!!!
ESTELLA: When I ASKED!!!
ESTELLA: You were more concerned with playing Papa’s Cupcakeria!
GREGORY: That game is really fun, okay?!
ESTELLA: Whatever, what shall we do now?
GREGORY: …Play Papa’s Cupcakeria together?
ESTELLA: No thank you.
ESTELLA: I do not mean to offend, but If I hear that game’s soundtrack one more time I will throw that computer.
GREGORY: Hmmm…
GREGORY: I know!
GREGORY: We could play Kiss, Marry, Kill!
ESTELLA: GREGORY!!!
ESTELLA: NO!!!! ESTELLA: That game is lewd, violent, and inappropriate!
ESTELLA: Who would we even be kissing, marrying, and killing in these scenarios???
GREGORY: Why, the humans, of course!
ESTELLA: Absolutely not.
GREGORY: Awww! Pleeeease??
ESTELLA: Gregory. Bellarose.
GREGORY: Pretty please?
ESTELLA: Gregory. Wolfgang. Bellarose.
GREGORY: What if I said pretty please with a cherry on top covered in a banana sundae?
ESTELLA: …
ESTELLA: I do like banana sundaes…
GREGORY: Wonderful!!!
GREGORY: Starting off strongly, Craig.
GREGORY: Can we agree to kill this one?
ESTELLA: As a pacifist, I firmly believe others do not deserve death…
ESTELLA: ….
ESTEALLA: However
ESTELLA: He has gone through great lengths to ensure your internet extravaganza is as unenjoyable as possible, so I agree.
ESTELLA: Put the boy in the Pear Wiggler.
GREGORY: I did not expect that, being honest…
ESTELLA: No.
ESTELLA: Kill this one too.
GREGORY: Estella! I am surprised at you!
ESTELLA: I had to be in. That INCELS body. For three. Hours.
ESTELLA: I could not bathe.
ESTELLA: The body was constantly SHITTING itself.
ESTELLA: And he smelt of doritos and body odor.
ESTELLA: I think my choice is justified.
GREGORY: Okay queen, that was actually really slay of you! Go off!
GREGORY: I think his little ex is more tolerable, though!
ESTELLA: I hate to be mean, but he was right to break up with him.
GREGORY: Exactly! Those nasty ass hands…
ESTELLA: Please don't remind me…
ESTELLA: Now, I wouldn't marry Tolkien, but a smooch wouldn't hurt anyone.
GREGORY: For what he did to Clyde I'd get down on my knees and start throwing rings at him.
ESTELLA: I thought you liked that Stanley boy?
GREGORY: Mmmm…
GREGORY: Reconsidering my options….
ESTELLA: Oh dear, why so?
GREGORY: HE WON’T SMOOCH ME!!!!
ESTELLA: That is his loss then! You are a wonderful boy, Gregory. You deserve better.
GREGORY: Estella you don't get it.
GREGORY: Dad bods and pathetic men are my weakness.
ESTELLA: Gregory…. Raise your standards for your own sake…
GREGORY: If my standards went any higher, I'd be single for life.
ESTELLA: Fair enough, I suppose…
GREGORY: WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME!!!???
ESTELLA: He may not like men, dear….
GREGORY: HOMOPHOBIA!!! HE IS HOMOPHOBIC!!!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO KISS ME AND THAT MAKES HIM A HOMOPHOBE!!!!
ESTELLA: I suppose I'm killing this one too…
GREGORY: I'm forcing him into marriage. He. Will. Kiss. Me.
ESTELLA: Gregory, calm down.
ESTELLA: You're here, I need you here.
GREGORY: Sorry… sorry…
GREGORY: Oh Dear look at that one…
GREGORY: Green is NOT his color…
ESTELLA: Don't be rude! You can not bully him!
GREGORY: What? It's not bullying! It's an astute observation! He's a ginger! Gingers don't look good in lime green! It's constructive criticism!!!
GREGORY: Oughh… I think I'm going to have to kill him…
ESTELLA: GREGORY!!!
ESTELLA: (Sigh)
ESTELLA: I for one, think he's a nice boy, and will give him a little smooch, as a treat.
GREGORY: Erm… which one's this again?
ESTELLA: Oh I'm afraid I don't know.
GREGORY: Is he new or something?
ESTELLA; Oh no no no! I think he's the blue haired Fellow!
ESTELLA: TrollyHomme was his name, right?
GREGORY: Hell-
ESTELLA: Language
GREGORY: -If I know
ESTELLA: Hmmmm….
GREGORY: Kill?
ESTELLA: Kill?
GREGORY: Kill.
ESTELLA: Mhm.
GREGORY: Hmmm, I'm not sure about this one?
GREGORY: I think this will be the first one I kiss.
GREGORY: That country accent weakens me.
ESTELLA: What accent he speaks in mumbles.
GREGORY: You can hear it sometimes!!!
ESTELLA: No you cannot.
GREGORY: How can you not?? It's so obvious!
ESTELLA: I have no comment on this one. He smells of metal, which concerns me.
GREGORY: Why? He could just be a mechanic?
ESTELLA: Or a murdering robot.
GREGORY: Oh please! They haven't been active in centuries, we'll live.
(edits made by @pissblanket)
#craig tucker#craigfluencer#hellpark#south park#south park edits#sp#southpark#underworld park#underworld park tweek#underworld park clyde#underworld park kyle#underworld park damien#underworld park gregory#underworld park estella#underworld park craig#underworld park cartman#underworld park tolkien#underworld park kenny#gregory cutie pie vrs craig the real tucker#team gregory cutie pie 3rd
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Goo noight/very early mornin to ya gunburr
I'm plotting rn, could you airstrike Elias body hcs pretty please :3
Good very early morning my dear. this question is like crack to me of course *stretches arms and grabs white board marker* okay :D
If you look at his shapely figure (already getting insufferable lol) you can see he’s kinda built like Hesh in the sense that they’re built like Doritos, broad shoulders and their torsos get more narrow (like father like son ofc),
Muscular chest/shoulders but with enough fat layered overtop, like not chiseled but there’s definition to his abdomen/pecs. He’s got a lil stomach too, like in a dad bod ish way. Kinda like this⤵️but more triangle shaped/muscular (I cannot find a better picture lol Stranger Things man will suffice)
Thick thighs too, overall pretty defined all over for a 51 year old, kinda beefy but in an athletic way (bro had to be in shape). His neck seems to be rather thick too lmao
Medium on the body hair scale, some of it probably on the greyer side like the hair on his head hehe.
Bro probably has big feet, he’s 6’2 according to his fandom wiki so he’s like Bigfoot in my head.
Wrinkly face cause he’s an old man, but he has sharp features (nose/chin/his hairline? lol).
Here’s a good pic of him methinks
Anyways that’s what I’ve come up with ≧◡≦
#he’s so yummy#and pretty#kept this SFW somehow#old man elias ily#call of duty ghosts#elias walker call of duty#elias walker
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mortal kombat 11 johnny or mortal kombat 1?
Definitely MK11 Johnny. That version was the sweet spot for me, lol. Dad bod (dorito shaped), older (has something to do with myself being older I'm sure dfghjkl like hey, they ain't 12 nor do they look it!!!), a bit more character compared to his MK1 variant, but that's a personal opinion ofc. I'm glad they kept his nose, I'd been so disappointed if they had changed it. For me, it felt like he was his own person without relying on another to make him stand out. It was just really nice to finally see my fav have his time. So yeah I was super excited and probably filled the tags up here on tumblr but not many were like they do with 1.
Yeah, I'm still gonna cling to every version, but I'm more *meh* with 1 because I wasn't expecting the fandom to erupt over him and granted, I was excited that more people were getting into Johnny Cage, but... I was also get kinda saddened that a good portion have reduced his character down to just shipping so I kinda just don't feel the need to interact all that much like I did in 11. No, I'm not saying anything bad towards shipping or shippers in general before someone without any reading comprehension comes for me.
Even though I'm not a shipper, I prefer Sonya x Johnny in MK11 and I kinda miss them as a pair. Maybe in the next installment it'll be a thing -- without something happening (≖︿≖✿) the ladies in MK seem to always get the shit treatment that's for sure and the fandom kinda contributes to that with the toxicity they spew out.
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... I haven't done a sensory overload fic yet
From my Star Wars/ Bad Batch Headcannon List...
Every so often, I go through my Headcannon notebook for all my fandoms and my original works.
(Which begs the question...can you have headcanons for worlds and characters that you create yourself?....down the rabbit hole I go!!)
And, I remember one that I wrote for Hunter based on the image below.
Hunter likes to be put into a bacta tank to help deal with his sensory overload or whenever he's experiencing overstimulation.
The sensory deprivation really helps to relax him and steady his senses.
The longest he's ever been under, about an hour, shortest, about 20 minutes. Sometimes sleeping in one is the best rest he'll get in a week.
In or out of a tank, he still dreams, and his brothers are always there before he goes under and right when he comes out. 🩵
Fanfic writers, go and have fun with this idea if you wish.
Image by: @bbqfish
#gotta change that#also i love these hcs and that art#could stare at it for way too long#mmm#the bad batch#bad batch#tbb#hunter#tbb hunter#hunter tbb#hunter bad batch#hunter the bad batch#bacta tank#dorito bod bandana space dad#omg that last tag needs to be a regular thing
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Not only are their faces kinda weird, but a lot of these characters have INSANE proportions. I’m talking built like Doritos massive shoulders teeny waists
Not Dorito bods😭 but that’s so true! It’s that and the 8 packs😭 and even if they do try to include more body types, it just ends up looking wonky😞
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