#that doesnt really scream 'i love u and im happy to survive so i can continue to utterly adore u'

[barrenstars]

he's more lively than she imagined he would be considering he almost died not too long ago. granted, the hospital wouldn't have discharged him if he wasn't able to walk around and whatnot himself... still, she didn't expect this kind of reaction!

he reaches for her arm and emma is only now registering how quickly he got up from the bed. by the time she has time to react, he's already pulling her up to her feet. " what the hell kind of reaction is that!? "

especially since she came all this way with gifts! he certainly didn't seem happy to see her and she'd be damned if she let it show that it moderately upset her.

" get back in bed, idiot! you're supposed to be resting. i'm not leaving. " yanking her arm back, emma proves her point further by kicking her shoes off and even climbing up onto his bed, sitting in the middle of it.

" if you want to fight over it then we can. in your condition i think i could win, and how embarrassing would that be for you? "

“What?”

Finishing up his set of arm curls, Draken glances towards his bedroom door, expecting to see any one of the working girls come in and request his with reaching something or a faulty electrical; the general handiwork usually required of him.

But no, instead, he sees the very last person he ever expected to see here ( on account he’d even made Mikey swear never to tell Emma his exact address ) this was…no place he wanted her to see, and no place she should be at in the middle of the night!

“Emma!” The bottle blond jumps onto his feet, clearly not impressed by her presence inside his room.

“Wha–Why–How the Hell did you get here?” Unaffected by the saccharin smile she flashes in attempt to appease him, the ‘bag of treats’ is completely ignored in favour of reaching her arm, with every intention of dragging her back home, where she should be. 

“Come on, you’re not staying here, get up.”

[erizee]

.

[sodasback]

Let Go - Part 3

Reposting from my deleted acct.

Warnings: physical violence

That night you got a text from JJ’s number.

JJ: Hey Y/N, it’s Pope. I stole JJ’s phone and he’s trying to kill me over it right now. 

JJ: Anyway, he hasn’t stopped talking about you. Just thought you should know.

JJ: Don’t let him hide you from us. 

JJ: Kay gotta go, can’t breathe, bye

You laughed out loud at Pope’s texts and swooned over the fact that JJ was talking about you to his friends and that the Pogues, or Pope at least, seemed like he wanted to hangout with you.Then more texts came through. 

JJ: Sry pope doesnt kno wut hes talking about. ignore him. 

JJ: i cant let ur head get any bigger knowing tht im simping for u over here. I’ll have to put u in ur place again.😉

Y/N: Is that place on my knees in front of you?

JJ: ugh stop. ur gonna make me hard and wer on the boat

Y/N: Hey you started it

JJ: Yeah well I’ll finish it too when i see u tmrw pretty girl

Y/N: You better 😈

JJ: ur killin me smalls 🍆

You went to sleep that night blissfully happy. But you woke up full of dread knowing you had to breakup with Rafe. 

You texted him telling him that you needed to see him and talk. He seemed to know something was up, but he told you to meet him at your favorite park in Figure 8. 

Before you left to meet him, you texted JJ that you were meeting Rafe. And then you shared your location with him. You had a feeling JJ would end up being close by, but you frowned when he didn’t text back and thought maybe you should call him. No, it’ll be fine. Rafe doesn’t need to know what happened. I’ll just end it and it’ll be fine.

 You pulled up to the park and saw Rafe....

You had worn a hoodie, because it was the only thing you had that would really cover all the hickeys, that you also tried, pretty unsuccessfully, to cover with make-up.

“Hey beautiful” he greeted you softly from his spot seated at a bench and kissed your cheek as you sat down next to him. You were ashamed of yourself that you still felt a warm fuzzy feeling despite the fact that Rafe didn’t you treat you right and JJ already showed you more affection in such a short time.

“Hey doll” you greeted back out of habit.

You and Rafe were both quiet for a minute, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. You and Rafe enjoyed the scenery and the nearby fountain in silence.

“It’s over huh?” He asked solemnly, still looking off in the distance at first and then to you.

“Yeah” You admitted with a sigh before continuing, “I think we’re just growing apart and maybe we’re not the best for one another.” You said slowly.

You hated yourself for saying it that way, for not calling Rafe out on everything. And you hated yourself for not being 100% truthful that you cheated. But a part of you still loved him and a bigger part of you was just trying to survive this without a screaming match or something worse.

Rafe nodded and offered a small smile.

“I’ll always love you though. You know that right?” He said, squeezing your hand gently.

You melted a little. Rafe really could be the boyfriend you needed ...sometimes.

“Me too” is all you said with a gentle smile.

Rafe sighed and stood up. He opened his arms out for a hug. You stepped in and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

That wasn’t so bad you thought as you breathed in his cologne one last time and savored being in his arms for a second.

You felt Rafe shift a little and playing with the hood of your sweatshirt.

“Why’re you wearing a hoodie?” He asked, with genuine intrigue in his voice. You felt your heart stop and you tried to stop yourself from sweating more than you already were. You swallowed hard and then cleared your throat, trying to act casual.

“Just was a little chilly earlier.” You stated simply, pulling away from Rafe. Who looked at you skeptically. 

“It’s July. It’s hot as fuck out. There’s no way you’re cold.” He said tugging at the hem of the jacket. You pushed his hands away. 

“Rafe stop. I wanna keep it on. I’m cold.” You said, trying to squirm away from him. He firmly grabbed hold of both your wrists and pulled you towards him a little, motivating you to look up at his now deeply disbelieving expression. The furrow in his brow, made you nervous and you bit the inside of your cheek. You could see the gears turning in his head as he registered your very guilty and scared demeanor you couldn’t hide.

“Why’re you wearing a jacket, Y/N?” He asked in a sternly dangerous tone that gave you goosebumps. Your breathing started getting heavy. 

“Rafe” You warned nervously. 

His jaw became clenched. And he forcefully ripped the hemline of your pullover upward and wrenched your arm out one of the sleeves. 

“Rafe! Stop!” You yelled at him as you tried to squirm away but he manhandled you and harshly tugged your hoodie the rest of the way off and threw it on the ground, leaving you in your sports bra, completely exposing the hickeys on your neck and chest. You quickly tried to cover yourself and reach down for your hoodie at the same time, but Rafe grabbed your forearms again, hard enough to leave bruises. 

Fuck. Where’s JJ when you need him?

Rafe looked you up and down before tightening his grip on your arms. “You little fucking whore.” He swore through gritted teeth. 

“Rafe you’re hurting me.” You said with a whiny tone you couldn’t hold back.

“You’re just cold, huh? I can’t believe you fucked another guy, you cheating slut!” He spat as he throttled you.

“Rafe calm down.” You said, trying not to cry. God, JJ, please come. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re sorry?! You’re sorry?!” Rafe laughed darkly, before moving a hand to your throat, but not fully squeezing yet. “You cheat on me and all you can say is you’re sorry?!” 

“Rafe! Please!” You begged, tears now welling up in your eyes. 

“Who’d you let fuck you, Y/N? Hmm? Who marked you up knowing you were mine?”

“Rafe, please let go!” You cried. 

“Tell me who it was, Y/N!” He growled at you in a way that made your blood run cold and he started to squeeze your throat. You clawed at his hand and his arm as he cut off your airway. 

“Cameron!” JJ yelled as he ran over to you. Rafe was caught off guard and let go of your throat. You collapsed to the ground gasping for air. JJ immediately was at your side. 

“Y/N! Are you okay? Go to your car, now.” JJ told you. But you stayed in your position, mostly out of necessity, given the fact you couldn’t breathe. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” Rafe said. “You cheated on me with this fucking piece of shit pogue?!” He asked you, as JJ stood up and faced him. 

“Leave. Now.” JJ told Rafe.

Rafe snorted, “Or what?” He challenged, stepping towards JJ.

Right then, police sirens went off. All 3 of you turned to see a Kildare County Sheriff SUV and Shoupe step out.

“Is there a problem gentleman?” Shoupe asked them walking towards the 3 of you.

Rafe and JJ were glaring at each other. You took the opportunity to put your hoodie back on.

Finally, Rafe said, “No problem here officer.” As he didn’t take his eyes off JJ, daring him to rat him out.

“Looks like you’re on the wrong side of town, Mr. Maybank. Everything okay Miss Y/L/N?” Shoupe asked.

“Yeah, JJ came to take me home. Rafe was just leaving.” You said.

By now, Shoupe had taken notice of the red mark on your neck and the fact you were on the ground with a defensive JJ in between you and Rafe. It was very obvious what had been going on.

“Mr. Cameron, I think you should head on home now.” Shoupe said. And you internally rolled your eyes. Of course, Shoupe would let Rafe just leave.

Rafe just glared at JJ.

“Rafe.” Shoupe said more firmly.

“I’ll see you soon Y/N, Maybank.” He promised in a dangerous tone before turning toward his car.

JJ watched him leave with his fists clenched. Once Rafe was driving away, JJ took a deep breath and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you need to see a doctor?” Shoupe asked.

“No, I’m fine.” You said from JJ’s arms.

“Alright. You 2 take care, now.” Shoupe said as both an apology and a warning getting back in his car.

Now, it was just you and JJ. He was still holding you tight. “Are you okay?” He asked softly, glancing down at you. You nodded but kept your head tight to his chest squeezing his waist and cried a little. 

You only let yourself cry for a second and then sucked it up and when you sniffled, JJ held you back a little so he could look at you. He checked your expression and waited for you to nod as he slowly and gently pulled the collar of your hoodie down a little so he could see your neck.

A pained grimace appeared on JJ’s face and anyone looking at him could have probably seen his heart break in front of them as he looked at your injury.

You might have JUST admitted feelings for each other yesterday, but you couldn’t explain it. You and JJ felt right. It was young summer love, a whirlwind romance where you both fell hard and fast. And the fact that he was partly at fault for the huge hematoma forming on your neck, the fact Rafe quite literally could have killed you made JJ feel like crumbling.

“I’m gonna kill him.” JJ said to himself more than you. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Y/N.” 

“JJ. This is not your fault. Okay? Rafe is the one who had his hand around my neck not you.” You said with your hands holding his face. 

“But I-”

“No! Stop! I’m telling you this isn’t your fault. And I’m fine. See? I’m in one piece.”

JJ almost had tears spilling out. 

“I promise.” You reassured him. He closed his eyes and nodded. 

“So you taking me out on a date or what, Maybank?” You asked, desperately just wanting to see JJ’s face free of anguish again. He smiled a little and sniffled. 

“Yeah, I’m taking you out. Give me your keys.” He said smiling.

“Uh uh” You tsked, “You think I’m gonna let you drive my Porsche? I’ve seen you take a turn in John B’s van on 2 wheels. I’m not letting you behind the wheel of my baby.” 

“Fine” JJ pouted. But then he snatched the keys from your hand and mimicked the shocked look on your face and taunted you. 

“JJ!” You shouted reaching for the keys, but he held them out of reach from you. 

“Ooh sucks to be short, huh Y/N?” He said as he stumbled to your car still holding you back from the keys. 

“JJ.” You said seriously. “Give. Me. My. Keys.” He just looked at you waiting for you to threaten something as he stood next to the driver’s door. “Give me my keys or I’m not sucking your dick for a month.” You threatened. 

“Pfft” JJ scoffed, “Like you could go a month without begging for my cock down your throat? Bet” He said, nodding his chin up at you. You contemplated it and you knew he was probably right. You furrowed your brow. 

“I swear to god, if you crash my car, I will kill you Maybank.” You said as you walked to the passenger’s. 

“Whoo!” JJ cheered before awkwardly crawling into your front seat. “Jesus, your seat’s so close to the wheel!” He complained throwing the seat back and fixing all the mirrors. 

“JJ! You are fucking up all my stuff!” You yelled at him and punched him in the arm. He ignored you and revved the engine. 

“Ooofff” JJ groaned, “this is making me so horny. Can we have sex later?” 

You glared at him. 

“You’re eating me out for at least an hour for stealing my car.” You folded your arms and looked out the front windshield. JJ leaned over and pecked your cheek. 

“My pleasure baby.” he said, throwing your car in drive and screeching the tires. 

“JJ!”

Taglist: @moniamaybank @hernameisnoell @moonrisebeach @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @railmerafe

[creacherkeeper]

How is the cowboi doing? :) I’d love to hear about some of their recent adventures.

OH WELL IT'S ME + ALSO MY DICE HATE(/love) ME SO YOU KNOW THEYRE GETTING WHUMPED CONSTANTLY LMAO

there have certainly been some Events Unfolding so those are under the cut, casey since youre in our campaign now NO PEEKING

fair warning this is .... long ..... you have asked me to talk about my dnd character and you simply CANNOT stop the floodwaters now. enter at your own risk

okay so basically the first arc of the campaign kind of kicked off with them getting a vision from their goddess (the grain goddess/goddess of agriculture) saying that she was trapped in a fey gate and that they needed to come rescue her

so erley immediately Rallied The Posse and set off to do that. they NUMEROUS times tried to pray to her, commune with her, basically just get ANY sort of communication or guidance from her, but the dice like to tell their story so i literally never got above an 11 (paladin with only +2 to religion my beloved) and they never heard from her, which was making them. pretty nervous. when it seemed like everyone else was able to talk to their gods just fine

well we eventually figured out that there was a huge gathering of fey in the woods (me: this might be too big for us to fight. what if its like 30 fey? / my dm, glancing at his notes where he has 2000 fey written down: (: ) and basically the fey like. had captured and were trying to kill what was left of the pantheon so they could bring back gaia as the One True God

we found all this out because it turned out several members of the party had been lying about how much they knew of the fey and had personal connections to the fey they'd kept hidden. and erley, who is ALSO HIDING A LOT from the party like. immediately went on the offense and was just generally very unhappy about this

there had been this fey merchant who kept popping up wherever we were trying to sell us magic weapons that seemed tied to us specifically. erley was always VERY suspicious of her and did everything in their power to stop the others from buying her weapons (which we literally had to buy with -5 to a skill point, not money, v sus) to mixed results. but basically when we got to the fey gathering (we called it gaiapalooza) erley rolled a 1 on their survival check to get through the magic field and like. got teleported to her. and they really wanted information from her so they basically were like LEORA I DONT KNOW WHO TO TRUST I THINK MY PARTY HAS BEEN LYING TO ME, CAN YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THEM CAN YOU SEE US WHEN YOURE NOT THERE? and basically pretended to need a therapy session in order to milk her for information lmao. she also seemed like. REALLY interested in erley and i was also very nervous about that

and i was RIGHT to be suspicious of her because we found out she WAS ACTUALLY THE BIG BAD and we had to fight her in the arc finale. and several of our party members had rl stuff and were not there, and in game our druid was away casting an 8 hour long spell to try and stop the palooza ceremony, so our party was SUPER nerfed and also as soon as erley realized it WAS actually leora who was behind all of it and she WAS trying to hurt them with those weapons (the weapons were tethers to the gods to be able to kill them basically), they got .... a little angry

and my party found out after irl a year of playing these characters that erley's first level is barbarian :))

so erley raged and did frankly a staggering amount of damage in this fight, and also only stayed up because of rage because they took a LOT of hits. but also. they dont rage FOR A REASON so it sort of took them over and when leora dropped, one of the other pcs ran over to stabilize her as she was making death saves and erley :) maybe :) drove a spear through her heart and killed her :)

and her body immediately just like. overgrew with plants and vines and flowers and basically wrapped the spear in a bed of plants and it was very cinematic and cool

(we have since found out that leora was like. actually an aspect of gaia so. that is. interesting)

of course then erley popped out of rage and was like FUCK this is why i dont do this, i went too far, it always goes too far, THIS is why im ashamed of this, and just got very emo boi about it. so they used their last spell slot to cast restoration on the space they had fought in and reached out to their goddess, having just saved her and the rest of the pantheon like she had asked them to

and i rolled a nat 1!!!

(the dm was like "you have committed this violent act, you feel so low and so bad and in need of guidance, and reach out to your goddess. and the absolute lack of a response just makes you feel empty inside" and i was like :) oh :) okay cool :) you love to see that with your paladins huh)

at this point the druid came back in and, instead of erley like. examining any of their own shit immediately lashed out at her and was like "why did you lie to me about the fey, why did you lie about why you were here, why ARE you here because i realize now it wasnt to help me"

and at that point ONE OF THE FEY QUEENS WALKED IN and the druid was like "... mother ..." and we were all :O

so it turns out the fey queen is her birth mom but had like? kidnapped one of the children of her firbolg tribe and was holding her hostage and the druid was on a quest to find her and bring her back

so erley :) felt :) even more bad about that :) and very shamedly pledged their help to her, and basically was like "as long as youre on this noble quest i will follow you if you'll have me"

so we're on our second arc now, which is traveling across the country to go meet the fey queen and get this kid back. as we were traveling my dm had me roll religion and a luck check and i got a 21 ON RELIGION FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER and a 6 luck. and he was like "you dont usually dream, but you have a nightmare. you know this nightmare was given to you, it was divinely inspired, but you dont know who sent it" and it was just erley killing leora over and over and over again. so they were like. well fuck

(my dm also messaged me privately and we talked and he was like. yeah you can get rid of your oath of devotion and change it to oath of the ancients, i am not telling you or erley why the subclass has changed and you also might get nerfed later. also level up barbarian for the next fight)

so erley was. feeling PRETTY DANG BAD and very guilty and stressed and all that. they did also realize their barbarian side was getting stronger which, considering their backstory is all tragic barbarian shit they were NOT happy about. i was fully prepared to have them be more ostracized from the party and go into full angst mode, but then the druid actually like. pulled them aside and explained why she had hidden information from them, and had a very sweet conversation with them and held their hand and it was VERY touching (she also had the baller line "you think your goddess can hear you and she's not answering. but maybe you're talking in a whisper and she needs to hear you scream")

we had another fight (we're level 7 and my dm told us after it was a cr 32 fight like. dude??? what the fuck?????) and once again erley didnt go down only because of rage

THEY ALSO UNINTENTIONALLY CAST MISTY STEP (which is an ancients spell they didnt have before) and were like WELL NO TIME TO UNPACK WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT NOW, HAVE TO NOT DIE

after the battle was over i asked to roll a check to figure out why i had access to that spell and got :) yeah you guessed it :) another nat 1 :) so erley has literally no idea how they cast that or what it could mean. we just had a new pc introduced who is a sorcerer so erley is definitely going to talk to her and see if she knows anything. because they are FULLY IN THE DARK about their subclass change or what that means in game

we're also (because of the fucking cr 32 fight) going to be leveling up again soon, and babey you KNOW im leveling barbarian. after rage kept me up and then rolling another nat 1 religion check, and also me the player not knowing whats up with their goddess/magic, i simply cant level paladin rn. so im BETWEEN A FEW SUBCLASS OPTIONS and ive been thinking them over but i think it really depends how the next few games go

my FULL ANGST option was to make them level into zealot barbarian like their awful dad, but i thought that made the least sense in universe rn

secondary angst option is to level into berserker, which i think fits pretty closely with how i've been roleplaying the rage so far. trading off an extra attack for a level of exhaustion fits pretty closely. also whump central

the NICE option is to have them be a totem warrior barbarian, and have both their paladin steed and their totem be a bull :) (they are a cowboi after all) i think thats the closest i can marry their two classes and potentially have some healthy growth for them, let them see that the rage doesnt HAVE to be a bad thing, that being a barbarian isnt something they HAVE to be ashamed of. reskinning the bear totem would give them resistance to all damage but psychic while raging, and im planning on taking the tough feat, so theyd pretty much be ... an unstoppable tank. plus i can still divine smite while in rage so theyd be VERY powerful

and now youre all caught up on my very special boi :))))) bet you didnt expect quite that much of an infodump but. listen. listen im simply obsessed with dnd i cannot help it. any chance to talk about my characters i WILL TAKE IN A HEARTBEAT (thank u for prompting my ramble lmao)

[astralshipper]

15x06 liveblog post have fun kids, it’s a long one! 

sam looks so tired but also what the fuck was that thing??????>?>?><>:>? is the bunker haunted god dammit not again

IS DEAN WEARING HOT DOG PANTS I CANT BREATHE SIR PLEASE STOP. BITCH PUT UR DAMN LEG DOWN U ABSOLUTE BUFFOON

ASCASCASCASCAS I MISSED U. oh my god clarence he kept the name clarence i cant fucking..,,.,, pls.  domestic cas

OH MY GOD RUNNING SAM BITCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHAT THE HELL WHY YOU SO CUTE~~ OH SHIT HI EILEEN OH FUCK!! hoNEY IVE MISSED U. alright dean can u NOT be a lazy bitch for two seconds

cas honey. br o th h her r.,,,,. ,.,  guys wanna hug brotherrer..,.,,.,.,, ssosofttt..,.,,, brothiehrrhr....,,,, 

sam learned sign language again i fuckin love u bitch. me with my sign language and him with his we kick ass boom!! eileen maam i love u i wish u could go to heaven u deserve so much better..,,.,,, yes this ep is gonna be rough bc canon love interest but also sam is happy so we gonna power through this because i love elieen and i REALLY love sam and all i rlly need is sam happy so lets just. act like this is okay

yeah u fight cassie! god i love my bro.... cas sir wanna hug u. gosh im feelin bro love tonight... dean u be GOOD MOTHERFUCKER. dean stop being a DICK LEAVE CAS ALONE YOU FUCKED HIM OVER STOP ACTING LIKE HE OWES YOU. MY GOD I LOVE YOUD EAN BUT HOLY SHIT

AWW EILEEN GO TADAAA THAT WAS SO CUTE MAAM!!! 

oh shit we’re going down the bring eileen back line oh shit okay more than one episode update i am afraid ouch this hurts alright astra chill the fuck out hes not yours oof alright just

YEAH ALRIGHT CAS LETS FOCUS ON CAS IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! STARTED FROM THE I CANT SOLVE A CASE WITHOUT SAM AND DEAN TO HERE

oh FUCK YEAH HOW ABOUT WE DONT KILL SAM YALL SHITS. sign language sam is still baby but alSO HEY FUCK OFF BITCH IMMA KILL U!!!!! IMMA FUCKIN UHHHHH KICK UR ASS GET AWAY FROM THE MOOSE MAN okay but really i uhhh am gonna have a rough time if we’re doing the bring back eileen thing.... esp bc i LOVE eileen but also,,, sam,,,, canon love interest,..,, it’s bad enough with season 8 and amelia and no one even shipped him and amelia, but now hes got a kickass hunter girl and im gonna uhhhhh yeet myself out

oh SHIT i forgot he screams and they hurt him and im not ready for that shit

cascascascas!!! i love cas!

no talking? bitch who doesnt want sam to talk?? his voice is amazing why WOULDNT you let him talk,,, sam sees a weakness he latches on nice boy is not nice boy, nice boy is surviving

CAN YALL LEAVE SAM ALONE!!!! ALRIGHT MF I HA T E THESE PPL PLEASE LEAVE HIM A L O N E 

yo cas is ANGRY BOY. i love u but angery boye not necessary... although the sentiment is a big hell yeah, keep authority figures in CHECK!!!  but also?? since when can an angel blade kill a djinn? you kill a djinn with a silver knife in lamb’s blood. just because its cas doing the stabbing shouldn’t mean anything, he should have to smite it for his species to matter. why have we been worrying about getting the right weapons if we can just use angel blades?

MY GOD I LOVE U EILEEN THAT SMILE WAS SO CUTE OMFGAHEDIFLH sam omfG THAT WAS. AHEM. OKAY THAT WAS A BIT HOT IM NOT GONNA LIE. HELL YEAH YOU LEARNED FROM THE BEST!!!  literally like sam: kills someone me: oh youre gonna be hot huh? youre gonna be incredibly fuckin hot huh? youre gonna be the most attractive person ever huh? youre gonna just sit there and be an attractive man without caring about my feelings???

EILEEN EILEEN EILEEN OH MY GOD GUYS IM FUCKING CRYING WHAT THE SHIT HAPPY SAMMY HAPPY SAMMY HAPPY SAMMY IM SO PROUD OF YOU BABY CUTE SOFT HUG YES 

good ep. good tear times. dean stop being a little bitch and be nice to cas and help your brother. are we ever bringing jack back?? i feel like jack is supposed to have smthn to do with the end,,, hes awake in the empty, you cant just DO that. billie was there and everything. surely theres something thats gonna happen from there. jack should be able to get himself out of the empty if he got cas out. i justmiss jack to be honest. also i miss belphegor but that’s besides the point theres no hope for my demon boy

[askmyboys]

David J Vinson

Name: David J Vinson | Gender: Male | Species/Race: Alien | Occupation: Doctor/Surgeon | Age: uuuhhhhh??? | Height: 4'6" (thats disguised as a human, in his real form he's a good 10ft or taller) | Hair Color: Lime Green (his hair is usually kept up in a man bun/ponytail however sometimes he'll just let it f l o w) | Eye Color: Also Lime Green (thats his MOST favorite color shh) | Appearance: He usually wears his normal doctor/surgeon attire, he works... a L O T- like holy shit this fucker seems to absolutely l o v e his job! However when he's not working, he usually wears turtlenecks or hoodies, he loves their soft comfyness, it feels good to him... He doesn't like revealing too much of his body anyways, bc he d o e s technically have a belt he wears that was designed specifically to disguise him, he can't let people see that! So long sleeved clothes n pants for him a l w a y s. He has a circle beard (so original lmao), and surprisingly enough a few scars, hmm wonder what caused them... Oh well. Now, his actual form- since he's an alien ya know- like its not that complex tbh im too lazy for that, but it doesnt mean he isnt any less dangerous, his form is... well, his entire being just looks like he's made out of some form of slime n jello, something of that sort, he's all goopy n drippy with lime green slime! He d o e s have normal limbs in this form, like normal legs n arms but their just slime in a way- but he usually has tendrils extending from his back all the while (gotta be intimidating!) he also has sharp teeth and Electric Blue eyes in this form. | Personality: Now... He isn't REALLY cruel or malicious, its just... he needs humans brains to survive, its his food source (he can't eat any human foods or it makes him deathly sick, he doesn't need to drink anything, it'd probs have the same affect on him anyways) but tbh, even if he c o u l d eat human food, I still say he'd go for the brains, its in his nature and tbh at this point its just all he knows, he is actually quite friendly! And always encourages people and tries to keep them from panicking when he's performing an operation, he never lets them feel any pain of course, he makes sure to give them the anesthesia always before performing any kind of surgery (usually the "surgery" is legit just getting their brains which... does kill them but hey! at least they feel no pain! so thats uh, a plus) He might be very happy, outgoing, and friendly but that doesn't mean he can't become irritated and angry at some people, its usually when a human comes by and keeps asking him certain questions, or if their getting suspicious (which also scares him), orrr if they start fighting him and hurt him, that just upsets him (tl;dr: outgoing, friendly as can be, p happy, he isn't cruel or malicious, he doesn't w a n t to cause any harm to a person, so anesthesia all the way- which if they didnt have that sorta thing he... he actually doesnt know what he'd do, he doesn't like to hear the screaming and crying, but he's just... He's just gotta get food in order to survive, thats just how it is) | Side Facts: Aside from him having to p much do... all that bad stuff, he's not TOO upset about it! Unless they start screaming or crying before he can get them under anesthesia, then he's just... really bummed n upset, BUT aside from that, he actually does like Earth... Its a nice pleasant place for the m o s t part anyways, he absolutely LOVES animals, he never seen them on his home world, they didn't have these creatures humans called "puppies" "kittens", etc- but he absolutely loves them- he could NEVER take any animal brains, hell even with humans he does try to single out the bad ones but sometimes, it just... can't be helped, he's gotta have food! But he'd absolutely refuse to take an animal (or an- ahem, offspring's brain for that matter), children don't deserve that kind of thing, anesthesia or not, the offspring hasn't even got a c h a n c e to live their life yet! He isn't cruel... He'll give them that chance. Now... He will get irritated with too many questions asked, he doesn't have time for the typical human questions, he has things to do! He also gets scared and nervous if their starting to get suspicious of him for, well, virtually anything... He CANNOT let himself be found out otherwise he fears the worst, even despite being a doctor n such, he does actually fear them or scientists mostly, he doesn't want to be opened up and put on display for the humans, that's just no good! So he does technically have a fear he just hides it so he can get by in life and keep existing for... well, however long he has left. Oh- and he does love to observe various animals, he's almost c o n s t a n t l y taking notes on them or drawing them/stuff about them.

[parkaiur]

(Un)popular Opinions ep 9!

wowowoow so like... this whole thing was a R O L L E R C O A S T E R and like ten times worse cuz im so emotionally fragile after all of this is over djfhjkhfggj

this turned into “what i liked abt each performance” instead of unpopular opinions BUT i still added some throughout so :^) 

OK LETS GET INTO IT :D 

so honesty hour~ i was scared when Seunghun was joining treasure 5... NOT that i think hes untalented in any way shape or form, but he’s the oldest and it seemed like the group would be seunghun + the kids LMAO 

BUT I WAS SURPRISED (not rly) that he fit so well into Going Crazy ??? Like i was so shook that seunghun could sing any song and totally slay it ,, like wowowow he keeps surpassing my expectations

i screamed when he appeared on stage

BOOMERANG PERF ! : ) 

ok ok okokokok for those who dont know... jihoon .... is my bias and this performance i have been dreading looking forward to the entire week

i know YG edited it and made it seem like Boomerang was too powerful and strong for dohwan and yeongue, but honestly, out of all the groups, i think boomerang was most suited for this team ,,, 

like yeongue??? singing daehwi’s parts?? i didnt know i needed that til now... their voices are so similiar (like tone and style) and their dancing was similar as well !! 

 all of them were so good? like dohwan is an amazing dancer + vocalist and yoshinori..... really.... wearing that... rapping like that.... sgjdfghsfdjgh

plus,,, where are those ppl who were calling jihoon untalented?? BOY WAS LITERALLY THE MAIN VOCAL IN THE PERFORMANCE U HOES

anyways, choi hyunsuk......... he is an amazing leader wowow like when he was leading the boys in the rehearsal and shouting at them while they were literally on stage kdfjdhskd  that was a side of him we hadnt seen before

and the fact that he choreographed the dance breaks ?!?!? like he couldve asked jihoon to help him, but the fact that he carried that on his own is AMAZING ... they truly had the hardest dance to learn and when they made it themselves,, it made everything 10x cooler 

GROWL TEAM !

well ,,, this was depressing cuz i knew only one of them would survive ... 

tbh my pick wouldnt have been junghwan, it wouldve been jongseob, but i agree that junghwan did very well !! like he has lots of stage experience and knows what to do on stage ,,,, i mean jongseob too but idk man he is underrated : / 

anyways , DUMB AND DUMBER PERFORMANCE !

ok like from that teaser... we all knew they were going to win ... it was just expected with confetti guns and backup dancers 3 members of team a +mashi and yoonbin,, all very talented boys and mashi has been training for a long time as well 

in my opinion, this song suited Byounggon and Doyoung the most! they really caught my eye in this performance !! like i knew they were going to win as soon as Byounggon yelled “PARTY PEOPLE~~” like...ok byounggon if u wanted my attention, all u had to do was just ask ;-;

byounggon looked really good in this perf... like really good..... too good *chokes*JFGKDGJKJSGF

im usually not fond of that “wet hair” style,,, but it looked so good on him...... /i cant breathe/

ALSO Doyoung’s singing??? i knew he was a good singer but this song really suited his voice and i got chills when he sang 

anyways, DNA TEAM ! :D 

they were amazing as well !! :D but their stage wasnt as flashy cuz DNA isnt really a flashy song,, its very straightforward LOL

anyways,,,,, yedam and seunghun’s high note was a literal out of body experience like i cant even function thinking abt it cuz it was so beautiful ... it was so flawless as well ... 

they sang so smoothly together ... i’ll never be over it ... 

i wish i could actually see them tho wtf was that green lighting

also can we appreciate how hard yedam works? i know lots of ppl say yyg exaggerates yedam’s talent and basically calls him a God LMAO ,,, but like,,, after this ,,, he truly is a genius cuz i cant even fathom learning a dance and song in an hour tops wowowow on top of studying for exams??and how much stress that is ?? i can barely eat when im studying for exams oml

.... he really is amazing ... and doesnt deserve all the shit yg throws at him 

OVERALL ! 

ok ok ok so now it gets controversial 

ELIMINATIONS : ( 

ok so as expected, Keita and Seunghun were eliminated which was such a shit move on yg’s part :/ like Keita is the longest running japanese trainee and seunghun is the longest running korean trainee... like wtf

and before i get shit for this, obviously i didnt want any of DNA team to be eliminated (i dont want anyone to be eliminated period),,, but c’mon ,, a 14 year old who has been training for not even a year VS 9 year and 5 year trainees ... ,, i’l admit, i think seunghun deserved that spot, 

and jeongwoo thought so too ,, like the look in jeongwoo’s eyes were not “oh yay i won!!” they were “me park jeongwoo??” kdfjdgkhsfd ,, he looked at seunghun immediately which was so sad cuz these trainees dont even have the time to be happy for themselves cuz they are too busy feeling sad for their friends... ... /sigh/

ok boomerang elimination time freaked me TF out cuz jihoon is my bias of like the entire show and ;-;;;;;;;;; jihoon ;-;;;;;; like obviously hyunsuk was expected, but i was thinking yoshinori or jihoon? really dont know with yg :/  

bUT IM SO HAPPY JIHOON MADE IT AJFKDFJSKGJ  like yes i love Yoshinori but ugh my heart hurts for jihoon .. he’s been through so much ... (but later i felt better keke)

and after those eliminations were over,,, like hyunsuk’s crying really got to me... he was crying ever since seunghun was eliminated and we all know hyunsuk cannot hide his emotions for shit so he was covering his ears during DNA eliminations and he apologized multiple times to the boomerang team and looked SO guilty... my heart ached hearing his sobs... they sounded so child-like and pitiful. it really put things into perspective ;-; 

before this, i was unsure if hyunsuk was fit to be a leader, not cuz he cant lead, but cuz he’s so emotional ... but after boomerang team, i think he really can lead Team A if/when they debut... like wow he was a really amazing leader and sometimes showing/feeling emotion can be good as a role model ... but ofc all team a members are amazing leaders LOL (also jihoon aka leader of team b)

ok i already said my peace abt growl so yeet ,,, was expected and i heard spoilers... /sigh/

and ok ok ,,, so i truly think Dumb and Dumber deserved to win,, but all the groups did so well ! i enjoyed all of them except growl tbh (maybe cuz that song has been covered so many times and im lowkey sick of it sdlkjfhdsjgs) but !! they all worked so hard :’(    

ALSO THAT ENDING AHAHAHAHA :))))

i believe the trainees who come back are Seunghun (i know it is LMAO) and Yoshinori(??) i say that cuz the camera zoomed on Treasure J members and Haruto opened his arms up for a hug !! and i feel like he would do that for another one of his members kldsjfdgahfjd 

PLUS Hyunsuk looked so happy and i know that happiness was directed at Seunghun too, but Yoshinori was also on his team which probs made him feel so much happier !! 

****** Another side note: Seunghun is LITERALLY SO UNLUCKY & HAS IT SO BAD ... like first, he lost against Mashiho when he was chosen by the 100 treasure makers (mashi was chosen by yg). then he won against yoonbin and yeongue, but was called out by everyone by being a popularity contest (which no one is complaining about now even tho these performances were all chosen by the fans ahah funny weird lmao ahah more sarcasm) + YG didnt even compliment him and/or Byounggon ?? :///  

AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT, he gets chosen to be in the Treasure 5, which i was initially SO excited for, but then D&D wins over the Treasures, leaving seunghun to be eliminated...he can never truly win ... + the only time he got complimented was right before he was eliminated, so waht the fuck...

we really though yedam was the protagonist of this show but UHH we thought wrong: it’s Seunghun !! :)))

also my inbox is open to im open to debating/talking/crying/screaming over all of this dksflhdsgkjhasf also fangirl/boying is allowed :^) especially about jihoon 

[jimlingss]

I should have read Jungle Park sooner, but then again at least I got to binge read it these past few days. I have it bookmarked weeeeeks ago. I was debating on whether to read it now or wait until it's finished but but I got nothing to do at work, so I just did it. Hahahah! Anyway, it's soooooo good! Thank you for creating such a wonderful story. -💙

eyy binging’s always nice, but jump onto the Jungle Park ship! There’s still a few more chapters to go that you can catch in real time. On a slightly different topic, I know the series is a lot lol. There’s a fuck ton of chapters so it makes me really grateful that so many people are willing to put time out of their lives to follow the story. It means a lot. So thanks

Anonymous said: JP UPDATES COME IN THE EARLY MORNING FOR ME SO I READ THE FIRST HALF AT HOME THEN THE SECOND HALF IN SCHOOL. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT OMYGHOD I WENT ALL SCREAM MODE IN CLASS EVERYONE LOOKED AT ME BUT I DONT CARE. JUNGLE PARK IS WOW. I LOST HALF OF MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR THE FEELS. HAVE A NICE DAY. TRULY. - anon h.a.n.d.

Anonymous said:im in like, in the angst denial from the get go in this chapter even though ik shit was about to go down. i was like "he's probably gonna kiss her or something bc he knows" WELL IN FACT HE DOESNT BUT SHIT IT WAS BETTER. ALL BETTER. I AM LIVING. have a nice day sweet kina. know that you are touching lives and memories with what you create. - anon h.a.n.d.

Anonymous said:hey so it's like 1:10 am here and i have school tomorrow and im doing my homework. im a bit tired and stuff so while writing i was thinking about what to read on tumblr after i finish my hw (bc i cant survive the night w/o reading something) and then i suddenly remembered the very last sentence hoseok said on chapter 17. Guess what? My paper is wet with tears idek anymore - anon h.a.n.d.

LOL OH MY GOD. If Hoseok kissed her, I’m pretty sure he’d get slapped. holy shit lol. A kiss was FAR FAR FAR from any of their thoughts hahahaha but it’s a funny idea to entertain. Anyways, thanks for being invested but make sure you rehydrate yourself lol

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAAA KINA IM CRYING LIKE FR CRYING THIS CHAPTER WAS SO HEART-WRENCHINGLY SAD I REALLY HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH THIS CHAPTER MADE ME FEEL THINGS AND THAT YOU TRULY OUTDO YOURSELF WITH EVERY CHAPTER. god i wish i could give you a physical, squeeze-you-to-death hug bc i appreciate you so much!! every time i leave a message it’s about how i can’t wait for the next ch. but after today’s post, i’ll be on the edge of my seat for the whole week aaa luv u a bunch, take care! - chanting anon

DO I REALLY OUTDO MYSELF EVERY CHAPTER??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF COMPLIMENT THAT EVEN MEANS TO ME? OMFG A LOT. IT MEANS A LOT. THANK YOU - YOU’RE SO SWEET UGH. no man, you gotta let ME hug YOU. thanks for reading and always sending me a message after every chapter. you’re awesome. 

Anonymous said:Hoseok you sweet glorious sunchild, I can't wait to see you suffer more from the reveal of your past... 😘 Welp since I was 14 hours too early, JP is updated on Tuesday in my timezone haha. Feels like I'm someone from the future of something lolol

lol i know for some people JP is posted on Tuesday instead of Monday....but yeah it’s kind of like you’re from the future so there we go haha

Anonymous said:That chapter of Jungle Park!! I feel like crying my heart is so heavy!! You write it so well, it was heart wrenching! I'm happy the secret is out and that they could talk about it, even if it didn't go well 👀 and he loves her!!!! Can't believe he fell for her twice how ironic is that 😂 love love it! Thanks for writing it! - 👀 anon

cat’s finally out of the bag. so many people begged for the secret to be revealed and now that it is.....ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY??!?!??! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?! THIS MADNESS. THIS CHAOS. THIS PAIN?! WEREN’T YOU HAPPY WHEN IT WAS HIDDEN AND EVERYTHING WAS HAPPY?! BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR! SO TAKE IT. LOL

but yeah they finally got to talk about it. anyways, thanks :D

[ot5]

hiii 💗 I missed you but no worries at all, these asks are getting so long so I totally get not being in the right mindset to reply to them each and every day!! esp when we don’t get any sunshine 💔 but yeah talk about fate with our cats NJSNSJ honestly I think that’s still my favourite thing, very iconic of us <3

you know what? that’s fair, I wouldn’t wanna travel with me either so no hard feelings there. and omg well at least no one tried denying me boarding so there’s that ndjsjs 💀 oh, I went to berlin once with my class as well and I didn’t really like it either tbh but maybe I should give it another chance at some point, guess people must be on to something since it seems to be generally well liked 😬 and omg what kinda special diet are we talking about 👀

no I did not end up doing the smaller ornaments rip <3 guess we’ll try again next year with those. also seriously, who tf thinks it’s a good idea to sell these without the string attached already like... do I look like I got time or patience for this 😭 and look at you getting some decoration up though!! ✨ (glad you seem to have so much to choose from ndjsjs)

honestly I’m not even sure if my trial ran out by now? when I signed up for the trial I already had to give them my credit card information so guess they won’t inform me once my trial is over 🥴 but yeah I was planning on keeping it for a bit, figured maybe it’ll be easier to get into it if I don’t feel pressured by the 7 days I got but let’s see how it goes!! so far I only know how to change the background but maybe I’ll get there eventually

and omg you sound like one of my friends with the shipping never making it on time ndjsjs except she can’t blame only international shipping cause it was the same when I still lived in germany. if I’m cursed when it comes to flying she’s cursed when it comes to sending me mail. my birthday’s at the end of october and she sent me a package mid october which I never got up until it just randomly showed up at the bottom of my stairs on.... new years eve 🤡 but yeah don’t let it stop you, I’m sure it’ll make everyone happy no matter when they end up getting your mail 🥺💗

I still haven’t done any cards but maybe... I will tomorrow, fingers crossed 😩

omg i know im the one who yeeted but i missed you too🥺 they rly are long scream. and i love that<33

rip to miss berlin sorry to that city💔 i think i was just being petty at that time bc id rather gone to vienna and my crush went to a different city as well which...u know. priorities😌 the ppl we stayed with were like a niche sort of vegetarians?? like..i dont think ive seen a single normal vegetable or carb that week😭 and on top of that im the pickiest eater so its already a struggle🥰 at least p much every country has nutella i owe her my life

ur valid! do u perhaps have a sibling you could delegate that task too? i managed to get my brother to do most of the shitty tasks this year sdjkjsn im actually getting a lil impatient for christmas dinner because we have most the food in the house now and mom keeps telling me i cant eat the smoked salmon but she’s calling to me😔 how is ur christmas gonna look like? do u have special foods or traditions?👀 or did we go over this already i forgot💀 if we did dont mind me nsdkfjs

OMG u had to give them ur credit card info?? girl thats so scary to me😭 im glad i can survive in my country without needing a credit card bc those are😳😳 i had to get a temporary one once for a 1d concert in belgium and it aged me 10 years. the things i do for them</3 but yes to you keeping it and having more time to learn!!! i can feel that progress coming!!

SCREAM me as your friend sending smth within the country and still being late🤝 i still have a birthday card to send to someone when her bday was in august so your friend isnt even that bad DJKNSDJL miss santa....if our reveal goes well and doesnt end up in a blocking either could i send u a card too?🥺 you've been so kind😔 it’ll be late but ur used to that already🥰❤️

[lizziebennet]

Hi Aurora okay first tysm for your blog It's so lovely to have another person so passionate about my fave things (i.e hp and period dramas) Anyway, i recently read the HP series (again) and found myself feeling SO MUCH. I genuinely teared up at so many different touching parts and I was just wondering what are your favorite most heart-wrenching/emotional parts from the books? I realize this is a lengthy quesition so feel free to never answer this or take a year.

ye S SS i love being passionate ab things and sharing that passion w my followers!!!!! i love yall esp when u ask me questions like this where i get to talk ab my fave things everrrrrrrrr (ps thank u so much for letting me take forever to answer this ur so cute to say that ilysm)

ok so literally i will cry my way thru the entire series when i reread bc harry potter has so much emotional weight for me and so many memories that go along with it. but i decided to limit myself to just 10 bc otherwise id be sitting here typing all day. so w/o further ado: 

AURORA’S TOP 10 MOST TEARFUL HARRY POTTER MOMENTS: 

((in no particular order)) 

HARRY READS LILY’S LETTER IN DH: listen harry doesnt actually spend a lot of the books angsting over the fact that he doesnt have parents but in moments like this u remember he IS AN ORPHAN AND IT GETS ME SO HARD. fuk like just picturing harry crouched on the floor of sirius’s bedroom reading that letter… rereading it… crying… wow.gif!!!!! the line that makes me cry eveRY TIME is “She had made her g’s the same way he did : he searched through the letter for every one of them, and each felt like a friendly little wave glimpsed from behind a veil.“ LIKE RIP RIP RIP ABORT ABORT ABORT ITS TOO SAD!!!!!

THE LOST PROPHECY IN OOTP: JESSESCREAMING.JPEG!!!!!!!!!!!! listen ,,, i talk ab this chapter so much on my blog. it is my #1 favorite moment in my #1 favorite harry potter book which is my #1 favorite series of all time. SO ITS A PRETTY BIG DEAL. harry’s reaction to sirius’s death… his anger at dumbledore… his grief… his discovery of his fate… its beautiful writing and its so painful but so amazing to read. LIKE!!!!! MY BABY!!! HE’S LOST SO MANY PEOPLE!!!!!!!! MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD!!!!!!!!!! “I DON’T CARE!“ Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!” “You do care,” said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”” LIKE LITERALLY WHEN I GET TO THIS POINT I HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK BC IM CRYING SO MUCH I CANT MAKE OUT THE WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!! also fun story: one time i was listening to ootp on audiobook while on vacation and we were in the car waiting to taxi on to a ferry boat and we were listening to this chapter when the ferry guy came by to take our tickets and i had like TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE and jim dale is yelling as harry in the background…. the guy was like ‘is this bitch ok??’ lmaOOOOo 

HARRY AND THE MIRROR OF ERISED IN SS:  this is another one of those moments where you remember that harry is an orphan and its /so/ painful. thinking about this teeny 11 year old baby harry sneaking out every night just to sit in front of this mirror so he can see his parents………my darling baby sweetheart i love him So Much. it just makes me so sad like hes /so young/ AND HE JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! it also gives way to one of my all time favorite hp quotes: “It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” 

HARRY STOPS SIRIUS AND LUPIN FROM KILLING PETER IN POA: me reading this part is literally ISAYTHATSMYBABYANDIMREALLYPROUD.GIF!!!!!! like!! my boy!! he finds out this man literally caused the death of his parents and he MAKES THE GROWN ASS ADULTS SPARE HIS LIFE… LIKE… he literally acts twice his age and is so mature and is just…….so amazing. it shows such strength and wisdom and it makes me SO PROUD. the way he references james also makes me cry because you see the relationship harry has with james even though he’s literally never met him and its so beautiful. i love harry so much. 

HARRY AFTER SECTUMSEMPER-ING MALFOY IN HBP: this is literally the opposite of that last one where im so proud of harry this is def… not one of his best moments lol. he rly rly fucks up and his guilt is so raw and it makes me so emotional because i feel SO bad for him. its def an important harry moment in the books because it shows his flaws and the consequences of his rage, but it also shows how GOOD he is because he feels so bad about what happens and like willingly takes his punishment even though it means that he cant play in the quidditch match. he really like… atones and even tho its rough to read i def love that its a part of the series bc its a really like watershed moment for harry and i think it really reminds him of the wizard he wants to be. this part also leads to i think a more satisfying harry/ginny first kiss bc ginny defends harry and then him not going to the game leads to “several sunlit days” AKA ONE OF MY FAVE HP MOMENTS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

HARRY AND HERMIONE VISIT JAMES AND LILY’S GRAVE IN DH: “But they were not living, thought Harry: They were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents’ moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing.And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.”  THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS THAT I HAVE TO STOP READING BC IM CRYING SO MUCH I CANT MAKE OUT THE WORDS ANYMORE. I CRIED TYPING THIS. IM SO SAD. 

THE FOREST AGAIN IN DH: hoo boy. hoooooo boy this is a Big One. this one is really…. wow. just. wow. [deep breath]. there is So Much in this chapter that makes me cry where do i even START. harry realizing that he has to die and ACCEPTING IT BRAVELY LIKE THE HERO HE IS. “Why had he never appreciate what a miracle he was,  brain and nerve and bounding heart?” im crying….. hes so good. HARRY NEARLY STOPPING WHEN HE SEES GINNY and ginny’s crying and comforting some girl and im crying too. JAMES. SIRIUS. LILY. REMUS. WHEN HARRY ASKS IF IT HURTS TO DIE LIKE LITEARLLY I HAVE TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND GET UP  AND WLAK AROUND THE ROOM BECAUSE I GET SO EMOTIONAL LIKE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! when harry sees harry and screams at him ……………… rip in pieces me!!!!!!!! ALSO ONE OF HIS LAST THOUGHTS BEFORE THE AVADA KEDAVRA IS OF GINNY AND KISSING HER……….. [GUNSHOTS] [SCREAMING]

BELLATRIX TORTURES HERMIONE IN DH: fuk this scene is no joke scary like it took harry potter to another level of real darkness. hermione being tortured was so chilling like beautiufl amazing smart snarky hermione it was so painful to read like my heart rate goes up when i read it bc im worried for my girl :/ and ron is sHAKING and like screaming and literally throwing himself at the walls to try to get to her and its SO upsetting like. they are still CHILDREN like theyre all so young and they dont deserve this like. hearing her plead and stuff … its just…. too much. these are my CHILDREN i have to PROTECT them. 

HARRY DIGS DOBBYS GRAVE IN DH: this is another one of those harry moments where i just want to give him a huge hug. like he insists on digging dobby’s grave by hand which is just ..... [gets choked up] its fine. and his thoughts while he dig make me so sad. he so /tired/. hes so frustrated with dumbledore and he the hallows and the horcruxes and he feels responsible for what happened. and ron coming out and helping him dig silently makes me so happy and its one of those times u really see how much rons friendship means to harry. and harry comes out of this like ... older and more mature? his wisdom and knowledge is rly apparent when he talks with griphook and olivander right after this like. he knows what hes going to do. hes made his choice. hes not going to race voldemort for the wand. i love him so much for that choice. hes such a grown man in this part like accepting responsibility, taking care of hermione and everyone like getting things in order. i love him. 

MRS WEALSEY HUGS HARRY IN THE HOSPITAL WING IN GOF: “’It wasn’t your fault, Harry,’ Mrs. Weasley whispered. ‘I told him to take the cup with me,’ said Harry. Now the burning feeling was in his throat too. He wished Ron would look away. Mrs. Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother. The full weight of everything he had seen that night seemed to fall in upon him as Mrs. Weasley held him to her. His mothers face, his father’s voice, the sight of Cedric, dead on the ground all started spinning in his head until he could hardly bear it, until he was screwing up his face against the howl of misery fighting to get out of him.” HARRY POTTER DESERVES MORE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he feels so guilty about cedric and god bless mrs weasley for telling him it wasnt his fault because it WASNT!!! he did so amazing in the graveyard like.. .he saw voldemort return and he fought him and he survived and he saw his paretns and hE TOOK CEDRICS BODY BACK SO IT COULD BE WITH HIS FAMILY!!!!!!!! HE TOOK IT BACK FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i would die a thousand deaths if it meant that harry didnt have to experience this pain!!!!

whew so there we go!!!!! the bottom line is obviously that i love the harry potter series more than anything and specifically i love the boy harry potter so so SO much and his suffering is agonizing to read and he didnt deserve any of it!!! i can litearlly think of SO many more heartbreaking moments in the series but here are just a handful. happy birthday to harry!!! 

[dangkinronpa]

positivity for mikan whos been going through a lot lately

its under the cut mikan!! -mod ami

hey mikan!! first of all try to take some deep breaths; focus on the feeling of air going in and out, how ur lungs expand and contract, how the air tastes or smells, anything like that. if u have something like music/games/relaxing hobbies on hand to sooth u then try to take some time to do those. ull be okay, and u can get through this. it sounds like ur going through a lot, but i hope u know just how strong u are for braving it as well as u are -- just keep going and ull be okay.

being irritable/misplacing ur anger when ur so stressed is only natural, so i understand if uve been rude or doing bad things without feeling guilt. penting things up so much can lead to u detaching from the feeling to protect urself, so that may be why u dont feel guilty anymore.. it doesnt mean ur a bad person, just that itd be good to find a way to vent ur feelings. 

try doing something u love and expressing urself through that!! u could also try something like squeezing/ripping up an old doll, writing and burning a letter with everything u want to but cant say, or screaming into a pillow. its important to express urself and not suppress stress, especially when ur going through as much as u are now, so that it doesnt hurt u or ur friends. itd probably be good to let the people u were rude to that it wasnt because of them and to apologize as best u can. 

and though venting to someone or generally not feeling well may seem like an inconvenience/taxing experience for someone else, i want u to know that ur not a bother and the people around u are there because they care. theyre there for u!! its okay to lean on others.. and if u still feel guilty about it, try reframing it by thinking that if u dont rely on others, they likely wont feel close enough to rely on u. its okay to open up when u feel safe to. if the person/s do say otherwise tho its probably best that u separate urself.. u deserve as much love and comfort as anyone else, mikan. surround urself with kind and caring people as best u can, because u deserve nothing but the best. 

if this person ur feeling angry with is annoyed by u, for example, then maybe ur frustration is in fact appropriate? either way ur feelings are there, theyre real, and theyre valid (no matter what) but if someone rejecting u when u need their love/attention.. its easily frustrating. i understand if ur angry. if u really value the relationship id suggest opening up to them about how u feel and telling them whats going on for u, focusing mostly on that rather than what theyre doing, just so they can understand and u can hopefully come to an agreement of sorts.. and if u dont think thatd work, maybe its best to pull away and take some time for urself. 

as for ur dysphoria, i know how that feels -- im a trans guy myself, so while things may be a bit different i can understand where ur coming from.. and so can many others. ur not alone in this mikan, and ur a girl no matter what anyone says or what u fear. here are some masterposts for more tips about dealing with dysphoria!! (x x)

and through all this, feeling depressed and not having the motivation to do much else is natural; shutting down to stop feeling the stress is common, but i want u to know u can get through it. try to keep urself as up and active as u can without wearing urself out by doing a little bit at a time. try doing ur laundry, or straightening up ur room a little, or treating urself to some good food or a relaxing bath. take care of urself, mikan, as hard as it may be. a little bit at a time -- slow and steady -- wins the race. u can do this, and ur doing so well already!! just keep going.

mikan, i know ur going through a lot right now, and i understand wanting to be able to do more for people and help them -- but right now id say to take care of urself first. u need love and help as much as they do, so remember to take some time and give urself the attention ud give the people around u. getting frustrated from not doing as much as u want to is completely understandable tho.. and getting frustrated in general is natural, too. u seem to be under a lot of stress, so please be sure to take care of urself mikan.

as hard as everything is right now, i hope u know ur so strong for shouldering everything and soldiering on as well as u are -- uve survived everything up until this point, so theres no doubt u can get through this too!! keep going mikan. feeling stressed and frustrated from everything ur going through is natural, so its crucial u take care of urself and be sure to destress and surround urself with happy things as best u can until things settle down. stay strong mikan, and if u ever need someone to talk to im here. 

[survivornavarino]

Episode #9: I’m A Fighter -Jake

*loud screeching noise* AHHHHHHHHHH omfg i cant believe we just did that #beam 4 life ok so like i feel horrible because i love drew but he was trying to make an alliance and it didnt include me and i had to take him out before it was too late because while it wouldnt be me this vote it probably would next time so like sorry drew i love u im sure this doesnt help my case for like why u should b my friend but like i rlly am sorry.  also i feel bad for lying to jake but it just wouldve gotten back to drew and i didnt want to risk that.  im hoping he doesnt hate me too much for blindsiding his ally but like again, they were trying to have a majority alliance that i wasnt a part of and i just didn't want to deal with it tbh.  maybe jake and i are just doomed to eternally be on separate sides in games idk (sad music plays) umm trixie idk we dont really talk we just kind of coexist UM HOLDUP JESUS CHRIST WE JUST FUCKING MERGED WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WIG ON PLUTO WHAT TO HECK ????? im off to plot heathers demise xoxo gossip beckka

Woot Woot its merge loves. Time to be a complete mess and be first merge boot. Hehehe

I MADE IT, MY SECOND ATHENA GAME AND I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN IM INCREDIBLEY HAPPY. Let’s hope I don’t get eighth place again, and if I’m gonna be honest I need Drew gone if I’m gonna win. He’s so fucking good at challenges. So eliminating him would mainly be out of fear.

Remember how I’m a dumbass? Me too ok so Drew was eliminated already.

Excuse me I am stupid and don't get letters are better as numbers... and also reversed. I would like an explanation plzz

words tried in number form and reversed so far that have not worked. Emily-Amanda-Abbey-Francie, Navarino, Survivor, Athena. Im gonna cry I cant find it yet.

Oh yeah tea, I ended up finding a secret advantage called the deja vote which means I can steal someone’s vote from a tribal and re-use it at a later tribal 

This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out. Okay so looking back at my last confessional, bitch I'm boo boo the fool. I seriously thought Eddie and Autumn were being honest with me because I trust(ed) them sooo much, but it turns out they were playing me and orchestrating a Drew blindside behind my back. So before I went out last night, EVERYONE told me they were voting Matt. Then two minutes before the vote, Eddie and Autumn message me like "JAKE! Are you here??? SOMETHING is happening" like bitch shut the fuck up something is not happening don't act like this shit just happened last minute. Then they say "Drew is getting voted out tonight!" So...I went to Drew and told him to play the idol if he had it. Because I didn't want Matt staying if I was voting for him. But Drew said he didn't have an idol, and Eddie found out that I told Drew and told Autumn. So after I got home I messaged the group chat with Eddie and Autumn and told them that I was upset by them lying to me bc I did trust them the most. Then Autumn decided to get ballsy and reply "I don't buy that at all since you told Drew to play his idol, you were more loyal to him than me." GIRL STFU yes the fuck I did tell Drew because you told me TWO MINS BEFORE TRIBAL - MEANING YOU KEPT THE VOTE HIDDEN FROM ME ALL DAY. DON'T SAY IM DISLOYAL WHEN YOU WERE THE BIGGEST MFING SNAKE THIS ROUND! ...Anyways. Autumn then tries to come for me by saying "So tell, what's with this alliance between you, Eddie, Drew, and Trixie." And this is when I got more mad. BC Drew proposed this alliance to me, but it was never made, hell I didn't even tell Trixie about it. And when I told Eddie about it I told him I think we should tell Autumn about the alliance (Since he wanted to as well) So it became clear that Autumn was spreading to rebecka and matt that I was in an actual alliance with them to get them all to turn on us. So um Autumn, I wanted to trust you and go far with you in this game, but you're dead to me in this game now and I want you GONE. Autumn has the most connections here. She has Eddie, Rebecka, Matt, Ben, and I've heard that she has Mitch as well. She is a huge threat and if I can find a way to take her out, I will. But right now I need to focus on surviving. After the vote, Trixie added me to a call with Julia. Julia told us all of the alliances she's in (and she's in a damn lot) and said she basically likes Trixie more so she's working with us. Umm okay that's cool. I hope she's being serious because my life in this game is in Julia's hands now. She has all these connections and I need to get her to gun for someone that isn't me, Trixie, or Shoib. I've decided that my ideal final 3 would be with Trixie and Shoib because I trust them the most now, we've been together since day one, and we're all fans. It would be perfect. Sooo yeah. I also talked to Heather and basically blamed Tyler for all the animosity between us. I am trying to repair relationships and hopefully push the target off my back because I am worried about being targeted for 12th. IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO! I am in SUCH a bad position right now and it's so annoying. At the start of this game I had a lot of allies and the two people who trusted me the most (Tyler and Drew) are gone. But I'm a FIGHTER. I will NOT give up! I was in the minority at merge in crossroads and turned it around and made it to FTC so I just have to keep pushing and hopefully I'll get the same results! Woo wig! This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out.

https://youtu.be/iUDlOxxgtz0 my face in the thumbnail for this video is so funny cause it's when i found out of another to do the idol search. Obviously we know it didn't work adhshjks

I am pumped for this merge, I feel like I am playing a really under the radar game and it will make people come to me and ask me to vote with them if the game does break down into two sides, which I think it will. I trust Julia and Trixie the most right now and Trixie has two FREAKING idols omg. I also trust Mitch and Autumn but they are my secondary alliance which I will fall back on if I lose Trixie and Julia

Ok so no one is really messaging me about the vote, which is scary. I don't want to be first merge boot. The only people who have spoke to me are Matt, which he is confused, and Jake, which says no one really spoke to him about the vote yet. I did hear that people thought Ben and I were close, which like we have voted together, but aren't to close. I know now that Trixie has an idol and someone found the merge idol so FUN. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FIRST MERGE BOOT.

Me starting a grassroots movement of Ben vs Heather cause I'm not aligned with either? Yep. Me forcing people to show their hands and make choices? Absolutely https://68.media.tumblr.com/41399c7dcc99b69388de05d609f7323c/tumblr_inline_o6ola1oDhw1sso1z7_500.gif Look none of these votes will be easy cause I like everyone and I'm aligned with almost everyone but it's Survivor I ain't scurd. I neeevvveerrr talk to Ben or Heather so I'm just gonna be a swing vote in the mess I created. Also feel free to give me the villain edit that's the one thing I haven't accomplished in Athena, besides winning or beating my placement. If not that's cool too I'll just continue to be my messy antihero self. Ok bye! Time to disappear and let the drama fester while I'm at work

You know what would be great, if more people would know who the vote is gonna be. Won't be surprised if that is me to be quite honest. Right now I hear Ben and if that is the only name I hear, I'll do it.

i never thought i'd say this but I WANNA HEX JULIA THE WITCH. okay not really bc i dont want her to read this and think im actually mad. but im wary of what i say to her now considering she told heather about my idol hehe

The votes for me cuz Beckka is bitter over another game. At least in that game I didn't isolate her. I'm prob just gonna cry in a corner.

This is a mess

this round has been a fucking mess and a half and im too busy rn trying to save my ass to make it all sophisticated i have a lot to say so if i stay ill explain everything later but basically autumn came to me today saying she wants to flip on ben so im trying to rally eddie trixie shoib julia and heather to get 7 on ben but apparently ben is throwing my name out bc he doesnt want to vote heathwr and immm fucking nervous idek if heather will wanna vote ben now if hes trying to save her what if she flips like this is bad help

The first merge vote is stressful as fuck cus there’s 12 people. I’m fine as long as it’s not me.

Don't know what's going on. Voting heather and hoping it works!!!!!

Good god am I glad I'm immune for this bullshit Let's start with merge. Woo merge! The idol system is announced. I actually make progress on the advantage hunt! Then I finish it. And someone already has it. GREAT So then I try the idol hunt and someone ALSO has it! GREATER. So now I have to worry about that shit. So I won immunity somehow because I guess preparing was a good idea since I blew through the second round. I won't be first merge boot in Athena woo!!! But now the vote is fucking crazy. I want to vote out Heather because, as sweet as she is, she's got a lot of ears listening for info for her and it's better to get someone like that out early before it's too late. But people don't want to because they're the ears! Big surprise. People are between Jake and Ben and Heather and honestly? I want to keep Ben around a little more. My plan for now is to not have one big alliance, but rather to be a part of small trio alliances so people can have my back without the worry of a huge alliance fracturing. I just have to keep the trio members safe. My planned trios are as follows: Ben, Mo, myself Shoib, Autumn, myself Rebecka, Julia, myself (WIP) That's 7 people who have my back in varying circumstances, as long as they're being truthful. I've also been alerted to a greater alliance of Matt, Ben, Julia, Mo, and Rebecka. Hopefully this trio plan will help me get in with those people more, and perhaps in the close future I can take out Matt and get rid of that variable.

i made merge!! its lit!! there hasnt been a lot going on so far. nobodys really reached out to me and ive been so busy so im just going with what rebecka wants, which is heather. i’m not sure voting heather is a good move for me, in fact i know its not, but unfortunatelt i dont have the time to make another move and im just tryin to survive

What is going on here on this day? This is a mess and i'm just on the train a long for the ride. I'm hearing Ben, Jake, and Heather, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's me tonight. Like I'm sure they're afraid of Jake having an idol, so why not throw their votes on someone who's irrelevant at the moment and who probably wouldn't see it coming? Anyway, I HIGHLY doubt Ben is leaving tonight, and I don't really believe that the votes are going on Heather or Jake, idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk. I really hope Jake stays, and I really hope Ben goes or I am probably screwed af.

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #12: "FUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooouuoock me." - Maynor

Well. Looks like Bryce wasnt trust worthy at all. I can only have annabelle but we dont talk too much. I need to win immunity or my ass is gone next.

I definately need to win this immunity if I want to regroup. A even bigger fire in me wanting to play even more aggressive. Ive been passive. Now I dont really care who goes. Except for Annabelle ❤️. Im going to try and throw wrenches in their plans and try to get someone from their side out.

I’m on 230. Idk what my goal is going to be but i think im going to stop around 2pm so i can go back to 1 before 5pm deadline comes. I really need to win this immunity. 😰

Update. I am now at 500 for the number. Its barely noon. Idk if i should keep going or start to go back down to one. I just hope im the furtherest from everyone else. I would die if i dont win.

I feel so terrible. like that Nathan vote was the hardest thing I have had to do in this game so far. He betrayed my trust a lot. But I really got along so well with him. And Nathan deserves better. Ugh. Like Brian and I literally feel gross. And now I have to do damage control with Anna and make it seem like a last minute switch when actually it was me being a terrible person and plotting all round against one of the nicest players ever. I'm feeling rough and this season is getting really tough.

Well I am still here! I am honestly shocked that I am, but I will TAKE it gladly! Maybe I will stop being the target now cause nathan is gone (we shall see though, I feel like Bryce and brian are now HATED by Maynor and Anna) which will be nice. I now have the lovely (....) distinction of having the most votes cast against me in celestial history. and ALL Since the merge started lmao! I really am a magnet for votes huh. I feel good, might have to be rude to someone to get a target off my back though so uh maybe bitch boi matt will make a return at some point? We shall see

its so awk trying to talk to annabelle bc 1 she doesnt talk to me but more importantly idk what to say like. she feels betrayed but sharkys the one who threw nathans name out NNN she should be glad if it were up to me shed be in ponderosa right now ASFKJADSHFKJS. idk like i literally just forced a convo with her so i could confront her about leaking to sharky and she just ghosts. i want DRAMA. i want TEA. and yet nothing. maybe instead of doing the most i should be doing immunity but counting is literally so anxiety inducing and daunting JKHDAFSDKJFHKJ. anyways 6th is cute too

FUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooouuoock me. I got to 626 to pay my respect to Stitch and i mess up gojng down from 323 and put 321. I never wanted to cry so bad. I wanted to scream into the void. I cant even with this challenge. I restarted and back at 404. Its 1:25 and deadline 5. Hopefully itll be enough time.

OK, so I definitely won't win immunity, but I tried to do well!  I don't think my submission will be good enough, but I can hope and pray it is!!  I don't even know if I fucked up, but I don't think I did... so hopefully 317 is the number for me!!

In other tea time news, Nathan... ya... um... when you see this I want you to truly understand how heartbroken I am at what happened.  I knew with all the strong-minded gameplay and trust you had in me that we would've been final 2 given the chance, but I also think that what threw me off was Annabelle's constant tea spilling at Sharky and the fact that your closest allies (aside from myself) were her and Maynor, who I like but have little to no actual game relationship with.  In addition, your desire to take out Matt every single round of the merge?  Wig.

I also found out Bryce was the other Matt vote during the merge vote... so... wow I'm powerful....

According to me and Bryce's plans in this game, ideally, Sharky will go this round... but after sending home Nathan last round, my whole ass heart is on some different shit.  I just feel like me doing that would be another rough ass round, and I don't think I could handle it.  It was easier when people like Nick, who annoyed me on a game level, were the names being thrown out, especially with how cocky he was... but now I'm like... wow, these people?  Amazing.

I think Sharky winning immunity wouldn't be too bad because then I can finally push Annabelle out and won't have to worry about her, so I'm banking on that!  I don't wanna ruin Bryce and I's plans in this game, I just feel more confident sitting with Sharky than like anyone else.

I also think my relationship with Maynor is so much better, and I can actually work with him further down the road.  He sketched me out a lot in the past, but I really think it's a solid ally for me if I can get him passed this round.  Annabelle or Sharky are the ideal targets, but I'm really feeling an Annabelle vote this round.  I may not be in the best spot for immunity this round, but I know I'll have my A-game on and ready next round, so I'm READY.

I was doing so well in this challenge. I had like 900 and I screwed up. Now I'm feeling the pressure. And I keep messing up. Now I've got less than 3 hours to make it up and hopefully finally win something. Brian told me he did not do well. And I don't want anyone else to win because it will limit our options going forward.

I'm over it. I screwed up HARD. And now I have like no time to recover. I'm over it.

I decided to go back to 626. And at 2:41pm i was able to get back down to 1. Im happy but i really hope that was enough because if it wasnt then im going to cry. I really want to win this. Stitch my favorite please give me luck. 🦑

last round was so risky i hope it doesnt just get me 6th. i tried to get together with anna again and i think we are but maynor not so much which sucks but as long as brian is real with wanting to keep me i should be good imagine if it was fake and he wasnt really taking me to the end NNN adsjkfhadskj the gag of the season? but ugh sharky really wants me out again like maybe get a clue and stop.

That was upsetting. But Bryce did really well so I applaud him. Its most likely going to be me tomorrow night. It sucks but i can at least try and see if i can find a way to stay.

There is some hope. Annabelle and I want to make it a tie with Matt. And when its rock time, Brian or Sharky hopefully get the odd color and they are sent home. Thats the only play right now that I think can save me. I have to rely on Bryce who i dont trust at all anymore. But kind of have to if i want to survive tomorrow.

i'm down for some mutual destruction this vote. I hope that this pays off or it could totally fuck me over but it is what it is if this works out i'll take this as like a win for nathan and i'll  be in a much better spot i think. wish me luck <3

I WON IMMUNITY PPL CAN TRY TO COME FOR ME BUT THEY CANT SURE MAYBE I PLAYED BAD IDK I HAVE BAD SENSE OF SELF WORTH BUT MAYBE I DID PLAY WELL BUT MAYBE I DIDNT BUT U KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND FACTS!!! ME WINNING THIS IMMUNITY. BRIAN DOESNT WANT TO VOTE SHARKY ALL OF A SUDDEN WHICH IS SKETCH BUT NOW THAT I HAVE IMMUNITY IM NOT AFRAID OF VOTING SHARKY AND HOPING ANNABELLE AND MAYNOR VOTE WITH ME IM TALKING IN CAPS BC IM SO EXCITED MY STOMACH WAS LITERALLY A MESS ALL DAY BC OF HOW NERVOUS I WAS COUNTING UP AND DOWN AND SEVERAL BREAKDOWNS LATER I WON WOOOOOOOHHOOO IT REALLY IS BRYCE HISTORY MONTH!!!! anyways yaa i hope f5 is me brian matt maynor anna and that brian is real one and uses vote steal there so we auto have immunity but maybe i try to win immunity again anyway to make sure im safe.... but then at f5 i think anna has to go but she'll be so mad idk maybe maynor.. or  maybe matt whomst knows KJASDHFKJS but wooh in this moment... i am at peace

Im convinced annabelle is like a marine biologist or something with how much she loves sharky! i just want him out KFJASDHFKJ i love being pushy jk i literally hate it but i just want him out its not a lot to ask and i feel like im getting played idk but at this point my loyalty is to brian so if he betrays me its like w/e NNN just hoping itll work out maybe i comp my way into a losing finalist spot... anyways i just got into dear evan hansen again so love that renewed obsession

The Fajita Fellas are actually a solid alliance. I know I've been skeptical of Bryce in the past but I'm actually starting to trust him which is cool. HOWEVER it's also an issue because if I'm going to keep trying to save Anna it's only going to get harder. I'm hoping this vote will be easy squeezy. I told the FF that Maynor is easy and least likely to have an idol. They seem good with that. So...we'll see.

I am very nervous for tonight. I am 2 of the options for Sharky, Brian, and Matt to do. Annabell and I are throwing each other under the bus to them. But our plan is to vote Sharky and hoping have Bryce with us and cause a tie. And on the revote hope one flips on Sharky or we go to rocks. And hopefully Matt or Brian get the rocks.

The vote is me tonight. If plan goes according to it should be 3 vote sharky and 3 vote me. Im really hoping they flip on sharky or that Matt or Brian get rocked out. 🤞🤞🤞

So this vote seems so simple, its like kinda amazing for once. Last tribal had so much deceit and lying to get Nathan out and this tribal is like. so. quiet? you could literally hear a pin drop. Maynor and Anna seem like they have legit given up trying to get further, with both apparently voting for the other. How quiet it is is making me slightly nervous, but I do know that if i do somehow leave i am very proud of my game I have played. and I will have the same placement as Standrea so like nothing could be wrong with that huh?

The vote ties, 3 votes Maynor and 3 votes Sharky.

Im died. It worked but now here is hoping for matt or brian to flip. Im scared n excited.

bro... wtf. Can I say I am mad at Bryce? no not really I saw this coming from a mile off, hell even from the other side as the Atlantic. so like mad? nah? Its just... making me so sad. Like I REALLY DO NOT want to go home, i've been through too much to get to this point. But like,... I REALLY love sharky as a person. Like, I love him loads so this is a REALLY hard decision. Fuck my life I don't know what to do

I HATE REVOTES. SO. MUCH. i AM REFUSING TO TELL ANNA ANYTHING cause i like know she will immediately run to sharky and if I am to flip I am gonna tell him first not let him hear via Anna cause that is fucking SHADY. she's just pissing me off tbqh and its just like??? at least be cordial and get off invisible for fucking once

i think the plan worked? it was so awk trying to talk to matt i felt bad but i hope he understands he said he did so! and like... idk its just so hm idk idk. hm. like brian and matt both prob gonna flip wooh. matt said i played well so maybe i did like i tend to never think i played well but maybe i did but maybe hes just lying so KJFSDHJFA wooh

BRIAN IS THE SKETCHIEST PERSON IVE EVER PLAYED WITH I JUST WANNA GO TO THE END WITH HIM BUT HES LITERALLY BACKSTABBING ME I WANTED HIM TO JUST 4-2 SHARKY BUT NO HE WANTED TO MAKE IT GO TO ROCKS TO FEEL BETTER OR WELL GO TO TIE NOT ROCKS AND NOW HES LIKE SORRY SHARKY HAS TO STAY LIKE NO HE ACTUALLY DOESNT HAVE TO STAY IF U VOTE HIM AND ANNA STOPS BEING FAKE AND TRYING TO KEEP HIM WHEN HES DONE NOTHING BUT LIE TO HER AHHHH THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING SJDKFHADSKJFHSDKJF DSHFKJADSHFKJADSHFKASJFHKADSJFHADSKJSKFHASDKJFHASKJFAHKJFS ps: i love everyone in this game... but in this moment? i was ATTACKED

It’s almost about that time. 20 more minutes. I am very nervous. I hope that Bryce and Annabelle stick with me and hope Matt or Brian flipped if not then at least go to rocks. Im really hoping that this move works. But this final 6. I ❤️ Annabelle. ❤️ Sharky. ❤️ Brian. ❤️ Bryce. ❤️ Matt. They are all awesome.

Brian is rocked out.