#like the first part of thst is sad enough but the second really fucks me up right now
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erizee · 5 years ago
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#oof first post concert depression#after berlin i was just exited 24/7 and i just sort of calmed down#and yesterday and most of today i was super happy about the concert and about fucking meeting them#and i still am#but now im worrying about the dumbest shit like#i was super awkward and exited and they were super nice and i was just like hey can u sign this can i hug you bye#matti told me he liked my shirt and asked if i made it myself and i said yes and kind of ran away because i was super overwhelmed#and i wanted to ask him stuff and tell him how much their music means to me#and it seemed like he actually wanted to talk to me and i couldnt deal with that so i ran away ugh#like they probably dont even remember lol they have concerts every week and meet people every time probably#but i remember and i was super awkward and embarassing#and now its half a year until i can see them again and act like an actual person#like the first part of thst is sad enough but the second really fucks me up right now#now im just the overexited tall fan that cant have a normal conversation with the band they love#and i hate it#and everyone else whose pictures i saw also looks happy but they all seem normal and not like theyd run away immediately#and i saw so many people just talk to them normally (i also saw people be just as exited as me but my brain doesnt want to register that rn)#my brain is currently going back through the entire time i was around them and looking for mistakes i made and theres a lot of them#like i could have asked how mattis voice survives the screaming or when he asked if i was dutch i could have said i study there#because he said he wanted to talk to dutch people and i guess thst includes people living there (?)#and i could have just not run away lmao#or stared at him without saying anything#i wish i could just go to the next concert and fix it but i cant#i have to wait until march#and its really fucking good thst i can see them again but i hate that itd half a year until then#ill be 20 wtf#and tbh i have no idea if theyre used to people acting the way i did and tbh i hope they dont because i was SO awkwarf#lmao if anyone read all this shit pls tell me im worrying about nothing lol#i hope i can stop worrying about that shit and start being happy i met them again#because that concert was so fucking good
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