#that doesn't mean he doesn't wear a mask like everyone else does
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follfoxes · 2 years ago
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The Dramarama wiki states that Noah cared more about his lack of positive traits than our current Noah does...like, way more. But like, what if Current!Noah cares more than he lets on? Everyone has insecurities, it's just part of being human.
I wouldn't be surprised if he buries all his inner demons under a nigh-impenetrable shell of sarcasm and dry wit that only certain people get to peak under...and even they don't get to see everything.
Well, now I kinda wanna see him reach his breaking point...how he'd get there is another question.
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lordofdestructionm · 8 days ago
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Did anyone else feel like Jax was trying to reach out more to the others in this episode?
Before Gangle freaks him out a little with the threat of a punishment he is his usual jerk self
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Then he tries to have a very casual and relaxed conversation with Zooble about the situation. No sarcasm and no mean comments.
He tries to downplay the earlier threat, and seems to want them to agree with him that Caine wouldn't actually do anything that bad
Of course Zooble out of everyone in the group has the least patience for Jax so he doesn't get any reassurance from them
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Then just before Gangle send him off for his employee training/Clockwork orange torture session, he responds to Gangle's manic behaviour with the comment "I like you better when your sad"
That could just be him being mean and saying that he likes it better when she's like that because its easier to pick on her and stops her standing up to him
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But considering he always goes out of his way to break the Comedy Mask at every opportunity, it could be that he simply prefers when she is her authentic self, and not putting on some fake act (a lesson gangle herself seems to learn at the end when she rips off the new mask and smiles despite wearing the Tragedy mask)
Plus look at his face when he's saying it. He isn't grinning or making any other mocking expression, he just looks tired
Then when has encounters drunk Ragatha he asks her if she can move, despite the fact that he could easily walk over her with those long legs, and he does exactly that a moment later. Was he being polite? Or was he asking her literally if she could still move her body in the state she was in?
Either way he get another little blow when the nicest person in the group says outright she hates him
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Then he tries to do with Pomni what he attempted with Zooble earlier, have a relaxed casual conversation about things without any signs of sarcasm of mean teasing.
Pomni herself is even taken aback and doesn't know what to make of it, suspecting probably that he is trying to trick her in some way. Again Jax's previous mean behaviour is now a barrier stopping him from connecting with the others even when he actually wants to
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He makes one last effort to pretend everything is normal and get back to his usual persona, but the second he is out the door and out of sight of everyone, the frustration and despair are clear
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When Gooseworx said that people who want to see Jax "get worse" will "enjoy what they have planned", maybe they didn't mean he would get more evil, maybe they meant his mental health would start sinking as the bully/prankster persona he hides behind starts to break down
Maybe he is starting to realize how isolated he is making himself
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scivors · 3 months ago
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Andre Nikto head canons
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We have little information about Niko but here's what I've gathered..
((Also I'd like to kindly add, hi, hello, my name is Mika and I am a Bosnian. The chances of me adding some accurate slav head canons are always high but never low!!🙏🏻 ALSO IM TERRIBLY OBSESSED WITH NIKTO SO IF ENJOY THIS AND YOU WANT DATING NIKTO HEAD CANONS PLEASE LET ME KNOWWW))
Genuine head canons:
Andre Nikto (Никто) is a (scary) Russian military man, roughly 193/194 centimetres (when you compare him to Simon's height) He suffers with acute dissociative disorder (better said DID) yet is still serving the military cause of how he preforms during battle.., so the military still views him as a ideal soldier for combat despite his disorder..
No hate but from what I've seen in some art works claiming it's his "face reveal" you people have to understand that under his mask, his face is disfigured.. so, no he won't be an attractive super model under that mask of his..
I don't think you people are aware how badass Nikto is as a character, almost SIMILAR as Ghost who's in the military for the same reason as everybody else, to risk their life.
Although judging by Nikto's voice lines, he doesn't care who he's killing..if it were up to him, if his teammates serve him zero purpose he'd care less if they die..(after all, you're just a target..) but being a professional, he can't allow that to happen to his teammates
If you look up closely, Nikto wears a military uniform that is different from everyone else with MP-0 written on it. Now if you don't know, MP stands for Military Police (enforcement agencies connected with, or part of, the military of a state.) and zero next to it meaning "nothing" and this is important which is what Nikto refers himself as..
Yeah so about that..
I have a theory about Nikto's nickname
After being captured and brutally tortured with whatever sick tendency mister Z had in store for him. It was Mister Z that couldn't really get much Information about Andre.
They would start torturing him while repeating to Andre that he's nothing, he's no one, what he is is nothing but what he is is everything. Those words play in the back of his head and they never seen to go away.
(This is extremely relevant cause Mister Z tried to get to know a bit of Andre by looking through some research come to find his citizenship and language are censored making him a nobody. Keep in mind, if he found any information about Andre viewing from personal life etc. it will be used as blackmail..)
After recovering his scars and taken to therapy after 7 years he was diagnosed with DID
NOW moving on to the DID part
(What I said about the fact that people overlook Nikto's disorder, I mean it..
Some don't really write about his disorder which is fine but when someone does it gets messy. )
Alters aren't easy to deal with, it's actually gonna haunt you till the day that you die cause there's no cure for it. And in Nikto's case it's from PTSD and Nikto is very aware of his alters..
Let me tell you how Nikto's disorder affects him. Switching can be consensual, forced or triggered, Nikto values silence as much as the next person cause he's dealing with much inside his head already. The kind of guy that would "watch TV" while dissociating with a 100 yard glare with very slow blinking and a slight headache..
There are times where his personalities would correct him when hes referring to himself (example: I'm up..(his personality correctes him) WE'RE up..)
"He made us do this" (and other voice lines I can't recall..)
Maybe cut bits of an apple with a knife and eat it while watching TV..
He has medication prescribed for him but he didn't wanna depend on medications cause they're just drugs..they're nothing to him but just drugs..
He has dissociative amnesia too, sometimes he would wander around confused maybe even annoyed. The amnesia appears to be caused by traumatic or stressful experiences endured or witnessed..Although the forgotten information may be inaccessible to consciousness, it sometimes continues to influence behavior
Like I said he likes quiet people, someone who doesn't waste their air on small talk..
Example; don't really talk to him about the weather, unless you have something interesting to say but if the conversation is gonna go nowhere , don't talk..he finds that a waste of time
People assume just because he's Russian that he likes vodka, he doesn't like vodka...-He doesn't like any alcoholic beverage cause it makes his problems a lot worse,...maybe If you were lending him some as an offering, he'll take it but he has SOME self control, he's okay with coffee, though..
It's relevant cause he stays awake at late hours since he finds it difficult to sleep, he'll stay up late with no music, nothing, just a silent room. It doesn't matter if he tries the military tactic where you just close your eyes and turn off your thoughts, it's very different when you have voices screaming inside your head...
Despite everything he's still intelligent, so being smart + strength + sharp reflexes and you got yourself a criminal
Death doesn't phase him, but to him death is like sleeping, he's not scared of death considering that he's been through hell those past few months.
He likes the simple things, don't complicate anything..because he's quick with catching an attitude..be blunt and forward and stumble over your words..
Nikto shows confidence in the battlefield,just like König, except he has a high rush of adrenaline and will laugh at the enemies death.
Fun fact: in this one comic Price calls Nikto "psycho"
And it's without a doubt that he is one.., a sadistic, sociopathic, psychopath
After splitting, his alters can and will get more aggressive and do more harm and damage to others cause they're doing the most at protecting the host.. (depending on the alter, some wanna protect him while some wanna hurt him)
Oh by the way about the intelligence part, I mean he has a good good memory with remembering faces..
He doesn't like people looking at him funny, he'll get angry really fast and annoyed at the same time.., he won't show hesitation when it comes to approaching you and asking you what are you looking at (it's like trying to avoid eye contact with a homeless man Infront of a store, that's how scared you would be)
He's slow with jokes or any form of humor that you throw at him??? You'll be excited to tell him a joke, and when you do he just looks at you and tells you never to do that again..,or just straight up tell you he doesn't get it...??? and probably trying to explain it either he gets it or not he'll still tell you that it's not funny
He doesn't argue, or he does? Arguing with him will costs you avoiding getting objects thrown at you so you can get out of his sight..tragic, now you have a teammate that hates your guts and won't apologize for it.
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literaila · 11 months ago
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house rules (roommate au)
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary:
"satoru keeps an infinite amount of space between him and everyone else."
warnings: mentions of alcohol and drinking, slight angst, mentions of tampons (terrifying), suggestive comments, absurdly long, alternate universe characters
a/n: to all of my frequent readers--i have never claimed to be sane :)
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*
in the broad spectrum of things, opening the door in nothing but your bathrobe and a ridiculously bright orange clay mask is not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you. 
oh no, puking on your first ever date at seventeen definitely takes the cake. finding your seventh-grade friends bent over a table reading your diary--in which you wrote many explicit things about them, not to mention, yourself--might be even worse. riding your bike into the pond by your house in front of all of your--much older, much cooler--neighbors, even. picking up your coffee in your favorite cafe and spilling it, which was not only devastating but humiliating because you managed to spill your mocha on every other drink waiting there (effectively banning you from returning) still haunts your dreams. even walking down the street and trying to pretend like you didn't just trip over air in front of every single one of your peers still lingers in your mind, waiting for a moment of peace before it attacks.
you're used to the feeling of dread in your stomach and the nights spent thinking about all of these moments, like a scrapbook in your mind--just there to make your skin itch. 
but, it does get a little bit worse when you realize the man you've opened the door to is none other than a potential roommate; and when you remember that you forgot he was coming. 
or when you have to pull your robe tighter around your abdomen just to make sure that you don't give this man a show before you even shake his hand. 
"is this apartment 214?" he asks, looking right at you--and your legs, naturally--with a confused grin on his face, but grin nonetheless. 
so immediately you slam the door. 
you turn around, with wide eyes, face crackling from the movement, and check your phone frantically. yes, it is the 18th, and yes it is 11:32, which means he was supposed to be here over a half-an-hour ago. 
and also you've just slammed the door in his--satoru gojo, the only person who's even bothered to respond to your ad about an available room--face. 
oh, fuck. 
so you groan, refraining from knocking your head against the door just in case he can still hear, and open it again. a little bit less this time. 
"gojo?" you ask, voice rough and slightly irritated. 
"the one and only. i'm pretty sure this is the right apartment," he says, and you don't fail to notice his tone of voice as he continues, "but if it's not, then fate must've brought us together."
you narrow your eyes, hoping that he doesn't notice the specks of dust that ebb from your skin. "you're late." 
"and you're less than dressed." 
"i thought you stood me up." 
he snorts. "so you started an impromptu spa day? or was this supposed to be another perk of the apartment?" 
you glower, opening the door a bit more just so he can see the fury in your eyes. "i don't think someone who doesn't even text to cancel has any right to judge my self-care practices." 
"i didn't cancel. i'm here." 
"you're late." 
"so i've heard..." he drawls. 
you blink at him, and he blinks back--or at least, you're assuming. because he's wearing sunglasses even though it's cloudy outside. 
and he's aggressively taller than you. he might not even fit through the door. 
you don't look away, waiting for him to break. which he does because you're well-practiced in men of his standard. "so, are you going to let me in?" he asks. 
"are you going to apologize for being late?" 
"i'm sorry that i'm late," he says, immediately, with an air of fake sincerity. "i got stuck in traffic. i would've called, but my phone died." 
"really?" 
the smile reappears, as if from magic. "no, but did it make you want to let me in?" 
you glare even harder--which is tough, honestly--and begin to shut the door. until your plan is interrupted by a foot. "excuse you," you say, to this man, who you already hate. and his stupid chelsea boots.
"look, i'm sorry. i'm trying to ease the tension--because honestly i wasn't expecting to get an eyeful this early in the morning, and you seem uncomfortable--" 
you slam the door against his foot again. 
gojo doesn't even wince. "and also, you're, like, the only person with a room in the middle of october. and i... could really use a place to put my bed. so, can i look around, at least? i'll keep my eyes closed every time i'm facing your direction. i can even give you my rent money today if it works out."  
something in his voice already implies that it will. 
and, well. despite your very short robe and your very dry face mask, he is the only person who's even inquired about the room. and you desperately need a roommate; someone to clean up with, someone to make coffee for, someone to argue about toilet paper direction with, and, most importantly, someone who has money and can keep you from getting evicted from the only place you've lived since high school. 
so you sigh. think about moving back home and suffering at the will of your parents. 
it takes about three seconds to say, "will you wait out here while i get dressed?" 
an eyebrow peeks out from behind the sunglasses, as white as his hair. "how long?" 
"ten minutes. maybe twenty." 
"do you have a chair?" he asks and moves his foot from the door. 
and so you close it without answering and rush to your room to find something that's still clean. 
there's nothing that you'll actually wear, but satoru gojo doesn't deserve your fresh appearance anyway. he can have day-old wrinkled jeans and a t-shirt you got when you were twelve. 
as slow as humanly possible, you remove the face mask, trying to keep your hair out of the way, and think about putting on makeup--which you probably would have done, had you remembered he was even coming--but decide not to. 
in reality, it only takes about seven minutes for you to look mostly presentable and get rid of the mugs you left cluttered around the dining room table. 
but you wait an extra four, just to mess with him. 
and then, eleven minutes later, you open the door again to the man leaning against the wall, playing what looks like candy crush on his phone. 
you attempt a fake smile. 
"hey," he says, with that same grin, "you have clothes." 
you drop your face. "i will close this." 
he isn't phased, just pockets his phone and leans in to look behind you at the entryway. 
you roll your eyes, but open the door anyway, and usher him in. he rubs his feet against your welcome mat and toys with a keychain you have hanging from a coat rack, then looks to you, like he's waiting for a tour. which, you guess, he is.
"there's only two rooms, one bath. it's not very big, so if you need a lot of space..." 
"i can manage," he says, and follows you as you walk into the kitchen. "did you decorate?" 
"um... sort of." 
"sort of?" 
"i, uh, had a roommate before and he bought most of the decorations before i moved in. but i've added a few things. i'm not picky about aesthetics." 
gojo hums. "why'd he move out?" 
"we were together and he cheated on me," you say, flatly, as you have been for the past month and a half. "and then told me i couldn't use his netflix account anymore after i broke up with him." 
gojo merely blinks and gestures toward the wall behind you. "so you didn't buy that dancing frog thing?" 
you turn around, rolling your eyes. "no. i forgot that was there." 
"okay, good, 'cause that's hideous." 
you snort, but nod your head and walk down the hallway. gojo's footsteps follow you as you open the door to his potential bedroom. "it's the bigger of the two," you tell him, "but the bathroom is next to mine." 
"did you change rooms?" 
"what?" 
"when your ex moved out. why take the smaller one?" 
"oh," you rub a finger against the wall, rubbing dust off of it. "it was his room before we got together. and then we shared my current room. this was his man... den?" you try, shaking your head. "gaming room? slaughterhouse?" 
gojo snorts. 
"what?" 
"oh, nothing," he says, airy like he's teasing you. "just curious."
you step back so he can walk around, check the carpets for stains, or look for drywall you could've hidden a body behind. but he doesn't, only watches you as you furrow your brows. 
"you're not going to look around?" 
"it looks like the pictures." 
"yeah, but what if there are, like, bugs in the carpet? blood on the walls?" 
"are there bugs in the carpet?" he asks. "blood on the walls?" 
"not that i know of..." 
"great, then it's perfect," he says, and steps out of the room again, whistling as he goes. 
this time, you follow him, like he's the one giving the tour. 
he pauses at the door a couple of feet down. "this your room?" 
"yes." 
"can i see?" 
you scowl. "no. what do you mean 'it's perfect?'"
"i mean, i'd like to live here. it's nice. besides the frog." 
you lean against the wall, trying to inspect him for any mechanical parts. is this a ploy? some joke? "you've barely been here five minutes." 
"twenty with all the time i waited outside..." 
"you can't just take one look and say 'yup, this is good.'" 
"can't you?" he asks, challenging. 
"no." 
gojo's grin seems to widen, impossibly. "well, i'm not picky." 
and somehow you doubt that. 
but you don't get the chance to tell him that, or anything else, because he leans against the wall, still smiling at you, and asks, "so, are we roommates now?" 
"you haven't even seen the lease. or heard about the house rules." 
"house rules?" he repeats, dubiously. like you're making this up (which you are). 
"yes." 
"such as?" 
"no..." you pause, 'cause this is a fickle argument. something about his stupid smile makes you want to argue with him. or maybe it's the hair. or the sunglasses. "murdering anyone in the apartment." 
he laughs, unexpectedly, and sighs. "well, i guess i'll take my murdering someplace else." 
"and... you can't leave any utensils in the sink." 
"okay." 
"and i'm not cleaning up any beard shavings, or sharing my tampons with you, or any people you have over." 
"these are very extensive," he says, unserious. "anything else?" 
"i..." your brows furrow. "no hogging the bathroom. hot water is fickle. and you have to recycle." 
"it might be challenging, but we'll figure it out." 
"these are not negotiable." 
he only continues to smile at you. 
eventually, after staring back with a frown that feels slightly permanent for more than a minute, you sigh again. at least you won't have to worry about moving out. 
"fine. you still want to live here?" 
"mmhmm." 
"okay," and you stick your hand out for him to shake like this is a business transaction. 
and it seems that you'll be seeing a lot more of that grin in the future. 
*
living with satoru gojo is not... well, it's not hard. he's a normal enough roommate. 
he pays his rent on time and doesn't touch the coffee you make in the morning most days--coughing when he does. he man spreads on the couch and watches movies way too loud and doesn't hang his bag up at the door, preferring to, instead, set it on the counter like a maniac. he whistles when he walks, and wears his stupid sunglasses 80% of the time, and grins at you when you're irritated, and, honestly, he's not really half bad. 
he doesn't leave any huge messes for you to clean up (mostly because he doesn't use the kitchen or the dining table ever). he doesn't invite people over that keep you up all night (because he's gone most nights). and, actually, he keeps the bathroom quite clean (even if he takes up well more than half of the shower space with his weird face creams and deep conditioning treatments). 
but satoru gojo is hard. 
it's not what he does, but rather who he is. with his infuriating good looks--taking up most of the fair share for the rest of the population--and his subtle charm, which, if you didn't know who he was, might actually work on you, and his morning voice and his messy hair and just the way he lives. 
like breathing is just what he's supposed to be doing. like he doesn't need to worry about a thing because nothing should matter if he decides he doesn't want it to. 
so easygoing and naturally intuitive and far too exhausting for you. 
because, as a fatal flaw of your own, you love to mess with him. somedays you'll hope he shows up just so you have someone to fight with. just so you'll be irritated instead of stressed, frustrated instead of exhausted. 
it's kind of addicting, in a way. and masochistic, but you've never claimed to be completely sane. 
and honestly, gojo's just asking for it. 
after a mere month of living with his aura around, you come to expect his cockiness. you live to take him down a notch.
so when he's up this early in the morning, whistling like it's his god-given right, you scowl at him just as he enters the room. 
"woah," he says, sliding on a bar stool in front of you. "starting early this morning?" 
"you're banned from talking to me until noon." 
"is this about the ice cream i ate? cause there was only a little left..." 
"no it's--" you pause, frowning at him. "you ate my ice cream?" 
he lays his entire torso on the counter, pathetically. "i was dying, okay? low blood sugar was going to kill me, and i couldn't see anything else but that ice cream and it wasn't even very good anyway, so, really, i was saving you from having to endure the rest of it." 
"you ate my ice cream?" you repeat. 
"i'll buy you more. a better kind. and then you'll understand that i was doing you a favor." 
"i might kill you." 
"i thought we banned homicide from the apartment." 
"i was going to eat that," you whine, shoving his hands away from trying to grab your mug. 
he smiles, too bright for so early in the morning. "yesterday you told me sweets weren't an appropriate breakfast." 
you scoff. "yeah, cause that's all you eat. you need a green smoothie or something in the morning just to keep your heart beating for the rest of the day."
"my heart beats very well, thank you. wanna feel?" 
you roll your eyes and sigh into your mug. "i'll be expecting three pints of ice cream as an apology later tonight." 
gojo has already moved on, typing away on his phone, probably to some groupies he manipulated into loving him. "i can't. it's flip night at laurent's tonight, and suguru has already threatened me into coming." 
"why did you say laurent's like i'm supposed to know what you mean?" 
"laurent's," he repeats, looking at you.
you blink. 
"the bar?" he questions, like you're crazy. 
"okay, sorry, i don't exclusively hang out at bars filled with frat boys." 
"it's very sophisticated,” he corrects, his frat boy nature very obvious. “i mean, i frequent there." 
you laugh. 
"clearly you've never been." 
"i'm still expecting ice cream." 
he sits back in his chair. "i have class all day." 
"like you've never skipped a class." 
"encouraging ditching?" he asks, mock appalled. "what kind of roommate are you?" 
"the kind that doesn't steal her roommate's food. just get one of your servants to pick it up.”
gojo waves a hand at you, and that statement, apparently. and then he types another thing into his phone—to said servants you assume—and grins again. his face must’ve missed the feeling. "how about i buy you a drink instead? you can come with me tonight. meet my friends. maybe make some of your own." 
"haha," you cross your arms. "if they're as bad as you, then i'm good." 
"you'd probably love them. they also like to torment me, even though i'm pretty and perfectly nice to them." 
"i seriously doubt that." 
his eyes--oh, yes, this early in the morning he skips the sunglasses--sparkle like gems. "i have to play wingman for suguru, but it probably won't take long. you can mingle. meet someone. i think you could use a way to relieve some of that stress." 
"oh, you mean the stress that you cause?" 
gojo grins and you realize that you've fallen into his trap. "i'm willing to help out whenever you like," he says, deviously, "you just haven't asked yet, sweetheart." 
"nor ever will," you grind out.
gojo hums and taps his fingers against the countertop. the two of you stare at each other, grin matching scowl, and eventually, he loses the contest. "so, can i plan to steal you away from eternal solitude at six?" he asks.
and just because he's right--in his weird, satoru gojo way--you nod. it might be nice to get out of the house; and meet people other than the lost freshman at work. and because you know that gojo will continue to bother you about it otherwise. he’s a very difficult person.
as if proving it, he grins all pleased with himself, so you add, "but you're buying all of my drinks." before he can get too ahead of himself. 
*
it's not nearly loud enough in this bar. as soon as you walk in, you're sure of it. 
because even with a band up on the stage, singing about loving someone or money or drugs, you can still hear gojo as he flirts with every single living thing in his twenty-foot vicinity. 
he's got his grin on, styled his hair all fancy, and his clothes are signature in the way that you've probably seen him wear the same thing fifty times. maybe in a row. 
but the people in this bar don't care. no, they flirt back like they already know who satoru gojo is. and maybe they do. 
you don't really care, but you do have to drag him along so he can show you where you're supposed to sit and tell you the names of his friends before you get drunk enough to forget. 
it takes three minutes of trailing after gojo like a lost puppy to remember that you hate going out. that you hate everything about your so-called roommate and you should've shoved his invitation down the drain along with him. 
as if gojo can hear this thought, he peeks over his shoulder, smirking at you. "enjoying the view?" he asks, and you try to trip him by stepping on his heel. 
unfortunately, he only swings around, walking backward through the crowd like it's going to part for him. 
oh, wait. it does. 
you frown at him. 
"what? you don't like the music?" he pouts because that would personally offend him, of course. 
"where are we going? i think we've passed that table four times already." 
"i have to say hi," he says like this is obvious. "it's rude to just walk into some place without greeting everyone." 
"do you own this bar?" 
"what? no." 
"then find your friends so we can sit down," you grumble, trying not to lose him in the sea of people. it's unlikely that you've ever seen a bar this packed. more like a club, honestly, but you wouldn't put it past gojo to lie. 
eventually, he does lead you to a table, announcing, with a flourish. "don't worry, everyone, i'm here," while he bows--because of course he does. "and," he adds, "i brought a stowaway." 
you peek around his shoulder to meet three people, all staring at him with the same unamused expression. one, suguru--from the many photo albums and 'trips down memory lane' gojo has bombarded you with--gives you a little wave. the other two just continue to stare at gojo. 
"everyone, this is y/n, my favorite roommate. y/n, that one is suguru," he says, pointing towards him, "which you already know. the short one is shoko, and the blonde one is--" 
"nanami," you cut in, "hey." 
gojo frowns, looking between the two of you. "you know each other?" 
"we have analytics together," you answer, sliding in to sit across them, next to gojo, naturally. "i usually cheat off of his notes." 
"she gets me coffee," nanami adds, like this information is imperative. 
gojo grins again. "why didn't you say anything nanamin?" 
"because i didn't realize." 
"who else could i have been talking about? do you know several pretty girls named y/n? you a player?" 
nanami has a very familiar frown on his face, and is about to say something when suguru seems to kick gojo under the table. "satoru, i told you to stop referring to other people as 'players.'"
gojo merely rolls his eyes. "can't fight the truth," he says.
you almost smile. almost. but your eyes drift over to shoko, who sighs. "how'd you get stuck with this one?" she asks, not harsh, but not quite soft. 
"he promised me alcohol." 
she nods knowingly. 
speaking of, you turn towards him. "you and i both know there's only one reason i'm here." 
gojo flicks your forehead, but stands up. "i'll be right back," he says, "don't miss me too much." 
and you all watch as he walks away, conveniently stopping at least four times to talk to several different people. 
you groan. "he's not coming back is he?" 
"he will," suguru says, not quite reassuringly. "probably. in an hour or so." 
you cover your eyes with your hands and listen as the three of them laugh at you. 
*
it probably is an hour or two later that you see gojo again. 
you'd fallen into smooth conversation with his friends, talking about classes, and dancing, and the fact that you all shared a common enemy. it was easy enough, talking to them, like ripples in a pond. but surely if gojo had stuck around, it would've been more of a tsunami. you could see the appeal--at least for someone like your roommate. they all seemed responsible enough. 
but shoko, after a twenty-second lull in conversation, decided she was better off drinking at home, and nanami quickly agreed. watching them, compared to gojo, disappear into the crowd was a different experience. 
you bite your cheek unnervingly, wondering if it made you a bad roommate to want to let gojo suffer here alone and walk home by himself. 
suguru pats you on the shoulder when he stands up a moment later, brushing his pants. "i'll go find satoru," he says, softly. you feel that same irritation when you realize that gojo had probably lied to you about coming here for suguru. it was almost infinitely more times likely that suguru had come here for him. "do you want me to tell him you went home?" 
"how likely is it that he'll go home with someone else and it won't matter if i wait for him anyway?" 
the dark-haired man considers this with a sly grin on his face. "if i tell him you left, he'll find someone to cling to. but if you're here he'll go home with you. probably drunk, though." 
you run a hand through your hair, waving him off. "it's fine. i'll wait, then. but tell him that the homicide clause doesn't apply to outside the apartment." 
suguru laughs, not questioning this, and walks away. 
you sit there, toying with a glass someone had left behind, watching the people around you dance like it really was a club. with absolutely no one watching. not even god, evidently.
as usual, gojo lied--even though you hadn't really believed him when he said this place was sophisticated. the clear air of stale beer and vomit is enough to prove that.
you almost laugh bitterly, but then a mop of white hair appears in the chair next to you, and his grin is wider, larger than you'd remembered. 
how long had that taken? 
"hello hello, roomie," he sings, leaning close to you. he moves his chair, shuffling across the floor so that he's near enough to touch. "i heard you were threatening me again." 
"you could hear that over the sighs of your fan club?" 
gojo giggles, like he's in on the joke. his breath falls on your face. "i like it when you tell me you're going to murder me, you know." 
"of course you do. how much did you drink?" 
"it's not the quantity," he whispers, "it's the quality." 
"your friends told me you could get drunk off of hand sanitizer." 
gojo leans back, his long legs knocking against yours. "are they spreading those rumors again?"
you kick his foot away from yours but don't say anything. his eyes seem somehow wider right now, even behind his dark shades. almost like you could see them. 
you blink, and gojo does it back. his lashes fluttering just enough to tell.
it almost makes you smile. laugh a little bit at his innocence--especially right now, when he's clearly not himself--some more unperturbed version of who he normally is (if that's even possible). he probably wouldn't even remember if you did laugh at him. but you refrain anyway. 
gojo gasps suddenly. "oh! let's go to the store. you want ice cream, right?" his elbow slides onto the table as he rests his chin on a hand. 
you kick his foot again. "i wanted a drink," you correct, "but apparently you got distracted." 
"'s not my fault," he almost slurs, sadly. 
"are you ready to go home?" 
"i'm ready to leave. so we can get your ice cream. want to share a spoon?" his grin is unabashed. you could tell him that he is a vile, disgusting creature right now and he would probably agree. 
you don't, for whatever reason. 
"i don't think anywhere's open, and i don't want to drag you around while you're this drunk." 
he taps your thigh with a finger. "hey. i'll have you know that i am a very proficient walker." 
"oh, really?" 
"learned when i was a kid and everything." 
"wow, gojo, i'm very impressed," you deadpan, and look around. "do you need to say goodbye to suguru?" 
he frowns. then points to himself. "gojo," he repeats, and into the crowd, "suguru." 
like he's an actual toddler.
you shake your head and stand up, still looking. "can you text him?" 
"i guess," he mumbles, getting out his phone and almost dropping it. he frowns like this is deeply upsetting. 
so you grab it from him. "what's your passcode?" 
"one one one one." you look at him with a brow raised. "cause i'm number one," he answers, pridefully. 
you scoff, but look through his texts anyway, and tell suguru that you're taking him home--and never ever coming out with him again--and then hand it back to gojo. 
he smiles at you. you roll your eyes. 
then he grabs your hand, and begins to pull. "c'mon before they find us," he says, and it doesn't make any sense. 
but were you really expecting it to? 
*
perhaps the aftermath of drunk gojo is even more entertaining than the actual thing. 
shoko hadn't been kidding when she said he was the worst drunk--and even worse when hungover. 
how do you know this? oh, because you woke up at one in the afternoon--perfectly respectable for a saturday--and as soon as you dared to even open your door gojo was already groaning about the noise. so you slam it a little as you leave. 
there's a grunt, like a dying cat, and two minutes later he is walking into the kitchen with slits for eyes and cotton for hair. you're not sure what he's wearing--some video game shirt--but it's wrinkled enough to match your roommate's appearance. disheveled and slightly peeved, he's almost glaring at you--like he's capable of such a thing.
you try not to laugh. 
"where's the bacon?" he asks, almost slipping off of the counter as he leans on it. his hands rubbing at his eyes. 
"sorry?" 
"wheres the bacon?" he repeats, his voice a different register this morning. "i need emergency bacon." 
"so make some. there's a pan and probably a package in the fridge." 
he whines, falling against the counter again. his natural habitat. "i can't make it, i'm dying. you really want your terminally ill roommate to cook for himself?" 
"i want my overdramatic roommate to act like an adult for a change." 
he blows a raspberry, and his face is hidden beneath the tile of your table. you can only see his hair, which looks surprisingly soft for his state. 
"did you lose some pigment in your hair?" 
gojo snaps up, immediately, gasping. he pulls a strand so he can look at it, blinking rapidly. his panic quickly fades, and he blows the strand out of his eyes. "it's just dirty." 
"from what?" 
"i forgot to buy new bedsheets," he grumbles, once again hiding his face. 
"your bedsheets are dying your hair?" you ask, with a raised brow. 
"they're dirty," he repeats, rolling his eyes as he sits up. "i need to go to the store." 
"um..." you look at him as he slumps against his own body, feeling greatly concerned for his survival abilities. "you buy new bedsheets?" you confirm, "instead of washing them?" 
he waves a hand, blowing you, and your clearly audaious sentence away. "bacon," he says, flatly. 
you roll your eyes. "pan," you point, "stove." 
gojo looks like he might start crying.
and it might be his state or the fact that you don't think you've ever seen him like this--in the month you've known him--all lost and confused and a little bit ruffled at the edges. gojo's snark is usually in its top form when you see him in the morning. 
so, just this once, you grab a pan, and turn on the burner. 
"i'll be expecting payment for my time," you say, as you grab the bacon from the fridge. 
and maybe you get your first real smile from your roommate. 
*
you're lying on the couch reading a book when he appears, swarming like a fly. 
"hello, roommate," he says, uncharacteristically pleasant, and then he sits on your legs. you try to kick him, but it proves futile because apparently he's a giant, so you wiggle your way out from under him and sit up, frowning. 
"don't you have a room?" you ask. 
"i could ask you the same thing," gojo tries to tickle your feet, but you move them away before he can. your frown turns into more of a glare. "what?" he asks, "we can't hang out?" 
"no." 
gojo pouts. "but we're roommates," he says as if it's an explanation. like being roommates binds your souls and forever intertwines the two of you. 
"we are roommates because i had an extra room and you had money. that doesn't seem like thrilling grounds for friendship." 
"well, how about the fact that i let you use my hair dryer the other day?" he lays down on the other side of the couch, smirking at you. "that's a friendly thing to do." 
"that's the polite thing to do. i'm trying to train you. speaking of which..." you point towards the floor, "down boy." 
he takes off his sunglasses, throwing them on the coffee table--which probably explains the broken mug pieces you found in the trash the other day--and lays back with his arms behind his head. his eyes are closed. "i can't be trained." 
"clearly." 
you sigh and relax in your corner of the couch, picking up your book again. his presence lurks like a nightmare, but, you figure, eventually, he'll get bored. 
you just can't entertain him. it's like the advice you'd give to a kid being bullied: they only care about your reaction... 
as if proving your point, after twenty-seven seconds of silence, he opens one eye, peeking at you. "whatcha reading?" 
"a book." 
he plucks it right out of your hands, inspecting the cover. how he got across the couch in 0.2 seconds, you don't know. 
"what is this?" he asks, snickering a little. "word porn?" 
you take it back. "it's called romance, gojo. not that i'd expect you to be familiar with anything of the sort." 
he smirks, laying back down. "i have references if you need proof." 
you shake your head, flipping him off, and continue to scan the words on your page without retaining any information. 
seriously, his presence is impending doom itself. 
"it's okay," he whispers, "you don't need to be embarrassed. everyone craves intimacy." 
"i crave my fist on your face." 
he snorts. "that's not very friendly." 
you sigh, dropping the book again so you can look at him and his obnoxious eyes. "look, i'm tired, it's been a long week, and if you don't leave me alone i'll probably lock you outside." 
"probably?" 
"it's that or throwing you out the window." 
gojo laughs once again, but mimes zipping his mouth shut. you roll your eyes and open your book again. your feet are entwined, but you don't mock this--if only because you're sure that gojo will start an argument about it.
the quiet lasts for two minutes and then he turns on the tv. 
you groan and he laughs at you.
*
you're getting used to having him around, at least. and in turn, his friends. because they seem to be a package deal. 
after that night at the bar, gojo--apparently--feels much more comfortable having them over. trying to bake cookies with shoko or interrupting what's supposed to be a study session between the four of them. 
at least, you think, watching this happen, that you're not the only person forced to endure him. 
but it's kind of... nice to see him act like a normal person, for once. to get teased by someone other than you and pout like a begrudged younger brother. the person who invites his friends over for game night (getting aggressively angry every time he loses) isn't satoru gojo, the man whom everyone is drawn to. he isn't some drunk guy charming everyone around him or a roommate that you just happened upon. 
he's just another college student, laughing along with people who aren't nearly as bad as him. 
and, naturally, you find yourself intertwined with these 'hang-outs' because the apartment is small, and you don't want to be left out--no, you choose not to think about how pathetic it is that satoru gojo has more friends than you do, so please don't bring it up. 
and it's on this night when you're not playing uno with the four of them, but rather, watching behind all of their backs and trying to mess with gojo as much as possible. 
you pretend to be idly cleaning in the kitchen, when really you're standing behind him, mouthing to suguru what color he has whenever he's about to win. 
"hmm," the sly-mouthed man says this time, "green." 
shoko puts down a seven, and gojo groans again. "seriously?" he asks, but begins drawing cards. 
you try--and fail--not to giggle behind him. to which, of course, he turns around with an obvious glare in his eyes. "what are you doing?" 
the sink isn't on, and there are no dishes to be seen in the kitchen. nonetheless, you point uselessly to the roll of paper towels on the counter. "cleaning." 
"you're cleaning air?" 
"sorry, i didn't realize i was banned from loitering in my own home." 
he turns back around, looking at suguru for a moment, then back at you. it's very hard to keep the smile off of your face, especially when nanami looks like he's about to break and shoko is pretending to rifle through her cards again. 
how many times have you done this to him? oh, just a mere eight. 
to be fair, it would've ended a long time ago if gojo wasn't such a sore loser. 
he looks back and forth once more. then he frowns. "what are you doing?" 
"do you want me to go hide in my room, gojo?" you ask, trying to scowl. "because i will. i was just trying to be hospitable--" 
"nanamin," he interrupts. "go." 
so another round of cards is placed, and this time suguru plays normally, keeping his face straight to not draw any suspicion. you lean against the wall, enjoying yourself. 
(don't tell anyone, but this is the most fun you've had in a while). 
and then, after a couple of rounds go by, you finally clear your throat. gojo turns to glare at you through his sunglasses and says "go stand behind suguru if you're going to watch. i don't trust you." 
you raise your brows but do as he says. 
and when shoko has to draw the next time, you smile and tap a couple of times on your thigh. 
suguru does his best impression of gojo's grin, and says, "draw four," to shoko. 
she smiles back. turns to gojo. "draw four," she repeats. 
and he stares at the two of them, then the cards stacked on top of each other, and then to you, right across him. "what are you doing? i know you're doing something." 
"satoru, she's just watching--" 
"no, she's smiling." he looks back to you, "you're smiling. you don't do that unless i'm in pain." 
"so you just assume that you're losing cause i'm... what? drawing your cards for you? shuffling the stack so only you get the bad hands?" you cock a brow at him, willing yourself not to look at anyone else at the table. it would only end in disaster. 
"i--" gojo runs a hand through his hair. then he sighs and begins drawing his eight cards. 
and several rounds later--with gojo losing once again--you've begun moving around the table like you're inspecting each player. gojo doesn't let you look at his cards though. 
and it takes a while before he notices anything. particularly after suguru wins for the third time in a row. 
he looks at everyone--brows pulled together, irritated eyes hiding behind his sunglasses, and his cheeks are flushed from how frustrated he is--and as soon as you start laughing at his face, everyone else does too. suguru throws his cards down and shakes his head. nanami shuffles the deck while trying to keep his laugh muffled--but it's there. and shoko is outwardly laughing at him, pointing at gojo and then at you. 
"are you guys stealing the cards?" he asks, almost disbelieving, his voice so childlike that you start laughing even harder. "look at the deck! it's half the size that it was." 
and then he's standing up and inspecting you, sticking his hands up your sleeves and finding dozens of cards hiding there, falling onto the floor. 
gojo gasps in outrage, but it doesn't even matter to you. 
everyone else is clutching their stomachs and gojo begins to pout. "you're all traitors," he's saying, and "how long have you been doing that?" and you almost can't breathe-- 
so yeah. you don't really mind these kinds of nights. and you don't complain about the messes gojo and his friends leave behind. 
*
you shouldn't have given suguru your number. this much is obvious. 
but, to be fair, you weren't exactly thinking when you were talking to him about a self-help book you'd picked up, and he was mentioning a podcast, and then he was taking your phone and putting himself in it--which, in itself, should not be dangerous--telling you that he'd send you a link and that you should let him know if you liked it, and that was that. 
and really, there shouldn't be any repercussions to this. suguru is your sort of friend, and sort of friends can text on occasion. 
except for the fact that he's also satoru gojo's friend. so when you wake up at ten--silently thanking yourself for taking a day off before a week of back-to-back classes and work--he's already texted you, and it's obvious that you failed somewhere in life. 
maybe when you accidentally invited a demon into your house and allowed him to stay. 
from suguru :p : 
hey satoru is supposed to be in class right now and he won't answer me 
can you please kick him awake? 
but maybe it wasn't a mistake. because at least you have a good excuse to give gojo a bruise. 
so you creep down the hall, reluctantly knocking on his door even though it ruins the element of surprise (you're not a monster) and listening as there's no response. 
gojo must be asleep. or dead. honestly, you might've killed him in your sleep--wouldn't be the first time. 
so you peek the door open, realizing now that you haven't been in his room since he moved in, and watch as a figure slithers under the covers almost before you notice. gojo is completely covered except for the foot he's left hanging off of the side of the bed. 
"get up," you tell him, looking around at the sparse decorations he's put up. there are books, candy wrappers, and socks all over the floor, but it's not the messiest room you've ever seen. which is slightly surprising, considering all that you know about gojo. 
he whines from under the cover, turning so you get a view of exposed skin on his back. "sleeping," he says as if you might believe him. 
so you creep over trash and textbooks and pull the blanket right off of him. 
gojo is already looking at you, pouting. his hair is in his eyes and his mouth is puffy--probably from kissing his pillow in his sleep. "what if i was naked under here?" he asks you, very seriously. "i don't let just anyone see that, you know?" 
"you're wearing the same silk pajamas you wear every night." 
he tries to pull the blanket away from you, his fingers peeling yours away. he huffs. "it's the principle. you don't just wake a man up from slumber." 
you snort. "did you travel a century in your sleep?" 
"yes, now go away." and then he falls back into the blankets, his words muffled. 
"you have class, your highness. i've been sent to fetch you." 
one eye appears from under the blanket. "how do you know my schedule?" 
"telepathy. now get up." 
"i can't," gojo fake coughs. "i'm sick." 
"suguru said you'd say that." 
he groans, turning over and muffling a few explicit words that sound like a curse upon his best friend. 
you poke his back. "did you sleep through your alarm?" 
he doesn't answer. his body has gone limp like you might not notice that he's there if he stays still for long enough. so you pull his hair, turning his head towards you. "you're not usually this whiny in the morning," you tell him. 
"why are you so mean to me?" 
you hum, pretending to consider it. "i think it's the hair. i find it pretentious." 
"i could sue you. discrimination is very serious. i've got a good lawyer, too."
"i'll sue back for mental damages." 
he laughs, and wiggles from your grasp. 
you sigh and finally sit down at the edge of his bed, observing the lollipops he's left lying on his bedside table. gojo's bones seem to crack as he sits up with you, moaning the whole way. 
you're silently observing him--with his slightly red eyes and heinous mouth. you're not used to seeing him like this in the morning; usually, he's chipper and annoying. when he walks into the kitchen in the morning you half expect him to start singing. 
but this gojo is tired. he rubs at his eyes. "did suguru text you?" 
"yup." 
"he's a terrible friend." 
you nudge him, almost like an agreement. "why aren't you in class?" 
"what's even the point of going? it's not like i get a reward."
"i think the reward is graduating, but you might have to fact-check that one." 
he nudges you back and then takes your hand. his fingertips are soft as they trace the tendons and veins he can see on your skin. his hands are softer than you'd have expected. his eyes are wary as they look towards the floor, his mouth twisting in displeasure. but he doesn't stop touching you, he does so idly that you almost don't notice. "i have an a in the class," he tells you, "and i already know most of the material so why would i go to every lecture?" 
maybe it's the way he says it; so sure and nonchalant, in his typical over-dramatic fashion. maybe it's just that he's never mentioned any of his classes to you, or the fact that he's taking any. maybe he's just crazy--that's the most likely option--but you're suddenly curious. 
"what class is it?" 
"theoretical physics." 
you whistle, shaking your head. "and you already know most of it?" 
gojo drops your hand and looks at you. his eyes are wide. maybe he's just realized that he's been talking to you this whole time. "when i was a kid my, uh, my dad had a bunch of textbooks in his office that i used to read through every time i got in trouble," he grins, "which was a lot." 
"i can imagine." 
"well, it turns out you can only read something so many times before it becomes ingrained in your brain." 
you pull at his bedsheet. "do you have a test today, or something?" 
"no, suguru just thinks i'm lazy." 
you laugh, because he is. gojo rolls his eyes at you so you don't say it. you're a little bit surprised, actually. you knew that gojo wasn't stupid (or at least, you might've known) but there's something about the proof of it. like you can't just read right through him. like maybe there's still more to learn about your roommate and maybe there always has been. 
or maybe you're just tired, and he's always had the strange ability to draw irrationality out of you. and also he's an idiot.
"i just..." he starts and his smile fades, but only a little bit. he keeps a layer on while he peels a layer off. "i mean, i like the class. math is cool. but i just don't feel like it today, you know?" 
and there's something about his voice as he says it. steady and true, as always, but softer. but compeltely honest. 
and you've heard him complain about a million things, like every time you and suguru talk about something he doesn't understand or when the door isn't unlocked when he gets home, or when you won't add his one shirt to your laundry. you've heard every whine and every groan come from his lips. 
but he's not complaining about this. just confiding. 
and there's such a drastic difference that it takes you a moment to respond. 
but you do eventually. "yeah, i know," you tell him and rest a hand on his thigh to squeeze. 
and the way that gojo looks at you after--like you might just be saying it to make him feel better--is perplexing. his eyes are blue and maybe you've just noticed this--just started to realize that you're actually sitting with him like a normal person. and that he actually looks grateful. 
you shake your head, willing yourself to look away, because maybe there is something sort of magnetic about your roommate. and it feels impossible to only have noticed this now. to realize how warm he is next to you, and how your muscles tense up when he shifts. gojo is looking at you, and it might be the first time.
so you stand up, flicking his chin. "i'll tell suguru that you're puking your guts up." 
"really?" 
"yup. but next time you sleep through a class i'm going to wake you up by pouring ice water on your face." 
he grins. "cruel." 
"and i'll record it." 
you step over candy wrappers and dirty socks as you leave his room, and as soon as the door is closed you sigh in relief. you're probably better off never opening that door again.
*
it's a ridiculously cold night when he shows up. 
you're sitting at the front desk in the library, pretending to study for a mid-term, and trying to smile at the fifth lost library card you've heard about tonight. you got this job at the beginning of the year, and it pays horribly. but at least you can sit around and study, most weekends it's quiet enough to take a nap, and no one tends to bother you when you're drooling all over the reception desk. 
most weekends, that is, because as soon as he walks in through the door--letting in air so brisk that it has the potential to kill you--it gets significantly louder. 
because satoru gojo is not affected by trivial things such as snow, or blizzards, or the fact that the library is supposed to close in less than ten minutes... 
still, you don't really notice him--a rare circumstance that you will question later that night--until he's right next to you, breathing in your ear. 
"slacking on the clock?" he asks, and just for a moment, you almost disembowel him with the pen you're holding in your hand. 
but then you grunt, used to this sort of intrusion from your roommate, and push his head away. "how did you find me?" you ask him, because, honestly, this job is just an escape from his neverending antics at your house (no, it doesn't matter that you got the job before you knew that such an annoying person could possibly exist). 
"i microchipped you in your sleep," gojo says, smoothly, sitting in the chair right next to yours, swiveling around. "i thought i told you about that?" 
you blatantly look at the clock and ignore him. "you know that the library closes in seven minutes?" 
"...and?" 
"so go torment someone else," you answer, standing up with a stack of fileable papers, "i'm busy until eight." 
"i'll help," gojo says, eager as always, and takes half of your stack. "where to?" 
it is from two months of experience that you know he will not leave you alone. even if you chew off his fingernails and keep them to make into necklaces, gojo will follow you around as long as you make it clear you don't want him to. 
so you walk towards the copying room, smiling at all of the sleep-deprived students you pass by and rolling your eyes when gojo does the same. 
"how did you even find the library?" 
gojo walks like he has absolutely no equilibrium; knocking into you every couple of steps, and then falling in the other direction. it must be a consequence of all of his strenuous leaning. 
so he bumps into you as he replies, "tracker," like it's obvious. 
you snort. "no, seriously. i didn't think you knew that libraries existed. aren't you allergic to reading?" 
"hey!" he tries to trip you. "i'll have you know that i am very studious. top of my class." 
"that's why you pay suguru to write your papers for you, right?" 
gojo makes a small noise in the back of his throat. "he doesn't write them," he grumbles. "well, not all of them." 
you snort and open a door for him to follow through.
"my study group meets here on wednesdays," gojo answers, finally. 
"you're a part of a study group?" 
"where do you think i go all of the time?" 
you briefly consider this, setting the papers down. "cemeteries to mourn all of the people you've annoyed to death, probably. or your girlfriend's house." you shrug.
gojo sets his stack on top of yours, diligently lining them up. "i don't do that every night," he drawls, rolling his eyes. and then he winks at you. "and i don't have a girlfriend. thanks for asking." 
you mess up his stack and turn away from him. "sorry, i meant girlfriends as in plural. girlfriends." 
"nope, again." 
gojo follows closely behind you as you begin to lock up all of the spare rooms, turning off lights and looking for any lost items. "commitment issues?" you ask, fake sympathy clouding your voice. 
"sweetheart, if you want me, then just say that. you don't need to pretend to worry about anyone else." his cockiness is infuriating, but you don't even bother to scold him for it. you turn towards him with sharp eyes.
"do i seem worried to you?" 
"no, but you're a bad actor," gojo hums, fingertips grazing along your skin as he inspects your face. "denial is serious. you might want to see a doctor." 
"you would know," you answer, glaring and pulling away from him. the two of you walk as people begin to trek out of the library, no longer held captive by the idea of studying. 
gojo is much too close, as usual, his sweater brushing against yours. 
"how'd you even know i was here?" you ask him, after a minute of silence. 
"please," he answers, grinning down at you. "i got a PI as soon as you gave me my key." 
you squint. "did you actually?" 
he laughs. "no. you told shoko, and shoko told me..." 
you nod, clearing the desk of your things, tossing your bag at gojo for him to carry. "so why are you here?" 
he clears his throat, unplugging the cord to your computer and wrapping it around his hand. "i was walking by, and i thought i'd see if you wanted to come with me for drinks after your shift."
"drinks?" you repeat, taking the cord from his hands. 
"flip night." 
you groan. "i am never participating in that again after what happened last time." 
"it wasn't that bad." 
"i had to drag you home and you almost threw up in my hair." 
gojo smiles. "consider yourself lucky." 
you push him out of the way and put your coat on. then you turn off the lights and push in all of the chairs, gojo not helping at all. "i didn't even get my drink," you remind him. 
"okay, so let me make it up to you."
and his voice is a bit different. still arrogant, naturally, still smiling and easy--but maybe he means it? maybe beneath his, frankly, soft exterior, he feels bad for getting drunk before you could? maybe he's not actually a complete monster? 
you laugh that thought away as soon as it comes.
you sigh. "are your friends going to be there?" 
"yes, our friends are. they suggested i invite you." 
you sigh--again, because the air is quite thin when gojo is around--and consider it. for just four seconds. but eventually, you shake your head. "i can't," you tell him, looping your arm around his so you can drag him out of the building. 
"why not?" 
"i'm tired, and i still need to study for a test on monday..." 
"do it in the morning." 
you give him a blank look. "i won't want to study if i'm hungover." 
"then don't study." 
you let go of his arm, shivering from the cold. gojo, of course, is not wearing a jacket, or even a little bit bothered by the air. "you're a terrible influence." 
he grins. "i get it from you." 
you shake your head, keeping the smile off of your face. "maybe some other time? when it's not freezing, and i don't have a big test?" 
gojo looks like he wants to argue with you some more--which he usually does--but eventually, his grin ebbs into something simple and he nods. "okay, but you have to come next time i ask." 
"no. what if i'm sick, or something?" you definitely would not put it past him to ask you as a method of torture. 
"that's what alcohol is for." he sticks out his hand, too big and too sly. 
but you relent, shaking with him, and rolling your eyes.
"okay, gojo. have fun. do not wake me up when you get home." 
and you turn to walk away, but his hand catches your wrist. "what are you doing?" he asks, brow furrowed. 
"...going home?" 
he lets go of you and flicks your forehead. "you're not walking back by yourself," he says, like it's a crime. "c'mon." 
and he falls into pace with you, even with his longer legs and fervent energy. 
"this is stupid--" you start to complain, but gojo reaches for the strap of your bag, sliding it off of your shoulder. he then slings it on his own, and pulls you in a bit closer by the hem of your jacket. 
he doesn't say anything, just shoves your hand in his pocket, and whistles as he walks you home. 
*
its a couple of weeks later when you're standing at the door again, trying not to open it more than necessary. 
but, really, how wide is too wide? will a half-opened door signal any longing? will he think that you want him back if you open it more than three inches to pass him his box of stuff that he'd left behind and take your key back? 
how do you navigate the trade-off of a frog statue that will probably haunt your dreams till the end of time? 
"key," you say, without any pleasantries, not bothering to even really look at him. 
even though he looks just the same, your ex. still the lying cheater you'd almost fallen in love with. 
is it wrong to miss his netflix password more than him? 
"thanks," he says, and you've probably been standing there with him for thirty seconds when a head appears on your shoulder. 
white hair gets in your eyes, and you try to push gojo away, but he's already intruded on this exchange and you know he's not going to leave. 
"go away," you tell him, not very softly. 
"hello," gojo holds his hand out over your shoulder, because, again, he is ridiculously tall. "i'm--" 
"key," you say again, swatting his hand away. 
your ex looks at your new roommate--with all of his charm and irritating sunglasses and perfectly shaped teeth--with obvious disdain. you want to push both of them out the door and live here by yourself forever, but unfortunately, living prices disagree. 
so you grab the key from his hand, give him a bland smile, and slam the door with gojo's fingers still in between. 
he pulls them back just in time, still almost on top of you, and smiles when you turn around with a scowl. "a friend of yours?" he asks, slyly. he's about as subtle as a third-grader.
"no." 
he messes with your hair idly, pretending to fix it. "i noticed an obvious absence where our dancing frog used to be." 
"i told you, that's not mine." 
"so you gave it away?" 
you cross your arms. he is far too close to you. "you told me it was hideous." 
"it was," he nods, vehemently, and you know his eyes are grinning at you behind those dark shades. "but now there's an empty spot on that shelf." 
"we can put your tongue there when i cut it out," you give him an innocent smile and walk past him to sit on the couch. your pocket burns with the key you put there, metal like an obvious stain on your skin. 
it's not that you care about him anymore, really. you don't, not even when you lay alone at night and think about him. it's more that... he doesn't think about you. he didn't, and he wouldn't have, even if you were still together. 
is it wrong to be wanted by someone whose opinion is worth about as much to you as a penny you could or could not pick up on the street? should you crave being cared about by someone as awful as him?
you want to throw his key in bleach. maybe take a dip yourself.
gojo follows you, throwing himself down on the couch, and brushing you as he does so. he is very used to this kind of proximity, and the annoyed look you give him. "so that was your ex?" 
"yes." 
there's a brief pause, and a nice person might leave it like that. might try to console you, tell you better off. but satoru gojo is not nice, and he probably never has been. "really?" he asks. then clicks his tongue. 
you interrupt whatever obnoxious statement is supposed to follow: "if you're about to say that there are a lot of more eligible bachelors, including yourself, then i'm going to say that you should probably make a zillow account." 
gojo pinches your thigh. "i would never say something like that." 
you look at him, just barely able to make out the shape of his eyes when he's this close. "you told me that last week when i was complaining about dating apps." 
"well, it was true then." 
you roll your eyes. 
"i wasn't going to say that anyway." 
you hum, relaxing into the hold his legs begin to have on yours. despite his abrupt and terrible personality, gojo is very warm. and he's already intruded into so much of your space--your home, your head--that it almost feels normal. 
with his thighs pushing against yours and his fingertips trailing up the back of your neck. 
you should slap him away, but you don't. 
the last person you cuddled with was the same man who gave you the greasy key in your pocket. 
you look at gojo with inquisitive eyes. "really? no bad pickup line? you were going to say something meaningful?" 
"would've blown your mind, but you interrupted..." he teases, and pulls on a strand of baby hair. 
"whatever will i do now?" 
his hand falls from your neck, and if you weren't as comfortable as you are currently, you might think about what he's doing. 
like the fact that you haven't even questioned this, or his following you around, or the fact that he knew you needed someone to pull you away from that door. 
you don't think about that, but maybe you should. 
still, his hand wraps around your shoulder, and you slump against him without question. 
"i was..." his voice is softer, calmer than you've maybe ever heard it. it should jolt you away from him. it should do anything but keep you planted on the couch right next to him. "i was just going to say that i'm glad he's an idiot." 
"getting turned on by my pain?" 
he laughs. "no, but, i mean, your pain my gain." 
you don't even notice it when he slips off his glasses, his fingers curling around your forearm. 
"where else would i find a roommate that threatens me with bodily harm?" he asks, right in your ear. 
it's true enough, you guess. and at least for a moment, you don't want to rip off his arms. 
and gojo mutters something that sounds like "stupid," but you aren't listening.
*
gojo has called in your agreement; that is the only reason you're sitting at the bar, watching him dance around with shoko--purposefully stepping on her toes--and sipping on some drink he ordered for you.
it's terribly sweet and reminds you of lotion but you drink it anyway. it's not like you bought it, and you're sure that gojo wont buy you anything else until finish it. plus it's giving you a light buzz, just enough to feel comfortable sitting there, and not like you want to run away.
it's not as busy as it was last time, the music slightly quieter, the air in the room less stiff. gojo seems less energized tonight--considering that he hasn't abandoned any of you to talk to the houseplant in the corner--even with the dancing. 
which he is terrible at. it's like watching an eight-month-old learn how to stand. or a man trying to impress absolutely no one. his limbs move like they aren't even attached to his body.
"is he drunk?" you're asking suguru and nanami--who have been sitting there longer than you have. "i didn't see him order anything." 
nanami laughs and suguru ruffles your hair. "that's satoru completely sober." 
"...are you sure?" 
"yeah, he doesn't usually drink. even that," he nods to your drink which you're sipping with a wince, "is too bitter for him." 
you raise a brow, watching shoko frown at him, and then nudge him away. "he drank last time i came, though?" 
suguru nods, looking away like he knows something you don't and nanami snorts.
"what?" 
"he was nervous last time," nanami answers. he's got less than a smile on, but it's better than the frowns you've observed sitting next to him in class. 
your brow furrows. "about what?" 
suguru is about to answer, nudging nanami not very subtly, when the very topic of conversation pops up, bumping into you as he squeezes himself in between you and suguru. his presence is an interruption in itself, but he's smiling like he always does, acting like he's been there the whole time. 
you might've pushed him away a week or two ago. now you just sigh and move a little so he can fit.
"did you miss me, sweetheart?" he asks you, leaning against suguru. "don't worry, i'll dance with you next."
"no, and i don't dance." 
gojo rolls his eyes. "everyone dances." 
you look pointedly between him and the group of people dancing in the middle of the room. an image of him almost tripping over shoko makes you smile. "well some people shouldn't." 
suguru laughs and gojo grins even wider at you--his hair is slightly sweaty and his eyes are peering at you over the glasses sitting on the edge of his nose. "let's test that theory," he says, taking a step back. his tone is nothing less than suggestive. and his fingers wiggle towards you, beckoning for you to follow.
there's a twinge in your stomach and you adjust in your seat, frowning at him. "i told you that i don't dance." 
"well, i do. and you owe me for last time." 
you balk. "owe you for what? making sure you didn't get murdered on the street?" 
gojo pouts, his face so unserious and completely genuine at the same time. "you made me dance all alone. you didn't even come watch." 
"you left me--" 
"just one dance?" he asks, leaning in towards you. his eyes are sparkling. "i'll get you another drink." 
"you'll get me that anyway." 
"i'll let you pick it this time." 
"that's usually expected, you know?" 
he ignores that, "c'mon," he pleads, "you know that you want to." 
"i don't know that, actually." 
and then someone coughs behind gojo and you realize that your friends have been listening to this entire interaction and that you'd completely forgotten they were there. how long has he been standing like that? just two inches away from your face? 
"just go, y/n," shoko says, "put the rest of us out of our misery. i've been listening to him whine all night." 
"hey--" gojo turns, his voice defensive. 
but you take another sip of your drink, sighing as you stand up. "fine," you tell him, rolling your eyes when he turns to you with a smile. "one dance, and you can't ask me for anything else tonight." 
his teeth are like rows of knives. sharp and inviting. "okay." 
he holds his hand out for you again, and you take it, feeling that strange pull in the pit of your stomach. 
it's probably just the alcohol, though. 
*
you don't know how long you've been dancing with gojo. 
it started with one dance where he didn't do anything except twirl you around and sway with you, like he'd accepted the fact that you weren't exactly light on your feet, singing along to the music in your ear, making snide remarks about where you'd placed your hands. moving them like pieces on a chess board.
his breath was hot on your ear. condensation on a glass. 
and then you'd gradually moved to letting him lead you, after who knows how many songs, following his steps and not apologizing when your foot slammed against his, or when you bumped shoulders with him, probably creating marks on your skin. 
and then his hands were on your hips, his chin resting against your shoulder, and it felt almost nice to be dancing with him. almost relaxing to forget momentarily about where you were and who you were with. it shouldn't surprise you that you're comfortable with him, but it does. there's no worry about the way you're looking at him or if anyone is watching the two of you--but then again, you might be slightly drunk. 
gojo hasn't commented on how long the two of you have been dancing, and evidently, you've let the alcohol sway you into staying for more than just another song. 
so now, with his lips on your ear, you're almost smiling into him. your heart is fast, and the adrenaline rush you're experiencing is a pleasant thing; if someone ripped out your heart right you wouldn't even notice.
"see?" gojo says, his voice just a murmur with all of the music swimming in your ears. "you're not so bad." 
it sounds like something else to you.
"you won't be saying that in the morning," you tell him, stepping on his toes, but he doesn't pull back or move too quickly. if you thought rationally about his movements you might notice that everything he's doing is slow; like you're an animal he's trying not to scare. 
"i'm used to it," he pulls back a little bit. "shoko does that too." 
"'cause you deserve it." 
he laughs and leans in, so you follow him. 
are you just swaying now? or is he leading you in something more complex? a dance you've never heard of, or a simple in and out? 
you don't know, and you really don't care. 
after a moment, you sigh. "i've never danced with anyone before," you whisper to him, almost like not saying the words at all. it might be a lie, you're not quite sure. 
your words are just thoughts now with no sort of intervention between your brain and your mouth. intoxication fills your lungs. 
"really?" 
"mhm," you hum, "no one's ever asked me." 
"i don't believe you," his voice might be teasing, or serious, or he might be barking at you.
you laugh anyway. gojo's hands are firm against your skin. he feels kind of hazy, like a dream. so you laugh again. 
"you okay?" 
"i think i might be a little drunk." 
he snorts, his breath short. "really? i didn't think you'd be a lightweight." 
"you're a lightweight." 
"yeah, but you already knew that. i only drink when we come here, anyway. nanami doesn't like having to drag me home." 
"you're heavy," you agree, looking up at him. you can see his eyelashes from under his glasses. you can see his tongue as he moves it, and the tip of his nose. you can almost feel it when he swallows.
"sorry," he teases. his face looks different under these lights. it looks different when you're looking at him this close. 
"you're kinda pretty," the words fall from your mouth as you think them, and you grin. "huh." 
it shouldn't be an odd realization, but it is. his skin is almost translucent, and his mouth is sinful. his eyes are wide and bright and satoru gojo could be a sculpture if he wasn't a man.
gojo looks down at you, his brows raised. "you just noticed?" 
"i don't look at you a lot." 
"oh, please," he shakes his head. "i've caught you staring." 
"i only stare when i'm worried that you're a robot planted by aliens or something. you say weird things." 
he laughs, and his hands squeeze your waist. he could stab you in the back right now and it wouldn't even matter. you're not even worried about it. he could flirt with you all night and you don't think you'd quite mind.
you giggle at the thought, heart beating fast with every breath that comes from him. 
"what?" 
"you're not a bad roommate, you know?" you ask him, but maybe you're asking yourself.
"i'm not?" 
"no. you're actually... kinda considerate. my old roommate--my ex--he never wanted to go anywhere with me. he wouldn't have asked me to dance." 
"why not?" 
"i think he thought i was stuck up. or embarassing. or not worth it," you breathe, almost airly, the words are true but they don't matter to you. not like this, pressed up against him. "i don't know." 
gojo's brow furrows. "how?" 
your brows furrow. "how what?" 
"how could he think you're not worth it?" he repeats, and you laugh back. because it's a joke.
"you'd have to ask him." 
"i don't think i'll ever be talking to him," he answers, voice rough. "it wouldn't be good for either of us. and i don't trust people with such terrible taste." 
you giggle at the thought of the frog sculpture, the disgusted look on gojo's face. you can almost see through him.
"you shouldn't," you answer, not even thinking.  
there's a moment where the room is quiet, everyone inhaling at the same time, and then exhaling. you feel like you fit here, somehow. like everything is moving at just the right place. this silence is a comforting feeling, the bubbles bursting in your stomach reiterating it. 
"hey," gojo says, interrupting that feeling. 
"what?" 
"you're a good roommate, too. you're not stuck up. or embarassing." 
"i'm not?" 
he smiles at you. "well, you're a little mean." 
you smile back. "only to you, satoru." 
his face drops, but you don't notice. you lean against his chest again, your eyes fluttering shut. if you were focused enough, you could feel his heartbeat. but you don't. and you don't watch as he swallows. as his voice falters, for only a single second.
but you do look at him when he says, "my friends like you." 
"they do?" 
he laughs, pushing his sunglasses back up on his face. "wasn't it obvious?" 
you shake your head. you're not sure how long you've been standing with him, or if it even matters. you're not even sure if you're still in the bar, or your bed, being covered with your blanket, tucked in by gentle hands. 
how long has it been now? 
"i like you too," gojo whispers, "just so you know." 
and you could be at home, with your roommate. you could be right next to him. it doesn't matter, because you only whisper, "good," and then it's all gone. 
*
when you wake up the next morning, gojo is already laughing at you. 
your headache is a curse. your mind is in shambles. and your body aches with the manipulation of only one person. 
you hate your roommate and his terrible taste in drinks and that he doesn't even say anything when you slump against the counter, not even bothering to make fun of you or complain about how terrible you are when you're drunk. 
he just smiles easily, ruffling your hair.  
and when he starts to cook some bacon in the pan, you don't say anything, but you go and stand next to him, letting him hold you up. 
there are no words. only the popping of oil in a pan. 
and that feeling, of course. because it wasn't the alcohol. 
*
so maybe satoru gojo is your friend. you will not admit this to anyone aloud, but you concede a little bit in your head, because it's a fragile place there, and you're a terrible liar. 
and so maybe you hang out with him sometimes. 
it's not just the game nights or study sessions anymore. you sit on the couch and play with your phone and he sits down next to you. he'll rub your feet, or massage your legs and you let him. 
only because he's kinda good at it, of course. 
and sometimes you'll turn on a movie and he'll appear out of nowhere, complaining about whatever you picked, but laying down nonetheless. and after several minutes he'll move closer to you, resting his head on your thigh. and you might play with his hair, but only because it's unreasonably soft. 
and some mornings when you wake up and make yourself breakfast, not even trying to be quiet, you'll make a little extra. but it's not for him, it's just a coincidence. 
and he stops by the library on his way home from suguru's, or some girl's house, and the two of you will walk home together, talking about class, or the weather, or whatever gojo wants. you let him do this, because it's usually dark outside, and you don't like walking home alone. 
and if he barges into your room sometimes--obviously not knocking--you only complain a little bit. and then you let him lay in your bed and mess with your things. 
but only because it's the easier option, of course. 
and you've missed the feeling of having someone near. and satoru gojo is easy to be around. 
*
"gojo," you gasp, as soon as the door opens in your face. and then you scowl. "don't you knock?" 
he pushes you so he can move past, raising a brow at you. "i live here." his hands are empty, and he's not wearing a coat again. just a weird button-up probably more expensive than your share of the rent. how he's survived over two decades, you're not sure. 
your brows furrow at him. "well, you could give some warning if you're going to kick open the door. what if you broke my nose?" 
"well, why were you standing right in front of the door when i kicked it?" gojo mimics, flicking you away, then looking down to your hands where your wallet and keys are piled up. "you going somewhere?" 
"to the store." 
"it's eleven." 
"why thank you for that update, gojo. i really appreciate it," and then you move beside him to open the door. 
but gojo grabs your hand, making sure to roll his eyes at you where you can see it, and pulls you away so he can step in front of the door. "what could you need from the store right now?" 
"i need stuff." 
he crosses his arms, uncharacteristically stern. "like what?" 
"stuff. girl stuff. you wouldn't get it." 
he gasps, mouth dropping. "oh no, did i steal too many of your tampons again?" 
"first of all, that's against the apartment rules, so you better hope not. second of all, please move," you glare at him. "i need to hurry." 
"you can't leave right now." 
"i believe there's such a thing as free will..." you try and push him away, but he doesn't budge. "and you're not the boss of me." 
"it's too late for you to walk to the store. go tomorrow." 
you cross your arms. "when have i ever listened to you?" you ask him, feeling that familiar irritation crawl up your skin. 
but then gojo is pulling your arms apart and resting them at your sides and saying "stop that," as a gentle chide. and that irritation molds. you push his hands away. 
you want to push his hands off of the edge of the earth just so that he'll never touch you again.
"seriously, gojo, i need to go. they close at midnight." 
"you can't walk to the store by yourself in the dark." 
"i can do whatever i want." 
"then i'm locking you in your room until tomorrow. you're grounded." 
you poke his shoulder. you can't decide if he's serious or not. his voice is always teasing, and you can't see enough of his eyes. and you can't trust a single thing he says. "when did you become so overbearing?" you ask him, trying not to grind your teeth. 
"when i realized how weak you are." 
"weak?" you balk at him. "i'm not weak. please retract that sentence before i accidentally punch you." 
"you can't even push me away from the door. i'll take my chances with your fists." 
"that's because you're irritating me," you tell him, as you try to do it again. "anger distracts me." 
he laughs at you, leaning even further against the door. 
"gojo," you whine, trying to pinch him away instead. "stop being an ass. just get out of the way." 
he holds a hand to his chest, offended. "i am showing concern about your safety," he claims, shaking his head at you. 
"you are ruining my mood." 
"oh, good." 
you scowl. "move. right now." 
"that was very intimidating," he grins at you, "but maybe try again." 
you groan and try to stab him with your key, which he pushes away, still smiling, still completely the worst. 
"i--" you sigh, "i don't like you very much." 
he snorts. 
then you pout at him, fluttering your eyelashes. "please, gojo. i'll be back in fifteen minutes." 
"what is that?" 
you frown. "what?" 
"what's wrong with your face?" 
you throw your arms up, shaking your head. then you mutter another thing about hating him under your breath and finally turn away. you set your keys and your wallet on the counter, pouting as you sit down on the couch. 
gojo is there a moment later, laughing at you. "was that supposed to be convincing?" 
"don't talk to me. ever again." 
you shake your head, fed up with him and everything about this living situation. how are you locked in your apartment right now?
gojo tilts his head back, and then pauses for a moment.  
"then how am i supposed to ask if you want to come with me to the store?" he asks, nonchalantly. "i need some stuff." 
and you should be angry at him--you should probably break one of his fingers or cut his hair off in his sleep. you should tell him that you hate his company and that if he ever tells you what to do again-- 
but instead, you jump up from the couch, smiling at him. "let's go," you say, quickly, before you change your mind. 
and you don't get to see it when gojo smiles back at you, softly. 
*
"hey," he whispers, "you shouldn't sleep here." 
gojo is shaking your shoulder gently, his breath on your face, his voice soft--even in the haze of disrupted sleep. there's a warm feeling in your belly as he speaks to you, an unknowing smile on your face.
"hmm?" you answer, trying to remember who you are and why you're here. who he is.
"it's almost midnight. what are you doing on the couch?" gojo is helping you sit up. his hands are ridiculously warm, and you don't think about how nice they feel on the bare skin of your back. 
"gojo?" 
he laughs. "the one and only. c'mon, i'll tuck you in." 
"did you just get home?" you must still be sleeping, because his hands are so soft right now. and his voice is so quiet--like the creaking of an old house. 
"yeah. are you going to get up?" he's kneeling in front of you, and his face is bare. you almost want to laugh at how bright his hair is even in the dark. 
"where were you?" 
he shakes his head, smiling up at you, and moves from the floor. "c'mon, sit up," he beckons, trying to get you to move your head from its place. you wince. eventually, he gives up and your heart almost disappears when he picks you up, tapping your legs so that you'll wrap them around his waist. 
you do it, but only because you don't want to fall. 
"why are you so tall?" you complain as he carries you to your room, feeling much more awake when you're this high in the air. 
gojo snorts. "i'll take that as a thank you," he whispers in your ear and sets you on your bed. then he sits on the edge and takes your socks off, pulling the covers out from under you. his movements are slow as he covers every inch of skin he can see, his breath the only sound between the two of you. 
it's colder when his hands move, and he looks at you for a moment as if trying to make sure he's satisfied with his job. 
"are you going to make fun of me for this in the morning?" 
gojo grins, squeezing your leg as he stands up. "probably. but only a little." 
"okay," you yawn, blinking as he backs up towards the door. 
"night, sweetheart," he whispers to you, and then a flash of hair is all you see before your door is closed and you drift back to sleep. 
and in the morning you wake up and can't remember how you got in bed. gojo doesn't say a thing. 
*
satoru gojo can say so much without saying a single thing. 
when he burst into your room--surprising you because you hadn't realized he was home--throwing himself on your bed and mumbling something about hating his life, you didn't say a word. 
and he'd sat there for ten minutes while you typed out a paper on your laptop, glancing over to him every couple of minutes, slightly worried because he hadn't moved an inch. 
you've seen a lot of his moods recently. you've seen him excited about some movie you didn't understand, exhausted after a long day of classes, angry when suguru and you leave him out of a joke. but most of that, you assume, is just him being himself. every feeling he has is probably seven times larger than the average person's.
but now that he's groaning into your bed, you can tell, just from the way his body deflates, that there's something wrong. you could see it when he walked in the room, and felt it because he'd told you he was getting dinner with his parents tonight. 
but if you know one thing about him, it's that he won't talk about it if you ask. 
because after a couple of weeks of spending more and more time with him, you'd quickly realized that you didn't actually know much about his life. he doesn't tell any stories about his childhood, or high school years--minus the ones that he tried to suffocate suguru for letting slip. he doesn't mention his parents much, and when he does, it's nothing but the bare minimum. he mentions classes so offhandedly that you hadn't even known how extensive his studies were until suguru was teasing him about an award he'd gotten a couple of years ago. 
he could talk to you for hours on end, but he wouldn't say anything. 
so after realizing this, you'd resorted to asking suguru about it.
that night, gojo was asleep on the floor between your feet. his hand was under his head, and he was snoring loud enough for you to notice. you'd sat down to watch a movie with him after he'd claimed that you and suguru were losers for being tired at this hour and that he was the youngest of you all. 
suguru only smiled a little bit at your question.
"satoru keeps an infinite amount of space between him and everyone else," he'd said softly, into the warm air of your apartment. "even with me, and i've known him since we were kids. his family..." he trailed off, shaking his head.
you'd frowned. "what?" 
"he's always been too much for them, in a way. i mean, you know, he is too much most of the time. but he does all of it purposefully; the arrogance, the bravado. i don't know... i think he just wants to control whatever image everyone has of him. to the extent that his personality is based on pushing people away, just so he can figure out who's actually going to stick around." 
you'd watched him then, with his fluttering eyelashes--his sunglasses lying on the ground next to him--and his bright hair. the gentle movement of his lips as he dreamt. he was softer like this, less forceful, less of a burden, and more of a boy.
and beautiful, of course, but that's an offhanded thought you wouldn't acknowledge.
"so, he doesn't talk to you about--" the words felt wrong, and you almost felt guilty for talking about him like this, with his best friend. but still. "--important stuff?" 
"he talks to me about a lot of things. but, no, not really. i get a long-winded rant sometimes, but not often." 
"then how are you supposed to know anything about him?"
suguru smiled at you, looking between you and gojo like there was a secret he didn't want to tell. he sighed. "satoru doesn't really tell me any of the important stuff because we've known each other for so long. i understand how his family is because i've watched him deal with them. i can guess how he's feeling based on his expression. but for people he hasn't known as long, like you, getting to know him is like i-spy." 
suguru didn’t need to elaborate. you got it.
like trying to find little hints of him hidden between all of the mess. you'd snorted and agreed. 
and it feels even more true now, with him cowering in your blankets. but still, you say nothing. 
you get it, to a certain degree. vulnerability was one of the feelings you liked to push away; secrets were only supposed to be coveted by you. getting close to people was a dangerous thing, risky in its own way. 
but, thinking that gojo doesn't trust you--couldn't trust you... it's more irritating than it should be. and maybe that's just because you're arrogant, and think yourself to be trustworthy. or maybe it's because you trust him, in your own unique way, even with all of his too much and extremeness. 
you don't say that to him though, just like he doesn't say anything to you. 
"hey," you push him with a foot. "are you drooling on my comforter?" 
there's a moment of silence, then gojo rolls over. "not a lot." 
you roll your eyes at him and type another sentence--a collection of words that have nothing to do with the actual essay you're writing, naturally--waiting for him to say something else. 
and, predictably, he does. "why aren't you paying attention to me?" 
"i'm busy, gojo." 
"no, you're not." 
"i am doing homework." 
he looks up at you. his sunglasses are somewhere on your floor. "well, then you're definitely not busy," he grins. 
you swat away a hand that tries to steal your computer. 
"aren't you supposed to be at dinner?" you ask him, trying to seem like you don't care about the answer. 
he sighs again. "canceled." 
"why?" 
"my dad had a meeting or something." 
"oh." 
you let the silence wade for a minute or two, trying to be discreet when you watch his face for any signs of discontent. but gojo just has his eyes closed. his hands above his head. 
eventually, you nudge him again. "did you eat anything?" 
he shakes his head. 
"do you want me to make you something?" 
an eye opens. he turns over and rests his head on his hands, squinting at you. "are you being nice to me?" 
"not intentionally." 
he snorts, poking you, almost in awe. "you are." 
"i'm just trying to make sure you don't die, okay? who knows what you've eaten today." 
he crawls up your bed, sitting right next to you so he can rest his head on your shoulder. and you should push him off, but you don't. "it's okay. i'm not very hungry." 
"that's not what i asked." 
gojo laughs against you, his hair brushing against your neck. 
you shouldn't say anything more. you shouldn't even entertain him and his antics, and you shouldn't even care (but you do. for some, stupid, infuriating reason). 
so you look at him, and your voice is soft when you ask, "you okay?" to him, hoping that it doesn't seem too intrusive. wishing that you didn't actually care if he was or not.
gojo's eyes meet yours, and for a brief moment, you get that feeling again. 
that feeling in your stomach that makes you want to jump away from him. that makes your hands want to shake, and your voice fade. that feeling that you know--too well, too much--but can't get rid of. 
like an itch you're not really supposed to scratch. 
gojo swallows. "yeah," he answers, with no grin, no conceit. "i'm okay." 
and it shouldn't feel like a relief to hear, but it does. you nod, look away, and go back to your computer. back to your actual life, which shouldn't have any satoru gojo in it. 
but a minute later he adds: "i'd be better if you made me dinner, though." 
and you pull on his hair a little. you try to pretend like his smile doesn't fill you with butterflies. 
*
this shouldn't be happening. 
it's the only reasonable thought running through your brain at the moment. the only echo you can discern, the only words you can make out in the jumble of anxiety and horror running through your mind. 
he should not be this close. 
gojo had only picked you up from work once again, his easy smile meeting yours as soon as he walked through the door--you'd been waiting, wondering when he was going to show up. 
at seven-thirty he was there, letting in the cold air and sitting in the seat next to yours, complaining about the fact that you had a job that diverted your attention away from him while you rolled your eyes. 
he sat there for the half an hour remaining in your shift, distracting you. 
two months ago you would've kicked him out. would've called some make-believe security. 
but you just listened while he talked to you about space theories that didn't make any sense. 
and then he'd grabbed your bag for you, turning off the lights before you could, pushing in chairs while you organized the reception desk. 
and his hand grabbed yours before you thought to notice--swinging along while the two of you began the walk home. 
and halfway there, gojo stopped, looking up at something. "hey," he'd poked you. "look at the stars." 
you'd done it, begrudgingly, squinting. "i can count, like, three." 
"there's at least five." 
"why did you stop me to do this? it's cold." 
"because they look nice," he argues, looking down at you. "you have no eye for beauty." 
and, really, you might've agreed with him. you might've pushed him away from you and told him to hurry up and you might've not cared at all. 
but you could see his eyes, just a little bit, behind his sunglasses. and his smile was alabaster, and that feeling--that gasping for breath, trying to hold on to anything feeling--was there again. 
and it was poking you. like a push in some direction. like a laugh telling you that you were too afraid to do anything. 
you were looking at him. right at his face and the only thing you wanted to say was that he was wrong. 
he was wrong because at least you knew that he looked beautiful. 
but those words wouldn't leave your lips--that thought couldn't leave your head--so you were only staring at him. wishing that you'd never let him into your apartment and that he hadn't started becoming a person to you. 
it wasn't fair like this. 
"what?" he whispered, his smile dropping, like he could tell there was something wrong with you. like he knew you that well. 
if he'd kept on smiling, you wouldn't have done it. you wouldn't have pushed up on your toes and leaned into him, and you wouldn't have kissed him like you did. 
like you're doing. 
and it would've been fine because you never would've started this knowing that it would eventually have to stop. 
and even though it takes him less than a second to kiss you back--his lips molding to yours like an automatic reaction--you know that you shouldn't be doing this. 
that you can't be doing this. not with him. not like this. 
so when gojo's hands move to your waist, his breath even in your mouth, you push at his chest. and you want to run away. 
"i'm--" you swallow, trying not to taste him, the bubblegum flavor of him, and almost flinch away. "i'm sorry." 
gojo's mouth is frozen from where he stands two feet away. his hands are in the air like he doesn't know what to do with them. "you..." 
and you've never heard him speechless before. just the idea of it makes you blurt out whatever comes to mind. "i shouldn't have done that," you tell him, and, "i didn't mean to--i don't--" you shake your head. "sorry. i'm sorry. can we forget about this? can we get home because i'm really cold?" 
"you kissed me," gojo says, so simply. 
the words are another blow to your heart. you were hoping that he wouldn't have noticed. 
and wince and watch him, his face as it shifts, moving with each thought in his head. 
"gojo, i'm really--" 
"no," he interrupts, taking a step towards you. 
"what?" 
"that's not my name." 
you frown. "yes it is?" 
he shakes his head. "no, it's satoru. you've said it before, you know. you should keep saying it." 
"when have i said it?" you ask, momentarily blinded by how he demands this. who is he to demand anything? 
"when you were drunk." 
you scoff. "i'm not just going to call you by your first name cause you want me to," you tell him, "who do you think i am?" 
and then satoru laughs, shaking his head at you, his grin full-force on his face. "are you serious? you kissed me and now you don't want to call me by my first name?" 
you freeze. "i said i was sorry about that," you say, weakly. 
you feel like who you've always felt around him. not as easy, not as cool, never as smooth. you feel like a child caught doing something they're not supposed to. you want to run away from him, but he knows where you live. 
"you're sorry?" 
"i didn't mean to." 
he quirks a brow. "you didn't mean to?" 
"it was an accident?" 
he takes another step closer. "it was an accident?" 
"are you just going to keep repeating everything i say?" you ask, voice hard. this must be a dream. 
satoru shakes his head at you. "no, but i have a question." 
"...okay." 
"if i try to kiss you right now, are you going to try and murder me? i know that we're away from the apartment right now, but it would really ruin the mood." 
you stare at him. 
it must be answer enough because he steps forward and he kisses you again. but this time, it feels less mechanical. his lips are soft and smooth as they push against yours--and he pushes like he's demanding something from you. like he knows more about what you can give than you do. 
and he grins against you like he's doing everything exactly right. 
but when satoru pulls back, your eyes stay shut. you try and banish the feeling in your stomach from your body, but it doesn't respond to idle threats. 
"we shouldn't do this," you whisper to him. you don't open your eyes. you don't want to see his face and fall victim to another one of his schemes. 
"why not?" 
"the last time i kissed one of my roommates..." you imply, hoping that you don't have to tell him that you're scared. 
"oh, right," he brushes some hair from your face. he has not moved an inch away from you. "i forgot that you're experienced." 
"wasn't it obvious?" 
he laughs, and then nudges your cheek with a finger. "look at me." 
you shake your head. 
"c'mon, just a little." 
his voice is so soft. satoru is whispering like it's just for you. and you've never heard him like this and you don't think you want to see him. 
"please, sweetheart?" he asks, one last time, and you have to. if only to put yourself out of your own misery. "good. now listen--" 
"don't tell me what to do." 
he rolls his eyes. "listen," he repeats. "i know you don't like me very much. and i know that you only keep me around for my rent money and my pretty face--" 
you kinda want to hit him. 
"--but i've wanted to kiss you for weeks. and i'm not good at the..." he swallows, blinking just briefly. "all of the telling stuff, but i want to be. with you. for you." 
you're not sure if that's the end, or if it's the beginning. your eyes are stuck on his smile, and you're not listening to anything he said. 
he's very close right now. so accessible. and it's just another reason to want to push him away. 
satoru clears his throat, nudging your head with his nose. "and i'm tired of shoko and suguru calling me a coward, so it'd be great if you'd mention that you kissed me first." 
your brows furrow. "you told shoko and suguru?" 
"i didn't say anything," he almost swears. "they tricked me into admitting it." 
"when?" 
"...the day after i introduced you to them." 
you pull away to observe his face. "really?" 
he groans. "stop looking at me like that," he says, "it's mean." 
you almost smile at him again. then close your eyes. "okay."
"havent you listened to anything i've said to you?" he asks, rhetorically. "i flirt with you every day." 
"you flirt with everything." 
"mmm, true," he leans his chin against your head, breathing you in. "now that i've poured my heart out for you, can we go home? it's cold out here, and i'd rather make out on our couch than that bench over there." 
"who said anything about making out?" 
"please," he wraps an arm around your shoulder, and smiles down at you--with all of the typical swagger--and maybe this time you let him. 
*
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bones4thecats · 10 months ago
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Hi! I was wondering if you can do Poseidon X Goddess of music!Reader and the reader rarely come out of her house and if she does for example: when she goes to any meeting she always has this mask on:
and she always sits next to Poseidon for some reason she feels safe with him...?
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Thanks if you do this request!
<3
God of Music! S/O Feeling Protected
Type of Writing: Request Character: Poseidon Name: God of Music! S/O Feeling Protected Requester: @imperfectbloodmoon
A/N: These may not be the best thing I've ever written, but I'm trying my best to keep up with stuff from my classes and with these requests. But, I do hope you guys enjoy this!
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🔱 Alright, let's get one thing clear; Poseidon is a fairly oblivious man when it comes to emotions, which should be obvious
🔱 Poseidon was fairly wary when you first started to get close to him. He just isn't used to anyone trying to bond with him in any way, because many see him as a dangerous being
🔱 Which he technically is
🔱 Now, if you were a mortal or nymph, this guy would just push you aside and claim you to be a worthless being, not worthy of his time and patience
🔱 But, once he asked you who you were and you introduced yourself as the Deity of Music within the Greek Pantheon, working alongside that of Hermes and Apollo, he began to see you with more worth
🔱 Poseidon enjoys listening to your songs that you either sing or play on an instrument. He personally enjoys more slow and calming songs while he looks over his underwater kingdom
🔱 And he does enjoy your more reclusive nature, since he's not a very large people-person himself
🔱 He understands a lot more about you than anyone could realize, even yourself for that matter
🔱 But one thing he never fully understood was your need to wear that beautifully decorated mask that covered your entire face whenever you were to leave your shared home
🔱 Poseidon has claimed his love for both your personality and your looks often, though he's fairly monotone sounding, you can hear the amount of pulsing emotion underneath
🔱 Whenever he gets notice that one of his brothers is coming over, he tries to get you to keep the mask off; these are your family members, after all. They know how you look because they attended your wedding all those centuries ago
🔱 If you were to give him a good reason (such as; you didn't want Zeus to try protruding into your backside) then he would understand a bit better. But if you claimed you believed you didn't look good enough, he'd be beyond shocked
🔱 Like I mentioned earlier, Poseidon has claimed his love for both your personality and physical appearance. So the fact that you would still be insecure would make him feel the need to prove you were beyond good enough for a God like him
🔱 Okay, beyond the topic of the role and mask. He, like I also mentioned, doesn't understand emotions fully
🔱 Because of this, Poseidon is quite confused whenever you wanted to sit by him (before your relationship) at meetings, since normally everyone, deities included, were scared of him
🔱 Yet, every time you sat beside him, he never tried pushing you away, much to both of yours and everyone else's surprise
🔱 Despite his inability to understand why you personally wanted to be beside him, he does have quite a few hunches that many believe is true
🔱 One is that you wanted to be by someone who you knew wouldn't be to loud, the second is that you wanted to be closer to him, as he is in your pantheon, and his third one is that you wanted to be with somebody because you wanted to feel safer and protected from other Gods who may have bad intentions
🔱 Poseidon always mainly leans to the third one
🔱 After you guys started your relationship and got married, he started to have you sit right next to him. And by that, I mean by he'd have you sit either on his lap or right beside him
🔱 If I haven't mentioned it, he's possessive of what he deems to be his. Yes, he does allow you to be your own person, but he doesn't want anyone to get any ideas; specifically Zeus
🔱 He cannot keep his hands to himself, and that is coming from his own older brother!
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drdemonprince · 8 months ago
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The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.
When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)
That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.
To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.
I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?
So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.
Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.
What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.
Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.
I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.
I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.
Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)
But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.
Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)
Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.
Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.
Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.
I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.
It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .
And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.
It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.
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gl1tchr · 3 months ago
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Dano Riddler Is Actually A Very Standard Riddler He's Just Wearing A Freaky Mask
I'm gonna ramble here bc I bug the people of twitter way too much with my rants abt Dano Riddler. He is SUCH a good Riddler, he's just Handled very differently to others and I think to the average Riddler fan it's so alien to other interpretations, but he's actually. a VERY STANDARD RIDDLER in terms of his behavior. He's extremely self-centered, arrogant, and petulant. Yes he's suffered genuine trauma, but this absolutely doesn't excuse the fact that he's extremely uncharitable to others, does think himself Above everyone else, and doesn't care who he hurts. Other Riddlers have been abused by their own parents, bullied relentlessly in their youth, etc. and we obviously don't excuse their behavior for that, Dano Riddler is actually VERY CLEVER in painting his crusade as a populist revolution. He's a VERY dangerous Riddler because he recognizes that if he can silently concede some power/spotlight to others, he can gain even more attention and acclaim.
Edward is SO self-centered. He hides behind populist language to rally others to support him BECAUSE LIKE EVERY RIDDLER HE CRAVES ATTENTION AND OUTSIDE VALIDATION. He'll just never admit that. He'll paint this as rallying his troops, speaking for the people, but it's not. It's the exact same reason Riddler does the things he does in every other version - he wants people to SEE him. "Now they'll remember ME - they'll remember BOTH OF US". Your homework is rewatching the "Hey Guys" video but replacing all of his populist verbiage with I, Me, My, etc. instead of We, Us, etc.
"Oh but he puts himself down so often, how can he be arrogant" have you EVER met one of those really obnoxious guys who clearly thinks of himself as some amazing, wonderful dude and he's constantly like "ah I'm just lame, I'm a loser". It's that. His Actual perception of himself is someone who sees past all the "bullshit", and just because he genuinely did uncover corruption of Gotham, this doesn't make him some paragon of truth. He just happened to be in the right field of work to catch the funneling of funds through Renewal.
He also reminds me a LOT of Arkham Riddler the way he blows up on people. When he fusses at Colson for speaking over him, I was getting major Arkham Ed vibes. He stamps his feet and demands the game be played HIS way. Yes most of his breakdowns in the movie and comic are due to his trauma, but I also think a handful of them stem from him just being kind of immature. Specifically the Colson one, and the interrogation scene. I think those two specifically were not breakdowns, they were tantrums because things weren't going his way.
Dano Riddler gets a lot of guff for being a "sympathetically written" Riddler. He really isn't, people just find Paul Dano's performance very fun and he is - as we can all admit bc we are big boys and girls - very cute. But if he were maybe more off-putting, I think it would be clearer that he's actually a VERY standard Riddler, just in very unfamiliar packaging. And I think his evolution over the series is going to reveal more of his mean, bad natured behavior.
ramble over like and subscribe
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sciderman · 1 year ago
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Round boy + mask = square jaw
Pointy boy + mask = egg
Why?
wade's mask is masc. (hahaehehehahaeo...)
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wade does a lot to mask his soft interior – he worries a lot about appearing soft.
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he's GETTING SOFT (and peter loves it. he loves when wade gets soft.)
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underneath it all, wade's soft and round. no matter how he tries to hide it.
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wade is always hiding it – to way more extreme and destructive measures than peter, actually.
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it's kind of funny, wade's insistence that peter needs to be honest to himself - because wade's the poster boy. wade finds it difficult to be true to himself, because he doesn't even know which "self" is true at this point. he's constantly pretending to be someone or something else.
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something that'll please others. make him more palatable. more entertaining. make the audience side with him, even if he thinks he's undeserving. fake it till you make it.
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sometimes i think about how wade lost his virginity the night before he enlisted (because he was worried the guys would make fun of him if he was a virgin.)
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of course they made fun of him anyway.
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he doubles down - he puts on the macho air that everyone expects from him. he can be the bad boy. he can be the rugged antihero that is a total jerk but everyone loves anyway because he's the tough guy. it's why you'll never get to see what adult wade looked like pre-weapon X - you'll see wade in his teenage years - but once he enlists - that's not wade wilson. he's constantly playing a role. cool action hero, whatever'll get him the girl.
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it isn't until weapon X that he's forced into a position where he can't hide anymore. everything is on his skin. plain as day, for everyone to see.
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deadpool becomes the mask wade can hide all his damage and his insecurities behind because lord knows he can't hide a thing when he's out of it. like a lobster out of his shell. he's soft, and pink and tender. he couldn't survive without that hard red shell exterior, to make him look tough.
peter's mask is also masc, but his mask is peter parker.
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spider-man is kind of funny. in that – outwardly, it does look similar to deadpool's performative masculinity. he has "-man" in his name, for christ's sake - but - it's not, really. you wouldn't say spider-man is overly macho. even as much as peter insists it is - nobody buys it.
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you'd definitely, by all accounts, call peter parker the more masc aligned of the two - peter wears baggy clothes, he's kind of uptight, a little bit boring - and spider-man - spider-man's downright flamboyant - from his mannerisms, his jokes, and his tights. oh, and his fluttery little web-wings. he is fruity.
spider-man, in his tiny fruity little tights: YEAH. take a look at ME, girls. this is what true manhood looks like.
you might say the confidence it grants him is what makes him macho - but i think the fun thing about peter's gender journey is his embracal that actually - confidence isn't necessarily a masculine trait, and that - actually, his gender icons (save for uncle ben) are largely confident women.
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i think that's why olive is so dear to me - that peter's leaning into a confidence and self-assuredness that doesn't come from being conventionally masculine. and, in fact - peter parker might be so shy and insecure because he's trying to fit in a box that doesn't fit him.
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i think spider-man is more of a playground for peter. a place where he can experiment with his gender and his sexuality and the concept of "manhood" and what it means to him.
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he can explore, because the anonymity grants him less social pressure to fit in. society can despise spider-man, and yeah - it'll get him down, but the repercussions are relatively little. peter has to fit in, to survive. and, as peter parker, he's terrified of those repercussions.
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peter has such a desire to explore his identity and understand himself better - but, under safe, controlled conditions - whether that's under the anonymity of his mask or... or with people, who make him feel safe.
so, spider-man is peter's outlet to be fruity without repercussions. peter's og dragsona, actually. so – lithe, and curvy. he is so shape.
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autisticrosewilson · 2 months ago
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Put this in the discord forever ago but I'm thinking about it again so trans fem Robin Jay in an au where she has other relationships besides the bats!
Thinking about Robin Jay who hasn't figured it out yet because he JUST got somewhere safe, for a given value of safe, and he's just starting to figure out who he is when he's not in survival mode
And Bruce doesn't really notice, Dick isn't around enough to notice. But the other people around them?
Kids are far more perceptive than people give them credit for, the boys at school seem to know instinctively that there is something that sets him apart from them. Something more than background or wealth. It's something deeper in the way that Jason sits and the way he talks and subtle hints in the way he dresses. Things they don't even know they're picking up on really. And Jason doesn't know what it is, what he's doing that's putting him so at odds with everyone else.
He sees Diana for the first time on TV when he's too young to really comprehend superheroes and villains and the world they live in. And he thinks "wow, I want to be like that." And he meets her in person hiding behind the mask of a boy whose name he stole, and he thinks this is what it feels like to have a crush. To admire the way her hair falls and lipstick just slightly smudged and the skirt swishes around her thighs when she fights. He doesn't know yet what gender envy is, and for the moment he feels like a normal teenage boy. He's not sure how he feels about it.
But Diana notices and she sees the difference between the men that ogle her, he longing for something deeper than intimacy, the very parts that make her up and the loss at not having them himself. She has seen many girls like Robin, so she helps in the way she helps all her sisters. By training with her, making her into a warrior because girlhood is like a sword, sharp and made to spill the blood of enemies, to protect those who can't protect themselves.
Dinah clocks the new Robin immediately. She was a girl like that once, a girl who didn't yet know what she could be, what she could do. She does what her mother did for her, when she was still young and scruffy and sneakily trying to wear her mother's heels.
Jason has never worn fishnets before. It's new and a little embarrassing because he knows this is not something that boys do...but he doesn't hate it.
He really, really doesn't hate it. And it's not even that big of an addition to the Robin suit but he likes that it sets him apart from Dick. A way to make Robin his own without feeling like he's failing. He likes working with Black Canary, he likes learning from her. He likes that she lets him match with her. He keeps the fishnets, and the jacket, and the earring. But he doesn't wear them in Gotham because Bruce wants Robin and what Jason wants means little in the face of the legacy he has inherited.
Alfred notices before Bruce. Everyone notices before Bruce. He notices that Jason prefers sweet, floral scents to more masculine ones. He notices that Jason's favorite pants are the ones that are so baggy they look like a skirt when his legs are together. He notices that Jason always seems to wriggle his way out of getting haircuts. He doesn't know for sure. He doesn't really know what to do about it. So he calls in help, because it's important for a soldier to know when they need to call the cavalry.
Selina remembers the first time she did a trick in front of Jason, the way his eyes were glued to her heels. Maybe she shows off more than she needs to, but she rarely gets such an appreciative audience.
Jason asks her to teach him. He doesn't know why he asked that. It's silly, and childish, and he didn't even think about it until the words were out of his mouth. But she agrees! And he doesn't know where she got the heels from but they fit. And they're barely anything, just Mary Jane's with platforms like some of the girls at school wear, but he can't stop looking at them. They make him just a little taller, maybe the same height as other boys his age. And when he walks they make a satisfying little clack clack clack that makes him impossibly giddy. He wonders what it would be like to dance in them, what Bruce would say if he saw them, how the boys at school would react. If their gazes would trail his legs and stick to his thighs the way they do with the girls.
For all his detective skills, Dick doesn't figure it out until he's told. Jason was just supposed to be spending the weekend with them but he's spent most of his time hiding in his room or following Donna. He thinks maybe it's a blooming crush but when he suggests it she just looks at him, that placid little eyebrow raise that means she knows something he doesn't. She asks him when he will bring his sister back.
Jason watches the way Donna does her makeup, the perfect swoop of her eyeliner and the glittery highlight that brings out the curve of her nose. He watches when Kori puts on her fashion shows, the delicate straps over her strong shoulders and the way her skirt fans out when she twirls. He admires Ravens hair, the purple so dark it looks black until it's in the sunlight, long and thick and all the way down to her waist. He supposes he's not as subtle as he thought because the first time he tells her his real name she asks if he's sure. Of course, he'd told her then, not sure what she could mean.
It sticks with him though, a needling in the back of his head. Is he sure? He thought he was. His name doesn't sound right anymore, it seems to rot in his mouth when he introduces himself to people. It was the name his parents gave him, it's the only name he's ever had. He has Robin, but Robin is not his. The next time he visits his mother, when she finally has a grave to rest, he asks her what else she would have named him. The stone does not answer, but looking at the letters engraved on it gives him enough of an idea.
It takes time to work up the courage, even to himself. He only manages under the cover of darkness, safely locked in his room after patrol. He faces the mirror even though he can't see himself, it's better that way. Cathy he whispers, his voice soft and quickly swallowed by silence. It's not...right. but it's better. He does it again and he thinks he likes the sound, likes how light his voice is. She starts looking up names.
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crystalizedcryolite · 1 month ago
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While waiting for me to finally finish the next chapter..
DESIGN ANALYSIS FOR MY VIGILANTE AU >:D
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As always, let's start in rainbow order! But first things first; all CG members have matching eyes, in one way or another! Red has yellow eyes, Orange has green eyes, Yellow has orange eyes, Green has blue eyes, and Blue has red eyes!! I might change things depending on how it looks, though.
Anyway, Red!!
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I'll admit, I'm definitely giving him a design upgrade, but let's talk about this one.
Ah, the classic yellow bandanna. How could I leave it out? It's iconic!
His hair is definitely the wildest out of everyone's. A lot of black and grey in his design, too, which makes the yellow bits and the light-up shoes REALLY stand out.
The yellow matches his eyes and bandanna, and is reminiscent of that media trope with seeing yellow eyes peek from the darkness. The mask is, of course, to hide his face. Red didn't really seem like the guy to wear a visor like Green, or cover his entire face like Blue, so he gets that mask! Might change that, who knows.
His outfit looks thrown together with not that amount of effort. Very casual, as Green pointed out. Before Orange, he was the latest addition to the team, which can mean he can be a bit inexperienced. Wanted to convey that somehow!
Light-up shoes, oh, light-up shoes... who doesn't love them? Green certainly doesn't, but Red disagrees!
Next one!
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Orange/Sketch
Now, I didn't draw their vigilante outfit yet, but I added the description of it to give an idea!
I wanted her hair to give a very anime-protagonist feel, if that made sense? Not sure if I got that right but it works for me! And hey! Freckles!
Working clothes: His pants are covered in paint to give an artist-like feel. (I should know. I paint a lot and some of my clothes did NOT survive the process.) As for the top and apron, I wanted it to feel like an actual café worker's uniform without it being a basic starbucks rip-off.
Vigilante outfit: VERY reminiscent of outfits animated characters would wear in scenes where they're doing some graffiti on the streets. That was my main inspiration behind the design.
Also in dark colors. They have to blend into the darkness and stuff!
The pouch mentioned was for practical sake; as is something I like to do when thinking of designs. And it helps with the artistic urge to draw at any time, regardless of what the situation is.
Not much to say about Orange's design, besides the fact that I wanted to give it a very protagonist-y vibe.
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Yellow/Y
The second design is more or less his actual vigilante outfit, buuuut yeah!
Curly hair -despite my inability to draw it- and Yellow has been a favorite hc of mine!
His outfit is somewhat inspired by steampunk? Not exactly, but I DID have steampunk in mind while making it! The pilot's jacket was the best change yet.
Someone on a03 has told me that he looks like Alan, somehow! I'm not sure if I see it, so does anyone else see it? It would be a funny coincidence if so!
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Green/Songbird
His hair is my favorite part of my Green design so I HAD to keep it! The classic headphones are there with a gamer-ish colour scheme.
VERY hip-hop and streetdance inspired! His visor is a reference to the sunglasses Orange gave him in the "More Faces" short, rather than his sunglasses in the Influencer Arc.
His clothes are a reference to the clothes I see my sister wear for her own dance training, and I love streetwear in general, so its a perfect fit! The necklace is just for show, though. Nothing practical about that, but it does look cool! Plus, it's a notion to his powers! His outfit is practical, but still shows off somehow, just like Green!
My vigilante!Green is the most experienced in the group, so I wanted him to look that way, somehow? And he definitely looks the most professional! I think!
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Blue/The Witch
The second member to join the vigilante team!
I HAD to give her a hat. The witch's hat is a must. Practical? Not exactly. Cool? Yes, indeed.
The mask is my favorite part. A direct reference to the "Faces" short, AND a good way for Blue to, ahem, mask her identity (hehe a pun)
The sweater and coat combination seems strange, but it looks a little like a modern witch outfit? Trenchcoats definitely give a vigilante vibe in a way, and Yellow already had one, so Blue gets a belt and a sweater to go with it!
Blue definitely needed a bag for her potions. She can't just make them on the spot!- well, she can, but it would still be a hassle! She'd be the most practical when it comes to her clothing for vigilantism, after Yellow.
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Purple/Aeolus!
Obviously, the cloak is a reference to elytra. The green hairtie, the bag and the cloak buckle is a reference to their mother, Orchid. You can see the vines on the bag strap, the flowers on the bag and buckle, and the leaf-shape on the hairtie.
There's also a lot of green on them, wink wink ;3
To hide their identity, they cover a majority of their face with the cloak hood!
It was hard to balance the colors, but I'm happy with the results! This one is simple compared to the others, but its still cool nonetheless!
Purple was meant to have ripped jeans but my drawing ability to low, so... sorry, Purple.
AAAAND THAT'S ALL! Sorry if this seemed boring or disappointing, or whatnot. I tried my best!
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eccentricallygothic · 9 months ago
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for a fic idea: chris evans x reader going on a date to a carnival and then having a picnic
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Thank you so much for the ask/request! This is literally the first Chris as Chris piece I've ever written omg! I prefer to write requests in hc form so I hope you don't mind…? Hope you enjoy <3 
Disclaimer: For whatever it's worth, this is a fictional version of Chris hence fanFICTION because I don't know him in real life and I don't want to either so no silly talk from anyone, please <3
Warning(s): Fluff, kissing, rides, minor consensual groping, tickling, picnic.
Note: Reader is definitely gender-neutral. Requests are open. 
Chris definitely spoils. 
He's one of those boyfriends who tower over pretty much everyone else in the crowd and have to constantly move his broad shoulders around to avoid touching anyone else.
Holds your hand very tight in his bigger one.
Because he knows how upset you get if someone pushes you both apart as it has happened in the past, resulting in you almost getting lost and crying. 
Has to wear a cap to avoid being recognized so you prefer to hang near the areas where there's masquerades and the like so you can enjoy some privacy as well as freedom. 
Buys you basically everything you look at. 
He's definitely the kind of person who is always so excited about the rides that he drags his partner with him while promising them that he will be there with them and they can hold his hand. 
Isn't a lie, man protects you like it's his job. 
But has more embarrassing photos of you on said rides than you'd like to admit. 
So much carnival food and mini games. 
Coming back home from such places with a huge stuffie is mandatory. 
"Chris!" You squeal as you struggle to jog beside him, your breath hot in your masquerade mask and a hand on your bulging tummy. All you had said was that the caramel popcorn smelt nice. And then you had had to deal with a whole tub of it after he had already bought you so many things to eat before. "Hang on, oh my God!" 
It is cute how his 'mature' age has not harmed his vivacity because it makes him so fun to be around. He is very easy going and just plain comfortable. You don't have to worry about pretending in front of him and he doesn't do it either. 
His good nature and open display of his affection for you is always heartwarming and honestly… downright attractive. 
A confident man who plays no games with nothing but love and adoration to offer.  
"Come on, baby! The photo booth is finally empty!" Chris is excited like a child as he basically shoves the coins in the slot. He has had an eye on the previously packed booth for a while now. 
It was little things like this that mattered to him a lot. 
From your favorites to little souvenirs, cute clips and pictures of you to how you liked your drinks, all your little rituals and what each of your facial expressions meant to everything else, he had them all memorized through quiet observation. 
Being the extrovert that he is, your boyfriend is otherwise very vocal about his affection for you but that does not mean that he makes a show of these things. 
They're just little things that he likes to do for you; his precious baby.
You yelp and then giggle when he plops his butt down on the seat inside the booth with a loud smack before pulling you in with him– more like, on him. 
"Chris!" The squeal has no effect on him and he goes on his goofy ways as you both pose with your masks on for some pictures. 
Then something suddenly shifts in your boyfriend, as it often does when you're in his general vicinity, and he pushes his mask up before doing the same to yours after turning your face towards his. 
His lips are on yours before you know it and his hands bolt from your waist and knee right to your ass, the tight squeeze making you draw in a sharp breath against his mouth. 
The clicks of the camera keep on going as you circle his neck with your arms, pulling him closer and letting his tongue dominate your mouth as you whimper from his natural dominance that comes out in moments like these. 
He doesn't have hardcore tastes for intimate activities but he is always willing to try for you. 
"Taste so good as always, baby" Chris is breathless when he finally pulls back and rests his forehead against yours, the reel reaching its limit at the same time; almost as if it's aware of how private the moment is. 
It's the little quirks. How he wraps his arm around your waist when you become too self aware in public sometimes, or how he tightens his hold on your hand when there's a crowd, the way he's always looking over you and covering the edges and corners of the furniture around you with his hand to make sure it doesn't nick you and how he goes the extra mile to make sure you're reassured and comfortable.
You love this man with your whole heart.
"Or maybe it's all that caramel popcorn" you tease and he widens his bright blue eyes, thick lashes decorating the area below his eyebrows in the prettiest way. 
"Caramel popcorn?!" You start giggling at the comical way he says it. "Did someone say caramel popcorn?!" You know what's coming and so your Snickers increase in volume and you protestingly bounce on his lap, vehemently shaking your head and trying to get away but Chris is a strong man. "THE TICKLE MONSTER ALSO WANTS SOME CARAMEL POPCORN!" You throw your head back and your body twists when his fingers dig into your sides, the blush that his kisses had caused on your face now darkening due to how you were screeching against him, your tummy in pain from all the laughing. 
It's only when there's tears in your eyes and the annoyed people waiting outside call out for you two that you sheepishly step out with your masks down.
This particular carnival has cute little tent-like pavilions facing a huge screen in one of the prettiest gardens that you have ever seen. You don't have to do more than tug at Chris' sleeve and he follows your gaze before buying you two a spot. 
He insists that you don't pay for anything and to let him spoil you because all he wants is the unconditional love and genuine companionship that you provide him.
And honestly, who are you to reject all that Marvel money?
Just kids and jokes, of course. You try to chip in when you can but damn, it's hard to do that when your boyfriend is literally Chris Evans. 
The rest of the evening goes by with the both of you sipping some soda and feeding each other light snacks as some romcom plays on the screen, your form perched between his limbs with you back to his chest, Chris' chin propped on the top of your head and his thick arms cocooned around your body. 
.
Really hope you liked it <3 
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weirdsht · 3 months ago
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Disillusioned 15 . Limelight
a/n: ngl I'm starting to hate this, it's just that my writing style doesn't seem fitting for a series. maybe next time I'll stick to one-shots lol
also I'm so so sorry for the late update. I'm so busy I haven't slept for like a week now. However, I found some free time to write huhu.
tags: injuries, blood (it's cale what did you expect), self-doubt, war
English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors
Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission
Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome
Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)
Buy Me Dessert
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_____’s time in Vegas City had been relaxing. There’s no way it wouldn’t be when everyone, mainly Cale, made sure it was. And the healer is grateful to all of them. It gave them time to think and lament over the devastating news they had received.
In turn of that kindness and space, _____ made sure to recover after they left the Caro Kingdom. It wasn’t easy, all they wanted to do was lay on the bed all day and cry. Getting energy for the slightest task, even eating, was so hard. But they still pushed themself, because war was approaching.
The battlefield is calling and its first target is their new home.
So the healer pulled themselves by their bootstraps. Even as everyone tried to assure them that it was fine to not be okay they still spared no effort to recover from their depression and be back to normal.
“Basen-nim will handle communications. The Count and Countess will be on the battlefield. Lily-nim is too young.”
Currently, Cale and _____ are having a disagreement.
“That doesn’t mean you’re the only option left. The Henituse have a lot of retainers and people we can use.”
“But can you really go all out if it isn’t one of your direct people guiding the citizens?”
Cale could only furrow his eyebrows at that retaliation. The two are currently disagreeing whether or not _____ should be in charge of leading and guiding the citizens once the Paerun Kingdom attacks. 
Silence lingered for a few seconds. Cale knows that _____ is right. Especially after that northeastern nobles meeting… Cale can only have peace of mind if the one in charge of the citizens is someone he knows. Someone he trusts
_____ reached out towards the redhead, holding his hand to show their resolve.
“Cale, I’ll be fine.”
The healer can feel Cale squeeze their hand back.
“Fine…”
Cale pauses for a moment and _____ thinks they are nearing the end of the discussion.
“But let Raon cast magic on you for disguise.”
Apparently _____ thought wrong.
No way are they allowing the young dragon to cast and maintain magic on them when they need his mana to maintain the barrier. It would also be dangerous to ask another mage for a disguise when there’s always the possibility of their enemies bringing mana disturbance tools.
“Cale you know we can’t do that.”
“Yes, that’s why you better just stay inside the castle walls or beside me and Raon.”
“I can’t do that either. I promise I’ll be safe, plus I’ll be wearing my hood and mask. There’s no way anyone would recognise me.”
Cale sighed as he used his free hand to push his hair back. 
Honestly, everyone listening in (the kids averaging 8 years old) doesn’t know why the young master is fighting this losing battle. If it had been anyone else Cale would’ve agreed in a heartbeat. 
Plus sooner or later they know he’ll give in to the healer’s wishes.
He always does.
True enough, Cale’s resolve did not even last 5 minutes before he agreed to _____’s request. It’s now official that they will be leading the citizens towards safe zones. They would also be the first line of defence in case enemies get past the barrier and start attacking the city. 
Of course, if Cale or someone else from their side gets injured then _____ will run immediately to aid them.
The other people who didn’t listen in on the conversation didn’t even have to ask how it went. Results were obvious from the way _____ was humming on their way out with Cale sighing and petting On and Hong.
“Knight-nim please check if there’s any people left on area d. If you need me I’ll be double-checking our inventory and supplies.”
It’s been a few hours after Cale and _____’s talk. Right now the healer is making sure that everything is in order while their friends are fighting the Indomitable Alliance.
As the Medicus sees Choi Han and the others attack they remember a conversation they had with Cale last night.
The two are the only ones in the room. Well, the only ones awake. The children are with them but Cale has forced them to sleep because they need the energy for tomorrow. A serving of blueberry crumble paired with jasmine tea is being enjoyed as they talk.
“I plan to create a new history. To bring new heroes forward.”
“And I assume you won’t be part of those heroes?”
_____ asked in a joking manner as they refilled both of their teacups.
“Of course not. I only want to win this war and then go rest at the underground villa peacefully.”
Cale stopped speaking to take a bite out of the dessert.
“I’m telling you this because I want to ask you if you’d like to be part of that history. This battle would be a good opportunity to show everyone that you are alive.”
“I… thank you but it would be unneeded.”
The healer’s immediate answer made Cale look at them in confusion.
“Hmm well, that’s a shame the crown prince was also thinking of giving you the Perduellio’s assets as all of them have been found guilty.”
“Is he? I didn’t know such a thing.”
Of course _____ didn’t. Only Cale and Alberu know of such a thing. They're also the only ones who know the sorry state that family is currently in.
“But still… While I do agree with you that this is a good time to do that I still don’t want to do it. My time in the spotlight was not a good experience for me. It would be enough for me to see our friends be known and bask in that light.”
_____ sipped their tea before continuing.
“There’s also the fact that my adoptive family had committed a grave sin. I don’t think it’s right for me to strive for fame when I am still legally part of that family. I will reveal myself, but it won’t be now. I hope Cale and the crown prince can understand…”
Cale nodded in understanding. He's not cruel enough to force someone to do what he wants just because he wants to hide in the shadows. There are already more than enough heroes that he can push into the spotlight.
“I understand, I’ll inform the crown prince don’t worry about it.”
_____ snapped out of their daydream to focus back on their task. 
At least tried to.
Right about when _____ is about to talk to another knight they saw Cale bleed. The healer would have left it to the priests and healers near the field if it was just Cale’s normal bleeding. But it wasn’t.
Cale is bleeding from basically every orifice of his body.
And his too far away for _____ to accurately see if he's okay.
“I’ll leave the rest to you knight-nim, I must assist our Commander.”
So the healer runs. 
They run the fastest they’ve ever had in their entire left. _____ ran so fast they got there before the healers could.
“__– healer-nim you shouldn’t be here.” 
Countess Violan made sure that the healer’s hood and mask were still intact. The fabric on their face had been removed to aid catch their breath from running. Good thing the hood was still intact so it’s unlikely that anyone has seen their face.
“Countess Violan It’ll be fine. Our priority should be the Commander right now.”
_____ has no way of knowing how at that moment, the Henituse’s respect for them grew even more.
The healer turned to Cale to see him talking to what seemed like the air. That must be why his parents are even more worried right now. It looks like the redhead is hallucinating.
Good thing _____ knows the truth. They know that he isn’t hallucinating and that he isn’t talking to thin air. Good thing they know that the words the young master was uttering are directed at a certain invisible dragon.
"It's fine now, I'll be supporting too."
Those words may seem like it was directed at the Countess and Cale but it was directed towards Raon. It's the healer's way of saying that everything will be fine so Raon better follows Cale's instructions.
_____ can’t see Raon nor can they hear his voice in their head, but they’re sure that the dragon has quieted down since Cale had stopped muttering
“Does healer-nim need help?”
The territory’s healer finally arrived. Meanwhile, _____ has not only aided Cale’s vitality of the heart, but they were also healing Choi Han while supporting Mary.
“Yes please.”
Short responses are the only thing _____ can form right now. They must focus all their strength on supporting three people. Choi Han is especially hard to heal. It’s because the Medicus had only known long-distance healing in theory and had never tried it in person.
The far away and moving Choi Han proved to be a difficult patient but _____ is certain that his recovering little by little from the wounds they are slowly absorbing. 
Drip
Drip
It’s a good thing the colour coding for this event is black. Even as blood drips down their sleeves no one would notice from far away.
But not the people near the Medicus.
Cale’s hand that had been holding onto _____’s arms tightened at the blood dripping down the ground. On the bright side, they are now certain that Choi Han’s shoulder wound is getting better.
Meanwhile, supporting Mary is easier but still proves to be a bit of a challenge. The Medicus has to support her as stealthily as possible to not give away her location. Usually whenever _____ uses her ancient power droplets of water would appear. Then they would cover those droplets with their light ability. 
But they can’t do that right now.
Both would be too flashy and would reveal the necromancer’s location.
So they did the next best thing. Which was making their power travel through the cracks of the ground and the wall.
Doing this while doing long-distance healing and supporting the Vitality of the Heart made _____ use more power and energy than they usually would.
“Leave some of the work to the healers and priests.”
The still pale, but doing much better now, Cale whispered. _____ looked at him to assess his condition using their power. 
“I’m okay Commander, and it looks like you’ll be okay soon too.”
_____ heard Cale sigh but ignored it. Seeing that his being ignored, Cale proceeded to gather himself so he could stand up again.
And that made the healer relieved.
Sure they knew his fine. _____ knows that the young master has a regeneration power. But seeing him being in commission again made it feel real. Especially after seeing them bleed that much.
That relief was short-lived.
Because tell _____ why was the first thing Cale did was use his powers again. The healer swears that one day Cale is gonna give them a heart attack.
Fortunately, the healer and the redhead have similar temperaments. Both can work well under immense stress and pressure while making it seem like they aren’t breaking that much sweat. Thanks to that _____’s composure didn’t falter and they were able to do what they needed to.
Choi Han is still a problem though. Because of the distance, the healer can’t fully heal him.
‘If only I was stronger’
_____ tries to push unnecessary thoughts away.
‘If only I was a saint’
Just as _____ was about to get pulled in by their thoughts, they felt a familiar chubby paw on their shoulder.
“Kind _____ hang in there a bit more, we’re close to winning! I’m going to go help out Choi Han now okay?”
Raon’s bright voice had served as a wake-up call for _____. Thanks to him the healer can fully focus on their task until the very end.
“I didn’t know you could do that.”
“I didn’t know I could too.”
Cale and _____ are currently on their way to the underground dungeon. Both of them are pale and their clothes are covered with blood but they are walking as if nothing’s wrong.
“When you were at the Paerun Kingdom I started thinking of my powers in a different light, and this was the conclusion of that.”
“But doing this is harder for your body right?”
“As if, you’re one to talk.”
_____ laughed as they saw Cale scrunch his nose at the comment.
“Yes it’s harder but it’s very useful at times like this. It's all thanks to the anatomy books Ron bought for me. Having a more in-depth idea as to how our bodies work allowed me to assess them even from far away.
It’s good to know that as long as someone is within my eyesight I can heal them. Haaa, but I must say, healing Choi Han-nim while he was riding those flying bones is hard.”
Both of them stopped at the entrance of the underground dungeon.
“Since it’s hard and you overexerted yourself, does this mean you’ll leave Choi Han in the hands of other healers?”
The healer laughed again as they waved goodbye. There’s no way Cale is allowing them to enter the dungeon and they have better things to do.
“No promises Cale.”
And if one of those ‘better things to do’ is healing Choi Han, then Cale can find out for himself later.
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intimidatingpuffinstudios · 4 months ago
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Manerkol Q&A from Old Patreon
Hey, guys!
I've been getting asks lately about that one Manerkol interview I did for Patreon in the early days of TSSW.
It's not available anywhere right now, but people are asking for it, so I figured, why not gift it to all of you? 🤩✨
Warning, this features an MC who is into Manerkol choking them, so tread with caution 🤣
Hope you enjoy your little Manerkol dose, folks!
What was the experience of the aftermath of losing the MC at the end of the first book and knowing that your soul mate is working against the destiny you've pursued for so long. How do you reconcile that emotionally?
A razor-sharp red gaze pins you to the spot, the full weight of Manerkol's attention pushing against your shoulders, making you swallow thickly to dispel the silently menacing atmosphere. The Lord of all sits elegantly on his throne, but he is not speaking at all.
He sits entirely still—except from the steady tapping of a lone finger against the armrest of his throne, the claw-like ornament he wears making an ominous clicking sound against the cold marble. The temperature drops more and more with every second that passes until you are shivering as you stand before his statuesque form.
When he finally opens his mouth to speak, you are so shaken that you're ready to beg for forgiveness for daring to question him in this manner.
"I need reconcile nothing. Having a soulmate is unexpected—but it changes nothing in the grand scheme of my design. They will yield to me in the end like everyone else did before them—and they will be glad for the opportunity to do so."
What starts as an emotionless tone soon turns to menacing, then settles at smug. A dark smirk pulls at the Lord's full lips, his mercurial attention suddenly not as suffocating as before.
"You amuse me," he praises you in a condescending tone. "You may continue."
Do you have a fave ice cream flavor? What about favorite color? Did you ever have a pet crow? How would you react to his soulmate showing you their pet rock/marimo and calling it your child?
The figure sitting upon his imposing throne listens patiently as you unleash a slew of questions upon him, his face an expressionless mask that gives no indication of what he thinks of about your queries. As soon as you're done asking, a moment passes in silence.
Nothing moves, Manerkol appearing like a pale, cold statue, not breathing, not shifting in the slightest. Then he slowly tilts his head at you, and his lips thin—the stare of absolute pity and disgust he gives you could not be faked in a million years.
"I do not enjoy ice cream. Black. I have an entire country full of animal familiars. And…" He enunciates these answers with deliberate slowness as if he's addressing a toddler not quick on the uptake—or something else equally insulting. And yet he pauses for a moment on the last question.
He slowly blinks, and a barely-there sigh leaves his lips, his expression growing pinched—except for the softening of his red eyes, a softness he does not bother to hide. Whether it's because he is unashamed of it or because he thinks you so inferior that your opinion doesn't matter, no one but the Gods can tell.
"My soulmate can claim whatever they please—rocks, creatures, anything that strikes their fancy. The world is theirs to play with." A tiny smirk pulls at his lips, and you can breathe more easily now that he appears more entertained than disgusted with you.
You do note, however, that he didn't answer the child part of the question and consider whether to press the issue. You open your mouth—only to promptly close it when the room temperature plummets abruptly, and black, misty tendrils start blooming at the edges of the room.
"You may continue. Or is this perhaps your last question?" The emphasis put on "last" is barely noticeable—and yet the meaning it conveys is as clear as a bell's toll. Time to move on!
Do you still have feelings for Ithilmir? If you do, how would you react to seeing them again now that you're bonded with the MC?
"…Feelings. For Ithilmir?" The words are breathed out so softly that you barely heard them, and Manerkol remains as passive on his throne as ever. There is nothing to warn you of the danger you have put yourself in, no change in tone; no tell that could prepare for what's to come.
One minute you're looking at the High King and asking your question, and the next… The next, you are flung across the room by a backhanded slap you couldn't have seen coming if your life depended on it. Manerkol stepped through time and space with more speed than your human eyes could ever hope to track, his wrath burning out the oxygen in the room.
Or maybe that's just the black tendrils that seize your flying body before you hit the opposite wall, the shadowy vines wrapping around your throat and squeezing. You gasp, and you thrash, your cheek a field on fire—but then you grow suddenly still as Manerkol materializes in front of you.
Your only consolation is that he could have killed you if he wanted—but he didn't, and that means you may still have a chance. So you stay absolutely still, curbing down the impulse to claw at the tendrils, scream and plead. Or even worse, fight.
The tendrils around your throat dissolve only to be replaced by his cold, merciless hand, his long fingers wrapping around the defenseless column as his thumb digs cruelly into your pulse point. His red eyes are two points of icy wrath, and yet the rest of him seems weirdly tranquil.
"If I ever had the misfortune of seeing Ithilmir in the flesh again, I would react in the only way possible. I would grind their bones to dust under my boot, pluck out their eyes, feed them their own tongue. And if they ever thought of even looking at my soulmate, I'd make sure that their experience lasts for centuries."
His voice is neutral, with no inflection, no emotion. Or at least until he gets to the part about his soulmate. Then it turns ice cold, murderous to the point when each word feels like a spear of ice dragged along your skin, every rise and fall slicing strips of agonizing sensation into your flesh.
You gasp as the statue-like hand squeezes your throat one last time—and then Manerkol's wrath breaks, a sly grin breaking out as he takes in your shuddering form. He lets you go without preamble, and you crumple to the floor in a heap, coughs wracking your body.
"Hmm, why don't you ask me about Ithilmir again? I enjoyed your last question," he prompts in a light tone, far too cordial to be anything but a mockery, a threat. His fangs peek out of his full lips with his smile, and he pets your head with one hand as if you were an animal he is rewarding for amusing him.
Within the next second, he is back at his throne, lounging elegantly, that sickening grin of amusement still pulling at his lips as he watches you struggle to your feet. Welp. You should be grateful you're still alive, you guess.
What happened to Ithilmir? How did you manage to escape the god of death?
He does not look surprised that you persist in this line of questioning. Instead, he tilts his head and lets his chin rest on the palm of his hand as he balances it against the armrest of his imperial throne. He is still smiling, his red eyes glimmering, and you feel like a mouse caught in a cat's cruel game.
The High King's amusement suddenly feels ten times more dangerous than his anger, and you get the dreadful feeling that once your questions end, you may end alongside them. You struggle to stay upright, your legs shaking with your terror, your hands fists at your sides.
Manerkol watches it all with that same gleeful smile. It's not often that one can see him like this—taking pleasure from the suffering of creatures inferior to him is not something he usually does. But you must have gotten under his skin pretty bad if he's taking such perverse pleasure at your suffering.
And the High King, in all his magnanimous generosity, deigns to answer one more Ithilmir question for you.
"Ithilmir got exactly what they deserved. The plans they had—thwarted. Their shrines—destroyed. Their worship—ended. The fate they had planned for me, I enforced upon them instead. And now? Now all that's left of them is their impotent tears."
The satisfaction he takes from this declaration is apparent for all to see, the recollection of how he utterly crushed Ithilmir. If you needed any more evidence of how dangerous this man is, you now have it before you. He defeated a God. And then went on to eradicate most of them from the face of Talhamsyn.
The same man staring down at you with twisted amusement playing in the red depths of his eyes has made an entire country bow to his will. Your presence here is tolerated—so long as you prove more entertaining than annoying. A chill runs down your spine as the Lord of All licks his top lip slowly, his eyes tracking the way you swallow thickly.
His fangs peek out once more, and you're 100% percent sure that the move is calculated.
"Continue, pet," he urges in a smooth tone, deep and sensual. You're moments away from getting your throat ripped out, you just know it.
How do you maintain your hair to stay so fabulous?
A lilting chuckle bursts forth from his lips, yet despite the mirth behind the sound, it's not pleasant. Or maybe it is if one enjoys being mocked and looked down upon. The High King moves his hand and trails it over his ebony hair in an entirely enticing, ridiculing manner.
Taunting you with the perfection that will never be yours.
"Is that truly a serious question? Are you looking for beauty tips, perhaps?" he asks in a dulcet tone, his lips quirked, his gaze pitying. He runs his fingers through the ebony locks, and you think you can smell the scent of jasmine wafting through the air.
"My excuses, pet. I'm afraid no amount of tips could ever help you with…that." He waves with his hand in the general direction of your head, and if not for the entirely patronizing tone, one might think that the sympathy reflected in his red gaze was genuine.
As things stand, however, the sinister smirk leveled your way eradicates any hope of getting an answer out of him. And it makes you wonder… Has he sincerely answered any of your questions until now? Aside from saying that his favorite color is black…
What would break your heart? What would mend it whole again?
An imperious eyebrow raised in disbelief is the only answer you get for a moment as Manerkol's red gaze sweeps over you, probably gauging if you're being serious or not. For a fraction of a second, his lips thin, and his fingers grip the armrest tightly.
But the reaction is gone so fast that you wonder if maybe you imagined it altogether.
"You are assuming I have one—and based on that assumption, you speculate further that I'd care about its workings. My heart, existing or not, is inconsequential. All that matters is my will, my design for this world. Everything else is of little import."
The emotionless response is delivered in a dead tone, emphasizing the King's point. You would have no doubt whatsoever that this heartless man means every word he said—if not for the way his gaze shifts to the left for a moment, focusing in a memory or thought that only he can see.
There's a flash of loss, but it's wiped away within the blink of an eye, leaving behind nothing but impenetrable stone, an icy veneer that no warmth can ever hope to penetrate. Except perhaps for the person who had him looking away in the first place.
"You are treading on thin ice, creature. I'm growing bored with your inanity. Choose your next words wisely." The threat is delivered in so casual a tone that it sends needles of apprehension pricking down your spine, and you swallow thickly as you prepare for your next question.
What would have been the plan of action, had the wielders not torn you away from your soulmate?
This time the vampire obviously grits his teeth, his patience for you growing thin exponentially. The glare he throws your way is feral, a savage hunger hiding behind it—if it's merely for your blood or your demise, you cannot be sure.
His gorgeous features turn sharp, bestial, his cheekbones becoming more prominent, the jut of his jaw even more pronounced. You don't know if he's using magic to create this illusion of if it's a product of his vampirism, but as two unnaturally big red eyes pin you to the spot, you very much feel ready to wet your pants.
"You'd presume to know my plans, creature? Should I perhaps draw you a diagram with every decision I've ever made in my 2000 years, every single choice that led to this point? Or perhaps you'd prefer a bullet point list with the most important points summarized?"
If not for his now wildly unsettling aura and appearance, one might assume that he's genuinely offering to do these things for you. He's obviously being sarcastic, but his tone is so deadpan that it messes with your brain, even more so than your perception of his distorted face.
"And never mention that day to me again." This time, the quiet menace is not concealed—you blink in desperation to dispel the sweat that has fallen into your eyes, making them sting. But as your vision clears, so does Manerkol's visage.
He is sitting opposite you, as regal and gorgeous as ever, his expression a mask of carefully cultivated disinterest. And yet the heaviness of the moment lingers, warning you of what is going on beneath his glacial surface. You are moments away from being disposed of—and when the Lord of All elegantly rises from his throne and starts walking towards you with exaggerated care, you know that your moment of death might just be upon you.
But you just can't stop asking questions.
Can you use magic, and if so, would you teach it to your soulmate?
The answer this time is instant, no deliberation, almost as if Manerkol has decided that the time to play around is over, and he'll grant you whatever questions you manage to get out before he reaches you. Each step closer is one step further into your own doom. And yet you can't help but watch helplessly the deadly elegance that is his movements.
"I am the greatest sorcerer to have ever lived, and there is no power or knowledge that I'd deny my soulmate. Not as long as they don't intend to use it against me." The answer is matter-of-fact, sterile. As if he's answering what should be obvious.
You realize that maybe you should start walking backward to create as much distance between you and him as possible—and to your surprise, he allows it. He doesn't fasten his gait, his long legs eating up the space between you in unhurried steps.
He knows that there's nowhere for you to go, and so do you. Your only chance of survival is either an act of the Gods, or another mercurial swing of his mood, changing his intentions from deadly to tolerating. But as he stalks you across the room, silent, his sleek muscles moving under the fabric of his form-fitting robes, a predator in all but name…
You can't see how you might be saved, and so you do the only thing left for you to do. As your back hits a wall behind you, signaling that your time is up, you shoot another question at him. Your last one.
What's your ideal date?
The question is ludicrous, especially considering the situation. But your mind is drawing a blank, terror stealing away your higher thinking, and this is the only thing that popped up in your brain. But by some stroke of unimaginable luck, it makes Manerkol pause in his pursuit of you.
He stops moving a mere couple paces away from you—then he raises one elegant hand and presses it to his eyes as a deep chuckle rumbles in the frigid air between you. You suddenly realize that the temperature in the room has fallen significantly, drugging you, slowing down your reactions.
Not that you believe that Manerkol needs another edge over you—there is no competition here. You watch, scared out of your wits as his shoulders shake with his mirth, his upper face hidden behind his hand. Then that hand moves to swipe his hair from over his shoulder and back down his back, making another explosion of jasmine scent saturate your senses.
"My soulmate and I in one of the deep or high places of the world, safe, unreachable, feasting on the blood of whatever poor fool happened to cross our way." The words have a teasing quality to them, like he's joking with you—only, you're at the butt of the joke.
His gaze sharpens on you, glimmering and beautiful, arrogant and pitying—but you can see that he's amused, even as he threatens to feast upon your blood. Because that's exactly what his answer was. Or maybe he honestly thinks that what he described is the ideal, the undoubtedly perfect, the mother of all dates.
Who are you to judge a Vampire Lord's taste in dates, after all? And yet you can't shake the feeling that every single answer he gave you is not what it seems, not what he truly means—nothing but a game he played to entertain himself for a while. There are kernels of truth in every response, but what goes unspoken is far more important.
But alas, you will never get to figure out this game of riddles the High King played with you—he steps up to you languidly, breaching the last of the distance between you, and his tall form looms over you, imposing and deadly. He reaches out with one fine-boned hand, cupping your cheek.
The chill of his touch seeps into you, putting you under, freezing your blood, and the Lord leans down, his thumb stroking over your cheekbone. Then he smiles.
"Time's up," he murmurs in a drugging voice, the timbre turning your mind into a hazy fog. There's nothing sexual about his touch or the situation in general—the quality is more that of a benevolent parent, lulling their tired child to sleep,
You amused him, after all. You have earned yourself the privilege of death without pain. It's time for you to sleep. The room around you dissolves into a barren landscape, grey and lifeless, with mist swirling around your feet. You realize suddenly that this is nothing but a dream.
And yet the realization is a faraway thing, nothing that affects you now. You know all too well about Manerkol's ability to kill people in their sleep. You hazily wonder what information he meant to take from you, what his mind was searching for as your brain conjured up this scenario of your interviewing the High King, probably to protect itself from the real danger going on in the background.
You watch, enraptured, as his mouth gets ever closer, his hand on your cheek tilting your head to the side to make room for his bite. A frozen exhale bathes the skin of your neck as he gets into position. And then—! The dreamscape roils and bubbles up next to you, shifting and opening up.
The mist pulls back, and a new form materializes next to you, a form you know to be the High King's Consort, his soulmate. They take one look around the place and sniff in disdain before their focus turns entirely to Manerkol. They take in the tableau you and he make, and they sigh in exasperation.
"Must you really, mate of mine? What has this poor person done to earn the capital punishment?" they ask in irritated fondness, and Manerkol promptly moves away from you, letting you crumple to your knees, forgotten. It feels like he sucked the air away with his departure, and you gasp as you watch him walk up to his mate and sweep them in his arms.
But the Consort is not done voicing their displeasure.
And you're always making the dreamspace so dire! Even when it is for me! I'm your soulmate! I'd think you'd pick a more pleasant place for us to meet." The complain ends in a high whine when Manerkol weaves his hand into his mate's hair, grabbing onto the strands and pulling until his beloved's neck is arched beautifully for him.
He noses at the stretched column of flesh in front of him, placing a soft kiss to the Consort's pulse point as a low chuckle vibrates the world around them. This time, the Lord's amusement is not mocking or dangerous in any way. It's full of fondness, teasing anticipation—you are watching the High King and his soulmate flirt.
"This place was not created with you in mind, ulaidh. You chose to barge in by yourself. And if you may recall, the dreamscape was barren and unpleasant before I knew what you are to me. Yet you know all these things, don't you? You're simply trying to earn yourself my undivided attention, hmm?"
The Consort's eyes flash in a challenge, and they open their mouth to reply—only for the hand buried in their hair to swiftly move to their neck. Their mate grabs them and lifts, making them tiptoe to keep their balance, gasping as his thumb presses against their pulse point strong enough to bruise.
"It's not the setting you crave; it's the violence. Isn't that so, my precious one?" The tone is dripping with suggestion, the voice delivering the mind-melting threat low and husky, making the Consort obviously shudder from its headiness.
If they mean to say something in response, you're not sure—all you can hear is their broken-off gasps and moans, all you can see is the way Manerkol bobs their head up and down in imitation of a puppet, a cruel grin curving his full lips. He leans down, and these same lips press a feather-light kiss to the Consort's gasping mouth, the deliberate gentleness exacerbating the violence that is watching him choke his own mate.
And yet you get the impression that this is precisely what the Consort craves—then Manerkol's whisper is the last thing you hear before the dream breaks.
"Let's see if I can't make you beg for what you want, ulaidh." A choking sound echoes all around, and then you are hurtled away from the entwined duo. You wake up in your own bed, gasping, clawing at your throat, bathed in a cold sweat.
And as you sit there, shivering apart on your bed, you contemplate…
You may have just gotten more out of Manerkol than anyone else has in eons—and the only reason why you have lived to tell the tale is because of one perfectly timed, horny intervention by his Majesty's soulmate. If you have escaped death or just delayed it remains to be seen.
And may the Gods take pity on your soul…
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merrinpippy · 5 months ago
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on masks
so shockingly miracle mask has huge mask theming in like every aspect. basically every significant character is 'wearing' a mask literally or metaphorically, except for luke who remarks in ludmilla's costume shop that he doesn't think any of the masks suit him (since the events of the previous game luke can be authentically himself now.) this is fun to notice on its own, but there's more to be discussed than just the presence of masks.
every mask in miracle mask backfires on its wearer to some degree! the most obvious case of this is descole and the masked gentleman straight up underestimating their own mask/s and failing to see their plans to the end, and the resulting consequences. dalston and henry's masks of stoicism turn out to have kept them from years of friendship they could have enjoyed, and paint them both as suspects in the masked gentleman case. angela's aloof facade and distance from everyone around her allows her to be kidnapped for a significant portion of the game without anyone but the professor noticing (and even then, he notices that something's up with her, but chalks it up initially as not knowing her anymore). less obviously, emmy's mask only means she'll end up hurting the people she has come to care for even more when the time comes.
most interesting to me, though, is hershel! even as a teen he's remarkably reserved, though clearly passionate. he keeps himself very controlled, and seems to care very much about coming across to others as helpful, grounded, and 'normal'. the interests that we know he has he keeps locked up, literally hidden away in cupboards, not to be acknowledged aloud to himself or others. he never gets angry or ever really displays any stereotypical teen behaviours apart from awkwardness.
now what this means is he is treated as the reliable one who will nonetheless go along with whatever randall wants him to do. he's never particularly assertive (something he will learn to be as an adult) so his willingness is taken for granted. he's put in mortal danger in akbadain because it never occurs to randall that hershel's protests are anything more than for appearance's sake.
and when randall falls and hershel is alone, he yells! he falls to his knees, completely overcome. he cries. he pushes through. and when he reaches angela and henry, alone, covered in dirt, looking completely haunted... they don't even ask him if he's okay. angela bodily shakes him. in the past and present, nobody treats hershel as if he's been through something traumatic - to everyone else, he was either a bystander to or complicit in randall's death, but controlled, mild-mannered and rational hershel is never considered a victim in his own right even after years have passed for everyone to think on it. years after the fact angela apologises to hershel... when she realises she needs his help. and henry immediately accuses him of betraying randall's memory and abandoning him.
and to be clear this isn't me saying oh they're evil or whatever but it's significant that they acknowledge how the trauma affected them and their behaviour from that point forward but it doesn't occur to them that hershel's behaviour and life trajectory was also altered forever! because hershel has for his whole life masked so well that to everyone else he does not have an interior life that isn't puzzle solving.
and the absolute funniest thing about it is that when hershel confesses this all to emmy and luke.... it's immediately back to the investigation, "where do we go now professor!" i'm sure there's no reason to ask if hershel's okay, he's probably unaffected by all that, let's go! readers i laughed out loud. tfw you mask so well everyone forgets you're a person
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mirukosbitchywife · 2 years ago
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aizawa, fatgum, twice, mirio, kirishima, and shinsou x reader who dyes their hair
another request from the bestie!! this one was for aizawa, fatgum, twice, mirio, kirishima, and shinsou x reader who dyes their hair a lot, like every month kinda stuff!! hope u like it!! this is my first time writing for a few of them so i hope it's okay!
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shouta aizawa:
•literally doesn't care. might actually deadass not notice you dyed it again. he seems like the type to always look his s/o in the eye/face, you might have to point out things like your hair and clothes to get him to pay attention to them, but he always compliments your makeup if you wear any (bc that's where he's staring) so he makes up for it <3
•don't ask him to help you pick a color ever. it will not end the way you want it to he will literally just pick at random, you're better off asking someone else or picking yourself
•not so secretly skilled with doing hair, he's besties with nemuri and i'm so sure he's had to help out kiri w dying his hair too!! so aizawa is the person to go to if you need help with it!! will only grumble a little but that's normal
•will covertly bitch about protecting your hair. sees you with another box of bleach too soon and just. grabs it from you. doesn't say shit. takes it and goes. gives it back to you in like a month?
•might actually knock you out if you try to buy another after he took one from you
taishiro toyomitsu:
•notices immediately and compliments the color(s) on you!!! calls you a different pet name with each color too, like pink would be sweetie, blue would be darling, smth like that, he just likes giving you new ones.
•amazing decision maker. for everyone out there who struggles to make basics choices? this is ur man. will help you pick a color and will argue his point when ur still indecisive. king.
•don't ask him to help you dye it tho. i'm sorry he just seems. i don't want to be mean to him but i think if he tried to help you dye your hair it'd be all over the both of you. more on you two than your hair. sorry tai </3
•WILL let you dye his hair to match yours!!! he wears a hoodie during work anyway so it wouldn't mess with anything!! he actually loves the matching too
•helps you take care of it, looks up tips on his phone to show you later, recommends products for you to use (also buys all the shit for u thank god)
jin bubaigawara:
•stumbles trips over the air cries screams throws up every time you dye your hair. he is so ridiculous in his enthusiasm. every time you dye it it's like he's never seen anyone with brightly colored hair before even tho he lives with spinner
•probably also a pretty good person to go to when you can't decide on a color, he's had to wise up on what goes with what since becoming a big brother to toga who WILL stab him if he chooses wrong. so he might be able to give good advice
•i also don't think he should be allowed anywhere near your head. like think 10x as messy as with taishiro because jin is also super clumsy and will get it everywhere. on you two on the floor on the sink on the bathtubs somehow? on the ceiling? idk how he did it
•probably would also let you dye his hair to match yours since he does wear his mask. i think during the meta liberation army arc when he starts doubling himself again, him having his hair dyed and his clones having blonde hair would really help him with the trauma as well
•doesn't give you tips, doesn't help you, takes care of your hair For you. he can't dye hair but he can moisturize and comb it out for you 🥺 maybe even braid it if you want
togata mirio
•he doesn't notice when you do your hair, no. he was watching you with his face on the wall out of your line of sight watching you do it. (i think he's kinda just Always Watching, not in a creepy way but like he'll pop up to watch you do your makeup/your hair, pops up to walk you to and from places when he can, etc.)
•gives you tons and tons of compliments whenever you dye it a different color. he's probably mid at picking between colors tho, idk if i trust his style sometimes..
•could Probably be trusted to dye your hair, he would be REALLY focused on making sure it's perfect and that he doesn't fuck it up, watched TONS of videos beforehand
•he doesn't have a hood or mask but would still be willing to let you dye his hair to match, it's honestly really his style
•probably likes to leave hair products around for you. idk how he does it considering he can't go through things with items but whatever
eijirou kirishima
•would absolutely LOVE being w someone who also dyes their hair!! it's probably how y'all bonded in the first place!
•very good at choosing between colors. even super similar colors. he's Very particular about the shade of his hair so he knows what's up!!
•will absolutely want to do each other's hair together!! you dye his hair and he dyes yours !! very fun to do but you guys also get pretty messy. worth it tho
•he would be super super excited if you also want to dye your hair red, Might dye his hair a different color for a month or so if you have a specific signature color as well but that's as good as you're gonna get.
•you guys both totally share hair care tips together like true relationship goals
hitoshi shinsou
•waits in anticipation for whatever color you're doing next. literally no matter what color you dyed your hair, no matter how patchy or uneven it is, he will compliment it
•don't ask him to help pick between colors. he will say yes to every color and when you go "that's not how it works" he's just like "okay but they all look good on you i can't decide" WHICH IS THE ISSUE IN THE FIRST OLACE BECAUSE YOU ALSO CANT PICK THATS WHY YOU CAME TO HIM!!!! grr
•oh my god he's been watching youtube tutorials on dying hair since he found out you dye yours, he's SO ready to dye your hair when you finally ask him. does an amazing job chefs kiss
•will bite you if you try to over bleach your hair, i'm so serious. he's like nooooo idc how excited u are for a new color no more bleach ��
•another one who personally wants to apply products to your hair and knows so many hairstyles u can't convince me otherwise. he learned more so he can play in ur hair <3
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neverchecking · 2 years ago
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Could you do Yandere BOTW Champions or TOTK Sages x Reader who has the Mask from Majora’s Mask? The reader is Hylian. But they have the usual four mask, Plus the Fierce Deity mask.
As head cannons preferably.
This is a mostly Linked Universe Blog, but sure! I'm not overly well versed on the whole Mask deal, so please bare with me.
I went with the BOTW Champions, since not everyone knows the sages.
Champion of the Masks
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・❥・So, if you know the Champions, there's a good chance you are a knight or warrior in your own right.
・❥・You are someone powerful, probably because of said masks. For Hylia's sake, you have the Fierce Deity looking over you. You are practically untouchable.
・❥・And the other Champions are well aware of this fact. But that doesn't change anything.
・❥・Because you are still so vulnerable. What happens when you're separated from your masks? Then what? Hm? You are just so vulnerable, can't you see that?
・❥・You don't have any powers of the wind, not any form of protection. You can't control any elements, nor can you heal. You certainly don't have any part of the triforce. You are powerless.
・❥・Which is why they needed to be there to protect you!
・❥・Now, Revali. My loveable douche-bird. He tries to keep you at a distance, but still falls. And he falls hard. Revali is the only champion who wasn't born with his gift. He had to build Revali's gale into what it was from scratch.
・❥・Reader probably recognizes all of his hard work, because (and this is from my very limited research) to get all of the Masks in their possession? A bitch and a half. They weren't gifted these masks. Not without a price. So they can recognize a situation where you are pitted against these...demi-gods eons beyond your own abilities and forced to catch up or fall behind.
・❥・And Revali absolutely cherishes this. Having someone not look down on him, but instead stand on the very same footing he was? Man's is down bad.
・❥・He is particularly fond of your Breman Mask because you just look so pretty in feathers. And while yes, white looked nice on you, blue looked better.
・❥・I HC that every race has their own form of courting rituals, Rito included. They probably make their intended betrothed some sort of snow-quill headpiece meant for the cold, lined with their feathers and intricate braids of fine silks and expensive ribbons.
・❥・You just know that Revali, as a champion, would make a nice courting present. And you just know he is purposefully difficult and makes everyone else come to him in the Rito village (He is their best warrior and is shown to lead their army in AoC). You just know that he demands the princess bring her two best knights, which begrudgingly means Link, but it also means you. You who wears the snowquill bit with pride-- even if you don't know what if means really.
・❥・It doesn't matter because the others do.
・❥・The next one to fall is Urbosa.
・❥・She falls after seeing you in battle. The Gerudo, regardless of gender, can respect a Warrior when they see one. And you are a warrior. You with your sharp wit and insane reaction times, parrying a blade aimed for her.
・❥・Your strength alone makes her swoon because out of everything she can respect that.
・❥・Her favorite mask of yours is the Garo's mask. Not only does it fool these supposed Garo (You are so smart, did you know that? With all of your stories and journeys.), but it also fools the Yiga. The Mask of Truth does as well, but the thought of spilling her guts to you makes her uneasy.
・❥・Not because she doesn't want you to know how constantly you're running through her head, but she doesn't want you to know how deep these thoughts delve.
・❥・When you're able to fool the Yiga and get back to her about an ambush planned on her people, she knows you're the one.
・❥・I like to imagine the Gerudo focus more on jewelry for a courting action. Not rings, no. But intricate pieces of armor lined with gems aimed to aid in battles.
・❥・Brigandines lined with topaz; Gorgets lined with opals; spaulders ordained in rubies; Poleyn decorated in sapphires. Even your own Scmitar enhanced by diamonds. All of it custom made to you to show her devotion to you.
・❥・Now, with this being all useful items you can wear in battle, you're seen in it often.
・❥・Daruk is next. He falls for you after seeing you in his, coincidentally, favorite mask. You tell the tale of the Goron Mask after he asks, weaving this intricate legend that had him hanging onto every word.
・❥・The Gorons show their love through food. So Daruk makes it a point to constantly share his food, both sedimentary and otherwise. He loves knowing that you are well fed and cared for because of him.
・❥・I feel like the highest form of love that can be shown through food for a Goron is a Prime Rock Roast. And while he knows Hylian's can't eat rocks (Link excluded because...it's Link), he looks for the next best thing.
・❥・Intricate pasties filled with only the finest of whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar; dripping roasts just oozing juice that practically fall of the bone; grilled fish where the smell alone is enough to make you sallivate
・❥・All of it are gifted to you to ensure you think of him whenever you feel hungry. That he is your go to.
・❥・Now, next is a tie between Link and Zelda.
・❥・Zelda probably falls first because she sees you interacting with the others and watches you. In fact, you watch her back. But the difference between you watching her and Link watching her, because her father has allowed you to take over for Link on the rare occasion, is that you give her space. You allow her to disappear into the divine beasts, waiting patiently for her to come to you.
・❥・You entertain her with stories upon stories.
・❥・You listen to her woes with a careful ear and offer your own advice.
・❥・You even braved her cooking.
・❥・She loves all of your masks and cherishes each story about them. But when you wear the Great Fairy Mask and let fairies tickle her cheeks?That's when she swoons the most.
・❥・Link falls during all the time he spends with you chasing after Zelda. You're able to hold your own, which is always appreciated, and you're okay with silence. Silence settles between you two often while waiting for Zelda and you don't push it.
・❥・And you don't look at him like he's anything other than a Hylian. Not the wielder of the sword that seals the darkness.
・❥・Not this random knight that was handed a legacy on a plate.
・❥・Not an annoyance that needed to be shook off,
・❥・He was just Link to you. And it made his heart sing.
・❥・Unfortunately, neither are quite in the position to court you. Not with Calamity on the horizon, nor with their standings in the royal council. And it tears them apart in the inside. Seeing you decked out in jewels with feathers woven into your hair, eating some of the finest things Hyrule has to offer, all of it makes them bitter and hungry. Hungry to show how you belong to them.
・❥・You get prefential treatment in the castle. The finest of rooms with the softest of sheets. Plump pillows and too many locks on the door to keep you right where she wants satin pajamas, all just for your enjoyment.
・❥・Or the best weapons and shields available to the royal guard. Bows re-strung just for you, or the lion's share of arrows provided. Want that Shield that Jimmy Whosit has? Give Link three minutes. No, there's no blood on the shield, what are you talking about? You must exhausted if you're seeing things, maybe you should just skip training all together?
・❥・It's all yours.
・❥・Now, the last person to fall, is Mipha. She's very hesitant to lend her heart out to you, but you know who isn't afraid of showing their emotions on their sleeves for everyone to see?
・❥・Sidon.
・❥・Sidon, in all his little fishy glory, loves you when you come around. when you dawn the Zora mask and swim with him. You play all the games that Mipha won't because they're 'too dangerous'. So when you come around he's ecstatic, dragging his sister down to see you alongside him.
・❥・Mipha tolerates you for the time being, probably still in love with a different knight, making him his own armor. But after she finishes it, it's no longer shaped to Link's form. No. Somewhere along the way it went from being formed to his broader shoulders to being shortened to your own narrower set. It no longer was long enough to fit his torso, instead fitted to your own.
・❥・Her heart had tainted her hands, making armor for you before she even knew what it all meant. The only reason the rest of her catches up is because she sees you with Sidon.
・❥・She watches you swim on you back, with Sidon clinging to your chest, laughter bubbling up from both of you.
・❥・And the last of them falls.
・❥・She aims to give you the armor after the fall of the calamity, but...I'm sure we all know how that'll play out...
・❥・Anyway, between them all, you get very little time to yourself. They are all constantly hovering over you.
・❥・You think you can get away with one of your masks?
・❥・Nice try.
・❥・Your precious Stone Mask? Gone. Confiscated under the order of Princess Zelda King Rhoam.
・❥・Think you can fight your way out?
・❥・Not even the Fierce Deity mask can save you from the champions, their Divine Beasts, and the Triforce of Wisdom and Courage, nor their wielders.
・❥・You wanna run and hide?
・❥・There is not a single inch of Hyrule that one of them doesn't know about.
・❥・You are well and truly trapped under their hold, just where they like you.
・❥・Trapped like a fucking bird in a cage while they fight amongst themselves to see who you stay with.
・❥・ Let's hope they decided quickly before the Calamity decides he's done being patient.
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