#that defensive driving class did give me a strong fear of trains though

[ejacutastic]

Do you know what to do about a burning stoplight now?

no I didn't learn about it in defensive driving either unfortunately

[thatparkinsongirl]

WORLDS.

Friends. No one ever told you life was gonna be this way. The apartment complex has seen better days but it’s a roof over your head and that’s more than enough to be grateful about. There’s a pitch-perfect coffee shop on the corner and the people on your hall are actually fantastic.

Disaster. It’s the end of the world. Everything in ruins. You’re running, running, just trying to survive these last days. You sleep fitfully, even then still alert, one hand tangled with theirs and the other gripped around a gun/wand. Or alternately, you’re the crackpot science team that first discovered something was wrong. You’ve all been locked up behind miles of reinforced steel in the CDC? NSA? Area 51? trying to solve this disaster. You were pulled away from your families, not able to save them, not able to take anything. Coffee, coffee, MRE meals. Microscopes, slides, formulas scribbled across white boards trying not to give in to the impending doom.

Inversion. This is not the world you know. Here, Headmaster Riddle pats a young boy on the shoulder and gives some much needed advice. Here, Grindewald and Dumbledore strike fear in the hearts of all the muggleborns. Here, everything and everyone is just a little off center. Your choices define you. (Borrowed from here)

Darkest. Dark magic thrums through your veins, slick and oily. You crave it, live for it. The forbidden section has been your second home ever since the first time you snuck in second year. You are something to be feared. The magic you play with is going to change the world. It’s not about hurting people (sometimes an unfortunate side effect) or taking over the world necessarily (though that is a goal), it’s about this sickly curiosity in magic. How far can you can go? How many lines can you cross? LOOsely off this in which the golden trio go somewhat dark, https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334630/chapters/14514247. Particularly there’s a whole thing in which they bond themselves to each other in a fit of codependency which just yessssss.

Rich as fuck. Money, money, money. Money is the anthem of success. Fast life, shiny diamonds, the best clothes. Speeding too, too fast down the highway, hand out the window. Cops won’t pull you over; they know better. Your lives are a never-ending party. Super Rich kids by Frank Ocean.

Roadtrip bitches. It’s the summer before university. The last hurrah before you all go your separate ways. Long, too deep conversations around a fire while you all smoke. Roadtrip mix blaring through the speakers. Seeing every weird roadside attraction you can. Talking about growing up, childhood, fears, change. About how you could go a year without speaking to someone but they’re still, always gonna be your best friend.

Political. Is it the west wing or house of cards?? Are they corrupt as fuck, bribing and killing and manipulating their way or they earnest and honest as possible, hearts brimming with desire to make the world something worth living in.

PUnk. idk. Hip hop. DJs. Raves. Tattoo artists. Lighters. Smoke rising up into the sky. Motorcycles and a shit ton of leather. Graffiti in the alleyway behind the bar you own.

Therapy. Post-war, and it’s rough. The physical scars are easy enough to ignore. It’s several months before you break down and join the therapy group at St. Mungos. You all swear you’re only there for the free coffee and doughnuts. Phobias, triggers, panic attacks. Recovery. Late night phone calls cause you had the nightmare again.

Olympics. Fencing? Swimming? Hockey? Gymnastics? Ice skating? Or, I mean, alternately, they could be in the Quidditch world cup. Competitors who like mock each other but also hardcore root for each other. It’s a small community and you all have known each other your entire life. It’s been a fight but here you are on the olympic team, favorites for the gold. 

Doctors. Late night hours. 12 hr shifts. Narcissism. The ultimate god complex. Shitty coffee. Stress. Lost a patient today, saved a patient tomorrow. Fighting over who gets to be second on the awesome heart surgery. A quickie in the on call room because damn your ass looks fine in those scrubs. Quizzing each other over a quick lunch. Complaining about your attending at the bar on your first night off in ages.

Unspeakables. They died, struck down during the war and none of you could bear to survive without them. The plan is put together in the early hours of the morning, feverish. It’s stupid, selfish; all this to save one life. You all join the Unspeakables because the rumor is they’ve been working on creating new time turners. None of you care who suffers for this as long as you can get them back.

How to Get Away With Murder/I Know What You Did Last Summer. You’re tied together by an awful, terrible secret. None of you can risk turning on each other. You’ve made sure of that. Toxic people. Guilt. There’s a body in the morgue with your names on it. It was an accident truly but the covering it up that was deliberate. Maybe some unknown person knows and is blackmailing you all or maybe, maybe they’re just trying to get away with it.

Spaceeeee. Inspired by the Wolf 359 and the Strange Case of Starship Iris. Science. Space. Discovery. Futuristic. Bonding because you’re trapped together in a tiny space ship. Conspiracy. Suicide missions. Technology betraying you. The fate of the entire human race resting on your shoulders. 

Parks&Rec/Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Any job-lawyers, firefighters, coffee-shop. It doesn’t matter because they’ve become a tight-knit family. Work hijinks, skinny love probably, I broke your email after I sent you 20 cat memes in a row. office parties. a hint of danger and risk (ok i admit it i like the firefighter one best). My very first day I was driving around trying to find the staff parking and a car honked, whizzed past me, yelling something crude out the window. It turned out to be my new boss.

Dark Post War. With Voldemort dead, Death Eaters being rounded up left, and peace returned to Wizarding London for the first time in more than a decade, it’s easy to believe that all is well. (The problem is that there is no length that people won’t go to protect their peace once they get it back.) Conscription into the Aurors for eligible wizards is enacted to ensure a strong standing against any lingering Voldemort supporters. A man in a black robe is murdered in the street one night because a young, nervous Auror thought he was a Death Eater. Incredibly harsh sentences handed down for any war crime. When Hogwarts finally reopens its doors over a year after the Battle of Hogwarts, it’s to the complete eradication of the Slytherin house (there are rumors about what happens to the children that the Sorting Hat would’ve sorted into Slytherin) and the addition of core classes. It is not a school but a training ground. Certain shops in both Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade are shut down for “sedition” and “miscreant behavior”, most notably Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. Known war hero, Hermione Granger, is tossed in a Ministry cell for two months for sedition, after she attempts to prevent the arrest of a werewolf. Released war prisoners, people like the Zabini family who did not bear the Dark Mark but who were afflicted with Dark families, and “potential dark wixen” are branded by the Ministry as a warning to the public. All the while, the Ministry reports capturing dangerous Death Eaters, spotting war criminals in Hogsmeade, about danger lurking everywhere. The official statement is that they are trying to right mistakes made after the defeat of Grindewald, if they’d taken a stronger offense then Voldemort never would have happened. What it boils down to though is fear and vengeance and the shifting tide of power. 

Darkest Minds. So I’m finally reading this series since the movie’s coming out soon. I’m only 6 chapters in thus far but yes! this plot! would! definitely! want!

Dark Academia. The Secret History!!! Probably, definitely a secret society!! Mystery! The most pretentious assholes you will ever meet. Arguments over classic literature. Speaking latin to each other so no one else knows what they’re saying. Tweed jackets. Fall in New England. Tea. No i don’t own a tv I believe they’re corrupting the youths’ minds. Insomnia. A 40 page treatise on the Odyssey. 

Alternate Fifth Year. In a world where the young slytherin fifth years spend the summer of between fourth and fifth year, watching their parents with disgust and trepidation. They are ambitious, devoted to self-preservation and they are smart enough to see that following the Dark Lord is a road to ruin. Lucius Malfoy comes back from Death Eater meetings, shaken, Mr. Nott Senior with a long cut down his face. No, the slytherins have no interest in a life like that. It’s too bad then that they’re not even being taught Defense in school. It’s luck that they hear about the group of students that have started practical magic in secret. Canon divergent fifth year where the slytherins join Dumbledore’s Army. Can start after fifth year too but like that’s where it diverges. 

Back Home*. When they say you can’t ever go home again, they mean it, because home isn’t a static location, it’s a word full of extra connotation. It’s tied to a specific time and emotion and feeling. A group of friends return to their small hometown for the first time in eight years for the funeral of a mutual friend. Some of them have vaguely kept in touch but for the most part despite how close they were growing up they’ve all drifted apart. A story about loss, growing up, nostalgia, fear, and friendship. You won’t ever the same kind of friends you had when you were young. 

Shadow Children (Margaret Peterson Haddix). Futuristic, dystopian. Every family is allowed ONLY 2 children yet secret 3rd children do exist, living in the shadows and scraps. Some are lucky enough to get a fake identity and freedom. So I read this series when I was like 11 or something and they’ve kind of haunted me ever since. I’d probably wind up disappointed if I ever tried to reread them but whatever.  Anyway, I’ve been thinking about the first book lately, in regards to all the school kids protesting gun violence and the people in power just looking away as more children die, and just viscerely reminds of the horror I had reading the end of the first book in which (SPOILER) one of the main characters goes to a protest on the front lawn of the white house esque government building, convinced that if enough them protest, if they demand justice, they can get it. Each and every person at the protest is gunned down. For   young me who had largely only read books where everything wound up happy as long as you were brave and honest and full of spirit, this was an enormous shock. Idk how this would work but yes!

CONNECTIONS. 

Bodyguard. Mighty, mighty need for this. You’re the ambassador or president or queen or minister’s kid and your parents hire a bodyguard. You resent their protection. Ruining your semblance of a normal life. Judging you. You can’t help slipping their protection. Heart to hearts. Shared truths. Grudging respect and whatever. Ugh and the sexual tension, more alive than a power line. The attack comes out of left field and it’s a mess. (This. So down to play this out as whatever characters in any world)

Death. Straight up angst here. Final battle death scene. One second they’re right there and the next there’s a flash. You hold your hands over the gaping wound, screaming for a healer but you both know it’s over. Tears mixing with blood. Maybe they become a Hogwarts ghost. (Any character, any sort of relationship-married, dating, siblings, best friends, we shouldve dated but now your dying my arms)

Toxic. Do I feel guilty about having a thing for fictional toxic relationships? Yes, yes I do. But does that change anything? no. “Oh, we broke ages ago.” But everyone rolls their eyes when you say it. Because neither of you can stop and everyone knows. A couple of drinks in and you can’t keep your hands off each other. There’s still jealousy and toxicness and protectiveness and posssesiveness. There’s a dent in the wall from the time you threw a lamp at them. And god, if you could just make it work but love just isn’t enough sometimes. I’d tattoo your name on my arm but i wouldn’t marry you(Any characters)

Married in Vegas. You two hate each other’s guts. You’re constantly trying to one up each other in front of the boss. And you both always have a different way of approaching a problem. You steal candy bars out of their desk and they keep getting you locked out of your computer somehow. But your both the best so of course your selected for the Vegas conference work is holding. What happens next?? well?? a lot of alcohol, you know that. Neither of you quite remember but those rings on your fingers might mean something.

Romeo and juliet. Mob vs. cops or Death eaters vs. Order.  Forbidden romance. Secret meetings. My uncle killed your father. You have a body count that would make them blush. Maybe you’ll turn states evidence for them. Maybe they’re just using you. (any)

Softsoftsoftsoft. Bakery and coffee shop across from each other. Skinny love. A lot of Troye Sivan and Hayley Kiyoko playing. Longing stares, blushing, awkwardness. All your friends say they are definitely into you but??? Or alternately, you co-own the bakery coffee shop and you’ve been dating since third year and your friends all want to kill you. Because ughhh noone should still be that in love. Some serious codependency and domesticity here. Like if anyone’s seen How I Met Your Mother-Lily and Marshall. (any)

Misunderstandings. Classic trope. Of course, you thought they were dating. They live together, steal food from each others plates, share sweaters, tease each other relentlessly, constantly physically affectionate. Really what were you supposed to think. Cue the miscommunication and needless pining and hilarity. (any)

Bonnie and Clyde. Gringotts robbers? Who knows but you’re criminals and you’re good at it. Three steps ahead of the aurors. Careless laughter, drunk on adrenaline. Drive it like you stole it by the Glitch Mob!! and End Credits by Eden!! (any)

Siblings. I’m sorry that all the others are relationship plots because I really do high key love a good best friends/siblings plot. Real siblings or we grew up together and i would murder someone for you siblings. They know each other better than the backs of their hands. Secrets are for other people. Soft plot-just them taking care of each other after a tragedy. Tough love-you fucked off to Paris because you couldn’t deal with your life and they dragged your ass back because when you were kids they promised not to let you make any irreversible mistakes. protective-just. they keep doing dangerous shit and risking their life and you have to knock some sense into their thick skull. Ridiculous-they are everyone’s worst nightmare, stuck together like glue, always causing trouble. Spitting gum down at people from the astronomy tower. Finding ways to beat the anti-cheating quills. Actually helping your sibling get rid of a body. (any)

Best friends/Squad. You all meet at the bar religiously after work. Got each other’s back still, always, forever. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to lose them. (all; I watched the whole first season of golden girls last night so I’ve got a lotta squad feelings. )

Parent and child. Honestly just this song. Heirloom by Sleeping at last!!!! You’re both trying your best but there’s always going to be this tension, these mistakes on both sides. Regrets, nostalgia, angst, softness, forgiveness. (any, but this song always gives me Draco-Scorpius and Harry-Albus vibes)

Eighth Year Partners. PostWar. After a review of Hogwarts’ records, it’s decided that the school year of 97-98 will have to be repeated for all students. In an effort to bring the students of all houses together to promote healing and unity, a random buddy system is set up. A Ravenclaw sixth year paired with a Gryffindor fifth year. A Hufflepuff and Slytherin second year paired. So on and so forth. Though Headmaster McGonagall believed it was a good opportunity, she was loathe to force any student into something they didn’t want, certainly not after the past few years. Thus her only fast rule for the partnerships was sitting together for two meals a week. Some took full advantage of the system, studying together, attending each other’s quidditch games. Others sat in stony silence during the required time only.

@ginevraxweasleyy @marcusflvnt @occlumensism

[ruffoverthinksthings]

What about the other Aks like Doug, Chad or Audrey?

Doug

He’sin the mines, shining bright from all the safety lights attached tothe foundations, no longer of wood but all manner of polymers andalloys. The tunnels extend on for miles in every direction, deeperand deeper into the seemingly endless mountain his family works at.

Theysaid it was never this deep before, back before the Great Uniting.

Whenhis family just dug diamonds because that’s what dwarves did,before there were safety inspectors, lawyers, and jewelers and theirassistants coming in by the droves, putting all the diamonds andprecious jewels they mined through a second thorough examination muchto Doc’s perennial dismay, telling them what minerals they neededto mine than letting them decide, before driving away with all oftheir day’s haul.

(Andit’s only very recently with Ben’s new orders that they leftbehind a check, or they saw money coming into their new bankaccounts.)

Heis confused.

Hehasn’t worked in the mines in years, ever since the conversationwith Doc and Snow White that led to him staying at home being taughtall the things fully human children were expected and legallyrequired to know. He is not wearing a uniform, either his uncles andfather’s traditional wear, or the more modern counterparts forpart-time human workers and inspectors, but he has a pickaxe in hishands, and a mining helmet on his head.

Heonly becomes more confused when he sees his name engraved on them,the well-worn grooves in the pickaxe’s handle that hit his handsperfect, even though he doesn’t remember owning either of them.

Hefinds one of the Royal Guards stationed here, a deterrent againstanyone getting greedy and pocketing more than their fair share. “Issomething the matter?” the guard asks before he can speak.

“Yes,”he replies, “I need to get out of here.”

“Areyou sick? Are you injured? Is there an emergency?” the guard asks,confused and concerned.

“No,”he replies, “I’m not supposed to be here.”

Theguard laughs. “Well isn’t that the silliest answer I’ve everheard! Of course you belong here—you clocked in for work,didn’t you?”

Hedoesn’t remember a thing, but the guard shows him their copy of thevisitors logs, shows him punching in on-time, along with the rest ofhis family, and most of the human workers.

“See?You are supposed to be here.”

“No!”he cries. “I’m not! Ask Snow White, Uncle Doc, Queen Belle,King Benjaimn! They know I’mnot supposed to be working here, I’m supposed to be in AuradonPrep! I might be late for class right now!”

Theguard looks at him like he had just grown seven heads, spit fire, andbegan juggling those flaming balls of bile whilst balancing on onefoot. “O-kay… let me just get my supervisor--”

“No!”he cries, his fingers tightening on the pickaxe. “Call them!Snow White, Uncle Doc, Queen Belle, or King Ben! They’ll know Idon’t belong here!”

Theguard puts their hand on the hilt of their sword as they take a fewsteps back. “Okay, okay, please calm down! I’ll… go see what Ican do! Why don’t you go mine for some jewels for a while, get thestress out that way?”

Hewatches them as they nervously walk to a phone-line, walkingbackwards to keep their eyes on him. He doesn’t stop until theguard gets off the phone, and tells him, “Alright, management saysthey’ve called them all, and they’ll answer back as soon as youcan.”

Sohe sits down, and waits, and waits, and as he waits, the guards andthe miners change shifts, hundreds of faces coming in and out of themine, for what seems to be days worth of shifts, or the shortest workhours he’s ever seen, and yet he never sees his uncles, his father,or his cousins.

Hewaits, and waits, and waits, feels the boredom weigh down on him,gnawing away at him, making his whole body itch and ache for action,until he can take no more, and he finds a vein and starts mining forjewels.

Itis painful, it is difficult—he is not a full-dwarf, nor did hereceive the gift of their legendary constitution and strength, justtheir small size. Sweat pours down his brow, his arms burn, his backbegins to ache, but he finds he can’t stop mining…

Hefeels himself begin to grow weaker with each chink in the rock, hisbody and features becoming older right before his very eyes; he tellshimself that any moment now that the guards would come back and sayBen, Belle, Snow White, or Doc had finally called back to clear upthis mess, and it was time to leave the mines like he’d left themso many years ago.

Butthey never do, and so he mines, digs, and works, till his ancient,bony, wrinkly body finally collapses from exhaustion.

Chad

Heis in the main hall of the Honeymoon Castle, dressed in his princelysuit, standing across his parents  and a mysterious boy.

Heis almost exactly like him in every way, except for the fact that hiseyes are a brilliant glimmering green like emeralds.

“Chad,this is your cousin, Daniel Darling,” his mother says. “From nowon, he’ll be living with us here at the Honeymoon Castle.”

“Justcall me Dan, Chad,” Dan says, extending his hand and a genuine,friendly smile.

Hetakes it, returning the smile, for that is what princes do, what hehas been taught, what he needs to do, even if there issomething about Dan that irks him in ways few things nor persons havebeen able to.

Timebecomes flexible, his perception foggy and hazy as he suddenly findshimself and Dan training in the courtyard, sabers on sabers, arespectable crowd of servants and visitors to the castle gatheredaround him.

Heis confused, but still, he bows, as is the proper tradition, and thenthey fight, a theatrical, over-the-top show filled with morebackflips, pirouettes, and harsh, witty language than would beallowed in an actual swordfight with real lives at stake.

Hedoes well, he is confident, he is happy; the crowds are cheering forhim as they always do, and he knows that soon enough, he will find anopening in Dan’s defense to defeat him, force him into submissionin the flashiest, most over the top way possible.

Buthe doesn’t.

Hisopponent, once on his level, suddenly starts pulling more and moreadvanced and precise techniques, feats that even the swordmasters ofold will have trouble replicating even if they were still in theirprime.

Hegoes from figuring out what move would be flashiest, to what wouldend the fight quickly, to what would stop Dan’s blows from landing,now coming down on him blinding fast, his blade just flashes in theair.

Finally,he can defend himself no more, and he falters. Dan knocks his swordout of his hand, and soon he feels the point of Dan’s bladedangerously close to his throat—a mere swallow, and he’d cuthimself on it.

Thecrowd applauses as he is left frozen in fear, Dan laughs, lowers hisblade, and stands back and bows as is the custom.

Inshock, he does not bow back, standing there stupid as the audiencerushes out from their seats, showering Dan with love and praise. Heis pushed aside by the mob, staggering back and tripping on the dirtbefore falling flat on his ass.

Danand the mob seem to rise up above him as if they were hundreds ofstories tall, his grinning, handsome, beaming face peeking out fromtop of his adoring crowd. He can’t hear anything but all thepraise, the adoration, the declarations of love Dan is getting—noone even notices him if a foot happens to come burying into hisstomach or his crotch on their way to join the mob.

Hisfather and mother come out, both applauding, showering praise uponDan, giving him all the love, the attention, and the affection thathe usually received from them; he watches and listens in horror asthey declare that they were so impressed by his feat of skill in thatduel that by royal decree, Dan would take the throne when his fatherretired, not him.

Hetries to scramble up to his feat, but all he does is kick up the dirtand dust of the dueling pit, choke and blind himself, turning himinto a filthy, sweaty, dusty, crying mess, no longer the image ofhandsomeness, confidence, and perfection he normally was.

Astrong hand pulls him out of the blinding storm, and into freshair—Dan’s.

Hesmiles down at him, now hundreds of stories taller than him, butstill as genuine and friendly as ever as he says:

“Cheerup, cousin: not everyone can be the best.”

Hehas no cousin named Daniel Darling, and the families with the nameare either not of royalty, or the nobles were of an entirelydifferent dimension than the one Cinderella had come from.

Exceptingexceptional circumstances like a prince going mad, becoming infirm ordead, or voluntarily giving up his birthright, the current monarchscannot suddenly change the line of succession on a whim, even to ablood relative.

Inreality, whether it be another duel, a debate, or simply minglingwith the guests at a party, excepting that of coming up againstAudrey or Ben, he is always the champion, the most eloquent,the most charming of them all.

Noneof the thoughts soothe him, nor would they ever.

Audrey

Sheis in the music room, sitting at the grand piano, one of her manyinstructors beside her.

“Playit please, Audrey,” the instructor says—she does not know whothey are, what they are, what their name is, and though that bothersher because she always remembers, like every princess should, shefocuses on the sheet music before her.

Sheplays, her fingers dancing effortlessly on the keys, beautiful musicflittering into the air, exactly the way the composer imagined themto be, every note at the right time and at the right speed, herplaying completely, absolutely perfect.

Herinstructor smiles, dancing along to the tune, up until Audrey getsthe last note wrong.

Itis a minor flub, a key slightly higher than was supposed to be hit,barely noticeable at all.

Herinstructor looks disappointed, but smiles, and says, “Play itagain, please, Audrey.”

Shesmiles apologetically at her, before looking back at the sheet music,and playing it again. Once more, she does it perfectly, her backstraight, her motions seemingly effortless, that confident smile onher face like every performer should have.

Then,once more, she gets the last note wrong.

Itis louder this time, much louder than any sound the piano should beable to make, the very air around them seemingly jerking from howwrong that note was.

Herinstructor looks disappointed, but smiles, and says, “Play itagain, please, Audrey.”

Shefeels herself begin to sweat, takes a deep breath and lets it goslowly, before she returns to the sheet music. Again, she plays, andagain, she gets it wrong, this time at the second to the last note.She tries again, and again, and again, the wrong notes getting louderand louder with each mistake, till they’re horrible, awfulscreeching noises that chill the bone, such sharp, stabbing,agonizing pain.

Beadsof sweat begin to pour down her head. Her hands begin to shake, herfingers no longer flying so much as they are frantically scrambling.Her eyes dart between the piano and the sheet music, the notes andthe keys seemingly dancing before her very eyes, shifting andchanging—A sharp now, B flat the next, now in E Minor. She feelsher hair start to become frazzled, her lips bleed as her teeth sinkever deeper into it, tears start to sting her eyes.

Soonthe whole music room is in chaos, every single note she presses adiscordant, mutant abomination that could scarcely be called “music,”the air shaking and ripping apart with each sound, the notes on thesheet music and the keys themselves coming to life, laughing at her,taunting her, jeering at her and making bets among themselves abouthow soon she’ll fail this time and how badly.

She’scrying now, unable to see for all the tears pouring down her eyes,but still she plays, still she desperately, blindly tries to find thenotes, play the music perfectly, effortlessly, and beautifully, likea princess should, like she should always be, like she always neededto be.

Andevery time she falters, every time the wrong notes threaten to renderher deaf among other horrible fates, as the music room crumbles androts around her, her instructor looks disappointed, but smiles, andsays,

“Playit again, please, Audrey.”

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 62, July 2017

On Monday morning, I had my first Healthy Cooking on a Budget class for Term 3 at Balla Balla Community Centre in Cranbourne East. Despite recognising half the people from last term, I was still feeling a bit anxious and uneasy. I was like a strongly bonded molecule being unable to loosen up and relax. I was working with Kevin today who is also very friendly like myself but because I don’t know him that well, my guard instantly went up. It takes me a long time to warm up to and open up to people.

Our cooking teacher Jodie was her usual chirpy and bubbly self. I really didn’t want to bring up her mother’s death or funeral as these are sensitive subjects but it seems like she’s doing better now. Today we ended up making three different dishes from one roasted BBQ chicken. Watching Jodie cutting up the chicken into segments felt like an animal anatomy demonstration. We used the breast for the wraps, the drumsticks and wings for the pie and the bones for the stock/soup.

We started off by making the shortcrust pastry. It took me a while to get used to working with rubbing flour and butter together to make breadcrumbs but I got there eventually. We then cut up a few different vegetables including celery, onions, capsicum and carrots, frying them off in a saucespan for the pie filling. We also used a pressure cooker to make our chicken stock which only takes about 25 minutes. http://www.ballaballa.com.au/progra...

On Monday night, I had my Strength Training session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. To be honest, tonight wasn’t my best performance of all time. Far from it in fact. However, I did learn from valuable lessons about myself so I can consider that to be a really positive thing. Part of it was me trying too hard and the expectations on myself being highly unrealistic. Sometimes you’re just not going to be able to lift that weight. That’s life.

WARM-UP...I actually started really strong with my warm-up exercises. Beginning with a few yoga-esque poses including wide-legged side stretch with overarm, forward fold and twisted calf stretches. But when it came to doing the kettle bell deadlifts and pull aparts with the resistance band, I was having some issues with my lower back. I was also struggling to keep my form and I was beginning to get frustrated with myself.

DEVELOPMENT...This frustration continued into my deadlifts. Today I started doing 5 rounds of 1, maximum weight. I was overthinking and second-guessing myself a lot, even with sliding the plates onto the bar. I just felt so stupid because I couldn’t do it properly. Still, I wasn’t going to cry and I wasn’t going to give up. I was doing okay with the lighter weights but when it came to do 100kg, I was on the verge of losing my form and not being able to do it. I got fatigued and worked up even though I just wanted to get it done and smash the deadlifts. It just didn’t happen for me today.

WORKOUT...At this point, Luke decided that it was unsafe for me to continue with the deadlifting and I can completely understand that. But of course, my mind had other ideas after I was strapped into a 15kg weight vest and told to run through Intrepid Drive and back around the block...”Oh no! Luke’s disappointed in me because I didn’t complete the deadlifts and now he’s punishing me.” But this thought was beyond ridiculous and obviously untrue.

Still I wasn’t feeling that great about myself in the moment. Running was a struggle both physically and mentally. I also had to be mindful about vehicles reversing out of driveways and turning at the interaction so I had to slow down a few times. When I got back, Luke explained why he changed my workout. I know that he had good intentions for me. If he was truly disappointed in me, he would have cracked the shits and walked off.

It was like a reflection and a wake-up call at the same time. Reflecting on the fact that I’ve come a long way since I started training with Luke and dropping 17kg which was almost the amount of weight I was carrying with the vest on. He also wanted to me clear my head and hopefully get myself into a better headspace rather than continue with the deadlifts and most likely not get anywhere in my current mental state.  https://www.facebook.com/breakawayf...

After the session, I had a one-on-one discussion with Denee Lalouette. The look of concern on my face must have matched my thoughts...”Oh shit! I’m in trouble. This is going to be a Principal’s office type conversation.” But of course that was just my fear and anxiety talking. He essentially just wanted to clear the air with me after Thursday night and get me to understand his intentions behind what he was telling me.

I did take things the wrong way and got defensive at him. Simply, my emotions and my ego got in the way and I misinterpreted everything he said to me. I saw it all in a negative, harsh and judgmental light as if he was attacking my character. The four principals that he discussed with me are: What you think you become. The world is a mirror of your life. Every battle is won before it is fought and Life is a paradox. It was tough trying to articulate myself to him but I still managed to be open and honest with him about the beliefs I held within. https://www.facebook.com/compiapp/

Driving from Berwick to Frankston South was a bit of a challenge in terms of peak hour traffic but still manageable. I was a little worried that I might be late making it to my Meditation class at Brahma Kumaris Centre for Spiritual Learning, The Peninsula but Angie is pretty casual about lateness so it wouldn’t be a big deal. Typically, I got there a few minutes before 7. Phew!

Tonight we discussed another huge topic which followed on from last week’s class. We did a recap about Soul’s being eternal beings which have original qualities including peace, love, joy, wisdom, purity and innocence. Next Angie talked about how the faculties of the soul (Mind, Behaviour, Intellect and Sanskaras) all interact and influence each other. The most important point was that the intellect part was responsible for changing the cycle and whether our thoughts and feelings are positive or negative ones.

She then discussed the concept of the Soul World where souls spent time to rest before leaving and moving into the Physical World and into another body. The soul is like a fully-charged battery with all original qualities. But after many births and rebirths, these qualities deplete and lose energy. They are then covered up by Vices (Ego, Greed, Lust, Attachment and Anger) which are not lasting and not fulfilling.

The last part of the class was dedicated to the Supreme Soul, which is the existence of a higher being that is looked up to. It is known by many names including God, Jehovah, Bubba, He, Him, Father etc. The role of the Supreme Soul is to provide an energy source and connect to other souls. It is in a state of total peace all the time. This part definitely challenged my current spiritual beliefs but at the same time I still found the information interesting. http://brahmakumaris.org.au/events/...

On Tuesday night, I attended at Vinyasa Yoga class with Aaron Petty at Personal Performance Training Centre in Berwick. I’ve been practicing yoga for about 8 years now and I absolutely love experiencing different styles, teachers and venues hence why I decided to give this class a try. It was a fully booked class with about 11 students and it was held in the upstairs training room.

Being a Vinyasa styled practice, I knew that this would be quite an intense, high energy class. Thankfully it was also a judgement free zone. In fact, a few people were laughing at themselves when they couldn’t hold their balance in Aeroplane Pose and Flip The Dog Pose. The main thing was that everyone was giving it a go. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t quite keep up with the Flowing Sequences or be able to lift your feet up in Crow Pose. These poses are meant to be challenging so there’s no shame if you can’t do something (advice I really need to take myself sometimes!).

Aaron’s approach is very easy going and flexible (pardon the pun). Unlike most yoga teachers, he eliminates most of the Sanskrit jargon and focuses more on which muscles to activate during each pose. I was sweating heaps through the class and I was thinking thank god this wasn’t a hot yoga or bikram yoga class or else the entire room would be melting (It’s getting hot in here!). Aaron is also very knowledgeable, explaining the benefits about Pigeon Pose including the promotion of healing by releasing tension through the hip flexes.

The toughest part of the class for me was definitely the flowing sequences which included the following poses:

Flowing Sequence 1...Forward fold, Half Lift, High Lunge, Plank, Chaturanga, Cobra/Up Dog, Downward Facing Dog.

Flowing Sequence 2...Chair pose, Aeroplane pose, Crescent Warrior, Warrior 2, Reverse Warrior, Side angle pose, Triangle pose.

I also appreciated Aaron’s choice of music which was a mixture of 60’s inspired ambient funk to modern lounge and chill out tracks. During my relaxation, I began to feel weightless and could feel the vibrations of the music through my body. It was quite an unusual sensation but it was quite a pleasant experience and I was able to just let go of my yoga practice. Hopefully PPTC makes yoga a regular thing because I really enjoyed Aaron’s style of yoga.

On Thursday afternoon, I had a Remedial Massage session with Brendan Rose at MyoMAX in Berwick. This week, I’ve really been burning the candle at both ends and by the time I walked into the waiting room, I was ready to fall in a heap. I was feeling flustered and worn up so this massage couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I was particularly sore in my shoulders, arms, upper back and sides especially after my yoga class on Tuesday night.

I was feeling a lot more comfortable and a lot less nervous than my first session with Brendan. When he asked how my week’s been and how I’ve been feeling, I honestly didn’t know where to begin. Suffice it to say, I’m trying to balance out my time better rather than cram everything into a couple of days. I made a spur of the moment decision to pick Sia for today’s background music. She’s a great singer songwriter and I needed something to wind me down.

Brendan was very thorough when it came to releasing the tension and stiffness through my back muscles. I think through Crossfit/Strength training and my own self-development, I’ve learned to “toughen up” and deal with the pain. Plus I trust that Brendan knows what he’s doing. No pain, no gain as they say. He wants me to work on straightening my spine out using the foam roller. We also worked on my squat depth and squat technique. I felt a little self-conscious about it but I was going for it. I didn’t care how many times it took to get it right. https://www.myomax.com.au/

On Friday morning, I had my Strength Training session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. Today was another ordinary session for me as a week’s worth of stress had accumulated on top of me. Sleeping in, I was rushing out the door at 8.30am and of course I got stuck in peak hour traffic along Clyde Road. The only thing that was calming my nerves was the new Feist album I was listening to in the car. Besides that, I was feeling anxious about not making it to UFT on time.

By the time I saw Luke, I was already mentally exhausted. I was having difficulty articulating how I felt inside and just wasn’t feeling myself today at all. I was even getting jealous about Luke having side conversations whilst I was training because the attention wasn’t on me. It was really bothering me. I began questioning whether UFT PLAYgrounds was the right place for me because I just didn’t fit in here. Once the “negative thought” train has left the station, it’s very hard for me to get it to stop even when I’m slamming on the brakes.

WARM-UP...These exercises were a mixed bag for me today. Starting with the rowing machine, I had to do an 8 round TABATA (20 seconds on, 10 seconds off). I tried to focus but I was getting distracted by the conversation Luke was having. I was also getting frustrated by how much I was struggling with my single arm rows and could feel the emotions festering up inside of me. The awkward silence was extremely loud between Luke and I but I really didn’t want to bring up my issues today. Instead, I tried hard to channel my energy into the workout and feel a bit better about myself.

DEVELOPMENT...Today I was working on my bench press again, this time doing 5 rounds of single reps at 50kg. This was a really heavy weight for me so I really needed to dig deep mentally. After the first few rounds, I decided to focus my attention on taking deep breaths in and out, visualising myself lifting the bar up in a straight line without struggling. This was a much better and more productive way of using my rest time and thankfully it paid off.

I felt really proud of myself for managing to turn this negative session into a positive one just by believing in myself and blocking out all other mental distractions. It’s been a tough week for me and it’s even harder trying to explain it to your personal trainer. Sometimes it’s just easier to go within and sit with the silence, as uncomfortable as it may feel.

Straight after my PT session, I went to the Fountain Gate Hotel for the Denise Drysdale Xmas in July show. My parents were already there inside the function room but I was only a few minutes late and didn’t miss much. It was a surreal experience meeting Denise in person after seeing her on countless morning shows such as Ernie & Denise and Studio 10.

She performed a one hour show filled with songs (What a Wonderful World, Tell Him, Jingle Bells, Silent Night), funny stories about her life and plenty of rude jokes relating to menopause, breasts and surgery. This was exactly when I needed in that moment, positive energy and laughter. After the show, we lined up at the buffet table and filled our plates up with salads, roast lamb, pasta, lasagna, roast potatoes, carrots and broccoli.

On Friday night, I went down to my friend Mandi Herauville’s gym for my first Bootcamp class at The Yard Strength & Fitness in Pakenham. I was still feeling emotional and not thinking clearly when I arrived. Unloading with Mandi before the session tonight helped immensely. Sometimes you just need to laugh about shit in order to let it go and feel better about it and that’s exactly what we did. I feel bad whenever I get defensive and annoyed at somebody else because then I become the victim. It’s difficult whenever you’re in a hypersensitive state to see things objectively and that’s what happened today.

I met a few of Mandi’s other clients tonight who were all really friendly. Despite feeling mentally drained and worn out, I decided to participate in the Bootcamp class. The warm-up consisted of a rope walk, sit ups, push ups, mountain climbers, squats and lunges. Next we worked on our dead lifting technique, doing 3 rounds of 10 reps. I’m still working on my form and technique but it has improved heaps and I was feeling good about them tonight.

For the workout, we did a circuit with 10 different exercises including: sumo dead lifts, overhead sandbag lifts, fit ball crunches, skipping, leg raises, jumping over the rope, boxing, ladder jumps/runs, pike push ups and renegades. We had to do 3 rounds each and it was all self-paced. We all had a lot of fun with Mandi cracking jokes and singing along to Drake (You used to call me on your cellphone) whilst working hard and sweating heaps.

We ended the session by doing a series of stretches and a brief guided meditation by Mandi. I really enjoyed myself tonight and I’m glad that I made the effort to come out despite how shitty I was feeling inside at the time. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and now I’ve discovered a new safe place to go to both to hang out and to train. https://www.facebook.com/TheYardStr...

“There’s one thing that I never did, its called giving up. It goes on and on and I felt so alone. As I grew up and grew old life began to unfold. Heavy hearts filled with hope and the truth will be. That there is something there but nothing wrong with me. And the truth will be that there is nothing wrong with me.” Dream on Dreamer - Taking Chances, Breaking Free (2011)

“Sometimes I take another breath, Another step to embrace what I have. Then I stare at you, staring back. And I know that I'm not dead. It takes a voice to make a change. It takes courage to not be the same. If the world is silenced today, I make sure to scream my name.” Dream on Dreamer - Don’t Lose Your Heart (2015)

[corneliussteinbeck]

GGS Spotlight: Megan Matal

Name:  Megan Matal          Age: 32 Location: Mountain View, CA (one of the cities in Silicon Valley)

How did you find out about Girls Gone Strong? Several years ago, I noticed one of my friends had followed the Girls Gone Strong page on Facebook. I was drawn to the uplifting messages which were in stark contrast to another fitness page I followed that primarily shared fitspo. Upon finding GGS, I unfollowed that other page.

What does being a Girl Gone Strong mean to you? Owning my choices regardless of whether those choices take me further away from or closer to my goals. Lifting other women up and surrounding myself with individuals who don’t tear me down. Persisting in spite of setbacks and fear.

Tell us a little bit about yourself… My job falls under the umbrella description “rocket science.” I work as an engineer for a large defense contractor primarily doing missile system design, modeling, and analysis.

I love doing CrossFit, hiking (day hikes and backpacking), traveling, reading books (sci-fi and fantasy novels as well as various non-fiction books), watching movies, playing online video games, and spending too much time reading about current events on the Internet.

How did you get introduced to strength training, and how long have you been training? I was introduced to CrossFit as a concept around 2004. It wasn’t until May 2008 that I actually started trying to lift heavy weights. I joined a CrossFit gym in August 2008, and have been loving it ever since.

Favorite Lift: Power cleans. I love ripping a heavy weight off the ground and having it end up on my shoulders. It’s an awesome feeling.

Top 3 things you must have with you at the gym or in your gym bag: I don’t have a top three, just a top one: my custom jump rope that is sized to my height. It makes double-unders possible!

Do you prefer to train alone or with others? Why? I really like the community aspect of CrossFit. I enjoy everyone cheering each other on and celebrating the shared successes.

Best compliment you’ve received lately: A few months ago, another woman complimented me on how fast and fluid my burpee-box jumps were. This compliment came as a huge surprise, as I generally consider burpees to be one of my worst movements. I recognized that I was indeed moving pretty well that day, so the compliment was a nice reminder that when we work on our weaknesses, we can turn them into strengths.

Most recent compliment you gave someone else: To the woman working hard doing wall balls beside me during a workout: “I noticed you did the prescribed weights for that workout. Good job! Very impressive!” Obviously, I said this after the workout was over. I would never want to interrupt a woman in the middle of her workout (like so many other people seem to think is OK to do).

Favorite way to treat yourself: Getting a professional massage.

Three words that best describe you: Analytical, good-humored, balanced.

What inspires and motivates you? I’m inspired by women in their 70s and 80s who are still physically active and/or active in their communities. I want to be like them when I’m that age.

When it comes to choices about my health, fitness, and experiences, I try to keep the long view in mind.

Describe a typical day in your life… 6:30 a.m. — Wake up, throw on gym clothes, and arrive at the gym a few minutes before class starts so I can foam roll. 7–8 a.m. — CrossFit. Drive home, shower and get ready for work. Eat breakfast, which usually consists of a banana, two eggs, and coffee with creamer. 9:45 a.m. — Get to work. 1:30 p.m. — I get hungry around this time, so I eat lunch, then continue to work. 3:30 p.m. — Go for a quick 5-10 minute walk (because I’ve likely been sitting all day and am getting restless). 6 p.m. — Eat a small snack like some nuts, or a slice of an apple. 7 p.m. — Leave work. 7:45 p.m. — Make and eat dinner, then watch a TV show for an hour with my boyfriend. 10 p.m. — Try to get to bed and be asleep by 10:30.

Note: This only describes a day in which I go to the gym on a work day. This (work and gym) only occurs twice per week. I could not maintain this schedule every day. I also go to the gym on the weekend.

When and why did you join Strongest You Coaching? I joined Strongest You Coaching in June 2016. I had looked into it in January of that year, but balked at the price. Between January and June, I tried working on things on my own, but I fell back into the only habit I knew: restrict my diet based on the Paleo framework, and when that became too restrictive for me, binge for a week on all “forbidden” foods. I just couldn’t keep doing that.

Also, around this same time, I realized the difference in caloric needs for my weight at the time and my preferred weight was only 67 calories per day. I could easily maintain my higher weight, but I needed to learn how to maintain the lower weight. I didn’t need a diet plan, I needed a maintenance plan that I could practice for the rest of my life.

What has been your biggest challenge in the Strongest You Coaching program? I almost quit due to the vegetable habit! Because I’m analytical, I did the math on how many meals I could “fail” to practice the habit, and I felt consistently nailing the habit would be impossible. Also, I was eating mostly vegetables at dinner so the measure of success for the habit felt unfair. But my coach explained why getting vegetables at more meals was important and how to measure success (I didn’t have to eat a salad at every meal. Also, French fries don’t count.)

This habit has become a lot easier over time. In fact, I think I had some mental blocks that prevented me from being creative with the habit due to my mindset regarding my understanding and desire to still abide by the rules of Paleo. My coach helped point out the ways in which I could be more flexible and break out of my old mindset. For instance, I thought having a sandwich for lunch would prevent me from getting enough vegetables (without also getting a side salad), but my coach pointed out that I could load up my sandwich with vegetables, and that would be adequate. This type of thinking was revolutionary to me.

What has been your biggest success in the Strongest You Coaching program? I am really proud of some of my fitness gains — specifically, my deadlift and push-ups. In early 2009, I pulled my old deadlift PR at 240 pounds. In April 2009, I broke my left humerus while attempting a muscle-up. Between 2009 and 2016, every time I tried to deadlift close to my old PR, I would injure my back and be in pain for a week. Then, thanks to the SYC program, I hit a deadlift of 265 pounds in October 2016 without any pain! As for push-ups, my left arm had a long recovery after the fracture, including hoping it would heal properly on its own, the working of scar tissue, and a year of shoulder impingement. In March 2017 I completed an unbroken set of 20 pushups. It just demonstrates what is obvious: good coaching and putting in the work will allow you to reach your goals.

What do you like best about the Strongest You Coaching community? It’s a really supportive environment of women with diverse experiences who draw upon those experiences to give advice and encouragement.

What is the habit you’re currently working on most? Staying mindful while eating. There are so many distractions that I have to constantly remind myself to stay present and pay attention to my food. I cannot go through life on a cycle of binging, restricting, guilt, and stress. Continually practicing moderation and mindfulness is my key out of that cycle and the promise that I don’t have to go back.

How has Strongest You Coaching changed your life? It really has healed my relationship with food. I have learned how to do moderation (though it is still a work in practice). My favorite phrase has been “I can have that!” with the caveat that if I don’t like it, I should not continue eating it. Or if I do like it, savor it and eat it slowly. When I only knew the “on diet-off diet” cycle, moderation sounded insane. But, with a lot of work, I changed my mindset, and it feels really good to be out of that cycle.

What would you tell a woman who’s nervous about joining Strongest You Coaching? I’m really glad I finally allowed myself to get help. I consider myself strong and independent, and as such, I don’t always listen to the advice of others. It was really hard to accept that I didn’t have all the answers. So, I signed up, listened to my coach, and did the hard work. Then, miraculously, a few months into the Strongest You Coaching program, I suddenly felt a sense of peace with food and my body.

This peace of mind was worth every penny spent and more.

Click to Register Learn more about Strongest You Coaching

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