#that being said I am (begins breakdancing) mental

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Also guys, about the locations of the podcasts: they are real places. 100%. They are real places somewhere in the Nowhere - most importantely, somewhen.

Prophetic dreams are very real in Little Nightmares and they are things that often happen: however, I do not believe this is yet the case for Noone. She describes feeling sensations and smells multiple times, something that can only happen if the plane of reality one is in is... well. Real. She also describes feeling Jester's presence as she does with Otto's, who is a real person in the real world alongside her. The fact that Noone isn't currently fully there yet doesn't necessarely mean the places aren't real.

Now, whether she's visiting the past versions of some already existing locations is up to debate (COUGH THE BATHHOUSE COUGH), and that locations and habitants of said locations can be parallels to some already existing ones, but the only certainty we have at this point is that these other places that are being described and witnessed by Noone are real places somewhere. After all, the Nowhere is an incredibly vast place of which we have explored incredibly little.

Would it be so surprising if the places Noone visits are separate from the, like, 3 ones we have visited?

(map is from LN II, the school, and is supposedly rappresenting a region of which we only see a single city.)

And another thing, actually: I have seen many compare the Lady to the Woman in Chains, but honestly, after reading through the transcript of the first episode of TSON made by @softichill... the two sound like the complete opposite of each other, appearence and behaviour wise.

The Woman in Chains is described as having a "stretched back face", therefore causing her to have wrinkles due to how her face is structured, which explains Noone talking about her as being "both old and young". There is no concealing, no mask, nothing to hide her face. She doesn't live in secrecy like the Lady does -- quite the contrary, infact.

And about features: in both her forms, the Lady's face looks the opposite of hers. Either completely relaxed, or... nearly like it's melting.

I have also seen some people try to claim that the "familiar outfit" as a reference to the Lady's kimono, but you must remember who the narrator is. The outfit is familiar to Noone. Not us. It is likely that the Woman is wearing either a nun's dress (Noone mentions seeing three laying on a bed in the Prisoner's bedroom) or something Noone might have seen from the institution she's kept in.

While the Lady does thrive in her occupation, she doesn't necessarely take joy in it like the Woman in Chains (Prison Ward, atp) does. For the Lady, it's much more a matter of survival. She is on the Maw because it's convenient, see as she's in a powerful position. The Woman in Chains is instead happily preparing torture devices to haunt the Prisoners with.

Some parallels are certainly there. Referring to them as being, even metaphorically, the same person... it would mean that the team wrote a very bad analogy. They are nothing alike in any other aspect BUT their occupation. Funnily enough, you could say the Thin Man and the Signal Tower operate in a near identical manner to both these places. He's also the living center/battery of his own mechanism.

Noone also mentions that the Workers seem to be made of shadows, similarly to the Shadow Children. However, it is also evident that these beings are different, as they work and can hold objects much like the nomes. Later, when she meets a living child, she notes that they have black goo in their hair that moves like shadows. If that's the same material the Workers are made of, then this would make them some sort of liquid entities.

Lastly, about the inhabitants themselves: no one else in this Prison is here because they want to be. The Prisoners are not like the Guests, who come on the Maw willingly. The Workers are mindless beings, unlike the Nomes who draw and the Shadow Kids who play just like children. The child and Noone want to leave... and that's understandable.

My friend @chorusofkhonshu smartly pointed this out, so I'm just gonna copy and paste what he said word for word.

"So I thought, if these creatures are made of liquid, it has to come from somewhere. So my mind wandered to the prisoners, their purpose. Perhaps like the Maw and Signal Tower need to absorb people. The Signal Towers thru TVs and the Maw thru the Lady. What if those prisoners are only alive to be bled dry so long as they live. Noone smells the prisoner rotting. All those prisoners have to share some purpose, they might be tortured. Some device that the lady there has. She uses straps and cranks. Masks with spikes in the mouth. It runs on tortured souls."

And just as Noone mentions later on:

Swelling.

If anything... rather than paralleling Six's journey, Noone seems to be living it backwards. Completely backwards.

... Mh.

[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

Always (or Dani, the collector of souls falls in love and Miles keeps passing out during the entire story)

If you were, hypothetically, of course, to visit a place in England called Bly Manor, you would most likely meet an odd group of people. You would see two children, one an absolute angel, the other a teenage, snarky brat of a boy, who are probably being supervised by a stern, yet extremely capable looking woman. You would probably be shown around the house by the sweetest housekeeper in the world, probably be offered lemon cakes by a tall man who looks at the aforementioned housekeeper with all the stars in his eyes. And maybe, just maybe in the middle of it all, you might glance outside and see a woman standing by herself in the garden. At first you would think she’s just moving casually, maybe dancing on her own; and then you would see that her movement has a pattern. It almost seems as though.... no, it couldn’t be.  

“Is that woman,” you would ask, hesitantly, not wishing to offend these people and some potential strange ritual of theirs, “talking to herself?”

The housekeeper (Hannah, you think she’s called) glances outside and chuckles. “Oh, that,” she says. “That’s just Jamie. Jaime’s the gardener. She’s just talking to her girlfriend.”

You would resist the urge to rub at your eyes. “Her.... her girlfriend?”

“Well, technically Dani hasn’t asked her yet,” the cook cuts in, smiling. “But it’s on the way, I assure you.”

You would look from the strange, solitary woman, to their frank, open faces, and then back to the solitary woman again, and you would think.

You would think Why, these people are absolutely fucking bonkers.

*****

(They’re really not)

*****

The first time Jamie saw the woman, it was from across the grounds, which is why it took her crossing halfway the distance to realize that she was breakdancing.

Then again, she had also got other things on her mind. Peter Fucking Quint had to go and fall off the parapet while attempting to rob the Wingraves of their old jewelry the night before last, and between helping Hannah communicate with the police, ensuring Owen received an adequate number of head pats every hour to calm him down, and offering Rebecca a listening ear for both murderous rants and angry tears, she had her hands completely full. And that wasn’t even including the kids, although they seemed to be doing fairly alright. Thankfully they had not seen the body. However, that didn’t deter Miles, who was currently going through a bit of a Hannibal phase, from popping up at random intervals to ask her what broken bones looked like, or if the blood had frozen overnight.

All in all, pretty exhausting.

Which is why the sight of the children standing in front of a breakdancing woman didn’t register at first. She was pulling out the weeds, sun high in the sky, sweat tracing an uncomfortable path down her back when something made her look up. One double take, and she was scrambling in their direction.

She reached them, panting, raised her head after her breath was a little more even and looked right at the woman, who was currently doing the robot. “Um,” she started, unsure of where to go from there. “Are — are you quite alright?”

The woman stopped abruptly, her mouth falling open. “You can see me?”

Okay, this woman was clearly mental. “Yes?”

The woman looked even more astounded. “You really can?” she turned to Flora next. “You too?”

Flora blinked. “Yes, we can.”

“But that’s impossible! You shouldn’t be able to see me. In fact—”

“Jaime, darling,” Miles cut in the middle of what seemed to be the beginning of a rapidly delivered monologue. “Could you escort this.... clearly insane lady outside?”

Jaime thwack-ed the side of his head gently. “Wanna try that again? Nicely?”

He looked sheepish. Not really a bad kid, that one, she thought. Just annoying.

“But you really shouldn’t be able to see me. By all calculations, it’s completely—”

“Well, why not?” Miles asked, now having warmed to the idea of possibly talking to someone who was crazy.

The woman brightened up. “Well, because,” she said, “this, I guess.”

And then she snapped her fingers, disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the lake, where she waved at them excitedly.

Flora is the only one who waved back. Jamie was too busy supporting the weight of a now-collapsed Miles.

*****

Jamie thought it was patently unfair that the reaper of souls was just so damn cute.

(They weren’t supposed to be cute! They were supposed to look gaunt and hollow, and angry and sad, not like sunshine wrapped up in a very human looking package. They weren’t supposed to be walking around with bright, blue, gorgeous eyes, and faces that seemed to have been sculpted by some divine power up there, and a voice that was sweet and soothing enough to put Jamie right to sleep.)

“It’s amazing how all of you can see me,” the reaper of souls, or Dani, as she had introduced herself, said, looking wide-eyed at all of them. Rebecca and a recently awakened Miles were the only ones who looked actively concerned, standing in the corner. Owen and Hannah were, as ever, polite and pleasant, if a little curious. Flora was already settled in next to Dani, asking her questions a mile a minute. And Jamie was—

(Very fucking annoyed at how pretty Dani was)

—completely alright.

“And you’re here to get Peter?” Owen asked her, with a sideways look in Rebecca’s direction.

“Oh yes,” Dani replied. “And boy, was that man a pain. Really whiny. Went all Boohoo I can’t be dead, I’m supposed to do so many things, I’m so cool and awesome and. Ugh. Annoying is what he was. I mean, the list says Peter Quint — died while trying to steal from Bly Manor; what am I supposed to do?”

They all nodded, a little dazed.

“And then I saw the kids and I was bored and I thought they couldn’t see me anyways so,” she continued, and then looked down, suddenly a little shy. “I really am sorry about the.... you know, breakdancing. I honestly thought nobody could see me.”

“It’s okay, it was cute,” Jamie found herself saying before she had time to process, and then wanted to stab herself with the fork lying on the table. If that didn’t work, bang her head on the surface until she bled to death. Or—

“Thank you,” Dani said, equally as quiet.

Jamie closed her eyes, willed her body to fall dead right then and there.

(It didn't work, unfortunately)

“Would you like to stay for supper?” he heard Owen ask their guest.

“Supper?” Dani asked. “Wait, is it already that late?”

Jamie looked up a moment later, when she heard everybody scream and then she opened her eyes to see a stranger standing right near the stove.

“Viola!” Dani said, alarmed. “I thought I sent a message I was gonna be late.”

The woman looked very haughty, very angry and (this is something she hated to admit, again, but) very fucking hot. Seriously. What was with these underworld people and ridiculously angelic skin? Her gaze moved past all of them, came to rest on Dani.

“I got your message alright,” she announced, blithely. “Just couldn’t figure out why you were still here.”

Dani chuckled, nervously. “So, funny story, but as it turns out — these people can — uh, see us?”

Viola tilted her head, regarded her. “Are you sure?”

“Hello,” Hannah said, ever the gracious host. “Welcome to Bly Manor.”

Viola looked flabbergasted now, doing a double take to look at all of them more carefully.

“They can see us?”

Dani nodded, gingerly.

“Seriously?”

Another nod.

“But that can’t be—”

“—Viola, I know, but—”

“—it simply cannot be allowed—”

“—absolutely not I know what you’re thinki—”

“—We have to end them!”

There was another whoosh right next to Jamie’s ear, and she took her time, turning around, only to see another pissed-off, hot woman, standing in the kitchen, her arms crossed.

“I didn’t even say kill!” Viola protested.

“You implied it!”

Their standoff was interrupted by a violent, abrupt thud. It seemed Miles had fainted again.

*****

Jamie walked into the greenhouse, paused and smiled.

“You cannot surprise me,” she said, aloud.

There was movement behind her, and then Dani walked into view.

“How do you always know I’m here?”

Jamie stayed quiet. There wasn’t a good, less-embarrassing way to say The air dances when you’re around, or I can feel your presence in the back of my neck, in the way my heart starts skipping steps on whatever treadmill it is currently running on.  

“Let me keep my secrets,” she answered.

Dani stayed beside her, as she started on the rose plants, a safe distance away, safe enough for Jamie to not feel like she would combust. “I got you something.”

“You’ve already given me so many things,” Jamie told her, hand rubbing at the back of her neck. It was true. Every time Dani had dropped in the past month, she’d brought little trinkets from her travels all over the world.  

(Travels was an excellent way of describing the action of harvesting the grumpy souls of the dead)

One time there had been crepes from Paris, courtesy the tourist guide who passed of a heart attack in a café. Another time it was one of Cerberus’ treats, because Jamie was eternally curious as to what hell dogs actually ate. The bone had been framed and now lay on one of her shelves back at home. One day, she had gotten macarons that Owen had scarfed down before Dani could get around to telling him they were filled with the eternal cries of the dead.

(He’d spent the entire day walking around convinced he was going to die. The doctor said it was indigestion)

She opened the neatly wrapped box and picked up the pomegranate. Turned it around in her hand, examined it.

“Aren’t these supposed to tie me down to the Underworld forever?” she asked, only half-serious.

“Gosh, no,” Dani said, nervously chuckling. “These are not that kind.”

Jamie waited.

“Um, so these,” Dani went on, “these seeds are kind of multi-purpose things? So basically you can eat them, but these seeds, when planted, they can grow any plant in the world. Doesn’t matter what soil they’re on. I mean, I heard you mention that flower you’ve always wanted to grow, but England doesn’t have the climate suited to it and — well. This would work.”

If Jamie could speak, this is what she would have said: I don’t know how to thank you. I don’t know why you’re here, why you give me so much of your precious time, time that you could be walking around the whole world in. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around me, how to breathe, how to look, and I’m an utter godforsaken mess, but I’m eternally grateful you barged into our lives a while ago. I don’t know what I was doing before you came. I hope you never leave.

She would have said I know you collect souls, but there’s at least one heart lying in that bag of yours, and there’s a good chance it’s mine.

As it is, all she did was grab onto Dani’s hand, and squeeze.

*****

“You have got to stop doing that!” Owen gasped, hand on his heart.

Dani shrugged from on where she was now perched on top of the table, sitting directly in front of an open-mouthed Miles. “Hannah always knows when I’m here.”

“That’s because I really do have eyes everywhere,” Hannah turned around, smiled brightly at Dani. “Spaghetti?”

“I’ve been asking you for the past five minutes!” Jamie said, indignantly.

“Well, now we know who’s her favorite,” Dani shoots an infuriatingly smug grin in her direction, and pats the top of her head and—

Jamie would feel annoyed if her heart wasn’t racing and there wasn’t a blush fighting to make its way up her cheeks. This love thing was annoying.

(Not that it was love, of course. Certainly not)

“As charming as that sounds, Hannah darling,” Dani continued, “I actually came for a purpose.”

“Is it to set murderers on us again?”

“No, Miles,” Dani replied, patiently. “Plus, Viola and Perdita wouldn’t really have.... killed you. Maimed you, at best.”

Rebecca shuddered delicately on the other side of the table.

“Remember when you said you’d had a bit of a dinosaur phase when you were a kid?” Dani directed this towards Jamie.

“... yes?”

“Well,” Dani snapped her fingers, and to their extreme horror, a parrot sized creature appeared next to her, “meet Battery!”

“—completely house trained,” she heard Dani explaining to Hannah, while she extended a hand towards (what was he called? Right) Battery. He opened his mouth, stepped closer, licked the entire length of her finger with a long, slimy tongue, and then immediately nipped at her nail.

(Jamie may or may not be helplessly charmed)

Before she could say anything, however, Miles fell from his chair onto the kitchen floor.

Rebecca sighed, got up from her chair. “You guys know there’s going to be permanent brain damage if he keeps doing that.”

*****

About three things went wrong the day Jamie decided she was finally going to tell Dani she was in love with her.

The first thing was that she needed to get drunk, and decided to trust Owen and Hannah to deliver. The second was that Battery wasn’t adequately educated in the intricacies of human weirdness and tended to panic at the first sign of strange behavior. Third, lakes weren’t the most romantic places to confess your love, but apparently nobody had told Jamie this.

So when she found herself flailing for breath after having somehow made her way to the middle of the lake in a makeshift lifeboat and then having upturned it in the process, she only had herself to blame.

“What,” Dani started, looking absolutely furious, hair all over the place as she held Jamie up, “the fuck were you doing in the middle of the lake?”

“Hey!” Jamie sang, because the alcohol was making her feel very sing-song-y, “You shouldn’t be here yet! It’s not time!”

“Battery panicked and summoned me,” Dani explained. “Are — are you drunk?”

“No, she’s not!” Hannah called out from where she and Owen had just reached the lake. “We gave her loads of strong bitter soda and convinced her it was watered down whiskey.”

(Now that she was thinking about it, the whiskey had seemed pretty fizzy for her liking)

“Oh,” she Jamie, now sobered up. “But I was drowning.”

“Yeah, in about five feet of water.”

Well, that was anticlimactic.

*****

At midnight, she sat by the lake, covered in a warm, fuzzy blanket Dani had draped all over her. Dani sat beside her, Battery on her lap, smiling at her from time to time.

“You’re such an idiot,” she said, out of nowhere, and Jamie didn’t have the heart to disagree. “What am I even going to do with you?”

“You could,” Jamie started, ponderously, like she hadn’t spent three months of her life thinking this over, like her heart wasn’t an over-excited ping-pong in her chest right now, “you could always take me out on a date, you know?”

“Really?” Dani murmured. “Well, that’s a novel idea.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Depends. Would you be okay dating someone who is almost constantly grumpy from carrying around beleaguered souls all day?”  

Jamie pretended to think. “I think so, yes.”

“Someone who regularly hangs out with a murder-friendly woman?”

“.... maybe?”

“How about someone who may have to keep going away for lengths of time?”

Jamie turned to her. “Would that someone come back to me, though?”

Dani’s eyes were shiny and hopeful, and she felt her breath get stuck in her throat like a lovesick little fool. “Always,” Dani whispered.

“Well, then,” Jamie whispered back to her, and then leaned in for the most picture-perfect happy ending of all time.

[drethanramslay]

Gone with the wind

Pairing: Rafael x MC( Addison Jones)

Word count: 1.5 K words (this is a short one, I'm sorry)

masterlist 

Taglist: @miyakokurono​ @trappedinfandoms​ @openheart12​ @sekizincimektup​ @x-kyne-x​ @paulfwesley​ @zeniamiii​ @an-urban-witch-ig​ @ramseyegerton​ @noboundariesplease​ @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey​ @newcolonies​ @theodorepjames4​ @unluckygs​ @choices-love-affair​ @kaavyaethanramsey​  @caseyvalentineramsey​ @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq​  @junehiratas​ @lilyvalentine​ @nooruleman​  @agent-breakdance​ @jamespotterthefirst​ @choicesfanaf​ @temptress-of-death-and-desire @ac27dj @oofchoices @mrsdrakewalkerblog @livingpurpose @humanpokemon @chaotic-ramsay-queen​ @oofchoices​ @ohramsey​(let me know if you want to added or removed froth tag list)

Warning: angst and swearing and im apologising before hand if there are any mistakes. its 2 am in the night so :P

Songs: Don't leave by MØ and Before you go by Lewis Capaldi

It had been an eventful day.

From seeing Kyra collapse in her pool of blood, to spoon-feeding Elijah's intern, to having a wild cat and mouse chase in Mass Kenmore it was crazy indeed. Addison has had five heart attacks and six meltdowns in just a span of 12 hours which left her tired physically and mentally.

But you got to see Rafael for like five minutes, so that's a good thing right? he inner ever-optimistic conscience pointed out which made her smile.

Even though they chose to remain friends, anybody within a five mile radius could sense the palpable tension between the two. The lingering gazes, the long hugs and the occasional kisses on the forehead spoke volumes.

Addison fucking knew that he wasn't happy with Sora.

Hell since the time she knew that Addison was his ex, the fights have started increasing in frequency. Initially, Sora would hang out with the group and during those times, when Raf wasn't looking her way, the death glares that were sent her way, left Addy feeling uneasy.

And that was just the beginning.

There were times when she would shout at Rafael incoherently and the sweetheart that Raf is, would listen to her 'concerns' and try different ways to make her happy. Be it by taking her out on cute dates or by showering her with cute presents or swooning surprises. Addy wasn't even aware about this entire fiasco because they pretended to be couple goals. She only got to know when they had gone out fo beers on the nights of the softball game.

He is such a good actor... Addy thought to herself as she entered the lift and pressed the fifth floor, comfortable in the blue scrubs.

The patient poaching was a wild ride in Mass Kenmore and it was overwhelming. Addy had still not come down from her high, the lingering effects of adrenaline making her restless. Ethan tricking Tobias, Baz imitating Zaid and the run in with Aurora was too much.

I swear I need to have one bottle of wine asap. Addy thought has her shoulders ached, a knot forming due to the excessive stress.

She entered room 532 to see Bryce sitting by Kyra, holding her hand and giving her a reassuring smile.

"Hey there K-bear. Gave me quite a scare this morning, huh?" Addy sat by her side and pulled her frail body into a long bear hug.

"Hey Big A. I heard the you had quite the Fast and Furious chase scene today, huh?" Kyra said with a weak smile.

"You wouldn't even believe it Kyra! It was so exhilarating and equal parts terrifying."

"Give me all the deets but before that.." Kyra glanced at Bryce and he gave another encouraging nod. "I'm sorry for being a her to you Addy."

Addison stopped her before she got sucked into the whirlpool of guilt. "No, don't be. I rather you vent all your anger out on me if, its giving you the courage to keep fighting." Kyra gave a huge smile and hugged Addy again. Addy's eyes fell on Bryce. "So Bryce, have you thought of the treatment plan?"

"Yes. So we are gonna do an extensive surgery.." For the next fifteen minutes, Bryce explained the complete plan for the surgery along with the pros and cons, and Addy listened to him with rapt attention.

"So what do you think Big A? Do you think this is a good plan?" Kyra asked with puppy eyes.

"Kyra, if Bryce said its a good idea, I have complete faith in him. You couldn't have had a better surgeon on your side." Bryce gave a grateful smile.

"Thanks Big A. You are the best."

Witnessing the exchange between Kyra spoke up with a mischievous smile. "You know, I remember when you two were clueless little interns fighting over who got to treat me."

"Clueless?!" Addison eyes bugged out.

"Little?!" Bryce clutched his chest out of horror.

Ignoring the offended looks Kyra smiled. "I'm glad that I have you both on my side." Addy gave a soft smile and reached to squeeze her hand, Bryce following suit.

"We aren't going anywhere." Bryce spoke. Addison looked up and she saw Rafael standing outside with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Their eyes met and Addy's heartbeat spiked up.

Bidding goodbye, she headed out and closed the door softly behind her.

"Hey Addy." Rafael spoke with a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He opened his arms and Addison walked into the warm embrace. She breathed in his minty cologne and suddenly all the distress of the day washed away.

He is like healing salve to my wounds.

"Hey Raf." She said as she stepped back to look at him.

"How is she doing?" Rafael asked as he waved at her. Kyra waved back enthusiastically.

"She is doing as fine as she can."

"Aren't we all?" Raf said as he looked down at her.

The memory of their previous encounter entered her head and she remembered. "What did you wanna talk about, superman?"

Raf's eyes averted and suddenly found interest in staring at his sneakers.

"No its nothing-" Raf began but Addy, turned him towards her, so that his brown orbs could meet her turquoise ones.

"Raf... I know that look. Its the look which you have when I caught you eating my M&M stash. Tell me, whats wrong?"

"I- I am leaving town."

Addison took a sharp intake of breathe. Panic started churning in her chest as she tried to calm herself. "How long?"

Silence followed which in itself, gave an answer to her.

"Rafael fucking answer me! How long will you be gone?!" Addy's eyes were tearing up and Rafael dragged her into the near by supply closet.

"Don't fucking touch me until you answer my damn question." She exclaimed.

"I..I don't know." Rafael stammered out.

Addison eyes widened and she immediately started rambling. "Where are you going? I am getting an off for the next three days. We could go together and chill and enjoy. You don't need to-"

Rafael gripped her shoulders stopping her. "Addison, I bought a one way ticket."

Do you ever feel trapped or frozen as you see the entire basis of your reality fall apart? That sheer hopelessness and the need to fix it, but you can't?

That's how Addison felt.

"No... Rafael you can't do this! Your friends, your girlfriend, your grandma and your job, is all here!! Boston is your life and you have always wanted to stay here and serve the community-"

"I want a change in pace, can you blame me?" Rafael said crossing his arms, his jaw clenching .

Addison's eyes blazed, the turquoise eyes, turning icy. She looked up at his towering height and poked his chest. "Don't for a moment think that I am going to fucking believe that sorry excuse Rafael Aveiro. I have dated you for seven fucking months and I know you inside out. You may forget or lie to yourself about us, but I damn well know you."

"So look me in the eyes and tell me the fucking truth."

"How can I tell you the truth when you are part of the reason I am leaving?" Rafael said through clenched teeth.

Addy was shocked and speechless. "Me? What the fuck did I do?I literally have been the most supportive person-" she managed to choke out before she was interrupted by him.

"Can't you fucking see it Addison?! I have a fucking girlfriend but I am still, like a fucking idiot, completely and utterly in love with you?! Everyday is a fucking tug of war between you and Sora and its ripping me in shreds. I am loosing all my sanity and to top this, I don't have a fucking job to go where I can just forget everything. I am fucking tired and I need room to breathe."

I am completely and utterly in love with you... That love confession was the best thing she had ever heard, but also like a slap on the face.

"Oh."

"Yes 'oh'. So that's why I have decided that I am going to yeet myself out of this hellish situation and start afresh." Raf said with so much determination that it felt like a stab in the heart.

"Rafael you don't need to do that, please. I'm begging you." Addison pleaded, tears streaming down her face. "You are the only good in this entire city. I- I will cease all contact with you until you get your head straight, as much as it hurts you. But please, please don't leave the city. I need you Raf."

"Addison, if I stay here... I-I can't last another day." He said painfully.

A violent sob shuddered through Addison and Rafael's eyes softened. He wrapped his arms around her as cries racked through her entire body. "I'm so sorry sweetheart... You don't deserve this shit I put you through..."

"Raf..."

"I know that I am leaving now. But if I do come back, be it one month or a day, I promise you that I will make you mine... that is if you still want me." he said, his voice cracking as he ran a hand through her blonde hair.

The embrace got over as soon as it started. She stepped back and cupped his cheek and smiled through her tears. "Rafael... there won't be a single day when I can ever stop loving you. I promise that."

"Me too sweetheart... me too."

[dablesretrospective]

2010 - Dables - Dables Plays Daniel Johnston

Wow, it’s been 4 years since I wrote my last entry on the history of Dables albums. I’m reaching new levels of lazy slackerdom...  This is my tribute to one of my favorite songwriters, Daniel Johnston. Of who’s artwork (the “Hi How Are You frog”) is forever tattooed on my arm.  This album was recorded roughly around the same time as that one, and completed just a few months after the release of Grandparents Forever. It was recorded between August and October 2010, and officially released on Oct 30,2010.  Recorded the entire thing by myself, in my bedroom at my parent’s house in Fountain Inn, SC. Mostly while they weren’t home too.  For this one, I’ll just repost what I wrote in the liner notes for this album, if you ever managed to get your hands on a hard copy, I made at least 80 or so of them, maybe more over the years. The following was written by hand inside the liner notes booklet of the CD. The “guy” I was addressing was actually Michael Keller of Satan in Bondage as he was the first one to receive a finished copy of this album. I had hand-drawn the cover art, complete with full liner notes and various doodles, and gave it to him with no intention of it being the final artwork. After he told me how much he liked the entire hand-drawn package, he convinced me to just go ahead and use it for the final version.

           What’s up guy?  They say the way to beat writer’s block is to write through it, even if it sucks.  So when I hit the “wall”, I played through it.  I got bored, depressed, stoned, and out of ideas until I realized there are tons of great Daniel Johnston songs that lots of people think suck, so I tried to re-do them in my own sort of way.  This album was mainly recorded during a manic week or listening to nothing but Johnston albums, I played the ones I liked and didn’t mix anything for over a month. Well, there was supposed to be more songs but I lost them during a power outage in a storm.  OK I’m out of stuff to say. Hope you like this CD man! Long live the Johnston!                                      -David Walker 10-28-2010

A few more tidbits to add, the liner notes also said “I’ll give you a dollar if you can figure out what the sample in the beginning of Casper is!”. It’s from O Brother Where Art Thou. No more dollars for a correct guess, haha. I remember Lousy Weekend was the first one I recorded for this album and I think Funeral Home was the last one.  Another big impetus that made me want to record this album was most of my friends (besides Keller) pretty much hated Daniel Johnston due to how lo-fi and sloppy most of his music is.  This also existed as an attempt to get some of my friends to realize he’s a genius songwriter, thinking if I recorded a better fidelity/quality version of his stuff, with emphasis on his great melodies and lyrics, that I could help convince some of those people that he doesn’t suck.  In the end, I don’t think it worked too well as I think most of those same people, still think he pretty much sucks lol. One time someone came up to me at a show and told me they loved this album and that they found it in a public library. As in it is an item in the CD section that you can check out from the library. I assume it was one of my hand-made copies that somehow made it’s way to being donated to a library. No clue on earth who did that or how it happened, I’ve asked around about it a few times and everyone I have asked said they know nothing about this. Very odd, but also pretty cool I guess. I forget where the library was, but somewhere in Greenville probably, possibly Easley.  

In 2011 and again in 2013 I played a show billed as “Dables Plays Daniel Johnston”. It was a solo acoustic guitar show, played AS Daniel Johnston. I’ll repost the original description I used for the flyer here:

In the vein of Beatlemania, Dables Plays Daniel Johnston is a Daniel Johnston tribute performed completely in the character of Johnston, culled from his 80's-early 90's famously awkward and weird acoustic guitar shows. Clean shaved, skinny, shaggy hair, wearing his own t-shirt, and promoting himself by full name constantly, Johnston was known for being extremely nervous on stage and talking awkwardly about his religious beliefs, or apologizing profusely after messing up lyrics to his songs, sometimes ending them early out of frustration. He would play the guitar a little too hard sometimes, or miss notes while singing and occasionally flub a lyric or two, and every now and then really appear that his about to have a nervous breakdown right before your eyes, normally after he thinks he played "badly" in his mind. He often bows after songs, and says the titles and usually the year or album they are from and always kept his sets very short, 5-6 songs tops. David Walker of the Greenville, SC grunge/folk/stoner rock act Dables, tries to recreate all of this to maintain the awkward, emotional, personal, sometimes poignant and sometimes funny and overall entertaining performances of Daniel Johnston.

Overall both shows went really well, both being well-attended and people seemed to enjoy it. A few people at the first one, I heard afterwards had no idea who Johnston was and thought I was really like how I was acting on stage, all weird and awkward, (Well, I am like that BUT…) and they had no idea I was doing a character. Hilarious! I remember at the second one some guy booed me while on stage and yelled out “mental illness isn’t funny! You suck!” in a quiet yet loud enough for me to hear voice. It was not my intention to make fun of Daniel Johnston, I thought that people could tell how much I admire and love the man due to my commitment and knowledge of his music, but there must’ve been 1 or 2 who didn’t get it.  It’s supposed to be funny and a little uncomfortable. That’s how the real classic Johnston shows were. I was attempting to re-create that, so people could see what I think it would be like to attend a Johnston show in the 80s or early 90s. Well, that wraps up just about everything I can think of to say about the “Johnston era” of Dables.

----------------------------

Released October 8, 2010                         All music performed and recorded by David Walker. All songs and lyrics written by Daniel Johnston. Slackerpop Records 2010

1. I Live My Broken Dreams 2. Grievances 3. Casper The Friendly Ghost 4. Lousy Weekend 5. Tell Me Now 6. Devil Town 7. Go 8. Get Yourself Together 9. Running Water 10. Never Relaxed 11. I’ll Do Anything But Breakdance For Ya, Darling 12. Psycho Nightmare 13. Sorry Entertainer 14. True Love Will Find You in The End 15. Don’t Let The Sun Go Down on Your Grievances 16. Funeral Home

Download this album for free at:

https://dables.bandcamp.com/album/dables-plays-daniel-johnston

[that-dancer-lifestyle]

Getting Into That Dancer Life

Ever wonder how dancers are so powerful and expressive when they perform? It takes time and dedication, putting in practice for hours, days, weeks, months, years--It seems easier said than done, right? Not at all. Dance is an activity that can be enjoyed by anyone. If you are looking to get started, there are a variety of genres to choose from, such as classical forms like ballet and jazz, to hip hop like popping and breakdancing. For beginning dancers, you do not need any prior experience, nor is it necessary to join a studio and take up lessons. But whether you plan to dance as a hobby, participate competitively, or dance professionally, there are health precautions to be aware of. Dance is a physical art that utilizes the entire body, so it is important to understand how to properly take care of yourself to perform to the best of your abilities. In my blog, I will educate beginners on how to maintain a healthy body and mind throughout their dancing career.

Well, what makes for a “healthy body and mind,” you may ask? From head-to-toe, your body is your instrument when it comes to dancing, so learning how to keep healthy will not only ensure your personal well-being but it will benefit your performance in the long-run. I will teach you several, easy-to-follow steps that you can gradually implement into your lifestyle. Dancing requires a lot of energy, so you want to be sure to eat the right food and stay hydrated. Before you start dancing or doing any sort of physical activity, it is important to thoroughly stretch. Although dancing is already quite the workout, including extra training and exercise will help strengthen your body. Once it is time to dance, it is best to start with a good warm-up, then end your routine with a nice, slow cooldown. I will also demonstrate when to be mindful of giving your body a break as well as getting a proper amount of rest at the end of the day. Your body will get a little banged up every now and then, so during your rest period, it is useful to know how to treat bruises, sprains, and other minor injuries. Learning to dance includes learning how your body moves, so understanding your body to make sure you are properly equipped will help avoid further injuries. Following these steps will not only benefit your personal health but will also show improvement in your dancing and overall performance.

For beginners, learning to dance can be difficult if you are unsure of how or where to even get started. Although it seems easy to just jump right in, it is important to understand the physical and mental work that goes into dancing. But do not let that discourage you--I understand how overwhelming it can be having to make such lifestyle changes when you are just starting out. That is why I am here to guide you through each step and teach you the best methods to get started because it is just as easy to learn how to prepare yourself both physically and mentally before getting into dance. It may seem like a lot of work at a glance, but making these simple changes in your lifestyle will have a huge impact on your dancing career into the future and better yourself as a person overall.

[herbalzee]

Get to know me tag!!!

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag

   1. headphones (always!)    2. at least 50 hair ties    3. a full bottle of perfume    4. free pens from like everywhere    5. lots of tissues lmao

Five Things In My Bedroom:

a fish tank! i love my lil fishies

shoe cabinet

a Moriarty (from Sherlock BBC) calendar of him saying “Miss me?”. I love it

a small yellow chair!  

a color-coordinated bookshelf!!!

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:

learn sign language!

travel all over europe

write my own book

become a therapist

have kids!! and pets!!!

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

hanging with friends!!

listening to music, podcasts and ASMR

watching movies

doing artistic things?? idek what that means but like i love going to operas and theaters and taking aesthetic pictures and being creative, shit like that

talking, ranting, expressing my opinions comfortably, theorizing, brainstorming

Five Things On My To-Do List:

read books

hang with friends

write short stories- or write in general lmao

travel!!!

prepare for uni... i need to seriously do that

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

i am passionate about psychology

i had an obsession with piercings and tattoos when i was younger

i had the yellow belt in karate when i was in practice

im very old school about silly things yet quite liberal about the serious stuff

im basically in love with malmo, sweden

Name?: zaina

Nicknames?: zee

Zodiac?: sagittarius

Sexual Orientation?: straight

Ethnicity?: middle eastern/ north african

Favorite Fruit?: mango!!!!

Favorite Season?: winter

Favorite Flower?: after a quick flower research, i found the soft pink spray roses and the blue hydrangea the most appealing to me

Favorite Scent?: vanilla! cocoa! banana-scented stuff (or generally fruit-scented stuff). old books!!! 

Favorite Animal?: bees!! or just any domesticated animals honestly (that can be kept at homes or farms)

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: tea

Cat or dog?: dogs

Dream Trip?: a boat travelling all around western europe!!!

Number of Followers?: i dont really care about this stuff

What do I post about?: any posts containing message worth-spreading, funny content or aesthetically-pleasing stuff..

Do I get asks on a regular basis?: nope! so famous that i had to close my ask box 

Favorite Band?: twentyone pilots, little mix, imagine dragons, coldplay, hey violet, abba (almost forgot them omg)

Aesthetic?: cinematography, animals and nature, books and libraries, literally anything vintage, multicultures, feminism and femininity. i cant think of other stuff but im majorly into art

Fictional Character I’d Date?: john bender from the breakfast club!!!!

Hogwarts House?: ravenclaw

Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close at my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

Relationship status: single

Favorite color: purple, blue, green

Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick!!

Last song I listened to: hard times by paramore

Last movie I watched: The Boss Baby

Top three TV shows:

(btw these three tv shows are the only shows ive ever watched and actually finished lmao)

BBC Sherlock

Clique

Yuri! on ice

Top three characters:

These are the ones that came to mind first, not top favorites

Sherlock (Sherlock BBC)

Todd Anderson (Dead poets society)

Savannah Karlsen (Girl, interrupted)

rules: copy/paste and replace my answers with yours and tag people :^)

a - age: 17 
b - biggest fear: my actual biggest fear is too personal so im gonna say my second biggest fear: not achieving anything valuable in my life  
c - current time: 3 am lmao 
d - drink you last had: a peach detox lmao 
e - every day starts with: checking phone  f - favorite song: of all time or currently? ive never had an all time favorite but right now my favorite song is hard times by paramore (mainly the chorus bc its awesome) 
g - ghosts, are they real: only the ones in our heads 
h - hometown: a.d. 
i - in love with: psychology 
j - jealous of: productive people 
k - killed someone: ... 
l - last time you cried: literally yesterday..  m - middle name: dont have one  
n - number of siblings: eins (one) 
o - one wish: to be satisfied with who i am and what i have p - person you last called/texted: im talking to my friend on the phone right now as im doing this.. shes the one who so kindly guided me to these fun questions q - questions you’re always asked: “why are you so quiet?” “what major are you getting into and at which university?”  
r - reasons to smile: youre very much well and alive!!

s - song last sang: i was having a fetus 1d songs marathon at like 2 am the other day so... definitely the entire up all night album

t - time you woke up: these days.. 12 pm, bc im tired and its my holiday 
u - underwear color: ohhhh boi v - vacation destination: anywhere cold filled with warm people 
w - worst habit: procrastination 
x - x-rays you’ve had: the most recent one i remember is a chest x ray y - your favorite food: pasta 
z - zodiac sign: sagittarius

post a screenshot of my lock screen, home screen, and last song played

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.

I choose:

bbc sherlock

clique

yuri! on ice

The first character you loved:

ohhh, first was sherlock! then john almost 0.001 secs later

im pretty sure it was elizabeth. shes the cutest and i relate to her the most

probably Minako Okukawa, because shes so charming and funny

The character you never expected to love so much:

mrs hudson!!!!

louise!!! shes so smart and gorgeous and the least involved in the drama

yurio!!! i used to dislike him lmao but now hes my son

The character you relate to most:

molly hooper

like i said above, elizabeth!

ohh definitely yuri

The character you’d slap

john because sherlock suffered sooo much for him and opened his heart only to be abandoned because john is a naive idiot who still cant tell sherlock’s NOT a sociopath

SO MANY bc almost all of them did shitty things.. but the ones id slap right on sight are Alistair and the Steiner dude

ohmygod no, theyre all pure!! probably yurio bc that kid needs to love himself (but id immediately hug him right after)

Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference):

sherlock & john (one answer), mrs hudson, WIGGINS

holly, rachel, and fay (elizabeth and jude too)

the obvious trio: yuri, victor and yurio

A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:

mary lmao

alistair. i was a little suspicious of him but i liked him at the beginning bc he was cute and innocent. i HATE him now obviously

i love them all.. theres not a single one i dislike

A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:

ahahah mycroft

 uh georgia

christopher and JJ (but now i love them both so much)

[yikesforever]

tag games you didn’t ask for

i had three tag games to do thanks to kate, cam and cameron so here they are, ill tag these people, but yall rlly don’t have to do any of them, i was jus bored

@bicevans @capswilson @dobrevninas @daisyridlay @napoleonsolos @soldatsass @beefybucky

fav hoe @daddybucks​ tagged me in this one

1. coke or pepsi: neither?? (coke i guess) 2. disney or dreamworks: disney !!! 3. coffee or tea: my main bitch coffee 4. books or movies: movies binch 5. windows or mac: windows 6. dc or marvel: marvel 7. x-box or playstation: i always liked playstation better but i dont have a reason?? 8. dragon age or mass effect: are these games that i dont get 9. night owl or early riser: night owl 10. cards or chess: cards 11. chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 12. vans or converse: vans (i have neither but i guess yeah) 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: ??? 14. fluff or angst: i can write angst but i’d rather read fluff 15. beach or forest: forest 16. dogs or cats: dogs 17. clear skies or rain: clear skies during the day, rain at night 18. cooking or eating out: cooking 19. spicy food or mild food: spicy 20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: …. thanksgiving 21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold 22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: superserum i think, or speed like barry 23. animation or live action: live action (i dont trust new animated movies) 24. paragon or renegade: ???? 25. baths or showers: showers 26. team cap or team ironman: team cap !!! 27. fantasy or sci-fi: im leaning towards sci fi but i feel like fantasy and sci fi are so fucking similar that sci fi could be a subcategory of fantasy 28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: okay well prolly anything about cevans has ever said is prolly my fav but um:  “When people say life is short its not its not, its not. We make it short because we are very preoccupied, with ya know, we spend a lot of time worrying about the past and we spend a lot of time analyzing the future. Before you know it time goes by.” - cevans  ”Had a fourth iced coffee today, I didn’t want to but I did” - sebstan ”With out art the earth is just eh” & “do not go gentle into that good night”  i also love anything disney tbh  29. youtube or netflix: netflix 30. harry potter or percy jackson: harry potter (cause ive never seen percy jackson besides in 10th grade english) 31. when you feel accomplished: lmao when a gifset gets 1k+ 32. star wars or star trek: star wars !!!!!!! 33. paperback books or hardback books: paperback 34. horror or rom-com: rom-com 35. tv shows or movies: tv shows (even if all my favs are movie actors) 36. favorite animal: dogs or polar bears 37. favorite genre of music: bahaha i guess indie  38. least favorite book: the red badge of courage... i have extreme hate for that fucking book 39. favourite season: spring 40. sparkly or shiny: shiny 41. favorite character in a tv series: MY SAD GAY SON TJ HAMMOND 42. do you have/want any tattoos and if you do, what are they?: i dont have one but i want like 4... i want the tree of life from animal kingdom with the quote we are one underneath it, an aries constellation, a mountain range, and my dads signature from his drawings 43. If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?: if id never get sick of it... prolly mexican or thai food.  44. If you had to wake up one day, magically knowing how to do something you didn’t know how to the day before, what would it be? how to adult tbh, its too stressful

both of my loves @daddysteven​ & @daddybucks​ tagged me for this one (i cant believe how many of my friends have daddy urls but okay)

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller (??? i might be 5′6″)

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

There is something I would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin

I am an introvert

I like meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

Fandoms are my #1 passion

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship

I have a celebrity crush

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today (fuck i wish i did)

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages fluently

I have made a new friend in the past year (ya im talking bout yall)

i was tagged by @officialhermionegranger​

Name — natalie Nicknames — nat  Zodiac Sign — aries Height — 5′6″ or 5′7″ not entirely sure Hogwarts House — slytherin Ethnicity — caucassian Favorite Fruit — blueberries Favorite Season — spring Favorite Book(s) — perks of being a wallflower & yes please Favorite Flower — does lavender count? Favorite Scent — waterfall or forest smells  Favorite Color — green (but like an earthy/army green) Favorite Animal — dogs or polar bears Favorite Bands/Singers — probs hozier, ed sheeran, and ill always love 1d Average Sleep Hours — somewhere between 4 and 8.... so i guess 6 Favorite Fictional Character(s) — steve rogers, barry allen, lorelai gilmore, rey, nala Dream Trip — alaska to see the northern lights and go dog sleeding Blog Created — this one.... fuck march 2016 (guys ive had this blog for almost a year now wtf) Number of Followers — 2366 (i havent been making shit lately) What Made You Decide To Make a Tumblr — like in the beginning??? i have no fucking idea why 2010 nat made her first tumblr, but this one because i was spamming my aesthetic blog with star wars and x files so i made this blog and now a year later im chris evans trash .. 

[minhyukie]

hello it’s ur Local Mess here to talk about herself and do a lot of tag games im sorry for being the worst these are literally from within the past like two months and you all probably don’t even remember tagging me or care about my answers but than k you to @ki-hyunie​ @haehoney​ @honeyvevo​ @94wons​ @ckyun​ for tagging me in these i’m putting them all together so that you can all have the ultimate compilation of useless information about me!! please enjoy!!

im not tagging anyone because i don’t want to subject anyone to this but if u too love talking about yourself please tag me because i love hearing people talk about themselves

Name - amy

Age - 20

Height - 5′3 (160 cm?)

Ult Bias - seohyun + minhyuk the two loves of my life :(

Nicknames - i don’t really get many nicknames?? my roommate calls me amu though

Zodiac sign - aries

Favorite fruit - mmm kiwi? raspberries? strawberries? mangos!!! i fucking love fruits i don’t know i love them all

Favorite season - probably summer!

Favorite color - pink!! pink pink pink!

Coffee, Tea or Hot Cocoa - hot chocolate!!!

Favorite animal(s) - GOATS (if ur reading this @ me in goats)

Dream trip - i’ve been there very very briefly but i’d love to live in germany for a little?? i guess that’s not a trip but idk i’d be happy going on a trip anywhere tbh :’)

Number of blankets you sleep with - one!

Dogs or cats - i love my cats!! even though i’ve recently discovered that i’m probably allergic fjdkslf

Side blog - this... used to be a sideblog until i became too involved with mx and snsd :// so i guess my old main is a sideblog? idk @morningcomes​ <<<

Follower count - a little over 700!!! i love u all thanks for putting up w me

When did you start this blog - this particular blog was the beginning of 2017! but ive been on tumblr since like 2010 i think ://

relationship status: it’s... um.... it’s complicated fdkslfjsd let’s just say im in a relationship even though im not sure if we’re actually dating or what we’re doing.... let’s just say that

favorite color: pink!!!!!!!!!!!!

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick

last song i listened to: i really like humble and dna by kendrick lamar so i’ve had those on repeat the last few days!

last movie i watched: ... moana?? god it’s really been a long time since i’ve watched a movie

top three tv shows: friends!!! fullmetal alchemist brotherhood if that counts? avatar the last airbender.. a forever favorite

top three characters: look im the worst at coming up w these things so i’ll just give my favorites from the above shows: rachel!! or monica or chandler i don’t know i love them all :( envy!! winry!!! zuko and toph!

top three ships: ok i just want to clarify like.. pairings and not ships but joohyuk!! hyohyun :’’) and.... wow how am i supposed to limit this to a third one i guess i’ll say kihyuk because im in love with them the past few days

Bold the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have had braces There is something i would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin I am an introvert I like meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports I’ve been on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event (i honestly don’t know what this means but imma say yes) I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship I have a celebrity crush I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend

(ok listen... lemme just reiterate... not sure if what im in is considered a relationship fdjkslfds)

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages fluently I have made a new friend in the past year

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes!!! im so grateful

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? i honestly have no clue i say it all the time through messages but im like... emotionally stunted in real life lmao

3. do you regret anything? yea mostly just opportunities that i should’ve taken that i don’t because i don’t have the will to put in the effort ://

4. are you insecure? not usually!

5. what’s your relationship status? listen.... complicated....

6. how do you want to die? this is 2 morbid for me next please

7. what did you last eat? bugles!!! i love bugles

8. played any sports? i ran cross country in high school for 3 years and did track for one!!

9. do you bite your nails? nope

10. when was your last physical fight? ha h ah haha i don’t think i’ve ever been in a physical fight

11. do you like someone? yea!

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? yes... too many times

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? no, not really!

14. do you miss someone? yea i miss a few of my high school friends that i wish i got to see more often and i miss us all hanging out as a group

15. have any pets?
 my family has 4 cats!

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
 A+!

17. ever made out in the bathroom? damn i was ready to say no but.... i actually have.... im shocked at myself

18. are you scared of spiders?
 in certain situations?? who am i kidding lfjdkslfd yes

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? nah

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? ummmmmm my bed

21. what are your plans for this weekend? sleep and study :(

22. do you want to have kids? how many? idk?? i’m not very passionate about it tbh i’d be happy with anywhere between 0-3 kids

23. do you have piercings? how many? both my ears are double pierced!

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? i fuckin love math!! i would die for math also im pretty good at chemistry physics and computer science idk most things math/science related :)

25. do you miss anyone from your past?
 mostly just the same as before?? miss some of my hs friends

26. what are you craving right now?
 ..sleep

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
 i don’t think so??

28. have you ever been cheated on?
 nope!

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
 yea :(

30. what’s irritating you right now? too much to do too little time

31. does somebody love you? ..yes? i hope

32. what is your favourite color? pink!!!!!!!

33. do you have trust issues? not really trust issues but like i said before i think im like.. emotionally stunted or smth

34. who/what was your last dream about? i hoenstly can’t remember any recent dreams

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my ?boyfriend? lmao i cry all the time

36. do you give out second chances too easily? mmm idk? i’ve honestly never really thought about it

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forget ://

38. is this year the best year of your life?
 noooo

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? 18!

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? fdjskflds no

51. favourite food?
 yo this just jumped from 40 to 51 fjdklsfdjsk anyway um! chicken

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? lmao no that’s some wishful thinking :(

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
 i did most of my computer science lab :/

54. is cheating ever okay?
 no

55. are you mean? sometimes i can be really bad about impulsively saying things and... yea it can be mean :( but like in general? i don’t think im a mean person

56. how many people have you fist fought? i would cry if someone tried to fight me

57. do you believe in true love?
 yea!

58. favourite weather? gimme that sunshine, no humidity with a breeze

59. do you like the snow? yea!! but not excessively

60. do you wanna get married? yeah? but also it’s not like one of my overlying life goals ya know but if it happens that would be nice

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? honestly whenever i hear people say baby in real life i cringe fjdsklfds idk i mean i say it in the tags on here but in real life... nah and i call some of my friends babe but i do it jokingly it just seems weird to do that like.. romantically

62. what makes you happy? getting time to myself!!! to do the things i want to do and relax! to spend time with my friends just relaxing as well! in particular getting to paint and getting to play piano make me really happy and relaxed

63. would you change your name? nope!

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
 nope!

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ummm did u mean... my current situation jfkdlsfs

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yes mostly?? he definitely thinks im a lil weird when im like 100% myself but he still loves me anyway so :’)

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
 ^^^ said above best friend

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my high school best friend?? i think

69. do you believe in soulmates? not really it’s a nice idea though

70. is there anyone you would die for? probably a few of my closest friends

fdskfdlsfjdks hope none of u read all that!!! this deserves to be my about page tbh

[thelandofmrsparkle]

w e e k o n e july 27 - august 2, 2002

While my sayonara soirée met or exceeded all expectations for a good time and hot-ass send off (and thanks to all who came out to see me off, particularly special musical guests Dr. Octoboobies, The Wolfnote and Charter Trip a.k.a. Daive - nice call, Pete!), there was something that didn't feel right the entire week of my preparations for the move to Japan. And I think it was not knowing if I had a place in the world. I had envisioned my final week as one of reaffirming my ties to people so that I could take those with me to my new home, far far away from everyone and everything I've known up to that point. And this was largely the case, with one exception - the one person more important, playing a larger role in my life, than all others combined.

It was really my own fault - I let my own insecurities and self-consciousness and anguish over my myriad shortcomings get the best of me. So instead of making the most of our last days and hours together, I spent them feeling hurt and resenting her for pursuing her own life, because it became apparent that my place in her life may be radically different than how it has been. In fact, my place had changed radically within the course of a week. Or at least I believed it had, no matter how much she reassured me otherwise. No matter what she said, I looked for incongruencies in what she did. And I found them, then anguished over them instead of just relishing my good fortune for having her in my life at all.

Now, it's not entirely my fault - I was couch surfing for a week while simultaneously at death's door with hella flu (on my birthday no less!), so I was all discombobulated and barely ate anything at all for the final week. Not the best state o' mind to begin with, then compound that with moving-to-another-continent stress and things get kind of distorted in one's feverish and nutrient-starved servo.

So, while I'm glad I got to say goodbye in style at the sayonara soirée (if you were invited and didn't come and have not a valid excuse communicated to me either prior to or immediately following, rest assured you are on my shit list!), the goodbye I wanted for the person who matters most did not happen the way I wish it had.

This is typical me - crying about what I might not have, disregarding the amazing number of truly fantastic people I have in my life!

last-minute packing: July 26, 2002

The flight to Narita airport 1ce again confirmed my inability to sleep in a moving vehicle. Lengthy and largely uneventful. I took advantage of the time by grilling the 16-year-old Japanese girl sitting next to me about "kokkoi" nihon-go. Cho is cooler than totemo(Lily, don't let it go to your head!); Makadonorado is shortened to Maka by those in the know. My nihon go no sensei was returning home to Tokyo from a 6-month stay learning eigo in Ottawa. She truly did not want to go back and was almost in tears when we touched down at Narita Airport. I added her to my mental list of Japanese women I know who did not want to go back after visiting Canada - what exactly is that all about?

(my Air Canada flight AC1 nihon-go no sensei -domo arigato gozaimashita!) A three-hour bus ride from Narita (what kind of city has its airport 3 HOURS from downtown?) took us to the lovely Keio Plaza Hotel in Shinjuku, which for the next 3 days would be subjected to 1,500 JETS renacting frosh week. Not really my scene, so I stuck mostly with folks I knew already, or wandered around on my own. The first night, lost in Shinjuku, I wandered by a closed office tower surrounded by packs of Japanese kids with all manner of boomboxes blaring drum and bass, hip hop, j-pop and everything in between, breakdancing or executing Britney Spears-style coordinated group dance moves. It was my first taste of the Japan I was hoping to stumble onto and here I was, literally stumbling onto it.

The other JET's are largely the middle-class cream of the college crop - young, smart, attractive and capable - so they were largely not real interesting to hang out with. In fact, I'm being kind - there are some serious dullards in the crop. I found the boys particularly homogenous in a cookie-cutter gelled-haircut stylee. OK, there were some pretty cool and interesting folks I met, but I'm going to try not to dwell on them, since I will likely not be seeing them again.

I felt a little black sheep-esque, being not so young, or attractive, but that's really an extension of my university experience. And anyhow, I still had smart and capable and not quite so mind-numbingly dull going for me! Still, I commisserated with someone who while sympathetic, herself scored full marks in all four categories, making her commisseration somewhat disingenuous (spelling?). But as Thi would say, "no mattah!"

Props to Nads and Jen for taking me away from the Keio Plaza JET summer camp por la comida mexicana. Props to Mai for taking me away from frosh week at Keoi Plaza for some itari no ryooori and shoppingu, even if she did tell me that I was fat (like I needed that pointed out to me!). She brought me Bruce Lee action figures though, so really, it all balances out. You, know, like yin and yang!

Picked up the next day by Itabashi-sensei and Yamasigawa-sensei, who both seem very nice. Yamasigawa-sensei's english is not quite as good as Itabashi-sensei's so he and Yamada-sensei at the Saitama BOE remain enigmas somewhat. But Itabashi-sensei seems quite nice and I'm sure I'll get on well with everyone - because when don't I?

My apato is a lot nicer than the student residence-esque place the other two JETS in the area have been placed in. True, I trade off a bit - they are surrounded by JET veterans while I am fending for myself over by Saitama Super Arena. But my place is bigger, nicer, quiet and well-appointed.

Actually the social isolation is tough for me on a couple of levels. One, I haven't lived by myself in over a decade. I'm used to sharing living space with roommates and friends. Two, I'm used to being somewhere where I understand the language - where I can read signs and comprehend what people are saying and say things to people that they will likewise comprehend. I'm used to being somewhere where people will acknowledge your existence from time to time when running across them on the street, instead of obviously avoiding looking your way (could that be a fear of being forced to display their rusty-and-scant high school eigo?). I'm used to having a phone and an internet connection (hopefully phone by Monday - getsu-yobi - and internet on Tuesday - kai-yobi)!

Case in point: after Itabashi and Yamasigawa-senseis dropped me off, I managed to really fuck up my ankle bad by tripping whilst carring a 70-pound bag of my stuff. It is currently purple and swollen as hell. Last night I determined it to be the worst foot injury I've ever incurred and I couldn't really get off the futon. Since I had no phone or anyone popping by I spent the entire night watching incomprehensible yet quite entertaining J-terebi and wondering if I had sprained shit. Asleep at 11pm (noon Montréal time). Awake by 4am (5pm in Montréal).

But I guess this is the "adjustment period" and once I'm "settled in" and teaching a version of english in two junior high schools and the elementary school across the street I will be feeling much better about everything.

w e e k t w o august 3, 2002 - august 10, 2002