#that aro stuff seems kinda relatable

[maranull]

hi,

read Loveless by Alice Oseman.

best aroace book

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hello! If you don't mind, this is half a vent and half an ask both to you and to your followers who have had some experience?

I feel like I want certain aspects of a romantic relationship, the idea of having someone "special" is very appealing. Especially since I find myself falling in the trap of romance tropes, and I really do feel that I want to find that one person who I'd feel safe being physically close with, and not just because I turn my brain off to suffer through it but to actually enjoy it.

I know that I'm rather attracted to men, in theory at least, but whenever there's even remotely a thought in my brain that a polite conversation may turn into something more I get nervous, kinda in a bad way. I feel like I want to put a barrier in and I'm afraid they'll be reading into my behaviour too much. It makes me feel as if I like to play pretend in my head but I'm too much of a coward when real life gets involved.

I've been identifying as ace for years now, and I just turned 24. No experience in the dating department, I've been slowly making my way to accepting being at least arospec as well, possibly just aro, but for some reason it's been so much harder for me. Asexuality just clicked. This I think I may be fighting because the idea of a relationship seems too nice to give up and I've already had a bad experience with an extremely undernegotiated QPR (ended quickly but left a bitter taste nevertheless).

I just wish I could not think about it? But I also feel like the societal expectations of romantic attraction are much more pressing than sexual one. I don't want to lead anyone on, and I don't want to feel this little bit of dread whenever I have a conversation with a guy who I know doesn't have a girlfriend. That's another sign of being aro, right? Being able to be comfortable only when the possibility of the other party wanting you romantically is non-existent.

Sorry for this being so long. Thank you for listening, either way.

Romance definitely has a hard to explain quality to it, and I think that can make it questioning if you're aro especially tricky. It is possible that anxiety you're feeling when a situation could turn romantic is a form of repulsion. It's not uncommon for romance repulsion to feel more like anxiety or nervousness, and for people feel like wanting to go and hide. Alloromantic people can be nervous too sometimes, but it usually comes with a feeling of anticipation and still being drawn to the other person. Or they will usually have either trouble with anxiety in other areas, or issues with romance (romance related trauma for example). Sometimes it can be tricky to know exactly what it is, but if the stuff below doesn't sound like you at all, than repulsion is a likely explanation.

The other thing I would point is that fully alloromantic people often have people in real life they are experience a romantic pull towards, who they really want to be in a romantic relationship with. And if you're not experiencing that, that could also be a strong sign of being aromantic.

Being aromantic, and even romance repulsed, if you are, does not mean you can't have a very important person in your life. I know you mentioned a QPR that didn't go well, and it's up to you if that's something you ever want to try again, but even if you don't. remember that deep bonds can come in all forms of relationships. All types of relationships, including friendships, familial relationships, etc. have the potential to be very special of very deep if you end up connecting to someone in the right way. So whatever path you choose to take, don't feel like this isn't possible.

I'll throw this out followers too if anyone wants to share their own thoughts or advice.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[zeronetxt]

examples from this post below

Aro/Aces

Jason Todd. I'm fr heavy on this one because i'm gatekeeping him cough cough but to me (idc that its canon that he is not, if i ignore canon its not real) he seems like the type not to really gaf. and honestly, NOT EVERY SUPERHERO NEEDS TO HAVE A ROMANTIC ARC 🙄🙄 take notes from me, dc. i have an demi-aspec oc who is feral af and would totally smother jason with affection and he is thriving (he really isn't, hes a traumatised demon)

Chuuya Nakahara because NOWHERE IS IT MENTIONED (that i could find, at least) THAT HE HAS AN INTEREST IN WOMEN OR MEN. The only one i can think of that he would be interested in is dazai and i see that as a "pikachu! i choose you!" moment instead of a "i hate you, i want to be yours" type of thing. i'm not sure how to explain it, but like a forced crush since they have after all known each other for 7 years and literally dazai can anticipate his movements. (im talking about that one scene in the guild arc i think it was. "WHY YOU!")

Percy Jackson. I'm putting him as demi (still somewhat on the aspec tho yk?) because of his relationship with annabeth. idc, THEY ARE EACH OTHERS ENDGAMES. id say pretty much the same for annabeth, i mean, they knew each other for a while before they fell in love and started dating, but tbf, i have NOT even read the pjo series in a ehile sad face

Jouno Saigiku because i feel like his only interest is justice. i dunno how to expand on him, but yeah. i love jouno so much and if he really do be dead before i get a suegiku reunion, im firing everyone

Tetchou Suehiro. he's an (adorable) oddity in itself, but still serious. I don't think he'd be looking for a relationship, especially in his line of work. he is quite literally an overworker. MY BOY IS TRAINING EVEN DURING MEETINGS. however my one exception to 'bro has no feelings' is jouno. why? learn in the bi section of this (its quite obvious tho)

Ranpo Edogawa. Mostly because have you seen him? i'd say his only interests are solving crimes and his snacks (and obviously the ada). obviously he has more, but those are the main ones that come to mind. other than the (probably) one sided rivalry of ranpoe where i swear poe is the only one that says theyre rivals, i dont think that he's the type to make relationships with others outside of the ada. maybe the hunting dogs/pm if he really had to, but i kin him, and i say he is

Trans people (mostly just trans men, im sorry to my girlies 🥺)

just a not i want to put, i think i only put trans guy hcs bc i myself am transmasc lewl

Junichirou Tanizaki. Sorry, i feel stereotypical for saying this, but his body, my dude. also his style, in the manga, he wears a black top underneath his white vneck(?) whichh to me feels like its a binder. also i love that ranga and naomis relationship w him kinda makes me sad, but ill post my theory on that another time. and also his hair (beautiful and gorgeous btw) just makes me so happy w the little clips and stuff. baggy shirt my guy, great style.

Jason Todd SOMETIMES. i think i just want to relate to him a lil, because im a lil silly like that.

chuuya nakahara on occasion but i think its just because were the same height 🧍

ryuunosuke akutagawa because honestly a trans aku would be interesting but not that relevant. idk, i like the idea of it

Bisexuals/Pansexuals

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA!!! I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT. lucy??? akutagawa??? BROS HAD HEAVY MOMENTS WITH BOTH OF THEM. i can not see him as anything but a disaster bisexual honestly.

Jason Todd (again HA). Seeing as people can be pan/bi as well as aro/ace, i see him fitting into that, maybe demi-bi or something. he doesnt really strike me as the type to fall in love quickly, but he doesnt really care what he falls for, he cares for whom he does. i am a jason todd hc kinnie

Michizou Tachihara. my goody, i dont ship it but tachigin is just right there. and the scene during the corruption arc w tanizaki (i am not romanticising this but i feel like i am, DEAD). i love the content w him, and also i noticed he and juni pretty much have the same shirt 💀 but also, bro has piercings and dyes his hair, does he just know he is gorgeous???

percy jackson, i'm not even gonna expand

Tetchou Suehiro because BRO AND JOUNO FR. not even gonna lie, if a man (tecchou) says that he would put me above justice for FIVE MINUTES, I WOULD FOLD. thats the main one for me. the other would be the pushups during a meeting. their moments are just cute, sue me

lol im too lazy to come up with i cant think of any more

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hello again from the crunchy fishstick! Based on your latest tapas comic update, guess you had a fun Halloween ^^ "sexually anorexic" sounds both confusing and funny lols

I dressed up for the day myself...went out as "a maid from the 23rd century" and got a few compliments--but it wasn't until after I already got home and changed out of it that I realized maids are apparently not just a fun cosplay choice but also something sexualish?? :') oh, the woes of accidentally doing something that might be seen that way to others without realizing it.....I sincerely hope nobody who saw me thought anything sexual (I just liked wearing a skirt and being cute for onceeee)

I've been "out" as aroflux/arospec to some (online) friends already and thankfully I didn't find out any of them were aphobes. (yay!) A few didn't really get it even after my short explanation but oh well--kinda tough with non-queers sometimes but they're cool otherwise. Got the "so like a plant?" reply as a joke lol. One friend, one of my closest, had a hard time understanding how I could be an arospec and dating my bf so that was...something. Didn't get it when I was like "I just fluxxed into a demi phase" but eh. At least no one's an aphobe and no one laughed at me (with intent to make fun of me) for it!

The "you just haven't met the right person yet" hits hard though ngl...recently I tried to lightly hint and bring up that I'm arospec to my mom cause...yeah, I'm kinda tired of "be careful about dating" "don't start liking boys too early" and stuff like that. So to simplify it, I was like "I feel like I'm probably on the aro spectrum, a spectrum of people who just don't do romance like how lesbians don't like guys or gay guys don't like girls" (disclaimer: some things have to be REALLY simplified to boomer-minded people, sorry if that offends anyone or seems to exclude them or anything, it was just the best way I could think of to shorten it) and she thought for a moment before telling me "you just haven't met the right person yet".

I mean fair, I am still young and full of vinegar but still...I mean I did see it coming from her but I still said it (didn't really reply on that topic after though). Oh, to be pulled through a laundry machine of thoughts and having to wonder if you're really a legit aro or if you jinxed yourself again (there's a history...fun stories). Maybe eventually I'll reach the stage where I'll confidently think "yep, I'm arospec" on a regular basis like I did about my bisexuality...maybe it just takes time... Rough being a wishy-washy and indecisive sort of person who doesn't have the lines fully clear :sob:

If I want to be arospec and I feel like I identify with it (even if I get a little dysphoria of sorts sometimes), then that's enough to call myself one, right? Maybe that applies to more queer identities too...

Idk I'm just prattling on again sry, in between a few bad days and there's a sort of comfort in typing it all out anonymously like this... Thanks for existing mate, and uhhh the crunchy fish stick is signing off for now!

fjigkdf Sorry I'm replying sooooo late after Halloween TwT To be fair, the comic I shared on Webtoon/Tapas that day was from a previous Halloween, but watching horror movies around that time of the year with my partner is something we do every year, just from a distance, it's par for the course

I sympathize tho TwT I'm still puzzled to this day as to why a professional uniform was turned into something so sexualizable, I can try to reason it in my head as playing with taboos or power and maybe that's sexually exciting for people somehow but I have no idea how that reasoning works since I'm very much clueless about anything sex-related so... Yeah. It's an odd one to me for sure. Always will be I guess.

I'm really glad coming out to people has been a good experience for you overall!! That's honestly so fortunate when that happens TwT And I'm glad any potentially hurtful comment that some of us typically get was only shared as a joke, from a place of not understanding but willingness to understand, or with the exception of your mom, from what I get.

To be honest, it's a sad thing to accept, but I think sadly it's possible some people may expect you to eventually be "fixed" forever, even if you yourself know for a fact you'll never change and will repeat it endlessly. I'm out to all of my close family, living grandparents and parents' relatives, and I'm pretty sure at least one of them expect it to be that way still. I don't do much about it, since as hurtful as it can be, it's just some hopes they're projecting on me without seeing the real me, and yeah, it's kinda painful, but they can't control me with those hopes. Heck, I was mentally prepared for my parents to be like that with me. I'm incredibly fortunate that they're not and they accept me for what I am now (although somehow I think getting a queerplatonic partner really helped in the matter, the idea is probably much less scary to them than me not having a partner in any way, shape or form for some reason). But... Yeah. In my younger years it wasn't really shaping up like my parents would accept my orientation, and they are now, so there can still be hope. Whatever happens to you, I wish you the best either way.

And... YES, if you feel an orientation defines you well, then it IS enough to call yourself one. I only have my experience to go by but I feel it's extra hard for orientations like ours where they're so often stigmatised, invisibilised, perceived as a "phase" etc etc. What we may not get in demonization and hate, we get in being treated like something that doesn't exist at all. And that's tough for the confidence to affirm yourself in that orientation. But yes. If you feel it defines you, if you feel it describes who you are, then it IS enough to be right. Nobody has the right to make that ultimate call for you, but yourself.

...Welp, at least that's how I feel about it. As always I wish you the best moving forward, thank you for checking in, and sorry again for the late reply! TwT

[realredbanana]

For the secondary character ask game: 6, 7, 8, 16

Hi, thanks for the numbers <3 (why does that sound so awkward when I type it 😭)

6. Character(s) you have ace, aro, or queerplatonic headcanons for:

　So, this is like 90% projection, but I kinda see Sara as vaguely aro-spec? I think there’s something about the way she talks about crushes that just felt relatable to me so she just kinda ended up vaguely aro-spec in my head. Idk. (Plus her friends seeming baffled that she could possibly have lived 17-18yrs without experiencing a crush (pre-August) was so incredibly real).

　(Others that I don’t really have much to say about: ace!Henry (because I read @sflow-er’s Supplementary facets fic series and it just kinda stuck), and I kinda liked aroace!Felice from @zee-has-commitment-issues’s Reckless Abandon).

7. Character you didn’t initially like/love but have now warmed up to:

　Honestly, August. I found him vaguely interesting at the start, but he annoyed me so much that I just avoided thinking about him, which it turns out was mostly because I just didn’t know what I wanted to do with him. But, now I have an idea of where I could go post-canon (thanks to some of your posts and our conversations), I like him a lot more.

(Insert seemingly obligatory disclaimer within this fandom that, while I do like him, I don’t condone lots of his actions)

8. Pairing you didn’t initially like/love but have now warmed up to:

　I guess saraugust? There’s a few pairings that I’d previously never considered but now quite like, but I don’t think there’s any that I’ve actively disliked that I now like (in fact, there’s only, like, one (non-creepy) pairing that I’m opposed to).

　I think I like saraugust now more than I used to, in the sense that I now think it’d be interesting to see them potentially get back together years in the future (like you’ve mentioned at some point), but I’ve always found their interactions to be pretty interesting (and they both bring out a quite different side to each other).

16. A song that reminds you of a secondary character or pairing:

　Truly, this was a mistake to ask me because I, quite frankly, do not shut up about songs reminding me of characters, so to list a few:

1. Somewhere In Ann Arbor by Anson Seabra vaguely reminds me of post-canon crown prince August pre-growth and stuff.

2. Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) by Florence + The Machine reminds me of Kristina and the royal family as a whole.

3. Machine Learning by Janani K. Jha indirectly kinda reminds me of Sara in the sense that it kinda reminds me of autistic masking.

(this is very much making me realise how many songs I associate with Simon tbh, because I have a “reminded me of a YR character” playlist, and it seems to be like 90% Simon 😭)

Questions

[mcsm-confessions]

Okay so I know there are other people that hc Petra as bi and posted it here. But I feel like I may have fueled this situation(I'm the one who talked about Petra & Lukas being bi and whispering sweet stuff into each others ear)

I may be over reacting but it just kinda feels like, ever since my ask came up, there has been more asks about her sexuality. Until the first time I checked it out there was only 3-4? Other people saying their opinions and headcanons of Petra. So I was a bit worried but I thought it would be fine. This thing happens quite frequently(which isn't that good actually..) but now theres what? So many people that talked about it all of a sudden and theres a whole tag for it! So I will take the blame. I'm sorry.

But my main point of that ask wasn't sexuality. In fact I don't even have specific headcanons about characters sexuality. Since everyone has different ships and opinions, so I like to just change my mindset. If the artist of this fanart headcanons a character as gay then for that moment I headcannon them as gay. Then the next artist who draws the same character headcanons them as bi, then I think of them as bi. I just think to my self 'oh. Okay, cool' and not think much about it after that. The only reason I said Petra and Lukas could be bi is because I ship those two(which is a pretty dumb reason to use). But I wasn't being serious. If I have to use sexuality to prove(?) it then I had to say something about sexuality and give out a suggestion saying "but. What if they were both bi?". It was mostly meant to be a joke

I don't even know sexuality that well- I'm sorry but I only learned about the concept of sexuality like.. this year. So I'm sorry if this debate didn't teach me anything(I have tried to understand). I mean.. I understand she could be aro/ace. She does have those vibes. I understand why she lesbian, she definitely had those moments if you look at it that way. I understand why people said she doesn't have to be a lesbian, because that's true! The debate on it seems to go both ways

So I'm sorry for the owner of this blog and the people who got annoyed at watching the whole debate going on about Petra's sexuality. And I'm sorry for this getting too long. I rambled at one point...

I didn't mean to cause anything

~~~

Anon, it's okay. I'm not upset with you, and you're not a problem. Your input is very much appreciated.

There was an increase in confessions related to that because people wanted to weigh in with their own opinions on the matter, because it's a very interesting thing to discuss, with very varied answers.

If people don't want to see this debate, they can block the tag #mcsm petra sexuality debate.

[uhshsmsmaka]

Kin list because I keep forgetting and I wanna keep it written so I remember

giving the biggest “please be my friend ur so cool please please please please” to whoever knows all of these characters

But I’ll say them here anyway, in order from the top left going right.

Mikey - rottmnt

SCP-035 - SCP Foundation

Tawnypelt - Warriors

Ennard - FNAF Sister Location

Dr. Iceberg - SCP Foundation

Moxxie - Helluva Boss

Space Kid - Camp Camp

Phone Guy - FNAF 1 (I think?? I never played the games..)

Phillip Graves - Call of Duty Modern Warfare (reboot)

uhhh idk if I label or spelt that right. I hope I did. That’d be kinda embarrassing if I didn’t lol..

———— why I kin them ig.

btw some stuff is headcanons like so and so being lgbtq and Graves having daddy issues

Mikey ROTTMNT- hell, there’s a lot of reasons.. it’s like… really personal with me lol

4th child, plus youngest. 3 older brothers and often gets left out, or brushed off from being involved. + aro/ace spec.

+ orange theme buddy agh I love u ur so pretty 💛💛

+ ADHD

SCP-035 - hmm.

Wants to watch the world burn, and is here for a good time and is really opportunistic with people, and often forms bonds with people for what they can give him… I’m a bad person I know. I’m trying to change.

+ Latin hehe

+ a lot of people really like him when they first meet, and learn the longer they spend with him, the worse he gets.

Tawnypelt - I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about her bc I didn’t read the 2nd arc, but from what I get, she seems to have struggled with gaining her own identity and being seen as someone other than a clone in her family. I struggle with people only knowing me for my brothers so I relate to her for this.

Also idk her leaving Thunderclan, despite her family, friends, and everything she knows and it being genuinely a good place she is comfortable and happy with— to Shadowclan so she can start a new life just touches me personally.

I don’t want to stay here. It’s not bad here, and everyone I love is here, but I don’t feel like I belong here, and I relate to her for it.

Ennard - yeah.. no, I got nothing. Idk why but he’s just like me fr.

Dr. Iceberg - HE’S AN ASSHOLE!!! I’m an asshole!!! Easily entertained, and doesn’t think of others that much, or the consequences of his actions. + mentally ill

+ bad taste in men

+ probably American with a small fraction of his ethnicity from Europe.

Moxxie - Daddy Issues. shit on by everyone. Underestimated kinda I guess???… and mixed morals. Often really polite— or at least is perceived to be, and is a thinker. Can go absolutely feral if necessary.

+ Italian I guess lmfao

+ short- ish..

+ adults and some older kids shall be referred to as ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’

Space Kid - he likes space. What can I say?

He’s so silly. A lot of the actions and stuff he does feels like stuff I would have done/do.

+ brown hair

Phone Guy - tries to help and probably fails. Hey, he’s trying.

Phillip Graves - Daddy issues. I also headcanon his dad was in the military and he moved around a lot and lived throughout the US, so he’s fairly decent at adapting to different places, and tolerate as hell. “It is what it is” mentality about most everything out of his control.

Finds that one person and looks up to them, and gets really clingy and obsessed with them. Doesn’t show it of course, but in his head he wants to impress them and please them in every way possible. *cough, Shepherd, cough cough*

(I met a lotta people I hyperfixated on giving away everything to make them happy. We’re just casual friends now. Except for that one. She was mean as hell to me. We still meet occasionally tho.)

Outside of headcanons, his personality and the way he acts is just very familiar and relatable to me.

+ American (wtf is a kilometer🦅🫡🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅💥🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸)

+ makes shitty jokes no one laughs at

[lm-tomatito]

💔🖕🏳️‍🌈🧸 for Sonic?

Ooh, someone different

💔 An angsty headcanon

He doesn't let himself show any negative emotions even if he feels a deep sadness or anger, because he's everyone's hero, he can't be weak, he has to be reliable, they need him to be strong, free, hopeful.

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

He's actually almost at his breaking point all the time when dealing with enemies. Because of how much he tries to limit his feelings, whenever he's actually furious he keeps an unsettling smile on his face even if he's being aggressive, and the sound of his voice has a scary neutrality to it, like he's not feeling anything.

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

Big bisexual, but at the same time kinda aro or demi romantic? More than him not feeling anything for other people, he just isn't a romantic type of guy, or he's simply not experienced with it, so he just dates anyone who asks him to, which doesn't usually last too long because of how he is, even if he does care for other people. Just a few individuals are able to accept and keep up with his uncommon ways of showing affection, things someone wouldn't expect when it comes to a partner and relationships.

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

It depends. Mostly, I see him as someone who was alone for almost all of his childhood and preteens, until he met Amy and Tails. This is why sometimes he seems to be rude or uncaring, because he's not really used to social relationships and stuff. He gets better at it with time, of course, but a bit of that accidental rudeness would still be within him.

If I see it fitting for a specific story idea though, he had a lively childhood with his actually adopted siblings (Sonia and Manic) and mothers (Bernadette and, was it written Aleena?). In this idea though, he was a very shy and reserved kid with glasses, a bit envious of his more artistically talented and good looking siblings, something he wouldn't care about at all once he got older

[whumpinthepot]

This or That tag game

Thanks for the tag @verkja <3

Historical or Futuristic

I’de honestly have to say historical but I do like futuristic if it’s science related or post apocalyptic so it may be a tie it just depends on how its done or what genre it is. My own writing usually takes place present times with some futuristic technology added in, just because I would be too nervous of messing up anything historically related.

Opening or Closing Chapter

Closing chapter. I love it when things end its my favourite it just feels like checking something off a to do list, otherwise im left with an empty unaccomplished unfinished feeling and that mental list in my head never gets checked off (im looking at you manga i never finished reading)

Light and Fluffy or Dark and Gritty

Dark and Gritty is always my go to, but certain genres I do like just nice fluff- Like most G/t related things. Hamster story is pretty light compared to most of my other works… TSATS is verging on concerningly harsh.

Animal Companion or Found Family

Found family <3 I love <3 especially when it represents the queer community. Animal companions I never really felt anything for… Like an anime mascot. Clarence reminds me of a mascot character since they’re sadly outnumbered by humans.

Horror or Romance

Horror. Idc about romance pretty much at all, like I have ships, and its cute and a common story element but im pretty ace (probably aro) and it just isn’t in my top interests. I have done romance rp’s which I adored but horror is always my top pick <333

Hard Magic System or Soft Magic System

My world building has a hard magic system with some loose rules if that makes sense… Especially my small elves they have a lot of set rules that I try to follow, especially with how their magic works and what they can do.

Stand-alone or Series

I like both, but series does have more impact a lot of the time. Pretty much all of my own stories are meant to be one book though. Theres already so much detail and world building and stuff for me to remember its easier for me to keep it at a manageable length. TSATS is by far my longest story but I don’t really know how long it really is in a book format…

Edit- I didn’t understand this last night at 2 am LMAO, I definitely like a series better than stand alones.

One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+

Im juggling so many things its actually disastrous. Its too much. Hamster story is taking priority right now because I seem to have a steady follower base for it and I want to keep it going at a nice pace ^_^ the other ones I don’t know if I will post so they’re really not in any rush. I would like to finish rats race though just for myself because I want to move onto better things and move away from the boxboy-esque genre.

One Award Winner or One Best Seller

Doesn’t matter either way. I don’t want to get too well known because I am uneasy about people forming negative opinions on me, which tends to be unavoidable for many many famous people, even if they’ve done barely anything wrong.

Fantasy or Sci-Fi

Both :) I do have to admit I lean more towards fantasy most times because it’s usually pretty and whimsical and foresty which is all mesmerizing to me. TSATS has both which I still don’t see too often so I find that really fun to play with. It still definitely leans on the fantasy side since its from my small elves perspective.

Character Description or Setting Description

Character description. I read things for the characters and like to know what they look like and know their quirks and such. Honesty I always have to look at my writing and try to see where I can add more setting descriptions because im always so focused on the characters and forget that people kinda need to know their surroundings… The characters aren’t just standing in a white void 😭😭 I swear. Sometimes I its more vague because I will not remember the colour of Ratty’s car, or what Kats house looks like for example… so I leave the details out…

First Draft or Final Draft

I only ever do first drafts and trying to get more comfortable with doing second drafts and editing but I would really love to have a final draft someday hoo boy… someone teach me how to do it haha 😂 /srs/gen/pls go into my dms

Tagging who ever want to join!!

[aro-absol]

I finally finished reading Loveless by Alice Oseman. Just in time for Pride month! (And apparently also aromantic visibility day) So I thought I'd give you a bit of insight on how I liked it/felt reading it. Spoilers ahead!

I gotta admit, I wasn't too impressed with the writing style, especially at the beginning. The first few pages did seem a lot like accumulating aromantic experiences without much of a plot. Besides, I'm not romance-repulsed and can't really relate to being grossed out by the mere thought of kissing someone. Overall, I couldn't really relate to Geogia in the beginning. That's why I was a little demotivated to keep on reading (but I did anyway).

When Geogia arrived at college, the story became more relatable for me. Beyond the aspec theme I could relate to being in a new environment and being scared of all the changes that are bound to happen. And yes, as an aspec person, a big relatable thing for me was the fear of missing out regarding crushes and dating that Georgia experiences. I personally never felt a strong desire to date but I definitely felt weird and like the odd one out whenever my friends were talking about relationship stuff.

Also, like Georgia, I had someone convince me to try online dating before. I'm not repulsed like Georgia is but I did have a hard time deciding which person was worth chatting with. So I didn't get very far and stopped very quickly.

Then there was the scene when Georgia feels weirdly drawn to the Pride Society on campus but is scared to actually participate in it. And girl me too! And I really liked that with Sunil, she found someone to encourage her to just try it out (and later on to help her feel more comfortable with being aspec). Sunil was one of my favorite characters in the book.

Another thing that felt kinda relatable is Geogia dating Jason after he admits to having a crush on her. I mean I haven't been in that situation yet but if my best friend would confess to me I'd try to date them, even more so before I knew I was aro.

Oh, and the deep platonic bonds in this book were great. Especially between Georgia and Rooney. It made me kinda jealous to be honest. We definitely need more of that in books and overall in media.

These are just my highlights and in no way a real review. Although Loveless and I had a rough start, I can definitely recommend it, especially to other aspecs. It didn't make me feel as seen as I hoped it would but still, a nice read. Over the course of the novel, the characters grew so close to me and I ended up cheering for every single character in whatever struggle they were in. So even of it wasn't too relatable for me personally, it's nice to see a canon aro character finding their place in the world.

[smoshsfavoritepizzaplace]

So I’m Ace/Aro, and the way I kinda realized that was because when thinking of romantic and sexual relationships, I didn’t care. I just didn’t care. Because of that I thought I was pansexual, but because of the iconic Jaiden animations video I realized 0 x 0 = 0. Of course it wasn’t that easy but the positivity and understanding of the fluidity in the asexual community really helped me to not stay in a box

-heart of cards 💜

I’ve heard of Jaiden but I don’t think I’ve ever watched their videos, maybe I’ll check it out to see if I relate in anyway.

It does seem like people identify with a specific sexuality and then get more comfortable when they see others stories and stuff similar to that. Thats a part of the reason why I made my og post in the first place. I know this is something for me to know, but it’s nice being able to talk with a community that could help you instead of you fogging up your own head with thoughts.

[fulcrums501st]

Why ace related stuff in Good Omens is important to not lose (obviously ppl can have their headcanons but sometimes the way ppl discuss this stuff alienates asexual ppl).

So, I really DONT want aziracrow to have a sex scene (which I doubt will actually happen but a lot of ppl in the fandom seem to be very keen on the idea) not because I think they HAVE to be ace because they’re not human (that logic can accidentally dehumanize asexuality), nor because old ppl can’t have sex (that is rooted in a harmful way we look at aging).

I don’t want them to because nothing in their relationship thus far (which is 6000 years) has ever, ever, been sexual. And I don’t want something kinda out of character to happen just for the sake of it. They just have loved each other and that’s that. That’s enough. And that’s beautiful.

I DESPISE it when characters confess their love for each other and the IMMEDIATE thing that occurs is a sex scene. Because it implies that sex is UNANIMOUS with romance and that the only way to truly validate a romantic relationship is with sex. It creates this underlying message that sex is just what ya do when you are in love. Which is absolutely NOT true.

Additionally, most of the time the sex scene just happens for the sake of it happening, when it adds NOTHING TO THE STORY. It is just there because people think sex NEEDS to be there when ppl fall in love, WHICH IS SO UTTERLY UNTRUE.

But this sort of thing is very common in television. Thus far, good omens has done an excellent job of portraying aziraphale and crowley’s relationship without anything inherently horny or sexual which is wonderful because society already places too much unnecessary emphasis on sex. And this alienates ppl on the aro/ace spectrum.

Good Omens has already been portraying aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship in a way that doesn’t alienate asexual ppl and I don’t want that to be lost by forcing sex into aziracrow’s relationship because that is what happens with SO MANY couples on tv (with the end result ALWAYS being alienating asexuality because the sex doesn’t add anything to the story).

Aziracrow has so many other interesting things going on than sex so I think putting it in there when they reunite wouldnt add anything and would be a MUCH less satisfying/heartwarming conclusion than them going to the ritz or the bookshop or something because those things already have emotional value.

Adding a sex scene would just be doing the same thing all shows do. Now obviously it’s important that queer representation is seen as equal to as straight rep so “why shouldn’t we be able to do the same stuff” which I kinda get. BUT the whole “sex always happening after a love confession, implying that the only way to truly express love is sex” is dumb and it’s something I don’t want to see ANYWHERE. Especially in Good Omens which has already handled queer rep in a way which doesn’t alienate asexuality.

[autisticadhd]

Ok, this is starting to vaguely annoy me. I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually aro or ace or aroace of some level. Not completely aroace, but maybe somewhat? I don’t usually think about this kinda stuff when relating to myself, but I’ve been reading some posts about what it’s like to be one and what it’s like to realize your one and I kinda recognize me in them?

I wouldn’t mind a relationship. I don’t mind that I’m not in one and that I’ve never really been in one. I don’t mind if I never end up in one. I actually feel that I’m unlikely to end up in one, with my inability to maintain friendships unless I’m unable to not see them relatively often such as through work or school or living with them. In the looks department, I’d be more interested in a relationship with males than females, but I suppose I wouldn’t mind a relationship with a female. In the physical relationship department I have little interest in being with another female, as the whole girl w girl sex seems kinda tedious to do, but I’m curious about what sex feels like. However, I wouldn’t do it with someone I’m not going to be with long term. I wouldn’t mind an open relationship, but everyone involved would need to be in the know about each other. I know being open to such a relationship is more likely to get myself cheated on or left than actually finding a partner that’ll actually do a proper open relationship.

I’ve crushed on a few boys throughout my life, but I’m unsure if it’s actually a romantic crush considering one of those crushes I had crushed on since, like, before elementary school, and I’m not sure if it’s possible to have a romantic crush at that young of an age. I don’t think I’ve ever had a crush on a girl, but I think I would be able to.

I very much enjoy reading porn. Watching it is something I don’t usually do, though. I don’t think I’ve ever managed to make myself feel pleasure, though reading porn does make me feel lust. I don’t think I’ve actually had much lust for my crushes, past wanting to maybe kiss them? But, again, I am curious about sex.

Any opinions from the aroace community?

[bloggingboutburgers]

I thought I was aro but then you said you were disappointed by the ending of GOS2 and I really liked it so now I'm not sure. do you think that shipping people and wanting them to be together makes me less aro? is there another label for that?

Sorry if this feels rude or anything! Your opinion is totally valid and I definitely see where you're coming from, even if I don't agree with it. I'm just unsure whether or not it's an aro trait to not like romantic relationships in media at all. And by 'the writers' you probably mean Neil Gaiman who is also on Tumblr if you didn't know, he's pretty awesome! Wrote a lot of other stuff too, you should check it out. (Whoops that's kinda off topic sorry!)

Aaaaah, nonono, of course not, shipping people doesn't make anyone less aro! That's a very personal opinion of mine, everyone is entitled to have a different one regardless of orientation! I do think that me being aro-ace plays a lot into me not being into romantic/sexual shipping much, but it's not the only reason, surely, and it's not an obligation that should be expected of any aro or ace person either. Sorry if it ever comes across as that! I've said it before and I'll say it again – everyone's experience is different and I can only ever talk about my own. That doesn't mean anything for other people's experiences, if some people can relate it's awesome, but if not that's totally alright too!

By "the writers" I mean Neil Gaiman and John Finnemore, and p'much anyone who could've factored in this too, I mean, you never know. I'm fairly familiar with Neil Gaiman's work (never checked out his Tumblr but I've read some of his other books and interviews) and I agree, he seems like an incredibly smart person and his works are amazing from what I've seen thus far!! Definitely unparalleled out there, similarly to Pratchett's works (RIP). Which is why Good Omens was such an amazing book to begin with! One of the best I've ever read. So freakin hilarious too.

[zoroomy]

AWL Yr 1-Early Summer

Idk how much imma post on actual updates in my gameplay cuz nobody cares but also this fandom is teeny tiny and idk why not

(Obvious side note: I am 17 and have never touched the og versions of this game unfortunately, in fact I only got into this series last yr lmao)

I'm playing as my persona Octavia (but human ofc), and I am having a delightful little time.

I appreciate a lot of the little things related to logic in this game, ex:

*The way gift giving works. I ain't wasting my stuff on you ungrateful shit NPCs! Plus getting their opinions on things is kinda silly in a /pos way

*Time. I mean it makes sense but also I was still kinda surprised about the 10 day thing. Each day is long and really counts.

Anyways,

Marlin/Matthew can eat salt. I like kinda shy/emo characters like Sebastian from SVE and Gray but.... dude more so just seems like a prick. I'm probably just being salty cuz the only thing ive shown him that he likes is MILK SOUP. Plus, made up drama is fun.

I came into this wanting to marry either Gustafa or Rock cuz the idea seemed funny to me, but somehow after the, Nami is the one I currently have the most hearts with. Pro tip for non-aro friend, find a girl to rizz up with fossils!

So yeah, I like Nami, another fav has got to be Gustafa. He is goofy but also has the best attitude imo. Rock is funny, but I gotta appreciate how he responds to gifts. Like Muffy/Molly, but my fictional dramatized character needed to hear from him that my crappy milk was good after Muffy burned me with the cold hard truth!

Thats all I feel like posting for now and its kinda long anyways, good day!

[flyingcookierambles]

hhehehehehehe octoberrrrrrr

on one hand i still dont like that twitter post and also the allonormative culture/gatekeeping/aphobia from the larger queer (allos only) community

on the other hand my depressive spiral is pretty over now and ive discovered more about ace/aro stuff, followed more ace/aro blogs, joined the r/asexual discord and subreddit, the aro and aego subreddits, the ace sex-favorable/curious kink-friendly sub and discord (lets be real tho ill probably just lurk but its nice to know they exist+educational and relatable posts), kinky ace bsdm sex educator/youtuber Evie Lupine (bro she seems so friendly and understanding in all her videos its so nice!), some books fiction and non-fiction about aces/aspect by aces/aspec, a jdrama to watch (koisenu futari), and also have a ton of ace/aro positivity and educational posts in my drafts that im gonna schedule to be posted on ace week this year so yayyyyyyyyy.

also have a random bell hooks quote that i kinda agree with on how the sex positivity movement is very very allonormative. like. everyone assumes that everyone will have sex someday and will say yes at least once eventually someday, but what about those who will say no every time, not bc they’re “broken” or “frigid” or “prude/puritans”, but just bc they’re just not interested in it.

The focus on “sexual liberation” has always carried with it the assumption that the goal of such effort is to make it possible for individuals to engage in more and/or better sexual activity. Yet one assumption of sexual norms that many people find oppressive is the assumption that one “should” be engaged in sexual activity. This “should” is one expression of sexual coercion. Advocates of sexual liberation often imply that any individual who is not concerned about the quality of their experience or exercising greater sexual freedom is mentally disturbed or sexually repressed.

— bell hooks, Ending female sexual oppression

hehehehehe this oct 23 - 29 will be an interesting interesting time on main