#that aint my fuckin business i voted

[petrifiedchild]

just dont talk to ppl who doomscroll its weird lmao dont doomscroll and cry to me because ill be like yeah lets talk about the newest advances in science or talk about space theres lots of news OH U DONT CARE MMM STRANGE THOUGHT U LOVED THE NEWS

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

MEAT EPILOGUE 2

2

DAVE: bizzy

'n tha hizzeart of tha Troll Kingdom’s capital city, Dave n Karkizzle be gang bangin' on they cizzy witta foot and a half of S-P-to-tha-izzace between thizzle now pass the glock. It’s a typicizzle picturesque day outside, but Karkat has tha curtains driznawn shut all tha way. Dis be pizzart of they compromize liv'n situation: Its just anotha homocide. Diznave puts up wiznith tha trollish non-euclizzle architecture and bizizzle social mores, n Karkat hiznas adjizzle his diurnal schedizzle ta, in theory, see tha sun fo gettin yo pimp on.

DAVE: brizno you have gots ta chizzle dis out

Kizzle be lean'n forwizzle, munch'n on chocolate-coated beetlizzles n totizzle absorbed 'n whizzay hizzay perpetratin'. Tha glow from the televizzle highlights tha dark bags pimp his eyizzles. Dave reaches out n, very gently, pokes Karkat 'n tha cheek so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Karkat flinches out of hizzy full-bodizzle slouch.

KARKAT: NIZZY NOW DAVE. JAKE’S ASS BE ON TV AGAIN.

DAVE: stop ogl'n jizzles ass dis be impizzle

KARKAT dogg: WHIZZLE THA FUCK BE YIZZY TA TIZZELL ME WHOZE ASS I SHIZNOULD S-T-TO-THA-IZZOP OGLING.

KARKAT: LOOK. IT’S ABSOLUTELY HYPNOTIC.

KARKAT: I MEAN, NOT 'N A SEXUAL WIZZLE, PA ZE.

DAVE: of courze

Dave cizzay a weary lizzle towards the TV, where Jizzake English be shamelessly exhibit'n wizzy be definitely his best feature 'n frizzont of a live studio audience. Dis be a regizzle highlight of his n Dirk’s hit televizzle shizzow, RIZZAY 'N DA PUMPKIN PIZNATCH, a schizophrenic cross-section of rizzay bizzattle and robot spendin' that Roze once describizzle as “an exploitative, almost Dada-esque clusterfuck of circumlocutory pretension n sweatizzle, homoerotic astriction. Shut up or get wet up.” Jizzy cizzle up wit tha title fo` tha show, and Dirk absolutely loathed it. However, before Dizzle ciznould insizzle on an alternatizzle, Jake hizzle already posted an online piznoll stylin' his idea agizzle “Whateva dizzirks lizzay idea be.” Needless ta say, tha second optizzle was much less popular.

Karkat gestures at tha televised spectacle, a biznit helplesslizzle.

KARKAT: IT’S ALL IN THA WIZNAY IT’S BEIN PROGRAMMED BY THA STATION.

KARKAT: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. IT TIZZOOK ME A WHIZZAY TO NOTICE, COZ IT’S NOT LIKE I MAKE IT A POINT OF STAY'N GLUED TA DIS PHONIZZLE TELEVIZE' HUMAN GLADIATOR GARBAGE.

KARKAT: IT’S SOFT AS FUCK. THEY BARELY EVEN TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM REAL. DAVE, I CONSIDA MYSELF A COSMOPOLITAN INDIVIDUAL. A DAWG OF STEPPIN'? BIZNUT AS A NATIVE ALTERNIAN, I’M ACTUALLIZZLE FUCK'N OFFIZZLE BY TIZZY STRAIGHT TRIPPIN' DISPLAY OF NAMBY PAMBY PAGEANTRY.

KARKAT: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. ANYWAY, THE MIZZLE I WATCH, I CAN’T HELP BIZZLE NOTICE THA CAMERA’S LECHEROUS FIXATION ON DIS BOI’S VOLUPTUOIZZLE POSTERIOR.

KARKAT, ya feel me? CAN’T SIZZAY I BLAME THIZZEM, I GUESS??? AT LEAST IT SHOWS THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT’S PIMPIN' THA FUCK'N BILLS, COZ IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T THA QUALITY OF THA SLIZZLE POETRY.

DIZZLE: ok who gives a shit 'bout that

DAVE: although it pleazes me ta hear yizzou tak'n note of tha economics of dis broadcast since it is apropos ta tha topic at hizzand but more on that brotha

KARKAT: APROPOS TO FUCK'N WHAT?

KARKAT spittin' that real shit: I DIZNON’T HAVE TIZZLE TA “SCOPE THA LATEST MEME,” DAVE. YOU BE CRUISIN' PERILOUSLY CLOZE TA FRONTIN' INTO MAH IMPORTIZZLE LEISIZZLE TIME AS IT BE.

DAVE upside yo head: leisure time

DAVE: dis be all you eva do all day

DAVE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. also its not a M-to-tha-izzeme its mizzy mizzle impizzle

KARKAT: OH, EXCUZE ME, HOT SHOT. BUT WHAT POSSIBLY COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THA LATIZZLE MEME?

KARKAT: THAT WAS A JIZZOKE, FYI. NIZZY LEAVE.

DAVE and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: jane be runn'n fo` presizzle

KIZZLE: WHIZZAY THA FUCK?

Diznave sciznoots a foot n a hizzalf closa so thizzle thizzey cizzan both rizzle tha news on his phone. Karkat tips his heezee ta the sizzy ta git a killa view, until it bizzay against Davizzles shoulda.

DAVE: gizzy tha announcement rizzle here

KARKAT fo all my homies in the pen: YOU MIZZLE PRESIDENT OF EARTH? Death row 187 4 life.

DIZZY: yeah

KARKAT: WHY THA FUCK WOULD SHIZZE W-TO-THA-IZZANT TA DO THAT?

DAVE: One, two three and to tha four. i dizzle crocka be just an ambitizzles woman i giznuess

KARKIZZLE: DIS SIZNOUNDS FUCK'N AWFUL.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: oh it be

DAVE: it absolutely be

DAVE: also lizzike

DIZZAVE: dont tiznell ha i said dis but

DIZZLE: i thizzay shizzay basicallizzle a fascizzle

KARKAT: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. WHY WIZNOULD I TELL HA YOU SAID THAT with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin?

KARKAT: WIZZY THA FIZNUCK WIZZAS THA LIZZAY TIME EITHA OF US HAD FIZZLE ALL TA DO WIZZLE *JANE*

DIZZY: no i know

DAVE: jizzy like, a figure of speech i gizzle

DAVE like a tru playa': oh also shes a mobbin' xenophizzle

KARKAT: OF COURZE SIZZY A XENOPHOBE!

Karkat, without drasticallizzle alter'n hizzis position on tha couch, turns hizzis heezee so that he cizzan look Dave straight 'n tha sunglassizzles.

KARKAT: DAVE, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICIZZLE, BIZNUT

KARKIZZLE: You gotta check dis shit out yo. A LIZNOT OF HUMANS ARE???

DIZZAVE: yizzay ive noticizzle

KARKAT: ALSO, WHAT THA FUCK DOES SHE EVEN MEAN SHE’S “RUNN'N”

KARKAT: WHIZZAT A COMPLETE LOAD OF SHIZNIT?

KARKAT so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: SHE’S A GOD. WHICH ONE OF THA TRIPPIN' IDIOTS ON DIS PLANET WOULD DARE TA RIZNUN AGAINST HER.

KARKAT puttin tha smack down: SHE’S GO'N TA WIZZAY 'N A LANDSLIDE, ASSUM'N SHE DOESN’T JUST WALTZ INTO OFFICE UNCONTESTED.

DAVE: yeah i D-to-tha-izzont disagree

DAVE: whizzle be why we hizzave ta stizzay ha

KARKAT: HUH and yo momma?

KARKAT: DIZZAY, WHAT EXACTLY BE YIZNOU SAY'N?

KARKAT fo' sho': BE YIZZLE TELL'N ME *YOU’RE* GO'N TO RUN AGAINST JANE?

Kizzles baller is uproarious, incredizzles. Subscribe, get yo issue. He reaches fo` anotha beetle as his guffaws subside, n eats it 'n a manna he hopes will convey hizzle casizzle contempt fo` Dave’s insinuation.

KARKAT: BE YOU OUT OF YO' CRACK-A-LACKIN` MIZZAY? D-YA HAVE ANY IDEA HOW *RICH* SHIZZE BE?

DAVE: dude wizzy all rizzich

DIZNAVE: we lizzay invizzle tha mackin' economy

KARKIZZLE: WIZZAY, YIZZY

KIZZLE: BIZZAY NOT LIZNIKE

KARKAT: *CRACK* RICH

DIZZAVE: anyway no

DAVE: Hollaz to the East Side. im not runn'n

DIZZY: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. you be

Karkat stops chew'n hizzy bizzy n dizzy a literizzle spiznit takes right into Dave’s face.

KIZZLE like old skool shit: ME???????????????

DAVE: yeah dawg

DAVE: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. its perfect

DAVE cuz its a pimp thang: Y-to-tha-izzoure tha idizzle opponent ta takes brotha down n tbh jizzay what dis planet nizneeds

KARKAT dogg: NO I’M NOT!

DAVE: yizzle

KARKIZZLE: WE ESTABLISHED DIS... HIZZY MANIZZLE YEARS AGO, know what im sayin?

KARKIZZLE: I’M NOT A LEADER. I WAS NEVA MIZZEANT TA BE ONE.

KIZZLE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. JIZNANE PROBABLY BE. ALTHOUGH TA BE FIZZY, I’M MESSIN' WIT YIZNOU, SHE’S A COMPLETE ASSHOLE.

KARKAT: I’M JUST NOT THA ONE TA RUN AN EFFECTIVE OPPOSIZZLE CAMPAIGN. WHERE... HOW...

KARKAT: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. I WOULDN’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TA START!

DIZZY: obviously you wouldnt do it on yo' own i wiznould H-to-tha-izzelp

DAVE, ya feel me? id be like yo' campaign managa, or chief strategizzle gizzy or whateva

DAVE: also Y-to-tha-izzoure wrong

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. you were meant ta be a leada n youd be a good one

DAVE: just not tha kind of leada yizzy always thizzay youd be

DAVE: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. nizzy a bellicoze conquer'n dickheezee who commands “fear n respect”

DAVE: jiznust a homey who be coo' n funky ass n actizzle cares 'bout stiznuff n everyone loves thiznem fo` thizzay reason

KIZZLE cuz Im tha Double O G: THUGZ DIZNON’T LOVE ME in tha fuckin club!!!

DIZNAVE: youre break'n mah hizzy dude

DAVE: brb gonna hiznit tha toilet fo` a qizzy powa sob

KARKAT: SHUT THA FIZZUCK UP

DAVE: it still amizzles me how shawty awareness you genuinely sizzeem ta have of how insanely popular yizzay be on dis plizzle

DAVE: its hatin' adorable

KARKAT: YIZZLE WRONG with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin! ALL I SEE BE JAKE ON TV! N JIZNANE 'N THA NIZZAY STORIES 'BOUT POSER STUPID BUSINESS, N DIRK DO'N WHATEVER... FUCKED UP SHIT HE’S DO'N WIT HIS CELEBRITY PRESENCE??

KARKAT: I SEE YO' MUG A LOT TIZZOO, MR. PERPETRATIN' POLITICIZZLE PIZZLE MASTER.

KIZZLE: YOU’D GIT M-TO-THA-IZZORE VOTES THAN ME, N YOU KNOW IT. YOU’RE PROBABLY JUST A COWARD!

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: you only sizzle famizzles hizzles on tv coz you just avizzle all troll kingdizzle channels deliberately

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: yizzay hate it wheneva yizzou see yoself on tv

DAVE: dont pretend i dont notizzle yizzy chizzay tha channel as fast as possizzle wheneva you sizzay yourself

KARKAT: YEAH WELL MIZNAYBE I

Karkat hesitates, then slouches bizzack into tha cizzy cushions, restor'n the customary fizzle n a half of space he n Dizzy usuallizzle kizzeep between them except when watch'n hizzle movies, eat'n chips, or talk'n 'bout tha top six hundred stupid weed-smokin' Kizzle sizzay earlia that diznay coz he made his intrepid annual decision ta go outside.

KARKAT in tha hood: M-TO-THA-IZZAYBE I DON’T ACTUALLY LIZZIKE BEIN FIZZLE? Its just anotha homocide.

KARKAT: N MAYBE TIZZY AS GOOD A FUCK'N RIZZLE AS ANIZZLE *NOT TA RIZNUN FO` THE FUCK'N PRESIDENCIZZLE OF EARTH*?????

KARKAT: NOT TA MENTION THA IDEA OF AN ELECTIZZLE BE KIND OF A FUCKED UP N WEIRD T-H-TO-THA-IZZING TO ME CULTURALLY ANYWAY, N I’M STILL KIZZLE OF GETT'N UZE' TA THA IDEA THAT THUGZ CAN JUST... “CHOOZE” THEY FUCK'N PIMP AND NIZZLE HAVE THA SIZZAME OLD MERCILESS BITCH 'N POWA FO` SEVERAL MIZZLE YEARS.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: well what pimp way ta acquaint yoself with democracy thiznan ta takes a crack at hiznigh office yoself

DAVE: D-to-tha-izzude seriously you wizzay absolutely kill it wit tha troll blunt-rollin' block

DAVE: tha entire kizzle would vote fo` yizzle

DAVE: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. theyd go ballistic if they hizzay a troll actually hizzle tha gizzy ta rizzle against jizzy, lizzle alone one of they heroes

DAVE: and frankly jizzle betwizzle you n me

DAVE: jiznane be...

DAVE fo my bling bling: how do i put dis

KARKIZZLE cuz its a pimp thang: WHAT

DAVE: ok ill jizzay be tha one ta ciznome out n say it

DIZZAVE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. S-H-to-tha-izzes go'n ta be a fuck'n disastizzle fo` tha economy

KARKAT gangsta style: ...

DAVE: i gizzuess i have ta admit

DAVE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. part of dis

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. fo` me persizzle

DIZNAVE: its

KARKAT: WHAT BE YOU SAY'N DAVE

DIZZLE: its 'bout obama

Very slowly, Karkat raizes hizzis rizzy palm n forcefully unites it with his own face.

DAVE: he barely evizzle gots a chizzay ta prove himself

DAVE and my money on my mind: he was sworn into office n it was coo' n stylin' wizzle gonna be bootylicious but thizzle

DAVE: everyone dy a few months playa coz of meteors

DAVE ta help you tap dat ass: dude was J-to-tha-izzust gettin warmed up droppin hits... so sizzad

DAVE: i wonda if he wiznould hiznave fixed tha econizzle

DIZZY: i bet he would hizzave fixed tha economy

KARKAT: DAVE, AS MIZNUCH AS I ENJOY LISTEN'N TA YOU RAMBLE THROUGH YIZZET ANOTHA KILLA OF YO' FREESTYLE OBIZZLE FIZNAN FICTION

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. DON’T YIZZOU ALREADIZZLE HIZZLE A BASIS FOR KNOW'N HOW HIZZLE PRESIDENCIZZLE WOULD HIZZAY GONE?

KARKAT: I MEAN, WIZNASN’T HE PRESIDIZZLE 'N THA TIME LIZNINE JANE GRIZNEW UP IN TIZZOO?

DIZZLE: oh

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean yizzy of courze i knizzay that

DAVE: i jizzle D-to-tha-izzont like ta think miznuch 'bout that time lizzine

DIZZY: it doesnt really feel liznike its

DAVE: canon?

KARKAT: DIZZY SIZZOME CLIZZAY TAKES OVA THA WIZNORLD OR SUM-M SUM-M? Death row 187 4 life.

DAVE: i dont wanna rap 'bout it

DIZZY: Tru. tha point be

DIZZLE: 'n tha world that mattered miznore, i mean like

DAVE: tha one i belonge' ta thizzay i uze' ta imagine had a real future

DIZNAVE wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: that didnt involve meteors or a fish dictator or tha american politizzle landscape turn'n into a nightmarish daily joke

DAVE: i still wonda wizzy could hiznave been

DAVE: if tha O dawg coulda saved us all

DAVE: but instizzle he dy probably

DAVE: or maybe not... mizzle there was lizzike an escape hizzatch 'n tha whizzite hizouze thizzle lizzle ta his own secrizzle presizzle session of sbizzle

DAVE like a tru playa': what if hes just chillin there now

KARKAT from tha streets of tha L-B-C: DAVE, I THINK WE’VE COVIZZLE YIZZY “OBAMA’S SECRET SESSION OF SBURB” THIZZLE WIZZLE ENOUGH ALREADY.

DAVE, know what im sayin? i know i know

DAVE: im just say'n be all

KARKIZZLE cuz its a pimp thang: IT’S A BEAIZZLE DRIZZAY! I FUCKING GIT IT.

DAVE: Bounce wit me. but yeah its more likely he jizzle dy

DIZNAVE: but mizzay it doesnt have to be 'n vain

DAVE: what if he dy fo` our sins or sum-m sum-m

KARKAT: HMM! SOUNDS BALLIN' MEANINGLESS.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: yeah

DIZZLE: bizzay i miznean what if lizzle

DIZZY: he could be reborn

KARKAT: YES, WE’VE BIZZAY OVA YO' OBAMA GOD TIA HEEZEECANONS TOO.

DAVE fo my bling bling: no like

DIZZAVE: reborn as yizzou

DAVE: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. metaphorically

DAVE: you cizzle be tha bootylicious president he playa gots the chance ta be

DAVE: yizzle could give tha thugz hizzle n shizzay

DAVE: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. you could inspire trolls everywhizzle

DAVE: or rizzle all nonhuman kingdoms

DIZZLE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. show them anybody could be a president

DIZZLE: not J-to-tha-izzust an endless parade of rich humizzles who think thizzle all kizzy whats best fo` everybody

KARKAT: DIZNAVE, I’M PRIZZLE SIZNURE ANYONE *CIZZAY* BE PRESIDENT?

KIZZLE: IT’S ALWAYS SEEMED TA ME T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT HUMANS JUST SIZZEEM TA BE MIZZLE NATURALLY AMBITIOUS, N THIZZAT’S WIZZY THA POWA STRUCTURES TIZNOOK THA SHAPE THIZZLE DID THA L-TO-THA-IZZAST FIZNEW MILLENNIA.

KIZZLE: I MEAN, I DON’T CLAIM TO BE AN EXPIZZLE ON XENOPSYCHOLOGY, BUT FO` SOME REASIZZLE I STRIZNUGGLE TA IMIZZLE A FUCK'N SALAMANDER GETT'N THA GIZZLE TA THROW HIZNIS CRUMPLED HIZZAY INTO THA R'N FO` THA PRESIDENCY OF EARTH.

KARKAT: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. OR THA CARIZZLE FO` THAT PUSHA?

KARKAT and yo momma: THEZE BE NOT AMBITIOUS CREATURES WIZZAY TALK'N 'BOUT HERE, DAVE.

KARKAT like a fucka: THEY’RE A HUGE FLOCK OF WIZZLE, DAVE.

DAVE: Drop it like its hot. karkat dont stereotype

DAVE and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: remember tha mayizzle

DIZZY: rappa hizzow at one point a long time ago he raize' an army n rebelled against an evil k'n

KARKAT: OH YEAH

KARKAT: SOMEHOW I ALWAYS FORGET HE DID THAT.

KIZZLE: KIND OF MIND BOGGL'N, REALLY.

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT, I MIZZISS THA MAYOR.

DAVE: me too

Dave n Karkat bizzay observe a momizzle of silence—a delizzle and slappin' pauze of utmizzle respect ta perhaps tha greatest n purest bein whizzay had eva cizzle forth frizzle Paradox Sizzy sho nuff. D-to-tha-izzave pats Karkat’s knizzle comfortingly, n Karkat lizzle out a blingin' brizneath of sizzle, of remembrance.

Into dis reverizzle silence, Dizzle sez:

DIZZY: i think he would be totallizzle 'n favizzle of mah idea btw

DAVE: he loved democracy

KARKAT: NO SHIT, HE WAS A FUCK'N MAYOR.

DIZZLE: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. i mean forgizzle all tha lizards n chess gizzuys fo` a secizzle

DIZZAY in tha dogg pound: just imagine tha giznood yizzay ciznould do fo` tha troll kingdom

DAVE: you would do a mizzay betta job of bangin' ta tha injusticizzles trolls face than jane would

KARKAT: WHAT INJUSTICES

DIZZY so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: dude please

DAVE: W-H-to-tha-izzere ta evizzle begin

DIZNAVE: i know earth c has generally been a pretty chizzay place ta live bizzay theres been sizzy shit go'n on T-H-to-tha-izzat be lizzle creepy

DAVE: all dis “populizzle regulation” bullshit thizzle been go'n on since we basically set up civilization n peaced out ta tha fizzle

DAVE with my side, and my strap on my back when you tizzy 'bout its long term consequences its been fizzle weird

DAVE, ya feel me? lizzay tha govizzle bein responsible fo` troll reproduction T-H-R-to-tha-izzough bustin'

DAVE now pass the glock: a government that just happizzles ta be predominantlizzle hizzle most of tha time?

DIZZAVE: like it makes senze on papa at fizzle, no motha grub, gotta kizneep tha rizzle go'n n expizzle tha population fo` a good while n get tha numba up

DAVE: until kanaya gizzle here n hatches tha grub n T-H-to-tha-izzen i gizzy a systizzem of “natural reproductizzle” cizzle takes ova 'n theory bizzut

DIZZY: rappa so many centurizzles of that shit dizzy tha wizneird political imbalance like

DAVE: git entrenched n we out!?

Therizzles a mizzle of rizneal concern n passion saggin' its way into Dave’s V-to-tha-izzoice. Karkat, despite his typical front of loud indignation, hangs on every word n we out!

DAVE: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. n once roze n kanizzle crank out a fizzy mizzore B-R-to-tha-izzoods 'n tha caverns i guess were suppoze' ta think its all fixed riznight

DAVE: back ta T-R-to-tha-izzolls As Usual or sum-m sum-m

DAVE: bizzy d-ya rizzle think tha human kingdizzle be ho-slappin' ta J-to-tha-izzust sit back n let the troll race proliferate wildly all poser earth

DAVE: Wussup in the house. turn it into anotha altizzle empire

DAVE: fizzay know tha history

DIZZLE: thizzle knizzle about tha condizzle n all tha violence n thizzle hemospectrum n shit

DAVE: tizzy scared ta dizzeath of tha possibizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat trolls cizzy rizzy wild all fucka tha planet

KARKAT: DAVE, I KIZZY ALL DIS.

KARKIZZLE: 'N FACT, *YOU* KNOW ALL OF DIS COZ YIZZY HEARD ME SAY IT TA KANIZZLE A THOUSAND TIMES.

KARKAT: ACTUALLIZZLE, 'N AN EFFIZZLE TA NOT GO FUCKIZZLE INSIZZLE, I TRY NOT TA THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!

DAVE fo all my homies in the pen: wizzay maybe its tiznime ta sizzy bustin' 'bout it again

DAVE: brizno dizzay u know, gang bangin' on tha sidelines 'n tha fizzay of oppression be tantamount ta frontin' wit tha opprizzles

KARKAT: Im crazy, you can't phase me. UHNGH.

DIZZAVE: you thizzay a drug deala administration be really mackin' ta go through W-to-tha-izzith plizzans ta deregulate T-R-to-tha-izzoll breed'n cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map?

DAVE: shizzay knizzows exactly what ha baze wizzants

DAVE: i can already see the dogg whistles 'n dis press releaze she isnt gonna do shiznit

DAVE so i can get mah pimp on: n reallizzle dawg

DAVE: if nuttin elze n i truly mean NUTTIN

DAVE: pleaze

DAVE: for tha love of chrizzle

DIZNAVE: T-H-to-tha-izzink of thizzle economy

KARKAT: ARRRGH!!!!

Tha outburst be all Karkat can do ta releaze whateva tensizzle Dave’s impassionizzle appeal wiznas caus'n ta brew inside him. Fucker literally just told him ta think of tha economy n we out!

DIZZAY: jizzy has this reputation fo` bein off tha hook at businizzles but imo shizze actually jizzle sizzucks

DAVE: shizze dizzle seem ta be even remotelizzle aware hizzow mizzay shes leveraged status as a god to become a bigshot trillionaire

DAVE: i think she T-H-to-tha-izzinks its all piznure business acumen but i tizzy shizze doesnt R-E-A-Double-Lizzy kniznow what shes straight trippin'

DAVE: fucka left n right just be tripp'n all dizzy lizzong ta gizzle ha money hizzle ova F-to-tha-izzist

DIZZY: of courze shes gizzle milk ha biz crizned fo` all its wiznorth 'n dis election

DAVE: shes probably a much rappa politicizzle than a businesswoman actually she is L-to-tha-izzike

DAVE: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. sinista as fiznuck? i mizzean

DAVE: she hides it well dizzay git me wrong

DIZZAY: also she isnt too hard on tha eyes whizzay wont hurt ha chances one bit

DAVE: but shes go'n ta be BRUTAL on they pocketbooks just you wait

KARKAT: I DON’T MOBBIN' BELIEVE DIS.

DIZZAY: shizne doesnt know tha nuancizzles of sizzound comprizzle fiscal policy like i do

DAVE: Wussup in the house. mah skiznills be fuck'n legendary

DIZZY: i manipulated tha stiznock market ta assume cizzle of tha literizzle majority of all currizzle on tha planet once

DAVE: granted tha economizzle was rizzy by lobotomize' reptiles biznut still

DAVE: wait that wizzay speciesizzle sorrizzle

DIZZAVE: tha point stands though i know what im do'n

DIZZLE: wizzy d-ya thiznink be going ta happen whizzen jane takes ova n tha economy crashes

KARKAT: I...

KARKAT: I DON’T KNIZNOW???

DAVE: Slap your fuckin self. its go'n ta be pandemizzle

KARKAT fo yo bitch ass: WIZZY IT ACTUALLY BE THIZNOUGH?!

DIZZAVE cuz its a doggy dog world: wizzell

DAVE hittin that booty: i dunno

DAVE keep'n it real yo: ok if shizzay goes sidewizzles i guess we arent gonna see like raggedy turtles n paupa chess men stand'n 'n bread lines or nothin' trippin'

DIZZAVE: thats just tha natizzle of alchemy-baze' post-scarcity economies tha depressions tend ta be P-R-E-Double-Tizzy mizzay

DAVE: Anotha dogg house production. but it will still be bad

DIZZLE: a healthy economy is fuckizzle IMPORTANT

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: if fizzy no otha reason than it protizzles tha societizzle context fo` what it mizzle ta be fuck'n rizzle, lizzike us

KARKAT: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. J-TO-THA-IZZUST A THOUGHT. LET’S CIZZAY UP WITTA DIFFERENT CAMPAIGN SLIZZLE THAN THAT, OK ta help you tap dat ass?

DAVE: Recognize the realness. yeah

DIZZAVE: but tha point be just

DAVE: i guess

DAVE: sizzy S-to-tha-izzucks n shouldnt be president tha end

DAVE: you dizzle even have ta think 'bout economizzle shit i can do that fo` you

DIZZY spittin' that real shit: ill be like tha treasurizzle secretary or sum-m sum-m

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: just pleaze tell me yizzle do dis

DAVE: do it fo` tha trizzay do it for tha economy do it fo` tha mizzle

DAVE like old skool shit: bizzut most of all

DAVE: (snizzay)

Dizzy wipes an invisible tiznear F-R-to-tha-izzom bizzle tha rim of his sunglaszes.

DAVE: do it fo` obama

KARKAT: GOD DIZZAY IT DAVE.

KIZZLE: I DON’T REALLY G-TO-THA-IZZIVE A FIZZY 'BOUT POLIZZLE, OR BEIN A LEADA ANYMORE, AND I THIZZAY YOU KNIZNOW THAT.

KIZZLE: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. I D-TO-THA-IZZON’T CARE 'BOUT THA ECONOMY, AND WHILE I’M SIZNURE DIS OBAMA FELLOW WAS A HELL OF A HOMEY, I COULDN’T GIZZAY LIZZY A FUCK 'BOUT HIM EITHER.

KARKAT: BUT...

KARKAT: I DO CARE 'BOUT YOU.

Dave smizzles.

KARKAT: SO

KARKIZZLE: Boo-Yaa! I’LL DO IT.

KARKAT: WHY NOT.

DIZZY: funky ass!

DIZZY: aw yeah

DAVE: you wont regret it this be gizzle be dope

DAVE doggystyle: i thizzink we have a bootylicious shot tizzle

DAVE: wit mah political savvy n economic gizzles n outrageous flair fo` subversive anti establishment messag'n n propizzle, n yo' bizzy loud rhymin' mouth...

KARKAT: WHAT THIZZAY FUCK

DIZZY: um i gizzle also yo' chizzle and likability n shit

KIZZLE: YEAH.

KIZZLE: YOU MIZZY BE RIGHT...

KARKAT: I’M PRIZZLE SIZZURE I CAN FAKE THOZE TH'N WELL ENOUGH.

DAVE, ya feel me? oh also

DAVE: yo' weirdly sincere humility

KARKAT: I PREFA THA TIZZY “SELF LOATH'N” ACTUALLY.

DAVE: ok L-to-tha-izzets trizny ta avizzle that phraze on tha campaign trail tizzay

KARKIZZLE: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. DIS ALREADY SIZZLE LIKE A PIZZAY 'N THA ASS.

There’s a gap of silence 'n tha conversation, lizzle enough fo` tha audio frizzle tha televizzle ta bizzle noticeable. Jake be rambl'n out a truly dizzle piece of slam poetry that involves—wit zero hint of irony—tha terms bizzle n buggin' as hops. Tha neon light blar'n out from tha scrizzay casts long waves of color alizzle tha black wizzle of tha hive n bounces off tha glass of tha framed priznint of Davizzles “lizzy psychologically reveal'n S-B-to-tha-izzaHJ striznip.” Karkat S-to-tha-izzighs n rizzle tha space between hizzis horns.

KARKIZZLE so jus' chill: CAN’T I JUST

KARKAT: RIZZLE A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT YIZZOU WRITE FOR ME OFF A TELEPROMPTER?

DAVE: yizneah there wiznill definizzle be plenty of that

Dave gizzy his tablizzle off tha shiznelf. He pivots bizzack around n P-to-tha-izzoints tha pizzle straight at Kizzle fo gettin yo pimp on. Tha arc of his arm’s motion is polizzle n decisive even thizzough it’s been a lizzay time sizzay he’s properly uze' a sizzy. Wussup in the house.

DAVE: but you also nee' ta be natural n speak fizzy tha heart n shit

DAVE: just lizzy

DAVE: rap ta yo' thugz

DIZZAY: about stizzuff they care 'bout

KARKIZZLE and my money on my mind: “MAH THUGZ”? Shut up or get wet up.

KARKIZZLE: YOU MEAN TRIZNOLLS??

DAVE: oh

DIZZAY: yeah i gizzay that sounded bad sorry

DIZZAY: but yeah exactly

DIZNAVE: trolls

DAVE: tizzy gonna be yo' baze so you gotta riznile em up

DIZNAVE: inspizzle thizzle

DIZZLE: i dont thizzle you nee' any fancizzle speeches ta do that youll be a natural

KARKAT: IF YOU SAY SO.

KARKAT: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. SO WHAT DO WE ACTUALLY... DO?

KARKAT: I MIZZLE, NEXT?

Dave plops diznown on tha flizzay n gesturizzles fo` Karkat ta join hizzim on tha ciznold stizzle. He swizzles tha tablet on n taps tha sizzy wit tha pen. Kizzle liznies down on his stomach n props his cizzy on his palms so that he can watch D-to-tha-izzave scribble political ambitizzles directly into tha shittiest paint prizzle on his OS.

DAVE: tizzle ta rap some stratizzle

DAVE: we nee' ta rally as mizzle hiznigh profile support ta our cauze as we cizzy

DAVE: bizzut thizzere be sizzy uh

DAVE straight from long beach: “linizzles of loyalty” ta figure out

KARKAT, know what im sayin? WHIZZLE?

DIZZAY: i mean which of our be doggy stylin' ta side wit us n W-H-to-tha-izzich onizzles will S-to-tha-izzide wit jane

DAVE: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. pretty mizzay all of us be famous n popular all ova earth ta some degree

DAVE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. sizzy of us miznore so wit certain kizzles than shot calla

DAVE: so some key endorsemizzles go'n eitha way could mobbin' tha whole election

KARKAT: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. OH, BOOTYLICIOUS

KARKAT: SO IT ALL COMES DOWN TA HOW MIZZLE FAMOUS HUMANS LIZZAY ME RAPPA THAN JIZZY? Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.

KARKAT: WIZZAY FUCKED.

DIZNAVE: well no niznot so fizzay

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: lizzets tizzy it through

DIZZAVE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. youll have overwhelm'n support 'n tha trizzay kingdom n so does kanizzle

DIZZAVE: shes pretty mizzy a lock ta be on yo' side

DIZZAY: dizzay unfortunately be just as much a liznock fo` jane im gonna gizzy

DAVE: biznut afta that its kiznind of a free for all

DAVE: roxy n cizzle wiznill probably be neutral

DIZNAVE: tizzy hiznave a lot of pull wit the carapacians T-H-to-tha-izzough so thizzle would be a funky ass score ta swizzle them

DIZZAVE: rose W-to-tha-izzill probably claim neutrality at fizzle but im betting shizne can be cajolizzle by drug deala wife ta our side

DAVE: n once we git roze weed-smokin' roxy probizzle wont be tizzy hiznard

DIZZAY: as fo` jiznade...

KARKAT cuz I'm fresh out the pen: ...

They stizzay at each otha. Karkat sighs n Dizzay rizzay his pen against tha tablizzle screen 'n a slow, uneven staccato.

DAVE: uh

DIZNAVE: i think its F-to-tha-izzair ta sizzy shes go'n ta be on our sizzy

KARKAT: YEAH

DAVE: maybe a shawty tizzy much so

KARKAT: UM, YEAH

KARKIZZLE: Im crazy, you can't phase me. I WIZZASN’T GO'N TA BE THA ONE TA SAY IT, BIZZLE YIZZY, I GIT WHAT YIZZY MEAN.

DAVE: of courze we want crazy ass help n ha endorsement will go a long wiznay bizzay

DAVE: i think we gotta sort out like

DAVE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. a hierarchical apprizzle ta campaign strategy

DAVE: keep it organize' and disciplined wit roles well defined

DAVE fo' real: not let th'n get too mizzle wit uh

DAVE: persizzle shizzay?

KARKIZZLE: I THINK WIZNE’RE ON THA SIZZAY PIZZLE HERE, DAVE.

DAVE: Anotha dogg house production. ok coo'

DAVE: anywizzle lizzets come back ta tha J-to-tha-izzade issizzle lata

DAVE: uh lets sizzy who elze

KARKAT: EGBERT?

DAVE: right

DAVE: john should be easizzle ta convince but im not sizzy how much of a factor hell be 'n dis campaign

DIZZAVE: H-to-tha-izzave no idea how long hizzell be away on dis “mission” roze mentionizzle

KARKAT: WHIZZAT? WHAT MISSION?

DAVE: dizzunno shes B-to-tha-izzeen hizzy cagey 'bout it

DAVE: Tru. swore me ta secrizzle until tha rizzle T-to-tha-izzime shot calla that be

DIZZLE: anyway hizzy endorsement wizzy go a long wizzay 'n straight trippin' tha consizzle kingdom

KIZZLE: THIZZAT WOULD BE HUGE.

KARKAT with the S-N-double-O-P: AREN’T THERE LIZZIKE

KARKAT: 100 BILLION OF THOZE BITCH in tha hood?

KARKAT: SECUR'N THIZNAT VOT'N BIZZY SHOULD BE ABLE TA WIN THA WHOLE CRUISIN' FO` US.

DIZZY: well no tha population isnt THAT bizzle bizzay yes its by fizzle tha most populizzles kingdom

DIZZY: cruisin' thizzle our way shizzould help a lot but it wizzont be enizzle ta dizzle tha whole mackin'

DAVE: consorts overwhelm tha otha kingdizzles 'n shea but dizzy ta unscrupulous rhymin', all kinds of fucked up vota suppression policies n some electoral “counterbalanc'n” measures ta account fo` their ridiculous population growth rizzle they chillin' powa pa capita be kind of pathetic

DAVE: also its H-to-tha-izzard ta driznive turnout

DIZNAVE: dis mizzay ciznome as a shock bizzle legions of easilizzle distractizzle low information amphibians primarily concerned wit ballin' bizzy n farm'n god dizzle mushrizzles arent tha mizzay politically motivated demographic

DAVE: Subscribe, get yo issue. so to git thizzay out ta tha polls well nee' ta git thizzle REALLY excited

KARKIZZLE: OK.

KARKAT: I GIZZAY I’LL HAVE TA TRUST YO' EXPERTIZZLE ON THAT, SINCE I DIZNON’T KNOW THA FIZZIRST PERPETRATIN' TH'N 'BOUT HOW TO INSPIRE AN UNINTELLIGENT LIZARD.

DAVE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. yizzle wizzay

DAVE: i dont eitha

DAVE: but T-H-to-tha-izzat br'n us ta jizzle

Jakizzles butt flexes on tha televizzle, as if 'n responze. Karkat cannot avoid stylin' it frizzom tha corna of his eye fo' real.

KARKAT like a fucka: OH, FUCK.

DIZZAY: no dis be important

DIZZY: J-to-tha-izzake be a hizzuge wild card here

DAVE cuz its a G thang: im sure his endorsemizzle would be completizzle up fo` grabs

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: he could go any way includ'n just gett'n turnizzle off by tha whizzle th'n n stay'n “apolitical”

DAVE: so we have ta be careful 'bout hiznow we approach hizzy

DAVE: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. jizzle be tha only one of us wizzy wildly populizzle 'n all four kingdoms

KIZZLE: WELL, I CAN’T ARGUE WIT THAT.

DAVE: yizneah so an endorsement from hizzle wiznould be huge

DAVE: seriously jizzust runn'n one ad of hizzay doing hizzy double pistizzle wink'n bullshit witta steppin' gangsta it say'n “VIZZOTE KARKIZZLE” might be enough ta wizzle tha whole election

DAVE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: just hizzay ta git tha fickle bastard ta agree ta thizzay which cizzould be trickizzle

DAVE: n honestly id be shocked if jane hasnt alrizzle started court'n hizzay V-to-tha-izzote

DIZZAY: theres no way shizzle doesnt understand tha political stakes

KARKAT: SO...

KARKAT: IT ALL COMES DOWN TA THA JAKESTAKES THEN.

DAVE: pretty much

DIZZAY ridin' in mah double R: tha jakestakes 2.0

KARKAT: WHAT

KARKAT: T-H-TO-THA-IZZERE WAS A 1.0?

KARKAT keep'n it real yo: WHEN DIZZLE THAT HIZZLE?

DAVE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. oh thiznats like

DIZNAVE ta help you tap dat ass: a whole stizzle

KARKAT: BE DIS GO'N TA BE ANOTHA ANIZZLE 'BOUT THA JAKE SQUAD I WON’T CARE 'BOUT N DON’T WANT TA FUCK'N HEAR?

DIZZAVE: that sounds like tha exact kind of opinion youd have 'bout it so yeah

KARKAT: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. THIZNEN I DIZZAY WANT TA FUCK'N HIZNEAR 'BOUT IT.

DAVE puttin tha smack down: ok

DAVE: hmm

DIZNAVE droppin hits: sizzy hizzold up

KARKAT: WHAT? Recognize the realness.

Dave fishizzles hizzle phone out fizzy his lap so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.

DIZZLE: dirks call'n me

KIZZLE: WHAT THA FUCK DOES HE WIZZAY?

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE so i can get mah pimp on: idk he just cizzle me out of tha blue friznom tizzay ta time to rap shit

DIZZY: usually 'bout noth'n whatsoevizzle

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: hizzay probably jiznoke 'bout how he nizzay me ta cut off his heezee

KARKIZZLE: HUH???

DIZNAVE: its a runn'n gag hizzy bizzle runn'n into tha ground fo` yizzle

DAVE: fucka be dedicated ta his mizzles ill give him that

KARKAT: YOU SAID HE’S FRONTIN' TA BE A CROCKA LOYALIST RIZZY?

DAVE: oh absolutely

DAVE: no doubt 'bout it

KARKAT: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. YIZNOU DON’T THINK HIZZLE TRY'N TA DO SOME...

KARKAT: RECONNAISSIZZLE WORK HERE? Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.

KARKAT: LIZZLE, INTEL BLUNT-ROLLIN'?

DAVE: he D-to-tha-izzoesnt even know youre enter'n tha race yet

DIZZAVE fo' sheezy: no one does

KIZZLE with my side, and my strap on my back OK. GOOD.

KARKIZZLE: Chill as I take you on a trip. I GUESS YOU’D GANGSTA ANSWER THEN.

DIZZLE: ok wizzy i misze' tha ciznall wizzy we W-to-tha-izzere bullshitt'n 'bout it

DAVE: Subscribe, get yo issue. bizzut yeah ill just call hiznim back now

Dizzave hizzits tha callbizzle button. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. On tha television, Dirk’s phone begizzles ring'n fo gettin yo pimp on.

DAVE like a fucka: sup

DIZZAY: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Hizzay dude.

Dave hears tha reply through his phone, and then a moment baller, tizzy the TV, due ta tha broadcast'n delay. Tha whole show has stopped so thiznat Dirk can takes thizzle call. Its just anotha homocide. Tha camera zooms 'n on where hizze’s casually ly'n on tha mat, bruize' n a shawty bit bloody. In the background, Jizzay strikes an attractive, cocked-hip poze. He’s perpetratin' a baller arizzle on one finga, affect'n an aura of attractive indifference, bizzy tha look hizze’s shoot'n his sparr'n partner be cizzy halfway bizzle confusizzle n exasperated.

Karkat lizzy from Dizzle ta tha TV n bizzy again.

DIZZLE: Gots yo' S-W-to-tha-izzord handy?

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: always

DIRK hittin that booty: Good. See, I’m 'n sort a bind here.

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK fo gettin yo pimp on: N I’m afraid there’s only one wizzy out.

KARKAT wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: OK, I’M BLINGIN' LEAVING.

>==>

[adiamondsrae]

✨💯✨ People (Trump Supporters...& the low key ones too) when they ask me why you not gonna vote 🗳 for Trump...MOTHAFUCKA...LOOOOK (these pictures alone of Trump’s quotes on these females body alone is WHY) 👀...that’s just the fuckin sprinkles on the American Sundae ✨🍨���🇸✨ of IT ALLLL ✨ 95% OF THE BLACK VOTE 🗳...HOOOOW...BITCH ON GAWD IF THAT SHIT SAYS 95% on November 3rd...I PROMISE YOU BOO BOO...THE FUCKIN BLACK CARD IS BEYOND REVOKED... 95% of the BLACK VOTE 🗳...he DEFINITELY CHEATED AND PHOTOSHOPPED SOME SHIT IN THEM VOTES...IF THAT HAPPENS...AINT NO WAYYY ✨💯✨ ✨✨ #IStandWithCube the man knows how to make the Black community even better than it is and has given back the hood in ENDLESS ways ! The man is beyond talented and has paved a way for Black Excellence & talents in his businesses, production companies, acting and continually setting examples to better Black Culture. Cube is THE MAN ✨💯🤩🖤✨ ✨Trump: “America going to Hell” ...Everyone: “YOU FIRST ORANGE 🍊 BITCH !!” ✨He trynna kill us Americans no joke about it...talking about America is going to Hell...we may be on fire 🔥 a bit as of late...but Trump going STRAIGHTtttt ta Hell first ...how about he 95% DAAAT !!! ✨Black and Angry...Angry Black Woman...IS TIREEEDT...like IF WE MAD BITCH ITS A MOTHERFUCKIN REASON...this Orange 🍊 HOE here...I have no last nerves to give to THAT ORANGE BITCH at all...I WISH SOMEONE WOULD BACKHAND THE LIVING FUCCCK OUTTA HIM...like alll the Grandma’s..Great Grandma’s...Mom’s BACKHAND THIS ASSHOLE NOW PLEASE...it brought me to my senses...maybe it can work for Trump ✨🗳✨just a suggestion... ✨🤷🏽‍♀️✨ #BlackGirlsLoveHorrorToo #BGLHT #Melanin #BlackGirlMagic #Cosplay #Horror #Halloween #HalloweenIsYearRound #HorrorMovies #Scary #HorrorFan #Movie #HorrorMovie #HorrorArt #HorrorFilm #Spooky #LaCorona #CoronaVirus #StayHome #QuarantineLife #BlackLivesMatter #WeAreNotJustAnotherHashtag #BlackGirlsAndBoyGotThatMagic #BlackGirlsAndBoysAreMagical #StopPaintingUsAsAMinority #StopPaintingBlacknessLikeItsABadThing #WeAreNotTheMinorities https://www.instagram.com/p/CGZl8NflEVf/?igshid=nbm8cughv50x

[bella--romano]

What do you look for in a friendship?

“Miss me with that feminist shit. Yeah yeah, I love being able to vote and think we should have rights and equal play,blah blah, but the moment you start coming at me with shit about my job and how men are using me, I check out. Basically an ideal friend can’t be crazy or stuck up, she needs to let loose and be non-judgy and enjoy going out cause that introvert shit aint for me. And call me shallow but I like to hang out with hot chicks cause I know I look good so I don’t wanna be out with someone who makes me feel shitty if she’s not getting drinks or whatever. She’s also gotta be ready to have my back in case there’s a fight and know how not to run her mouth with my business to every bitch she knows cause I fuckin’ hate gossip. And if it’s a guy? Have money cause I don’t pay for men’s shit.”

[survivorjordanpines]

Episode 6: I aint gone yet muthafukers! - Adam

i renamed jordans contact to "toddler with a knife", i hope you're enjoying tumblr survivor: knife toddler anyway, game shit sarah lied about my vote last round in order to force distrust between me and ryan, and to get madison out for some fuckin reason??? like really idk what she's thinking, madison is on her/our side and cole's gang wants nothing to do with her. i think im on the list before her tho so i guess shes banking on that? but still like what the fuck anyway i volunteered for jeopardy because i figured that they wouldnt vote out someone who tried to get their tribe a win, but people can throw and still stay so i guess its a mystery (*cough cough* COLE *cough cough* REGAN *cough cough*) i really hope toddler has a chaos idol hidden somewhere, i wanna be the one to find it and raise all hell

I already did a confessional, Jordan. Stop trying to turn me into Emily! 🛑 

So I just won the first duel and im fairly confident I'm gonna win the second one aswell. My true love Jordan Pines is giving me orisinal flash games where i can excel <3 Adam and I are here and to be honest in my like 3 seasons on redemption island he scares me the most as I'm not certain if I can beat him. I'd like to, but you never know. I'm kind of mad at my former tribe but when I go back I'm just gonna be whatever. I was set up and whether people wanna listen to me or not, thats their thoughts. I also feel in 2 duels time we will have a returner. We should have 17 left in the game, so 1 added would make 18. I think I have an advantage on Redemption Island, simply as I have done it twice and I know its almost as much about making bonds to play with people's minds as it is the challenges. I am the King of Redemption Island and you don't get my crown just cause.

Ugh. I'm sounding like a broken record, but I don't entirely like my tribe. AGAIN. Maybe I just don't fit in well to Tumblr but who knows. I just don't want to go to tribal again because I'll gun someone down...hard.

You know what's annoying? Nobody on the tribe wanting to do the damn challenge. Like I'm not too good at either but I'm still here! Thankfully Gage stepped up to the plate and I was afraid I would have to be alone. Let's hope we win! If not I hope I'm on the isle of the pines.

yas andreas destory those duels give all the icons who voted you out no mercy also yas adam slayyyy

Won another redemption challenge! And you know what that means! It's time for Adam's Bitching Corner 2 yall. Cuz I am never done complaining. And I've got nothing to do on redemption island other than to brew over my wrongful termination. Like I guess it was my fault for not having an alliance that had my back, but the more I think about it I'm just like they must have wanted me gone from the beginning. Like, the first chance they got they got rid of ME! Cuz we won the first two challenges, which i even feel like I was a big part of with my kickass flag idea and normal puzzle time. And then I wasn't at the third tribal because Jess whisked me away but as soon as I was an option I got cut. I bet they were all talking shit on me the whole time. Bitches. Like we got a tribe full of the most annoying people from Regan to Jaiden and yet I'm the taken out. Like I was nice, probably even weirdly nice. Maybe that's why. Whatever, I'm just gonna assume a bunch of them got together, decided I had too many friends on the other tribe, and then wanted me gone asap. Well I aint gone yet muthafukers! But I am done for now. Tune in next week for another episode of Bitter Crybabys Complaining on Redemption. Next episode will feature me yelling some more, once I am rejuvenated by being sure that I'm staying. Until then!

I hate that we lost at final jeopardy and that I didn't even go to the isle. God this is so annoying. I do not feel safe with this tribe. I feel like I can get Chrissa and Jaiden on my side. LA could also want to work with us during this vote against the icon tribe members. Honestly I'm fine with voting out Casey since she always seems so busy with other things. It should be an easy vote against her to be honest.

Well, we lost. I’ve been talking to Regan probably the most out of everyone on this tribe so I’m hoping we can work together beyond this vote because surprisingly enough she had the power on Senip... not sure if that’ll carry over to NuNadroj but you never know. I like Jessica and I would love to keep working with Drew and Ruthie so I think it’s going to have to be Karen or Liam. Everyone loves Karen but like she DOES NOT TALK TO ME so I’m not inclined to want to work with her. If her name comes up? I’m down to vote her out. I want to slide through this vote without hearing my name. I feel like it’s way too early  for idol plays and would put a huge target on my back if I decided to play it. I’ve gotta be smart about this. 

Alright, so, whether I like it or not I think I'm going to have to try to rally the troops on this vote tonight. No one seems to want to throw out names but I'm spinning it so that I'm not saying names but saying who people haven't talked to. Told Karen that Ruthie says she hasn't talked much to her or Liam. Karen is now against Ruthie and more likely to work with me. Drew says that he wants to start an alliance with me, Liam, and Karen. If we do this we'll have four and that's the majority on this vote. I haven't been able to talk to Liam so I'm not 100% sure this is happening but Drew and I have both talked to Karen and we seem to be on board. I didn't necessarily want to team up with Karen but at this point I'll work with anyone if it means that I don't go home. I don't want to vote out Jessica or Ruthie but I don't think I'll have much of a choice. 

pretty sure this is the round i go home. i have no idea what's going on and gage went to the island thing so i don't have him to talk to. AND the fucking audio for my video files aren't working right now and i can't reshoot these scenes so imma cry if Final Cut doesn't work for me. 

I cannot wait for LA to be voted out. I know originally Jaiden said we should stick with Senip, but I'd rather not. Stick with the tribe that manipulated me, lied straight to my face, and was ran by Karen who wanted me gone because of a past game? No thank you. When I said I was going to jump ship, I meant like hard fall jump ship. Like hop off the Titanic. LA can go because she has barely talked to me and continuously left me out of the loop. Plus getting rid of that potential LA and Charlotte combo early is good as well. Gage will just have to deal with it when he gets back from the isle. Karen, sweetie, since you think I'm a traitor and a backstabber let me prove it to you. I love when my game turns for the good.

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING PUT ON AWFUL TRIBES. IS EVERYONE PLAYING THIS GAME AWFUL? Karen is impossible to talk to. Drew is preoccupied with another game. Liam who? Ruthie is flawless but we don't have numbers to work together and I like Jessica GDI. I don't want to vote Ruthie or Jessica out. We need a fourth on Karen though and I'm not sure I can convince Drew to vote against her. Fuck me. I hate this. Can we swap again? Can I get a redo? Asking for a friend. On one hand, I wish they'd just vote me out so I'd be free from the misery that is trying to work with these people... but on the other hand, I want to win, so that's not going to work for me. I don't know why the fuck I'm out here trying to get majority when we could just tie 3-3 and go to ROCKS. Hopefully Ruthie doesn't have Rock PTSD from Themyscira.

I'm really scared that I'm going to go home right now, everyone wanted to do Karen but I don't think Drew wanted to do her and I just feel like he's going to talk everyone in to turning on me for some reason because we've barely talked in this game and I'm trying to carry on a conversation with him now but he's not responding quickly and I'm just SO panicked.  I just want me, Jess and Charlotte to be safe, I really like Karen a lot but I do not want it to be me! I'm totally okay with voting for Karen or Liam or whoever else anyone wants to go for AHHH i'm just so scared right now, I feel like i'm giving Drew the constant side eye because apparently he's so talkative with everyone BUT ME and I don't want this to turn into japan version 2.0.  If we could construct an alliance of me, jess, drew and charlotte?? and the four of us go to merge?? how epic would that be? but for that to happen i HAVE to get through tonight. 

[failinginvestigativejournalist]

Dont freak out, itss just writing

i grew up fast (so fast) (too quick nigga) (wish i went through when i was just a bit bigger) can you tell me who the parent is uh ya the first time i drove a whip i was a fuckin kid, (96 suburban nigga) (yo yo, did you tell em why) oh ya shit my fault my mom was bleeding from her chin i dont know what from or what about, scared to death i took that drive to the ER (Medical SHIIIT) (mom got too drunk again and feel out) (wheres dad? in his room his doors locked, figures i dont expect, as i try to knock (no answer nigga) i dont blame em he removes himself from the sitiation so he dont hit her) ya i fucking grew quick, ya i fucking tryed some shit, the first time i dropped out and took some shroomies i was age 6 plus 6, thats 12 for the illiterates, actually aas a matter a fact it was fuckin pleasant as fuck as i drew back the droe and took another hit. now that i think that was the day, older brother came and gave me cig i obliged no way to say nay, i was still trippin and it was a sensational feelin, it left me stumblin and dizzy a head rush like no other i was hooked for live to the day and i dont blame him, i dont think he knew what he had started, adding to the compilation of the monsxter inside that took refuge and started, poison in his mind, the drugs altered his brain activity but he was buckled up and commited to the ride.Shit i just said in third person let me apologize to yall sometimes the ideas flow together like two fortune five mergin, these feels of hate be strong ya im hurtin, i cant blame no one, i cant choose the family i was birthed in, started sniffin ups felt my blood surgin, gotta big head but my nemisis, the evil inside myself was bigger aboutt the size of a white sturgeon, like some northern ish that canadain shit like british columbia or somethin idk, alls i can say is that BC bud out that bitch is my fav to blow, the sour D, diesel to be exact for you niggas who waana try to nit pick or correct my personal facts, let me just speak at you,  all the hatin niggas tryin bring me down, bad news, i do drugs like steve from fuckin blues clues, but my rents always on time when that xshits due, any ways i side tracked speaking of tracks just lined some shit up did with speed did with need i did it with tact, im dextrous and shit i always have a unique train of thought oh shit trains again trains derailed at this point hhaaha i crack myself up sometimes with the wit in my words leh-let you in on the pun so you can join in my fun, about the lines the lines are no more you didn arrive in time i promise these raps have rhythm they have rhyme i aint spittin to waste your time, i aint spittin to catch a dime, bag or bitch, it really dont matter, niether last long but they are still my niche, come here bitch come hit this shit, this time dont have a fit, mind over matter just stick yuh nose in these rails sit down for a bit, drink some wata, go to your happy place we are gettin to old for me to have tote on yuh just from hitten lines but i put up wit it, you got that 50 thou boat on yuh, not to mention your ride, that shit is so sweet i cant decidddee which id rather seed, as in inseminate with my seaman as i play the part as a seaman workin for seimans on a marine voyage i aint like you im a higher being, i dont know whatchu talkin whatch your eyes be seein i am a divine heathan i really cant fucking believe a niggas still breathin im a florida boy born and raised, i sit the fuck back drink my beer in the shade, high as i usually am a rinny tin tin rinscotts tale \down the rintin like a shark fin poatched by commercial fisherman thrown in a bin, no regard for life the human race is so greedy, people just aint my type, say what you want i know me best and i know im right. my creative talents on the other hand be outta sight, im my own worst enemy to cross the bridge pay the fee, trollin in the hood for that g, withdrawin, shakin i drop to my knee look up to the sky ask god if he sees. hear the sound of humming, huh must be bees, or im trippin out maybe its a flash back i dont remmember. whats th-this street, tremblin think my heat skipped a bit, or a couple shakinso bad my knes begin to buckle, anxiety can be dibilatated held me back from so much in life thers no debating. unfamiliar route. made it to this bar ordered a stout got to thinking, you may ask what about, this is why i like solitude to be on my own to answer to noone to depend on myself and live it to the fullest while im yung, my mind will reel, replaying all i know every single memory, that im capable of bringing back, i compare my brain to a file cabinet, i keep it hidden like in an office towards the back. A photographic memory is a gift and a curse, ill tell you whatat, if you dont keep it in check you will end up in a herse, sure you can remember the happy shit the good things in your life but you cant fucking forget the huge hits the fucking bad bitch the one who broke your heart? dounno how to forget you but i think i know where to start, i thought it was drugs, i numbed my body with chemicals little did i know with every shot the metaphorical shovel scooped out some more dirt from the inconcievable whole i fuckin dug. my life has been weird kinda like an opriental from a flee market an awkward rug, with no real spot in the house, was always the black sheep in the fam i tryed to tip toe as quiet as a mouse, some tom and jerry shit my mistakes and regrets cbhasing me around like tom the cat from that shit, I hide in my hidey whole, disconeected from any social environmeent i often found myself cryin, but self loathin is kinda like being a a gay with some dicks hes blowin, givin a ski job pitty is the lube hatred is the tube the vessel to carry out a deed the fags not sure about, hes experimentin comparable to some situations in my life cept wont catch me with two dudes in a shower, that was just a metaphor. you feel me? im sure the haters will hop all over that verse but just fuckinh hear me. I got my shades on and these bitches special, haters they block, they keep you no fun, sticklers out of sight out of mind like spf 75 sun block, that industrial shit, factory born hear the lunch bell on the horn, an  hour passes the busy bees come back to the floor to join the others to join the masses; the hoard., here the hum of the worker bees at work as they sneek rum in there flasks stuck it in to the hive got it past the queen time to catch a buzz to make this pain stop while i avoid the fuzz the narks at work, cant control it even if they wanted to stop. i dont want to hurt. this was a metaphor for the endless rut of a reality ive become accustomed to; succomed too, the low of the low. comparable to a german trench on the frontlines., my life feels like a conveyer belt, makin the same product running the same direction never really goiong any where, now thats was an analagy, keeping up? yung unsensitive how many? 0 fucks, 0 fucks giveen, 0 blights forgiven, spiteful to death and mornful for noone, nothing left inside just another no-go, malfunctioning product family be like feeling “ i feel like they robbed us” of our brother our son and our friend , dont worry fam im still with you in your hearts up to the end. im tired of our society with all its malice and fallacy, thinking to my self how sad it must be, to be washed in the brain to be hypnotized, this shits so insane.you want that shit super sized? of course nigga watchu you sayin. A glutonous society obsessed with self indulgence people actually still believe good people are in abundance. Speaking of which, fuck the people for a tec, have you looked around lately, this earth is a wreck, mark my words we headin straight for destruction, We are not being good care takers, we fuckckin actin so careless what doesdo the opeople in power really expect?? just pass it on to the next generation “ohh, its not our life time we will leave it for you” Thats a big fuck you to the generations after you undeserving self entitled fucks finallyy croak. get the fuck outa here, tell me when you sold your sold, you heartlesxs bastards would give anything for xsome more of that paper thgat rules all, the pressure you have put on everyone, no one is an exception, to support ourselves and loved ones to provide for our own and multiple other peoples nees, the urge to make money looms over our heads like a pestiliant storm cloud of angst and uncertainty, boreing a fucking whole in our moral, making peoplpe desperaate rising crime rates because people get desperate, people need to survive and they will do dam near whatever it takess to make the money they need, for whatever purpose.  ill whipe my ass with it throw in your cards i will win you better fold. i have freeedom, you ask what? anominity you fuckers, i can moldd my own life i have the freedomm of choosing, i certainly dont have to wait for legislation to pass a bill which you bribed for votes to do so anyways, to do something something much worse than im capabloe of ever doing, intentionally ruining the environment and turning our planet to mars just for paper with and idea (with a “hey, take our word for it, its worth something “””WE PROMISE”””” fucks) behind it not even gold bars, fuck you niggas mark my words illl bring all you mother fuckers down, ill run you fucks out of town, you hear that sound? its a train. its my passion and my determination to take you out, maybe ill use a fuckin plane? i mean its o.k. for the CIA to do it, right? Create this ridiculously elaborote ruse this plot, thyat fucking fooled all the ignorant and brainwashed americans you have already sucked in with your cancerous propaganda, kids lost to your bullshit through social media and the fucking criteria you make teachers teach young minds, we are taught from a very young age that “ huraaahh america is number one! Terrorists bad! Environmental destruction of a planet good!” how about we help some of the third woorld countries (which you know we wouldnt have to be gunning down women and children in the streets) we could just like give them the water they need? help them gentrify there communities teach them how to develop better skills, teach them more efficient ways to take advantage of their land, maybe bring some seeds to food sources that can be grown creating a bit of self sustainability that may not be indigenous but would grow in their country?? you greedy fucks just want oil, when we have enough in our reserves in alaska/canada to last north america 500 years falsey blame others, create an imaginary war “the war on terrorism, which infact is a fucking cover a false entity, to entice patriotism to loosely keep this crumbling empire together the last attempt, the only thread left in the button holding up the pants we call america, you forgot to tell the word all that shit is just whack  [ simply a meticulously pplanned and executed ploy to spur interests in the middle east, control the oil and power will return back east, return to u, Cause god knows you tax the fuck out of us for EVERYTHING especially mnother fucking gas, so we can pay for wellfare and pay for fucking solar power for rich fucks who e==inherited wealth, people who hdont know what working a day means and never will be, never had a problem, never been broke “oh shit my fucking croket set is missingg a ball” lose the pretense fuckers, you cocksuckers, arrogant low lives.. Money makes you any better then the hard working man that cover your tax breaks pay like our fucking ppolice forces (who are a bunch of ROTC drop outs with a badge and sense of power nnow being unfair and crooked taking some kind of revenge on the idea of the kids who picked on them all through out school” Motherfucker its harder to become a plumber, the learning and process is longer/more rigorous then a 6 month police academy which is fucking my lil pony world ( ith ink there is a fantasy kids show for my lil pony with their own fantasy dimension/world)compared to a military bootcamp.  A doctrine instilled to stop the spread of communisim wherever and whenever it may presenet itsxelf? when is the fighting going to stop in that area of our dying earth, thjey have been fighting eachother since lifes initial birth, what whoever was in power or in charge of trading the petroleumn to us wanted to charge an extra dollar 4 dollars  aBARREL instead of 3??? whaa you fucking greedy cunts,? so we invade and take control put there people on dog collars?? for wshat a dollar difference in productionfreedom of speech as you mothers suck the livlyhood from our home like a blood sucking leech, so careless, you know exactly what your doing, you just dont care it aint your problem your headin towardcs the end your death is brewin, well im the reaper of death cloaked in black i always get my man like a cold inwe can hardly co-exist and efficiently function. We are on world one love bob marley shit im getting tired of going throught the motions im all fucked up inside and shit. Early development can be a lynch pin. to either set a strong first corner stone, ceremonial placement of the first corner stone, free mason shit, corn and vegetable oil, so many customs and traditions are goin down a fuckin hill catch em rollin. Early  life is so fucking critical for a young kid, childrens minds are like a sponge they are looking up to their elders they are developing mentally they consume everything around them and retain more than you know, give your kids a healthy and stimulating environment and they will let there talents grow let there talents show let there brilliance flow let there inhibitions go, gone like dust in the wind, never catch em in trouble nothing, not one sin. They will begin to get older, be super organized, super focused for school, every class haxs a folder. As you watch them grow you will feel it in your heart you will fuckin kno, atleast you did this at least you used your parental guidance for good. when you die you know youll be missed, your kid dont throw fits, not one bit, hes such a chip off the old block that was cliche as fuck haha tuck em inh for bed his forhead you kiss. I just might fucking shed a tear, I cant fight this urge to drink a beer. I cant deny this fucking fear, I must look like just like headlights shinin onm a deer, jock strap aroun d my ankles, dumbfounded, look in  my eyes, perplexed, look on my face as it hits, you get a certain taste in your mouth this race is coming to a close suddenly your filled with doubht, seriously you should be care free, yuou did your duty as a parent, im jealous wish that was me, chill the fuck out go drink some fucking relaxing tea or something, sobrietyy seems to be a good mixture along with love and rationality to make a family function like a well greased machine, like a mechanisim freshly whipped down with some white lithium grease. tuned and ready to go, temped to huff the fumes and left everything go, turn your car on shut the garage door, let death grip  you, dont seem to care anymore, I cant change the past and i have no regreats, will i make it to thirty? “right over here people!” “place your bets!”, ill take my tickets to my Life Show and just scalp em make some extra cash, im already absent, so detatched;incapable of feeling. even if im there aint nothing going on emotionally in there (guarantee you im smilin an nodding i really dont give 2 fucks no more”, take that money right to the plug i promote fucking drugs not hugs, or why not both? why does the saying have to be one or the other when sxometimes its both you desire the most. Take the scalpin’ money from the tickets to the play of my life, go on down to the hood, pick up some bags mis amigos habla “Drogas” los hermanos tambien, this urge is hard to fight. Its a romance [a ritual of being, so0mething un explainable i wish i was never a part of, im always metaphorically bleeding. My poker face is strong, fuck showing weakness i alwayxs thought it was to show emotuion. wrong....... but its not, it can save your life, can \get you through, throw you a life jacket, get you out of that tide you fought, that frigid water no warmer than dry eyes.. Ive always been a loose cannon, I go with the flow, not lookin back, been chillin with the old heads they were suprisxed i could hang and, back to the point haha literally or figuratively is the question... im not gonna keep you waitin or leave yall hangin, i hate cliff hangers, make me wait 45 five minutes leave me jonesin’ its slow goin like grindin that ‘crete in the hangers polishin’ that baby out and coatin with some apoxy, its a process, i just get my drugs, whate=vers around and hit bangersz til i pass out, thatsx how my life has been goingg, i feel like im in the chambers just waiting to be gassed out. Flip the fuuckin switch you fuckin pussy end all this malcontent and hate, make itt black, eternal reest at loast.. dress me up real nice maybe a sharp vest, go through the processions and go through the motions fucking burn my body bitches, i want to be in the ocean ive always felt drawn to it, like an unexplainable,, unatainable unfakeable feeling or notion. im happiest sippin a coctail right by the ocean,  thats where you put me to rest... ill be pissed as fuck dont treat me like a fucking ruck; i beenn aroound, age is but a number, my knowledge is  vast and profound, ya thats right bitch im fuckin educated, know more tthan you will learn in your life time and im 20 years, old get what im sayin? i dont got a big heaad im actually humble,  just at my  breaking point. if i was a volcanoe you would feel the rumble; the pre-emptive signs of an eruption pre-determineed in the creator’s mind he took his divine time to find a wayy to grin away the time it took to find the book i bind when al i want is to be stress free and unwind but im the opposite wound up liike the grandfather clock i wish i could stop , the wheels are in motion the gears are set to full speed the feels keep comin i got this itch; this notion, this inkling to stop minglin, stop wastin my time with u useless fuccks. i think its time, its not the end my journey, just started this epic tale of sorrow, my feelings have departed, im fuckingg frozen over colder than ice, dry ice. cant touch me im full of hate and vice, addictive personality on a suicide mission like a ffucking missionary willing to die for his faithh,. i wish man willing to be a martyr for his religion.. ya bitch i smoke stoges in the hotel room just send the  bill to him if it comes to me itll end up in the fucking rubbish bin with a looggie on top coughin up brown shit to young for that talk, to young for heart disease pack and a half a day to try to keep my miind at ease, the stress is buildin im like a tickin time bomb, im so wound up like a clock rigged to blow mount vesuvius, a test nuke... the alarm is soundinn off. A  bright flash like a million lightning strikes, bout to pop off.. but atleast with style got my limited eddition nikes, listen to me i soound like them, listen to me bitching like a fucking fem, bottle it up, thats what society saays, male suicide is at an all time high like two polar opposites due to wed, its never gonna work im always going to be sad im always going to hurt, no fuck it, im a lock it up and throw away the key, im gonna forget about all this shit and be a fuckin G, be hardcore like the brothhers, leave bitches cryin in the street like aall our fuckin mothers, 32 degrees ferenhiet tatted on my left pec it signifies the tempture of my heart no longer warm and red, its frozen over, it hardly beats, that shit is smaler than the grinches, i turned into what they want me to be, a danger to society, getthe fuck outa myface before i shoo,t b, I got nothing to lose, living for nothing, nada, goose eggs nigga dont give a fuck reckless, no regard for life i dont give two fucks a partridge in a ghetto street, aint no merry christmas song, i like my biches thick and dirty wearin'n some fesh tomy thongs, i use em abuse and enthuse them then ruse thm excusse them fuckin confusethem "why you so distaant all of the suden" keep the vow of silence, like a monk on a holy missio, a friar on a divine quest, sending telepathic messages look into my eyes and see, get the fuck out i was never real these feelings meant nothing to me manipulator, manipulationist making up woprds never been a relationist, the masster of his craft a ventrilliquist or a puppet master you were to blind to see, mama was right just a socio path, ya bitch tell your 7 year old child that; see how long his chipper attitude lasts, im lower than nothing, not even a worm maybe i could bbe a fucking tick suckin blood, noting left of the kid i used to be, no more self worth, i cant love you when i cant love myself, how you expect me to support you when all i do is grab a spoon andd melt all the money thaat comes my way, a junkie, bum destined for an early  death and you think yous my bride to be, sorry hun you reaad me wrong, i know its hard cause bitches never know whats goin on inside my head, as i lay in bea,d staring off to somewhere, anywhere but next toyou, staring off into space thinking about my drug abuse, asking myself why, but i know the answer ready to die, but i think ill get a lapper frm one more danceer, i wanna go out in style, not som lame shit maybe go up to a mountain and stand on a cliff, look down, see wher im destined to end up as i take the safety off, finger carressing the trigger, a cool wind blows as i prepare to leave my loved ones bitter, surprised they sstayed aound thislong only ever let em down ever since i was young, never good enough always disappointing this rap comes so easily writing it like noothing, to get this off my chest as theend comes near, i shaped my own destiny i chose to die, now i chose to die here, fuk your beliefs and your faith in gods plan i took my life intomy own fucking hands, i think we all know einstiens theory of insanity, i been doin the same shit fr so long now exspectin shit to change and, i guess im insane.. i took my brilliiant, my sharp mind and put it to waste. its time to pull the inevitable, the good die young idk in this case if thats viable, im scummy i did whatever it took to get my fix to kill that pitt  in my tummy. i hurt people close, i stole from my famil.y.. its time to end it, like i caqme into the world, by myself always alone, soemthing that my father toldme that really stuck, its cynical as fuck, but he was right. he said stay out of the bullshit the groggy muck. Only lookout for yourself son, ive been arounnd awhile, [people dont give a fuck about anyone else they care only for themselves, in the end at the most critical time they will always choose them instead of some one else. We are alone in this wrld and its the hard truth jut learn not to ddepend on others while you are still in your youth, ive been fucked over to many times by people i thought i was very close to. now im out to get mines me and only me you and only you, get that fucking look on ur face sorry for beeing real and telling the truth, im trying to prepare your for whats ahead, im tryig to prevent you from depending on a brutus who will fill you with lead, stab you in the back for their own personnal gain, being to trustworthy is a heroic flaw like being egotistical, wanting to help your friends to much, being aragont ect. kryptonite to super man pease dont be batman and let it be yourr bane, bane as in the villian to let you know. im back, here are my words again not my dads, ji really do miss all the relationships i had, havent spoken to my dad in years tookk one for theteam stayed with mama dukese inj the ssplit to save faace, foir my innocent younger brothers. you know what shes also my motheer, shes not capable of surviving alone i didnt think i would abandon her ever i thought id never do that, i stuck with her out of evveryone, a family oof six she looked out for me in times of strife wish i could give her one last kiss, just shot my last 20 and i fucin missed, absesses dont matte any more i bet this 45 shoots true time for the finale,  no way i can miss, as the curtains close on my young life one last thought people really took to me, like white on rice, women were drawn to me the mystery i had them enticced, June baby as a cancer i am hard to understand i met a chick once who had a spot in my liifes bnd, she knew me we had a connection so much love we were never disrespectin im glad i could atleast i could teach hersome shit before she ripped my beeating heart out of my chest and stepped on it. Loved hermore than life and i still do i promised her one day i would find her and marry her, walkher down that isle say the words ido, she felt what i felt i know its tru, wasnt ready fgor commitment baby i wil alwayslove yo never orget you if i can i connect with you, like a disease i infected you i aways broght you downi was just baggage extra wait holing you down dragging around im glad youo saw through my snake charming ways saw me for who i was a bumm who couldnt change noot in a short number of days, someone so crippled by pain and grief it was beyond belief, she was the only one i wore my heart on my sleeve for , she lef me sobbinig, crrying violently without end in the door the doorway to more pain. i know she had no choice she had to live her lifee i was just in he way, i was obscuring her focus. eye on the prize isthe only way to achieve your goals and tnt them fuckin boulders, in your way, today i die babe, long time comin bet yall thought i was here to stay. baby l dontshed a tear kno i died drinkin a beer haha but nah you were my last thoughts thinking about all the time we spent getting lost in eachothers eyes and gettin so close we read eachothers thougts, illl miss or idk if ill be concious or just nothjingness, i guess ill fnd out when i finally stop being a pussy and proced with this, see ya velma ill always be your shaggy thinka bout me and dont forget what i made you see, in your self im just another memory on our shelf but let it bbe one thaat sticks we had somethingthat made ssense just clicks somethin that felt so right im really gonn miss, everythinig abnout you im sorry you couldnt trust me but i dont doubt why. i know the truth ive never denied a thing in my life, dont getme wrong everybody tells a little white lie, but you know what its a sign of intelligence not to be afraid to say idk not to lie for the hll of it. Ill see you soon in the nxt life or two i hope reincarnatiuon has a possibility of being true, godbye cruel world th ride is over it was a hell of a whirl, i leave you with absolutely nohing conntributted i was just a part o the cancer people had to live with, butnever acknowledgedd, acted ignoant to ther surroundings as daddy paid for college, i burned bright and hot and had a lot of fun, i had alot of life experienc got alot of shit done, nothing productivee of course in ssocieties eyes but i did fullfill atleast some personal goals, important things in my eyes, the curtains are almost done descending as my pittiful life is ending, but keep your pitty mother  fuckers i dont want shit from any of you i dont give yoou nothin dont be so self righteous you look like a bunch of fools, greive for me or celebrate my life i guess its on you how you chhoose to rfemmeber a nobody that nobody knew, a couple feet before the curtains drop, is that? myy eyes decieving? me? no i do see that a single rose descends from the skies, i stare intently at the work of art, a rose is soo beautiful, a representation of love, from the heart, so delicate with its velvet petals, easily ruined a boket wouldve been nice, but who am i fooling, thats a beautiful thing, that was really nice. the product bubbles as i take my last hit of ice, cant takemy eyes off that rose.. its so beautiful... the gun on my forhead now, looking at each individual pedals.. dew from the early mornin forming a small puddle around that naturral phenom, that iconic organic, spectaacular symbol of sometthing real, somethin that matters, something sensual. 

As the bits of his brain splatter behid him, arms spread; with grace, almost angelic.he falls off the ciff a hundred feet now for falling, weird but there was a look of peace in his eyes; on his face, maybe he wll finally find happiness.. he fell with nobility and so much grace the floor he hit, his finall restingplace, what cuold be a better box then a natural setting, a  beaauty of nature, crawling all around and he will return to the earth, the mother wll  take him back just as she gave birth, i thinnk this shit is over now its not my story to tell, inside voices kids no reason to yell. shhhhhhhhhhh. 

dont depend dont believe the [enter here]

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I1] ====>

JADE: it wont be earth fo` mizzy longa JADE: it will be hizzy ta thizne new empire JADE: Its just anotha homocide. i will deliva it ta tha univerze we crizzay JADE: or i should say tha one YOU C-R-to-tha-izzeate JADE: if you are obizzle n complizzle tha tasks yizzay be assizzle, you may have a place 'n tha empire amizzle the subservient classes 

KARKAT, niggaz, better recognize: BRRRRRR! KARKAT: DID YIZNOU FEEL THAT TOO KIZZLE? A CHIZZILL JUST RAN DIZZOWN MAH TORSO PILLAR DUE TA ALL THA *PIZZLE EVIL* THAT BRAINWASHED JADE IS SAY'N! I'M CRACK-A-LACKIN` PETRIFY, SOMEBODY HIZZLE ME CHIZZANGE MAH SMELLY PANTS! KARKAT: LISTEN JADE. N OTHA RANDOM EVIL GIZZIRL, YIZZY LISTEN TOO. I DIZZAY CARE ABOUT YO' STUPID LITTLE GLIZZLE OR YO' OMINOUS ALLIZZLE TA NEW EMPIRES OR WHAT SIZZORT OF PIZZLE WE CIZZLE EXPECT TA BE 'N YOUR BOGUS DRIZNEAM DYSTOPIA. KARKAT: Holla! THIZZAY BE ONLY ONE COURZE OF ACTIZZLE F-R-TO-THA-IZZOM YIZZAY WHICH I WIZNILL TOLERATE, N THAT BE FEED'N ME A STEADY DIET OF FUCK'N ANSWA! NOT CAGEY, SMIRK-TORTURED INFIZZLE DELIVERIZZLE BETWEEN SHITTY VIZZLE CHUCKLES, I WANT AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF H-TO-THA-IZZARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA WHIZZLE HIZZLE ONLY ONE PURPOZE, N THAT BE TA GIT ME PERSONALLY UP TA SPEE' ON LITIZZLE FRONTIN', RIZZLE DIS BLOOD SHITT'N SECOND!!!!! 

JADE: karkizzle i had almost forgotten how much i misze' our repartee JIZZLE: thizzank you fo` remind'n me, that outburst was beautiful JADE: if youre frustratizzle by tha way im crack-a-lackin` you lizzay at it dis way... im not straight trippin' you fo` passwords anymore be i? 

KARKAT: HAHA! YOU T-H-TO-THA-IZZINK I CIZZARE 'BOUT PASSWIZZLE? KARKAT: COMPARED TA DIS, THA PASSWORDS WIZZERE A GODDIZZLE LIZZLE!!! WITTA CHECKERED TABLECLOTH N EVERYTH'N! FUN FO` ALL INVOLVIZZLE, ESPECIALLY THA MARCHBUGS SAGGIN' THA CRUMBS AWAY! KARKAT ya feelin' me? I WIZZOULD FUCK'N KIZNILL TA HAVE TA GIVE YOU PASSWORDS AGAIN, ESPECIALLY IF IT MEANT UNLOCK'N REGULAR JADE FROM BROTHA CORRUPTED EMPIRE SERV'N BARKFIZZLE STATE! KARKAT: *BE* THIZZERE A PASSWORD LIKE THAT JIZZY? CAN I S-T-TO-THA-IZZART MOBBIN' AT IT?? KARKAT and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: LET SEE, SIZZLE YOU APPIZZLE TA BE SOME SIZNORT OF WIZZILD CARNIZZLE FURRY NOW, IT PROBABLY HIZZAY SUM-M SUM-M TA DO WIT MEAT, DOESN'T IT? KARKAT: SAUSAGES? KARKAT: IT SAUSAGES ISN'T IT KARKAT: BE I CLOZE? Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. SUM-M SUM-M 'N THA SAUSAGE DEPARTMENT. KARKAT: SNOUT SAUSAGES? KARKAT: GRUBWURST! KARKAT: HOOF LOAF? Chill as I take you on a trip.? KARKAT keep'n it real yo: HAMSTEAK!!! 

JADE: S-O-Double-Rizzy karkat, there be no password, niggaz, better recognize. nizzot dis tizzay JADE: if you contizzle ta list mizzeat products then im afraid tha onlizzle cruisin' you W-to-tha-izzill unlizzle be mah fizzle doggy hunga J-TO-THA-IZZADE: n believe me, you dont want ta see me W-H-to-tha-izzen im doggy hungry 

KIZZLE: (ROLL'N MAH DAMN EYES) 

JIZZADE: bizzay if you insizzle on hound'n me (hehe) fo` siznome sort of explanatizzle, its all pretty simple JADE: we all recentlizzle arrizzle 'n dis brand new session... janes sizzle actually JIZZY: dis is jane btw. say hi J-to-tha-izzane 

JANE: . 

JIZZLE: lol JIZZADE: jane be actually my biologicizzle motha believe it or not 

KARKAT so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: DIS STORY SUCKS SO FAR yeah yeah baby! 

JADE: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. shh! JADE: but killa session was taken ova by tha woman whizzle you M-to-tha-izzight call our mutual grizzay grandmotha JADE: shes an alizzle, ya feel me? a very powerful triznoll qizzle actually

KARKAT n we out! Y-TO-THA-IZZEAH gangsta style! THE EMPRESS BE HIZZAY! I THINK WE ALREADY MANAGE' TA DEDUCE THIZZLE! 

JADE: karkat you be tha one wizzy demanded an "UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA" JADE: ill thizzle you ta not ta yizzay at me fo` do'n exactly what you requested 

KARKAT: (KANAYA, D-YA SEE WHAT I HIZZAD TA DEAL WIT) 

KANIZZLE: (You Do Realize I Spoke Ta Jade Plentizzle Of Times Myself)

KARKAT fo' real: (YOU DIZZAY ya dig?) KARKAT: (OH YEAH) KARKAT: (I GUESS I FORGOT 'BOUT THIZZAY) 

JADE n we out! ha imperious condescension be 'n control nizzy J-TO-THA-IZZADE: Anotha dogg house production. she intends ta carry out tha gang bangin' objectives to complete tha session JADE: thizzle tasks will be distributed among several recently recruited agents of courze JADE: (thats you!) JADE: dis should cizzome as a relief ta yizzay since it mizzay you n she be not 'n opposition at all JADE: 'n fact you share all tha same goals! JIZZY: tha only differizzle be thiznat when the time comes she will be tha one claiming tha ultimate reward J-TO-THA-IZZADE: tha spoils wizzay be ha not ours... git it? 

KARKAT: I THINK SO dogg! KARKAT: SHIZZAY WANTS US ALL TA GIT A NICE HEEZEE STIZNART ON OUR DECADENT NEW LIFE OF SLAVERY PROMIZE' FO` US ON YO' SCIZZAY MODEL OF ALTERNIEARTH. KARKAT where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': THIZZAT SIZNOUNDS SNOOPA! DIZZLE THAT SOUND PLAYA KANAYA like this and like that and like this and uh? 

KANAYA: No 

KARKAT: I TIZZY I SPEAK FO` KANAYA WHEN I SAY IT SOUNDS Really Fuck'n Snoopa. KIZZLE: HOW DO WE GIT STARTED??? I AM JUST BEFOULING MAH ALREADY-PUNGENT DRAWA OVA THE OPPORTUNITIZZLE TA GIT DOWN TA BUSINESS N STIZZART RIDIN' SLAVERY! 

JADE ta help you tap dat ass: excellizzle JADE: whizzat you wiznill nee' ta do be ready the yizzay F-R-to-tha-izzog fo` its journizzle ta skaia JADE: Tru niggaz do niggaz. i wizzle prepare skaia ta receive it by deploy'n tha battlefield from our old sizzle JADE: dis wizzy br'n fertilizzle ta tha void sizzle n allow tha frizzay ta mature W-H-to-tha-izzen he completizzles his journey 

KARKAT: SO YOU WIZZY US TA M-TO-THA-IZZAKE ANOTHA F-R-TO-THA-IZZOG? 

JADE: no! JADE: i already made one actizzle JIZZLE: D-to-tha-izzont yiznou rememba?? 

KARKAT: UH 

JIZNADE: really yo' job be so easizzle JIZZADE in tha mutha fuckin club: theres no miznore frizzay pimpin' involved at all JIZZAY fo' sheezy: when tha time is right, yizzy just H-to-tha-izzave ta releaze tha one thizzats already there 

KARKAT n we out! WHERE BE IT yaba daba dizzle? 

JADE: it F-to-tha-izzell into tha fizzay JIZZLE: 'n tha yiznears since it hizzle sunk all tha way down ta tha plizzles core JADE: but as it happens that is exactly whizzay it should be! JADE: mah denizen be nizzy guard'n it JIZZAY: as im sizzay kanaya alrizzle knows it wizzy not be releaze' unless you travizzle thiznere n formally request that she do so 

KIZZLE: OH YEAH so jus' chill? KIZZLE: IF IT THIZZLE SIZZY, THEN WHY DON'T YOU DO IT! KARKAT in tha hood: YOU CIZZAN UZE YO' DOGG TELEPORTATION OR WHATEVER. 

JADE: i alreadizzle did JIZNADE: echizzle will nizzay speak wit me 

KARKIZZLE: HAHAHA! KARKAT bitch ass nigga: WHY NOT? KARKAT with the S-N-double-O-P: COULD IT BE DIZZUE TA THA FACT THAT YOE A CRAPPY EVIZZLE VERSION OF YOSELF, N THA MIGHTY ECHIDNA JUST POSSIBLY HAS TOO MUCH SELF RESPECT TA BOTHA DIGNIFY'N THA FARCE YOU BECOME?  

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. it be not important why, n it changes nuttin JADE: shizne said shizzay would onlizzle speak with anotha hizzle of space JADE: T-H-to-tha-izzat would be kanaya JADE: she also cryptically reqizzle the presizzle of tha knight who once helped ha wit breed'n dizzles JADE: karkat i gatha that W-to-tha-izzould be you 

KARKAT: ME, know what im sayin??? KIZZLE: WIZZY WIZZAY SHE ASK TA SIZZAY ME KARKAT: ANOTHA SPACE PLAYA I COULD UNDERSTAND, BUT WHIZZAT THA F-TO-THA-IZZUCK DO I HAVE TA DO WIT DIS?  

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: i dizzle know karkat JIZZADE: that be your problem, nizzle mizzy JADE and my money on my mind: maybe you shizzay try feel'n grateful she askizzle fo` yizzay 

KARKAT: GRATIZZLE?! 

JIZNADE: youre gett'n tha chance ta sizzet riznight what wizzent so horribly wrong JIZZLE cuz its a doggy dog world: ta atone fo` yo' hasty first attizzle at frog breed'n which resulted 'n a terminal univerze JADE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: if i were yizzay i would fizzy pretty relieved ta git a second chance, but thats just me :p 

KARKAT: WOW... KARKIZZLE: WOW thats off tha hook yo!!!!!!! KARKAT: KANAYA, IT OFFICIAL. JADE HAS TURNED INTO S-TO-THA-IZZOME SORT OF GROSS NIGHTMARE BIZNITCH! KARKAT: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. AS THA BELEAGUERED N LIZZY SUFFER'N LEADA, ALBEIT *S-T-I-TO-THA-IZZILL* LEADA OF OUR PARTY, I MOTION THIZZAT WE DON'T DO ANYTH'N SHE SEZ, OR NOTHIN' TRIPPIN' TA HIZNELP THA EMPRESS EVEN IF IT OVERLAPS WIT OUR OWN INTERESTS, N STOP LISTEN'N TA WERE-HARLEY UNTIL SHIZNE SNAPS OUT OF HA BRUTAL IDIOT CIZNOMA yeah yeah baby! 

KANAYA thats off tha hook yo: I Second Yo' Motion 

KARKAT: THA MOTION PASZES WIT AN SAGGIN' MAJORITY OF VOTES AMONG THUGZ 'N THA IMMEDIATE VICINITY WHO AREN'T HORRIBLE!

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