#thanks kate the great for being the greatest

[emilybeemartin]

A whopping, like, 2.6 people have expressed interest in my recent adventures in watching Bean films, which is all the encouragement I need to present to you:

An Incomplete Guide to Sean Bean Roles (Investigation Ongoing)

Our guy has a vast filmography, and I'm not even close to being halfway through it, but I've watched a lot of his significant ones in the past few weeks thanks to a perfect storm of illness, injury, and lapses in client work. Crucially, I have created superlatives for a variety of them and present them here for your benefit. Disclaimer: many of these films are violent! Or have butts and/or tits! Some have dick! Some have dated bits that didn't age well! So, if you have triggers or are watching with young viewers, do your research first! Also, these are just the opinions of one solitary millennial! Nothing is objective! Nothing is real! I care not!

Okay, CYA done, let's begin. I'll get the two most obvious ones out of the way up front, otherwise they'll dominate half the categories:

ACT I

Greatest Bean: Fellowship of the Ring. I've said it before and I'll say it again, he achieved more pathos with Boromir than a lot of his other roles have allowed for, and every note he hits just sings. No debate.

Best Bean for Your Buck: Sharpe. For the best confluence of quantity, quality, physicality, emotion, humor, and action, you can't beat Richard Sharpe.

Favorite Dramatic Bean: Time; he earned that BAFTA fr

Softest Bean: The first date scene in Stormy Monday, where Brendan shyly gets to know Kate, slow dances with her, lends her a shirt and strokes her back after she asks if they can just go to sleep instead of have sex.

Most Dashing Bean: Vronsky in Anna Karenina, that uniform cuts, damn

Swooniest Bean: I know I'm supposed to say Chatterley, and he is undeniably sexy as Mellors, but there are parts where his character is actually kind of off-putting. I'll lay a good chunk of the blame on the weirdly ominous score, the very of-the-time depiction of dubious consent, and Joely Richardson's tendency to look like she's having the worst time of her life while shagging the hot gamekeeper. No, I'm giving this category to Stormy Monday again. He's just so gentle and genuine in this one, without some of the obligatory "heartthrob" overtones of his nineties stuff. He never raises his voice at Kate or manhandles her. He really does feel like some kid who just wants to be sweet to his girlfriend.

Laddiest Bean: When Saturday Comes, specifically the strip club and bathtub scenes.

Favorite Sad Bean: As a collective, he has some great grief scenes in World on Fire, but! The railroad track scene in When Saturday Comes?! That was RAW.

Favorite Mad Bean: Black Death; there are plenty of movies where he doesn't smile at all, but unlike some others, his grimness and anger felt proportionate to the story, rather than just rage because he's good at rage.

Favorite Bad Bean: There are so many great Bean villains (Goldeneye, obvs), but I think my favorite is Patriot Games. Bonus points for all the different hairstyles he has in this film (long locks-shag-shag ponytail!-buzz-wet spiky buzz). Also HUGH FRASER AAAA

Favorite Dad Bean: Wolfwalkers, where Bill Goodfellowe literally turns his own convictions and beliefs upside-down in order to protect and support his daughter.

INTERMISSION

A note on GoT: I haven't watched it. When season one was first coming out, it was during a time where I really couldn't handle watching any kind of sexual assault onscreen, and while I have a higher tolerance now, I just... don't want to. I like seeing gifs of Ned Stark and appreciate that it's one of his great roles, but I just can't make myself take the plunge.

ilysm you grizzled dead wolf man

ACT II

Favorite Costumed Bean: Odysseus in Troy: curls, leather, thighs.

Favorite Un-Costumed Bean: He strips in quite a lot of his films, so let's give it to Lady Chatterley for sheer screentime, exertion, and the bonus of being naked and wearing a flower crown. Honorable mention to When Saturday Comes for the totally not homoerotic amount of butts and also dick in the locker room bathtub scene.

Hurtin'est Bean: Bravo Two Zero. Oof, don't watch this one if you have an aversion to seeing pain, although---you're a Sean Bean fan, and we all know one of his MOs is being GREAT at pain. This one was directed by Tom Clegg, who directed Sharpe. Also lol at the sickle-shaped wound on his shoulder, which is covering his 100% Blade tattoo (he gets a lot of sickle-shaped wounds on his left shoulder).

Best Inside References: The Frankenstein Chronicles, where he plays a former Peninsular soldier, and every reference to his service is a reference to Sharpe, including shots of his greenjacket, pistol, sword, and flogging scars. Honorable mention to The Martian for the Council of Elrond line.

Most Unsettling Bean: Cleanskin for moral grayness, The Frankenstein Chronicles for body horror

Most Inefficient Use of Bean: Black Beauty. Despite getting high billing he's only onscreen for about two minutes and I'm convinced the long shots are a body double. Criminal.

Biggest Missed Opportunity: We were robbed of a Sean Bean Odyssey. R o b b e d

Funniest Bean: Deploying Bean for comedy is woefully underused, but he made full use of his ~15 seconds in The Vicar of Dibley ("Spring" episode). He's also hilarious in Wasted, though I haven't watched the show, only the clips he's in on YouTube, where he plays a mock version of himself serving as a spirit guide for a stoner. IMO, though, Sharpe gives him the most room for humor.

Favorite Character Quirk: In World on Fire, when Douglas is having WWI flashbacks and really coming apart, he kept putting his hand to his mouth. My modern brain first read this as talking into a phantom radio, but of course that wasn't right, and then I realized--he was reaching for a phantom gas mask. CHILLS. AMAZING. (Honorable mentions to the Mouth Rub and the Tongue Thing [pictured above]).

Most Nostalgic Bean: National Treasure. The concept may be utter silliness, but you have to admit, this is a fun movie to watch.

Best Dismount from a Horse: Henry VIII, he goes pshwing out of the saddle

Best Swordplay: You may think there's no possible answer to this, but there is---two moments, specifically: the preparatory sword-spin he does at Balin's tomb just before the goblin attack in Moria, and the four lunges he does at 1:26:22 of Sharpe's Battle. It's just facts.

Prettiest Bean Film: Wolfwalkers, hands downnnn

Favorite Bean Death: All right, you knew we had to eventually end here. It's Boromir, obviously--- nothing tops that. But if we're looking at other roles, I think Patriot Games is my favorite, followed by Goldeneye.

So! That concludes this installment of Bean films, though I'll be continuing the labor, and I hope you will, too. What are your favorites?

[the-other-art-blog]

Why Benophie season is the perfect way to finish the first half of the Bton stories?

Now that Benophie season is unofficially confirmed, I've come to the conclusion that this was the greatest way to end the first half of Bton. It needed to be s4.

In the ton, marriage is about status. And while all Bton marriages are love matches, they are also incredibly beneficial for their position in society. The ENTIRE family's position in society.

Anthony is a viscount, an influential one, but in the nobility hierarchy, he's second to last.

Daphne climbed up 3 steps when she married Simon and became a Duchess.

Francesca will climb one step when she marries John.

Kate didn't have a title or wealth, but a married Viscount is an improvement over a rake Viscount.

Colin is only a Mr., but I will be surprised if the Featherington baby race doesn't end with Pen having a boy who will become Baron. He's going to be the father of a Lord thanks to Penelope.

So you can see how these marriages are extremely beneficial to them and elevate the entire family. Daphne understood this when she said that her marriage would set the prospects for her sisters. Anthony also knew that his choice of viscountess would affect the family.

So, by the time Benedict meets Sophie, the family will have a viscounty + relations with a duchy, an earldom, and a barony. They just need a march to have the full set.

Enter Benedict who will fall in love with a servant AND an illegitimate daughter.

If he marries her, he risks undoing all the work his siblings have done to maintain the family in good standing.

The book doesn't address this, but I wish the show would. It would add another dimension to Benedict's reasons to not marry Sophie. He would be thinking of the family. What would happen to Eloise, Hyacinth, and Gregory? They will no longer be siblings to nobles, they will be related to an illegitimate child and servant. Who will want to marry them? Is it fair to affect their prospects when they haven't even had a chance at society? (Read The Secrets of Sir Richard Kenworthy) Perhaps it hurts the already-married siblings too.

I'm thinking about Ben and Violet's scene. Sophie refuses to be a mistress and Ben has already decided to marry her. But there's still this issue lingering. Is it right to drag the whole family to get what he wants? Wouldn't that be the most selfish thing anyone could do? In the book, Violet says this,

Imagine if she adds, "and your siblings will support you too."

EDIT: The thing about this scene is that Benedict was ready to leave if the family didn't support him and Sophie.

This is also a great way to bring back the Sharmas' background. Mary was cast out for marrying a clerk, leaving Edwina in an unfavorable position. If the Queen hadn't named her the diamond, it would have been very difficult for her to get a good match. Not to mention that Mary's parents considered hated Kate and insulted her parents for being common people.

You can see why Benedict is afraid of the family's reaction. The Sheffields said that after Mary left, they couldn't show their faces in London for years. He wouldn't want to do that to his family. Sophie wouldn't want that either.

This is why it is so great to have Benophie come in s4. Not that a duchy and a viscount wouldn't have been enough, but this way is much more dramatic and LEGENDARY.

Despite the risks, the family will support Benedict AND Sophie. They'll support her too cause they know her and they love her even before they knew about Ben's feelings.

It's a test, not only for Benedict but for the family.

MORE EDITS:

I also think that Queen Charlotte will hate the Bridgertons after s3. She has been trying to arrange their marriages for 3 seasons, and they have all ignored her and made their matches independently. So, maybe Benedict will be worried because his marriage to Sophie will only worsen the situation.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Shot Through The Heart

Alexia Putellas x Archer!Reader

Social Media

-- -- --

liked by alexiaputellas and 74,520 others

yourinstagram in my Kate Bishop era prepping for the World Archery Championships in my hometown Barcelona

user2 the Kate Bishop era is everything

user3 the fit, the gear, the posture 😍

user1 Alexia liking? we love athletes supporting athletes

liked by ona.battle, yourinstagram, aitana.bonmati and 500,356 others

alexiaputellas good food ✔️ good drinks ✔️ good company ✔️

user3 who is she out with?

user1 that food looks great

user2 so, Ona or Aitana she's gone out with, maybe?

liked by user1, user2 and 356 others

alexiaupdates Alexia spotted heading towards the range where the archery world championships is being held

user1 Alexia being an archery fan is so niche

user4 she just looks so good all the time

liked by alexiaputellas and 46,506 others

yourinstagram place in the final has been secured

user4 world champion pending

user1 number one ranking is so close

alexiaputellas so proud of you

-> user2 confirmation of who Alexia attended to see!!!

-> user3 besties supporting besties

liked by yourinstagram, marialeonn16, lucybronze and 300,242 others

alexiaputellas missed this girl so much. seems like almost yesterday we were running around in your backyard

yourinstagram perfect end to a perfect day ❤️

user2 they know each other this well???

-> user2 I thought they had only recently left

-> user4 I think y/n said in an interview once that they had joining gardens so played a lot together when they were little

-> user2 and to think, we could have had archer Alexia or footballer y/n

liked by alexiaputellas and 200,134 others

yourinstagram getting overwhelmed with my nieces while @alexiaputellas takes pictures. I love coming home

alexiaputellas it was too pretty a picture not to take

-> user4 Alexia be honest, we all know why you took this picture

user2 the abs are abbing

user1 why is one of them holding corn???

-> yourinstagram it's a healthy snack

-> yourinstagram although, all she ended up doing with it was hitting me in the stomach repeatedly 🤷‍♀️

liked by aitana.bonmati, yourinstagram, marialeonn16 and 500,356 others

alexiaputellas matchday

user2 ready for another Barca win

user4 Barca going for gold

liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16 and 200,145 others

yourinstagram best thing about being home? being able to watch my favourite team in person

user3 y/n's a Barca fan???

-> user4 are you for real? of course she is. She's from Barcelona

-> user4 and she's literally besties with Putellas

marialeonn16 can't wait to see you again!

-> user2 when is the Barca fem x y/n collab gonna happen???

-> user2 I need her trying to teach them to shoot!

liked by user2, user4 and 46 others

y/nupdates y/n's story from today as she prepares for her finals match which decides both world champion and the world rankings for next year

user2 the concentration is giving Katniss

user4 she looks so cool

user3 do y'all see that @alexiaputellas liked and then unliked this post???

-> user3 stalking fan accounts for her bestie is such strange behaviour

liked by user3, user4 and 563 others

alexiaupdates Alexia spotted heading to the final of the women's archery world championships. she was stopped and spoke to three French fans and told them that she was there to support her love

user3 I'm calling it guys: y/n x Alexia

-> user3 the perfect childhood friends to lovers story

user4 don't freak out guys

-> user4 it's probably just the language barrier getting in the way

-> user4 I mean, the Spanish are just strangely affectionate

-> user4 it could just be her platonic love

liked by alexiaputellas, worldarchery and 500,357 others

yourinstagram one of the greatest days of my life! World champion and world number 1. I can't thank everyone who has supported me enough

alexiaputellas so proud of you, amor. there was never a doubt about it

worldarchery world number one to Olympic champion pipeline?

-> user3 omfg y/n needs to win gold at the Olympics

-> user3 today's performance practically cemented her place in the team

liked by marialeonn16, yourinstagram and 764,357 others

alexiaputellas I remember when we first met, amor. I kicked my football over my fence into your garden and you shot it with your training bow ❤️. I didn't know then that you would become my closest friend and my greatest champion.

I am so glad to have you in my life and I'm so glad that you've finally decided to stay home to train so we no longer have to do long distance.

If you told little Alexia that she would be playing for Barcelona while being married to the world's greatest archer, she wouldn't have believed you but I'm so glad that you popped my football with your arrow because it was truly to start of something special.

Amor, I am so proud of you for finally completing your dream of being world champion and world number one in archery ❤️.

Here is to many more years at the top 🥂 🥂 🥂

yourinstagram my wonderful wife ❤️❤️❤️

user1 not Alexia doing the relationship reveal and the marriage reveal in one post

user4 the queens of the private relationship. how did we not know before???

liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16 and 400,367 others

yourinstagram my beautiful wife and my biggest fan ❤️. I'm so happy I get to share my triumph and the rest of my life with you.

I'm forever glad you kicked your silly ball over my fence and cried for an hour after you realised I shot it. I'm forever glad that you stuck around to see me do trick shots and shoot my Papa in the foot when I was nine.

And I'm forever glad you let me marry you.

Thank you so much for all your support and love ❤️

alexiaputellas 🥰🥰🥰

user3 not the relationship we thought we wanted but definitely the one we needed

user2 gonna need to know their whole love story like asap

[newtonsheffield]

What happens when the press find out about little neddy and kate?? Does she freak out?

I think this probably only really becomes public knowledge because Anthony obviously isn’t listed as Edmund Sharma’s father on his birth certificate and Anthony’s hoping to rectify that. He’s obviously a little nervous to ask Kate for this because they’ve also just started dating and he doesn’t want to push too hard.

“Hey Kate?”

Kate stood with her hands in the sink, her back to him. “Whatever you’re about to convince me to do in the bedroom; the answer’s yes.”

Anthony’s stomach dropped and he chuckled as he stood next to her, nudging her shoulder. He grabbed a tea towel and started drying the dishes in the rack. “No convincing ahead I don’t think.”

“Shoot then.” She kissed him on cheek quickly and Anthony took a deep breath as he nudged her forehead with his.

“I don’t really know how to gently broach this topic so I’m just going to go ahead and say it. I’m not on Neddy’s birth certificate.”

He saw Kate’s shoulders freeze for just a second before she nudged him, “Well, I couldn’t really write his middle name is Edmund. Could I?”

“I concede the point.” Anthony sighed, “But you… know my name now and… I’m Neddy’s Dad.”

“I know, I remember the conception.”

“Kate, I’m being serious.”

Kate sighed, placing the last dish on the rack and drying her hands. “I’m not trying to make light of it I just… I respect you as Neddy’s Dad, you know I think you’re a great Dad. I’d never deny that.”

“If he gets sick and you’re not there they wouldn’t even let me see him at the hospital.”

“I’m saying yes, Anthony.” Kate kissed him gently, “Of course, I’m saying yes. I don’t really know how to do it, but I’ll figure it out.”

Anthony let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you. I actually, looked into it and we need to reregister the birth and then I might need to look into whether or not I need to have him recognised as my heir more formally or not.”

“Your heir.” Her brow furrowed as though she hadn’t considered it.

Anthony blinked, “Well, yeah. I’m a viscount,” Anthony swallowed, “Neddy will be as well, one day. It’s his birthright to inherit my title and it’s what he deserves.”

“Yeah I obviously know that logically it’s just… hard to think of him that way. He’s so tiny.”

“He doesn’t have to deal with any of it yet.” Anthony shrugged, wrapping his arms around Kate. “I was tiny once too.”

She chuckled, “I’ve seen the pictures.”

So they go through the process. Edmund officially becomes Edmund Sharma Bridgerton, Future Viscount. AnD eventually the news that Anthony, viscount Bridgerton is trying to have his child legitimised by the crown. They find out that he was recently added to the birth certificate of a three year old boy whose mother is a solicitor. The media speculation becomes so rabid for a while that Anthony ends up releasing a statement.

There has been much speculation of late in certain publications that I am seeking to have a child legitimised by the crown so that he may inherit my family title. This is in fact, true. I, like many people in our modern society fathered a child whilst not married. I am immensely proud of, and to be a father to my son, Edmund. Both myself and his mother, my partner Kate, do not feel that whether or not we were married at the time or will be married in the future should have any bearing on a right to inherit a title that is our son’s by right of birth. The crown has seen fit to agree with us on this matter and Edmund has been formally recognised as the future viscount Bridgerton a fact which has brought my own family much joy. Rumours that I do not have contact with Edmund’s mother are patently untrue. Kate and I are partners and I have the greatest love and respect for her as a woman who gave me the greatest gift I ever could have asked for. I would ask you to exercise your sense and decency with regard to the fact that the life of a three year old boy should not be made public or subjected to scrutiny no matter how free you may be to scruitinise my own. I am proud of the family I have built and I know you will join us in celebrating this occasion- Anthony, Viscount Bridgerton

[mxzyuu]

I may fear many things, but that thing? Terrifying.

Out of nowhere, a headcanon about what could be Kate's greatest fear came to me. This ended up being a mini scenario.

Victor invited everyone to a garden picnic again. For some, they were bribed into it.

Kate stands still a few meters away from the gazebo.

Someone asks what's wrong.

She says nothing but she's points on the steps of the gazebo.

It was a praying mantis. Oh God.

Kate: They can eat anything...

Now she's just visibly shaking. They say it's just an insect, it couldn't hurt her. But that thing is simply terrifying. The way it just stares brings a shiver up her spine. Maybe it's already thinking on how to make a meal out of you...

Kate: I've seen them eat a dead bird.

Kate: They even eat each other...

Kate: I can't do this... I'll just go back inside..

But before she fully turned around, two mischievous pranksters decided it was a great idea to capture her and taunt her with the insect. Roger held Kate from behind locking down her arms. Alfons grabbed that creepy spawn from hell and starts to shove it in her face. Just why are these two so in tune at times like these?!

Before it came close though, Kate is fighting back with all her might, swinging her legs and all trying to keep Al and the mantis from getting near.

Kate: Get it away from me! AHH

She hits him once or twice. But then she starts trembling and panting, cold sweat running down her temple. Her heart is beating erratically. This is getting serious...

Somebody from the gang says worriedly, Hey, I think that's enough...

Finally, the two stopped but only because they froze and saw the pale and terrified expression of the girl. The mantis is let loose somewhere far. It took a while to calm her down.

Kate: ...I hate you both

Now, in the gazebo, she's just sulking with her legs tucked against her chest, like a child.

Roger: Haha, sorry lil lady. We didn't mean to take it that far.

Kate: I was fearing for my life!

Crying internally, she couldn't bring herself to eat and starts feeling bad since Victor prepared all this for everyone. The fear still lingers in her body and now she's just paralyzed in her current position. Seeing this, Elbert, who is beside her, picked up a piece of food and brought it in front of her mouth.

Elbert: Here... Try to eat something...

Elbert: You love to eat, don't you?

Ah! Such a kind soul! Kate cries a small, tearful thank you, and happily opened her mouth to accept. El feels like he's feeding a small animal. Her heart is now soothed and the remaining fear slowly dissipated.

From that day onward, the guys get rid of every mantis they encounter so that Kate won't see them.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

it genuinely baffles me how both Charles and Diana always ran to William whenever they wanted reassurance, comfort and help all while they both pampered the shit out of Harry. AND INSPITE OF THIS WILLAIM IS THE SANE ONE! THE MATURE AND KIND ONE! WTF??? I'm convinced William is magic.

The fact that William showed so much grace and affection to two people who are (as I'm seeing and learning more of) frankly shite parents, its baffling that Charles refuses to show the same unwavering support to William. I'm very sure Diana (if she were around) wld be the same, making stupid excuses for Harry and probably will be those reddit parents who harp on and on about how "he's family!". I swear if they weren't royals William would've cut Charles and Diana off as soon as he turned 18.

Harry and William seem to (more and more) fit the dynamic of "golden child" and "scrapegoat" child. Poor William! Thank god he has Catherine. She's honestly his greatest blessing.

William also had a much bigger support network at the time. Yes, Diana and Charles were both treating him like the third person in their marriage but William was also being looked after by his grandparents and his great-grandmother. I suspect the way they treated him counterbalanced the chaos in the Waleses' household.

There were also the Straubenzees and the Cutsems too, who seemed to encourage more "kids will be kids"-type play (from the few stories that have trickled out) and I think the time William spent with those families also really helped level him out to become the person he is today. Sometimes I think that because William experienced this "normal" family household with the Straubenzees and the Cutsems, and it did a lot of good settling him, I think that's why he's so eager to let his kids have the more "kids will be kids" kind of childhood. So it's not just Kate with a desire to give her kids the same kind of idyllic childhood/close-knit family dynamics she had growing up, it's also William remembering some of the more stabler, calmer parts of his childhood and wanting that for his kids too.

And a quick clarification - this isn't a golden child/scapegoat dynamic. In a golden child/scapegoat family, the golden child gets spoiled, given all the opportunity, and can do no wrong where the scapegoat child gets blamed for everything, gets nothing, can't do anything right.

That's not what was happening here. What was happening here is emotional parentification; the parents using William for their emotional support (which probably is ultimately caused Harry to parentify William in their childhoods too) while being indulgent parents to Harry. And Harry, unfortunately, did not get the same kind of...intervention, if you will from The Queen Mother, The Queen, and Prince Philip so he didn't really have a counterbalance in the family the way William did. He got the Yorkies, who had their own kind of chaos. (But what's interesting about the Yorkies is that yes, even though Sarah and Andrew had their own kind of chaos, they were also probably a much more stable relationship than Charles and Diana ever were - considering how close they remain today and the fact that neither one seemed to have other relationships/partners - and that had a particular kind of influence on Harry.)

[ellisgirl]

Ellis Twilight — 1st Wicked Birthday (His POV)

wonder what those hands can do pt2

I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistakes and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only

I still remember how we celebrated "our" birthday.

One year, I was waiting for a real birthday cake that my mother baked at home,

While the sky was dyed in twilight, we raced through that hill,

I pretended to blow out the setting sun together with "on three", likening it to a cake.

(I wonder if that moment was the best.)

(—No.)

(I'm sure that day that became eternity was the greatest happiness.)

(—eh?)

I suddenly come back to myself. Maybe because I was working late yesterday, I think I was dozing off on the sofa.

(It's been a long time since I dreamed of those days.)

(…Ah, I see. Today is our—)

Jude: “Ellis”

Ellis: “Jude... and Miss Kate?”

Kate: “Eh, Ellis…!?”

Jude: “This woman has something to do with you.”

Kate: “Mr. Jude, I told you to keep it a secret from Ellis…!”

Jude: “How can I understand his feelings? If you have any questions, it would be nice if you could ask them yourself.”

Jude put Kate behind and quickly left the common room.

(I wonder if Jude tricked her into asking something in secret.)

Ellis: “Do you have something to do with me?”

Tilting her head, Kate lowered her eyebrows in resignation.

She's like a little puppy, kind of cute.

Kate: “I heard that today… is Ellis's birthday.”

Kate: “I secretly asked Jude what you liked, and I thought I'd prepare it as a surprise.”

Ellis: “Why didn't you ask me?”

Kate: “...I felt like you are going to say that you’re happy about anything.”

Kate: “Because Ellis always thinks about my happiness and cares about me.”

Kate: “Today, I hope you can only do things that truly make you happy.”

Ellis: “Miss Kate, you are kind.”

You don't need a long time or a great reason to love someone as a person.

And wanting to make the person I love happy is the same as breathing for me.

Ellis: “If I only do happy things today, will you be happy too?”

Kate: “Hmm… if that happens, I will.”

Ellis: “Then, today, one day, would you like to find my happiness together?”

Kate: “Heh…?”

Ellis: “I want to find happiness for you and me.”

Kate: “...Is it okay? You spent your birthday with me.”

Ellis: “Yeah, that's fine... What about you?”

I tilted my head to see if this proposal was really for her.

(Ah... that's good. Looks like it's good.)

I sensed a happy atmosphere from Kate's slightly dyed cheeks, and when I was relieved,

Roger: “Why have you been flirting since daytime?”

Kate: “No, we haven’t…!?”

Before I knew it, Roger, who was standing leaning against the doorway of the common room, raised one corner of his mouth when our eyes met.

Roger: “Happy Birthday.”

Ellis: “Thank you, Mr. Roger. Did you come all the way to say that?”

Roger: “No? I was happened to pass by, and saw you guys.”

Roger: “I don't have any lovely presents, but I'll buy you a delicious drink next time.”

Roger: “You got a birthday present from Jude, didn't you?”

Ellis: “As usual, I got a blank cheque.”

Kate: “He always gives you that...?”

Roger: “It's the same. So, now it's time for your birthday date.”

Ellis: “Yeah, with Miss Kate.”

Roger: “Victor is so excited to show his skills and prepares a feast with the chef tonight.”

Roger: “Well, if the two of you don't come back together, I'll eat for you, so take it easy.”

Mr. Roger left a nasty smile and waved his hand lightly.

Kate: “Shucks, I'll be right back…!”

Ellis: “Is that so?”

Kate: “Eh!?”

(...Fufu, cute)

Kate: “Please don't tease me anymore.”

Ellis: “I'm not kidding you.”

Kate: “Uh... Let's go home properly.”

Kate probably likes me as a person too.

(If having “that kind of” relationship is happy for Kate.)

(I really wish I didn't have to go home.)

Kate: “Before you leave, please promise me one thing.”

Ellis: “Promise?”

Kate: “If you don't like what you don't like, I want you to say it.”

Kate: “You seem to say you’re happy all the time, you try to please me even when you’re not happy.”

Kate: “If you break the promise, it's absolutely no good.”

I could feel that she was trying her best to celebrate my birthday, and I naturally burst into a smile.

Ellis: “Yeah. Okay, I promise.”

—

Kate: “This gelato shop was my emotional support when I was delivering mail.”

Ellis: “Then it must be delicious. What is your favorite, Miss Kate?”

Kate: “Lemon! But you like raspberry jam, don't you? …So”

Kate: “You might like this mixed berry.”

We talked about trivial things while walking around the familiar streets of London.

Ellis: “...Nn, it's delicious.”

Kate: “…Happy?”

Ellis: “Happy. Fufu, it's the opposite of usual.”

Every time I say "I’m happy", Kate stares at me with a face like confirming the truth, it's a little funny.

Kate: “Is there anything you want? For a birthday present.”

Ellis: “…I want a bite of yours. Lemon flavor.”

Kate: “That's not what it is...”

Ellis: “Well... I don't really want anything, but I like things that smell good.”

Kate: “Sweet smell?”

Ellis: “Yes, yes. Like you.”

Kate: “...I already told you, do not tease me. Here, lemon flavor.”

While saying that, I took the gelato that was offered to me and licked it.

It was cute that Kate, who pretended to be angry even though she wasn't angry, couldn't hide her happiness.

After all, we wandered around London, and when the hands of Big Ben were a little past 16:00.

Kate ran away, asking me to wait a moment.

(I wonder if there was her acquaintance.)

(…Ah, at times like this, should I “monitor” properly as a Crown?)

(Well, okay)

When I sat on the railing along the river and waited for a while, a woman sat down next to me.

Curly-haired woman: “Ah, I'm sorry, did I bother you?”

Ellis: “No, no, it's not a hindrance.”

Curly-haired woman: “For some reason, I've been feeling dizzy for a while... Can I rest next to you?”

Ellis: “The hospital is right there, should I show you around?”

Curly-haired woman: “Are you okay with that?”

At the casual suggestion, the woman's expression suddenly brightened―she placed her palm on my leg.

(Ah…)

—— Flash Back Begins ——

“If you want me to be that happy, give me this.”

“You want me to be happy again... Give me. Give me your legs!!”

“...In the end, your greed is the most important thing."

“I can't go anywhere anymore. Are you satisfied?”

—— Flash Back Ends ——

Unpleasant memories come back, and discomfort crawls from the depths of my stomach.

I tried to swallow it down, then—

Kate: “Sorry I made you wait! …Oh? Who is this person?”

(Miss Kate...)

With something hidden behind her back, Kate stared at me with a worried look on her face.

Ellis: “…I heard she’s feeling dizzy.”

Kate: “Eh, are you okay?”

Curly-haired woman: “…What the hell, are you with her?”

Kate: “Eh?”

Curly-haired woman: “My dizziness is gone. See you soon.”

The woman sprang to her feet and walked away calmly.

Kate: “…Was it a lie…?”

Ellis: “It seems so. I'm glad she’s not dizzy.”

Kate: “If you take a closer look, Ellis is also somewhat pale.”

Kate's palm gently touched my forehead.

Kate: “It doesn't seem like you have a fever, but...”

("If you don't like, say it," …it was a promise.)

Ellis: “My leg was touched a while ago... I just remembered something a little unpleasant.”

Ellis: “I'm not good at it, just having my legs touched.”

Kate: “…Is that so.”

Without asking why, Kate just nodded in agreement.

Kate: “Thank you for letting me know.”

Ellis: “…? Why, thank you?”

Kate: “…You always care about people's happiness and doing this and that for them.”

Kate: “Because there is no one without greed… I’m sure Ellis will..…”

Kate: “Aren’t you holding back a lot of the things you want to do?”

(What I want to do...?)

The memory that just revived began to scratch the inside of my chest again.

Kate: “That's why I didn't want you to put up with anything you didn't like today.”

Kate: “Because you told me and keep our promise. So thank you.”

Kate: “And happy birthday.”

Ellis: “This…”

What she hid behind her back was a bouquet of pale purple roses.

A calm and sweet scent that is perfect for the evening wafts into the air, riding the gentle breeze.

Ellis: “Sweet smell.”

Kate: “Fufu, are you happy?”

Ellis: “…Hmm, I’m so happy.”

(But that's why… I have to give this to you.)

Ellis: “Can you close your eyes for a moment?”

Kate: “Eh? What…”

Kate was confused, but covered her eyes with both hands.

Kate: “Are you ready?”

Ellis: “Yeah, I am.”

(Even though you say there is no one without greed.)

(I feel like I don't need desire.)

If I don't do that, I feel that the "love" in me will turn into something terrible.

Ellis: “…Okay, open your eyes.”

Kate: “…!”

When I handed over the wreath made from the roses that I had received earlier, Kate looked at me alternately with the wreath, looking bewildered.

Kate: “This is a present for Ellis, nevertheless.”

Ellis: “Yeah. That's why I wanted to use it to make you happy.”

With a troubled smile on her face, Kate held the flower crown to her chest with care.

Kate: “…Ellis …is a bit of a troubled person, isn’t he?”

(Ah…)

Suddenly, my heart is shaken.

The afterglow of the setting sun coloured Kate.

Vivid and beautiful gradation from orange to purple.

The colour that can be seen only for a short time between day and night.

(I want to stop time now.)

It was a pure desire that was only for me.

Kate: “It's already evening... A day goes by in the blink of an eye.”

Kate's voice brings me back to my senses.

Kate: “It's time to go back to the castle.”

Kate's eyes seem to say, "I still want to be with you."

(But—Am I the one who thinks so?)

(I have to make sure it's not an illusion.)

I took a deep breath and closed the distance between me and her.

Ellis: “Hey, Miss Kate.”

I put my hand on the parapet and locked Kate inside.

Ellis: “I really don't want to go home. ...Can’t I?”

Kate: “Huh…?”

The usual way of pretending to be selfish and ascertaining the true intentions.

It has to be pretend, so I have to carefully lock the desires you have.

Kate: “It's..... It's no good. Everyone is waiting at the castle.”

Ellis: “…But, Miss Kate doesn’t seem to want to go home. You're making a face that says otherwise.”

Kate's thin ears are dyed slightly.

Ellis: “Thanks to you, I was happy today.”

Ellis: “How are you, Miss Kate? How happy are you now?”

Ellis: “I want to make you the happiest as a thank you for today.”

Kate: “...Ellis.”

Ellis: “What do you want? It's good to go shopping without worrying about money, and if there's someone you want to meet, I'll take you there.”

Kate: “I don't need anything... because today is Ellis's birthday.”

Ellis: “Whatever I can do, I'll do it. Kisses and hugs... Even more than that.”

Kate: “That kind of thing is special ...with the person you love. That's why you’re going to be the happiest... I think...”

(Ah... I see)

Ellis: “Then, it's fine if you get to like me in particular.”

Kate: “Heh…?”

Ellis: “I'll do my best.”

Kate's eyes are swaying.

Ellis: “Someday, I will make you the happiest.”

(Not for me, for you.)

(I'll grant you everything. I'll make you happy.)

At twilight, in an instant—

The area was already beginning to sink into the colours of the night.

…Fin…

Masterlist

Letter

[buckybarnesss]

I think one of the best things later seasons did was force Scott to become more mature than the kid he was in s1 and s2. For example, Liam.

Yes, he's an OBVIOUS parallel to being bitten without consent, and his fear of turning into a monster is even bigger than Scott's sometimes, but Scott now an alphaz KNOWS how to deal with it, and how to support him.

Mellowing Derek down and making him more of a team player concerned about the kids FIRST was also a good move.

this ask is so topical. forgive my star wars comparisons but i've been watching ahsoka.

i often consider the derek --> scott --> liam storyline to be comparable to that of a master and padawan relationship in a lot of ways. all their knowledge becomes your knowledge. the teacher's failures are the student's lessons.

i'm not the biggest fan of the last jedi but there are some really great moments especially the scene between luke and yoda.

"the greatest teacher failure is" and "we are what they grow beyond" applies heavily to the story of derek hale, scott mccall and liam dunbar.

the show even places a lampshade on this kind of connection early on when stiles makes the yoda joke in heart monitor.

all throughout season 1 derek is desperately trying to protect scott to varying levels of success. derek doesn't want scott to become him but derek is also clouded by anger and self-hatred at his younger self for his perceived failures and sins. scott despite his huge, glaring issues with male authority figures does learn from derek but it takes him a while to recognize that. derek is a convenient target for scott's anger at what happened to him.

their fear, their anger, their resentments are what they have to grow beyond with each other and that doesn't happen till around season 3.

season 3 even shines a spotlight on how young derek was a lot like scott.

visionary is one of the most important episodes of the entire series and does a lot of heavy lifting for the lore of the universe, the narrative of the season, the backstory of the hales, the relationships between characters -- like it's a juicy episode if only the fandom stopped taking peter and gerard's words as unadulterated truth.

it also gives us the most obvious parallel between derek and scott. i think it's pretty obvious they wrote the paige storyline knowing allison's fate. they wanted this parallel on purpose.

paige is bit without her consent and derek has to mercy kill her to spare her the slow and painful death the rejection of the bite is putting her through. derek did not do anything bad here. this was an act of compassion but it deeply traumatized and hurt derek.

while i do not believe derek's eyes changed color due to any sort of killing an innocent nonsense as peter suggests symbolically derek's innocence died with paige. it left a physical mark on him. she is there every time he shows his eyes. he carries her with him.

allison in contrast to paige has agency in her choice. she willingly goes to save lydia and even ignores lydia's warning. she chooses to save isaac which leaves her open to being stabbed.

allison does not suffer a slow, painful death like paige. scott holds her in comfort and hears her last words.

allison's body wasn't removed and abandoned to be chalked up to an animal attack. scott gets held by his mother, isaac is taken in by chris whereas derek was left alone in the cellar and left to flounder in grief ripe for the picking by kate argent.

so much of derek and scott's relationship is about reflection. they see each other like one only sees their flaws in a mirror. it's why their goodbye in smoke and mirrors is so important. it's acceptance, it's thank you, it's i'm sorry and it's goodbye and good luck.

scott and stiles are a better version of derek and peter. they are less toxic but they have their issues. scott and stiles have a hard time with communication but there's co-dependency.

this brings us to liam dunbar. liam is a precious nugget but liam has derek's anger issues and scott's fear of becoming a monster.

if stiles and scott are a better version of derek and peter than liam and mason are a better version of all them.

it is liam who is able to overcome derek and scott's failures.

liam is able to reconcile with theo.

liam makes the effort to make peace with corey.

liam doesn't lose his first love.

liam overcomes derek and scott's failures and learns lessons from their mistakes.

with liam there's a lot of reprised beats that show how far these characters have come. teen wolf subscribes to george lucas's maxmum:

scott bites liam without his consent but scott doesn't leave him like peter did him. scott tries to support him through the transformation even going as far as to try the whole "the bite is a gift" and "we're brothers now" on for size.

argent comes not to harm them but he saves them.

liam is the best of scott and derek.

derek even gets to gloat a little and have his obi-wan watching anakin deal with ahsoka moment

he is delighted.

we rightfully rip into teen wolf for it's failures but one thing about the show that i think it did fairly well was demonstrate how the entire narrative revolves around generational trauma.

the derek, scott and liam relationship is an excellent example of it.

people say that scott doesn't grow as a character which is a lie. you don't have to like the trajectory of his character arc but he does have one. the show is about him growing up. it's about these kids dealing with the grief and trauma of their lives including that of growing up.

derek was stuck in his grief and anger for a long time. he had lost so much. derek's storyline i think isn't so much a growing up arc but rather one of choosing to live not just survive. scott forced him to confront the anger he carried at his younger self. to realize he was just a child and no one protected him.

derek had a choice.

derek is also a product of peter's lessons and teachings. i think he grapples with some of this in s2 where we see derek in his quote villainy era unquote.

instead derek chose to be a protector and he evolves. he is not peter. he is not kate. derek is not a monster others wanted him to become.

instead he inherits the gift of his mother and sister becoming more at peace with himself.

he is the person that paige loved and accepted. he is deserving of stiles's loyalty and affection.

but he can scare some kids on halloween as a treat.

[sunnyrealist]

Chapter 37: The First Fight

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Chapter Background and Summary: Sebastian and Kate are on an adventurous camping trip in the Scottish Highlands. On the third day, the lovers explore a hidden cave. Attempting to feed off of their emotions, a horde of Dementors create an illusion depicting the couple's greatest fantasies and worst fears. When Sebastian passes out, Kate protects them both, getting them both to safety. When he wakes, they have a lot to unpack. Sebastian finally tells Kate more about his unimaginably horrific experiences in Azkaban and reveals his ever-present self-doubt. Kate's subsequent words of unwavering support, positivity, and adoration lift him from the depths of his sorrow, and it all results in intense lovemaking. Filled with happiness, Sebastian stupidly proposes without thinking; Kate tells him she wants to marry him but won't accept until he plans and does it right.

Pairing: 25-year-old, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x Kate Mayflower (my OC)

Content warnings: In general, this story is rated 18+, so MNDI. This chapter features the couple's first argument, the hypothetical idea of parental disapproval, feelings of extremely low self-esteem, discussion of privilege and status, misunderstandings, and sharp, biting words.

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). Please leave some feedback if possible. 🥰

Chapter 37: The First Fight

Kate and Sebastian finally stop chuckling about their newfound hatred for caves.

“I am rather excited to see the castle, though,” Kate tells him with a grin. "There's bound to be something interesting there if it's so inaccessible. Hopefully it will be safer, though. I think I've had enough danger for a lifetime." She laughs, but she's completely serious. "I've never been in a situation like that in all my life. I... Honestly, I never thought I would need to use anything I learned in Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. Thank goodness for Professor Hecat being a great teacher. You know, she is such a fascinating person."

 Sebastian has a brief flash of guilt upon hearing the word safer. He and Kate could have died in the cave if not for her quick thinking. He should have been the one to protect her - and he has mixed feelings about the fact that his girlfriend had to be his protector. It’s obvious that she is still worried and shaken. 

He tries to shake those thoughts and kisses her shoulder gently, smiling as she mentions their old teacher. "You must have been a good student in her class, then?"

"I think I earned an Acceptable grade, so, no, not really. I was definitely not one of her star students. I was never a great duelist; no one would have recruited me for Crossed Wands, that illicit dueling club. It was such a poorly kept secret. A couple of my friends joined it - Lottie and Otty. They’re married now, living in America," Kate adds. "Anyway, I know the class wasn't only about dueling. Just like everyone else, I had to practice against a Boggart and learn the Patronus spell and other things." She furrows her brow as she realizes something. "Sebastian... you never learned the Patronus spell, did you? We didn't study that until sixth year... you would have… been in prison."

Sebastian shakes his head slowly. His face is unreadable for a moment before he speaks.

"I did not have the opportunity to learn the Patronus spell," he says quietly. "You're right. I was in prison for sixth year." He sighs. "Not only did they take my freedom and years of my life... but they robbed me of my education as well. That was one of the worst parts."

Kate rubs his back. "Considering how much you love to study and learn, to never have finished your schooling… That is truly a cruel punishment. I mean... of course you're a competent wizard," she notes quickly, hoping not to offend him. "You're more competent than most, really..." She looks up into his eyes. "You would have been a top NEWT student, based on what you've told me about school. It's a shame."

Sebastian's face remains serious but even more sad. He takes a deep breath, exhaling to shake off his melancholy. "I wish I had had the opportunity to finish my schooling," he remarks somberly this time. "But it is what it is. My life is so different than I expected."

Kate's eyebrows raise as she considers his wish. She wonders if, as a Hogwarts staff member, she could advocate for him to finish coursework somehow. She doesn't mention it, as she doesn't want to get his hopes up. She's never even heard of that happening, so it’s incredibly unlikely.

"There is one thing I will say. You may have never graduated, but you are a learned man. Honestly, you're one of the smartest people I know." She offers him a smile. "And you've experienced things that others never will. It's given you a perspective most will never be able to understand."

"You are correct. It has given me a view of the world and humanity that is truly unique. It has changed me in many ways," he admits, meeting her gaze once again. "But I cannot deny that it has hurt my pride, as a wizard. If I am being completely honest, it is something that makes me ashamed and embarrassed... and sometimes angry."

"I understand." Kate nods, looking down.

It’s been a day of misfortune, revelations, and tough conversations. There is still something weighing heavily on her mind, one that has been for quite some time now. It’s not going to make for pleasant conversation, but it eventually must be said, so Kate decides that it might as well happen today.

 "I have to be completely honest with you, Bash." There's a pause. "You know how much I love you. But... my family..." She takes a breath. "My family has really high standards. I... I don't know what they are going to think about your past." She takes a breath. "No one will change my mind about you, but... it worries me. I think they are going to be a challenge." She is afraid to meet his eyes. It's going to hurt him, but she has to tell him at some point. Her family is going to ask questions soon - potentially as soon as they return home after their trip.

Sebastian takes a sharp inhale and holds his breath as he processes her words. She's concerned that her family won't accept him, he gathers.

Now, it is her turn to see a flash of anger from him. He clenches his jaw tightly, his entire face hard. "My past," he says, his voice low and cold. "My past should not matter to them. And you know better than anyone that my past doesn't define me. You know who I am now..."

Kate tenses up even more upon seeing his expression and hearing his tone. Her own voice comes out a little squeaky. "O-Of course I know that, Sebastian..." She looks as though she is physically in pain. "But… my parents are going to find out about your past, and... though it doesn't define you, it is part of who you are today. If I don't tell them myself, they'll figure it out on their own. My mum is resourceful. She can find anything out if she puts her mind to it. She knows a lot of people. She's... she's really the obstacle, if I'm honest, Bash. I'm..." she hesitates. "I'm scared. I'm scared of what she'll think."

"Your mother shouldn't even know about my past before I tell her," he barks. "I should be the one to tell your parents... Not you." He looks as though he is struggling to remain in control, his anger seeping out of him in waves. "Is there even a part of you that believes me worthy of your trust and affection?" he growls. “That your parents will find me worthy?”

"Stop it," Kate snaps back, irritated. "You need to cool down. I'm on your side, not working against you." Her brows knit together. "I mean, Sebastian, consider their point of view. Someday, if we become parents, would you be thrilled by the prospect of our daughter marrying an Azkaban escapee who never even graduated from school?" She realizes she's getting heated, too, and takes a moment before she starts again. "I'm more upset about this than you know! You deserve family. If my family is awful about you, I would feel terrible, Sebastian. Terrible for you."

"Yeah, well, whatever," Sebastian replies, bitterness in his voice. "I am an Azkaban escapee, an uneducated dark wizard who only works for the DMLE because I was forced to become a double-agent. And I’m practically a gang member. You're right! I'm not a catch! Why would any parents want their daughter to be with a man who has done the things I have done?" His breath is getting faster now, his hand clenched and shaking with rage and adrenaline. "They'll despise me, and there will be nothing I can do about that. I'm just a lowlife loser, aren't I?!"

"No!" Kate protests. "No, of course not! Bash, please..."

"Face it, Kate," he says coldly. "Your parents are going to look down on me because of my past. Hell, even you are looking down on me right now!" There is a pause as he gathers his thoughts amidst the anger boiling inside. "You know they see everything from their angle of pureblood privilege. And I am pureblood, as if that even fucking matters, but I certainly don't fit into your family's world of status and wealth. I won't fit in. I won't be considered good enough for you!"

Kate begins tearing up silently, unable to speak. Her throat hurts, a sure sign she is going to cry. When she eventually feels the inevitable hot tears sliding down her face, she wipes them and shakily says, "I-I t-think we should take a minute to- to ourselves. I'll... get dinner ready. Please don't follow me."

Sebastian's heart shatters as he watches tears roll down her cheeks, her lips trembling. He's seen Kate cry before, but never like this. She's usually so confident, so collected, but here, in this moment, she is anything but.

Anger still smolders inside of him, but he knows it isn't really directed at her. He knows he needs to calm down. He needs to be better, but he just can't resist another mean comment. "Fine. Go. Be alone! Go cry or whatever it is that you need to do," he spits out, his voice tinged with bitterness.

Kate is mute as she puts her pink dress back on, struggling to tie the bow as her hands shake. Sebastian just observes, simmering and not offering to help. She takes one last look at him, then disappears down into her extendable bag to take some time to calm herself down and think.

He watches her leave with his fists clenched in a white-knuckled grip, tears burning in his eyes. Almost immediately, Sebastian wants to follow her and apologize. He wants to hug her, hold her, wipe her tears... but he just can't. Deep down, his pride is wounded. Is it his fault that she is crying? She always has it together, she is always strong, and here he has reduced her to tears with just a few words. His thoughts are a mix of anger, guilt, and regret as he gets up from the bed and dresses. He opens the tent flap and steps outside to get some air.

The moment Kate reaches the bottom of the ladder, she mutters a silencing charm and allows herself to let loose, sobbing. The situation just isn't fair to anyone, and she knows it's going to be difficult to convince her family about Sebastian's worth. Her mum is so judgmental, and her papa and sister will be concerned more than anything.When some time has passed, she finally begins to prepare for dinner. She'll have to face Sebastian sooner or later, and perhaps after some time and some food, they can have a more civil conversation.

[keaalu]

Kestrel Kestrel, chapter two

Also on AO3 or FF.net for those who prefer other platforms.

Where we join her colleagues on the search for the missing Kate Kestrel.

Who has by now recovered from the "food poisoning" to find out that she's not quite as recognisable as she was an hour or two ago, anyway. How do you explain to people that you're now a bird when you can't actually speak? Because you're a bird?

"Terror-hawks" indeed!

-----------

Mein gott. Why can’t you do anything right, uncle! She was meant to have been on the Hawkwing when she changed! She was meant to have crashed it!

Well how was I meant to know she had a little private airplane? You’re supposedly the genius, you horrible little thing. You should have taken that into account.

And you’re ‘her greatest fan’! So great you didn’t even keep watch on her properly? Is it any wonder those idiotic earthlings always defeat our most cunning plans? Anyone would think you were on their side-

Are you two idiots bickering again? Yes, Itstar, I’m including you in that – no, don’t start; you’re both to blame for this. But never mind – we have our proof that it worked. Now we can figure out how this can be played to our advantage. It would be such a terrible shame if the humans ended up killing their own protectors…

***

“Anything yet, Hiro?”

Captain Mary Falconer sat at Battlehawk’s controls, piloting the great craft out to Kate’s last known position, with Lieutenant Hawkeye down in the cargo hold, making final preparations. On the comms terminal was a visual connection to the Terrahawks’ orbital platform; Spacehawk had easily found Kate’s ship, right where she had reported she was landing, but the canopy was open and the little vehicle looked empty. The stellar vessel’s crew were busy scouring the landscape, but being hundreds of miles above it limited their productivity. Zeroid optical resolution was good enough to read a book on the desert sand, but they couldn’t look under things.

“Nothing at the moment, I’m afraid. It is a large area to check.” For confirmation, Lieutenant Hiro glanced back at the ship’s command zeroid, who swivelled from side to side on his perch, shaking his head. “We were not in visual range to see her land or exit her ship, but we have predicted her maximum range on foot since then. We can’t see her anywhere within it, but will continue searching. It will be hot, down there; I can only guess that she may have gone looking for some shade.”

“You don’t think anyone might have abducted her?” Mary wondered. “You heard what Five-five told us. It all feels a little too convenient for her to just go missing, after all that. It might not have been food poisoning – she could have been drugged.”

Hiro frowned and considered it for a few seconds. “While I won’t argue the plausibility of the latter, I feel it is unlikely she was taken,” he demurred. “Her landing site was quite random, not to mention remote. There are no recent vehicle tracks to or from the area, and the interval between her contacting us and our arrival in range was comparatively short. Unless whoever took her was acting opportunistically, I do not think anyone could have got there before us, over land, without a strong chance of us seeing them.”

“Hmm.” Mary drummed her fingertips on the control column, uneasily. “All right. Thank you. Keep looking, and keep me updated.”

“Ten-ten, ma’am.”

“Guessing Hiro didn’t have anything positive to say.”

Mary glanced sidelong to watch as Hawkeye slid into the copilot’s chair. She shook her head. “No. But he doesn’t think she was abducted. I’m taking that as a good sign.”

“Could sure do with a few of them, right now,” the man agreed. “The zeroids are all briefed and ready to go, now. Since we picked him up, Five-five has shared all the data he has, so everyone’s up to date.” He covered his face with both hands. “Why in spacefire didn’t we tell her to stay with the dang ship, Mary.”

“I don’t think any of us could have reasonably expected this would happen. Kate wasn’t feeling well. Perhaps she was sicker than we thought? Who knows what was going through her head.”

“Exactly! She wasn’t thinking straight!” He threw his hands up. “We shoulda told her to stay put.”

Mary engaged the big vessel’s VTOL drive and guided Battlehawk down into a patch clear of vegetation, near where Kate had landed. A cloud of dust swirled up around them. “There’s a lot of things we maybe should have done. Would she have listened?” She let a hand rest on his shoulder. “Perhaps we should focus on finding her, and leave punishing ourselves until after we have some answers.”

“Right.” Hawkeye blew a sigh through pursed lips and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What were your plans?”

“Worst case scenario, I’ll need you to fly Kate’s ship back to Hawknest. I don’t think we’ll get it into Battlehawk’s hold. But that’s our worst case scenario, because we’re going to find her.” She squeezed his shoulder. “I’m going to take Terrahawk up to a better vantage point to monitor our overall progress. Are you coming? I could do with your eyes.”

“Not sure I’ll be able to see much more than Spacehawk, if we’re all still looking down on the place. We need boots on the ground to check under things. Besides.” He looked at her. “Five-five is eating himself up for not stopping her going, so I was gonna partner with him for a bit.”

“Thank you. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.” She opened the intercom to the hold. “All right, Sergeant Major. Your men know what they’re doing?”

“Ten-ten, ma’am!” The zeroid commander’s gruff tones came over the communications. “Don’t you worry – we’ll show that spaceified little twit in orbit how to do a proper search. We’ll stay out here until we found her!”

Mary smiled, tersely. Zeroid one-upmanship usually frustrated her, but if it meant they focused their energy on doing a good job? For once she felt disinclined to tell them differently. “Good hunting, Zero.”

***

When Kate finally came around, it was inside a sack.

Or at least, that was what it felt like. A brightly coloured sack that glowed with the sun’s heat, made of a heavy, stifling fabric, holding her down on the ground.

It felt rather like a hot air balloon had deflated on top of her. What a stroke of bad luck. First the food poisoning, then almost a crash landing, and now this?

At least it didn’t feel like anyone was with her, so if she was a captive, she stood a good chance of escaping. Still hot and dazed, she flailed her way out of the constricting tent of fabric and collapsed onto her face in the dirt. Dusty shingle filled her nostrils with fine sand, making her cough.

Coughing didn’t quite feel right…? Felt like it came from deeper inside, all the way up from her abdomen, and it sounded shrill. Squeaky. Not like a cough at all. And her arms were stiff, didn’t want to straighten properly when she tried to push herself to stand. Her clothing, too – like she was wearing an outfit made of thousands of pieces of paper.

She tottered unsteadily upright, feeling like her centre of gravity had shifted, and almost fell over all the way in the opposite direction. Her feet hurt. It felt like her toes were broken, but she still couldn’t quite get down off tiptoe. Things on the ground kept grabbing onto her, alternately tripping her or holding her in place when she tried to shake them off.

At least her head was clearing. The muzzy confusion that had grounded her was fading the longer she was awake and standing. Finally she felt lucid enough to work out who’d tried to capture her, and why they’d done such a poor job at it. (Although if the martians were involved, the latter wasn’t precisely a surprise.) She turned to look at the… sack, or whatever it was.

For several seconds, she couldn’t work out what she was staring at. An enormous sprawl of dusky red and silver fabric, the size of a tennis court.

But it-… it wasn’t a fallen hot air balloon. Or a tent. Or even just a huge bag.

Caught up in the barbs of an aggressive thorny little tree, it was… her own clothing? But on an absurd scale. She could see every individual thread in the dark pink fabric. How was that even possible?

Then she realised, taking in the gargantuan scenery – the enormous shingly gravel she stood on, the overgrown plants that towered over her – that it wasn’t her clothes that were huge. The problem was with her.

And she’d shrunk.

Which… felt… particularly bad.

With difficulty, she looked down at herself, and found a smooth, pale beige chest, streaked with regular little dark brown flecks – feathers. Beneath that, she could just see a pair of bright yellow feet, each long toe tipped with an absurdly large raptorial claw.

They clenched automatically into the dirt as adrenaline surged into her veins.

Panic welled in her chest. She automatically recoiled, as though she could somehow step away from the new body she’d found herself in.

New.

Body.

Oh, holy hell.

“Oh god, I better be dreaming,” she said – or tried to. All that came from her throat was the shaky screech of a small falcon.

Staggering away backwards, as if it would somehow help, she tripped and lost her balance, and landed on her tail, whereupon a bright, sharp new pain shot up her spine. She threw herself urgently away from it, in an ungainly tumbling whirl of feathers and dust, and went sprawling on her chest when her feet refused to behave – because it wasn’t things on the ground grabbing onto her, was it, keeping her from walking. It was her own newly-taloned little bird feet, involuntarily clutching closed every time she tried to lift them, thrusting those long claws into the loose soil and catching them on stems and roots.

Even breathing didn’t feel right. Too much air moving, like her lungs were the wrong shape, taking up too much space inside her. She shuddered. A shaky little inhuman noise like a shrill, shuddering scream threaded itself out of her beak.

Could birds hyperventilate? (It sure felt like she was hyperventilating.)

A waft of dizziness passed over her and she thought she might pass out again. Her wingtips – wingtips – were trembling, rustling against the dirt.

Calm, Kate. Oh lord please just calm down. This whole thing, it’s just something new that Zelda’s cooked up, she tried to reassure herself, and it’s only Zelda, you know it’s only Zelda, it can’t possibly be anyone or anything else, and this is not even the weirdest thing she’s ever done to us.

Probably, she corrected herself. Probably not the weirdest.

She wanted to laugh, hysteria bubbling in her throat – it’s only Zelda? ONLY Zelda? Really? You’re suddenly a bird and it’s ‘only Zelda’? – but laughter didn’t really feel appropriate. Or even possible, actually, with lungs that didn’t behave like she was familiar with.

Keep it together, Kate, she told herself, as firmly as she could. Keep it together. You’re-… okay, you’re a bird, but you’re alive and unhurt. Calm down and find something else to focus on. You’ll be fine. Everything else Zelda’s ever done has been fixed. So will this be. Calm down and just breathe.

Easier said than done, me. You’ve never been a bird before. She tried to focus on her breathing, anyway. In, and out. Ignore the weird parts. It's still just in, and out.

In, and out.

She closed her eyes, unwilling to look at the over-detailed dirt while she accustomed herself to everything else new.

In. And out. Good.

Remarkably, it did seem to be working? Her breathing was growing more even, and that light-headed sense of panic was passing.

Finally she decided to chance getting up; she shakily managed to regain her feet and didn’t immediately fall straight back down.

All right. Good. Let’s work out our next steps. Focus on something else that doesn’t involve being a bird.

Mary had said they were coming, right? A whole eternity ago, while Kate had only had a strange case of food poisoning?

That meant Kate had to get back to her ship. If she was with her friends, then she still had options. Exactly what options, she wasn’t sure. But options.

If they got to it before her and found her missing, who knew how long they’d stick around? That they’d exhaust all possible options and search everywhere for her before they finally left, she had absolutely no doubt. They weren’t just co-workers – they were family. But they’d never make the connection between the vanishing act of her human self, and the appearance of a strangely tame little falcon – it was just too fantastically absurd.

If she could stay with her ship – and be really annoyingly persistent about it, not let herself be shooed away – then there was maybe the slimmest chance they’d think she was someone’s pet, and take her with them, and that might be long enough to work out how to clue them into what had happened. The alternative was that they unwittingly left her on her own in the desert. Fending for herself would probably mean eating mice, assuming she could catch them. And that… really didn’t sound like something she wanted to deal with, right now. She shuddered, feeling her feathers fluffing out in distaste, like a really bad case of goosepimples.

But where in spacefire even was her ship? She’d completely lost her bearings, and couldn’t even see it, now, not from all the way down here! At not even a foot tall, any more, the horizon had drawn ridiculously close, and even the smallest desert plants formed a defensive barrier she couldn’t see over.

Kate cast her gaze around herself, wondering if there was anything she could climb, and lit upon that horrible scrubby little bush that had tried so hard to steal her clothing. It had dense branches and looked like maybe it wasn’t totally impossible to get up it, even though right now it felt a little like contemplating climbing a giant sequoia. She walked over to it – shakily at first, walking on tiptoe on treacherous feet that kept grabbing at the dirt, but with growing confidence – and studied the ladder of tight twigs.

Her first attempt resulted in her falling straight back onto her tail after only one or two steps, automatically trying to grab onto the branches with fingers that no longer existed. (She got a little frustrated inkling of what it must feel like to be a zeroid, with no hands to manipulate the world around them.) She did have a beak, though – would that work? She swallowed her distaste at the idea of biting onto the little tree, and tried again.

Annoyingly, the trick with her beak worked like a charm. Thorns combed aggressively through her feathers and nicked at her skin, but Kate kept going, pushing her way higher. At last she was back at a useful vantage point, close to where she imagined her normal eye level would have been.

And in a clear patch of ground in the distance, next to her own little ship, there was Battlehawk. Her heart sank. They were here already? She’d not even heard them land! How long had she been unconscious? As she watched, the command module lifted up and away from the main body of the huge vehicle, before soaring up into the sky. She could see zeroids, as well, setting out in a starburst away from the ship.

It was only a couple of hundred metres away, but it might as well have been kilometres. However was she going to cover all that ground in time?

Come on, girl. You have wings of your own now. Let’s try making them work.

Kate took a deep breath, spread her wings and launched herself into the unknown.

Alarmingly, she went mostly down, but her wings weren’t completely terrible as parachutes and her feathers cushioned her fall, and being so small, apart from being shocked and startled the fall didn’t hurt her. (She’d never bounced after falling from a great height, before.)

Spacefire and damnation. How are you meant to work these things?!

She flapped hard, but stayed firmly on the ground. Perhaps she wasn’t using them properly-

You’ve only had them like twenty minutes, Katie, and it’s not like you just had the shock of your life or anything. Give yourself a bit of a break. Your legs still work – well, mostly. Try them, instead.

After a little experimentation, she found that a graceless hop-skip across the dirt with her wings spread for balance was the fastest way of covering the ground. And all right, okay, it actually felt like she was making a bit of progress. If it came to the absolute worst, could she fly all the way to Hawknest? Or would she have to work out how to live as a genuine kestrel for the rest of her days-

Oh no, you are NOT thinking about that. This is gonna be fixed. It is gonna be fixed. And you are not going to even contemplate having to eat mice, not even once, no sir.

***

While he understood it was probably all just down to some kind of… impenetrably efficient zeroid search algorithm (or possibly Sergeant Major Zero trying to be clever), Hawkeye had been increasingly feeling like he and 55 were just wandering a aimlessly, not using either of their skillsets particularly effectively.

He’d though it was probably his imagination that 55 felt the same – until Space Sergeant 101 had sent 55 some urgent co-ordinates, and without a word the zeroid had instantly gone bounding off like an excited hunting dog, forcing the human lieutenant into an ungainly gallop to catch up.

They only covered a short distance, but Hawkeye didn’t think he’d have caught up if the zeroid hadn’t already stopped. As he watched, 55 nosed at a patch of lilac on the ground, and Hawkeye realised with a clutch of deep dismay that it wasn’t some desert flower but one of Kate’s wigs.

55 looked up at him as he approached; the zeroid managed to look weirdly nauseated.

“Aw, man.” Hawkeye crouched and picked it up out of the scrubby set of twigs the wind had blown it into, then patted 55 gently. “It’s all right, buddy. We’ll find her.”

The zeroid bumped into his ankles, leaning heavily. “I hope so.” He was obviously sorely off-balance as he didn’t even attempt to rhyme.

A short distance away, tangled up in the shady twigs of a thornbush, Hawkeye quickly spotted the rest of Kate’s clothing. No wonder they’d struggled to find anything.

“Mary?” Hawkeye opened a channel to his senior officer. “We’ve found something. But you’re not gonna like it. Five-five, can you give Captain Falconer a live feed? Thanks…”

“Is that her clothing?” Mary asked, quietly, watching while Hawkeye unhooked the jacket from the thorns and examined it. “Is that all you found?”

“Yeah. I don’t get it. What the heck was she playing at, undressing?” He stood taller, alarmed, shading his eyes with one hand. “Is she out here naked? Oh, man. Have the zeroids reported back with anything yet?”

“Easy, Hawkeye. I think we’d have found something if that was the case.” Several heartbeats of thoughtful silence passed. “Could someone have forced her to change her clothing? So no-one would recognise her? Hiro said he didn’t think she’d been abducted but I’m not so sure, any more. Are there any footprints there?”

Hawkeye narrowed his focus and examined the ground with his computer-augmented eyesight. “Only hers, and only approaching. I don’t see anything else, even in enhanced.” He frowned. “You know what? I don’t even see her footprints leaving.” He looked around himself. “What the hell.” And the longer he looked at her clothing, the more he realised there was something weird about that, too. “It doesn’t look like she undressed, either. It looks like she just… disappeared from inside it? Her socks are still in her boots, her undershirt is still all caught up inside her jacket.”

“That implies the martians may be involved,” Mary suggested, grimly. “I know Zelda has always reclaimed her own, but I didn’t think she could abduct unrelated people too, by teleporting them away.” After a pause, while the implications sank in, she added; “that could make our fight a whole lot worse if it’s something new she’s learned to do. She could snatch any of us, at any time.”

The silence felt heavy – like a mallet primed to fall on them.

Hawkeye coughed, awkwardly. “Well why the heck didn’t she take her clothes?” He gathered up the discarded clothing, folding each item into a neat pile with the boots on top. “And what do we do now, wait for a ransom?”

“A ransom doesn’t seem quite like Zelda’s style, but I’m sure she’ll be in contact to gloat over her latest nefarious plan soon enough.” Mary sighed. “Get back to Battlehawk. We can regroup and rethink.”

“Ten-ten, Mary. See you soon.”

It would be nice to get out of the unrelenting sun, Hawkeye mused, trudging over the dirt with 55. They were almost all the way back to Kate’s little ship when he noticed that the zeroid was hanging back, and hesitated himself. “Is there a problem, little buddy?”

“I think we may have a guest, so a quiet approach might be for the best?”

“A guest? What does that mean?” Hawkeye’s vision was easily as good as the zeroid’s, but he couldn’t quite work out where 55 was looking. His instant of hope that there was a person there who could tell them something useful rapidly deflated when he couldn’t actually see anyone.

“It’s very small so I’m not sure yet? But I’m pretty convinced that it isn’t a threat.” The zeroid closed his shutters and rolled carefully, slowly forwards.

Hawkeye followed him, and after an instant worked out what 55 had spotted. A little speckly brown hawk, scarcely as tall as even a zeroid, perched on the rim of the vessel’s open canopy. “Huh. Will you look at that. I wonder what that’s doing there? Can’t be for the shade!”

Expecting it to fly away at any second, the two Terrahawks operatives approached warily, but it stayed where it was, placidly watching them.

55 parked, and sat staring at it for a very long time. “Huh! It’s a kestrel, sir – but it is kinda strange. This state isn’t part of this bird’s normal range?”

“A kestrel?” Hawkeye sighed. “Well if that ain’t ironic. Went out looking for a kestrel, and came back with the wrong sort.”

“Wronger than that – I just investigated. It’s a European kestrel. It must be domesticated?”

“Is that it, little birdy?” Hawkeye crouched and inched closer, as though trying not to spook it into flight. “You’re someone’s pet?” He held out his arm, forearm level. “Are you lost, huh?”

***

Are you lost? Oh, more than you know, Hawkeye.

Still hot and achey, and now exhausted by her efforts to get back to Battlehawk before her friends left her alone in the desert, Kate studied Hawkeye’s arm for a long time before deciding fuck it and climbing shakily aboard, wings trembling with the effort of balancing.

“Heyyy, there we go.” The man smiled in spite of himself, and automatically lifted his free hand to stroke her before remembering her sharp little hooked beak and thinking better of it. “You might be right, Five-five. This sure isn’t a completely wild bird, at least.”

55 gave her a quick visual appraisal. “If she’s a pet, her condition’s not great; her feathers are scruffy, and she looks underweight.”

Thanks, Five-five. She shot him a little glare; machine honesty did sometimes sting. He just looked back, oblivious.

“I always thought tame falcons wore those little leather straps on their legs, too,” Hawkeye mused, giving her his own cursory examination. “So they didn’t fly away.”

“They’re called jesses,” 55 supplied, helpfully.

“Right. But she doesn’t have them. This is just a little bird, all on her own.” Hawkeye gave into temptation and used one curled finger to gently stroke the feathers of her chest, right under her beak. “Maybe that’s how she escaped and got lost out here.”

Kate leaned into his touch, tiredly. She recognised that he wouldn’t be doing it if he knew it was her, but she felt disinclined to try and stop him. After everything else she’d just been through? That little bit of friendly human comfort was nice.

“What do you think we should do?” Hawkeye went on, quietly, while 55 watched, curious. “I guess I don’t wanna just leave her out here to starve. If she’s someone’s pet, who knows if they’ll come along and find her?”

“True, sir – but not to cause a fuss, they won’t find her either if we take her back with us.”

“What would you rather do, huh?” Hawkeye asked her, softly, although it sounded like it was more for his own benefit. “Come with us, or stay out here so your owner can find you?”

Stay with you guys, obviously. Kate nudged his finger with her beak. But how in spacefire do I tell you I’m me, while I can’t even talk?

“I guess maybe you’re hungry. If you rely on people for food, we’re probably as good a bet as any other, huh.”

He stooped to pick up her clothing, to put it into the little jet’s cockpit, and the sudden movement felt like he was about to send her tumbling to the ground. Involuntarily, she tightened her toes in his arm, flailing out her arms – no, her wings – to try and catch her balance.Hawkeye hissed softly in pain and tensed, making an obvious effort to fight the urge to shake her off, fingers flexing.

“Yeowch, lady! Careful where you stick those little pins!” he said, his jaw tight. “I hope this means you do want to stay with us, and you’re not just pissed off at me for some reason.”

Shoot. Kate made a conscious effort to unlatch her toes and relax her claws from where they’d punched into his skin. She hadn’t considered it was possible to hurt anyone, not this small – but she figured a needle didn’t have to be big, either, to hurt if you were jabbed with it. Her talons caught in his clothing, but she finally managed to shake herself free. She gave him a long serious look, hoping her stern features could convey something like apology.

“I guess I’ll have to have a chat with Mary before I decide what to do. You can’t exactly ride with me in here. I mean, last thing I need is a little hawk freaking out around my head when I’m flying, right?” Hawkeye crouched and encouraged her to get down onto the shingly ground next to 55, before finally picking up her clothing to stow it in the jet. “I don’t even want to guarantee Mary’s gonna be happy with you in the cockpit of Battlehawk…”

It was strange to be on the same eye-level as a zeroid. 55 watched her with a curious detachment; she looked back, frustrated.

There had to be something she could do to clue him in. Her zeroid was usually attentive and observant, but recognising a tiny bird as his human was asking a lot of his rudimentary imagination. Could kestrels sing? She knew a lot of birds could. Even crows could mimic songs! Surely a human in the wrong body could?

Her voice just wouldn’t behave, though. Even the most generous voice coach would never allow her to call this shrill, shaky screaming noise singing.

55 rocked slightly back on his axis, away from her, then recovered and tilted back, subtly. “I’m sorry, little bird. I know you won’t attack. I just feel… disappointed. I want my miss kestrel back?”

Yeah, Five-five. You and me both.

[themonkeycabal]

The Wheel of Time Season 2!

There might be some book spoilers, but only small, nothing overt, more like talking about changes from the books to tv.

ANYWAY

Welcome back show!

After the dismal ending to last season (which I was able to forgive because I realized how fucked by covid they got ), it starts out strong. They wisely just take the key points from the finale and forget the rest of it ever happened.

During the first ep, the thing that struck me most was that the show feels more confident — or maybe less self-conscious? Less like they're trying to be a fantasy show and more just 'this is our world and our story in it'. If that makes sense? Everybody just seems more comfortable in their skin, even the show itself.

Like, even the costuming, which was good before, seems even better this season. I got caught noticing the textures of the fabrics - so often in sci-fi/fantasy the materials look like/are upholstery fabrics and they look stiff and awful. This stuff is handwoven (or a good facsimile) and looks like real clothes real people wear.

Also, again, PEOPLE WEARING COLOR! SO GREAT! The beautiful textures and patterns on the little girl's clothes at the Dark Friends Social Of Evil And Darkness. Adeleas and her "i've retired to Florida and have decided to wear every color at once" look. Even Moiraine's "I'm a French peasant laboring in the countryside" clothes have color and texture to them. And, of course, Rand's iconic and wonderfully over-the-top red coat. Perfection.

Lovely work everybody.

Assorted things as they come to me:

• Liandrin — she is stealing the show early this season. And thank God. She wasn't much of a character in the books, to be honest, which is weird given the point of her in the story. But Kate Fleetwood has given her so much depth and made her genuinely intriguing. And that's got to be the greatest trick to her — if you've read the books, you know her, and so how do you make her interesting in this show to book readers? How do you make her surprising or mysterious? I genuinely don't know what Liandrin is up to at any given moment, and that's fantastic. I'm so happy to not have one single clue.

I mean, she has a son? PLOT TWIST. And a tidy way to show the consequences of an Aes Sedai's longer life. I totally thought that was a put-on to manipulate Nynaeve, but, no, it really wasn't. She was genuinely pissed at being followed. And she seemed honestly upset when she thought Nynaeve was dead. She didn't even rub Mat's nose in it, and she could have — totally surprising.

I don't know what she's up to with Min and getting Mat away from the Tower. I love it. I'm interested in Liandrin and I never thought I would be.

• Mat — I liked Barney Harris as Mat, but there is a lightness to Dónal Finn that is more Mat to me. When he's ticking off the sounds Liandrin makes as she leaves, I said "oh there he is" that's Mat the trickster. The thing with Mat is he's not as cynical as he wants everybody to think he is, and I think Dónal conveys that really nicely. And he did a really nice job of carrying on the body language and speech rhythm Barney established. Smooth transition, A+.

Was kind of hoping we'd get to see him beat the snot out of Galad and Gawyn, but I'll get over my disappointment. Maybe it can happen later.

And now's about time for his luck to turn, so I'm super eager to see how they do that.

• Min — another character who's become actually interesting. She bored me to tears in the books. Please, give her something to do other than moon over a guy and wear boys clothes. Christ she was dull. There were moments where you almost might think RJ was going to do something with her and then they'd go away. This Min is much more interesting already, just by virtue of us not having to hear endlessly how wacky and weird she is for wearing trousers. Also, what's Liandrin got over her that she's been pressed into service to take Mat away from the Tower? Thrilled to not know.

Also, did not know I needed Mat and Min as disaster road-trip buddies, but now I desperately need that. The potential for chaos and mayhem with them together is just sky high. Please and thank you.

• Moiraine — sometimes I just think to myself "how on Earth did they get Rosamund Pike?" Like, amazing. Brilliant. A tremendous actress giving so much depth to a complicated character. She was so wholly Moiraine the second we first saw her.

One of my favorite things through season one is how she gets progressively more disheveled as things go. By the time they get to Fal Dara she's a sleep-deprived hot mess. She's pouring everything she has into what she thinks is that last push to drive off the Dark One once and for all, that thing she's given twenty years of her life to, and … it wasn't enough. Not only that, but she lost 'control' of Rand and lost the One Power. Sister is in a pure, desperate spiral at the start of season 2. And you just feel it every time you look at her.

And now she's being both self-flagellating and an unbelievable bitch. I feel sure that there's a well much closer to Verin and Adeleas's place, but no, she's got to go hiking halfway through the countryside to get her own bath water. Also that dig at Lan about having Tomas check her horse because she doesn't want her saddle to slip … damn. You really did that to him? He's more patient than she deserves. Of course, that's also got to be insanely frustrating for her because he just won't Go Away and leave her to her misery and obsessive hunt for whatever will make her feel more in control of The End of the World.

Moiraine is all about control and right now she is hanging on by her fingernails. Which are bloody and torn what with the lugging buckets of water halfway across Arafel every day. Really Moiraine? Where's Siuan to tell her to pull herself together already? And stop being cruel to Lan.

Poor guy. When she said you were never equals, Lan, she meant she was never equal to you! You're both big dummies and you need to stop being dummies right now. I did love Tomas, Adeleas, and Verin all being like "use your words, guys. could you please just actually use your words and talk to each other? light, you're both children'. Because, yes.

I imagine that, particularly after the fight with the Fades, she is feeling very helpless. She couldn't save Lan. She couldn't do anything. She had to watch him almost get killed and she was helpless. Oh, but, threatening to force the bond to Alanna, though, so low, Moiraine. So low. It was low in the books, too, but had the extra vicious twist here of being an active threat. Sure, it's understandable, she wasn't going to let him go off and get himself killed for no reason. She doesn't care if she dies, but she cares very much if he does. FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST SHIP GUYS! But, still, it's a pretty crummy way to treat him.

• Lan -- bb I'm so sorry your bff is being mean to you. She's just going through some stuff. You should absolutely throw her in a lake again. IJS.

• Verin — fabulous casting. And it was a nice way to introduce her. Making her and Adeleas sisters and sort of compressing that little side quest of Moiraine's.

I don't want this show to be a shot for shot remake of the books. I'd actually hate that. There's a lot in the books that could have been trimmed or condensed. And in a show with finite space, it's absolutely a necessity. So, I find it interesting to see how they introduce things in the show. They seem to be hitting major beats, but sometimes moving around how they happen, or even creating events that maybe weren't in the books, but do the job of explaining something that took 500 pages of description or introspection. Perrin's wife, for example, which gives the character a good reason to be worried he might hurt somebody accidentally. Something beyond "he was big".

Anyway, in the books Moiraine goes to the two sisters to dig through their library. In the show she does the same, but one of the sisters is now Verin, because honestly, why introduce yet another character that you won't really see again when you can use the time to introduce one you will? Same with Alanna/Myrelle — blending them is a smart choice and serves several story beats instead of one.

And the casting, though! I didn't recognize her from her headshot (and I'm terrible with names), but when I heard her voice I knew who she was immediately. Meera Syal is so great. They're doing so amazing with casting. Good job everybody. Really good job.

I also liked Verin's little bit about how oaths have loopholes. They've been cagey about if Moiraine is actually stilled or just cut off. They're kind of acting like actually stilled, but I have to believe the vagueness is intentional. But, if she's been stilled, oaths are broken. Does Moiraine realize that yet, or suspect it?

• Elayne — finally, the Daughter Heir. And she's so freaking adorable, I can't stand it. I don't know what I expected, but her pure, shining cuteness is delightful. She's like season 1 Jemma Simmons (agents of shield) in a fantasy world. "You're my subject! Let's be best friends forever! I've made novice-cell hooch under my bed!" Heh.

I love her. I love that she took the stripes for whoever let her bring in her servants, I love that she stayed with Egwene in the room with the arches, I love that she's got a lot of understanding and even patience for the people around her. She's a good egg, that Elayne.

MILD BOOK SPOILER I told my roommate (who's only read a couple of the books and didn't like them at all) that there's a whole circus side quest in the books and she immediately said, "it was Elayne's idea, wasn't it?" Heh. Oh please, please keep this in the show. I beg whoever needs to be begged.

• Selene — Excellent casting again. I thought she'd be more difficult for me to buy into, but no, I get it.

Does Rand not think to ask how she gets him into a party full of nobility? Or is he just so hyperfixated on getting Logain his wine it doesn't occur to him? Yes, sure, she distracts him with sexy times, too. And, okay, Rand isn't always the most observant knife in the drawer, bless him, but still. Rand, you dummy.

I do hope we get the flicker worlds in some manner. Perhaps when Rand takes himself off to his next location.

• Logain — Nice, I like this choice. He's too good to put on the shelf for a whole season or two anyway. Better than having him mope in the Tower, besides. This was one of those scenes were my roommate asked if this was in the books and I said no, but after I stopped to think a second, I had to say that it kind of is. It's different, but hits points from the books.

Interesting he still thinks he might be the Dragon. Again, really nice to see character building outwards, even in little details, like the wine. There's not enough of that for secondary characters in the books. Of course, there's 9 million characters in the books, so that's less a complaint and more an observation.

• The Old Sword Master — I like this too. There was no way to really have Rand cool his heels in Fal Dara for long enough to have Lan teach him the sword. This is a good way to do it, and his time with the man speaks to Rand's compassion and gentleness.

• Rand — overall we're easing into his story. I don't have much to say extra. Pleased to see the red coat, obviously. Pleased to seem him get his first, very confused, taste of the Game. He might be a little thick, but he's trying his best, okay?

• Egwene — very into building her own character! Loving the chores! Probably not much different from back home, but the promise of doing Greater Things as an Aes Sedai. Not super a lot to say yet. As far as the Tower concerns, the first three eps were very much about Nynaeve. Oh, did enjoy that tiny taste of foreshadowing. Also enjoyed the look on her face when Elayne said Egwene was her subject.

• Nynaeve — a joy and a delight as ever. I love her and I don't care who knows it. Is she abrasive? Yes. Contrary? You bet. Ready to punch, kick, stab, and/or destroy at any given moment for any given reason? Absolutely. She's great.

Her accepted test was more brutal than I was expecting. The first two were understandable, but the last one, when she comes back and still has her hands up as if carrying her child? Man, harsh.

And, she's going to be sooo furious next time she sees Alanna. I can't wait.

Very curious as to what Liandrin has planned for her. I mean, I can guess, but I won't spoil anything here, and this is a new direction. Thrilled to not know about this as well.

• Perrin — he's always kind of been the least interesting of the Emond's Fielders to me. Sorry, guy. He has his moments, sure, but mostly in the books I find him just an awful lot of introspection and 'refusal of the call' to the point that it's all very circular and boring.

Giving him the visions as they track the dark friends is a nice twist. It's unclear if it's a wolf thing or a ta'veren thing. Like I don't think Elyas is having visions exactly like Perrin's, more that he can smell what happened. Like Hurin did. I loved Hurin but I get using Elyas instead. There's only so much room for so many characters, and Elyas has a purpose for Perrin, more than Hurin did.

Also liked Ishamael giving Perrin a real reason to fear the wolves. Spared 1000 pages of Perrin tortured introspection! Hurrah!

Fade on the door! Fade on the door! I forgot about that until that bit. That was awesome. Never stop being a creepy fuck, no-spoilers-person-who-nailed-a-Fade-to-a-door.

Things that could have been better:

• I was a little unclear on where Perrin and the Shienarans where and when they reached the coast I was surprised. They could be a little better at establishing locations. I think only the Fore Gate in Cairhien got a chyron. I know amazon has a little map in x-ray but I should need that to figure out where things are happening. I mean, I guess I could have figured it by doing the 'five months gone' math. But still, I shouldn't have to do math.

• I would like, overall, for the ta'veren to start feeling a little more ta'veren-y. Let's start seeing some random ass wtf-ery. They actually seem to have backed off the notion of ta'veren and I'd rather they didn't. That was sort of the point.

Alanna brings it up a little bit, that the Wheel is turning out weapons for the last battle and all, but a weapon is not the same thing as ta'veren. But I suppose it's early, Rand has not yet even begun to really mess with the pattern, so fingers crossed.

• Uno. Like. Come on. I don't even.

• Kind of wanted the Seanchan soldiers to look more buggy. They do look very horrible and terrifying, so there's that. I suppose it's a choice.

Also, it's going to be awfully hard to disguise oneself as a sul'dam, if one were to want to do such a thing.

• I don't really like the damane's pacifiers. I get the point of wanting to visually drive home the point that they've been entirely dehumanized, but I think it just looks stupid.

This is long and I'm sleepy and I guess I've said all the things I wanted to say. For now anyway.

Good start! Welcome back show! I am very pleased.

[emmlovesmarvel]

Epilogue

Two years later

Max POV

"Hailee, babe have you seen my cardigan?" I yell down the stairs.

"Which one?" She yells back.

"The blue one!"

"Baby, which blue one you have 3." I hear her laugh.

"The one with the white stars on it!"

"Oh yeah it's in my car, which works out because we're running late!"

Tonight is our one year anniversary. We decided to spend it at our favorite Thai restaurant along with moms, Yelena, and Kate. I know that may seem a bit weird for an anniversary but we are so close and this gives us a reason to celebrate something all together. Something we haven't had a lot of time to do since Hailee and I went off to college.

"I'm coming!"

When we get to the restaurant, everyone else was already there. Of course we were late to our own celebratory dinner.

Everyone gets up to greet us when we get to the table.

"Hi baby. You look so beautiful." Mom whispers as she holds me tight.

"You do too mom. Thanks for being here." I kiss her cheek.

"You're so grown up and so beautiful, my love. I love you so much." Mama says as she hugs me and kisses my cheek.

Hailee hugs them both while I hug Kate and then auntie Lena. We all sit down and discuss the menu before deciding what to order.

We have a comfortable conversation going before Yelena makes a toast.

"You know, if you were to ask me two years ago where we would be, this is exactly how I imagined it. I'm so proud of each of us and everything we've been through. I am so lucky to be in such a strong, loving family who takes care of each other. Nat and I grew up in some not so great circumstances. It was the hardest time of our lives. Then Nat met Wanda and had the best gift of all. I am so proud of you, Maxie. I love you so much and am so glad you found Hailee. You two deserve the best this world has to offer. I love you." I stand up to hug Yelena and we stay hugging for 2 minutes before sitting down.

"Me next!" Mama says making us chuckle.

"Max, you are my biggest love. Life handed you some awful cards and you took them and ended up winning. I am so proud of how you have gotten to the place you are at right this moment. I couldn't be more honored and lucky to be your mom. I am so happy to have Hailee in our family. You two fit so well together. Happy Anniversary! I love you so much, Max. More than you'll ever know." Since I was sitting next to her, I leaned into her as she kissed my head and forehead.

"I love you, mama." I whisper for only her to hear.

"You are such a powerful example of what I strive to be as a human being. In these last years, I have learned so much from you, my heart. I have loved being your mother all these years and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Having you as my daughter has been the greatest mission of all. I love you so much, Max. I am so happy you have Hailee and that she fits in so well into our little family. Happy Anniversary!" I stand up to hug mom as she slightly lifts me up off the floor, hugging me so tight.

"Thank you all for these sweet words. Glad Hailee made me wear the waterproof mascara tonight." I pause, making everyone laugh.

"I wouldn't be here without each and everyone of you. You have all saved and protected me countless times and I don't know how I can ever repay you. All I can do is tell you how lucky I am to have such excepting and loving parents, protective and fearless aunts, and a wonderfully perfect girlfriend whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am so happy we are all here together, thriving and conquering whatever life throws us. I love you so much Hailee. I never imagined at that party that it would be you and I. Happy Anniversary my love." She stands up to kiss me and we hug everyone around the table.

--

I have the best family in the world. They have taught me that I can go through shitty things and still come out kicking and surviving. I am now loving to live instead of just living to survive. I owe everything to my moms. I am forever honored to be their heart.

[snowflakeanimelover]

Hi Dear Kate♡

This is noy a request or anything, just wanted to say thank you for being on Tumblr and I deeply hope you take care of yourself physically and mentally :)

Have a great day

😭omg your gonna make me cryyyy!

This was lovely to see, thank you so much. I am trying my best to take care of myself. Life hasn’t been the greatest and there is so much going on. But I promise I’m taking care of myself and not going over board.

It was the best decision I’ve made to have Tumblr. I enjoy writing and meeting people on here. In fact, I would be writing as much as I am now if it weren’t for you guys.

I hope you are taking care of yourself as well! And I hope you have a fantastic day❤️❤️

[newtonsheffield]

Ok I’m a sap but poor baby uni student Anthony. That love at first sight or the literal fall have got him actually loco already. Iconic. I am here yet again begging for a snippet a crumb of happier times in these two’s future to sustain us through these angsty times. Peace and gratitude as per ✌🏼

Oh boy, imagine how excited Anthony would be to share the story of how they met with their children though.

He’d sit with Neddy on his chest, flat out on the sofa, nose to nose with his three week old son.

“Neddy boy, let Papa tell you a story. It’s the greatest love story that was ever told.”

“If it’s Wuthering Heights, I’ll scream.” Kate said from the floor beside him, watching them carefully as she folded washing.

Anthony scoffed, “Heathcliff and Cathy have absolutely nothing on us, thank you. Now, When Papa was young and virile-”

“Don’t say virile to our son”

“Me being virile is how he came to be. It’s pertinent.” Anthony plotted on, “Let me tell my story please, I’m an award winning author. I know how to tell a story.”

“Oh, by all means, proceed then master wordsmith.” Kate chuckled, running her hand over Neddy’s hair gently.

“Thank you for calling me a master wordsmith.” Anthony said quickly, kissing Neddy’s forehead before he continued. “When Papa was young, he was playing a game with Uncle Simon, he looked very cool doing it by the way. And while he was playing this game he ran into the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen in your life.”

“You trampled her is what you did.”

“There was minor trampling, Neddy, it’s true.” Anthony allowed, “And I fell in love with Amma right away but she didn’t care for poor old Papa. She thought he was an idiot, a fool, a buffoon.”

“I don’t think buffoon is fair, I had narrowly escaped with my life.”

“Semantics. Anyway, Papa waited and waited and they became best friends and finally Papa wrote a book to tell Mummy how much he loved her and finally she fell in love with him too.”

“I loved you much sooner than that.” Kate scoffed, Kissing Anthony’s cheek. “You know that.”

Anthony squinted one eye at her, “How soon would you say?”

Kate scrunched her face up at her husband, “We’ve had this conversation before, you really want me to tell you?”

“I always love to hear how irresistible I was to you.”

She flicked the end of his nose playfully, “I think I started falling in love with you that first night at that seedy pub not far from my dorm. You had written me a short story, because I made that crack about you being a bad writer and I… Well, I’m glad I was wrong. It was beautiful, and… you… had no reason to write that for me. You had no reason to have it in your bag that day and you slid it under my glass when I was at the bar and… I never would have said it at the time but I’m glad you ran into me that day. I’m glad I met you. Almost every thing good I have in my life is because of you and I love you.”

Anthony swallowed the lump in his throat. “We did make a great baby. I don’t think it’s any exaggeration to say he’s a genius.”

“Clearly not.”

[triviareads]

ARC Review of Sinfully Tempted by Kathleen Ayers

Summary:

After being caught in a compromising position with the Duke of Ware, Lady Tamsin Sinclair manages to cling onto what remains of her reputation by agreeing to fake a a short-term relationship with duke. She and Ware will pretend theirs is an intellectual attachment for a few weeks to quiet the gossips, but to her surprise, she begins to fall for the duke...

My review:

I had a lot of fun with this book; Kathleen Ayers loves to write characters with interesting jobs or hobbies, and in this case, the hero, Ware, is an amateur entomologist. As someone who is squeamish around bugs, I thought I'd find it gross or weird, but it actually works! And what more, it works on a romance level— like, Tamsin and Ware's first meeting involves him trying to get a moth off her bare knee without telling he what's going on so she's punching him repeatedly (and then he kisses her thigh?!? bear in mind this is their FIRST MEETING) and they're caught in a compromising position which results in the sham "attachment" they both need to play up to save Tamsin's reputation (and more importantly for Tamsin, save her sister's reputation by proxy). And there's a lot of sly innuendo applied throughout the book related to bugs, and even some pretty damn romantic lines later on. Basically, when Kathleen writes an MC with a hobby, she goes all in.

And here's the thing about Ware: for all that Kathleen (and Tamsin) goes off about how big and awkward he is (sidenote: Ware isn't explicitly written as fat/plus-sized, but he is described as big and has think thighs and a soft stomach), he's actually a REALLY attractive man and when it hits you, it hits. He'll be nattering on about bugs and Tamsin will be snarking about how his hobby involves pinning dead insects into displays and then suddenly he's like "perhaps I'll pin you one day". That single-minded focus he brings to all things really pays off for Tamsin. As for Tamsin, she's an older (well, she's 26 but she's been through it, life-wise), jaded heroine, but she hasn't let society tamp down her spirit. That being said, a lot of the plot is her feeling like she's too improper to be a duchess (her mother was an actress) so she pushes away Ware for a considerable amount of the story until she can't anymore.

The sex:

I really wish there were more sex scenes in this book because what we got was excellent. I will say though, maybe there was merit to them holding off until closer to the end because Tamsin basically had to become half-crazed with longing (to the point where she was driven to drink) in order to admit to herself that she wanted Ware. Here's what I enjoyed most:

a) We love men who attempt to stifle their erection by reciting the Latin names for various insects

b) There was an over-the-clothes stuff moment where Ware is all "we're MORE than a fling bby" and that's always an enjoyable moment for me

c) If you're a fan of the gazebo scene in Bridgerton season 2, you'll love their garden sex scene which had big "don't stop" vibes AND unlike Kate and Anthony, they actually woke up together after falling asleep outside

d) Speaking of Kate and Anthony, there's SNIFFING

e) There is some half-virgin hero rep as well a heroine who is not a virgin

f) The greatest moment might be when he rips her drawers off her and puts them in his pocket while going "you won't be needing these anymore" and then in a scene WE WERE NOT SHOWN, it's insinuated he basically deposited them on her brother's desk and went "well I guess I gotta marry her now". Frankly, this is the one place I felt cheated.

Overall:

I'd recommend this book to any historical romance reader. It has a lot of heart, banter, and a great romance with solid sex scenes, and I look forward to reading the next book in The Five Deadly Sins series.

Thank you to Dragonblade Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Hey, everyone!

I'm doing better (although living on my own is WEIRD after being with my ex for 21 years), and I wanted to thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I'm getting through this one day at a time, and I'll make it to the other side of the road. 🐔

Anyway, there was a recent list of best comedians in the 21st century in the Telegraph on the eve of the Fringe Festival, and some of my favorite comics were included! 👀

Here's the descriptions for those curious—I highly recommend all of these incredible comics, ESPECIALLY number 1:

44. Kate Berlant (my article about her and Bo; audience interviews for Kate coming soon!)

A warped mirror for millennial smugness, 36-year-old Berlant’s narcissistic persona and fast-paced, deadpan delivery have inspired a host of great younger acts ­(including Leo Reich). Her ­half-improvised, stream-of-­consciousness patter is a kind of thrilling comedy glossolalia, while her mind-reading routine is some of the funniest failed ­stage-magic since Tommy Cooper. The ­American’s luvvie-mocking ­Broadway show Kate (directed by Bo Burnham) arrives in London next month. Fight for a ticket.

16. James Acaster (my article about him and Bo)

It’s easy to take Acaster for granted – he’s constantly on panel shows and podcasts. But his 2018 stand-up shows (collected on Netflix as Repertoire) are works of borderline genius; baroque puzzle-boxes, all buried callbacks and high-concept whimsy. If he once seemed a bit aloof and impersonal, that mask fell with his most recent West End show: a confessional tour-de-force about being dumped by his girlfriend for Rowan Atkinson.

5. Tim Minchin (my article about him and Bo)

The kohl-eyed, frantic-haired ­Aussie already felt like the ­finished article when he parachuted into the 2005 Edinburgh Fringe with his sensational debut, which ­parodied teen popstar dreams with precision-tooled, beat-perfect musical numbers. Almost two decades later – after stage-musical success with Matilda and Groundhog Day – his live shows come with more ­contemplation and political edge, but that twinkly-eyed mischief is still there. Minchin evolves with age, and is all the better for it.

4. Maria Bamford (my article about her and Bo)

A critic once called Bamford ­schizophrenic. She corrected him: “That’s not my mental ­illness! ­Schizophrenia is, of course, ­hearing voices, not doing voices.” An ­impressionist whose vocal ­acrobatics are usually used to ­imitate her own family, Bamford can be surreal, confessional or ­staggeringly dark (especially stories about her time “in the psych ward”), but is always ­thrilling. Her rare ­performances – in her own front room, car parks, or to just one ­audience member at a time – are unique. Wildly original, and a crucial influence on countless young British acts, she is, to my mind, America’s greatest living stand-up.

1. Bo Burnham (my primer and SOOOO much more on my website haha)

Burnham is the 21st-century ­comedian. Recorded in his ­bedroom, the razor-sharp New ­Englander’s piano-driven songs made him a ­YouTube sensation by the age of 19, at which point, in 2010, he ­astonished British audiences with an almost bewilderingly precocious stage debut, Words, Words, Words. 

His follow-up, What, was better yet, a royal-flush hour of ingeniously sly musical, character and meta-comedy that was the undisputed hit of 2013. As he told me at the time, “I do hope my sort of frantic, the-floor-is-lava type of comedy is a mimic of what it feels like to be alive now.” Indeed it was, and, although panic attacks took Burnham away from the stage for some years, he blithely whipped up the acclaimed feature film Eighth Grade in 2018, and three years later returned to the public eye with the Netflix ­special Inside. 

This was locked-down comedy – as “live” as it could be at the time – about the misery, isolation and gnawing insecurity of being a young comic unable to perform, so finely observed, intricately ­constructed and beautifully ­written it made your head spin. In terms of capturing that bizarre moment, mining it for laughs, and speaking both to his own generation and to all of us imprisoned in our own homes, no one else even came close.

Congratulations, Bo! ✌🏼