#thanks for tuning in; tomorrow I’ll tell you about chapter 6 of the body keeps the score LOL groundbreaking

[notveryshrugemoji]

4 years of therapy* and I feel like I’m making strides now.

[sekceesimps]

A Rose Made of Chains Ch 1

a/n Thanks for the 50 followers everyone! Keep sending us feedback and requests. 

As promised here is chapter 1. Monday (tomorrow) night I’ll be publishing chapter 2 and then chapter 3 on Tuesday night. More info shortly but when we hit another milestone I’ll be publishing chapters 4-6. 

Once again, thank you so much for the support! We never thought that we’d get this much appreciation from everyone. Hope you enjoy!

sincerely,

Coffee 

Teaser   Ch 2    Ch 3

teaser for part 2,    Ch 4,    Ch 5,   Ch 6,   Ch 7

Kurapika (aged up) x Reader x Chrollo 

Soulmate AU where you can find your soulmate through matching soulmarks. 

Chapter 1

The rocking of the dingy boat made it hard for you to stand, but you did so nonetheless. Bitter water and a nervous type of air had taken over your senses. Your determination to get to the exam had forced you to ignore the wobbling of your legs ad you pushed yourself even further to get to the wheelhouse. When you had finally reached it, you noticed a small kid and two others also struggling to stay on their feet as the storm raged on. You had smiled queasily at the tall man with glasses. You don’t remember much during that moment, at least, not until the blonde passenger began a passionate speech. You tuned most of it out until you saw those glowing scarlet eyes, filled with fiery rage and fervor. Those eyes that haunt your dreams and still stick with you even now. You remember looking deep into that vermillion and knowing exactly who the blonde was in that moment. After his dramatic reveal, you yourself had quietly taken out your contacts and looked at him with a matching passion. In that moment, the two of you knew you were destined to be together, two survivors on the hunt for vengeance. 

»»————-　　————-««

The exam itself wasn’t too rough for you. You and the blonde Kurta, who had later told you that his name was Kurapika, had shared stories as you ran together through the first phase with ease. You had learned that he had been the lone survivor of the massacre. He listened intently when you informed him that you weren’t fully part of the clan, but rather that your father had been and you were raised to be a hunter with your mother far away from the Lukso Province. At that time, you were still hesitant to tell him about your home life, wanting to only listen to him and memorize how he looked in case he was also taken from you. You had always believed yourself to be unlucky for inheriting the scarlet eyes. You had viewed it as a mark of death and a hideous trait from your father, as it had been drilled into your head for the past five years. You had confided in Kurapika about this self hatred, sobbing softly at the thought of you and your family being hunted down for them. You hoped these words wouldn't be intense enough for him to leave you too. When the both of you had reached the end of the tunnel, he had pulled you in close and told you that nothing was more important to him than protecting you, the last member of his clan. You remember how passionate he was with this promise, nuzzling his face into your hair. The rose surrounded by chains inked onto his wrist, the one that was also on your body, had gone unnoticed by you. 

»»————-　　————-««

The second phase of the exam was when you truly began bonding with Kurapika’s companions. Your initial wariness, that his friends had initially interpreted as aloofness, began fading away as you took on a more helpful role for them, a role which would later turn into a sisterly one. After the examiner had let you all loose in the forest, you had quickly joined up again with the blonde Kurta, while also going with the people who were on the boat with you. The green haired boy named Gon and the tall man named Leorio stuck close as you led them through the foggy swamp. Through your trek, you had learned more about who they were and in that time you vowed to yourself that you would protect the young boy and try to help him on his quest to becoming a hunter. His demeanor and passion was something you admired and wished to see more of. You remember how in that trek, your small party had come across the magician named Hisoka that Kurapika had initially told you to be wary of before the exam had even started. You were all crouching and watching as the red haired man ruthlessly slaughtered a capable group of examinees. The rest of what happened was a little blurry to you, but you remember your anger when the magician had smirked at you and told you how ravishing you looked and in that moment you had chosen to fight. It had ended rather quickly, his combat skills were much better than you could have ever imagined. Somehow he had still managed to flirt with you while you and Gon tried to attack. You attributed your flushed red face to the fight rather than some of the steamy words he had whispered before tossing you to the ground. Hisoka had easily taken out Leorio but happily said that your group had passed, whatever that meant. The atmosphere was uncomfortable to say the least as you and your companion continued on your way. You and Gon successfully met up again with Kurapika and Gon’s white haired friend from the first phase. Kurapika had quietly asked if you were okay as he tended to a minor wound on your arm. You fondly remember the concentration on his face as you reassured him of your safety, no one you had ever met showed you this type of warmth before. That moment was when you had realized that you cared deeply for him. 

»»————-　　————-««

The rest of the exam had been fairly unmemorable. There was a whole struggle with the gourmet hunters, but you had powered through with Kurapika at your side, as usual. The third phase was unfortunately when you and your new friends had gotten separated. The five of you had lined up on the tiles at the top of trick tower and jumped in. You didn’t know what happened to your companions, but you recognized the urgency of passing the phase and went down the dark hallway alone. You recall the surprise of meeting up with Hisoka during the test, teaming up to brave the last part of the tower together. The two of you ended up successfully being the first and second people to pass, with days left to spare. As the hours passed with you and the magician  wordlessly sitting together in silence, you couldn’t help but think of what Kurapika and the rest of the boys were doing right now. Your anxiety only increased when other examinees continued coming through and the blonde was still nowhere in sight. 

“Darling, what’s got you looking so stressed. Your eyebrows are too crinkled,” Hisoka had interrupted your endlessly running fearful thoughts about 50 hours into the exam. You only sighed and ignored him. “You know, we make an incredible team. I’d love to truly fight you one day. You have this certain aura that I would just love to break” he continued and licked his lips, looking down on you with eyes of pure malice. 

“I’ve got a delicious idea that could tire you out easily,” the man grinned with mischief and scooted closer to you. You glared at him in response, frantically trying to push him away. He chuckles at your pitiful attempt, but leaves you be for now. 

“Thanks for the concern, I guess. I’m just tired and I can’t seem to fall asleep.” you mumbled and fiddled with your hands. You wished that Kurapika were with you, his presence somehow always filled you with ease. 

It was down to the wire, when your hope ran out and you had accepted that your companions would not pass this phase. Sighing you went to Hisoka for a conversation, at this point he was the only person you knew since everybody else around you filled you with uncertainty. It was at that moment that your four companions and some other guy burst into the clearing at the last possible second. You grinned and waved at Kurapika, but he wasn’t looking at you. Instead, he was glaring daggers at Hisoka, who had put his hand on your waist when you hadn’t noticed. You shrugged him off and gave the blonde teen the warmest of smiles. You hoped that it made his heart melt, he had seemed cold after you two had been seperated. 

»»————-　　————-««

Zevil Island was unbearably hot. The whole area was much too warm for your liking. It was almost off putting how hot it was, a sharp contrast to the freezing cold demeanors of your fellow examinees. As you got off the boat, Gon had smiled and congratulated you on coming in second.  This meant that you were one of the first to get off the boat and begin the trial. Kurapika looked far away as you had told him how you planned to stick by his side this time. He nodded solemnly as you told him that you would be off first so you would find him when he started. You had hidden in a tree and waited hours for him to finally get there. You remember grinning and how that instantly put him in a less tense position after you had jumped down and surprised him. You hoped that his ease with you was a sign that he cared about you too. Fortunately, neither of you had a target you knew, so you had both got your buttons fairly quickly, the two of you truly being excellent partners. The rest of the test was spent helping Leorio again, as the two of you powered through together, back to your friendly dynamic. You treasured how he said he wouldn’t let you out of his sight again. With that phase over, and all of you at rest before the final phase, you saw it fit to bring up soulmates with Kurapika. 

“Kurapika! How are you.” You caught him as he was pacing the area in front of his room. 

“Huh? Oh, hey Y/N,” he had grinned with surprise at seeing you, “do you want to go on a walk with me?” His invitation made your cheeks flush red, but you gave an enthusiastic yes and followed him. You talked about meaningless things like music taste at first, then your ambitions, your thoughts on the future, and then finally you brought up the one subject you were anxious about covering. You were beginning to have a suspicion that the blonde was your soulmate. The two of you had just gotten along so perfectly. It seemed like fate intervening when you two had met on that boat and he had revealed his identity. You hoped that it would be him who you’d spend your life with. He was so intelligent and calm. Not to mention, also incredibly attractive. You weren’t too sure how to ask him if he had a soulmate. Your own soulmark was inked onto your thigh, a place that made it hard for others to be able to identify you as their own soulmate. The placement made it much easier to pass off as someone without a soulmate. It was common for people not to have a soulmate now. In fact, it was also a common occurrence for people to lose their soulmate and then their mark would disappear. There were also terrible people in this world who would leave their soulmates, not everyone had a happily ever after and you were especially aware of this, your own parents being a soulmate couple that split up. The concept of a soulmate was once incredibly appealing to you as you grew up, but the more pain you saw in the world the more you gave up on the dream of a perfect partner determined by fate.  Yet you silently prayed to whatever God that was listening for his mark to be a blooming rose being wrapped up by heavy chains. 

“So, what are your thoughts about soulmates?” you inquired casually. He looked at you with a slightly surprised smile before answering, 

“I think it’s definitely an interesting concept. I want to find someone one day. The idea of a person matching and completing my soul is so fulfilling. But it would be too much of a danger for me to have a soulmate right now. I want to meet them later, after I’ve done what I need to do. I just can’t have them be with me, it wouldn’t be fair to them,” he stated seriously, “what about you?” Those few words promptly break your heart. If you were his soulmate, you promised yourself in that instance to hold strong and wait for him. His heart is too heavy right now to take on the burden of you. 

You sit next to him in silence for a bit, unsure of how to answer him, so instead you ask “What’s your soulmark,” breaking the awkwardness. He smiles and shows his wrist  to you. In sharp contrast to his pale skin you see black and red marking his left wrist. A crimson rose encased in black chains, it matches yours perfectly. Your stomach drops. You don’t want to seem suspicious so you run your fingers lightly over his delicate skin and smile, you compliment the design and tell him how lucky he is.  

“Y/N, can I see your soulmark” he had asked so sweetly and looked at you with the soft smoky eyes you had begun to love. 

“I actually don’t have one,” you grin, trying to hide your pained words. It hurt you more than anything to lie to him, to have to see his small amount of joy dissipate. It’s all for the best you think to yourself. Someone as perfect as him shouldn’t have to weigh himself down with someone like me. You smile softly again and change the topic before wishing him a goodnight.  

»»————-　　————-««

Passing the hunter exam and gaining your license didn’t fill you with as much excitement as you expected it to. You felt bad for Gon, seeing as his friend didn’t pass. You liked the green haired boy quite a bit and wanted to help him the best you could. So when your soulmate said that he was going to go off on his own and earn money for the auction, you decided in that moment that it was time for you two to part. You wanted to help Gon find Killua and you needed some time without Kurapika so that you could think of your own future. You told him this but not without a vow to see him again. 

“I promise that I’ll see you again” you declared with angry resolve. Kurapika smiles softly and places a light kiss on your forehead. You sigh and interlocked your fingers with his for one last time. 

“As do I,” he replied, backing away and waving to you and your travel companions. You were going to fight tooth and nail to see him again in York New City.

»»————-　　————-«« 

Icy water splashed across your frail sleeping form. You sharply gasp as the frigid splash wakes you from your dreams about the past. You don’t know how long you’ve been here or even where you are. You let out another sharp yelp in pain when a blade as quick as light rips the skin on your barely healed cheek apart. It always starts like this. A man comes in and jolts you awake, then he reopens the wounds from when they took you, before implementing some new form of injury. The last form of torture is always expected in your day and you weren’t sure in the first few sessions, but in all of them the same dark figure stood behind in the shadows. Watching but never saying anything. You were in agony at the end of every day, but your decisiveness remained the same each time. At the end of these sessions your torturer would ask if you wanted to join his group, you would let out a snarky reply saying no, then he would leave you in darkness for several days before coming back and starting it all over again. However, your resolve was becoming shorter and shorter with each passing day. You didn’t know if your friends even knew you were here. You were starting to believe that no one was coming to save you, no happy ending in sight. All you want is to see your blonde soulmate one last time. The dark quickly closes in again as the door closes shut, leaving you to your dream like state again. 

a/n Chrollo in the next chapter, I promise. Please leave some feedback, as this is my first chapter fic. Anyways hope you enjoyed, Ch 2 out tomorrow!

~Happy Holidays!~

[ga-yuu]

~Kurama~Main Story Chapter 7~

I love how Yoshino and Kurama are literally flirting on the battlefield. Yoshino....I have already said it, but I’ll say it again, she’s the best character CYBIRD has ever created, according to me, that is. And I also love how she literally drools in awe at the sight of her male leads in every route.

WARNING!!! This story has a lot of violence, blood, and gore.

Chapter 6

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*

*

-------Part 1-------

Kurama: "Troublesome woman."

He clicks his tongue and pulls me tight with one hand.

Yoshino: "........!"

Something warm touches my back as he straightened me and he positioned me in such a way so that I could lean on his chest.

Yoshino(blushing): "Kurama.....?"

Kurama: "Sit still, like an ornament. If you fidget, I'll have to do more."

As he says this, Kurama draws his sword with one free hand and lets it fly.

In the blink of an eye, the battle was upon us.

Enemy soldier 1: “....! The banner of the rebel army.”

(They saw us!)

Kurama: “Let’s go.”

One minute we’re floating and the next moment----

Kurama makes his horse dance and plunges into the middle of the battle.

I bit back a scream before I had time to reply.

Enemy soldier 2: “You’d be a fool to come in with that many hands!”

Enemy soldier 3: “Have the rebels gone crazy? Come on!”

Kurama: “It’s an annoying rumor, we’ll have to stop it soon.”

The sword, wielded with tremendous force, struck the enemy soldier in the torso.

The second blow had already flicked off the sword of another enemy, who had fallen from the saddle without a second thought.

Enemy soldier 1: “ARGGHHH!”

Kurama: “Get out of my way.”

Kurama grabs the enemy by the chest and throws him with ease.

(I can’t believe he’s so strong even without using any other powers!)

Rebel soldier 1: “Don’t fall behind Kurama-sama!”

Rebel soldier 2: “Yes, we’ll help Benkei-sama in any way we can!”

The rebel soldiers, desperate to catch up with Kurama, are also struggling with their weapons.

(Great, even though we are outnumbered by the enemy.)

As soon as he appeared, he slew five of his enemies, and his presence sent them into a frenzy and completely galvanized his allies.

But Kurama doesn’t care about that, he’s running fast.

Kurama: “Benkei is further back?”

The swords he wielded were brilliantly used to dispatch one enemy after another.

(I don’t have time to feel afraid of the enemy.)

Kurama, who is closest to me, is much more terrifying.

Despite my awe, I feel the same warmth as our bodies touch.

Kurama: “What are you thinking? Why do you keep making that stunning face at such times?”

------Part 2------

Kurama: “What are you thinking? Why do you keep making that stunning face at such times?”

(Ah.......)

As he rode his horse fast, Kurama forced my face upwards.

Uninteresting eyes look down on me.

Yoshino: “Kurama is the one who should not be looking the other way at a time like this.”

Kurama: “For me, it’s child’s play. More importantly, don’t be so cocky as to think you can hide things from me, Yoshino.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. I didn’t mean to. (+4/+4)

2. It’s just your imagination.

3. Kurama, is strong....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoshino: “I didn’t mean to imply.....that I was hiding anything.”

Kurama: “If you want to fool me, I can call your name in your ear as often as I did that time.”

Yoshino(blushing): “That’s a bit....!”

Kurama laughed in the back of his throat in satisfaction when he saw my impatience at the sound of his gifted voice.

Kurama: “Remember this, even what you feel in your heart must be something that I give to you.”

Yoshino(blushing): “So, unreasonable....”

At that time-----

(.....!)

One arrow flies towards me with a bite.

Kurama: “Don’t look away.”

Yoshino: “Kurama!”

The enemy archers look aghast when they see me unharmed.

I was the only one who noticed the swirl of transparent wind that had forcibly twisted the trajectory of the arrow in front of me.

(Wind blade...)

Kurama: “......”

Kurama, who had been trying to manipulate his ability without turning around, suddenly touched my cheek as if to confirm something.

Yoshino: “Eh...”

Kurama: “I hope you’re not injured.”

Yoshino(blushing): “No, no, no I’m fine.”

Kurama: “So be it. Humans are vulnerable.”

(That’s...)

Yoshino: “If I get hurt, will Kurama be in trouble...?”

Kurama: “I’m not in the slightest bit of trouble.”

The red of his eyes took on a dumbfounded color at my question.

Kurama: “I told you I won’t kill you for now. It’s just that once you’ve spat, you don’t swallow.”

Yoshino: “You mean you keep your promises? Even with humans?”

I look back at Kurama feeling surprised.

Kurama: “To condescend to break a self-imposed rule is like begging to be reduced to a dwarf.”

 As he continued to speak, Kurama killed another incoming enemy soldier with a single slash.

(Metaphorically speaking, I thought Kurama was as terrifying as a natural disaster.)

A terrifying demon that defies logic and human understanding. That was my first impression of Kurama.

(But now, I know a bit more.)

(Kurama is just living on a different scale, neither good nor evil as I know it.)

(He’s arrogant, but reasonable, which is why I’m drawn to him without even knowing it. ....I’m sure the rebel army thinks the same.)

Kurama lightly swings his swords, which are dripping with blood, to get rid of the drops.

Even the gesture was cruelly beautiful.

Enemy soldier 2: “Damn it, stop that man!”

Enemy soldier 3: “AAAHHH!!!”

(We’re surrounded!)

Perhaps fearing Kurama, who leads the way with overwhelming strength, about five enemies attacked us all at once.

Yoshino: ”No....!!!”

Kurama: “It’s useless.”

------Part 3-----

Kurama: “It’s useless.”

On the contrary, without changing his color, Kurama makes his horse dance further in front of the enemy.

Enemy soldier 2: “Ku....”

The enemy, impatient to be out of range, struck a blow in the dark.

Kurama knocked it down with difficulty and twisted the enemy with his return sword.

Enemy soldier 3: “Eat this!”

Kurama: “......”

(I’m going to be slashed-----)

He came at me from the side, and our blades collided with each other by the skin of our teeth.

He clicks his tongue sharply and forcefully Kurama bounces off the enemy’s sword.

Kurama: “I don’t like it. Fighting for cover.”

Yoshino: ”Be careful!”

Kurama dodges a slash that comes at him from a blind spot.

Without blinking an eye, he literally flipped his enemy off, even as he slashed black hair fell in a heap.

Yoshino: “.....Kurama, are you hurt?”

Kurama: “If you’re so bored you’re asking unnecessary questions, take a nap.”(I love him!)

Yoshino: “Then I’ll have nightmares for sure!”(I love her too!)

Kurama: “You seem to have more blood in your veins than you care to admit. A few scratches won’t kill you.”

Despite this, Kurama does not let up his attack.

(It looks like you can afford it....)

As I say this, I’m not used to fighting for someone else.

From a while ago, the enemy’s sword skimmed past Kurama’s body.

Enemy soldier 5: “He’s too strong,....is he a monster!?”

Enemy soldier 6: “Aim for the woman! Let’s take her as a hostage....”

Yoshino: “Me....?”

I was horrified by all the glaring stares.

I then heard Kurama chuckled coldly above me.

Kurama: “Don’t you know that tricks are useless in the face of overwhelming odds? A little ignorance is a pity, but stupidity is a sin. Atone for it and be scattered with the dew.”

The swords wielded without mercy slaughtered one enemy after another, turning the earth red.

Enemy soldier 7: “Nnn.....”

The last person, shaking and clutching his sword, falls on his butt.

Kurama: “Stand up and I’ll kill you with honor.”

The enemy soldier shook his head in dismay, tears streaming down his cheeks as he was overpowered.

Without even looking at him, Kurama passes by.

Yoshino: “So you chose not to kill him....?”

Kurama: “He who is gripped by fear is as good as not alive. What is the use of slaying the dead?”

------Part 4------

Kurama: “He who is gripped by fear is as good as not alive. What is the use of slaying the dead?”

(-----After all.)

I felt the black wings that should have been invisible on Kurama’’s back spread powerfully.

(To be strong is to be cruel, arrogant.....and to be able to live your life the way you want to live it.)

Unrestrained and following his heart, Kurama is both terrifying and hauntingly beautiful.

(There is not the slightest deviation between Kurama’s words and actions.)

I spilled a small truth in the wind because I knew it so painfully.

Yoshino: “.....Thank you.”

Kurama: “......?”

Yoshino: “I never thanked you for your help. It was my misfortune and fault that I was taken as a prisoner, and it was Kurama who brought me to the battle in that condition, but....in the meantime, thank you for not letting me die now.”

Kurama: “Not for you. It’s for the sake of my strength.”

Yoshino: “I could feel it somehow. But if that strength is what’s saving me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable not telling you.”

Kurama: “.......Will you persist in your complacency even after being taken as a prisoner? On the contrary, you are stubborn. It’s appalling.”

Kurama’s lips twisted in a somewhat venomous manner.

(He doesn’t seem to be offended.)

(....Even though, Kurama is still scary, he can get a bit out of tune with these things.)

At that time----

???: “KURAMA!”

Yoshino: “Hm?”

A large figure broke through the enemy enclosure at once, and leaped from his horse in front of us.”

Benkei: “What are you doing here?”

Rebel soldiers: “BENKEI-SAMA! BENKEI-SAMA IS HERE!!!”

The soldiers on this side noticed and burst into joy at once.

In the midst of it all, Benkei-san’s eyes caught mine and widened.

Benkei: “------Fox princess!?”

Kurama: “She’s my prisoner.”

Benkei: “........ We’ll talk more later.”

Benkei-san quickly let out his hesitation with a faint breath.

He then stood next to Kurama and held his red miscellaneous sword in a dignified manner.

Benkei: “Get your feet up, all of you! To reward you for holding on to hope, Kurama going to give you a wonderful tomorrow.”

------Part 5------

Benkei: “Get your feet up, all of you! To reward you for holding on to hope, Kurama going to give you a wonderful tomorrow.”

Rebel soldiers: “YAYYY!!!!”

As Benkei-san’s loud voice shook the battlefield, the soldiers shouted in happiness.

(Great momentum.....!)

Enemy soldier 8: “Damn, what are these people?”

Enemy soldier 9: “We still have the advantage in numbers, don’t be afraid!”

The enemy soldiers soon came at us with a massive force.

(So fast----)

Kurama: “Hey, why do I have to give them a reward?”

Benkei: “As they say...”

It was as if they knew each other’s movements, and in an instant, the enemy in front of them was wiped out.

Benkei: “They’ve seen how strong you are. It’s a small price to pay for a name and a figure that attracts attention and gives you hope for life.”

Kurama: “You’ve got some nerve, Benkei, selling me cheap.”

Kurama, frowning like the incarnation of a grump, cut down two new enemies.

Benkei-san knocked down another enemy who had jumped out of his blind spot.

(These two are talking while killing soldiers and are in perfect sync.)

Benkei: “Shut up, man. It’s okay, being thanked doesn’t make you any less of a person.”

Kurama: “Less.”

Benkei: “Huh? What?”

Kurama: “....I don’t understand you.”

(Kurama?)

After an unusually short silence, Benkei-san also glanced at Kurama as he fought.

Kurama: “I’ve never been able to eat anything that humans offer me because it’s too warm. If I had been grateful I would have been fed up with being fed.”

Benkei(smiling): “It’s a masterpiece that you, a picky eater, should be forced to eat something you don’t like.”

After knocking down the enemy with gusto, Benkei-san turned around and smiled wryly.

Benkei: “Well, I’ll have a bite.”

Kurama: “What?”

Benkei: “Thank you for coming all this way to save me, Kurama.”

(......!)

Kurama(glares): “I’ll cut your tongue off.”

Benkei: “It’s my choice to be grateful. If you don’t like it, I’ll give you cat food.”

Kurama: “...............I don’t like beasts that flatter me like cats. I’d rather....”

Benkei: “Have good sake and snacks?”

Kurama(smile): “You understand me well. Let’s quickly end this crappy battle and return to Hiraizumi in triumph.”

Chapter 8

[writingsofmyimagination]

Instinct |5|

Attack on Titan Fanfic

Levi x Reader 

Summary: An unwelcome(ish) blast from the Captain’s trainee days comes back to the Scouting Regiment and old habits die hard.

Instinct: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

Words:2803

Warnings: Swearing (Obvs), Smut - Orgasm denial, knife/cum play (Oh yeah I went there!).......Sub Levi.....Like Oooof!

This took me wayyyyy to long to finish. So i’m sorry! Thank you to everyone who has messaged at one point or another asking if there will be more chapters.

This was going be the last chapter...but I decided that i loved it too much. There will be more but there will just be a time jump to a much more recent arc. So if you wanna be tagged let me know :)

Huge shout out to @submissive-bangtan who not only inspired me to do a Sub as f**k Levi but also helped me out with a few ideas (knives and cleaning of certain fluids :P) when my Smut brain died for a while.... Thank you, you’re amazing and I purple the hell out of you!!!

Permanent tags: @spideyboiiiiiii @pjimochi @nefelimalfoy​  

Sooo enjoy:

“Hhhhhmmmm Cold” Levi hissed as you removed the ice filled packet from his ballooned ankle.

“Obviously”

It was a rare sight seeing Levi actually laying in his bed, you just wished it was under better circumstances. You’d done as much first aid as you could for him, his ankle had been iced and was now elevated comfortably under a few pillows.

The mission had for most purposes failed. Levi’s squad was slaughtered as well as countless others from the unit. The female titan had surprised everyone with a hardening ability everyone had yet to even comprehend; allowing her to escape. The corps nearly lost Eren, it was only thanks to Levi and Mikasa you didn’t. Mikasa disobeyed direct orders resulting in the subsequent injury of Levi. Things were not looking good for humanity. Faith In the corps had gone to lower depths than you’d thought possible; Eren’s custody was to be transferred tomorrow to the Interior police. Erwin had one last final plan; the option of failure for this non-existant.

“Don’t move!” you ordered

“I’ll be back with some tea” Levi responded with nothing but a huff but even Levi dare not move under the gaze you shot him before heading downstairs.

“How’s he doing?” Hanje asked

“As grumpy as you can expect” you responded placing the water jug over the flames. Hanje smiled weakly, even behind the bright glare of her glasses you could see the dim and tired dying out glow.

“I know everything looks bleak but even when we discover the smallest amount of knowledge about the titans it will help” she offered

“I know, just wish the squad would feel your optimism, but this plan has got to work tomorrow otherwise we’re fucked even you can’t deny that surely?”

“I try not to dwell on any other outcome than our victory tomorrow.”

//

“I thought I told you not to move?” Frowning at Levi who’d sat himself up, legs dangling over the bed. As petite as he was the tone on hi body was near ridiculous as was his physical strength. The underwear only teasing his thighs.

“You did, I’ve ignored you. It’s not bad, I heal fast” You placed the tea next to his bed, sighing with a shake of your head.

“This is why I … At least let me strap it first” You grabbed a bandage from the draw and plonked yourself next to him and shoved him on his back and cradled his leg over your thighs and began wrapping.

“I wish you’d just listen to me, just once” you confessed defeated as you got up sliding your shoes off near the door subsequently locking it. He did used to listen but only when he submitted in the bedroom, never in the field.

“I’m going to keep you off your feet for a little longer” You offered with finality to a Levi who already had his legs dangling over the bed ready to get up again. You hindered him from getting up any further pushing him back as he went to stand. He conceded, bratty pout slapped on his lips; he pulled himself up to resting his head against the pillow. Your legs clamped either side of his waist resting on the back of your calves trapping him where he lay. Even injured he was strong enough to put up a fight but he didn’t.

Wise choice! Plan successful!l

“Yeah?” he questioned, his lips curving up at either end wickedly; his hands rested and gripped at your behind. You naturally arched into him.

“Mmmhmm” your hands found solace brushing up his undercut from the side and tangling in his hair.

“I was thinking we could play a game, like we used to or have you forgotten how much you like it when I’m in charge?” you traced a finger from his neck in a delicate soft move to under his chin. He chased your finger meekly into a kiss, soft at first. His grip on your behind grew tighter. His lips rougher, dancing with yours. His eyes flashing back to the echo of training days, two cadets sneaking out to the training posts.

With enough motivation to stay where he lay you slid of the bed and scooped up his harness that was hung pristine and delicate on the back of the door.

“Take everything off and put this on, I’ll be back in a minute” The leather was removed from your hand with instant obedience.

You took ten minutes to return, you only needed three. The other seven were purely for his imagination to stew.

On your arrival back he’d done as you asked.

“Good Boy” His eyes bloomed. Those words. Coming from anyone else would easily have earned a broken jaw, but from you; they riled something at his very core. He would sin to the heavens for you just to hear those words roll off your tongue. The leather, ribboning round his skin. Beautiful as it tried to contain the muscle underneath.

You grabbed the chair, wrist swinging it in front you. Your head nodded to the chair

Sit!

He sat.

“Did you think I’d forget how my Levi likes to be treated?” Your fingers clasping together at the base of his neck, your chest almost to his, your hips angling into his groin; his palms already applying pressure at your hips.

“Did you think I’d forget every last dirty thing I can get you to do to me?” your words slipped into a whisper at his ear as smoothly as your lips enveloped his ear lobe. Adams apple bobbing a deep groan in his throat as your teeth pinched the skin and your hips rolled into him hard.

“You sound so beautiful when you moan for me” praise tickling awakes the triggers at the back of his mind. He was weak for it, but what really drove him when you were in charge was the need to please you; to drag every breath, moan and obscenity from your lips. When you demanded it of course. When he was yours, the ability and familiarity of following orders to a fault remained in tune with his Corps life.

“Wanna play?”

“Yes” You tugged at his hair.

“Yes, M’aa…m” You ground your hips against him again for a final time as he grew hard beneath you.

“I’ve just got to grab something from downstairs”

“Again?” he whined.

//

His hands were locked in yours, pinned above of his head. His wrists looking so pretty with rope weaved around them. He was unable to see the way your mouth had curled into a smile, laced with satisfaction. Thee make shift blindfold seeing to that. He’ll have a reason to smile every time that cravat is round his neck from now on. His eyes had blown out so beautifully when he saw what you’d brought from downstairs. His thighs were tinted red, small red squares. The way he hissed through his teeth as the riding crop struck. Your core hovered, aching for the pressure of his thigh centimetres below.

“If I don’t cum from your words while I’m riding your pretty thighs you’re going to say blind and tied and I’m going to ruin every orgasm that I allow”

“If you do” he countered.

“If I do… you’ll be able to see and touch me and when I’m finished with you I’ll let you make me cum once however YOU want. Does that sound good to you?”

You lowered onto his toned muscle. His agreeance of his reward was tainted by a sigh that melted into your ears like honey when your hips circled; spreading how much he affected you.

“I’ve hardly even started and yet feel how filthy your thigh is already, coated with me”

His body fidgeted; Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. The thought of getting dirty with you was too good. He wanted to feel your cum coat his thighs as you unwound above him and he wanted to SEE it.

“I’m waiting” You prompted. You wanted his words mixing with your hip movements. He’s was never much of a talker, so all them years ago you started doing these ‘games’ to get him to articulate what he enjoyed the most; and he was ridiculously good!

//

“I bet you wish it was my tongue in between your legs instead of my thigh don’t you?” Your fingers curled into his skin just above his chest, pressing more weight through your hands.

“Why don’t you tell me why…I should” you prompted through supressed moans as he tensed his quads beneath you. His hair falling off of his forehead as he rolled his head to the side, veins twitching frustrated in his neck.

“You love when my tongue glides through you, the way my teeth leave pretty little bruises on the inside of your thighs”

“Mmmm” you hummed in bliss rocking your hips.

“The long flicks of my tongue, the way you quiver and your leg tighten around my head”

Your hips circled in long drawn out ones, rushing to that high quicker than you thought you would.

“Your clit in my mouth, the way you arch your back when my fingers disappear into you. I love it when your fingers scratch down my back, marking me whispering how good you take my cock into your ear”

Your hips jolted along his tensed muscle, nails dragging down his chest

“Fuck” you hissed leg muscles dancing, clenching his thigh. A victorious smirk plastered across his face.

“Didn’t take you long were you that desperate?” You gripped his jaw harshly bringing his face to the centre, his lip partially pouting.

“Watch your mouth” you shoved his head to the side. He huffed, the regretful moan that followed when your hands clamped down around his weeping cock.

“You’re now going to suffer a bit longer for that cockiness” Your hands weaved through the harness tugging gently.

“But I’ll do as I said after”

//

“How’s that” you preened talking over the deep groan rolling around his throat as you lowered yourself down on him.

“Mmm tight…soo good” he whined. He had the audacity to roll his hips into you without permission.

“I don’t think so…” you half choked keeping your moan from him.

“You’re NOT going to move and you’re NOT going to cum are you?”

“No ma’am” Muscles twitched in his arm as the frustration was tugged onto the rope cocooning his wrists. You weren’t going to make it easy for him. The rhythms of your hips were something Levi confessed in being weak for; especially when he couldn’t control them. You could never get over how sexy it was when Levi’s bottom lip disappeared under his teeth, groans filtering through.

“…..”

You stifled yourself as you lent backwards grabbing your next play thing. His cock now pressed firm against the velvet patch inside you. Your fingers traced over some light lines on his chest, a subtle hint and memory triggering gesture.

Red trickled over tense pectorals, the stain spreading through the white linen. Hisses passed through pursed lips. Your hips circling torturous and slow clenching around him; his hips jutted up minutely as the glinting silver blade caressed over his skin. His head rolled back into the sheets; drunk on the sensation, goosebumps igniting a pathway where the red trickled down.

“Did you think I’d forget how much you love it when I make you bleed?”

“God I can feel your cock twitching; you love it when I mark you don’t you”

“Mmmhhmmm” he hummed, redirecting every ounce of energy he had to not fuck up into you. His cheeks secured in your hand fast.

“Excuse me?” you cued.

“Yes, fuck!” He whined.

“Does that sound like you want more?” You gave him a moment to retrieve a breath which you only stole clenching around him.

The knife edge balancing elegant over his collarbone. Obedient metallic soldier waiting for its command.

“More” he pleaded.

“Manners” Your hips had stilled waiting for the magic word. You detected slight exasperation amongst the breath of his whine of the sudden stopped motion.

“Please, god please don’t stop moving, you feel so good. Please mark me as yours, please”

“Much better” you praised, your hips resumed their light circles; your breath hitching when he reached the velvet goldmine at the front of you. Eliciting hisses from his lips, clenching and drawing neat lines soon to be littered with little pin pricks of red.

“So pretty” you cooed, hands ghosting down the centre of his chest; his muscles tensing at the contact.

The rope fell away from his skin, pretty rose pink lines now glazed on his wrists. His eyes flitting adjusting to the light finally landing between your thighs and his. Cum and arousal glistening off them. His arms had dropped above him resting on the squishy cotton of the pillow. His pupils fully blown out saturated with desperation.

“Can I move now?”

“Mmm yes, but you still can’t cum until I say” He didn’t need permission twice. He sat up, his freed hand supporting you at your lower back. Your own hands tightening together at the back of his neck; fingers gliding past the soft prickles of his undercut. The moment your back touched the mattress his head dived to the crevice of your neck allowing him to nudge your head to the side. Hot thirsty kisses decorating your neck, kisses becoming heavier across your clavicle. Fading red petals drifting away quickly. The kisses across your scarred side were longer, almost more sincere and compassionate. The warm comfort of oxytocin you brushed away pushing his head further down to where was really aching and pressing on your priority list. Humanities strongest weak for the treasure between your legs offered no resistance.

//

“Fuck…Stop!” you cried yanking his head up from your core, his chin glistening, cheeks tainted light pink from the heat.

“Just fuck me now” you whined. Moist plump lips made their way up your body. Your devilish eyes holding onto his with a vengeance.

Heavy breathed expletives diffused into the air. Levi’s low grunts getting deeper rapidly. His head already buried heating up your neck with nips and bites. Blossoming pink half crescents indenting on his back.

“You feel so fucking good” you managed in unison with the harsh juts of his hips.

“Fuck… I can’t” he struggled.

“After 3 and you can cum, you’ve been such a good boy” you purred. You were trying your hardest to control your muscles, hindering them from releasing the intoxicating waves.

“3”

“2”

“Ugh I can’t” he whined again. The desperation emitting through his struggling pants shoved you straight into a convulsing mess. He broke. Pulling out unable to hold just one more second. Spilling out over your stomach.

“That desperate you couldn’t even hold on one more second; and now you’ve made a mess” you were chasing your breathes, body basking in the aftershocks.

Exhausted pants fanned across your neck, low groans soaked in his throat.

“Mmm, I’m sorry” He whimpered. You dragged him into a suffocating kiss, his knee pressing against your soaked core causing sweet shudders.

“Seeing as you couldn’t control yourself you can clean your mess up” He nodded accepting his task, shifting upwards to leave the bed.

Oh no!

“With your tongue” you added holding his arm.

He made sure to scatter your breasts with wet prolonged kisses. The attention firing through your nerves like a flame spreading through gasoline. He smirked as his lips engrossed around your nipple which was already stood pining attention. His body shuffled down; eyes face to face with his mess. Your eyes never faltered, fixed on the all too intoxicating view of his tongue brushing against your skin, lapping up his own cum. A starving kitten getting all the cream.

“If only everyone else knew just how filthy you really are. The clean freak stops at the bedroom door” you shuffled under his mouth, already feeling that fuzzy feeling in between your legs pooling round your bundle of nerves.

“Nobody would believe you baby” he cooed in response creeping back up to nudge into the crevice of your neck; you could only hum in response.

“Enough now, let me go and get a towel and some water so I can clean you up” you offered glancing at the red smeared over his chest.

“Not yet”

“No?”

“If I know you and you know I do; you watching me clean up my own cum would have easily made you want to fuck again…so… I’d rather do that” Fingertips trickled down your body, dipping between your legs.

“Mmm see…your just as much of a slut as I am. Annnddd you said I could have you once exactly how I wanted”

“Well you know I’m a woman of my word”

[fictional-affliction]

Under Pressure, Chapter 7

Word Count: 2,015

Rating: M/E

Link to previous chapter: https://fictional-affliction.tumblr.com/post/187929692300/under-pressure-chapter-6

The dam had broken and Duncan and Courtney couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. For the past week, any time they could get alone was spent kissing which turned into touching which turned into sex. They couldn’t get enough of each other, which is how they found themselves in a school stairwell with Courtney’s back up against a wall.

“I can only be gone one more minute before it looks suspicious.” Courtney warned, out of breath from their make out session. She left English class under the guise of needing to use the bathroom. That alone was suspicious because she never left in the middle of a class, but Duncan had texted her wanting to meet up and she couldn’t say no. She hadn’t seen him since last night which felt entirely too long.

“We can do a lot in two minutes.” Duncan slipped his hands down her  back and squeezed her cheeks. Courtney tangled her hands in his hair and hitched a leg around his waist.

Sneaking around was easily the most fun she’d ever had. It wasn’t that they weren’t going to tell their friends and family eventually, they just wanted to keep it between themselves for now and away from prying eyes. Besides, the secrecy and danger of being caught was hot.

“Okay times up!” Courtney playfully pushed on his chest not really bothered that he didn’t move.

“Nope.” Duncan refused and kept kissing her. She was trapped between him and the wall and was too giddy from his kisses to make a better argument.

“Dunkyyyyy.” She drew out and pouted.

“You’re lucky you’re so damn cute.” He backed away but still loosely held his arms around her.

“Come over tonight?” As Courtney disengaged she kissed him on the cheek. He gave her a look that said that he obviously was going to sneak into her room like he did almost every night.

“Go back to class nerd.” She backed away with her tongue stuck out at him until he was no longer in sight.

Courtney was practically skipping down the hallway with how happy she was. She forced herself to slow down to a normal walk when she got back to English class. No one is that happy after using the bathroom.

Everyone was journaling independently when she returned which made it easy not to draw attention, but her professor stopped her before she made it back to her desk.

“See me after class.” Mrs. Smith told her ominously. The older woman didn’t give away any clue about what the reason could be. Usually when Courtney was asked to be seen after class it was for praise, or to see if she was interested in an essay writing competition. Her foot shook as she counted down the minutes until the bell rang and tried to convince herself that everything was fine.

A feeling a dread washed over her as she gathered her things and stood next to Mrs. Smith’s desk.

“You wanted to see me?” Courtney asked politely with all the optimism she could muster. The professor didn’t look up and flipped through her test booklets until she found Courtney’s. She flipped open the cover to reveal the number sixty-eight in the teachers handwriting. Courtney’s heart stopped.

“This is the grade that I should give you.” Mrs. Smith said sternly with disappointment, while pointing at the shameful mark. Then she closed the booklet and handed it to her.

“But seeing as you are one of my best students and it is out of character for you to  perform this poorly, I will let you rewrite the essay.” Courtney began to breathe again.

“I’m so sorry I let you down, thank you so much for the opportunity, I don’t know what went wrong-” She rambled on.

“The highest grade that I can give you is a B. It’s not fair to other students to give you a second chance.” Courtney nodded solemnly, accepting the stipulation. It was better than nothing. “Have it back to me by tomorrow morning.”

“I will, thank you, again.”

---

The work began to pile on after that and by the time she made it to last period Courtney had calculus, chemistry, and history homework to do tonight; in addition to her essay rewrite.

She was so on edge. Courtney spent her lunch period in the library to get a jump start on her homework and worked diligently, while ignoring an urge that had started building as soon as she had gotten her essay grade. Usually she could hold off at least until she got home to punish herself, but the urge kept nagging at her.

“Are you okay?” Courtney shook herself from her thoughts and turned to Trent. It was her last class of the day, orchestra, the class that she always looked forward to but now was too distracted to enjoy it.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Courtney insisted, pushing away his concern. She loosened her grip on the violin string she had been tightening and gave him her full attention. “What were you saying?”

“The campaign? You still want to run together as President and VP, right?” Trent asked. Shit, how could she completely forget that it was time to run again? The thought of all the posters, pins, and the speech she had to work on, crashed down on her. She faked a smile.

“Of course! I’ll send you some ideas later.” Trent have her a strange look. “You better get to band before class starts!” She said in a too chipper voice.

The band and orchestra rooms were next to each other so Trent would pop over sometimes to talk. From the look on his face he didn’t buy her brushing him off.  

“You know if you ever need anything-”

“Got it!” She cut him off. He sighed, knowing that there was something she wasn’t telling him, but left for his class.

“Let’s go from the top of the new piece.” Courtney’s orchestra teacher instructed and they readied their instruments. Courtney placed her bow against the strings. When in doubt, her violin was her saving grace. Music was something that came so naturally to her, and she could get lost in playing. This is what she needed.

Halfway through the piece she still had yet to relax. The tension in her neck traveled to her shoulders, down her arms and to her hands. She closed her eyes since she already knew the notes, and tried to breathe evenly. Her brows furrowed when she kept failing to get control of herself, unconsciously pushing harder and harder on the violin’s strings. Just as her frustration hit its peak one of her violin strings snapped and hit her across her cheek.

The orchestra teacher stopped conducting, causing a discordant sound before the instruments stopped playing.

“Sorry, I think I tuned it too tightly.” Courtney admitted, slightly embarrassed. It had been a long time since she had a string break.  She took such pride in keeping her violin in tip top condition.

“Courtney are you all right?” Her teacher looked on with concern for his first chair violinist.

“I’m fine, I have an extra string in my case.”

“You’re bleeding.” Courtney raised her hand to her face and when she pulled it back there was red smeared on her fingers.

“Please go to the nurse and have it looked at.” Begrudgingly Courtney left the classroom but didn’t turn down the correct hallway that lead to the nurse’s office. Instead she entered a bathroom to assess the damage herself.

Her reflection wasn’t much different than normal, sans a thin slice that indicated had it been an inch higher, the string would have hit her in the eye. Courtney wet a paper towel to clean away the blood and dapped at the cut.

She flinched at the sting of an open wound, but held up the compress again.

Slowly she pressed against the cut once more, and added more pressure. Her teeth grit at the pain but she didn’t let up. When she couldn’t take it anymore she pulled away and caught her breath. As she inspected the cut in the mirror again, a sense of relief washed over her. The release the pain gave was almost euphoric. The urge that had been nagging her all day, satiated.

---

Duncan shifted and pulled a notebook from under his back where it was digging in, then shifted again to push away the markers that were on Courtney’s bed.

“Campaign ideas.” Courtney explained while pulling down his pants. She worked non stop since she got home from school and when Duncan showed up around ten o’clock she was begging for a break and to blow off steam.

“How are you gonna convince me to vote for you?” Duncan dropped smug grin as Courtney’s mouth hovered over his hard cock.

“I have some really persuasive tactics...” her breath teased him  “and I think you’ll like my approach to handling hard topics.” She held her position, her mouth barely touching the tip.

“You’ve got my vote.” Courtney smiled seductively and gave him the relief he was aching for.

Later, Duncan had his arms around her back as she straddled his hips as they basked in the afterglow. Courtney being on top was proving to be one of Duncan’s favorite positions. She was so sexy when she took control and he loved being able to have his hands free to roam over her body and take in how gorgeous she was.

“I have to work on my essay, but you can sleepover...” Courtney kissed his forehead.

“Stay with me.

“I can’t.” She grumbled and rolled off of him before she changed her mind. She put on his discarded shirt.

“You look good in my clothes.” This part of their relationship was still new, so when Duncan said things like that to her she had to kiss him for being sweet.

“I think so too.”

--- The light tap on her door startled Courtney. She was putting the final touches on her essay and was completely in the zone that she jumped at the noise. At first she panicked because she thought maybe one of her parents had come to check on her. She would be in an unfathomable amount of trouble. Not only was she up at two am on a school night, but a very naked Duncan was asleep in her bed. They weren’t exactly his biggest fans.

Instant relief washed over her when the tapping started again and she realized it was coming from the door to the conjoining bathroom. Courtney crossed the distance and opened the door just a crack.

“What are you doing awake?” She was more harsh with Cate than necessary, but the lack of sleep was weighing on her.

“I saw the light on under your door...besides, you guys aren’t as quiet as you think you are.” Courtney’s eyes widened at Cate and she tried to recover quickly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Cate didn’t buy it and pushed the door open wider to reveal Duncan asleep in Courtney’s bed, the sheets arranged on his waist to hide anything explicit.

“Mom and Dad would kill you if they knew he was here.”

“They aren’t going to find out.” Courtney threatened and stared her down. Cate sighed and crossed her arms.

“I’m not going to tell them.”

“Great. Now go to bed.” Courtney started to close the door.

“Wait-”

“What?” Courtney hissed. Cate face started to break into a grin.

“Duncan and Courtney sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-” Courtney closed the door in her face, promptly cutting her off, and locked it.

Feeling that her essay was sufficient, she printed it off, her eyeballs burning. Then she climbed in bed on top of Duncan and snuggled into his chest. He always cuddled back into her instantaneously, surrounding her in his embrace.

As Courtney drifted off to sleep she planned out the rest of her week. She could do this, she could balance it all. She might never sleep again though.

[otonymous]

Served (MLQC Victor) - Chapter 2: In Your Capable Hands

Description: Part 2 of Served (how descriptive of me, I know LOL) Warnings: N/A Word Count: 1149 words (~6 mins of fluff and anticipation) AO3: read here Author’s Notes:  Hope you all enjoy chapter 2 of the slowest burn I’ve ever written so far.  Don’t worry, we will all eventually go out with a giant BANG in the end (pun intended 😂).

Jump to other chapters: Chapter 1| Chapter 3| Chapter 4| Chapter 5

All characters & Mr Love: Queen’s Choice owned by Elex

“Can I touch you?”

You were surprised when the LFG CEO asked.  Men like him usually reached out and took what they wanted, caring not a whit for what others thought.

That was the way of the world of expensive suits and even more expensive watches.  

But Victor’s voice was so soft, deep tones rumbling in the base of his throat like thunder approaching from miles away.  And your mind struggled to pin down the exact moment at which lightning struck.

Was it the point when he knelt before you, one large hand cradling the back of your heel as the other slipped the stiletto with its broken strap off your foot?  Or was it the moment when you spied the hesitation in his eyes as he looked away, giving you privacy to lift your skirt and unclip the torn stocking from its garter, grimacing as you rolled it past your scraped knee?

You refused to entertain any other options for fear of withering away from embarrassment.  It was bad enough that Victor was present when you face-planted on the concrete steps leading up to the LFG Tower.  It was worse that you had been asking him about the source of the mysterious laughter in the background of your phone conversation from two nights ago when you missed the top of the next step.

In a flash, Victor had you cradled in both arms, and you became hyperaware of the bulge of his biceps beneath his charcoal grey suit.  Goldman gasped so loudly you immediately looked over to see shock plastered on his face, the glasses almost sliding off the bridge of his nose.  Your cheeks warmed.

“Thank you, Victor.  I’m okay now, you can put me down.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.  You just proved you’re not even capable of walking and talking at the same time.”

Did the man just smirk?

“Seriously, I’m a grown woman — I can take care of myself.  Now can you please, please, put me down.  If not for my own reputation, I have that of my company to consider.”

“She’s right, Mr Li.  The tabloids will have a field day if they even so much as catch a whiff of a woman walking by your side.  There’s no telling what tomorrow’s headlines will read if they have photos of you carrying her!”  Goldman interjected, sweat already starting to bead on furrowed brows.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Victor finally relented, his chest pressing subtly against your body to send heat rushing through your veins. And when your feet finally touched ground before the revolving doors, he bent to whisper in your ear — so close the brush of his breath was almost obscene:

“At least let me take care of that scrape.”

So it was that you found yourself in Victor’s office, Loveland City’s most eligible bachelor looking up into your eyes from where he knelt at your feet, one large hand securing the back of your scraped knee as the other pinched an alcohol swab between forefinger and thumb.

“Can I touch you now?”  Victor repeats, louder this time to draw you from your thoughts.  You nod, trying to ignore the disconcertion you felt when your heart skipped a beat at the sight of his face softening with relief.

What is wrong with you?  This is Victor, for god’s sake — Victor!  The man who makes you flinch with a single glare!

“Good.  For a moment there, I thought you’d start complaining like a child about how this will sting—“

“Ow!”  

Hand immediately drawing back, Victor studies you with wide eyes, looking like he accidentally stepped on a puppy’s paw.  “Sorry.  I’ll try to be gentler.”

Once more, he sweeps the moist swab over your abrasion.  This time, however, the sharp edge of its sting is made considerably duller by his warm breath blowing softly over your skinned knee.  And when he tilts his head just so, angling his face towards yours to ask, “Does this feel ok?”, the sight so erotic all you can manage is a nod.

“My mother.”  Victor’s deep voice cuts through your haze of lust like a splash of cold water.

“Pardon me?”  

“In response to your question from earlier — the one you were asking before you bit the pavement — it was my mother laughing in the background.  Well, an old home video of her.  She…she passed away some time ago.”

His words hang in the air like incense, slow to dissipate as they infuse the space between you and him with the solemnity of a secret shared.

Keeping his gaze fixed on your knee, Victor’s face betrayed not an ounce of emotion as he aligned a bandage with your wound.  Tenderness welled up from the pit of your stomach.  The lump in your throat made it difficult to find the right words to say.

“I’m so sorry, Victor.  I had no idea.”

“Hm.  You seem to be apologizing a lot these days.”  

A smile, tiny though it was, transformed his face, and you found yourself looking at the modern chandelier suspended from the ceiling, the detailing of the leather chair you were seated on, the sheen of your nail polish…anywhere but at that handsome expression.  

“Ahem.  I suppose I have.”

“Talk is cheap though.  Don’t you agree?”

“So what do you propose?”

“Show me proof of your sincerity.”  Your knee cradled between his hands —  large and warm — Victor gently smoothes down the edge of the bandage, thumbs running between the border of adhesive and your skin as he meets your eyes: “Have dinner with me.”

Thump.  Thump.  Thump.  Your heart beat so loudly within the cage of your chest, you wondered if Victor could hear it too.

“Aren’t you afraid of the crazy headlines the reporters will fabricate if they catch you in my company?”

Drawing himself up to full height once again, Victor stands imposing before you, eyes sharp and fearless as he speaks:

“Let me worry about that.  Now, show me the changes you’ve made to the proposal.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more!  Check out more of my work here! 📚

[dailyaudiobible]

10/13/2020 DAB Transcripts

Jeremiah 22:1-23:20, 2 Thessalonians 1:1-12, Psalms 83:1-18, Proverbs 25:11-14

Today is the 13th day of October, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it’s great to be here with you for another day has we step into the Scriptures and out of whatever else is going on and just, come into the oasis that we create for ourselves that we call the Global Campfire. We just, yeah, come in and let God speak and it's amazing what He does in transforming the way we’re looking at the day and the circumstances that are facing us and re-orients us to His…His guidance and His love and compassion and leadership in our lives. So, let's dive in. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. Jeremiah chapter 22 verse 1 through 23 verse 20.

Introduction to second Thessalonians:

Okay. So, yesterday we concluded First Thessalonians, Paul's letter…first letter to the church in Thessalonica, also strongly believed by scholars to be the earliest Christian document in existence and the earliest of Paul's letters. But now we’ve turned the page and here we are at the threshold of another letter and this one is also to the church in Thessalonica called Second Thessalonians. And we can remember from the letter but also from talking about First Thessalonians that this is a church that was formed quickly and was continually pressed in upon by persecution and marginalization. And really the church was never like, was never not shoved to the side, was never not persecuted. So, these people are like early believers in Jesus young in their faith facing persecution, which brings up eventually a lot of questions like, does this ever get easier? Like, what's going on here? You said that Jesus was coming back. What do we do? And, so, Paul writes this second letter to the church in Thessalonica. And this is one of the letters that would be considered more…more disputed as far as did Paul write this or did someone write this in Paul's name. There’s some theological nuances that are more developed. There's just little things that get looked. But we could say many scholars also would say, no, Paul wrote this. Even the earliest church fathers quoted from second Thessalonians. So, likely if this is written by Paul it…it came…it came pretty quickly after the first letter. He is clarifying things that he wrote about before and broadening them and he's like correcting specific assumptions. Basically you have to know…I mean we’ve talked about this before, but these early letters that are being passed around at the churches are coming from the perspective that Jesus return, like this is an eminent, very, very, like immediate…there's no time to do anything else but focus upon this, that Jesus is coming back. That’s the kind of context that they’re in. So, in Thessalonica because the people are being marginalized and persecuted there are some that are like, “well, I'm quitin’ my job. Like…like Jesus is already on the white horse. He just hasn't got to earth yet. Like this is happening now and things are just heating up all around us. So, this is an imminent thing. We don't have time to think about getting married and stuff. So, I don't really have time to think about working either because it’s only like…it’s only bringing me persecution and…and hardship and trouble. So, I’m not gonna…I’m not gonna work. I’m just goona wait for Jesus.” And we’ve seen…I mean…that’s…this isn’t the only time this has ever happened. This kind of stuff has actually happened in our own lifetimes where people believe the return of Christ is imminent. It's…you know…everything has lined up and here we go. And, so, people quit their jobs, take extravagant vacations, sell their houses, do all kinds of stuff, wait for the day and then the day…the day comes and…and then they gotta figure it out and start over again. Paul's kind of addressing this because as people were waiting, they were just idle, and idleness usually doesn't lead to positivity. Like it usually leads to like meddling and getting in other people's business and having opinions that you don’t have any right to have and having running commentary on topics that have nothing to do with you. And, so, this is kinda getting in. And, so, Paul ends up telling the church family there that, “you know, if you’re not gonna work then just, you know, you’re not gonna just leech off everybody else who does. Like, you gotta…you gotta work if you…if you want to eat.” And there are other things that Paul wants to address. And it's not just like a corrective letter, like, “let me set the record straight on some of these things.” These people, this church happened so quickly and under such pressure, that they hold a special place in Paul's heart. And you can imagine that people who are waiting for Jesus and being faithful and loyal to the cause of Christ and to the message of the gospel but who are just getting pummeled by society, they need a voice of encouragement like continually because they’re…they’re under fire continually. And Paul's tells them, “I see you”, basically, “your endurance, you're not doing this is under a cover. Like, I see you. This isn’t being overlooked. Everybody sees this. Everybody sees what you're doing, that you're being faithful. And as you are faithful and endure, you’re being made worthy of the kingdom of God. And in the end, although you are experiencing injustice in the end, justice will prevail. And, so, we begin. Second Thessalonians chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for another day. This is a continual prayer. We’re always grateful for another day but we are grateful for the way that Your word comes into our lives and it becomes a part of the fabric of the days that we live and Your Holy Spirit brings to mind things when we need them. Sometimes we don't heed those things and then we have Your word to kind of show us where those pathways lead. And it’s not surprising. Yet, we have Your comfort that You always come for us wherever we are, that wisdom is always there leading us the way back. We are so grateful and as we continue to move forward through the letters of Paul, we ask Your Holy Spirit to ignite in us the joy of our salvation and the understanding of endurance. We pray this in the mighty name of Jesus our Savior. Amen.

Announcements:

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB family this is Carma in Fort Wayne Indiana. On October 6th Joyful Jay in the Everglades called and talked about how hard it is to pick up the heavy hairy phone. I knew the Holy Spirit was indeed talking to me as God has been prompting me to call for quite some time. And yet the enemy has been feeding me lies that my problems are not that big of a deal. Besides I’m blessed with some great friends who faithfully pray for me. So, Satan led me to believe that I don’t need others to pray too. But I am part of this DAB family and have listened every single day since September 2017 after a tragedy in my life. And when one part of the body hurts, we all hurt. So, today I’m asking you to pray for my family and me. For 19 months we have been living in crisis mode. My sister’s family was completely torn apart by infidelity, lies, greed, drugs, and the list goes on. She had a beautiful family by all outward appearances, but it was completely destroyed. Now her four children live in four different places and my mom and I are blessed to have the youngest was 13 years old living with us. I’ve always longed to be a mom myself but it’s quite a challenge to suddenly become the parent of a teenager who has been through so much trauma. I need your prayers family. I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back and it is just so emotionally exhausting. In addition, I recently resigned my job which had become a poor fit for my skills. So, I’m job searching too which is also emotionally taxing. I want my life to exude joy in the midst of so much hard, but I need the Holy Spirit and the faithful prayers of others to do it. Thanks for praying. It is a joy to be on this journey together.

Hello, my name is Lydia and I like listening to the Daily Audio Bible Kid’s radio. I’m from Georgia and I would ask that…ask you would pray for me for my cold and for my daddy since he’s going to Louisiana to help build the hurricane and for mama and I in that we would be comforted. Thank you.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Jane Ruth from Nebraska. And, you know, I came face-to-face with reality today. I realized that the reason why I have been unwilling to talk and ask for prayer is because I am so proud. I don’t want to admit that I am 62 ½ years old and I’ve never been married, and I don’t have any children, and I want a partner. I want to be married. And the reason I don’t want to admit this, is because all of my history is based on that. Why are you not married? And why don’t you have children? And if I tell why it brings the whole story of where I’ve been and what’s happened and if I stay in the problem, I can’t live this way. If I live in the solution, I can’t live alone because I cannot support my story without a firm foundation in Christ. So, I need help.

Hello, my dear Daily Audio Bible family this is Maria the Missionary in Mexico. I want to give a shout out specifically to Cheryl from Ontario Canada. Thank you so much, what a blessing and an encouragement. I called in with an update about my coworker Barb and you said you were praying for her and for us as well. Well that just couldn’t come at a more timely moment. We are thriving in Jesus. We love Mexico, we love our ministry here. So much to love but I’d be dishonest to say that it’s just been a breeze and that lately we haven’t been having a bit of stress. Of course, Covid has added to it because my husband’s not only a missionary pilot down here, he’s also part of the contingency team which as you can imagine with Covid has a lot more to do. So, he’s very busy in that ministry. And then just because of random and unforeseen circumstances none of our other coworker pilots in all of the country are here at the moment or can fly. They have their medical things going on or medical that their spouse has, and they have to leave or paperwork stuff. So, it’s just kind of interesting and obviously my husband has had tons to do. Also, when he was on a trip, a commercial flight, he picked up what looks to be Covid now because the people that caught it from him on that trip, they tested positive Covid. He thankfully is getting over that fine. Our kids all started getting sick and they seem to be fine. I can feel some stuff in my lungs happening. So, I really appreciate your prayers. Barb our coworker, her tumor in behind her ear, in her air canal is too large for the Gamma knife so we’re just praying that God directs her to the right surgeon. Anyway, thank you all. I love you and I will update you as I know more. God bless.

Hey, my wonderful DAB fam this is Kingdom Seeker Daniel and fam I want to pray for just a couple DABbers. So, would you please be so kind to join me. Let’s look to the Lord. Father, we thank You and we praise You for who You are. You are the God of another chance. And Lord You…You designed marriage. And, so, God we pray that You would be the restorer of Dimitri from Oregon’s marriage Lord as his wife has filed for divorce. But he does not want to divorce. And, so, the court the court date is set for November 4th. God, we ask that You would manifest Your will in this situation. Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy but God, Jesus came that we might have life. And I pray that Dimitri and his wife would experience that life being given back to this marriage in the name of Jesus. Will You cause life to be revived through this marriage? Touch that wife’s heart and mind. You know where she is and what’s standing in the way. I plead Your precious blood over…over Dimitri and I pray God that You would turn this marriage around to the glory of Your great name. In Jesus’ name. And then remember Candace from Oregon’s sons, specifically Micah who’s going through a difficult time. Lord I pray that You would save all of the…the boys God but specifically do a work and Micha’s heart. I pray that You would comfort Candace’s heart and let her know that You are at work concerning her sons in the name of Jesus. We thank You and we praise You for the restoration, for the healing, for the deliverance and the breakthrough coming to Candace’s home and boys in Jesus’ name.

Hi there DAB family this is Sean Sean of the mountains calling in from Fayetteville Arkansas and I’m calling in response to Sonia from Austin Texas who called or I at least heard her on October 9th and she was talking about her father who had committed suicide and I just want to pray for her and for others who may have been dealing with the suicide of a family member. My brother, my only sibling took his life four years ago and it was just really a shock and really devastating and I mean I and my family members have walked through that in these past four years and we’re coming to some good places and the Lord has met us very sweetly. So, I’d like to pray. Dear Jesus we are so grateful and thank You that You have walked through suffering, that You are acquainted with deepest grief, that You…You put our tears in a bottle and You bring new life to us, You bring what’s needed. I pray for those who are walking through this, who may be walking through this thing recently. Lord would You just meet them in their deepest need. Help them to grieve well and to be able to remember their loved ones in good ways and not just the suicide. And we put all these things in Your hands in Jesus’ name. Amen.

[bonnieisaway]

lost my discretion

cough ow this is really bad but here’s chp 4 to my shit saiki k x reader

tw for mentions of kidnapping

chapter two | chapter three | wattpad link

"S-Saiki..?" (L/n) asks, shakily as she sits on the ground behind the boy. He had suddenly appeared out of thin air, separating the girl and the body in front of Saiki. "Wh-wha...h-how did you..?"

He had teleported, obviously, but the weeping girl behind him didn't necessarily understand. Saiki cursed himself under his breath. There wasn't any way to get out of this one.

Saiki sighed in frustration. It was a simple Saturday morning, but something was annoying. He had had the same stupid prophetic dream and headache ever since the night where (L/n) had walked him home. It was weird, and why he had been assuming his powers were off lately, because usually there was't that much of a gap between when his dreams happened and, well, when it actually happened. The volcano- as much as he hated to think about it- didn't count really, it was only so long ago because he had rewound the Earth fuck knows how many times.

The answer was 6. But, we don't talk about that.

He had no choice but to shake it off as his mother called him down for breakfast. Walking down the stairs he tried his best to clear his mind, sitting at the table and ignoring the idle chatter his mother and father started.

(L/n) was a strange girl. Everything about her seemed contradictory. She was average, yet unique in a way that seemed to keep Saiki guessing, somehow- it felt like there were parts of her unknown. Which was odd, since, he could literally read her mind. Hell, even from where he sat now, if he tried hard enough he could hear her thoughts.

Or, well, dreams. She liked to sleep in.

Regardless, that wasn't all. She carried herself as if she was nothing special- and even then acknowledged by some very wrong people as such- but she was talented and beautiful. An average girl who was unique. Part of Saiki supposed everyone was like that, really. Another part of him supposed there was something different. Other than that that hid within her that he was curious of.

Very rarely was Saiki curious. Very rarely did people manage to hide things from Saiki Kusuo.

Of course, there were things like Nendo, and bugs, that were completely unreadable. But you were complex. He heard your thoughts, yes, but you never turned to stone without his glasses and his x-ray vision never worked on you. It was, well, confusing. Emotions that Saiki didn't necessarily understand.

"Ku, are you alright? You haven't touched your food..." Saiki's mother, Kurumi, fretted.

Saiki blinked for a second. He had zoned out. "Yes... I'm fine.." He sighs, finally picking up his spoon and digging into his coffee jelly. Who needed anything else? Coffee jelly makes all your problems go away.

What? Don't look at him like that. You're reading an x reader fanfiction. He can use coffee jelly as a stress coping mechanism all he wants.

Kurumi looks at his doubtfully before sighing. 'I really do hope he's okay..' Her thoughts echoed. Saiki sighed, finishing his food and excusing himself from the table, walking back up to his room.

He figured he'd read a book. Play that one game he never finished. Something enjoyable. he doesn't want to waste a perfectly fine Saturday fretting about nothing.

°·.¸.·°¯°·.,.·°¯°·.¸.°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.

As you woke up slowly, you heard your phone vibrate on the stand next to your bed. You sighed. Who wanted what this early in the morning..? You rubbed your eyes with one hand and grabbed the phone with the other.

Oh. It's 1pm. It's not that early. You just really, really like sleep. You unlock your phone, which is an unholy level of bright, to find a text from an unfamiliar number

???

Heey! I got your number from Chiopipi.

...Who, got it from Teryukoko.. ehhe..

(Y/n)

..uh.. who's this??

???

Oh, sorry! It's Aiura Mikoto.

I'm in ur class?? lol

(Y/n)

oh! you're the gyaru with the crystal ball right??

Aiura Mikoto

That's me! haha

Teryukoko was planning to have all us girls hang at her house tmrw

Her brother's gonna be out of town and her parents are off on some business trip

So it's just us

You in???

(Y/n)

..yeah sure why not

Aiura Mikoto

Lit!!! I'll text you the details tmrw

Read, 1:32pm

.

You set your phone down on your bedside table again and sighed. Well, that was your plans for tomorrow. But you had absolutely nothing to do today. You eyed your bag in the corner of the room.

Nope. Absolutely nothing. Nada. None.

You swung your legs over your bed and sat up, head dizzying and vision blurring momentarily from the swiftness of the motion. You sighed, standing and walking off..you had to take care of yourself, for once. Get dressed, brush your hair, your teeth, blah blah... you get the point.

The day goes by slowly, a steady day of jamming to your tunes and doing work. And totally not watching Netflix. Nope. But eventually the steadily changing light of the sun setting begins to noticeably change the lighting of your living room until the sun is still barely left straddling the horizon.

You stare out the window until you turn, grabbing your shoes and hoodie, slipping them on and grabbing your keys and phone as you leave your apartment, locking it behind you. You weren't sure why.. but something told you to go outside. Take a walk. Vibe in the loneliness of the playground. You'd be fine, I mean, Japan has an awfully low crime rate, doesn't it?

Yeah.. It does.. you remember your mother hovering over your shoulder as you researched the country while still in America. Your father nonchalant about the decision but inside he cared. A lot. His baby would move across the world. Your sister, jealous but proud. You were always the smarter of the two. She was an adrenaline junkie who valued smarts last.

Walking along the empty and quiet streets oddly reminded you of her. She was a type of girl who would run down these streets screaming for some demon to come eat her ass while you laughed in disappointment behind her. Sometimes, if you close your eyes hard enough..

Sometimes you could see her running.  

Sometimes, when you closed your eyes, you saw the day you lost them instead. It's hard to shake.. your bruised and broken sister holding your hand in a hospital bed as heart dropped and the doctors came in like a SWAT team.

It was really hard to shake that thought away from your head.

You had lost your family a while ago now. Just before you started your first year at PK Academy. See, the original plan was you were going to study at PK and live in Japan while your family in America dealt with most expenses. When they died, there was a new plan offered, mainly out of sympathy. Your living situation was paid by the school as you attended. As long as you kept your grades high, they would pay. Once you were out of PK Academy, then you're on your own.

You shook the thought from your head- or at least tried- as you arrived at your destination, the playground. You kicked rocks littered around under the light of the light post that's near.  You're not really sure why you came here. Nostalgia? Wanting to vibe? Bored? Who knew.

It's when you're staring up at the cloudy night sky you feel a tight grip on your wrist, causing you to nearly scream before snapping around. It's a man, obviously older than you, accompanied by his friend, grinning happily.

"Hey, you lost, girlie?" He asks, curiously. You shake your head furiously, mind racing. You did not want to die. Nor get kidnapped. Or anything else like that. "What are you doing out here all alone? It's late, you know."

You don't respond. His grip tightens, and you know it's going to leave a mark. "Let me go."

"You didn't answer my question." His face falls. His buddy behind him pulls up his hood, obscuring his already shadowy face. You feel yourself tremble, and when you look down, you see your fingers shaking like an earthquake tremor.

"I don't have to." You argue, tugging against his grip. "Let me go." You keep a stern face but you're panicking. You want to scream. Cry. You tell yourself you're stronger than this- hell, you work out with fucking Hairo sometimes, of all people, and everything is telling you to knee this man straight where the sun doesn't shine and run away but the fear has you rooted still.

There's a second, where he's going to say something back, and you feel him start to raise your arm up so he can tug you closer, but it stops when a certain force appears suddenly between you and the man, plus his friend, knocking you away and promptly letting you fall on your ass. Ouchie.  

You stare up at the object and when you recognize the stature, the bright pink hair, and weird hairpins, you realize it's Saiki. "S-Saiki..?" You ask, staring up at him.  "Wh-wha...h-how did you..?"

He turns his head back towards the two men, both as shocked as you are. "Close your eyes." He tells you, and you can't tell if it's soft or stern. A wavering mix of both. You listen to him, and when you're given the signal to open them, both men are gone.

"Whe-"

"Don't ask." He spins his body to you and holds out a hand. You shakily take it, and he pulls you to your feet effortlessly. You're shaking so much you can't help but fall forwards to his chest and he lets you, letting you rest for a second.

"..Thank you.." You mutter.

°·.¸.·°¯°·.,.·°¯°·.¸.°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.

You sat on the swing, swinging your legs quietly. Saiki had pulled you out of his chest and when he was going to say something you asked that he didn't- that he just stayed with you here. You knew it was nonsensical, asking to stay, but you felt safer when he was with you all of a sudden. Your phone lay under your feet softly playing music and Saiki sat on the swing next to you. It was quiet- a kind of quiet where you couldn't decipher comfort or a still, awkward feeling.

You hesitate, briefly. "How did you...?" The question drifts, before you clear your throat, trying again. "How did you just appear out of nowhere?"

Saiki doesn't respond. He sat still as a statue on his swing, compared to yours, drifting back and fourth slowly, the occasional creek of the swing an undecipherable melody. It's a minute before you speak again.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to." You look away from him and kick your feet at the ground. "..How did you know to come?"

A moment of hesitation follows, before all you hear is a quiet "precognition." It's not part of an unheard sentence, and he won't add anything more, you can tell- it's all he's willing to momentarily share. You accept the answer, humming along to your phone- quietly letting unfamiliar songs drift from the phone. He stands, suddenly, the chain of the swing jingling as the weight leaves.

"I'll take you home." He says, offering a hand. "It's late."

"It can't be.. that late." You look up at him.

"It's 2am." He argues. You sigh and hang your head, muttering an apology as you pick up your phone.

You place your hand in his, and this time it feels different. Tender and understanding, but somewhere you know he's upset that you nearly got yourself killed. You blink, and you're in your apartment, with a nauseating feeling. What the fu-

"Goodnight, (L/n)."

You hesitate. "..'night, Saiki."

He dissapears.

For a fleeting moment, your day feels like a blurry dream- you stare at your hand, steadily counting a precise 5 fingers. You're awake. You're tired, and crave your bed, but you're awake.

The pitter-patter of your feet is all you hear in your quiet apartment before you kick closed the door to your bedroom. It was late now, and if you'd ever fall asleep was a gamble.

°·.¸.·°¯°·.,.·°¯°·.¸.°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.

[unfolded73]

How Do We Get Back (13/16) - schitt’s creek ff

Summary: In a literal alternate universe where the Roses escaped financial ruin, David and Patrick struggle with loneliness and a sense that something isn’t right. A chance meeting in New York and a terrible tragedy drive them to question whether the timeline they are on is the right one.

This chapter is explicit, 4k words.  (ao3)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

_____________________________________

Chapter 13

Patrick was drifting, halfway between sleep and wakefulness, thinking about the nature of orgasms.

For a long time there had been two kinds of orgasms that he had first-hand experience with. There was the masturbatory kind, which he took care of in a perfunctory, utilitarian way when he felt like the needs of his body were distracting him from something more important, like schoolwork or practicing the guitar or a good night’s sleep. Quick and harsh, a tight fist and hand lotion and his brain carefully blank while he was doing it, just an efficient, neural shortcut to a little burst of pleasure, then a quick cleanup and it was back to whatever he’d been doing before.

Then there were orgasms from sex, where quick and harsh wouldn’t cut it, but where again he shied away from thinking too much about what he was actually doing. It felt like a job, being skilled enough at sex that his partner wouldn’t have any complaints. And he was happy that he could please another person, he was, but it left little room for the work his brain needed to do in order to find that neural shortcut. A lot of the time, he never got there. When he did, it was underwhelming, to say the least.

If those experiences were like weakly flickering light bulbs, then being with David was like a supernova.

Patrick did things for David, touched him and sucked him and fucked him, not because of an obligation to be competent at sex but because he wanted to. No, want was too small a word for what he felt — he was starving, he was aching to do those things for David. And orgasming with David didn’t take effort; it was inevitable — it was simply impossible not to be swept along to that heart-stopping conclusion, so intense sometimes that he felt like he barely stayed conscious.

“What are you grinning about?”

Patrick slowly opened his eyes and looked over at David. “I thought you were asleep.”

“Nope.”

“I was thinking about orgasms, if you must know.”

David hummed in a way that said, Oooh, I’m intrigued, tell me more.

“Also I was thinking that as much I’ve enjoyed this weekend of hardly leaving the bed, I do have to go to work tomorrow. Will you be okay on your own for the day?”

Looking offended, David said, “I’m not a child.”

“No, of course you aren’t. But I don’t know if being alone is necessarily the best thing for you right now.”

“I’ll read a book. Or maybe, I don’t know, take a walk.” Patrick raised an eyebrow; David going for a walk without a destination in mind seemed a bit out of character, but there were likely hidden depths of David’s character that Patrick hadn’t seen yet. He was excited to learn them all, every facet of David’s personality, every quirk and annoying habit.

Whoa, slow down, he thought to himself. Just because David had chosen to lean on him in this time of mourning, it didn’t mean he was thinking in terms of a long-term relationship. Just because they’d spent most of the last two days in Patrick’s bed, learning each other’s bodies, didn’t mean David was falling in love with him. For the first time, Patrick realized how in danger his heart really was. And that perhaps it was too late to do anything about it.

“What’s wrong?” David asked.

Realizing his face was betraying his thoughts, Patrick relaxed his features. “A walk sounds like a good idea.”

~*~

“This place is cute,” David said, the grimace on his face saying he thought it was anything but.

Patrick looked at the local bar through David’s eyes: televisions tuned to a variety of sporting events, signed hockey jerseys mounted on the walls, wide-board wooden floor and tables with decades of initials carved into them.

Giving him two firm claps on the back (“You’ve got such straight boy body language,” David had once said), Patrick grinned at him. “Come on, I promise you’ll have a good time.”

Dennis had invited them out, having no doubt heard through his parents or perhaps just through the town rumor mill that Patrick had a guy staying with him. Between the other tenants in Patrick’s building and the people in the bookstore and coffee shop that David had visited over the last few days while Patrick was at work, Oak Grove was almost certainly churning with news that little Patrick Brewer had a boyfriend.

Not a boyfriend, Patrick reminded himself, although with every day that David didn’t return to New York, it felt more and more difficult not to name him so. David had been in town a week now, and with every day that passed it seemed more impossible that the day would come when this would be over.

Patrick spotted his cousin at a table near the bar and he steered David over.

“Hey, man!” Dennis said, up and out of his chair and hugging Patrick before he quite understood what was happening. He didn’t particularly remember Dennis being a hugger, but he went with it.

“Um, this is David,” Patrick said simply. Dennis reached out and shook David’s hand enthusiastically, as if being introduced to a man that Patrick was in an unlabelable romantic relationship with was a normal thing that didn’t require remarking upon. Which, maybe it didn’t.

They fell into easy small talk; it turned out that Dennis had a lot of opinions about music and so did David, and Patrick could just sit back and watch another member of his family welcoming David into the fold. When Dennis suggested they play darts, David didn’t want to play but he seemed content to serve as Patrick’s one man cheering section. And when Patrick won and got a kiss for his efforts, he tried not to let it show on his face how overwhelming it was, the simple fact being out in public and sharing casual affection with a boy he liked.

Ash brought over their third round of drinks themselves, as things at the bar had started to slow down.

“Ash, dude, what’s this I hear about you moving away?” Dennis asked.

They shrugged. “I’ve got some people in Norway that, if the world is ending, I’d prefer to ride out the apocalypse with,” they said, collecting and stacking empty glasses.

“I’m sorry,” Patrick said, “‘if the world is ending’?”

Ash gave him an impassive stare for a second. “Have you read the news recently?”

Patrick frowned. He hadn’t, really. He’d been too busy with David to give any thought to the outside world.

“To the people living in any particular time, it always seems like things are the worst they’ve ever been. It doesn’t mean you need to go join a doomsday cult in Norway,” Dennis said.

“There it is, cults again,” David said, making Patrick raise his eyebrows in surprise. “I swear I keep hearing things about cults these days.”

Dennis chuckled. “I mean, between climate change and so many of the world’s governments being taken over by dictators, maybe it’s not surprising that people are turning to mass protests and weird religions.”

“We saw protesters being arrested at the airport in New York,” Patrick said. “A lot of them.” He felt embarrassed that he’d let the event slip his mind entirely.

“The violence has only gotten worse in New York the last few days,” Ash said, looking annoyed at them for being so uninformed. “They’ll probably have to shut things down like they did with O’Hare and LAX.”

“I’m sorry, shut what down?” David asked, his voice rising in pitch.

“The airports. There have been so many threats of terrorism that they can’t afford to keep those airports running. I’ve got a flight out of Toronto to Heathrow in three days, and I’m praying that things don’t get too bad before I can get on that plane.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Patrick asked no one in particular.

“The world is falling apart, man,” Ash said. “And the old gods are in ascendance.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I read that Neil Gaiman novel,” Dennis said in a way that made it clear he wasn’t taking any of this seriously.

“We should make sure we have a way to get you back to your parents,” Patrick said, trying not to wish too hard that David would somehow be stranded here with him forever.

David looked startled, and he paused before saying, “Yeah. Yeah, I guess we should.”

“I wouldn’t go back to New York now,” Ash said. “Best to stay out of the big cities. That’s where the worst shit is going down.” They looked over at the bar, where more people were waiting for drinks than it looked like Ash’s assistant could handle. “I’ve gotta get back, guys. Good luck with everything.”

“Thanks?” Patrick said.

“Just…” Ash gave him a piercing stare. “Don’t ignore your dreams, Patrick. Let your subconscious be your guide.” They turned and went back to the bar then, leaving the three of them looking at each other, bemused.

“That was weird,” Dennis said.

Unnerved, Patrick reached over and took David’s hand. “Yeah.”

~*~

“That bartender was right.” David was looking at his phone when Patrick emerged from the bathroom, ready for bed. “JFK, Newark, and LaGuardia are all closed as of today. It says they don’t know for how long.”

“That’s insane. How is anybody flying anywhere?”

“They aren’t. It’s almost like 9/11, when I was stranded for four days in Portugal.”

Patrick lifted the blankets and got under the covers with David. “I was only thirteen on 9/11.”

“Oh, fuck off,” David said affectionately.

“And what was the thing Ash said about dreams? Let my subconscious be my guide? What was that?”

David gave him a sidelong glance. “I don’t know, had any interesting dreams lately?”

Patrick laughed. He didn’t usually remember his dreams. Except… “I mean, I dreamed you and I were planning to get married in Schitt’s Creek, but…” He blushed at having admitted even that to David. “It was silly.”

“Wait, what?” David asked, turning fully to him.

God, David must be freaked out by what that might reveal about his feelings, Patrick thought. “It was just a dream, it doesn’t mean I actually want to—”

“No, that’s not… I dreamed the same thing, that night at the motel. That you and I were engaged.” David looked down at his bare fingers. He always took his silver rings off at night and put them in a little dish on the bedside table that he’d borrowed from Patrick’s kitchen.

“Huh. That’s a weird coincidence.” Patrick settled down onto his pillow and closed his eyes.

“Is it?”

“Is it what?”

David huffed and nudged Patrick’s shoulder until he opened his eyes. “Is it a coincidence?”

Patrick laughed. “Well, what else would it be, David?”

“I don’t know, it’s your bartender friend who was spouting all that mystical stuff about old gods and dreams!” He gesticulated wildly with his hands.

Patrick sat back up. “I don’t actually know Ash all that well, but… look, I just don’t believe in stuff like that. Stuff I can’t verify with my own eyes and ears.”

“Okay, fine, so let’s collect some data. What else happened in your dream?” David said.

“David—”

“Humor me.”

“Okay.” Patrick rubbed his face, trying to remember. “We worked in a store together.”

Now David looked genuinely alarmed, as if even though he’d been arguing on the side of the import of these dreams, he hadn’t really believed in what he was arguing. “Without telling me what it was, do you remember the name of the store?”

He did. It had been all over everything — baggies of coffee beans and bottles of who-knew-what; it was abbreviated on the wall and on the top of the refrigerator case. Patrick took a second to be amazed that there had been that level of detail in the dream, and that he remembered even a fraction of it. “I remember it.”

“I’m going to tell you what it was, then, since you’re the skeptic. It was Rose Apothecary.”

Patrick’s heart started to thunder in his chest. “Maybe… maybe there’s a mundane explanation.”

David crossed his arms. “What?”

“Maybe we saw a place with a similar name somewhere, and it happened to register in both of our subconsciouses—”

“Two little roses, one on either side of the name,” David said. “And I had four gold rings in place of my silver ones. I’m pretty sure you gave them to me.”

Patrick stared at him. “Okay, so… so we shared a dream?”

“I don’t think it was a dream. Or, it was, but it was more than that.” David was up and out of bed now, like he couldn’t contain these ideas unless he got up and walked them off. “It was like a view of an alternate reality. One where for some reason my whole family was in that town, and so I met you a while ago, and… I don’t know, but it was good. Everyone was happy, and…”

“And Alexis was alive,” Patrick said as soon as it struck him why David wanted the dreams to mean something. “That’s what this is about, right? Your sister was alive.”

“Yeah, this is the ravings of a grief-stricken person except you saw it, Patrick. It wasn’t just me. You saw it too! And you felt something when we were outside that general store, didn’t you? And… and the waitress said it was… that the veil between worlds was thin or whatever.” He was so manic now that Patrick worried that David might be on his way to a panic attack if he didn’t calm down.

“I don’t know if I’d hang this theory on Twyla,” Patrick said, but then he had to pull himself up short, because it was triggering something else in his memory. Someone else who’d raved at him… “The homeless woman outside your building,” Patrick said softly, lost in memories of those nights, months ago, when his whole life changed.

“What?” David stopped pacing, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

“There was a homeless woman outside your building; I ran into her both times I left your apartment in the early morning. And she said…” — he struggled to remember. “She said that this world was wrong and we needed to get back to the right one. Wait, before that, the first time I saw her, she said to me ‘you found him.’”

“Patrick, if you’re fucking with me—”

“Why would I fuck with you?” Patrick rubbed his sweaty palms off on the bedspread.

“I know who you’re talking about; she was a regular in the neighborhood,” David said. “She used to say all kinds of crazy stuff to me, stuff like…” He dragged a hand through his hair, making it stick up at all angles. “That my family and I were supposed to be living in a motel together.”

Patrick didn’t want to, but it would have been dishonest not to connect those dots. “You did say those rooms felt familiar.”

David sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. “Fuck.”

Not knowing what else to do, Patrick crawled over and rested a hand on David’s back.

“What do we do?” David asked.

“We… we get you back to New York, to your family, for a start. And we try to find that woman, because maybe she knows more.”

“The airports are closed,” David pointed out.

Patrick shrugged. “So we drive. If we leave early in the morning and take turns driving, we can probably be there by this time tomorrow.”

“What about your job?”

“David, we’re going to drive to New York in the midst of a violent uprising to seek out a mystical homeless woman to explain why we’ve both dreamed of the same alternate reality. My job can go fuck itself.”

David laughed, an edge of hysteria in it, and kissed him.

~*~

“This is insane,” Patrick said as they pulled away from the third police checkpoint since crossing over into Manhattan. Only David’s ID with his Chelsea address had allowed them to get this far.

This is insane had been Patrick’s mental mantra for many of their hours of driving, and he wasn’t sure if the increasing evidence of societal collapse was bolstering the idea that they were doing the right thing or detracting from it. He knew it was insane when he called his parents from the road to tell them that he was driving David to New York since the airports were shut down (the rest of the story, he left out). He knew it was insane when they had to spend almost a full hour at the U.S.-Canadian border, undergoing extensive questioning before they were allowed to cross. He knew it was insane when he left a message for his boss, resigning his position at Rollins Electrical Supply via voicemail. He knew it was insane when David had an extended phone call with his parents as they drove through Buffalo, arguing about which of the properties that his parents still owned would be the safest if civilization fell.

David directed Patrick to a parking garage near his apartment. The automated gates had been broken off, so Patrick drove in without taking a ticket from the machine.

“If we somehow manage to get away without paying to park in Manhattan, then society really has collapsed,” David said, which made Patrick laugh.

Rain was coming down steadily on them as they walked to David’s apartment from the garage. Even Patrick, with his limited time in New York, could tell that the streets were unnaturally quiet. “I don’t see our prophetic friend,” Patrick said as they approached David’s building.

“With the rain, she might be in a shelter,” David said. “We can try to find her tomorrow.”

He looked as exhausted as Patrick felt, so Patrick didn’t argue.

At least nothing had changed in David’s apartment during their days away, and Patrick was struck by the way the smell of the place took him back to that first night in February, when he’d gone home with David and ended up in his bed. That had been insane too, but it might have been the best thing he’d ever done in his life. Maybe insane wasn’t the worst thing.

They took turns showering off the funk of the long road trip, and while Patrick waited for David in his bed, he started trying to catch up on what exactly was going on in the world. By the time David joined him, Patrick’s palms were sweating and his stomach felt queasy.

“David, I’m starting to think the world might really be ending.”

“Why?” David asked, sitting down on his side of the bed and rubbing some kind of moisturizer into his heels.

“The amazon rainforest is on fire, for one thing. Like, intentionally. They’ve instituted full-on martial law in Brazil. And that guy Jeff Bezos and some other billionaires have bugged out to some private floating city and disappeared, which I’m pretty sure was the plot of an Ayn Rand book.”

“Don’t tell my mom, she’ll be pissed she wasn’t invited,” David said, settling down onto his back and pulling Patrick into his arms.

“And legitimate people are writing articles questioning whether it’s possible for the U.S. to ever have fair and free elections ever again,” Patrick went on.

“Okay,” David said, his hand caressing Patrick’s hip.

“You don’t seem worried,” Patrick said.

“It’s not that I’m not worried, it’s that my brain literally doesn’t have any room for anything else to worry about.” David rolled them so that he was on top of Patrick and began kissing down his neck. “Also, fifty-seven percent of my brain is occupied with thinking about sex.”

Patrick grinned, wrapping his arms around David and sliding his hands down to David’s ass. “Fifty-seven percent?”

“Eighty-three percent.” Patrick thrust up with his hips, grinding against David. “A hundred and nine percent,” David breathed.

They quickly shed their clothes and were back to grinding against each other immediately, their bodies almost on auto-pilot, desperate for friction and closeness and connection.

“So I guess there’s a universe where I asked you to marry me,” Patrick said when David pulled away long enough to lube both of them up, his slick hand on Patrick’s cock and stomach and on himself. The idea of that being real somehow had turned itself over and over in Patrick’s mind on the drive until he felt compelled to speak it out loud.

“That’s the part that strains credibility, that any version of you would want to spend your entire life with any version of me,” David said, and only David Rose could manage to be self effacing while he stroked himself.

“David,” Patrick said, reaching up for David’s shoulders and pulling him down so that they could kiss, and now each thrust of their hips was slippery and so wonderful that it almost brought tears to Patrick’s eyes. “That part is easy for me to imagine.”

David kissed him, frantic, and when they separated to breathe, David’s eyelashes were fluttering as he tried to blink away his own tears. “I doubt that, but thank you for saying it.”

Patrick pulled him as close as he could, rolling his hips, trying to bring him pleasure and comfort in equal measure. “That life with you, the one we dreamed… I’d take that life in a second.”

Gasping, David kissed him again. “Me too. God, Patrick, me too.” He buried his face the crook of Patrick’s neck, his hips slowing into a more gentle undulation. “Can we pretend, just for a minute…?”

Patrick brought one hand up and carded it through David’s hair. “That we’re in that world?” He felt David nod.

His heart hammering in his chest, Patrick matched David’s rhythm and tried to imagine what he would say in that life, comfortable and confident and in love with a man that he planned to spend the rest of his days with. “I’m so happy you’re going to be my husband, David,” he murmured, his voice pitched low, and the answering noise from David told him he was on exactly the right track.

Considering and discarding several other endearments — he didn’t want to tell David he loved him until he could be certain David knew he meant it — Patrick went on. “I don’t ever want this to end. I don’t ever want to not be sharing your life. You’re the most wonderful man I’ve ever known.”

“God, Patrick, I—” Whatever David was going to say got lost as he climaxed, wet and hot against Patrick’s stomach. Patrick groaned and moved faster, seeking and finding his own peak, biting down on David’s shoulder as he came.

After a quick cleanup, they settled back into bed together, Patrick resting his head against David’s chest.

“Thanks for… I probably shouldn’t have asked you to do that in the heat of the moment,” David said. “Roleplaying scenes usually require some pre-negotiation.”

“I didn’t mind,” Patrick said. It’s not like anything he had said hadn’t been a sort of truth. “It, umm, worked for me too. Obviously.” He pressed a kiss against David’s sternum.

David laughed uneasily. “Who knew that my kink was domesticity?”

It gave Patrick a chance to lighten the mood, to get out of the territory that was going to lead to premature confessions of love, and he took it. “Should I have also talked about mowing the lawn?”

“That depends, what do you wear when you mow the lawn?”

Patrick laughed. “I’ll save my material on painting the garage for next time, it’ll drive you wild.”

Chapter 14

[tetrakys]

Trois Allumettes - Chapter 13

Lysander’s route in MCL UL.

Chapters 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12

------

Chani and I parted the dusty velvet curtain and made our way inside the trailer.

A strong aroma of incense instantly hit my nostrils, the place was small and dark, lighted only by a few dozen candles laying around the room.

“Sit down, ladies.”

I was expecting to see a woman, so I was surprised to find a man in his forties. Wearing lots of make-up, he had a turban on his head and it looked like he’d found his clothes in a low-budget costume store.

Chani and I sat down, looking at each other amused.

“Can I ask as many questions as I want?”

“Yes dear,” the man replied to her, “as maaaany as you like.”

Chani laid the money on the table, without hesitation.

“When am I going to die?”

In clumsy theatrics, the fortune teller juggled his arms out in front of himself, twirling them around what looked like a tiny crystal ball.

“When the wind rises, your eyes will close. The seasons will stop forever. It won’t be tomorrow, it isn’t today, it won’t be in sixty years, but maybe before then.”

I tried as hard as I could not to laugh.

“Care to elaborate?”

“You’re still too young for that kind of question. Your grandmother would tell you to seize the day without worrying about the flowers on your grave, or about tomorrow… You should listen to Mary…”

Chani stood up quick.

The fortune teller stood up too, and was just about to withdrew behind a big curtain when he stopped. He turned around and looked at me serious.

“Beware of road traffic accidents.”

Then he left.

“Wait, I had more questions!” Chani called out, but he was already gone. We left the place slightly baffled.

A tall guy dragged a barrier in front of the trailer to keep us from going back.

“What’s wrong Chani?” I asked her, she looked a little nervous.

“Did you hear what he said about my grandmother? She used to say “Carpe Diem” to us all the time.”

“Well, yeah… but isn’t that the kind of thing all grandmothers say? Even what he said to me… so sudden and generic, like “look around when you cross the street”? Lots of theatrics and empty banalities, it’s something you could say to anyone.”

“But he even guessed her name!”

“Mary is a pretty common name though…”

“I don’t know, it’s still strange. I felt something weird, I have to go back.”

Chani sounded distressed, I was sad the guy had worried her so much, he was clearly a fraud.

“For now it’s closed, let’s go back to the others.”

 -------

The carnival was impressive, so many colours and lights… there was any attraction one could imagine, from the very obvious Ferris wheel and roller coaster, to some new games I’d never seen before. A whole area was dedicated to food, and I was getting hungry by simply walking between the stalls.

Lysander was holding my hand and I was incredibly happy, I hadn’t seen him the whole week, we were finally on holiday but he was still busy with his many commitments.

“Ouch… look at those queues,” Rosa grimaced, “I’m not sure how many attractions we’ll be able to get on.”

“I really want to go on the flying swings!” Priya said excited, “I have my own technique to make them fly even higher.”

“Perfect to feel sick. Count me out.” Morgan replied.

“I’d like to do something easy,” Rosa looked at Leigh unsure.

“Let’s divide and conquer, we can meet at the food truck in one hour?” Alexy suggested.

We walked between the attractions and small groups formed and took off on their own. Some headed to the Ferris wheel, others to the dark throwing booth. We were passing by the bumping cars when Castiel stopped looking at them pensive.

“Do you like bumping cars, Castiel?” I asked, joining him in front of the attraction.

“No… I mean, yes.” He sounded a little reticent, but after a small pause he kept talking. “I did it once with my father, when I was a kid. After a terrible experience where he left me alone on the roller coaster, we played this. It was his way to make amends. I enjoyed it, I know it’s lame…”

“It really isn’t,” I said understanding, Castiel had never had the best relationship with his parents, it was good he had a fond memory. “Let’s do it,” I smiled at him.

“Are you sure?” he smiled back, a little embarrassed.

“Of course.” I felt someone’s arm resting on my shoulders, and I tuned my head to see Lysander glaring at Castiel.

“We’re going on the bumping cars, want to come?”

For a moment he said nothing, just tightened his hold on me, pushing my body closer to him.

“Sure.”

The queue was short, thank God… because it felt incredibly awkward. I did most of the talking, Castiel was acting normal but I could tell he’d also figured out something was wrong. Lys was quieter than usual, talking only when directly addressed, his replies curt.

When it finally was our turn, we all took seat in a different car and waited for the game to start.

There were mostly teenagers, and some of them looked scary, I tightened my hold on the wheel, I was ready.

As soon as the music started I moved forward, the cars were pretty fast and bumped quite violently. I realised it a few seconds later, when someone bumped strongly into me from behind, I turned my head to find a smirking Castiel.

“Oh, it’s on!” I said laughing.

“Yeah, you wish…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence because Lys came out of nowhere, bumping so violently into his side, that the car was pushed to the other side of the rink.

“Lys!” I cried out.

“What?”

“It was a little too violent, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know what you mean, that’s the game,” he replied matter-of-factly and departed again.

I spent the next few minutes keeping an eye on Castiel and Lys while also trying to avoid as much as possible the crazy teenagers, who seemed determined to run through everybody on the rink. Lys and Castiel, though, seemed to be doing a perfectly good job at killing each other all by themselves.

I thought about the study session we had at Rosa and Leigh’s place a few days ago. Lys had acted strangely even then, and I didn’t know why. He’d arrived a little late and had found Castiel sitting next to me, he hadn’t said a word the whole evening. At the time I didn’t paid it too much attention, focusing on working on my thesis, but now it all started to make sense.

The game was just about to end, when I saw something that froze the blood in my veins.

Lys was so completely focused chasing up Castiel, that he didn’t notice one of the kids coming fast from behind. The impact was so violent that his car was pushed against one of the side pillars of the rink, and he hit his head against it.

For one millisecond everything froze.

The cars, the music, my heart, time itself… then I cried out his name and jumped to my feet, running towards him. Luckily the other cars had also stopped and everyone was running to check on him, who was lying immobile on the ground, partially still in his car.

I was the fist to get to him, and kneeled down, touching him, calling his name. I could hear people around shouting, someone asking if there was a doctor in the crowd.

“Lys… Lys…” I kept repeating like a mantra, caressing his face. My sight was blurred, and I realised I was crying.

Finally, after it felt like hours but were most likely just a few seconds, with a pained groan he opened his eyes.

“Lys!” I cried out excited, smiling. “How are you feeling?”

He looked at me with a vacant stare, and said something that made my heart crush in my chest.

“Who are you?”

I stared at him dumbfounded, my mouth open.

But after a moment, he shook his head, his eyes finally focusing on me, recognition in them.

“Candy…”

I hugged him tightly, my arms around his neck, his own coming to my back, uncertain.

“I was so scared…” I said, tears still running on my cheeks.

I felt someone gently patting on my shoulder. It was the nurse hired by the carnival, and I moved aside to let him visit Lysander.

In that moment I noticed Castiel, who wore my same shocked and distressed expression. He and the nurse helped Lysander getting to his feet, but he really didn’t need help, he kept repeating that he was fine, and didn’t need to go to the hospital.

“Come at least to the infirmary, so that I can visit you, head injuries are not something to take lightly.”

Castiel, Lys and I followed him, making our way across the attractions. We passed next to the fortune teller trailer, and a shiver ran down my spine.

The infirmary was close, and it took the nurse just a few minutes to check his scalp and his pupils.

“You’re probably going to have a bump on your head but, other than that, you should be fine. If you’re feeling dizzy or have a strong headache, please go to the nearest A&E.”

“Thank you,” Lys replied, and we all left the room, back to the carnival.

As soon as we got out, Lys and Castiel exchanged a knowing look and he slightly nodded.

“I’ll head first to the food truck, see you there.”

“Are you sure you feel up to join the others?” I asked worried once we were alone, “we could go back to the dorms, you should rest.”

“No Candy,” he said taking my hands, “I’m not going to ruin this evening for you any longer.”

“But Lys, it’s not your fault, it was an accident.”

“I’ve been acting like a jealous child the whole evening,” he said, confirming my doubts. “You don’t know how sorry I am, I feel so stupid. I know you feel only friendship for Castiel, you’ve told me more than once, but I know it’s not the same for him and I can’t help worrying. He’s my best friend, I shouldn’t act like this, when I told him about us, I could tell he wasn’t completely happy. But exactly because he’s my best-friend I know he would never make a pass at you while you’re my girlfriend.”

“Then why…” I tried to ask.

“I guess a part of me wonders what’s going to happen between you two when I’m back at the farm. I know he’s going on tour, but tours don’t last forever, he will be back at some point, while I…”

He lowered his eyes and his hold on my hands tightened, I didn’t know what to say, my heart felt heavy in my chest.

“Well, anyway, I apologise. My behaviour has been unforgivable. I won’t ruin your night any further, you were so happy to come to the carnival and spend the evening with everyone. And… we can spend some time together alone afterwards… if you’re still up to it?” he asked hopeful.

Of course I was up to it.

Putting aside gloomy thoughts about the future, we went to join the others, hand in hand, we reached the truck food.

We spend a pleasant couple of hours chatting and eating, by the time everyone was full it was past midnight.

Suddenly, I received a phone call from a number I didn’t recognise.

“Candy?” Kim’s voice said at the other hand of the call, “come quickly to the gym please. Alone.”

For the second time that evening I felt my blood freezing.

“It’s Nath, isn’t it?”

-----

Back to Chapter 12

Go to Chapter 14

[softjeon]

Love Bite | Pt. 6

• Pairing: Vampire!Namjoon x Jimin • Genre: Angst / Smut | Vampire!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 8,7k | Co-Writer: Cat @cassiavioletblue | AO3 • Disclaimer: blood, abuse, (sexual) violence, mindcontrol, mentioning of death

↳   “You’re right. I was lying. I didn’t want to scare you. But I guess there’s not much to do now, right? I’ll tell you the truth,” Namjoon spoke softly, the grip around Jimin’s wrists loosened a little but not enough to free himself, “…because you deserve it, because I pull you into a lot of shit right now just by being here. I am a vampire, Jimin.”

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Hoseok was humming a happy tune, leaning against the banister in the main hall of his mansion. He was waiting for Namjoon to arrive, as he sighed, gazing down at his watch again. “Honestly, what is taking him so long…,” The vampire king was mumbling to himself, while the guards at the door were just looking at him in confusion. Too scared to say something. In the distance, Hoseok could hear a car coming down the road. It sounded a lot like Namjoon’s. A smile appeared on his lips.

Coming home to Jimin’s apartment with the interior trashed could only be topped by finding a note, written in the softest color and with a smiley on top: I like you so i’ll help with your decision. If you want to get your lovely little surprise come meet me at the mansion.

For a whole minute he had wasted time just standing there, looking at the trashed interior that had been Jimin’s bedroom while there was no trace of the other. Jimin was gone. Dread crept all over his  body, followed by sickness that settled cold in his gut. He had wanted to talk to Hoseok. He really had. Why hadn’t he met up with him sooner? Why hadn’t he discussed alternative ways? Why hadn’t he... He tried to avoid to think about what might have happened to Jimin, what Hoseok might have done to him - or might be doing to him right now. While he stood there like an idiot.

Namjoon ran back to his car so quickly that he almost fell down the stairs. He didn’t believe in anything, but he still prayed while speeding up to Hoseoks. ‘Please don’t let Jimin be dead, please don’t let him be dead!’ The horribly thing was that even if he wasn’t dead there were still so many horrible things Hoseok could have done to him. The vampire king was quite a bit emotional when it got to disobedience. And with not sticking to Hoseoks ultimatum he had offended his king way more than he should have. Oh god, why hadn’t he done something, anything to keep Jimin safe? As soon as he had parked the car he jumped up, running past the guards without sparing them a glance and coming to a halt in front of Hoseok who was waiting for him.

Alone.

“Where is Jimin?” starting with Jimin when his attachment to him was Hoseok’s problem probably wasn’t the brightest so he quickly added, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t choose yet, there was another idea I had that I wanted to discuss with you first and so I…,”

“Shht, no more excuses.” Hoseok placed a finger on his lips and Namjoon shuddered, because Hoseok smiled. “Come with me, friend,” Hoseok said and hooked an arm under Namjoon’s as he lead him upstairs. “Do you remember when I told you years ago that you should live here? In the mansion with me? I always pity it that you didn’t say ‘yes’ to my offer. Sometimes I think living with all those humans surrounding you, it makes you…a little soft. Don’t you agree, Namjoon?” The vampire king sighed, as they stepped inside of his office. There were a few humans lined up, all staring into thin air and only when Hoseok turned towards them for a moment they smiled. “Can I offer you something to drink before we talk?”

Namjoon bit his lip hard. He would get to see Jimin only if Hoseok allowed it. So, asking for him would be futile or even make things worse. He would need to play along while hoping that Jimin was okay. He was thinking very carefully about how to answer next. He was really, really hungry. And incredibly weak. So, if he needed to protect Jimin against Hoseok he wouldn’t have a chance like this. He couldn’t see any cold blood around, so the offer of a drink was either just an empty phrase or a test. And Namjoon wouldn’t risk offending Hoseok even more as he’d already done. So, he swallowed harshly before answering. “What... what would you recommend?”

Hoseok gasped loudly, hitting himself on his forehead in an over dramatic way. “Oh my, how did I forgot that you only like this one human,” The vampire king exclaimed and ushered the hypnotized humans out of the room again. “That was so rude of me. I will find you something better,” He chuckled, obviously amused by himself, “How is he doing by the way? What was his name again? Chim…Chimmy? Jim?”

Namjoon didn’t give Hoseok the satisfaction to answer this so he just kept his head down, hoping that Hoseok would stop the torture and just tell him if Jimin was fine.

“Anyways, let’s get back to business, Namjoon,” His voice grew stern as the vampire walked up to the other. “There will be no choice this time. You will only follow my order and I have simply decided that you will live here now.”

Namjoon didn’t resist neither physically nor with words. He had always valued his freedom the most but right now with the rogues out maybe it wasn’t so bad living here and if he had a chance, just a slight little chance that obeying now would safe Jimin from whatever punishment Hoseok had thought of then he’d agree to anything the other was suggesting right now.

With a smile, Hoseok grabbed a hold of Namjoon’s arm and pulled him along and out the other door, “I made sure to give you a wonderful room in the best part of the mansion. It has a view all over the garden. You will love that. It’s right next to the library.” Walking down the hallway, they got greeted by a few vampires, but Hoseok was focused, not even sparing them a glance.

“Here you will be safe and it’s easier for you to get in touch with your vampire side again. It will be good for you,” He kept on talking, before suddenly halting, his grip tightening on Namjoon. He was sure that the other could smell Jimin soon. Could hear his fastened heartbeat. They were so close.

“There’s something I am forgetting,” Tipping his chin, Hoseok pretended to think about something, before he stated, “Oh! Of course. I completely forgot about Jimin! Such a sweet, sweet boy. Came here all the way to see you.” Hoseok cooed at Namjoon, patting his bottom a little and then he let go off him completely. “He’s such a cute little boy toy.”

Namjoon shuddered at his king’s words. The other was way too joyful for this reprimanding speech. So, there must be something else that Hoseok wasn’t telling him. But right now, he couldn’t focus on anything else but Jimin. “Is he still here?” He hated how weak his voice sounded, how pleading but he would have gladly got on his knees again if it meant keeping Jimin safe “Did you send him away or…?” Of course, he didn’t believe Hoseok one second but he wouldn’t push anything he just wanted to know where Jimin was, if he was okay, if he…

His body jerked violently when he caught a whiff of Jimin. Or more precisely: the smell of his blood. He knew that this was a possibility, that Hoseok would bring him here to kill him or get him so close to death that Namjoon would have no other choice but to turn him or end his suffering. Suddenly he was afraid to move, afraid what Hoseok would tell him. But he needed to know, he needed to know so badly. “He’s... he’s still, here isn’t he? And... and he’s fine.” His voice broke pathetically, “He’s alive, isn’t he? You kept him alive for me so that I won’t... that I can... please, just tell me if he’s alive!”

“Oh, right that’s what I have forgotten,” Hoseok threw his hands up, making Namjoon flinch from the sudden movement, as he felt so agitated, “Of course he is here, sweety. I told you he wanted to see you. You know the rules, right? Blood bags are fine from time to time, but you need a human to live here. He is your toy now.” He patted Namjoon’s shoulder and then turned around, “I’m sure you’ll find the way to your room from here.”

“Th… thank you, my king” As soon as Hoseok was gone he turned, running to where his senses lead him. Jimin was alive! Hoseok had told him to feed off Jimin ‘to live here’ which meant Jimin must be healthy and even though the younger was probably scared out of his mind right now maybe he could convince Jimin to stay this one night, just until everything had settled. He would make sure that Jimin would feel comfortable and then, tomorrow, he could bring him back and tell Hoseok that he would stay here but that Jimin would still come regularly to him and before Hoseok would notice that he didn’t actually feed from Jimin he would find another source of blood, maybe he would buy bags at the black market or... he would find a way, somehow. He would definitely make this okay. When he heard a human heart beating behind one of the doors, he knew he had found Jimin. His heart beat was strong and regular, maybe a little bit fast but this was a mansion full of vampires so of course Jimin would be a little nervous. Namjoon opened the door with a smile only for it to falter.

Jimin flinched violently when the door opened again, but only seconds after he could feel himself falling into the deep, dark pit again. He didn’t hear or see who it was, barely able to lift his head. His head pounding, his mind trying to fight against the last remains of the hypnotization. But he was just so weak. Tears rolled down his cheek, mixing with the dried blood as it run down his neck. He had tried to twist his hands, trying to loosen the restraints the second Hoseok was gone, but it only left him with bruises. His tears were overflowing when Jimin had been giving up. He had just closed his eyes, surrendering to whatever would come, the pain so much that he was starting to dissociate. He was only breathing lightly, whimpering in pain, when Namjoon found him.

“Oh... Oh god!” Namjoon covered his mouth in shock when he took in the scene in front of him. Jimin was alive - but he looked as if he wished he weren’t. He was naked, completely bare and so Namjoon had a clear view of the bruises on Jimin’s body. There was a necklace of fingerprints around his throat and some dried blood where angry fangs had broken his skin. Namjoon made a helpless little sound as he realized that his decision not to bite Jimin had only lead to more pain and horror for the younger. Jimin didn’t really see him, his eyes flickered through the room in panic while he restlessly moved against his restraints. If it weren’t so obvious that Jimin was splayed out like this against his will then it would have been a beautiful sight: Dark red silk against Jimin’s soft skin, his arms bound tightly to the lathed bedposts, the dark shiny wood highlighting the golden color of Jimin's skin. However, his wrists were raw and angrily red from how much Jimin had pulled on his restraints, his fingers pale and aching from the way the silk had tightened and cut off his blood flow. There were tears all over Jimin’s face. So many tears. He couldn’t fathom what Jimin must have been through, but it was obvious that the younger was in shock. While everything in his screamed to just run over and rip the restraints right off he wasn't sure if the open display of his vampire powers wouldn't just send Jimin further into this state of fear, so he stepped carefully closer before lowering himself slowly to sit on the bed besides Jimin. The smell of the dried blood was even stronger here, having his stomach revolt  and coil tight, somewhere caught in between hunger and anger of what Hoseok had done but he willed it down. He could take care of that later. Right now, the only thing important was to help Jimin.

“J..Jimin?” The younger hadn’t really reacted to him besides fearful little sounds and painful gasps whenever he tried to move his wrists out of the restraint, breaking the skin again and again. “Can you please…look at me? It’s me Jiminnie. I’m here to help you.” His smile wavered as his heart was breaking for the boy.

When he registered the familiar voice, it was almost like a switch that got turned on and just like Hoseok had ordered him to before he let him alone, Jimin turned his head around to Namjoon. He hissed, the pain from where the vampire king had bitten him, making it almost unbearable - but he managed. Forcing himself to smile through the tears, Jimin blinked his eyes open and the second his gaze fell onto Namjoon, he could feel his heart ache, but he pushed through it. Namjoon didn’t care about him. No other vampire did. He was a useless human. Bound to whatever game they were playing. Just a toy for them to play with. And he had to surrender to keep himself alive. Jimin opened his mouth slowly, but at first no words came out and he had to try again. “I...I am y-yours t-to c-claim.” He whimpered pathetically when he had finally said it, knowing what he had to do next. So very slowly, he tried to move his head, showing off the side of his neck that wasn’t bitten, yet. He let out a painful moan, when he spread his legs as well. His whole body shaking from the cold and the fear. He was displaying himself for Namjoon, just like Hoseok had ordered him to. Then his eyes fell shut again, as he was sobbing quietly.

Jimin's words ripped into him the same way Hoseok's fangs must have pierced Jimin’s flesh. Namjoon was mute from how much it hurt to see Jimin like this, broken, soullessly submissive, acting as if all his will was gone. “N...no, Jimin… that’s not... not what I’m here for. I’m not going to... I’d never…” He broke off trying to keep breathing while he wanted to scream out his feelings. What on earth had Hoseok done to him? “He’s... he must have hypnotized you, right? “ He tried to keep smiling to make Jimin more calm but it wasn't very productive when the hunger made his fangs show. He should have drunk something before, no matter what. Seeing Jimin presenting like this made his inner vampire go crazy for him.

Jimin slowly nodded his head as an answer, as he pulled at the restraints again and himself up a little more. Only then he turned to Namjoon again, tears cascading down his cheeks. “Y-you said ever-everything would change t-today,” He whimpered, and a shiver went down his spine. Jimin closed his eyes again, feeling hazy and tired. He was too weak to keep his head up, so each time the darkness closed around him again, Jimin snapped his head up, trying to keep aware of his surroundings. He needed to stay awake.

“Wh-why did you do this to me,” He mumbled, blinking tiredly as he tried to focus on Namjoon, “What…have…I done w-wrong?”

His heart broke for the way Jimin’s voice wavered, his face wet with tears. He couldn't be completely hypnotized or else he wouldn't speak for himself, wouldn't cry. Which meant that the state he was in, the way his consciousness was trying to slip away from him was pure emotional exhaustion and shock. Hoseok had taken Jimin’s softness and trust and ripped it to pieces. “That wasn’t what...” It was his fault; all of this was his fault. “It wasn't supposed to be like this, I just wanted to talk, I’m so sorry Jiminnie. Can I touch you please? I would like to untie you, if that's okay?” He had no idea what to do and if touching Jimin right now would be worse than waiting till his body gave out and then taking care of him while he was protected by blissful oblivion.  

“I am yours to do with-,” Jimin mumbled, his eyes falling shut again, before a sob broke through him making his whole body shudder, “…a-as you please.” He hissed again, the pain all too present right now with how much he was moving. He just wanted to get out of this, he wanted to feel safe and warm. “I…’m so,” His almost blue lips trembling from the cold, “Please, I’m so cold…I…I don’t feel so good, Master.” Jimin gazed up at Namjoon, his eyes silently pleading for the vampire to help him, to get him out of the misery.

He couldn't watch this, he just couldn't sit there and watch Jimin break so even though the younger hadn't given him explicit permission he reached out, trying to be quick and keep his touches as fleeting as possible while he loosened the ties, keeping Jimin’s wrists in place while he tried to flinch away from the silk that had cut deeply into his delicate skin. “Hush, my love it’ll be over soon, you can sleep now if you want to, I will take care of you.” It felt so wrong to hear the word “master” from Jimin’s sweet mouth that he wanted to erase it, he wanted to clean Jimin up and call him lovely names and bring back the innocence and softness that had been buried under all this pain. “Just let go, sweety, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Jimin cried again, the soft words cutting through his heart and he couldn’t help but cry out. It was a horrible, heartbreaking cry, one that called for Namjoon to make him stop hurting and hold him. He was free falling, all while he wasn’t even sure if he could trust the vampire. Jimin felt like he was getting tossed around, his body for others to take and to play with. He sobbed against Namjoon’s chest, when the other came closer, seeking anything that he could hold on to. As soon as the vampire placed his hands down, his fingertips buried deep into Namjoon’s skin. Jimin was afraid he would fall apart. His whole body aching from the pain, shivering from the cold and locked up tight in fear.

Jimin was a mess and Namjoon wanted so badly to put him back together and make him forget. He didn't deserve this. He had showed nothing but kindness to Namjoon, had let him stay even though it and put his own life at risk and in the end,  he had been repaid by meant being abducted and violated. He was relieved that Jimin was at least not shying away from him so he could carry him into the bathroom, one arm around his back and the other hooked under his knees. He tried to not make Jimin feel even more vulnerable than he already was, but he wanted to get him into a hot relaxing bath as soon as possible and therefore he just got him up from the bed as naked as he was.

Jimin hissed in pain the second Namjoon hoisted him up though and he hid his face in the crook of Namjoon’s neck in shame. “It…It hurts,” He was holding onto the vampire so tight, that his knuckles turned white, “Please, Na-Namjoon.” Whimpering when Namjoon adjusted his hold, Jimin squealed in pain. “It’s…please, don’t…I…It’s too big,” He murmured incoherent words, “He…didn’t care…I…had to.” Jimin was just so tired and weak that his head was falling back, when the memory of what Hoseok had made him do in hypnosis. He could still hear his orders, his laugh, the way he had talked about that Namjoon will like him like this and how good of a human he was for him.

Jimin’s words didn’t make any sense to him until he noticed the way Jimin was pressing his thighs together. Hate spilled like acid into his veins. “Jimin, did he... did he...” He couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t wrap his mind around how Hoseok could hurt someone so soft and beautiful like Jimin on purpose. He quickly placed him down onto the floor, as gently as he could.  “Let me... let me see please?” His voice was hoarse and brittle, the words ashen in his mouth. He didn’t want to uncover even more horrible things that Hoseok had done. He wanted to undo them, to delete them from Jimin’s mind and erase them from his skin. “I’m so... so sorry for this!”

Silent tears rolled down his cheek, when Jimin slowly propped himself up on his knees. He felt so embarrassed about all of this. But he was naked already, Namjoon had seen the worst already. No matter what he would try, Hoseok had made it clear that he belonged here now. To Namjoon. To the vampires. To whoever wanted to claim him. He didn’t look at the other, when he leaned forward, showing off the butt plug, Hoseok had chosen for him to prepare himself for Namjoon. It wasn’t like he had never worn one, but it had been a while and it was starting to hurt, especially with the way he was tensing up the whole time. He buried his face in his hands, when he sat back a little again, sobbing and apologizing repeatedly. Jimin just wanted this nightmare to end.

Dread settled low in his stomach, heavy and hot like a scorching brick when he realized that Jimin was wearing a plug. There was no way that he would have willingly done that to himself so either Hoseok made him do it under the hypnosis – or he did it to Jimin himself. Either way it was a horrible violation of both Jimin’s body and his soul and Namjoon ached with the certainty that it was his fault. To make it worse Jimin was apologizing to him as if he feared punishment for not taking it quietly. This whole situation was so horribly, horribly wrong!

“Sh...sht, it’s alright, you’re going to be fine. I’m... I’m going to take that out of you, okay? Just... please just try to relax and it’ll be over soon...” The morally right way to do this would have probably been to wait until Jimin was conscious enough to do it himself but Jimin’s eyes were still glazed over and his mind a little too far gone to fully get what was happening to him and Namjoon couldn’t stand the thought of Jimin coming to and having to feel something inside of him that he didn’t want there. His broken words and pleas were already enough. Jimin whimpered when Namjoon reached between his legs and it cut right through Namjoon’s chest. The Vampire closed his eyes, trying to stay calm and focused and just like Jimin needed him to be right now. He shushed him softly, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, telling him with a calm voice how it would be over in a second and how good he was doing, he just needed to relax. Namjoon tried to be as gentle as possible but Jimin still shuddered when he pulled that horrible thing out, the grip on Namjoon’s arm tightening painfully as Jimin’s knuckles turned white again. He didn’t let go even when it was over. Namjoon threw the plug aside to somewhere where Jimin wouldn’t have to see it again. Soothing him was way more important right now than cleaning up properly.

Finally he could throw a blanket over Jimin, pulling it tight enough that Jimin could feel the warmth and safety but loose enough that he didn’t feel trapped (making him take a hot bath now that Namjoon had found out that he was injured that way was out of the question). He waited until Jimin’s dissociation seemed to have settled a little, then he carefully held Jimin close, gently rocking his delicate frame while Jimin’s eyes started to get clearer and his body got out of its frozen state. “Hush, baby, it’s fine, you’re safe. It’s over, no one’s going to touch you again. Shh~ht, you’re safe now. You’re safe with me, Jimin.”

Jimin held onto Namjoon tight, closing his eyes as he tried to concentrate on Namjoon’s words. It didn’t take long for him to finally fall asleep. His body finally being able to relax. He was out of it in seconds, the darkness pulling him back in. Namjoon was caressing through his hair, over his cheeks and it helped him to keep himself in reality and not dissociate while asleep. Each time Jimin was shivering, Namjoon pulled him closer, keeping him warm and let him feel the safety of his hold.

He stayed with Jimin until he was sure the younger was dead asleep then he started to clean him with lukewarm water. The dried blood on his neck had started to flake and it was both terrifying and fascinating to him to see Jimin’s blood dilute in the water. The monster in him wanted to taste, to lean forward and drink now that Jimin had been hurt anyway but even though the hunger was eating at him painfully his finger’s didn’t even tremble while cleaning the younger up. Seeing Jimin broken and hurt had spoiled his appetite. The calmer he got and the more his mind had time to process what had happened the more angry he got. He would go to see Hoseok right after. This had gone way, way too far and he would make sure that Hoseok would never ever touch Jimin again!

He hated the thought of leaving Jimin alone, but he needed to discuss this now. He could never look into Jimin’s eyes again if he couldn’t swear to him that Hoseok would never hurt him like that again. However, he was in a mansion full of vampires, he was weak and injured and smelled delicious so Namjoon made sure to mark Jimin as his - the soft way. Carefully he bit his own lip until he broke the skin a little, licking over it until his lips were bloodied. Then he leaned down and kissed Jimin’s neck once, a little above the collarbone, careful not to get to close to the younger’s actually wound. No one would dare to hurt Jimin now if they stumbled upon him, unless they wanted to risk going against Namjoons right and initiating a fight. Still he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible as he would only be able to stop worrying while keeping an eye on Jimin himself.

The vampire king was already waiting for the subordinate vampire. The smile still in place, as he looked outside the window. The stars sparkled bright as the large white moon hung mysteriously over the mansion. He took a deep breath when he could hear footsteps coming closer and Hoseok leaned back comfortably. There was nothing he needed to fear. Instead, for him it was all just fun and games.

When the door busted open, Hoseok didn’t even flinch, instead he took a sip from his glass, that was filled with some blood. Jin’s to be exact. “Namjoon, you’re already done?” The vampire king cocked up an eyebrow at him, “You didn’t last very long then…or didn’t Jimin? Don’t tell me you wasted that beautiful human.” He got up from where he sat and walked around the coffee table towards Namjoon, “He tastes amazing, doesn’t he?”

Namjoon had to close his eyes to get himself together. He was furious. But he wouldn’t last a second right now if he just jumped at Hoseok. He might still have though, if it wasn’t for Jimin still being in the same building. “How... how could you... how dare you… he wasn’t your toy to play with! I care about him! I really do! And you treated him like a fuck toy. You basically raped him so how can you... how can you think I would be happy about this?!” His fangs were showing openly, he just couldn’t hide them anymore, hunger and hurt and anger making them show all for different reasons.

Hoseok threw his hands up in defense, chuckling low, “You shouldn’t have disobeyed me in the first place. You can be glad that I didn’t follow the usual rules or else Jimin would be dead by now and you with him.” He growled low in his chest, signaling Namjoon to back the fuck away from him, “He’s yours now. Do whatever you want. He knows his place and where he belongs now. Hell, try and hypnotize him again if you need to. But let me tell you one thing, Namjoon…” The vampire king came closer, pushing the other back until he there was nothing left behind him but the cold wall, “You’re a fucking vampire. Start acting like one or else you’ll be dead sooner than you think and then no one can save Jimin anymore. No master, no one there to claim him,” Then he hissed at Namjoon, venom dripping down with every word he said, “If you…or Jimin fucking disobey me once more I will kill you. Slowly. Painfully. And I will make him watch first, before I do the same to him.”

Namjoon bit his lip hard to keep himself from talking, his already broken skin starting to bleed again. He wanted to scream at Hoseok, yell right in his face that he couldn’t just hurt Jimin like that to punish him - though reality was: he could. He could go over there and kill Jimin if he wanted and Namjoon wouldn’t be able to prevent it. Hoseok was stronger than him, older, always well fed. He wouldn’t stand a chance. And he didn’t doubt for one second that Hoseok would follow through with his threats. He’d torture Jimin to death if it got him what he wanted. He trembled from all the suppressed anger, but he kept quiet, hating himself for backing down instead of standing up for Jimin like he should. He had told the younger he would protect him. And now he was lying there on a bed in this mansion, hurt and broken and so, so far from how it should be. His voice sounded hoarse from all the pent up emotion that he could only barely keep in check, but he managed, not really to keep the spite out of his words but to keep his voice from wavering. “If I apologize for my disobedience and act accordingly to how you want me to behave - can you promise me then that Jimin will be safe?” Hoseok's grin hit him with another wave of nausea. “I want you to swear that you won’t ever touch him again. On your blood. Or else you will feel what it will be like to find the one you love hurting and violated!”

Hoseok licked his lips slowly, looking the other vampire up and down. “Are you threatening your king, Namjoon?” He growled low, while his hand wandered up Namjoon’s chest and then settled on his neck. The king was tightening his hold, making the other feel his power.

“As long as you claim him. No one else can touch him and I won’t either,” He hissed through his teeth, reminding Namjoon about the rules of the vampires. If a human was claimed not even a vampire king could do anything without permission. But Hoseok knew about the promise Namjoon had given Jimin, that the human didn’t want to be bitten. Well, he did the first step. It shouldn’t be too bad for Namjoon to just follow his lead now. The human was too whiny anyways and it was Namjoon’s job now to make sure Jimin knew how to behave around here. “You know the rules. He’s one of us now.” He put a little more pressure around Namjoon’s throat before he pushed him away, “Now get out of my face!”

He hated it! He hated how weak he was, how trying to do the right things made everything just crash and burn around him. But he couldn’t just throw away his consciousness. He couldn’t! And still, right now he would have done anything to get some blood. He was hurting all over and he couldn’t even distinguish from the purely physical pain that was caused from the blood loss and the pain that manifested throughout his body because he was hurting so badly because of Jimin’s pain. And he felt guilty for even feeling like that because nothing had happened to him it was Jimin who had been abducted and hurt and bitten and stripped down and... a dry sob choked him, and he got into the very next room to get out of the hall were others might see. If he was seen as weak, they might even dare to mess with Jimin and he couldn’t... he couldn’t let that happen again!

He hit the wall with his palm, knowing that if he let loose completely or started punching it for real, he would break the wood, the wall behind it, probably his own wrist but he just needed to do something he felt so... so.... Namjoon whined in distress, something between a scream and a growl, leaning his head against the wall and trying to remember how to breathe.

Jin looked up from the book he was reading, watching Namjoon, who was looking like he was only seconds away from tearing this whole place down. He had heard already about the new human inside the mansion. One that belonged to Namjoon, that Hoseok had called ‘the present’ around him. He had only rolled his eyes at the king in that moment.

“You okay there?” Jin asked and put the book aside, waiting for Namjoon to realize that he wasn’t alone. “You know crying about it and punching the walls won’t help the human much.”

Namjoon flinched violently when he heard Jin’s voice behind him. He had been so out of it that he hadn’t even noticed someone else was there. He heaved a shuddering breath, trying to relax. He was exhausted. And so, so very hungry. “What do you know about that, human. You’re living your life as the king's little toy, you have no idea...,” He stopped himself short, shaking his head, “I’m sorry, Seokjin. I’m just... really not in a good place right now. But you’re right.” He laughed humorlessly, “Crying about it won’t help anyone, right? And it’s too late now anyway. All I can do is hope that Jimin will get over this without too much damage on his soul.”

“It’s fine,” He shrugged his shoulders, “People always just see what we portray on the outside. He’s the vampire. I’m his “toy”. But you know there’s more than that, don’t you? Something that you are desperately aching for yourself, right?” Seokjin stood up and walked over to Namjoon. Carefully, he reached out for the vampire, smiling at him apologetically as he wiped away a few tears from his cheek. Cupping his face, Jin made Namjoon look at him. “Of course, I know there’s more between you two.” Namjoon shook his head, his smile turning a little bitter. “Sometimes I think you’re the only person that really matters to him. The one and only exception from all those ‘useless humans’. I wonder what you did to touch his heart. You must have some necromantic qualities to you because I could have sworn his heart was dead for hundreds of years before he met you. “ Normally he didn’t talk about his king like that, not only because it was disrespectful but because talking badly about others and creating negativity wasn't what he wanted to contribute to a conversation. Right now, he didn’t give a damn about Hoseok's reputation though. And Seokjin knew him best anyway. He leaned away from Seokjin’s touch as the other caressed his cheek, too hurt by Hoseok's actions to be able to let his ‘unofficial boyfriend’ play games with him.

“You love him,” Jin spoke quietly, “The human, I mean. It’s written all over your face. Oh, Namjoon...” Before the vampire could do something, the human leaned in and hugged him tight, holding him for a little while.

Namjoon stiffened up when Seokjin hugged him, completely taken by surprise. They had been politely friendly to each other, sure, but this wasn’t something they had ever done before. And it was really fucking dangerous for more than one reason. “I... don’t think that’s a good idea.” He instinctively licked his lips, trying not to breath in Seokjin's scent or concentrate on how warm the other was, how his blood was rushing through his veins right under his fragile skin.

When he stepped away from him, Jin let his hands wander down Namjoon’s arm, squeezing him there reassuringly, “There’s more than you can do than just hope.” When the vampire’s confused gaze met his, he smiled. “You know the others will figure out, that you have a human around you now. They will want to see if you have him claimed. Even if you did, when they see how weak you are, they will fight you. Namjoon, you have to eat! No shitty blood bags, but real food.” Jin bit his lip, looking back over his shoulder as he contemplated something. “This is not about you, or your moral standards anymore, Namjoon,” Jin raised his eyebrow at the other, knowing exactly what he wanted to answer but he didn’t even give Namjoon the chance to speak. “This is about Jimin and how you can protect him. There is no way Hoseok will let you and him leave, so you have to decide. Stand by your morals and stay weak or become strong for him and be able to protect him.” Seokjin’s lecture made him defiant and he was about to tell him that his morals was everything that he had left, that if you didn’t stick to your own rules in an ever changing world then what was the point, but the human rendered him mute when he pulled him along and onto the couch.

Jin sighed, as he was starting to roll up his sleeve. “I know you always want to do what’s morally right, but maybe this time you have to play his wicked game,” He reached out for Namjoon’s hand and placed his wrist in the vampire’s palm. Shifting a little closer to Namjoon, Jin leaned against the vampire’s shoulder. Being so close to him, the vampire could feel Jin’s breath on his neck with every word he spoke, one hand placed in his, while with the other was tracing little patterns at the nape of Namjoon’s neck. “But that doesn’t mean you have to lose or give up. So, I think it’s only fair to take something from his, when he did the same to yours, right?”

When Seokjin rolled up his sleep Namjoon couldn’t help but watch, his eyes transfixed on the way Seokjin bared his radial artery to him so nonchalantly. The vampire’s breath quickened involuntarily as he tried in vain to not let it show how much it affected him. He had no idea what the other was doing and only when Seokjin made it clear that he was offering up his blood to him did it click. “Wait, what... what is about? Is this some kind of test? Did Hoseok ask you to test my loyalty to him? He claimed you! You are his! I know you’re way more than that but regarding to vampire law you’re his property and I would be stupid to give in to this!” Still he couldn’t let go of Seokjin’s wrist. Where his fingers had closed around the others delicate bones, he could feel the pulse beating against his skin. It was the sweetest torture he could think of.

“If I remember correctly there’s also a rule about how that it is my duty as a human to offer some of mine to a vampire in need...and you awfully look like you need it,” Jin chuckled, before he shook his head to answer Namjoon’s questions, “No, it’s not a test. I am his, yes - but I can make my own choices. I am offering you my blood. I think Hoseok overstepped way more boundaries tonight, than you will with simply taking my blood. Don’t worry about any consequences. I will make sure to keep Hoseok in line and away from Jimin.” Caressing through Namjoon’s hair, Jin nodded towards his wrist, “It’s only fair to take from me, when he did the same with yours. Most of the humans in the mansion are claimed right now. The vampires are scared to go out to hunt because of the rogues. I can make sure to order blood bags for you after this, but right now...you don’t have much of a choice. Take from me and protect the one you love…”

Namjoon’s mouth watered at the prospect of drinking blood right from the source. He couldn’t remember the last time he did that. Absentmindedly he traced Jin’s veins while he listened to the human talking. He sounded so sure and confident. He was so lost in this, the temptation, the smell, that he leaned into Jin’s caress like a cat. He was way past the position to refuse this right now. And Jin offered willingly so if this really wasn’t a test…

Namjoon silenced the parts of his mind that still worried and pressed his mouth to Jin’s wrist. He moaned helplessly when he felt the pulse against his lips. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Seokjin!” He tried to be as gentle as possible, just barely nicking the skin with his fangs at first. When the first drops of blood hit his tongue he shuddered violently, sinking deeper immediately. He could barely control himself, drinking greedily, swallowing down Jin’s heavenly blood in hasty gulps. He didn’t taste as sweet and heady as Jimin but there was an underlying spiciness to it, a savory flavor that Namjoon appreciated just as much. No wonder Hoseok had fallen for Jin. His fierce character together with his soft beauty and delicious blood made for an addictive combination.

Jin leaned into Namjoon as soon as the poison entered his body, making him feel heated, euphoric and so turned on. A moan slipped from his lips and breathy little pants came from Seokjin. He smiled, licking his lips slowly, watching the vampire take from him greedily. “’m so good,” He mumbled, holding onto Namjoon’s shoulder to steady himself. Only when Jin could see that Namjoon got some color back in his face and the vampire wasn’t looking as sickly anymore, his eyes shiny red and reflecting his true inner self, only then he caressed through his hair once more, before pulling at it slightly. Namjoon slowed down a little, lapping at the blood with relish. The hunger had simmered down, and he slowly started to feel sated. Still he instinctively growled when Jin pulled his wrist away, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. It was just so tasty! And not only that he felt like he could finally breathe again, as if someone had lifted a haze from his mind and now everything was clearer again, more sharply, more real. He sighed with relief. “It’s enough now, vampire,” Seokjin spoke quietly and pulled his wrist away from his lips. “Pity”, Namjoon joked a little, finding back to his humor. “You look really beautiful like this.”

“I know I do,“ Jin said nonchalantly, but still – he loved getting compliments. He got up from the couch, holding onto his wrist for a moment. “Lick it clean, please. I can’t walk around looking like this,” He pushed it into Namjoon’s face again, before he added, “For the human...as he and I are the only not hypnotized humans here,” He looked at Namjoon as he raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t think the vampire had the guts to completely hypnotize the other to force him to be with Namjoon, “Just tell him, that he’s always welcome in my room. If he ever needs one of his kind to talk to. And you should think about visiting Yoongi…maybe he can help you.”

Namjoon did as he was asked, sinking down onto his knees for Seokjin to show his gratitude while thoroughly cleaning Jin up with gentle touches and little licks. It felt even more intimate now that Jin’s warm blood was running through his veins. He looked up at Jin, expression turning serious. “That would be great, actually. I can’t even begin to understand what it must feel like to be surrounded by us, always confronted with the presence of deadly danger and possible violence against you - I’m sure it would help him immensely to have someone to talk to who hasn’t fangs.” He hesitated a little and then added, “Actually I... I thought about having him visit Yoongi as well but... then I wasn’t sure if it wouldn’t be another kind of violation to have Yoongi do that to him...on the other hand I don’t want him to live through what Hoseok did to him. Do you really think it would be okay? You, as a human - how would you decide in his situation?”

“I’d definitely prefer some harmless memories over one’s that would bring me nightmares,” He answered honestly, “We humans are too easy to break. Ask him if he wants some of the memories gone, but I am sure he will agree.” Taking his hand away from Namjoon, he thanked him for cleaning the wound and turned on his heel. Just when he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder one last time, “I’ll make sure that you have blood bags from tomorrow on until then I hope my blood will get you through.”

On the other side of the mansion, Jimin stirred and still asleep he rolled over onto his back. His legs twitches as he fell deeper into his nightmare. A deafening scream reverberated in the shadows in his mind. He was starting to pant, his heartbeat quickening fast. He could see Hoseok’s evil eyes glinting red above him, making him shudder from head to toe.

And then he screamed.

Namjoons thanks died on his tongue when he heard Jimin scream. He was back at the room in a second, fangs out and ready to fight whoever had dared to get too close to Jimin - when he saw that Jimin was alone. Sadness and guilt crept back into his heart as he slowly got closer, careful not to scare Jimin even more. Jimin was panting harshly but his eyes were closed so he didn’t know if Jimin was still asleep and reacting very violently to a nightmare or if he was awake and just too scared to open his eyes, trying to hide from the world around him by literally closing his eyes to it. Jin was right. He should get Jimin to Yoongi, the sooner the better. If he couldn’t remember what had happened in all detail that it couldn’t haunt him like that. “Jimin? Minnie?” He didn’t dare to touch him, so he tried to get him to respond by words alone. “Are you awake?”

Jimin instinctively pulled the blanket closer over his body, curling in on himself, when Namjoon’s voice reached him. He had woken up right after his scream, but as soon as he realized where he was, he had tried to hide again. He nodded slowly to answer the vampire. “I…I am sorry,” He hiccupped from the tears a little, feeling utterly lost and helpless. Jimin felt so tired, so dizzy from dehydration and way too vulnerable with him still being naked under the blanket. But when he looked up at Namjoon, Jimin tried to smile, shaking off the bad memory of his nightmare as much as he could, but all he wanted was to be held and to feel safe again. “I want to go home, Namjoon.”

He felt horrible denying Jimin what he wanted most right now but he couldn't just send him back. Hoseok, the rogues, Jimin’s own tortured mind - at least one of it would get to Jimin sooner or later. “Don’t apologize, Minnie. You are the least responsible for all of this. It’s me who has to make amends to you... but right now is not the time. I can’t get you home right now, I’m sorry. You will have to stay here for a while. But I promise...” His voice broke a little when he remembered that he had told Jimin before that he wouldn’t get hurt and looking at him now there was no way Jimin would ever believe him again. “...I…I’ll make sure that you’re safe. There are others who can look out for you too. Seokjin, a human that I’d like you to meet and... friends of mine...” He wasn't really sure if you could call the bonds between vampires ‘friendship’ as they were more built on necessity and decade old routine than the conscious decision to befriend someone, but he didn’t know how else to call it and to Jimin it might be calming to think that there where people around that would have an eye on him. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet right now actually. I know you probably don't want to see anyone right now but it's really important that you get to him, the sooner the better. It’s... he might be able to help you a little.”

Jimin bit his lip in thought. He had known the answer, Hoseok had made it clear to him that this was his new home now. That Namjoon owned him. That’s why he also didn’t say no to Namjoon asking him to meet one of his friends. The vampire would make the decisions now and he would follow. Jimin pulled the blanket a little tighter around his body and got up. “Of course, Master,” Jimin said quietly, “Is it okay…if I take a shower first?” Then a horrible thought crossed his mind and he instinctively reached out for Namjoon, his eyes wide in panic, “You…you will come with me, right? And…and I don’t have to sleep with him…r-right?”

Namjoon closed his eyes when Jimin called him ‘master’ again. It was just a word and yet it cut through him right into his heart because it stood for everything that Jimin shouldn’t be, scared, submissive, insecure, forced to make himself small and obey to “his vampire owner’s” wish. He ached for Jimin, for the way the youngers eyes widened in fear, the way he pulled the blanket around himself in a desperate attempt to shield himself, knowing that nothing would withstand a vampires force if they wanted to take it from him. The grip around his arm was too tight and too shaky to be anything but a helpless, unconscious way of grounding himself and Namjoon gently plucked Jimin’s hand from his arm to keep it between his own. “No, Jimin you don’t... don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.“ Besides staying here against his will. Being surrounded by vampires. Having to try and act calm while he surely must be dying to just break down or scream out his pain or flee everything and never look back. “And please, please don’t call me master,” He bit his lip when gently tugging Jimin along. “The shower can wait, okay? It’s really important that you meet him as soon as possible.” He didn’t have the heart to tell Jimin that he had already cleaned him up while Jimin had still been in shock and that if he still felt dirty it probably didn’t have to do anything with his skin not being clean. It made all the more clear that Seokjin was right and that he desperately needed Yoongi. He really hoped the vampire would wake up for him - and also would be willing to help. Because the longer they waited the more difficult it would be for Yoongi to dilute the memories.

A/N: At least they found each other again, right? So far...so good...or bad, depending on how you see the current situation with Jimin staying in the mansion. Either way, we really hope you enjoyed it and are ready to get some more insight into the life in the vampire mansion soon...oh, and Yoongi of course. We’ll see how he is in the next chapter! I can’t wait! Thank you guys for your wonderful comments on the last chapter! It made us so happy! ❤❤❤

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[allthephils]

Three is the Magic Number

I cannot believe it took me over a month to post this. I just couldn’t seem to get to a place of satisfaction with it. Anyway, here it is, released into the wild. This is technically the last chapter but there will be one more as an epilogue. Watch for that very soon. Thanks so much for reading!

Chapter 6

Word count: 5236/23203 so far Rated E (smut, threesome, friends to lovers)

Read on AO3

Read from the beginning 

The room is neat, a few candles are lit and the dim light by the bed is on. This is just how Dan keeps his room. Phil sits on the corner of the made bed and listens to the sounds coming from Dan’s shower. The occasional splash punctuates the steady spray of water and Phil imagines Dan pushing his hands through his hair. His eyes are probably closed and he’s probably humming a tune Phil wouldn’t recognize. There are likely thoughts and ideas swirling in his head, a whole complex conversation with himself that fascinates the hell out of Phil. All of the best ideas come in the shower. For Phil, that means the difference between a reaction video and a story time, but for Dan it’s life or death. For Dan, it’s digging the meaning out of an otherwise meaningless day, it’s finding a reason to keep moving forward when he really believes there is no point. It’s so brave, believing in nothing. It fascinates Phil but it’s not novelty. Dan’s not a precious thing to put on a shelf, he’s brilliant and courageous and strong. Phil’s eyes sting a bit but he blinks it away.

 The shower shuts off. Now is not the time for a deep exploration of dormant emotions and Phil shakes his head a bit to come back to the matter at hand. It’s going to be a good night and he’s genuinely excited. He had been excited for Brad but more in a going out is fun and he probably would’ve blown me kind of way. Phil’s never been great at delaying gratification. This is different though. He knows exactly what to expect and he knows it will be incredible. Miguel pushes him out of his comfort zone just enough, all while enjoying the things that come naturally to Phil. And Miguel is so into Dan. It was clear from the start that Phil turns him on and makes him laugh, maybe rocks his resolve a little. He smiles to himself at that thought. Dan does something else to him though, something Phil has really enjoyed watching.

 With Dan, Miguel is soft with admiration even in the midst of the filthy scenes they’ve created. Miguel sees things in Dan he can’t possibly know yet and Phil gets a certain kind of warm thrill watching him soak Dan in. He’ll never know Dan the way Phil does but he seems to have an instinct for some of the magic Dan holds. Seeing Dan through his eyes reminds Phil what he saw all those years ago, before they had such a large and fervent audience and years of struggle and triumph together. Back then, Phil had clicked on a particularly attentive fan only to find someone so perfectly suited to him, he worried he might be his very first stalker. Funny how warm brown eyes and a beautiful smile quelled those fears almost immediately. He gave him pretty complete access right away, he definitely would have worn Phil as a skin suit had he been a murderous stalker. Luckily, he was just Dan and his own poor judgment meant that soon they‘d met and connected in a friendship Phil still has to pinch himself over sometimes. Before he can sink any deeper into nostalgia, Dan steps out of the en suite in a fog of steam.

 “Hey gorgeous.”

 He jumps a little at the sound of Phil’s voice. “Hey,” he says, stopping where he is. “You startled me. What are you doing?”

 “Just getting things ready for Miguel,” That's a lie, he hasn't so much as turned down the bed. “Nice outfit.”

 Dan looks down at the towel around his waist. “I learned from the best. What time is it?”

 “It’s almost 9. That was a long shower you took,” Phil says with a lilt to his voice and a cocky twist to his lips, “What were you up to in there?”

 “Fuck off.” Dan says, his eyes shooting daggers. “Why aren’t you dressed?”

 “I put pants on.” Phil argues, gesturing to his signature red Calvin Kleins. “It’s all just gonna come off in a few minutes anyway.”

 “You have a point.” Dan pulls clean joggers out of his drawer but before he can pull them on, Phil speaks up.  

 “Dan wait. Come here.”

 ***

 He sets the joggers down and moves to stand in front of Phil. There’s too much to look at, Phil’s long legs, Phil’s hips wrapped in those snug red pants, Phil’s dark patch of chest hair. He won’t look into his eyes, not yet. When things get going, when they’re all turned on and tangled up together, then he’ll let his guard down. Once Miguel is here, he’ll have a nice safe buffer between himself and Phil. He can hide his heart, raw and open as it is, among everyone’s shared vulnerability. He can let everything in and it’ll just look like passion, like lust and pleasure. No one has to know.

 “I’m sorry about the video,” Phil says sincerely. “I’ll edit it. I got carried away. You’ve been gone a lot and I missed you.”

 “I’m not angry about the video. I’m not angry about anything. I’m ok.” Dan keeps his eyes on the bed but he can feel blue eyes locked on his expression. “You missed me?” He adds, sheepish.

 “Well yeah.” Phil’s hands come to rest on Dan’s hips. He pulls him in just a little. “We spend every moment together and I like it that way. I kept wanting to tell you stuff but you weren’t there and I didn’t think I should text you. I wanna give you space, if you need it.”

 “I don’t,” Dan answers too quickly, “need space. I missed you too.”

 “Oh yeah?” Phil pulls him even closer until his breath tickles Dan’s sternum. His hands spread across his lower back and he presses a kiss to Dan’s chest before laying his cheek against it. Dan slows his breath, keeping it shallow lest he do anything that might prompt Phil to move.

 Dan is stood between Phil’s knees, Phil’s arms wrapped tight around him. He closes his eyes, letting the embrace just be. Moments pass but soon, Phil’s hands are moving down over the towel, coming to rest on his ass. PhIl’s phone vibrates on the bedside table but they both ignore it.

 “You have the best ass.” Phil says, squeezing the soft flesh through the rough fabric of the towel.

 Dan rakes his fingers through Phil’s hair, mussing his perfectly styled quiff. “Better than Miguel’s?”

 “The best,” Phil places tiny kisses wherever his lips can reach. “You have the best everything.”

 “Phil, you don’t have to woo me, I’m already standing here naked.”

 “Not wooing, just speaking my mind.” Phil cranes his neck to look up at Dan. “You know you’re my favorite.” He reaches to slide a hand behind Dan’s neck, pulling him down.

 They’re inches apart when Dan whispers, “We should wait for Miguel.”

 “We can get a head start.” Phil whispers back just before their lips meet.

 The kiss is so rich, so full and all encompassing, slow enough to savor the smoky cinnamon of Phil’s tongue, eager enough to have Dan climbing into Phil’s lap. He can’t help himself, he doesn’t want to resist or wait or pretend. He finally has a place to put all the longing and without words, he still has plausible deniability. He can call it lust, he can deny it all later. So just this once, he won’t hold back.

 Phil’s hand never left Dan’s neck and he cradles his head now as he slowly lays him back onto the bed. Dan’s towel loses its grip and falls as they move but he doesn’t react. He can’t be bothered to care when there are fingertips trailing up and down over his hip and skilled lips never losing contact with his. He could do this forever, forget the world around them, but soon he needs to breathe and as he pulls away, he remembers.

 “Shouldn’t Miguel be here by now? What time is it?”

 Twisting, Phil reaches to glance at his phone. “Oh, he texted. He’s not coming. ...professional opportunity I can’t pass up. SO sorry, lunch is on me tomorrow.” Phil shrugs as he sets his phone down and turns to nuzzle into Dan’s neck, his hand sliding to Dan’s lower back, bringing their bodies tightly together. Dan gasps as Phil sucks lightly on his neck, his whole body responding with a shock of electricity that rolls through him.

 “We should stop.”

 Phil barely pauses, mumbling against Dan’s skin, “Why?”

 “Miguel’s not coming.”

 Phil pulls back to look Dan in the eye. “I don’t want to stop.” The words are a growl, deep and breathy. He’s clearly not as in control as he seems. “Do you want to stop?” There’s desire and a little desperation in his voice and Dan shivers, overwhelmed with need.

 He pushes forward, kissing harder than before, leaning into Phil until he’s on his back. His hand is braced on Phil’s chest, his hips rolling into his until he feels a hand there, stilling him. Another comes to cup his cheek and Phil pulls away just enough to speak, a smile in his eyes.

 “Hey, slow down, I’m enjoying this.” He says before leaning to fit their lips together again. Phil sets a languid pace. His tongue pushes soft but insistent, eliciting gentle whimpers from Dan, pulling every ounce of tension from his body till he’s pliant, yielding, ready to receive whatever Phil wants to give him. The hand on his back moves to caress and knead his ass. Dan’s cock is aching, hard and grinding into rough fabric with every grip of Phil’s fingers, squeezing his flesh and pulling him against him again and again.

 There’s too much to sort through, too many varieties of want, all wrapped up in eachother. There’s no one between them, no shield, and he’s not doing much to hide his heart. The sighs, his grabbing hands, his open mouth, and utter surrender. Phil will know, how could he not? There’s nothing Dan wants more than this but he can’t let it go on. It feels like a lie. He pulls himself from the edge he’s poised on and heaves a heavy breath.

 ***

 Phil wants to drink him in, to pull more whimpers from that perfect mouth. He wants to feel him tremble from how good he feels. He wants him more than he’s ever wanted anyone and he should probably be shocked but he’s not. Nothing’s ever felt more natural and he just wonders what took them so long.

 “Phil. Phil, wait.” Dan’s speaking right into Phil’s mouth so his lips find his jaw instead. They find his earlobe then his pulse point before what he said registers and Phil stops, resting his head back on the pillow. Still his hand trails up Dan’s side, onto his belly, up over his chest, his thumb grazes his nipple. Dan isn’t pulling away. He’s just there, draped over Phil. There’s so much heat in his eyes but there’s a touch of fear too.

 “Dan, what’s wrong? What did I do?”

 “Nothing.” Dan says meekly. “You’re doing everything right, that’s the problem.”

 Dan overthinks but sometimes Phil doesn’t think enough. He moves toward what feels good without considering the impact it may have. He knows this about himself and he keeps it in check when it really matters. This is the balance that Dan brings to his life, the ability to pause and step back. Now, here with Dan, things come in to blurry focus, glimpses of Dan questioning him after that first time with Miguel, the way he reacted to them spending time together, the way he’s been so distant all week. He knows when Dan needs him, he’s here for him no matter what. Now he wonders if he dropped the ball. It looked like Dan needed space but maybe that was just Phil protecting himself, afraid to be open to what might be happening here. Leave it to Dan to find the complex emotional core to something Phil thought was so casual. Leave it to Dan to be two steps ahead.

 He wants to catch up, he really does, but nothing is clear. Dan is obviously feeling something, but Dan is always feeling something. Phil really doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. The one thing that sends Phil into a panic is the possibility of hurting Dan. And he would be lying if he said he was upset that Miguel didn’t make it. Having Dan to himself in this way feels like a gift, something he never knew he needed that suddenly feels vital. He doesn’t want it to end.

 “I just wanna hold you,” Phil says, “come here.”

 Dan lays his head in the space below Phil’s shoulder and Phil rakes his fingers through his curls, still damp from the shower.

 “Please tell me if I upset you Dan. I feel like all I do lately is upset you.”

 Dan’s lashes flutter over Phil’s skin, his finger traces a path along his rib cage and Phil waits for a response.

 “You haven’t upset me,” he finally says, “I just can’t stop my mind.”

 “You wanna tell me?” Phil asks, like he always does. “I’m here, Dan.”

 “I know. I know you’re here.” Dan reaches for Phil’s free hand and holds it close to his chest. He takes a few slow breaths and then, “This isn’t supposed to mean anything,” there’s a very pregnant pause before he adds, “but it does.”

 “It does?”

 “It means something to me.” Dan confirms. “I’m sorry Phil, I really fucked this up.” He rolls off of Phil and onto his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. Rolling toward him, Phil props up on his elbow to look down into Dan’s eyes.

 “You didn’t. It’s not fucked up. Of course it means something, Dan. You’re my best friend.”

 “I know.” Dan sounds shaky, “I’m just your best friend.” With those words, he rolls away, curling into himself, his back to Phil. The distance is too much, the absence is jarring, but he’s right there. Everything in Phil says hold on to him, he’s slipping away, don’t let him be alone.

 “Just my best friend.” Phil’s lips press to the back of Dan’s neck as he moves in close behind him. “You’re everything.” A factual statement spoken quietly, calmly. Phil hears the words leave his mouth and plays them again in his head before kissing Dan again and wrapping an arm around him. Best friend is an inadequate title for someone that he loves so unconditionally, someone he’d lay his life down for, someone that makes him feel invincible but is wholly honest about his humanity. After almost a decade, Phil’s heart still aches when Dan’s away, like a jigsaw piece of it has gone missing. “Please let me stay. We don’t have to do anything, just stay with me.”

 Time moves slowly when quiet sets in. Phil has pulled the duvet up over them, hoping to bring Dan some comfort. Dan doesn’t speak, he doesn’t move for god knows how long. Eventually though, his hand comes to rest over Phil’s and soon after that, he lets their fingers weave together. Their legs slot together perfectly once they both relax a bit. Ragged, emotional breaths turn slow and even until they sync and lull each other into sleep.

 Morning finds them in nearly the exact same position. Phil has shared enough hotel rooms with Dan to know the way he tosses and turns in his sleep but here he is, naked and so peaceful in his arms. Sunlight streaming in highlights the peach fuzz on his shoulders and Phil smiles. He’s one of the strongest people Phil knows but sometimes he seems so delicate. Carefully, he slips his hand from under Dan’s arm to pull the duvet up over those champagne colored shoulders. Dan’s other hand quickly reaches for the wandering arm, grabbing it above the elbow and pulling Phil back in.

 “Stay.” It’s barely discernible, just a sleepy grumble spoken from half sleep.

 “I’m not leaving,” Phil whispers, “just making sure you’re warm.”

 The answer is a sigh. They’ve always communicated without words and this is no different. For now, at least for Phil, they’ve said plenty. Every touch and glance and subtle movement that led them here spoke volumes. Dan will need words, there will need to be discussions, to clarify and define and shape everything into something tangible he can count on. Phil knows it and he’ll be more than happy to find the words that make it all ok for Dan. Not now though, right now he’ll do what he’s told. He’ll stay, drifting off to sleep while his mind searches for the signs he missed.

 ***

 Dan’s on the wrong side of the bed, he’s facing the wrong way, and he’s curled up on his side rather than sprawled out on his stomach with a leg dangled over the edge. It would feel very wrong except that he remembers falling asleep just like this, with Phil cuddled in close behind him. There’s no arm around his waist though, no breath rustling the short hairs on the back of his head. He reaches back and then quickly turns over. No Phil. For a second, he thinks he must have dreamed it all. But then, Miguel would be here, right? If the dream started after he cancelled, then that kiss was real, his towel falling away happened, all that talk about Dan being Phil’s favorite.

 OK so, it happened. It happened and now the panic can set in. He tries to remember everything he said, everything Phil said. He knows he hadn’t wanted to stop, he knows he stayed till the sun was up. You’re everything.

 But he’s gone. He sneaked back to his room before Dan woke up. They’re best friends, they mean the world to each other, and the chemistry is ridiculous. That’s it though, it was just sweet talk. He was just setting the scene for sex. Phil was awash in hormones, talking about their friendship, about Dan’s body. He wanted him, but not the way Dan wants Phil.

 Standing up, he stretches at the side of the bed. He’s never felt so naked in his own room. There are still joggers sitting on the dresser so he pulls them on and grabs a comfy jumper too. His towel hangs from the corner of the mattress and he throws it in the hamper, ignoring the flashes of memory it brings to the surface. He’d like to get some coffee in him before Phil gets up but he quickly realizes it’s too late for that. Three steps into the corridor, he nearly collides with Phil, who yelps and holds the mugs in his hands higher to avoid spilling.

 “No!” He whines, “Dan, go back to bed. I was bringing you coffee, you’re ruining it.” He nudges Dan with his shoulder till he’s turned back around and in seconds, he’s standing in his room, utterly confused.

 “What exactly is happening?”

 “You weren’t supposed to wake up alone, I’m sorry.” Phil pecks his lips and sets the coffees on the nightstand.

 Dan runs a hand through his curls and yanks a little, trying to ground himself. Phil is here, smiling so sweetly and giving a particular brand of kisses they’ve never exchanged before. Dan feels the warmth of it linger on his lips. Just a chaste little kiss. It wasn’t asking for anything, it wasn’t a step toward more, it was just a moment of connection. Phil is still half naked, still beautiful, glasses on, and he made coffee. He made coffee and then he took just a moment of connection from Dan and that fact has him reeling. This can only be good. Now if Dan could just allow himself to believe it.

 “Phil,” he begins cautiously, “I need to know that we’re ok. That you’re ok with everything I’m feeling. Even if I’m not sure what exactly it all means.”

 Phil turns to face him. “We’re ok,” he says with a gentle confidence. “We could never not be ok. It was so nice waking up in here, with you all naked and gorgeous. I could really get used to that.”

 “Yeah?” Dan is fighting his grin, trying to pace himself. “You can do that anytime, you know? Consider this an open invitation.”

 “Oh, you are gonna be so sick of me!” Phil giggles and pecks Dan’s lips again but Dan’s hand slips behind his head and holds him there, deepening the kiss. His lips part, taking Phil’s with them but he only gets a taste before Phil is pushing him away.

 “Oh no you don’t. Out of your clothes and into that bed right now, buster.”

 “But you’re so minty.” Dan says, forgetting himself.

 “You were meant to be awoken by kisses and the smell of fresh coffee, not instant, I’ll point out, and I intend to see that through.” Phil points to the bed wearing a stern expression Dan has definitely seen in a dream or two. He shoves his joggers down and pulls off the jumper before practically leaping into bed and covering up.

 “Alright, now pretend to be asleep.” Phil sounds way too excited.

 “Are you serious?”

 Another look and Dan huffs but he complies, rolling to face the window and curling up a bit. He closes his eyes and the bed dips behind him. Soon Phil’s arm is around him again, right where it should be. There’s warm skin pressed to his back, their legs tucked together like spoons.

 There’s a gentle kiss behind his ear. “Dan,” Phil whispers there, “Dan, it’s time to wake up.”

 Not yet, Dan thinks to himself, keep going. Another kiss below his earlobe and a gentle nibble, a tug to his earring. Phil leans over him now and there’s a kiss to his jaw, to his freckles, to the corner of his mouth. “Dan.” Another whisper.

 “Phil.” Dan breathes out. He rolls onto his back.

 “Coffee?” Phil says, so chipper now, and reaches for Dan’s mug. Sitting up against the headboard, Dan sips his coffee. The sun is beaming across the duvet and Phil’s hand is on his thigh. His heart is calm and content and it’s a strange sensation, something that’s been distant for some time. He has questions but they can wait. He leans his head on Phil’s shoulder.

 “This ok?”

 “Of course,” Phil says.

 “Thank you for the coffee,” Dan says. “Your hand feels nice. On my leg like that.”

 “You’re welcome,” Phil takes a sip before adding, “Your leg feels nice under my hand.”

 “Did it always feel this good to cuddle with you?” Dan asks.

 “It did for me. To cuddle with you, I mean,” Phil says, stumbling, “I don’t generally cuddle with myself.”

 Dan laughs quietly. “Well, you’re missing out. You are a premium cuddler. Ten out of ten, would cuddle again.”

 They sit in silence and drink their coffees. It’s nice, familiar. This is the way it always is minus the usual screen to stare at and with the addition of a flutter in Dan’s heart, more prominent than it is on the average morning. There’s also the small detail that Dan isn’t wearing any clothes, a fact he keeps forgetting. It’s Phil’s hand inching up his thigh that brings his current state of undress to the forefront of his mind.

 “Is it weird that I’m naked?”

 Phil laughs a bubbling, musical laugh that makes Dan want to jump into his arms. “Yeah Dan, I hate it when your naked. God it’s just awful to feel your soft skin under my fingers.” His voice drops lower and his hand drifts higher. “It’s terrible knowing your dick is right there.” His pinky reaches for just a brush of Dan’s not totally soft cock.

 He doesn’t go any further than that. Dan lifts his head, chewing his lip, a million possibilities playing in his head. “Phil,” Dan rests his head back on the wall and closes his eyes, “you’re so laid back about this but I’m scared shitless. I know you’re like, into this, but I don’t wanna just mess around. I told you it means something and it does.” He rubs his eyes till he see stars. “Isn’t a relationship just a really close friendship? What even makes someone in a relationship? Sex? Exclusivity?” He exhales noisily, his eyes still squeezed shut. “There’s something else, right? Like a feeling, a click, a spark?” His hand starts to shake slightly and he squeezes his fingers around Phil’s in an effort to still it. “I don’t want to fuck this up, there is nothing more important to me than you.” There’s a moment of quiet while Dan catches up to his racing mind. “Oh god, that’s it’s isn’t it?” He’s speaking a mile a minute now, “the spark. I mean I know that. But I didn’t mean to… It’s not my fault. You’re so wonderful. But if you don’t feel that way, I need to know because friendship can be enough if it has to be. And it’s already weird and you probably think I’m mental but like I want more and I just don’t know what you want cuz you’re always cute and kind and attentive and sexy and I can’t tell what’s real and I…” Phil’s hand comes up to cover Dan’s mouth, cutting him off.

 “Dan,” Phil leans forward so he can look straight at Dan who opens his eyes. “First of all, shut up. I know, I get it. It’s here, whatever it is, a spark or a click or whatever. I’m sorry I’m slow. Ok? I promise it will be ok, nothing is fucked up.”

 Dan’s cup is half empty or maybe it’s half full. In any case, he sets it aside and slides back down under the duvet, Phil follows suit.

There are a few strands of hair falling into Phil’s eyes so Dan brushes them away, his hand coming to rest over the sharp cut of his jaw.

 “You have nice angles.”

 Phil chuckles lightly. “Do I?”

 Dan nods. Now that he changed the subject, he wants to say one more thing. “You know what was really great?”

 “Hmm?”

 “Our first kiss.”

 “Ah yes,” Phil says with a slight grin, “I remember it like it was just a few days ago.”

 “Shut up,” Dan shoves his shoulder, “I mean it, that was an amazing kiss.”

 “The first of many, I hope.” Phil says, sinking back into that warm openness.

 They’ll never be a more perfect time than this so Dan curls his fingers to grip Phil’s jaw, tilting his face up toward the sunlight. He lifts his head slightly and brings their lips together. They kiss, savoring the feel of lips pressing together again and again. Slowly, they open to each other, their tongues dancing together with less and less patience until passion takes over and Phil nips at Dan’s bottom lip. Dan lays his head on his pillow and watches Phil stare into his eyes.

 “Phil?”

 “Yes?” Phil’s hands have found their way to Dan’s ass, as they are want to do these days. There’s nothing provocative in his touch, he’s just feeling the shape of him.

 “Last night,” Dan says, “you didn’t want to stop.”

 “I didn’t. But it’s ok. It was a good night.” He nuzzles closer to Dan’s neck and kisses a trail up and down the length of it.

 “It was good,” Dan manages though it takes a lot of focus to get words out with Phil’s lips on his neck and his hands on his ass and his chest pressed right up against Dan’s. “But, if you wanted to…”

 Phil’s eyes are closed now, he’s focused on his other senses, “wanted to?”

 Dan clears his throat, “if you wanted to... finish what we started. I mean, unless I made it weird.”

 Opening his eyes, Phil looks straight into Dan’s. “Of course you didn’t.”

 “Just, I took that long shower.” Dan can feel the heat rush to his cheeks. He knows he’ll be all pink in a second and he wants to hide but he won’t. Phil’s fingers come up to touch the apples of his cheeks.

 “Wouldn’t want to waste all that effort,” he says, “Are you sure?”

 “Are you sure?” Dan replies.

 Phil nods his head then, as if wanting to leave no room for ambiguity, says, “yeah, I’m sure Dan.”

 There are many Phils. There’s AmazingPhil and business Phil, friend Phil and family man Phil. And of course, there’s cocky, silver tongued Phil, always on when he needs to be, way too sexy for his own good. Dan has watched that Phil make countless men weak in the knees and now, he waits for that Phil to show up. He watches for a telltale twinkle, waits for those cute crooked lips to quirk up again but it doesn’t happen. His eyes search Dan’s expectantly, his lips are parted, relaxed. He’s not taking the lead, he’s not touching or rolling on top of Dan, he just waits.

 For once he looks vulnerable. Maybe, he’s felt it all along and he was just good at hiding it. Maybe this is is important enough that he’s willing to just be open. Dan knows it’s up to him. This breathtaking man is waiting for him to decide what he wants and act on it. So he does.

 ***

Phil will apologize for falling asleep later but Dan’s glad for the moment alone with his thoughts. He doesn’t mind Phil’s head resting in the nook of his shoulder either, even though his arm is trapped under his torso and going numb. Carefully, he manages to reach over to the nightstand with his other hand and grab his phone. Settling back onto his pillow, he pauses to be sure Phil is still deep in sleep before he types.

 Dan: I call bullshit

 Miguel: No idea what you’re talking about

 Dan: Professional opportunity? At 9pm on a Friday?

 Miguel: You don’t know what kind of parties I get invited to. I know very important people Dan. Big things are happening.

 Dan: Sure

 Miguel: Speaking of big things, how’s Phil?

 ...

 Dan: wow. You did that.

 Dan: Phil is nearly perfect

 Miguel: Did you talk to him?

 Dan: There was some discussion, yes. TBH, we didn’t spend much time talking.

 Miguel: Daniel! You little minx. He didn’t stand a chance. Your chemistry transcends conversation. Even Phil couldn’t keep cool in the face of your wiles.

 Dan: My what now? Those are not normal words. Good thing you’re a writer.

 Miguel: I’ll take that as a compliment. And I’m happy for you. Sorry I lied.

 Dan: I’m not.

 Dan: Oh yeah, we aren’t gonna make it to lunch.

 Miguel: Still in bed?

 Dan: Maybe

 Miguel: I love that. Rain check then.

 Dan: You’re still gonna come over sometimes, yeah?

 Miguel: I’d like to, yes. If you both want me to. Let’s just give you two some time. We can still hang out though, have lunch, in brightly lit public places. Lol

 Dan: lol

 Dan: Thank you Miguel. Seriously. Thank you.

Miguel: De nada

[spongeekat]

The 6 Times Peter Wanted To Reveal his Identity (And the 1 Time He Did) Chapter 3

Masterlist Here

Day 3 - Tuesday

Peter’s hand rubbed against the zipper track beginning above the curve of his spine, fingertips again coming up empty. His arms dropped uselessly against his side, groaning to audibly show his disappointment.

His zipper was there somewhere. He heard it dinging against the metal teeth up the length of his back, and if he kept feeling for it he would find it.

Peter yawned, tears peeking out from the corners of his eyes, as his fingers continued to prod in the small of his back. He was completely and utterly exhausted. The night previous perusing the city had been brimming with robberies, car jackings, and muggings, as if the slight increase in temperature prompted every convict to crawl out of their hiding spots to wreak havoc. He’d clawed himself into his bed sometime around 5 AM, caught 2 hours of sleep, and was out the door sprinting to class by 7:00. He was looking for any reason not to go on patrol, even if it was as minor as an unlocatable zipper, to at least give him a chance to rest for a few seconds.

His gloves eventually brushed the pull tab, and he deflated. Guess he had to finish suiting up. He tugged the zipper up to his neck and fiddled with the spandex momentarily, pulling it snug in all the right places.

That was, until a knock on his window pane had the tired boy jumping 5 feet in the air and throwing himself backwards into a defensive position on his furthest wall. His toes firmly drug to a stop on the wallpaper, one arm shooting out with his fingers ready to tap his web-shooters if need be. There was a muted scuffling behind the glass, though his curtains were drawn so he couldn’t see who was there. It didn’t take long to figure out, however.

“ Petey, Petey, Petey, Petee-eee-ey ~” The intruder was caroling his name to the tune of Jolene , repeating his knuckle raps obnoxiously to the beat of the song. “ I’m begging of you please just let me in. ”

“Wade?” Peter snapped as realization sunk in to his chest. It took seconds to calm his adrenaline-ridden heartbeat, more relieved that he wasn’t about to face a criminal than he was mad Wade had nearly sent him into cardiac arrest. He peeled himself silently off the wall, taking short, but annoyed, steps to stand behind the curtains without drawing them. “What the hell, dude? You scared the pants off of me. Why are you on my fire escape? And singing Dolly Parton?”

Wade hummed the rest of the verse to himself, presumably out of parodying song lyrics, before he started to whisper-yell. “Ignoring the fact I should totally make fun of you for what you said, I’m here to check up on you! I said I was going to keep those sweet cheeks safe. Can I come in?”

“Into my bedroom?” Peter asked, weakly, swallowing the suggestive- but intrusive- thoughts that the question entailed. “Um, I’m kinda...preoccupied.”

“Ooo oooh ?”

“Not like that!” Peter groaned, smacking a hand to blanket the reddening of his cheeks. God, he had to change, and fast. He tore the zipper undone he had put in so much effort to find, shoving the suit off his shoulders and hips. “Give me a second!” He kicked the rest of fabric off and lodged it under his bed, using a pillow for extra cover to be safe. His web shooters clattered into the lockable drawer on his desk, the cartridges following them. Shutting the drawer so hard it shuddered, he located the first clothing options in sight; a pair of fluffy pajama pants and an Einstein shirt 2 sizes too big (which was totally a gag gift from MJ months ago that he’d never put  away), which he shimmied into. Confident that he had probablyconcealed every Spidey related item in his panic, he drew open the curtains and flashed Wade an unimpressed look. And there he was, in his full-suited glory, hanging upside down on the rail of Peter’s fire escape as if it was a playset.

“I have a few questions.” Peter said as he pushed the glass open, the screen absent due to years of him climbing out for his nightly routine. Wade didn’t seem to notice- or at least didn’t comment on the lack of one- looking ecstatic that he even answered. “First...why didn’t you call to check up on me? Or use the front door?” He gestured vaguely towards the direction of the living room to accentuate his point.

“You barely texted me today.” Wade answered, curling so he was sitting on top of the bar and facing Peter. The sit-up made his muscles bulge in the leather covering his thighs and abdomen and Peter inhaled carefully to maintain a level expression. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t lonely. Also, I missed you.”

“Good to know.” Peter rolled his eyes, watching Wade drop to hang upside-down childishly. “Just come in. You’re gonna break the rails.”

“Me? Getting on the VIP list to Peter’s bedroom? I feel like I got a golden ticket! Move aside, Willy Wonka!” Wade dropped himself to his hands, flipped ungracefully on his feet, and followed Peter’s lead to let him crawl inside the apartment. His muddy boots hit the carpet and he managed to pull his entire body inside the small opening. He paused upon straightening up, giving his bedroom the same scrutinizing examination he had to the living room his first time visiting. “Never mind. I wanna go outside again. You’re messy, and that’s something coming from me.”

Peter stared at him silently. The mercenary shrugged and half-lept to fall on top of his mattress. “Kidding. It’s cute. It fits you.”  

Peter did his best to ignore the creaking noise of his bed, making his way to his office chair to sit across the room. “I appreciate the housecall, but is that the only reason you came? I actually was kinda in the middle of something.”

“I’m hurt. I brought home-cooked meals and you already wanna kick me out?” Wade gasped in faux-pain, pulling off his pink Hello Kitty backpack. He drew out a grocery bag filled with containers, setting it beside the foot of the bed.

Peter was taken aback, a slightly stunned expression passing over his face. His outward appearance hardly changed, yet his stomach churned nervously at the thoughtful gesture. “You cook?”

“Nah, they’re frozen, but I make a mean pancake in case you’re ever interested. It’s the thought that counts though, right?”

“Thanks.” Peter rubbed his forearm, finding anywhere else to look to avoid staring at Wade.

“Soooo, what’s a kid like you busy doing tonight?” Wade asked as he stretched out across his comforter, propping his feet up on his mattress. “Playing games? Watching porn? Still wallowing about that ex-girlfriend that’s pregnant with someone else’s money-burner?”

“What? No, there’s no ex-girlfriend, dude, I already said that.” Peter muttered, struggling not to let his vision wander to his Spidey suit shoved  beneath Wade’s sitting place. “I have a lot of homework I have to catch up on.”

“Boooo-oring.” Wade kicked a few of his pillows aside, rolling onto his side as his bed squeaked again. Peter desperately needed that noise to stop if he was going to guard his sanity.

“Okay, well, this was a great visit and all, but you can text me next time you wanna play therapist, okay?” Peter pushed himself to his feet, walking over to offer his hand to Wade to help him up. He stood there a moment with no reaction, Wade seemingly refusing to accept it, instead sitting up on his own.

“Do you seriously want me to go?” Wade asked, a weird tone ebbing into his voice. Was he confused? Disappointed? Peter wasn’t .

“I-I mean, yeah, I already said I was busy.” He was trying to not sound as annoyed as he felt, but his throat was taut with irritation. It wasn’t quite with Wade, though, because he was trying to be nice. Mostly he was upset with himself; with his inability to execute with his plans that had landed him in a difficult situation he couldn’t imagine resolving without either or both of them ending up hurt; with his emotions that were so intense they were painful, only made worse by the fact Wade was acting so generous to him outside of his superhero identity; and with the fact Wade knew his name, his family situation, and where he lived. Yet he still wasn’t able to bring himself to say that simple sentence.

I’m Spider-Man.

He’d been ready to lay it all out on the line two days ago, albeit with hesitancy, but somehow he had convinced himself that Wade might actually start to reciprocate his feelings if he knew the man behind the mask. His gaze trailed to the plastic bag still resting on the mattress. He had gone out of his way to care for him multiple times. He might be a fun project for Wade to pass the time, but Peter didn’t think he would go this far for some kid he found fun to mess with.

Peter’s eyelids screwed shut, his mind piecing together a way to confront the issue. He could ask him why he was hanging around, and hopefully conversation would naturally circulate back to Sunday night. “H-Hey, Dea-”

“I’ll get out of your hair.” Peter suddenly felt the air change and Wade was towering him, his much larger frame barely an inch from his chest. He had to turn his head up at a steep angle to look at him. There wasn’t the usual humor in his words, and his body language was a lot more tense. Terrific. An upset Wade was never fun. He always had to dig to even get a hint of what was bothering him.

“What?” Peter blinked, watching as Wade shimmied passed him to grab his pack and sling it on his shoulder.

“You said you had stuff to do. I can tell when I’m a problem, Petey-Sweetie. Glad to see you didn’t off yourself today. Good job on that.” Wade shoved the window he had come in open, poking a leg out so that it connected with the grate of the fire escape. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

Peter chewed on his lower lip, his confession filed away in a queue of things to tell Wade in the future. He gave a short nod, guilt immediately radiating in the pit of his abdomen. “Thanks...for this all. Sorry to cut this so short. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“You better. I’ll be waiting.” Wade dropped his pack out the sill, waiting for it to clang against the metal, then ducked his body out of the small cavity. He grabbed his bag, moved to grip onto the ladder leading down into the darkness, then craned his neck to shout one last thing. “You  should get a window screen. You’ll get spiders or ants in your room if you leave it open like this.”

Peter suppressed a spurt of ironic laughter, settling for an amused half-smile instead. “I’ll remember that. Goodnight, Deadpool.”

His weight made the ladder rattle and bang on the poles obnoxiously, probably annoying every other neighbor underneath him, until the sound disappeared and Wade had run off. Once Peter wasn’t able hear his boots scraping the asphalt he pulled his curtains shut, finally feeling able to breathe.

He bent to grab the meal containers, to put them in the freezer before he left for his patrol. It was quite the stock of food, enough to stop him from starving for the rest of the week that Aunt May was absent, and his stomach growled in appreciation.

Maybe he’d see Wade on patrol as Spider-Man, and they’d converse with the comfortable familiarity that had developed naturally between them through years. Wade would make some flirtatious joke, along with one about the spider being his hero that had the strength punch him into another timeline, and they’d team up and be on their way. Peter would be able to feel like his strong, normal self. They’d be friends and superheroes, and not a weak kid and his supposed guardian angel. No lies hanging heavily between them.

He’d muse on Wade’s kindness, that he didn’t deserve, later. For now, he pulled his spidey suit out  and started dragging it up his legs. He had a city to protect, people to save, and his angst would have to be put on reserve for another day.

[allthings-sandy]

Not What I Expected Chapter 6

Words: 2.1k

Summary: (Y/N) just wants to be a normal girl and go to school like every other teenager. She got her chance but only to look after a certain superhero in Queens.

MASTERLIST

School has been boring without Peter and Ned by my side. I’ve been hanging out with Michelle but it just didn’t feel the same. Whatever anyone said, whether during class or not, I couldn’t stop thinking about Peter. Him nor Ned were texting or calling me so I had to live with constant worry for the past few days. I had no idea what Peter was up to, he could be captive somewhere or seriously injured or he was killed and his body was dumped in a ditch. The possibilities were endless. I didn’t know until I saw the news.

‘ May! Is he here yet??’ I asked as I ran up to her. Like her, many others were in the school compound, waiting for the arrival of their loved ones after hearing about the attack in Washington.

‘ Not yet. Oh God, I hope he’s alright.’ May said with shaking hands. I grabbed both of her hands.

‘ He’ll be fine. That boy is a lot stronger than you think.’ I reassured her. She nodded slightly before looking past me. She got ahold of my wrist and dragged me to the boy in the blue sweater who I instantly recognised as soon as I laid my eyes on him.

‘ Peter. Come here.’ She said as she let go of my wrist to hug him. Peter saw me and let go of May with wide eyes.

‘ (Y/N)? Wha-What are you doing here?’ Peter asked.

‘ May got ahold of my contact and called me. She said I needed to be here.’ I told him.

‘ I’ll wait in the car. Just take all the time you need.’ May said and walked in the direction where her car was parked.

‘ What happened? Why the hell didn’t you call me? Do you know how long I was moping around for because I didn’t know if you were dead or something?’ I told him. His guilty look tuned into a little smile.

‘ You were that worried about me?’ He asked.

‘ Yes!’ I shouted at him, my tears on the verge of falling.

‘ There, there.’ He said and brought me in for a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and my hand slowly crept up to hug him back as a tear ran along my cheek.

‘ It’s just the hormones.’ I whispered loud enough so he could hear me.

‘ Sure it is.’ Peter said as he tightened his grip around me. He loosened his grip and moved his hands to my shoulders.

‘ Look, the reason Ned and I didn’t tell you anything was because I didn’t want you to worry. But I guess that backfired. I’m sorry.’ He said all too earnestly.

‘ I forgive you. Just… don’t scare me and I’ll be fine.’ I said to him and he smiled, making my heart flutter.

‘ You should go. I don’t want to make May to wait forever.’ I said.

‘ We can fetch you back if you want.’ Peter offered. As much as I wanted to, I declined.

‘ No, thank you. I rode my bike here and I don’t want to trouble you and May.’ I said as I walked backwards slowly.

‘ Okay. See you tomorrow.’ Peter said and waved and saw me off until I exited the compound on my bike. Somehow, Peter was acting strange today. It was weird but in a nice kind of way.

On the way to my room, I received a text from my dad

Hey honey just letting you know I’m sending the FBI to Staten Island Ferry to catch the guys who’re making the weapons so rest assured everything will be fine. Love you.

I smiled at the text and quickly texted back.

Thanks love you too.

The next day in school, the halls were bustling with students talking about Spider-Man and what he did in Washington. Well, good for him. People were really starting to notice him.

‘ You must be really happy Spidey’s finally getting recognized.’ I said to him after bumping into him in the hallway.

‘ Yeah, it’s pretty weird. Once Mr. Stark sees it, it increases the chance of me being able to go on missions!’ He said excitedly. I couldn’t help but smile at him.

‘ Dude, what is it like being famous when no one knows its you?’ Ned asked Peter as he rushed towards us.

‘ Crazy dude.’

‘ Should we tell everyone?’ Ned asked.

‘ No.’ Peter said and shook his head.

‘ Should I tell everyone?’ Ned asked again.

‘ Ned, no, a secret is still a secret.’ I told Ned.

‘ Guys, I gotta go I’m gonna be late for class. Bye.’ I said and waved before turning the opposite direction. I wish I stayed for the conversation.

‘ Hey (Y/N)! Peter got detention!’ Ned exclaimed as he ran over to me after spotting me in the hallway.

‘ What? Why?’ I asked in astonishment. Peter is not the kind of guy who would get detention.

‘ Principal Morita overheard Peter talk about skipping class. Peter is obsessed with finding that Vulture guy.’ Ned told me as we walked.

‘ So he wanted to leave?’

‘ Yeah, he said that the Avengers are moving upstate so when he brings the guy in he might go with them.’ Ned said.

‘ So he’s just going to drop out of school? He may not know this but school is pretty amazing.’ I said with my arms spread wide open. Ned furrowed his eyebrows and gave me a confused look.

‘ Well, whatever it is, he’s probably going to search for that guy again and soon.’ Ned said and I gulped. I couldn’t help but feel like something’s going to happen. Something bad.

I walked past the classroom where they held detention and Peter was nowhere to be seen.

‘ Peter left, if you were wondering.’ Michelle looked up from her sketchbook and told me. I thanked her and ran out of school. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked for Peter’s contact number.

‘ I’m a little busy right now.’ Peter said in a panicked voice immediately after picking the call up. I heard screaming and shouts of various people through the phone.

‘ Peter, where are you??’ I asked him. My eyebrows were unconsciously furrowed as I gripped my phone waiting for his answer.

‘ Somewhere! You don’t really need to know…’ Peter’s voice trailed off. I then heard something like a ship horn sounding off through the phone.

‘ Peter-’

‘ End call!.’ He exclaimed and I was left with the disconnected phone sound.

‘ Peter and I are going to be in so much trouble.’ I thought. I took my bike and rode as fast as I could. After a while, I arrived at the terminal. From afar, I could see a ferry with large amounts of smoke coming from it and was surrounded by helicopters. I looked around and saw Peter sitting at the edge of the building. I abruptly placed my bicycle near a pole and ran as fast as I could with my energy focused on my legs. All my rationality was lost, I couldn’t think straight. I had forgotten all about my identity and at that moment, I didn’t mind Peter finding out who I was. All I wanted was for him to be safe. I was hoping I would arrive before my dad but unfortunately, I didn’t.

‘ (Y/N)?’ Peter said as I emerged from the door of the roof. My dad was here. Like physically here. He looked at me with stern eyes. Why did I have to care so much about Peter that I would risk exposing myself? I honestly had no clue.

‘ I asked you to watch him. What the hell were you doing?’ My dad asked as he stood in front of me. All I did was look down. I’d never seen him this angry before.

‘ You don’t have to blame her, it was my fault.’ Peter said as he came in between me and my dad.

‘ She…’ Dad pointed at me. ‘ … is not who you think she is. She is my daughter. I sent her to look after you but she did a terrible job.’ He said and looked at me.

‘ Peter, I can expla-‘

‘ So it was all a bunch of lies? It all makes sense to me. You were so calm when you found out I was Spider-Man because you already knew.’ Peter exasperated with a face that had just been betrayed.

‘ I’m sorry.’ I said and that was all I could say.

‘ I’m going to need the suit back.’ Dad said to Peter.

‘ No, no, no please this is all I have. I’m nothing without this suit.’ Peter pleaded. Peter was heartbroken. Even the thought of having the suit taken away from him for a little while was devastating. But no, my dad was taking it away from him for good.

‘ If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.’ Dad said sternly. My dad handed him clothes to wear. Peter reluctantly took it.

‘ Dad please, you don’t have to do this.’ I held my dad’s hands tightly.

‘ So you’re telling me he won’t do something like this ever again? That he won’t ever go against my orders ever again? I’m not taking my chances.’

After being handed the Spider-Man suit, Dad entered the suit and was about to grab me and I stepped back.

‘ Just give me a few minutes. I need to talk to Peter. Privately.’ I told him. He sighed.

‘ 2 minutes.’ He said and flew away to give us some privacy.

‘ I have nothing to say to you.’ Peter said bitterly without looking at me. It was like my heart got stabbed with a knife.

‘ The only reason I agreed to keep an eye on you was so I could attend school. I just wanted to feel like a normal teenager for once. And to prove to my dad that I could do more than be in captivity in my own house. Not everything was a lie. I loved that you and Ned were my friends. I’m sorry I lied to you. But me worrying about you all the damn time wasn’t a lie. I…’

‘ Okay time’s up.’ My dad reappeared behind me before I got the chance to confess. I gave it a moment or two for Peter to look back at least once but he didn’t.

‘ Wait.’ Peter said. My heart thumped excitedly with the expectations of him forgiving me and more. But those expectations were ultimately crushed when he took off the necklace I gave him.

‘ I won’t be needing this anymore.’ He said as he held it out for me to take.

‘ Just throw it away.’ I said after I turned my back. I couldn’t bear to look at him.

Without another word, my dad and I took off, leaving Peter to stand on the roof with his head hung low.

‘ Why didn’t you tell me? All this could have been avoided if you would have just told me everything.’ My dad scolded me once we got to the new facility.

‘ I’m sorry for not telling you the truth. But I’m not sorry for not stopping Peter. You just don’t realise the potential he has! For once, I think I’m right! You never believed in me, so how could I just tell you Peter could do it without you telling me I was wrong??’ I shouted at him, tears threatening to fall.

‘ That’s where you’re wrong. I believed you could do this one thing for me. Did you know I was in the middle of making your suit? I was going to have you on the field because I know your ready. Steve says you’re not making any progress, but in my eyes, you are so beyond what you think.’ Dad said.

‘ So is that why you care more about Peter? Telling me to keep him out of danger instead of telling me?’ I asked as a tear fell. My dad saw and pulled me in for a hug.

‘ I care about you. More than that kid. I just knew you would be able to take care of yourself, that’s all. I’m sorry.’ My dad apologised and hugged me tighter. I raised my arms to hug him back.

‘ I’m sorry too. And Dad?’ I looked up at him. ‘ I think I’ll drop out of school. I’m pretty sure Peter hates me now. I don’t want to remind him about the things that just happened.’ I told him.

‘ Are you sure?’ My dad asked me. I didn’t want to cause Peter anymore pain than he already felt. He deserves so much more than a friend like me.

‘ Yeah.’

[txnysheart]

let’s get on with living (while we can) [2]

chapter 2: words don’t reach

word count: 4000

warnings: cancer, angst, crying, it’s just kinda sad i guess hahah

summary: peter gets his diagnosis

read on ao3: x

playlist: x

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 8 - chapter 9

series masterlist | masterlist

━━━━━━━━

Peter flinched slightly when a door opened. A man in a white coat called his name, but he stayed in his seat until Steve and Tony pulled him up with them. The longer he could put this off the better. Avoidance seemed safer than confirmation. With his head down, he walked into the doctor’s office, sitting down in the chair the man gestured to. After having shaken his hand, Tony and Steve sat down as well, one on each side of their son.

“So, I’ve been looking at the CT scan. What I want to do is to have a PET scan of your lungs and then tomorrow we need to take a biopsy. Do you know what that is, Peter?”

He looked up. “Yeah, but not… I don’t know how when it’s the lungs.”

“I’m going to put a small tube up in your nose and then down into your lungs.” The doctor noticed Peter looking very uncertain. “And I’m not going to lie to you. It’s not comfortable. But you can have some medication to make you calm, some local anaesthetic in your throat and I’ll get it done as quickly as I possibly can. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Peter whispered, clearing his throat. He really wasn’t looking forward to any of that. He just wanted to be back in his bed and stay there forever.

That’s what he pretended he was doing when they got back home after his PET scan. If he wished hard enough, maybe - just maybe - time would stop and tomorrow would never come. He’d never have to go take that biopsy and the world would just stop and he’d be okay. Frozen in time.

He only ate dinner because he knew his throat would hurt after the biopsy and he didn’t want an aching, empty stomach on top of that. And he only fell asleep because it was on accident. He was cuddled up to Tony who was running his fingers gently through his hair. His feet were on Steve’s lap who was rubbing them softly. It was as if it were a perfectly executed plan to soothe him to sleep.

Little did he know that they’d actually planned it. No joke. They knew their son well enough to be worried he might not fall asleep at all if he were alone in his own bed.

Even though Peter knew he shouldn’t fall asleep on the couch, he couldn’t help it. He was exhausted after not sleeping the previous night. So he dozed off rather quickly.

“I think we can move him now,” Tony whispered, having been paying attention to his breathing and his facial expression. He looked peaceful and was taking slow breaths. Steve got up slowly and bent down, picking up Peter. He frowned. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right at all.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asked when he had stood up, facing his husband.

Steve just frowned and held Peter out for Tony to take him. With a confused look on his face, he took his son in his arms and immediately realized what was wrong. Before speaking, he looked at Peter to make sure he was deeply sleeping.

“He’s too light,” he whispered, noticing how his arms weren’t aching even a little under the weight. There was a considerable difference since the last time he had carried him to bed, and that was just weeks earlier. A shared look between the couple had Tony walk steadily into their bedroom with the boy. They didn’t want him to be alone through the night, so they put him in their bed before walking back to the living room.

“How haven’t we noticed?” Tony asked, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder who readjusted them so his head was on his chest instead.

“I wish I knew, honey.”

“It’s like he’s… like he’s already wasting away in front of us.”

“Why him? Why Peter?”

“I’m gonna be the sane one for once and just tell you right away that if we start asking that question, we’re gonna drive ourselves crazy trying to come up with an explanation when… when we know there isn’t one.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighed, dragging a hand over his face. What more were they supposed to say? The next few days seemed like they would last for years and years. Their entire lives could be turned upside down.

Peter was trying really hard not to cry. He really was. But having a tube down in his lungs proved to feel so awful that he couldn’t help the tears that ran down his cheeks. His dads were trying their best to comfort him; Tony playing with his hair, whispering encouragements to him, and Steve letting the boy squeeze his hand as hard as he needed to.

“Okay, that should be it. I’ll be pulling the tube back up now. In just a few seconds, you’re done,” the doctor explained softly, doing everything he could to make it better for Peter. Not able to do much more, Peter just let out a small, choked sound of confirmation. The doctor pulled on it, and once it went up his throat, he dry heaved a little. When it was out, he coughed violently and winced at the sore feeling in his throat.

“Good job, sweetheart,” Tony praised, drying away his tears. “Not many people handle it as well as you just did, Peter,” the doctor said with a gentle smile which Peter returned. “The results will be ready in 3 days, maximum. I’ll give you a call and let you know when to come in. We’re all done here for today. Remember; soft, cool foods. Nothing hot and spicy,” he reminded them.

“Thank you, doctor,” Steve said as he stood up, shaking his hand firmly. Tony just nodded at him politely, not wanting to leave Peter’s side. They left the doctor’s office and Tony drove them all home.

────────

“Can I go to school tomorrow?” Peter croaked after having sat on the couch silently watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine for almost an hour. Tony almost flat out refused, but caught himself before he could. There had to be a reason.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Just wanna feel normal, I guess.” Tony and Steve shared a look, coming to an agreement with small nods and facial expressions. “Sure. But you gotta take it easy, okay? No gym class for you. I’ll write you a note,” Steve smiled and got up. “What do you say to ice cream for dinner? You up for that, Petey?” he asked, making Peter grin. “Yeah,” he chuckled, voice hoarse, and followed him into the kitchen.

For a moment, Tony just had to sit there. To pull himself together. His mind was always looking for worst case scenario. He wished he could turn that off. Stop the thoughts; the constant buzzing in his head. If he hadn’t had Steve to talk with, he might’ve gone insane a long time ago.

────────

At school, Ned asked why Peter sounded so hoarse. Peter just said it was from all the coughing, and got away with it. He felt bad leaving Ned alone in gym class, but he didn’t really have a choice. The teacher sent him to the library and told him to do his homework instead. Other than that, he was happy to have a completely normal day at school.

When he got home, he begged to go the next day as well, and they let him. The day after that though, the doctor called and told them to come.

Walking into the office, Peter actually registered the doctor in his mind fully. He had seen him often enough lately to recognize him anywhere, and had a feeling he’d be seeing him a lot more in the future. He was a little shorter than Steve, had brown hair with gray streaks in it, and looked to be somewhere in his fifties. His name was Doctor Miller.

“Have a seat,” he said, waiting to sit down himself until the family were settled in the three chairs in front of his desk. “How is your throat feeling?” he asked, looking at the boy. “It’s alright,” he mumbled, feeling his palms were sweaty. He dried them on his jeans again and again and again.

“Right. Several doctors have looked at your scans and the tests.” He took a deep breath, looking at them with serious eyes. “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, Peter, but we’re all sure that you have lung cancer. It’s already stage four, so there will be more tests…”

Terror. All Peter could feel was terror, and he tuned everything out. If the doctor was still talking, he couldn’t hear it. Stage four. He knew that was the last stage. The last stage.

I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die

I don’t wanna go

Numb.

He felt a hand on his arm and only stood because someone pulled him up.

Steve held at least half of Peter’s weight to keep him from tumbling to the floor. All the things he witnessed during the war, watching Bucky fall from the train, being frozen. Nothing could compare to what he was feeling when the doctor confirmed the worst of all of his fears. He was so scared. He had never been that scared before.

It’s already spread to his liver.

We have to scan his entire body, lung cancer can spread almost anywhere.

I don’t want to say anything about how long until we have a complete overview of his cancer.

Hearing those things being said about his son - his baby - made Tony decide that ‘cancer’ was the ugliest word on earth and he never wanted to hear it again. He wanted so desperately to fix this. That’s what he did. Fix things. And now he couldn’t even fix the one thing that mattered the most to him.

It made his fingers itch. When they got home, all he wanted was to lock himself in his lab and fix something. But he stopped himself. That’s what he always did. He couldn’t do that this time. No matter how much his heart was aching or his eyes stinging, he would never leave Peter’s side. Would never do anything to hurt his kid.

Happy had driven them home, holding back his tears. None of them had needed to utter a single word. He could just tell by the looks on their faces. All three of them squeezed together in the backseat, Peter in the middle with blank eyes. “Has he dissociated?” Steve asked, voice as steady as he could possibly manage. “God, I hope not,” Tony whispered, “he’s probably just in shock.” He held back a sob. Peter wasn’t crying. Neither of the men liked it.

Back in the tower, Pepper and Rhodey had cleared their schedules for the day, knowing well that with how much they were worrying about Peter, they wouldn’t get anything done. So they just sat with each other, not sure if they should be trying to distract themselves from the constant Peter Peter Peter Peter in their heads or if they should just let it take over. Upon hearing the elevator doors open, Pepper latched onto Rhodey’s hand. In any other circumstance, he would’ve laughed. But when it came to Peter, he knew she cared about him as much as he did. And he needed the comfort of a close friend as well, so he squeezed her hand, holding on tight.

She only let go when she saw the distant look in Peter’s eyes. Not even bothering to hide the fear in her eyes, she looked to Steve and Tony. Pepper had known Tony for years, so when she saw the complete broken, defeated look on his face, she just knew it was bad. Rhodey could tell too.

But what to say?

The five of them just stood there. Heartbroken. Scared. Rhodey took a breath to ask them. Tony noticed and interrupted him before he could even speak. “Lung cancer. Stage four.”

“Four?” Pepper’s voice broke, eyes filling with tears.

“How-”

Tony interrupted Rhodey again. “He wouldn’t say. We need more scans before he can…”

“Peter?” the woman attempted, as gentle as she could. She didn’t get a reaction. Taking two steps forward, she cupped his face. And she smiled in a way that if you didn’t know them, you’d think she was his mother. “Peter.” He blinked slowly and met her eyes. “Hi, honey. Are you here with us?” she asked, afraid that he’d dissociated. He nodded and squeezed his eyes shut before looking at her again. His eyes seemed clearer for a second before they became clouded with tears.

A raw sob tore through his throat and he just hid his face in Pepper’s shoulder. She held him tight, stroking his back comfortingly, but now that Peter couldn’t see her anymore, the fear was back on her face. Her wide eyes darted between Steve and Tony who looked on wordlessly. And Peter cried loudly, his sobs tearing at everyone’s hearts. They were all so lost.

Tony was wishing he could take Peter’s place. Little did he know that everyone in the room was thinking the same thing.

“Sorry,” Peter mumbled when he pulled back, wiping at the tears that wouldn’t stop. “Don’t apologize,” Pepper whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

When he turned around to look at his dads, he might as well have been five years old. His eyes were so wide and scared and uncertain. “Baby,” Tony whimpered, barely able to keep it together. And then Peter was back to sobbing, this time stumbling into Dad and Pops’ arms, almost unable to breathe.

Quietly, Rhodey and Pepper left the room, keeping their sobs at bay until they knew the small family couldn’t hear them anymore. Pepper dropped to a crouch, covering her mouth with her hands. “Come on,” Rhodey encouraged, voice shaky, as he grabbed her arms to pull her up. She straightened her legs and the two of them looked at each other for just a second before he pulled her in for a hug. They stood there and cried. Together. It was better than alone.

Happy hadn’t even left the car. He didn’t know how bad it was. He wasn’t sure if he could take it. After god knows how much time had passed, he spoke up. “FRIDAY?”

“Yes, sir, what can I do for you?”

“Play footage of… of them telling…”

“I understand,” she said, sounding too emotional for an AI and displayed what Happy had asked for.

“Lung cancer. Stage four.”

“Four?”

“How-”

“He wouldn’t sa-”

That was enough. It took him a minute to actually, fully realize what he had just heard, but when he did, he burst out crying too.

“I’m scared,” Peter cried, grabbing a fistful of Steve’s shirt. “I know, sweetheart, I know.” We are too. But he didn’t want to scare him even more. With his arms around both Tony and Peter, he carefully guided them towards the bedroom. As much as he hated the thought, he was almost certain Peter would cry himself to sleep. The only thing he could do was to get all of them to bed and just hold each other there. Hold Peter. Comfort Peter.

He cried for much longer than they had anticipated. It had to be hours. None of them checked. But one thing was clear; Peter hadn’t just cried himself to sleep. He had cried himself to exhaustion. Tony and Steve had woken up just a few minutes ago and were looking at him. So calm. He was just Peter. Peter with dried tear tracks on his face and puffy eyes, but, still, he looked so normal. Peaceful. They were both dreading him waking up because they knew he would be back to hurting. Back to being scared.

A small, almost unnoticeable smile prompted by something in a dream was what almost broke Steve. Choking back a sob, he covered his mouth with a hand for a second and made eye contact with his husband. He opened his mouth as if to say something, gesturing helplessly to Peter. “I know,” Tony whispered, tears running down his face yet again. Steve almost began torturing himself with ‘why him?’ before remembering what his husband had said to him. Instead, he tortured himself with thinking about Peter wasting away in front of their eyes. That was almost worse than ‘why him?’. Peter was already thinner. He didn’t like the fact that he could so easily feel each individual rib. Tony noticed what was going on and pulled Steve’s hand into his own instead. “I know,” he repeated, pressing a light kiss to the side of Steve’s wrist.

────────

FRIDAY woke them up the next morning, making sure they wouldn’t miss Peter’s appointment to have more scans taken of him. Tony groaned as he stretched his limbs out and looked to his left. Steve was still sleeping. Peter was staring at the roof, but clung to Tony once he noticed he had woken up.

Two seconds. That’s what he got of holding Peter before remembering why he was in their bed at all. “Hey, Petey. You been awake for long?” he asked with a soft voice. Peter just shook his head in response. “Alright, sweetie. We gotta wake up Pops, let’s crush him,” Tony smiled, trying his best to create a light atmosphere. He almost couldn’t hear it, but Peter huffed out a breath. He hoped it was a laugh.

Gently, he pushed Peter towards Steve, the boy responding with doing what he always did when he slept in their bed and Steve was the last one asleep; he climbed over him and let his arms go out so he collapsed on top of him. Because that was normal. He wanted to feel normal. Steve awoke with a small groan. “Oh, another blanket? Thanks, honey, I was feeling kinda cold,” he joked as he wrapped his arms around Peter. The same thing he’d done every single time before that. It made Peter let out a small, but genuine, laugh.

Despite the ache in his heart, - in his whole body, really - Steve kept a happy front. And he tried not to think about how Peter shouldn’t be that light. How his ribs were so noticeably digging into his own. Where they’d be going in less than an hour.

────────

All traces of normal were gone.

It’s spread to his brain.

We have to start chemo as soon as possible.

One year.

One single, way too short, year. That’s what they got. In a year, their kid would be-

As soon as Peter’s diagnosis was clear, Tony and Steve quickly made the decision that they’d be moving to the compound. There, they’d have a private team of doctors and other specialists - anyone who could make Peter better. The only thing Peter didn’t like about that was leaving Ned and MJ behind, but his dads assured him that they could come visit anytime.

But first, he had to tell them. He hadn’t talked to either of them since the days he had begged to go to school. His phone was dead. It had been for a while and he didn’t want to turn it back on. Happy picked them up from school, and Peter was anxious. He couldn’t stop touching his thumb to each of the other fingers, one at a time. Index, middle, ring, pinky, pinky, ring, middle, index, one, two, three, four, four, three, two, one, one, two-

“They’re on their way up,” Steve told him, a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. Peter nodded, not stopping his counting. “Listen,” Steve knelt in front of him, “we’ll be there with you. If you can’t tell them yourself, we’ll help you. Okay?” As if on queue, Tony walked into the room, plopping down next to Peter, and Steve got up from the floor, sitting on the couch with them. The ding from the elevator made Peter tense up, but was soon soothed by fingers drawing figures on his back.

Ned and MJ looked confused and worried and upset as they approached the three of them. Peter sent them an apologetic smile. “Dude, what’s been going on? You just disappeared on us,” Ned began, not sounding angry at all. Just anxious. MJ just observed with furrowed eyebrows. She couldn’t figure it out. She just knew she didn’t like the look on any of the three faces in front of her.

“You should sit down,” Steve said, gesturing to the two lounging chairs facing them. They did as they were told, both of them leaning forward; far from relaxed enough to lean back and enjoy the soft fabric.

“What is it?” MJ finally asked after several - too many, in her opinion - silent seconds. She didn’t bother hiding any emotion in her voice as she so often did and it made Peter flinch inwardly. He cleared his throat. “The… the reason I’ve been… away is- uh- I ha-”, he muttered a curse under his breath, “I-I can’t, Dad.” His voice made it clear he was on the verge of tears; high pitched and almost breaking.

The two teens watching felt their stomachs ache. It was bad. It had to be. Peter was almost crying and Steve was looking at his feet and Tony held onto his left wrist as he took an unsteady breath.

“This is gonna be… difficult to hear, you’re allowed to react in any way that feels natural,” Tony opened with. MJ’s lower lip shook slightly. “As you know, Peter’s been sick for a while. At first, we thought it was just a bug. Then, he got pneumonia. And, uh… after that he went to the doctor for his coughing. Turns out it wasn’t just a bug.” A dry laughter laced with pain escaped him. “He has lung cancer with spreading to the liver and the brain. It’s stage four.”

“What?” Ned blurted out. It took a second before his eyes filled with tears, and he was frantically wiping them away. “No, but- what? Not- Peter, I- you-”

“How long?” MJ choked out, interrupting Ned. Steve opened his mouth to answer, but Peter was quicker. “A year,” he whispered. Those two words made MJ cry; it was the first time Peter had seen that, and he only needed three tears to come to the conclusion that he didn’t like it at all. An ugly sob tore its way up through Ned’s throat and Peter hated it. He hated seeing his friends in pain. Especially when he was the root of it. It made him stand up. Ned and MJ followed suit. They met in the middle in a bone crushing hug filled with tears, sobs, whispers and shaky breaths.

He wanted to enjoy the hug. A part of him did. But he didn’t like how not normal it was. How this would never have happened if everything was okay. None of them seemed to know what to say, so Peter felt better when he had managed to steer both of them to the couch. He turned on the TV and the PlayStation, handing out their designated controllers and they played Mario Kart. That felt normal. They always did that. While they weren’t yelling at each other, as they so very often did, Peter was more than pleased to just smile and laugh with them.

The two adults watched them from the kitchen; smiles on their faces too. Barely noticeable, but they were there. “Can we just stay in this moment forever?” Tony whispered, leaning into his husband’s side. “That’d be something,” Steve agreed as he pulled Tony close, none of them taking their eyes off of Peter. Pure, bright, selfless, brilliant Peter who deserved the world. Soon - too soon - he wouldn’t even be in that world. The world that was so much better off with Peter. Anyone who knew him would agree.

[alicemoonwonderland]

The Thief’s Jewel - Part Two

Part Two of the Thief’s Jewel

[Part 1] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12]

Fandom: The Hobbit Pairing: Nori x Jaida (Orignal Fem!Character) Rating: NSFW for later chapters

Tagging: @atlerion @themissimmortal @insomniacapples(let me know if you want to be tagged)

"GOOD AFTERNOON GOOD PEOPLE OF EREBOR!" Nori beamed as he swaggered into his brother's tea shop. Winking at Jaida as he took a seat in the back where he could watch the door and windows. His back against the wall. Taking out his pipe and lit it. He was early but oh well.

"Are you kidding me? This is a fine person’s establishment. Inside voice you dwarfling! What are you, three?" Dori hissed.

Jaida blushed lightly. Nori had been coming around almost every day to walk with her before she went home. It’s been weeks now. Her father was getting curious. Too curious. She bit her lip as she went back to cleaning, giggling at Dori.

"Three? Please give me some credit brother dearest. I’m at least five don’t you think?" Nori spoke dramatically, touching his chest. "My gracious lady Jaida. Would you like to go on a long walk with me after my slave driver brother frees you?"

"We will see." Jaida said softly. Shaking her head amused as she moved for Dori who was ready for a counter response. "Why don't you make him a cup of tea?" She whispered.

Dori scoffed. "Tea? The boy has never drank tea in his life." He grumbled and moved away.

"Nonsense." She chuckled. Making Nori a cup of her favorite tea and taking it to him. Placing it on the table beside him. "How are you?"

Nori stared at the cup as if it was poison, very strong poison. "I've been doing well, my lady. How are you doing?" He hated tea. He despised it. Ale was his thing. He was a grown ass dwarrow thank you very much.

"I am well. I missed you." She said shyly, biting her bottom lip as she looked down at her hands. "It's lemon tea. My favorite. But if you prefer another I can make it for you."

His heart skipped a beat. He inhaled slowly and picked up the cup. Sniffing it lightly. Mahal help him. He took a sip. Eyes widening a bit as it wasn't so bad. Not bad at all. "I missed you too." He mumbled, giving her a little smile.

She made a happy mewling sound, scrunching her face up. A faint blush on her cheeks. "Well then. Maybe now you won't stay away for two days." She whispered. Noticing one of his braids going rogue. Licking her fingers and reaching out to straighten it back against the peak where it belonged. "There we go."

He blinked rapidly when she touched his hair. He should pull back. Get annoyed. But...it made him all warm and fuzzy. "Thank you." He told her sincerely as he sipped his tea. Ignoring his brother's astonished look. "I'm sorry. I'll come more often. Cannot have the lady miss me. That must be a crime."

Dori looked up at the ceiling, holding his hands out. "Mahal why do you punish me so?" He whispered. Who was this person and where was his younger brother Nori? He'd never drink tea. And gouge out someone's eyes for touching his hair. Not even Ori was allowed to touch his hair.

Jaida blinked as she turned to the elder dwarf. "Mister Dori?"

He sighed deeply. Closing his eyes for a moment before he looked at her too. "Go on. I can finish up from here. You practically clean the place all day anyway."

"So dramatic." Nori mumbled amused as he finished his tea, taking out a few coins and placed it on the table. "My lady." He smiled brightly at her, offering her his arm.

"Stop it Nori." She giggled, wrapping her arms around Nori's. Pressing herself against him. A little closer each day it seemed. Sighing content as he was so warm. And smelled amazing. “See you tomorrow Mister Dori!”

“Good evening Jaida.” Dori called back. Sighing exasperated when they left the shop.

"How was the day? Any trouble?" Nori asked her softly as they walked, he was guiding her to a cave he had found. Humming a tune as he watched her. So beautiful. More beautiful than any gem he had seen. And he had seen a lot of them.

"No trouble at all. I don't think anyone would dare mess with your brother." She giggled, pressing further against him. Squeezing his arm more. Mahal she didn't realize how much she'd missed him.

He placed his hand over hers. "I know, but I've known him my whole life. I just have this irresistible urge to mess with him. By Mahal the stories I could tell you." He laughed happily and guided her towards empty corridors, the cavern he wanted to show her was off the beaten track.

"I've heard plenty from Dori. Trying to dissuade me from being your friend I think." Though she knew it was more Dori trying to see if she could really forgive all that he did. If she was right for his brother. "Where are we going Nori?"

"Don't believe a word he says. He's a drama queen. Exaggerating is one of his great talents." He winked amused at her. "I want to show you a cave I've found while exploring the mountain."

"Oh? Master Nori I hardly think this is appropriate." She smirked lightly.

"Appropriate? What is that word? I've never heard of it." He mused, tugging on his braids as if he was thinking deeply.

"Obviously." She drawled amused. Her heart suddenly beating faster as she looked around.

"Don't worry. I won't get you into trouble or cause trouble. I just want to show you something pretty." He smiled warm at her as he looked around as well. The walls decorated with veins of gold and silver. Little pockets of gems, becoming more and more the further they got into the cavern.

"What if I ask you to?" She purred as she pulled away. Moving a few feet ahead of him and starting to walk along the wall. Admiring all the gems as she went.

"Oooh. Cheeky little one." He followed with a lazy smirk on his face. "If you ask me to cause trouble, who am I to deny you?"

"Well it’s just me and you so how bad can the trouble be?" She whispered, but it came out louder as her voice bounced from the cave walls. Goodness Jaida what had gotten into you?

Mahal. She was really tempting him. Really tempting. He walked beside her and stroked her back softly. "This way." He purred in her ear and guided her to take a left corridor. "I think you once mentioned you liked opals?"

"Did I? Or have you been sneaking into my bedroom at night and reading my journal?" She tried to keep the snarky comments coming. But he sent chills running up her spine.

"Dang it. She's on to me. I don't read your journal. I listen to you talk in your sleep." He drawled playfully, his hand moving to her lower back.

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Oh? And what do I say?" She said softly, absentmindedly moving closer to him from his touch.

"How handsome I am. How dashing. How awesome and fantastic." He pulled her closer. She didn't say that. Heck he didn't go into her bedroom. He had some lines he did not cross.

"Well I know that's a lie. I would never say you were dashing. I would never use that word period. But that's good. It means you don't hear me talk about my dreams." She sighed dreamily.

"I'm so tempted to go into your room now. But I won't. I do have some manners." He looked curious at her. "Do you dream of me?"

"Hmm. You don't always have manners." She glanced over to him.

"Didn't answer my question, cheeky one." He looked up and a real smile peeked through. "This is what I wanted to show you."

She followed his actions and gasped softly. Eyes widening as her eyes darted over the multiple clusters of opals in the ceiling. "Yes I dream of you." She whispered so soft.

His heart went haywire. Glad he was standing behind her as his cheeks were flushed with heat for a moment. Licking his lips as he was content to just watch the awe on her face. The way she stared at the opals. Maybe he should have brought Ori as well. So he could have drawn her and immortalized the moment.

She stared, absolutely still except for the light movement of her chest from her breathing. Her hair slowly falling over her shoulders as she tilted her head farther back.

She had the most beautiful hair he had ever seen in his life. So smooth, thick and shiny. He wondered how it felt between his fingers. Against his bare skin. He scolded himself for thinking like that. Leaning against the wall and just watched her. Not wanting to disturb her.

"Did you have other plans after you brought me here? Or was it just to see the gems? You did ask me for a long walk." She murmured, keeping her eyes on the ceiling. Well if she ever ran away, they knew where to find her.

"There are a few more caverns I want to show you. It will be our little secret as I don't feel like telling anyone else. And most stay in the known tunnels. And I just wanted to walk with you and talk." She grounded him, helped him find his center again.

"And what happens if I come out here and get lost? Or run into some vagabonds trying to find the way out here?" She teased lightly, staring for another moment before she lowered her head again.

His face turned serious. His chest becoming so tight as he felt sick at the idea of someone daring to hurt her. "I wish to teach you self-defense."

"Teach me self-defense? I can defend myself well enough. I've learned more than a few things." Just she should probably plan to carry around a weapon to assist.

"Do you know how to hide weapons like daggers on your body? Or use hairpins as weapons?" He asked her softly as he watched her seriously.

She shook her head lightly, tensing and shivering a bit from his look. The tone in his voice. "You want to show me?'

"Yes. I'll gladly do that." He started to explain and show her how and where to hide small daggers. Places that she could easily reach, but her opponents wouldn't know where they were hidden. Even pulling one out of his hair.

She listened so intently, hanging on his every word. But she couldn't stop the faint blush on her cheeks when she looked up at him. So intense. He was becoming... different around her. Taking his hand suddenly.

Nori stopped mid-sentence, watching her curiously and a bit confused. "Yes my lady?" He asked softly as they stood so close to each other. His eyes tracing the blush on her cheeks. Inhaling deep and slowly. Such a lovely scent.

"Maybe you should show me where I can hide them. I don't have big hair like you. Or the multiple layers of clothing." She whispered breathlessly. Lifting his arm up and over her as she stepped against his chest. Pressing her back to him. Heart beating so fast.

He swallowed thickly as his mind tried to process what was going on. Dangerous little minx. "Well. One of the options is here." He brushed his hand over her breasts, tracing her cleavage. "You can easily hide something here." He murmured softly in her ear. His body tightening as he pulled her closer.

She inhaled sharply, her body immediately reacting. Chills running up her spine as she shivered against him. Completely leaning back into him now. "I, see. And where else?"

"In the sleeves of your dress." He slowly traced his fingers over her arm. Taking slow deep breathes to keep himself under control. But still holding her close. "If you're wearing pants, here." He stroked her hips softly. "Or in your boots."

"What about here?" She whispered breathlessly, taking his hands and moving them down her thighs.

He clenched his jaw, his nose brushing her cheek slightly. His hands stroking her thighs softly, suddenly cupping her between them in a bold and a bit of possessive hold. "That's a very good place as well." He murmured in her ear, voice so low and rough.

She gasped, eyes widening for a moment. Hips moving absentmindedly against his hand. Moaning softly as she immediately felt like she was on fire. Cheeks flushing with heat. "I don't think I'd want a dagger or knife there."

"Are you sure? I've a lovely dagger for your sheath." His other hand pressed against her stomach to hold her close as his fingers moved against her slightly. Panting softly against her skin as his heart pounded so wildly.

She trembled, her head falling back against him. Blushing at herself for reacting so easily to his touch. "Nori." She moaned, peering over her shoulder at him.

His breathing was rough and ragged as he tried to find some control. She deserved more. Deserved better. "Jaida." He murmured and moved his hand slowly, resting it on her thigh.

Her heart clenched as she kept looking at him. Hands tightening around his forearms. "N-Nori?" She whispered hesitantly.

"Yes, my sweet Jaida?" He asked her softly, wrapping his arms around her and hugged her so fiercely.

She turned away from him, looking down as she swallowed thick. What had just happened? She blinked rapidly as her eyes burned. "It's late I should get home."

"Jaida." He whispered pained as his heart clenched. He carefully cupped her face and looked into her eyes. "You deserve so much, so much more than I could ever give you. I want to treat you with the respect you deserve."

"What do you mean 'more than you could ever give me'? What sort of excuse is that and how is that your decision to make?" She whispered so quiet. Feeling cold like stone.

He looked defeated at her, at a loss. He had never felt like this before. It terrified him. He brushed his fingers against her cheekbones. Blinking rapidly as his eyes hurt. "You're right. It's not my decision to make." But how could he deserve her? He was a thief. A spymaster. He lived in the shadows while she belonged in the light.

Her breathing picked up again as she placed her hands back on his arms. Looking around so rapidly as she tried to gather her thoughts. Her heart threatening to jump out of her chest. "I like you Nori." She said so hesitantly. He was her one, if she could understand that sort of thing. But she'd never felt like this about anyone before. Never even held interest in such a way.

He stared at her as if she had suddenly had started to speak in a language he didn't know. No one in his life had ever told him that they liked him. Not even his own mother. Blinking even quicker and pulled her close, hugging her so tightly. "I like you too, Jaida." He murmured against her hair.

She exhaled sharply, a couple rogue tears running over as she was so relieved. Wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his shoulder. Inhaling his scent as she relaxed so much against him. “I do still need to get home. Adad will turn Erebor over if he gets home before me." She giggled, snuggling against him.

"Ah yes. We can't have that." Nori mumbled with a deep dramatic sigh as he massaged her back. Seems he had to start crafting.

"Will you walk me out to the main halls?" She asked as she pulled back, smiling up at him.

“I might be willing to do that. If I get to hold you for a little longer.” He teased her, burying his face in her neck.

She giggled as his beard tickled her skin. “It’s a deal.”