#thanks for the ask babes!!

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[uhohdad]

hear me out, loser! könig who's in love with his best friend and she drags him to go dress shopping and he has to consciously keep himself from drooling everytime she shows him a new dress. She's just so pretty, grabbable hips with the prettiest smile and she has that sparkle in her eyes and she's looking at *him.*

(18+) Dress Shopping with Loser!König

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅^ྀི ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅^ྀི ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅^ྀི ⋅˚₊ ‧୨୧ ‧₊˚

“What do you think of this one?”

Loser!König has heard this question all day long, and if he answered honestly, you’d run for the hills.

Loser!König can’t believe you’re inviting him to ogle at you. His eyes devour the way each dress hugs your curves, your legs that curtsy and twirl as you show off, hips that beg for his strong hands. His favorite are the particularly low-cut dresses, shamelessly drooling over your plush, perfect cleavage. He imagines he’s slipping his hardened hands down your collar and into your bra, grabbing two handfuls of your soft breasts, massaging them against his palms.

Loser!König’s erection has turned painful long ago, forced to tuck his aching cock into the waistband of his pants in hopes you can’t tell that you’re torturing him. Torturing him with your perfect body, with that brilliant smile, with soft, sweet eyes looking up at him so innocently. It brings a heat to both his face and his cock, leaking and throbbing in his pants.

Loser!König who can’t stop thinking about how easy it would be to lift the hem of your dress and get a glimpse of your panties. He wants to sneak an upskirt photo, craves to know what color you’re wearing, what cut, if they’re lacy or not. The thought of a dainty bow on the top of your panties has a huffy groan threatening to leave his lips, a pretty little present for him to unwrap.

Loser!König can hardly resist the urge to drag you into the fitting room. Pin both of your wrists to the mirror with a brute hand, the other sneaking up your thighs and bunching up the dress. Grinding his aching cock against your front, nestling himself between your lips and rocking against your clit. Yanking your soaked panties to the side and bullying his thick cock into your dripping cunt while you claw at him, his name stuck in the back of your throat.

Loser!Konig who practically throws his wallet at the cashier when you go to pay. He would buy you a hundred dresses if it means he gets to look at you in them.

Loser!König pretends to use a fitting room to try on a shirt, but instead relieves his painful, throbbing erection, biting back his pathetic whines and grunts as he imagines he’s filling you up, hands dug into your hips in that pretty dress. Ravaging your tight, wet cunt until he paints the fitting room mirror with his finish, choking back a moan that threatens to twist into your name.

Loser!König is bright red and sweating when he leaves the fitting room, hoping you haven’t realized what a perverted creep he truly is.

“Äh, it didn’t fit.”

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅^ྀི ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅^ྀི ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅^ྀི ⋅˚₊ ‧୨୧ ‧₊˚

Loser!König

[bethsvrse]

why are you, a minor, writing nsfw fics? where tf are your parents kiddo??

I've had quite a few people ask me questions like this lately, so I'd like to clarify a few things.

Firstly, my mum is a fan of my writing. She reads most of my pieces (minus the smut although she's aware I write them). In fact, she often helps edit my one-shots because I have dyslexia.

Secondly, it's adults, much like yourself, who tend to treat topics like sex, drugs, and alcohol as these forbidden subjects for minors that will cause kids to explore these things in a way to rebel against their parents. When adults aren't open to discussing these matters and teaching kids how to approach them safely, it actually makes them more curious.

In my experience, having parents who are open and willing to have these conversations has built trust between us. They've allowed me to have a drink on special occasions and have been open about sex, rather than treating it as taboo.

So yeah, that’s where my parents are and that why me, a minor, am writing nsfw fics! 😁

[silkentine]

May I, just a simple city girl, humbly ask if we'll ever have the possibility of seeing Mr Prince fem sanji?? Ur fem sanji changed my life I love her so bad Ty for drawing her and sharing ur art 😭😭😭♥️♥️

of course we will see more of Ms. Prince

[bruisedboys]

he really is just so boyfriend. like the kind who would reach the boxes in shelves you can’t reach

he is just always into being your hero . doing things to make you swoon

peter quill has a hero complex for sure but it gets hiked up about 200% when it comes to you. he’s obsessed with doing everything for you because he knows you like it, even if you don’t actually need the help. he knows you’re totally capable of taking care of yourself but he wants to do it because he’s so incredibly down bad for you it’s sick.

yes he’s definitely the type to reach high shelves for you!!! so casually dominant of him tbh. he comes up behind you where you’re tiptoeing in front of the shelf and easily snags the box you’re reaching for. when he hands it to you he’s veryy smug about it. especially if he gets a thank you kiss, which he usually does.

he’s also always tying your shoelaces or zipping your dress or fixing your clothes for you. your shoelace comes undone while you’re out with him and he doesn’t even hesitate to get on the dirty floor to do it up for you. you put your hands in his hair and tug gently as a silent thank you and he swears he dies on the spot. and if your clothes ever ride up and threaten to show more skin than he knows you’ll want to, he’ll fix them without a word and it flusters you so much.

ugh and if you’re clumsy!!! he gets so good at catching you before you hurt yourself. if you’re about to trip he’ll catch you before you do and dip you cos he’s a dork, his arm locked around your lower back. you’ll laugh and swoon and say my hero all sarcastic and it boosts peter’s ego wayyy more than he’d like to admit.

[usertoxicyaoi]

"You don't get it, do you? You don't get it."

MY PERSONAL WEATHERMAN (2023).

[naffeclipse]

Talk about your monster husband ocs coward (affectionate❤️)

Everyone, the tumblr user themeeplord is bullying me (affectionate <3)!!

You have no idea how normal I am about my monster OCs. They're so lovely just let me—ahhh!

Hawthorn is a Mothman monster. His wings are based on the garden tiger moth and he is so fluffy! He has a thick fuzz on his neck and chest and is a warm, cuddlebug. He also possesses bright orange eyes that pierce the darkness and startle the unfortunate late-night hikers or anyone piercing into the woods after midnight.

He has a thing for hanging out in the thick woods near where the MC lives. Wherever he goes, bad omens follow. He really shouldn't be near MC—he knows he'll be the death of his precious little human, but he can't help it. He's drawn to the MC like a moth to a flame (heheh). He's delightful and gentlemanly, but don't let that fool you. He's got a possessive stretch a mile wide and does not take kindly to anyone giving the MC looks or reaching out for a too-familiar touch. He will bristle and buzz, and fly swift and silent through the darkness to chase after anyone to ensure the MC stays all to himself. He is a bad omen, after all.

Grease is an oil demon! He feeds off of fear, literally, and delights in terrifying people in the night. His body is slick and iridescent, and he is constantly dripping black goo from his person. He is capable of shifting his form to hide in a puddle, slink underneath doors, or bubble through a crack in a broken window. He's got wicked sharp teeth, and eyes like a tiger but with a pale, unsettling blue color. He possesses tendrils on his head that constantly drip and a long, slick tail that he can use to grab MC by the ankle. He's terribly seductive and charming, terrifying but mischievous. He likes to say 'boo' just to watch MC jump. Of course, he's not all tang and salt. He's got a sweet side that rouses in a protectiveness over MC. He's possessive, sure, and he's marked his claim with the oil stains on MC's work apron, but he's got an ooey-gooey center of sweetness that MC occasionally finds when he blushes at a stray touch or a nice comment about him.

Calmo 91, otherwise just called Calmo, is a robot. Constructed in the 90s with a box TV screen head to match, he has bright yellow optics in the screen face along with thick wires falling behind his head in a ponytail-like fashion. He is cool and difficult to read but wickedly intelligent and learning much about humans and affections. His body is a thin endoskeleton with plastic matt gray coverings that give peeks of blue, red, and yellow wires at his metallic joints. He's got a mysterious past the MC is attempting to unravel that he truly wishes the MC would leave be. He's got much to learn about technology but he quickly figures out how to connect to the MC's phone for texting, phone calls, and other useful things of course, like keeping tags on where MC is and monitoring MC's heart rate. Useful tools. Modern technology. Living in the MC's house, he gets to spend more domestic time with the human he decided is kind and generous, but the MC occasionally finds him at the foot of the bed in the darkness, his yellow optics strangely switched to red until the MC says his name and his optics revert back to yellow again.

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

LESBIAN POLYNINJA LESBIAN POLYNINJA LESB-

for extra context, please refer to the fic i wrote in my head :)

(under the cut is a close up of cole 😉)

her 😍

[itsmarsss]

early bird

request: hii i love scandalous and was if would you ever write a poly ozzie/fizz/reader fic?? no pressure or anything, i really love how you write and after the angst (and the more to come from future chapters) something cute and soft would be needed lol (also fizz in suspenders💞💞 😔)

You jolt awake at the sound of a horn. That fucking horn. No matter how many times you throw it away, Fizz, somehow, finds some way to have another one the next morning. You don’t think it’s too far-off to suspect he hides a secret stash of them somewhere in the house. 

You groan, shoving a pillow over your head to conceal the noise, but it’s to no avail as Fizz pulls it from you. 

Ozzie stirs, and he gently pulls your head off his chest so he can sit up just to glare at Fizz. “Could you not?” 

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Why’d you wake us up so early?” You question. “None of us has to be up until 9 today.”

“And how do you know it’s not 9?”

“The sun is literally still rising,” you tell him, pointing at the big window across the room. 

“Well I woke up and I had to go to the bathroom and then I couldn’t sleep again and I tried! But I couldn’t. And I don’t wanna be the only one awake…” he pouts, and he’s obviously trying to get pity points with that so as to not get further complaints about the horn thing. 

It gets Ozzie immediately. “Oh don’t make that face you know I can’t resist it.”

“Uh-huh, that’s why I make it,” he crosses his arms over his chest and smiles, tongue poking out a corner of his mouth. 

You roll your eyes and suppress a smile of your own. Can’t argue with that flawless logic. “What do you even wanna do so early?”

Fizz moves his body towards you by extending his legs, getting his face impossibly close to yours as he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. You get the hint, and laugh before planting a kiss on his forehead. “You’re cute. But no way. Still too tired.”

He exaggerates  an eye roll. “So lame!”

“And yet! You still love me.”

“Barely.”

“HA!” Ozzie laughs at him sarcastically.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a simp, Froggie.”

“Am not!”

“S-I-M-P. Simp.”

“So are you!”

“Never said I wasn’t,” Ozzie defends himself, putting his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay, everyone’s a simp. Now can we go get some breakfast or what?”

“Thought you said you were too tired.”

“I’m never too tired for breakfast, Froggie,” you pinch his cheek.

“Hey!” Ozzie complains, pretending to take offense to you making fun of his nickname for Fizz, despite it being a routinely occurrence since forever, and pulling him in a tight embrace.

Fizz squeezes himself out of Ozzie’s embrace, laughing, and you all get up off the bed. “Soooo what are we having?” He asks as the three of you exit the bedroom, and you both look up at Ozzie, expectantly. 

“Why am I the one who has to make it?”

“I mean, I can make it if you want,” Fizz says, and the three of you laugh at the absurdity of the suggestion.

“Yeah, no.” Ozzie affirms, serious, before looking at you with a raised brow. “How ‘bout you?”

“I’m just soo, soo tired, baby, look,” you pretend to yawn, and Fizz tries (and fails) not to laugh at it.

“You help me or no deal.”

“No fair! And Fizzy just watches?”

“Thought you liked it when I… watched… you two.”

“Your charm can’t get you out of everything, you know that?”

“It’s been working so far.”

“You’re too smug sometimes, Froggie,” Ozzie comments as he crosses the kitchen to get something, not turning around to say it.

“I already said I can cook if you really want me to!”

“Not after last time!”

“See?” Fizz tells you. “He won’t let me!”

“Oh and you’re obviously sooo bummed about it.”

He smiles, and Ozzie nudges you with a pink spatula. “Here.”

You realize he’s put on his frilly, tiny baby blue apron, and smile at the sight. “You’re so cute.”

“I’m thousands of years old and, like, three times bigger than you.”

“And so what do we say?”

Ozzie lets out a giggle. “Thank you, babe,” he pulls you towards him by your waist, placing a quick kiss on your cheek.

“Okay, so what are we making? What do I do with this?” You wave the spatula he handed you around.

“What do you wanna eat?”

“Waffles!” Fizz yells out.

“Ohhh, yes!” You agree.

“I could eat some waffles,” Ozzie decides.

“Hell yeah!” Both you and Fizz exclaim at the same time, high-fiving each other. 

You didn’t care about being woken up so early anymore.

[catcze]

Anonymous asked: OK SO FIRST UR WRITING IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE, like jaw dropping somethings been plaguing my mind recently wriosthesley with a reader with a secret crush on him, and like SINGWINNIE BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS but then he soon finds out cuz yk.. he’s literally the warden of the fortress of meropide cmon now there’s no hiding anything from him

!!! lemme just say that i love love love Sigewinne so much, and in situations, I can 100% see her being in-the-know about things, especially since she's (and correct me if I'm wrong) studying human behaviour? right?

She would deffo pick up on the way that you smile brighter whenever Wriothesley is around. And how you always smile and look away whenever he compliments you. And how your supposedly busy afternoon has been cleared the moment he invites you to afternoon tea.

Sigewinne finds it kinda cute, and she wasn't planning on saying anything about it to anyone (certainly not the duke himself) but one day when she's puttering about his office, snacking on whatever he had offered her, he breaks the ice. A few minutes after you leave his office, a pep in your step, he turns to Sigewinne.

"So..." he drawls. "A crush, huh?"

"I don't know what you're implying, your grace," is her immediate response. Wriothesley isn't deterred, though, and the small smile on his face doesn't waver.

"About—" his eyes flick to the door that you exited out of, then back to her. "I never really noticed at first but... It's sweet," he says. That smile of his turns fond, and he looks down at his desk absently, his cheek resting on a fist. Sigewinne raises an eyebrow, eyes narrowing as she watches him.

"I see," she says, her own lips curling a bit. After all, when does one have the opportunity of seeing the Duke grow smitten with someone? "Well, if you wish to address this crush, now is as good as a time as any. I doubt you'd have to run very fast to catch up."

"Hah, is that so?" He asks, but stands all the same. Without another word to her, he trots down the stairs in his office and runs out, the doors shutting behind him with a muted bang.

Sigewinne sighs, still smiling. All she has to do now is wait for the happy news later in the day.

[ #Taglist registration here !! ]

[redfinnbluefinn]

I’m not really understanding this discourse around Neve/lucanis/rook??

First of all. If I were around THE Neve Gallus I too would be a fucking mess every lifetime I lived. Honestly I’m shocked everyone else isn’t enamored every moment they’re around her.

Secondly. Neve has two hands and she deserves the burden and honor of having the two most pathetic wet dog partners in all of Thedas. In this essay I will -

[uhohdad]

Would you ever write anything with a plus size reader? Maybe she’s (or they, can be gn idc!) really insecure but they hide it behind jokes and Konig sees right through it because he does the same

Cut to him always giving them compliments and making sure they stay fed and throwing them over his shoulder like they weigh nothing (usually in front of people cause he likes to embarrass and humiliate reader cause he is still kinda a jerk /affectionate/)

Can be nsfw or whatever you want, I’m not good at plot lol so Idk I just need him to treat me like I’m a teeny lil thing (cause let’s be real he really is a mountain lol)

König x PlusSized!Reader

───♡──────────

He’s getting tired of this nasty habit, liebling.

Everyday before your shower, you’ll stand in the mirror, honing in on that gorgeous, perfect body, digging for any little thing to critique.

“You better be thinking nice thoughts in there, little one.”

You just let out a groan, too far sunk into the spiral of self-hatred to claw yourself back out.

König rises from his spot on the bed a greets you with disapproving, half-lidded eyes in the mirror.

“What is it this time?”

“Tummy. Thighs. Chest.”

“Ach, you mean the best parts?”

You answer with an annoyed hum.

Konig will place his big, sturdy hands on your bare hips from behind, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on your shoulder.

The gentle peck distracts you from the strong arms scooping you up, a squeak leaving you as he sweeps you off your feet in one swift motion, ripping away your view of yourself in the mirror.

“König!”

“What?” He draws, carrying you from the bathroom to the bedroom.

“Put me down!” You say through a giggle, kicking your feet in his restraint.

“Hold on, I just have to get my curls in.”

He holds you horizontally across those strong arms, muscles tensing as he lifts and lowers you while you giggle all the way.

“I’m too heavy for this!”

“Barely a warm-up, liebling.”

He effortlessly tosses you onto the bed with a bounce, crawling over top you before you can even finish your squeal.

He showers kisses all over your bare tummy, his stubble sanding against plush, soft skin. Trailing his slobbering kisses up to your chest, giving your perfect breasts plenty of love. Your thighs would be last, showering you with pecks and even licking slow stripes across the flesh.

“König!”

“What?”

He’ll feign innocence, but that cocky smirk on his face betrays him.

“It’s too bad you can’t see what I see.”

───♡──────────

[erinwantstowrite]

Do we ever get an arc of Peter like training his spidey sense? Like from what I’ve read so far it seems like he hasn’t trained it yet and I can imagine like Bruce and Peter having bonding time by Bruce helping him train it or introducing him to someone who can help him train it

i really really REALLY want some scenes with this dynamic. peter collects mentor figures and i've had it set up for a while now that bruce and peter are going to train at least once because can you IMAGINE spider-man that's trained with batman???? EVERYONE IS FUCKED every enemy of spider-man after that is FUCKED

[bimb0-bunnie]

UR SO PRETTY N FEMININE, literal definition of bimbo barbie 🤭 please give the girlies some tips on make up, skincare, and overall being more girly! thnxs🌷

-🐶

hey girlie!! THIS IS SOSO SWEET AWEE!!! here are some tips i have n some of my secrets!! ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝<꒱ྀིა 🧁☁️🐇🌷

1. finding the vibe🧸

it's not hard to be hyperfeminine or a bimbo, do a lil research n see what you like! i mean there are 100s of popculture bimbos to follow after (elle woods, karen smith, regina george, blair waldorf, holly madison, cher from clueless) and with the modern hyperfemininity movement you can really be any type of girlie.

i listed above my fav bimbos above! i personally hyperfixated on different things in each of their personalities or lifestyle! i wanted a girlie room like maddy perez, elle woods intelligence, blair waldorf and regina georges fashion nd confidence, holly madison's...just everything, etc. just observe and manifest! writing this all down in a journal about your new feminine lifestyle may help you concentrate on ways to make you more feminine!!

2. skincare and makeup🧼

now let's start with skincare!

cleansers: i love a double cleanse! an oil cleanser will remove sebum and other icky stuff in your pores it also helps remove makeup after a day of wear. foam cleansing is next this go deep into the pores in more hard to reach areas or used to take care of any acne

toners: i love how plump and soothing toners are! i prefer toners that hydrate my skin and provide a layer of hydration making toners the perfect way to prep for serums!

serums: by targeting acne, dark spots, dry areas, etc with serums boosts your skin youth and complexion. just remember retonoids on dry skin, exfloxiators like aha and bha on dry skin before hylaronics like peptides, snail mucin, etc. ampoules are after serums to lock in all other products

treatments: tretnoin is my lifesaver! along with aha/bha! those masks should be washed off well or bleaching of the skin can occur especially with benzoyl peroxide!

moisturizer: depending on your skin type and concern your moisturizer will be different but remember you want non-striping or exfloxiating ingredients, otherwise it won't work! at night locking these products in with an oil or ointment like snail mucin oil or aquahor!

fav skincare brands: anua, cosrx, beauty of joseon, centella, and innisfree

bodyyyyy🍡

smelling good makes you feel good! pair different scents together makes you feel amazing and will let ppl become intoxicated with you. this goes with dressing you body type! personally i believe pink goes on everyone but if you want you can go by you undertones to find the right shades and colors will look good on you along with dressing to your comfort.

pretty mini skirts, dresses, paired with a lotioned body smelling of cake and fruit...perfection!

princess treatment🛍

here are some misc.d tips i put together for you! hope this'll help more

treat yourself like a princess, go shopping, relax in bubble baths, keep your room clean, spoil yourself daily...you deserve it!

style your hair, whether it's dying it or curling it have fun! showing off how pretty your hair is allows for focus to also be on your pretty face! that means taking care of your hair is important too!

search for different makeup styles, like gyaru, korean style makeup, baddie makeup, soft glam, etc each style will provide a different image or facade. just find what works for you and facial shape, but that doesn't mean you can't adjust different makeup style to fit your features.

keeping track on your journey of being a bimbo! write down milestones, different products you choose to use or different styles you want to try. remember this is all fun!

[rosieofcorona]

Begging you to post Solas's reaction to finding out he got your Lavellan pregnant 🧎‍♀️‍➡️🧎‍♀️‍➡️

I still gotta write this out but I can certainly give you the short version in the meantime!! 💕 Under the cut bc the short version is still long:

Solas isn't trying to have children. Ever, in my opinion, but that's discourse for another day. He's trying to tear a hole in the fabric of modern existence and all the while he's trying to care less about the people he loves so he won't lose his nerve. A bad idea, because he's terrible at not caring. He cares so deeply and so much and he can't help it. And in his "last" (or what he thinks will be his last) meeting with Lavellan, she persuades him that if he's truly going to do this, if she's never going to see him again, if he's going to let the world fall apart around them, she wants one more night with him. Just one. A bad idea, but he can't say no, because she asks for so little. He can't say no because there's so little he wants for himself. So he agrees, and they spend the night together, and they go their separate ways, so he thinks. No harm done. It's Cole who tells him, eventually. Not Lavellan, as she's lost track of him again. And he is truly distressed. He can't bring himself to be happy, because he still has to do his work. He's brought another little thing into a world headed straight for more suffering at his own hand. But he resolves to meet the child because she'll want that, and he loves her.

A bad idea, because then he can't bring himself to regret it.

[hikarry]

you're such a bad writer please do the fandom a favor and either die or leave the app

Ah, isn't fate nice, sweetheart

I might actually be gone before you know it! You better dance on my grave or I will be extremely disappointed. If you like to be an arsehole, at least make it funny

To be fair tho, this asks is going on queue (which is full, bless it's heart) and how funny would it be if when this ask came about the did was actually done *slaps knee* now that would be poetic

Cheers, love