#thank you to everyone who has supported me with nice feedback so far! i really appreciate knowing other people keep up with it

[abyssalzones]

is that a sense of impending doom, or just the summer pollen? probably just the pollen.

anyway, i don't plan on posting full chapters like this too often but take this as a reminder to go check out Ad Astra Per Aspera on its neocities page, where it updates every Friday! In case you’re into comics about things that already exist.

[tainsan]

misfits: II (college!ateez x reader)

{a/n: thank you so so so much for the support just after the first chapter! i am so grateful for all of you who have been reblogging and sending in feedback}

do not steal my work or repost on places other than tumblr.

taglist: @lilactangerine @sookacc @plutoneu @abby-grace @sunkissed725 @lixiel0ver @acciocriativity @hyukssunflower @sunukissed @khjcoo @stopeatread @meginthebuilding27 @mychickentendou @sunnyhokyu @rxnexxi @croa-yevon (if you asked to be tagged and don't see your name, I am incredibly sorry but you cannot be tagged.)

-----THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-----

⇢ master list ⇠

previous chapter ⇠ ⇢ next chapter

warnings: not really anything, just a little bit of swearing.

word count: 6.2k

“No radius is half of the diameter; did you not pay attention in high school?” You say exasperated, half laughing half scowling at the black-haired male situated in front of you.

“I was too busy denying my sexuality in high school,” Minho says rolling his eyes, causing a boisterous laugh to erupt from your throat.

“You do know you’re not supposed to be here?” 

Minho snuck into your advanced calculus class earlier saying he was bored, and Jisung was in a Finance class, where the teacher isn't too keen on letting random students into his lectures. Luckily you were close to the end of the lesson, meaning your professor was partially done, letting students talk among themselves whilst he does God knows what on his computer. 

“It’s not like any of our professors remember our faces. I think I’ve had Bartley for three years in a row and he still thinks I’m a freshman.”

You snort at his remark knowing he has a point. The teachers don't get paid enough to remember every student anyways.

“You need to study more, how are you going to open your own business if you don't know the basics of math?” you question, joking slightly.

“I have you for that. Plus, it’s not like I want to become one of those smart-ass CEOs, I just want to open a nice dance studio far away from this goofy place.”

“That’s still a business Min, and it would help to know math so you can at least calculate your revenue.” 

“Yeah, but I don't need to know the radius of a circle for that,” he once again rolls his eyes mockingly, causing a chuckle to emit from you.

“Touché Lee.” 

Minho winks at you cheekily, then looks at his phone that had just vibrated notifying a message. His eyes widen hugely, causing your curiosity to spike.

“Girl, not to alarm you but Bin said there’s someone looking for you.”

“Why would that alarm me?” 

Before Minho can get another word out, the large wooden door to the entrance opens widely, and in walks a guy wearing all black, glasses perched across his nose. The entire room goes silent, and you swear you can hear your own heartbeat. Leaning towards Minho slightly, you mean to ask why it has gone so silent all of a sudden, but you cannot get the question out as the man in black soundlessly makes his way toward where you and Minho are situated, walking up the stairs. 

“__, right?” the nameless man asks as he reaches you, his voice breaking the thick silence in the room. Immediately, whispers sound across the room from almost everyone. Starting to feel self-conscious of the sudden attention on you, the familiar feeling of a heavy heart residing in your chest. You momentarily wonder why he even asked for your name if he knew who to go to in a class with over thirty students.

“Come with me?” The request is said as a question yet the tone he uses is harsh and demanding, as if he is not giving you a choice to say no. 

You look at Minho, confused yet you see the same confused expression on his face, yet the look is definitely more prominent on his. You probably would have laughed at the expression on your friend's face if it were in a different circumstance.  

“Okay let’s go,” Minho says, helping you grab your books off the desk. 

“I wasn't talking to you,” The guy says slightly rudely, looking at Minho with a piercing cold glare. Minho, looking offended starts to stand up, puffing his shoulders and advancing slightly towards the man in black. Chattering and whispers spur around the class, someone even gasping audibly.

“Minho, it’s fine, just wait here.” You grab his hand and pull him back to his sitting position gently. The small action not going unnoticed by the mysterious man, who looks between the two of you, almost as if he is analyzing the situation. As you stand up, the man dressed in black heads for the exit, not sharing a glance with anyone who ogles at him. 

‘Goofy ass’ you mumble under your breath as you start your walk towards the exit. Not missing the way countless eyes are on your form, you trudge out of the door, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden interest in you. You ponder in your head why on Earth this man has so much attention all of a sudden like he is a celebrity or something. Rapidly closing the door, you rest your eyes and take a deep breath to calm your racing heart, you rest against the closed door behind you, breathing steadily you slowly feel your nerves go down. You open your eyes when you’re ready and see the strange man to your right, resting his left side against the wall body turned towards you. Quickly, you scurry to gain your composure and turn towards the man watching your movements like an eagle. He has a sharp nose and high cheekbones, his gaze intimidating. If you weren’t so confused, you would probably think he was very handsome.

“So, uh what did you want?” you question, cringing at your scratchy voice due to a dry throat. Almost scoffing, the man rolls his eyes and passes you a water bottle that was conveniently resting in his hand. 

“Um, thanks.” You say, feeling the heat rise up your neck.

“You need a place to live right?” He says bluntly, staring at you whilst you take a swig of water. Almost choking on said water, you bring your hand to your mouth and try to keep the water from coming out. Why does this random stranger know your life? 

“I’m sorry, I don't know who you are, how do you know I need a place to live?” you reply when your mouth is free of liquid. For some reason, the tenseness on the man’s shoulders seems to loosen a little, almost as if he is relieved and you don’t fail to notice the slight change in his behavior.

“I’m friends with San and Jongho, they told me you lost your apartment.” 

You are hit with a realization, and then things seem much clearer, without you knowing a smile comes to your face thinking of the two sweet people you had tutored a few days ago. This smile does not go unnoticed by the male opposite you; he even feels somewhat happy you are smiling whilst thinking of his friends, not scowling or cowering like other people would do.

“Um, I’m Hongjoong, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to uh have a look at our place, we have a room open.” Hongjoong introduces himself, stumbling on his words, you recognise his name, yet you have no idea where from. It seems a stark contrast to the scary image he was showing less than thirty seconds ago, now he is nervous and fairly restless, fiddling with the rings on his fingers and unable to make eye contact for more than three seconds. Feeling hopeful about finding a new place, your mood perks up immensely.

“Seriously?” you inquire, a hopeful smile adoring your features. Hongjoong seems to look surprised at your reaction, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink and his eyes widening, quickly he coughs and continues the cold expression on his face. 

“But wait…” you trail off, remembering the whereabouts of their accommodation, “as much as it would help, you guys live in the richest area near here, and I would never be able to afford it.” your eyes droop as you look at the floor, upset that you yet again have to go on dormfinder.com for an affordable place to live.

“We are more than happy to pull some strings, I’m close to the landlord.” His words are still calm, but this time rushed. 

“I really appreciate the offer, Hongjoong. I just don't see myself living there, even if you were to pull strings, my student loans barely cover the school funds let alone a place in Eastwood.” 

“Your parents do not offer help?” Your breath catches in your throat, and you feel your eyes start to sting, which does not go unnoticed by the male. 

“It’s just me.” You reply, your voice sharp. Seeing Hongjoong flinch slightly at your sudden harsh tone, you are quick to apologise. 

“Maybe you could just have a look?” Hongjoong’s eyes stay hopeful as he peers down at you. The height difference isn't huge but still to the point where you have to lift your head slightly to meet his callous eyes.

“Look I don’t have time to be browsing through places that are out of my league, I truly appreciate it Hongjoong, but I just can’t.”

“My mother is the landlord, I already spoke to her about it and she’s happy with you staying for five hundred a month, as long as you are clean and keep the house in order.” 

His words take you aback. Four hundred was the price you were paying for your old place, it’s not cheap but it's still a good price, especially for such an amazing place. Yet you are more taken aback by the fact he has already consulted with his mother. Was he so certain you were going to say yes that he already made a deal?

“I thought rent there was at least six thousand, what’s the big catch?” You are interested but keep your hopes low, you don't want to get ahead of yourself and potentially harm your heart.

“My roommates can be, well um messy, loud, and a little overbearing.” Hongjoong admits he sees your brow furrow slightly, “But we are friendly, fun, we will respect your space and never make you feel uncomfortable.” He rushes on his words again, almost as if he’s trying to sell a product. “It’s a lovely place trust me.”

“Who do you live with?” You inquire, if you want to even think about moving in you need to know who your roommates would be. 

“Are you familiar with Ateez?” Hongjoong is slow and cautious with his words as if he is treading on thin ice. Your eyes widen, and you feel your heart start to race again. Hongjoong is quick to notice this and waves his hands in front of you, dismissing what he just said. Even though you may have had good experiences with the men you know as Ateez members, you don’t know if you could get involved with them after what you've heard about them. Not knowing if you can trust them, you are hesitant to accept the offer. But then again, rumors are deadly but mostly not true. You know that better than anyone.

“We aren't as bad as people perceive us; I swear.” 

Now this confuses you even further. Hongjoong is another person in Ateez? Part of you believes his words, yet part of you believes your best friend. They are a selfish, cold, heartless group with no care for others' feelings. Even the way Hongjoong is presenting himself is on character, even whilst offering you the deal of your lifetime, his image is scary and cold, his words nothing more than blunt and harsh. But then again, your encounters with the rest have so far been so different and confusing. The way Hongjoong is quick to convince you that they aren’t bad people, or at least as bad as people say, leads to being even more baffled.

“No, I wasn't thinking that I was just honestly confused why you guys would ever let anyone who isn't a part of your group live with you. Why are you even doing this in the first place?” 

It takes a moment for Hongjoong to reply, your words hovering around the both of you. You can almost see the cogs turning in his head as he processes his answer. Looking as if he is debating whether or not to answer, he looks at you and then around him, looking to see if anyone is watching.  Slowly, he decides to answer, his sharp, cold image melting away.

Hongjoong takes a swift step closer to you, his breath fanning against your face as you look up at him. Heart pounding like it’s about to explode, the sudden closeness between our two bodies makes you small, only about a foot separating him from colliding with your tense form. His eyes are a harsh contrast to the cold, lifeless expression he previously held up, now they are soft, and kind and you feel your body loosen up as you get lost in the warm gaze of his deep brown eyes. His eyes feel so frequent as if you’ve stared into them before.

“You were the only one ever who was truly kind to us. Please, just have a look, ___,” his voice is no more than a mere whisper and you can feel your heart in your throat. Never having someone this close to you, speaking so softly, is new and you aren't sure if you like it or not. The look in Hongjoong’s eyes both comforts and unnerves you. Before you can even register what has happened, his body is back in the same position as previously, his cheeks turning red and momentarily regretting his sudden uncontrolled actions. 

“I'll tell San to message you the address,” Hongjoong’s cold stare is back as he departs toward the general exit of the building, leaving you to fan your face and take deep breaths to calm the pounding of your heart. Glancing down at the water bottle in your hand, you are now even more confused than you were at the beginning of the week.

What the fuck?

----

Laying on your back, facing the ceiling, millions of thoughts run through your head as you try to decide. Next to you resides your phone, lighting up the dim room, with the messenger app open. Sighing, you pick your phone up one more time to reread through the message for the nth time.

‘Hey, here’s the address for our place. San’

Peering at the profile picture of the contact, the corners of your mouth turn up as you see a cute photo of the animated character Kuromi sleeping. It actually suits San well. You remember when you were with him at the library when he saw your phone case of the Sanrio characters. It seems funny that he has the same characters as his profile picture now. Curiously looking at his profile, you see, the picture was changed six days ago. Just after your tutoring session, it’s probably just a coincidence. As you’re staring at the picture and getting lost in your thoughts, another message notification appears on the top of your screen. This time, it's from Yeji. 

‘hi girl, I really don’t want to rush you but my new roommate is moving in tomorrow, you can maybe sleep on the sofa for the time being but you really need to find a place, my landlord isn't happy about you living here rent-free.’

Groaning, you throw your phone down against your bed once again, bringing your hands up to your eyes to wipe away the stinging sensation rising in them, your stomach feeling uneasy from this whole situation. Every free hour and minute you have, you have been searching for cheap apartments close to the school, yet the only one that you even managed to find was almost twenty miles away and you do not feel like using public transport at ungodly hours in the morning. 

Glancing at your phone once again, you feel conflicted in your head. You know that the boys you have met of Ateez wouldn’t be mad at you for not showing up, yet you feel like you are obligated to. Yes, the place is cheap and only about a ten-minute walk from campus and a fifteen-minute walk to Jisung’s. But it's the idea of living with the Ateez that spooks you a little bit, not really knowing what their true identity is. ‘Fuck it’ you think, what have you got to lose. Throwing yourself off the empty bed, you rush to the suitcase of your clothes to find something somewhat presentable to wear. Settling on one of the three outfits you now have, due to the rest being burnt to a crisp, you pull it on and hope that it at least looks good to them. ‘Why do I care what they think?’ you suddenly think to yourself, not wanting to have to worry about impressing them with your looks. Hurriedly grabbing your necessary belongings, you bolt out of the door, excited and both nervous. You just hope the entire group isn't there to analyse you.

----

Strolling through the long street full of large white brick houses, you feel exceptionally out of place in this insanely rich area. You’re not even sure how you ended up here in the first place and you just know Jisung would smack you if he saw where you were heading. Maybe it was the impression Hongjoong left on you, you still see his warm brown eyes whenever you close your eyes, his soft expression as he moved closer to your body. The way he spoke so softly and tenderly. You haven't even begun to unpack what he said, not knowing what he meant by you were the only one kind to them. Maybe you unknowingly lent them a pen in class? That doesn’t seem like a big enough gesture for them to invite you to literally live with them. Maybe Hongjoong likes you, you think to your self grinning giddily. Smacking your head gently, you remove the grin from your face and try to divert your thoughts from the handsome man, realizing he would never like you like that, let alone want to be your friend. Looking for the number 2410, you scan the houses as you walk from place to place. They are all beautiful detached houses with a large porches. Before you know it, you see the large number appear in front of you, the house seeming much more intimidating than the others, perhaps it's because you know who lives there and who is potentially inside. The walls of the house are white, the roof light blue, with large windows adorning the front and sides. Walking up the driveway and towards the porch, your heart gets heavy with anxiety, realizing the situation you are about to get yourself into. I just hope none of them pull a stunt like Hongjoong did, anything is better than getting your heart swooned again by another handsome male, which just so happens to be all of them so far, fuck. You really don’t have time to be falling for the ‘bad boys’ right now. Surely they won’t get angry at you if you show up and say no to the offer, right?

Reaching the front door, you hesitate to ring the doorbell, your heart attempting to jump out of your throat. When your finger reaches the button, a loud, long ringing noise is heard within the walls of the home, which breaks you out of your semi-unconscious thinking state. You step back slightly, to make sure you’re not right next to the door when it opens, not wanting to be up in the face of the person who opens it if they open the door. Gripping onto the strap of your tote bag for dear life, you silently hope that there is nobody home, but then hope there is someone home, then hope there is not. You heavily debated at this moment whether you should just run away from the door and pretend it was some kid ding dong ditching. Moving away slightly, you get ready to run for your life, when all of a sudden your hopes are shattered and you hear the click of the lock signaling the door to be opened, and you’re met with the top of someone’s head, clearly, he’s more interested with whatever video is playing on his phone.

“Unless you’re selling some of those delicious red velvet cookies, can you kindly piss off, please and thank you.” The door goes to close, yet you quickly stop it by speaking out, causing the man to halt his actions.

“I don't have red velvet cookies, but I could maybe bring you a nice red velvet muffin,” you joke, realising the man behind the door is Wooyoung. Snapping his head up, Wooyoung's ice-cold facade melts away within an instant, being replaced with the same warm smile you saw a few days ago. He can’t believe you actually showed up at the house after waiting for what felt like ages.

“Muffin?” he is surprised to see you, “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up, again,” Wooyoung admits as he opens the door fully, letting you enter. Still not used to the nickname, your heart speeds up ever so slightly.

“Better late than never, right?” You reply bashfully, feeling sorry for coming so late.

“True,” Wooyoung helps you take off your coat and for a moment your heart stops when you feel his warm hands brush against your shoulders, not knowing the way the man helping you feels as he contacts your skin. You mutter a thank you as you take off your shoes, ignoring the way your skin burns upon touch with the man. 

“Sang! She’s here!” Wooyoung yells up the tall stairs placed near the entrance of the house. Suddenly, you hear a clunking coming from upstairs, followed by some banging and shuffling. Then you see a head of white hair pop his head over the top of the staircase, his face is red and hair messy.

“Uh give me one second,” he then disappears and more shuffling and banging sounds are heard. Turning to look at Wooyoung with a confused look on your face, he just shrugs with an amused expression.

“We don't usually have visitors; he’s likely just cleaning all the shit off the floor.”

You nod in recognition, your lips turning up slightly at Yeosang’s rushed, cute actions, knowing all too well what it’s like to have unanticipated visitors.

“Would you like something to drink?” Wooyoung asks you as you both walk further into the house; he opens a door leading to a grand kitchen that looks like it's made for celebrity chefs. 

“Whoa this kitchen is insane,” You stare at it in awe, walking towards the marble top counters, running your hand over the cool material.

“I love it here, I can make all the food my heart desires here,” Wooyoung admits, walking towards where you're standing. You are slightly taken aback to know that Wooyoung likes to cook, but then you remember the amazing muffin he made for you a few days ago and you realise, yes, he is a good cook. Reaching behind you, he opens a cupboard full of glasses, grabbing two he places it next to the large American fridge freezer. 

“No drink?” he asks one more time.

“Oh, I’m sorry, just a water would be nice,” you reply, slightly bashful. Wooyoung’s heart speeds up at the sight of your flustered expression. Grinning at you slightly, Wooyoung then turns around to open the fridge. It's then you hear the banging of someone descending the stairs, rather quickly you notice too. When you turn around you see a red-faced Yeosang, smiling lightly at you. Happily, you return his smile, saying hello to him, to which he replies. He is not the only one who can’t believe you’re standing in their house, finally. Wooyoung hands you a glass of cold water and you thank him. Making his way towards the kitchen island, Yeosang takes a seat at one of the barstools placed around it.

“For a house with eight roommates, it sure is quiet here.” You admit, taking a sip of your water, surprised by the serenity of the place, the only banging coming from Yeosang a few minutes ago. Wooyoung lets out a laugh and Yeosang smiles to himself.

“It’s just us home right now, everyone else is finishing their last lectures of the day or doing homework in the library. Yeosang and I finished early because our dance professor got the flu.”

“You guys are taking dance?” You question, your curiosity getting the best of you, you know Minho and Felix are taking dance too, however, they have never mentioned the two males before, maybe you have to ask them later about it. From this question, the two males’ chests fill with joy knowing they have your interest, even if it’s only for a split second.

Yeosang smiles and answers, “Yeah, we are.” 

“Now you really don’t know anything about us, do you?” Wooyoung says, also curious, “Not to sound narcissistic but I thought almost everyone knows what course we are taking, kinda comes with being the group everyone talks about,” 

Chuckling slightly, you answer, “Like I already said to Yeosang, I kind of live under a rock, I didn't even know about Ateez until like a few weeks ago, and even then, I didn't really care. No offense of course.” 

“None was taken,” Yeosang says, his hand tapping on the island, his eyes watching you intently. Smiling at him once again when you make eye contact, you decide to take a seat on the island too. Choosing the one closest to you, you sit down and are pleasantly surprised by the comfort of the small stool.  

“Which dances do you prefer, like hip hop, ballroom, jazz, or contemporary?” You ask the two males, too curious to not ask some questions, the men look at you incredulously and are taken aback by your question. “What has no one ever asked you that before?” you add, confused by the reaction of the two.

Wooyoung stands on the opposite side of the island, resting against the counter behind him, “Not really, people usually just ask for us to dance for them, dance with them, do a sexy dance, you name it, I don't think anyone has ever actually been interested in the sort of technical stuff, except for maybe our parents.” Yeosang nods to his statement and you start to feel somewhat upset no one has taken the time to actually take interest in their likings, or attempt to know them better. It isn't hard to ask someone what their favorite dance is.

“My mother used to be a dancer, I used to watch her dance all the time when I was younger. I’m interested because it kind of reminds me of her. Plus, it’s much cooler than asking someone to sexy dance for you,” You admit, smiling fondly at the memories of your mother dancing in the living room late at night with your brother hobbling along trying to keep up with her pace, even though he was tired he still moved along with her, wanting to have fun with her. Wooyoung and Yeosang feel extremely happy you care about their dancing in a way not many people do, asking them a question to know them better, and for sharing something personal about yourself. 

“We mostly do hip hop, but Wooyoung is into contemporary these days,” Yeosang answers you, his soft smile not leaving his features whilst he talks. It feels like it's been ages since he’s truly smiled at someone other than his seven friends.

“That’s so cool!” You exclaim loudly, “I wish I could dance but I’ve got similar to the rhythm of an elephant.” Hearing Wooyoung and Yeosang laugh heartily at your comment, your heart swells in your chest, an unfamiliar feeling arriving deep in your heart.

“You’d be surprised, apparently elephants are really good at following a beat,” Wooyoung says, grinning at you from across the counter, sending a small wink in your direction.

“I'll take your word for it, but it doesn't mean you're going to find me in the dance studio any time soon, mark my words.” You joke and laugh together with the two other men, a comfortable silence falling over you.

“As much as we’d love you to be here for dinner, you’re here to look at the house, right?” Wooyoung is the first to break the silence, not wanting you to leave the comfortable space just created, but knowing he has a duty to fulfill. 

“Yes, but it doesn't mean I’m going to take the offer, I just needed to see what there is, you know?” 

Wooyoung and Yeosang’s shoulders droop slightly hearing your comment, upset that even though you’ve come here, you might not take the other. Yeosang is the first to gain his composure, clearing his throat and continuing the conversation in case you notice the small dip in their behavior.

“So do you want to see around?” 

“I’d love to.”

They first take you upstairs, there is a long hallway with eight doors placed along the walls, and you can’t help but wonder how they managed to fit so many rooms. Wooyoung explains each room, showing you inside the two bathrooms that are both equipped with a sizable shower and large bath in the corner, each with a toilet and sink. They do not go into the six bedrooms explaining that their roommates would prefer not to show up without their permission. This causes you to smile to yourself, realizing that they do indeed have respect for people’s boundaries even when they aren't around. However, you can’t help but wonder how each of their rooms differs, how they have decorated them, and how clean they are. When Wooyoung reaches the end of the hallway, you see there are two doors that haven’t been explained yet. 

“These are mine and Yeosang’s rooms,” Wooyoung clarifies and you nod in realisation. The two doors face each other and you laugh mentally, knowing that the two men are close friends so of course their rooms are right next to each other. You expect Wooyoung to move on to the next part of the house just like he has done with every other room, yet when he doesn’t you are surprised. Opening the door he just signified was his room he lets you have a peek in and you suddenly feel grateful that he is sharing something so personal with you. It is a rather plain bedroom, with a large bed in the corner, the bed sheets a dark blue colour, and a bedside table next to it. At the foot of the bed on the opposite side of the wall, is a sizable desk with a monitor screen and a pc. There is a big wardrobe on the other side of the room also. You don’t notice much except for the fact it is very clean and how the bed is much bigger than a regular bed. You also notice a picture frame on his bedside table, you can’t see much of the photo, but it seems awfully familiar for some reason, feeling like you’ve seen it before, you stare at it probably a little longer than you should have.

“That’s my room, just so you know if you accidentally walk into it.” Wooyoung beams at you, closing the door. He momentarily feels insecure by your peering eyes analysing his room, hoping you liked it.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen your room tidy,” Yeosang says nonchalantly, though you can see the teasing grin tugging at his features. Wooyoung’s ears go red as he gently smacks the blonde-haired male.

“How about you show your room too then?”

Immediately, the grin on Yeosang’s face disappears, replaced with a bewildered and taken aback look. Wooyoung sticks his tongue out at him soon after, walking towards the stairs and shaking his head slightly. Laughing softly at the twos bickering, you follow Wooyoung to the stairway and descend down the wide staircase. When downstairs, Wooyoung walks past the kitchen again, and into a different room which seems to be the dining room. In the dining room, there is a large table with four chairs on each side of it. In the center is a bowl of apples, bananas, and pears. The room is rather plain but still feels cozy. Next, the two lead you to the living room which is rather large. There is an enormous U-shaped couch placed against the wall, and a coffee table in the centre, the couch faces a television standing on a display that has shelves full of DVDs. You are impressed again at how clean it is and mentally make a note to check out the movies they have and also to rest on the couch, wishing to see if it is as comfortable as it looks. Strolling back to the hallway, you notice two doors that you didn’t realise were there when you first walked into the house. Yeosang is in the lead as the opens the door, which has some stairs going downwards to some sort of basement. This makes you stop in your tracks immediately and thoughts race through your head.

“Okay not to be rude but I’ve watched enough horror movies to know you never go into someone’s basement when it’s your first time being in their house.” You admit, not too excited to go into the basement of some people you don’t know too well. Wooyoung lets out a boisterous laugh whilst Yeosang is having a hard time keeping his chuckles in. They don't care that you don't want to go down, knowing that it’s smart to not give your trust to them straight away, even if they really want to gain it.

“That’s okay, for another time then, all we have done with the place is put some beanbags and a projector for when we want to have a movie night,” Yeosang speaks out, explaining why they wanted to show you. They aren’t offended at you, understanding why you have your doubts. You nod in consideration; always loving movie nights make you add another pro to why you should potentially take the offer. Closing the door, Yeosang leads you back to the kitchen and around a corner where three more white doors are placed. Two face each other whilst one faces towards the kitchen, almost similar to a u shape. 

“These are more bedrooms, these ones have en suites so there’s no need for an extra toilet downstairs,” Yeosang explains. You briefly remember the door near the entrance of the house, next to the basement, which Wooyoung pointed out as the communal toilet.

“These are Yunho’s and Seonghwa’s bedrooms, and this door is um…” Wooyoung trails off. You notice the way Wooyoung and Yeosang both seem to get somewhat nervous, he continues, “If you were to move here this would be your room,”

You find it somewhat annoying that if you were to move in, you’d be residing next to the two males you have yet to meet. But then again it would give you a chance to get to know them better.

Both Wooyoung and Yeosang have hearts full of hope as you open the door to move inside the room. The room is plain, with nothing but a bed, wardrobe, and desk with no objects on either. You are pleasantly shocked by the size of the room, it’s big but not huge, the perfect size for you to make it into a cozy bedroom. One thing that does stun you though, is the size of the bed. It’s almost the same size as Wooyoung’s, definitely big enough to fit more than three people. Maybe they just all like big beds? One thing you can’t deny is how comfortable it looks. Another thing that confuses you is that there are sheets on it, looking as if someone has slept in it recently, which baffles you a little bit. There is indeed a door inside the room that leads to a stunning bathroom, with a huge shower, this makes you beam, not having to worry about awkward encounters with any of the boys when sharing a bathroom.

“So, what do you think?” Yeosang is the first to break the silence, his voice echoing through the empty space. Both the males are unknowingly looking at you with large, hopeful eyes. 

Peering around the room, turning in a circle

“It’s amazing,” you begin, causing the two to hold on their breaths, full of hope, you continue, “But are you sure it’s okay I live here, five hundred doesn’t seem real to me?”

Immediately Wooyoung and Yeosang jump into action with their words.

“Yes of course! Joong said he pulled strings and so has Seonghwa.” Yeosang stutters out, his voice louder than you’ve ever heard it. This makes you baffled as to why two strangers would pull such strings for you, knowing their reputation it seems rather peculiar for them to act in such ways for someone they have never met before. It seems weird to you that they would even think of helping you, let alone pulling so many extreme strings to ensure you a place to live. Perhaps they aren't as bad as people make them out to be, perhaps they are just huge sweethearts.

You stay silent for about two minutes, contemplating all the options in your head. Little do you know how much the silence pains the two men in front of you, wishing they could read your mind. After one more silent and dreadful moment, you decide to give your answer. 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t…”

[bellybiologist]

Tallying up the Year

I hope you guys' december (which is almost over already, wtf) is going/has gone well! 2024 is upon us.

This christmas weekend, I mostly found myself thinking about how this year went, and honestly? despite all the things I haven't gotten to do, I still managed to accomplish quite a lot.

Me typing this rambly post out is less anything anyone needs to read, but more to remind myself of Things That Got Done™ than anything else because sometimes... I forget I do be getting shit done! And it's important we remind ourselves of the work we do.

The Things That got Done™

I advocated for my own Health. I scheduled (and went to!) so many doctor and dental appointments this year, holy shit. But, if the last few years have taught me anything, I simply have to put in the effort. I got my colon mostly sorted out, started a new regimen for my skin and hair (after chopping it off) so I'm feeling better, schedule an appointment with the optometrist in January, and even got lots of issues with my teeth fixed. Granted, our broken medical system made it incredibly stressful, and i spent thousands of dollars on the latter that I will be paying off til next july BUT!!!! This section is about the good things.

Started Streaming Again! I've been missing streaming since I stopped way back in I believe 2020. It was a fun way to interact with followers and supporters, so I'm glad I'm back to it on a regular schedule, with many of the old regulars still joining me while I work. Speaking of which:

I finished 43 total stream doodles. While I'm only filling a handful a month, it's definitely adding up! 40+ boys in the span of 5 months is nothing to scoff at, and that's not even considering that I'm doing this alongside normal patreon work.

I finished 39 total commissions this year. I'm definitely still going quite slowly, and I thank everyone who has been extraordinarily patient thus far, but I'm happy to say that my pace has been decent... at least relative to previous years. I got more done in the last 5 months than i did in the roughly year and a half period before 2023!

Replaced SEVERAL appliances that broke down. My computer moniter, my microwave, my refrigerator... all failed on my this year, and it took some work, but I finally managed to get them all replaced! So far, everything is working fine, but next on my agenda is to save up for a new desktop. This one I use for work has been at it since 2017, and it's about time to look into upgrading.

My Google Drive is Looking Nice. It's still not perfect, but I'm still immensely proud of how it's shaping up. There's still some curating of older pieces to do, but I've found a stride where I'm regularly updating it for people to peruse.

=====

Now despite these W's, I still got a long way to go. The things below could be considered resolutions for 2024, but that feels cursed to call them that. They are simply:

Things I Want to GET Done

Adding more YCH Figures. I was definitely expecting to have more to choose from by this point. And I really need to update some of the older ones too, because I think they've aged poorly. I got some neat suggestions and hopefully will find some time this week to showcase them in my discord to collect some feedback before releasing them.

Do more involved pieces/projects. I want to do more things like Comics, or simply pieces that I work on over the course of several sittings, ones where I can experiment and fiddle and practice!!! I rarely ever get to do that these days (I've only finished a few Big Personal Pieces this year), and I need to find time and energy to do them more because those are the things that truly make me feel like I grow as an artist. (and maybe I can find a shading style I actually fucking tolerate.). I also want to get more OC development and stuff done too, cuz I really didn't draw my children a whole lot this year!

Make more fucking Money!!!!! Let's not kid ourselves. I want to get to a point where I'm not just barely meeting the monthly quota. How to get there? I don't know, honestly. Things are so very stacked against artists right now, so it really does feel like the only thing that can be done is Not Give Up. Which I won't do. If/when I go down, I'm making it everyone else's problem. Trust. 😏

Save up to Visit the Boyfriend. I haven't seen him since January 2022! Big goal is to be comfortable enough to where I can fly my ass up there and smooch him. 👏🏽

======

I won't lie, i'm going into 2024 quite anxious and still scraping by by the skin of my teeth (that I'm still paying for). It's going to be a BIG year cuz oh boy, it's election year, there's plenty of family developments i gotta keep an eye on and work to be a part of... not to mention all the horrible stuff going on still (free palestine!).

Here's hoping shit goes our way this coming year! And let's get ,more strikes going so everyone is getting their fucking money!!! :V

[icypantherwrites]

So I received this absolute gem of a comment today. /s Ironically enough, contrary to this "person's" writing, they did in fact seek out this story (given that its been finished for several months and is quite far down on my profile at this point) and they did in fact spend the time to read a 50,000 word story given that they opted to leave this hateful, vitriol spewed comment on the final chapter. Not sure how that's actively avoiding but take a look for yourself. The comment has already been deleted as trying to respond or reason with people like this is a waste of my energy and sanity.

I'm going to go ahead and give a quick analogy to this situation that maybe a few more people can identify with rather than just fellow creators so you can see how hurtful words like this are. Someone (the author) throws a party. For the sake of structure we're going to call it an open house party where people can come and go as they please without any set activities or timelines. A person (this commenter) arrives to the party. They don't bring a host gift; perfectly fine, the open house is free and open to everyone to enjoy and celebrate (in this case enjoy a like fandom together) regardless of how long you've known the host or how close you are to them (in this scenario the person had left a single line comment on a single work in 2021 and that was the only interaction they'd ever had, just to set the scene further).

This person comes in and doesn't seek out the host to say hello or let them know they've arrived. They spend their entire time at the party eating and drinking and having fun. They leave without ever speaking to the host to say thank you, what a great time they had/are having, great party. They're a ghost. Maybe, maybe, the host caught a glimpse of them in the crowd (leaving a kudo or a bookmark) but otherwise they came, they partied, and they left without ever even acknowledging the host's effort, time, or energy spent to put on the party. It sucks and the host is hurt but there's nothing they can do.

But then, in this scenario, the attendee reaches out after the fact to send a scathing text to the host about all the things wrong with the party. The host had run out of their favorite food, the drink selection was poor, there weren't enough chairs to sit on, the music was too loud. They literally have to have the last word of hate and cruelty and stomp all over a free event that was put on for them to enjoy without any expectations except the polite and kind thank you for hosting, had a great time. Quite honestly, who the fuck does that? This person, apparently, and they are unfortunately far from the first I've encountered.

So to all of this, if you are someone who is so offended to an author saying something in their notes like "please don't read and run," or "if you enjoyed the story I'd really appreciate hearing from you in the comments," or "please share a little love with the author and leave a comment," or "this was a really hard story for me to write, it'd mean a lot to hear from you," and have to react in the above way of spending all that time to spew hate when they could have easily just left a 'enjoyed the story' or even just walked away with a kudo (or not) ... then please don't read my works. I don't have the energy any more to deal with just hateful, cruel people, and I don't want them reading my works about support and teamwork and being there for each other. I don't honestly even know why they'd want to when clearly those sorts of messages are at odds with their personal beliefs.

It costs nothing to be kind. And while I would love for everyone to write detailed comments with favorite scenes and parts and feedback, I appreciate just as much the person who says "thanks for the story" and leave it at that because at least they took the few seconds, a single moment, to give back to that author after reading their time and effort and energy. And if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all and just walk away. Better to be a ghost than someone who actively seeks to hurt others.

Between comments like these and all the AI-stuff still floating about I have really been waffling between setting my AO3 to logged-in users only. I'm trying not to do that as I know there are many who don't have accounts for one reason or another and this is how they are able to access my works, but it's becoming a more distinct possibility. I really hope I don't have to resort to that. Please don't make that have to be the only outlet I have left to protect myself (although, this was a logged in user so even that isn't foolproof.)

If you read this and want to help make a positive difference, go out there today and spread some love. Leave a comment -- short and sweet or super detailed, whatever you feel comfortable with doing -- on story you read today. Tag a favorite author in a post. Draw fanart. Compliment someone in person on their smile. Do a random act of kindness. Donate to a favorite charity or help someone in need. Please, please help put kindness back into the world because right now, at least to me, it just feels very very dark and it definitely needs some more bright lights.

[spnhunter4life]

So Long

Summary: Jenna and Dean have known each other since she was 9 and he was 11. Their fathers often hunted together, so they grew up in next door motel rooms, keeping each other company and watching out for Sammy. They were inseparable until their dads inevitably fought and stopped working together. Shortly after Sam left for college, her father had been killed on a hunt and his dad had been more and more distant, so they started hunting together. In a world where everyone has a tattoo of their soulmate’s name that appears somewhere on them on their 16th birthday, it took them a ridiculous amount of time to figure things out.

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: I’ve always really loved the soulmate cliché, so I decided to write one of my own. As I was figuring out the basics of what I wanted to do, Niall Horan’s song So Long came on my playlist. It’s a beautiful song and I realized how well it fit the story I was trying to come up with, so this is based off of it.

A/N 2: So I just jumped back on the Supernatural bandwagon. While I was never truly off the wagon per se, it was more of a background appreciation for it while I was interested in other things. But I finally convinced myself to finish season 15 and now I'm all in again.

I remembered this fic I started like four years ago. I never posted it because it wasn't finished. It's still not, but I went back and reread what I have so far, and I'm actually super happy with it. So, that being said, I'm going to admit that I'm a super inconsistent writer. I might be super motivated to write for a few days (which I definitely am right now) and then not write again for a year. That's half the reason I never posted it. The other half is because, while I don't actually write things down often, I make stories in my head constantly and I've realized that I often go back and change details to fit the new direction I've decided to go in. And so I didn't want to post this until I was all done in case I wanted to make changes. But I decided I can edit and let people know things changed if it comes to that. I'm hoping if I can get some people to see this and get a little feedback, it will keep me motivated to write. All feedback is appreciated! Tell me what you liked. Tell me what could improve. Let me know if you find any grammar errors or inconsistencies. As long as it’s said nicely, I’m glad for absolutely any comments you might have.

My plan is to update weekly to give myself time to get the next chapters done. The second chapter is currently done/super close to done. Not sure if I want to add more to it or move it to another chapter. I’ve got a decent start on chapter 3 also. With the outline I have currently, this story is set to be 8 chapters. That could easily change though. 

Also, shoutout to @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​. You probably don’t even remember, but you read this chapter over for me way back when I first wrote it, so thanks for the support you gave me then!

Sorry for the super long note, and thanks for reading this far if you did!

Series Masterlist

Looking back through changes Where we started from Don’t know about you but I Knew it wasn’t wrong

Ages 16 and 17 June 25, 1996

I woke up, not exactly expecting to feel different, but maybe hoping. Today I would find out who my soulmate was. At least, I’d get a first name. Even though I knew it was stupid to get my hopes up, I couldn’t help but secretly want it to be Dean’s name. I was also nervous. Did I really want to know? If it wasn’t Dean, how would I deal with the disappointment? But if it was Dean, how could I possibly approach a subject like that? And even then, it wouldn’t mean it was Dean Winchester I was meant to be with. There were other Deans in the world. And wouldn’t he have said something by now if my name was tattooed on him somewhere?

Taking a deep breath, I looked over all of the skin currently exposed by my pajamas. Nothing on my arms or legs from the knees down.  I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 9:30. I couldn’t believe I’d slept that long, that my dad had let me!

I jumped out of bed, grabbing my towel and clothes for the day, heading straight for the shower. I’d made one friend in this small Louisiana town, a very outgoing girl I’d bumped into while getting groceries with Sam and Dean. She’d been excited to meet someone new, saying all of her friends were on vacation for the summer, and she and I were supposed to meet up soon to spend the day together.

I started the shower to let the temperature adjust and then started the process of removing my clothes, checking each inch of revealed skin for a name. Nothing yet, then. Supposedly, the name showed up around the time of day you were born. I had no idea what time that was, so I would let Alyssa distract me for the day and check again tonight.

When I came out of the bathroom wearing shorts and a t-shirt with my hair in a ponytail to combat some of the summer heat, my dad was just closing the door, chocolate chip muffins, my favorite breakfast food, in his hand.

“Happy birthday,” he smiled. “How does it feel to be sixteen?” He asked this question every year, but this was the big year, and it held a little more weight behind it. “It feels… pretty much the same as every other year I guess.” I told him honestly. Other than my nerves being slightly on edge with the upcoming soulmate reveal, it felt like any other day. “What are you still doing here? I thought you and John would’ve left by now.”

“That was the original plan, but I couldn’t leave without seeing my daughter on her birthday. I wanted to have the chance to eat breakfast together. The case can wait a couple hours.” He told me, sitting down at the table.

“Where are those two shadows of yours?” He teased as I took a seat across from him and grabbed a muffin. I knew he wouldn’t ask about my tattoo. He didn’t like people prying into his life and he didn’t pry into mine. He knew I’d tell him if I wanted to.

“I have no idea,” I replied as I peeled the wrapper off my muffin. “I haven’t seen either of them, but I just got up. Thanks for letting me sleep in by the way.”

“I figured one day can’t hurt. But don’t think you can go slacking off. It’s back to morning runs and training after this.” He said before taking a bite of his own muffin. “I still don’t understand why those boys aren’t here. You three make such a big deal out of each other’s birthdays, I half expected them to break down the door.” He mused.

“Maybe they forgot. And we don’t make ‘such a big deal.’ One present and a movie night isn’t too much to ask. Besides, it’s mostly Sam. Dean always made a big deal about his birthdays growing up and so Sam learned to do the same for us.” I told him.

“Yeah but a bunch of kids scrounging up enough money to get those presents for each other is a big deal.” He said with a fond smile. Taking the last bite of his muffin, he stood and grabbed something off of the counter. “Speaking of presents,” he said as he handed it to me.

“Dad, you didn’t have to.” I told him as I grabbed it. 

“I know I didn’t, but it’s not every day your baby girl turns sixteen. It’s not much, but I thought you would enjoy it.” He replied a little awkwardly.

I grinned and wrapped my arms around him, Backstreet Boys CD clutched in my hand. I had found them on accident really. It was all Alyssa’s fault. I generally enjoyed the same music as Dean, but she had showed me one of their songs and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Dad had heard me humming it one day which led to an embarrassing confession.

“Don’t tell Dean.” I pleaded, knowing the endless teasing and likely judgment I would be on the receiving end of if he found out. “Oh, I wouldn’t dare.” Dad laughed, pulling away from the hug.

“I should probably go find him though,” I said, glancing at the clock. “I’m supposed to meet Alyssa soon and he said he’d drive me.”

“Have fun!” I heard him shout as I left our motel room. I saw the Impala parked by the room next door, so I knew he was here at least. Since Dean has legally been able to drive, John gave it to Dean and the two of them take either my dad’s truck or the one John had purchased after gifting Dean the Impala. As I raised my hand to knock, the door flew open.

“Oh!” John said, startled. “I was just going to tell your dad we need to get going. I’m glad you’re up.” Then he was in the motel room I’d just abandoned, not waiting for my response.

“Hi to you to.” I mumbled under my breath. I walked through the door John had left open to see Dean sprawled out on the couch. He turned to me when I closed the door and grinned.

“Hey, there’s the birthday girl!” He exclaimed, prompting Sam to run out of the bathroom, dressed and looking fresh from the shower, toothbrush in his mouth.

“Jenna! You’re here! I wanted to go to your room a while ago, but Dean told me to let you sleep. Were you sleeping?” Before I could answer him, he rushed on. “He told me you’re going to spend the day with your friend, but we’re still going to have our movie night, right? We have to have our movie night. It’s our tradition!”

“Breathe, Sam.” I chuckled. “Of course we’re having movie night. It wouldn’t be a birthday without it. Now how about you go finish brushing your teeth before you start drooling on the floor.” Content with my answer, he hurried back to the bathroom, hand cupped under his chin where toothpaste bubbles were trying to drip down.

“So,” Dean drawled, getting up off the couch. “The big 16. How’s it feel?” He walked over to stand next to me and, not for the first time, I was struck with how effortlessly gorgeous he was. His hair was tousled and still slightly damp from the shower he must have taken this morning. He wore his usual jeans, t-shirt, flannel, and boots, the amulet Sam had given him hanging around his neck, but somehow, he was the most attractive guy I had ever seen. I knew it wasn’t a biased opinion, every girl in every school always drooled after him.

“I assume it feels the same as you felt a year ago.” I replied once my brain started functioning again. “You still good to take me to meet Alyssa?” I asked.

“Sweetheart, have I ever bailed on you?” He asked, mock offended.

“Well…” I trailed off, remembering the handful of times Sam and I had been left to fend for ourselves while he was off with a girl. When I saw him looking at me expectantly, I sighed. “Not when it really counted, no.” I relented.

“Did you ask her yet?” Sam questioned, reappearing from the bathroom and heading for Dean. Dean sighed and looked at me. “Is it ok with you if Sam comes with to drop you off? I don’t know why he’s even asking. I know you don’t care, but he wouldn’t leave me alone about it this morning.”

“That’s not true!” Sam denied. “He told me I could come if you said yes, and I know you usually don’t care, but since you’re 16 today I thought you might want to talk.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Talk about what?” I asked, brow wrinkled in confusion. There’s not much Dean and I didn’t talk about in front of the kid. I don’t know why he thought there was suddenly a need for privacy or what being 16 had to do with it. “About-” he started, but then cut himself off, looking anxious. “I don’t know.” He continued, head down and shuffling his feet. “Just… being 16?”

I looked to Dean, hoping for some kind of explanation, but he just shrugged his shoulders, although he seemed a little annoyed, like he knew more than he was letting on. I wasn’t in the mood to press the issue though.

“Ok…. Well I don’t have any super-secret conversations that need to be had with your brother, so if you want to come along, that’s fine.” I assured Sam. 

“Good! When are we leaving?” He asked excitedly.

“If Dean’s ready, then right now would be good.” I replied, looking to Dean. He answered by shrugging on his leather jacket, plucking the keys off the table and holding the door open for me.

With everyone piled in the car, Dean started toward the mall where I was supposed to meet Alyssa. It was a typical car ride, Sam chattering away in the back, and Dean humming along to Led Zeppelin. I told Dean where to park. Alyssa wasn’t there yet, but I was content to sit and wait with the boys.

“I thought we might have to wait until tonight to give this to you, but I’m glad we don’t have to.” Sam said excitedly, pulling a box out of his jacket pocket. “It was my idea to get this kind of present for you, but Dean helped me pick it out.” He looked to his brother with a proud smile before handing the box to me.

I was a little nervous to open it. Sam was so excited, I didn’t want to disappoint him if I didn’t like it. Although he’d never say anything, I could tell Dean was a little nervous too by the way he tensed his shoulders and bit his lip. I carefully opened the box and gasped.

Inside was a bracelet made from ribbons of silk. It was twisted around so that it looked like four different strands. The top and bottom of each ribbon was an olive green while the middle was mulberry. One of the ribbons wrapped through a gold button that was used to adjust the size. I couldn’t believe something so beautiful was for me.

“I love it!” I told them as I took it out of the box to place on my left wrist. I noticed Dean’s quiet, relieved exhale and turned to hug him. “Thank you.” I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me before mumbling a quiet “You’re welcome,” into my hair.

“And thank you too!” I said, pulling away from Dean to face a fidgety, giddy looking Sam in the back. He flung his upper body over the seat to get a hug of his own. “You’re gonna have a pretty hard time topping this one.” I informed him as I sat back. Sam just grinned.

“My friend at the last school had a bracelet that she wore all the time and I asked her if that was a good idea for a 16th birthday present for you,” he explained. “She said if you like jewelry it was a good idea, and I know you like Dean's amulet, so I told him about my idea and he said we’d keep an eye out for anything you might like. There was a lot of stuff I thought you would like, but Dean kept saying they weren’t right.” I glanced at Dean and saw a slight blush gracing his freckled cheeks.

“He liked that one as soon as he saw it. I didn’t know why you’d like it any better than any of the ones I pointed out, but I know you guys know each other really well so I just told him to make sure you knew getting a bracelet was my idea.” He finished, slightly out of breath.

Before I could say anything to assure Sam I appreciated his efforts and relieve Dean of his embarrassment, there was a knock on my window. Startled, I jumped a little before facing the window where Alyssa stood waiting. Turning to look at the boys, I thanked them again for the amazing present and then opened the door to get out of the car and say hi to her. As I was closing the door, I heard Dean say my name.

“Just a second.” I said to Alyssa before opening the door again and sticking my head in. “What’s up?” I asked.

“I was just wondering when and where I should be picking you up.” He replied. “Oh, right. I didn’t even think about that.” I said, turning to Alyssa to figure out the details. “Cleary.” He teased. I looked back at him, sarcastic comment at the ready, but I saw the twinkle in his eye and knew he was just joking. I shushed him and closed the door, turning to once again face Alyssa.

“I can drive you back, it’s no problem.” She assured me. 

“Are you sure? Dean doesn’t have anything else he needs to be doing, and I know he likes to do it anyway. He’s a bit protective like that. The first time he dropped Sam off at a friend’s I thought he was going to sit outside the house the whole time.” I told her, smiling at the memory.

“It’s really no problem. I don’t have any definite plans for the day so I wouldn’t know what to tell him anyway.” She said. 

“Ok…” I trailed off, giving her one last chance to change her mind. She gave me a look, clearly stating that she wouldn’t so I passed the information on to Dean.

“You don’t even have a guess about when you’ll be done?” He asked. I knew he liked to have a timeline so if someone wasn’t back when they were expected he would know something was wrong. If he didn’t have any schedule to follow, he’d spend the whole time worrying, unsure if something had happened or we just weren’t done yet. 

“Well I have to be back in time for movie night,” I reminded him with a wink in Sam’s direction, “so I won’t be gone any later than… say 8:30? That should give us time to watch a couple of movies before Sam passes out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Dean relented, slightly less on edge now that he had a set time. “Have fun.” He smiled. I closed the door and watched them drive off.

“Are you ready to do some shopping?” Alyssa asked with a grin.

~~~~~

“You have to have a swimsuit!” Alyssa insisted as we walked by racks of them at Kohl’s. “Not if you never go swimming, you don’t.” I countered.

“But what if you do go swimming? What are you going to wear then?” She argued. “I don’t know. I’m sure if the opportunity came up, I’d just go buy one.” I told her. “Then why not buy one now?” She asked.

“Because,” I sighed. “We move around a lot. We’re not exactly hitting up five-star hotels with pools or renting homes that have one. I think the last time I went swimming was when I was 12 and the house we were renting had a pond.”

“Ok, well I have a pool, it’s the middle of summer in Louisiana, and I might invite you over to swim sometime. Besides, I’m buying so you can’t really argue that much.” She said, flipping her strawberry blonde hair as she turned and pulled me towards the swimwear.

“That’s a nice bracelet,” she commented, looking at my wrist where I was half-heartedly searching through a rack of one-piece swimsuits. “Yeah,” I smiled. “Sam and Dean gave it to me for my birthday.”

“It’s pretty. I didn’t think boys were any good at finding decent jewelry.” She remarked as she moved on to the next rack. She didn’t like the one-pieces anyway and had only been humoring me, ironic since I was only humoring her about the swimsuits in general. 

“I swear Dean has some sort of sixth sense for what people will like. Well,” I corrected, “not people. But me and Sam.”

“This one! You have to try this one!” Alyssa said excitedly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked to where she was holding a white and blue two-piece. “I know you didn’t want a two-piece, but this isn’t a bikini. It doesn’t show much more than a one-piece would.” Seeing my hesitation, she continued. “Just try it on. If you hate it, we’ll put it back.”

“Yes!” She cheered, seeing my resignation. She handed the suit to me and led the way to the changing rooms.

It was definitely a nice-looking suit, I’d give her that much. The top piece was thick enough all the way through that there was no danger of anything showing. It had a clasp in the back and three strings to tie around my neck, two white and one robin’s egg blue. The bottom piece started like a normal bikini bottom, but thicker. Above the hips it cut in to cover only the front of my torso, leaving my back and sides exposed, and went up to the bottom of my ribs. There were three strings encircling my back, keeping the material up. It was decorated with flowers in shades of blue, and as much as I liked it – although I’d never admit it to Alyssa – I didn’t think I would be comfortable wearing it in public.

“Are you ready yet?” I heard her ask through the door. 

“Kind of. I have it on, but I don’t know if I want to come out.” I admitted. 

“Come on, you can’t look that bad.” She encouraged.

“It’s not that.” I told her. “I’m just not comfortable showing this much skin. I live in jeans, you know. The only reason I’m wearing shorts is because I might actually die from this heat.”

“Just come out. No one’s going to see you. I promise there’s no one else around.” She encouraged.

I sighed before opening the door and peering my head around. I was met with an unimpressed look. “Alright, I’m coming.” I relented. I stepped out of the changing stall and was greeted with a wolf whistle from Alyssa. “Cut it out!” I blushed.

“Why? You look great!” she exclaimed. “As much as I like that bracelet, it really doesn’t match the-” she cut off. 

“What?” I asked nervously? 

“Umm… did you find your tattoo yet?”

I was a little shocked. It was an awfully personal question to be asking someone you’d only known for a couple of weeks. “No. Why?” I asked a little defensively. She nodded toward my left side where my hand was hanging by my hip. I impulsively lifted it to my face, scanning for the name. 

“Not your hand,” she said.

I slowly looked down to my left side just above my hip where, just as she said, I could see the top of thick black letters peeking over the swimsuit.

~~~~~

“Alright, right’s wrong?” Dean asked, pausing the movie. We were halfway through our second movie of the night, Mission Impossible, and while I was enjoying it, I couldn’t seem to sit still. I was sat between the two boys, Dean’s arm resting on the back of the couch behind my head, our usual seating situation on movie nights. Sam was slouched over, starting to drift off. He could never seem to stay awake for more than one movie.

“What? Nothing’s wrong. Why do you think something’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Well, you haven’t sat still for more than five minutes at a time and I can see the wheels spinning in your head. You know you can talk to me about anything right?” He sounded genuinely concerned. 

“I know.” I sighed.

“Nothing happened, right? You’ve seemed a little off since you got back.” He pushed, not for the information he knew I wasn’t ready to give, but for assurance that I was alright. 

“I’m fine,” I told him honestly. “It’s just… I found my tattoo while we were trying on clothes. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, figure out how I feel.” I confessed.

“Oh.” Was his only response. I could tell he wanted to press for more information, but he stayed quiet.

~~~~~

“I can’t look at it. I don’t want to know what it says. What do I do?” I asked. My breath was coming faster and I was starting to panic.

“Hey. Hey! Jenna! Look at me. Deep breath.” Alyssa calmly instructed, demonstrating and breathing with me until my breathing was back to normal. “You’re going to have to see it sometime. It’s unavoidable. Right now, it doesn’t change anything. It just gives you a name. You can do whatever you want with that name once you have it. It doesn’t decide anything for you.”

I knew she was right and steeled myself to look at it, Alyssa waiting patiently. Carefully, I pushed the swimsuit strap down just enough to reveal the name underneath.

DEAN

 Ages 14 and 16 January 24, 1995

Dean’s POV

I stared at the ceiling, willing myself to find the energy to get out of bed. I heard Sam moving around, getting ready for school, but I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. I knew that by the end of the day I would have letters inked into my skin. Letters that spelled out my soulmate’s name. I had no illusions about my family’s lifestyle and what it would mean for my soulmate. It would be a bittersweet moment, finally learning her name, but knowing I could never allow myself to be with her, to put her in that kind of danger.

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I rubbed my eyes before standing up and starting to get ready for the day. I had decided I wasn’t going to look for the tattoo. I would put it off for as long as I could and see it whenever I happened to stumble upon the patch of skin it showed up on.

~~~~~

It had been a pretty good morning. My anxiety had faded to the background when a smiling Jenna came into our room with bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast. It wasn’t elaborate by any means, but it was more than we usually had and the fact that she took the time to make it for us, for me, made it that much more special.

The two of them had given me the gift they picked out right away this morning when an excited Sam decided he couldn’t wait until after school. He halfway disappeared under the bed for a few seconds, wiggling his way back out with a box clutched in his hands. He proudly handed it to me and then watched in eager anticipation as I opened two new movies, Jumanji and Batman Forever.

“Now we have something to watch for movie night too!” He exclaimed. I thanked them both and then we headed to school, Jenna’s dad dropping us off.

Now I was sitting in the locker room, changing back into my regular clothes after gym class. I had opted out of a shower, not wanting to find my tattoo in this miserable place, surrounded by strangers I would have to guard my reaction around. I had my foot up on the bench I was sitting on, switching out my sweaty socks for a dry pair, lost in my thoughts when I heard someone to my left snicker and say, “Isn’t Jenna your sister?”

My head whipped around to look at Matt, the guy who had spoken. He was a sophomore like me, and while he wasn’t wildly popular, he sure thought he was something special. “What?” I snapped, confused about why he was asking about her. My protective instincts flared up. We had only been at this school for a week, but I was well aware how attractive Jenna was, and if this kid thought he was going to try something he had another thing coming. “Why?” I asked, failing to keep the suspicion out of my voice.

“Didn’t the two of you show up around the same time? And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the two of you coming to school in the same car,” he mused. “So you must be her brother. That’s gotta be pretty awkward. Unless you know another Jenna?” 

“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” I snapped.

“Dude, don’t they have different last names?” Chimed in a freshman whose name I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful for or irritated by his input. “So unless they have different dads or something… I don’t think they’re related.” Irritated, I decided. He hadn’t said anything offensive, and his analysis wasn’t wrong, but I found I didn’t like the way he was obviously looking for Matt’s approval.

“Really? How do you know that?” Matt asked. Without waiting for a reply, he continued.

“Well that’s a relief. It would be pretty weird if your sister was your soulmate.” He laughed. “Too bad though,” he continued, having gained the attention of most of the locker room. “She’s not half bad looking. I might ask her out anyway, see what she really thinks about her pathetic, loser soulmate.”

I clenched my jaw. Having lived in tight quarters for years, Jenna and Sam had learned to back off at this, that it meant I was seriously pissed off. Matt had the misfortune of not knowing me so well. “Leave her alone.” I warned. I had managed to keep my temper so far, but if he actually made a move on her, all bets were off. 

“Don’t worry,” Matt drawled on. “I’ll test her out for you. Let you know if she’s actually worth your ti-”

Before he even realized I was moving I had crossed the couple of steps to him, grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and shoved him back into the lockers. “I don’t know what you’re even talking about,” I seethed, “but you better stay away from her or I’ll make sure that my pathetic loser face is the last thing you see before I put you in the hospital.”

I turned away from him and, after taking a step, ducked, effectively dodging the punch I had seen him getting ready to throw. I spun back around and landed a solid punch to his face before grabbing my shoes and walking out the door. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the bleachers lacing up my boots that I saw it. Inked into the skin of my left ankle was her name.

JENNA

Chapter 2

[ummick]

Mick's Diary: Bringing Performance to the Track

Hi everyone. Welcome to another chapter of my diary! Plenty has happened since we last spoke. The season is now in full swing, and a lot has been going on. I've done the first test in the W14 which was great. Completing the Pirelli tyre test in Barcelona and getting back in the car was a good feeling, and very special. For me, it was a big step up driving the W14. I know the team are working hard to create a winning car and I have no doubt that they will. I've seen this in the past couple of weeks, how determined the team is and how everyone's got their heads down, focused and how responsive they are to issues and feedback. There have been loads of things that I've learned from the team so far and I really appreciate that. Things that I can take forward in my career.

It's been a very busy, but good, period in the simulator too. I'm aware that the simulator is never going to be a 100 percent replication of real life. You have certain factors that play a role driving the real car that you just don't have in the simulator. In the sim, it's all about having as close correlation as possible with reality. That's what we are working for, and I feel like we are taking the actions necessary to bring the simulator as close as possible to the real thing. Spain was a tough day and long night in the simulator on the Friday, so it was nice to see the comments afterwards from Toto and the drivers. What's also important is crediting the people behind the scenes in the simulator and the whole team in Brackley and Brixworth who work day and night to push the development forward.

I've definitely been on a learning curve since joining the team, but now I've settled in more and have a deeper understanding of the car itself. As I have driven the W14 too, I have a reference so can really judge the changes that the drivers make on track and relate to those feelings that I had driving it. It's a different kind of learning now. The simulator work can be quite tough mentally. You are driving in front of a computer, so the screen makes your eyes tired. Whenever I'm away from it, I try to reduce the screen time, not sit glued to my phone or computer.

Most recently I was at the Goodwood Festival of Speed with the Team. It was my first time there and I really enjoyed seeing so many fans. It was a shame the weather meant we couldn't run on Saturday, but Sunday was super special. I got to drive the 2021 car, the W12. It was amazing how much grip the car had and the speed it could carry through the corners, so it makes sense how Lewis and Valtteri were able to win races and fight for championships in it.

Driving the 2011 W02, the car that my dad drove for the Team, was particularly special and I had a lot of emotions driving it. I even did some donuts in it. I want to say a big thank you to everyone in the Team for creating the opportunity and making it possible. There's been lots going on, as you can probably tell! So when I'm not working, I've been enjoyed being out in nature and having some proper time off. I feel like I've found a good balance so far. I've been just as busy as I have been in previous years and I wouldn't have thought that prior to the start of the year. That's been a good thing, keeping me sharp and hopefully that'll prepare me for when I am back in a car.

I just wanted to finish this entry by thanking you, the fans, for all your support. I hope everyone is doing well and looking out for each other. Hopefully these diary entries give a good insight into what I'm up to. I'll be checking in with you later in the year so until then, take care.

[loudstan]

Hello! I came across your blog when I saw the Comforting Jisung post while randomly scrolling. I saw that it was part of a series/nct wolf universe fic collection and now I have read all of your stories AND I AM SO IN LOVE 🥹😭 I don't usually read wolf-themed fics (maybe because I don't really understand the ABO dynamics) but your stories I really like. Especially Jisung's 🥹🥹🥹 He is my bias (and Doyoung, too). I love how each character is portrayed in your fics. I know you just got back to writing again but I am really looking forward to your future works!! 🫶 I also enjoyed reading your asks (yes I did a lot of scrolling on your blog) and I love the feedback and suggestions/ideas they were giving for the other members' stories.

My favorite story so far has to be Yuta's. I love how you depicted his character. We all know he could look cold and intimidating but deep inside he is a softie and a romantic. He would probably be so sickeningly sweet and domestic with his mate *sighs dreamily* 🥹 I laughed so hard when it was revealed that he was the one who broke into the apothecary 🤣 I imagined Jaemin and Jeno's shocked faces when they find that out later on 🤣

Thank you so much for writing your stories and sharing them with us! I have lost a few of my favorite Tumblr authors through the years but I am happy I found your account! You are most definitely added to my favorites list ❤️

Welcome!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to write these lovely words! My readers are often cooler and have better ideas than me haha And everyone is so supportive too so I'm always happy to read everyone's asks.

It sucks that so many authors are leaving, but I kind of understand that sometimes they have other stuff going on or it just gets exhausting, because I've been there. To be honest I almost left tumblr completely but I got so many nice asks from readers while I was away, that they made me want to come back, so here we are!

[j-nipper-95]

20 Questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tags for this @theearlgreymage and @wellbelesbian. I'm so slow at responding to these sorts of posts. Also, this one is going to be a little tricky, as I only have the one fic up on AO3, so I will be throwing in a few stats from my original novel, 'A Survivor's Revenge', as well.

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently just the one, 'The Trails We Blaze'. But there is also ASR, my long term original novel, that I'm going to be focussing on again in November.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

TTWB currently has a published word count of 20,059 words, with a total of 68,238. (the will only continue to grow - there's still so much of the original plot of El Dorado to adapt for this AU!) ASR on the other hand is already a monster. Before I split the original draft in two to make the first two books, the draft came in at around 130k, incomplete. Currently, the first book is sitting at 78,278 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Carry On. It's also the only fandom I read fanfic for.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm still shocked by how well Trails is doing after only a month or so of posting, so thank you thank you THANK YOU for showing this fic so much love. 1,247 kudos is more than I thought the fic would ever get in its entirety, and we're barely scratching the surface of this chaotic journey.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I've loved replying to comments on this fic. It's so nice to know that the fic is resonating with people, and what everyone enjoys about the chapters. I especially love when people pick up on lines from canon, and even mention things I didn't consciously notice when I was writing that reference canon. And just getting to nerd out about the research that's gone into this fic. Anyone who knows me IRL knows how much of a classics nerd I am (unsurprising given I have two degrees), and it's been fun flexing those muscles again. It's also been wonderful seeing what resonates with people over here on tumblr when I share snippets of ASR for WIPsDays. Everyone in the CO fandom has been so supportive of me sharing those snippets, and I can't wait for the day when I get to share Lauren and her story properly with the world.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Trails is unlikely to be especially angsty (I haven't actually planned the ending, but if we're going by the ending of El Dorado, there's likely to be a happy ending. But I don't know, it's a mystery to me at this point!) ASR on the other hand ... Book 1 and book 2 have especially angsty endings. Where the series as a whole is concerned, let's just say I made myself cry when I wrote a line for a scene from the final book. It'll be multiple books of build up for a gut wrenching finale. Only one character is guaranteed to survive from the entire cast. You have been warned.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

None so far, but it's likely to be Trails. Only time will tell!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far, no. Everyone has been so so lovely with feedback about ASR and Trails!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I am an aro/ace bean who's not really experienced much, so whenever I try to write smut I struggle due to lack of practical experience (that's such a clinical way to put it, but brain no work right now, so that's the best way I can think to phrase it). But if I ever do write anything considered smutty, I try to focus on the emotions and sensations rather than the act itself. I love to read fic where the emotional intimacy is front and centre, but won't turn my nose up at reading some really raunchy debauched sex. As someone who's questioned her sexuality multiple times since first coming out I've lived under multiple labels before finding the one that suited me. Grey ace, ace bi-romantic, demisexual bi-romantic, I've thought all of them fit me at one time or another. It wasn't until last year that I realised dating wasn't working for me, it never would work for me, and that was ok. Aro/Ace isn't a zero sex/zero emotions identity, it's a spectrum in itself, and I've finally found something that suits me. Back on the topic of smut I write, I haven't written anything smutty for Trails yet beyond some heated kisses and heavy breathing. Maybe some rolling of hips. But I will be taking that M rating to its limit, don't you worry! As for ASR, again, nothing majorly smutty has been written, at least not what I would consider majorly smutty. Just a lot of emotional pining, and a bit of foreplay that starts to lead somewhere, and then DRAMA.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Back when I was first getting into creative writing (we're talking pre-teen/very early teens Jess, before ASR was even a vague concept), I wrote fanfic without even realising that's what I was doing. It was just a self insert series of stories that crossed over with multiple franchises, as well as straight up stealing plot points and tropes from other franchises. Will I tell you what they were? Absolutely not! And they will never see the light of day, because they are absolutely God-awful!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and I hope that never happens.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd love it if someone ever wanted to. For ASR especially it would be incredible to see it translated and reach more people around the world. Seeing published authors announcing translation deals is something I aspire to!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically, but I suppose you could call Trails and Art-Collab fic, because Ashton's art is fucking fantastic!! Whenever I get to posting day and I wake up to see an art DM from her I get so excited! The style she's gone with for this fic was something we talked about for a while and she's just excellent at capturing the images and emotions I hope my writing is portraying. Ashton is a gem, and I am beyond lucky and don't know what I did to deserve her as a friend!!!

14. What's your favourite all time ship?

SnowBaz have been an obsession since mid-2021, and they show no signs of relinquishing the top spot in my heart when it comes to fandom ships. But it'd be remiss of me not to mention my OC's here. Lauren and Mike are my chaotic, dramatic, hopelessly and cluelessly in love MC's for ASR. You know how Baz pines in CO ... yeah, we're talking similar levels, if not slightly above that for Lauren and Mike. One of my favourite messages from my alpha reader was 'How in the hell did these idiots ever think their feelings were platonic?', and honestly, I don't even know. AND I WROTE THEM!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm working on an epic high fantasy saga with a friend that we describe as 'Japanese mythology meets J R R Tolkein'. It's so fun writing with someone else, as we both have different strengths. Nori is very much at home with the darker elements, the world building, and character development, whilst I love writing the character relationships, romances, and political manoeuvrings. It's just difficult when you're in different parts of the country, and both have other WIPs you're working on. Maybe one day this saga will see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I used to think this was a weakness, but since working on ASR edits I think I've become better attriting action sequences. At least, the comments on Trails have led me to believe this. I hope. Since writing that opening chase scene through Southwark it's really bolstered my confidence. But I think my main strength is dialogue full of banter and flirting. Give me a chance to have two characters in a room just bouncing off each other. No need for dialogue tags, just back and forth dialogue. Flirty dialogue is some of my favourite to write, and both SnowBaz and Lauren and Mike allow me to do this in spades! I also think writing pining is a strength, but that is a double edged sword that can cut the wielder if not used sparingly. Pining is great, when not overdone, and I'm praying I've not overdone it with Trails.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action and intimate sequences are still aspects of writing I struggle with, and I'll tell you why. Pacing. Pacing is my nemesis. I just want to get from point A to point B and move on to the next scene. I know first drafts don't have to be perfect, but yeah ... pacing in certain scenes within first drafts is my biggest struggle.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I had to work out how I was going to tackle this for Trails with the most recent chapters I've been writing. HOW DO YOU WRITE A LANGUAGE THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST, AND IN YOUR FIC HAS BEEN DEAD FOR MILLENNIA? Atlantean has been a pain to try and work out, and I'm still figuring out a way to write the language itself in dialogue. I really want to try and get some actual Ancient Greek in here as well at some point, so if anyone wants to help translate some riddles and prophecies for me, hit me up! I'm a bad Classicist and never learnt any ancient languages!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published: Carry On The secret ones I'll never show anyone: that knowledge goes with me to my grave.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Trails is my only published fanfic, therefore it is my favourite. But also I love the source material (both 'Carry On' and 'The Road to El Dorado) so much. But my favourite fiction I've written, out of all the original ideas and bad fanfic, has to be 'A Survivor's Revenge'. These characters and their story have been on my mind for the last fourteen years in some form or another, they are my babies, and I don't know what my life would look like without them in it. Lauren is my favourite morally grey chaos gremlin, and I'm so glad other people like reading about her whenever I share snippets.

Ok, so tagging. I have no idea who has and hasn't done this already, so I'm sorry in advance if you don't want to do this/already have done. Just think of it as me saying hi and how much I love the work you all do!

@aristocratic-otter @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cosmicalart @fatalfangirl @larkral @palimpsessed @phoxphyre

[bambinotattoo]

New story time!!!

Also, I’ve had a few wonderful messages from other incontinent people, ABDL’s, and supporters alike…Thankyou so so so much. And yes, I promise, that if I keep getting the positive feedback I will re arrange (and properly edit, lol) this, and my previous stuff into a long more complete version of my diaper misadventures for you all to enjoy and in most cases are jealous of me because of. Lol. (And I still proclaim, I didn’t want ANY of it…I was setting myself and it was horrifying.

But I digress, this is about when I had to get sent to the ER when I was about 13, Almost 14 and I wasn’t around my parents. I was visiting my Aunt Peggy and Uncle Jerry in Florida…when this REALLY happened. Enjoy

By now, it was October in the year I was 13. Still very much in diapers, and more and more babied. I had been in diapers full time for maybe 1.5 years at this point, dealing with the situation better but still embarrassed every time new people or strangers find out or saw because of the way I was made to dress. Everyone in the same grade as me were interested in style and picking out their own clothes…while my (now MOMMY, was required at this stage to refer to her as mommy or risk some humiliating punishment to further my regression at the time. Things like, made to play outside, in the front yard, middle of the day in nothing but a diaper and VERY small tshirt (it started with onsie and diaper, but that covered far too much lol), or while eating dinner at a restaurant only aloud to drink from a sippee cup and keep my paci in unless eating or drinking. Of course dressed in my usual overalls or brightly colored striped clothes, one of my moms favorites was with like train conductor like pair of pant overalls that was barely big enough for me…let’s Just say in a diaper with a booster, I was obviously diapered. And without fail, the server, hostess, etc would try and be nice thinking I must be challenged…would ask her what I would want and would love to brag (to anyone who would listen really) that there’s nothing seriously wrong, he just loves being the baby…or he must because he can’t stop wetting his pants.

And there I would sit, beat red, and filling my diaper more and more because of the trauma that embarrassment caused. Occasionally at this point I would try and play along, better to laugh at the joke and join in…then be the paddy pants with a pacifier being sucked to death out of horror. It was around this time I was starting to accept my fate. Figured it was what it was, and damnit I might as well try and learn to enjoy it.

My relatives lived about 6-7hours away and instead of driving me down myself, my parents decided to put me on a buss. They figured thick diaper (and I was wearing Bambino’s exclusively now and the even thicker versions were out. That with a booster, I would be good to go. The fun starts there.

The morning I was leaving was normal, woke up soaked to my mom sliding a bottle of milk to my face. And being guided to the changing table from the new race car bed I was now sleeping in. One of my Babysiters was joking with my mom one afternoon that a baby like me shouldn’t be sleeping in a bed. While I feared a crib was in my future, they didn’t make adult ones quite yet ( or atleast not readily available). But Ashley, suggested asking her mom for her youngest brothers race car bed he was about to have upgraded. Yay me.

Diaper changed, two boosters, and enough baby powder that every time I moved it looked like I as a coke mule. The idea was, since I would be traveling alone, and they didn’t feel comfortable trying trying to talk someone from the charter to change the diaper of a 13 yo. It had been agreed that I would be put in my school overalls that were at least my size and made me look less like a toddler. For that I was thankful

I get dropped off at the station, checked in, and was on my way. My carry on stuffed with a few diapers in case, and things to occupy me. I had never really traveled alone, especially since all the diaper and baby stuff happened..so I was rather nervous. I also didn’t do that well in cars sometimes anyway. Maybe 45 mins into the trip we hit some weather and things got pretty scary. Midwest storm, tornado season, etc. I was already frightened of weather and extra scared of the bus. Generally I would pop my paci in and be able to calm myself down…but without my mommy telling or making me I was trying to be a big boy. I started having a panic attack, and hyperventilating. This started scaring the other passengers, so much so that it was decided that the bus would stop at a hospital as a precaution.

I knew, as things were happening that trying to explain to the nurses and staff that I was put back into diapers by my mother because I couldn’t stay dry would be awkward…esp since every time it was ever explained, I never did the talking.

Upon entering the ER I was still shaky and pale, visibly shaken. And not to mention, at this point was very wet from the milk that morning and sodas on the bus. I get escorted to an exam room, and a nurse began to try and help me get settled and changed into a gown. In my current state, I forgot about the sagging diaper that looked like some fetish thing (and that was MUCH worse then as ABDL diapers were still pretty new). As my overalls came down the smell of musky urine alerted to me that I needed to try and stop her from helping me with my overalls. I failed, and at the exact moment I am standing there in NOTHING but a very wet diaper 2 more nurses and a doctor walked in and we all just stared at each other. I immediately start welling up, and whimpering. To frozen to talk, just turn a new brighter shade of red each passing moment.

The initial nurse, shewed the others away and quickly went back to nurse mode and began trying to console me. After a couple minutes, I was calm enough to at least let her know that I was indeed very wet. To which she said, okay, well, can you change yourself or…to which I began to get upset again. I tried to explain that I wear because of a medical thing, but I’m sure it came out more like “my mommy makes me wear them”. Lmfao. And the nurse puzzled, was like okay, and your “mommy” still changes you? I nod yes and ask for my bag so I could show her my diapers and get my paci. To her credit, without skipping a beat, she laid me back and began to change me. She could tell I was changed often because I would lift and adjust on command to make the process easier. I asked for baby powder, to which I got an even weirder look.

After the change, I calmed down enough to explain to the social services person, that I started wetting my pants, and wet the bed and was put back into diapers a while back. Now, here was the weird part. Everyone there talking to me were trying to bait me into admitting some type of child abuse…but something told me what they were trying to do. And for the first time out loud and maybe in my head I started saying things like:

“My Mommy didn’t know what to do. I was wetting my pants at school, at home, basically there was no choice.” And when the pacifier and baby powder was brought up this is where everything changed that day

“Well when I first started having to be diapered I was mad, and didn’t understand. I would cry and be sad. One morning after waking up wet, and about to change myself I went to Mommy and asked her if she would do it, to which she said of course. Since then I started asking for toddler clothes, pacifiers, and etc”

Now you guys know that’s BS, but I didn’t want my parents in trouble because of me tattling, and besides, I my head I was the big baby who wet his pants. It was about that time exactly when my Mommy did arrive, not sure what she might be walking into. And I had to sit there, pacifier in my mouth and listen to the nurse play back what I said and have her confirm or deny.

I could see my mommies fright and tension turn into something I hadn’t seen through all of this yet, genuinely love. The love you have for a baby or small child. Not the “I have to love this thing I made” most parents of teenagers have.

Crisis was averted and for one sweet cherry on top, my Mom dressed me in a onsie and that’s how I was walked out of the hospital, diaper blaring, paci in, and a warm calm feeling of contentment. For the first time since all of this started i didn’t care who saw me, looked at me, nothing. Just wanted to be babied and make the most of things.

[personasintro]

Hey Mimi! I hope you're doing good?❤️ This isn't really an ask. I wanted to tell you some things I've been meaning to say for a long time now... I'm sorry it's going to be long🥲

I've read all of your stories so far and I've gotta say, I never met an author who interested me this much in all of their stories!

I've always been passionate abt writing. But I've been of the opinion that I don't want to give my best works to the readers for free.. bcz I've worked so hard on it.

But then i read your stories. And I'm baffled how immersive and intriguing your stories are. I don't know anything about you and your methods, but I always feel like you're giving out your best to the readers. And for free. It made me feel a little different, to be honest. I'm surprised that some readers are still rude because you don't write frequently or aren't focusing on just one story just because they want to see it finished. But i guess, it's a fact that one can't please everyone.

But back to my point, I've understood that I don't really want to put a price on my passion. I just want to be acknowledged...😅 I don't know if I'm coming across as needy or something, but I'm guessing you'd understand what i mean. I guess what i meant to say is that i want readers' feedbacks and constructive criticism about my story. That's all. I'd like to call it a development—in my eyes atleast. I used to be pretty selfish with publishing my stories for free, as i told you earlier😂

I'm sorry it's a long post, you don't have to reply really...I just want you to know that you've played a big part in my my mental transformation this year, Mimi. You're probably thinking I'm making a big deal out of this, but i sincerely want to thank you.

Thank you so much <3.❤️❤️ I'm beginning to see things in a new light and it has definitely made the start of my writing journey a beautiful and fulfilling one.

I hope i don't sound like I'm advertising myself or anything 😭 i even put myself as anonymous for that sake andndjdkfkf

Hey, I’m good, I hope you’re doing well as well 🌸

Thank you for noticing it, I definitely try doing my best and not even once I imagined writing a few stories would get me this far. I never thought I’d end up writing again, let alone doing it for years now. I’m nowhere near perfect but I am trying my best. I’m incredibly thankful to everyone who reads and supports my work. I’m sure I wouldn’t get this far without all the love and support, it’s cliché but definitely true. Sharing my work is the greatest joy in this blog!

I wish you all the luck with your stories. I’m pretty sure the nice feedback and love will be worth it! 🥰 I appreciate your kind words, I’m glad I could help in any way. Thank you!! 🫶💌

Again, good luck and let me know how it goes. I hope I’ll hear from you soon! 🌸

[m0llygunn]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 10000 likes!

SO COOL these tumblr milestones look so fucking corny but I’m already feeling sentimental tonight

seriously though— thank you. I’ve spent the entirety of my life believing to my core that what I have to say doesn’t matter, so having people who are willing to spend their limited time listening to me— even just through reading my stupid little stories, it’s mind boggling, and has given me much to think about over the last few weeks.

I won’t write everything I’m thinking— that would be too long winded (and probably make me seem big headed because this isn’t an award, and this shouldn’t illicite this big of a reaction from me), but I just want to say how powerful readers are, and the people who take the time to leave likes, and comments, and reblogs. You have no idea just how important you are. You just are, and I appreciate you.

Especially with my last story posted, I have never received that much feedback in my life— in anything I’ve done, ever. And it’s shifted my perspectives in a way. It sounds entirely dramatic for this to be some life altering moment, but as sad as it may be, for me— it kind of is.

This is where it gets personal and sappy, but I never realized exactly how low my confidence is until I started getting feedback. My initial reaction was to deny it. To assume the worst, and the worst is that people are lying to me. They’re offering pity-filled comments to pacify me while they’re all in on some big joke. This reaction wasn’t born overnight, it has been tended to and carefully cultivated through years as a form of self preservation, but a moment like this— where there kind of is just too much positive feedback to keep thinking like that, it finds cracks in the weak foundations of self doubt. Positivity weasels in and it becomes scary because it’s making me rethink everything.

You have no idea how many times I’ve reread ‘Eddie’s Notes’ in attempts to see what you’re seeing. It’s perplexing and to just accept it— that maybe I can do a good thing, has been the hardest pill to swallow, and I don’t really see any other writers talking about that journey.

And yeah, that’s just where I’m at. I don’t have a resolution yet. You all are far too nice to me and it makes me nervous.

Also it’s so funny to me that this is basically all about some low-brow porn that I’ve written.

Anyways, I am humbly thanking all of you for your time and support. Thank you.

[cainightfics]

wow, you have an interesting perspective on the future of humanity. it's somewhat uplifting and relieving. all problems seem insignificant. i had similar thoughts about the future of my country. but i never thought about global destruction. thanks for sharing this information, i want to look deeper and maybe recognize some imminent signs of global doom lol

haha "interesting" is one word for it i guess. dont even get me started or ill go on forever but yeah im 100% a collapsenik doomer. if you want some overviews of the basics of this stuff you could check out the podcast "breaking down: collapse" or "it could happen here." unfortunately a lot of the discussion surrounding these issues is america-centric, and ignores a lot of very big global issues that are clear harbingers of collapse. the famine in yemen, for example, or last years hunga tonga–hunga haʻapai volcano eruption, which was more powerful than any nuclear bomb and released enough vapour into the atmosphere to speed up global warming exponentially. like i say, its not just one issue. its thousands of issues, happening everywhere all the time, creating feedback loops which exponentially spiral out of control. We Are Fucked lol.

to put things into perspective, even if all of global production stopped right now and we found a way to hit climate goals of 2C warming (which we won't, and depending on how far back you measure the baseline, we've already gone past 2C warming since the pre-industrial era), the feedback loops of climate change will nonetheless create such high concentrations of methane and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere that by 2100 every human on earth will experience such low oxygen levels that they will all be mentally disabled.

there is nothing that can stop the upcoming shitstorm. theres too many problems, and even if we all worked together to solve one, the others will kill us anyway. i'd say once oil production begins to halt (which is estimated to be around 2040) collapse will really hit us full-force. we NEED petrochemical fertilizers to grow enough food to support our current population, it's nonnegotiable. our civilization is dependent on oil down to our most basic of needs. once the oil is gone, there will be unprecedented amounts of death. and there is no replacement for oil. it took millions of years of dinosaur remains decaying in the earth to create it. even if human civilization survives, in small pockets somewhere, the current world as we know it will be dead forever. we will never get it back, for better or for worse.

i think the current state of society is denial, cluelessness, and panic. everyone knows its bad, but very few know how bad it really is. just the thought of the impending doom in our collective future is enough to drive loads of people to suicide, addiction, or mindless consumption as a self-soothing mechanism. the fact is, its over. we have a few decades left before everything before us is just a glittering memory of our self-indulgent past. on the one hand, it will mark the end of capitalism, and thus the end of the cycle of exploitation and consumption that has caused so much human suffering. on the other hand, the suffering of the future will perhaps be even greater.

anyways ill stop myself before i go rambling on (remember earlier when i said i can rant about this forever?). i’d be happy to chat about it more with anyone whos interested, but its not exactly light nice stuff to have show up on your dash on a sunday, so im sorry to anyone who read this and is now freaked out. but all of this is just the beginning of why i am an alcoholic lol

[chelleztjs18]

This is not a question but i just saw the previous ask with that one rude anon and just felt like I had to do something about it because there is 2 things I genuinely despise in this world ,the first one being rude , inconsiderate and dishonest people and yes I’m talking about you Anon if you by any chance see this and the second being unfair accusations or situations now I will explain myself with diplomacy and actual facts to prove my point , you should take some exemple anon ,on how to bring a situation that bothers you to someone ,while still being polite and respectful.

You accuse chelle of being neglectful and no having enough time for her followers right ? I’m gonna reveal something to you , not everybody spend their entire day on the internet , mind blowing right ? It’s funny because if you would have looked further and was really interested not only about the author work but the author herself as well you would have known she has a little girl of a young age to take care of , hence why she can’t spend a whole day on the internet like a person with “no responsibility” such as a child could.

To continue , I would like for you to explain to me how is she being neglectful when she answers to asks literally everyday , I kid you not when I’m telling she is by far the author that interact the most with her community on here and I follow more than 50 authors/writers , she do asks , little games with emojis that allow us to ask her stuff and know more about her when she is not obliged at all and could stay completely private like some author i know do, she listens to everyone and I could continue like that all day long but still you couldn’t notice it since you were to focused on making false accusation and attacking her.

You keep on insisting about her taking to much time to answer to ask and more , do you have any idea of the amount of authors/writers that don’t even respond to comments or anything on here or even wattpad and don’t interact with their community at all ? And those who post maybe 3 times a month ? Im NOT saying everybody as to be quick at all or post everyday I’m nobody to exige anything to anyone but I’m juste showing you some reality chelle post maybe 1 or twice a week at least ,please be for real .And i will go further on this by saying so many authors give us amazing stories /fics etc ,to have little to no feedback in exchange or shitty ones and critics , when they put so much work on their posts , they are people to with feelings and lives.

To finish you said you weren’t attacking her right ? I kindly I vite you to reread you previous ask because you were clearly hostile even tho you claimed than you weren’t and word choices weren’t the nicest nor the smartest.

Learn to be better , to be nicer more respectful and have consideration for others you don’t know what’s going on on somebody’s life so don’t assume nor demand anything when you don’t have all the pieces of a story in you hands it’s just rude and unfair.

Have a nice evening and I truly hope my “ask” will make you think about the way you treat people because being behind the screen doesn’t allow everything nor excuse every behavior.

Hello Kay!

Wow, i'm speechless. This is amazing. I cant thank u enough for taking some of ur time to write this n to show ur support on my side. I almost cried reading this.

All the sweet amazing supporting things u write here really got me. I know we dont talk that much but i appreicate u a.lot for every reactions u gave me on my fic updates, ask games or just any ask / message u sent me. This means a lot to me.

I hope we can be friends 😊 u r very sweet and awesome! Im grateful for u and other friends i met here.

Cheerio!

[naveymoon]

𖤐 With You Part Four (Austin!Elvis x Reader)   

Austin!Elvis x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3172

Summary: Following your discharge from the hospital and into the arms of Elvis, the two of you are more than ready to resume your lives together.

Note(s): This gif. That's all. I think it fits pretty nicely with this chapter's tone's, but you didn't hear that from me ;) First of all, thank you so much for all of your continued support and compliments, I am forever grateful. Secondly, over 200 followers!! That means more to me than you will ever know that so many people like reading my work! Thank you so much. Enjoy this chapter, I'm so sorry it's been a while, but my mental health has taken a big toll on me and my writing and so I also apologise if this chapter is not up to standard! As always, all feedback is appreciated, but please be nice! Thank you, El ᵕ̈

Taglist: @captured-memory@flwersgarden@chaoticbilly@callthedarknessdown@xcallmetaniax@jazmin2211@thatcrazyfangirl22 @swatson06 @heavenlylake @imagineslut01 @k1sses4you @impossibleapricotlampbat @austinbutler17 @poppet05 @xhannahbananax03 @lindsaylop81 <3333

*.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Four days of resting your exhausted body later, the nurses finally tell you that you may leave the hospital. You and Olivia were the only ones who had heard the news, and you had instantly begged your older sister to phone Elvis and inform him right away. The notion that the paparazzi and the media would ultimately find out about his location didn't cross your mind in your euphoric haze, but with the masses already assembled outside of the hospital's grounds only an hour after the phone call, you realise you should've been a lot more modest with your glee.

Olivia sighs as she stands next to you, staring out the window, before turning to Elvis, who had been speaking quietly with his father. She clears her throat to catch his attention, "Is this how it always is for you? All these people crowdin' round, watchin' your every move?"

Nobody could dispute that she had been trying to get along with Elvis. She was initially opposed to the two of you getting back together, arguing that he'd hurt you once and would do it again. Fortunately, she reluctantly dropped it soon following your insistence that he was different this time, that he was better. She still wasn't sure about him yet, but she was trying for your sake, unlike your father.

Your father hadn't seen you in three days, clearly taking the news of your rekindled relationship far more personally than Olivia had. He caught the two of you red-handed as soon as he returned to the room after his twenty-minute breather, and if you thought he was upset before, he was even more so after. He'd raged at Elvis for ten whole minutes before throwing you a dissatisfied look and left without saying goodbye. Olivia informed you that he was aggressively drinking away his frustrations at home and that you should simply let him deal with it as he saw appropriate. She told you that he would soon come to his senses, so just to leave him be 'till then.

Elvis approaches you both, inspecting the crowd out the window before turning to face Olivia and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "S'pose, but don't worry, Daddy and I were just talkin' 'bout getting you both out the back way so you don't get swamped by media people."

"Y'ain't comin' out with us?" you twist beneath his arm, peering up at him with surprise.

"The Colonel says it's best to make a statement now so they ain't hasslin' us at Graceland," Elvis explains as he leans forward to kiss your temple. "'s okay, I won't be long, Daddy'll bring the car back 'round and I'll be right with you, doll."

"What do y'have to make a statement about?" Olivia frowns.

"About the accident," Vernon interjects, capturing everyone's attention. "Elvis will just be explaining what happened and giving an update on Y/N's condition, it's really no big deal."

"Are you gonna tell them we had a fight?" you ask, looking up at Elvis.

"No, it's not…" He struggles to find the correct words, clearly conflicted in his mind. "It's not as deep as that, doll. Just gonna say that you were a little tipsy and went one step too far into the road, but that you're doing much better now, that type of stuff."

Olivia scoffs, "So you're just gonna humiliate her? After everything, you ain't gonna give her one ounce of human decency and tell your role in it rather than just playin' the knight in shinin' armour?"

"Liv-"

She ignores you, "It's bullshit. You said you were gonna let the world know about your relationship, but now she's just some drunk girl who got hit by a car in front of you? You know what, Elvis, grow a pair!"

"Olivia!"

Despite understanding her perspective, you feel obligated to just accept the humiliation that the press may bring. Being with Elvis will not be simple in terms of the challenges that the media will throw at you, so it's best not to allow it to get to you so soon, or so you think. You hope, though, that Elvis will at least disclose that the two of you are dating and that the Colonel hasn't talked him out of that as well.

"No, no, she's right." Elvis glances toward Vernon, an uneasy expression on his face. "I can't go out there sayin' all that stuff, letting others speculate about and humiliate her, Daddy."

"Son, the Colonel has experience with all of this, he knows what's best," Vernon sighs.

"Elvis," you say, resting your hand on his shoulder. "Don't let anyone force you to do anything; if you have to do it, I understand, honey."

Elvis' burden didn't seem as heavy on his shoulders this time since you were there to help leverage the weight with your patience and kind words. He regrets nearly allowing the Colonel to push him into making another mistake on your behalf, knowing how easily it could have gone wrong for you both again, and feels a lot braver knowing he'd be standing up to the Colonel with you by his side now. For once, he didn't care about the repercussions as long as he still had you, happy and safe right next to him.

"No, I swore to ya I'd never make the same mistakes with you twice, sweetheart." Elvis lays both hands on your cheeks and leans in for a brief and loving kiss. "The Colonel's a smart man, but he ain't dictating my relationships no more. I want you to make the statement with me."

"What?!"

You, Olivia, and Vernon all appear to exclaim in unison, each of you thinking his proposal is insane, but a part of you is utterly head over heels for this rebellious side of him, the one who would do anything for you. It was the Elvis you'd always wanted to see, but your rational side understands that this would be disastrous for him in the long term.

"Elvis, honey, I appreciate you saying that but…"

"But what? I thought you wanted us to be out in the world, baby. It'll be just like what we said, there'll be no more hiding." He sighs as he stares out the window, the crowd and his excitement growing along with it. "We can finally be happy together, ain't nothing stopping us after this."

You sigh, "Elvis, of course I want that, but there's a reason you never told them before. The Colonel wants you to be available, and bringing me into the limelight is just gonna bring everythin' from our past back up and the media'll be hasslin' both of us even more…don't you just wanna move on?"

"I don't give a damn 'bout any of that!" He steps away from you, frustrated, trying to cool off for a bit. "They ain't gonna hold us hostage in our own damn relationship! They can say whatever they damn please, dig us up however they choose, hell I'll even pass 'em the shovel! We ain't bad people, we ain't done nothing wrong to them. I ain't hiding you away for no one's benefit no more, Y/N."

As you approach him, his back is turned to you, his head down in shame for being so fired up. "Okay, baby, okay," you say as you put your arms around his waist and lay your head against his heaving back.

Vernon sits in the corner, a thunderous expression on his face as he considers the consequences of his son's decision, but even he can't bring himself to be upset with his son's choice. "I support you if that's what you want to do, son."

"Hm, so he does have the balls," Olivia comments, raising her brows in surprise.

☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Elvis carrying you through the Graceland threshold later that day feels heavenly, the two of you full of joy and exhilaration after finally revealing your truth to the world. It had been overwhelming, with cameras flashing in all directions and microphones jerking at you every few seconds, but it had also been perfect; Elvis had said all the right things, speaking about you in a way that made you swoon, aching to be alone with him so you could kiss him, but he kissed you there anyway, unafraid of being true to himself and your relationship.

It truly felt like being on cloud nine, the only exception being that while you're on cloud nine, you know you have to descend at some point to return to earth.

The Colonel's face is enough to go by as he storms into the hallway of the home, followed closely by Gladys who is carrying a half empty bottle of wine in her shaking hands. He looks you both over, grimacing at your smiling faces, "What happened to the original plan, my boy? The one we spent hours on perfecting?"

"Listen, Colonel, I-"

"No! You deliberately went against me, boy," he interrupts, looking to Vernon who is trailing behind you and Elvis with obvious fear of what is to come. "And you, Vernon, you let him go out there and make a fool out of himself with her."

Elvis places you down, stepping forward, "Her? She's got a name, Colonel."

"Not for much longer, boy," The Colonel looks at you with a sneer. He wags a condemning finger at you. "No, that's no longer a girl with her own name, her own life. She's forever imprinted as your girlfriend, and do you know what that makes you? Unavailable. Do you have any clue how big of an impact this- she will have on our business from now? Forget about the merchandise and the sales; it'll all be gone. Your daddy will no longer have a job! This is what we fought so hard to avoid, boy, and you've destroyed it all!"

You feel terrible as you stand behind him, guilt devouring you from the inside out. His future could have been protected if you had simply been a bit more persistent and realistic with him. You can't help but feel like this is all your fault, despite the elation that accompanied the two of you finally being honest. Perhaps it was safer to keep good things hidden, no matter how much it hurt.

"Y'should've just waited, baby." Gladys says as she prepares to leave the room, her words garbled by the quantity of booze she has consumed while watching the news coverage of her son on TV. "You're getting too involved with the press recently, always dragging yourself into trouble. You shoulda waited for this all to blow over before decidin' to play happy damn families."

Elvis swallows, ignoring his intoxicated mother's ramblings, and looks up at the Colonel, "You were the one who told me to make a statement."

"Yes, I did," The Colonel scoffs, a little stiffly approaching the two of you, "but never did I say a love proposal."

Elvis' body stiffens as the Colonel passes by you, but he does not turn to look at him. "So, that's it? You're just leavin'? You're s'posed to be helping me, helping us, to salvage the business."

"My boy, I can't help you," The Colonel grumbles as he walks out the door. "You can't even help yourself," he remarks as he turns to glance back in your direction.

With that, he strolls off the porch of Graceland, and the house falls silent, Elvis hardening his posture in front of you. Vernon bounces on his feet as he shifts his gaze from the Colonel to his son, evidently agitated. "I..I'll go talk to him. We'll fix this, son, don't worry."

He pursues the Colonel, and you follow them both with your gaze, feeling entirely helpless and to blame. All you wanted was to be free of hiding from the world, and you know Elvis did too, but he may have changed his mind now. You clench your fists together at your sides, sweat building up from your anxiety. You look up at Elvis, who is turning to face you, and you're worried he's going to tell you what a huge mistake he's made and how much he regrets the whole thing.

"I'm so sorry, Elvis." Your words are rushed and emotional, tears welling up in your eyes as his blues meet yours. "I never wanted any o' this."

Elvis sighs, touching your face, and says, "I know, mama. It's not your fault, no need to apologise. C'mere."

He embraces you in his arms, his chin resting on top of your head, savouring your aroma. With one hand running down your back, he supports the back of your head with the other, humming gently to calm the two of you down. You immediately recognise the tune, 'That's All Right, Mama.'

"Ain't no one gonna tell me I can't show y'off." Elvis mumbles into your hair, his eyes closed in the comfort of the hug. "Colonel can be mad at me for as long as he wants, I don't care. All I care 'bout is you and my family, and singing the songs I love to the people I love. No one's gonna take that away from me."

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you hug him hard, frightened he'll slip out of your grasp again. He plants a long, chaste kiss on your hairline, slightly smiling as your hair tickles his chin, before pulling away, leaving you feeling empty from the absence of contact.

"C'mon, let's get something to eat and then we can work everything out, 'right?" Elvis extends his hand, and you grab it eagerly, causing him to chuckle lightly. "Don't worry, doll, I ain't going nowhere."

*.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You hadn't expected the two of you consummating your relationship to be first on the list of figuring things out, but you're not complaining as you lay under him, both of your breaths erratic as you come down from your highs.

"My God, baby," he chuckles, planting wet, breathy kisses across your lips. "That was somethin' else."

"I know, I…I haven't…since…" you laugh breathlessly beneath him.

He glances at your expression, surprised, removing stray strands of damp hair from your eyes, "Really? You ain't been with no-one else?"

"No." You mutter, your cheeks flushed with humiliation. "Is that bad?"

"Course not, baby," Elvis says as he plants another kiss on your lips.

He gradually moves off the top of you, and you draw the blanket over your nude body. He glances back at you and smirks, "Nothin' I ain't seen already, darlin', no need to hide. I like looking at 'cha, anyway."

"It's not 'bout that," you scoff, leaning up against the pillow and dragging the blanket with you, wrapping it around you like a scarf over your entire body. "What if your mama were to walk in here? Or how about the Colonel?"

"Don't go puttin' that image in my head," he whines.

"Sorry," you giggle as he begins to make his way to the bathroom, his naked body on display. "Elvis?"

He comes to a complete stop as he takes his robe from the door, rotates, and offers you his full attention. "Yeah, baby?"

"Thank you for..for doin' what you did for me," you whisper, squirming awkwardly in the face of his gaze. As you continue, he leans against the door frame, lowering his head with a smile, "I know it may have caused some problems with you and your daddy and the Colonel but it meant the world to me that you were willing to do that. Made me feel real special, so, thank you."

Elvis puts on the robe and adjusts the belt around his waist before returning to the bed, "You're the most special girl in the world to me." As he slides towards you on the bed, his confession sends chills up your spine,  "I'd do anythin' for ya, 'specially now I get to call ya mine again. Hell, I'd follow ya to the ends of the universe if ya asked me to. Just say the word, baby."

You press your lips against him, enabling him to push you back down onto the bed, where he can once again hover over you. You close your eyes, the emotion between you igniting a never-ending inferno of fierce passion. You interrupt the kiss to utter five little words that hold the weight of the world to you: "I love y'so much."

"I love you, baby," he says back, cradling your face with a wide smile.

You embrace him, nuzzling your face into his neck and squeezing him gently. He lays his head on your shoulder, and you marvel at the intimacy, which is so simple yet has been dearly missed.

When the door knocks, Elvis rushes to answer it, but not before adjusting his robe and drawing the blanket even tighter around you. "Daddy?" he says, half opening it and gazing out.

Vernon mumbles a few faint words that you can't understand.

"What, now?" Elvis answers, looking dissatisfied. "Yeah, I'll be down now, Daddy, jus' give me a minute," he says, returning his gaze to you and sighing.

You gradually sit up and wrap your arms around yourself, waiting for Elvis to shut the bedroom door.

"Daddy says Colonel's come back to talk," Elvis explains as he carefully approaches his chest of drawers, noticing your puzzled expression. He pulls out a pair of boxers and opens the next drawer to get some trousers, all the while talking. "He said he has some sort of plan for me. Better not be like that damn hound dog shit he pulled."

"I'm sorry, Elvis, I'm not followin'," you say after he mutters the final piece to himself.

"Don't worry 'bout it, baby." He mumbles as he dresses quickly before going to his closet for a shirt. "You just rest in here and I'll be back b'fore you know it, alright? Don't want ya to have to listen to the damn Colonel droning on 'bout shit he ain't got no idea 'bout."

"Okay," you carefully crawl to the edge of the bed, aware of your bare body as you take a seat, wrapping the blanket tightly over yourself. "You gonna be okay, honey?"

He returns his gaze to you as he finishes buttoning his colourful shirt and tucking it into his pants, "I'm gonna be more than okay, baby, got my girl back and that's all I ever wanted f'so long. I'mma take care of all this stuff with the Colonel, and we'll finally be able to restart our lives t'gether, clean slate. Hell, I'll even get you some daffodils. What'd you tell me they meant, 'gain? New beginnings?"

"Mm, that's right," you say to the man you love, your eyes welling up with tears.

"New beginnings with my girl." Elvis comes over, cupping your face once again and kissing you on the lips. "I'm gon' make this work for us, baby, I promise. Tell me ya trust me, doll."

"I do, I do trust you. More than anythin' else in this world, Elvis."

[burntwaffle12]

BEE AND SNAKE MIRACULOUS EMBROIDERY

Wake up babe, new patches are done!

For all Lukloe/lukzoe shippers, this is for you (my mom chose them btw)

I will be honest, THESE TOOK SO LONG, just for the fact that I got lazy, but I finished them!

The bee was the fastest patch I've done so far, finished it in two days! and then the snake came and oh boy, did I take my sweet time.

I think the design was just so tedious I was dreading making it, and I think it kinda shows where I lost some of my patience but I am really happy with the result! the eyes were by far the most difficult part, I re did them multiple times and had to do a lot of work to get them to look the way I wanted to, even though it's like really small and most people wouldn't pay attention to them (but my inner Marinette would not let me rest)

I will say, the bee patch really stands out because of the colors but I can't imagine making it without the black. Also the border is thicker than the rest (by accident) but I honestly love it, it gives it a fuzzy bee look so I think it's really fitting.

ALSO, this means the BIG FIVE ARE DONE!

Of course I am still missing the center piece (technically that is also done, you can check the first post, but I will re do it). I am really happy with how everything looks so far! and can't wait for the ladybug and black cat piece!

I also re-ironed everything properly (before I didn't put the iron directly on them because I was scared I was going to stain them like what happened with the first piece) but I made sure the iron was clean and I think it gives a way better finish.

LOOK AT MY BABIES!!

This project has been stressing, annoying, fun, relaxing and intense and I honestly LOVE IT! But what I love the most is YOUR input. Last post I got a lot of tags and likes and seeing how my work has been so loved by you has made it all worth it!

Thanks to everyone who made such nice comments in my last post (you know who you are ;)) and thanks to my friends who supported me and have seen my work build up from nothing (you also know who you are <3)

AS ALWAYS, any comments, ideas, feedback, ANYTHING is welcome!!

Thanks for being part of this <3

First // previous // next

[diabolik-boys]

500 FOLLOWERS!

Oh my goodness, babes. You all have made me so happy. Thank you so much for 500 FOLLOWERS!

I'm going to write an essay here, don't mind me--

THANK YOU! For each and every one of you who have decided to follow me throughout my journey so far on my blog, thank you so much.

It has been an absolute joy to get to meet so many new friends, share my silly headcanons, and host events within the Diabolik Lovers fandom on here.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.

I hope to continue making content that you all enjoy with my headcanons and scenarios, and host fun events for everyone to participate in. My blog has become a really nice hobby for me, and I am pleased to get to write so much for you all. Thank you for showing interest in my writing and for simply enjoying it.

And most of all, thank you for your time of simply looking at my posts and for the feedback you all have given me. It inspires me to continue writing and having fun, despite my depression getting in the way every now and then.

To my lovely friends:

@renamami REN MY BABY, I love you so much! You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I cannot thank you enough for all you do for me each and every day. I'm so happy I'll get to show you my growth on my blog, especially since you were the first person to ever say I should start it.

@ruki--mukami / @goldazu My lovely Jas, thank you so much for being here for me and for inspiring me to write just as lovely as you do. And most of all, for being my friend and for being someone who has always been willing to listen to me.

@mukami-kuron-mrsadisticcat Kuron, thank you for being such a lovely friend of mine and for your support for me throughout my blog so far. You have been such a light for me in a lot of dark moments, and just for you showing me how much you care about me through our conversations, I can't thank you enough. You inspire me.

@amistyshadow Misty, I'm glad we've become friends! Thank you very much for your kind words and for being here for me as a friend. I hope we become closer!

AND FOR ALL OF YOU! Thank you so much!

I am planning a new roleplay event for Halloween with special costume sprites for each of the Sakamaki and Mukami brothers. This will be a week-long event from October 24th to October 31st on Halloween. Stay tuned!

As always, much love. - Admin Azusa