#thank you to everyone who has been validating me with reblogs and meltdowns in the tags etc <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[borderlinereminders]

hi aa sorry i rambled in the tags of a post i reblogged from u bc your recent posts have all resonated hardcore and they always do in a reassuring or helpful advice kinda way, but since this made me think of a few questions u might have good advice for i wanted to send an ask too (dw abt answering quickly or at all tho, i am vibing and it also helps me to reach out in general even if its just expressing stuff if ur not sure how to respond aaa)

i wanted to ask if there are resources to learn DBT skills that dont involve group and individual therapy ? either resources to help someone go through the workbook on their own or if individual therapy is ever offered for that

and if you have advice for ways to find support as an autistic adult ? ive been curious if there are support groups anywhere, ideally online bc idk if thered be any near me, bc hearing about other peoples experiences has helped me a lot recently and things have been extra hard recently w all that for me, i think i am autistic burnout mode and meltdowns have gotten often and more horrible and i feel ive learned some how to manage that for myself but it's hard and hard to find advice or people who understand this experience

so i wanted to ask about any type of support that could offer advice or reassurance for experiences like meltdowns

thank u so much, this blog gives a lot of hope and support to me ♡♡♡ you are so amazing amd people sharing advice and experiences like you do makes me feel seen and understood and reassured and less alone and more validated bc it can be hard to struggle and not know how to help yourself, but even harder to feel like it's unreasonable to struggle and ive always felt like that pretty often so it helps to know other people can relate and that there is hope even if stuff wont look the same for everyone, and i think letting go of the expectation to be like everyone else helps a lot too

thank u for the validation and reassurance and good advice always ♡

Hi anon,

Some of my favourite worksheets are on therapistaid. I’m not sure what resources to suggest to aid getting through them, but I find these worksheets to clearly lay stuff out with examples which I always find helpful!

Here’s a link!

I’m sorry I don’t have advice for the rest. Maybe some followers have ideas about finding support as an autistic adult?

Also, thanks for the kind words!

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 27

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Angst, slight fluff

; Word Count: 4k

; Warnings: Not really an argument but close to it, depictions of anxiety and stress

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: This is one of the more angsty ones, not as bad as before, I swear! I hope you don’t think too harshly of the MC, she’s trying :( the next one is super fluffy...as it’s their anniversary! :D so fear not. As usual, please reblog if you enjoyed it so others can read it and leave me comments, feedback and asks! Thank you!

; Flower Masterpost

-

Straightening up from the bent-over position you’d been in for the last five minutes, you wince at the pain in your back and rub at it with a slight pout to your lips. You don’t remember if moving into your apartment had been this stressful or tiring, but then your place had been much smaller and you’d had less stuff. 

Even with the help of Jimin and Jungkook, it had taken Hoseok and you three days to get everything out of both your old apartments and into your new place. The two of you had started looking for somewhere soon after agreeing to the idea and it had been pure luck to find your new home.

The two-bedroom house that you were both renting was only half an hour away from your parents. It was bigger than you’d originally anticipated but small enough to make it perfect for a couple. There was a backyard that was currently a little overgrown but offered a surprising amount of space while the driveway had space for both your cars. 

The interiors needed a little rework initially but the landlord had promised to have everything repainted and fixed for you both, which they had thankfully. You also had permission to put up decorations on the walls and treat this place like your own home, as long as it all went back to looking neutral at the end.

There had been no reason for either of you to turn it down, especially as the rent was low and the utilities more than affordable. Okay, so you both would need to drive a little further to get to work every day. But both of you were making up for it with the reduction in what you would be paying now compared to before, so you’d eagerly signed the lease agreement as soon as possible.

Which was how you were now here, kneeling on the floor of your new living room as you let out a deep sigh of resignation. Even though you’d been the one to ask Hoseok to move in together, which had surprised pretty much everyone you both knew, it had unsurprisingly been you who’d ended up having issues about the whole thing.

The issues were nothing to do with him or even the idea of living with him. Instead, they were everything to do with the fact that you hated, and struggled to cope with, change of any kind. There probably wasn’t a bigger change out there than uprooting your entire life to a new house and then sharing that house with someone else, a person whom you were romantically involved with. 

Suddenly, any decisions you made regarding your home would need to include Hoseok in them. You wouldn’t be able to change things on the fly like you were used to, nor would you be able to be by yourself at home when you were feeling overwhelmed. It sounded silly when you thought about it logically, or said it out loud, but you’d found yourself struggling over it all.

You’d thought you were ready for it all. After all, you’d been the one to ask him the big question. Only you’d had more than a few meltdowns in the process of packing up your apartment. It made you cringe to think back on them, embarrassment and shame flooding you as you recall the way you’d handled it all.

If there was one thing you’d learnt over the years, it was that you didn’t handle things well in all honesty. Which was why you bottled it all up until it got too much. The results of those explosions got you even more upset, producing a never-ending cycle. Which was why you would often get set off by the smallest, most unimportant thing.

Only last week you’d slipped into, what could only politely be termed, a temper tantrum. A big, fat, adult tantrum. You’d been in the process of breaking down one of the bookcases in your old living room, unscrewing everything carefully after you’d packed away the contents.

The combination of tiredness from all the packing, the stress of moving and changing over debits, the strain of all the lifting, the fact you were doing all this after a full day of work and how your body ached from all the lifting and dismantling had accumulated after you’d accidentally dropped one of the wood sections onto your foot. Almost immediately you’d yelped out in pain before cursing loudly, frustrated tears seeping as you’d visibly trembled in rage at the stupid bookcase.

It had taken half an hour locked inside your bedroom until you’d finally calmed down enough to go back out and carry on. Thankfully, Hoseok hadn’t been there to witness that moment.

Your boyfriend was far more than you deserved as he hadn’t complained about your slowly souring mood. If you were being honest with yourself, he’d probably seen it coming. He had been the one to make completely sure that you were okay with the idea and had tried to make things go as slowly as possible so you didn’t freak out too much. But you were still struggling with it all.

Your antidepressants were working fine and you were thankful that you hadn’t fallen into a slump, but you just felt like you couldn’t think properly. Nothing was in its right place and everything was just...wrong at the moment. Then there was the fact that you were going to have Hoseok’s stuff here too and you’d both bickered about whether or not to set up the second bedroom as a spare bedroom or an office.

He was truly a saint, you were positive, because despite how grumpy you had slowly become he had taken it all on the chin with a patient smile. You, however, just wanted to go to sleep and for everything to be ready to use in the morning. 

It frustrated you to look around the house and see everything that still needed to be built and put away. If you stared too long then you often ended up feeling the heat build in your eyes, tears threatening as exhaustion buffeted you. But that wasn’t how it went, and so you had been unpacking box after box only to find it was more stuff that needed to go in the storage unit that Hoseok was going to build.

Or rather, should have built. He’d promised a few hours ago that he’d get it all set up for you so that you could at least get these boxes out of the way. This unit was going to store all the books, board games and Hoseok’s vinyl records. Instead, they were all still in the boxes and you were glaring at the box that held the storage unit. Still not made.

“Hoseok!” You yell, the tone of your voice a little harsher than you’d intended it. He wasn’t used to hearing you get angry or annoyed but he’d certainly gotten used to it in the last two weeks. Being the good person he was though, he hadn’t snapped back at you. Yet.

“Yeah?” Comes his muffled response and you hear the quiet, low voices of the other two men from the main bedroom. They’d been putting together the bedroom furniture all day while you’d unpacked the kitchen, carefully storing the fragile dishes and glasses before finding homes for the food that you’d run to the store for.

“I thought you said you were going to build this unit?” Even as the words come out of your mouth, you can tell that you’re being unreasonable. He’d spent all day sweating and swearing as he’d set up bedside cabinets, drawers and even the bed. The two of you had decided to invest in all new furniture given you both had rather dated furniture that didn’t match at all.

Unnecessary? Yes, but you’d just wanted to have a nice home that looked right. Yet again, more unreasonable demands from you and more expense. But he hadn’t complained about any of it, instead just going shopping with you and getting it all. Maybe he thought there was no point in complaining or something, but you had the furniture you’d wanted in the end.

And you weren’t being a mean person. You had offered to help them build it all but they’d waved it off with the eagerness of men wanting to be manly and build things. Plus, you were pretty convinced that Hoseok knew how frustrated you’d become just dismantling furniture and didn’t want to risk you getting even angrier if something went wrong while building. 

After repeated offers to help them being rebuffed, you’d finally just shrugged and settled yourself for putting away everything that you could. You liked doing that much better really as it gave you a sense of peace and satisfaction to see things in the places you wanted them and looking tidy.

Maybe that was why Hoseok had suggested you do that. He’d been amused the first time he’d seen your food pantry all in neat lines for ease of storage and access but had slowly learnt that you liked everything to have a place and always be in it. 

As it was, the kitchen was pretty much completed and so was the ensuite bathroom and the guest bathroom. The living room had Hoseok’s couch and your coffee table while there were a dining table and chairs towards the back. Perfect for both eating and gaming, of course.

But there was no storage in here because...well because Hoseok hadn’t built it!

“Sorry, I’ve been busy here. We’ve just got to finish up with these drawers-” Huffing, you scowl at the unopened box before looking over all the other boxes that haven’t even been touched as his excuses wash over you. The rational part of you knows that they’re valid excuses and you even want to tell him it’s fine, the living room can wait until tomorrow.

The dark cloud of annoyance, stress, anxiety and tiredness has settled fully over your mind though and you grit your teeth as tears form in your eyes. Why did you always have to cry when you were angry? It was pathetic.

“It’s fine. Whatever.” There’s a terse silence that follows your short words and you can practically hear Jimin and Jungkook cringing at the tension that’s suddenly ratcheted up. Pursing your lips, you wipe at your eyes furiously before closing the box back up and pushing at it harshly.

“I’ll build it now for you.” Hoseok’s voice is much closer and you look up, noting his carefully neutral expression on his tired face. Almost immediately you feel remorse for being short with him but the words get stuck in your throat. His hands are a little dirty from the dust of the furniture he’s been building and you note they’re also a little red, probably sore from using the screwdrivers and stuff. 

You go to look for some of your hand cream to rub into them for him before realising that you have no idea where it is and the negativity comes rushing back. The box that he’s carrying clinks quietly and you know it’s got all the tools he needs in it to build the unit.

“I said it’s fine. We can do it tomorrow.��� Looking away from him, you rub at your forehead from the headache you’ve got while rolling your shoulders, trying to stretch the aches and pains away. There’s a deep sigh from Hoseok that sounds incredibly controlled and you wince slightly, realising that he’s holding his temper back.

“It’s okay, it’s a quick build. It’ll take half an hour or something and then it’ll be done. Better to get it done now and then we get some of these boxes gone, right?” Closing your eyes, you bite your lip hard as you try to settle yourself. When you’re in one of these moods, you normally just take yourself off somewhere to be alone so you can’t be rude or mean. 

But there is nowhere to take yourself to here. Nowhere that’s ready, anyway.

Pressing your hands to your eyes, you feel the hysterical urge to just cry and scream. The knowledge that all your safe spaces have vanished for the moment and you have nowhere to go to be calm tipping you further. Even Kasumi is stuck just sleeping on the floor as her stuff is also packed away, waiting to be rebuilt.

You just want it all done so that you can settle back down and allow yourself time to get used to the new environment you live in. Let it all become familiar and warm once more, a home that you can retreat to and feel comfortable in. Right now, it resembles more of an IKEA and you hate it.

“Baby-” Hoseok starts and you shake your head furiously, wiping hard at your eyes before pushing the box of books as hard as you can in front of you. It’s a futile way to get out some of your anger and stress, but it feels good. Better than saying something that might hurt the one person who’s understood you more than anyone in years.

“Leave me alone. Please. Go build the bed or whatever. It’s fine. Tomorrow. I just, I need you to-” You’re not even sure what you’re saying anymore and you feel the anxiety of it all building up. Leaving your old apartment was so much harder than you’d expected and you’d struggled with the idea of knowing you no longer had anywhere to truly be alone. If you got mad at Hoseok in the future, he’d still be in the house somewhere.

You’d spent so many years making your place somewhere that was comfortable and familiar to you, a home that you enjoyed being in and now it was all gone. Now you have to relearn how to make this space comfortable and learn entirely new ways of how to cope with your moods and behaviour with another person.

The quiet sound of the door shutting clues you into the fact that Jimin and Jungkook have left. Unsurprising really, because you sure wouldn’t want to hang around to hear a domestic argument. Particularly given one of those involved is perhaps the quietest person they’ve ever known.

Standing, you pick up one of the boxes that are filled with your board games and move it to the other side of the living room, providing plenty of space to build furniture tomorrow. Going back, you don’t look at Hoseok and you’re not entirely sure why. Maybe you’ll explode on him or maybe you’ll burst into tears. Who knows?

You don’t, which is why you clench your jaw. 

There’s an awkward silence between you both as Hoseok doesn’t move, simply watches as you rearrange the boxes in the living room. It makes absolutely no difference now that they’re on the other side of the room but you feel a small sense of relief and peace when they’re all lined up neatly in one area, stacked on top of each other carefully.

The floor is visible once more and you frown at the sight of all the dust covering it. You should vacuum that, only you don’t think you have a vacuum anymore. That may have been one of the things Hoseok said to throw out as yours was ancient and he didn’t even have one. 

Scowling at it, you go to the kitchen to grab some cleaning spray and a cloth to at least get the coffee table looking nice. There was no reason for it as it was just going to get dirty again immediately from all the furniture dust but you just needed to make it look clean for now.

“I’m not gonna fight you, Y/N. Please tell me what’s wrong?” Hoseok says quietly, his voice carefully neutral and you pause at the kitchen cabinet, fingers on the door handle. “Please. I don’t want to argue with you when I know you’re not mad at me.”

He sounds so reasonable and calm that you don’t snap at him immediately, instead frowning down at the countertop and rubbing at a mark on it. For a few minutes, you don’t respond and he doesn’t push either. You’re not entirely sure what nation you saved in a previous life to get him, but it must have been a big one.

There’s plenty of other men who would have had a full-scale argument with you by now. The kind of argument that would have let you in tears while you struggled to breath from the anxiety of it all. But t Hoseok knew you. After almost a year together, he knew what upset you and made you angry. Most of all, he knew that you didn’t respond well to conflict. Which was he was just waiting for you to talk to him instead of shouting at you.

Maybe the knowledge that he wasn’t going to snipe at you or be mean was the final straw. All you know though, is that his soft and reassuring words seem to cause something inside of you to crack and all the stress that’s been building up inside your mind finally bursts free. 

Lips quivering, you frown hard as you wonder how you’re meant to get across what you’re feeling and thinking. You don’t even really know yourself, so trying to describe it to the one person who you want to understand the most is even harder. Made more so by the fear he might find your excuses pitiful.

“I don’t...it’s just,” Your throat closes tightly as thick tears slowly start to fall. “It’s a lot. Everything’s a lot right now and I just...I can’t handle it. I don’t know how to. I mean...I don’t feel comfortable here yet and it’s making me so anxious and unhappy. And then everything is in these fucking boxes and nothings built properly, we don’t even have the television set up and it’s just...I’m just struggling. I’m trying Hobi, I’m trying.”

You whisper the last words, wiping at your eyes and nose as you try your hardest not to completely break down. If there’s one thing you hate the most in the world, it’s probably crying. It makes you feel pathetic, and when you’re struggling with something as simple as moving places it makes you even more so.

“I just...nothing’s where I like it and I don’t know where everything is. It all feels foreign to me and even Kasumi doesn’t have her stuff! I don’t even know what I’m saying, it’s not even that bad but...but...I just want it all finished so I can start getting used to it! Start thinking of it all as a home and getting used to a routine here! And I’ve had to change all my routines around now because it takes longer to get to work so I have to get up earlier which means I have to go to bed earlier and find out the traffic and-” You’re interrupted by Hoseok wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you tightly.

For a few seconds, you do nothing until the warmth of his embrace causes you to turn around and link your arms around his waist too. Inhaling deeply, you take in his scent and start to cry once more as everything all comes to a head in your mind, all the ramblings thoughts and stressors and worries you’ve had flooding out as you ramble on to him.

Finally, though, you run out of things to tell him about why you’re so upset about seemingly nothing and instead just hold onto him silently. Your tears are soaking his shirt and you feel a little embarrassed at your minor meltdown but most of all, you just feel safe in his arms. Like no matter what you say or how silly it sounds, he won’t judge you.

In the chaos of your mind and surroundings right now, he was stable and familiar. Comforting.

“Why didn’t you argue with me? I could practically hear you restraining yourself. I was being so stupid and mean for no reason.” You whisper after a while, lips brushing against his shirt with every word. His chest shakes as he chuckles, a hand stroking along your back reassuringly.

“Oh, I almost did. Today was the closest I’ve ever come to snapping back at you. There’s every chance I might’ve done if you’d been someone else. But I know you. And even though you haven’t confided it to me...I know you’ve been putting a brave face on with this whole moving thing. We’ve been together for almost a year, sweetheart. I know what makes you upset and I’ve learnt that change is one of them. And this? Is a big change. I’m stressed over it all so I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling.” The tears return to sting at your eyes, pricking at them hotly and you sniff almost pathetically at his sweet, soothing words.

“I’m sorry. I just…” He cuts you off once more with a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“It’s okay, honestly. I’m just happy you’ve finally told me. I’d pretty much figured all of this out and I knew you weren’t coping too well. But you weren’t talking to me and I didn’t want to push it if you didn’t feel comfortable. But baby, please, in the future just talk to me. I don’t want us to get into another situation like today where we’re on the verge of an unnecessary argument over something as stupid as a storage unit.” He’s rubbing his hands along your arms in a warming gesture, giving you a soft smile that has the tears banking once more.

“I’m sorry. I just...I always feel so stupid. It’s not even anything that bad and I’m here acting like a baby over it all.” Your words are a little thick from how tight your throat is and Hoseok sighs once more, only this time a little more affectionately. The small smile he gives you cuts through your wallowing self-pity.

“You’re not being a baby. If you’re upset over it, then you’re upset over it. I don’t want you getting stressed or anxious over anything but I’ll take having your routine changed and the places where you feel safe and comfortable changing over you getting pissed at me just because I hadn’t built something on time. Those are real reasons to get upset, emotions that are a part of you and I’ll try my hardest to never be angry at you for feeling them. I can’t guarantee it’ll always work because Lord knows I’d almost reached my point today but I will try. Because I know you don’t mean it. You’re the least angry and mean person I’ve ever met, to be honest.” A kiss to your forehead once more seals his words and you sniff, wiping at your face again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or upset you. I’m sorry. This is just, really big. And I’m scared too. Because if something goes wrong between us then this,” You gesture round to the house in general. “Makes it harder for us to go our separate ways. That frightens me.”

“Hey, it frightens me too. But you know what’s good about that? I have zero plans of leaving you anytime and I’m pretty sure you have zero plans too. Right?” A head tilt from him adds to his questioning tone and you can’t help the soft smile as you nod. Enveloping you in a tight hug once more, Hoseok does his best to reassure you before pulling away slowly.

“Okay, we finished all the bedroom off so...how about we just get the bedding sorted, order takeout and then just watch something on my laptop? No more negativity and no more work today, okay? Let’s just cuddle up and relax.” Looking out over the living room that you can see over the island in the kitchen, you twist your lips at the sight of everything still packed away before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

[karajaynetoday]

how to support your favourite creators on tumblr dot com

hello friends and welcome to unsolicited advice from karajaynetoday

here are 5 simple ways you can support your favourite creators on tumblr/the internet in general, whether they be writers, artists, incredible GIF makers and edit-creators, and everything else in between. I get so much joy out of tumblr content, so I’d thought I’d share some tips that I’ve gathered throughout ten years on this hellsite/safe haven lol

1. REBLOG THEIR CONTENT

go on, tell us how you really feel in the tags. no really, by sharing their original content (always reblog rather than re-post. NEVER re-post without permission or credit - you’ll see on the GIF I’ve used above Tumblr has added the credit to @ghostofmashton as the OG creator), you’re helping give their work more exposure, feedback and love, which is a lovely thing to do.

2. INTERACT AND GIVE FEEDBACK 

Did you lose your mind over that blurb? have a meltdown (in a good way) over that GIFset?? Head on over to their ask box or the replies and let them know!! Giving feedback helps your fave creators figure out what kinds of things you like to read or see on their blog, so they can plan future content! With writing feedback in particular, I like to be specific - if there was a particular phrase or section that made me feel an emotion, I mention it; if there was a particular writing element that struck me (the character dynamics, the scene descriptions, the narrative structure, the fictional universe etc etc) I call that out. A lot of people have an anon option on their ask box if you feel more comfortable giving feedback that way! If creators post things and all it gets is likes but no feedback, it can feel a little bit like you’re screaming into the void! 

3. RECOMMENDATIONS/REQUESTS/FINDING LOST CONTENT

Most creators will say in their bios or on their ask page if requests are open or closed - be sure to be respectful of this! But, did you read a fic or see an edit a while ago that you can’t remember the name or creator of? ASK SOMEONE! Are you in the mood to read a particular kind of vibe? ASK SOMEONE! The 5SOS community on tumblr is incredibly supportive and helpful when it comes to sharing recommendations, whether it’s through having a recommendations sideblog or fic recs tag (for example, I regularly check Lau @sexgodashton‘s rec tag for new pieces to read), responding to specific ask messages that request recommendations, or helping people find things they’re looking for (check out Crystal @kindahoping4forever​ for all your 5sos historian needs) so don’t be afraid to ask.

4. BE RESPECTFUL

yeah look this one is just a good general rule for life and everywhere you are on the internet but basically remember that there is a human on the other side of the screen. this is a safe space, and we can all engage in discourse and headcanons and whatnot, but don’t be a c*nt about it. if you don’t want to see a particular type of content, you can block tags. at the end of the day, the creator of the blog is in control of their own content, and if you don’t like it, unfollow them. if you think their content puts someone in danger or violates the tumblr community guidelines, you can report it. Jex @sadistmichael​ has some of the best NSFW writing on this site, and also some of the most reasonable opinions and responses to divisive discourse and I think this post of theirs sums it up:

a reminder that it’s okay to exist in the same fandom as someone that doesn’t have the same preferences or opinions that you do when it comes to a celebrity you don’t know <3 everyone does not have to think like you to be valid <3 as long as they are not encroaching on someone’s human rights and are in their lane you can unfollow them <3 having different opinions on things is a central part of being an adult in the real world <3 

5. GIVE WHERE YOU CAN 

okay now this is potentially the most controversial one?? maybe?? Idk, that’s why it’s last. obviously right now the world is on FIRE and a lot of people are struggling, so don’t feel pressure at all to do this if you can’t. it’s important to look after yourself first, especially during crazy times like 2020. however, personally I’ve been in a position recently where I’ve had a little spare money (that I would usually spend on my morning coffee in the office, or whatever, that I’m now not spending thanks to rona) and I’ve chosen to support a few of my favourite creators that have ko-fi pages with a small donation as a thank you for their work (@ everyone I follow who doesn’t have a ko-fi page pls make one so I can keep doing this!!! lol). The way I see it, I’d usually buy a book to read, pay for a netflix subscription to watch content, or things like that - so this is my way of repaying creators for delivering excellent content essentially for free in terms of $$$, but not really free if you think about the time and effort that they put into their creations. I know a lot of people pursue creative work for the love and passion they have for it, but everyone also has bills to pay - just because it’s fandom-based work, doesn’t mean it’s any less valuable than mainstream creative work you engage with. If the creators you want to support don’t have a ko-fi or similar, maybe see if you could commission them to do some work for an upcoming birthday or something like that! that being said, donating to support their work doesn't give you ownership or rights - just like buying a 5sos album doesn't. They're not at your beck and call to create and engage 24/7 - see point 4 about BEING RESPECTFUL 🙃🙃🙃

tl:dr: reblog, interact & give feedback, ask for recommendations and make requests, BE RESPECTFUL, give where you can.

thank you for coming to my TED talk <3 

[celinedgd]

The ugly AND beautiful sides of Autism Reposting because there’s too many people reblogging and faving the ugly sides one alone.  So here we go. (Also PLEASE feel free to add to the beautiful sides I’m begging you, help other autistics feel happier about their autistic selves.) The Ugly Sides; -Originally was going to post on DeviantART but changed my mind because I got too much shit on there to trust people. Not saying tumblr would be 100% better, but I know there’s a community on here and I had less if no bad experiences about advocacy in here so. Here we go.- In order to accept, you must also take notice of the bad sides of something. It will help you understand better and better manage those things. And thus I will talk about some of the bad, ugly sides of autism. Because it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, especially because of how other people treat us. It’s not all bad either though. And you must aknowledge this too. (TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of intense ableism, embarassing moments, mentions of functionning labels, mentions of abuse, mention of filicide and kamikaze/suicide, mentions of starvation, mentions of sexualization and sexual harassment.) But sometimes… Sometimes it’s having too many meltdowns in a row, or a shutdown at the wrong moment. (Advice for person who may be in presence of someone experiencing this; Be patient, if possible bring to a darker, quieter place, some water, a comfort object.) Sometimes it’s people not wanting to diagnose you, or vaccinate themselves or their kids because they would rather have a dead child than one like you, even though the anti-vaccine movement has been built on lies, an hoax debunked DECADES ago. (Self-diagnosis is okay. And vaccines work. Fucking. get. vaccinated. If your parents are anti-vaxxers, you can always find a way to get vaccinated another way.) It’s not necessarily having special skills that everyone will be mesmerized at, but being praised as superhuman when you do, and treated like garbage if you don’t. (Don’t worry, you don’t need special skills to be worthy of acceptance. Also, do not assume overcompetence or incompetence. Do not assume anything. Get to know the person and how they function and go from there.) It’s hurling insults around that you don’t understand are harmful or threatening to kill someone because it doesn’t sound that bad in your head, and everyone else is doing it, so it’s all right, right? (No it’s not. But if you encounter an autistic child yelling “I’m going to kill you!” , please try to understand that they are under extreme emotional turmoil. Be patient with them and explain as gently as possible that it’s not okay to threaten someone like that and perhaps why.) It’s having ‘caretakers’ saying how much you are a burden to them (you are not.) , it’s being too tired to function (though that might have to do with depression and anxiety more, sometimes you might experience too many things because of sensory overload for example. Or autistic burnout.) -In the same vein, it’s sensory issues and autistic burnout, it’s having you labeled as high-functionning or low-functionning depending on whether you can speak or not, and having your intelligence and capacities based on that, though it fluctuates sometimes. (your speech and your functions both.) It’s being so overwhelmed that you would hurt people you care about - you don’t mean it, really, it’s just a meltdown. People think they’re temper tantrums and thus that you are panicking on purpose, but they are not. - because you can’t see what you’re doing, and it’s made worse by your own parents filming you and showing you at your most vulnerable moment to complain about you, or having them laugh at you and being afraid that people would take it the wrong way if they saw you acting like this because what would they think? It’s not understanding your own body and for some of us, it might be feeling something a little too late, and being treated like a baby or a dog or worse. It’s banging your head on the wall to make the pain stop. It’s being lonely and feeling like you don’t belong, because no one understands, no one TRIES to understand, and you try so hard to do what you must to live, to perhaps fit in (you won’t though, no need to try. Just be yourself and you’ll find the right people to be with.) , and sometimes you feel like that because you feel like you have never been taught how to better be your autistic self because the world is full of allistics and you had no autistic mentor to tell you how it is, why you feel this or that way and why does THIS person do THAT, so you try to blend in and be with allistics, but they find you too weird. It’s not understanding what people around you say about you because they don’t care to make you understand or they don’t want to try harder. It’s having your own damn parents think it would be better if they sacrificed themselves with you, jumped over a bridge so the world wouldn’t have to “suffer” your presence or have to “deal” with you. It’s allistics telling us we are either angels or demons and creating wars where they don’t exist between us so there is this false sense of supremacy and distance between our “Types”. Having to explain that you’re not perfect and you don’t have to be, but people don’t understand. It’s starving yourself sometimes either because of texture sensitivity or depression, or both. It’s being starved for attention, but not being sure who to approach to talk about your special interests with and being afraid you’re a bother to anyone you do this constantly with. It’s not being able to trust people, because too many people left. Sometimes, it’s being a woman, and thus overly sexualized, but once people learn that you are autistic, it’s being desexualized and infantilized, or being told “It’s okay, I still want to fuck you.” and that you’re “easy”. It’s having people speak for you so much that you end up not knowing what to say yourself or how to make decisions by yourself. It’s having sleepless nights because you are crying so much over how you will survive in this world. It’s you trying to get a diagnosis but having people say don’t exagerate, you’re not that dumb, or that girls or PoC cannot be autistic. It’s having people use your neurotype as an insult. It’s not being sure who to listen to when it comes to advocacy and not knowing enough or being brave enough to speak for yourself and others like you. It’s seeing characters that are so stereotyped it’s not even subtle. And so much more. There are ugly sides to autism, but acceptance starts when you can accept not only the pretty sides to it, but also the ugly, and put a term to the bad things you did to us, taking responsibility. -------------------------- The Beautiful Sides; Because someone reblogged the “ugly sides” one thanking me because they wanted a way to tell people why they hated being autistic. And that made me sad. So I decided to make one for the beautiful sides. And that, too, can educate people, anyway. Now, I am only 23, and I am still learning about myself and what it means to be autistic. I did not have autistic mentors to teach me. The good thing is the community. See? That’s already one beautiful thing. Now let’s see… What are the Beautiful Sides of Autism? -It’s having special interests; Being so passionate about something that it makes you smile and gives you life, and makes your eyes sparkle with glee! -For some, like me, it’s a big sense of empathy, being able to see things through everyone’s points of views (well, almost everyone’s.) and making for a compassion so grand that it encompasses a lot in your life, makes you want to be a better person and spread kindness just to see people smile. (Low-empathy autistics are valid too, though. Much love to you!) -It’s stimming! Feeling things in ways that allistics could never even dream of. (No beef against you if you have none against us though.) -It’s the smiling faces even through all the pain that we’ve gone through. -It’s the happy echolalia when one of your favorite character says something funny, or when you love the way a word sounds. -It’s the brave and mighty who fight for us, knowing that we are loved; the solidarity and the community, picking each other up when we fall. -For some of us it’s those special skills that we pick up that amaze people and and the wonder in their eyes. (No worries, even if you don’t have a special skill, you are ALSO valid and loved and worthy of life. Much love to you!) -It’s seeing things a different way, thus helping others see things they might not have seen the way we do. -It’s finding the opportunity to make a joke, even when it’s a terrible pun. -It’s knowing how to find the perfect gift for a friend or loved one because you pay particular attention to people’s interests. -It’s simply being YOU. And it’s so much more than you might think. Okay to reblog for all. May Peace always find its way to your heart and may you find love for your beautiful, autistic self.

[migleefulmoments]

I'm from SC and to be fair, it's the Palmetto state. I'd feel like it'd be pretty easy to act like SC palms are LA palms. It's so weird to me that they use her as a source, nothing she says can be backed up or validated? Doesn't she claim to be a PR insider, or something like that? Why would she live on the opposite coast, in SC of all places

That’s an interesting tidbit-something I hadn’t considered.

No, her posts were never backed up with proof- she never provided enough information to make it possible to vet her posts. Here are a few from the last week of March 29-31, 2017.  These are literally all the post that she wrote for that period- aka this is the the information her followers were getting except for a thread about Ben that I left out and the reblogs.  

Nomie party (X)

You did????? When? Was I annoyingly perky or in professional mode??

That’s freaking awesome. We must have lunch.

Didn’t post the ask cause that was too many details on that party. 😂😂 already been in trouble thanks.

Glad I’m not the only one that thought he is an ass.

Anonymous asked:

You are gloating aren't you?

Who me? I would never……😇😇😇😇😇

Yeah okay maybe a little. 😈😈😈😈😈

Anonymous asked:

Just being nosey...what are you gloating about?

I might have overheard some of the highlights to a certain article and had mentioned them. The nomie didn’t believe me. 😁 guess they do now.

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on the recent posts of the sock acct?

She seems like she has had a meltdown. Maybe she is high? Honestly not being funny here.

She is all over the place. One minute she is deleting. One minute saying his Fandom is over, another saying let’s be friends and nice to everyone no matter the ships, then next raging at everybody. Deleting even her favorite responders comment’s…

All this while insisting she isn’t able to be online. 😑😑

Anonymous asked:

You have overheard the lea's article??

More like… at the right party at the right time.

Anonymous asked:

I wonder where m is? And what's happening in the next couple days.

Couldnt tell you.

I mean in in La and in hollywood right now working. (Well not today I had a free day)

we hear different things here. Pr talk is a bit different here. Its kind of like…. everyone knows stuff. But it different than what or wants you to know. So I couldn’t even begin to answer what GA folks are being fed.

Anonymous asked:

You have overheard the lea's article??

More like… at the right party at the right time.

Anonymous asked:

When did you see them out? Details

Can’t really say where I was as it included what I was doing and with whom. But it was here after the first of the year

****************************************************************

These are typical posts she would make about her personal life- cryptic, over-the-top and full of BS. She claimed at the time that she was staying at the home of some uber-wealthy guy who was letting her stay there with the roomies and she had permission to take his BMW anytime she wanted- but she never did-she took Uber and posted about her favorite Uber driver.  She claimed she was an working actress and model for Fenty among other companies. She had an IG which was full of Fashion Nova posts where she called herself an actress, model and influencer.    

La chronicles day… I think I just live here now.

Feeling better yeah!!!!

On the list of things I never thought I’d say with such enthusiasm..

“I fought the housekeeper and won!!”

Aka I made dinner and it is full of veggies.

Because apparently some men don’t understand that I’m not 99% muscle

😑😑😑 they are acting like I demanded they be drawn and quartered. Eat the damn veggies you big babies.

Side note, you know that heifer glared at me, sighed and mumbled under her breath that I would mess up her kitchen. Bite me lady.

la life

eat the damn veggies

veggies won't kill you

Legit conversation that happened at lunch

Background. Met the rookmies 😄😄 (this just tickles me) for a late lunch before my shoot. As I’m sitting at the table waiting for them… cue ego tripping hetero male who apparently thought he was gods gift to manhood. (I didn’t get the memo) . He will hence forth be called male chauvinist jackass or Mcj for short …….

Mcj: hi babe, how you doing… Me: 😐 Mcj: I said hi babe how’s you?….

Me: I heard you I was just waiting for you to say hi miss or hello ma'am or something.   Mcj: whatever. This seat taken (as he sits down)

Fill in pointless small talk. Me mostly using one word answers.

Me: yes actually Mcj: whatever so I was thinking, you me dinner then maybe head back to my place, watch a movie….

Me: no thank you. Mcj: babe, come on now, don’t you know who I am? Me: no, should I?

Mcj: why yeah I’m on tv. Me: so? I’ve been on tv and will be again.. your point?

Cue more pointless small talk me just nodding. At some point the rookies show up and are headed over to the table. And I point them out.

Mcj: look so I’m doing you a solid, you can go far being attached to me, so ditch the gay boy band. and let’s go.

This mofo actually pulls out my chair and takes my arm.

………

So what did I learn this evening?

1). 5 inches wedge heels apparently hurt like a bitch on ones instep.   2). Apparently some dudes think this is cute. 3). Don’t piss off the gay boy band, any one of them can kick your butt and not break a sweat.   4 ). Telling a woman to get a real job after I mention why I was busy that evening is probably not the way to get a date. 5) all of the above behavior is not the way to get a date.

I’ve totally summed this up. But for the first time I was able to project anger in photos 😂😂😂 usually I have problems going there lol.

la life

some dudes are idiots

So break in the shoot for some entertainment.

Overheard conversation

“Sandra…. sandra. Bring the butt pads.”

“The lifters or the volume?”

“She has lift, bring the volume” Then heard mumbled “ she’s black… how does she have a white chick ass? She has boobs for days but no ass.”

Then… you realize sandra is walking towards yours truly.

Well ya can thank my German ancestors for that one. Don’t blame me the stylist put me in this maxi dress.

Oy vey………

la life

I'm not bad I'm drawn that way

La premorning gameshow

When your sitting in hair and makeup, wondering if you think they think you can breathe through osmosis.

Omfg. Could you have picked a tighter pair of jeans?

I’m not exactly sitting … more like reclining with style.

FYI deserts before the sun comes up… are cold as heck. Holy crap. 😜😜😜

Ugh. La chronicles .. . time to catch up .

Paying for those two days off. Make up time. Shoot before the Crack of dawn (and i do mean before the crack of dawn) and one this evening.

la life

Busy busy.

Okay soooooooko Goes from cold to….. let’s melt you skin off. 😂

On the plus side. Done til 5pm and I get to do it all over again.

Beach side this time whooo hooo.

[wandaposting]

Eeeee, I meant concerns about lizzie, I'm curious.

+

Hi, are people hating on Lizzy? She’s so sweet and funny and adorable, I adore her

+

heeeeyyyyy i saw you mentioned somewhere legitimate criticisms against lizzie olsen and i’d love to hear them if you’ve got the time - i saw your breakdown of criticisms against wanda and you’re obviously very educated about this, and i feel it’s important i know as much about the celebrities i love as i can. so if you wouldn’t mind i’d really like to hear what the legitimate criticisms against lizzie are?? thnx ily <3 <3 <3

hehehehehe I THOUGHT U MEANT LIZZIE, FRIEND!!!

I’m gonna preface first by saying I’ve called her flawless bean uwu before this and I’m gonna keep calling her flawless bean uwu after this, because that’s what I do, and also because she’s legit a lovely and down to earth person by all accounts and I feel heckin blessed that she plays our girl.

Something else to keep in mind that just about every actor who plays every major character has people ragging on them. There’s an Anti Tom Holland tag. Why is there an Anti Tom Holland tag? I don’t know, but there’s a vocal minority against just about everyone, especially if they’re white in Woke Tumblr/Twitterspace. Haters gonna hate, and we don’t have to pay attention to them. The response to just about every cast member in the MCU has been massively positive where it matters.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t put my critical thinking hat on, think about the times she’s said stuff I’ve disagreed with, and consider the validity of some of the vocal minority that is her detractors.

She doesn’t seem to understand the comics. Or to rephrase this, she hasn’t conveyed an understanding of the comics as thoroughly and eloquently as, say, Tom Hiddleston (who may be One Of Us in the way he waxes beautiful, beautiful meta). At this point it’s easy to pull the Ignorant card, but I think it’s more complicated than that. I stand by my earlier position that Comics Wanda is a Clusterfuck (I say, with endearment), and to have a thorough and eloquent understanding of Comics Wanda is to acknowledge this fact. Comic clusterfucks don’t help someone who is trying to formulate a narrative about a character and get into their shoes.

So she took that big pile of Wanda-related comics they gave her when she first got the role, and she formulated her own narrative to tie it all together. Some parts of that narrative may be different from yours or mine. Other parts of that narrative may be oversimplified. And other parts are certainly different from the narratives of Woke Tumblr/Twitterspace. It’s what she’s got, and it’s not less or more valid than the rest.

I can see why people with their own strong opinions about Wanda would object to things Lizzie has said (I can’t pull up videos right now, but she’s said stuff like “she’s crazy” back in 2015). I’m personally uncomfortable with how she hypes No More Mutants, and I go through a mini internal crisis over whether I should reblog posts that hype No More Mutants every time I see them on my dash. (For those who have seen the Haunting of Hill House, it’d be the same as hyping and praising the deeply troubled Olivia Crain circa Episode 10, if she also happened to psychically massively alter an entire population of people during her meltdown. Also Bendis just sucks at writing OP characters in OP scenarios. And dialogue. And a slew of other stuff.)

She’s also used the term “gypsy” to describe the twins. Some people consider that a slur, others do not, and others have no idea that any drama surrounding the word exists. (Jason Momoa literally named his production company Pride of Gypsies.) I can’t speak to whether it should be considered a slur or not, but I can say that popular culture is clueless about it thanks to… popular culture, and movies like Hunchback of Notre Dame. I didn’t even know it could be considered offensive until I dug deep into the Comics Wanda fandom way back when, because it definitely doesn’t hold the mainstream connotation that “this word is vile and intended to be vile” like other racial slurs. I suggest to those who do consider it offensive to have patience with those you’re informing, because it’s an uphill battle for those reasons. But I’m sure Lizzie never said it again after it was pointed out to her, and Mark Ruffalo has apologized for reacting in poor taste when it happened.

Then there’s the elephant in the room. The big enchilada: the belief that Wanda Maximoff should be played by a Roma and/or Jewish actress. I’ve already deliberated my thoughts about this at length, but to summarize: Comics Wanda is still a Clusterfuck (I say, with endearment) that leaves plenty of room for many, many, many different interpretations and adaptations of Wanda to exist. Lizzie’s great in the role. I’m sure a WoC would be great, too. Heck, I’ve seen some great fancasts floating around, so good on those. But my take is that there’s nothing morally wrong about Lizzie being in the role–you can prefer that someone else be in the role, you can be disinterested in Lizzie’s Wanda because she’s not your tea, and hey, that’s valid.

To those who think Lizzie should be smeared for not stepping down and allowing the role to be recast because it’s the Right thing to do, I say fuck that, those are the kinds of people that are too high up on their high horse for me to understand.

So I’m still gonna be here calling her flawless bean uwu, with the caveat that I do disagree with some of the things she’s stated and probably will state and that’s okay. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯