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The Lion & The Lamb
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3,229
Warnings: Fuckboy!Wanda, Breeding, Collars, Daddy Kink, Eventual Fluff, Face Slapping, Friends With Benefits, Jealousy, Leashes, Possessive Behavior, Rough Sex, Strap-Ons | 18+ Minors DNI
Summary: After a chance encounter with your first girlfriend, Wanda feels the need to stake claim over what is rightfully hers.
“So, I was thinking we could go see a movie after finals.”
There was a hopeful tone in your voice as you spoke. It was, as always, seemingly ignored. Normally you’d appear crestfallen, but after having spent months in such a manner, you simply shrugged.
“Oh, uh, sure,” came the bored reply. “Whatever you want, babe.”
“Maybe I could even go to one of your soccer games?” you asked, knowing what the answer would entail.
“If you’d like to, sure.”
You sighed before focusing on your food once again. It was partly your fault, you admitted. Towards the start of your junior year at university, you had gotten involved with your roommate who you spent the first two years crushing over. While it was not an ideal situation that you were in, only being able to involve yourself in sexual endeavors with the woman, it was more than you would have hoped.
Wanda was known to never fully commit. You were sure she had slept with most, if not all, of her soccer team at one point. She could do what she wanted and the two of you had been clear as to what your relationship entailed, but you couldn’t help the hint of jealousy that came out at the thought of others being so close with your friend.
She only eyed her phone as you studied her – the way in which she wore her snapback backwards, her shirt with the sleeves rolled up past her shoulders, which showed off her toned, muscular arms, and gray sweats along with Vans shoes made you drool. The two of you had chosen to spend time before finals, the calm before the storm, stuffing your faces at a local restaurant – you remembered it was Wanda’s favorite, but she did not even notice. It filled you with disdain to know she could hold you in her arms and make you feel the greatest pleasures in life, but not even bat an eye when it came to a more interpersonal relationship, whether platonic or not.
As you bit your bottom lip as a means to keep yourself grounded, the waitress finally came to your table.
“Hi! My name is Natasha and I will be taking care of you two ladies today. Can I get you guys started with any drinks?” came a voice that you recognized so well.
Turning around, your eyes widened. You were met with a sight you had not seen in years. There stood a redhead with a notepad, smiling at Wanda before turning to you. In a manner that made your heart soar, she only beamed wider when noticing your appearance.
“Y/N?” she questioned with bewilderment. “It’s been so long!”
“Hey, Nat,” you greeted while sitting up straight. “Holy shit, it’s been years! How are you? Nice haircut by the way.”
“Thank you! I’m alright though, just working my way through life until I save up enough to move to California,” Natasha chuckled – you vividly remembered how, during the time in which the two of you had been together, she always dreamed of escaping the cold claws of the east coast and moving to a much warmer atmosphere. “And how are you? You look amazing, detka.”
From the corner of your eyes, you noticed how Wanda visibly tensed at the pet name. She would call you that from time to time while writhing on top of you. Nobody had ever referred to you in that manner from her knowledge. If anything, she never appeared interested in knowing about your past relationships or really anything to do with your personal life.
“I’m doing well. I got finals in a few weeks and I am trying to treat myself before potentially getting a brain aneurysm from all the studying.”
The two of you shared a laugh. It felt as if no time had passed since you were high school students kissing under the bleachers of the football field, away from prying eyes. Natasha had been your first love; it nearly broke your heart when your relationship only turned to shambles as you went off to college and she remained in the work-force. It was not the same when you couldn’t see one another at all times. Still, you found yourself missing her while staring into deep green eyes that never failed to hypnotize you – in that moment, it felt as though there was nobody else but the two of you, although the gnawing image of Wanda still appeared in your brain.
“I’m Wanda, by the way,” came the dirty blonde’s voice through gritted teeth from the other side of the table. “Nice to meet you.”
You recognized the condescending look which she threw at Natasha, one that was typically reserved for the idiotic professors who she almost always clashed with. There was a hesitant wave thrown your ex’s way – a bit too much if you said so yourself.
“Oh, likewise,” Natasha simply replied before turning back to you. “Are you two…?”
“Nope. We’re just friends and roommates,” you quoted Wanda’s words whenever someone asked the same question.
It was strange to watch Wanda’s behavior. You swore her fingernails dug into the table as she kept herself from commenting. Her mouth formed a straight line as she practically stared daggers at Natasha.
“Y/N and I used to date back in high school,” Natasha commented as she let her eyes gaze over Wanda before returning them to you. “Here, I’ll give you my number. We really should catch up and go for a coffee or something. I’d like to know more about how you’re doing.”
After she was finished scribbling away in her notepad, Natasha tore the piece of paper and handed it to you. There was a heart beside the ten digits which warmed your own. You assumed that if Wanda wanted nothing to do with you, perhaps the previous love between you and your ex could be lit up once again.
With a satisfied smirk, Natasha spoke again.
“Now, what can I get you for drinks?”
━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━
The remainder of lunch had been spent in a wave of awkward silence between you and Wanda. She only questioned you about Natasha twice, asking how long the two of you had been together and what your feelings for her were currently – all you did was respond with ‘I don’t know’ to the latter.
Once you were done and ready to split the food, Wanda stopped you. She paid for everything, even if it was rather expensive given the status of the restaurant. The sly smirk along with the head tilt she gave Natasha as she came over to pick up the check became ingrained in your brain.
There was even more silence that followed on your way to your shared dorm. It surprised you to feel Wanda’s hand over your own suddenly. She held it tight as the two of you walked around town en route to the campus. Rather than take notice of your questioning gaze, the woman simply held her head up and carried on.
When you had finally arrived at your dorm, ignoring the questioning gazes from the others who noticed your interlaced hands, Wanda urged you inside. She locked the door behind her, taking off her snap-back before throwing it to the side not caring where it landed.
“Take off your clothes, baby,” Wanda ordered softly. “Go get your collar and leash, okay?”
You recognized that exhausted tone, only did not know where it had stemmed from. Still, you were not about to question Wanda’s actions. Even if the dorm room was small, you still made your way to your side while simultaneously tugging at your shirt, all while searching for the required items.
From behind, you failed to notice Wanda mirroring your actions. She carefully pulled at her clothes, letting them fall over the floor before her bed, which she kneeled by. Her hands went under it, dragging a box that lay beneath out of the dark. When opening it, she smiled – once and for all, Wanda would let herself own only you and nobody else.
“Okay, I’m done,” you said with slight giddiness, smiling at the way the pink faux-leather collar squeezed your neck while the similarly-colored leash fell down your body.
“Crawl to me, Y/N,” Wanda said. “Come here.”
When you got down on your hands and knees, you took in her appearance. She was sitting over the edge of her bed still yanking at the harness over her hips with a dildo standing proudly. You could tell it was the special one she only used several times on you, causing your heart to nearly skip a beat. As you took in the naked beauty who then went to pull her hair into a messy bun, you were frozen in place.
“Don’t make daddy repeat herself,” she announced with a much more dangerous tone. “I need my obedient girl today.”
Before you began moving, you nodded. There was no hesitation that came out as you crawled towards your roommate, a serious look over your face as you attempted to study her. She was clearly upset. That along with her silent hostility towards Natasha at the restaurant made you wonder if she was truly jealous as you suspected.
“You know you’re mine, right?” Wanda asked, her voice seemingly small as you kneeled before you. “You can answer, angel.”
“I know, daddy.”
A hand went to your cheek, softly cupping it. Wanda let her thumb graze around your flushed skin, smiling as you shyly attempted to hide yourself. As much as you loved the unabashed roughness she tended to show at times, such tender acts filled you with joy.
Wanda tugged at the leash, forcing you towards her as she took your lips with her own in a searing kiss. It was rough, somehow different from any other she had planted over your mouth. Ever since having seen Natasha, her emotions had been heightened.
“You’re daddy’s pretty toy. I don’t want anyone else to have you, ever,” she explained as she took small breaks from your making-out session. “And I never want anyone else. I just…I need you.”
“I’m here, daddy,” you replied. There were tears nearly forming at the words she spoke. Even if you were unsure whether she meant them or not, they made your heart swell. All you ever wanted since first meeting Wanda was to be hers – her only toy. “Tell me what I can do to please you.”
One last kiss was placed over your mouth, firmly planted as Wanda lingered there for a few seconds. She let your foreheads pressed together while listening to your mirrored ragged breaths. Never had you been through such intimacy with her.
“Come lay down, princess. Let me use you for a bit,” Wanda announced as she leaned back. She grabbed your hands and helped you up, smiling as you carefully went towards the bed. “Daddy’s going to fill you up with cum until you’re a crying mess okay? I need to make you mine and ruin you for anyone else.”
“Yes, daddy,” you giddily replied, beaming at the idea of potentially being Wanda’s.
Wanda shifted over the bed, her eyes roaming all over your body. She put her hands over your inner thighs, carefully spreading them apart. At the sight of your already drenched cunt, she hummed approvingly.
She moved closer to you, letting the creamy dildo side against you. It was grabbed carefully as she did not want to set off the fake cum by squeezing hard. The tip swirled against your slit, garnering large amounts of your juices over it. While you were wet, it was not enough to keep you from being hurt by the roughness she wished to exert.
“Be right back,” Wanda uttered before moving away.
It felt like a lifetime went by before she came back from kneeling over the floor. In her wake, she carried a bottle of lubricant. When she finally settled between your legs once again, you felt at peace. Drops of the lube were squired over the silicone cock before Wanda’s free hand went to spread it across the length. It wasn’t until it glistened with the liquid that she threw the bottle to the other side of the bed.
Wanda gripped the dildo again before letting it touch your entrance. Rather than swirl it all across letting you grow used to such a feeling, she began easing herself in. There was slight caution to her movements only to be replaced quickly by her trademark self.
Her cock spread your pussy apart. Velvety walls moved to welcome the large toy before wrapping themselves around it. Even after having had it used on you various times throughout the semester, you still moaned loudly whenever Wanda filled you up.
“God, you’re a fucking slut, aren’t you?” Wanda questioned with raised eyebrows. She pushed her hips forth before you were able to reply, only yelping loudly instead. “If you wanted me to make you mine, all you had to do was ask. Not whore yourself out for someone else. So stupid.”
All you could do was lay there, taking each thrust with the utmost joy. A hand went to tug at your leash, bringing your face forth while simultaneously choking you. Wanda’s eyes were dark and similar in appearance to those which had begrudgingly stared at Natasha throughout lunch. With her face dangerously close, a free hand went to cup your cheek.
“Tell me who owns you,” Wanda roared. She brought her hand down over your cheek, slapping it with might as you hissed in return. Those little sounds never ceased to make her smile. “Who’s the only one that can fuck you this well? Who owns your pussy?”
“It’s you, daddy!” came your cry as she hit your face again, holding the leash steadily in order to keep you from squirming away. “You own every inch of me. I promise you I am nobody else’s.”
“That’s a good answer,” Wanda whispered. She gave you one last slap for good measure, only it was softer. “Now open your mouth.”
When you gave into temptation, Wanda soon hovered her mouth above your own. She spit at you, grunting as she drove the toy deeper into your cunt with force.
“You’re such a good whore, Y/N. Just look at how well you take daddy’s cock. Your pretty pussy is practically begging to be fucked, eh?”
You didn’t trust yourself speaking, so instead you were sure to nod with vigor. Your hips began grinding against the dildo in an attempt to get off quickly. With your arousal at its peak, it would not be long until you turned into a mess in Wanda’s arms.
With closed eyes, you held into Wanda for support. Your hands landed over her bare upper arms, squeezing them and groaning. She flexed them slightly, forcing you to open your orbs and stare at the sight before you. Her muscles were clearly visible — you always did love when she used all her strength to pick you up and throw you over the bed before ravaging you.
“Awww baby, you’re adorable,” Wanda laughed as she sat back. Still holding the leash, she brought her other hand down your body, letting it ghost over your lower stomach where a small bulge appeared whenever she pushed the dildo into your depths. “What a stupid cock whore you are. I bet Natasha couldn’t ever make you feel this way, eh, detka? You’re my loyal little bitch.”
“Mhm daddy,” you breathed as her fingers pressed against your body.
Wanda dug her cock as deep as she could, giggling at the much larger bulge shown. The palm of her hand held it down, making you scream out in a midst of immense pleasure.
“You’re close, aren’t you? You’ll soon be daddy’s breeding bitch.”
At that, you nodded with tears already forming in your eyes at your overwhelming arousal. Still pressing down on your body while simultaneously tugging at the leash, Wanda tilted her head. You were the most adorable toy she had seen — always ready to please her whenever and however she wished.
“Come for daddy, baby girl. All over my cock, okay?”
“Yes, daddy,” you murmured, letting your head fall back, enjoying how the collar choked you, as you fell apart.
Dismay took over your being as Wanda removed the toy from your pussy as you moaned through your orgasm. The leash had been left over your naked body as well which visibly made you pout. It was only made better as a hand went to keep your thighs open while the other squeezed the dildo with might.
It wasn’t long until a squirt of fake cum shot through your cunt, filling you up slowly. The white substance was thick as it quickly poured into you. Wanda always loved stuffing the toy with all the could as a means to please you further.
Once you were all nice and full, the woman’s cock slid back inside. It was held there frozen in place as you recovered from your orgasm, your chest still heaving up and down as your body shook.
“I’ll help get you cleaned up in a second, detka,” Wanda mumbled as she leaned down. She pressed her forehead against your own in a manner that was unheard of from such a self-proclaimed cold-hearted person. She sighed, closing her eyes before breathing in the stench of sex that filled the dorm. “You did so well. Thank you for always trusting me enough to touch you like this.”
“And thank you for always being so good to me,” you replied with a tired smile, frowning as Wanda only shook her head in retort.
“I just…I’m sorry. I’ve been really shitty ever since we started doing this. It’s just sex like we both agreed to and, yeah, you know it’s been going on with others for me, but I don’t want that anymore,” Wanda admitted with apparent embarrassment at having to showcase such emotions that were seemingly alien to her. “So, do you want to be my girlfriend? Like, actually I mean. I don’t want anyone else to be honest. Just you, Y/N.”
You remained silent, your eyes wide as you heard the words that spilled from your friend’s mouth. All which you had dreamed of ever since setting your eyes on the blonde woman was becoming reality.
“Fuck, I know I’m an idiot. I can’t expect you to say yes after I’ve spent all these years fucking around literally,” Wanda said with a mix of guilt and disgust at her behavior, especially since all she had ever wanted was you. “Seeing firsthand that someone else can potentially have you too makes my blood boil. You’re my detka, nobody else’s. You can take some time to think about it too. I want you to be o-”
You did not hesitate to squeeze her arms, groaning at their muscular appearance, before pulling her close. Lips interlocked for what you knew would be a core memory throughout your life. You held her close, afraid that if for a moment you were to let go, Wanda would be gone as soon as she came.
“I would love that so much,” you admitted when pulling away to grasp for air while leaving your foreheads touching. “I really want to be yours, Wanda. Always.”
#cthulhus’ fanfics#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x fem!reader#wanda maximoff x female reader#wanda maximoff smut#wanda maximoff x y/n#wanda maximoff x you#wanda maximoff imagine#scarlet witch x reader#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wanda maximoff fic
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Mingle - Part 2
Thanos x Reader
Summary: Thanos wants to protect you at all cost and has to choose whether to continue the game or take you back home. Getting to know you better, the answer is simple.
A/N: More angsty than the first part and doesn't follow the show's plot anymore. Thank you so much for all the likes on the first part, i didn't imagine it getting so many notes 🫶🏻 I wasn't sure which way to take this story, but he's 100% obsessed and in love with her.
☆☆☆
You were holding your tray, about to go to your usual spot to eat with your team and following Dae-ho in front of you but you stopped. You looked over Thanos, seeing him by himself.
"I'll see you later," you said to Dae-ho who looked confused. "I'll go sit with Thanos tonight."
"Thanos?" Dae-ho repeated, making sure he heard you correctly. "Why would you-"
You turned around and left, not wanting to answer to any other questions Dae-ho would ask you about your sudden interest to spend time with Thanos. Mostly, because you didn't know what to say.
Why? Because he just saved you a moment ago? You weren't sure if that was the only reason or not, you had to go over to him and figure it out yourself.
When you arrived to the bunk where Thanos was sitting and already eating his food, his eyes lit up.
"Is the invite still open?" you asked awkwardly, afraid that he had been only joking earlier about asking you to join him.
"For you, of course," he said, smiling, and pat the empty space next to him on the mattress. "I saved a seat for you."
You gave him a little smile and sat on that specific spot.
"For a second i thought you had changed your mind," he said, chewing his food.
"Oh, well, i wasn't sure if you truly meant it," you admitted, avoiding his eyes at first. "But then i saw you sitting alone. Why aren't you with your friends anyway?"
"I figured you'd just get uncomfortable with them," he shrugged. "And i wanted to be alone with you, even if just for a moment."
You felt your cheeks turning red. "Why?"
He gently put his hand on your chin and turned your head to look at him.
"I want go get to know you better, pretty flower," he smiled, making you turn even more red and you immediately turned your head away, the nickname making you feel funny inside once again.
"Oh," was the only sound you managed to breathe out.
"You know, from the day one i've tried to approach you but you've been ignoring me quite well," he pointed out. "You could add it on your resume as one of your skills."
"Oh, i mean," you said nervously. "I'm not used to guys trying to get close to me before, so i really didn't think much of it."
"Not used to it?" Thanos asked, acting dramatic and overly shocked, putting his hand against his chest and not believing what he was hearing. "You're that gorgeous and guys haven't gone after you? You're lying."
"Stop it," you chuckled and the smile lingered on your lips longer than before. "Maybe i just can't take a hint very easily."
"Well, tell me something about you?" Thanos asked and thought about something for a while. "Hmm, what's your favorite type of flower?"
"Flower?"
"It's for our future date, i need to make sure i'll get you something you like," he explained. "I don't want to get you roses if you don't like roses."
"Oh, well, i don't really know. Nobody ever got me flowers before," you said, the blush sticking on your cheeks like a glue. "I suppose orchids and lilies are pretty."
"I'll keep that in mind," he nodded.
His words made you feel nice and get butterflies in your stomach, but you really didn't understand what his intentions truly were. You hadn't had many guys to show interest on you before, if any, so you had been used to the fact that you might just stay alone.
You continued your conversation and lost the track of time completely. You asked about his life as a rapper and what his life goals were in the music industry, since that was really the only thing you knew about him outside these games before now talking with him. He asked about your hobbies and in general about your interests - you could sense that he was considering to include some of them to your "date" he had mentioned.
Eventually he changed the subject to the one that you would have prefered to leave alone. The one you hadn't truthfully told even to Dae-ho or Gi-hun yet.
"So, how did you end up here?" Thanos asked. "You know, debts and all."
"Well, i wouldn't want to bother you with that. It's pretty depressing," you said after being quiet for a moment, twirling the rest of your food with your fork. You were a little nervous to open up to him about it now that you were having a nice conversation, him making you even laugh here and there. But for some reason, you had started to become more comfortable around him and able to talk more freely.
"I'd be glad to hear it, if you want to share," Thanos said, encouraging you to tell him, but only if you were comfortable with it.
"Oh, well," you sighed. "The main reason i came here was because my little brother has cancer." You took a deep breath to get the words properly out of your mouth. It was already hard to think about and even harder to talk about it without crying. You tried to say the words as fast as you could, otherwise they would be stuck in your throat. "We don't have money for his treatments, my mom doesn't earn a lot from her work, and if we don't start treating it soon, he will die."
You were looking at your lap, scared to glance back at Thanos. You were feeling your eyes becoming wet and you were afraid you'd start to cry in front of him. He was quiet for a while, speechless. He hadn't been prepared for you having such a heavy reason to be here.
"How old is your brother?" Thanos asked softly.
"He's just 11," you answered and felt tears rising up into your eyes. You hated talking about this because even a single thought of losing your brother broke you. You wiped a tear off your face as soon as it had appeared out of your eye.
"I'm sorry," you chuckled, trying to force yourself to lighten up. "I didn't mean to ruin the moment."
"No, no you didn't ruin anything, it's okay," he assured you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry i made you bring it up."
You buried your face on his shoulder.
"I just want to get back home, i don't care how much money i'll get and if it's enough to cover everything," you mumbled. "I just have to go and take care of my brother."
You stayed like that for a while, Thanos comforting you the best he could. Now, the need to protect you at any cost grew even stronger.
☆☆☆
It was time to vote, whether you'd want to stay and play the games or go home with the money earned by far.
Thanos was having mixed feelings. Personally, he would have of course continued the game and played for more money - the current amount wasn't enough to cover all his debts. One more game, that was what had been going on in Thanos' head.
One more game.
But when he turned to look at you, standing further away from him with your group, your gaze stuck on the floor, looking anxious - he felt something sting and break his heart.
Every day here was a new possibility to die. None of you knew what tomorrow's game was, it was always a total surprise until you started playing it.
What if the game tomorrow would be too hard for you and you wouldn't make it? Thanos couldn't live with himself anymore if he had decided to continue the game and survived, but you lost your life, as would your brother.
Player 230.
Thanos stood in front of the two buttons, gaze jumping between them. Before getting to know you, his choice would have been simple. But now?
"Player 230," the pink guard in front of Thanos said, he hadn't realised how long he had been standing there doing nothing. "Please make your choice."
Eventually, against all the odds, Thanos pressed the red button, giving one more point to the X team. He glanced towards Nam-gyu who looked at Thanos like he couldn't believe his eyes what he was seeing. Thanos ignored him and walked to the red side, appearing next to you.
"Told you i'll get you home, pretty flower," Thanos whispered to you.
You looked at him like you were sure you were seeing things. Being here had finally made you to hallucinate. Surely he hadn't chosen to go home only because of you, he couldn't be that attached to you already.
"But you still needed a lot more money," you pointed out, furrowing your eyebrows. You would have understood if he wanted to and chose to stay. You weren't a burden he had to bear.
"And i'll find a way to pay my debts on my own," Thanos answered.
The waiting felt like it took forever. There weren't that many players left anymore, but it felt like everything was happening twice slower than in reality.
Finally, after the last player had voted, you looked at the scores and you felt like your entire world was slowing down even more and you weren't able to get air into your lungs.
The situation was 50-51. The 'O' team won yet again. You wanted to break down and cry, right then and there. When you had seen Thanos approaching you with the red patch on his jacket, somehow you were sure that this time you were going home, as if the decision was depending purely on him.
If just two more people would have voted for X, you'd be on your way home. But no, you had to stay for another game.
"I'm sorry," Thanos said and held your hand, looking genuinely concerned. "I really am."
"It's fine," was all you said until you walked back to your bunk without sparing a single glance at anyone else.
☆☆☆
Laying on your bed on your side you weren't able to sleep. You only stared ahead of you, feeling hopeless. You wanted out of this place so badly and the voting tonight had given you way too much false hope that this could actually be over soon, just to be completely crushed.
You sat up and wiped the tears off your face, trying to calm yourself so you'd be able to sleep atleast a little bit.
You were thinking about your little brother. He deserved so much more, had his entire life ahead of him. If you were able to take his cancer to you, you would take it any day and let him live. What if he had passed away during your stay here? What if you'd go back home and meet only your mother who had been crying for days and refused to eat, sleep or do anything?
You had to bite your lip to keep the sobs inside you, afraid you'd wake up the people sleeping near you.
"Can't sleep huh?" Thanos whispered, you didn't look at him. You had seen him approaching from the corner of your eye, even though you hadn't fully turned to look at him. "Listen," he continued and took your hand in his. "I'm going to make sure you'll get out of here, okay?"
"And how are you going to do that?" you scoffed, accidentally letting out a single sob. "You don't even know the next game."
He sat down on the bed with you and took your hand in his. He didn't know how he could comfort you.
"I don't, but i'll do whatever i can to get you home," he said and tried to give you a comforting smile. "I'll protect you, no matter what, and when the votings come, i'm absolutely sure that we'll get to leave this place."
"What are you going to do? Cheat the system?"
"If i have to," he smirked. He hesitated for a second until lifted his hand to wipe the remaining tears off your cheek.
☆☆☆
It was time for the next game. You arrived into a room which had four shapes on one of the walls.
The same symbols as in playing cards.
♤♡◇♧
The game was called Dalgona. It was exactly the same game Gi-hun had talked to you about in the beginning when he had thought Dalgona must be the second game like three years ago. Only the shapes had now changed.
The reason why they had suddenly brought dalgona back to this year was unclear to you. Unclear to everybody. By now everyone had thought that only the first game was the same and they had changed the rest of them to new ones.
Players were commanded to line up in front of one of the shapes, chosen by their own will. Gi-hun immediately told you to choose the diamond, it would be the easiest one.
Thanos let you go for the diamond, but he chose the heart, even though you insisted that he'd take the diamond too.
"Come on, it's not that much harder, i'll be fine," he assured you with a smile, as if it wasn't a big deal.
If you were going to die just because you accidentally cracked a wrong piece of a cookie off, that would be super embarrassing to explain in a funeral. Although, dying here you wouldn't even get a funeral.
You sat down on the floor, legs crossed, and the time started running down, one second at a time. You took the needle in your shaky hands and carefully started carving the lines of the shape, afraid to press too hard and crack the cookie in half any minute.
One thing you were afraid as well was when someone would be shot, your hand would accidentally slip due to the loud noise and make you fail too.
Thanos took quick glances at you once in a while, to make sure you were still sitting there. His hands were sweating and his heart beating fast.
The only sounds during the game were only the gunshots and the voice announcing which players had just been eliminated. You flinched each time, even though you had tried to prepare yourself for that.
This wasn't a game where Thanos would be able to help you and he hated it. On the first game, he had protected you by running in front of you. On the second game, you had other players in your group to help you. On the third game, he had saved you by taking you to a room with him when you had been left all alone.
Now, you were all on your own, he wasn't able to say a single word for you, you all had to stay quiet and only concentrate on your own task. He didn't think you were weak, not at all, he just needed to be there as a backup plan, ready to catch and save you if something went wrong.
Thanos was afraid he'd crack the cookie any second. If he was to die now, there would be one person less to vote for X and get you back home, though he couldn't know how many people from the blue side would be killed today.
He wasn't sure when had been the moment when he had decided that protecting you had become his number one priority. It just naturally came to him.
On the distance, Thanos saw one player to use a lighter to heat up the needle and then poke the cookie. By the looks of her face, she was subtly looking around her to see if the guards were watching her. He only had the pills inside his cross and they weren't much of a help for him right now.
Thanos was glad that you had chosen the easiest shape and not spades or clubs. He did believe in you and was sure to see you alive on the other side.
His heart stopped when he cracked a small piece off from the tip of the heart when he had completed the task. It was only a very tiny piece and the cookie still looked like a complete heart, but he didn't know how detailed and harsh the system was here. Thanos saw a guard approaching him and showed the heart to him, hiding the slightly broken tip with his finger as he held it up.
Pass.
Thanos let out a breath of relief, being able to breathe again properly. He didn't know why, but that was one of the most stressful games by far.
You were still carving yours as Thanos walked outside, but you weren't far behind. Just barely 20 seconds later, you had finished your task as well.
Pass.
☆☆☆
"Señorita, excuse me," Thanos said, making you stop before you managed to go and talk to Dae-ho, who had finished the challenge before you. Thanos was standing closer than you had expected, though he had seen you first.
"Yes, señor?" you said back sarcastically.
"I have a gift for you," he smiled.
"A gift?"
"I'll give you my heart if you'll let me have yours, after this is all over," he said, genuine kindness in his eyes.
"What are you on about?" That was such a cheesy and odd line to say out of nowhere, but it did make your heart skip a beat.
"When we get home tomorrow, i'll take you out soon, after you've seen your brother."
"How are you so sure we'll get home? People might vote to stay."
"Have a little bit hope, pretty flower."
He took your hand in his, you didn't resist.
"Keep this safe for me, okay?" he said and put something in your hand, closing your fist around it. Then, he left without another word.
You opened your hand, seeing the heart he had carved out from the cookie laying on your palm.
☆☆☆
The fourth game had eliminated only 29 players in total, so there was 72 left.
Thanos tried to count the players how many of them had blue patches and red patches on their jackets, but he lost count and wasn't sure if he had counted some people twice or not at all.
Thanos went to the bathroom where he found his former group.
"Well, well, well, look who it is," Nam-gyu slowly said and crossed his arms on his chest. He had three other guys around him, one of them Min-su. "Coming back to us after betraying us like that? I think not."
He stepped closer to Thanos.
"Sorry to say, but i don't think you're welcome anymore."
"I don't give a shit about you, Nam-su," Thanos said and didn't care to hear him trying to correct Thanos for saying his name wrong again. "Tonight, you better all vote for X or tomorrow i may not be in as good mood as right now, seeing you," Thanos said loudly and then glanced at Min-su, who still had the blue patch on his jacket. Thanos walked towards him and trapped him between himself and a wall. Thanos tried to change the expression on his face to more kind and sweet. "You'll do that for me, right Min-su?"
Thanos gave him a sweet smile, but Min-su hesitated without a word, both Nam-gyu and Thanos looking at him. Min-su wasn't entirely sure which side was safer for him to choose.
"What's up with you anyway? Don't tell me that woman has gotten into your head this badly. I'm not going home yet when there's more money to be earned."
"You can earn your money elsewhere," Thanos stated, gritting his teeth.
"Seriously, dude. I get that she's hot but-"
"One more word and you'll lose a tooth," Thanos threatened, pointing at him with his finger.
To be honest, Thanos wasn't sure how he had fallen so hard for you in such a little time. He had never been so smitten about a woman before, but there was something different about you, and he needed to know you better, no matter what he had to do to achieve it.
☆☆☆
The votings came and this time, it was easier for him to press X than last time. The money he had earned by far wasn't enough for his debts, but he'd figure it out how to get the rest when you had managed to get out of here.
Both of you had now voted and were only waiting for the result. Thanos glanced at you and you looked like you were going to be sick. He took your hand in his, making you jump a little bit for the sudden touch, but you let your fingers wrap between his. He gave you a comforting squeeze.
Internally, Thanos felt terrified. What if he had only given you false promises and you'd have to stay for the fifth game again? You were so broken yesterday that he didn't think he'd be able to see the same look on your face again this fast. You would definitely lose any trust you still might have for his words, not believe anything he would say to you anymore.
You hid your eyes with your left hand, not wanting to watch how the scores were changing and how much X was losing to O.
Then, all the votes were in and for a moment Thanos' heart stopped by looking at the score.
37-35.
"Y/N," Thanos whispered, finally using your real name and not only the nickname he had chosen, and brushed your left hand as a sign to let it drop from your face. "You can look now."
When you saw the scores on the broad, your knees felt so weak that you had to cling on Thanos' jacket not to fall on the floor. He wrapped his arm around your waist, and you broke down in tears.
"Oh my god," you laughed between the tears. "Thanos. Oh my god."
You wrapped your arms around his neck, startling Thanos at first how you pressed your body against his, but he wrapped his arms around you securely. Surprisingly, a hint of red was rising on his cheeks, along with a smile.
"I can go back home," you said against his jacket.
You pulled back and without thinking, you pressed a light kiss on Thanos' cheek.
"Thank you."
"So," Thanos lingered and took your hands in his. "I'll pick you up on Saturday?"
You bit your lip. "Okay."
☆☆☆
A/N: I'm not sure what i think about this compared to the first part, but i hope you liked it 🫶🏻
Tags:
@justsisse
@septywitch
#thanos imagine#thanos x reader#squid game imagine#squid game x reader#choi su bong imagine#choi su bong x reader
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wildfire (cs) | twelve.
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 4.8k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, lotsa talk goin around, mostly focused on namjoon lol, i'ma tell yall rn - cant trust nobody!!, everyone is just onto san x oc but for the wrong asssss reasons, joon loves his 'yes or no' questions lmao, again - i promise you there is no ill intentions behind namjoon's actions - he is trying to see both sides but he has to do what he needs to do as a department chair first & foremost!! pls understand my guy.. he had to think quick!
Today, it feels like everyone is staring at you.
Today, it feels like everyone knows, and everyone is projecting their assumptions about you and San out into the world.
"You okay?" Eunchae looks down at you as you walk and avoid contact, keeping your eyes down on your feet below or your phone. "You're awfully quiet today." Maybe word hasn't gotten to Eunchae, Jurin or Felix yet, but you know it'll eventually make its way over.
Or, maybe they have heard and they're just waiting for you.
All you know is that you wanna hide under your blankets to prevent all this overthinking, this anxiety from feeling like everyone is watching you.
"Yeah. Just tired."
"You sure? I'm all ears, you know."
"Mhm." You give her a small reassuring smile as you tug on your bag. "Thank you."
"Course."
"Have you heard from Jiung today?" You ask. You haven't really talked to Jiung since your fight at the happy hour event, and he hasn't done much to talk to you either. It's a bit awkward, but whenever you and your friends are all together, you try to keep the peace and act like nothing is wrong. You do hope he's okay, and you do hope to have your bestfriend back— but you're still upset at the fact that he jumped to conclusions about San and accused him of forcing you into this.
"No. But, he did say he probably wasn't gonna grab lunch cause he needs to take care of some things."
"I see."
"I'll see you for lunch though, right?" You nod, just as the Biology building comes into view. "Goodluck with class today."
"Thanks." You squeeze her hand before heading inside for class. Luckily, Yunho said he wouldn't be able to join class today. You weren't really in the mood to deal with him, and you're more so worried about getting through class in one piece before your mind tears you apart with all this overthinking.
"Morning Y/N!" A student already sitting in the classroom says. You're instantly comforted as you greet them back and start getting set up at the front of the classroom. But, that instantly goes down the drain when two more students walk in together— eyeing you as they pass the front table before talking amongst each other.
Fuck.
You haven't heard from San either.
The world truly felt like it was swallowing you whole.
—FLASHBACK
"Hey! I'm back." You smile at Sunwoo as you place your things down at your desk. It instantly fades when you get a chance to look around the basement office, a few of your lab members talking amongst themselves while looking in your direction. You slightly furrow your brows, wondering what exactly they were talking about or why they felt the need to be doing all of that in your face.
Was everyone in on you and San?
Is this what everything has come to?
"Hey you!" Sunwoo looks up, noticing the shift in your mood. He turns to look at everyone, shaking his head before returning his attention towards you. At this point, everyone has returned to their desks or left the room to head into the behavior or wet lab rooms. "You good?"
"Hm." You hum. "I guess."
"You guess? How was the conference?"
"Good! It was chill. Jotted down a few presentations I wanted to share with you and Belle. Is she around?" He shakes his head.
"Haven't seen her."
"Hm, okay."
"You can tell me, I'm all ears." You look at your watch.
"I gotta run behavior soon."
"So, let's grab something quick to eat before you run behavior?"
"I'm down. Kinda starving anyway."
"Yeah, let's get something in you. You won't be able to focus otherwise." He stands and stretches before nodding towards the door. "So, what was the most interesting?" You follow behind him with your wallet clutched in hand, lingering eyes watching as you leave with Sunwoo.
"Maybe she's trying to get around the lab?" You overhear one of the guys say just as you walk out of the room with Sunwoo, pausing in your steps.
"Sunwoo."
"Huh?"
"Actually, you know what. I think I can hang on until dinner. I should get started on behavior. We can talk about this another time."
"Huh? No, let's get something really quick."
"You can go ahead without me. Sorry. I just realized I'm more strapped on time than I thought I was."
"Okay? But, I'm grabbing you a snack and you better eat it." He slowly starts walking backwards down the basement hallway, glaring at you.
"Thank you." Sunwoo watches as your head falls when you walk back into the basement office. Truth be told, he's been hearing the talk go around, but he's not one to meddle— especially if it has something to do with his good friends. He'll always be on your side, regardless of what people say or think.
And he feels awful it's starting to be more obvious around you. The talk. The looks.
He wishes he could do more as your friend to help keep it away from you.
—END
Namjoon is already having a rough start to his day despite it being one of the lighter days meeting-wise. He was woken up to an urgent, sensitive email from the dean about an anonymous tip that came in overnight about San:
Namjoon— Please get to the bottom of this; we received this tip last night about San and his student. 'Hi. I'm not sure who to direct this concern to anonymously, but I believe Y/N Y/L/N and Professor Choi (San) are in an inappropriate relationship. I think she might be using it to her advantage to move forward in the program and secure her spot in his lab.' I'd like to resolve this before the end of the week. This should not be taken lightly if this is true...
And the thing is— he's just frustrated that this has been taking up this time lately. He hasn't even gotten his own time to think properly. He could only sigh in disappointment as he got ready for his day, unsure of what else it could bring him.
He should've known the storm was coming.
Iseul tugs on her jacket as she heads over to the Panama Building, the wind cooling her cheeks as she made sure to clear her hour for this particular meeting. Most students are in class right now, so the halls are quiet, still. Iseul takes the elevator up to the second floor and steps out, rushing down towards the left end of the hall.
"Namjoon." Namjoon turns over his shoulder to see Iseul. His door is wide open since he doesn't have any important meetings for awhile, and he always tries to foster a welcoming environment by letting students [and faculty] know they're always welcome to pop in if they need him.
He did not mean her though, especially today.
"Iseul."
"Can we talk?" Namjoon quickly sizes her, realizing she's already inside his office. He doesn't necessarily have a choice, but he knows this talk was gonna happen sooner or later.
He knows Iseul always has something to say.
"You're already in my office so I don't think there's necessarily a choice." He says it in a slightly playful manner just so he doesn't come off entirely rude. "What's on your mind?" Iseul shuts the door and crosses her arms before looking at him. Namjoon sits on the edge of his desk, hands loosely clasped together.
"I think you might already know." He shrugs.
"Enlighten me."
"San."
"What about him?"
"Can you let him know how dangerous it is to be dating his rotation student? He's being stupid."
"He's a grown man."
"And you're the chair."
"Thanks for the reminder." He furrows his brows. "Respectfully Iseul, this is not a discussion for you, that's why I'm not trying to indulge."
"How is this not? He's putting his reputation on the line, along with the school's. Including yours—"
"I don't see where you're involved. You don't have anything to do with him directly or the bioengineering department." He crosses his arms and stands. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, but this wasn't your place to do so. I'll handle it and I'll take care of it, so you don't need to worry." Namjoon glares at her a bit.
"You're being so casual about something pretty severe." Namjoon pauses as he maintains his eye contact with her. She wants him to shrink and fold, but he won't.
"I think we both know that's not the reason why you're bringing this up." Her brows are knit tightly as they sit in an awkward, tense pause. "Aren't you tired of treating San this way? Why exactly do you feel so strongly about calling him out?"
"I'm not even doing anything to him—"
"You're right, you're not. You don't respect him, you don't acknowledge him, you don't know how to be civil with him. Yet, you don't see me calling you out on your behavior towards your ex-husband who has done nothing but try and keep the peace. I only ever hear San's name come out of your mouth when you've got something bad to say about him." She glares at him. As much as Namjoon equally tries to be there for all of the faculty and to not choose sides, one thing that can surely piss him off is when people act this way unwarranted.
So no, he won't sit back if he feels the hostility. He understands the severity of the situation and he has yet to gather his thoughts and his information, but he won't take this.
"So, you're gonna let this go? Do you even actually understand the situation, Namjoon? If you won't take care of it, I'll have no choice but to escalate this to the dean."
"I do, plenty. You don't have to tell me twice or how to do my job, Iseul." He walks over to the door. "I already said I'll take care of it. On my own terms and in my own way. Not the way you want me to." He places a hand on his hip. "And what makes you think we haven't already discussed this?"
"Fine. If that girl ruins everything for the school—"
"She won't." Namjoon cuts her off just as he swings the door open. "This will be taken care of, end of story. Is there anything else I can help you with that doesn't involve San and his personal matters?"
"No." She huffs a bit before walking out of the room. At this point, Jiung is cutting the corner and almost running into Iseul as he makes his way to Namjoon's office. Jiung does a curt bow to Iseul as she storms by, heels clicking away on the linoleum floor. Her feet are heavy, Jiung feels every step even as she gets further and further away.
"Oh, Jiung. Nice to see a friendly face." Namjoon lets out a breath and gives him a toothless smile.
"Professor Kim." Jiung gives him a bow. "Are you free right now?"
"Mhm." He steps aside. "Just finished with Professor Lee. Come on in." He welcomes him inside, a bit relieved to see his face and to be welcomed by his gentle aura. It's nothing like Iseul and he's grateful; although, it does make him a little nervous to see Jiung in his office when he doesn't necessarily belong to the department.
And just like Iseul, the buzz around campus, everything that's been going down— Namjoon already feels like he knows what this is about.
The only thing he can do is confront it and take care of it just like he told Iseul he'd do. But, how? He's not sure. He's gonna have to take the time today to sit San down and poke at his brain because he's just not understanding how all of this went down and why his name and your name are being tossed around together.
Maybe he just didn't wanna believe it was true; not with San, no. He couldn't. Both as his friend and colleague.
"What can I help with? I'm a little surprised you're popping into my office since you're in the electrical engineering department."
"Ah, cause.." Jiung slowly sits in the chair and sets his bag down. "It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me." Namjoon cocks his head to the side.
"Okay, no worries. I'm all ears."
"I-I don't really know how to say this, but I'm mainly concerned about a friend. She's in the bioengineering department."
"I think I might know what you're talking about." Namjoon says, giving Jiung a nod to proceed with his explanation.
"Yeah, it's that. I feel like Professor Choi might have forced her into it, though. It just seems really out of character for Y/N, and I don't know. I guess it just feels like he might have said something or tried to take advantage of her."
"I understand your concern for your friend, but can you let me know why you think Professor Choi is taking advantage of her or forcing her into this?"
"I just.. it just seems off, is all."
"But, what if this is also Y/N's choice?"
"It's not like her."
"I'm not saying you don't know your friend, Jiung. But, there are things people are fully capable of doing that can come off as unexpected from your point of view."
"I talked to her after the whole happy hour thing went down and I found Professor Choi kinda cornering her against the wall. She didn't look scared or anything, but she did get defensive while I was talking to her and asking her about it."
"I see." Is all Namjoon says because one, he just doesn't know. Just like he told Jiung, there are probably things he doesn't know San is capable of doing. He needs to talk to him and that's the only way he'll get the proper story. The only way to get to the bottom of it is finally confronting San about the issue at hand.
Face to face.
To be honest, he's been putting off the conversation because it's not a conversation he wants to have. It's not easy, nor will the decision at the end be something he wants to do— but he has to.
"I'm sorry, Professor Kim. I don't mean to add to your plate, but I got worried."
"Is Y/N doing okay otherwise?" He nods.
"Think so. She hasn't been saying much. We got into a fight after I confronted her so we haven't been talking."
"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure things will smooth over sooner or later." Namjoon says. "Is there anything else you'd like to let me know?"
"No, that's all. I'm sorry I don't have much details, I'm just worried about her."
"All good, I understand. I'm sure she appreciates it, too. She's lucky to have a friend like you by her side."
"Thanks, Professor Kim. For hearing me out."
"Sure. I'll take care of it and see what I can do, okay?" Jiung nods and stands, slipping his bag strap over his shoulder.
"Can we keep this between us? Please don't mention that I stopped by."
"Of course." Namjoon says softly as he stands to walk him to the dior. "Of course." He repeats.
"Thanks."
"I just can't promise you I'll have any updates cause it'll be pretty confidential moving forward."
"It's fine. I get it." Jiung stops right before he steps out the door. "Thank you again."
"No problem. You know how to reach me if you have any other concerns." Jiung nods before slipping through the door and taking his exit. Namjoon exhales heavily before pulling out his phone to text the person he needs—
namjoon: can we talk in my office? i'd rather much do this today, not later.
namjoon: i'm free for the next hour and half.
san: yeah. i'll be there in 15 minutes.
namjoon: thanks.
He sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to gather his thoughts. It's the hardest thing to approach this as a colleague rather than a friend because as a friend, Namjoon would let this go. He knows San deserves to be happy, and it sounds like he is. That's all he's ever wanted for him especially after all the hurt and pain he had gone through with Iseul and Yunho. But as a colleague, his 'higher-up' even, it's wrong. San's happiness is wrong because it's with his student. A student who is a grown adult who can make decisions for themselves. It's wrong.
So, what does he do?
He feels a migraine coming on, so he tries to busy himself with some emails, making sure deadlines and reports have been submitted. Luckily, the dean is giving him some time and isn't pressing him for answers right this second even though he knows it's on his mind. If he was, Namjoon wasn't sure what he'd say.
He's not sure how he'll get San out of this.
"Yo." San appears in his office, softly shutting the door behind him.
"Take a seat." San immediately picks up on the vibe in the room and how stressed Namjoon looks. He knows they still need to talk about things, but something tells San it's become much deeper than that and he's not prepared for it whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried to prepare, there's no proper way to be fully prepared.
"You okay?"
"Honestly, I don't know." He sits back a bit, hands clasped on the surface of the table. "But, I'm just gonna get right to it because I think this is way overdue."
"Okay." San manages to respond softly.
"We need to talk about what happened at the happy hour event the other day, plus that whole thing with Iseul and Yunho." Namjoon pauses before he cuts to the chase. "San, why do I keep getting wind of you being in a relationship with your rotation student?" Silence. "Y/N, to be exact." He looks at him. "Is that what the whole happy hour thing was about? Is that what you three were discussing in the conference room yesterday?" He sighs. "I was try to push this off a little longer until I could figure out how to get you out of this, but word keeps going around and it definitely didn't help that you three had a screaming match about it." San sighs heavily as he sinks into the chair.
"Well, as far as I know, I wasn't planning on discussing my personal matters with Yunho and Iseul. They trapped me into the fucking—"
"San." Namjoon stops him. "Is it a yes or no?" Pause. San just looks at Namjoon and it's enough for him to put the final piece together. Everything had been about you from the get-go, but San still won't say it. He's doing everything to protect you, but this might be it; there's no way he can lie to Namjoon about this, or hide this from him any longer.
It's far too late for that.
"San." He repeats. "This is not the time to try and lie to me. I had two people talk to me about it and an anonymous tip came in that was sent my way."
"Who?"
"It doesn't matter." Namjoon furrows his brows and lets out a heavy exhale. "I need the truth from you. Now." The exasperated sigh that leaves San's lips is full of emotions; fear, anxiety, protectiveness, even.
"I'm sorry." Is all San can respond with. It comes out low, barely above a whisper.
"Why?" Namjoon cocks his head to the side, hands on his hips. "Why? I just wanna know why!" His voice is harsh, but he keeps his tone low. "A student, your student? It's damn near everywhere, you know that, right? I don't know how I'm gonna fix this for you, but you know they'll take action against her and probably you—"
"Namjoon, please." San pleads. "Please don't do this to her. Don't take her out of the program. Do whatever you need to me, but don't take it out on her."
"San." Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out an exasperated sigh. "You should've known better." He looks at him, but San can't even respond. All he can do is shrug and shake his head because he did know better, he just didn't wanna do better and chose to be selfish. "I need to figure this out before end of the day and report back to the dean. I can't force you to act a certain way or do things you don't wanna do. But, for this reason in particular, I'm gonna need you two to stop. You're not interacting with her on campus, you're not going to be involved in anything having to do with her moving forward." Namjoon shakes his head. "You both couldn't wait until graduation or something? I know it's years ahead but you know how this looks—"
"I— no. Things just happened. That's really the only way I can explain it. I'm sorry. The hell am I supposed to do? I can't help but feel how I feel for her." Namjoon sighs heavily, feeling torn between wanting his friend to be happy, but concerned and disappointed for his colleague.
"That isn't gonna fly. You knew better than to get involved with a student in your lab. You can't just risk everything you've built for yourself, San. You have no idea how much trouble you could get into if the school finds out just exactly how deep your relationship has gotten with her— let alone, your own rotation student!" His tone slight rises, but it falls when he sees San visibly shrink and lose eye contact with him. He paces around for a bit, hands still on his hips as he tries to figure out a way to brush this over before it gets way too messy and complicated. "I get you. I do. You deserve to be happy, and who the hell am I to police your actions? But, I can't have you do this to yourself or her. The both of you are grown so I expected you to do better."
"So, what's gonna happen?"
"Well, I'll need to let them know this isn't true and that you two aren't in a relationship. I'll have to remove her from your lab and I'll need to figure out where I can place her or what I can do for her."
"They won't kick her out, right?"
"Honestly, I can't even be sure. I don't think so, but you two will definitely not be allowed to be near or around each other." Namjoon looks at him. "Are you not even worried about yourself?"
"No, I'm not."
"She's worth it to you?"
"More than anything." San says softly. "Look, it's cliché but you really don't understand." Namjoon shrugs.
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I don't wanna take your happiness away, San. Believe me. That's the last thing I wanna do and this is already difficult as is. But, it just had to be her?"
"It did, yeah. And there's nothing I regret about it." Another small silence falls between them before Joon speaks up again.
"Do you get where people are taking this?"
"No, quite frankly, I don't."
"Favoritism, like you two are taking advantage of each other for benefits. It's becoming so noticeable that people are talking."
"You and I both know how great of a student she is. If she's received opportunities, it's because she earned them herself, not because of me."
"That's not how it looks. And perception matters. You know this. Relationships like this are literally a ticking time bomb for your career, the bioengineering department." He's gonna use the excuse that Iseul pulled because for him, as department chair, as someone who needs to keep the glue together for this department, it's true.
"I don't even see how we're doing anything wrong when we're both adults. She and I both know what this is—"
"That doesn't matter in this situation. There's a power dynamic here you can't ignore. Even if this is real, you hold her future in your hands. Do you understand?" Joon exhales, brows tightly knit together. "What about her fate in this whole situation? Do you care about that?"
"Of course I do. I care about her more than anything." San responds almost exasperatedly.
"Do you love her?"
"If I say yes?"
"Then, tell me. If you had to choose between your relationship or keeping her here, then what?" San sighs and runs his hand down his face. "Think about it. You deserve to be happy, but that girl also deserves a chance to keep going."
"Why can't we just keep it on the low, why do I have to choose? W-we can be more careful—"
"San, don't be stupid. I'm sure 'being careful' is how this all started, right?" Silence. "You know people are going to find out one way or another. It won't matter how real this is to you, to the both of you. She'll be branded as the professor's pet. Is that what you want for her? And you'll lose everything—your job, your reputation, ability to work at other institutions. Plus, the dean is still thinking about your program with Jongho and the real estate. This is going to trickle onto Jongho, too."
"No, of course not. And I don't want Jongho to take a fall because of me. But.." San sighs, his heart breaking the more this conversation goes on. He wasn't prepared to be here today, no. And he wasn't prepared for his mind to start thinking otherwise about your relationship, you. He was always sure of you, but now he's starting to feel like he's been too selfish;
Neglected you and your future plans. Your dreams, your goals.
"You're asking me to break this off. To break off my relationship with someone I truly care about and someone that genuinely makes me happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time."
"I'm sorry, San. I already told you how difficult this is, and it's not my intention to take your happiness away. I just need to protect you two from everyone, especially the dean. Please understand me and hear me. I'm asking you to protect her this way. If anything happens, it'll be the both of you going down and you know she doesn't deserve that either. "
"And If I don't do this?" San asks just to put the question out there.
"Then, can you call it love? Or is it just you being selfish?" San leans onto his knees, head falling into his hands. "I'm trying to come from a good place. Help me help you." He feels a headache coming on, thoughts running at a thousand miles per hour. He hates the thought of losing you; it makes him sick to his stomach. But, he can't even lie and say there isn't a piece of truth behind Namjoon's words.
Can San really say he loves you if he isn't doing the right thing for you? Is he being too selfish, assuming he could keep this on the low? Assuming he could be 'more' careful with you?
Is he selfish for wanting you by his side no matter what? Is he selfish for saying fuck it?
Is he selfish?
The last thing he wants to do is ruin your career, ruin you. Even if this will hurt like hell, he understands where Namjoon is coming from and knows he needs to put you first.
He's so conflicted. He has no idea what to do or how to move forward. Because as much as he knows he needs to do this for you and the sake of Namjoon, he doesn't want to.
He is scared.
"I need to head back to my office." San sighs and stands, but Namjoon follows closely.
"I don't have much time. I need to let them know that something is gonna be done and I need to prove it to them. You do hear me, right?"
"I do. I just.. give me a little bit of time to think, Joon. Please." Namjoon just nods, meeting San's expression. He feels bad, he really does. And as his friend, this isn't something he wants to do— but he has to. He could easily tell San to keep this on the low, to keep this a secret until things blow over but at some point, he doesn't trust himself to continue along with the story had anyone asked about it out of the blue.
Namjoon watches as San sadly walks off back to his office, eyes trained on the phone in his hand. San sees your texts, and usually, that'll be enough to put a smile on his face. He'll text back right away so you know he's been thinking about you; but today, he's thinking about you in a different light and he's not sure how to stomach it.
When he gets back to his office, he sees a few people from the lab lingering around— even you. You meet his eyes and his eyes meet yours, but he doesn't give you a smile.
His eyes don't glow like they used to.
His cheeks aren't threatening to glow that cute, rosy tint they do when you're around.
He just steps in without doing anything to acknowledge your presence and that already feels way off.
you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.
you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭
san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.
you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?
san: we should talk, baby.
—read 12.5 here
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#ateez#choi san#san x reader#ateez x reader#kpop imagines#kpop#kpop smut#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#ateez angst#ateez fluff#ateez smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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thangyu x fem reader 🙈?
like thanos being into namgyu's gf so he ends up fucking them both or something
one thing led to another
thanos x fem!reader (x nam gyu) (smut)
warning: cheating. (i know the req said “fucking them both” but i just can’t find nam gyu attractive so i couldn’t write smut with him in it so he gets cheated on. sorry)
the famous thanos went to a club. club petangon. he was gonna ask the club promoter to have an event in the club. as soon as he walked in fans went up to him, asking for pictures. he sat down at a booth as fans kept throwing themselves at him and he was being his normal cocky self. but then a specific guy caught his attention. well, not really. the girl that was with the guy caught his attention.
the guy was talking to someone as the girl waited for him, his arm thrown over her shoulder.
thanos looked at the guys name tag- nam gyu. the promoter he was supposed the meet with. but thanos’ attention wasn’t on him. he was looking at her. the girl that was probably nam gyu’s girl. she looked bored as she waited for him, looking around, her eyes met thanos’. he raised his hand and gave her a small wave, as if they already knew each other, she copied the act with a small smile. her movement caught nam gyu’s attention.
his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. he turned to where you were looking, seeing thanos waving back to you. his lips formed into a straight line. he clearly wasn't happy about it. nam gyu pulled away from the conversation and walked over to thanos, still holding you but tighter than before, as if he was showing you were his. not that it mattered to thanos.
once nam gyu came over to him, a smirk spread over his cheeks. this was fun. he saw how tight nam gyu held you now. he was clearly irritated. how nam gyu was "claiming you" was kinda pathetic to thanos.
“hey you’re thanos, right?” you asked before either of them could talk.
his smirk grew wider when you spoke before nam gyu could. he looked at you, chuckling as he heard your question. he nodded as he spoke “yes, yes, I am. and who are you?"
he looked between you and nam gyu, his eyes lingering at you. “she’s my girl. y/n.” nam gyu said before you could answer. he didn’t even turn his gaze away from you when nam gyu talked. seeing how nam gyu answered for you made him chuckle. this was getting funnier.
"y/n? cute name. a cute name for such a cute girl" he stated. you thanked him before sitting down, nam gyu sitting down with you. thanos got to talking about having an event here and how it would be good for both the clubs and his name. even tho he was talking to his eyes were mostly on you, not nam gyu’s.
they exchanged numbers, to talk about the details. nam gyu didn’t like thanos, not when he had eyes for his girl but he was right. it would be good pr. as you three sat, nam gyu’s phone rang and he got up saying he would be back.
as soon as he left thanos pulled you close to him and threw his arm around you. legs touching, faces closer than necessary.
“so…how did you end up with a guy like him? hm?” he asked.
“i came here a lot and we eventually met and one thing led to another.”
"one thing led to another, huh? . interesting" he spoke trough a grin. “he doesn't seem like your type. you seem too good for him" he kept a close eye on nam gyu as you two talked, seeing how more and more angry he was getting.
“he’s not. but we aren’t serious anyway.”
he pulled you even closer, still looking at nam gyu from the corner of his eye,
"not serious? and yet he's getting jealous, and claiming you as his. you sure you two arent serious?"
“to me we aren’t.” you answer teasingly.
being the straightforward man he is he said “and if I were to ask you out? would you accept my offer? since you aren't serious with nam gyu"
a smile crept up on your face, “i’ll think about it.” he liked how you were playing with him. “yeah? make sure you let me know when you decide. i'll be waiting, pretty girl." with that he gave you his number
you sure was going to give him a call.
𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯
it was late at night, nam gyu had called you over but he had to leave because of some trouble at the club so you were left alone in his apartment. sitting and scrolling through your phone, when boredom hit you. and then you remembered thanos. what’s the harm of giving him a call, right?
you waited a couple seconds for him to answer the phone.
“hi. who’s this?” god he had an amazing voice.
“im the girl from the club. y/n. remember me?”
“how could i forget, beautiful. so what do i owe the pleasure?” god that voice.
“im a little bored…nam gyu stood me up. im at his apartment right now and he won’t be back a while” you said whining, “…wanna have a tour?”
𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯𓂃𓍯
having a tour turned into having shared glasses of wine that to lingering touches. one thing led to another. you were soon on his lap, kissing lazily and messily. his hands were on your hips guiding you to grind on his bulge.
“gonna let me fuck you? hm?” he let out between kisses.
“please…need it.” you said as you played with his hair.
“why’s that, baby? doesn’t nam su fuck you good enough? i knew you were too good for him. ‘m gonna fuck you so good, you won’t even remember his name.”
he picked you up and walked towards the bedroom. nam gyu’s bedroom. he laid you down onto the bed gently. nam gyu’s bed. he kissed you with such passion that it made you think you were his girl not nam gyu’s.
he slowly undressed you. kissed down your body, paying extra attention to your breasts.
catching your nipple between his teeth, biting slightly but licking and kissing it away afterwards to soothe the pain away. moving down your body, he kissed your belly, thighs and rubbed his lips over your slit. you grew impatient at his teasing so you gripped his purple hair signaling him to get to work.
he sloppily made out with your pussy, like he was devouring a full course meal after not eating for days. his face was covered with your wetness and dripping with his spit. the mix of wetness ran down thighs he licked it back up, not wanting to waste a drop. he let his teeth graze over the bundle of nerves.
his hands kept your legs open and as his tongue focused on your clit. your back arched from the bed and you bit down harshly on your lip, containing your moans as you came on his tongue.
he licked up everything you gave him, guiding you through your high until your legs shook. as you came down from your high, he lifted his head, lips and chin soaked with your juices. eyes dazed and full of lust. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him up into a steamy kiss that had you tasting yourself.
he played with your sensitive pussy, as it was just devoured by him, as you kissed. you tried to pull away because the sensation was just too much. breathless, you tried to talk but couldn’t say anything.
“oh, baby…can’t talk? was my tongue too good? wait till i have my cock in you, baby.” god he was so cocky. and you loved it.
“i need you, thanos. fuck me.” your eyes met his lust filled ones as you spoke. he was quick to undress and get on top of you again.
slowly, he lined his very hard and leaking cock with your entrance and pressed inside, a groan slipping from his lips as he buried his face in your hair, inhaling you as he filled you up, inch by inch.
“fuuuck- i can barely put the tip in, baby. he had you for himself for so long and couldn’t even stretch you out. such a shame. a beautiful girl like you deserves good dick.”
the stretch of his dick made you see stars. your eyes rolled back as your pussy practically sucked him in. when he finally bottomed out you were out of breath. your legs pulled him just a little closer, the ache beginning to turn into something pleasant. his hips eased back before rocking forward again. oh, fuck, he was so big you swore you could feel his cock twitch in your belly. it felt like you were going to snap in half.
your nails lightly dug into his shoulders as he started to move, his thrusts slow but rough. he gripped your waist tightly, holding you as he used her body, fucking her with determination. you screamed his name, your nails digging into him enough to leave marka. he hissed in pleasure at the slight pain, his eyes falling closed in bliss.
the headboard began to slam against the wall, your moans crescendoing and his groans filling the room. sorry nam gyu’s neighbors…
“imagine if he walked in right now? seeing ‘his girl’ screaming another mans name. in his very own bed.” you couldn’t really grasp on what he was saying, your brain too foggy to understand due to pleasure.
“don’t care. just keep fucking me- feels so good!” your moans and yells covered the sound of nam gyu coming into the apartment. thanos may or may not have heard someone coming in but…
you were close to coming and by the way thanos was throbbing inside you signaled you he was close too. you spasmed around his length with a screamish moan as you came, not hearing the door opening. thanos pumped you full of his cum. his cum and your juices seeped out of you as thanos breathed out at your neck with his body flush against yours, naked bodies intervened. he held you as you both calmed down when you were rudely interrupted by nam gyu’s yelling.
“WHAT THE FUCK-“
#thanos smut#su bong x reader#choi su bong#thanos fanfic#squid game thanos#thanos x reader#squid game fanfiction#squid game smut#thangyu#nam gyu
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Helloooo hehe 🍒
Could you write a pedri fic where perdito and reader are both in college but he’s the popular kind and reader is quiet and almost invisible.
How at first she doesn’t wanna get involved but slowly warms up to him and start dating and her getting welcomed by his family.
Make it angst to fluff like real angst tho.
Whether you write this or not im grateful 💚
You make sense to me
Summary: Being introverted and choosing the background over the spotlight is already hard enough, let alone when the popular guy suddenly takes an interest in you.
Note: Thank you so much for your request! I decided to switch it up a bit and go from fluff to angst and obviously ending in fluff. Hope you like it! 🫶
Reader x Pedri
Genre: fluff/angst
University is a strange place.
It’s a world where people reinvent themselves, the loud get louder, and the quiet, like me, learn to live in the spaces between.
That’s how I’ve survived my first year at university, blending into the background.
I’m not a recluse, but I keep to myself.
I study, I go to class, I read in the corner of the library, and I go home.
No unnecessary interactions. No unnecessary attention.
That is, until he noticed me.
Pedri.
Everyone in our uni knows who he is. He’s that guy, the one with effortless charm, always surrounded by people.
Popular, not just because he’s good at football, but because he’s him. He moves through life with a kind of ease I can’t even imagine.
And yet, for some reason, he keeps looking at me.
I don’t get it. I don’t know what he sees.
At first, I ignore it. I convince myself I’m imagining things. But then, it happens again.
And again.
Until one day, he does more than just look.
It started off small.
"Hey," a voice says, casual but confident.
My highlighter sits on the page.
A thick streak of neon yellow bleeds over a sentence I was trying to mark, but my brain suddenly forgets how to function because someone is talking to me.
Slowly, very slowly, I turn my head.
He’s already sitting beside me, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
A dark hoodie, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, a grin that’s just a little too amused.
His presence feels loud, even though he’s not making any actual noise.
My first instinct? Escape.
My second? Stare.
I do both in rapid succession, my eyes flicking toward the exit, then warily back at him, as if assessing how much of a threat he poses.
He doesn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he does, and just doesn’t care.
"...Hi?" I say, but it comes out more like a question than a greeting.
His grin widens, like this is completely normal.
Like we talk all the time.
“You’re in my psychology class, right?”
I blink at him. That’s what this is about?
I nod once, not trusting my voice, because I don’t know why he’s here, or what he wants, and I hate not knowing things.
He leans back in his chair, completely at ease.
His dark eyes scan the open book in front of me, then flick back up to my face.
“You’re quiet.”
I exhale slowly through my nose. No shit.
I don’t reply.
I just wait. People like him, people who talk first and think later, usually get bored when they don’t get the response they want.
Any second now, he’ll lose interest. Any second now—
"Like, really quiet," he continues, undeterred.
His chin rests on his palm, elbow propped on the table, as if he’s studying me.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say a full sentence.”
I resist the urge to sigh. Or groan. Or bang my head against the table.
Instead, I press my lips together and attempt to salvage my poor, over-highlighted page.
"Maybe because I don’t have anything to say."
He chuckles, low and warm, like I’ve just told some inside joke we both share.
Except we don’t.
“I don’t buy that,” he says.
I glance at him again, this time with actual irritation.
"Why do you care?"
His shoulders lift in an easy shrug, like he hasn’t even considered the question before.
“I don’t know. You’re interesting.”
I actually laugh. A small, startled sound that slips out before I can stop it.
Not because he’s right, but because that has to be the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.
"I’m not interesting," I say, shaking my head.
"You just don’t know me well enough to be bored yet."
His smirk deepens. "See? That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile."
I roll my eyes and refocus on my book.
"Congratulations. You’ve unlocked a new achievement."
He leans forward slightly, like I’ve just confirmed something for him. "So you can be sarcastic. Good to know."
I bite back another sigh. He’s not leaving. He’s settling in.
For a moment, I consider my options.
I could:
A) Ignore him until he gets the hint. B) Pack up my stuff and relocate to another part of the library. C) Say something so cold and blunt that he’ll regret ever sitting here.
I’m still debating when he speaks again.
"You always sit here," he muses.
I glance at him. "What?"
"In the library. Right here. This exact table." He tilts his head, thinking.
"You come in, you pull out your books, you highlight the hell out of your pages, and you don’t talk to anyone."
I stare at him, my pulse kicking up a notch.
"Have you been watching me?"
He shrugs, completely unapologetic. "More like... noticing."
"That’s the same thing."
"Not really," he counters, that lazy smirk still in place.
"Watching is weird. Noticing is just, paying attention."
I frown, my grip tightening on my highlighter.
"Why are you paying attention to me?"
He tilts his head, considering. "I don’t know. Maybe I like mysteries."
I scoff. "I’m not a mystery."
"Debatable."
I shake my head and focus very intently on my book.
But the problem is, I can still feel him there, his gaze lingering, his presence impossible to ignore.
And for the first time in forever, I feel seen.
I hate it.
Pedri doesn’t leave me alone after that.
At first, I tell myself it’s a coincidence.
A fluke.
That first conversation in the library? A one-time thing.
A moment of fleeting curiosity on his part.
But then it happens again. And again. And again.
It starts small.
A casual wave when he spots me across campus.
At first, I ignore it, assuming he’s greeting someone behind me.
But when I glance over my shoulder and see no one there, I realize, he’s waving at me.
I don’t wave back.
But that doesn’t stop him.
The next time, he adds a grin to it. The time after that, he calls my name, loud enough that people turn to look.
(Which, obviously, mortifies me.)
Then, there’s class.
He used to sit on the other side of the room.
I know this because I used to specifically sit where I wouldn’t have to be around too many people.
But one day, Pedri is suddenly there, dropping into the seat next to me like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Like he’s always been there.
I glance at him, suspicious. He just shrugs, pulling out his notebook.
"Better view from here."
I don’t buy that for a second, but I also don’t argue.
And then there are the conversations.
Or, more accurately, the ones he forces me into.
"So, what’s your verdict on our professor? Secretly a vampire, or just really hates sunlight?"
"If you had to survive on only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? And if you say something boring like ‘salad,’ I might actually cry."
"I bet you secretly have a list of people you’d commit crimes for. I respect it."
Some days, I ignore him completely.
Other days, his persistence wears me down, and I give in with a sigh.
"Pasta," I mumble one afternoon.
He blinks. "Huh?"
"If I had to survive on one food. Pasta."
His entire face lights up like I’ve just gifted him something.
"Yes! Solid answer. Now, important follow-up question: are we talking plain pasta, or are you a sauce person?"
I sigh again, but this time, it’s less annoying. Maybe even a little amused.
Just a little.
And that’s how it starts.
I don’t even realize it’s happening at first.
How, little by little, I stop avoiding him.
How my replies stretch from one-word answers to full sentences.
How my body relaxes when he shows up, instead of tensing like I used to.
How I catch myself looking for him in class before he even arrives.
I try to convince myself that it means nothing.
That it’s just habit. That he’s just there, and I’ve gotten used to it.
But habits don’t make my heart skip when I see him across the quad.
Habits don’t make me bite back a smile when he says something stupid.
Habits don’t make my chest ache in ways I don’t know how to handle.
And somehow—without me fully understanding how or when or why, we become friends.
Or something dangerously close to it.
And it terrifies me.
Because Pedri is warmth, and I am used to distance.
Because he is effortless, and I have spent my whole life trying to be untouchable.
Because the more time I spend with him, the more I feel.
And feelings?
Feelings are dangerous.
Then it started with an invitation,
A casual one. Like it’s no big deal.
"Hey, wanna grab lunch with me?"
I glance up from my book, blinking at Pedri like he just asked me to rob a bank with him.
"What?"
"Lunch," he repeats, standing beside my table with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie.
"You know, that thing people eat in the middle of the day?"
I roll my eyes. "I know what lunch is."
"Great. Then let’s go." He gestures toward the door like this is already decided.
I hesitate. "Why?"
"Because we both have to eat, and food is better with company," he says simply.
"And don’t say you weren’t planning to eat, because that would be tragic."
I chew on my bottom lip, searching for an excuse, any excuse, but nothing comes to mind.
Pedri doesn’t give me time to think too hard about it.
He reaches for my bag, lifting it from the table before I can protest.
"Come on," he says, grinning. "I promise not to bite."
I sigh, knowing I’ve already lost.
"Fine," I mumble. "But if this place is loud and crowded, I’m leaving."
He smirks. "Noted."
The restaurant he takes me to is small and tucked away, a quiet little place that somehow doesn’t feel overwhelming.
It’s warm inside, the air rich with the scent of fresh bread and spices.
There’s soft music playing in the background, and to my relief, no overwhelming crowd.
"See?" Pedri says as we step in. "Not too bad, right?"
I nod slowly. "It’s... nice."
He grins, clearly pleased with himself. "Told you I’d pick a good place."
We find a booth by the window, and for the first time, I feel oddly at ease.
We order our food, and somehow, Pedri keeps me engaged in conversation the entire time.
It’s easy. Effortless.
He talks about everything, his classes, his teammates, a hilarious story about how he once fell asleep in the middle of a Zoom lecture and got called out for it.
I laugh before I can stop myself.
He looks ridiculously proud of this accomplishment.
"You like my suffering," he accuses, eyes gleaming.
"I’m just impressed by your ability to sleep through an entire class," I tease.
Pedri gasps dramatically. "So she can joke. This is a breakthrough moment."
I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling.
We eat slowly, the conversation flowing without effort.
And it’s nice. Too nice.
Because for the first time in a long time, I feel something dangerously close to happy.
After lunch, Pedri suggests a walk.
I should say no. I should go back to my dorm, back to my safe space.
But instead, I find myself walking beside him, our steps slow and unhurried.
The campus is quieter now, the afternoon sun casting a golden hue over the trees. It feels peaceful.
We eventually find an empty bench near the park and sit down.
I exhale, tilting my head back slightly to feel the breeze on my skin.
Pedri watches me for a moment before speaking.
"You don’t let a lot of people in, do you?"
I glance at him. "That obvious?"
He shrugs. "I just notice things."
A beat of silence. Then—
"Why?" he asks softly.
I chew on the inside of my cheek. I don’t usually talk about this. I don’t talk about myself at all.
But with Pedri, it feels... safe.
"I like peace," I admit finally. "I like being quiet. Being unnoticed. It’s easier."
Pedri stays silent, waiting. Letting me talk.
I take a breath.
"People... they take up space. They expect things. They need things. And I—" I pause, searching for the right words.
"I don’t know how to be what people need. So I just don’t try. So I won't end up getting hurt."
Pedri listens carefully, nodding like he understands.
I look down at my hands.
"I spent so long blending into the background that I guess I forgot how to be anything else."
Pedri exhales softly. When he speaks, his voice is gentle.
"I get that," he says.
I glance at him, surprised.
He leans back against the bench, gazing up at the sky.
"You know, people always assume I like attention just because I’m popular. Because I’m always around people, always talking."
I nod slightly. He’s right. I did assume that.
"But the truth is," he continues, "I don’t care about any of that."
I frown. "Then why—"
"Why you?" He turns his head to look at me. "Why did I notice you?"
I swallow, my throat suddenly dry.
Pedri smiles, but it’s softer this time. "Because you’re real."
I blink. "What?"
"Everyone else is so... loud," he says.
"Always trying to be something, trying to impress, trying to fit into whatever image they think they need to be."
He shifts slightly, his knee brushing against mine.
"But you? You’re just you," he murmurs. "And that’s rare."
My heart does something weird in my chest. I don’t like it.
Pedri studies my face for a moment, then sighs.
"Look, I know you like being on your own. I know you don’t trust people easily. And I get that. But..." He hesitates, then turns fully toward me.
"Give me a chance," he says.
I inhale sharply. "Pedri—"
"Just a chance," he insists.
"Let me prove to you that I’m not like everyone else. That I don’t just want something from you."
I bite my lip, staring at the ground.
"You scare me," I whisper.
He blinks. "Me?"
I nod. "Not in a bad way. Just... you make me feel things. And I don’t know how to handle that."
Pedri’s gaze softens, and he reaches out, hesitating for a second before lightly brushing his fingers against mine.
"You don’t have to handle it alone," he says gently.
"Let me in. Just a little."
I look at our hands, barely touching, then back at him.
His expression is so open, so earnest, that something in me cracks just a little.
Maybe just a little wouldn’t be so bad.
Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
I take a deep breath. Then, slowly, hesitantly, I nod.
Pedri smiles, squeezing my fingers lightly before pulling away, giving me space.
And for the first time, it doesn’t feel terrifying.
It happens gradually.
One moment, he’s just there, the way he always is, persistent, warm, impossible to ignore.
The next, he’s everywhere.
And suddenly, Pedri is mine.
Which is strange...
If you would've told me I would end up with the most popular guy of my uni, I would've straight up laughed in your face.
But, here we're... I guess.
It’s funny how quickly I get used to him.
To his presence, his warmth, the way he seamlessly fits into my life like he’s always been there.
And maybe it should scare me.
Maybe I should keep my distance, hold onto the walls I spent so long building.
But with Pedri, distance feels... impossible.
Because he refuses to be anything less than close.
It doesn’t take long for people to notice.
Because Pedri isn’t subtle. At all.
If anything, he seems to take genuine delight in shocking people.
Like the time we’re walking across campus, and he suddenly grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
I freeze.
"Pedri—" I start, eyes darting around, but he just squeezes my hand.
"Relax," he murmurs, glancing down at me with a small smile.
"It’s just me."
I exhale slowly. It’s just him.
I tell myself to pull away, but I don’t.
And then I really regret it when I hear a group of students whispering nearby.
"Wait—are they holding hands?"
"No way. Pedri and y/n?"
"How did that even happen?"
I feel my entire face heat up, but Pedri? He doesn’t care at all.
If anything, he likes it.
Because the next day, when we’re sitting together in class, he casually reaches over and plays with my fingers under the desk.
Like it’s a habit.
Like he just wants to touch me.
"Pedri," I hiss quietly, trying to pull my hand away.
He smirks but tightens his grip. "You’re cute when you’re flustered."
I glare at him. "You’re annoying."
"And yet," he hums, "you still let me hold your hand."
Damn it.
Outside of school, it’s even worse.
Because Pedri doesn’t just want to see me in class, he wants to see me all the time.
"Are you free later?" he asks one afternoon.
I glance up from my notes. "Why?"
"Because I wanna see you," he says easily.
I blink. "You see me every day."
He grins. "Yeah, and?"
I sigh but don’t argue. Because, honestly?
I want to see him too.
Some nights, he comes over with zero warning.
Like when I’m sitting on my bed, fully prepared to spend my evening reading, and suddenly—
Knock, knock.
I groan, already knowing who it is.
When I open the door, Pedri is standing there with two cups of hot chocolate and a ridiculously pleased expression.
"You didn’t text me," I say, raising an eyebrow.
"Didn’t think I needed to," he says, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.
I sigh. "What if I was busy?"
He flops onto my bed, looking completely at home. "Then I’d just sit here and wait for you to be un-busy."
I shake my head, but my lips twitch. I hate how much I like this.
One day, we’re supposed to grab lunch, but it starts pouring out of nowhere.
Pedri and I sprint across campus, completely drenched by the time we duck into the nearest café.
I groan, wringing out my hoodie. "Well, this sucks."
Pedri grins, shaking water from his hair like a golden retriever.
"Nah. I kinda like it."
"You like being soaked?" I deadpan.
"No," he chuckles. "I like that it means I get to stay here with you longer."
And damn it, he means it.
I shake my head, trying to ignore the way my heart clenches.
We sit by the window, watching the rain while sharing a plate of fries.
Pedri drapes his hoodie over my shoulders because I’m still shivering, and when I glance at him, he just shrugs.
"What’s mine is yours, princesa."
I roll my eyes, but the warmth in my chest doesn’t go away.
One night, we’re lying on my bed, facing each other in the soft glow of my bedside lamp.
It’s quiet, comfortable.
Pedri reaches out, tracing lazy patterns on my wrist.
"You ever think about what would’ve happened if I never sat next to you that day?" he murmurs.
I blink. "What?"
"In the library," he says. "If I never sat down. If I never talked to you or approached you. What do you think would’ve happened?"
I think about it for a second. "I guess... nothing."
Pedri frowns slightly.
"You wouldn’t have noticed me," I explain. "And I would’ve kept living my life the way I always have."
His grip on my wrist tightens slightly. "That’s a terrible answer."
I laugh softly. "It’s the truth."
"Well, I hate it," he says.
I tilt my head. "Why?"
Pedri exhales.
"Because I can’t imagine my life without you now," he murmurs. "And I don’t want to."
My breath catches.
He’s staring at me with so much emotion, like I’m the most important thing in his universe.
"I meant what I said," he continues softly.
"I don’t care that you’re quiet. I don’t care that you like being in the background. I don’t care that people think we don’t make sense."
His fingers brush against my cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"You make sense to me," he whispers.
I don’t know what to say.
Pedri smiles slightly like he can hear all the things I’m too scared to say.
"You don’t have to say anything," he murmurs.
"Just, promise me you won’t push me away."
I swallow. "Pedri..."
"Please," he breathes. "Just let me love you."
My chest tightens, the weight of his words settling deep inside me.
But instead of answering, I reach for him, fingers threading through his hair as I pull him closer.
His lips meet mine, slow, soft, certain, and in that moment, I know.
I know that Pedri is different.
I know that I’ve already fallen for him.
And for the first time in a long time,
I don’t want to run.
It’s a normal day at school.
Or at least, it should be.
Except nothing is ever normal when you’re dating Pedri.
We’re sitting outside on one of the campus benches, a rare moment of peace in between classes.
I’m trying to eat my lunch, but Pedri, ever the distraction, is making that very difficult.
"You’re not even paying attention to me," he pouts, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Because I’m eating," I say, taking another bite of my sandwich.
"But I’m right here."
"And?"
"And I require attention."
I roll my eyes, but I can’t hide my smile.
Pedri grins, clearly pleased with himself.
He reaches up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, then lets his fingers trail down my arm before entwining our hands together.
"Better," he hums, like this was the missing piece of his day.
I shake my head but squeeze his hand anyway.
For a moment, it’s quiet, and comfortable, like it always is with him.
And then he drops a bombshell.
"So, I was thinking... you should come to my parents’ house this weekend."
I nearly choke on my drink. "Wait—what?"
"To my parents’ house," he repeats easily as if he’s asking me to grab a coffee, not meet his entire family.
"For dinner. Just something casual."
Casual?
Meeting his parents is casual?!
My brain short-circuits.
"Pedri, I—" I pause, exhaling. "That’s... a big step."
He tilts his head, studying me. "Is it?"
"Yes," I say, nodding vigorously.
"I mean, it’s your family. What if they don’t like me?"
Pedri immediately frowns, turning his entire body towards me.
"First of all, there’s literally no way they won’t like you."
I bite my lip, looking down at my hands. "You don’t know that."
"Yes, I do," he says firmly.
"You’re smart, and kind, and funny, and—" He pauses, squeezing my hand.
"And you make me happy. That’s all they need to know."
I feel my heart clench.
Damn him. Damn him and his words that make me weak.
I hesitate for a few more seconds before exhaling. "Okay... I’ll go."
His face lights up, and suddenly, I know I made the right choice.
"Good," he says smugly.
"Because if you said no, I was gonna beg."
I snort. "I would’ve made you suffer a little first."
"That’s mean."
"That’s justice."
Pedri grins, tugging me closer. "I knew I liked you for a reason."
That weekend, I stood in front of my mirror, stressing out.
What do you wear to meet your boyfriend’s parents?
I don’t want to be too formal and look like I’m trying too hard, but I also don’t want to look like I just threw on the first thing I found.
After way too much debating, I settle on something simple yet cute, just enough effort to look put-together.
And right on cue, my phone buzzes.
Pedri: I’m outside <3
I grab my bag, take a deep breath, and head out.
As soon as I open the door, I see him leaning against his car, arms crossed, a lazy grin spreading across his face the moment he sees me.
"Wow," he whistles, giving me an obvious once-over.
I shift on my feet, suddenly self-conscious. "What?"
"You look—" He pauses, stepping closer. "Beautiful."
My face heats up. "Shut up."
"I’m serious," he murmurs, eyes shining.
"My mom’s gonna love you even more now."
I roll my eyes but smile as he opens the car door for me.
As we drive, I feel the nerves creeping in again.
My hands rest stiffly on my lap, and I stare out the window, chewing on my lip.
Pedri notices immediately.
Without a word, he reaches over and takes my hand, intertwining our fingers.
"Breathe, princesa," he murmurs.
I exhale shakily. "I just don’t want to mess this up."
"You won’t."
"How do you know?"
Pedri lifts our joined hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles.
"Because you’re you," he says simply.
And just like that, some of the nerves fade.
As soon as we arrive, Pedri barely has time to knock before the door swings open, revealing his mother.
"Hola, cariño!" she exclaims, pulling Pedri into a tight hug, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.
He laughs, hugging her back. "Hola, mamá."
Then, her eyes land on me.
And suddenly, I forget how to breathe.
"And this must be y/n, the girl I’ve heard so much about," she says warmly, her gaze kind and curious.
I hesitate for a moment before stepping forward, offering a polite smile. "Hi, it’s really nice to meet you."
To my surprise, her face softens even more before she pulls me into a gentle hug.
"Oh, you’re adorable," she murmurs before pulling away.
"Come in, come in."
As we step inside, I glance at Pedri, who is smirking at me like he knew this would happen.
He leans down, whispering, "Told you she’d love you."
I glare at him, nudging him with my elbow, but the warmth in my chest doesn’t fade.
The house is warm and inviting, decorated with framed pictures of Pedri and his family.
Some are from his childhood, others more recent, like his love for football evident in every corner.
I take a moment to glance at one of the shelves, where several of his trophies and awards sit proudly.
"You’re staring, princesa," Pedri teases, nudging my shoulder.
"It’s just weird seeing your entire life displayed like this," I murmur.
Before he can reply, a deep voice cuts through the room.
"So this is the famous girl?"
I turn to see Fernando, Pedri’s older brother, leaning against the doorway with an amused expression.
"The one and only," Pedri says smugly, throwing an arm around my shoulders.
I shoot him a look but manage a polite smile. "It’s nice to meet you."
Fernando nods, eyeing Pedri. "Well, I have to say, I’m impressed. I thought you were just making her up."
I snort, while Pedri glares. "I hate you."
"Love you too, hermano."
His mother shakes her head, laughing. "Boys, enough. Let’s eat."
Dinner is incredible, and not just the food (which is honestly some of the best I’ve ever had).
Pedri’s mom made a full spread, and every bite tastes like it was cooked with love.
"This is amazing," I say, genuinely in awe.
His mom beams. "Thank you, cariño. Eat as much as you want."
"Careful," Fernando jokes. "She’ll try to adopt you if you say that too many times."
Pedri smirks. "Too late. She’s already mine."
I nearly choke on my drink.
His mother laughs while Fernando groans.
"God, you’re embarrassing."
Pedri shrugs, completely unfazed, squeezing my knee under the table.
Throughout the meal, his parents ask me questions, not in an overwhelming way, but enough to show that they’re genuinely interested in getting to know me.
His dad is quieter but still warm, occasionally chiming in with a question or a story about Pedri as a kid.
"Did he tell you he used to cry when he lost board games?" his dad asks, smirking.
I light up. "No, but I love that."
Pedri groans, slumping in his chair. "Why are we exposing me?"
"Because it’s fun," Fernando says, grinning.
I giggle, and Pedri shoots me a betrayed look.
"You’re supposed to be on my side," he mutters.
"I am," I say sweetly. "Just... not right now."
After dinner, I insist on helping with the dishes.
"Oh, no, cariño, you’re a guest," his mother says, waving me off.
"Please," I say, offering a small smile. "I want to help."
She eyes me for a moment before nodding. "Alright. But only because you asked so nicely."
As we stand by the sink, washing plates, she suddenly speaks up.
"You know," she starts, her tone thoughtful, "I wasn’t a fan of the other girls Pedri has dated."
I blink, glancing at her. "Oh?"
She nods, rinsing a dish.
"They only wanted him for his name and popularity. But you... you seem different."
I swallow. "I just like him for who he is."
She smiles softly. "I know. And that’s why I like you."
Something warm blooms in my chest.
"You’re good for him," she continues.
"He’s always been surrounded by people who want something from him. But with you? I see the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you."
She pauses, drying her hands before turning to face me.
"I can tell you care about him."
I nod, my throat feeling tight. "I do. A lot."
She smiles, patting my hand. "Then that’s all I need to know."
As we drive back, Pedri is grinning like an idiot.
"That went amazing," he says, eyes flickering to me.
"It did," I admit.
"See? You worried for nothing."
I sigh. "Yeah, yeah. You were right."
He gasps dramatically. "Wait, say that again?"
"I will never repeat it."
He laughs, reaching over to squeeze my thigh. "I’m proud of you, princesa."
I glance at him. "Why?"
"Because I know this wasn’t easy for you," he says softly.
"But you did it. And my mom loves you. My dad and Fernando too."
I bite my lip. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," he murmurs. "But more importantly, I love you."
My heart stops.
Pedri, realizing what he just said, suddenly tenses.
"Wait—" His eyes widen. "I mean—"
I laugh softly. "It’s okay, Pedri."
He swallows. "I just... I love you, okay? And I don’t care if that scares you. I’m not going anywhere."
I look at him, really look at him, and feel something inside me settle.
I don’t answer right away. Instead, I reach over, lacing my fingers with his.
"Drive, Pedri," I whisper.
He exhales, squeezing my hand. "I’ll wait for you, princesa. However long it takes."
And as we head home, I realize—
I don’t think it’ll take very long at all.
It was another boring uni day. A day full of back-to-back classes.
I’m in the library, stacking my books neatly into my arms, already mentally preparing for my next class.
My mind is quiet, calm, focused on anything but him.
Pedri had texted me this morning, telling me he had early practice and would see me later.
"Have a good day, princesa ❤️ Miss you."
I had smiled when I read it.
I shouldn’t have.
I adjust my grip on the books and turn toward the exit. Then I hear it.
Laughter. Loud voices.
At first, I don’t think anything of it. Until I hear my name.
I stop. My heart stutters.
I tell myself it’s nothing, that maybe I misheard, that maybe it’s just some random conversation.
But then a voice cuts through the noise, A voice I know better than anyone else’s.
His voice.
Pedri.
My stomach twists, my fingers tightening around the books as I take a cautious step forward.
The voices are coming from the hallway just ahead, around the corner.
I shouldn’t listen. I shouldn’t. But I do.
"Bro, you’re actually still with her?" one of his friends cackles.
"I swear I thought this was just a bet or some shit."
Pedri laughs.
That’s the first stab.
"Nah, man. No bet."
"Then what the fuck is it?" someone else scoffs. "There’s no way you’re actually into her."
Pedri lets out a low chuckle. "Come on, man. You really think I’d go for a girl like that?"
A girl like that.
"Exactly," another voice chimes in.
"She’s fucking boring, bro. Always sitting in the back, never talking, just reading like she’s in some old-ass novel or something. You could have literally anyone, why waste time on her?"
"It’s not like that," Pedri says easily. "She’s just… convenient."
The air leaves my lungs.
"Convenient?" one of his friends laughs. "What, like a little charity case?"
Pedri doesn’t deny it.
He fucking laughs.
"Nah, it’s just easy, you know?" he shrugs.
"She doesn’t ask for much. Doesn’t complain. Doesn’t make a big deal out of shit. I don’t have to try too hard."
"So you’re with her because she’s easy?"
Pedri snickers.
"More like… low maintenance. She’s quiet, doesn’t bother me when I’m busy, doesn’t start drama. It’s just chill. I don’t have to worry about her blowing up my phone or expecting too much."
I feel sick.
"Damn, so you’re basically keeping her around for convenience?"
"I mean, yeah," Pedri mutters. "She’s just... there. It’s not that deep."
The laughter erupts around him.
I think I might throw up.
"Fucking knew it," one of them howls. "You had us thinking you were actually in love with her or some shit."
Pedri laughs harder.
"Come on, man. You really think I’d fall for her?"
My heart shatters.
I can’t listen anymore. I can’t.
The pain is too much, the walls around me caving in, my vision blurring with unshed tears.
I need to get out of here.
I don’t know how long I stand there.
Seconds? Minutes?
Everything is a blur.
Their laughter rings in my ears, mocking me, haunting me.
Tears burn at the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.
I won’t let them have that power over me. My body moves on its own. One step.
Then another.
Then I’m walking away.
I don’t care where I’m going.
I just need to get the hell out of there.
I don’t go to my next class. I don’t care about my next class. I walk. Fast.
Away from the library, away from the voices, away from the truth clawing at my chest.
I feel numb.
Like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I’m just walking around with a hollow, empty space inside me.
My phone vibrates in my pocket.
I don’t check it. I don’t need to. It’s him. It has to be. I ignore it.
I ignore the ache in my chest, the sting behind my eyes, the lump in my throat that makes it hard to breathe.
I just keep walking.
By the time I finally return to my dorm, the sky is a deep shade of blue, the sun barely peeking over the horizon.
I close the door behind me, my body exhausted, drained.
And then there’s a knock. I hesitate, my pulse spiking.
I already know who it is.
I take a slow, shaky breath, gripping the door handle before pulling it open.
Pedri stands there.
His brows are furrowed, concern laced into every inch of his face.
"What the hell, Y/N?" he asks immediately. "Why haven’t you been answering me all day?"
I stare at him.
He looks so… confused. Like he has no idea what he did.
That makes me angrier.
"Go away, Pedri."
His eyes widen slightly. "What? No. What’s going on? Did something happen?"
I let out a harsh, bitter laugh. "Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you ask your friends?"
He freezes. And I see it.
I see the exact moment realization hits.
His lips part slightly, but no words come out.
"Yeah," I say, voice shaking. "I heard you. I heard everything."
"Princesa—"
"Don’t." I take a step back. "Just don’t."
His jaw clenches. "I didn’t mean it."
I laugh again, but it hurts.
"Right," I nod. "Because saying I’m just some joke? Saying you’re pretending to like me? That just… accidentally came out of your mouth?"
"It’s not like that," he says quickly, stepping forward. "Please, Y/n. Just let me explain."
"Explain what?" I snap. "That I’m just some quiet, boring idiot who actually believed you cared about me?"
He flinches.
"That’s not true," he says, his voice softer now.
"It doesn’t matter," I whisper.
"It does."
"No, Pedri. It really doesn’t."
I exhale shakily, looking away for a moment before meeting his gaze one last time.
"I can’t do this anymore."
His breath catches. "What?"
"We’re done."
I step back, my hands shaking as I close the door in his face.
For a few seconds, I don’t move.
I don’t breathe.
And then I hear it—
A soft, desperate whisper from the other side of the door.
"Please don’t leave me."
Tears stream down my face.
But I don’t open the door.
And I don’t look back.
The days blur together, a mess of sleepless nights and suffocating thoughts.
I barely eat, barely leave my dorm, barely exist outside of my own mind.
Every time I close my eyes, I hear his voice.
Every time I let my thoughts wander, I remember the way his words sliced through me like a blade.
My phone buzzes constantly, but I ignore it.
At first, I let it ring, let the messages pile up, let his name flash across my screen like a cruel reminder of what happened.
But he doesn’t stop.
"Y/n, please." "At least talk to me." "I need to explain." "I miss you."
Every day, every hour, his messages come in, desperate and persistent.
And every time, I stare at them with tears burning in my eyes, fingers hovering over the screen before I lock my phone and shove it under my pillow.
Then, after a few days, I finally block him.
I expect that to be the end of it.
But Pedri doesn’t give up so easily.
It starts with soft knocks on my door, hesitant at first, then firmer when I don’t answer.+
I stay curled up in bed, biting my lip to keep from crying out in frustration.
Then, when I wake up one morning and open my door, I see flowers.
A bouquet of my favorite ones, left neatly against the doorframe.
The first time, I hesitate.
The second time, I stare at them for a long time before stepping over them.
The third time, I pick them up, hold them in my hands for a moment, and then drop them in the trash.
And yet, the next day, there’s another bouquet.
Every single day, without fail, there’s a new one waiting for me. And every time, I feel my resolve cracking a little bit more.
But I’m not ready.
I don’t even know if I ever will be.
One week later, I finally force myself to go back to school.
I can’t hide forever.
I tell myself I’ve had time to heal, that I’ve built up enough strength to walk these halls without feeling like I’m suffocating under the weight of my own emotions.
That I can handle seeing him again.
But the second I step onto campus, my chest tightens, and my heart pounds against my ribcage like it’s trying to escape.
I keep my head down, moving quickly, avoiding eye contact, avoiding him.
But I can feel it. His presence. His eyes.
I know he’s seen me. I don’t look.
I don’t want to see the desperation in his expression, don’t want to acknowledge the way my stomach twists painfully at the thought of him standing somewhere nearby, watching me, waiting.
I force myself through class, focus on my notes, pretend everything is normal even though nothing is normal anymore.
But later, as I leave my last lecture, I barely take two steps before I feel it—
A hand gently grabbing my wrist, pulling me back.
I freeze.
His touch is familiar, careful, like he’s afraid I’ll run.
"Y/n."
His voice is quiet, raw, holding a plea that makes my throat tighten.
I squeeze my eyes shut for a second before finally turning around, my expression carefully blank.
Pedri stands there, looking at me like I’m the most important thing in the world and he’s terrified he’s already lost me.
"Please," he says softly, his fingers still around my wrist. "Just let me explain."
I exhale slowly, trying to keep my voice steady. "There’s nothing to explain, Pedri."
"Yes, there is," he insists, stepping closer.
His hold on my wrist loosens, but he doesn’t let go completely, like he’s afraid that if he does, I’ll disappear.
"Just give me five minutes. That’s all I’m asking."
I hesitate, my mind screaming at me to walk away. But something in his eyes, something so painfully real, holds me in place.
I sigh, crossing my arms. "Fine. Five minutes."
He pulls me aside to a quieter part of campus, away from the crowd, away from prying eyes.
I stand stiffly, my arms still crossed, my body tense like I’m ready to run at any second.
"I never meant what I said," he starts immediately. "I swear to you, Y/n. I didn’t mean a single fucking word of it."
I let out a hollow laugh. "Right. You just happened to say all those things for fun? Just to impress your asshole friends?"
"No," he says quickly, shaking his head. "It wasn’t for fun. It was to protect you."
I blink. "Excuse me?"
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair.
"Those guys? They’re not my friends. They never were. But they have a way of making people’s lives hell. I knew that if I admitted how much I cared about you, they’d go after you. Mock you. Make your life miserable. I thought if I played it off, if I made it seem like I didn’t care, they’d lose interest and leave you alone. Trust me Y/n iy happened before and it had gotten really ugly. I didn't want that to happen to the person I love."
I stare at him, my heart pounding in my chest. "You really think that justifies what you said?"
"No," he admits, his voice softer. "It doesn’t. I was an idiot. I should’ve told you. I should’ve trusted you to understand. But I swear to you, Y/n, I would never actually think those things about you."
"Be a fucking man Pedri and instead of doing this shit stand up for the person you supposedly love. You're nothing but a pussy."
I swallow, my emotions warring inside me. I don’t know what to feel.
So I leave. Again.
Later that day,
It all happens too quickly.
One moment, I’m walking across campus, lost in my own thoughts, and the next, there’s chaos.
A crowd gathers around a scene near the student quad. Loud shouts and yells fill the air.
My heart skips a beat as I push through the mass of students, trying to catch a glimpse of what’s going on.
I’m not expecting to see what I do.
There’s Pedri.
His fists are flying, and the guy he’s fighting, the asshole, is holding his jaw, clearly stunned.
But Pedri doesn’t stop. He throws another punch, fury in his eyes. I see the red in his face, the anger, and it’s not just at the guy. It’s everything. The hurt. The frustration.
The last few weeks have been hell for both of us, but in this moment, it’s all coming out.
His fists are like his words, punching through everything that’s built up, everything that’s been left unsaid.
But I can’t watch it anymore. I’ve seen enough violence in my life to know when things are about to spiral.
“Pedri! Stop!” I shout, pushing through the crowd to grab his arm, pulling him back.
He jerks his head towards me, his expression wild, eyes wide with a mix of rage and confusion.
I hold onto his arm tightly, trying to calm him down.
I don’t know why I’m even doing this for him, but it’s like I’m drawn to him, like I can’t just walk away.
His chest rises and falls rapidly, but slowly, the fight drains out of him as he looks into my eyes.
His breath is ragged, and his hands are clenched into tight fists, knuckles covered in blood.
“Are you stupid?” I mutter, my hands trembling slightly as I grab his arm and pull him away from the scene.
The crowd disperses, some murmuring, others filming with their phones.
Pedri doesn't fight me.
He lets me drag him away, and somehow, I find myself leading him into the first-aid room, a small quiet space where the tension in my chest can finally loosen, even if just a little.
I shove him onto the chair and kneel down, rummaging through the first aid kit.
“Why do you do this?” I ask, my voice shaking. I try to stay calm, but my hands are shaking as I pull out the bandages.
I clean his bloody knuckles carefully, avoiding looking at him too much. I can’t let myself soften. Not yet.
He sighs deeply, his voice low, raw. “He was talking shit about you again. That guy, he just won’t leave you alone. I had to make it stop.”
My heart sinks, and I bite my lip hard. I don’t know how to feel. My stomach churns.
Why did he feel the need to fight again? Why did he let it get this far?
“But why do you keep doing this?” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
"I... I don’t understand, Pedri. You say you care, but you keep pushing me away in the worst ways possible."
Pedri doesn’t answer right away. He stares at me for a long moment, his brow furrowed as though he’s considering every word carefully.
I can see the guilt in his eyes, the regret, the desperation. He wants me to understand. He needs me to.
“I—” He hesitates, his voice cracking slightly.
“I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel like you were a joke. I thought... I thought I was protecting you, Y/n. From people who wouldn’t appreciate you the way I do. Those guys... They’ll never understand how much you mean to me. But they will hurt you if they think you matter to me."
I’m speechless, blinking at him. There’s a part of me that wants to scream, to tell him he’s full of shit, but the truth in his eyes catches me off guard.
He’s being real, and it’s so hard for me to reconcile that with the image of the guy I heard talking shit about me, degrading me, the guy I’ve been blocking out of my life for a week.
“You should’ve told me that before, Pedri.” I swallow hard.
My voice trembles with the weight of everything.
“Instead of... doing that. I don’t understand why you had to hurt me first.”
He doesn’t look away. He looks... guilty.
“I didn’t know how to explain. I didn’t want you to think I was using you as some kind of... shield or something. But I wasn’t. I swear, I wasn’t.”
His eyes soften as he gently reaches for my hand, his touch so careful now, like I might shatter at any second.
I pull away, feeling the heat of his gaze burn into me.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you yet, Pedri,” I whisper, my voice barely a breath.
“You hurt me too much. And... I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel anymore.”
He nods, his lips pressing together in frustration. “I’ll do anything to make it right. I don’t care what it takes.”
I turn away, my heart heavy, my thoughts too tangled to untangle.
It’s not so simple anymore. I don’t know if it ever will be.
I walk away, feeling like a piece of me is being pulled in two different directions.
The days that follow are both long and quiet. The silence between Pedri and me feels deafening, like an invisible wall built higher with every moment.
He’s not giving up on me, though. Not even close.
It’s hard for me to stay distant. Hard for me to ignore him.
But it feels like I have no other choice. Every time I open my phone, I see his name.
Every time I hear a knock on my dorm door, I know it’s him. But I don’t answer. I won’t.
Still, something is different now. I notice his absence more than I expect.
The void he left in my life isn’t easy to fill. His quiet persistence is eating at me, but I won’t let it show. Not yet.
Pedri, however, doesn’t stop. He doesn’t let up.
At first, it’s small gestures. One morning, I find a handwritten note slipped under my door.
Just his name at the bottom, a few simple words.
“I’m sorry. Please give me a chance to prove I’m worth it.”
It’s the first time I’ve seen him so vulnerable. He’s always been confident, cocky even.
But this? This is different. I can feel the weight of his apology in the paper, and I fold it carefully, slipping it into my pocket.
Then, the flowers start.
He leaves them outside my dorm door every evening, sometimes daisies, sometimes sunflowers, always with a small note attached that says the same thing, “I’m sorry. Let me make it right.”
I feel the pull to just let him back in, but I resist. I’m not ready. I’m still broken.
Days go by, and I finally decide to leave my dorm to go to class. I walk through campus, trying to focus on the routine, trying to shut out everything else.
But I can’t. Pedri’s presence is everywhere.
I see him talking to the guys he used to hang out with, but now he’s different. He’s distant. Not laughing. Not joking around.
I can see it in the way he avoids eye contact, the way he doesn’t engage with them anymore.
His posture is closed off, like he’s shutting something down. I don’t know what it means, but something stirs in me.
Maybe it’s guilt, maybe it’s hope.
That’s when I notice it, his transformation.
Pedri has made a point to distance himself from the very people who encouraged him to hurt me.
He doesn’t hang out with those friends anymore. The ones who always made fun of me, belittled me, and tried to convince him I wasn’t “good enough.”
The ones who laughed at my expense and pushed him to do the same.
He’s even going out of his way to take different routes on campus, avoiding his old crew altogether.
It’s subtle at first, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. He’s proving to me, in the smallest ways, that he’s changing.
That he’s fighting for something that matters more than his pride.
One day, I’m walking to class when I hear footsteps behind me. A familiar voice calls my name.
“Y/n.”
I don’t turn around, pretending like I didn’t hear him.
He’s been trying to talk to me for days, but every time I shut him down. It’s easier that way.
It’s safer.
But then, he’s right beside me, his presence undeniable.
“Please, just let me explain,” Pedri says, his voice low. There’s a softness in it now, no trace of arrogance. Just sincerity.
I finally stop, reluctantly meeting his eyes. He’s standing there, his expression full of regret, but something else, too, determination.
“I’m listening,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
“I... I’ve been thinking about everything,” he starts, hesitating, as if searching for the right words.
“I was an idiot, Y/n. I should’ve never listened to them, and I should’ve never pushed you away like I did. I wasn’t protecting you. I was just being selfish. And I never should’ve treated you like you were second best. I was wrong. I’m so sorry.”
His words hit me hard, and I want to yell at him. To tell him that his apology doesn’t fix anything.
But the truth is, he’s right. He was selfish. And I was hurt.
But there’s something about him, something in the way he’s looking at me now, that makes me wonder if he really means it.
“I don’t know, Pedri,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
“You say you’re sorry, but it doesn’t undo everything. It doesn’t fix what you said or what you did.”
“I know,” he replies quickly.
“And I’m not asking for you to forgive me right away. I’m asking for a chance to show you that I can do better. That I can be the person you deserve. But I need you to trust me. I need you to let me prove it.”
For a moment, we stand there in silence, my mind racing with all the things I’m still unsure about.
But then I notice it, the genuine effort in his eyes, the sincerity in his voice. He’s not just saying the right things.
He’s living it.
“I’ll prove it to you every day,” he says, his voice firm.
“I’ve already cut ties with the guys who put you down. I don’t need people like that in my life. They can think whatever they want, but you? You matter. You always have. I’ll prove that to you, Y/n. I swear.”
I swallow hard, his words breaking through my walls. I want to stay angry.
I want to stay hurt. But everything in me is telling me that maybe, just maybe, he’s worth another chance.
“I don’t know if I can trust you yet,” I whisper.
“But... I’ll try. Slowly.”
Pedri’s eyes light up, and for the first time in weeks, I see a glimpse of the boy I used to know.
“That’s all I need. Just a chance.”
From that day on, I watch him like a hawk.
Pedri is relentless. He’s not just sending flowers or leaving notes anymore, he’s putting in real effort.
He spends his free time sitting with me in the library, helping me with schoolwork, never pushing for anything more.
Every time I see him talking to his old friends, he’s distant, his back turned, never engaging with the people who once made him feel like he was better than me.
He’s proving to me, with every small action, that he’s serious.
One day, as we sit in the park near campus, he looks at me quietly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup.
“I know it’s not enough,” he says softly,
“but I hope one day you’ll look at me and see someone who actually cares. Someone who will fight for you, no matter what.”
I look at him then, really look at him, and for the first time in a long while, I believe it.
He’s not perfect. He might have messed up. But he’s doing everything he can to make it right.
“Okay,” I whisper, my heart beating faster. “I’ll let you try.”
And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough for now.
A few months later,
the tension between Pedri and me starts to ease. He’s patient, more so than I’ve ever seen him.
And with every day that passes, he seems to be putting more and more effort into proving that he’s not just saying the words.
He’s showing it.
But there’s something else. Something I can’t quite put my finger on.
Pedri hasn’t stopped trying to make things right, and it’s clear he’s not giving up on us.
It’s not just the grand gestures anymore, but the small, thoughtful ones, like leaving me my favorite coffee in the library, or texting me random jokes in the middle of the day to make me smile. (bare minimum fr)
And when I finally start to look at him again, I can see it. There’s real change in him.
And so, when he asks if I’ll go out with him on a date, I don’t say no.
But I don’t expect what happens next.
It’s a Saturday evening, and Pedri messages me earlier in the day, asking me to meet him at 6 PM sharp.
When I arrive at the spot he texted me, the park near campus, I’m greeted with something that takes my breath away.
There, in front of me, is a blanket spread out on the grass. The soft glow of fairy lights surrounds the area, strung between trees, creating a romantic little nook in the middle of the park.
On the blanket, there’s a picnic basket, candles, and even my favorite flowers, lilies, pink and white, arranged in a vase.
It’s not what I expected from him. At all.
Pedri stands beside it all, hands in his pockets, looking nervous as hell.
His eyes light up when he sees me, and for the first time in ages, I see a boy who’s trying harder than anyone ever has to make me feel special.
“Y/n,” he says, his voice shaky but hopeful.
“I know I’ve messed up. But I wanted to show you... that I’m serious about this. About us.”
I stand there for a moment, blinking at the effort he’s put into this.
The last time we were together like this, things were so different.
It feels like we’ve both come a long way.
“Are you serious?” I ask, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips.
“I’ve never seen you do anything like this before.”
“I know,” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“But you deserve something better than what I gave you. You deserve to feel appreciated. And not just with words, but with actions. I know this isn’t enough, but... I hope it’s a start.”
I can’t help but smile, my heart beating a little faster as I walk over to him.
“I think it’s a perfect start, Pedri.”
He grins, relief flooding his features.
“I’m glad. I thought I might’ve messed it up with the flowers and all that.”
“Honestly? It’s the most effort anyone’s ever put into a date for me,”
I admit, my voice soft, but sincere.
Pedri chuckles, and his eyes soften.
“Well, then I guess I’m doing something right.”
We sit down on the blanket, and the evening goes from awkward to comfortable, and then, as the conversation flows, it becomes something even more.
We talk about everything, the past, the mistakes, the ways we’ve grown.
We laugh about stupid stuff, and he even admits to being terrible at making dinner (something I’d suspected from the start, but now it’s confirmed).
He makes a joke about how he can barely toast bread without burning it, and I can’t help but laugh.
“I’ll cook for you sometime,” he says with a playful grin. “And you can judge my terrible cooking skills.”
“Sounds like a challenge,” I tease, nudging him with my elbow. “But sure. I’ll take you up on that.”
We settle into a comfortable silence for a while, just listening to the sound of the wind rustling through the trees.
It feels... nice. Simple. And yet, it’s everything I’ve been wanting. I can feel the trust building again, piece by piece.
“Y/n,” he says quietly after a long pause, turning to face me.
“I know I messed up. But I need you to know that I would do anything to make things right. I’ll spend every day proving to you that you’re the one I want, the one I need.”
I look into his eyes, eyes full of sincerity, full of hope, and for the first time in a long while, I believe him.
“Okay,” I whisper, my heart thudding in my chest. “I’ll give you that chance.”
Pedri’s eyes widen, and a grin spreads across his face so fast it takes me by surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I say with a playful smile. “But only if you promise to keep the flowers coming.”
He laughs, his face lighting up like I’ve just given him the biggest gift in the world.
“Done. I’ll keep the flowers and the dates coming. Just don’t leave me again, okay?”
I laugh softly, nudging him again. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”
“And you’re lucky I’m good at dates,” he grins, leaning in close, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper.
“Otherwise, I’d be in serious trouble.”
“Oh, you’re already in serious trouble,” I tease back, rolling my eyes.
“But I guess I’ll give you another chance. For now.”
Pedri leans back, throwing his arms around me in a mock dramatic fashion.
“I’ll make the most of it, I promise! I’ll win you over... one bad joke at a time.”
I can’t help but laugh as I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine.
It’s easy now. It’s natural.
“I’ll hold you to that, Pedri,” I say softly, closing my eyes for a moment.
And for the first time in months, everything feels right again.
The end
#football imagine#pedri x reader#pedri imagine#pedri fluff#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri x y/n#pedri x you#pedri angst#pedri gonzalez#football x reader#football fanfic#fc barcelona x reader#barcelona x reader#barca x reader
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Hey p here!!! 👋🏻 Just as we talk, I want a fic about Toto Wolff x wife reader who always healthy/happy go lucky person and suddenly she's ill. You can't decide what it is. Include there drivers/anyone in the sports reaction. Like they're trying to help her, watching out for her. She's their friend/mother figure, of course they're worried. But being her, she just deals with humour even though she's sick. And can you include Jack? That boy has my heart. Even though this must be heartbreaking for him at such a young age, I think it's time for some angst, gut wrenching story that traumatize us all😃 And lastly how everyone cope with it. Add anything you want to. Thanks!!! :))) Appreciate it❤️❤️
With prompts:
1) "After all this time?” “Yes. I still do"
2) "My sweet and brave little munchkin."
3) "Tick tock, the clock is ticking"
4) "I thought we had more time"
Slipping through my fingers
there are moments in life that define everything, moments that still your world to a complete standstill people often assume that these moments are of joy or happiness. unfortunately for toto his moments caught a rotten streak and his world was never going to be the same ever again.
the day toto met her was a day full of surprises for both of them.
y/n had just recently made the decision to switch up her major from nursing towards mass media and journalism. it was a switch that raised a lot of eyebrows and concern from her family yet they supported her nonetheless, everyone knew how talented she was and knew she’d get a job eventually. What they didn’t know was along with the job she’d catch the attention of a rather tall man.
toto was having a rather eventful day, both of his star drivers had crashed into each other on lap one giving his arch nemesis horner his day in the sun with his prodigy max verstappen winning the race only to rub salt in his raw open wounds. he should have signed him instead of nico toto thought as he stomped through the media pen only to be bombared with around a hundred reporters eagerly waiting to see if the team principal was going to have another one of his infamous anger blowouts. alas to them a young female reporters questions had caught the interest of Toto.
Her question was clear cut no glazing no unnecessary flattery to grab his attention, all she’d ask him was if he’s going to fire someone on the pit wall for the strategies today. it was a bold question not one that reportes like to use since it ends up in court cases but she really didn’t care. It was her first few races and she wanted to make a name for herself and boy did she.
Toto’s response was curt and dismissive but she didn’t budge one bit, she was persistent and that caught Toto’s attention.
ladies and gentlemen this was the first moment in Toto’s life that had stopped the world for him.
the moment he looked into her eyes he felt everything was irrelevant. He didn’t care that both silver arrows were a pile of silver dust all that was captivating to him was the brown tinge in her hazel eyes. toto wanted to stare into them forever, and perhaps god was smiling straight down on them and decided to seal both their fates together.
and so it started.
their infamous courtship.
Now for a team principal speaking to people was almost second nature but when it came to her toto was a blubbering mess always leaving the conversation wanting to speak more, it was rather funny towards the other team principals. he was acting like a teenager with his first crush.
things weren’t all that easy for her too, each interaction with toto outside of business had her craving him more and more, she chuckled at his faint attempts to woo her and get her lunches. she too had a crush on him and it was only getting stronger.
the turning point in their relationship was the after party at the Abu Dhabi Grabd Prix, the long season was finally over and the celebrations had started. Toto had eagerly invited her and was hoping praying dying to see her come, unfortunately he wasn’t the only one who was waiting to see her, amongst his infatuation toto was as blind to how interested zak brown had also become towards her. he wasn’t often caught staring at her in places no man’s eyes had entitlement to. things were starting to get creepy but none of our two lovebirds had figured that out.
the party was in full swing when she had decided to show up, wrapping up her tasks with sky sports made her rather late but the look in Toto’s eyes when he had saw her was everything she had hoped and wanted. The man looked starstruck it was insane how whipped he was for her and they weren’t even together.
a couple of drinks and close dances later when she had excused herself to go to the ladies room was when calamity hit.
zak had his dirty gazes set on her ever since she had shown up, he knew toto wasn’t on guard whenever she was there and knew it was his time to try and get handsy with her.
right after walking out of the ladies room she was dragged into a corner and that’s when she felt small fat and stubby fingers trying to touch her. it felt humiliating disgusting and frankly made her want to bleach her skin. right before zak could cover her mouth and start with his actual plan she screamed as hard as she could hoping to get anyone’s attention oh how she regretted not taking up Toto’s offer to walk her to the restroom.
toto had wondered where she had ended up disappearing, was he being too much did she need a break from him?? he was overthinking when he heard her cries for help and in a second all the alcohol in his system had vanished. He leaped towards her cries and the scene startled him to his core, in a second zak was off her and his disgusting touch was replaced with the warm calm caressing of toto a man she was familiar with someone she knew.
the entire night was ruined in a split second, it wasn’t until toto had zak in a head lock that she’d regained her senses, seeing him so worked up over protecting her name and honour made her do what she did next.
the second toto was close by she kissed him, full on kissed him. it wasn’t short or messy it was full of reassurance of promise and of new beginnings.
that’s how the two souls collided.
oh and zak was given not one but multiple fractures and a hefty legal case to fight, toto didn’t play when it came to the ones who he loved.
the new couple relationship caused frenzy all over the internet and the paddock, no one really expected them to be a couple it didn’t make sense, out of everyone why did toto choose a journalist? Didn’t he know if they break up his whole life would be plastered onto the news.
Headlines like these made both of them chuckle, neither of them seeming to care, they were just happy to be with each other against all odds.
throughout the course of their relationship there were times where y/n had become sick, it often worried toto seeing how easily the common cold for her could become much serious, she always brushed his concerns away. it wasn’t until much later into their relationship when toto started noticing more and more health concerns for his now fiancé.
the proposal had taken place in Iceland she’d always loved it there especially the black sand beach and how beautifully it contrasted against the bright white snow, often times she’d dreamed of going there and toto made it a reality for them. she later joked that the beach and the snow represented each of them perfectly, Toto being the dark black beach that only softens in appearance in front of the snow. he’d got down on one knee at that exact spot uttering words of love and honesty. they had their vows at the exact same place. some things don’t change.
it was now 3 years into their marriage, toto had settled down and wasn’t all angry and violent like he used to be (ask the poor abused headsets) he was much calmer and level headed, that’s what happens when you marry the love of your life. he knew not to piss his wife off or worry her after all she was carrying his baby.
the pregnancy test was taken after she had thrown up half her body weight, toto wasn’t around he infact was in austria for the Grand Prix, she had excused herself from it with dumb excuses, Toto ever the gentleman knew not to push it and let her have some space.
In a matter of seconds their world’s axis shifted.
the pregnancy test came as a positive surprise, neither of them had discussed having children but they weren’t against the idea, when toto came back to his wife pale and heaving beside the toilet he knew what was going on, he whisked her off her feet and kissed her so strongly that you might think the man was off to war.
her pregnancy came with a price thou, a huge price for her to pay. y/n was anaemic her body didn’t have enough red blood cells and that’s why she could faint at the drop of a hat.
the couple had been shopping during the off season for the arrival of their little baby, unfortunately fans and paparazzi got a hold of their location resulting in a rather ugly swarm of cameras and people. the noise alone alerted Toto that their quiet evening had come to an end, in a rush to protect his wife and unborn child Toto’s steps where hastened and elongated, unfortunately his wife simply couldn’t keep up and fell victim to one of her fainting spells the camera and the noises alongside the amount of people did nothing to help her and so she collapsed.
the faint thud would haunt Toto forever, his whole world crumbled when he heard it, instantly he rushed towards her only to find her knocked out cold, the rush to the hospital has been the longest wait of his life.
he swore then and there that he wouldn’t ever put her or their child in such a situation.
luckily both mother and baby were okay, when they got home later that night she had fallen asleep unknown to the storm that was brewing within her husband.
Toto wasn’t a very emotionally available man, he preferred to deal with his emotions privately or not at all if possible but ever since meeting her he’s been more open towards showing love and care but the one thing he won’t show is fear.
Torger Christian Wolff was afraid.
he’d been having these vivid dreams of his wife dying and leaving him and their six year old son alone forever, it’s been haunting him ever since her fall.
#f1 imagine#f1 scenario#f1 x reader#formula one#angsty toto wolff#toto wolff x wife reader#toto wolff x y/n#toto wolff fic#toto wolff fanfic#toto#toto wolff x reader#formual one#forumla 1#fanfic#fandom#formula one imagine#imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fandom#angsty#hurt/comfort#toto wolff#writers on tumblr#writing#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1 fic#f1 fiction#f1
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you appear to draw isaac and gerard as being very physically close. cuddly even (:3c), and i want to learn more about this specific aspect because its so cute.. were they always like that? did they have to build up a lot of trust in each other first? how do they see and engage with touch? are/were they ever touch starved?
Drawing a made for the ask lalalala
First of all, thanks for the question! <3
In Gerard's case he used to touch Isaac's hands for example or shoulders to basically indicate he was safe with him and also try to communicate he wanted something more than a friendship with him when they were starting to know each other. I feel like even tho Gerard doesn't consider he's romantic himself in a traditional way i feel he actually is-- (Like when Susana Gimenez asked Charly Garcia if he was romantic and he said yes and Susana asked him "really? You like a dinner, with roses and candles??" And he said "i said im romantic, not stupid" lmao) He calls bitch pet names and cute things even tho she's always abusive towards him, he still tries, so imagine how much freedom could he have with someone like Isaac, a guy that has an anxious attachedment style. I feel he is the way he is in the game as a way of self defense, a way for him to cope with all the shit he has to go through all the time xD so he can't show much emotion or tries to hide it with humor, but in Isaac's world, this paradise isn't so bad, it's more,,, realistic. He doesn't have the constant need to hide his needs in a relationship like he used to (Well, only in private since ... its the 90s-2000s, duh). Gerard started to be more expressive with his physical touch towards Isaac as went time on, cuz of isaac's delusions of people being infected or sinful (this last one mostly because of his alters, for example, Demon) and also so Isaac could have time to process his own feelings, being someone who tries/tried to be a devoted christian this relationship felt wrong in all senses, it took him some time to accept he indeed liked him. Isaac isn't someone who would be nagging you on the streets is he saw you in, for example, a gay relationship, he's ignorant mostly, he doesn't have evil intentions (he also uses this ignorant/innocent view as a way to cope with his own emotions towards man).
While in Isaac's case, once he accepted it/half accepted it started to do your typical couple stuff, only in private, he gets mad when Gerard holds his hand on public and even tho this bothers Gerard a little bit he just can't complain, he understands but also well... his wife was much worst than this. Isaac feels safe cuddling with him, he feels like nothing wrong can happend when he's around (even tho Gerard's bad luck follows him everywhere lol), sometimes when he's having strong episodes because of his delusion it feels like he and him are the only non infected. Isaac has BPD so touch and words mean a lot to him even tho he isn't the best showing his love in a conventional way + he's non verbal for most of the time, it's like they both have two different types of autism lol
I think that's all i have to say about this at least for now, i'm still working on the ship but these types of questions really help me to understand and think of ways to improve it, thanks a lot for the question once again, i'm glad people are interested in knowing about my au/ship.
The song i used as lyrics for the drawing (i love this Tribute so much, please go check it out):
youtube
#my art#fanart#digital art#small artist#tumblr artists#postal#postal 1997#postal 2#postal 1#postal fanart#postal art#postal 1 dude#postal 2 dude#postal dude#p1#p2#p1 x p2#dudecest#art#illustration#old man yaoi#rws#postal hc#p12#hc
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single dad!vinnie and readers first date !
after the coffee shop incident, vinnie found himself thinking about you a lot, more than he’d like to admit. the two of you ended up running into each other again a few days after that.
vinnie wasn’t one to think much about fate, he honestly never really believed in it. when he saw you again though, he knew it wasn’t just a coincidence.
the two of you talked for a bit before vinnie finally got the courage to ask for your number. once you gave it to him, he had mentioned something about a date.
you thought he was just joking around with you, you had gotten the idea he didn’t really want anything serious anyways.
once vinnie had put his son to bed, however, he was up until late hours of the night texting you. getting to know you, what hobbies you’re interested in, what you do for a living, any question he could ask.
he finally brought up the date again, asking if you were free on the upcoming friday night. you were, and even if you weren’t, you’d find a way to go out.
vinnie couldn’t help but smile ear to ear when you had said you were available. he was ecstatic, practically counting down the days until it was time for the date.
once saturday rolled around, he texted you right after he got jj ready for the day. he asked if you were still up for it, which of course you said yes.
he let you know he’d pick you up around seven, not wanting to be too early, but also not wanting to be too late either.
all throughout the day both of you could only think about the night ahead. never had you thought you’d agree to a date with some guy you just met at a coffee shop.
seven pm finally came and vinnie was right outside your house. he texted you saying he was there and you quickly made your way out to his car.
“hey.” you smile as you get in the car. buckling your seatbelt, you put your purse on the floor beside your feet.
vinnie glanced at you for a moment, taking in your appearance. you wore a long black dress that he thought looked absolutely beautiful on you.
“hey,” he says, giving you a smile in return. “you look beautiful.”
blushing, you reply, “thank you.” shyly. vinnie thought it was the cutest thing.
after making sure you were ready to go, vinnie put the car in drive and the two of you were off to the restaurant.
on the way, he made small conversation — or tried to. he couldn’t help the fact he was nervous. he hadn’t been on a date since before jj was even born, so it’s definitely been a minute.
once the two of you made it to the restaurant, vinnie put the car in park and got out. he rounded the car and opened your door for you, smiling as he held out his hand for you to take.
with a thank you, you took his hand and the two of you walked into the restaurant.
once seated, the two of you talked for a minute before ordering drinks and then food. you noticed vinnie eyeing you every time you’d look away. you almost caught him a couple times as he did.
“so,” you say after taking a sip of your drink. “how long have you lived in LA?” you ask.
vinnie finishes sipping his drink before he says, “since i was eighteen.”
you nod, vinnie can tell you were probably doing math in your head about how long he was in a new city before becoming a father.
but in reality, that wasn’t what you were thinking at all. you watch vinnie sigh, he opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.
“i’m not thinking what you think i am,” you tell him. “stop judging yourself, vinnie.” your tone isn’t stern, he knows you’re not upset, just giving him the self esteem he needs.
he nods his head, sipping his drink. this date isn’t to talk about his son, it’s to get to you and for him to get to know you.
the night continues with smiles and laughs, getting to know each other more and more as the night goes on.
vinnie learned you were into drawing and dabbling in some creative writing. while as you learned that when vinnie has down time, he loves to play video games and practice guitar.
you watch him talk, watch how his hands move and mouth twitches up into a smile when he talks about interests he loves.
“you in college or anything?” vinnie then asks, making you smile and nod.
you put your drink down before answering. “UCLA, coincidentally for creative writing. but i got a few other electives and classes to branch out on.” you explain.
vinnie nods with a smile. “that’s cool, you like it?” he asks.
you hum. “love it,” you smile. “in my last year, just have to figure out a career now.”
vinnie chuckles softly. he takes a sip of his drink again. the two of you continue talking, learning more and more about each other and your lifestyles, along with interests and hobbies.
before the two of you know it, it’s nearing ten pm. vinnie checks his phone and sees a few missed texts from his mom and dad.
“it’s already ten?” you chuckle with a smile. “shit, time does fly when you’re having fun.”
vinnie smiles, feeling relieved at the fact you had fun with him tonight. the two of you pack up your things and he pays the bill before you heard back to his car.
he drives you back to your place, walking you up to your door to say goodnight. as he stands there, the urge to kiss you grows, but he doesn’t want to overstep not only your boundaries, but his own too.
so, he settles on kissing your cheek, caressing the spot he had planted his lips on for a moment. you lean into his touch and smile.
“thank you for tonight, vinnie,” you tell him. “i had a lot of fun, we should do this again.” you smile.
vinnie let’s go of your cheek, putting his arm to the side. “yeah, i had fun. definitely should do it again.” he tells you.
the two of you say goodnight and he gets back in his car and drives home. once he’s settled in bed, he tells you he got home safe and talks to you just a little bit longer before deciding to really call it a night.
as he closes his eyes and starts to drift off to sleep, that’s when he realizes that maybe dating isn’t all that bad.
#vhackerr#vincent hacker#vvhacker#vinniehacker#vinnie hacker smut#vinniehackerfanfic#vinnie hacker blurb#vinnie hacker fluff#vinnie hacker imagines#dad!vinnieau#dad!vinnie#vinnie hacker#vinnie x reader#vinnie x y/n
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Some more DA:TV and related snippets from Sylvia Feketekuty, Part 6. rest of post under a cut due to length and spoilers. [Post One, Post Two, Post Three, Post Four, Post Five]
User: "after [Emmrich and Rook's] argument they don’t really bring it up again, is it pretty much the case that Rook being lost in the fade made them both realise what was important so that conversation wasn’t really needed? or did they have it off-screen?" // Sylvia Feketekuty: ""is it pretty much the case that Rook being lost in the fade made them both realise what was important so that conversation wasn’t really needed? or did they have it off-screen?" I think either one is valid. There's some time skips, so I figured if you imagined your Rook and Emmrich talking about the argument, it could've happened while, say, they're traveling to the Necropolis. Flow-wise it seemed best to rely on that passage of time to smooth that part over, and get to the point where we enter the talk by the coffin. Or perhaps they're so in-sync that, like you said, Rook and Emmrich feel they can just move on. (If you bring Emmrich to Isle of the Gods he's apologetic there, and Rook picks up on it, so maybe that was enough short as it was.) (To my mind it's not a huge thing to declare one way or another, but I'd prefer this one to be player's choice)" [source, two, three, four]
User: "had a question about emmrich's last name. i know there is a banter with harding that confirms it is a commoner name, but i was interested in what his surname breaks down into meaning? I assumed volk=folk perhaps, but is there any other meaning/significance? thank you!" // Sylvia: "You pretty much have it right with "volk" = people. I liked the idea that Volkarin would sound fancy to someone speaking English (well Harding's not speaking English per se, but you know), but have its roots in something that plain. So yeah basically I got a kick out of the thought that in Nevarra, Emmrich's last name is the equivalent of Smith, or Jones, or Wilson. (The "arin" part is just because I thought together it paired well with "volk")" [source, two]
User: "With Hezenkoss, as a romanced rook, it feels like she's a bit jealous and was stuck in a one sided crush with her "friend" Was this intended? Or was she just competitive and annoyed at his popularity with everyone?" // Sylvia: "I always pictured Hezenkoss as annoyed that as they grew up, Emmrich become popular and effortlessly well-liked, while she, with her sheer brilliance, was clearly resented by jealous fools. Fools!!! (I pictured Johanna needling Emmrich over his romance mostly her going 'now there's some nice sore-spots I can press' because she has correctly anticipated his insecurities.) "become popular" Arg I meant to write BECAME. Cripes." [source, two, three] // Sylvia: "TBC I also don't want to invalidate any head-canons! My general rule is that if it's not stated outright in game, it's up for interpretation, regardless of my thoughts. La mort de l'auteur, etc." [source]
User: "I recently made an appreciation post on reddit how relatable he is for me and how it helped me with my anxiety. There were also other users agreeing and sharing their love for the character." // Sylvia: "I read your post and the others, and I'm glad meeting Emmrich touched people like that. His story was a team effort, and everyone making him knew we needed to hit this theme right. (His actor Nick Boraine deserves especial praise for nailing those lines.) I have indeed experienced what Emmrich does, and from the thread and other fan interactions, it's not an uncommon thing. If I can offer something I read a long time ago: you have the right to think about death without being in a state of absolute fear. I don't know why, but that thought helped me focus when things were rough. Maybe because it was correct: we DO have that right. Even if life and our own psyches conspire against us, it's ours." [source, two, three] // User: "I felt seen in a way I never have when Emmrich said he is terrified of dying. I've had panic attacks about it since I was old enough to understand what death is. Thank you for making so many feel seen and helping people realize its not just *them.*" // Sylvia: "I'm really glad it helped, because the conclusion I've come to is this is more common than we think, it's just not something people talk about." [source]
Sylvia: "(Full credit to the great feedback I got from the other writers and editors early on [re: Emmrich], he wouldn't be as good without them.)" [source] // Sylvia: "All credit to the team, especially the writers and editors who gave feedback that made him so much better during those early days and beyond." [source]
Sylvia: ""who came up with Davrin's "hand-to-bone combat" line?? 🤣" Haha that was Davrin's writer, John Dombrow! I'll let him know you (and other people) got a chuckle out of it!" [source]
User, on Manfred: ""I'm so curious -what about the almonds caught his fancy, and why so many?" Some things are a mystery even to me when it comes to Manfred. (Whatever his reason, I thought as a vegetarian Emmrich would probably have a lot of nuts handy which was the germ of the idea.)" // Sylvia: "Some things are a mystery even to me when it comes to Manfred. (Whatever his reason, I thought as a vegetarian Emmrich would probably have a lot of nuts handy which was the germ of the idea.)" [source]
User: "When Rook romances Emmrich, through banter we can see that Emmrich is surprised that the other companions know about the relationship, and also h says to Johanna that it's a private matter. Is it because he wants to keep things private only, is it because he is worried that Rook may not be the one true love, or is he worried about the age gap, or all these reasons and/or others?" // Sylvia: "In this particular case, I think Emmrich just wanted to be discrete because he didn't want to assume it was a serious thing, and for people to think HE thought it was serious. (Though his line to Hezenkoss is snappish specifically because he knows she's needling him, haha.)" [source]
Sylvia: Down Among the Dead Men and Luck in the Gardens "mean a lot to me, being my first published stories in a book.)" [source]
User: "Are there any other areas of Thedas that you think young Altus mages would tour? Poor Dorian looked like a fish out of water in Ferelden." // Sylvia: "Completely talking off the cuff here, but Orlais and Antiva, certainly, and some of the "better" Free Marcher states seem like good candidates. (Poor Ferelden! Always forgotten by the north.)" [source]
User: "I know you said previously that emmrich doesn't really vibe with cats or dogs But like if rook already has a dog or something (that someone is like pet sitting for them while they're kicked out of their faction and traveling with varric) would that be a deal breaker" // Sylvia: "Nah that'd be fine, they're not his favorites but he'll put up with them for Rook." [source]
Sylvia: "I have indeed seen Cushing's version of Hound of the Baskervilles, for some reason that part where he whirls around and throws the knife is embedded into my brain. What a great Holmes he made." [source]
User: "1. Where did Emmrich live in Nevarar when he was a child? 2. When do you think his birthday is? 👀 3. How did Johanna know him?" // Sylvia: "1. He lived inside the bounds of Nevarra City itself. He's always been a city boy. 2. For some reason, he feels like a January/February birthday to me. 3. They met as young students in the Mourn Watch." [source]
User: "if Emmrich didn't think it was serious when he'd always wanted one true love -apparently-, why did he embark on this relationship, especially with so much passion?" // Sylvia: "I think he thought it wouldn't be so serious at first, but then things progressed. And people want conflicting things, sometimes." [source]
User: "I really love Strife being a love interest for Emmrich! What lead to him as the choice if he isn't romanced?" // Sylvia: "The writing team discussed who felt right, and I liked that Strife was from one of the factions because it gives the feeling of your followers interacting with the wider world. And I felt Strife would provide a nice contrast with the romance with Rook. Unlike them, he's more established in his place in the world, like Emmrich is. Just felt like a different dynamic." [source, two] // User: "Strife balances Emmrich well since they are both interested in study but have gone about it differently." // Sylvia: "Agreed! (I wish I had thought to put it like that.)" [source]
User: "how are pets and animals honoured in the Necropolis and by the Mourn Watchers? The same as any other being?" // Sylvia: "Beloved animals are absolutely permitted to be buried with families. Mild Necropolis exploration spoiler: inside the passage you unlock after finding all the wisps in the belfry area, there's actually some caskets for faithful hounds interred in the crypt." [source]
User: "My question is do the mourn watcher/nevarra in general raise their pets after they die to keep them around? like a dog skeleton with a whisp in it?" // Sylvia: "To be honest I hadn't thought out this one, but it's a very good question. I'm not sure how common that would be, or even if it's permitted to have pets running around the family crypt. (I definitely thing people would WANT to do it.) You know, I think I'm going to have to leave this one in the vague quantum foam of the future. I think I'd want to not only double check existing lore, but answer that in-game (or in a book or etc.) if we ever need to. (Hope that's not too much of a cop out. Sometimes I like to leave questions I'm not sure about alone, because until it's in an official game or story, it doesn't quite count.)" [source, two, three]
User: "how long has Manfred been under Emmrich's care?" // Sylvia: "That's a good question, yet another thing I left a little vague in case I needed to define it concretely in the future. And since I've left, the answer is very much in my head only. But I feel it's likely to have at least been a decade. (Hezenkoss acts like she knows about Manfred, I figure she could've met him during an earlier clash. But I don't think Manfred was around when she and Emmrich were young students.)" [source, two]
User: "if Emmrich had tattoos, on what theme would they be?" // Sylvia: "Something anatomical/surgical, patterned on the MW's mystic theories of the body and death, feels appropriate to me." [source]
Sylvia: "BioWare put out an infographic about choices a few weeks ago, and "lich" was winning out. 1) When Emmrich says how he feels will change did he just mean his senses or is it on an emotional level?" He's definitely talking about his senses in that scene. On an emotional level: unknown. (I imagine it WOULD change someone because it's such a big shift, but exactly what does it do, mystically, if anything, is something I'd like to leave alone since I didn't really cover that in the game, and it feels like it'd been bigger consideration if that makes sense.) I kind of want how the lich-romance proceeds to live in players' imaginations, purely so people can tailor it to their own story. I'm afraid any writer-declaration would narrow the possibilities instead of expanding them, if that makes sense." [source, two, three, four]
Sylvia: ""I've been waiting for Nevarra for years and it was everything i could have dreamed of and MORE!" I'm very glad to hear it. The rest of the Necropolis team and I were very excited to finally get to portray even a small portion of the ancient and hallowed graves of Nevarra." [source]
User: "If I remember correctly, we only really see Emmrich use necromantic magic in-game. Are there other types of magic (elemental, healing/spirit, etc) that you think he would gravitate toward?" // Sylvia: "Hrm. He does have a bit of healing magic, mechanically in combat. It coudl work, but somehow I don't think Emmrich would ever be a high-level healer. He could maybe get the basics but it's not his great gift. Something about the gravic magic of the force mage specialty feels appropriate though." [source]
Sylvia: "I'm so glad you liked meeting and getting to know our necromancer. (Huge props to our cinematic and audio team on that garden scene, it was incredible seeing it come in finished for the first time.)" [source]
Allegra Clark: "I just wanted to say that I miss you so much and I’m so excited for whatever comes next in your career. Josephine means so much to me and I’ve fallen utterly in love with Emmrich (how dare you, he’s perfect). Thank you for trusting me with your child over a decade ago ❤️" [source] // Sylvia: "Allegra! Thank you so much! I'm so excited you've been digging our gentleman necromancer. I hope you've been seeing people ping me about their love of Josephine. I heard someone very good did her voice.. Thank YOU for embodying her so quickly and completely!" [source, two]
User: "how was Emmrich doing when Rook was trapped in the Fade?" // Sylvia: "Probably very poorly! Poor man would've been incredibly anxious and working all hours towards a solution." [source]
User: "So i asked you before what music emmrich does like but um is there any music he hates I feel like he'd die if someone took him to a death metal concert XD" // Sylvia: "I think that's a good one to pick, lol. "It's all just noise!"" [source]
User: "Did Emmrich teach (or at least attempt to teach) Manfred how to read?" // Sylvia: "I think that was beyond his skillset, beforehand; Manfred could be taught to recognize objects, but the abstraction of reading was one step too much at that point." [source]
User: "Do Mourn Watchers undergo a Harrowing?" // Sylvia: "They do! You may've missed it but there's a MWer in the Necropolis who mentions MW Harrowings if you go by them. (The MW has had to suspend theirs because chaos in the Fade.) But that's a temporary suspension, probably resolved by the time the credits roll. In general: I figure that if you're a mage who underwent a harrowing in some other circle, that stands, but that the MW would also perform harrowings for students they took in early. Also: not a silly question! It doesn't really come up with the MW except that one ambient line, and it's very easy to miss." [source, two, three]
User: "Doing a 3rd MW playthrough after not playing one for a couple of months feels like coming home again" // Sylvia: "That's some commitment to the dead! The Mourn Watch approve." [source]
User: "if two mourn watchers were to share a piece of grave dowry between them, that's grounds for a serious relationship?" // Sylvia: "You mean like each one having the half of a necklace, or having the same bit of gold made into matching rings? Or swapping jewelry? Either way, what a nice idea. It could be!" [source]
Sylvia: "Emmrichwas very much the work of the team, including some very good feedback early on from the other writers and editors." [source]
Sylvia: "The team and I were also super excited to get to explore the Necropolis. It was an honour to open up the tombs to everyone." [source]
User: "Emmerich's particular respect for trans characters was extremely enticing to me." // Sylvia: "Thanks, I'm glad he resonated. (Some trans colleagues kindly spent the time to give me some feedback on the wording of the lines, which I think made them way better.)" [source]
User: "Emmrich is so amazing" // Sylvia: "Thank you again, that is incredible to hear. (And I want to mention, only possible with the team; they helped improve the story every step.)" [source]
Sylvia: Tevinter Nights "was a fun collection to work on" [source]
User: "Does lich Emmrich feel anything when Rook kisses him or touches him?" // Sylvia: "yeah, I don't think he's "numb" so to speak, he can sense a touch (with his new powers from beyond the graaaaaave 🪦💀🌹)" [source]
User: "about Emmrich so i know he's into flowers and botany but is he into plant meanings and symbolism" // Sylvia: "I think he is - Emmrich mentions some flowers that are "famed in verse and song", I think he'd enjoy reading up on the cultural importance and symbolism layered on to them." [source]
User: "Obv the game mechanics require Rook to make the choice but would a romanced Emmrich choose to become a Lich if the choice was in his hands? Would he abandon his dream for love?" // Sylvia: "I must refuse to answer on the grounds that it's too melancholy to contemplate. ;_;" [source]
User: "On the dinner date in the Necropolis I loved how Emmrich felt philosophical, it was so relatable, especially when he talked about the connection to something finer than we are. It was magical!" // Sylvia: "I'm really pleased that last part of the dinner date, resonated with you, I was trying really hard to get a certain feeling across." [source]
User: "What month do you think Emmrich was born in? I really wanna know what my guy's zodiac sign is" // Sylvia: "I don't know anything about zodiac stuff but weirdly, I do have a range, for some reason I always thought it'd be January or February." [source]
User: "1. How does Emmrich feel about children, both in general and possibly having them? 2. Would Emmrich be into gift-giving?" // Sylvia: "1. In general, he likes kids okay, and tries to be kind, but his students are mostly older so he doesn't really chat with many. Regarding having them, if circumstances aligned so that was the case, I think he'd be excited if maybe a little overwhelmed by the thought. 2. I think so! Not overbearing about it, but he would like to show some tokens of affection at appropriate times. (There's no way he's not delighted to get gifts.)" [source, two]
User: A more recent one but thanks to Sylvia Feketekuty it was the whole arc with Emmrich and his fear of dying because it's something I often experience myself and I don't think it's ever been addressed in a video game before and it was done so well in DA:TV too." // Sylvia: "Thank you so much! It means a lot to me too, to hear that it resonated with you." [source]
Sylvia: [Emmrich] "was the work of many other devs we're toasting here too, everyone working on Emmrich and the Mourn Watch went fully in." [source]
User: "I've wanted to thank you for all your work on DA. Emmrich, Manfred, and the Necropolis kept me going through some rough months. I was delighted to learn that you wrote Josephine too. I hope to see more of your work in the future. You're an amazing writer." // Sylvia: "Thank you, Kobra! And I'm very glad that meeting Emmrich and exploring the necropolis brought you some comfort." [source]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#dragon age: tevinter nights#strife#lgbtq#“Please archive away” :D
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hello! how do you find consistent friends in fandom? as in, how do you find people who stick with you through different fandoms and listen and read your work. also, how long have you been writing for and how long did it take you to get so good at writing and character analysis.... your work is such an inspiration to me, genuinely one of my top 3 authors across ao3. i hope the writing goes well!
hey! this is really sweet, thank you very much for your lovely kind words. 💖
re: friendship: i don't mean to be a downer about this so i hope it doesn't come across this way, but i do think the concept of friends where you follow each other through all your fandoms and continue to read each other's work etc kind of... either doesn't exist or is just a rare phenomenon and not a 'type' of friend per se more than it is something that just happens out of luck. i am lucky enough to have friendships which have persisted through all of us changing fandoms, but the reason those friendships last is actually because we found connections that went beyond common interests. i think sharing a fandom/interest is great as an initial point of connection and a way to meet, but for a relationship to last, you need to have a deeper bond than both being into the same thing--so contrary to what you've asked about (oops sorry) those friendships im speaking of only last because we didn't follow each other into different fandoms, really. we didn't have to. along the same vein, i'd respectfully argue that it wouldn't be productive or fair of me to group 'reading my work' in as an element of friendship, so to speak--i definitely don't expect my friends to read my fic and vice versa, we all understand that we can support each other in our creative pursuits and lives in general / in the abstract without needing to be a fan of the same things or even necessarily being fans of each other's work (although of course it's always nice). i know this doesn't really answer your specific question but i hope it doesn't come across as pessimistic as it might sound. i truly and genuinely believe it's a positive thing that the idealised friendgroup traipsing through fandoms together doesn't really exist (or if it does exist, it's luck and not something to shoot for in itself), because this just tells me to look out for these great opportunities to form bonds that last beyond superficial interests.
in terms of how to make those friendships to begin with, im honestly even less help. my friendships kind of just happened to me. im actually quite terrible at reaching out to people and i am notoriously difficult to reach myself hahaha so honestly all the credit for my friendships goes to my friends for being patient and sticking with me despite that. i am honestly just very lucky in that i've been able to talk out loud into the void and have had wonderful people reach out to me because of it, but that's hardly a reliable strategy... i guess i'd encourage you to be more like my friends, who are the anime protagonists wielding the power of friendship to my prickly antagonist, or whatever. oh another thing to remember i guess is that some friendships just don't last this way and will stay within fandoms and may peter out, and that's ok. i don't consider those relationships less real or valuable for being less lasting.
re: writing: i want to caveat that i don't think i'm fairly able to say (or comfortable saying) that i'm particularly good at writing or character analysis, certainly not to an extent that i'd be willing to hold myself up as an example of it, but i really appreciate that you feel that way about my work and am incredibly honoured to be considered an inspiration in any capacity!!
with that disclaimer made, i'll do my best to answer for whatever it's worth. i've liked writing ever since i was a very little kid, but i will credit any actual progress i've made in developing the skill to writing fanfic because i think that being able to focus on building character and logical flow in plot progression over other things like creating characters, worldbuilding, inventing plots wholesale, etc--which has allowed me to sort of expedite those skills in particular and which i think are helpful in writing more broadly. (this also answers the 'character analysis' part specifically--when you don't have to/get to invent a character, you have to spend more time taking them apart.) anyway, i started writing fic about twelve or thirteen years ago, and there have been periods within that where i've progressed faster or slower depending what's going on in my life haha. i do think time played a massive role in any skill developments i've made, but i also know people take less time or more time to make similar progress (caveat again: progression is subjective, this is very approximate), so i think the other key ingredient besides time is engagement. if it's helpful, i went into that a little bit more here, but as stated i have a lot more to learn and would never present myself as an expert lol
#asks#sorry god i dont know if this is remotely helpful. probably not.#i dont know how to express in a measured way that im possibly the worst and least helpful person to ask about friendship#im very 'tch... friends... what the hell is up with that shit...' and then my beloved friends go 'ok dude' and care abt me anyway#so. i am sorry. im very little help on this front. ive learned a lot about 'friendship' in the abstract FROM my friends but#very little about how to MAKE friends like on purpose because my friends just kind of happened to me. because im lucky?#but i will say the perspective ive gained on friendship and what one can realistically expect from it has been very valuable#and has led me to value my friendships even more#anyway... tch... friendship... what the hell is up with that sh#rookthots#hi my friends reading this i love you
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Ateez confessing to their best friend
Requested? Yes!
Request: ‘‘Can you please do a headcannon of ateez confessing to their bestfriend that they have a crush on them?‘
Hongjoong
I think there would be an unspoken tension between you two that you’re afraid to address. When you think about it, there always has been. It’s something you dance around for a while until you just can’t. But you’re visiting him late in the studio one night and you both are looking at something together, sitting close, and then suddenly you’re kissing. When it’s time to come up for air, he feels quite a bit of confidence in saying, “I guess we should talk about that.”
Seonghwa
He’s stunning and you’re not blind. Neither are a lot of other people. The thing is, he turns down people left and right. You don’t think anything about it at first, but when an idol that everyone chases after asks him out and he says, “Oh thank you, but I’m not interested,” you just have to ask. When you bring it up, he initially shrugs it off. When you ask if he’s already interested in someone, he flushes and says “It’s not important.” It’s only after a little arm-twisting that he finally admits he’s interested in you. He’d feel a lot of fear about this moment but would be so, so relieved if you returned his feelings.
Yunho
You both already act like you’re dating so why are both of you surprised?? (I’m sorry, all I can see is the friends to lovers fic I wrote for him.) This sort of creeps up on him in a way that once he realizes how he’s always looking for and reaching for you, he can’t unsee it. I do think there would have to be an external force that would compel him to confess. Like if you were asked on a date by someone else and you asked his opinion, he would find himself saying, “I’d really rather you not.”
Yeosang
So fucking casual!! So casual in fact that it feels like it came out of left field. He just straight up asks you out and you have this horrible moment of confusion before the panic sets in, because you can’t ask something like that so casually after years of friendship!! But he does and he accepts that it’s a shock for you, but he really just wants to get it off of his chest. He’d totally go back to normal if you didn’t like him like that, but if you did? Not so casual anymore because the relief is obvious!! The casualness was totally fake!!
San
He’s so touchy that this is another one that to strangers you look like you’re dating. But the thing is, he’s touchy even when no one else is around. So imagine cuddling up to him on the couch and he goes in to kiss your cheek like he’s done a million times. Naturally (and stereotypically) you turn your head at just the right time that he ends up kissing the corner of your lips. He likes to see you flustered and acts like he doesn’t understand why. “That was a little close, don’t you think?” You’ll laugh nervously. He’ll shrug in a strong attempt to be casual and ask if that’s a bad thing. If you question if he actually would want to kiss you, he says, “Yes of course,” in an instant.
Mingi
This is totally an overnight realization. One day, he wakes up and sees you that day and thinks, “Uh when did I become attracted to them??” His attitude will do a 180. He’s totally avoidant, and when he can’t avoid you he’s totally awkward. You actually think you might have done something wrong and one of the group members has to step in. The problem is that he’ll have let this go so long that you’re mad by the time he’s ready to talk. He has to confess and grovel.
Wooyoung
He confesses so many times in so many ways and you really think he’s joking. It’s funny to him at first because he thinks you’re just a little dense. But over time, the confessions get increasingly more serious and you still aren’t getting it. This will be to the absolute delight of his members to watch him struggle with this. Eventually, he’ll reach a breaking point and just pull you into a kiss because it seems words just aren’t working. His head might explode when you ask, “Wait, are you into me???” and he’s just like, “Yes!!! I kept trying to tell you!!!”
Jongho
Another stereotypical moment, but bear with me. You have a bad partner that just isn’t treating you right and you’re upset for the millionth time. He’s almost scolding you when he says you shouldn’t put up with that sort of treatment and you can do worlds better. But you might be a little jaded that all relationships are like this. If you express this, he’ll just snap and say, “I wouldn’t be like that.” That’s most certainly something that he can’t back out of now. Not that he wants to because bitterness about watching you suffer in your current relationship has been building for a while and he has a lot to say.
#ateez#atz#ateez x reader#atz x reader#ateez reactions#atz reactions#hongjoong#seonghwa#yunho#yeosang#san#mingi#wooyoung#jongho
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Sit Next To Me
Chapter 3: That’s Actually Very Unreasonable.
You had created two rules for yourself.
Rule One: You could do whatever you wanted. Get the degree you want, party when you want, cancel plans when you want, love who you want. Whatever you really wanted to do, you were going to do, anxiety and guilt free.
Rule Two: You could do whatever you wanted, except for have relationships with classmates. No sex, no dating. If they were on the same course roster as you, they were off limits.
Easy enough, right?
...Right?
Viktor x Female!Reader - 18+
A.N. Yay! Ch 3 is finally done! I pay Rugby and practice started up this week, which is a big reason this wasn't done a little bit sooner. But thank you to everyone for bearing with me and thank you SO MUCH for the support. I've received so many kind comments and messages, I'm so happy that I decided to actually finish and post this instead of letting it it in my google drive. Chapter 4 is coming, I'm not gonna promise when, but its on the way.
At the request of at least one person, I'm going to start a tag list in the replies of each chapter, lmk if you want to be added to that!
ALSO. Someone sent in a request and I am very excited about this. I wasn't planning on asking for requests, but I think it would be good for me to use those as a brain break from the main long form story. So if anyone is interested, feel free to send one shot or head canon requests my way! NSFW or SFW is fine! If you have questions, send an ask :) Anyways, I'll shut up now. Enjoy <3
Read on AO3
Waking up on Saturday was…difficult, to say the least. After spending the summer mostly sober, save for the occasional drink with your dad or joint by yourself, your body was not prepared for the previous night's substance intake. You felt grimy when you came to in your bed. Your skin sticky from sweat, your mouth dryer than all hell, and your brain felt like it had been shaken in a jar. Laying there, face in your pillow, the pros and cons of climbing out of bed tumbled around your head.
You decided that if it was before noon, you’d allow yourself a few more hours of sleep, otherwise you had to get up. Blindly you stuck a hand onto the counter at the head of your bed, knocking things left out from last night around until you found your phone. The bright screen made your temple pulse when you clicked it on.
12:01.
You dropped your head and groaned into the pillow. A deal was a deal, though, even with yourself. You gave yourself grace as you sat up in bed, looking around your tiny double dorm room. Bright light shone around the edge of the blinds, making you squint. Clothes were still scattered around your side, your hightops dropped haphazardly on the floor, not far from your shorts. You had barely managed to piss, brush your teeth, and put on clean underwear before knocking out last night. You could still feel what little makeup you had on last night smeared around your eyes. All of your pre-made plans to hydrate and clean up before going to bed were abandoned as soon as you set foot into your room.
Lest on the other hand, looked like a princess in her bed. Washed hair in two braids, fresh pjs on, and her trusty sleep mask covering her eyes. She even layed like a princess, flat on her back with her hands folded on her stomach. You envied her discipline for hygiene even when drunk.
You slid out of bed. Bracing yourself on the frame with a groan when your stomach flipped. Lest didn’t even flinch, she slept both like a princess and a log. You left on the clothes you slept in, wrapped a towel around your waist, and gathered your shower bag. First order of business was to clean up, because even one more minute of feeling like you were covered in a film of alcohol and smoke and you were gonna peel your skin off.
The shared hallway was aggressively bright, but fortunately empty. You were sure you couldn’t handle an awkward ‘on the way to the shower’ run in with a hallmate right now. You’d probably throw up on the carpet. Luckily on a well weathered first Saturday of the semester, the hall was virtually abandoned. Which also meant that the only single user bathroom on your side of the building was free.
You leaned heavily against the closed door, eyes screwed shut as you fought back the wave of nausea that came with your short walk. With your eyes closed you found the automatic light switch, pushing the button to shut the lights down. The frosted window let in just enough light to see without burning your eyes out. You hung up your things and started the shower, knowing it would take a while for it to warm up.
You took that time to brush your teeth, sick of the grit that lined your mouth. When you saw yourself in the mirror you couldn't help but to cringe. You were a wreck. The makeup around your eyes was worse than you imagined, smeared completely around your eyes in an intense racoon mask. Your hair was half out of the scrunchie you had pulled it into on the way home, hanging awkwardly on your neck. As you brushed your teeth, you tilted your head at the borrowed shirt realizing something off about it. You frowned at it in the mirror, trying to make out what the writing said. Whatever it was, it wasn’t Metallica. You spit in the sink and set your toothbrush to the side before pulling the shirt over your head. It didn’t say Metallica, it said Mozart in the Metallica font.
You snorted a laugh, “Jayce, what the fuck?” Folding the shirt up, you shoved it into your bag, hoping you'd remember to wash it with your laundry. When you caught a glimpse of your bare torso in the mirror, you froze.
Memories of last night came flooding back as you stared at the red marks scattered across your body. An unsteady line of hickeys connected one hip bone to the other, a few were splayed up across your stomach and in a cluster across your chest. There was even one framed by a perfect bite mark on the top of your shoulder.
“God damn…” You muttered, turning in the mirror in search of more. While you didn’t find any more hickeys sucked into your skin, you did find thin bruises on the sides of both your thighs from his fingers digging into your flesh.
You stepped closer to the mirror, ghosting your fingertips over the marks. You couldn’t help but shudder at the memory of his hands on you. You could still feel him against you, his lips, his tongue, his teeth. You gripped the edge of the sink, willing the thoughts away. It was a hookup with a stranger who’s name wasn’t even known to you. It wasn’t going to happen again.
Despite that fact, you thought of him in the shower until the water ran cold.
-----
Lest was awake when you made it back to your room. In the time it took you to shower she had managed to get dressed, make both herself and you coffee and frozen breakfast sandwiches, clean up your side of the room, and get the first season of Love Island up on your TV. She was stirring creamer into her coffee when you came in.
“Goodmorning,” You said, locking your door behind you, “How long have you been up?”
“Like, 45 minutes,” She said, setting the creamer to the side for you, “Were you in the shower that whole time?”
“Er, yeah, sorry. I wanted to shave,” You lied, a little surprised at how long you had actually been gone. You hoped Lest wouldn’t notice that you definitely had not shaved.
You dressed quickly. You and Lest had never been shy about changing in front of each other, but right now you had yourself angled awkwardly against your closet, praying to god she didn’t catch a glimpse of the love bites you were sporting. Luckily you managed to pull on a tshirt and sweats without her noticing. It’s not like you needed to hide from her, you usually told her everything as soon as it happened, but this time you wanted to keep it to yourself. At least for a little bit. You knew she’d have something, probably valid, to say about the complete unknown of the man you had sex with. She’d scold you on how dangerous it was and drag you to the health center to get tested for an STD.
“How’re you feeling?” She asked as you made up your coffee.
“A little like I was hit by a truck,” You shrugged, putting the cream away in your tiny fridge, “But I’ve definitely felt worse. You?”
“Better than I thought I would,” Lest told you, starting the show, “I didn’t drink much towards the end, and I didn’t smoke at all so I guess it makes sense.”
“You’re lucky,” You joked, climbing into bed with your coffee and breakfast, “We’re still doing nothing today right?”
“Oh, for sure.” Lest said nodding with wide eyes, “This is probably the last weekend we’ll be able to actually push homework off. Everything can wait until tomorrow.”
“Works for me,” You nodded, sipping your coffee and tuning into the trashy reality show you and Lest were hooked on.
You realized pretty quickly that all the gorgeous men and women and unhealthy relationships in the world wouldn’t distract you enough. You had figured post your incredibly long shower you’d be free of Pretty Boy, that the memory of him would ebb away. No luck.
By the time Micheal had been cast out of the Villa, you had managed to replay last night's events a hundred times in your head. It wasn’t just the sex that you were hyper focused on, it was every second you were near him. You kept thinking about how he looked in the kitchen, the way the lights moved over his skin and hair. The fact that even in the dark his eyes were still so bright and warm. You could hear the lilt of his accent in your head, all the words he said to you, all the things he called you.
What really stuck with you was how soft it all had been. How gentle and kind he had been with you. The way his voice sounded when he asked if you were leaving. How much you wished you had said no. This was going to haunt you for at least a week, you knew it would. You were preparing for it to be a very hard and very unfocused week.
Lest called you out a few times during the lazy afternoon, questioning your mental absence from the shared room. You brushed her off with excuses of exhaustion and nausea. You could tell she was worried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her. Eventually, not many hours after waking up, you let yourself fall asleep to the thought of his lips on yours.
-------
On Sunday you woke up well before the sun, thanks to your early bedtime. You stared up at the ceiling, willing yourself back to sleep, but as your room slowly turned from pitch black into grey tones you knew it wasn’t going to happen. Quietly you pulled yourself out of bed and got ready for the day. It was barely even six by the time you were finished getting ready, but you were restless. Scribbling a note for Lest, you left your dorm.
There was a time when you’d go on a walk before the sun was fully up every morning. It was when you enjoyed campus the most. The cold and quiet of it was comforting, it felt like home. Almost completely deserted at this hour. The only souls you ever saw this early were the landscapers, perfecting the small campus before the day began, and the occasional early rising professor walking a beloved campus dog. On a Sunday, though, it was truly empty.
You wandered without really knowing where you were going, you let your feet remember the familiar path they once took so frequently. The sun barely peeked over the line of trees and brick buildings, casting long shadows over the quad. Dew grayed the grass, evaporating where the sun touched it. Eventually you reached the flower garden nestled between the two original buildings of the campus. You settled on a cold stone bench, the dedication plaque so worn it was nearly unreadable.
You looked around the garden. The variety of flowers were in full bloom as the summer came to a close, each one tended to with great care. It was a sacred place on campus, for everyone. It was where most students had been introduced to the school, the garden being the meeting spot for all campus tours. During both matriculation and graduation, students paraded through it. The flowers were both a beautiful welcome and a bittersweet goodbye to those who chose Piltover for their education. It was impossible not to love it.
You sighed and picked at a patch of lichen on the edge of the bench. Remembering what else you used to do on these early walks, another habit you regretfully fell out of. You dragged your knees up to your chest and pulled your phone from your hoodie pocket. Your fingers were on autopilot as they navigated to your contacts.
It rang only once.
“Good morning Buddy,” Your dad’s voice was warming even through the phone.
“Good morning,” You said, leaning your cheek against your knee, “How are you?”
“I’m good, just getting ready to head out on the boat,” You could hear him shuffling around as he spoke. You could picture him, preparing for the day in the kitchen, “How are you? You’re up pretty early.”
“Working on a Sunday? That’s unlike you,” You joked, it was actually very like him, “I fell asleep early last night, couldn't go back to bed.”
“No, actually, not working today,” You heard the front door of your house open and close, “I’m headed out with the guys. The weathers going to be good for some deep fishing, today.”
“Oh good, that’ll be nice. I hope the catch is good,” You were glad he was taking time for himself, “Send me pictures if you get anything cool.”
“Of course buddy,” He laughed, you heard his truck start up, “Wait, so you went to bed early on a Saturday night? When did you become so boring?”
You scoffed, “Excuse me, are you mad that I am a responsible adult?”
“That’s not what I said!” He assured you.
“Yeah sure,” You rolled your eyes but smiled anyways, “Besides, it was friday night that I was out until three in the morning, rest assured I am certainly not boring.”
“Hm, okay,” He was quiet for a moment, “You’re making good decisions, I hope? Staying safe.”
You groaned at the implications of his words, embarrassed that they weren't actually that far off. He didn’t need to know that, though.
“Yes Dad, I am making perfectly fine decisions,” You half lied to him.
“Good to know. I’m too young to be a grandfather.”
“Ew,” You fake gagged, “Don’t say stuff like that.”
He laughed on the other end. It had been a week and a half since you saw him last, but you already missed the sound of him laughing, “How was your first week of classes?”
“Good,” You told him, “So far at least. I mean, it's the first week and I already have a good amount of homework to do, which sucks, but I think I can handle it.”
“Yeah, you’ve got this, though,” He assured you, never not confident in your abilities, “You always do. What classes are you taking again?”
“I have two envi-sci classes right now, one with a lab, a chemistry class with a lab, and I’m taking an Asian American Lit class, to keep myself from going crazy in the science building.” You told him, thinking about your particularly heavy science schedule, “I’m trying to switch chemistry classes, though. There's a smaller class with a…better professor. Not that my current professor is bad, it’s just that Heimerdinger is, like, the best professor here. I’d like to take at least one class with him. I’m on the waiting list.”
“Sounds like a good schedule. I’m glad you're taking a non-science class, it’ll be good for your brain,” He told you, “And I’ll cross my fingers you get into that class you want.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” You laughed, at this point you didn’t have much hope for getting in, but you could always try next semester.
“Hey, has your mom talked to you?” The question made you groan.
“No, why?” You didn’t particularly want to talk to her, not since her 2nd remarriage last summer.
“She called the other day and asked if she could have you for Christmas this year?” He was treading carefully, “I think you should.”
‘What? No way,” You answered immediately, offended at the idea that you would want to do that, “First of all, I’m not 15 anymore, neither of you get to have me, I can decide where I want to go for breaks. And second, Why would I want to spend break in Arizona with her child groom and his infant children?”
He was, clearly, not a child groom. Paul was 35, but in comparison to your mother’s age- 45- he might as well be a teenager. His kids weren’t infants either, 9 & 14, but, again, they might as well have been.
“Hey, I know, I trust you to make your own decisions, but I also know that you’ve developed a lot of anger recently with your mom,” He sighed, “I don’t want you to have a bad relationship with her your whole life, it’s not healthy.”
“Really milking those two years of psychology undergrad, huh,” You joked bitterly. Your dad would have been the best therapist in the world if he had finished school. Your surprise arrival put an end to that half dream instantly. He never resented you for it.
“I’m serious, buddy,” His voice was calm, urging you to be open, “It wouldn’t have to be for the whole break, just a couple days around Christmas. If you want to spend the rest of the time here with me you can, obviously. Just think about it?”
“Fine…I’ll think about it,” You pouted, he could convince you of anything, “But no promises.”
“Thank you, sorry for springing this on you right now.” You could hear chatter somewhere behind him, he was probably at the docks by now.
“It’s okay, sorry for being a brat about it,” You laughed softly.
“You’d be nothing without your attitude,” He teased, in the background you could hear someone calling his name.
“I get it from you,” That wasn’t entirely true, you and him both knew it, “But hey, I’ll let you go, sounds like you’re needed.”
“Yeah, the guys just showed up,” He admitted, “I can tell them to wait for a bit though if you want to keep talking?”
“Nah, it’s okay,” You insisted, checking the time, “I should probably go, anyways. Me and Lest are gonna go work on homework in a bit.”
“Okay, no problem,” He told you, you wished you could talk to him all day, you wished you were going fishing with him, “I’m proud of you, buddy, and I love you so much.”
“Love you too, Dad,” You said, trying to hold back tears, “Have fun out there, be safe.”
“Always am. Tell Lest I say hello for me, Love you.” He let you hang up the phone.
You wrapped your arms around your legs and buried your head in your knees, unable to hold back the sobs. You let yourself cry. You didn’t think this was how you’d start your morning, but it was fine. Almost cathartic in a way, to let yourself be sad about something as childish as missing your dad who was only a day. You knew it was fine and very normal, but it still felt immature. Regardless, you let yourself cry until Lest finally texted you.
-------
The rest of the day was just as unexpected. When you headed back to your dorm Lest had just started to get ready. You laid in your bed, scrolling through your phone until she was ready. In the hour or so it took her to shower, get dressed, and gather her school work, the weather took a drastic change. You had wanted to lay out on the quad and do work, but the soft sunny sky was full of clouds now, all threatening rain. Instead, you and Lest headed to the small coffee shop on campus. Here it was much harder to focus. You camped out at a table in the corner, despite this everyone who knew you or her came over to chat. Meaning the amount of work you finished was…disappointing, to say the least.
Then, due to the cafe's short Sunday hours, you had to relocate once again. At the overly polite requests of the baristas, you packed up and hauled off to the library. You wished you had come here in the first place. It was pretty much vacant this time of day and you and Lest set up in the quiet section, assuring no one would bother you even if they wanted to. Workflow was steady now, you managed to knock out one assignment after another. In the quiet of the library you were even able to focus on your textbook readings enough to take notes.
As the afternoon began to turn to evening and the library began to fill up, you were finally in the home stretch. Lest was on her last set of practice questions for her math class and you had one more reading and a chemistry practice test to do. You’d probably be back to your room within the hour. You opened up the practice test, determined to get everything done.
It was harder than you had expected. Some of the questions were fairly basic, things you knew from level one and even highschool chemistry, and there were a few that took a little effort but were fresh in your head from last semester. Almost half the questions, though, were questions that were completely foreign to you. You could make out bits and pieces of it in your brain. Some questions gently touched by your previous professors and others that you could make shaky assumptions on. You tried to remind yourself that this was a practice test for a reason, but the shitty score you knew would show at the end still bothered you. In the end you got 65%.
You opened up your email to check for submission confirmation before moving on to the reading. A recent message at the top of the box made you pause. You read it quickly once, twice, three times.
“I’m off the waitlist,” You told Lest, flinching when someone at a nearby table shushed you.
“What?” She whispered, leaning closer to see your laptop.
“I’m off the waitlist for chem,” You whispered back, opening up the class portal and accepting the offer.
“I thought you were in a chem class already?” She raised an eyebrow at you.
“Yeah, but I got into the class with the professor I actually want,” You explained, wishing you could be more excited than the setting allowed.
“Oh, that's…good,” You could tell she didn’t quite get it, but wanted to be happy for you anyways.
“Yes, it’s very good,” You laughed, pushing your chair away from the table, “and as a reward, I’m gonna go piss.”
“Babe, please don’t give yourself a UTI because you only pee after academic success,” Lest jokingly begged, rubbing the space between her eyebrows.
You couldn’t hold back a laugh as you walked away from the table, ignoring the dirty looks from other tables. You were thrilled, a class with Heimerdinger genuinely opened up a world of connections. He knew scientists in every field all over the world. Of course, as the dean of the science department, he was willing to help any student make connections, but it was definitely easier if you were in his class. You were so happy about this, you didn’t mind that the practice test you just spent an hour on was for a class you were about to drop.
You pulled out your phone, shooting off a text to your dad.
Got into the class I wanted! Thx 4 crossing ur fingers
He responded immediately.
Yay… that’s great, happy for you… wanna see the catch today?
You shook your head at the ellipses habit he refused to break. Such an old man.
TY!!! Yes obvi. Fish Now.
He sent back a photo of himself and one of the older guys he fished with holding an impressively sized mahi mahi.
Omg mahi this late in the szn is craaazzyyy, very jealous
You couldn’t help the pang of sadness that bloomed in your chest. Missing your dad intensely for the second time that day.
Yeah, me and the guys were surprised for sure…I got go, talk to you later?
Oki!
Love you Buddy
Love u toooo
You slammed into someone in your distraction as you hit send. The apology coming out of your mouth only made it halfway, your mind and body freezing up at the flash of chestnut hair and pale skin above you.
“Woah, watch it.” The guy, who you realized a second later was not in fact Pretty Boy, snapped at you.
“Sorry,” Your voice came out like a squeak, you cleared your throat, speaking louder, “Sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, it’s…uh it’s fine,” Not Pretty Boy said, looking down at you oddly, “Are you okay?”
You realized you were staring at him, studying all the ways in which he wasn’t Pretty Boy. Too stocky, face too round, hair too long, eyes a dull green.
“Uh, yeah. I’m fine, sorry,” You shook your head, stepping past him as you apologized again.
You hurried off to the restroom, face burning as you locked yourself into a stall. You had managed to keep him out of your head all day. You dressed without looking at the marks he left behind, you kept your mind busy with work and thoughts of your family situation, you barely even acknowledged the fact that you had a body.
And now after all that work, here you were, unable to think about anything besides him. You groaned and thumped your head against the stall door, knowing he’d be inescapable for the rest of the night.
You stared at your hand on your leg, fingers digging into the bruises under your jeans. You had set your book down for the hundredth time, barely halfway through the reading, distracted again. Every time you tried to read the words on the page, you wouldn’t get far. Unable to process any of the information you were looking at. It all felt like a different language. You could feel his hands pressing into your legs, his lips on your neck, accent in your ears.
Something hitting your forehead made you jump, startling you out of the daydream.
“Earth to struggling student,” Lest whispered, crumpling another sticky note and launching it at you.
You swatted the yellow paper away, frowning at her, “What?”
“Girl, where have you been this weekend?” Lest hissed, leaning across the table, eyebrows furrowed, “You’ve been weird ever since Jayce’s party. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You shrugged.
“Okay, liar,” She deadpanned, rolling her eyes, “What’s up?”
“Nothing!” You insisted, rifling the pages of your book.
She stared at you, blink her big eyes expectantly. At this point, she wasn’t going to give up.
“I hooked up with someone at the party” You muttered, not looking at her.
“What?” She gasped, ignoring the looks from other tables. She stood and took the seat next to you, pulling her chair close and leaning in, “When?”
��When I went to wash my top in the garage,” You told her, chewing on your lip, “I wasn’t exactly smoking alone,”
“Oh my god!” She squeaked, eyes wide, “You fucked someone in Jayce and Cait’s garage??”
“Shhh,” You placed a palm over her mouth, worried about wandering ears, “Be quiet, I don’t need the whole student body to know.”
She just blinked at you over the top of your hand, waiting.
“Yeah, in the garage,” You could feel your face getting hot.
“Did you guys… like, get a home run? Or only make it to 3rd base?” She raised an eyebrow.
“What are you? 12?” You scoffed, glancing sideways as you told her, “...home run.”
“Good girl!” She punched you lightly on the arm, “Wait, that’s why you’ve been so spacy? You’ve been thinking about your little garage escapade all weekend?”
“Lest, you don't get it,” You insisted, “It was, like, amazing. Quite possibly the best sex I have ever had in my entire life. Like, honeymoon waited until marriage but somehow still perfect at it kind of sex.”
“No way,”
“Yes way, bitch,” You said, raising your eyebrows at her, “yes fucking way.”
“Damn…” She stared down at the table, then quirked her head to the side, “Who?”
There it was, the reason you hadn’t told her as soon as it happened.
“Um, well…” You hesitated. Lest narrowed her eyes at you, you could see her mind scrolling the list of possibilities. You cringed, “I don’t exactly know.”
Lest gaped at you, “What?”
“We were both high,” You admitted sheepishly, “And kind of caught up with other things. Names didn’t come up.”
“Are you crazy?”
“He was nice!” You defended, “Like, so fucking nice.”
“That is so dangerous!” She scolded, more concerned than mad, “Did you use a condom?”
“Christ, Lest, of course,” You rolled your eyes, “I’m not dumb.”
“I know, but you said you were high,” She shrugged, “Just wanted to make sure I didn’t need to find a way to squeeze a crib into our dorm.”
“Twenties pregnancy is no joke,” You told Lest, trying to hold your face straight as long as you could before the corners of your mouth cracked upwards.
“Damn, so great sex guy is anonymous,” She sighed, “That’s kind of a bummer. He goes here right?”
“He said he did,” You told her, “That’d be an odd thing to lie about, right?”
“Yeah, well, maybe you’ll see him at another party?” She said, hopeful.
“Yeah, maybe,” You sighed, “I don’t know, it was so good I almost don’t want to do it again.”
“That makes zero sense,” she scrunched her nose.
“I mean, I fucked this guy once for, like, an hour.” You explained, “And he is all I’ve been able to think about for the past two days. Do I really want to do this again?”
“Well, if you make it a habit,” She offered.
“I don’t know,” You sighed, shaking your head, “It sucks, but I think it’s better if it doesn't happen again. I don’t think my grades could handle it.” You waved the book you had tried and failed to read for the past hour.
“Skill issue.” She shrugged, shutting her laptop, “Do you have to finish that reading tonight? I wanna get dinner.”
“Uh, thanks Lest, very cool,” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at her joke, “And I’m not going to be able to anyways. I’ll finish it before class tomorrow.”
“Okay good,” Lest said, standing and stretching her arms over her head, “I’ll get us Thai if you promise details.”
“Hm, you know, I’m not against trading my secrets for pad thai and mango rice,” You laughed, packing your stuff up.
Clasping her hands together she determined, “This is, like, better than Love Island.”
You just scoffed, shaking your head at her.
-------
As thrilled as you were to be taking Heimerdinger's class, there was one tiny drawback. It was your first and only seven am. You had managed four whole semesters of not having to be in a class until at least nine. That was very much on purpose, because dragging yourself out of bed at five in the morning was not your idea of a good start to the day.
As much as you wanted to skip past your first alarm and show up to class unshowered and in sweatpants, you figured that wasn’t the most professional first impression to make on the dean. So you got up like a good student. You took your time getting ready and double checking that you had everything you’d need for your two classes of the day, preferring to not haul back to the dorm between them. You had correctly calculated enough time to stop at the cafe on the way to grab coffee with a higher caffeine content than what you could make in your room.
There were quite a few seven am classes available, but given that you were over 30 minutes early, the halls of the science building were still fairly deserted. A few offices were lit up and some classrooms had TAs setting up for the day, but not much student presence yet. When you found the room the schedule had directed you to, you were pleased to see it was empty. It’d be easier to talk to who you considered the most intimidating professor on campus without an audience.
The classroom was small, but you knew the lab attached through a door at the back would be much bigger. Professor Heimerdinger was sitting behind the desk at the front, fidgeting with the desktop computer. You knocked on the doorframe to get his attention.
“Good morning Professor Heimerdinger,” You greeted, stepping partially into the room as you told him your name, “I was on the waitlist until last night, I wasn’t sure if they told you I had moved off of it.”
“Oh! Good morning, dear,” He beamed from under his impressively large mustache, moving away from the computer, “Yes, it was mentioned that there may be a change in the roster. I’m glad you were able to move up from the waitlist. Welcome.”
“Thank you,” You smiled, you had never been in the same room as the esteemed man, only ever seen him give speeches or in passing around campus, you walked over to his desk, “I’m also glad to be here, I’ve been looking forward to taking one of your classes. I’ve heard great things.”
“That’s very kind of you to say,” He walked around his desk and extended a hand up towards you. Due to his short stature you had to bend just slightly at the waist to return the gesture, “I’m glad to have you in class, your name is familiar. Are you acquaintances with Mr. Jayce Talis, by chance?”
You knew Jayce had been lucky enough to score Heimerdinger as his advisor and close mentor, you were surprised he had mentioned you, though.
“Yes, actually, Jayce is a very close friend of mine,” You told him, trying to hide a nervous laugh, “Has he been speaking of me?”
“Only good things, my dear,” He said, picking up on your anxiety, “I assure you.”
“Good to know,” You laugh, hoping it wasn’t too loud in the small space, “Thank you, again, I am really grateful for the opportunity to be in your class.”
“Well of course,” He told you, moving back around his desk as he spoke, “Have you been able to acquire the reading materials for the class?”
“I ordered the textbook last night,” You explained, “I should have it by the end of the week. I’m sure I can borrow a copy from a classmate for the time being.”
“No need, I have an extra copy you are welcome to use until yours arrives,” He pulled a dense book from under his desk, “It’s an earlier edition, though, so just be sure that you read the correct sections.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it,” You took the worn book, he also handed you a printed syllabus, “Was there reading for today? I could try to get some of it done before class starts.”
“Last week’s schedule became a little jumbled due to my being under the weather, so the first reading is due next class, if you would like to review the syllabus and schedule before class, you will be all caught up,” He explained. You couldn’t describe the relief this gave you, “We only met for one class last week, so you aren’t behind, but the class has already been divided into groups for the semester. I apologize that you were not here for the grouping. I allow students to choose who they work with, so if you see someone you know feel free to join their group.”
“Okay, thank you.” You nodded and turned to find a seat.
As Heimerdinger returned back to his computer, you set up in the corner of the room. The syllabus was fairly basic, but gave a good explanation of the Professor’s expectations. You were sure this wasn’t going to be an easy class, but you were also sure you’d enjoy the challenge. The only thing that was making you anxious was the fact that none of the students that showed up were familiar to you. You watched as the clock ticked closer and closer to seven, your knee bouncing under the table. You tried to distract yourself by skimming through the borrowed textbook, settling on a random section to pass the time with.
You were halfway through the chapter about asymmetric oxidation and reduction when a newer copy of the book was dropped on the table in front of you with a bang. You jumped, looking up in surprise.
“Hey stranger,” Jinx smirked down at you, nodding at your book,“Pretty impressive reading pace you’ve got there.”
“Jinx!” You stood, wrapping your arms around her, “I didn’t know you were in this class.”
“Ekko is too, he’ll be here in a minute,” She told you as you settled into your seats, the room was busy now, “Were you on the waitlist?”
“Yeah, this class was a bitch to get into,” You frowned, then realized something, “Wait, how did you get in? You’re a sophomore this year right? This is an upperclassmen class.”
She laughed sheepishly, shrugging, “Ha, well you know, nepotism isn't always bad.”
“No way, Silco got you in? You lucky bitch,” You gasped, but were not surprised that her dad, who happened to be a well respected professor in the business program, had managed to get her into a higher level class.
“Yeah, and Ekko,” She pulled the rest of her things from her bag, blowing a strand of freshly dyed blue hair out of her face, “You should have told me, I could have gotten you in, too.”
“Sorry, friend nepotism didn’t cross my mind,” You laughed, waving at Ekko as he walked into the room, “I’ll keep it in mind for next time, though.”
“Always got your back, babe,” Jinx gave an over exaggerated smile, all teeth.
Ekko slid into the seat next to Jinx, setting a coffee cup down in front of her, “Hey, where were you last week?” He laughed, extended a fist out for you to bump.
“Still on the waitlist,” You laughed, pulling out your things as other students began to settle into their seats.
“Glad you're here,” He told you, “You wanna be part of our group right?”
“Yes please,” You said with exaggerated begging,“I was worried I’d have to join people I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, there’s a reason I drag him into every class I take,” Jinx laughed, jerking her thumb over to Ekko.
“Yeah, I’m sure the fact that I always give you my notes has nothing to do with it,” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” She stuck her nose up in the air, giving him a side eye.
You couldn’t help but to laugh at them, their large personalities combined to make one big ball of loud and colorful and smart. You had spent a lot of your free time during your summer research with them. Jinx had convinced you to join their little band and you three terrorized the others with very loud and not so great music playing. You were excited to be in class with them. Looking around, though, you noticed that all the other groups consisted of at least three people, some of them even holding five.
“Are you guys a group of two?” You tilted your head, it would be odd for the Professor to let them do that in a class that seemed to be very group focused.
“What? Oh, no there’s three of us,” Ekko told you, “I don’t know if you’ve met him yet. It’s Jayce’s new roommate, Viktor. I don’t know why he isn’t here yet.”
You laughed, part of you still wondering if this was some insane joke that everyone was really really dedicated to, “Haven't met him, yet, but I’ve heard of him plenty of times.”
“Wasn’t he at the party on Friday?” Jinx asked, “He said Jayce had convinced him to go.”
“Jayce kept saying he was there, but I never ran into him,” You shrugged, “I’m still not convinced he’s real.”
“Yeah, you got us,” Jinx said, dead serious, “He isn’t real.”
“Wait what?” You side eyed her.
“Also we wrote gullible on the ceiling,” She rolled her eyes, you resisted the urge to look up, “Viktor is very real, I promise. He’s super smart too, like, almost as smart as me.”
“Always humble, babe,” Ekko said, patting Jinx on the arm, “Always humble.”
Class began then, Heimerdinger calling everyone's attention to the front of the room. You settled into the flow of it pretty quickly. You weren’t surprised that he managed to be an engaging professor. You’d sat through plenty of his speeches and presentations over the past two years, and never for a second did you find yourself bored during them. He gave a quick overview of what the next couple of weeks were going to look like and then passed around paper practice tests. You were a little disappointed to have to do another one.
This test ended up being somewhat easier than the one you had taken last night, only a few of the questions really escaped you. You could tell this was a test meant to gauge how much the class knew as opposed to how much they didn’t. You had just flipped to the last page when the door to the classroom opened. As much as you wanted to keep your eyes down and not contribute to the awkward stares you were sure everyone was already giving, instinct kicked in and you couldn't help but to glance up.
You froze.
There was no way.
This was not happening.
You blinked a few times, mouth hanging open as you watched Pretty Boy lean over Heimerdinger's desk, speaking too quiet for you to hear with an apology written all over his face. Your heart dropped all the way down to the center of the earth, your lungs dried out and you felt like your head was under waves.
When Pretty Boy turned around, his perfect amber eyes immediately landed on yours. Freezing, his eyes widened slightly in an expression you were sure was identical to yours. Poorly hidden horror. You looked away, eyes dropping to your paper, the grip around your pencil was tight enough to turn your knuckles white. You could hear him walking straight for your table, cane tapping along with his footsteps.
You furrowed your eyebrows at the table. Why was he coming this way? There were plenty of other seats. Was now the time to confront you? In the quietest classroom imaginable. He slid into the seat next to you.
“Hey Viktor,” Jinx whispered, glancing up before going back to her test.
Viktor. He was Viktor. Pretty Boy was the roommate you were convinced didn’t exist. The one you had just told Jinx you had never met. The reality that you had, in fact, met him very intimately was crashing down around you. You raced back through your memory, all the little dots that you should have connected immediately snapped together. The music he was listening to, the smoking, that he was even in the garage in the first place, the reason you hadn’t recognized him despite being in your year, the fact that you never saw him leave the house.
He fucking lived there. He was Jayce’s roommate. You had fucked Jayce’s roommate.
You could feel his eyes on the side of your face as these thoughts ran through your head. You looked up at him, his closeness making you dizzy, but not in a pleasant way like last time. His face was nearly blank, only the slightest pull to his eyebrows that didn’t give away any of his thoughts. You had never felt the desire to know what someone else was thinking, not really, not until this very moment.
Not knowing what to do, you let out a shaky breath and went back to your paper. The room was too quiet to speak to him, you could do nothing but endure the remaining time it took for everyone to finish their tests and hope you didn’t faint.
You were keenly aware of his presence next to you. Everything was taken up by Pretty Boy. By Viktor. You could feel the heat of his leg close to yours, you could smell the cologne he was wearing. The scratching of his pen as he started the test was the only sound you could hear. You felt like you were going crazy. At this moment you were sure you could have been committed to a state hospital. The words on the page blurred in front of you. You scribbled out incorrect equations a dozen times before Hiemerdinger finally concluded that everyone was done.
“I will review these and adjust our scheduled content accordingly,” He told the class as the tests were passed forward, “As an unplanned reward for enduring my data collection, please talk amongst yourselves while I battle with technology. I will begin today’s lesson as soon as possible.”
“Nice,” Jinx said to herself as chatter started up in the classroom, she turned to Pret- to Viktor, “Dude, where were you?”
“Sorry, I was stuck behind a school bus,” He told her, his accent was less thick than you remember, “it wasn’t a problem last week, I wasn’t prepared.”
“Oh, yeah, school just started this week for little kids,” She nodded, she was lost in thought for a moment, no doubt thinking about picking up Isha from school later. She snapped back to the present and told him your name, “She’s part of the larger group, I’m surprised you haven't met yet.”
His eyes met yours and when he said your name, you could have melted all the way to the ground floor, “It’s nice to meet you, are you…joining our group?”
It took you a moment to realize he was holding a hand out to you. You shook it, trying to be as firm as you could, but you knew your hands were shaking.
“Nice to meet you, too, ” You said, “Um, I can find another group if you-”
“No,” He said, too quickly, “No, that’s not necessary, I’m glad to have you work with us.”
You did your best not to read into that, “Glad to be here.”
“Heimerdinger wanted us to schedule an out of class work time,” Ekko told you, drawing your attention away from Viktor’s face, “We were thinking Friday’s right after class, since we won’t have lab.”
“That works for me,” You nodded, trying to settle into your chair and be casual.
“Cool, I’ll send a calendar invite,” He said, always the proactive one.
“You are friends with Jayce?” Viktor asked, tilting his head at you.
“Yep,” You nodded awkwardly, unsure how to talk to him, “Since freshman year,”
“Hm, interesting.” He mused.
You hated this. It was so uncomfortable and not at all like the last time you had spoken to him. Even aside from the fact that you weren’t fucking, the few words said were clunky and awkward. You were realizing that the drugs and alcohol you had consumed might have had something to do with the ease of conversation. It made you sad. You knew this was stupid. You knew you were being childish. You were an adult, sex shouldn’t be the cause of this unbearable awkwardness. You should be able to talk to someone you hooked up with, without being on the verge of a panic attack. Luckily, Heimerdinger’s technical difficulties came to an end. He drew back everyone's attention and put a halt to your terrible conversation. You turned away from Viktor, facing the front as the intro to advanced ochem lecture began.
The rest of class, thankfully, went smoother than you expected. Your group fell into a good rhythm, working together between bouts of notes to work on practice problems. Viktor was less tense, which let you relax a degree. He was more than willing to help you navigate your textbook, looking over your shoulder to check that you were on the right section. He even helped you find the reading for next class, tearing a piece of paper from his notebook and placing it in the pages. There wasn’t a lab planned for the day, so Heimerdinger continued his lecture well into the scheduled lab time. By the end of the four hours, you had written down almost ten pages of notes. Your hands ached.
“Apologies for the lecture heavy class, everyone. Having to cancel our first class last week meant I needed to catch everyone up” Heimerdinger said as he closed out the presentation, “I promise from here on we will utilize the last two hours as lab time. Have a good rest of your day everyone, I will see you on Wednesday.”
You scooped your things into your bag and slung it over your shoulder, “I’ve gotta get to another class, see ya around.”
You darted out of the door before anyone could reply. Your head was filled with too many thoughts. You took the stairs down, doing your best to organize the mess in your brain. You created a list. First, the things you needed to do, right now. Finish the reading for Asian American Lit, number one. Number two, go to your Asian American Lit class. Then, the things that could wait until after. Telling Lest about Viktor/Pretty Boy dilemma. Though, she would be mad that you didn’t call her at that very moment. Asking Jinx to add you to the group chat, meaning you'd have his number. Yeah, that you could wait on. Then the things you decided could wait forever. Number one, talking to Viktor. It’s all you wanted to do. And at the same time you’d rather spontaneously combust than confront that awkward conversation.
You were free of the overpowering AC of the science building for less than a minute before the task you decided never needed to happen, happened. Against your will, of course.
“Wait up!” Your steps faltered for a second at the sound of Viktor’s voice calling after you. You ignored him, continuing as if you hadn’t heard. He shouted your name, “I know you can hear me!”
You stopped staring at the hot sidewalk for a moment. No. You had somewhere to be, things to do. You shook your head without turning around and kept walking.
“If you take one more step, you’re ableist!” He shouted, out of breath.
You froze and turned slowly to look at him, jaw hanging open, “That is not funny.”
“Got you to stop didn’t it,” He panted, closing the distance between you, he knocked his cane against the side of your calf, “And, I do believe running from a man with a cane can be considered ableist.”
“First of all, I am not running from you,” You lied, looking up at him. You stepped a half inch to the side, using his shadow to block your eyes from the sun, “And second, if I happened to be running from you, it certainly is not because you use a mobility aid.”
“Okay Miss PC,” He rolled his eyes, “Doesn’t matter why, if I deem it ableist, it is.”
You opened your mouth to argue, floundering for what to say. You don’t remember him being this infuriating at the party.
“Exactly,” He said as you snapped your jaw closed.
“Viktor,” You sighed, “What do you want?”
He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, tilting his head at you. He gave a soft laugh, “I have been waiting all weekend to hear you say my name.”
Breathing would have been easier if he punched you. You blinked up at him, watching him watch you.
“I’m sorry, can I…” He looked around, noticing that other students were leaving the building as their classes ended. You two were standing in the dead center of the sidewalk and in the late summer heat his pale cheeks were already turning pink, “Can we just talk for a second, please?”
He didn’t wait for you to respond before he stepped off the main path and began walking into the flower garden. The dry gravel crunched under his shoes as he walked, the sound amplified in your brain as you followed after him. He settled under a latticed arch, the honeysuckle vines that snaked around it shading you both from the midday sun.
“I’m sorry,” You said, frowning at him.
“For what?” He asked, face confused.
For running away. For not asking your name. For leaving. For joining your class.
“I don’t know.” Was all you could manage.
“You know, apologies lose a lot of their value if you don’t know what you're apologizing for,” He narrowed his eyes, voice almost scolding.
“I..I know, I’m sorry.”
“You say sorry too much,” He laughed, shaking his head, he didn’t look upset, “It’s very American of you.”
“Well, I am American,” You pointed out, letting yourself laugh softly with him, “I’m sorry for that too,” You joked.
“Well, let me apologize?” He asked, “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable in class, it truly was not my intention.”
That was an apology. A real and true apology.
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” You shook your head, “Fuck, if anyone had a right to feel weird, it was you.”
He tilted his head in question.
“I mean, it was your class first,” You told him, “I just kinda…showed up.”
“Did you join the class because I was in it?”
“Well, no,” You laughed softly, “How could I have, I didn't even know your name.”
“That’s true,” He scoffed, “I regret that, by the way, I should have asked your name. Not very polite to ask after having sex with someone.”
“Eh, it happens to the best of us,” You shrugged, liking the laugh he gave you in response.
“Well, I am glad I know now,” He told you, eyes moving across his face, he smirked, “It’s a pretty name.”
“Hm, thanks, I like yours quite a lot as well,” You smiled up at him, the step closer he took didn’t go unnoticed, “It suits you, almost as much as Pretty Boy.”
“Thank you,” He smiled down at you, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“What?” You could tell there was something else he wanted to say.
“Can I take you out?” He asked, taking a nervous breath, “I know we kinda did this in a backwards manner, but I…you are very interesting to me, I would like to take you out properly.”
Your stomach twisted. Your chest felt like it was caving in.
“No,” You said, head shaking slightly as you offered a sad smile. The unexpected hurt that flashed in his eyes killed you.
“Oh, um,” He stumbled over his words, clearly taken aback by your refusal, he tried to step away, “Okay.”
“Hey wait,” You reached out, grabbing his wrist before you could escape, “Listen, it’s not you.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, begging you not to embarrass him any further with a cliche line.
“Really, I swear,” You urged, not letting go until he stepped back towards you, “I just… I don’t date classmates. I don’t sleep with classmates. Even if I want to. It causes problems, it makes class awkward, and I can’t risk my GPA just because I find someone attractive.”
He hummed to himself, nodding as he took in your words.
“So…” He reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, the same way he did when you were straddling his lap, “You’re saying you find me attractive?”
You resisted the urge to lean into his palm, instead you grabbed his wrist and pulled his lingering hand away from your face, “Don’t do that.”
“I’m confused, you’ve already slept with me? So what does it matter?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you. He was so fucking handsome you wanted to scream.
“Because, at the time, we weren’t classmates.” You explained like it was obvious.
“Okay, so let me get this straight, you will be in a relationship - sexual or romantic - with someone as long as they aren't an active classmate?” He asked, lip curling up in confusion, “But if they were a past classmate, or in our case, a future classmate, it's fine?”
“Exactly,” You shrugged, “I think that’s perfectly reasonable.”
“That’s actually very unreasonable.” He told you, “And also does not make much sense to me.”
“Well, good thing it’s a rule for myself.” You huffed, “You don’t have to understand, you just have to respect it.”
“So, if we were in separate classes, would you go out with me?” He asked.
“Probably, yes.” You admitted.
“But not now, because we are in the same class.”
“Yes, exactly.”
“So, if I ask you when the class is over, you’d say yes?” He leaned towards you, probing.
“Maybe.” You shrugged, “Who’s to say you won’t hate me by the end of the semester?”
“Well, considering you seem to be friends with the only people I know at this school, that would be rather unfortunate.” His voice lowered at the end, he was closer to you know. Very much within kissing distance. Right now there was nothing more you wanted than to feel his lips against yours. You know they’d be cool in comparison to the stagnant summer air.
You didn’t. Instead, you took a step back, and shoved your hand out into the distance between you, “Friends and classmates? Can you do that?” You asked, he studied your hand like the offer was written on it, then sighed.
“Fine, I can respect your rules,” He took your hand in his, firm and strong and cold, “Friends and classmates…for now.”
He moved his index finger softly across the inside of your wrist as he held your hand, goosebumps sprinting up your arm. You carried that feeling with you for the rest of the day.
#viktor x reader#viktor#viktor arcane#viktor smut#arcane#arcane college au#arcane modern au#jayce talis#mel medarda#caitlyn kiramman#vi#sky young#lest#lest arcane#transfem lest#house party fic#college au#fanfiction#fic#writing#my writing#Sit Next To Me Before I Go#cw: drug and alcohol use#viktor x female!reader#reagan writes
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Life Lessons - Part 2: The Anatomy of Fatherhood
[Story Collection] | [Prologue] [●] [Part 3🔴]
Max waited for Alan in the parking lot the following morning with a smile across his face and a milkshake in hand. The tall, muscular young man looked excited and hotter than the day before as Alan stepped out of his car. Max’s eyes sparkled enthusiastically, and his grin widened as Alan approached.
“Good morning, Professor Reynolds. You’re looking stunning today,” Max said, handing Alan the milkshake. “I thought you might like this. It’s a special blend made for big guys like us. It’ll keep you active throughout the day.”
Alan looked surprised but accepted the milkshake gratefully, unaware of the high-calorie, high-protein, and high-carb contents specifically designed for weight gain. He took a long sip, appreciating the creamy, rich flavor. Max only observed, remembering all the secret ingredients he had added to the milkshake and hoping they would make Alan’s big body much bigger.
“Thanks, Max. This is really good. A great way to start my day,” Alan said, kindly smiling at Max.
“It’s the least I can do after what you did for me yesterday.” Max smiled, his eyes lingering on Alan’s big ass in his tight pants.
Alan shivered at the mention of their intense sex session from the day before, his body still carrying the effects of Max’s massive dick buried deep inside him. “Please don’t mention that. It was fantastic, but I told you it was a one-time thing,” Alan said, thinking about his still-sore hole and bloated midsection.
“I know, but I can’t forget about it. Your ass felt so good,” Max said, stepping closer to Alan and making the older man shiver even more. “Let me carry your books to the classroom, Professor Reynolds,” he offered, grabbing Alan’s bag before he could protest.
As they walked to the classroom, Max couldn’t help but notice that Alan’s midsection still looked distended, and his shirt was tight around it. His smile grew wider, imagining the potential changes if Alan drank more milkshakes. Max could barely contain his arousal as he observed Alan’s body up and down, his dick stirring in his pants. Meanwhile, Alan drank the whole milkshake, struggling to ignore Max’s stares. He knew they couldn’t repeat the events from the day before, but the soreness in his hole only made him long for another taste of Max’s massive dick.
Alan started his lecture when they arrived at the classroom with the same enthusiasm as the day before. The students listened and asked several questions, making Alan smile. Then, one student raised his hand and asked about the homework Alan had left the day before, the one about male pregnancy. Alan chuckled and opened the space for the students to discuss the homework as they seemed eager to learn about the topic, even as a hypothetical lesson.
“Professor, I read something about a lawyer who supposedly got pregnant. He showed up at court with a huge belly, and at every court meeting, it was bigger. Then he missed a court meeting and showed up a few days later without the big belly and talking about babies. People thought he meant his wife had given birth, but some said he had the babies himself.”
Alan leaned against his desk thoughtfully, feeling the buttons of his shirt strain around his bloated middle. “Those are rumors. Unless you find something scientifically proven, this is only an interesting topic to discuss, not facts to study. If male pregnancy was possible, it would require significant biological and medical advancements, which we don’t have right now.”
Another student chimed in, “What about hormone treatments and uterus transplants? Could those make it possible?”
Alan grinned, appreciating their curiosity. “In theory, probably. Hormone treatments could prepare a man’s body for pregnancy, and a uterus transplant could provide the necessary environment for fetal development. However, I don’t think that the immune system of this man would accept the transplant and other physical changes required to support a pregnancy.”
After the conversation moved back to the regular anatomy lesson, Alan did his best to continue the lecture but found it difficult to concentrate with Max’s presence in the room. Max looked enormous among his classmates, and the sight only made Alan remember the young man’s massive dick rearranging his guts and the bull balls filling him up to the brim.
After the class ended, Max stayed behind, waiting until everyone else had left. He walked up to Alan and, with a playful smile, stole a quick kiss on his lips. Alan was left speechless, his heart racing as Max walked away. He couldn’t stop thinking about the massive muscle guy as something in his guts made him want to have more private anatomy lessons with him. Max had taught him that everything was possible. The massive dick had somehow fit into Alan’s guts, so everything was possible.
****
Over the next few weeks, Alan settled into a routine. He woke up and went to his job, and every morning, Max was at the parking lot with another delicious milkshake. Alan looked forward to those encounters despite the growing confusion about his feelings toward Max. A quick kiss after each class had become a part of their routine, a secret between them. As the days passed, Max added a soft caress to Alan’s belly to the quick kiss, which Alan loved.
Apart from his job and brief interactions with Max, Alan continued his regular life with his family. He was a dedicated husband and father who loved to spend quality time with his sons, James and Benjamin. Alan helped them with homework, played with them, and attended school events. He often surprised his wife with a romantic gift or a special dinner for the whole family. However, as the days passed, Alan felt somewhat tired most of the time, along with other changes.
As the weeks passed, Alan began to notice changes in his body. His midsection started to thicken even more, and his clothes grew tighter. It was initially subtle, but he knew he was getting thicker everywhere. His belt soon needed to be loosened a notch, and his shirts seemed to cling more than usual. He was somewhat concerned about gaining weight and feeling fatigued, but that didn’t stop him from drinking Max’s milkshake every morning and devouring everything his wife cooked for him in the evenings. The changes became more pronounced as the days passed, and everybody noticed.
Max was on cloud nine every time he saw Alan arrive in the morning. He was glad the milkshakes worked because Alan’s belly grew nicely while his whole body looked plumper. Max couldn’t stop looking at the Professor’s ample ass, which was growing fatter by the day and straining his pants. Their goodbye kiss after each class started getting more passionate as Max’s hand stayed on Alan’s belly for a little longer. Alan was concerned about growing a gut but loved it when Max touched his abdomen.
Alan’s once-chiseled abs were slowly being overshadowed by a layer of softness, giving his abdomen a rounder shape. His belly began to protrude, sticking a bit more every day, changing from a chiseled washboard to a soft pudge and, lately, taking on a firm bulge shape in a matter of weeks. His thighs and ass filled out, stretching the fabric of his pants. Even his arms and chest seemed to grow thicker, making Max lose his mind whenever he saw Alan’s newly developed body.
Alan couldn’t help but notice how his reflection had changed. His face looked slightly fuller, and his clothes strained against his growing frame everywhere. The weight gain was evident in his thicker waistline, but Alan couldn’t stop eating. His fatigue was still there, and he experienced some mild sickness a few times, but he was starving most of the time, so he ate more than ever. Max willingly upgraded the daily milkshake for a bigger one to see him getting thicker. Alan’s wife, Becca, cooked larger portions for her growing husband at home, loving his newly fuller frame.
Alan insisted he was going through bulking, but his wife insisted he looked fine with the off-season look. Alan finally got the courage to step on a scale on November 3rd, eight weeks after the first day of school—when Alan had the intimate encounter with Max—only to discover he had gained 20 pounds in eight weeks. Alan sighed at the numbers: 271.8 pounds, but he couldn’t help but smile.
As Alan playfully wrestled with his sons in the living room that evening, he was shirtless, enjoying the roughhousing and laughter. Alan lay on his back while the boys jumped and fought against his limbs. James tried to lift his dad’s leg, attempting to use a wrestling technique on him, but the leg was too heavy for the boy to move. Benjamin sat atop Alan’s pecs to fight the dad’s arms, but Alan playfully defeated them and pulled them into a bear hug.
“You still can’t defeat your old man,” Alan said, releasing the boys from the hug as they rested their heads on his body while catching their breaths.
“No fair, you’re sooooo big, Dad,” James said, smiling at his dad. “But one day, we’ll get bigger and stronger than you,” the boy added, and Alan smiled.
Then, Benjamin poked at Alan’s belly, his eyes wide with curiosity. “Dad, why is your belly getting so big?” he asked, looking at Alan while his hand rested on the round belly.
James giggled and also poked the firm roundness. “Yeah, Dad. It’s like a balloon, but harder,” he said, patting Alan’s round abdomen, which stuck out three or four inches from its former chiseled flatness.
Alan laughed, his cheeks flushing slightly. “Oh, you two. It’s just a little extra weight. It happens when you get older,” he said as he attempted to sit up with the boys in his arms, but he fell backward. He was used to doing that movement with the boys in his arms, his belly now representing an obstacle to his usual agility. “Okay, maybe a bit more than a little extra weight, but nothing to worry about. Your dad is still the strongest,” he added, lifting his arms to flex his biceps, which looked enormous with a layer of fat covering the muscles.
The boys continued to poke and prod, their innocent comments making Alan chuckle. But as the boys played with him, he couldn’t shake the concern about his recent weight gain. Alan had been eating too much for the last few weeks, but something inside him couldn’t help but think something else was happening. As Alan listened to his son’s jokes about his belly, he remembered the daily milkshake from Max, and he realized that everything had started on the day the massive guy had fucked him.
Later that night, as Alan lay in bed, his hands rested on his slightly rounded belly, feeling the firmness beneath his fingers. His mind raced with questions and possibilities, and his wife noticed something was bothering her man. She joined Alan’s hands to caress the growing belly, leaning in to kiss Alan’s lips. The big man smiled at her touch, feeling some of his concerns fade away.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Becca said, kissing Alan’s lips and caressing his belly. “You’re worried about getting fat, but... I think you look fantastic with this additional bulk on your big body. I love your big muscles, but this off-season look and this belly... it’s something else,” she added, lovingly rubbing Alan’s belly and making him feel better about his body.
****
The following morning, Alan was abruptly awakened by a sudden rush of nausea. He stumbled out of bed and barely made it to the bathroom before he started to throw up. The violent retching left him feeling weak and disoriented. He leaned against the cool tile wall, trying to gather his strength. After what felt like an eternity, Alan washed his face and returned to bed, but the dizziness lingered.
“Are you okay?” Becca asked as Alan lay in bed, sounding concerned.
Alan weakly smiled. “Just feeling a bit off. I might have caught a bug or probably ate too many portions of chicken parmesan last night.”
Becca stroked his hair gently and smiled at him. “That’s a possibility, but you’re a big man, and you need lots of food,” she added, caressing his belly. “Hold on, I’ll bring you a glass of water.”
Alan smiled as she left, closing his eyes to deal with the dizziness. Then, James and Benjamin entered the room and lay by Alan’s side, hugging him. The dad smiled when he felt his sons’ arms around his bloated middle, making him feel more comfortable.
“Dad, are you going to be okay?” James asked.
“You never get sick, Dad,” Benjamin added.
“I’ll be fine. I even feel better with you hugging me like this,” Alan said, and his sons hugged him tighter.
Becca brought him a glass of water and a cold compress for his forehead. Alan stayed in bed for a while, his family doing their best to make him comfortable. But the discomfort wouldn’t go away. Eventually, he decided that he needed to do something about it. Alan decided to go get some medicine for himself. Becca wasn’t sure if Alan could drive given his condition, but he insisted, saying he needed some fresh air.
Alan’s thoughts were a jumbled mess as he drove, and instead of heading to the pharmacy, he went to Max’s apartment. When he arrived, he knocked on the door, feeling nervous and somewhat dizzy. The door opened, revealing Max’s magnificent presence, fresh from the shower, wearing only a tiny towel around his waist. Water droplets still cling to his massive, muscular frame, glistening in the light. His broad chest and shoulders were slick with moisture, and his abs were like a sculpted landscape of muscle.
“Professor Reynolds? What are you doing here?” Max said, surprise evident in his voice, but his smile quickly returned as his dick stirred beneath his tiny towel.
Alan was momentarily speechless, his eyes roaming over Max’s magnificent physique as his dick hardened in his pants. He couldn’t help but feel a surge of desire and need, the sickness going away as his lust took over. Alan stepped forward without a word, pushing Max gently but firmly inside. Their lips met, passionately making out as the tiny towel fell to the ground, both men losing themselves in the heated moment. Max’s dick hardened against Alan’s plump body, and they couldn’t control themselves anymore.
Alan quickly took his clothes off, revealing his plump body in full glory to Max for the first time. Max’s dick throbbed hard when he saw how much thicker Alan’s body had become. He loved the round belly and softer pecs, but the Professor’s ample ass was driving Max crazy. They moved to Max’s bed, their hands exploring each other’s bodies. Alan felt a strange sense of comfort and belonging in Max’s arms despite the confusion in his mind. As he lay on his back and Max started kissing his round belly, Alan could only smile and long for more of Max’s attention.
Max continued kissing Alan’s thicker abdomen, giving the belly special attention but also playfully teasing the Professor’s nipples, which had been tender for the last few weeks. Then, Alan spread his legs and pulled Max into a passionate kiss. He immediately felt Max’s powerful arms lifting his legs and the enormous dick rubbing against his ass. Alan moaned in need and desperation for Max’s massive fuck tool.
Max smiled and pushed his hips forward, fitting half of his massive dick into Alan in a blink, making the Professor moan loud. Max pushed stronger and slid inch by inch into Alan’s tight hole, marveling at how stretchy it was. Once the 16 inches of dick were buried deep into Alan’s body, Max’s hips started bucking slowly, and both men moaned in pleasure. Max had loved their first time together, but since Alan’s body had grown so much, he was more turned on than ever. Meanwhile, Alan’s eyes rolled in his head, unable to talk or think clearly.
“You know,” Max said playfully, leaning in to feel Alan’s round belly against his chiseled abs. “You look like you’re pregnant, and I love it.”
Alan only responded with moans and groans of pleasure, his hands moving to his abdomen to rub it, feeling Max’s massive dick poking at his abdomen’s inner walls. Alan’s mind was blurry, but he rubbed his belly so passionately that it seemed like he believed he was indeed pregnant. This careful movement only turned Max on even more, making him pound even harder and faster and leaving Alan panting heavily. Max felt his balls getting incredibly full due to his arousal, and the idea of making Alan’s belly look rounder and bigger drove him crazy.
Max moaned loud, and his thrusts became erratic as his dick finally started shooting a tsunami of cum into Alan’s overstuffed midsection. The flow of cum was so strong that Alan could feel his skin getting tighter, struggling to accommodate the plump midsection. Alan’s own dick started shooting cum all over his belly, unable to contain the orgasm, as Max kept cumming buckets for a while longer. Both men were high on pleasure, and both wanted more, but they knew their situation was complicated.
Max slowly pulled his dick out of Alan and lay by his side in bed. Alan’s eyes were blank as he struggled to catch his breath, and his hands caressed his round midsection, which had grown an inch or two thicker due to Max’s cum. Both men were still panting, but Max wrapped his strong arms around Alan, their bodies perfectly fitting together. Alan rested his head on Max’s enormous chest, listening to the steady heartbeat while Max gently caressed his round belly.
Their breathing became steady again, and both enjoyed the loving embrace. Their naked bodies pressed tightly against each other, making both of them feel safe. They cuddled for what felt like an eternity, and Alan wanted to stay there forever. His sickness had gone away, and his hole still felt needy for Max’s massive dick.
Alan’s eyes wandered around the room as he lay in Max’s arms, and he noticed a camera on a tripod in the corner, surrounded by a ring light. “What’s that for?” he asked, nodding towards the camera setup.
Max blushed, a faint pink coloring his cheeks as he hugged Alan tighter. “Oh, that,” he said, chuckling. “I won’t lie to you. That’s for my OnlyFans page.”
Alan looked at Max’s blushing face and smiled at the big guy. “OnlyFans? Really? Isn’t that the page where people sell naked pictures and videos?” Alan said, playfully moving his hands over Max’s massive pecs.
Max shrugged with a shy smile on his face. “Yeah. That’s what I do. It’s how I pay for school, my apartment, food, and pretty much everything else,” he admitted. “People pay to see pictures and videos of me. I guess there’s a big market for guys with muscles like mine. And I know they would love to see my dick; many people have asked, but I have some limits.”
“And you earn a lot for that?” Alan’s playful interest grew. “Should I join even if I’m beyond the limits already?”
Max laughed and pulled Alan even tighter. “It pays really well. I mean, it’s not something I tell everyone, but it’s been a good way to make money and support myself,” he said, feeling Alan’s dick stirring between them. “You don’t need to join. You get the whole package for free.”
Alan smiled and kissed Max again, enjoying the embrace as they cuddled tighter. He closed his eyes, letting the comfort wash over him, ignoring the sickness and overall discomfort to focus on the strange, unexpected bond between them. Max’s hands never left Alan’s belly, making the Professor feel great about his growing body. He knew Becca liked it, and Max loved it, so everything would be great if his body kept getting even thicker.
However, as he drove back home a few hours later, his hand moving over his rounder abdomen, full of Max’s cum, Alan couldn’t stop thinking about his sickness and its relation to his weight gain. He decided to schedule an appointment with his doctor to discard anything serious. In the meantime, he preferred to focus on his family and the fantastic secret encounters with his massive, muscular student, Max.
...
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ahhhh i love replying and seeing your comments!!!
i love love love woosan, i think theyre sweeties and im happy you are feeling like in love with them. they really are painting being with them as shiny. thats also such a good question - how are they handling yn being hurt?? theyre so down bad... i wonder why they havent been seen hmmhmhmhmhmhhmhmhmhmhmhmm lolol ;)
And yessss it was Mingi!! Mingi is so down bad, hes totally being stalking her for like weeks/months at this point and boy is like obsessed. i dont have any secret surprises regarding that - he just liked her vibes lol and heard a lot from woosan. he's also a soft boy so i think he found her and dancing and everything romantic.
jongho is sooooo polite, hes BEST BOY. and omg i love that you noticed that bc i really wanted to emphasis hes like being a lil creeepyyyy. like how does he know her nameeeee? i went back and forth wonder if he should even say his name but i feel like he would bc this is their yn!! lol
i also need yunho lol - even though yh was one of the more difficult characters to write so far. im so used to soft boy yunho irl! im also really happy you enjoyed the eerie vibes of the mansion. i referenced the mv and oldie mansions like hearst castle for inspo. and this is the "ghost mansion" after all! the butlers are scary! i wanted to incorporate how the mv had all these masked men without the mask part - i hope i portrayed that vibe!
also thats so interesting what you think about the yunho conflict!! id take anything yunho does/says with a grain of salt. he's sus for real (just like all the guys tbh - theyve promised over and over to keep her safe but we know what happens in the end).
woosansang are down bad, in deep. i think theyre position of in the kim family allows them to be though. i havent touched on this that much but woosansang are the more socialites of the family - but we will learn more about the others. especially with the introduction of sh and hj soon!
i love the present day scenes, its such a whiplash back to reality. its fun seeing how this devotion turned so deadly. jongho is baby. hes the spoiled baby boy who is a bit warped by seongjoong tbh. but he loves yn.
and hmmm, interesting noticeeeee. she tried leaving but why? we have some time til we see the answers to that but its definitely an interesting notice!
i cant wait for matz!!! i love matz and they totally do have more aura than yunho! theyre the kingpins; the queen and king of the chessboard for sure! i love what ive had wrote so far for them!!
thank you again for reading and commenting!!! these comments bring me so much joy!!!!!
like a waltz⎯ part 4: piqué.
pairing(s): ateez ot8 x fem!reader; this chapter focuses on all the boys & reader except my beloved matz :(( (their time is coming.) series summary: when 8 mysterious bachelors arrive to town and fall for your charms, will you be able to reach your goal to be prima ballerina or be dragged into a selfish waltz between love and obsession? glimpse: As trouble arises and your patrons spend more time with you, more attention gets locked on you. Their interest is thoroughly piqued by you. warnings/tags: inspired by Ateez’s Ice on my Teeth MV & Teasers, Mafia AU, Ballet AU, early 1900’s AU with some divergences in tech advancements (i.e rule of cool), 3rd person POV, use of YN, mxm, polyteez, MATURE topics, canon typical violence (choking, fighting, punching, etc), canon typical gore, blood, death, guns, explicit language, stalking, alcohol, smoking, bribery, lack of privacy, allusions to exploitation in ballet, implied sexual themes, suggestive themes, kissing, intimacy, angst, fluff, voyeurism sort of, obsession, infatuation, sugar daddy themes, unequal power dynamics, food descriptions, missing people, polyamory, pain, medical drug usage, traumatic injury, injuries, reader discretion advised & 18+ readers only! Let me know if I should tag anything else! word count: 20.4k previous chapter <- -> next chapter series masterlist
piqué ; french pronunciation: [piːk], ‘pricked’… or to stimulate interest or curiosity.
Creeping out of the stage-door hours after a performance was a normal thing for ballerinas. The alley way was something all the girls were familiar with just as they were with the foyer de la danse. Its damp cobblestone, nearby rotting trashcans, and the barely lit path was their red-carpet entrance. They were not allowed the luxury of entering through the grand doors of the opera house with its tall columns, brightly lit lamps, and the many steps towards its shiny, gold-painted extravagance The only days they were allowed to enter through the front doors were when the opera house was closed and they were rehearsing. The petit rats were only welcomed with glamour when the rich weren’t nearby. They had the back-entrance. This was the ugly underbelly of the pretty façade.
Dressed in her pretty coat and her warmest layers, she had said goodbye to San and Wooyoung ages ago. But then, the Madame had spoken to her and a few ballerinas in her office, relaying some notes, insisting on the girls performing the rectifications immediately. So, there they stood in the rehearsal room, satin-ribboned shoes laced up over thick winter stockings and their day-dresses on. The ballerinas repeated their motions: turning in pirouettes, performing jetes, and piquing across the hall. It was only after the city’s clock tolled twelve times that the Madame allowed them to stop with a slam of her cane into the wooden floorboards. Then, after confirming each dancer had paid their weekly bill (YN smiled, wiping sweat from her brow as she was told her patrons paid once more), they were allowed to leave. The other ballerinas had all scurried home by the time she had gathered her bag and coat once more.
It was late into the early hours, past midnight and not yet morning when she finally left the opera house and crept out into the alley.
Pushing the heavy door open with her shoulder, the chill of night soaked into her bones with a whoosh. Shivering a bit, she adjusted her pretty coat closer to her body and prepared herself for the walk home. Her boots click clacked on the icy pavement as she exited the mouth of the alley. Looking this way and that, the streets were abandoned. Seemingly abandoned. Some of the candle-lit lamps even had fizzled out in the evening with no leeries about to relight them. She continued to walk along, humming softly until she heard the noise. Loud panicked whispers. A crackling fire. The crinkling of a tin-barrel. The smell of smoke. Ahead of her, dark smoke was tumbling out of a nearby alleyway, firelight lighting the brick-walls. She paused, her foot-steps slowed.
Click. Clack.
“You fucked up the deal?” It was frightened.
Click, clank.
“I didn’t mean to; I didn’t mean to. Johnny stole some cash from them, and then-“
“I don’t care! We needed this deal – the money, before he arrives – before we all lose –“
There was the squealing of car wheels and the smell of hot gasoline in the air. YN froze, her footsteps stopping. A car door slammed open, and there was a new click-clank of boots. A startled yell, a shuffle of footsteps, voices overlapping; there was a thud of a body hitting the icy ground with a yell. YN held her breath.
“Gentlemen,” the newcomer’s voice was gravely. There were heavy footfalls and a scrambling sound of someone walking backwards. Something hit a tin-can.
“B-B-Boss.”
“Where is it?”
“Oh, about that –“ the other chuckled.
“My money isn’t no laughing matter.” There was a thud like someone being shoved into a wall violently. The man groaned in pain. “You think I’m someone to be crossed? Where. Is. It?” the intimidating deep voice asked, lowly.
YN swallowed, frozen at the alley way’s entrance just out of view. When would she be able to pass? She needed to get out of here quiet and without being noticed. Or else… she was scared what would happen. This wasn’t the usual gang-dealings. Gangs would fight back, fist with fist. These men were scared.
“We can get it to you- We can- just give me some time, boss!”
“This is the second time,” the graveled voice grumbled; there was a low whistle, sharp and piercing.
And then it was quiet. There wasn’t even pleading, no whimpering.
Silence.
YN’s breath was held as she tentatively peered out from her spot. A sliver of her face was visible against the brickwork wall of the alley way. Smoke hazed the figures, but she could just make out the broad shoulders of the deep-voiced man, cornering another man to the brick wall. The man’s hand scratched at the many-ringed fingers that grasped his throat mercilessly. A gagging sound was heard. Not one of the gang-member’s allies moved to help them. Instead, they were all staring at the automobile.
A truck was reversed into the alley way. Black and large, it shined and flickered in the firelight. Its back-doors pushed open with a click, and men in dark masks tumbled out. Large, intimidating suited figures held bulky guns she had never seen before. YN had seen muskets, shotguns, and even a revolver once. These weren’t that. These were heavy, mechanical, and dangerous-looking. They piled into the alley, the metal of their weapons glinting in the firelight of the makeshift-barrel fire. The frightened figures strewn about the alley way were frozen-still; a few on the ground pleaded, praying. The masked men pointed their weapons at them warningly.
Her heart rate jumped.
This was more than just a gang fight – this seemed methodical. Frightened, her eyes darted to the other side of the alley, her path home just a few steps away. But she’d have to reveal herself… While they were distracted, she’d run. She would. She needed to get out of here quick. Like a mouse, she’d escape when the cats played with their prey.
There was the clink of a car door opening and a metallic thunk of it shutting firmly. A sigh echoed out into the air, disappointed.
“Please, boss.” The figure held to the wall managed to splutter out.
His captor pushed him up the wall with a violent thud before finally letting go. The man gasped and gaped like a fish as the dark figure took a step backwards to look towards his accomplice. The figure exiting the car didn’t have the dark masks like the others. In this light and smoke, she could only make out the shape of him. Clean cut short hair, the trail of cigarette smoke, the gleam of his teeth. He tossed the cigarette to the icy floor.
Click, clack.
Click, clack.
Click, clack, BANG.
A gunshot went off. His hand was outstretched in a flash; the pistol in his grasp smoking. A man on the ground let out a yelp of pain; his blood splattered against ice and stone. His hand grasped at his leg helplessly in agony.
“Shall we send a message to your pals?” the new man insisted, cocking his red-hot gun again and aiming it at the man his companion had just released from a chokehold.
There was pleading; names babbled over one another until they were unrecognizable. “Sir! Mercy please!”
“I think we should,” the deep-voiced man commented, nearly growling out his words. “We knew you scum thought this was some game. And here you made it all messy.”
His teeth gleamed and glinted with his snarl.
“Let’s make it messy in return.” He finished, nodding at the other.
There was a signal, and the men fired at the others at the two tall figures’ command. Gunfire, loud, fast, and hot, blazed out across the alley way. Her voice escaped her, screaming out. Hiding quickly out of danger, YN jumped back.
“What’s that?” a voice bit out. “You got some dame in this? Find her. Get her!”
They had heard her. Ice flooded her veins. She turned to run, only to run face first into a broad chest. She screeched out again, her hand raising to muffle it. By the looks of his attire, he wasn’t one of the gang members from the alley way. No, this gentleman was dressed nicely in a midnight-black tuxedo with a black cummerbund sash around his waist like he had been at the opera house. His face was firm, almost furrow browed as he righted her with a careful hand on her shoulder. He couldn’t be in this mess; he looked so polished and unaware.
“Mis—” He didn’t get to finish his statement as she interrupted him. Her hands shoved unlady-like against his sturdy chest, wrinkling what had been previously a fine-pressed white button-up.
“We’ve got to get out of here.” She hushed. “Now!”
Her eyes dripped of innocence, of protectiveness. Her fear was palpable. His intense brown orbs met hers and, without hesitation, he nodded. Surprisingly, despite his height and stature, he let her push and pull him away from the alley way and back towards the front of the now-abandoned opera house. She tugged him by the hand up the stairs, so they could stand hidden by the columns.
Her boots click clacked with each step of the stairs. More gunshots rang out; footsteps followed after them. She stumbled a bit, yelping; the mystery man’s free hand reached out to support her waist before he pulled her into the cover of the tall columns.
She could hear gunfire echo through the street, and she jumped with each bang, bang, bang. The stranger’s hand rose to duck her closer to the column rather than hide against it himself. Curling into herself, into the man’s side, the column, her eyes shut tight. This was a nightmare. The masked figures would surely come after them. They’d pull him away and then her, and what would happen next? She was shaking. There was yelling, shouting. She flinched. A loud whisper.
“Maknae?”
No reply. There was a crunching of snow, the moaning of men in pain. There was a long pause; she didn’t dare open her eyes. And then, there was the sound of footsteps walking away, heaving and thuds of something, and finally the squeal of car wheels going far away from the scene. The smell of gun-smoke and burnt rubber and gardenias (her rescuer’s cologne she realized) was all that was left.
A silence tumbled over the square like the cold water of an ocean’s tide, overwhelming and discombobulating. She stayed frozen for a long until a single finger poked at her shoulder.
“Miss?” he prompted softly; he shook her shoulder firmly then.
His tone sounded nervous, almost afraid. Of course he would be; she was afraid! It was frightening to almost be caught up in trouble. They had been so very close to being looped into a gang fight. She swore she’d never go down that alley or any alley again - ever. Shortcuts home be damned.
“It’s okay. You can open your eyes.” His voice was melodic, soft. Warm in this icy cold.
Her eyes opened tentatively, and she took in the sight of the gentleman in front of her.
He looked down at her with those intense deep-brown eyes, his dark hair mussed over his forehead. She could see his brows furrow at her in concern; his tongue peeked out to swipe over his top lip. His clothes, presumably for the ballet, were wrinkled by her man-handling.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, glancing her over with a quick look.
He didn’t let his gaze linger, but he hadn’t let his hand up from her shoulder either. She swallowed and shook her head as she shifted her shoulders, physically gathering herself as she replied.
“I’m okay, sir. Are you?” she asked politely. Her voice trembled still.
His face smoothed into something she’d almost call relief before he nodded. “I am.” He glanced out at the road. “They’re gone.”
He spoke to reassure her, the tone firm and resolute.
“Do you want to go to the police?” he asked slowly.
He seemed not too disheveled as he took a few steps away from her. His eyes remained on the nearby street, monitoring it. There was no sounds of moaning or pain. What had happened to the gang members? The gun fire was horrible; she hadn’t seen much. Except for red, red, red. No. No! She didn’t want to know. She didn’t want any reason for those men to come find her! They heard her. They had. Her hands rubbed over face; hours old makeup and sweat was sticky against her palms. It felt like blood for a moment.
It sent chills up her spine.
“Miss YN?” her rescuer prompted again, dragging her attention to him.
“No, sorry,” she babbled out. “No.” she confirmed firmly. Her arms wrapped around herself, tugging her coat closer.
“Are you sure?” the man’s brow raised.
“It’s easier to ignore these things,” she muttered out. “Safer. To not get involved.”
The man hummed low in his throat, melodically.
“Thank you,” she said after a moment, trying to shake off her fear. “For shielding me up here. And running away.”
“You warned me. You saved me I guess,” he chuckled. “Thank you.”
She smiled shakily before glancing back at the now-quiet streets. Her hands clutched her coat closer.
“Will you be alright, Miss YN?” he asked.
Her nod was preoccupied.
“I will be,” she told him, glancing up at him. He fit right in with the glamour of the opera house. She wondered why she had never seen him before. He was memorable. His face was handsome; his form strong in a different way to San’s but still imposing.
“I’ll be on my way. It’s late and I don’t want trouble. I’m glad that we are both aliv-okay.” she corrected.
“I understand,” he said. “You don’t want a chaperone?”
She didn’t even know him. She wished Wooyoung or San was here. She shook her head, and she took a step away, fiddling with her coat.
“I’ll be okay. Good night…”
“Jongho,” he answered, even if she wasn’t asking. “My name is Jongho.”
“Jongho,” she repeated. “Thank you again.”
He nodded, bowing at the waist.
“Good night, YN.”
He’d whisper, “stay safe,” but he knew he’d be following after her in just a little while. After all, her designated shadow was busy tonight, too busy taking care of business to watch over her. So, the once-street-mutt Jongho had been sent in his stead to watch over his lady. And Jongho couldn’t help but be curious about her. Even more now that he had held her in his arms and seen the sweetness of her soul in her eyes.
YN was safe in her bed that night when she realized she had never told him her name.
And yet he had said it.
-
Her motions were sloppy. Her pointe was weak. And her mind lost. She plied.
“Are you alright, honey?” San asked.
It was the next night - before showtime. San and Wooyoung somehow weaseled themselves into the boudoir before any other patrons could. Sometimes she wondered how much coin that costed them. The Madame had been strict with no patrons before shows – allowing the fragile privacy to warm up and prepare for the shows. It was so easily broken by the two men, but their eyes were only locked on her. And when she turned away to shimmy into a costume or fix a corset or a loose ribbon, they’d respect her. Glancing aside no matter how much temptation itched at their hands.
Wooyoung had offered once to lace her up, and he was met with a look of sharp disbelief – even if it was shadowed by a sweet blush. He hadn’t asked again, but he looked forward to the day he would be able to lace her up… and unlace her.
Tonight, they stood leaning against the barre as she continued to warm up. But, of course, San had caught her shakiness, her focus weaning.
His hand slide across her waist slowly, thumb caressing up and down.
“I’m okay,” she said honestly, leaning into his support as she lowered her leg off the barre. She flexed her feet and rose up on to a pointe for a moment before sighing out and turning to face the two men.
San’s hand ghosted after her waist, guiding her close as she came to settle between her patrons. She rested her bum on the barre between San and Wooyoung. Her pristine white costume made her look like an angel between two black-suited demons. Wooyoung flicked his cigarette bud into an ash tray he’d stolen taken from the front lobby of the opera house.
“I’m sensing a but,” Wooyoung teased. His fingers trailed lower that they had before, grazing over her the small of her back closer and closer ‘til… San slapped his hand, albeit lightly. She didn’t chuckle at his joke. In fact, it was almost like he didn’t joke at all. He frowned.
“Hm, swanette?” he encouraged again.
“It’s—things have been different around town recently. I just got scared last night,” she admitted, fingers trailing back and forth over the barre pole supporting them. Restlessly. “I think its just shaking me up today.”
“How so?” San asked inquiringly.
“I don’t know. I’ve seen two gun fights in the past month while walking home. That’s not normal. There’s all sorts of kidnappings or disappearances. It’s just,” she shivered, thinking of the fear that had clung to her bones since last night. “Scary.” Her arms wrapped around herself.
Wooyoung frowned, his thumb going to rub at her arm soothingly. He didn’t like her fear. He liked her smiling far more.
“You didn’t go to the police, honey?” San asked, brow pursing. Wooyoung glanced over at San.
“No,” she admitted. “It’s—not my business.” She shook her head a bit, not agreeing completely with her phrasing. “I mean, that’s how it’s always been. Ignore, walk faster, try to get away before being seen. If you mind your business, they’ll mind yours… unless you’re involved. I’m not. Never have been. But… there have never been gun fights. I’ve seen fist fights, even switchblades being pulled.” She shook her head again. “I sound silly. But I know there were gangs around town – I know the familiar faces of troublemakers, their tells – and they’re afraid. And if the monsters are afraid--”
She trailed uncertain. She sighed out again before her hands went to squeeze both of their hands that rested on the barre.
“Sorry, I’m just shaken up, that’s all. I’m spiraling a bit,” she reconciled. “Sorry.”
Wooyoung was first to cut her off. “No, no, pretty girl. Don’t apologize.” He soothed. “We don’t want you scared.”
“You weren’t hurt,” San clarified. It didn’t even sound like a question but still he said it.
She nodded in agreement. “Nope,” she showed her bare arms and twisted this way and that. As if it’d prove she was unharmed.
“Someone helped me,” she admitted.
San raised his brow at Wooyoung before the shorter began to fuss over her.
“My scared swanette,” Wooyoung pouted, huddling close. He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he wrapped her in his arms. “Shall we walk you home from now?” he murmured. “San and I will be your personal bodyguards.”
“Uh, huh,” she teased lightly. “I’m sure you will.”
They’ve only walked her home on occasion. She knew it was in the opposite direction of the Ateez House. She didn’t expect them to walk her home. She wanted them to.
“Trust me, you’ll never get hurt around me if I walked by your side,” San promised, pressing a kiss to her cheek as well.
“I’ll make the ground you walk and dance sacred.” Wooyoung whispered. “Drench it in holy water for you.”
She laughed at that.
“Stop teasing me,” she giggled. “You’re being mean.”
“We’re not teasing, honey.” San pressed another kiss to her cheek.
“I’m sure.”
“Shall I carry you home instead? Like a damsel.” Wooyoung teased, arms sweeping underneath her legs.
Wooyoung was growing bolder by the day, and it made her cheeks flush. She let out a shriek of laughter, dragging the eyes of the other ballerinas their way. San raised his brow at them. Unbeknownst to YN, San seemed to harden when looking at anyone other than Wooyoung or her. He spun her playfully. Her mind rightfully distracted from her fear finally.
“You’ll never step foot on ground again while I’m around, Miss Swanette.”
-
It was dark in the restaurant’s backroom. Smokey and lowlight with flickering candlelight. The servers, the cooks, everyone had been pushed out, locked out. The long table was bare of any meal. Water in crystal glasses sat in front of each man. At the head of the table, there was a decanter of amber liquid with two empty pristine glasses. It was quiet, so quiet that the squeaking of rats could be heard in the floor board. Nervous eyes looked this way and that; bodies shifted and fidgeted. The door opened, and all eyes were sucked to into their orbit.
Two figures stood side by side. Matching Rolexes glimmered on their wrists as they both adjust their suits. One shoved their gold-lined, midnight-black suit’s sleeves up with little finesse while the other took his time, slowly peeling off his suit jacket before rolling his white button-up sleeves up. Slinging his discarded jacket across one of his broad shoulders, he then adjusted his black tie, a long silver ring encompassed his pointer finger of his dominant hand. It almost looked like a claw. The other rolled his neck, the glimmer of multiple gold and pearl necklaces matching his sneer.
Tall and taller glanced down the long table. Young and old sat there; most didn’t look like they had much. Fake luxurious hats with feathers, rings that didn’t sparkle quite right, and sweat-stained pinstriped suits. Some did have money. Their fat fingers rubbing their gold necklaces nervously. All of them shifted in their seats as the duo approached. One on each side of the table, they prowled.
“Gentlemen,” the one who spoke out first nearly growled his words in a snarl.
Rather than walk with his chin high like his companion, he tilted his chin to glare down the table. Dark eyes made darker still by anger. There was a laziness in his swagger as he walked behind one row of chairs; a hand trailed over each leathered chair.
“We have some… requests,” the taller one stated, a smile coming to his glimmering mouth.
-
YN watched as Imara grab Dohyun’s hand. Her words were hushed in the loud boudoir, unreadable. But she could see the panic, the tears twinkling on her lash line.
‘Don’t do this please.’
She could read the pretty dancer’s lips.
The bank owner yanked his arm away, harshly. As if they hadn’t touched Imara’s body up and down like it was his for over a year. He glanced about as he spoke, mouth moving too quick for her to catch any words.
He shook his head again as he turned and left the boudoir.
Imara had to pay for her dues the next day for the first time in over a year.
-
Wooyoung stood by his promise. Each night since, he or San walked YN home, winding through the streets with their fingers interlaced. Most nights it was him. He liked the shared time for just them he said. Sometimes, he grew daring and would wrap his arms around her waist, chin on her shoulder. Like two lovers taking a stroll.
The following nights had been relatively calm; there were no gun fights, no gangsters. In fact, the streets seemed boring. Not a soul was seen around them except for, of course, her loyal following shadow. Not that she’d know. He was like a ghost, sneaking around the corners and alleys to keep them in his sight.
From the darkened corners of the streets, the figure followed after them night after night. His annoyance only growing as Wooyoung’s touches grew bolder in the solitude of night. With no one there, the idea of public decency was lost to the second-youngest. It wasn’t anything explicit. He just was touchy. Touchier than if it were daylight. Holding her closer, his touches longer, longing.
Longingly, he wanted to hold her; he wanted her to curl into his arms. Her shadow-man scowled deeply. Wooyoung truly was a brat he decided. Still, he continued to trail them from far away. But every now and then, Wooyoung would turn and give him a wink over his Swanette’s head. His hand sliding up her back, slow and teasing; his fingers tickled and trailed lower and lower on her waist. He whispered something in her ear, and she giggled.
Wooyoung’s smirk was triumphant as his eyes flickered over to the shadow in the alleyway. Wooyoung was teasing. Teasing both of them.
She’d huddle closer after, and the stalking figure would whisper out a curse. Jealousy itched at his stomach, and he was sure to return home with a scowl. He wasn’t used to not getting what he wanted, and, while he was a gentleman, his thoughts felt not-so gentle. He wanted to hold her. Kiss her. Have her love him. He’d give her anything she wanted. He was already so weak for her, and they hadn’t even met.
He buried himself in the work that was piled on his desk, thanks to Hongjoong. Still, he’d get distracted, imagining fantasies of him and her. He spun a ring on the desk, the ‘S’ emblem on it taunting him.
Would he be able to see her perform soon? Seonghwa and Yeosang had visited. Even Jongho had. Maybe he’d convince Hongjoong to let him go to the foyer de la danse like Wooyoung and San were able to. Why couldn’t he?
The young man knew the answer like a bitter liquor.
Later that evening, Wooyoung and him would meet face-to-face. A smirk on his kiss-swollen lips as he popped his head into the higher-rank’s office.
“Had a nice stroll?”
-
It was a Friday, and Julia with the red hair had been given a private dressing room. That was all anyone could whisper and gossip about.
It wasn’t large. It didn’t even have a mirror or dressing table yet. It was a small closet of a space. But it was hers - exclusively. Her name on a golden plaque had been placed on the door with the title ‘Featured Ballerina’ etched below it. There was space for more.
The entire ballet troupe knew it had been paid for by her patron and wasn’t a result of any promotion amongst the troupe. She wasn’t prima; there was no way for her to achieve higher with no new show to audition for. It was all an act. It wasn’t talent. It was money and favoritism.
Meanwhile, Imara was despondent, cold as ice to anyone that gave her a pitying look.
Patrons came and went like the seasons – even if one thought they’d last forever, winter always came.
It made talking to either woman difficult. Julia was high on her excitement. The way she walked was like she owned the world. She would run off to her closet the moment she came off stage, even if there was hardly room for two people in the space, let alone warming up or staying warm. But, as YN exited stage left, she and the red head stumbled into one another with a clank.
They both yelped, flinching at the pain that radiated up their shoulders.
“Sorry,” YN apologized before her gaze rose and realized who it was.
“Hey Julia.” Her tone was sharper, less friendly than. Almost icy.
The red-head rubbed her shoulder scowling at the other before her own face dropped into an attitude of sorts.
“YN.”
It wasn’t said fond or with blooming respect like it had been before. Where was the respect that had been trickling down with San and Wooyoung’s support? Was it because Julia was still ever-higher than her? Was it because she had a dressing room now?
Maybe it was because they spotted one another outside of the ballet with their patrons by their side.
“Why did you lie to me?” YN spouted out, brows furrowing.
The other ballerina laughed out, too loud. She was almost heard over the orchestra playing a lofty tune as the White Swan jete’ed about on stage nearby.
“What are you talking about?” the other replied, dramatically hushing her tone.
“You said your patron never invited you out of the ballet.” YN stated. “But I saw you at the tennis match.”
There was a condescending tut that escaped the other, and it made YN’s eyes fall into slits.
“Oh, honey,” it was said cruelly. “You need to catch up. If you want to be like them, not be theirs, you must play like them.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve gone on plenty of outings with my patron.” She stated, fixing her hair.
“So, you lied,” YN clarified again, simply. What wasn’t clicking? She lied to her.
“I’m not invited; I’m expected,” she said. “I go where I want.”
Semantics. It made her roll her eyes.
“He pays for you just as mine pay for me,” YN commented. “Why didn’t you just tell me it was normal? I was worried.”
Julia finally sighed out.
“Listen, YN. Liars are the only thing that fill those rich homes. Even your boys.” She bit out. “You better learn the game, how to play it, and how to tell if someone is lying to you if you want to be upper-class so badly, YN. Otherwise, you’ll just keep playing pretend, and nobody wants a pretender.”
Then, without another word, the red head pushed past her with a huff.
-
The game. Julia had called it a game.
YN had always looked at the boudoir as a show. A performance between patron and protégé. Usually explicit. But Julia saw it as a game. What type of game YN wondered?
Was it chess? A game of wits? A game of checkers? A game of hopping to the next best thing?
Wooyoung and San didn’t see her as a game. This she knew in her bones. Their sweet words were too sweet. Their genuine excitement and care were a balm to her. But then, she glanced aside at Imara who was like a lost sock without her patron, use ambiguous and left lonely in the corner of the busied boudoir. She had thought the same thing about her patron.
Doubt crawled in. Trickled in her veins. Even as the pair of men strode into the boudoir after the show per usual. San fixed his vest, the white button up loosened and less appropriate, but pleasing to the eye. Wooyoung finished his drink, handed to him by the bulkier man obediently as they walked.
“Hello you two,” YN greeted.
“Hi, pretty lady,” Wooyoung replied. “How was your evening? You were lovely as always.”
“It was good.” she said.
Wooyoung presented his cheek to her, expectedly. With their increase in dates and walks home, he’d become openly affectionate now. Not that she fought against it. If she didn’t press a kiss, he’d pout but when she did a pleased hum would reverberate through his chest like a cat’s purr. It made her beam; his happiness became her pleasure.
She pecked his cheek, quick. He grinned and quickly engulfed her in an embrace. His lips danced over her face. Tiny millions of butterfly kisses were pressed over her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. Giggles consumed her; his quirking lips hummed as he worked his way down to her jaw, underneath it, her neck, to her collarbone, before he was pressing fond kisses over her pearl necklace and up the column of her throat. Each one sent a tingle running through her.
“No pain?” San questioned, aware of how easily she bruised and ached.
She shook her head distractedly.
“Only a few more shows left anyways if so.” She commented. He gave her a scolding look. “Training will be less strenuous than performing. Surprisingly.” She chuckled, gasping out as Wooyoung pressed a deep kiss to the spot beneath her jaw. Not quite a hickey but close.
“Good,” the man replied. She needed a break San thought. He saw how her toes were a bright red through her tights.
“It’ll be nice to dance something new soon – but it’s bittersweet.” She just managed to get out.
San hummed out in agreement, pressing his own kiss to her forehead as he wriggled Wooyoung away from his honey to let her begin to dress into every-day clothing once more. She gave him a thankful look as she quickly went to change nearby. Her face was flushed, and her heart raced. How was her hair even more mussed from her bun? He hadn’t even touched it.
“I know,” San replied. “You must be excited?”
She smiled as she shed out of her feathers.
“Closing night is always such an experience,” she taunted.
It was. Full of celebrations, champagne, and influx of patrons spending their last pennies of the season.
“Will you be there?”
“Of course, baby,” Wooyoung cooed from San’s arms. She saw him ghost a kiss across his neck.
“We’ll be there for every closing and opening from now on.”
-
Wooyoung sat by her side, her hand in his as he gestured to the menu about this tea and that americano and this croissant. Their spread was already far more than either of them could finish. Large oozy cookies, steaming croissants with chocolate fillings, savory bite-sized tarts, and a large sandwich Wooyoung had already cut in half. One for him and one for her.
They had begun to have more dates like this; Wooyoung favored more intimate places such as cafes where they could cozy up close and share treats and talk while San liked to show her off at tennis matches and outings of public attention. She had liked it – but she couldn’t help but hear Julia’s voice in the back of her head.
Did she know her patrons?
Wooyoung smiled brightly and talked easily with her now; an air of comfortability was palpable as his fingers played with hers.
“Wooyo,” she prompted tentatively, interrupting his yapping.
“Hm?” he looked up from the menu, his face inquiring. Brows raised, and mouth squeezed shut.
“I have a question.”
“Ask away, swanette.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly before letting go and flexing his arms to resettle his sitting form to look at her more attentively.
“Why is it you introduced yourself as a Jung? And not a Kim?” she asked.
“Force of habit, really,” he admitted. “Hongjoong insists on us sharing his name.” He raised his coffee to his lips, taking a sip.
“Because he helped you when you needed him?” she recalled.
His grin grew wide, amused. “Yeah.” He paused, biting his lip for a moment before he scooted closer. “He took me in basically. Which is why I consider him family, close as thieves just like Yeosangie and Sannie.”
“He’s at Ateez House?” she queried, fingering a cookie. Tearing it up but not really eating as she thought.
How many were at that mansion? Yeosang, San, Wooyoung… Hongjoong and Seonghwa as well?
“There’s a lot of you there.”
He nodded as he picked up one of the crumbs she was making and pressed it to her lips. His fingertips were warm from the hot ceramic of his coffee cup. He smiled fondly as she nibbled at it. Before raising the rest of the crumb to his mouth, licking at the chocolate melting on his fingertips.
She licked her lips as she watched, chocolate fragrant on her tongue.
“There are eight of us,” he told her. “Eight men in one house, you can imagine the chaos.”
He spoke as if they shared an apartment and not a grand ‘haunted’ mansion.
“What does he do?” she mumbled, half focusing on her attempt to solve the mysteries that had plagued Ateez House’s occupants.
“Eh, a lot of things,” he sucked at the crumbs on his thumb before reaching out a wiping a smudge at the corner of her lips. “This and that. Loves art and shows and spectacle. Is a bit of a collector, more than Sannie is – you know, San loves pretty things.”
She already knew where this was going.
“Like me, Wooyoung?” she teased, beating him to his flirt.
“Just like you, Swanette.” He nudged her tea her way, urging her to drink before it went cold. “C’mon, try this too.”
And like that, her mind was sucked into his fancies as he fed her a warm tartlet that tasted richer than any food she had ever had.
-
It was the first night Wooyoung and San would be unable to walk her home. Wooyoung was good at keeping his promise; he walked her home for many many nights. His babbling softened with his sleepiness which was cute. It was worth it to press a kiss to her lips before she went inside, and even more worth it when he caught the shadow of a figure watching them. He’d blow him a kiss – behind her back that is.
She was anxious to walk alone. Her stomach churned at the though. Wooyoung had apologized as they rushed off to something that needed their attention – him and San. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, promising she’d be okay. He’d see her tomorrow. Walk in the light and you’ll be fine, little bird. As if she walked anywhere else anymore – all her shortcuts scared her now.
It was too late to call for a carriage or a buggy to take her home, so it was the only way. Unless she wanted to sleep on the uncomfortable settee in the boudoir (and most likely be kicked out by the janitor early in the morning. She could hear the Madame already. “This isn’t an orphanage, Miss YN.” Despite the selection of orphans that made up their ranks.)
So, YN hugged her jacket around herself and began her trek home.
And it was so peaceful. Not a whisper, not a fight, nothing. The streets were abandoned – even the men who were stumbling home drunk were absent. It was absolutely empty. Except for her.
And her stalker, of course.
-
San was early at the opera house the next day– so early the doors to the boudoir weren’t unlocked yet. Instead, he lingered out front, pacing this way and that.
“Sannie,” she exclaimed at the sight of him.
How did he know she was going to practice early today? The question was quickly forgotten as she hugged him. His arms wrapped around her in a warm bear hug before he pulled back to press a kiss to her nose.
Sweet, that’s what San was.
“What’re you doing here?” she asked, smiling affectionately up at him.
They hadn’t shifted in their embrace; San kept her close to him as he looked down at her. There was clear fondness there. His fingers rubbed up and down her back, over her warm winter coat.
“I wanted to see you,” he admitted. “You look so cute in your coat.”
His words brought a flush to her cheeks. This was what she imagined when she thought of Julia’s words. No way could this be false. He was cooing over her, his touch reverent. It was different.
“I love it,” she replied. “It keeps me warm. Just like you.”
He laughed, warmly. He brought her close to his chest again, hugging her. It was funny. For as much as he claimed Wooyoung was touchy, San loved skinship. He liked to keep her close.
“I got you something,” he whispered after a moment, shifting one arm to reach into his pocket.
“What’s this?”
In his small hand (well, small compared to his broad form) sat a beautiful bracelet, teardrop-cut diamonds were linked together into a delicate yet unbelievably expensive gift.
“For you.”
San smiled like a content cat as he watched her fiddle with the pretty diamond bracelet. His dimples were deep in his cheeks. Her fingers brushed over the jewels admiringly. He loved pretty things and seeing her openly awe made him buzz with excitement. Carefully, he linked the clasp over her wrist and turned her hand over in his, watching the gems glimmer and shimmer in the gas light. He grinned.
“What’s this for?” she asked, brows crinkling curiously.
It wasn’t like Wooyoung’s gift – a month anniversary gift – or even San’s gift of the coat, something she had needed in all honesty. This was sudden. Strange.
His fingers brushed over the jewels before he spoke again.
“I was jealous that Wooyo had this pretty necklace around your throat.”
He leaned forward, fingering the pearls around her throat before tugging experimentally at them like it was a leash. They tightened with the pressure, choking her lightly and forcing her to lean closer to her patron. YN’s breath stolen, not in pain but in a flicker of excitement, surprise, pleasure. Her head tilted back to smile up at him. His fingers tightened around the pearls ever so.
“Oh, honey,” San cooed soft and sweet as he continued to tug her up by the collar of her necklace to capture her lips in a kiss. One kiss that devolved into many as he pushed her up against the door to the boudoir, lifting her lightly into his arms. Pressed against the door, her bejeweled hand tangled in his hair, tugging him ever closer.
They were lucky no one passed by as they devoured one another.
San may have been a gentleman, but his greed and power revealed itself slowly but surely.
-
Another man was missing. He had been a regular in the boudoir. A young man who spent his spare pennies to leer at them. He wasn’t missed by any of the ballerinas, but it was frightening. Too many people were disappearing or getting into trouble.
Her mother and the other ladies at the factory walked together now. To and from work, in case trouble arose. She had even pushed for YN to walk with someone to the Opera House for once.
“Your boy is a good one,” she appraised. “That Wooyoung walks you here every night now. Like a gentleman. Stick around him.”
-
San had invited her out to another tennis match. Wooyoung had been caught up in business (business she still didn’t know of, she lamented as they walked along the cobblestone streets. San had whispered in her ear that it was boring. Wooyoung was unlucky to not be here with her. And he, in turn, was ever lucky.)
She wore his pretty diamond bracelet on her wrist, and, every time he stole a glance, his face curled up into a pleasant happy grin. He looked sweet like a kitten.
His arm wrapped around her waist as they sat and watch Yeosang’s match. Drinking champagne, he’d offer her his flute every so often, and she’d sip away. It was an expensive brand, far more easy to drink than the piss-poor alcohol the ballerinas could afford for their own celebrations away from the leering men of the opera. Drinking the expensive liquor the men offered was never a good idea – it led to worser things.
Yeosang looked as pretty as ever. He reminded her of a ballerino the way he danced about the court. Somehow both pretty and masculine as his form bent and stretched. Muscles rippled, leaner than San’s but not any less bulging. His arms flexed and she held onto the shared flue of champagne tighter.
San’s fingers stroked over her hip.
“You’re staring, honey,” he teased.
It wasn’t the tone of a jealous lover or a scolding of a respectable man. It was lilting, gentle. Her eyes looked away from Yeosang and rested on her date. He sipped his champagne, lips pursing and brows dancing. San’s lids were heavy as he grinned. Just as cat-like as earlier but more cheshire. Like he knew a secret.
He glanced away from her and looked over the athlete. His gaze mirrored hers, she realized. A fondness… no, an attracted air radiated in his deep brown orbs.
Was he teasing her? Was he genuine?
“Now, you’re staring,” she teased in return.
“I didn’t tell you to stop,” he replied coyly. He glanced back at her as he leaned in. “He’s handsome, hm?”
Her cheeks flushed at that and she looked away.
“San!” she exclaimed.
His laughter rumbled in his chest as he held her closer. His lips pressed to her ear intimately.
“It’s alright, honey. He’s mine. Just as Wooyoung’s mine.” He replied easily. “Just as you are mine.” His lips kissed her skin before he pulled away. Her hand shifted to grasp his in hers. His thumb grazed over her bracelet lovingly.
-
Yeosang greeted them after his victory; the zing of celebratory champagne on his breath stinging her nose as he leaned forward to wrap her into an eager hug. Daring for a second-meeting. It made her worry she had been too obvious with her friendliness, her intrigue… her interest in the athlete. She did like him after all.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he beamed.
The smell of his cologne mingled with his sweat. Masculinity mixed with the soft thyme and tea of his perfume. It made her want to hug him closer. He pulled back, his eyes burning with the same intensity beforehand. A straightforwardness. He wasn’t afraid to meet her gaze. His honeyed eyes were sweet and inquiring. Taking in every feature of her – the dark coat, the pearls, the diamonds. He smiled.
“Hello Yeosang. Congratulations,” she returned.
The man nodded respectfully before he glanced over her shoulder at the tall muscled man, eyeing Yeosang with clear adoration.
“San,” he greeted.
“Yeosangie,” San replied with a fond grin. His cheeks were blushed, maybe from the champagne they shared?
The athlete rolled his eyes lightly, playfully, before he settled his gaze on the lady.
“Did you make any bets?” he asked curiously, leaning into her with intrigue.
Her eyes widened. “Oh, no,” she exclaimed. She hadnt even thought of that; she was a guest after all.
“You know what? Yeosang’s right,” San retorted. His hand squeezed her waist. “Next time, you should bet some coin. We do all the time.”
Her brows crinkled, doubtfully. Not because she doubted Yeosang’s abilities. He was a powerful athlete. But betting… she swallowed a bit. She didn’t have much money to risk in general. She had just gotten used to having extra coins in her coinpurse. Her embarrassment burned at her ears.
“I’m not sure,” she said softly.
Yeosang eyed her before he hummed lightly. His gaze settled back on San, firmly.
“I’ll do it for you,” San said instead, downing the rest of his drink. His eyes reopened from the gulp and he shrugged. “I’ll buy you anything, honey. Everything.”
Yeosang laughed, lips curling. Pleased. He leaned in to whisper close.
“You’ve got our San, sweetheart. Wrapped around your pretty finger.”
The athlete’s fingers were close by still, and they tickled her fingertips playfully. If he was any bolder, he’d be holding her hand. But instead, like a tease, he pulled back. Licking his lower lip and flashing a charming smile that only a socialite had. Easy and well-practiced.
“I’ll buy you anything, too, baby,” San purred towards Yeosang. He looked at the buff man with a raised brow. He always looked so sharp, in a delicate way despite his rippling muscles.
“I know,” he teased.
Yeosang raised a hand to squeeze the younger’s cheeks fondly. San smiled, pleased, a mirror of the grin he gave her earlier. His cheeks looked plump in the other’s lean long fingers. Yeosang chuckled, squeezing them again before his hand dropped and he turned.
“Come with me,” he nodded over his shoulder. “We can talk in the shade – the weather is horrid.”
He was right; the clouds were whirling and swirling into what was sure to be a downpour soon. They walked further into the tennis court’s shaded areas – the betting shop in the corner with a long line. People, mostly men, were cashing in their rewards. San’s hands went to rest on the small of her back; if she had glanced aside, she’d see he did the same to Yeosang, guiding the pair of them this way and that.
A rush of reporters, dressed for the weather with raincoats and large brimmed hats, flooded towards the winner. Yeosang slung his black tennis racket over his shoulder, smiling and waving at the flashing paparazzi’s cameras. Her eyes shut at the bright lights. San’s hand squeezed her waist and tugged her closer.
“Sir, congratulations!” There were cries of celebration and excitement. “Good show! Good show!”
YN wasn’t used to such fanfare, and it made her fantasize of the flashing lights she was hopeful for. One day… she glanced over at Yeosang. She’d be like him. Successful. In his own right. He grinned politely at a reporter, waving with a tight structured wave.
“Mr. Kim! Is it true you know Kim Yunho?” she heard over the chatter.
Yunho… she had heard that name before. But where? She didn’t have time to think as San guided them throughout the crowd, his hand curling over her hip to keep her closer with the writhing crowd jostling them this way and that.
The athlete didn’t reply, and he let his friend guide him through the swarm until they entered a tented area. Once the tent’s curtains were tied together, Yeosang huffed.
“I despise paparazzi,” he admitted, scuffing his feet against the concrete as he walked.
The space wasn’t special, but it was private. Scattered about were a few folding chairs, a wrought-wire bench, and a grey-green locker. Yeosang went to it, and opened it with ease. Within it wasn’t much. A folded assortment of clothes, a letter plastered to the locker’s interior, an extra racket, and a water jug. He placed his dark racket within and picked up the water jug. Raising the glass jug to his mouth, he took a big gulp. San patted her hip encouragingly as he moved away going to sit on the nearby bench. YN tentatively took a seat in a folding chair.
“Your performances of Swan Lake are coming to an end, are they not?” Yeosang queried.
“Oh, yes. They are; will you be able to attend closing night… or any show anytime soon? I’d love to see you there.” she admitted.
Yeosang’s lips quirked against the water jug’s rim before he pulled it away. Swallowing, he nodded. “I would love to see you once more, Miss YN. In your element.”
“You must encourage him to come backstage,” she turned to San. Less asking and more pressing.
He nodded in agreement. Easily swayed by his lovers, he leaned back in his seat casually.
“Is it like this?” Yeosang asked; a hand went to push back his locks, sweatied and damp.
The sight of his sharp brows quirking in curiosity sent a flare of excitement through her. He was so handsome; she couldn’t help but awe. San chuckled at her ogling.
“It isn’t, Yeo.” San admitted. “The backstage is grand and too open with too many girls running about half-dressed and men staring at them.”
Yeosang’s eyes flickered to him. “Even our girl?”
San glanced at her, head tilting. “Not as of late.”
He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and placed it in between his lips. The look he gave Yeosang confused her – sharp, dark, and biting as he bit down on the cigarette before fiddling with a silver lighter. Yeosang hummed lowly.
“San and Wooyoung are polite,” she said, as if that would help the conversation. As if that was the topic at hand. “They’re the best gentleman in the boudoir. Honest.”
San grinned around his cigarette as he finally lit it. He knew she spoke the truth. She always did around him now. It made him happy to know she was so comfortable around them that she didn’t even notice the glares he sent the way of any man that dared eye her as she switched costumes.
Little did she know what would happen to one if they did.
He puffed out smoke.
“I’d rather see you outside this boudoir then,” Yeosang commented, closing the locker’s door. “I don’t wish to see you improperly, sweetheart. I wouldn’t put you in that situation.”
“We don’t mean to either,” San coughed out, the smoke scattering about bashfully. He turned to look at her with the gentlest of eyes. “You’re painting me to be a villain, Yeo.”
“No, I know,” she interrupted. “I know San and Woo mean well.”
They had said so since the beginning. Wooyoung claimed he didn’t even know he was playing as potential patron until San said so. And now, well, she felt safe around them. When she was with them, when she was introduced to Yeosang, it made her feel permanent. Not a doll on a music box to show off around the right clientele.
Imara never had this.
“Still,” Yeosang tutted. “I’d hate that. If I had those reporters watching every little move I made back here.” He bared his teeth. “I’m sorry you have to suffer that, sweetheart.”
-
“Do you want diamonds?” San asked.
This was the fifth time he had asked if she wanted some grand gift as they walked home. The umbrella San had kept them mostly dry in the drizzle. YN knew he felt bad about the boudoir. Especially at Yeosang’s commentary.
“No,” she let out a chuckle.
“More pearls?” Not his favorite thing, but they looked pretty around her neck and they were useful.
“No,” she giggled, swinging their conjoined hands.
“Then what, honey?” he whined a bit, sounding childlike as he squeezed onto her hand.
She was surprised this bulky beefy man was acting so openly whiney in public. He didn’t need the illusion of masculinity to cling to; there was an element of strength in him deeper than attitude. Even if he was acting like a child.
“I’m okay,” she said.
He licked the back of his lips. Doubtful. He frowned before stopping in the streets. The lamplighters were out and about, lighting the last remaining candle lights amongst the new gas-line lamps. He didn’t falter. He didn’t care if they were intimately close. His hand around her wrist as he pulled her close in the wet setting sun.
“What do you truly want, honey?”
What did she truly want? She smiled up at him. All her life she had only wanted and yearned for one thing – til Wooyoung and him and Yeosang all tumbled into her life that is.
“I want to be a ballerina. The ballerina prima,” she told him sincerely. Her hand rose to pat his cheek softly. “You are helping me get it.”
His lips pouted as he looked down at her. He didn’t like that answer. That was a harder request. But he wouldn’t tell her that. Instead, he leaned forward to press a sweet kiss to her lips, so quick one would’ve missed it if it hadn’t tasted of champagne and cigarette smoke. His sweetened coffee cologne wafted over her soothingly like a chaser.
-
“Extra edition!” a newsboy cried out.
YN had been walking towards the newest restaurant that San and Wooyoung insisted on trying. It was expensive. Far too expensive for her, but San insisted per usual and Wooyoung pouted that without her he’d be bored. So, here she was walking the streets towards the richer side of town. The richer side of town where all the newsies made their routes; the rich had money to spare.
“Star tennis player Kim Yeosang associated with Kim Yunho, the man released on 1 million coin for murder in broad-daylight! Shocking details revealed.”
Now, that caught her attention. Her feet slowed until she came to a stop. For once, it felt like the newsies had given just enough information to lure her in. Her coin purse pressed against her thigh was heavy. Heavy enough to spare a few coins to buy the paper.
“I’ll take one, Jack,” she told him, digging into her pocket to hand him the necessary amount.
The younger grinned up at her. “Thank you, Miss YN.” He shuffled the heavy stack around, untying the twine to present the fresh-printed and warm newspaper her way.
She nodded in thanks as she unraveled it and began to read.
-
San and Wooyoung sat in the corner of a restaurant, talking lowly in the shadows as they waited. Only to be interrupted by a newspaper being plopped down on the table. Their eyes shifted from one another to the newspaper. Doubtful, almost darkened looks were engrained in their faces before they glanced upward to see their swanette. Haloed by the light pouring into the café, her arms were crossed; brow raised. Their expressions softened immediately like butter.
“Hello, honey,” San rumbled. He tugged the chair out for her.
“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung added.
They hadnt looked at the paper yet.
“What the fuck is this?” she murmured, taking the seat easily as she shoved the headline their way.
Wooyoung licked his lips at her expletive. She didn’t curse much in the boudoir. Hearing it made his cell burn, biting at his lower lip after a moment. He glanced down at the paper; that hot feeling fizzled at the headline. He sighed, head rolling back, before he glanced San’s way. San’s expression hadn’t shifted; not even a twitch of his brow as he looked over his glasses at his partner.
“It’s a long story,” Wooyoung replied.
“I’ve got time,” she retorted, crossing her arms. “Start with the part where Kim Yunho is living in your mansion. Kim Yunho, the man who shot a near-billionaire, dead, in broad-daylight after a supposed bet gone wrong.”
Her voice raised as she retold what the inky print said. She didn’t look intimidating in their eyes. Especially with her pout. San wanted to kiss it off her. Instead, he offered, “Yunho’s got a complicated past, but he only acted in self-defense.”
“He shot a man in broad daylight. Is Yeosang safe? Are you?” she worried. “Hongjoong?”
Wooyoung scooted close at that, hating the way her voice accelerated. San chuckled lowly, shaking his head.
“Oh, little bird,” Wooyoung hummed, taking her hand. “We are safe. We are safe. You don’t need to worry – is that why you are so upset?”
She frowned at them, her furrowed brow deepening. Wooyoung cooed.
“You are, oh, baby,” he hugged her, nearly joining her on her chair. “You are sweet, YN.”
“I’m worried; you are with a criminal,” she mumbled out, making sure her words were too loud. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Wooyoung stole a kiss. “You really are a doll, an angel. We are okay I promise.”
“You can’t just kiss me and tell me it’s okay. How? How is it okay?”
“Yunho is a free-man,” San reminded. “He didn’t break out of jail; he served his time; he paid his fees; he was let go. But apparently caught the attention of the press while doing so.”
“Poor Yeosang,” YN lamented suddenly. “He hated the paparazzi and now-“ she buried her head into Wooyoung’s shoulder.
The younger cooed. His hand going to pet at her back as he glanced over at San while her back was turned. There was a rustling of the newspaper, the crinkling paper being folded over.
“Yeosang will live. He’s been reported on his entire life. Yunho will not hurt us, promise, honey.” San replied. “You’re working yourself up. I’ll get you tea.”
There was a snapping sound of his fingers. A waiter obediently came. The man whispered his order as Wooyoung murmured to YN.
“It’s alright. It really is. You’ll see.”
San and Wooyoung’s eyes met once more.
They should’ve let Yunho meet her before this all happened; their shared grimaces said so.
-
Not even a day later, there were rumors about town. That night whispers about her patrons were all about the boudoir. The Ateez House truly was haunted some said. It had a killer living there. It made her scoff. There were seven others in that house – how could you build a house to be broken and haunted by one person?
The next day, a man from the newspaper company, the Cromer Chronicle, was missing. He had disappeared in the night without a trace. Or well, there was a trace. A letter saying he was going on vacation for a while. But few believed it.
Gossip roared. What was even more interesting, was that the newspaper headlines the next day were completely free of any mentions of Kim Yeosang or Kim Yunho.
But on her vanity, a letter rested with her name in an elaborate script signed by a certain man. The seal was the same ‘A’ emblem that both San and Wooyoung wore on a gold ring.
Miss YN.
You are cordially invited to join Kim Yeosang at the Ateez House estate for a night of fine dining. Casual attire permitted. I am so excited to see you again – if you will join me!
Yours,
Kim Yeosang
“Did you place this on the vanity?” she asked the two men who sat side by side on a sofa. Sometimes they looked too close for comfort; tonight was one of those nights. Wooyoung was nearly draped across San’s chest, his head cradled on his muscular shoulder as he stared up at her.
“No, swanette,” Wooyoung claimed. “Our hands are clean in this.”
He raised his hands in surrender, wiggling his fingers playfully at her.
“Yeosangie must’ve liked you,” San added with a smirk.
“You’d know,” Wooyoung muttered; San grasped the other’s hip warningly.
Wooyoung giggled out almost like a hyena, head tilting back in mischief.
“You should’ve seen how he looked at her, Wooyo,” San continued, his gaze flickering towards YN from over his spectacles.
“I know,” the other giggled.
“Will you be there?” she asked tentatively.
Her fingers fiddled with the corner of the thick cardstock Yeosang’s handwriting graced. She was used to their presence. They felt safe to her. They glanced at one another. San’s fingers trailed up and down Wooyoung’s waist. Wooyoung went to interlace their fingers smoothly. Squeezing it once and then twice.
“I’m not sure, honey,” San said. “We have business to attend to this weekend.”
“Sorry, pretty,” Wooyoung pouted at her. “We may see you in passing? If you miss us so much, we can meet you here early the next day. I want to hear all about you and Yeosangie.”
She smiled sweetly at them, flushing at the idea that the pair of them encouraged her to dine and possible flirt with another. It was strange but not… unfavorable. Yeosang was handsome. He was delicate but strong. Eloquent and interesting. Understanding. She liked his company. Despite the company he kept… her mind flickered back to the elephant in the room… or yesterday’s newspaper in the nearby waste basket.
“Is… Yunho –“ she asked, shifting this way and that. San couldn’t help but think she looked so sweet, so innocent, so naïve in her little feather tutu, all virginal white. “Is it safe for me - with Yunho there?”
They didn’t even need to look at one another. Wooyoung’s hand held San’s tighter as he shifted his gaze to simmer on her.
“Yunho would never hurt a lady, honey,” San replied, sincerely and instantaneously.
His hand outstretched for her to take. Which she did. It was San after all. Secure, sweet, strong San. He’s been so straightforward. She trusted him. His fingers caressed over her knuckles, “Especially you.”
“Okay,” she breathed. “I believe you.”
“Yeosang will be excited.” San promised, raising her hand for him to press a kiss to her knuckles. “We can deliver the news to him when we get home.”
He pressed a peck to each knuckle before continuing up her hand to press kisses over his bracelet. He placed a final sweet kiss to her pulse before pulling away, and pulling her towards their embrace. San could hold both of them in his lap after all. Wooyoung slid further down on the settee until his head rested on one of San’s thighs. His lips curled.
“I will send a car for you, swanette. You won’t have to lift a foot,” Wooyoung promised, reaching a hand up to tuck hair aside as she sat on San’s rippling thigh. “Easy-peasy.”
-
It was her first time in an automobile. She had traveled in carriages and open buggies but never something so expensive as a brand-new automobile. Something so polished and metallic and rich. Her excitement was almost like a child’s; her smile was bright at the sight of the car sitting curbside. Its lacquer was a deep-olive color, gleaming in the golden sunlight peeking out of the rain-heavy clouds. The chill that nipped at her heels and the rain that itched at the sky made her thankful that Wooyoung had sent a car for her – even if every single one of her neighbors were being nosey. She could see their faces pressed to their windows with curtains shoved aside haphazardly. No cars came here. And certainly, no car like this.
The driver was tall and handsome, his dark brown hair styled sharply across his forehead. A multi-layered suit with shimmering gold detailing looked expensive on his form, a long-coat making his appearance look clean cut and sleek. Just like the car.
His entrancing eyes were dark, siren-like as they locked onto her form as she hopped gracefully down the icy steps. He felt his breath catch. A mix of excitement and fear tumbled through his stomach. She looked so pretty. Her hair was done nicely and modern. Her day-dress was a pretty (if a bit washed out) green color, complimenting the car’s hue perfectly. The sparkle of her pearls around her throat and her diamond bracelet peeking from beneath the sleeve of the dark fur coat made him smile. His full lips quirked into a smirk of a close-lipped smile.
His eyes haven’t left her form yet. Not even when her mother stepped out to awe at the car and the man waiting for her on the curb.
“Hello, doll.” He greeted her, polite with a deep-voice.
His hand, covered in multiple rings, opened the passenger door for her.
“Hi,” she smiled at him, and he wanted to swoon then and there. But he stayed firm, icy, tall. It wasn’t his turn. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. But he knew the way to her house; he had a car. And he was higher than Wooyoung or San in the hierarchy. He’d do what he wanted to do… as long as the Captain allowed that is.
His eyes didn’t leave her as she entered the automobile, tucking her dresses beneath her lady-like. He closed the door behind her and circled around the car to enter the driver’s seat. He took a shaky breath before entering; he felt like a school boy. When was that a feeling he’s felt recently? (The Ateez House would say every time he whined and pouted at them like a princess.)
The interior of the car smelt expensive, too. The well-taken care of leather, the wiped down metal accessories, everything reeked of rich maintenance. Her eyes ate up the new machine, looking at the gearshift, the polished controls. There was even a record player in the dash.
She never realized how rich they were. It surprised her. He ate up how her eyes widened, and she sat so delicate, hands in her lap as if touching something would bite her. She was so cute. His lips curled into a smirk as he turned the key in the ignition. The car rumbled to life, and she let out a little sound of surprise.
He chuckled low, the sound reverberating around her. She glanced over at her driver. He looked casual in the driver’s seat. One hand was on the wheel; the gleam of an expensive watch shone at her. He was leaning back, his hand cupping the back of her car seat carefully as he began to pull the car away into the street.
He didn’t want to intimidate her. Wooyoung had said she was already so nervous about Yunho. So, he didn’t speak, didn’t tease, didn’t do much except drive. He enjoyed her gaze on him though. He watched her so many times that it made the back of his neck and the tips of his ears burn pleasantly. He tongued at his canines, hiding his smirk. His plush lips pursed instead.
Her awe shifted as he sped up, her eyes flickering to the streets that passed by, faster, faster, faster. Faster than any carriage or bike or trolley. It sent a whirl of excitement in her stomach.
“This is my first time in an automobile,” she admitted into the silence.
“It is?” his voice was deep as honey, and it made her spine tingle.
He glanced over at her. He wanted to show her so many new things. He was glad to have one of her firsts. Wooyoung had stolen so many. Her first date, her first kiss, her first embrace. He’d at least be her first car ride – one of many. He’d take her in any of his cars – if they were in the countryside rather than the city, he’d show her how fast these automobiles can go. He’d impress her. They’d go one day, he imagined. They’d go all sorts of places together. He’d show her the world if she wished it.
She hummed out in agreement, pulling him from his daydream.
“It’s nice,” she complimented, shifting her seat.
A flood of rose-petal aroma consumed him. Her perfumed skin. She put so much care into this; into them. It was intoxicating. His eyes locked on the road, his fingers trembling lightly. He flexed his hand and gripped the leather of the wheel tighter.
“Thank you, darling.”
The car ride was a quick one. Ateez House was on the outskirts of the city but not too far away to be a long journey. Just far enough to be private amongst the trees and rolling hills. It looked more alive than it had ever been in all the years she lived in Cromer. While the estate was sprawling and the mansion itself large and imposing with a complicated layout, it always looked abandoned. But now, there were crystal windows gleaming with light, gardeners trimming bushes, and luxury cars pulling into a nearby car garage. People tended to the large fountain in the center of the roundabout driveway, despite the threatening rain that rumbled in the sky. The mansion’s greyness seemed to fade with the orange-light the windows poured into the evening.
It was a phantom resurrected; the flame of life was burning within the house once more.
Mingi cleared his throat. “Welcome to Ateez House, YN.”
Her eyes were locked on his home; winding over the overlapping rooftops, grazing the glowing windows to see if anyone was looking out at them. Two figures, dark silhouettes at most, stood on the upper floor, one short and the other tall.
Her head tilted in curiosity before they walked off.
“Thank you,” she smiled at him before going to open her door. “And thank you for the drive.”
There was a squeak of leather as he shifted closer suddenly. His arm outstretched over her, bracing over her chest. Her gasp was all the sound that filled the air between them. Her head turned and they were nearly nose-to-nose.
He was so close. The blood-orange of his cologne licked at her senses, mingling with the polished leather so refreshingly. He smelled intoxicating and sharp. His face was only inches away; the fabric of his long-coat brushed against her. His hand closed around the metal handle of the car door, gently nudging hers aside. He laughed out nervously. His eyes were wide and gentle. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he flashed the sweetest grin she had ever seen, all toothy and bright. It sparkled… wait, he had diamonds on his teeth. His canines were adorned with gems that gleamed in the setting sun.
“Let me,” he bumbled out. He opened the door from within, before pulling his arm back. His cheeks were painted a rosy color that only made his flustered appearance look more sweet.
“Thank you,” she said, offering him a grin of her own.
She hoped he wasn’t too surprised by her own initial surprise. He was just trying to be a gentleman she realized. Bowing her head, she quickly ducked out of the car, closing the door behind her with care.
The only thought that filled his brain – besides the intoxicating smell of YN – was ‘damn you for winning, Yunho.’ After a long moment of breathing the remains of her deep into his lungs and watching her form walk towards his house, Mingi restarted the automobile with a rumble to guide it back to their private car garage.
-
Everything reeked of extravagance. Tall walls with recess ceilings and wainscotting details. Gilded gold and glowing gas-lamps. Italian-Renaissance inspired tiles of saints, angels, and the Heavens were inlayed in the ceiling. The floor was patterned, a rich expensive textile making up the carpet.
There were butlers lining the walls of the foyer; all in matching midnight pin-striped suits. It was almost eerie. They were like statues, repeating over and over and over. Expressionless. Each face was stoney, eyes ahead. It reminded her of when the ballet troupe lined up in their matching leotards and were separated by height; row after row. Slicked back hair, delicate body lines, starving ribs. Identical and indistinguishable until they reached prima title.
None of them acknowledged her except for one, a rogue, that walked up and nodded at her politely.
“Welcome to the mansion, Miss YN. Please, come.” He outstretched his hand to encourage her further into the lavish space.
She curtsied, uncertainly. One of the many ghostly butlers took her coat as she walked down the foyer’s hall. Her kitten heels were soft against the carpet flooring until they rounded a corner. They click-clacked across marble flooring, polished ‘til she could see her reflection.
“Mr. Yeosang has requested a meal to be prepared at the West Wing. Please follow me.” The same butler spoke once more before he turned to lead the way.
Following after him, she was awed by the space. The very place that had been teased and taunted and ghost storied about was a gleaming jewel. As they walked, she realized how each hallway, each living space was opulent. The current path had walls that were painted an ice-cold baby-blue. Yet there were touches of warmth everywhere. Fine art in gold-leafed frames, elaborate trims around columns and the floor were the same shining gold. The art was all heavenly. Literally. Gods, angels, and disciples portrayed in blurred brush strokes, painted with colors that ached of softness. Everything was all gold, fluff, and magnificence.
The ceiling had multiple heavy hanging chandeliers of pure jewels. Diamonds dripped from its wire frame and sparkled in the gas-light. Everywhere was gaslit; she was surprised. No one had notice workers here and yet it was modern. Not a speck of dust or age present anywhere – besides the ancient art she supposed.
She slowed as she passed a large Renaissance-esque painting full of cherubs with feathered wings and glowing haloes. Squinting, she saw one figure wearing a ski mask. Huh? A cat meowed nearby. Her attention was caught, her head turning to the sound. She stilled as she glanced down a nearby hall, one that seemed darker than the others. Doors lined each wall; all shut except for one at the end of that hall. It was opened just a crack, the siren call of a piano trickled out, and a little cat peered around its corner. The sweet cat was a midnight-black, almost blue-ish in tone; her tail twisted behind her as she meowed out again.
YN’s eyes lit up at the sight; the cat meowed again as it wiggled itself out of the doorway. Its paws and claws clinked against the tile, almost in rhythm with the piano music playing. Large green eyes peered up at her curiously as the cat approached; the collar around its throat was expensive – a leather thing with jewels, pearls, and a large silver bell that jingled out the closer it got.
She meowed at her again.
The piano stopped; the reverb humming out discordantly.
“Z?” a voice called out before a gentle melodic whistle chimed out.
The kitty’s attention was caught again, its ears perking up and meowing as if answering the call of its owner. It began to stroll back where it came from.
“Miss YN,” the butler’s monotonic called out.
Her head snapped towards him, answering his call immediately. She stood from the slight crouch she had taken for the kitten’s approach. Her butler stood some feet away, arms behind his back. She expected a disapproving look, but he provided none.
“Please follow me, Miss. We wouldn’t want you disappearing.”
That was almost worse! It sounded so ominous coming from his stone-faced mouth. She swallowed.
“Sorry,” she apologized before she quickened her pace to catch up to him.
“We wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.”
They continued to walk down this hallway and that hallway. Someone could easily get lost here. It was like a grand castle. Finally, after crossing some carpeted stairs, they were in front of a grand hallway of windows. As they passed, she could see a dreary exterior. Rain had begun to pour, fogging the outside in grey. But she could distantly see a maze of hedges, rose bushes, apple trees, and all sorts of gardens awaiting. She awed at the sight as they continued down the carpeted hall to come to a set of dark oak doors.
“One moment, Miss,” the butler warned as he entered the room quickly.
“Boss, er, sir – “
The doors shut behind him before she could hear any more. She was left alone. YN glanced aside at the wall opposite of the windows. There were inlayed gas lamps, glowing a soft yellow. A portrait hung nearby, painted in a similar style as the painting she saw before.
It was of a young man, a handsome one at that. His inky-black hair was slicked back in shiny waves, a singular strand curled over his forehead daintily. He was in all white, soft silken tunic and oversized bowtie of virginal white. Despite the softness of his attire and of the atmosphere surrounding him (he was almost painted with his own divine halo as if he was an apostle), there was sharpness to his midnight-black eyes and the smirk of his mischievous smile. His ears were pierced up and down, pearls and fine metals looping them in sparkles. A twinkle was shining at the corner of his grin as if his teeth gleamed in the heavenly light around him. He was beautiful, but she couldn’t help but feel like his dark eyes were staring her down.
The tall doors opened behind her suddenly. YN turned to see the reveal of a dining hall as luxurious as the rest of the mansion. But the aroma that wafted from its interior was far more intoxicating.
“Enter, Miss YN.” The butler encouraged, beside the door.
He held them open for her as she took a stride inside. Her lips widening into a smile as she prepared to greet Yeosang at the head of the table. But this was no Yeosang she realized as she gazed down the long, lavish table to meet the dark gaze of a stranger.
With a calculated look, he stared at her from the head of a ten-chaired, decadent table of hot food. It was more than she had eaten in months even with San and Wooyoung: sizzling side dishes, steaks covered in thick luscious sauces, cracked fruits that had a sweet nectar gleaming on them, chocolate-oozing pastries. An open bottle of red wine rested in a frosted chest of ice; eight crystal glasses sat upside down. One glass of red wine sat in front of her spot; the other in the grasp of the man’s hand. The ruby liquid gleamed like blood. A sea of lit-candles decorated the spare space of the table; the chandelier above keeping the candles instead of trading them for their gas-lit counterpart. The orange glow illuminated the intimate room in a hazy feel. Smoke trailed out of his mouth in a long plume, perfuming the delicious air with the heady scent of tobacco.
“Hello.”
His voice was a soft drawl. His close-lip smile was the same. Soft, slow, and confident. His eyes were illuminated by the flickering candles, making the darkness there look like a night sky spattered with stars rather than with blood. He tapped his cigarette into a crystal ash tray with his long fingers. Rings after rings curled over his knuckles; some sharp and some with the emblem ‘A’ just like San and Wooyoung shared. He raised the cigarette back to his lips to take another drag into his lungs.
“YN.” The smoke billowed from his lips as he spoke her name tenderly.
She should’ve left then, knowing it was different from what she had agreed to. She should’ve asked him where Yeosang was immediately – and who was he? But she already knew, didn’t she? She had worried about this man since she read the newsprint that bore his name.
She shifted, fingers tugging at her skirt as she heard the heavy wood doors shut behind her. The butler that led her here disappearing, leaving her with him. Her fingers pressed into the door behind her, tentatively. It didn’t budge beneath her. In the shadows of the room, she saw there were men lining the wall. Like ghosts, they didn’t speak or move – they simply stood like gargoyles surrounding a castle. One broke the line to pull out her chair opposite of her dining companion. Her eyes flickered back to the man at the head of the table.
“Hello,” she said instead. “Yunho.”
It wasn’t a stutter, but there was a pause in her words. Yunho’s laughter was almost fond as he chuckled out a plume of smoke before she was urged forward with a flick of his hand. Ashes splattered across the white dining cloth, sizzling burns into the fabric. She sat down in the chair pulled out for her; the servant pushed her in towards the table with a screech of the wooden legs against the wood.
The silverware in front of her was polished, gleaming in the candle-light. A perfectly folded napkin rested on the center of her gold-lined plate. The initial ‘A’ in a circle was embroidered fancifully in shiny black thread on the pristine white fabric.
Her fingers flexed against the wood arm rests of her chair as she looked down the table, over candles, meats, cheese, and vegetables at the intimidating man. He was far away, but perhaps that was the safest option for her.
“I like you already,” he proclaimed, his words solid and confident. His smile simmered.
“Please,” Yunho gestured to the piles of food in front of them with a hand, swinging the cigarette and a trailing path of smoke about. “I’m sure you’re hungry.”
Her stomach felt tight with nerves, but even so it grumbled at the sight before her. Everything smelt so nice and rich and oily. Decadent. She licked her rosy lips, dragging her eyes up to look at him once more.
“Where’s Yeosang?” she asked finally.
He smiled, a peak of glimmering teeth shining in the candlelight. No, it wasn’t his teeth that shined – it was the inlayed diamonds on his canines that twinkled. Just like the driver. Just like the painting.
“He’ll join us,” Yunho reassured. “He’s running late from a previous engagement. I promise.”
Her gaze was doubtful. Why didn’t he just tell the driver to alert her? She could wait. She was used to waiting upon rich men.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“I was curious of you.” He stated as he raised his cigarette to his mouth once more. As he breathed out, he gestured again at the food. “Please help yourself. Wooyoung told me some of your favorites.”
There were her favorites; steaming and hot. Some tartlets from their recent date sat on a pearlescent serving tray. Tempting. Her stomach grumbled. Watching him carefully, she reached out a fork to stab into a piece of meat and plating it.
“I’m just a ballerina,” she claimed, eyes flashing to look at him as she picked up her utensils to cut at the singular item on her plate.
Yunho’s lips quirked up on one side before he glanced aside at a man. He nodded towards her and she couldn’t help but jump as a suited butler approached. Yunho’s gaze took in the small tension that rippled through her.
The butler began to pile up her plate with this and that. Steaming vegetables, savory pastries, fluffy mashed potatoes scented with garlic, sticky soy-sauce braised meats, pasta with a rich cream sauce, seafood with clarified butter. It was more food than she could finish. The amount of food laid out was enough to feed eight men.
“You’ve entranced my brothers for being more than just a dancer,” Yunho commented. “I wanted to see what was so special about their swanette.”
She swallowed, her throat dry. She felt like a trapped bird in a zoo being observed. She tried to imagine the boudoir around her rather than the intimacy of a dining table.
“I’m a good dancer,” she told him boldly. They like bold, an older ballerina’s voice was in her ear once more.
Yunho smiled. “I heard. I apologize for never attending a performance.” He said.
“You’ve been… busy,” she said. But not too bold. Another ballerina warned.
It was a dig, and Yunho knew it. She knew it too with how wide her eyes became. And still, his lips curled into a smile, his eyes simmered.
“Its no wonder Wooyoung took to you,” he breathed.
He raised his glass of wine to his lips and took a long sip. At the mention of Wooyoung, he saw the way the muscles in her face flickered. Lightening. Interesting. Placing the glass down, he leaned forwards, hand resting under his chin as he stared at her, intrigued.
She was intriguing. She had four members of the family wrapped around her little finger and here she was in his sticky webs. Yunho ached to figure her out, dive deeper. The vein in his forehead bulged a bit with his intensity.
His eyes felt magnetic. She had cut up her slice of steak into tiny bites at this point, but all he had done was stare at her. He had not a lick of food on his own plate. It felt more like an interrogation than a meal at this point.
So, she stared back. Her eyes met his, swallowing down her fear. The twisted mangled amalgamation of fear, intrigue, and something else. She was safe, she chanted internally. Wooyoung promised. San promised. He hadn’t done anything to her…yet.
She took in his appearance. While his eyes were a hypnotizing thing, his entire face was like one of a siren’s. Handsome with chiseled features. Sharp cupid’s bowed lips, sharp brows, sharp clean lines of his suit. A pair of glasses were tucked into his pocket… he needed glasses just like her Sannie. Her eyes darted up the line of his throat. His hand rose to bring his cigarette back to his lips. He tilted his head, the midnight-black hair swaying over one eyebrow smartly.
How were all these men so handsome? The driver, her patrons, Yeosang, Yunho. All breathtaking compared to the oil-grubby handed rich men of Cromer. It made her soften just a smidge, guard walls lowering as he breathed out smoke once more. Lips pursing delicately. Cheeks soft, she noticed. It was quiet. The clinking of her utensils against her meal was the only sound in the hall.
“Do you like dancing?” she asked. Dancing was safe. Dancing was all she knew.
“Enough,” he said. “My brothers like it more than myself.”
Brothers he said again. It was strange. Wooyoung spoke of the others as friends, dear ones – explained that the shared last name was something pushed upon them. Yunho embraced it.
“Then, sports?” she countered. “Tennis perhaps?”
Yunho chuckled lowly, and it felt like a tiger’s rumble. “No,” he laughed. “Not particularly – though, I have good hand-eye coordination.”
Her mind flashed to the shooting the newspaper relayed – a fictionalized imagining in her head bloomed. Him and his gun aiming and firing with ease, just like that man in the alley way.
“Oh,” she breathed.
He wondered if she knew how blatant her face revealed things. Her fear, her thoughts, her soul. It was strange though. Yunho didn’t want her frightened.
“I play against Yeosang often,” he clarified.
“Oh,” she repeated, a different tone trickling into her exclamation. Her knife scraped against the plate’s china, screeching out suddenly like a soprano at an opera house. Her gaze turned to it, surprised.
Her meat was completely shredded now. Almost inedible with how much she had sawed into it over and over.
Yunho laughed again, the sound warm and full. “Darling,” he cooed out, soft. “Please relax and eat. I insist. Yeosang won’t mind.”
Yeosang. Of course, that’s why she was prolonging it. Her smile was bashful and Yunho’s eyes swallowed it up just like she bit into a piece of her meal finally.
“Will you not eat?” she asked.
Innocent, sweet. Yunho’s eyes simmered as he reached out to grasp a fruit from an intricately weaved wired basket. He bit into a red apple, sharp and vicious. Juice dripped over his fingers, down his chin. He raised a black napkin to the corner of his lips wiping it away. His eye contact never ceased. Did he just wink?
“How long have you lived in Cromer?” he asked.
“My entire life,” she admitted.
He hummed out. “And the ballet almost as long I suppose?”
“Ballerinas are taught young,” she said.
“The best way to shape someone.” He snubbed his cigarette out in his ash tray.
“I suppose,” she admitted. “But I love dancing. Truly.”
It was spoken sincerely, passionately. He nodded. “It’s been mentioned. They say one can tell by just the way you breath. You are full of it.”
“D-dancing?” she queried.
“Love.” he countered. “Passion.”
Her eyes blinked owlishly. “Oh.”
“Do you love them?” he asked directly. His head tilted curiously.
The topic had shifted in tone dramatically suddenly. Her heart raced to its hummingbird speed once more. Her face blushed. Yunho drank it all in like the wine in his glass.
There was a clambering down the hall way, muffled by the oak doors. Her gaze broken from his, and she looked over her shoulder at the doorway.
“Here he comes now,” Yunho whispered.
As predicted, Yeosang came busting through the doors. His hair askew, his eyes burning with the cruel fury she had only seen on the court. His elegant clothes looked rumpled; the softness of his sweater that cut into a deep v revealed more skin that she had seen of the sportsman yet. A rose was pinned on his chest, gentlemanly, and yet somehow tempting her to stare at his chiseled chest more. A decorative scarf wrapped around his throat, disheveled.
He glared at Yunho with such contempt before it was washed away at the sight of her. He glanced her up and down, quickly as if his lingering gaze would be scolded. Appropriately for such an inappropriate action. His lips parted gently; his rounded face soft with a gentle blush.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he immediately apologized, head bowing.
The long strands of russet-brown hair that framed his face swooped over his cheeks. His hand rose to tuck one strand back. “I was caught up with something unexpectedly.”
With little show, she stood, discarding her utensils to greet him. Her smile was soft, reassuring, genuine. She ducked her own head to catch his gaze – he was still glaring through his lashes at the man at the head of the table she noticed. But when he saw her own face come into view he straightened sweetly, awkwardly. But in such a charming way somehow. Yeosang was so charming even in his anger and discomfort. She didn’t want him to be in discomfort.
“Its alright,” she reassured him.
“We’ve just been chatting,” Yunho chimed from the end of the table. Unhelpfully.
Yeosang adjusted his leather gloves nervously, tugging them off finger by finger.
“I see that.” Yeosang rumbled.
His eyes settled back on her like she was his seas’ moon.
“You look lovely, YN,” he complimented. Her smile lit up the room, he swore.
He licked his lips, deep voice humming out as he looked over the table.
“I-I,” he gestured to the table, the meal he had ordered the chef to prepare, “I have those tarts you liked at the café on Riverfield Street.”
She smiled at him; he was so cute.
“Thank you,” she grinned. “And I saw. They look perfect.”
He breathed out a little, fixing his clothes once he tucked his gloves into his back pocket.
“It’s been perfect,” she tried to reassure him, sensing his anxieties. His blooming nerves. Her hand reached out to squeeze his.
He jolted at her touch, just enough for her to catch it. His ears were red. Yunho’s grin was wide, sparkling.
“Thank you for the invite.”
“Of course, I wanted –” he glanced at Yunho’s leering gaze. “I wanted to get to know you better, sweetheart.”
“And we shall,” Yunho agreed. “Sit, Sangie. Let’s eat.”
A butler appeared to pull out a seat for him. It wasn’t near either of them, in fact. It was the third seat to the left side of the table. Yeosang glanced at the butler silently before pulling out the chair directly beside YN and seating himself.
He was served a selection of the meal, silently. She went to break the silence.
“How are you?” The headline still brandished itself in her mind. His words about paparazzi left a lasting impact.
Yeosang huffed out. “Well,” he replied. “News articles come and go. I’ll remain on top of my game regardless.”
Yunho nodded steadfastly from across the table. “It’ll be nothing by the next game.”
Yeosang offered her a smile. “Thank you for worrying about me. I’ve survived worse.”
She nodded solemnly. “I don’t like it still.” Yunho watched the interaction carefully. His brow quirked.
“How are you liking Cromer?” she asked. She was used to asking men how they enjoyed the show… but that wasn’t an option here when the room lulled into silence.
“It’s different. But I’ve seen places as beautiful as Aurora, as desolate as the Strictlands, and as rural as Paradise. Cromer reminds me of Aurora in a different way.” Yeosang explained. “It feels homely.”
She smiled. “Ateez House is yours, correct?”
“Its in the family,” Yeosang replied.
“What do you think of it?” Yunho queried.
“Its very nice,” she politely said.
Yeosang tilted his head fondly at her. “Meaning?”
Her brows crinkled in surprise. “Its—nice?” she repeated.
“Shall I remind you what San encourages you to do, sweetheart?”
To be honest. How did he know about that? Her neck and ears became a soft pink in the candlelight. Swallowing, she glanced to the side.
“It is genuinely nice – its just… this house has been called haunted my whole life,” she told them. “There are ghost stories linked to this mansion. It’s strange being here and seeing that it is, in fact, not rotting or some supernatural force of nature.”
Yeosang chuckled out, smiling sweet.
“There are stories?” he leaned in. “Do tell!”
“I love a good gruesome story,” Yunho commented.
But for some reason, the way the words lilted in his tone didn’t make her flinch like before… in fact, was he teasing her? Her eyes flickered from Yeosang’s open form to Yunho. His cheek rested on his hand; elbow pressed into the table as he eyed her with Yeosang.
He smirked at her as they met one another’s eyes. He nodded, urging her. And so, YN went into the ghost story she had been told as a little girl, sitting among the tutu’ed training ballerinas while her mother did alterations on the prima’s show-stopping costume.
“The story goes that this house was home to a Captain,” she started, twirling pasta about her fork as she spoke.
Yunho and Yeosang’s eyes locked.
“The Captain was no ordinary captain; he was the fiercest pirate king of all. With his crew, the Black Pirates, they terrorized the seas and reaped countless treasures. When he grew old and hoarding like a dragon, he docked at Cromer under a false name. Ateez House was built upon blood-soaked jewels and coins; they say the pirate captain passed in his vault, hidden deep in the mansion’s basements. His bones are still there, unrested. His ghost terrorizes the house and refuses to let any soul except his pirates’ prowl.” She dramatically told.
Her fingers wiggled sensationally. “Or that the treasure was haunted by those they robbed and killed mercilessly. Their ghosts remain and haunt these halls.” She shrugged her hands landing back in her lap. “The story changes every so often.”
“What a story,” Yunho breathed. “Do you believe it?”
“It’s just a story. Maybe there are some real parts but… ghosts aren’t real. I’m not that silly of a girl.”
“You aren’t,” Yeosang commented immediately.
“But everyone in town knows it, so it sticks,” she told them, reaching out for the glass of wine in front of her and taking a sip.
“Cromer loves its gossip.” Yeosang commented.
“They’re stuck in their ways,” Yunho added.
“What do you think of Cromer?” she redirected to Yunho.
He took a small breath in. His previous grimace faded and his brow crinkled as he looked at her thoughtfully. His lips pressed together before replying.
“At first,” Yunho said, tilting his chin. “I did not like it… but now…”
His gaze felt hot, ever present. There wasn’t a barrier of modesty she often felt with other men. Yeosang’s was intense. San’s was careful, observant. Wooyoung’s eager and challenging. Yunho’s was steadfast. Confident. Even the men in the boudoir knew there were limits. They had their wives. They had their image with the other men within the boudoir itself. Here she felt both hunted and examined. Admired but equal. He was looking at her soul.
“Now, I like it.” Yunho purred. “Very much, darling.”
He placed his silverware down with a clink. He leaned forwards, hands pressing into the table.
“There’s more to you that meets the eye,” Yunho commented. “I see that, so now I will let you speak your mind, truthfully.”
Her heart nearly stopped. Was he going to ask her about her love again? In front of Yeosang?! Her eyes remained on him steadily. Her ears burned.
“You’re frightened of me, yes?” he said.
It was strange to feel relief at the confirmation of something so horrible. Because she was still nervous around him, for his boldness frightened her just as much as his previous actions. Yeosang’s eyes shifted to her, widening as he watched her nod.
“Sweetheart,” he reached out for her hand, petting her phalanges but not grabbing it. He simply wished to reassure her. Just as she had done for him earlier.
“San and Wooyoung said I didn’t have to be,” she replied. She licked her lips.
“Ask me what you want to know.” He stretched back into his chair, neck flexing as he met her gaze.
“Is it true? Should I be frightened?”
“That’s not it,” he laughed a bit, lip curling almost scornfully, scoldingly. He raised a brow, head tilting as if weighing his options. “But no, you don’t need to be frightened. Ask another.”
“I don’t have another question.” She countered, only to state simply and firmly. “You shot a man.”
And he smiled. “I did.” Yunho confirmed.
“On purpose?” she asked.
“Yes, darling.”
Her blood felt cold. She hadn’t met someone like him and it sent her stomach into a cramping mess. Yeosang did take her hand now. Interlacing his fingers softly. He glanced over at his elder as he rose from his chair. Oh, Yunho was tall. Very tall, in fact. With them sitting, he looked giant. His heels thudded against the floor.
“Why?” she asked. Yeosang felt her hand tighten in his grasp.
“He tried to fool me, steal from me,” Yunho stated, walking towards them. “Lied to me. I don’t like being played.”
There wasn’t a moment for the words to sink in for YN. Instead, like a game of tennis, she shot back.
“So, you shot him? Just like that?”
“For your information, yes.”
“That’s frightening.”
“Yes.” Yunho was beside Yeosang now.
“But!” Yeosang was the next to interrupt. “If you must know… Yunho isn’t some cruel man, sweetheart. It was done in self-defense.”
“Self-defense?” she asked doubtfully. Wooyoung and San said so themselves as well.
The air that Yunho carried seemed to be more than that. He wasn’t exactly proud, but he was at peace with what he did. Yunho’s face pulled into a tight thing as he rested a hand on Yeosang’s shoulder. They both looked at her inquiringly.
“He pulled a blade on Yunho,” Yeosang interjected. His gaze flashed to her. “He has the scars to prove it.”
They had an answer to everything. It was self-defense. Not a thing of violence. Of necessity.
She stared at them
“It wasn’t… he struck first?” she repeated slowly.
They glanced at one another before smiling at her with dual grins. Yunho tapped his fingers on Yeosang’s shoulder before he pulled back. A hand went to his chest, gentlemanly and earnest in nature.
“Yes.” He ensured.
Her eyes flickered to Yeosang. He had been a sensible figure – likeable, nothing formidable. If he trusted him, if her Wooyoung and San did. Yunho spoke with such authority. He valued truth just like San did.
Her defensiveness, something she didn’t even see in her body language, softened. Yunho’s sigh was one of understanding as he walked back to his seat, stealing a glance at her. He smiled again, his teeth gleaming in the cande light.
“YN.” He spoke her name luxuriously. “If there is one thing you should know about me. I don’t do mess.”
He plucked a dessert from his plate, biting into the chocolate with slowness. Calculated. He kept her gaze. It sent a thrill through her; he sent a thrill through her. Swallowing together, the corner of his lip curled. He raised a napkin to his lips, gentlemanly.
He was a gentleman, straightforward and powerful. He had to be telling the truth.
“I’m not a messy man, darling-doll.”
The dinner didn’t last much longer. Yeosang encouraged conversation; Yunho threw in some topics, mostly of things she had mentioned to San and Wooyoung. It struck her then that they shared many stories about her. They must’ve talked about her a lot. It made her cheeks flush as red as the chocolate strawberries Yunho ate.
Their eyes were hot on her; it felt like they were captivated and it made her heart race. Like she was on the stage.
She liked it.
Surprisingly, her two patrons made an appearance at the end of the meal. Wooyoung, of course, was the one to pop his head into the grand dining room.
“Swanette!” he beamed at the sight of her.
Yunho took in how her shoulders softened and her chest heaved at the sight of Wooyoung, at his voice. He smiled, softer and truer than any other smile he shared tonight so far.
Wooyoung was dressed the most casual she had ever seen him. A fashionable patterned white-and-black button-up shirt was barely buttoned, revealing a black ribbed tank-top beneath it. His hair was pushed back casually and messy; a rolled cigarette was behind his ear. His slacks were a deep black, loose and flowy rather than a structured fabric.
“Woo,” she barely got out, her mouth dropping at the sight of him.
He smirked, arms slinking over the chair and over her shoulders.
“Hello hyungs,” he greeted the others, barely glancing at them before ducking his head and pressing a less-than-decent kiss to her mouth. Smothering and all consuming. She squeaked into it. A ringed hand rose to cup her guide her head in the kiss, icy cold against her flushed red cheek.
Yeosang and Yunho chuckled out. The sound was a mixture of fondness and annoyance. Yunho’s brow twitched. Yeosang’s hand held hers tighter… he hadn’t let go, of course. But YN hadn’t noticed the entire dinner and dessert. ‘Til now. Her fingers flexed in his as Wooyoung swiped his tongue across the seam of her lips.
“Alright,” San scolded Wooyoung, his hand going to the back of the shorter’s neck. He nearly pried him off her. “Wooyoung!”
“I missed her,” Wooyoung said simply, flushed face and breathless.
His hot breath fanned over her rosy face; his lips were spicy and left hers burning. Mischief twinkled in his eyes as he stole another kiss from her lips. San pulled him back again with a harsher hand.
It was then she got a glance of her other patron. San had freshly washed hair, the locks combed out and dripping over his forehead. He wore a similar tank top to Wooyoung, but in a white shade. Shockingly, he had a pair of workman’s light-washed blue jeans hugging his thighs. Thick thighs, muscular shoulders, tawny honey skin. It was tantalizing, tempting. But when she looked over his face, her mouth dropped in surprise. A bruise kissed at the corner of his lips; his sweet smile tarnished with a purple-red watercolor splotch.
She couldn’t help stand immediately, half in the clutches of Wooyoung. Her hand rose to cup San’s cheek.
“Honey!” he exclaimed out in surprise.
He didn’t shift away, actually bending at the knee for her height, but San was certainly surprised. He had taken the lead between them often. YN rarely made the first move with either of her patrons. But what he had mistaken for sexual tension only led to pain. He was shocked when her thumb’s brush against his lips made pain radiate up his face.
“Ow,” he whimpered, frowning. His brow furrowed.
Yeosang laughed nearby. “He forgot he’s hurt,” the athlete commented.
“It’s been a while,” Yunho added, finishing his drink as he watched the interaction play out.
San’s lips pressed together, blinking rapidly before taking in the concern look on her face.
“Oh, honey, I’m okay,” San tried to reassure. His hand rose to cup her hand that was pressed to his jaw, thumb brushing over it soothingly. “It doesn’t even hurt.”
“You just said ow, you liar,” she scolded him, brows furrowing. “What the hell happened?”
“I’m fine,” he swore, tilting his head to press a kiss that stung his mouth to her palm. “Promise.”
“This town is getting more and more dangerous,” she breathed out.
Her thumb brushed over his cheek softly. His pretty face marred. Without his glasses on, she could see how his eyes sparkled in the chandelier’s candlelight. Soft and starry, as if she hung the world.
“You are an angel,” he murmured. “I’m okay. I’ll live.”
“Wooyoung, will you tell me what happened?” she prompted, not moving. Wooyoung pressed to her side made a humming sound.
“The streets are rough around here,” he said. “Someone really ought to fix that.”
Yunho huffed from across the long table.
San smiled at her again, eyes falling into half-moons. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. His lips stung to do so, but she was worth it. “Thank you for worrying.” He told her. His stomach did somersaults at the thought of her jumping to his aid.
“Shall we walk you out, swanette?” Wooyoung directed instead, head tucking over her shoulder to look at the table. “Yunho has a meeting to attend unfortunately.”
Yunho hissed in through his sparkling diamond-inlayed teeth. “Does the—”
San nodded.
He breathed in through his nose before offering YN a simmering smile. Full of warmth. “It was lovely meeting you, Miss YN. I hope to see you very soon.” He bowed politely before with long-legged strides left the room. Wooyoung winked at him as he passed.
“I’ll join you,” Yeosang offered YN. “You must come visit again soon – in the spring, the gardens are beautiful. We could have tea or -”
“Yeosang likes to take long strolls through the gardens – even if it’s raining,” Wooyoung revealed, finally peeling himself off her back to look at the selection of food laid out. He plucked a grape from a platter.
“You gossip like the upper-class now,” Yeosang commented, raising a brow.
Wooyoung laughed brightly at his friend before popping the fruit into his mouth. “Eh, they rub off on you – I had to keep up with you, Sangie.”
Hmm, it was an interesting interaction. Playful but also… strange. She knew their pasts implied they hadn’t always been wealthy… Yeosang had been a protégé tennis player at a young age but how did he meet Wooyoung? Was it all because of Hongjoong?
San’s hands squeezed her waist. When had both of his hands shifted there? “You sleepy, honey?” he asked.
“Too filling of a meal,” Yeosang complained as he rose to his feet.
As if the food was her reason to getting lost in her head.
“It was perfect,” she countered, taking a step back. “Thank you again for the invitation.”
“Thank you for gracing us,” Yeosang replied, offering her his hand. She took it, and he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. A picture of a gentleman. But he was quick to wrap her arm up into his, pulling her into his side now. Surprisingly daring for the Yeosang she knew.
“Shall we?”
Their exit seemed to take forever just as before. Yeosang lead her down hallway after hallway after hallway. It almost felt like they were navigating a maze. San and Wooyoung framed the two in; Wooyoung on her side and San on Yeosang’s.
“How was Yunho?” San prompted, tentatively. “He didn’t scare you?”
“Did he frighten you – when you were alone with him?” Yeosang repeated, arm tightening around her.
“No, no, he wasn’t frightening,” she reassured them. “He was a surprise certainly.”
“Ah, Yunho was sneaky. He doesn’t like the opera, so he found his own way to meet you,” Yeosang sighed. “I feel like he caused the trouble for me on purpose, so I’d run late. You’re popular around here, sweetheart.” He squeezed her arm teasingly.
“Who else here?” she chuckled. Seonghwa? Hongjoong? She hadnt yet to see either of them – like they were ghosts.
“You’d be surprised,” Yeosang commented before leaning in and admitting. “I quite like you, too.”
He made her cheeks burn red, and Wooyoung giggled.
“She likes you too, Sangie,” he crowed out, fingers reaching to tickle her waist. “I’ve seen her blush over San, over you… Do you like Yunho as well?” Wooyoung queried, his words becoming less and less playful. They were almost inquisitive, as if testing the waters instead.
There was a crack as he lit a match across a gold-leafed frame. He placed the cigarette that was behind his ear to his lips and lit it.
“I did,” YN told him, honestly, as they continued through the foyer. Wooyoung chuckled out, smoke puffing out in front of his face in surprise. He wasn’t expecting her to admit it so fast.
“Not like that,” she interrupt his giggles, face burning. “I just—”
Looking down another hall they, she made out Yunho’s form, tall and slim walking down the hall with purpose. His back to her as they turned into the foyer finally.
“He was kind. Even if he was a bit intimidating… he wasn’t cruel or harsh. Just… confident.”
Yeosang smiled close-lipped. Wooyoung blew out his smoke to the side, the plume passing over the butlers’ faces. Not one flinched or coughed.
The smell of expensive tabacoo wafted over her face warmly as Wooyoung walked in front of them to push open the large heavy doors of the mansion.
“So he wasn’t so scary after all?” he teased. “Wait ‘til you meet Hongjoong and Hwa-hyung. They’re properly-”
“Wooyoung, don’t tease her,” Yeosang defended.
The younger raised one of his hands in defense as he held open the door for them. “I’m just saying – she got pass the guard dog.”
“She hasn’t met Jongho yet,” Yeosang giggled lightly. “He’s truly got a bad case of looking gruffer than he is. He’s our baby.”
Jongho. She had only heard that name once, and it was that night. Her ears rang.
“Jongho?” she queried softly.
He had been at the opera! He was one of their ‘brothers’.
“Or Mingi--Ah, here he is now,” San commented, smiling over at the man standing in front of the green-painted car.
“Hello,” the driver greeted, voice as deep as earlier. His eyes flickered to her arm in Yeosang’s.
Wooyoung smirked at him. “Mingi, I didn’t know you were driving today,” he said.
“I thought you and San were doing business today.”
“It was a fast deal.”
Mingi looked unamused, his siren-eyes looking him and San up and down. “Uh huh.
“You know a Jongho?” she turned to Yeosang as they spoke.
“Jongho is the youngest of us. You’ll meet him soon, sweetheart,” he reassured, squeezing her arm. “He’s busy too often. I think they overwork him; he’s just a boy.”
“He’s only a year younger than us,” Wooyoung commented with a pout.
“He’s a baby,” San agreed offhandedly.
“I think I—"
“Is she going the hell home or not?” Mingi bit out. Before looking bashfully at her. “Sorry, doll,” he apologized for his gruffness. “I’m not used to a dame being around.”
“Its okay,” she mumbled out. Her mind was preoccupied with trying to figure out why Jongho was at the opera… without his supposed family knowing.
Mingi pouted at that. “No, its not.” He admitted. “Don’t take disrespect.”
Her distracted gaze rose and nodded softly, not really processing his words.
Wooyoung tsked out. “Here he goes about respect,” he sighed out. “Hurry up, swanette, or else we will be here for hours.”
There was a rumble of chuckles in the group. Yeosang squeezed her arm once more before pressing close to her ear, cheek to cheek. A whispered “next time it’ll be just you and I, hm?” was hushed into her ear before he unwound himself from her and allowed the others to hover about. “I’ll see you next time, Miss YN.”
San pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he promised. “And again, I promise you, I’m fine.” He pressed another kiss to her hairline before guiding her into Wooyoung’s arms.
He was warm and smelt of smoke. His grin was playful, wolfish as he leaned down and stole her lips into a kiss. He was getting bolder and bolder. His kiss was hot, a lick of his tongue into her mouth this time. She squeaked and he chuckled deeply.
“Mmm,” he moaned as he pulled away just a fraction. Wooyoung smiled as if he was innocent but his teases were devilishly. “Perhaps I should call you little mouse instead of swanette.”
She pushed at his chest, playfully. Wooyoung tugged her closer, grinning. Her face was akin to a rose.
“Let her go, Wooyoung,” Mingi said from the side. His face was sharp as he glared at the other. He didn’t appreciate the teasing. “She must be tired.”
Wooyoung heaved a sigh as if this was the hardest thing to do. He pouted at her before stealing a kiss, pressing a peck to her nose. “Fine,” he relented, unwinding her from his spider web embrace.
“See you soon, pretty. Mingi will make sure you get home safely.”
Mingi nodded steadfast before he offered her his hand.
“Shall we, baby-doll?”
-
Next time, when she woke, it was to a cat’s sandpaper-esque tongue licking her cheek. Little tiny licks with the familiar nuzzle of her wet nose, Z investigated her like any other day. The little more-blue-grey-than-black cat sniffed at her, the talkative pet meowing loudly. Her green eyes blinked slowly at her before she nudged her cheek with her forehead once more.
Her body didn’t burn. It didn’t ache. It didn’t feel like anything. Whatever drugs she was on, they were good. She blinked at the kitten, slow to do anything once more.
She was still in Yeosang’s room. The smell of him was all around her, Jongho’s familiar gardenia aroma mingling in the sheets. YN tried to move. Pushing herself upwards was easier than before but the slightest shift in her legs reminded her of the heavy casts that wrapped her ankles. The pain nothing like before but there was still the zing up her knees that made her pause. Her breath caught as she stared at her limbs before her.
Her reality. Bedbound, grounded. It was a depressing thought. Even more depressing when she realized she wasn’t sure what day it was nor what hour. How many shows had she missed? Did her mother know she wasn’t well? Was she just the same as those folk written about in the papers? Missing and forgotten.
She let out a shuddering breath as she laid back into the fluffy luxurious pillows, contemplating what to do. Should she cry out for them? Hongjoong was the last face she remembered but she didn’t want to see him. Or Seonghwa. Or any of them. Really. Anger burned her throat like the nearby fire place. Z’s whiskers dusted over her arm, nudging at her for attention as she let out another inquisitive meow.
“Leave me alone, Z,” she mumbled into her pillow. The little tongue peaked out to lick her again. “Stop, Z; go away.”
Her tone was raising with her rising grief. That was the only way to describe what she was feeling grief – a mixture of hoping, pleading, that everything had been a dream only to be reawaken to reality. Anger and sorrow clashed like cymbals in her head.
The cat nuzzled her again, and she snapped this time.
“Z, go!” Her hands shifted the quilts aside in a huff, making the little cat hop away, back arched.
“Z, come here,” a voice, melodic as it was masculine, called. The doorway creaked open, the gaslight in the hallway illuminated his figure, bulky in the best way. “Love isn’t in the mood to play.”
She frowned over at him, even if Z hopped off the bed and went towards Jongho eagerly. Her little body pressed against his leg as she passed him, purring softly. He smiled after his kitten before his gaze settled back on his love bed ridden.
“Hi love,” he greeted. “How are you feeling?”
“Angry,” she told him.
“But not in pain,” he smiled.
The youngest crawled up onto the bed, sheets rustling and ruffling as he settled beside her. Jongho wasn’t one to be silenced by a glare or dirty look. He was made for this world – his hyungs’ beloved aegi was used to getting what he wanted. And she was his baby. His love. He wanted her.
She turned her rageful eyes his way. He simply smiled just like the others. “I know,” he hummed. “I tried to warn you.”
He had. He cried to her last night… or a few nights ago? Her anger was quenched by those tears now. Her eyes softened just a smidge, and Jongho took a mile. He pressed his lips to her forehead in a soft kiss. His arms wrapped around her ‘til she was caught in his embrace, warm and coddled.
He indulged in the way she didn’t pull away or yell. He had heard her shouts at Yeosang’s attempts at affection.
“What happened? I remember waking up in pain – why?” she murmured into his chest. Trying to gather information from when she was asleep.
Even now, she felt safe in his embrace. It caused a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach.
He heaved out, her head rising and falling with his chest. “You had an infection – the doctor said it was possible dirt from that alley way. It entered your injury for too long. He fixed it.”
“Is he alive?” she mumbled.
“By Yunho’s grace.”
She felt the ebbing and flowing rage, the despair rush over her again. Almost as if sensing it, Jongho shifted, his chin tilting into his chest to look down at her. He moved to tilt her own chin to meet his gaze. Fiery passion burned there. He liked it better when her passion burned for her dancing… but he supposed it had to go somewhere while she was incapable.
“It’s the way things are,” he told her. “Stop fighting it.”
Stop fighting and give in. Look what fighting did. Just let them control her…
YN scoffed. “I’m not some doll,” she bit back. “Or some—"She wriggled like a worm on a hook. Jongho’s eyes ached, and he reached for her hands. He cupped them in his. His bloodstained ones. How many time had he scrubbed away ichor? Dug it from under his nails? Her hands were dainty.
“It’ll never touch your hands,” he interrupted earnestly. “You’ll never bear it. Our work. Our lifestyles. If that’s what you’re afraid of.”
“I’m bearing it now,” she whispered to him, voice breaking. “I’m afraid of you.”
He frowned, his face firm and thoughtful. He was always thinking her Jongho. He never stopped. His thumbs brushed over her palms, his forehead pressing to hers intimately.
“You tried to leave,” he said. “I didn’t want this. None of us did. If you hadn’t, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You understand what that means – I’m just something you control like your butlers and your members and your-.”
“No.” Jongho interrupted soft and earnestly.
“You are no pawn, my love. You are our priority… our treasure. Always.”
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L&DS LI are for those that... pt. 2:
Content: Gender neutral reader + Non proof-reader.
Note: I'm so glad that those that read pt. 1 saw themselves reflected on what I hc!! Thanks for reading as always, it makes me so happy to be able to read and respond to the comments, wish I was able to respond to those that repost as well... Something that I find interesting is that the people that like people like Zayne or Sylus are quite similar, at least in my opinion! I feel that the part of Caleb still lacks a bit of knowledge about him, but bear with me while I try to get to understand him better. Please let me know if I messed up big time with Caleb...
Sylus:
Sylus is for those that have spent their whole lives misunderstood. The ones that have always been seen as if they were the problem, always being left alone because of their tough/mean exterior. He is for those that have always been avoided even if they are one of the kindest people to walk on Earth. For those that have been cast away because of something that escapes their own control. He is for those that despite their harsh experiences due to their outer appearance still remain kind, fighting in the dark to prove (they aren't sure if to themselves or to society) that the exterior is nothing more than a façade, something that has no real value when it comes to loving.
Sylus is for those that have been always alone. The ones that either became accustomed or forced to do everything by themselves, the ones that were seen as people "mature" for their age. The ones that were praised for being such a good behaving child, even if this was merely a constant fear of being seen as useless or too naïve for their own well-being. Sylus is for those that have always dreamt about having someone that is always for them, the ones that enjoy having their own time alone but hate the feeling of loneliness. Sylus is for those that despite being aware of their own capabilities, need someone that is there, someone who reassures them that they are indeed able to do that and much more, even if they may fail on their first attempt.
Sylus is for those that hate lies. The ones that have always been feeling as if they are missing out on something, even if they aren't really aware of what it actually is. He is for those that have always felt as if people keep stuff away from them, because how are they supposed to trust someone that is constantly hiding vital information from them? Being able to find someone like Sylus, a person that despite having their fair share of secrets, have never tried for a second to lie to them about who they truly are and their likes and dislikes. Someone who will never make them question their true intention behind their actions, someone who will make sure to reassure them, answering to every single question that their lover may think of. Sylus' voice remaining calm and collected as they explain once, twice or as many times as they need just to make sure that their loved one is sure of his love.
Sylus is for those that live for the trope of enemies to lovers. Those that have always yearn for someone that wil love them even after seeing their worst. The ones that have been dreaming about that slow burn love, the one that despite beginning with harsh words and mean looks soon melts into the purest love, one that is born not just from love, but the feeling of pure admiration for the other. At the same time, Sylus is for those that kept fawning over the bad boys in novels and games, the ones that were always seen misbehaving in class, skipping school every single day, you know the drill. That is of course until they meet the main protagonist, the only one who is able to turn them into a better person while still maintaining that care free nature. This ties with how Sylus is for those that feel suffocated within their daily life, the ones that keep imagining themselves running away from all your responsibilities (even if it's just for a single night).
Caleb:
Caleb is for those that have always yearn for someone to protect them. He is for those that have always been forced to protect themselves, growing claws and fangs just to keep their own selves from being hurt. Caleb is for those that constantly craved for someone that would protect them, the ones that had to endure all kinds of hardships since a young age.
Caleb is for those that love hard, the ones that instead of letting go when they get hurt, choose to bite harder, deciding to sink their teeth deeper into the ones they love. After all, that's the only way you have ever learnt to love, choosing to stick to the ones that may hurt them, even if they are aware of just how damaging this is. Caleb is for those that love like dogs, tail wagging towards those that they love, even if they have hurt them before.
Caleb is for those whose love language is acts of service. The ones that pay close attention to what their loved one likes or dislikes. He is for those that love doing things for the others, making sure to listen to their every word just to make sure that they got everything right. Caleb is the one for those that have grown tired of being ignored, the ones that felt unseen, as even as they tried to let those close to them see their inner world, they simply chose to remain blind. Caleb is for those that always dreamt about being listened to, the ones that love speaking about their interests just as much as they love hearing about their lover's.
Caleb is for those that loved the yandere archetype. The ones that loved having someone head over heels for them, even to the point of causing pain, it doesn't matter if it's to him or to someone else, he is ready to risk it all. You know this may sound twisted, but how could you make someone understand just how much you needed to feel it. That desperation, the hunger... Caleb is for those that need their lover to prove just how much they love them, just how much they are ready to give up just to keep you. Caleb is for those that have lived in a constant state of unstability, the ones that have always feared waking up from that sweet dream of being loved. Caleb is for those that only know how to love too much.
#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#sylus love and deepspace#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus fluff#lads sylus x reader#sylus x you#caleb x you#caleb fluff#caleb x reader#caleb love and deepspace#caleb lads#caleb lnds#caleb l&ds#love and deepspace fanfic#love and deepspace#love and deepspace fic
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Hi hun! I'm glad you're feeling better 😙
I see that you write for mha, so I'm hoping you write for Kirishima? He needs more love.
So he's a shy boi who keeps trying to ask out his crush but at the last moment, veers away before he actually can. And reader thinks it's absolutely adorable and keeps feigning innocence to give him time, not wanting him to feel "unmanly" about it 😆 but maybe she ends up confessing herself making him a blushy mess? Maybe add a kiss in there?🙏
author's note: I'm glad to be back too <3 Thank you.
Red as a Ripe Tomato
The lunchroom buzzed with the lively chatter of students. Laughter spilled from nearby tables, and the clatter of trays and utensils added to the soundtrack of a typical UA lunch hour. But for Eijiro Kirishima, none of that existed. Not the conversations, not the noise—none of it. All he could focus on was the way you looked across the table, the sunlight streaming through the windows catching in your hair and making you glow like something out of a daydream.
You were picking at your food, completely at ease, while Kirishima was internally waging a full-scale war with himself.
Come on, man. Just say it. You’ve got this! You’re a manly guy—you can handle asking one question. It’s not like they’re gonna laugh at you or anything.
He opened his mouth, his lips forming the start of something—a “hey” or maybe a “so.” But the sound caught in his throat, and instead, he let out a choked cough. Smooth. Real smooth.
You glanced up, your brows furrowing slightly. “Kirishima, you okay over there?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah! Totally fine!” he replied, voice a little too loud as he waved his hand dismissively. “Just, uh… wrong pipe, y’know?”
“Mm.” You nodded slowly, though the small smile tugging at the corners of your lips betrayed your amusement.
He could feel the tips of his ears burning as he focused on his tray, stabbing his chopsticks into a piece of karaage that didn’t deserve such violence. The food wasn’t the problem—it was the fact that you kept looking at him with that soft, sweet smile. The one that made him feel like his ribcage was too small for his heart and like he was about to burst out of his own skin.
“You sure? You’ve barely eaten anything.” Your voice pulled him from his spiral, gentle but laced with concern.
“I’m good! Seriously!” He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just… thinking about something.”
“Something important?”
“Y-yeah. Really important.” He swallowed hard, his eyes darting up to meet yours before flicking back down. “Like, super important.”
You tilted your head, resting your chin in your hand as you regarded him. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, Kirishima. What is it?”
He froze, his mind going blank. This was it. This was his chance. He could just say it—ask you to hang out, maybe grab coffee or go to that new ramen place downtown. His palms were sweating, and he could feel the weight of your gaze, patient and curious but not demanding.
“I was wondering if you—” He paused, suddenly hyperaware of the way his heartbeat thundered in his chest. What if you said no? What if you didn’t feel the same? Would you think he was lame or—
“Yeah?” you prompted, leaning in slightly, your eyes sparkling with interest.
“—if you think Mr. Aizawa is gonna give us a pop quiz tomorrow?” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he instantly wanted to slap himself. A pop quiz? Really? That’s the best you’ve got?
“Oh,” you said, blinking in surprise. For a moment, it looked like you were about to laugh, but you held it in. “I mean, probably not. He doesn’t usually do pop quizzes, does he?”
“Right, right! Of course. I was just… y’know… checking.”
You let out a soft laugh then, shaking your head. “Kirishima, you’re too funny.”
He chuckled weakly, feeling like a complete idiot. You thought he was funny—not smooth, not confident. Just funny. And he wasn’t even trying to be.
Still, there was no trace of mockery in your tone or your expression. If anything, you looked… fond. Like you knew exactly what he was trying to do and were giving him the space to figure it out at his own pace. It was almost worse, how kind you were being. It made him feel even more nervous.
“Hey,” you said suddenly, your tone a little softer. “If you ever need to talk about something important, I’m always here, okay?”
His head snapped up, his eyes wide. “R-really?”
“Of course.” You smiled at him, warm and genuine. “You’re one of my favorite people, Kirishima. I mean that.”
If his face wasn’t already red, it definitely was now. He mumbled something incoherent and immediately shoved a piece of karaage into his mouth to avoid having to respond.
You watched him with a knowing smile, hiding your amusement behind your hand. Kirishima was a lot of things—brave, strong, ridiculously kind—but subtle was not one of them. You’d caught on to his crush weeks ago, noticing the way he always seemed to hover near you, his shy smiles, the way he’d stumble over his words whenever you were around.
You thought about making it easier for him, maybe taking the initiative and asking him out first. But you knew Kirishima. He had a certain sense of pride, a belief in doing things the “manly” way. If you took the lead, you worried it might make him feel like he wasn’t enough.
So instead, you played along, feigning innocence and giving him all the time in the world to work up the courage. It wasn’t hard—you adored watching him try.
“Hey, Kirishima?” you said, tilting your head.
He looked up, still chewing, and made a questioning noise.
“Do you wanna walk back to class with me after lunch?”
The piece of karaage nearly went down the wrong pipe, and he coughed violently, pounding a fist against his chest. “W-walk back with you? Yeah! Totally! I mean, yeah, sure. That’s cool.”
You laughed, standing up and grabbing your tray. “Alright, then. Don’t take too long.”
As you walked away to deposit your tray, Kirishima slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. “Get it together, man,” he muttered to himself.
But when you turned back to glance at him, your eyes meeting briefly before you gave him a little wave, his heart soared despite himself. Maybe next time…
Maybe next time he’d actually say it.
Weeks had passed since Kirishima had first worked up the courage to tell you how he felt. Or at least, he’d tried to. Each time, his nerves got the better of him, and what started as a firm resolve to finally confess ended with him fumbling over his words and making some excuse to leave. The poor guy had gotten so flustered that even some of your other friends were starting to notice.
“Is Kirishima okay? He’s been acting kinda weird,” Mina had whispered to you one afternoon during training, her eyes darting toward him as he hovered awkwardly near the punching bags.
You’d just smiled and shrugged, not wanting to out him. “Maybe he’s just got a lot on his mind.”
What Mina didn’t know was that Kirishima’s awkwardness was solely reserved for you. Whether it was the way his hands shook whenever he was near you, the way his voice cracked whenever he said your name, or the sheer panic in his eyes whenever you made prolonged eye contact, it was painfully clear to you what he was feeling. And honestly, you found it absolutely endearing.
Still, as much as you enjoyed watching him squirm, you figured it was time to give him a break. He’d tried, really tried, and you appreciated the effort even if he couldn’t quite get the words out. So, you decided to take matters into your own hands. After all, relationships were about balance, weren’t they? If he couldn’t say it, then you would.
The timing couldn’t have been better. The day was warm and golden, the late-afternoon sun casting a soft glow over the courtyard where Kirishima was sitting alone on a bench. You’d spotted him from the hallway and couldn’t help but smile to yourself. He looked so peaceful, his red hair catching the sunlight and his eyes fixed on the horizon as if he were deep in thought. You almost hated to disturb him. Almost.
“Hey, Kirishima!” you called, your voice breaking through the quiet hum of the courtyard as you walked toward him.
His head snapped up, and the peaceful look on his face was immediately replaced with a mix of surprise and nervousness. “Oh, hey!” he said, his voice just a little too loud. He quickly cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to play it cool. “Uh, what’s up?”
“Not much,” you replied casually, stopping a few feet in front of him. “Mind if I join you?”
“Of course not!” he blurted, practically jumping to scoot over and make room for you. He patted the empty spot on the bench, his face already starting to turn pink. “Have a seat!”
You chuckled softly as you sat down beside him, noting the way he seemed to be holding his breath. He was always so animated around his friends, so sure of himself, but with you? He was like a different person entirely—shy, uncertain, and utterly adorable.
“So,” you began, turning to look at him. “You’ve been a little quiet lately. Everything okay?”
“Me? Quiet?” He laughed nervously, his hands fidgeting in his lap. “Nah, I’ve just been, uh… you know, busy. With training and stuff.”
“Right.” You raised an eyebrow, not buying it for a second. “You sure that’s all it is? You haven’t been avoiding me or anything, have you?”
“What? No way!” His eyes went wide, and he sat up straighter, his expression almost comically earnest. “I’d never avoid you! I mean, why would I? That’d be, like, super unmanly and—and—”
“Kirishima,” you said, cutting him off with a gentle smile. “Relax. I’m just teasing.”
“Oh.” He let out a nervous laugh, his shoulders slumping as he realized you weren’t actually accusing him of anything. “Right. Teasing. Cool.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at how flustered he was. “You’re so easy to mess with,” you said, nudging him playfully. “But seriously, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”
“Y-you have?” His voice cracked slightly, and he cleared his throat again, his fingers gripping the edge of the bench. “What is it?”
“Well,” you began, turning to face him fully. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting a little… different around me lately. Like, you’re nervous or something. And I think I know why.”
His face turned bright red, and he immediately looked down at his lap, his hands clenching and unclenching. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mumbled, though his voice lacked conviction.
You smiled, leaning in slightly to catch his gaze. “Kirishima. It’s okay. You don’t have to say it—I already know.”
His head shot up, his eyes wide with panic. “You—you do?” he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper.
“I do,” you said softly, your heart pounding in your chest as you spoke. “And just so you know… I feel the same way.”
For a moment, he just stared at you, his mouth opening and closing as if he were trying to find the right words but couldn’t quite manage it. His cheeks were blazing, his eyes shining with a mix of disbelief and hope.
“Y-you mean it?” he finally managed to choke out, his voice trembling. “You really mean it?”
“I really mean it,” you said, your own cheeks warming as you smiled at him. “I like you, Kirishima. I think you’re sweet, and kind, and brave, and… well, I just really like you.”
He blinked at you, his hands gripping the bench so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Then, all at once, the tension seemed to leave his body, and he let out a shaky laugh, his shoulders relaxing as a huge, goofy grin spread across his face.
“I—I can’t believe this,” he said, his voice still shaky but full of joy. “This is… this is the best day of my life.”
You laughed, feeling your heart swell at the sight of him looking so happy. “I’m glad to hear that,” you said softly. “But, um… there’s one more thing.”
“What is it?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.
Instead of answering, you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. His entire body went stiff, his eyes going wide as his face turned an even deeper shade of red. When you pulled back, you couldn’t help but giggle at the stunned expression on his face.
“Sorry,” you teased, standing up and giving him a playful grin. “Was that too much?”
“N-no!” he said quickly, scrambling to his feet. “It was—it was perfect! You’re perfect! I mean—uh—this is perfect! Everything’s perfect!”
You laughed again, reaching out to take his hand in yours. “You’re adorable, Kirishima. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Y-yeah!” he stammered, his voice cracking again as he tightened his grip on your hand. “See you tomorrow!”
As you walked away, his hand still warm in yours, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. You’d made the right choice in confessing first. And judging by the way Kirishima was still standing there, staring after you with a lovesick grin on his face, you had a feeling this was the start of something amazing.
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#bnha x reader#mha x reader#x reader#bnha#mha#mha fanfiction#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#kirishima x reader#kirishima eijiro x reader#kirishima eijirou#eijirou kirishima
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