#thank you for this but I also dont know how that ever escaplated to what it is now

[wackygoofball]

“i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK” - jaime x brienne

I can’t believe you made me write a 16k frog fic, yet, here we are, yet, here it is, @imagineagreatadventure !!! Though I took the liberty to change part of the prompt to remove them from high school because that doesn’t fit with the ages.

In any case, enjoy … or if not, please don’t shame me for it, LOL.

*flies away*

Freddy the Frog

“Jaime, we aresupposed to dissect this frog – notplay with it!” Brienne snarls, going back over the charts another time in thevain hope that Jaime is finally done fooling around instead of moving on withthe task of dissecting the animal in order to figure out its cause of death.

While Brienne couldimagine more pleasant tasks than that, it is a necessary deed for their survey.If the frog died because of the injection, the whole project may be in danger.However, Jaime Lannister seemingly doesn’t see the severity of the situationand instead loves to fool around regardless of the circumstance.

Brienne is countingthe days from now on. Soon, the survey will be over. They will have gatheredthe results, and after that, she will be free of the shackles of being stuckwith Jaime Fuckin’ Lannister, lab partner and pest at the same time, whose onepurpose beside being his snarky self seems to be to bring her to the breakingpoint.

And he is damn well close to achieving the latter.

“Don’t be sodisrespectful,” she adds.

Brienne was neverparticularly fond of doing those kinds of tests. She would rather do withouttesting on animals, but apparently, this kind of frogs contain a naturalantidote to the Shaking Sickness. If the last survey goes well, the institutecan apply for a bigger budget to run a large-scale test series.

However, that is not going to work if the frogssuddenly die for no known reason, Brienne thinks to herself, gritting her teeth.

“I am not being disrespectful,” Jaime argues. “You want to tear him apart!”

“That is what we have to do from time to time in the course of theexperiments we do. And I honestly can’t believe I have to point that out to aman who apparently holds a degree and has been studying just those frogs andtheir antidote for just as long as I did,” Brienne retorts angrily, readjustingher rubber gloves.

“But it’s a poorlittle frog. Look at him!” Jaime insists, pointing at the green-yellow amphibianwith brown dots, lying on the metal plate before them.

“We are supposed todissect it in order to find out how it died, to be sure that it was not part ofthe antidote extraction that caused its death. We are already far behindschedule and I would rather not prolong this any longer than necessary out of respect for that animal’s life. But we keeplosing time because you rather screw around with it. So let’s get over with theautopsy, write the reports, and be done,” Brienne snarls, giving Jaime a sternlook that falls flat on the stubborn man, however. Jaime seems by far too enchantedwith the dead frog lying limply on the table in front of them.

“But look at hisloyal eyes!” he argues, feigning distress. Jaime lifts the frog’s head to facein his direction. “Freddy, my friend, no one understands us here.”

Brienne knows she shouldnot be surprised at his behavior anymore, the man takes fun in those kinds ofthings all the while, but to see Jaime now lifting the frog to his face asthough it was his pet irritates Brienne even though she has seen that sort ofbehavior what feels like a thousand times before already.

“Freddy. Now it already has a name!” she snaps, pinching the bridgeof her nose. Brienne still asks herself how she came to deserve to be throwninto one team with Jaime Lannister, who seemingly made it his obligation todrive her insane with his constant jesting and joking at her expenses.

But it’s only until this research project is over, she reminds herself, repeating the mantra she hasbeen saying to herself again and again for the last couple of days, because he becamenearly unbearable as of late.

It’s going to be over soon. Over. Over. Over.

“Yes, Freddy theFrog!” Jaime chimes, seemingly pleased with himself for the creation.

Brienne rolls hereyes at him. “Couldn’t you at least have picked a name that is slightly… creative?”

“It has a nice ringto it,” Jaime argues. “I think he likes it.”

He looks at the frogagain, seemingly waiting for a reaction.

Brienne lets out ashaky breath, trying to calm herself. “Now put the frog back down so that wecan run the autopsy. I don’t want to prolong all this just because you find itfunny.”

“I am very sincereabout Freddy.”

“Jaime, I know youjust want to provoke me to anger, but it’s not working,” she warns him,narrowing her big blue eyes at the man who seemingly takes the greatestpleasure in her discomfort.

“Please. Of courseyou are angry, look at you!” Jaime argues, pointing the frog’s wobbly front legat her. “Even Freddy can see it and he’s dead, as you keep pointing out.”

“Are you seriouslyplaying around with that poor dead animal now?”

“I’m giving him onelast fun time before you open him up to check out his guts,” Jaime replies,rolling his shoulders with nonchalance.

“Well, the moment isover,” Brienne tells him sternly. “Now put the frog back down. We have betterto do, well, I have, I don’t knowabout you.”

“We can’t just cuthim open like that,” Jaime pouts.

“What? Why?!”

“That is withouthonor. We have to give him a proper…,” he means to say, but Brienne cuts himoff harshly. “We are not making afuneral for a frog.”

Brienne can feel heatrising to her cheek and the thick column of her neck. She knows she should beused to this madness by now, but Jaime always seems to find another way todrive her crazy.

“Yeah, I know, butbefore we run the autopsy, we might at least say some prayers or so,” Jaimeargues, puckering his lips, looking much younger than he actually is. Briennewas very much irritated once it dawned on her that despite the fact that he isolder than her, Jaime acts like a bratty teenager more often than is good forhim – and for her foremost.

“You proclaimedyourself to be an atheist the first time I met you!” Brienne retorts. And thatwas something she didn’t even care about. Brienne didn’t even want to talk to him the first time they met, butfor some reason, Jaime picked her ashis target of every jest, every slight, and every mean comment he could thinkof – and hasn’t let go of that since she made his acquaintance upon starting atthe institute.

In the end, Brienne’sbiggest regret as of late is to ever have attended the reception party that wasorganized by the institute when all new scientists were welcomed to the team. Becausethat is how she got stuck in the SevenHells of Laboratory with the smugly grinning and way too handsome JaimeLannister who, ever since that night, made it his one goal in life to bring herto the verge of wanting to strangle him.

Because during thereception, Jaime already dragged her into his troubles, and that was whatseemingly sparked the idea in the boss’ minds to team them up in the firstplace, thus dragging her down the SevenHells of Laboratory ever since that party.

I really better should have stayed home that night.

Needless to mentionthat wearing a stupid dress to theoccasion was the second regrettable thing that happened that night, though uponreflection, it was the third. The first two being ever having made theacquaintance of Jaime Lannister, and the second being not having run while shestill could.

“Doesn’t matter. It’stradition to say some prayers for the dead. And that one is as dead as it gets.So, say some fancy last words – for Freddy the Frog. He deserves it,” Jaimesays, pulling Brienne back to the lab with neon lights painting their skinslighter than they are, to the smell of antiseptic, and the buzzing of thefreezers and other technical devices spread across the room.

“How would you know?”she huffs, though Brienne doesn’t even know why she bothers trying to reasonwith the man. It never worked before. Why would it now?

It must be a kind of madness indeed.

“He’s a poor littlefroggy, what was he supposed to do? Slay the Frog King? Become the Frogslayer?”Jaime huffs, amused. “I already have that title, and as it appears, I won’t besharing any time soon.”

That is a scandal meantto haunt him till the end of his days, Jaime is pretty sure of that. And all heever did was to report Aerys Targaryen for his illegal activities when no oneelse was going to do it. Jaime never felt sorry that everything was taken awayfrom the Targaryens’ institutes thereafter. Surely, he felt for the people wholost their jobs, but to him, it was more important to get that madman away fromaccessible diseases and antidotes he could sell to the highest bidder

He’s heard the manbefore – Aerys wanted to spread sicknesses like wildfire, though gladly, itnever came to it.

If that means thatJaime will forever be known as the Kingslayer, then that is so. It is the leastof Jaime’s concerns, to be honest. He stopped caring about other people’sopinions a long time ago, and has no intention of picking the habit back up.All the whispers have faded to a bearable blur ever since he started at the Oldtown Institute. So long he keepsaround the wench, it is only the judgment in her big blue eyes he has to deal with,and Jaime feels like he can do that very well.

And Jaime has his wayabout Brienne so that even the oh so judgmental glances fade to annoyance orshort-lived amusement far sooner than later. All of that is still by far betterthan keeping around people who don’t care about him, and to whom he still hasto behave as though he cared about them in any way. With Brienne, he doesn’tplay nice, and still, the wench won’t whisper behind his back, which is perhapsone of the rarest gifts Jaime has ever received following the kingslaying business.

“And anyway, he gavehis life for the greater cause, and fought as bravely as he could. Freddydeserves some respect for that, Brienne,” Jaime goes on, focusing once again onthe fun of the situation, the lightness of it, and of course, on taking his dear pleasure in the wench’s scowls andhuffs, fading blushes and being unable to speak in sheer anger, frustration,and being flustered.

Brienne sighs,pinching the bridge of her nose, exhaling slowly.

“I can’t believethis… So, just so that you stop: Freddy the Frog, we thank you for your serviceto the sciences. Thanks to you, we hope to be able to find a treatment for thisvirus threatening people’s lives. We owe you our gratitude. Bye.” She looks atJaime. “Satisfied now?”

“Not satisfied, perhaps, but it’s more than Iever expected from you. Though it’s still prettyweak. You really have to work on your delivery. You have to put more passioninto those speeches, Brienne,” he jokes, looking back at the frog. “I mean, Idid not know Freddy very well while he was still alive, hopping around,croaking and whatever else it is that frogs do day in, day out. He was anhonorable frog, I am sure. Thus, his loss is a great one.”

“And what tells youthat this frog wasn’t getting into fights with other frogs all the while? Orthat it was whoring around the whole time instead of being productive? Where doyou take that knowledge from? Hm?” Brienne snorts.

“Because frogs don’tdo that?” Jaime replies, looking back at Freddy. “You wouldn’t do that, wouldyou, buddy?”

“That is preciselywhat they do. Frogs do not live in monogamous relationships. They use theirtime to reproduce and not build life-long relationships of social significance,as far as I am concerned,” Brienne points out to him.

“How would you know?Maybe he did!” Jaime insists, before he starts stroking the dead animal’s backagain. “Freddy, even in your death, the people make fun of you. I bet you werea good frog. You must excuse my lab partner. The wench doesn’t know better. Nomanners in that one.”

“So can we start withthe autopsy at last? I want this to be over and get on with the research. Wehave a schedule, just in case you forgot,” Brienne urges her lab partner,though she knows it’s no use. Jaime knows by now that she is annoyed, and thatis what only ever feeds his motivation.

“No,” is the onlyreply she receives, however.

“What else is possibly there to say or do?” Briennedemands.

“C’mon, show a bit ofsympathy for this poor little fellow,” Jaime says, wriggling the frog at heragain. “That would be a good start already.”

“Just stop,” Briennegroans.

“Freddy, you have toexcuse my lab partner once more. The wench is just pig-headed stubborn and coldas ice when it comes to these things,” Jaime sighs, shaking his head at thedead animal still in his gloved hands.

“Stop calling me ‘wench’and move on. I want to be done,” Brienne tries once more.

She wants this surveyto be over. She wants to wrap up the reports and then head to a new task, awayfrom this particular lab room, and more precisely – away from Jaime Lannisterand his newly found dead friend Freddy the Frog.

“Look at this poorthing. Now we have to take him apart, open him from navel to chin…,” Jaimesays, shaking his head, but Brienne cuts him off rather harshly, “Frogs don’thave navels.”

Jaime waves his freehand at her. “I’m aware. It’s a figure of speech.”

The wench alwaystakes the fun out of everything, no matter his efforts to make the woman loosenup a bit. And the Seven will know that Jaime tried, Gods know he tried, stilltries, daily, by the minute, with little to no results, sadly.

Jaime yet has to getto the bottom of one of the greatest secrets known to humankind, and no, it’sno cure against Greyscale, though that ismost certainly on the top of the list, too, it’s finding a way to makeBrienne of Tarth laugh in all earnest.

He managed to teasesome smiles out of her already, though those were mostly only just signs oflight amusement or misgiving towards him, but real laughter? Jaime did notsucceed yet, no matter his efforts. However, being a scientist, Jaime knowsthat the only way to get to the bottom of a mystery or problem is to try againand again and again, with a new approach each time, until you achieve thedesired results.

Some may considerthat a kind of madness, but it’s the kind of madness that can potentially moveyou forward when everything else is pulling you back. Progress is only achievedonce you start moving in a direction and only ever stops once you dare to standstill. And standing still is no option, and neither is it that Brienne of Tarthgoes on without ever having laughed at him in all earnest, or else he shall bedamned.

“Let’s just getstarted,” Brienne sighs, holding out her hand to Jaime to gesture at him to giveher the frog, but Jaime carefully puts the animal down on the metal platehimself. She quickly grabs the scalpel to get going before he has a change ofmind, but before Brienne can even bring the blade down on the frog’s skin,Jaime shouts out, “You are doing it wrong.”

“No, I am not. I am doing it just the way it is done in the books. This is not the first autopsyI do on amphibians. This is the standard procedure,” Brienne points out to him,glowering at her lab partner in green scrubs. However, much to her dismay,Jaime seems less than unimpressed, one hand resting on his hip as he replieswith a smug expression, “Let me tell you, you are holding the scalpel allwrong. I am pretty sure.”

“I am pretty sure you are wrong with thatassessment, however,” Brienne argues, turning back around to finally get goingwith the autopsy, but of course,Jaime won’t let her.

He just doesn’t knowwhen to stop.

He never does.

“Let me show you howit’s done, wench,” Jaime argues, moving into her path, his gloved handtightening around her forearm to keep Brienne from using the scalpel. Jaimealready means to start moving her arm to guide her, but Brienne pushes him awayas roughly as she can, sending the man stumbling backwards a few steps.

“You will stay right whereyou are,” she snarls, eyes wide, breath hitched, and anger boiling hot in herveins.

“Then give me the scalpeland I’ll do it for you,” Jaime retorts.

“I won’t let youscrew around with sharp objects ever again. The way I know you, you will cutpoor Freddy open, scoop out the guts and fling them in my face only just tohave a good laugh,” Brienne argues.

“I would never dosuch a thing to Freddy,” Jaime replies with a grin.

“But to me you would? Now, that is reassuring,” she huffs.

“Of course I would,for mistreating Freddy the way you did and still do, not taking the poor frogseriously,” Jaime jokes with his typical sort of grin.

“Gods. Just why did they have to put us in the same team as you? Howdid I deserve this?” Brienne moans, putting the scalpel down with a chink asmetal hits metal. She twists on her heel, letting out a long sigh in the vainattempt to control he breathing.

Jaime chuckles softlyat the memories returning to him. “Well, the reception was a bit of a mess. Anentertaining mess, but a mess no less.”

He already fearedthat he joined the most boring institute he could find, only to run into thatstubborn woman who was not at allboring, no matter how Jaime twisted or turned it. And that was when he, for thefirst time in a long while, felt like he made the right choice.

Ever since he startedworking with Brienne, some many things seem more bearable.

“A mess you started,” Brienne corrects him.

“I did not! You were the one to splash your glass ofchampagne on me,” Jaime laughs, calling that oh so perfect moment to mind. Brienne’sface was simply priceless. The fury still heating her cheeks, while coldsoberness flashed across it as she realized that the champagne got spilled.

“After you behaved yourself in a way that was absolutelyintolerable,” Brienne hisses.

That moment was puretorture, just like everything preceding it. Jaime just wouldn’t leave heralone, and at some point, Brienne simply snapped. She snapped and tossed thechampagne at him and his fancy suit by Tyrell.

“Well, that may havebeen the case, but it was on you that you aimed so poorly that you got some champagneon Ebrose,” Jaime snorts.

That moment was puregold. The boss of the institute looking at her as though Brienne had justcommitted manslaughter right on the dancefloor. The wench blushed all shades ofred at once, the only noise in the room having been that of the champagnedribbling down Jaime’s jacket to plop to the ground below.

Pity for the suit, but the result was oh toorewarding.

“Again, you were theone who started it,” Brienne insists.

“All I ever did wasto compliment you on the dress you wore,” Jaime argues.

Which made that wholething ever the more ridiculous for him. Jaime paid her a compliment, Seven Hells. She should know by now thatJaime doesn’t throw out praise like confetti. He made her an honest compliment,but of course, the wench took it all wrong from the very beginning.

Not that much has changed about that since…

“By which you leaveout everything else that surrounded the compliment. Because that was precededby you questioning me about whether I was taking steroids or if I was a guydressing up as a woman after all,” Brienne hisses, flashing her teeth at him.

“… That may not havebeen my smartest introduction, but to my defense, I only saw your muscularback. But hey, I did pay you a proper compliment. The blue suited you aboutwell enough – and that is what I told you, not that you ever thanked me for it,quite on the contrary,” Jaime argues.

“That is not the point,” Brienne insists. “Thepoint is that thanks to this encounter, we were put in a group as means ofpunishment.”

“I find my owncompany quite rewarding, so maybe you just need to change perspective everyonce in a while.”

“As you assertedyourself, I got the champagne over Ebrose, and he didn’t look particularlypleased about the matter, so you really think he wanted to give me a reward byputting me in the same research group as you?” she huffs.

“No, he was pissed, that much is for sure, but Ithink you should finally see that I am rewarding company despite the fact thathe meant it as punishment. Be true to yourself, wench, who would put up withyou if not me?2Jaime argues with a grin.

“I don’t need anyoneto put up with me,” Brienne snarls,hugging her flat chest.

Even less so a manwho seems to believe that she should be grateful that he bothers to make fun of her. Just how far can Jaime be out of hismind at times? Because that is what irritates Brienne perhaps even more thanhis utter foolery on a daily basis: One moment, he acts like this, the next, heis the one to badmouth one of the colleagues for whispering behind her back, asthough it mattered, and as though he cared, because Jaime, outspokenly, prideshimself not giving “a single flying fuck” on what other people may mutterbehind his back or closed doors.

“The lion does notconcern itself with the opinion of the sheep,” was the sentence he keptrepeating to her over and over whenever Brienne called him upon it.

So why should he care about me? And how am I tobelieve that he does so in all earnest if he acts like this most of the time?

Jaime lets out asigh, resting one gloved hand on his hip while holding out the other palm toher. “In any case… Give me the scalpel to send Freddy to the Seven Heavens orwhatever diety frogs have. Do they have a Frog God? Frogod? Do you know?”

He already means tosnatch it from her hands, but Brienne pulls away. “I am not giving you the scalpel back. I told you that I don’t leave youwith sharp objects around preciselybecause we have already been there before and I could still lynch you for it.”

“It was an accident,” Jaime argues, though he can’thold back the laughter once the memories return to him.

“For that it was an accident, you laughed pretty hard,”Brienne points out to him.

She will never forgetthat moment in a lifetime, though she rather would, because that was about asshameful as it is right at this moment to have to discuss with Jaime Lannisterabout the fate about a dead frog they are meant to dissect to wrap up theirtest results.

At this rate, I will be stuck here forever!

“Because it wasgenuinely funny?”

“It was not!” Brienneinsists.

“It was to me,” Jaime argues vehemently, though hehas to try hard to contain his laughter, to which she retorts, “But not to me.”

“I was trying to behelpful!”

“You were not, though,” Brienne huffs. “Which islittle surprising because you mean nothing but trouble.”

“I am a hot mess,”Jaime says with a grin, gesturing down himself with the kind of attitude Brienneis accustomed to by now, but still finds beyond irritating.

Obviously, Jaimedoesn’t have the issue of lacking self-confidence. Objectively speaking, JaimeLannister is a very handsome man. Lean frame, thick blond hair, muscular forall she can say after once walking in on him as he changed and had taken offhis shirt, which was awkward to say the least, and tall, perhaps not as tall asher, but still rather tall compared to most other men. And Jaime knows that. Hemakes no secret of it.

On the contrary,Brienne knows that she is unattractive, too tall for most men to cope with, herhair only ever behaving itself if she gels it back only to make her look evenless feminine, flat-chested if only just to emphasize that circumstance, andmannish from head to tow. And that is something Brienne is aware of ever sinceshe was a young girl and her nanny Roelle broke the news to her.

And sometimes,Brienne wished she could have the same confidence Jaime just happens to have.As much as she values being factual and seeing things for what they are, shewould like at times to not always be confronted with the reality of her looksand that this forces her to act in a certain way, forces her to perceiveherself in a certain manner.

“You are just amess,” Brienne snorts, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

“Please, we both know that I am sizzling,” Jaime laughs.

“If you now lick yourfinger to put on your skin to make a sizzling sound, I will walk out thatdoor,” Brienne warns him.

“You take the fun outof things,” Jaime groans, but then shifts his weight to the other leg, studyingher for a long moment before he goes on to say, “In any case, coming back tothat little accident, I can only repeat it: I didn’t know I nicked yourwaistband.”

“Right,” Brienne huffs, rolling her eyes.

“But I held yourpants in place like a true gentleman would,” Jaime chuckles.

Brienne stares athim, eyes impossibly widening. “Are you out of your mind?!”

“What? Was I supposedto let everyone in the lab get a look at your panties? How dishonorable would that have been of me, you tell me?”Jaime argues.

At some point, hedoesn’t even know how that ever possibly happened, but somehow Jaimeaccidentally slashed down with the scalpel, which ripped the azure waistband ofher scrubs, and once he realized, he held on.

Merely out of reflex, of course.

What was mostdefinitely reflex was that somethingwas on the verge of rising in his pants when he stood before her to shield herfrom view, whereby Jaime came the closest to her that he did up until thispoint of time.

Damn the woman and her cotton panties.

“Honorable would have been not to fling around with a scalpel in thefirst place,” Brienne argues. “Or rather, it would have fitted the behavior ofsomeone who knows not to play around with scalpels, which is something Ithought people learned as children, apparently.”

“I was not playing around with it. You constantlytried to take it away from me, so I had to make some more daring moves to keepyou from it. So, talk about improper behavior with sharp tools. This isentirely on you, wench. And if you were being honest with yourself, you’d admitalready that this was all kinds of hilarious, actually. Thus, you might just aswell laugh it up instead of being a downer even now. I mean, how much time haspassed since?” Jaime insists, to which Brienne replies with a blank facialexpression, “Three weeks.”

“Really? I thought it was longer,” Jaime frowns, wrinkling his nose.He wants to run his fingers through his hair, but once he feels the glovespulling on his follicles, he quickly abandons the gesture.

He honestly thoughtit had been a while longer since that little incident, because truth be told,Jaime lost count of the many times he recounted just that moment in all of itsglorious details, and how thrilling he found that, every damn time.

“Three weeks, fourdays… I will spare you now the hours and seconds to the count,” Brienne tellshim as drily as she can. She blows out air through her nostrils, somehow tryingto contain her anger.

It’s just this project. After that, it will be done,it will be over.

She can go on withher life, her studies, and she can hopefully request to work in the labfurthest away from the one Jaime will be transferred to.

“So, now that werevisited some of our worst memories ever since we were tossed together asresearch partners, how about we return to the task and move on with theautopsy?” Brienne exhales, feeling heat rise to her cheeks, and she can’tafford to visibly blush now, or else she will never see the end of it.

“Nah, I quite likethis game right now. It’s far too entertaining to see you trying oh sodesperately to bring me to reason even though we both know it’s not working,”Jaime laughs. “Ever.”

Brienne is fairlycertain that he wants to grab the scalpel again, but to her utter shock, Jaimegoes for the frog once more and picks it up before she can get to the task.

“Jaime!” she shouts.

“I have an idea!” hesays with a feigned bright smile.

Brienne presses theback of her wrist against her forehead, somehow trying to contain herself. “Howmuch do I have to pay you so that you just forget about it?”

“Please, I am rich.”

Brienne rolls hereyes. She should have seen that one coming, she knows.

“Kiss him,” he thensays, which has Brienne gaping at him. “What?!”

“Kiss the frog! Justlike in the fairytale! That would be a proper goodbye for Freddy. C’mon, onequick smooch!” he teases her, holding the dead animal out to her.

“I will not kiss that damned frog!” Briennegrowls, pushing his hand away.

And that is the finalnail in the coffin for Brienne. She always knew that with Jaime, she would haveto accept some many slights coming her way, but this is too much.

She didn’t join thisprofession to end up back in high school where the boys only ever tormented herwith calling her names and shouting “Brienne the Beauty” or “Beast” after heras she walked down the hallways as fast as she could.

Jaime Lannister won’tput her back in that place.

Never again.

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“Quick smooch. Notongue required.”

“Stop it!”

“Freddy deserves somelove,” Jaime insists, holding the godforsaken thing out to her again and again.

“Kiss that frogyourself if it means that much to you!” Brienne replies through gritted teeth. Jaimelooks back at the frog with a grimace. “I don’t think Freddy was gay.”

“It doesn’t matterwhat sexual orientation the frog may have had. I am no frog, in case it wentwithout your notice. So it doesn’t make a difference.”

Sometimes Briennecan’t believe that she even bothers to try to reason with this man. There issimply no way to achieve it.

“C’mon!” Jaime keepsgoing without relent, meaning to lift the frog to her face once more, butBrienne has had enough. She slaps his hand away as harshly as she can, notcaring whether it hurts or not. Jaime seemingly didn’t see her move coming, sothe frog slips out of his hand and smacks to the ground with a wet slappingsound.

For a moment, the twostand there silently, staring at one another, then the frog, then each otheragain.

“I can’t believe youdropped the frog we’re dissecting on THE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK!” Jaime shouts,already kneeling down to pick the frog back up, calling out in a dramaticmanner, “Freddy, nooooo!”

Brienne looks aroundnervously. “Would you shut it at last?”

“Shut it? Shut it! And that after what you did topoor Freddy,” Jaime argues with fake vehemence, before he shakes his head. “Youjust had to let him down one last time, huh?”

She doesn’t react atall. Jaime grows as he picks the frog back up, stroking over its dotted backonce more.

“Freddy, my man, youdon’t deserve any of this. And I don’t deserve any of this either. See, I haveto put up with this daily!” Jaime grumbles, though a grin plays around hislips, but then he turns to Brienne once more. “Apologize to him.”

“I will not apologizeto a dead animal that never had the mental capacities in the first place tounderstand figures of human speech, and is apparently too dead to hear it evenif it could. This has gone on for far too long already,” Brienne snaps. “Nowput the thing down.”

“You tossed him tothe ground! Who does that?!”

“I accidentallyknocked against your arm to send it flying to the ground. That was not onpurpose. And in any case, the frog can no longer feel anything. That is the point. The frog is dead!” Briennealmost yells, but then catches herself, banging her hand on the metal tableinstead to somehow keep herself from hitting Jaime across the face.

“You are heartless,wench. I expected more empathy from you. Poor Freddy.” He looks at theamphibian. “Maybe I should keep him.”

“No, you are not keeping him!”

“But I could put himin a jar,” he argues.

“Like Selyse doeswith her weird experiments on dead baby pigs?”

Jaime makes a face. “Sheis a creep.”

“Precisely. Do youwant to be one too?” Brienne points out to him. Jaime wrinkles his nose,contemplating, as he looks at the dead frog once more. “Nah. True again, but Idon’t like the thought that he gets opened up and the guts spill out… he’s agood frog. Look at his friendly eyes!”

“Why can’t you just stop?” Brienne groans.

“Why would I?” Jaime replies, mimicking her voice, only to beam ather again. “C’mon, give him a kiss to apologize.”

“I won’t give thatdead animal a kiss. How many times do I have to repeat it before you understand?”Brienne shouts.

“Don’t worry, I amfairly sure he doesn’t have any frog diseases. Or else they wouldn’t have takenhim to extract the antidote from him.”

“I am aware,” Briennesnarls. “But I just don’t care whether it spreads diseases or not…”

He cuts her offbefore she can finish the thought, however. “But you should, upon reflection.Maybe he could give you Greyscale, still. I mean… we don’t know how Greyscalereacts with frogs. Maybe that one has Greyscale and we’d never know of itbecause the symptoms may be different. Have we done studies on this yet?Whether frogs can get Greyscale? And then transmit it to humans? Maybe thatshould be our next project! Just imagine the headlines if we get some solidresults! Killer frogs! Zombie frogs! That would be epic!”

“I will count myselflucky once we are through with this test here, because that means I can finallyrequest another partner and move on with life,” Brienne tells him, blinkingonce the words travelled past her lips.

She didn’t want totell Jaime just yet, fearing that he would torpedo her plans only just to annoyher. However, the shock flashing across his features achieves all but one thing– he is speechless for once, which is a rarity, because Jaime Lannisterseemingly doesn’t know when to stop.

“You just want toabandon me?!” he asks, gaping.

Now, that came unexpected.

“I thought that youtried anything within your powers to achieve just that,” Brienne huffs, tryingher best to hide her irritation at his apparent upset about the news. “In fact,I expected you to do a happy dance now that you get rid of ‘the wench’ you haveto put up with all the time.”

“You are such ahypocrite. I was just trying to have some fun with you, loosening up the mood abit,” Jaime argues. “I didn’t want to chase you away. This is supposed to be fun!”

“By telling me tokiss dead frogs? Or cutting open my waistbands by accident?!” Brienne argues, tilting he head slightly to theside. “Yeah, great fun for me right there.”

“Not frogs, just this one, Freddy, my friend,”Jaime laughs, but then bites himself on the tongue, realizing that Brienne isabsolutely sincere at this moment.

She seriously doesn’t want to be labpartners with him anymore. And that realization hits Jaime far harder than heever thought it would. At some point, he dared to take for granted that thewoman is too stubborn to quit, no matter his jests.

And a part of himhonestly thought she had long since caught up to the game and learned to see itas such.

So much to making assumptions without running propertests… that is most definitely not the scientific method.

“Which assures meever the more that I do right by requesting another research partner or teamonce we are through with this,” Brienne hisses, gritting her teeth, long sinceno longer caring whether Jaime can see her upset or not.

She is upset, shallhe laugh about it all he wants. There is no point in hiding it anyway.

“You alreadyrequested another research partner without even telling me?” Jaime asks,blinking rapidly.

He can’t believethis. And here Jaime thought that the wench and him had a special connection ofsome strange sort, he will admit. However, he didn’t think she would just runaway first chance she got. Brienne seems too stubborn for that.

“No, I asked to be transferred to another research project once thatis wrapped up. The Seven will know whom I will be teamed up with,” Briennesays, her frown deepening as she studies his reaction.

It does seem genuine,but why would Jaime be upset about any of this?

“And in any case, Ididn’t think you ever considered to go with me as a research partner anothertime. To my understanding, we were put together because they wanted to punishus, and we both were counting the days,” Brienne goes on, hugging her chestdefensively. “Or am I wrong?”

“Well, I still thinkthe Gods have sent you to me to punish me for my crimes and make me humbler…,”he means to say, but she cuts him off in a sing-song voice, “Not that thisworked in any way yet…”

“I am on a good path,though,” Jaime insists, puckering his lips.

Considering how Jaimeonly half-heartedly applied to this institute following the scandal, he had torealize over time that it was working with Brienne that somehow ignited thatspark in him again to take the work seriously. Even though he still wants tohave his fun in-between, but that does not in the least diminish his resolve todo his job again, and no longer letting the nickname of the Kingslayer wear himdown.

“Are you?” She cocksan eyebrow at him.

“I tend to think so.Some time back, I never would have bothered to care about those little froggieshere, yet… here I am,” Jaime explains with a grin. “I didn’t care about much ofanything until you flooded me with righteousness and all those other annoyingthings that you are supposed to do to be a decent person.”

Jaime only everstarted caring about something again once he set out to gain Brienne’s approvalor disapproval, depending on the circumstance.

He wanted herapproval on being a proper scientist who wants to do his job.

He wanted herdisapproval on most of the foolery he did in her presence until now to teasesome reactions out of her, to make her laugh, make her see him.

However pathetic that may be, thinking about it now…

“And I am supposed tohave inspired that in you? Becausesurely, that behavior you display right now is not what I would want you tohave at any point,” Brienne snaps.

“You bring out thebest and the worst in me all at the same time, wench,” Jaime chimes. “You aremy little paradox… well, not littlein terms of stature, but you know what I mean.”

“Well, that paradox of yours will resolve itselfonce we wrap up this project,” Brienne retorts, narrowing her eyes at him.

“So now that we areclear on the matter that we want to get over with this, we should do just that– dissect the frog, wrap up the reports, and then move on with our separatelives as soon as it is possible,” Brienne goes on with a sigh, finding her willto fight him fading fast.

Jaime looks at herfor a long moment, and Brienne cannot read him at all. He looks at her blankly,contemplating something, whatever it may be. She bites her lower lip, waitingfor some kind of reaction, but then his eyes drift away from her and back tothe frog once more. “… In any case, it’s decided now. I am keeping him. He ismy friend now, if you don’t want to be.”

Brienne blinks. “Yourfriend?”

“Well, you areleaving me, you just admitted it yourself. Therefore, I have to find myselfsomeone new, and Freddy may be the best alternative, because the other guys aroundhere are idiots or assholes… or both,” Jaime tells her, but then looks at herwith slightly tilted head. “Of course you could become my friend again if youeither told authorities that we will stay lab partners – or you kiss the frog.Those are the only options I see.”

“I am not kissing a dead frog. End of story,”Brienne flat-out replies, gesturing with her hand wildly, not knowing how elseto keep her frustration and anger in check.

This is all too much.For that it’s supposed to be over far sooner than later, Jaime seemingly usesany opportunity now to make her last days as his lab partner living hell, with a damned dead frog if need be.

And here she daredfor only just a second that he could be sincere about the matter.

“Which means that youwill tell authorities to…,” he means to say, but Brienne cuts him off harshly,“Not happening either. I won’t just change my mind about something that isobviously to both our benefit because you want to keep your target to bully.”

“I am not bullying…,”Jaime means to object, but then the door behind them opens, shutting him upbefore he can get to it.

“Kingslayer! Why am Inot surprised to have you lurking around here still?” a man’s voice rings out.Jaime and Brienne turn their heads to see Euron and his mates approaching. Thatman seemingly considers himself the Kingof the Lab, though he has not brought about any sort of scientificbreakthrough that would justify the title yet.

“You mean to say,Octopus?” Jaime asks, crossing his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes atthe red-haired man.

“It’s time that youget the hell out of here.”

“… Why?”

“Your lab time is up.We have the slot after yours, in case you forgot to check the schedule… or areindeed unable to read. Rumor has it that you struggle with that a bit. So getout of here. We have to go on with our project,” Euron replies as he almostwaltzes across the white floor tiles.

“Well, we are notdone yet. So perhaps you just get ready while we finish this up. The lab is bigenough,” Jaime points out to him.

“Nah-ah,” Euronargues, wriggling his index finger at him with a grin. “You are getting out,right now.”

“Well, we still haveto clean up before we can go,” Jaime argues, gesturing at their table wherethey still have their instruments spread out.

“You can do thatafter we are done, I don’t care. We booked the lab, and we are using it now. Ifthat means you have to stay until after we are done… that is on you, not me,”Euron chuckles softly, more than satisfied with himself over this foolery.

Brienne shakes herhead.

Men.

“We’ll just put thatone in the fridge and then we will leave you to your research,” she sayscalmly, taking the frog from Jaime before he can even bother to react. Brienneputs the dead animal down on the tray before putting it back into the fridge.

“Still stuck with thefrog tests, huh?” Euron snorts, amused, to which Jaime comments, “It’s alwaysrich coming from a guy testing on what was it? Sea slugs?”

“It’s a special kindof fish only found near Pyke that you likely don’t know,” Euron tells him witha smirk.

“I bet,” Jaime huffs,mimicking both his facial expression and posture, which doesn’t go unnoticed bythe other man.

“We should head out,then, and return once they are done. C’mon,” Brienne tells Jaime, though he istoo busy glaring at Euron. They had a rivalry going on since Day One, whichBrienne only ever found childish at best, from both sides.

Euron is at theinstitute for a longer time than they are, so he feels as though he has toguard his territory, as it appears, whereas Jaime seemingly wants to show Euronthat it is not his territory, which thus results in fights for dominance overthe most unimportant things ever, such as taking up each other’s slots and thelike.

While Brienne doesn’tperceive her daily quarrels with Jaime as particularly adult, far from it, sadly, she finds theinteractions between those two men even more childish than what they have goingon, which is telling.

“Listen to her,”Euron laughs, leaning against one of the many cupboards by the sides of theroom.

“Freddy better still bethere when I return,” Jaime mutters as he starts to walk.

“What?” Euron frowns,seemingly having caught that.

“You are supposed toleave the frog in the fridge,” Brienne translates. “We still have to run theautopsy to determine its cause of death.”

“I see,” Euron says,nodding his head slowly while licking his lips, which always has somethingpredatory to it that irritates Brienne every time. “Oh, before I forget it:Rumor has it that you will be looking into new projects soon enough. Is it thatyou will be joining us? Because let me tell you, if you want to join at thispoint of time, you will have to prove yourself worthy of it.”

Brienne tilts herhead to the side. “Worthy?”

The other menlaughing has her fairy convinced that she has a good guess on what they wouldhave in mind. For that she knows that she is ugly, Brienne is still baffledmore than often at the fact that men won’t cut those kinds of comments whilearound her.

One should think that being ugly, mannish, and tall isgood for that at least, but no such luck.

“Why would she wantto be on your team anyway?” Jaimehuffs, his eyes narrowing more and more. “Why would anyone if she had a choice not to?”

“Why would she not?”Euron argues, cocking an eyebrow at Jaime.

“Because in contrastto some people around here… right in this room, even, she has a brain and usesit every once in a while?” Jaime retorts. “Which will surely prevent her fromjoining a team such as yours?”

“I am fairly surethat I will not join your research group, because it is not my field ofexpertise and interest,” Brienne replies, ignoring Jaime’s rivalry with Euron.She doesn’t want to get dragged into any more trouble than she already is.

“I could pull somethreads if you really wanted to join,though. I mean, someone has to compensate you for sticking you in one team withthe Kingslayer of all people,” Euron chuckles, seemingly only ever enjoyingpissing off Jaime, which makes Brienne the perfect tool to achieve such, she knows.However, Brienne is not willing to let herself be pushed into that role.

“I will have to see,”Brienne tells him calmly. “It depends on what Ebrose has to say, but that onlycomes out once we finish up this project here.”

“Well, rumor has itthat you are just prolonging the moment of truth because you have the hots forthe Kingslayer. And let me just tell you, that is poor judgment on your behalf,if it is true,” Euron laughs, his friends cracking up with him.

“What?!” Briennegapes, eyes widening.

“Why else would yoube taking that long finishing up that project?” Euron huffs, amused at hershock.

“That is because wehad some setbacks in-between – and because my research partner here likes tofool around instead of fulfilling his tasks,” Brienne says, glowering at Jaime,who only glares back at her in turn.

“Well, you better seeto it that you wrap this up,” Euron laughs. “Would be such a waste.”

He gives Jaimeanother look that he only ever returns with a self-certain smile and narrowedeyes.

“I most definitelywill,” Brienne huffs, motioning towards the door. “C’mon, Jaime. We shouldleave the gentlemen to theirexperiments.”

“The Kingslayer andthe Kingslayer’s Whore. What a lovely bunch the two make, ha?” Euron croons.

“What was that?” Jaimeasks, turning on the heel at once, nostrils flaring.

He has no troubledealing with a cocksure man the likes of Euron Greyjoy, but he just oversteppedthe one boundary he shouldn’t have looked at from afar, even.

“Could you repeatthat another time? I fear I didn’t quite catch that!” Jaime snarls, the cornerof his mouth twitching as he glowers at the other man, who just smiles back athim, casually leaning against the counter.

“The Kingslayer andhis Whore,” Euron chimes. “And hey, I didn’t come up with it, but I find itmore than fitting.”

He looks at Jaime,then at Brienne, only to laugh once more.

“I mean, I wouldn’tbe surprised if he took you from behind while you are alone here in the lab,spread you over that table over there, pull down your pants, and…,” Euron meansto say, but he never gets to finish the sentence. Jaime means to lunge at theguy, but before he can get to it, Greyjoy goes to the ground after Briennepunched him squarely in the jaw.

Euron definitelydidn’t see that coming, just staring at Brienne towering above him, gloved fiststill raised in the air.

Jaime opens his mouthto say something, but that is when Brienne whirls around, grabs him by thewrist, and pulls him out the door.

Both are surprisedthat apparently no one follows them, but Euron’s friends are likely way tooshocked at Brienne’s sudden reaction to even bother to care to chase after her– if they aren’t afraid to suffer the same destiny as their self-proclaimedleader.

The two keep walking wordlesslyuntil they reach another corridor, but then Brienne stops abruptly, letting outa ragged breath.

“You just…,” Jaimesays, still rather taken aback by her sudden outburst, and Brienne completes ina similar manner, “… punched him in the face.”

“You have a niceright hook,” he comments, puckering his lips.

“That is not at allhelpful right now,” Brienne groans.

While Jaime talkedabout her being his paradox to bring out both the best and the worst in him,there is no paradox for her – Jaime Lannister only ever brings out the worst inher, there is no way of denying it now.

This is by far toounprofessional for Brienne, yet, here they are.

“Don’t worry, he’snot going to report you. That would hurt his oh so fragile masculinity by fartoo much. And if you hadn’t done it, I would have at the next moment,” Jaimesays, shaking his head. “Damn, woman, you really have some mad reflexes.”

“I don’t care. Thisis…,” she mutters, but then groans. “Argh!”

She throws her handsup in the air, in desperate need to release some of the tension stored in herbody.

“Calm down, wench,this is…,” Jaime means to say, but Brienne cuts him off.

“No, I am donestaying calm,” she snaps, so agitated that she rips off her gloves and tossesthem at Jaime’s head.

“Hey!” he pouts as heremoves the gloves and lets them fall to the ground.

“Why did you have to play stupid and not follow through schedule?!Just why?! We would long since havebeen out the door. We never would have run into that asshole. Because EuronGreyjoy was the last thing I needed today,” Brienne rambles, adrenaline stillrushing through her system.

It’s enough that shehas to put up with Jaime, but now to have another nemesis in Euron is the lastthing Brienne needed. She just wants to work, she just wants to do her job.Brienne already had the personal torpedo her work here because it was Jaime’sfoolery at the reception that got her stuck in a team with him instead ofanyone else. And now, things may well repeat themselves – and all that becauseJaime Lannister has picked her as her target.

“That wouldn’t changeanything about the fact that he dares to call you that,” Jaime points out toher.

“It doesn’t matter!”Brienne shouts. “I don’t blame you for that I punched him, that was entirely onme, but we never would have been in this situation if, for once, you would have behaved like a man your age, like afriggin’ adult, instead of playing around with a dead frog!”

“How was I to knowthat Octopus would be a Killjoy instead of Greyjoy?” Jaime argues.

He just won’t get it!

“It is not about Euron, it’s about how youseemingly make it your life purpose to drive me insane and prove to beunproductive when we both know that you can do far more and far better. When weboth know that you actually care about the job you are doing a lot more thanyou let on with your attitude. But no,ever since you got tossed into a team with me and showed some of that, youseemingly decided that it’s time to prove the opposite ever since, for some damned reason,” Brienne snaps, the wordsfinally pouring out of her as though the punch just opened up the dam,destroyed it, tore it down until all water could spill out in a massive wave.

Enough is enough.

“I was just trying toloosen up the mood a bit, because you always act like you have a stick up yourass. Seven Hells, woman, brighten up, you got to punch Euron Killjoy! We shouldtotally get a drink and toast to this happy circumstance,” Jaime argues.

“No, and that is exactly why it’s truly for the best that we two aregoing to part ways once that project is wrapped up. That is not the kind ofbehavior I normally display. This was highly unprofessional, whether Euron isan ass, which he is, or not. That is, if they don’t have me fired after all,”Brienne growls.

“They won’t fire you,please,” Jaime huffs. “They made grabby-hands to get a hold on you. Theycouldn’t bake a candidate better than what you have in your CV.”

“Doesn’t matter. Ihonestly had enough,” Brienne hisses.

“The frog was overthe line?” he snorts. “That is thebreaking point, really?”

She should be mad atEuron, not him and the little frog incident, at least in Jaime’s humbleopinion.

“Not the frog per se,because apparently, I am used to your childishness in that regard, but youtelling me to kiss it was what was over the line for me – and the fact thateven now, you don’t seem to realize that this was really one blow too many,”Brienne retorts, nostrils flaring.

In the haste withEuron, she almost forgot, but now it’s right back on Brienne’s mind, and itonly adds fuel to a flame burning deep in the pit of her stomach.

Only Jaime Lannistercan bring her to the breaking point, as it appears. Only ever him.

“It was a joke,”Jaime insists.

What is she talking about?

“Precisely. A joke.And not a very funny one, I may add,” Brienne hisses, gritting her teeth athim.

“Not one of my best,I will admit it…,” Jaime wants to say, but Brienne won’t let him. “Just stopalready!”

Jaime looks at her,stunned. Brienne, wanting to use that small opportunity, steps a little closer,puts her left hand on her hip and takes a steady stance. “I get that big jokeabout the fairytale turned upside-down. Great. Awesome. Make the wench kiss thefrog and maybe that will make her a pretty princess, but of course, nothappening. Ha-ha. Great joke, Jaime, great joke.”

“That’s not at allwhat I meant,” he argues.

Where does that come from?!

“I don’t care. I amhonestly fed up with this. I am fed up with you and your intolerable behaviorand the apparent lack of respect I thought was not the issue because deep down,I thought you truly respected me at least on that level, but… no such luck.”

She shakes her head,finding her powers fading, the adrenaline washing out of her far too fast. Jaimealways tires her with this sort of behavior, but this was just the icing onthat bitter cake. Because Brienne wanted to believe that he cared in some way,only to have him joke even now, only to have him not realize anything at all.

“And now I will gohome. Tomorrow, I will finish the autopsy whether you tie yourself to thattable to protect Freddy from it or not, and finish my reports so that I canhopefully get a new project as soon as possible. I am done. Done!”  she curses, before she pushes away from himand starts to walk away.

“Brienne! Wait!” Jaimecalls after her. However, she is already running off.

Jaime stands therefor a moment, still trying to wrap his head around this. He never thoughtBrienne would react to a joke like that.She always has a thick skin, almost too thick to get underneath in anysignificant way. However, that comment did it to her? Jaime honestly didn’t seeit coming.

Though then again, healso didn’t see it coming that Brienne wanted to get out of the double team,away from him. So perhaps it was poor judgment on his behalf after all.

However, none of thatmatters right at this moment – he has to clarify this problem, Jaime knows. So,he starts walking again.

“… Where to…?” hemutters as he walks through the corridors. “Oh, right.”

Jaime jogs down thehallways until he reaches the changing rooms. He just walks inside withoutfurther prelude, calling out, “Wench?”

Brienne rounds thecorner, readjusting her black tank top, almost falling backwards over one ofthe benches there once she sees Jaime rushing inside.

“What are you doingin the women’s changing rooms?!” she shrieks.

“Is someone elsehere?” he asks.

Probably something I should have checked on before…but oh well, it is an emergency!

“No?” Briennereplies, blinking.

What is he doinghere?

Why did he come afterher?

Didn’t he achievewhat he wanted?

Just why can’t he leave me in peace even when he gotme to yield?!

“Well, then itshouldn’t bother,” Jaime says, shrugging his shoulders.

“It bothers me. Get out!” Brienne snaps, walkingover to her locker to gather her things.

“Nope,” is the simplereply she gets, but would rather do without.

She slams the lockershut – loudly, keeping her back to him. “Just leave.”

“Not happening,sorry,” Jaime snorts. “You know you don’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Jaime, I honestlydon’t want to keep fighting you. That’s not worth it,” Brienne groans.

He nods his head. “Itotally agree.”

“Well, we will keepfighting if you don’t get out right now. I need a break, alright?” she sighs.Brienne just feels drained.

“I don’t want tofight you.”

“Neither do I, butyou keep pushing me,” Brienne argues. “Today just proved it. You seeminglycannot stop once you picked your target, and apparently, that is what I am toyou.”

“You are my labpartner. Well, soon-to-be-ex-lab-partner, according to you. something that wedid not yet properly discuss just yet, because…,” he means to say, but Briennecuts him off harshly. “Jaime, enough already!”

They achieved nothingtoday, other than getting into a fight over a dead frog and punching EuronGreyjoy in the jaw. Brienne is here for work, not for those kinds of things,despite the fact that she can well imagine that this only ever assured Jaimethat he wants to keep her around for his own entertainment – and Brienne isdone serving as such.

“I honestly thoughtyou got it that I was just joking.”

“Just because youthink you are joking doesn’t mean that…”

“That what?”

“That it can’t beover the line more often than it should be,” Brienne says.

That it can hurt.

Even if it’s a womanwho looks like she can take any slight because she is so very used to it thanksto her looks, who stands so tall and strong that it doesn’t occur to most otherpeople that it can pain her, too.

Jaime grimaces,sucking the inside of his cheek into his mouth. That is not at all what heexpected when he walked into the lab in the morning, whistling Six Maids in a Pool, if only just tohave her hiss at him to cut it out to bring up such bawdy songs.

“I didn’t mean for…”

“Oh please. You saidit yourself: This sort of thing is what makes your day, and honestly, Jaime? Iam done with that. You can take the work you do seriously, but seemingly notworking with me, and that means we are both best served by letting this restfrom now on and just focusing on the job, because that is what we both are herefor, doing our job good and proper. You said it yourself. You hate it thatpeople don’t realize that are sincere about this. Well, you won’t be if youkeep that up. So… better to make the cut now.”

“And you don’tdiscuss that with me beforehand?”

“I don’t have todiscuss that with you.”

“I am your labpartner.”

“It doesn’t matter.It’s not uncommon to switch teams, especially if you get tossed into a researchgroup as means of punishment. And to say it once more, I do not get the upsetyou feign right here because you make it no secret that you want to push me asfar away as possible. Why else would you keep jesting with me the way you do?”Brienne argues.

“That’s not at allwhat I meant to achieve.”

“Then what?”

“I didn’t want toachieve much of anything. I just…,” Jaime mutters, biting his lower lip.

Until today, hereally didn’t mean to achieve anything. Everything was the way it always goes,until Brienne dropped the bomb that she wanted to quit him as her lab partner.And that changed the game entirely, he has to realize.

Thus, it seems to behigh time to change the rules, too.

Now or never. Standing still is no option, right?

“You just what? Weretrying to have some more fun? Yeah, well, newsflash, Jaime, I am not here foryour sole entertainment. I thought I made myself clear by now,” she hisses,turning around, back pressed against the cool metal of the grey-paintedlockers, relishing the cooling sensation against her heated skin.

She watches Jaime fora long moment as he seems to “wrestle the dilemmas” for once, instead of her,which serves him right in her opinion, but the short-lived feeling ofsuperiority is over as soon as it came to bloom, because something shifts inJaime’s expression and posture, to something that Brienne cannot read, nomatter how hard she may try.

“You did, and now I wantto make myself clear,” Jaime says.

Brienne can donothing much but stare as Jaime strides over to her, his moves confident,certain, with a goal in mind.

He pushes her againstthe locker with a small thud before pressing his lips to hers. Brienne blinks,trying to think of a reasonable, scientificexplanation how they got from A to B, from fighting over dead frogs to his lipson hers – and her finding herself kissing back with a kind of fervor she rarely– if ever – felt while exchanging heated kisses with a man.

How did A cause B?

How did they end upin this place, right at this moment?

How is that fact now?

They deepen the kisseffortlessly, almost blindly, for a moment completely forgetting about the factthat they are standing in the women’s changing rooms, which do not have themost pleasant smell, mingled with an odd mixture of all kinds of perfumes anddeodorants, Euron Greyjoy and his gang, and even Freddy the Frog. It alldisappears into a blur overshadowed only just by the sensation of their lipscolliding.

Brienne breathes intohis open mouth, blinking at the sensation of his hands on her thick hips, andthe apparent fervor with which he presses against her lips, needing it, needingher.

Because, since whendoes Jaime Lannister need her of allpeople?

For all she knows, heprides himself not having to rely on anyone, always managing himself, doing histhing no matter what people may say, or what she may have to say in particular.Yet, here she can feel it radiating from his fingers, seeping into her skinfrom where he touches her.

They break away aftera long moment, chests heaving, Jaime’s grip on her hips loosening, though hisfingers still stay on the almost non-existent curve of her hip.

The two look at eachother, breathing hard, likely both surprised at the sudden change of the rules.

“W, what?!” Briennecroaks, her mouth still lax after what just happened, after what they just did.

“I suppose I shouldbe relieved that you kissed me instead of Freddy,” he laughs, now soundingalmost nervous. “Far more rewarding.”

Jaime Lannister – nervous. What a scandal! Brienne thinks to herself. As he himself tends to repeat ad nauseum: Jaime Lannister isneither afraid, nor nervous – ever.

Yet, here we are…

“If that is one ofyour weird attempts of making a joke of…,” Brienne means to say, but Jaime isquick enough to interrupt her, “That was no joke. This here right now is nojoke.”

He looks her deep inthe eye, and for a moment, Brienne can’t seem to catch her breath, findingherself rigid from the intensity of his glance, the ardor in his voice.

“Jaime, I…,” she mutters.  

“Let’s be real,woman: While I couldn’t care less about the opinion of others, I guess it’sfairly obvious to anyone but us that our bantering is not just the result of adeeply felt hatred, but actually a growing attraction – if even Euron Fuckin’Greyjoy caught on to the news before either one of us did,” Jaime huffs. “Thisis like ignoring all laid out facts in a research, right?”

“You make joke aboutme the whole time,” Brienne points out to him bluntly. “How about that fact?”

“That is what I just do?And in any case, I always thought that maybe if I tried hard enough, I wouldbring you to laugh. But you are a tough nut, woman,” Jaime snorts. “Nounderlying intentions beyond that. Trust me in this.”

“If you want me toapologize for that…,” she means to hiss, but he cuts her off, “I am not. I am just trying to say that weare… perhaps very good scientists, but rather blind to evidence when it comesto what’s happening around us outside our little lab… or right within it, uponreflection.”

“So what? You mean totell me that after playing around with a dead frog, you realized your hiddenfeelings for me?” Brienne huffs.

That would be evenmore of a scandal than Jaime Lannister being nervous. Brienne knows the factsof her body, she knows the facts of her popularity, and she knows the odds of aman the likes of Jaime Lannister being attracted to her. To say the least, thechances are not very high, if at all existent.

That leaves twooptions, either Jaime just delivered the pitch for his most cruel joke, or hejust presented a piece of evidence to a newly founded paradox between them.

“No, obviously not,though I would account Freddy as being an unexpected catalyst,” Jaime snorts,though the amusement soon fades from his features upon the realization thatBrienne just glowers back at him in turn.

“I suppose what shookme through was when you said you wanted to quit the dynamic due consisting ofus two,” Jaime argues, which has Brienne wondering what of the two options maybe true after all, because of the two options, option two seems still so veryunlikely, despite the fact that she is still trapped between him and the locker,her lips still singing from the bruising kiss they just shared.

“See, I honestlythought you were trying to chase me away,” Brienne points out to him.

“I wasn’t trying to…well, at first, maybe, I will admitit, but that was because you considered me to be nothing but scum.”

“Not scum, justannoying.”

“Case in point.However, even if I may have had some many misgivings in the first place, whichmay or may not have resulted in me trying to chase you away, once we got knowone another a little better… I thought it was friendly banter, and that you sawit in that way, too. It never occurred to me that you still considered that myattempt of getting you away from me,” Jaime tells her with the kind of tonethat has Brienne believe that this is true, that this is fact, though commonsense should tell her that it’s even less possible than Jaime Lannisterbehaving himself for a week.

“You don’t realizehalf the time that you are over the line,” she points out to him defensively.

He shrugs. “A familytrait, I assume?”

“Don’t blame geneticsfor it,” Brienne huffs. “That’s a cheap excuse. Even for you.”

“I am trying, but thepoint is… as you said it, I had some sudden realizations, shall I say?” Jaimetells her. “You will have to cut me some slack for not having figured out allof that new data just now.”

“And so you decide toget territorial with Euron despite not having evaluated the results just yet?”she snorts.

“You are aware that humans are rarelyrational?”

Brienne laughs drilyat that. “You are a living example.”

“Precisely. And let’snot pretend – you can be pretty unreasonable yourself,” Jaime huffs. “Runningoff like that, punching Euron in the jaw, which was clearly the highlightbeside that kiss here right now, which was… exceeding any expectation I mayhave had before by far.”

Brienne makes a face.“You had expectations?”

“A vivid imagination,shall I rather say?” he laughs, and Brienne finds herself smirking, despite thefact that, rationally, she should still be mad, should realize that all of thisis insanity, and that if she were right in her mind, she would not just standthere and ogle at Jaime as he keeps close to her as though he occupied thatplace for centuries, when in fact, any so such contact only came about a fewminutes ago.

“So… the point is… now that I know that youare far better a kisser than I ever thought you would be, having tested thatnow myself, it’d be such a waste notto let that carry on for at least a while longer, right?” he chimes, cocking aneyebrow at her playfully.

“You are sincere,”Brienne says drily, not knowing whether that’s an assessment or a question.

“Perfectly sincere,”Jaime replies with a smile. “You see, with me it’s like that: I may take mytime to make up my mind every once in a while, but if I have to decide, I makethe decision at once and mean to follow through with it.”

“I always knew youwere stubborn.”

“A trait we seem toshare,” Jaime chuckles. “In any case. Think about it. You can be my Princess inScrubs.”

“Even without kissingthe frog?” Brienne snorts, not knowing why she plays along when everythinginside her mind screams at her to interrogate, to reason, but it seems to be asplainly as this: Jaime is the one person who makes her forget about reason, whogets her into the most foolish of fights – even if it’s only just about a deadfrog named Freddy.

“Well, so long youkeep kissing me, I will generouslyoverlook that,” Jaime says with a grin, toying with the hem of her tank top.

“Most kind of you,”Brienne snorts.

Jaime chews on hislower lip, seemingly contemplating once more. Brienne blinks.

Is that the moment where he will realize the realityof this situation and back out again?

Not that she didn’thave that before.

“And really, I didn’tmean that as a slight against you. I meant it as a joke. I wouldn’t want toactually hurt you like that,” Jaime tells her, looking Brienne deep in the eye,to be sure that she gets the message the right way this time. “You are the onlylab partner who’ll ever stick with me. How dumb would it be to chase you awaylike that?”

“Well, you almostmanaged,” Brienne huffs.

“But do you believe methat I didn’t mean for it?” Jaime asks, and Brienne cannot detect any sort ofgame in his voice, any sort of foolery.

Brienne swallows. “Isuppose I will have to…”

“Or I could prove itto you,” Jaime says with a smirk spreading across his face.

“And how would you dothat?” Brienne asks, cocking an eyebrow at him.

He kisses her againat once, grinning against her lips, easily falling back into a rhythm theydidn’t know existed between them until their lips collided.

Jaime really has tothank Freddy for it, as it appears.

While he didn’t knowjust how much he needed this, Jaime has to questions how he could ever livewithout just that contact right at this moment ever again.

So he better sees toit that his lab partner stays right where she is.  

Jaime hooks the indexfinger of his right hand through her waistband, giving it a teasing pull, butshe covers his hand with hers. “Not now. Not here. We won’t feed the nicknames.”

“The Lion does not…,”Jaime means to say, but Brienne cuts him off, “Don’t care.”

“Still a bit angry atme?” he asks, to which she snorts, “Not just a bit.”

“But let me tell you,this can be quite thrilling.”

“Not happening. Wearen’t even dating,” Brienne argues.

“Yet,” he adds. “But,to my defense, we had a lot of lab dates.”

“That doesn’t countas dates,” Brienne huffs. “Just because we had takeaway in some corner or drankcoffee at the cafeteria together doesn’t mean it is an actual date. You do knowwhat qualifies as a date, don’t you?”

“I once took you outfor a beer,” Jaime argues.

“Does not counteither,” Brienne snorts.

“Oh, c’mon, wench,don’t leave me hanging here now. Not after you gave me a taste of what I couldhave had in a long time if we both had opened our eyes to the plain factsbefore the fateful day Freddy hopped into our lives,” Jaime tells her,fluttering his eyelashes playfully.

“No.”

“C’mooooon.”

“You could treat me acoffee now,” Brienne suggests.

“Coffee?” He wrinkleshis nose.

Jaime was hoping forsomething entirely else, involving far less clothing, and preferably action inthe horizontal direction.

“That may count towards a date, now that we… kissed,” Brienne saysslowly, still trying to get accustomed to saying that – because it is now fact,though her hesitance doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaime, since his grin only becomesdarker upon the realization. “And once that is done, Euron will hopefully havecrept out of the lab so we can tidy up.”

“And then we go tothe changing rooms again and I go down on you?” Jaime suggests, beaming at heras he plays with the hem of her shirt again.

“Not very likely,”Brienne snorts, mentally cursing herself when she can hear the air catching inher throat.

“But not impossible,”Jaime argues.

“That would have to besome magical kind of coffee,” Brienne says. “And as we both know, magic doesnot exist.”

“Well, I can make itmagical with my company,” he chimes.

“It is not nearly asrewarding as you make it out to be.”

“It is far more rewarding than you let on,”Jaime insists. “The way you kissed back and mewled into my mouth, you sure ashell enjoy my company – a lot.”

Brienne shakes herhead. “You go on believing that.”

Jaime rewards herwith a dirty look, moving a little closer. “Kiss me again and I’ll prove it toyou, thoroughly.”

“I need caffeinenow,” Brienne says drily, hoping not to give away the game.

Because apparently,that is the fact of what is between them, too – that it is indeed a strangesort of game.

“So? Are you stillswitching teams?” Jaime asks.

“That is not outyet.”

He cranes his neck,studying her. “You didn’t talk to authorities yet?”

“I asked them for anew project. They said I could have one. I never specified what team I wantedto be part of,” Brienne explains.

“So, you didn’t wantto abandon me after all, wench,” he chimes.

She sighs. “Can wedebate on the ‘wench’ part?”

“If you call me your ‘lion’from now on?”

“Then I rather haveyou call me ‘wench’ for the rest of your days.”

“Pity,” Jaimegrumbles with a smirk. “But don’t you worry, you will hear me roar soon enough,like a true lion indeed.”

“That is not outyet,” Brienne huffs.

“I am fairly surethat this hypothesis will turn out true,” Jaime laughs. “Well, in any case,wench, now that you got a taste of that hot mess here, it’s only a matter oftime until you can’t live without me ever again.”

“Tells me the guy whoalmost threw a fit when I told him that I wanted to switch teams?” she snorts.

“Tells you the guywho can see very well that you would rather take this to the bedroom already,if you weren’t such an honorable and normally way too prudish woman, despitethe fact that you took quite a risk kissing here with me, though the door isnot even locked,” Jaime argues. “But I’ll get you there, wench. Just watch.Watch and enjoy.”

“And what of Freddybeing your new best friend?”

“He will always havea special spot in my heart,” Jaime says. “He brought us together. We areforever indebted to that little amphibian.”

“Freddy the Frog andMatchmaker.”

“I always knew he’dmake a great wingman. Even without the wings.”

“Can we get out ofhere now? I really need a coffee, and out of here. I try my best not to stayfor too long in the changing rooms.”

“Reasonable enough.Only the Gods will know what bacteria and fungi grow here,” Jaime says, makinga face. “Though if you really wanted to see the horror, you should see themen’s changing rooms.”

Brienne frowns. “Whywould I go there?”

“You already didbefore,” Jaime argues, pulling away slightly, to allow Brienne to move awayfrom the locker.

“That was byaccident, and I instantly headed out again.”

“Right, right, an accident.”

“Yes, an accident.”

“You wanted to seethat goodness before you even tried the whole package,” Jaime laughs.

“Did not.”

“Did, too.”

“At this rate, wewon’t be dating any time soon,” Brienne points out to him as they start walkingout the door.

“What? That issomething you long since got used to, you won’t get to ditch me over that,wench. As I said, you won’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Is that a threat?”

“An educated guess,based on the research I already did,” Jaime laughs, wriggling his index fingeraround as though he was a head teacher.

“Ahhhh.”

They round the nextcorner.

“So? Just todetermine the boundaries of our new survey: What is your stand on shaking it upin, say, the lab?” Jaime laughs.

“That if you want todo it, you will have to do it all on your own.”

“Car?”

Brienne shakes herhead. “I will not answer that question.”

“But we have todetermine the rules, the parameters!”

“We will conduct thatsurvey in due time, fret not.”

“But I have no timeto lose, wench. I already lost about a month! I have to catch up, fast. This istorture already.”

“Are you thatimpatient?”

“We are talking aboutme, of course I am that impatient. Don’t act surprised.

“Well, I am not hereto feed into your impatience. How did you say? I am supposed to inspire betterbehavior in you? How about you learn some patience?”

“Nah, I will justinspire the right behavior in you so that you give in to all of my requests.”

“That isstatistically… very unlikely.”

“Not once I got youin my bed. You won’t ever want to get out again. You will be wax in my hands.”

“One of the firstrules that we should agree on is that you don’t say such things where peoplecan hear us.”

“What? You want tohide me? Our secret love.”

“Don’t be sooverdramatic.”

“You want to deny ourundying love for each other! Of course I have to be dramatic. That is ascandal.”

“You areincorrigible.”

“I rather say that Iam unique – as are you.”

She smirks.

“Oh, and by the way?”

“Yes?”

“I get to punch somepeople in the face now, if they call you that name again.”

“That was a one-timething.”

“It’s only fair if Iget to punch someone now, too. Or else we won’t ever be even again.”

“Are you really thatantiquated?”

“I am verytraditional,” Jaime argues. “And even if not, the point is this: If we arehaving our twisted version of the Frog King, the least you can do is to leaveme to save the damsel in distress every once in a while.”

“I am neither a damsel,nor am I in distress. That is a plain matter of fact.”

“That still means youneed to be saved.”

“I can save myself.”

“Not from me.”

“That… is true,”Brienne says, blinking once it dawns on her that truly, she rid herself ofJaime Lannister, and neither cares to do it, because that game… it’s thrilling,it’s fun, and for some reason, she starts to forget about the slights andcomments already, if only for the easiness of the moment.

And truth be told,this new research area is something Brienne cannot deny interest in any more,though that is obviously something she will not let him know at once, or elseshe would never see the end of it.

Sometimes, or so itseems, your annoying lab partner is the one partner you can’t do without, eventhough you would rather do without.

The paradox of love,or so it seems.

Three Months Later…

“Wench, you are late.Coffee is getting cold already!” Jaime shouts as he sees Brienne approachinghim by the small table by the windows in the cafeteria of the Oldtown Institute.

While everything tooka sudden turn for the two since the Day of Freddy the Frog, the two wereperhaps most surprised themselves at how effortlessly they eased into their newsort of routine, because apparently, not much changed about their interactions,safe for Jaime being even more lewd in his comments, now with the goal ofteasing some very certain reactions out of his lab partner.

However, beside that,they act as though nothing changed, when in fact, everything did, and while bothare eager not to let on on that circumstance, they are glad for it, because itbrought something to their lives that they didn’t know was missing until theyfound it come to life caught between a wooden bench and a gray-painted locker.

Brienne sits down onthe seat across his, while he slides the Styrofoam cup over to her.

“Sorry, had to picksomething up,” Brienne says, running her fingers through her hair. Jaime is morethan pleased that she lets her unruly hair show every now and then, seeminglyhaving gathered some confidence ever since Freddy hopped in and out of theirlives. She no longer cares if the people find her hair a mess, because Jaimekeeps telling her that he likes it just like that, because she looks much morelike herself when she has her hair like that.

“You can’t just not show up in the morning,” he scoldsher, taking a sip from his sugary coffee that is already lukewarm thanks to thelong wait time. “I was fully expecting some satisfaction of certain biological needs and you were not thereto do that.”

Brienne rolls her bigblue eyes at him. Ever since he got a taste of just that action, Jaime can’tseem to get enough of it.

“I told you time andtime again that the little incident in the institute’s showers was a one-timeonly occurrence – and will by no means repeat itself ever again,” Brienne tellshim bluntly, lips wrapped around the cup to take a long sip.

“I wouldn’t call it alittle incident,” Jaime mutters, giving her a teasing look. “For that, you werescreaming far too loudly.”

“Shush,” shewhispers.

“What? They knowanyway that we are doing it.”

“I would still rathernot have people in on where we do what is our private business,” Briennehisses. Jaime laughs at that. While Brienne long since let go of most of herinsecurities while they are in private, only ever having flashes turn up everyonce in a while that he can quickly hush out of her by kissing her, and tellingher the plain facts that he wants her, needs her, and won’t let go of her everagain, she is still rather shy in private.

Though Jaime knows bynow that Brienne really just cherishes the private, and wants to shield whatthey now share among themselves from the glances of the others.

“Right. But in anycase, you can’t just go off without telling me where you are,” Jaime argues,puckering his lips, feigning upset.

“Of course I can,”she snorts. “I don’t have to have you aware of every step I take. don’t beridiculous.”

“Then what did you dowithout me? Other than thinking about me?” Jaime laughs. “Because that is theone thing I can always be certain about. It’s one of those wonderful facts, soeasy, yet so powerful.”

“A lot of things,which had apparently nothing much to do with you,” Brienne tells him, stickingout her tongue slightly. “You are by no means the only thing on my mind.”

“We could change thatrather quickly,” Jaime chuckles, only for his grin to turn darker when heallows his foot to playfully glide up her leg, which has Brienne jolt oh toodeliciously. Her expression is the third best thing in the world, the first twobeing kissing her and whatever it is that they do in the bedroom – or one ofthose other rooms Jaime manages to convince her of himself and his apparentbiological need for her.

“Not in the friggin’cafeteria, are you mad?” she grunts, kicking her leg to the side to rid herselfof him.

“You long since knowthat,” he snorts, leaning back in his chair slightly, relishing the faint blushcreeping up her freckled cheeks.

“Sometimes I justcan’t believe myself that I put up with you,” Brienne sighs, shaking her head.

“You put up with mebecause you know what I can put in…,” Jaime means to say with a lewd smile, butBrienne cuts him off before he can get to it, “I will stop you right there.”

“You wouldn’t besaying that if we were in another location,” Jaime chimes, chuckling softly ashe takes another sip of the colder growing coffee.

“Well, butapparently, we are in this location,” Brienne argues.

“Right, where we hadour first official date. Makes you nostalgic, doesn’t it?” Jaime sighs, puttingon a dreamy expression that has Brienne only ever roll her eye at him.

Truth be told, itstill catches her off-guard to find out that this is her reality now. Waking upnext to him, waking up with him wrapped around her waist, or waking up to himwanting to have another round, depending on the circumstance and stamina, whichJaime surely is not lacking by any means.

However, Briennegrows more and more accustomed to the idea precisely because she realized thatthis reality is far better than the one that they had before the Day of Freddythe Frog. In this reality, she has a man who apparently wants her, needs her,even, not just her approval, but her as a person, her by hi side – and that asmuch as Brienne had to learn she wants and needs him by her side.

Because apparently,it is Jaime who makes her feel like loosening up, leaving the schedule asidefor a while, if only for a quick kiss in the hallways, or stealing away beforeclosing time to get home fast enough because they need each other desperately.

Apparently, statistics can be very wrong at times. Orperhaps they are just overrated when applied to real life instead of just thereal of the sciences.

“… In any case. Youare getting a reward today,” Brienne says, which has Jaime sit up in his seatat once.

“A reward? Foroutstanding sex? I always knew there was a prize for it and that I would win itone day,” he laughs.

She shakes her headwith a smirk. “No prize for that, sorry.”

“I will consider it assuch, no matter what you say,” Jaime argues, hugging his chest.

“If you keep it up, Iwill just take the reward back with me to my place,” Brienne warns him.

“Speaking of which,when are you going to give in and just move into my place so that we can justgo home and get to bed at once? We are losing valuable time,” Jaime points outto her.

It has been a recenttopic of debate, though the two have yet to conduct a survey about the matter,or make a list, as it appears, because there are so many factors weighing in atthis point that both don’t know what position they are arguing for or againstby the end of the day.

“And I already toldyou a number of times that we will not rush this through just because you want tospeed through all the steps.”

“I just want to takethe initiative.”

“Don’t you always?”

“That is my kind ofcharm.”

“Just that it is notcharming.”

“We both know you wantto be with me the whole time. You just play the hard-to-get, as always,” Jaimehuffs, amused.

Though truth be told,he enjoys that kind of game. It makes winning ever the more rewarding. And thatis perhaps the greatest thing about this new set of rules between them now:Jaime feels like winning almost all the time. Because now, even getting into anargument can be very rewarding once they make up in all the delicious ways thathe could only ever imagine while they were only just lab partners.

“I don’t want to havethat discussion right now. As I said, it’s about the reward, not your suddenlife-changing plans,” Brienne points out to him.

“Fine, consider the discussion delayed. Ishould probably better ask you after you turned to goo in my arms after yetanother round of fucking you senseless. It will be far easier to convince youthen,” Jaime says in a lower voice, the blush on Brienne’s cheeks already asmall warm-up reward.

“And telling me that torpedoed any plan of yours toactually pull off that trick. You played yourself, man,” Brienne huffs, bendingdown to fish something out of her bag, only to take out a big jar with mossinside.

“I am getting a jar?No swear jar, I hope? I always hated these things already as a kid,” Jaimegrumbles. “Seriously, you better swear it all out instead of bottling it up. Ishould be able to tell, have been doing that for years, and see where it got meuntil I started letting it all out with you again.”

“No swear jar,” sheassures him with a grin. “And in any case, you are not so badly off, are you?”

“Not anymore. But youlet me swear… most of the time. And let’s be real, you swear like a sailor whenyou rock yourself into…,” Jaime means to say, but Brienne cuts him off, “Whatdid I say?”

“Leave me some fun, c’mon.”

“I give you far toomuch slack already,” she huffs. “Anyway, back to the jar that is no swear jar.”

“Yes?”

“Well, I thought itwould be a nice gesture to compensate your loss of Freddy the Frog,” Briennegoes on to say.

“Man, that autopsynearly had me in tears. Though I am glad he died of natural causes after all,”Jaime says, tapping the flat of his hand against his chest. “Freddy, my man. Ialways have him right here with me.”

“Precisely, so I thought I would fulfill your dream and get you apet friend, but one that is apparently notdead,” Brienne says, before she turns the jar around to reveal a small greenfrog with yellow and brown dots on the back, which looks very much like Freddydid. “Picked him up at the pet store today. He’s yours.”

Jaime grabs the jarwith both hands, letting the jar slide across the table, almost planting hisnose against the glass to look at the amphibian hopping around inside. “Oh,that is wonderful. I don’t know what to say. Look at you, Freddy 2.0.”

“Seriously? That is the best you can come up with?” Brienneblurts out.

“What? That is whathe is. And it is in loving memory of the little froggy who brought us together.The least we can do for our little matchmaker frog,” Jaime argues, tapping hisindex finger against the glass. “See? Freddy 2.0 likes it.”

“He’s your pet, soyou get to name him.”

“Thank you.”

“That also means youhave to tend to him and feed him. I will not do that.”

“But wench, thatcould be our little green baby, as a try-out for actual babies.”

“What did we sayabout leaping too far ahead?”

“I am just taking theinitiative.”

“We see how Freddy2.0 fares, then we see about everything else.”

“So that is no ‘no’to little, blond warrior babies?”

“That is no ‘yes,’ ifthat is what you are trying to imply,” Brienne huffs.

“Oh, and I have somepleasant news for you,” Jaime says. “Not as pleasant as this most wonderfulgift, but… still entertaining even for you, I am sure.”

“Which would be?” Brienneasks, blinking.

“Euron and his gangare in hospital.”

“How is that pleasantnews for me?” Brienne asks, curling her lips into a frown.

“They somehow got themselvesinfected with their stupid little fish experiments. Some fungal infection thatis highly contagious, because they didn’t properly clean up or so, at leastthat is what I heard from Samwell Tarly, and that guy has no reason to lie tome,” Jaime snickers, clapping his hand on his knee.

It still makes him laugh,no matter how many times he heard it by now already.

“Seriously?” Briennegapes.

“Seriously.” Jaimenods. “They announced it this morning in public, and as I said, Sam confirmedanother time. This is about as certain as your everlasting love for me and mygreat sense of humor.”

“I hope they will bealright?” Brienne grimaces.

Gladly, Euron neverreported her, as Jaime predicted, seemingly not wanting to admit that he gotbeaten by a woman. While he still takes his pleasure in teasing them about “theKingslayer and his Whore,” Brienne and Jaime found that they couldn’t careless.

“Euron can die forall I care, but it’s nothing too serious. It just gave them nasty rashesmatching their nasty behavior. I would say that karma finally smacked the rightpeople across the face,” Jaime chimes. “See? Everything turned out right foronce.”

“Which isstatistically speaking still very much a miracle,” Brienne points out to him,but then cranes her neck. “Would you keep the jar’s lid shut?”

“I want to take agood look at my new pet!” Jaime argues as he goes on unscrewing the cap.

“Jaime! Stop it now!”

“What? I am the FrogWhisperer. They listen to me.”

“Freddy was dead, youremember?”

“And Freddy 2.0 willsurely not disappoint me. He’s a good frog, I can see it in his eyes,” Jaime mutters,taking off the lid to reach inside.

“You already saidthat about Freddy, First of his name,” Brienne argues, crossing her arms overher chest.

“He has Freddy’sspirit. And since that is surely true, this one will bring us one step closerto reaching the next level of our relationship, I am sure,” Jaime chimes. “Youwill be my new wingman, won’t you, Freddy 2.0?”

Brienne just watchesas the little frog hops out of the jar, right on Jaime’s arm, onto the table,and then to the ground.

“Freddy 2.0! Heel!”Jaime shouts, already getting up from his seat to gather the amphibian, but thelittle animal has apparently other plans, hopping away from him before Jaimecan catch Freddy the Second.

Brienne can donothing but laugh, covering her face with her hands as her body keeps shakingwith laughter as she sees Jaime chasing the frog, hoping to catch the thingbefore the service personnel comes back to see a frog hopping through thecafeteria, which is surely not allowed.

“Wench, help mealready!” Jaime shouts, but he can only ever hear her laugh, which he wouldenjoy far more if not for Freddy 2.0 betraying him right now.

“Here, froggy,froggy. Here, froggy, froggy.”

“You had to opent ehlid.”

“Just help mealready!”

“No way. He’s yourpet.”

“Freddy, c’mon!”

Brienne leans her headback, chest still heaving from laughter.

The rules of her newlife still have her baffled and confused some many times, but so long this isthe outcome of their little experiment, she will gladly run along.

“Freddy! Come back!”

And all that becauseof frogs.