#thank you for reading through my emotional vent session | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astrologylunadream · 1 year ago

Text

Someone Wants To Comfort You Right Now📱🌪🖤 (Pick a card/Tarot reading)

Hello, this is Lunadream✨ This reading is meant to turn your sadness⛈ into sunshine🌤! Hopefully it works, we will find who is reaching out to comfort you and why~♡ hope you find your message📬🖤

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think deeply how you feel right now, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~✨

Pile 1🧤

Pile 2🦋

Pile 3☯

Pile 4💀

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> ☆✨🖤

Pile 1🧤

Sign energy: Indecision, Violence, Impact, Chemistry, South node, Virgo, Pisces, Jupiter, 8th house, Vertex, 🔪🩱🗞🤒

🌧Your energy: Aww you guys I just want to give this pile a big hug🖤 You have been through a LOT in the past, and now you don't even know what to think of it. Some of you are Virgo, Pisces, Sagittarius and Scorpio. You have been hurt by others before, I am specifically called to say Virgo. Now this could be 6th house placements as well but you have been in some painful situations in the past, I'm so sorry but if you have been subjected to violence this is definitely your pile. You may have had huge intense feelings for those who only made you suffer, and used you for their own benefits. You could have been involved in a news article or have been associated with someone who made an impact on the news (I feel called to say someone being arrested, or violating the law). You may have a comfort stuffed animal, or have a comfort playlist. You have been hurt from close connections and experiences with intimacy. You may fear fate and feel like you are destined to be hurt (that is NOT true😰), I feel like this pile tends to tolerate a lot even if they shouldn't, you say you're fine when you are not fine😭 My pile 1's need to heal and be happy because you have dealt with sucking it up for too long.

🖤Who wants to comfort you: Vent, Event, Book, Seen, Eyebrows, 6th house, Pisces, Aries, Water, 12th house, 🤚🩹💙👸 Omg this may be someone who sees you often or at a regular spot, you may be unaware of them or not know much about them. Virgo, Pisces and Aries energy is coming through. This is a very mysterious person, they really want to hear you vent and let it all out. This could be your therapist, someone you have booked a session with or a scheduled a venting event (a vent event lmao what am I saying) this is someone who may have raised an eyebrow about your situation, they could be very nosy about your current state but only because they are worried about you. This is a spiritual and devine encounter for them to reach out to you, they want to send you love and healing.💌 I am called to say they wanna tell you "you are a queen, keep going and don't let anyone stop you from healing"👑 lmao, well they are right. This is a very spiritual individual, I'm getting that they read books a lot. They wish you would tell someone trustworthy how you are feeling, and what you have been through. This person wishes they could bandage your emotional wounds and help you up onto a pedestal of protection and strength. My god this is a really sweet person.🥺🖤

📬Messages from them: You and them, I wish you felt the same, I want to take your pain away, Ugh, I want to make you happy, I've seen other people, You have this look in your eyes, I can't believe it (😢💙💙) Extra cards: Previous, Finger, Order, Angel, Sweet, Neptune, Taurus, 9th house, 10th house, Scorpio (This could be a guardian angel for some of you♡⭐)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the gloves emoji~🧤 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙

Pile 2🦋

Sign energy: Father, Compulsive, Yellow, Fox, Passion, South node, Pluto, 5th house, 7th house, Air, 🕳🧠♑🔪

🌧Your energy: Alright my lovely pile 2's your situation is complex rn, I definitely see some you guys falling back into repeated cycles. Scorpio/Leo/Libra/Taurus placements, Pluto in the 5th house for some of you. Capricorn is coming out but I feeling a strong energy of hating Capricorn or those traits. If you like the color yellow this could be a confirmation💛 Some of you may have issues with authority or tend to rival those with power or control. Now this pile may have had a father (or more dominant parent) that you hate/don't get along with well. You have a mind of your own and you hate getting manipulated with it. You have experienced people in positions of power being very conniving and selfish, and you wish to have power over these people in order to protect yourself. My pile 2's have a very negative outlook on those that tell others what to do, but this is for a good reason. You don't want to support those who have power over you and others and especially choose to do bad things with it. In the past you may have felt very imbalanced or unfair, could be through your childhood. You often feel powerless or fall into the same connections and mind games, and omg you just wanna cut ties!!😫🔪✂️

🖤Who wants to comfort you: Position, Accident, Compliment, Far away, Late, South node, 9th house, Cancer, Juno, 5th house, ⛓🏝😔✔ Hmmm okay over all this is a very caring energy like you guys someone does really care for you rn💙 They may not be near you physically but they are comforting you the best they can. They want to protect and keep you safe especially from an emotional standpoint, this is a message for only some in this pile but I'm called to say that if you have been dating around or having casual meetings and not wanting to be in a committed romantic relationship, this person is telling you that you are at a point where you need to find a potential committed partner that will keep you safe because they are saying you may not find another chance.🥺♡ Now for some others in this pile this is someone you are refusing to commit to, and have been holding it off for a long time. A romantic connection is possible. You feel distant to this person whatever the case, as if you are on a deserted island far away. This person feels the need to find you my pile 2's, they also wish they could tell you how great you've done and how much you have learned.🤗 They hope you will be free from your mental chains and heal somewhere it is safe. This could be someone from college/university or an educator, they are very well cultured I'm hearing. Could have been an accidental meeting, this is someone from your past.

📬Messages from them: Have you heard of me? Imagine us together, Look at me, Your emotions are to intense, I knew you would feel this way, You might get hurt, You look to good to be sad, I feel so left out, (omg😭) Extra cards: Dating, Fit, Chains, Beauty & the beast, 12th house, Libra, Cancer, Neptune, 3rd house

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the butterfly emoji~🦋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙

Pile 3☯

Sign energy: Frozen, Chiron, Gossip, Soul connection, Over, Jupiter, Saturn, Air, Juno, Mars, 🎀🔜♏🧱

🌧Your energy: My pile 3's are thinking of someone right now🙈💗 I'm seeing some very cold energy though, some of you may have ended a relationship recently!! Something that hurt you greatly and now you will be healing to the fullest😩💙 This was most likely a romantic connection, and now you are putting your walls up from any kind of power dynamics, gossip, and mistreatment. I'm getting that for some of my pile 3's this was a Scorpio partner you chose to shut out. You are still stuck on that connection though, and I'm hearing you can't get over them (especially if you guys were intimate). You may have had a soulmate connection with someone but you have blocked yourself from having those types of connections because you don't want to make the same mistakes.😥😢 Sagittarius, Pisces, Capricorn, Scorpio and air placements. You may be the type to be really into pink adorable aesthetics, or love dressing up cute as a way to cope. You have been through a lot of rumors, others talking about you especially behind your back. But omg my pile 3's you are going through a transformation soon!!🦋 You will finally set yourself apart from things that don't serve you, and you will be strict on who you let in your life. This could happen really soon watch out for jupiter transiting in your chart especially the 8th house!!

🖤Who wants to comfort you: November, Mad, Purple, Sleep, Release, Gemini, South node, Earth, 2nd house, Lilith, 💼☯🍬🧳 Ahhh my pile 3's this is someone from your past, they are reaching out you at this very moment!! OMG this could be the romantic connection you releasee and disassociated with🤯😱😱 I'm getting that this person feels you are "sleeping" on the relationship, and it is "driving them mad" wow. But they want to comfort you right now, they want you to rest, and leave all of the bad energy and negativity you have experienced, to take care of yourself💓 This is someone who is willing to pay for pile 3's sorrows, they would buy whatever they could to make you happy again..🥺😖💙 Gemini and Taurus energy. I feel like this person is very guilty about something, especially the past. The month november could be significant or that is when they are coming to you, perhaps this connection was separated during the month. Now this person does not want things to get worse for you, they really think about you often. I'm getting that they see you as their other half, their dark/light side. I think they know they messed things up, but they want to let go of the past and they want you to focus on self care and relaxing, ridding yourself from bad vibes.😊💤💙

📬Messages from them: In your imagination, I feel bad, Thank you for everything, Tell me why you're sad, I don't want to break your heart, Take your time, I want to learn more about you, We're both lovers even if it's subconscious (My pile 3's your person wants you to feel comforted rn🥺😭) Extra cards: Optimist, Amusement park, Safe, Treat, Difference, North node, Earth, 4th house, Aquarius, Capricorn

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the yin & yang emoji~☯ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙

Pile 4💀

Sign energy: My love, January, Maze, Restriction, Style, 2nd house, South node, Cancer, 7th house, 3rd house, 🩲🦀🧜‍♀️🧍‍♀️

🌧Your energy: I'm getting such siren vibes from this pile, like so magnetic and attractive.🖤 Very hot vibe for this pile haha~ Taurus, Cancer, Libra, and Gemini Gemini placements such feminine energy for you guys <3 Love has been on your mind recently, but I think you have tried to push away relationships a little or not allow yourself to fall into emotions with romantic connections. You are a very stylish and unique, from the way you dress to the people you're around. You love shopping and buying clothes and accessories~ you may flaunt your outfits in selfies🛍🕶🖤 I feel you attract romantic attention effortlessly from your style and the way you express yourself.😍 You don't let yourself have intense feelings because in the past you would get lost in them easily. You enjoy talking about things you like, but you never say what's really bothering you deep down.⛈ Emotions are difficult for you, especially repressing them. No one really sees what goes on under your cool exterior, but you have a soft side to you.💕

🖤Who wants to comfort you: Age, 2nd house, Distance, Choice, Secret admirer, Juno, Venus, Jupiter, Libra, 10th house, 🤷‍♀️📱💚😓 Omg omg this is someone you are not romantically involved with but they have a thing for my pile 4's for real🤯🖤🖤🖤 Ahh they could be older than you by a few years, but they are not someone you are familiar with. You may not know this person at all but they are a potential life partner for you guys it's crazy but this is someone very secretly attracted to you guys, they may have seen you from social media or somewhere online.🥰 This person actually wants to step up and comfort you!! The type to take all your baggage and worries and sweep you off your feet, give you everything you need I mean spoil you...😍💸🛍 My pile 4's this person wants to comfort you now even if you don't know each other yet they wanna be there for you. I'm hearing they want you to distance yourself from social media or using your phone to much, they want you to take breaks and do other things you like. This person hopes to send you love in some way and comfort you, l mean they are so sweet even with the distance between you guys that like doesn't bother them because they just want you to feel better.💓 Definitely someone you will see as marriage material, this is someone with lots of money so they can buy you whatever you want🙈💸💸💸🖤

📬Messages from them: Now is not the time, You shouldn't keep things to yourself, We're too different, Tell me what's been bothering you, Have you heard of me? Tell me the truth, Give it to me, Don't tell anyone (Omg just themmm😍😫🖤) Extra cards: Below, Union, Perfect, Release, Peace, 11th house, 4th house, Air, 2nd house, North node (Omg they see a family🏠 and marriage💍 with you they want to comfort you the second you guys meet it's so romantic they just wanna take good care of you...😭😭💞🖤)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the skull emoji~💀 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

212 notes · View notes

winterspiel · 2 years ago

Text

ﾟ｡What would you leave behind this year? ⋆｡⊹

Before the year ends, let’s wrap it up with a reading on what you would be leaving behind this year? Typing this down and publishing it took me a while as I am tapping into my energy if I’m okay or not tho hope this somehow vibe with y’all! Thank you so much on the last post!!;;

decks used: rider-waite tarot (traditional), spellcasting oracle, magick of you oracle

❅ ੈ ⋆｡⊹ ⋅ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

pls do take note, choose a pile carefully! you may be drawn to more than one pile, breathe in, take your time, and tap into your intuition. do pick what mostly draws you in!

these messages and the context of my readings are from intuition and practice. this is a general reading as well, so do take what only resonates. sending love ♡

feel free to give feedback as it’s very much appreciated!

❅ Yule

do not repost © winterspiel (2022)

༘⋆‧˚ pile 1 ⊹ ⋅* ⟡

You’re mostly working in yourself. Putting yourself together and setting aside the effort on building with the right pieces that fit on that your work and for your growth.

Although your energy at most is kinda heavy, you may be going through something devastating or have inner battles you may not be openly sharing that you’re left tired to the drain. Rockbottom is the word. Though, this breakdown turns into a breakthrough.

Have you ever had that type of crying session, or even when there are no tears involved... You’ve just vented it all out, sorted out all your shiz, and just done with everything. After that staring into nothingness… you “feel” that numbness and overwhelmed blank feeling. You are the void itself.

But those who have gone through plenty of battles are those who know a lot of learning. This would be such a rollercoaster experience.

Though, this might turn you a bit timid after, as this may be a new slate for you to work on. But that’s okay! It would be rendered into new emotions and revelations would be harvested to handle this. Progress has been working for a long time already. This is part of the needed process of your growth. You’re set to move forward to change, and for the better. Cards are also saying to connect with your divine feminine energy or maybe a maternal or nurturing figure might help you out.

I can see this involves mostly yourself, or you may have been spreading yourself too thin. You’re doing too much of what you can give, Pile 1. Sadly, all the efforts you receive back are not equal to the effort you have exerted, as I have confirmed with the card: Maximus: “How can you feed others when your own table is empty?” – you are drained af. I also pulled this twice even after reshuffling. It is time to focus on yourself and take back your control. You may be putting up with your role too much— think about your needs. And you do seem to know that it’s time for taking care of your own now! It is time for your own flourishing. You cannot fully bloom if you do not till your own land with its needed nourishment.

Set your boundaries; “Free yourself” as said in the Liberation card. Some people may not have their best intentions in you, and you’re letting them have free access to more than what's needed with your private/intimate energy. Protect and cultivate your own space. It’s time to let go of those no longer serving their presence to your own growth. It would benefit you more than you’ll ever know.

Things that may help with your clarity may hit home, or you have your home close to your heart. A truth may be revealing itself before this year ends, or you might already know the answer Pile 1. Though you may be having a hard time facing the truth, as it is never truly easy to come to terms with something that might cause you pain. This message that came to mind was “from the crying, there would be realization”. You may be going through a rough closure or falling out with some relationships once you set your goal for your growth. People’s intentions may be clearer once you set boundaries (and it doesn’t benefit them pft). It would be a chance for you to have more clarity on your part. Travel may also be an option but mostly, it is time for yourself. Bit by bit you can eye the pieces that make sense, and eventually, everything will fall into place.

⟡

cards: 10 of Swords, Page of Cups, The Chariot, Queen of Wands, Travel, Truth, Home, Closure, Clarity, Maximus, Liberation

༘⊹

key words: sagittarius, fire signs, cancer, water signs, rockbottom, growth, self, boundaries, growth, detox/declutter

༘⋆‧˚ pile 2 ⊹ ⋅* ⟡

A decision would be cleared out, or a choice would be made after a long time that you have been contemplating it. Decisions and thoughts seem to be all over the place; cluttered. It doesn’t solely involve you Pile 2, there seems to be another party involved. This is a partner decision thing, a committed one. This seems to be love-centric or love-related, and I was called to pull more cards for clarification. Add to that, there seems to be another party involved as to why there's a cause of delay in the decision-making— not necessarily a third-party situation, but outside sources disrupting the energy. It may be family, financial, work, schedule, or a friend group that may be making you hesitant to choose or do that certain decision in mind.

There also seems to be a change in yourself (or your partner or those close to you) with the way that emotions or reactions would be handled in terms of commitment, even life factors. Doors are open that maybe this decision would push you to change, I can see assertion or softness. Either way, it would be changing intimacy in ways you wouldn’t even expect that: “huh, I don’t expect to see them that way, but I like it!” They may turn softer or clingy, or this decision may let you see another side of them handling taxes for example… Just giving you possible scenarios!

Though with the Hex card... (I am not making this up OMG, I also pulled this twice!!) It seems to be what you’re going through is a bit too much on your end. You’re already maxed out. It is time to let time flow its course. Even with the Empress reversed, you seem to be very drained regarding taking the nurturing role to others. Not necessarily you have to be female, but damn you’re really tested for this year. And you’re ready to let go of all that negativity of caring too much. How about your needs? You seem to be trampled over in terms of boundaries. You are so done.

“Be still and allow the enemy to reveal themselves”, there seems to be something getting in your way, but don’t let it get into you. You are the bigger person. Guard your heart. Resist succumbing to their low energy. You are a person who cannot be torn down easily, just walk away with grace. Use your energy instead of focusing on what's needed to be done. Turn to your loving energy to accompany people important to you, they are more worth it. Have “compassion for others”, and be reflective on all the challenges you face.

Your trust would truly be tested on this one, your perspective may shift, or by the year ends you already did see how the picture changed for you Pile 2! Though, it is also a reminder to be wary of who you put your trust in as well. Important to keep your ground and know to stand strong on who you are as a person. The previous discomfort may have taken a toll on you, so it is time for healing. You deserve it after a tiring situation for you.

You are also advised to travel or explore more on what you can do, and test the limits of what you can do. Or make use of your time to spend on things you enjoy and that would benefit your well-being. Try eating at that restaurant you’ve been eyeing for a while now. Tag your loved ones along it if that’s how you like spending your weekend. Been interested in crochet for a while? Why don’t you try, you may never know you’ll be good at it unless you dip yourself into it. We are often blinded by many options at hand, but once we do choose a decision. More often than not, little steps help us progress. If you do end up regretting it, at least you can pick yourself up again as you are surrounded by supportive energy. You alone are a loving energy to have around.

⟡

cards: Queen of Pentacles, King of Pentacles, 3 of Wands, Empress Rx, King of Cups, 7 of Cups, Trust, Healing, Travel, Hex, Ubuntu

༘⊹

key words: capricorn, earth signs, venusian, relationships, long-term plans, planning, decisions, hold your ground, guard your heart

༘⋆‧˚ pile 3 ⊹ ⋅* ⟡

You may be letting go of vanity or caring about your looks– you’re finally getting to that point where you’re tired of what other people think of you. You are no longer caring about how others view you, and you’re just going to go about how you want things to be. Head on, I feel a fiery energy or an all-out surge of emotions for this year. You're done for 2022, Pile 3.

You might have been in this internal struggle or going through a dispute about being underappreciated. Even I am overwhelmed with this pile. May this be lacking boundaries, or questioning your worth due to outside opinions. It is fine to listen to criticism but maybe you’re taking in too much and have gone digging a hole that it’s just too much. This has been a rough year for you to say the least.

You really want to take a step back as you want to reevaluate how you approach self-care, as methods before don’t seem to soothe you. Though, something temporary that can act like a bandage (a nice cup of your favorite drink, a hearty meal, or a face mask) can be a helpful patch to soothe that scratch. Though it is advised not to splurge for just instant comfort. And in these little ways that you acknowledge yourself, it may already be something big that you are proud of that adds as progress for your self-image and growth. This may be an ongoing internal struggle (or an inner victory even) that you don’t normally share outwardly as it’s not something you’re comfortable talking about. Trust seems to always be an important thing for you, but that had been tainted to you at some point this year.

“Be still and listen to the spirits”; It may also be time to tune in to your spirituality, look within and also acknowledge parts that you may not be that proud of. But do know that is still part of you, and you may just need a few re-adjustments on how you can improve and put your energy to a different use. Allow things to pass through and merge into something new; whether it be good or bad, it is part of the process.

Open your mind, maybe even talking it out with people can create connections. You can have more patience with yourself once you also realize the relatedness with others. Compassion for others can also seep through self-compassion. You can gain new perspectives and knowledge from them. If not, at least some weight is lifted off you. “Everything in perfect balance”— with all the negativity you may be feeling, you also need something to balance out all the distress you may be feeling, and through your reevaluation that you may be realizing what may work better for you. How you view the world and how you could handle yourself better.

You may need to take a look at your progress from another perspective or see it in the full picture. You are advised to literally let go of what’s cluttering your space as means of peace. Purge out on people you know that no longer adds to your peace of mind. It is time to spread your wings and take back your control. You radiate light and bright energy in your own ways that influence people’s energy, Pile 3. And that confidence is what you want to bring back into your life as well. It can benefit your skills and how you view your worth. You have your own way of doing things, and it seems so full of passion as it seeps through your actions. Once you do know that taking your time to rest and reconstructing your view sets you back to your authentic self... Doors would be opening for you and things would be clearer for you. Take it slow. By then you can flourish with a fresh perspective.

⟡

cards: Judgment Rx, 4 of Pentacles, 4 of Wands, 5 of Wands, 2 of Wands, The Fool Rx, Confidence, Trust, Passion, Prosperity, Eunoia, Ubuntu, Phenomenon

༘⊹

key words: air energy, fire energy, venus, purging, self-care, compassion, slowly but surely, trust the process

⛧ about me | masterlist | #winterspiel ⚝

#pick a card #pick a pile #pac #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarot community #winterspiel

110 notes · View notes

shytastemakerthing · 2 years ago

Note

Hi! I want to have a romantic matchup from Twisted Wonderland. Please, haha.

I'm 5'6, I have long red hair, blue eyes. My Zodiac sign is Scorpio, I'm INTP, 6x5, 693. It means that I'm a creative person who knows a lot about people. I think and analyze a lot, I'm curious after all. If I find an interesting topic for me, I hyperfixate on it, studying in detail the object of my interest. I usually experience sudden anxiety. I like to keep control of my life, and I prefer not to show my emotions (mostly negative). I am quite open with people I like but never fully open. I don't understand other people's feelings very well, preferring rationality and a logical solution to the problems. I can often show distrust of people and say so directly. I'm inventive.

I'm fond of linguistics, psychology, and astronomy. I can tell someone about it non-stop if they ask. I love drawing, I'm not good at it but I do my best. I love reading. Novel is my favorite genre. I like cooking, I'm very unsecure about the food I make but it somehow turns to be tasty.

I'm attracted to someone who is honest and calm.

Thank you.

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I'm so sorry I'm really late on getting these going, I'm a full time college student working a part time job, while also maintaining home life 😭😭.

I really hope that you enjoy your match up!!!!

I match you with........

Trey Clover

♣️ Tell me this man doesn't radiate calm and relaxing energy who will listen to anything that you have to say..... I'll wait.....

♣️ Okay, wait time is over. But seriously, Trey is a man who will listen to what it is that you have to say no matter what it is about. After all, he is used to the students of his own dorm coming to him for a good vent session. While you may not always be completely open with him, he will never push you on the matter. You are free to talk about whatever it is that you need to in your own time.

♣️ He sees your love of books, and he raises you, more free books. If there is a certain book you have been talking about wanting to get or a favored series just got a new release, he will be surprising you by the end kf the day woth a handcrafted gift and inside is said book.

♣️ Branching off that last statement, READ TO HIM. Please. He doesn't know what it is (it's your voice, we all know this), but he feels oddly comforted when you read to him. It cpukd be downtime at last in the busy dorm and tired just reading to him in either of your rooms (don't wanna assume you're in Ramshackle), or it could even be while he is baking for another Unbirthday Party. Listening to you while he bakes makes everything go b so much faster and it makes for good conversation later.

♣️ While Trey is commonly known for his amazing baking abilities, I believe he is a pretty decent cook as well. He is the type who would love to cook in the kitchen with you. If you're feeling a bit down about a recent dish you tried to make and it didn't turn out quite right, he is sure to be there and help you out. Maybe you guy scan alter it a bit to create your own style. (We won't mention this but there have been a few instances where you both have been caught dancing in the kitchen by various dorm members...... Ace still hasn't let you guys forget it.)

♣️ When the sudden anxiety begins to overtake you, with how perceptive this man is. Trey is sure to notice and he is very quick in helping remove you from the current situation at hand if a situation occurring is the cause. If there is no direct reason that can be seen as the cause, he is still very quick to react, staying with you as long as needed, helping to guide you through and out of the attack. After these attacks, he has made a habit of whipping up some nice hot chocolate and a fresh tart. You are very well taken care of with this man.

♣️ Not understanding the feelings of other people.... Trey is no stranger to this. After all, he knows Riddle. That poor boy is also pretty emotionally constipated. This means Trey knows how to help. Sometimes he'll make little pointers to help you out or maybe other times if you are relaying a story to him about something that happened that day, he will help you possibly see the point of view from the other party.

♣️ Overall, a relationship with Trey is one thay is very relaxing. It is calm, gentle, and caring. He is there when you need him, even if you message him in the middle of the night (he will even bring a plate of cookies). He is very understanding of everything thay makes you who you are and you could never ask for anyone better.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst #matchups #twst imagines #disney twisted wonderland #romantic #trey clover x reader #twst trey #trey x reader #trey clover #heartslabyul #night raven college #nrc

7 notes · View notes

oonajaeadira · 2 years ago

Note

Hi Adira! I'm in a really poopy mood for whatever reason (I think it's because I'm tired but wide awake at the same time and it's 3:49 am and it's DUMB) .... so it's time for another read-through of my favorite massage therapist and his sexcapades. Thank you for bringing him to life for us. Tell PatS I love him very much next time you talk to him (open the doc). <3

I was just chatting with a couple of folks about Pats the other day and I really miss him too. I keep looking forward in my schedule and thinking that I should be able to get another session in with him... I don't know why, but GTTT series is actually one of those that are really easy for me to write and flows so readily once I sit down and start. While it takes me 3 or 4 writing sits for most stories, Pats is efficient and likes to get his done in one! 😂 So I'm like, surely there's an evening I can just sit and pound one out.... But there's always a meeting or emails to answer or an SO having a birfday or a friend I haven't seen for a bit coming to town or a show that's closing that I promised to see....

I'm sorry for all the excuses, I know you weren't asking for them. I just wanted to say that I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I MISS HIM AND I MISS WRITING TIME AND I'M FRUSTRATED AND IT'S HAAAAAAARRRRRDDDDD

Thank you for letting me vent.

And thank you for loving him so much. I am just happy and proud and blushing that I've written something that someone enjoys so much or that brings joy or comfort or any kind of emotion at all. That makes me smile and makes me feel better about this break I'm forced to take. You have made me happy and given me a little bit more gas to get through this day. I'm sorry that you found yourself in a poopy mood, but if Pats couldn't help it, I hope that my wanting to hug you soundly for loving him might help some. <3

3 notes · View notes

aeterna-auroral-avenger · 10 months ago

Note

It's honestly so cool that you live near one of the authors you read and she was your professor. All my authors are in the US while I'm isolated in Canada, so meeting them is near impossible at the moment lol.

Ngl, I was also a bit intimidated when I saw how many books Agatha Christie has. But if you want to do a test run, I do highly suggest The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. I listened to it on audio and I liked the narrator, I think he did well. I won't push it on you though, it's just a personal rec.

Oh, I've also got a couple more questions, plus a rant for one.

How do you organize your bookshelf? I personally have my books by matching height because I'm really OCD, and if things don't match up, I get so triggered lol.

Second, have you ever cried (or just got really emotional) while reading? I certainly have and have no shame admitting that. I've done that with shows and movies too. Sometimes with games. Again, no shame with that whatsoever. And this is where the rant comes in.

It always bothers me when people say that it's "wrong" or "pathetic" to cry while reading something. They use the excuse of it being "fiction", so it's not meaningful or whatever. I don't agree with that at all. I think it's totally okay to get emotional while reading. It comes to show how great something is.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like it's an issue if people don't cry or get emotional while reading. What's wrong is that people are judgmental about it and are typically rude to others. What are your thoughts on that?

-Book Anon

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. Thanks for the suggestion, Book Anon. I could use another audiobook since I'm not listening to anything like that right now. I'll look into it and decide.

I organize my bookshelf based on authors. Every section of books is based on the author, and then within each section, books are in order if they're a series. If they're multiple stand-alones, then it doesn't matter after that.

In relation to your second question, oh heck yes I have. Multiple times. I've done the same with fewer shows and movies than I have with books, but I have definitely shed many a tear over a passage that really knocked me out. And then I just kinda sit there and cry and don't feel like doing anything for a while lol.

I completely agree with your thoughts in your venting session, Book Anon. The problem with people like that is they don't understand how impactful something like a book or a special tv show or something similar can be. It being fiction has nothing to do with its worth. In fact, a lot of times, things that are fiction rank higher in worth than something that's nonfiction.

Stories help us understand and relate to aspects of the world in which we live. We learn through stories; we make connections through stories; we are inspired by stories. It's a fact of humanity since our creation. We need stories, whether they're filmed or written, fact or fiction, we need them. Even the judgmental types who say it's foolish to get emotional over a fictional story.

#tb responds #book anon #books #reading #stories #fiction #nonfiction #tv shows #movies #bookshelves

0 notes

citrusella-flugpucker · 1 year ago

Text

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @novantinuum! Nearly forgot to make the post because I cleared my Firefox session around when I finally updated my install. XP Which is sad because I love a good tag. XD

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

105, though three are tests. The remaining 102 are spread across 7-8 fandoms (depending on how you count spinoffs, though the fic that falls under that purview is one fic tagged with the original and the spinoff so maybe safer to say 7? XD).

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

465,512, though it should be noted I'm listed as an author for Connie Swap's omake collection (which is a standard fic with chapters) in which I wrote 2 of the currently 82 chapters/oneshots present in it. That fic has a total current word count of 223,825, so my personal word count is around/a little more than 241,687.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

(In order of fic count, excluding Testing)

Steven Universe (91 works)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (7 works)

Habitica (3 works) -- Feel like noting 2 of these are hard vent fics (current pinned Tumblr post is a good summation of why) and the other is a draft fic that crosses over with (and is also counted in) Steven Universe)

Wreck-It Ralph (1 work)

Infinity Train (1 work)

Holes (book and movie are listed but it's the same fic) (1 work)

Suite Life on Deck (and Suite Life of Zack and Cody since it's the same fic) (1 work)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Steven Universe, and excluding Connie Swap's collection which has more than any listed here

He's Gone (544 kudos)

The President Kisses Babies, and Other White House Briefs (447 kudos)

I Can't Say with Confidence (373 kudos)

Eternity in a Moment (343 kudos)

Change (339 kudos)

Interestingly, three of these are based in the SU Future "worm theory" popularized by (but not originating from) the person who tagged me. XD

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I want to and make a concerted effort right after a publish, but my likelihood to reply to a comment lowers exponentially the further from publish an update gets. XP I read them all! It's just that unless I find the specific comment really interesting and have a reply to it, after a certain point I just kind of... don't recognize I can do more than read the comment that comes in. Like the idea of replying to it does not cross my mind for reasons I don't fully get? Might be an executive function thing... or maybe I'm just lazy. DX XD

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

He's Gone, without a doubt. It's tagged the way it is for a reason. Technically the extra chapters serve as a little bit of angst ointment but it's originally and intentionally a oneshot (so the extra things are more like deleted scenes, epilogue, sequel vibes). And this oneshot ends in the saddest way possible for all involved. It earned its archive warning.

Branching out of AO3 and over to FFnet for a second, an old Suite Life fic I wrote, Not Worth It (which I'm not linking purely because I'd have a hard time explaining the sort of warnings I'd want to attach if it were on AO3), also ends pretty awful but that's mainly because it was for a "make a strong emotional impact in as few words as possible" contest, and the fastest way to do that is angst, specifically the kind where someone dies and their closest companion feels/sees it coming but is powerless to stop it. (I won the contest by less than one point. ._.)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I... don't know???? I have a lot of oneshots that are pretty happy all the way through (or end happily after a pretty mundane conflict). I'm having a really hard time bringing up any specific one that ends especially happily (other than joking my fake fluff fic, "Steven x A Nice Calm Life Please and Thank You™: A Case for the Realization of a Bold New Ship", ends the "happiest" XD).

I would like to say that out of my current incomplete fics (the ones I still consider myself to have a high likelihood of finishing, that being Intelligent, Educated, and Capable of Earning the Children's Trust (Tears of the Kingdom), You Get Proud By Practicing (Steven Universe), and Realism (SU)), I'm imagining endings that feel happier than prior multichapter endings I've written.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. A long time ago, I got one (1) flame on an FFnet story from someone who was clearly a kid, who was mad I'd written angst (I think this was on Not Worth It, but it could have been on a different Suite Life fic shortly after I discovered how to write angst), but I've been delightfully hate-free.

Closest I've gotten on AO3 has been that one time someone actually complimented He's Gone for its archive warning being relevant to a character they hated. It was clear this person was doing this because I was connected to Discord servers and people who they hated--they had tried to troll a specific Discord server I happened to be in, and they'd by happenstance targeted several people I knew in a different closed-invite Discord server who had posted explicit content to AO3 (leaving them flames for daring to write smut at all, that kind of thing).

Oh, and now that I've typed that, I did forget a handful of commenters came to flame one of my Habitica vent fics back in January/February, but that was because some kid on Roblox Twitter or something decided to spread a falsehood about me abusing disabled children because I told them on a different website (Habitica) that something they were doing could come across as ableist. (AKA I was trying to do the opposite of what they were accusing me of. Also it was a little funny after the initial terror because they were all accusing me of being a nondisabled person (no) who was being awful and unknowledgeable about the disability that I have. XD) Guess I didn't initially think about this one because it had almost nothing to do with the fic itself--they were just trying to find a place away from Habitica's site where they could attack me. XP They probably just searched my name and Habitica and happened to either find AO3 first or for some reason think it was better than coming to my Tumblr or something to do the same thing. XP

This is getting long, but for that last one I'd like to shout out the person who initially came and commented on one of my SU fics for that reason (the only comment from that debacle still up) and then after a confused reply from me, they actually chilled out and explained what they knew about the situation and we parted ways amicably, which is why I have a good idea of where that kid posted about me at all. o.o

TL;DR: Not very much, but that means the few notable instances are REALLY vivid and/or complex. XD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

...I am a sex-repulsed asexual who is not entirely sure whether or not she's heteroromantic because she's not sure she understands romantic attraction at all, doesn't actively ship very much, and needs help from other people to type out curse words. What do you think? (No. The answer is no. XD)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have three works on AO3 considered to be crossovers: Changes (Suite Life/Wreck-It Ralph), Your No-Good, Dirty-Rotten, Gem-Shattering, Rebellion-Leading Mother (Steven Universe/Holes), and The Forgotten Quests (Steven Universe/Habitica, which is the draft document I mentioned in #3).

From a meta standpoint, the craziest is probably The Forgotten Quests, which is a draft document that was going to be a series of challenges in Habitica's Crystal Gems guild which would have seen Steven visiting Habitica and traveling its lands, visiting each region and either accomplishing something or neutralizing a bad event (i.e. a monster attack or weather event or something)--at some point Lars or Lion was gonna show up, all sorts of fun stuff. But the story as these challenges progressed wasn't particularly zany; rather, what makes this one strange from a meta standpoint was that I was going to try to figure out the logistics of running a script or bot that made the challenges run more like a party quest rather than a traditional challenge structure. The logistics were so hard I didn't figure them out before I lost motivation, stopped coding for Habitica, and then got banned for publicly criticizing staff behavior, so I just... posted the planning doc to AO3.

From a story standpoint, it's absolutely the Holes one--Steven gets sent to a prison camp for delinquent youth because he accidentally shoplifted from a store Kevin's mom owned (something fell in his bag), and then some police officers not from Beach City noticed he was connected to Lars' disappearance (while Lars was still in space) so they decided to try him for it. The events of the SU movie were due to start happening while Steven was in jail.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not on AO3 but someone stole the first chapter of a fic I now no longer have up on FFnet. Got that shut down real quick.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not truly. I've provided input (I was one of the people the Connie Swap crew consulted with for their episode 16 story, Loud and Clear) and have been credited/listed as a co-author for someone's fic where I suggested exactly one line of the fic but they wrote the rest.

Unless... I guess you could say I co-wrote the exquisite corpse fic(s) I've been part of--that is, I wrote a section in them with little input from another user, and then someone else wrote a following section with little input from me. The only live on AO3 one is The Cluster Halloween Exquisite Corpse 2019, though.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't... really ship? But I can vibe with Connverse (Connie/Steven, SU), Zelink (Zelda/Link, TOTK), and Jeff/Peedee (SU)? I guess?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Probably Rose to the Occasion (I just can't figure out where I want the fic to go), Auto-Injector (I can't get myself to write the ideas I know I have), Lost and Found (I don't know who to focus on), or the Holes one (how do I make the movie happen while Steven's in jail???).

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm good at painting a descriptive picture... except when I'm not. XD

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Microsoft Word 2007 says I regularly write "long sentences". I have since found out Word considers a long sentence anything more than 60 words. So that's fun!

Also I struggle with figuring out endings, especially in multi-chapter plots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm not fluent enough in any language with a commonly used written form other than English! So I don't!

I have been known to write in ASL gloss in some drafts, though I don't publish in gloss, because the gloss helps me know how the sentence would be signed by that character if I'd like to describe it in the surrounding prose (I'm reasonably fluent in ASL, though my lack of recent interaction with the deaf community means I'm a bit rusty in practice--but you don't literally live inside a deaf school for a year and complete all your deaf ed classes for your deaf ed + mild intervention major without becoming reasonably fluent).

When I don't do this, it's often because it's less likely that the character in question is signing something mutually intelligible with ASL--for instance, I don't do it in Intelligent, Educated, and Capable of Earning the Children's Trust mostly because while I don't know that I'm comfortable imagining a whole signed conlang from a linguistic standpoint, I know enough in my head about its imaginary origins to be sure it doesn't really look as much like ASL as some other passages of characters signing I've written in the past.

One thing I definitely don't do in any sign language writing I ever do is describe a character's name sign. This isn't because the character in question wouldn't have one or wouldn't assign one to someone else but is instead purely because under US ASL deaf culture rules, it is taboo for me (as a hearing person) to give people name signs. My obedience/observance of this cultural more extends to me writing a character, even if assigning the same rules to that character means that they would be able to assign name signs in-universe. I just can't make myself describe a name sign (either that a character already has or that a character assigns someone else) because it feels like me, the author, creating and assigning a name sign in opposition with that cultural more that says I shouldn't/can't. I feel weird doing it, so I simply don't.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody! Way back in 2007 or so! Fic isn't even still up! (It was a crossover with Full House but was more firmly grounded in the TSL side of things, i.e. taking place at the Tipton, focusing on Suite Life characters often, etc.)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Hmm... I've really enjoyed the work I've put in on Rose to the Occasion and Intelligent, Educated, and Capable of Earning the Children's Trust. Honorable Mentions to You Get Proud By Practicing (and its soft companion, The Candle Burns Low But Still It Burns), Beach City Zombie Club, Just a Little Something Else Instead, and I'm Supposed to Be Able to Tell.

Tags:

I find I tag people who aren't so interested in doing these things half the time, so I'm including no specific mentions here. Interested in answering these questions? Then do it!

#long post #really long post #SUPER long post

1 note · View note

vampsquerade · 2 years ago

Note

Can you do a doc x male reader where the reader keeps trying to play off the fact he’s injured but then passes out due to his wounds and gets scolded by doc?

of course!! thank you so much for requesting this, this was so cute when i first read it and i’m so sorry i took so long to answer!!💕💕💕

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Doc x Male!Reader: Do as You’re Told

Trigger Warnings: angst (with a happy ending), denial, injuries, fainting, scolding, comfort/hurt, emotional venting, mentions of: bodily harm (gashed leg, shattered ankle, bruises, cuts, full body aches), blood

“Gustave, we need your help! Y/N’s been- h-hey!” Julien exclaimed out of shock, doing his best to help keep you standing. “Get off…I-I can stand on my own god dammit…” you curse, glaring daggers at the Frenchman that was supporting you. “I was just trying to help.” Julien said. “Look, quit arguing and tell me what’s happened.” Gustave said, crossing his arms against his chest. “Y/N got-” Julien began, only to be cut off by you, “Nothing wrong with him, don’t even worry about him.” you seethe, huffing. “He was severely wounded in today’s training session. There’s a gash in his calf, and his ankle is shattered. Just- look down at his legs...” Gilles chimed in, a worried tone in his voice.

Gustave would do just that, eyes widening once they fell upon the leg that couldn’t hold you up. “Y/N, you can’t possibly think you’ll be able to hold yourself up with that leg. Surely not.” he said, eyes flicking back up to your own. “I can and I will. Let me show you.” you say pridefully and begin to take excruciatingly painful steps away from the group, and it’s clearly obvious you won’t be able to get any further. “Y/N, mon ami, please stop walking.” Gustave said. “I’ll be fine, just…leave me be. I’ll make it to the showers fine.” you reassure through gritted teeth.

Taking a couple more steps, your body fully succumbs to the shock, and your brain practically electrocutes you and your entire being. You wheeze softly, legs mindlessly taking two more steps before you go limp on the concrete ground beneath you. You’re quickly picked up by the three other men that accompanied you, whisked away to the base infirmary. As you were unconscious, Gustave and several nurses sterilized your wounds and casted your ankle. Your uniform was taken away to get cleaned and patched back to its former glory, and you were then left asleep in the bed.

The morning would come to roll around, and to be honest, you felt like absolute shit.

Your body was sore and in pain all over, so much so that it even hurt to open your eyes. Groaning softly, you attempt to regulate your ragged and sharp breathing, alerting whoever was in the infirmary. “Y/N, you’re awake. Do you need pain medication?” Gustave asked. You just give him another groan, signaling it was a yes, and Gustave went to get you some medication and some water for you. “Fucking…he’s going to lecture me again, I just know it…” you whisper hoarsely to yourself. And you would prove yourself right, because once Gustave came back to help you take your medication and drink your water, he was scowling at you. “Here we go…” you mutter under your breath.

“Why do you always do this to yourself, hm? You never pace yourself, always charge in like you’re completely bulletproof, and get yourself hurt. You’ll be killed one day if you keep it up.” he said a bit harshly. Gustave’s words cut deep, making you suck your teeth and turn away. “I’m serious, mon ami. You’re just as, if not worse, complacent as Julien is. For fuck’s sake, if he wasn’t wearing his helmet all those years ago, he would have been dead before his life ever jump started.” Gustave continued. “I know you are. But I’m telling you, I’m fine.” you say, still trying to rebel against Gustave’s words. “And how long will you be fine for, hm? Until your limbs are just barely hanging on? Until you’re fucking dead?” he whispered.

The atmosphere between the two of you shifted immediately, and you looked back at him. Gustave’s usual warm and soft expression was replaced by a cold and grim one, eyes dark as he spoke to you how it felt for him to constantly worry about someone who isn’t going to change his ways. “Gustave…I’m sorry I always give you a hard time the way I did before I passed out. It’s just- I grew up like that. I can’t change it so easily, though I wish I could.” you say, carefully straining yourself as you extend an arm towards him. Gustave just looks down at your hand and examines the bruises, cuts, and scrapes all over it. He then grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, holding onto it tightly. “Just try more, please. I don’t think I know what I’d do if I lost you. You aren’t allowed to die, not on my watch.” he said.

You give him a nod, looking away from him. “You’ll do as you’re told. Swear to me right now, Y/N.” Gustave said. Turning back to him, your expression becomes soft and somber, “I swear I will. Just for you, Gustave.” you say. “Good…I’m going to give you another dose of painkillers later so I could re-examine your leg. Go back to sleep for now.” he orders. “But I just-” you begin to protest, only to be shot a look from Gustave. “Do as you’re told.” he reminded, letting go of your hand and walking away. You sigh and do as you were told and shut your eyes, forcing yourself back to sleep. Doctor’s orders, eh? Where’s that stupid apple when you need it…

#r6s #rainbow six siege #r6s x reader #rainbow six siege x reader #r6s doc #gustave kateb #doc x reader #fluff #angst with a happy ending #fluff and angst #comfort fluff #comfort/hurt #x reader #r6s GIGN

69 notes · View notes

ererokii · 4 years ago

Text

Line without a Hook || E. Jaeger & J. Kirstein

➳ Jean Kirsten x Fem Reader x Eren Jaeger

Word count: 4,517 Warnings: angst, fluff, unrequited love, cursing ➳ note: this is based off the song Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery! I’ve been thinking this for a long time and I’m super excited by how it came out! Also big thanks to @reddriot for betaing!

➳ Synopsis: is love really worth it? Let me say, it’s not always worth it.

You can hold my hand if no one’s home.

Do you like it when I’m away?

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

It starts out simple really. A boy and a girl. Childhood friends, to be precise. Those two are inseparable. Nothing can tear the friends apart, besides their parents, of course. Like two peas in a pod.

Jean says he knows you like the back of his hand. He truly means that. He knows your favorite boy bands from when you were younger, how many terrible phases you’ve gone through, favorite foods, and places. If he wrote a novel about the things you told him, he would be a renowned author.

Since kindergarten to now, in the middle of your junior year, you and Jean have been side by side. You told him everything. From random vents and gossiping about the rude girls in your class to how horrible your period cramps were— even though Jean hated hearing about the last, he stuck through it for you.

Only you.

The pavement that followed the street your house was on is memorable. Jean can recall the amount of times you’ve had races, chalk scribbles covering the grey that would be washed away by the angry neighbors.

He listens to you as you talk about a kid getting in trouble in your Calculus class, watches how lively your motions are as you speak. Jean can’t help but smile when a laugh slips past your lips and you glance at him. There’s an unknown sparkle in his eyes, one filled with love.

You haven’t changed one bit, he thinks as he faces back forward, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. His mind begins to wander as you both continue down the pavement, part of your routine when school ends.

Your houses are right next to each other. You’ve been with him since you were in diapers. He was there when your first tooth came out, congratulating you, and you were there for him when he finally learned to ride his bike with two wheels instead of three.

The bubbly lovable five-year-old back then is the same as you are now.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Oh all my emotions

Feel like explosions when you are around

A sigh of disappointment leaves Jean’s lips when he listens to Connie talk about something he has learned over the weekend (something completely stupid— he just doesn’t care). Currently, the students are at lunch, the cafeteria full with loud shouts and random noises.

“Connie, shut up,” Sasha groans, placing her water bottle on the table, wiping her crumbs off. “No one cares that you finally figured out how to stick a spoon to your nose.”

“What do you mean?! You were the one who showed me!”

The brunette gasps and looks over his way, cream cheeks tinted with an adorable shade of pink, pointing a finger at him. The bickering between the two commence as Jean listens, slightly amused.

As much as he indulges in their argument, he can't help but wonder where you are.

It’s not like you to skip lunch, especially without at least letting him know. Did you stay behind to talk to a friend? A teacher? Maybe you went to the bathroom.

But it’s at least 15 minutes in.

“Sasha,” he speaks up, slicking back his hair. The sound of her name catches her attention, making her look at him. “Have you seen Y/N?”

“Y/N?” she asks in a whisper before her lips curl in a grin, already knowing why he asked. “Do you miss her?”

“Just answer my goddamn question!”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Connie asks, looking between his friends before stopping his gaze on Jean. “Why do you need Y/N?”

“Oh, you know! He lik-”

“Shut up!” Jean shouts, catching the attention of nearby students, his face heating up as his cheeks turn a darker pigment. “Just answer me!”

“If you must know,” she taunts him, twirling a strand of hair from her loose ponytail. “I saw her talking to someone in the hallway. Must be important, she’s been there for quite some time. Might want to be her knight in shining armor and saving her, huh?” she cocks her head to the side, staring at one of the windows in the room, watching as the branches of trees sway from the harsh winds.

The atmosphere outside was cold, breezes rushing down on anyone who was not inside. The sun was hidden by the thick grey blankets filled with rainwater, waiting to shower the world. The temperature recently has been dropping, mid 50’s at least. The weather was a shock, to say the least.

“I didn’t know Jean likes her!”

“What do you mean?!” Sasha gasps, turning her body to face her small-minded friend. “It’s only obvious! You must be really stupid then!”

“Well, how could you tell?!”

Before Jean has a chance to interrupt Sasha, she begins to rant. He prefers to stay silent, clasping his hands together in his lap as he lowers his head, finding interest in the marbled tiles of the floor his feet rest on.

The words that slip past Sasha’s lips reach his ear and out the other.

It’s easy to tell, Connie. Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything? Here you guys are, two close friends, I thought you would have known about his crush. I’m surprised you didn’t catch on every time he ditched plans with us to go hang out with her. He’s whipped, and you’re too stupid to know it.

His cheeks turn a shade of pink as his eyes squeeze shut, her words replaying in his head like a broken record player. Each sentence is like a knife stabbing away at his brain, causing the slightest ache to form in his frontal region.

She’s right. Anything she just said five minutes ago, is completely and utterly correct.

He can still hear her talking about it to Connie, but he can only focus on three sentences that stick to him like glue.

Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything?

Memories of him helping you in any possible way come to mind. He can’t recall how many times he has entered class two minutes late because you had so much to carry.

He stares at you like you’re the only thing worth looking at. It reminds him of those cliche animated movies with hearts in the character's eyes. He’s blinded by his love for you, that he never noticed any signs that you don’t feel the same way about him. His heart races miles per hour when you’re around. Sometimes he worries for himself that maybe, his heart might explode within him.

“Anyway, lunch has about 20 minutes left...where is she?” Connie mutters, scratching the top of his head.

“I don’t know, but,” Sasha grows quiet, listening to the ongoing thunder from the outside. The lights flicker for a second, a couple of yelps emitting from other students, slightly afraid that the power might go off while school is in session. “The storm is almost here.”

“Y/N!” Connie suddenly yells, pointing in the direction of the door, your body jogging closer to the table. “Where have you been?!”

“Sorry!” you laugh, out of breath as you drop your things on the bench, taking a seat beside Jean. “I got caught up in a conversation with someone! I guess I lost track of time for a bit.”

“I messaged you like four times,” Jean mutters, glancing over at you before looking at the table, playing with the plastic straw that he used to drink out of.

“You did?” you ask, pulling your phone out from your pocket, lips puckering when indeed he did so. “I’m sorry, Jean. I didn’t even feel my phone vibrate.”

“Oh, whatever, who cares! Eat! Or I’ll eat your food!” Sasha yells, pointing a finger at you, a smile gracing her features.

You laugh along with her as you converse with your peers, the conversation you had replaying in the back of your mind. Jean chooses not to intervene, instead would rather listen.

The roaring thunder plays in the background, everyone paying no mind to it. What he doesn’t know is that the storm is much closer than Jean could have thought.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Listen close, it’s a no

The wind is a pounding on my back

And I found hope in a heart attack

Oh at last, it is past

Now I’ve got it, and you can’t have it

Another evening, another study session, another day of bottling up his feelings until he can no longer hold them inside.

The storm made its way to shore, raining pouring down and even some hail; not what anyone was expecting.

Jean mindlessly flips through the pages of his English book, not even paying attention to the words as he checks how many pages are in chapter five.

“This seems pointless,” he adds with a sigh, tossing the book on your bed along with his highlighter he uses to annotate with. “I should just find a summary online or something, I don’t want to read this.”

“And why is that?” you ask, looking up from your book, placing the hardcover against your thighs. “Is it boring to you?”

“No,” he mutters, rolling onto his back. “It’s stupid. This love crap.”

“Well...it is a romance story, the teacher told us when we got the book. But why do you think it’s dumb?”

“He writes letters for her, and in the end, she ends up rejecting him. I don’t think that’s romantic.”

“And? It’s beautiful on his part,” you close your eyes as you stretch your arms over your head, letting out a grunt. “It’s the fact that he wrote to her every day. It’s like he poured his soul into every word. The words he uses are..literally everything. It makes me swoon over him, and he’s not real. Makes me wonder if someone would do that for me.”

Jean’s head perks up at your words, one of his eyebrows raised in curiosity when he notices the bashful look on your face, eyes averted to the comforter on your bed. “Why do you have that dopey look on your face?”

“Huh?!” your eyes are blown open as you look over at him. “What are you talking about?!”

“I’m talking about that, idiot,” he points at your face, watching your eyes cross faintly to stare at his finger. “You’re acting about that guy in the book.”

The patter of the rain is the only noise that fills the void called silence in your room. His warm eyes don’t leave your face at all, waiting for your answer. You’ve been acting weird ever since you were late to lunch this past week.

He watches your mouth open as if you’ll say something but close it right away, like you were concealing anything you had to hide.

“...well? Y/N? Are you there?”

“Yeah!” you cough into your elbow, running a hand down your face. “I-- you can’t tell anyone.”

“You know I never tell anyone what we talk about.”

You’re silent, a bit too quiet than usual. You fiddle with your fingers before blurting the words that have been eating away at you.

Jean’s heart stops for a moment, eyes wide in shock when he processes it. His blood runs cold as he’s unable to move, frozen like a statue. The signals in his brain begged him to respond, but he couldn’t. He could hear the faintest sound of bells ringing in his ears; all noise surrounding him was now drowned out by his thoughts.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

“You like someone?” he asks in a whisper, barely audible to your ears, but you heard as you nod shyly, biting down on your lip. “Well... who is it?”

“That’s...I can’t say it.”

“Why can’t you?”

“I’m afraid to say it out loud because I don’t want to ruin my friendship with him.”

Friendship? That could be anyone at this point.

I have to figure out who, he thinks as he draws random patterns into the sheets. “Well, tell me about him then. Is he in our grade?” he asks.

“Yeah, he is. He’s in four of my classes.”

Jean was in four of your classes. Math, English, Foreign Language, and Science.

“That’s it?”

You huff, rolling your eyes. “Can I finish before you interrupt? Thank you.”

You pause momentarily before speaking again.

“He’s stubborn. I’ve noticed that his demeanor changes when it depends on who he is with. He seems like a hardass and looks like he doesn’t want to be bothered, but he seems like a total softie when he’s with people he loves. Not to mention he’s hot...and tall. He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.”

Jean takes every word you say into consideration. He’s stubborn, it seems that he doesn’t like to be around people he doesn’t know but loves those he does know. He knows he’s hot. Practically every day he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks about how good he looks.

He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he really seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.

Jean can feel his doubt and worry turn into happiness and confidence as you keep on ranting, to which he’s not fully paying attention anymore. He knows it's him. It has always been him.

No one else.

Jean likes you.

And you like Jean, that’s all there is to it.

“Do you want to tell him?”

“Yeah...” you trail off, scratching the nape of your neck. “I want to tell him on Friday after school. Do you think he’ll like me back?”

“I think he would. How could he not? He would be a total idiot to reject you.”

You hum at his reassurance, placing your hand on his, squeezing gently.

“Thanks, Jean.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Darling when I’m fast asleep

I've seen this person watching me

Saying, “Is it worth it? Is it worth it?”

Tell me, is it worth it?

Friday comes, and Jean can hardly wait for school to end. He’s not paying attention, his eyes constantly staring from the whiteboard in the front to the clock that tauntingly ticks slower than usual.

He bites down on the pink end of his pencil in anticipation, tapping his foot repeatedly on the floor, the noise resonating through the classroom.

Maybe I should just keep my eyes off the clock, he thinks, lowering his head back to the worksheet their teacher gave the class.

Econ class was a drag. He could care less about the differences in macro and microeconomics, the same with Communism and Capitalism. It’s just a bunch of words that don’t make sense to his brain.

This was one of the classes he didn’t have with you, the last class.

Instead of doing his worksheet (luckily, the teacher said it would be for homework if it wasn’t finished), Jean proceeded to think about ways he could tell you his feelings.

He could be old fashioned, tell you how much he adores you and how happy you make him feel when you’re around. How his heart can be heard from the outside of his body, how his hands got warm and clammy, maybe sweaty when he became too nervous.

He could ask you out on a date. Take you somewhere, one of the places you’ve told him in the past that would make a great date for you. He smiles when he thinks about taking you downtown at night, looking at the soft lights that would brighten the streets; loving the sparkle in your orbs as you look around in awe.

He hums, pleased with himself when he figures out what he’ll do, scratching the back of his ear.

He wonders if you’re thinking the same thing.

You glance at your table partner, looking at his piece of paper before looking down at yours, displeased how his is able to look better than yours. You pick up your eraser, gently wiping the shadings away from your drawing, careful not to crease your paper.

“It’s not that hard you know, you just don’t know how to shade.”

“I know how to shade, Eren,” you reply with a huff, placing your eraser back down. “It’s just...this is a bit harder than usual.”

“All you have to do is follow the markings,” he presses the edge of his drawing pencil against the reference photo both of you are using, tracing the shape of it. “You could honestly just copy the photo, I doubt this woman would even notice.”

You chuckle at his choice of words, shifting in your seat to get comfortable. “I don’t think she would anyway. She just stares at it and calls it an A. I bet for our expressive project, she wouldn’t notice if we copied each other.”

He shakes his head with a smile, the loose strands of his hair swaying with his head movement. “No, she wouldn’t,” he rolls the sleeves of his hoodie to his elbows, grabbing his pencil again. “Then again, we are working on it with each other.”

“Speaking of that, what should we do?”

“Up to you, Y/N. I don’t mind. I’m just trying to pass this stupid class anyway.”

You relish in the silence between you as you gaze at him from your peripheral. You take notice how his hair frames his face effortlessly to the dip in his nose. It’s perfect how it forms to his cupid’s bow to his lips; not too big nor too small either. Just right.

You clear your throat, scratching at the nape of your neck. “Why not do...stages of love?”

That catches his interest.

“Stages of love?” he asks, moving in his chair to face you, a hand propping his head up. “Elaborate?”

“Like you know...how we gain a crush on someone. We like how they make us feel, and soon we think about them some more. Maybe make little scenarios in our head. Then we gain the crush and want to be around them. You know what I mean, right?”

He’s silent, hues that represent the blue of rivers, boring into your own. At first, you think he hates your idea, but then the corner of his lips curls into his infamous grin. “Yeah, I like that. Did you have anything else in mind?”

“Maybe...rejection?”

“Rejection?” he repeats, a bit shocked at how romantic your words were, to something filled with sadness. “And why would you want to do rejection?”

“W-Well,” you stutter, unsure how you should put it. “Everyone always talks about the good in love but never the bad. And I think it could be done good, you know?”

He hums, scratching away at his chin before nodding. “Yeah, alright. That sounds oddly specific, but I like it. We can honestly get started soon, that way, we can finish faster and not worry about it.”

His smile throws you for a loop, your face heating up as you pick up your pencil, trying to distract yourself.

“Say, Y/N?”

“Yes, Eren?” you reply a bit too quickly, cursing yourself out internally for sounding too desperate.

“Can we talk?” his cheeks are a shade of pink, his eyes averted as he plays with one of the strings of his hood, reminding you how a child would distract themselves. The tips of his shoe nudge against yours, barely kicking gently.

“Aren’t we talking right now?”

“No, I mean after school.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer

Watching over me, he’s singing,

Jean storms out of his Econ class with a grin, hands gripping onto the straps of his backpack as he looks down one end of the hallway before going down the other direction. The art room was three classes down his. Usually, Jean will wait right there by the door for you since you take ages to finally leave the classroom.

When Jean finally reaches the room, he sees that the doors are locked, and the lights inside are off.

Huh, that’s weird, you’re always one of the last to leave, nor are you ever this early.

He stands there for a few more seconds, peering in through the small glass, and sees nothing before taking a step back and quickly continues to walk down the hall. His legs are quicker, going down the two flights of stairs.

His eyes frantically search for the yellow shirt you wore, unable to find you anywhere.

“Sasha!” he calls out once he reaches the end of the stairs, running towards the girl and their friend, who was at the lockers, pulling things she needed to take home for the weekend.

The brunette looks over her shoulder, stopping her conversation with Connie as she shuts her locker. “Yeah, Jean?”

He pants, leaning on his knees before letting out a deep breath and standing straight up. “Have you seen Y/N?”

She ponders for a while before shaking her head, looking over at Connie, who shakes his head, shrugging. “We haven’t seen her since Art class.”

“You didn’t see where she went at all?”

The events before class ending play in her mind before she gasps, snapping her fingers, pointing up at Jean. “Yeah, I know where she went!”

“...are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to guess?!”

She mocks him for a second before pulling her phone out. “I could have seen her leave with Eren. I think they went to the bench in the back. You know the one I’m talking about?”

He’s taken aback for a moment before shaking his head, retaining the information. “Alright, thanks.”

Why would you even be with Eren right now? You never meet with him after-

“Are we still on for this weekend?!” Connie yells when Jean is making his way down the corridor.

“Yeah, we are!” Jean's voice travels through the air, reaching both of his friends, hands clammy as they’re shoved in the front pocket of his pants.

The walk to the back courtyard was tiresome. His feet seemed to drag behind him, an aching feeling forming in his gut. Thoughts pounded against his skull repeatedly, trying to force him to stop. He wants to stop, but he has to go.

He has to tell you he loves you.

He can’t help but smile when you describe the boy you like this week. In his mind and most certainly his heart, he was the king of the world sitting on his high horse as he screamed in victory, letting the whole world know that the person he likes, feels the same way about him.

The fresh air from the outside meets his nostrils as he deeply inhales, allowing it to enter his body before exiting. The sun is the first thing he meets with as he exits the building, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes away from the harsh light. He mutters something under his breath as he looks around for a second.

“She’s a,

She’s a lady and I’m just a boy”

His honey orbs finally stop on a bench where you and Eren are seated, that’s not too far away, but his body is hidden from your view. He lets out a sigh of relief, leaves crunching underneath his feet as he walks, not taking long strides, rather walking slow to rethink what he’ll say.

“Y/N, I’ve liked you for a long...no,” he mutters, stopping in his tracks as he looks down at the green grass and leaves, kicking away at them. “I’ve loved- no, that sounds a bit aggressive, goddammit,” he groans, tugging at the roots of his hairs. “Why is this so fucking hard?!” he growls underneath his breath, leaning against the brick wall.

He never was anything else but honest with you. How could he say it?

What if this ruins your relationship?

...what if you liked Eren?

His breath hitches in his throat when realization dawns on him. His lips part, a soft exhale releasing from within him. His fingers curl around nothing, as if he was holding the air’s hand. The tips of his fingers shake, his whole body stiffening as he stares hard at nothing.

How could he be so stupid?

It all made sense now. How you stayed behind during lunch that one time without saying anything; in the back of his mind that day, he knew that someone had to be a boy, maybe a girl. Even then, you would always let him know.

Jean should have known from the beginning that you only saw him as a brother.

His chest aches as his vision goes blurry, biting down on the inside of his lip to the point where he can taste the bitter metallic on his tongue. He squeezes his eyes shut before opening, wishing he hadn’t at that moment.

He’s singing

“She’s a, she’s a lady and I am just a line without a hook.”

His heart breaks, stomach-dropping when he sees Eren’s hand brings you closer to his body, lips pressed up against yours; your hand placed on his cheek, cradling his face. Even from where he stands, he can sense the urgency in the kiss, how your bodies move together as one, how your fingers grip onto him like he’ll leave any moment.

His lower lip quivers for a second, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, clearing his throat. Jean cranes his neck upward, looking at the sky, muttering the words, “Why him?” over and over like a mantra, no other words coming to mind.

When he closes his eyes, all he can see is you. Not Eren, just you. Those moments where you laugh, cry, or stay silent, those are the moments that flash in his head.

Did he do something to you? Was it something he said?

Did you ever like him at all?

“It’s pointless,” he whispers, pushing himself off the brick wall, immediately making a beeline for the doors. He swallows harshly, legs moving faster than ever, wanting to get out of this hell hole called reality.

Like every day, you’ll walk down the same pavement you’ve been walking on for years.

Only this time, he’s walking alone.

Oh, and if I could take it all back

I swear that I would pull you from the tide.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

taglist: @sleepysnk @jaegerbomb20 @reddriot @kkiimmberly @kingtamakimurder @tamasoft @byougen @spike-this-ass @crimsonbows-and-arrows @squidonmywall @thicmitten (message me to be apart of it!)

#eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot #snk #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #attack on titan imagines #shingeki no kyojin imagines #eren imagines #eren jaeger imagines #jean imagines #jean kirstein imagines

570 notes · View notes

darthkruge · 4 years ago

Note

Could you do an imagine where Anakin comforts an insecure reader

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Insecurities

Summary: Anakin comes home to find the reader drowning in their own insecurities and does everything he can to make it better.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Heavy talk of insecurities, including the reader feeling insecure about their body, personality, relationship, basically themself in general. A little bit of blood and some injuries but nothing major. Angst to fluff, I’d say?

A/N: Hi anon! First off, I hope you’re okay. Secondly, thank you for requesting! And ofc I’ll write this, comfort fics are my shit! I tried to get this request out as quick as I could and it did take a tiny bit longer than I wanted, but I wanted to do it justice. Also, y’all are beautiful and perfect and I love each and every single person reading this. If anyone ever needs anything, I’m here always. If you wanna talk or vent or just share some of your thoughts, I got you.

(not my gif)

It was just one of those days. You weren’t a stranger to them but, nonetheless, you always felt unprepared when they hit. The feeling where you wanted to crawl out of your own skin, your own mind. Where regardless of what clothes you wore, you hated how you looked. The thoughts were the worst part, telling you lies that felt terrifyingly like truths.

You’re worthless. You’re unlovable. You’re ugly. Everyone else can see it. They all know. No one really wants to spend time with you. You’re annoying. You’re stupid. You’re a bad person.

The thoughts spiraled and spiraled and spiraled until you were lost in your own head. When it came to this, you frequently fell. It was too painful to hold onto your consciousness and fight it, so you let go. The thoughts continued as you curled back up in your bed, in the apartment in Coruscant that you shared with him, the one that normally brought you such comfort, and stared blankly at the wall. Tears streamed down your face and you didn’t even have the energy to wipe them away.

Truly, the worst part was feeling so defeated. You were a strong Jedi and you took your training seriously. You’d fought in countless battles, you should be able to handle one in your mind. You wished you were strong enough to fight against these thoughts. The shame you felt around your insecurities only made you feel more alone. Instead of reaching out on days like this, you just forced yourself into silence.

You were especially afraid to tell Anakin. Your beautiful, perfect, kind, loving boyfriend. He didn’t deserve to deal with you. He had enough on his plate, it wasn’t his job to comfort you because you weren’t strong enough to deal with your own shit. You were scared that once he saw how you viewed yourself, he would come clean and admit to seeing you the same way. I mean, you were so obviously hideous, how could he not see it, too?

Meanwhile, Anakin was finishing up a training session in the Jedi Temple. Normally he’d train with Obi-Wan, but today he wanted to focus on himself. Honestly, he was a bit distracted. Since he had a busy day today and you had the day off, he had to leave before you woke up, which he absolutely hated. He loved being there when you woke up and cooking breakfast for the two of you. You’d been dating for a few months and he was truly shocked that you’d kept him around for this long. You were everything he’d ever wanted.

He realized he was smiling as he thought of you and decided to reach out with the Force to be reminded of your presence. He knew it wasn’t what the Force was supposed to be used for but he honestly couldn’t help it, he missed you. You were a comfort to him and he liked to check and make sure you were alright.

Anakin’s brow furrowed as he searched for you. Normally, you were meditating at this time and he could feel a sense of serenity and contentment around you. Today, however, he was met with pain. Pain, and fear, and hatred, and sadness, and anguish, and loneliness. Anakin braced himself against the wall, stumbling back at the severity of your emotions. Right after, he composed himself and took off in a run, trying to get to you as quickly as possible.

“Y/N? Y/N?!” Anakin yelled, bursting through the door. He was immediately taken aback when he noticed that all the lights were off. Walking quietly, he heard your sobs coming from the bedroom. He went in and felt his heart shatter. There you were, his angel, curled under the blankets, sobbing. He looked around and noticed the mirror in your room smashed. He walked over and gently placed a hand on your back, trying not to startle or upset you more.

You looked up at him and started crying even harder. He pulled you into his arms and noticed how you fell limply into his chest. The fight seemed to have extinguished from your eyes, causing him to hold you even closer. Your arms weakly surrounded his middle as his hands stroked your back and gently combed through your hair.

You felt lost and trapped, the world around you fuzzy and distorted from the tears. Even so, you felt him. You breathed him in, inhaling his comforting scent and feeling his warmth. He helped you ground yourself, the broken wails eventually quieting into soft cries. Anakin didn’t try to shush you, he just whispered reassurances into your hair, let you get it out, and held you. “I’ve got you, love. It’s alright, get it out. I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

You listened to those affirmations as you sagged into him, taking a few more minutes to just lay there. Softly, Anakin pulled you away from him so he could study you. You saw his face contorted with worry and immediately felt guilty. Great, Y/N, now you’ve made him upset. Fuck, he doesn’t deserve this. Why did I have to be so fucking needy?!

Your thoughts were interrupted by him. “What happened, angel?”

“I-” You trailed off, not sure what to say. “I just had a shit day”

You could tell he knew it was more and, feeling vulnerable under his intensely caring gaze, brought your hand to move the hair out of your face.

Quickly, you heard Anakin take a sharp inhale of breath before grabbing your hand. Ouch. You looked down and noticed the cut on the back of your hand. It had mostly dried by now, thankfully, but the pain from punching that mirror earlier was definitely still registering.

He wordlessly went to the bathroom and brought out some gauze and anti-bacterial medicine. When he returned, his eyes drifted to the mirror and you saw him putting the pieces together. He spent a few moments in silence, his expression downcast. He worked quickly, bandaging you up and collecting his thoughts. “Why?” He asked, softly.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t stand to look at myself anymore” You whispered, wiping away some residual tears from your eyes.

“Y/N, you’re gorgeous, love. Please, angel, please look at me.” He cupped your face and moved you so you were in his lap, making sure you heard every word. “You are truly the most breathtaking person I’ve ever met. You’re ethereal.”

Anakin’s voice was quiet as he told you these things. Quiet, yet powerful. Almost as if it was the gentle caress of his innermost thoughts. Completely honest and raw, yet too intimate for anyone to hear except you.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry your brain is lying to you. That must be so hard, fighting against your own mind. Baby, you’re brave. You’re so, so brave.”

You were shaking your head, “Ani, no, no I’m not. I’m not brave, I didn’t fight. I let them consume me. I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe until you came in. I couldn’t anchor myself at all, I was so weak” You said, disgusted with yourself.

“Shh, shh, Y/N, listen. You are strong because even though you felt the weight of everything on your shoulders, you didn’t drown. I know you felt like you would, but look! You’re here. You didn’t drown.” He took a second to pause, kissing your forehead lovingly. “Do you want to talk about what brought this on?”

“If I tell you, promise you won’t think differently of me?”

“I promise. Nothing could change how I feel about you.”

You inhaled deeply, hands shaking slightly. Ani took them in his own, steadying them while looking at you deeply. “I’ve been dealing with some shit for a while and I think it all kind of caught up to me today? I hate how I look, Ani. I look in the mirror and I can’t handle it. That’s why I broke it, I just, I couldn’t. And then I was just thinking of how you don’t deserve to deal with someone like me. You shouldn’t have to come home after a day of training and deal with my breakdowns. I know I should have told you I’ve been feeling like this. I just was terrified. I was terrified you’d agree with me. I’m terrified you’ll leave me. I’m terrified you’ll wake up and see how you deserve so much more than the shitty fucking messed up person I am.” You trail off and meet his eyes, tears glistening in both of yours, “Ani, I’m so terrified” You finish, voice wavering.

Anakin rests his forehead against yours, pressing kisses to your hands. He lets his eyes close and tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe you were in this much pain and he never noticed. You were the love of his life and he felt like he’d failed you if you feel like this.

“Y/N, I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not going anywhere. You are the best person for me, hell, you’re the best person in the entire fucking galaxy. Everyday I wake up and think about how lucky I am to call you mine. You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re compassionate. You’re stubborn as hell and I love that about you. You challenge me and you’re a damn good Jedi. You’re strong, stronger than anyone should ever have to be. Your heart inspires me everyday. Simply, you’re good. And I know I said it a bit earlier, but I’m gonna say it again. You are stunning, love. Truly.” Anakin said, pulling away so he could really see you.

“Look at your legs! They’re so pretty, baby. Especially when you jump up and wrap them around me after I get home from a mission? That’s the best feeling in the freaking world! And your stomach! You always let me rest my head on it when I’m tired and I know you think it’s weird but it’s such a good angle because I can lay there and play with your hands. And, baby, your arms!! You give such good hugs and you when wrap them around me?? It makes me feel safe in a world full of chaos. And at night when you use them to curl into me, or when we’re dancing together? Fuck, I just love them.”

Anakin trailed off for a second. He held your face in his palms and you leaned into their warmth. “And you’re face, Y/N. It’s just so perfectly you. When I look into your eyes, I know I’m home. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t understand how you can hate your body when it's the body that makes me feel like I’m going to be okay. You make me feel like I’m going to be okay. I’ve always felt so out of control, so lost. But you ground me. Please, come to me if you ever feel like this again? You are not a burden or a messed up person. You’re everything. I’m here for you. I know my words won’t fix anything overnight. Even so, I promise you, I will repeat them everyday until you believe them and, after that, I will continue to remind you until my last breath.”

You hugged him and nuzzled into his chest, overcome with emotion. “I’m trying Ani, I’m really trying. It’s not easy for me to come to people when I feel like that but I promise I’ll try.”

His arms tightened around you and he placed a kiss on the top of your head. “That’s all I could ever ask of you, love. Thank you for being willing to try”

“Thank you, too, for talking me down today. It doesn’t normally get that bad. Some days are worse than others, you know? But you really helped me. I love you more than anything. I love you for loving me when I feel unlovable”

“I will always be here to remind you how deserving you are of love, happiness, and every other positive thing in the universe. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for years, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever”

Anakin hadn’t really let you go since he returned to the apartment. He was naturally a protective person and hated to see you hurting. He was so soft, so comforting. Although vulnerability is always hard, he made it so much easier. You knew he would always validate you, comfort you, and be there without judgement. He was everything you could possibly need and more.

Eventually, your breathing evened out as he rocked you in his arms. Anakin layed you back under the covers and went to pull away to sweep up the broken mirror’s glass. As he attempted to release himself from your arms, you whined and only tightened your grip on him. Anakin smiled and chuckled quietly, laying down and pulling you on top of his chest. You hummed contently and he placed a few more soft kisses onto your hair, your forehead, your shoulders, everywhere. You were his top priority always and he wanted to keep you safe physically, mentally, and emotionally. He could never deny you comfort, especially not in this state. After waiting a few more moments to ensure you were truly at rest, Ani closed his eyes. The glass could always wait until tomorrow...

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #anakin skywalker imagines #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker x insecure reader #anakin skywalker x gender neutral reader #anakin skywalker x gn!reader #anakin skywalker #anon #requests

390 notes · View notes

compassionatereminders · 3 years ago

Note

hi hi !! is it alright if i vent ? TT i’m quite exhausted keeping this to myself,, and i don’t want to tell my friends because i don’t want to be a burden to them,, thank you !!

last week, i went to a psychiatrist because i haven’t been feeling well. i have trouble focusing, i’m more forgetful than usual, and my sleep schedule is a mess. i wanted to get help because it’s affecting my studies and daily life. i suspected i had adhd bc i identified with the symptoms,, so i talked to the psychiatrist about that,, but while i was answering her questions i realized the problem was with my mother,, that i’ve been scared and anxious about her. i didn’t answer questions about her truthfully and only said half-truths because i was in denial about my mother,, and i felt like i was betraying her by labeling her as the cause of my problems.

after the session i wasn’t diagnosed with anything but they gave me a prescription for melatonin to help me sleep. after the session my mom called to ask about what happened in the session. she was very furious and mad. she said that i was just making all this in my head, and i was just doing it for attention. she didn’t buy me the melatonin but instead bought food for me “to stop being overdramatic”. after that day i began feeling very very scared and anxious. everytime she talks to me or when i hear her voice my heart starts palpitating, everytime i see her my chest tightens, everytime i’m in her presence i have trouble breathing and i feel like i’m choking. at first i tried to fight it,, tried my best to be affectionate and be back to normal,, but i couldn’t do it. whenever i tried to i felt like something bad was gonna happen and i felt like i was going to have a panic attack. so i locked myself in my room and spoke less. i didn’t want to cause more trouble by spontaneously having a panic attack. i feel guilty. i feel guilty and ashamed for feeling this way about my mother. she’s a single mom who’s working hard to take care of me and my brother, and she’s trying to be strong despite her toxic and unsupportive family. but at the same time i knew it was bound to happen. whenever i cry and tell her what’s bothering me she always says that i’m being overdramatic and that everyone has problems. she never was there to comfort me, instead she was the one to made me feel worse about myself. that whatever i’m feeling is not real. yesterday morning she finally got fed up with me locking myself up in my room and being quiet and she yelled and screamed at me, again saying that i’m being overdramatic. that i’m making things harder for her. after she went to work i had wave after wave of anxiety attacks. she came home crying, because she was upset over the whole situation. and now we aren’t talking.

i don’t know what’s going on anymore. i can’t tell if i’m right or wrong in the situation. or am i fabricating what i feel for attention. it’s so blurry that i can’t tell the lines anymore and it’s giving me a headache. but i’m not faking it, right? i wouldn’t give her more problems, i don’t want her to feel more burdened. i love her so so much. maybe i was wrong. maybe it was selfish of me to ask for help from a psychiatrist because it would make her feel like she wasn’t enough as a mother.

i want to go to her and apologize, but i’m scared that i might have another panic attack. i don’t know what to do,, what do you think i should do ?

i’m sorry for this being so long T^T and for trauma-dumping. but i saw how comforting and understanding u were to peoples’ concerns and i wanted that too,,, thank you so much for reading this until the end TT you are an angel,, truly. i hope you have a nice day and all your meals are delicious !! <33

- 🐧

If you were faking your problems you'd know. Faking requires active intent and effort, so if you were actually faking all of this you'd be fully aware of it. Instead, it sounds like your mom is attacking and invalidating you to the point of emotional abuse - and I'm so very sorry that you have to deal with that on top of everything else. It is very likely that your mom's behavior towards you has triggered or worsened your mental health issues - and I encourage you to keep seeking out treatment even though she disapproves and to be honest with your psych about what's going on at home. Not being able to deal with emotional abuse doesn't make you a bad child - and no matter what your mom has been through in the past, it doesn't justify hurting you.

#chat with kat #child abuse tw #abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #internalized ableism tw

28 notes · View notes

orangesturnmeon · 3 years ago

Text

I want to thank that people that raised me(tw anger and mormons)

FUCK YALL Thank you so much for fucking me up so badly. Thank you for gaslighting me into believing that everything I am doing for MYSELF is wrong because I left the mormon church. THANKS FOR RAISING ME WITH NO IDENTITY, thank you for teaching me that my body is wrong and that I am responsible for the actions OF STUPID FUCKING MEN! THANK YOU FOR HARRASSING MY FUCKING BOSS AND BEING THE REASON I HAD TO FUCKING QUIT AND FUCKING THANK YOU FOR BEING THE REASON THAT I AS AN ADULT AM HAVING TO TEACH MYSELF BASIC SHIT BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T DO YOUR JOB AS FUCKING PARENTS! YOU BEAT AND ABUSED ME, YOU PUT ME DOWN AND I DONT EVEN TAKE PICTURES OF MYSELF BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS TOLD THAT I LOOK WRONG AND I AM UGLY. I find it so funny that my parents prioritized there status in the fucking mormon church instead of the SAFETY AND COMFORT OF THEIR FUCKING KIDS! And lets not ignore the obvious sexism. Oh my brother wants to LEAVE THE COUNTRY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY SURE BUT YOUR FRIEND IS HOSTING A SLEEPOVER FOR YOU TURNING 18 HELL NO BECAUSE “YOU KNOW WE DONT DO SLEEPOVER” WHAT FUCKING WE BECAUSE MY BROTHER DID ALL THE SLEEPOVERS HE FUCKING WANTED. idk if anyone is reading this or will read it, I am just so filled with anger and I needed to vent. It is crazy the religious trauma I am trying to overcome, on top of the physical, mental, and emotional abuse they inflicted and comtinue to inflict on me. My perception of myself is so fucked. I am in a relationship that is not healthy but lets be honest, compared to all the shit I have been through maybe this relationship is the best I am going to get. God even typing that is showing me how fucked my brain is, I know that i deserve more but I haven’t been shown that. ever. I hate myself. ALSO MOM THANKS FOR ATTACKING MY THERAPSIT, THANKS FOR EMAILING HER DEMANDING TO KNOW WHAT I TALKED ABOUT IN MY SESSIONS. And i think BIGGEST BIGGEST THANK YOU for continuing to weaponize my siblings against me, you are the fucking reason I left. You fucking apologize.

anyways if there is anyone out there interested in my rants i have more, i feel like im on the verge of ending everything because I am so alone but i have had so many negative experiences with people. My social anxiety is through the roof. i just need to put my thoughts somewhere or ill fucking explode.

#exmormon #feeling alone #alone with my thoughts #stuck #i am trying to get back control of my life #gen z experience

8 notes · View notes

hanging2with1my4gnomies · 2 years ago

Text

My mum is so rude to me and my dad doesn’t realise how rude she is to me and when my dad is rude to me she doesn’t realise how rude he is to me so when I tell one of them they just respond with more rudeness. And then I have to tell both of them that they are being rude but they just ignore me and don’t respond of even identify that I’m standing right next to them, so then I’m forced to yell (to get their attention) and THEN THEY YELL AT ME FOR YELLING! Like it’s not my fault that you ignored me in the first place like WHAT THE HECK. But then my mum just stops yelling smiles and speaks “nicely” to me and it’s not like a actually nice voice it’s the voice you use when you are trying not to yell and you are speaking through gritted teeth. Now, I CANT STAND THAT VOICE! And she knows that’s why she is using that voice just to get on my nerves. So then I’m forced to yell at her again and then my phone gets threatened to be taken away and so on and so forth. BUT the worst thing is, after all of this she proceeds to talk to me like nothing has happened and then after a while I forget that I’m angry at her and then everything is fine for a while until a few hours later the same cycle begins again.

My life is a emotional reck of trauma, depression and tears. I’m sorry that I’ve written all this I just needed someone to vent to as an only child, with no real friends. But another story for another vent and cry session.

Thanks for reading.

#im crying #annoying #rude

2 notes · View notes

2-cute-4-school · 4 years ago

Text

𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 : 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙡 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

@cherry-jaemin ~ Hello! Can I request a dreamies reaction to you being an idol and their best friend? Thank you!! ♡ (◕‿◕✿) ~~~ Thank you so much for your request it was really fun to write, hope you’ll like it!! :)))))

Mark Lee

he cherishes you A LOT (︶ω︶)

but i honestly see him as someone who keeps his private life private

so your close friendship is kept lowkey

but he finds time to spend time with you despite both your busy schedules even if it’s made through your phone screens :(((((

one thing he’s most grateful for is that you understand

you understand what it’s like spending hours in the practice room frustrated, you understand what it’s like constantly missing home, you understand what it’s like working nonstop with no breaks until your body forcefully gives up my heart breaks for him every damn time

you understand him

your friendship is so pure (•ˇ‿ˇ•)

like you can both be laughing your asses off one minute, mark flopping around like a fish on land

and the next one you can be having a therapy session usually consisting of wordless comfort

mark doesn’t seem an emotional person but if there’s one(1) thing that can shatter him is witnessing you on your breaking point

like you were usually the one to check up on him often and pull him away from work for a while before he drowned himself in it

so seeing you overworked and utterly exhausted made him sick

no one could convince him to leave your side for some time (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ

you clung onto each other and mark softly scolded you for taking more care of him than yourself despite knowing that he’d do the same you’re like his baby he’s allowed to

other than your emotional moments you’re so playful together

‘bruh’ ‘dude’ ‘man’ - your daily vocabulary involving each other -_-

you sometimes gather in a studio and just write lyrics together or help each other with practice bonding time

basically you just vibe together so well and you’re just so grateful for each other’s presence because it eases your hectic and busy lives

you feel like a breath of fresh air to him and vice versa

Huang Renjun

friendship with him is basically clowns clowning each other 🤡

even more so since you can both joke about your shared career

he makes a tradition of reacting to your every m/v god help u he clowns you from the first second to the last

“looking a bit constipated aren’t we, y/n? i guess that hotpot didn’t sit well with you” <(￣︶￣)>

“that’s just my face when i think about u, garden troll”

*huff* *incoherent mumbles of protest*

but he secretly streams THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR M/V and forces the rest of the dreamies to watch it several times too

you watch his radio every evening and sometimes even send in cringy messages just to get a reaction out of renjun lol

so basically you’re super supportive of each other but in your own ways

imagine sleepovers ma friend that’s a wiiild ride

ghost stories, alien conspiracies, crazy theories - THE MAIN MENU

bet y’all renjun can’t sleep without someone he can hold onto after watching or talking about scary things ੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭

and you wouldn’t call that cuddling no, it’s more like....strangling....but with love....kinda....yeah that sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

on another note, you made it you personal mission to lift his confidence whenever SM doesn’t treat him right (╬ Ò ‸ Ó) y’all evil cockroaches

and renjun always promotes you subtly during his lives

“ ‘renjun can you give us a song recommendation?’ yeah sure actually there’s this song-” spoiler alert : it’s always one of your songs

one of the biggest secrets in kpop is who drew that *absolutely* gorgeous portrait of you that you proudly showed in your own live

spoiler alert x2 : it’s renjun, it’s always renjun

your friendship is really one of a kind

basically best friends lovingly clowning and supporting each other at the same time precious am i rite

Lee Jeno

jeno seems like a very comforting person to me

like he’s someone you can go and vent to about all the pressure of your career and what not

and he’d just listen to you and hold your hand tightly in his if you’re able to meet face to face, he has his own way of grounding you when everything gets hectic （＾ｖ＾）

he’s a lowkey hypeman

whenever you happen to perform at the same awards show as dream he makes sure to dance and cheer cutely for you o(≧∇≦o)

you won an award?? this man is so proud he hollers louder than your fans well basically he’s your no.1 fan soo :))))))

he always tries to shield you away from hate so it’s one of the reasons he doesn’t disclose much of your closeness lowkey protective jeno

you had an airport accident once common against idols unfortunately

lemme tell ya, jeno went NUTS (｀⌒´メ)

he’s not a confrontational person but he CAN and WILL be when it comes to you

he babies the heck out of you for the next few days :3

and once he has the occasion to turn on vlive he takes a minute to *calmly* explain that while idols love their fans, it’s not fine for fans to invade their privacy and personal space preach sister

you were also close to flipping the sasaengs’s shit up when they kept bothering keno with calls leave the man alone jeez (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

he always reminds you to to take care of yourself

“don’t push yourself too hard” “don’t drink too much coffee, you’ve seen what it can do to jaemin and we don’t want that now, do we?”

he often covers your dances ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒ and nails them

“jeno you’re dancing better than me on MY OWN SONG”

“idk what you’re talking about” (＾ω＾)

overall your cheerleader and each other’s poorly read not at all paid bodyguards

Lee Haechan

“your sun is here to enlighten your life!!!!!”

“gtfo hyuck”

this man knows no privacy

he’s ruthless and he visits whenever he wants even if it means that’s on a wednesday AT 3 AM (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

he tells you it’s because your ‘just forcefully woken up’ is the best blackmailing material

in reality it’s because he just misses you A LOT ( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ )

this rascal is busy a lot and you’re busy a lot and so every single moment spent with you is so so precious to you both

he gets overwhelmed by this feeling of longing sometimes so he acts on instinct and just barges in wherever you are

but you can also count on him at any time

*middle of the night* *donghyuck sleepily answering his phone* *sniff* *sniff* “hyuck”

“yeah what’s wrong??? who am i beating up???? should i take johnny too???? just say the name cutie (*｀Ω´*)”

you only ended up crying about missing his cuddles

*sigh* “you only love me for my cuddles”

you once told him fleetingly that you missed breakfast and lunch

you found 2 boxes of takeout outside your apartment already paid by a certain someone i need a hyuck pls

he’s also quite vocal about your friendship and randomly mentions you

“y/n told me that i look cutest with my baby belly so unless you wanna pick a fight with them lay off gremlin” ー(￣～￣)ξ

both your dreams are to get to collab on something anything it would be heavenly for hyuck to colllab with anyone tbh

nothing can keep you 2 apart, your duo is just too strong and the world just isn’t ready for you

Na Jaemin

he’s such a warm person

he babies you but just because he wishes you’d have more time to spend with each other ( *’ω’* )

so the only way to quench his worry is texting you daily to make sure you’re alright and taking care of yourself or he’d personally do it

the way he talks about you tho (╯✧∇✧)╯ like you put the stars in the sky you did for him

“y/n is actually quite good at this game, i ate dirt when we played together”

“y/n looks so pretty in those pictures we took together” Σ(*ﾉ´>ω<｡`)ﾉ

“y/n is my favorite model end of story”

talking about his love for photography, you’re his model 80% of the time

his camera roll is filled with pictures of you every time you find enough time in both your busy schedules to meet up

he has enough to open a fanpage if he hasn’t done that already ;)

in turn you’d secretly dedicate parts of the lyrics you wrote to him

i’m telling you he would CRY hearing your sweet voice sing such beautiful words meant for him he would feel so appreciated pls ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

he always says that he has no other friends other than his members so having you validating the strong bond he feels with you would elevate him to cloud 9 :,(((((

i can imagine you two meeting on a variety show a mess that would be

you can’t be too close in front of the cameras in order not to give the wrong impressions

but behind the scenes you’re not leaving each other’s side, chatting and clinging onto each other the entire time (≡^∇^≡)

and even on screen as long as you’re allowed to you’re attached to the hip, ALWAYS beside each other

in conclusion you’re the besties everyone is envious of and wishes to share such a precious bond with someone ∩(︶▽︶)∩

Zhong Chenle

y’all are basically the ‘you can’t sit with us’ pair -_-

another one who i think would keep your friendship private

like it is public that you two are friends but neither of you shares more about your meetups and so on

but chenle is lowkey highkey whipped

chenji making keychains for the rest of nct? +1 for y/n (/^▽^)/

surprise party for chenle’s birthday? you’re dressed as staff waiting for him to notice you after cameras are turned off he screeched so loud the entire building heard him and then proceeded to cling onto you forever

you know how chenle took jisung to him home in china? he took you with him as often as you both could afford the time to he even rescheduled a few times to make it convenient for you to come along (｡•́︿•̀｡)

he buys all versions of your albums cuz he can

going to each other’s concerts!!!!!

i can imagine you accompanying his family to the dream concert (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥) the same one when jeno and jaemin decided to get nakey nakey yes

you’re texting nonstop istg (◔_◔)

chenle can always be seen texting in the waiting rooms and so on

you’re his source of confidence before concert and certain schedules

also you’re probably discussing your hangout plans :))))

which often ends up in playing basketball in a park at night and then getting bored or tired and just wandering aimlessly around

you secretly record duets together unreleased unfortunately ( ب_ب )

and he teaches you how to play piano

basically your friendship is very playful and you find a comfort place in each other to remind yourselves that you’re allowed to have fun and live your lives o(*>ω<*)o

Park Jisung

i think it took quite a while to befriend him

his shyness can get the best of him sometimes it’s okay bby

but once you got hi to break out of his shell you’ve got yourself a lifelong best friend congrats (ര̀ᴗര́)و ̑̑

he shows his caring nature through small acts

texts you good luck and encourages you before award shows

becomes your dramatic weatherman

literally glitches if you ever have even a *slightly* sexy concept

“how did you like the dance, jisungie?”

“i-uh...um...it was...yeah...it was really uh *coughs* *clears throat* it was NICE, yeah...nice” (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑)

ofc he *absolutely* loved it, he just respects you and looks up to you too much to make any further commentary

you coach each other through dance routines :3

you never fail to calm down and give confidence to jisung whenever his nerves get in the way

jaemin actually specifically asked you to look after jisung during his hiatus

jisung’s TMI’s sometimes involve you (´ㅂ`๑)

“today’s tmi? i started working on a surprise for you czennies...and i got help from a very talented performer”

the surprise was a dance cover choreographed and performed with you that was the death of your fandoms ੧| ⊗ ▾ ⊗ |୨

you can be considered childhood friends so you understand each other with little to no words spoken

that’s why everyone loves your ‘partners in pure crime’ friendship

393 notes · View notes