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shegatsby · 1 month ago

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Love Thy Enemy

Summary; Y/N Atreides had always been a stranger to the entire galaxy, her bed wasn’t her bed, her home wasn’t her home due to the fact that she was sent to accompany and be sisters with Irulan. She had limited access to her actual family and over the years they grew distant. She thought she would be like Reverend Mother, alone, yet powerful, and soon she would realize that there was no need of being alone when a wild creature had his eyes on her for a long time.

A/N: Hello my little doves! Sorry for keeping you waiting. Let me know what you think, love you all xx PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT TO TAG YOU!

Warnings: Baron pissing me off.

Words: 3.030K

Chapter Ten ‘’Escaping the Baron’’

The preparations were made for Feyd to leave Giedi Prime to Arrakis. Everything happened so fast after that blissful night with his wife…

His things were packed without his command, his soldiers, advisors and servants were leaving the planet to make sure once Feyd leaves his home planet he can be greeted in a suitable way. He found himself outside of the fortress, in the courtyard, His uncle was in his floating device, his wife was standing close to his uncle in a black dress, he knew why she wore that velvet black dress, she was mourning his leave and it frustrated him. He came up with plans to take her with him but that would draw too much unwanted attention. The second he shows affection to Y/N and she would be in grave danger. Her face was covered with a black veil, she was standing straight, hands clasped.

‘’Finish the job your brother started.’’ Baron spoke, his voice echoing in the courtyard by speakers he installed into his floating device, ‘’Kill every Fremen if needed be.’’ He tilted his device to give a dominant kiss to his nephew, it was their custom and Feyd hated every second of it. When he bid farewell to his uncle he turned to his wife, he had to be extra careful. He approached with his stoic expression, lifted her veil with both of his hands and there she was with shiny eyes and frustrated look.

‘’Farewell, Wife.’’ He said, his voice was colder than ice, it cut her deep but she knew why.

‘’Farewell, Husband.’’ Thanks to her Bene Gesserit training she was good at acting. ‘’I hope to meet my first born when I come back.’’ He said it so that his uncle could hear that the only thing Feyd cares is having a strong lineage. With his peripheral vision he could see the smirk on the Baron’s extremely pale face.

Feyd turned and bowed to his uncle for the last time and turned to the ship which was waiting for him. He left his heart and hopes behind.

The following days for Y/N was harder than expected, every morning Baron’s private doctor came to check if she was pregnant or not, thankfully Feyd mentioned about this before, the reason why the doctor didn’t come after their wedding was that Feyd postponed it for her, how thoughtful he was…

She portrayed a perfect persona to the Baron and his spies, she was sending messages to her family and her Bene Gesserit friends, especially the Reverend Mother. She knew that her messages were being read so in every message she mentioned how much she appreciates the Harkonnens and especially the Baron’s kind gestures. However, someone like Reverend Mother and Jessica could read between the lines, Bene Gesserit developed a method to hide secrets between the lines. Baron thought she was just a silly little girl who is missing her family and friends and that’s why she was sending letters every day, the truth was that she was writing reports of what happens to her and her surroundings every single day. Feyd told her to wait for his message and she was waiting day and night. A week after Feyd’s departure Rabban came back to Giedi Prime. He was more sour than usual since he couldn’t control Arrakis and the spice production. Baron greeted him coldly and looked at him as if he stepped on a cockroach, she could see Rabban’s pale blue eyes landing on her, he was a simple man so it was easy to read him. He wasn’t going to do anything just yet, he was planning something.. at this point it was anyone’s game.

When she learned that she was pregnant with Feyd’s child she was sitting by the couch in her living room, her maids standing behind her, the doctor smiling wickedly, she knew as soon as the doctor leaves he was going to run to the Baron to deliver the news, ‘’Since you are from Bene Gesserit it is best for her ladyship to make the baby’s gender boy. House Harkonnen would be pleased.’’ He was basically saying that she had no choice but to give birth to a son. Thankfully she still had some time to change the baby’s gender in her womb. It had been the 5th week of Feyd’s departure and still he didn’t send any letters or messages to her, she was getting worried, ‘’Any news of my husband?’’ she asked the doctor hoping that he might know something. The doctor was packing his things, she noticed the slight shake in his hands, he didn’t turn to her, ‘’Unfortunately I do not possess any knowledge of our Na-Baron.’’ He explained without addressing her sitting figure, ‘’Thank you doctor.’’ She said kindly and watched him leave her chambers. She bolted to her feet when he left, she turned to her trusted girls, ‘’I have a feeling that my husband has been sending letters to me and someone is hiding them from me,’’ she began she was pacing in the room in her satin gold dress, her bouncy hair was falling from her shoulders. ‘’My lady.’’ The old maid she brought with her spoke, ‘’If your worries are true, we are here to help you.’’ They all bowed to her, she felt the overwhelming emotions of gratitude and hope washing over her like the waves in Caladan.

Ever since she learned she was pregnant she was debating whether or not she should sent a letter informing him about the pregnancy.

Baron wasn’t the only one who had spies, Y/N trained her small group of maids the ways of learning information and unraveling the secrets, after few days one of her maids came to her and told her that Feyd-Rautha’s letters were directly going to the Baron’s room and the maid could snatch one of the them which was sent to Y/N. Y/N gracefully thanked the young girl and dismissed her, later she immediately opened the crystal tablet which consisted of Feyd-Rautha’s handwriting.

‘’My dear wife,

My days in Arrakis have been occupied with never ending strategies, spice production and making sure Fremen rebels are under control. I have a hectic schedule and yet here I am thinking of you and your well-being every second. This is the 5th letter I am writing to you and I do not know why you don’t have time to write me back but thankfully my people keep informing me of your state. You are healthy, and thriving with your maids surrounding you. It seems like I will be here for a year, cleaning Rabban’s mess.

Please write to me as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully, your husband Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen.’’

Tears covered her eyes, if this was the 5th then he must have been writing to her every week and waiting for an answer… ‘’Damn you Baron!’’ she cursed under her breath, she lit the fire place and destroyed the letter, she had to. She couldn’t afford someone finding it. She knew very well that if she wrote a letter it won’t reach to him so she had to come up with a plan. Thankfully she had excuse, Irulan was inviting her to spend some time with her, she left her chambers and marched to the Baron’s.

He was playing chess with the doctor when his guards let her in. This was the first time she saw his living room, it was covered in spice carpets and pillows, it was colorful than she had anticipated.

‘’My Baron.’’ She bowed, waiting for his raspy reply, ‘’Lady Y/N, it is lovely to see you here. Oh, forgive me, congratulations. I cannot wait to see Feyd’s first born son.’’ It was a threat, if she gave birth to a girl then her life would be in danger. She unconsciously placed her hand on her stomach, ‘’Have no worries Baron, I am eager to give birth to strong sons.’’ She had to play to his ego and he seemed pleased. ‘’Please, sit.’’ He gestured near a chair and she sat. ‘’Do tell Lady Y/N, what brought you to my chambers.’’ She noticed how focused the doctor was, listening to them. ‘’Princess Irulan has sent me a letter, inviting me to her domain.’’ Baron pretended like he had no idea, ‘’Oh, what a generous invitation.’’ He commented. ‘’I would love to visit her and my family before my pregnancy hinders me from any activities.’’ She sounded calm, if she showed too much interest then Baron would suspect something.

‘’I’m afraid I cannot allow that.’’

Her ears were ringing.

She used a Bene Gesserit technique to calm her nerves. ‘’May I ask why?’’

Baron’s eyes were glued to the chess table, trying to beat the doctor, ‘’Since your husband isn’t here I am responsible for you and my nephew’s offspring. If something were to happen to you, how would I answer to my dear Feyd?’’

She stood up gracefully, ‘’I understand. Thank you for your time.’’ To that Baron only nodded and continued his chess game. As she was leaving she promised to herself that one way or another she was going to escape.

Her feet took her outside and to the courtyard and to the green house Feyd had built it for her, it was the most kindest gesture anyone has made for her.. full of her favorite flowers and plants. As soon as she walked in she slammed the door and noticed that she was breathing inside. That place was her haven and only place she could breath in this hostile planet. How she wished to be in Arrakis, in the middle of the desert instead of being in the hands of Baron. She sat on one of the wooden benches, closed her eyes and took deep breaths in and out and she was calm again. She remembered that night when Feyd brought her here.. it was magical. ‘’We still have a chance.’’ She said and when she opened her eyes she had a scheme to get out of here.

Every Friday cargoes from Arrakis would come and bring spice to Giedi Prime, Baron was directly stealing from the Emperor. The cargo ships would come at night and after the guards collect the boxes filled with the spice they would leave again. This transaction only took 15 minutes, they were fast and well coordinated so she had to be quick. She only had three days, all night she studied the cargo ship’s design and the palace which the Harkonnes had built in Arrakis 80 plus years ago.

Arrakis was a complete strange place, she grew up in planets which had forests, ocean, flowers and plants but Arrakis only had the desert, huge rocks for Sieches and the Harkonnen palace. The Fremens had their own language, had their own style of fashion… she had limited amount of time to learn as much as she could.

She spent her day time as usual, not attracting any eyes, she had breakfast, wandered in the fortress, had conversations with servants, politicians. She was going to leave alone, she didn’t dare to put her maids in danger.

On Friday an invitation came from Baron, he would like to dine with her in the evening, she couldn’t refuse but she also didn’t want to delay her departure any longer. She came up with a plan, thanks to her Bene Gesserit programming she could predict the outcome of every plan and situation. She rubbed her stomach in a loving way, ‘’We are Atreides, we survive.’’ She whispered to her baby, her trainings made her be aware of everything and sense everything, she could feel her baby, it was a warm feeling.

In the evening she was dressed by her maids, as usual. Her dress was black, it was the color of Harkonnens, her dress was modest with long sleeves, she was escorted to one of the small dining halls, the great fortress had multiple dining halls, ball rooms etc. As the black metal doors opened she saw the Baron, in his chair, at the head of the table which held various types of dishes. He was an extravagant man when it came to food. ‘’Lady Y/N, excuse me I cannot stand. Please do be seated.’’ His raspy voice sent waves of negativity to her but she had to endure. ‘’Thank you Baron.’’ She replied and sat close to him, ‘’No other guests Baron?’’ she asked intrigued, she thought the table would be crowded. ‘’I don’t have the mental state to deal with guests.’’ He started eating and she looked at her plate, it smelled delicious, ‘’You must eat Lady Y/N for you are with child.’’

‘’Yes Baron.’’ And she began eating, the room had white glowglobes, she preferred yellow or orange lights, the fire place was lit, lately it was cold. ‘’I must add,’’ he began, his pale blue eyes were on food he was eating and the food he wanted to eat… it was disgusting. She lifted her head to address him, ‘’my nephew has been sending me letters of his well-being and the state he is in. Arrakis is under our control, thankfully.’’ He was a jerk, he was implying that Feyd was sending him letters and not her but it wasn’t true, Baron was keeping the letters he had sent for his wife. ‘’Oh,’’ she began, pretending like she had no idea, ‘’I do sincerely hope that my husband is healthy and is taken care of.’’ She made her voice sorrowful, just like Baron expected it… a dumb girl who fell in love with his nephew.

‘’He is very well and he has great company by his side.’’ She immediately understood his intention, he was hinting that Feyd had women warming his bed, she felt her stomach turn but didn’t flinch. They kept eating, she listened to his Harkonnen family stories, she was good at detecting which information he was keeping a secret or altering but his next words were something she didn’t expect it.

‘’After all… Feyd was the one who murdered his dear mother Emmi Rabban.’’

Her mind went to the day she had discovered the old book of Harkonnen lineage.

Emmi Rabban; Matricide

Baron chuckled in satisfaction when he saw her face fell, ‘’Would you like to know why dear Na-Baroness?’’ he was daring tonight, she blinked few times but composed herself, ‘’Maybe I will tell you one day.’’ He laughed hard this time, she couldn’t sit there anymore, her stomach was turning and she was about to throw up. ‘’Excuse me Baron, I would like to retire to my chambers.’’ She bolted to her feet, he laughed again and licked his thick fingers, ‘’You may Na-Baroness. Sleep tight.’’

Y/N didn’t remember how she left that dining hall but on her way to her chambers she stopped to throw up, the guards who saw her came for help but she stopped them with the rise of her hand, ‘’I’m fine, go back to your duties and find someone to clean this mess.’’ She said and she quickly went back to her chambers, she didn’t have much time if she wanted to leave right now. She quickly changed into pants and tunic, tied up her hair and got a small bag with her which she prepared, the fortress was silent just like every other night. She choose the desolated halls of the fortress to be safe. Her heart eas beating in her throat and ears, she remembered the night she tried to escape Feyd and he pulled a great game, it was her time now.

The cargo ships were landing outside of the fortress but near it for carrying them inside, she walked in the shadows of the garden, if one could call it a garden… it was just an open space with pale white marble floors. Outside smelled like a factory pipe, they have destroyed the nature of the planet, only few small forests remained in this huge landscape.

A cold breeze touched her body and made her shiver, she held her headscarf and continued walking, everywhere had guards but it was shift changing hour so she had few minutes to climb over the black walls, she climbed the small tree which was planted in a marble pot, later she lifted her left leg and pushed herself on top, she was sitting on the wall now, she had to jump and roll. She took a deep breath, rubbed her stomach, she might lose her baby after this jump but she had to. From her trusted resources she had found out that Baron’s plan was to toss her aside as soon as she gives birth. Y/N took a deep breath and as she predicted she rolled on the stone floor to make the impact softer than normal. Her ankle was hurt when she stood up, she had to keep her mouth shut, she wanted to scream but didn’t dare. She was limping, she knew she had few scratches but she kept going. She could see the cargo ships landing, soldiers walking to collect the harvest, she was hiding behind a metal box, watching soldiers and memorizing their movements, they were like robots, same faces, uniforms and movements. She easily moved behind the shadows and when the boxes of spice were taken and the cargo ships were empty she had few seconds to get in before the hatch closed off. She looked around, soldiers were occupied with the boxes, no one paid mind to the empty cargo ships and she did her move. She made sure her head, hair was covered, one could only see her deep eyes.

As she sneaked into the empty ship she came face to face with a bald headed and bulky soldier, they both froze and her training paid off. Before the solider could alert the others she used the voice on him.

‘’You didn’t see me.’’ She looked at the box he had, ‘’You only came here to get the boxes out and your job is finished, this conversation never happened.’’

He looked like was in trans, he carried the box outside and never looked back and the hatch of the ship closed.

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wellcollapse · 7 months ago

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idk if you're still writing the post-cemetry scene fic with pining eddie (idk if i'm describing it right) but i would love to hear more about it/see a snippet or too if you feel so inclined 👀

someone asking about angsty pining fic in the month of our lord april 2024? this was such a lovely surprise 😭 i'm gonna be honest with u anon i'm likely not going to publish 911 fic again BUT because you asked so nicely i'll give you a few older snippets from my draft:

Eddie sighs, breaking the stare. “You have a key, you know,” he says finally. “Feel free to come join me whenever you want.” He turns on his heel and walks back inside to finish his goddamn brownies, leaving Buck standing in the doorway. It’s silent for a few minutes. He’s in the middle of measuring a tablespoon of espresso powder when Buck steps into the kitchen and shuts the door behind him. Eddie feels the weight of Buck’s gaze on him as he folds the powder into his brownie mixture, but he doesn’t turn to meet his eye until Buck speaks. “Is that…” Buck falters. He clears his throat. “Is that my recipe?” “Yeah,” Eddie says gruffly. “Chris asked me to make it. Said he wanted to share it with his friends when they come over tomorrow for their playdate.” Buck snorts. “Man, you can’t call it that. Chris nearly bit my head off last time I tried. Kept reminding me that ‘playdates are for kids, Buck,’ and that he’s not a kid anymore.” Buck emphasizes that last bit with air quotes, and Eddie can’t help but grin at that. But his smile fades instantly, remembering the somber look on Buck’s face when he’d opened the door. He highly doubts that Buck came over just to commiserate about the trials and tribulations of watching Christopher grow up. Eddie bites the bullet. “Why are you here, Buck?” Buck shifts nervously. He shrugs and looks away from Eddie. “I — I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to answer that. You’ve never asked me that before.” Eddie scrubs at his face. “I've never had to ask you that, Buck. Things are different now. You’ve been busy.”

“Wow,” Buck says acidly, all traces of heartbreak gone. “I’ve never heard that one before.” Eddie frowns. “What?” “Really, Eddie?” Buck’s voice cracks on the last syllable. He shakes his head. “Unbelievable. Just — unbelievable.” “Buck — what are you talking about?” “We were just trying to protect you, Evan," Buck mocks. "You were never supposed to find out. We kept it from you because we love you. Any of that sound familiar to you?” Eddie’s breath hitches on the word love, because he doesn’t know, he can’t know, but then — Oh. Fuck.

Buck: We’ll get through this just like everything else. I promise. It’ll be okay. Buck: Eddie, did you eat enough today? Should I come by and bring you some food? Buck: You know you’re still my best friend, right? That’s never going to change, Eddie. Never. He reacts with a thumbs up or a tap-back heart on most of the messages, too exhausted to do anything else. He replies with a thumbs down to the message about food, certain that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Buck so soon. He knows he’ll have to face him in person eventually, but his tired, broken heart just wants to postpone it as much as he can. The last one, though, is a balm that both soothes and agitates Eddie’s burning, aching heart, and he taps out a brief, Thank you, you too. Always, in response. It feels like too much and not enough all at once, and Eddie wishes once again that he was a little better at resisting Buck, that he didn’t feel that need to reply to his every message lest Buck worry even more about him. The only one he actually acknowledges is a message that comes in at 2:43 AM on Sunday. As he opens the message, Eddie absentmindedly wonders if Buck’s having a hard time falling asleep for the same reason as him. Probably. It’s a link to a new exhibit at the Griffith Observatory, accompanied by a text that reads: Can I take Christopher here next weekend? Eddie squeezes back tears as he replies with a brief, Of course, and puts his phone down, letting the darkness swallow him again.

Hen beats him to it. “What happened, Buck? I thought you really liked her. Weren’t you planning to introduce her to Maddie and Chimney next week?” “Not anymore,” Buck mutters. “I broke up with her.” “What?” Eddie snaps head snaps up. “Why?” Buck doesn’t meet his gaze, his lip quivering. The rest of their team is watching them, eyes darting back and forth, and Buck blinks hesitantly before swallowing down a sip of coffee. He wipes the cream off of his upper lip and looks Eddie in the eye. “You know why,” Buck whispers.

#i love sad men. also thank u for the ask btw it does mean a lot that someone was still thinking about this fic <3 #rae writes #fic: blue skies #answered #anon

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kpopsexstories · 24 days ago

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An Update on the Most Memorable Sex of Beomgyu (TXT)

Only those who have followed this blog for a while – or who have gone on a reading spree – probably realize that I care a lot about what stories I put out on the blog. Particularly with the Most Memorable Sexual Experiences of... series, in which many stories feel different and more real than those in other series', where the focus might be stronger on the sex.

On a superficial level, things I consider are thing like the fact that MMSE stories never have gay sex (except Ten's story which I later regretted, though it's actually thanks to that story specifically that there's now a dedicated gay smut series). And that the sex must be reasonably realistic (though some stories are wilder in that department than others).

On a deeper level, at least for some of the stories, I get really into the plot. In the best MMSE stories (in my opinion) I've carefully considered everything from consistency to nuances in word choices. While each story is a one-shot and not connected to other MMSE stories, the stories on their own carry a thread and a certain emotional depth, both in content and in writing style. To me, those are the best ones.

For Beomgyu's story in the MMSE of TXT series, which is scheduled to be published in a little over a week, I've failed in two regards.

I think I wanted to top past stories from other series, to keep things fresh. But crazy wild sex or unusual situations do not equal a great MMSE story. Unfortunately, for Beomgyu that means that I was never happy with the idea that I originally tried to write for him, as an installment of that series.

The idea and half-finished first draft that I have doesn't fit with the Beomgyu I imagine. It's more a story I might write for NCT Johnny or Jeno, but not for innocent and happy little Beomgyu. Also the premise/plot is honestly kind of boring, perhaps the most glaring issue of all ☹️

I've worried a lot about this in recent weeks. The TXT stories you see published right now (every Monday) were all written 3-9 months ago. Some took as little as a week to complete, when inspiration really struck and I was in the flow. Others took many months to get to my standard.

I also have a confession: I never actually finished writing Beomgyu's story before I announced and started the series. That was why I scheduled him for last. The reason I felt so blocked was obvious though. I never liked the story to begin with.

Now you might think that I'm about to say that I will postpone or cancel Beomgyu's part altogether. For a while I considered that, to at least give myself a few more weeks to write something good. But that's not what I'm here to say. I'm here to – happily – announce that I just finished the first draft of a brand new story in full!

Once I reach that stage with any story I know for sure that it's going on the blog. It might still require significant editing, but I have a story and the difficult part in which I might experience writer's block is past me. It's always a great relief to get to that point, and it feels really good.

What's even greater, however, is the fact that I'm really happy with how this story turned out. Not just the plot which is more interesting than my previous attempt, but my writing style throughout the whole thing. I really got in the flow with this one, a state and feeling I get now and then but which I previously have only felt so strongly when I wrote the second part of my older MMSE of Jisung story (NCT).

I also went in the complete opposite direction with this new idea compared to the previous one. Rather than being the crazy sex finale to the TXT installment I imagined it to be, the new story explores losing ones virginity, something I believe I've previously only done once, in MMSE of Chenle. And unlike Chenle's story, Beomgyu's has a deeper and less generic storyline.

Long story short, I've scrapped the previous idea for Beomgyu completely, but I have now written a whole new part for him. One I'm really very happy with, because the story fits and the plot and writing style felt like it was really good while I was writing it, which is always a good sign.

Assuming all things finally go according to plan and I don't hate the story when I re-read it to edit and proofread, Beomgyu's part is still scheduled to be up on October 28. Phew!

Before that, on this coming Monday (October 21), you can still look forward to Soobin's story which I will do a final proofread of next week.

And of course, you can already read the MMSE stories of Yeonjun, Hueningkai and Taehyun right now. All three are stories that I'm happy with, ideas that worked out from the start even though I never got quite into the same flow with them as I've now done with Beomgyu. Especially for Hueningkai and Taehyun, it took me significantly longer to have a complete first draft than it now did for Beomgyu. That in itself should be a reason to look forward to Beomgyu's story when it comes 🙂

If you've read this far, let me leave you with another happy announcement which is more a long-term teaser than anything else. There's another series which I started writing last week, and where I've already outlined in detail an 8-part plot from start to finish. I've felt a similar kind of flow and productivity that I did when I re-wrote Beomgyu's story earlier today. In fact I had to force myself to stop working on it, in order to brainstorm new Beomgyu ideas in the first place.

That new series is a new "season" of the (100% gay) NCT Dream 'Dating Ban' series (which is still on-going with three more already written parts to be published). This time, it will be about the members of 127. So if you prefer gay smut over my straight stories, you've got that to look forward to in 2025 😉

Thank you for being here and for following and consuming the work that takes up pretty much all of my free time these days!

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amethystina · 6 months ago

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hiii! just curious of you've watched beyond evil? 🤔 (ps: i loveeee ur fics <3)

I have not, no, but it's been on my list of things to watch since I saw The Devil Judge. Though mainly because I had seen (and liked) Yeo Jin Goo in Hotel del Luna and was curious to see him in a drama with a different tone and story (i.e. I had no idea about the comparisons between The Devil Judge and Beyond Evil at the time). It was actually one of the dramas I had planned to watch right after The Devil Judge, but then got too distracted writing fanfics x'D

And, by now, I'm mostly postponing it because I don't want to collect another drama I possibly want to write for, which is the same reason why I haven't watched Word of Honor or Evilive, for example.

(For real: I took one look at Kim Young Kwang in Evilive before noping the fuck out because I have a type — a specific brand of kryptonite, if you will — and that man, in that specific drama, so perfectly encapsulates it that my flight-or-fight response kicked in. I feel like I dodged a bullet on that one)

(But I will eventually watch it — just give me some time)

Anyway! Also, from what I've gathered, the Beyond Evil peeps are doing fine without me? Like, they seem to be having a great time! No need for me to show up like the aggressive, invasive species that I am and ruin it x'D

I do want to watch it some day, though, but I admit a part of me is also kind of... hesitant? Because people have hyped it up so much? And what happens if I watch it and don't like it? Or don't find it as fascinating as everyone else seems to? x'D

(I'm pretty sure I will, but the worry is there nonetheless)

I'm one of those people who prefer to go into things blind. If I hear too much, I will build expectations (or start figuring out spoilers) without meaning to and it usually influences my experience in ways that are detrimental to the drama/show/movie in question. The less I know, the better (aside from triggers and warnings, of course).

And while I know next to nothing about Beyond Evil's plot (and would like to keep it that way so please don't spoil me!) some of the posts I've seen here on Tumblr have already influenced me negatively towards it. Which I absolutely HATE. And I'm referring to the ones that basically say that everyone should watch Beyond Evil instead of The Devil Judge because it's so much better. And while that might very well be true (especially since a lot of that is subjective), I'm still going to end up unintentionally siding with the only one of those that I actually know in more detail (i.e. The Devil Judge).

"You can't tell me what to like or not like" and all that.

Which I know is a ridiculous response and I'm trying to combat it, but I can't deny that it still affects me. To the point where I honestly wished I had watched Beyond Evil sooner since now I worry I'm going to be biased in a negative way, simply because of the discourse I've happened to glimpse online. I don't want to compare the two, but I feel defensive enough that I still might, despite my best intentions. I want to be able to judge things based on their own merit.

So can we please just stop pitting things against each other? It's tiring and ruins the experience for me.

I just want to be able to watch and enjoy cool things :C

TLDR: I haven't watched it yet but hope to at some point since it sounds like it will be good. But I'm hesitant because I already have too many projects and don't want to stumble into another fandom I want to write for right now x'D

And thank you so much! I'm glad you like my fics 💜

#Amethystina Replies #Anonymous #There are so many shows I'm postponing because I don't want to get distracted #Beyond Evil and Word of Honor are the most prominent #Because it's been YEARS at this point #Maybe I should just get it over with?#Rip it off like a bandaid #But again #I'm worried I'll get distracted #And I do love my current fics so much #On the other hand #Both Beyond Evil and Word of Honor are so well established at this point #With no doubt so many good fics already #There probably won't be much I can add xD #So maybe I could convince myself the fandom doesn't need my fics as well

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teecupangel · 2 years ago

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i love that y'all have long meta conversations or worldbuilding ones for stuff for 10+ yo games with characters that are totally fine and weren't killed off. sorry, that's besides the point--i love that you guys get really into it. i can't follow the convos mostly, but i love the enthusiasm. means i'll get to read more awesome fic <3

When canon fucks you up, you fuck it harder.

Okay, but in all seriousness, I think the reason why we can have this long meta conversation or world building is because it is about a 10+ year old story and because it's Assassin's Creed.

Based on my experience, new lore dumps can break your will to write a fic that heavily focused on worldbuilding. That happened to me when FEW3H dropped earlier this year and I still can't find the will to continue the long fic I had that was heavy on worldbuilding because of the many new lore dumps it had that contradicted what I had already set up.

But Assassin's Creed...

Or, to be more exact, Ubisoft...

Ubisoft's choices in lore and gameplay make it so easy to just pick apart the lore and go to town with it. It's a common joke here that we all hate Ubisoft but we all say we love them the moment they give us a new trailer only to then hate on them again after we hear or see what other bs they have in store.

I can't easily do that to Monolith Studios or to Falcom or to Fire Emblem in general. But Ubisoft? Hell yeah. (Still bitter about that Prince of Persia 'postponed indefinitely' and also Splinter Cell new game when? Child of Light was good though.)

The fact that I focus heavily on the Desmond Saga and his part of the modern day setting also helps because that part of the lore is done. We have all the information Ubisoft decided to make canon.

That means we can pick it apart.

And if we don't like them?

Well, Desmond's been dead for 10 years already, we haven't really liked a lot of things Ubisoft had done to the franchise even longer than that.

I love Assassin's Creed but I don't like many of the choices Ubisoft made in regards to the story and the gameplay. And it's that contradiction that gives birth to so many fic ideas, headcanons, and metas.

It's less of a fix it and more of a

Even if it's about the current game, I can still screw around with canon because of that mindset when it concerns an Ubisoft Original.

(Also, the multi-universe theory is in play with the calculations. If the canon doesn't suit our need, there must exist a calculation that will, thanks Minerva)

Anyway, what I mean is these kinds of meta and world building will definitely continue.

Hell, with how they're teasing us with having Alamut in Mirage, we might get to see the actual Alamut castle later down the line and it will most probably contradict my idea of Alamut being a bigger version of Masyaf that is heavily influenced by the Alamut castle in the Prince of Persia movie. Will seeing canon Alamut stop me later on? Nah.

I can add an eagle-exclusive aviary on top of a tower in Alamut so they can have eagle partners ala Basim and Enkidu or even put a freaking thermae in Alamut and not even Ubisoft showing us the real Alamut Castle will be able to stop me.

Assassin's Creed says History is Our Playground and I am playing on the sand making my own crap with you guys and throwing wet sands at anything Ubisoft gives us that I don't like.

#ask and answer #this is me ranting how i love ac but hate ubisoft #teecup rants

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andaniellight · 1 year ago

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you're one of the most memorable authors that i liked back in my jujutsu kaisen phase and knowing you're currently into one piece now as a multishipper and i'm actually this 👌🏻 close to have a ship in one piece as well (possibly zolu or zosan tbh) thanks to you, do you ship anyone with anyone else in one piece? if there aren't, can i know your headcanons towards the one piece ships that you ship?

HI ! HELLO ! ! !

Oh, shit, "one of the most memorable authors"? Where did that come from! Genuinely, what a title. Either way, I'm honored tho, thank you so much :D Forever grateful that people letting me know they liked my stuff, so I hope you enjoyed your stay in this shit show of mine (assuming you must've been following me since, what, 1 year ago? 2 years ago?) !!! I truly thank you for giving all of my stories a chance back in JJK phase <3 and sorry if they ever broke your heart......

Now, for other ships in One Piece beside ZoLu and ZoSan (and please keep in mind that that means I also ship ZoLuSan ok HAHAH), I'll have to warn you first that this answer will wander every where since my thoughts are all over the place.

I really like Frobin's dynamics (Franky & Robin). I love them as much as I love Nami and Vivi's dynamics. Thanks to that particular scene where Robin turned into a literal angel growing a pair of wings to save Franky from falling, I guess? Also realized that Frobin is basically a ship of 'a character who has/grew up with siblings x a character who's an only child' something something. And, I know, as I write this down, a lot of people would think that 'oh what a cheap reason to ship characters like that', but I do have the tendencies of shipping characters in critical moments (?)

Or, if I'm allowed to summarize it, my One Piece ships are basically a bunch of "a character with a very specific and precise personal dream to achieve that they don't really think it might effect the others so greatly so long they get to experience a life of their own and feel truly alive" x "a character whose dream is to 'serve' other people because they know they're capable and are willing to go the extra miles to prove that it is such the greatest ability to have"

That's how I started shipping ZoLu in the first place anyway; in a huge critical moment that had a lifechanging impact. Luffy shielding Zoro from bullets on a whim on their first meeting with 0 hesitation not only because he could do it without dying but also he knew Zoro would suffer further in the most unfair way (because bullets hurt normal human, okay? AND ZORO WAS TIED DEFENSELESS) WHICH THEN turns into Zoro repaying that to Luffy right away but still he stayed by his side, even decided to devote his life for this silly lil guy who just saved him despite knowing Luffy must be a much stronger person than him because of the devil fruit he ate the sheer willpower Luffy has and has shown whenever he announces about this dream to be the king of the pirates (an even more insane dream than Zoro's, and Zoro understood this as well).

The same thing for Nami and Vivi. The build up of their bond in Alabasta was just [chef kiss] MWAH. Postponing each other's priorities to prioritizes the other's needs instead. Nami understood what a grave dread Vivi was feeling for her oppressed country she'd rather die than letting her to feel that even longer, shared sentiments and whatnot, but Vivi feared for Nami's life in the brink of death because of a deadly illness and it's louder and fiercer than anyone could expect. Their backstory are so similar in a way but they did what they had to because of different reasons entirely. This kind of mindset I believe was an offspring or some sort from how they grew up where they had to "betray" their loved ones, by abandoning them temporarily, for the sake of their loved ones' safety.

And for Frobin... Robin used to disregard her life so easily because she has no one else left that she cared about, but now, she has a dream to find the Rio Poneglyph which tells the True History of the One Piece world including the Void Century, continuing the research of her mother Nico Olvia and her old mentor Clover. While Franky on the other hand has a dream to build a ship to go on countless adventures and see that ship reach "Laugh Tale", and this dream of his was based on the discipline of kindness he's built along the people he cared about and still continues to care about despite the distance and everything.

Anyways. Those are pretty much a handful of ships that I ship aside from ZoLu that have, at least, "patterns", and a couple of layers of why-s they're interesting to ship, to me. Unlike ZoSan, which, I basically ship solely based on horny reasons-

#the last part is (partly) a joke ofc because Sanji is a self-sacrificing idiot that I need to put shackles on so he doesn't off himself #to trade his life over someone else's because Zeff raised him so well he's a solid gentleman #long post #anonymous #anon ask #thanks for coming to my TED Talk ig sorry for the pointless answer hope it helps or sorry if it doesn't #Frobin #Nami x Vivi #Franky x Robin #Nico Robin #Franky #One Piece #Nami #Nefertari Vivi

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acourtofthought · 2 years ago

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Okay, scandalous idea: I think SJM will write Elucien’s book next and Gwynriel will be in the last book but will not get as much page time because she will give even more characters POVs as it is basically a series finale book. Like ACOMAF was Feysand’s book but mostly Feyre (the entire trilogy really), Silver Flames was Nessian’s book but mostly Nesta, Book 5 will be Elucien’s book but mostly Elain and finally Book 6 will be Gwynriel heavy but also a series finale with a lot of story threads being tied up, characters getting their closures, etc etc so not necessarily Gwynriel’s book. Does that make sense? It might piss off some people who support Gwynriel though for a book’s attention to be so divided. But hey I support Gwynriel and I’d be cool with that. What do you think?

I feel like SJM loves these couples but Elain’s story has been waiting a long time and she’s always prioritized the Archeron sisters above Cassian and Azriel or any of the IC let’s be honest. The sisters are the ones getting their own books right? That’s not to say that Gwyn is not an important character because she is! But she’s a very NEW character. She will get her own POV and story soon but it won’t be as pronounced because SJM will have to do a lot of series-wrapping in that final book. This is all of course under the assumption that Elucien’s book is next and I really really hope it is.

Thoughts?? Also, love your blog!!! 🥰🥰

Thank you!! And Happy Thursday 😊

In regards to the Spin-off series, SJM said this in a few interviews:

"The new books will be set up as more traditional romances. Each of the books going forward will feature a new / different romantic pairing as the protagonists."

So it sounds like an Elucien book would only have an Elain / Lucien POV and a Gwynriel book would only have a Gwyn / Az POV. BUT......

I sort of agree with what your saying in a bit of a different way. The last book in the series will probably feature the major battle scene and we know that final battle will pay attention to all the characters (just as we saw in ACOWAR). It wouldn't just be what Elucien was doing in the war or what Gwynriel was doing in the war, SJM would need to find a way to mention what Nesta and Cassian are doing at different points, who Rhys and Feyre are battling, the Valkyries, other courts, etc. Also, in the lead up to the war, we're going to need to see the courts come together in their planning so we might have on page time dedicated to those characters (but from the POVs of whoever the book belongs to).

It would make the most sense to me to have all of that come from a Gwynriel POV as they'd be the warrior couple who are most strongly tied to the IC (and their perspective during the actual battle would be valuable) and I'd think the politics end of things would come in the book before but regardless, I imagine the final book will mention more characters from across all of their world(and maybe other worlds if anyone joins the battle) whereas the second to last book would be somewhat more contained.

It wouldn't necessarily effect the main characters individual journey's or romance though, SJM could just make the last book the longest.

There's a lot of reasons an Elucien book being next makes the most sense to me and one of those is in line with what you were saying. Elain and Lucien's journey has been building a long time. I have no doubt Gwynriel's will have a lot of reveals and threads to tie up but at this point, they've only had one book of real buildup (Az has more than that but Gwyn and they as a couple have only had SF). It doesn't make sense to me to once again postpone the mystery of who Lucien's father is, whether Elucien will accept their bond, having another full book trying to convince us that Elain doesn't belong in the NC, another book where Vassa's time is close to running out, another full book where they need Spring up and running, another book of what the extent of Elain's powers are, another book hinting at the Day powers Lucien has without Lucien being aware of them. It starts getting weird to continually tell us these things are unanswered without actually answering them.

#pro elucien #elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra

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thedivineart · 2 years ago

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Hey, here for your new game.

First of all, thank you for the opportunity. Appreciate the time and the energy.

Initials:- M D

Sun sign:- Leo(Tropical)

Time:- 07:40 PM (Indian standard)

Passcode:- gojoxartemis:)

Again, thank you and looking forward to it. Have a great day/night. Cheers 🥂

7 THINGS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE

cards: jack of hearts, 9 of clubs, 10 of spades, queen of diamond, 6 of clubs, jack of spades, 7 of hearts, 3 of hearts

regarding to the first thing about them, I feel they are just around your age too or probably same age, they got youthful energy here though, they are good natured individual and they do love arts and poetry however the negative side could be immature and too insecure person. on the other hand, if you got brother or someone close male in your life they probably introduce you to your fs or they will be your friend first before having romantic relationship with them.

they be living in faraway and so that's the sign that they are not living in around your neighborhood or you may meet them in your late 20s or even 30s since you got the delay and postpone card here. I feel that they are experiencing anxiety or depression in life ATM.

at the present they actually doesn't know what to do which causing it to be negative in some way, I feel they experience some shocking or unfortunate events in present life which they worry, fear or disappoint them big time. may possibly losing hope about their future since they thought there's alot of people are blocking their way from reaching there goals and dreams in life. on the other hand, I feel that they also experience betrayal or deception to their relative one, you may meet them also near water ( large body of water ) like ocean or beach, fountain, pond, etc. and that might be happen at night and during cold weather season.

someone may help them towards their problems and this is feminine, they will overcome their problem. they are intelligent, imaginative and professional individual and probably financial secure too. they also be working related to money, like a accountant, bank executive, bank manager and government or public official.

this person loves to share their opinion and never be afraid to share what are their thoughts and ideas about the certain thing, I feel whenever they are talking there's also an action or body language through it which super cute for me. they do love writing and reading probably that's one of their hobbies. they are good at counseling or giving advice to people around them or if the person needs it they will be willingly to give one, they do love studying and expanding their knowledge though.

as per I said a while ago that they may be leaving in faraway they could be also a foreign one however they are still young tho. people may put this person in leadership position even thought they are still young, they reason why maybe it's because they know alot of things, very clever and they are full of skills. may work as soldier or military, police officer etc. they are also cold and detach which can appear as a serious one. negative sides could be a bully or someone who often in troubles, could be a liar or someone who is controlling.

on the other hand, they also have this aura of being peaceful and healing at some way, they may like to surprise you which could make you happy also them or this person loves it when people surprise them but in positive way.

this person isn't your ex, it's like a new person coming into your life and yeah you could probably meet them too at party like small celebration type merely like idk baby shower, baptism, gender reveal and they are beautiful person and lovable, probably got strong venus vibes. literally they really loves arts and poetry, they do talent about those things. by the time you meet this person they will be your definition of happiness and love in your life.

© thedivineart — i speak with myself alone that this is the only copy, original work and was answered by thedivineart for the participant who was join in recent game of this account user. leaving feedback is highly appreciated, Thank You♡

#🥨 : GAME ANSWER BY: @thedivineart

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acefaun · 2 years ago

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Take your time sweetie, don't be rough on yourself. Fics can wait another week or month(s) , it doesn't matter. Your mental health and life comes first. I love you. ❤

My mindset right now is just "slow and steady wins the race" and "I'll get there when I get there."

I physically want to write and read fanfics, but when I start I'll read or write a few paragraphs and my brain will just space out on me. But even if I can only write a few paragraphs a day, I feel accomplished with myself.

My mental health is the reason I wanted a dog, actually. I want that small companion to keep me company and we can enjoy life together, and I can pet her when I'm having anxiety. Because I swear people give you the weirdest looks for petting a stuffed animal when you're in the middle of an anxiety attack. 😒 So I'll be training my doggo to be a support dog that I can take everywhere with me. ✨ And mental health will be cured!

Body dysphoria on the other hand... I'm searching for safe binders that I can wear to work and when I go out. 🙏🏻 I'll feel much better about myself when I can look in the mirror and look as gender neutral as I want to be.

I wanted top surgery, but some things look nice with breasts. Like a suit and tie. 😍 The way a suit and tie just roll over a chest is beautiful to me. So a binder would fix the problem without a surgery.

So, I have everything mostly figured out. It's a matter of the universe agreeing with me.

And then look

I always have my hair like Ichthys. I love the length and the style, it's super manageable. But my hair appointments keep getting postponed and now my hair is as long as Zyglavis' and it's long AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

THE UNIVERSE NEEDS TO ALIGN WITH ME FOR A HOT SECOND.

But thanks for being so sweet and understanding about everything. 🥰 Life is life and everyone has to deal with it sometimes.

I love you too! 💕💖 You're always here being so nice and supportive! I'll never regret coming to Tumblr with all the nice friends around. Ah, you guys always steal my heart. Ye sweethearted scoundrels. 😚

#my asks

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royal1asset-if · 2 years ago

Text

Christmas Celebration

Isang Maligayang Pasko Mga Kapatid( A Merry Christmas My Brethrens)

Hello, I want to wish everyone a very nice day and more nice days to come.

So in celebration I decided to write this skit :).

Also, I'm inviting other IF authors to this kind of silly skit( If you want to of course :)

Me: Alright gang, Merry Christmas ( Cheerful)

Luna: What now Author?( Annoyed 😠😠😠)

Elric: Haha Luna, stop being a killjoy ( Bumping Luna's shoulder)

Serena: Yeah Looney livin up a little( Smirking at Luna)

Luna: I swear I'm gonna kill the both of you someday( Smiling in anticipation)

Amelia: You mean you will kill them with kindness, right Luna?( Hoping)

Conrad: No Amelia, Luna means that she will literally and deliberately murder those two!(Pointing at Elric and Serena)

Dustin: Alright can we stop and calm for a sec( Placating everyone)

Me: Dustin is right everybody and to spice things up, I even invited 3 more guess to our party.( Giving the signal)

The door opened Leon and Leona came in.

Leon: (Whistle 😙😙) So this is where the 6 of you run off too.( Smirking 😏😏😏)

Leona: I do say this is a nice place( Sounding Impressed)

Me: Thank you for the praise Leona( Nodding my head at her).

Leon: Hahaha, Leona complimenting looks like it's a Christmas miracle ( Laughing and slapping his leg.)

Elric joined in Leon's laughter but a single glare from Leona shuts him up.

Leon: So anyways, I have to say I'm a bit heartbroken when I had that you guys have these cool ask and readers wanting to know about you guys( Looking hurt)

Leona: Oh shut up Leon, stop being a drama queen( Chastising Leon)

Conrad: Author didn't you say there were 3 guest, why there is only 2.( Gesturing to Leon and Leona)

On cue Hendrick came inside.

Leon: Always leave it up to you to make an dramatic entrance, huh Hendrick( Slapping Hendrick's back)

Hendrick: You know me Leon, old habits die hard.( Chuckling)

At the sight everyone kneeled down on the presence of the king( With the exception of me of course)

Everyone: Your Majesty.

Hendrick: Now now everyone, Hendrick is just fine and I'm here as a friend not a king.( Assuring everyone)

Dustin: Even so your majesty, I have a duty to be respectful to you ( Becoming so knightly 😑😑😑)

Hendrick: Is that so?, Very well as your king I command you to call me Hendrick and postpone all formalities till the end of Christmas (Authritive)

Serena: Well you heard Hendrick( She says rising up and everyone follow suit)

Hendrick: So Author what is the reason you have gathered us here?( Curious?

Me: Well Hendrick, I want us to celebrate and I want you everyone to say your Christmas advices to our readers who is reading this( Gesturing to you guys 😉😉😉)

Luna: I will go first, when lock in a snowball fight do not let your enemy have tha advantage and if you can sabotage their supply line do it, do not give them mercy and bathe in their blood( Scary)

Serena: Me next, ny advice to you is that if you want a kiss everytime, put mistletoes in every corner of your house but expect it to backfire cuz you will be kissing everyone.( Winking)

Elric: My turn, Remember ladies and lads, it's not the place that really matters but it's the company that really counts, what good is villa if you have no one to celebrate with( Huh? that's nice advice actually)

Amelia: For me, I want you to share your blessing with those who are unfortunate ( A goody two shoes)

Dustin: Well for me, always be responsible and obedient to our parents and elders.( As expected)

Conrad: Just do whatever you want to do, I have no idea what oneself does in christmas( Conrad being Conrad 😑😑😑)

Leon: This is fun, live your life to the fullest kiddos and remember always play safe( Hmmm 🤔🤔🤔 what does he means by that?)

Leona: Obey the rules of your parents and don't be an insolent child( Well that's kinda rude)

Hendrick: Just have fun everyone and thank your parents for everything they have done to you( Waving at you readers)

Me:Well that's outta way, let's get this party started (🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉)

I snapped my fingers and a bouncy castle appeared.

Conrad: What dark magic is this?( Standing and approaching the bouncy caslte like it's some demon 😈😈😈)

Me: That my dear Conrad is the magic of fun( Snapping my fingers and teleporting him inside the caslte)

Conrad: SOMEONE OR SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING I'M BEING DIGEST BY THIS ABOMINATION ( Screaming in horror and bouncing inside)

Serena: That looks fun( Started running towards the bouncy castle.)

Me: Oh I almost forgot( Getting an ask paper, who I made it secretly 🤫🤫🤫) Hendrick I have an ask for you.

Hendrick: Alright let's hear it( Interested)

Me: Do you have feelings for Leona?, you can answer with a yes and no( Crossing my legs)

Leona: HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS THE KING THAT WAY( Ahhhh defending her love, how 🎂🎂🎂)

Hendrick: It's alright Leona( Calming Leona)

Me: Oh addendum, if the Hendrick didn't say anything other than the 2 choice that are mentioned the. It's an automatic yes( The perfect trap 🪤🪤🪤)

Hendrick didn't say anything and remained silent 😶😶😶

Leona: Wha----WHATTTTT( Mouth open and blushing)

Leon: I fucking knew it, I'm gonna be an uncle someday( getting on his knees and worshipping something)

Leona: Is it true?( Clarifying for answers)

Hendrick didn't say word with a snap of my fingers a mistletoe appeared above their heads.

Serena: OH SHIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT IS A MISTLETOE ( jumping up and down)

Leon: Hendrick you know the sacred rules of the mistletoe and it's unbecoming of a king of you disobey this rules( Coaxing Hendrick)

Hendrick: I suppose you're right Leon(Standing up and taking Leona's hands) Leona may I have the honor of kissing you?( My plan is in motion)

Leona: This can't be happening( In denial)

Leon: FOR FACK SAKE MAN JUST KISS MY SISTER ALREADY( Getting frantic now)

Hendrick started leaning close to Leona and Leona's eyes closed, puckering her lips.

Leon: Getting closer( An inch till touchdown)

Everyone started leaning close in anticipation.

Me well l, let's not ruin that part so folks sorry but I gotta end it right here.( Error broadcast ended)

#royalasset #snippet #character tropes #writers on tumblr #writers in tumblr

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lukepattersun · 3 years ago

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I just saw a tiktok where, on his first date with a girl, this guy went to get his wisdom tooth out and for some reason it's giving me Juke vibes!! I wanna write this so bad and this is how it should go:

Julie and Luke have some mutual friends and they've been introduced but they've never properly talked

they find each other cute but they think they're out of each other's league

at a party they're both at, he spills beer on her dress and offers to repay her and they exchange numbers

they start texting each other and there's obvious chemistry

there's flirting and then she sorta asks him out, he says yes (duh) and they arrange the date

meanwhile Luke's dentist postpones his appointment and it falls on the same day as the date

he asks her if they can reschedule but she's busy all week and that's the only day she has off work so she just tells him 'I can go with you and keep you company'

for some reason he agrees?? as if her first impression of him wasn't bad enough

they meet up half an hour before the surgery and go for a walk, then she drives him to the dentist's

he goes in, comes out 45 minutes later pretty loopy

he serenades her and uses terrible pick-up lines on her

somehow she's charmed instead of weirded out because who knew he was such a dork??

they leave and get milkshakes and he cries a little because he's afraid he won't remember this wonderful date

she drives him back to the apartment he shares with the boys

a speechless Alex opens the door because when Luke told him he was going on a date with Julie on the same day as his wisdom tooth removal he thought he was joking

she tells Alex to take care of him and text her if they need anything

he calls her the next day apologizing profusely but she just laughs and tells him that since he ruined her dress it was only fair that she saw him embarrass himself

it's risky but he has nothing to lose so he asks her 'any chance you wanna see me making a fool of myself for a second time?'

they go on a second, way more normal, date

he picks her up this time, they go to a record store and then get milkshakes because it's now a tradition

she shows him videos of him after the surgery and they laugh about it

he has band practice after the date and asks her if she wants to come but 'it's totally cool if you don't because it's late and you're probably tired, right?'

but to his surprise she's actually quite excited about it because 'serenading me after your surgery was cute but I wanna see what you're really capable of'

so she watches the band rehearse and when it's time to go, Luke drives her home and, right before getting out of the car, she kisses him

he's a bit stunned and frankly quite confused because he's ridiculed himself in front of her time and time again but she stuck around

he starts the car a couple of minutes later and drives back to finish band practice

he can't really focus though, so they call it a day and Luke goes home and finds a text from Julie thanking him for the great night

he smiles and decides that 'fuck it, I'm gonna call her' and he does

they talk on the phone for a couple of hours until it's time to go to bed but not before setting up a third date

and the rest is history. the end ♥️

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #lukepattersun rambles #luke patterson #julie molina #juke #wrote this during two breaks yesterday (and a little bit before going to bed)#I'm not exactly confident but I think I'll pass the exam and that's all I care about honestly lol #I needed to relax a bit and writing about Juke did the job as always 🥰

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lucianalight · 3 years ago

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Would you give your opinion on this video regarding narcissists in the MCU?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n2Tg-OmOztM

:) thank you!

So I finally got to watch this.

TW: Brief clip of Loki's death scene in IW(19:50-it's like 2 seconds)- A constant repeat of Gamora's death scene in IW which gets boring and annoying really fast- A cringe music edit based on Loki's line "safe passage through the anus" at the end of video

youtube

Ngl I was postponing watching this video, because I thought it might get on my nerves and annoy me a lot, but surprisingly it wasn't like that. Not because I agree with the conclusion of video, mind you. But because it has a detailed and accurate summary about narcissism, npd and different aspects of it. I also enjoyed the analysis of Ego in gotg2. The metaphors and symbolism of that movie is generally overlooked and underrated. Although I have to say, personally I don't think Thanos and Ego are just narcissists. Imo they are both showing traits from The Dark Triad(narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism).

Without further ado, let's talk about what the video says about Loki.

"The most lovable version of Loki, the Loki from Thor Ragnarok is probably the most narcissistic."

YMMV but whether Ragnarok Loki is the most lovable version, is highly debatable and subjective(he is definitely not my fave version of Loki). He is the most ooc Loki in the Thor franchise and Avengers 1. And he is written intentionally to act narcissistic, not because it's in character for Loki or would be consistent with his previous characterization. No, He is written that way because TR according to TW is a reboot of Thor franchise and he meant to "respectfully disrespect" anything that we knew and loved about those movies and that includes characterizations. Specially the reason for Loki acting narcissistic in ruling Asgard, is that it was how TW would saw himself ruling Asgard.

“I thought if I was Loki and I was ruling Asgard, I would write a play about myself and force everyone to go and see it — change the details of the play and get a huge celebrity to play myself.”

Which is not how you write a character, not as a self-insert, specially not when there is established characterization for the character. So I think it's fair to not include a characterization that was intentionally written as a retcon in analyzing Loki's personality.

But even in that movie Loki does not lack self-awareness, empathy or is not motivated by selfishness. For example I disagree that Loki cheering up about Thor being hulk-smashed was out of lack of empathy. As we've seen Thor instantly gets up and continue to fight which shows that he is not hurt and Loki knows that. But when Thor's life is actually in danger, when he is beaten and getting punched by Hulk, Loki clearly shows that he worries for Thor. Or when Loki came back to help Thor in the final battle, he didn't have to do that. He could leave Thor and Asgard but he didn't, even though he knew there was a high possibility that he could die which shows it wasn't an altruistic act for selfish reasons.

During analyzing Loki in the series, the youtuber constantly refers to Loki's history of narcissism using clips of Avengers. Which is not fair, because she completely ignores the context of Avengers which is Loki being mind influenced by the scepter and is under duress. So we have the worst possible version of Loki, not because this is how he would normally act, but because his worst traits are heightened and out of his control. She also ignores anything from the Thor 1&2 so not only the the supposed "history of narcissism" is judged out of context, but also is concluded with ignoring a lot of context from Loki's history. That being said the analysis of whether Loki is a narcissist in the show, is done well.

"Children of narcissists tend to either be pathological pleasers or very cold. They either exhaust themselves in a lifetime of trying to please the unpleasable, or they stonewall everyone they enter an intimate relationship with every time there's a conflict."

I can't believe these lines exist in the video and yet there is not a single mention of Odin as a narcissistic parent and Thor, Loki and Hela who all tried very hard to please their father. And Loki's whole motivation in Thor 1 revolved around proving himself a worthy son to Odin, trying to make him proud and be accepted by him.

"So the funny thing about Loki is we loved Loki the narcissist as long as the word narcissist wasn't trotted out. Because the moment it is trotted out, he has to stop being a narcissist in order to remain likable and then suddenly he's Mr empathy, his behavior is no longer disordered but relatable. He is no longer a narcissist but wrestling with his own narcissism."

Needless to say that I completely disagree with this part. The parts in the show where Loki showed self-awareness, empathy and generally not narcissistic behavior are actually the moments where Loki acts in character and is consistent with his original characterization. He always had those traits and were relatable and understandable.

In conclusion the video is a very good source for understanding narcissism, and the analysis of Ego and Loki in the Loki show are done well. But the conclusion about Loki being a narcissist is without including all the context and the side material, so I don't agree with it. Because if you consider the context, details and subtext in the movies Thor, Avengers and TDW, and Loki's original characterization, the only conclusion is that Loki is not a narcissist.

#odin's family dynamic #narcissism #loki series #loki is a scapegoat #thanos #ego #anti thor ragnarok #anti taika waititi #loki #youtube #alwida10 #messages

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hockeywhy · 4 years ago

Text

caught in the middle (1); m. barzal

SYNOPSIS: For the sake of your friend’s wedding with Tito, you and Mat agree to maintain the facade of still being the happy couple everyone sees you as. But the act comes with its consequences, one more taxing than the other. WARNINGS: language. WORD COUNT: 11.2k A/N: I am so excited for this because it contains some of the tropes I enjoy seeing in fics, and I was dying to also put out some new content as opposed to only reposting my old writing. I wish I wrote this when I was still decent at doing the thing, but I hope that this is still an enjoyable read that makes you look forward to the next part! Title is based off Alexander 23′s Caught in the Middle which is such a good song and I really recommend. Sections in italics represent flashbacks.

PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

“We’re getting married!”

You gasped, bringing both hands to cover the lower half of your face as your jaw dropped at the announcement. It shouldn’t be so surprising – you would’ve bet even your most prized possession that this was bound to happen at some point eventually – but knowing this was actually now a sure thing sent a thrill through you. It didn’t take long for the shock to wear off and in place of it, your expression mirrored that of your best friend’s: the wide grin, the bright eyes and of course, the giggles of sheer excitement as soon as the news sunk in. Elise was glowing and next to her, Tito embodied the idea of what the world’s proudest man would look like.

“Oh my god!” you gasped, and Elise burst into laughter, not hesitating to jump out of her seat at the same time you did so that the two of you could embrace. Among your squeals and giggles, you could faintly make out the sound of hands being clapped, then caught sight of Mat and Tito hugging. Over Elise’s shoulder and over Tito’s, you and Mat exchanged smiles and you couldn’t help the chuckle that left your mouth as soon as he winked at you. “Congratulations!” you said as soon as you broke apart, though the two of you still held hands. Immediately, your gaze fell down to her hand where a ring now rested, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you hadn’t taken notice of it earlier. “Just—when? How? Where? Who else knows?”

“We don’t have a date or venue set yet, but we wanted you and Mat to be the first to know,” Elise informed you as soon as you took your seats again.

“We have a favour to ask from both of you,” Tito supplied. As soon as he said it, you felt Mat’s hand wrap around your own and the two of you exchanged a brief look during which he squeezed your hand gently, before diverting your attentions back to the soon-to-be newlyweds.

Newlyweds. The immensity of the word sent a discrete shiver down your spine.

“I can’t imagine asking this of anyone else: I want you to be my best man,” Tito directed at Mat.

“You shouldn’t even think of asking this of anyone else,” Mat responded immediately, and the two shook hands on it. You couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t as comfortable as they were now, they’d probably hug again, do their typical pats on the back or fist bump as they usually did, but Elise’s head now rested on Tito’s shoulder and Mat’s hand was so warm, so firm atop your own.

“Be my maid of honour, please?” Elise asked. “I can’t think of anyone more suitable than you and Mat as best man and maid of honour. We’ll return the favour of course,” she added playfully.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you warned without hesitating because after all, you had no reason to – and you knew Mat would agree with you.

Although the two of you hadn’t touched on the subject yet, there was an unvoiced knowledge shared between you that eventually, this would also be you. Eventually, Mat would ask you and your heart would grow and your soul would warm, and you would say yes. Yes, yes, yes.

As you all settled down to hear a replay of how Tito popped the question and Elise accepted the ring, Mat’s thumb began caressing the back of your hand. Though the gesture wasn’t a novelty, you couldn’t help but take notice of the way your heart fluttered each time he seemed to linger more on your ring finger. It wasn’t difficult to imagine a ring wrapped around it but neither of you were in a rush: you simply waited for the right time to take your relationship to a point in which it would become a forever thing, fully confident it wasn’t a question of ‘if’ but rather, ‘when’.

This was anything but the right time.

You frown as you cast a glance down at the phone resting on your lap, eyes narrowing a little at the name which brought the display to life for the second time in the space of less than a minute. You click the side button twice, silencing the vibrations of it and from your side, your colleague leans in to whisper to you.

“You can take it if it’s urgent. I’ll fill you in afterwards.”

“Thanks,” you whisper back. “I think it can wait until the meeting wraps up though.”

Luke gives you a well, if you’re sure look as he leaned back in his chair and you flash him a grateful smile.

Still, it is difficult for you to settle comfortably in your seat again and much to your chagrin, you find yourself crossing and uncrossing your legs as if the call had sent some sort of signal to your entire body kickstarting jitteriness you can honestly do without. Not long after you find some comfort and energy to draw yourself back to the present, your phone buzzes again – only once this time, indicating a message.

I’m waiting for you in the lobby.

Fuck, you curse inwardly, locking the phone in frustration. As quietly as you can, you gather your notebook and work tablet then lean in towards Luke who met you halfway. “Have to run but let me know if I miss anything important.”

“At the current rate, I wouldn’t count much on it but will do anyway,” he states as quietly as he can and the two of you exchange sly, conspiratorial smiles before you excuse yourself quickly and very quietly while making a swift exit.

Internally, a string of curses follow without a break in between, and you have to physically bite down on your lip out of sheer fear one might unconsciously slip out. If anyone would be in your shoes, though, they wouldn’t blame you for it. You are the type of person to stick closely to any plans and agreements made, so the fact that he just chose to turn up so unexpectedly doesn’t sit right with you. Not anymore, that is. Besides, you had both agreed to do this after your workday ended as opposed to midday and definitely not in this place. Now, you have to brace yourself for coping with a foul mood on top of whatever else the rest of the day would throw at you.

“You’ve got a visitor,” Rachel announces quietly in a sing-song voice from behind the reception desk as you approach. She doesn’t bother masking the giddiness in her tone and you struggle to work up as genuine of a smile as you can when she nods her head towards the waiting area.

“Thanks, Rach.”

“Bet he must be so happy your redeployment to the Baltimore offices was cut short so quickly,” she coos.

“Sure is. We’re still on for tonight?” you ask quickly in an attempt to drive attention away from the subject before she can try to lead into it too far for your own comfort at the moment.

Rachel’s smile falters a little, her expression somewhat quizzical. “Don’t you want to postpone so you could spend some time with him? You only just got back yesterday, after all.”

You swallow uncomfortably before shrugging. “We’ve got plenty of time to do that. So tonight, okay? I’ll catch you later.”

“Your call. See you then, Y/N!”

You only had just a split second to brace yourself for what is ahead of you, so you draw in a breath then slowly exhale it as discreetly as you can while cutting your way across the lobby. Since agreeing to this meeting, you prepared yourself as best as you could, imagining every single scenario and devising the appropriate plan for it: from the way you presented yourself to what you said, you had a mental plan for everything including a few backups just in case. The only thing you hadn’t factored in, apparently, was how little was under your control and you hated that. Each step you take made you feel less and less prepared for what is ahead, and the thought rattles you. If you were swift enough on your feet, you could just about make a quick turn and dip into the hallway leading to the visitor restrooms. All you need is just a few more seconds. A little alone time for you to run over your lines in your head.

Except—

Mat looks up at the same time you take a step sideways, ready to bolt towards temporary safety. His eyebrows rise a little as if surprised by the sight of you, but you refuse to appear outwardly deflated by the turn of events. Instead, you square your shoulders, tip your head back a little and arch an eyebrow. You can do this. You note he is dressed casually, and his hair is pushed back underneath a black cap.

Unless there was a change in schedule, Thursdays were scrimmage days.

Your jaw clenches ever so slightly as you recall that with so much ease. Then again, you basically built up a collection of information that was practically helpful or useful to exactly no one over the course of the past few years. It’ll probably take just as much or maybe more to replace that with something different, so you try cutting yourself some slack whenever you are willing to.

“I thought we agreed on five thirty,” you state coolly, pitching your voice at just the right tone to also express surprise.

Mat pushes up from the armchair, returning whatever magazine he’d picked up back on the nearby glass table. “Sorry, I tried calling earlier this morning to ask if we can reschedule but it went straight to voicemail.”

Oh. You mentally curse yourself for not charging your phone as soon as you made it home from the airport the previous night or bothering to check the voicemail message you’d been notified of once it did begin charging earlier this morning at your desk.

“They rescheduled the viewing of the new arena for this evening, and I was in the area, so I thought I’ll drop by just in case,” Mat continues, throwing a cursory glance around the place though to you, it seemed more like a way of having a break from the eye contact. You don’t complain; you welcome that.

You open your mouth, ready to berate his poor timing but even you could admit you carry some fault here too. Only a little. You bite down lightly on the tip of your tongue, before nodding towards the seats though you didn’t wait for Mat; you sit, deciding he could make up his own mind if he wanted to follow or not.

“How was Baltimore?” he asks after a few moments of awkward silence while settling in the same armchair he previously occupied.

“Mat,” you say, hoping it comes across as more of a warning than a plea. You can’t deal with small talk and a part of you thinks that’d make the entire deal even more difficult to go through with. He presses his lips together into a thin line and you take that as your sign to continue. “Elise told me she’d like us to be at the venue a day in advance of the rehearsal dinner if we can. I’ve already arranged my leave for that, so it’s not a problem for me. I’m planning on making my way there sometime tomorrow afternoon.”

“We can go together then. I can pick you up after work.”

“There’s no need—”

“Y/N.” The sharpness of his tone catches you off guard and you can swear Mat was equally surprised by that, though only for the briefest of moments. He slides forward a little in the seat almost as if he is more than ready to leave but Mat has never been one to back down so easily and you doubt any of that changed during the course of the past three months or so. “You were the one who insisted we go through with this and I’m trying. I really am, but you’re not giving me anything to work with. So please. Let’s just put everything to the side, do what we need to do and then it’s done.”

Done. Like it is a task, like it is something you needed to cross off a to-do list, scrunch it up then trash it.

The finality of the word is so heavy that it feels as if it had managed to knock out all the air in your lungs. You and Mat were running headfirst towards a fork in the road, and deep down you knew that was truly it. If until now the two of you have been dancing around each other, playing pretend as if you were kids living in a world of fantasy, you know that eventually, you have to let light shine on the truth: whatever lay ahead, you and Mat could no longer walk the same paths. It is just a matter of admitting it not only to yourselves, but also to the people you were lying to.

Lying for, you prefer.

Defeated, you slump in your own seat a little, legs crossing and fingers tapping lightly against the back of your notebook. “Be at my place by two. I’ll have everything that I need ready the night before so we won’t need to wait around.” A pause, and then, “how’s Tito?”

Mat lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug. “Excited. Nervous. It’s the only thing he talks about in the locker, outside of it, on ice and off ice. How’s Elise?”

“Same deal with her. I never knew there were so many shades of blue before, but I’ve been proven wrong before.”

A pause follows that could easily be attributed to the group of people rushing into the building and allowing noise from the street outside to filter in while the doors were kept open, but you can tell there is more to it than that if you are to go by the shift in Mat’s expression. His expression changes and you find you can’t quite read into it or guess what could be going on through his head. You try not to focus much on the little voice inside your mind that was bothered by it but find it takes a considerable amount of effort to do so. Force of habit, you conclude.

“You don’t say,” Mat finally responds. There is a hint of accusation in his tone. Or regret. Maybe both.

Your lips press together firmly, a light frown forming on your face but chose to let that slide. Not only is the lobby of your workplace the least suitable place to have an argument about the two of you, but you find that even those short moments of seeing Mat face to face months after you called it quits appears to take a toll on you. You feel tired, worn out and willing to be the first one to back down for once.

It is cruel irony that a big red neon EXIT sign is visible from the corner of your eye.

You release a quiet, long sigh then stand up from the seat. “Well, I guess we’re done here? I do have another meeting to prepare for, so…” You trail off, already backing away a few steps.

Mat opens his mouth as if ready to say something else but promptly presses his lips together, deciding against it. He gives a swift nod of his head then stands up. It’s then you notice the two Styrofoam cups in front of him and the neon EXIT sign imprinted in your mind starts flashing temptingly at you. Mat is a step ahead. He holds out one of the cups towards you and you are ready to tell him off for it, but he cut in.

“Thought I wouldn’t drop by empty handed.” When you don’t make a move to accept it, his eyes briefly peek behind you. “Rachel’s all eyes this way, by the way,” he informs you and a brief glance over your shoulder confirms Mat hasn’t been lying.

As soon as you turn to look towards the reception desk, Rachel grins, waves quickly at you then turns back to her computer screen. Begrudgingly, you accept the cup of coffee and force a tight smile.

“See you soon,” you say by way of greeting and didn’t wait to hear a response from Mat.

It isn’t until you scan your pass to cross the security barriers and make a turn out of sight that you take a sip from the drink and almost immediately wish you didn’t. It’s your order to a T. The two of you even brought a coffee machine that would let you replicate it on days when you didn’t feel like leaving the comforts of your apartment, especially days when Mat didn’t need to get up early for practices or scrimmages or evening games. It stayed with Mat when you left and the memory left a bitter taste in your mouth, despite the gentle sweetness of the beverage.

Without thinking twice, you throw the cup in the nearest trash can.

As soon as your order is set on the table, you ignore the basket of fries and reach straight for your glass to take a long sip from the straw, letting out a content sigh as soon as you felt satiated enough.

“Long day,” you state in response to Rachel’s raised eyebrows but she seems to accept that by raising her own glass. You clink yours against hers, take a smaller sip then set it back down on the table. “What time do you think you’ll make it over to the hotel?”

“Well, I was thinking of trying to get there by midday on the day of the rehearsal dinner but it’s starting to look more like late afternoon. I’m…” She trails off, and you can just about pick up on her hesitation and the way her gaze shifts over to the side momentarily as if avoiding something or considering whether to continue that. You move in your seat, peeling your back away from the plush backrest to lean in a little closer.

“You’re…” you trail off, voice peaking just a little into a question in an attempt to prompt her to continue.

Rachel takes a deep breath in, shoulders visibly drooping and when she looked back at you, she did so with a look that could only reflect…shame? Embarrassment?

“Luke and I are sort of thinking of coming along together.” At the sight of your widened eyes, she quickly adds, “just as friends! We’re still working out through a few things and we’re taking it slow. As in, much, much slower than the first time around.”

“No way! That’s… Rach, that’s so good. I’m happy for you both, seriously.”

You find that you truly believed that, though it wasn’t a surprise to you. You had introduced Rachel to Luke while she visited you in Baltimore and at the time, he worked with you there also. Initially, you didn’t think much of it - you simply invited her to come along to a few after work drinks and the two kicked it off easily that night. Very easily apparently, because as the night started coming to an end, Rachel prompted you to go ahead without her. Ready to say you weren’t going to leave her own her own, you shortly found out exactly why: you watched with plenty of amusement and fascination as she and Luke climbed into a taxi together and whizzed off to his place, undoubtedly. That was pretty much their start and continuation. Her visits to Baltimore were more frequent and though you were seeing her often enough, it definitely wasn’t as much as Luke saw of her. And you were fine with that. They fit almost perfectly and it only took a few more meetings for them to label themselves as a couple.

Things began crumbling as soon as Luke had moved to the New York office just a few weeks before your own return. While he seemed fine with the idea of Rachel working in the same place, that wasn’t also her take on things.

“It’s weird,” she told you through the phone. “It just… It’s so weird. I’d be seeing him at my place or his and in the office? No thanks. That’s way too much for me, you know?”

It made sense, of course, and though you rooted for them, you didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t comfortable with. Yet, there was a tremble to her voice, a sort of uncertainty that made you think otherwise. It wasn’t that Rachel didn’t have any feelings for him - maybe she was simply shocked to see him walk through those glass doors one morning to pick up his brand new ID and claim what would soon become his permanent desk across from yours.

“Thanks,” she tells you, pulling you back into the present. “But like I said, slow and easy does it. We’ve been talking more and that makes a huge difference.”

“For sure. If communication isn’t the backbone of a relationship, I don’t know what is,” you agree and wasn’t that ironic? You’re hardly in the position of giving any relationship advice at all or saying what is good for one and what isn’t. Not anymore. Not when your own had fallen apart.

Rachel grins. “You’d know. You and Mat have been together for… how long now?”

You should’ve seen it coming a mile away. You swallow uncomfortably, take another sip of your drink and take a few fries just to buy yourself a little more time. “Maybe four years? Don’t really keep track of that anymore,” you said as casually as you could muster, lifting your shoulders in a shrug.

“I think I’d stop doing that eventually too at the rate you two are going. Honestly, I would’ve bet anything you would’ve been the first to tie the knot. Actually, thinking about it,” she says, clicking her fingers in recollection, “Elise said the same thing to me the other day when we caught up on the phone. She went—“

You don’t really register her words. There is a low ringing in your ears and an uncomfortable draft sweeps in the locale as the entrance door somewhere behind you is being kept open, no doubt a large group making their way in; it sends shivers down your body, but really, you are pretty sure you can’t only attribute them to a brief gust of wind. After all, your sweater is keeping you sufficiently cosy and warm. In front of you, Rachel continues praising your relationship with Mat, talking about how anyone took a look at you both and would say, whatever they have going, I want it too and you are trying so, so hard to block out as much as you can of it. You can stop her, of course; distract her with whatever random topic and you know she’d go with it but your jaw is locked in place, teeth clenched uncomfortably. You blame that and the way your nails dig into the palms of your hands on the sting behind your eyes and the sudden heaviness weighting down on your chest.

It isn’t so much the pain of your relationship ending that was rendering you in a state of daze, but the shame of what you and Mat agreed to do: pretend the two of you were still the happy couple Elise, Tito and everyone else thought of you as just to not spoil whatever luck they thought you’d be passing on to them by being their main witnesses. And then, once the event passes and they would return to New York from the honeymoon you and Mat would soon gift to them on their wedding day, you’d tell them the truth. Or part of it anyway. Definitely no mentions that the two of you were childish enough to play pretend; just a simple, clean break timed just perfectly with your request to be permanently redeployed elsewhere. Preferably, as far from New York City as possible so that you no longer have to walk the streets you once both did or yearn to once again visit that perfect pie place the two of you once dubbed your own.

“We’re not together anymore.”

The words stumble out of your mouth in a desperate now or never manner. Despite the anxiousness that came with the act, you find relief in it also. It feels freeing to be able to admit the truth to someone that isn’t only yourself though perhaps you should’ve thought of this more carefully: the idea of now needing to come fully clean to Rachel is somewhat daunting, mostly because of what she might say in response to the front you and Mat are trying to uphold. But for the first time in what feels like too long, you no longer feel like a fraud; like a person lying to everyone around them.

“Wait.” Rachel frowns, and it was obvious she doesn’t quite know what to do with that information or how to best process it. Her head tilts a little, palm idly rubbing against the side of her neck so you take the initiative to come across as unbothered by this as possible by leaning into the seat, legs crossing as you fiddled with the drink’s straw. “What? I’m confused. Didn’t Mat just drop by earlier? You two seemed okay. He was…fine when he came in. We didn’t talk much, sure, but he was all smiley and just…normal.”

You laugh quietly and shortly. “It’s been a while now. Maybe two or three weeks before I left for Baltimore, I think. It’d be pretty worrying if he was still hung up about it. After all, we both agreed on it. And this,” you add, a little more disheartened and embarrassed. “This…thing we’re doing. We promised Tito and Elise we’ll be there for them on their big day and we will. But they had this… I guess, idea of us being an ideal couple. Whatever that is,” you continue more quietly and with a roll of your eyes. “He wanted to tell Tito, but I didn’t want to spoil Elise’s day, you know? So he agreed. Took some convincing because it feels so… Gosh, it sounds so stupid, doesn’t it? Pretending we’re still together just to spread some fake cheer around.”

“Oh, honey…” Rachel whispers and you read the sympathy in her voice. Not that she makes it particularly difficult to take note of. “But… I thought everything was okay. Actually, way more than okay. Perfect, even. What…uh—“ She trailed off awkwardly, but you could easily fill in that gap.

What happened?

You bring the beverage to your mouth, this time drinking from the glass directly as opposed to using the straw. The mixer stings your throat this time around but the small ice cube you take into your mouth numbs it away pretty quickly. Slowly, you chew it to small pieces and speak only when you finish it.

“I thought long and hard about this the first few weeks after we called it quits,” you admit. “We always talked about what bothered us or if there was something on our mind, but at one point we just… We stopped wanting to compromise. When I was put forward for Baltimore, it was going to be a permanent thing. Mat was happy, sure, but I could tell he wasn’t being entirely honest with me, you know? When I called him out on it, he asked me well what about us? And I said we’d be fine. Baltimore isn’t a different continent. It’s not even a different timezone. He could come over when he had free time and if he didn’t, I’d always spend weekends in New York anyway. It’s Baltimore, Rach. Not fucking San Francisco or whatever. Eventually, he told me exactly what was on his mind: he couldn’t do long distance. Not even for a short period of time while I figured out if Baltimore is really what I wanted. Isn’t it a bit hypocritical, though?” You question, but it’s clear Rachel feels a bit awkward about giving her take on it right now, so you make it easier for her by responding to your own question. “I felt lonely too when he was on the road. I was worried he’d find someone different, someone much better while away. He never gave me a reason to doubt him, but a small part of me still thought what if. This happened right before he was on the road again, actually. We didn’t call, barely even texted those weeks and then when he returned, we decided it’d be best to break up. Didn’t take us a long discussion to get to that conclusion because at that point, it just… I don’t know. It felt like we didn’t have much to say to each other.”

Rachel presses her lips together, the frown still on her face and hesitantly, she asks, “who said it first?”

“I did,” you respond without hesitating. “He wanted a break while we work it all out but come on, Rach, a break? Look me in the eyes and tell me people really believe in breaks and they come back to each other as if nothing happened.”

“I mean…” she trails off, pointing at herself by way of explanation. “Look at me and Luke, I guess.”

You shake your head. “Nope. Not the same thing, trust me. This was for the best, Rach. It’s much neater to call it quits. That way, neither of us will feel obliged to hold back if life puts something different ahead of us.” You pause for a moment, teeth biting into your lower lip. “They said they’ll always have me back there if I decide on it, so who knows. Once I wrap up the project their called me back for, I might just take them up on it. Not quite a promotion, but it’ll be a good sidestep and maybe a change of scenery is what I need.”

“And do you think it’s good? What the two of you are doing right now?” Rachel questions, not at all deterred by your weak attempt at trying to divert conversation to a more work related topic. “And I don’t mean it just for Elise and Tito’s wedding, but for you and Mat generally speaking. I mean… the two of you have been together for a pretty long time. Doesn’t it… Isn’t it odd?”

“It’s not normal, that’s for sure,” you confirm. “But it’d be weirder for everyone if we were to tell them we’re no longer together given we’ve been asked to do what we need to do. Rach, promise me this stays between us, okay? Promise. I know how it sounds, I know how it’ll look but trust me on this, okay?”

She fixes you with a sceptical stare, a look that holds yet more questions than certainty but eventually, she nods her head and relief washes over you at the gesture. “I’m sorry it happened, Y/N,” she offers, voice warm and sympathetic as she places a hand on the table palm up. “And I’m sorry you went through it alone.”

You smile softly and reach for it, returning the squeeze she gives you. There is comfort in the gesture, comfort in her words and you find yourself rooting for it, so grateful to have received it. “The worst part is over, but thank you, Rachel. “It means a lot.”

“Feel like carpooling with Luke and I?”

“I’m good,” you assure as you both relax back into your seats. “Elise wants us there the day before the rehearsal. I guess just to have some familiar faces around that aren’t just wedding planners, so Mat and I agreed to go together tomorrow. Promise I won’t lose my shit if our song plays on the radio,” you add jokingly and find yourself laughing along with Rachel.

“What song’s that?”

Too many, you think, although one in particular stands out to you. “Brett Young’s In Case You Didn’t Know.”

A tray containing an assortment of dishes is set on the table and shortly after, an ice cold pitch of sangria accompanies that. Eager to cool down, you reach for one of the empty glasses to pour yourself a drink but Mat’s quicker. He takes them both, filling your glass first before his own. You laugh to yourself and Mat grins at that, briefly looking towards you as he fills his glass. You’re about to take a sip, eager to both quench your thirst and cool down but Mat takes the initiative of initiating a toast by raising his glass a little, elbow resting on the table.

“What’re we toasting for tonight?” You ask, imitating his pose by leaning forward a little. “To our first holiday together? To how perfect the weather’s been so far? To how I mastered paddle boarding way before you did?”

Mat laughs, lowering his head as he did so but when he looked back up at you, he clinked his glass against yours and held it there. “To all of that. To one of the many, many holidays we’ll have together. To this moment right here, to us, to you.” He pauses and the strobe lights of the bar switch from dark blue to hot pink, and the way Mat stares at you in this moment makes your heart race inexplicably. “To how much I love you.”

He takes your breath away. Draws it right out of your lungs and you feel heady. It’s the first summer with Mat, the first I love you from him and it suddenly feels as if this bar is too small for the both of you. You love him, and he loves you too and the only thing you could imagine doing is jumping in his arms but there’s a table between you and sangria topped wine glasses in your hands, and he’s wearing a pristine white shirt that looks incredible against his tanned skinned and there’s a lot of people around (the majority significantly older than both your age and Mat’s combined) so you simply grin and carefully lean forward more, pressing a kiss to his mouth.

“I love you,” you murmur against his lips and even if your voice is low compared to the loud, cheesy country music blasting through hidden stereos, you know Mat catches on to that.

“I love you,” he says right back and before you pull away, he bumps his nose against yours gently, making you giggle.

You both take a sip of your drinks and you smack your lips together, content with the turn of the night.

You and Mat had been dating for a few months, but this was the first time the two of you will spend back to back nights and days together without needing to rush somewhere. Of course, a part of you was anxious about it - while it was easy to spend a few hours together now and then, maybe even the odd night together, it was entirely different being together pretty much all the time. There were habits and quirks you each had that might get in the way, but your worries were soon put to rest. You and Mat had wonderful chemistry together, easily able to spend your time together but also still enjoy each other’s company while doing separate activities. You didn’t want to rush into things and you made no move to do so, but it was ever so easy to imagine what living with Mat would be like. And sure, you were well aware of the fact that it wouldn’t always be sunshine and rainbows; the two of you would eventually transition out of this honeymoon-type period of your relationship, but something told you life would Mat would never bore you. It’d never make you wish for anything different.

“Give me a second,” Mat says and before you could ask him what he meant, he’s out of his seat and you follow him across the bar, a little confused.

He makes his way past the bar, past the pool tables and stops in front of what is undoubtedly a jukebox. Curious, you arch an eyebrow and watch as he fiddles with finding the right amount of change before inserting the coins in the slot. It takes him a while before he finds whatever song it is he wants and it takes enough time for him to make it back to your table before the jukebox and sound system registers the request. You don’t recognise the first few notes at all, much less the accompanying guitar strings but you don’t have time to search your memory for a title.

Mat stops by your side, holding a hand out to you. “Dance with me.” It’s more statement than question and under any circumstances, you may have felt a little awkward about doing this, but it’s the heat of the moment and your giddiness that pushes you to your feet, hand in Mat’s.

The two of you are beaten to an emptier area in the establishment by two other much older couples that were closer to it anyway, and you find that gives you a bit more of a boost also. Mat pulls you to him, wrapping one arm around your waist while holding on to your free hand while you hold on to his shoulder with the other. Your fingers lightly clench and unclench the soft material of his shirt, lowering your head a little and you smile against the back of your hand. It’s so painfully cheesy and there’s nowhere near enough other people dancing along to the song but you love it much more than you thought you ever would.

“Know what I’d invest all my money into?” He asks you suddenly.

You pull back a little, still swaying along with the song. “Cryptocurrency seems like a safe bet right now.”

Mat laughs, that big hearty laugh of his that makes your smile wider and when it passes, he presses a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Well, I’m glad one of us has a good head on their shoulders, but no.” He shakes his head, then laughs again, shorter and quieter as if recalling your response. “A time machine. I want to stop time right here and right now so that we can be as we are for a little while longer.”

“Cheesy,” you joke, despite the warmth coursing across your entire body and the jelly-like feeling forming in your knees. “But perfectly understandable.”

“Eventually, we wouldn’t need it, but it’d be nice to have one for tonight.”

“Eventually? How so?” You question, then narrow your eyes a little, the gesture playful. “You plan on getting bored of me and breaking up?”

“What!” He exclaims and pulls you in just that much closer. He lets go of your hand only so he could bring his to your chin, tipping your head back a little. “Never,” kiss, “say that,” kiss, “again.” The final kiss you share with him is a little longer and you take the liberty of bringing your hand to his chest, palm pressing against it to feel the thump of his heart against his ribcage momentarily. Then, slowly, you graze the tips of your nails along his exposed collarbone and peck his lips once more before pulling away. It’s then that the song’s name and artist comes to your mind, almost as an afterthought. From hidden speakers, Brett Young declares I couldn’t live life without you and Mat gives you a pointed stare. “Damn, he said it before I could.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” you assure him. “Either way, I think I prefer hearing it from you, Barzal.”

“I’m pretty sure I couldn’t live without you,” he recites and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. He sways you both in a more exaggerated manner that makes you cling to him more out of habit than necessity. You’ve known you’d trust Mat with anything, but each day, he seems to do something that makes that thought solidify more and more in your mind. The comfort and safety that brings wraps around you like a warm blanket.

Be it the hot weather, the somewhat stifling interior of the bar, the sips of sangria on an empty stomach, the euphoria of the moment or all things combined, you nod quickly. And from somewhere in the depths of your mind, the very bottom of your heart, you respond with, “I can get used to this day after day. So don’t let me go, baby.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispers, tone full of care and love and warmth. He gives you his promise without hesitation and you know it’s bound to stick.

Your phone buzzes once.

I’m downstairs. Need help with your bags?

You push up from the comfort of your couch and make one last round of your apartment to make sure you had everything you definitely needed from where it was placed.

I’m good. Will be down in a minute, you text back but don’t pocket your phone right away. Instead, you stare at the screen for a little while longer, half tempted to scroll through the thread of messages. They’d provide a stark timeline of when things started going wrong and you would probably be able to see exactly how things changed between the two of you from the moment you suggested a mere break wouldn’t do it. But doing that would be like breaking a streak you had going for sufficient time to earn a pat on your back. The journey of getting to a point where you were sufficiently okay with being in Mat’s presence without any other company was a long one and the last thing you needed was to recall how it once was.

You and Mat started out as friends after Elise introduced the two of you just a short while before he started his professional career with the Islanders. She talked about how the two of them met in school and how great of a guy he was; real down to earth, funny and incredibly ambitious - traits she also assigned to you, and therefore thought the two of you would get along great. She wasn’t wrong about it. You knew a little about hockey, going to games every now and then mostly whenever Elise dragged you along but you found that Mat made the game more enjoyable. He explained it to you in a manner that didn’t make you feel belittled or as if it should be something you already knew of, and didn’t mind explaining some things more than once. On the other hand, you introduced him to your own hobbies and the little world you created for yourself in a city as big and busy as New York. You showed him the more lowkey but homely establishments, including your favourite pizza place that - unbeknown to you at the time - would become yours and his, and even took him to a few student bars where you regularly beat him at pool while he showed off at darts. Occasionally, it felt weird to watch him unwind in such…normal places and ways while on other days, he shone on ice and was easily one of the best rookies emerging from one of the country’s most well known sports leagues. Yet despite that, you found that athlete Mat wasn’t all that different from Mat the person.

He never put a front and his genuine manner was refreshing to you, particularly during a time when you were still a college student and a good portion of the guys around were textbook frat boys. Being around Mat was comfortable and safe. You didn’t feel the need to speak a certain way or be a different person, and retrospectively, the way you felt towards him developed almost organically. You felt yourself gravitating towards him and were pleasantly surprised by the moments when he’d seek you out first. A day off here and a day off there until eventually, you found yourself spending much of your free time with him and vice-versa.

Falling in love with Mat was easy. Being without Mat was difficult. But, thankfully, not impossible apparently.

Convinced you packed everything you needed, made your way out with a duffle bag on your shoulder and a suitcase at your heels.

True to his word, Mat was parked in front of your place and as soon as you pushed open the building’s door, he looked up from his phone and made his way over to you. The last thing you needed was to make the journey any more awkward or difficult for the both of you, so you didn’t argue when he took the bags from you to stow them away in the trunk.

“Are you going across the country?” You ask, peeking into the trunk while he plays Tetris with the bags.

“What?” He questions, evidently distracted by the task at hand but straightens up when you delicately place a hand on his arm, pushing him to the side a little.

“You’d think you’re going across the country for like, two or three weeks rather than a couple of days,” you repeat. “Maybe put that smaller bag sideways? That might let the bigger suitcase fit.”

He follows your guidance and sure enough, that does the trick: the suitcases fit perfectly in the trunk and you grin to yourself, triumphant.

Mat steps back, closing the trunk and brushes his hands together. “Thanks,” he says and you nod, heading towards your seat in the front. He follows you inside just as you click in your seatbelt. “I don’t think it’ll take us more than two or three hours to get there if traffic’s as good as it was when I checked it a little while earlier. Got everything?”

“Everything important that is. Everything else, I’ll just worry about and pull my hair out when we get there,” you tell him and you can’t help feeling proud for being able to keep conversation light and as normal as you can.

After all, you’ve known life before Mat and you’re rediscovering it after him too.

Mat laughs ever so quiet, and from the corner of your eye, you catch him brushing his hand across his mouth though he’s a few seconds too slow in trying to mask his smile.

“I think I’ll need to fill up soon, but let me know if there’s anywhere else you want to stop along the way,” he tells you while pulling out of the parking spot.

You nod even if he probably might not see it and take the liberty to scroll through radio stations. Mat doesn’t seem to be against it, so you continue switching to them until, a little frustrating that nothing seems to work for you, you connect your phone to the car and play one of your playlists. A mix of upbeat pop and an assortment of viral tracks fill in the silence for a while, and the act of singing along in your head takes your mind away from how it almost feels as if you’re sitting on needles. It takes a conscious effort on your behalf to remind yourself to loosen your shoulders and stop fiddling too much with your hands, and you’re glad Mat seems to be plenty preoccupied with driving. Once upon a time, he would’ve immediately picked up on even the most mild of your discomforts and tried to do anything he could to alleviate them. You don’t know how much, if at all, Mat changed during the time you spent apart but you want to think that you no longer wear your heart on your sleeve as much and your emotions are much more guarded, especially in his presence.

Apparently, though, there’s only so much he can take with silence filled in by music because once he’s off busier streets, he leans in his seat more comfortably and you can tell he very briefly turns his head towards you. “Think they’ll like their wedding gift?”

You direct your gaze away from the flashing scenery outside to Mat. “Absolutely. Who wouldn’t like it? Trust me when I say Bali’s been a place Elise always wanted to visit and I can’t think of a better time than now,” you assure him.

“If they don’t, it’s on you,” he says and it takes you a beat longer to realise he’s just joking so you huff out a laugh, relaxing back in the seat.

“If they don’t, they can give one of the tickets to me and I’ll happily go there.” You cast a glare out at the scenery ahead, eyes narrowing upwards towards the overcast sky. “I don’t think summer will ever come at this rate. I’m starting to hate it here.”

“Doubt Baltimore was any better,” Mat points out.

“Hardly,” you sigh. “Maybe I’ll ask them to send me to Miami instead. That’d be much better.”

Mat clears his throat quickly, shifting a little. “So, are you planning on going back to Baltimore or... Why are you back?” You catch sight of the frown forming on his face, and he quickly shakes his head as if trying to rid the hint of accusation from his voice. “That sounded wrong, sorry. But just genuinely curious. I thought a permanent move was on the table?”

“It was. Still is, but they needed me back here to wrap up a project. It was a pretty bad move on their behalf to send me there before we had that wrapped up nice and neat, bow and all, but I guess…” You trail off, shrugging a shoulder. “Guess we’ll see what’s next after that. They do want me back there, though. It just depends how long it takes for things here to fall into place.”

“Fair enough.” Another pause, another moment for him to press his lips together in silent deliberation. He did that often, and you wonder if that remains a habit still. “Was it a promotion? I forgot, sorry.”

“All good,” you assure, brushing off the apology. “Not a promotion per se, but a sidestep with just a slightly bigger paycheck. The office there is a bit smaller than the New York one so maybe there’s a higher chance of getting promoted sooner, but I don’t want to jump the gun on that yet. How did things work out for you guys this season?”

The Islanders had a good season, making the playoffs but fell just short of making the semi-finals, you knew that. After all, you hadn’t removed the Islanders game and news alerts from your phone and you put that on your laziness. You wouldn’t shy away from admitting to him you still followed the team’s progression, but you preferred not to.

“Could’ve been better but there’s lots to learn from it,” Mat tells you and there’s a trace of excitement and determination in his voice. “Next season will be even better, I guarantee.”

It’s a staple Mat response, one he always gave if he felt a game didn’t end in their favour or he didn’t do as much as he thought he should have. Sometimes, it took him some time to accept it. Usually, it came to him after pushing himself in training, after going that extra step in the gym, after re-watching highlights or coach videos and always - always, you’d assure him that it takes a team to move forward, not a single person. Always, he’d kiss you and tell you he loves you and always, you’d spend those moments wrapped up in each other’s arms, more often than not with Mat’s head resting against your chest and your leg slung around his hip.

“Plenty of time to lift that cup, Barzal,” you assure him. “Sure, the sooner the better but there’s always a right time for everything.”

“I hope so,” he agrees pensively, and lingers on that thought.

You let him to it, directing your attention back to the view outside and only now and then picking up your phone either to switch songs or browse through a few applications. A part of you feels almost obliged to try and push for conversation but you avoid doing so. The last thing you need is to make it painfully awkward for the two of you and you figure Mat could always do that himself if he feels like it. So, you let your mind wander to better things - to the upcoming rehearsal and the wedding itself, to how good Elise will look and how Tito will be so proud to watch her walk the aisle towards him. You imagine their reaction to the gift you and Mat contributed towards and smiled to yourself, knowing it was a perfect pick for them both.

You don’t think about telling Elise you and Mat had lied to them. You don’t think about passing this hurdle - the final one before you two will become strangers to one another. You don’t think about how the next time you might both see each other again, you’ll both have such different lives that for a brief moment, the surprise of it will knock the air out of your lungs before you remember: that’s him without me, and this is me without him. And you won’t be the first or the last people to break up, but a part of you is certain what the two of you had was unique and could’ve been grand. So much grander.

You become more alert to your surroundings when he starts slowing the car and you notice you’re pulling up into a gas station. As much as space allows you, you stretch out a little and Mat stops right by one of the pumps.

“Want something for the road?” You ask him, unplugging your phone and taking your card from your bag.

“Hold on, I’ll come with you,” Mat tells you and it doesn’t take long for the refill to happen before you both walk into the station’s store, beelining for the snack aisles even if you have only two hours or so until you reach your destination.

“Oh gosh, those are going to be a nightmare to clean up if you spill any in the car,” you groan quietly as he browses through the variety of Nerds flavours.

“But they’re so good though,” he shoots back and flashes a smile that is nothing short of sly when he picks up two boxes instead of one.

“Yeah, until the flavour runs out literally two seconds after you put them in your mouth. I mean, enjoy that but I’m different,” you boast and pick up a bag of sour candy.

“You just like obliterating your taste buds.”

He’s not wrong. Sour candy and spicy foods are your guilty pleasures, and have been for the longest time. You don’t try to look into how easily he recalls that because, you tell yourself, there’s nothing to look into. It’s a mere fact that anyone who knows you would easily recite.

“You’re wrong and you know it, but admitting that is difficult so it’s fine, Barzal. No hard feelings,” you throw back, snickering as you head over to the fridges for a bottle of cold water. Instinctively, you grab another for him and instinctively, he takes your candy and the water to pay for them but you still tag along with him in the queue.

“No shot. I like some spice but to the point where I literally can’t taste anything else? Hey, remember that one time when you made something… Can’t remember what it was but it was so…” He purses his lips and you laugh because yes, yes you remember it so clearly.

“So good you ended up crying over it?” You offer.

“More like, I wasn’t crying but it was so fucking spicy, Y/N, holy.”

“You survived though, didn’t you?”

“I only did because there isn’t a thing you do I don’t like,” he says and then, seems to catch himself but a second too late. “Didn’t like,” he corrects quietly but the damage is done.

You swallow uncomfortably, directing your gaze away from him but don’t hesitate to nod towards the outside. “I’ll head over to the car. I’ll text Elise to tell her we’re close.”

“Y/N—“

But you’re already taking steps towards the exit and out of ear shot, making a beeline for the car. Your heart thumps rapidly and uncomfortable in your chest and find that pressing a palm to your left side doesn’t make it any better. You know it’s an innocent mistake and there are some habits that die hard, but the way he phrased it triggered your fight or flight instinct instantaneously and despite yourself, you leaned towards the latter. You enter the car and take the time to compose yourself as much as you could. The last thing you need is to have a conversation with Mat about this because you didn’t want to have it - it shouldn’t happen for the sake of avoiding making the situation even more uncomfortable. It was an innocent slip up, no doubt, and you should’ve braced yourself to speak of Mat in present tense as opposed to past tense in the presence of others but it comes to you harder than imagined.

It’s odd how you both once knew so much about each other, everything even, and now the two of you are reduced to dancing around all that and making conscious efforts to keep your conversations as short and banal as possible.

You try and busy yourself with formulating a message to Ellie, one that’s long enough to try and make you seem as busy as possible by the time Mat returns to the car, but every line you wrote, every mini paragraph going into dull details about the trip and where you guys currently are seemed like an overthrow. So, you delete that also and simply text her an OTW just as Mat sets the sweets on the centre console and the bottles in the cup holders.

He doesn’t start the engine immediately and your mood quickly switches to frustration. Sure, you hadn’t handled it in the best way possible but trying to have a conversation about it wouldn’t make it any better. Or at least, it’s just something you didn’t want to have to think about for the remainder of the journey.

But he does just that, because that is what Mat always did: he talked with you.

“I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” he begins, “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. It’s force of habit more than anything else.”

“It’s whatever, Mat, so just move past it. I did, simple as that,” you tell him neutrally.

There’s something in that response he must have not liked because you pick up on his small huff and shortly after, the car starts and you’re both on the road again. This time, with silence between you and an atmosphere so heavy it makes you wish you weren’t speeding down an Interstate just so you could open the window and let some of the air in.

The hotel the wedding will be held at lies in front of you, sprawling and secluded and perfect for an event like this. Tito is already at the entrance and when he spots Mat’s car, he waves quickly while Mat quickly flashes the headlights before pulling into an available parking spot.

“There they are!” Tito says by way of greeting and you walk right into his outstretched arms, hugging him. “Can’t believe so much time passed since we last saw each other. What is it, two months? Three?”

“Three,” you confirm once you pull away so that Mat could hug him also. “It’s good to see you too. Where’s Elise?”

“She wanted to check on some small details and said she’ll meet up with you guys in a bit. So here I am, the welcoming committee,” Tito explained and when he and Mat stepped apart, he reached out to give you another short hug which you accepted. “So how was Baltimore? Don’t suppose you liked it all that much if you’re back so soon. This guy was happy about it,” Tito adds, nodding his head towards Mat who was already busy emptying the trunk.

You press your lips together, displaying a small smile. “Baltimore wasn’t too bad but they missed me here, apparently. Can’t complete a damn thing without my two cents so here I am for now.”

Tito frowns, but the expression is very brief. “For now? We’ll need to talk more about that later so Barzy doesn’t mope around as much as he did back then.”

You throw a quick glance towards Mat but he’s looking away towards whatever interesting spot on the ground he found, pointedly ignoring you. “I’ll have a word with him about it later,” you tell Tito lightly and together, the three of you make your way inside, towards the reception.

“I think Elise is in the room at the end of the corridor if you want to say hi,” Tito informs you and you jump at the opportunity.

You follow the corridor, making a right turn and continuing along the dimly lit hallway leading to what the signs informed you to be Conference Room 1. The door is slightly ajar and you begin picking up on the buzz of activity coming from within and soon enough, you’re face to face with a spacey room boasting an array of flowers and various arrangements tastefully decorating tables and drooping down from the ceiling. No doubt, the effect will be lovely during the night when colourful neon lights can be turned on. You spot Elise easily: she’s in the midst of the room with what is undoubtedly the scrapbook of ideas she’d been carefully putting together since Tito asked her to marry him. Outwardly, she’s all smiles and laughter but you can imagine the amount of effort and planning putting all of this together and working with planners takes.

When she spots you, she squeals in excitement, sets her book down and dashes across the room to engulf you in a hug, making you stumble a few steps back.

You burst into laughter and wrap your arms around her, squeezing her with just enough force to try and communicate how much you missed her but not so that it was uncomfortable.

“I missed you! You’re here!” She exclaims, stepping back to look at you in disbelief then hugging you again. “Oh my gosh, I’m so happy you’re here! Where’s Mat? Is he here too?”

“Of course he is,” you assure her with a laugh. “I missed you too.” You throw a curious glance towards the room over her shoulder, nodding your head towards it. “How’s it going? Need me to take over for a bit?”

“Maybe later. Definitely later. Come on.” She wraps an arm around yours and leads the way out of the room, undoubtedly back to the reception area where you left Mat and Tito. “Please tell me Baltimore is off the table. FaceTime is fine, sure, but it’s not great, you know? I need the real deal next to me. Besides, I’m not sure if you heard, but Mat wasn’t Mat without you.”

“So I heard, but forget about us!” You said in a desperate attempt to try and steer attention away from the subject. “Tell me about how everything’s going. Are you still nervous about it? Because trust me, Elise - you have absolutely nothing to be nervous of. What I’ve heard of so far and what I’ve seen will make it the absolute best day, surely.”

“Of course I’m nervous,” she tells you and to demonstrate, she holds her free hand in front of you and sure enough, there’s just a slight tremble to it. “Please lend me some of those nerves of steel of yours, Y/N, I’d do anything to have even a small percentage of them right now.”

“Pft, as if. Those are all show, trust me.”

“I’ll take even that. Oh, Mat!” She greets as soon as the two of you reach the reception area and Elise spots Mat.

Much like you and Tito, they hug and when she steps back, she immediately stands next to Tito who doesn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. They exchange a quick kiss and you smile at the happiness and bliss they’re clearly surrounded by.

It’s the slight pressure on your lower back that makes you jolt a little on the spot and it’s then you realise Mat had gently placed his hand there to encourage you a little closer. It takes effort on your behalf to follow his guidance but you move towards him, though you wish you could physically wince at how undoubtedly stiff the two of you must look. Or hopefully, not greatly so because neither Tito nor Elise comment on it or shoot you any funny looks as the four of you engage in brief conversation, mainly surrounding the trip here and any other guests they expect to receive today.

You don’t hang around much, though. Elise’s phone begins buzzing incessantly and she’s whisked away by the message received, but not before she fixes you with a pointed stare and demands the two of you have drinks later in the evening. Tito follows her also, even if he informs you and Mat that he feels as if he’s running around in the right places only because of Elise and the wedding planners, but you encourage him on by joking he could maybe turn a few candles on the tables this way or that for some extra oomph.

“I can’t imagine how she does it,” you admit to Mat once the elevator doors slide shut soundlessly and the car begins moving upwards to your floor.

“Pretty sure it’s not that big of a deal to her, given what all this is leading to,” Mat tells you and you detect a hint of detachment in his voice.

You don’t welcome it, of course you don’t, but you choose to not point that out to him. The last thing you want is an argument to break out the relatively okay mood the two of you have managed to hold, recent events that could be erased from memory aside. Instead, you simply stand back quietly, eyes glued on the red digital numbers aside until they come to a halt on the ninth floor where the elevator stops and you’re both left in a silent, dimly lit hallway.

Mat has the key to the apartment Elise told you the two of you would be in and just before tapping in, he hands you your own copy of it. Up until this very moment, you hadn’t thought very much of the overnight arrangements. You were pretty sure you meant to ask Elise a bit more about them at some point but both your attention and hers were pulled in different directions and here you were, stepping into your place for the next couple of nights, Mat trailing a little behind you.

You stop, arms folding across your chest and you feel Mat stop somewhere close behind you, looking into one room.

“I didn’t think this through,” you state neutrally.

Ahead of you lay only one bed.

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl fic #*#the synopsis sucks but i'm bad at short summaries lol #i had this idea since i first joined hockeyblr and i'm happy to have finally found the motivation to write it #anyway i have a vague idea for some scenes #and there will probably be three MAYBE four parts to it

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fairyoftbz · 4 years ago

Text

aquaphobia | k. sunwoo

(n.) : an irrational or disproportionate fear of water, especially anxiety in deep water or when submerging one's face in water.

🌊 pairing: shy! sunwoo x fem! swimming teacher! reader 🌊 word count: 4.6k 🌊 genre: slight angst, fluff, mentions of suggestive themes at the end. 🌊 tw: aquaphobia, mention of claustrophobia and agoraphobia 🌊 synopsis: a young man approaches you while you give children swimming lessons. you’re far from expecting what he asked you. 🌊 a/n: happy birthday sunwoo! ❣ seeing him so scared of going underwater broke my heart, so i had to write about it! miss swimming so it felt so nice to write something like this!! i hope it’s any good and enjoy!

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Hands resting on your hips with the whistle in your mouth ready to blow, your eyes followed the children you were teaching to swim, walking at their pace on the side of the pool. Some parents were sitting in the cafeteria, watching you doubtingly and judgmentally from their seats, nervously sipping on their coffee as they were scared of the safety of their kids. They probably hadn't expected you to be this young, but your lifesaving and diving credentials could prove them otherwise.

You inhaled and blew your whistle, the children picking up the pace, making you squint as their feet tapped harder on the surface of the water, splashing it everywhere. You glanced at the clock on the wall and whistled again, ordering them to stop, before repeating this twice until they arrived at the other end of the pool.

"Alright kids, we'll end there for today," you paused your stopwatch, giving them a little time to catch their breath and get a grip onto the edge of the pool with their little hands.

"You're going to swim one last lap, starting in pairs. Once the first pair gets to the other end, two more will leave, etcetera, etcetera," you explained while gesturing everything under the watchful eyes of the parents. Smiling at some to reassuring them, you focused back on your students and calmed down the nervousness creeping in your veins under the parents' watch. "On your mark... Go!" you yelled, the first pair starting to swim. You kept the whistle close to your lips and followed them with your gaze, clapping your hands to encourage them.

You helped them out of the pool after everyone had finished the activity, the children scampering towards their parents. You waved with a smile to the few people who greeted and thanked you for your work, and you began to put away the different things used for the class.

"Hum, excuse me?" a voice coming from behind startled you, letting go of the pair of fins you had in hand. "Yes?" you replied in an uncertain voice, still surprised at the young man in front of you.

“I saw you training children just now. Do you happen to teach adults as well?" The question seemed to bother him, but he regained confidence when he saw the kindness and the smile on your face. "Classes are for everyone, no matter how young or old you are," you smiled, and he nodded before briefly looking to the side to escape your gaze. "A-Are you interested?" You dared to ask, and he blinked several times, taken aback by the question. "Let's say… how to put it," he started, and you nodded encouragingly, a smile forming on your lips.

“There is no shame in wanting to take lessons, even the biggest swimmers began with those." "No! This is… it's not it. I actually can't swim,” he confessed in a whisper, and your eyes widened briefly before picking up your towel that was lying on the stack of floats. “It's okay, you know. It's good that you want to experience this new sport," you tried to cheer him on, but it seemed like something was wrong, his gaze didn't light up when you accepted his request. "There’s no rush, I'll give you time to think. But if you want to take the plunge, you can sign up at the pool reception," you beamed, and he nodded another time, thanking you for giving him time.

A few days later, while you were having a coffee next to Sangyeon, your best friend - which was also the volunteering pool lifeguard - the young man who had come to talk to you at the end of class reappeared, a lost and anguished look painted on his face.

“Ah, looks like your first student of the day has arrived,” you laughed as you handed him your cup of coffee, opening your lifeguard jacket before walking down the first few steps to the main pool where the young man was eyeing the water, his face growing livid. "Ew, your coffee is disgusting, it's too sweet," Sangyeon put the mug back on the table with a disgusted look, his grimace making you burst out laughing. "Nobody forced you to drink it though," Sangyeon rushed over to a bottle of water and opened it, lightly waving at you as you started your day.

"Sunwoo, right?" The young man got startled as you announced yourself, causing him to turn around quickly, nodding. "Y-yes, it's me," he put his towel on his bag, and you nodded, setting your belongings next to his. "Good. I'm Y/N, and I'll be your teacher until we reach your goals, okay?" You started to walk towards the small stairs that went into the pool, but Sunwoo stayed on the first step with his feet in the water, muscles visibly clenched. You looked at him with furrowed brows, glancing briefly at Sangyeon in his cabin, who was also looking at you with furrowed brows.

Sunwoo fiddled with his hands, his index finger scratching the skin around his thumb. You could see in the side of his neck that his heart was pounding, and immediately understood what was wrong.

You then got out of the pool and put a hand on his shoulder, leading him back to his belongings. How do you get him to explain the situation without scaring or triggering him? His breathing was jerky and panting, your presence not reassuring him at all.

"Sunwoo? Sunwoo, look at me, please," You pressed your hand further onto his shoulder to force him to look at you, trying to make the young man understand that you didn't mean any harm to him. "Can you tell me what's going on? Are you afraid of water?" You asked in a whisper, and he swallowed hard, giving you a clue that you had hit a nerve.

“You know, it's not a shame to be afraid. Your fear is as acceptable as someone afraid of heights or confined spaces. Just because it's a tad bit less common doesn't mean it's less valid," Sunwoo nodded, your heart skipping a beat when his eyes swelled up with tears. "Do you want to postpone-" "No. No, I want to try," you nodded at his shaky words, relieved that he had built up the courage to overcome his fear. "It's-it's just that..." "You don't need to tell me the reason you're scared, that's none of my business. But simply tell me what scares you, so we can work on-" "I'm afraid to drown," he cut you, and you looked at him, encouraging him to continue, "I almost kicked the bucket once and ever since… I'm afraid of going back in the water. It can be the sea, a lake, a swimming pool, I hate it all." You nodded and stood up, motioning for him to follow you.

"We've already moved forward, you told me the reason for your fear, we can take the problem step by step. Now, would you feel reassured to have the lifeguard by the pool? He's my best friend, and he was a coast guard before he moved to come here, so he can save people in any condition," you suggested while pointing at Sangyeon, the latter standing up immediately. Sunwoo shook his head, and your friend sat back down, giving you a knowing smile that he would come down at any sign from you. "Great, then. Let’s try to get into the water, shall we?” You extended your hand, which he took without hesitation, squeezing your palm tightly.

You helped him take deep breaths to calm his pulse and train of thoughts, feeling his hand gradually loosen from yours as you encouraged and reassured him. You walked down the second step of the stairs, and he followed you, swallowing hard as you congratulated and cheered him on again.

"Take the time you want, even if you have to spend the session here, it's fine, okay?" He joined you on the third step, water now above mid-thighs, his hand tightening around yours. "It's alright Sunwoo, I'm here. You're okay, we'll get there eventually. Look at me, please," his firmly shut eyes relaxed, and he blinked several times, sighing as he wanted to cheer himself up. "Remember to breathe deeply and clear your thoughts. And if you feel like stopping, tell me, and we’ll do something else," his eyes never left yours, as if he were caught in a trance. A slight smile decorated your face, your eyes filled with kindness acting like a tranquilliser on his heart.

You looked away from Sunwoo for a brief moment to look at your best friend, who gave you a thumbs up with a big smile from his cabin, encouraging you to be the good teacher you were.

"Are you doing fine?" You asked in a soft voice, and he nodded, jaw clenched. The poor boy. You didn't know what had happened to him, but you truly could see that behind his brown eyes laid years of the trauma he had never been able to heal. "Y-yes, I think so," he whispered, taking a deep breath. "Good job. Do you want to try the fourth step, or should we wait for the next lesson?" You asked as you walked down the second to last step, not letting go of your student's clammy hand. You saw his foot hesitate above the step, but he took a step back, then another, letting go of your hand to take refuge on the first step. At least there was something positive, he hadn't run out of the pool completely.

"I-I am sorry," he whispered, and you stepped out of the water too, the wet part of your swimsuit sticking to your skin. "It's okay, Sunwoo. You've made some good progress already," you comforted him with a smile he barely surrendered in return. “It all takes time. Remember, it's better to take small steps than nothing at all." He nodded, but you could tell he wasn't listening to you, a veil of anxiety appearing in his eyes. "See you next week then!" you put your jacket back on, leaving him sitting next to his bag. "Thank you, Y/N," an unconvinced smile spread across his face. You gently pat him on the shoulder before heading back to your best friend, who was standing up to watch the young man you left behind.

"His distress makes me so sad," you said with a sigh, sitting in your best friend's unoccupied chair. Your gaze fell on Sunwoo again, who was staring at the ground as if he were drained of all the energy he had in him. "But I'm sure you'll be able to get him to overcome his fear," Sangyeon was leaning against the window of his cabin, the soft crackle of the radio occupying the silence. “I'm not as confident as you are, but I'll try."

The more Sunwoo came to the pool, the more anxious he seemed, despite making some progress from the previous lesson. He now knew how to stay in the water, all alone where he was, without having to hold onto you or the side of the pool, but it took several weeks of hard work. He still had that panicked look on his face, but he seemed to have mastered that part of his phobia. Sunwoo even confessed to you that he had tried taking one or two baths, which was a big step forward on his part.

"And? How did it feel being in the bath?" “It was weird… I felt a bit uncomfortable, but the hot water felt good. I even wanted to try to put my head underwater, but I didn't have the courage." “Do not forget what I keep telling you over and over, small steps. There's no point in wanting to go too fast, plus you were all alone. One misstep and we can start all over again, so be careful,” you took on a more severe tone to make him understand that he shouldn't let himself be overwhelmed by a sudden rush of confidence, at the risk of losing all the progress you've made so far.

"Do you want to try to float on your back?" He took his gaze away at your suggestion, his eyes moving all over the place as if he were looking for an escape.

He knew you were only suggesting an activity, but he couldn't help but create horrible scenarios in his head. Sunwoo was reassuring himself as best he could: he had researched you on the swimming pool website, as well as your university, and he had come back more confident than the last time. The sight of all your life-guarding and swimming diplomas featured in the pool staff description reassured him and made you completely trustworthy in the young man's eyes.

"I'm going to ask you to move back, and you bring out your abdomen. Think you want to show everyone how great your abs are,” you explained, and he chuckled through his nose while nodding, dimples appearing on the side of his mouth. You slightly pulled him a little further from the edge, but still close enough in case he panicked. "Remember that you can always set your foot on the ground or grab the pool edge if you don't feel like doing it anymore," he agreed, and you moved closer to him, slipping an arm through the middle of his back to accompany him.

He had his eyes closed, and he was shakily controlling his breathing, a flinch seized him as his head touched the surface of the water, but he kept going nonetheless.

"You can do it Sunwoo, I believe in you," you whispered, and he nodded weakly, feeling your arm behind his thighs, holding him to the surface.

He stayed a moment, but he felt a wave of anxiety crash onto him, his heartbeat echoing violently in his ears not helping him to calm down. He opened his eyes, struck dumb with fear, but you caught his gaze instantly. He managed to make out encouraging words coming out of your mouth despite the thickness of the water.

"I'm here, don't worry, I got you, Sunwoo, I got you," you repeated the words over and over to engrave them in his memory, his phobia unfortunately still present despite your ongoing efforts. You moved closer to the edge and rested your knee against the wall, still maintaining Sunwoo on the surface of the water, allowing him to hang onto the edge to feel safe.

"I'm never going to make it," he whispered, rubbing his face, putting his foot on the ground. "No, Sunwoo, it's not the time to let your fear take over and make you give up. Not after all these efforts.You have to pull yourself together and overcome your fear." You let go of him and replaced your hair behind your neck, observing your student. "Easier said than done." He spat involuntarily, his anxiety speaking for him. "I know it's hard, I know it, and I see it, but I'm sure you can do it." "How can you be confident of something so uncertain? What tells you I'm gonna get there?” Sunwoo slightly raised his voice, the frustration flooding his veins.

"Because you are ready to face your fear! Look at yourself, you came of your own free will to the pool to take lessons, which means you want to progress. If you wanted to remain so fearful of the water and drowning, you wouldn't even have made the effort to get here, let alone be in the water with me. I know it is hard, everyone has a phobia, but you have to be patient and allow time to do what it needs to do. I also have a phobia. I am afraid of confined spaces, elevators, and large crowds. Being stuck on the subway with hundreds of other people always feels like I'm going to suffocate or getting crushed to death. It's a different phobia, but it's just as valid as yours," Sunwoo sighed and folded his arms over his chest, listening wearily.

"Okay Sunwoo, I think we're going to stop there for today," you gave him a slight smile which he didn't answer, lost in thought.

You didn't understand. Yet he was on the right track, making progress, but he was now on the verge of giving up everything. How could you make him enjoy swimming and water again?

This question ran through your mind for the rest of the day, your hand gripping the bar of the subway train as you patiently travelled home. Music at full volume in headphones, you tried to create a safe bubble around you to forget the situation you currently were in. As if talking about it this morning with Sunwoo had triggered something for it to happen.

The subway stopped at a fairly popular station, your eyes widening as you noticed the mass of people who were waiting to climb into the train. You squeezed the bar even tighter, your fingers turning white as the doors opened. Closing your eyes, you internally cursed yourself for not waiting for your best friend to finish his shift. You took a deep breath, now feeling the distress Sunwoo experienced when he was in the water. This feeling of suffocation and helplessness in the face of this fear was starting to take over your whole body. You lowered your head to look at the ground to avoid meeting all eyes and the bodies around you. Chills ran through your spine, and your throat tightened, making your breathing, and swallowing a struggle.

You opened your eyes when a hand grabbed your free one, turning your head sharply to the right as fear rose your heart to your throat. Your grip on the bar slightly relaxed as you recognised Sunwoo beside you, holding your hand as tight as he did when he stepped into the water during your first class. You were ready to cry, but you gritted your teeth, looking away as you felt your eyes fill with tears. Sunwoo shuffled around you, a few people groaning as the coach was packed. He managed to make his way to the automatic doors, where he guided you to the window so that you could focus on something other than the mass surrounding you. His hands were on both sides of your head for him to stand upright, subconsciously creating space for you to have enough room to breathe a little easier.

"Thank you," you whispered, and he smiled compassionately, understanding your distress. He moved closer to you to whisper in your ear, his action making your heart skip a beat. "You did it for me at the pool, I don't see why I shouldn't do it for you on the subway," he wiped a tear away with his thumb and weakly smiled as you fidgeted with your hands.

The more your classes continued, the closer you got with your student, the subway event from a few weeks ago having acted as a trigger. Sunwoo understood that you were on his side, that you weren't doing this because you wanted to make money or because you had to. He felt that you genuinely wanted to help him surmount his fear, just as much as he wanted to help you with yours.

Outside of lectures and meetings, you would start spending time together over coffee or chatting, sensing that a friendship was forming. Sunwoo was a very gentle guy, passionate about music and dancing, activities that had helped to drown out his trauma and move on. He was very talented, his ears turning red despite his beanie when you watched his dancing and rapping performances on his phone at a cafe.

___

You took a break from training for a while, you and Sunwoo having to focus on your studies. Despite your part-time job at the pool, you also had a degree to achieve, and it was by far the easiest. You were in law school with Sangyeon, and your student happened to be in biology in a building a few feet from yours. You didn't have time to spend time together. Sangyeon, his girlfriend and you almost lived in each other's house, studying together for your final exams.

Once that affliction was over, you could finally relax, and for both of you, that meant jumping into an Olympic-size pool and swimming laps until you could no longer be able to move. When swimming was your stress reliever, Sangyeon and his girlfriend had some spicy intercourses that allowed them to get rid of the built-up pressure together. Since they were not as tensed as you, Sangyeon gave up earlier than you, wrapping himself in his towel before sitting down to watch you swim.

As you were getting rid of all your frustration and exam stress by pounding your feet in the water, a familiar face appeared from the changing rooms as you lifted your head to breathe. You briefly smiled before putting your head back under the water and swinging your arms above your head, waving your pelvis before repeating the movements.

"Nice to see you here, Sunwoo," you said, stopping at the end of your lap with a smile on your face, lifting your goggles. He sat by the pool and dipped his feet in the water, looking at you with a smirk. "I was bored now that the exams are over, so I thought I could drop by and see you," you placed a hand to your heart, acting fake touched by his words. You started swimming again as not to lose your energy nor the rhythm you had managed to keep after a few laps.

Sunwoo watched you go to the other end of the pool, your movements and form hypnotising him. He desired to become as graceful and comfortable in the water as you were, but he still had a long way to go. You got introduced to swimming as soon as you could walk, your parents wanting to pass on their passion to you.

The lifeguard gently smacked Sunwoo's shoulder and winked to greet him while he was leaving. Your student nodded while shifting his attention back to you, who was coming back to finish your training. Putting a tried hand against the edge of the pool, you grabbed the bottle of water before taking a few gulps as you caught your breath. A sudden, swift movement surprised you, your eyes widening as you saw Sunwoo's figure dive above your head, coming back to the surface with a smile on his face. He laughed when you choked and spat out the water you had in your mouth, shocked at his sudden, magical progress.

"Sunwoo, what the fuck! You were still hesitant to put your head underwater the last time we saw each other! What happened?" You yelled in confusion as you approached the young man, who smiled and ran a hand through his wet hair to get a better look at you. "I… lied. I took classes with Sangyeon while you were studying. I wanted to give you a nice surprise at the end of the exams…" you shook your head, scoffing, slightly offended at the amazing progress he had made with Sangyeon, as you followed him for months. "You made more progress with my best friend in a few weeks than with me in several months," you said, and he chuckled, a big smile on his face.

Were you doing something wrong?

Sunwoo saw your slightly crestfallen face and moved closer to grab hold of your forearm. You looked at him sideways for long seconds, finally smiling when you saw the teasing look that decorated his eyes.

"You did most of the work, Sangyeon just took the opportunity to show me other things." “Obviously. That fucker always does what’s the easiest. He certainly isn't going to bother to get his hands dirty," Sunwoo laughed at your statement, noting that this wasn't probably the first time your best friend's done this to you. You sighed and instantly lifted your head as your friend took off your swim cap and brushed the baby hair out of your face. "I wouldn't think twice if all of this had to happen again. I would take lessons behind your back with Sangyeon if I had to, again, because nothing can replace the surprise that shone in your eyes when you saw me dive. It was priceless,” you rolled your eyes and looked away, Sunwoo's fingers grabbed your chin to make you look at him in the eyes.

Not only did Sangyeon teach him how to swim, but now he's a huge flirt! Where did the shy guy that was terrified of water go?

"Whatever," you retorted, and he arched an eyebrow. "Oh. You don't believe me?" "Not so much, no. It sounds like a crappy plan any-" a soft source of warmth rushed to your face, feeling pressure against your lips, allowing you only milliseconds of what was currently happening.

Sunwoo's arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you to his slender body. One hand running around your curves to come to rest on your cheek, cradling it tenderly, contrasting with the fervour of the kiss you were exchanging. Pressing your hands against his chest after making out for a few minutes, his lips left yours, leaving you both breathless, the workout you had just done not helping you in this situation.

"I wanted to confess to you another way, but you talk too much, I had to do something to make you quiet," you pat him gently on the forearm, laughing, a wave of embarrassment seizing your body. "You're done? Can I start swimming again?" You changed the subject, and Sunwoo smirked, leaning against the wall of the pool.

The rays of sun hitting the water gave his skin a luminous complexion, his beautiful eyes turning a lighter shade of chocolate brown as he looked at you with a thin, satisfied smirk. He watched you silently, his eyes unrestrainedly longing for your lips. You moved closer to him and planted your eyes in his, finding their dark colour again. He grabbed your cap and threw it behind him, landing near your bag so you couldn’t go back to swimming.

"If I was mean I'd press your head underwater, but I don't want to ruin our efforts, so you better run fast," you threatened him, but he didn't move an inch, always watching you with a teasing look as his elbows rested on the edge of the pool. He cleared his throat and stared at you, a new sparkle lightning his eyes.

“Sangyeon told me about a technique that helps reduce stress well, tested and approved by him and his partner. Do you want to give it a try?" You quirked an eyebrow and your tongue poked the inner part of your cheek, rolling your eyes before staring at him, moving closer to his ear. "I'll meet you in the showers, you better be good if you don’t want me to kick your ass," you said, and he hoisted himself out of the water in no time.

“Noted,” he started and went on one knee to near his face with yours, “teacher,” he winked and threw your towel around his neck before confidently walking towards the showers, sending you an explicit wink as you scoffed at his behaviour, shaking your head as you rushed out of the pool.

What has Sangyeon done to your student…

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