#thank you for allowing me to write an analysis on your fic 😭❤

[betweenxt-the-lines]

Fic Analysis: Found in the Crack of Your Palm

Disclaimer: This analysis will contain SPOILERS. I encourage you to read the one-shot first before reading this post.

Read the fanfic here, and don't forget to leave kudos and comments to the author, @the-furthest-city-light! It's a very good time, to the point of inspiring me into writing ovo

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The main draw that I had with this fanfic in the first place is that it characterizes Luffy as demisexual. His and Zoro's relationship is cleverly paced and built up from their small, bite-sized scenarios that capture the slow but eventual realization and admittance of his romantic feelings to Zoro.

While the one-shot is divided in several different scenes spanning many settings, The scenes in the crow’s nest with Luffy and Zoro are the most vital scenes of the fanfic. We see that throughout the story, only these two characters are shown to frequent the crow's nest. It's also the only place in the story where Zoro and Luffy allow for their vulnerability and openness to shine through, making this the location of Luffy's "checkpoint" where he reflects on his feelings and overall progress of his relationship with Zoro.

Being unaware of his feelings

When first introduced to the crow’s nest, Luffy at this point has made small notices that he’s been paying attention to Zoro in a way he’s not done with another person. In the scene before, Luffy was focused on Zoro’s physical features for the first time and he notes that it bubbles up a strange reaction inside of him.

... Zoro lying against the mast, the tender underbelly of him exposed. It does weird things to Luffy’s chest, makes his skin feel tight. His palms tingle, an itch beneath his skin to – to – 

Luffy stops his line of thinking by engaging in usual Luffy shenanigans (shooting a fish with a canon) to distract himself. Going back to Luffy and Zoro's scene in the crow’s nest, Luffy also catches the way the moon illuminates and paints Zoro’s features. Both of these scenarios points the start of his interest in Zoro. However, he too unaware of this behaviour to notice a shift within himself, and easily gives in to distractions. After staring at Zoro and taking in the night sky, Luffy comments,

“It’s pretty”, Luffy says when he’s done looking at the stars

But for someone who was just done looking at the stars, he’s paying an awful amount of more attention and focus on the way Zoro looks. Zoro’s features were intentionally described in more length, indicative of the amount of attention that Luffy was giving to them. By comparison, there was not a single description of the star’s beauty in the night sky. This made me believe that Luffy was unaware about how he’s using the stars as a cover for the feelings that he has not (for now) discovered. Luffy no doubt finds the stars to be beautiful, but he does not realize that he's not quite referring to the stars, but to Zoro. Checkpoint one in Luffy's relationship with Zoro displays that he's started to notice things about Zoro, something that he does not do for others.

Two crucial moments and the slow realization

By the second time we are privy to the events in the crow’s nest, Luffy had experienced two big events that caused a turning point with his development and realization about his feelings: the battle at Whiskey Peak, and the Battle with the Marines. Both of these scenarios forced Luffy to realize that he likes Zoro differently from how he likes his other close friends and family, putting him a step closer to finding out that his feelings may not be entirely platonic. I want to discuss each turning point in great detail because they provide the push Luffy needed to complete his realization, which he will then be reflecting and pondering on in the crow’s nest.

In the battle of Whiskey Peak, Luffy for the first time faces Zoro as an enemy. Luffy has always known that Zoro enjoys his battles, but he also gains another understanding with the way he fights. When the swordsman battles, he gives his utmost focus and attention to his enemy.

After Whiskey Peak he’s almost—he’s almost jealous, of the people Zoro fights.  Not because he wants to fight Zoro, but because Zoro affords all his focus to those he fights, the whole entire strength of him.

Luffy realizes that he likes being given that attention and admits that he is jealous of the people Zoro fights. Even for a small moment, Luffy gets a preview of what it is like to be Zoro’s everything, and he desperately craves that feeling again. Their skirmish ended with Luffy gaining a scar on his bicep that he is fond of because the scar is a proof of Zoro's connection with him, almost like he now as a part of Zoro. Luffy becomes more drawn to his swordsman as he now realizes what it will be like to be his only focus.

He notices that Zoro only shaves once a week, but by day five his stubble is visible and by day six it starts bugging him. … He notices Zoro doesn’t touch him, but he lets Luffy pull him along without much complaint.  So he finds himself yanking Zoro into his space at the dining table or pulling him along across Merry’s deck to show him cool stuff or hugging him one-sidedly like it’s the most natural thing in the world. If he’s really, really lucky, then Zoro will turn to look at him with this smile that he only gives Luffy.  And always, always, when Zoro looks at him with that smile, his eyes soften in a way that fills Luffy up to the brim, so full he can’t breathe.  It’s weird. Luffy likes it.  He likes Zoro in general.

At this point of the story, Luffy is much more deliberate with paying attention to the little details of  Zoro, signifying that he’s now aware of how much his eyes shift to his swordsman. He starts to find small excuses to continuously touch and be around him, realizing that he likes Zoro. Based on what we’ve seen of Luffy so far, it is hard to say he's referring to a romantic “like”, but it is not a stretch to believe that Zoro has gained his interest in a way that other people did not. He clues in that Zoro makes him feel strange, but he likes this feeling that Zoro gives him. Luffy even makes an attempt with sharing this discovery.

I don’t mind,” Luffy tells him, and stuffs his mouth full of a ham hock.  He is so glad they have Sanji on the crew now.  “Zoro can touch me."

The second turning point comes with the battle with the Marines. The fight is well-paced, carrying the right amount of energy with its punch and challenges, portraying that despite the Straw Hats needing to take the fight a little more seriously than usual, they will still be victorious. The fight contained its dangers, but the lighthearted banter and communications within the Straw Hats imply that they will triumph.

It is at the end of the battle, however, that brings Luffy's next development with his feelings for Zoro. Zoro scolds Luffy for his inaction after warning him of an incoming attack. Understanding that Luffy is okay, and that he’s taken more hits than his captain, Zoro softens. Luffy notices that Zoro is giving him his full attention, similar to how he did when they battled in Whiskey Peak. When Zoro clasps the back of Luffy’s head, Luffy starts to have an ecstatic reaction. This is our first look of Luffy's desire for Zoro, something he never had with anyone else.

None of it explains the way Luffy’s body lights up when Zoro clasps the back of his neck, like every nerve is alight and trained on the palm cupping the baby hairs at the back of his skull.  His stomach knots over itself and he wants to eat everything in Sanji’s kitchen.  Zoro’s skin is a little rough and sweaty from fighting and warm. Zoro is close, so close, his forehead nearly butting Luffy’s and Luffy couldn’t move if he wanted to, trapped there by the closeness and the touch that makes him aware of Zoro’s skin against his in a way he’s never been before.  Zoro’s eyes bore into his, digging deep into Luffy and dragging out—something, buried in the base of his spine.  He feels like the earth is tilting, and freefall seems like it might be fun. Luffy licks his lips, his mouth dry and his heartrate frantic.

As the moment between him and Zoro is broken, Luffy wanted Zoro’s attention back. Now aware for his desire for Zoro, Luffy is unable to handle this new turn of events, “…his [Luffy] brain blank and empty with static,” and “feeling weird and off-balance.” Zoro’s attention is now directed to Chopper was patching him up, and Luffy (for the first time) blushes as he takes in the details of Zoro’s back muscles and movements.

Zoro’s bared back faces Luffy, and it suddenly seems—different.  Luffy’s never noticed the way the muscles on Zoro’s back stand out, connect, contract as he moves.  He’s never noticed how his tanned skin seems to glow in the afternoon light, or how his shoulder-blades stand out, framing the divot of his spine. His face feels too warm.  Everything feels too warm.  Luffy tears his gaze away, and finds Sanji staring at him, one curly eyebrow raised.

With Luffy’s two reactions (blushing and the feelings he got when Zoro touched him on the back of his neck), I believe this is the point where Luffy realizes he has a crush on Zoro, even if he still does not understand what that entails. It’s also worth noting that right after Luffy notices his desires , his hunger pangs starts, desperate to fill a gap within himself with food. Even as he lays awake on his bunk at night and fed, he’s having trouble with sleep. I see this as Luffy making an attempt at trying to satiate his feelings of crush for Zoro with food, because he doesn’t know how to go about wanting his swordsman. Luffy’s a bit of a stress eater, and honestly, he’s me fr fr.

It’s no coincidence that he climbs into the crow’s nest the next night, now with a bit more of an understanding of his feelings about the swordsman, but also with many thoughts to ponder over. When he looks over at Zoro and absorbs the details of how the moon has painted Zoro’s features, Luffy reacts the same way he did during the aftermath of the battle with the Marines: blushing and wanting Zoro’s attention. To notice that he’s feeling new things about his swordsman. Wanting to touch him.

And just like what happened after, Luffy once again stops himself from saying what he wants. He tried to share his thoughts with Zoro, but it comes out lacking and not completely what he’s meaning to say. He still has no idea how to go about resolving and sharing how he feels with Zoro.

“Zoro,” Luffy starts.  He hears Zoro move to look over at him, but doesn’t know how to voice what he wants to ask.  He frowns in thought, and Zoro makes a questioning noise. “I like it up here,” Luffy tells him.  It’s not what he wants to say but it’s true regardless.  He looks up at Zoro because Zoro always seems to understand him with just a look, and he thinks he may as well give it a shot now. Zoro’s expression is soft, and he nods.  But there’s no light of understanding or realization in his eyes, and whatever Luffy’s thinking or feeling misses its mark.  That’s okay—it’s not like Luffy knows what he meant in the first place.”

As Luffy understands that he’s gaining non-platonic feelings for Zoro, he’s becomes unsure. Luffy (who throughout this story) has been confident and does not give too much of a thought about his actions, shows hesitation for the first time. He knows he wants Zoro, but he still does not completely understand what a crush means, or how to go about having a crush.

This second crow’s nest scene summarizes Luffy’s current progress on his feelings towards Zoro: aware of his non-platonic feelings, but doesn’t quite know what it is or what he’s going to do with it. The reason he’s been able to come to this conclusion is because of his discoveries both during the fight in Whiskey Peak and the Marines. In fact, I stand to believe that it’s not a coincidence that it’s during battles that Luffy makes these realizations. Zoro is a man of few words, and uses his actions to do the talking, which is fitting, that Luffy starts to fall for him as Zoro shows himself more through his actions.

Action and Conclusion

In the third (and final) time we’re shown in Luffy and Zoro’s moment in the crow’s nest, we reach a culmination of Luffy’s efforts to understanding and addressing how he feels about Zoro. To get to this point, he seeks out the help of Nami as he knows he won't go far trying to figure things out on his own. Nami and Vivi are in a relationship in this story, and Luffy is aware that they’ve kissed and done other romantic actions. This displays Luffy’s observant nature and accurate assessment, making the connection that what he’s feeling for Zoro is likely how Nami feels for Vivi.

Nami explains that she partakes in romantic endeavours with Vivi is that she’s attracted to Vivi, which Luffy does not understand. 

“… but you know how, like, you can look at a person and think they’re pretty or hot but it’s kind of—objective?  Remote?  And how with other people you notice they’re pretty and also you feel like you want to be near them or touch them?” Luffy tilts his head to the side.  “No?” “Hmm,” Nami frowns.  “What about, like, butterflies?  Where you see someone and get kind of nervous and hot because you like them?” Luffy scrunches his nose.  He can’t remember being nervous about…well, anything, ever.

Luffy’s demisexuality comes into the forefront of the story and is a major factor into him not understanding his feelings for Zoro. Being demisexual means that the person can’t be drawn to another solely on their physical appearance, or if they don’t know a person deeply. Prior to meeting Zoro, Luffy has never been nervous about a person, felt the feelings of “butterflies” in his stomach, or the need to touch someone and be near them. It’s curious that Luffy does not think about his reactions to Zoro when Nami was describing attraction, even when he did experience the same feelings. However, there is reason to believe that this is because at this point, Luffy does not connect the dots that his nervousness and uncertainty is linked with his romantic feelings for Zoro. As Nami made Zoro leave the kitchen, allowing for a more private conversation between her and Luffy, he opens to ask his true question: If he wants to kiss Zoro. Luffy explains to Nami that he’s never had the urge to do this with someone before, therefore attributing to his confusion.

“He doesn’t think it makes a lot of sense, since most of Luffy’s explanations have to do with Zoro staring or how it suddenly feels weird to touch his swordsman or how he really, really wants Zoro to touch him.  He tells them he feels—squirmy around Zoro now and it’s not restlessness or hunger or anything else he knows how to deal with, how he wants to say something but he doesn’t know what.” 

It is worth noting here that Luffy is an amateur when attempting to describe how he feels about Zoro. Not only that, but he describes his feelings objectively, as he only talks about the sensations in his body and wanting to do something about it. Luffy has felt happy, excited, and nervous when thinking about Zoro, but he does not describe any of these feelings to Nami. I see this as Luffy not being aware of how his feelings shifts when he is thinking about Zoro. Nami realizes that Luffy works better with action-based learning to resolving his feelings, and tells Luffy to ask Zoro for permission when wanting to do something with him. Luffy is then excited at the prospect of asking Zoro for a hug, because even in his uncertainty, getting an affirmation from the person in question is a direct and definitive way to having an answer.

Luffy decides on the next day that he’s going to ask Zoro for a hug, waiting patiently for him to finish his workout. He homes in on the way Zoro’s body and muscles move.

Zoro squats, and as he squats he exhales through his mouth.  His abs bend and his thighs bulge through the fabric of his trousers.  He rises, and his stomach contracts as he inhales through his nose, his broad chest bulging and his shoulders pinned back under the weight he’s holding.  Luffy follows the line off his shoulders to the swell of his biceps, the tension of his forearms and the firmness of his grip around the barbell. Luffy watches the motion of Zoro’s hips for a moment but it makes a flush of something deep and sharp slide through him, something unexpected.  He imagines Zoro turning around, imagines watching him do this from behind, and he has to look away, imagining the muscles of Zoro’s back move and twitch beneath his skin, his trousers filling with his butt on each squat— Luffy squirms, the first flash of impatience hitting him.  He wants to touch Zoro.  He wants to hug him.  Or something.”

The usually hyperactive and excitable Luffy is still and quiet when observing Zoro because he’s enamoured. He even goes as far as imagining what it would be like for him to stare at Zoro from behind but cuts off his line of thought by thinking of doing something else to distract himself. It took Luffy this long to find Zoro attractive, a feeling that Nami described to him earlier in the kitchen.

Zoro is confused by Luffy at this point because he’s waited two hours to ask a seemingly mundane question, but this shows how important this is to Luffy for him to sit still and wait. He wants Zoro to have his full attention when answering his question, and only with Zoro’s permission did he go for the hug.

“Do hugs make you feel good?” Luffy asks, curious.  He knows Zoro doesn’t like touch like Luffy does, so it would be disappointing but not weird for Zoro to say no. “I—don’t—maybe?” Zoro squirms and it makes Luffy giggle as his muscles move underneath him.  “It’s—fine, I guess.” Luffy leans back in the hug so he can see Zoro’s face.  He’s still sweaty from his workout, and red from the exertion, but he’s scowling hard, his whole face pinched into it.  His glare is fixed on Luffy’s face, firm and unrelenting. Luffy studies him, looking for objection, for discomfort or dislike. He grins.”

Luffy values Zoro’s opinion on the hug because this is a step closer to figuring out the answer to his main question (if he wants to kiss Zoro). He is expectedly happy that Zoro finds no problem with his hug, and he is now able to act on his affections with hugs.  In addition, he tells Zoro to hug him back whenever he wants, showing that Luffy wants Zoro to be open with affection the way he is to Zoro.

As Luffy gets more comfortable with asking Zoro for hugs, he extends to other methods of physical touches like head pats, touches on the arms, putting sunscreen on the back, and holding his hands. Zoro is undoubtedly confused by this new behaviour but continues to indulge with Luffy’s every requests. Luffy notes the strange feelings in his body, his “heart squeezes hard in his chest and freezes the air in his lungs.” He eventually becomes greedy for Zoro’s touches, and asks for more.

His greed reaches a tipping point when he asks Zoro to sit on his lap during a dinner. Zoro’s confusion on Luffy’s behaviour turns into hurt and embarrassment, causing him to storm out of the establishment.

“I don’t get it,” Zoro says after a moment.  He’s staring at Luffy with—wait, what, that looks like—hurt, or embarrassment, or— “Why are you being so weird the last few days?” Luffy frowns.  “I’ve been asking.” “Yeah, and—” Zoro runs his hand through his hair, frustrated.  He glares at nothing, somewhere above their heads, and squeezes the hilt of his white sword.  “Forget this.  Someone should watch the ship.”

While Luffy is confused with the reaction, Zoro’s hurt and embarrassment is not surprising. I’ve held off from talking about Zoro’s point of view so far because we are not privy to much of his thoughts or feelings in comparison to Luffy’s openness and having his heart on his sleeve. However, Zoro’s frustration and pain at this moment quickly clicked with me because of what he’s seen from Luffy's behaviour so far. When Luffy was asking Nami to explain attraction, he was there to witness that conversation and watch Luffy get increasingly confused with Nami’s descriptions. He does not believe that Luffy understood what it was. Coupling this detail with Luffy’s frequent requests for closeness and affection, Zoro concludes that Luffy is doing this out of curiosity, unaware of how the touches made Zoro feel. In a way, he might have felt like his emotions are being played with, even if it was not Luffy’s intention.

With the encouragement of his friends, Luffy would ultimately decide that he doesn’t want to keep betting around the bush with getting an answer to his original question, and moves to go after Zoro to do what he wanted to do since the beginning. It is here that we reach the third (and final!) scene, in the crow’s nest where Luffy and Zoro will confess their feelings.

In the final scenario at the crow’s nest plays differently from the two former events in the crow’s nest, with Luffy now understanding what he wants and intending to share his direct and honest thoughts with Zoro.

He opens with saying “It’s pretty,” but this time, he’s looking at Zoro. He is setting an intention to make Zoro understand that he’s not talking about the stars, but about him. Zoro asks him why he’s been behaving strange the past few days, because Luffy was never the type of person to ask for permission about anything. Luffy’s explanation and build up with his inner turmoil throughout the story is revealed.

“I’ve never liked someone the way, like, Nami likes Vivi or Usopp likes Kaya.  I thought I didn’t get like that and I didn’t really care.  Except you…” “….And I started thinking about—how the way I like you feels different, how I notice things about you I don’t notice for anyone else, like the way you have nice hands or how you always clean your swords a certain way or when you like to shave, and I—“ Luffy scowls, because the words are kind of hard to say suddenly, “My favorite scar is the one you gave me, and sometimes I want to bite you so we match.”  “…So like, then I realized that I want you to look at me all the time, because no one looks at me like you do, and I want you to touch me all the time, because it feels different and good and stuff when you touch me.  It’s fun and I like it, and I want to touch you lots.” … (He really, really hopes that’s what Zoro wants too.) … (Oh—huh.  What if it’s not?) “…Nami said I should practice if I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and I did, so now I know what I want,” Luffy says, determined now that he’s said this much—the adrenaline in his veins feels a lot like nerves and he wants to laugh at his older self for scoffing at the idea.  Maybe Luffy’s laying his heart bare too, without even realizing it.  He flushes, looks Zoro in the eye, and smiles as big as he can.”

As a demisexual, Luffy does not start to develop feelings for a person unless he has a deep connection with them first. He may have many friends who he considers precious, but he’s been around Zoro the longest at this point of his journey to becoming a pirate king. He also matches with him in many aspects, operating from similar wavelengths and capable of having wordless conversations because they just understand each other that deeply. Luffy’s attraction to Zoro needed to take a long period of build up and slow realizations, perfectly timed and crafted by the author as they guide the readers from the start to the realization, and to the conclusion of Luffy’s romantic development. It started from the small observations, following by the realization that he wants Zoro differently that came much later after he’d gone through two major moments that recontextualized the way he sees Zoro.

Because Luffy is unsure about what to do with his romantic affections, he takes Nami’s suggestions to heart. Since Luffy has no previous understanding of romance or romantic gestures, he hesitates on what to do next. He’s only newly come to terms with his romantic feelings, therefore he struggles with asking Zoro for a kiss or how to initiate it.

As Luffy was about to ask Zoro for a kiss, his mouth is covered by his swordsman’s hand. It’s ironic how Luffy was told to ask permission when he’s unsure, and by asking for a kiss, he displays that he’s doubting himself as he asks for the kiss. Zoro doesn’t allow him to complete his question, showing Luffy that he does not need to doubt himself any longer. Putting a hand on the back of his neck, he captures his lips, and the moment reaches its eventual climax.

“Captain doesn’t need to ask me,” Zoro repeats, his voice rough and low and his breathing is ragged too.  “Captain should just take what he wants.”

When it comes to romance, Luffy started out not knowing of the feeling or how to deal with it, needing the guidance from his friends and explicit permission from Zoro to progress and do what he thinks is right. Romance is not an easy feeling to navigate, and it’s normal to feel the uncertainty and nervousness of the pressure to make it "feel right" when sharing your feelings and handling the overwhelming desires that comes from them.

Luffy was able to arrive to his answer and find the courage to share them, undoubtedly from the help of his friends, but also because he’s had plenty of time to reflect and sit with what he’s feeling and experiencing.

Found in the Crack of your Palm is a story about the slow yet steady build up of eventual romance and feeling it for the first time. The journey to the romance was eventful, but all it took was having the turning points to open the floodgates of the dormant feelings that was eager to be noticed. The moment can be as small as finding and feeling a scar on your bicep, a crack in your palm that opened the eyes to the realization that you’ve been wanting a certain someone to be a part of you as long as they can and forever if the stars allow for so. It’s the feeling of wanting to hold another person’s cracked palms and hands into your own as you take on the world together for all the challenges and joys that you both are about to experience, together.