#thank you for all the responses for the wips they really motivated me to finish it

[dial1-800-peachykeen]

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Anne Boonchuy & Sasha Waybright & Marcy Wu, Sasha Waybright & Marcy Wu

Characters: Sasha Waybright, Marcy Wu

Additional Tags: mentions of Anne Boonchuy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Sasha Waybright-centric, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ghost Marcy Wu, Sasha Waybright Needs A Hug, Instead She Gets Closure, Sasha is not a reliable narrator, Mentions of Death, Mentions of hospitals

Summary:

“Do you miss Anne?”

“Of course I miss Anne, I don’t think I’m capable of doing anything else.” Because Anne was the better of the three. Because their Anne was something too good for the world so she had to be taken back. How could you not feel a gaping hole when she wasn’t around. How was Sasha supposed to not feel like there was a dark star inside of her, collapsing in itself and pulling everything down with it.

“Do you miss me?”

------------------------------------------------------

Seven years passes until they find themselves in each other's embraces once again. One of them a tall child and the other nothing more than what could be, but Sasha can't tell which is which.

[yoonia]

— Dia’s tumblr wrapped 2024 

I know it’s super late for me to share this, but just as many would say, it’s better late than never. Thank you so much for the lovely people who tagged me to do this: @beomcoups, @shadowkoo, @kingofbodyrolls ♡

2024 started off smoothly…until it didn’t. The final quarter of the year has always been a hard time for me and it wasn’t that much different this year. As you can probably notice that I’ve been mostly absent ever since the end of October and I deeply apologise for that. I also regret not planning things properly and for not keeping up with my goals this year but that only means that I'll be dragging my WIP list towards the next year.

Thank you so much for everyone who has been there for me this year, and those of you who have stuck by me despite my inconsistencies. I really appreciate your presence on my blog, whether it’s through your likes and kudos, your reblogs, your comments and replies on my contents, and the kind words you sent me through my ask box. You guys have made it worthwhile for me to be here even after all these years, and I don’t think I can thank you enough for that. Here’s to mark the end of our wild journey through 2024 and enter the new year of 2025. 

OVERALL FIC STATS 2024

Number of fics posted: 4 (four) one-shots, 2 (two) ongoing series, 3 (three) ficlets

Number of fics revamped: 2 (two) completed fics, 2 (two) ongoing series

Number of words written: 448,057 words (dang, no wonder I felt so burned out lol)

Number of fics in progress: 32 (oh, boy…) 

FIRST FIC OF 2024

❥ A Christmas Fix 01 & 02 —  posted Jan 31st & Feb 1st | 1,926 & 1,226 notes

My thoughts: This was…quite a journey. It’s been a while since I wrote a rom-com story and I was pleased to have been given the chance to write this idea through a collab. The final outcome wasn’t too disappointing either, since I enjoyed writing it and reading it afterwards. I’m glad everyone loved this story as well.

MOST POPULAR FIC OF 2024

❥ The Stand-In (Revamped version) — posted Aug 13th | 4,267 notes

My thoughts: Okay, yeah…I cheated a little. But to be fair, this fic did get a lot of notes this year before and after the revamping process. I loved this story so much that I felt like it deserved a major makeover and I’m glad I managed to do it this year.

LONGEST FIC OF 2024

❥ The Bedroom Hymns — series, ongoing, last updated Sept 9th | 50k++ words | I’m too lazy to open each chapter to count the notes I’m so sorry lol

My thoughts: I know…I know, I need to update this one again. I had to take a break from this series because this fic literally became my main focus this year that a lot of my WIPs kept getting pushed back just so I could finish more of this. I had to stop at some point to finally set free my WIPs. I have to admit that I also lost my motivation to write this due to the lack of notes and responses that I got with each update no matter how much time I spent working on it (tacky, I know…but it is what it is). I still love and enjoy writing this, so more chapters are coming. I can see this fic becoming my main focus again in 2025 until I’m done with it.

LAST FIC OF 2024

❥ The Forsaken II: Tears of the Sea — posted Oct 24th | 712 notes

My thoughts: Holy hell…this fic. Who would’ve thought that I’d be revisiting siren!Taehyung this year after…3 years?? Thank you, whoever it was that sent this during my birthday event. I never expected to write a full fic for this to continue the original story and to answer a lot of your questions, but I’m glad I did! 

Honorable mention: 

❥ Our Imperfections — posted Oct 30th | 92 notes

My thoughts: This was the last thing I actually released before I dipped into the void but I couldn’t count this as a fic as this was considered a ficlet or, in a more common term, a drabble.

PERSONAL FAVOURITE FIC OF 2024

❥ Blooming Wallflowers — posted Sept 25th | 927 notes

My thoughts: I had one of those rare moments where I found myself enjoying the writing process of a story so much that things simply kept flowing until it became a full story. This one went twice the size planned (and commissioned) but I have no regrets. At all.

Honorable mention: 

❥ Maps (revamped version) — series, completed, posted Sept 6th, 7th, & 11th | 1,4k++ notes (again, I’m too lazy to open each chapter lol)

My thoughts: I initially planned to release something else for DPR Ian’s birthday this year. But then I started revamping the graphics for his old fics instead and decided to revamp the whole series while I had the chance. This one has always been my fave work that I wrote for Christian, so diving back into this to do a makeover and give it a major upgrade felt absolutely fulfilling. 

2024 SPECIAL EVENT

❥ 𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖆𝖉𝖊: yoonia’s 2024 birthday bash

My thoughts: Once again, I can’t thank you guys enough for joining this small event of mine. I promise that I’ll have another event in 2025 so please stay tuned! (see you in March!) 

Fave reads of 2024

I have to admit that I haven’t been doing a lot of fic reading this year. But I’m happy that I got to dive back into reading some fanfics during my birthday event and found some lovely gems that I truly enjoyed

The Taste of Sin by @shadowkoo

Vignette: Duty by @cybrsan

The Athlete by @beomcoups

A Lover's Redemption by @writtenwhalien

Dandelion by @shina913

The Wood by @sailoryooons

Minted by @kithtaehyung

Mr. & Mrs. Yoon by @monamipencil

On The Ropes by @raplinesmoon

Top Ten Tracks of 2024

Loved — B.I

People — Agust D

Make You Mine — Black Violet

Gemini — Cheyenne 

Close To Me — Mamie, Eloy, Trippy Bass

HUH?! — Agust D feat. J-hope

Love — Lana Del Rey 

Reasons — COTIS 

Watch Me Burn — Michelle Morrone 

Die First — Nessa Barrett  

GOALS FOR 2025

Write more. Tackle more WIPs each month. 

Finally finish my old abandoned WIPs (About Time, Blood Moon Rising and the Shifters Series, Chance Encounter) 

Finish writing and officially release my original stories/novel as a web-series

Try to do better with planning and scheduling and keeping up with them

Finish revamping Carousel and release the novel version on Ream

Read more. Both published books and released fics

Focus more on my personal health, mental and physical 

Start job hunting again

I know I’m late for this, so I’m passing this over to the writers who are tagged on the list above (if you haven’t done this yet) and also tagging a few who come across my mind right now (only if you want to!): @ressjeon @lo1k-diamonds @pars-ley @minisugakoobies @inkedtae

And also tagging randomly anyone who feels inspired to create their own tumblr wrapped! 

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Reader x Konig: I Don't Need You (Ch. 10)

<- Previous - Next ->

Summary: Thankfully, things have been resolved between you and Konig. You start to settle in more with your team, and Roze shares a few thoughts with you over a smoke. The memories are still there, but just like the winter around you, they're cold and unwelcoming. You and Konig open up to each other a bit more, more than you had ever opened up to anyone.

WARNINGS: implications of masturbation, cursing, angst (if you squint?), plot building, graphic depictions of animal torture and death (PLEASE CONSIDER ALL WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME thank you kindly)

Notes: Yes! Hello! I exist!! I've been in a slump, and I really do apologize for that. Many of you have been very patient with me and I love and appreciate you all for it! I had to intake as much CoD literature as I could in the past few weeks to get me motivated, which helped a LOT (not to mention I discovered no fewer than ten works that currently have a hold on my heart). But it's here! I forced myself to write over half of the following chapter so that it would be less daunting to finish up. I also plan to make a wip post for yall, just to share will everyone what goes on in my rat brain.

This was edited at 3 am (god it's 4 am now, i just saw that), so if there are any grammatical or spelling errors you have my full consent to call me out on it! Please enjoy!

(sidenote, I completely didn't research how old you need to be to become a navy SEAL, so reader's age is a bit inaccurate in regards to that. pls ignore lol)

(last sidenote then you can read, does anyone have tips for customizing the layout of their fics? I see so many cool ways to style the font and cute banners and errything but I have no idea how nor what to do)

- - - -

The sky hung low with a blanket of gray. It looked like it was about to snow, although the threat was soon dismissed when noon came around and there wasn’t a single flake. The air was cold and dry, forcing me to zip my jacket up all the way and tuck my nose into the collar. I blew steady, warm breaths into my jacket and tried to soak up the heat into my bones.

It was as if the incident had never happened.

Konig and I ended up driving to the liquor store, which was a blessing, since I had run out of Yeungling (and I didn’t understand enough Turkish to converse with the clerk, nor did I have any of the appropriate money – Konig was graced with both of those necessities). We talked like there had never been a week and a half of silence between us. He talked about how he had nearly forced Ridgeback to drag me out of my room and into the common area, “… but it would have been too early for that.” He commented. That, and I would have rather died.

So life went on as normal: dreary, aside from shooting people and getting shot at. Nonetheless, it was normal, and there was a peace to be found in that.

I leaned against the building to the training room, with Roze to my left. I had intended to come out and soak up whatever natural light I could – when I saw her standing there, possibly trying to do the same, I felt the instinct to play it off as if I was just leaving the building. But she cocked her head in a greeting, and a part of me took an interest in her worry-free aura. Out of everyone, she always seemed to be the least-stressed person in the room, even in the middle of a warzone. It was the balm to my anxious mind that I never knew I needed, but gratefully stood by.

We remained together in a comfortable silence (one I would most definitely would not have been comfortable with a while ago), staring ahead, watching the indecisiveness of the brooding clouds above. I wondered what the rest of the world was doing – if they might have been as calm and carefree as us, or if they were in some kind of peril, and the horrors of it were blocked out by the clouds.

I was drawn back to the present when I heard the click click click of Roze’s lighter. I turned my head and watched as she shielded the weak flame from the wind, lighting the cigarette that hung loosely from her lips.

“You smoke?” I asked.

“Sure do.” She replied nonchalantly. “Want one?” she extended her pack of cigarettes towards me.

I glanced at the box, feeling a sour taste in my mouth.

I lay on my stomach, my muscles still twitching and shaking as I tried to even out my breaths. Ghost had tossed a thin blanket over my lower half. I hadn’t even moved from the position he had ruthlessly fucked me in – my body ached too much to even try, and my mind was still recovering from the past hour.

I watch Ghost as he reclined next to me, pushing the bottom of his mask up to place a cigarette between his lips. It was the first time I had seen any part of his face all day. He grabbed his lighter from the pocket of his pants that were discarded on the floor, lighting the end of the cigarette and inhaling. He tossed the lighter back down to the floor as he tilted his head back, exhaling a long stream of smoke. I watched it swirl in the lamplight, settling in a cloud around us. He continued puffing, staring at the wall across from the bed as I lay beside him, although I felt worlds away from him.

He'd started off the night with a mountain of stress from a mission gone sideways. Instead of the usual slow build, where he would run his hands under my shirt and kiss my lips slowly and tenderly – he had walked in and immediately demanded I remove my clothes while he began stripping out of his. I had assumed tonight was going to be a passionate one, until he threw me onto my stomach and shoved my face into the pillows. It wasn’t the first time he’d been rough with me, but it wasn’t just rough – it felt dehumanizing. An hour of constant, merciless thrusts, and a hand around my neck that restricted both my blood flow and my oxygen, and I had fallen into a state of shock.

But, in the end, I was happy to be caged in by him again.

I was happy.

He turned his eyes towards me, seeming to sense that something was off. He exhaled another puff of smoke. “Everythin’ alright?” he asked, completely void of any genuine concern.

I met his eyes with my own. I felt like I shouldn’t have to answer the question, and it stirred up a bitterness in me. But I didn’t feel like arguing with him, and I certainly didn’t want him to leave – so I nodded my head, slowly blinking my eyes. “Just tired.”

He hummed and faced the wall again. He brought one of his knees up and rested his arm against it. “Want a smoke?” he asked, still looking away.

I shook my head as much as the pillow beneath me would allow. “No.” I replied.

He sighed disappointedly. Apparently, my lack of enthusiasm after being used like an old fucktoy was irking him.

To be fair, I never spoke up about how I felt.

He grunted and rose from his position, snuffing out his cigarette in the ashtray by my bed, and picking up his clothes and pulling them on. My heart ached slightly as I watched him slide his shirt over his torso. I felt the threat of tears sting in my eyes as I wished his hands were holding me instead, keeping me warm and grounded. He pulled his jeans on and fastened them, buckling his belt rather quickly; and all while he faced away from me.

“Well, I know you probably need some alone time.” He muttered, sliding the skull attachment over his mask. “So I’ll get going. I’ll see you around.”

He grabbed his tactical vest and jacket and slung them over his shoulder. He paused by the door. “Thanks for tonight.” He mumbled, before finally leaving the room and softly closing the door behind him.

My eyes lingered on the ashtray with the half-smoked cigarette. A thin trail of smoke plumed into the air – I wanted to throw the tray across the room and shatter it. But it was Ghost’s, so I couldn’t; I couldn’t regardless, because it was a piece of him that remained with me, even when he left.

That, and the smell of smoke.

“Nah, I’m good.” I replied, facing the cold, empty base ahead of me.

“Good.” She said, pinching the cigarette and blowing a stream of smoke. “Stay that way. Did you know these bastards give you cancer?”

I chuckled into the collar of my jacket. “Do they, now?”

She hummed affirmatively, sucking another breath in through the cancerous bastard. “Who would’ve thought…”

We fell back into silence. I continued watching the stillness of the base, trying to see if the sky would follow through with its promise to fall. Now that my free time wasn’t spent holed up in my room, it somehow felt like there were fewer ways to spend it. With another mission on the horizon – a simple recon, yet dauntingly close to a heavily-guarded compound – no one was out and about when they usually were. Finding Roze outside and seemingly not worried was usual, however, and a warm sight, compared to how the rest of the team was on edge. Even Askel seemed grumpier than most days.

I hadn’t been seeking out someone to spend time with, no… that I would never do (or admit). But talking to a familiar face provided a comfort I had grown to need over the past couple of months. And, frankly, I felt like Konig might be getting tired of how much I ran to him when I craved social interaction. Though he had never said anything about it, I felt like I needed to branch out to other team members than just my Colonel. One might think I was trying to kiss his ass (I knew the accusation had already crossed Juno’s mind, but the young soldier was good at holding his tongue – when Konig was around, at least).

“You ever think about how ‘little girl’ you would react to this?” Roze asked, and I turned to face her. She had her nose scrunched, and a tinge of pink dusted over her cold cheeks. “Guns, war, no playdates or days at the beach…”

I sighed. “Probably would have cried.” I replied, allowing my freezing nose to poke over the collar of my jacket. “Especially if I had known that being a princess now adays meant spending more time worrying about becoming a hostage than anything else.”

Roze chuckled. “It’s a good thing we didn’t know then.” Her face was mostly blank, but I thought I noticed a hint of bitterness in the way her gaze landed on the ground. I watched her flick her cigarette with a bit more aggression than usual. “I would’ve tried to convince my entire family to run away to Scotland, live in hiding and pretend the rest of the world was a dream.”

“Scotland?” I asked. Soap’s cocky grin and heavy Scottish accent stirred in my mind, but it felt like nothing more than a small cloud of dust.

“Yeah – heard it’s fucking gorgeous over there.” She waved her cigarette in no particular direction. “Now, I don’t know how peaceful it is in terms of politics and war, but it’s pretty spacious. Simple, too. I feel like if I talked about throwing all my shit away and becoming a fisherman for a living, I wouldn’t get people trying to talk me out of it like I would in the States.” She took another drag, and laughed out the smoke.

“Fisherman?”

“Yeah.” She chuckled, a hardened smile gracing her lips. “I don’t know why it sounds so appealing… it just does.”

I hummed and looked back out at the compound. I wondered about Roze’s past; she had never said or done anything to indicate that it was particularly rough, as it was for the majority of us (us – I still wasn’t used to including myself, but it was becoming more of a habit each time), but the weariness in her eyes when she spoke about her younger self made me question what that girl had been through. Maybe it was just nostalgia. A yen for simpler times. Roze seemed to appreciate the simple things in life.

“You know Askel goes ice fishing?” she said suddenly.

I smiled underneath my jacket. “Seems like something he would do.”

“Every winter.” She continued. She dropped her cigarette to the floor and crushed it into the gravel. “He takes about three weeks of leave, if we’re lucky enough to get it, and goes to Norway. Sits on a frozen lake for hours a day, just waiting for a fish.”

“You make it sound like he’s never caught one.” I point out, my eyes lingering on the cigarette.

She shrugged her shoulders. “So does he. Every time I ask him what he caught, he just laughs. Says he’s never expects to get a bite.”

I closed my eyes and hummed in response. It was easy to picture the scene – Askel, sitting on a thick layer of ice, nursing the hoppy beers that he and Konig loved so much and waiting for a fish to bite. I wondered if he even bothered to reel the line in when he did catch something. Or if he even went fishing at all. Maybe he just went out there to get a sense of peace, to pretend that war and death didn’t exist.

The motion of thick, heavy snowflakes falling from the sky caught my attention. They landed on the skin of my nose, resisting the warmth for a few moments, before they eventually melted into trickles of water. A sudden gust of wind blew a flurry of them towards us, making the both of us flinch.

Maybe fishing doesn’t sound too bad.

- - - -

The shooting range was mostly silent, save for the occasional conversation between me and Konig. The lights were low, easily illuminating the gunpowder and dust swirling in the air. Konig and I stared at the paper target as we analyzed my shots. A few hit dead center, although most of them were clustered around the lower left of the bullseye. My lips were pursed into a scowl as I glared at my sub-par aim – it wasn’t typically so awful, but of course it was while Konig had been watching.

“Eh, are you sure you didn’t lie on your paperwork about being a sniper?” Konig asked as he stood behind my left shoulder, taking the target from my hands and looking at it closely. “You weren’t even ten yards from it. This is very poor marksmanship.”

I scowled in embarrassment, taking my pistol to the counter and pulling out the mag. “Rough day.” I answered bluntly as I started packing more bullets into the small compartment. It wasn’t a lie – I had barely gotten any sleep the night before. I was in the middle of a rather interesting dream involving me and Ghost, until my alarm woke me up before anything of importance happened.

“Very bad…” he mumbled to himself. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

“Y’know…” I grumbled, loading the mag back into the gun and shoving it in my holster, “I don’t like stereotyping, but the boot really does fit you.” I walked past him and out into the hallway, not waiting for him to follow.

“Hmm?” he made an indignant noise, momentarily stuck in his spot, before he came jogging after me. “What does that mean? What stereotype?”

I chuckled. “Haven’t you ever how Germans are extremely blunt?” I asked.

“Austrian.” He retorted. “Do I need to brand that onto my face for you?”

“Wouldn’t do me much good, with the mask ‘n all.” I replied.

He laughed – rather snorted, as usual – “Ah, you’re right. Maybe I am blunt – just as much as you are defensive.”

I stopped at the end of the hall, right in front of the exit. “Defe-“ I turned on my heel to scowl at him. “I am not defensive! Where did you get that idea?!”

He stopped behind me, his eyes widening. He gestured an open palm in my direction. “This.”

I huffed, turning back around to punch the door open. The snow from earlier that day had ceased, blanketing the base in a thin layer of white. The moon seemed that much brighter against the crystalized ground, and the yellow lights scattered across the compound made parts of the snow look like sandy dunes. My nose tingled from the nip of the chilly air, and I pulled my jacket tighter around my body as the door fell shut behind me and Konig.

“Well, what am I supposed to say when you call me defensive?”

“You could agree.”

“But I don’t.”

“Which proves my point.”

I huffed in frustration, despite the smirk curling on the edges of my lips. “So, either I have to agree with you, whether I really do or don’t, or you’ve corralled me into a paradox.”

I can practically hear the gears turning in his head. “A what?”

“A paradox, like a – y’know, never mind. It’s too difficult to explain.” I let him fall in step next to me, although he was the one who needed to slow down to match my pace. “We can just agree to disagree, how’s that?”

“Agreed.” He nodded, and I chuckled. “It won’t change the fact that I’m right, you know.” He added.

I bit my lip and tried to keep my smile from growing ridiculously larger. I looked up at him and patted his shoulder – he looked down at me, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled back. A stray, reddish-brown curl poked through the side of his balaclava, and I found the miniscule detail warming my heart through the cold air. He felt real, and in this moment, too human for this kind of life.

“Why did you choose the military?” I asked, turning back to look at the ground as we walked.

He hummed. “Isn’t that every boy’s dream?”

“Well, yes – but most of the time, it never becomes more than that.” I responded.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, mimicking my own position. “I’m not really sure what made me push so much for it. I almost didn’t make it, for obvious reasons.”

I chuckled. “Size does matter, huh?”

He looked down at me with a deadpan gaze, one that I refused to meet. “It almost did, in a bad way. And I almost backed out before they could be the ones to turn me away. But, of course, they knew they would find some use for my size – so they took me in.”

“And what did they do with you?” I asked, looking back at him.

“A ‘human battering ram,’ as my superiors had so nicely called it.” He framed the description with his hands in the air, as if it had been written on a plaque. I laughed and looked back down at my feet.

“Seriously?” I asked. “So they just had you breaking down doors, and then what?”

Konig laughed with me. “Well, I still had a gun, so I was able to shoot, thank goodness. And I had a bit more gear so I wouldn’t break my bones against the doors – I still dislocated my shoulder a few times, however…” he rolled his left shoulder, as if there was still a lingering pain from how often he had thrown himself at doors. “It was actually during a period of recovery when I proved that I could still be a sniper. My shoulder was still healing, so I had to give up being a battering ram for a while. I was sat with Horangi on the side of the mountain to give him cover. Of course, he was ambushed – he had to fight the Arschgiege right when we were given the order to shoot, so I had to take position behind the gun.” I noticed that his chest was puffed out a bit from pride. “That really knocked their pants off.”

I chuckled, choosing to ignore the inaccuracy of his phrase. “Did it now?”

“It did.” He replied, then looked at the ground. “For a moment. I got a good earful for overstepping boundaries that day, but it’s what ultimately landed me here – so I’m grateful for it.”

I nodded and hummed. “What was Horangi picked for?”

Konig shrugged, his hands now back in his pockets. “He never said what he and Commander had spoken about in his office. But, even if he wasn’t chosen – I like to think we come as a package. If I go, he goes, if he doesn’t, I don’t.”

I felt my heart warm at his words. The memory of how Juno had described Konig couldn’t be farther from my mind. It almost felt like I was talking to someone I briefly crossed paths with in my youth – not a war criminal, not the bloody and stiff soldier who had stepped onto the heli after our first mission. I envied his ability to separate his work stress from the time he had in between missions.

“Why did you decide to join?” He asked, catching me off guard.

It was only fair that I opened up to him, since he was so willing to do the same. Always the one to go first, too. But I had to be careful. I didn’t want this to turn into a pity party, and I didn’t want to dig anything up that I had worked so hard to bury deep beneath my subconscious.

“I was… a weird kid. Like you.” I said, making Konig scoff and roll his eyes. “Looking back now, I hate my younger self. I was so sensitive to what people thought about me, and I just wanted to be independent and strong. I wanted to be a ‘different girl.’” I gritted out the words that left a sour taste in my mouth. “I think I just wanted attention at first – of course, when I heard how everyone said they hated how annoying teenage girls were, and how gullible and weak they were, it just – it made me change. I wanted to prove everyone wrong, it wasn’t just about being different anymore. So, as soon as I turned old enough, I enlisted. Didn’t get to Navy SEAL right away, of course… but I joined every program I was allowed in until I could submit my application.”

I sighed, then chuckled. “Thought my family would say they were proud, that I was successful, that I was doing a good job… they were just angry. Said I was throwing my life away for business that didn’t involve our country.” I opened my mouth to say more, but I ended up scoffing and closing it once again. I felt like I had shared enough.

I looked at Konig, expecting him to acknowledge what I said. “That’s how the story goes…” he would say. But, when I met his gaze, I only saw concern. His brow was creased with what I imagined was pity, and my stomach churned. It was the exact opposite of the reaction I had hoped for. I only wanted to share stories with him, and now it was… this.

“I think you made the right choices.” He said, and I looked away.

“You don’t need to make me feel better, Konig. I appreciate it, but-“

“I’m not just trying to make you feel better.” He said, his accent slightly thicker from his exasperation. “You’re good at what you do. Your parents are just probably worried for you, and they don’t know how to show it.”

I bit down on my tongue, my eyes settling on the building in front of us with a hard expression. If only.

“Maybe that’s it.” I muttered, hoping he would drop the subject. He seemed to understand, and turned to look ahead with a disappointed sigh. My heart sank the tiniest bit at the sound, and I internally scolded myself. Still a people-pleaser, apparently.

We continued walking in silence, the buzz of the lights above us mimicking the static of a communication system that had been severed in a time where it was needed most. The edge of the barracks appeared into our view, just around the corner of the arsenal sheds that stood between us and our destination. I continued to stare at the ground, pretending to watch my steps and try to not slip on the snowy asphalt. My heart twisted with each second of silence that sat thickly between us. It wasn’t technically a fight, but somehow, it felt worse. It felt like the first time I had pissed him off, the first time we had spoken to each other – and god, did I already hate myself for the way I had acted towards him during those first few weeks. I didn’t want to drive another wedge between us, not after the ones that had already been worked back out.

I exhaled heavily through my nose. “Sorry.” I mumbled quietly, but loud enough that I knew it reached his ears. “Sensitive topics.”

He flitted his eyes in my direction, but didn’t bother to move his head. He sighed, and I nearly jolted when I felt his wide hand on my upper back. It rubbed back and forth, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that he was comforting me. Or, trying to, at least.

“I know.” He said, and his hand rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry for pushing you.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I was stuck on the feeling of the roughness of his palm, which I could gleam through the fabric of my jacket. How his fingers squeezed gently and released twice. There was no hidden meaning, no forced contact or any kind of attempt to put context into the touch. It was… natural. Warm, comforting, and it spoke a thousand words that I wouldn’t have been able to stomach if he had said them. It broke past my self-hatred and walls of ‘don’t be weak’ that I would have used as my defense if he had tried to verbally convey any sort of consolation. It was the first time I didn’t feel awkward about being so close to him, let alone when he was touching me. I wondered if he did this on purpose, or if he had no idea what he was doing at all.

I let myself stand nearer to him, almost tucked under his arm. I looked up and smiled as genuinely as I could – not that it was hard for me, but because I wanted to make sure that he really knew how much I appreciated the gesture. Although, if he knew that this simple act of comfort would pierce through my outer shell, was it really necessary?

“Thank you, Konig.” I said.

He looked down at me and smiled. That damn smile. I wondered how much more refreshing it would be when he wasn’t wearing his mask. It was already too much for my soul to bear when it was just the crinkling in his eyes that I could see.

“Anytime, Bonnie.” He replied, patting my shoulder before tucking his hand back into his pocket. I grieved minimally at the loss of the touch, but I was happy for what it was. “And I mean it. Anytime you need to talk – or not talk, and do that empty staring that you do – just come find me.”

I quirked an eyebrow in his direction. “Anytime?” I asked amusedly.

“Mhm!” Konig replied, his eyes on the ground as he watched his steps. Then, the realization hit him, and his eyes went wide with panic. “Oh- well, eh- I guess, not anytime-“

“You gonna tell me when?” I joked, and he laughed. “You need an open/closed sign on your door.” I jogged ahead, trying to reach the door to the barracks before he did.

“How about this?” he called out, and I could hear the grin behind his mask. “I’ll nail a chalkboard to my door, and if I’m busy, I’ll draw a stick guy jerking off in his bed!”

My cheeks burned after I heard him. “No!” I shrieked, laughing nervously. “You’ll traumatize Juno!” I quickly tried to pin this on someone other than me.

“Juno, hah?” Konig teased, and I had half a mind to run into the building and leave him on the quad. “I don’t care about him. Kid needs to be traumatized.”

I laughed and threw my head back, turning the corner around the arsenal shed. “That’s not very-“

Immediately, my heart leapt into my throat, and I gasped. Konig nearly ran into my back as he skidded to a halt.

Sick, sick, what the fuck, I feel sick-

“Stimmt etwas nicht?” he asked, concerned. “What- oh, scheisse-“

We both stared at the bird on the ground. A crow from the looks of it, though it was hard to even decipher that it was a bird in the first place, due to the state it was in. Its belly had been cut open, entrails and bloody bits pulled from the abdomen and strewn to either side of the bird. Its wings were stretched to their full capacity and most likely beyond it, crushed and missing a large number of feathers. Both of the legs appeared to have been ripped off and tossed to the left of the crow. Its beak was the worst of it all: pried open, the jaw probably broken from how wide it was spread. A haunting look of terror in the crow’s red, glossy eyes made a violent shiver run up my spine.

I exhaled shakily, my eyes still glued to the horror. “Holy shit – what the-“

Konig quickly walked around me and knelt in front of the crow. I shifted to look over his shoulder, still fearfully curious, but he held a hand out behind him, urging me to stay in place. With his other hand, he pulled at one of the bird’s wings, stiff and heavy. Whether it was frozen from the cold, or this was the effects from rigor mortis, I couldn’t tell.

“How – did a fucking fox do that?!” I asked. Are there even foxes in this area? How the hell did one get on base?

“Nein.” Konig replied, still looking at the corpse. His gaze fell upon it with a sense of… familiarity, maybe? “Not a fox, no.”

“Then what? It – whatever it was didn’t even eat-“

“I’ll take care of this.” Was all Konig said. He stood up and marched past me – I was barely able to catch a glimpse of his furious expression. His eyes were hard and narrow, and as he walked away, I noticed that his shoulders were tense and his hands were balled into fists. I didn’t dare say anything to him; he almost looked the same way he did after our first mission together, except this time, his anger seemed to be directed at something, instead of just a post-mission adrenaline high.

“I’ll see you later.” He said over his shoulder. There was an obvious fury to his words, and although I knew it wasn’t intended towards me, it still made me freeze where I stood – almost as if I might anger him more simply by taking a step after him.

Whatever it is… I thought, watching him disappear into the compound, he’s sorting it out. I can take care of myself. Although, with such an abrupt and tense departure, I was at a loss on what to do next. I looked back at the bird; its terrified eyes locked onto the sky above it, frozen in its last wish to fly away from whatever horror it endured.

A shiver ran up my spine, prompting me to look away.

- - - -

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix @v3lv3tvampir3 @theoneandonlykymberlee @luvvnightingalee @dillybuggg @sun-joo @perfectus-in-morte @evilive @satakingslime @comfortless

Please let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Grey Zone 3

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, manipulation, age gap, bullying, toxic parental figures, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your relationship with your parents has never been good, and that with a family friend takes a strange turn(goth!reader)

Character: Lloyd Hansen

Note: I'm tired of being sick

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

You prefer the opening shift. Finishing early gives you extra motivation to make use of the rest of the day. Yet that morning is slogging by like wet sand. You still have an hour left before you’re free and even then, you have hours of studying to catch up on.

You enjoy your work, short of the occasional unpleasant customer. The shop is slow despite its location in the mall, but that’s expected with its niche catalogue. The New Age collection often attracts curious eyes but few purchases. The candles and jewelry sell most often, more marketable to those in the market for a gift or ‘just looking’.

You lean on the counter, doodling with a pen on a strip of receipt paper. Little stars and a crescent moon. The mall is starting to get busier as lunchtime approaches. You twirl the pen and look up, only realising then that you have a customer.

You drop the pen and quickly flit around the counter. It’s a good thing the manager is only in on evening shift. You approach the man perusing the bucket of discount crystals and slow as you recognise the back of his slicked hair. Really?

“Mr. Hansen?” You sputter in surprise.

He turns and smiles at you, a stone in his hand, “hey, little lamb,” he greets coolly, “fancy meeting you here.” You squint as he laughs at your cynical stare, “sarcasm,” he scoffs.

“Oh, uh,” you go to cross your arms but resists, instead hooking your thumbs into the chains attached to your black cargo pants, “are you looking for something?”

“Besides you,” he winks as he drops the stone back in the bucket, “they don’t have the hair gel I like at Carmine’s. Apparently they don’t manufacture that scent anymore. So I was wandering around and I just stumbled in.”

You nod and watch him reach into the bucket and pull out a small shard of lapus lazuli, “you got any Carnelian?”

“Carnelian?” You furrow your brow, “uh, I don’t know. Probably not in there…”

You turn and stride over to the shelf of labeled stones; those ones with a better natural shape or cut. You search the tags and find a small canister of orangish red stones, smooth and ovular; some opaque and few with patches of translucence. 

Lloyd stops beside you, close. Too close. He tends to do that. He crowds you in without realising it. You hold out the container.

“You like crystals?” You ask with an edge of doubt; you didn’t expect he would be into that sort of thing.

“Eh, I’m intrigued,” he takes the canister and examines it, “you know, after you showed me your cards, I was reading around. It’s kinda neat, this stuff. You know, I don’t really buy into the mystic shit but it’s fun.”

“Ah,” you nod. Most people have that opinion. It doesn’t bother you. You’re more pragmatic than dreamy. You accept that you have no control over the world, but you don’t believe there’s any force around that does.

“You got cards here?” He shakes the crystals as he lifts his chin.

“Uh, yeah, just over there,” you point to the other wall.

You back away and go back to the counter. You just need some space. In such a small shop, it’s easy to feel suffocated. He goes to the shelf of tarot cards and you languish in the silence of his perusal.

“There a difference between these things?” He asks.

“No, not really. Just the look.”

“Ah,” he accepts and spins on his heel. He approaches the other side of the counter and places down his purchases. The crystals and a deck of cards with a Roman mythology aesthetic. “Just these.”

You ring him through and he plays with the necklaces on the small rack next to the till. He tilts his head as he examines a piece of amethyst attached to black cord. He lets it dangle and reaches into his back pocket. He presents his card and you pass over the machine.

“When are you done?” He asks.

“Um, in an hour,” you answer.

“Hmm,” he nods as the machine accepts the transaction, “got the whole day ahead of you.”

“Kinda,” you wait for the printer, “want a receipt?”

He shakes his head, smiling at you. You take out a small black bag and put his things inside, sliding it over to him. As he takes it, his hands brush yours.

“Don’t work too hard,” he says.

“Er, sure, thanks,” you eke out awkwardly, “have a good day.”

“Going well so far,” he smirks before he turns away and struts to the door. 

He looks back and you raise your brows at him, perturbed. He finally leaves and you let out a breath. You wonder if he knew you worked there or if it’s as deliberate as it seems. 

You take out your phone and lean on the counter as you key in Carnelian. You don’t know much about the stone and you can’t remember anyone ever asking about it. You nearly choke as you read the description; ‘Carnelian is great for increasing sexual energy…’

Is he trying to embarrass you? Your mind lists to a couple nights before when he sat on your bed. It all seems a bit much, a bit too calculated. You just can’t find the punchline to go with the set up. 

🖤

Meghan shows up to take over for the afternoon. You leave her, intent on your mission. You’ll get your matcha to go and head to the library for your study session. Studying at the cafe had proven too distracting last time.

You get in line, flicking through your phone as you shift with the bodies ahead of you. You hear a rabble behind you as a large group enters, clustering at the end of the queue. You tuck your phone away as you recognise a voice and keep your chin down. You shrink down, hoping to go unnoticed in the busy cafe.

“Oh, look who’s back again,” Shania guffaws, “it’s the dead girl.”

You don’t look back. You have as much right to be here as them. You don’t know why she’s so pressed. There are other coffee shops and no reason for her to associate with you. High school is over. This isn’t the cafeteria, there is no cool table.

“Hey, Morticia,” Kaliana comes up on your left-side, “thanks for saving us a spot.”

They try to push in ahead of you but you step up, blocking them. You keep your head straight as Shania jostles you from the other side. At least this time you don't have anything for them to dump on you.

“Don’t be uncool, face paint,” Shania snarls, “know your place.”

“Go away,” you mutter to your boots.

“I can’t hear you over all that metal,” she reaches out and tugs on your nose ring. “Speak up, little girl.”

“I don’t know how you breathe around that snot catcher,” Kaliana chortles.

You shake your head and cross your arms. You step back and wave to the space in front of you, “fine. Go ahead.”

They girls laugh. They sound like hyenas. As they go to step in front of you, Shania cries out and liquid splashes over her shoulders, dripping down the front of her baby pink crop top. She puts her hands up and turns to face the culprit.

“You loser–” She yipes.

“Didn’t see ya,” Mr. Hansen’s voice brings your eyes up, “watch where you’re walking.”

“What? Me? You–”

“Look, I don’t need some knock off barbie shrieking at me so zip it,” he spits.

“Excuse you! You can’t talk to me like that.”

“I can and I am,” he snickers.

“Ew, you creep, get out of here,” Kaliana steps up next to Shania, “No one wants to hear from you or your dirty porn stache–”

“I didn’t ask, pancakes.”

“Pancakes?” She sniffs.

“Flip, flap,” he motions to his chest with a mean smirk, “if you’re gonna go out in a shirt like that, you could at least put a few socks in your bra.”

“Ugh, you perv–”

“Trust me, you’re the last thing that makes my dick hard,” he curls his lip.

“Whatever,” Shania blusters as she pulls the wet fabric away from her chest, “Kal, let’s go.”

The girls stomp off and you stare after them. Hansen puts down the empty cup and chortles. He turns to stand parallel to you, “well, I don’t know who’s drink that was but I hope they don’t mind.”

“What?”

“Oops,” he shrugs, “so what are we drinking, babe? Hmm. You seem like you got a sweet tooth. White mocha? Caramel?”

“Uh, no–”

“Wait, wait, dark chocolate, that seems more your speed.” You shoot him a look and he meets your eyes. He smiles and tilts his head, “kidding.”

“I can get my own drink,” you insist.

“I’m sure you can, but I want to get it for you.”

“Why?”

“Why?” He repeats.

“Why would you want to do that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You’re not answering me,” you sigh and move up to the counter.

“I don’t know, you make me wanna do nice things,” he says and faces the barista, “black coffee and whatever she wants.”

You hesitate but take your cue. You order your matcha latte and he taps his card. You clamp your lips together. Does he think you’re pathetic? That you need him to pay for a tea?

You go to wait by the order window and sway impatiently. You grip the strap of your bag and stare out into the mall. Hansen leans into you, brushing his arm against you.

“So, couple of bitches, huh?” He says.

“What?” You whip around to face him.

“Those girls.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. We went to school together…”

“Figured,” he shakes his head, “they’re only jealous. Girls like that, they don’t know how to feel anything else. Always a competition.”

“Hm, I guess.”

“Not like you.”

You glance at him then to the counter. You just want to get your tea and leave. You tap your fingers on the strap of your bag.

“So, the lake house,” he changes the subject, “what do you think?”

“Uh, dunno,” you watch the barista at the steaming espresso machine, “dad didn’t say anything.”

“I’m not asking about dad. You ever been to the lake?”

“Which lake?”

He chuckles, “now who’s not answering who?”

You shrug and cross your arm over your chest, rubbing your shoulder. Your order is up. Before you can move, Hansen puts his hand on your lower back, ushering you with him to grab his cup as you claim your own.

You pull away from him as you leave the shop. He keeps pace with you as you try to figure out a way to nicely get rid of him. You didn’t expect to run into him twice. How reappearance convinces you it’s less than coincidental, but would he really wait around the mall just to bother you?

“I should go study…” you say at last.

“Study. Boring,” he comments.

“Maybe but… I have to.”

“Oh, do you always do the right thing?” He prompts.

You don’t know how to answer. You turn the hot cup in your hand as you walk along the mall corridor. 

“No, I don’t know, I…”

“A good girl like you, always doing what you should but never what you want to do,” he says, “did you ever even ask yourself what you want?”

“I.. I don’t know what you mean.”

“You want to what? Study boring books? Get a boring degree? Get a boring job?” He continues, “all so one day you can live in a boring house with a boring husband? And have boring kids?”

“I– I never… I’m just going to school.”

“Because? Because you never thought of doing anything else. Of anything fun. I’m fun, sweetheart.”

You blow across the lid of your tea and taste it. It’s good but you find it hard to enjoy. Not with him there. Not with your mind racing.

“I like being boring,” you say at last.

He snorts, “sure you do. You're whole look screams boring. Well, let me know when you’re really bored, sweetheart. I’ll give you everything you never knew you wanted.”

You peek over at him. His eyes are on you, his cheek dimples. He raises his cup in a toasting gesture and turns on his heel. 

“I’ll be waiting,” he tosses over his shoulder.

You stop and watch his smooth gait. His confidence is almost intimidating. It’s as if he knows things you don’t. You turn away and continue towards the south entrance. Boring is just fine, boring is safe.

🖤

“Shut your fucking mouth!” Your father’s voice carries through the wall.

“Ah, don’t you get fucking rude with me,” your mother slurs back, “fuck you, Ray. Fuck you!”

It’s not unusual. You’ve heard the same argument over and over. It doesn’t matter what starts it, it’s always the same. They yell until they’re hoarse, they slam doors, and in the morning, they act like nothing happened at all.

You put your earbuds in and turn up your music. You know how to tune them out. If you’re good at anything, it’s at shutting out the world around you.

You lay down and close your eyes, holding your phone against your stomach as you mouth the lyrics. You just want to fall asleep but the anxiety of knowing they’re fighting keeps you awake. You just need to wait it out.

Your phone buzzes but you ignore it. It’s probably just an email or another notification trying to make you spend money. You focus on the layers of the music; the strings, the percussion, the vocals. Your phone goes off again.

You raise it and open your eyes, the screen fuzzy as your eyes adjust to the darkness. You tap the speech bubble that signifies a new message. The number is private.

‘Getting packed?’ The message reads. You have no idea what it means. You send back, ‘wrong number’. Three dots pop up immediately.

‘No it’s not.’ The answer comes swiftly. You return a question mark and nothing else.

‘You’re going to need a good jacket for the lake house.’

You rub your forehead and sit up. You key in, ‘Mr. Hansen?’

‘The one and only.’ He confirms. How did he get your number? ‘If you don’t have one, we can take a shopping trip.’

You don’t get it. What does he want from you? You know the way he is, you’ve heard the way he talks about other people, you hear the stuff he says to your dad. Their friendship at most is acrimonious. Is this a ploy against your father?

‘I have a jacket. I’m sleeping. Good night.’

You lay down and turn onto your side, keeping the ear bud from slipping out as you put your phone beside your pillow. It lights up with a new message. You close your eyes. You lay in the storm of your nerves. You have to check. You reach for your phone and read the screen.

‘No you’re not’.

You don’t understand. How would he know? He’s bluffing. You won’t entertain his little games, he’s just messing with you. Just like everyone else.

[captaintoomanybattles]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

(Not sure which blog would be best to send it)

Thank you so much for the ask! This is the blog I normally post fic on, so this is perfect.

Five favorite fics I've written:

Not a Perfect Soldier: This was the first long fic I finished, and I'm still really proud of it. Steve in canon has a lot of agency (even if I think SHIELD definitely tries to manipulate him), so I was fascinated with the idea of what would change if he started out in captivity.

In a world where HYDRA was wiped out in the '40s, Steve is found by the Army rather than SHIELD. General Thaddeus Ross wants a perfectly obedient super-soldier at his command, and to that end, he sets out to break Steve to his will. As Steve struggles to come to terms with all he has lost, his life in captivity is only made bearable by the presence of another prisoner-- another super-soldier known only as "Soldat". Then the Avengers strike a deal with Ross to "borrow" him for missions, and Steve is faced with a team who dislikes him, an organization he doesn't trust, and the question of what he's willing to do to escape Ross's clutches.

The Kind You Save: I love exploring the idea of what Steve would be like as the Winter Soldier, and what the Winter Soldiers would be like if there were two of them. I also love Sam Wilson, and it was really fun to write the relationship between the three of them!

When HYDRA sends the Winter Soldiers to assassinate the new Captain America, they expect the mission to be an easy one. After all, they're super-soldiers-- how hard can it be to kill one unenhanced human? As more and more of their attempts prove unsuccessful, however, the Soldiers' respect for Wilson grows, as does their suspicion that HYDRA's motives are not what they seem. If Sam Wilson is a good man, what does that make them…?

Six Blade Knife: Another fic with Steve and Bucky as Winter Soldiers. This is basically exploring how the Soldiers, conditioned to expect the worst possible treatment, would react to a kinder captivity with the Avengers. I started a WIP with this premise a long time ago but didn't really know where to go with it; I ended up sharing it with ZepysGirl, who helped me figure out an actual plot!

During a raid on an AIM base, the Avengers find a pair of cryotubes in a basement laboratory. When they release the men inside, they find that they are none other than the Winter Soldiers, the assassins so mysterious that most people in the Intelligence community consider them little more than a ghost story. However, as they learn more about the Soldiers, Sam and Natasha begin to suspect that the Soldiers may not have been operating under their own free will. Soldat and Kapitan wake from cryo to new handlers unlike anyone they've encountered before. Captain Wilson and Agent Romanoff seem to have no interest in hurting them, wiping their memories, or sending them on missions. As the Soldiers adapt to this kinder status quo, they must decide how far they are willing to go to protect their new handlers from their old ones.

Brave Soldier Boy (Comes Marching Home): This was a response to a bingo prompt featuring Winifred Barnes. Canon doesn't give us much information about Bucky and Steve's relationships with their families, so I really enjoyed exploring Winifred's point of view!

Ten years after losing her son in the war, Winnifred Barnes receives an unexpected visitor. The Winter Soldier needs her help with an important mission.

I Just Want You to Know Who I Am: This was based on a prompt from BulkyPhrase. It was really interesting to explore what might have happened differently if the serum made Steve look like Red Skull. How would that affect other people's treatment of Steve, and how would it affect Steve's conception of himself?

By the time Steve Rogers was selected for Project Rebirth, Erskine thought he had eliminated the side effect that turned Johann Schmidt into Red Skull. He was wrong. This story explores the question: What would change if the serum caused Steve to look like Red Skull?

[cfr749]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the wonderfully kind and lovely @coraclavia. If you haven't checked out her work, go do it right now!!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 19

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 354,235

3. What fandoms do you write for? The Rookie!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Beneath Your Beautiful... queue Isn't it ironic by Alanis Morissette 😬

Want You to Stay

However Do You Want Me

One Time Thing

Lucy's Little Secret

5. Do you respond to comments?

I absolutely try to, but sometimes I get behind. Tbh I usually want to respond the minute I see one come in, but don't want to scare anyone lmao. But I read every single one, often multiple times. And you might just get a response from me two years later 😂

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh man... I think this has to be We Built Sandcastles, because I have yet to give it an ending and it hurts me too. I'm so sorry. 😭

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm gonna go with However Do You Want Me... what's happier than banging on an airplane to save the world?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really... thankfully, 99.9% of the interaction I've had on my fics has been positive and that's a testament to how wonderfully supportive this fandom is of its creators 😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yup... the horny kind? Lol... queue Lovin on Me by Jack Harlow. I am pretty vanilla, and I do usually focus a lot on the emotional aspects over the physical. I also generally prefer writing the foreplay over the actual tactics of banging, but I try.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Lol... well... one time when I was 13 I may have written an AU where Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter were normal boys attending the same high school 😂...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully, I don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I don't think so, but any time someone does comment on one of my fics in another language, I am just honored and blown away that they found it entertaining enough to work through the language barrier.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Want You to Stay with the amazing @poppypickle. I will always be so thankful that the Chenford fandom brought us together, and so grateful for that creative experience. Truly one of the coolest things I've ever done. ❤️

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I think Chenford still holds this crown.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

We Built Sandcastles, but I actually haven't written anything I've truly given up on. I still think about this universe and write down bits and pieces here and there. I'm also still working on Beneath Your Beautiful!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Weird reality TV AUs? Sexual tension? Feelings?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably too much exposition / time in the character's heads spelling out their motivations vs. letting readers come to their own conclusions.

I'm not always consciously aware of it in my own writing, but sometimes I suspect I'm a little sappier than what I'd normally I prefer to read.

Also I'm slow and sometimes leave my readers hanging for extremely long periods of time (I'm so sorry).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the context, but, for me, I'd have a hard time without a native speaker to consult with. No strong feelings against it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

BSB + NSYNC

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm going to go with one I haven't mentioned yet, which is Cruel Summer because that fic was utterly batshit, came out of literally nowhere, and was so much fun to write!

--

Thanks for the tag, Cora!

I am tagging @poppypickle @queseraone @goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo @rememberthismomentx @thisnightissparkling089 @makeitastrength and @summerongrand (apologies if y'all have already done this and I missed it)!

[anonymousreader4d7]

4. And 13. For the art ask game :3

Oh! OH! *bouncing excitedly* Okay!

Okay, so 4 is "A piece you wish got more love". For that, I'd probably say either my Team TIES MCC art, my og Boatem Grian piece (because his feathers, guys, his feathers and wings and the whole pose???), or my Gambler Skizz design...

The Team TIES didn't get quite as finished as I'd originally wanted, and there are little details I'd change now, but... I still absolutely adore it. It's... Definitely one of my favorite pieces I've done in... Quite a while.

The Boatem Series Grian I did was... So much fun, and is still one of my favorite pieces I've done of Grian (and it's, like, over 2 years old). The Mumbo and Pearl from that same series are also stunning pieces, some of my favorite works too - the Pearl has by far gotten the most attention. (Also, that Boatem Scar is the origin of my design idea for his leg braces!!!)

As for Gambler Skizz... I really enjoyed doing it, adding the little card/gambling motifs in and adjusting his basic suit to make it a little more... Flashy. He's a little inspired by Aventurine's design from Honkai Star Rail, who's one of my favorite HSR characters, so that was a lot of fun! And... Skizz always deserves more love.

(and as a bonus non-Hermits piece - my Abyss Dragon Ajax designs, both the one for Amanveth's (@friendly-neighbourhood-archon's) After Everything fic and my own design that's more Foul Legacy based... Both were so much fun to draw!!!)

As for number 13 "Talk about a wip you like"... I'm gonna talk about 2 here. One is my Full Hermits Napping Piece, which I started around the time S9 was ending. I'm probably going to make some edits now, after everything that's happened since planning it out (Skizz & Joel's joining and Iskall & Stress's resigning both) but I'm... I'm so so so pleased with how it's going so far, I love the concept, I... It's delightful. I've posted a few little snippets of the WIP so far, but the concept is a giant Hermit cuddle-puddle/slumber party (originally as a between seasons kind of thing, but... That ship has kinda sailed, XD) and I'm enjoying drawing all the sleepy hermits all flopped over and against each other. It's great. It's taking so long though, because I'm not great at keeping motivation (too many ideas, too little time) and also it's... It's in my full style, not the chibi-esque, so it's detailed and complicated and tedious. But so so fun.

As for the second one - RMAU-Verse Trueforms Imp and Skizz. This one is a lot closer to done, but... little edits/additional details need to be made. Impulse needs more work than Skizz, but... They look cool, even if not quite what's in my head yet... I do really like them though, and I'm looking forward to eventually finishing them...

...okay, 2 more I thought of just now - my week 2 of Imp&SkizzTober piece, which is a hug/preening/trust piece that... I can't wait for that to turn out, it feels so soft and getting Skizz's wings just right was... An endeavor but they look great now, and Impulse's wings somehow turned out perfect in the rough sketch and... I'm just excited by how soft it makes me feel. And bonus 2 is my RMAU-Verse Grian and Mumbo in Watcher regalia... They look super cool, and they're actually mainly complete (it's the other little side drawings that need completing, but my brain is currently more Imp and Skizz obsessed so... It's kinda on the back burner) and I'm really pleased with how the outfits and wings and... Watcher-y bits all turned out. Especially for also starting it like... I think 2 years ago???

Anyways!!! Thanks so much for asking, I had waaayyyyyyy too much fun rambling about all of this and got super excited to see this ask! Thanks again for asking, I hope you liked the responses (and it wasn't too much, XD)!!!

[look-i-love-u]

Tag Game Wednesday

Gone full week and arrived at Wednesday again. Oops.

This is totally last week's one.

thank you for tagging me: @vintagelacerosette, @jrooc, @shippergirl121fic, @energievie, @ian-galagher, @blue-disco-lights @michellemisfit

Name and A03 handle: Vey, miss_snowwhitepink

Current Location: on the couch, sipping water, trying to get better hydrated

Favourite picrew:

What's one thing you want in a picrew? more body types, more fantasy, more pets

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom?

Fuck-U-Up Mug

Why is it your favourite?

Painted this mug for the first gallacrafts theme and I still love it and use it almost daily. It's still looking as good as day one. And it made me write a little one-shot to go with

Did it come easily or was it hard to create?

It was the first time I tried to draw a lily. So that was a bit of an adventure. The baking of the mug to fix the colour was a bit nerve-wrecking too as I feared it would break in the oven. But it all worked out just fine :)

Last ao3 fic you commented on? It's been a while since I read ffs. I've been on a "sports guys hooking up and finding love" binge read lately, so I've read about ten books or so in the last few months and not a single ff. O.o

The last comment I wrote that got a reply was Evie's "When you say nothing at all"

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? I don't really read WIPs since my early fandom days and getting burned by them. But that's about half my lifetime ago and I can't remember a specific story.

So I'll say all the WIPs in my doc drafts and especially the three collabs that I was super excited about my writing partner(s) weren't and they never even took off or got abandoned quite early on.

Favourite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic?

Oh, so many! Any and all AUs - as I love to see them find each other in every universe.

Soulmate!Aus especially. Hurt/Comfort. Pining! Long burn! Yes! Give me all the delayed gratification and the good stomach tingles from it!

Least favourite? Break-Up/Second chance fics, probably. I'm all about them getting together the first time and then hopefully living their happily ever after.

Also sick!fics and character deaths. Real life got enough of that. I don't want to read it in my escape media as well.

Secret or surprising kink or trope?

From hand holding to monsterfuckery - I'm a pretty open book when it comes to my kinks, I think. No secrets to uncover here.

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new?

Elated. Happy. Nervously excited. Eager to share it.

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line:

Time pressure and a sense of responsibility.

Works for my work writing, works for fun writing. It's also probably the only reason I still remember to write a Galladrabble each week. XD

And getting a good response to what I did. Serotonine works wonders for my motivation and creativity.

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? Scroll through tumblr. Look at amazing pretty art and send my faves to people who I know share my love for it.

[lamuradex]

Friday Kiss Tag ❤️

Thank you for the tag @the-golden-comet. Always appreciated.

Rules: From Your Story/WIP, share a kiss. It can be any kiss, from familial pecks on the cheek, forehead kisses, platonic smooches, to full-blown makeouts.

And for excerpts without a kiss, you can use this post as a writing share! :

Rules: Share a snippet of your writing!

Haven't done in tag in over a week. Been buried in trying to keep the momentum up to get Ninth Realm finished.

A lot of fun so far with a lot more romance in it than I initially planned, but that isn't a bad thing. So, let's have a kiss.

Barely a kiss, but we do later find them in bed together, so yeah.

Anyway. Here we go:

-

Some time on the rowing machine, and then onto the treadmill. He was a half a mile into his run when he became aware of someone else. Hunter was waiting in the doorway in sports gear.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

“I’ve never minded before,” Mike answered, slowing his run so he could talk.

“I know. It’s just things feel different now. Didn’t know if maybe you wanted to be alone.”

“Do you know what? I think I’ve been alone enough recently. I can’t think about all this shit anymore. False memories, evil scientists, aliens, Reggie…” His voice cracked but he swallowed and soldiered on. “I need to do something. And if it isn’t hunting down those creeps responsible, then it’s this.” He stopped the machine so he could lift some weights instead.

"You should have a spotter,” Hunter agreed.

Mike shot him a small look. He was only doing dumbbell curls.

“Sorry, clumsy metaphor,” Hunter explained. “What I meant is, you don’t have to do things alone. You know that, right?”

“I do. It’s just difficult. I can never just ask…”

“I get that,” Hunter smiled. “Pride cometh before the fall though. I used to hate asking my parents, or anyone for that matter, for any kind of help. But then I realised something. Your friends want to know how to help you. They want you to tell them.”

“It’s just…” Mike hesitated, formulating the thought. “I don’t really know what to do anymore. Without him.”

“Hey, welcome to the boat. We’re all in it,” Hunter patted his shoulder. “We’ll find a direction though. We’ve got one for the moment, hunting Solace. After that… we’ll work that out too, I’m sure of it. People have work, we’ll do jobs. Simple.”

Mike didn’t looked convinced, but he did smirk. “You ever thought of being a motivational speaker, Hunter? Because I’d advise against it.”

“Ouch!” Hunter said cattily. “All I mean is, we’ll keep doing stuff together. We’re a team. We’re all friends. More than that in places, but we’re all together. You understand that, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t walk out on you guys.”

“Always good to hear, but you don’t need to do it alone, is all. You don’t need to do anything alone." Hunter came and sat beside him. “There are things people can do together.”

Mike curled an eyebrow alongside his arm. “Another clumsy metaphor?”

“Less a metaphor, more a… double-entendre.”

“A clumsy one,” Mike chuckled. “But, before we do anything else, let’s get a workout in.”

“I can think of a good workout.”

Mike stared over his shades at him.

“Alright, that was a clumsy metaphor,” Hunter admitted, putting a hand on Mike’s shoulder and leaning in to kiss his cheek.

-

And there we go. Having a lot of fun with this book, so I'll still be pretty quiet until it's finished most probably. I'm 80K words in and still have a way to go.

Anyway tags:

@wintherlywords @stephtuckerauthor @fayeiswriting @mikathewriter @sableglass @agirlandherquill

By the way, if anyone doesn't want to be tagged, or alternatively would love to be tagged, feel free to let me know. Currently I'm just tagging Writeblr mutuals, as best as I can work out.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

10, 13, 24 for the writer asks, please!

Thank you for the asks! im sorry it took a while to write a response to these!

From these asks

10. What is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

This is not hard to answer, but it is embarassing.

8 years and still going.

I started writing Age of Aquarius Part 2, the second in my "holy god i didnt anticipate how long this would be" post-canon series in.... 2016. it ran right into the Americorps and grad school years of my 20s, when i was working and studying so much that i wrote the least of any other time in my life. and then in that time I rediscovered Star Trek, discovered Trek fandom for the first time, and the sheer amount of engagement i found there really inspired so much fic that i had to follow that impulse. it has been amazing. i have gotten so so so much better as a writer thanks to the range of writing ideas ive been driven and challenged to attempt, and have found such a robust community too. Al that writing experience and experimentarion made the work i have been able to put in on Age of Aquarius (and Sailor Moon H) so so much better.

but Aquarius has languished for it. and my small but amazing community of Sailor Moon friends is the only reason ive kept writing it - for them, because theyve been with me so long through everything and I know how much they love it.

I entered the WIP Big Bang with Aquarius this year. im not sure if i will finish it in time for the end of the challenge but i know what happens in every chapter and slowly but surely im making progress. That is nice to feel 🥰

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I've never written for Star Trek Strange New Worlds or for RWBY. And I only wrote a little for Madam Secretary. All three have really compelling characters I'd love to sink my teeth into given the right time and the right idea. Especially RWBY if it never gets a new season, I have been yearning to see what happens in Vacuo and after the Wonderland arc and if the canon doesn't continue now that Rooster Teeth has folded, i would feel really motivated to try to imagine an ending for myself

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

Books and Video games. Both ways i can enjoy a story i didnt have to create myself. or doing something physical instead that lets the creative part of my brain rest. I'd also travel more if i could. it's a great way to find new things that inspire you!

[potetosaradas]

18. How many WIPs do you have and how many do you expect to finish?

Also, These were good ones, now I wanna know your answers too lol:

16. What do you struggle with most when writing?

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

18. How many WIPs do you have and how many do you expect to finish?

ooof HAHA I just counted but I have 11 wips in total with 4 solid leads going somewhere (i at least have words on the page HAHA) one is a longfic that im still plotting out, but if i can ever get that very self indulgent AU into typed form, ill be very happy ;w;

i hope by the time the new season is out, i can get at least those 4 out haha

16. What do you struggle with most when writing?

between finding the motivation to actually write, i feel like i struggle a lot with nailing the right dialogue without coming across as too ooc/bland. I also have a nasty habit of re-reading my work and falling out with the initial concepts and needing to rewrite EVERYTHING from the beginning aaaaa :// quite frustrating -.-

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

The otp that i enjoy writing for is vague at best and nonexistent at worst LOL (it didn't really exist until last year) when i first started writing for them, i didnt have a very clear picture of their relationship (i knew what kind of vibes but the SPECIFICS...) but lately as of this year, something has really really clicked for me and i've really enjoyed portraying the ship with more confidence ;w; (despite there being practically zero basis for anything in canon LOL)

Thanks for asking, friend!!! i was worried i may have asked too many questions but i was delighted to read all your responses :D

[blazingorchid]

WIP for an upcoming LuNami Fic

Here’s a snippet from something I’m cooking. This was very therapeutic for me to write. I loved it all so much, i wanted to share. We all need a friendship like this. I hope you all enjoy! 💕💕

When Usopp opened Nami’s front door, he was met with pitch black darkness. He quickly reached to his right; feeling for the switch on the wall and flipping it on.

Nami’s apartment was small. The entrance led immediately into her living room. An open door frame to the left led to the kitchen. A small hallway straight ahead made room for one bedroom at the very end and a bathroom to the left. There wasn’t very much furniture. Just the necessities. The only thing extra really was a small flat screen that was placed on a cheap table she’d found at a garage sale.

Nami didn’t spend frivolously for the most part. Sure, she’d splurge on clothes and bags. Maybe even jewelry. However, her phone was an older model and the laptop she’d use for school was refurbished.

He had come to learn that the façade that Nami showcased in public was starkly different to who she truly was.

She was beautiful and knew it. Egocentric in some ways. But, she was also incredibly shy in weird times. Compliment her looks, and she’d give a curt smile as a thanks. However, tell her that her paintings are incredible, she’d turn into a giggling mess and turn bright red.

Usopp scanned the living room. Her satchel laid on the floor in front of her futon. Her phone was on one of the cushions. So, he made his way down the hall.

Her love for money was something she voiced often. On the weekends, she’d work part time at a cafe in the mornings and a five star restaurant at nights. She saved almost obsessively and hid stacks of cash in odd areas. But despite her money motivated ways, she refused to charge the single moms in her apartment complex when they would ask her to watch their kids so they could work. The ones she did charge, who could afford to pay more, she’d only make pay for lunch or any small necessities. It was almost ironic that the job that could prove to be her most lucrative endeavor would be the one she didn’t charge enough for. Simply because she loved kids and respected their hardworking parents.

Coming up to her bathroom, he noticed the crease had a dim light seeping through.He knocked on the door with one hand and placed the other one on the knob. He called her name after placing an ear on the door.

The biggest misunderstanding was that Nami was cold hearted. Usopp had been a victim of this misconception himself. At the beginning of the year, Nami simply went to class and wrote her notes. She didn’t spare much time conversing with their peers. To those who had approached her; which were usually men looking for a chance at a date or just a night of fun, she’d give them blank stares. Sometimes she wouldn’t even let them finish their sentences before bluntly rejecting their advances. If people tried to continue after such a response, she simply turned her face to the window or to her notes.

But through a project in which they had to work together, Usopp had come to know that cold was the very opposite of what Nami was.

Fiery hair with burning eyes. An attitude that blazed like wildfire and a smile that put the sun to shame… Nami was warm and bright.

In fact, she was so bright all the time that Usopp tended to forget Nami was also more sensitive than anyone could imagine.

Something that he was currently reminded of as he opened the door and found her huddled within herself in the bathtub. She was rocking back and forth, her head tucked between her knees. Her sobs echoed off the tiled walls. She looked up when she heard him enter. Her eyes were swollen; snot and tears mixing as both pooled from their respective places. Her bottom lip trembled violently.

“U-Usopp.” She called to him. Maybe it was question. Maybe it was an observation. But whatever it was didn’t matter.

He quickly walked to her and crouched. His hands cupped her cheeks. He soothed loose hair out of her face while also trying wipe her cheeks with his sleeve.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. I got ya.” He said softly.

She moved forward so that she could hug him tightly. Once she was secured in his arms, she began to sob just as loudly … actually more loudly than before. This time she had someone willing to hear her. Someone who didn’t feel the need shy from.

He was her best friend and she was his. There was no shame to be had

[sapphicscholar]

10, 12, 21?

thanks for these! Let's see what we've got!

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

Okay if the question was which am I the happiest *to have written* this would be a different answer (indulgence), but re the actual writing process, I think Two corpses. Everything's fine. has gotta be at the top! It was nice to have something that was largely pretty silly (a murder mystery) where Ava and Deborah were simultaneously trying to work out their own interpersonal issues while also playing their parts in the game and getting totally misread by everyone around them!

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

Hmm, Adrift (Hacks historical pirate AU) is up there because it's far from my normal genre (much more action-heavy), required a fair amount of research to be close to historically accurate (which is, for better or worse, one of those things I'm really committed to), and just didn't get a ton of interaction (I know lots of folks don't read AUs, even more don't read historical AUs, and plenty don't read WIPs until they're done, but it was the first time in a while I chose to start posting while I was still writing, in large part because lots of folks were so bummed about the tag being quiet, and it was hard to keep up motivation after that). I wrote and posted 3 chapters, but the combo of all those things definitely bumped it down my priority list - it'll get finished, but all things considered, it'll probably say in the back seat until I've made it through work commitment stuff unfortunately!

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Ooh the one I posted in response to @ensorcei is probably up there, but from the same fic (indulgence) is this back and forth because I just really love the rhythm these two characters sink into when they're at each other's throats (because they so often show their cards and give away just how much they care even at the height of their cruelty!)

Blanche’s scowl deepens. “Your talent got you here. Own your achievements.”

“You think you could have lured me from France?” Judith asks with an incredulous laugh.

“All it took was a tawdry affair with a boring American. It can’t have been that hard.” Blanche finds herself leaning in closer, her voice growing more and more ardent. “He can offer you what? Sex? Stability? I gave you the world. A career. A name for yourself.”

“And I want both!”

“You can’t just have both.” Every inch Blanche has ever taken has been a battle, and there has never been a victory without its concessions.

“No, Blanche. No. You think you can’t have both.” Something twists uncomfortably in Blanche’s gut. “You sit there and act superior telling yourself no again and again and again. But all you’re really doing is hiding. Ceding ground before you can even risk losing it.”

[heartfeltletters-written]

20 questions for writers tag game!

tagged by @widebrimmedhatsblog (thank you so much!!)

Total number of AO3 works

Six 

Total AO3 word count

150,968

Fandoms I’ve written in

Empyrean, Harry Potter and One direction

Top 5 fics by kudos

we never knew peace; here at your doorway; the ghost scar; when the flames burned green the dragons danced; between me and louis (this fic is a fever dream I do not remember it lmao)

Do I respond to comments? 

I always do !! or at least i try my best. I absolutely love receiving comments it's my motivation to keep sharing my writing tbh the least I can do is answer my readers !! i reread the comments an obscene amount of times so yeah I always answer

What has the angstiest ending? 

when the flames burned green the dragons danced. i mean it is inspired by blood & cheese of hotd so obviously its very very angsty and sad and just tragic.

What has the happiest ending? 

idk about happy fics, since i haven't finished my big fics but maybe here at your doorway has the happiest ending.

Have I received hate? 

Yes both in HP fandom and in the Empyrean (although I have to say this fandom is much more chill) and it's awful lmao. stopped me from writing for a few months and it was just so ??? because it's always hate about how I handle my characters and my plot and just ... omg go write your own fic then ?? But yeah if you have nothing nice to say then don't say it

Do I write smut? And what kind? 

I have written smut but most of it isn't published lmao. I write all kinds of smut like idk what u mean by that lmao. kinky, soft like idk

Do I write crossovers? 

I haven't written any !!

Have I ever had a fic stolen? 

Nope! and thank god for that

Have I ever had a fic translated?

Nope! My fics are not worthy of a translation lmao

Have I ever co written a fic? 

Yes I have !! but tbh we were both on the verge of sleep when we did it it was like 3am and I remember almost nothing of the process except it was so much fun. 

What is my all time favorite ship? 

According to Ao3 its Daemyra and Riorgail but i will always have a very special place in my heart for both hinny and jily. like those are my first loves fr and what got me into fanfiction

A WIP I’ll never finish?

I have a few thousand words of a riorgail canon divergence au where violet figures out venin are real after reading the note from her dad and confronts xaden about it. i started writing it before iron flame came out but at this point I don't think I'll ever finish it lmao.

Writing strengths? 

I get a lot of comments saying I write trauma responses really well (what does that say about me lmao) and also characterizations which is baffling bc I've always thought that was one of my weaknesses so I'm really happy.

Writing weaknesses?

I really struggle with writing dialogue i overthink it too much sometimes trying really hard to not sound cringy, Sally Rooney has helped a lot with that btw !! and I would also say I sometimes forget what I wrote in previous chapters so it can be hard to follow along some plots I introduced. I think I have the same problem as GRRM I want to create so many storylines and lore that I sometimes lose myself and idk what to do with so much information but oh well

Do I like foreign language dialogue? 

I do! Especially when i speak the language the character is speaking lmao. but one thing that annoys me is pronunciations, like for example hangrid and fleur like omg just write it in English or make her speak french !! but other than that I do love it. i don't think I'll ever write it tho

First fandom I wrote for? 

One direction (i was 15 guys and deep into the larry lore)

Favorite fic I’ve written? 

We never knew peace definitely. That's my baby, i work so hard on it and I think it's coming together much better than I expected. My writing has improved a lot and I think that fic is the prime example of that. I also really like what I've done with both violet and xaden in there.

I'd like to tag: @creative-girl; (and i feel like every other writer i know has done this already so yeah if u haven't feel free to)

[bahbahhh]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @novantinuum and @marimbles. thanks friends! <3 I loved reading your responses.

__

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

ten!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

108,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda. I like what I like. I have dabbled with FFX, too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the killing moon

begin again

desire path

like someone would

windows

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Honestly, it means so much that people take time out of their day to let me know their thoughts/reactions to my stuff. I love the interaction, and I've shared this story before, but it was @embyrinitalics outreaching to let me know she enjoyed the killing moon (which had been on hiatus for YEARS) that help spring-boarded me into creativity again. A lot of these comments keep me motivated and energized, so I want to let people know I pay attention and care.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

LOL this is hard. Angst is my jam.

I'm tempted to say the Killing Moon but probably almost beautiful? It's the death memory from botw and it's a oneshot without any resolution whatsoever.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is a tie between begin again and desire path.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten some coldish comments, but not direct hate. I don't understand it. If you don't like something, just move on by? It's free content. It literally takes so much more of your previous energy to generate hate. Put it somewhere else. Find something else you actually like and pour love into that. Or as my kid's favorite book right bow Teeth are not for biting (send help) says "Try this instead: take a break, drink a cold drink, take a rest, get a hug!"

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written ONE smut fit. I was possessed by an idea. It is not my wheelhouse for sure. It was porn with plotish and I had more fun with the dialogue between the side characters than the actual sexy stuff. And I'm me, so it was sexy yet depressing LOL

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I wrote a FFX x BotW oneshot a few years ago that I actually took off my ao3.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I feel like this would be fun with the right idea. I really like doing collabs for events.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelink!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm a little worried about currents. I love the idea in my head, but its very VERY specific writing and of course I started it right before linktober and now my brain is all about the depths au. It's hard for me to switch gears.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love a good turn of phrase, man.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get BIG ideas and a lot of them and a lot of the time, I get lost in them. This happened in The Killing Moon. Of course, it was my first stab at fanfiction and I decided to write a massive multichapter monster, and perhaps, that is evidence enough for you, but I had so many ideas for the story/conflict/direction and I didn't spend enough time organizing it and weeding out what I don't need. I think it translated okay because of the mystery leading up to TotK and the fact I was working with characters that were trying to make sense of lost, incomplete, and inconsistently reported history over 10,000 but

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think the most important question a writer can ask themselves when doing this in a fic is "why am I doing this?" And then close follow up to that is "how can I do this correctly and respectfully?"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

LoZ

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I really, really love like someone would. I love the complex characterization of Link and have carried it forward into other pieces. It's one big love letter to botw side quests and zelink and was also written in tribute to two of my favorite fanfiction pieces by others.

_

tagging: @embyrinitalics @fioreofthemarch @zeldaelmo @flutefemme

[daniclaytcn]

20 Questions for fic Writers!

i was tagged by @lover-of-mine of mine, thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

131,694

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i currently write only for 911, but i've also written fic for once upon a time!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the feeling you can know so much (without knowing anything at all) — a 5x09 coda where eddie calls buck out on what he's doing with taylor 'cause you were never mine — a 5x14 coda where the instructor at the equestrian centre assumes that buck is chris' other dad dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round — my very first 911 fic! it's just pure fluff where buck and eddie get together while buck is babysitting jee (who has a different name in the fic since it was written before 4B, rip) hustling for the good life (never thought i'd meet you here) — different first meeting AU where buck and eddie meet at adriana's wedding, pre-canon how long (till we call this love?) — post s6 finale, where buck and eddie fight over natalia and marisol; have a ton of misunderstandings, but eventually get together

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i haven't always been the greatest at responding, but i've been doing my best on all my latest fics, because people are just so kind and i always feel like they deserve a response :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hm, i haven't really written fics that end unhappily...but humari adhuri kahani (our incomplete story), where buck and eddie don't end up together

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hm, maybe hustling for the good life (never thought i meet you here) because buck and eddie get together a lot sooner and they actually communicate in this fic xD

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i vaguely remember once getting a nasty comment on an ouat fic, but that was the only one.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i don't, usually...in my recent fic, but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down), i wrote a very brief description of a sex scene, but i've never written more than that.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i've never written one

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

twice! one of them wasn't on ao3, but the other, humari adhuri kahani (our incomplete story) i co-wrote with @bieddiediaz and @queerdiaz!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

probably buddie xD but captain swan (ouat) comes pretty close!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my buddie flower shop AU that i started a couple of months back, but never had the motivation to write lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i have a strong grasp on characterization, which is something that people have often told me, and which is probably the most important thing to me while writing fic

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i'm...not Great at writing long fics xD most of my fics are less than 5k, and i have only a handful that have gone beyond 10k. i'm still struggling with the commitment and skill it takes to write a long fic

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i haven't tried to write in anything other than english, so i wouldn't know

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i think it was some anime fandom back when i was still going through that phase, but i barely remember it now

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

my most recent fic, but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down)! this fic is my baby and i poured so much into it, and the response to it has been so heartwarming :)

i don't know who's already done this, but no-pressure tagging: @tawaifeddiediaz @hattalove @henswilsons @messyhairdiaz @eddiebabygirldiaz and anyone else who wants to do this!