#thank you brother

[pasteldaifuku]

My Faraway Aubrey plush came today!

Mari now has a friend!

[bunbunsheart]

cola :b

[lonely-cereal]

LOOK AT THE SMOLS

[bolontiku]

Whoops.. I forgot to eat today

Luckily, the brother ordered food for me. What we had in the fridge was inedible. I came home to find ribs, Mac n cheese, and mashed potatoes waiting for me. Sat down to relax for a second and ended up almost forgetting the reason why I was chilling. Started on the food.

I think I legit blacked out. I don't remember stopping for a drink or breathing. Just became conscious again once I had finished. Had ribs all over my face.

Da fuck? I really need to learn how to feed myself. 🤦‍♀️

[goldensunset]

me trying to mentally calculate whether or not a fairy and steel pokémon would be the right choice against a dark and steel pokémon

[klapparfan24]

yo I just wanna let you know there is no pinned post

OH FART

[wellenklavier]

got tagged by @zemnarihah a while ago, thanks my man B)

when was the last time you cried? - the last time i REALLY cried was in mid-January when i was moving, and I had a minor 2-min cry sesh at work (oopsies) earlier this month. I don't like crying but unfortunately my body makes me sometimes

do you have kids? - hell fucking nooooo my 26 yr old coworker is having a kid and that's SO SCARY TO ME YOU'RE 3 YRS OLDER THAN ME!!!!

do you use sarcasm a lot? - not really

what sports do you play? - at the moment nothing but I started some calisthenics stuff last week (trying to build up to certain movements ie unassisted pistol squat) and I do some weightlifting? and once it's warmer I'll resume my regular runs, FUCK running on a treadmill I hate it. I played rugby in college and would love to do it again but don't really have the dedication to do it around work. BUT I think I'm going to try roller skating, there's an adult learners program near me!

what’s the first thing you notice about people? - Facial expression, posture, tone of voice. let's say eyes I be staring into people's eyes

what’s your eye color? - "get her some brown contacts please" Blue

scary movies or happy endings? - scary moviee i love watching Scary Movie with Friends

any special talents? - i once went without pissing for 12 hours.

where were you born? - fuckass wisconsin

what are your hobbies? - at this point working out is a hobby because it takes up enough of my time. but I read and play vidya games. if I had money I'd have a rock climbing gym membership, and hopefully soon I'll be roller skating... I haven't made a paper mask in a while (i have no printer.) but I like doing those

do you have pets? - no, except my cat at my parents' house :( If I ever get my apartment totally set up and save some money I Might consider a sand boa but i need to know if i'll have to move again anytime soon cuz that would be annoyyinnggg to mooooveeee

how tall are you? - 5'4

favorite subject in school? - english literature in high school, plant taxonomy in undergrad

dream job? - fuck man i don't know. I don't have one. I want to work 4-6 hours a day for structure doing something mentally and physically stimulating, ideally with access to the outdoors. or at least some fucking windows. part of me wants to be a barista, part of me wants to be a professor of sociology, part of me wants to be a field ecologist. I want time to explore the place I live without it feeling like a chore and I want to socialize outside of work and I want to go on a FUCKING HIKE THROUGH THE WOODS

open tags homies go for it

[zephyrchama]

Going to a restaurant with the cast of Obey Me! and the waiter asks, "is anyone in your party under 500? Beings who are five centuries and under eat for free."

The waiter glances at Luke as they say this but everyone immediately turns to you.

Mammon cracks up when the waiter brings over a high chair and you have to turn them down. Leviathan encourages you to at least take the booster seat so you can feel taller. Thirteen wheezes when they bring out the crayons and coloring mat, which you insist on sharing. You tell Diavolo not to get any funny ideas when the waiter bends down to speak with you at eye level. It's just standard protocol for this diner.

Mephistopheles doesn't understand the big deal. You're not even a century old yet, isn't this normal? Solomon, however, is trying not let his mini midlife crisis show. To Barbatos' delight, he's not getting the same treatment as you (despite also being human) and fears he might be starting to look his age.

Lucifer is visibly enjoying himself way too much and hasn't stopped sneering since you were handed a children's menu, which Beelzebub is excitedly cross-referencing with the adult menu that everyone else got. Raphael likes the little flag they stuck in your food. Luke is acting so smug and haughty that Simeon has to remind him to be humble.

Satan makes the unnecessary offer to cut your food into smaller bites because they only gave you a small plastic spork, while Asmodeus is busy snapping pictures of the chef's ketchup smiley face atop your dish. Belphegor warns you not to hurt yourself and asks if he should blow on your food, causing you to threaten him with the spork.

[pasteldaifuku]

Mewo Pancake made by my brother

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[peachebo]

thank you

[saybonjourandfarewell24601]

My little brother had just layed down to take a nap and I was there scrolling when he said, “Monsters… in the closet.”

I said, “There’s no monsters in there, only gay people.”

My mom laughed from the door way. A few minutes later he said. “Monster…bed..”

My mom then said “That’s not a monster; that’s your sister.”

[cielle-b]

Gertrude and Gerry playing Smash bros Gertrude mains jigglypuff, Gerry mains Falco

[miera-mountains]

Why do I never see people posting the Nanami molecule on here?

We need more of those!!!

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce Wayne is canonically a very handsome man (he is called a "pretty boy" and he is in his 40s, for fuck's sake), and he is pretty famous as a rich philanthropist who doesn't want to leave his awful cursed crime infested city. So, there must be a ton of people thirsting over him on the internet. Fancams, edits, fanfics and imagines ("kidnapped with Bruce Wayne 😍 by a Gotham rogue"), the whole charade!

And anytime one of the batkids stumbles on a thirst post, they have the most dramatic disgusted reaction, loudly gagging, before sending the link to the batkids chat, because if they must suffer, then they should all suffer. Clicking on a link in this groupchat is like playing russian roulette, and getting rickrolled is a good ending.

[klaasje]

this is the best thing anyone has ever said to me

[jupyyter]

My brother just found me having a panic attack and gave me juice so honestly that’s a win for me