#thank you bioware for always ruining my life

[alarts]

finished veilguard a week ago and loved loved loved the final slideshow and the pose their story ended with so I had to redraw it in my own style... their love endured <3

[ideahat-universe]

I guess this is as good a time as any to talk about my relationship to the Dragon Age franchise.

It's actually complicated.

Before I played Dragon Age Origins I had never experienced a RPG with serious role play potential.

Pokemon doesn't really have a story or much characters and with the exception of Dragon Warriors 3 there was very little to customize and it was mostly playing out a pre-determined campaign. No moral quandaries, no branching solutions. That changed when I played Dragon Age Origins.

It was literally a spellbinding experience.

I had never played a game where your choices really mattered and you could have a multitude of different origins and that your party was an extension of your choices. Playing it with no knowledge of Bioware's writing tropes made to where I didn't know who was a NPC and who was a future party member.

It was so great that I went on to do a second run that was even better than the first. My female Dwarf who grew up in the slums with nothing but heartache to her name carved a future where the casteless could be equal and she, would the be the ultimate role model that can always lead people to believing they should never settle for unsavory roles they were given to play.

Dragon Age Origins has a lot of love.

But also, some hate.

I never managed to do a playthrough without bending my knee and putting it on easy if only for a boss fight or two.

The Circle tower is completely ruined by The Fade mission. It's so bad there's a mod that just gives you all the buffs you would have gotten from that excursion and drops you back on the other side.

The Dwarven mines is by far my least favorite moment in gaming period.

A horribly boring and titanically long tunnel where you get to learn the one piece of lore no one asked for. Jesus Christ, where is Planned Parenthood when you need it?

The elvish mission starts out strong but then it's back to delving through an abusively long cave to come out the other end. Are you telling me that there can only be one quest hook that can involve the poet tree? What a waste.

There's the Skeleton mission where if you can get over the hump of the defense mission it's only tolerable.

Everything scales with your level so there's no real optimal order beyond who you need in your party to better balance your team out.

The economy is very deflationary. You'll thank god for every potion that's for sale because it's not unlimited for some hideous reason (same with mana).

Oh man, and the Sacred Ashes good start but yet again, another dark and boring looking cave I spend hours trudging through just so I can get the really good character moments at the end.

Dragon Age Origins is not perfect for me.

But I still really loved the role play experience and the closest I ever came to replicating that was Rune Factory 4 and Dragon Warriors 3.

So when Dragon Age 2 came out I was ready to go, until I was given the grave news. You are not importing your character from Origins. Instead you are playing Medieval Shepard. And I already established that I don't like the general world of Dragon Age. Turns out, I don't like grim dark. I can accept it but when it starts being about stories of rape and racism I want to get out of that questline and hope to forget about it.

I'm invested in my character playing off the world, not the world itself. Kind of like how the average DND player doesn't really care about the world until their personal story starts being told.

This mistake was more or less fixed in Dragon Age 3.

But I was gone by then. Yeah, I'm not a particularly loyal consumer, a lot of people like that game too but at this point in my life I don't even like that style of gameplay so it's just not happening.

But now there's a fourth Dragon Age game.

The trailer for it. Is weird. It's like under some weird delusion that the side characters are supposed to be really cool and we should be excited to play them.

The side characters in every Bioware game are fun to play off of. They typically aren't very interesting in and off themselves. Good news though. You can import more or less the character from Dragon Age 3 into 4. I don't know why they didn't lead with that. The pathos of Dragon Age is everything and the weight of your choices is the pathos generator.

Are you telling me the tone of Dragon Age 4 is drastically different? It's not Grim Dark?

Can it even be Dragon Age if it's not Grim Dark?

Maybe that's a really bad trailer. I guess we'll have to see.

[lordgeneralsix]

oh cool, thanks for sharing your thoughts too. I completely agree with you (especially your second paragraph). it's very frustrating to see people believe that creating/consuming media about bad things means you approve of said bad things, which only proves how people can't think for themselves...

this increasing trend is unfortunately a decline in media literacy and increase in short attention spans. people don't know how to "read between the lines" anymore and need their hands held. if something isn't explicitly stated, it doesn't exist. we're at the point where people need to be told shit like "misgendering is bad :)" instead of showing us how this could affect trans characters and the kind of pain that comes from knowing people don't see you as who you really are. there needs to be a balance of showing and telling, and also not being biased. I don't doubt that there are talented writers on the team (currently and formerly) as there is good writing to be found across the franchise, but most of the time bioware can never find that balance and I don't know why.

(and yeah putting relevant lore and plot from the games in books/comics etc, like varric and harding searching for solas, should have been in veilguard. it's not established how rook and varric even got to this point, which alienates the new players they so desperately wanted as well as people who can't afford them or don't want to follow a bunch of different mediums just to get a coherent story. there's too big of a gap between inquisition and veilguard that should have been mended somehow)

as for the romance... I do agree here but it's important to have gay and lesbian characters bc even though our experiences overlap with theirs they are ultimately different. in my opinion I think it just depends on the amount of companions. like dragon age 2 worked fine bc there were only four romanceable ones, so making them all bi for balance made sense (idk if that's why I'm just assuming here). whereas in inquisition there were eight, so they could stand to make two of them gay while making the others bi or straight or whatever (and with the replayability, someone could just make a new oc and experience those. especially since being gay is a big part of dorian's grief, it just wouldn't work if he was bi or god forbid straight). it's definitely our lack of preference speaking, since I also wouldn't mind bi being the default, but we can't leave the rest of our community behind. representation helps normalize what the masses think is abnormal. at the end of the day though, writers should not base a character's personality around their sexuality and gender identity because we are more than that. if it's important, there's always a way to do it well without it being yet another coming out story... and here's where taash was done dirty.

taash's story had potential to be about questioning their identity as a whole, and I was really hoping that their gender was just the tip of the iceberg, but it just. didn't go anywhere. im a second generation immigrant (greek-canadian), so it did hit close when taash was questioning where they even belonged, but then bioware ruined it by watering down the immigrant experience to one choice where you have to encourage taash to either choose rivain or the qun... which, to put it bluntly, was incredibly stupid (especially with bioware's racist writing of making the qun/qunari and everyone who follows it bad, most people would just pick rivain).

why do they have to pick one? why are we deciding that for them, especially when we barely know them? why can't they learn how to create a new life And reconnect with what they lost? a lot of immigrants hold onto culture bc it's all they have despite being disowned by their own people for "abandoning their country", but still live their new lives without sacrificing their roots. like to this day I still question if greeks would ever accept me because I was born in canada. my relatives and greeks as a whole just see me as another stupid american with no culture, "not a real greek", even though I know the language and still celebrate greek holidays/practice certain parts of the religion because of my mother. this struggle and disconnect doesn't just go away overnight, and it's incredibly sad how we could've had a character who is a pillar of perseverance and represents the loss/reclamation of identity be reduced to... a joke, I guess. it's a real shame.

that one conversation between emmrich and harding and the argument between emmrich and rook..... why is bioware trying to make the age gap an issue and why is their age even mentioned. why are they trying to make rook a fresh-faced adventurer. what if someone is playing as an older character huh. idk what's so wrong about two consenting adults in a relationship but ok

[apocketofstarwars]

A KotOR 3 Theory

Some foundational pieces…

In KotOR 2 (if the stars align)… Carth tells the Exile that Revan left after KotOR 1… that she said [A] there was a path she needed to walk alone, [B] it was one she would never take anyone she loved on, and [C] asked him to stay behind, tasked him with keeping the Republic strong, which was important to her.

The way she spoke left him waiting for her return, whether it was her intention or not, and this implies some things about her demeanor and hopes at the time too.

(For the record… this scene he describes has lived rent free in my head for nigh on two decades, so thanks for that BioWare…)

With Carth’s help, you also realize that your ship, the Ebon Hawk (beloved), is the same one Revan left with. You found it discarded on Malachor V, which is ominous at best.

Three possible implications follow…

1. Revan died on Malachor V.

Darth Traya and her apprentices are suspect here, but the way Kreia talks about Revan leads me to believe this is not the case.

2. Revan is alive somewhere on the surface of Malachor V.

The Exile and their companions find no evidence of Revan’s presence though, and Traya makes no comment supporting this theory. It’s possible, but unlikely due to the length of time she would have needed to survive with no resources, and especially in light of the planet’s nature, which is worse than a barren wasteland. Its a wound in the force, a siphon on life itself.

3. Revan abandoned the Ebon Hawk on Malachor V as part of her journey.

I find this the most likely scenario. It raises other significant questions, like where Revan went, and how she was able to reach the next step of her journey, but doesn’t contradict anything in canon. It actually echoes canon events of the past.

Theory 3 aligns with Revan’s history.

It’s worth noting that Revan is canonically a compassionate, altruistic, feeling character, as evidenced by her refusal to let the outer rim worlds fall, and even among her enemies, she is characterized as charismatic, decisive, intelligent, and above all, a brilliant strategist.

The thing about Revan is that she was always willing to make the hard call.

More than that, she was willing to carry the cost.

If the Mandalorian Wars changed Revan, it was only in amplifying this quality. She was still a defender of the people. A hero of the Republic.

This doesn’t change when Revan and Malak retreat into dark space at the end of the war. They may be battered and ragtag, but their fundamental characters are ultimately unchanged.

And this is where we tread into headcanon & theory…

To me, this circular narrative where Revan disappears again indicates that she suddenly remembered something from her past — something she and Malak discovered out there that was important enough to drop everything for and cut all ties, even with the people she loved most.

Something more than the Star Forge 😳

Because what was the Star Forge?

Only a tool.

A tool for building an army.

Revan, always more attuned than Malak, would recognize it for what it was.

The Star Forge doesn’t corrupt on sight… Revan wasn’t ruined the moment she came in contact... It takes time. It takes focus. It takes alignment to its core purpose, which is innately of the dark side.

Altruistic Revan would need a REASON to use it.

A reason to risk that.

And nothing is more ominous than considering what made cost-counting Revan willing to risk a fall… willing to risk becoming the very thing she’d sacrificed everything to destroy, undoing all the work of the Mandalorian Wars, to earn that army.

What did Revan FIND in dark space that drove her to the Star forge?

Because the real tragedy of Revan’s fall is that she failed her mysterious task, and instead of defending the galaxy from this ominous threat, she became just another tool in its destruction.

This time, there would be no Star Forge.

There would be no natural armies.

There would be no companions.

This time she would go alone.

And if there was cost to carry, she would carry it alone.

So she left it all behind, pitting all the quiet of a single person and all the cunning of the galaxy’s greatest strategist against it.

But if she failed, she’d charged Carth with one last task, an impossible one… with bringing life back to the Republic which still staggered and threatened to fall, broken by her own hand.

The galaxy's last line of defense should she fail.

If this is beginning to feel familiar... it should.

An unnamed, unknown threat hiding somewhere out there in dark space too powerful for an entire galaxy to withstand?

And one person attempting to stand alone against it?

They done wrote themselves straight out of Star Wars.... 🙈

Three years later…

...

.........

.....................

[emerald-amidst-gold]

Ohh maybe 1, 2, 3, and 28? 👀

*takes a sip from my can of soda* Ahhh~! Caffeine for the soul~ >:3

But you know what's better for the soul? Questions! Curiosity! RAMBLING ABOUT CHILDREN! >:D Let's GOOOO!

1. What would your Warden generally think of your Hawke and your inquisitor?

Rylen: 

Now, I kind of see Elise eventually meeting or at least, reaching out to Rylen after the events in Kirkwall. After all, she’s an Amell, and so is Hawke. They’re literally the only family each other has (that’s not ‘found’ family, that is.). So, I think Elise would reach out through a letter or somehow manage a visit to her cousin and...connect. She would see him as inspiring; Rylen always manages a smile and a quip. However, if they were to spend more and more time interacting with each other, Elise would see that Hawke isn’t very well put together, especially after the Chantry explosion. She would question why Rylen chose the templars, why he executed Anders who was a like a brother to her, but eventually she would come to understand the whys. Elise would see it as no different as when she decided to spare Loghain at the Landsmeet; they did what they believed to be right and what would be best in that very moment. Both Rylen and Elise sacrificed their own happiness for the benefit of others, and were still blamed for future complications and there’s something comforting in a finding another who can relate. :3

Fane:

So, I actually have some later fic ideas for a confrontation between Elise and Fane (after Trespasser, kind of Pre-DA4 shenanas~), and suffice it to say, these two have similar ways of thinking, but their methods are entirely different. Fane is rash, prone to barreling head first into conflict without thinking about those around him. Elise is analytical, always assessing and placing the pieces in her head to make sure everyone comes out alive. This isn’t to say Fane doesn’t care about his comrades; he does. There’s countless, countless times he takes a blow for someone else without batting an eye or thinking that he could die. He just doesn’t plan; he acts. Fane can get lost in the moment of battle, in the heady scent of chaos and blood. Elise, at first meeting him, would see him as any typical warrior; eager for battle and a garden of death. But if they were to sit down and talk...I think she might find him endearing and fascinating. More or less she would think, ‘He’s so mature for someone so young. I mean, he’s twenty-four, but...he speaks as if he’s older. His speech is manicured, measured as if decided upon carefully. And his eyes...there’s pain, a deep, deep pain. Like some of the older Wardens, those just hearing the Calling. But also...hope? Conviction? Who are you, Inquisitor? What has the world done to you?’

2. What would your Hawke generally think of your warden and your Inquisitor?

Elise:

Rylen would probably have the same opinion of Elise as she does with him. They’re family, split apart due the misconceptions and fear, and my Hawke cherishes family. He lost everyone else he could rightly consider family. Fenris, Varric, Sebastian, Isabela, and Merrill are the only people he can call family now. (Anders and Aveline are complicated. I won’t go into that can of worms. For now~ >:3) He would definitely feel a level of guilt for what he had to do in Kirkwall with Anders, with the mages, with...everything, but Rylen just tries to make it through another day. If he and Elise started to interact I think it would be extremely beneficial to Rylen. Elise is patient, sometimes stern, and not afraid to lay all the facts out. Rylen would admire that since he’s had to go through life wearing a mask, a smile, a facade just to placate someone else. He would see Elise as another sister and his opinion of her would probably be along the lines of, ‘I won’t let another member of my family be torn from me. Father, Bethany, Carver...Mother.. I failed them. I won’t fail her. I won’t fail her. She’s bright and she keeps her head held high. Heh, now I see how she killed an Archdemon and lived to tell the tale. ...Bet the lightning has something to do with that, too.’

Fane: 

Rylen and Fane, in my head, actually hit it off from the get go. They’ve both had to take mantles of power, even though they never, never wanted to. Though, for different reasons, of course. But Rylen would find Fane inspiring and wholly capable of doing what must be done. He’d be kind of put off that most of his well thought out jokes and pokes would fall flat on Fane, but eventually, Rylen would see why that is. (Draconic nature withstanding.) Also, once my Hawke found out Fane is dragon?  OHHHH, BUDDY. There would be yelling and screeching and cries of, ‘WHY DO I KEEP MEETING DRAGONS, FENRIS?! FIRST THE WITCH, NOW THE INQUISITOR?! ..I’m done. I’m putting my daggers down and stealing away into the mountains. Varric, you wanna come with? I know you’re fed up with this shit, too! Don’t lie! DON’T. LIE.’

3. What would your Inquisitor generally think of your warden and your Hawke?

Elise:

Fane would probably think of Elise as...interesting. Not in a bad way. Just...interesting. Fane isn’t comfortable with Wardens after Adamant. He learns that he can hear the corruption inside of them and that terrifies him. And confuses him. And makes him go, ‘What the fuck am I? I don’t even know anymore. Why do I try?’ But, if he were to get over that and, like I said with Elise, talk? He would have another perspective of the men and women that had let fear take them by the throat. It wouldn’t change his feelings regarding the Wardens entirely, but one level mind, one open mind, is enough to make Fane tap into his nature and consider other sides of a very, very large cube.

‘She’s more...quiet than the others. Maybe because it’s just her? No...Loghain was still loud as fuck when it was just him, so why? Ugh, I’m so sick of these puzzles. At least she’s more stable, but I can see the pain in her eyes; green like mine, but missing the gold. Maybe the Taint is stronger than she thinks? Perhaps, but still she fights, still she claws her way towards something that may be impossible. ...Hmph. How typical. A similarity. This world continues to confound.’

Rylen:

Fane respects Rylen after spending some time to feel him out, know his cues, and piece together which is his actual face. Once that happens, Fane can move into respect with my Hawke. These two have a fairly similar moral compass; pragmatism regarding most decisions. Again, they both have been thrust into a position without asking for it, so that would be a stepping stone upon the bonding path. All in all, Fane’s general opinion of Rylen would be, ‘He’s worn that mask of smiles and bright, grey eyes for too long. It’s cracking at the edges, wearing down to mere mortar. Then again, I have my own mask. I’m in no position to judge and condemn, but...it’s worrying. Even the strongest wings can be torn and all that greets is the earth below. I hope your wings don’t falter, Champion. It would be disappointing for the world to lose someone who cares when those who should are content to point the finger towards anyone but themselves.’

28. What is their favourite location within their own game and what would be their favourite in each others?

Fane: The Emprise du Lion! Snowwwww! Coooold! Ice dragooooon! >:3 ...minus the red lyrium. *snorts* 

Origins: Hmm, I think Fane would like the Brecilian Forest. He enjoys forests as much as he enjoys the cold, the ice, and the snow. He likes the animals, even though he tries not to interfere with them, and he likes the quiet. No chattering, no demands. Only trees, leaves, and the occasional whistle of wind. Also, Fane likes to investigate ancient ruins. He’s not interested in the history, really. He just wants to see if he can find any remnants about his kin that the elves may have left behind. :3

DA2: Probably Sundermount since again, wilderness. Fane doesn’t do too well in crowded areas and Kirkwall would make his heart rate sky rocket. Not just because of the people, but because of the size. Those cramped streets of Lowtown would just make him...eugh. *shivers*

Elise: She adores Orzammar! Especially the Shaperate! The dwarves fascinate Elise since not many tomes in the Circle went into depth about them! :D And if we want to with Awakening areas, I would saaaay...Amaranthine. She’s always like towns and cities due to not being able to experience them until the Blight! :3

Inquisition: Elise would adore the Frostback Basin. Like, really enjoy it! All that flora and Avaar culture and wilderness? MMMM!

DA2: Definitely the Wounded Coast. Hands down. My daughter enjoys the sea so much. The salt in the air, the feel of sand, and the pretty, pretty shells and rolling waves? Every Circle mages’ wet dream. *waggles eyebrows*

Rylen: So, if we’re not talking like open world areas in the game, I would definitely say Rylen’s favorite place is the Hanged Man. The man needs a drink to deal with Kirkwall. Just saying. It’s also where he can just...be himself with the people who know him. 

Inquisition: Hinterlands. He’s a FERELDAN. He wants his MABARI to RUN in native land! He wants to...go home. ;3;

Origins: I like to think the Hawke family went all over Ferelden before settling in Lothering. I mean, they kind of do, but maybe for more than a few months at a time? So, Rylen would enjoy Denerim. He likes to go where people are, where life is. He likes crowds because he can blend into them and not be tracked down until he wants to be tracked down. ...My Hawke just wants to live in peace with his glowy elf husband and run a mabari ranch. Is that too much to ask, Bioware?! Let Hawke REST!

Woo! That was FUN! It really got me thinking, too! X3 Thank you so much, friend! <3

[ljandersen]

Author Interview

Tagged by @rpgwrites @bardofheartdive @forlornmelody Thank you!

Tagging @ripley95 @alphahelices @spook-queen @crqstalite @citadelsushi @spaceprincealenko @pip-n-flinx @soldiermom1973 @a-cosmic-elf and anyone else who wants to play! No obligation, of course.

1. Name

LJAndersen on AO3, FFN, and Tumblr

2. Fandom

Mass Effect Trilogy. That's it. I have narrow interests.

3. Where you post?

AO3 and Tumblr

I have stories on FFN but no longer post there. After spending months posting a ten chapter story and not getting a single follow or like/favorite, I decided it wasn't worth it. Due to dead traffic, security concerns, and disagreeing with FFN philosophy in general, I stopped posting there early 2020.

4. Most popular one shot?

The Favorite . Garrus and Wrex are jealous and humorously fighting over femShep. It has a couple things going for it: it's my only non-fShenko fic and it has a Femshep/Garrus tag.

5. Most popular multichapter fic?

About Mars . . . It's my ME-3 fic with background scenes, not a retelling of the plot. Shepard and Kaidan get back together, and there are a lot of light-hearted crew antics.

6. Actual worst part of writing?

Editing! The more passes and more nitty gritty, the more painful it becomes. I'm on my third draft of part 2 of "Sideways" right now. The struggle is real.

7. Favorite story you've written?

Sideways. Twelve years post-war, Paragon and Renegade Shepard switch timelines. I love the complexity of relationships the situation creates. In her timeline, Paragon Shepard has been married to Kaidan for a decade. They have a child together. The galaxy is at peace. She's human councilor. Thrust into the renegade timeline, the galaxy is torn apart by war. Kaidan has lead a whole life without Shepard, and in fact, despises her.

I love the layers of clashing identities. She knows Kaidan better than anyone, while simultaneously knowing nothing about him in this context. Does she care for him as a version of her husband or treat him like the enemy he treats her?

In the past, I would have said my favorite fic was Burning Barriers, my 2 years post-war epic. Shepard and Kaidan are estranged but forced to work together as Spectres. It's the first fic I wrote.

At this point, I've spent so much time on Sideways, it's really a toss up now. I could say a lot about Sideway's genesis and my intentions, but needless to say, it took me a year and a half to write. I'm still editing it in parts.

8. Story you were most nervous to post?

Burning Barriers. It was the first thing I wrote that I let anyone read. As far as being nervous about content, there are some chapters in "Sideways" that worry me. Later parts earn the M rating.

9. How do you choose your titles?

With difficulty. I try to be literal and direct as much as I possible.

10. Complete work:

7 completed works posted (4 multichapter and 3 one shots)

11. Incomplete works:

Only 1 work in the process of posting. I've written the whole first draft of Sideways, but I'm editing and posting a chapter weekly. I also have a half finished mini-multichapter fic. I'm not sure if or when I'll get back to it.

12. Do you outline?

No. I know what I want to write in my head. Putting an outline down in writing ruins the drive for me. I feel like the story is already told, even if it's only a skeletal bulletpointed list. What keeps me going is love of the discovery. I love the spontaneous depth that forms step by step from the vision in my head.

13. Coming soon ideas?

I'm focused on Sideways currently. I do have the short multichapter fic I mentioned that I may or may not finish. I also outlined a multichapter fShenko involving the control ending. Since I outlined it, though, I kinda feel like my interest is satiated. After Sideways, I'm planning to focus on indie publishing.

14. Ask me anything.

Yes, ask me anything. What does this question even mean?

15. Best writing trait?

I like creating plots that provide the scaffolding to explore and stretch character relationships. I love dialogue. It can do so many things at once: reveal character, develop relationships, advance the plot.

16. Upcoming story you are excited to write?

I'm focused on editing not writing right now. Sideways is essentially a five novel series. While I may write additional scenes as I edit, I don't have plans to write anything new for a while. I am looking forward to doing my second draft of part 3 and part 4. It's always fun revisiting the first draft. It's been a long time since I first wrote it.

17. Spicy tangential opinion?

I'm glad Bioware fixed the controls for the mako. As a PC player, it was impossible and took the fun out of exploring planets. I'll miss the inside jokes about Shep's driving, but I'm all for improvement in actual gameplay. I'm glad they didn't change anything story or character wise.

[azure-steel]

the fact that you loved mass effect as much as i do is fucking amazing and i love his ANGERY and IDGAF attitude in it and i am garbage for not replying yet but like i really think it’s already my favorite thing and that’s why i am here. you’re also cool af and i adore you so much. you put so much into what you write and it shines through. your writing is dope and i can’t wait to see more. you’re the absolute best. 100%. ilysm.

what about my portrayal attracted you to my blog? if you would like to be more specific – what made you stay?

HAHAHAHAHA you’ve sent this on anon, but ofc I know who it is so it’s a bit of whatever xD But YES!! MASS EFFECT RUINED MY LIFE, AND IT HURT SO FUCKING GOOD, MATE! SO FUCKING GOOD! Where is my damn REMASTER, BIOWARE?!

And yes!! I saw an opportunity with that thread to make him a bit (A LOT) of a bastard, because I’m so eager to explore the darker side of Cloud’s personality. I mean he has that whole Trevor Belmont “Uuuuugh I don’t caaaaaare” thing going on in his canon verse, but there’s always potential for him to sink a little lower than that. So Mass Effect!Cloud is a big bad wanker in every sense of the term xD

I’m dead happy you like my writing, because yours is super stellar too and I’m so looking forward to progressing that story line!!

As for me being cool, nah mate, I spill coffee on myself almost daily and trip over my own feet, ain’t nothing cool about me at all xDD But thanks for saying so!! But you’re way cooler than me, I can promise you that x3

[bluekaddis]

You almost mentioned Cullen as the best written character, but tbh he is written quite bad, his abuse and hate is never confronted in Inquisition and he is made victim by narrative, while he was the very problem why Chantry sucks. Even his fans admit that. He is mostly liked because of romance.

Ugh.

I was waiting for that moment when admitting I like Cullen’s character and story arc will bite me in the ass.

TL; DR (for those who don’t want to get through my long rant) 

Let everyone enjoy any characters/romances/game choices they want. I have my reasons for having Cullen as a fav DA character and liking his story arc and I don’t think there are more problems with writing of his character than the majority of other companions in DA games. 

Full answer below

First of all – I don’t want to argue that everyone should like or dislike the same elements of fiction as I do – it would be stupid. We all have different tastes, like different character archetypes and have varying opinions on what makes a good story. I’m trying to keep my blog character positive and unless someone asks me directly to share my opinion on a certain character or plot element I prefer keeping my critique to myself. I also don’t feel entitled to confront fans who, in their own posts, state they find Cullen boring, unredeemable or overrated, even if I personally disagree with all these statements. 

If your ask, anon, stated the words “i think” or “in my opinion” I wouldn’t probably bother with such a lengthy answer, HOWEVER, you write your personal opinion like it was an objective statement, like you were in position to tell me how I should view the certain character. What did you expect, that I would suddenly realize “oh crap, NOW I see that a character and plot I had liked for my 200 hours of gameplay is actually bad, I was just too stupid to notice it!”.

Haha, no.

So, let’s go through your comment.

“tbh he is written quite bad”

In. Your. Opinion. There are people who don’t like Cullen’s character development. Some like the general idea but would make some changes if they could. Others (like me) don’t have problem with his story arc and just like to add some headcanons to fill the gaps.

It is understandable that when years pass between games, fans have time to develop their opinions and wishes of what they’d like to see. And because none of them actually writes the story it is very easy to feel disappointed and say “well, I would do it better (= my way)”. But the truth is - your way is not necessary a better way. It may be the case that “your version” would be even more hated by the fandom. Some opinions are just more popular than others and therefore may seem like they are objective but it’s an illusion. A well designed pool, with large sample size and good statistics may be objective. Opinions, on the other hand, are like farts – you always think yours are less stinky than the others’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I digress.

Yes, I think Cullen is a well written character and yes, I like his story arc. Cullen’s redemption works for me because I see it not as much about atonement for his actions as for his lack of action.

Let me explain.

Anti-Cullen fans tend to assume that he personally did a lot of atrocities, but when you look not at fandom assumptions but at his actual actions we see in games or WoT, you can see that he caused most evil by not doing shit.

He should have protected the mages.

He didn’t.

He should have questioned Meredith’s actions.

He didn’t.

He should have noticed she’s going mad.

He didn’t .

He should have stopped her before she evoked the Rite.

He didn’t.

He was very passive and basically let either Meredith or Hawke make all the choices for him. If he let Meredith decide – people died. If he listened to Hawke (based on player’s choices) he voted for whatever Hawke had proposed.

Why was he behaving like that? Probably because he had lost faith in his own judgment so he put all the responsibility on authority figures (Templar Order and Chantry teachings). Cullen’s core motivation throughout all games was to protect people and it never changes. What changes is his belief of what methods are moral or necessary to achieve that goal and whether he, as an individual, should be in a position to decide it.

In Inquisition Cullen does the opposite. He is a workaholic. He makes his own decisions (leaves Kirkwall, stops taking lyrium) and takes full responsibility for them. He doesn’t follow his leader blindly but openly states his own opinions and advice (whether they are correct or wrong is another topic). He gets really furious when someone in position of power lie to or sacrifice people under their command (like in case of Samson or Rainier). Finally, he dedicates his life, health, skills, basically everything, for a cause - to stop the war that can be blamed mostly on his former organisation, without complaint or asking for forgiveness.

And I love that aspect of his character.

In Inquisition Cullen is still a work in progress. He tries his best but his templar past comes back sometimes - and it’s good. If he was completely free of his biases, it would be damn unnatural. 

I would never say that Cullen is a flawless ray of sunshine. He can be stubborn, biased, narrow-minded, hypocritical, bitter, aggressive and vengeful. But guess what – so can all the other characters. That’s why they are interesting.

“his abuse and hate is never confronted in Inquisition”

It is, at least for the standards of this particular game. DA:I doesn’t have full developed friendship-rivalry mechanics like DA:2 and you can’t even get approval points from advisors. The Inquisitor basically has far less options to condemn the Inner Circle’s actions or change their worldviews than Hawke (you don’t really argue with Dorian about slavery or with Iron Bull about Saarebas or Reeducators either).

But even if the Inquisitor has limited dialogue options to confront Cullen’s actions directly, Cullen himself brings the topic to the player. Cullen’s dialogue and actions in DA:I show that

he is ashamed of the person he became after Uldred’s uprising    

he knows he needs to atone for his actions and he wants to work for it

but doesn’t really believe he can fully atone for what he did

supports the reform of the Chantry, Templar Order and Circles rather than agreeing to their traditional methods

That man already hates himself, give him some rest.

And if you still think he needs an extra punishment for his crimes - Cullen is actually one of only 3 companions/advisors in DA:I whose life you can literally ruin through your choices (the other two being Blackwall and Iron Bull). If your Inky thinks that Cullen’s actions are unredeemable and he deserves nothing better than to forever be chained to the templar life he has chosen as a kid - they can order him to take lyrium again. For me it’s a heartless and morally wrong choice, but anyone can play their game however they want.

„he is made victim by narrative”

Ok, that part really bothers me. Are you saying that it is a bad thing that a narrative treats a person who has been physically, mentally and sexually abused for weeks as a victim of that abuse? Or encourages empathy towards a character fed drugs, manipulation and propaganda? Acknowledging Cullen’s PTSD doesn’t automatically result in ignoring or diminishing traumas and abuse that happened to Anders, Carl or any other character. Empathy doesn’t have to be reserved to people you personally agree with, just saying.

„he was the very problem why Chantry sucks.”

I’d say he was an example showing why Chantry sucks. A symptome, not a cause. Chantry benefits only high ranking members of that intitution + some nobles and rich dudes. Mages are abused and denied most of the rights because of the Chantry. Templars are drugged and brainwashed because of the Chantry. Common folk can’t freely benefit from things like healing magic because of the Chantry. Non-humans are treated like heretics and barbarians - because of the Chantry. The Chantry, as we see at the beginning of DA:I is a corrupt, powerful institution that has forsaken almost all ideals it had been built upon and desperately needs a reform. Everyone can see that. I have NEVER met any fan who said „yeah, Circles, Templar Order, the Chantry – they were perfectly alright, no need to change lol”. Same goes to characters labelled by fandom as pro-Chantry (like Cassandra, Cullen or Vivienne). They all see that major changes must be done, they just believe the reformation is better than abolition.

„Even his fans admit that.”

Some, yes. Others don’t have a problem with his arc. Personally I don’t think there are many Cullen fans that would agree with every single point you made.

„He is mostly liked because of romance.”

Um, no. The reason why the game developers even bothered with making Cullen a romance option in DA:I is that he was already quite liked and popular among fans, despite being just a secondary character. I’d agree that the romance plot made Cullen even more popular, especially among players who didn’t play previous games, but it is wrong to assume that the only reason people enjoy his character is because he’s a pretty boy. I played the games in order and Cullen was one of my fav characters in DA2 - I just like paragon anti-villains with redemption potential. Fight me. 

To conclude this overly long rant - I’m generally under impression that some DA fans tend to point certain aspects of Cullen’s character and story as “stupid excuses made by Bioware and fans to redeem a son of the bitch” and then use almost exactly the same arguments to defend their own favs. It’s the topic for maybe another discussion, but I think it’s a good thing to confront your own biases sometimes.

P.S. I also recommend watching this video about writing redemption arcs. Just for fun.

I rest my case. 

(thanks, Ania, for the high quality picture to sum up my feelings)

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2019

Congratulations! You’ve made it through another year! You’ve faced many obstacles and overcome many adversaries to arrive here, at the dawn of a new decade. So as we prepare to leave the 2010s and make our way into the 2020s, lets take a look back at the challenges and hardships of 2019. And by challenges and hardships, I of course mean shitty fiction and media.

Yes, it’s time for yet another edition of Quill’s Swill, where we mark the absolute worst stories that the industry had to offer over the past year and proceed to tear them to shreds. Think of it as like voiding your bowels before the New Year.

As always remember that this is my personal, subjective opinion. If you happen to like any of the things on this list, that’s fine. More power to you. Go make your own list. Also bear in mind I haven’t seen everything 2019 has to offer due to various other commitments. So as much as I really, really want to, I can’t put Avengers Endgame on here. I know what happens. It sounds fucking terrible, but I haven’t seen the film, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to put it on the list, even though it would most definitely deserve it.

...

Seriously, read the synopsis of Endgame on Wikipedia some time. It’s like fanfic written by a nine year old. It’s truly shocking. And now it’s the highest grossing movie of all time? Give me strength.

All In A Row

Don’t you just hate it when you’re expected to parent your autistic child? Like actually show love and care and consideration to your offspring. Look at him, expecting you to treat him like a human being. Selfish bastard! If only there was a play that explored the horrors of having to be a decent person to your own flesh and blood and how objectively awful it is. If you’re one of those people, then the play All In A Row will be right up your street.

Premiering on the 14th February at Southwark Playhouse in London, All In A Row was a total shitshow to say the least. The playwright, Alex Oates, claimed to have ten years of experience working with autistic children, which you wouldn’t have believed if you saw the play as the autistic child at the centre of the play, Lawrence, seemed more like a wild animal than a person. In fact two of the main characters compare him to a dog. And if you thought this wasn’t dehumanising enough, Lawrence isn’t even a child. He’s a puppet. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.

All In A Row seems to place all of the blame for the family’s predicament on the autistic child, who’s presented as barely functional, bordering on bestial. There’s no effort to really make an emotional connection with Lawrence (how can you? He’s a puppet!) as the play instead focuses on how this kid has effectively ruined this family’s life because of his autism and aggressive behaviour. Speaking as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say quite confidently that this play is fucking despicable. Badly written, badly conceived, insulting and downright mean spirited. I wouldn’t want Oates looking after my autistic children, that’s for damn sure.

Anthem

EA is back and this time they’re dragging the critical darling that is BioWare down with them.

Anthem was a desperate attempt to jump aboard the ‘live service’ bandwagon, trying to replicate the success of other video games like Overwatch, Destiny and Warframe. They failed spectacularly. The game itself had more bugs than A Bug’s Life, loot drops were often stingy and unrewarding, loading times were farcically long, and the story and worldbuilding was fucking pitiful. Oh yeah, and if you played it on PS4, there was a good chance it could permanently damage it. Thankfully I have a uni friend with an Xbox One and they allowed me to play the game on that. It was a crushing disappointment, especially coming fresh off the heels of Mass Effect Andromeda, which didn’t exactly set the world on fire back in 2017.

It didn’t help that EA’s reputation was in tatters thanks to the lootbox controversy of Star Wars Battlefront II and having to try and win back the trust of fans, but worse still reports began to service of what went on behind the scenes at BioWare during the game’s development. Apparently the game’s story and mechanics kept changing every other day as the creative directors and writers didn’t have the faintest idea what kind of game they wanted to make, and the developers were often forced to work obscenely long work hours in abusive crunch periods to get the game finished for launch. It got so bad that, according to an article on Kotaku, some members of the team had to leave for weeks or even months at a time to recover from ‘stress casualties.’ 

To think this was the same company that gave us Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Knights Of The Old Republic. Thank God that Obsidian Entertainment is there to pick up the slack on the RPG front because I think it’s safe to assume that BioWare won’t be around for much longer at this rate.

The Lion King (2019 remake)

Here we go. Yet another live action remake of a Disney classic. Excpet it’s not live action, is it? Well... it’s live action in the sense that Dinosaur was live action (remember that film? Don’t worry if you don’t. No one does). Real locations but CGI characters. Millions of dollars spent on cutting edge tech to create photo realistic animals... and the film ends up duller than a bowl of porridge that really likes trainspotting.

It’s not just the fact that The Lion King remake is yet another soulless cash grab from the House of Mouse, it’s also the fact that it’s done really badly that upsets me. The Lion King works as an animated film. Bright colourful images, over the top song and dance sequences and vibrant character designs. As a ‘live action’ film, it just looks awkward and stilted. None of the animals are very expressive, leaving it up to the poor voice actors to carry the film, and to cap it all off the CGI isn’t even all that convincing in my opinion. At no point did I look at Simba and go ‘oh yeah, he looks like a real lion.’ It’s so obviously fake. In fact it reminds me of those early 00s movies like Cats & Dogs or Stuart Little where you see the jaws of the talking animals moving up and down like some messed up ventriloquist act or something. And here’s me thinking cinema has evolved past this.

BBC’s The War Of The Worlds

Remember Peter Harness? That guy who wrote that Doctor Who episode about the moon being an egg? Yeah, he’s back and he’s doing an adaptation of H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds. And guess what! It’s fucking ghastly! :D

The three part BBC mini-series was without a doubt some of the worst telly I think I’ve ever seen. It’s staggering how clueless Harness is as a writer. For starters he managed to achieve the impossible and somehow made a Martian invasion of Earth boring. I didn’t even think it was possible, but somehow he pulled it off. Then he sucks all tension out of the story by revealing the ultimate fate of the Martians at the beginning of the second episode, so now any threat or danger has been chucked out of the window because we know that the main female protagonist Amy at least would survive. And then finally he takes a massive dump over the source material by having humanity weaponise typhoid to kill the red weed rather than just having the Martians die of the common cold like in the book. Because God forbid us Brits should be presented as anything other than heroic and dignified.

So what we’re left with is a poorly realised allegory with ineffectual horror tropes full of OTT progressive posturing in a pathetic attempt to make Harness and the BBC look more liberal than they actually are. There’s no effort to really explore the themes of imperialism and colonialism outside of casual lip service, and we barely get a glimpse of the dark side of humanity. Everyone is presented as flawed, but basically awesome or, in the case of Rafe Spall’s character, utterly gormless. Our TV license fees help fund this shit, you know?!

And if you think this was bad, just wait till New Year’s Day where we’ll get to see Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ butcher Dracula. Can we stop giving these beloved literary icons to these hacks please?

Glass

I liked Split. It wasn’t an amazing movie, but it was entertaining with some good ideas, a great performance from James McAvoy and was a true return to form for M Night Shyamalan. That being said, I wasn’t keen on the idea of it taking place in the same universe as Unbreakable. I feared it would be a step too far and we’d end up having something like... well, something like Glass.

On paper, Glass isn’t a bad idea. The idea of superpowers being a delusion is legitimately intriguing and could have been a great post-modern deconstruction of the superhero genre. Except Shyamalan never actually does anything with it. The first act drags on and on with absolutely nothing happening, none of the characters really grow or change over the course of the film, Bruce Willis in particular is basically only here for an extended cameo as his character does pretty much nothing for the majority of the film, and then the entire film is undermined by that stupid Shyamalan twist. Turns out superhumans are real and there’s a big cover up. Oh great! So not only does it render the entire film pointless, it also undoes what made Unbreakable and Split so good. They’re no longer people capable of extraordinary feats via rational means. They’re just superhuman. They can do anything. Sigh.

Shyamalan... maybe it’s time to give up the director’s chair, yeah?

Cats

Oh come on! Don’t act surprised! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t put Cats on this list?!

Cats, without a doubt, is the worst film of the decade and, yes, the CGI is terrible. Not only are there these sub-human cat mutants running around, we also have mice and cockroaches with child faces, James Corden coughing up furballs, Taylor Swift trying to give the furries in the audience boners, Idris Elba looking disturbingly underdressed and Rebel Wilson being... well... Rebel Wilson. It’s a disaster of a film. And really, should we even be surprised? We all knew this was going to suck. And no it’s not because of the CGI. I thought the CGI in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu was creepy as well, but at least it had a decent script and good performances to back it up. No the reason why Cats sucked is because... it’s Cats. It’s always been that bad. No amount of ‘advanced fur technology’ was going to change that. It was still going to be a confused, plotless mess with one dimensional characters and bad songs.

The only consolation I had was that I didn’t waste money buying a ticket. A friend of mine snuck me into the premiere and we watched it in the projector room. The plan was to make fun of it and have a laugh, but we didn’t even do that because honestly there’s nothing to really make fun. There’s only so many times you can take the piss out of the CGI and honestly the film was just boring more than anything else. It doesn’t even have the distinction of being so bad it’s good like Sharknado or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. It’s just bad, period.

I just hope we don’t see something similar happen to Starlight Express. Just think. Anthropomorphic, singing trains on roller skates. Shudder.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

Finally we have yet another cynical cash grab from Disney.

I confess I didn’t exactly go into The Rise Of Skywalker with an open mind. I was never all that keen on a sequel trilogy in the first place, and neither The Force Awakens nor The Last Jedi ever convinced me otherwise. Admittedly they weren’t bad movies. Just derivative and painfully uninspired, and I was expecting more of the same for Episode IX. What I got instead was quite possibly the worst Star Wars film since Attack Of The Clones. Yes, it’s that bad.

This film is very poorly made, filled with plot contrivances and logic holes galore. I lost count of the number of times the protagonists got into a dangerous situation because of Rey constantly wandering off like a confused toddler lost in a shopping mall. Oh and we finally find out who her parents were and it was quite a twist, but only because it was really stupid. Of course we didn’t see it coming because nobody would have guessed it would be something that moronic. I feel JJ Abrams’ stupid ‘mystery box’ philosophy is to blame for this. It’s derailed countless franchises before such as Lost and Cloverfield, and now Abrams has fucked up Star Wars because he’s obsessed with mystery for the sake of mystery and Disney are so lazy that they couldn’t be bothered to plan an actual trilogy out properly beforehand. Instead they just wing it, making it up as they go along, which led to Rian Johnson ‘subverting our expectations’ and left Abrams desperately trying to pick up the pieces. 

In fact a lot of The Rise Of Skywalker seemed designed specifically to appease people of both sides of the wide chasm The Last Jedi had created. The roles of characters of colour like Finn and Rose were significantly reduced, Poe and Finn don’t end up together because of homophobia, but we do see two women kiss in the background of one two second shot that could easily be cut out when they release the film in China, Kylo Ren gets his stupid redemption even though he hasn’t fucking earned it, Lando Calrissian shows up for no fucking reason, Rey is given ‘flaws’ relating to her parentage in order to combat those accusing her of being a Mary Sue, but they’re the boring kind of flaws that don’t have any real impact on her character, and that ghastly ship Reylo is made canon even though it makes no sodding sense in the context of this movie, let alone the whole trilogy. They even go to the trouble of baiting us with a FinnRey romance before pulling the rug out from under us. Then, just to add insult to injury, the film retroactively ends up making the entire original trilogy completely pointless. All because Disney wanted more dollars to put in their Scrooge McDuck money bin.

The Rise Of Skywalker, and indeed the entire sequel trilogy, should serve as a cautionary tale against the dangers of hype and nostalgia. The reason The Force Awakens was successful wasn’t because it was a good movie (because lets be brutally honest here, it really fucking wasn’t). It was because it gave gullible Star Wars fans warm fuzzies because it reminded them of A New Hope whilst tempting them with the vague promise that things might get more interesting later on. And when that didn’t materialise, quelle surprise, the fanbase didn’t take it very well. I would love to think that this will serve as an important lesson for the future when people go and see Disney movies, but who am I kidding? I guarantee at some point we’re going to get Episodes X, XI and XII and we’ll have to go through this sorry process all over again.

So there we have it. The worst of 2019. May they rot forever in Satan’s rectum or wherever it is stories go to die. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Yes it’s the Quill Seal Of Approval Awards! The best of the best! Who shall win? The suspense is killing me! Ooooh, I can’t wait! You’ll be there tomorrow, won’t you? Of course you will. How could you not?

[vecna]

Oohh for the fandom meme! Dragon Age?

Send me a fandom!

Oh boy, this is going to be spicy.

It’s also very Anders-negative, so apologies up front.

The character(s) I first fell in love with:

I’m actually not sure which was the FIRST, but it’s a tie between Morrigan and Alistair. I saw fanart of them going around at the time Origins first released, and that’s what got me to try the game! 

Alistair was a breath of fresh air, because at the time, I was used to warrior men in games being all Edgy and Rough, and he was the total opposite and a sweetheart.

And Morrigan was just instantly my goth wife, and had Claudia Black as a VA, so I was sold immediately.

Both still hold a special place for me!

The character(s) I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Loghain is the main one. He does a lot of truly reprehensible shit in the first game. But once I sat down and read the prequel novels about young Loghain, plus saw what he’s like if you recruit him, he grew on me A LOT and now he’s a top fave.

Nathaniel I expected to hate as soon as I saw his name + who his father was, but then the expansion came out and I ended up loving that dude almost immediately. I really wish he was around more after Awakening, and also really wish he’d been a romance option, especially for a Cousland haha.

Merrill is a weird one because she was totally uninteresting to me in DA:O, so when they announced her as a companion in DA2 I was like, “Ehhhh.” Then they punked me by making her adorable and sweet and now I love her.

Plus a bunch of side-characters like The Architect? I liked him a bunch in the novel + Awakening – although I found his Plan in the novel much more appealing. But as the years have gone by, I keep surprising myself at just HOW disappointed I am he’s never appeared again haha.

The character(s) everyone else loves that I don’t:

There’s a few, and all of them will get me yelled at, but here we go.

First: Isabela. This one’s a bit complicated, but it really just boils down to her attitude towards how you play your character. I actively dislike characters who are super sexual – regardless of gender. But Isabela in particular bothers me because she’s constantly pushing her lewdness and sexual humor on you, and when you try to discourage it, she admonishes you with, “Well, you’re no fun.” Her whole character is just… like that for me. Super pushy, overly lewd, gets uppity when you don’t have the same ~liberated~ opinions she does, and this is all played up in the writing like she’s this Empowered Woman the player absolutely must love, especially if they’re playing a male character lol. I hate her for the same reasons a lot of people hate Liara in Mass Effect, but with the addition of pushy lewd jokey characters always rubbing me the wrong way.

Second: Iron Bull. I’ve written a lot about why he makes me more uncomfortable than any fictional character I’ve ever encountered, and I just outright hate him, he makes my skin crawl. If you want details, feel free to DM me, I don’t really want to rant about it again publicly.

Third: Anders. Again, I’ve written a lot about him before, but. I hated him in Awakening, for a lot of the same reasons I hate Isabela in DA2. But the changes they made to him in DA2 are just kinda :/. While I absolutely agree with him about Mage Rights, the level of preachiness they added to him drove me nuts, and the fact that you’re painted as a Bad Guy if you don’t like him blowing up the chantry. And from a purely OOC standpoint: He’s become a figurehead for all the aggressive Discourse people in the fandom, and if I see someone list Anders in their sidebar bio, I know pre-emptively that their blog is going to be full of 6 page long essays of meta about how everything is Problematic, and no thanks.

To a lesser extent, I’m also not fond of Zevran. But in his case, it’s not anything major like the others, I’m just tired of Bioware’s habit of making the bisexual characters overly lewd sex-focused rogues/deviants.

The character(s) I love that everyone else hates:

Loghain, lol.

But also Sebastian Vael? There’s so much about him that I find genuinely fascinating, especially regarding his backstory, and his struggles between his feelings of responsibility to his family vs his dedication to the Chantry and bettering himself. He’s such a dear character to me, and such a pivotal part of any playthrough, I’m always blown away when I remember he’s a DLC character and many people don’t have him.

HOWEVER Anders being the fandom darling means that people tend to unfairly shit on Sebastian for reacting poorly to the Chantry explosion. People also like to label him as a poster child of a White Straight Church Boy, while refusing to acknowledge he’s… not straight, and not exactly a church boy either lol.

Also Vivienne, but I think that one’s really self-explanatory. I love her, and she gives a really needed perspective on the Circle, since most of the mage companions previously were apostates. But of course, she gets written off as a Chantry apologist, and an uppity bitch, when people would def love her for the same traits if she was not black lol.

The character(s) I used to love but don’t any longer:

Justice. And by extension, Anders. A lot of people like to rant about how Justice ruined Anders, but I always saw it the other way around.Justice was my favorite character in Awakening. The whole concept around him, that he was a Fade spirit who took human form and was experiencing life for the first time was SO fascinating. I felt like there was so much to explore there with his character.

Buuuut then they had him merge with Anders. With the narrative being that he WAS a spirit of Justice, but the moment he connected with Anders, it corrupted his entire spirit into something he wasn’t anymore. So essentially, the character I used to love no longer exists, thanks to Anders. And it reminds me of that phrase recently, about how the destination is so terrible you can no longer enjoy the journey? I can’t even appreciate Justice in Awakening anymore, knowing what happens to him.

To a lesser extent, Corypheus. He was SO COOL and the premise of him was AMAZING when he first appeared in the DA2 DLC, but then Inquisition had to go and turn him into a weird shallow mustache twirl villain.

The character(s) I would totally smooch:

None? Idk I don’t really have the Smooch Fictional Character gene.

The character(s) I’d want to be like:

MAEVARIS TILANI. May I one day finally have the confidence in my identity that she does, and also marry a sweet bear man who adores me.

The character(s) I’d slap:

Too many to list, really. Probably Anders.

The pairing(s) that I love:

THERE’S SO MANY. And most of them are with the PC, because I generally don’t ship NPCs together. But my top 3 are:

M!Hawke / Fenris is my ultimate OTP in the Dragon Age series, by a long-shot. Not even sure where to start on how much I love it, but two damaged guys leaning on each other to work through their respective loneliness and trauma is MY JAM. And lmao I love silver-sideburned Hawke chillin in retirement somewhere but being a supportive husband while Fenris goes off hunting the Bad Guys, it’s great.

Solas / Lavellan is a close second, with the caveat that I increasingly prefer it with a male Lavellan. Having the Inquisitor in love with Solas just changes the entire tone of the game for me, for the better, and him actually being the villain trying to end the world while in love with this normie elf is just (chef kiss). Too bad I’m burned out by how overly spammed it is.

Dorian / Inquisitor is in third, I will just always be fond of how it’s a story of the Inquisitor helping Dorian be happy with who he is, escape an abusive family, and realize that he’s allowed to be loved. Good shit good shit.

Some others:

Warden / Morrigan is probably my favorite Origins ship, and that only intensified with the way she talks about the Warden in Inquisition, esp if they’re Kieran’s other parent. What a cute goth family, regardless of the Warden’s gender, cause you can pry Bi Morrigan from my cold dead fingers.

Cassandra / Inquisitor might have a lot of Romance Cliches, but I adore it – although, similar others, I increasingly prefer it with a female Inquisitor. I actively dislike the weird no-homo rejection with her, and come on, a lady Inquisitor being her Knight In Shining Armor is just good storytelling.

Cullen / Inquisitor, for a lot of the same reasons as Cassandra. I love me a cliche romance, but I’m also fond of the narrative w/ him of someone he loves helping him heal through the lyrium withdrawals and take time to rest.

Josephine / F!Inquisitor is just adorable all around, and wholesome, and great.

Varric / Hawke COME ON HOW WAS THIS NOT AN OPTION.

On the rarepair end:

Sebastian / Hawke doesn’t seem like it would be a rarepair – you’d think everyone who loves Cullen/Inquisitor would love this one too. I do! But alas. That said, I’m also pretty aggro about this one with a male Hawke because SEBASTIAN IS CANON BI. WHY WAS HIS ROMANCE STRAIGHT.

Maric / Loghain is a rarepair I will take with me to my grave LOL. Never forget the scene where Maric thought Loghain was leaving, and bolted across the camp with almost no clothes on to beg Loghain to stay. Come on.

Nathaniel / Cousland is dear to me, and I love it so much more than Alistair / Cousland haha.

Greagoir / Wynne, I can’t believe this got validated in canon ahhhh.

The pairing(s) that I despise:

Again: THERE’S SO MANY.

Iron Bull / Dorian is my least fave by a longshot. Again, I have written about why I hate this pairing a great many times, but it’s awful and toxic and makes me deeply uncomfortable, and I could happily go the rest of my life without seeing anything about it ever again. Please keep poor Dorian away from that man. He deserves someone that doesn’t sexually harass him until he’s finally worn down into dubious consent (while drunk) and then outted to everyone about it.

Isabela / Fenris. Sorry, but it’s just bad writing that Fenris bails on Hawke because the physical intimacy triggered his PTSD and he needs space to process, but then will turn around and have a casual sex relationship with Isabela instead. Yikes.

Anders / Fenris. Aveline / Isabela. Alistair / Morrigan. All of the DA2 Hawke/companion rivalmances. I don’t enjoy “these two people hate and antagonize and want to kill each other… but they fuck” in any form.

Cullen / Amell. Yikes.

And basically ALL of the canon wlw pairings in this series suffer from the fact they have men writing them, and as a result they’re almost always some kind of abusive or racist, and skeeve me out. See: Celene / Briala, Leliana / Marjolaine, Branka / Hespith, etc. Please Bioware, I’m begging you to consult some actual queer women. It’s insane how badly they’re treated compared to how the canon mlm couples are written.

FINALLY, I recognize this will be the most unpopular of all, but. As much as I love M!Hawke/Fenris, I just honestly cannot stand seeing F!Hawke/Fenris. There are some pairings where I’m so attached to the m/m or f/f version, I cannot deal with the m/f version anymore, and that’s one of them. (The others are mainly non-Bioware.)

[hellapainyo]

11 Asks

Tagged by @imjaebae thank you kind friendo

Rules: Answer 11 questions and then ask your own

Favorite genre of movie?

Children’s movies lol

Do you have a favorite place/spot? If so, what is it?

I would say my bed, but otherwise I prefer being in the organic chemistry lab

Top 3 favorite artists/singers (solo or group)?

Uhhhh..... you really gonna ruin me like that??

NCT

Hyuna

Shinee

Got7 (sorry I can’t do just 3 they’re all evenly loved)

Favorite game?

I play a lot of Sims 4 lol... I liked Dragon Age and Mass Effect, but I wouldn’t say I’m bioware trash.... does Animal Crossing count??

Best way to pass time when you’re bored?

Honestly I usually watch youtube, but if that doesn’t work, I just sleep or read fanfiction

Favorite holiday?

Christmas because we get a long break from school so I can catch up on kpop comebacks and their variety shows

Do you have any pets?

Three dogs (Booboo 14, Rudy 4, Piper 1) and two cats (Zippy 11, Jack 7) and I love them all with my entire heart I’m so uwu

Morning or night?

Both are nice. I’m better at staying up than getting up early, but I really like how quiet the world is at 7 am

Where is your dream place to live?

In an ideal dream world, Seoul, but in reality, I would love to live in St. Paul as they have a lot of nice parks and museums and the Twin Cities aren’t too big that I would get lost and it’s only a 10 hour drive back home and it’s pretty similar to North Dakota culture so I wouldn’t be too culture shocked

What is something you always have to have with you?

A water bottle, lip balm, my wallet, my phone, lately a sachet of crystals in hopes of good luck, however whenever I haven’t brough them I’ve found change around me which idk what that means 

5 things that make you happy?

Piper’s scrunched up wiggly butt when I come home from work/school and her awkward waddle as a result of the butt scrunch

Rudy’s weird alien faces and grunts when she gets excited

Kpop (most aspects of the community are good even though sometimes the toxicity gets me down)

Organic Chemistry Research because it’s made me more confident in my abilities, has gotten me some close friendships, and has given me more opportunities than anything else at my university

Witchcraft because it’s a creative outlet that is centered around bettering myself

My Questions:

1. What are 3 things you like about yourself?

2. What are your top 5 songs of 2018?

3. Who do you look up to most in life and why?

4. What is your current life goal?

5. Are you right or left handed and what side of your head do you part your hair on?? I’ve always wondered if there’s a correlation.

6. What is your guilty pleasure?

7. Favorite movie right now?

8. Best breakfast in your opinion? 

9. Favorite clothing item?

10. What do you carry with you on the daily?

11. Name something/someone you love wholeheartedly. 

I tag @wangjajisoo @sluttyten @jungnoir @dreamieboys @mo-the-mermaid99 @ahgaseda @oppafeels and anyone else who wants to do this! I honestly just went with the blogs I’ve sent an ask into recently or that I commonly see in my notifications.

[ferociousqueak]

Fandom memery

@tarysande tagged me to do the thing a million years ago, and I might be late but I’m here! Let’s do this!

Three Fandoms:

1. Mass Effect

2. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

3. Stranger Things

The First Character You Loved:

1. Liara T’Soni. She was just so cute and shy and bookish and easily flustered, and I loved her immediately. I knew nothing about the game when I started it, so when the dialogue with Kaidan turned flirty with Kaidan, I was like “oh snap! You can do this??” But THEN things turned flirty with Liara and I was just “BYE KAIDAN I HAVE A BLUE BOO NOW.”

2. Terry Jeffords. He was obviously the level-headed voice of reason who had little patience for Jake’s antics. Also, he’s a devoted husband and father who makes his family important to his identity from the very beginning, and that’s something I’d love to see more of in general.

3. Benny Hammond. He was just so understanding of Eleven being scared and obviously not capable of complex communication, and he was a giant, soft teddy bear, AND WE WERE ROBBED.

The Character You Never Expected to Love So Much:

1. Garrus Vakarian. I read a lot of people saying they were thirsty for him in the first game, but I side-eyed him in that game a lot, ngl. I saw him as a loose cannon looking to make Shepard his excuse for bad behavior, and DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID TO TALI IN THE ELEVATOR OMFG. To be clear, I didn’t dislike him. I just didn’t trust him. But he arcs so hard over the next few games and gains complexity, maturity, and vulnerability, AND I JUST LOVE HIM A LOT OKAY.

2. Jake Peralta. He annoyed me a lot at the start of the show, but like Garrus, he arcs hard. I feel like he starts out as the standard “Everyman” who’s supposedly brilliant but really he’s pretty mediocre and his self-regard is entirely unearned. But then he learns and grows and treats his colleagues as equals and family. I feel like he goes from being a lone wolf to the family pup, and I love his development.

3. Joyce Byers. Her first scene put me off. A lot. She’s chastising her teenage son (who’s making breakfast and who’s working nights to supplement her income) for not knowing where HER child is?? I raised my eyebrow at her pretty hard for that. But then as you start to learn more about her situation and how ready she is lay down her life for her children and how she doesn’t let ANYONE tell her she’s crazy when she KNOWS she’s right and NO ONE TOUCH HER SHE’S MINE AND I LOVE HER.

The Character You Relate to the Most:

1. Tali’Zorah. She’s a huge nerd who has no idea how to adult and pretty much relies on bullshitting her way into getting people to give her a chance to prove herself.

2. Amy Santiago. Again, a huge nerd who’s super organized and color codes everything and developed a deep sense of competition because her brothers always told her she couldn’t do things when she was a kid.

3. Joyce Byers. She’s been through some shit, but she would die for the ones she loves. She’s not tiny, she’s concentrated fury.

The Character You’d Slap:

1. Admiral Hackett. LET SHEPARD REST GDI. I don’t hate him, but he needs to learn that the Alliance has more commanders in it than just Shepard.

2. Hitchcock. Boy needs to stop creeping on ladies, realize he loves Scully, and marry that man already.

3. BILLY FUCKING HARGROVE. THAT RACIST SEXIST ABUSIVE UNSTABLE PIECE OF SHIT. That being said, I do realize the irony that he’s likely the way he is because he’s been slapped too much. But still:

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE???? WHAT KIND OF MONSTER!

1. Nyreen Kandros, Garrus Vakarian, Tali’Zorah

2. Rosa Diaz, Amy Santiago, Terry Jeffords

3. Joyce Byers, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair

A Character You Liked at First, But Don’t Anymore/Are Having a Hard Time with at the Moment:

1. Kaidan Alenko. I don’t hate him, and I understand a lot of people love him, which they’re free to do ofc. Specifically, it’s the romanced Kaidan that turns me off. He puts so much responsibility on Shepard for his feelings and even accuses them of cheating when he’s the one who did the breaking up (thanks BioWare for letting m!Shep defend himself to Ashley but not letting FemShep do the same with Kaidan that was great real classy and not sexist at all). I’m not a fan of that dynamic at all.

2. My love for the characters on this show has only grown <3

3. Karen Wheeler. I was a proud member of the Karen Wheeler Defense Squad in season 1, but then the Duffer brothers had to go and make her completely disinterested in her kids and then set her up with Billy and UGH EW GROSS NO THANK YOU. Season 2 Karen is a completely different person from season 1 Karen, and I will never forgive the Duffer brothers for creating an interesting, complex character and then going “oh wait you weren’t supposed to like her, here let’s ruin her for you.” KAREN WHEELER DESERVED BETTER.

A Character You Didn’t Like at First but Do Now:

1. Ashley Williams. While I never thought of Ashley as racist (in the Mass Effect universe, humans are on the receiving end of cultural and institutional racism and reverse-racism isn’t a thing so), the isolationist beliefs she holds in the first game put me off. Again, like Garrus, she arcs pretty hard and learns and grows and matures. At this point, I’m furious we didn’t get to romance her in the third game.

2. Charles Boyle, kind of. I didn’t exactly dislike him to begin with, but I found his obsession with Rosa creepy and distasteful. Once the show ditched that dynamic, I could appreciate him for being the goofy oddball he is.

3. Steve Harrington. In fact, I hated him quite a bit at first. But once he ditches his asshole friends and realizes he’s being an insufferable douche canoe, I started to warm to him. By the end of the season 2, I was ready to lay down my life for this disaster of a den mother.

Three OTPs:

1. Shakarian, Shali, Nyreen/Not being fridged

2. Jake/Amy, Holt/Kevin, Gina/Her phone

3. Joyce/Hopper, Jonathan/Nancy/Steve, Lucas/Max

And now for no-obligation tagging! @servantofclio, @mordinette, @pagerunner, @probablylostrightnow, and @bloomingcnidarians. Only if you want to!

[roguekriger]

Tag Time!

TAGGED BY: @the-shifty-cow ! Thank you kindly! (I meant to do this earlier but I just started another Mass Effect playthrough and I is distracted)

RULES: Answer 30 questions and tag ██ blogs you are contractually obligated to know.

TAGGING: @thxchampagne @cauldronfalls @spacejampire @haaska @rareastrees plus anyone else who wants to do it! (I’m sorry I have so many other people I’d like to tag but can’t think of at the top of my head!)

Nicknames: Rogue is the main one since it’s my alias on LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I also get called N7 a lot. My actual name isn’t the easiest to make nicknames for soooooooo

Gender/Pronouns: Male - he/him

Star Sign: Aries

Height: 6′2″ some people will say I’m 6′1″ or 6′1.5″ and those people are LIARS

Time: 11:32 PM (Eastern Standard Time)

Birthday: March 22

Favorite Bands:  Lord off the top of my head Linkin Park (RIP Chester), Two Steps from Hell (technically Orchestra but close enough) Smallpools, Starset, Disturbed (video is kinda dark), Stuck in the Sound, and AC/DC. For things that aren’t technically bands (which I listen to more often tbh) there’s Drunk Girl (one of my all time favorites!), Hermitude, Hollywood Principle, Daft Punk, Destroid, Niklas Ahlström, C2C, and Shirk. There’s definitely more but good lord can I not remember them rn

//Imma put each name as a link to their best song (imo) in case ya wanna listen

Favorite Solo Artist: Literally the ONLY solo artist I follow and listen to on my own accord is James Durbin. Sure I listen to all the mainstream artists but he’s the only one where I actually buy his music and listen to him regularly.

Song Stuck in your head: I’m almost always “rapping” the first verse of Survival by Eminem (that song has picked me up out of some bad times more than once) but currently and almost always I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire by The Ink Spots is stuck in my head.

Last movie you watched: Pitch Perfect 3 which I may add was awesome and better than the second one

Last Show: My dude I have to many shows but the last one was 9-1-1

Why did you create you blog?: Buddy if I had an answer for you I’d be ecstatic but considering the clusterfuck of content I post ranging from mass effect to the stupidest shit posts in existence I would technically say that when I created this 4 years ago was simply for the spicy memes and funny ass text posts but then it more became a blog to keep with my fandoms and yada yada yada.

What do you post?: Well going off of ^^^ mostly Mass Effect, humor (shitposts are humor right?), occasional news or PSAs, space stuff, anything sci-fi really, Gregor the Overlander even tho this fandom is pretty much dead lmao, and really most video games especially like Bioware and Bethesda

Last thing you googled?: Baikal Rift Valley distance from upper mantle            (I HAVE MY REASONS)

Other blogs: I have two other blogs on tumblr and no where else

AO3: Okay I didn’t even KNOW what AO3 was until like a few months ago and I’ve read like maybe two fanfictions in my life but I have written one piece for Mass Effect 3 (should be on here somewhere I think I posted it for N7 day) and a novel length one for The Underland Chronicles which I’m still writing.

Do you get asks?: Lol no

How did you get the idea for your URL?: Okay so...I’m honestly not sure. Ever since Spore came out I’ve loved the word Rogue. Don’t know why, I guess I liked the whole fight against the current lone wolf kinda thing and that’s pretty much what a “rogue” is. As for Kriger, well I also love mythology and history, specifically of Greek and Scandinavian/Norse origin and I believe if my memory serves me right Kriger translates to Warrior in Norwegian. I mean I’ve used this URL for years now so even if that’s wrong its whatever at this point

I follow: 449 blogs which honestly I’m pretty sure a good 80% are inactive if not more. Plus a few friends that...well...aren’t around anymore. For various reasons.

Followers: 419 but that numbers gonna drop because I just KNOW more than half of those are probably porn bots and when I finally gain the motivation imma block em

Average hours of sleep: When I don’t have class or many classes probably around 8 hours but if I have a lot of classes (like last spring) probably 5 to 6

Lucky number: 8, the vertical infinity sign

Instruments: I use to know a few songs on the guitar and piano but idk I never kept with it

What are you wearing?: Andromeda Initiative shirt and jeans! Plus my dog tag

Dream Job: Okay so it’s always been a cross between astronautical engineer for NASA (which is what I’m going to school for) and game developer. I’ve also played with the idea of founding my own engineering company but that’s like way off in the future

Dream Trip: I’ve always wanted to go to Scotland and/or Japan. But honestly a dream trip would be to some ancient ruins in some tropical location or one of those gorgeous nature trips like in the canyons in Zion. Or space, I REALLY wanna go to space. Yeah scratch the other stuff. I wanna go to space. Fuck yeah.

Favorite Food: Beef Carpaccio from Brio straight up. I fucking love it. I’d kill for it. I can’t get ENOUGH OF IT. Also sushi.

Significant Other?: HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh man that’s funny. My dude my longest relationship was 3 months I would LOVE to have a name to put here but alas I am unlucky and not the most sociable.

Last book I read: Damn I wanna say it was The Underland Chronicles since I reread that at least like once every year but holy shit I can’t remember what was the last book I read. Fuck that’s depressing for some reason.

Top 3 fictional universes: Mass Effect, Fallout, The Underland Chronicles

[vulptilla]

20 questions

Thank you for tagging me, @briarfox13! <3 

I’ll tag @ironbullsmissingeye, @wildheart-mustang, @littlescrib & @fade-touched-obsidian. Feel free to skip, if these memes aren’t your cup of tea. :)

1, One thing you would change in your personality?

- Well, I’d gladly get rid of my borderline personality disorder, since that keeps pretty much ruining my life every day, thank you very much. Seriously, I’d give so much for a chance to live without having to deal with this mess that is my brain. At this point I’m pretty much convinced myself to believe that I can’t have normal life, normal relationships or basically anything considered normal. /venting

2. What is your DA rare pair?

- Hahaha, most definitely Hawke x Thrask. I love the idea of them protecting each other’s little secrets so long that eventually they actually become each other’s secrets. Also, lots of drunkenness, bad life choices, despair, fear of loss and pure 100 % angst. Just another day in Kirkwall, you know. One day I’ll actually finish my fic.

Also, everyone x Jowan.

3. A song that made you cry?

- Suojelkaa mua by Johanna Kurkela. The song reminded me of one of my almost forgotten oc’s. I miss her so much, oh my god. I need to draw her or something. 

4. The best movie ever?

- Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame is the best. Yes, I’m really this bad at adulting, I still watch Disney movies unironically. 

5. Food you will never eat?

- Pea soup. I just can’t. 

6. Your celebrity crush?

- I’m not sure if I have any. Does Adam Howden count?

7. Your favourite DA location and why?

- Believe it or not, I’m actually quite fond of Kirkwall. Anders should still have blown up the whole garbage town, why stop at the Chantry while you’re already at it...

8. You’re a night or a morning person?

- Definitely night person.

9. You have any tattoos?

- Yes. A couple, in fact. Planning to get more as soon as I happen to get rich. Probably never tbh.

10. How many languages you speak?

- Finnish and English, and I’m quite bad with both.

11. Where would you most like to visit?

- Boo, I don’t want to leave my home at all. :( Well, okay, Scotland and Iceland would be cool. 

12. What’s the best book you’ve read?

- It’s complicated. Since I feel Harry Potter is pretty much ruined for me, let’s say Asunder, since it’s actually pretty good book for being written by David Gaider, and also: motherfucking mages. Also, I loved Josir Jalatvan eriskummallinen elämä by Siiri Enoranta.

13. Who is your favourite BioWare character?

- Anders. Cole and Adrian come as close seconds.

14. Who’s your least preferred BioWare character?

- Umm, well. I don’t straight out hate any of BioWare characters, at least not anymore, since I’ve calmed down a bit, compared to my worst days. :D But of course there are some characters I like less than others. I, for one, think that characters like Solas or Krem or even Dorian or a solid half of Inquisition characters anyway aren’t that interesting, but I don’t still dislike them at all. Hmm. 

Let’s say Tallis, then. I always felt that there was a lot more Felicia Day than an actual BioWare character in her. 

15. What are your favourite games?

- Dragon Age & Mass Effect, Overwatch.

16. What’s your spirit animal patronus?

- A chubby cat.

17. Cake or ice cream?

- Ice cream. I don’t like cakes at all.

18. Dogs or cats?

- Cats. I’m afraid of dogs, sadly. :(

19. What was your favourite DA romance?

- Anders. 

20. Do you prefer sunshine or are you a winter person?

- Neither. I love autumn. 

[rhunae]

This is a self indulgent mess set right after Trespasser. It’s a big fuck you and twin finger salute to Bioware because gods dammit, I want my dragons. So yeah, this is self indulgent dragon age trash. Oh, and it’s long, and that’s even after shortening it. Sorry. (Ao3)

Words: 2484

Serafina Gets Her Dragon

After the Council meeting - 9:44 Dragon

Tall grass swayed along the worn path, brushing at her ankles and calves. At the archway, Serafina turned to scan over the two giant wolf statues down the hill where she left her companions. Cole lay along the spine of one of the wolf statues, his head resting against the back of its neck, the small elven toddler snuggled atop his chest, cradled in his arms. Cole made a good ‘uncle’; he was attentive and enthralled with the little elf. Pushing up on tippy toes, she searched for Bull and Dorian, but she could see nothing in the high golden grasses. She snickered softly to herself.

Ambling with a reverent gait into the empty coliseum, the field lay untouched for so long, it may have lain fallow for eons before she walked it’s forgotten grounds. Two years passed since the last time she tread across the arena, when Flemeth sent her here to claim the elven goddess’ guardian against Corypheus. That help came in the form of a dragon. 

Serafina did not expect a dragon this time. She didn’t expect anything. She was going to beg for help. Then what? Probably nothing. It was futile to try. How long had the priests and sentinels prayed to Mythal with no answer? How long had her people prayed to Mythal and received no answer? It was an act of desperation, but seeing Solas again revealed a raw and gaping wound she thought scarred over long ago; she didn’t know what else to do.

Her boots crunched underfoot, kicking up dust from the packed dirt and gravel. A group of robins pecked and scratched at the ground scattered into the wind when she reached them. At the Exalted Council, she intended to dissolve the inquisition and return to Wycome, to return to her clan where Theneras could grow up among his kin. She hoped she had enough time to give him sufficient memories to cling to as he grew older without her and never knowing his father. All that changed when Solas masterfully manipulated her through a series of eluvians, stepping metaphorically back in time to crumbling ruins when proudly wore the badge of Fen’Harel, and what that meant before the legends and myths were distorted by propaganda and time.

Pausing before the steps to the shrine, Serafina stared at the dragon statue of Mythal for a long, quiet moment, trying to form the words to move a goddess to respond; one she thought long lost to her People, squirreled away into the heavens by a Trickster’s lie.

“Mythal! Flemeth!” Serafina glanced around, birds chirped in the trees surrounding the coliseum. She thought she could imagine the older witch canting her head at the sound of her name. Maybe she was listening. Maybe she didn’t care. Solas removed her vallaslin, slave markings of an era long gone, but drinking from the Well of Sorrows made her a servant, with or without those marks. Would Mythal respond now? Did Mythal respond to the prayers of Abelas and the other sentinels? It was beginning to sound like a repetitive mantra. 

“I’m not seeking justice or vengeance of a wrong done to me. I call upon you as the Mother of our People. As the drinker of the Well of Sorrows, your servant. I am asking, begging, for guidance. I fell in love…” 

Sighing, Serafina paced in meditation before the shrine, the sound of her boots on the gravel creating a rhythmic tune, “My wolf, my guardian, my protector, my heart,… left my side to save his People.” 

Should she had claimed him so possessively? She remembered no stories relating to Mythal and the Dread Wolf implying intimacy. Solas was merely reverent at the temple. Would Flemeth answer, knowing the tales of the first witch of the wilds? Maybe she didn’t think this through. Maybe this truly was a mistake.

Rubbing her right hand fingers against her brow, what remained of her left arm hung useless at her side, her shoulders slouched in dejection as her thoughts turned increasingly negative and bitter, “I asked to help him. He refused. He walks the Din’anshiral. I— I can’t allow him to do this alone. If he’s going to change,… no, destroy my world, I need… I need… Fuck!” She ground her teeth, “Help me, Flemeth.”

Sinking to her knees, Serafina pressed her palm against her right eye, her voice thick with emotion, “The Return of the Elvhen People does not need to mean the death of Thedas— of my people. I don’t want to die. Help me merge his world with mine. Help me, help him. Help me save him, save us, save our so-.” Serafina’s voice cracked on the last. 

Pressing her forehead to the stone steps, tears fall silent from the corners of her eyes and plop with a less than dignified drip on the stone. She lay there sobbing on the steps to the shrine. Too distraught to pull herself up. All the emotions laid bare, raw, and overwhelming.

Flicker. A series of dreams left her reeling from their intensity and overall peculiar weirdness. As the last of the dreams faded. The ground shook. Sparkling light was flicked in her face, then the dream melted away to darkness. Leaving her dizzy and disorientated.

Serafina startled awake. The ground shook again. Small pebbles and sand bounced in place. Something large huffed heat and the stench of decaying meat close to her face. Turning her head slowly, all she saw was green scales and giant teeth just a mere few inches from her face. 

Screeching, she back peddled away and bumped into the dragon statue of Mythal.

The dragon tilted her head to look at her from one golden eye, then bounced away with two powerful leaps to the other end of the coliseum, her head swinging from side to side, her tail swinging opposite to maintain balance. 

“Boss?!” Iron Bull’s voice cut through the distance as he ran under the archway into the vacant space of the coliseum.

“Yes,” she called out to him, still trying to regain her bearing after being sucked into a series of weird dreams, then suddenly dumped awake. From the corner of her eye, she could see Iron Bull hesitate, “Are you ok, boss?” He called out. “I would attack but last time we were here, you gained a dragon…”

“I-I think so.” Serafina rose carefully, struggling for her initial balance, still not used to general movement with a missing limb. 

“She wants to help.” Cole wondered in awe, his daggers in hand but hesitant to close the distance.

The Tevinter remained near the arch, Thenaras tucked in the sling close to his chest. “You’re— you won’t need me for this, will you? Maybe some barriers? I got the kid…”

The dragon continued to swing her head from side to side, keeping the four in her line of sight, huffing small clouds of smoke from her nostrils.

“No, if she meant me harm, she would have,” Serafina gestured for them to stand down as she warily trudged closer, her steps slow and cautious; the voices from the Well of Sorrows whispering across the distances, instructing her.

The dragon shifted and settled her belly against the ground and tucked her lime green and black marble colored wings loosely against her body. 

“This dragon was the one we saved from the Qunari. We set her free.” It surprised her, an act of mercy by the infamous dragon killer, but the inquisitor didn’t have the heart to kill the tied down and tortured beast. It didn’t feel right. Did the dragon know she only hunted dragons that threatened human towns and settlements? 

“Yes, we helped her. So she is here to help you. She’s in pain.” Glancing over her shoulder, she noticed that Cole had resheathed his daggers and was now squatting beside the Iron Bull with a curious expression.

Nodding, “Yes, I see her horns were chopped off.” Serafina stepped closer until her and the dragon were only several feet from one another. “I noticed briefly when I was trying to set her free, but hadn’t got a good look before.  It looks like she is fighting an infection. The Qunari cut it pretty close to the quick. Hey, Dorian, do you have any of that ointment?”

“Let me check, “Dorian called out over the distance.

“Yeah. They called her Ataashi.” Iron Bull replied, “It means ‘glorious one’ in Qunlat.”

“They certainly named her well, Bull.”

The dragon opened her large maw and from deep in her throat sound waves rolled out over her tongue and blasted against her, sending her red hair into a flurry behind her and nearly knocking her off her feet.

“Uh, boss?”

“She’s communicating, Bull.”

“You understood that?”

“The Voices from the Well are … translating?”Reaching at her side, she pulled out her dagger, but when she glanced to where her left hand would be, she lifted her stump. She ground her teeth in frustration, “I need a little help here. Cole?”

The sound of his boots shuffling across the expanse increasingly grew louder until he stopped beside her, “She’s beautiful.” The Spirit of Compassion always seemed to hold a sense of awe in his voice.

“She is. Can you slice open my palm?” Serafina glanced at him, offering him the dagger in hand by the blade.

Cole peered at her under the brim of his large hat, the pale blue of his eyes partially hidden by his blond strands, “Are you certain? Won’t this hurt you?” “Only for a moment.” 

He took the dagger, and as she held out her right palm, he sliced the length of it from between her thumb and forefinger and down across the fleshy part of her palm. She hissed as the pain cut quick.  Making a fist, she approached Ataashi as the dragon opened her mouth and slid her tongue partway between sharp teeth. Pumping her fist several times, she drained some of her life essence atop the grooved tongue. The serpent tongue slid back in and the dragon closed her mouth. Stepped back, she felt a nudge when Cole tapped her shoulder to hand her a white linen handkerchief from his pocket. 

“Thank you.” She took the handkerchief, but stared dumbfounded as she stared between her right hand and the stump of her left arm. Grounding her teeth again in frustration, the feeling of helplessness weighed heavily against her chest.

“Let me help.” Cole offered, taking the cloth out of her hand and wrapping it himself, tying it off with a gentle tug.

“Again, thank you.”

As the human and elf were busy, the dragon stretched out one of her paws, a single claw stretched out and pricked the metacarpal pad of her paw until dark, red blood oozed from the weal. Once the makeshift bandage was secure, Serafina stepped forward and knelt down beside the dragon’s paw. 

“You’re going to—” Iron Bull was closer than before, fascinated by the process of a dragon willingly offering blood.

“You’re going to drink it? Like the Iron Bull when he chose to be a Reaver?” 

“There are many uses for dragon’s blood.” Dorian replied quietly, standing to the side and slightly behind the Iron Bull, keeping the child in his arms shielded. 

Rummaging in one of her pouches, the inquisitor pulled out a worn wooden cup and carefully pressed the lid against the oozing blood. It flowed thickly into her cup, filling the cup halfway, then Serafina rose and stepped back away. She stared at the dark liquid as she listened to the whispers from the Voices of the Well. 

“Dorian, will you help me with this? Bull and Cole, will you attend Ataashi? Cut off the ropes and apply the ointment to her horn stubs?”

As the Tal-Vashoth and Spirit of Compassion attended the dragon, she led Dorian a few feet away where they knelt facing one another. The Tevinter held the cup in both hands, holding it forward to keep Thenaras’ chubby fingers from grabbing it. The elven toddler whimpered with dismay.

“This isn’t for you, little one,” Serafina said, ruffling the shock of ginger atop his head. Pulling her hand from the toddler, her hand hovered over the wooden cup, the blue glow of magic directed into the thick dragon’s blood. The Voices told her the magic to perform, a form of blood magic she never even considered.

“This is fascinating. What is the ritual?”

“It’s to help with the bonding between me and Ataashi. I’ll be able to call for her from miles away.” The voices recited a series of elven words, then she repeated them aloud. The blood fizzled and bubbled briefly. 

Dorian tipped the cup towards him as the blood fizzled, and just at that moment, Theneras reached out and dropped his tiny, pudgy fingers into the cup. 

“Oh no!”

Theneras looked right at her and stuck his fingers into his mouth.

“No! Honey, no.”

The toddler made several faces of disgust, then stuck out his hand and tried to shake the blood off his fingers, but it was too late. “Off! Off!” He ordered whoever would listen.

Dorian handed the cup to her, then he quickly got out a cloth and wiped off the toddler’s hands.

With the Voices in her head frantically whispering for her to drink, she quickly drank the contents in the cup. There was no time to prepare herself, to find her nerve to drink dragon’s blood. But there it was. A thick malaise flowing thickly down her throat. It was tangy and metallic, and tasted of sulfur and smoke. And life. Life blossomed from the pit of her belly and spread to her limbs. A cloud swept across her mind, ruffling memories she had long forgotten, then clarity settled behind her eyes. The power of Ataashi’s blood not only gave her a bond with the beast, but also raw power flowed through her veins. 

“So, what will happen to the boy?” The strain in Dorian’s voice was palpable, the guilt heavily written on his brow.

Tilting her head, she listened to the voices, “The bond is weak because Ataashi did not taste his blood. He may be more powerful as he grows up than without it. He may even make a powerful warrior, or mage. He may have an affinity with other dragons, since he was not carefully bonded to this one. It’s really hard to say. Being so young, maybe nothing.”

With the ritual done, and Cole and Iron Bull finished caring for the dragon, the two retreating from the beast with a strange look of fascination and awe. Ataashi flexed her wings out, rose up and beat her wings until she could propel herself from the ground and fly off.

“Boss, life is not boring around you.”

“She’s happy we helped. She feels free.”

[ridiculouslyzevran]

I always wondered how Zevran would interact with Anders, not just superficially on a 'joking about our pain together' kind of level, but on a deeper level...what do you think?

Thanks for asking, this was totally fun, and hard and a little confusing… What is the criteria for ‘deeper level’? Would bonding through jokes about pain really be considered superficial? Who isn’t Zevran compatible with? (okay there are a few he’s not compatible with but I’m just going to stop myself right there.)

I’m currently trying to grok ‘deeper level’ right now. Because I have my own criteria for depth and that’s like… where one knows/sees the other with clarity, where they both feel known/seen. I’m wondering how deep should I go, here?

I want to address jokes about pain. They’re not necessarily a bad thing; it’s still an expression of pain, that pain does not become less obvious because it’s a joke. The jokes are a product of someone’s desire to express pain without really knowing how to, and levity can be a very good thing when it comes to trauma, which they both have had a ton of - it’s just a tolerable way for them to express and connect to an other.

Anyway… there is Awakening Anders and then DA2 Anders; they almost feel like two entirely different people to me. Anders was progressively getting less healthy while Zevran was on an incline in terms of mental health - unless the Warden dies - then… like… let’s just not go there, yes? Do you see why this question is hard for me tho? I’m a fic writer! Help! I need context!

DA2 Anders seems like he is less permeable than Awakening Anders. More likely to wall off to people, and given that Zev occurs to me as an adaptable sort as well as emotionally intelligent, he would understand, offering light contact, and being friendly. Anders would be a person Zev would allow extra tolerance for, given Anders is a walking ball of pain, angst and intensity. The deeper level connection here could be something like… Zevran shows compassion, Anders receives it, mutual respect happens. I think Zev would be a good dude for Anders to have around in his darker times.

Awakening Anders would be different, he’s more permeable/playful/open. I’m sure Zev could easily relate to someone with the same kind of ‘gilded cage’ background. He does have compassion for mages, exemplified during the Broken Circle quest in Origins if you choose to let the mages die.

“Flattery would normally distract me, but not today. I’ve taken the lives of many throughout my career, but this is no measured act. There is no chase, no hunt, no dignity in this… there is only slaughter.”

I’m going to digress a little bit here, but this quote from Zevran ruined my life. These were good words, and once your Warden hears them, all the Warden’s dialogue choices afterward are still consistent with “I am going to kill them anyway.” Then you kill them anyway; you can’t not kill them - there is no such option. The only reason I chose the option to kill them was to hear those words from Zevran and to show him that someone hears him. Thank you, for the opportunity there, Bioware, to prove to Zevran that his words have no value. Thanks.

Anyway, back to the thing.

I imagine their point of connection would be the ‘gilded cage’ thing, however, it would be one sided; Zevran being aware of this point of connection, and Anders probably not understanding that bit about Crow life. Zevran would likely also be aware of this and not assume Anders’ cage was similar, but the similarities might come out through… joking about their pain together. =D

I imagine their initial connection would be those painful jokes, and eventually lead to a bond where they could talk about something more openly after they discover common ground that way. For example, they’re both familiar with solitary confinement.

Deeper level connection would sprout from a dynamic that is light and friendly, because they both can appreciate such a dynamic. They would likely feel pretty safe together in that way, eventually feeling free to joke or not joke. Hear each other’s pain without needing to go into it, possibly being able to call each other out when they should.

Tldr; they’d totes be bros. 

Totally hope I sated your curiosity with this. Anyone else have thoughts?