#thank you again for the support - reviews comments kudos and bookmarks mean so much

[wondrouswendy]

Out of My Hands and Into Your Heart, Chapter 14 Fandom: Alan Wake (Video Games) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alex Casey/Alan Wake, Alan Wake/Alice Wake, Fictional Alex Casey/Alan Wake, Alan Wake & Barry Wheeler Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, POV First Person, Romance, Humor, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Dysfunctional Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon-Typical Violence, Miscommunication, Bisexual Disaster Alan Wake, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Character Study, Depression, Not Everything Will Be Warned For To Avoid Story Spoilers

Here we are again with another interlude chapter between books five and six. In this chapter, Alan is visited by someone from his past who he hoped to never meet again. If you click through, thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought of the update! 😊

[larrysballetslippers]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2022

I wanted to this again as I had so much fun last year. And I have grown so much since last year hheehe. Let's see how this year turned out.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 20 (+1 coming)

2. Word count posted for the year: 100,386

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson/OMC

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: If You Forget Me

Bookmarks: If You Forget Me

Comments: Caught In Between Love

More under the cut.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

When I Say Give Me (I mean the world). It was the first Girl Direction fic I have written and the first longer fic in a long time (19k is a lot for me). In the middle of this fic my crush broke my heart, but I sat that aside to write it and I still don't know how I did it. I even improved my writing speed. Couldn't have done it without @thebreadvansstuff, so thank you sweetie!!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Printed Against The Sky. It's a good fic, I don't mind it, but I think I could have done better. I wanted to write Age Play for a while so I think I overhyped it myself. It's still a great fic, but just not what I hoped it would be.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

On To Voice My Love. Let me just share it because I was smiling so much when I read it again:

Oh my god, this was so so good! I am not an active part of this fandom, but I saw this on my dash and read it. Also, I never read about smut in polyamorous relationships in general because I'm a little uncomfortable with that idea. But DAMN, this was so BEAUTIFULLY written! I loved how you portrayed the communication problem and need for emotional support for Harry, and how Louis is such a sweet supportive dom. Overall, it's such a healthy and precious demonstration of BDSM and also super hot. Loved it! Would really love to read more about these three! A small request, can we get a bit more dominant side of Andrew too, that would be hot af, but that's completely upto you. Overall, loved this sm.

The fact someone who wouldn't read this kind of story READ MY STORY AND LOVE IT!!!! I can't, I love it!!! it was a first for me, and honestly it was a bit weird to write at first, but now I am so used to have my three boys, I don't know to let them go (why the series is still going).

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Well it was around October, beginning of November. I was feeling really really stressed with uni and writing and all my responsibilities. I didn't really know why? But it was really hard to smile.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

ANDREW MY BABY BOY!!! Andrew is my OMC for my For My Lovers series. I didn't know I would love him so much. He is my precious little bean. Well... he's very bratty and a smart ass pain in the butt, but he's MY pain in the butt. He came together nicely, like I didn't plan much, it was so natural. Love him so much.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

When Love Is Enough... it's just something I wish someone will say to me one day...

Andrew let go of his body for the first time in a long while to hold Harry’s face. “Harry, listen to me. You’re our world, our everything. You’re not your sister, you are perfect just the way you are. We wouldn’t want anyone else. You are enough for us.” “Yes, you are the most caring and thoughtful person in the world, always putting us before yourself. Even before your own sorrows.” Louis kissed Harry’s forehead and sighed. Harry bit his lip again, it was uncomfortable and he wasn’t sure if it was bleeding or not. “Of course, you’re both so amazing, I umm… I should feel thankful to just be around-” Louis interrupted Harry. “You’re worth a thousand stars, a million suns and all the moons in the universe. Don’t let me catch you thinking you’re lucky to be around us, because we are the ones who should be thanking the heavens that we have you.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Omg, I thought I grew so much last year, this year is on a total different level. I started writing faster, make better plot progressions, dialogue got better. BODY LANGUAGE got so much better. I am much better with pacing, don't need to worry about it so much anymore. Short fics stay shorter, because I have been practicing with my fic commissions. I don't know, I write Girl Direction now, I feel I even have grown as a baby bi because of that! I am not so scared to say... boobs lol. I have gotten so much more confident.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Well, tone it done a bit... I have written a bit too much this year. I wanted to write 9? fics, because I wrote 8 last year.... 21 haha oopsie. I have definitely overworked myself and that's not good.

Besides that, I want to get better at writing. I want to better at grammar and imagery, less repetition. I want to grow. Be better at longer fics. My modelling au for the @notjustsmutficfest will be a longer one and I already feel overwhelmed haha. And a kid fic that I won't say too much about.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Well I think I couldn't have done anything, if it wasn't for @onlythebravest. Julia has helped me get through this year, I don't even know what would have happened if it wasn't for them! One thing, For My Lovers wouldn't have been here haahaha. At least not the way it is now!! Thank you for always hearing my whining and overexcited 2pm fic ideas.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Hahahaha, ummm. Almost all the emotional scenes in my fics have some form of self insertion hehe.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Well, have fun. Write what you want to write, don't be scared. If you want to write a fic where the one dee boys are butterflies, do it bestie.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

Well I have a few.

My Modelling au for @notjustsmutficfest. My girl direction religion fic for @1dreligionfest. Next season for For My Lovers. A pantyhose fetish fic. My kid fic. And a fic for next round of the @1dastroficfest, that's coming in January!!

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@onlythebravest @thebreadvansstuff @huggieshalo @kingsofeverything @harrysmaison @thedevilinmybrain @lunarheslwt @momrryrights @larry-hiatus @polaroidlouis @cyantific @parmahamlarrie @haztobegood @faithinwalls369 @panye @zanniscaramouche

[boosbabycakes28]

2022 Self Evaluation!

Thank you @greenblueish for tagging me ☺️

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 3

2. Word count posted this year: 178088

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Larry and occasionally Ziall as background relationship.

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Satellite

Bookmarks: Satellite

Comments: Satellite

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Oh definitely They Say That Time’s A Healer, How Long Is This Burn Supposed To Last. Because this fic is based of my real life and event that happened to me. It’s so personal and close to my heart.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I suppose out of the three I posted this year it’ll be Love In Slow Motion. I love the fic, and it’s not that I’m not proud of it, it just means a bit less to me, I guess.

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Oh all the the comments I received for any of my fics are the nicest and I appreciate all of them so much. It always means so much to me. But I think that the one that one of my friends said to me after reading They Say That Time’s A Healer, How Long Is This Supposed To Last, hit me a lot. I helped them through a difficult time, and honestly I couldn’t be happier when I know I managed to help at least one person with one of my works.

9. A time when writing was really hard:

Writing chapter 8 from They Say That Time’s A Healer, How long Is This Burn Supposed To Last, was the most difficult one I ever had to write, because what happened in there is exactly what happened to me. I cried a lot writing it but I went through it.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Grumpy Harry who doesn’t really like kids in Satellite 😂 It was a bit weird to imagine him like that but fun to write nonetheless.

11. Favourite excerpt of your writing:

Oh it’s hard for me to do this. I don’t really have one favourite thing, but maybe chapter 8 from They Say That Times A Healer, How Long Is This Burn Supported To Last again. Because I’m proud of having written it and the whole fic itself.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I don’t know if I’ve grown much, but I try every day to not take popularity to much to heart. My fics will never be as popular as some others and I think I have to accept that and write just for me ☺️

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I Hope, just like I said in the previous point, that I’ll manage to not take everything too much to heart.

14. Who was you greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

My best friend and also beta has always been the most supportive person around me and the biggest cheerleader. She helps me a lot with my self consciousness and my fears.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Well like I said They Say That Times A Healer, How Long Is This Burn Supposed To Last, is based on my real life. But there are always bits and pieces of me in my stories ☺️

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

If you want to write, write!!! 😁

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I will soon be posting my new fic, which is also my second ABO, called Invisible String, and I’m so excited to share it with you all!!

18: Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

I sont who has done it yet but I’m tagging @nouies @falsegoodnight @alltheselights @allwaswell16 @berzerkshires @parmahamlarrie @softfonds @larryyouknow @pocketsunshineharry

#self evaluation #2022 #tagged #🫶🏻

[forustothinkistobealive]

2021 Writing Self Evaluation

thank you Jess @daydadahlias for tagging me!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 2

2. Word count posted for the year: 18851

3. Fandoms I wrote for: The 1975

4. (Main) Pairings: Gatty

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments: Your name on my back (12 kudos, 1 comment, 1 Bookmark)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Christmas Lights - This one has quite a nice length and I feel like I’ve done a lot of things nicely here. 

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): Your name on my back - I mean it’s mainly smut, it’s not that special and kinda short. 

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: @vinylandcoffeecollection “Ah love- firstly THANK YOU because we always need more Gatty fics and especially Christmas Gatty fics! Loved that this was George’s perspective! I think @drinkurkombucha’s put a spell on us and got us all spinning them 😂😂😂I’m in total awe that English isn’t your first language- it must be so hard to do imagery especially in a different language and you have so many beautiful images here. I love the scenes where Matty and George reveal their feelings especially- the one in the garden where they kiss is so sweet! Love the drunken club scene and the way you write Matty! And the Christmas morning smut scene was total fire!Can’t wait to see what you write next!” - That made my entire day that day. Still does to be honest. It’s just really validating to see that one of your favourite authors thinks you’re good. 

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Just before Christmas because I thought I was never going to finish my fic in time. And I’ve also graduated “high school” (German version of it) and started university this year and it was really stressful and I didn’t really find the time to write. 

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: The smut scene in Christmas Lights. That fic was intended to be smut free but it just fit really well in that moment so I added it. 

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: 

““Great.” Matty looks like he doesn’t really know what to say, which is a first.

“Can I kiss you again?” George looks at Matty like his eyes hold the answer to all of his questions. Matty goes completely still for a moment but then he nods in a way that would be barely noticeable if George’s wasn’t so focused on his face.

Slowly, George leans down to Matty. His pulse is racing so hard that it feels like he’s gonna die. For a second he can feel Matty’s breath on his skin and then their lips are touching. The first thing George notices is that Matty tastes like smoke. Not that he minds it. Then he becomes conscious of Matty’s hands grabbing his face and his tongue exploring George’s mouth. Heat is soaring through George’s entire body.

When they let go of each other, George is gasping for air. He can see Matty’s chest rising up and down in sync with the shortened breath that’s leaving and entering his lungs.” - This is from Christmas Light. I’m not 100% sure that it’s my favourite because I don’t have one for sure but I quite like that bit. 

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I think as someone whose Native Language isn’t English I’m constantly growing as a writer because my vocabulary and knowledge about grammar are expanding with every bit I read or write. I’ve been doing a lot better with English punctuation and British English terms. And I’ve also been writing A LOT even though I haven’t posted any of it yet. 

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I want to write longer chapters. And well write more multi-chaptered works. 

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

@daydadahlias Both your writing and your being never fail to amaze me. You’re my #1 supporter and I appreciate that so much.

@vinylandcoffeecollection Your writing is so inspiring and your support and kindness mean the world to me. 

@drinkurkombucha Your works have changed the entire fandom for me. You bring so much life to it and you’ve been a huge inspiration for writing. 

15. Anything from your real-life show up in your writing this year: Always. What I tend to do a lot is adding angst to my works when I’m feeling down. 

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Always keep in mind that the reason you’re writing is because you love it and it’s fun. Yes, sometimes you have to push yourself but you’re writing for you and your wellbeing always comes first. 

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: Oh my God, so many. I’ve got 12 WIPs but I’m definitely so hyped for the Yoga AU and some multi-chaptered babies. 

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:  @vinylandcoffeecollection @drinkurkombucha

[umbrellagoblin]

The Umbrella Season turned 1 year old yesterday.

I totally forgot to write this down yesterday. February 9th is the date, but 9th is a Tuesday, and on Tuesdays I’m usually dead inside after nine hours of classes. That said - I don’t have much to say besides a couple of words of gratitude to you, my dear readers. Thank you so, very much for sticking with me throughout the journey thus far. The year that’s passed let me amass a following unlike ever before, and I truly am grateful that you all are interested in my works. 

It’s been a hectic year. Throughout it, I’ve managed to go through growth of character and skill unseen before. This hectic year wasn’t just about me - it was about everyone. Everything went downhill for me. I knew naught of what I was going to do in the future. There were no plans built besides writing, and so I did. But even that got out of the way when I lost all motivation because of a depressive episode that chased me throughout summer. Hence why I did absolutely nothing. And I mean nothing. Then, after the summer of ‘20, there came an absolutely AWFUL beginning to the last year of school. Zero motivation, zero ambition. The world is still burning, mind you, even now it has possibly become all the more stressful.  The Season is, and I am not even kidding, partially responsible for keeping me sane. Without writing like a damn typing machine, I would not have survived through high school. Seeing your support and interest in all the lore, all the characters I bring into this fanfiction, were, at times, the only moments of joy I’ve felt in my life. Now that it’s nearly at its end, I’ve already built up plans. I am a changed man. I have gained an amazing experience of writing something continuous consistently, and... I liked it! Though, with exams (possibly) approaching, I might also take a hiatus once the Umbrella Season will be done.  Once again, thank you. You mean a lot to me. Your comments mean a lot to me. Your kudos and bookmarks mean a lot to me. Your retweets, your reviews, your critique - everything. Thank you, dear readers, for everything. It’s been an amazing year in terms of productivity mostly because of you guys, and, I would not have gone thus far through it without you.  BY THE WAY READ THE SEASON HERE MORE CHAPTERS SOON YEET

[veilder]

In order to usher in a new year, I thought it might be nice to do a little “year in review” sorta thing for my AO3? For posterity, lol. I only started publishing my fanfiction in January of 2019 but I’ve made it this sort of tradition to take a screenshot of my AO3 stats every year. And since I have two years under my belt now, I now have something to compare, lol! 😁

Let’s start out with my year totals:

So, here you see what my stats look like sorted by year? (And also that drastic change where AO3 shifted from blue to red, omg.) However!! This is not entirely accurate! It makes it look like I wrote a lot more this year than last. Which... I mean, I did, but it wasn’t by nearly that big of a margin.

Here is my current total:

As you can, the numbers don’t quite match up. That’s because AO3 only seems to total their years by story, not by chapter. The longest thing I’ve ever written clocks in at about 52k words. I started writing it in 2019, but I didn’t finish it til 2020. Hence the entire total is added to my 2020 word count. You can see it here when I filter by year:

A lot less than my 2019 year-end pic, right? 29,124 words less, in fa1ct. Literally the greatest majority of the fic was written in 2019 and I’m here to complain about how AO3 totals this stuff, lol.

But I digress: when we get down to the actual numbers, I published 77,991 words in 2019. Which is absolutely nuts to think about, omg, especially coming from posting nothing at all. However, I went ahead and blew that number away this year with my whopping 87,208 total!! Almost 10k more than last year! And that’s taking into account that I have been so heavily burnt out since the end of August, too, and haven’t posted a thing since September 1st. So like... Wow. I really didn’t expect it to be that much? Not in this, The Year of Unspeakable Traumas. 

Now, with word count out of the way, I wanna highlight a few more things!

1. Kudos: Personally, I find kudos to be probably the most accurate statistic when looking at how well-received a fic is. Because it’s such an easy button for someone to press and I think it’s safe to say that most people who like a work will do so. Now, again, AO3 tabulates these by year of publication, not year the kudos is given. This is why there’s such a discrepancy between my 2019 year-end screenshot and the current one. A 392 kudos difference, lol! But also! That means that my older fics are still being read and kudosed, which is fantastic! However, this also means that, as I’ve written more this year and gotten far less kudos for those works, my overall percentage is down. 

2. Bookmarks: I love bookmarks. I personally use them a bit like a favorites list, though I know a lot of folks actually use them as, y’know... a bookmark, lol. For keeping track of ongoing fics. I still really love the spike in them I had this year, though! Again, tabulated by publication date, not year they’re given, so I’ve gained an extra 90 bookmarks for 2019′s fics! Again, that still puts them over 2020′s so far, but it wouldn’t if we were just going by end dates! So I think that’s pretty great!

3. Subscriptions: I really like this stat, lol. Because it’s a lot more accurate than the others just purely going by year, right? And it’s been a good year for me for subs! Considering I only had 56 subs at the end of 2019 and I have 141 now, that’s an 85 sub margin! I will put this down to me being a bit more established in my fandom this year. And also having more accessible and longer multi-chapter fics. (Even though my longest fic has about the same chapter lengths as the ones I’ve been working on this year, it’s also very niche, lol.) I’ve also gained 10 new user subs, which dang, thank you! 😮 4. Overall: So, my most popular fic for two years running continues to be The Nearness of You. I appreciate the support for this fic so much, especially considering it was both my first multi-chapter fic and my first foray into romance, lol. However, this year has also had some good contenders? It continues to blow my mind, the reception that my oneshot, A Simple Equation, has gotten. That fic is now third in my rankings for kudos, which is nuts! And coming up right behind it is my longest work for the year, we’re just two lost souls (swimming in a fish bowl). Absolute madness! 

It’s crazy to me to see how much I’ve done according to these stats. I’ve actually accomplished a lot more this year than I thought, even though I only have four fics posted for it (and one of them is incomplete... >_>). But moving forward into 2021, I still have so many things I wanna accomplish! Maybe I’m jinxing myself here, lol, but for this coming year I’d like to:

1. Finish writing Reflections. I can’t believe I’ve left it on a cliffhanger for so long. 😫 2. Write more platonic/family stuff. Even though I always try to include platonic relationships in my shipfics, I wanna do more that’s focused purely on that again. 3. Finish my dang coffeeshop fic so I can start posting it! It’s been half-written for ages, omg! 4. More rarepairs! Because I love them! And I have so many ideas!! 

So yeah. This has actually been very fun? It’s nice to just take a moment to look back at things and see how you’ve grown. Hopefully, I’ll have even more to look at next year, lol! 

But most, thanks to all of my readers for giving me the opportunity to even analyze these stats. It certainly wouldn’t have been as interesting or fulfilling without you all. I appreciate every comment and bookmark and kudos you gave this year, never doubt it! 😊

And to anyone who actually managed to get through this trainwreck of a self review, feel free to post your own looks at what you’ve been up to in 2020! I’d love to see your own progress! Feel free to tag me if you do! 😁

[beatrixacs]

Writing tag game

Tagged by @indestinatus! That is really nice idea to share this forward and I thank you for this.

Also, it was really sweet to read your answers. I love to see how other writers around me think and what they experience.

So here it goes:

Fanfiction.net name: Beatrix.acs

AO3 name: Beatrix_acs                  

Fandoms: NCIS, Star Wars

Tropes: Enemies-to-lovers is my most favourite trope ever, period. Paradoxically, I have written more for co-workers-to-lovers, lol.  So yeah, that’s my favourite trope, as well. Generally, I like to explore the multiple ways two characters that aren’t together but are drawn together can get together. I’m not much of a ‘committed relationship’ type of writer and so I usually cut my fics at the point when they make a finally couple.  

Number of fics: Thirteen published. Two more in works, so fifteen in total.

Fic I spent the most time on: Well, well... Christmas Meeting (NCIS, TIVA) It’s almost FIVE years since I have started to write it. FIVE YEARS. I have changed my job twice since then, lol. But it required a lot of research and all because it’s basically my baby. :D

Fic I spent the least time on: Ben Solo Lives (Star Wars, Reylo) When you return from cinema and you are absolutely heartbroken, what do you do as a writer? Sit down and write a better ending although it’s not the peak of what you are capable of. Needed like an hour for that.

Longest Fic: Christmas Meeting. If you write story for freaking five years, then it’s gonna show, right? 368,073 words. 41 chapters.

Shortest Fic: I somehow managed to write a drabble (I mean how?), Another Chance for Balance (Star Wars, Reylo) has 1,789 words.

Most hits/kudos/comment threads/bookmarks: Since I am relatively recently (like not even a month) on AO3 and I’m just reposting old fics there, gotta go with views and reviews on Fanfiction.net. As of 21st April, 2020, it’s 256,444 views on Kissing Deal (NCIS, TIVA) and 609 reviews on Christmas Meeting.

Total word count: I am a couple of words from a million – 958,418 words. You can bet those remaining 52,000 words or so are in my works I haven’t published yet (last three chapters of Christmas Meeting, Sleeping Buddies and Waterfall Bath)

Favorite fic I wrote: Christmas Meeting, of course. It takes places in my hometown and the city I live in so there is a huge part of myself in it. I don’t know if the readers realize that or not but for me, it has a strong personal significance. I have also projected a lot of my own experiences into the story.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Definitely not rewrite. I am a supporter of writer’s development and only looking back to what I wrote helps me to realize how much I evolved as a writer and then can happen only if the story I wrote a couple of years ago stays the way it is. Expand? Maybe... My one shot There’s Still Time To Change Your Mind (NCIS, TIVA). Like I said before, I purposefully end the stories at certain point so I don’t wish to expand them in any other way because I know I am not good at writing family life and all that.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: I would share a WIP from Christmas Meeting but I don’t think it can surprise anyone and what I have in plan for the next chapter for publishing, I want to keep a secret.

So, here’s a WIP of my upcoming rewrite of The Rise of Skywalker, Reylo edition, called ‘Waterfall Bath’ which is working title at the moment. It started off as a one-shot idea but soon evolved in my head into a full fix-Episode IX-it fic and so I am taking the opportunity to do just that. Reylos might find a familiar sentence in this WIP – I took the liberty of taking things from the movie I actually liked and decided to use them in my story, sometimes in completely reversed fashion. Guess you have to wait until I make progress enough in writing to start publishing it.

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“Let go of me.” She asked him out of instinct, her plea hollow and false as her body pressed to him when he ran his hand down her back.

It was either ignorance or inattention but he didn’t react to her words as if he didn’t hear them. Instead, he looked down on his chest and slowly reached for her hand over his heart. Pensively, he took it into his, measuring them and marvelling at the coincidence that his large hand could fully envelope hers and she watched him doing it, mesmerized by his actions.

“I offered you my hand once. You wanted to take it.” He said distantly as she turned her palm in his hand and they touched, lacing their fingers firmly in an intimate gesture. Then he looked at her and his voice broke. “Why didn’t you?”

“Wha-...” She let out in surprise, her eyes widening with shock as her chest tightened with burning anxiety.

She couldn’t believe that after all those months full of Force bond connections during which they had talked, yelled, fought with each other and alongside each other, stared at one another endlessly and provided so much comfort, he would choose this particular moment to touch upon the topic they had avoided for so long. What had happened in the throne room was a taboo neither of them had wanted to revisit.

“Are you kidding me? Why are you pulling this out right now?” She questioned him apprehensively, suddenly squirming in his embrace as she wished to flee away from this conversation and his pressing, urgent gaze.

His bottom lip trembled with a silent, desperate plea on his tongue. “Just tell me. I offered you everything I could think of... a new, peaceful order for the galaxy and you, becoming something meaningful no matter what your past is, no matter what my past is.” He said as he released her hand and buried his fingers into her hair, untangling the wet strands from each other.

“I...” She failed to find the right words because what she wanted to communicate was too complicated for verbal expressions. She could easily get lost on the way and if he really did want to know the answer, it was better to convey those feeling to him in a different way.

Opening the Force bond would definitely help because he would have the chance to sense her thoughts and read through them if she let him. Her eyes closed once again as she focused on the pervasive power everywhere around her, trying to tear down the walls he had constructed. She felt him to join her in the effort but despite the fact that it was a connection between the two of them, neither seemed to inflict a single crack.

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Now, my problem is that most of the writers I follow aren’t active at the moment due to other commitments but I may try tag @outforawalkbitkah (who I think is a writer), @dazzlingstarlight and @thewayshelooksatme and anyone else who see this is welcomed to do so, as well. :)

Thank you so much - for the questions and your attention!

[wallstagram]

june - july fic rec: month(s) in review

hello & welcome back to the june - july edition of fic rec: month(s) in review! we have a L O T to unpack this time, so let’s dive right in! throughout june & july, we have been blessed with the majority of @larryabroad, as well as the bulk of @hlsummerexchange2019, all of @wordplayfics, wanker’s day fic fest, and many more that i’m probably forgetting. summer was a great time to be a fic reader for sure, thank you to every author who contributed!! 

**disclaimer: not all of these fics were written in june/july, it is simply when i read them. however, a lot of them were. ***note: as always, if you do take my recommendation and read any of these works, please bookmark, comment, and leave kudos for these authors!! it is so important that we support the creators in our community. as an author, i know a sweet comment will often spur me to keep writing when i’m stuck. but, without further ado, here’s my recs below the cut!

J U N E : :

You Were Made To Be Mine by lovelarry10 (@chloehl10)

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...

This was such a cute read! At a whopping 580k, there is a LOT to sink your teeth into. Though I started it at the beginning of June, I haven’t even nearly finished yet, but it’s so good that it’s made it onto my rec list!

Get Off and Vote by haztobegood (@haztobegood)

Niall lets out a loud laugh, “Hey, listen to this. You know how elections are Tuesday? It says the Babeland on the edge of campus is giving out free toys to the first 100 people that show their ‘I Voted’ sticker.”

“How patriotic.” Louis laughs. “Maybe I should go.”

Haha! This one was great. At 3k, it’s a perfect quick read for some sexy, patriotic fun. 

Surprise Me, Space Boy by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Louis is a solo officer on Space Station Zeta and the isolation can present many challenges, not least of which is that it’s really bloody hard to date. He’s pinning his hopes on that changing with a fellow solo officer, Harry, from a neigbouring station who gives great banter and has a gorgeous smile. Maybe online dating has its benefits after all?

OR The Space Wank Fic.

Oh, this one was so good!!! The thing I love about literally anything Dee writes is that she just thinks completely outside the box. I feel like I never quite know what’s going to happen (in the best way!) and her originality totally made this fic amazing. (7k)

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied (@crossnecklace)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

This was such a good read! It’s written in such a way that you’re utterly sucked into the verse so much that you’re a bit sappy when the fic is over. Kinda makes you feel a bit lovedrunk just from reading it. (29k)

Found My Hallelujah by crimsontheory (@ireallysawanangel)

As an engagement gift from his parents, Harry and his fiance receive an all expenses paid cruise trip for two. But one week before they're set to sail, Harry walks in on his fiance cheating on him. Newly single, with the cruise tickets in hand, and his bags already packed, Harry brings along his sister instead. And maybe the cute bartender on the ship might just be the person Harry needs to help him put back together all of his broken pieces.

I have so much to say about this one! I had the absolute honor of beta’ing this 35k work (which im pretty sure i just cheerlead you bc nicole you know grammar isn’t my strong suit...lmfao) and honestly it has become a fic that i love so much! nicole is such a talented writer; everything she writes just brings out so much emotion from her audience, and she has such a great sense of characterization! if you liked this one, check out its sequel, Now I’m Moving Up because it’s great too!!!!

J U L Y : :

Whisk me off my feet by allwaswell16 (@allwaswell16)

When Louis locks himself out of his apartment in just a pair of novelty underwear, he hopes his new neighbor can come to his rescue.

Haha! This one was so cute! What a darling fic! (5k)

The Charles Compass Trilogy by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Louis Tomlinson is a successful writer who rents a beach house on the Cape to try and finish the final book in his successful Charles Compass trilogy.

So I’m convinced that any rec list I make will not be complete if Sada isn’t on it. Here’s the thing - I fell in love with this story before she was revealed as the author, and honestly I had no clue. She’s got this amazing way of being able to change her style to fit the kind of story she’s trying to tell. This is such a good look at the writing process, highly recommend! (9k)

From The Heart series by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat.

As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind?

Okay, Dee really killed the game this time. Because I was OBSESSED. I mean honestly checking my phone at work to see what the newest installment was. This series is so fulfilling and so so hot to think about as an author! (25k)

blue eyes, black jeans, lighters, candy by delsicle (@emperorstyles)

Harry is in Madrid and Louis had a hard week.

So, the whole dom on tour series is really good, but this is my favorite work of the two. I love basically anything Delaney writes but this was extremely hot! (4k)

Could you love me anyway by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Dear Mistress Lorin: I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and was hoping you’d give me some advice for something that happened with me and my boyfriend. I’m really worried that I hurt him.

aka Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.

Okay. If you know me at all, you know that the way to my heart is either spanking, kink negotiation, or both. This just delivers on it all, and it catches on some main parts of BDSM-for-newbies and kink-gone-wrong that people often pretend never happens. I could gush so much about this, but go ahead and just read it yourself because it’s too good to miss!! (13k)

you are half of me (and I am all for you) by angelichl (@angelichl)

One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia.

Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he?

Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.

Okay WOW. I have so much to say about this one!!! So first off, the biggest thank you to adri for writing this fic for me for HL Summer Exchange!!! Honestly I feel like you spied through all my hopes and dreams and loves (including parenthesis in fic titles??? love it) and squished it all into this fic. it’s just the best fic, and it feels like warm summer air and tracing constellations in the stars and falling in love. if you haven’t read this already, please do!!!! It was so good I teared up when I first read it! (25k)

Heading for Limbo by kingsofeverything (fullonlarrie) (@kingsofeverything)

Childhood best friends who’ve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louis’ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years it’s been, it’s as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more.

When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them.

The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

Okay. Okay. This fic literally is one I will remember for the rest of my life, and i’m not even being dramatic about it! So, I really do enjoy leaving authors detailed comments about their fics, but that just wasn’t enough... I really had to message Lauren this whole essay about how Heading for Limbo helped me deal with a lot of emotions I was feeling in my own personal life, and it helped me fully realize that i’m bisexual. (did i just come out?? yikes) it was nice to see a fic where things weren’t perfect over a long stretch of time. It was amazing to see Harry realize his sexuality later in life, because that was one of my main struggles. this fic is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Literally, Lauren, thanks for changing my whole life!!! (101k)

Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (@becomeawendybird)

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Okay, if you’re new around here, this fic was also on one of my previous rec lists, but then Molly had to ruin my life and write another chapter of it. Jesus Christ!!!! I literally could read this fic every single day and die happily. It’s so hot, and the characterization is so good. So, I guess this rec is specifically for chaper 2, but you’ve gotta read chapter 1 also! For the betterment of your life, of course. (9k)

Abstract by Star55 (@star55)

After Zayn draws a naked Harry for her art class, she finds that she can't stop drawing Harry and Louis' naked bodies, usually engaged in some form of sexual activity.

Literally - this was hot as balls. Loved it! (8k)

alright guys, that’s it! if you read all the way to the bottom, you deserve a sticker. i hope you guys enjoy some of my favorite fics i’ve read! don’t forget to go bookmark, comment, and give kudos! and just remember: we are all human. if you read a work, and loved it, and didn’t comment, it’s never too late! give your author some loooooooove. my life has been super busy and i really haven’t been in the place to leave the thought-out comments i like to, so most of these authors can expect comments from me soon. thank you to all the authors listed above, have a nice day everyone! also, feel free to send your favorite fics into my ask - maybe they’ll end up on my next list!!!

[foxwatchesanime]

How I stopped caring about comments: A rambly post by me

This is rambly so hold onto your seats, I apologies. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about comment/review culture in the last few months, particularly after returning to a brand new fandom as a writer and regular content creator. Maybe this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, maybe not, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the way I perceive comments, how it’s changed for me since I’ve been in fandom and I’d love to hear from other people what their opinion is and how they relate to comments on their work.

I’ve been creating content in fandom spaces for about eleven years now. I started out on YouTube when I joined my first fandom, Merlin, and I made my first fanvideos in 2009. In December of 2009, I published my first fanfiction, plus one sequel which remains unfinished as well as a few other smaller projects. In October of 2010, I published my first podfic and would go on to publish two more. My focus in fandom had always been YouTube, where I regularly created fanvideos. My schedule was never consistent, as with most vidders back in the day, but I’d be comfortable in saying I posted regularly discounting three unintentional hiatuses, one in 2013 following the Merlin finale, one in 2015 probably due to a lack of inspiration and one in 2017 after what I was sure was going to be my permanent comeback to YouTube, only for my hard drive to break and delete all my footage yeeeeeey. 

I’ve now made an actual, official return to my original platform, this time creating videos for my new passion and fandom: anime. Since February of 2020 I’ve also been regularly publishing fic and have no desire to stop doing so. I’m thoroughly invested in new fandom spaces again and am engaging with its fans and the content. 

But the one thing I have seen change drastically in my approach to things is commenting, following and general engagement. 

Let’s take a step back. 

When I first started posting content, comments were not something I even had in my consciousness. I think I knew YouTube comments existed, but I didn’t really pay attention to it. I didn’t even know what subscribers were until I started hearing other people talk about them and then I suddenly felt like it’s something I should be keeping an eye on myself. 

In a centuries old vlog of mine that is now private on my channel, I noticed that when I hit 100 subscribers, I made a video thanking everyone because I was so excited that with more subscribers, I was going to “make more friends.” Oh dear xD 

But the truth is, I have been consistently and chronically bad at keeping up with or caring about the analytics of my various platforms. It wasn’t till writing this post today that I went to check my FF.net account to see how many comments my first two Merlin fics ever got. I still couldn’t tell you my exact number of YouTube or Ao3 subscribers, how many hits or kudos my fic have and I don’t think I’ve ever checked my bookmarks for notes, or whatever you’re able to leave on there. 

Commenting culture on YouTube, for all my joking earlier, was primarily about connection, at least back then. Most of the old guard have moved on and those who have remained are now vidding in other fandoms. The social aspect of YouTube in my opinion has changed dramatically since I was at my peak output on there, but I remember how interactive the comments sections used to be. They literally were, where you made friends.  

A couple of years ago, me and a friend of mine started a Merlin podcast called Merlisten. We created it for fun and without many expectations of what might come out of it. And it was this that changed my relationship with commenting for good. 

Doing Merlisten felt, for the first time in a long time, like pure creativity and passion without anyone’s permission. We always encouraged people to leave feedback as one does, but I don’t think either of us expected to get much, if any. Even considering the incredible support we’ve received with feedback coming in almost every single episode now, there is still a clear and overwhelming gap between the amount of comments given to an episode of Merlisten, to one of my old fanvids or fics. It’s even more interesting when one considers how much more effort and time went into creating Merlisten compared to say, editing or writing, at least for me personally. The amount of man hours spent on creating one 2.5 hour episode from pre-production to final posting often outweighs any other video or chapter I’ve created. Not always, but often. 

What struck me as interesting, however, was that even though comments weren’t always consistent and I always love and continue to love reading them, it’s not what was fuelling me to work hard on this project. I was doing it because I adored it and I knew it was something I was proud to put into the world. 

And that literally changed everything.

I think for a long time, I was always trying to cater my art to what might get the most attention or please the widest demographic of people. It’s how you think when you’re young and you don’t know any better. But for the first time, I was creating something on my own terms that I had no idea if anyone would even listen to and the actual creative process of making said art was ten times more rewarding than any single comment I could ever read. Which really, what I realised, is what art is supposed to be. I can safely say that if Merlisten didn’t get a single comment from here on in, I would still want to see it to its conclusion for one very simple reason: Because I had something to share. 

This brings me to my recent return to writing fic in fandom and it’s not a decision I’ve regretted for a second. More than anything, I’ve realised how personal art can really be, especially when it’s in writing. I’ve found it revealing and cathartic and fascinating in a way that I didn’t ever imagine.

But more importantly, I’ve realised that the real beauty for me in engaging in art is the ability to get an emotional response from it or to relate to it. And that goes for both other people’s work and my own. I can feel just as invested in my own work as someone else’s and that’s not because I think my work is amazing, it’s because I know it’s come from something that was living in me. When I put something out there that I made with my own two hands, that feeling now trumps any sort of feedback I could possibly get and that’s the endorphin I live off. 

Don’t mistake this for me not liking comments, that’s obviously not true. My brain gets the same dopamine hit as anyone’s when I get a notification for something or other, but I’ve realised that I have a very specific relationship with comments that I definitely didn’t have before, if my requests for review on FF.net is anything to go by.

Now, what I find exciting and thrilling is the thought that, if writing this fic got this sort of emotional response out of me, the writer, I wonder if there are other people out there who think the same way I do? Who have a similar way of experiencing joy or suffering or humour or who like the same things as me? That, is an insanely invigorating feeling. And then when someone chooses to take time out of their day to tell you that what came from your head is the same sort of way they feel about life? That’s not a comment, that’s not feedback, that’s a connection you have with another person. And that’s where I start to get excited. And it’s taken me this fucking long to realise it. 

Honestly, I was really worried upon returning to writing and vidding this year that my experience working in digital marketing, where everything is about numbers and social media is all about engagement and nothing else, that I would be overwhelmed and not be able to switch off the part of my brain that’s been trained to think like that. I’m so relieved that that’s not the case. 

As previously mentioned, I suck at giving a shit about analytics and looking at my own stats. I couldn’t give a flying fuck. But I did just go and check my YouTube videos since returning back to vidding. Not a single one of them has views over 200 at this point. Most have less than 100. My most viewed video on YouTube has 57,000 views. And the thing is, there might have been a time when I looked at that and thought, well, this means I suck. This means I can’t make art. This means there’s no point to it.

But no, that's not true.

The point is not how many people see it, how many people like it, how many people comment on it. The point is that I made it. I’m going to continue making YouTube videos despite the fact that the algorithm will destroy any chances they have at getting engagement or views. Even if not one single person comments on them. Because when I’ve finally rendered a new video, or finished proof reading a new chapter, I feel so fucking happy that everything else is just window dressing to me now. 

Because not only is online engagement and following such a stab in the dark these days anyway with algorithms changing and trends moving constantly, but this is the real truth about comments, following and feedback:

The truth is, I don’t need a stranger on the internet to praise me so that I can feel good about my art. The day that I start doing that, I’ve already lost. I used to think that way on a regular basis. Guess what, it didn’t make me produce better art. It didn’t make my life better. Because being validated by others never does. It doesn’t matter how many keysmashes I might get or how many sonnets or kind words, because If I don’t like what I create, there isn’t a single human being on the planet who will make me like it, no matter what they say or how they say it. For others, this might not be the case. But this is my reality. 

I know this, because I recently speed-wrote and published a fic for a fanweek. I wrote 13k in about 8hrs. So far, it’s received nothing but positive words. But it doesn’t matter. After I published it, I had a crisis about how it wasn’t good enough, that there should have been an extra arc, that it ended too quickly, that there wasn’t a climax. Even as the comments came in, it didn’t change my mind. Because other people’s comments will never really lead to fulfilment. 

I want you all to know that I get emotional over every single comment that is sent to me. Every personal story, ever keysmash and heartfelt thoughtful message that took the time to analyse my work. Connecting with you guys has been one of the biggest joys of entering this fandom. But it’s not going to be what fuels me to create and to carry on doing the best work I can. All I can do is treat it as the wonderful privilege that it is, and not any part of the reason I do it.  

In conclusion:

Finally, at age 27 and in the midst of enjoying fandom after a very long period of being either meh about it or lurking, I finally feel content with the fact that I want to create in order to put things out into the world that I worked hard on, that I’m passionate about and that hopefully, in whatever way it might be, it might have touched someone who feels the same things too. It makes me feel accomplished, it makes me feel like I might be contributing something small to the world and it makes me feel like maybe one other person was made happy by it. And even if they never tell me that and if no one else ever comments on what I create, or even if they comment on it in spaces that I never see; private servers, chats between friends or blogs that I don’t follow, that’s also fine. Because there’s always at least one person who is going to feel happy that she made something. And that’s me. 

The short version: I never used to care about comments, then I did, and now I no longer do. 

Sorry for the ramble, but I wanted this here for myself to look back upon in case my opinion ever changes on this or I ever start to lose my way again and feel overwhelmed. I’d love to hear your guys’ experiences with this sort of thing and whether you’ve ever felt bogged down by the need for feedback.

[karasunonolibero]

2019 writing self-evaluation

so i did this over on my main last year, and since i had what i felt was a productive year, i wanted to do it here! i’ve included all works, from every fandom i wrote for, so there’s definitely a variety but also a clear distinction of when i stopped writing 1d and started writing for haikyuu, heh. anyway, i’m proud of all the work i’ve done this year, so here’s to 2020!

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2019

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 50

2. Word count posted for the year: 147,038

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

two loves have i (5 january)

it’s only your imagination again (25 january)

the pain’s only temporary (8 february)

blow a kiss, fire a gun (9 may)

waiting to be found (14 may)

a swim with a shark (6 june)

sweet and lowdown (19 june)

one more time as if we planned it (24 june)

always be my thunder (23 july)

will your mouth read this truth (30 july)

tumblr drabbles & prompts (last updated 3 august)

I’m on my way up (’cos you make me bliss out) (completed 4 august) (collab with Rider_Of_Spades on ao3)

even mountains crumble into the sea (7 august)

we’re on each other’s team (14 august)

dangerous, tainted, flawed (20 august)

life can do terrible things (25 august)

the night before life goes on (1 september)

when the letter says a soldier’s coming home (17 september)

when the air ran out (19 september)

something missing tonight (21 september)

built castles from sand (26 september)

underneath the stars we came alive (8 october)

sweet talk and sugar (10 october)

got my name on this treasure (11 october)

just a little taste, babe (14 october)

iwaoi horror week drabbles (completed 1 november)

don’t let the tide come (31 october)

daisuga week drabbles (completed 24 november)

how (not) to put on a condom (26 november)

taste the tension, now i’m begging (2 december)

kiss the boy (7 december)

till tonight do us part (11 december)

i wish i could be there now (13 december)

on our way to twenty-seven (15 december)

for the dream far away (24 december)

a collar full of chemistry (25 december)

fall down and commune with me (28 december)

a little of love’s electricity (31 december)

the city is at war (last updated 31 december)

4. Fandoms I wrote for: (stats pulled from the ao3 filter feature on my works)

haikyuu!! (41)

one direction (9)

the legend of zelda: breath of the wild (3)

all time low (1)

crystalline (1)

5. Pairings: (i didn’t count side or past pairings)

iwaizumi hajime/oikawa tooru (14)

sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi (13)

oikawa tooru/sugawara koushi (4)

azumane asahi/nishinoya yuu (3)

kuroo tetsurou/sawamura daichi (2)

kuroo tetsurou/yaku morisuke (1)

akaashi keiji/oikawa tooru (1)

sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)

sawamura daichi/terushima yuuji (1)

sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)

link/revali (1)

mipha/zelda (1)

louis tomlinson/harry styles (5)

louis tomlinson/zayn malik (1)

alex gaskarth/louis tomlinson (1)

liam payne/louis tomlinson (1)

zack spade/pixel fade (1)

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: two loves have i (275)

Bookmarks: two loves have i (34)

Comments: two loves have i (25)

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

on our way to twenty-seven! i was digging into some identity and sexuality issues that i myself have dealt with in the past and writing about it was the first time i’d really dove into some of that stuff, so i really enjoyed writing it and i think it’s some of my best.

i’m also really proud of i’m taking back the crown and i wish i could say why. i just really like the way it came out. writing oikawa as this desperate dethroned prince trying to reclaim his kingdom at any cost only to be beaten at his own game in his own home was just...ugh. it was so much fun to write.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

one more time as if we planned it, definitely. i just felt super rushed writing it. it was for the one direction rarepair fest, which was super fun, but i had Just finished a longer fic a few days before this one was due and i initially tried to drop out because i thought i wouldn’t be able to finish it, but i did, but i still feel like it’s rushed and just not as good as it could have been if i’d planned better and given it some more time.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

im gonna do what i did last year and post more than one, because 1. i can’t decide and 2. i quite honestly am pretty proud of a lot of what i wrote this year

from when the letter says a soldier’s coming home —

Tooru’s squealing somewhere behind them, and Hajime’s gruffly trying to get out the door, and he’ll have to call the school and make up something about being sick so he can spend the day catching up with Daichi, but it can wait. It can all wait. Because Koushi’s waited long enough. It’s about time the rest of the world waits for him.

from strawberries on a summer evening —

Suga hums against him, licking strawberry seeds from between Daichi’s teeth, like he’s just as intoxicated by Daichi as Daichi is with him. Daichi could live here, in this feeling, ignoring everything except how Suga sounds (like bliss personified), smells (like sunblock and sweat), tastes (like sugar and salt). He’s the hottest part of the summer, high noon in mid-August, just this side of too much to handle, but addicting in how it leaves you at its mercy.

from on our way to twenty-seven —

“Sorry, what was your name again?”

Tetsurou opens his mouth to say his American name, but he catches Daichi and Suga looking at him, and he swallows it down. “My name is Tetsurou. Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“I thought you wanted people to call you Tyler,” Timothy says.

Tetsurou shoots him a glare and says it again, feeling his confidence start to grow. “My name is Tetsurou Kuroo. Tetsu is fine, too, but I don’t go by Tyler anymore.”

12. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

any time tasteofsummersnow left me a comment, it made my heart go doki doki!! her comments are so in depth and so very sweet and it’s so much fun to see her real-time reactions to my writing. i go back and reread them like once a week they’re so nice ;_;

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

the spring/early summer in general was tough, like from march to june. i didn’t post anything between february and may, and i feel like i was struggling a lot creatively around like may/june of this year. i think it’s because a lot of stuff in the 1d fandom was really turning me off at the time and that’s when the burnout fully hit.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

definitely sugawara in the city is at war. i was writing that first chapter and initially i just wanted to see him step up when daichi wasn’t around but he very quickly turned sadistic and ruthless and scarily sharp, which is just so much fun to write him as. and his relationship with daichi is just—ugh. love that violence-fueled romance. they would kill a hundred men for each other and be turned on once they were finished.

honestly, all of the city is at war has surprised me. the idea came to me in a dream on a long bus ride, of all the clan leaders having a meeting and being attacked, and i woke up and banged it out in 36 hours. i meant it to be a oneshot but as i wrote it, i realized i loved the au so much there was no way i could leave it at that. so now it’s got a whole plot and all that. fun!

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

last year i said i felt i grew writing angst and exploring different emotional themes, and i think i built on that even more this year. i did a bunch of shorter pieces this year and i feel a lot of them really explored emotions and characters more than plot, and that’s been so much fun. and then as well, like i said before, i’ve branched out into the crime-action genre with the yakuza au. and! iwaoi horror week was my first real attempt at spooky/creepy/horror-type writing, and, it was a fun challenge for sure.

i also said i wanted to just keep writing and be spontaneous and i definitely did that this year. i posted so many fics not caring how long it had been since the last one—sometimes it was less a day. numbers stopped mattering to me. i posted just because i wanted to put my writing out there and share it with the world, knowing there had to be someone out there who’d like it.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

i feel like 2019 was a year of trying a lot of new things, so in 2020 i’m hoping to explore some different ships and tropes. the sheer number of characters and ships in haikyuu means there’s a ship for just about every trope and au out there, and i want to play around with some dynamics i’ve never written before.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

as always, a shoutout to the loggies, who have been a fantastic source of inspiration and support all year even after i retired from 1d fic. and i would also like to thank the people i met via various hq discord servers—you know who you are!! thank you for the sprints, the encouragement, the inspiration, and the friendship. as someone brand new to the fandom, the support and sense of community has been nothing short of amazing, and you guys are part of the reason i felt so comfortable in this fandom so quickly.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

actually, yeah. even mountains crumble into the sea was written the night before i broke up with my ex. i wrote it as an exercise to get all my feelings out, lay them all on the table where i could see them and pick through them, and then imagine the best possible way the scenario could go.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

honestly—just write! write what you’re happy with. write even if you don’t post it. write, because everything you do is practice that’ll help you improve.

and don’t be afraid to write out of order or write more than one project at a time. i know that won’t work for everyone, but for me, if i didn’t immediately write what was on my mind, i probably wouldn’t have posted half of what i did this year.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

hey remember last year when i said i was gonna finish the breath of the wild au?? L M A O i’m really gonna finish it next year i swear!!

i have a fic posting in the spring for the nsfw big bang which i’m ALSO very excited about! i’m lucky to be working with such a talented artist and the end result is gonna be amazing and i’m so so excited.

i also want to keep going with the city is at war, because that plot was a pleasant surprise. and there’s an ever-growing list of fic ideas and aus that i’m so excited to write—some of them were originally for larry aus but i’ve repurposed them for haikyuu pairings and that’s helped breathe new life into some old ideas.

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

anyone who sees this and wants to do it! just tag me, i wanna read your answers!

[icypantherwrites]

Just a quick request for some advice, I've noticed you seem to be very good at promoting your works, requesting feedback and actually getting some, and reposting on Tumblr and such. Now admittedly, you are an awesome author and I pretty much love everything you write, but I have to think your promotion abilities are part of what brings you hits, kudos, likes, and feedback. Do you have any advice on the best ways to promote my fanfiction, build a fanbase and short of begging, get more comments?

Self-promotion and marketing definitely are a large part of my fanbase. I’ve seen it go both ways; amazing writers and fics that don’t have much attention and not-so-great ones that have huge followings because of social media presence of the author. So while having quality stories is still a large part of it, so too is marketing.

My background is not actually in marketing but journalism, but I did run a number of social media pages and have always been a very big people-person and engager, which I’ve applied to pretty much all aspects of my life. One of my favorite slogans I’ve learned from retail (and marketing) is you can’t sell what’s not out. i.e., if you don’t present your product you can’t expect to have any customers (or in this case readers).

In my case, I’m a very prolific author, meaning I have a lot of stories under my name and I’ve been fortunate that a couple of those have become bigger name ones in this fandom for extra exposure. The more you have, obviously the more you will “sell” and therefore, generally, the more exposure you’ll get and then comments (comments though are a fickle beast and it really really varies). 

I’m borrowing some of the advice from a previous post (you can always search my blog with “#writing advice” for more things) but these would be a couple of strategies I would recommend you try out :) Not all of them may be applicable to you either, as all authors write at different paces and volumes and have different time constraints, but maybe something in here will help ;) 

1. Have an update schedule! This one is really important. Whether that means you pre-write the entire fic or you buckle down and commit to a regular posting (which is how Color was for me for the first couple months until I pre-wrote enough to kick back and relax a bit xD) be it weekly or bi weekly or every two weeks (the other bi weekly? Such a weird word) you do that.

When you get people on a schedule and they are more likely to come back and comment with something other than the dreaded “update soon!” because they know you are going to update soon and when exactly that is. Give readers something to plan and look forward to, just like a favorite TV show that airs weekly.

2. Respond to comments. Whether you write giant-ass paragraph responses or even a simple “thank you ♥” it goes a long way. I know I always am more inclined to really keep up on a fic where the author has shown to appreciate their readers (although if I read your fic and like it I will comment regardless ♥). I know for me right now I have stopped doing this as it just got... draining for me, to respond in detail and never see those readers again and it felt hurtful to me. But I still make a point to say thank you in the author’s notes and if anyone has a question I do try to answer that too.

3. Read other authors’ works you enjoy but do not self-promote. Please don’t do that. I hate it when I see that and it makes me even less inclined to check out a fic (I’m already very picky with what I read and don’t read much at all). By all means comment on the fic and be like “I headcanon Keith is a good cook too!” because those personal details are lovely and maybe that’ll inspire that other author to click on your profile to see if you’ve got a fic with such a theme to go read.

But otherwise, keep your comments about their fic (or your reaction to it) and show your excitement and passion for that fic. Bookmark too (and Ao3 lets you add comments; you can bet if I see a nice comment on a bookmark tag I’m clicking on that author to see a; what else they’ve bookmarked and b; if they’ve written anything). Well written and passionate comments tell a lot about a person and if they can write a nice review they likely can write a nice fic and could be worth an extra click to see their profile. That is indeed how I’ve found several authors and fics I now read :)

4. Chapter length. This I have noticed over time but shorter chapters (for me around 3k-4k) tend to get more comments than longer ones because people have “more time” upon finishing to leave a comment. It doesn’t always work but it is something I’ve witnessed on more than one occasion. That said, don’t write a chapter of only 1k words and think they’ll pour in because it’s short. Leading on to…

5. Whatever your chapter is, make sure it has content that people will want to respond to. Not every chapter has to have explosions and action and intense heart-to-hearts, but every chapter should have something memorable. Filler chapters are unavoidable, especially in longer fics, but do what you can to make them not quite so “blah” and give them some heart.

6. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, meaning write multiple things (although perhaps not as much as me ^^;). Having a mix of a longer running chapter fic (for those “episodes” back in bullet point one) to keep people coming back and having a few shorter fics (be one-shots, two-shots, or shorter chaptered fics) to draw in new people and help you out when you get stuck on your other fic is invaluable. I definitely expanded my audience and brought in new readers that gave me little boosts of support when I started publishing one-shots semi-regularly. 

7. Don’t be afraid to self-promote on your blog. Reblog your works, pull out snippets to share, reblog those too if you don’t get many notes. I don’t really get how Tumblr’s tag system works, but tag your first few tags with the biggest ones that those browsing might stumble across. Ao3 does let you link to your Tumblr so long as you aren’t advertising commissions or patreon or the like in said blurb so make sure you link to your tumblr too to get cross-traffic.

8. Post sneak content on your blog; previews and snippets. Get people excited about the work before you post it. 

9. I don’t know how reasonable this is for most, but holding little games or contests can really up the engagement. Starting out, doing something like a bingo card prompt event could be one to consider; the “prize” is writing the prompt which gets you both more content, therefore more eyeballs on said content, and hopefully a very grateful fan who will leave you a nice comment and reblog it for their page. 

10. I like ending on this number. Um, oh, okay! This is both great for writing experience, content and engagement! If you see a piece of fanart you like that you feel compelled to write a bit for, do so and reblog it! Anyone who clicks on that art will see your reblog of it and maybe, maybe, the original artist will reblog your selection too! Not just artists either, but there are lots of “prompt” type posts I see that you could do that for as well. 

AO3 | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Discord

[chloehl10]

I was tagged by the lovely @pocketsunshineharry​, thank you so much, love!

All answers should be about works published in 2018. (Skip any questions you don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can answer them if they want.)

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3:  29. Oops. Lol

2. Word count posted for the year:  

1,725,628. That’s 1.7 million words. I have no excuse.

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

A Lot Of Fight Left In Me You Bring Me Home Wonder How I Ever Made It Through Don’t You Remember? I Got Me An Appetite Tell Me That You Want Me Tonight Piece by Piece Hallelujah You’re Home Lucky Ones To Carry Love (I Can Show You How To) Slow Dance I Will Answer All Your Wishes You’ve Got This Spell On Me Look How Far We’ve Come My Baby Baby, Honey It’s Coming Home You’re My Only Hope Right Here Waiting Remedy I Knew You Were Waiting For Me With The Strength To Carry On Baby We Could Be Enough Lost Without You We’ve Already Won Feels Like Christmas  Let Me Be Your Star Made From Love Fairytale of New York You Were Made To Be Mine (wip)

4. Fandoms I wrote for:

One Direction 5. Pairings:

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson 6. Story with the most

Kudos: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 2,125 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) -  1,177 Bookmarks:  You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 532 / Lucky Ones (complete) - 403 Comments: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 3,111 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) - 1,212

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

There’s two. You Were Made To Be Mine because I love it, and I think I’ve really created a world for these two characters, and Jacob is just one of my favourite characters I’ve ever written. Also Let Me Be Your Star. This was written on a whim after something on Twitter, and it’s just been so well received. I was proud of how accurately I wrote Louis, even before we saw on him on X Factor, and I’m just really proud of how it all went.

Oh and I have to mention my first long fic A Lot of Fight Left In Me. My heart and soul went into that story, and I love it so much. And Piece by Piece, this fic will always be so special to me.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I don’t want to say. I do have one, and in a way, I am tempted to orphan it. But hey.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

This was hard. I’m going for this from YWMTBM chapter 56. “Lou….” Harry shuffled their bodies until his own legs were out in front of him, Louis’ body against his, silence broken by only Louis’ sobs, and Harry’s breaths. “Louis… you know it’s okay to not be okay, right? It’s not a weakness, sweetheart… you’re just, you’re just human.. Don’t ever be ashamed of hurting because I want to be the one you turn to… not the one you run away from, yeah? I want to share your burdens, wipe away your tears… hold you when you cry. Because I love you, Louis… so much, you have no idea how much.”

“Harry, I-”

“No, it’s my turn. Listen to me, please?” Louis nodded, more tears falling as Harry started to speak. He didn’t know if there was anything Harry could say to change his mind about this. No pretty words to fix it.

“You need to trust that I’m not going to run away when things get a little bit tough. Because I’m not, not now, not ever. You’ve been pushing me away, Louis, so fucking hard, and it hurt so bad because you wouldn’t let me in when all I wanted to do was help. I just want to be there for you-”

“But you nearly weren’t-” Louis whispered, the words falling from his lips. “You nearly left me, Harry… I… you nearly died, and you nearly left me. I had to listen to a doctor tell me that they didn't know if you were ever gonna wake up. I was nearly alone again, like before. I’ve never been so scared, Harry. I can’t bear the thought of you being taken away from me. I don’t want you to leave. It’s been easier to push you away, knowing that you would leave by your own free will, than losing you any other way.”

“I didn't want to leave… you have to know I never would have wanted that, Lou...” Harry was crying again now, reliving those awful memories, things he’d pushed deep down long ago, realising with horror that Louis had never moved on, had never really talked about how he felt when Harry had had his accident… how he’d nearly lost his husband. “But I’m here now, yeah? I don’t want to leave you, Louis. I want to grow old with you, and hold your hand every single day. I want to wake up to your beautiful blue eyes, and I want to share your pain, and your hurt. I want you to trust me, to let me do that for you.”

“You were there for me when I had my accident. You were my rock. You kept me going when I wanted to give up. When the physio was too much, I just wanted to give in, but you made me strong, Louis. You encouraged me… you believed in me. But now it’s my turn. It’s my turn to support you, to believe in you, like I promised when I married you. Please let me be there for you-” Harry’s voice cracked on the last word, meeting Louis’ eyes.

All Louis could see was honesty and love. There was a sincerity in Harry’s words that he just believed, and finally, he reached down, watching as his smaller hand sat on Harry’s, their fingers mingling gently, cautiously, as if they were afraid to touch. Louis bent his fingers, letting Harry clasp his hand in return. What seemed like such a small step seemed enormous to Louis, but he knew Harry was the only person he would ever want to be vulnerable with.

Despite everything… despite how hard Louis had tried to push him away, Harry wasn’t going anywhere. Harry loved him, and he loved Harry, more than he could ever say. He looked back into the eyes of his husband, the one who loved him in spite of his faults, who loved him because of them. Harry didn't see a broken man who he needed to fix. He just saw his Louis. Louis’ bottom lip wobbled as he stared deep into Harry’s eyes, as if he were looking into his soul, seeing the other half of himself.

12. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Some of the comments I get make me want to cry, honestly. I’m not sure people know how much leaving a comment on AO3 means to authors. I’d be hard pressed to find just one, but anything where people can relate to my writing in their real life is always very touching. Here’s one that moved me deeply recently from my christmas fic Feels Like Christmas:

“Im not gonna lie, I had to take breaks reading this because it was SO SAD in parts, in between being so beautiful.Harry was just like an angel of Christmas in this and your Louis seemed, to me, to be VERY realistic. I can't imagine how losing Jay has affected him in general but especially on his birthday and at Christmas. She was such a beautiful mum and it still breaks my heart to read of her. The cemetery scene was perfection but heart-breakingly sad.I loved Harry delivering treats to the "neighbour" who turned out to be Louis. I wish I had a Harry :)Your writing was so sensory - which is something considering I'm Australian and rarely seen snow lol But the smells, sights etc of Christmas were just amazing.Terrific job, loved it :)“

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I went through a period of getting negative comments on YWMTBM and that was very hard to push through and tell the story I wanted to tell. But I did, and I am proud I did, because I write for me and that’s the most important thing. I have a story to finish, and I’m determined to. I also found the scenes in the middle of YWMTBM very hard and emotional, and I got caught up in Louis’ mindset for a while, which was very tough.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I wrote a section of YWMTBM where Louis was struggling a lot with his mental health, and I surprised myself by delving into a subject like that. It was quite different for me, but I hope I did it justice, and that people could understand Louis’ actions. Also I wrote an mpreg birth scene which I never expected to do lol.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I feel my writing as a whole got better, I got more confident, and I was more able to craft stories.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

To not take on so much lol, although I love writing so much.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I’ve worked so much with @thecompasspointstohome​, one of my closest friends and she’s so much of an inspiration to me, no matter how much she ignores that I tell her that. She’s amazing, and my work would be a mess without her. I am forever grateful to have her.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes, a bit of a sad one. A child in my class in battling leukaemia at the moment, and he was the inspiration behind Mia and her story in A Lot Of Fight Left In Me. He still has his down days, but he’s an amazingly strong child and I hope he has the ending that Mia, Olly, Louis and Harry have in that story. 

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for you. That’s the most important thing I’ve found.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

My BDSM fic, and my Harry Potter exchange fic. I also have my fic for the Fanworks for Charity to write, as well as updating YWMTBM. I also have a few other stories in the works so wait and see :) Oh, and my tearjerker fic which I’ve been teasing forever on Twitter, oops...

21. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

Anyone who wants to do it, please do so!

[taecheeks]

Annual Writing Self Evaluation 2018

I wasn’t tagged in this but I wanted to do it so here we go

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2018

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 10

2. Word count posted for the year: 774,856 lakdjflkjfladklf

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting): (my wips are in order of when I last updated, not when I first posted)

Through Time I Found You (I feel like I posted this 9837473 years ago, I can’t believe it’s been less than a year since i posted my last ziam fic)

Enticing

play with me

Greedy

Wandering

media naranja

Kinktober ‘18

Maybe

Home For Christmas

Nodus Tollens

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction/Zayn, BTS

5. Pairings: Liam Payne/Zayn Malik, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi/Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin, and Kinktober has multiple pairings.

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: Nodus Tollens and then media naranja (this one was the fastest to get kudos, so I’m adding it)

Bookmarks: the same ^^

Comments: Nodus Tollens and then Through Time I Found You

7. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Nodus Tollens because it’s a lot different than what I’m used to writing and it was very difficult plot wise and characterization wise, but I’m happy with the way it turned out. There’s things that need to be fixed because I kind of just wrote and let the plot develop itself, and I was sure people wouldn’t like the plot twists. I also love my characters, I’m so attached to them. It’s also my longest fic and I don’t feel as if it’s dragging on, so I’m happy about that.

Also, media naranja. I wrote this fic as a break from the angst in nodus tollens and I was attempting to write a crack fic, and just a stupid/dirty overall fic and I actually got really great feedback for it. It made me really happy write it and really happy to see it do well. 

I didn’t think Through Time I Found You was last year but since it was, I’m going to mention that one too. That was SO hard for me to write because of the dialogue and because it took place in the 18th century. But my writing really improved because of that fic (and my amazing beta for that fic). 

8. Work I’m least proud of (and why): None really. I post a lot of pwps that probably could be better, but there’s none I would say I’m not proud of. 

9. A favorite excerpt of your writing: ugh this is hard did you see the WC from this year kldjalkfjda. Here’s something from NT I was really excited to share:

“The new living room is a little off putting. Taehyung’s definition of homey means a little messy - his tattered couch a big eye sore in the middle of the room but after a few nights cuddling with Taehyung on it, he’s starting to fall in love with it.

Taehyung’s a little messy too, their relationship or whatever it can be called a little messy, but Jeongguk’s past the point of falling in love with it.”

And then here’s one from Wandering bc that fic is my baby and sope are platonic soulmate brothers and I need them to be happy and finish the story okay:

Admittedly, Yoongi has never understood the phrase “seeing red” when angered.

He understands now.

It is a volcano inside of him, moments away from erupting and destroying everything around him. The only thing keeping him from yelling at the group of people in the waiting room, who never fucking called him, and the doctors who waste his time, is Hoseok.

The shallow breathing doesn’t calm his anger, but it keeps the tremble in his limbs at bay. The flinch of Hoseok’s fingers against his own makes it difficult not to squeeze on tight in a hope of waking him up.

It is too difficult to look at him bandaged up, his face so swollen and bruised he is almost unrecognizable. So Yoongi rests his cheek on their clasped hands where he sits beside him and stares at the monitor instead. He’s thankful they took the breathing tube from him, it made it too difficult to look at him.

“Never thought I’d wake up next to that face.”

Yoongi rubs his sleep ridden eyes against the soft sheets. There is a slight quirk to Hoseok’s lips as he makes an attempt at squeezing Yoongi’s hand.

“Savor the moment, it won’t happen again,” Yoongi mumbles as he sits up. It is still difficult to look at him, but Hoseok doesn’t look his way either so he can divert his eyes for the time being. “Special circumstances.”

Hoseok attempts to laugh, but he ends up groaning instead. “Don’t make me laugh. I feel like a bucket of shit.”

“You look it,” says Yoongi, but the joke doesn’t feel genuine. He knows he should call the doctor, but there is a flicker of fear in his chest at the idea of leaving his side.

“What’s the damage?”

The doctors had told him the moment he stepped inside of the room, but Yoongi couldn’t focus on anything but the sight before him and the rage he felt at whoever did this.

“They broke your face. A um - in your stomach. Stitches, lots of stitches.”

A tightness takes over his throat and he swallows it down as he finally moves to the door to call the nurse. He can’t say it. Stabbed .

“I don’t remember much. It was dark. Nari, is she okay?”

Yoongi’s heart drops into his stomach as he sits by the bed again. “Your parents are out of state. But mine are here if you need them.”

This seems like a better thing to tell Hoseok, but it makes his chest ache.

Assholes, they always have been.

“I told them I was your brother so they would get off my ass.”

Hoseok snorts. “Idiots. You’re too ugly to be my brother.”

10. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Ah, I received so many great reviews this year. I am quite lucky.  I think my favorite recently was the latest on Nodus Tollens, which says: “ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK” x 3934 lmao

11. A time when writing was really, really hard: This year has been pretty good for writing. The last couple years, I’ve been struggling. But this year, not so much. There were times where the plot was a bit heavy and difficult and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to where I wanted, or I realized I messed up a timeline and I had to work around that, but overall, pretty good. 

12. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Um Sope in Wandering. Like, it was supposed to focus on the romantic ships in that fic but it focuses on the platonic ones more. And sope a lot. I really, really enjoy their relationship in that fic.

Also, Bobby in Nodus Tollens. He’s a minor character in the fic, but I also get a lot of feedback about it. He’s a, bad guy but with a tortured past so you feel for him and realize he’s not really a bad guy. That trope, I’m protective of him and I’m sad when I write his scenes.

13. How did you grow as a writer this year: Specifically? Not sure. I got better at commas lmao. I’ve tested myself and wrote things I hadn’t before. I went from really dark to comical stories, I wrote different kinks. I wrote characters as bad when they aren’t in real life, which I normally don’t like doing. I’m not usually a big fan of writing characters OOC, but I’ve gotten more comfortable if it’s appropriate for the story I’m writing. I put a lot of my own self into stories, I wrote about something very traumatic that happened to me in one - something that I haven’t even talked about really. 

14. How do you hope to grow next year: I can be a bit repetitive within my writing, I am working on this and I hope I improve. (Like for example, in the fic I’m about to post in a few days, I wrote JK saying he’s suffering and dying like 343 times lmao.) I also really suck at outlining and planning out fics in advance, which hasn’t been a huge issue but it’s offered me some roadblocks that I need to focus on bettering.

15. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): Oh man, well I’ve read some really amazing fics and the writing was so beautiful that it offered me a lot of motivation. @strawberrysuga is always a huge support for me and my writing, even though ambra offers me like 9897 au ideas when I’m trying to focus on the 8979 ones I’ve already written. There’s a lot of people on twitter who come to me between updates and though I write for myself, seeing their feedback and their love and encouragement has been such a good influence on me. 

16. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Oh yeah, every one of my fics has part of me in it whether it’s a character based on someone I know, or an event in my life. Wandering has a lot of it; the police scene, Taehyung hating cheese (me), it takes place in NE where I grew up. One of my fics has a scene based on me and my girlfriend. Umm so yeah a lot lol

17. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: So, this year was a good year for me and I was nervous because I was in a new fandom. As much as I’ve done well, I’ve never really gotten negative comments on my fics before until this year. And none of them were about my writing or my storyline, but unnecessary/rude comments. Like someone didn’t like how often a side ship showed up. Things like that. They bothered me, not necessarily because I took it personal, but because I can’t believe people can be so rude and think it’s okay to be that way lol. I think this will always continue to happen, I think it’s best to ignore these comments and try to focus on the good ones. Because the bad ones stand out, but there were very few compared to the good ones - but the bad always stands out more than the good. And it’s important not to focus on the bad. 

18. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m actually writing a fic right now I’m very excited to post. It was supposed to be a ‘I’ve never kissed anyone, please teach me’ type fic, but it’s not quite that anymore haha. There’s a lot of frog references because Jungkook’s an animal biology major who loves amphibians lakjldfkjda 

19. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: since I stole this, you can steal this from me and say I tagged you mwah

[andagii-writes]

“A Drop Echoes” Postmortem

Or as I like to think of it, a grand old vomitfest that I've been writing in between chapters so I can keep myself oriented on the fic. And I waited until I finished uploading A Drop Echoes in the Hollow to post it here.

Speaking of which, did you guys enjoy it? While I see all the comments and kudos and bookmarks on AO3, as well as reviews, favorites, and follows on fanfiction.net, I just want to ask. It's literally been nearly 6 years since I posted ANY fanfic online, and having had a not-so-good experience with online socializing or collaboration before, I'd been fairly apprehensive to start posting again.

Shout-out to both Ginger and Draco @gingerdrakewrites and their fics for giving me the courage to move on from those bad memories, and spurring me to start writing and posting again.

I’m here to share some thoughts with y'all about this here fic, 'kay? It's gonna be a long one so pull up a chair, warm up a tea or coffee or cocoa or whatever, drape yourself in a blanket, and relax.

Regarding Kutone

Writing professors told us all the time, that the first full-length project we finish will almost always be some kind of autobiography.

While I haven't had the same tribulations as Kutone, yeah, she is my autobiography.

Mixed race, Afro-Asian. Fairly successful in academia and supposedly has the potential to do more, but she throws it away to pursue something for her own sake. Overcomes self-inflicted isolation and learns to trust and love people again. (Admittedly, I'm nowhere close to doing that last bit.)

After that, she's the ideal I want to be.

Successful. Cool. Sexy. Independent. A little bit taller. A bit of a baller. Badass. Experienced. Confident. I count all these things she has that I don't, and I shrivel up inside.

So here's Kutone, the woman I wish I could be, and I, as the writer, pushed her off her pedestal and shattered her. It felt nice. That there's character development, supposedly.

Writing professors and college-level workshop mates also told me "don't use exotic names for your characters."

To that I say fuck all y'all.

Regarding Sebastian

AKA, the major reason why I decided to purchase Stardew Valley in the first place. Funny story, this one. I was scrolling through the screenshots on the Stardew Valley Steam page, and I think there was a screenshot that happened to show Sebastian's sprite. "Oh okay," I think, "he's kinda cute."

My sister charges in, takes one look at the screenshot, and says, "Man I was about to say he's cute, but god that nose..."

And as we cackled at Sebastian’s expense, I bought the game and started playing it. Made Kutone my avatar (meaning she seriously had no significance until I developed a certain businessman...) and started futzing around in Stardew Valley. With Harvest Moon and Animal Crossing under my belt, I got it pretty quickly.

Met Sebastian and had to put my head down for a few minutes.

‘This man is a reflection of me,’ I thought. I know a lot of other players feel the same way, like the dev had unknowingly taken a piece of my psyche, molded it into pixels and coding, and then, huh, here's a relatable character named Sebastian. That being said, I wanted to write him in a way that avoided the usual tags and labels people tend to slap him under: "emo," "goth," "depressed," "anxious," "gloomy," and basically every other iteration of those words that I felt made him so... meh, you know?

I settled on a new label for him, a label intrinsic to A Drop Echoes: "pathologically introverted."

The guy's actually really expressive, you know. It's just that, due to not being able to wholly trust anyone, he doesn't readily show those expressions. Which would explain why he's such close friends with Sam, and it also gives him a whole other layer of characterization to work with. Minimal, yet loaded. I guess that's where the popular "emo" tag comes from, but I'm still not a fan of the nuances of that label. Yes, he's emotional, and he tries, I think, to not show it, but in the face of sheer logos (like Demetrius), Sebastian knows he doesn't stand a chance. He's hyper aware of the fact he's emotional, but can't compromise that with his more logical side. So he shuts it away.

He needs a safe place to open up. Sam is that safe place. Abigail is that safe place. To a lesser extent, Robin is that safe place. And in writing A Drop Echoes, I wanted him to find another safe place--a permanent safe place--in Kutone. Someone who's a lot closer to him in personality, and someone who seriously puts her faith in him as a safe place. More than anything else in his life, that reciprocation is the magic he needs to "come alive" again. After that is a matter of, will he take it and run and see how far he can go? He knows he has potential. And he has his plan: take his bike out and never look back. Head out to the city and live his ideal life there. Does he fulfill it?

The original game didn't let him.

I like to think Kutone did.

Regarding Rhei

Origin? I had a crush on someone a lot like him--though mine was more angelic in comparison to devilish Rhei--at the same time I remembered a rule in a handbook about no dating in the same workplace. Yeah...

Anyway, based on what I eyeballed from the comments, about 96% of you hated Rhei. How do you feel about him now? Tell me things!

At the time I wrote the chapter starring him, I made this post, which was basically me fangirling over my own character.

Bet you didn't click it. That's okay. TL;DR, Rhei very nearly destroyed the rest of this fic, because Kutone was thiiiiiiis close to getting back together with him. Maybe in some AU version of the fic, they did, and that would be an interesting story on its own. She would have totally broken Sebastian's heart. Totally. That would have been some fun angst to write, but dealing with love triangles and their fallouts--even thinking about that concept makes me shrivel up inside.

I actually have an entire standalone document detailing Rhei and Kutone's relationship! How it started, how Jaci got involved, how successful Rhei and Kutone were, how deeply in love they were. They were too perfect for each other, so they burned up like blazing sawdust. This piece is their theme song. (Also I'm in love with biosphere mkay spare me.)

Regarding Changes

Grading myself here, I think I'm at a B-?

I did good on this fic. Still a good chunk of room for improvement, but despite the fact I want nothing more than to get it out of my face, I like what I've done. Like damn. I wrote a book and I kinda like it.

Things I'd change:

1. Wordiness - I do get too purple in some places, but I also would not sacrifice my prose poetry in certain parts either. 2. Risks - I thought about a lot of these. For instance, Kutone should have slept with Alex, and Seb should have caught them. Again, like Rhei barging in, this would have changed the entire arc of the fic, and I believe that once you cheat, there's no going back to what you were before. Doubt's always going to be a source of conflict in the relationship, and I refuse to believe people like Sebastian or Kutone would ever trust each other again if an affair was on the table. So I shriveled away from that risk too. Sometimes, I gotta let my imagination go there, and see where each rabbit hole takes me, y'know? 3. Omit BS - I'd either cut or fuse a lot of the early chapters. Also, much as I love Alex, a couple of his chapters were really unnecessary. 4. Character arc/Story arc - Is it even there? It needs more! What is even a climax? That was always the one point in the "mapping plot arcs" lessons that I could NEVER understand! More studying necessary.

Any other thoughts? Anything you guys want to ask me about A Drop Echoes before I fully focus on Sunset Stars? Ask me anything, send me your thoughts, theories, conspiracies, cries of mercy, comments or questions to my characters, anything at all, to my lonely inbox.

Also, lastly, but not least, I want to use this moment to thank you all again. For real. Thank you for your love and support, and thank you especially for cheering Kutone on to the end. 

With that...

[theorchardofbones]

A Year in Review — Writing Meme 2017

First off, thanks for the tags, @emeraldwaves and @ghostoftheyear (the latter who tagged me on @harshmallowffxv but I figured I’d do this over here since there’s some FO4 stuff too)

1. Your 3 fanfics with the most comments in 2017: 1. Moogle Match (73) (FFXV, trans!Prompto, Promptio) 2. To Sleep Under the Same Night Sky (65) (FFXV, Promptis) 3. Pull on Your Pout (64) (FFXV, Gladnis) 2. Your 3 fanfics with the most kudos in 2017: 1. Moogle Match (291) (FFXV) 2. To Sleep Under the Same Night Sky (274) (FFXV) 3. Desidero (183) (FFXV, trans!Prompto, Promptis) 3. Your 3 fanfics with the most Bookmarks in 2017: 1. To Sleep Under the Same Night Sky (68) (FFXV) 2. Moogle Match (64) (FFXV) 3. Desidero (45) (FFXV) 4. Your first fanfic in 2017 I deleted my original AO3 so I’m not 100% sure (I reuploaded a couple fics that had been on my old one when I recreated). The earliest new piece I posted to my current AO3 was Revenir, which I wrote in May for the Reverse Fallout Big Bang.

5. Your last fanfic in 2017 Pull on Your Pout was updated most recently, but the last distinct work to be published was Gardenia Hall. The last fic that I finished this year was My Body In Your Keeping (it only took me three months to post that second part, geez).

6. Favorite Opening line from a fic in 2017 ’It’s like an itch. It’s the way his skin prickles whenever Noct is close, the way the sound of the prince’s voice goes right through him. It’s an itch, and he can’t scratch it; can’t do much more than live in his own little fantasies, playing them over and over again, inventing a reality where Noct could ever, would ever—’

– Desidero 7. Favorite ending line from a fic in 2017 ‘“I think it’s gonna be good,” Noct says, pushing a hand through his hair. “This year, I mean. You finally get to be yourself, I’ve got my own place. School’s still shit, but maybe it won’t all suck.” Prompto glances at his friend at the corner of his vision, then moves a little closer and slings an arm around his shoulders. They’ve both neglected to grow much of late, unlike so many of their classmates who shot up over the summer. Prompto’s glad for it — he likes the prince being around his height, if only to borrow from his stylish yet mostly untouched wardrobe. “Y’know what?” he says, leaning close. “I think maybe you’re right.”

– Like the Rain to the Sea (FFXV, trans!Prompto)

8. Your favorite character to write for in 2017 I mean I kind of have to say Prompto since I’ve written his POV for the bulk of my writing career this year, but I’m enjoying writing Gladio a lot more than I ever thought I would, if only to try to give him a softer edge.

9. Your favorite pairing to write for in 2017 It’s always gonna be Promptio. Of all my OTPs they’re the OTP. Honourable mentions for Promptis, which kind of took me by surprise in going from ‘meh’ to ‘ride or die’ over the course of a few months, and Gladnis, which has become a recent favourite.

10. Your proudest fic from 2017: Toss-up between Moogle Match and Like the Rain to the Sea. I came into the FFXV fandom a little terrified to sling my trans!Prompto headcanons at people, only to find that the reception was so supportive and positive. The comments I’ve received on these two fics alone, from trans people or from people whose loved ones are trans, letting me know that my stories have touched them in ways I never even imagined, made writing finally seem worthwhile.

11. Your Longest Fanfic in 2017: In the Shadow of the Bull (69,782; 41 chapters) was my longest, but as I wrote it for Fallout and it was a partial re-upload from last year, I don’t really count it. Moogle Match (39,476; 15 chapters) is second, and was finished much, much more quickly.

12. Any goals for 2018? Read more. Finish at least three fics. Take a step out of my comfort zone and write for some pairings I’m less confident with.

13. Tag some people No pressure, but if y’all haven’t done it already: @metamorphim @kickerwrites @gaeadene @ne0ldian @achroniclerofsilence @bugsieplusone

[timesorceror]

Year of Review - Writing 2017

Decided to do this thing again, cause last year’s was pretty fun. Alright, let’s go for a ride ladies and germs!

Total number of completed stories:

Fifteen…? Many of them are oneshots or collections of fics written for month/week challenges, but who cares.

Total word count:

*whistles* Wow. 264,023 words. Last year I only had, like, 72,483, though to be fair I didn’t start writing consistently until around June. Still though, that’s a nice chunk of word change right there. 

This also includes the 12k+ word alternate ending to A Promise Kept, and my currently unfinished fic, A Beautiful Experiment.

Fandoms written in:

Dragon Age. It’s still my only fandom headspace, though I repeat I’d love to do a DA crossover with Zelda someday.

Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?:

Uh… I definitely didn’t expect to write as much as I did, no. Like I expected to write some, but not quite that many words.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?:

Hmm. Excluding my collections for #Januanderstakeback, Anders Week, and Fenhanders Week… I think I gotta give this one to Once Bitten, Twice Bonded. It’s the first chaptered fic I’d done since my fic writing dry spell of about 3 years or so, and man I don’t think I’ve ever agonized so much over a fic before, like ever. I mean, I googled how snake sex worked just to write the darn thing.

…I’m also really impressed with how a lot of people in the Fenders Discord really like it, actually. I think someone even called it a masterpiece or something. Like, wow. I’m actually kind of jazzed about that.

Did you take any writing risks this year?:

The #Januanderstakeback prompts were super hard to keep up with, considering as I was just starting my final semester in college around that time, but I’m actually kind of proud how I was able to keep up with them. Seeing them all in the collection on AO3 is pretty neat, tbh.

Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?:

I always want to finish my Inquisitor’s journal entries, though not as much as before. Other than that, I want to spread the DA Weird Shit chat’s wonderfulness with the world. There can never be too much kink, really. Not where Fenders is concerned. 

Some of the projects on my current spreadsheet are of course that Fenders Nutcracker AU, the Darkest Dungeon AU that @drawsshits and I came up with, more A/B/O stuff, some sequels to My Watchword is “Tranquil” and Keep You Safe. Also I’m gonna finish A Beautiful Experiment, for sure.

Best story of the year?:

It’s not, like, an actual fic, but The Rule I Will Most Cherish Breaking is my favorite collection of stories. But if we’re going with like a straight fic here, Once Bitten, Twice Bonded probably has that spot, hands down. 

Most popular story of the year?:

Looking at AO3, Change for the Better has the most hits, but What’s Lost and Found has nearly twice as many kudos while holding the #1 spot in that category. It’s also been the fic most bookmarked by other people. Once Bitten, Twice Bonded has the most comment threads and currently the highest word count, though A Beautiful Experiment has the most subscriptions.

Overall, however, Once Bitten, Twice Bonded holds at least a top three spot in all categories, also sitting at the #2 spot on most hits and bookmarks, as well as #3 in kudos and subscriptions. 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

It’s a toss-up between The Absolutely True Story of a Possessed Grey Warden Corpse, or A Precious Gift. Both feature my canon Warden Amell and custom Hawke, so I’m super biased about it, though this category is about my personal opinions anyway after all. :P

Most fun story to write:

There’s two fics in my Fenhanders Week 2017 collection that I had a lot of fun with. One of them was about a Fenkhanders OT4, while the other was about a three way soulmate AU where I got to write about Anders getting loved on and DP’d by his soulmates. (Don’t kinkshame me now, lol. Kinkshaming is unjust.)

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I think Once Bitten, Twice Bonded has this category beat. I mean, interspecies sex plus egg laying and double peneration with a side of accidental bonding makes for a lot of sexy moments.

Most sweet story:

Happy Accidents and A Precious Gift definitely hold spots in the running for this one, but the one that I actually cried several times during the writing of it was A Promise Kept. Something about it was just super emotional, especially after listening to Peter Hollens’ ‘Ashland’s Song’. Seriously, read the ending while listening to it and tell me if that doesn’t just make you want to cry.

“Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

Despite being one of my most popular stories this year, I’m probably gonna give this one to Once Bitten, Twice Bonded as well? XD

Just because some people might not be into it once they actually google what snake “penises” look like, lol. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

Probably Reclaiming Freedom (Through Sex and Other Things). It’s an odd one for sure, but writing selfcest tends to make you really think about how a character would react if their past self just suddenly exists in the world and absolutely wants to bone down with their future self and their lover.

Most unintentionally telling story:

I dunno. Guys, you’ve read my stuff, you tell me.

Hardest story to write:

I got stuck on A Promise Kept a lot, though that one was just really long. 

The Absolutely True Story of a Possessed Grey Warden Corpse was difficult too because I wasn’t sure how my Warden would interact with all of the Kirkwall crew (especially Fenris), and Once Bitten, Twice Bonded was SO HARD since not only was I not used to writing Awakening Anders, but I had to write an Awakening Anders who was falling in love with a Fenris who never went to Kirkwall. Sing for Me got me a couple times due to its sheer ridiculousness.

I also had trouble really hurting Anders too much in What’s Lost and Found even though the prompt called for it, and the logistics of mermaid on octopus bits made me pause for the longest time during A Compatible Mate.

Biggest disappointment:

The journal entries are still not done, but that’s, eh. Not as important anymore. Most of my current disappointments have nothing to do with my fics.

Biggest surprise:

Just, like… all of your support and kudos and comments. I’ve really been going out on a limb to test so many wonderful, smutty kinks and you all just keep indulging me. Thanks guys. :D I hope to bring more kinks to the fandom in the coming year.

Alright, tagging time! I set this upon: @pikestaff, @contreparry, @tearsofwinter, @rhube, @greensphynx, @thejourneymaninn, @damnedapostate, @therealmnemo, @dovabunny, and @protect-him.

Go and do the thing! :D