#thank u shawn fr

[samijey]

#looks like toxic yuri is back on the menu boys!!!

[kevinsdsy]

the trojans social media au – the archives (pt. 8): the archives are for long ass text conversations that i would exclude from the socmed au if it wasn’t for the fact i decided to do archives too 🙂‍↕️ ((this is kinda a lie bc next part of the socmed au has long text messages inspired by an anon inbox oops)) ALSO THE SHAWN TWEETS ARE ALL INSPIRED AN INBOX @minyard-05 SENT ME SO THANK YOU <3333 i love u fr

[hwajin]

hi kathy! I'm here for the music asks 💌

I would like to know 4, 11, 15, 21, 29, 30 ♡⸝⸝

hi babe!! i'm sorry this took so long to answer i thought about every question METICULOUSLY this was so important to me 😭😭😭

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents

Più che puoi — Eros Ramazzotti, Cher; i remember listening to that song all the time when i was little, my mom used to love it SOO much, it evokes such nostalgia 😭😭

Careless Whisper — George Michael; mom's obsessed with that song and i can't blame her tbh

Группа крови — Kino; a very old system-critisizing russian song my dad loves to this day LMAO, his and my music taste are vastly different so that's the only song we actually both like and listen to jfjejd

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

Mystery of Love — Sufjan Stevens

Step Up — Samantha Jade; fav movie fav soundtrack 😍

so unserious but the riff-off in pitch perfect 1, yes i'm counting that as a song idc i love it 😭

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to

U Must Be — Gina Rene; step up again but i love this song SOOO much and the scene in the movie is my fav ever if i ever danced with the loml (hyunjin) to this i would die

Falling In Love — Cigarettes after Sex

Angel Baby — Troye Sivan

21. three songs of your childhood

these are gonna be so so SO random 😭😭

Vom selben Stern — Ich + Ich

Salut — Joe Dassin

Danza Kuduro — Dom Omar, Lucenzo 😭😭😭

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)

Life of the Party — Shawn Mendes; so cheesy but that song turned my life upside down for me omg, made me view music differently and firstly made me a fangirl 🤞

Amnesia — 5 Seconds of Summer; can't explain how often i cried to this song and how fucking insane it was to see it live, changed my entire life fr

God's Menu — Stray Kids; got me into kpop/ skz and my life has never been the same ever since 🗣🗣🗣 i have that song to thank for bringing me hyunjin, forever grateful 🙏🙏🙏

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

Blind — PRETTYMUCH

urs — NIKI

Heaven Angel — THE DRIVER ERA

[rosiehrs]

ok pre lezgaur 👊

you are in love - taylor swift

moonlight - ariana grande

sparks - coldplay

imperfect love - seventeen (though, the actual korean trans is "im happy because it's u everyday") RAHHHHSHSH

mananatili - cup of joe (amoy magcconfess pagkatapos ng concert or fireworks date)

fallin all in you - shawn mendez

walang kapantay - the knobs

just because - mrld (THEEE yunyn song fr fr)

HOY LABYU PRE THANK U, I WILL ADD TO QUEUE

[jay-wasreblogging]

Okay i have time to write what I wanted now!!

This is so cute so so so freaking cute!! Owen being dejected when Shawn didn't shake his hand like SHAWNNNN!? don't U dare! And yeah Diesel fainted after the phone call broke cause tf you mean you're gonna be late, in a weird ass town and now your phone is dead!? And Bret was definitely checking out Shawn - like 'damn what's this slim thicc twink in the tight ahh shirt doingggg' 👀 and then bro locked in when he realised it was the family home LMFAO like 'AH! 😨 WHAT U DOING IN MY FAMILY LIVING ROOM?!' like bro calm down you was busy staring him down he had time to do smt like tf he travel in some designer Gucci to rob yo ass for?? 🤨

Shawn and Bret having that little time outside and Shawn not mentioning his job like he is doing some devious shit, ahhh love it. I also love the eluding to the drug use because like it's Shawn's perspective ofc he will not use the 'actual terms' because that makes it more real, more consequential 👀 so yeah we call it them things worse than cigs that gets you going.

Shawn = The fame, love and money > stalkers, weird ass coworkers/bosses, etc etc

^ he baby fr, thank goodness Diesel is there for him and now I'm pretty sure Bret.

OP your pacing is great really, love the whole thought out process for the story because COWBOY BRETTTT 😩🙏 AND CITYBOY SHAWNNNNNNN!??? YESSSS!

So fucking excited for how this story pans out.

Hartbreak Ranch Chapter 2

AN: Chapter 2 has finally arrived after a massive delay!! Not much romance going on so far for the two, BUT, it is getting there, I'm trying to not get too impatient, but gotta build it up... ;D If you'd like to be tagged in this series, please let me know as well! :)

TW: foul language, addiction mention as well as drugs mentioned (lightly)

Word count: 3.4k

<<< Prev

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“Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my home?”.

The voice rang out through the living room as Shawn stood still as a statue. It was an odd situation. Shawn was in the middle of the room, in the middle of nowhere, by himself. He didn’t exactly blend in either, he couldn’t have been an ‘neighbour’ just coming to borrow some sugar. By any sane person’s mind, they would have thought he was trying to rob them. Shawn knew he should have answered by now, but his mind was elsewhere… Mostly admiring the cowboy in front of him.

“Oh uhh.. I-.. Well..-” Shawn stuttered out before being interrupted by the man who now stood in the doorway, his warm chocolate eyes now holding a dangerous glare. 

“Spit it out, I don’t need a story. Name and what the hell are you doing in my home” the guy repeated with a slight hiss, aggression now starting to build up in his tone as he moved  towards Shawn. 

This was all that Shawn needed to reply back as quick as possible. He had dealt with plenty of fights before. But, that was with a bodyguard who knew about his bad temper and sharp tongue. Cowboys weren’t his forte to fight with either..

“Sorry! Right, I’m Shawn, I’m guessing your brother, Owen, brought me here!” Shawn blurted out quickly, not risking to anger the other.

Shawn was praying that Owen would return fast, especially as the man stared Shawn down. It was hard to figure out what he was thinking, especially as the guy stayed quiet. Was he gonna punch Shawn? Beat him up? Or perhaps Kiss him?... Probably not the last one. The blond really needed to stop watching those romance films at 2AM. 

The doubtful look Shawn was given was surely about to seal his fate. His money winner face (literally) was about to get decked by an attractive, muscular guy and thrown out into the middle of nowhere again. Shawn backed up slightly, trying to give himself a bit of space in case things turned, however, fate was clearly on his side for once as he heard Owen’s chirpy voice from behind.

“Bret! Didn’t know you’d be here yet,” Owen laughed out as he walked over with a grin, oblivious to the growing tension in the room, “Shawn here is just stayin’ with us for a few days, I felt awful leaving him in town… His car had broken down and you know how far the closest motel is”.

Bret, which Shawn just learnt the man-who-was-gonna-beat-his-ass name was, stared at Shawn one last time before those same dangerous eyes softened as they looked at Owen. 

“You have too much of a soft heart, Owen… You know how I feel about bringing strangers home” Bret lightly scolded Owen, although Bret did receive an odd stare from his brother. One that clearly read that he didn’t actually know what the other was talking about at all.

“Don’t be such a grump, Ma and Pa don’t mind people being here.. Or well at least Ma doesn’t,” Owen chuckled out before looking at Shawn, “Oh! Sorry Shawn, this is my brother, Bret, don’t mind him, he can be quite the grouch after a long day”.

Once again, Bret and Shawn stared at each other, the tension building once again. 

“Nice to meet ya, Bret” Shawn hummed out trying to break the ice, however, his attempt was pushed away as Bret walked towards the kitchen instead, mumbling under his breath something about ‘lemonade’. Owen gave Shawn a small pitiful smile,

“Like I said, don’t mind him, I don’t know what’s up with him…”, Owen glanced over his shoulder to look in the direction Bret went before huffing and turning back to the blond, “Anyways.. Let me take you to the guests room!”.

Heading upstairs with suitcase in hand, Shawn followed after the cheerful man. The next floor of the house continued the rustic, homey feeling, having plenty of family photos dotted around, however this time, flowers in vases decorated the hallway on small, pine cabinets. Lavenders, some roses and a few other flowers that Shawn didn’t know were blooming from the elegant vases, filling the area with a soft, relaxing and refreshing aroma. There were five different doors, one on the left that was white with painted pink flowers and ‘Diana’ painted delicately across it, another next to it  was a pine door with painted on sunflowers, the third was a dark mahogany door with simple gold detailing. Across those doors were two other doors, one was a double door, clearly the master bedroom, and the furthest away was just a simple pine door. Owen guided Shawn past the doors until they reached the plain pine door. He opened the door with a soft smile, 

“This will be your room, if you need any blankets let me know… If you need me, my door is the one with the sunflowers”, Owen hummed slightly, trying to think if there was anything else he needed to tell the other. “I’ll knock on when supper is done” With one last smile, Owen left Shawn to get comfortable, heading to his own room.

The black boots Shawn wore clicked softly against the wooden floor as he entered the room that he’d call ‘home’ for the next few days. Compared to the rest of the house that the model had seen, this room felt rather… empty. There weren't any family photos, there weren't any carefully embroidered pillows or even any bright colours. Instead, the room had a simple double bed in the centre of the room, leaned against the right empty wall, the bedding was a cool white with a few fluffy pillows that looked like they were brand new and untouched. Two bedside tables laid beside the bed, both having a pull-cord lamp and one had a singular alarm clock that seemed to echo in the room. Next to the bed, there was another closed door which Shawn assumed was the bathroom. On the opposite side of the room, there were two panel doors, which once again, Shawn assumed was a wardrobe. A lounge chair sat in the corner of the room with a small table next to it, however there was nothing on it. No flowers, no leftover mug of coffee. This room truly felt abandoned, almost lonely compared to the rest of the house that Shawn saw. The only thing that was rather interesting to look at was the window which showed off the large farm from behind. He could see a few roaming animals around as well as an old barn by a few, large trees.

A soft huff left Shawn’s lips as he leaned his suitcase against the wall, admiring the view he had, “Just a few days… that’s all..” he quietly reminded himself.

Getting himself situated in the room didn’t take too long at all. Shawn had hung up his clothes which he deemed weren’t entirely appropriate to wear at a farm, his extra pair of shoes were lined up in the wardrobe, and he had made sure his cigs and bottle of vodka was hidden away in one of the bedside tables. He was gonna save them for when he met up with Ramon, Kid and Diesel, but desperate times called for desperate measures if he needed them. He even had some ‘extra’ measures hidden in his cig packs as well, something that relaxed him more than the cigs. But that was for extreme desperate times. Or fun times. Shawn’s shampoo and conditioner was lined up in the bathroom right next to his cherry and vanilla scented body wash, his hairbrush, toothbrush and toothpaste was also placed on the sink as well. It felt mostly like home now. Although, there was a small problem. Or well, two small problems. One was that there was no TV, did these people live like cavemen? And the second, his phone was getting pretty low and there was no plug socket.. He had double checked the whole room just to make sure! There was none behind the bedside tables, there was none behind the chair that could be hidden, there wasn’t even one in the bathroom! 

Staring at his phone screen, he weighed out his options. He could ignore his phone, save up the battery… But  having Diesel panic and get on his ass? Yeah, he needed to phone up his bodyguard. Shawn paced around the room as he held the phone to his ear, listening to the ringing before that familiar gruff voice appeared as Diesel picked up.

“Shawn? Everything alright? Are you at your hotel?” The questions instantly rang in from the protective man which made Shawn awkwardly chuckle.

“Yeaah… About that…”

“Shawn, please don’t tell me you’re lost”

The blond chewed on his bottom lip nervously, “Well… Not exactly lost… I mean, I don’t know where the fuck I am…” he started, “But don’t panic! I’m safe, I’m all good, just gonna be late for the photoshoot, y’know?”.

A deep sigh filled Shawn’s ear from the otherside of the phone, he could tell that Diesel was rubbing his temple.

“Telling me to not panic makes me panic more… and how late are you talking about?” the bodyguard questioned.

“Well, maybe a day or two… or more… I don’t know ‘kay?! My damn car broke down, but this guy is fixin’ it up” Shawn mumbled out before moving the phone away from his ear as he knew what was going to happen.

“YOUR CAR BROKE DOWN?! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE DROVE YOU HERE!” the voice bellowed down the phone as Shawn played with a strand of his silky hair. “Jesus fucking Christ Shawn, just-.. Are you at least somewhere safe?” Diesel asked with a loud huff.

Shawn moved the phone back to his ear before speaking, “Yeah, I’m safe, my phone is probably gonna die though, just gotta find somewhere to char-”

“AND YOUR PHONE IS ABOUT TO DIE?!”

A small hiss left Shawn’s lips as Diesel’s voice picked up again, ��Let me finish my sentence, asshole! Givin’ me a goddamn headache, I get your point!” Shawn tried to argue back but the model was greeted by silence. “Diesel?” He hummed out, “... Big Sexy??” Shawn continued, believing the other was being petty enough to give him the silent treatment, “Kevin???”. Finally, Shawn glanced at his phone being greeted by a dead screen, “FUCK!” he hissed out in anger, throwing the phone on the bed without a care. Just what he needed. His phone dead, Diesel being pissed off and probably thinking he was dead… Shit, he really needed a smoke.

Grabbing his pack of smokes and his trusty lighter, Shawn made his way out of the room and down the stairs before making his way outside. He had no idea if they let people smoke on their property, they probably didn’t, but he was desperate for a fix. Standing outside of the house, Shawn took out one of the cigs and placed it between his thin lips before flicking his lighter a few times to produce a small flame. He held it under the cig before he breathed in deeply, relishing in the feeling of the harsh smoke filling his lungs before blowing it out of his lungs. The familiar taste of menthol was one that was always calming, something he had always chosen as a young teen, they were the cheapest, but they were perfect in his eyes. Sure, he enjoyed a good cigar, it made him feel confident- almost unstoppable. But a Marlboro blue cigarette? Nothing could beat that feeling of a soft burn, it reached an itch that some would call an addiction, but Shawn called it self-soothing. Another puff of smoke left his lips as he glanced around the farm. The sun was already starting to set. It was rather beautiful to see, watching pinks and oranges blur together as the sun started to dip behind the horizon…

Shawn was thrown out of his thoughts at the sound of footsteps behind him and a low voice filling his ears again.

“If you’re gonna smoke, at least have an ashtray nearby” Bret mumbled out as he placed a ceramic ashtray on the edge of the patio fence, “...Everything alright? I heard yelling” Bret continued as he stood at the top of the patio stairs.

Shawn turned around, cig still gently dangling from his lips, his baby blues meeting the warm chocolate ones in a stare, “I didn’t expect you to have one… But yeah, I’m fine, just peachy..” he huffed out, his eyes going to the floor as he kicked at a bit of dirt on the ground. He took another drag from his cig before moving over near the patio to flick off the ash that lingered on the edge into the ashtray. 

“Mhm, sure, peachy,” Bret answered back, his warm eyes never leaving Shawn’s lean figure. Shawn’s baby blues glanced back up at Bret, fidgeting slightly. He wasn’t one to keep his mouth shut, especially when it came to drama. Even if it was about himself. Or perhaps it was the way Bret looked at him like he was an actual person? Shawn wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t help but let the truth flood out.

“... My phone has died, I don’t know how long I’ll be here for, Diesel is pissed off at me like it’s my fault…” Shawn spat out the truth, his eyes looking back at the ground as he took another puff of the cigarette in his hand. Smoke flooded out his mouth before he continued, “Like, sure, maybe I shouldn’t have taken a small ‘shortcut’... Or actually listened to him… But still, fuck, It’s not my fault” He huffed out. Bret raised a brow. He wasn’t sure which part he was more shocked at, maybe it was the fact that this ‘Diesel’ was pissed off at him, or perhaps it was the way Shawn deflected.

“But anyways, I’ll be out of your lovely hair, you clearly don’t like strangers,” A soft, sarcastic chuckle left Shawn as he pushed the cig against the ashtray, “Thanks for the ashtray and well, that little rant” he thanked quietly.

“It’s fine… And don’t feel like you need to leave fast, you just caught me in a bad time” Bret awkwardly apologised, rubbing the back of his neck, “If you need to phone someone, we’ve got a landline phone you can borrow” he offered with a small shrug. 

“Ha, thanks for the offer handsome, but I don’t exactly remember phone numbers, got too many to remember” Shawn chuckled out again, he wished he remembered Diesel’s phone number or even Hunter’s… he knew part of Marty’s number, but even if he remember his number, they hadn’t even spoken in years… 

Bret was surprised at the name ‘handsome’, it was very sudden but he shrugged it off quickly, “I can get Owen to take your phone and charge it as the repair shop, I know there isn’t any plugs in this house- Never has been, never will, that’s the old man’s orders, but the shop has one” He offered again, hoping to ease the mans tension as well as an apology for their first meeting.

“I-... I suppose that isn’t a bad idea at all… Thank’s Bret” Shawn smiled softly, “I’ll give you it tomorrow, or Owen, whoever I find first, but thank you” his blue eyes took one more look around the ranch before looking back at Bret, “I’ll see you inside, if I stay out any longer I’ll be tempted to have another cig” Shawn tried to joke, gently shaking the box of cigs he held, but it was the truth. He would have had another cig- Or probably the whole box and his ‘fun sticks’ as he liked to call them as well. He gave Bret another small smile before heading inside of the house, brushing past the bigger man.

Bret glanced over his shoulder, watching as the man made his way inside the house. Questions continued to wrap around his brain about Shawn. Who was Diesel? Why would he be upset with Shawn? Where was he even heading to make a shortcut through the middle of nowhere? Even Bret knew it was a silly mistake to make. His thick brows furrowed together as he huffed, his eyes glancing over towards the sunset. He stayed for another moment, watching as the sun ducked behind the horizon, the sky getting darker and the warm air grew colder. He took a deep breath in, the smell of Shawn’s cheap cigarettes still clinging to the air as one final question ran through his head. Sure he had met other strange characters, like his soon-to-be brother-in-law Davey Boy Smith, but Shawn was a lot more different than him. He didn’t fit in, he didn’t fit in the town nearby nor the farm life itself by the looks of his clothes and the way he held himself. His hair and clothes were too perfect for a man who was stressed about being stranded in the middle of nowhere, there wasn’t any out of place hair in sight or a crease in his clothes… Who the hell was Shawn?... Bret shook his head slightly, he was just simply overthinking about Shawn, that’s all.

Night had quickly arrived by the time Owen knocked on the guest door to announce that supper was done. The dinner table was on the biggerside, having about twelve chairs around the table and only a few of the chairs were being used. He met the patriarch of the Harts, Stu, and his Mrs, Helen. Much like Bret, Stu wasn’t as welcoming, but Helen was his saviour. She had welcomed him with open arms, Owen clearly took after his mother. He had met Diana who was sweet, she was the youngest daughter of the Harts. He had also learnt that the family was rather large, having twelve siblings all together, but most of the kids had moved out. The supper was something he needed, something relaxing, and soul soothing from how fresh and hearty the soup and bread he ate. He did notice Bret missing from the table, which must of been the usual as Owen’s voice perked up,

“Bret usually misses his supper, he’ll be checking on the animals making sure their water is good and they have food” He explained before taking a sip of water, “He’ll have it later”. That eased Shawn’s curiosity, leaving it without another question. 

After the meal, Shawn thanked them, especially for the welcomed hospitality before heading to the guest room. He changed out of his clothes, hanging them up before fully getting ready for bed. Shawn had a strict regime that he followed, he would wash his face before cleansing it, then he would moisturise as well. He had to keep his face looking young, obviously. He would then brush his hair before tying it up into a ponytail, he’d also have a whiskey over ice and even a cigar before brushing his teeth.

Usually after his little routine, he would stay up late in his penthouse, he’d sit on his large, comfy couch that was as soft as clouds and watch a few films before going to bed. On bad nights, he wouldn’t sleep. He’d instead sit outside on his balcony, watching the bright city of New York light up the dark sky, replacing the stars he couldn’t see. It was called the city that never sleeps for a reason. Yet, being in this home, he felt as if he wouldn’t have a bad night, that he could actually rest without an issue.

The guest bed wasn’t exactly as comfy as his bed at home, but he was used to other beds, especially when he travelled. It was the comfiest he had in awhile, he seemed to sink in like his own bed somewhat, and it didn’t feel like stone like a few five star hotel beds did. The room wasn’t fully pitch black either, which didn’t annoy him as much as he thought it would. The curtains that covered the window in the room were thin, letting in the natural light of the moon and stars outside fade in which tempted him to go and admire… but he’d leave that for a sleepless night. Even the sounds of crickets outside didn’t annoy him even if he enjoyed  silence when he slept. They chirped out a symphony that lulled Shawn to a somewhat peaceful sleep.

[enharcv]

so it goes | park jongseong

THE SWIFT PROJECT : VOL 2 [ PARK JONGSEONG ]

pairing  ‣  brother's best friend+ racer!jay x it girl + best friend's sister! fem reader ft enhypen's hyung line , wooyoung & san (ateez) , yeonjun (txt) , seeun (stayc) , karina (aespa)

genre  ‣  brother's best friend trope , childhood friends to lovers , fluff , slight angst

warnings  ‣  profanities , arguing (not much) , not proofread , mentions of alcohol , jay getting a black eye (slight violence) , illegal racing (idk help) , lots of flirting + maybe slow burn , lots of getting cock blocked , sunghoon being a dick at times , hookup scene , reading is rushed (i was dying to get this fic off my wip list im so sorry).

rating  ‣  16+

wc  ‣  46k

a/n  ‣  HI LMAO. starting off with a very big apology for delaying this fic n starving y'all.. like this was due since april. it's been four months working on this fic n to make it up to y'all, here's a whooping 46k fic lolll! AND ALSO , thank you so so so so so so so so so much on 1k+ notes for chasing you ㅠㅠ!! truly im so greatful for it, so so grateful fr like i was so happy i was beaming the entire day when i found out we hit 1k+ on chasing you!!!!!!!!! as a thank you gift for making chasing you (y'all know i always go ALL out on jay fics) a hit, i gift y'all so it goes, volume 2 of the swift project, a whooping 46k (again!) fic!!!!!!! hope u guys have fun n enjoy reading!

playlist  ‣  so it goes...  - taylor swift , love me harder - the weeknd & ariana grande , chateau - blackbear , out of time - the weeknd , don't blame me - taylor swift , dancing with our hands tied - taylor swift , collide - justine skye & tyga , say it - tony lanez , or nah - ty dolla $ign & the weeknd , into you - ariana grande , trust issues - drake , slow down - chase atlantic , maps - maroon 5 , kiss & make up - blackpink & dua lipa , if i - seventeen , heartless - the weeknd , fallin all in you - shawn mendes, lily of the valley - daniel.

BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT had always been the park's sibling thing. you and sunghoon had always been the top of everything, never second or last. 

whether it was in terms of popularity, looks, style, personalities, academics, sports, curriculum, etc— you both never lacked. 

and there were just never any flaws found in the both of you, the both of you were just perfect. 

so perfect that almost everyone wanted to be you, that even when sunghoon graduated everyone was truly so bummed that the school had lost their gem. 

not too sad because you were still left, another gem was still there. and with all the popularity that came, everyone wanted to be you. 

it was just something that's normal, every girl wanted you, every girl wanted you and every guy wanted you, every guy needed a chance with you. 

some would even go telling around that they did get you, rumors like that would often be heard once and then but you never bothered about it. 

because if it's not a real fact, and it's not something you did— it's not a problem, you couldn't care less. 

in the end, you're you and they're them, a bunch of losers and fans that want to be you so bad. it was something you've gotten so used to that it's old news and you don't bother about anymore. 

surely to the reputation, you also live up to your standards. you're strong on your beliefs wherein anything that isn't related to your academics, school, friends, family and curriculum, it's not important.

even if you did like someone, it's just some celebrity crush you'll get over in a week. it wasn't because you're not attracted to anyone, you already had someone else in mind. but that's besides the point. 

because, that didn't seem to convince sunghoon enough considering his stupid little brother agenda had always annoyed you where he has this overprotective thing over you when a guy enters the conversation they can kiss the chances with you goodbye. 

every single time a guy approaches your radar, sunghoon is in your business telling them to fuck off or he'll make their life a living hell. and sunghoon is definitely a man of his words. 

on time this kid in your grade just approached you to ask about something related to the class you both take together and it seemed like it just had to be the worst timing, sunghoon was just right with you. 

the kid literally almost pissed himself from the daggers sunghoon was shooting at him for looking at you more than 5 seconds and you genuinely just wanted to die from how embarrassing it was. 

the fact it happened more than just once just proves how sunghoon overprotective over his sister agenda wasn't leaving anytime soon. 

but now that he's finally out of high school and busy with college and his lifestyle there, you thought you would finally be free from his torment. 

read : you thought. 

sunghoon was regardless on your back no matter what, so you pretty much gave up on trying to get sunghoon snap out of it even though it was annoying. 

what else was even more annoying is that sunghoon didn't seem to trust his own friends around you. 

it would've been less annoying if he had just kept that whole overprotective agenda with random guys but his own friends were just ridiculous. 

perhaps it was because he knew how his friends were, the type of guys that he's always warned you about, the type of guys you had to stay away from no matter what. 

you could agree with that if it came to jake since his natural habitat is being deep inches into different girls every weekend and playing with every single female he could spot. 

but jay? you didn't think so. you knew jay hanging out with jake and your brother would have influenced him in a sort of way, which it did but he was still different from them.

he had his fair amount of hookups, flings and one night stands but you knew he was famous for never being tied down to a relationship. you figured it was probably because he doesn't do commitments and whatnot but maybe he's just less of an asshole compared to your brother when it comes to girls. 

you just find jay somehow more interesting than jake— jake is a great guy but jay just keeps you attracted to him in an unexplainable way. 

you're sure you don't have feelings for him, you don't do all these feelings stuff but, jay has something on you and you like to think it's just probably him being fine. 

besides they're all away in college now so it wouldn't matter, you'll get over it in no time (that's what you've been telling yourself ever since you were 11 but whatever that helps you sleep at night). 

it's been about a year and half now ever since you've seen them and ever since they've moved away for college. other than all the parties and mess they made when they were back home— you couldn't deny that you indeed missed their presence. 

you loved your friends and everything but being around your brother and his friends felt more like home to you.

so you were beyond overjoyed when your mom broke the news that they boys are finally coming back home for summer break. so overjoyed that you couldn't sleep at night, just few hours away from reconciling with your brother and his friends again. 

the entire time you were at school you couldn't wait for each period to end, you were so excited that you couldn't stop talking about the news to your friends. 

"god i can't remember the last time i went to a good party— like, all the parties i went to after the 02z left was literal trash and so lame, " wooyoung sighs, rolling his eyes and continuing to sip his chocolate milk. 

"right? so glad they're finally back in town, summer this time is gonna be the best." karina agrees, shaking her head cheerfully and turns to face you, who's already looking at her with a big smile. 

chuckling at your friends being so hyped and cheerful now that summer break is finally here and senior year is coming to an end— and, the 02z being back in town.

"you guys seem to be more excited than me at this rate."

seeun shoves your shoulder and gives you a mischievous smirk. 

"yeah and you, young lady," she says, narrowing her eyes at you. "you have no excuses now to bail out on us when we're going to parties— school's out, we don't want to hear anymore lame shit coming out of that pretty mouth, y/n."

the only difference between sunghoon and you is that, despite being in the centre of spotlight, you had always been more of a homebody and sunghoon was always the life of the party. 

so when it came to large gatherings like parties and stuff, you were always too occupied with academics to bother about those parties sunghoon threw. 

and the part where sunghoon and his friends are dying of hungover the next morning, you're not a big fan of it, at all. 

"seeun's right, it's finally summer babe! we need to set loose, it's the final year of high school are you seriously gonna choose to leave out all of the fun?" wooyoung asks as he shrugs so exaggeratedly. 

karina nods along, and smiles at you with the very well known smile of hers, the one that just makes you agree to everything she says. 

the rina charm, and unfortunately it works on you. 

"you're already always missing out on the race matches we go to, the ones that your brother and his friends are always at too!" karina whines, at this point she's begging you with pleading eyes.

"i just don't see the point in racing, the hype is too exaggerated." 

"girl, have you seen choi yeonjun?" wooyoung gasps at your statement, crossing his arms across his chest. 

"what? he's back in town again, too?" karina asks as she faces wooyoung with her jaw wide open. 

"yeah, he's back for summer break too which means races are gonna be held more frequently now." 

you just sigh loudly at karina and wooyoung conversing about the races they cannot get enough of, especially with whatever drama that goes on in there. 

one thing you know for sure is that sunghoon did not like choi yeonjun at all, even the sight of him gets the blood boiling. you personally never had any experience with him so you're not sure about what's the hype with him or what's the beef your brother has going on with him. 

whatever it is, you hope he just doesn't get into any messy trouble with yeonjun and ruin the summer for himself and everyone else. 

"so, i was saying— y/n you can't miss out on any fun and i mean it." wooyoung demands, pushing karina aside and ignoring her as she begs wooyoung for more news about yeonjun. 

her massive crush on choi yeonjun was showing, but that was every other girl in belift high, you guess. 

"fine, whatever you guys say." you nod, agreeing to wooyoung and the rest. 

"seriously girl, just let loose and have the best fun you can, you only live once as a teenager, high school will never happen again." wooyoung says and pouts at you with his hand plastered on his chest so dramatically. 

"you need to shut the fuck up, that was so corny." seeun says and bursts into laughter with karina. 

well she wasn't wrong entirely, wooyoung has quite a knack for being so dramatic for no reason at all. 

"seriously, y/n? you too?" he sulks, seeing you joining karina and seeun laughing at him. 

"wait! no, wooyoung—" you call out the half blonde half black haired boy as he gets up and leaves, sulking. 

"you better go after him, you started this!" karina says, slapping seeun's arm and pushing her off the bench. 

you just wave seeun a goodbye when she leaves whining after wooyoung, in hopes he'd get over it. 

"you should get going," karina chuckles, and gets up with her bag slinged over her shoulder. 

you completely forget your brother and his friends arrival, too engulfed into the conversation with your friends. 

"oh yeah, i almost forgot." jumping over the bench, you grip onto your bag and walk the opposite way as you wave at karina.

"see you rina!" 

the walk back home was quite nervous for some reason. you found it weird you were feeling this way, it was really just the same three people you practically grew up with, so being nervous shouldn't even be in your system. 

somehow the closer you got to your residence, your heart was beating against your rib cage in nervousness. 

the familiar car parked in front of the front yard gave you the chills and the excitement being mixed with nervousness was making you light-headed. 

entering your home you see your mother walking down the stairs with a big smile at you. 

"are they back already?" you ask and take off your bag in a rush before heading into the living room right away. 

"what? were you hoping we weren't gonna come back?" a voice pops up from the corner and there was the cocky tone in the voice that your recognized all too well. 

"hoon!" you gasp, engulfing him into a hug with big smiles plastered on each other's faces. sunghoon chuckles and gasps for air jokingly when you wrap your arms around him so tightly. 

"you're gonna kill me, y/n!" sunghoon whines, tapping your arm when you pull away with a scowl. 

"what a way to greet your sister that you haven't seen in a year and plus right? the best brother award must belong to you." you say, scoffing and rolling your eyes when he smirks with a proud expression on his face. 

"that award has always been mine, you're just too late to acknowledge that." he says, cocking his eyebrow as he smiles at you. 

yeah, you definitely missed him so much. 

"seriously? not even a second after the sibling reunion, you guys are already fighting." 

you turn around to see jake coming out from the kitchen, striding his way towards you with a big smile.

"jake!" 

pulling you into a hug, you melted into his embrace and taking in the feeling you missed oh so much. 

"cut it out now," sunghoon interrupts, pulling you apart from him making you and jake whine in annoyance. 

what was sunghoon without keeping you off limits from his friends right?

"dude im finally seeing her after more than a year— are you serious right now?" jake scoffs jokingly, whining at his best friend. 

"well you can see her," sunghoon says, nodding his head towards you. "but keep your hands off her." 

"even if your hair changed, that overprotective brother in you definitely didn't." you grunt, tearing your gaze away from jake and hoon to the figure standing by the kitchen, a small smirk on his face as he watches the ongoing quarrel. 

eyes scanning you up and down, he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to you and the rest, hands in pocket and smug expression plastered on his pretty face. 

you're stunned, you weren't going to lie. 

natural black did wonders on him, and wonders as in making you feel so giddy the moment your eyes laid on him. 

you didn't ever know how gorgeous someone could look like in jet-black hair, jay pulled it off so effortlessly— he looked even more better than he was in blonde. 

if that wasn't enough to hold you back from almost letting your jaw hit the floor from seeing him, jay has gotten a lot more broader and you wonder if he's been hitting the gym in the past year because the outlines of his biceps and muscles looked more defined. 

your eyes just couldn't leave his just as his couldn't leave yours. 

you looked just like he could remember but more— breathtaking. senior year has definitely played a big part on how much you've matured over the year, you look more pretty and hot. 

"hey," 

"hi, jay." 

your voice has gotten deeper than he remembers, the high pitchy voice now replaced with an alluring voice that was truly taking everything in him to not get weak in his knees. 

nevertheless, pushing all the thoughts behind, jay just gives you a small smile and then faces away from you. 

you're not sure why the lack of attention or interaction with him gave you a small pang in the heart, not that it shouldn't have mattered. 

you paused to think, no way in hell did you consider wanting anything to do with him that isn't platonic— just because suddenly he showed up after a year and half being gone, looking a lot more fine and handsome, didn't mean he could be your summer fling. 

but you couldn't help but think about the possibilities of it happening, it seemed fun and thrilling. 

the mere thought of sneaking behind your brother's back and fooling around with his best friend didn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all— pretty much the thought of it gave you a sudden adrenaline rush although that could be such a betrayal to your brother from two people he trusted, his sister and his best friend.

with the sudden tension between you two and summer break starting, having a small fun can't possibly go wrong, _right_?

just a summer fling can't possibly be more than just a summer fling, and your friends were telling you to let loose, this could be your chance. 

if jay was down for it and you were, as long as you both are being discreet enough, not a single soul knowing about it besides the two of you (and maybe your friends), nothing can go wrong.

"we're gonna head out for a moment, it's been awhile— we'll probably go around the town for a few hours," sunghoon tells your mother as he picks up the car keys with jake hot on his trail. 

"we'll be back before dinner, mrs.park!" jake agrees along with his friend, giving your parents his sweet cheshire cat smile. 

your parents could never not give in, especially when it comes to jake. how could they not, especially when the boys are finally back after a long time, they deserved to have some fun.

"alright i guess," she says before pointing at the jake and sunghoon. "be back home before dinner, you promised and be safe, boys." 

nodding like a bobbleheads, jake and sunghoon giving each other high-fives, they rush out the door. 

"dude, let's go!" 

you glance at jay, seeing him give a small bow at your parents before looking back at you and leaving with his friends to whatever mess they're about to create. 

the look he gave put few thoughts into your head, one being the one-million dollar question; 

he can be your summer fling, right?_

HOURS HAS passed by and your brother and his friends were still not home yet, although it was inching closer to dinner time in a few minutes. 

even your friends had stopped for 'checking on you' when in reality they were actually just here to catch a glimpse of the 02z. just too bad, their timing was wrong. 

helping your mom with taking the dishes to the dining table, as soon as you place it down on the table, the front door opens and you hear shuffling down the hallway. 

"we're home!" 

sunghoon enters the kitchen first, and immediately sits down at the table but your mom slaps his hands when he reaches for the food.

"AH!" 

"has college ruined your manners? go wash your hands, sunghoon!" your mom glare at him, immediately making him get up, sulking as he disappears into the kitchen to wash his hands. 

you stifle your laugh when you follow him into the kitchen to get more plates. 

"i'll knock off your teeth, stop laughing." sunghoon scowls, glaring at you in annoyance. 

sibling fights used to be the one thing you dreaded the most, but when sunghoon was away, it was the thing you missed the most although you had your peace. 

"yeah yeah as if hoon," you stick out your tongue at him. "how do you have no manners in your fossil age?" 

without a warning, sunghoon flicks off the water from his wet hands into your face making you shriek in surprise— and well, now your skin damp.

"PARK SUNGHOON!" you scream, taking water into your hands and flicking it on to him. 

"Y/N WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" he whines back, and chases you around the kitchen to flick more water onto you. 

you're both fully drenched by the time your mother heads into the kitchen at the sudden commotion and screaming. 

"are you both serious right now?" she sighs loudly, slamming her hand against the cabinet on her left, stopping you both in tracks. 

"you both need to grow up, are you guys seriously gonna fight? sunghoon you're an adult, y/n you're old enough to think!" 

you stare silently at your mom, suddenly feeling embarrassed when jake peeks his head into the kitchen, behind your mom. 

"she started it first, you're always blaming me…" sunghoon trails off making you gasp at his audacity to blame you. 

"me?! he's lying, mom!" 

"both of you cut it out, i don't want to hear anything— get changed i don't want to see you both drenched AND CLEAN THIS MESS!" she scoffs, glaring at the both of you and then leaving the kitchen to attend to the guests. 

you both stand in silence before bursting out into laughter. 

"you're so annoying, gosh." sunghoon chuckles, as he kneels down to wipe the wet patches on the floor from flicking water at you earlier. 

"if anything you're the annoying one here, hoon." you retort back, chuckling when you kneel down next to him. 

you both clean up the mess in silence, before one of you speak up again. 

"i missed this," 

you look up at sunghoon and see him smiling at you softly. "the saying, you don't miss something until you can't have it anymore, it's true." 

"i was really homesick most of the time more than i was having fun back there— sure partying was always my thing, but i missed two among the most important things in my life." he continues but halts his actions when he  looks at you. 

you hum at him to go on, with a small smile.

"home and racing." 

"why was i expecting you to say it was me or something?" you snort, shaking your head a sunghoon being dramatic. 

"are you not my home, y/n?" 

you pause, looking at sunghoon whose face is now flustered, and eyes slightly glossy. 

"sunghoon," 

"i missed my sister the most, you know you mean the world to me more than anything— family will always come first to me." 

you stay silent, letting sunghoon pull you into a hug, and sigh. 

sunghoon was barely the one to express his affection towards you in this brother and sister relationship, it had always been you. 

so seeing sunghoon breakdown from being homesick after being away, you realize that the empty spot in your heart is filled the moment you fall into sunghoon's arms. 

it's so reassuringly comforting that when teardrops falling from your eyes surprised you. 

"i missed you too, hoon." you whisper, and close your eyes, letting the hug make up for all the moments you stood in front of his room when he was away, hoping he'd be behind it, waiting to yell at you for disturbing him. 

or when the days you'd come back home to a empty house when your parents were frequently out of town for business, you secretly hoped the house would've been filled with random people from school with sunghoon in the kitchen or upstairs chugging down his beer from beer pong, ready to be yelled at you for holding a party when you needed to study for s test you'd ace regardless. 

"we look so dumb right now." sunghoon laughs, pulling away from you and rubs his eyes and sticky cheeks from the tears. 

"it's alright, we're dumb and dumber." you say, chuckling when sunghoon agrues that he's just dumb and you're dumber. 

whatever that made him happy you figured. 

after cleaning up the mess and catching up, your mom was already scolding you guys for missing out on the entire dinner which resulted to you and sunghoon having a late night dinner as you both catched up on each others lives while the rest were already in their designated rooms for the night. 

when you slipped into bed that night, there was a lingering guilt feeling in your chest after the interaction with jay from the day and sunghoon's confession from earlier. 

sunghoon said you were one of the most important people in his life, and if you were to betray him and his trust, you'd never forgive yourself for it. 

but liking someone isn't a crime, if you were attracted to jay and if you were to have a fling with him regardless, there was nothing you could do about it

to say the least, you were lost in confusion and absolutely clueless before you drifted off into your slumber.

MAYBE SPRING was a better season compared to summer because you were drenched in sweat the second you stepped out of your house just to wait for wooyoung to pick you up. 

you and your friends finally decided to make plans for the first week of summer. ever since that night, you and the 02z barely met apart from seeing each other for a few seconds in the morning, so you figured they were busy for the time being, hence hanging out with your friends seemed to be much of an better idea than just staying home and rewatching the same series you've been watching for months now. 

but now that you're practically damp and sticky, staying home didn't seem much of a bad idea anymore. before you could head in, the familiar red mercedes stops in front of your yard, honking at you. 

"i can see you're here, there was absolutely no reason to honk, woo." you say, rolling your eyes when he winks at you. 

"my baby sounds hot when he's talking," wooyoung says when you close the door after getting in. 

you hear karina and seeun gag at wooyoung's over exaggeration about his car. 

"it's about fucking time you're finally obsessed with something that isn't choi san." seeun says without batting an eye at wooyoung as she continues to scroll on her phone. 

the silence wooyoung gave was loud enough to make the three of you look at him and gasp. 

"don't tell me….." 

"why else would i want to volunteer to take you guys to the pool party choi yeonjun is hosting?" he asks, leaning his arm on the armrest and puckering his lips out. 

"CHOI YEONJUN?" karina shrieks, well practically screams at the name of her crush being mentioned. 

seeun gives her a sigh, mentally regretting what she agreed to when wooyoung had texted in the group chat earlier if anyone wanted to hang out at a pool party. 

she thought he meant a personal one where it was just them, the thought of wooyoung taking his friends to a pool party where his crush was definitely not on her thoughts radar. 

"okay so we're going to a pool party hosted by choi yeonjun?" you ask as you take off your sunnies and point it at wooyoung. 

he nods. 

"see you guys tomorrow, i'm leaving!" you chuckle and turn around to leave but wooyoung is quick to lock the doors. you attempt to open it again but seeun sighing loudly again just made you give up. 

"y/n, don't be a party pooper!" 

"wooyoung do you not know how much trouble i can get into if sunghoon finds out?" you whine loudly, and let your head hit against the cool leather seat you're on. 

"it's about time you stop walking on eggshells around your brother," he says, and you give him a glare. 

"and—" he stops you before you could argue further, "i heard your brother and his friends are there so, it's probably not a big deal. maybe yeonjun and your brother are finally civil again or not why else would he be there?" 

wooyoung's right but your gut tells you to not trust him, he's always the root of the problem when the rest of you get into a mess. so speaking from you experience you don't want to trust him, but the sudden reminder that jay would be there somehow makes you cave in. 

besides, you did see the boys leaving a few hours prior to this in summer wear, so wooyoung also isn't wrong. 

karina gives you her pleading eyes and you sigh, nodding after a while. 

the two cheers while you and seeun sigh in worry and bored. 

you don't know what you signed up for, but you have a feeling it's about to be eventful for sure.

PEOPLE LEARN FROM THEIR mistakes all the time, some do after committing mistakes once more and some don't at all. you and your friends belong in the last category as for now and as long as you guys continue to be friends with jung wooyoung. 

trusting wooyoung was always a bad idea, even when it came to skipping out on classes, it was always the three of you getting caught and woyoung somehow getting away or when you accidentally got wasted as fuck and got an earful from your parents while wooyoung stayed back like a cat after being the one who brought you into the mess.

even if you guys ever managed to not get into a trouble it was by sheer luck and once in a blue moon.

however, now wasn't any different either— you, karina and seeun are contemplating on why did you guys think trusting wooyoung when he said a bomb ass pool party that's hosted by choi yeonjun was a good idea. 

the four of you stood stranded in the middle of the party house, glaring at wooyoung after he 'found out' that it wasn't actually choi yeonjun hosting the pool party, it was actually some other kid with a choi too— him mishearing now has lead to the four of you to be clueless in a random stranger's house pool party. 

"what do we do now?" you ask and receive no responses back except for karina still looking around hoping for a choi yeonjun to show up, wooyoung bored out of his mind and seeun being emotionless and annoyed. 

this wasn't what you would see at a pool party but your friend group has issues. 

"oh my," 

the three of you turn towards karina who's gawking at the backyard with her jaw slacked on her floor. 

"what?"

"oh my god y/n the 02z are here!" 

"what?" you shriek. you did expect something from karina but that definitely was not it. wooyoung gasps when he sees jake entering the house, wet and damp head to toe, like he had just come out from the pool. 

by the obvious looks of it, he definitely did— water trailing down his toned chest and his blonde but now light brown hair sticking to his forehead. from the opposite of the room, with everyone's eyes on him, his gaze meets yours. 

jake smiles when he sees you and immediately strides over as he continues to wipe his hair with the towel in his hand. 

"yo y/n, didn't know you were coming!"

"oh, uh me too." you laugh awkwardly, glancing at wooyoung who just gave you a small smirk before you looked back at jake again. "we just happened to be here, by mistake." 

jake just laughs in response as he looks at you, while karina is staring at him with two big hearts popped out of her eye sockets. 

"don't know what you mean but hope you guys have fun," he says, and looks around at your friend group. "i'm gonna go hop in the shower, see you around, yeah?" 

"yeah, cool, bye!" you wave at him and immediately turn back to your friends. 

"y/n be honest, do your brother's friends get a free pass to you that others don't?" 

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you shriek at the sudden comment by wooyoung who's giving you the most mischievous shit-eating grin ever.

"you know, like, does jake sim have the hots for you or something because he could not stop staring at you, the whole entire time he was here." 

karina gasps, agreeing along with wooyoung as if she wasn't drooling at the sight of a shirtless, wet glistering jake sim which she probably could have developed a crush on a while ago. 

"karina i thought you were better than this, why are you even agreeing with whatever nonsense wooyoung just brews?" you ask, and scrunch your nose in disbelief when she sighs and reasons. 

"wooyoung is not wrong, the entire time i was staring at him, his eyes did not leave yours and those skimpy shorts of yours," she says, giggling at the way your face reddened. 

"you made a good choice today, love the shorts babe." 

you sigh disappointedly at your friends' delusions, "i hope i never hear that again because one, it's not true." 

"and two, on the worst case scenario— sunghoon will murder jake," you pause and point at yourself with your thumb facing tour way. "and me." 

karina sighs exasperatedly, "how is it any of your brother's business if you get bitches or not?" 

"yeah like at this rate your life companion is about to be your right hand flicking the bean, and you'll die a bitchless virgin." 

wooyoung nods, and gives you a mocking pout. 

"that's the worst that can happen to you, y/n. we mean it." he says, scanning your stunned state. 

"you guys worry too much about her, she's a grown woman that can fend for herself, neither you guys or her brother should even be this controlling and way too worried for her." 

the three of you look toward seeun who finally spoke up and staring back clearly annoyed which makes wooyoung scoff obnoxiously loud, as if it was on purpose. 

"forget about y/n for a second," he pauses for an instant. "what's up with you all day, all up in your feels and shit?" 

seeun furrows her eyebrows, confused why wooyoung was suddenly up her ass with an annoying question. 

but before she could retort back at wooyoung, you cut her off. "i think we should chill!" 

"yeah yeah! y/n, let's go by the pool!" karina cheers, grabbing you by the first and dragging you away from the two annoyed hotheads. 

"wooyoung's right though, seeun hasn't been in the best mood all day. she's been sighing and sulking," karina says as you follow her , hot on her trail. 

when you don't say anything and just hum, karina continues on, "especially when jake was eye fucking you earlier—" 

"he wasn't eye fucking me!" you gasp at her illicit way of expressing jake looking at you as he spoke, it was proper speaking courtesy (or perhaps your friends were right and you just didn't notice it!). 

karina gave you a lopsided smile and then continued as you caught up to her by her side while you guys made your way out of the sweaty bodies in the crowd.

"i was saying, especially when he was 'looking' at you earlier," she says, "seeun was literally shooting daggers at him." 

"are you serious?" you ask her, chuckling at the way she was over exaggerating it. maybe seeun is on the time of the month and wasn't feeling too well, or perhaps she didn't enjoy jake interrupting you four.

karina shakes her head at you, denying. 

"my gut and rina instincts says that……" she trails off with her index finger tapping into her chin while she pretends to think knowing damn well the answer is already in her head. 

"just say it!" 

"that seeun got jealous because jake was talking to you and not her!" 

you halt your steps, immediately tugging karina back due to you two holding hands and you stare at her, completely stunned. 

"i don't know if your speciality is being dense or— there's no way in hell that's possible," you say to karina, shaking your head at her statement. 

"what do you mean? you know she's always hyped when 02z hold parties and— and… you know!" karina whines, trying to justify her guess but she only gives it up when you laugh. 

"although you and i both know that's not true— but if it's actually true, then good for her, i'll keep my limits with jake for her sake, if that helps." you say and walk away last karina when you spot a vacant beach lounge. 

karina's instincts tingle again, but this time it indicates something's wrong, nevertheless she just pushes it to the back of her mind and heads over to you, deciding that minding her own business as of now seemed like a better option. 

as soon as you both settle down, you take off your clothes and now, in your bathing suit, ready to sunbathe due to the weather being just perfect for it. 

you turn to ask karina to give the sunblock moisturizer, but she's already somehow dozed off with a book on top of her face, covering her sleeping state. 

sighing, you pick it up yourself and sit back down to apply it on, but just as you were about to, your attention is caught by a person at the opposite of you in the pool, surrounded by a flock of girls. 

although you're sitting on the chair, you couldn't help but feel your knees weak when you see his skin glistering under the sun from the water and his hair just slicked back, a few strands sticking onto his forehead just like jake from before. 

jay's gaze remains on you despite the girls practically pushing themselves on him and you weren't going to lie, that definitely gave you quite an ego boost and made you feel some type of way. 

as if he's only focused on you even if the most charming girl wants him.

lips curling up into a smirk, you let out a breathy laugh when one of the girls slides her hand up his chest, pulling him onto her shoulder, like a hug but she's practically lying on him. 

nevertheless the gaze of the boy doesn't leave yours and somehow you feel like you're entitled to retort back, in a way.

two can play at this game, for sure. 

squirting the liquid from the bottle, you drop the bottle and spread the liquid on your skin, all while making sure you're doing it in the most sensual way possible. applying the moisture on your legs, slowly while remaining eye contact with him and a growing smirk in your face. 

what you didn't expect out of that action is for jay to push off the girls and swim his way towards you. that's was quick, you thought and pushed your hair forward onto your right side. 

"what do you think you're doing?" is the first thing he says and your smirk is immediately replaced with a scowl. 

"well, hello to you too jay!" you scoff, though that doesn't really seem to phase jay. 

"you're not answering my question," he says, leaning into the tiles and squinting his eyes at you. if he definitely wasn't being rudely annoying, you would've gave him a compliment or two because holy hell, was this boy fine as fuck.

"a—" 

"i asked what do you think you're doing?" he asks, cutting you off. you're starting to wonder if he had always been this annoying before. 

too bad as far as you could, he wasn't even this rude before, jay seemed to have a knack for it now. college must've changed him.

"why does it matter to you what i do?" you ask, rolling your eyes at him. jay glares at you sharply before, he jabs his tongue against his inner cheek. 

truth to be told, your heart wasn't the only thing pulsing. 

"well it does. don't do that again, especially to just anyone, y/n, im serious." he says, getting out from the pool with water just dripping down his body and it was truly taking everything in you to not gawk at him, shamelessly. 

"and i'm serious jay, there's nothing wrong with what happened, i was just applying sunscreen." you justify with the growing smile in your face that makes jay snap. 

"just applying sunscreen?" he asks, even copying the tone you used. "i don't think so y/n, looks like you were trying to do something else there."

"huh, really? and what would that be then?" you ask, gasping at the end to add a little bit of attitude as you laid back in your chair, looking up at him. 

"are you kidding me right now?" 

"oh, no! i'm not, why would i?" you gasp, faking a shock in surprise when he asks you the obvious. "i mean, you said i was trying to do something else and i have no idea what i was trying to do like you said, so please, enlighten me, jay?" 

jay bends down, leaning over close to you so he's on the same eye level as you. pressing down on your thigh, making your stomach do flips, he sighs. 

"don't press my buttons, y/n, i know what you're trying to do, don't." he says, with a small nonchalant smirk. 

"w—" 

"y/n." you never knew your name sounded so good before, and jay saying it has you tongue tied.

 "you'll tempt me too then." 

if that didn't leave you speechless, you certainly don't know what would and with that being plastered on your entire face, jay's smirk grows bigger and he just walks off, leaving you flustered. 

"f-fuck." you breathe out, bringing your hand to your face to feel so hot it was getting. your face was hotter than the weather itself, and that spoke for itself. 

when you got back home, you were glad the boys weren't back yet because you didn't know what to do if you ever saw jay again. you just didn't know how to react if you saw him again and the only thing that'll flash through your mind is the scene from the pool party before. 

how could something so meaningless like that affect you this much? you didn't know the answer yourself. 

after escaping from your friends, jay, your brother and coming back home, you just rushed to take shower and shut yourself in your room. 

only after a few hours did the boys finally come back home and you made sure to avoid jay every way possible, though you were already locking yourself inside your room. 

and the scene from the pool earlier just couldn't stop playing in your head like a broken cassette tape. 

like what the fuck was "you'll tempt me too then," even meant, because that was something that definitely had thinking about all night, not a single blink of sleep did you have tonight. 

you glance over at the clock on your nightstand for the 100th time tonight, showing it's just past three a.m. and your stomach starts rumbling. 

you missed dinner from trying to hide from jay, though your mom insisted on sending it to you upstairs, you figured you'd be fine just missing one meal. seems like it's not. 

slipping out of your sheets, you walked out of bed and headed downstairs when you were sure it was pitch black and eerie silent in the dark hours of the night. you see all the rooms were closed so that probably meant everyone was asleep, at least you hope they were. 

cause as soon as you walked into the kitchen, your soul almost left your body when you see a tall figure leaning against the cabinets, scrolling through his phone. 

"oh my fucking god," you gasp, holding onto your chest as your other hand flicks on the light switch, revealing jay looking at you with his eyebrows furrowed. "you scared me!" 

no reaction is on his face even when you approach him with another gasp from staring at his forehead. 

"were you at the tracks? what happened!" shrieking, you move his hand out of the way and examine the wound on his head. it was a cut, but it looked like it wasn't treated yet, that would lead to an infection. 

when he doesn't answer even when you move back, you gasp, once more time. 

"did you get into a fight?!" 

"it wasn't a fight, y/n." he replies, and puts his palm against the wound to hide it but only winces in pain when his hand makes contact with the wound. 

"then what the hell happened?" 

"why are you worrying?" he asks, shutting his phone off and placing it on the table, right next to you and turns his focus into you. 

you should be asking yourself the same question too, why exactly are you worried about him. sure you should worry, but worrying in this way, that wasn't necessary. 

but you still find yourself worrying as soon as you see the wound in his pretty face though you can just go on with your day, just gasping at first sight, telling him to treat it and a get well soon, would've been fine but— worrying up close, doesn't seem like what a normal person would do. 

"i'm not worrying! but the wound isn't treated, it can turn out worse, jay." you say, and turn around to go take the first aid kit but a hand wrapping around your arm pulls you back. 

"there's no need for that, it's just a minor injury." 

"did you get into a fight? there's no way a minor injury can look like this?" you ask him, looking up at his wound then back to his face. it annoys you that he's looking at you with a relaxed smile because you would be crying your ass out for that shit hurting like hell. 

"no— no, not a fight, again." he says, and lets go of your arm. "i just kind of fell," 

"fell?!" 

"y/n, it's not that deep, i'm fine." he says, stopping you from saying anything more. "really— and you said you're not worrying, to me this definitely looks like you're worrying." 

your mouth opens and closes when no words seem to come out of it, immediately embarrassing yourself. you hate yourself for getting easily flustered by him. 

you move away and awkwardly look away, avoiding his gaze that's burning into your back. you can practically feel his eyes on your entire body, and damn right you just had to wear the most skin showing nightwear. 

"what are you so late for?" he asks, breaking the tense atmosphere created in so little time. you turn around to look at him, and he's leaning against the counter, now with his elbows propped up as he looks at you. 

does this man know how fine he is?

"couldn't sleep," you replied and then remembered the reason why you even came downstairs in the first place. 

you walk past him to the opposite side of the kitchen, and tiptoe to reach the upper shelf to get the ramen packet you hid just a few days ago, from sunghoon just in case he tries to steal it all. 

too bad, that didn't end well for you because now you're struggling to reach the upper part of the cabinet and the fact jay is just watching you was making you embarrassed. 

you're not short— you have the average height for every teen your age, it's just the cabinet in the house is just way too high for you. and right now just had to be when your little stool is missing. 

jay is trying so hard to not stare at the way your thighs just keep on showing from how your dress is riding up each time you tiptoe more to reach the upper shelf. 

pushing himself off the counter, he strides to you and opens the cabinet above you catching you off the guard. his back against yours, and your back against his, you almost passed out at the feeling of his toned chest against your back the only thing separating your bodies are the thin clothings of yours and his. 

grabbing the packet, he doesn't move back yet instead he places the packet next to you, on the table making sure his skin is on yours as he places it down. it's making you light-headed, he knows what's he doing and you're liking it. 

"you could've just asked for help if you needed it." he says, but almost like an whisper to how close he is next to you. 

turning around, his arms traps you in between both arms on each side. the height difference was killing you but the way you're both looking at each other, it's filled with so much of tension. 

but two can play at this game, right? again. 

your lips turn upwards into a smile and your widened pupils turn into lazier ones, battling your eyelashes at him from underneath. you trail your hand up his firm chest, the ones that were on your back earlier.

and you lean closer, "very thoughtful of you," you say, smiling. "thank you, jay." 

with that, you push him aside and take the ramyeon packet with you to the stove area, leaving him completely flustered this time. if he thinks he can play you, you've done this million times before, you're definitely a pro. 

a scoff leaves jay before he crosses his arms and goes back to the counter and takes a seat on the lined up stools. 

just right before you put the noodles into the water in the pot, under the fire, you turn around to look back at the boy looking just right at you. 

"do you want to have ramyeon with me?" 

very crucial question that holds various of meanings. 

"sure—" 

"only on one condition." you cut him off. "get that wound treated." 

jay looks at you for a second and then takes off the leather jacket he has on. before replying, his lips curve into a smile as well.

"okay." 

A WOMAN AND A MAN eating ramyeon meant two things as far as you were concerned. one, just two normal friends or mutuals having a talk over ramyeon, just a simple thing!

another is two people on a date because person a asking person b to eat ramyeon with them means they're asking the other out, and if they say yes, then they're both going out. 

but what happened when you asked jay to eat ramyeon with him was really neither. because one, you're both not friends, nor are you two mutuals. you're both just— unlabeled, cause you both do not act like you're just friends. 

friends don't say things that keep them awake the entire night thinking about it, friends don't make each other feel things, giddy, and get butterflies. friends certainly don't just lean up to each other and flirt tremendously. 

jay is just your brother's best friend and you are just jay's best friend's sister. 

nothing more or nothing less, and that was killing you. 

the night you both are ramyeon together, nothing much even happened after that though you were secretly hoping for something to happen. 

apart from you both having a mild conversation on how life was after being away from home for college and how's senior life, nothing even happened. not even skinship, that's how it was. 

when you asked jay about his social life and dating stuffs, everything he replied seemed so new. you were expecting some type of 'oh nothing new, just sunghoon type of shit'. 

but instead you were stunned by his replies. 

" so how's college life? sunghoon hasn't mentioned any girlfriend yet," you ask, ignoring the small pang at the mention of jay having a girlfriend. sometimes you just be doing the damage to yourself.

"oh, well— i'm really not into that anymore." 

"you're gay?!" 

"y/n, no?" jay laughs at your sudden outburst, wishing he could capture the moment when your face is already puffy and the noodles halfway stopped between your pouty lips as you stare at him with big eyes. "i'm not gay, i'm just not interested in commitments at the moment." 

"oh," 

"why? are you disappointed?" 

"what? that you're not gay?" 

"no, that i'm not committed." 

"why would i be disappointed about that?" you laugh, waving him off and continue chewing on the noodles. 

but his next question makes you choke. 

"so you're glad i'm not seeing anyone?" 

"WHAT! YOU'RE JUST PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH!" 

jay laughs out loud but you smack the table and he lowers down his wheezing, to the point where he almost falls from the chair he's sitting on. 

"it's not funny, stop making fun of me." 

"okay, okay." 

"so, then you're not into dating and stuff and all?" you ask him, deciding to snoop in more. 

"not exactly, i just— don't want to date the wrong person, if that person is not who i want to spend my everything with then dating them is really not worth the time, though college is the time of your life where you just go crazy and have fun because you'll never experience the same thing again but to me, i want this part of my life to be as meaningful as the rest, so i want the right person to do it with." 

"did you steal that off a movie?" 

"y/n." 

"geez i was joking— but uh wow, that's great. i hope you get what you want, and be happy." 

"thanks," 

"so you're also saying your only partner at the moment is your hand?" 

"Y/N!" 

"WHAT IM JUST ASKING?" 

"why do you want to know about that!" 

"because you said you're not in—" 

"that doesn't mean i don't get laid now or then?" 

"oh i see….." 

"i have my fair amount of one night stands and you know.. but, i meant romantically when i meant committed." 

"wait so—" 

jay stuffs the poached egg into your mouth right when you open it to speak. your words become muffled and his giggles at you getting angrily cute, according to him!

"no more questions unless you want to get your little crush on me gone."

whatever jay was thinking when he said that night definitely has succeeded into having him invade your mind and staying there, rent free. he hasn't left your mind ever since, even when you're hanging out with your friends all you can think of is him. 

if you haven't realized it by now, jay has a charm for making girls starstruck on him. maybe now you can relate to all those girls that literally look at him with big heart eyes. 

"y/n!" seeun shoves your shoulder, snapping you out of your dilemma. 

"ah yes, you were saying?" 

"were you not listening?" 

you look away, remaining silent and seeun just sighs really loud. 

"you've been distracted ever since i came here!" she says, sulking into her seat and you turn to look at her. 

"i'm sorry, i just— something's on my mind and i can't get it out.." you trail off, pouting at her in an attempt to make her stop sulking. 

"so what is it?" 

"what's what?" 

"what's got you thinking like that, that you can't get it out of your mind?" 

seeun's question has you sighing as you fall back onto your bed. "im in confusion." 

"what's the confusion you're in?" she asks, leaning forward, eyebrows furrowed. 

"i think i'm attracted to jay, and i think I want him to be the summer fling i mentioned." when summer started, and when you guys all went on break, you and the rest had a conversation about

"what? y/n, what?" 

"i said i think i'm attracted to jay and i want him to be the summer fling." 

"are you serious right now?" 

"yeah? you already know i'm barely ever interested in anyone else and jay seems to be the only guy that has me feeling stuff and it's summer, like you said, a summer fling. he's a perfect candidate for that." 

"no y/n, why jay?" seeun asks, with a weird tone in her question that doesn't sit right with you for some reason. 

"why not jay?" you ask her, furrowing your eyebrows, confused as why it can't be jay. 

"you know better than anyone else that anyone related to your brother and his friends, or even his friends, is seriously bad news." she reasons. "jay is bad news, y/n, you know it." 

"at least he isn't as bad as hoon and jake, seeun…" 

"men are men, y/n. you know how they play girls, especially the 02z, things do not end well at all." 

"seeun i don't even like him romantically so i don't know what isn't going to 'not end well'." you say, shrugging. 

"sooner or later you will y/n, I'm warning you now, there's plenty of other people that can be your summer fling why does it have to be park jay?" she asks, shaking her head at you trying to justify your choice. 

"i won't seeun, i know it. it's just summer, it'll be over before you know it, and i'll be going to college after that, it could be great to get any experience before that too— and jay, doesn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all." 

"y/n…." 

"seeun! it's gonna be fine, you know how i am— why don't you trust me with this? you guys told me to let loose and have fun!" 

seeun sighs, knowing she can't talk you out of this especially when you're already hard on your summer fling being jay. she just doesn't get why it has to be him. 

"it's that i don't trust you, i just don't trust him." 

you chuckle at her, placing your hand on hers, and give her a reassuring smile. 

"just— just don't get into any trouble and when the damage is done, don't say i didn't say so…." 

after the talk with seeun, you both ended up just watching a movie and when dinner time came around, seeun left before the boys got back home. you didn't understand why she was so worked up over you wanting to have a summer fling with jay, although she was the most hyped when the news of the boys being back in town was mentioned. 

you figured it's probably because she's worried that you wouldn't be having much time to spend with the rest during the break because you'd be with jay— that seemed to be the only logical reason as to why she reacted like that earlier.

"you smell like tar, and smoke." 

sunghoon scrunches up his nose at the smell radiating off his clothes when he brought his jacket near his nose at your comment. 

"oh, i do." he coughs, shaking his head. 

"go and shower, it stinks!" you groan, pushing him towards the stairs when he threatens to come near you. "we can watch a movie after dinner!" 

"you can't bail out okay? I don't want to hear that you're sleepy—" 

"yes sunghoon, yes okay! just get rid of the smell!" you sigh, and he finally leaves without any other argument. you guess they might have been at the racing track from the smell and how exhausted they looked. 

as soon as they all got back, jake and jay rushed upstairs to shower and get ready for dinner while as sunghoon lingered around the kitchen where your mom and you were complaining that he smelt like tar and smoke. 

it always surprised you how your mom was okay with sunghoon racing, although it's dangerous and not safe at all. perhaps maybe because your dad used to be a racer back when he was in his young adult phase before he tied the knot with your mom and then decided to become an engineer.

you guess maybe your mom thinks he could turn out like your dad, that racing is just a phase in his life before he figured out that it's just a waste of time that he has potential for something else. 

you don't know, but whenever sunghoon does racing, your anxiety is always through the roof, hoping he comes back home safe and sound, not a single scratch on his body although that was impossible. accidents always came along with racing, this always gave you and your parents the scare of their lives. 

"let's eat!" your mother chirps, calling you to the table as soon as the boys get back downstairs to eat. 

dinner went by pretty much fine, except for the most parts you and jay's stares just couldn't leave each other, not that anyone noticed. everyone was too engulfed in your mother's cooking and the conversation going on to care about sunghoon's little sister and his best friend stealing glances too often..

"i'll pick the movie!" sunghoon says, rushing to the living room as soon as everyone's done with dinner. you help your mom with the dishes along with jake while jay and sunghoon went over to pick a movie. 

your parents excused themselves, saying they were too tired to join you guys for movie time, which you guys didn't mind at all. if anything, you guys preferred it that way. 

sunghoon ended up picking a basic rom-com,, he reasoned his choice with how this girl he hooked up with would not stop talking about the show, so he wanted to see what's the hype with it. 

you, jay and jake just agreed with his choice knowing if you guys were to disagree there wouldn't be any other choices to pick from. jake takes the longer couch, laying down almost immediately after winning a scissor, paper, stone with sunghoon. 

your brother sprawls out on the floor, with his blanket wrapped around his body and about four pillows surrounding him, including the one under his head too. 

that leaves you and jay, standing awkwardly having to choose but to settle down on the smaller yet regular couch. the couch isn't too bad, you can fall asleep on it, the only downside (pro)  about it is the limited space. 

it's like the couch is perfectly built for two people squished up together. you just sigh quietly and take a seat on one end while jay takes a seat on the other end. you two don't say anything for the most part when the movie starts. 

the basic storyline of the movie already has you zoning out, and staring at other objects around the living room halfway into the movie. when you turn to your right you see jay's side profile, and you're starstruck. 

you've seen his side profile before but the view you have now is just astonishing. somehow under the dim light of the living room, the only source of light coming from the large hd smart TV in your living room, he looks gorgeous to say the least. 

you notice his faint birthmark on his neck, realising how pretty and how perfect it described him. his relaxed yet clenched jaw from focusing on the movie you find yourself smiling at how pretty he looked with his hair down.

"is it interesting?" 

you blink and jay's looking at you with a small smirk as he leans in to whisper-ask you. 

"huh?" 

"you don't seem to find the movie much more interesting compared to my face," 

"uh— what, i wasn't looking," you say, clearing your throat from being caught red handed. "i just happened to turn to my right side and…" 

"and?" 

"and.. nothing, why are you staring at me?" you ask, turning to face him. 

"me? staring at you?"

"yeah, how would you know i'm staring at you then?" 

"what? i just felt like someone was staring, i turned and loo—"

"see? you were looking!" 

the two of you are stopped by a sleepy jake who groans at the two of you quarreling. 

"if you guys are going to argue, keep it down a little…." he slurs before falling back onto the couch and snoring away in his sleep. 

jay sighs at his friend and then turns back his attention to the TV while you're left looking between jay and a sleeping jake. guessing he's probably past the argument seeing that his eyes are glued to the tv, you just decided to do the same, continue watching the show although your mind was all about jay. 

however as soon as you turn your attention to the tv, your eyes almost widen at the scene ongoing. it just really had to be a steamy scene, especially with the boy beside you, this is a hard take.

taking your bottom lip under your top teeth, you bite on it when the main leads are practically on top of each other, hands all over each other and you try to hide the flustered smile when the actors make out with each other. 

your mind was going frenzy at the way the scene was unfolding with your things clasped against the other, trying to hold in the feeling pooling in the pit of your stomach. 

something about the scene was making you feel stuff, with the boy next to you, there was no way in your mind you had another image playing. 

all unbeknownst to you that jay was watching all along, a smirk placed on his lips at how you were reacting to the scene. he found it— interesting. 

jay couldn't help but think about how mature you've gotten over the time he's been away with your brother at college. he wonders if you're even into this type of stuff considering how famous you are among boys at school and whenever you go. 

he remembers back to the moment he saw you as soon as you got home on the day they arrived back in town, he couldn't stop looking at you. somehow over the months you had gotten taller, your curves perfectly complemented you, your hair has gotten longer, your voice made him so weak in the knees— everything about you changed. 

you are just so gorgeous now he's baffled everytime he sees you. even when you're in your nightwear, face natural— he can't help but think how beautiful you are.

for the better, you've grown into a pretty woman now and that definitely has a totally big effect on him. 

jay knows he's wrong for even thinking and seeing you that way, especially when your brother has been his lifelong best friend, so the betrayment sunghoon would feel if he ever found how jay thinks of you would be awful.

but something in him just can't stop seeing you that way, he's been seeing you as the y/n rather than sunghoon's little sister for the longest time ever.

"you're really looking at me now." 

jay snaps out of this thoughts at you leaning towards him this time, chuckling at his zoned out expression. 

"what?" 

"you should take a picture, it'll last longer." you say, looking away back to the movie where the heated scene is still going on. you're thanking every deity out there that sunghoon is also passed out because he would freak out and change the show asap, saying how you're too innocent to watch it all and stuff.

you're a virgin, it's true but— it's not like you didn't know anything of that. all the fanfics you stayed up reading played a big part in that.

"oh i wish i can, y/n." jay replies, leaning backwards onto the couch and pushes his lower half forward which makes your grip on your thigh harder. 

god, you just really had to find that attractive. 

and you process what he just said. 

"but my phone is charging, too bad right?" 

another statement that makes your jaw drop, immediately amusing jay. you don't find anything to say, absolutely starstruck at his way of making you speechless. 

it's a talent, really. 

"are you enjoying the movie?" 

i guess, but the movie in my head where the maincast playing that scene is the both of us is so much better though, you wish you could say that, but that can end in two ways. 

him agreeing to make it a reality and him storming off calling you a weirdo for seeing him that way. 

"uh, yeah, i guess so…" you say instead. 

"really? how would you rate it?" you're stunned, you don't know if he's playing with you or not because you're too tongue tied to say anything. 

"what are you so flustered for y/n, i'm just asking what do you think about the movie?" 

"we're not done with the movie yet so i—" you're cut off the guard and halfway when jay all of a sudden leans in so close to you, making you shut your eyes in reflex, thinking he's coming in for a kiss. 

it only takes you a few seconds to realize you're probably the biggest idiot on earth right now when you open your eyes and jay is a few inches away from your lips to collide before he pulls away with something in his hand. 

"i can't hear you over the sound," he smirks, shaking the remote in his hand, knowing damn well he's clearly messing with you. 

you scoff and cover your lips with your palm, shaking your head in disbelief. you really didn't think he wasn't going to kiss you at the speed he came at. 

"were you expecting something else?" 

"what? you're being ridiculous— i'm not!" 

"is that so? then why'd you close your eyes?" 

"i didn't—" 

"you're a bad liar," jay sighs, smiling at you being so restless trying to escape whatever he's trying to trap you into. 

"you're so annoying." you scoff, and push the pillow of your lap and get off the couch. however just before you could take a step further, you're being tugged back by your hand and you fall back onto the couch— not really the couch, you sure fell onto someone, something.

"a—" you slap your hand against your mouth, shielding a loud yelp from escaping your mouth incase you'd wake up your brother and his friend. 

you personally don't think it's a very appropriate and friendly sight for your brother to wake up to his best friend and little sister on top of each other, inches away from their lips colliding. 

"what are—" 

"shh," jay places his index finger on top of your lips and his finger relaxes at the plump flesh of it, so soft and tender. 

you don't say anything except for staying on top of him, with his one arm around your waist, holding you in place and his other against your lips, keeping you silent from waking up the rest when jake starts to move around in his place. 

hearts beating against the cages, you both finally sigh of relief when jake's slight snores are heard again. your head falls against jay's slowly and his eyes flicker up to match yours. 

jay's grip against your waist becomes firm making butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach and if you were being honest, it was turning you on at the hand placement and the sudden change in the atmosphere from playful to something more tense. 

your mouth opens but closes back when you find words to say, to address the situation before you embarrass yourself again though from the way he's looking at you it's making you dizzy. 

"may i touch you?" 

"yes," you breathe out.

"you can close your eyes this time." 

your heart flutters at his words before a smile takes upon your lips and his when your eyes closed shut and you feel jay pull you closer for a kiss.

it was finally happening. 

or was it?

"OH MY GOD!" your eyes snaps open at the sudden scream from a voice that sounded like sunghoon's before you practically fly off the couch and land into the ground with the loudest thud. 

so loud that jake himself jolts awake in shock and you're groaning from the sharp pain in your ass while jay jumps off the couch himself. 

"dude what the fuck!" jake gasps, rubbing his face from the sudden thud and scream. 

sunghoon blinks and looks around, realizing that he woke up the entire living room and perhaps your parents too by the way they're rushing down the stairs, worriedly. 

"are you kids alright?! what was that sound!" your mom shrieks, and her gaze immediately falls onto you who's on the ground, rubbing your ass trying to soothe the pain. 

"y/n?! what happened?" 

you sigh, shaking your head at how fucking embarassing this is. first you think jay was gonna kiss you and you got teased for it when he purposely was messing with you, then you both are actually about to kiss and sunghoon screams like there's no tomorrow in his sleep and then you fall to the floor straight on your ass? 

couldn't get any worse to be honest. 

"oh— uh i accidentally fell…" you trail off, grabbing onto your mom that helps you to get onto the couch. 

"what? did you have a nightmare or something!" 

"no, it's sunghoon!" you scoff, pointing to the bleached haired boy who's clearly still in daze, not completely awake from his slumber. 

"park sunghoon? why did you scream like you were getting robbed!" 

"ah mum…." his voice cracks, rubbing his eyes. "i had a nightmare.." 

"you kids are going to be the death of me one day," your mom sighs, shaking her head at the two of her kids, disappointing her even in the middle of the night. 

at least you were saving both yours and jay's ass, except your ass is currently in pain. 

you look over to jay who's staring back at you with a worried look which makes you sigh. 

gosh, you couldn't even get mad at him— how is it fair for him to look cute in a situation where your ass is busted because of him.

"sorry," he mouths to you and you shake your head, looking away and trying to get up but wince in pain.

your parents eventually told you guys to pack it up for the night and head upstairs to sleep, which you guys abided by. jay was clearly trying to apologize to you, hoping you aren't too hurt because he really wasn't trying to hurt you by pushing you away so hard. 

if only it wasn't for his best friend to wake up from a nightmare, he would've finally bagged the kiss from the girl he's been crushing on for a lifetime. 

rolling into your bed, you couldn't help but place yours finger in your lips, ghosting over the place where jay's lips could've been at. 

if only your brother hadn't woken up from a nightmare, you could've kissed the boy you've been trying to court for the summer. 

THIN LINE, that's what you're on at the moment and you think you might go insane from how things are for you and jay. it shouldn't even be this much of a big deal to you but the opposite is what it seems like. 

after the whole almost kissing and you falling right on your ass fiasco, you don't know if things got better or for the worse between you and the boy you have heart eyes bulging out of your eye sockets for. 

what you can definitely say is, whatever tension you both have between the two of you has only gotten more thicker, and stronger. even the slightest eye contact has you biting on your lips to not get swayed by him, and it's the vice versa for him as well. 

jay's trying to keep his cool whenever he's around you, and especially in front of sunghoon. the guilt in him only has been building up the more he wants you. 

it's a few days into the summer and you've barely gotten it together. even wooyoung has tried to help you by 'just get into a room with him and get freaky!' which you think is totally the entire point of it but you barely even kissed— so that's a miss. 

"no seriously, what are you even going to do then?" wooyoung shrikes shaking your shoulder while you just sigh, letting your head fall forward onto his chest. "i'm starting to think this summer will end and you will move out by the time you even get into his pants." 

"and i'm starting to think you aren't into choi san anymore," 

you push yourself off wooyoung softly to look up at karina who's chewing on her gum as she walks into the living room, with a glass of cold iced water in her hand.

you think you might need one too at this point. 

"that's," wooyoung scoffs, crossing his arms together. "never going to happen. i will get that man and w—" 

"i don't want to hear the rest." karina shoves a new piece of gum into his mouth, shutting him up immediately. wooyoung slaps her hand on his face and rolls his face. 

"so, y/n?" 

you look at the two of them, back and forth as they stare back at you. 

"i don't know!" you whine, falling back onto the couch, next to wooyoung who's chewing on his gum loudly that you wish you had a mute button for. 

"girl if you really don't do anything any time soon, you can just kiss your chance with his goodbye!" karina says, shrugging. "you know how popular jay is here, and girls are practically lined up for him— YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING!" 

you sigh once again, this time looking out the large sliding door which leads outside to the pool and bbq area in your backyard. 

"how do i just go up to him and be like 'hey jay, uhm let's kiss! okay, so now uh do you wanna be my summer fling with no attachments like yes let's fuck around for the entire and not catch feelings because im kinda only attracted to you like in that way but like not being mean but catching feelings isn't going to end well in the long run' is that what you want me to say?" 

karina and wooyoung just blink profusely, utterly in shock at your long ass reply— totally stunned. 

"aren't you lying, what do you mean 'im kinda only attracted to you like in that way' what happened to 'hes the only guy that makes me feel things that other guys don't'?" wooyoung leans forward, putting his index finger up to explain his point.

"yeah, don't you like him already? isn't that why you want to fuck him?" 

"you guys make me sound like a whore." you deadpanned. 

"that's besides the point," karina tsks, shaking her head. "y/n, don't you like him already?" 

"i don't." you actually don't know, you think you don't. feeling stuff like these is common when you're attracted to someone, it doesn't specifically have to be romantically. although somewhere in you is saying you're wrong for that.

wooyoung gives karina a look when you deny her question. "so what, are you gonna like him or something?" 

"no," you pause. "i won't, yeah i won't like him in that way. i told you guys, catching feelings for him is not going to end well in the long run." 

"when summer is over, leaving is going to be really bad for us, if we catch feelings for each other— and i don't want that mess, so no." 

wooyoung shakes his head, unsure of you. he knows you're not the type to catch feelings so easily and commit, in fact, you don't ever date anyone. the last time you dated someone it was in eight grade and it only lasted for a matter of time until park sunghoon found out and made you dump him. that's probably where he developed the whole overprotective of my baby sister agenda. 

"okay. if that's what you want, then we won't stop you. but you know, we'll always be here when summer ends and you get your heart broken by accidentally catching feelings for the jay park and having to break off." 

"fuck you that's not going to happen, woo." 

"w—" 

"GUYS." karina stops you both from going into an argument, putting her hands between the two of you. "if y/n is confident she wants this fling without any attachments then let her be so, that's a later thing to worry about. what's important now is," 

"how will you court him?" 

before you could answer her, the front door opens and your brother walks in, taking off his jacket while he's on the phone. 

"alright dude, see you soon."

when he ends the call, you're intrigued by what he's so smiley at. 

"what's the news, you seem to be so happy about it?" you ask, standing up and looking over at your brother whole looks at you with s grin. 

"mom and dad aren't going to be home tonight." 

"and?"

"everyone's about to experience the best party in town after the longest time." 

your jaw drops slack and you stare at him with wide eyes along with the two idiots behind you. 

"you're hosting a party?" 

"yeah. it's gonna be so sick," 

sunghoon says and rushed upstairs in a blink of an eye. karina pulls you around and back onto the couch, a big smile like your brother's on her face. 

"guess what this means?" 

"if san is coming i'm gonna look breedable ton—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 

"geez okay, so what does this mean?" wooyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at the both of you cutting him hallway about his little fantasy of getting fucked by his crush. 

"it's time to court jay park, y/n." 

"WHAT THE FUCK?" jake gasps, almost dropping his beer in the red solo cup he has his fingers wrapped around. 

sunghoon bursts into laughter at his friend being shocked by the results he got from a random tarot reading that a random kid decided to do for free in exchange of a blunt. the boys don't question why the random carried around a deck of cards however, as long as it was entertaining. 

"dude, why are you so surprised your sex drive is so high? as if you're not self aware?" sunghoon asks, laughing at his friend in utter shock. 

"shut the fuck up bro," he whines, shaking his head trying to beat the allegations that's unfortunately true. 

"god i don't even want to think about it, you must be going at it like fuckin' rabbits!" 

"DUDE SHUT UP!" jake shrieks, standing up from the seat and pushing off sunghoon who seems to be having a hard time with trying to hold back his loud laughter over the music. 

"jay, you're not even gonna defend me?" 

the mentioned boy looks at his friends after taking a sip from the beer in his hand as well. "no, you can't deny what's true, right jake?" 

"you guys suck," he scoffs playfully, and walks off leaving the two to themselves surrounded by wasted people and it hasn't even been two hours since the party started. 

sunghoon laughing finally dies down and he takes a deep breath before taking a sip from his cup too, next to his friend. 

"jake's ridiculous man," he sighs, smiling at the scene from before that makes him chuckle again before jay gives him up and he shuts up. 

"alright fine, i'll stop laughing about it!" sunghoon says, putting his hand up in defense which makes jay shake his head, disappointed when sunghoon slaps his hand against his mouth to hold back a laugh. 

"i gotta tell y/n about this, it's so funny like the way he.." sunghoon's words mix along with the blasting music as jay dazes off into a corner when you're mentioned. 

come to think of it, he hasn't seen you around for the night and to be honest, it made him a little bummed about being at the party where you aren't. don't get him wrong, he loves his friends and all, but just drinking and talking to his friend gets boring overtime. 

he wonders if you're in your room, he didn't see you when he got back home earlier, he figured you're out with your friends. but seeing that there's no sight of you walking into the house from the front door, he thinks you're in your room, preferring to stay away from the crowd. 

"dude, you listening?" 

"ah, yeah, yeah…" jay replies, trailing off when he sees sunghoon raise his eyebrows up, a look he gave when he doesn't believe what the other is saying.

"really, man?" 

"sorry, my bad—" 

"you're so out of it ever since we got back in town," sunghoon says, nudging jay's shoulder. "is this really the effect of no pussy?" 

"hoon," jay whines, leaning his head back hoping his friend would leave him alone about him not getting laid. it's the topic he dreaded the most with his friends. 

"nah man, you really need to get laid. seriously, hasn't it been awhile?" 

"sunghoon—" 

"get laid dude, tonight. this party is a perfect chance, get with anyone seriously, i saw a hot chick just now, she seemed like your type—" 

"do you even know what my type is?" your  sister.

"uh, it doesn't matter dude if she can get the job done then it's not a big deal!" 

"this sounds like it's a talk for jake," jay says, chuckling when he waits for sunghoon to retort back with a laugh but when he gets no response, he leans back forward to see sunghoon, jaw slacked on the floor staring right into the crowd.

oh.

"d—" 

"what's she doing here?" 

jay stares back and forth between his friend and the one and only, first love of his. he didn't know she was going to be here, perhaps she was in town too but if she was gonna be here then the boys would've gotten the news earlier. 

it must've been a last minute plan, he figures. 

"fuck." sunghoon breathes out when the girls walks over him. sunghoon takes a swing on the beer, chugging it all down before hastily shoving the solo cup into jay's hand and gets up. 

he grabs the girl's wrist by her hand and disappears into the crowd somewhere. now jay's alone, one probably deep into a random girl adding numbers to his body count and another reconciling with his first love. 

and jay well, he's stranded alone— actually not, because with his gaze falling on you almost immediately as soon as he spots you, it makes him drop the two cups, beer spilling onto the ground. 

that didn't seem to be his priority when you're making your way towards him now.

"hey," 

"hey," jay says, taking in your presence next to him. sunghoon's right, he's been out of it ever since he got back in town. it wasn't because he wasn't getting laid, it was because of you. 

you're making him feel all sorts of things recently,  all these past he's had nothing but just a crush on you. a crush where you see your crush and it makes you feel all giddy and on cloud 9. but recently, it's something different.

something that makes him want you, so bad that he can't imagine you being someone else's. someone that irks up something in his when he sees you, wanting to push you against the wall and take you just right there. 

"i didn't know you'd be here tonight," 

"is it not my house?" 

"yeah but— you know i didn't mean it that way, obviously it's you—" 

"jay, i'm just messing with you, relax," you giggle, waving your hand at his face and jay thinks it's the prettiest sound he's ever heard. he's so whipped and it isn't going to end well, especially if sunghoon finds out his own friend knowing how he is with guys around his sister. 

jay gives you a smile and gets up from his seat before putting his hand out. 

"let's go get drinks." 

"I just got here!" you whine, leaning back onto the couch and your dress hikes up your thigh, exposing more skin and he looks away, trying to not do the one thing he promised himself to not do.

get hard because of you and it's really hard for him right now because you really just had to wear the prettiest dress showing off all your curves so perfectly, and the way your legs looked in it, god you're making him go crazy. 

"come on," he says, taking your hand in his and pulling you on your feet, you hold onto him with a smile and head over to the kitchen with him. 

the both of you walked into the kitchen and passed through the crowd of people and you were secretly glad you couldn't find sunghoon in sight because he'd so crazy at the sight of you and jay holding hands.

"anything in mind?" 

you shake your head as you look over the drinks on the aisle. most of them were alcohol, and you weren't really that big fan of it. it's just, okay. 

"is coke okay?"

"yeah," 

jay pours coke for you and him, and then hands you the cup. you take a sip from it and the fuzzy feelings send chills down your throat. 

"i like your dress." 

his comment makes your cheeks flushed and your heart skip. right, good thing he did because you spent about hours to find the perfect dress, just for him.

"thank you, jay." 

he gives you a smile, and moves closer. "your hair too, and your eye makeup, it's pretty." 

internally screaming WHAT THE FUCKKKKSNDNFMF while keeping your cool with just blushing crazily if the lights weren't dim, you'd look as red as a tomato. 

"thank you, again, jay." you chuckle, and give him the smile you try to hold back from how flustered he was making you with his compliments..

"you got so pretty over the months, you've always been pretty but, today, you're so gorgeous."

FUCOSKDKF WHYS THRUCOKKKK WHAT IS THE DOINNNGGGGGG GODDDDD FUCKEKKEKFKF WHATHRUCCKKKKSKNEND DIW HE DRUNK IS HE DIRINK HELLOOOO SEND HELSPPPS RIHHT NOWWWWWWWWWW.

"gosh—" you breathe out, giggling as you lean in and place your head on his shoulder, hiding away the really flustered expression you had on. "thank you for the compliments, i appreciate it, jay, really." 

he doesn't say anything except for just chuckling and then drinking his coke. with the last swing of coke, he places the cup down when you're done as well. 

you both just look around in silence, the loud music blasting through the entire house silencing out the chatting in the crowd. 

"do—" you speak up, looking at up. he looks back at you curiously, pupils dilated with his eyebrows furrowed and god, he was making you nervous. "do you wanna go somewhere else?" 

"are you uncomfortable, is eve—" 

"ah, uhm, i just— it's too loud in here, i can't focus on you." 

jay tries to not gasp at your words that make his heart skip and mind go frenzy. 

"oh, uh, sure." he says and you give him a smile before taking his hand in yours, fingers intertwined and pulling him away. your brother was still nowhere in sight and you couldn't thank him enough for that. 

hands in each other, you both go up the stairs and jay figures you're taking him to your room when you make a swift left through the corridor and he's right when you unlock the door to your room. 

he walks in behind you and when you shut the door and lock it, he just stares at you confused. he doesn't have any plans for anything, but it's good if sunghoon just barges in out of nowhere. in his entirety of being sunghoon's best friend and being over at your house, he sure knows sunghoon has a habit for not knocking when he walks into your room.

you turn around to see jay looking over you, with a small smile and a confused look. 

"oh, you should take a seat!" 

you say, and push him towards the edge of your bed by your desk. he takes a seat and you sit infront of him on your chair from your desk.

it's a little awkward at first but jay clears the air by looking around your room. he barely comes in here, it's a restricted zone in your home, sunghoon never allows anyone in here, and you don't allow anyone except for your friends. 

he examines the room and it's not that different from what he had imagined, it just screams you. other than the interiors and your room in white, there's a few decos that attract him attention. the wall of pictures and polaroids of you and your friends and family. 

there's childhood pictures of you and sunghoon on the wall where you both are dressed up as a lion and tiger, smiling brightly at the camera in complete cuteness.

jay smiles at how cute you are and how ridiculous sunghoon looks, if he ever got a hold of this, sunghoon would never hear the end of jay teasing him. 

then he notices a poster— of Jungkook from BTS. and then a few albums stacked under it and a lightstick, then a cooky pillow on your bed. wow, he figures you might be a fan of BTS by the looks of it.

"so, you like jungkook?" 

you look up almost immediately at the mention of the love of your life. "yes?! is that even a question?"

jay smiles at how cute you are when you're so interested in the topic he's discussing. 

"wow, so much?" 

"he's literally my lover, it's a given that i like him that much." you say, giggling as you slump back into your seat. "do you, like him?" 

"i guess you can say so, i have a few of their songs in my playlist," jay says, chuckling when you gasp. "do you have a few suggestions that you think i can add to my playlist?" 

"thanks for asking, i indeed do!" you say, smiling and jay laughs, lensing forward. he pulls the chair closer to the bed catching you by surprise, but you're flustered at how close you both are now, knees against each other and giggling. 

"should we get started then?" you ask, smirking at jay who gives you an ecstatic laugh and then continues to hear you out. 

and you both spent the rest of the night, talking about the things you both enjoy, and find out that you two have a lot in common. the thought of courting him honestly just disappears into the back of your mind, goes forgotten.

by the end of it, jay says he should leave, sunghoon would be finding for him (which he didn't because he was missing), and you heavy heartedly had to say goodbye, and a see you later. 

but before he left you gave him a small peck on his cheek that neither of you expected to happen but the small peck made the entire night for the both of you that even then next morning when your friends were crying why weren't you both deep inches in each other, you couldn't get the blushing away because of the peck. 

"the way these two could have been finally kissing but they were talking about y/n's stupid attraction for jungkook." wooyoung sighs, shaking his head.

you slam his head with a knock that has him screaming back at you for knocking him but you scoff, "fuck you, my love for jungkook is not stupid!" 

"okay can you both calm down—" you cut off karina but give her an attitude as well. 

"you guys shouldn't even be having this tantrum, when you guys promised to show up but y'all weren't even there!"

the rest of them go silent at your statement, clearly making him feel guilty. 

"uhm so anyways!" wooyoung says, putting his hand up. "there's a party tonight, again."

"im not going anywhere—"

"i never said we're going" 

"you were about to rig—" 

"oh my god, you guys need to stop fighting!" seeun yells, putting her hands out to stop both karina and wooyoung fighting. you slump into the couch, shaking your head at your friends. 

"so what now? what are we going to do about her, at this rate summer is gonna end." wooyoung says, shrugging. 

"nothing, i'll figure out something or fuck that— you guys should probably leave, didn't you say you're heading out for dinner?" you ask, looking over at karina. she gasp when she realises it's time for her dinner with her parents, so she hurries out of the door with a goodbye to everyone. 

not long after karina's departure, wooyoung and seeun also leave, bidding you goodbye and leaving you alone in your house, sweaty from the heatwave outside. 

it's so unbelievably hot, a thin layer of sweat covered on your skin despite wearing a spaghetti strap and shorts. you opted for the outifts that would help you with the heatwave, but the warmth is still the same, you're still sweating. 

and at times like this, ice cream will always be a saviour. you head over into your kitchen, opening the refrigerator and then the freezer to get out the ice cream container, feeling it heavy and your fingers getting numb at the coldness. 

setting it on the aisle, you open the cover and heart eyes basically bulge out of your eye sockets at how glorifying the ice cream looked like in this hot weather. nothing more can you ask for. 

you grab a spoon and stab it into the ice cream, ready to dig in but the spoon falls out of your hand and a faint crescent mark is formed on the top layer of the ice cream.

"fuck…." you sigh, realising it's going to take awhile to defrost. regardless you just kept on poking the ice cream with the steel spoon, grunting when your hand freezes and wrist hurts. 

"ah…" you whine, frustrated and tired, and most importantly sweaty. 

"uhm, am i interrupting something…?" 

you look up from the ice cream tub to see jake peeking into the kitchen, looking at you confused and a sly smirk on his lips. 

"no?" you reply, gripping onto the spoon again when your hand is ready to stab the ice cream once again. 

"it sounded like something," he says, shrugging as he approaches you. "like what, jake?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. 

"you wanna know, y/n?" 

"she doesn't," a voice speaks up and you see jay leaning against the door frame, staring at the two of you like he wants to knock jake's head. "pretty sunghoon doesn't want to either if he finds out what you're doing,"

jake rolls his eyes at jay for cockblocking him. "chill out dude, it's just a joke." 

before jay could do anything, you cut the two of them off and asked jake, "are you gonna tell me what's something or do i need to knock you out with this spoon?" 

"it sounded like you were finally getting dicked down." 

"WHAT?" you shriek and slap your hand against your mouth, looking back and forth at the double Js. 

jay kicks jake in his calf, making the poor boy cry out in agony at the pain. "dude what the fuck!"

"it's just a joke!" he says, smirking at the other and a smile grows on your lips when you see the bigger picture.

is he really….?

jake puts up a middle finger at his friend before turning to you. "but if you ever want to get dicked down, you have my n— okay fine! for god's fucking sake dude!" jake's sentence is short lived when jay threatens to kick him in the exact spot one more time to make him leave. 

limping off to the living room to wait for sunghoon to be back from his disappearance, the two of you are the only ones in the kitchen. 

the smile you're holding back so much grows even more when jay turns to you, taking the spoon out from your hand and then scoops the now melting ice cream, and pushes you aside. 

"what are you doing?" you ask him, with a sly smile on your face as you lean forward on the aisle, looking at him while he does the ice cream scooping. 

"scooping the ice cream for you?" 

"why? i can do it myself," 

"i know you can," jay says, and puts the spoon down when he's done. "i just don't want jake to say that shit again." 

"what? that i sound like i'm getting dicked down?" jay's stare immediately meets yours when you ask him the question, sending chills down your spine.

"yes," he admits. "is that a problem?" 

"why does it bother you if jake thinks i'm getting dicked down? or if he's the one fucking me down— in fact he even said 'finally getting dicked down?' what's that supposed to mean, i've been dicked down before, i have been touched before so why does it bother you two!" 

"because it does." 

"exactly, who does it bother you, jay?" you ask him, straightening your back and moving closer to jay who's staring at you with the most annoyed expression. he doesn't ever look like this unless he's jealous. 

unless he is….

"it bothers me because i don't like people taking what's mine," 

you don't know how to react, you've only ever read this in those smutty heated romance novels and movies, now that it's happening to you, you finally understand why those main leads go frozen.

though you have one thing to say.

"i'm not yours, jay." 

"you've been mine since day one," he says, pushing backwards towards the wall. "and i don't want to hear about anyone that has ever touched you before me, if it isn't clear yet." 

trapping you between the wall, he grips on your waist, and another on the side of your head while he looks down on you. if he wasn't so annoyed right now, he would've just called you unbelievably cute from how you're staring up at him with those starry eyes. 

"the moment you've let me touch you, you were mine." he says, and you were silently thanking every deity out there jay got jealous because of jake and you've finally gotten this chance. 

but on a normal day, if this wasn't jay saying this, you would've gagged at the cheesy line, so extremely corny as if it's out of some fanfiction that someone in their young adult phase write.

you take his hand off the wall next to you and place it on your waist, and then look up at him. 

"touch me." 

that was all it took for jay to pull you in and connect his lips with yours. he doesn't know what he was expecting but what you gave him was beyond the expectations. 

it was truly amazing. fireworks erupting, butterflies going crazy in the pit of your stomachs, funny feelings in your check and minds frenzy, the kiss was fucking hot. 

you're pressing against him with your back on the wall as your back arched slightly when your hips rut against his at your submission. if someone had told you this would've happened to you a long time ago, you would've never believed them. 

before you could slip your hands under his shirt, his hand beats you to it when you feel his warm hand against your skin under the back of your top which makes you gasp slightly. jay takes that opportunity to bite your bottom slightly, causing you to accidentally moan.  

"dude, have you seen my sister?" 

"she's in the kitchen with jay," 

your eyes snap open at the footsteps nearing the kitchen making you push jay away as quick as you could, catching him by surprise. 

"fuck," you pant, both from shock, panic and out of breath from kissing jay. "s-sunghoon!" you gasp, pointing at the kitchen and jay finally realises what's going on. 

standing across from you in the opposite of the kitchen, jay and you both fix your hair, straightening out your clothes and trying to make sure your faces don't look too flustered from the make out session. 

sunghoon finally walks into the kitchen and looks at you wide eyed as if he'd actually caught the two of you red handed. he points his finger at you and it makes your soul leave your body just at the thought of him catching you both, until he speaks up. 

"y/n." he says, and stares at you. "what do girls like on their actual first dates?" 

jay and you let out a sigh of relief when sunghoon asks something else that isn't related to what you both had feared for. 

"sunghoon, are you kidding me?" 

"what? i'm asking you a question what do g—" 

"is that why you ran all the way here for?" you scoff, crossing your arms and annoyed at the thought of how you and jay could've gone further than just a kiss. 

"what's wrong with that? you're acting like i caught you my best friend smooching off each others face," sunghoon deadpans you swore you never froze so quickly ever. good thing, sunghoon was always never a quick witted child, so your reactions wasn't too obvious for him though it would've been for any normal person. 

"so what do girls like on actual first dates?" 

before you could say anything, sunghoon cuts you off real quick. 

"wait," he stops, and clutches his crotch which makes you glare at him in disgust. "i need to piss, don't go anywhere, stay here" 

with that, he leaves you and jay in the kitchen and you turn to look at him, cheeks flustered and hearts beating again. 

"i'm not done with you yet," jay says and leaves the kitchen after giving you a eyebrow raise which makes you want to fall to the ground if it wasn't the wall you were leaning into. 

the ice cream he scooped for you long forgotten in the kitchen when you're touching your lips again, this time, with a bright smile and a heartwarming feeling lingering in the air only before your brother came back. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL? WHAT THE FUCK!" 

yup, those were the very expected reactions you expected from your friends when you told them the big news! 

"so is this like a joke or are you actually being for real?" wooyoung asks, again but this time after spitting out his drink and gaining weird looks from the other people around you guys in the diner. 

"yes wooyoung. i am being for real, what does it take for you to believe me?" you ask, sighing at him for asking you the same question again and again out of disbelief. 

honestly you couldn't blame him, when you woke up the next morning, you were so dazed that you thought you were dreaming until you got a smirk from jay when you caught him walking out of the bathroom in the hallway shirtless with a towel around his neck. 

and god did it make your pussy throb, maybe you just had issues. 

"i don't know, maybe demonstrate it again with your lover boy?" you gasp at wooyoung's absurd comment, shooting him a glare. 

"so, where do you guys go from here? any talking or just straight up heated sex?" karina asks and you're speechless. 

sometimes you wished your friends had filters whenever something came out of their mouths. 

"uhm, i don't know. we just kissed and he said he's not done with me yet so that question, the answer is only with him." you say, shaking your head before taking a sip from your smoothie. 

"well, i'm hoping you get dicked down finally. like it's been years." 

you roll your eyes at wooyoung, "now you sound like jake and," you pause. "it hasn't been years, seriously the last time was like two years ago?" 

"and it wasn't even a proper dicked down, y/n" wooyoung chuckles but stops himself when you glare at him, again!

"i was still dicked down." 

"uhm, the most you guys did was him getting his dick in you but freaking out because he literally pulled out and came even before he moved— so, sure if that counts." 

karina and you stare at wooyoung in absolute disgust and awe. 

"why the fuck do you even remember that?" karina asks, gagging at the memory of you telling them with tears streaming down your face two years ago, when the guy that liked you, which you decided to give a chance to. 

worst mistake of your life, if you had to admit.

"stop, he's so weird for that i'm glad i cut him off and sunghoon literally got detention and a black eye for almost beating the shit out of him." you say, rubbing your temple at the memory.

you remember how fuelled your brother was when he found out the kid made you cry, now you're thinking how he's going to react if he ever finds out that you and jay made out. 

his own sister and bestfriend going behind his back— but again, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

"talking about sunghoon, i heard a thing about jay." karina speaks up, which perks your attention from your thoughts. 

"what does y/n’s loverboy has to do with her brother?" 

"is he not his bestfriend, you fucking idiot?" 

"oh yeah, damn sorry my bad!" 

"rina, what did you hear about him?" you ask, ignoring the small quarreling between the both of them which makes the two bite their lips and throw a look at each other. 

"guys," you whine, a smile taking over your lips when you realize they're teasing you for being so eager to know about jay. 

"fine, i was saying i heard a thing from someone where they said," karina says, leaning in. "they said that only jay out of the 02z has never let anyone into his racing car," 

"what type of rumor is that?" wooyoung asks, shaking his head, confused why would that be an issue in the first place. 

"i guess it means, no one has ever been in there so it probably means none of his flings or any romantic relationship he has ever had with anyone is that serious, considering even any of his past exes have even been in his car?" 

"oh," wooyoung replies, leaning backwards. "what about the 02z?" 

"i don't know, maybe they have maybe they haven't either, but i heard that he doesn't let anyone into his car." she says, and you nod, realizing that sunghoon has once mentioned it but you've never been interested in it. 

"y/n, you think you can beat that rumor?" 

"what?" you laugh, "what does that have to do with me?" 

"uhm, everything? sometimes you're just so dense." 

"you're the one that's stupid here?" you scoff, glaring at wooyoung which he glares back at for because you called him stupid. 

"god, do you guys EVER stop fighting?" you look at seeun next to you, and shut up immediately. you're only realizing she's been silent the entire time you guys got here. 

you don't ask her anything though, after her scolding you guys, the two of them went back to teasing you about jay and the night just ended like that which led to you coming back home late, after karina dropped you off. 

when you got back, the house was quite silent except for the small bickering coming from sunghoon's room. you just decided to slip back into your room but just before you could, you stopped when you heated something that irked you up.

"dude, she just texted me that she's back in town," you heard jake say, but you couldn't see anything which you chose to assume that he was showing his phone when they all went silent. 

"oh my god!" you hear sunghoon gasp, and there's a small silence before you hear jake and sunghoon cheer. 

"dude holy shit, it's been awhile, we should all like— gather up and have a reunion or something." jake says. "what about a party after the next race." 

jay groans and disagrees with the rest. 

"are you guys not sick of these parties, the entire summer is gonna be wasted away with just parties, i gotta go visit my parents soon. " he says and you hear shuffling. 

"summer is all about partying and having fun man— are you not excited to see mai again? it's been like a few years." 

"why should i be exited to see her, again?"

mai, it sounds familiar but you don't choose to ponder about it until jake asks jay something.

"dude, why aren't you? your hot first love is finally back in town again and you're not even existed for a possible best fuck again?" 

for some reason, your heart sinks at the question. you know it shouldn't but it does and it makes you feel so— weird. like a disappointed feeling grows in you. 

"she's not my first love, i never even liked her. "

"you dated her, does that not mean anything? and even if she wasn't yours, you were still his. you guys are still the talk of the town!" 

you don't listen to the conversation anymore, having a small feeling in you that if you listened further the weird feeling in you would even get worse.

you're not sure why such a feeling is even hurried in you and why you're so sad about it when the most you've both done is just make out. it can totally mean nothing, and a summer fling is not even that big of a deal. 

so just taking a quick shower and then falling asleep seemed to be a better option than to overthink and hurt your own feelings. 

the next morning was quite tiring since you couldn't really get much sleep the night before. you headed down for breakfast and got back upstairs before you could bump into anyone after remembering the conversation between the boys from the night earlier. 

the rest of the day went by after you proceed to occupy yourself with catching up on jungkook updates than worry about jay and whoever mai was.

and then more days went by and it's been a complete week since you even saw any of them which made the entire conversation thing go forgotten by you. 

so when wooyoung, karina and seeun dragged you to a party where you absolutely didn't know jay and his friends were at, you were stunned to see him in the circle of the room everyone was gathered in to play hide and seek. 

and of course, you just had to get a seat next to him after wooyoung and karina forcefully pushed you to the absolute opposite of where they sat. 

"hey," 

you turn to look at him, a smile already on your lips sure that it's mostly the alcohol in your system that's working. you didn't know what convinced you to get drunk tonight, maybe it was wooyoung's influence or anything but you were glad you're still sober enough to absorb everything that's going on. 

"hey," you reply back and jay smiles at you, moving closer to you. 

"sunghoon is right next to you." he is three seats away. 

"so?" 

you don't reply anything back when the host announces that sunghoon is the seeker along with another girl who seemed to be overjoyed she was going to be the seeker which sunghoon. 

"you will be given approximately two to three minutes to hide before sunghoon and seri starts seeking!" the host announces and everyone gets up from their seats, leaving their cups in the room by their seats. 

you mouth at wooyoung and karina to wait for you but they both turned away, pretending to have not seen that. you couldn't resort to seeun either, she wasn't even in the game, because she said she'd rather just talk to someone else than join the fun.

"and the game starts…… now!" 

you rush out of the room along with everyone, most of them chose to hide downstairs so you chose upstairs would be easier to hide since a few spots would be vacant. 

"why are you following me?" 

you turn around with your arms crossed, looking at a jay who obviously seemed to be following behind you but with his nonchalant look and hands tucked in his leather jacket, it was too obvious. 

"i'm not." 

"you are!" 

"i'm not, y/n." 

"whatever," you shrug off and run off into a room when jay chases after you. when you guess he isn't catching up with you anymore, you run into an empty room which you assume it's someone's bedroom. 

obviously hiding under the bed would be a stupid idea, but when you glanced at the watch on your wrist, you realise the three minutes were about to be over. 

so you took an even more stupid idea, you hid yourself inside the closet but it was hidden in the back of the room, so if the seeker wasn't too stupid, like your brother— then you'd be safe. 

as soon as you shut the door close, the door opens back and someone jumps into the closet next to you, shutting it close. 

"w—" 

"don't yell at me!" you realise it's jay and you calm down, but still mad that he followed you to your hiding spot. now you're both gonna be found.

"why are you here! this is my hiding spot!" you hiss a him, a pout on your lips but it was too dim to be noticed. 

"you don't own this spot! i'm allowed to hide here too!" jay hisses back, frowning at you yelling at him. whisper-yelling more likely. 

"i came here first!" 

"okay and?" 

"fine i'll leave then!" you move to open the door but jay stops you with holding your wrist, catching you for the guard. 

"what are you doing! you'll get caught if you leave now and when you do you'll have to do the punishment, you'll black out y/n!" 

"h—" you stop your sentence midway when you hear a loud yell echo throughout the house. 

"THE SEEKING HAS NOW BEGUN."

you both freeze in your spot and jay moves in closer so when the seeker opens the closet door, he isn't the first thing they find. 

so close that he is practically on top of you. if he looked down, he could see your entire cleavage from the low cut of the top you had on. 

which he did when he accidentally looked down but your head fell against his chest as you were heaving for breath from the running earlier. biting his lips he prays you don't feel the growing hardness between his thighs in the tight space. 

you're not too oblivious either, it's clear to you that you're both hidden in the tight space where you're both practically on top of each other. and when your head falls against his chest, you could feel his abdomen that you try so hard to not make another heartbeat happen that isn't your heart. 

the same situation reminds you of the situation when you and jay ate ramen together, in the kitchen, that night. 

you try to find something to focus on in the darkness that now you can see around in after your eyes adjusted to the darkness, to distract yourself from the fact you're basically inches close to the guy you just made out with a week ago. 

before you could do anything else, the room door bursts open and you hear footsteps around the room which makes you and jay look at each other frightened. 

"god, where the fuck is everyone?" 

fuck, why does it have to be sunghoon?

jay holds you closer to hide further, afraid sunghoon might open the closet door and be welcomed with his best friend and sister hugging like there's no tomorrow if he looked more in. 

"ugh, i'm already wasted enough—" his voice is cut when the door shuts which you both assume that he left the room when his footsteps also faded away.

you've never been more relieved that sunghoon is drunk for once, glad that it didn't occur to him that he should check the closet before he left. 

"you can let go of me, now" you say, but it sounded more like a whisper at how small it came out than you intended to. 

but just as you said that your head fell back and almost hit the closet's wall if it wasn't for jay having his hand behind your head, protecting it than your head hitting it. 

your heart for some reason flutters when you realise he must've had it there for a while now since you didn't feel his arm move when you leaned back. 

"i think it's better if i hold you until the game is over," he says, and you could feel his breath fanning over your neck when he spoke. "it's pretty small here, you could hurt yourself again." 

you bite your lips, holding back a squeal. he probably watches dramas or reads romance novels, where the fuck did he learn to speak like this, gosh!

and luck didn't seem to be on your side when you try to lean back, again but a hanger in the box behind your back pokes you right on your lower back, just right below where jay was holding you at. 

"fuck!" you whine out, unexpectedly loud which catches jay by surprise. 

"shit, did you hurt yourself?" you didn't hear the 'i told you so' tone when he asked you that, instead you sensed he was actually worried from the tone he asked you in. 

"uhm— yeah," you admit, embarrassed that you just had to hurt yourself as soon as jay said that. 

"just stay still," he whispers and his hand goes down to where you got jabbed at. "does it hurt here?" 

your eyes widen when his hand accidentally slides past the slope of your ass but still lands right above it, perfectly on the hurting spot. 

"yeah," you say, nodding slowly and jay just rubs over it, soothing out the pain for you. eventually it leaves sooner than you expected but you don't say anything, you just liked the feeling of jay touching you so you just left that at it. 

a few minutes go by and you're both bored out of your mind, wondering if anyone was ever even found but too scared to leave the tiny spot in case you'd both lose.

the space was already small to begin with so sticking against each other wasn't really helping with the tenparture too. at this rate you were beginning to sweat and it was bothering you.

"ugh, it's so fucking hot in here— im sweating." you whine, softly making sure to not make too much sound as you turn around but jay stops you by clutching you around your waist. 

"don't move." 

"what? why?" 

"just don't move!" he hisses at you, leaving you confused as to why he isn't letting you move. 

"jay, it's hot i'm literally sweating," 

"i know— just, just don't move." he says, holding you in place but you're too stubborn for that. sighing, you move around anyway which makes your back meet his front and you immediately find out why he stopped you from moving. 

you hear jay mutter a string of cuss words under his breath when something hard practically pokes at your lower back, just right next to the spot where you got jabbed earlier. 

"i told you not to move, y/n. you never listen," 

"uhm, sorry i— i didn't know," you say, unsure of how to address the situation. was he seriously hard over the fact you're practically sticking on him, or because of how small the closet is. 

you're not sure, but what's clear is he's definitely hard because of you and boy, were you having a field day because of it. 

deciding to run with it, you purposely throw your head back, onto his shoulder and then shoot a short smirk his way which he's too distracted on his hardness to realise. you were already slightly intoxicated, but if you were to blame what made you act up now it'll definitely do wonders. 

the intoxicating thoughts just made things worse in your case, the lewd thoughts of how your ass was practically in between jay's crotch is beyond you, it honestly felt like you were dreaming. 

you shift slightly which jay immediately holds you back for, "stop moving y/n, please " 

oh, he was willing to beg? that's great!

you move your body backwards even more, urging to push him to his limits. exactly what you needed and wanted from him, is to snap. 

"y/n, stop it." 

"i'm not doing anything!" 

"you know what you're doing, you're not dumb." 

"i don't know what you're talk—" 

he spins you around in a swift, and holds you tightly, that you're unable to move around in. 

"do it one more time, and i won't be able to hold myself back." 

a smirk grows on your lips when you realize you've pushed the right button indeed, he's finally snapped. 

"i'm not asking you to." 

none of you have to say anything anymore for him to pull you in and your both lips colliding onto each other's, moving against each other. jay licked your bottom lip, humming at the taste of your lip balm, cherry, good choice. 

you wrap your arms around his neck as he slides his arm around your waist and another explores your body, shamelessly. you weren't going to lie if you say your panties weren't soaked. 

whatever effect jay had on you seemed to be sickening because of how bad you're down for him. 

he pulls away by surprise, bursting the closet door open and dragging you out by your arm. lips swollen, hair messed up and dazed looks on your faces, he pushes you against the door, making sure to not hurt you. 

trapping you between his hold, jay locks the door in a swift and then turns to focus on you. 

"i said i wouldn't be able to hold myself back," he breathes and if it wasn't for your self control, you would've come there itself from the way he's looking at you while catching his breath. 

"and, i told you i wasn't done with you yet." 

you open your mouth to say something, to finalize it all and pull jay by shirt back into the kiss again, until the door bursts open despite the fact you both thought jay had locked it. 

in a second, jay pushes you behind the door and stands before it when the person who walked in sees him standing there. 

"dude what the fuck, we thought you left!" 

you sigh in relief when you hear jake's voice, thanking the god's it wasn't your brother again. but the annoyed feeling takes over when you realiszd he just fucked up your chance of getting railed by his bestfriend, after all the pent up tension and the movie material scenes— all to waste, just like that!

"oh, uhm— no, i didn't! what? so is the game over?" jay stutters and you smile at the thought of him getting flustered and caught red handed. 

"yeah b— why are you flustered?" 

jay starts to laugh, shaking his head. "nothing dude, just surprised you walked in when i was about to head out." 

you see jay's gaze fall on you and then back to jake, who you couldn't really see from the door blocking your sight. 

"nah, that's too….. fishy— oh my god. wait, don't tell me," jake gasps, and then looks around frantically. your eyes widens and you immediately cover your mouth from any sound escaping as your heart rate picks up. "don't tell me you got someone in here," 

jay immediately pushes him out the door, and laughs in the most awkward way you've ever heard someone laugh in, "you're tripping, let's get outta here. at least we didn't lose hahahaha!" 

shoving his best friend out of the door, jay mouths a 'sorry' at you and then leaves in a second. you scoff at what had just happened, raging the inner demon in you. 

this is the second time you've both got cockblocked, you're starting to wonder when were you both ever going to even get together, but by the looks of it— it's probably never going to happen. 

"fuck," you sigh, shaking your head in dissapointment before walking out. you head down the stairs and spot jay with sunghoon and jake, too engulfed in their conversations to even bother about their surroundings. 

you look around for your friends but no one is nowhere to be found, you're guessing either they are passed out somewhere or already back home, enjoying peace instead of this crowded place smelling like sex in the air and pure alcohol. 

you try to pass by a group of people, sweaty bodies against each other and you try to not scrunch up your face in disgust, but in the midst of that, you accidentally bump past someone, immediately making them knock over their drink. 

"holy shit, oh my god— i'm sorry!" you gasp, immediately crouching down to pick up the cup and bite your lip as you examine the carpeted floor being coated in whatever the drink they had previously in the now emptied cup. 

"wait, no it's my fault, i'm sorry i wasn't watching where i was going!" 

for some reason you recognized the voice all too well, and then you look up and you're completely lost at words. 

what the fuck was lee heeseung doing here?

your mouth falls open and so does his. 

"o-oh my god, Y/N?" he chuckles, furrowing his eyebrows as he points his finger at you in confusion. 

"heeseung? what are you doing here?" you ask, still staring at him in shock. no, but you were actually stunned because what's he doing here instead of being at NYU with his girlfriend? 

"that's an interesting way to ask how have you been? thanks for asking, i'm great!" he laughs, shaking his head slightly. 

"oh uh— my bad!" you grimace, and immediately apologizing at your rude manners. the alcohol in your system isn't doing wonders anymore, not much justice either. 

heeseung chuckles at your mistake, giving you a bright smile that complimented his perfect 32's, the braces he had back then showing the results so greatly. 

"oh my, where are my manners? here," heeseung says, realizing you're both still on the ground before he puts out his hand for you and you gladly take it as you both get up. 

"i'm so sorry— for the drink. i wasn't seeing where i was going, a little tipsy too, so it was completely my fault." you blabber which heeseung finds cute for his liking. 

"no y/n, don't dwell on it. it's my fault as well for being too careless, so don't sweat it!" 

you smile at him, and then the both of you laugh at the silence being too awkward all of a sudden. 

"you should get a refill, if you'd like?" you say, pointing at the cup he's now holding, and then to the kitchen behind your back. 

"yeah, sure!" 

the two of you walk over to the kitchen and you help heeseung with his drink as an apology for spilling it which he reassures you is really fine. 

"so, you're back in town for the semester as well?" you ask heeseung, watching him gulp down the first sip and then he gives you a short smile before answering. 

"actually, i just graduated." 

"oh my god, really? that's great news, congrats!" 

"thanks, y/n." he says, smiling at you sheepishly. "i'll be starting my first residency in about a month at a university hospital back in New York." 

"oh i see, that's really great." you say, nodding. 

"and what about your girlfriend? i haven't gotten a marriage invitation from you guys, still waiting for it!" you laugh jokingly but heeseung deadpans in your face making you stop almost in a heartbeat. 

"we're not seeing each other anymore." 

your silence happens to be too deafening so heeseung chuckles in order to break it. he puts his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb on your hand to assure you not to worry about it. 

"it's fine, we never really saw it coming as well, so it's pretty much a shock to everyone who found out…." 

you just nod, chuckling awkwardly like jay did earlier. "i'm sorry for.." you trail off not knowing to show your condolences. 

it wasn't like she or heeseung lost feelings for him or something, both of them would be fucking crazy to do that. 

"it's fine. things fell out between us, i think she lost feelings along the w—" 

your loud gasp cuts heeseung halfway, leaving him hanging staring at you in shock. your eyes widens when you realize you gasped out loudly, which you gasp at once again. 

"oh my god— fuck," you sigh, apologizing profusely at heeseung. you were _really_ embarrassing yourself at this point, you didn't know how worse it was going to get after this. 

"i'm guessing you're really….. shocked huh?" heeseung laughs and you shake your head in embarrassment. 

how would you have known that your guess would've been true. so, heeseung's ex is indeed fucking crazy. 

"how can she? i mean, you're everyone's dream guy so how did she even…" you ask, feeling sorry for heeseung who's before you. 

you're right however, heeseung had always been everyone's dream guy. an old friend of yours and your brother's, an ex senior from your school as well. 

it's no surprise that everyone loved him, the same type of love that everyone loves your brother like, but more. heeseung was and has always been the blueprint, everyone's it boy. 

he lacks almost nothing, gorgeous looks, a smart brain that got him into NYU with a scholarship, he's loaded enough to afford a Porsche each month, and all other stuff that everyone admires him so much for. 

you did admire him at one point too, maybe even had a teeny tiny crush on him for the time he danced with you at a birthday party when your supposed partner was supposed to but he was too busy smashing his face in another girl's face.

he stepped up to you and told you he'd dance with you, with the dreamiest smile on his face and the most charming persona enough to have hooked under his spell. 

until she came into the picture and they hit off like a perfect match. the high school sweethearts that moved to college together and everyone was expecting them to get married. 

"it happens, when you're too used to someone you eventually get tired of them, no matter how much you love them— it gets boring and it doesn't give you the very same spark it does when it's fresh and brand new."

"but then again, i don't think i can ever move on from something that was never supposed to end."  

(a/n : YESSSS AFTERGLOW HEESEUNG CAMEO!!!!!)

his voice sounds dull, you feel sorry for him. the sigh he lets out is filled with so much agony and heartbreak you're guessing he's not over it. who would be, decades worth of love and time all wasted over his past lover losing feelings for him, such a loss. 

"heeseung… i'm sorry for that, really. you deserve so much better than that." you say, this time you rub your finger over his hand, comforting him. 

"she had always been the better, but i guess— for her to lose feelings, i was probably never the better for her." 

you sigh at his misery, just hoping he doesn't feel too down for the rest of the night. 

"it's in the past, things will get better for you heeseung, it's not the end of the world. you're still young, there's still more beautiful things waiting to bloom for you!" 

heeseung chuckles slightly, smiling at you as he looks up at you with the same dreamy eyes he gave you the first time he had you hooked. 

"you're so wise. it's lovely." he smiles. "i almost forgot, you look great tonight! it's really been awhile, you've gotten more beautiful over the years." 

you giggle, shaking your head. "thank you heeseung, the same goes for you too!" 

heeseung himself had definitely gotten more handsome over the years, the only downside is medical school must've played a big role in the eye bags under his eyes but it's really not too noticeable.

"oh, _i_ almost forgot, does sunghoon know you're back?" 

"how can he not? he was so overjoyed to see me back, i missed him more than i thought," heeseung says, and then looking over past the crowd to the 02z, they're still not moved, still talking but the only difference is jay is seated in the middle staring right back at the two of you with daggers. 

you're caught by surprise, but you don't say anything, enjoying the building tension once again. 

"and met the boys again too, they've grown up alot than the last time, i saw them." heeseung says and his words just turn into another one of the background noises when your gaze stays put on jay's. 

he must've been watching it all this while then. 

"i should leave now, it's getting quite late. got a few plans tomorrow," 

you turn to face heeseung again when he gets up, and your hold in his doesn't depart as you get up from your seat as well. 

"i see," you say, smiling at him back. "if you're free anytime over the summer, i'm one call away. i still use the old number. 

"sure, im one call away too, if you wanna hang anytime." he says, and then pulls you in for a goodbye hug. you take this chance to look over his shoulder, at jay but it surprises you when you see jay walking over with the most annoyed look. 

you must've pushed the right button then. 

"oh yes, i'm driving home, do you need a ride, i can dr—" 

"heeseung hyung," 

you both look over to the younger male joining the conversation. jay gives heeseung a smile when heeseung gives him a joyful one. 

"jay, what's up?" 

"nothing much, sunghoon just wanted you over, real quick too! i'm afraid you need to cut the conversation with y/n short," he says, then swiftly glancing between your hands and then back at heeseung's face. 

"i see," heeseung says and turns back to you. "sorry y/n, i'll drive you home, another time, alright?" he says, and then leans in closer to you, catching you by surprise. 

"see you around, yeah?" he says and then places a small kiss right on the corner of your lips, completely catching you by surprise and only intriguing a wave of jealousy. 

winking at you he leaves but you don't have any time to wave back at him before jay takes you by your wrist and leads you into the back of the kitchen, to the hidden corner, where no one can see the two of you.

"what are you doing, jay?" you ask when he lets go of your hand. "is everything okay?" 

"don't is everything okay me, y/n," he sighs, shaking his head as he looks down at you before he leans down to your level like heeseung had done before. "you got my attention, don't you think you have to deal with the consequences now?" 

your lips full apart to answer him but instead jay takes this as a chance to continue what had been discontinued earlier, this time hoping no one would cockblock the two of you, again. 

"drive me home tonight." you say, eyelashes fluttering as you look up at him, pulling away to catch your breath. 

"i can do more than just drive you home tonight, y/n." 

and so he did, proved you right. you didn't have a thing to complain about by the end of the night. when you tiptoed back to your room after jay had driven you back home in sunghoon car, after leaving the boys back, you were absolutely tired out and dazed.

and sore, and tired. laying down on your bed, you pulled the duvet over yourself, too tired to hop in the shower and shower. 

afraid his scent on your skin from the previous hours would go missing. his cologne, the taste of his lips, the ghost of his touches on your skin, all the memories come flashing back into your mind as you fall into dreamland with the biggest smile plastered on your face. 

when you woke in the morning you had immediately rushed to shower and the night before memory came rushing back as the water trickled down your body. 

you walked out of the shower, wrapped in your towel ready to lotion your skin until you saw yourself in the mirror, eyes widened. 

"holy shit," 

you trail your fingers over the marks in between the valley of your chest and all the way up to the collarbone, gasping at how sick it looked. 

you didn't know whether to be scared that if anyone saw your entire collarbone area covered in hickeys is terrifying or the fact these marks were lowkey hot. 

and then you remembered what jay had said the night before. 

"don't leave too obvious marks," 

he shifts in his place before smiling and then pulling you into a kiss again, then onto your neck, nibbling on the skin, making a hickey. 

"sure," and then he pulls you into another kiss, this time purposely missing your lips and kissing the spot heeseung had kissed you at just before, a few hours prior to this. 

when he pulls away there's a small red mark on the spot both of them had kissed at. 

"my mark as my girl," he says, chuckling and you swear your heart truly skipped a beat, making you feel all the things you should've felt with heeseung earlier. "i've told you before, i don't like people having what's mine already."

you bite your bottom lip before your lips grow upwards into a smile, and you try to not blush at the memory. 

"gosh, what the hell.." you sigh, shaking your head. you're pretty sure a hookup shouldn't have you giggling this way, but for some reason it did and it doesn't feel wrong at all. 

you then examine the marks, sighing at how obvious it looked. you're just hoping enough foundation and concealer can fix it. 

a few minutes later, after a lot of effort into hiding the hickeys, you then look into the mirror, hoping it's hidden pretty well. it was, but if anyone were to look closer into it, you can tell something's hidden behind the makeup. 

giving up, you just resorted into getting dressed and just heading downstairs for a late breakfast considering how your stomach hasn't stopped grumbling. 

"morning," 

you see jake by the stairs, putting on his jacket in the hot weather and you wave back at him.

"it's 1 in the afternoon, are you heading out somewhere?" 

jake smirks at you, "i know, it's called sarcasm baby," you roll your eyes at the pet name, looking away. "and yes, you wanna come along?" 

"where are you going? where's the rest by the way?" 

"heading over to the tracks for rehearsal, there's a race tonight." jake replies, following right behind you, hot on your trail. "the rest are already there." 

"oh," you nod, and then take the cereal box but jake stops you. 

"what?" 

"let's go," 

"go where?" 

"to the tracks," 

"no? i'm lazy."

"and?" 

you scoff at him, slapping his hand away from your arm. "it's scorching hot jake, i'm too lazy for that." 

"not even a free McDonalds can convince you?" 

you pause, and that gets a reaction out of jake. he immediately smiles when he realises he might have gotten you in his grip, "what do you say?" 

"only if we can get the combo sets." 

"SETS?" he gasps, and then wonders how much he has left in his wallet. 

"take it or leave it, jakey." 

jake ponders on it for a few seconds before signing, and giving in. "okay fine," he whines, and then points at you. "let's go." 

you excused yourself to change into a more appropriate outfit rather than showing up in an oversized shirt and shorts, which doesn't seem right for the venue at all. 

after you changed, you and jake drove off to the nearest McDonald's and after a lot of fighting, jake indeed got you combo sets and within minutes finished it all, leaving jake absolutely stunned.

"i know you didn't just finish ALL of that," he says, glaring at you as he reverses into the parking lot. 

"and i didn't even have any of the fries!" 

"you didn't even ask for any, that's not my fault," you say, laughing as jake parks the car and finally turn to you. 

"i did, you're just saying things now!" 

"uhm if so I didn't hear anything so," you say, shrugging and then jake leans into you and then smirks..

you start to panic, is he going to kiss you? you really seemed to be very kissing material these days, there's just a never ending list of guys leaning in to kiss you.

"i'll make you hear it then," 

you smile, feeling the rushing feeling going up through your chest and then up your throat. before jake could lean in any closer, you burp so loud in his face making him fall back into his seat in absolute horror. 

"oh god— uh i did not MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN…." you gasp, feeling sorry for him all of sudden. 

"i— i, i think i saw god for a second…….. y/n.." he trails off, and closes his eyes, trying to not pass out from the shock. 

fast forward a few minutes later jake finally recovers from the trauma, you think so. you try to not laugh in his face even more while jake glares at you for pulling that shit on him earlier as you two make your way into the arena. 

as soon as you enter you spot sunghoon immediately and he's shocked to see you there as well. 

"are you really y/n? what are you doing here?" he asks, placing his hand to his heart, looking at you in awe. 

"shut up," you whine, rolling your eyes at your brother. 

"no for real, what has you coming here for?" 

"jake bribed me with McDonalds," you say, and then pointing to Jake who's glaring at you with a scoff. 

"yeah i wish i didn't, she almost killed me with that deadly ass burp— fuck i'm gonna throw up," he slaps his hand against his mouth and wanders off into somewhere, trying to not embarrass himself and throw up in the middle of the arena. 

"did you seriously do that to him, that's fucking nasty," sunghoon gasps, scrunching his face up in disgust at your actions, and gasping again when you laugh to confirm his guesses. 

you don't tell him jake tried to kiss you though, only dismissing it because jake would have a black eye when sunghoon finds out. you figured that would work as an apology for burping in his face.

your chat with sunghoon is interrupted when jay walks up to the two of you, taking of his helmet and wiping off the sweat on his forehead, then swiping his hair back as he looks at sunghoon. 

"you're up next." 

sunghoon nods and then pats your head. 

"i gotta go, see you later." 

you nod, giving him a thumbs up, "goodluck." 

you watch as sunghoon disappears into the group of people and then you realise how passionate he looked like, about racing. 

"i didn't know you would come down here," jay says as he looks down at you. 

"i don't," you say, smiling at him. "jake bribed me with McDonalds so, that speaks for itself," you laugh and try to not wheeze at burping in jake's face for him trying to kiss you. 

but then again, you don't mention it either. 

"it's gone?" 

"what's gone?" 

jay traces his hand on your collarbone, and then nods when he sees it's hidden by your concealer. you glare at him, immediately remembering the trouble you had to go through to hide the hickeys. 

"i told you to not make it too obvious jay," 

"yeah, you only said to not make it too obvious?" he says, chuckling. "you never said i couldn't make any at all," 

"it's the same thing." you scoff, squirting your eyes at him. "it's not baby," 

you bite the insides of your cheek, trying to not blush at the pet name except when jake used it on you earlier, it didn't give you the same effects as now. 

jay seems to find that you do like being called baby so he takes notes and then smiles at how cute you were.

"shut up," 

"i don't think you were saying that last night when i was—" 

"JAY!" you gasp, shutting him up with your hand over his mouth, staring at him wide eyed. he tears your hand away, laughing. 

"what? are you embarrassed now?" 

"no— i just— why are you saying this stuff in public!" 

"you didn't have a problem with screaming my name in public yesterday though," 

"jay shut up, oh my god," you whine, cheeks turning red, flustered only making jay chuckle. 

"the only one who'll be shutting up is you," he says, slipping his hand right underneath your waist, catching you by surprise. "right?" 

he's right, that immediately shuts you up and also the pulsing between your legs returns in broad daylight. it's immaculate how down bad you were for him.

"am i interrupting something?" 

you turn to your right to see heeseung in his racing attire as well, surprising you immediately when you push jay away. 

"yeah, we were in the middle of something, hyung." 

you widen your eyes staring at jay and then back at heeseung. 

"oh, i see, if so then—" 

"what? no ,he's just kidding!" you laugh awkwardly, waving your hands at him. "he's gonna go back to the tracks, right jay hahahaha!" you say, and then raise your eyebrows only to get a glare from him. 

"oh uhm.." heeseung trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling at you and jay awkwardly. "i didn't expect to see you here, just wanted to say hi!" 

"i could say the same for you as well, you're back into racing again?" you ask, confused to see him here as well, in his racing attire too. 

"uh, yeah, in the meantime while waiting for the residency to start, you know." 

"oh i see," you nod, giggling at heeseung. 

"anyway, i'm free later in the evening, do you want to go out for dinner, if you're free—" 

"oh sur—" 

"no she's not." jay speaks up, crossing his arms against his chest, surprising the two of you. 

"uh excuse me?" you ask jay, widening your eyes at him signalling what the hell he's doing. 

you look back at heeseung, laughing again to clear out the awkward tension between them. "he's just joking! gosh, jay you're such a jokester today hahahahahahahah!" 

the two of them just stare at each other with you in the middle, not a word being exchanged. 

"uh— yeah, hee i'm free later, just text me for the details." 

hee? jay stares at you in disbelief at the nickname, for a reason it infuriates him. 

"that's great then. see you around, y/n?" he says, giving you a shy smile which you return back with a bigger smile at before he leaves. 

when heeseung leaves, there's smoke coming out of jay's nostrils so when you turn back to look at him you're stunned. 

"hee," jay mutters under his breath in a mocking way, making you chuckle at his jealousy. 

"what? is there something wrong with that?" you ask, looking up at the fuelled jay park.

"i didn't say anything," 

"do you want a nickname too?" you ask, smiling at him, sulking. "jay? jey? jayjay?" 

"you can make as many as you want," he says, glancing over at you with a smirk before he leans down to your level, to face your eye to eye. 

"nothing turns me on as much as the way you say my name though."

IN DILEMMA as you stare at yourself in the mirror. you place down the gloss, and sigh loudly. you're not sure why the guilt is building up in you when you're not supposed to be feeling guilty at all. 

it's not a crime to go out for just a dinner with an old friend (cut out crush), it's simply just a reunion over a small dinner, nothing extravagant like a date. 

but you're not sure why the one on your mind is jay, the boy you've been hooked on for weeks now, the one who's lips taste is still lingering on yours despite the cherry lip gloss coated on it. when all you're supposed to be thinking about is the man you're going to be out with in a few minutes, lee heeseung. 

"y/n!" you slap yourself, staring into the mirror. "get it together for god's sake," you sigh, slapping your cheeks again. 

you can do it, it's no big deal. just ignore the guilt in you and go on a date with heeseung, it's all fine, _no big deal_!

you get a text from heeseung that he's outside, making you get up and frantically rush around the room to get your clutch, and a few other things. after rushing to spray on your perfume, you head out to find heeseung waiting for you by the porch. 

"oh, wow." 

heeseung smiles at you, as he compliments your looks for the night. "you look simply gorgeous tonight, y/n." 

you smile back at him, thanking him as you compliment him back on the navy blue but black tux he has on, perfectly suiting him in every inch. 

"you look amazing too, heeseung." 

"shall we?" he asks, and takes your hand in his, leading to his Mercedes, and closing the door after you get into the passenger seat. 

heeseung joins you in the driver's seat and the rest of the drive is accompanied by a small talk between you two, until you guys reach the restaurant. 

and you have to say, lee heeseung went all out on this. you're wondering how his ex could have ever gotten tired of this, quite materialistic of you. 

"the food here is great, i hope you love the cuisines," heeseung says as he helps you out of the car and then locks it before walking into the restaurant with you. 

"good evening, mr.lee. great to see you again!" the waitress at the front greets heeseung and then gives you a brief smile before attending to him. 

"i have a reservation under my name," 

"yes sir, let's get you checked in." she says and then leads you and heeseung inside of the restaurant and all you could say about the place was it screamed rich, rich, rich. 

not your usual cup of tea, but enjoying a good dinner like this once in awhile is a good thing you suppose. 

"alright, here's your seat, i'll be right back to attend to you with your menus." she says as she stops the two of you inside a private room, you're guessing it must be a VIP spot considering how glamorous the spacious room looked for only a table for two. 

"thank you," he thanks the waitress and then walks over to you when she leaves. he pulls out the chair for you, helping you into your seat before he gets in for himself. 

you look around the room, awkwardly not knowing what to say until heeseung speaks up. 

"so, uh, you're with jay?" 

you're not sure how to answer the question, you're not sure yourself what the two of you even were. 

you hooked up, one time. three failed hookup times, but every kiss was amazing, you couldn't ask for better. you don't know if you like him, you know he doesn't like you that's for sure, in a romantical way. 

sure he makes you feel all the type of way every girl would feel from someone she likes but, do you like him, romantically?

you're guessing he's not more than just a summer fling, right?

but how were you supposed to explain it to heeseung? much to your dismay, fortunately you don't have to because the waitress walks in with the menus as she promised.

"here are your menus," she says and you both order your meals but yours is just recommend by both heeseung and the waitress, a few more words are exchanged between each other until the waitress leaves and you're back to square one again with heeseung.

"i'm guessing it's a yes, then?"

you look up to look at him, and you blink, unsure of what to say. 

"i hope you don't mind me asking….. i just—"

"are you hitting on me, heeseung?" 

you know you may or may have not fucked up by the way heeseung almost choked on his water as he stares at you wide eyed. your reaction has him chuckling in no time, realising that you're actually being serious. 

"is that what it looks like?" 

"it's the only logical explanation i can think of," you say, shrugging slightly. 

"well, to answer you question." he pauses, laughing. "no, i'm not hitting on you." 

you're confused now, so why was he acting like he was trying to hit on you? "i was just testing the waters." 

"mind elaborating?" you urge, staring at him blankly. heeseung smiles at you, leaning back in his seat. 

"i was trying to see if jay has finally got you," 

"what?" 

heeseung just smiles at you again, sighing when he sees that you're clueless, so clearly jay hasn't made his move yet. "that, i don't think it's my place to tell you." 

you whine, sulking at heeseung. 

"how can you just say stuff and then leave me hanging by the thread like that! heeseung!" 

the older boy just chuckles, taking a sip from his glass seconds later. "you'll see, soon. "

"but, you know, jay's a great guy," heeseung continues, speaking for his brother who isn't blood related to him. "despite the whole reputation he has tainted on him, he's a gem." 

you nod, listening to heeseung, completely immersed in the topic as it's about jay.

"jay's a great guy, i give you my word for that. he's amazing, honestly— i can't stress it enough, i'm exaggerating because he's my homie or anything but, anyone would be lucky to have jay in their life." heeseung says, giving you a warm smile at it, as if he knows there's something going on between you and jay. 

"you're no stranger to him right y/n? so you know how his childhood has always been," heeseung says and you agree.

you really are no stranger to jay, you've known him ever since sunghoon barged through the house with jake, jay and heeseung behind him, excitedly cheering that he's a grown up boy and has friends now! especially one that is older than the rest of them. 

you remember him spending most of his time at your place rather than his own, for reasons of course. jay never really had a great relationship with his family, sure his parents were in his life, still living under a roof together. 

but does all of that even matter when there's not a single ounce of love or affection? all that has ever been for jay is his parent's main priority being too engulfed into their business world that caring for their one and only heir has never been on their radar. 

but you know, that the love he never found with his biological parents, he found it in your home. with sunghoon, jay has always been treated like his very own brother— it's as if you were sister too but considering neither of you ever saw each other like that, that's another story. 

sunghoon has never let jay feel left out, always sharing with him everything he's ever had, even if not with, he's always shared with jay everything. from his toys to his dreams. everything.

your parents are no exception too, always welcoming him into their warm arms like jay is their own son. treating him exactly like you and sunghoon were always treated, with so much of love and affection. a family love, a type of love every human out there yearns for. 

they had always included him in family vacations, family activities, every breakfast, lunch, dinner, hangout— everything, jay was always invited. your home was basically his very own home too at this point.

however although you're aware you family has treated him him like their very own son, the lingering feeling will always be in jay : where his own family doesn't even care this much for him when another family, who isn't even his own blood does. 

so when that happens, it plays a major part in his growing up phase, but jay had always best the stereotype. that kids from broken families always fucks up, and has a ruined reputation. 

no, jay had always been an elite student in school. active for almost all of his curricular, a teacher's pet, star student— and is even loved by the students! popular kid, prom king, another it boy, the list goes on and on. 

though neither of that compares to the love and affection he's never had, the one he yearns for, you hope at least he's happy and lives a good life. 

"deep in thoughts?" 

"oh," you chuckle, shaking your head as you break out from the immense train of thoughts. "yeah— thinking about what you said, it's true." 

"right? considering things have always been like for him, i hope at least. the love he never got from his own family, he gets it from someone he loves." heeseung says, continuing from earlier. 

"and someone he loves i don't mean it by you know, sunghoon and the boys, partying, fucking around— i mean if that gives him happiness then so it be, but," he pauses. "by someone he loves, i mean like his romantic life. i hope that goes well for him especially, he's the type that never forgets his day 1 girl for a 1 day girl." 

you ponder on what heeseung said, letting it sink in. most men leave their day 1 girl for a 1 day girl, and jay not being them, just makes your heart a small flip. 

although you are aware that you don't like him romantically, the thought of being his girl, somehow makes you feel so giddy and on cloud nine. 

"i agree, i hope the same for him too." you say, nodding, and just agreeing with heeseung so he doesn't suspect anything wrong. 

heeseung just laughs, and then shakes his head. 

"i don't think we're supposed to talk about others when we're having dinner together," heeseung says, making you look at him. "but, guilt killing me so much that i can't stop thinking about her while i'm here with you." 

you're not sure how to react to that, not that you liked heeseung romantically to feel offended by that statement, but— his heart still belongs to his past lover at the end of the day, even while being on a dinner with another girl amuses you. 

you wonder, when is it your turn for your heart to belong to someone like that and that even if you have the most wanted, charming guy in the room wrapped around your fingers, nothing would compare to the one that has your heart. 

sighing, you lean back in your seat. 

"it's fine, i'm here for the free meal anyway!' 

and dinner passed in a blink of an eye, after heeseung and your conversation about jay, the two of you had just drifted onto another topic and enjoyed the talk over the overpriced food. 

that didn't even taste as good as the diner by your place where you hang out with your friends at. 

heeseung opens the door for you and leads you out of the restaurant, as soon as you do, the chilly breeze hits your skin, making you shiver almost immediately. 

"oh, here," he says, taking off his jacket and putting it over you. you're stunned but you thank him nevertheless, realizing that if you had just gone on with the dress you have on, you'd just freeze to death, although it's in the middle of the summer. 

"thank you, hee." 

the drive back to your place was filled with a comfortable silence, heeseung changing the radio stations when it got boring, and you just leaning against the window of his car, staring into the outer view while your mind's completely occupied. 

by the boy you couldn't stop thinking about ever since the start of summer. 

when heeseung pulled into your driveway, he got out ahead of you to open the door for you. thanking him again, you bid him goodbyes and give him a goodbye hug then make your way up to your porch. 

just as heeseung drives off and you reach for your purse a loud thud in the darkness scares the absolute shit out of you. 

"FUCK!" you gasp, for a moment your soul leaving your body when you see a tall figure get up from the porch and walk towards you. 

under the dim light of the streetlight, you calm down when you're able to make out the figure, realizing it's just jay. 

"what are you doing here?" you ask and he just stared at you with a sulky, annoyed expression. 

"jay, h— have you been here since afternoon?" you gasp, taking in his outfit. it's the exact same as the one from earlier in the noon, except he has a leather jacket over him now. 

"what, no." he says, and rubs the back of his neck. you fight back the urge to smile when you realize it's a habit he has when he's not being honest, often when’s lying. 

"are you sure?" you ask again and jay just looks away, slightly scoffing which doesn't go unheard by you. it makes a small smirk grow on your lips almost immediately. 

he wasn't waiting for you… right? 

"uh stop asking me questions! h— how was your so-called date with heeseung?" jay asks, turning around almost immediately, looking at you with an unexplainable look plastered on his face. 

"it went well, i guess, why?" 

"nothing, you just seem to— like it so much," he says, and rolls his eyes. "smiling ear to ear and shit," he mutters under his breath as he looks down at his shoes, next to you. 

you chuckle, biting your lip to hold back a louder laugh as soon as jay turns to you to give you a glare for laughing at him. that's when he realizes what you have over your body, a coat he's never seen you own.

and then it strikes him, it's heeseung's! 

"huh? jay, what are you doing!" you gasp when jay pulls the coat off you, catching you by surprise. he doesn't say anything when he tosses heeseung's coat onto the bench and takes off his leather jacket, then puts it over you. 

"you'll be a lot warmer now," he says and then avoids eye contact when you smile up at him. "what does he think he's in, a kdrama?" jay scoffs when he looks over at the coat on the bench and you roll your eyes at his pettiness. 

"thank you so much jay, i would've frozen to death if i didn't wear yours instead of wearing heeseung's!" you say, exaggerating the way you say it as well, mocking the sulky jay park.

"yeah, you should be grateful i saved you," he says, huffing dramatically. "your prince charming is here, not the guy that took you out for like a expensive dinner once— even i can do that!" 

you laugh at him, pushing his shoulder. 

"yeah? then why don't you do that, jay? who knows, maybe i'll give you a chance too." 

jay just shrugs at you, acting cool and unbothered when you laugh at him.  

"whatever, just go in. you're gonna get sick." he says, and points over at the blowing wind, signaling there might be rain tonight. 

before you could say anything else, jay just opens the door for you and pushes you in, before he gives you a brief wave and starts to walk away. 

"jay!" you call out, and drop your purse on the ground before you walk after him. jay turns around in a heartbeat and your lips collide onto his lips, leaving a small peck that makes his cheeks flustered. 

"y/n?" he asks, when you pull away immediately after the small peck. 

you walk back to the door, and then lean against the doorframe, before closing it shut. 

"i'll be waiting for the dinner invitation, mr.prince charming!" 

you give him a quick wave and shut the door, leaving the boy with his heart doing flips and mind going crazy. god, you're the death of him. 

"HAS IT ALREADY BEEN THAT LONG?" 

you and wooyoung gasp at karina who seemed to be occupied with her college hunt on her laptop. summer is ending soon, and you've barely got your shit together. all that's ever been going on is partying, getting wasted, fucking around with your loverboy endlessly and nothing else. 

though wooyoung just sighed it off saying he'd worry about it later and you both should go back to playing mario cart, you couldn't help but ignore the worry in you. 

it hasn't hit you yet that high school is finally over and that you'll be graduating less in a month! 

and then college comes, the young adult phase where all you can think about is assignments and deadlines, no more fun. what makes you want to tear up is the fact that the four of you, wooyoung, karina, seeun and you won't be together anymore. 

"can't believe you're like this," seeun sighs, and she lays on your bed, scrolling on your phone. 

"that's rich coming from you— scrolling on tiktok isn't going to help you apply for college either, seeun." wooyoung retorts, rolling his eyes at her. 

they're back at it again. 

you tell wooyoung to continue with the game as you rush out of your room to get your laptop and sit down with karina, getting down to work which you ignore wooyoung's pleas for not being brainwashed by her.

"huh, where are you going?"

you stop in your tracks when you see your brother rush out of his room, dressed up with his keys jingling in his hand. 

"oh, a few of my old friends are back in town, gonna fetch them." he says and you nod, getting an unsettling feeling about it. "and heads up, since mom and dad are gone for the weekend, they'll be residing here for two days."

you open your mouth to not agree with him but sunghoon cuts you off. 

"yeah and before you go on and off about it, i'll make sure we don't disturb you, geez!" 

yeah that's a lie.

with that, the older boy just rushes off with a brief bye to you, and you're just standing in the corridor, sighing loudly. 

you head into your room and just pick up your laptop as that's what you came originally for until you're stopped by a thought crossing your mind.

were the friends he was talking about are the people he, jay and jake were having a conversation about, a few nights ago. 

you hoped it wasn't, because the mention of the girl sunghoon couldn't stop associating jay with was already make you feel nauseous, and seeing her— you don't think you could do it. 

despite the obvious fact that you both are merely just fuck buddies and besides the fact you've both never addressed the relationship between each other, so that's what you've opted to.

just fuck buddies with no feelings attached. 

but you're getting a feeling that isn't going to stay forever like that. 

a knock on your door is heard and you turn around to see seeun peeking from the door slightly ajar. 

"you were taking so long, wooyoung said you might have passed out and some shit so i came to check," she says and you let out a small laugh. 

inviting her in, you both sat in your bed and you sigh loudly at the heavy feeling in your chest again. you hated when this happened, you don't even like jay romantically so you don't know why you're always so down the moment you hear him being with someone else. 

"is everything okay, you look sad?" 

you sigh even more, and then just decide to tell seeun about it. 

"i don't think i ever told you about it but, i've been into….. with jay for a while now." you admit and seeun just nods, the atmosphere suddenly getting heavier. 

"yeah, i figured— i hear those two talking about it sometimes and i see, " she points at your skin, which is slightly tainted with the older hickeys that you told jay again and again to not make it so obvious. "that," 

"oh, uh," you bite your lips, unsure of how to respond to her statement. you're not sure why she has a gloomy expression on her face when she mentions the hickeys and jay. 

"y/n, you know it's still not too late right?" 

"for?" 

"to stop yourself from getting involved in his mess," she says, frowning. "he's not good news, y/n." 

"seeun, he's really not that bad— trust me," you emphasize with her, defending jay as she nitpicks about him. 

"y/n you just don't see it right? he's not good for you, i'm telling you because i don't want you to get hurt by him!" she whines frustratedly when you're still defending the boy she loathes. 

"what do you know about him, seeun— this habit of yours, talking shit about just anyone has to go." you argue, sighing experatedly when she gets up from the bed and stands before you. 

"okay, so what do you know about him then, y/n? what do you know so much about the boy that just wants to fuck and leave you in the end, that you're defending him so much like this?" 

you're shocked, you don't know why is seeun so heated up about this argument that she's saying shit at this point. 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you scoff, placing your laptop aside as you stare at her with a glare. 

"what did you expect then? i'm telling you that i know his fucking tactics so bad— i'm saving you from the hurt y/n! why can't you just listen when i'm telling you what's good for you?" 

"who are you to tell me what's good and what's bad for me, seeun?" you ask, genuinely confused where she's coming from. you know about jay's reputation, and if anything you've only learned more about him over the weeks. you know he's famous for fucking and leaving but you're the one who wanted this so you have to experience the consequences. 

"fuck, why are you like this, oh my god!" she grunts, gripping onto her hair as she stares at you in disbelief. "he isn't worth this argument, y/n." 

"why are you deciding that seeun— i don't even know why are you so fucking pissed about this, it's ridiculous," you pause. "do you like him, is that it?" 

seeun sighs, deciding that this is the only time she could bring it up, picking to go big or go home. 

"how dense can you be?" she asks, and you snap at her, with an annoyed expression painted on your face.

"being dense is your speciality seeun, because there's literally no any other logical explanation as to why you're so fucking against me liking j—" 

"GOD Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE— I LIKE YOU!" and as soon as she said that the door bursts open and karina and wooyoung are staring at the two of you in shock. 

you open your mouth and close it back, completely stunned that you were expecting something but seeun confessing that she likes you definitely wasn't what you expected. 

"fuck jay, i don't like him— the one i like is you, and— you're so oblivious to that….." she trails off, tears streaming down her face at this point. you felt guilty all of a sudden at the sight of her crying, but when you reach for her she backs away. 

"i— i'll get going." she says and storms off past you and through karina and wooyoung. when seeun leaves, wooyoung rushes after her to comfort her as karina walks over to comfort you. 

"i didn't even know…." you trail off, falling back onto your bed with a slump, sighing. karina assures you that it isn't your fault, that neither of you guys ever expected that. 

"y/n, don't blame it on yourself— it's not your fault, none of us expected this. if anything we just thought the same as you," she pauses. "that she liked jay… or jake."

you sigh, shaking your head in confusion. you had no idea as to why everyone seemed to be putting you into a tight spot right now, everything pulled up on you. 

"y/n….. don't worry, you can talk it out with her soon.. when she calms down." she paused. "or at least when you both have everything figured out, she basically just confessed to you." 

then she looks at you when your gaze falls onto karina. 

"you have to give her an answer." 

UPON HEARING jake's departure back to gongjin for the rest of summer, you already knew your brother was going to throw a goodbye party. 

he just needed a reason to party. 

and you weren't in the mood for it, not after how things has been going downhill for you after seeun's confession. 

you hadn't seen her in awhile, after the whole fiasco and neither did you make any moves to give her an answer. 

you knew you didn't like her, in a romantic way. seeun has always been nothing more than just a great friend, so when she confessed you just realised and saw the bigger picture later on. 

how she always stuck to you, how she always wanted to hang out just by yourselves, just the two of you, how she knew everything about you from what you liked to what you had an ick for— even the things that karina or wooyoung couldn't care less to bother about. 

and the most obvious clue that gave it all away was how she always reacted when jay's name got brought up in the conversation. how she had always fell silent when the conversation was about the boy you're currently in daze with, and how she'd be annoyed and not interested whenever you spoke about him. 

and how she was totally against the idea of you having jay as your summer fling. 

you wouldn't have guessed a thing even back then, you'd just think she preferred to hang out with you better as she probably would have felt more comfortable than having you hanging out with a guy who has the golden title for fuck and leave. 

so even now, your feelings and how you view seeun hasn't changed a bit. you still love her very much as a friend.

it's clear as day that you don't have feelings for her, at all. what you're not sure of is, why you feel like your heart is already entitled for somebody else, and you're having suspicions that it might be the person you have in mind exactly. 

"is everything okay?" 

you look up at the boy hovering over you as he takes a seat next to you. you spot sunghoon and jake fighting over a gelato flavour by the counter at the front of the store. 

"uh yeah," you reply, smiling at him briefly and then going back to poking at your gelato as it slowly melts due to the hot weather outside the air conditioned store. 

"you don't sound too sure, and that doesn't sound assuring at all." he says, giving you a small squeeze on your hand. 

you sigh at him, feeling your heart beat increase when he flashes you a small smile that gives you a tiny serotonin boost. gosh, at this point you wouldn't be surprised if you were lovestuck and mad in love with him.

just saying…

"something came up— with my friend. it was shocking and my mind is just all over the place…" you say, frowning and jay rubs his thumb over your hand. 

"you can tell me if you want to— it'll help you clear out your mind and i can help if possible?" 

you contemplate for a moment and then shark your head. 

"it's alright, i don't want to burden you jay." you say, and give him a small smile. what happened between you and seeun should stay between you two only, considering how she came out to you by mistake through the confession, you figured it's not your place to be telling everyone her privacy. 

and— you indeed didn't want to burden jay, although he's an amazing listener and you can tell him all your worries in the world and he surely can help you out, if possible like he had said so— speaking from past experience. 

"if that's the case, then sure." he says, and then pats your head lightly, caressing your hair for a second with heart eyes. "don't mind me," 

your eyes widens when he pecks a quick kiss on your lips, igniting a short gasp from you in shock. 

"jay!" you clasp your mouth with your hand, staring at him in shock. "that's risky! what if they co—" 

and he pecks you again after pulling your hand away from your lips. 

"okay? and i'll do it again," he shrugs and you opted to say something before he kissed you again, making you flustered. 

"i'll kiss my baby if i want to," 

"y-your what!" you ask, flabbergasted at the sudden pet name. jay has never used any of those ever before, not even during your intimate moments with him. 

so him using baby casually in you definitely caught you off guard— especially when it rolls of his tongue so easily as if he's used to it, and as if it's meant for you. 

"i said, my baby." he says, taking a bite of his gelato and grinning at you foolishly, as if he's in love. "you're my baby, can't i call my girl that?" 

you take a deep breath, turning around and screaming silently as you tried to keep your cool. 

like, RUCOEKENFB WHATEHFUCKKKKEKRNRNTNRNENENNRBDNER HES SO FCUTYEYEUEE BANGGING NY HEAD AGAISNT THE WAKK STEAES SRTESDMING DMY FACE GIGKGGKING SO HATD SHAKINF MY FEEETTTTTBGODDDDDD HES THE ONE HESS THE ONE FOR TMEEEEEEEEEE. 

just like that, but in your head where your inner mind is threatening to burst and your cheeks hurt from smiling too bright and your heart beating faster than usual and your stomach doing insane flips. 

the symptoms of being in love. 

"you know it's going to be easy to fall for you if you keep on doing that, jay." you say, with the most toned down tone, but your smile beating you to it as soon as you turn around to see jay leaning over the table as he looks at you with the most adored smile. 

the one that has every girl starstruck at first sight. 

"yeah? that's the point. because i'm already head over heels for you," he says, grinning. 

for some reason his sentence gives you a sudden hope, and also a tiny pang that you chose to ignore because right now, fuck getting fake hope, you just want to enjoy this moment. 

"really? that's quick, i guess i'm pretty irresistible after all," 

"that has always been the case for me y/n," 

"jay," you say, sighing at him with a smile. now you'll draw the line and stop the conversation from going further because if it did, then you'd be having an entire procrastination session with yourself and debating if he likes you or not. 

though that shouldn't be the case if you didn't like him, romantically— right?

"shut up or i'll kiss you." 

"then k—" 

and you do, you lean in and place a quick kiss and then pull away giggling when jay is caught off the guard. he smiles at your brighter and pecks you. 

and then you peck him again, and he pecks you and you peck him and he— 

"we're gonna get caught." you say, stopping him which disappointed him a little. 

how much he wished you both would get caught and when sunghoon gives you both his blessings and jay finally makes a move, he can kiss you anytime and anywhere he wants to. 

but he doesn't have that privilege yet. 

"okay, last one." he says and pecks you for the last time before you both see jake running over to the table.

"god sunghoon is such a menace, he has such a bad taste i can't believe you have a brother like that, y/n." he says, catching his breath and sunghoon finally joins beside him and nudges jake's arm, scoffing at him. 

"i got to praise you for keeping up with him, really." jake says, shaking his head and then yelping when sunghoon knocks his head for mocking him. "dude at this rate i'm about to go back with a bump on my head!"

"you're asking for it!"

"not that deep, really sunghoon!"

"so are you guys gonna cut it out or…" jay speaks up, and then looks back and forth between his two brothers like friends. 

"dude? you too! looks like you guys can't wait to just send me off," jake scoffs and bites a spoonful of gelato with an offended glare. 

"sunghoon probably can't wait for sure so he can have all of your bitches," you say, shurgging with a mischievous smile when sunghoon glares at you. "other than that, i'm feeling sad that you won't be here for the rest of the summer." 

"thank you for your appreciation y/n, you're the best, do you want a kiss?" 

you're rolling your eyes at the question when sunghoon goes on and off again, about how you're off limits and how jake is an asshole and how he also doesn't want his bitches because he already has his girl. 

which you opted to ask him about later, seeing how she was back in town as well. 

while on the other hand, you feel a warmth on your thigh which catches you off the guard. 

"what are you doing?" you whisper to jay, who's already looking at you with a small smirk before he leans in by your ear. 

"do you want to?" 

"huh?" eyebrows furrowed, you're confused. 

"jake," he says, and you see him glare at jake for a second and then back to you. "do you want to kiss him?" 

oh..

"would that be a problem?" 

"i don't know, just that jake would never the light of the day if he kissed you," 

you give him a shy laugh, before shaking your head. "then i don't want to kiss him," 

"why? cause he'll never see the light of the day?" 

"no," you deny. "it's because then you'll be fuming with jealousy and i won't get a break from wanting to be kissed by everyone, it's a struggle, really." 

jay nudges his elbow at you while his hand is still plastered on your thigh, rubbing it up and down slowly underneath the table where the action is hidden from your brother and his friend. 

"what are you two doing?" 

you both look up at sunghoon like deer caught in headlights, blinking as if you've both caught red handed. 

"w—" 

"don't tell me you guys are planning to ditch me when he leaves?" 

a breath you were holding had let go when you realized he didn't really realize what you two were doing. with a look of relief you try to move away, to put distance between you two but jay holds your thigh still while talking to sunghoon.

"guess you caught us red handed," 

"fuck you three, can't have shit i'm telling you." 

the three of you burst into laughter and your head falls back which jay realizes is too close to the wall so he puts a hand behind your head to prevent you from bumping into the wall. 

an action that's unnoticed by you but noticed by someone else. 

"anyway, i'm really so annoyed that the girls are coming back right when i'm away— i swear gongjin better be worth it." 

"girls?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows when jake speaks. 

"yeah, our old friends from high school, they're gonna be back in town." sunghoon adds on and a small twisted feeling grows in the pit of your stomach. "some friends that jay might enjoy …" he snickers but the two of you don't. 

and then sunghoon mentions her. 

"dude, seriously it's gonna be crazy like you and mai reconciling— don't gotta worry about being bitchless anymore, won't you?" 

your gaze falls onto the gelato cup, and then suddenly feel like jay's hand is making you uncomfortable in the midst of s conversation about him and another girl, that isn't you. 

it was so unsettling. 

"hoon, i told you i don't have anything to do with her anymore— i don't even… i don't even fuck with her anymore." jay says, indirectly saying he doesn't give a shit about another girl when all he ever needs is you who's slouching next to him with a frown.

"isn't that the point of her coming back though," sunghoon laughs, "like you guys getting back together and reviving what you both left back in highschool?" 

you remove jay's hand off your thigh and leave a gap between you two almost immediately when the air in the store suddenly gets down. jay turns to look at you but you're looking out the window trying to not be bothered by the conversation between your brother and jay. 

in fact, it shouldn't bother you at all. all this while it's been pretty clear to the two of you that the two of you are nothing more than just fuck buddies, so getting jealous and upset at the mention of each other being with another person shouldn't even occur. 

so why exactly where you drowning in jealousy and suddenly out of mood at the mention of mai and jay having history— at the mention of jay finally seeing her again.

countless questions run through your head and it's truly killing jay alive, he knows what's running through your mind and he's unable to stop you with sunghoon at the scene. 

"hoon, i think he's pretty serious bout' this— he's hard on not wanting to fuck with mai again, so drop it." jake says, nudging sunghoon when he's totally dense enough to not read the atmosphere in the room.

"yeah yeah, you say this all the time man," sunghoon points his spoon at jay. "in the end, you're deep into mai just like the old times." 

the conversation alone is enough to make you want to throw up so you abruptly stand up, catching everyone's attention. 

"i'm gonna head home first, i feel unwell." you say and walk past jay while sunghoon calls after you. 

pushing past the door, you exit the store and feel like your face was about to explode. 

"fuck," you sigh, not knowing why exactly why it's even this serious.

"y/n," 

you don't even turn around to know who it is, from the tone and voice it already has you intrigued.

"why are you after me?" 

"i don't want her y/n," 

"why are you telling me that?" you ask him, turning around with a sigh. 

"because you're upset…. sunghoon is just— you know him, i, i don't miss her or want to f—" 

"jay," you say, trying to fight back the urge to cry. "it shouldn't matter whether you miss her, or if you want to….." you trail off, not being able to bring the words out of your mouth about him fucking her. 

"i am not upset, i'm just not feeling well, really," you say, shaking your head and then jay walks to you and places his hand on your forehead which you move backwards away from. 

and that undeniably breaks this heart. 

"y/n w—" 

"jay don't worry about me. i'm being serious, you just…. spend the rest of your day with them, you don't have to come over later." you say, and move to leave but jay holds your hand in his, stopping you in tracks. 

"i want to worry about you, i can't just leave you like this?" 

"jay…." 

"y/n, i'm sorry. please? i'll get sunghoon to stop talking about her if it makes you uncomfortable…" 

"why would you do that? it shouldn't matter if your— if, mai bothers me, which doesn't so," you deny. 

"you're lying, y/n." 

"i'm not, jay—" you frown. "you don't even know me," oh, he really did know you well. 

"then i want to, know you. whatever that makes you feel better, okay? i want to make it better for you so, don't leave like this." 

you sigh, again. unable to slip away from his grasp, you massage your temple as you look at the boy before you. 

"jay, i want to leave, please i don't feel good." 

jay sighs, frowning as he buries the disappointment in his heart deep down as he nods slowly, giving in. 

"okay— let me help you catch a cab at least, please. " you agree, letting him do that before you're leaving the store leaving a sad jay behind. 

he tries to not walk in and just punch sunghoon right in face for never shutting up about mai, like he could literally care less about his past fling, when YOU, the girl he always needed, he's finally got. 

but now sunghoon just had to run his mouth and make you upset, and have you leave the place with things fucked between jay and you. 

groaning, he heads back into the store, trying to not punch sunghoon all the way and after a lot of persuading from jake, he calmed down and spoke to sunghoon, whilst you were on his mind for the most part. 

when you got back home, you were confused while jay's words rang in your head as you collected yourself from the mess.

why did he apologize to you? he didn't have the need to do that, even if you got offended by the mention of mai and jay. it shouldn't have bothered the two of you, jay shouldn't have even had a reason to explain it to you, yet alone ran after you just because you seemed like you were offended. 

you actually were but still.

"fuck," you gasp, cheeks heating up and your stomach churning in, suddenly feeling an unexplainable feeling that you always feel when you're around jay. 

is it possible……… that you…. like …..

him?

CROWDEDNESS has never been your scene, and your friends very well knew it. if anything, the entire summer proved that you preferred being with one person or even alone, away from the sweaty bodies and alcohol smell lingering in the air. 

but jake's farewell party is just as important to you as it is for the rest, including your friends. so it wouldn't have been right to skip it just for the sake of avoiding jay and their new friends joining tonight..

though you were intrigued to see mai and understand sunghoon's hype about her being back. she really can't be all that, right?

"did you hear?" 

you turn around to see wooyoung giggling, and pulling you and karina in to whisper. 

"hear what?" karina asks, but wooyoung shushes her, glaring at her as if it's a secret that's forbidden to be spoken out about. 

"apparently," he says, and then looks at you. "jay's here with his car?" 

"okay and, what about it?" you ask, rolling your eyes at the irrelevant information wooyoung says. 

"what about it? did you forget?" 

karina gasps and then looks at wooyoung, "oh my god," 

"yeah…." 

at this point you're the only one who's oblivious to what's the deal about jay's car until you remember what wooyoung had told you before. about jay's car. 

"oh," 

"OH? THAT'S ALL?" 

"well what am i supposed to do about it? go and talk to him while he's engulfed with mai and get into his car, so i can be the first person to ride it?" 

"well thats possible considering you've ridden other things—" you slap wooyoung's arm with a scoff. 

"dude shut the fuck up," you say, shaking your head at him. "he probably brought his car for mai or whatever, it doesn't matter." you pause. "why are even talking about that anyway," 

karina and wooyoung sigh, and then brings up another topic, before dragging you to the drinks counter to grab drinks. 

"you need to chill, so" karina says, handing you a red solo cup with an unidentified liquid in it. "yes it's alcohol, just drink it." 

"i was not planning to get wasted tonight," 

"yeah but we are so, you can't refuse." wooyoung says, and nudges you. 

"just let loose y/n, summer is ending soon, we won't ever get to go to parties and get shit faced after this, senior year summer only comes one time sooooo!" 

you laugh at karina slurring away, already wasted so quickly and then grab the drink out of her hand and chug it down as the two cheer for you. 

"fuck! that was—" you clear your throat, scrunching your nose when you swallow the last bit of the drink, head frenzy at the sudden rush. "so good, get me another one." 

and the night went on, you successfully avoided your brother and his friends, just dancing and drinking the night away with your two other shit faced friends. 

trying out beer pong, flip cup, drunk jenga, avalanche, never have i ever, truth or dare, and alot more that consisted of getting absolutely wasted— you finally chose to get a break from how your head was pounding already. 

"rina," you giggle at your friend who's taking a shot. she places the glass down and then turns to you with a big smile. 

"y/n my babyyyyyy!" 

you both giggle as you slur, and pinching each others cheeks. 

"i need to shhhhhhhhh" you imitate a pissing sound and she nods, giving you a thumbs up. 

"do you want me to follow you?" 

"no, noooo!" you decline her offer, letting her have fun and you would be fine on your own, not a big deal. "wooyoung will throw a tantrum if he finds out we're gone, stayy!" 

with a nod, you escape the crowded room and make your way upstairs in the not so familiar house. to your surprise, you found out earlier that sunghoon wasn't throwing the party in your house instead at his friend's house which is the current one you're in, though you have no idea who this friend was. 

one thing you know he's gonna dread letting sunghoon throw a party in his house, because the next morning is gonna be ass, and the entire town is invited when sunghoon throws a party.

you finally found the bathroom, and then head in quickly locking the door in case someone decides to walk in and throw up all over you while you're pissing all the liquid you had consumed from earlier. 

you were still tipsy after the quick bathroom trip, considering how much you've been drinking the entire evening. it's actually the most you've ever drank, a new record set. 

when you opened the door, to exit you stopped in tracks of the boy you've been secretly earning to see for the longest time, but your ego was up as an obstacle. 

"y/n," he says, not that he was expecting to see you cheeks flustered and almost no self stability. 

"jaaayyyyeee!" you gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck, catching him by surprise. 

"y/n? what are you doing? somebody might see us—" he's cut off short when you drag him into the nearest room and lock the door behind him before you lean backwards on the wall, looking up at jay. 

you're not sober enough to realise your actions, because clearly if you were sober, you would have sprinted the other way the moment you saw jay and instead of arms locked around him, erotic level skyrocketing through the roof at the sight of him so hot in his iconic leather jacket. 

"it's such a sad thing you're not mine, jay," you sigh, but then chuckle when a hiccup leaves your mouth by surprise. "but im yours right?" 

"yes, always y/n b—" 

"kiss me," 

"y/n wh—" 

"kiss me, jay." you say, and don't wait a second longer before pulling him in and closing the gap between you two, lips locking onto each other as the two of your lips move against each other, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be put together.

jay's hand stays on your waist, it irks you but you're too drunk to bother about it as your hand trails down his chest, and then fingertips touch the silver lining of his skin before he's pulling away.

"y/n, we can't."

"what?" you ask, confused as to why he's saying no— not that it has ever been an issue before for the two of you, and by how he's breathing and the painfully obvious tent in his pants, you're sure he wants it. so what's the issue?

"i don't want you to regret this," 

"jay, this has never been a problem before, what's the issue?" you scoff, crossing your arms as he moves backwards. 

"you're drunk, i'm not going to take advantage of you while you're drunk, y/n…." 

"im not drunk," jay looks at you with a knowing glare and it throws you off. "fine, but i'm sober enough to sleep with you so i don't see a problem here." 

"we're not even on good terms, let's talk it out first," he says, and you sigh, shaking your head. 

"what's there to talk about? you shouldn't even care, jay. we're not even that serious to talk things out between us," you say, but it just sounds like you're slurring words and the way jay is looking at you says it all. 

"you're just saying anything now— forget it, let's talk about it when you're sober y/n." 

you push jay's hand off when he comes to hold yours, "are you serious right now?" 

"w—" 

"no, jay. why can't you just fuck and leave like you always do, after all, aren't we just fuck buddies? there shouldn't be anything between us like this. all we should be doing is fu—" 

"what the fuck y/n." jay scoffs, in disbelief at the words straight coming out of your mouth. "are YOU for real right now?" 

"well does it look like im joking? I don't get why it's such a big deal to you now, just d—"

a knock interrupts you both and the voice that speaks from the other side of the door, has you enraged.

that seemed to definitely sober you up, worse than an advil on a hangover morning. 

"jay? are you in there? someone said they saw you go in there, you left me all alone." 

it's mai, the infamous mai. 

"so that's why it's an problem now, right?" you ask, pushing his hand away and turning around to leave but jay holds you back, which you yank it off yourself. 

"don't touch me," you scoff and open the door to a ginger, staring at the two of you confused but smiles when she sees jay. then the smile drops when she sees you, with him. 

"y/n w—" 

without a second of letting him continue what he was saying, you storm out of the room leaving both jay and mai behind staring at you. 

mai attempts to grab jay who's running after you but the annoyed look he gives her when she shoves her is enough to has her lips shut.

"ah, what the fuck? who even is she?" mai whines, holding in her annoyance at the boy she has been head over heels for. 

"his," she turns around to see jake, looking at her with a smug smirk. "first love." 

"what? that's not possible? i'm his first love?" 

"that's what you think," jake shurgs. "but she's the one he's gonna leave his one day girl for his day one girl— the one that jay has always liked, so you're pretty much not even in the story mai." 

mai scoff at what she thinks jake's being a dick of, though that's the plain truth and he's right. jake watches her storm off before he finally goes back to sunghoon, hoping jay finally gets it right this time. 

when he arrived at the front yard, he realized you're nowhere to be found and his heart starts beating in anxiousness. the what if's running in his head as he's looking around for has him wanting to pass out. 

he knows you're not in the frat house anymore because clearly you're smart enough to not stay there and he saw you leaving the house anyway. 

taking out his keys, he immediately runs over to his car and pulls it out of the driveway, earning curious looks from the attendees in the front. 

sighing, you rub your head. it feels like you woke up from a nap that cleared the drunkenness up in you and you're sober enough to feel the embarrassment and heartbreak you just went through.

you should have known it was always mai, whether or not you came along first or later and the embarrassment of his declining to fuck you was even worse than the time you accidentally moaned out too loud and jay held onto that to tease you for a straight week. 

the weather wasn't helping either, wearing a dress wasn't exactly ideal for tonight. seeing how chilly it was, it looked like it was about to rain too from how cloudy the sky was.

and then the first drop falls, then the next, then it starts drizzling and before you know it, it's literally pouring and you're just walking in the rain, being the most pathetic person in the planet at the moment while the guy you have grown fond and like is blocks away, probably legs tangled in sheets with another girl. 

a honk surprises you when a pair of headlights come into view, making you turn around. 

maybe you were wrong. 

the car stops right behind you and your heart stops when he steps out of it, running towards you as he gets soaked in the rain. 

he grabs your arm and tries to shield you from the rain but you yank his grip off you.

"what the fuck are you doing? it's raining, y/n are you insane?" he asks, and reaches to hold you again but step back. 

"why are you after me? since when whether or not i'm insane mattered to you jay? go back to mai or something," you say turning around to go the other way but jay stops you by moving in front of you.

"let's talk this out, inside. you're gonna catch a cold, y/n." 

"god, why do you even care! you're not even my brother!" 

jay's chest heaves, and you watch him sigh before shaking his head. 

"trust me y/n, when it comes to you— i'm most definitely not thinking like a brother would." 

"leave me alone, jay— which part of that do you not get?" you scoff, letting the words you don't mean leave your mouth out of anger when you meant none of it. 

and then he snaps. 

"FOR GOD'S FUCKIN' SAKE— GET IN!" his voice echoes through the rain and you stare at him in absolute shock. you absolutely pushed the wrong button when you see the pissed off expression he has on his face. 

realizing you weren't going to move anytime soon, jay grabs your hand, leading you into his car and letting you into the passenger seat. 

the immediate air conditioning in the car sends chills down your spine, right after getting soaked in the rain. jay gets in not long after, and lowers down the air-conditioning then he reaches behind and grabs, what you examine is a jacket. 

you lock eyes with him as he puts his jacket over you as he locks you in with the seatbelt, and in a swift he looks away before changing the gear and speeding down the road. 

you both don't say anything pretty much for the most part, especially when he's practically speeding— you don't wish to push his limits even more than you already shouldn't have. 

and you know you shouldn't be shameless, but the situation had you in a tight spot. pissed off jay is…… something. 

you know wooyoung would have knocked some sense into you for being absolutely ridiculous at the worst moment but you couldn't help it. 

jay drives into your neighborhood and you've never been more glad to escape jay when you see your house come into view. 

when he parks, you hold onto the door handle but when you pull it, you realize the lock isn't unlocked. 

"can you unlock?" 

"no— not until we sort this out." 

"i don't want to talk or sort this out jay, there's nothing to address."

he turns to face you and your heart stops because one, he was insanely gorgeous under the streetlights and the led light in his Mercedes making him look so fucking hot, and expensive. 

even after getting soaked in the rain. 

"nothing to address? are you being dense on purpose or what— it's bothering me." 

you remain lip-tight shut, staring at him in silence before he speaks up again. 

"you didn't even hear me you, you just left like that do you know i felt? i was so fucking scared something might have happened to you—"

"when did you even care?" you laugh, and then turn to look at him. "why do you care? like i said, aren't we just friends with benefits, considering how all we've ever done is just fuck?" 

jay looks at you, hurt displayed all over his face but you go on.

"the fact you're acting like you care, it's giving me hope jay. you need to stop doing that and just tell right, what am i to you and what we are." you pause, "you— you're just, a summer fling." 

before you could sigh, your lips are taken by jay, catching you by surprise, but as always, like it always has been that way, you kiss him back. this time like it's your last kiss, like you're never going to kiss him ever again. 

jay slips his hand onto your cheek, holding your face as he moves his lips against yours, a tear slipping past your eyes, coating the previous rain water on your face. 

you both pull away, catching from each other's breath, foreheads leaning against each other. you look into his eyes and he's already looking at you, and your eyes get glossy as your heart breaks. 

you didn't quite understand what he was trying to tell, you didn't know if what you were doing was right as well. 

"look me in the eyes, y/n." he says, almost like a whisper in the defeating silence, the only sound is the sound of the raindrops hitting his car outside. "and tell me if what we had was nothing to you."

"and, if i really am— just a summer fling?" 

you go silent, your gaze falls to your hands and you nibble on your lower lip, trying to find words to tell him wrong but none comes into your mind. 

because everything you did with him was never, nothing. and jay, is simply not just a summer fling anymore.

maybe at the beginning he was, but overtime when time went on, everything between the two of you changed. 

because summer flings who fuck each other don't get butterflies from just holding hands, or do you come all the way to your home just because you said you're not feeling too well instead of just wishing a get well soon. 

summer flings who fuck who's hearts don't flip when they kiss each other, or get all giddy when one calls another by a sweet pet name.

nor do they get jealous when a third person comes into the relationship, nor to they find themselves explaining when not even needed, especially when all the other person to them is just a summer fling. 

"because to me you're not— just a summer fling, y/n. i've liked you since day one, ever since the day you spoke to me when sunghoon brought me back to your home for the first time ever." 

the feeling you're feeling right now making you want to pull in jay and kiss him, making all ends meet just to get him as yours— but, is that really how it is supposed to be? 

"w—we can't���" you trail off, sighing as you pull away your forehead from jay's. jay holds your hand, not letting you go, keeping you in his warmth on the cold rainy night. 

"is this because of sunghoon?" 

it's always been because of sunghoon. whenever it came to your private love life it had always been because of sunghoon. 

to the point where'd you think he just didn't want you to have a pleasant life, where you'd have a boyfriend in. but you understand where he's coming from, as a brother it's only natural he'd want to protect his sister from all those sleazy guys out there. 

but constantly wrecking every single chance you had? that's not it. 

and the fact jay is sunghoon's best friend doesn't help any better. 

your expression plastered on your face just says it all for jay, he sighs and pressed your hands together, giving you reassurance. 

"i'll take care of it, don't worry." 

"that's not it, jay. it's sunghoon…. i can't betray him like this.." 

"then what about you?" 

"what?" you blink, looking back up at him. 

"then what about yourself? it's always been like this, you've never actually done anything in favor for yourself, either sunghoon always held you back from it or you don't do it because of him." he says, "when will you start doing what your heart wants, y/n? sunghoon can't hold you back forever."  

"chose to do what your heart wants, y/n. it'll be worth it— like who you want to like, date who you want to date, go out with who you want to, kiss who you want to—" he pauses, then looks at you with a small smile. "only if that person is me or i'll side with sunghoon for this one." 

you let out a laugh, slapping jay's arm, heart fluttering at his words. he smiles when you do, his heart flutters when he heard your laugh after a while, giving him a sort of assurance. 

you look out the window, and see it's stopped pouring already, just light drizzling but safe enough to walk out in. 

"i should go now, it's getting late." you say, sighing as you go back into your dilemma. you place your hand on the handle, this time a whole different emotion that before. "i'll think about….. what you said, jay." 

he gives you a short smile before unlocking the door and getting out before you, then opening the door for you to step out on right after he ends the engine. when you step out, it's almost so chilly that you get goosebumps despite having jay's jacket around you.

he walks you up all the way to your doorstep, you give him a small look before heading in and a huge sigh leaves you. 

he's right, you should do what your heart desires, and you did either way this happening at some point in you two's relationship throughout summer. 

back then it was just a small thing, like— what sunghoon doesn't know wouldn't hurt him but things have changed. 

you two no longer are just two people who fool around, fucking. you're both now aware of the feelings towards each other, and if jay was ready to give it up, why couldn't you?

sunghoon is to worry about later, but now— if you don't make your move now, then you might just end up losing jay forever. 

you know what you want now, what your heart wants now— more than anything, for once & for all.

it's more than clear that he's not just a summer fling anymore, you turn around, fingertips wrapped around the door handle once again, before you pull it open and step out. 

jay's jacket falling off your shoulders, onto the floor before you step down the porch and run back to jay. 

your chest collides with his back as you wrap your arms around him, taking in his warmth again. 

caught by surprise jay turns around to see you, looking down at you in shock as to why you're hugging him just right after he sent you off. 

"y/n—"

"jay." 

"this is my answer." in a swift, you pull him by his shirt, connecting your lips with his, eyes fluttering shut while your hearts fluttered like butterflies had been set free in you. 

jay's lips turn upwards, smiling against yours, arms wrapping around your waist as he tilts his head for more access. jay pulls away first, letting his forehead rest against yours like moments from before, as you both catch your breaths. 

"i promise it'll be worth it." he says, muttering against your lips and looking up at you. 

"then," you say, pausing before you slip your hand under his shirt briefly, making him look down and then back at you. "prove it." 

smirking, he gives you a small kiss, before letting you take his hand in yours and lead you back into your house. 

maybe this once, you're grateful that your parents were away and sunghoon was nowhere to be found.

hands in each others grasp, you both head up the stairs, giggles heard as you both get into your room and jay locks the door behind you as soon as your back hits the wall. 

his lips immediately latch onto your neck while your hands trail up his chest then lock your hands behind your neck, gripping the hair on the nape of his neck.

jay holds your waist on one, the other on your neck. the moment you feel his touch on you, your body feels electrified with love and lust. the air is getting thick with tension and immediate lust. 

you've never felt more alive now, and so does jay now. he feels even more alive now, with his lips on your skin, hands around your body— he's never felt more alive ever, not even when he's on the tracks in his second most prized possession. 

but nothing can compare to you, for him, you're his number one priority and prized possession.

the both of you pull away and stare at each other when you two realise it's time you need more. but this time, it's more than just fucking— you're both making love, a genuine one. 

"up," jay mutters against your lips, before connecting it back again when you jump a little and he catches you. carrying you to the bed, he lays you down without breaking the kiss. 

the moment you do, jay only pulls away to practically tear his shirt off, leaning towards you on top of you.

"i'm yours to keep, and i'm yours to lose, y/n." he says, sighing in relief before placing his lips onto yours, again. "i'm— yours." 

SUNLIGHT BLOOMING INTO your room to through the seeps of your curtains seemed to be the first thing you see when you blink awake. you don't recall a good night's sleep like the one you just woke up from. 

for a moment you almost regret waking up from such a magnificent sleep, but when you shift to your right and met with what seemed to be hard as a walk of bricks, your regret is washed away almost immediately. 

rubbing your eyes, you blink a few more times to realize finally what it was. toned chest? a naked one too…. 

then it hits you. the memories from the night before.

"you're awake," 

your eyes widens and your heart beats like crazy at how raspy jay's morning voice was— so fucking hot. the wetness from last night almost came back between your thighs. 

"oh— uhm, yeah." you say, looking up at him, with a smile. he greets you with a small smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before sighing. 

"what?" you ask him, but he just shakes his head only to intrigued you more. "jay!" you tap his arm, but he shakes his head again. 

you sit up, pulling the sheets up with you to cover your chest as you're not dressed yet after last night's event. 

"you're telling me now or i'll kick you out." you say, with a pout which has jay almost kicking the air at, from how cute you looked like. 

"it's just— i'm a little jealous of people." 

"please elaborate jay," you say, eyebrows furrowed together. 

"how can they get to see your beauty for free— seriously, everyone should be paying to see you." he says, and a smile creeps up his face when your face heats up at the compliment.

you hit your pillow on him, laughing at the way he blocks it. "you're so corny!" 

"what! I'm just telling you the truth," he says, putting his hands up to defend himself before he sits up on the bed, the sheets covering up to his v line. 

you try to not lose your shit at how gorgeous he looked as well, the bed hair doing more than enough to make you want to punch your first in the air, fangirling about him. 

"well is it not true then?" he asks, smiling at you. "i'm pretty sure i can compliment my girl if i want to, and because she deserves it too." he shrugs. 

my girl. god, that only makes you want to kiss him so bad even more. 

but that makes you wonder— where do you both stand now, what exactly were you two now. 

"i can already tell what you're thinking, y/n." he says, pulling you towards him, making you sit on his lap as you look at him with those starry eyes. 

"you're like an open book, easy to read." he says, caressing your cheeks. "but, this is not the way i wanted to ask you out— i wanna do it in a more perfect way, not in the morning after i fucked your brains out." 

you push his arm slightly rolling your eyes at the mention of both of your actions last night. 

"but, to me," you pause. "anything is perfect when it's with you, jay." 

he smiles at you, his other hand holding your hand in his, thumb rubbing over your hand. 

"everything is perfect because you're already perfect, y/n." 

"i said stop being corny." 

"i'll be corny if i want to—cause no matter how corny it is, i mean every single one of it, love." he says, giggling. 

"but, i don't think i want to be just friends, or fuck buddies with you anymore, if it's not obvious yet." he says, smiling up at you as he speaks. "i want to be more than that. i want to do everything with you, even if i'm not your first, i want to be your last and forever y/n." 

you nod, tears brimming up in your eyes at his words, it's all perfectly overwhelming, just what you loved. 

"i'll promise to treat you right, i'll make you happy, and i promise to make every single moment with you worth it." he says, connecting his fingers between yours. "and you know, i always keep my words." 

"i know." you say, smiling back at him. 

"so what do you say, y/n y/l/n— will you, go out with me?" he asks, "a date you'll never forget, i swear." 

you blink away the tears, realizing perhaps maybe you're overreacting but truly, you've never felt this way towards anyone else before so it's only natural you're feeling this way at the moment. 

"my answer is…….." you trail off, looking at him before placing your hand on top of his chest, and then kissing him on the cheek. "yes." 

jay breaks out into a big smile, the one that makes your heartbeat faster and flutter. 

he couldn't ask for more than this moment. 

COUNTLESS OF DILEMMA have you encountered but nothing like the one you're having at the moment. 

which dress should you wear? 

jay told you he'd pick you up in the evening and you had barely even two hours left to get ready but you're having a dress crisis right now and you have no idea how to solve it. 

sure red complimented your skin tone but it's too bold for just a night out. but if you picked the white flowy one, it's too casual if he pulls up to a fancy restaurant which you'd feel too underdressed to. 

even after asking jay for the theme, he told you to dress whichever made you comfortable and not to worry much about the date.

but here you were, close to ripping your hair out because you needed to look gorgeous tonight. it's your first ever date with him.

eventually after a lot of procrastinating and debating with yourself, you decided to just go for the white sundress the simple choice is always the best— besides, it's broad daylight so you figured to not stress much about it, and even if jay took you to an expensive restaurant, it wouldn't matter, as long you're with him. 

by the time you were done, jay had arrived at your place and sunghoon was out again, so it just made sneaking out with jay easier. 

"holy…." jay gasps, hand flying to his mouth as he stares at you when he gets off leaning against his car. 

you immediately start to panic by how he's staring at you— were you not dressed for the occasion?

"what? am i in the wrong dress code?" you ask, your heart dropping at the thought of ruining the date already. 

"no…." jay finally speaks up, as his hand falls to his side and the other one holds a bouquet you hadn't noticed. "y/n, you're gorgeous." 

your lips curve up into a smile as your heart beats against its cage, so fast you're afraid it might burst out of you. 

"thank you, jay." you say, thanking him and then you take in his appearance. it's a surprise to you why he hasn't agreed to being a model at this rate despite being scouted by countless companies.

he seemed to look absolutely gorgeous as well in the white shirt with sleeves he had rolled up his arms showing off the hard work of him hitting the gym often with his black hair slicked back, one strand hanging out yet making him drop dead handsome. 

"you look amazing too," you say, coming up to him and pecking him softly on the lips before you two giggle at the adorableness. 

"here, i got this just for you, my beautiful girl." he says, handing you the bouquet of white roses, and god, did it make you feel like you were on cloud 9. 

"these are really pretty." you say, staring at them in awe, like it's the prettiest flowers you have ever seen in the entire planet earth. while on the other hand, jay was looking at you as if you were the most prettiest in the entire planet earth. 

"i know, but— nothing beats your beauty." 

"stop!!" you whine, getting embarrassed as you hide your face behind the bouquet, giggling when jay takes your hand in his. 

"god, you're so cute." he says, smiling at you before he ushers you into his car and you both set off for your date. 

you two stop by a bakery first, for a light breakfast because according to jay, you'd two be walking a lot and when you arrived at the destination, you finally understood why. 

you didn't know if he was aware of it, but he probably had no idea how long you desired a date like this, and how long it's been in your bucket list for. 

an aquarium date. 

you think you can gladly pass out in peace after the date. 

"huh?" you ask, looking at jay when he slings a small bag that seemed to be tiny and fitting for a camera— a camera case/bag?

"i brought it with me today, just for you, " he says, pointing at the camera with a smile. 

"oh, it looks really old though." you say, noticing how ancient it looked. perhaps it was passed down in his family? must be it, or he could've gotten a limited edition, antique one— it wasn't entire impossible. 

"yeah, it's my family's— a tradition actually." he says, and you nod along as jay proceeds to explain further. 

"in my family, there's this thing where for every first date moment, the guy in our family takes this camera along to capture the moment. at first i thought it was pretty much just a thing we had going on, but like— i heard it was also like a good luck item so, everyone who bought this along during their dates eventually got together in the end." 

"oooooh," you say, amazed at his explanation. "that sounds great! and very cute but—" you stop, and turn to look at him just as you both were about to enter the aquarium. 

"everyone really got together at the end?" 

jay smiles at you, then pats your head softly with love. 

"i see you in my future, so i hope that gives you an answer." he says, and the  takes your hand in his before taking you into the aquarium while hearts were practically flying around the two of you with big smiles plastered on each other's face. 

jay couldn't help but admire you the entire time, how cute you looked, staring at the sea life animals in awe with your starry eyes. the blue light radiating off the water in the dim made you look absolutely gorgeous. 

taking his camera up to his face to capture the moment, his heart dwells when you turn around in time with a big smile. 

click!

"hey! that's enough for me, let me take some of you!" you say, and practically forcing jay to give you the camera when he finally gave in, you made him stand right before the giant thick glass, just right behind a group of fish swimming back. 

such a perfect moment to be captured. 

click!

and in that moment, when he flashes his pretty smile, your heart skips a beat, and you realize that— you see jay in your future as well.

BY THE END OF THE DATE, you two were practically worn out, but by the sound of how loud your stomachs were growing, you two decided to bail out on a reservation jay made and quickly head to a nearby restaurant. 

good for the two of you, the place seemed to be good enough and it wasn't rush hour yet so you both immediately settled down in there. 

the waiter had successfully ushered you two to a table where you both sat down and enjoyed your meal for the most. 

"we got enough time," jay says, after chugging down his water. 

"enough time for?" you ask, staring at him and cheeks filled of food that jay finds undeniably adorable.

right after dinner, getting into his car, jay drove you to somewhere really far off the coast. you enjoyed the majority of the ride there, songs blasting as you both sang along to the lyrics and laughing each other's ass off at the wrong lyrics and broken high notes. 

"we're here." 

getting out of the car, you slip off your shoes and leave in his car before running off to the beach. jay follows behind you, with a smile on his face as he watches how gorgeous you looked so carefree, your hair caressed by the wind and your silhouette absolutely gorgeous.

beach trips at almost midnight might not be the most ideal but jay had remembered how you had it in your bucket list, so here he was with you, fulfilling it for you. 

he doesn't say anything when he catches up next to you, instead he just watched how you admire the ocean with sparkly eyes and how beautiful you looked at the moment wherein the moonlight reflecting on your face, brightening up the night.

"it's so beautiful," you say, taking in how beautiful the ocean looked in the eerie hours of the night. 

"yeah," he says. 

you turn to agree with him on the view but when you do, you're shocked to see him just looking at you with awe, instead of looking at the ocean. 

in midst of the sound of the waves moving around and water crashing off the shores, jay speaks up. and in that moment, everything else blocks out and all you hear is him, like it's only the two of you in the entire world. 

"stunning." 

flashing him a smile, you take his hand in yours, and the other cup his cheeks before you lean in and place your lips onto his. jay intertwined his fingers in yours, pulling you by your waist closer to him.

the adrenaline from your near fall is pumped through your system, pushing your heart rate into unhealthy territory. each movement is equivalent to the more your feelings get more in the moment.

you pull away first from out of breath but the way jay places a single kiss on your cheek and then pulling you into a hug convinced you that you'd continue the kiss if oxygen didn't matter. 

"i never want to lose you, y/n. i mean it." he says, and you wrap your arms around him. 

"i never want to lose you either, jay nor do i want to give you up in any circumstances." 

he pulls away and then looks at you. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way?" 

you give him a small squeeze on his arm before placing a small kiss on his cheek in return. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way." you say, and he pats your head softly, like he's caressing the world's best treasure. 

for some reason, the look he gives at the time, it gives you reassurance and hope that he truly means it, from the bottom of his. deciding to not say anything further you just give him a small smile.

turning around, he keeps his arms locked around your waist while you both stared off into the ocean, letting silence overtake the two of you. 

the night couldn't have ended any better. 

EVEN JAKE'S DEPARTURE hadn't hurt you as much as the news you had received from karina. that had only been the tip of the iceberg in the summer. 

"like it's supposed to be the time of our lives but leaving high school sounds unreal to me," wooyoung says, sighing against his seat in the diner. 

you twirl the straw in your smoothie cup with another sigh to accompany it.

"no for real, cause what are we actually gonna do when high school ends….. like grad and then!" he continues, mumbling in misery. 

you agree with wooyoung, the past few years had been so repetitive you're not sure if ending high school is a joyful experience or leaving you in a dilemma. 

perhaps back a few months ago when you were studying your ass off for finals, you might've been glad to end it for once and for all. 

but now that you're here, with your friends in a diner that had always been your local hangout spot, enjoying the very few last moments of you guys together. 

without, seeun. 

you've successfully avoided her for about a week now, and since you hit off with jay— but you do feel sad whenever she's not around whenever you guys would hang out at times. 

"uhm," you hear someone clear their throat and when you look up, your jaw almost drops to the floor. but you can't exactly blame yourself, wooyoung and karina had the exact same reactions as well.

"seeun?" 

as if the universe has been listening to your thoughts, you couldn't quite believe she was actually here after what had happened. and to be honest, the look she had plastered on her face, it was giving you mixed feelings. 

"sorry for showing up." .

"why are you sorry?" you ask, looking up at her as the other two stare at you, in shock. "you shouldn't be sorry for coming to hang out with your friends." 

"if anything, we should be sorry for not calling you along whenever y/n is with us…." karina says, finally popping the secret. she nudges wooyoung and he speaks up as well. 

"yeah, we just felt like you two needed time apart from each other…… after, what happened?" 

seeun just smiles at wooyoung and nods, not having any hard feelings. as rebellious as these two can be, seeun understands where wooyoung and karina are coming from. 

"i know, what you guys mean and where you guys are coming from.." she says, nodding. 

karina gives you a look you couldn't quite comprehend before she drags wooyoung to stand up with her and moves out of the booth before pushing seeun down to sit before you. 

"well, it seems like you guys need to have something to talk out, so we'll get going! just let us know when you guys are home!" karina says, and pulls wooyoung away after waving at you and seeun. 

"RINA NO I WANNA KNOW THE TEA—" wooyoung's screams are muffled as he gets further away from the booth leaving you two alone. 

sudden silence takes over you two as you both try to say something but nothing is leaving your mouths. when you decide to address the issue while picking at your nail, seeun seems to beat you to it. 

"i'm sorry." 

"seeun.." 

"no y/n, i just— hear me out first alright?" she says, and you just nod along as you listen to her before leaning back in your seat. 

"i am sorry, for what happened. i shouldn't have been selfish and just thought of myself and prioritized my feelings— i should have taken your feelings into consideration. and after, reflecting on what happened, i apologize for still bursting out at you, and still— growing feelings for you despite you making it clear that you were into jay, and getting mad at you for not acknowledging my feelings was just immature…" 

you two fall into another silence again before you understand that she's ready for you to response and say something back. 

"i, first of all— seeun, you shouldn't invalidate your feelings. your feelings must be an priority, of course to you, what i feel comes next— but i admit, i was offended at the fact you just bursted out at me like that but, still— saying you were selfish for liking me is unreasonable." you pause, giving her a small smile before continuing. 

"you can't help who you like, your heart wants what it wants, and you can't stop that. but just because you like someone, it doesn't necessarily mean they'd like you back." 

"you just said the most brutal thing in the most calm way, it helps with my heartbreak." seeun says, chuckling and you give her a sympathetic smile before putting your hand over the table and giving her a small squeeze. 

"i, will need some time. to move on from you, but you're a really great person, y/n— anyone would be beyond lucky to have you." 

you nod, smiling at her a little bit brighter. you just know jay would go frenzy to see you smiling like this at the moment. 

"and so are you, anyone would be blessed to have you as their partner— you're really amazing, but i'm sorry that person can't be me…" you say, whispering the last part but it doesn't go unnoticed by seeun. 

"cause that person for you, is already jay."

you look up, stunned at how she found out but she just laughs it off. 

"it's the talk of the town, even if you didn't tell me— i would've known either way, wooyoung has a big chatterbox mouth." 

you laugh at her commentary, before screaming your soul out when the mentioned boy jumps from behind your seat, scaring you in the process. 

"you're talking shit about me? really seeun, in my opinion you shouldn't be saying that when y—" 

karina walks up behind him, slapping his arm making him wince in pain. 

"tell me she isn't right, seeun you're so correct about that so ignore this menace." she says, and sitting next to seeun while wooyoung slips next to you in the booth. 

"were you eavesdropping wooyoung?" 

"what no!" 

"yes he was." 

you four burst into laughter when wooyoung's lie is immediately shut down by karina's truth. 

"ugh! you're just so!" 

"yeah yeah shut up!!!" 

"anyway, summer is ending soon," you say, cutting the two bickering friends off and they immediately turn their attention to you. "grad is soon, how do we feel about that?" 

"im sad," 

"no shit sherlock." 

and the conversation goes on for the rest of the day as you four catch up on all the missed contents and stuff you guys would usually catch up on, that you and seeun are finally on good terms again. 

however when you head back home and immediately receive a call from jay, you were definitely not expecting to see him showing up at your doorstep with a legit black eye in the middle of the night.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" 

jay walks into your house without a single explanation while you keep asking him on and on about what happened but he didn't budge until you got into your room, door locked. 

"are you not gonna say a thing? or do i have to figure it out myself before i lose my shit." you scoff, patience on this line and your heart aching when you see your boyfriend with a black eye clearly hurting.

jay sighs, and then takes your hand in his as he looks at you. 

with one eye. 

because it's really that severe. 

"just promise me you won't get mad." 

"just fucking tell me already!" 

he pauses, and then sighs before just deciding to pop the secret. "it's, sunghoon. he found out." 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you ask, in absolute shock that your brother would do this. 

"y/n, just calm down first— it's a given he got mad and—" 

"NO? IM NOT CALMING DOWN?" you scoff, yanking your hand off his grasp, stunned at how he's telling you to calm down. 

"y/n—"

"no, jay— listen, i am not calming down. that doesn't exist in my vocabulary at the moment because you can't fucking serious right now. sunghoon just gave you a fucking black eye and you're chill about it?" 

"well, at least you can brag that i took a swing for you." 

you sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you look back at him, not sure whether to get annoyed or to feel sorry that your brother gave him a black eye just because he found his best friend was fucking his little sister for an entirety of this summer. 

"I can't believe you're not being serious right now, i'm losing my mind jay— what if something else had happened? what if you got seriously hurt, like actually hurt? god, jay…" you whine, unable to look at him and the injury any longer so your eyes starts tearing him for him, it's as if the pain from the black eye he's feeling, you're feeling it too. 

"y/n," jay chuckles lightly, pulling you into a hug and rubbing his hand over your back, calming you down. "i'm sorry for making you worry, baby."

you hit his chest as you collected your tears, trying to not lose it even more that he's considerate of you, and making this about you instead of him, the one who got hurt in the first place. 

jay's light laugh vibrates through his chest making you pull away your head from his chest while still being in his hold with his arms around your body as you look up at him.

"don't worry, i'm really fine. it was expected for sunghoon to take a swing at me the moment he saw me at the arena, after hearing the news." jay, explains as he pats your head softly with a small smile. 

you sigh, the urge of crying finally leaves but rage takes over when you think of the audacity your brother has to do this. 

"im gonna fucking kill park sunghoon." 

jay pulls you back into a hug, laughing as he runs his fingers through your freshly washed hair. perhaps his fingers would smell like cherry and blossoms because of your conditioner, but he wouldn't mind when he smells like you. 

"you're so cute when you're mad." 

"don't get me started on you jay park, why didn't you punch him back! don't say you did, because i know damn well you didn't," your gaze flicks to his knuckles to find bruises but it was squeaky clean, and when you looked back jay is already looking at you dumb foundedly. 

"im not gonna punch sunghoon, y/n. not now, or ever." 

"will you just lose an eye to him then?" 

"if it means i can have his blessings to date his gorgeous sister." you glare at him with a slight pinch in his bicep that freaks him out. 

"you're so…" sighing you just decided to drop it, knowing jay and how he is, he'd probably figure a way outta this. "just, let's get you cleaned up AND THEN, we talk about this." 

you rush over to your bathroom and get the first aid kit under your sink, making your way back to jay. you make him sit on the edge of your bed as you get between his legs while he man spreads. 

the way his lips are turning upwards already makes you know what he's trying to do. 

"no funny business, park." you warn him, "or else your dick will be the one getting the first aid next." 

when you lean down towards him to treat his black eye, jay pecks you in a swift, catching you off guard.

"i said no funny business!" 

"this isn't funny business to me, i'm just kissing my girlfriend, is that funny to you?" 

"jay!" 

it was gonna be long night, for sure. 

WHEN SUNGHOON CAME HOME the next day, all you could see was red but sunghoon saw worse than red to see jay leaving your room right when was back home. 

"no fucking way— you're ridiculous." 

you and two turn around to find sunghoon staring at the two of you, baffled with his arms crossed. and that's when your blood starts boiling. 

"su—." 

"keep," sunghoon pauses, looking directly at jay and his treated wound, before turning to you with a scoff. "my s— your girlfriend out of this." 

"y/n." 

"jay, no." 

sunghoon just laughs dryly, shaking his head.

“a fucking lovers quarrel, this gotta be a dream." 

"sunghoon i'll fucking kill you if you say another word." 

"go ahead, kill me y/n. go and kill me, for your boyfriend that i clearly reminded you about thousands of times to stay away from— but sure, you chose to be an fucking idiot and still go against my words." 

"why should i listen to you!" 

"because im your fucking brother for god's sake and i know how my friends are that's why i told you to stay the fuck away from them!" sunghoon yells, throwing his helmet to the ground, making a loud thud echo through the house and jay pulling you behind him. 

sunghoon couldn't believe his eyes, did jay just shield you away from your brother. must be a sick ass joke he thinks you two are pulling.

"dude, keep it down." 

"keep it down? how do i keep it down seeing my own bestfriend go behind my back and date my sister that i clearly told him multiple times that she's off-limits?" sunghoon scoffs in disbelief, not seeming to calm down anytime soon either. "and my sister, betraying my trust and fucking around with my bestfriend? seriously?" 

"for god sake it's not a big deal, hoon! what's a big deal is the fact you gave jay a black eye, over this?" 

sunghoon rolls his eyes, and then glares at you and then jay. "surely it's not a big deal, you must've had so much fun making me a fool all this while right y/n? jay?" 

you open your mouth to speak up but jay beats you to it. 

"fucking hell dude, the only reason i'm holding back right now is her— stop being such an asshole and see the bigger picture, you're being an idiot." 

"an idiot? you wanna lose another eye, park?" 

"both of you, cut it out." you say, tears brimming up in your eye. 

"jay, just don't— and sunghoon, i'm speechless. you're being absolutely selfish right now, like you're not even thinking of me? about how i feel, about what i want— how is it just what you feel and what needs to go your way?" 

"you've never once thought about me, what i actually want— and the one time i can finally have it, you're out to ruin it? god, how much worse can this get? how far will you go to ensure i’m never happy, hoon?"

sunghoon immediately goes silent as he stares at you, heartbreaking in the process at tears streaming down your face. 

"at least, this time— just let me be it. whether i get my heart broken, or whatever that happens, i'll be glad i was happy even if it's for  a moment in summer. " you say, and wipe away your tears. you see sunghoon flinch to comfort you but he stops himself when he senses you not wanting to be near him anytime soon. 

moving aside from sunghoon, you take jay in your hand and lead him out of your house. when you head back to your room after bidding jay goodbye and convincing him you'd be fine after a lot of "are you sure?" and "i can stay, or you can come with me", he finally left. 

by the time you did, sunghoon was longer by the door anymore, you guess he had gone back to his room probably deciding to collect on his thoughts after the burst out. 

although it's supposed you make you feel relieved now that the cat is out of the bag, you somehow feel anxious about the outcome and how you're gonna have to cope with it by the time summer ends and you have to leave for college. 

"DUDE YOU'RE NOT LYING, RIGHT?" 

sunghoon stares at his friend who's looking back with shock and well, disappointment and the vague of tiredness shown on his face. 

well, who wouldn't be tired when they're woken up in the middle of the night by their friend showing up at their doorstep, looking like he had just murdered someone..

"yeah, i wasn't in the right state of mind." 

"no shit sherlock bro," jake  says, rubbing his hands over his face and then let's out another sigh. 

"well, my only advice is to accept it, hoon." he says, pausing, making sunghoon sit up from his laid down state. "i get where you're coming from and all with your brother instincts, and stuff— but on the brighter side, shouldn't you be grateful it's jay and not some other guy who you don't know?"  jake says, shrugging.

"like if you see, it's better that it's jay. you know him, he's your brother sunghoon— and you know you can count on him."

"you're not wrong." 

"i know, and besides, you can tell how much jay likes her, he doesn't seem to be letting go of y/n anytime soon, and most definitely not ever." jake says. "you gotta give him a chance, hoon— he's a great guy and y/n doesn't have a better option other than him, she truly likes him alot too." 

"wait—" sunghoon says, furrowing his eyebrows when it hits him. "YOU KNEW? ABOUT THEM?" 

jake blinks and before he could defend himself, he just decides to hear an earful from his friend, after all it's now or never.

"you were the only one oblivious to it— even heeseung knew something was up between the two." 

sunghoon groans, falling back onto jake's bed. 

"ah really? i feel like a total asshole now." 

"that's cause you are, now go talk it about with y/n. knowing her, she's probably contemplating to make it up with you as well, unless she's completely thrown off about you and this matter." 

sunghoon rolls over to the end of jake's bed and sighs. "you're right… i should've known better than to react like that." 

"oh yeah, and better make it up to jay too— for giving him an black eye." 

sunghoon looks up at jake and lets out a soft murmur that jake didn't bother to catch on knowing he complained about having to let go of his ego and speak to jay.  

"also, what are you doing up awake at 3 am in the morning?" sunghoon asks, furrowing his eyebrows at jake and jake only sighs in disappointment.

"i understand why you never caught onto y/n and jay." jake says, glaring at his friend with drowsy eyes. "you're a complete idiot." 

HEARING SUNGHOON come back home, you immediately rushed up to your room, nothing to hears thing from him— it's too soon to cave in, knowing how you've always forgiven sunghoon after fighting almost immediately, it won't be the same this time. 

not after assaulting jay and being a complete asshole about you wanting to be happy on your own. 

sunghoon 's hope flows down the drain when he hears your room door shut as soon as he enters the house, the frown on his face deepening. 

however just before he could go up the stairs he catches his friend in the kitchen, going to go up the stairs as well but stopping in his tracks when he spots sunghoon. 

the two stare at each other, in a awkward silence where jay wants to confront sunghoon but sunghoon contemplates whether he should speak first or not.

so he does. 

"can you spare me a second?" 

in his entire lifetime, this had to be the most awkward and silent situation he has ever been in with jay. usually he and jay would go on and off about just anything, they clicked like magnets but today— there was a different shift in the air considering the recent incidents. 

"w—" 

"h—" 

the two look at each other and immediately burst into laughs, stunned at how they both spoke up at the same time. 

"it's fine, you can have the first word dude." 

sunghoon feels the pile of guilt  in his stack up even more at how forgiving jay had sounded already. nodding, he sighs before speaking up. 

"i'm sorry. to start off, i'm sorry for everything, the other day." sunghoon says and jay nods, giving him a small comforting smile. 

"it was totally wrong on my side, for getting mad at you and… y/n. i didn't have a single right to be mad at what you guys wanted— and especially for….. that.." sunghoon says, scratching the back of his next awkwardly as he points at jay's healing bruised eye. 

jay just chucked, shaking his head at sunghoon's awkwardness in addressing the issue. 

"i understand why you guys his everything form me, seeing how i reacted that day, even if you guys told me i would've reacted the same— it's just, it's y/n." sunghoon explains, his heart aching at the same time. 

"she's just, i don't want her to end up hurt, by making the wrong choices— i care for her, i love her so much i just don't think i'll be sane if i ever see her hurting, hence the overprotectiveness over her had always been there, it's still there, but i'm putting down my ego this time." 

"i want y/n to be happy, and if this is what makes her happy, then that's what it is. i won't be oppressed to it— y/n's a smart girl, she knows what to do— but if, you hurt her man, consider us done, and you'll be receiving a gift from me, again." 

jay just stares at sunghoon and sunghoon cracks a smile. 

"just kidding, that's not gonna happen but, still— keep in mind if you ever hurt her, you'll face the consequences man." sunghoon says and jay just nod along, taking notes mentally to never hurt you, not that he intends to anyway. 

"on the other hand, i want you to have the best as well man, i want you to be happy and if my sister makes you the happiest man in the world then i wish you the best of luck!" 

jay laughs, patting sunghoon's back before he speaks up with a short smile as you get on his mind. 

"you're right, she does indeed make the happiest man ever— if happiness was a person, it'll be her anyday. " jay says and catches on sunghoon trying to not gag at the sappy shit his friend was spewing, as they both laugh it off. 

"and thanks, for understanding hoon. i'm sorry for going behind your back and having this all happened, it's wrong on my side too." 

the two of the just nod, finally taking in that now that the air is cleared, "so, we good now?" 

jay asks sunghoon, immediately being welcomed with a smile and huge hug, taking his homie into his arms. 

"congrats man, for bagging  the best girl out there for you." 

"thanks dude, now" jay pulls away, looking at sunghoon. "y/n's turn, talk it out with her." 

SUMMER WENT BY QUICKLY as quick as it started, because it surely felt like it was yesterday you and your friends were out of school and sunghoon, jay and jake being back in town. 

speaking of sunghoon, it's also been approximately a few weeks since he made up with you and like the saying goes, blood is always thicker than water. 

but, you didn't cave in as easily and quickly, but it was still quick and you missed your best friend and brother. 

“y/n." 

when you turn around to see your brother, your heart sinks and you move out of his way, walking out of the living room but he holds you back. 

"please, stop ignoring me." 

you scoff, looking at him and the guilt and regret is just plastered on his face that the hatred and pain in your just decreases. 

"what do you want?" 

"i want to talk it out, and apologize." 

you look at him for a moment before agreeing, having no choice but to settle it now. you didn't want sunghoon to go back to uni with unsolved and hard feelings between you both, and you parents were also telling you guys to sort it out as it was making every family meal time awkward and it was definitely making them frustrated. 

settling down in the living room, sunghoon speaks up. from a to z, he apologizes full heartedly and you hear him out until the end, not saying anything nor showing at sort of reaction until he was done.

"i don't expect you to forgive me soon y/n, but at least—" 

"im not forgiving you anytime soon— but i'm sorry as well." you say, looking down onto your hands on your lap. sweaty from the nervousness. "it was wrong on my side too, for going behind your back to screw around with jay and hiding everything from you despite knowing i was betraying you the whole time." 

sunghoon pulls you into an hug almost immediately, catching you by surprise but nevertheless you wrap your arms around him. 

feeling at ease almost immediately, this felt like home and you had missed it so, so much. 

"as you're happy y/n," sunghoon says, smiling as he hugs you tighter, finally making up with his sister, or so he thought. 

"im not forgiving you yet—if you're genuine, you can start with, getting me any of the jungkook pc's on my wishlist." 

"WHAT!" 

"do you want to be forgiven or not, hoon?" 

"fine…. i'll think about it." 

the hug from sunghoon seemed to have helped with how rough some parts of the summer has been and how rough it's gonna get in the following final week. 

the worst part of the summer has always been the ending. 

you had your graduation later on the week and at the same time, the boys were going back to campus the day after. 

as much as it sucks, life goes on and it shows how only in the end only memories are left behind, to be remembered. 

"are you okay?" jay comes up behind you, pulling you into a hug from the back. only a few minutes ago, the boy behind you had sneaked into your room in the eerie hours of the night where you hoped only the two of you were awake. 

because it was gonna be a hassle for jay to rush out just in case one of your parents or sunghoon walks in. 

and you didn't want him to leave either, you wanted to make up the rest of the summer spending the best quality time with jay. 

because the thought of losing him the moment summer ends, it just simply scares you. 

"you've been spacing out for awhile now," 

you turn around with a small smile that jay immediately realizes is not genuine, so he takes your hand in his. 

"something's up, what is it baby?" 

you bite your lip before you speak up, holding his hands in yours. 

"i was just thinking of what's gonna happen when this week ends." you say, sighing by the end of it.

"you're graduating."

"that's not it," 

"then? you're finally out of that hell hole?" 

"no, that's not it too…." 

"th—" 

"it's you. you're leaving." 

jay looks at you, blinking when he remembers that he's leaving by the end of the week as well. that's when he also realized how he won't get to hold you like this anymore, or kiss you whenever he wants to, or touch you, or have you underneath him, or take you out on dates, or hear your laugh, or see you. 

perhaps for the time being, you both don't know what the future has in store for the two of you. 

however, despite that, jay knows that you still can't help but think of cons of the summer ending. 

"and?"

you blink, looking at jay in confusion, not sure if he heard what you had said or not. 

"you're leaving jay," 

"okay, and? that's not going to change anything between us baby." he says, leaning down to your level, with a sweet smile. 

"i'm still going to love you like i always have, my feelings for you will never change, if anything— it'll grow even more, because i'm never going to ever stop loving you," he says. 

"but i get your point, we're gonna be apart, i’m gonna go back to campus and you're gonna start applying for university, we'll get busy and you're worried about falling off? right?" 

it's like he can read you like an open book, you nod at your boyfriend. 

"don't worry, we're not gonna fall off." he says, patting your head. "i'm gonna make it work, we'll make it work. even if i’m a million miles away from you— you'll forever be my favorite girl, the one i wanna hear my good mornings from and the one i wanna hear good job you did well, all my goodnight from  and most importantly," he pauses to kiss faintly on your forehead. 

"the only one i want to get i love you's from." 

you smile shyly, trying to not blush at his sweet talking. but it's true, what he said it's vice versa. he's the one you need at the end of the way, he's the one you want to kiss in the summer rain, he's the one you want to capture so much of memories with, he's the one you want to give a victory kiss to and most importantly, he's the one you want to tell all your i love you's to. 

with a small kiss back on his lips, you pull him into a hug, taking in his warmth as it radiates comfort and peace. 

"i'm gonna miss you so, so much, jay." 

"and im gonna miss and love you all the way from there, y/n." 

just like that, days went by and here you were, on standby in the dress jay had gifted you and the graduation robe in top as you try to not pass out from the nervousness. 

this was the moment you waited for your entire high school life, the times when you were sobbing over math work and wished how you wanted to graduate and leave the hell hole soon.

it was finally happening. 

"Y/N, Y/L/N." 

going up the stage, you saw your entire high school life flash before you as you were greeted by the principal and he handed you the certificate and scroll with congratulations. 

when you got off the stage you were immediately greeted by your parents, pulling you into a hug and cheering congratulations you finally did it. 

"save some for us!" you pull away and see wooyoung running towards you with his arms in the air as karina and seeun chasing behind him. 

your bodies collide as you guys do a group hug, congratulating each other while wooyoung was full on sobbing his eyes out from you're not sure either not scoring choi san or if he was proud of himself for getting through the entire hell of a high school. 

"bitchless and graduated!" 

"that's both a W and L but me too," seeing agrees with wooyoung and those two pull each other into a hug as they cry on each other's shoulders. 

karina and you laugh at those two, heart warm and fuzzy from the overwhelming emotions taking over. 

"we're finally done huh?" 

"yup, don't and over with." you agree, smiling at her. 

"you don't have to cry about the pending assignments anymore."

"and you don't have to cry about getting the worst partner for projects and having to do all the work." 

karina gasps and cheers. "FUCKING FINALLY  IM FREE FROM THAT SHIT!" 

you laugh at her overjoyed state, too indulge in it to not acknowledge the figure next to you, pulling you in a side hug. 

"HOON!" 

"congratulations loser." he says, and pulls you into a full hug this time, catching karina waving at you before she disappears into the crowd. 

"thanks," you say, pinching his bicep making him wince but he smiles at you in pure proudness. 

"you're all grown up now, time flies fast." 

"you sound like a hag hoon, and we're barely a few years apart…" you grimace, shaking your head at how sappy he was, but deep down it made you happy.

"still, my little menace is all grown up now.." he says, and smiles at you. patting your head he says, "im so proud of you, you made it y/n."

you two just smile, and hug once more before your parents call sunghoon leaving you in the crowd alone as your eyes look around for a pair of eyes you wanted to meet so bad. 

and when you do, you feel like your entire world just froze, and it was only the two of you, a moment only of the two of you, and only for you two. 

jay walks towards you, looking like the most beautiful person you have ever seen, a bouquet in his hand that anyone would scream in awe at how gorgeous it looked— but to you, nothing was as gorgeous as the way he was looking at you with so much love and the pretty smile on his lips. 

"i hope im not too late." 

you smile, giggling as you shake your head. "no, you are not. you're just in time, if anything." 

jay smiles back at you, and then looks at the bouquet in his hand, handing it to you. 

"congratulations, my beautiful love." 

you look at the bouquet, close up it looked breathtaking, but the one handing it to you was even more breathtaking. 

"thank you," you smile, taking the bouquet from him. 

"you look gorgeous today, y/n." he says taking your hand in his, smiling at you ear to ear as he admired your beauty. 

he knew his choice has never gone wrong, but seeing you in a dress he had gifted you, you made the dress look like the most beautiful dress in the world worn by the most beautiful girl ever.

"thank you— you look amazing as well." 

"well, it's to impress my beautiful girlfriend that i very much love wholeheartedly."

"oh really? she must be really grateful then," you pause, pulling him closer by his wrist. "for having the most beautiful boyfriend in the world as well." 

closing the remaining gap between you two, jay slips his arm around your waist, pulling you into a kiss where the two of your lips move against each others gracefully. 

connecting your fingers between his, as the two of you kiss is making the butterflies in your tummy grow ten times more. 

pulling away as you two catch after your  breaths, forehead leaning against each other.

"I'm so proud of you, your congratulatory gift is after the match tonight," 

"any hints?" 

"you and i both are gonna love it and have so much fun." 

 "YOU GOT THIS PARK. YOUR FINAL GAME FOR THE SUMMER." 

jay gives sunghoon a tight lipped smile, nodding as his best friend encourages him. 

"and aim straight for the finish line."  

"you know me man, i never miss." jay replies, chuckling dryly while his eyes still wanders around the stadium, feeling anxiously nervous. 

"you seem like you're gonna miss tonight though," sunghoon says, crossing his arms displeased. jay looks back at him and then sighs. 

"if you're looking for y/n i think she's prolly wasted— she and her friends are out partying and i d—"

"found her." jay says, a smile immediately growing on his lips. he winks at sunghoon before heading over to you. "catch ya later hoon." 

he had been worried all night, worried you wouldn't had make it in time for the match he wanted you to be at. after all, it's the final one for the summer, and it's the first ever match he's had a girl wanting to cheer him on for. 

you rush over to your boyfriend, cheeks flushed and hair bit of a mess from all the head bopping back at wooyoung's house, getting wasted from the after party. 

you were drunk, but sober enough to be aware of your surrounding yet still drunk enough to wanting to sob over how gorgeous of a man, jay is. 

with his disheveled hair blowing slightly in the wind, and cheeks flushed probably from the chill breeze of the summer, and how fucking hot he looked in his racing attire with an helmet held around his waist. 

"hey baby, i thought you were gonna miss out on me." jay greets, smiling brightly at you, his cheeks starting to ache already. 

you seemed to look so beautiful under the lights in the stadium, making you look as gorgeous as ever. with the way your cheeks were flushed, jay figured you were probably wasted, but cutely.

"i'd never, im sorry im a little late though," you giggle, "if i reek of alcohol im sorry, again— the after-party was crazy, i wasn't gonna get wasted but im not too drunk ei—" 

"you're so cute." 

"what?" 

"you're so cute my heart can burst," jay says, chuckling at you as he ruffles your hair and then cups your cheek in his hand. "it's fine baby, no worries. as long you're here, it's all that matters." 

"ahhh you're so!" you whine, hiding your face from how he was making you blush. jay laughs, pulling away your hand. 

"stop hiding your face," he says, giggling when your try to fight him back but it was to no avail. 

"jay, you're on next!" sunghoon calls for jay, waving at him and the pointing onto the tracks which jay nods and then turns back to you. 

"i gotta go," he says, and then leans down to your level, looking into your bright eyes. "cheer me on?" 

you smile, nodding and then lean forward and place a peck on his lips. 

"you got this, goodluck my baby." 

placing another peck back, jay pulls away and puts on his helmet, does some adjustment and heads over to sunghoon before getting into his car. 

you watch him for a second before heading over to the VIP section where jay said he had a sport reserved for you at. however when you got there, you weren't really expecting to see someone. 

"HEE?" 

"y/n!" he smiles, standing up and giving you a brief hug, then leading you to your spot next to him. 

"i wasn't really expecting to see you here," you say, chuckling as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as it was getting your view. 

"me neither, but hoon forced me to be here and i figured why not— it's my final night here, im leaving next morning back to the town." 

you nod, oohing him and then focus back onto the game when you hear the announcement of the race starting.

"1, 2, 3!" 

the entire arena lights up and going crazy, cheering for their choice when the racers are off the starting line, onto the tracks. you keep your gaze focused on jay's car, cheering him on along side with heeseung in the cube. 

sunghoon was cheering jay on even more, standing by the front with his arms crossed like he's the boy's coach. 

"are you cold?" 

y/n turns to face heeseung who's already taking off his jacket for you, catching you by surprise, not knowing heeseung had realized how you've been shivering slightly from the AC in the tube. 

"oh, uhm—" 

"just take it, you're shaking." heeseung says, and drapes the jacket over your body and you just give him a short smile and nod before the two of you are startled by the crowd groaning and sunghoon scoffing. 

"shit! man keep your head fucking straight! you're all over the place!" he grunts, displeased at the turn jay just took that erupted his fans and your brother. 

clearly he wouldn't have if he didn't catch heeseung putting his fucking jacket over his girl. it somehow seemed to have piss him off although he's truly aware that heeseung has no intentions of hitting on you, but you can never actually trust men. 

"fuck," jay breathes, taking a sharp turn overtaking the rest of the racers and the way his lips curved up into a smirk when he neared the end of the straightaway. 

the cheers in the arena got louder and you along with the rest were on the edge when another racer catches up to jay. 

"fuck he's gotta make it," you say, worried as the two seem to be on their extreme speed. nibbling on your lips, you watch the race, chest heaving up and down anxiously. 

jay's steps on the fuel, overtaking the other racer speeding past the finish line, his adrenaline fueling his heart to beat rapidly and on cue, the announcers announce the win as the entire arena cheer and fireworks in the arena go off. 

jay's grip loosens on the steering wheel as he waits for the voice to come in through his helmet headset. 

"thirty six seconds," catching onto that jay finishes a few cool-down laps and then gets off the track after stopping his car. as soon as he gets down he finds you running out of the cube, heeseung's jacket falling off your shoulders and for some reason it makes his ego inflate. 

jay takes off his helmet and tosses it off to a extremely happy sunghoon who's too busy to worry about his sister and his best friend about to make up right Infront of him. 

"YOU DID IT!" you cheer, running towards him and collapsing right into his arms, gripped right around your body as he twirls you around. 

time stands still and it feels like it's only the two of you, hearts eating against your ribcages, cheeks aching from how hard you two were smiling, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the night couldn't feel anymore alive and better. 

pulling away, jay is still holding onto you as you two giggle, looking into each others eyes. 

with a smile, you cup jay's face and pull him into the sweetest kiss of the entire summer. a kiss filled with so much of young love, so much of happiness, proudness, so much of joy— a kiss that's for sure to be remembered. 

with your foreheads leaning against each other, you smile at the extremely happy and smile jay. 

"the victory kiss. you did so well baby," you say, and place a kiss on his forehead, arms locked around his neck. 

"god i'm so in love with you." he says, and leaning in, kissing you with his arms wrapped around your waist, dress flowing in the breeze and the warmth radiating of your skin, this is home for him. 

"are you two gonna cut it out or?" 

"we're not," jay says, looking at sunghoon who's clearly not amused with the two of sucking off each others face as if he wasn't just jumping off the ground, too joyfull from his best friend's win. 

"wh—" 

"give me the box." 

"what box?" 

"the one i gave you earlier, idiot!" jay hisses and sunghoon nods in realization, fishing out the tiny box from his pocket and handing it to jay. 

jay takes it from him and opens it up, revealing a carved necklace with the two of your names and stars decorated around it. so simple yet so meaningful that it's starting to bring up tears in your eyes and you feel like you're completely sober now. 

"may i?" he asks, taking out the necklace and then you nod, fisting your hair and letting him put the necklace around your neck. 

"it's… beautiful." 

"yeah, like you." 

you smile looking up at him. 

"i got you this, cause i 'm leaving for now— but i'm always gonna be here with you." he says, touching the necklace around your neckline. "always." 

"im gonna make us work, im never going to stop loving you because like i said, im gonna love you till the end. there's nothing that's impossible for us, and i need you y/n." he says, rubbing his thumb against your cheek when he cups your face once again. 

"if the multiverse is real, i want to be with you in every each of it. and love you to the fullest in every each of it, i'll prove it." 

closing your eyes, tears fall down your cheeks. holding in your sob, you nod profusely, smiling at jay, the absolute love of your entire life. 

"i love you." 

"i love you too, and more." 

giggling, the two of your kiss once more and pull into a big hug. 

"so it's final?" heeseung judges sunghoon who seemed up have teared up as well, from how happy his both sister and best friend were in the moment, absolutely admiring them. 

"yup, it's final." 

and like jay said, you too— hoped that if the multiverse is real, you want to be with him, and love him to the fullest in every each of it. because you'll always chose him. 

your summer fling. 

you couldn't have asked for a better summer, and this one, has yet to be best so far. best memories with the best friends of yours, the best brother you could ever ask for— 

and again, the best summer fling— the best boy you love wholeheartedly, you could ever ask for. 

[artemistudying]

hi! can i have amini playlist for my name? (ching) lowkey loves shawn mendes btw ^ ^

hiya there!! yeah, sure! (yeps, will keep that in mind 😉)

c- carolina (harry styles)

h- happier (ed sheeran)

i- i know what you did last summer (shawn mendes & camila cabello)

n- not today (bts)

g- good for you (seen gomez & a$ap rocky)

want a mini playlist?

[justthenshefell]

thank you @delphinelacroix for tagging me! 

Rules: Spell out your URL using song titles. Then, tag as many people as there are letters in your URL.

Jack & Diane - John Mellencamp

U Can’t Touch This - MC Hammer

Starting From Scratch - Carl Broemel

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

The Entertainment’s Here - AJR

Harry - Kelsey Karter

Ever After - Marianas Trench

Nervous - Shawn Mendes

Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch - The Four Tops

Here I Go Again - Whitesnake

Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran

Faith - George Michael

Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! At The Disco

London Boy - Taylor Swift

Last Year - Sonreal

tagging: @atlalovingfuck and @formysisterbrobro and anyone else that wants to play!

[the-type-a]

PART TWO!

Side To Side - Ariana Grande

Silver Ecstasy - NeverShoutNever

Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Sledgehammer - Fifth Harmony

Slow Hands - Niall Horan

Slow Motion - Trey Songz

S&M - Rihanna

Smack That - Akon, Eminem

Someone Like You - Adele

Sorry - Justin Bieber

Sorry - Beyoncé

Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato

So Sick - Ne-Yo

Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes, Adam Levine

Stitches - Shawn Mendes

Stockholm Syndrome - One Direction

Strip The Down - Liam Payne

Strong - One Direction

Stuck On A Feeling - Prince Royce

Stutter - Maroon 5

Sucker - Jonas Brothers

Sugar - Maroon 5

Summer Love - One Direction

Sweet Caroline - Glee Cast

Talk Dirty - Jason Derulo, 2 Chainz

Tattoo - Jordin Sparks

Tattooed Heart - Ariana Grande

Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

Telephone - Lady Gaga, Beyoncé

Tell Me You Love Me - Demi Lovato

Temperature - Sean Paul

Te Pido Perdon - Tito “El Bambino”

thank you, next - Ariana Grande

That’s What I Like - Bruno Mars

The One That Got Away - Katy Perry

The Way - Ariana Grande, Mac Miller

The Way I Loved You - Taylor Swift

They Don’t Know About Us - One Direction

Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran

This Love - Maroon 5

This Town - Niall Horan

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

Through the Dark - One Direction

Thunder - Boys Like Girls

Time Travel - NeverShoutNever

Tonight - Enrique Iglesias

Too Good at Goodbyes - Sam Smith

Too Much Too Ask - Niall Horan

Touchin On My - 3OH!3

Touch It - Ariana Grande

Toxic - Britney Spears

Trampoline - Zayn, Shaed

Travesuras - Nicky Jam

Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes

Trouble - NeverShoutNever

Troublemaker - Olly Murs, Flo Rida

Tu Principe - Prince Royce

Un Beso - Aventura

Unforgettable - French Montana, Swae Lee

Up - Justin Bieber

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift

We Belong Together - Mariah Carey

We Found Love - Rihanna, Calvin Harris

We Made It - Louis Tomlinson

Wet Dreamz - J. Cole

Whatcha Say - Jason Derulo

What Do You Mean? - Justin Bieber

Whatever You Like - T. I.

When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars

Where Do Broken Hearts Go - One Direction

White Horse - Taylor Swift

With You - Chris Brown

Wolves - One Direction

Wolves - Selena Gomez

Woman - Harry Styles

Worth It - YK Osiris

Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus

XO - Beyoncé

You and I - Lady Gaga

You & I - One Direction

You Make Me Feel - Cobra Starship, Sabi

Youngblood - 5 Seconds of Summer

You’re Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

Can you post your Duncney playlist since I don’t have Spotify? Please!

Of course! (I might have to do it in two parts so make sure to check the RBs!)

3:00am - Finding Hope

5 O’Clock - T-Pain, Lily Allen, Wiz Khalifa

7 Things - Miley Cyrus

About You Now - Miranda Cosgrove

Alive - One Direction

All I Ever Wanted - Basshunter

All I Do is Dream of You - Emilie Claire Barlow

All That Matters - Justin Bieber

Almost is Never Enough - Ariana Grande

A.M. - One Direction

Amnesia - 5 Seconds of Summer

Anaconda - Nicki Minaj

Animal - Neon Trees

Animals - Maroon 5

Apologize - OneRepublic

As Long As You Love Me - Justin Bieber

A Thousand Years - Christiana Perri

A Whole New World - Mena Massoud, Naomi Scott - Aladdin

Baby Boy - Beyoncé, Sean Paul

Backseat - New Boyz

Back to Sleep Remix - Chris Brown, Usher, Zayn

Back to You - Louis Tomlinson, Bebe Rexha

Bad Boy - Cascada

Bad Decisions- Ariana Grande

Bad Liar - Selena Gomez

Beauty And A Beat - Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj

Beauty and the Beast - Ariana Grande, John Legend (also Disney Version)

Bedrock - Young Money, Lloyd

Bedroom Floor - Liam Payne

Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson

Best I Ever Had - Drake

Better in Time - Leona Lewis

Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

Better Than Words - One Direction

Bound 2 - Kanye West

Bow Chicka Wow Wow - Mike Posner, Lil Wayne

Boyfriend - Ariana Grande, Social House

Boyfriend - Justin Bieber

Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz

Can I Have This Dance - High School Musical 3

Can’t Stand It - NeverShoutNever

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Check Yes, Juliet - We the Kings

Close - Nick Jonas

Closer - Ne-Yo

Closer - The Chainsmokers

Cold - Maroon 5

Come Back to Me - Vanessa Hudgens

Come & Get it - Selena Gomez

Complicated - Avril Lavigne

Confident - Justin Bieber

Contagious - Avril Lavigne

Controlla - Drake

Corazon Sin Cara - Prince Royce

Crazy - Prince Royce

Crazy in Love - Beyoncé, Jay Z

Criminal - Britney Spears

Crush - David Archuleta

Dangerous - Prince Royce, Kid Ink

Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande

Dear John - Taylor Swift

Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

Despacito Remix - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee, Justin Bieber

Dile al Amor - Aventura

Dirty Little Secret - The All-American Rejects

DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love - Usher

Does He Know? - One Direction

Doin’ Dirt - Maroon 5

Don’t Forget - Demi Lovato

Don’t Stop - 5 Seconds of Summer

Don’t Stop the Music - Rihanna

Down - Jay Sean, Lil Wayne

Drunk In Love - Beyoncé, Jay Z

Dusk Till Dawn - Zayn, Sia

Earned It - The Weekend

El Amor - Tito “El Bambino”

El Amor Que Perdimos - Prince Royce

El Malo - Aventura

Eres Mia - Romeo Santos

E.T - Katy Perry, Kanye West

Everytime We Touch - Cascada

Fallin’ For You - Colbie Caillat

Familiar - Liam Payne

Feelings - Maroon 5

Fifteen - Taylor Swift

First Time - Liam Payne

Flicker - Niall Horan

fOoL fOr YoU - Zayn

Fool’s Gold - One Direction

For The Nights I Can’t Remember - Hedley

Friends - Justin Bieber, BloodPop

FU - Miley Cyrus, French Montana

Genie In a Bottle - Christina Aguilera

Get Back - Demi Lovato

Gimme More - Britney Spears

Girls & Boys - Good Charlotte

Girls Like You - Maroon 5, Cardi B

Give It Up To Me - Sean Paul

Give Me Everything - Pitbull, Ne-Yo, Afrojack, Nayer

Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects

Good Girl Gone Bad - Rihanna

Good Girls - 5 Seconds of Summer

Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship, Leighton Meester

Gotta Go My Own Way - High School Musical 2

Half a Heart - One Direction

Handcuffs - Prince Royce

Hands to Myself - Selena Gomez

Hate That I Love You - Rihanna, Ne-Yo

Heartbreak Girl - 5 Seconds of Summer

Heartless - Kanye West

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here - Ed Sheeran

Here We Go Again - Demi Lovato

Hero - Enrique Iglesias

Hips Don’t Lie - Shakira, Wyclef Jean

History - One Direction

Hold It Against Me - Britney Spears

Home With You - Liam Payne

Hot Mess - Cobra Starship

Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - Zayn, Taylor Swift

I Fall Apart - Post Malone

If I Can’t Have You - Shawn Mendes

I.F.L.Y - Bazzi

I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace

I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift

I Know You Want Me - Pitbull

I Like It - Enrique Iglesias

I’ll Take You There - Sean Paul

I Love You 5 - NeverShoutNever

I’m a Slave 4 U - Britney Spears

I’m Yours - Jason Mraz

In My Feelings - Drake

In My Head - Jason Derulo

Into You - Ariana Grande

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

Irreplaceable - Beyoncé

I See the Light - Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi

I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany

I Wanna Love You - Akon, Snoop Dogg

I Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz

I Won’t Say (I’m in Love) - Hercules

Jealous - Nick Jonas

Juego Prohibidos - Nicky Jam

Jungle - Drake

Just Like You - Louis Tomlinson

Just the Girl - The Click Five

Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne

Kill My Mind - Louis Tomlinson

Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran

Kiss Me Kiss Me - 5 Seconds of Summer

Kiss Me Thru the Phone - Soulja Boy, Sammie

Kiss the Girl - Samuel E. Wright - The Little Mermaid

Kiwi - Harry Styles

La Bella Y La Bestia - Romeo Santos

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

Let Me - Zayn

Let Me Love You - DJ Snake, Justin Bieber

Let Me Love You - Mario

Lights Up - Harry Styles

Like I’m Gonna Lose You - Meghan Trainor, John Legend

LIKE I WOULD - Zayn

Listen To Your Heart - DHT, Edmee

Little of Your Time - Maroon 5

Little Things - One Direction

Love While We’re Young - One Direction

Llevame Contigo - Romeo Santos

Love Me Harder - Ariana Grande, The Weekend

Love More - Chris Brown, Nicki Minaj

Love On the Brain - Rihanna

Love On Top - Beyoncé

Love Song - Sara Bareilles

Love Story - Taylor Swift

Love The Way You Lie - Eminem, Rihanna

Love You Goodbye - One Direction

Love You Like A Love Song - Selena Gomez

Lucky Strike - Maroon 5

Mad - Ne-Yo

Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5

make up - Ariana Grande

Mercy - Shawn Mendes

Midnight Memories - One Direction

Mine - Taylor Swift

Mine - Beyoncé, Drake

Misery - Maroon 5

Miss Independent - Ne-Yo

Miss You - Louis Tomlinson

Moments - One Direction

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

My Boo - Usher, Alicia Keys

My Favorite Part - Mac Miller & Ariana Grande

My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

Nice To Meet Ya - Niall Horan

Needed Me - Rihanna

Need You Now - Glee Cast

Neighbors Know My Name - Trey Songz

New Rules - Dua Lipa

Next To You - Chris Brown, Justin Bieber

Night Changes - One Direction

No Air - Chris Brown, Jordin Sparks

No Control - One Direction

No One - Alicia Keys

Odio - Romeo Santos, Drake

OMG - Usher, will.i.am

Once in a Lifetime - One Direction

One Dance - Drake, Wizkid, Kyla

One More Night - Maroon 5

One Thing - One Direction

One Thing Right - Marshmello, Kane Brown

Only Angel - Harry Styles

Only Girl - Rihanna

On The Loose - Niall Horan

Ordinary People - John Legend

Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

Partition - Beyoncé

Payphone - Maroon 5

Perfect - One Direction

Perfect - Ed Sheeran

Photograph - Ed Sheeran

Picture to Burn - Taylor Swift

PILLOWTALK - Zayn

Pills N Potions - Nicki Minaj

Please Don’t Go - Mike Posner

Polaroid - Liam Payne, Jonas Blue, Lennon Stella

Pop Princess - The Click Five

Potential Breakup Song - Aly & AJ

Princesita - Aventura

Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado, Timbaland

Promise - Romeo Santos, Usher

Propuesta Indecente - Romeo Santos

Red - Taylor Swift

Reply - Iyaz

Right Here, Right Now - High School Musical 3

Right Now - Akon

Rocket - Beyoncé

Rock Me - One Direction

Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake

Rolling in the Deep - Adele

Rude - MAGIC!

Rude Boy - Rihanna

Same Old Love - Selena Gomez

Say OK - Vanessa Hugdens

Senorita - Shawn Mendes, Camila Cabello

Set Fire to the Rain - Adele

Shake It - Metro Station

Shape of You - Ed Sheeran

She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds of Summer

She’s Kinda Hot - 5 Seconds of Summer

[jessicakehoe]

Bianca Andreescu Ruled the Internet This Year as the Most-Mentioned Canadian Athlete on Twitter

Bianca Andreescu has had quite the year. The 19-year-old Mississauga-born tennis player won the Rogers Cup against Serena Williams, became the first Canadian to win a US Open Grand Slam singles title and launched a vegan beauty line so it’s no wonder she turned out to be the Canadian athlete with the most account mentions in 2019. Interestingly, this is the first time a woman has been the most-mentioned Canadian athlete on Twitter for a full calendar year.

Twitter Canada also released several other stats from this year of social media activity, based on total tweet volumes between January 1, 2019 and November 15, 2019. Shawn Mendes came out on top as the Canadian musician with the most account mentions in 2019—beating out past winners Drake and Justin Bieber—no doubt because of his record-breaking single “Senorita,” his much-talked-about relationship with fellow musician Camila Cabello, and his 2019 world tour.

Ryan Reynolds, whose live action film Pokémon Detective Pikachu came out earlier this year, was the Canadian actor with the most account mentions in 2019. According to Twitter Canada, this is the third time Reynolds has come out on top in the four years that they’ve been tracking this category. With another film yet to drop—6 Underground, on Netflix—it’s likely he’ll hold on to the top spot for the remainder of the year.

Unsurprisingly, the Toronto Raptors were the Canadian sports team with the most account mentions for the second consecutive year. Read on for the full list of who dominated Twitter in 2019:

MUSICIANS – SOLO ARTISTS

Shawn Mendes (@ShawnMendes)

Justin Bieber (@JustinBieber)

Drake (@Drake)

Sebastian Javier (@sebtsb)

Alessia Cara (@alessiacara)

thank you everyone thank you so much!! ❤️ also @camila_cabello i admire you so much you unbelievable human being thank you for being you ❤️❤️ we love u guys @AMAs pic.twitter.com/quBs80ZjFM

— Shawn Mendes (@ShawnMendes) November 25, 2019

MUSICIANS – MALE

Shawn Mendes (@ShawnMendes)

Justin Bieber (@JustinBieber)

Drake (@Drake)

Sebastian Javier (@sebtsb)

The Weeknd (@TheWeeknd)

MUSICIANS – FEMALE

Alessia Cara (@alessiacara)

Avril Lavigne (@AvrilLavigne)

Celine Dion (@celinedion)

Carly Rae Jepsen (@CarlyRaeJepsen)

Grimes (@grimezsz)

I PENNED A GOLD (& PLATINUM IN CANADA) RECORD BY MYSELF BABY!!!!! thank you to music wizard Rick Nowels, my incredible team, and you guys for listening to it this many times. woah??¿ I love you🖤 #OutofLove pic.twitter.com/cc226XQcKx

— ac (@alessiacara) November 13, 2019

MUSICIANS – BANDS OR DUOS

Zeds Dead (@ZedsDead)

Nickelback (@Nickelback)

Tegan and Sara (@teganandsara)

Arkells (@ArkellsMusic)

Loud Luxury (@LoudLuxury)

👀 12.4#WeAreDeadbeats pic.twitter.com/qgyEnqrVxn

— ZEDS DEAD (@zedsdead) December 2, 2019

ACTORS

Ryan Reynolds (@VanCityReynolds)

Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen)

Stephen Amell (@stephenamell)

Sandra Oh (@IamSandraOh)

Ellen Page (@EllenPage)

I‘m not sure when the #GoldenGlobes will recognize explosions as a category but ‘til then… #6Underground #FinalTrailer #Snubbed https://t.co/wrUHAZTpIo

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) December 9, 2019

ACTORS – MALE

Ryan Reynolds (@VanCityReynolds)

Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen)

Stephen Amell (@stephenamell)

Finn Wolfhard (@finnskata)

Mena Massoud (@MenaMassoud)

ACTORS – FEMALE

Sandra Oh (@IamSandraOh)

Ellen Page (@EllenPage)

Stana Katic (@Stana_Katic)

Nina Dobrev (@ninadobrev)

Shay Mitchell (@shaymitch)

Thank You @DorianAwards! I’m posing w/ my precious copy of Oscar Wilde greatest hits, Xmas gift from Dad 1984 🌈❤️ pic.twitter.com/ho4bd1ryeo

— Sandra Oh (@IamSandraOh) June 29, 2019

ATHLETES

Bianca Andreescu (@Bandreescu_) – tennis

RJ Barrett (@RjBarrett6) – basketball

Mitch Marner (@Marner93) – hockey

Brad Marchand (@BMarch63) – hockey

John Tavares (@91Tavares) – hockey

2019 tho😭 this szn has been insane. Blessings on blessings🙏🏽thank you God!! & thank you to everyone who supports me through thick and thin. Y’all are real ones❤️ oh & Canada stay winnin’ fr 😤 2019<2020¿ pic.twitter.com/1l0HOrsS15

— Bianca (@Bandreescu_) November 3, 2019

ATHLETES – MALE

RJ Barrett (@RjBarrett6) – basketball

Mitch Marner (@Marner93) – hockey

Brad Marchand (@BMarch63) – hockey

John Tavares (@91Tavares) – hockey

P.K. Subban (@PKSubban1) – hockey

"Made in Canada"

RJ brought out something special for tonight 🔥 pic.twitter.com/9xq3C6VbFr

— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) November 27, 2019

ATHLETES – FEMALE

Bianca Andreescu (@Bandreescu_) – tennis

Tessa Virtue (@TessaVirtue) – ice dancing

Genie Bouchard (@geniebouchard) – tennis

Brooke Henderson (@BrookeHenderson) – golf

Christine Sinclair (@sincy12) – soccer

So dope https://t.co/4CayFqPPXh

— Bianca (@Bandreescu_) October 17, 2019

MOST MENTIONED BY SPORT

Baseball – Mike Soroka (@Mike_Soroka28)

Basketball – RJ Barrett (@RjBarrett6)

Football – N’Keal Harry (@NkealHarry15)

Golf – Brooke Henderson (@BrookeHenderson)

Hockey – Mitch Marner (@Marner93)

Soccer – Alphonso Davies (@AlphonsoDavies)

Tennis – Bianca Andreescu (@Bandreescu_)

Humbled to share this honor with these two studs! Looking forward to many future battles ahead💪🏼 https://t.co/lECfkaBV1W

— Mike Soroka (@Mike_Soroka28) November 5, 2019

SPORTS TEAMS

Toronto Raptors (@Raptors)

Toronto Maple Leafs (@MapleLeafs)

Toronto Blue Jays (@BlueJays)

Montreal Canadiens (@CanadiensMTL)

Calgary Flames (@NHLFlames)

Always dunk your cookies, kids pic.twitter.com/h6FAIKtLqC

— Toronto Raptors (@Raptors) December 10, 2019

POLITICIANS

Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) – Prime Minister of Canada

Andrew Scheer (@AndrewScheer) – Leader of the Conservative Party of Canada

Doug Ford (@fordnation) – Premier of Ontario

Maxime Bernier (@MaximeBernier) – Leader of the People’s Party of Canada

Jason Kenney (@jkenney) – Premier of Alberta

Human rights are universal, and protecting & defending them is a shared duty. On #HumanRightsDay, we celebrate the people who dedicate their lives to uplifting others, and reflect on how we can all come together to build a safer, more equal world. https://t.co/CfQvNK9km0

— Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) December 10, 2019

The post Bianca Andreescu Ruled the Internet This Year as the Most-Mentioned Canadian Athlete on Twitter appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Bianca Andreescu Ruled the Internet This Year as the Most-Mentioned Canadian Athlete on Twitter published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: 5.12.2007 & 5.13.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and this week ten years ago

5.12.2007

6) "I'll Stand by You," Carrie Underwood

I completely understand why so many people bought this. I don't think my life was improved by having heard this? But, y'know, it wasn't as melodramatic as I was expecting, maybe I picked the wrong video but it's just a nice well-sung acoustic cover of a song which I'm sure was construed as inspirational for the Idol Gives Back thing (and remembering that this was Idol Gives Back this week, yup, mm-hmm, definitely watched the wrong video), I'm glad there wasn't a thousand things happening, but like 2007 is supposed to provide a nostalgic rush, either consider a song we all knew and loved/hated back in the day or uncover a classic, and listening to this is just... Unnecessary?

8) "Never Again," Kelly Clarkson

The first line of this song is, "I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green," which is a hell of a thing to say. One can assess all the reasons why this is the only Kelly Clarkson single to chart in 2007 -- hey remember ten years ago when a record label could win a PR battle with a female artist seeking creative autonomy? Good times! -- but honestly, there's nothing wrong with this song on its own, this is a pretty superb, dark-as-hell break-up song, but it's also the sixth or seventh consecutive Kelly Clarkson breakup song? Like, her discography to this point is "A Moment Like This" and then a shitload of break-up songs, some anthemic, some mournful, and while I get why they would be sick of Kelly Clarkson break-up songs -- worth noting her next big hit was “My Life Would Suck Without You” -- if the 2007 public wasn't willing to hear the dark version of the kind of song Kelly Clarkson does extremely well, that's on them. This song is rad, and while I'm probably not gonna go back and listen to My December, I'm figuring that album is prolly a jam.

28) "Icky Thump," The White Stripes

...Do I have to like this song? I get that I agree with it, and I get that The White Stripes area thing people who like music tend to like, and this is the most I ever enjoyed The White Stripes' whole, y'know, thing (this and “My Doorbell”), but I don’t want to like this song. It’s just, I dunno, Jack White’s this whole person, and I don’t like engaging with that person?

56) "Up to the Mountain," Kelly Clarkson ft./Jeff Beck

yes just like the carrie underwood thing this was a very good american idol performance and like i wanna be snarkier but last week 2007 handed me seven country dude songs and, just, i would take a thousand american idol performances before another week with that many country dudes. given the alternative, this is the greatest thing i could have ever possibly heard.

65) "Signal Fire," Snow Patrol

So like, I graduated high school in 2007, right? That's kind of the connection to these songs, like, these songs would have been the soundtrack to my high school experience if I had friends who listened to pop and/or rap radio. (Hence all the buttrock appreciation in these posts. Like, real talk, Shinedown is a terrible band to which I have such a profound nostalgic connection that I routinely have to rewatch their videos just to be 100% sure that particular Southern rock band doesn't have any Confederate flags in them.) So there's a 10-year reunion coming up which I'm probably not going to go to, but like imagine a 10-year high school reunion. You see your friends. You love your friends! You are all very successful and beautiful! You see the people you hated. You greatly enjoy how fat they got and cheated on they were! You go to the punch bowl for some delicious, fruity punch, and you see the person that sat behind you in chemistry. They seem OK. You mention the crazy weather you've been having recently, and they agree, the weather is crazy. This song is that social interaction. It's a nice Braffcore song that I wasn't thinking about then and am not presently thinking about now.

78) "You Raise Me Up," Josh Groban & The African Children's Choir

...Yeah, so like, no? Thank you! But, no, I'mma sit this one out. I understand that we want different things out of life. I will not get in the way of this song's goals, and I will not invite it to impede mine. But thank you so much for bringing this to me!

84) "If I Was Your Man," Joe

I refuse to actively engage with this song on the grounds that even coming up with this angle for a capsule review required more thought and effort than was put into the writing and recording of this song. This is a middle slider in song form. They couldn't even be bothered to give this artist a name. "Joe." Joe doesn't even stand for anything, he's just a fucking guy named Joe who wants to date someone and enjoy all the attendant benefits. Sometimes, you hear a song, and you're taken to an amazing world or shown a new aspect of life or filled with the inspiration needed to tackle the day's problems, and this song is like, "Meet Joe! Joe's a dude who has a crush on someone," and Joe doesn't say anything or even wave his hand to acknowledge you. He just sits there, moving nothing.

93) "I Don't Need a Man," The Pussycat Dolls

"I don't need a hand if it only wants to grab one thing." In addition to the world, the 2016 presidential election also ruined my ability to enjoy a 10-year-old Pussycat Dolls song. Also, Kara DioGuardi. It makes sense that Kara DioGuardi and Donald Trump would describe the female anatomy in equally clumsy ways. Maybe there was no way for Kara DioGuardi to know that, ten years after this song was published, the term "grab" could reference something other than the ass when used in reference to a woman's body, but she's bad and this song is trash so I'm definitely going to hold it against her.

99) "Sexy Lady," Yung Berg ft./Junior

...I am going to applaud this song for having the audacity of using a "Diamonds Are Forever" sample. Like, Kanye doesn't own the rights to the song, and it's a completely different beat, but it's still kinda weird to turn on a song and say, "Oh, hey, someone used that song as a sample in a song I like a lot more!" And like how are you going to use the "Diamonds Are Forever" sample on a song that isn't about diamonds at all? The song doesn't mention jewely of any kind. Like, I don't know, maybe Yung Berg has always been famously anti-consumerism and I just never bothered learning that about him, but if you're a pop/rap artist in 2007, and you're going to take a sample from an iconic song about material goods, hey, I'm not a songwriter, but maybe write verses about material goods? This is as weird as a song can be without having an ounce of originality.

100) "Wipe Me Down," Lil Boosie ft./Foxx & Webbie

One weird thing about 2007 songs is, so like, when I listen to a song with, say, Lil Yachty on the track, I hear every single disgusting thing Lil Yachty has to say about the things he wants to do to a woman, and which parts of the woman he would prefer to do them to. And then you listen to a 2007 track, and there'll be half a verse missing because the record label was scared that their video would be deleted from the internet if they said the n-word. Apart from the unnecessary censorship, I dunno, this was kind of the standard Southern-pop/rap song. Repetitive to the point you just give in and enjoy it, not really about anything in particular, just annoying enough to be memorable but not annoying enough to be appreciated ironically. There were always gonna be dry spells. 2007 is very much in one, Kelly Clarkson notwithstanding.

The Top 20! With infinitely more Kelly Clarkson than ever before! 20) "When I See U," by Fantasia (4.21.2007) 19) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 18) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 17) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 16) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.14.2007) 15) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 14) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 13) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 12) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 11) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 10) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 9) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 8) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 7) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 6) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 5) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 4) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 3) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) Alright. 2007 had a bad week. 2017 didn’t fuck up Kendrick week. Is it gonna fuck up Paramore week?

5.13.2017

44) "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back," by Shawn Mendes

So before I even listen to a single note, the inconsistency of the title's abbreviations has me peeved. Why would you abbreviate one word but not the other? Is one g much more special than the other? Does Shawn Mendes pronounce the g in nothing, but not the g in holding? Because I've heard Shawn Mendes sing, I'd be surprised if he hits the "th" and the "ld" in those words. /// You know what? I'll give it a "not as bad as the title." I don't come away from this song having made any new conclusions about the world or Shawn Mendes as a person, so I can't really argue that this was worth the three minutes of my life it took, but it's not Joe-level nothing, so hey! It has that going for it!

64) "Lust for Life," by Lana del Rey ft./The Weeknd

I'm not here to make a judgement call about the modern adolescent experience in relation to the one I went through. I think this song is fine, it's actually kind of great in a way I'm not gonna bother to place, but I think that it's worth noting that the modern teen's "Hot in Herre" is this. There's a lot of value in a sad song with the "take off all your clothes" refrain, again I dug this, but I didn't dig it enough to try to figure out why that might be, because I'm just thinking about what a jam "Hot in Herre" is and how I think I've heard like maybe two great party jams over the course of this project. We had "Run Up," you guys. The teens don't want to party. And, I mean, why should they, it's rough out there, maybe they deserve to just shrug when they see their boyfriend approach and say, "Huh, he got a little cooler. Le sigh."

68) "Attention," by Charlie Puth

Not gonna lie: when I saw that Shawn Mendes and this dude were on the ledger for this week, I thought the milquetoast white boy army was gonna ruin this W for Paramore. I thought the weight these two idiots would add to 2017 would give the W to a week in 2007 with a Kara DioGuardi joint. But just like the Shawn Mendes song, this was acceptable! In fact: I would give this a B-! It's not as drastic a zag as when Ed Sheeran dropped "Sing," but this is reasonably funkier, a degree of funk which I never would have thought Charlie Puth capable of achieving. I think this song might be his ceiling, I can't imagine having as good a time with Charlie Puth as I did with him here (especially now that the element of surprise won't be in play), but, y'know, solid three and a half minutes. Not the worst!

87) "do re mi," by blackbear

Ah, so THIS is where we were keeping the unexceptional white boy! I knew he had to be hiding somewhere! This is the song you write you have completely purged your life of everyone who told you that you weren't clever. This is the song you write after having no one around to tell you that the fact of a curse word isn't edgy on its own. "Do re mi fa so fuckin' done wit' ya" is a garbage line because the shock is being solely derived from the use of the f-word, and that can only get ya so many times; by the time he repeats it for the sixth time, you'll think it's do re mi fa so lame he couldn't think of anything cooler to do with the conceit than recite the scale then swear. You're a songWRITER, dude! You tellin' me you could only think of one pun based on the scale? OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN AIN'T GOT THE MONOPOLY ON SCALE-BASED PUNS, YA KNOW. SO MANY OTHER WORDS BEGIN WITH FA. TRY HARDER.

90) "Hard Times," by Paramore

gosh this song fucking rules. y'all mind if i'm just a boy writing a diary for a second? because this is a song about me. i'm someone with a defeatist attitude, i'm the exact sort of person who meets hard times by giving up, and that's what this song is, it's a song about giving in and feeling defeated. they're not looking back on low points in their life and saying, "gosh, can you believe we made it?" they're sinking deeper and deeper still into a depression and saying "how the fuck do we survive," and that's such a beautiful sentiment, especially in the trump era, where i'm sure a lot of us are still shellshocked and feel the task is too tall. but they're putting this happy, energetic face on it, this song is this bouncy uptempo jam about being incredibly depressed, because it's easier to pretend you don't need help than it is to ask. i love this song. i don't care if it falls off the chart next week, it's the new #1.

93) "My Girl," by Dylan Scott

...I think I'm just feeling generous today. I'm willing to give this a "didn't mind it." Am I amazed that they just keep finding new dudes to make this exact country song? Yeah. But, it's like the Shawn Mendes song, there just isn't enough in here for me to react negatively to. The Eminem reference is probably the most exotic shoutout in country music going, and especially refreshing because I'm still angry at "Johnny Cash" from last week, and the dude has the bass country voice going, he has that earth-shaking twang instead of that nasal fuckboy twang a lot of these dudes got going on. It wasn't as engaging as that "Hurricane" thing from a couple months ago, so I'm still gonna call it bro country, but this is probably the least I'll ever mind bro country. Congratulations, Dylan Scott! Of all the bro country chucklefucks, you have emerged as the least chucklefucky!

Top 20! Only one new entry! It’s an important one. 20) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 19) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 18) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 17) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 16) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 15) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 14) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 13) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 12) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 11) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 10) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 9) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 8) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) May you last longer than “Run Up,” “Hard Times.” 

Who won?

2017. Neither had a great week, apart from one exceptional song from both sides. “Hard Times” is simply better than “Never Again,” is what it comes down to. And now: 2017 has the lead for the year! 2017: 4 2007: 3 Looking into the future, 2007 has four songs. 2017 will be entering “Young and Menace” probably. ...I already don’t like next week.

[kevinsdsy]

Same anon as the yeppers Shawn one, I have some more stuff I think Shawn would would do (this might happen periodically if you dont mind. SO many thoughts about AFTG and how they speak, and if i have any about shawn i might continue to send them ur way <3)

Weirdly enough I was thinking about it and lowkey I feel deep down in my soul that Shawn would know the swear words (and only the swear words) of a bunch of languages. He’s monolingual, but he knows the raunchiest swear words, and when he and Jean start getting closer he like especially starts learning French ones. This is just another reason for why he needs to have so much press training lol. It eventually gets to the point where he starts pulling out words that Jean doesn’t know 💀 Jean has to start carrying around a French dictionary or smth LMAO 

Maybe this is bc shawn asks Neil to teach him some (shawn + neil would be uncontrollable i fear. The media loves them, their teams fear for their lives every time they open their mouths lmaoo), and because Neil was a teenager (on the run from the MAFIA) in both Montreal AND France he’s absolutely loaded. Canadian and French swear words are different due to more religious influence in Quebec (not francophone ((nor quebecois OR french)), so i dont know all of the differences between quebecois french and france french tho btw), so there’s a high chance that Jean probably wouldn’t be familiar with Canadian ones. Tbh there’s a high chance Jean wouldn’t be familiar with some of the more inappropriate French ones due to the fact that he was so young when he had to leave France 😭😭 or he might have forgotten them because they aren’t in use anymore. Also in TSC it says briefly that he was homeschooled (lowkey forgot about this for a quick sec), so I think he would’ve been pretty sheltered? Wait that took a sad turn but anyways I’m picturing something like this:

Shawn: do u ever just: tabarnak❗or is it just me

Jean: What 

Shawn: omg. 

Shawn: **sacré bleu 

Jean: ??

Shawn: sorry doing a little victory dance. Not me outsmarting a French man at his own game??? Checkmate, putain! 

Jean: ok well I know THAT one

I hope this made sense (idk if half the things i say make sense) and have a good day :) (or night idk your time zone but its like 2 oclock for me <33)

HII OMG i love having you in my inbox and getting to hear about your shawn headcanons fr omg so you're more than welcome to come back hehe

him knowing curse words in multiple languages is actually SO FUNNY to me especially him going out of his way to learn french ones so he can drop them around jean LMAOOO and jean being lost on them 😭 i think he would go out of his way to learn every french curse word to ever exist, just so he won't havw to put up with shawn knowing something he doesn't SHSGDHG

ALSO SHAWN + NEIL MENTION FROM YOU- i need to have some banter between them in my upcoming summer olympics socmed au omgg i think that'd be fun.

thank u for sharing omg it totally made sense hehe <333 (also omg feel like all the oomfs are from different time zones because it's 9 pm for me...)