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[soft4gguk]

to build a home | chapter twelve

Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc

Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.

Word count: 18k (hehe)

Warnings: this is so long i don’t know that i remember every single thing i must’ve included here but i’ll try my best lol. angst!! this is a very angsty chappie but it’s needed ok? so sad so sexy oc. jungkook is a dick twice!! for like a second but its bc he’s scared :( & stressed. Unprotected sex (don't!!! xo). they dirty talk a lot acc. i think thats it? i hope thats it lol. 

Author’s note: it’s a sunday and we have a new tbah chapter!! thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart for waiting. and for giving me such a warm welcome and giving my writing so much love, even amidst my absence. i really hope you guys enjoy this installment of to build a home! i poured my heart on this and i enjoyed it so, so much. it felt like the good old days!! do let me know what you thought - i feel like there’s so much to UNPACK for this one. i love you guys x a million. thank u for reading <3 

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

Chapter Twelve

The sun stirs you awake this morning, its rays sneaking their way inside your room with every gust of wind that makes the curtains dance and the moment you regain the smallest bit of consciousness, you know it’s too early. You’re not meant to be awake for another hour or so but after a minute of tossing and turning, you begin to feel the sleep drift out of you. Your mind fills with thoughts and things to do, feelings and their unresolved natures. It’s Monday, after all, lots to do, lots to feel and certainly lots to confront. 

You slip out of the comfort of your blankets and pillows, putting your headphones over your head and pressing shuffle on the first playlist you find, cranking the volume a little too high in hopes that it will quieten the sea of thoughts that begin to whirlwind inside your mind. You make your way to the kitchen and almost miss the peace and quiet of six a.m., specially here. When the world is still asleep and it’s just you and you can let yourself fall into the long process of making yourself a cup of coffee. More than a process, you’d call it a ritual. You find it good to just stare at your hands at work, resilient in providing sweet satisfaction in a matter of minutes. And so, despite the lack of peace and quiet this morning provides, you get to work. Grinding the coffee beans until they’re silky smooth, pouring the water into the bottom of your italian press and putting it all back together to rest at the stove top. Until all there’s left to do is wait. Wait, wait, wait… 

“I love you.”

You wish it was those mere words that were pressing on you. But it was more. It was the way you felt his body weight on top of yours grow tense. The way the seconds felt like minutes, and then hours, until not even in proximity could you feel him close. How the air felt dense around you and your nerves got the best of you. 

“You don’t have to say it back. I’d say it was a heat of the moment thing but… I don’t think that makes any difference.” 

It all echoes inside of your head. Inside of your chest. Your words, the stutter, the awkward laughter that followed as you tried to brace yourself for whatever came next. Only nothing did. 

He didn’t say it back. 

He didn’t say it back when the high came down and you both wrapped your bodies around each other. He didn’t say it back as he kissed you, slowly and with that lazy characteristic that takes on when he’s sleepy, but not less filled with intention. He fell asleep first, his body impossibly flushed to yours, your fingers carded in his hair for hours as you laid awake, unable to reconcile sleep. 

He didn’t say it back when his lips on your cheeks woke you up the next morning. It was sweet, your mind blank with the exception of the bliss his touch basked you in. He kissed and touched, he pleased. But he didn’t say it back. 

He didn’t say it back throughout the day but by then your mind had fallen at ease, taking you by surprise, even. It was a lazy Sunday morning that turned into a lazy Sunday afternoon, nothing but peace and leisure as the three of you spent the day by the pool. Snacking on whatever the season had turned ripe and sweet. It was a perfect summer day and as Soori splashed about and you looked into each other’s eyes in pride and joy, you thought that maybe, just maybe, he was trying to tell you.

But he didn’t say it back. Not when you said goodbye after putting Soori to sleep, not when he kissed you and said he’d see you tomorrow. Not when you turned around, stealing one last glance at him, lingering for a second too long in awe of his beauty as he smiled and leaned by his doorframe, taking you in. Not even when he called you to make sure you’d gotten home safe and his silence and yours filled the line right as you were about to hang up. And then you didn’t, and you waited, until the line disconnected. 

Your coffee overheats as you go back and forth, one cruel thought after the other, and it’s the lid jumping and splashing the liquid everywhere that brings you back to your small kitchen. 

“Shit.” You remove the pot from the stove and let it rest for a minute as you clean up the mess. Getting lost in your thoughts again because, hey, at least you woke up early, so as to give you enough time to let the overthinking make you clumsy. 

Ten different things go wrong before you’re finally able to sit down on your couch, freshly brewed iced americano in one hand, your journal and pen in another. All you need to do is let your thoughts leave you. Yes, that’s exactly what you need to do. You need to come back to yourself as you sip your coffee slowly and fill an entire page worth of your feelings. It’s catharsis in it’s purest form. A foul-proof method, at that. 

Only it isn’t. You fill the pages with sentences like,

Why didn’t he say it?

I should’ve not acted like it meant nothing to me. It meant the world to me. 

He means the world to me.

I love him. 

Does he not love me back?

And the one that filled the pages the most,

Why doesn’t he love me back?

And by the time you’re ready to leave the house, you’re still a ball of unresolved emotions and a chaotic neutral feeling taking over your every being because all you want to do is scream but you’re running late to see the root of all your problems. 

~

Thankfully, the root of all your problems walks inside his kitchen that morning holding what you believe is the cure of all that is wrong in the world: his daughter. 

“Oh my God, you look so cute,” and she does. A smile that makes you melt, two pigtails held by tiny pink bows and an oversized Winnie The Pooh t-shirt that brings her whole look together. “Good morning, baby.”

The moment she falls into your arms you feel an ease run through you that makes you submit to the harsh edges of the world, waving white flag. She’s foul-proof magic and method. 

“Good morning,” he says, giving you a smile that almost washes away your uncertainties. 

“Good morning.” You take Soori from his arms and return the smile, but he can tell it’s not quite there yet. Not that he thinks much of it – your morning meet ups in the kitchen are always cordial but not overly so, you wouldn’t want Mrs. Chae to suspect anything. – 

“I have a busy week coming up.”

“You do?” It’s a question that translates to, you didn’t mention that and Jungkook doesn’t miss it in your tone. 

 “Yeah. So I’ll probably be home a bit late. No more than an hour, though, is that okay?”

“Sure.”

“Great. Thanks!” He’s nonchalant as he walks up to the kitchen island, greeting Mrs. Chae and moving quickly through his iced americano. 

He leans against the counter, scrolling down his phone, not a care in the world. A particular sip has him choking on his coffee and he coughs a little. Inside, you smile. And yes, that’s not the proudest you’ve been of a feeling but can you be blamed? He doesn’t look like his coffee splashed all over his kitchen counter this morning because he couldn’t stop thinking about how he confessed his love to you and you didn’t say it back. Matter of fact, not saying it back is the least of your concerns. He didn’t say anything! No reaction, nothing. You hope he chokes on his coffee again. It’s harmless, in your defense, most women would be hoping for bloodier, more treacherous things. He’s lucky you don’t- 

“‘Kay. Gotta go. Have a nice day, Mrs. Chae!” He walks over to you, taking Soori from your arms and showering her cheeks with kisses as he makes his way to the doorway. She’s getting better at the goodbye part of the mornings but Mondays are always tricky. 

“Have a nice day.” You smile, a bit forcibly. 

“Aw,” he frowns, pouting, and you think he almost gets it, but no. “You tired, baby? Mondays can be hard.”

You want to gasp. No, really, it takes all the strength in you not to gasp. “Yeah, slept horribly, actually.”

“Take it easy today. You two should take a nap in my bed.” You nod and agree and he hugs you after he passes Soori to you, pulling her in as well. It’s a little three-way-hug and it makes your heart feel a little comfort, even amidst the chaos. 

“You take it easy, too.” Your hand finds his and you squeeze, even if for a second. 

“Bye, baby.” He kisses you. “Bye, baby!” He kisses Soori. And off he goes. 

This is pretty much what your entire week looks like. Going to bed late, head swimming in thoughts. Waking up an hour before your alarm rings, head swimming in the said thoughts. Breakfast before Lucy is up, so you can leave right as she wakes up, because a part of you knows she’d know, and that you couldn’t handle it. Lucy cares. Lucy would ask you a thousand questions, or encourage you to talk about it, or she would simply wrap you up in a hug that would send tears to your eyes that would turn into full on sobs by the time she was done putting her loving on you. So you lie to her; tell her Jungkook needs to be at the office earlier this week, and she buys it, no questions asked. 

 You walk half of your commute, and then take the bus, mainly to kill time. On Wednesday you think you could probably just take the bus right away, be early, make up some excuse to Mrs. Chae and go up the stairs, to his bedroom. You could watch Soori for him as he gets ready, you could take him in as he prepares for the day, you could ask him to be five minutes late so he can kiss you silly and extinguish the fire of doubt that keeps growing thicker, taller flames inside your heart. But, could you? Could you do all that? Have you fallen into enough familiarity as to do that? You thought you had, now you’re not so sure. 

Spiraling. That’s what your week looks like. You meet him in the kitchen, bask in the peace Soori brings you the moment she wraps her arms around you (she’s a hugger now) and try to suppress the witty remarks that threaten to leave your mouth, fueled by sarcasm and anger, every time you speak to him. But most days, you’re just sad. So sad you have to fake a smile, or make a grand effort to hold a conversation. Not that you have many. Jungkook is busy, morning and night. Something about a new property they’re getting ready to acquire - a future addition to The West End Collection. Each day the stress and tiredness reflects on him more, his energy plummeting. He says something about timezones and having to reply to emails at three a.m. so you assume it’s an international transaction. Nonetheless, it’s all assumption, you guys barely talk. And you get it. Jungkook is a busy man – he owns hotels, for Christ’s Sake! – And under any other circumstance, his distance and your lack of communication combined wouldn’t worry you, it’d simply be that, circumstantial. But right now, all it does is fuel the overthinking and self-doubt.

But then it’s midday and you remember how he kissed you in the morning before he left, and your thoughts quieten. Instead, they’re replaced by that pink, fuzzy feeling that your body recognizes as him. The feeling that belongs to him and him only. And on the bus ride home you replay the way he kissed you goodbye, no one around you, and able to take his time. His hand resting on your cheek, his lips parting your mouth, the small sigh of relief that never fails to leave him whenever he deepens the kiss. This cloud of comfort the memories put you in inevitably land you back to square one, simply for the fact that they remind you of the one thing that presses on to your heart the most: you love him. 

~

By the time Friday rolls around, you’re so exhausted from the marathon taking place inside your head that the moment you make it home, aided by the quiet and solitude that falls into your apartment – courtesy of date night for Lucy and Jimin – your body starts to ache from exhaustion. 

You change into an old t-shirt and shorts, put your hair up in a bun and decide you will be treating yourself to take out. You get cozy, blanket tucked under you as Gilmore Girls – your comfort show – plays on the TV. Scrolling lazily through the food delivery apps, you ponder on what to eat. You want something that screams sad girl stays home because non-reciprocated love is too heavy of a burden to bear. Pizza, pasta, a burger. Maybe some ramen! Or a burrito, that never fails. Or perhaps just dessert. Perhaps that’s what you need. A shock to the body in the form of sugar. But amidst your indecision your lids fall heavy and you’re out cold before the clock can mark eight p.m. 

And you sleep. You sleep through the night, a deep, dreamless slumber that makes you pay for all the sleepless nights you put your body through. You barely move an inch throughout the night, Gilmore Girls serving as a soft lullaby in the background until Netflix gathers that you are not, as a matter of fact, still watching. You could probably sleep through the morning, and if you really tried, you could probably sleep through the afternoon if you cozied yourself up just right, but the universe has other plans. More like, Lucy and Jimin have other plans. In their defense, you are running late for book club. 

Their hushed little giggles as they enter the house is the first thing you hear in the depths of your subconscious as the noise attempts to stir you awake. But it’s to no avail. Your mind ignores it eventually after it goes on for a minute too long. The second attempt is their hushed chit chat that takes one too many pauses as it gets lost in the giggles and pecks they share in between. 

“Shhh. You’re gonna wake __ up!” It’s Jimin, your subconscious recognizes that much. 

“Hmm,” more giggles. “She should be in the shower right about now. She has book club, remember?”

“Shit, that’s true! Hey, we can fuck in the kitchen again?” 

“Jimin, oh my god. Shhh!”

You frown, but your mind refuses to fully wake up. 

It’s the wet noise from their kisses that finally do it, at a third triumphant attempt. You jolt awake, turning to the direction of the kitchen where you see the image that matches the dirty little noises they make. Lucy opens her eyes for a split second as Jimin presses her against the counter and she all but screams when she sees your head peeking from the sofa, hair a mess and a scowl painting your features. Jimin shrieks follow a second later. 

“Shh. Shhhh!” you say. “What time is it?”

“It’s 9:15!” Lucy yells, still startled. “What are you doing here? Are you feeling okay? You look… under the weather.”

“Yeah __ you look rough,” Jimin says. 

“Aren’t you two just sweet? I fell asleep on the couch,” you stumble as you make your way to your bedroom, still groggy from sleep. “Shit. I’m gonna be so late.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make you some coffee and a sandwich to-go,” Lucy says, peeking inside your bedroom. 

“Thank you, Lu. You’re the best.” You brush through your hair, incredulous as to how it got so messy through the night. 

“Of course,” she says, lingering in your doorframe. “But seriously __, are you doing alright? I’ve barely seen you this week.”

“Yeah. Yes. I’m fine. Long hours at work, that’s all.”

She smiles. “I’m gonna tell Jungkook not to work you too hard when I see him today.” You look at her, confusion lacing your features. “Dae’s birthday party, remember?”

“Oh, shit. That’s today. I totally forgot.” 

Now it’s Lucy’s turn to look confused. And rightfully so. I mean, what would warrant a reaction like the one you just had? You love Dae. And she knows that any excuse to see Jungkook puts a giddy, little smile on your face, like a teenage girl. She calls it the puppy love stage, and is convinced you’re deep into it. You can’t blame her. A week ago you would have agreed. But today you were hoping you could avoid all thoughts of him. Come up with some excuse, tell him you’re feeling a bit under the weather and that you’d take the weekend to recover. But your plans of drowning your feelings in pizza, ice cream and Gilmore Girls (not necessarily in that order) just tumbled to the ground. You do, in fact, love Dae and wouldn’t miss his birthday party for the world. 

“I’ll just be a little late,” you smile, disguising your thoughts. “So, you know, I can come back and shower, seeing as I won’t have time to do that.”

You’re not entirely sure she buys it, but she offers you a smile and heads to the kitchen to make you breakfast. That act alone makes you want to cry. 

It’s gonna be a long day. 

~

It’s a beautiful, sunny day. Perfect for a pool party. Mai had hired a very capable catering company that was in charge of feeding both the adults and the kids at Dae’s birthday party, but Taehyung had gotten a new grill and he could find no better day to break it in than today. And even though she insisted, it was to no avail. They were grilling – the finest cuts of steak, at that – and opening the nicest bottles of wine. His first born was turning five and they had a second one on the way! He takes a minute to take it all in, sighing in pure, blissful satisfaction. There was only one person whose grilling skills could come close to his, and he knows that much because he taught him. 

“What a good day, isn’t it, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook nods, taking a sip of his red wine as his eyes scan the scene before him. Kids running around everywhere, scattered all over Mai and Taehyung’s garden. A huge bouncy castle with a water slide happened to be the main entertainment of the day, making him question how he was going to top it up with his Iron Man act. His friends all gathered to celebrate Dae, whom he loved and couldn’t believe was turning five. He also couldn’t believe he was still a bachelor when he was born, not envious of his friend’s new lifestyle, and now… well, look at him now! His eyes scan the place for Soori, who’s in Kenny’s lap as her cousins play around her. She smiles and claps, eyes wide as she kicks and screams in joy and he can’t believe she’ll be able to keep up with them soon. 

“Can you believe we’re dads?”

“In awe of it every day, actually. Can you believe we’re actually good at it?” Taehyung looks at Jungkook, who’s deep in thought. 

“No. Takes me by surprise every day,” he says, and Taehyung likes the way Jungkook gives himself credit, despite it all. 

“Can you believe Jimin is well on his way to settle down?” Taehyung says, gaze diverting forward. Jungkook follows his line of vision and understands exactly what he’s talking about. There they are, Jimin and Lucy. 

“About time.” And he’s only half joking, but the truth is, Jungkook hadn’t seen his friend this happy in years, and he’s got Lucy to thank for that. They all do. 

“Aw, imagine how cute their babies will look like,” Taehyung says, earning himself a frown from Jungkook.

“Keep your baby fever in your pants, please.”

“Oh, if only you knew.”

Jungkook looks at him and it takes him all but a second to know what he’s talking about. 

“Really?” Taehyung just shrugs, but he smiles bright and big, and his happiness is contagious. “Bro, seriously. You have to learn to shut your mouth. Mai is gonna kill you! Again!” and of course, Jungkook is alluding to the very first secret Taehyung couldn’t keep from his best friend. That first secret is turning five today. 

“Don’t tell her I told you, bro.” He sounds like a child, and Jungkook can’t believe he’s officially a dad of two. 

“Oh, I so will.”

“Fucking traitor.” He says. 

“Hey, congratulations. I’m so happy for you guys.” 

Taehyung brings him in for a hug and it ends as quickly as it begins. “Shh, sh. She’s looking this way, act cool.”

“A fucking child.” 

“You’re the child! I’m older than you by almost two-”

Jimin walks behind them, taking them by surprise when he throws his arms around their shoulders. “Children, please. Settle down.” 

Lucy giggles, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend’s goofy nature. She loves that about him. Matter of fact, she’d just told him, for the very first time, that she loved everything about him. That she loved him. This came after Jimin had blurted it out, in the middle of a very mild argument over the best Shrek movie. She loved him so much she’d decided to overlook the fact he said it was the fourth. Everyone knows it’s the second. 

“Funny. We were just talking about you.” Taehyung says. 

“Nothing but compliments and praises, I’d imagine!” He says. His friends both shrug at the same time, earning themselves a scowl from him. 

Jungkook turns to Lucy, smiling at her before asking, “Hey, have you heard from __? She told me she’d be here.”

“Oh, she overslept this morning, didn’t even have time to shower. So she just went home to freshen up before the party.” Lucy replies, finding it a bit odd that he isn’t aware of your whereabouts. 

“Ah,” he ponders on this for a minute. “I see.”

“I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” Her smile is kind, almost like she knows. And oh, she knows. Only she can’t put her finger on it entirely. She knows something’s mildly off, but everything seemed fine at surface level. Ultimately, she didn’t want to pry – knew that often her overthinking led her to worry for no reason – but also, her gut was almost never wrong. 

Jimin’s voice brings her back from her mental gymnastics. 

“Babe, let’s go get our bathing suits on! I’m so going on that bouncy castle.” 

“Please don’t do anything stupid. And don’t break the bouncy castle, the deposit on it alone was more than your Saint Laurent boots.” Taehyung tells him, nonchalantly, back at work on the grill. 

“Bro, it’s like, 30 degrees outside. Take those off.” Jungkook adds. 

“Do not address me, flip flop man.” 

Taehyung’s head snaps. “Hey, what’s wrong with flip flops?”

Jimin scans him from head to toe, stopping at his feet. “Everything.” And like that, he’s gone. 

Taehyung and Jungkook return to grilling duties, diligently at work and in total silence for a couple of minutes, so as to recover from Jimin’s brutal abuse towards their choice of shoewear. 

It’s Taehyung that breaks the silence first. 

“So… you and __, seems like it’s getting pretty serious, huh? Plus, you’re happy. I can tell. We all can, to be fair.”

He laughs, and when he does, it has a bite to it Taehyung wasn’t expecting. “So, I get laid and it shows?”

Jungkook doesn’t mean it. Not the words he uttered, or the edge that laces his voice. Not even the breath he took right before he spewed their venom. He regrets it the moment they leave him. 

Taehyung winces. “What the hell was that, man?”

“What exactly?”

“I’d like to believe you’ve passed the point of just fucking ___.” Taehyung can’t even call you the nanny anymore, his words faltering for a second before saying your name. 

Jungkook chuckles, and again, he doesn’t mean it. His friend can tell, which concerns him more. He wouldn’t press if he didn’t know he was lying through his teeth, lacing it with fire just to reinforce a point he didn’t believe himself. 

“So, when she stays the night, what exactly do you think we do?”

Taehyung shakes his head and it’s him who’s chuckling this time. “You’re such a pussy.”

Jungkook’s head snaps fast, an immediate frown taking over his features. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it fucking means. You’re a pussy. Love looks you right in the eyes and you fall into the most cliché tale of fearing it so much it makes you, quite frankly, an asshole.” Jungkook winces at the word love, though Taehyung doesn’t notice – heavily invested in shaking some sense into him. 

“I’m not going to sit here and pretend what it feels like,” he continues, voice taking on a softer tone. “To lose something so abruptly that it makes you feel like everything that follows will hold the same fate. You didn’t have a choice – when you gathered all that strength and courage for Soori, you didn’t have a choice. You gave her love when life was throwing the opposite your way, that was brave. Do the same for yourself. That same courage, choose it.” He throws a punch at his chest, right where his heart is – it’s not forceful but it makes the youngest tumble backwards slightly.

Jungkook stares at his friend, his heart taking on a wave of feelings that pass him by too quickly for him to grasp, let alone process. It’s anger first, sadness following, and when it crashes, they land in fear. Square one, too weak to say much, he just stares at Taehyung – his expression dumbfounded but above all, pained. 

For a second, as Taehyung stares into his eyes, he sees a wide-eyed twenty-year-old Jungkook. Puffy cheeks and cherry hair, a heartthrob to everyone’s knowledge but his own, making him all that more charming. Jungkook tries to find words – anything to form a shield, to dismiss his friend’s words and take the easy route out of this conversation, this feeling, you. But in an instant, he’s reminded of how hard “easy” can be. How much pain comes with the strain of fighting and how the other side of that pain can be almost sweet – vulnerability. 

The words that follow make Taehyung feel nostalgic. 

“I talked to my dad – well, more like- he talked to me.” Taehyung nods, already knowing where this is going. “He knows. About __.”

“Okay… and what seems to be the problem?”

“In his eyes, everything. It almost felt like he was putting some sort of blame on me, for everything that happened with Ira. How it affected our family,” Jungkook pauses, the word family leaving his lips in a tremble. “They think she’s going to cause the same societal hysteria – if not worse. The CEO dating the nanny.” He huffs, shaking his head in disbelief and even though he laughs, it lacks humor. 

Taehyung’s one for big words but quite frankly, what he says next is the most accurate answer he can find, looking at his friend in the eyes as he says, “So?”

Jungkook looks at him, hesitating for a moment. “What do you mean so?”

“I don’t believe for a second that you just took his opinion and went with it. I don’t believe for a second you just agreed with him. Not even to get him to stop talking. I know you better than that.”

“I didn’t.”

“Exactly. So, what seems so be the problem, because your parents trying to discipline the twenty-eight-year-old? I’m not buying it.” Jungkook holds his gaze for a second before it drops to the floor, shoulders dropping in defeat as a sigh follows. “Life gets hard and the way things come to be, the circumstances we face, yeah – those are hard. But never loving. Loving is easy. That’s why it’s worth it.” 

Jungkook’s about to tell him that a week ago, you told him you loved him, and that he didn’t quite know if you meant it. He’s about to tell him that he didn’t say it back – that fear got the best of him. That all the possibilities of everything that could go wrong presented themselves to him like a movie. Frame by frame, so vividly that it physically pained him, making his body grow rigid and cold. He’s about to tell him that the biggest fear of it all was the possibility of you leaving, just like Ira did. But it’s right in that moment that he hears Soori’s shriek. It startles him at first, he thinks something must’ve happened to her, that she’s hurt, or perhaps just fuzzy and needs him. He drops the tongs he’s holding and is ready to run over to her. And then he sees you, fully stopping in his tracks when he realizes she’s perfectly fine – she was just excited to see you. 

Kenny hands her over and you take her into your arms, rocking her from side to side as you hug her to you. You feather kisses all over her face but she barely lets you, too excited and jumpy in your hold. She points at the red balloons that adorn the garden and you go wide eyed in excitement. Dae runs over to you and you kneel down, Soori still in your arms, and bring him in for a hug. He tells you things that Jungkook can’t make out from a distance but he, too, is going wide eyed in excitement. You motion to a box that sits by the sofa, neatly gift wrapped in Iron Man print. He claps and jumps and takes you by the hand, walking you to the table that holds all his birthday gifts. It’s only after you’ve helped him place your gift at the very top – as per his request – that your gaze finally meets Jungkook’s. 

You look beautiful, and when you smile at him he can feel his heart physically stop for a beat too long. Your long hair dances in the wind, and some gets tangled in Soori’s fingers. Even she looks at you in awe. You’re wearing a sage green summer dress that hugs your body in all the right places and then just flares out, accentuating that contrast you naturally hold. Very sweet but so very woman. 

He could stare at you for hours. 

And for his despair, for the most time, he does. 

~

You do a great job at seamlessly avoiding Jungkook. 

Now, it’s not that you want to avoid him. It’s more so that you don’t know how to face him. You’re afraid that anything he says or does could trigger a response inside of you that you won’t be able to control. Perhaps you’ll cry, or snap at him. Perhaps you’ll go completely mute. At this point, you don’t know. You tell yourself this is the price you pay for leaving a feeling untreated. But what could you do if the treatment to your feelings is standing at 5 foot 10 in total oblivion?

That much you know. Jungkook is oblivious as to how you really feel. And you can’t fully blame him for this because a. You’re the one that said he didn’t have to say anything in return and, b. Oblivion makes him look so small in your eyes. I mean, you’re out here sitting with your female rage, plotting his revenge, laughing a little too hard when he steps on a lego – in full Iron Man costume, may you add – and he just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know. Because if he knew, he wouldn’t be stealing glances your way. Or letting his hand linger a little too close to yours when you stand next to him as Dae and his friends tell you what they’re reading in school. Or when you pass Soori to him, your arms getting tangled together. Or when you both reach for the same cupcake, the same glass of wine, the same deviled egg! He lingers like you often do when you’re in public and have to be kept a secret. When touch and proximity are scarce and you have to milk every touch, every word, every glance. 

In Jungkook’s eyes, your distance is simply discretion, because for Jungkook, your words were a heat of the moment thing. A testimony of how good you two had made each other feel. I mean, despite the way your words affected him and welcomed a new set of fears he wasn’t quite planning on having with you, he let you get away with it. He felt, in a way, that he was doing you a favor. I mean, you did sound embarrassed and almost avoidant when you said it. So why press on it? Why put the two of you through the stress of having to navigate your feelings? All of this made total sense to him when he woke up Sunday morning and decided to not give his mental chaos another thought. Why would he, when he could just enjoy you instead? 

Despite said female rage, the day turns out to be magical. Dae’s charmed by all the love he receives and even takes a power nap halfway through it all because he’s so exhausted from fun and play. But once he’s up, he’s unstoppable again. Running, swimming, singing and dancing, his fifth birthday party is a success. And now, with sun kissed noses and sugar rushes, his friends begin to say goodbye one by one. This is your queue, you think, and you walk over to Mai to thank her for having you. 

“What? No! Don’t leave now. The party’s just getting started. For us, at least,” she winks at you, motioning to the glass of wine she holds. It’s apple juice, only you don’t know this. 

“Uh,” you can’t come up with any excuses. 

“Plus! Don’t you wanna stay to see Dae opening his presents? It’s my favorite part of the day.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude-” you know that for Soori’s birthday at least, that moment happened after all the guests had left, and it was just their close group of friends. You feel out of place.

“Nonsense. He wants you here. We all do. I do,” she grabs your hand in hers and you give her a little nod before she’s dragging you back to the party. 

You enjoy yourself more than you’d expected. In between conversations, left over finger food and really good wine, the evening passed you by. You enjoyed getting to know everyone better and found particular joy in seeing them in this dynamic they seemed to be very familiar with. Of course, this was all accredited to the years they’d spent together. You couldn’t help but find it quite amazing; the fact that the majority of them had known each other since high school, all through college and adulthood. Parenthood, too, for some of them. Every act of service, word spoken and inside joke was laced with something that words couldn’t quite describe, but if you were to try, you’d label it as family. Simple as that. They were family. Seeing how quickly Lucy was weaving her way into their friendship group made you feel so happy for her. And it was in that instant that something told you that she’d stay forever. Not a doubt of it. She belonged – here, with Jimin, surrounded by love and family. She just belonged. 

Dae opened his presents and each reaction was better than the last. He was in a total high and the only thing that made winding him down for bed easier was Mai telling him that the faster he went to bed, the quicker he’d wake up to a room full of brand new presents he could play with all day long, if he so pleased. That and the fact that his cousins were staying the night and by the time Taehyung was done scattering his room with sleeping bags for the kids, the place looked like a campsite. 

And so the night was drawing to an end as you all sat by the lounge area in Mai and Taehyung’s backyard. Music playing softly from the speakers, the half eaten Iron Man cake on the table and a string of memories recalled by each of them as they reminisced. 

“Time flies,” Namjoon says. 

“I can’t believe you were the first one to have a kid.” Yoongi tells him. 

Hobi wraps his arm around Kenny, bringing her closer before he says, “how could you not? He’s always been very daddy.” They all laugh at his choice of words. “I didn’t mean it like that. Filthy minded, the lot of you.”

“I thought it’d be Jin,” Yoongi defends. 

“Nah. I always knew it was gonna be Namjoon. You left us too soon, bro.” Jungkook says, wrapping an arm around him and pouting. 

“Excuse me?” Iseul gasps, scowling at him from the warmth of Namjoon’s embrace, at the other side of him. 

Jungkook smiles at her cheekily, pout growing even more. “I love you. You know that. Matter of fact, you left us too son, bro.” He says this to Iseul. 

“Exactly. I was fun,” she says, crossing her arms as she falls back into the couch. 

“You still are! We all still are!” Seulgi says, raising her glass. They all join, and you laugh as you hear them add commentary like, “yeah, but at what cost?”, “I have chronic back pain.” and, “I fell asleep five minutes into a movie last night.” 

“God, I haven’t even been inside a club in years. What’s good nowadays? __? Lucy?” Jin asks. 

You both look at each other, not very familiar with the clubbing scene anymore. 

“Candied Star,” says Jimin, voice going low. 

“Shame on you, bro.” Yoongi tells him. 

“What the fuck is Candied Star?” Asks Hobi. 

“It’s a club!”

“It sounds like the name of a very blonde, very busty 90s pornstar.” Says Mai and they all laugh. 

“I actually used to love that place. It’s pink and excessive. And the DJ’s solid.” You say. 

Jimin claps once, body jolting, having a full eureka moment. “We’re totally going tonight. Saturday’s are the best nights!” 

“I’m so in. Taehyung’s fancy wine made me drunk, it’d be a waste to just go home.” Lucy adds. 

“You’re welcome, kid.” Taehyung raises his glass in her direction. 

“You coming, __?” Jimin asks you. 

You can’t fight it when your eyes land on Jungkook. His are on you already and again, you both linger in held glances for a second too long. You know he can’t go as he has Soori tonight. And you know your female rage wants to keep at a distance from him, so this is the perfect escape plan. But your heart takes one look at him and you want no more than to go back home with him. Have him all to yourself, crawl under a blanket with him and just hug him to you in a way that says, “I’ve been wanting to do this all week.”

“I’m in!”

And that’s the thing about untreated feelings: they rebel against you, even if the heart is waving white flags. 

~

See, you might not be one for crowded spaces and shitty music. You might be an Elton John fanatic, technology denier, gardening grandma attire wearer old soul. This might all be true, yes. But right next to that truth coexists a side of you that simply can’t help but love the fact that you’re twenty three. You’re twenty three and that means that on a saturday night, your responsibilities are at the bottom of the pyramid. You’re twenty three and there’s something about tonight that exacerbates the fact that you’re young and can allow yourself to be a little stupid. 

Candied Star is exactly what you described it as: pink and excessive. You hadn’t been here in months and perhaps that’s what makes it all the more alluring. You swiftly make it inside, courtesy of Jimin, who has a certain power over every bouncer and PR in the city. You could get used to the VIP treatment, if you were to confess. The line was going down a mile and you could see it from the taxi as you made your way to the club. The music is good from the get go and nothing about the atmosphere feels menacing or intimidating. Candied Star is for the cool kids. And what you mean by that is, Candied Star is for the girls, the gays and the allies. Nothing about this place caters to the male gaze and in a way, it’s so freeing. 

The moment you step foot inside you begin to let loose, and it’s not too long after that you’re being found by a troop of beautifying fairy godmothers that circle around the three of you, bedazzling your faces until the strobes inside the club hit you and you’re drenched in glitter and sparkling. The music aids the cinematic feeling of the night and when Jimin hands you a drink, it’s pink and shiny and you don’t know why but it just makes sense that it is. “It’s strawberry gin,” he says and you all bring your glasses together and cheer for a cause you’re not aware of but that demands celebration as you scream and sing and dance. 

By your third sparkly, strawberry gin, you’re the life of the party. 

No, really. You are. 

“I didn’t know __ had that in her!” Jimin says to Lucy, who admires you in awe. 

“Oh, but she does,” she yells over the loud music. 

The same people that put beads and glitter on your face are the ones that encourage you to get on top of one of the tables and give it your all. You’re not much of a dancer but in that moment, something in you releases in screaming color. Maybe it’s the song that plays that you vow to never forget. Maybe it’s the smiling faces that surround you and cheer you on. Perhaps it’s finding Jimin and Lucy in the crowd, smiling at you. You beckon them over and it takes them a while to get the hint but when they do, the crowd is parting for them and they’re being cheered on. You help them get on the stage – yes, a table, but it’s your stage – and you dance. You dance and sing and yell words to songs you didn’t even know you knew, or that maybe you thought you’d forgotten. 

But how could you forget? How could you forget how young you once were? How could you forget how young you are now?

~

Jungkook rocks Soori from side to side, bottle in hand as she begins to drift off in between suckles. The way she fights sleep to keep eating makes him giggle and when he does, her eyes snap open once again, seemingly more alert than the last time. 

“Shh, shh… sorry, baby. Sleep,” he whispers and his voice soothes her as he feels her little body relax in his arms. 

Night feeds are a rare occurrence nowadays but today was an exception. She’d had a fun day outside of her routine and the moment Jungkook had parked the car on his driveway, she’d woken up, more alert than ever. So here they were, in the middle of her nursery as Jungkook added a little bounce to his step the closer she got to finishing her bottle; the rhythm he’d mastered and could confirm worked like a magic trick to put her out cold and fast. 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this moment. She was growing way too fast before his eyes and these moments reminded him of when she was a little baby. When she depended on him way more than she does now. When she couldn’t crawl, let alone be so close to walking as she was now. Her eyes open yet again and he looks at her, smiling. She smiles back and he starts humming a soft melody in hopes of putting her to sleep. It has no rhyme or direction and he tries to think of something. He sings to her, and it’s a song he’s heard you sing to her, too. 

Jesus freaks out in the street

Handing tickets out for God

Turning back, she just laughs

The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man, he makes his stand

In the auditorium

Looking on, she sings the songs

The words she knows, the tune she hums

She finishes her bottle, eyes blinking once, twice, before her long eyelashes meet her cheeks. She nuzzles her face closer to Jungkook’s chest and his heart breaks and mends all in the span of a second. He sings softer this time.

But, oh, how it feels so real

Lying here with no one near

Only you, and you can hear me

When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer, tiny dancer

Count the headlights on the highway

Lay me down in sheets of linen

You had a busy day today

Hold me closer, tiny dancer

Count the headlights on the highway

Lay me down in sheets of linen

You had a busy day today

Soori falls into deep sleep and Jungkook holds her. He lets himself have her in his arms for a little longer. He thinks of all the parenting books he’s read in the past year or so, making himself chuckle as they would absolutely not approve of this. But he doesn’t care. He knows he’s doing the right thing. And perhaps he didn’t know this a couple of months back – a couple of months back he felt like he couldn’t get anything right – but now, looking down at her, he feels confident. He knows he’s doing the right thing because Soori? Soori is perfect. Soori is the best thing he’s ever been good at. Soori is his biggest and most exciting project. And as she sleeps soundly in his arms, it hits him. He’s doing a good job. 

He sings the same song to her two, three… four times. On and on. And at some point, the words start catching up to him in memories of you. He doesn’t want to sulk. He knows you should, as a matter of fact, be out there, having fun with your friends and dancing the night away at some club with a questionable name. But he can’t help but miss you. He thinks of you, because lately, every corner of his house reminds him of you. And yes, it aids his sulking but it’s also nice to just picture you everywhere. He thinks of you rocking on Soori’s chair, watching them, you’d probably be singing along with him. Or perhaps you’d be in his room, waiting for him on his bed, a book in hand, because you always carry one in your bag. 

He laughs as he remembers a conversation you’d had with Lucy right before you left for the club. 

“Wait, I’m not very dressed for the club…,” you say. 

Lucy looks at you, huffing. “You’re never dressed for the club.”

“No, Lu, seriously. I have a copy of Sense and Sensibility in my bag right now.”

“I guess Jane Austen is coming to Candied Star, then!”

And it was so you. Jungkook had never read Jane Austen, but the title alone was so very you. 

Finally, he’s putting Soori in her crib, making sure she has all her friends around in case she wakes up through the night and double checking the baby monitor before he’s gently closing the door of her nursery after he takes one last glance at her. He can’t see much, just one of her cheeks pressed against the mattress from between the wooden bars of her crib. He laughs softly, nose scrunching in endearment. 

He walks inside his room, retrieving his phone from his back pocket and throwing it on his bed. He’s about to turn around but he deflects, reaching back for his phone. He’s got a couple of notifications adorning his home screen – Mai had sent pictures from today to their group chat, his mom had texted him saying they needed to talk and he had a couple of work emails he did not want to get into right now – but none from you. Jungkook sighs, throwing his phone on his bed once again and making his way to the bathroom. 

He showers, taking his time to take the day off. Standing in front of the massage jets for a long time and in days like these, time felt like a luxury. He washes his hair, his body, lets the water run down on him. He takes his time and once he’s done, he walks over to his bed, tapping on his phone in quiet hopes that he’ll see your name on his screen. Nothing. He grabs the device to put it to charge but he changes his mind halfway through, bringing it with him to the bathroom. 

He brushes his teeth, washes his face, does his skincare. A notification pops up. It’s from The New York Times. He rolls his eyes, staring at the screen until it goes blank. He tells himself not to act so childish. He brushes his hair, applies three different products he doesn’t quite know the purpose of. He taps on his phone again, even though he knows he’s not going to find anything new. And he doesn’t. 

He doesn’t and he shouldn’t. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to pry you away from the fact that you’re twenty three years old, and that you should be doing exactly what a twenty three year old should be doing on a saturday night. God knows nobody stopped him, so he doesn’t want to stop you. But he’d be lying if he said that when Jimin invited you to the club, his blood went a little warm. Not fully hot, no. But a little warm. He wanted the night to wrap up so he could approach you and ask to give you a ride. No one would suspect, I mean, he was just doing you a favor, as your boss. But the moment he got you alone in his car he planned to kiss you until you had no choice but to follow him home. And he’d hold you and stare at you and kiss you until it paid for how little he got to do it this past week. He missed you. And he can’t stop thinking about how beautiful you looked today. At how beautiful you probably look right now, dancing and smiling. Probably a bit tipsy by now because he knows how much of a lightweight you were.

He gets in bed, attempting to get comfortable under the covers. He turns the TV on, plays the cooking channel, dims the lights, then turns them off. He puts his phone on Do Not Disturb but then chooses against it, just in case. Just in case you called him, giddy and with slow, slightly slurred sentences like you had that one time. And if that were to be the case, he’d ask you to come over. He’d feed you carbs, get you in the shower, in his bed. And then tomorrow he’d wake up next to you and- he stops himself. Because if he lets his mind go any further, he’s gonna be the one calling you. And asking you to come over – begging for it if need be. 

But even in his rationality, he hopes. Fighting sleep, just in case. 

You never call. 

~

“Pretty,” you say. Because it is. The city, the lights, even as they pass you by faster than you’d like. Your head is out the window, merciless wind hitting your face as the car picked up speed, making your hair dance behind you and your eyes water, smudging the glitter that adorned your cheeks. 

“It certainly is, but hey, __, maybe get back in here?” Lucy tries to reason with you, but it’s to no avail because your arm joins your head and the way the air feels like a heavy mass attempting to go through you is almost hypnotizing. 

Jimin peeks from his seat next to the other window. He giggles when he sees you mid trance. “Is her seatbelt on?”

“Yeah,” Lucy says as she tries to pull you back in. 

“Leave her be, babe. She’s having a cinematic moment.” 

“I’m scared she’s gonna want to jump out or something.”

Jimin laughs at this. “She won’t. Come here.” 

And so Lucy does, stealing glances your way from time to time to make sure you’re doing okay and won’t do anything crazy like fly out the window. 

That’s not what you want, though. You’re simply admiring the view. It feels so good. It feels so good to forget about what pains you for a night. It feels so good to not think about him, even though this thought alone requires you to think about him. You chuckle. Who cares? You’re not thinking about him, even if you are. Your drunken state tells your brain that you’re free of the Jungkook chaos you’ve been in for what feels like way too long. And when your heart tries to meddle, telling you not to be such a fool and reminding you that a week ago you poured your heart out to him, told him the biggest, most important words – the ones you searched for the most in your love stories – right around this time. Who cares? Who cares, you keep reminding your heart, demanding it to let it go, even if just for tonight. 

“We can cry tomorrow,” your voice is but a whisper that gets muffled by the wind, one that only you can hear. “Who cares tonight? Who cares, who cares, who cares…”

You can hear the beginning chords of a melody that you think you recognize coming from inside the car, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. It comes to you slowly though, and when you almost have it, you look behind you and see Jimin and Lucy singing along to the beat of the song. And then it hits you. Your body is inside of the car and you lean forward, hand on the driver’s shoulder.

“Oh my God,” you say to him, “you’re speaking to my soul! And I don’t know if I like it. Turn it up.” He smiles, chuckling at your words before his hand reaches for the console, the song resounding all through the car. 

You lean back on the seat, looking at Lucy before linking your arm with hers. The three of you sing, loud and drunk and happy. 

You can kiss a hundred boys in bars

Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling

You can say it's just the way you are

Make a new excuse, another stupid reason

Good luck, babe (well, good luck), well, good luck, babe (well, good luck)

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Good luck, babe (well, good luck), well, good luck, babe (well, good luck)

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

~

Your head pounds and at first, you don’t understand why. But it pounds so hard it snaps you back into consciousness. Once you are relatively awake you understand why. Not only are you deadly hungover but you’re also in the middle of what you can only describe as chaos. Your window is wide open and there must be a traffic jam going on outside because cars are honking left and right. Elton’s halfway through Tiny Dancer because clearly the first minute of that didn’t do its job at waking you up, and there’s a knock at your door. 

“Come in,” you say, as you switch off your alarm and try to drown out the outside noises by putting a pillow over your head. 

“Good morning, lover.” Lucy enters your room, and when you glance at her from an inch left uncovered by your pillow, you see she’s holding a tray. Iced americano, avocado toast and a sunny side up egg that smells delectable are just a couple of things that make her the best friend in the whole world this morning. The second one is the fact that she’s closing your window and suddenly, it’s peace, quiet and a feast in your room. 

“I’ve done nothing to deserve you.”

“You’ve done plenty.” She smiles and it’s sweet, just like every inch of her. 

“Good morning, dancing queen.” Jimin waltz inside your room, shirtless and with Lucy’s cow print fuzzy headband on his head. 

“I shouldn’t have to see this first thing in the morning, but it’s the price I pay for dancing on top of tables like God did not intend.” 

“Oh, no. I think God was in that room last night.”

“Babe,” Lucy whines. “Leave her alone!”

“Why? It was fun! You’re fun, __. You should come out with us more often, they gave us a bunch of free drinks just because we knew you!” 

You throw your pillow at him and he shrieks and runs away. Both you and Lucy laugh at his theatrics. 

“1 to 10 how much did I embarrass myself last night?” You ask as she hands you your pillow back and you return it to its rightful place over your head. 

“Like, minus 0. You genuinely were the life of the party. All you did was dance and drag everyone along!” 

“I’ll believe you. Thank you for breakfast, Lu.”

“Of course,” she smiles. “Hey, Jimin and I are going to his parent’s beach house for the week. We leave today.” She almost looks apologetic when she says it.

“That sounds so nice, Lu.”

“Yeah,” she says, and her voice takes on the tone she uses when something floats above her head in worry. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I am. But,” she pauses for a second, looking into your eyes. “Are you?”

“Me?” You ask, incredulous and you can see it in her face – how little she buys your act. “I’m fine, Lu. Just tired. It’s been a long week and honestly I probably just need some rest. I’ll try and take loads of naps today.”

She just stares at you for a couple of seconds, deciding your fate. Will she let it slide? Will she press? Will she give you the words of comfort you’re so very sure could make you cry right now and dismantle your lies? 

“You should try and get as much rest as you can.” And the only reason she says that is because they’re running late. 

“And you have fun,” you hug her. “Don’t worry about me, seriously. I’ll rest loads and probably clean around, do some laundry, maybe get some writing done. Ooh, I could meal prep for the week!”

~

You lose a sock on your way to the living room from the kitchen. It makes you stop in your tracks as you glance back and try to see where you’d left it. But it’s nowhere to be found. Oh, well. You shake the can of whipped cream you’d retrieved from the fridge, the cherry on top the most perfect Ben & Jerry’s flavor that has ever existed – chocolate fudge brownie, of course. Your mouth waters at the mere thought and you can’t resist the temptation of having whipped cream at such close proximity and so you swirl a hefty amount inside of your mouth. In perfect cinematic nature, the song that you’ve had on repeat for the past forty five minutes breaks into the chorus (yet again) and now the whipped cream can is your microphone and this living room is your stage. 

You said, "Baby, no attachment"

Your voice is hoarse, the remnants of yesterday’s fun and today’s chaos. 

But we're

You trip on an iPhone charger and it almost sends you flying. But it doesn’t, so you take the opportunity of being jolted forward to add flair to your performance. 

Knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out

Is it casual now?

Two weeks and your mom invites me to her house on Long Beach

Is it casual now?

I know what you tell your friends

It's casual, if it's casual now

Then baby, get me off again

If it's casual, it's casual now

You don’t realize you’re crying until the tears touch your lips, warm and salty and it only makes you sing louder because at this point, you’re just letting yourself go a little insane in the privacy of your own home and the solitude that has been granted to you this sunday morning. So you eat ice cream at 11 a.m. and listen to feminine rage songs. More like, one single feminine rage song. And the more you sing it, the sadder it gets. The girls aren’t enraged. The girls are just sad. 

I fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner

Your parents at the table, you wonder why I'm bitter

Your hands come up and you spin as you sing and cry. 

Bragging to your friends I get off when you hit it

I hate to tell the truth, but I'm sorry dude you didn't

I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself

I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

The song ends and a second later, it starts again. You let it. Most of the lyrics don’t even apply fully to your situation and you can begin to recognize this as your steam is blown and you tire yourself out. And yeah, the lyrics may not all apply to you but some do and it feels good to scream them out loud and to get mad. 

You send a flying kiss to Chappell Roan and thank her for her services. 

~

“God, you’re such an asshole.” Your words are directed at Mr. Darcy, who’s been getting on your nerves for the past hour or so. “But you’re so beautiful. And I know deep down you’re a good man.” And it’s then that your eyes begin to well up yet again. Pride and Prejudice always gets to you. 

Your eyes leave the TV screen for a split second so you can draw your head back and take a bite out of your pizza. It’s delicious – cheesy and delicious, and just what you need. Dancing, singing and crying must burn more calories than you think because that was a workout and now you were exhausted and famished, even though you were halfway through your pizza already. 

“I mean, there you are! With your stupidly good looking face and your bad manners,” you point at Mr. Darcy on the screen. “And all because you can’t tell the girl you love her! Elizabeth, you deserve be-”

Halfway through your speech, you get interrupted by the insistent buzzing that comes from your phone. Your eyes scan the couch on the search for it but it’s nowhere to be found. You shove blankets and pillows aside and the more it buzzes, the more frantically you search. You find it under your pizza box right before it’s about to disconnect, quickly sliding your finger across the screen so you can answer the call, not having time to second glance at the contact. 

“Hello?!” You yell into the receiver. 

You hear Jungkook chuckle from the other end of the line and you quite literally choke on your spit, making you cough wide eyed and surprised. “Woah, woah. You okay?”

You hate that he cares. And you hate his little chuckles and how quickly he can disarm you because you feel the way your voice is about to go soft on him. You make sure to clear your throat (and shake the softness off) before replying.

“Yeah, yeah. I just have a bit of a sore throat.”

“So it was a good night, I presume.”

“Yeah, actually. The best.”

Your words are fast and sharp and Jungkook feels the sting. But nonetheless, he’s still oblivious. He blames the sting on his own childish ways of missing you too much even though he’d seen you every day this week. He blames it on the part of him that went to bed last night stubbornly wishing you’d be next to him. And so he opts to be bigger and better than his feelings, collecting himself before he responds.

“I’m glad, baby.” You’re quiet on the other end of the line. “Hey, so… we were just at brunch with my parents.”

“How’d it go?”

“Same old,” and it was true. It’d been awkward at first but then simply filled with small talk and the three of them swooning over Soori, to Jungkook’s fortune. “But I was thinking maybe I could pick you up and you could come over? We could lay by the pool, I could make us some dinner later…”

Your eyes scan the room. They land on the pizza box and then on Mr. Darcy on the TV, mid-sentence in what is probably useless words because none of them are what he actually feels. 

“I have a terrible hangover, being out by the sun would probably make it worse.”

“That’s ‘kay. We could watch movies instead.”

You sigh, your heart breaking at your coldness when you say, “I’ve had a long week, I think it’d be better if I just took it easy today and got some rest. I’m sorry.”

And as oblivious as Jungkook could be in the moment, no oblivion could stand between him and the way your words break something inside his heart in more ways than just disappointment. 

“Oh,” is all he can say. 

“But you guys have fun, okay? Give Soori kisses from me and enjoy the water. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Y-yeah. Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow, baby.” Jungkook wonders why the pet name he’s grown so familiar to calling you feels so foreign as they pass his lips now. “Bye.”

You linger. You wait, in silence, the soft static and words left unsaid. 

“Bye.”

I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you and I hate that you don’t love me back and I can’t do with hating that I love you and I could never do with hating you because I love you. 

When you fall asleep around thirty minutes later, it’s with heavy eyes and tears you’d been collecting ever since. You fall asleep before Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth can get their happy ending. 

~

Monday morning feels like hell. Getting out of bed feels nearly impossible and when you finally muster the strength to do so, you feel a headache coming up that threatens to linger for the whole day. You take some Tylenol, caffeinate yourself and eat whatever you can stomach. And since you hadn’t taken the time to make yourself an elaborate breakfast, you get fifteen extra minutes that you use to make yourself look better, in hopes that it helps you feel better. You take your time as you brush through your hair and get really close to the mirror as you apply your makeup, blending and dusting products on with more care than you have in years. You can feel the heat that takes on the day, despite it only being 7 a.m. and so when you stand in front of your closet you try to keep it light. You settle on a pink linen dress that’s a bit too short but still acceptable to go serve your duties as a nanny. And perhaps vanity could cure a broken heart because by the time you leave the house, your strut has a bit more of confidence to it and your mentality consists of more who cares rather than why me?

You settle on the bus seat, reaching for your book but there’s something about Sense and Sensibility you’re simply not in the mood for today. And so you put your headphones on and scroll through your playlists. You’re just a girl, so of course there’s a perfectly curated selection of songs for any occasion and so today’s choice is one titled so sad, so sexy. It’s feminine rage meets bad bitch anthems and your subconscious decides it’s this episode’s soundtrack. 

Mrs. Chae greets you at the door, like every morning, only today she smiles a little wider. 

“You look very pretty today, ___.”

You smile at her, asking her about her weekend as you make your way to the kitchen. You offer to make her some coffee as she gets Jungkook’s ready and it takes a little bit of insisting but she finally lets you treat her. As the minutes pass, though, you start feeling nervous. You hadn’t quite planned how you’d manage your feelings when you saw Jungkook this morning and every little noise has you jumpy and alert. You get Soori’s breakfast ready, cursing how quickly porridge cooks and your immaculate fruit chopping skills, because you’re done faster than you’d think and now you’re hands free and anxious again. 

“Mrs. Chae, let me help you fold laundry.”

“Fold laundry?!”

“Yes! I’m quite good at it. I worked at a little boutique all through my teenage years.”

“No.”

“Please. Just Soori’s at least.”

She looks at you intently for about five seconds, narrowing her eyes. “Her clothes are in the pink basket.”

You do a little cheer and thank her and she shakes her head at you but you can see the way she smiles. You get to folding her tiny clothes, cooing at how cute and tiny they are. You laugh at how her funny t-shirts that have kermit the Frog, Bluey and Wonder Pets prints get mixed with her nicer pieces that are full of tulle and fancy fabrics or are full on designer. But your favorites are the mini versions of Jungkook’s clothes that he always pairs with pink bows or colorful socks. It makes your heart melt. 

“Good morning,” Jungkook’s voice snaps you out of your trance. “Why are you folding laundry?”

“Don’t look at me, Mr. Jungkook,” Mrs. Chae defends, placing the tray that holds his iced americano on the kitchen island. 

“It relaxes me,” you say, arms reaching for Soori who falls straight into them. “Good morning, munchkin. You hungry?”

“I have to leave now. Emergency meeting at the office.”

“But your coffee,” you hate that you care, but you do. Not to mention that it already worries you that it’s all he has for breakfast. 

He doesn’t look up from his phone when he says, “At the office. Have a nice day, Mrs. Chae.”

You follow him as he makes his way to the door. You can tell he’s stressed just by being in his proximity and it almost reminds you of when you first started working for him, those very first cold and distant weeks. But when he turns around and takes Soori into his arms, he softens and grows mushy again. 

“I’ll see you tonight, baby. Be good for daddy, okay?” He kisses her cheeks. “You’ve recovered, I hope.” He says this to you. 

“Good as new.” You force a smile.

“I’m glad. I’m gonna be late again today, we’re hoping to close this deal this week and we’re in a time crunch. I’ve told Suelgi to pick Soori up in the afternoon-”

“What? Why?”

“Well, you stayed with her last week and-”

“Yeah, that’s my job. That’s what you pay me to do, remember? Also, it messes up with her routine so I’ll keep her and we’ll wait for you right here.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“___-” you don’t let him finish, fearing to fall into a conversation you can’t have right now. You grab the back of his head and bring him close to you until your lips are on his. You feel him relax against your touch and he deepens the kiss, even if for a brief second before you’re pulling away. 

“Have a good day. We’ll see you tonight.”

~

On Tuesday you keep your anxiety at bay by making Soori a really elaborate breakfast. And you’re speaking the whole ordeal. Eggs, cherry tomatoes that you cut up really small, all her favorite assortment of fruits (blueberries, strawberries and pears), avocado that you mash and season with salt, pepper and lemon juice. You even cut her toast in tiny hearts that adorn the corners of her plate. When Jungkook walks inside the kitchen that morning, you’re getting started on her meal prep for lunch. Cooking for Soori wasn’t really on your job description but you liked to be as involved as you could in her feeding and so you’d silently taken on the responsibility. She liked to watch you cook, clapped along as you played music and danced around the kitchen, giving her a show. 

You don’t hear him come in and Jungkook takes the time to let himself stare at you. Amidst the stress and exhaustion, you’re pure sunshine that creeps into his home each morning and for that he’s grateful. If yesterday you threatened to make him late for work, which he really couldn’t afford this week, today you’re making him wish he could throw all the contracts out the window and live in a world that rotated around your axis. He doesn’t know if it’s the way your lips are a tone redder today, or if it’s the way you have your hair up in a bun that somehow looks both disheveled and put together, thin strands of hair framing your face as you concentrate on the way your hands carefully peel the pear. You’re pouting, the way you often do when you’re focused on something and he thinks about how quickly he can get out of this kitchen so he can kiss you. You’re also wearing red, which is a color he doesn’t often see you sport but he makes a mental note to store it under favorites. Your dress is tight around your waist and then flairs out and he knows it’s short because the weather is hot and you know how to dress for it. Jungkook begins to feel hot, too. The straps are held by a bow that rests on top of your shoulders and one of them falls down your arm and he swears to himself this all just happened in slow motion. 

“Mr. Jungkook, good morning.” Mrs. Chae places the tray on the kitchen island with a little more force than she’d originally intended. This makes you jump and it takes Jungkook about a beat too long to come back to his senses. 

“Good morning,” he clears his throat when his voice falters. 

Oh, damn you, Jeon Jungkook in dress pants and a white shirt that hugs your body a little too nicely to be true. 

“Nana,” Soori shrieks, excited to see you as you walk over to them. 

“Hi baby, I missed you.” The moment your arms outstretch towards her, she’s falling into them. You look at Jungkook. “Hey.”

“Hey- how are you?”

“I’m good. Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Both Mrs. Chae and Soori stare at the two of you in confusion. 

“Nana,” this time she tries to get your attention, hitting you with her plush toy. You notice it’s shaped like a mille-feuille, courtesy of Lucy. 

“Is she- is that what she calls you?” Jungkook asks.

“I don’t know… it’s the first time she does it more than once in a row.”

“Cute,” he says, smiling. His face grows serious again when he sees Mrs. Chae smirking from the corner of her eye. 

“She’s cute. Want breakfast, baby?” And Jungkook is so entranced by you this morning he almost says yes. “We’ve got blueberries and strawberries and pears. Can you say pears?”

“Nana,” she smiles and is immediately forgiven. 

When you’re by the door saying goodbye, Jungkook’s about to kiss you, and there’s nothing in the world he wants more right this second. And as he leans in and mentally chants victory, his phone starts ringing. It’s Jin, and he knows it’s important. He should’ve taken his call ten minutes ago. His eyes close for a second, sighing in frustration before he picks up the phone. 

“Yeah, talk to me.”

You don’t mean to be so cruel, but alas, you smile. 

~

On Wednesday, it’s Jungkook who opens the door for you and by the looks of it, he’s on his way out, phone pressed to his ear as he steps aside to let you in. 

“Yeah, if you could please have those papers on my desk when I get there- yeah. Thank you, Kay. You’re the best.”

You roll your eyes, but it’s mentally. Inside your head so he can’t see. If you had a dollar for every time you’ve heard Jungkook say she’s the best you’d have two dollars, which is two dollars too many.

“Hey,” he says, eyes still on his phone as he reads what you can see is a really long email. 

“Good morning. What’s going on?”

“I have to run. Soori’s in the kitchen, she’s had a bit of a rough morning. She’s having a bottle right now.” He types as he tells you this. You want to shake him and tell him to look at you. 

“Is everything okay?”

His eyes meet yours. “Yeah, just- closing deals is hectic. That’s all. Everything okay with you?”

No.

“Yes.”

“Great.”

Great.

“Great!” 

“I’ll see you tonight?” 

“Sure.”

He presses his phone to his ear once again and turns around, walking towards his car, the loud beep startling you a bit as he unlocks it. You yell at him, mentally. Inside your head, so he can’t see. 

~

Soori was in fact having a rough morning, and her mood lingers throughout the day. She was a really good, happy baby so on bad days like these you knew something had to be bothering her. You’d found the root of the problem in the middle of a very dramatic cry, as her head swung backwards and her mouth opened to let out a loud wail. Her first back tooth was coming in. She was in pain, rightfully so, and nothing quite pleased her but you tried to do your best. She got extra cuddles and an extra morning nap. You’d made her strawberry juice lollipops so she could chew on for relief and mostly let her play throughout the day. She wanted to be held for the most part, though, and you had to admit you weren’t about to complain. You loved when she let you hold her and hug her and squeeze her. 

You’re halfway through a very softly sung version of Hey Jude when Jungkook calls you. It’s quarter past seven and you were winding down Soori for the night.

“Hi,” you say, voice a whisper so as to not wind her up. 

“Hey. How are you guys doing?”

“Good. She’s getting sleepy, she’ll be out in the next twenty or so. Her first molar is coming in, that’s why she’s fuzzy.”

“Oh, shit. Should’ve thought of that.”

“She’s doing okay now. She just needed extra cuddles.”

“I wish I could’ve been there today. Thank you, ___.”

“My pleasure. How’s your day? It’s late… are you coming home soon?”

And Jungkook knows you’re not asking for any other reason other than the fact you care about him. About his wellbeing and peace of mind. You took care of him in more ways than you probably realized because it just came as second nature to you, to be so caring. You, on the other hand, can’t help the way your heart plays onto the little fantasy. The one in which you wait for him to come home – a home of your own. He comes home to you after a long day and you sit on the couch and order take out and you make sure he has dinner because, to be fair, you’re not sure he does when you leave at night and the worry follows you until you get home even though you know that he can’t go hungry for more than twenty minutes. But you care, so you worry. 

Ugh!

“Yeah. I just have to go through,” he pauses, taking a look around him, “two more contracts. I’ll be there in about an hour or so.”

“I’ll give her a good night kiss from you.”

“Thank you, baby. I’ll see you soon.”

“See you,” and you hang up because if you don’t, you’ll fucking blurt those three words at him again, because in your little fantasy, it’s only natural. It’s only natural that you tell him you love him before you hang up the phone. 

God, life was playing tricky, tricky games on your heart. Ones that you were out of ideas on how to defeat. 

~

Soori had knocked out not too long after that. She’d been visibly exhausted from the discomfort and pain she’d carried all day and you could only hope tomorrow was better. You make a mental note to search up some toothing relief methods on your way home. You give her two forehead kisses before laying her down on her crib, placing her little mille-feuille plushie under her arm. 

You make your way to the kitchen, turning on every light that you pass because if you were to be honest, Jungkook’s house intimidated you a little bit during the night. It was just so big and spacious, wide hallways that felt never ending. You liked how quiet it was, though. A sense of peace filling you as you put the kettle on to make yourself a cup of tea. His selection was impressive and you wondered why. You don’t think you’d ever seen him drink tea… you wonder if this was one of the remaining bits of Ira that still lingered around the house. There weren’t many, but it was impossible to fully erase her. There was a mug in the cupboards with the letter I and right next to it, one with the letter J. Her white Mercedes Benz that still sat on the driveway, too. And even though she’d cleared her clothes from the closet, you’d once seen a pretty black dress that you could only assume had once belonged to her. 

You opt for a fancy looking ginger and lemon tea, taking your time to let the leafs brew in the hot water. Thinking of him, of her, of Soori. Of how much you’d weaved your way inside his home, his family, without the details of what landed you here in the first place. I mean, you know some of it, but not the whole story. And then again, how much of a story was there? Her departure had seemed final and abrupt and in your anger, you doubted her words and explanations truly mattered. 

You move through the kitchen, down the dining hall and into the living room at a slow pace, taking it all in. You try to remember if you’ve ever been here alone, when it’s so empty and quiet but you can’t place any memory of the sort. You walk over to the big, tall bookshelf that stood against the wall. It was mostly for decoration, you’d assumed – a bunch of color coordinated books that matched the aesthetic of the living space perfectly. You recognize some titles and some others seem old. Pages on art, architecture, travel and fashion. Your eyes land on one that doesn’t seem to have a name, the spine empty in smooth leather. You reach for it, its weight sitting heavy on your hands. It was big, too and it looked like it held something important. Something that you couldn’t find in a bookshop or library. You know you probably shouldn’t, but your curiosity gets the best of you. You sit on the sofa, tea cup long forgotten on the table, lifting the heavy cover to reveal a white page that held a handwritten note. 

To our Soori Blue,

Our darling girl, you are so very loved, and this is your story so far. This is where you come from and this is how you were loved from the very beginning, even before you were here. When you were but a little star waiting in the sky for your mommy and daddy to multiply the love they have for each other to make you. You’re born from love, Soori, and your parents are proof of that, because they love each other so very much. Waiting for you was hard because we couldn’t wait to hold you and getting to be your Godparents is one of our biggest blessings. You are so loved, you are so special and you will always have us. 

Love,

Auntie Mai and Uncle Taehyung

 You turn the page, a picture of Jungkook and Ira taking most of the frame. They’re pulling faces as they pose for the camera and behind them is the city skyline and a sunset that paints the sky pink and orange. She blows a kiss and Jungkook throws a peace sign as he winks. Under the picture, a caption in neat black font that reads, “this is from the day your mommy and daddy first met. Everyone says it was instant: how they fell in love. I bet they would’ve not believed it if they knew that only a couple of years later, you’d be here!” 

The next picture is a magazine cover, Ira gracing the page, her long, blonde hair dancing in the wind, eyes not fully meeting the camera as she smiles. She looks carefree and young, a beautiful blue dress adorning her body, making her blue eyes shine even from a distance. “This is your mommy. Isn’t she so beautiful? She’s smart, funny, kind and loved by many people around the world. But no one loves her the way we do!”

You turn the page, a picture of Jungkook standing in front of The West End, bright smile on his face. “This is your daddy. He’s really good at his job! He’s funny, cool and generous. He can’t stay still and he’s good at everything he does, first try! We love him a lot.”

Their relationship pans over the years as you leaf through the pages. Ira and Jungkook at the beach, in very many destinations around the world, on Christmas and holidays, with their families and friends, in the comfort of their home and in events and galas. The day they made their relationship official, accompanied by, “it was out of a fairytale!” and birthday celebrations that said, “your daddy spoils your mommy so very much, we’re kinda scared he’ll do the same with you!” as Ira poses in rooms filled with roses and balloons and boxes full of presents. 

You pay particular attention at a picture of Jungkook and Ira, a selfie that seems to have been taken on film. They’re in the kitchen, bright smiles and red, puffy eyes, like they’d been crying. “On this morning, your mommy and daddy found out about you! They were a little scared, but so very happy. You filled them with light, Soori. Just look at those smiles! They couldn’t wait to hold you – it was going to be nine long months!”

Then it’s all of them, out in the garden, Ira in the middle as they point to her stomach. “And on this day we found out about you! We were so happy!! We’d never seen your mommy and daddy so excited, you had a closet full of clothes already and they didn’t even know if you were a girl or a boy yet!”

Ira in an ultrasound, “your mommy and daddy were so happy to hear your heartbeat for the first time.”

Jungkook kissing her stomach, “deep down, your daddy always knew you were a girl. Your mommy was convinced you were a boy, though!”

Jungkook and Ira standing in the garden, pink confetti flying over them. “You’re a girl, Soori Blue!!!!”

The pictures progress with the passing of time, each one with a caption full of hope and love. A picture of Soori as a newborn representing her birth, a carbon copy of Jungkook that makes your heart seize inside your chest. Then pictures of her with her uncles and aunties, their families, Jungkook and Ira, who kiss her each on one cheek in the majority of them. You miss the way Ira smile changes, the way her gaze looks empty after a while. All you see is love, what Soori is truly made of. 

You blame your next thought on how overly emotional this past week has been, how tumultuously you’ve experienced every feeling. 

“There’s all types of love, but never the same love twice.”

You wonder if that had been it for Jungkook. If he would ever be able to experience the love he had for Ira again. You wonder if perhaps he’d ran out of love to give and if that was the case, you couldn’t blame him. You reach the final page; a picture of the three of them, Jungkook holds Soori in his arms and Ira wraps hers around them. She’s looking at him, a smile on her face as they stand in front of the sea. The water is blue and the day looks bright and they’re perfect. They’re love. The real kind, your brain argues. The kind that takes years to nurture, the kind that faces adversities and triumphs. The one that reproduces itself into the most perfect combination of every good thing about both ends. Soori is only a couple of months old but she smiles into the camera and for the first time, you see both Ira and Jungkook in her. 

~

You’d placed the photobook right where you’d found it and for the past thirty minutes, you’d been staring at the glass doors that led to the garden, in complete silence, though your thoughts are loud. You don’t hear Jungkook come in and it’s only when he sits on the couch next to you that you fully notice his presence. 

“What a fucking day,” he sighs, leaning back into the cushions and closing his eyes. 

You look at him for a long time, and he doesn’t acknowledge your silence. 

“You’re home now,” you say, even though it’s not the home you’d want it to be. 

“Yeah,” he looks at you. “How’s Soo?”

“Good. Sleeping.”

“Thank you for staying with her.”

“Of course.”

“I’m fucking starving,” he says, sinking further into the couch, his head turning to face you. “You hungry? Want some ramen?”

You simply nod and that has him getting up from the couch, hand reaching for yours. You walk into the kitchen together, your fingers entwined in his and the simple act sends electric currents down your body. It’s funny how unaware you can be about touch until it’s the right person’s skin against your very own, because what you feel right now, you hadn’t felt in days. 

You miss his touch instantly as he moves on to making dinner. 

“How was your day,” you ask, because you’re tired of the silence, and you’re tired of putting in an effort at keeping your heart quiet. 

“Long. And exhausting. Never ending, even.” And Jungkook doesn’t mean to whine and complain but then again, it’s not like he was lying. His day had been hell and just when he thought it was over, another problem presented itself right before his eyes. 

“What exactly are you working on right now?”

He looks up at you before he says, “I’m buying land to build a hotel in the Alps.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Funny, huh?”

“Your live is unreal to me sometimes.”

He pours water into a pot, placing it over the stove to bring to a boil. He stalls for a minute, remembering where they kept the ramen packets. “Yeah, to me too.”

You point to the cabinets behind him, and he gives you a quick smile in acknowledgement. 

“So, is that what’s taking up all of your time?”

“Yeah, sort of. It’s just a lot of politics and strategy. Meeting in the middle and settling and whatnot. Some of these people are so hard to negotiate with, though. They know real estate, but not hotels.”

“Well, I’d assume not many people do. And I’d assume what you know, you learned at a very young age.”

“Well, not quite. I wasn’t always interested in my field of work, believe it or not.”

“Nonetheless, you grew up around it.”

“So?”

“So, it’s a privilege that you have access to all of this knowledge. What you know- the way you know it, that can’t be taught in a classroom.”

“Well, no. It requires experience.”

Jungkook catches the way you roll your eyes, a huff leaving your mouth as you smile. 

“What?” He says.

“Nothing.”

“It’s okay, you can say it.”

You raise an eyebrow in defense. “Say what?”

“You know, give me the whole nepotism talk.”

“I wasn’t going to do that.”

“Yeah, sure.” He smiles but there’s nothing soft about the action. “Dinner’s ready.”

You stand in deafening silence for a minute, eyes on his, like this is the beginning of something you won’t be able to stop without someone getting hurt. 

“I think I’m gonna go home. I’m tired,” you say, turning around and getting ready to leave. 

“Oh, come on.” 

And that makes you stop in your tracks, turning so you can face him again, eyes narrowed and lips ready to spit venom if you so pleased. 

“I don’t feel like fighting with you right now, Jungkook.” And you could’ve left it at that, and perhaps it would’ve been better, but you don’t. “Oh, wait. I don’t have to do that. Because you seem to know what I want to say.”

He walks closer to you and nothing in his face tells you he’s about to extinguish the flames that seem to grow taller between you. 

“Your poker face isn’t all that good, baby.”

“I’m glad my intentions came across clear as day.”

He smiles, eyes diverting from you for a second before his gaze pierces yours once again. You inch closer to him and it’s barely noticeable, scowling back at him. Your blood feels hot and the flame grows bigger, more violent, only the fire gets lost in something else. Something that is only understood the moment Jungkook is pulling you closer and his lips are crashing onto yours in a kiss that makes the warmth travel throughout your body until the whole room is scolding hot. 

Your lips part but a second as you catch your breaths, chests heaving in sync, impossibly close. You try to find words, form a thought, anything that could leave your lips in a coherent sentence but you’re left with nothing. Blank, red, heat. It’s all you can think about. Him and his proximity. When Jungkook diverts his gaze from your eyes to your lips, it’s you that crashes your lips to his once again, deepening the kiss as your fingers tangle in his hair. Both his hands wrap around your waist, squeezing at the flesh and he curses the fabric that comes between his fingertips and your skin. He longs to touch you, he longs to have you and his life was starting to feel like a waiting game when it came to you. He didn’t think he could go a second longer entertaining it.

He walks you backwards until your back hits the kitchen island, flushing himself to you until he’s pressing you against it. Your hands roam down his body, starting down his arms and up his torso, until they’re on his neck again and you wrap your arms around it, hugging him to you. His hands travel to your ass, squeezing before he’s picking you up and sitting you on the counter, taking one step closer so he stands snuggly between your legs as they close around him. And you kiss. You kiss with intention but no direction, his tongue parting your lips and meeting yours halfway – sloppy, messy, needy. His hands travel under your dress until he’s squeezing the flesh on your thighs, drawing you closer to him. You loose track of time, not a care in the world but his lips on yours and so does Jungkook, who doesn’t realize how much he’s aching for you until your hips are involuntarily grinding against his. His cock jumps and he’s more alert of you than ever, a throaty moan escaping his lips as you repeat the motion. 

You feel it, too. And some part of your brain tries to tell you that your body’s betraying you. That you’re kissing him with the same mouth that holds secrets from him, anger even. But you don’t care. Your heart leaps the closer he pulls you in and your skin feels wired with electricity the more the sensation of wanting him begins to take over your body. You want him, you need him, and when he’s so supple for you the way he is now there’s no way you could deny yourself the pleasure of having him. 

Your hand begins its descend, squeezing at the nape of his neck, down his chest and toned abdomen, taking a detour to untuck his shirt from under his pants, letting your hands roam inside, feeling his warm skin against them. You feel the way he sucks in a sharp breath, tummy caving in at your touch in anticipation. You smile against his lips and he kisses you harder, palms squeezing your flesh. You finally give him what he wants when your hand closes around his cock, making it pulse against the fabric of his pants. The moan that escapes his mouth borders on a whine and it’s so delicious it has you throwing your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your skull. His lips find your neck, kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin, rejoicing in the little whines that you let out at the feeling. 

He breaks the kiss, reluctantly removing his hands from your body so he can unbutton his shirt, unable to handle the heavy nature the air has taken around him. You lean back, palms resting against the cool marble of the counter, cocking your head to the side and taking him in. You notice him noticing you, and you don’t miss the way he slows down his movements, taking his time all of a sudden, giving you a show. You smile, lip caught between your teeth and you feel the need to close your legs, an impulse reaction at the need of friction. Jungkook notices this, your body jerking slightly, face delirious, eyes desperate and he chuckles. It has bite and attitude, and you raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Don’t get cocky now,” you say, brain short-circuiting when he finally removes his shirt.

“I won’t. Need you too badly to play games right now.”

His words barely register because as soon as they leave him, his lips are back on yours, twice as fervently as before, his purpose clear. You give into him, not wanting to play games either. 

“I need you to touch me, Jungkook.”

His hand comes down to your breast, squeezing and pulling sweet little noises from you. 

“Yeah, baby?”

Your hands find his waistband, undoing the button of his pants, his zipper following, until your hand is traveling down his boxers and gripping around his cock, making him hiss at the contact. 

“Oh, fuck.” His voice is hoarse, deep. Your hand begins to move, thumb collecting the pre cum before you’re circling it around his tip. He bites your bottom lip as you begin to stroke languidly, applying pressure here and there, teasing him. 

“Are you gonna fuck me in the kitchen, Jungkookie?”

“Yeah. It’ll ruin my mornings forever, though.”

You pout, mocking innocence. “Why’s that?”

“Every morning, when I walk in here,” his hands travel under your dress again, fingers toying with the waistband of your underwear. “I’m gonna see you behind this counter,” he kisses you, a gasp leaving your lips as he hooks his index finger down the side of your panties, a soft touch to your skin. “Making coffee, cooking breakfast.” His middle finger spreads your folds, a soft hum passing his lips when he notices how wet you are. “In your short little dresses, acting like you don’t know what you do to me.”

“I-I don’t,” and he doesn’t let you finish your sentence. Middle and index finger entering you slowly, eyes on yours as his face grows confused. 

“You don’t?”

“N-no, mm, Jungkook,” you plead.

“Say please.”

“Please.”

“You’re so good, baby.” He kisses you, fingers picking up pace inside of you, finding that spot that has you arching your back for him in no time. “But you know what?”

“W-what?” Your eyes snap open, silently pleading that he doesn’t stop. 

“I think you do know.” His fingers stop and he smirks when your face falls. Your eyes travel down, following the way his hand wraps around his cock, spreading your wetness all over it. “I think you know exactly what you’re doing.” He pushes your panties to the side before his tip teases your entrance, a moan escaping both your lips in unison. “And I think you like it.” He pushes inside of you and you sigh. He thinks it’s sweet, the way you react to him. You feel so good around him. He cups your cheek, pressing his forehead to yours before stealing a kiss from your lips. “Don’t you like it, baby?”

“Yes. I like it, fuck.” You don’t even knowing what you’re agreeing on at this point and you don’t care, too entranced by the way his cock stretches your walls so perfectly, hitting it so fucking good it’s almost like he was made for your pussy. And in this moment, Jungkook is sure of it. 

“Shit, baby. You feel so good.”

And sure, Jungkook could fuck you at this leisurely pace for the rest of his life, getting to feel every inch of you until it drove him fucking insane. But he wanted more – he needed more – and the way you were digging your nails in his biceps told him that you did, too. When he pulls away, you whine, narrowing your eyes at him and then rolling them when he simply responds with a, “patience.” He wastes no time removing your panties, throwing them behind him before he hooks his hand under your knee, bringing your leg up until your foot is resting against the kitchen counter. He starts fucking you again, but harder this time and the angle is so fucking perfect you swear you begin to see stars in your eyes, feeling a bit lightheaded at the feeling. He kisses down your neck again, letting himself enjoy how good you sound, and how good you feel. How good your skin tastes on his tongue. 

“Don’t stop, baby, oh my God.”

And so he locks in the pace, middle finger finding your clit and circling around it until he feels the way your body begins to shake in his hold, pussy clenching around him. 

“Fuck, yeah, baby. Cum for me,  ___.”

Your body shakes, moans getting louder as he kisses you and you can feel the way he smiles against your lips. He fucks you slow, letting you come down from your high, kissing you passionately and making your mind go hazy with every touch. Every little thing he does sends your mind into a frenzy and you fucking love the feeling. Your body is completely submitted to him, and you let him do whatever he wants to you. You let him kiss you, you let him hold you when he brings you down from the counter and your legs fail you. He laughs and you shush him and then you let him kiss you again. You let him turn you around, gently push you down until the upper half of your body rests against the cold marble. His legs part yours, hands uncovering you as he pushes your dress up and out of the way. He runs his hands down your body gently and you close your eyes, enjoying the moment, content little sighs leaving your mouth. He plays with your pussy, as he kisses down your back and when you begin to clench around his fingers, he fucks you like this. He goes hard, but he goes slow and he grunts when you throw your ass back, meeting him halfway. He spanks you once, twice, making you gasp and wish you had the strength to go for hours. 

“I’m gonna cum, baby. God, you’re so fucking hot.”

“Please, Jungkook- I need it, please.”

And you’re so pliant, so willing to give him anything he wants. So willing to give yourself to him his cock and heart are basically battling for blood at this point. 

“Nngh- I’m gonna cum.”

You feel his warmth hit your ass, some landing on your back, and it makes you giggle, feeling a tad bit delirious at how ridiculously good that can feel. 

“Truce?” You look back at him, but he’s too enthralled by the way his cum paints your ass. 

“Mhm,” he musters after a second too long. 

“You’re such a boy.”

“And you have such a nice ass.”

He cleans you up with his shirt, helping you step inside your panties and even pulls them up himself. When he comes back up, standing in front of you, he kisses you. Not lustfully, not for the heat of the moment, but for something more. Something that says I’ve missed you. Your heart begins to transform into the odd shape it’d been in the past couple of days because all you can think of is how much you loved him right now. How much you’ve loved him, even amidst your anger and disappointment. You knew it, your body knew it, and now your heart was angry again. 

“Stay the night,” he says. “We’ll tell Mrs. Chae that you got here earlier. Or we’ll sneak you out through a window, I don’t know. But stay.”

Jungkook is just trying to be funny, but his words hurt. And you know they shouldn’t. You know you’d agreed to take things slow, to let him heal and test the waters but your decisions had made you selfish and right now, you had no way of controlling how much you wanted what you wanted. 

“I,” you pause, looking into his eyes. “I better go.”

“Why?”

“I should get home and shower and try to rest before tomorrow. Plus, I don’t have clothes or anything here and- I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Jungkook scans your eyes, trying to find the reason as to why your perfectly logical answer makes him feel so uneasy. But he can’t. He can’t find it, but he also can’t shake the feeling. 

“Okay.” He kisses you again. “I’m sorry for being a dick earlier. I let my exhaustion get the best of me.”

You smile at him. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, too. I don’t think you’re a nepo baby.”

“Mmm,” he plays, making you laugh.

“Only a little. But I would never say it to your face.”

“Oh, you’re so sweet.”

“I am, aren’t I?”

He nods, kissing you again. And in that moment, you wonder if you’d ever felt your heart break and fall at the same time. 

~

★taglist★

@roro-in-utopia @yiyi4657 @littlrmills14-blog @namjooningelsewhere@drownforryou @iwanttohitmyself @finelinememories @yukiehyukie@shatzkrinslinzki @bts-fic-recs-mess @kokoandkookie @subtlepjiminie@hobipost @kookiesbreaky @di0rgguk @bloopkook @babyrosieareroses@kookiecrumb @casspirit0705 @eclectictacozinewobbler @tickledpink55@rjsmochii @dimcorner @miniiimee @vintageroses10 @amyniu @tessxblxckthorn@emotionaltrashcansblog @fangirl125reader @laurynne5 @thickgrinch@dianaxnyc @ruinsofangels @berryonasummerevening @taeslarityy@hisunshiine @preciouschiminie @ruclements @galaxyflab @jalexad@missseoulite @bangtannoonalvg @kootonins @lustremyg @kissme-ornot@92thk @everythingaboutfangirling @cakecobain @callmejimmeo @simp4tae@landl7xoxo @jungjoonie @sanfransolomitatm

[love-belle]

i'd like to hang out with you for my whole life !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which he loves her but so does everyone else. a bit too much.

or

for when everybody wanna steal your girl. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - been on my writing grind lately!!! another lando social media au will be posted in a few minutes i swear im working on it <3 i hope you like this, thank you so much for reading!!! i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc and 989,924 others

yourusername i'd like to hang out with u my whole life

tagged charles_leclerc

12,528 comments

username GOODNIGHT.

username NOT STAY STAY STAY I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH

username oh.

username how the FUCK am i supposed to move on from THIS.

lewishamilton blessings and love 🤍

*liked by yourusername*

username they're so in love im SICK

username i am SO happy for u and ur ugly fucking boyfriend i MEAN it

username i want this oh my god

username they're so parents im in love with them ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

carmenmmundt so cute!! 💗

*liked by yourusername*

username he's so boyfriend coded like

username their love is so pure like 🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤

username i know we highk bully charles about "stealing" y/n but their relationship is so ‼️‼️‼️

landonorris cute ig 🙄🙄🙄

-> yourusername thank u i know that must've made u throw up

username OH MY GOD

username he looks so 😭😭😭😭😭

username god when will it be me

charles_leclerc i don't think i mind that for even one second

-> yourusername i love you <3

-> username OG NY UKF I EILL SCREAMC

username this is me logging off for the day goodbye.

username so close to microwaving a spoon

username PARENTS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe and 998,136 others

charles_leclerc i'll never finish falling in love with you

tagged yourusername

13,628 comments

username THE CAPTION

username im deceased actually

username SHE'S SO

username MOTHER

username charles i seriously need u to square the fuck up

lilymhe the prettiest 💌

*liked by charles_leclerc*

username she's so girlfriend

username *OUR girlfriend

username i will never move on from these pictures 💔💔💔

username *WE'LL

carlossainz55 she just giggled just thought you should know

-> yourusername i will never teehee for a man no matter how big his titties are thank u

-> charles_leclerc it's okay cherié ❤️ you can giggle

-> yourusername i did not GIGGLE

username she's so lana del ray coded like it's INSANE

username lolololol i just fell in love

username my bi awakening ❤️❤️❤️

-> username ur so real for that

username charles is so down bad and i, for one, cannot blame him

username man saw people on twitter talking shit and decided to tell everyone who's ACTUALLY her boyfriend

username she's so AHHHSHSJSJDBXNSJS

username i am in love like no 🧢

pierregasly we know u tell us that everyday

-> charles_leclerc and i will continue to do so ❤️

username im so gay like WOAH

username she's so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourusername u own my entire heart like what. u dumbass i love u SO much like actually im so ❤️❤️❤️ for u

-> charles_leclerc i'm so ❤️❤️❤️ for you too mon amour

username "im so ❤️❤️❤️ for u" CAN U HEAR ME SCREAMING

username they're so in love like i throw up a little

username they really be setting the standards pretty high huh

username if my future relationship isn't like this then i don't want it.

username im a simple girl i just want someone to love me the way charles loves y/n

[zirconika]

hii! i NEED daryl angst like where his partner gets bitten or something? or maybe she passes in child birth? It's up to you, just something on how he would react and cope ig? i love your writing! btw :)) 💗

happy ending

⇚ NAVIGATION || MASTERLIST

PAIRING: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader WORDS: 3k SUMMARY: Several times you thought you would die, and yet nothing could have prepared you for saying goodbye just when you finally have your little family with Daryl and your little ray of sunshine. WARNINGS: think about angst then double it and give it to yourself. major character death. talks of pregnancy and childbirth. SETTING: commonwealth A/N: definitely my most gut-wrenching fic so far. i love u nonnie thank u for ur kind words!!! reblogs are appreciated <3

Many times, death has attempted to recruit you into its care, beckoning you to stay. And in every single attempt, you managed to resist: the flu in prison, the uninfected arrow Dwight sent flying that hit your shoulder, and just a month ago when you brought your little girl into the world.

At the center of it all was Daryl Dixon. In every instance you thought it was your time to pass, Daryl was there. You’ve said goodbye more times than you can count, and you thought you were ready.

“Daryl?” you’d called out to him when you wavered in between life and death, your shoulder sore from the arrow hit. He’d held your hand the entire night, his eyes a little more wrinkled, a little more glassy. “I should’ve kissed you back then.”

It was always like that whenever you thought you were at the end of your life. Your time with Daryl was built on close goodbyes. You always managed to bounce back, always ended up surviving. 

“I can’t—I can’t do this anymore,” you had muttered to Daryl, your eyelids begging to shelter your eyes into oblivion.

“Nah,” Daryl shook his head, forbidding you to die on him as Tomi instructed you to breathe in between your pushes. He held your hand with a tighter grip, with a plea somewhere in his grasp. “Please, [Y/N]. I know ‘ya can do this.”

You could remember how gentle his kiss had been on your forehead.

You could recall the desperation in his voice, his eyes, and his touch as he begged you to have the little family you’d been planning to have together.

You thought it was your time to go when you went into labor, and he refused to let you go then. You doubt he’d ever let you. 

This time, though, the moment the bite on your shoulder made its mark on your skin, you knew you were done for. In your mind, you pictured an hourglass with its sand draining minute by minute… 

Any other day, you would have been prepared to surrender to the horde of walkers closing in on you. There was no use wiping off the bite on your shoulder, but you could use at least one more day with Daryl and the little asskicker you’d brought into the world together.

With adrenaline pumping through your veins, you powered through. The next thing you knew, you were holding Rosita’s hand on your way up, your mind only focused on seeing your Daryl and your baby girl one last time.

You were grateful you had entrusted her under Carol’s care. You would never have been able to forgive yourself had you lost her while holding her…

Glad that nobody noticed, you ransacked a closet for a thick jacket, simply stating you wanted to take extra safety measures, internally scolding yourself that you should have done so earlier. You had watched Rosita caressing Coco’s head, pressing a kiss against her baby girl’s forehead.

Your heart broke at the sight. You’d never see your daughter grow up, nor will you get to grow old with her daunting father. 

When you were reunited with Daryl, you found yourself clinging to him a little tighter than you should have, breathing in the scent of him as if you would be able to bring at least that piece of him with you to your grave.

He held you just as tight, and you let him.

“Our baby—?”

“She’s fine,” he whispered to your ear. “Ya have no idea how relieved I am that ya made it. I’ve never been so damn terrified.”

Your heart sank.

How would you ever be able to tell him? 

This was final. It wasn’t something you could just heal from or have chopped off or survive. It was real this time, and there was no escaping it.

You were just having a hard time accepting it and finding the right words to break it to him, if there were even any.

The following day after the grand win, you felt the celebration all over the town. You took it all in: the food laid out on the table that would have looked more appetizing to you had you not gotten yourself into this situation; your friends laughing together, both the ones you’ve known right from the start and the ones you’ve only recently met; and most of all, your little family.

You watched as Daryl came from the room, having just finished his turn on changing your baby’s diaper. You couldn’t help but giggle at the way he looked so natural carrying her.

You hated that the world was robbing you of seeing more variations of the scene. You thought back to the prison when Daryl first carried baby Judith. Though the two of you hadn’t given into your feelings for each other then, some part of you knew he’d be a good father.

And here he was now, entertaining your little ray of sunshine. He looked from her to you, telling her,  “Say hi to yer mama, pretty girl!”

You watched as she cooed, her eyes seemingly taking in the world around her. She probably couldn’t process anything yet, much less perceive anything, but you set that common knowledge aside.

You smiled at your baby, taking her from Daryl’s grasp and pressing her against your chest. “Hi, sunshine.”

You felt Daryl’s eyes on you, and you watched as his face shifted from contentment to contemplation. He leaned forward, pressing the back of his hand to your neck.

“Are ya alright? I can take her off your hands if yer tired. Ya don’t gotta force it if—”

“I’m okay,” you told the archer, but your pale lips and sunken eyes said so otherwise. But you were running out of time. You considered the right way to handle it. “Actually, I need to talk to you.”

“Sure, sunshine, anythin’.” 

It was sinking in. It was becoming realer and realer every time you got closer to confessing about it. “No, I—I wanna talk to you outside. Alone.”

Before Daryl could even peep a question, you called out to Rosita, the nearest companion within the vicinity you could entrust with your daughter. She picked her up with no question, happy to be able to help. 

Confused, Daryl followed you out the door. 

“Ya ain’t breakin’ up with me, aren’t ‘ya? ‘Cause that’d be stinking shitty of ‘ya,” he joked, but you could tell he was nervous. You laughed nonetheless, longing for this normalcy for longer than you had.

“No, idiot, I wish.”

Daryl laughed, too. And he pulled you into an embrace. You took the opportunity to breathe him in again as deep and as much as you could. He reeked of Daryl.

And as you remained in this embrace of his, you couldn’t help but let your defenses shatter and let your eyes let go of the heavy dam of tears it had been fighting to contain for the past several hours.

He pulled you away from his chest. “Hey, hey. S’wrong?”

Just rip off the band-aid. Just rip off the band-aid.

So you do. Reeling yourself for what was to come next, you uttered the words you’d been denying to say in fear that saying it would make it real, even though it already was: “I got bit.”

The words were rolling boulders in his hike. He didn’t know what to make of himself, of the world. Everything and nothing seemed to run through his troubled mind as he looked at you with something you couldn’t describe.

“Daryl,” you manage to say, your sorrow getting a hold of your voice. “Please say something.”

He looked away in desperate search for a solution as if he’d find it in a tree from a distance. Daryl looked back at you. “How long? We still might have time to cut it off.”

“Daryl…”

Three seconds.

You looked at each other in those three long seconds that felt like eternity, but it would never be enough. Nothing could make up for the goodbye you had yet to say to each other. No amount of previous farewells could conclude this one with justice. 

You pulled down the back of your sweater to reveal the bite mark just below your neck, right where he loved to kiss you.

“S’not that deep,” he said hopelessly. “S’probably not even enough to— to—”

“Daryl…” You watched as he had to step back, his world spinning as he thought of ways to save this, to save you. He ran his hand through his hair and down his face, then rubbing his eyes as if it would push back the tears he wanted to contain. It couldn’t.

“Nah, nah,” he said over and over, pacing in the same spot of grass he stood on, racking his mind on potential solutions. There weren’t any, both of you knew that. “Ya ain’t gonna— Yer not gonna go. It ain’t time. You—! Fucking—!”

Daryl held you again, and you let him as you felt his chest rise and fall unsteadily from the lurching grief from inside him. You felt him cover his mouth while he embraced you in his poor attempt at concealing his sobs.

“I’m sorry,” you said as you cried against his chest. It reminded you of all the times he held your hand in every single instance you thought it was your time to go. “I love you more than anything, I love you, I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I love ya too, please don’t leave us.” Daryl felt selfish asking you such an impossible favor, but he felt he had to try. It wasn’t meant to be a request for you to fulfill, but rather a plea to anyone who was listening who could, by chance and by miracle, possibly give you more time together. 

Maybe there was someone listening, hence your time kept being delayed. Now it ends here.

That day, it wasn’t just Daryl you bid farewell to. You said goodbye to all your friends one by one, embracing each and every one of them as tight as you could.

You were finally ready, you think.

As Daryl lay you in bed, giving you your little girl to cuddle for your last moments, he knew he’d never recover. He sat opposite you, watching as you rocked your sleeping daughter.

He looked away, the lump in his throat threatening to be responsible for another downpour of his cries. 

“Hey,” you said, sorrow just as present in your eyes as you reached out to put one hand on top of his. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Although you were assuring Daryl, you were also trying to assure yourself.

“Nah, it ain’t,” he said. “I’m—Shit. What makes ya think I can go on a day without you? I shoulda been there with ya, keepin’ ya safe and sound. M’sorry.”

Daryl laced his fingers with yours, pressing an apologetic kiss against the back of your hand. You used it to cup his face, feeling every inch of it. 

“It’s not your fault,” you told him. “Daryl, the past two years and way back have meant so much to me. I love you.”

He shook his head, still unable to accept what was to come. “I should’ve told ya sooner what ya meant to me. Spent too much time dilly dallying, thinkin’ there’d be more time. Maybe then we could’ve—! I never even got to give ya the wedding ya wanted. I was plannin’ for it, y’know? I’d already talked to Gabriel ‘bout stuff, asked Carol the best… I should’ve—”

“Daryl,” you cut him off. “I regret nothing. I love our story. And you’ll tell it to the little ass kicker here once she’s old enough, you understand?”

Your heart broke at the sight of your heart broken dearest. 

“Daryl, I need you to promise me.” You brought his hand to your cheek, pleading with him. “Tell our story. No covers, no fixes, nothing. I want you to tell it to her bare.”

He nodded. 

“A part of me wishes that it had been my time all those years ago, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much now.” Looking down at your baby, you couldn’t help but sigh. This was the last time. She wouldn’t even be able to remember you. “But then we wouldn’t be having this little family now and I just end up thanking every force of nature that I was lucky enough to have this even though it’s at my end.” You look up to you to see Daryl, his eyes glassy and forlorn. “I love you. I wish I told you sooner, too. I hope you felt it even before I could say it.”

“I did,” he raised your hand to his lips again and he kissed it with so much more love than you could possibly even imagine. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, don’t wanna spend the rest of my life mournin’ ya than being with ya.”

He say closer to your right, and you felt his warmth emanating from his presence. He hung his arm over your shoulder, caressing it and paying no mind to the bite that your shirt covered. Daryl looked down on you and your baby.

“She looks like ya,” he commented. “M’grateful she does. She’s gonna see her face and know how beautiful her mama is.”

You noticed he didn’t say was. Your heart ached.

“I left you two something,” you told him. “While you were asleep last night I… It’s in our closet. There’s the rolls of films from the disposable camera I planned on having developed but never did.” You laughed, remembering something. “We have pictures there together that you could maybe show to her.”

Daryl kept pressing little kisses on your hair, breathing you in every single time. “I love you,” he said as he kissed the same spot over and over.

“I don’t wanna go,” you confessed. You had no intention of breaking down in front of your husband for his sake. You didn’t want him to feel helpless, but… It was all so real, so final already that it scared you. “I thought I was ready, I’ve said goodbye to you more times than I can count and—Daryl, I want to watch her grow up with you. It’s so unfair I—I thought we'd eventually get a happy ending!”

He held you as you whimpered. Daryl was just as terrified, but he could tell you needed him to be strong. He held you again, his eyes looking down at your baby.  “S’alright, S’gonna be fine. I’m here. We’re here.”

Daryl wanted to cry, to break down. He didn’t want to do it in front of you. He could wait. 

“I don’t wanna say goodbye, either,” he said, moving away so you could see each other better. 

“So let’s not.” You looked at Daryl and your baby, thinking of all the times you’ve said goodbye to your husband way before. “We’ll say ‘Till next time.’”

The two of you shared your last laugh together, but you needed it untainted. You refused to cry now. You wanted your last memories to be happy.

“Daryl,” you started, “I can do it, okay? You don’t have to—”

“Shh, s’okay. M’here for ya. I ain’t gonna leave you on your last minute.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at him before looking back down to your still asleep baby girl. “Till next time, baby. I hope I have to wait long before I see you again.”

You press a kiss on her little forehead, willing her to live a long life for you. Feeling your eyes sinking into a deep sleep, you nodded to Daryl, who then took your baby off your hands. 

You watched as he carried her out of the door, handing her over to Carol who gave you a warm smile from the doorway. You smiled at her as well before she left to cradle your baby.

Daryl grabbed the knife from the bedside table and sat next to you. His heart broke at the sight of you. You were pale, drained, and dying.

“Can I lean on you and pretend I’m just sleeping?” you asked him. Daryl nodded m and found the right position for himself. He let you lean on his chest, his arm wrapping from under your neck. “Till next time, Daryl Dixon.”

“Till next time,” he nodded. He let you lean on his chest for so long. You let your eyelids close, its weight too heavy to keep open, letting yourself sink into the comfort of your husband. 

Daryl didn’t want to do it, but he knew he had to. He tried to keep his breaths stable so as to not wake you.

With one last kiss against your head, he plunged the sharp end of the knife against the side of your head. He kept his lips right there on your head, and he let go of the knife to fully embrace you. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, but someone eventually had to come in and tell him it was time.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Daryl Dixon mastered the skill of cradling his daughter to sleep. And when he did, he forced himself to face the monster in the closet he’d been avoiding facing.

Upon opening the closet, he found a child’s caboodle. He hurriedly opened it, desperate for a trace of you, and you were right.

You appreciated Carl’s last words to everyone, and you realized you wanted to do the same. Daryl ran his finger through the envelopes tucked inside. He knew there was a letter for him and your baby in there somewhere, but he didn’t think it was the time just yet.

He didn’t want to read it just yet for the sake of having something new to hear from you a little ways down the road. 

What Daryl did, though, was hurriedly bring the three disposable cameras to get it developed. 

Soon, he’d be delighted to see you again. The cameras were from back when he was training with Mercer. You and Judith took the free time as means to spend it together and make memories. 

Soon, Daryl would find pictures of you and the kids. He’d also find photos of you and your baby. What would really make him a little less heartbroken, though, was a picture of the three of you.

But right now, he was just grateful to feel the surface of the caboodle, knowing your hands had once carressed it as he whispered to the box, “Till next time, sunshine.”

i'm still building my blog. so for now, just send me an ask to be added to my general taglist :)

TAGLIST: @vaniniweenie @avabh12 @stinkygirl009 @whatchareadingnow @remuslittlesister @romanoffmaximoff0096 @daryldixmedown

[otherone12]

Hi, I'm obsessed with the way you write your stories and I'd like to ask for a request, it's the first time I've done one but I love your stories. I'd like to ask you for one about basement gee x reader (the plot doesn't matter) but I'd like something smut (of course one where both are of legal age) but I'd like to see gerard as someone who is geeky and is in love (somewhat sickly) with the reader

I'm sorry if it's weird, and also English is not my first language so I'm sorry if the wording of the message is bad.

I’m Awkward, Not Dangerous!

Basement!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

Hi!!! Omg, I'm glad you like my fics <3 !!! And also thanks for requesting!! I really loved the idea!! Well, I tried to make his nerdy side very visible, mainly by making him very weird in terms of social relationships and some geek references along in the story. Ngl, I had to write this one like three times, 'cause was never good enought, but I think it's nice now lol. I hope you like it! (If it turned out too different from what you imagined, let me know and I'll try to fix it :) )

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! )

Summary: It suppoused to be another day, but things turned a different when Gerard invite you to watch a movie in his basement, let's just say he REALLY likes you, and you discovered this in the creepy way possible. (I'm terrible at writing summaries)

- Word Count: 3.000

- Warnings: afab SMUT, awkward gerard.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

School sucks, our senior year was supposed to be a little funnier, right? Unfortunately, that's not what's happening, but it's infinitely better when they're with me.

Sometimes we spent entire periods outside the classroom, just chatting about anything and listening to our favorite bands, while we smoke behind the bleachers.

This was another one of those afternoons, where one less math lesson didn't make any difference, and it seemed much more interesting to hear Frank make jokes about someone's clothes. Followed by Mikey update us on the latest gigs in town, or Ray making insightful comments on every topic that comes up.

Sometimes, Gerard talks about the backstories of the heroes he created, so we spend hours thinking of outfits and some scenes that might be cool. Is really cute when he gets all excited talking about things he likes.

After a while, the conversation starts to wind down. Frank is scrolling through his phone, muttering something about needing to practice with his band. Mikey checks the time and mentions that his work shift was going to start. Ray says he has to study for some test he has tomorrow, and heads out first, leaving the rest of us behind with a lazy wave.

- Guess that’s it for me, folks. - Frank said, getting up - if I miss one more essay they'll look for another guitarist.

- I think I'll go too - Mikey stubbed out his cigarette and picked up his backpack, making his way to the video store - but I'll probably be home by 9pm… maybe later if Pete and I go drink something after the shift.

Within minutes, it’s just Gerard and I.

He’s sitting a little awkwardly, tucking strands of hair behind the ear, like he’s waiting for the right moment to say something. It’s sweet how shy he gets sometimes, especially when the others aren’t around to drown out the silence. There’s always something a little different about him when it’s just the two of us.

- So, uh…- He cleared his throat. - Do you... wanna come over? I was gonna watch that new horror movie I told you about. The really bad one with the cheesy practical effects…

His voice was low, and he blinked with his beautiful hazel eyes, pleading. After a few seconds, he gave a shy, hopeful smile.

- I mean, only if you’re not busy or anything…

- Nope, I’m totally free. - I smiled at him, excited to watch the movie with him.

The walk to Gerard’s house is filled with easy conversation. He talks about the movie, rambling about the director’s other films, his company was really nice, actually. Every now and then, my shoulder brushes his, and I swear I catch him glancing at me from the corner of his eye. Wasn’t something bothering, but it’s kinda… weird?

When we finally reach Gerard’s place, he fumbled with his keys at the front door, a little too eager.

- My parents aren’t home… - He said, being a bit surprised - Well, I'm gonna fix the things in my room in the basement… Can you wait a minute?

he scratched the back of his neck, apparently nervous, so I let out a smile in an attempt to comfort him. I understand that since we hadn't arranged it beforehand, he didn't have time to prepare or anything.

- Sure!

- I’ll be right back - Gerard rushed to his basement, and I stayed in the living room of Way’s house.

Looking around, I saw family pictures, some paints on the wall, books, a pretty carpet… It was a pretty house. Wasn’t long before Gerard returned from the basement, nodding and beckoning me to follow.

Wasn’t the first time I went to his basement, but I was never alone with him.

It’s cluttered but cozy, just like the other times: comics spread out on his bed, action figures on shelves, and posters of old movies plastered along the walls. His bed was covered with a batman sheet, and he gestures toward it with an awkward smile.

- Make yourself comfortable. - Again, he rushed away, going to the kitchen - I’ll grab drinks.

I sat down, noticing the little details scattered everywhere. He even has a stack of DVDs, just waiting to be watched. It’s easy to see how much of himself Gerard has poured into this space, and somehow, that makes it feel intimate.

He came back with two cans of soda, handing me one as he flops onto the bed beside me. His knee bumped into mine, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he pressed play on the remote, the movie starting with a dramatic, over-the-top horror intro.

As the lights dim and the movie flickers to life, I notice Gerard sneaking a glance my way. It’s quick, like he’s checking to see if I’m still there or if I’ve evaporated into thin air. He shifted in his seat, awkwardly pulling his hoodie sleeves over his hands.

I tried to focus on the screen, I really do, but out of nowhere, his hand brushes against mine. It was kind of an accidental touch, my heart raced, but I didn’t move it.

After some seconds of just the sound of the movie filling the room, Gerard cleaned his throat and took a deep breath, like he was trying to take courage to say something.

- Y’know… - I turned my attention to him - I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.

I Glance at him, and he’s looking at the TV like he’s afraid it might explode if he makes eye contact with me.

- Do what? - I asked, trying not to sound as jittery as I feel.

- Uh... spend time with just you. - He scratched the back of his neck, and his gaze moved from the tv to me.

I didn’t know what to say, so I defaulted to my nervous habit, fiddling with my bracelet, twisting it around my wrist like it holds the answer to every awkward situation. Gerard noticed, of course, because apparently, he has a PhD in Me Studies.

- You don’t have to be nervous, sugar.

“Sugar”? He never called me that way before. But he kept talking, like it wasn’t a big deal. I did not protest, I actually kinda liked it.

- You always mess with that bracelet when you’re nervous. - He said like it was something obvious - It’s... kinda cute.

I shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, only to realize: Gerard isn’t watching the movie. He’s watching me. And he’s terrible at being subtle about it.

Before I can process what’s happening, he slips his hand into mine, like a middle-schooler figuring out how to hold hands for the first time. His palm is warm, a little sweaty, okay, a lot of sweat, but weirdly... I didn’t mind.

It wasn't as if I didn't like him, maybe I really liked him too, I'd just never thought about it before. Back to the movie, my mind was filled with a million other things to think about, so I couldn't even focus on looking at the screen. My gaze traveled around the room, but something caught my eye: a small, familiar notebook lying half-tucked beneath a pile of DVDs on the coffee table really close to his bed.

The same notebook Gerard always carries with him at school, the one he’s always scribbling in during lunch or between classes. I couldn’t help myself to take advantage of Gerard's distraction, and I flipped it open. 

My eyes went wide and my heart skipped a beat when I saw what was inside that notebook. Pages and pages of photos of me. Some printed, others cut out from old Polaroids. All of them are candid shots, taken without my knowledge. There’s one of me smoking behind the bleachers, another of me laughing with Mikey, and several from school, walking to class, sitting at my desk, leaning against my locker.

Each one is accompanied by small, scribbled notes in Gerard’s messy handwriting. Things like “She looks so pretty here.” or “I wish this was just the two of us.” … Along with sketches of portraits, pieces of comics that meant something in our “relationship”. There were sketches of us together, drawn in different comic styles, one of us as Jedi, another as superheroes, and even one as cartoon vampires, all accompanied by little speech bubbles with inside jokes.

Every page flipped, I got even more shocked about the large amount of content he has there. Things from years ago, and the last things were from the last days.

- Hey... What are you looking at? - His voice is soft, but there’s an edge to it now, a note of panic creeping in.

I glance up to see Gerard frozen in place, his hazel eyes wide with fear as he notices the notebook in your hands.

- W-where did you…? - He mumbled, turning bright red, embarrassed - Uh... I can explain! Wait, no, I mean- don't freak out... It’s... okay, it looks bad, but it’s not that bad.

He let go from my hand and got up, rubbing his hands together nervously. he began to pant, and his countenance indicated that he was desperately looking for an excuse.

- Well, it is exactly what it looks like! - I yell, turning back to the notebook, still shocked, analyzing every page.

He turned around, rubbing one of his hands over his face in a messy motion. Before long, he began to walk around the room in circles, while his shaky voice continued to speak.

- Oh God, I’m gonna die. Yep. This is how I die. - he murmured to himself, before facing me again - Just bury me under these comics.

Before i could say anything, he blurts:

- Okay, look… it’s not like I’m a total creep, okay? I-I just... thought you looked cool... like, really cool, and, um - The words rushed out of his mouth, as if he had stopped thinking and was just throwing anything to ease the situation -… okay, I might have taken some pictures without asking… b-but it’s not like ‘weird’ weird! It’s... more... uh... admiration?

I couldn't hide my look of confusion. At the same time as I wanted to get out of there, I didn't want to. It was obviously strange, but at the same time it was adorable the way he noticed me. The things he wrote in that notebook said so much more than I could have imagined he felt. Not giving me time to think about what to say, he kept going.

- I thought, y'know, maybe if I... cataloged- no, wait, bad word… uh, recorded...? - He groans - I swear I sound less creepy in my head.

- Look, I was gonna tell you... - He insists, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. - I mean, not like this, obviously. 

He catched my confused expression and groans again.

-Ugh, you probably think I’m a total loser now.

The more he spoke, the less frightening the situation became and the cuter he seemed to me. So I stood up, in a failed attempt to calm him down, but the result was the complete opposite.

- Wait! Please don’t go. I-I know this is... a lot. But I promise I’m not some psycho. - He pauses, then adds, - Like, I’m awkward, not dangerous! 

I don't know where that feeling came from. Maybe it's always been there. I wanted to hug him, kiss him and tell him that it was fine, that I knew he wasn’t a psycho. 

 - Okay, okay! I know I’m weird, but... don’t leave me hanging here. Please. I really... like you. - the statement caught me off guard. it's not as if it wasn't obvious, but I wasn't prepared.  -  Like, more than I ever thought possible.

The way he looks at me, a perfect mix of nervous wreck and hopeful puppy is strangely endearing. Something about his awkward honesty makes it impossible to walk away. So I finally react, letting a grin escape from the corner of my lip. 

- You’re such a dork, Gee. - I chuckled, and his eyes opened wide.

- W-wait, does that mean…? - A confused happiness made Gerard freeze and look directly at me. 

-Yeah. - I approached him, smiling and rolling my eyes - I think I like you too, you idiot.

-Oh my God… - his hazel eyes glowed and a huge smile formed in his pink lips - this is like one of those rom-coms where the nerd actually wins?!

I shook my head, laughing at his words. He’s still red-faced and fumbling, but it’s clear now: he’s just a lovable, geeky mess who adores me in his own awkward way.

- No pressure or anything, but, uh... If we were in a romance movie, this would be the part where the two leads kiss.

I chuckled and my lips reached his. The warm sensation filled my body, the kiss was sloppy and desperate, felt like something he was holding for too long, something he couldn’t deal with anymore. His hands held my waist, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He let out a soft moan and pulled back only to whisper:

- This feels like... you know... that scene in Return of the Jedi when-

- Gerard, - I interrupted, laughing. - Less Star Wars and more kissing, please.

- Right, yeah, sorry. - He turned bright red.

Gerard catched my lips again, deeper this time, with a bit more confidence. His hand slid to my waist, thumb brushing lazy circles against my skin, and his tongue explored my mouth, while he laid me down on his bed. His lips trailing down to my neck, scattering kisses that made my whole body buzz.

-You smell amazing. Like... that forest level in that one game. You know, the one where…

He trailed off, realizing how silly it sounded, but the look on his face was too earnest to be embarrassed.

- You are such a dork. - I laughed again, running my fingers through his messy hair. 

- Yeah, but I’m your dork, - he murmured, nuzzling into the crook of my neck, planting soft kisses along my collarbone.

His touch was gentle but hungry, as if each kiss, each brush of his fingers, was an apology for all the moments he’d spent longing for this. 

When he slid his hands under my shirt, he paused, looking at me with wide, nervous eyes. 

- Is this... okay? - he asked, shyly. The insecurity in his tone of voice was adorable, no more so than the sparkle in his eyes as he saw me give him a nod, lifting my arms so he could pull the shirt over my head. His gaze lingered on me, admiration glowing in his eyes. - Wow... You’re so -

- Gerard.-  I touched his face, guiding him back down for another kiss. - You’re doing fine.

He smiled, clearly relieved, and kissed me again, this time more eagerly. His hands, still trembling slightly, found their way to the button of my jeans. He fumbled for a moment, biting his lip in concentration. 

Once my jeans were off, he took a moment to just look at me, his hands resting on my hips as if grounding himself. 

- I don’t want to mess this up -  he whispered. 

- You’re not messing anything up, Gee..- i calmed him, brushing a thumb over his flushed cheek - Just... keep going

That was all the encouragement he needed. He kissed me again, his hands moving with a little more certainty now, sliding beneath my bra to touch bare skin. I gasped, arching into his touch, and he let out a shaky breath, somewhere between a moan and a laugh.

When he finally got out of his clothes, struggling with his belt in the process,

 -  Stupid thing… -  he muttered  flustered and I couldn't stop smiling. 

He was trying so hard, and there was something endearing about how eager yet unsure he was.

He kissed me again, slower this time, savoring the moment as his hands trailed down to my thighs, spreading them gently. His boxers were the last to go, and when I felt him against me, the heat between us became impossible to ignore.

- I’ve dreamed about this, - Gerard admitted breathlessly, kissing the side of my neck. - About you... For so long.

I felt my body react to him instinctively, desire building with every brush of his skin against mine. When he paused, hovering just at the edge, his eyes searched mine one last time.

- Is this okay? -  he whispered, his voice low and full of both need and vulnerability.

- Yes,-  I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. - I want this, Gee.

And then, with a slow, careful thrust, his cock was inside me. I gasped, gripping his hair as my body adjusted to the sensation. The burn was sweet and overwhelming.

He started moving, hesitant at first, like he was still learning how to sync with me. But every time I moaned his name, he seemed to gain a little more confidence, his rhythm becoming more certain, more desperate.

The heat between us grew, the room filled with soft gasps and whispered encouragement. His hands roamed my body, one settling on my waist, the other cradling my face as if I were something precious. As deeper he was coming I felt the tension coil in my stomach, tighter and tighter, until I was teetering right on the edge. 

- I’m close…

- Do it, sugar, - he panted, his voice thick with need. - Cum for me.

With a final thrust, the pleasure crashed over me like a wave. I clenched around him, clinging to him, nails digging into his back as I moaned his name, lost in the intensity of it.

Gerard groaned, his movements faltering as he reached his own release. The warmth of the ropes of his cum filling me up pushed me deeper into my own bliss, and we stayed like that, tangled together, catching our breath.

He pressed a lazy kiss to my shoulder, his body still trembling slightly. 

- Wow… -  he whispered, sounding both dazed and amazed. - That was... better than any dream I’ve ever had.

I laughed softly, brushing damp hair from his forehead. 

- Yeah. Way better.

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~ sooo, that's it! Let me know if you liked! :)

[weneeya]

HIIII!! I love your writings!!! I really like how you manage the characters and how you make the scenes<3

May I request some Headcanon/scenario of Kageyama being in love for a female s/o?

bad at feelings w/ kageyama m.list | rules

note. hiiii omg thank u sm I'm so happy to read this <3 kageyama is my baby, like all the first years ; ofc I can write smth with him!! requests are still open :)

Kageyama Tobio wasn’t really well known for his ability to speak about how he felt. Actually, it was the exact opposite. The boy was so bad with his feelings and his thoughts, because he didn’t know how to express himself correctly. Watch him play with his team and you would quickly understand that talking was his weak point. 

He never really cared, until you arrived. You were friends with Yachi, one of her classmates who arrived in the middle of the school year. This is why you started to spend a lot of time with the volleyball team, soon becoming friends with all of them. You were a real ray of light, always smiley and happy, like nothing could hurt you. 

You were quickly adopted by the team, as Nishinoya and Tanaka made everyone understood around the school. They were giving dark looks to any boy who could want to speak with you, scaring them by clearly threatening them. It was a bit funny, you had to admit. 

Tobio knew he liked you, but he didn’t know how he really felt at the same time. He never experienced love before, because volleyball was the only thing he cared about since he was born. He knew it wasn’t the same affection as the rest of the team, but love? He wasn’t sure about it. This is why he decided to come to talk with Daichi and Suga. 

They were going out after their class, and Tobio was waiting for them outside, standing up all straight in front of the door. The two seniors almost jumped because of the surprise, not expecting Kageyama to be here. 

“Is everything okay? Do you have another problem with Hinata? I told you to-” Daichi couldn’t finish his sentence because Tobio quickly bent in front of him, his voice coming out louder than expected. 

“Sawamura-san, Sugawara-san! I need your help!” The captain and the setter looked at each other before looking back at their cadet. Suga told him to straight back up, an embarrassed smile on his lips. 

“Come here, let’s talk somewhere else,” he said, and the three boys got outside the building in a minute. Kageyama quickly started to speak about his said problem. He sighed slightly before looking at his two senpai. 

It took a long time, way too long in fact. Kageyama was searching for his words, saying the same things again and again, apparently lost with himself. His mind was racing, and his heart as well. Daichi could swear that he almost saw a blush over Kageyama’s cheeks for a second. Arms crossed, the captain looked at his setter who couldn’t help but to laugh at the poor boy’s behavior. 

“Slow down Kageyama, breathe,” started Daichi and the younger boy stopped talking, looking at Suga with a slight frown on his face. Why was he laughing at him? Tobio was clearly not understanding. 

“Our boy is in love,” finally added the third year, and Kageyama’s mind went wild. He looked at them with wide eyes, processing what he just heard. Daichi tried to tell Suga to go easy on him, but the setter kept going. 

“Feelings, romantic ones ; this is what you’re experiencing right now.” Silence. Tobio couldn’t believe it. So it was really love in the end? He never thought he would go through that one day, or at least clearly not right now. 

After thanking his seniors, Tobio left them to go walk alone. He needed milk, nothing would help him more than milk right now. He was in front of the vending machine when he heard a voice next to him. It was you, obviously. He could recognize your voice in the middle of a shouting crowd. 

This is how you ended up walking home together, as there was no training after school today. You had this soft smile on your lips as you were talking about a few different things. Kageyama wasn’t listening, he was too busy staring at you to focus on your words. You finally looked at him, taking him out of his thoughts. 

“Are you listening? You know, you can tell me if I’m annoying…” you said, and a small pout appeared on your lips. Tobio felt his cheeks burning suddenly, and he quickly looked away, his grip tightening a little around his milk. How could you be so adorable? It was too difficult to handle. 

You wanted to add something, but Kageyama suddenly stopped and you did the same, turning to him. “What?” You asked, and the boy took a deep breath. He frowned slightly while looking at you, and for a moment you thought he was going to be angry at you. 

“You… You’re pretty…” He finally said after a few moments of silence, and you couldn’t restrain your surprise. You slowly processed his words, and you felt your ears becoming warmer. You tried to find your words before being able to articulate a small “Thank you” to him. 

Love really was a strange feeling, but Kageyama Tobio was ready to learn about it and how to handle his feelings if it meant staying by your side.

maybe I'll do a second part if you guys like it, I didn't want to make it too long hihi

[the-s1lly-corner]

Slashers Masterlist

An important note before you continue; I have not seen all of the big slasher franchises or reboots or what have you. Below are the only characters I am confident enough to write, and will be expanded as I explore more series! Thank you for understanding

Added note, as of March 4th 2024 I have yet to see the Chucky tv series <\3 As of October 27th 2024 this list is complete! Check in on volume 2 for more!

If any links are incorrect please let me know!

Jason Voorhees:

Fluff hcs for Jason

Jason x Sweet!nature loving!reader

Jason x immortal!reader

Jason x winged!reader

Hand holding with Jason

Jason x anxious reader

R J I with Jason

Jason as a dad

Jason x artist!reader

Random thing 11/kissing Jasons hands

Jason x pregnant!AFAB!reader

Jason x autistic!reader

Tropes 7 8 9 with Jason

Random thing 12//childhood friends with Jason

Prompts 13 and 14 with jason

Prompts 10 11 12 with Jason

Prompts 1 2 3 with Jason

Prompts 4 5 6 with Jason

Prompts 16-20 with jason

Prompts 22 25 27 28 with jason

Prompts 31-36 with Jason

38 40 43 44 with Jason

Reader fixing Jason's jacket

Jason x sunshine gardener reader

Celebrating mothers day

Jason losing the reader

Jason x undead reader

Jason x reader who wears a mask

Jason x reader w/ plushies

Jason x reader who doesnt talk

Jason x reader who likes horror movies

Jason x reader who is scared of storms

jason x reader who wears headphones

Jason x reader who has a bad relationship with their mom

X Jessica rabbit reader

Random thing #13/Jason and water

picnic date

x reader who is not from america leaving the country to visit family

getting piggy back rides

camping outside

warmth wrapped up give out (fall prompts)

x reader who is shunned by her family

celebrating halloween

x reader who is posing as a camp counselor

flufftober day 4 (rainy day)

b u k (fluff alphabet)

s p <3 (fluff alphabet)

Brahms Heelshire:

Brahms x artist!reader

Prompts 13 14 20 22 with brahms

Prompts 1 2 8 10 with brahms

Prompts 27 35 36 38 with brahms

N and Y with Brahms

Reader trying to get Brahms tovgp outside

Reader forcing Brahms to move out w/ them

Pregnant brahms x reader

Brahms and reader watching horror movies together\

jealousy hcs

x sick!reader

c k ♥ (fluff alphabet)

f x h (fluff alphabet)

p g d (fluff alphabet)

injured!brahms x reader

x reader who is obsessed with him

Flufftober day 6 playing with his hair

x reader w/ small dog syndrome

Michael (og/2018-2020s reboot):

saving the reader from being attacked

Chucky:

Tiffany Valentine:

x fem reader

BUBBA SAWYER:

C H I (fluff) with Bubba

first date

x pregnant!reader

v u j (fluff alphabet)

THOMAS HEWITT:

brushing his hair

i m v (fluff alphabet)

f n c (fluff alphabet)

MULTI:

Jason, Brahms, Michael, and Chucky x chaotic!reader

Aftercare w/ Jason and Brahms

Michael, jason, and brahms x reader on their period

Charles lee ray and brahms but theyve been turned into cats

cuddling w/ jason brahms and Michael

petnames w/ jason and brahms

jason and brahms x girly girl reader

calling various slashers pretty boy

squeezing various slashers cheeks

leaving lipstick marks on various slashers

drawing each other

x clumsy reader who gets hurt often

first kiss w/ brahms bubba and thomas

bubba thomas and micheal x chubby!fem!reader who is insecure

kissing their scars (jason, brahms, thomas, michael)

michael jason and brahms x reader who is mean to everyone but them

jason and thomas x fem autistic reader

jason and thomas saving the reader from being attacked

jason and thomas x reader who cries a lot

getting carried by jason and Michael after an injury

jason thomas and brahms getting picked up by the reader

jason brahms thomas x baker reader

resting your head on jason thomas brahms' chest

calling bubba jason and michael cute

asking jason brahms and michael to pose nude for your painting (sfw)

slapping jason thomas and bubbas ass with the sticky hand thing

[vampire-bat-writes]

Nsfw Alphabet

Tokoyami Fumikage (aged up)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A- aftercare (what their like after sex)

Tokoyami is sweet and gentle with you afterwards. He helps clean you up or helps you shower. He loves to cuddle afterwards

B- favorite body part

Thighs. Tokoyami is a thigh guy. Crush his pretty little skull between your thighs, instant bust

C- Cum (where does he like to cum?)

Probably either tits or thighs. (Sometimes inside)

D- dirty secret

Probably steals your clothes and nuts in them or humps them thinking abt you.

E- experience

This man is a slave to his own dick but he was a virgin before he met you. It was a little awkward when he did it for the first time but eventually got used to it.

F- favorite position

Spooning or cowgirl. What can I say, Tokoyami is pretty lazy honestly.

G- goofy (how serious are they?)

He's a little silly sometimes but most of the time pretty serious

H-hair

He's a little bushy but not to bad. Black colored

I- intimacy

Extremely romantic. He likes slow and approachable pleasure

J- jerk off

Jerk off maniac. One of the horniest people you'll ever meet and it gets 100x worse in spring

K- kinks

He has quite a few

Mutual masturbation, pain, choking, hair pulling,edging, role play (sometimes), slight bdsm, and corruption

L- location (fav place to do it)

Bed or shower.

M- motivation (what turns them on)

Teasing is the biggest reason. But also simple things like dirty talk or you just even changing

N- no (turnoffs)

Anal. (i did this for myself)

O- oral

Loves seeing you choke on his cock.

P- pace

He's mostly slow and sensual but he does change pace when he's about to finish

Q- quickies

Hates them but is willing to do them for you

R- risk

Doesn't really like risk because he has a routine. Refuses to do it in public because he's afraid of being seen

S- stamina (how long they can go)

Maybe 2 rounds, 3 is pushing the limits

T- toys

He really likes toys and often uses them on himself

U- unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can switch from time to time. he likes to be teased and he likes to tease you.

V- volume (how loud they are)

Decently loud, groans and soft whimpers.

W- wild card (random headcanon)

Probably makes bird noises when overstimulated

X- x-ray

Slight curve, 5.2 inches hard, kinda bushy but not too bad, tip #FF9F99, shaft (hate that word) #EAAD9A, cum #F4E9E3

Y- yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Honestly it kind of depends on season. Not as horny in winter but INSANE in spring

Z- Zzz (how fast they fall asleep afterwards)

Probably like a few minutes. He gets tired easily

(AHH THANKS FOR READING MY FIRST FIC)

[bruisedboys]

KNIVES OUT - sender  comes  to  receiver  after  being  injured .

with rugby!james!!! please. maybe patching him after a game idk up to u bae <3

aerial aerial I love u sm for this u don’t understand. rugby james <3333

summary: james hurts his wrist and thinks you worry too much

fem!reader 0.7k words

James is just coming back from his X-ray when he spots you sitting in the waiting room, next to Remus. You look frazzled, your knee bouncing like it always does when you’re worried about something, your nails lodged between your teeth. He knows they’ll be bitten down to stubs by the end of the night.

He thanks the nurse who’s ushering him and then makes a beeline for you. Remus sees him first, nudges you and points. You look up just as he’s about to say your name.

“James,” you say, and stand up so fast James is worried you’ve gotten a headrush. You meet him halfway, looking like you want to touch him but you stop when you see his wrist in its sling.

“James,” you say again. Now that he’s gotten a better look at you he thinks you’ve been crying. Your eyes aren’t red but your eyelashes are all shiny and wet. “Baby. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” James says. “Really, it’s—“

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” you interrupt, your bottom lip going a bit wobbly. “I feel so bad, Jamie, I—“

“Angel.” James touches your face with his good hand, wraps his fingers around your jaw and presses his palm to your cheek to get you to stop talking. “It’s okay. Don’t be sorry, you couldn’t have known this was gonna happen tonight.”

You bite your lip. Your eyes are starting to water over. “I know, but. I should’ve been at your game.”

James tuts at you. “Y/N, darling.” He drags his thumb under your eye where a tear is collecting, then swaps over to the other side to wipe away those tears.

“Stop apologising. It’s okay.” He gives you a grin that he hopes will help you to stop looking so sad. It’s breaking his heart, the look on your face. “And you know, I’m glad you weren’t there. I think maybe you’d break up with me if you ever saw me eat shit that badly.”

You giggle wetly. It’s kind of adorable. James kisses your cheek and then you’re leading him to sit down in between you and Remus. Sirius is nowhere to be seen, probably at the vending machine somewhere.

“What’s the verdict?” Remus asks him, who James knows is not as worried about his wrist as you are, but pretty close. He’d almost broken the speed limit on the way here.

James looks at you. He doesn’t want to lie to you, but he also doesn’t want to worry you more than you already are. He tries to soften the blow.

“Uh. It’s— they think it’s just a fracture,” he says, mostly to you. He hopes by putting ‘just’ in front of it he’ll make it sound not as bad as it is. It doesn’t work.

“A fracture?” You say, whirling on him, worried all over again. “So, what, it’s broken?”

James looks at Remus for help. Remus gives him a look like don’t look at me.

“Kind of?” James says, wincing. The real answer is yes, it is broken. But he’s not about to say that to you. You make a face at his answer (or lack of) so he reassures quickly, “Really, honey. It’s just a small fracture, baby. It’ll heal in no time.”

You don’t look convinced. You sigh and grab James’ good hand, pushing your fingers in between his.

“James,” you sigh again.

All the sighing makes James sigh, too. He knew this would be how you’d react. Knew you’d probably cry over him, no matter how much he wishes you wouldn’t. If he’s being honest, he’d react the same, probably worse.

“I’m okay,” he reassures you again. He’s gonna say it a million times if he has to. And really, he is okay. He’d be much worse if he didn’t have a lovely, kind girlfriend worrying over him. He squeezes your hand and hopes you feel how grateful he is for you. “They’re gonna fix me up and then we’re gonna go home and cuddle. Okay?”

You look up at him. Looking half sad and half hopeful. “How am I ever gonna cuddle you properly with a cast in the way?”

James laughs, so loud the people sitting in front of him turn around, but he hardly cares. He lifts your hand to his lips and kiss kiss kisses along your wrist.

“We’ll figure it out, angel.”

-

[learnastrowallura]

The Sun in astrology

I will resume here my findings mostly from Chris Brennan's video featuring Demetra George

The Sun: Deity, God, illumination, sight, flames, light, rays, life force, spark, life generator, justice, All seeing, divination, leadership, authority, kingship, nobility, reputation, status, publicity, identity, potential, purpose, centrality, public affairs, ideas, mind, visualization, creation, gold, fortune, wealth, privilege, spirit, honor, respect, virtous action, justice, Father figure(day) the heart, the right eye, eyesight, lifespan, vision, intentionality, creativity, masculine, hot and dry, the core, visible/inner planet

Sun in the natal chart:

The sign and house that our Sun is in can show us how and where (respectively) we tend to shine the most, where our potential lies; it represents our lifeforce, motivation as well as vitality.

Personal example: Sun in Sagittarius in 1st house (Placidus) or 2nd house (whole sign) and the idea of freedom is what helps me get out of bed every single day tbh and just doing my own thing and being comfortable so both houses resonate with me although I do resonate more with the second house since tbh I cannot fully relax and be free if I'm broke lmao but yeah you get the point

My sun trines my Saturn and I kind of see that as my love of learning and discovering new things (Sag) helping that kind of frustration going on with my Saturn being in that 9th house because I am actively fighting back and working hard I would say and I would credit that toward my passion and curiosity

My sun also squares my MC and my Uranus and I will probs only talk about my MC here so like I'm gonna be honest I have a mutable sun you know so at the end of the day I really am wishy washy not super disciplined so it does make sense that that is an area of challenge for me but yeah

I should also mention that my Sun is at 1° degree which is an Aries degree and that (along with my Aries moon as well) helps me be proactive, initiative and passionate so yeah

Dignity and debility:

Domicile: Leo (being special/standing out)

Detriment/Antithesis: Aquarius (egalitarian perspective, being within a group)

Exaltation: Aries (independance, instinct)

Fall/Depression: Libra (partnership, hesitation)

Planetary joy:

The sun has its joy in the 9th house. In other words it is most comfortable and productive/powerful being there because 9th house central/obvious themes are higher learning, spirituality and the Sun is all about clarity, self discovery and potential as well so I think it is an awesome placement to have and I will make a post about the planetary joys so I can speak of this in more detail but yeah

Sect:

If the Sun is above the horizon, the individual's chart would be a day chart which mean that the native will have Jupiter as a benefic and Mars as a malefic

If it is below the horizon, we would be dealing with a night chart and Venus would be the benefic with Saturn being the malefic planet

Gender:

The Sun is masculine so it would feel more comfortable being in masculine signs (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius/fire and air signs) in general expressing itself in its masculine energy (active, fast acting, welcoming change). In the case of the Sun I'd look at the Quadrant as well (I have made a post about the Gender of Planets as well)

Father figure:

Aspects between the Sun and other planets especially inner planets, as well as the house it is in (angular, succedent or cadent) can tell us a lot about one's relationship with the father/father figure(s), father's situation etc (aspects with outer planets are important too with the Sun but especially if they (Neptune, Uranus, Pluto) are in an angular house (their effect would be more notable in this case)

I will add more information as I go but I wanted to post it rn so there u go lol and make sure to check this post again in a day or two for its full version x

Thank you for reading <3

Masterlist

Paid readings available

[hoeforhao]

Rusted Away 🍂|| Kwon Soonyoung ||

🍁pairing : ex!soonyoung × fem!reader

🍁genre : exes to lovers, bakery shop au sort of, mostly angst, fluff towards the end, mild smut, mutual pining, slow build up.

🍁warnings : none for this part. will be added in the later ones!

🍁summary : you and soonyoung broke up almost two years ago because according to him sharing a common interest point with each other, to talk about at the end of the day was a necessity. How will things turn out for the spiriting away lovers now that their friend group has assigned them both the common job of baking muffins for the fall party!

🍁part : 1/3 [for fall-ing for u collab ]

🍁word count : 0.8k

🍁author's note : this is my first ever collab and am so excited!!! also i'm posting a full blown fic after a long break for writer's block and i don't know how this has turned out. please let me know your views ♡ last but not the least thanks to @playmetheclassics for beta-reading this for me! ily <3

"Y'all can't be serious right now" you sounded quite disgruntled with your two minions on other side of the conference call, plotting against your sanity, for universe knows how long!

"Well I mean you two quite literally run the two most loved bakeries of our neighborhood. It shouldn't come as a surprise that we will team you up." Steph's plain and unbothered voice echoes right into your ears, specially the 'team up part'.

"Yeah it shouldn't have been surprising or disappointing if it was someone else Steph. But it's with him. With Soonyoung. The Kwon Soonyoung. Out of all the people out there, you two would at least know best about what he did" your voice started shaking with each word it got closer to mentioning his name ; again ; after 2 whole years.

You still were in disbelief that your two most close ones did this to you. After being with you all those nights you cried till you couldn't breathe anymore, holding your trembling body whenever you had the worst breakdowns to seeing you slowly heal from the scabs and stabs left by him, Steph and Niall were with you the whole time. Them now setting you up with him again, for a silly little fall party felt nothing but seriously insensitive to you.

Pressing down on the side button of the phone, you were now sitting on the bed, all covered up in your comfort blankie with a blacked out screen laying on your lap ; the glass of which reflected the browns and caramels of the backdrop outside the misty windows, onto your own ones.

Fall was finally around the corner, which meant that the roads will now be iced all rusty, drizzled with honey leaves and sprinkled on by dark wine twigs. Fall also meant one more thing...the one very thing that was like the warm covering on your wounds, that meant the most to you above anyone and everyone. Your sycamore tree!

Pushing away the fluffy blanket on your legs, you quickly pulled down your pyajams to get dressed into something more appropriate for the weather outside, something more comfy and something that made you feel like you're back home once again a.k.a soonyoung's brown hoodie. While havocing through your entire wardrobe to take out all his belongings and leave back not a single essence of him around you and on you, the idiot missed out on that one brown hoodie he owned...rather the one he loved the most and the one he gave to you on your first date - under the sycamore tree.

You knew that the only thing, the only friend that could soothe the burns on you right now was that tree, the one true buddy that has stood by your side through the pains even your best friends couldn't heal, the big brother that shadowed you whenever the world's bright rays tried to scorch on your skin. So without wasting any more seconds, you hurriedly ran down the stairs leading to the hall. Upon reaching the main door of your small apartment you twist on the knob to pull open the door, and quite instantly a gust of cinnamon flavored wind engulfs all your senses.

Fall was truly your soul season. No matter how much turmoil your life was going through, or how much clogged your brain was to come up with new ideas, a walk down the leaf stained path of your favorite garden while the season's cool breeze flowed through your hair, definitely helped the caged Robin in you fly free finally.

Since the day Soonyoung broke your heart and left you all alone amidst the rusted haze, you've been visiting this sycamore tree every fall, to reminisce all the warm happy moment spent under its shade. To feel the same happiness as the day you planted the tree with your best friend, when you both were only 8 year olds, with the person who held you like the softest cotton bud dispersing away in the breeze all these years only to tear you off the stem at one go now.

You were consumed in your thoughts about how crazy love was, about how the twigs that have seen two people be in love for so long, hang around it for years, the branches that have been painted with countless giggles and soft kisses, now had its leaves shedding themselves from the agony of seeing its spiriting away child standing beneath it to shelter herself from the bleeding marks left by its other child.

Just as you were about to sit down on the dewy grass covering the entire ground below, your phone notification sound blew up suddenly. Drawing the device out from your tote, your eyes fell onto the lit up screen to see the name you've been running away from all this time.

[purinjoong]

Hay I don't mean to bother. I really enjoy your writing and think you are amazing. I was wondering that if you are open to suggestions, if you could perhaps write something about Wooyoung in a pool. You really don't have to if you don't want to. Much love, Elsa <3

put you(r love) on a pedestal (j.wy)

summary: nothing could make a private pool date with wooyoung any better, you thought, but wooyoung prides himself on the creative method he came up with to prove you wrong <3

jung wooyoung x reader :: established relationship, smut, fluff, cocky!wooyo, cliche sunscreen scene, fem bodied reader (gender not specified)

warnings below the cut!

praise, teasing, dirty talk, marking, fingering, degradation, a sprinkle of dacryphilia, unprotected sex (!!!), oral sex (reader receiving), pool sex ...., manhandling, pet names (baby, sweetheart, love, woo, wooyo, brat) :: approx 3.6k words

notes: thank u so much for requesting !!!! i missed wooyo so much during his mini hiatus so i was very happy to see a req for him (even though i saw it so late im so sorry...) i hope you enjoy it <33

do not let woo's leanness fool you btw ... he is soo strong did you see him do all those pushups and that finger work out thing in what i think was the universe pirate reboot ..

"Woo, come on," you urge with a pinch to the exposed skin of his waist. He's clad only in his swimming trunks, back tattoo on full display as he works diligently on plating some sort of snack at the kitchen counter of the vacation home the two of you hid yourself away at for the weekend.

"Coming, baby," he says with a chuckle, eyes never leaving the plate. His loss, really— your swim clothes suit your physique so nicely, but it's hard to find fault with him when his tongue is endearingly peeking out the side of his lips in concentration, fingers deftly moving pieces of food around on the plate until he's satisfied (which he announces with a pleased, catlike smile).

You're already sitting at the edge of the pool when he looks up and out of the glass doors, your legs swishing around in the water as one of your hands shields you from the overbearing rays of the sun. He walks out to join you, setting the plate down on the little table between the two lounge chairs. You're met with a different kind of brightness when he smiles at you as he sits down next to you, one that you want to drink in until you're ready to burst.

"Have you put on sunscreen yet?" he asks with a playful nudge to your shoulder.

"Too lazy," you whine, squinting under the sunlight.

"Baby," he chastises, getting up to grab the bottle he set down by the snack plate he prepared.

"I'll be fine, Woo,"

"Not taking any chances," he rebukes with a childish shake of his head, settling into a squat behind you to rub the cold lotion into your skin. His practiced hands knead the thick liquid in until the feeling isn't uncomfortable, taking extra care to massage your tense muscles as he rubs the sunscreen in.

You can't help the soft moans that slip past your lips at his ministrations, biting at the plush skin bashfully at the wanton noises he draws out of you.

His breath tickles the sensitive junction between your neck and your shoulder, and he presses gentle kisses to the skin intermittently as he lathers you with sunscreen.

"Feels good, huh baby?" he says from behind you, and you don't need to turn around to know he's got that cocky grin on his face that tends to arouse you more than it annoys you.

You have to shake your head to free yourself of the daze that's settled over your thoughts from his ministrations to meekly admit that it does, in fact, feel good— no point in lying now, or Wooyoung will tease you much more than you can already tell he's currently planning to.

He hums, satisfied, and withdraws his healing hands from your skin. You barely manage to suppress the pathetic whine bubbling in your throat at the loss, blinking innocently at Wooyoung as he studies your reaction.

He grins at you like he can read your mind, as if you're a pretty puppet he's playing by the strings. You've learned that it's impossible to hide your desires from his all-knowing, sparkling eyes, but it's also impossible not to be deeply in love with every aspect of him, even the teasing ones.

Two can play at that game, though. You make a show of sliding into the water, fully submerging yourself and bobbing back up to the surface to sensually brush wet locks of hair away from your face. "You didn't even notice my new swimwear," you pout exaggeratedly, hiding a cocky smile of your own at the way he so unabashedly gawks at you.

"I noticed," he says coolly, after he's collected himself. He tilts his head to the side and raises an eyebrow at you, the lopsided grin on his lips telling you he's aware of your antics and he won't let you get too far with them.

"And what do you think?" you wheedle, slowly closing the distance between the two of you.

"I think," he starts, wrapping a hand around your waist under the water and tugging you closer, "that I like it very much,"

"That's it?" you sulk, tilting your face away from his in faux disappointment as he leans closer.

"I don't know if you'd be able to handle the unfiltered version, sweetheart," he says lowly. He's so close now that you can feel his breath fan lightly against the side of your neck, and the skin prickles into little goosebumps in anticipation for what's to come.

He's right, if the way you're already fighting the urge to press your thighs together is any indication, but you're not one to give up so easily. Wooyoung loves it.

"Try me," is your bratty response.

Wooyoung's dangerous expression splits into a toothy grin, and he cocks a brow at your boldness as if he wasn't expecting you to be so mouthy today. Something about the way the sunlight illuminates the smooth expanses of his skin, tanned and emitting a lively glow under the summer sky just draws it out of you.

His roaming hands from earlier helped, but there's something so intoxicating about having Wooyoung's presence all to yourself that never fails to get you worked up like this.

"It's like you're begging to get fucked, baby," he coos, sharp grin still on his face. "I think you get off to slutting yourself out for me. I think," he pauses, studying your expression, "you'd already be dripping for me if I pushed that skimpy swimsuit aside,"

He already knows he's won when you bashfully avert your gaze, placing a hand on his chest and feebly attempting to push him away when the close proximity paired with his dirty words becomes too much to bear. He leans closer instead, relishing in the easy knockdown of your defences and your weakness to his charm.

His thick fingers easily lodge themselves between your thighs despite how tightly you've been pressing them together for any sort of friction to relieve yourself, his fingertips probing at your folds on top of your swim bottoms.

"We're in a pool," you gasp, bringing the hand that's not already resting against his chest up to clasp at his shoulder to steady yourself at the pleasurable pressure he's applying to your core. "It's just water you're feeling,"

You let out an embarrassingly needy squeak when he slips his fingers past the fabric that's been occupying his thoughts from the moment he spotted you through the glass doors. His fingers effortlessly slide through your folds, assisted by the wetness he knew would be there— his perfect plaything, always so ready for him. Wooyoung doesn't know how he got so lucky with you, but he reminds you every chance he gets by worshipping your body as it deserves to be.

He forces himself to wrench his hand away from your core, bringing it above the surface of the water and making scissoring motions with two of his fingers, studying the way your wetness clings to them and ties them together with clear strings of sticky arousal.

"Wooyoung," you hiss, flustered. Your legs are too wobbly for you to focus your energy on hitting him reprovingly, too devastated at the loss of stimulation between your thighs to do much else than huff at him and hope he goes back to lavishing you with his attention.

"Doesn't look like water to me, baby," he teases, spreading his pointer and middle finger apart into a V shape to show off the strings of arousal clinging to them. Before you can retort, he laves his tongue in between them, making sure you get a nice view of his tongue before he brings the fingers together and sticks them in his mouth.

He moans around them, eyes fluttering shut as he savors the taste of you— the slight flavor of chlorine from the pool doesn't hinder him in the slightest, not when you're positively dripping with his favorite treat, filled to the brim with that sweetness he's always craving whenever the two of you are apart.

"That's—" you stutter, unable to form the words as your mind goes blank at the sinful sight in front of you. Really, you should have known better than to challenge Wooyoung at this game when you know he always wins, but you've always been partial to fucking around and finding out.

"I need to have my mouth on you, now," he interrupts, popping his fingers out of his mouth and gripping at your waist.

"As enticing as that sounds," you breathe, stumbling into his chest as he pulls your body impossibly closer, "I'm not letting you lick up pool water, and I'll die if I have to wait to shower to get you to fuck me,"

Wooyoung groans at the words, his displeasure of being denied his favorite meal fading into the background the second you voice your desperation. When you're in a bratty mood, he usually has to coax the words out of you— "Beg," he'll say, "beg me to fuck you, and maybe I'll think about," and as much as he loves to watch you squirm under his gaze, he can't deny the dick-hardening appeal of you pleading for him to fuck you without him even having to ask.

"You're going to come on my fingers first," he says saccharinely as he lifts you by the waist so you're sitting precariously on the very edge of the pool, grasping at his shoulders for stability. "And then I'm going to have you coming on my cock until you can't anymore,"

His voice is so pretty and sugary sweet while his touches are anything but— his fingers grip tightly at your waist like he's trying to transfer the desire spilling out of him into you before he finally presses his fingers against your pussy once more. "How bad do you want it, baby?" he asks, never one to resist teasing you when the opportunity arises.

"You already know, Wooyoung," you whine. "You already know I want you, I need you, please, just give it to me,"

He hums noncommittally, but slides two fingers into you nonetheless. He delights in the breathy sigh you let out at the feeling, fingers curling within you and brushing tantalizingly against your walls as you clench around them.

"I don't know if I'm convinced, love," he muses, digging his fingers in deeper so they press sweet pressure around your g-spot, but never directly on. He grins at the way you squirm to get him to just finger you properly, the way you know he can, the cocky bastard.

"Need you to fuck me, Woo," you plead. "Been thinking about it since," you interrupt yourself with a stilted gasp, thighs twitching around his hand as he fucks you, "since I saw you all focused in the kitchen,"

Your words are barely understandable with the way you punctuate each one with a little moan, but Wooyoung's well-versed in the art of translating. He prides himself on the obvious effects he has on you, savoring the way your lips struggle to form sentences but sing a litany of pretty noises of pleasure just for him.

"Wanted you to fuck me over the counter," you whisper. "Or on it, just really— ah, really need you to fuck me, please, Woo, baby, I'll be good, I promise,"

"That why you decided to tease me when you got in the pool?" he says, and it's so nonchalant you want to whine in frustration. How can he be so calm and collected while his fingers rob you of your thoughts, your mobility, your sanity? "Thought you could seduce your innocent, hard-working boyfriend who only aimed to please, preparing his sweet baby a snack, into fucking you, hmm?"

"Well it looks to me like it worked," you huff, nails digging into the supple skin of his shoulder at particularly pleasurable thrust of his fingers. Hard-working, Wooyoung was unbelievably so, but innocent? Your current position, turned to putty by a single hand of his clearly begs to differ.

"Brat," he spits, but the smile has never left his face. He adores you like this— snarky, punching out your smart remarks through gritted teeth, kiss-bitten lips, and lecherous moans as you fight the urge to melt into him.

He'll always find it cute, unbearably so, how you try to mask your obvious desperation for him behind bratty little quips while pawing at his chest or his shoulder in the hopes of getting him to give you more, to give you all of him until there's nothing left.

"Just for that," he drawls, using his free hand to gently grip your chin with two fingers so that you're forced to meet his eyes, "you won't be getting my cock tonight,"

His grin sharpens sadistically at the way your face falls, eyebrows drawing together and lips folding into a pitiful pout. "You wouldn't," you breathe. You mean for it to sound confident, bold— how could he possibly not give in— but your words come out feebly, sounding more like a pleading whine than a dismissal.

"Oh, I would, baby," he chuckles, crooking his fingers inside you and relishing in the squeak you let out in response. "You know I'm more than entertained overstimulating you with my fingers and tongue,"

You're too far gone to give him a disgruntled reply, too lost in the sensation of his knuckles dragging deliciously against your walls. You don't even register his promise of overstimulation— you're too focused on the heights he's bringing you to with just two of his fingers, moving so expertly within you that you can't be bothered to think of anything else.

"My baby's a pervert, huh?" he laughs condescendingly, immediately melting your indignant expression away at the accusation by bringing the hand that was gripping your chin down to circle your clit. Your mouth falls open, soft, desperate pants spilling past your lips in abandon.

"Think 'm coming, Woo, please," you beg, shutting your eyes tightly at the overwhelming wave of pleasure.

"Yeah?" he mocks, purposely hitting just around your g-spot to frustrate you. "Just from this, baby? So easy for me,"

You shake your head vigorously, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you struggle to keep your thighs spread for him. You know he'll punish you with a sharp slap to the plush flesh and just push them back open if you don't— he's always been able to continue his assault on your pussy despite the pressure of your thighs encasing his wrist.

He groans in harmony with the jilted keen you let out as you squirt all over his hand, wrist and forearm dripping with your juices as you try to catch your breath. He doesn't let you, though— he keeps fucking you through your orgasm, fingers finally hitting your g-spot as he drops all the pretenses. He needs to see your face contort like that again, to feel your nails dig into his skin and your thighs tremble around him as you reach another high.

"Squirting already?" he laughs breathlessly, his onslaught on your pussy unhindered by your weak grip on his soaked forearm and pathetic swats to his sun-kissed chest.

"Don't flatter yourself," you gasp, trying to squirm away from the pleasure.

"Running from me, baby?" he pouts, abandoning your clit to push you into him, crowding you against his chest. "I'm hurt,"

"'s too much, Wooyo, can't take it,"

"I thought you wanted this, love," he says, voice coated in faux sympathy. He has to fight to keep the pout on his face when your walls flutter at his tone— he loves the effect he has on you, how your thighs clench when he acts mean.

He loves you from the bottom of his heart, and he loves that you trust him to tear you apart like this, melt you into a puddle of thoughts that sing nothing but Wooyoung's praises and fill you with mind-numbing satisfaction.

"You were begging me to fuck you earlier, remember?" he coos, bringing a hand up to brush the back of his fingers against your cheek. The sudden urge to bring you to blissful tears overtakes him as he does so— your bashful gaze is turned down to the sloshing pool water, and he wants to see the pretty tears spill from your lash line and glitter in the sunlight as they slide down your cheeks.

He'll unpack that later, though— for now, the remainders of your arousal from your first orgasm sliding down his forearm reminds him of the pleasure you denied him earlier. This time, paltry excuses of pool water won't prevent him from getting a taste of you.

Wooyoung hooks his forearms under your thighs, muscles flexing as he lifts you up until your legs are resting on his shoulders, calves brushing against his back while he buries his face into your cunt.

Wooyoung's name falls past your lips in a strangled whimper, your hands flailing before you steady yourself by gripping the soft strands of his hair. You love the way the length suits him, the classic black his hair was dyed when you fell in love, but you've never been more thankful for the strong locks of his hair until now.

"You can't!" you exclaim, albeit shakily from the vigor he's eating you out with, his perfect, pretty nose rubbing lewdly against your clit.

"Why not?" he mumbles through a mouthful of your pussy, hands kneading the flesh of your ass as he devours you.

"The chlorine—"

"Can't taste a thing but you, baby," he coos into your cunt, nudging insistently at your clit with his nose as if to prove his point. "Always so fucking sweet for me,"

"Wooyo, 'm gonna come again, please," you whimper, fingers curling into his hair as you can't seem to decide whether you want to pull him away from your core or push him closer.

"So obedient, love," he hums, chuckling when you moan at the way every syllable vibrates through your body. "So good, asking for my permission,"

"Please?" you repeat pitifully, nails scratching deliciously against his scalp.

"Give it to me, sweetheart," he says, and you immediately reward him with a plaintive whine and your orgasm spilling into his mouth. He laps it up greedily, sucking and licking at you as you wobble precariously on his shoulders from the overstimulation, shuddering little whimpers falling from your lips as he works you through it.

"So good for me," he repeats. "Love you so much, baby,"

He giggles when your dazed reply comes a few beats later, a sweet "Love you too, so much, Wooyo," that has his heart squeezing in his chest like your words tightly wrapped a rubber band across the muscle.

"Wanna take care of you, want your cock," you babble, squirming above him as he presses gentle kisses to your soaked and kiss-bitten thighs.

"You're going to have to give me a few minutes, love," he says sheepishly, carefully lifting you off of him and holding you close to his chest as you stumble to regain your footing in the pool.

"No way," you blink incredulously, slightly more lucid as you make sense of his sentence. "Did you really—?"

"Couldn't help myself," he whines, rubbing his cheek against the top of your head. "You're so sexy, taste so good, sound so pretty for me.. It'd be impossible not to with someone as gorgeous and perfect and lovely as you squirting all over me,"

You whack his chest lightly for the last bit— uncalled for, even if it's true— and giggle into his neck. "We're going to have to drain the pool or something before we check out of here, Woo," you laugh. "I can't believe you did this,"

"We did this," he corrects. "And by this, you mean made sweet, sweet love, so I really don't see the problem!"

"You're insatiable,"

"You were begging me for my cock literally 5 seconds ago," he retorts, pinching your waist and tightening his grip around you when you try to squirm away.

"Well, I changed my mind," you tease, grinning at him.

He mirrors you with a dazzling smile of his own, bumping your foreheads against one another. "Unfortunately," he says, hauling you over his shoulder and ignoring your surprised squeal, "No take backs, baby. All's fair in love and war,"

"Is that what we are?" you ask, dangling from his shoulder as he walks you back into the rental home, uncaringly dripping water all over the floor. "At war?"

"Nooooo, baby, we're in love!" he whines, deliberately jostling you around in retaliation.

"Yeah, we are," you giggle breathlessly, giving in. "I'm so happy we were able to spend time like this, even if the circumstances that created the opportunity were less than ideal," you say when he sets you down on the edge of the large bathtub.

"Me too, love," he brushes his nose against yours, then presses a sweet kiss to your forehead. "And I'll be okay, you don't have to worry,"

"I know," you say quietly, drinking him in. From his wet, slicked-back hair to his pretty, tanned skin, the dot under his eye and on his lip that you love to spot in the barefaced photos he sends you after his schedules. His sparkling eyes as deep as the night sky that hold your whole world in them. "I just hate to think of you struggling on your own, dealing with things on your own,"

"But I'm not alone, my love," he reminds you, gently cupping your face with his palms. "I'm not alone, and I never will be," He kisses you, softly, lovingly, reassuringly— your sweet, kind, loving Wooyoung, so full of love and so willing to give it.

"You're my everything, Woo," you whisper.

"And you're mine," he smiles.

[shamachan]

hiii haiii hi ray im waving at you yet again

im not here to request a hc or anything i just wanna say i really like your art AND writing, ur super talented hope you have a good dayy :3

OH BUTTT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT UR MC HE SEEMS SO COOL thank you for the meal

HEYY HII HELLO!!! thank uu so muchhh omg, im so glad u like my works!! that means A LOT TO ME ACTUALLY, have a great day too!!<3

OHH AND IF U DON'T MIND MY TALKING ABOUT MY RAY-RAY...

First of all,I created him completely by accident. but i liked him, and i got him a name because of his hair!! they look like made of gold so he's last name is Golden. and then I just decided to make a play on words - he is literally the Golden Ray, what a sunny kid.

Ray is actually a little bit of a gambling guy! he knows how to play a couple of card games. and it is also easy to force him to do something, saying that he is too weak to do this. Ray will prove otherwise (with one broken leg and finger lol)

so far practically everyone likes Qiu or Tamarack, but Ray really likes Ren already from step 1! his childhood crush will continue as he grows up. but he is so embarrassed in front of Darren in step 1 that his attempts to say something look something like this:

he also loves origami and in his room there is a whole knight's equipment made of paper :3 he's a silly

I’ll say right away that my oc has such hair because he's bi-racial (if u don't mind)

thank you for your interest in my MC!! Someday I’ll definitely write a separate work about him, but I don’t know if I’ll post it...

If you're still reading this, have a nice day!

[tetzoro]

if you were to, who would you ship your moots with 🎤

thank you so much for asking me !! why did this just turn into me gushing about their selfships. anyway, thanks for indulging me with this :’)

@seiwas - iwaizumi !! he adores you so much, you’re such a ray of sunshine and i think he’d always look at you so fondly hehe !! everytime i see you post about him i can just see how much u love him and i just know that he loves you just as much !!!

@tetsument - why, mr kuroo tetsuro ofc. you guys are soulmates and my otp hehe this man loves you sooo so so so much, you’re all he talks about <3 he’s always there to squeeze you as soon as he gets home from work and he’s such a lil cuddle bug with uuuu !!!

@logicaltribbles - OIKAWA . it just makes sense . giggling bc for some reason i picture you guys playing fortnite and ur kicking ass (per usual) while he’s shooting at the sky but seriously you guys just fit together so well i will always picture you together <333 MWAH

@eussstasss - eustass kid !!! anytime i see this man on my screen i think of you hehe he’s so protective of you, it’s so endearing T^T and in my head yall are always coordinating fits now so ofc i gotta ship yall together 😋

@heart-of-trafalgar - LAW. and that’s final. “love changes you” 🥰 i know i give him the most shit but you guys are everything to me :((( i love your dynamic and i think yall just get each other — it makes sense ! forever n always !!!

@oooohno - okay i’m going with smoker rn BC BC BC !!! you guys would be so adorable together. you making this 6’10 man blush & kick his feet is everything to me (i caught him once and he told me he’d drop my bounty if i didn’t tell anyone … whoops 😔 …)

@gojipink - childe :3 tbh i need to pick your brain about you and him 10x more but i love your vibes together hehe he seems like he’s so sweet around you , giving u lots of affection :’) you’re his lil treasure !! and i feel like he’s supa protective over you <3 just wants to give u the world !!

@likelilacwine - SATORU . it has to be said . i always love seeing your selfship art and im like “this is canon., yup yup yup” the love you guys have makes my heart melt and i honestly ship you guys sm i had to go with him :’) (but u and this new man …… also a contender and i’m looking forward to watching bsd so i can cheer yall on)

@hwaitham - of course i ship you with ur haithie:3 you guys feel like that couple that’s been together for years n years and still look at each other with so much love everyone in the room can feel it . such a power couple that everyone looks up to ! and the way he looks at uuuu 🥹🫶 my faves my faves my FAVES !! ᰔ

@zorosprincess - kazie pls i ship you with sm people ur so lovable . but my mind always goes to suna for you teehee i think you guys have the best banter and such a fun & teasing dynamic but also can just chill with each other and vibe ! (law and zoro are about to throttle me for not picking them so im also throwing them in there to avoid injury & bc i love yall sm)

@reverie-starlight - tsumu. always gotta b tsumu :3 you’re such a fun person to chat with and i feel like he’d be sooo so drawn to u !! just thinkin about how big he smiles at you whenever you come to his games .. yeah <3 you and tsumu are such an adorable couple !!

@quinloki - ooooh it’s gotta be sabo <3 idk why but in my head i just see yall together hehe i feel like you guys have the same sort of free spirit vibe and would flow together so well !! a dynamic duo !! we love to see it <3 im def going to be stopping by soon to ask u more about him hehehe

@a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name - taps chin. honestly there’s a few i’d wish to ship you with hehe but i think im going to say osamu !! i think you guys would gel so well together. both have laid back and easygoing attitudes and supa easy to talk to ^_^ but also i wanna toss bakugo in HEHEHE

@dark-mnjiro - HI LEE ! okay so i know ur all about adam these days so ofc i ship you with him teehee but also … why am i wanting to ship u with oikawa 🤭 i think you’d be so cute together !! if u don’t like him pls pretend i only said adam <3 /lh (also i need to pick ur brain for your selfship with adam more bc i need to know more !!)

@kentopedia - don’t hate me …. don’t block me … but sanji. LISTEN ! you and nanami are everything to me, you’re mrs nanami after all. but sanji needs his moment .. he’d spoil you to no end, shower you in so much affection, cook you all the yummiest food !!! he’s lana coded and he’s YOURS. runs !!!! (plus we can double date hello 😔🫶)

@kissingojo - obviously my first pick is gojo bc hello !!! ur literally kissing him rn hehehe <3 but ive seen you talking bout dabi on the dash lately 😏😏 so i kinda wanna ship you with him as well hehe i will be dashing to ur inbox soon to pick your brain about him >:3

@mochimooon - jean !!!!! hello !!! soulmates <3 this man absolutely worships the ground you walk on and he’s going to prove himself to you everyday, he loves you so much !!! i see ur name and think of jean , so it’s absolutely meant to be !!

@satorena - and if i say zoro ……. 🤭🤭 listen . i’ll never forget yall together . you guys are such a hot couple PLS the IT couple ! ofc i ship you with gojo as well but zoro says he’s not afraid to fight .. so uh 🍿🍿 let’s sit and enjoy the show, shall we ? 😌

@crisae - SAE SAE SAE ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ you guys are literally famous to me . international superstar couple . everytime i see art of you and him i have to wipe a tear bc it’s like my fave celeb couple were seen out & about being cute & in love . i’m ur biggest fan okay 😔🫶 forever shipping u with him !!

@bokutone - MARI !!! HELLO !!!! i ship you with bokuto ofc teehee i think you guys are lil balls of sunshine and i wanna tuck u both into my pocket for safekeeping hehehe ᰔ this man always gives u the biggest hug whenever he sees you, doesn’t matter if you’ve been apart for a few minutes or days !! he’s there with open arms !!

@tetsuskei - i ship you with all ur faves actually so !!! they’re all obsessed with you. but forever holding you kuroo and tsukki close to my heart !! MY BABIES !!!! the poly couple that stole the show <3 but also you and ace are so precious to me .. 🥹 and I WILL NOT FORGET U AND TENDOU EVER !!!!

@bby-deerling - ZOROOOO !!!! (but also … i’m looking at you and law) BUT you and zoro are SO CUUUTE !! whenever i read your posts about him i just :’) bc your love for each other is so palpable and you can see how much you care about each other !! waaah i love yall sm :3 !!

@txmxkis - you already know im gonna say kuroo >:3 !! how could i not !! you guys are so perfect !! idk why but when i think of you guys i always think of you guys on some lil adventure, exploring new places in the city but also in nature hehe & always laughing n giggling together yup yup !!! <3

@xianyoon - WRIOOO !!! oh you and wrio are just sooo so adorable . whenever i see him i think of you now hehe also thinking of you being a lil mermaid and wrio just absolutely falling head over heels for you… AS HE SHOULD !!! ik when i finally meet him in genshin im going to be sprinting to you and tellin u all about it !!! ᰔ

@zorosdimples - zoro :3 !! oh myyy how could i not !! <3 you two are a tale as old as time and just compliment each other so well !! he’s picking u up rn and bringing you in his lap for a lil snooze , literally refuses to nap without u !! but also can we talk about you and yuuji teehee you guys are so adorable and i can’t stop smilin when i see ur lil pfp !!

@suashii you and sunarinaaa <3 LMFAO (had to use that nickname im sorry) but you guys are soulmates actually it would be a crime for me not to ship you guys !! but don’t tell him that i’ve been shipping u and kaeya lately … i think you deserve ur knight in shining armor and kaeya is more than ready to deliver !! (suna is shopping for armor rn btw.. he might need a reassuring smooch)

:3 - okay. ik you didn’t like the post (i think) but i love u and the world needs to know i ship you with BOKUTOOOOO !!! you and ur tinky :’) oh how he adores you. i love you guys so much and i love whenever you come talk to me about him !! mwah

[otherone12]

High School Stuff

Basement!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! I recently realized that I had never written a Basement Gerard fic, so I made this one. I also never did a DD era too, but soon I will… idk if i really liked this one, but I hope you like it! <3

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! )

Summary: Gerard alwas has a crush on you, but you're part of "popular" world, so he didn't get any hope to be with you. Little did he know that you liked him as much as he liked you. (I know that canonically basemant gee would already be an adult, but in this fic he is like 17 years old.)

- Word Count: 2.850

- Warnings: None, but this fic is a teenage cliché, and swach from the 1st person to the 3rd person POVs a lot.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

3 Person POV

- They're so perfect! - Gerard sighed, daydreaming, and drawing them in his sketchbook - Like... all pretty, and so kind, so smart... fuck!

It wasn't the first time he did this, everytime they passed through him in the school corridors, he spent the morning talking about this. In the beginning, it was cute, but it turned out to be a bother.

Spending lunch listening to him talk wouldn't be a problem if the topics were different, but before he could continue declaring himself to his own drawing, Frank couldn't contain himself.

- Gee, we know that you're in love. - He began, still chewing his sandwich - Hm... But can you shut up about this for once?!

Without Stopping looking at what he was scribbling, Gerard sighed once more.

- Sorry...

His sad voice made the boys exchange glances, a little regretful for cutting off their friend. But that didn't last long, because he went back to talking as if nothing had happened.

- But I could literally kill for a kiss! - Gerard growled - Nothing is ever gonna happen,I know, but I can dream, can't I?

Frank huffed, burying his face in his hands, while Ray found himself in need of interfering before they ended up being rude to Gerard.

- Sure you can, dude. - Ray's comforting smile didn't mask the fact that they couldn't take it anymore.  - But I think Frank is right... you talk too much about them.

- But the draw is pretty cool, by the way. - Mikey smiles, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder.

- Thanks, Mikey... - An awkward smile filled his face -  I'll stop talking about this... I didn't mean to bother you, guys.

- That's fine, Gee. - Mikey said, while he chuckles -  We know you can't help it.

It wasn't long before the bell rang, causing each of the boys to go to their respective classrooms. Before going to the classroom, Gerard needed to stop by his locker to get the right books.

1st Person POV

- Want me to go with you? - My friend asked me, after we heard the bell rings. - I'll skip the next class anyway...

- No need, I'll manage. - I chuckled, getting up - Thanks... if you get bored, text me!

Walking through the school's corridor, going to my locker, I couldn't help but stare at Gerard, who was in the middle of the crowd of teenagers, walking to his locker too. He always looks so cute...

I never had the chance to talk to him, but, discreetly, I've heard him talking about comics, movies, rock bands... but whenever I had the opportunity to talk to him, my friends ended up stopping me in some way. 

They say he's weird, he stinks, his locker is gross... Once, my friend said he has a dungeon in his basement. Still, I think he's interesting.

I made my way towards him, thinking that would be my chance to talk to him, but I wasn't fast enough, and he got in the classroom.  It's been months trying, but something always goes wrong.

Well, my class went smoothly, but I still couldn't get him out of my mind.  I think if something was going to happen, it would have already happened. If he had any feelings, he would have told me, right? Or is the lack of opportunity mutual? Anyways, the next class is my favorite... Gerard sits in front of me, but his science partner doesn't stop talking for a minute.

The teacher arrived in the room, and the noise of the conversations stopped. Nobody really likes her, but she sure is scary.

- Good afternoon, class! - she starts, with a fake sympathy - Well, today we're gonna do something different. I'm gonna change your partners.

The whole class booed, but soon the noise stopped. 

- Calm down, everyone! It's just for today. But... I'm gonna choose.

She started to separate the pairs, in the end I think I ended up without one. 

- Are you left without a partner? - She asked, with the least kindness a human being could have.

- I guess so... - I responded, I won't lie, the feeling of being alone is bad, but I faked confidence  - But I can do it by myself.

She took a quick look around the room, and her gaze landed on the only person who was oblivious to the whole situation, with his headphones on full volume and his head buried in a sketchbook.

- I think mr. Way has no partner too... Well, now you both have.

Finally it was my chance, I didn't take long and got close to his table, I didn't know exactly how to get his attention, Gerard seemed to be in his own world, very completely distant.  

My body ended up casting a shadow over his drawing, causing Gerard to look in my direction. His eyes widened, and he quickly took off his headphones.

- Hey! Gerard, right? - Obviously I knew who he was, but since we never talked, it would be weird if I said I knew a lot about him. 

- Y-yes - His face turned light red, and he swallowed hard. 

- I'm-

- I know who you are - Panic took hold of him, turning him even more red, as he realized what he had said without thinking. - I-i mean, you're one of the p-popular ones, so e-everybody knows you and-

- I got it - I smiled at him, taking a seat in the chair by his side. -  good thing, I didn't waste time with introductions. 

He stared at me, his eyes were even more beautiful up close... well, if I didn't speak, he wouldn't either, so I started

- Well, I think we're partners for the class today...

- A-are we? - A shy smile appeared on his face - That's n-nice...

Gerard put a lock of his black hair behind his ear, damn he's so strangely handsome... That shy way of his, I've actually never heard him stutter, could it be because of me? 

Not giving a damn about the work the teacher had given, and realizing that he wasn't paying attention either, I started to bring up a subject. 

- I saw you were drawing... - I looked towards his notebook, but unfortunately he had already quickly closed it when I sat down next to him.  - May I see?

- I-i don't know... - Strangely, he turned the notebook over, handpicking the drawing he was going to show me. - M-maybe this one-

Before he could turn the notebook over, a sheet fell out of it, gliding delicately to the floor, right next to my foot. 

In an effort to help, I bent down and picked up the sheet from the floor. As soon as I did it, I couldn't help but look at the drawing on it. 

- I-is that... me? - I stared in disbelief at the drawing, then back at him, who was about to pass out, trying to hide every inch of his beautiful face in his hands.  -  What's wrong? That's fucking awesome! 

- Y-you not supposed to see this... - he whined, shaking his mug in disappointment 

- Why not?! - The more I looked at the drawing, the more I loved every detail... but I didn't understand why he didn't want to show it to me... or why he chose to draw me... among so many people. - The drawing is perfect! 

- D-do you think so? - Little by little he was digging his face out of his hands.- D-don't you think it is c-creepy or something? 

- No way! I'm even flattered! - He let out a proud smile, but his shyness was still visible. - I was thinking... maybe we could-

Before I could say anything, and finally make plans for us to go outside this damn school, but it turned out that the bell rang right on time and my friend came running and grabbed me by the arm.

- 'Cmon, I have a million things to tell you.

It all happened so fast that I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. But I don't plan on telling anyone about his drawing... if he got nervous just because I saw it, imagine if other people knew. 

Even though they told me a million things, I couldn't absorb anything, my mind was still lost in the science period I spent with Gerard. 

3 Person POV

Gerard stood there, Sitting in class and putting materials in the backpack. He was taking in everything that had just happened. It was a mixture of joy, at having finally talked to them, and fear that they would find him even more weird.

Knowing where he would find his friends, Gerard left the room and ran to tell them every detail.

- ... And then they saw one of the drawings I made of them.

The boys looked at each other, already expecting the worst, then Mikey asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

- So now they think you're a perv?

Gerard was embarrassed, remembering the exact moment it all happened, but a small, hopeful smile appeared on his slightly flushed face.

- I-i don't think so... - the excitement in his voice was becoming more evident   - They said they were flattered, so...

The worried expressions soon turned into smiles, and Gerard sighed in relief.

- Man, that's a great thing... - Ray put his hand on Gerard's shoulder, encouraging his friend. - I don't want to get your hopes up, but you should talk to them.

- You think? - His hazel eyes glowed.

- I'm sure! - Ray almost screamed, but he didn't care.

Before they could celebrate, Frank raised an extremely important point that none of the others had thought of.

- But you have to find them alone - He suggested, seriously  -  'cause their friends are jerks and gonna humiliate you.

- Frank! - Mikey widens his eyes, afraid that this would make his brother give up.

- But it's true! - Frank defended himself - I already heard them saying shit about you, about us, actually...

- You're right... I should meet them alone... - Gerard took a deep breath, pausing for a moment to think about when he could actually have a conversation without their friends around. - But it's almost impossible... they're always with a friend.

1st Person POV

A few days have passed and I still can't get him out of my mind. All I want to do is chat about him to someone, but my friends definitely won't take it easy. Sometimes I wonder if they're really my friends, or if we just decided it was socially appropriate for us to hang out together. Like, I disagree with almost all the things they do, the way they talk about people is just not nice and once in a while I ask myself if they talk shit about me too.

Well, my parents aren't a good option either, they think that dating at my age is a waste of time or whatever. So I have to keep it to myself... I wish I had asked him to give me the drawing he did, y'know, just to make sure i didn't make it all up in my head.

Well, the days went by, one more boring than the other, until one ordinary morning, I was in the corridor again, and I saw Gerard approaching, I couldn't help but let a smile grow on my face

- Hey!  - He said a bit shy.

- Hi! - I smiled at him, excited that we were finally talking again - How’s it going? 

- I’m fine! How ‘bout you? 

- Better now - He took a deep breath and scratched his hand behind his neck - i…hm… i wanted to ask if you wan- 

I wanted to hear it, but then a couple of my friends showed up, interrupting, like always. They looked at us, trying to understand the situation and expressing their annoyance that Gerard was there.

- Does he really think he can talk to you? - He chuckled, pointing to Gerard with disgust.

I saw Gerard's gaze change completely, one second ago I saw the most beautiful smile I've ever seen, and now he was looking down, avoiding any eye contact, embarrassed.

- Dude, you have no chance here - She said threateningly, stucking up her nose - so why don't you just get away, you freak!

Gerard gave me a brief look, making his way to leave, and before he could really do it, thinking I would act like my "friends", I didn't help myself back and stared at them in an unafraid way.

- I was actually talking to him, so I think you guys really should leave. - I was calm, but ready if they wanted to discuss.

Gerard's eyes wide, unexpecting me say that. A light smile appeared in his face,

- Are you trading us for this thing?! - She was shocked. Her eyebrows furrowed, and almost screamed in the hallway.

- Yep, - I wrapped my arm around Gerard's waist and he gasped. I keep eye contact with my not-friend-anymore and mocked- it's that hard for you to get it? I thought you're smarter than that. 

- So now you're dating this? - He curled his lips, looking at the top from the bottom of us. - How gross.

Carried by the heat of the moment and wanting them to leave, I held Gerard's face, pulling him close enough for me to reach his lips. Damn how I wanted this kiss. I got drunk on the taste of coffee and cigarettes in their mouths, for a second I even forgot that they were looking at us.

Surprisingly, he kept kissing me, so I didn't break it until I really needed to breathe. The soft skin of his face in my hand and the feeling of his lips on mine was so perfect, I wanted this never to end.

Letting go of his mouth, I smiled at him, which was clearly still holding his breath, and didn't know how to react. I ignored the disgusted looks our audience were giving us, just smiling at him, as he did the same, blushing hard.

- I am - I answered, confident - Right, Gee?

When I looked at him, Gerard passed his hand behind my back, not even looking at the idiots in front of us.

- Y-yeah! - He was still stunned, but in a good way, I think.

they exchanged looks, chuckling, i was supposed to feel embarrassed or something like that, but being by Gerard made things seem different. Is not like he was confident, but at least I wasn't alone.

- Don't you ever talk with us again. - He said, and they walked away.

I waved at them, playfully, trying to have fun with the situation , but I knew that they wouldn't leave Gee alone, quite the opposite, now I was a brand new target. Anyway, at that moment, the only thing I could think was "what if he didn't want me to kiss him?!".

- I-i'm, sorry for the kiss. - Desperately and not wanting him to think I was weird or he saying that he didn't like me that way, I started to apologize  - I didn't mean to. Like, i did, i want it really bad, but i shouldn't have-

Without warning, he cut me off, kissing me with his soft lips, his two hands holding my face. The kiss was not delicate, but messy and inexperienced. My hands went up to his greasy hair, and I could hear little moans coming from his mouth as my tongue made its way over his lower lip. There were people in the corridor, but I didn't care, and neither did he. Again, we ran out of steam, slowly separating from each other. I licked my lips, absorbing the situation.

- Don't worry, i wanted it too, you can't even imagine how much - He admitted, without any sort of shame - and thanks for defending me. I am used to them doing this kind of thing, you don't need to worry...

-You shouldn't have to get used to this. - I sighed - The least I could do was be by your side.

I turned my attention to the materials in my locker, picking up the things I would need for the next lesson, but he didn't seem completely satisfied. His eyes remained on me, not a bad feeling, but I was curious to know what he was thinking. Gerard snorted, and I closed the cupboard, looking at him again.

- So... you said we were dating - He sounded confused and innocent, so fucking cute - Were you serious? I mean, I know we're not dating, but would you?

- Well, I really like you, but before we could properly date, I think we should hang out, if you wanted to, of course.

With every word that came out of my mouth, I saw his eyes shine brighter and brighter, he looked like a child who just got a new toy

- Yes! I want, I always wanted! - He cheered, trying to hold his enthusiasm - Are you up to get to starbucks after school?

- Sure! - my joy was cut off by the school bell - But I really gotta go now... math test.

- May I accompany you there? - He let out a shy smile

- Yes, please. - I giggled.

Gerard extended his hand, and I held it. I'm not gonna lie, it was weird at first, 'cause his hands were sticky, but after a couple steps, i didn't mind anymore. 

He was practically jumpping, and I followed suit down the corridor, taking advantage of the company I could get from him in that moment.

___________________________________________

~Soo, that's it! hope u enjoyed. ;)

[baradurus]

This is my love Letter/Appreciation post to the qsmp thumbler!since i saw so many ppl doing it

(Im kind of a lurker and have just recently become more activ RIGHT WHEN IT ENDED)

Anyways yall are such a nice community!And honestly a safespace for me its really fun to read all the silly shenanigans you come up with ,qsmp thumbler really cheers up my day and sometimes its even the Highlight of my day.

And some of you maynot know me since i am a lurker but i just want to say my appreciationto some ppl bellow the cut

(If i make anyone uncomfy with tagging them please do tell me and i will imeadiatly remove you)

To the artist

@ama-a93 I LOVE LOVE LOVE I JUST ADORE YOU ART ITS SOSO BEUTIFULL I JUST CANT i always get hyperaktiv when i See your beutifull art <3

@ddummy07 omg i cant even begin to describ how much i adore your content it soso amazing i love it so much i first saw you on tik tok and your Animations are just WOW

@lutraviolet your artsyle is so beutifull as is your art u always amazes me how beutifull it is whenever i look at it i think OMG IT SO PRETTYYYYYY at the same time i want all the Art you Post!

@acetheabnormal the backbone of the miscklikers i think i once sent an ask to tell you how much i adores your artstyle BUT IT SIMPLY WAS NOT ENOUGH YOUR ANIMATICS YOUR ART EVERYTHING IS SIMPLY TOP NOTCH evrrytime you post it fills me with joy

@vastlaundrybear im must say ,how much i adore your artsyle your animatics just simply everything ITS SO AAARGH i especally like your slimeccle Design (i also just adore your jrwi animatics) JUST YOUR ANIMATICS IN GENERAL ARE SOO ARRGHHH the transitions ,the lightning,JUST EVERYTHING

@thatonedogart omg i love itARRGHHH you keep me alive i live in jealousy of your greatness!!

@thatplankoverthere omg i love LOVE YOUR ART AREGHHH it simply is just so beutifull (you inspirw me to continue my traditional art journey!!)

now to the amazing artist and my mutal @smallz-o just muah everytime you Post i get happy you are a ray of sunshine to me i aprecviate you soso much and you have Motivation me to be way way more activ in the community (like also Posting art of my own and such<333)

@sadtrashking ARGHH YOUR ART IS SIMPLY SO CREATIV i love love love your takes on the qsmp memebers and turning them into animals(? Sry if thats not the right word)and omg your art is simply prefection i strive to one day be as creativ as you

@shen-mu your art is litterally SO SO GOOD ARRGHHH i just love your artsyle (and wth you post art so quik) it always Cheerleader my day up seing your art!!!

And since were on the topic of mutal

@fantasticflavor i love love love your Pixel art it inspires me so much AND WTH YOU ART IS SOSO PRETTY <333its an honor to be mutal with u!

@motshine i always love to See you in my notfications and your pfp is just so silly <3

@safetycap you are kinda like an Update source to me and i appreciate you very much!

@dragon-lady-owo it is always a pleasure seing that youve liked smt of mine and i apprecate you very very much!!!!!

@orquydia im very very glad that ive got to know you through our silly battel that started cus you liked my art and i decide to like smt of yours and then we had a littel like war (that i won)i apreciate you very very much and hope that our friendship continues to blossum i always enjoy our Talks about anything our minds can think of ( mostly robots)

@saltedcaramelchaos my beloved mutal! Although we dont talk much i appreciate you with every bone i have left your a very nice person from what i can tell and wish you the best!!

To ppl i stayed Updates through:

@royalarchivist you are a litteral livesafer to me no joke you have keep me updated on soso many things and i appreciate the work youve been doing :)

@hey-i-am-trying i appreciate you so so much and thank you for being such a cool person!

@anachronistic-falsehood you have also been a soucre of info to me and its alway cool to See you post <3

@starriknight believ it or not ive been staying updated through you and i appreciate all youve done for the community!!!

I hope i dident forget anyone! Have a nice day <333

[salty-croissants]

Could u write a fluff fic where the reader comforts ramon/rayman after a rough night or bad dream :3

I love this kinda scenario and would love to see it in your writing 💗

Thank you for the request ! 

A comfort scenario for my favorite limbless man ? Yes please :,) ❤️

I really enjoyed writing this , I’m always down to give him some well deserved affection ! 

Hope these turned out okay ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationships ; 

presence of mild swearing in Ramon’s part and general angst with following fluff  

Rayman 🧡

< Oh Rayman … are you seriously that stupid ?

We gave you one job , one simple job , and you managed to mess that up too ? >

< I … I’m sorry … > 

Rayman fearfully looked up at the silhouettes of the Directors towering over him …

What did he even do wrong ? He couldn’t bring himself to remember … 

He always did a good job , didn’t he ? 

his performances were always met with enthusiasm by the public , weren’t they ? 

< And to think that we gave you everything you could ever want , lifting you from the dirt when everyone thought of you as a monster … how ungrateful can you possibly be ? > 

< I-I know that - 

Just please , tell me what I did wrong , I’m sure I can fix it ! > 

There was a moment of silence , before the Directors begun to fade away in the darkness , leaving Rayman completely alone .

< No - wait a second —

Please , PLEASE give me one more chance ! Whatever I did - I won’t do it again , I swear !!  

DON’T LEAVE ME HERE !!! > 

He tried to run behind them , hoping , praying that he would’ve been able to explain himself , but even though it felt like he was getting farther and farther away from where he was before they were just … gone . 

< No … no no no … why is this happening … > 

Rayman felt completely lost and abandoned in that moment … but the second he realized a familiar silhouette was approaching his eyes widened and a glimpse of hope appeared in his troubled mind .

< y/n !!

Oh thank god … thank god you’re here ! I’m so happy to see y - > 

Then he saw it … the way you were looking at him : the sheer disappointment in your eyes made that little glimpse of hope crumble to dust … but could he really blame you ?

He knew that without his job and his fame he was nothing , so now that the Directors had thrown him out why would someone as wonderful as you want to be with a limbless freak ?

Those thoughts finally caused him to crack , and Rayman took a few steps in your direction to then drop on his knees , the sound of his tears falling on the ground and his helpless sobs filling the endless darkness all around …

< I’m sorry … I-I’m so sorry , y/n … I wasn’t good enough … I know I don’t deserve you , I know I don’t , but please …

P-please don’t leave me … don’t … leave … > 

< Ray … ? > 

The sound of your voice and the sensation of your hand gently caressing his cheek made Rayman slowly wake up from that terrible dream , and as soon as he saw your face he managed to calm himself down …

< H … hey , y/n … 

Sorry , I didn’t mean to wake you … > 

, he whispered , smiling at you weakly as an attempt to avoid making you worry about him .

< It’s okay sweetie , you don’t have to apologize , but … > 

You stared at your boyfriend with concern while your fingers wiped away a few more of his tears .

< Are you alright ? > 

Rayman sighed in response , leaving a kiss on your palm .

< … I’ve been better … > 

< Wanna talk about it ? > 

< Mm … maybe tomorrow . 

You need to get some more rest , and I gotta be ready in time for that interview . 

It’s not a big deal anyway … don’t worry about it too much , okay ? > 

You weren’t exactly convinced by what he said , but still you nodded , locking him in a tight embrace and giving him a kiss on the nose .

< Okay … sleep well Ray , I love you … > 

Those words were exactly what he needed to hear after what he saw , and as Rayman placed his head against your chest he couldn’t help but feel a beautiful peace melting all his fears away …

You were the only person in the world who could make him feel that way .

< Thank you … 

I love you too y/n , so , so much … ~ >

Ramon 🖤

The sounds of shots being fired all around him was almost deafening , and as Ramon ran through the battlefield he just couldn’t bring himself to stop : 

he needed to get out of there , far away from Eden … he needed to lead the both of you to safety , no matter how many of those assholes he would’ve had to kill . 

< Come on y/n , this way ! 

We’re so close - > 

When he turned around it took a few seconds for him to realize the fact that you weren’t behind him anymore … 

And his heart sunk . 

< y/n … ?

y/n where are you ?? > 

Ramon instantly turned back , despite the knowing full well that it was probably a death sentence for him …

He had to find you .

That was all that mattered . 

< y/n !! y/n where - 

Agh - get off me you bastard — 

Y/N !!! > 

His voice was barely audible among the chaos … he couldn’t even think straight anymore , just shooting whoever tried to get in his way and moving forward while unsure about where he was going .

… then , he saw your silhouette laying on the ground , and he immediately rushed towards you , a strange mixture of panic and relief overwhelming his every thought .

< y/n - y/n I’m here ! 

I’m here love , you’re gonna be o … kay … > 

When he got a better view of you , Ramon felt as if time around him had just stopped , leaving only him with that terrible vision of your bleeding body : 

it looked like you had been shot all over … many , many times , and you didn’t seem to be moving anymore . 

< No … no … ! > 

His shaky hands held you close to him , as he found himself unable to hold back his tears .

< Oh god please no … not them … n-not them … 

y/n , please … please come back … I need you , I-I need you so much … > 

The last thing Ramon could do before everything faded to black was just scream , a terrible , devastating despair shattering him from the inside …

What was he even going to do now … ?

He had lost you , his beloved partner , his everything … 

Was that … the end ? 

Ramon gasped , getting into a sitting position with his heart pounding in his chest , and he immediately turned around to check if you were next to him …

And you were , thankfully : 

you had started to wake up when you heard your boyfriend muttering your name in his sleep , and now you were looking up at him with a worried expression , wondering what he had seen .

< Ramon , honey … are you oka - > 

He didn’t answer , he just laid back down to hold you in his arms , his breathing still sharp and abnormally fast .

< Please , please don’t … I can’t talk about it now .

I just need to feel you here with me , y/n … that’s … that’s all I need … > 

Your gaze softened as you hugged him back , caressing his hair with one hand and feeling his tensed body slowly relax thanks to your loving gestures …

It wasn’t the first time Ramon had a nightmare , his nights were often tormented by visions of Eden finally catching up to the both of you , and while you couldn’t exactly make his fears go away completely you were always able to make him feel better . 

< That’s fine … here , try to breathe a bit slower , okay ? 

I got you Ram , I’m not going anywhere , I promise . > 

He opened his eyes for a brief moment to look at you , before leaning forward to place a small kiss on your lips …

< Thanks … 

I … don’t know what I’d do without you , my love . >