#thank u for reading my bullshit whew

[pixiestein]

my first meowlody & purrsephone designs vs my second designs

i usually don’t like to post my drawings but idk i just rlly enjoy the progress btwn these two designs. im gonna explain my thought processes but im sooo sleepy so bear with me & my rambling or scroll on if u want :3

at first i thought- they’re tuxedo cats, it would be cool to incorporate tuxedo jackets into their outfits! but yeah, i couldn’t figure out how to integrate fancy suit jackets into the casual styles that i wanted for them. maybe i’ll do a formal design w tuxes later but it’s jus not working for this one. most of my version of monster high is based mainly on gen 1 with aspects of gen 3 & ofc my own thoughts. so that’s what i’m going for here. i love meowlodys hair buns in g3 so i wanted both of them to have buns, one up & one down. g3 also inspired the doc martin style boots & using the yarn as shoelaces. i wanted to keep the stripy hair from g1, as well as have them wear the same skirt in different colours like in g1. & ofc the tuxedo jackets styled differently w different tops. as for the tops themselves idk…purrsephones was a bit thrown together based on the tuxedo theme, but for meowlody i knew i wanted a mock neck bodysuit, which didn’t work well w the tux look bc there wasn’t room for a tie. so i gave her a bolo tie type thing w yarn but ehhh. it doesn’t look right. i also knew i wanted each girl to have a different cat toy accessory, & a feather toy seemed like a good choice but i couldn’t think of another. so purrsephone ended up with those like, tube thingies that have holes for cats to play in? those weird things? she has one of those as an arm cuff & at the top of her boots. yeah idk why i thought that would look good. but anyway, i wanted more yarn in the outfits so i gave them yarn belts but it just looked weird!! i made the ball of yarn the belt buckle but it looks so clunky right there in the middle of the waist. they also needed to share more of their colours to look more cohesive w each other.

so for the second design i put the ‘ball’ part of the belt on the side so that the string is hanging down around the hips. & i thoughtit was important for the belt yarn to match the shoelace yarn bc it looks wrong for ver1 meowlody to have orange yarn in her belt & tie but black+red yarn on her shoes.

i eventually decided the structure of their outfits would be bodysuit + partial skirt with different clothes on their limbs. they have silver bands throughout both of them (main belts, boots, meowlodys collar & purrsephones bracelets) each band having studs that match their respective yarn colours. again, i wanted them to accessorize with different cat toys, but looking at the g3 designs i remembered about bells! duh. so i gave meowlody little bells-on her collar, earring, & hanging from her belt- because meowlody is the more mischievous sister & generally when a cat is too mischievous they put a bell on their collar to make it harder for them to hunt. idk why that’s what i thought of but it’s funny to think her parents made her wear bells bc she kept sneaking up on ppl & scaring them or smth 😭😭 meowlody is the softer sister so she got the feathers :P on her belt & earring.

they each have a silver earring & a fish skeleton earring, meowlodys black & purrsephones white. the soles of their shoes also have the design of ribs on the sides, which would extend with the rest of the fish skeleton on the bottom of the boot. the soles are opposite colours to the fish earrings & match their hair, with meowlodys white & purrsephones black, so the very top of their heads match the bottom of their feet. the toes of the shoes also have the shape of the top of a cats head. the fish imagery is also in the centre of purrsephones mock neck bodysuit, with a zipper down the fish spine.

as for the main pieces, both wear short bodysuits. purrsephones is a sleeveless high neck, with her arms covered by detached arm sleeves. meowlodys is a scoop neck with a high neck long sleeve shrug overtop leaving just a bit of space btwn the bottom of the shrug & top of the bodysuit. purrsephones bodysuit is orange with her sleeves & tights being white with black stripes. this is reversed in meowlody, who has a black bodysuit with white stripes with orange sleeves & tights. so their bodysuits+sleeves+tights are different but balanced. one has patterned bodysuit & solid coloured limbs, while the other has solid coloured bodysuit with patterned limbs. i try to avoid using a lot of patterns, bc i find too many patterns esp when they’re close together is just annoying to my eyes & makes everything look super busy. i think one of my mistakes with ver1 was not using any patterns though. i think the mirrored stripe patterns on ver2 are one of the things that rlly brings it together, both individually & as a pair.

+ just extra thoughts, ik their official designs have white stripes on their limbs, but i wanted them to look like real tuxedo cats, whose white patches are usually on the tips of their paws, tip of their tail, & the centre of the face extending down their chest. so those are the markings i gave them even tho it’s hard to see w their feet being covered & most of their hands being covered. also just wanna say!!!!! i just love designing monster high characters!!!! i’ve been doing it most of my life & it’s so incredibly important to me!!!!! that’s why i don’t usually share them lol, it feels like sharing part of my soul. but it brings me so much joy even tho my hand hurts & im sleepy, i rlly need to get better at digital art so that i can post drawings that don’t get ruined by my shitty phone camera😭😭 speaking of which here’s a terrible terrible guy who interrupted the photos:

[tickle-bugs]

@ticklishraspberries tagged me in this a billion years ago and bc i'm literally the worst im doing it late. thank u for the tag lovely!!!

❤️ Newest obsession: no obsessions really!! probably healthy overall lol but i strangely haven't been like consumed by a fandom in a very very long time. i've been enjoying my adventures with superman s2, critical role (surprising no one), dead boy detectives, and dungeon meshi lately tho!!

🎥 Last three movies I watched and what I thought of them:

as much as it physically pains me, i'm gonna skip this one. im a big film nerd and all my friends know what movies i'm gonna see when so i'm nervous they'll ID me on this blog thru my letterboxd LMAO

🎶 Three songs I’ve discovered recently and loved: trying to be original and not talk about anything super popular rn lmfao

Killer Shangri-Lah by Pshychotic Beats (found this through killing eve hehe)

Run Your Mouth - The Marias

Slowly Spilling Out - Saint Motel

💘 Newest Fav Ships: none atm really? eve/villanelle from killing eve comes to mind since i just finished the show. any combination of charles, edwin, and monty from dead boy detectives (and crystal/niko BIG TIME) come to mind. not much in the way of new tho. just my usual bullshit.

📺 Currently Watching: critical role c2 (still lol). i finished most of the shows i was watching atm. might start house of the dragon or the acolyte soon tho!

📖 Currently Reading: haven't read anything in a while :( i JUST redid my bookshelf today tho so hopefully i can change that

🎮 Currently Playing: baldur's gate 3 has my soul and will not return it

😍 Currently Looking Forward To: getting back into writing (hopefully. fingers fucking crossed)

✅ Recently finished: not -technically- done yet but deep cleaning my room! it's done so much for my mental health to redo my space from the ground up :)

💌 Something to share: for the first time in almost a decade im working on a lego set and when i tell you i am healed? whew

tagging @thebest-medicine @fickle-tiction @kourtniwritesagain but absolutely no pressure!!!

[honoredbastard]

ෆ self indulgent and entilted

characters — bonten!rindou haitani  + *yakuro nanami (oc) .

content and warnings   — mentions of drugs ( yo sanzu ), clubbing, stalker mention, mention(s) of drugging, yelling, angst(?), swearing, and so on.

note  — sorry for the dark content hhhhh, it came with the idea of ackerman being a yakuza that hated bonten and wanted yakuro gone. it may actually be apart of the fic i’m outlining..... these men hold my heart and WILL NOT LET GO OF IT. also they just like dive into my brain 24/7. help i had a fit over what looked best for three hours- at this point i’mma probably make a lil sum’ for sanzu. i love this man and i can’t stop having him appear in my stories that involve bonten. like this guy is 24/7 in the back of my mind.

                                         *Yakuro Nanami.                                            he/they/bun! 

                  Now playing ayanami  — by satin

rindou woke up first to yakuro wearing his bunny ears and a bunny pajama set that he seemed to just slip on before marching into bed. it was cute, but there was still smudges of makeup on his face and the dark circles of terrible inconsistent sleep. rindou sighed, brushing away blonde parts of hair that yakuro was chewing on. 

“yakuro.” rindou lightly pushed yakuro’s shoulder, trying to wake the boy in his semi bunny work attire. “rindou? rindou....” yakuro groaned, his head searched for rindou’s lap or hand that he could lean into. just exist near, to feel his skin and be aware of his warmth, that he was alive and not dead. that he stayed the whole night. “morning doll.” rindou smiled quietly, brushing his fingers over the boy’s hair. 

there was a knock on the door, “come in” as if that was a full offer to entangle himself with the couple he busted through the door and made a running start to jump onto the couple. “HI!” “i don’t do the touching, i’ll sit and pour you your drink and be your personal bunny. please treat the bunny well and we will have no problems. if they bunny feels uncomfortable the bunny has full rights to leave and find a new client. if you understand these rules please enjoy your bunny.”

yakuro stated as if he was at work. it was grilled into his brain and always had to repeat it infront of new clients. working at a bunny suit club was not it, almost rolling over onto sanzu. “bad work day?” “bad work day.” rindou confirmed sanzu’s suspicions with three simple  words. “yaku..” “no.” “yakuuu.” sanzu scooted in between the two, poking yakuro’s cheeks aggressively. he seemed sober, thank god. 

rindou shrugged the mans presence off and trudged to the bathroom to wash and whatnot. “you have another shift, ran told me to wake you up. “that’s not my problem. tell my boss to go fuck himself with a dildo filled with nails.” sanzu’s eyes widened, that was aggressive. although at the same time sorta funny?

“he said he’d cut off your shift times and cut back on how much money you make plus tips.” sanzu repeated what ran had informed him of, with a quite frustrated appearance.  “THAT FUCKER WILL NOT!” raising up from his laying position, yakuro ran into the hallway stumbling here and there from improper pace. 

“i’d love to see him try i swear if he even tries reducing my pay i’ll quit the whole fucking job how about that? i never liked this bullshit bunny shit anyways, it’s annoying when the customers try to touch and then you get stalkers.” yaku was mumbling to hell and back from his bosses call, waving to ran who nodded. making himself a bento before heading off on a small mission.

yaku threw open the washroom door and started searching for his bunny suit attire. the club’s theme was rainbow today so he washed a deep red suit with a black add-on tail and clip on black ears (which were foldable too. yakuro always folds one ear.) when yakuro made it back to his room, sanzu was gone and rindou was crouching near the bottom drawer.

“whatcha lookin for?” yakuro asked curiously, sitting beside the man who made a mess beside him “looking for a red suit now, i’m trying to match with you subtly.” cute- that was the only thinking yaku could think of this man who is a part of a criminal organization/gang. who woulda thought?

“i think you might be better with either a red with black tie or a deeper red of a suit.” yakuro suggested, getting up from his sitting position, joints cracking. “or black would go well, after all i’m only wearing red heel, a red body suit, and red makeup. the rest is black!” yakuro called out to rindou who was still crouched as he exited the room. taking into account his suggestions, he went with a more black with red accents attire.

           ާlocation, bunny palace! ෆ             late night, 11pm.

“here in bunny palace we have many bunnies to suit your taste! male, female, and even those who do not define themselves! run and created by the ackermans.” bunny palace is under the hands of those with the ackerman name. mikasa, the current owner, is softer on us than many. although the music blaring is not something you can get used to.

“hello! i’m moonie! it’s so good to meet you, are you new here?” yakuro was tired, it was about 4 more hours until he shift ended and he was already hungry again. salad’s really don’t fill you up especially when you wolf them down. his feet ached and cried out each time he took another step, he wanted to lay down and use rindou as his personal body pillow.... rindou! ‘i hope he’s okay.’ he thought, placing himself beside the very important client his boss claimed. “oh i am! it’s nice too meet you moonie.”

“it’s so good to meet you too! we have a few rules here that our bunnies tell each new client: i’ll sit and pour you your drink and be your personal bunny. please treat the bunny well and we will have no problems. if they bunny feels uncomfortable the bunny has full rights to leave and find a new client. if you understand these rules please enjoy your bunny. please keep touching to a minimal. do not force your bunny drinks or food. respect your bunny. is that doable?” yakuro asked with big puppy eyes, a big smile, and high pitched voice. “of course!” the customer happily said, hand already on his thigh.

i am SO uncomfortable was all that yaku could think about, his eyes flicking between the customer and each place his gross hands laid upon. squeezing every-so often like it was a pleasuring act for yaku. before he removed the man’s hand, he restrained himself. drawing a large breath before responding to the customer. “i’m so sorry sir! shall i get you something to drink?” yaku pouted, “if you’d like, moonie!” i’m saved.

yakuro smiled and stood up, “why of course! i’ll be right back!” like a breath of relief, he rushed to the staff room. he waved to some girls, “not on stage today moonie?” one asked, a baby stripper new to the bunny palace club. “yeah! boss was all: ‘act cutesy, be close, allow touching this once. there are really important customers here today.’ like thanks for threatening my paycheck and then saying that!”

“oh my, that’s rough babe. ackerman is always like that, it’s like she has a stick up her ass.” one of the older strippers that had been with yakuro since he started chimed in, “you’re right!” yaku chuckled, leaning closer into his vanity mirror to adjust his lipstick and have a chance to message rindou. 

40 missed messages. “i’m so fucked.” “why’s that babe?” “i may have forgot to message rindou telling him ackerman added hours onto my shift.” the room grew tense, “that’s awful? read his messages.” sei suggested, “might cool him off if he’s angry.

“alright!” yaku sighed with a smile, opening the messages. to his surprise, rindou wasn’t angry but instead worried that a client had gotten too touchy and triggered yakuro. after all, ran did inform rindou about the bits and pieces that sanzu did not tell yaku. “whew, i’m good! i’m safe. he’s just worried....” sei and bab took a loud sigh and began laughing. “BUT I’M FUCKED.” “really? that’s great! now go out! your client must be waiting.” 

yup the girls took it that way. “i will! don’t worry don’t worry. i just hope sanzu doesn’t buy the whole club.” “he won’t now go!” sei pushed out yaku who glanced over at the client who finished the previous bottle. his nose was red and was slightly swaying back and forth.

walking up to the bar, yakuro ran into polaris. “polar!” “moonie.” “can you get something for my client? he seems to be a lightweight.” “sure, i’m sure he wouldn’t mind beer.” polar sat down the cup he was wiping back and forth to keep busy.

“the bar isn’t very busy huh?” “oh no, it’s just we got our best girls today dancing and the waitresses and working ten times harder. it works out for both of them and neither of them have to fight each other about unfair pay. tomorrow you’ll be our best so good luck.” polar smiled earnestly to add to the words of encouragement, sliding over the foaming beer over the black marbled counter. 

“thanks! i’ll need it.” turning with the drink in hand, yaku noticed the man’s disgruntled face. he looked as if the whole world was going to blow up and he was watching the countdown. ‘act cutesy, act cutesy, act cutesy.’ it was a constant mantra in his head before he sat down and opened his mouth.

“what could be wrong sir?” yaku felt like rolling his eyes into oblivion, he could care less. “oh it’s just something wrong with the gang.” “oh my, a yakuza?” boring, yaku fake gasped handing over the bear to the angered man. “yeah!” he said pridefully with a chuckle, gulping the drink down and slamming it down. “something about bonten this and that and one of our men died.”

now that’s interesting. yaku felt like walking out to just go see sanzu, it felt like everything was reminding yakuro of him. hell even the purple lights were. but alas he was stuck eyeing the entrance while the man babbled on and on about this whole yakuza shin-dig he was in. he decided to slip off his shoes because the waitresses’ assured the man that they would handle getting drinks.

it felt like hours, drink after drink the world became more hazy. yakuro grew a high tolerance because of his job but he seemed to be losing himself while the client seemed more than sober. “you.. slipped somethin, huh?” the client beside him flinched, clenching onto his bag. “w-what? are you sure you don’t have a low tolerance m-mr. moonie?” the man stammered, through gritted teeth yaku managed to huff out a ‘whatever’.

“miss. ackerman set you up? thought so, the bitch never liked me because i have a bonten member for a partner. guess i’m finally leaving this hellhole. send her my best regards, yeah?” he asked with a agitated tone. his words were laced with threats, raising slowly. “mr. moonie?” “i’m leaving, i want to leave. i have to go see rindou.” he dug the acrylic nails that were done just recently into his thigh. fuck the shoes. 

whatever was in the drink didn’t seem strong but it had yakuro in and out of conscience. the man who was once his client seemed nowhere to be found, leaving a stumbling yaku to himself. sei noticed this and dropped her waiters plate, running over to the bunny who was just about to fall. “MOONIE!” 

          ާlocation, the bonten loft.             early morning, 3am.

blue eyes fluttered open, fighting the urge to close once more. “they’re awake! rindou, they’re all good!” a familiar voice echoed throughout yakuro’s head. his body felt numb, in an attempt to speak he noticed his voice was gone. every one of his senses felt like they were being drowned under water. his eyesight was the only thing that was significantly normal.

though his contacts seemed to be taken off, leaving the blue and purple hues of yaku’s true eye colour roaming free. rindou’s footsteps were heavy and had a quick pace, the vibrations went through the bed. “yaku?” his usual docile purple eyes were filled with worry and anger mixed together, forever burning until yakuro got better.

all the man managed to do was a weak smile, his eyes blinked slowly while he stared at rindou. the two conversed, rindou’s agitation growing as his jaw clenched harder with every muffled word sanzu spoke. “i am very upset sanzu, yakuro was drugged. AGAIN!” “we can’t do anything but sit it out! we don’t even know who it was. rindou you need to calm down.” sanzu too was frustrated beyong belief.

the whole loft was filled with tension that was denser than a brick wall. everyone considered yakuro a part of bonten after two years. he even got a bonten tattoo per mikey’s request. it lays on his right shoulder which he covers up during his job with makeup despite his hatred, it was the only condition ackerman gave him before he could work at bunny palace. ackerman and bonten hated each other, seeing a bonten tattoo at the ackermans would start a war. 

“he’s quitting that job and working at our club. this is the last time i’ll EVER see him like this again.” this wasn’t the first time rindou raised his voice when he was angered by the way yakuro looked in this condition. unable to move, speak, only look plainly at the wall with a weak smile here and there.

it tore him apart from the inside out each time, it did every member living in the loft. finally after whatever happened between those two. sanzu left, rindou left as well but returned with water and began to cuddle the numb and quiet yakuro.

[spike-and-faye]

Just found this blog and I'm in LOVE, please give me headcanons on Spike and Faye and their romantic dynamic in the show or what u like abt them most, literally anything I need the Food please bestow upon me your wisdom!! And also I'm so glad to see I wasn't the only one attracted to Vincent sdlfkjsdfk you have such good taste. Have a marvelous day and thank u for this entire blog!! :]

OK UM QUEEN YOU MADE ME CRY. THANK YOU OH GOD.

HEAD CANON TIME SLUTS!!!

Fortunately/Unfortunately for you at some point around 14 years old I emptied my mind of everything but Bebop. Bebop, and breathing.

Photo take circa 2010, inside of Madi’s brain. Colorized.

[Will have spoilers] So some basic headcanons are gonna be really redundant if you’ve read any tags or answers on my shit hole blog but here we gooo:

1. Spike and Faye love the fuck out of each other. No I will not be taking questions.

2. Spike lost a lot of enthusiasm for Julia around the end of episode 13, Jupiter Jazz. At the end of the show, he didn’t go off to save Julia or run away with her. In fact, you’ll notice he’s not particularly happy to see her (ok granted, he’s shite at expressing emotions) and he doesn’t insist on getting the hell out of Dodge together before shit hits the fan. Rather, he’s there to end Vicious and the Red Dragons because Spike knows as long as Vicious is around he will hunt Spike, and he’s not beyond using Jet, Faye, and Ed to that end. Which leads to my next one ...

3. OKAY HERE’S A CONTROVERSIAL ONE - He “died” for FAYE and Jet and Ed and it’s definitely self gratifying SpikexFaye Bullshit ~ in Real Folk Blues when Spike (for the first time probably) gives Jet a look inside his fEeLiNgS we get the story about the Tiger Striped cat and this whole gem:

WHERE, PRAY, IS THE HEAD CANON YOU ASK???? HE IS TALKING ABOUT FAYE MOTHERFUCKERS. It’s about manic pixie dream girl amnesic asian sexy grandma gun play herself. Faye Fucking Valentine. Lady Luck, Poker Alice, Romani. He talks about how he finally met someone who really made him feel alive. (Also he saw that video of her as a child and I think it really touched him. He only sees that bright eyed hopeful child when he sees her now).

But I mean - “someone who was truly alive”???? Literally our exposure to Julia she’s pretty bland. (Dangerously Ordinary). Spike liked her because she was kind to him in a cruel world. But I think when he met Faye he REALLY met someone with vim and vigor and “a woman with an attitude”. THAT is why he’s going there to die. To protect her. (and to protect the little girl on the Betamax)

OH? And immediately after he finished his speech, he says, “She’s back.” and we as the audience and even Jet (it seems) think he ‘wait what Julia is back? okay yeah we know that.’ but then IMMEDIATELY Faye walks in. The SHE is fucking FAYE.

Oh but I ain’t done w this one, baby.

In Ep 15 - My Funny Valentine, Spike meets Faye outsidde at the jail at the end after she collects the bounty of Matsumoto. The following ensues:

FAYE: “Look who’s here. You must really want me back.”

SPIKE: “Yeah. Nice Try.”

FAYE: “You were jealous.”

SPIKE: "In your dreams.”

FAYE: “I'm still in the dark. I may never know anything about my past.”

SPIKE: “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”

FAYE: "Easy for you to say. At least you have a past.”

SPIKE: "And you have a future. That’s what counts.”

OK  there is a lot to unpack here~

- They’re shamelessly flirting. Like the sexual tension is thick enough to cut with a knife. See Heacanon # 1 for further information.

- Spike SUDDENLY doesn’t care about the “Past” anymore? (Note this is two episodes post Jupiter Jazz). Hmm ... like ... idk man seems like you don’t care so much about Julia anymore ...

- He knows Faye has a future; i.e. he can’t take that from her (or Jet or Ed) and therefore he has to end Vicious.

WHEW OK NEXT ONE

4. Spike’s PaAaAsT

My head canon on this is he grew up an orphan in and out of  the foster care system on Mars (we know he was born there) in the streets of the city of Tharsis. From what we know, Spike is about 27 in the show. In Episode 1 - Asteroid Blues, he mentions he’s has the Swordfish II for ten years, meaning he got it when he was 17. Where did he get it though? Especially at 17? Doohan, of course. So at some point as a teenager he went to Earth and was taken in by Doohan as an apprentice, not unlike Miles. My seriously specific headcanon here is that Doohan probably met him in Tharsis hot wiring a car or some shit and also noticed he was a hoodlum bound for trouble. He took him in to give Spike the chance to make something of his life. I think he spent years 14-19 or so of his life there.

After leaving life on Earth he meets Vicious/Lin/Shin/Mao/Annie and, given his moral apathy and hardened street fighting skills, joins the Red Dragons as a hit man and quickly ascends through the ranks. *This conflicts with a less thought out headcanon I have that Annie played a motherly role in his life as a late adolescent*.

I’m not the first to propose this one either, but I’m thinking his affair with Julia began around the time Vicious was in the war on Titan.

5. Vicious is a Toxic Bisexual.

There’s a big chance I’m projecting my actual personality onto this man. I also have zero textual evidence for this one. My head canon here is that Vicious is very gay for Spike but is also fed a diet of Street Tough Toxic Masculinity and can’t express it, and also knows Spike doesn’t feel the same. Yep, he’s sexually frustrated over Spike. Oh god I am definitely projecting.

I think Spike’s betrayal in him sleeping with Julia is such a double edged sword - Spike took his woman AND Spike clearly wants the puss puss not the D.

Sub canon A: Vicious was also attracted to Gren and he felt really weird about it and that’s why he oscillated between being an outrageous asshole to him and also sorta nice

Sub canon B: Entirely unrelated but on the subject of bisexuality ~ Faye definitely was a little turned on by Julia. Listen to how Faye describes her to Jet I mean COME ON.

ANYWAY

I also have many many more that I’ll post or have posted but my fingers are tired of typing and this is already really long. PLEASE let me know what you think of any of these and please message me any you have!!!!!! I seriously eat, sleep, and breath this show. I am in the process of writing a manifesto on it (I wish I was kidding).

[ofcelesticls]

greetings earthlings !! it’s ur resident space mom, saoirse, here and holy FUCK dudes am i JAZZED to be posting this rn !! i’m #blessed….. #honored….. #grateful….. wow. without further ado, i present u all with my dear, darling, dumbass daughter…… KIKI !!

this is going to be less of a bio and more of me popping off abt lucy SO if u want to read an actually cohesive bio go ahead and click HERE !! she also has a stats page HERE if thats the kinda thing ur into !! otherwise… lets go stupid (ahhh) go crazy (ahhh)

welcome to kiki’s delivery service

my MFN WOMAN….. ˚ * ☆ – KIBBY KIKI KIBLER – ☆ * ˚ …. where to begin i dont even KNOW but i will say that this girl? is my queen. the loml. she’s lowkey actually me so i’m biased but i?? love her.

okay. SO. she’s kind of a hardass. there! i said it! she is! but it’s not really her fault! let us dive right on in and see why she is the way she is

so first things first she was adopted and like its never been a secret or something she doesnt talk abt so basically everyone most likely knows all about that if theyre close to her! she tried rly hard in high school to try and find her birth parents ( using her skills she gathered through copious hours spent watching true crime documentaries ) and came up short so that kind of made her like :/

shes super super close w her adopted family though! she’s been with them since she was a baby so like... there’s nothing WRONG w that family dynamic

when she was a lil tiny one her best friend was her grandma who was like…. a super oddball lady and always told crazy stories about ghosts and sprites and fairies and all that stuff but kiki absolutely LOVED it. her parents eventually had her grandma move into a retirement home type of deal when she got rly old and senile and that was super hard on her… which leads into my next point !!

another big thing that defined her life is that she was a SELECTIVE MUTE which developed when she started kindergarten ( which was also the school yr after her grandma left ) and she finally overcame thru therapy around the time she was in fifth grade.

it was through an assignment from her therapist that she and daisey first “spoke” bc in second grade she was still terrible at speaking to other kids n her therapist suggested she tried to write a letter instead as a sort of first step to ease into  things! she didn’t expect for daisey to write back but she did!! and they became “friends” for a while but that ended after fifth grade

once she overcame her anxiety she rly started to FLOURISH as the beautiful little weirdo that she is !! words literally cannot even explain to u what kind of strange this little duck is but she’s also perfect and the only one allowed to insult her is ME.

but then... yknow..... middle school n high school happened and kids are MEAN. so sad. she could talk but she often didn’t because everyone looked at her like she was crazy and she ended up being... more on the outside of things than on the inside.

but also she’s so genuinely good even though she can come across as rly….. brash…. she’s not MEAN but she just doesn’t have the time or the energy to bullshit around with anyone. she’s gonna call it like she sees it and anyone who doesn’t?? on her shit list.

also, by default, she’s not a very trusting person so???? ur gonna be likely to see the more Aloof and Quiet kiki than anything else UNLESS youve proven to her that she can open up to you!

but BE WARNED. if u wrong her.... WHEW, it’s game over! good luck EVER getting her to open back up to you again!

also don’t underestimate her intelligence. don’t do it. ppl try to brush her off as an airhead or an idiot bc she’s….. the way she is…. and says shit abt the prophetic dreams she receives... but she’s also honestly so smart and will go off on u in a HEARTBEAT abt systematic oppression or psychology or politics bc she’s a criminal justice major & psych minor

she loves astrology and so do i so i gave her my bday so that we could have some of the same signs in our natal charts… since she’s literally…. me. ANYWAY. she’s a cancer sun, scorpio moon & libra rising !! which makes her a fundamentally emotional person…. she’s got those water signs across the board INCLUDING her mercury in cancer (which i can best describe as sighing being her preferred mode of communication)

she’s also a big time SLYTHERIN and that’s that on that! thank u!

 i .... don’t have the brain power to think abt wanted plots at the moment but u BET ur BOTTOM i will dwell on it and have some kinda something up tmrw!! but UNTIL THEN !! pls message me (either on here or on discord though i will say discord is preferred) and we can chit chat it out and maybe start to brainstorm some things!!

[daniedoodles]

Danie’s Dilemmas Ep. 26: Books Closed

Today of all days, I’ll Always Remember You by Hannah Montana could not be taken more seriously. It’s the last day of senior year. In spite of how much I anticipated to cry on this day, I actually didn’t, possibly because I’ve thought about it so often for the last two months (or maybe it’s because my last diploma isn’t until this Thursday so really, everyone’s last day is slightly different). I have so much to say, but none all at once. This has been said time and time again, but I feel like for most of high school, we had the tendency to take it for granted; we all wanted to drop out or give up at some point because it just felt like there was nothing about our experiences that implied that eventually, it would get better. All those times complaining about homework or cramming for exams... except now that it’s over, we can’t help but focus on the good parts about it that have also come to an end, most of which were moments spent with friends doing dumb shit lmao. 2019 so far has proven to be one of the most bizarre years thus far. I’ve spent time with people that I never thought I would get the chance to, endured the most UNserious exam season, and now, the most UNserious last day of school. Since I was not remotely prepared to face the last day in terms of taking the opportunity to formally thank all of the people that made high school as fun as it has been, I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and mention them on this episode :) And yes, I will be mentioning names. We’re NOT in high school anymore so there’s no need to play guessing games. 

Vicky: I never know how to start these things without making it sound cringey or sappy, but bitch we have been THROUGH it. Regardless of how we’ve managed to not get into a single class together throughout the entire three years we’ve spent in high school, we somehow managed to stay hella close which you should know by now, I am incredibly grateful for. I haven’t exactly been as active with the group, but that’s only because I know we have all of summer ahead of us to make up for it. Just know that I’m always going to be here to be the voice of reason, but also your partner in crime. We’ve laughed too loud and cried too hard over the dumbest shit, taken bomb ass photos and eaten too much food. I’m so excited for what other dumb shit we can do together. When you’re out on your own adventures, pls text me so I know you’re not dead. I love you, my favourite rat. OwO

Alex: Whew, sis. We came together on the oddest terms, talking about failed love interests and all that bs, but aren’t you glad that it happened? Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had that deep talk at the ridge, wouldn’t have realized how similar we were in terms of how bad we are with gaining closure lmao. I’ve never felt more comfortable to cry as hard as I have about the death of a fictional character as I have been with you, and that speaks volumes because I hate crying in front of other people. Last summer was by far one of the best summers I have ever experienced and I’m grateful to have spent a majority of it with you. Thanks for saving my ass when I snuck out of the house that one time and for staying up and feeding me after I got back from being out until 3am. Now that school’s out, let’s get on that mf tanning grinddddddd. ily bitch. I swear, I feel like I have I lot more to say for you but right now I’m coming up blank. But I feel like you already know what else there is that I have to say... if not, I’m saving it for your birthday (hurry up and be 18 already goddamn). 

Laureen: Laureen you already know we’re on the same wavelength lmao. Even though I feel like I see you the least of all in the group, it’s comforting to know that it doesn’t lessen the integrity (sorry to give u ptsd from the diploma) of our friendship. Being born on days that are so close together really be hitting us different. I swear, there have been so many times where we’re just thinking about the exact same thing, which is both cool and creepy. LIKE OUR GOD TALKS OMF. Seeing that we’re both the moms of the group, we gotta stick together to take care of our crackhead children. But fr, I trust you with everything. My future children, my own life, my phone, my butler ;) How are you not my emergency contact, honestly? We need to have a car talk and see what comes out of that. There is so much more I have to fill you in on. (also don’t forget about clubbing next Thursday eeooow). 

Joscelynn: Let me tell you, Joscelynn, how big of a blessing it is to have you live so close to me. Out of everything that you’ve done for me, I think the one I’m most grateful for is for the time that you “broke” into my house to check if I unplugged my straightener LMAOO... or that time when you just hugged me while I was breaking down in the washroom at the end of the day where I had a test for all four periods. As much as I don’t know who most of your tea is about, it’s nice to know that you’re comfortable to confide in me and the whole group about all kinds of things, even when we don’t ask for the kind of detail you provide HAHAHAHA. Also, thanks for always coming in clutch with all the board games. Much love, Pennywise. <3

Diane: I know we sort of hit a wall with our friendship at one point, but I’m really happy that we were still able to recover from it and rekindle our friendship. I understand that the circumstance is all different now, and we aren’t as attached to one another as we once were back in junior high, but I think there’s some good in that because we were able to grow at our own pace. Although we have to admit that we did grow a little bit apart as well in the process, I like that we are both still able to reminisce fondly on the moments we’ve shared in the past. You’re one of the brightest minds I know :). I feel like I never told you enough but I always appreciated how easily you could bring a smile to people’s faces. Yeah, keep doing it. If you ever need to vent, I’m only a 4-minute scooter ride away. 

Anna: Holy shit sis, idek where to begin. You’re by far the biggest reason why I was able to haul my ass through to the end of high school. If you didn’t look out for my water intake, or the little errors in my calculations... I don’t even want to imagine it. You’ve done so much for me and have had to endure all of my shit that I can’t encapsulate it all into a single letter. I can’t thank you enough for all the memes that have made me piss myself on countless occasions, no matter how old they were nor how often I would look back on it, for recommending me to the program that will finally release me from the constraints of the status of being a “broke ass bitch”, for staying up with me discussing all kinds of things from the environment and ethics, to fortunes, astrology, love, and TEA. We’ve both seen each other at our most vulnerable and beaten down state (which is literally every English class), and we’ve celebrated each other’s triumphs, but most importantly, laughed at our failures (English, again omg). I can’t help but get emotional whenever I think of how you’re gonna be leaving soon for UBC, but it’s not like that’s going to affect how often we keep in touch anyways lol. We can’t just have the kettle always overflow, you know? Fr tho, I’m big fucking sad about you leaving, but I’m also so proud of how far you’ve come. I really don’t know how tf I’m supposed to be able to cope with suddenly not seeing you everyday. Ugh, ew I’m crying now but as I was saying, thank you for everything. I can’t wait to get those dream recorders out on the market after we’ve gathered all the knowledge on neuro/psych and business so we don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night and write out the dreams in our notes anymore. I’ll miss you a fuck ton ON GOD. 

Cheyenne: Cheyenne!! I’m so glad I met you and Anna when I did :)) we made the best chemistry lab group, we basically made titration our mf bitch. There was always so much comfort in knowing that we were all on the same page about not getting assignments done on time for English lmao. You just hear that sigh of absolute relief. I’m happy to have become close enough with you for you to be able to trust me with all the stuff you’ve spilt, and for reading your cards when you need them read. I can’t wait for all of us to actually do shit together this summer, I don’t even understand how we let the summers prior pass us like that. In all seriousness though, Cheyenne, you’re so kind and genuine, I’m glad we’ve gotten a lot closer this year. After summer, I guess I’ll be seeing you around campus!! 

Yuan: Bitch, hay nako. Where to start? I don’t think I’ve ever been quiet OR in a bad mood after hanging out with you. I’m glad that I was able to count on you to distract me from getting any work done in class and for getting photos of mee sleeping. Grabe, nakakabwiset HAHAHAHA. Actually though, I don’t think we’ve been close-close up until recently but I’m still so happy that we are now kasi ang saya mong kasama. Not a lot of people can convince me to speak Tagalog so already that says something. Basta, I’ll keep this short cause it’s not like we’re not seeing each other over the summer. We’ve got a lot of time to make more memories. Pwede nang uminom (thank God). Thanks for all the laughs, and for keeping up with the bullshit I write on this page lol. 

Joaquin: Hey, “best friend” wassup?? We haven’t been close for long either. In fact, we’ve barely just hit the 2-week mark of our friendship. But I will say that that was the most last minute transition from acquaintance - close friend. Even though we’ve been in at least one class together during each of the three years, we weren’t necessarily on active talking terms... until now. Thus far, every moment I’ve spent with you and Yuan, or just you, have all been for the books. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much as I had on that one day that we went to Southcentre. Already I can say that you’re one of the greatest people I know: generous, kindhearted, hilarious, and with a great taste in music. I’m excited for whatever it is that ends up happening in the summer, spontaneous or planned, I can’t wait. :D Ps. Thanks for getting me out of the house lol.

Jay: James, bruh. We haven’t been in touch lately, but I feel like you already know what’s coming to you, considering a majority of my indirects to you are basically just going to get reiterated right at this moment. Always know that I genuinely appreciate all of the deep talks we’ve had in the past and that you’re one of the few people I trust to openly express my thoughts to. I hope everything with tennis continues to go well, and that we get to catch up soon ‘cause lowkey it has been TOO long since we’ve last talked-talked.  

Maxine: Max, by the time you’re back on social media, you’re probably never gonna see this because it’s going to be buried so deep into my feed and I know that you’re too lazy to scroll that far down, but I’m gonna write it anyway. We’ve been friends for awhile now, and only now, in our second semester of senior year, did we manage to get into the same class ever since junior high, and it’s safe to say that there has never been a dull moment with you... to the point where I’m pretty sure we made the teacher hate us. I don’t know why you were so set on saying goodbye today when we literally live in the same community and have each other’s numbers, but aight lol. Max, you really be the OG out here. Every time we talk we can’t help but reminisce on how much we sucked ass at opening our own lockers in grade 7 and to this day it still cracks me tf up. Thank you for dealing w my bs after all this time, and for letting me stay at your place before and after school in junior high. ily  

Jerry and Cam: Y’all we go WAYYY back. Even though you guys didn’t attend school at bob, I still wanted to make a point of thanking the both of you for reconnecting. Plus, this is one of the few opportunities I have to acknowledge the support of my audience (LMFAO) so I thought “why not?”. We’ve only hung out once since February (or March? idek), but that’s definitely gotta change now that we’ve got a lot more free time. Y’all know where to find me when you need advice/opinions/someone to talk to when you’re bored/a tour guide to the boring south lmao (or maybe not that.. I lack street smarts). 

That’s it. I’m also probably going to email my teachers because I did not have the time nor the energy to do anything before the last day of school so that’s how they’re going to get it. Is this what it means to be eco-friendly?? Writing emails instead of actual handwritten cards??? I mean.. okay I guess. 

In conclusion, ending the senior year is bittersweet. If there’s anything I’ve learned from going through it all, it’s that you should get all your shit over with in your grade 10 and 11 years, so you’ll be cruisin by senior year. Also, don’t deprive yourself of hanging out with friends. That shit sucks ass and you’ll regret it a lot. 

ps. just because high school is ending, does NOT mean that this is the end of Danie’s Dilemmas. You really think the tea’s gonna stop there??

For now. 

Keep up. 

x