#thank u 4 showing interest! it means more than words can ever express <:) thank u thank u!

[romanceboys]

(interview) vogue korea april issue 2020 - perfect taemin

1. superm was another chance for taemin’s ever-evolving performance to be showcased. i thought a lot about how to create synergy with these exceptional performers. to put it simply, i wanted us to come off as energetic. but these days i’ve had a change of heart. our identity is definitely important. rather than just working hard, for superm to show off their colours well we need to show our personalities; we should be seen as one team. to be able to formulate a solid and clear colour is our homework. that’s why it’s regrettable. we couldn’t come up with a novel choreography to carry our new identity. we tried a lot in the practice room. superm seems to have found its musical identity but hasn’t gotten a hold of its performance character yet. the stages are too vague. 2. now that you are finally promoting with your best friend kai in one group, you two must’ve shared your concerns. since this friend is someone who has a lot of passion and ambition, he talks about various things. for instance, this style is pretty good, this choreography is quite trendy. thanks to him i’ve learned a lot. he is also very knowledgeable about the latest ‘hottest’ genres. we talk about these things often and even watch videos together. kai gives off ‘popular’ vibes. compared to him, my interests are quite unusual. nowadays kai is interested in music while i am into science. 3. is it science fiction? these days we’ve been watching videos on the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics together. 4. what aspect of it interested you? originally i was very curious, after seeing a recommended video on youtube i learned about quantum mechanics for the first time. i couldn’t understand the explanation, even those who were explaining it said it was a difficult concept. that was very fascinating to me. kind of like magic.  5. are you reading books on the subject too? the subjects of the books i read are different (laughs). there’s a book that was published long ago called ‘regarding the pain of others.’ it is a pessimistic book that gathers contradictory opinions of people for instance ‘people find joy in the pain of others, it is instinctual.’ as a celebrity, there are times when you are criticized but there are also times when you receive comfort from people. rather than blaming others, while reading this book, i began to think ‘people are like that, at most i shouldn’t behave like them.’ my interests are all over the place. 6. what makes you and kai click? we converse well. our opinions almost never clash and we respect each other. moreover, we fully understand our own roles in superm. 7. what position do you hold in superm? since i can’t ask if it’s the main dancer. in pictures and interviews, i’m the center. baekhyun hyung is the leader (laughs). 8. when the conversation wasn’t flowing well during the talkshow interview, i saw you neatly concluding it.  that does happen. nct and wayv are still in the learning phase. that’s why i first listen to all of their thoughts during interviews then flesh it out with details later. 9. compared to when you set out abroad as shinee then promoting overseas as superm now, the status of k-pop has changed. looking at how superm was able to start off with an arena tour in the us and europe made me feel that k-pop is a ‘hot’ topic. in the past, we’d use venues of this scale for smtown concerts. even if you promote mainly in asia, seeing the audience section will make you realise the perception of k-pop has changed. 10. though k-pop’s scope has expanded and diversified, its definition has become simple. what are your concerns? my first concern is language. after i was able to communicate via language during my japanese activities, there were so many advantages. though each country overseas has its own language, i felt that i needed to learn english first. there are many international fans who want to experience the chemistry between our members, they’d feel much closer to us if we communicated using (a common) language. k-pop isn’t one dimensional. it’s not only about the music, there is music video, style, etc. included. people would make dance covers in the past, now they even emulate the styling. all of this is korean pop culture. 11. superm were on the ellen degeneres show and jimmy kimmel live. before we went on the ellen show we really rehearsed the interview a lot. america’s atmosphere is different so you receive questions that are never asked in korea. they don’t disclose the questions in advance either. we were also worried because the emcee could ad-lib. we came up with the most probable questions and practiced, we also received lessons from american comedians. compared to that, we went on jimmy kimmel live without any prep. 12. what went according to plan and what didn’t? the questions were not as intense as expected, ellen was well aware about k-pop culture so it went smoothly. 13. is there a dance genre you’re into these days? contemporary, lyrical hiphop, in the future as superm i think i’ll be able to show more, not the kind of dancing that you do after learning a given choreography but the kind that is full of emotions. it’s about giving meaning to your gestures. it isn’t out yet but my concert vcr features lyrical hiphop. in it i think i’m dancing alone with a giant full moon as my backdrop but get confused when there are two of us, either it’s another person or a shadow. a choreographer with a body type similar to mine had to dress in all black to come across as my shadow. i wore an oriental outfit with smokey makeup. 14. how do you usually come up with your ideas? i get inspired by the choreographers and creative directors. i imagine it as we converse then the idea develops. 15. was there a time you were inspired by fashion? of course. art begins with the five senses. what you see with your eyes, the things you can feel, clothes, food, perfume, music that you listen to are all sources of inspiration. i create private accounts to follow fashion brands. 16. having debuted at the age of 16, you are still young but your work experience has been long. i was in certain situations because of this. it doesn’t happen as often now but even in my early 20s, i completely belonged to the senior category at broadcasting stations. they are my juniors but many of them are also hyungs, i’m their senior but i’m also the youngest. now there are even staff members who are younger than me. they’re too formal with me (laughs). 17. are there juniors that ask you for advice or help? the superm members! especially ten, he is very curious. when we come out of a company meeting, he’ll get surprised and say “wow, hyung everything you said was right.” i even hear things like ‘veteran’ and ‘seer.’ apparently my predictions come true. but i try not to advise them as much. taking the initiative to say something feels overwhelming. 18. born in 1993 between millennials and gen z, do you share any characteristics with those in your age bracket? we’ve picked out a few of their traits. the first one is ‘they don’t eat fast food.’ me too! i took care of my health well ever since i started out with shinee. i was brainwashed from home to avoid foods that harmed the body. not even ramyeon, snacks were also banned. and just like that in my 20s i started carrying out the regime on my own. it’s become a habit to look after my health ever since i moved out. i always eat things that are good for my body, if the hyungs are taking vitamins, i’d ask for one too. 19. i suddenly recall a variety show where you were the only one who skipped the sauce and ate the meat on its own! one should not eat irritable foods. my mother’s words. 20. how about ‘they watch videos on youtube rather than tv. even the ads don’t particularly bother them.’ that’s right. i watch youtube more often than tv, while watching the ads i'd even marvel at their production quality. i’ve signed up for the premium package now so i don’t see the ads anymore. 21. ‘marrying or wanting to buy their own house.’ i currently live alone and i have no interest in decking out my house. at first, i didn’t think like that but a month later my interest dissipated. i’m lazy. it’s not like my house is for others to see, i’m fine with the incomplete feeling for now. 22. and finally ‘they avoid investing in financial companies.’ i don’t do that. my parents manage that, if there’s a good tip i’ll just let them know.  23. hiphop musicians tend to express their success through music. as an idol musician how have you been using the wealth you accumulated all these years? i invest in food instead of saving up (laughs). honestly, i don’t spend much. i don’t have anything i want. though i do spend on others a lot. 24. what kind of household did you grow up in? what gifts did you inherit from your family as a musician? i inherited my body type. all of my cousins have model-like physiques, they’re taller and slimmer than me. my mother sings well. my father plays instruments as a hobby. oh, and my paternal aunt used to be a ballerina. so perhaps i inherited such genes? 25. you’ve been doing the same thing for more than 10 years. what is the purpose behind creating music and showcasing it? in the past, i would think i should do well, i need to be number one, these days i’ve become ambitious for other aspects. i take pride in the fact that my work supplies others with positive energy. i feel a sense of accomplishment when fans like my music, i want to make them as happy as i am. everyone’s profession is different but i hope this synergy gained from mutual dependence leaves a good impression. 26. are you still composing songs? i used to but now i only participate in lyric writing. it differs with each song, at times the lyrics are emotional or talk about abstract love. it seems like my next solo album will include a song i wrote the lyrics to. sometimes songs composed by overseas composers might prove too difficult for the general public to understand. so i participate a lot in the arrangement or mixing phase. i point out the parts that should be added to the composition and those that are unneeded. teacher lee soo man does give advice but it often feels like i do the producing of my own solo album. 27. taemin’s originality is the clearest when he promotes as a solo artist. which song has best represented your identity? i worked hard on all of them but there was a turning point. at first there was ‘danger’ then ‘press your number’ was a conceptual performance, the transition to ‘move’ turned out well. i wanted to break out from the typical choreography routine and create my own identity, the resulting performances were ‘move’ and ‘want.’ my next solo album is again different. i’ve been making a lot of changes these days. 28. you seem to have high standards when it comes to composing music. was there ever an occasion where you absolutely refused to compromise and gave others a hard time? everyone is used to it (laughs). it’s something i learned from the head manager hyung who’s been with me since debut. the belief that ‘there is nothing that can’t be done. there is no such thing as impossible.’ another team manager hyung would tell me ‘you remind me of our head’ (laughs). honestly, the staff around me work beyond their given roles and with affection. normally work timings are from 9 to 7, they stay back till 10-11 pm for me. they don’t hold it against me, and when things do well, they too feel a sense of fulfillment together with me. 29. the new unreleased song must be quite different from the original then.  there are already 12 versions of the song. when i thought we were somewhat done, we recently started arranging it again (laughs). 30. you hold your body to specific standards for the best performance outcome. i don’t ‘bulk up.’ previously, i used to work out when i ate a lot but my body would feel weighed down, it wasn’t what i wanted. if i gain a lot of muscles or become thick, it hampers my dancing form. that’s why i don’t put on weight. i train my stamina and strength and avoid bulking up my shoulders and arms. 31. by the way, do you do neck exercises as well? i was touched looking at your long neck in the vogue photoshoot. i had been noticing this too, now i know the reason! i think it’s because i dance. a lot of resistance goes into the neck when you dance. our head is the heaviest and it’s the neck that supports it. it goes away when i rest for a few days. we’re shooting amidst the superm tour maybe that’s why it looks thicker now.  32. an editor who has been watching you closely for a long time said that you’ve become extroverted. could it be that experience and relationships have made you comfortable and secure? i’ve lowered my guard. i couldn’t reveal my current self to others before. as a child i used to be so introverted that i’d hide behind my mother when strangers would get into the elevator. i changed with time.  33. is your ever-present smile a product of your personality or just business decorum? i’m always smiling. i even laugh at things other people don’t find funny (laughs). 34. shinee members are currently serving in the army. when they’re on break what kind of advice or nagging do they subject you to? i wish they would do that. we have a group chat on kakaotalk and i always revive it by asking “what’s up” “happy new year.” but as soon as the conversation picks up they only talk about the army. when i inform them about an issue at the company they say “really?” then it’s military talk again. when i feel left out and tell them to stop, they reply with “you’ll understand when you get here.” 35. in your career as a musician, when do you feel the best? when it’s time to reveal all that i’ve been preparing for so long! it feels different from finishing it. the first stage after debuting, shinee’s first concert, performing at tokyo dome, receiving the award... these are the moments that come to mind. 36. watching taemin grow for the past decade has been a huge source of strength. what are your dreams now? there are many. first of all, once shinee comes back again, i want the entire group to give off a feeling of revival. usually after getting discharged, it’s hard to keep up with the next generation, i want to avoid that. i’ve imagined it all when the shinee members return. second, i want to perform a lot on various stages as a solo artist. superm topped the billboard 200 album chart, it’d be nice to enter the top 10 on the hot 100 digital chart as well.  37. you are really talented at setting goals. i’ve gotten greedier. it’s just not for myself but i want to do it for the fans and members, even the staff. they become my driving force. i really am lucky. everybody works hard but i even get the recognition for it. come to think of it, i was given many opportunities and i worked hard to make the most of them, i’m really happy my efforts paid off in the end. i’m surrounded by good people. shinee, superm, many people fill in the gaps for me that i can’t solve on my own. 38. superm’s concert title is ‘we are the future.’ when you hear the word ‘future’ what are you reminded of? first, it’s h.o.t. (laughs). future-oriented things come to mind like artificial intelligence, drones, 3d hologram concerts. then again, in the future, though people might be able to watch concerts through holograms, i think humans will not give up on the tasks they themselves can do. my work will still be the same in the future. 39. the reason you don’t write anything on instagram. i don’t have anything to say yet (laughs). i don’t know if i should make my instagram cool or approachable. when fretting between writing a caption or using an emoticon, i just end up leaving it blank. actually i signed up after my manager hyung suggested that instagram would be good. so i’ve made one but i still don’t know what to upload. i get teased by the people around me for putting up selfies. i even took lots of pictures especially for instagram but... 40. did you not post the pictures? the point of instagram is real-time communication. is that so! i didn’t know (laughs).

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

[jungwnn]

Hiiiii😚 i wanna request for a ship with txt, enhypen and bts, thank you soo much for taking the time to do this!☺ I hope you have a good day, stay healthy and take care for yourself🤗

INFP-T | enneagram type 4 | sun: Sagittarius, moon: Cancer | Hate studying anything except English | Competitive when it comes to things I love and am passionate about | Like creative writing and interior designing(basically architecture) | Novels over movies | Even if i watch movies its either action or angst-drama, and always like the evil characters more than the good ones because I'm able to sort of understand why they do what they do, I believe everything has a reason, and every action is a result of something | I also believe in soulmates, love at first sight and all sorts of tropes like these | Obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology and ancient Egypt and just in general medieval eras | Love taking polaroid pictures and traveling | Aesthetic all the way, love being in the nature | I love fairylights and abstract paintings and night walks and stargazing | Love sad things | I'm sensitive to smell and don't like artificial scents | I like going to libraries and museums and cathedrals and old medieval buildings, beaches also and other nature aesthetic places | Always observing little details about everything that other people fail to notice | Easily scared or startled | Have huge trust issues and very sensitive | Have very few friends and am loyal before anything | I'm moved by little things and don't really like much of fancy dates, I like it simple and my favorite would be walk along the beach at night | Am very open-minded and wise but no one's really aware of that | Like disturbing people and then giving puppy eyes | Shy at first but when you get close with me I'm very loud, talkative, playful and annoyingly funny and weird | Just realized it yesterday that i tend to 'huh' a Lot | Clingy with people I am very close to(might even jump and koala hug them tbh) | Everyone's comfort pillar | Very expressive with words and actions | CLUMSY(I hit or bump into something at least once a day) | Love eating (taking advantage of my never getting fat genes lol) but am sort of quite picky | 5'2 - 157cm and I like tall people but I have no problem connecting with people on the shorter side of the height spectrum | Baby voice and baby face | side bangs and dark brown short almost straight hair which reaches just 4cms above the shoulders | Big chocolate brown eyes | Have slightly honey tanned skin | I'm a crybaby too, like if someone I love or care a lot about is getting scolded for whatever reason or they are sad or something then I tend to cry immediately. And while watching or reading sad things too | I do random sounds or actions too and I noticed recently I go 'huh' and 'uh' all the time | sometimes I don't even understand myself like a few days back I was wearing a black sock on my left foot and a white one on my right and then i forgot that i wore mismatched socks so when I noticed it after a while I got fascinated for literally no reason then within seconds i forgot about it again and then when it came to my notice again i got fascinated again and this went on the whole day lmao | My fashion style leans towards boho chic/bohemian and casual | And prefer bare face over makeup and converse over other footwear and dusk(sunset) over dawn(sunrise) but in the album I like dawn ver more🤭 | I love spicy and sour food and have a high tolerance of spice | And my love languages are acts of service>physical touch>quality time>words of affirmation.

YOU SOUND SO INTERESTING AND COOL LETS BE FRIENDS 🙄✋

in txt i ship you with!! Beomgyu !!

pls I can already already see yall fighting over movie chararters😭 I just get the vibe y’all met in a really weird way like he was reaching over to grab a random ass toy and you were too and bam!!! Talking, numbers exchanged. He instantly fell in love with you dude. Like gyu isn’t one to simp but your the exception here. Like dude had a big smile when you responded to his text message. Will he ever tell you that he would bounce up like a puppy whenever he got even a notification hoping it was you?? No. Never. That never happened I swear. There was a time where kai texted and was like “hey soobin said practice in an hour” and gyu straight out texted back “idiot shush I’m waiting” and Kai was just like ??? “...ur weird” basically gyu is literally in love with you from the beginning like it’s insane. That doesn’t stop him from teasing you though. Dude you better stay on high alert this dude is constantly pranking you. They are all harmless but if he ever did hurt you or do something wrong. He will instantly hug you and literally apologize all day and shower you in love. Just finding comfort in each other!! Like he is always there to listen to you talk about anything and just comfort you, He also trust you enough to share his issues! He loves to call you idiot all the time but he says it in the sweetest way or just to tease. He also loves to carry you, it makes him feel super tall ( esp when moas be calling him tiny 😭) also sleepy gyu!! Clingy!!! Let’s say y’all went on a date just a quick ice cream and a walk around the park right, He would look at you and be like “your so pretty~” then you look up and be like “huh? What did you say?” And he would just pull you closer to his side and be like “nothing idiot~” in the same cheeky sweet tone. Then later on that day y’all would just to hang out on the couch cuddled up. He was obviously tired since he was yawning every five seconds. He pulled you against his chest and just started mumbling about how happy he was to have you!! But that’s for your ears only!!

Your overall relationship would consist of:

☼lots and lots screaming like dude is loud but he is expressing his love so it’s okay!

☼movie marathons!!

☼pls don’t use puppy eyes on him he’ll cry at how cute you are

☼let him kiss your forehead and your head he wants to be tall

☼he makes u meals but sometimes they burnt 😣

☼brags abt you all the time like I’m pretty sure taehyun knows your favorite food and your birthday by how much gyu talks

☼he loves listening to you talk abt your interest and fascinations !!

so for Enhypen I ship you with !! Mr.Jake sim!

I just know this boy loves you for your witts bro, like.. how can you be so smart, interesting and pretty at the same time?? Like you completely captured this boys heart!! He loves hearing you talk about Roman and Greek mythology and ancient Egypt!! He thinks it’s honestly so amazing to listen to you speak about your interest🥺 He has this thing, where like whenever you do something cute or he just looks at your face he just walks over and squishes your cheeks. He loves loves loves showing physical affection! He WANTS you to know that you are the light of his life and you make him so so happy!! He talks abt Layla to you all the time and even called you her mom like WOAH. Speaking of mom, Jake gives me the vibe he talks to his parents about you!! Like mans is so serious abt you he just adores you!! Dude is so worried about you when you bump into things, like let’s say you accidentally hit a wall. He will be by your side in a second telling you to be more careful them kissing your forehead. He calls you princess 🧍(HAVE U SEEN THAT ONE FAN CALL BYE) he also treats you like a princess as he should. I have a feeling when he can’t see you in person he calls you and y’all will fall asleep on call. like he would be all sleepy and be like “i miss you :(“ and just talk about your guys day and it would be so sweet!! I’m sure you get the idea !! He’s in L word with you hardcore!!

Your overall relationship would consist of!!

☼he always buys snacks for you because he wants his baby to eat well

☼he is a romantic he loves taking walks on the beach with u!! (And Layla)

☼always compliments your eyes !!

☼always gets you flowers or lil things that remind him of you !

☼he has you as his wallpaper!

☼if y’all go see scary movies together he will most definitely try to act tough and protect you but he fails and hides his face in your neck

☼CHEEK KISSES!!!

for bts I ship you with !! Kim taehyung himself !!

okay okay!! I feel like taehyung loves your mind, he loves hearing your side of things and just loves everything about the way you think! He truly thinks your a piece of art !! like homeboy just loves spending time with you and just talking. He is a hopeless romantic like he loves taking you out to dates that mean a lot to both of you! He takes you to art museums and beaches and takes so many pictures of you!! he has a whole folder dedicated to you!! He also loves hanging out with you and your guys friends!! He just wants everyone to know he’s with you forever and ever!! He is the kinda dude to rest his elbow on your head like deadass just to tease you. He takes you to his hometown often because like I said he wants a future with you!! Expect a lot of snacks from his mom because she adores how happy you make him and he is just!! ugh you lucky lucky girl!! He likes to travel with you, like he can be so unpredictable!! dude will sit there and go “for dinner can we get pizza? Also I got us a trip to Paris for my week off” LIKE OKAY WE GET IT YOUR RICH!! But good for you I guess🙄 also matching outfits. He’s buying you a matching beret and your gna wear for that boxy smile idc. He looked at your matching socks and instantly wanted to try and now he claims it’s the coolest shit ever like Yoongi is always like “why tf?? You bought these in pairs?” Like mind your business Yoongi. His baby does it so he wants to do it too !!🙄✋

overall relationship!!

☼kisses on the lips all the time

☼plane ride cuddles

☼ur boyfriend is your professional photographer

☼pls tell him he’s a good boyfriend he just wants to make you happy

☼always talks to you abt the future <3

☼no joke he has y’all’s kids names planned

☼fun fact.. he bought you a promise ring 😣

a/n aaa!! I hope you like it!! I’m so sorry for the wait!!

[meichenxi]

For langblr asks: 7, 10, 11, 18, and 49

Thanks!! This may get long, so I apologise in advance! I’m learning German and Esperanto alongside Chinese, but since my German is fairly advanced and I don’t really learn actively any more (I just read, listen to talks etc - mainly because I have no reason to actively speak German sadly) and my Esperanto is basic I’ll just talk about Chinese. 

7 -  What are some things that you learned about language learning that really improved your studying? 

- Hands down learning about the role of attention in language learning. In an ideal situation, you are exposed to the target feature, then have your attention drawn to it/figure it out yourself, and are then exposed to it in natural language again. I think we all know the wild experience when you learn a word and then magically the universe provides it - and suddenly you know that word forever. I now like to think of word ‘learning’ as incremental rather than binary: recognising a word in a familiar context, an unfamiliar context, and then finally using the word are all different levels of ‘knowing’ that word. What this means in practice is that I worry less about not being able to use all the vocabulary actively that I recognise passively, because I know once I do use it actively that item will be easier to access. So there are two things here: first of all, that I don’t worry if I’m watching or reading something and don’t actively extract vocab from it, because I know that hearing it will make it easier to remember later on; and secondly, that if I ‘pay attention’ to a word but don’t ‘learn’ it because I haven’t seen it in context, that state of not knowing is temporary. The moment I see it in context - sometimes months later, when I had completely ‘forgotten’ that word - I know what it is. So I don’t stress as much about not being able to remember words from flashcards or whatever, because I know that seeing/hearing them in context is what cements that word, not just repetition. 

10 - What are some thing that you love about the language you’re learning?

Oh my goodness. So many things. I love characters; they used to absolutely drive me crazy, but the ability to read after so long being unable to read now just feels wonderfully exciting every single time. I love learning about different components and how they combine together. I love too that the idea of ‘the word’ is tied so intimately to characters: there are psycholinguistic experiments showing that Chinese native speakers learning English show interference effects when two words are presented in English that have the same component (not even whole character!) and it slows down decision making. I love the way that tone and intonation interact and I love seeing how far I’ve come from not understanding how I could express emotion at all. I love what Chinese shows about the power of the second language learner: it’s incredibly homophonous because of limited syllables even with tones, and it’s radical pro-drop, the more formal you are the shorter/more concise sentences tend to be, and when you’re in a different dialect/Chinese language even those useful initials or finals can change and still you know what is being said. It’s incredible. I love the sound of <q> and <j> and <x> and especially the final <ing>. 

The thing I love most about Chinese is its conciseness and elegance. I love learning about different systems of politeness and register and Literary Chinese is just so incredibly concise: if learning modern standard Mandarin is interesting, Literary Chinese is just...it blows my mind. It’s very unique: and I don’t mean this in the sense of ‘oh look how Exotic and Different’, I mean this typologically: it’s arguably the most analytical language in the world and is regularly used in linguistics papers to exemplify phenomena found in such highly analytical languages. I also think the encoding of order-based pragmatics into actual linguistic implicature is absolutely so cool. 

I love the difference registers it has, and I love that it feels such a good language to moan about the bus being late in and also, you know, that kind of poetry which just takes your breath away. I love how the same sentence can be expressed in different registers and how grammar patterns from literary Chinese can be used in modern Chinese. I love how compounding and derivational morphology work in Chinese (it’s absolutely nuts?? and so versatile??) and I love how names carry so much meaning. I love it for its ambiguity and conciseness and completely *shrug* lack of need to express tense or person because you know, if you know you know.

And from a synesthete’s point of view, Chinese is beautiful too: it’s a crisp clear dawn-like language, cool and misty. 

Finally, I love it for what it has taught me. It’s the first tonal language I’ve ever learnt, and the learning curve has been huge. Parts of it have been massively frustrating (we’ll get to that). I remember the week before I went to China for the first time hurriedly trying to learn some phrases, and I just couldn’t get them to stick in my head. I think I practiced ‘good morning’ about 10,000 times and I still couldn't say it right, or remember it. Languages were sort of my thing - I had taken my German GCSE early, done French and Spanish 0-GCSE in one year each, done three language A-levels (Spanish in five months because I dropped out of another A-level, self-taught German) as well as an extracurricular Latin GCSE. I was cocky!! And so not being able to do it was crushing at first and also just, what?? So learning Chinese has taught me patience, and it’s a useful bench-mark now if I ever feel like I can’t do anything. It’s taught me that you just need patience and determination, and that you'll get there in the end. Genuinely, that’s the most useful lesson I’ve learnt in my short life. 

11 - What are some things that you don’t like / find frustrating about the language you’re learning?

Originally, I found both the pronunciation and characters immensely frustrating. I think I’m over those hurdles, and now what annoys me most is the grammar - and if anyone says there is no grammar in Chinese I may just murder you. Chinese grammar is hard because, as I’ve talked about before, a lot of rests on sentence patterns and a lot of it seems to shift in ways that, say, Spanish grammar doesn’t, depending on context, formality and so on. But the reason Chinese grammar is difficult is again because the categories it manipulates are ones that don’t map perfectly onto what we think is being manipulated. So we build representations in our mind and try to learn structures without realising that a lot of it is patterns, not something set in stone. This includes phenomena like topic-marking, fronting, emphasis and so on. The most ‘grammar’-like of Chinese grammar actually is based in large parts in implicatures and the pragmatic-semantic interface, which is very hard to teach. This is why I think that input is especially crucial in Chinese. 

Also, embedded wh-questions are hard. 

As I’m learning more, though, this is all gradually becoming less frustrating. I don’t want to jinx anything and I still have a lot to learn, but I’m feeling cautiously optimistic that the worst is behind me. Things are making a lot more sense now anyway!!!

18 - Have you had any conversations with natives of your target language/s? How did that go?

Haha, of course. I lived in China for six months and then visited again for two months. I also work as an English teacher online and have a lot of Chinese students. I also sometimes chat with other Chinese students in the German classes I was taking. I’m really excited though to go back to China though now that I’m a little bit better and see how I can improve from there!!! I feel like last time I wasn’t really at a good enough level to improve quickly; I think this time would be really hard, but I can communicate well enough that I hope people wouldn’t switch back to English. 

One of the problems I have always had though has been that my pronunciation sounded better than my knowledge of the language - because of immersion. So people always assumed I understood way more than I actually did which was always terrible because I never knew wtf was going on. 

One really really nice conversation I had recently: in my English class, a young girl’s mother asked if I could explain the present simple vs present continuous to her daughter...in Chinese. And regardless of what nonsense I said, the little girl understood! Ahhhh that warm glowy feeling of human connection and accomplishment. 

49 - What are your language goals for 2021?

Since I’m learning quite intensively at the moment, these goals will be appropriately intense. Gulp. 

1) Pass HSK5 (March). This is my biggest goal, and the first time I’ve ever worked towards a language exam so I’m a little nervous. I think it’s do-able (especially with the help of the course that I’m taking, HSK Online), but still large enough to be scary. 

2) Be able to write all words up to HSK5 by hand (July). I have a little more time for this one - normally I don’t think handwriting is particularly important, but since I’m going to be studying in a Chinese university next year with the dreaded 听写 I need to be able to do it. They sort you into groups depending on your exam results, and if I can’t handwrite more than 我 then I’m not going to get very far. How do I plan on achieving this? I’m planning maybe on buying a subscription to Skritter again and working through (I really like them), but most importantly, just handwriting freely in a notebook and building up the habit. 

3) Be able to read at the same speed as the subtitles. I know, I know, most people can. But I can’t lmao so let me practice. 

4) Be in a good place to take HSK6 in early 2022. I don’t actually know if I’m going to take the HSK6 exam: maybe not. HSK5 is only important for me because I need it for a scholarship. But as random as some of the words are, it’s a very good benchmark and a useful list. Considering I’ll have from March until the end of the year, and from the end of June onwards I’ll be in a Mandarin-speaking environment (and be in a Chinese university from August/September) I think it’ll set me up well. It’s way too much to do by the end of the year though, so this goal is just to do as much as I can before 2022. 

5) Read the first Harry Potter in Chinese. Guys, I’m not looking to understand the descriptions of the moat or Hagrid’s beard. But I want to be able to read the dialogue with ease, and be able to dip in and out of the book with ease. 

6) Complete my literary Chinese textbook (mid-year). 

7) Be able to watch shows like Streetdance of China without subs. I can watch some shows already without subs, but I often feel that’s more to do with galaxy-brain thinking, ‘reading the room’ and being lazy than actually understanding all the words. Despite shows like the Untamed having more ‘difficult’ vocab, I find them a lot easier to understand than variety shows etc because the audio is extremely clear and not too fast. Watching Nirvana in Fire without subs will have to be a goal for 2022 lmao; no way will that happen by this time next year. 

8) Learn the top 1000 traditional characters and practice reading traditional more. This is not as hard as it sounds: past about the top 500, many of them differ in very predictable ways. 

And here are three long-term goals I have no time limits on:

1) Read MDZS and TGCF in Chinese. Ahhh. The dream. 

2) Read lots of wuxia!!!!!!! All the wuxia!!!!!!!! Be able to read actual books, imagine.

3) Use Chinese for academic research on Chinese dialects and Tibetan languages. This is kind of...my career path...so! 

Thanks for the ask!! 

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

Writing Tips (Pt. 3): Writing Believable and shippable relationships in literature.

Hello friends! First of all, let me say a HUGE thank you for the support on the Kataang post! I worked really hard on it and it means so much to me all the little notes you give it and reblog it! I know it’s not at a huge number of notes, but I like knowing that people took time to read through the endless rant and reblog it! I’m planning on doing another full analysis on Zutara and why specifically it doesn’t work. I’ll make it respectful though as I know that a lot of Kataang fans are REALLY defensive and anti-zutara. I promise I’m not one of those people, and believe that no matter who you ship, your opinions on fictional characters are your opinions and you are FULLY entitled to ship and like whatever you want (as long as it’s not incest or a huge age gap. PLEASE don’t ship that stuff lol. U nasty mfs know who u are.) Speaking of ships, let’s talk about writing them. Writing ships for movies, books, shows, etc. can be surprisingly hard. Writing characters themselves can be hard enough as it is, but writing a pair of characters that fit together like a puzzle piece can feel impossible. Nevertheless, I’m here to make that process a little bit easier. When I’m trying to set up a relationship that’s going to happen, here are some things that I keep in mind to make sure that I and the audience of my writing  ship the characters I have end up together. 

DISCLAIMER before I get a’rantin: I am by NO means telling you how or what to write and am by NO means a professional writer of any sorts. I’m doing this mostly because I write a lot and speak from my own personal experiences with writing and because these are just the things that I found work best when writing my own stories. I also read and analyze a lot of others work on my own personal time, and these are just the details that I pick up on that I find makes a piece of writing effective. With that in mind, remember that writing is and art form, and the beauty of that is that there’s no one right way to do it. Ever. You can read the same thing as another person and interpret it in a completely different and unique way. 

1. Complementary Characters usually work out best. 

This is more than the classic “opposite’s attract” theory, and characters don’t necessarily have to be opposite to be complementary. Some things to think about when thinking of and writing complementary characters:

-Complementary doesn’t necessarily mean complete opposite in every single way. Often times I find it much more helpful to have characters share a common interest in hobbies, upbringing, childhood trauma (that one’s a bit overdone these days), etc. so that they’re not butting heads all the time. Just like yin and yang, theres a bit of darkness in the light and vice versa. To keep the balance harmonious, you can’t have characters be polar opposites and have no common ground. That leads to what many people consider a toxic ship, and will either lead to an unrealistic balance that inevitably leads your characters to be fighting all the time. 

-Keeping common interests in mind, often times the paces where character’s contrast is in their personalities. (Shy and bold, heart and head, bubbly and brooding, quiet and gregarious, etc.) Different personalities often are able to balance each other out and hold each other accountable for their weaknesses.

-Going off of that, one character’s strength is another’s weakness, and all traits are both. A character’s empathy can lead them to be loved by many, but may cause them to starve themselves and drain their cup so there’s none left to take care of themselves. A character’s logic may lend them top of class or calm in stressful situations, but can lead them to be insensitive to others and even their own emotions. Your characters should balance each other out and work well together, and part of this is helping each other grow from their weakness. 

-This one isn't as important, but what I also find super compelling, especially in film and tv shows is when the authors/writers deliberately choose to give the characters complementary color palettes. (I dove more into this on my Kataang analysis so go read that if you’re super interested.) If the character’s look ascetically pleasing together, it makes shipping them a whole lot easier. Focus on orange and blue, yellow and purple, red and green, and any variation of those colors together. 

2. Buildup

Often times one of the biggest critiques of ships that just don’t work out is that there’s not enough buildup or foundation to have a romantic relationship. It seems obvious, but if you’re going to have them end up together, there’s going to need to be some buildup or else the entire relationship will feel wrong and contrived no matter how pleasant you make it. 

Some tips for increasing and establishing buildup:

-Have your otp spend time together as friends first. I personally find that the healthiest and most successful ships are friends before they’re lovers. This is why Kataang specifically works so well, but Korrasami, Romionie, and Liesel and Rudy from the Book Thief are all good examples. If you observe these ships, all of these characters spend time together as friends first. Korra and Asami were able to bond and become friends over a toxic guy (cough cough MAKO) and eventually developed feelings for one another. Ron and Hermione weren’t romantically interested in other people and were friends until they started seeing other people and found out they liked each other. Liesel and Rudy were best friends before anything else and Liesel didn’t realize her feelings until it was too late. 

-Time together. When your otp spends time together, make sure that whatever time is being spent together is time that they both enjoy. No, the activity itself doesn’t have to be enjoyable to both characters, but the time spent together should be. If the characters really aren’t enjoying the time spent together, then it’s never gonna work out. I’ll use the ship that I’m writing as an example. Currently, I’m in the process of writing a third atlas series and we’ll use my characters Liang and Hana. (Yea I used my own name for one of my characters. I think it suits her bc she’s basically my clone, just, she’s the avatar. I’m going to change both of their names once I do more research and can find culturally and historically accurate names.) Liang REALLY loves pro-bending matches. Hana, not so much. She still goes with him to see matches and attends his matches when she can. On the flip side, Hana really loves going to her favorite tea shop. Liang vastly prefers a strong cup of coffee, but he goes with her anyways. Why would they choose to do something that they don’t necessarily like? Because that’s more quality time spent with each other and doing something for the other person. 

3. Romantic Gestures

Going off of my last point, we have the art of romantic gestures. These can range to things anywhere from a hug, to an elaborate firework display, to a locket with both of their pictures in it. Make sure that the romantic gestures are there! It’s gotta be clear that both characters are thinking about one another and consciously choose to do something for the other person. Here are some fun ways to do it:

-Remembering a gift the other character wanted. This one’s cliche but it works, because often times the best way to show affection is through physical gifts and objects. Think coffee from a favorite shop, handwritten notes, that piece of clothing the other has been eyeing, etc. 

-~symbolism~ *add chime here* By that I mean have an object to symbolize their relationship with, like Korrasami’s iconic hair pin or Liesel’s book that Rudy retrieved for her. This way, the readers not only have a visual representation of their favorite ships, but the object can physically link characters together and make a vague relationship full cannon. (I know for sure that someday when I get a tattoo, I want the hairpin tattooed on my wrist, ankle or side of my body.) 

-PDAs. Works best in film and visual stuff, but still applies for everything. I’m talking cuddles, kisses, falling asleep in each other’s arms, the whole shebang. I mean how much clearer can you make it than a pda?

-Love languages. Each person loves in their own unique way. Have characters figure out and learn each other’s love language. It really shows and adds a whole other layer to the cake. This one can make a ship that feels a little bland have more depth and realism, because in the real world, healthy relationships are formed and aided by learning and applying each other’s love language. 

4. Dialogue. This one can be hard to master, but once you do, it’s a breeze. First off, I recommend getting all your ideas out, and editing. DON’T EDIT AS YOU GO! This is often tedious and super annoying, so get everything out first, and go from there once you have a decent amount to work with. Dialogue is tricky, because dialogue in and of itself is meant to communicate and express feelings. Here are some tips and steps to at least get a start: 

a. Know EXACTLY how your characters feel about one another, and make that evident through communication. It seems obvious (again) but this really helps and I find that putting myself in the character’s shoes for a second and really thinking about it helps to decide exactly what they would say in a given situation, especially if the scene you’re writing involves confrontation about feelings for one another. 

b. Dialogue is more than just talking. Body language, tone, facial expressions, etc. are all part of dialogue too and are SUPER important! In the real world, humans communicate through more than just words, and sometimes a playful grin, grimace, crossed arms, or pout is much more effective than a character outright saying something. 

c. Once you’ve written the dialogue out, be concise and smart about your dialogue and pare it down as much as you can. Often times, adding too much dialogue can make a scene boring and flat. Use your words sparingly! The purpose of writing is to covey a story or message and often times this can be done effectively with less words rather than more. The main point in dialogue itself is to provide necessary context and information. Otherwise, don’t use it.

d. Make sure the conversation is two sided. This (say it with me now) SEEMS OBVIOUS, but make sure that both people are talking/communicating. it’s a conversation, not a speech. (Unless it is a speech or declaration of some sort.)

Before I go: A QUICK (Long) PSA ON TOXIC SHIPS: 

The concept of a toxic ship is very common in a lot of literature. Often times writers choose to include elements that may be toxic to heighten romantic tension in a story. While I do recognize that this sometimes may be a stylistic choice, there are MUCH better and effective ways to create tension that having something be toxic. Toxic relationships in my opinion share one purpose, and that is to establish a relationship’s toxicity and ineffectiveness. I don’t recommend writing these into a story unless it’s an obstacle for your characters to overcome, and having a character forgive the toxic actions of another character and still end up with them isn’t the right move because it completely disregards and diminishes the effects of what happened previously.

One of the best examples I can think of is Reylo from the new sw trilogy. I did touch on this briefly in a couple of my earlier posts (The Effect Of Modern Day SW characters and My Tips for Writing (In General) which I highly suggest you go read bc they both took me a bit of time and state the purpose more in depth) but I think I’ll quick reiterate and say that it wasn’t a good choice on the writer’s part to have some of the dialogue be so intense and vicious and then have them end up together. I still like the idea of Ben Solo and Rey together and ship them together out of cannon, but in cannon, it’s the perfect example of an ineffective ship. There was little to no build up, the dialogue was often spiteful and sharp, and it escalated a bit too quickly. I would’ve liked to see more of Ben Solo (NOT Kylo) and him feeling sorry for and repenting for the bad that he’s done before he and Rey end up together. Yes, we’re all suckers for the enemies to lovers trope, but PLEASE make sure to filter out the toxins before boarding your ships and watching them sail. 

That’s it for now! I hope this helps a little when writing shippable characters! I’m always free to rant to and to critique. I’m going to start posting as much as I can, because these guides help me too! Check out my other ones if you’d like to know tips for writing in general and I made another one on how to write characters. 

[phoebehalliwell]

ok, hopping off the Leo train, how about a Paige&Richard that's more than a little off the wall? Paige and Richard are a brief teen fling that ends up with twins. They don't stay together, because Richard's mother disapproves and Richard won't go against what she wants, he's weird about Paige being around his family, and he won't let the girls in his house, but he's a good dad to their daughters so Paige learns to live with it. Fast forward a few years, and Paige meets her sisters and gets (1/2)

 her powers. After the dust settles and everyone's safe, she immediately goes to Richard, because they're raising kids and he deserves to know that her new powers could affect their kids. Only she arrives at his place to find out his secret in the worst possible way: the feud got out of hand and one of the girls got hurt. After she finishes freaking out, Paige tells Richard he's not seeing the girls until the feud is over, grabs her girls and heads for the Manor all "hey meet your nieces, my ex is a witch, we need a place to stay" and they spend the night And she wakes up in the morning to Richard standing on the front porch with his new girlfriend Olivia and a brand-new marriage certificate from Vegas, begging her as a new Charmed One to be the one to break it to their feuding families that they've eloped... 

oh thank god i don’t think i could weather one more leo ask okay word paige richard past torrid love affair let’s talk. okay so i think paige would be like yeah i’m doing what’s best for my daughters bc i’m like a 20yo orphan working a minimum wage job and i’m 95% sure richard is loaded (even tho he’s never even let me in the fucking house 🙄) but whatever richard has a family he has a stable home he’s clearly the better one to raise our kids oof our kids what a phrase man i have kids oh my god i have kids i have richard’s kids that’s weird. that’s weird that’s a lot. and so she sorta. i mean she doesn’t forget i mean those are her kids she just doesn’t let that fact really occupy a lot of mental real estate she’s definitely convinced herself her kids are better off without her like she’s basically a kid herself her sobriety’s still sorta on shaky ground if she’s gonna enter their lives she wants to like enter their lives as A Mom and she’s definitely not that right now. so yeah. as stated. not a lot of mental real estate. until one day she’s brewing a potion with phoebe and phoebe’s like hey can you pass me [specific potion ingredient] and paige is like making conversation like y’know i never really liked [specific potion ingredient] it smells like my ex boyfriend and phoebe’s like lmao was ur ex boyfriend a witch and paige is like 😶. will u excuse me for a moment and orbs into richard’s driveway banging the door on the montana estate like hey it’s paige matthews i know you remember me u better open up that door and let me in or i’m gonna orb in there myself and richard opens the door like did u say orb? and paige is like yeah i did gathering you know what that means were you ever gonna tell me u were a witch? and richard’s like oh my god..... how did you die? and paige is like what no i’m a witch too a whitelighter witch witchlighter if you will now answer my question and richard’s like was i ever going to tell you i was a witch and paige is like yuhuh and richard’s like no i mean i didn’t plan on it look i don’t like being a witch i don’t practice the craft it’s not something i’m proud of do you wanna go talk about this somewhere else and paige is like what does that mean and richard’s like come with me and they arrive at this cute little loft in idk the presidio and olivia’s there with the kids and richard’s like um paige meet olivia my fiance olivia meet paige my um. ex and viola and sebastian’s mom. and both olivia and paige are sorta registering each other like. oh um. hi. nice 2 meet u. when paige’s kids coming running into the living room well viola coming running and sebastian’s chasing after her in his wheelchair bc well he only has one leg and paige is like richard. correct me if i’m wrong but the last time i saw my son he had both legs right and richards like yeah i mean like you should really get to know him he’s a total trooper really creative and paige is like richard what happened to that kid’s leg and olivia’s like you should probably sit down and paige is like richard what happened and richard’s like it was an energy ball it happened when he was one and paige is like excuse me?!?!??! are you fucking kidding me!?!???!?!?!?!!?!? and richard’s like it’s this fued it’s been going on between our two families that’s why i never wanted you in the house or getting too close because it’s dangerous and paige is like IF IT’S SO DANGEROUS THEN WHY DID YOU KEEP OUR KIDS THERE? and richard just sorta blanches bc like she’s right but he’s like i mean i was worried,, or at least i thought that the twins would be witches and i couldn’t just leave you to deal with that and paige is like huh yeah interesting point tell that to our Son who lost a limb before his first birthday! and paige is like i’m taking the kids with me and richard’s like what no you can’t that’s you can’t and olivia’s like we can drop them off at your place at four where do you live and paige is like the halliwell manor and olivia who’s a history buff is like the charmed one’s house and paige is like yeah i mean that is where the charmed ones live so and olivia’s like you’re a charmed one?? and paige is like yeah and richard’s like wait what and then he’s like hey are you saying the charmed house is a safer place to grow up in than my house don’t you guys have demons attacking all the time and paige is like well richard we’ve clearly established that your house is actually very much not safe for children so uh yeah i’ll see you at the manor 4 o clock and paige orbs home and immediately finds piper like hi you’re motherly right and piper’s like okay interesting observation and paige is like do you know how to mom and piper’s like not sure what you mean by that and paige is like idk i’ve never had to be a mom before i’m not sure what i’m doing wait oh actually FAMILY MEETING and phoebe and leo also show up and paige is like yeah so uhh in high school did kinda get knocked up did kinda have twins but i left them with their dad and phoebe’s like the witch ex boyfriend? and paige is like yeah and piper’s like the what and paige is like yeah well i thought that was a good idea at the time but it very much was not the point i’m trying to make is two second graders are gonna walk through that door in like half an hour and piper’s like paige!! blah blah blah olivia and richard end up dropping off the kids the kids r like hey who are you and paige is like oh well i’m your mom nice to meet you and the kids are like cool why is your hair a different color than mine and paige is like oh because i dyed it and they’re like can i dye my hair and paige is like sure man i don’t see why not and piper’s eavesdropping in the kitchen like paige!! and paige is like what having dyed hair is cool besides we should be teaching kids to express themselves paige initially has to orb sebastian up to his room bc well stairs so like step number one becomes making sure the house is accessible to sebastian and leo gets to go back into handyman mode which he’s hyped about and phoebe frickin loves having kids around the house and like. olivia and richard end up stopping by like A Lot bc they did spent the better part of the past decade raising those kids and the twins don’t like fully get that paige is like their mom olivia’s sorta been like a mom figure to them blah blah blah the trio end up all bonding as paige gets the 411 on the feud and richard’s like i mean not to sound fucked up but and paige is like great way to start a sentence and richard’s like i mean it’s fucked up but ever since mutilating a baby the fighting has really stopped but uhh and paige is like there’s a but! and olivia’s like the fighting has stopped but the hatred still runs deep and paige is like oh is that why you two haven’t gotten married yet and they’re like yeah 😔 our families won’t give us their blessing and paige is like oh wait is that like a magical thing like you need that before you can get married and they’re like no it’s just like a normal thing you know so your family will like be at your wedding and stuff (and pay for it) and paige is like well why don’t you guys just elope and they’re like what and she’s like yeah get married and that’ll force everyone to come to the table and then you can have a real wedding later right and they’re like i don’t think that’s how it works and paige is like yeah but you might as well give it a shot cut to like x amount of time later and olivia and richard are like okay we eloped can we please bring in some charmed back up so our families don’t like incinerate us or whatever and paige is like damn i wish i could laugh at the joke but nope so yeah we’ll be there so a meeting is called at the neutral space of the halliwell manor blah blah blah they break the news blah blah blah it does take some mediation which whitelighter leo and psych major phoebe are glad to helm and you know what it mostly gets resolved blah blah blah paige trusts richard again they end up like splitting time with the kids with probably richard and olivia taking the majority of the time at their apartments away from the estates paige is sort of less of a mom that she is like a really cool aunt but the situation seems to work just fine soon enough there’s cousin wyatt to join the mix blah blah blah and so on and so forth

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

[thesurielships]

i want your number tattooed on my arm in ink, i swear

Summary: Rhys has a crush on the mystery girl from the library. He approaches her, and a very awkward conversation ensues. 

Word count: 1.4k

Masterlist

‘Mother’s tits, Rhys. When you said you wanted to hang out, I never thought you meant the library. Is it snowing?’ he asked as he cast a brief look towards the cloudless August sky. ‘Are pigs flying?’

‘Will you shut up? This is a library.’

‘I can see that,’ Cassian retorted. ‘What I can’t see is why we’re here.’

‘We’re here to study.’

‘Finals are two months away.’

‘Six weeks, actually,’ Azriel corrected. ‘And stop that, you’re going to fall and break your skull.’

Cassian leaned forward so that all four feet of his chair were on solid ground. Being Cassian, that motion resulted in a loud bang. People hissed collectively at him to shut up.

‘People are trying to study, Cass,’ Azriel chided, eyes glued on his laptop.

‘I’m sure you are. Rhys, on the other hand, is definitely not.’

Rhysand ripped his eyes away from the real reason he was in the library. ‘I am studying.’

Cassian rolled his eyes. ‘Oh, please. I bet my wings you haven’t read a single word since we got here. Unless you meant you’re studying that girl’s body, in which case my wings are off the table.’

‘I have no idea what you mean.’

‘Oh for the love of - ’

‘Shhhhhh.’

‘I am sick of this,’ Cassian whisper-yelled, gently laying the hand he had been about to slam on the table. ‘Are you gonna keep staring at her like a lovesick teen or are you gonna do something about it?’

‘The only thing I am staring at is this paper.’

‘We didn’t follow that girl here for nothing. So tell you what. Let’s bet. You get her number, I pay for your entire Cauldron damned first date. She rejects your ass, I get your daemati card.’

Rhys bristled. ‘I am not giving you my daemati card.’

Cassian smirked. ‘Get her number, then.’

Rhys stood up. He glanced at her. Shit. She seemed so focused on her laptop.

He slowly made his way toward her table, summoning his nerve, and by any luck, his charm.

‘Hello.’

She looked up, a frown on her pretty face.

‘Is this seat taken?’

She shook her head.

‘Do you mind if I sit?’

She looked at all the empty tables around them, her eyes lingering on the table he had just left, where Cassian and Azriel were blatantly watching his pathetic approach.

‘Sure.’

He sat down, the scrape of his chair too loud in the silent library.

‘So…’

Her eyes were glued on the screen of her laptop.

‘You’re a student here?’ he finished lamely.

‘Yes.’

‘Freshman?’

‘Yes.’ This, she said with vigor, as she grabbed her mouse - she used a mouse with her laptop - and shook it furiously.

‘You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?’

‘I don’t know. The uni we both attend, maybe? Unless you don’t go here.’ Her tone was sharp, dismissive. Rhys felt a blush creep up his neck.

He cleared his throat. ‘Are you… studying?’

‘Depends on how you define studying.’

Rhys perked up at the opportunity. ‘How do you define it?’

‘As not going around to other people’s tables and engaging them in aimless conversations.’

‘Oh.’

Silence. Such an awkward silence. Rhys was itching in his seat. He had half a mind to abort the mission and go lick his wounds elsewhere. He would’ve done just that if not for the very loud snort that reverberated through the library.

‘Shhhhh.’

‘Sorry,’ Cassian whispered, not sounding sorry at all.

Rhys’s eyes flicked back to the mystery girl, who was once again shaking her mouse violently.

‘Is there something wrong with your mouse?’

‘Yes,’ she frowned. ‘It’s lagging. I want to get this character done by today, and it’s. freaking. lagging!’ she punctuated her last statement with slamming the mouse against the desk.

Rhys winced. ‘A character?’

‘Yes. I’m an art major. It’s for my comic class.’

‘Makes sense.’

At this, she finally met his gaze, her expression wary. ‘What is that supposed to mean?’

‘You seem very artistic,’ he said, glancing meaningfully at the paintbrush tucked behind her ear.

‘Ah.’ Her eyes were back on the screen, but the faintest blush colored her cheeks.

‘Don’t worry, darling. It looks good on you.’

‘Thank you.’

Again, silence reigned, interrupted only by the frantic click of her mouse and the frustrated groan she let out every time it lagged.

‘Do you mind if I see?’ he asked, gesturing to her computer.

She showed him her character, and his breath caught in his throat. It was a warrior. Tall, strong, wearing pitch black armor. He had blue black hair, violet eyes, and an insufferable smirk on his face. Two massive, membranous wings loomed ominously behind his back.

It was him. A fantastical, Prythian-y version of him, maybe, but he could’ve sworn it was him. However, as he had no interest in making a fool of himself, he chose not to comment on it.

‘It’s amazing. You’re very talented.’

She smiled, her first genuine smile. It was beautiful. ‘Thank you.’

‘So, you play Prythian?’

‘Not really, but I do collect the cards. The details on them are amazing. Like, here,’ she quickly went through her bag and brought out a deck of cards. She showed him one with a blonde woman and a glass globe. ‘The Morrigan and her Veritas. I just love the Veritas. Do you see how the color subtly changes, and is opposite to the reflection of the light? And here.’

She chose another card, which happened to be Cassian’s favorite.

‘The Illyrian warriors and their legendary wings. Look at how they shimmer in the light, split by a map of veins of gold and red. Backlit, there is a certain ancient and ethereal quality to them. However, in other cards, like Death Incarnate for example, instead of majestically beautiful, they’re pictured as deadly. Pitch black and all encompassing, they do not let any light through. Instead, it is directed upwards, highlighting the wickedly sharp claws.’

She paused.

‘I’m rambling, aren’t I?’

Rhys struggled to hide his smile. ‘No. Go ahead. I have like a hundred cards and never bothered to pay attention.’

‘I have two hundred and three cards. Somehow, I can’t seem to find the daemati one.’

Rhys saw his chance and had every intention to take it.

‘Would you be - ’

‘Rhyyyyyys,’ Cassian’s obnoxiously loud whisper interrupted him. ‘Come here for a sec.’

Rhys rolled his eyes. ‘If you’ll excuse me,’ he nodded apologetically to Feyre.

She waved him away, eyes already back on her screen.

He was going to kill Cassian.

‘What?’ he ground out when he reached his brothers’ table, sprawling defeatedly in his seat.

‘Nesta just texted me u up? It’s 4 in the afternoon! What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

Rhys pinched his nose. Cassian and Nesta’s on and off relationship had always gotten on his nerves, but now he wanted more than ever to smack them both on the head and lock them together somewhere - far away from him - to solve their issues.

‘How in the world - ’

‘Rhys?’ interrupted a purring, very feminine voice. He looked up to find the mystery girl’s stormy eyes on him. ‘Here is the card missing to your collection,’ she said as she lay her hand flat on his chest, then left with a wink.

His mouth dropped open, and remained so as he followed her swinging hips out of the library. He stared at the shelves she had disappeared behind for a long moment before Cassian’s muffled curse shook him out of his stupor.

‘Holy shit, man.’

Rhys looked down at the neatly folded piece of paper in his lap.

00XXXXX

Feyre

PS: Be careful who you stare at, darling. They might just be staring at you back. Also, that was not for my art class.

Tag list: okay so i got very mixed requests and it got confusing. I’m just gonna tag everyone and hope you like it. If you want to only be specifically tagged in one of my works, do say so.

@joyceortiz13 @bailey-4244 @quakeriders @standbislytherin @mariamuses @ignite14 @1800-fight-me @velarian-trash @rhysands-highlady @queenblueoffire @rowaelinforeverworld

[jincherie]

4 o’clock | 02

✩ — pairing: taehyung x reader ✩ — genre: hybrid au, single dad au, light angst, fluff ✩ — rating: sfw ✩ — words: 6.6k+ ✩ — warnings: nothing in particular to note! the usual– a bit of financial struggle ✩ — notes:  a spur of the moment update if you will!!! i hope u like it pls let me know what u think!!! (I will add links later!!)

— prompt: “Why are you crying, It’s only you and me here, Me and you, Oh you”

Even if it weren’t for the two twins that had endeared you so, you were sure you would have eventually been drawn to the beautiful soul of Kim Taehyung, like a planet to its star.

— masterlist || 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05  — posted; 17.05.2019

“y/n, if you didn’t work here and I was stuck handling Jungkook all by myself I really think I’d be insane by now.”

The earnestly spoken words coming out of Namjoon’s mouth, in combination with the deathly serious look on his face, were almost enough to have you spitting out the water you just sipped in an abrupt laugh. Thankfully, you managed to hold the fluid down and swallowed heavily before you let your snickers loose.

“Oh?” you prodded, untying your apron and slipping out of it. It took you a moment to locate the hook as you placed it away. “What did he do this time?”

The tall male let out a sound that was eerily similar to a sob, yet it only had more laughter beginning to bubble and climb your throat. Now that your shift was over for the day, you felt a lot lighter and more energised—especially since each hour of your shift that passed meant you were one hour closer to seeing the two twins that, in an alarmingly small amount of time, had managed to intertwine themselves very firmly around your heartstrings. Tonight was one of the nights you were scheduled to babysit them, and frankly you couldn’t wait—some people might think of babysitting as a chore but honestly you didn’t think there was anything you wouldn’t do for those kids.

“He made a waffle tower for one of the customers that ordered four waffles,” he said, lifting a hand to massage the bridge of his nose. His voice nearly cracked on the next sentence. “A waffle tower, y/n! We don’t do those! Now everyone is asking for one!”

You couldn’t help the snort that escaped you as you pressed your thumb to the scanner and logged off for the day, moving to gather your small backpack and slipping your water bottle inside.

“You know he’s shit-stirring you right?” you queried, meeting your distraught manager’s gaze. “I mean I know he does it the first time because he’s dumb, but after that your reactions are too funny for him to resist doing it again.”

At this new enlightenment, Namjoon let out a long, torturous groan, cradling his head in his hands.

“I’m not paid enough for this,” he sobbed morosely into his palms, shaking his head of wavy hair. “I never ask to suffer, and yet I always do.”

You patted his shoulder to show your sympathy for his plight, and moved past him to exit the backroom. He followed after you somewhat sulkily, likely regretting putting himself on a shift with only Jungkook.

“Oh, y/n is leaving?” Jungkook’s voice broke you from your thoughts, halting in your journey to the exit. He seemed to have just come back from serving a group of students in the corner, the likes of which were staring at him with hearts in their eyes. You turned, watching as it registered in Jungkook’s head that he was going to be alone with Namjoon for the next few hours until closing. A shit-eating grin began to pull his lips and you resisted the urge to laugh as Namjoon sighed.

“Yep!” you chirped, flipping the water bottle in your grasp. “I’m off! It’s been a long day and I’m thinking I might stop for bubble tea or something on the way home. I have a few hours to do nothing before I babysit later after all.”

Jungkook nodded, approving of your plan, and opened his mouth—probably to add something annoying—when he was cut off by the abrupt tinkle of the bell above the door as it burst open. The three of you turned, and you felt your eyes widen at the sight that greeted you.

Taehyung, the man you’d recently grown familiar with and whose children you had now begun to regularly babysit, was standing in the doorway, looking remarkably dishevelled. He didn’t seem to see you, gaze zeroing straight in on Namjoon, and it took you a moment to register the two small forms standing by his feet. They had tiny little backpacks over their shoulders and another matching set of outfits, this time in a fruit-onesie theme; the sight of it made you coo internally before you returned your attention to the situation at hand. Taehyung had come to the café with his kids in tow, but the state of his appearance told you something wasn’t quite right.

The lion hybrid ran a hand through his wild caramel locks, mindful of his ears, and fiddled with the rumpled cuff of his sleeve as he spoke rapidly with a sense of panic permeating his low baritone, “Namjoon, I’m so sorry to burst in like this but I—they called me in to work early, and they’re looking for any excuse they can to drop me I can feel it so I can’t—I can’t afford to—”

Namjoon quickly strode forward, a comforting hand brushing the tall male’s shoulder. Hansol and Haru looked up at their father with concern swirling in their eyes, gazes flitting from Namjoon to their dad then back again.

“Tae, pause for a second. Take a breath,” he instructed, waiting for the hybrid to follow through before continuing. “Now take a deeper one. It’s alright. What is it you need?”

Somewhat calmer than earlier, Taehyung’s features twist into a peculiar mixture of remorse and a plea. “I have to go in, but I have no one to watch the twins until…”

He trailed off, and you had a feeling it was because he observed the regretful expression that slipped onto your manager’s face.

“I’m sorry Tae, I’d offer to watch them for a bit but it’s going to be too busy and I won’t be able to keep a proper eye on them,” Namjoon apologised, sincerely remorseful.

Your chest physically pained at the way Taehyung’s face fell, and you were stepping forward before you could think it through. “Hey, Mr Kim, if you need I can take them early?”

The hybrid started, having not even realised you were there, and you could have sworn his cheeks coloured a little in embarrassment. His hand seemed to reach to fiddle with his hair before he controlled the urge and it dropped back to his side. At the sound of your voice, the kids clinging to his pants and hand whipped around and adopted the biggest grins you’d ever seen. “y/n! Daddy, it’s y/n!”

“I—y/n— I couldn’t—" the hybrid fumbled over his words, accent growing thicker for a moment, his eyes wide as you drew closer and allowed the twins to launch themselves at your legs. Their grip was stronger than expected and the force nearly had you stumbling, but you held fast somehow. You made a point to shoot the stressed father the most comforting and reassuring look you could summon.

“It’s alright, my shift just finished— I don’t mind at all!” you said, quickly shuffling forward and outstretching your hand in a placating gesture while the other was busy scratching behind Hansol’s ears. The little cub purred in delight. “And please don’t worry about paying extra, think of it as a playdate!”

You missed the fond look Namjoon sent the two of you as Taehyung deflated, still looking somewhat hesitant.

“A-are you sure? It is fine, I will pay the extra—” He stumbled in his speech again, fingers fiddling anxiously. By chance your gaze strayed to his fingers and you noted a lack of ring on his left hand before you tore your eyes away respectfully.

“Mr Kim, if you even think of paying the extra I will send it back with these two little angels,” you said, laughing to soften it and ensure him you meant it. You could see the gratitude in his eyes even though he seemed a little bit regretful still.

“I… okay,” he acquiesced, stepping forward. His energy had taken a drastic turn from when he’d first entered the café, now much more sedated—the customers that had turned upon his entry had long since lost interest and turned back to their meal. “Are… are you sure it is okay?”

You nodded fervently, shooing him with your hand and slipping an amicable smile onto your face. “Of course! I’m happy to help, plus I’m pretty sure if it came to it I would die for these kids so…”

Taehyung cracked a smile at that, while the twins by your feet let out horrified gasps. Hansol tugged your pant leg, glaring up at you with wide, watering eyes as his bottom lip trembled. “No, y/n don’t die!”

Sheepish at the fact you should have known better than to say something like that in front of the young hybrids, you rush to perform some sort of damage control. You hush them softly, taking a moment to assure them you weren’t going to die anytime soon before turning to their amused father.

“I got this!” you said, shooing him once more. “Go on, please don’t be late!”

Taehyung adjusted his shirt and took the moment to send you a genuine, appreciative smile that had your chest fluttering dangerously.

“Thank you, y/n,” he said, and you felt every single word and its sincerity. His gaze finally broke from where it held yours to the two kids by your feet, a fond smile unable to keep from rising to his lips. “You two behave, I’ll be back around the normal time, alright?”

The twins nodded, placated despite your earlier slip-up, and chorused, “Yes, daddy!”

You felt the warmth of the smile he sent them. “Okay, well I’ll be off. Thank you again, y/n. I’ll see you later.”

You and the twins waved him goodbye, and as per usual he was gone in the blink of an eye. You felt bad, since he always seemed to be under a lot of stress, always leaving in a rush. You were so focused on watching him go that you didn’t even remember where you were until you heard Namjoon tell Jungkook to go serve customers instead of making faces at the twins like a fellow toddler. Jerking back into the present, you were relieved to see none of the customers had spectated but blushed at the sly, knowing look on Namjoon’s face.

“Don’t say anything,” you warned him, but the male only laughed and turned on his heel to return to the kitchens.

“I didn’t! See you later, y/n!”

Grumbling under your breath at the male, you were brought back to the current moment at the feeling of the two twins by your feet growing restless and tugging your pants.

“Gah, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you two!” you burst suddenly, dropping into a crouch and letting your mouth fall open as you whipped your gaze between them. “Oh my, have you grown taller?!”

They giggled in sync, eyes bright despite the fact they’d had to part from their father earlier than usual.

“You saw us yes’day!” Hansol bumped your arm softly, hiding his face with his free hand in a shy manner. As per usual with anything these two delights ever did, you were immediately endeared. You watched as their tails lashed playfully, ears flicking in anticipation for your speech and deviating every so often at the background sounds of the café.

“Oh, you’re right…” You reached to ruffle the dark golden hairs on their heads affectionately; they nuzzled their heads into your caress. “I still missed your cute little faces though!”

Haru smiled so brightly you were worried that she wouldn’t be able to see from the way her cheeks were all bunched up in glee. “We miss you too, y/n!”

The two of them were quick to shift closer and hug your arms at her words, smiling at you like your presence had made their days. You couldn’t lie, it made your chest glow with warmth and a sense of pride. God, you loved these kids too much already.

You cooed at them, rising to your feet and offering your hands for them to grab; each of them were quick to snatch a grip of your thumb or finger, small hands clutching tightly. “Cute little lion cubs, what did you do today?”

Beginning to lead them out of the café, you listened as they recounted the events of their day so far to you—they went to the park early in the morning to avoid the rush, and then later they’d done some drawing and painting while their dad had a little nap. They were ecstatic at the opportunity to tell you more about their day, and eagerly filled you in on every single detail they could think of.

By the time they ran out of things to tell you, you’d come up with an idea of sorts of what to do in the extra time you were looking after them this afternoon.

“Hmm… how do you feel about ice cream, little cubs?” you asked, expecting excitement but still taken aback at the way the twins whipped to face you with stars of hope in their eyes.

“Love ice cream!” Hansol cheered happily, his r’s still gliding into w’s in a cute manner that was absolutely disarming to your poor, susceptible heart. “Love it, love it!”

“Me too!” Haru joined her brother’s cheers, tugging on your hand to get your attention. “y/n, you like it too?”

You offered her a bright smile, “I do! You know what, I have an idea… but first of all, does your daddy let you have ice cream? Are you allowed?”

You wanted to be sure that you weren’t getting them something they weren’t meant to have or something along those lines, but at the mention of it the twins seemed to deflate a little.

“Daddy get us ice cream but n-not— not lots…” Hansol offered tentatively in response, his sister adding to it with a slightly sad tone. The look that flicked through her gaze was a little too mature for her age.

“Money… ice cream is lots of money?”

Your lips formed an ‘o’ as you nodded in understanding. You got the sense that Taehyung was kind of, well…struggling. It wasn’t in the way his children presented, but in the way he did—you could tell already that he was the type to put his children first above all else, something that you respected, but at the same time… You knew that this city still wasn’t as kind to hybrids as it should be. There are some in higher positions of power, but things like that… it was almost impossible to rise to such ranks from the very bottom where most hybrids start. You knew Taehyung must already face a lot of discrimination for being a hybrid, but a parent too…

You still didn’t know what the deal was, whether the twins’ mother was still around, or what had happened, but you were also very aware of the fact that it wasn’t your place to pry about such a thing. Even so, you knew that if Taehyung was indeed a single parent as you suspected, then it made his circumstances that much more difficult to navigate. Your heart ached for him in that sense.

It ached a little for his children as well—not necessarily because they were suffering (you knew Taehyung was making sure that wasn’t the case), but because you got the impression that no matter how well their father hid how hard things were they still could sense he was stressed.

“Sometimes, ice cream is a lot of money…” you agreed, heart wringing painfully when the two children dropped their gazes, shoulders sagging and ears pressing against their skulls. “But…”

At the sound of that last word, they looked up at you with wide eyes. You paused in your trek down the sidewalk for a moment, swinging your hands where they were joined. You exaggerated your expression for their sake, fighting a smile as they began to look hopeful once more. “For my favourite little lion cubs, I think I know a place where I can get it for only a little bit of money…”

The twins let out simultaneous gasps, scooting closer. You could see the urge to question you fighting with the urge to hold back and prepare for disappointment swirling in their eyes. You waited a moment before asking the question they were no doubt anticipating.

“Do you guys want some ice cream?”

Immediately they burst into cheers and happy screams, jumping up and down on the spot in the very image of excitement.

“Yes yes yes yes yes!”

They clung to you, chanting affirmatives in a mantra of sorts—you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled in your throat in response.

“Alright then let’s go! Hold my hands please, we don’t wanna get lost on the way!”

x     x     x

“Daddy doesn’t like mint ch-choc-choco-let… don’t like it,” Hansol chattered endlessly, taking over the role that usually belonged to his sister as the three of you plodded further along the footpath, recently acquired ice-cream cones in your hands. He paused between words to steadfastly devour the treat lick by lick. “But… he still eat it.”

You chuckled at that, taking a small lick of your own berry ice-cream into your mouth. Haru was too invested in consuming her own cone and savouring each bite to even think of attempting to converse, something you found oddly endearing. It was cute finding out exactly what she prioritised.

The trip into the ice cream parlour had been somewhat… uneventful, contrary to what you’d cautiously anticipated. When you’d entered, and you’d caught one of the patrons giving you and the twins a dirty look, you’d thought there was going to be a disagreement of sorts. However, the second the twins started chattering excitedly and asking them politely and in the absolute cutest and most disarming manner which flavour was best and what their favourite was, any hostility or dislike the server behind the counter might have held for hybrids dissolved for these two little cubs. By the end of it they were going above and beyond for the two cute little kids, piling an extra scoop onto their cones free of charge. The look of complete and utter wonderment as the twins saw the size of their ice cream had made you want to scoop them into your arms and coddle them endlessly. God, you really loved these kids. You think that by the time you were leaving the parlour with the twins in tow, the server might have felt the same way.

It wasn’t a long trip, from your work or the parlour to your home, but the pace you’d set was admittedly a bit of a dawdle. It was a lovely day and you wanted the twins to enjoy it. Even so, you could tell they were beginning to grow a little bit tired from the way their feet started to scuff a bit more and they looked around, searching for something familiar to tell them how much longer it would be. You hurried to soothe them before they could grow upset—not that you thought they’d even kick up a fuss about something as small as that. Not once while in your care had they ever kicked up a real tantrum about anything, and you considered yourself lucky; you weren’t about to push that luck.

“We’re not too far now!” you announced cheerily as you rounded a familiar corner, marking only one more block before you would be reaching the one that contained your apartment building. The twins gave answering cheers and jumped on the spot, a skip entering their steps. You giggled at them, opening your mouth to say something silly and elicit a laugh from them when your eyes caught sight of the grocery store on the corner and you paused, a sudden idea entering your head.

“Hey, sweet cubs, what do you say we go get some snacks, huh?” you proposed, already steering them towards the store opening. You seemed to have chosen just the right time too, since the twins were finishing up their ice creams and shoving the cone ends into their mouths as you spoke.

“Yes! Yum!” Haru cheered as soon as she finished chewing and swallowing the waffle cone she’d forced into her already-full mouth just moments earlier. “Can we get uh… get stawberries?”

At his sister’s words, Hansol let out a delighted, if muffled, cheer of agreement, his mouth too full for him to consider speaking yet. You allowed your gaze to drift down, taking in the ice cream smudged around their mouths with a fond smile and an affectionate throb of your heart.

You guided them into the grocery store before pulling them to the side near the flowers that lined the entrance, hand baskets and small, child-sized carts next to them. You paused, crouching down as you slung your bag from your shoulders and reached in to fetch the small pack of wet wipes you often carry ‘just in case’.

“Absolutely,” you assured her, grinning at the way their whole faces lit up, dark eyes blowing wide and glimmering with excitement. Their little rounded lion ears twitched and swivelled excitedly, tails curling and lashing with restless energy behind them. You tugged them closer by the hand and gently held their face in place one at a time. “But first, let’s get this sticky ice cream off your cute little faces! Don’t want anything else getting stuck there, do we?”

The sheepish grins they seemed to mirror as they shook their heads and allowed you to gently wipe away the ice cream that had smeared over their chins and cheeks—and even Haru’s nose— had you cooing internally. “Did you get it all, y/n?”

“Of course!” you exclaimed, huffing playfully. “I’m an expert at getting ice cream off cute little lion cub faces!”

They giggled softly, beaming at you once you finish up with the wipe. Locating a bin, you disposed of it quickly before returning to their sides and eyeing the small child-trolley next to the baskets. You didn’t even have to ask whether they wanted to give them a go, because their eyes were already boring longing holes into the small metal contraptions. They turned back to you, eyes big and hopeful and tail swishing, and let out loud squeals when you nodded your permission.

Excitedly, they moved and grabbed a miniature cart each, their small backpacks bobbing as they bounced along, pushing them with more zest than you’d ever seen before. It was absolutely adorable, the way they imitated how they’d seen adults shop—they’d push the trolley along and then pause somewhere in the aisle, looking up and surveying the products with a hand on their hip, as in Hansol’s case, or fingers tapping their chin, as in Haru’s case. Then, they would return to pushing the trolley with a shake of their head and continue on, eyes sweeping the aisle. You trailed after them with a handbasket, trying not to laugh at how cute they were acting. You were going to have a heart attack one of these days for sure.

“Okay, how about this,” you began after letting them wander for a while, grinning when they hastily turned their trolleys around and scuttled back to you to hear what you had to say. Hansol, in his baby-blue blueberry onesie, nearly tripped on the loose material gathering by his feet on the way back. Haru managed to save him just in time, bending down to tug his pant legs up away from his heels and then doing the same for herself with the material of her own soft peach themed onesie. You honestly could have wept. You waited until you were sure they were okay and they were looking up at you with wide eyes once more before you continued. “Each of you can choose two snacks to get, one to share and one just for yourselves. Then, I have another idea…”

You’d trailed off, hoping to capture their attention—when they scrambled closer and leaned up to listen better, you knew you had it. “Do you two want to choose something for your daddy, too? It can be a surprise!”

Hansol gasped, bouncing giddily on the balls of his feet. “L-like a present?”

You nodded, unable to contain your fond smile as they let out happy squeals. “Yes, it can be a little present from you to him. Do you want to do that?”

Both twins nodded furiously, rushing back to their carts and waiting for you to give them the go-ahead. Laughing at their eager movements, you gestured for them to go and told them to stay where you could see them. They nodded obediently and followed your instructions as best as they could as they scoured the aisles for something that stood out to them.

About half an hour and several hard decisions later (Haru grew a bit teary-eyed when she had to choose between a savoury snack and some gummies), the three of you were leaving the store with small bags of goods in tow. You’d gone ahead and bought some of the fruit they wanted, so that they could use their choices for some of the other snacks that they didn’t usually get. They hadn’t stopped spewing thanks to you ever since you’d told them they could get what they want, eyes wide in open admiration that they directed your way in between handfuls of snacks both inside the store and now on the remaining walk home. It didn’t take long from the store to reach your apartment.

“I’m thinking we watch something for a little while, and then have dinner,” you said as you arrived at your home and swung the door inwards, allowing the twins to trickle in with their little reusable bags of snacks in tow—you’d let them use your favourite patterned ones when you caught them shooting them longing looks. Your roommate was still absent, and so the inside of your home had remained untouched ever since you’d left earlier in the day. Moving into the kitchen, you pondered what to do for the meal. Usually you just whipped something up, but you’d never really asked what kind fo food they normally had. “What do you guys usually have?”

The twins seemed to be deep in thought as they dutifully deposited their bags on the table, slipping off their backpacks and shoes and placing them carefully and neatly by the door. You cooed softly, their ears twitching slightly at the noise. Hansol turned around first, hands fiddling together and tail swishing slowly in thought behind him.

“Uh… sometimes soup, sometimes meat and veggies.” He reached up to play with a lock of his hair, averting his eyes as he mulled over an answer. “Daddy makes lots of rice food.”

“Eggs and meat!” Haru contributed helpfully, eyes bright and smile wide. “And rice! Sometimes with yummy sauce…”

“Your daddy likes egg and meat dishes, does he? He must eat lots when you have dinner, huh?” you joked, letting out a soft giggle. The smile that had slipped onto your face left just as quickly however, as the two of them paused and shared a look. You turned to Haru, who seemed to be considering whether to say something or not. At your prompting look, she let out an unsure huff.

“Daddy… sometimes daddy doesn’t eat dinner with us,” she said, voice soft as she reached up in a similar manner to her twin to fiddle with a lock of her hair. “Says s’not hungry.”

Your heart gave a sudden, painful clench as the realisation her words prompted really sunk in—Taehyung was going without food so that his kids always had something to eat. You didn’t really know how often, but you knew that even having to do it at all meant that the situation he seemed to be stuck in… was not great at all. Your chest ached at the thought, lungs constricting in your empathy. By this point you were beginning to gather that there wasn’t anyone else in the picture helping Taehyung—if there were another partner, you didn’t think that he would be struggling this much, even with how notoriously cruel society could be to hybrids.

“Hmm,” you hummed in place of speech for a moment as you pondered how exactly to respond in a situation like this. “I see. Well, do you know what his favourite food is? We can make that and save some for him in case he gets hungry later! Adults get hungry at silly times, don’t they?”

The twins nodded, eyes lighting up at the thought.

“They do!” Hansol giggled, running forward with his socked feet thudding happily against the hardwoord. He latched onto your leg again, tail lashing excitedly. “Can we help? Can we? Can we? Please y/n!”

Haru, having clued in to her brother’s plan, hastily rushed to join him in clinging to your leg and bartering for a chance to help cook. “Please! Please! Pleeeeaaase!”

Laughing, you waddled into the kitchen with them firmly attached to your legs. “Of course you can, cute little cubs. What is your daddy’s favourite food?”

They didn’t take long to come up with the answer, chorusing with only a little stumbling, “J-japchae!”

Well. You had no idea what that was, but…

Looking at their big-eyed, hopeful faces and massive grins, you wouldn’t have had the heart to say no even if you wanted to. Alright, it looked like you were going to be looking up a certain dish and maybe making another trip to the grocery store.

Well, at least you had something to do with all the extra time now!

x     x     x     x     x     x     x

Easing into his apartment as carefully as he could with two sleeping toddlers in his arms and their bags over his back, Taehyung did his best to shut and lock the door quietly. A struggle, considering its hinges were in dire need of grease and were prone to squeaking like nobody’s business. He managed though, pushing on further into the house once he was confident the front door was shut and locked up tight. He was almost sweating, oddly enough. Had his kids gotten that much bigger? He didn’t think so, but he could have sworn their backpacks were heavier than usual.

His feet moved with routine ease to the twins’ bedroom, carrying the two small children to bed a common ordeal considering more often than not they were already passed out by the time he picked them up from the babysitter’s house. Not wanting to disrupt them, he didn’t deposit their bags in the kitchen on the way but decided to do it afterwards.

The twins’ room was a bit cool as he walked into it, the air slightly chilly against his skin, and he made a note to check the heating and make sure they were bundled up nice and warm with the window shut. One by one, he deposited them onto their respective beds before quickly slipping them into their pyjamas with practiced ease. One changed, he moved them ever so gently beneath the covers and tucked them in. Usually he would grab a wet wipe and clean their faces, but ever since you started babysitting them he’d found they’d always come home in a clean state and he didn’t need to. He appreciated that, the littlest things you did to take care of his children. It made his chest glow with warmth in a way that he quite frankly refused to decode. He was too stressed to consider dwelling on how your kindness made him feel sometimes.

Dutifully, he gathered their dirty clothes and put them in the hamper, cleaning up their toys so he could see the floor again and making sure their beds were clear as well. Work had been even more gruelling than usual and he was completely and utterly exhausting, joints aching and stomach glaringly empty, but still… he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until this was done. He didn’t want his kids to wake up to mess, he wanted them to start their mornings feeling fresh and awake and without the cluttered feeling mess often brought with it.

Once he’d done the best he could with the room at this hour without waking them up, he moved to the beds and double-checked that they were tucked in. When he was satisfied, he leant down to press a soft kiss goodnight to Haru, and then Hansol’s forehead. His tail brushed the bed as he did so, and he felt his ears shift as he moved back a moment before he registered that Hansol had woken and was blinking, blearily. Immediately, he felt bad.

“Hey, little cub,” Taehyung cooed, struggling to keep his own eyes open. He leaned down, brushing a hand through his son’s soft hair and rubbing the spot behind his ear. Hansol melted into the mattress, letting out a soft, cat-like huff as his eyes fluttered. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

Hansol let out a soft noise, nuzzling further into the pillow and allowing his eyes to close. His small hands grasped across the mattress and Taehyung hastily eased his favourite lion plushie inside his hold—curiously, his son seemed to have inherited his need to sleep with something in his arms.

“Dad,” the small child seemed to be intent on staying awake just a moment longer, despite the fact he couldn’t even keep his eyes open. “We… we got… you pres’nt…”

Surprise and curiosity filtered through him at his son’s soft mumbles, his hand brushing over his head gently once more. Hansol slipped even more into sleep, breathing beginning to even.

“Is that so?” Taehyung asked, voice ever so soft so that his other child wouldn’t be woken. “Thank you, little cub. I’ll open it straight away.”

This seemed to be the answer the little lion hybrid was looking for, as he let out another soft huff and nodded, before burying his face into the pillow and clutching his little lion plushie closer. His voice came out sleepy and slurred, “Wove ‘ou, Daddy…”

Taehyung couldn’t hold back his tender smile as he brushed back the golden hairs from Hansol’s face one last time, giving him another soft kiss to the forehead as he fell completely into the gentle embrace of sleep. Leaning back and hovering a moment to make sure both of the twins were going to remain asleep, at the sound of their slow, even breathing as it reached his flicking ears, he allowed a soft breath to escape him. As it usually did when he gazed upon the two little lion hybrids, Taehyung felt his heart flood with warmth and affection. He loved them more than anything, his little lion cubs. His moon, his stars, his world… in this little haven he’d carved out for them, it was as though only they existed—only him, and them…

Ignoring the slight pang of anxiety in his abdomen at the barest thought of anything to do with his current living situation, Taehyung gathered their little backpacks in his hold and moved to the door, flicking off the light so that only the little kitty nightlight remained to illuminate the space. He left quietly, closing the door a little bit so that the light from outside rooms didn’t filter in and wake them, but still leaving it slightly ajar in case either of them had a bad dream and needed to come find him. Waiting a beat to be sure they were sound asleep, he then adjusted his grip on the bags and proceeded into the kitchen area. He wanted to fill their water bottles up and put them in the fridge for tomorrow.

His stomach gave a painful twinge on the way, reminding him of the alarming lack of meals he’d taken in today, but he did his best to push it to the back of his mind. He didn’t get a chance to get groceries since he was called in early, and the little food that was still in his cupboard was strictly for the twins. He refused to be the reason they had to eat less.

So for now he would bear with it—it wasn’t anything unusual, after all. Times were always tough in some way or another and he was no stranger to skipping meals or going without things so that his kids would receive it instead. It was only what was right, after all. He helped bring them into this life, and it was his responsibility to care for them and make sure they were able to live it well.

Humming softly to himself a tune he’d heard on the radio at work that had since lingered in his head, he plopped the backpacks onto the bench and went about unzipping them. He shook his arms slightly; he could have sworn they were a little heavier than usual.

To his complete and utter surprise, he quickly found the reason why as soon as he unzipped the backpacks. Both of them were full of different little clear lunch bags, filled to the brim with fruit and some little snacks. Absolutely puzzled, he proceeded to pull the contents of each bag out completely. Hansol’s bag contained only fruit and snacks—the brand was one that he recalled the twins enjoying a lot—but Haru’s bag contained fruit in combination with two sets of containers that he was, quite frankly, surprised even fit in the tiny bag. Pulling them out, a slip of paper fell to the bench and he quickly realised that they were full of something that looked startling familiar; clear noodles, vegetables, meat—

His mouth positively watered, and he felt his tail flicking excitedly. Japchae. But where had it come from?

He remembered suddenly the paper that had fallen and, after placing the containers gently onto the bench and ignoring the way his stomach rumbled longingly, reached for the small blue slip. It looked like a small post-it note without the sticky side, folded in half. With fingers that shook perhaps just a little from his exhaustion, he unfolded it and allowed his eyes to sweep over the contents.

‘Hello Mr Kim!

Sorry if this is a bit out of nowhere, but we made waaaay too much when making dinner tonight! The twins really liked it, and they said you did too, so we saved some for you and I put the leftovers in these containers! Please enjoy it freely and use it however you need! There should be enough for all of you.

The twins were a delight as usual. I hope you have a lovely night too :)

—y/n

p.s. some of the snacks are for you too, the twins chose them out!’

By the time he realised that his eyes were stinging, it was perhaps too late. The first tear had already fallen and he hurried to sniff, wiping his nose and screwing his eyes shut to prevent more from falling. He succeeded, for the most part, but still the damage had been done and his chest ached painfully in a curious blend of gratitude and incredulity.

Aside from Namjoon, he didn’t think he’d ever met another human so intent on being kind to him and his children. It was hard to believe and accept, the fact that you were willingly doing so much for him and expecting so little in return. He wondered if you even knew how much it meant to him, all the ways you’d helped him out so far in the little time since he met you.

Sniffling once more, he folded the note up and tucked it into his pocket, before picking up one of the containers and moving to the microwave. For a moment, it seemed the overwhelming stress and weight of the world that usually rested upon his shoulders had eased, and he could breathe.

He wondered if one day he would ever be able to thank you, and if it would ever be enough.

— masterlist || 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

[thewritingginger]

Fluff Alphabet - Mammon

Thank you Anon fo your request you are actually my first request :3

And I’m really glad you enjoyed the one I did for Beelzebub, I hope that you like this one just as much too. ^_^

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A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

- Loves window shopping with his s/o 

- Many dates have consisted of walks around the mall or different pop up shops 

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

- He admires their wallet their adventurousness, likes that they are willing to go along with his wild/stupid ideas and loves him even if it fails.

- He thinks your heart is the most beautiful thing about you, everyday he wakes up still bit surprised that you had found a spot for him in your heart that will never go away.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

- Doesn’t know what to do when he sees you crying but just defaults to asking you what's wrong and cuddle you till you’re ready to talk abut it.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

- He wants a well paying job so he can afford the things he wants but also so he can support you and your future family.

- Doesn’t want you or his future kid(s) to worry about financial stability.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

- He thinks he’s the dominant one in the relationship. We’ll just leave it at that 😂

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

- Very pouty 

- You kinda have to amp him back up to not be 

- but will forgive even if reluctantly especially if he is in the wrong 

- Might be a bit embarrassed to apologize 

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

- He didn’t realize how much he needs his s/o in his life until there was one fight they had that ended up with his s/o storming out with out saying anything

- He made sure that he showed how much he loves and appreciates his s/o after that

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

-  He’s quicker to share or more so boast about things to you 

- Now the more embarrassing things make him more reluctant 

- And if you confront him about something you'll know the truth cuz he’s not a great lier.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

- His s/o kinda helped him become more honest, his record to stealing/ attempting to steal has decreased (not interlay well cuz ... it mammon we are talking about).

- Made him want to work harder to be the man you deserve.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

- The easiest out the brothers to get jealous

- Be one to wrap his arm around you

- Will be mouthy to the person hitting on or talking to you, but more of a bicker than fighting unless comes to that point

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

- Was questionable at first, during the first kiss b/w he and his partner he when in being confident but his true feelings of anxiety and nervousness poked its head out when he accidentally head butted his s/o coming in for the kiss.

- Once the first kiss was done his usual cocky self returned and denied the head budding ever happened. 

- Is a good kisser 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

- A blushing mess

- Still trying to be cool but just ends up making him more flustered 

- Mammon would try and bring it up in a casual, nonchalant way 

- Just slipping it into conversation while you guys were alone

- “Heh, wouldn’t it be crazy if��I loved you?” he scratches behind his neck nervously.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

- Didn't think he would ever get married, “Why would I want to give someone half my money” 

- But that seemed to begin to shift when his love between him and his s/o began to grow and became a bigger part of his life.

- He proposes acting like he's doing you a favor “ Hey, so asking this is gonna seem bit redundant because the answer is pretty obvious but wanna marry me? I mean why wouldn't you, The Mammon is offering to share your life with him.” 

- Even tho he said that, you knew what he was really feeling but was too embarrasses to be ask in a mushy way.

- Marriage w/ mammon is not bad but in the beginning finances and budgeting was a constant discussion but after the first year him and you have figured out a balance you can work with for the most part.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

- Nicknames you have for him: Mam, | Dough boy (dough as in money huh?),| Mr. Money Bags (used to tease him mostly, says he hates it but secretly doesn't), |

- Nicknames he has for you: Babygirl | Babe | My ‘Lucky Charm’ |Goldie 2.0, |

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

- Very tsundere 

- Will say he does stuff for you cause you made a pack with him first and he doesn't trust his other brothers to do it right for you cause he’s “the best at everything.” 

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

- In the beginning he would be a bit shy, playing it off as “well I just don't want to make you guys feel jealous.” and such 

- Once the relationship isn't so fresh he is more relaxed in the act of PDA 

- Not making out on the dance floor kinda relaxed but just Having his arm around you, kissing you a bit in a semi private area.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship. 

- The ability to get into shit but somehow able to make it out of it relatively fine

- IDK I really couldn't think of anything 😅 what do you think?

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

- On a scale from 1-10, Mammon would be clocking in at about a high 3 low 4

- It’s not that he doesn't think to be romantic, it’s just that he doesn't really know what to do (not really his strong suit)

- When. he tries to be suave and romantic he usually will mess up and break something or fall, which in turn will make you laugh 

- When you do he’ll get all blushy and pouty about it but then you kiss him and it is suddenly like it never happened OR like he meant to do that on purpose (we all know he usually doesn't)

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

- Of course he believes in them and they “will defiantly be able to achieve their goals with The Mammon on their side”

- But really, he does support them and tries to help as best he can even tho it doesn’t always turn out right, but his heart is in the right place.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

- Likes to try new things 

- It keeps things interesting

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

- Mammon jokes around a lot and cracks jokes but when it really counts he does try to understand to the best of his ability 

- Sometimes he doesn’t get it but he’ll just try and be there anyways.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

- His s/o really ended up being more important to him than he initially thought would be possible.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

- One time when you and mammon were basking in the afterglow of lovemaking, with your arms wrapped around his torso, his fingers gently playing with your soft locks. Your rhythmic breathing slowly rocking him to sleep, he professes “I wouldn't trade you for all the money in the world! I don't know how a guy like me got you.” Your heart swelled hearing those touching words. Gripping him tighter, you pressing a tender kiss on his chest before drifting off to sleep filled with content.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

- Very affectionate borderline clingy sometimes, loves being tangled up with you in bed talking or watching a movie 

- Never in front of others, especially his brothers so he doesn't get ragged on

- In front of his brothers he just plays it cool, will put his arm around your shoulder, might kiss your cheek or neck

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

- He may not want to admit it but he is a bit needy at times 

- He’ll send them messages “I’m bored, when are you coming back to entertain me?” “How much longer till you’re back?” 

- Any time his brothers or others ask if he misses his s/o he just shrugs it off, but secretly not so hidden secret really misses them and cant wait to envelop them.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

- Before his you Mammon didn't really prioritize relationships, they were just there when he was bored/ needed to be around others that art his bros

- But you, you were different 

- Surprisingly to him you ended up being a person he would give everything for, even his precious Goldie He would cut that bitch in half.

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Thank you for reading my work, hopefully it was at least a bit enjoyable.

To anyone that is reading this I hope you have an amazing day!

And if you have any suggestions of what I should write next just shoot me a message and ill try my best :3 

  💛 ~

[thegreatescape]

SHARE THE LOVE CONVENTION

Here’s what happened at the Share The Love Con in Milan! :) [Sorry for my terrible English lol]

At the con I was in the front row with my friends. It was amazing but at the same time I felt a little bit observed lol Pietro was the first one who greeted me and then Nicholas recognized me ;; 

After the panel, my friend and I decided to take a picture with Federico because he was too beautiful with that blue sweater and when we went to take the picture he gave us a tight hug that I will remember forever. I don't know why but I was more nervous than the previous times... maybe because he was even more beautiful than usual lol 

Then we queued for the Fede + Rocco duo and I don’t know where I found the courage but I showed them a photo in which two people were kissing a girl on the cheek and this happened sdifhoisadpo 

Damn Fede has really soft lips, I cry just thinking about it. I left the room shaking like a leaf lol Then we went to the autographs of Nicholas, Greta and Beatrice. Greta and Bea were a wonderful surprise. They are both so kind and sweet. When Greta saw my drawing she gave me a hug and said ‘thank you’ a hundred of times. She was sooo cute! ;; 

Even Beatrice thanked me so much and complimented me and said “You drew me so hot!” And I was like "Well, you are" haha ​​

Then I went to Nicholas and this happened:

Nicholas: Hi! I'm a big fan of yours!

And I smiled at him sooo embarrassed.

Nicholas: I don't know how to thank you! I’m very tired after a drawing, you draw 10 drawings every day! You're very good.

Then Greta arrived at his table and said: Did you see my beautiful drawing with the pink background?

And he was like: Mine is gray! :(

Me: I made the backgrounds based on the shirt you had in the photos and you always have a black shirt.

Nicholas: I have to do a photoshoot then haha

Nicholas then asked me to show some of my drawings to Bea and when I showed her my Instagram profile she remembered those I had done for her and Greta added: Oh my God you made me the drawing of me and Nini kissing? It's beautiful! ; _;

This is Nicholas’ autograph. He drew me Luchino eating pizza’s crusts LOL

Then we went to the autographs of Pietro, Fede and Rocco and I have to say that this was one of the most beautiful moments of the Convention. When Pietro saw me he greeted me with an "Hello darling, how are you?" And before I answered he said: "Did you bring me something?" And when I gave him the drawing he said: “Oh my God, it's awesome! This is a new one!”

Me: “Well, yes, I couldn't post it before, it had to be a surprise!”

Pietro: “Can I keep it? ;)”

Me: “Sure it's for you! Also, sorry if I tag you on so many drawings.”

Pietro: “It makes me so happy! You drew the futuristic black and white one, the one where I’m in Venice, the one with the flag you gave me last time and ... this, right? (he remembered all of them ; ___;) And then he added: “But you drew Federico more :( AHAHAH”

Then I went to Fede and he said: “I know that yesterday was your birthday so… HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” And he sent me a kiss. I died. Then I gave him the drawing and he thanked me and he looked at me with a pleased smile saying: “What can I write here ..?” And he wrote me this beautiful autograph that I’ve to frame. 

Then, without saying anything, he got up and hugged me and it was a beautiful moment because I didn't want to let him go. Maybe that was the best hug- not only because it lasted longer but because I could tell him how grateful I was for everything.

Then I went to Rocco and he greeted me with a big smile saying: “Hello Giulia, how are you ?!” And I was actually dying inside so I immediately gave him the drawing and he said something like: “Wtf is this a drawing? Oh my God it’s amazing thank you so much” and he showed it to Fede.

Then in the afternoon there were other panels but for those I will make a special mentions at the end of the post.

Then there was Fede and Rocco meet & greet. It was pretty weird because we were all so shy and we didn’t know what to say so they told us something that happened on set during Marti and Nico reunion on the terrace in 2x09.

Fede: “Ludovico told us ‘Kiss!', so we did it. It was so romantic, but when we stopped, I noticed that I had Rocco's snot on my cheek. So I said: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT? THIS IS DISGUSTING! and the atmosphere was ruined.

Rocco: “It's true HAHAHA”

Fede: “I had your snot on me all the time! You were always crying!

Rocco: "Yes, there was an important exchange of body fluids. AHHA”

Then we went to eat the pizza with the cast. The first one who sat at our table was Federico. I was the first one to get the pizza and he said: “Well you're the birthday girl that’s why they gave you the pizza first”. I just smiled like an idiot and he said: “Eat it or it gets cold!"

Me: "No, I'm waiting for you …"

He: “But if it gets cold, it sucks”. (it sucked anyway haha)

Then me and my friends started arguing with him bc Federico claimed that the pizza has to be cut in 8 pieces (and we were cutting it in 4). Thankfully Pietro arrived and supported us and told Fede: “Stop being so annoying” ahah.

After that, there was the most embarrassing interaction that I've ever had with him. We looked at each other and he smiled, so I smiled back but I was too nervous to say anything. Basically we kept smiling for like 15 seconds and it all ended with an embarrassing silence :))))

Then Rocco sat right next to me and he was so… excited? Haha

Rocco: “Did you eat today?”

Me: “No, we were anxious…”

Rocco: “Why? C’mon we know each other now! We’re friends!” (I almost cried, I swear).

Then I showed him a bracelet that my friends bought me for my bday (a heart with the word ‘Sbedemmic’ written on it) and he enlightened and said: “Nooo! Oh my god! Sbedemmic !? A-ma-zing!”

Then we asked him how to pronounce “Maxence” and Rocco called him at out table and Maxence rushed to us leaning towards us and we were blown away because he has really beautiful eyes and honestly I didn't even listen to what he said ahaha

Then Nicholas joined us and said  "I want to sit right next to Giulia” (I wanted to hug him ;u;) and we talked about drawings and it was wonderful. Then at a certain point I don't remember what he wanted to ask Bea and he started to call her addressing a girl at the table next to ours and only after a while we pointed out that Bea was sitting on the other side of the room and he was like: “Who was I calling? The girl doesn't even have hair like Bea!” HAHAH

Before he left we hugged each other tight and we  thanked each other for everything.

Maxence is literally an elf. He is nice, funny and he gave me a lot of positivity. We asked him to take a photo all together and he immediately put the glass of wine down because “If my mom sees the picture she gets angry” xD He said he never had the chance to interact so much with the fans at the events and that he thinks it’s amazing to create a bond with us.

Then I apologized bc I tag him on a lot of drawings and he asked me “Wait, what did you draw?”

Before I answered him he started to jump on the chair saying “The raccoon one!?”

Me: “Yes, even the-”

He: “The one with the shirt! Come on, let me see it!”

So I showed him the drawing and he exclaimed: “YEEEEES! THIS ONE! YEEEEES! THE SHIRT!!!”

He thanked me and I closed instagram, but I had forgotten to change my background and I had a photograph of me with Federico.

Maxence saw it and said: “Is that your boyfriend?"

And I said: “I WISH!”

I swear I didn't want to say it out loud, but it was spontaneous. He widened his eyes and literally burst into laughing while I turned RED. I apologized saying it wasn’t my intention to say it out loud but he said that he got that bc he read the panic in my eyes as soon as I realized it, but he appreciated my spontaneity and he said that it will be our little secret xD (then we talked outside and we took a couple of photos, he even chose the poses AHAHAH but then we got caught and the staff told him to go inside xD).

1 December

The second day in the morning we went to the autographs of Robin and Lukas and they both thanked me so much for the drawings (I will never forget their expressions ;;). 

After giving Lukas the drawing he stood up and hugged me tight and he was the sweetest, with his beautiful and kind smile :’)

Then I took a photo with Nicholas 

and a duo with Maxence and Rocco where I asked for a group hug and Maxence said: A POLIPATA ?! (an Italian word that idk how to translate. Obviously Rocco taught him that haha it’s like “hugging like an octopus” lol)

The last photos were those with Federico. When I showed him the photo I wanted to do he made an expression that I will never forget a mix between a smile and ;) and he said: “Uh, today we are in the mood for kisses”. And of course I turned BRIGHT RED :DDD

The last activity of the day was the autograph with Maxence. He thanked me for the drawing and said "You made me a beautiful drawing, so I will also make your own beautiful drawing" and he made a stylized character of me ahaha

At the cocktail party Maxence was the first one to sit with us! He didn’t know what to say so he asked us to do a toast and we all said in chorus 'cin-cin' and he said: "Do you know that ‘cin-cin’ means vagina in Chinese?” Ahah This was the highlight of our conversation.

Then Nicholas and Rocco came at our table and we talked all the time about medicines and reflux lmao We looked like the geriatric department bc they said that all the cocktails tasted like medicines lol 

Then Pietro and Fede arrived, both sooo tired, but Fede greeted us with "Hello rays of sunshine!" And we were literally dying . Pietro said he was worried about not being able to return home because he would have arrived after midnight and he didn't have the keys. "I can't call someone and say "Hi, I'm the guy who lives upstairs" ahaha

Then we talked to Lukas and Robin and they were so cute ;; Lukas is a very interesting person, he has a pure soul and it was a pleasure to know him ;; 

In the end, Bea and Greta arrived and we gossiped a lot, especially about boys haha

Best moments of PANELs:

-Nicholas said his favorite word is Australopithecus Robustus and Greta said "Fregno" (it’s a slang for ‘hot’) xD

-Fede said his Spirit animal is a Golden Retriever and that Martino’s is a fox

-Fede made fun of Rocco because he spoke with metaphors that didn’t make any sense so Fede was like: Enough Rocco, enough! Stop it! THAT'S ENOUGH!

-We made a video for Bea and everyone cried in the room

-THE KARAOKE

-Fede said that Rocco didn’t know how to ride a bicycle and they had to shoot that scene a lot of times

-Fede complimented Rocco and then he gave the microphone to him saying: “Come on, I’m waiting.” Because he wanted to get compliments too haha

-Rocco sat in the audience and asked Fede the story of Bambi and Fede called him “Er Lucertola (lizard)” in revenge and said that the name of Bambi was born because of a toxic (Rocco haha)

-Pietro who answered BOH to all the questions haha

-When a girl mentioned the 4th season (even if we couldn’t) and everyone said to keep hoping and thanked us for fighting so much during these months and then Rocco said: Yes, thank you very much for the support. Without you it wouldn't have been pos— Everyone: ROCCO !!!!! haha

-When another girl talked about Massimo Reale -Dr. Spera- (referring to the photos he posted from the 4th season’s set) and then Bea said: She just wanted to know the name of Dr. Spera and yes, it’s Massimo Reale xD

-Rocco screaming SBEDEM

Here’s some pics I took at the panels :) 

Everything was AWESOME! I miss them all so much ;;

Please if you want to use one of these pics tag my instagram account:  here

[carbootsoul]

i was tagged by @katarahairloopies!!! thank u :mwah:

name: leo! @/zeitgeistofnow on ao3, @lazypigeon & @timetohope on here, altho i’m considering uh switching back to not having an art blog :/ i have to think abt it.

fandom(s): ace attorney is my main one rn bc i’m replaying the games with a friend of mine and it’s reminding me how invested i am in the characters!! a lot of my recent fic is atla stuff, altho i’ve been distancing myself from the fandom bc i’ve kinda exhausted my interest in it. finally i’ve been reading a lot of mp100 fic but i don’t think i’ll ever write for it. i just love how dumb all the characters r (with the dubious exception of ritsu)

where you post: ao3!! tbh i always get suprised when people say they write/read fic on any other platform like i haven’t messed around w wattpad or ff.net since middle school... catch up........

most popular oneshot: going just by “one chapter” as the definition of a oneshot, the firestarters, bc it’s fluffy and modern au :) i wouldn’t necessarily call it a oneshot tho bc to me a oneshot shows like, one scene? so like by my definition and your sweet sweet sun makes me crazy (i wanna lay you down and see how you amaze me is my most popular!! (also @ kit u thought UR fic titles were unnecessarily long??? i’ve hit the ao3 LIMIT for characters in titles. it’s about the aesthetic

most popular multichapter fic: sdkjflakjlkj it’s two crowned kings; and one that stood alone, which is a w359 fic i wrote back in late 2017. it’s literally the last fic i haven’t orphaned from when i actually wrote podcast fic (i have 4 other podcast fics but they were all borne out of nostalgia and written after i stopped participating in the fandom). i rewrote all but the last chapter? the last two? about a year ago and i fucked up halfway through so like chapter 6 and 7 are repeated and there’s something missing but i’m too lazy to fix it. no one’s going to read it now anyway :) it WAS the top minlace fic for a little while tho which i take great pride in.

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh that’s a hard question akfsldkfj i honestly like most of them!! and i write a LOT so there’s a lot to choose from. tonight, we are young is def one of my favorites- it was fun to write and i got to explore the ways zuko and yue r similar, which i LOVE to do outside of a zukka/yukka view. you can lean on my arm as you break my heart  is one that i’m really proud of? the whole “cooking as an expression of bato’s love” is definitely some of my favorites. a lot of my ace attorney fics would be categoried as my favorites if i hadn’t improved, too, if that makes sense. like they’re no long my favorites because i can see where my writing is shitty and it bothers me, but if i had written them a month ago they’d be my favorite.

fic you were nervous to post: figures 1-5: killing gods def!! it’s a lot more purple-prose-y than most of my fics and it was also written before i’d kinda like emersed myself in the atla fandom so i didn’t have as good a grasp on the general understanding of zuko’s character as i do now. tbh it’s one i’m rly happy w tho!! i have a few people leave really nice comments on it and rereading them makes me really happy. also it was the start of me hating the position of fire lord and being at least passively anti-it in my fics.

how you choose your titles: they’re almost all song lyrics!! only 14 of my 50 words AREN’T song lyrics and about half of those are from before i started writing ace attorney fic lol. sometimes i go into a fic with a song in mind for the vibes and then i usually go with lyrics from that (like in ‘cuz we’re the greatest /they’ll hang us in the louvre), but otherwise i usually pick an artist i’ve been listening to and go through their songs until i find a lyric that fits. sometimes the lyric doesn’t even really fit the fic and i just chose it at random or because i searching up the word “fly” in my spotify library or whatever. honestly i like coming up with titles? i know a lot of fic writers hate it but being able to just use song lyrics is v soothing for me and while i know that most people won’t search out a song just bc it’s a fic title like.. seeing that the title of a fic is a hozier lyric does affect how i read it and i kinda like that.

do you outline? i outline my long form/multichaptered fics with varying strictness. usually anything over ~8k will have some kind of outline. sometimes i go into it with every single scene planned out, sometimes it’s just notes on the side of the google doc that say “it's about MORE family. about how it's not betraying your existing family to find more” and “scenes i want to include: [...]” and “vampires... ngl kinda hot.” i’m trying to outline super strictly less bc i’ve found it’s less fun? but i do try to keep a plot arc in mind. since most of my fics are more character-driven than plot-driven, that usually just means keeping track of what character development i want to happen or what is motiviating the characters. 

complete: um everything posted on ao3 i guess. also the MULTITUDE of orphaned fics out there asksfjldkj i always click ‘leave my pseud on’ so if u look up my username you see all of my fics and then a. lot of other ones.

in progress: - a fic titled ‘dad phoenix’ that is actually just a no DL-6 au with defense attorney miles edgeworth and single dad bartender phoenix where neither of them want to date for A While but phoenix gets wrapped up in one of miles’s cases. it’s about family. it’s about writing teenagers. it’s about the background franmaya which is ALWAYS what i’m here for in wrightworth fics - a franmaya werewolf/vampire au because i’m ~gay~ and love rivals to lovers and also franziska and maya both being angry their older brothers r dating each other. - my secret santa fic!! which i can’t talk about much but it does feature toph and zuko and also piandao and jeong jeong???? idk where they came from but they are Part Of The Fic Now also i forgot iroh existed for half the fic and wrote piandao as zuko’s father figure and now i’m in too deep. - a 5+1 bakoda fic (maybe a bato/hakoda/kay fic??? i need to decide. that’s part of why this fic is still incomplete bc i can’t decide which relationship dynamic i prefer) that’s 5 times bato said he loves hakoda and one time hakoda said it back. possibly i have already written him saying i love u back and i need to change the title a little. - retail au klapollo where klavier works at an overpriced boutique and apollo comes in to buy earrings for nahyuta’s birthday. klavier gives him a punch card (one that the store doesn’t actually offer anymore as a bid to get apollo to come back) and all of apollo’s family come in to use the punch card and also give klavier variations on the shovel talk/find out if he’s actually into apollo. - a LOT of atla fics that i don’t think i’ll ever finish :(

coming soon/not yet started:  - i want to write some blackmadhi bc they’re.. cute..... and it’s a good excuse to also write athena and i love her - my stuff for yueki week!!! i have NOT prepped enough but hopefully i’ll remember in time! i wrote the prompts in a way that kinda set up stuff i’ve already wanted to write (don’t look at me lol) so hopefully i’ll get at least two or three fics finished in time. - i want to rewrite the wrightworth fic i have about them not getting married bc it was interesting and i like what i wrote about but i think i could have written it better and made it more interesting. rewriting fics is hard tho bc i’m never sure if it makes sense to just edit in the new work or to repost it? and then if u repost it do u delete the old one? conflicting so i might just not

do you accept prompts? totally!!! a disclaimer tho i’m not super into writing atla stuff anymore (most of the atla stuff i’m still writing is  something i made a commitment to finish) so if your prompt is an atla one i probably won’t do it :/ basically anything else is fair game tho!! podcasts/aa/sa/uh i don’t remember anything else but like if you search a fandom on my blog and come up with more than two posts about it chances r i’d be happy to write fic for it!

upcoming work that you’re most excited about: oh huh i mean probably the no dl-6 au!!! it’s the longest ace attorney fic i’ve written already and since it’s wrightworth it’ll get more attention than any franmaya fic i write. my standards r so high now tho after getting to much feedback from atla fans... love u all... obviously i have no choice but to pressure my atla mutuals into playing ace attorney. pls ask abt it bc i WIll Give You A Sales Pitch about why you’d like it in relation to atla

tagging: i’m not rly tagging anyone!!! @deadflora if you still consider urself a fic writer also consider urself tagged! also any of my other mutuals who write fic i just can’t think of anyone rn

[maks-lawrence]

『 FINN HAYTON ❙ CIS MALE』 ⟿ looks like MAKSIM ‘MAKS’ LAWRENCE is here for HIS JUNIOR year as a BUSINESS student. HE is 21 years old & known to be LOYAL, FEARLESS, BRUSQUE & WITHDRAWN. They’re living in OFF CAMPUS HOUSING, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ 

brace urself its a long one!!!

April 19th, 1999. Winter’s fingertips just barely clinging to the rural towns outside of the city of Kharkiv, a priest opens the church doors to a biblical sight: pink and sleeping, swaddled in worn but clean linens, a baby in a basket. The baby is a boy. He is deemed healthy but still unclaimed, the area is poor, there is tension on the border, another child can be a child too many.

An orphanage in Kharkiv becomes his home. He is given the name Maksim (meaning the greatest, it feels like a joke) and he learns quickly that people are not always kind, that he must look out for himself, and that affection never comes without a price. He becomes half feral like all the children in the home become, mean to survive, with nothing to call their own.

There were two instances of near adoptions, first when he was a baby, barely a year old, but the paperwork never went through. The one he just barely remembers, when he was four and a lovely couple from the UK came to peruse the orphanage, delighted in the tale of how he’d been found. He was returned six months later, the mother in tears at the unmanageability of the child, shocked at how he’d bite and scream in Russian. Maks only recalls the smothering smell of her perfume when she’d hug him too tightly, and the endless stream of English words he did not understand.

He graduated to a boys home at seven, where he grew the closest with the other boys. There was comfort in friendship like that, like the kind of kinship and protection that’d be felt in a pack of dogs. The fundamental understanding of the home was once a child passed the threshold of thirteen they would not be leaving it, just graduating from institution to institution until they were legally old enough to release on their own.

He was ten when the first volunteers from America came to the home with their hundred watt Chiclet smiles, attitudes always upbeat. They annoyed him at first, taking photos of the boys, asking questions in broken Russian, making them practice their English. He didn’t know it at the time, but they were creating profiles for each of the boys, adoption portfolios for families in America. There was one video of a surly faced young Maksim, introducing himself with a thick accent, his eyes darting to the right of the frame. He appears shrunken in it, shoulders caving in and head ducked.

The Lawrence family saw this video and contacted the volunteers. The adoption process is long and expensive, but the Lawrence’s were determined. Within six months and just shy of his eleventh birthday, Maksim was on a plane for the first time, heading towards his new home.

The transition was difficult, Maks was not an easy child for the older couple to handle. He would fight and yell when people came too close to him, a strange child in a strange place. His English was poor, but the words he did know where all spoken angrily, the way an animal growls when backed into a corner.

He could see the love and kindness the older couple were offering him, but Maks felt like he had to continually test it. Explosive, his episodes were violent or cruel, their only intention to hurt. He had to know if they were strong enough to handle him at his worst, or if they’d give up, and he’d be sent back to the Ukraine again. He believed the things that all the children in the boy’s home believed— he was not something worthy of anything, and that’s why he had nothing.

Slowly, thing became better. He got along with the other children more than he did the adults, the comradery of the boys home made it easier for him to find common ground in them. He was in therapy for years, learning how to let go of the damage his childhood had brought, and embracing this brighter one. He proved to be a good student, though stubborn, and was able to catch up to others his age by his freshman year of high school, participating like a regular student.

He’d always had an interest in how things worked, and this manifested in quiet tinkering in the family garage. He’d teach himself how to repair the broken family lawnmower over an afternoon with a few YouTube videos before progressing to bigger engines and machines. He was able to make a small business out of it, earning enough cash in one summer with his small repair service to buy his first car. He threw himself into modding and improvements to the engine, funnelling far too much of his money into making the little blue 2012 Mazda RX-8 an absolute menace on the roads.

He couldn’t apologize to the Lawrence’s for the way he’d been as a child, just like he can’t quite thank them for what they did for him. He loves them, and expresses it in his own quiet ways. He’s still withdrawn, he struggles to reveal what he’s feeling, but he’s the closest with the other Lawrence kids. They share stories of treacherous pasts— a similar understanding that binds them together.

By the time college rolled around, Maks applied to Radcliffe dutifully. It seemed the best choice— close to home and without any real idea of what his future would hold, the best thing to do at the moment. Spending the first year in dorms, he realized that the close quarters and the packed in students were not for him. He moved into an apartment off campus, and though he struggles to make rent every month, has been much happier ever since.

Maks often defaults to being cold when things get tough, and being cruel when they get tense. He races on the outskirts of campus, and gets into fights weekly. He’s always in trouble in some way, usually bruised or battered a little.

He’s a little hard to get there, but he’s a good friend. He cares a lot about people, though he struggles to show it. He’s a little gruff and can be sort of blunt, but he’s an alright guy. That being said, he does stand his ground and will do a hit if provoked :(

some more fun head canons (because I haven’t typed enough):

can outdrink nearly anyone (vodka on the rocks all night long baybie)

almost always has torn up knuckles and a don’t ask, don’t tell system of how he got them

funnels nearly all his money into modded his car and rent so as a result, he’s always broke :)

prefers cigarettes to vaping in the pretentious way that people prefer vinyl

his sexuality is one big question mark and don’t ask him about it he angee

likes to listen music that’s basically just one electronic thrash sesh— its unlistenable but he’s destroying his eardrums with it!!

he dresses very non-descript, can’t afford labels and wears a black bomber jacket basically year round: think cartoon character and you’ve got the right idea

still sees a therapist semi-regularly, begrudgingly going in on sessions to keep his mum happy

cuts his own hair (disgostin I know)

he’s good at racing and fighting because in the moment he doesn’t give a shit; hit it until it breaks. he feels shitty about it after but it’s something he’s never quite been able to explain; it feels good to just go ape shit every once in awhile!

if u made it this far, congrats i honestly commend u, and of course pls hit me up 4 plots etc etc thenk yew

[wraithofthevoid]

Positivity 2: Electric BEEgaloo

@justgot-bamboozled || HOWDY HEY, I named this series of positive compliments after you my boo, cuz you’re cute and funny and make me laugh (and I think it fits the theme a bunch). I’ve had the honour to play with you and hear your voice and my god you’re a precious bean, and I have oodles of fun whenever you’re around; you’ve got that kind of chill banter that I absolutely adore being around. I was gonna give you these cute lil compliments when I first did this and I high key regret not doing it cuz oof, you deserve to hear how amazing you are on the daily. I crave playing and talking with you more cuz you seem like an honest to goodness fabulous person and being your friend honestly feels like a dream come true （≧∇≦）💞💞💞

@smeachthepeach || BOII where do I begin with you??? You radiate chaotic energy and that’s my shit— I still remember the first time we actually met & you did that thing with your stringy instrument (fight me I just woke up from a nap, I’ll remember the name of it two mins after this is posted, just waTCH). You are honestly one of the biggest highlights of my life, cuz you gave me a family and you’ve given me so many stitches in my side from our misadventures online. I heccin love you my dude, now and always! Keep being you, Mr ‘I can demolish 4 whole squads with a Hemlock 200 metres away if I wanted to, but I don’t because it’s funnier to shoot you once and watch you panic’. You’re like, the same level of silly as me and I adore that you’re low key my parter in crime— never change 😂👌🏼👌🏼

@excitingpathtofind || I’m gonna keep the sap here to a minimum cuz lord knows you’re gonna get most of it later on but I still wanna include you in this cuz you my bitch and ily. I’ve known you for a fair chunk of my life and we have been through so much; you’ve been my support, my inspiration, my hope and my main man. You’ve got a laugh that makes me wheeze harder than any joke ever could and you’ve got the kind of advice God wishes he could offer to the people who pray to him. You’ve got a wonderful ability to bring positivity into the lives of the people you meet and you do a damn good job at it, so much so, that it doesn’t surprise me that you’ve managed to secure yourself someone who adores you as much as you adore both her, and your other friends. SPEAKING OF WHOM; 💞💞💞

@lifeline-calling || ZOE MY GIRL, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE ENABLER, I LOVE YOU!!!! I could honestly talk with you for hours about candles and artisan soaps and you’ve got the kind of persuasion skills that’d make me buy two llamas, a penguin, a 6 inch draining pipe and a bag of crusty tomatoes if you wanted me to. You’ve got an infectious personality and being in parties with you always feels like a blessing. You’ve got the highest quality memes and banter I’ve seen in a long time and you never fail to make me smile, even if I’m wallowing in self pity for some dumb reason; a wonderful quality to have and you should be really really proud of yourself. I’m so thankful that Ayla introduced us and I’m even more thankful that you accepted me and my dumbass ways into your life so willingly, you’re a gift from the heavens and I cannot express how much of an impact you’ve had on my life!! You’re a sweet, caring, creative and charismatic soul; a truly wonderful person. 💞💞💞

@ilwha || Yo so ik we haven’t spoken on a personal level but I just wanted to say that you are one of the most talented people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Everytime I see you post, my day is immediately brightened because I know that whatever that post is, you’ve poured your love and passion into it. You even allowed me to use one of your edits as my profile picture and I still use it to this day because honestly, I adore it. You’re an inspiration to artists and an inspiration to me. Someday I’d like to know you better because from what I can tell, you’re an interesting person with a keen sense of creativity and I’m willing to bet you’re funny as hecc too. I live for your blog and I’d give my life for you too, cuz you make so many peoples lives better and I appreciate and respect that 💫💞⭐️

@shes-fast-like-me || TRISTAN WHERE THE FUCK DO I BEGIN WITH YOU, YOU CHAOTIC ADORABLE FUCK!!! God I actually adore the additions you make to posts and the raw chaotic energy you give off is enough to rival myself and Smeach, you make me physically giggle when reading the things you post and you’re like something from a legend. I hear soooooo many people in this community speak highly of you and they’re right to do so, you’ve got a huge heart of gold and you interact with so many souls here that it warms my cold dead heart a couple degrees. I have never cried as hard in my life than the time you added all those songs to Smeach’s playlist cuz I shit you not, I put that playlist on when my university friends came over and fuckin baby shark just blasted through my flat, u fuckin pogchamp. I HATE that song but my god do I love you for adding it cuz I was keeled over on my floor physically weeping whilst my friends laughed & it brought us closer. You’ve got a talent with people and I wouldn’t trade you for the world, cuz you make my life that little bit brighter. You are valid in every sense of the word kiddo, and I love you for it 🤧💞⭐️

As you may have noticed, I didn’t limit it to only 3 people this time because love has no limit, so take these compliments you precious beans, and set forth on your own quests to let those important to you know just how much they mean!! Go show them the kind of love that’ll make them tear up, and then slurp up that sweet nectar and feel GOOD 💫💞🌈🌈

[starryseo]

heart eyes. | seo changbin

this gif is perfect!!

pairing ↠ changbin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just fluff!!

wc ↠ 1533

summary ↠ chan is a terrible wingman.

warnings ↠ a biiit of swearing. like one word.

hi, i saw that your requests are open and i just found your blog but i love your writing so much already! i was wondering if i could have a scenario with changbin? where you are bff w/ chan and are 4 years older than changbin and also a few inches taller than him but have a crush on him. you don't do anything about your crush but chan knows about it and wants you two to get together. you can decide how you want it to end! thank you!

a/n ↠ thank you so much!!! + im sorry i know you said scenario but this is gonna be a bulleted scenario bc paragraphs take long for me and i dont want you waiting forever for this rip

hope you like it anyways tho!!!!

okay so!!

you’re a songwriter at jyp and you’ve worked with a lot of different groups in there, getting to know the trainees and debuted groups

when you’re not working with debuted groups, you’re helping out some of the trainees

some of them have told you how much they look up to you since you’re young but you’ve gotten so far in life, writing lyrics and melodies for one of the top 3

and they’re always asking you for tips and ideas and if you can read over some of the lyrics theyve written

and theyre always asking for your opinion on whether the melody goes with the lyrics theyve written

and you love how inspired and determind they are bc it’s hard being a trainee, going to school AND writing lyrics/ composing on the side

mad respect to all those out there

you’ve worked with a lot of trainees, but when jyp himself asked you to work w a kiddo named chan you were really excited!!!

ok hes not really a kiddo, he was a year younger than yourself but!! who cares!!!

you two hit it off really quickly, being vvv good friends in a short amount of time

some other trainees had suggested you listen to some soundcloud group 3racha and you really liked them!!!

and now!! you’re working with one of them!!!

jyp knew that chan was rly good at song writing and composing, and it was getting closer to the survival show time, so he asked you to help chan out

guiding him on how to write a Hit Song

so you worked closely with him before the show had started airing, running through the tips you had learnt through your years of writing

and you ran through different concepts and ideas he wanted to express through his music and songs

after a month of constant-coffee-meet-ups and late night freestyles you two had gotten vv close

practically inseparable, even tho you both were v busy, you w composing and him with his group

there rly was never a dull moment between you two and you rly liked having a proper friend that you could trust and vent to if need be

the day he introduced you to his group was wild!!!

he invited you out to a restaurant after the hellevator mv dropped

when you got there, he was standing at the entrance and he was like “:00 you came!!! took you long enough!!”

“i wasnt gonna miss out on free food now was i??”

he took you inside, saying he’d already gotten the table

and when you got there youre like

“,,,, why are there a bunch of boys at our table ://”

“theyre my group members!!!!”

:000!!!

they were quiet at first but when chan introduced you they all burst into cheers

it was just chaos like “hi!!!!!!!” / “hellooooooo!!!” / “omg!!!!!” / “thank you for helping w the mv!!!!” / “wow we finally get to see yn!!!!!!”

and youre just like ,,,,, what do i even reply to,,

so you say hi etc, introduce yourself and then take a seat next to chan

even tho you had known chan for a long time, you rly had only worked w him

like, he would always come to your office to work on stuff or you’d meet in public places, but it was only ever the two of you

so you were happy you finally got to meet the others!!

it was rly fun meeting all of them, they were so lively!!!

they were asking all sorts of questions abt you, your job, interests etc and they were rly thankful that you helped chan bc he imparted his knowledge + help onto them

and chan was like “yeah thanks for all your help!! this is all stressful so it was vv helpful that you guided me on how to do this stuff!!”

but as soon as the food came? they were silent

like seriously, there was barely any chatter

only small grumbles from jisung when seungmin stole his food

you had spoken to changbin a lot throughout the night

he was sitting next to you and you were internally Combusting bc

oh man you were sitting in between 2/3 of 3racha and you had to admit

changbin was probs your fave outta the 3 of them

man,, you really loved his tone of voice and how he could change it so easily within a song, and it would still flow so!! well!!!

you loved listening to him rapping sm and chan most definitely knew abt that

whenever he brought over lines/ ideas that he and the guys had written, you’d be like Wow i really love this part, it flows rly well w the melody

chan: “ah really? guess who wrote that!”

“,?? you?”

“changbin ;))))”

“whats with that face :/”

“ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  face”

“t h a t  f a c e”

“youre the one that goes all Heart Eyes when i mention changbin n yet im making a weird face??? k then”

“PPPPFT shut up lets work idk what youre talking abt”

and he dropped the subject but that stupid smirk never left his face :(((

when you finished your food, chan who obvs had already inhaled his food just started nudging you like

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nows ur chance”

“i can finally kill u?? :D”

“:( no wtf why would u wanna do that?”

“wait i have a list-”

“BRO </3 i meant nows ur chance to woo changbin ;^))))”

“to do what now”

“to KiSs KiSs FaLl In LoVe with bInNiE!!”

“omg youre embarassing how are You the leader??”

and he just kept that up the Whole Night

honestly youre surprised none of the other guys realised what he was doing bc he just kept smirking and nudging you whenever changbin so much as sipped his water and you would straight up Elbow Him

but then he was like “hey changbin :)”

and internally you were just like Oh Great here comes the Fuckening

and the dude literally Exposed you there

and you were just like ?? i just mET youre group and youre already telling them my life story???

Chan basically told changbin abt how much you rly liked his lyrics and you were just like

:))) I :)) Hate :))))) You :)))) ByungChan

and like there was no way for you to even defend yourself bc chan was making you out to be some crazy fan like “oh man yn wouldnt sTOP talking abt this one line you wrote in IF and it was like 4am like bro i already dont sleep and they kept me up”

minho the Jerk was like !!! theyre blushing aww!!!

Cue you going even more red like Bang Chan youre a dead man :)

And changbin was just rly ? bashful ? he was surprisingly mature abt this and he just kept his reply rly simple like “ah really? thanks, that means a lot, esp coming from such an amazing writer like yourself!”

and you felt like Dying bc

were you that weird in his eyes that he couldnt even joke abt this now?? like did he just find you Super Creepy he just went all Awkward + Formal on you???

nAH HE WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING BUt unfortunately you didnt know that bc he was holding it in so. well.

the major TBH is that chan was so trying to set you up

like,,, look at the seating arrangement man, he HAD to put you two together bc

you wouldnt stop talking abt how much you loved changbin’s skills

and omg changbin was even worse

as soon as he found out chan was working with you he was Begging to join too!!

he was like!!!! i need help!! so much help pLS LET ME WORK WITH THEM P L S

and chan just to tease the both of you prolonged this out for so. long. bc Hes the Devil

honestly he was so close to bursting into laughter when changbin gave you such a formal reply bc hE KNEW he was going crazy inside like

he always talked abt how cool you were with all the songs you wrote, he loved how you were so emotive and creative with your words, you really inspired him

and his bEST FRIEND was woRKING WITH YOU and NOT giving him your phONE NUMBER chan is the ult snake

chan basically confirmed everything when he asked you who your fave in 3racha was and you said that chan was

bc like lmfao s u r e it was

and then when chan told changbin your fave was jisung he looked the tiniest bit Sad which basically just confirmed everything in chan’s mind

and he felT BAD THAT he straight up lied to changbin bUT

he did that like the day before he was gonna introduce you two

so he had already planned to expose you and see changbin blush like Crazy

Unfortunately only you were blushing but,,, he Knew

and when he saw you and changbin trailing behind the group after dessert, phones out to exchange details, he Knew ;^))) 

i rly didnt know where i was going with this and then i just button smashed this lmfao also sorry i didnt mention the height thing?? i didnt know if you wanted that to be an important plot point but i like the openness of this lmao sorry i’ll make up for it one day hopefully. i hope u like it anyway ++ im so so sry its so late!!!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 050: Hunting Down Villains

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Gran Torino had a fierce fucking fight, during which Deku successfully utilized One for All LIKE A MAN, bouncing all over the damn place and increasing his body’s strength and speed. It was very badass, and he even managed to graze Torino’s cheek, although he was tired out afterward. Over at the Villain Bar, Stain rassled with Tomura and lightly stabbed him a bit to test his mettle, and apparently he was impressed enough to hold off on killing him for now. Then he headed back to Hosu, presumably to fuck up Iida’s shit ffffff.

Today on BnHA: Deku and Gran Torino hop on a bullet train trip to do some training in the city. Iida’s field training mentor Manual warns him not to try anything stupid like hunting down the guy who maimed his brother. Stain and Tomura arrive in Hosu. Tomura is annoyed and craving some mayhem, so he goes and summons THREE FUCKING NOUMUS to go wreck some shit. Deku and Gran’s train is attacked by one and Gran flies off to fight it. Iida spots Stain about to kill a dude in an alley and ignores everything Manual said and goes to confront him, announcing that he’s the hero who’s come to take down Stain in his brother’s stead: Ingenium.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 123 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

apparently we’re already on day 3 of the internship! we’re also just about a quarter of the way through the whole series now which is also cool!

this chapter is titled “Kill ‘Em Dead” so. that promises to be fun

looks like Deku has gotten his ass kicked again. but he wants to keep going!

“time for phase two... the actual internship!” oh yeah, that. I was wondering if he was ever going to actually do something hero-related. he hasn’t gotten much in the way of practical day-to-day experience thus far

off they go to hunt down some villains

bad villains, really bad villains, talkative villains, mysterious villains, fabulous villains, lame villains, surprise villains, tragic villains... there are a lot

Deku doesn’t think his heart is ready for this. even though he already fought like three of the worst ones out there

even Gran points that out, and says this won’t even come close to how bad that was. well, good

(ETA: this just goes to show that YOU CAN’T SEE THE FUCKING FUTURE, GRAN TORINO)

apparently there isn’t enough crime in this quiet neighborhood, so they’re taking a taxi and then the bullet train

there’s a whole map explaining where they are in Japan, and I’m ashamed that I don’t know enough about the geography of Japan for it to mean much to me. I do know that Shibuya, where they’re headed, is basically the Times Square of Tokyo, though

apparently they’ll be passing through Hosu on their way, which gets Deku thinking about Iida again

he’s thinking to himself that maybe he’ll get in touch with him later, so clearly something terrible is about to happen

“meanwhile in Hosu City” oh lord. bracing myself

the guy Iida’s interning with is apologizing that things aren’t more exciting. but Iida says it’s better that way

because this guy was not, in fact, born yesterday, he finally asks Iida if he’s after the Hero Killer. since it’s pretty obvious that this kid, who recently tied for third place in the sports festival and is the younger brother of a bigshot like Ingenium, probably had a few more exciting prospects than his little agency

he’s telling Iida not to be motivated by personal grudges. I’m sure Iida will take all this to heart and drop the whole thing immediately

actually that’s interesting to hear that they don’t have authority to make arrests. basically they just capture the bad guys and then let the cops and the courts deal with it from there

(ETA: although the way this rule is applied at the end of this arc is frankly mind-boggling to me. it should have been “thank you, children, for apprehending this serial killer who’s been terrorizing the country, and for saving Apache Chief’s life. we’re incredibly grateful to you and so very sorry that we fucked up so badly our own selves so as to make your actions necessary to begin with.” but nooooo, they get chewed out for having the fucking gall to take action in a life or death situation. and they’re told their actions can’t ever be made public or else they’d have to be punished since they broke! the! rules!! oh gosh. really the cops just didn’t want to deal with this on top of everything else and this was the laziest way they could sweep it under the rug.

sorry for that impromptu rant lol.)

Iida says he appreciates the warning. like I said,this gives me a ton of confidence that he’ll just go ahead and let this go

he is staring off into the sunset and clenching his fist

this kid got bitten by the vengeance bug real bad

now we’re back on top of that water tower where Kurogiri first met up with Stain

for whatever reason, Tomura has decided to tag along

“sacrifices” oh lord

Stain says the title of “hero” should be reserved for only the truly great, and that too many of them are just in it for the money and are undeserving

(ETA: Stain’s Annoying Rant Counter: 4)

now he’s jumping off, presumably to go kill some more of those money-grubbing heroes

as soon as he’s out of earshot Tomura immediately starts dissing him

(ETA: it’s amazing how much I sympathize with Tomura in this arc)

but Kuro says the other cities Stain has appeared in have actually seen drops in their crime rate, and that it seems to tie in with “an increase in hero awareness”

Tomura’s like, great, isn’t that the exact opposite of what we, the evil villains, are shooting for

and he wants Kuro to bring out Noumu so they can go on their own rampage

wtf. Noumu who’s supposed to be in police custody right now?

yeep

oh my god, fuck you and your s-less plurals you stupid misleading sneaky Japanese language

so these guys just have Noumus by the barrel, just lying in wait ready to be used at a moment’s notice, then??

THREE FUCKING NOUMUS

one of the Noumus has FOUR FUCKING EYES because WHY NOT

so basically these guys are their fucking Sentinels

back to Deku and Gran on the train!

it’s going to be nighttime by the time they make it to Shibuya. awesome. Gran is happy because there should be more crime to put a stop to now

oh my god Deku is waiting for Iida to reply to his text. omg. I’m having a “millennial reads a gen z manga for the first time” moment once again

FIRST OF ALL, I didn’t post the panel right before this, but basically Gran is like, “ON YOUR PHONE AGAIN?! KIDS THESE DAYS,” and OH MY GOD. GRAN IS LITERALLY NINETY PERCENT OF ALL BABY BOOMERS I’VE EVER MET

SECOND, DEKU HAS HIS READ RECEIPTS ON BECAUSE HE DOESN’T TRUST HIS FLAKY CELLULAR NETWORK

THIRD, HE HAS A PICTURE OF ALL MIGHT AS HIS OWN TEXT AVATAR, I AM FUCKING DONE. FOREVER!!

also, Iida read that shit and didn’t say a damn thing. that’s some shady fucking shit, Iida. up to no good

(ETA: I would also like to take this opportunity to complain about this translation, because in this version Deku has abbreviated the word “you” as “u” and ARE YOU KIDDING ME Deku would never)

oh shit they’re making an emergency stop

IS IT VILLAINS, IS THE TRAIN BEING ATTACKED

...okay yeah, I would say that is a yes.

yep. same

oh SHIT, it’s the Noumus. of fucking course they got those guys rather than Stain

so Deku immediately recognizes the familiar exposed-brains-and-vacant-expressions aesthetic, but before he can do anything, Gran shouts at him to stay put. and now he’s springing off into action

fucking shit. even All Might was only just barely able to beat the last Noumu, and that was with him using his full power and then some

oh shit the train hasn’t stopped yet!

shiiiiit

DAMMIT GRAN YOU SAID THIS WOULDN’T BE AS BAD AS LAST TIME

so now Deku, looking out at the city which is aflame, realizes that they’re still in Hosu, and...

and now we’re cutting back to Iida and his pal. and his pal is telling him to get a move on and that they need to head toward the scene, but all of Iida’s attention seems to have become focused on this random dark alley nearby, and now he’s taking off in that direction

(ETA: what a fucking coincidence though that Stain just happens to be in the alley right next to them though. like, come on)

and it’s Stain... he’s looking towards the explosions? presumably? and complaining to himself that “that idiot” is being too flashy

so the explosions were what was drawing the attention of Iida’s hero pal, but Iida himself probably saw this guy. and just ran over without thinking

I mean, Stain’s clearly about to end this guy though

the poor hero dude apparently can’t move. just like Kurogiri in the last chapter

and Iida’s appearing in the frame behind Stain now

oh godddd

!!

GHKHHKHFKH

LOOK AT THAT. GLASSES CAME FLYING RIGHT OFF. WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY EARLIER

now Stain is asking Iida who he is. does Stain not watch the U.A. Sports Festival broadcast along with the rest of the country

wow he’s telling Iida to leave

I left out “honorable villain” from my previous list of villain types, but this guy increasingly seems to fall under that category

(ETA: nope, already had him covered under “talkative villain”)

hoh boy Iida has his rage face on

but while he’s busy being dramatic, Stain cuts him off and points his katana right in his fucking face omg

he says he can tell from his eyes that he’s out for revenge. OH CAN YOU. YOU DON’T SAY. THOSE EYES, REALLY? THEY’RE SO FRIENDLY THOUGH

“watch your mouth or your age won’t be enough to save you”

I didn’t mention this before because I was too caught up in everything, but Stain must be the first ever person in history to look at Iida fucking Tenya and immediately think, “child”

maybe it’s the lack of glasses. if Iida still had his glasses on he’d have immediately been pegged as forty and would now be fucking dead

now Iida’s pissed off all over again because Stain doesn’t consider him a threat

look at this fucking monologue

IS HE GONNA TAKE HIS BRO’S NAME AFTER ALL OMG

HE TOOK HIS BRO’S NAME

and Stain is all “oh really? time to die then”

and the chapter ends

why are heroes so brave and stupid

BONUS:

oh cool, I think this is Iida’s hero pal and I was wondering what his name was

“Manual” omg. like manual as in training manual? instruction manual?

“favorite things: equilibrium.” favorite color: beige. favorite food: oatmeal. favorite musician: phil collins

I actually love him now and I hope we get to see him more and that he somehow manages not to become collateral damage during this arc

[nth-generation-kpop]

So Nothing’s Left Unturned

Word count: ~1800 Chapter 2/? AU Summary: Bang Chan is dense, Kim Woojin is soft, and Han Jisung Knows. What's. Up.

Chapter II: Flaws

At first he was clueless.

Chan’s arms were wrapped around Woojin, his face buried in Woojin’s shoulder as the other boy laughed. “Channie, that's so great! Now some poor bastard is gonna be sent over here to bring you coffee instead.”

“God, I don’t ever have to balance 12 cups of coffee at once again. Or kick the elevator button because my hands are full. Or bring that idiot Park a croissant because ‘he switched to tea.’” Woojin rubbed his back and Chan let his eyes fall closed for a second. He felt such an incredible sense of relief.

“Slow down there, you've still got 2 months of summer left,” Woojin cautioned, pulling away and causing Chan to take a step back and realize he was full on koala bear-ing the poor guy.

“Yeah, they said they'd start training me on some stuff early though. Ease me in, let me do some shadowing. Plus I'll be training the new guys!”

He must have looked… mischievous, because Woojin’s expression turned disapproving. “You know if those kids show up and talk about what an asshole Bang Chan is I'm gonna get the dirt and then tell them all the embarrassing stories about you.”

“Fiiine, I'll be nice,” Chan said, winking.

Woojin paused. “Hey, so you should let me take you out for coffee sometime. To celebrate.”

Chan wrinkled his nose. “Don’t you get tired of coffee?”

Woojin smirked. “Well, I could take you to dinner instead, if you'd prefer?”

“No, no no no,” Chan replied quickly, shaking his head. “That’s too much, I was just teasing. Here, or…?”

“Not here, no the guys would never let me live that down. How about that place on 6th Avenue, by the College of Pharmacy building?”

“Yeah, okay!” Chan looked down at his phone, noting the time. “I've gotta get back, but text me about the time and stuff. Thursday’s your day off right?”

“Yep, does that work?”

It was Chan’s turn to flash a suave smile. “I can make it work. I'll see you Thursday.”

If Chan would have been paying attention, if he wasn't dense and perhaps a touch sleep deprived, he might have noticed the pink in Woojin’s cheeks.

He didn't.

~~~~~

Over the next week. Chan found himself looking forward to Thursday. Thinking about Thursday. Planning out Thursday. Just generally being excited about Thursday.

He'd have to go into work a little early and stay later than normal, but his bosses gladly granted him two hours off in the afternoon. To be honest he hadn't spent much one-on-one time with Woojin-- he was a little nervous. It was easy being in the cafe together because they were always caught up in the banter and the joking and the laughing that was almost constant with all the other boys-- Woojin was going to realize that Chan was actually pretty shy and not very funny. His horrible dad jokes and innuendos would come off abrasive and uncomfortable if they were alone. It's not that Chan wasn't a genuine person, he was just... anxious. In fact the more he thought about Thursday the more anxious he got-- partially the fear of messing things up and partially the fear of being truly himself around someone he admired. Thursday began to loom ominously ahead of him.

Chan’s closest friends tended to be his oldest friends. He didn’t make friends easily and he simply couldn’t bring himself trust new people. He got himself so worked up about things that he’d said, things they said, and his mind would take over. He would replay conversations in his head only to think up ways they could have been better, things he could have said that would be smoother or less embarrassing or more interesting. With his longtime friends he had overtime been able to take most of the pressure off, mostly by reinforcing over and over again how he didn’t have to be interesting and smooth and not embarrassing around them. And when he did backslide, they’d freely offer the sort of validation that was exactly what he needed.

But new people were hard, and Woojin was new, and that made everything messy. Chan really liked him, really really liked him. It would have been much easier if Woojin was just a cute, funny barista; but he was sweet and kind and caring as well. He asked Chan about his day, fussed over him a bit on extra stressful days, and genuinely tried to take care of Chan where he could. It was a strange feeling, being taken care of by a friend, as Chan was the friend who took care of everybody. Sometimes he felt like he held the weight of them all on his shoulders, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything-- in turn, they held him up as well. Kim Woojin was refreshing in a way that Chan hadn’t experienced before, and he was terrified of fucking it up.

That’s why he latched on to none other than Han Jisung on Thursday.

“Hey, I haven’t told you. Uh, if you need me this afternoon I’ll have my phone on me, but I have to be out of here at 11:50 until about 2. I’m meeting a friend or coffee,” Chan told Jisung, sitting on the empty desk beside the high schooler.

“Oooh, a boyfriend?” Jisung replied, wiggling his eyebrows as he sorted through a giant stack of papers. Ahh, the joys of internship clerical duties.

“Haha, no.” Chan deadpanned. “Just a friend. You might have met him if they’ve sent you to get coffee over at Rosetta? Kim Woojin?”

Jisung smirked. “They don’t send me to get coffee anymore. One time I dropped an entire tray in the BYG lobby. Right on someone’s expensive fancy leather shoes. He kicked up a fuss and so… yeah I sort papers now when I’m not shadowing.”

“How… how did I not hear about that?” Chan demanded.

“I may have told you I spilled one coffee… at the time. Shut up, I was embarrassed. I do know a Kim Woojin who goes here. A writer? Blonde, about yea high” Jisung gestured vaguely.

“Yeah, that sounds like my Woojin. You met him at the coffee shop?”

Jisung frowned. “No, I’ve never actually seen him there. We met last summer in a writing class, he was kind of a mentor.”

“Thursdays are his days off so I guess that makes sense.”

“It’s too bad, I really liked him. We lost touch after the class, but we used to just sit around and write together. He’s fun.”

“Do you, uh, want to come? Get coffee with us? We’re celebrating, I got the internship position for next year so I’ll be actually making music and learning from the people here.”

“Chan, that’s so great! Yeah, I’d love to come! Do you think he’ll mind?”

Chan considered it for a moment before shaking his head. Woojin was pretty easy going, Chan figured he’d actually be happy to see the high schooler once again. Woojin was just...  like that. Plus, Jisung would keep the mood lighter. Chan wouldn’t have to worry about one-on-one time or making a fool of himself because Jisung had the habit of playing everything off as a joke. He was like the other baristas-- yes, Jisung is exactly what he needed. The anxiety in his stomach dissipated a bit; and while he knew he would still replay all the conversations in his head and mentally smack himself for this or that, he’d be more calm in the moment. Less panic meant less embarrassment which meant less retrospective horror. This was good.

He grabbed Jisung before he left and they headed around the corner to the cafe they were meeting Woojin at. Jisung asked why they wouldn’t just go to Rosetta and Chan brushed the comment off, saying Woojin probably just wanted a change in scenery. When they arrived, the genuine surprise in Woojin’s eyes made Chan smile. He was totally caught off guard, and after shooting a confused look at Chan, his normal smile fell back into place and he pulled Jisung in for a warm hug. Everything went so smooth, and having Jisung around kept a lot of the attention off him. The mixture of celebrating, Woojin and Jisung catching up, and them all exchanging stories was easy and comfortable and perfect.

By the time Jisung left, Chan was confident and calm enough that he only felt little flutters in his stomach-- no shaking hands, no racing mind. It was a good sign. Maybe Woojin’s smile was a little more tight-lipped than normal, and maybe Jisung jokingly texted him ‘dude did you invite me on your date????’ and a bunch of laughing emojis; but Chan put that all out of his mind and considered it a success. It definitely wasn’t a date, that’s for sure. His social anxiety gave him a one-up on other people, and usually he was the one over interpreting social cues. Still, he went to sleep that night thinking yeah, it might be nice to date Kim Woojin one day. Maybe that was in the cards for him.

~~~~~

Kim Woojin 4:21pm … You didn’t crash anything per say, I really enjoyed seeing you But yes, you kinda did crash our date which means he didn’t think it was a date. Which is awkward.

Han Jisung 4:22pm :( sorry hyung…. but maybe u should ask him point blank if he likes u?

Kim Woojin 4:24pm You’re cute, it’s okay if he doesn’t like me! I’m fine with it, we’ll just be friends. 

Han Jisung 4:24pm BUT WHAT IF HE DOES LIKE U AND HES JUST DENSE

Kim Woojin 4:25pm He doesn’t, you know he doesn’t. You were there on our not-date. He’s not interested and that’s okay

Han Jisung 4:25pm But… :(

Kim Woojin 4:25pm There’s other fish in the sea. They may not have those dimples but I’m gonna have to settle Seriously, it was really good seeing you kid. Let me know when you’re going to be here again

Han Jisung 4:27pm Okay hyung, if you insist ;) I missed you, it felt like old times 

Kim Woojin 4:27pm You’re the silver lining for the train wreck that was today Can you… not tell anybody about it? I’m a little embarrassed… 

Han Jisung 4:28pm My lips are sealed!! 

Kim Woojin 4:29pm Thanks, have a good train ride home, text me when you get there safe

Han Jisung 4:30pm <3<3<3

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