#thank GOD we don’t have to worry about that for another year 🫡

[etapereine]

[nadekosnake]

neglected manuscript - Do you have a favorite novel?

from this ancient ask meme

LMAO NO!!! PICKING THE ONE I WAS AFRAID OF 💀 I could make it easy and lie but y’know what? We’re gonna be honest about this 🫡 Gonna be LONG bc I have 1) not talked with about this in any capacity with another human being before and 2) a pretty complicated relationship with this book 🤕

Content warning for CSA 👇

This is difficult partly bc I do love a lot of books but partly bc I don’t like to reveal my actual favorite book… I genuinely worry people will perceive me in a very negative way LMAO. My favorite of all time is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 😶 It’s the book I’ve reread the most in my life so far and it is genuinely one of the best written books I have read 🤧 I think generally people are like 😰🤢 when you drop a bomb like that what’s typically supposed to be a light-hearted convo so I usually will say something else! Typically my safe answer is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (which genuinely was my favorite book at some point in time, we are not going to dive into this right now).

(A disclaimer as I talked about Lolita fashion before, I am aware that the fashion gets its name from the novel but that’s where the relation ends. I like Lolita fashion because I’m a loser that likes subculture fashion and not because it has the same name or any other connection to the book. That happens to be coincidental. I am staunchly against fetishization of the fashion ok thanks! 🙂‍↕️ back to the program!)

Brief summary for those who need it: Humbert (the narrator) is a scholar and a secret pedophile, who one day meets the Haze family for a home stay. He obsesses over the daughter, a 12 year-old girl named Dolores Haze, who he personally calls Lolita. Humbert marries Ms. Haze to be around the real object of his obsession. Through unfortunate events, he ends up Dolores’s sole caretaker. She lives with Humbert’s constant sexual abuse that spans a cross-country roadtrip, but eventually she runs away with the help of another pedophile. Unfortunately it is not a happy ending. Despite Dolores’s escape from both pedophiles, she dies before she can rebuild a normal life with her future family.

The first time I tried to read it, I was too young (around Dolores’s own age 🫥). It was recommended to me by another middle school girl! God knows what the fuck we were doing back then LMAO but the girl who recommended it to me said it was a love story. Older man girl our age whatever. Tbh when I started it I understood that it wasn’t a love story… and I couldn’t finish it because of how uncomfortable it made me. I reread it a handful of times between middle school and uni with varying degrees of success, and I only really started to grasp it when I reached uni. I do think I was entirely too young to read the book or even understand it, and thankfully it was not used as a tool to manipulate me. It was a dicey time tbh. When I was growing up, there weren’t communities of young women that centered around accepting Dolores Haze as a victim.

I think there’s a disclaimer for those you haven’t read it and think it glorifies CSA and pedophilia. It really does not. Nabokov himself was a victim of CSA and did not condone it. I think that the #1 thing that movie adaptations and pop culture struggle with is that people believe the narrator point blank. So the adaptations all have this horrible romanticization of the story at their cores. People even struggle with understanding the book because the narrator is an Educated & Scholarly Man who is like ✨I’m a poet I’m a sensitive soul and we poets just believe in love✨ like NO!!! The whole point of the story is that he is an unreliable narrator!!! The narrator is a murderer, rapist, kidnapper, and if you’re actually paying attention you see it all with your own damn eyes! And of course nobody really does pay attention! 😭

So like, why is this my favorite? This is also complicated LOL, but I think that there’s a couple of main reasons.

Ultimately, to me, the novel is a puzzle that Nabokov invites you to solve. You have an unreliable narrator, but he’s an excellent manipulator. I think a lot of people lose “the game,” so to speak, the first time they read the book because the narrator is so good at making you see only what he wants you to see (he loves her, he’s just a nice sensitive guy who lost his first love too early, he’s doesn’t mean to hurt “his” “Lolita,” she “seduced” him, she “makes” him do horrible things to her, etc). It is written so well, and since the character himself is a professor and an intellectual, I think it’s easier for folks to let their guard down and to literally be tricked. Genuinely speaking I struggled with what to believe too, especially as a child. The only reason I didn’t buy into the “love story” bit was because by some intuition, I was aware that something Bad was happening despite the narrator’s insistence that it was all good. Tho I could not pinpoint what it was at the time.

But once you break past the facade and you’re fully paying attention the novel, it is like two stories in one. One hand, poets romantics in the name of love blah blah blah, but on the other hand? Dolores is a girl from a broken home, who’s mother is murdered by a man that wants to rape her. She’s kidnapped and shows clear signs of abuse (triggered by paternal affection, cried herself to sleep every night since the abuse started, bouts of disassociation, extreme rebellion towards Humbert, etc). Some of this stuff is actually glossed over by the narrator, but signs of a whole other part of the story are literally right in front of you if you’re paying attention.

For example, there’s a single line about Dolores’s mother, Charlotte, where she reveals in a letter to Humber that both her first husband and her youngest child (Dolores’s baby brother) died. And the narrator does NOT give a rat’s ass about this woman or her woes so it’s never talked about again. It’s whittled down to one single dismissive sentence, and I missed it tons of times. But knowing that, it makes sense why Charlotte acts as she does, why Charlotte and Dolores’s relationship is fraught. And why Dolores acts as she does at the beginning of the novel. Literally the Haze family is going through extreme grief with barely the emotional resources to process a double death in their immediate family. Without that context though, you’re just going along with whatever Humbert wants you to believe. You don’t see who Charlotte or Dolores are as individuals. You miss a chunk of the truth. And that’s literally just one of the smallest instances I can think of. There’s so much to dig through both directly and in between the lines. Nabokov is so deliberate with his writing and so extremely detailed that there’s a LOT of things that are easily missed unless you read it multiple times. This shit is so detailed, there’s scholars dedicated both to Nabokov and to Lolita the novel.

I think the last big reason I keep coming back to it is because I think it’s something so deeply rooted in society, you never really live without Lolita. The book has been bastardized to hell and back because most people, especially those in power once again, Do Not Understand how to read this book. So we’re left with not necessarily Dolores Haze, but this enigmatic “Lolita” the abstract figure of Humbert’s delusions. She is so influential, we all live our lives with her whether or not we’re aware of it. Coquette aesthetic? Lolita. Lana Del Rey? Katy Perry? The Police? Lolita. Marc Jacobs? Carven? Lolita. Vladimir? Excavation? My Dark Vanessa? Lolita. Heart-shaped sunglasses? Lolita. Butterflies??? Yes, Lolita. You can even go so wild with the connections to the point of bringing up the goddamn Lion King (animated 1994 version, Scar is voiced by Jeremy Irons who played Humbert Humbert in Adrian Lyne’s 1997 adaptation).

And it’s this constant reminder, every day. You pass by her on the Internet or in an ad while you’re out and about. She lives in the shadow of your acquaintance or your loved one. She haunts everything in a very real and literal sense. I think that’s what keeps me coming back to the book… even if I wanted to forget about her, I don’t think I ever really could.

[damelucyjo]

Buckle in, guys!

Episode 4 - Big Week

Cute sleepy Jamie 🥰

I love Phil & Brett together and want them together forever!

THE FUCKING HEAD TORCH!! 😂

Ooo we love to see a Phil bum 😏

Nate’s got his own place? Nice

Him knocking ‘Ted’ off the table, chuckling, then picking him back up is all we need to see where Nate is going

Sleepy Ted is a cute Ted

Fucking Sassy. If I close my eyes does that mean this didn’t happen?? 🫣

Yes, because we need another reminder of how good Ted is in bed 👀

Sassy! You do not tell this man you do not like his puns! That’s like telling him to his face you don’t like him. Just rude really

Does this man not take his top off for sexy time?? Or just get dressed again afterwards 🤔

I have many opinions about Sassy, but knowing he’s opening himself up and trying to just get that reaction is cruel. She’s a cruel woman

Eww. They did not kiss. Nope, didn’t happen 🫣 Brett, I will never forgive you for this

Also, I know we’ve not been in Ted’s bedroom much but it seems a lot bigger now?? Or is that just me?

Again, Phil and Brett are gold. Brett, you’re forgiven

Oh Jamie. Ew

YEEAAHHH!!

Girl, you are obsessed with your ex-husband. LET. IT. GO!

You look hot though so… as you were

Oop single players 👀 of course she asks about Sam 🥴

I FUCKING LOVE BARBARA 😍

‘Who’s Jack?’ Girlie can’t help herself with the gossip 😂

God, that shade of blue looks really good on Hannah ���

Does Keeley not know her boss’ name??

I love that you can’t tell if she’s being genuine or sarcastic 😂

Why are they explaining this to Leslie?? 😂

All that effort to not think of the most obvious question. Please never change boys!

I think them fighting like child siblings is my new favourite thing?? you just know Brett had the time of his life writing this stuff for himself 😂😂

👀 Higgins worried he’s gonna make them kiss 😂

Their reaction to the news Sassy stayed - perfect. Beards little shimmy dance is the best

I absolutely love how over the top these diamond dogs meeting calls are getting, and that they all have a position to be for them

THANK YOU BEARD FOR CALLING HIM OUT ON THE NATE STUFF 🫡 and straight up telling him he’s a mess. That’s a best friend right there!

Fucking co-dependence anonymous 😂

Roy wanting nothing to do with these meetings but listening from his office anyway. King, honestly

Calling him like a dog 😂 how many times did they have to do this before they could get it

Another ‘gay’ joke 🤦🏻‍♀️ but Uncle Trent sees you, Colin 👀

Okay, I actually really like Zava. I don’t know how it’s gonna play out, but I think he is good for the boys. Even if letting his kids name themselves is a bit whack-a-do 😂

Isaac in his pink trackies, looking all hot 🔥🔥

Oh no! The sign!! (But actually how can they not see that tear down the middle?? Do they just never look at it??)

Isaac thinking it was his hand though? Brilliant. And testing it on Jamie before image really thought it through 😂 I love you, bruv. Please never change

It is adorable though how attached they all are to the believe sign

Queen Jade is back!

Nathan making fun of people (that they have absolutely no idea about) but still having to backtrack and verify he meant nothing by it… hmm. I see you, Nate, you’re still in there

Jason Jelly 😂😂 thank you Jade

Dani’s oldest friend being a 108 year old names Javier is just precious. Protect this boy at all costs!

Oh Shandy 😔 please don’t let that ‘being the boss’ comment be foreshadowing for something. I really don’t know how I feel about you yet 🤔

The blurring of their faces, but still being extremely recognisable is genius

I absolutely love these boys, showing Zoreaux how accepting they are of him changing his name and just going with it (and of course Colin isn’t in the room to see 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Brett to be the one to write Keeley talking through how much Jamie has changed… 👀

Within the story this is upsetting footage to see Nate destroying the sign, but watching Nick fumble about was glorious

I love how Trent just fits into this group so effortlessly. Thank you, uncle Trent, for the footage 😎

‘Jane’s sister is in town’ OMG could you imagine! Now I kinda wanna see that 😂

Fuck you, Rupert. But hey Anthony Head 🔥😍

Nate also can’t help himself with the puns,,, interesting

Nick has done an amazing job portraying how conflicted Nate is. I do really feel for him. I may not have liked what happened, but I do understand it

Fucker Rupert reminding him to call him Mr Mannion 😡

All these texts are a fun thing to pause and read. Also it’s interesting to see who he has a contact photo for and who he doesn’t…

But Rebecca’s picture is the best

OMG IT’S REBECCA! TIME FOR A SOLO TED & REBECCA SCENE. I don’t think I’m ready 🫠

She’s so straight faced with her jokes. They’re perfect for one another 🥰

‘Of course you are. That’s why we get along’ that is the correct answer, wife of Ted. No hesitation at all

Her coming down to check on him under the guise of telling him she wants to win all because she had a conversation with Sassy and knew he wouldn’t be doing well 🥹 WIFE HER UP TED!!

O K L A H O M A 😳 triggered

Is it insensitive to use a word to get a man to speak, when that word was a tool taught to him by the guy who was his therapist and is now in a relationship with his ex-wife?? Just asking 👀

Of course he’s a progmess (why do I feel like I’ve heard that before🤔)

Thank you, Ted, for reminding her she doesn’t have to keep fighting that fucker. She’s not going to listen, but thank you for saying it 😂

Will fucking falling off the bus with the bags 😂 and the reporters reactions😂 I love this show!

She has to reapply her lip liner 👀 great call-back Mr Goldstein!

I kinda love Bex for making jokes about Rupert like that in front of Rebecca. She actually seemed surprised she did it, too

Keeley, babes, who the fuck puts in a tampon like that?! 😂😂

I also love this whole tampon talk was written by Brett

Omg that Nate reveal was hilarious

I really do feel for this poor boy. He’s so lost too 😔

Ooo Keeley 👀 I see you girly 👀

Them all having a different answer to the riddle 😂

Aww, poor Higgins 😂

I bloody love how all I’ve the place Barbra is. Katy is brilliant!

‘Barbra’s obsessed with Rebecca’ yeah, as am I. You’re not special! (But is she though? I don’t see it. Are you projecting, Shandy??)

And that line about wearing her skin as a suit 😳 I’m watching you, Shandy 👀

You do not cross Mae! How dare you wear that shit in her pub!!

🎵I’m forever blowing bubbles🎵 uh oh. As a Brit I think I’ve been conditioned to sing along. I can’t help it 😂

Ooo the coaching boys aren’t happy

Hannah’s best acting is seeming interested in football 😂 she needs awards just for that

I’m by no means a football expert. I’m only English and have it ingrained into my person! But Zoreaux is not a good goalie! He always comes so far out and they always get past him. Why haven’t they switched back to O’Brien yet?? Surely his butt still isn’t torn

Ooo she’s pissed 🥵

Another Ted & Rebecca scene 🥰 We’ve been spoilt!

Oh she is not doing well! 😂

‘I believe in you, Ted’ ‘And it’s intense’ 😂 we know these two have a time keeping it together so I’m gonna need to outtakes of this one😂

‘Off you pop’ there it is 😂 iykyk

They obviously said to Hannah do whatever you want as he walks away and I love that. She’s such a dork 🥰🥰

These boys have come so far. I’m so proud *wipes tear*

I actually love seeing them all so angry. You’d think ripping up that sign is purely against Ted, but he’s also shit on something they all truly believe in. Getting these boys to forgive him will be the hardest hurdle for him to overcome

Poor Ted. Nate really is all over the shop!

Aww, poor Rebecca 🥺 & Leslie’s ‘it’s okay’ 🥺 my little heart

I need to say it again; I love Barbra 😂

Oh Rupert, you naughty boy 🫣 very telling for Rebecca though, I think.

I love that Ted is also coaching Beard & Roy. They made a mistake that he knows that’ll learn from. No need to get angry 🤷🏻‍♀️ Better luck next time

What’s he gonna do with that footage?? 👀 who you showing, Ted??

Thank you reporter for calling Nate out for being a dick 👍🏼

Bones & Honey 👀

I actually like this version of Bex. She seems like she kinda stands up to him, making these jokes. But she can’t be blind to how he still is with his ex-wife. It’s very strange behaviour, my boy. Knock it off

YES! Tell him babes. Fuck him up!! Is he going to be worried? Me thinks not

Okay, Jack & Keeley are cute. Fuck off Shandy

Isn’t it the Bantr lot that Jack works with? That funded Keeley’s firm? Did you just really fuck up babes??

I do not like you, Shandy. I hope you don’t ruin things for my girl

Oh, so it’s Rupert in front of people then? Mr Mannion behind closed doors?? The mind games have already started Nate. I’m sorry friend

And he’s giving him some thy big he wants but wouldn’t get by himself. RUN NATE RUN!!

And he’s clocked him & his secretary 👀 will he tell him? Use it against him?? 👀

Nice drink call back to the gala 👍🏼

Sweet baby Jamie, ready and eager to work 🥰

That quote read out on TV is just like the Nanny McPhee quote I’ve had in my head about Zava - ‘When you need be, but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me, but no longer need me, then I must go’ 😳

Why has Ted’s Lego got grey hair? What happened?? Did I not notice that before???

Well done, Ted, for having the necessary conversation with Michelle. Hopefully this can be the beginning of you actually talking to people about how you feel 🫡

He mentioned family 👀 interesting 👀 there’s a blonde looking for a family, I think 👀😂

Is she proud of him? Me too, babes

Grant 🥺🫡🥰

Woah, that one was a lot, huh! Another great one in the books. And I spy a certain ex named John credited to be in the next episode 🫣 so that should be fun!!

[hanalwayssolo]

I've scoured your page for your ocs so I have two. Please, all the questions for Briony and Javier?

I’m sorry if this took so long anon but all questions???? I am absolutely happy to serve! 🫡

Placing this under the cut because I got carried away with the idea of Briony and Javier meeting through a virtual chat and getting to have a conversation.

OC interview questions

1 Who makes up your family? How close are you to them?

Briony: So there's Cor, and he’s my dad. Not by blood, though.

B: Then my mom. Her name's Candela. Again, not by blood.

B: Never met my real parents. According to my mom they gave me up because my real dad didn’t want a girl as a first born. So...

Javier: so i think--and pardon me for saying this--but your real parents should rot in hell.

B: LMAO thank you for standing in solidarity with me. 🥺

B: Anyway! There's also my ten-year-old daughter, Ellie.

B: I could I say I'm close to all of them, and I love them all very much. 💖

B: So yeah. That's pretty much it for me. How about you, sir?

J: well no need to address me as sir, ‘javi’ is just fine, your majesty.

B: Please, I’d also appreciate if you’d just call me Briony. 🥲

J: alright then :)

J: ok so i have a younger brother. his name is carlos. not sure if we’re close. he can be annoying and i know i can be annoying to him. or worse.

J: then darcy, my ex-wife. my bonita and scout, darcy’s kids from a previous relationship whom i both treat as if they were my own flesh and blood. greta, emma, leticia. i know it sounds strange and i won’t go deep into our affairs but all i can say is that even after all my shortcomings, they were still very generous enough to give me another chance. so i’m grateful for our blended family. 

J: as for my parents, well. mi padre--i mean my dad, our relationship was not exactly a good one. it’s more of like a professional relationship. he was only el jefe to us. nothing more.

J: my mamá, however, was the best of us. but my dad didn’t really treat her well so she ended up leaving.

B: Oh gods, I’m so sorry.

J: don’t be. my dad should be the one apologizing. 

B: This is probably the reason why they put us together here. We both have issues with our real parents.

J: jajajaja looks like it.

2. Who is your best friend? Tell us about them!

B: My best friend is my husband, and his name is Gladio. He looks absolutely mean and threatening because he’s 6′6″ but he’s just about the kindest and sweetest fella I’ve ever met. 

B: How about you, Javi?

J: not to put a damper on things but i don’t have one. a best friend, that is. 

B: You can’t be serious? But you seem so amiable. 

J: you are far too kind to me, briony. :)

B: Surely you had one before?

J: well... 

J: my ex-wife. i guess she was my best friend. we’re still friends now but our relationship is not like the one we had before. 

B: Oh. I see. 

B: Okay then, I won’t probe further. And I apologize for even broaching the subject. 

J: it’s alright, don’t worry about it. 

3. What is your favorite childhood memory?

J: so my mamá is a costume designer and she often took my brother and i to the local theatre to watch musicals and shakespearean plays. we would hang out backstage and we’d help out with everyone’s costumes. i love those days.

B: Your mother sounds like a lovely woman. 💖 

B: Which reminds me, when I was a kid, Mom would also take me to theatres and we’d watch all these plays, and we were always so fascinated with the music. Especially the costumes! The masks, the props, the entire production. And whenever we get home, she’d sit at the edge of my bed and we’d talk about it all night.

B: Thinking about it all makes me miss my childhood so much.

4. What is your least favorite childhood memory?

B: Now this is the question that makes me not miss my childhood at all LMAO

J: my sentiments exactly.

J: ladies first? jajaja

B: Fine. 

B: When I was ten, my hometown was invaded by the Empire. I watched as one of their generals killed our queen in front of her children, my childhood friends. I was separated from my Mom for a long time because of it. That’s when Cor found me and took me in.

B: I think that changed me.

B: Sorry, no—it really did change me. Made me really angry at the Empire. For a time, all I wanted was to hunt down every single Imperial soldier who killed my friends, who destroyed my home.

B: But at this point… I’m not so sure anymore. And I’m just tired of being angry, of being so lost.

J: it’s strange. your experience somehow reminds me of my own.

B: Really? How so?

J: my father runs a cartel for a living. one day a rival cartel broke into our house and beat the living daylights out of us. my mother included. i was 8, my brother was 5.

J: my father changed after that. i wasn’t surprised that he would want revenge; he has always been prideful, self-assured. but that incident… something about it made him ruthless. the way he treated my mother changed. he also changed how he treated my brother and i, most of all. he wanted us to be stronger, demanded us to do better. he even punished us for being weak.

J: about what you said about being angry for a time, he was angry for the rest of his life. he certainly made good of his promise that he would make the rival cartel pay, and pay they did with their life. i remember him bringing my brother and i to their hideout and showed us the bodies. everything was drenched in blood. when my brother started crying, my father forced him to look and said, “this is what i am willing to do for our family. i want you to stare at it. i don’t ever want you to cower in fear over this kind of violence, do you understand?”

J: so i guess long story short: my brother and i, we somehow inherited that anger. and we’re still paying the price.

J: and i know i’m the last person you’d want to hear this from, briony, considering i’m but a stranger to you… but i hope you don’t let your anger consume you. as someone who has ruined a lot of good things in my life: anger is poison. nothing good ever comes out of it.

5. What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

J: ay dios mío, finally an easier question to answer.

B: LMAOOO IKR

B: I’ll let you go first!

J: my most favourite thing to do in my free time is to cook, make wine, and to also spend time with scout and bonita.

J: how about you?

B: I love reading books and watching movies with my daughter. She’s also been very keen recently in making costumes ever since we started going to our community theatre so I reckon she and your mom would definitely get along.

J: oh for sure. :) scout enjoys hanging out in old bookstores and i can see you and him getting along, too.

B: I would certainly love to meet him! 💖 I have a good friend who tends to a humble little book shop in my city. He’d probably have a swell time there.

6. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

B: Why are these questions like a rollercoaster ride????? LMAO

B: The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do is to answer all of these. And we’re not even halfway there yet!

J: likewise jajaja

J: but kidding aside though, what is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

B: Hmmmmm. I’d say having to raise Ellie on my own in my early twenties. I didn’t know better at the time, and even though I’m thankful that I managed to get the support I need from Cor and my friends, it was still tough having a kid during a very tough time.

J: once again, you remind me of someone i know.

B: Really? Please do elaborate, if you don’t mind.

J: not at all. darcy had scout and bonita when she was in her twenties, too. i saw firsthand how difficult it had been for her—physically, emotionally, mentally. it took a toll on her once. bonita was at the peak of her tantrums and darcy screamed at her, too, telling her, “you think your life’s hard? you’re just a bloody baby! you don’t have the right to cry!”

B: Okay, I know how stressful that situation is because I have to admit, I had a similar experience with Ellie when she was a baby. I was so stressed at work and so I cried with her when she started throwing a tantrum.

B: Being a mother is hard work. My heart goes out to Darcy, truly.

B: But honestly whenever I think about that time now, I just find it hilarious. There I was, unable to afford therapy, so I was having a breakdown with my baby LMAO

B: I do hope Darcy finds that time as something she could laugh about now.

J: oh she does. she’s very transparent to the twins and she’s shared with them her lowest moments as their mum often as a light-hearted anecdote.

J: but i have to say—despite that, all darcy’s self-deprecating jokes aside, scout and bonita are very much understanding of their mum’s circumstances, which only goes to show how she has beautifully raised the twins. bonita is especially well aware that she can be a pain in the ass and that she’s glad her mum just cried with her even when she was a baby if it meant having to get a proper scolding without her understanding a single word.

B: So… would you count that as the hardest thing you ever had to do? Raising the kids together?

J: not really, no. i mean raising the twins was hard but it’s the kind of hard that feels so easy? i hope that makes sense.

B: Yup, it does. I get it. I felt the same way with Ellie.

J: so yeah. i suppose having to leave them that is the hardest.

B: How so?

J: because i ended up hurting them.

B: Can I ask you something?

J: sure, go ahead.

B: You still love her, don’t you?

J: yes. i suppose you can say that the other hardest thing i had to do is how to stop loving her.

J: clearly i’m not very good as it.

7. Who do you look up to?

B: My Mom and Cor, for sure.

J: i’m not sure…

B: Do you mind if I take a wild guess?

J: sure, go shoot your shot.

B: You look up to Darcy. What you’re not sure about is whether to share that information or not.

J: i’m starting to hate how astute you are, Your Majesty.

B: HAHAHAHA

B: Why thank you very much. 🥰

8. What do you think had the biggest impact on you growing up?

B: Javi and I both agree that our answer here is the same as the one we gave in #4 LMAO

9. Are you a spiritual person?  If yes, what do you practice?

J: i was raised a catholic but now i really don’t practice anything.

B: As for me, I was certainly raised to practice not giving a fuck about the gods.

10. Where were you born?  Where did you grow up?  Where do you live now?

B: Born and raised partly in Tenebrae and currently living here once more. The rest of my childhood was spent between Leide and Insomnia.

J: born and spent most of my childhood in la paz, bolivia until my family and i were moving between one south american city after another in my teens. now i live in kent.

11. What is your favorite type of media (TV, movie, books, etc)?  Name some specific favorites (which shows, movies, books, etc do you like)!

B: Books all the way. And Pablo Neruda has a special place in my heart.

J: it would be movies for me. i am particularly fond of historical drama and war films and my current favourite would be the one scout recommended that i watch, which was the pianist.

12. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? (on vacation or permanently!)

B: I’m actually interested to go and see where you live, Javi.

J: i could say the same with you.

B: I guess we could exchange cities for a while for a vacation, no?

J: a wonderful idea. you can run my winery and i would…?

B: attend meetings with my advisors, hold court for tenebraeans needing counsel, and help my husband train my queensguard.

J: great. i think i’ll just stick to my winery then.

B: LMAO

13. You’re given an unlimited budget to build anything you want!  What do you build and where do you build it?

B: Rebuild the cities destroyed by the Empire, restore Tenebrae’s historical sights, improve the transport system, create more creative spaces for young people, among many other things.

J: i don’t think i could follow from that excellent response but all i could think of is the same thing but i’ll do it in la paz. fix everything that the cartels have destroyed.

14. What are your favorite music genres?

B: Indie rock and pop and classical.

J: Jazz. And classical, too.

15. Do you play any instruments?  Which ones?  How long have you been playing?

B: Unfortunately I can’t play shit for the life of me LMAO

B: Javi?

J: i’m strangely proud to admit that i do know how to play the guitar. my mother taught me when i was very young and it’s how we spent most of our time together: me playing her favourite songs while she sings along.

16. Describe your perfect day.

B: Breakfast with Gladio and Ellie, a quiet time in the library, a nice swim down at Zoldara Lake, and a day without me having to go about any royal duties. All four would in one day would be absolutely perfect.

J: A good cup of coffee, a walk down the vineyard, drive around town, getting some time with the twins.

17. What makes you laugh?

B: Ellie’s actually pretty funny and witty so she’s the one who makes me laugh the most.

J: bonita made me watch these silly videos of cats from this social media platform and i hate to even admit this but those are funny.

B: I didn’t peg you as someone who would enjoy cat videos. Color me surprised.

18. What’s the best way to cheer you up?

B: A good glass of wine should do the trick.

J: funny you should mention that because wine also cheers me up and i happen to have a winery.

B: Yes that’s me saying I would appreciate a bottle every now and then. As a treat.

19. What makes you sad?

J: can we skip this one?

B: Absolutely not.

J: okay then i guess what makes me sad is thinking about the things i’ve done in the past.

J: your turn

B: I’d say… thinking about the time I lost Ellie’s dad.

20. Describe your biggest pet peeve.

B: Idiots.

J: same.

B: Also people who are just deliberately unkind and those who refuse to change.

J: as bonita would say… big samesies

21. Describe your ideal partner.

B: I am very fortunate to have married my ideal partner and best friend.

J: then i guess i’m very much unfortunate that my ideal partner and i have already divorced.

B: Javi, I shit you not, after this interview I will hook you up with someone.

22. What’s the easiest way to flirt with you?

B: Here’s the thing… sometimes I can be completely oblivious with how flirting works. Which drives my husband mad at times because he’ll be doing this extraordinarily sweet thing and it just registers to me as him being awfully nice because there’s a special occasion LMAO

J: now that’s a relief to hear

B: LOL why!!

J: i just realized that i’m not as awkward as i think i am jajaja

B: HAHAHAH

J: to be perfectly honest, i can quickly get on with it through text or anything in the written form, which is probably the easiest way that anyone could flirt with me. but if it’s done in person, i do have the awful tendency to be oblivious. i have a number of people who have pointed this out, my brother most especially.

B: Now I’m curious to know: how did you and Darcy even started dating when you’re this awkward little duck? Like how did you even flirt with her?

J: texting was still not a thing at that time so i wrote her letters and poems.

B: Are you serious?? you say you’re awkward at flirting when you WROTE HER POEMS? Get the fuck outta here!!

23. Have you ever had a crush on someone?  Do you have a crush now?

B: Um, yes. And not to be an absolute sap but my crush now is my husband?

J: don’t worry, that is completely valid.

24. What would you consider your main love language?

B: I can’t say I only have one main love language; I’m actually inclined on both quality time and acts of service, for sure. I love doing things for the ones I love and whenever I get to spend time with them, and I very much appreciate it when they do the same.

J: i’m a quality time kind of guy, and also physical touch. it is certainly nice to hold someone you love and to be held by them.

B: Goddamn the poet jumped out, good sir! 🤭