#than when i watched it the first time. his hashtag influence

[wuntrum]

I WOULD HAVE DONE TONS OF COCAINE WITH YOU, AND KEPT YOU ALIVE FOREVER.

[sanarsi]

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Hello to everyone interested in this year's Kinktober by me!

Here you will find a few things I would like you to familiarize yourself with:

All stories are written by me and all of them are intended for MDNI so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

All stories are fiction and are not intended to offend anyone.

This is Kinktober with only Pedro Pascal characters such as:

Joel Miller – The Last of Us Oberyn Martell – Game of Thrones Din Djarin – The Mandalorian Javier Peña – Narcos Jack Daniels “Agent Whiskey” – Kingsman: The Golden Circle Francisco (Frankie) “Catfish” Morales – Triple Frontier Marcus Moreno – We Can Be Heroes Dieter Bravo – The Bubble Reed Richards – The Fantastic Four: First Steps Marcus Acacius – Gladiator 2

Please read the warnings under each of the works I wrote before reading and do not interact if any of them discourage you. Some stories are not for everyone and that's okay!

I do not allow my works to be copied and distributed without my consent.

All works will be available under this hashtag - #sanarsi kinktober 2024

Main Masterlist

Day 1 – Threesome

QZ!Joel Miller x f!Reader x QZ!Tess

You have no way to pay for the goods. Tess finds a way for you to pay, Joel joins with pleasure.

Day 2 – Hunter/Prey

dark!Din Djarin x f!Reader

Din has one problem with you, you often like to run away from him. Luckily he loves playing this game with you.

Day 3 – Monsterfucking

monster!Oberyn Martell x f!Reader

Your poison lessons with Oberyn went wrong when he accidentally drank the wrong potion.

Day 4 – Food play

Marcus Acacius x prostitute!f!Reader

General likes to brighten up his evenings with your companion. This time he's in the mood for more fun.

Day 5 – Edgeplay

dark!Din Djarin x f!Reader

Din learns to control the new power that has been given to him. However, the Darksaber has an influence on its owner and you will be the first to know about it.

Day 6 – Pregnancy

husband!Jack Daniels x wife!f!Reader

Jack finally made you carry his baby. The sight of you with your rounded belly makes him unable to get enough of you.

Day 7 – Sensory Deprivation

boyfriend!Frankie Morales x f!Reader

You and Frankie like to experiment in bed and this time you took the initiative to play with him.

Day 8 – Uniforms

husband!Reed Richards x wife!f!Reader

You try on your new uniform for the first time. Reed can't keep his hands to himself at the sight of you.

Day 9 – Massaging

Javier Peña x prostitute!f!Reader

Javier is one of your regular and favorite clients. You are always willing to fulfill all his requests but today he needed more from you than just sex.

Day 10 – Knife play

post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

After Joel killed all of your comrades, he kept you as a reward. Unfortunately, you weren't willing to cooperate, so he used more drastic methods to make you obey him.

Day 11 – Face Sitting

Dieter Bravo x f!Reader

Dieter has run out of drugs, so he asks you to keep him occupied.

Day 12 – Handjob

Oberyn Martell x prostitute!f!Reader

Oberyn is busy discussing important matters for the kingdom but he can't resist taking care of you as you sit thirsty on his lap.

Day 13 – Bondage

Din Djarin x f!Reader

Din tests new bondage techniques on you and decides to take advantage of how defenseless you are.

Day 14 – Sex Toys

husband!Marcus Moreno x wife!f!Reader

You and Marcus have decided to spice up your married life, so you're more than willing to let him test out on you the toys he bought.

Day 15 – Gun play

Javier Peña x prostitute!f!Reader

You've always been interested in Javier's work, but you've never brought it up with him before. He finally decides to show you what a DEA agent is capable of.

Day 16 – Wax play

lover!Marcus Acacius x f!Reader

Marcus loves watching you arch in pleasure beneath him, but he loves watching you squeal in pain and pleasure even more.

Day 17 – Mirror Sex

coworker!Jack Daniels x f!Reader

One of your missions went wrong and you ended up stuck in a mirror maze.

Day 18 – Nipple play

Dieter Bravo x f!Reader

Dieter loves spending lazy evenings cuddled up to you, but sometimes he also likes to interrupt you a little while you're reading a book.

Day 19 – Thigh Riding

Din Djarin x f!Reader

Din is often busy piloting the ship, which is why he doesn't have as much time for you as he would like, and because of that he doesn't mind for you using him for your own pleasure.

Day 20 – Double Penetration

Reed Richards x f!Reader x Marcus Moreno

Two superheroes have decided to save you from trouble, and you want to repay them.

Day 21 – Bath Sex

Jack Daniels x f!Reader

You were used to Jack often coming back hurt and sore. You always took care of him after each mission and bandaged his wounds but this time he needed more than just a few bandages.

Day 22 – Teasing

fiancé!Javier Peña x f!Reader

Your fiancé can't keep his hands to himself even when you're at a family dinner

Day 23 – Glory Hole

Dieter Bravo x f!Reader

Dieter sometimes had drug cravings and now he found himself in one. He didn't know how he ended up at a run-down gas station in the middle of the night but he knew he had met a nice woman who wanted to make his time more pleasant.

Day 24 – Voyeurism

Oberyn Martell x prostitute!f!Reader

Oberyn liked to please himself in many ways. Today he wanted to watch you and your friend have some fun together.

Day 25 – Somnophilia

boyfriend!Frankie Morales x f!Reader

Frankie often likes to cuddle in his sleep. He is also very sensitive to your touch, which is why you can't help yourself when he moans your name in his sleep again.

Day 26 – Ice play

pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Joel uses every moment your daughter is away to keep you in bed. He also likes to spice up your sex life with things he reads on the internet.

Day 27 – Public Sex

boyfriend!Frankie Morales x f!Reader

Your trip to see a movie took an unexpected turn when it turned out you were almost alone in the cinema.

Day 28 – Dom/Sub

lover!Marcus Acacius x f!Reader

After his failed conversation with the Emperor, Marcus needs to feel like he's in control of everything. You just so happen to be everything to him.

Day 29 – Period Sex

husband!Marcus Moreno x wife!f!Reader

Your husband helps you with period pain.

Day 30 – Praise Kink

Reed Richards x student!f!Reader

Reed likes to reward you for a job well done.

Day 31 – Hate Fucking

coworker!Jack Daniels x f!Reader

Another mission with Agent Whiskey tests your patience to the limits. The dislike is mutual, so you end up in each other's arms to numb the negative emotions.

COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

[n1ght0f-nyx]

mha boys with their quirkless au! jobs- Headcanons

i got bored and im procrastinating actual fics so here this is ig!! characters- izuku midoryria, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, denki kamanari, ejirio Kirishima, fumikage tokoyami, koji koda, mezo shoji, tamaki amajiki, hanta sero, tenya iida

Izuku Midoriya - Detective or Analyst

Majorly detail-oriented, he over-prepares and strategizes with backup plans for his backup plans.

Known for highly detailed reports; they’re both impressive and a tad overwhelming.

Can get totally absorbed in research, like spending entire days analyzing social media for clues.

Frequently says, "The clues were there—you just had to look," as if narrating a detective show.

Runs on coffee and protein bars, completely invested in his cases.

His desk looks chaotic with notes and photos scattered everywhere, but he knows exactly where everything is.

Becomes the “did you know?” person at social gatherings, sharing obscure trivia.

His obsessive streak makes him revisit case files repeatedly.

Gets overly excited about new gadgets, especially anything with a “zoom and enhance” function.

Katsuki Bakugo - Personal Trainer or Chef

Commands with intensity, whether grilling someone in the gym or grilling steaks in the kitchen.

In the gym, he pushes clients to their limits, which they both dread and love him for.

He’s as knowledgeable about nutrition as he is about weightlifting—skip his advice at your peril.

Takes skipping leg day personally, calling it "a disgrace to all athletes."

Wins every cook-off but hates it when people compliment his food; he’s all business in the kitchen.

Runs his kitchen like boot camp—there’s no messing around under his watch.

Works out even on his days off; he’s fueled by the grind.

Secretly rolls his eyes at fitness influencers but will do a protein shake tutorial for cash.

Yells, “Do you want to stay weak?!” if he catches anyone cheating reps.

“Self-care” to him is just a mental strength exercise; you toughen up or move out.

Shoto Todoroki - Lawyer or Therapist

Reserved and perceptive, he’d be a formidable lawyer, calm and unshakable in court.

Not overly enthusiastic about his work, but he knows he’s great at it.

While people think he’s distant, he’s actually very empathetic and insightful.

Straightforward yet gentle, his clients appreciate his no-nonsense therapeutic approach.

As a lawyer, he’d specialize in taking down the unjust, handling high-stakes cases with ease.

Owns a vast collection of ties, barely noticing the variety himself but others sure do.

Prefers listening, making his quiet presence seem mysterious.

Treats himself to something small after big victories, like a quiet solo ice cream celebration.

Misses jokes occasionally, but people find his delayed reactions endearing.

Known for offering thoughtful advice, especially to those questioning life choices.

Denki Kaminari - DJ or Social Media Influencer

Natural at hyping up a crowd, making DJing feel effortless.

All about good vibes, even if it means playing crowd-pleasers more than deep cuts.

Boasts a huge social media following, constantly interacting with fans.

Always a few days behind trends but plays it off like he’s an innovator.

Gets sidetracked on live streams, responding to comments like he’s hanging out with friends.

Calls his fans “Denki-squad” and treats them like his close pals.

Buys flashy gadgets that he half-understands how to use, just for the aesthetic.

Always “goes live” if anything remotely exciting is happening around him.

Knows every meme song, dropping them like he's got an internal playlist.

Excessive with hashtags, yet somehow it works for his brand.

Eijiro Kirishima - Firefighter or Construction Worker

First in line to respond to an emergency, he’d run into a burning building without hesitation.

Embodies responsibility, always ready to go above and beyond.

Dedicates free time to community projects like building playgrounds.

Known for drinking multiple protein shakes daily to keep up his strength.

Takes pride in being reliable, volunteering for extra shifts to support the team.

Appears in firefighter calendars, where his popularity skyrockets.

Has a small following of neighborhood kids who adore him.

Constantly cracks dad jokes, his hearty laugh always filling the room.

Gets good-natured ribbing from his friends, but his solid character makes it easy to take.

Saves lives like it’s just another day, then heads to the gym for an after-work workout.

Fumikage Tokoyami - Poet or Author

Writes in dim, cozy coffee shops with dark, atmospheric vibes.

Known for abstract poetry that sometimes only he fully grasps.

When he’s not writing, he’s buried in gothic literature.

Runs a mysterious blog where he posts poems and eerie stories.

Takes his coffee black, no sugar—anything else would compromise the flavor.

Friends think he’s enigmatic, though he’s simply introverted.

Dresses like every day is a moody poetry reading, favoring dark attire and unique accessories.

Quietly garners a following for his “haunting” works but never tells a soul.

Rarely performs live, but when he does, he’s met with enthusiastic finger-snaps.

Keeps a journal that’s practically sacred—he won’t let anyone read it.

Koji Koda - Park Ranger or Vet Tech

Gentle with every creature, treating each animal encounter like a treasured interaction.

Knows endless animal facts, stopping hikes to point out specific birds and plants.

Considers the forest a second home and refers to animals by names he’s given them.

Animals instinctively trust him; he’s practically an animal whisperer.

Loves natural remedies and can talk about herbs like they’re magic.

Has a way of convincing people to adopt pets because they’re just “so cute.”

Blushes when praised for his kindness; it’s just who he is.

Popular with kids who love his animal knowledge and gentle nature.

Known for leading long, informative nature walks, always taking his time.

Prefers animals over people most days and has countless photos of rescued animals.

Mezo Shoji - Wilderness Survival Guide or Youth Counselor

The “quiet giant” on outdoor trips, guiding with a protective watch over everyone.

Preps gear meticulously, never forgetting a single item.

Has a knack for discovering secluded, scenic camping spots.

Amazing with kids, his steady nature makes him a beloved camp counselor.

Has a calm, reassuring vibe that draws people in effortlessly.

Knows endless survival skills; always has a tip or trick in his back pocket.

Enjoys nighttime hikes, talking about constellations in a thoughtful, poetic way.

Treats each trip like an important bonding experience, bringing the group together.

Carries spare marshmallows because he knows someone always forgets.

Compassionate and patient, especially with less outdoorsy folks, quietly setting them at ease.

Tamaki Amajiki - Marine Biologist or Florist

Thrives quietly in his element, tending to ocean life or delicate blooms.

Committed to preserving marine habitats, he’s passionate but too shy to boast.

His deep knowledge surprises people when he speaks up, making an impact.

Friends are amazed by his niche knowledge—he could ramble about coral reefs for hours.

His floral arrangements are carefully crafted, almost reverent in their precision.

Quietly determined to protect the environment, joining cleanups or advocacy events.

Adds hidden messages to flower arrangements, though few notice the subtle artistry.

In marine biology, he’s published numerous papers on sea creatures, always under the radar.

Works with kids effortlessly, they love his gentle explanations.

Finds joy in rare plants or marine life, though he blushes if anyone mentions it.

Hanta Sero - Event Planner or Stunt Coordinator

Organized to the last detail, he keeps his events running like clockwork.

Can handle last-minute emergencies with a calm, “I got this” approach.

In the stunt world, he’s dedicated to safety, while making things fun and exciting.

Adrenaline junkie, he loves ziplining, bungee jumping, and anything that feels risky.

He’s a great listener, always taking others’ ideas to make events inclusive.

Stays cool under pressure, adapting quickly to whatever comes his way.

Good at making tiny changes on the fly, never losing sight of the big picture.

Finds the best deals for supplies, he’s got a knack for party logistics.

Ensures killer sound systems, knowing good music elevates any event.

Somehow pulls off a laid-back vibe even while he’s juggling a million tasks.

Tenya Iida - Professor or Physical Trainer

The professor who hands out a 20-page syllabus but genuinely believes it’s necessary.

Known for his strict yet fair approach, he challenges students but offers support.

Obsessive about lesson plans, updating them constantly for “maximum efficiency.”

In the gym, he’s relentless about proper form and discipline.

Can’t handle slacking, probably shuts the door precisely five minutes after class starts.

Students tease him, but they secretly appreciate his rigor and dedication.

Motivated by improvement, he’s always seeking ways to upgrade his methods.

Hyped to offer inspirational speeches that are almost intimidating in their passion.

Puts extra time into student support; he’s the go-to for anyone serious about self-betterment.

[thebroccolination]

KRIST CAN’T LIE AND IS RIDICULOUS ABOUT SENPAI: VOLUME #39,573

In 2019, Singto starred in He’s Coming to Me opposite Ohm Pawat. It’s really underappreciated, and I highly recommend it. Singto is the cutest ghost in the whole afterlife.

Now, for additional context:

In early 2019, Singto was twenty-four, Krist was twenty-three, and the World of BL was Different. Branded pairs were a thing, but not like they are now.

SOTUS in 2016 saved GMMTV from bankruptcy and changed the industry. As I understand it from interviews with Krist and Singto as well as accounts from fans who were there at the time, although KristSingto were staggeringly popular, GMMTV saw SOTUS, Krist, and Singto as individual cash cows. BL wasn’t a money-printing hashtag-focused influencer lifestyle yet, so GMMTV seemed to hedge their bets. They made a thousand SOTUS events, pressed Krist into Leading Lakorn Man where the stable, dependable money was at the time, and kind of let Singto do whatever. Plus, Krist and Singto had different managers (Yui for Krist and Jane for Singto) and different interests and goals as far as their careers: Krist loves music, Singto loves photography, Krist wanted to be a musician, Singto wanted to be a director, Krist wanted to branch out into new areas of entertainment, and Singto wanted to study directing in California. They were able to be KristSingto: Kings of Couples, while exploring their talents and aspirations outside the growing expectations of a branded pair.

In an interview with Attitude in 2018 to promote their episode of Our Skyy as Kongphob and Arthit from SOTUS, Krist and Singto said they’d follow GMMTV’s direction as far as their series went from then on.

But Krist didn’t have to be happy about some of those directions.

One of the first things I learned about Krist as a person is that he was very, very vocally possessive of Singto when he was younger.

Go search “KristSingto jealous” on YouTube and enjoy the feast. They were both possessive, but where Krist utilized pouting and looking generally miserable, Singto would just calmly and physically remove people from Krist’s vicinity.

When Friendzone aired in 2018, Krist famously told interviewers with a maybe, possibly, half-joking sulking smile that he didn’t want to watch the series because he didn’t want to see Singto with other men.

(And then interfans disingenuously edited and recontextualized the clip so it would seem like he said he didn’t want to watch men kissing men…y’know, the thing he’s famous for. And proud of. And won’t stop telling people about. For years. Mr. “Please Let Me Play the Top” Mr. “Please Tell GMMTV You Want to See KristSingto in Another Series Together” Mr. “This Man’s Lap Is My Pillow and So Is This Man’s and This Man’s” Mr. “Please Ship Me and Gun” Mr. “I Asked Off for Permission to Sexy-Dance with His Husband”—mmmm.)

Now, before I show this clip, I just want to say that this was years ago and Krist has always loved Ohm—he’s just ridiculous about Singto. You thought I was exaggerating the “sulking and looking generally miserable” thing, didn’t you?

Seriously, go watch some things on YouTube. With popcorn.

[And before you think this was just a Krist issue, Singto one thousand percent encouraged it by openly thinking it was cute.]

[Prachaya, stop tormenting the turtle.]

Like, this isn’t a shipping thing, and he’s (mostly) grown out of it now. Krist is just very, very affectionate with his friends and seems to be sincerely afraid of being left behind. Famously, to make himself cry for the scene between Kongphob and Arthit in the Our Skyy episode, Krist imagined how he’d feel when Singto inevitably left Thailand to study abroad. (He ended up crying early and way harder than the script called for, and Kongphob’s surprise is at least a little bit Singto’s genuine reaction.)

Plus, y’know, Krist is and always has been a fiery babygirl of impulse, Singto is Senpai, and just. Even though their relationship is platonic, there’s a reason everyone thought they were dating in 2017, and there’s a reason that even as recent as 2021, Singto and Krist were both complaining that no one took them seriously as dating prospects because everyone still thought they were dating. In fairness, they’ve both been single since SOTUS, and they’re both ridiculous about each other, so there you go. Blame the victims. Wheeeee~ #SelectiveVictimBlaming2024

Anyway! In 2018, at what I think was GMMTV’s showcase for their 2019 lineup, Krist and Singto were together onstage, unmic’d, just standing there representing their respective, separate series.

For some reason (probably) lost to time, Krist turned to Singto and said, “I hate Qingming,” the shortened title for He’s Coming to Me.

Smiling, Singto said, “Not now. We’re working.”

Krist doubled down and said, “I don’t like it.”

In the longer clip, Krist kept sulking and Singto smiled at him with open amusement. Like I said: he fully thought it was cute and did the bare minimum to discourage it, because he’s ridiculous too.

Later, at the fan greeting, Krist was doing the typical, “Please support me and P’Sing in our projects this year,” and a giddy fan called out, “BUT YOU HATE QINGMING THOUGH HUH.”

This is where someone more adept at lying would say, “Of course not, kind fan, for I am always supportive of Senpai’s other series. I am a mature paragon of self-esteem and in no way extremely possessive of My Senpai Who Is Mine.”

Instead, this happened:

“HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT.”

WKDLSJDKSJ

K R I S T

So yes, Krist can’t lie. He’s never been able to lie. He’s pure honesty and deep sincerity and high emotion all the time.

Now, once again, he was twenty-three, he was just being a brat for brat’s sake, and he never had an issue with Ohm. He was probably just afraid he wouldn’t get to work with Singto anymore since Singto was always very open about his intentions to study abroad and then transition to behind-the-scenes work as a director, so the longer GMMTV went without giving KristSingto a series, I imagine the less likely it probably seemed to Krist, who really wanted to act with Singto again and did not shut up about it for years.

This has been Krist Can’t Lie and Is Ridiculous About Senpai: Volume #39,573.

[This is a whole other story. Have a great day.]

[beardedmrbean]

Does it count as sexual harassment if an assault lasts less than 10 seconds?

Many young people in Italy are expressing outrage on social media, after a judge cleared a school caretaker of groping a teenager, because it did not last long enough.

The case involves a 17-year-old student at a Rome high school.

She described walking up a staircase to class with a friend, when she felt her trousers fall down, a hand touching her buttocks and grabbing her underwear.

"Love, you know I was joking," the man told her when she turned around.

After the incident, which happened in April 2022, the student reported the caretaker, 66-year-old Antonio Avola, to police.

He admitted to groping the student without consent, but said it was a joke.

A Rome public prosecutor asked for a three-and-a-half year prison sentence but this week the caretaker was acquitted of sexual assault charges. According to the judges, what happened "does not constitute a crime" because it lasted less than 10 seconds.

Since the ruling, palpata breve - a brief groping - has become a trend on Instagram and TikTok in Italy, along with the #10secondi hashtag.

Italians have posted videos looking at the camera in silence and touching their intimate parts for 10 seconds straight.

The videos are often uncomfortable to watch but they have the aim of showing just how long 10 seconds can feel.

The first was posted by White Lotus actor Paolo Camilli, and since then thousands of people have followed suit.

Another video was reposted by Chiara Ferragni, Italy's most famous influencer who has 29.4 million followers on Instagram.

Another influencer, Francesco Cicconetti wrote on TikTok: "Who decides that 10 seconds is not a long time? Who times the seconds, while you're being harassed?"

"Men don't have the right to touch women's bodies, not even for a second - let alone 5 or 10."

He goes on to say that the judges' decision to acquit the caretaker shows just how normalised sexual harassment is in Italian society.

A post on the Freeda Instagram account says: "This sentence is absurd. The duration of the harassment should not diminish its severity."

But according to the judges, the caretaker did not linger. He groped the teenager only briefly, performing an "awkward manoeuvre without lust".

"The judges ruled that he was joking? Well, it was no joke to me," the student told Corriere della Sera newspaper.

"The caretaker came up from behind without saying anything. He put his hands down my trousers and inside my underwear.

"He groped my bottom. Then, he pulled me up - hurting my private parts. For me, this is not a joke. This is not how an old man should 'joke' with a teenager."

"That handful of seconds was more than enough for the caretaker to make me feel his hands on me."

She says she feels doubly betrayed - by her school and by the justice system.

"I'm starting to think I was wrong to trust the institutions. This is not justice."

The student fears the judges' ruling will deter girls and women from coming forward if they are subjected to such attacks.

Recent figures from the EU's Fundamental Rights Agency (FRA) suggested that 70% of Italian woman who had suffered harassment between 2016 and 2021 did not report the incident.

"They will feel that reporting abuse is just not worth it. But it is important, because silence protects the aggressors."

[princessofprocrastination]

She’s Creepy (Dream)

MASTERLIST

pairing : dream / clay x reader. 

summary : apparently being a huge fan of a big youtuber is considered being a creep, according to minecraft gamer, dream. and ever since he called you mean things, your world turned upside down. (ANGST) (TRIGGER WARNING)

a/n : i’m aware i’ve been writing all angsts, i just enjoy a little heartbreak. this is a two part story!

you haven’t been on social media as a public figure for long, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been on social media before this.

you knew people, you had people you look up to, as of many other social media influencers or content creators. 

you grew pretty quick on youtube and instagram. your content mostly included room makeovers whenever you felt bored of your own home or your storytimes. you blew up from talking about your stalker. 

since then, your subscibers stayed with you and supported you, saying that you have a charm, and that you exert good energy and vibes. and those type of comments have always made your day.

you always shared with your supporters about your life, not too personal but enough for them to feel included. of course, you’re not telling them your phone number or address, but you tried to share as many details you can legally in your story times. 

that also meant that you would tell your supporters small details about you, such as what book you were currently reading or who you’ve been watching on youtube. 

even before you stated posting on your channel, you’ve been watching a minecraft youtuber, dream and his friends. 

some of your fans would tag them in some of your instagram posts, or tweets that brought no harm so you never really acknowledged it since it wasn’t hurting anyone. 

you weren’t “fangirling” you’d say. it was more of you supported them and found them funny and entertaining. 

coincidentally, you landed yourself on the dream team tiktok, which means that dream and his friends were all over you for you page. 

and to show that you were active and not dead to your followers on instagram, you’d post a funny tiktok, usually included the dream team. you thought it was harmless. to you, it was just a way to show support. 

but only a couple days later, hashtags about you and the dream team, more specifically, just dream, were trending. 

when you saw this, opening your twitter app, you immediately went to find out what this was about. your heart jumped when you thought maybe dream acknowledged you. 

in fact, it was worse. 

what was trending was a short video clip during one of the dream teams chill streams on the dream smp. 

the conversation between george, sapnap and dream went like this. 

“you guys heard about that girl who kept reposting tiktoks about us on her instagram story?” george asked the other two boys. 

“heard she watched us before she even started her channel” sapnap. 

“i don’t know about you guys, but i think she’s being a little creepy.” dream said. 

your heart sunk to your stomach. did your actions portray you to be a creep to other people?

“dream, you can’t just say that, especially on stream.” sapnap scolded him, george also mumbling something. 

“why can’t i? i feel creeped out by her, a public figure posting me all over her socials.” dream replied, tone serious. 

you clicked off the video, before it replayed again. you couldn’t get yourself to rewatch that, to hear those words again. 

almost crying, you told yourself to suck it up, that this wasn’t worth you crying. 

although they were who you looked up as minecraft gamers, this wasn’t worth your breakdowns. 

that was until, you opened your direct messages.

you shouldn’t have. you knew the dream team stans would easily hunt you down, to ask you to back off from creeping their idol off. 

but no, you still opened your dms. you expected a normal dm, ones that say they support you or some of your friends sending you memes through instagram. 

what you didn’t expect was to see a flood of threats. 

some said “kill yourself, you don’t deserve a spot on earth after what you did.” and “back off and leave my mans.” 

it got worse from there. you thought maybe it’s just the dms, but you didn’t expect it to blow up more, with people tagging you with photos on instagram and twitter. people “cancelling” you. 

you didn’t understand how this blew up like this. you were even more baffled to see some of your supporters sending you threats, too. 

was this what you deserved? 

you weren’t one to make rash decisions, nor were you a suicidal person. 

you felt stupid. just because you supported big youtubers, you get this type of treatment?

the threats, the dm, never stopped. for three whole months, you had to deal with the never ending mean comments on your social media. you thought it would die down. 

it came to the point of seeing your address and your phone number all over the internet. you never thought it would lead to this. 

you didn’t know what to do anymore. 

not long after, people started showing up to your apartment. 

sure, your apartment didn’t have the best of security, which you blamed no one but yourself for being a public figure and living somewhere with little to no security. 

they started with knocking on your door during ungodly hours. next was mailing weird stuff or sending stuff to your house. lastly, which tipped you off was that they would vandalize your apartment. 

they would egg your front door, pee, or spray paint your walls of the outside. 

you couldn’t handle it anymore. 

soon enough, you knew you had to stand up for yourself. you had to call the police. 

and that was exactly what you did. you called the authorities, which made the brave teenagers leave you alone. 

while they were egging your house and making your life miserable, you knew this was the only time for you to make a rash decision. to leave the country, to somewhere no one else would fine you at. somewhere unpredictable, that no one would expect you to go.

it took a lot for you to book a plane ticket, box up your belongings and move to a completely different country, away from your hometown, florida. 

you loved it in florida. though it was humid all the time, you enjoyed it. now that you had to leave, you only had a little while to cherish it before you leave it all behind. 

and your family, your friends. the ones you’ve grown up with, ones you’ve grown to love and cherish. you had to leave that too. and without telling them too much information. 

that hurt the most, needing to leave your loved ones behind, to start a new life, to start afresh. 

-

DREAM’S POV

i didn’t know what was happening. one thing added onto another and soon it was out of control. 

i didn’t say anything at the start, not thinking it would go this far. i didn’t know to what extent my fans would go.

sure, i saw all the things happening, but i didn’t do anything to stop it. 

i saw her address and phone number all over social media, and did nothing about it. 

george and sapnap said something, and pushed me to do something about it, but i didn’t. i was stubborn.

speaking of, it’s been months since i heard anything about her from her herself, everything i see is from my fans or hers, wondering where she is.

should i be worried?

-

YOUR POV

you left florida. the only people you told were your parents and your childhood friend, not trusting anyone else. 

what you told them was vague, that you needed to leave, away from the US. specifically, you moved to Australia. 

you made a decision to not live near the city, but the outskirts. 

you were lucky that you weren’t a spender and you made more than enough money to make the decision to leave so suddenly. 

lucky for you, you went to college and had a degree in law, so you didn’t need to worry about not having a job.

you never thought you’d make use of your degree this early in your life, thinking that youtube and being a content creator would last a little while longer. 

you had to change you hairstyles, your fashion in general since you had to be in a more professional setting. although it was hard transitioning from a casual wear and having crazy coloured hair to wearing pant suits or formal dresses and going back your natural colour. 

three years. it took you three full years for you to even think of visiting your parents in florida again. also, given the fact that you had a stable job and you couldn’t up and leave. 

but recently, you were offered to work at another law firm in florida. you were happy to tell that to your family back home but at the same time, you were hesitant to go back to your nightmares. 

but you braved yourself, since you missed your family dearly. 

now, you were sitting on your desk in your cozy home, finalizing up the last of your move, like getting a house back in florida, this time with a better security just in case. 

boxes of your clothes and belongings went first, to reach your new house there before you did so it was easier for you, not having to worry about your stuff. 

you asked none of your family’s help, not wanting to burden them. instead you told them to just meet you at a restaurant you booked for you and your family and friends for dinner about three weeks after you landed. 

although they protested, saying it was too long until they can see you again, you told them to not worry and that you were going to use those three weeks to start working at the new law firm.

you decided to take a straight flight from australia to florida, not wasting any time. although it was almost a twenty-two hour long flight, you sat throug and got to your hometown safely. 

you didn’t know what was going on with the three boys you used to adore, since you didn’t have social media anymore. 

but you didn’t mind it, it was peaceful. 

two weeks since you’ve stepped foot in florida again. it felt amazing to breathe your hometown air again. it was refreshing. 

you have fully settled in your new house, and workplace. you were glad to have met your co-workers. they were all super welcoming and made sure you weren’t left behind in anything. 

so far, your transition from australia to florida has been smooth, and you weren’t worried about anything. 

you got a car since you’ve arrived, so that you could travel easily from one place to another. 

not to brag, but. you were making enough money to live a lavish lifestyle. a big house and a pretty expensive car, and that didn’t even make a dent in your bank account. 

you were proud to see that you achieved all this yourself, and only within a couple of years. 

you were just excited to meet your family in real life instead of facetime. 

finally, the day of the dinner with your family came. unfortunately, you had to take a case in the afternoon, so you had to come to dinner in your work pant suit, with a turtleneck and a little late. 

they understood it and told you not to worry about it, and that they would just seat themselves by your name instead of waiting for you. you promised you’d pay their dinners and apologized once again. 

the sound of your heels comforted you as you walked from the valet to the restaurant. you were a little nervous to meet them again face to face after three years. but you couldn’t wait to catch up with them and tell them all about your work life that you could never tell them during the facetime calls. 

you smiled to yourself, thinking nothing could go wrong. and nothing could really go wrong anyways, it was just a dinner after all.

but you hadn’t expected the three boys you used to idolize to be eating dinner at the same restaurant you and your family would be at, specifically, opposite your table.

you walked in the restaurant, telling the front of the house that you had a table reserved under your name and that you were pretty sure the rest of your family was already there. 

she politely told you to walk alongside her, leading you to your family. 

you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings. you were solely focused on seeing your family that you didn’t know that there were extra pair of eyes staring at you. 

you smiled as your family saw you. your mum crying while standing up to hug you tightly, as she once did three years ago. 

you could hear your friends shout your name loudly, as if to tell the whole world that you were finally here. 

“don’t cry, i’m staying, no more going back to australia, i swear.” you told your mum, trying to reassure her that you were fine and that you were not going to leave her again, since she hadn’t stopped crying.

you moved to hug your dad, who had been patiently waiting for his turn after his wife. “you look great, kiddo.” you thanked him as he complimented your professional look. 

you sat down, somewhere in the middle, between your family, opposite of your parents so that everyone could clearly see and talk to you easily. 

with how noisy you family were, you were sure the entire restaurant knew your name and where you had just moved from. 

they asked you about australia, what was it like to work there, away from your family. you caught up with every single one of them. 

“don’t you live in that really expensive neighbourhood right now?” one of your childhood friends asked. 

you winked at her, discreetly trying to answer her question. the whole table shouted and congratulated you for making it this far, in only a matter of short years. 

you covered your face, shy, not wanting this part of your life to be told to everyone in the restaurant. 

-

GEORGE’S POV 

there she was. the person whose life we practically ruined. luckily, we didn’t ruin it all for her. i guess she made use of her brains and is working a normal job.

“dude.” i tried to attract the other two boys’ attention. 

“i know.” both of them answered me. 

“she’s rich rich, huh?” sapnap almost chuckled but was totally serious saying that. 

“yup.” dream. 

ah yes, clay. the man dream himself. sapnap and i tried to persuade him into making it right for her, for you. 

sure, he had said those mean words, but he can take it back. three years ago, at least. 

she disappeared three years ago. vanished. no one knew where you went. some say you moved out of the country, which deemed to be true. couple of years later people started to find out what you worked as, but i tried my best to help get rid of the information 

but they just couldn’t pinpoint where. you basically uped and left everything. 

and there was time to apologize, but it had been to late. 

i thought she died, quite frankly. i didn’t want to be the cause of someone dying. well at least, not me, but my friend. 

now us three were seated in a pretty formal and expensive restaurant to eat dinner. and we did not expect to see her here. 

she came in a little late, wearing a very professional wear. seemed like you went to work before this. 

i knew you were a lawyer, we three knew that since our fans found it out. 

she looked completely different. hair not her usual crazy colours. just seeing her in heels baffled me. she was wearing something formal and that wasn’t what you usually wore, years ago. 

- 

DREAMS’S POV 

she’s beautiful.

not that she wasn’t before. 

but this version of her was different. her in her pant suit, in heels. a turtleneck under her blazer. 

she looked elegant. classy. rich. 

i mean, she is rich. 

her family screamed when she told them where she lived. and man, that neighbourhood only had rich people. it had one of the best, if not the best security you could ask for. 

it wasn’t easy to buy a house there. even if you had the money, you’d need a certain bank card to be allowed to even be shortlisted. 

and if i saw it correctly, she drives a bentley that was just parked by a valet kid. 

damn. she is one successful woman. 

i know, how could i think this much of her, how dare i when i didn’t even apologized. i didn’t even try. 

in fact. i did. even before she went MIA, fully on social media, i sent her direct messages everywhere. she never replied to any of them. 

and i knew no one that had her phone number. and soon enough, no one had heard from her in three years. 

and now she’s back. more beautiful than ever. 

i needed to speak to her i couldn’t live with the guilt that stayed for these past three years. 

my fans, my so called supporters made her life a living hell and i almost did nothing to stop it. 

i’m sure she hates me. but i have to try somehow, right?

question is, she didn’t have a social media anymore, and i can’t just speak to her now that she was sitting opposite my table. 

i kept on pondering as i heard a little bit of her conversation, about her life. 

i guess she moved to australia, and worked in a lawfirm in the outskirts. so unpredictable of her. no one would’ve guessed that in a million years. 

i watched as i see her smile as she listened to what her parents were saying. 

i cherished the smile since i didn’t know when was the next time i’d see her. 

she asked the waiter for the bill, covering the whole cost of her and her huge family’s meal. 

damn, this girl is too rich for her own good. 

she puts down the bill on the table, also leaving a generous tip for the waiter that served them. she stood up to walk after her family, needing to pass my table. 

since she had been oblivious to her surroundings, i didn’t expect her to spot us, to notice us. 

but i was wrong. 

PART 2

[nightswithkookmin]

Goldy I never thought I would reach out to any Jikook blog but after your last post I have to. I am an east asian american and trans. I have never spoken on this issue, commented or posted about this. I am a Jikook supporter but sometimes Jikook supporting blogs don't feel like the friendliest place. I want to thank you for changing my opinion on that. It is an insult to BTS to say Jikook don't know they seem gay or that they don't know what gay looks like. It is an insult to fans like me to say it would be OK to do the things they do if they were cisgendered straight men. I personally saw a few people say or dance around this and they got intimidated by big blogs for it. I would never name names because I beleive in free speech and the right of people to express themselves, as long as it isn't hate speech. Supporting lgbt people and making sure they don't feel endangered is MORE IMPORTANT THAN STANNING A KPOP BAND and I say this as a 4 year long bts and Jikook stan. So many people don't want to touch this issue and I understand why.

But thank you for supporting ACTUAL lgbt people as well as bts and showing stubborn people that BTS mean gay rights when they say gay rights.

I don't know why but this Ask made me cry...

I've been reading it over and over for the past two days and each time I feel humbled by it. Thanks so much for sharing this with me.

I think the era of the obsessed 'kids' and '13 year old shippers' in this space is coming to an end. I think it's time for a more nuanced mature conversation on what it means to ship and stan our faves in today's sociopolitical climate.

Let's intellectualize shipping and use it as a vehicle for social change not just pleasure. Sabotaging political hashtags is a start. Trending and donating to BLM is equally important. Fighting for gay rights and recognition is the next step and a natural progression from here- and about damn time!

Gone are the days where celebrities and idols were immune to accountability and personal responsibility. We live in a world where everyone is required to be converstant in and sensitive to social issues. Awareness is woven into our collective consciousness and for some of us we cannot divorce that from our pleasure receptors.

Hate to quote my pastor but, 'As a kid, I spoke, thought and reasoned like a kid. As I grew up, chilee darling, I put my ghetto ways aside. You feel me?' Lol. Yea, my pastor hood like that. Lol.

The fact of the matter is, BTS has a higher mature demographics now. Majority of us grew with them, if not past them. They are not seventeen anymore, Jin is almost thirty, the youngest in the group is past twenty three and majority of their fanbase are breaching Young Adult well into Adulthood and beyond.

We simply cannot view them with the same lens anymore. If we did, we would be infantilizing them if not enabling them.

We ought to be able to have certain conversations that reflect our age, hearts, backgrounds, experience, values and beliefs.

We can't sit behind our television sets and smart phone screens in this day and age and assume BTS sat through a performance like this and did not for a second think about what it meant, why the crowd cheered at certain moments or even understand the impact, message and intent behind it- especially not when Halsey, an openly bisexual woman and advocate for LGBTG rights is an acquaintance of thiers.

I don't know how a fraction of this fandom can assume BTS would have a collaboration of this nature and not know anything about the gay rights discourse or what queer baiting is or not consider how their actions may or may not be contributing to the marginalization of persons as these- to not have agency and personal responsibility or empathy.

JK cannot stan a gay artist such as Troye Sivan and divorce his music from his sexuality because it flows from it. Not when Troye has openly spoken about the struggles he went through as a closeted gay man, coming out and how that affected his mental health.

JK knows what gay is, he is aware of the struggles queer people face on a daily. His decision to cover, license and recommend songs by this artist is a deliberate act coming from a place of being informed on the matter.

Jimin knows. RM knows. Suga knows.

BTS cannot prepare a speech like this while oblivious to the plight of the LGBTQ plus community. I refuse to believe that simply because it's not true. Anyone who says otherwise is a scammer. Lol.

And I think they are intelligent enough to have cognisance of the fact majority of the world view certain aspects of their home culture as problematic and non-progressive and that this same world is watching them and what they do in this space matters.

They are part of the conversation. And it's in their interest to present themselves as queer a queer friendly band and company by distinctifying themselves from these 'traditional' Kpop bands.

I believe they know that being woke gives them a competitive advantage as MCs and advocates for the youth in today's world.

I believe they are aware certain things in their 'fan service culture' doesn't fly in the space they compete in and want to compete in. They are competing and rubbing shoulders with top LGBTQ plus advocates, sharing seats with them at awards, standing next to them- they best to look sharp.

It's obtuse for anyone to fall on the 'culture' rhetoric to excuse certain behaviors of their idols when actual queer people from and within that same culture fight against it.

Most S. koreans I know and have come across complain about their 'culture' and some even harbor strong resentments against this whole fanservice culture.

Holland, an openly gay Idol from South Korea, has equally spoken out against the 'fan service' culture prevalent within Kpop on several occasions and laments how it depoliticizes queerness and affects actual queer people within S.K.

And isn't it funny that the same conservative Christian population who strongly oppose homosexuality in S.K often lead online campaigns against Jikook for 'promoting homosexuality' because of certain fanservice and skinship they do?

If skinship is normal and fanservice is culture, why does conservative S.K keep pushing back against it? It's their culture uno?! Lmho.

Queer south Koreans and conservative Christians hate fanservice culture and yet here we are using their culture to defend it as if it's all black and white. Lmho.

Did they or did they not see South Korean's reactions to this performance by Jikook? The mixed feelings most had about it?

Men can nibble on men's ear but God forbid they toss them in the air and catch em💀

South Koreans are not a monolith. Their culture is nuanced like any culture. It's not static and not clear cut black and white either.

It's one thing to respect other's culture, it's another to perpetuate it in ignorance. Perpetuating their culture and being religious about it does not allow for the dynamism inherent in their culture.

Troye Sivan talked about how he'd stop in the middle of his concerts and performances upon seeing the hyper fangirls in the front row and then think to himself, 'I know they know I'm gay, so why are they still here...'

And this was before he came out.

Jikook know we know they are queer or that we think of them as queer. When Jimin talks about 'those that love me for me' he knows exactly what he is talking about or rather who he is talking to- it's not these hets I'm afraid.

Troye also talked about being privileged because he lived in a rather queer friendly neighborhood where everyone is gay and so he'd always felt safe coming out.

Isn't that what JK is doing?

Now this is a person who's without a doubt had a lot of influence on JK in his early formative years as an Idol right down to his decision to move into a much queer friendly neighborhood of Itaewon.

They know we know. Jikook is gay.

Thankfully, there are reports of a rising number of LGBTQ plus in South Korea, a lot of allies, a lot of queer folks coming out and a lot of companies opening up to working with gay idols and aspiring idols.

It's such a relief but a lot of work still needs to be done and I stand with them on behalf of Jikook and any queer folk in SK.

My sister is helping me reach out to an LGBTQ plus advocate from Seoul for an interview for my blog. If everything goes well, I'd love for her to share her thoughts on queer passing, queer baiting and fan service within Kpop and how that affects LGBTQ youth in South K.

It's a conversation I'm really passionate about and interested in.

I love me some ships, but I also love me some queer advocacy and human rights uno? Lol.

Thing is, I may quit BTS one day, but I can never quit being me. Being human. Always put the human first is my motto.

Oh and I hear people are plotting to cancel me? Chilee. Y'all do that but:

Let it echo.

Signed,

GOLDY

[chalkrevelations]

Word of Honor Ep 6, and let’s talk a little about what’s canon, and what’s not, and about the particular slip-slidiness of the line between them on this show.

But first, due diligence: If you are NEW or JUST VISITING, this is a re-watch, so you’re going to find SPOILERS not just for this ep, but for the entire show. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch unspoiled. Also, heads-up, this got super long, because I had to talk about that stuff up there and then still talk about the ep. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

So, “canon,” as applied to fannish source material (in Western fandom, at least) traditionally has been considered the official stuff – the episode, the book, the comic, the movie – based on the religious definition of  “canon,” the collection of texts accepted as genuine and official within a religion. The word “fanon” – widely accepted fannish ideas – plays on this, as does the fandom concept of “word of God,” or things the Creators have said about the text but outside of it. Is it in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Canon. Is it not in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Not canon. (Apocrypha? Maybe. Anyway.) Generally, I think we’d say that things like material in the first draft of a script that doesn’t make it through revisions and onto the screen isn’t canon, even if you can get your hands on a copy of the first draft. The final product that airs is what’s canon. BUT this gets super slippery in something like WoH, in a way that’s exemplified in this episode. This ep is one of the places where people who can lip-read Chinese have spotted some significant dialogue changes between what the actors say on-screen and what lines have been dubbed in. (Everybody’s dubbed in cdramas, it’s just the thing that happens. You have your on-screen actors, and you have your voice actors. The ONLY person in The Untamed who did his own voice dubbing, for instance, was Ji Li, who played Nie Huaisang. All the other characters had voice actors dubbed in. In fact, the voice actor for Jiang Cheng in The Untamed is the voice actor for Wen Kexing in WoH.) One of the descriptions of WoH that I’ve heard is that this show was filmed as a bl and dubbed as a bromance. The thing is, nobody tried very hard to hide the shift. There are plenty of places that you can clearly see the actor’s mouths don’t match the dubbing, and they’re not artfully shot or edited to hide this. They’re fully on-screen, mouthing words that don’t match, right out in the open, almost like they want to you to pick up on it. Almost like it’s canon, because it’s right there on-screen, aired in the episode. In my first-watch reactions to Eps 36 and 37, I talked a lot about how the dubbing puts a layer of de-queered no-homo over what the on-screen actors are saying in these places, but if you can see what they’re actually saying and understand it, does that make it canon? What does it mean, both textually and meta-textually, if you can’t believe what you’re hearing – what you’re being told – because it contradicts what you’re seeing? How does that affect what we’re told about Our Protagonists and its “truth,” particularly in the final scenes? How much is the show deliberately working against censorship in this way? How much is it teaching us to look deeper than what we’re hearing on the surface?

Several people have talked about what’s actually being said by the on-screen actors in places where this happens, and I’m going to direct you to AvenueX on Youtube if you want a complete overview, because she’s reliable and has a good compilation that’s easy to find. She has a couple of videos called “Lip Reading for Sugar,” and the March 9, 2021, installment includes the Ep 6 incidences, the most significant of which are: At 3:05 in the ep, when WKX throws himself on Zhou Zishu’s back during the zombie Drug Men attack, calls him “mom,” asks ZZS to carry him, and tells “mom” that “your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” Only no, Gong Jun didn’t say this, if you watch his mouth compared to the sound of the words. Instead of “niang” (mom), he says “Zhou Zishu.” Twice. “Zhou Zishu, carry me.” “Zhou Zishu, your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” This is not only important because it emphasizes he’s gay for Zhou Zishu’s shoulder blades, but also because he’s fucking baked on Drunk Like A Dream incense when it happens, and later, ZZS will reveal that Drunk Like a Dream makes you see what you most desire, and he’ll confront WKX about how he “kept calling” someone’s name while he was under the influence of it. This makes no sense with the dubbing we get, because with “mom” dubbed over ZZS’s name here, WKX only calls Zhou Zishu’s real name once while he’s under the influence, at the end of ep 5. That is not kept calling. ANYWAY, once WKX clears his head and flies them away from the Drug Men, back to the a lakeside, there’s another disjunct at 5:05, when the dubbing has WKX tell ZZS not to play hero, that he doesn’t lose face if WKX helps him, and ZZS responds with something about your grandmother’s bear, which AvenueX tells me is a real Chinese idiom, although not for what. What Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan appear to actually have said, though, is that WKX tells ZZS that this was just like a hero saving a beauty, with the implication that ZZS is the beauty, the damsel in distress, and ZZS respons that no, it’s like the beauty saving the hero, without a lick of concern that he’s the beauty, the damsel, in this scenario, just that he did all the work killing Drug Men and now this asshole is going to act like he’s the one who did the saving. At 31:24, dubbing has WKX telling ZZS that he’ll give ZZS whatever he wants if ZZS can get him some of the Drunk Like a Dream, but AvenueX tells me that he actually offers his body in exchange, in a way that implies marriage. And at 32:22, when ZZS asks WKX what he saw under the influence of the Drunk Like a Dream, the dubbing gives us some random story about baby WKX throwing a rat on his mother’s bed, while Gong Jun’s mouth seems to be saying something something about being in the bridal chamber with his beloved … so circling back to our first instance at 3:05, WKX using Zhou ZIshu’s name is now super-interesting, eh?

Another slip-slidey point of canon here is that there are two versions of this episode. The original version didn’t have the rabbit-washing scene. That was an extra that was inserted later into a Special Version ep when Youku reached 2 million subscribers. But the Special Version is now available on Youku’s channel (it’s the one I watched for this re-watch), AND it’s the regular version that’s on Netflix. So at 25:28, we now get this adorable little scene where ZZS and WKX are cleaning two rabbits in the lake before cooking them, and WKX splashes ZZS who pretends to be irritated before splashing WKX back and running away up the riverbank, chased by WKX. It’s flirty and playful and ALSO a foreshadowing of the flashback we’re going to see in a later ep, when they play together for an afternoon as children. Wasn’t canon before. Now it is.

Anyway, even with the (bad) dubbing that we get, this is a fantastic WenZhou ep. We open with them still being menaced by the zombies Drug Men, with a lot of swordwork by ZZS before he starts flagging because of his Nails Issue, whereupon WKX instantly sobers up, goes Evil Ghost Valley Master on Imposter Hanged Ghost who’s controlling the Drug Men, kills him with his Fan of Death, then scoops up ZZS and flies him off to a lake, where he attempts to tenderly check ZZS’s pulse and take care of his wounds before ZZS slaps away his hand like an offended maiden. WKX has to give him the qi smackdown in order to hold him still to :coff: pull down his robes and suck out the poison from the Drug Men scratches on the back of his shoulder. :hands: I remember the first time around, watching this with my mouth hanging open, demanding to know the heterosexual explanation for this. (Also, if you’re rummaging on Youtube, the Five Straight Guys Watching Word of Honor for this ep is not to be missed. They’re a little questionable in their reaction to the poison sucking, but before that, they’re a bunch of squeamish babies over using the dagger to further slice open the wounds to get to the poison, and it’s HILARIOUS. They can’t even look at the screen once the dagger comes out, hiding behind their hands. I love them, more and more as the eps go on, but they are WEAK compared to even the newbiest hurt/comfort fangirl.) There’s some more back and forth between WKX and ZZS about revealing their true selves to each other, no you, no YOU. WKX makes it clear that he knows there’s something really wrong with ZZS, and then they fight, set to romantic music, and ZZS ends up falling in the lake. I do the victory arms (  \o/  ) to myself where I’m sitting on the couch and startle one of the cats, because FINALLY we’re going to get rid of that execrable fake facial hair. ZZS fucks with WKX by staying underwater long enough that WKX panics and also dives in, we get some really cheap and awful underwater effects, and ZZS reveals his face! They end up back on the edge of the lake, drying their perfectly dry outer robes, while they sit around the fire together in their perfectly dry inner robes, but I am not going to complain because y’all. I CANNOT with how smug and pleased ZZS is for just a moment about WKX mooning over how pretty he is. Then he remembers to be an ill-tempered gremlin and pokes at WKX with a flaming stick, but I had to rewind four times just to catch that little moment of satisfaction about being admired again – it’s subtle and gorgeous and Zhang Zhehan is going to kill me with his face one of these days. ZZS demands dinner on this date, and fake-coughs pitifully to get WKX to go hunt something down, while he stays and does his delightful little thinky face as he pokes at the Soul Winding Box they got from Imposter Hanged Ghost. Then we get a shot of WKX looking at ZZS before he heads off to catch some rabbits that confirms he now knows he’s really Zhou Zishu, rather than Zhou Xu.

So, we’ll get back to the Ghost and the Box in a minute, but I do want to mention that this whole ep is layered through with mini-references and thematic stuff. Imposter Hanged Ghost rings his little bell to control his Drug Men, and remember that, we’ll see that again. WKX asks if ZZS came from the Healer’s Valley when ZZS offers him an antidote to the Drug Man poison; we learn later that WKX, himself, is the one who came from the Healer’s Valley. When ZZS gets the Soul Winding Box open and finds a piece of the Glazed Armor inside (Danyang’s, taken off of Ao Laizi by Ghost Valley before he was hung at the gate of Sanbai Manor), he gives it to WKX, tells him to throw it away if he doesn’t want it. WKX says he couldn’t possibly, and that he’ll wear it because it’s his first gift from A-Xu. Compare this to the way Xie’er will wear Awful Yifu’s Glazed Armor around his neck. We also see some of the thematic and referential stuff come up in conversations that form a repeated pattern in this ep of ZZS stressing what a bad and dangerous person he is: He scoffs at the idea he’s from Healer’s Valley, and asks if he looks like someone who practices medicine; WKX responds that he looked like a professional killer (true) who was cruel in the abandoned temple (presumably while escaping Mirror Lake) and frightening to a kind-hearted man like WKX who can’t even kill a chicken (particularly amusing given the prep for New Year’s dinner in a later ep, when WKX is the only one who CAN). At the lakeside and again after ZZS hightails it away from Sanbai Manor when they spot Han Ying there (HAN YING, my beloved), WKX asks if ZZS is a fugitive, what he’s hiding from, and says that he’ll protect him – by reason, because would he kill anyone unreasonably (omg, where to even begin? How many guys have you choked out at this point)? When they’re arguing about ZZS revealing his “true” face, ZZS warns that most people who’ve seen his real appearance are dead (probably true). WKX says he’s not afraid of death (not his own, at least, we’ll see that the thing he’s afraid of is ZZS’s death). ZZS warns WKX that he’s not only sharp-tongued, he’s ruthless (true). He tells WKX that he’s murdered many people (true) and set them on fire (not unlikely, frankly) and committed many crimes (true, in a way, although they were state-sanctioned, making them legal, if morally reprehensible). This is the ZZS who put the Nails in himself, who talks to himself about what a truly awful shixiong he is, who tells Prince Jin that he’s only good as a weapon. I like how we see this at the same time that we’re starting to see the side of him that’ll preen when someone thinks he’s pretty - this is a process, and it’s subtle, not as high-drama as WKX’s, but it’s there, nonetheless.

We also formally meet Xie Wang in this ep, artfully posed and playing his pipa among the bodies – old and new – of Zhao Coffin Home. He and Changing Ghost have a bit of a slapfight over whose fault it is that Imposter Hanged Ghost, who was actually Long-Tongued Ghost, got killed and got his (Danyang’s) Glazed Armor took by WKX, when Changing Ghost stole it from Ao Laizi, put it in the Soul Winding Box and gave it to Long-Tongued Ghost specifically to deliver it to Xie Wang. Xie Wang is super cool through all of this, and I think we get a sense of how deadly he is by the way Changing Ghost backs down. So, here’s what’s falling together: Some iteration of Ghost Valley is working with Xie Wang and the Scorpion Sect, giving the Scorpions access to the Soul Winding Threads, which we saw used at the Mirror Lake massacre and in the woods outside of Sanbai Manor to kill Yu Tianjie in the last ep. Via Xie Wang, Ghost Vally has access to use of the Drug Men, which we’ve seen at the Zhao Coffin Home (so far), although we haven’t yet been told (I think) how Xie Wang got access to the potions to create Drug Men (we also know ZZS read about Drug Men in a book somewhere, and got enough info to engineer an antidote to them). Xie Wang and the Scorpions have access to Drunk Like a Dream incense, which had to come from Prince Jin’s court, having been engineered by ZZS based on a much stronger formulation. Han Ying, from Tian Chuang in Prince Jin’s court, has been seen at Sanbai Manor, Zhao Jing’s place.

Meanwhile Chengling is doing poorly, with no appetite and getting bellowed at some more by Shen Shen, who would be the worst if only I didn’t know everything I know, which makes me cringe when Zhao Jing refers to Chengling as “my son, now.” NO. RUN, Goldbean. For some more thematic and referential stuff in this ep, WKX calls Chengling a “lonely chick with no one to rely on” and tsks over the fact that he’s “surrounded by hounds smarter than foxes” now that he’s under the care of the Five Lakes Alliance. This is clearly to manipulate ZZS into thinking Chengling is better off with ZZS, but it also sounds like an awfully apt description of Zhen Yan in Ghost Valley. I’m just sayin’.

[atiny-doodles]

five

YUNHO POV

I shared the news of gaining a girlfriend with my members. San and Seonghwa were expecting it, and the rest of the members congratulated me as well.

Hongjoong was happy for me too, but he seemed a little worried. "Make sure you protect yourself, we can't let this relationship go public since it's time for our debut soon. And talk with the manager about it too." he advised.

The manager didn't not take the news as well as the others though. We were having our weekly group meeting today, and when I announced the news of my new girlfriend to our manager, he just furrowed his eyebrows, showing lines of stress on his forehead.

"Did you expect me to congratulate you?" he asked, rubbing his forehead. Before I could answer, he interrupted me by saying, "You know what, sure. I'm not going to force you to break up with her, just make sure your relationship remains a secret." he said with the calmest voice he could manage to bring out.

"And no matter what, make sure the chairman doesn't find out. I'll try my best to cover you two, but if word gets out, don't tell anyone in the company that I knew about this relationship." He gulped, worried and lowered his voice, motioning the rest of the members to come closer. In a whispered voice he said, "My job and head is on the line here so please, I beg you, don't mess up kids. I only want what is best for you. But otherwise, congrats Yunho." he gave me a small smile.

I smiled back and Mingi who was sitting next to me patted my shoulder reassuringly.

"Other news! Since today your debut mv goes up, we're going to have a private dinner funded by the company to celebrate!" the manager looked at me. "Private. So if you want you can bring your girl." he smiled.

Just then, we saw the silhouette of a black shadow quickly pass by the meeting room. "What was that? This was supposed to be a private meeting." Frustrated, the manager stood up and walked outside.

We heard him talking to someone, but couldn't process what was going on. He walked in and sighed. "We really need to keep our new staff in check. They can't just wander around like that!"

"What happened?" Hongjoong asked.

"Just some new employee. She didn't even have a name tag on her, but she said she was lost trying to find HR. I directed her there and scolded her, but hopefully she isn't harmful." The manager looked at me and covered my hand.

"Don't worry, this secret stays only in this room." he looked at the other members. "No one in here is allowed to tell anyone else except for Yunho's parents maybe." Everyone nodded and sat back down, so we could continue with our meeting.

-

NO ONE POV

"I got the evidence sir. Confirmed, Yunho of Ateez is dating the girl from the restaurant." the girl opened a picture of Yunho sitting across from Y/N at a restaurant.

"Good work. This group was getting on my nerves. Didn't even debut and yet they were getting so much recognition from different influencers. It's about time we set up a scandal." the man said sipping his tea. "When did you say it was their debut?"

"Today, they debuted with their first album and title track 'Pirate King,' October 24, 2018."

"Nice. Were you able to do a background check on the girl?"

"She is a personal trainer, known for training olympics athletes and idols. This time KQ entertainment hired her to personally train Yunho, which is how I am theorizing they started to date."

"Nice! Write an article about the scandal just like that. Do it right away, and release it tomorrow morning at 10 AM. Rookie group debuts chocolate abs idol. But wait! He's taken? I can see the headlines and the hashtags on twitter in my head already!" The man cackled like a maniac.

"Of course sir!"

-

Y/N POV

"Aah Yunho! Slow down!"

"What do you mean I'm going easy on you!"

"No you're too fast!"

We were in ATEEZ's dorm in the front living room. We came back from eating dinner with the rest of the team. I met the rest of the members, who were super nice to me. The manager discussed how I needed to keep my relationship private, and I understood. That meant no more flaunting my dates with him on outstagram, but that was fine.

And right now, I was playing this car racing game with him on his playstation. It was my first time playing, but he was being ruthless with me.

"Yunho! Help me I crashed!" I pouted, pointing at my screen.

Yunho playfully rolled his eyes at me. "I already won the game. Here, what about you practice with some easy NPCs first rather than going against me?"

My frown widened. "But I wanted to play with you,"

He chuckled and scooted closer to me on the couch. "I'll be right here, so don't worry Y/N."

He literally set the NPC to the easiest setting, and yet I was still last place, because I kept crashing. This time, I was stuck in mud, and no matter how much I revved the digital engine, the car would not budge.

"This is frustrating!" I said, putting down my controller in fury.

"Aw, don't rage quit," Yunho took the controller and put it in my hands. Suddenly, he scooted all the way over to me, not leaving any space between us and hugged me from the behind. He placed his hands over mine on the controller and guided my fingers through the controls.

"See, if you move to the left a little, you can go around the puddle and get out using this slope, and there! You're in the game again!"

He continued to guide me through the rest of the game, with me sitting there, head resting against his chest, and his chin resting gently on the top of my head.

"Yunho! We won!" I giggled.

He tilted my chin gently to face him. "No, you won Y/N" he said before gently kissing me on the lips.

That was the first time he did that...

I smiled at him and felt my face turning red. Geez, I was so whipped for him.

-

YUNHO POV

She grinned at me and started blushing. I couldn't help it, she was too cute.

I took the controller out of her hands and put in on the table in front of us, not losing eye contact with her as I leaned closer and closer to her, cornering her to the back of the couch. I reached up and touched her honey skin that was now lightly tinted pink.

I traced my fingers across her forehead, her cheek, her jawline, and her lips, slowly examining the small perfectly imperfect details of her face.

I looked back up to meet her eyes. "I love you Y/N, you know that right."

Her eyes softened at my touch. "I love you too Yunho."

Slowly, making sure I wasn't making her feel uncomfortable, I met my lips with hers. They were so soft, and tasted like strawberry lollipops. I held the back of her neck, supporting her neck since she was leaning up to reach me. She kissed back gently, and I could feel her tugging on my bottom lip, and I let out a small growl of satisfaction.

Slowly, my lips traveled to other parts of her face. Her small dimple on her left cheek, her jawline, and tilting her head upward, I explored her neck. She let out little whimpers and I smiled against her honey skin.

"OH MY GAHD," We jumped up at the sudden intruder. She pushed my chest, forcing me to fly all the way across to the other side of the couch because of her immense arm strength. I groaned, holding my chest in pain and glared at our intruder.

"JEONG WOOYOUNG!"

-

Y/N POV

The boys chased each other around for some time, with Yunho threatening Wooyoung with a pillow and Wooyoung laughing and teasing him. It was even more entertaining than watching Mr. Hinx chase James Bond.

Wooyoung eventually apologized to me for interrupting so suddenly like that. We were both cool about the situation though. I figured it was getting late so I said my farewells to the two boys and headed out their dorm door.

"Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you home Y/N?" Yunho asked, holding my hand just as I was about to leave the building.

"I'm fine Yunho. If anyone tries to harm me I'll take them down with my muscle powers so don't worry!" I struck a funny boxing pose and we both laughed.

"I'll see you later then," we both tiny waved goodbye to each other and I made my way out into the nighttime streets with a huge grin on my face.

*click*

I turned my head around, wondering where that sound came from.

Weird, it sounded like a camera. Meh, must just be my head.

I shrugged and continued walking home.

series masterlist

[pink-bird-30]

Becoming My Own Hero-Olicity & Robstar Crossover Fic

Ight.  I’m making this the go to place to find alllllllll the links to my story because tumblr has this astounding ability to make my story impossible to find.  Even using my own hashtag I have difficulty finding it!  

So here we go.  The links to all 7 chapters of Becoming My Own Hero:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Full Synopsis: 

Oliver Queen Felicity Smoak had a daughter named Star Gabrielle Queen. On the night of her 8th birthday, her life changes forever. She is kidnapped by ARGUS and is recruited by Amanda Waller to protect the earth from Aliens, like Superman. But the genetic mutation she undergoes makes her stronger than they thought. To hide their mistake, they send her to her home planet Tamaran. Years later, the Justice League needs help from the Titans. The Titans head to Star City to assist in taking down a greater enemy, but how will Starfire handle being home after 11 years of being away, and her family believing that she would never come back?

This is a slow moving story.  If you can tell by the publish date, I’ve been working on this for 3 years. A lot has happened that I haven’t been able to keep up with this story, but I’m trying to do better.

I hope you guys enjoy this story and my latest chapter!

As always, Happy Reading!

                                                   Chapter 7

                                                  Trained Pt.2

I can’t believe this is happening

For as long as Robin could remember he’d always had some sort of attraction to Starfire.  Don’t get him wrong, its undeniable that she is this beautiful person, but standing there with his arms around her, deepening their ‘first’ kiss was blinding.  He hadn’t truly realized how much he cared about her, how much she means to him, how much this could ruin everything.

What if they broke up?  Would she still be his friend?  Would she leave the Titans and never come back?  Would she go home!?

Robin abruptly pulls back, allowing his doubts to control him, and puts Starfire at arm’s length.  Starfire gives him a hurt expression and steps away from him, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Richard?”

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out.  He’s standing there like a fish out of water.

Starfire feels her whole world come crashing down.

How could he…I’m so stupid.

Not waiting for the ‘we’re teammates and shouldn’t date’ conversation, she turns her back on him and reaches for the elevator button.  Once it reaches the ground floor she walks inside and finally turns to face a grief stricken Robin.

“I do understand why you wear the mask; you’re eyes tell a story the different than the actions.  Night, Robin.”

The doors to the elevator closes and she lets her tears fall freely knowing he will never understand how much he hurt her tonight.

Down in the garage, Robin beats himself up for allowing Batman to continue to dictate his life.

“Dammit!”  Robin punches the wall of the garage and immediately regrets it.  He crumples back in pain, his hand throbbing.  He can already feel the bruise spreading across his hand, creating deep shades of purple.  But he doesn’t care.  He finally had the opportunity to be happy for once in his life and he chose to listen to his hero side while standing there as Richard.  

What did I do?

--------------------------

Gotham 1996

“Mr. Wayne,”  Bruce looks up from his desk taking note of his PR lady, whose name he can’t seem to remember; Rebecca?  Leslie?  “The press is ready for you.”  

Bruce stands up from his desk, straightens his tie, and checks his hair one last time in his cabinet mirror before leaving his office with…Vickie, Vickie Vale!

“Thank you, Ms. Vale.  Lead the way.”  He smirks and winks at her, knowing how his charm needs to be on full blast for what he’s about to do.  He gestures for her to walk out of his office first and follows behind, adjusting his cufflinks as they make theie way to the conference room.

The large windowed room held Gotham’s top reporters from: Gotham Gazzett, Channel 9, The Gotham Times, and Gotham News Network. The first wave of flashes startled Bruce, it’s been many years since he was exposed to the media, and having all these news stations here today is jarring compared to his secluded life back in Nada Parbat.

“Mr. Wayne, is it true you are the Batman?”

“Mr. Wayne, did cha’ really crash your new Bentley?”

“Mista Wayne, are you single?”

Bruce takes a deep breath, allowing himself to adjust back to his playboy swagger; concealing the person whom only a select few know.  He opens his arms wide and smiles dazzlingly to the press,  “Ladies and Gentlemen, I understand my disappearance has been hard on everyone in Gotham, especially the single ladies.”  He winks at Vickie again, making her blush, and continues, “I know my families influence in Gotham is important.  And for that, I am apologetic.  But there is reason for my disappearance.

“Since the death of my beloved parents, Martha and Thomas Wayne, I’ve always wanted to discover if I had family elsewhere.”  Bruce moves across the room, passing the large wooden table in the center of the room, and leans against the glass windows looking down to the city below.  He can clear as day see all the destruction his absence has caused in such a short period of time.  The thought sending a deep blow to his gut, knowing he chose to leave, but wished there was someone who could have kept Gotham free from evil.

Bruce looks back to the press, taking note they are waiting for him to continue.

“I went across seas to search for a missing relative on my father’s side.  My butler, Alfred Pennyworth, had informed me of a long lost niece.”  The crowd of reporter gasping at the new discovery.  “I’ve brought her here today for you all to meet her.  Her name is Gabrielle Wayne.”  On cue, Alfred walks into the room pushing a black stroller and stops in front of Bruce.

“If you’d like to take a photo of my niece, please turn the flash off.  It can harm a baby’s eyes.  She’s only a few weeks old.”

Gently, Bruce reaches into the stroller to pick up Star and holds her in his arms.  The room stills at the sight of the new Wayne child.  No one never thought the Wayne bloodline would continue considering Bruce’s relations with women has never lead to a serious relationship.

“Excuse me, Mr. Wayne.”  A young brunette woman from the Gotham Gazette pushes herself through the crowd of reporters.  “Gloria with Gotham Gazette, what are your plans for taking care of Gabrielle?  Will Alfred be her primary caretaker or will you be heiring a nanny?”

Bruce smiles down at Star as she stares back at him, a small giggle escaping her.  “Alfred and I will be responsible for her.  If I do need additional assistance, it will be taken care of in private.  Gabrielle deserves to live a relatively normal life.”

Gloria reaches her tape recorder out further to Bruce, “Follow-up question:  How can you raise a child in a dangerous city such as Gotham?  With the rise of the Falcone crime family, and unrest in the deep underground of Gotham, how can you guarantee her safety?”

“Excellent question, Gloria.”  Bruce shifts Star in his arms, moving her to rest her head against his shoulder.  “Given my new status as her guardian, it will be my top priority to protect her at all cost.  With that being said, today I will be announcing the charity event I will be hosting for GCPD.  We will be holding an auction to raise money for the police department and expanding their crime division to include metahuman training.  In our ever changing world, we must be prepared for the impossible.”

“Final question Mr. Wayne.  How does it feel knowing Oliver Queen is alive and well?”  Bruce’s mind goes blank realizing he’s been gone far longer than Oliver has been back in Star City.  He feigns shock, “O-Oliver is alive?  Since when?”

“He was discovered on an island in the North China sea about two years ago, Mr. Wayne.”  Gloria supplies.  “Why are you unaware of the sudden reappearance of your long-time friend, Oliver Queen?”

Alfred clears his voice, the attention of the media shifting from Bruce to Alfred.  “Master Wayne did not have access to the news overseas, he spent his time searching for his belove niece.”

Gloria scrunches her eyebrows in confusion and pushes forward, “Sir, it’s 1996.  The media is everywhere.  I find it hard to believe Mr. Wayne was unaware of Oliver’s reappearance.”

Bruce’s jaw locks in a straight line, “Gloria, please understand.  If I weren’t overly set on finding my niece, leading to deep parts of Europe where there was hardly an internet café, I would have been in Star City when he arrived home.  Trust me when I say, he’s like a brother to me.”

Gloria raises a brow at his claim, still seeing through the holes of his story.

I’ll find out the truth later…

Star becomes restless in Bruce’s arms.  He rocks her gently but it doesn’t seem to be calming her down.  He casts a slightly panicked look at Alfred who gestures to her stroller. The media watches as Bruce kisses the top of Star’s head, a few camera shutters going off, and he sets Star back into her stroller.  He buckles the small black belt across her chest and between her chubby little legs.  Almost instantly she starts to nod off, cooing softly.  Bruce smiles down at her and places a light blue knitted blanket over her legs.  Alfred steps forward to take her back out of the room.

Bruce turns back to the group of people and they are all silent in awe if this new Bruce Wayne.

“Gloria,”  Her attention snapping to him, realizing she was entranced by his care as a new father. “I’m grateful my friend is alive and well; I’ll have to check up on him at some point in the future.  Until then, thank you all for coming here today to share in this great day.  I look forward to mingling will you all at the GCPD Charity event.”  Bruce waves to them as he leaves the room, ignoring the onslaught of questions being hurtled his way as he backs out of the room and heads back down where he once came.

Out in the hallway, Vicki Vale walks ahead of Bruce, her maroon heels clicking against the marble floors.  He can feel himself releasing a slow breath.  This was a journey he never envisioned for himself.  He never thought he’d take on such an important responsibility without much thought.  This wasn’t like him.  But the second he met Star, he knew he needed to protect her at all costs.

He knew it was time to reach back into the Bruce he shut off a long time ago, the young man who didn’t know his purpose in life.  The young man who lost everything he cared for and became a playboy that he knew his parents would be disappointed in.  The young man that shut himself off from anyone who cared for him and pushed them away.  He needs that innocent, vulnerable part of himself back for this new challenged.

He needed to be Bruce, not Bruce Wayne.

---------------------------------

Titans Tower 2012

Starfire lays in bed tossing and turning all night until the first peak of light start to sneak its way into dawn.  Starfire growls at the ball of fire that typically greats her happily each day, but after last night, she wanted to be left alone.

She felt a new wave of tears gather in her eyes thinking about last night’s events.  Why had Robin pushed her away?  Why did she think it could be easy?  Why does this human boy have such a hold on her heart?

“Richard…”  she sighs into her pillow, hugging it close to her chest.  She wants nothing more than to be with him.  The feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around her, making her feel safe.  The taste of his lips still ever present even hours later.  And his eyes, he trusted her enough to show her who he was.  And that’s what hurts the most.  Robin was so vulnerable with her but pulled away.

What is wrong with boys…

A subtle knock on her door gains her attention.  She scrunches her brows in confusion, knowing no one would be up at this ungodly hour besides her.  Starfire always rises with the sun, wanting to take in the first few rays to power her through the day.  But today was the opposite, she wanted her room to keep the light out.  She wants to be alone and bask in the darkness her curtains can provide her.

The knock comes again more urgently, “Star, we really need to talk.  I fucked up bad.”

Starfire stills hearing Robin’s voice ring through her door.  Why does he think he can  pull a stunt like he did last night and not expect any consequences for his actions?  Does he expect Starfire to accept an apology and be happy he finally acted on his feelings for her?

He knocks again.

“Star? Please, open the door.”  The desperation in his voice was enough to make her eyes roll.  Starfire huffs in frustration and weighs her options.  It’s either deal with this now or have the entire team butting in when they are trying to hash it out.  That thought alone was enough for Starfire to sit up in bed and make her way to her floor length mirror.

Starfire runs her fingers through her hair and checks herself in the mirror.  She’s wearing shorts and a string tank top, nothing too risqué, but enough to short circuit any teenaged boys’ mind.  She walks over to the door to unlock it, letting it swish open revealing an equally tired Robin.

“Hello, Robin.”  Starfire turns away from him and walks back over to her bed, not bothering to wait for him to reply.  She hears him clear his throat and step into her room, letting the door swish close behind him.  She doesn’t bother to look up at him; she didn’t want him to see how much he hurt her.

“Star—I.” he stops just short of her bed, keeping a friendly distance between them, but close enough that he can still reach out to her.

“You what?  You have the regrets?  If that is so, please do the leaving.  I rather save myself the humiliation.”  She crosses her arms and huffs, her hair slightly flaming at the ends.

Robins sighs, already feeling defeated.  He spent the last three hours trying to find the right words to express himself, but he’s never really been in a relationship with anyone before.  Barbara doesn’t count too much.  They were only 14 and she ended up having feelings for someone at their high school.

“May I sit?”  He gestures to the space next to her on the bed.  He’s never asked permission before, he’s always felt comfortable enough around Star to be there with her, but now everything was different.  Her bed didn’t seem oh-so innocent anymore.  If anything, it made him very much aware her pajamas cover very little of her.

Her green eyes are sharp and sizing him up, “You may.”

Shaking away all impure thoughts running through his head, Robin sits down next to Starfire on the bed, turning to take her hands in his.  “Star, I didn’t mean to push you away last night.  I was—”  he pauses feeling Starfire pull her hands from his slowly.  Robin feels panic settle in his chest for a moment.

Oh god, she doesn’t even want me to touch her anymore.

Tentatively, she touches the corner of his mask, silently asking permission to remove it.  Robin sighs in relief and nods, understanding why she wants it off.  He has nothing left to hide from her; he’s ready to be open and honest with someone for the first time in years.

Her fingers are soft against his cheek as she gently pulls at the mask, letting it fall to the ground next to her bed.  She brushes her thumb against his cheek before dropping her hands to her lap again.

“You may proceed.”

“What I was going to say is that I was—I was scared, Star.”  He stares at her with his intense blue eyes, the fear showing bright within them.  “All these negative thoughts of what could happen if this doesn’t work out came rushing all at once, and I-“ Robin takes a deep breath, trying to steady his voice.  “You’re the last person I want to lose.  I’ve already lost too many people I care about.”

Starfire sits there in silence allowing Robin’s words to hang between them.  She can see the panicked expression settling across his face.  His hold on her hands starts to loosen, but she’s quick to tighten the hold, preventing him from fleeing again.

“Ouch.”

Starfire is confused by his sudden pain and looks down to look at his hand.

“Oh!  Richard, what did you do?!”  she examines his right hand, running her delicate finger over the deep purple bruise, touching it tenderly to feel for any broken bones.  He hisses when she touches the darker stain across his knuckles.

“Ah, yeah.  I sorta punch the garage wall last night after you left.  I was angry because I still let—”  Robin realizes what he was about to say and freezes.

“I am the confused, who are you allowing to do the controlling of you?”  Starfire asks as she stands from the bed and goes to her adjoining bathroom for a first aid kit from under the sink.  She settles back on her bed, close enough that her knee brushes his thigh.

Robin frowns, “I-my adoptive father.  He’s…you don’t know about my family, do you?”  Robins asks.  Starfire frowns.  Of course she knows who Robin’s adoptive father is.  It’s her uncle, but Robin doesn’t know that she has her memories back yet.

She’ll have to pretend not to know.  But then again, Bruce Wayne is a very public figure…

Feigning confusion Starfire shakes her head, “No, I am unaware of your k’norfka.”  She continues to rifle through the first aid kit trying to find a disposable ice pack.

Robin flexes his fingers, feeling the pain radiate through his fingers.  “Let’s just say he’s a very public figure and the reason why I have to keep my identity hidden, if they know who I am-“

“Then they will have the knowledge of whom the Batman is.” Starfire looks up to meet Robin’s eyes.  She can see the sadness embedded deep within, but she still can’t shake the fact he rejected her last night.

Breaking eye contact, Star pulls the ice pack from the kit and breaks it, letting the beans cool up.  She takes hold of Robin’s hand and gently lays the ice pack on his hand.

Robin hisses at the weight of the ice pack, but then relaxes once the cool pack starts to numb his hand from the pain.

“Thanks.”  He smiles at her making her heart jump, seeing his eyes crinkle at the corner and the warmth radiating from them.

He really cares for me…

Starfire shifts closer to him, positioning his hand on her thigh, and takes a small pack of pain medication from the kit and hands it to Robin.  When he doesn’t reach for them, Starfire looks at him quizzically; confused by his distracted state.

“Richard?”

“Hm.”  His eyes are still focused on his hand resting against her thigh.  The warmth seeping its way from his hand through his veins.

“Here, take the medication of pain.”  He open his hand, accepting the pack of pills.  Her hand grazes his, a soft brush of her fingers against his gloveless palm.  It sends a small spark to his heart, and he can see Starfire is just as affected when she doesn’t retract her hand right away.

Feeling brave, letting his fears go and taking responsibility for his actions, Robin closes his hand around hers.  “For a long time, I let him dictate what I could and couldn’t do.  And sometimes that younger, more obedient version of myself overclouds my judgment and I make poor decisions.”

Robin releases Starfire’s hand, letting the packet of pills drop to her bed, and reaches to cup her face.  At first she freezes, unsure where this conversation is going, fearful he may reject her again.  But when his thumb brushes her cheek tenderly, she leans more into him, accepting the small comfort he is offering her.

“When we formed the Titans, I didn’t want to be the version of myself I was before I came to Jump City.  This isn’t Gotham, the threats aren’t the same and the people aren’t the same.  I had to become a different type of hero for those kinds of people because there’s hope here.”  He smiles lightly, making Starfire smile in return.  “ This city isn’t on the brink of destruction; sure there’s been plenty of villains attempting to take over, but the five of us are able to keep them at bay.  Each and every single one of us is able to not only protect one another, but ourselves.

“I guess, what I’m trying to say is: I’m afraid of something happening to you.  To all of you, but I can’t let that fear dictate my happiness.  I know you can handle any situation, but I still can’t help that small voice that tells me otherwise.  I trust you Starfire, and I trust that us, together, can work.”

The only sound in the room was the distant rumble of waves hitting the island rocks down below.  Could he really mean it?  Does he…does he really want to be with her?

Starfire’s eyes widen at his words, “Richard, I do not want to do the reading of the words, but are you—are you asking me…?

The ice pack on Robin’s hand plops to the bed as he moves his hand up her thigh, causing a slight blush to cross her cheeks.  He moves up her side, grazing it softly, feeling the soft fabric of the tank top against his hand.  As he reaches her shoulder, he inches his face closer to hers before his hand finds home threading slowly through her long auburn locks.  Starfire can feel her skin burning from where his hand traveled, leaving a wake of gooseflesh bubbling her sun kissed skin.

Just like the night before, the magnetic pull between the two was undeniable.  Starfire rests her head against Robin’s, “Do you promise not to do the freak out again if we have the lip contact?”

Robin chuckles deep in his throat, “I won’t.  Not this time.”  He brushes a strand of hair away from her face, “I’m all in if you are.”

Wrapping her arms around his shoulder’s, Starfire pulls Robin towards her as she lays down against the pillows, leaving him hovering over her.  Robin gazes at her warmly finally feeling content.

Her green eyes glowing bright with glee as she drags him closer to her again.  Their bodies flush together, and her hand weaving its way into his hair.  His injured hand rests against her hip and the other cups the side of her face.  He tilts his head down allowing their lips to brush lightly as Starfire’s hand caresses the side of Robin’s face.

“I very much am, Richard.”  She whispers against his lips and gives him a slow, chaste kiss before pulling back completely, watching Robin’s eyes open slowly.  A smile spreads across his face making Starfire giggle in return.

“But—“  her face taking on a serious look, making Robin squirm.  “—If you do the pulling of the yesterday events, I will not have the pleasantries for you once more.  You have the understanding?”

Robin visibly gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.  “I promise, Star.”

She smiles brightly and gives him another slow kiss.  This one sending waves of happiness through the young alien.

“What are we going to tell the others?”  Robin asks as he pulls back and reluctantly untangles himself from Starfire.  He lays down next to her on the bed, propping himself against the soft purple pillows.

Starfire moves to her side facing him and takes his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together.  Will they be upset?  Will they celebrate?  Should they keep it a secret for now?

Starfire’s train of thought is cut short by Robin’s hand slowly grazing up her side, sending shivers down her spine.  She find herself cuddling closer to him, allowing his arm to wrap around her fully.

I can definitely get used to this.

Feeling more and more comfortable Starfire feels herself succumbing to her exhaustion.

“I do believe—”  She lets out a yawn and blinks her eyes sleepily.  “—it is the problem for later.  I did not have pleasant shlorvax last night.”  She yawns again, emphasizing her tired state and snuggles closer to Robin’s warm body.  Robin shifts to lay on his back, leaving room for Starfire to rest her head on his shoulder and her arms to wrap around his waist.

Sleepily, Robin yawns as well, feeling the events of the past few hours finally catching up to him.

“Sounds good to me.” He whispers, feeling his eyes grow heavy.

“Pleasant shlorvax, Richard.”  She kisses the underside of his jaw and falls into peaceful sleep.  He wraps his arm tighter around her waist, pulling her closer to him, and drags the blanket over the both of them.

“Night, Star.”

-------------------------------

Starling City 1996

Felicity finds herself wander down the long winding staircase of the foundry.  Her still protruding belly stretching her black knit sweater uncomfortably as she waddles down the stairs.  She can hear the grunts of someone working out on the gym mats and the sound of keys being clicked on her keyboard.  The thought alone sends Felicity to waddle down the stairs at a brisk pace, making her shoes thump against the hard concrete floor.

“Who the hell is touching my keyboard?  Is it Roy?  How many times have I told you not to touch—”  

“Felicity!?”  John Diggle shoots up from her desk chair as Felicity approaches.  She does a double take to see she’s really seeing who she thinks it is.

“Dig?”  She says in disbelief.  The past year has been extremely hard on Felicity and finally coming home, but without her love and daughter, she didn’t think anyone would be down here.

Diggle wipes a tired hand down his face and lets out a short laugh that could pass as a choked sob.  “You’re okay?  Really?”  He looks down her body.  She looks paler than usual, her hair showing her dark roots and her belly, hanging low.  This catches Diggle’s attention immediately.

His eyes widen, “Are you pregnant?”

Felicity bites her lip, knowing this was not how she wanted to tell Dig she and Oliver had a child together.  She thought it’d be like when Sara was born.  All of them huddled in a hospital room wanting to take a turn holding Star in their arms.  They’d take their first Team Arrow photo together.  But Ra’s took that from her, from them.  

Felicity presses a hand to her bulging stomach, he lips quivers from the onslaught of emotions facing through her.

“I was pregnant, Dig.  Oliver and I—”  her voice cracks and the damn breaks.  Diggle pulls her into a tight hug, wishing he could take all the pain away.  She sobs into his chest, wishing Oliver and Star were there with her.

After a few moments, Felicity steps back and wipes away the tears with her black sleeve.  She sniffles as she walks over to her forgotten computer desk and sits down in her chair.  The chair where she watched Oliver for hours using the salmon ladder.  Where she and Oliver would talk about their future together, how they both wanted a family…

And now she sits there alone.

“Dig.”  Her voice rough from tears.  “We need to help Oliver get out of the league, no matter how long it takes.  I need my family back.”

Diggle nods in understanding.  If it were Lyla and Sara on the line, he’d be raising hell to get them back.

Felicity begins her research on Ra’s al Ghul in order to develop a plan to bring down the League of Shadows.  She starts by listing anyone and everyone that is in association with the league:

Sara Lance, Malcom Merlin, Maseo, Talia al ghul, Nyssa al Ghul, Star Queen...

The last name catches Diggle off guard, “Felicity, whose Star Queen?”

Her fingers stop moving on the keyboard and turns to him sadly, “That’s our daughter’s name.  Star Queen.”

Diggle feels his throat tighten realizing this baby girl is stuck in one of the scariest places on Earth.  Why would Felicity leave her there?  Why not bring her back?

“Before you ask, I did not have a choice.”  She looks up at the celling of the foundry her eyes growing wet once more.  “She had to stay and be inducted to the league as an heir.  They took my baby from me Dig,  my baby.”

Diggle places a comforting hand on Felicity’s shoulder.  Not truly knowing how to comfort her in this situation.  How could he?  His wife and child are safe at home, far away from these kinds of monsters that Oliver and Felicity find themselves fighting against.

“Yo, Dig!”  Roy bellows from the training mats.  “Did you see the news?  Bruce Wayne is back in Gotham.  And he has a kid!”  Roy comes barreling in from the sparring mats, sweat dripping down his face.  He takes a good look at the small blonde perched in her usual seat.  Roy stops short of the med table, the shock overwhelming him before he rushes at her, and engulfs her into a big hug.

“Felicity, is it really you?!”  Roy asks in disbelief.  How is it possible that she is back?  It’s been almost a year since she and Oliver went to Nada Parbat to resurrect Thea.  Thea came home right away and told them how Oliver had to stay to be the Heir to the Demon Head.  And Felicity was subjected to stay, but did not understand why.  But standing there, taking in Felicity’s appearance, it wasn’t tough for Roy to put two and two together.

“That’s why you stayed.   You were pregnant…Where’s the-?”

“Roy.”  Dig says warningly.

Felicity looks away from them, feeling her throat tighten.  She clenches and unclenches her firsts trying to control her emotions, but post-partum has already kicked in and she couldn’t help the few tears that fell.

“She is safe.”  She whispers.  Roy steps forward and wraps his arms around her again, giving her a tight hug. Felicity reacts immediately feeling safe in her friend’s arms.  Roy was always like a younger brother to her, and she missed him terribly for the year she was gone.

But why did Roy come in here again?

“Bruce Wayne is back in Gotham.  And he has a kid!”

Felicity abruptly pulls back from Roy and swings her chair back around to face her desktop.  She rapidly types in a series of codes and brings up the local news.

“Good Morning, Starling City.  I’m Summer Gleeson and here’s Today’s breaking news.  Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham City after being gone for nearly 7 years.  Not only is his reappearance suspicious, but he has a child!  Before you all lose your hats, here’s the dish.  Our sources at the Wayne conference earlier today confirm that it is a long lost niece on Bruce’s father’s side.  Here is the first look at the new baby of Gotham, Gabrielle Wayne!”

The tv cuts to the press briefing at Wayne Enterprises.  They watch as Bruce makes this grand speech before Alfred rolls in a stroller.

Felicity feels her chest beat fast as she realizes what is happening.

“Oh, frack.”

Diggle looks questioningly to Felicity before watching the screen once more.

“…her name is Gabrielle Wayne.”

“That’s my baby…”  Felicity sobs, clutching at her still round belly.

Roy’s eyes widen, “Why would Bruce Wayne…”

“Oliver, this was the plan he didn’t tell me about.  But I don’t think he thought Bruce would be so public…”  Felicity’s voice drifts as she watches her baby girl giggle on screen, bringing a smile to her tear streaked face.

A warm hand lands on her shoulder and she leans her head against it.  “She’s beautiful, Felicity.”  Diggle gave her shoulder a squeeze letting her know he’s here for her and ready to take on whatever it take to bring her home.

With a renewed feeling of ambition.  Felicity takes a deep breath, sits up in her chair, and squares her shoulders, causing Diggle’s hand to fall away.

“So,”  Roy steps forward to lean against the desk, facing Diggle and Felicity.  “What’s the plan, boss.”

Felicity smiles for the first time in months,  feeling hope after all the darkness she was exposed to for 9 months.

“We’re getting them back.”  She reaches out to take Diggle’s and Roy’s hands.  She needed their team to get this done.  They will need all the help they can get to bring Oliver and Star home.  

“Let’s get to work.”

[byhanifishak]

Get to know me:

Hi, am Hanif, 25 years old and currently studying at Universiti Brunei Darussalam taking Design and Creative Industries. As of now, I am in my second year first semester and I am writing this blog as part of my module assessment and this is my first time writing a real blog. Although I have used twitter to write some thoughts and ideas.

But hey, before I enrolled in UBD, I graduated from Politeknik Brunei’s in 2019 under Digital Media course. As a digital media student, we had to take digital photography and video production module as part of our compulsory modules, this is where my love in photography and video production started. I started with a Canon 750D with the 18-55mm kit lens and as a sane person and broke student with a limited budget that relies mostly on the school allowance, I watched tons of reviews on Youtube on what was the best budget entry level dslr on the market. I bought the camera for $BND750 at Rosephoto Studio (if you are into photography, you should know this shop lol). After 1 year with a bulky dslr, I switched over to the mirrorless system (Sony a6000) for my photography work.

When I got my first camera, I was so excited to try it out. Cat, cat, more cats, flowers, non interesting subject with a #bokeh hashtag LOL. Even capturing a normal and casual photo feels like a real photographer. Because owning a DSLR or bigger camera body=professional HAHAHA although after some time, I started to learn that no matter how big or small the camera is, it is always the person behind it. Trust me, there were times when the non photographer told me ‘nice eh camera mu ani’ (I mean thank you!) but you can give a person to take a photo with the latest camera model and still get a bad result (yes I know, it’s ‘subjective’ but stop using that as a reason).

I learned most of my photography stuff from Youtube. As a beginner photographer, hopping into the trendy stuff (YES I DID! Not proud btw) is like the first thing you would do when you got your first camera because it is trendy for a reason. The prism glass; blue and teal; and the ‘Brandon Woelfel’ inspired photo (yes, the fairy lights and blue/magenta look) were the trend back then, although over the years I created my own style rather than copying (pasta) other photographers’ style. Over 5 years, my style went from the trendy ‘moody’ looks to minimal ‘vogue’-ish look (nah jk). My biggest inspiration and influence would be the fashion photographer Jessica Kobeissi and local photographer Ejam Masle.

[koyacyi-vode]

Hey! For the character ask game, could you do Fox and/or Dogma? Thank you! :)

Brave of you to request Fox for this headcanon game when C literally encourages me to be as mean as possible. Fox first then I'll post Dogma second!

---

Headcanon A - realistic:

This is one I explored briefly in this fic. Fox rarely drinks alcohol. He has always disliked the feeling of not being in control, and that feeling gets exponentially worse the longer the war goes on the the more he has to deal with palpy. When he DOES drink he drinks alone and usually just to either forget things or because he can't sleep. He'd only consider getting positively shit-faced if he was with his closest brothers (those who know why he doesn't drink instead of just thinking he's got a stick up his ass).

On that note, few of Fox's brothers know him very well because he's incredibly closed off. Shinies in the Guard are simultaneously awed by him (cause wow!!! it's THE commander Fox!) as well as intimidated by how cagey he is with them (which gets MUCH worse after Fives)

Headcanon B - while it may not be realistic it is hilarious:

Fox has zero clue how to deal with children and even though he is hashtag 'trying his best', he's woefully lacking in parental instincts. He gets awkward with them and uncomfortable cause KRIFF they're small and vulnerable and where's their armor???

Unfortunately, when Fox draws the short straw and has to guard senators or diplomats (on Coruscant, poor boi never gets to leave because of his position and isnt on the diplomatic service rotation like the other commanders) he is sometimes saddled with their children.

and if Fox didn't know how to interact with NORMAL children, senators' chilren are an absolute nightmare for him.

Fox, whose one personal posession is a 40oz caf mug, is privately horrified that a toddler can have their own FLOOR of a building to themself.

Fox is eventually taken off babysitting duty entirely as Thire quotes him as being "a danger to public safety and common sense" after he gives a child a blaster when the kid asked for something to play with and the parents complained.

fox: it wasn't kriffing loaded. i'm not stupid.

thire: uh huh. you keep telling yourself that.

Headcanon C - heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends:

(general warnings for suicidal ideation, please be mindful if that makes you at all uncomfortable, especially the paragraphs i'm marking after a *)

Fox has some of the most intense survivor's guilt in the GAR. Being from the original Command Class, live fire was still used in training up until they were roughly 16 standard years. Fox's first visceral experience with death was when one of his batchmates made a single misstep and was fatally wounded in an exercise. Fox was right next to him and held him while his brother died in his arms.

That experience so young shaped him into being incredibly protective of his brothers as well as being a perfectionist. (If one wrong move gets you killed then he CAN'T make a wrong move, otherwise what use would he be to his brothers?) he figures, if he is the one stepping out then he wont have to watch his brothers die again. (that does not go as he planned)

Fox is known as being utterly fearless and is one of the most decorated soldiers in the GAR. However, Fox's closest brothers recongize that his 'fearlessness' is actually a combination of overprotectiveness and cripplingly dangerous recklessness.

Desperation along with the soul-crushing work that goes with being the commander of the guard whittled him down mentally, emotionally, and physically (along with being unknowingly brainwashed and used against his will - palps found his 'obedience' useful, and would test different contingency orders by manipulating Fox's chip or straight up using Force influence on him. Fox's body recognized that something wrong was happening to him LONG before he figured it out himself, which gave him chronic panic attacks that he hid from everyone).

*

Fox's recklessness was also in part because he just wanted things to be over. in a kind of convoluted, lengthy suicide by proxy. it's woefully easy for him to attempt it, because he has a crazy dangerous job. all he had to do was wear himself down physically and mentally by not taking care of himself. and then grudgingly wonder if a stray blaster bolt will finally end it for him.

Fox would never do it himself. Because the inclination is in direct opposition with his need to keep his brothers alive, and how can he do that if he's dead? Rationalizing it doesn't of course stop the feelings from occuring, he can't just talk himself out of being reckless and endangering his life. But it keeps him going another day when he thinks of his brothers.

only 3 of his brothers know any specifics about his suicidal tendencies (and even then Fox is an emotional brick wall so most of it they just have to gUESS and then judge their hypothesis on how guilty Fox looks when they ask). The ones who know are Wolffe and Cody (Fox's remaining batchmates) and Stone. And Stone found out simply by being observant and calling Fox out on his self care and getting more than he bargained for in response.

which is what brings me to Fox's canon death and how his reaction to Vader is quite telling of his mental and emotional state at the time. Because here is competent, decorated, fearless Fox, stammering and afraid of Vader's presence (my headcanon is his fear of Vader overrode the chip's programming a bit, because other instances in canon show post 66 clones being quite one-note and Fox's reaction is an exeption along with Grey). But Fox had, after years, finally made a mistake and took that fatal misstep. But maybe it just wasnt an accident.

Headcanon D - unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own:

If Legends existed in canon, Fox would absolutely be aware of some of the shit the Nulls and RCs got up to on Coruscant. But he finds Ordo absolutely impossible to deal with (theyre too similar so they end up hating each other on principle). he would really just rather not get into it, so he just literally turns around like "not my problem" and leaves them to it. Plausible deniability and less headaches are better for him in the long run.

Unrelated headcanon, but Fox is one of the clones that starts to go gray early almost entirely from stress (others being Ordo and Alpha-17). His brothers tease him relentlessly about it.

[annetteblog]

Hi! Thanks for answering my ask, this is the anon who said fanfics were niche😀 Thanks for your thoughts.

Less critical folks' have been subjugating and harming marginalized groups since the dawn of time. Gullible, impressionable people exist, as do hucksters, racists, bigots and ideologies that form around a 'cult of personality'. Should literature or public discourse be propagated with only 'less critical folks' in mind? By this logic, can't everything that can be taken literally be argued to be 'harmful'? (I am not saying you think this or are promoting it! Just a thought experiment😀)

I see what you mean about corporations like Disney. If only they didn't try to claim 'wokeness' or get clout for having middle aged ladies kissing in the background in Star Wars or having a man in a support group tell Captain America that he had gone on a date with a man. Corporations wait for public opinion and market demographics to shift before they put their money as risk. It is known. But do you know what's shameful? Shrinking John Boyega's picture on a poster for Chinese marketing (Lupita Nyong'o's character was missing entirely). That is shameful. That is pandering to anti blackness and it should be named.

Hello again :)

You’re absolutely right about such harm being done since the dawn of time. But still, even if something is so common, nobody can forbid to poke a finger at it and say “ugh it’s baad” once again lol

And another thought about fics being niche, which I forgot to write yesterday. Yes, the influence of bad fanfiction seems to be less relevant than the influence of a typical Disney blockbuster movie with no representation whatsoever. However, one may argue that the queer representation in some Disney movies is completely irrelevant in comparison with the major worldwide problems like the pandemic, climate change or nuclear weapon. And they would be probably right. But does it mean that we shouldn’t discuss Disney?  We didn’t have Marvel movies last year, but definitely had the pandemic. Should everybody who has a blog about Marvel start blogging about Covid instead? Of course no. If some problem is smaller, it doesn’t mean that we should just ignore it! And if something is niche, it doesn’t mean that we must never ever criticize it. 

About Disney. HOLY MOLY WHAT A THEME

I gotta admit, I’m not into the Star Wars saga (I mean I watched the original trilogy and another one with Obi Wan when I was like... 15?? never came back to it), so I don’t really know what’s going on there now with all of these new movies and other projects. Although I saw that fans were angered about John Boyega’s treatment by the company. I still don’t know all the details actually, but as a non-engaged [in Star Wars fandom/narrative] person I was surprised. Why would they hire him in the first place, if they knew they would end up treating him this way? Just for having some pRoGrESSive titles in the media? Sick. 

But Marvel!!! I was SO pissed (and still kinda am) at everything that was going on there. I’m not going to lie, I was a Stucky shipper back in the days. [still consider May 2016 twitter hashtag “givecaptainamericaaboyfriend” to be a peak of western mass culture LMAO] Of course, even then I perfectly understood that nothing would ever work out in terms of making the ship “canon”. And even leaving the ship aside, I knew that any queer representation is highly unlikely. But somehow everything they had said and done made things even worse than I thought it would be. Ranting about how “progressive” they were, and doing complete bullshit. What a progress, wow, a random noname guy said one phrase. [Fun fact - in the Russian theater dub the phrase was censored, so while watching in the cinema I didn’t even figure out where is the rEpReSeNtAtION exactly.] Honestly, I can go on and on about this, I gotta stop. ugh But yeah, big mainstream corporations kinda suck. 😀 

/ Very side ramble. Stucky fanfiction was sooo good tho. No heteronormativity, mature and complicated themes [PTSD, the consequences of war experience, etc.], well-developed historical settings where needed, amazing language... I’m not sure that I’ve known another fandom with such creative people. Sometimes I miss these golden days *sigh* /

[iridescentides]

spontaneity can be fun! and it's so sweet that you're starting traditions with your gf ❤️💚 this is probably warranting another Read More (which i love by the way and you shouldn't feel ashamed of) but i know how much lela from teen beach movie means to you and i wanted to hear why? 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

hi again friend! sorry for responding so late but youre right this will be another read more! thanks for asking such good questions!

i think at the heart of it, lela is my favorite for the same reasons that i like a lot of my favorite characters: honesty, genuineness, and resilience. having the bravery to love openly, to explore, and to believe in yourself enough to keep going, even when other people may not support you. 

lela is unwaveringly kind, caring, and loving. in the first movie, we watch her dance around blissfully, spread compliments and positivity like confetti, and welcome mack and brady into her world like long lost friends. she is unafraid to show care and compassion, and she loves like its the most natural thing in the world for her to do. we watch her confront a fear and begin to learn how to prioritize herself, but shes a little hesitant. she is ready to grow, but she needs a little help. in the second movie we get to see her take agency over her own life and her own narrative, putting herself and her interests first, without sacrificing the loving aspect of her character. she continues to support and uplift others as shes learning to uplift herself. she wears her enthusiasm proudly, and she grabs every opportunity she can.

the thing that sets lela apart from every other character for me is the way that she truly exemplifies confidence. to me, confidence is the most important thing in the world, the most crucial trait for a person to have, and lela came to me at a particularly impactful and influential time in my relationship with myself.

i was 16 when teen beach 2 came out. i hadnt really cared much about the first teen beach movie; i liked it, but i wasnt obsessed. when the second movie came out, i was right in the middle of a very transformative 2 years of my life, where i had decided that i was going to learn to love myself at all costs. i made conscious efforts to step outside of my comfort zone, i read a ton of self-help articles, i wrote myself affirmations, and i just generally reworked my entire brain to become a more confident person. i started to lean more into media, music, and friendships that made me feel good, and to unapologetically enjoy things. i was also learning a lot of new things about feminism and about society as a whole. and for the person i was at the time (and the person i wanted to become), lela came at the exact right moment.

i understand that some people may see lela as an embodiment of surface-level, hashtag girl power disney channel feminism (esp with the “girls can do anything boys can do” line in the first movie). i know that she may seem cheesy and maybe unrealistic to some people. i get that. but as a role model for some of the important changes i was trying to put into place in my own life at the time, she was absolutely perfect.

society teaches women specifically not to like themselves. to never be “too much.” to never be too smart, too loud, or too into themselves. thats misogyny 101. we learn to conflate confidence with arrogance, and to worry that if we’re nice to ourselves, if we think well about ourselves, then it MUST be arrogance at that point, which is a bad trait to have. we learn that if we express ourselves, embrace our ideas, and push to be heard, that thats selfishness, and we’re taking from other people when we take up space. this is simply untrue; a confident person coexists on an equal plane with others, giving themselves the same time, attention, and care that they would give to other people. i was working to internalize this idea at 16 when lela became the perfect example. in growing her confidence and her power in tb2, she never gives up the person she was in tbm. she doesnt negate all of her wonderful qualities, like passion and care and genuineness, when she chooses to have new experiences. 

yes, she walked out of her movie and left the wet side story characters behind, but it wasnt for nothing. she left an environment that wasnt fulfilling for her anymore in pursuit of a fuller life. she still had lots of love to give, and she set out to find mack and transfer her love and energy into their relationship. (shes gay your honor!!! but the point is) she chose to live authentically and knew that she deserved to become her best self, and when she returned to the movie, she brought back the lessons that she had learned in the real world.

in the real world, she got to do calculus and chemistry, make new friends, wear new clothes, invent, create, and excel. she gained admiration for her skills and the content of her character, rather than for the role she played in other peoples lives. she can rebuild a motorcycle AND lead a musical number, and she learned those things could coexist. her femininity could be part of her strength, rather than being seen as a weak point or something that precludes her from going on the bigger adventures. i cannot stress how important it is to see her embrace all of these pieces of herself, unapologetically, in a positive light, and without losing the people close to her!!!

lela is a fictional character, but she has always been my role model for living an honest, passionate life full of love both for myself and for others. lela queen of the beach was a result of the positive impact she had on her world when she used her newfound power, skills, and self-assuredness to enact change. wet side story transformed from being an antiquated narrative that young people had never heard of and didnt enjoy, to being a movie (lela queen of the beach) that mobs of teenagers bought tickets to watch on the beach, passionately dancing along, unified, to the opening number. it became the movie that inspired girls like mack to surf, and girls like alyssa to talk to their crushes. it was subversive and progressive for its time period, making it a classic that remained prominent for 60 years. and all of that power and influence came from one young woman, who was inspired by another young woman. role modeling is a multilayered theme in the teen beach movies, and personally, lela provides motivation for me to give my all, unapologetically, in situations where i can exert a positive impact.

lela symbolizes beating your fears and doubts, stepping out of your comfort zone, creating your own power, and becoming independent, all while staying true to yourself and honest with others. for all those reasons, she will always be a source of warmth and comfort for me.

[currantlee]

Should we boycott Inktober 2020? (+ Inktober Alternatives)

In short: Yes, we should. If you use the #Inktober, you’re promoting Jake Parker’s brand, which has been involved in some questionable practices, most recently including alleged plagiarism.

So, if you haven’t heard of this already: Jake Parker, the inventor of Inktober, allegedly plagiarized his book - or at least, it has a lot of uncanny similarities with Alphonso Dunn’s book Pen & Ink Drawing: A Simple Guide. I’d go into further detail, but Mr Dunn already posted a video that covers pretty much everything about this issue himself, which I highly recomment watching.

Ever since this was made public, people have been debating on whether Inktober 2020 and Inktober in general should be boycotted / cancelled. This has gotten to a new dimension after Jake Parker’s response to the claims in which he denied everything despite the fact that he literally copied some of Dunn’s wording. Overall his entire response comes off as very manipulative to me, especially seeing as he doesn’t even mention Dunn’s name and instead laments the fact that Dunn made it a public issue rather than reaching out to him privately. As many people have pointed out before, Dunn would likely have been silenced by Parker or his lawyers if he had taken that route.

So, here is my two cents on that. However, before you click on “Keep reading”, I’d love to remind you that I’m a human and not some holy book of ethics and morale. You can disagree with everything I’m saying here, I won’t fault you for it if you do. This is just my opinion on the matter and I wanted to share it in order to spread some awareness to what is happening.

That being said, let’s get into this. It’s going to be a long ride everyone.

Why I think we should boycott Inktober

If you aren’t aware of the drama around the #Inktober that has been going on since late 2019: don’t worry about it. The world and the internet are both huge places. There is no way to be aware of what is going on all the time.

That being said - let me be clear with this once more: this is merely my opinion. I personally can’t support the challenge and / or the #Inktober with what has been going on recently. However, if you don’t think that way, this is totally fine for me. Just because I can’t stand behind it from an ethical point of view and decide to boycott for this reason, that doesn’t mean you have to. Ethics and morals are a very personal matter and they differ from person to person. Which is not always a bad thing by the way, but that’s another story for another day.

Why I am sharing my opinion in that case? Because while this is how I think - I know not everybody is aware of what has been going on and I want to inform more people, enable them to make their own decision based on their own opinions and morals. And yeah - maybe influence said decision a little to match my own. I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t play it’s part.

What is the recent drama?

In short: Jake Parker, who created the Inktober hashtag, has decided to trademark the term and the logo so he is the only person able to make money off of it without asking for permission.

This video offers a pretty good rundown on what happened, so I’m going to leave the link here. If you don’t want to watch - here is the summary: in late 2019, Amazon suddenly started to send out Cease and Desists to independent artists who were selling books with titles that included the word Inktober. It turned out that Jake Parker has trademarked the term since 2017 and there were now guidelines on making money off of Inktober, which nobody had been previously aware of, seeing as Parker hadn’t announced it or posted said guidelines anywhere. To make matters worse, he only posted them after public pressure. And there are some other inconsistencies with his behavior that the video is touching on.

Let me be clear: trademarking something you created and that got immensely popular, like Inktober did, is not inheritly wrong in my opinion. Because if you don’t trademark it, someone else will. That’s what happened with the Smiley in the 1970s.

However, if you trademark something like this, then you should make the guidelines on making money of something that was previously public property and is now yours alone clear from the beginning in order to avoid something like this from happening. In addition, I think that if you do this, you shouldn’t trademark your idea to be the only one able make money off of it, but to protect it from harm (like others claiming your idea or inappropriate merchandise being produced). That’s just my view on it though and I wouldn’t bring it up if it weren’t for the other things that happened.

Now, Parker was clearly intent on making money off of Inktober, seeing as he is working on a book titled Inktober All Year Long. However, if it was this alone, it wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is that said book was allegedly plagiarized - or at least heavily borrowed concepts, from Alphonso Dunn’s book Pen & Ink Drawing: A Simple Guide (link to amazon.com). If you want more details on this, I again heavily suggest watching Dunn’s video on the matter or, if you don’t want to watch a video that’s almost an hour in length, any other YouTube video on the subject. At this point, there are several out there, so you just have to type into the search bar.

What is my problem with the situation?

To make this clear, let me clarify what isn’t my problem first.

My problem is not that Jake Parker trademarked Inktober. My problem is not that he is publishing a book titled Inktober. My problem is not even that he wants to be the only person to publish a book with Inktober in the title.

My problem is how he is handling all of this.

First up, I said this before: if you trademark something that was previously a public domain, you either don’t change anything about the rules and merely take the rights to protect your property from harm (like being trademarked by others who want to profit off of it or use it in a way that you can’t support) or you make the new rules clear to begin with.

What Parker did, however, was trademarking Inktober in 2017 and not making the rules clear until late 2019 after public backlash. And instead of apologizing for what happened he tried to blame Amazon for the mess. To be fair: yes, Amazon was the party that send out the C&Ds to the affected artists, not Parker or one of his lawyers. However, it could have been avoided if Parker had made the new rules clear from the beginning. So yeah, it is partly his fault, even if he didn’t send out the C&Ds.

Secondly, Parker’s behavior seems very manipulative and greedy to me. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make money off of your intellectual property - because the reality is that the world we live in requires us to make money. However, I think money should never be the top priority for a person, no matter what they are doing.

It seems to me like this isn’t the case for Parker though. This goes back to an Inktober drama in the past, where he spoke out against digital artists who wanted to do Inktober because it was supposedly not real inking or something like that. However, nowadays he seems to be fine with digital artists. Why? Well, as someone pointed out on Twitter this change of mind corresponded with Parker getting a partnership with Adobe. And while this could definitely be coincidence, it just adds to the picture of someone who is greedy if you take other things he did in account. I might be very nitpicky - and wrong - here, but this is just how I feel about it.

Parker also has a tendency to claim that he “would never do something like that” or that he “did never want that” when something goes wrong and place the blame on others (such as Amazon and now, with the plagiarism scandal, on Alphonso Dunn - without even mentioning his name, allegedly so no one checks Mr Dunn’s book or video out and comes to the same conclusion as he did). As someone who has been raised by a parent with a supposedly narcisstic personality, I know this pattern of behavior very well. Let me be clear here: I don’t want to say that Parker is a narcisst - I’m not a psychologist and aside from that, I don’t know him personally. I only know what he has been doing on the internet. That’s way too little to determine something like that. All I want to say here is that this pattern of behavior heavily reminds me on what my parent did to me. To me, that’s a clear red flag.

And even if he never wanted those things, even if he isn’t trying to be manipulative: he is still guilty of being careless.

And lastly... Don’t plagiarize. Never. Ever. Do that! No matter if you’re an artist, a scientist, an author, you just don’t do that! If you have sources - or even major inspirations - credit them! Not only do you express respect and love for something that way, you also acknowledge their work and might help them to get some more exposure and / or recognization. You might inspire others to have a look at what inspired you, something you love.

How does this tie into the #Inktober?

Simple. By using the hashtag, you’re using the name of Parker’s brand and the title of his allegedly plagiarized book. Therefore, you are promoting said brand and book, even if you don’t want to. That is the reason why #Inktober should be boycotted in my opinion, at least until Jake Parker has (properly!) apologized for his actions.

Making mistakes is human, however, mistakes usually cause harm. That’s why we apologize! And because everyone of us makes mistakes, that’s why we forgive. However, there is no forgiveness without a proper apologize.

So yeah. Until the proper apologize happens - if it ever will (I doubt it to be completely honest, but if it happens, I’m open for it) - I am boycotting Inktober, and I think you should as well. If you still want to do it, that’s totally fine though. However, if you are like me and want to do something else now: here are some suggestions for you!

Alternatives to Inktober

Someone on Twitter has already compiled a pretty much complete list of every alternative October drawing challenge to Inktober. Because I am lazy - and they get to the point much faster than I am - I’m leaving the link here. However, there are some additional drawing challenges not in the list (at least the last time I checked), so here they are.

QUEERtober

If you’re part of or support the the LGBTQAI+ community, you might like this challenge created by KreuzUndQueer on Twitter. One prompt is for three days instead of one and the prompts generally deal with LGBTQAI+ themes.

DRAWlloween

This is another popular drawing challenge, although it has more to do with Halloween than with daily prompts as far as I am aware. The goal is to create something awesome related to the Halloween season. Depending on the host of the challenge, there might be additional rules as well.

Tumblr Inktober Alternatives

This is a short list I compiled last evening. I’m sure that there are plenty more awesome, but I can’t include every single one of them, so I just included my three favorites so far.

First up, we have of course the Boycottober Prompts by @h0tleafjuice, Chardesair and Sleepingdreams_ (both on Instagram), which I’m also thinking about tackling because I think they’re awesome and I have some ideas for.

If you want to go with a more witchy theme for this October, then @gnomehuts‘ Witchtober Prompts might be the right prompt list for you.

If you like Disney, or if you’re like me and you love Kingdom Hearts so much that you find a way to mention said game franchise in an anti-Inktober posting, then you might like the Disn-ober Prompts by @hermioneblack. There are no rules for the challenge and the prompts, just from what they are, can be used for non-Disney related stuff as well.

Change the rules, name or create your own challenge!

What you can of course also do is to just make up your own art challenge. You can just create your own prompt list, your own rules for Inktober, your own name for Inktober (popular suggestions as of now are Artober, Drawtober and Notinktober), even an entire challenge.

As an example, I took up the challenge of creating a Halloween Story with five chapters this year, which I am also going to illustrate (or at least... I’ll try to do that).

Use the #Inktober without actually participating in Inktober

The idea of this is to change the meaning of the #Inktober - by posting stuff that is either criticizing Jake Parker’s actions and Inktober in general or just... Stuff that really doesn’t belong there (such as memes), if you’re more of a trolly person.

Now, I personally don’t hold anything against trolls - in fact, I have trolled myself in the past - as long as they’re not overdoing it and are ready to face possible consequences of their trolling (such as people getting annoyed because the #Inktober is being spammed with memes). However, be aware that in case you decide to take the trolling route, you’re still promoting Jake Parker’s brand (depending on what kind of meme you post under the #Inktober). Therefore, I’d advocate against the trolling route in this instance.

And that’s it! If you’ve made it this far - or even if you only read part of this post - thank you so much for reading! I hope that no matter what you decide to do, you’re going to have a wonderful time and a wonderful October / Halloween season.

Happy creating!

[chipchopclipclop]

Any ships for the Witcher?

I GOT ALOT

this WAS under a readmore BC TUMBLR LIKES TO BREAK WHEN YOU EDIT ASKS I GUESS bc it started to get embarrassingly long but im pretty much a multi shipper in any fandom or thing im into but also especially with geralt if hes involved bc i like to hc him as being in love with like…80 percent of the people he knows and is a hashtag #openrelationship king bc the way this game treats him being weirdly exclusive annoys the fuck out of me we, live in our city now.

geralt is involved

Geralt/Dandelion - ouch my dick ouch my balls the original brain dick pounding. I pretty much like any iteration of them with each other but no show geralt bc game geralt is superior in every way 2 me (PERSONAL PREF PLS NO FLAME (him with no beard is fucked up also)) i usually dont like the pair though if people depict dandy as some… naive pure waif or some such…. this man is a hoe and stupid through and through dont overlook this. its important.

I am also actually am a sucker for geralt singing his praises quietly fr no goddamn reason aside from hes infatuated with him and getting weirdly defensive about him and everyone else around him is just like. Christ. this is influenced by me never being able to pick the bully options when i was playing w3 ( i am whipped)

Geralt/Eskel/Lambert - soon as i knew they were more wolf witchers my brain entered a state of superflux. which means i followed them around making mooney eyes constantly, Im more fond of Geralt/Eskel leg of this ot3 bc they have such. old married couple energy and i am in love with Eskel but i love and respect our king lambert as well and he deserves a good ramming, DONT WE ALL? I REST MY CASE.

i also like to think like geralt, the two are pretty open relationship wise by nature tho i could say this about any of these characters bc i like poly hawhaw but something about witchers being seen as unemotional and unfeeling but these guys just having alot of love to give to each other and with others…poetry 😔

Geralt/Yennefer - i have complicated feelings on this pairing bc the show confounded me in how it happened and then it felt so faking weird in w3 bc of all the weird jealousy love triangle stuff i was forced to sit through as well as yen p much just calling me a dumbass donkey every hour before being like alright. time to fuck randomly. and it was executed bad. i didn’t like it and it was bad.

BUT. the potential here is still good and i like a cagey yennefer who finds it hard to trust opening up more slowly to geralt bc hes just like. straightforward…. i think their convo on the boat was kind of cute too… i think i just am really not into the THEY’RE TIED BY DESTINY TO EACH OTHER. LIKE. LITERALLY. aspect of their relationship especially when they seem to clash to hard against it. when she broke the wish with the djinn though and they were acting sweet with each other it made me kinda 🥺 uhu…. my goth wife….

i also dont mind these two deciding they work better together platonically as well though and being like, chummy exes lolol the ribbing that would entail…

Geralt/Yennefer/Dandelion - i think aqua gave me the idea for this but i am tickled by the thought of Dandelion landing himself TWO powerful beau’s who will step in to defend him from the stupid shite he gets himself into 24/7. Yennefer walking in front of him while he gets cussed out by someone just saying “Is there a problem?” smiling menacingly… does that not fuck…. i say it does !

i think her and dandelion’s relationship is just…..very funny and not dramatic so its very fun to think about even romantically. and also geralt is there and plays the beleaguered straight man.

Geralt/Regis - i am putting this here even if i have not finished blood and wine yet bc oh my godddddddddddddddddddddddddddd [smacks head with rock] also my first interaction with w3 was watching a friend play one of his quests with another friend and and all three of us go mad bc we were like IS THIS MEANT TO BE DRIPPING WITH SEXUAL TENSION AND INNUENDO. WHAT IS GOING ON. ARE WE LOSING IT. HELLO. we all deserve a big word speaking vampire boyfriend

Keira/Geralt - they are cute…. i dont need to defend myself….her being so pompous around him is so funny 2 me

Geralt/Zoltan - i like zoltan okay, actually these two have similar retired dad energy but zoltan is the one who makes them go out for date night still

Geralt/Zoltan/Dandelion - i am thinking about it i am thinking about it

edit: Yennefer/Eskel/Geralt/Lambert - poki put this idea in my head just now GEE YENNEFER HOW COME YOUR MOM LETS YOU SMASH THREE WITCHERS?

not geralt centric

Triss/Yennefer - oh my god they were schoolmates.png and yenn calling triss her best friend made me go hmmmghhh 🥺 also im sick of this series being like oh no my best friend slept with my boyfriend, DRAMA! they are also dating okay shut up #lovewins, i need to intake more witcher content to further solidify these two as a pair in my head but its on the agenda. i am looking. i am watching. WAITING.

Eskel/Dandelion - take my faves and smack them together like barbie dolls also dandelion having a type thats just - witcher is comedy gold on top of that? eskel being flattered a pretty dude like this is into him…cute

Ciri/That One Readhead Girl Whose Name I Forgot - you know in the quest where ciri asks you to come around with her in novigrad and help thank the people who helped her and one was the cute barmaid with freckles, they were so cute what the fuck it lasted all of 5 minutes and i cant stop thinking about it, ciri’s government assigned girlfriend (i am the government)

Regis/Dandelion - when i was walking around his sick basement in w3 he had a book that dandelion has written about him in there… and all it said was nice things… and regis kept it in clear view? much to consider… thinking on this….

Priscilla/Dandelion - these two…surprisingly wholesome… also god i love bards. i dont think about the end of the quest where she gets owned for no reason they’re just faking chilling in novigrad making bank. ALSO i still cant believe these two dont come with you when you’re forming the avengers crew to defend kaer morhen how r they gonna write about it if they arent there !!!!!!! let them sit in the rafters and throw bombs conspiratorially !!!!! smh !!!!!

Priscilla/Yennefer - think pris having a hero crush on yennefer is very cute… she meets her for the first time and her thoughts r just oh god shes even prettier than the song said she was [brain explodes into mush] also her singing about her when geralt rocks up dare i say gay activity ?

Keira/Lambert - find it very funny w3 was like ‘and then keira decided to pick up lambert to roam around with her like he’s some weird fucking stray cat whos hair she likes to fuss over’ also lambert being forced to behave around her scholarly friends lmfao

Dandelion/Everyone okay - this man be fucking