#than the literal mafia trying to kill him.

[squalodinoappreciationsquad]

Ok, I felt a little bit called into the cause earlier on when I as lurking and reading @khr-guilded-cage posts.

And now I am wearing my clown wig and honk my kazoo and I am outlining the Canon Divergent AU where Dino, in spite of all, decides that he wants to support Xanxus during the Cradle Affair, screw everything.

Buckle up!

So.

Squalo has already killed Tyr, gained the title of Swords Emperor and as a bonus he is enrolled into the Varia.

This means that Dino and Squalo already argued bitterly, they are both mourning the loss of their situationship and they are just doing their thing.

Then ofc Xanxus explodes - we know why, I am not repeating this part.

Dino is on the fence.

His family is technically allied to the Vongola and by reason he should be supporting the Vongola against the Varia.

And yet.

Dino has never really gotten over his dad's death and he is kindof resenting Reborn for forcing him into a world he was desperately trying to run away from.

Dino knows perfectly that now if he doesn't support the Vongola, the Cavallone family is doomed.

And yet.

He knows Xanxus' situation well enough to think that it has never been a fair thing, he thinks that the only friend he has ever had is right there in the middle of everything.

Dino looks at Romario and Romario only says "we will follow our boss to hell and back".

And Dino decides that he is tired of the abuse, he is tired of being manhandled by Reborn, he is tired of being forced into situations and he is tired of not having any choice ever.

He shows up in the midst of the battle, the Vongola are already singing their victory, whilst the Varia look at him as if they want to kill him.

And Dino marches with his 5000 men into battle, right next to Xanxus and against the Vongola.

Now, I have two possible outcomes, you choose whichever you like best.

THE VARIA WIN

Well, the battle ends hen Xanxus kills Timoteo and incapacitates forever Iemitsu, whilst Reborn is nowhere to be found, being chased by some hellions. Dino literally left behind the chocolate and the sweetness he had to be able to just be the Bucking Bronco.

For him it is only half a victory, Reborn did manage to make him a ruthless mafia leader. He does have the Varia's gratitude and that means that now the Vongola are now under Xanxus.

Dino's debts are immediately erased, he gains enough influence and power, power that he immediately uses to elect a new Cavallone Decimo. Dino retires and only the Varia and Romario know where he lives and what he does

He has finally some choice, he decides to live as normally and as anonymously as possible, even though the blood on his hands definitely leaves his ugly mark.

At least he has rekindled his situationship with Squalo and Xanxus is civil with him.

This may mean no Tsuna in the picture.

THE VARIA LOSE

Well, the battle was fought valiantly on both sides, but the Vongola outnumbered the Varia and Cavallone.

Xanxus is put in the freezer, things go as per canon, but with a difference.

18 yrs old Squalo takes the command of the Varia ad interim and with the help of Marmon disguises all of the Cavallone survivors as Varia soldiers - he will have a lot of work between reforging documents, trying to make everything look good enough so that both Timoteo and Iemitsu think that everything is back under their control

Dino is also in the freezer - there is no fucking way they are letting go another Sky. Cue Squalo swearing another oath to free Dino as well, other than Xanxus.

Romario is in the Varia too, albeit disguised.

For the time being the Varia are behaving like role model citizens, but the plans are in the works.

And ofc Tsuna is in the picture.

Plans are being actioned - Tsuna has to see the Vongola's ruthlessness with his own eyes and once again Romario ill be a key.

Thoughts? Comments? Prayers?

[bl-bracket]

Anyways I know we settled that Pit Babe is the most unhinged BL today, but I can't close the book on talking about unhinged shows without talking about what is probably the most insane show of them all (at least in the ql-adjacent world)

like the first couple episodes is like "oooo spooky museum, cursed artifacts, bit of monster of the week but like with cursed items, is Dome Katha's reincarnated brother?" and then the last episode is "Katha has become the new Christian God. the moon has literally exploded and is going to end the world. Dome is actually one of the 4 horseman of the apocalypse and shot down from the sky to take over a normal guy named Dome's life. Dome isn't Katha's brother, that's Chan, another horseman of the apocalypse, who is from a different universe and also looks the same as Dome because all celestial creatures look like Dome because God made them all look like that across universes and God is Katha but not really. Dome and Chan were both from different universes (there's currently 3) but were all mixed around because Death (who also looks like Dome) killed his God and destroyed his universe so he's been hopping around trying to find a new God also he's possessed the body of Adam (like from the Bible) who had become a mannequin." and they made that jump in like 10 episodes

Truly one of the most unhinged pieces of television ever made I wish they made Katha and Dome kiss so I could include them in this bracket.

[joejhang]

andrew is so real for thinking neil is a hallucination cos now that we have outsider pov on him it's actually insane that he's a real person. like this is neil josten: he's the prettiest boy you've ever met. he's the runaway son of a serial killer. he has a million dollars but is afraid of spending money. he folds his clothes a specific way so he can tell when someone's gone through his stuff. he keeps a stalker's journal on the two greatest exy players of all time. he wears coloured contacts and they're brown. he paid a busboy $100 to knock him out cold. he insulted a celebrity athlete on live tv after trying to keep a low profile. he says he's trying to stay alive while running towards death like it's a race. he mouths off to the mafia. he respects your boundaries and is the first person ever to take you at face value and not consider you an out of control psychopath. he orders hits on your abusers. he has the most electric blue eyes you've ever seen. he looks great in clubbing clothes but dresses like he's homeless. he insults someone for their "intricate and endless daddy issues" while his father is a convicted mobster and serial killer. he didn't give a fuck when his teammate was killed. everyone seems to like him even though it's clear he's hiding a million secrets. he doesn't catch on to the many many hints you're giving him. he calls you out not for being a danger to others but for being a danger to yourself. he thinks you should be protected as well as trusting you to protect him (and you think, how can someone be a victim and a protector?). he doesn't give a flying fuck what literally anyone thinks about him. he comes back from being waterboarded and tortured and abused for weeks (to protect you) and is still as feisty and bitchy as before. except now he's a redhead and has many more scars. he is possibly the first person to ever make the active decision to protect you. he's willing to put himself in harm's way again and again and again so he won't lose you. he always has a cigarette but he never smokes. he says "you're not actually a sociopath are you?" and "the next time someone calls you soulless i might have to fight them". even though he's messy and a little oblivious he's sees you. he might be the only person to ever want you off your drugs. he wants to see you lose control, is aware that you're not out of control, you're actually so controlled and restrained all of the time and he wants to see you feel something, he wants you to be angry, be angry at him. he riles you up on purpose to see you show emotion, feel something. he's a runner and yet he's still possibly the bravest person you've ever met. he gets kidnapped and comes back even more bruised and battered than before and he's still a mouthy little shit who bitches at the press and cuts deals with the yakuza. he's most of the reason why the worst team in the nation ends up winning championships. he shoves a guy clean off his feet because they body checked you. he punched celebrity athlete riko moriyama in public, for you. he threatens him, for you. he's almost killed on live tv. he mouths off to the fbi. he watches the (second) best exy player in the world get shot. he also watches his father, notorious serial killer and gangster, get shot in front of him. and he laughs. he smiles. he kisses you and is never gonna run again and he's free and he wants to be with you, he wants you.

[gallusrostromegalus]

So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"

While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.

Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.

Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".

So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.

"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.

"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.

Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.

The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.

The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"

"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.

"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.

"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."

It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.

"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.

Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"

---

If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.

[holybibly]

Today's unholy hour is inspired by this post. Hey, @pixlpxie it seems there are so many unholy thoughts in your pretty head, I will be glad to see you in my inbox.

Life sucks, but you suck better. Or your mafia daddy needs to relax and you're more than happy to oblige.

A low, cooing growl emanates from San's plump lips as he reclines in a luxurious leather chair; it's licking your heated bare skin and causing your hips to slowly sway from side to side in depraved, sweet pleasure.

"That's right, Gongjunim, take it deeper." San's hand gently runs through your hair, brushing a few stray strands away from your pretty face so that he can get a better view of how your little kitty tongue runs along the entire length of his big, thick cock, before he tightly clenches a large handful of your silky locks in his fist. In response, you obediently relax your throat and allow San to slowly move your head up and down the velvety length of his cock, gradually stretching your throat before he pushes his cock sharply into the tight, hot wetness of your larynx. 

You gag on it; the slippery walls tighten around his cock, pressing down on the sensitive, swollen veins that stretch tantalisingly along the massive, heavy length, the sensation making him curse and pull your head back. As his entire cock leaves your mouth, you smack wetly at the swollen, red head of his cock, the viscous, frothy saliva inflating like a bubble before it bursts and runs down on his dick and over your chin. You blink away the tears that are forming in your eyes and look up at him with a look of pure innocence in your eyes. This is what San loves so much about you—your fucking saccharine sweetness that literally sticks to his tongue.

"Damn, you were made to suck my dick, kitten. What a beautiful little girl you are. Always be so good for your daddy. Look at this doll mouth, covered in drool and cum. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes, Gongjunim?" He purrs in a sultry and hoarse voice, his muscular thighs jerking upwards and his wet dick slapping against your open mouth. 

His sweet praise causes your little hole to squeeze around nothing, and your clit begins to pulsate faintly, as if San had just licked it with his tongue. You let out a pitiful moan at this, batting your long, fluffy eyelashes at him and planting small, sucking kisses on the sensitive, pink flesh of his dick, which is shiny and wet with pre-cum and sticky with your saliva, and you're convinced once again that your daddy's cock is the most delicious. In fact, it feels amazing on your tongue—hot and hard, just the way you like it. You dip the tip of your tongue lightly into the oozing slit at the top of his thick head.

San leans back on the back of his chair and moans so loudly and so vulgarly that any porn actor would be completely ashamed. His black hair is matted, his chiselled, sharp jaws slack, his lips parted, and his eyes dark and heavy as he hungrily watched your plump lips stretch around his cock.

When his sharp cat eyes meet yours, he gives you a slow, predatory grin—a beautiful, cocky look that makes you squirm in your spot between his spread legs.

Determined to give your daddy more pleasure, you drag your tongue around the head of his cock before wrapping your lips completely around it, sucking in your cheeks, and pulling back until his dick pops out of your mouth with wet sucking sounds.

San hisses and grits his teeth. He throws his head back, exposing his thick neck to your gaze, glistening with sweat and with bulging veins.

"Fuck, you're killing me, Gongjunim. My precious girl, the best cocksucker of all time.".

Encouraged by his words, you repeat this action a few more times; the disgusting slurping sound that you make when you do it is muffled by the massive size of his cock in your mouth. You take a deep breath through your nose and drag his cock along your tongue until the head hits the back of your throat, and you choke slightly, trying to control the urge to gag. 

Looking down at you, San laughs darkly; the sound is hoarse and absolutely evil. His large, slightly coarse hands begin to massage your shoulders and the sides of your neck.

"Perfect, finest Daddy's toy. I love you so much, Princess."

You whimper at his words and leave wet, smeared kisses on the sides of his big, beautiful cock. You don't look at him anymore. You're too busy licking up the pre-cum and pressing the swollen, wet head of his cock against the inside of your cheek, the way you know San likes it.

You let out a pitiful moan as you try to swallow him whole, pushing his thick girth deeper and deeper into the narrow tunnel of your throat as you go. As you look up at him again with your tear-filled eyes, you take a deep breath before you relax your jaw completely and swallow him down as far as you can. The outline of his cock is clearly visible on the back of your neck, which only serves to excite San even more.

"Fuck, kitten; that's right. Always be so hard-working for your daddy. Do you love Daddy's cock so much?" His fingers dig into your skin in a painful way, and you let out a half-squeal and slap San on one of his veiny forearms. He mumbles something and apologises, then relaxes his fingers to grab you by the hair instead and set his own pace the way you suck him off.

San holds your head in place, his strong, muscular thighs tightening on either side of your head before he lifts them up, thrusting roughly and briefly into your malleable, soft mouth. San doesn't go as deep as he could; he stretches out his pleasure and just uses you as a nice, tight sleeve for his cock. He gives you a few more quick thrusts before he pushes your head down with all his might until your nose is pressed against the smooth, wet skin of his pubic area. Your lips are stretched out around the base of his cock in the most beautiful way possible, while his balls are pressed tightly against your chin.

You swallow thickly and heavily around it, choking completely on his thick cock as you feel the distinct pulsation of his hot length on your tongue.

"Oh my God, you're so goddamn good, Gongjunim, fuck! You make Daddy feel so good. Do you enjoy gagging on my cock, gorgeous?" San moans, practically choking to death as you mooe incoherently around him, causing his cock to press even harder against your airway. "You take all of my cock like a fucking champ, huh? I'm so proud of you, beautiful. Do you know that?" He hisses, and it makes your pussy clench up with the need to be filled with his sperm.

It's all dirty and disgusting, and as you lift your head up and slide your lips along his cock, viscous saliva coats his silky skin and stretches to your lips in long strands as you pull away completely to take a breath, looking at him with wide eyes as you move your jaw to ease the pain a little.

"Do it one more time, kitten. Deepthroat again." He exhales, his feline eyes darkening and becoming heavy, completely clouded with lust and needing to please.

San wraps his arms around the warm nape of your neck from behind and pulls your flushed face back down onto his cock. You immediately give him a sweet kiss on the head of his cock before you allow San to take his wet, drooling and pre-cum covered cock back between your swollen lips, stretching them out around the hard flesh and pulsating veins. "You can handle this, Gongjunim. I am absolutely sure of it."

His broad shoulders tense, his muscles straining and clenched under his sweaty golden skin, and he holds his breath, watching as you lower yourself onto him again, his lips parted, his breathing heavy and uneven, and San watches in fascination as you roll your eyes in pleasure, enjoying the slight pain of his huge cock pushing back down your throat and even deeper into the hot tightness of your larynx to choke you completely.

His moan is long, low, and purring like a predatory big cat, so depraved that it causes a thick stream of wetness to flow from your tiny hole. And that's another thing San adores about you. Your hole is so tight and small that even though he fucks you non-stop, each time San has to make an effort to push his massive cock inside your pussy.

San's hand slides over your shoulders, the short nails leaving red lines on your skin as you swallow extra hard and choke, leaving your own possessive marks in the shape of crescent moons on his thick thighs and the perfect six-pack of his abs. Your daddy is all yours, and you love to mark him in every possible way.

His stomach tightens just as much as his luscious thighs do, and you lean back for a bit of a break as you feel the twitch of his cock in your mouth.

"God, you're going to make me cum." He growls as he pulls you back into him. Your eyes flutter, tears streaming down your plump, hot cheeks. You moan loudly, opening your mouth and sticking out your soft, slobbery tongue desperate to please your daddy.

He pushes into your mouth again, sharp and deep, his hot length sliding between the tight walls of your throat. San rolls his hips a little as he fucks your face; his rhythm is steady and slow.

"You have fun with that, don't you?" He asks as he wraps his long fingers around your neck so that he can feel the bulge of his cock in your throat. It also cuts off what little space you had left to breathe in.

You go completely still and enjoy all the attention that your daddy is giving you right now. His big hand pulls you even closer to him until your chin is resting on his balls once more. 

"Do you want my cum, kitten?" You nod weakly with his cock still in your mouth, feeling the drool running down your chin from your rocking movements. San purrs in a sultry way and runs his thumb over your hot, red cheek, enjoying your wet, husky sigh as his fingers relax around your neck. "Oh, sweet girl, I will give you all of it, I promise. Daddy is going to feed his little kitty with his milk."

There is a dark promise lurking in his voice, and it makes your whole body tremble. Your toes curl with a sharp wave of desire, and you shake your bottom from side to side. San calms you down and pats you gently on the shoulders. "Don't worry, I'll make you feel so good afterwards. I'm going to try you too, Gongjunim. Daddy is going to lick your dripping, sweet cunt, my baby.".

You lower your mouth onto his cock again, and San can't take it any more. He moans lustfully, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes, his hands beginning to massage your shoulders and neck again, sending the sharp heat of pleasure sparkling through your skin.

His thick, luxurious thighs suddenly begin to tremble, and he growls like a fucking animal as your tongue presses against the bulging vein on his cock, his beautiful stomach flexes, and his toned pecs rise and fall with heavy, raspy breathing. You feel his abs twitching under your hand, and at that moment, your mouth is filled with his cum. It's a thick, copious stream of warm liquid that rushes down the back of your throat and causes you to choke. You have to step back so that you can drink all of his cum and get a good taste of it.

You purr sweetly as you lick the throbbing head of his cock with your tongue, lapping it, slurping it, and swallowing all of the bittersweet, milky liquid. The sperm leaks out of your parted mouth and runs down the silky length of his cock. You chase after the sticky drops and suck them, retracting your cheeks as hard as you can and wrapping your lips around his cock to suck him dry. God, if it were possible, you could drink his cum instead of water. You're so fucked for your hot Mafia daddy.

You lower your mouth onto his cock again, and San can't take it any more. He moans lustfully, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes, his hands beginning to massage your shoulders and neck again, sending the sharp heat of pleasure through your skin.

His thick, luxurious thighs suddenly begin to tremble, and he growls like a fucking animal as your tongue presses against the bulging vein on his cock, his beautiful stomach flexes, and his toned pecs rise and fall with heavy, raspy breathing. You feel his abs twitching under your hand, and at that moment, your mouth is filled with his cum. It's a thick, copious stream of warm liquid that rushes down the back of your throat and causes you to choke. You have to step back so that you can drink all of his cum and get a good taste of it.

You purr sweetly as you lick the throbbing head of his cock with your tongue, lapping it, slurping it, and swallowing all of the bittersweet, milky liquid. The sperm leaks out of your parted mouth and runs down the silky length of his cock. You chase after the sticky drops and suck them in with your cheeks as hard as you can to suck them dry. You suck his cock like you are the best girl in the world. God, if it were possible, you could drink his cum instead of water. You're so fucked for your hot Mafia daddy.

Through it all, San lets out deep, aching moans as he says your name, showering you with praise and compliments. He whispers sweetly to you, ‘My sweet kitten,’ ‘The best cocksucker ever,’ ‘My little slut queen,’ as his sperm continues to spurt onto your tongue. His hips arching languidly forward in time with your movements of your mouth as he cupping the back of your head and squeezing the base of his big cock with his other hand, as if he could squeeze more cum out of himself for you.

When you finally pull away from him, you swallow thickly and greedily, looking up at him with huge, watery eyes before you open your mouth and stick out your tongue to once again run your tongue over the pink head of his cock. He hisses in hypersensitivity, grinning at you and stroking his cock sluggishly. Another lazy stream of cum leaks onto your tongue and runs down the tattooed knuckles of his fingers, which you eagerly lick. As if San could sense that you couldn't get enough of more cum, it bursts out of his slit like a viscous, white thread. It lands on your lips and wet chin, covering your pretty face with a milky, pale glaze.

"You always know how to give a good blow job, my princess." He mumbles lazily as he watches your licking of your lower lip. You smile at him and nod your head, moving slightly away from his hips as they spread apart.

He grabs your hair in his fist before you can get too far away and bends his arm to pull you up against his strong body so that he can kiss you. He pushes his tongue into your mouth, causing you to whimper and moan into his lips, your small hands wrapped around his thick, tight neck as he kisses you. San explores your mouth with sighs and moans, his hands caressing your breasts and moving down your back, massaging your ass, your hips, and your waist. As his strong fingers dig into the aching muscles of your neck, you feel as if you are melting away beneath him.

San releases you from his grasp, only for a change of position. He pushes you down to the floor and folds you in half so that your knees are close to your head and your wet little pussy is completely open and at his disposal. Your hips arch as his tongue flicks over the soft, sensitive skin of your pussy and you gasp, "Daddy!" and clutch his beautiful silky hair. His hands are gripping your hips tightly, thick fingers pressing into the flesh to force your writhing hips into his face so that he can bury his nose in your aching, slutty сunt.

"Now it's my turn, kitten." He growls as he licks up the thick juices that are pooling between your folds before he plunges into your clit with a disgusting, lewd slurp.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Mafia!Konig X Reader who borrowed money and now has no way to give it back (que to porno scene of her paying back with her bod-)

You knew borrowing money from someone like him was a bad idea. Worst idea you had in your life. Usually, when a person is having money troubles, they should come to the bank and ask for a loan nicely. Maybe talk to some friends and relatives. If anything, just come to some predatory cash transfer service. Of course, if you had any of those options available, you wouldn't be sitting on your knees now, sucking the dick of some ex-military asshole who decided that his PTSD and connections give him the right to police normal, law-obeying citizens. Of course, if you had literally any other option, you would have just gone with it. But it's not possible, not for you - and you needed money as fast as possible. Without any way of paying it back, you're surprised they didn't just kill you outright and then harvest your organs.

"Come on, Schatzi. Be nice and I won't sell you, ja?" There is a gun nudging in your forehead as you suck deeper, trying so hard not to choke. The man - Konig, fittingly, although you fucking hated that stupid name - was enjoying the struggle you put on as you tried to deep-throat his beast of a cock. It's too much, he is choking you without even moving - but you want to be good because otherwise, you'd be dead. And this is...well, not an option. Not even in the slightest. He promised that he wouldn't sell you for organ harvest and wouldn't kill you if you were good for him. He said you're cute, cuter than the usual borrowers. He mumbles something about the last girl he had running away after they found out what he did - but you won't be like this, surely, you already know who he is, and you aren't scared. It's weird, to listen to his mumbles like you're already together - and you don't want to be like this, but he almost sounds...hopeful. Happy. He pats your head with his gun and you can hear a smile in his voice. Nice, kind words covering you - something about giving you more time to pay out the debt. Something about leaving you with him, since he does needs an arm candy. You can refuse - if you have money to pay out, of course. You don't. Looks like Vienna's criminal scene will finally open up to you.

[chuuya-kisser]

THEORY TIME THEORY TIME

ok. so. first of all FYODOR FCKIN DOSTOEVSKY I LIKE U AND ALL BUT???? REMAIN DEAD??? U JESUS FR??

ANYWAYS ignoring that

so bc i adore skk to hell and back obviously im gonna explore their dynamic first

what kills me is how familiar they are with each other. they arent insulting each other in every sentence, which is still alright. and what struck me the most is how much dazai seems to trust chuuya. more so than anyone.

so far we know that dazai isn't exactly the most open person around. his entire cheerful joking persona is a facade, a fake. what you see is usually only what he wants to show you. his real emotions? ive only seen them very rarely, if at all. now look at these

the way chuuya says what he does implies that he is already used to this habit of dazai's, which is only possible if dazai did this in his mafia days, AND even then, he was open and willing enough to let chuuya see it and know that dazai was anxious. which means that even before mersault, before dazai left the mafia, he and chuuya atleast were that close that the usually closed-off, know-everything demon prodigy could show his worry to his partner, multiple times.

i think that over here, dazai really isnt hiding his emotions. you can see the shock and worry on his face and in his eyes clearly as he puts the pieces together. not only that, hes also laying out parts of his plan to chuuya, in addition to his theories. which he rarely does unless im wrong about that (its possible). he isnt worried about chuuya using his emotions and weaknesses against him, because he trusts him enough, although i think the trust between them was already shown when both of them fake-killed each other.

its easy to see the panic in his eyes, and personally i feel that this is him showing a bit of weakness, which is perfectly alright. the thing is that again, hes letting chuuya see this. I very much doubt that he would have let down his facade enough to show this to absolutely anyone else.

also the poor guy literally looks so stressed out here give him a goddamn break asagiri

aaaaand now chuuya.

now what strikes me is that even in the last chapter/s, chuuya has multiple times tried to reassure dazai that fyodor is indeed dead to try and calm down dazai's worries. this can also be him also wanting a damn break but anyways.

and these panels. while many ppl are agreeing that hes just sitting there being a pretty boy while dazai tows through helicopter debris (and i agree), and definitely chuuyas sadistic streak when it comes to dazai is showing itself clearly, its often been seen in both the official arts and animanga that whenever working together, chuuya always covers dazai's blind spots.

think about it. dazai has his back turned towards everything. if someone launched a surprise attack on him at this moment, the chances of him dodging, finding out abt it in time is pretty low. chuuya is directly behind dazai. i got this idea from another post i saw, but what if this is also chuuya covering for dazai yet again? protecting him?

anyways thats it folks maybe ill make another post on jesus- i meant fyodor soon

[thejollywriter]

IT'S TIME TO LAUNCH THE BOOK

WELCOME FRIENDS, TO THE BEGINNING OF AN ADVENTURE! Allow me to introduce to you, DELILAH JONES; free-lance Robin Hood and bad-ass extraordinaire.

In the cyberpunk future of The Redwood Files, Delilah Jones is half film-noire private detective, and half western-gunslinger, who rides into a lawless town and fights the bullies and the bastards that hurt innocent folks.

This anthology contains SIX, count 'em SIX short stories and novellas detailing Delilah's Adventures.

Through a Dream, Lethally; When tech CEO Michael Lense decides to hijack the soft-RAM in his employees heads in order to make people do his bidding, things can get awful, FAST. Being forced, without your consent, to be an assassin or a thief or a sex worker, and more. But Lense also has the city under-thumb. Only Delilah's got the brute force to break Lense's control, and free the city from his cruel influence.

Happy Endings, Guaranteed; Delilah has a partner, and after a long day of nonsense, is looking forward to visiting them at work to unwind. Only to get to the club where her partner works, and discover that they've been KIDNAPPED! Delilah races around the city, squaring up with every underworld hard-ass she comes across following every lead to find her partner. Except nothing is what it seems, and a simple (but tragic) kidnapping turns out to be way more nefarious than Delilah expected. . .

Delilah's Heart; recovering from the last adventure weeks later, Delilah meets a handsome butch at a dive bar. Things between the two show promise, but the butch gets called back to work by an abusive bastard who violates and exploits his employees. The butch asks Delilah for help, and as she digs into it, discovers a deeply connected mafia bookmaker who uses that underground protection to kill and exploit people without fear of consequences. Delilah's the only one who can bring justice down on this bastard, but it threatens a gang war if she does. . .

Gutter Medicine; a gang of outta-town skinheads robs an impoverished clinic in a rough neighborhood. Delilah digs into the theft, and promises to recover the medicine, only to discover that the outta-towners are stirring up trouble to pave the way for an invasion from the South. A Kingpin from Los Angeles is hungry for expansion, and Redwood is fertile ground. Unless Delilah can stop the gang, and convince the Kingpin it'd be too expensive to expand beyond the safe borders of LA.

Restitution; Delilah's robbing a rich billionaire's museum-like mansion one night when she's caught by an unlikely sentry, a very old man who'd had plans of trying to embarrass the billionaire for reneging on a deal, and leaving the old man destitute. Delilah invites him to tell his story, and she volunteers to see justice done, according to Delilah's exacting standards.

In a Name?; every trans person's name comes from a personal place and an intimate choice. This story is about a young thief, with big dreams and a hard head, how she picked her name, and the day she was reborn into Delilah-fucking-Jones.

These stories have literally been years in the making. Some of them are personal, all of them are personal favorites, and this anthology is a collection I've worked very hard on.

Genre fiction is deeply important to me, and I love bringing queer characters to this space. Every story published in this book appeared first, both as ideas and in rough-and-final drafts on my patreon.

HERE'S HOW TO BUY AND SUPPORT THE QUEER NOVELIST IN QUESTION!

my ko-fi store: this is the most direct way to support me (a disabled queer novelist) and I get the biggest cut if you buy the e-book from this source

AMAZON! you want a paperback, YOU GOT A PAPERBACK

and lastly, if you want to see my writing in advance, get your name in the credits, or get special copies in advance, my patreon

thank you for your support, and happy reading <3

[detectivebambam]

Kevin:

watches a man get cut into pieces, literally being tortured to death in the most brutal way possible at the ripe age of eight

gets abused and tortured to the brink of insanity

was told his whole life that he is Riko's pet, and is not to disobey him or Tetsuji

^ does anyway

has to watch, and often help torture his best friend, who is two years younger than him

's mother died and left him in a cult when he was in elementary school

didn't know his own father until he was 15

begged in every langauge he knew to stop being tortured

's headboard didn't move an inch. Neil was in his spot for two weeks, and survived not because he didn't break, but because Jean did. Neil said he'd never been in so much pain.

was not raised as a human being

is owned by the Yakuza, a notorious and insanely powerful mafia

was raised to be an athlete and nothing else, then broke his hand and thought he'd never play again, meaning he'd be killed

is a Fox through and through

fought his way through a cult mindset to the point that he can have fun with his friends, eat ice cream, sleep when he feels like it, etc.

cares tremendously about his Foxes

makes deals with people who have nothing else to live for in order to keep them alive

is twenty two years old. is only 4 years out of high school. is a literal child, and WAS a literal child when he left EAU

some random ass anons who probably read the books when they were 13 and haven't taken their heads out of their asses since then:

kEviN dAy iS a cOwaRd !?!???!!!!!!

shut the fuck up I'm so done with this. these people have no fucking clue what they're talking about and i guarantee most of them are just looking for attention and trying to get a rise out of people.

it stops being fictional when people who went through the same shit he did have to see a bunch of people talking out of their ass about things they don't and never will understand

[stxrrynightskies]

𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

✩°｡⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: r. akutagawa x reader

⋆｡° ✮ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: just some boyfriend headcanons with my favourite boy

⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: first post, i hope you enjoy it!

✩ he’s the type to act like he doesn't know you in public (but he does it to protect you)

✩ pretends he doesn't care about you but would quite literally tear yokohama apart if something were to happen to you

✩ obviously, he needs a lot of praise and reassurance

✩ "who did this to you?" type of guy

✩ he gets a little insecure about your relationship. he knows you love him, but sometimes he wonders why

✩ always acts like he doesn't want to do all those cute little dates with you when in reality, he loves them

✩ he gets jealous sooooo easily

✩ the softest boy imaginable when the two of you are alone

✩ his smile is only reserved for you

✩ as much as he tries ignoring you in public, if he sees you, he immediately hovers over to you

✩ he'll always sit silently and listen to you rant about your day or your interests

✩ after a long night of work, he'd make his way to your house and slip into your bed with you and just hold you close

✩ loves being the little spoon

✩ sometimes, when you try walking away from him, he'll use rashomon to wrap around your waist and pull you back

✩ never lets his anger issues get the better of him around you

✩ the best part of his day is to fall into your arms and cuddle until you both fall asleep

✩ and if you're not a touchy-feely person, he'd be more than happy to just enjoy your presence

✩ rarely has emotional moments but when he does, he gets so overwhelmed and just wants to curl up in bed with you

✩ because he works odd hours in the mafia, sometimes you'll wake up to him making breakfast for the two of you, and sometimes he won't wake up until three in the afternoon

✩ at the beginning of your relationship, he absolutely hated physical contact because it reminded him of his days with dazai

✩ constantly afraid of messing up in front of you

✩ but your gentle manner let you bypass his walls

✩ would rather die that admit he's wrong during an argument (until realizes he's gone to far)

✩ you're always the first person he goes to when he gets any form of good news

✩ so good at painting nails (and doing hair)

✩ sometimes, he'd make you listen to a song and tell you "this reminds me of you." whether it's romantic of silly (same with memes)

✩ he loves matching outfits when you guys go out

✩ you better believe he's got incredible fashion sense

✩ absolutely melts when you play with his hair

✩ he has one specific (and unique) pet name for you and would literally kill anyone who refers to you by it

✩ secret hand-holding under the table when you're out with friends

✩ you guys have a son (it's a stray cat that akutagawa begged to keep one night on the way home)

𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

[that-weeb-in-ur-closet]

Oooh please relationship headcanons (nsfw & sfw) for gojo, chuuya and fyodor (or whichever one they choose)... including what they would be like as a partner and what they would go for in a partner?

Oooh!! Nonnie, I'd love to. I don't write for Fyodor YET, but I do write for Chuuya and Gojo.

I'll do Chuuya today and Gojo tomorrow ☆☆☆

Chuuya Nakahara:

Sfw headcanons.

♡ He is the sweetest thing, and nobody can change my mind about that. He's the type to just stare at you, and when you ask him about it, he's just like, "I can't help it. You're just too pretty."

♡ He loves it when you wear his clothes, even better if you're (somehow) shorter than him. Sometimes, he'll take off his hat and put it on you, kissing your cheek as he looks at you. He's a hopeless romantic.

♡ I can see him being like, "I don't have a type." before he got a girlfriend, now that he has one, if anybody asks—he's just like, "My type is my girlfriend."

♡ The second you and him made it official, he RAN to his phone and called Dazai. "GUESS WHAT YOU SON OF A BITCH, I GOT A GIRLFRIEND!" "Good job, Chuuya. It only took you twenty years." He got mad and hung up.

♡ He's so scared of losing you, so he just never let's you go. Hugging you from behind, holding your hand, hand on your thigh while driving, any sort of physical contact makes him feel comforted.

♡ He's so protective over you. He LOVES YOU SO MUCH, and he just doesn't ever wanna lose you. If you're in the PM with him, he'll try not to let you fight much and just shield you and did that even before you got into a relationship. You found it kinda weird how he would go out of his way to protect you and nobody else, and when you brought it up, he just mumbled "shut up" and walked away like a gremlin.

♡ He loves it when you play with his hair. He has never felt such a soft touch, and it makes him feel so fuzzy and warm when you softly run your fingers through it. It's long and pretty, and you both love it. When you're making out with him and gently grip the back of his hair? That leads to something more.

♡ He gets really confused if you try internet couple trends on him. "W-what are you saying?? I'm a grown man, I'm not a baby girl!!"

♡ You gets mad really easily, but with you, it's not anger. It's just flusteredness and cute blushies. He literally can't get mad at you, no matter what, he just loves you.

NSFW HEADCANONS

☆ He's a dom. Sometimes he's rough, sometimes he's gentle. If you tease him too much, he'll be a bitch and tease you until you're begging. "Awe, what's wrong, doll? Can't take it? Then behave like a good girl."

☆ His voice??? HELLO??? Why does nobody talk about it??? His dub voice is just-... Hearing his accent makes you wet. And he takes full advantage of it. He'll lean real close to you and lick your ear, smirking into your skin, "Baaaabbbbyyyy... You look so pretty tonight... Do you even know what you do to me? Let me show you."

♡ About the hand on your thigh while driving? Yeah, that's how car sex happens. It's just the way he looks driving one-handed, the feeling of a gloved hand on your thigh, how he only "Hms" in his groggy voice to everything you say.

♡ His biggest kinks are probably dry humping. He loves it when you sit on his lap happily while watching a movie, especially if it's a romantic movie. A sex scene suddenly pops up? He'll grab your hips and slowly grind you against his boner, moaning and whining into your ear softly. (Maybe a mommy kink too but I don't wanna talk about it)

♡ If you're BOTH a part of the Mafia, like I said— he'll be protective. But sometimes, when he sees you fighting another man? He'll get jealous. So, what does he do? He fuckd you in front of them. He's gonna kill the man anyway, he's just gonna die with cum on his face.

♡ His hands. There shouldn't be any other words, but I'm saying more anyway. They're long and skinny, and they can curl inside of you so EASILY. He's skilled with them. He'll delicately flick your soft nipple and make it hard on a sweet day, or roughly grab and pinch them on a bad day. He loves when you suck on them, sometimes not even sexually, you'll just be sitting or walking and he'll put his finger in your mouth.

♡ He's the definition of Short King Anthem. I'm not gonna say anything else.

♡ He does this thing where he'll grind his hips in circles, and when I tell you, you've never felt more pleasure in one night. Ever. He KNOWS how good it feels, well, at least judging by the way you scream for him.

♡ You've made him cry during sex. A lot. And it's only because he adores feeling you, hearing your breath, hearing you moan for him and only him. He never thought he'd feel so loved, and he wants more of it. The crying only got into an emotional breakdown ONCE, and it was the first time you had sex. You didn't mind, which made him cry more.

♡ He's a big softie at heart and just wants to be touched. Aftercare with him is godly. He makes sure he didn't hurt you, makes sure you're okay and everything. He'll pick you up and take you to the bathroom to get cleaned up and does all the work. After that, he cuddles with you all night, pressed as close as physically possible to you.

He's a lover boy, change my mind.

[tizeline]

I’ve never seen a separated au with Leo being raised by big mama, what do you think that would be like? (Since he’s kinda rebellious)

For the record, there are AUs where Leo's been raised by Big Mama, the ones I know of are Gemini AU by tangledinink and True Colors AU by v-albion. I'm not super familiar with either of them, but they're there if you wanna check them out.

That being said-

LEO being raised by BIG MAMA omg I have THOUGHTS

Listen, I don't see enough people compare Leo to Big Mama, but he's quite similar to her. Splinter and BM never got a kid together, BUT IF THEY DID that kid would literally be Leo he's basically just a fusion of the two of them!!

As I've mentioned several times before because I love bringing it up, Leo is strategic, quick-witted, observant and good at talking. In the show (as well as in my own AU) Leo's strengths aren't really recognized, let alone aknowledged for a big portion of the story. Because of that, for a long time he doesn't really get the chance to develop these skills, as much potential Leo has to become a master planner his impulsiveness and inexperience has a tendency to get him into trouble.

BUT! All of these skills also happen to be skills that Big Mama has and would value in Leo. So if he were to actually have to opportunity to not only be raised by BM but also trained by her for his entire life. If he got to properly learn strategy, planning, manipulation...?

... Holy shit Leo would be terrifying.

Think about it, canon!Leo managed to out-smart BM in Many Unhappy Returns without any real experience, just imagine what he could do with a whole life-time of training.... yikes!

Not sure what exactly Big Mama and Leo's relationship would look like. In my opinion she would view him as her son and love him dearly, especially if she knew that he's Splinter's biological son.... it's just that BM has interesting ways of showing affection. ("The love of my life just proposed to me?? Great! I'm gonna lock him up in my gladiator fighting ring for the rest of eternity!") She'd at the very least be quite controlling, I imagine.

As you pointed out, Leo can be quite rebellious, so that mixed with Big Mama's obsessive need to be in complete control of everyone around her would certainly cause some tension. Actually... considering how clever Leo would be in this AU... uh oh.

All of these qualities that BM initially appreciated and encouraged in Leo, what if, as Leo became more and more capable, Big Mama started to eventually view them in a more negative light? If she feels like she's loosing control over Leo, if she interprets Leo's rebellion as not just a normal teenage need for independence but rather him malicously working against her. What if she starts viewing him not as an asset or as a tool, but rather a threat?

If BM has reason to believe that Leo might try to overthrow her and take control over her criminal empire, she might take preemptive action and get rid of him before he has the chance to get rid of her.... Not like murder-get-rid-of, I don't think she'd just kill him, lol! But like lock him up, maybe throw him into the Battle Nexus, I dunno. Anything that would allow her to remain in control of both him and her business.

As for Leo, maybe he would actually try to overthrow BM. Considering he was raised by a literal mafia boss, his moral compass is gonna be a bit wack. Maybe Leo's desire for control over himself would cause him to try to seize control over his mother's business. Oooooorrrrr maybe Leo just wants some independance but doesn't actually want to compete with BM, so when she interprets his actions and behavior as malicious he's not prepared for that at all and, as a result, is more than a little hurt that his own mother would take such extreme actions against him. Who knows?

Hhhhhhh there's a lot of fun posibilities here but MAN I'm not really in the mood to work on an entirely new AU. Maybe I'll create some art for it I dunno, this concept is really fun, but I'm not gonna turn this into a proper Thing, so if anyone else wanna steal this concept and explore it for themselves, feel more than free to do that!

[babyangelsky]

BL Challenge 2k24 ✨Day 7✨

Hello and welcome to @negrowhat's 15 Day BL Challenge! Full challenge can be found here.

Favorite Villain: Korn Theerapanyakul

It isn't often that we get an actual villain in a BL. We have plenty of love rivals but those are rarely ever villains in the true sense of the word. We also have a large, unfortunate array of shitty parents and parental figures, some of which absolutely do fall into the villain category, but they don't deserve my effort or your attention.

But then we have Korn.

Korn is a villain. Make absolutely no mistake about that. This man has dedicated his life to playing 4D chess with everyone around him, including and especially his sons, and he's brilliant at it. There is never a moment where he isn't in control, there is never a moment where he hasn't thought at least five steps ahead, and he has very few blind spots.

What gets me—and what makes him that much more insidious in my opinion—is how he presents himself to the world.

♡ gif by @guzhufuren from this set

"This man, a villain? Never! He's just a nice, soft-spoken dad in a sweater vest! Sure he's a bit intimidating but he's in the mafia, it's to be expected. And just look at how accepting he is of his gay sons! He's looking at a photo of his son and his son-in-law and smiling, isn't that lovely?"

False!

Korn's image is perfectly curated and if you only look on the surface, from the outside that's exactly what he is: a nice dad and a respectable businessman. He's rational, calm, and level-head, especially when you compare him to Gun—which you can't not do. It's impossible to have a conversation about Korn without talking about Gun, who is absolutely just as bad and who I easily could've chosen.

The difference is that Gun's evil is overt and in a way, it's more...honest because of it. He's not out here pretending to be a good person or trying to be anything other than exactly what he is. What you see is what you get. However, I chose Korn precisely because of that insidiousness, because his evil appears so much more subtle but only when it remains in the shadows.

♡ gif by @kinnbig from this set

Because when everything gets brought to light? Hoooooo BOY.

This man kept his foster sister in isolation under lock and key for years after he killed her husband and took her away from her two little boys. Then he left those little boys in the care of a degenerate gambler and watched them sink further and further into debt. And that's only the thin end of the wedge! If we got into all the ways he fucked up his OWN boys, we'd be here all damn day.

Kidnapping on perhaps more than one occasion, a hit squad, Kim's entire personality, Kinn's emotional range, need I go on?

But getting back to Porsche and Chay, Korn could've helped them at literally any point but he didn't lift a finger until they grew up and became useful to him. He could've cleared their debts, paid for Chay's education, provided for them, kept them from getting remotely close to a situation were men were beating them and trashing their home. But he did exactly none of that because whatever sense of obligation Korn might have felt toward them absolutely pales in comparison to his need for control.

♡ gif by @kinnbig from this set

That's what this all comes down to: control. The world is a chessboard and everyone in Korn's orbit is a piece on it. He proposed an outcome for himself and he got it.

He made sure Kinn was cemented as head of the main family and found a way to cement Porsche as head of the minor family. He got rid of Gun and the threat he presented and succeeded in burying the truth of what happened to Porsche's parents with him, because the truth that Korn gave simply is not the whole truth. It never will be because divulging the truth means giving up control, and that is something he will never do.

I could literally talk for hours about Korn. He's a fascinating character. He's got so many layers. Bottom line?

Este señor es el mismísimo diablo. This man is the living breathing devil.

[flipphone01st]

PLEASE write the mafia 141 idea you posted🥺I'm in love with the idea so much already!!!

Mafia 141/Bartender reader- Part one

Johnny🧼

Mostly Johnny/reader in this fic, because ive decided to split this up into different parts that will focus on different characters Like part 2 could focus of Gaz/reader.

Warning: not proof read, bad joke, swearing, alcohol and smoking, Johnny is a lil shit, and pushy, poorly written accents, (if I forgot anything that could have a warning let me know )

this is literally my first time actually writing a full fic so it's probably mediocre, FEEDBACK AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS GREATLY APPRECIATED. Other then that I hope you enjoy :)

Stupid uncle, stupid debt, stupid bar. You hated this, but you suppose its your own fault. If only you had just closed the door when your uncle showed up at your door begging for help because he had gained massive debt to one of the most infamous crime bosses in the city... Johnathan Price...if only you had just said no and didn't drive your ass down to Price's club and demand to speak with him, didn't try and bargain for your uncle...maybe then you wouldn't be forced to work for the bastard...

Two hours...thats how much longer you'd have to spend standing behind this bar. You swear to god, if other drunk yells at you you'll shove a jigger down their throat, and your 'coworkers', if you could even call them that, weren't making your life easier. If anything they were hellbent on making it worse. "Yer lookin' a bit peely wally." Johnny chuckles while cleaning a margarita glass, it was just him today, said Kyle was off doing something for Price, you didn't want to ask what.

You glance up at him, eyes narrowing in confusion and slight annoyance "..huh?"

"Means you look like shite." He clarifies.

You sigh and stand up, nudging an empty box away with your foot "thanks... asshole." You grumble. He chuckles and raises his hands in mock surrender, "Awe come on, I'm just funnin' with ya. You look fine, a wee bit red in the face, but that's it." He grins, you didn't hate him, he could actually be quite hilarious sometimes... sometimes...You roll your eyes. He laughs and takes out a cigarette, lighting it up. "Ya want one?" He offers.

"no...I thought price didn't like us smoking around the drinks.."

"Aye, he doesn't." He shrugs, taking a drag of his cigarette. "but what ol Pricey doesn't know won't kill em."

"mm.." your nose scrunches in disgust at the smell. you take a small step away, not wanting the smoke to settle on your clothes. He blows smoke out the side of his mouth, away from you "yer no fun ya know that?" You scoff, "pft..I can be fun.", while crossing your arms, and leaning back against the bar with your lips shaped into a slightly grumpy pout. "Oh?" He chuckles again, leaning back against the bar himself "can ya? Let's see, tell me a joke."

you think long and hard "uuuuuuuuuuuh..ok I got one. What do you call a fake noodle?" Johnny squints his eyes "...what?"

"....an impasta..."

"..."

"..." You're both silent, completely silent.... just staring at each other...

"..." Johnny sighs "that joke was dogshite."

Your shoulders slump forward in defeat "I know." He chuckles, "Well at least yer aware." before taking another drag of his cigarette. before looking at you with the most smug grin you've ever seen "but that also just proved my point...yer no fun, pipsqueak."

"Pipsqueak?" You raise an eyebrow as your eyes narrow

"Yeah, you heard me. Yer a wee'un." He teased, god you wanted to whip that stupid grin off his equally stupid face. "you're not even that much taller than me."

"I'm seven inches taller than you." He points out.

"...nuh uh.."

"Fuck ya mean, nuh uh?" His eyebrows furrowed as he tries not to laugh, on the other hand, your brows furrow in annoyance. "I mean, nuh uh."

Johnny chuckles, and places his hand on top of your head. He then leans down, the tip of his nose almost brushing yours "dena it alllll ya want..." His eyes were locked with yours, the faint smell of cigarette smoke almost making you recoil in disgust. he leans even closer, you try and lean back but you're stopped by the bar. "...yer still a pipsqueak!" then ruffles your hair aggressively.

You slap his hand away, glaring at him while fixing your hair. "Jerk! Don't do that again." you grumble, and to make matters even worse, you feel your cheeks heat up a bit. "Awe, someone's all hot and flustered now." He smirks, giving you a small jab with his elbow "c'mon now, I was just joking around, relax."

You groan softly and roll your eyes, pushing him away and walking to the other side of the bar, trying to find anything that you could use to ignore him. Johnny grins, quickly putting out his cigarette and following after you "see! that's exactly what I'm talking about. Such a grump...don't tell me yer so boring that ya don't even like a bit of harmless flirting?"

"go away, Johnny." You don't look up from the drink you were pouring for a costumer "Aww, c'mon. I'm just tryna lift yer spirits." He wraps his arm around your shoulder "you like me don't ya?" He grins, not expecting a positive answer.

Your eyes widen and you move out from under his arm "no." Was your immediate response, your voice stern. Johnny grins wider and moves to stand right in front of you, leaning right up and practically invading your personal space. "Don't lie to me now. I bet ya daydream about me, don't ya? About all of us? Me and the lads, hm?"

Your face goes red "what?" He grins, almost deviously "you think I haven't noticed the way ya seem to float off into lala land while staring at me or Kyle work? When Simon's gotta rough up some jackass? Or even when price is literally just in the room with ya? Don't try to dena it, pipsqueak...just can't keep us all out of yer fantasies eh?" His hands slide their way onto your hips, he didn't seem to care about the bar patrons laughing and ooing, some even getting annoyed that the two bartenders were flirting with each other instead of enabling their alcohol addiction.

Your brain felt like it was short circuiting, it had become uncomfortably warm. If you were a truther..you'd admit that despite hating these four men...they were kinda hot. But you're a god damn liar and you'll be one till the day you die! "i-i!..no..no way!.. you're crazy! There's no way in hell id ever like any of you like...that.."

"Mm...sure... I'm definitely crazy." He leans even closer, his voice a whisper as he presses his body into you, the two of you basically chest to chest "...crazy about you." He leans down to try and steal a kiss, you're eyes widen comically large but thankfully before you could even react the gruff voice of Simon makes Johnny freeze just before his lips could graze yours "That's enough, you two 'er supposed to be workin, not swapping spit." He glares at Johnny, you didn't notice it but there was a slight hint of jealousy in his dark eyes... you didn't notice, but Johnny sure as hell did.

Johnny quickly backs up from you, and then looks at Simon with a smug grin on his face "Jeez... Yer no fun either, Si. We were just messin' around." Simon stares him down, not breaking eye contact with Johnny for a good two minutes, until finally letting out a deep sigh "just keep it outside of work..." then glances at you, "Price said you're free to go for today.."

You nod "uh..thank you." You awkwardly stutter, still trying to process what just happened and understand how it made you feel... were you embarrassed? Very. Were you necessarily uncomfortable?... strangely enough...no, you weren't uncomfortable. Simon nods then walks off into his little office behind the bar, Johnny watches him go, then his gaze wanders back over to you "Sooo, ya gonna head off then?"

"yeah.." you answer, somewhat shyly. Johnny nods, a quick look of disappointment on his face before he masks it with a smile "alright, then...have a good night, pipsqueak." He shrugs playfully, and begins walking off to serve a poor bastard that had been trying to order a drink for the past five minutes. ".. you too, Johnny.." you mutter while walking out from behind the bar to towards the break room to get your stuff and finally leave....what a weird ass day...

END OF PART ONE. Please let me know what you thought

[iridescentdove]

I need a BSD x Reader where it’s just the reader casually rizzing up everyone like no one is safe from the reader’s infinite rizz, not the ADA, not the PM, not the DOA, not the guild, and definitely not the Hunting Dogs, not even civilians; it’s literally everyone that is getting rizzed up, while the reader is aware and laughs and points at every clown they rizzed up.

THE ULTIMATE RIZZLORD.

various!BSD x reader

A/N: anon, I would like to point out how much I love you and this request right now. also, I put the reader in the port mafia for fun because why not.

Absolutely speechless.

This is how everyone felt – well, whether whoever it may be, there was just one thing all could collectively agree on. They may all be feared and powerful factions that anyone could basically kneel down to, however ...

Who THE FUCK is this audacious person?

MORI was the first to witness your ass flirt with every single person you saw. But no, did you even care? Not at all. He stares, bewildered and mildly in concern as you came up to every single person you saw – completely distracted from the mission at hand as you asked women to step on you, choke you ...

He wants you throw you back from where you came from.

Oh wait, nevermind. You were now flirting with HIM. MORI is in even more shock at your confidence. Damn, pretty bold of you. But he actually thought you kinda hot fr. Elise still #1 bae tho

And somehow, you were taken up to being an executive. Everyone is morbid and utterly terrified.

How the fuck is someone like you an EXECUTIVE?? HELLO??

CHUUYA turns as red as his hair could ever be. Look man, he just wanted to complain about Dazai and you here just ..

"That fucking idiot Dazai! I'll rip him apart!"

"Yes daddy- I mean, can you do that to me too?"

"... What?"

"Ooh~ those fingers are so slender and pretty .."

"Wh-"

"Mind if I ... caress them a little, babygorl?"

"(Y/N) WHAT-"

Aww, look at that, Chuuya is deader than Odasaku <3

But God forbid you be taken on important missions against another factiom because fuck man. All you're there for is 1% fighting, 99% rizzing.

Y'know when everything was in chaos in Yokohama bcz of the Guild trying to take over? Everyone's fighting their ass off, God knows where DAZAI is but no one cares, and you?? Uh yeah already guessed it.

Tryna rizz up the agency.

Like yes, they're in trouble, everyone is, we know but fuck war we want fictional men. And women.

"Are you lingo? Because we can make a good duo 😏" - you

"... Did you just make a duolingo pickup line" - kunikida

Man times when the port mafia and the agency are in a truce, you're there back and forth flirting nonstop. Everyone is red, turned on from your oh so amazing rizzler skills

DAZAI enjoys your company obviously. Both of you create so much chaos, but even sometimes you're so much worse than him. You're the only one who can actually surprise him. Like wtf bitch stop flirting with the damn secret police?? Uh??

You make suicidal jokes, whispering them so sexily in his ear he wanna take you to the bed right there mamasita lip bite

Oh, the Decay of Angels wanna achieve world domination? They can dominate sumn else if you know what I mean

No words can express how terrified u keep making everyone THAT'S FYODOR HE'LL KILL YOU WITH A TOUCH BITCH- oh wait nvm he's melting from all of your rizz and affection.

You are literally so sweet but so confusing. SIGMA sees you around the Sky Casino just chilling and flirting with everyone you see. He don't mind cause you hot anyway

The Guild kinda ... actually, no. They're not safe. FITZGERALD? More like Rizzgerald cause this bitch 'bout to get rizzed so hard he turns poor

Yeah .. I don't take it to heart.

You'll just be up in their ass even after the Yokohama incident. Literally all of them both love and hate you. "Should we throw her off a cliff or kiss her" "Idk the second option is kinda tempting tho" "Boss, what do we d-" "Both."

DAMN LOVECRAFT AND BRAM TOO?? BITCH STOP 😭

No one can escape from your rizz. Okay one time you got kidnapped by the fuckin Hunting Dogs but you just?? Started to rizz up and call JOUNO ur bbygorl?? He is seconds from slicing your head off but he gave up at this point.

Where you got that rose from 🤨

Why the fuck is romantic music playing 😐

You asked FUKUCHI himself to choke you and slam you against the wall. Not even an ounce of regret of fear.

Everyone officially is scared of you.

ANGO isn't free from this either, bitch. You'll strut into the room all happy to talk for a mission and all but ... uhh. "So you're from the Special Division? I can't blame you then ... I feel as if I have something special going on for you."

ANGO, internally: iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp-

Sadly, he is now a simp.

The fact his face turns so red is not unnoticed by you. You laugh, clowning everyone you literally rizzed up no joke. They're so in love with ur pretty/handsome/hot ass 😔

No one is free. If you find a pretty bird, ask it's hand for marriage. There is no other way but that.

Mk but the way you literally hit on AKUTAGAWA do be funny. Bitch is so oblivious, he just thinks you're another certain blonde hair slaying bitch 😳

By the time he actually knows you're rizzing him up by being more direct about your advances, he is questioning life.

But bcz you're SOO close to DAZAI maybeee we can ...

Work sumn out, you know? heh

One day the mafia just be chilling and BOOM heree comes the wh00000re~ hello wh000re~ welcome~ 😍

(i am so sorry if this offends someone it's a meme-)

Cue everyone sighing as you come in and start your daily routine which is rizzing. You'll be caressing KOUYOU's cheek, talking to CHUUYA with that sexy ass deep voice, whispering in MORI's ear, and everytime you breathe the vine boom sound effect comes off.

Can't say they don't like it though. We all know we have some horny deviants lovestruck little cuties <3 but let's just say it's hard being here with those hoes 😔✌️

Yet most especially,

You.

*bites lip* (i am sorry.)

[lotus-pear]

Can we stop acting like dazai was the devil. Like yes he did bad things but he was a child. He was 15 alone and in the mafia where althe was told to do was bad things. ALL dazai knew how to do is lie and deceive because it what he's always had to do.it's self preservation. Like??? When will people realize dazai wasn't a monster and was justa child brought up in an Unsafe and abusive environment. Behaviors are learned your aren't born with them. Dazai was a suicidal child just trying to survive all'he knew was manipulation and Iying because that's all he was taught. He abused akutagawa because that's all he was taught. And as he got older it's all he knows how to do. Obviously he's gotten better but he's still morally grey. And that's ok but it's not enough to call him a monster. hes trying so so hard to change, and even if he may not realise it or cling guiltily to his past, the entire prison arc shows how much effort hes put in to become a better person it isnt easy, growing up exposed to death/violence resulting in empathy and apathy issues, all while battling an emptiness inside thats slowly eating up ones will to live. hes genuinely trying to recover from that period of his life, and i cannot express how proud i am solely because of that. hes finally found a healthy environment, a family, and he deserves it along with so much more. he may be deemed as a “monster“ in the past, that cannot be erased, but he hates that part about himself too. being in the good or bad used to make no difference to him, but i strongly believe it does hate that part of him.  Dazai slander are fún and everything - BUT people seem to not get his character right. No, he's not an edgy boy. He genuinely wants to change for the best to make Oda proud, 'BUT HE ABUSED AKUTAGAWA’ , yeah, Akutagawa abused Kyoka and nobody is talking about how its litterally GENERATIONAL TRAUMA. Dazal was never raised correctly, he got raised by Mori and used by him to make him his right hand, maybe because of his ability, or he saw potential in him. He never fell parental Love nor being special to Someone except for Oda. "He LEFT Chuuya!!!“ ok and? Chuuya doesn't need him to live: Dazai LITTERALLY SAW PEOPLE GETTING KILLED/KILLING THEM ON THE DAILEY (AND HE WITNISSED ODAS DEATH - THE ONLY PERSON THAT MADE HIM WANT TO CHANGE.) his eyes at the age of 14, and Mori made him live in a shipping container. Obviously he is not gonna feel human after all this.

And about him and chuuya - the thing is they DO CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER. but nobody seems to care about chuuya other than the fact hes hot asf anf the fact that he is ’super mega gay for dazai 🥺🥺🥺’ because are we reading/watching the same series???? There’s SO MUCH to his character too!!!! But all everyone talks about with him is with dazai, chuuyas character is CRAZY WELL WRITTEN and everyone dumbs it down to ‘he’s an angry short boy with a god inside him and he’s mega gay for dazai and he’s also really hot’ like no - stfu he’s not actually super hot headed and it’s CANNON he’s usually pretty calm and collected. On the other side of the coin is that dazai DOES care about him - in Stormbringer ; Dazai literally willing gave Chuuya an option to either use corruption on Verlaine when he used his true form or to retreat and not do it, which gave a sense of Dazai giving Chuuya the choice to do what he wants without forcing him to, and the fact that when Chuuya used corruption, he was being injured badly to the point where Abahabaki was going to destroy Chuuya which FREAKED DAZAI OUT , and the fact that Dazai certainly believes that Chuuya is human shows that Dazai does care about Chuuya in certain ways without showing due to afraid of losing someone he cares about. and In age 15 Dazai, was willing to help Chuuya to find Abahabaki and defeat Rimbaud, along with stormbringer with him helping Chuuya to find out if he's human or not and to defeat Verlaine.

Ty for reading my rant 💞💞💞💞

i can't tell if this is attacking me or just a rant in general but anyway YESSSSS I 100% AGREE YOU ATE W THAT ANALYSIS BRIAR‼️‼️