#than show up when they are a sack of meat in a coffin

[a3711]

I’ve experienced a lot of loss. And this is unbelievably true. Every tiny thing you leave behind will be loved.

I have bottles of wine from my friend who made it and they are the prize of my collection. I can’t drink alcohol. Regardless, those bottles are loved. And when I’m done cooking with them? You bet your ass they will be lovingly stored as vases for flowers.

I have a scrap of fabric from a jam jar, that I painstakingly sewed the edges on so that it wouldn’t unravel.

I have a keychain featuring a sports team for a sport I don’t even watch.

I have minerals with no monetary value that sit in a position of honour on my shelves, that I dust every week. I hate dusting with a bloody passion, but those rocks will stay clean until the day I die.

I have a coin and empty bullet casing that was found in a small bag that I was left. They live in my fireproof safe. That coin is worth a grand total of a dollar, and I wouldn’t part with it for anything.

I have pocket knives with chipped edges that will never stay sharp enough to be used, but are lovingly polished and oiled anyway.

I have tools that my disabled hands can’t wield, but are stored in a waterproof box.

I have a scrap of paper with handwriting on it, that I will protect with my life.

Collect things with abandon.

It doesn’t matter how strange or insignificant they seem. They will be deeply valued, because YOU are deeply valued and any connection that can be held onto is priceless.

i want ten million trinkets but i also want my death to not be a burden for those I leave behind

[reve-de-sang]

for @vamptember -- the Sept. 5 prompt "meet cute," with a soupçon of a second prompt, "Romeo and Juliet."

louis discovers an embarrassing new problem.

lestat discovers a young human man with a most disagreeable disposition waiting for him for breakfast.

gabrielle does not discover her son is a boy-crazy lunatic: she already knew that.

--

Given the power in his blood, Lestat always rose earlier than most. Right now the sky was still a searing pink in the west with one of those gorgeous pollution-enhanced sunsets.

He headed down to the basement. When they were in cities, lately basements were where Gabrielle seemed to feel most comfortable sleeping away the day free of a coffin. She liked to sack out on a sofa while the television murmured the dialogue of TV shows a streaming service would cycle through in an endless “recommended next!” chain.

There was a knocked-out teenage girl blocking Lestat’s way at the foot of the stairs. She looked like she had been thrown.

A soft gasping drew his attention to the sofa.

Gabrielle was still in her daytime sleep, and she had one clawed hand locked around the throat of a man who was awkwardly half crouched by her side. He obviously couldn’t get free, and Lestat suspected he was trying not to trigger Gabrielle into unconsciously finishing the job of crushing his throat. His breathing was careful and labored. He was looking a little blue around the edges, though.

Lestat eyed the bag at the man’s feet; wooden stakes spilled out of it.

“It’s an automatic response,” Lestat drawled as he stepped over the girl and sauntered over. “We may be asleep, but we’re not defenseless. Are you new?”

The man tried to appraise him from the corner of his eye without turning his head. “Yeah,” he whispered.

Lestat stopped in front of him, and kicked away the bag and its stakes. They clattered against the far wall like bowling pins.

Lestat rested a knuckle under the man’s chin and studied him. “You are too handsome to be this stupid.”

That got an ugly expression. Lestat laughed in delight. 

“Well. Pray to your god that this works?” Lestat smirked. He gently took Gabrielle’s wrist in his hand. She was like marble. Still, he pressed his thumb carefully into the meat of her palm. “Gabrielle. Gabrielle, let go. It’s fine now. I will take care of this.” After a moment more of soft words and firm massage, her unconscious fingers relaxed infinitesimally enough for the man to pop loose and scurry away, sucking in greedy gulps of air.

“You gon kill us now?” the man rasped, falling to the ground.

“Your name?”

That got Lestat narrowed eyes.

“Oh please. You attempted to murder my companion. I feel like we’re on a first-name basis now.”

“Louis.”

“Louis!” Lestat beamed. “Beautiful. It suits you. I am Lestat--Lestat de Lioncourt--which you may already know?”

Louis shook his head, rubbing his throat.

“Oh dear.” He sighed and crossed to perch on the arm of a recliner. “Though perhaps it’s best my reputation does not precede me.”

“…We’re outta New Orleans. Never encountered something like this before,” he said defensively. His eyes slid back to Gabrielle.

“Am I to understand you have run out of vampires to kill in New Orleans and made the trek to Shreveport to carry on the work.”

Louis started to speak, thought better of it, and gave a grudging nod. 

“Well then, I must thank you. New Orleans is where I am headed,” Lestat declared. “And other vampires tend to be tiresome.”

“Although,” Lestat added, shifting to make himself comfortable by curling up in the chair itself, “I admit it will be very lonely. My companion and I were parting ways tonight. I’m determined to make ‘The Big Easy,’ as they say, my home. But she hates the idea of a place without basements.”

“How sad.”

“Ouias hein, t’as vu,” Lestat huffed. Yeah, you get it.

The girl by the stairs groaned. 

“Did you want to be breakfast, my beautiful Louis? This,” Lestat gestured at the debacle, “wasn’t particularly well thought out. Should I be concerned you have a death wish?” He thoughtfully dragged the pad of his thumb over the point of one long incisor.

“No. Just, uh. Stupid. Apparently." Louis cleared his throat. “How about you just let us get out of your hair. Pretend this never happened.” He gave a wry smile. 

“What is it Westley says in The Princess Bride? ‘I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself’? Though in our case, you are more like the beautiful Buttercup.”

Louis looked offended on several different levels, but was obviously trying not to escalate the situation. 

“Thanks. Admit I always pictured myself as more of a Westley if we’re picking roles.”

“Oh, I would be your Buttercup anytime, Louis.”

Louis furrowed his brow. “Well you got that hair going for you.”

“Perhaps next time? I hope you won’t abandon the profession, Louis. You should definitely hunt me in New Orleans. I could give you some tips when next we meet.”

“I know I have the disadvantage here, but. Anyone ever ask you what’s wrong with your head?”

“I am perhaps foolish around pretty men,” Lestat reflected, his eyes lingering on Louis's bare forearms.

Gabrielle snapped awake just then, and gained her feet in a swing of blonde hair; Louis wasn’t near her anymore, but he still lunged back a couple yards. She started to advance on Louis, but paused at the sight of Lestat.

“Don’t worry about him, love. This is my new friend, Louis. And his little assistant…” he narrowed his eyes at Louis, seemingly deep in thought, “…Claudia.”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “I’m going to go take care of this,” she said, grabbing her fall of hair in one hand and shaking it hatefully. “Start the fire on your way out.”

“Yes, yes,” Lestat sighed, watching her go. He smiled at Louis. “The previous occupants are starting to stink up the place.”

“Wow.”

“I want to live in the French Quarter,” Lestat said, standing. “Perhaps I can convince someone to sell. You must visit me!”

“Kinda feel like I need to study up, first.”

“Study quickly, Louis.” Lestat glanced over at Claudia’s body. “She’s not exactly bouncing back. Do you think she needs some healing blood? I don’t suppose you’d like to make a pact, let me tempt you into being my immortal companion?” Lestat purred, swaying a little closer. “I would throw your friend in as a gift, possibly save her life.”

“Pass.”

Lestat smiled. “Well. You know where to find me, my Louis.”

He backed toward the stairs, eyes covetously on Louis, stepping over Claudia without a thought. “The fire will begin in the second floor bedrooms. You might have about ten minutes. Louis, do you want my number?”

Louis cautiously got to his feet. “Oh, no. Why ruin the mystery.”

Lestat grinned. “Quite right. Until we meet again!”

He took the stairs three at a time as he listened to Louis rush to Claudia’s side, and her fuzzy responses to his worried questions.

Lestat could be in New Orleans before dawn.

[magnusmysteries]

Part 15: The Conspiracy of the Unknowing

The Magnus Archives was a horror podcast. It is now completed. Many of the show’s mysteries were never explained on the show. I intend to explain them. Spoilers for the show, but also spoilers if you wanna solve these mysteries yourself.

Quote from Gerard talking about the rituals “They… kind of ‘shift’ the world, just enough for the Power to come through. Merge with reality. Some say, or well, they guess, that it could bring other entities through with them. I mean, I doubt The Buried would be bringing through The Vast, but you know.

So Gerard thinks the Buried and the Vast are too different for one to bring through the other. He is wrong, The Eye managed to bring through its opposite. He is also wrong in thinking that the Buried and the Vast is far apart. (see Part 3.)

But there is an idea here that a fear can bring through nearby fears with its ritual. I think Nikola believed this also. I think she was trying to bring through several fears with the Unknowing. And she only tried to bring through fears that were close to the Stranger on the wheel.

Why was she trying to help other fears? Well, the previous attempt at the Unknowing was stopped by the Slaughter. The more fears she’d bring through, the fewer fears would try to stop her. How could she bring other fears through? I think if they help create the music during the Unknowing, they’d be brought through.

In Tightrope we see the calliope is played when one clown is beating another. Music inspiring violence is very Slaughter, and the calliope is of that fear.

Now some might object that in Strange Music, the calliope made a creepy doll come alive. Seems very Stranger. But in Heavy Goods, we learn that pieces of Nikola were fed to the organist. I think this made the organist’s calliope in a dual Stranger-Slaughter artifact. And the creepy doll is indeed violent.

The Coffin from the Buried was present at the Unknowing. And it just so happens, the coffin can sing.

In We All Ignore the Pit Nikola says “I don’t even have a voice box. I had to borrow this one.” In Breathing Room, an avatar of the End kills victims and shreds their vocal cords. I think he was harvesting voice boxes and giving them to Nikola’s mannequins to sing with during the unknowing.

In The Masquerade Jonathan sees some skinless people that he thinks will be part of the chorus. He thinks they are the leftovers from the Anglerfish's’ victims. I think he is wrong. Was he right it would mean one could make two avatars out of one victim, one avatar from the skin and one avatar from the meat. (Consider Sarah Baldwin claims to have some of the memories of the original Sarah, in Return to Sender.) I think these are creatures of the Flesh.

In Flesh Jared says that “others of skin and hunger” had talked with him and tried to persuade him to participate in rituals. He refused, but says some of the ones he had changed went instead. I think Jared was invited to two rituals. Those of hunger were from the Flesh. Those of skin were from the Stranger. So one or more of Jared’s companions was probably at the Unknowing. In part 3 I say why I think Jared is both Flesh and Spiral.

So that’s Slaughter, End, Flesh, Spiral, Buried. If you ignore the theoretical sixteenth fear, which Nikola may not have known about, that are five of the six closest fears to the Stranger. Would be neat if the Lonely was involved too, but I see no evidence of that. Let me know if you do!

Nikola collaborated with many powers when she ran the circus. Maybe getting them to trust her so they’d cooperate during the ritual. In Tightrope we have the violent clowns (Slaughter), the child being put in a sack (Buried), the child walking the tightrope (Vast) and the freak show (Flesh or Flesh/Spiral). In Strange Music there is a photograph with a fire-eater (Desolation) and a Contortionist (could be Flesh of Flesh/Spiral if it focuses on having a weird body. Could be Buried if it focuses on getting into tight places).

There is another reason to think the Spiral was involved with the Unknowing. In Another Twist Nikola is planning to kill John, take his skin and use it during the Unknowing. Michael hates John. He has only kept John alive because John might stop the Unknowing. But now it looks like John might unwillingly help the Unknowing instead. So Michael intends to kill John. Then Michael dies and is replaced with Helen. Then Helen saves John.

Why did Michael die? Michael is evil, but not entirely so. Not evil enough to want a ritual to succeed. But part of the Distortion, the part that isn’t Michael, do want the Unknowing to succeed. That part can kill Michael, but that is not ideal. If Michael dies, Helen becomes the Distortion. And Helen is nicer than Michael (initially) and therefore harder to use for evil.

But now Michael is about to kill John and therefore ruin the Unknowing. The non-human part of the Distortion is desperate and kills Michael. Helen becomes the Distortion.

Later Helen becomes even more evil than Michael. In Checking Out she wants the world to stay a nightmare. But in Another Twist, we can tell that isn’t yet true, because then she would have handed John back to Nikola.

In Taking Stock Helen tries to be friends with John. She seems sad and it is implied she is feeling guilty about killing. John rejects her. This is a turning point for Helen. The next episode she shows up in is Flesh. She is much more cheerful, and remains so for most of the series. I think she is no longer capable of feeling guilt. In a Gravedigger’s Envy she says she chooses to not feel guilty.

In Flesh Helen says: “You are very welcome. I have decided that I support what you’re doing, and I’m happy to assist. I think we’ll all be much happier this way.”

What she means is she will help John in performing the Eye’s ritual. Helen thinks she, and John and Melanie (who was also there) would be happy as avatars in the changed world.

[thecringefailintherye]

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man 

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam 

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING 

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised 

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 

this film.. 

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

[squidproquoclarice]

Yeehawgust Day 20: Ropework

July 1899: Clemens Point, Lemoyne

The  business of feeding close to two dozen people, most of them hardworking adult men, was nothing special to Simon Pearson.  The Navy, and merchant sailing, both prepared a cook handily for that, and more.  He’d fed close to a hundred men working their asses off on the old Calliope, and making palatable food towards the end of a long voyage around the horn to Japan delayed two weeks by colossal storms in the Roaring Forties had stretched his ingenuity to its limit.  They’d been down to weevily hardtack and grey and slimy salt pork, the last bits of flour and oil.  The day he’d used the very last of the sugar hidden away to sweeten the porridge, knowing they needed something, he’d sworn he’d seen grown men about to cry from both pleasure and realizing this was the last of it. 

He’d kept them fed, but it had been nothing pretty, and neither had the mood.  A good cook always watched the mood the way a rated seaman watched winds, looking for both direction and intensity.  The mood with the gang had turned, and for the better, now that they’d been here for a week.  They’d settled down here after being chased off from Horseshoe Overlook.  At least he’d had enough time to pack the whole chuck wagon.  And they had regular access to fresh food, both from shops and from the hunters who had stepped it up.  Including his former assistant. 

Though at least sailing meant a set Goddamn watch schedule, and that meant meals were reliable as anything for both sailors and the cook.  None of this stuff with men riding in whenever they damn well pleased, and being pissed off that food wasn’t right there the moment they wanted it, and coming to twist Pearson’s ear about it.  He was no mindreader.  The best he could do was keep a stew kettle going most of the day so that those who weren’t there during regular meal times could help themselves to a plate.

It had become something of a running joke that Arthur in particular probably assumed all Pearson could manage anymore was stew, given the man was rarely in camp, always out scouting, hunting, looking for jobs.  Pearson had slipped some sweets and biscuits into the mess of Arthur’s saddlebag here and there, knowing he’d need it.

But they’d settled in, and that meant there was free time here and there.  Right now, the stew was on, the dishes were washed, and he wouldn’t start dinner--elk steaks, Charles had brought in a fine one, and it would be nice to have a beautifully roasted cut of meat--for a few hours.  He could be working on that table cover he’d promised Dutch, and he would get to it, but right now, young Jack had his attention.

Wrapping the hemp rope around his fingers, turning it, weaving it in and out, he carefully demonstrated, and then pulled the knot tight at the end, turning it into a round, tight ball.  “There, you see?  A perfect monkey’s fist.”

“I don’t think I got it,” Jack said forlornly, the rope woven between his fingers in a cat’s cradle mess.

He hadn’t expected Jack to follow along.  “It’s a hard one,” he said, “so we’ll just play with it for fun.”  He handed over the scrap of rope with the monkey’s fist on the end.  “Here.  You keep this one.”

Jack looked at him hopefully.  “It’s pretty, but can you teach me to tie my boots?  I tripped and falled down again.”

Probably part of why Jack walked around barefoot half the time, not to mention the cost of new boots meaning it was smarter to not wear them as long as possible, and a hot summer led to that.  Though being in snake country like this meant it would be smarter for him to wear them again.  You ought to have your daddy for teaching you that, he thought, glancing towards John, busy fixing a wagon wheel with Charles.  The man never seemed to know exactly where his mind was when it came to the kid, though Arthur sure as shit wouldn’t let John forget it either.

How old had he been when he’d learned to tie his boot laces?  He couldn’t remember.  Older than four, he was pretty sure.  But Jack was having to grow up too fast in many ways.  “Sure, kid,” he said, kneeling and slipping off one of his own boots forward to demonstrate.  “We’ll see what we can do.”

Carefully showing the steps, Jack clumsily tried it, tiny fingers growing more steady with each attempt.  He’d learn the dexterity of it soon enough.  “Just keep practicing,” Pearson said.  “Give it a few days, I bet you’ll get it.”

Jack’s face brightened.

“Jack!” There it was, Abigail calling for her boy again.

“You’d better go.  Don’t want your ma upset.”  He winked at Jack.

Jack grinned at him and jumped up, tucking the monkey’s fist in his hand. “Bye, Uncle Pearson!” 

He smiled, getting to his feet, watching Jack run off towards Abigail, ready to show off his new prize.  Better to think about bow knots and monkey’s fists for a little boy’s delight, bowlines and hitches for raising the tents and securing the supplies, nail and arbor knots for fishing lines.  Knots for fun, knots for practicality.  

After all, there was another knot lurking around the Van Der Lindes that he preferred to deliberately not think about, namely the sort that came with thirteen turns, a black sack over a man’s head, and a pine coffin.  Knots had all sorts of uses, and killing was one of them.

[themuseandantarctica]

lyrics from modest mouse’s album good news for people who love bad news BOLD all that apply to your muse (repost, don’t reblog.)

THE WORLD AT LARGE.  ice age heat wave, can’t complain / if the world’s at large, why should i remain? / walked away to another plan / gonna find a new place, maybe one i can stand / i move on to another day / to a whole new town with a whole new way / went to the porch to have a thought / got to the door, and again, i couldn’t stop / you don’t know where and you don’t know when / but you’ve still got your words / and you’ve got your friends / walk along to another day / work a little harder, work another way / well, uh-huh, baby, i ain’t got no plan / gonna float on maybe, would you understand? / the days get shorter and the nights get cold / i like the autumn but this place is getting old / i pack my belongings and i head to the coast / it might not be a lot, but i feel like i’m making the most / the nights get longer and the days smell green / i guess it’s not surprising but it’s spring and i should leave / i like songs about drifters, books about the same, they both make me feel a little less insane / walked on off to another spot / i still haven’t gotten anywhere that i want / did i want love? / did i need to know? / why does it always feel like i’m caught in an undertow? / the moths beat themselves to death against the lights, adding their breeze to the summer nights / outside, water, like air, was gray / i didn’t know what i had that day / walked a little farther to another plan / you said that you did, but you didn’t understand / i know that starting over’s not what life’s about / but my thoughts were so loud i couldn’t hear my mouth

FLOAT ON.  i backed my car into a cop car the other day / well, he just drove off, sometimes life’s okay / i ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh, what did i say? / well, you just laughed it off, it was all okay / we’ll all float on anyway / a fake jamaican took every last dime with that scam / it was worth it just to learn some sleight of hand / bad news comes, don’t you worry even when it lands / good news will work its way to all them plans / we both got fired on exactly the same day / well, we’ll float on, good news is on the way / bring it on, here we are, win or lose / even if things get heavy, we’ll all float on

OCEAN BREATHES SALTY.  your body may be gone / i’m gonna carry you in my head, in my heart, in my soul / and maybe we’ll get lucky and we’ll both live again / well, i don’t know, don’t think so / well, that is that and this is this / you tell me what you want and i’ll tell you what you get / you get away from me / collect my belongings and i left the jail / well, thanks for the time, i needed to think a spell / the ocean breathes salty / won’t you carry it in your head, in your heart, in your soul? / well, maybe we’ll get lucky and we’ll both grow old / well, i don’t know, i hope so / will you tell me what you saw? / i’ll tell you what you missed / when the ocean met the sky / you missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye / when the earth folded in on itself and said “good luck” / for your sake, i hope heaven and hell are really there, but i wouldn’t hold my breath / you wasted life, why wouldn’t you waste death? / the more we move ahead, the more we’re stuck on rewind / well, i don’t mind, how the hell could i mind?

BURY ME WITH IT.  we were shooting at a mountain of dirt / well, nothing was broken, nothing was hurt / but i probably really should have been at work / but if my free time’s gone, would you promise me this? / please bury me with it / well, as sure as planets come, i know that they end / and if i’m here when that happens, you promise me this, my friend / i don’t need none of that mad max bullshit / well, the suit got tight and it split at the seams / but i kept it out of habit and i kept it real clean / it’s getting faded and it’s running out of thread / we moved to the left and we moved to the right / and sure as hell we stayed out almost every single night / if the party’s over, if the fun has to end / good news for people who love bad news / we’ve lost the plot and we just can’t choose / we are hummingbirds who are just not willing to move / we were aiming for the moon, we were shooting at the stars / but the kids were just shooting at the busses and the cars / so don’t drink the water, don’t you breathe the air / and if it’s gotten to that point, then i have to declare / well, fads they come and fads they go / and god, i love that rock ‘n’ roll / well, the point was fast but it was too blunt to miss / life handed us a paycheck / we said, “we worked harder than this!”

DANCE HALL.  i’m gonna dance all, dance hall every day / well, i’m giving myself another one / i have too much to say / i’m gonna angle for telepathy ‘cause i don’t know the words to say / well, i’m gonna act up but not in your fucking play / i’ll let you win the argument if things still go my way / well, i haven’t had enough and i said “i’ve had my fill” / the past doesn’t exist and i’m told it never will / i guess i’m stuck here like a plant on a windowsill / i gonna give myself a shot, i could get myself a pill / i’m gonna go and try to buy a little more time to kill / i need a can opener ‘cause i got some beans to spill / i’m gonna tell you what you want to hear anyways / well, somehow or another, i fell for every scam / but i was dancing on the tin roof, cat be damned / committing crimes, running down the alley / i’m the captain and you are in the galley

BUKOWSKI.  every night gets a little more bukowski / and yeah, i know he’s a pretty good read / but god, who’d wanna be such an asshole? / we sat on the edge of the river / the crowd screamed, “sacrifice the liver!” / if god takes life, he’s an indian giver / so tell me why, you’ll tell me never / who would wanna be such a control freak? / see what you wanna see / you should see it all / take what you want from me / you deserve it all / nine times out of ten, our hearts just get dissolved / i want a better place / or just a better way to fall / but one time out of ten, everything goes perfect for us all / if god controls the land and disease / and keeps a watchful eye on me / if he’s really so damn mighty / my problem is i can’t see who would wanna be such a control freak / evil home stereo, what good songs do you know? / evil me, oh yeah, i know, what good curves can you throw? / all that icing and all that cake / i can’t make it to your wedding / but i’m sure i’ll be at your wake / you were talking in circles that day / when you get to the point, make sure that i am still awake, okay?

THIS DEVIL'S WORKDAY.  all those people that you know floating in the river are logs / i could buy myself a reason / i could sell myself a job / i could hang myself on treason / all the folks i know are gone / so i ate the wedding cake 'til the whole damn thing was gone / and i'm gonna drown the ocean / now ain't none of that so wrong? / all those people that you know floating in the river are gone / gonna take this sack of puppies, gonna set it out to freeze / gonna climb around on all fours 'til all the blood falls out my knees / let's take this potted plant to the woods and set it free / i'm gonna tell the owners just how nice that was of me / oh, i am my own damn god

THE VIEW.  your gun went off / you shot off your mouth and look where it got you / my mouth runs off too / shouts from both sides / we've got the land / but they've got the view / well, now, here's the clue / life, it rents us / and yeah, i hope it put plenty on you / i hope mine did too / as life gets longer, awful feels softer / it feels pretty soft to me / and if it takes shit to make bliss / i feel pretty blissfully / we are fixed right where we stand / for every invention, how much time did we save? / we're not much farther than we were in the cave / if life's not beautiful without the pain / i'd rather never ever even see beauty again / for every good deed done, there is a crime committed / for every step ahead, we could have just been seated

SATIN IN A COFFIN.  you were laying on the carpet / like you're satin in a coffin / you said, "do you believe what you're saying?" / yeah, right now, but not that often / are you dead or are you sleeping? / god, i sure hope you are dead / you disappeared so often / like you dissolved into coffee / are you here right now? / or are there probably fossils under your meat? / now the blow's been softened since the air we breathe's our coffin / now the blow's been softened since the ocean is our coffin / often times you know our laughter is your coffin ever after / you know the blow's been softened since the world is our coffin / now the blow's been softened since we are our own damn coffins / everybody's talking about their short lists / everybody's talking about death

BLAME IT ON THE TETONS.  god, i need a scapegoat now / no, my dog won't bite you / though it had the right to / you oughta give her credit / 'cause she knows i would've let it happen / blame it on the weekends / god, i need a cola now / we mumble loudly / wear our shame so proudly / wore our blank expressions / trying to look interesting / blame it all on me / god, i need a cold one now / all them eager actors gladly take the credit / for lines created by people tucked away from sight / just a window from the room we're bound to / if you find a way out, would you just let me know how? / blame it on the web / but the spider’s your problem now / language is the liquid that we’re all dissolved in / great for solving problems / after it creates a problem / everyone’s a building burning / with no one to put the fire out / standing at the window looking out / waiting for time to burn us down / everyone’s an ocean drowning / with no one really to show how / they might get a little better air / if they turned themselves into a cloud

BLACK CADILLACS.  and it’s true we named our children after towns that we’d never been to / and it’s true that the clouds just hung around like black cadillacs outside a funeral / we were done with all the fucking around / you were so true to yourself / you were true to no one else / i should put you in the ground / i’ve got the time, i’ve got the hours, i’ve got the days, i’ve got the weeks / i’ve got the words but i can’t speak / i was done with all the circling ‘round / i didn’t die and i ain’t complaining / i ain’t blaming you / i didn’t know that the words you said to me meant more to me than they ever could you / i didn’t lie but i ain’t saying i told the whole truth / i didn’t know that this game we were playing even had a set of rules / we were laughing at the stars while our feet clung tight to the ground / so pleased with ourselves for using so many verbs and nouns / but we are still just dumber than the dirt on the ground / wings on flames, kings with no names / this place just ain’t got right air right now / you were so all over town / but still so crayola brown / you should run ‘round yourself right now

ONE CHANCE.  we have one chance to get everything right / and if we’re lucky, we might / my friends, my habits, my family, they mean so much to me / i just don’t think that it’s right / i’ve seen so many ships sail in / just go head back out again and go off sinking / i’m just a box in a cage / didn’t mean to laugh, didn’t know i had / didn’t know the better part of what you said / ‘cause in your head, you are not home / didn’t get the joke, didn’t mean to poke another / just to save myself from something or another / walk home

THE GOOD TIMES ARE KILLING ME.  who needs the good times? / the good times are killing me / got dirt, got air, got water / and i know you can carry on / shrugged off shortsighted false excitement / what can i say? / have one, have twenty-one “one mores” / it does not relent / kick butt, buzz cut dickheads who don’t like what i said / jaws clenched tight / we talked all night / but what the hell did we say? / fed up with all that LSD / need more sleep than coke or methamphetamines / late nights with warm, warm whiskey / enough hair of the dog to make myself an entire rug / shit-kicker city slickers who all want me dead / get sucked in and stuck in late nights / with more folks that i don’t know

[argentvive]

Daenerys Rejects Mass Slaughter

I’ve been working my way--ever so slowly--through A Dance with Dragons and have made it up to Daenerys IV.  I’ve been meaning to post about it for a while but it seems especially relevant now, after Episode 8.04.  Always assuming that D&D follow GRRM’s vision, of course.  

Dany is beset on all sides in Meereen.  She is repeatedly tempted to stray from her moral course, to choose the easy, expedient way.  In the process we learn more about her vision of what a ruler should be and do.  

Very early on I wrote about why I think Viserys and Illyrio were Dany’s first two alchemists:  https://argentvive.tumblr.com/post/167134718575/daenerys-mentors-who-is-the-alchemist

With her increasing experience of what it is to rule, Dany has started to develop her own ideas.  Viserys’ mission was to return to Westeros and reconquer the Iron Throne.  For four books, Dany took that mission as her own.  But in ADWD she CHOOSES to put herself in a different crucible, alchemically speaking.  She decides to delay returning to Westeros and to remain in Meereen until she can put things right.  Temporarily at least, she has become her own alchemist.

In Daenerys IV of ADWD, she has two conversations that show the development of Dany’s vision of rule.  The first is with the Green Grace priestess, Galazza Galare. First they speak about the nightly murders of the Sons of the Harpy.

“And yet Your Radiance has found the courage to answer butchery with mercy. You have not harmed any of the noble children you hold as hostage....The Shavepate would feed them to your dragons, it is said. A life for a life. For every Brazen Beast cut down, he would have a child die.”

Dany doesn’t respond but we are privy to her thoughts.

The Shavepate has a harder heart than mine....What good is peace if it must be purchased with the blood of little children?

So we have a little reminder that Dany is the Heart character. She tells Galazza:

“These murders are not their doing....I am no butcher queen.”

The priestess then suggests that Dany marry a local notable.  This is her reasoning:

“When my people look at you, they see a conqueror from across the seas, come to murder us and make slaves of our children.  A king could change that. A highborn king of pure Ghiscari blood could reconcile the city to your rule.”

Marrying  Hizdahr zo Loraq is not something Dany wants to do, but it doesn’t involve violence.  Daenerys is willing to sacrifice her happiness--and her body--if it might bring peace.  She briefly considers her other suitor, Skahaz, the Shavepate, whom she trusts more than Hizdahr.

...but the Shavepate would be a disaster as a king.  He was too quick to anger, too slow to forgive.  

So Daenerys proposes to Hizdahr and wants to know why he would accept:

“...Is it so strange that I would want to protect my own people, as you protect your freedmen? Meereen cannot endure another war, Your Radiance.”

Dany finds that “a good answer, and a honest one,” and in response, lays out her own governing principles:

“I have never wanted war. I defeated the Yunkai’i once and spared their city when I might have sacked it. I refused to join King Cleon when he marched against them. Even now, with Astapor besieged, I stay my hand. And Qarth . . . I have never done the Qartheen any harm . . .”

She is adamant about the abolition of slavery: “I would sooner perish fighting than return my children to bondage.”

She sets Hizdahr a quest: if he can secure 90 days of peace, without a murder, they will marry on the 91st.  

After Hizdahr leaves, Ser Barristan emerges from the shadows and she explains her reasoning to him.

“...My people are bleeding. Dying. A queen belongs not to herself, but to the realm. Marriage or carnage, those are my choices.”

Ser Barristan suggests a third option: go to Westeros.  That was Viserys’ goal--will Dany revert to that?  No.  She is making her own decisions now. She is beginning to become her own alchemist.  

She wanted Westeros as much as he did, but first she must heal Meereen.  

Before he leaves Selmy tells her that Daario is waiting below.  She is excited for their reunion and decides to get changed “to make myself beautiful.”

GRRM spends a lot of time describing clothing.  I’ve written up some examples where I believe the colors of clothing and jewellery have alchemical significance, e.g. “Sansa Is White.”  I suspect Dany’s choices here are meaningful too.

“Bring the grey linen gown with the pearls on the bodice. Oh, and my white lion’s pelt.”

Dany is Sulphur and Red.  Her House colors are Red and Black.  Those are her true colors.  In her marriage to Drogo she was forced into a false role--she was forced to be White.  Drogo called her “Moon of my life” and gave her a horse called “Silver.”  Here again she is trying to fit into a false role, this time with Daario.  That doesn’t bode well for their upcoming reunion.  

We get a pretty direct statement of how Daenerys has grown and matured into her role as queen:

The girl in her wanted to kiss him so much it hurt. His kisses would be hard and cruel, she told herself, and he would not care if I cried out or commanded him to stop. But the queen in her knew that would be folly.

That sounds like a pretty dysfunctional relationship to me, right off the bat.  And Daenerys finally realizes it:

He made her want to be his wanton. I should never seen him alone. He is too dangerous to have near me.  

Daario suggests she marry him instead of Hizdahr.  He suggests indiscriminate mass murder--all the Great Masters-- as a solution to her problems.

“Kill them all and take their treasures, I say. Whisper the command, and your Daario will make you a pile of their heads taller than this pyramid.”

Dany protests that they don’t know who exactly is to blame. “We have no proof this is their work.  Would you have me slaughter my own subjects?”

Daario suggests inviting all the Great Masters to her wedding and slaughtering them then and there.  Then comes this pivotal exchange:

Dany was appalled. He is a monster. A gallant monster, but a monster still. “Do you take me for the Butcher King?”

“Better the butcher than the meat. All kings are butchers. Are queens so different?”

“This queen is.”

Dany rebukes him for his insolence, and when she stands up, the lion pelt slips from her shoulders and tumbles to the ground.  She has shed the false identity she had assumed for her meeting  with Daario.

After she dismisses him, she recalls Ser Barristan and tells him she wants Daario and his forces away, back into the field.  Daario represents lust and the temptations of the Body to Dany; in alchemy terms, she is leaving the Body behind, as in the upper right of this gorgeous illustration.  (The Body is in the coffin; the Soul and Spirit are rising from it.)

That night, as she tries to sleep, she wrestles with her decision to send him away.  

“He would make a monster of me,” she whispered, “a butcher queen.” But then she thought of Drogon far away, and the dragons in the pit.  There is blood on my hands too, and on my heart. We are not so different, Daario and I. We are both monsters.

Dany is being a little hard on herself here.  The “blood on her hands” is because of Drogon, not her own deeds.  But she does recognize the threat of violence that the dragons pose.  They represent Mercurius, the base matter, and, as I’ve said before, I believe all three will perish before her final transformation to the Red Stone.  

Being your own alchemist is rare but not unprecedented.  In The Tempest, Prospero is the magician who sets the play in motion by creating the massive storm that shipwrecks his enemies on the island.  But in the end, it is Prospero who is transformed, as he forgives his enemies and frees Ariel.  The reconciliation is sealed with the marriage of Miranda to Ferdinand.  

Daenerys does get a third alchemist, Melisandre, in Season 7, who brings “Fire and Ice together.”  Then, when Dany and Jon join in the Chemical Wedding, they take on each other’s characteristics, merging their missions and purpose in life.  Or, as Emilia Clarke put it, they achieve a kind of “symbiosis.”

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG128 /o/

- I!! Hate!! The!! Parallels!! In!! This!! Series!!

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: Why are you here? BREEKON: Dunno. ‘t’s not right… on my own… not right… No point in doing it on my own. Don’t know what happens now…

[…] “I fed her to it. She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that. […] I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. Weak. No reason to move. Nothing to deliver. […] I have never known hate before. I have never known loss. But now, they are with me always, and I desire nothing but to share them with you.”

[…] ARCHIVIST: I, I saw that… thing’s mind, i–it’s lost on its own. No partner, no… purpose, I… I honestly think it just wanted to do another delivery.

The ~ surviving part of a half~ explaining how his whole existence is pointless and driveless now that his partner has been killed… sounded so, so much like Basira’s own situation regarding Daisy since:

(MAG112) DAISY: Elias is… keeping me busy. Hunting. Takes a while. [FALTERS] I’m used to working… with a partner. … It’s fine. BASIRA: Daisy… DAISY: It’s fine. BASIRA: Right. … But it’s not, though, is it?

(MAG117) BASIRA: […] But at least Daisy’s coming along. I mean… I know she’s… difficult. Everything they say about her, it’s true, it’s fair. But… she’s solid. She’s a fixed point. And if she’s there, I know exactly where I stand, exactly what I’m doing relative to her. She has no doubts. We go in, we plant bombs, we leave, we blow it all to hell. Or we die. I don’t think I’ll ever have clarity like that. Despite everything she’s done, she’s… she’s still the best partner I ever had.

1°) Basira and Breekon both are the remaining part of their own duo; the difference between monsterhood and humans being maybe… that Basira’s existence isn’t intrinsically tied to Daisy’s; that humans can feel loss and pain, but won’t get their literal raison d’être, sense of purpose and belonging shattered if they lose part or one aspect of them. In a way, that makes monsters’ existence more tragic, since they’re not even able to overcome, to thrive and to survive?

2°) I can’t help but wonder, flipping the situation: and if Daisy had been fed to the coffin first, and if Basira had stumbled upon Hope right after, would Basira have tried to hurt (one of) them the same way they had hurt her by taking Daisy’s life? (Would Jon have done it, too, if given the opportunity to hurt the ones who had hurt Tim and Sasha? He… actually did hurt Breekon here, and it is so, so easy, now, to perceive him as a Monster from the monsters’ point of view…)

3°) Jon’s summary of Breekon’s current state to Basira felt… quite cold compared to the statement itself, I felt? It wasn’t just “another delivery”: it was Breekon trying to viciously hurt what had hurt him. It was achieving a personal revenge before disappearing. I’m… a bit surprised that Jon went so clinical about it.

4°) But it could have also been a kind of protection, since… Yes, “Breekon” and “Hope” tortured and killed, delighting in others’ suffering and misery. And Breekon also confirmed something that we had seen through Jude’s erh, fascination with Agnes: that monsters and avatars are sentient. They have feelings. They are able to form attachments, to feel loss, to desire revenge. So… just because someone cares about a selected few, wouldn’t prevent them from hurting bystanders, innocent or people who just don’t personally matter to them. That’s not something especially encouraging when we have Jon in mind – he cares about the assistants and about Georgie, and he felt sad for the victims in previous statements, and I hope he will be able to remain this way, but… what will happen, what will be become when he “drowns”, indeed?

- I’m often struck with waves of awareness about how much I love this friggin’ series when listening to new episodes, and it happens in various ways – this time, my heart got full of love with the way Breekon’s statement definitely connected the dots between previous ones, through his point of view and in chronological order? And in the midst of it, we got a confirmation of what had actually happened in the second episode of the series!! How rad is this? How rad is it that, while the statements in themselves provide a story that works on its own since the beginning of the series, we’re able to revisit them with information that adds so much more meaning to things that were already there?

* Jon had wondered about “Breekon” and “Hope”’s alignment since they appeared to be involved with various powers, but seems they were indeed part of The Stranger in the end:

(MAG093) ARCHIVIST: But Breekon and Hope? Speaking Russian and helping transport a victim of… whatever dark power rules over disease and rot. And insects, maybe? I was just about convinced that they served the Stranger, and their speaking Russian might well support that if it ties them to the Circus, but… this is not the first time they’ve been delivering things that seem to be tied to other beings. Are they a neutral party, carting round whatever horror needs delivering, just a piece of otherworldly infrastructure? Or are they fully part of the Stranger, just serving as allies of convenience for other things that need to be moved?

(MAG128, “Breekon”) It wasn’t the plague they feared; it wasn’t the death that awaited in our wagon; it was us. Two strangers rolling towards them, unstoppable and uncertain, wearing faces they would only half-remember, bringing a fate they would beg their god to forget. They could not hate us anymore than they might have hated the rock that falls on them from a crumbling cliff. They did not know us. But they knew what we might do to them. What we might bring them. And we did. […] We always take what jobs are before us, deliver whatever will bring that fear and misery, but there is no joy in carrying Meat and shifting, writhing Spiral things.

They followed various phases of progress and technology: long-distance boat journeys as they served on the Robert Small during the 19th century, crossing paths with prisoners from Millbank sent to Australia (“Poor wretches who emerged from Millbank, with tales of Australia and its cruelty on their lips, bundled into the cramped and creaking ship that would drag them away from everything they loved – and towards everything they feared.”); trains, as they became conductors; cars, as they delivered items for auction houses at the beginning of the 20th century.

* Pre-MAG024, MAG044: during some time, including from 1948 to November 1952, they joined The Other Circus, feeling like they belonged:

(MAG024) ARCHIVIST: […] on page 43 of Gregory Petry’s Freaks and Followers: Circuses in the 1940s, I found a reproduction of an old black-and-white photograph. It shows a small group of carnival workers: a contortionist, a fire-eater, two strong-men, a ringmaster and an organist sitting behind a calliope. The photograph is labelled as being from 1948 and taken in Minsk, Russia.

(MAG044, Yuri Utkin) As I scrambled back, I felt a large hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see two huge men in overalls. They lifted me easily, so my feet hung almost two feet from the ground. They talked fast, crude Russian, and their words seemed to shift back and forth between them, telling me that behind the tent was off-limits […].

(MAG128, “Breekon”) Then were the good times, the Circus times. […] with the Circus we were amongst our own kind at last. […] We carried and lifted and helped the Circus move towards its next destination, the next, doomed town. Sometimes we joined the show, lifting weights and things that looked like animals. Sometimes we lifted members of the audience. Sometimes we even put them down again. […]

They didn’t like Nikola at first, but were impressed by her, though they eventually decided to leave when she “lost the ancient skin” – that one is, I think, a mystery? Gertrude stole the gorilla skin from the taxidermy shop but that happened June 23th 2013 and April 4th 2015, so it can’t be the same incident.

* For some time, they picked up hitchhikers (and starved them to death), though they missed having clear destinations and carrying spooky items bringing misery to people.

* MAG096: From 1993 to 1996, they slowly took over Alfred Breekon’s delivery company “Breekon & Hope”, stealing from him its name aaaand the infamous Cockney accent (MAG096: “[One] turned to his companion and opened his mouth. ‘Breekon at your service. Who might you be?’ Instead of the Russian accent I had expected, he spoke in a broad, cartoonish Cockney that I assumed must be a mocking impression of my own voice.”). They went back to doing deliveries or moving items for different entities (MAG093).

(MAG096, Alfred/Arthur Breekon) They wore featureless grey overalls, and even now I’m not sure I could easily describe what they look like, other than to say they seemed solid. Somehow heavier than the world around them. […] Strange folk began coming around asking for Breekon and Hope, and when I told them who I was, they just shook their heads, and I knew who they were after. They often brought crates or boxes with them and, once, a sack full of hair. […] For all that, they do seem to have friends, or at the very least, people who come to see them regularly. Most I don’t remember, the features difficult to put together from memory, but I know that more than once I’ve seen the pair of them talking to a figure at the other end of the depot. They always make sure these meetings are in shadow, and I can never get close enough to see exactly who they’re talking to, but I think they’re dressed like a circus ringmaster.

(MAG128, “Breekon”) Driving aimless, waiting for the call, sat badly with us. We were meant to know our destination. We were meant to have a cargo and an address. So it was we found a man named “Breekon”, and we took everything they were until there was nothing left but the sweet taste of a broken soul’s disquiet and confusion. We took the van and started to deliver once again.

* MAG002: In the 90s, they helped “John” carry an item from The Buried, when he was trying to test its powers – except it backfired badly, since the test subject he had picked turned out to be the Most Practical “Would Survive A Horror Movie” Statement-Giver Ever, and Joshua Gillespie managed to resist the coffin’s temptation for almost a year and a half. We already had a hint about “John” being from The Stranger in MAG002, because of how Joshua had trouble describing him:

(MAG002, Joshua Gillespie) I’ve tried to describe the man who now sat opposite me many times, but it’s difficult. He was short, very short, and felt like he had an odd density to him. His hair was brownish, I think, cut quite short, and he was clean shaven. His face and dress was utterly unremarkable, and the more I try to think of exactly what he looked like, the harder it is to picture him clearly. To be honest, though, I’m inclined to blame that on the drugs. […] John had to take a second to look me up and down, almost in disbelief, as I asked if they’d come to collect their coffin.

(MAG128, “Breekon”) And so we took the casket, a hungry thing of the Earth, a crushing, choking tomb that will not let you die because it is too much what it is for Death to find you there, within its mocking shape – buried alive. It was one like us that found it. A thing of shifting names and déjà-vu. A fool, that believed because it found a coffin in chains, it would be an easy thing to control, to bargain with. But there was no remorse when the test finally failed and it fed on the thing that considered itself the master.

Since Joshua had managed to not open the coffin, “John” was swallowed by it instead when they went to retrieve it.

* Breekon and Hope ended up stuck with the coffin and had to carry it around.

(MAG128, “Breekon”) But there was no mention of us in the deal. No thought towards what might happen should a victim pass the test. And what happened was… we were stuck with it. It was still our cargo. Nowhere to take it, no address or destination, so back in the van it went. A long time, we’ve carried it. Keeping it as close as it wants, not listening to it sing in the rain.

When Jon was sequestered by Nikola, she had made her distaste of the coffin clear, hinting that it wasn’t from The Stranger, while Breekon and Hope had said they couldn’t separate from it:

(MAG101) NIKOLA: Oh, don’t worry, it’s not for you. You won’t even need a coffin – we’re going to use every piece of you. ARCHIVIST: [MUFFLED EXCLAMATION] NIKOLA: Now could you two please move that thing somewhere far, far away? BREEKON: Not really. HOPE: Needs to be near us. NIKOLA: Well, just… just move yourselves away, and take it with you.

* MAG061: The coffin notably ate Daisy’s partner, Isaac Masters, on the 24th of July 2002 while they had stopped Breekon&Hope’s van (accompanied by a “Tom”) on the motorway for driving too slow.

* Overall: in MAG078 (2001, the Web table now binding the Not!Them), MAG024 (2004, the calliope), MAG020 (2009, Father Edwin Burroughs’s pale yellow stole), MAG054 (2013, stopped in front of the Taxidermy shop), possibly MAG083 (2013, taking the ringmaster “mannequin”), MAG035 (July 2016, bringing the Web table and the Web lighter to the Institute for Jon), MAG099 (May 2017, Jon was the (unwilling) package.), Breekon and Hope carried and moved things around, being mostly active for Stranger-related activities.

(MAG128, “Breekon”) Even when the mannequin that now called itself Orsinov came back to us, told us we could help the world Unknow and fear again the coming of Strangers, still we had to drag it with us: an unclaimed package.

* MAG119: during the Unknowing ritual, we heard Daisy as she snapped and tore Hope apart, Breekon then trapped her into the coffin.

(MAG128, “Breekon”) But I suppose it was worth it in the end. When that Hunter killed him, when she took her violence of mindless instinct and unleashed it on us… it was there. It was waiting. I fed her to it.

* MAG128: with Hope dead, Breekon realized he wasn’t tied to the coffin anymore and delivered the coffin to the Institute. Breekon fled, but will probably fade away soon.

- We got some additional information / some confirmation about Nikola’s creation, too:

(MAG097) ARCHIVIST: Who are you? NIKOLA: Well, my father called me Nikola, and then I killed him, so I thought I rather deserved to have his second name too. Which makes me Nikola Orsinov. Pleased to meet you at last. ARCHIVIST: You, um… You killed Gregor Orsinov? NIKOLA: Yep! He got really boring, and I’m a monster. I mean, what do you want me to do – not pull him apart? I did use all the bits.

(MAG102) ELIAS: […] There is also one, the “Danseuse Étoile”, that requires a costume of special power or distinction. Gertrude believed that Orsinov and his circus created a dancer specifically for this role. ARCHIVIST: I–I’ve met it. Calls itself Nikola.

(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, I s… I see the sad clown, b–bitter and hateful. I see him finding his way into a ci–circus where nobody knew him. I see him torn apart, becoming the mask, remade by a… a cruel ringmaster. Sometimes a doll, sometimes a mannequin, always hiding in somebody else’s skin. Somebody else’s name. NIKOLA: Not always, and it’s far too late for any of that. Nothing you see can help you.

(MAG128, Breekon) We didn’t like the puppet, when Orsinov began to carve it. It seemed wrong to us to try and bring one like us about; to create or remake it in such a solid, static shape. We were wrong, of course. When Orsinov carved into the thing that had once called itself Grimaldi, and fed the pieces they didn’t need to the shuddering organist, even we found ourselves impressed. And when the faceless puppet peeled its creator and moved itself with their tendon strings, he looked at me… and laughed… and laughed… We followed her a while, but she was unpredictable, while we are things of point and purpose. When she lost the ancient skin, we went our separate ways and found ourselves a lorry, long and dirty grey.

I had assumed that “Nikola” was the Hellish Lovechild of Gregor Orsinov (the ringmaster) and Nikolai Denikin (the organist), but it sounds like Denikin did Not Have A Great Time in that process after all, oopsie – we knew, according to Gertrude, that he had left the circus by the 70s (MAG044), so it might have been precisely because of what was done to him during Nikola’s creation. I wonder if he fathered his child before or after he was fed Grimaldi’s pieces, though? Because if so… is Leanne (statement-giver from MAG024), his granddaughter, kind of part-monster?

- With the chronology given through the courriers’ point of view, Breekon’s mention that he felt itself fading, and Jon’s following comment:

(MAG128) BASIRA: And there’s no chance more of the Circus survived the explosion? ARCHIVIST: I don’t think so. At, at least… Breekon didn’t think so.

… it sounds like Breekon’s statement served mostly to close The Stranger’s chapter. It feels… very weird, in a way. The Stranger had been the most prevalent of the entities since the beginning of the series: it opened it (MAG001), it was the invisible enemy through season 2, it was the shared target through season 3. It took Sasha. It took Tim. And now, the close future doesn’t sound much brighter: there are still books, monsters and avatars roaming out there, there is still the New Unidentified Menace, there is still the possibility of The Watcher’s Crown, there is still The Web weaving Her/its plans. The only satisfaction is that The Stranger’s ceremony won’t be a concern again for a few centuries, but there are still so many other threats to deal with…

- I’m also so fond of the way… things in Magnus tend to be hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time? That statement went full-on burlesque, twisting the deep-rooted complementarity and love into grotesque, and then bam, the conclusion just felt… sad? Tragic?

(MAG128, “Breekon”) They knew this and feared us in kind, and we drank it down, the taste of it sweeter than the food that now rotted on our plates or the drink that curdled in our cups. And we both tasted it together. When we left our destination, the mule whining at the new weight behind it, he would reach behind us and find a face, sagging, sloughing off its skull, and would pull it to him. He’d place it over the one he wore already, and he would laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Sometimes it fell off. Sometimes it stayed for weeks. I kept the face we chose, but I loved him for our levity, and the corpses piled ever higher. […] We knew she wouldn’t scream as she was hollowed out and drunk, but still he thought best to cover the sounds with a laugh. He was always our humour. […] And when the faceless puppet peeled its creator and moved itself with their tendon strings, he looked at me… and laughed… and laughed…

[…] She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that. […] I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. […] I have never known hate before. I have never known loss. But now, they are with me always, and I desire nothing but to share them with you.

ROMANCE!! IS!! NOT!! DEAD!!

- I’m very serious about how WOW did Breekon and Hope sound like soulmates, in a romantic or queerplatonic way. That “I remember our first automobile” too, felt like an old couple taking a look back on their whole life together. “Things” pretending to be “humans” and at the same time… demonstrating genuine emotions? And the whole use of pronouns! Breekon was avoiding them in his first sentences – sometimes avoiding to say I because he couldn’t say “we” anymore! Sentences being short and segmented, as if waiting for Hope to complete with the next part!

(MAG128) BREEKON: [HUFFS] Yeah. Just like when we… when I… fed the copper to the pit. […] In here. Realized that I’m not tied… to it anymore. Not on my own. Thought you could have it. Pay your respects, lik– […] Dunno. ‘t’s not right… on my own… not right… No point in doing it on my own. Don’t know what happens now… Thought I might kill you. Missed my chance. Thought I might just… deliver something. So here’s a coffin. [RATTLING SOUND] In case you want… to join your friend.

And in the statement, too: Hope was The “He” for Breekon, while humans tended to be “they”, even when identified as male/female (only exception being the old woman taken by The Web). Nikola was a “she”.

That’s… very fair, considering how Jon and others tend to use “it” for monsters: Jon began the episode by calling Breekon a “he”, and then switched after the statement (“I, I saw that… thing’s mind, i–it’s lost on its own. No partner, no… purpose, I… I honestly think it just wanted to do another delivery.” Rude, Jon, rude!!! Especially since the monsters just proved themselves to have feelings :w)

I never thought I would grow sad for effing Breekon and Hope, godsdamnit!

- Since MAG127 already mentioned Millbank and its possible ties to the Institute (through Jonah Magnus), and Breekon also consecutively mentioned both here, it sounds more and more likely that we’ll dig a bit into that part of history later:

(MAG128, “Breekon”) Poor wretches who emerged from Millbank, with tales of Australia and its cruelty on their lips, bundled into the cramped and creaking ship that would drag them away from everything they loved – and towards everything they feared. That was the first time we saw what would become this place, The Eye’s Pedestal. But we were drunk on the dawning horror of transportation and took no heed of it.

It’s… curious how Beholding has been grounded in the same place for so long? It seems to be the only entity to have become sedentary like this – Elias even mentioned that “Should I, or the Institute, be destroyed, you will all, unfortunately, follow suit.” (MAG092). That made it practical to feed The Eye (with people giving statements to an identified place), and now a danger since other entities know where The Eye’s people reside. Given how the place sounds so important, is The Watcher’s Crown supposed to take place right there? Though we don’t know how long the Usher Foundation in Washington DC and the Pu Songling Research Centre in Beijing have been around and whether they have the same status and history as the Magnus Institute (there wasn’t any mention of Archivists being tied to them, though; Xiaoling even explained how she had suggested someone from her centre for Elias…)

(I don’t know if the word “pedestal” was used on purpose here but… etymological root has to do with a foot. Elias had also said that “Basira is now tied to the Institute. All of you are. Like fingers on a hand. And I am the beating heart of it.” We’re completing the anatomy analogy?)

- Overall: HOLYYY MEEWWWWW, even though I’ve relistened to the episode multiple times by now, I just get chills every time when Jon… freezes the scene. The sound effects were so good, too!! Regular static, encasing that high-pitched buzz… and I loved the echo so much when Jon gave orders We’re so used to Jon getting slapped around that this sudden moment of control and authority was!!! The fact he sounded more offensive, aggressively protective!!

Even at the beginning of the episode, the fact that Jon was in charge of the situation was audible, since there were some shared elements with Nikola’s debut:

(MAG097) ARCHIVIST: [SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH FROM THE ARCHIVIST] NIKOLA: You don’t want to do thaaat~ [FOOTSTEPS] I mean, you can if you really want to, but you’re not going to like it. Sometimes not being able to see something is actually quite a good thing. […] Don’t turn on the light.

(MAG128) BREEKON: Don’t say a word. [SILENCE] BASIRA: [LONG EXHALE] [DOOR OPENS] BASIRA: Jon. Don’t turn on the light. Go get Melanie. Quickly. ARCHIVIST: It’s alright Basira, I know he’s here. BASIRA: So what are you doing? ARCHIVIST: I imagine he’s here to deliver something. Thought it might need signing for.

Light off, a Stranger who sneaked their way into Georgie’s house/the Archives. With Nikola, Jon was startled, stuttering, afraid, toyed with, dominated; with Breekon, Jon… managed. Stayed put. Snarked and used his powers. Stopped Basira and Breekon when they were on the verge of fighting. Neutralized Breekon.

(Though I think that Breekon might have punched/tackled Jon on the ground when he fled, and Jon collapsed right after reading the statement aloud so, eh, Order Is Restored in the world. Jon also still a punching bag.)

- Aaaaand in-universe, it was awful, thanks!!! So, Jon finally used compulsion again. He’d really held back until now, and mostly used it when Breekon was refusing to answer Basira’s own questions:

(MAG128) BASIRA: Is he here for revenge? ARCHIVIST: I don’t, I don’t know. Ask him. BASIRA: Like he’s going to answer me. ARCHIVIST: Fine. [INHALE] [STATIC–] Are you here for revenge? [/STATIC] […] BASIRA: What do you want? Why are you here? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGHS] [STATIC–] Why are you here? [/STATIC]

That was a lot of compulsion, but expected from an interrogation, and mostly to back Basira up. Jon also knew that Breekon was there – probably from another ~insight~. The new thing was how… Jon then proceeded to very naturally use a brand new power? Not 100% sure whether he was driven by a will to prevent harm to Basira (she was ready to fight Breekon) or by a desire to know Breekon’s story, or a mix of both, so intentions are not absolutely clear. The process, however, was worrisome in the mere concept of EXTRACTING a statement out of someone; the fact that Breekon clearly didn’t want it, told Jon to stop and was suffering from it… made it absolutely horrifying.

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: Stop. [HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING SOUND OVER STATIC–] BREEKON: What’re you doing? BASIRA: … Jon…? What are you doing? BREEKON: What’re you– Stop it… Stop it! ARCHIVIST: [ECHOING] No. BREEKON: [STRUGGLING, BUZZING INCREASES] Enough! Stop… looking at me!

(And I’m not sure that Jon didn’t actually contribute in Breekon’s feeling that he was “fading”: Jon got to know the unknown. I doubt that it can do any good to an agent from The Stranger – it seems like hurting their nature.)

+ Bonus point for Jon possibly developing night vision, since the whole scene took place in the dark (Basira told him to not turn on the light, and we didn’t hear the clicking of any switch). Though Basira also managed, so maybe Jon didn’t need to see.

(He looked at Breekon, however: did it feel like the whole weight of Beholding, like Jon experienced in his nightmares?)

- Basira had just summarised Jon’s powers last episode (MAG127: “So. You can’t be killed by a collapsing building. Major injuries scar up fast. You can force the truth out of people and knowledge pops into your head whenever you need it.”) and we’re already adding one more to the list – and it turns out to be that Jon can extract the story of an unwilling person out of them. It might have been in order to protect Basira here, but it also feels like the slope from one thing to the next could be so, so slippery… (from there to using his powers against a monster that wasn’t directly harming them, because they need its information; to using his powers against… anyone, really, as long as it’s protecting the assistants, even against people who never wished harm to them). Just this would make it understandable that Basira refuses to trust Jon or to get too close to him, since he’s proving that he’s developing, and fast, and that she can’t know what he will (become able to) do.

… At the same time, Jon would definitely need anchors and moral compasses around. (Martin, while you’re busy and involved into Peter’s schemes, and maybe truly fighting an actual threat, Jon is turning into another one ;;)

- Added horrifying bonus: it… sounded a bit like the “statement never given” that Elias did to Daisy? There was static when he gave it:

(MAG082) ELIAS: Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to make a statement. Your statement. […] Statement of Alice Tonner, regarding the crimes and death of Calvin Benchley. Statement never given. […] Everyone calls me Daisy. I like that because it sounds so gentle, and I’m the only one left who knows about the scar on my back.

Jon’s and Elias’s powers had sounded very distinct until now, but some bits are making them sound more similar, this season? Thinking about MAG102 again, I remember the sudden burst of static just before Elias mentioned that Melanie was coming up with a knife: had he seen that, or had he known about it (like Jon’s insight, same burst of static), since I doubt that Melanie’s knife was in clear sight in the corridors leading to his office?

(It wasn’t the same thing as what Elias did to Melanie in MAG106 and Martin in MAG118, since Elias didn’t present those as statements and used the third person, and, overall, the whole concept of it felt different: it wasn’t about extracting their stories, but about carving information they didn’t yet know in their brains. Putting in knowledge that wasn’t there. Will Jon become able to do that too eventually/soon…?)

- MMMMMMMMMMM

(MAG127) ELIAS: Possibly. Then again: you are beset by enemies on all sides, Basira. And unless you expect Jon to record them into submission, it would seem you’re in rather dire need of another option.

DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT NEW POWER, YOU AWFUL MAN :| (Since Jon “extracted a statement out of them into submission” and it was recorded.)

It also sounds less and less likely that Elias’s reasons to not be face-to-face with Jon are truly about ~*Jon’s own good (according to Elias)*~, uh.

(MAG128) BASIRA: […] So you won’t see him, but you’re happy for him to hear our conversations. ELIAS: He can listen all he wants, but he’s at a very delicate stage right now, and I… fear my presence would be a… a distraction. I’ve made it clear my cooperation’s contingent on his not seeing me, and my terms have been accepted thus far.

YEAH L-O-L ELIAS. Are you actually fearing that not only Jon could compulse the heck out of you now, but also pull out your own fucking statement out of you without you having a say in that. Hilariously (/horrifyingly), is the fact that Elias was thrown in jail… actually protecting him from Jon?

(I’m not saying that Elias wouldn’t be into Jon forcefully extracting his statement out of him. He was really into getting compulsed, even while fighting off the effect of it. But it would mean that Jon forcing information out of him probably wouldn’t be serving his plans right now, which means… he indeed Has Plans and things he wants to hide.)

- At least, Jon’s new power sounds like it’s taking its toll on him, which I’m taking as a good thing (since it will force him to be cautious about that, the sheer immorality and violence and cruelty of the power in itself notwithstanding):

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: Statement… ends. [RUFFLING OF CLOTHES ENDING WITH A THUD AS PROTAGONIST, WHO DEMONSTRATED A FAIRLY SURPRISING AMOUNT OF USEFULNESS THIS EPISODE, PROCEEDS TO SLIDE OFF CHAIR AND PASS THE FUCK OUT.]

I’ve laughed too many times on that stupid moment, I have no excuse for feeling like it’s Comedy Gold, but. But. Listen. It’s so… so Jon.

Another reason for Jon’s tiredness could also be due to the amount of statements he’s been handling lately. He has had periods like this: the end of season 2 was… pretty intense, only three weeks from MAG071 to MAG080. Right now, less than twenty days have passed from MAG121 (15th February 2018) to MAG128 (3rd March 2018). Assuming that MAG122 also took place on February 15th, 2018: MAG122: February 15th MAG123: February 17th (“Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.”) MAG124: February 24th (“It’s been a week and… Melanie’s attitude towards me hasn’t softened.”) MAG125: ? MAG126: ? MAG127: ? MAG128: 3rd March That means that since MAG124, Jon has been reading a statement about every other day (and at least once two days in a row). The current rhythm feels very close to the streak from MAG091 to MAG094, April 28th and 29th, which resulted in Jon giving up at the end of MAG094 and blaming it on the amount of statements (“Are you alright? You look like you’re about to keel over.” “Uh, no, I– I just… Ther– There’s been a lot of statements, in not a lot of time. I’m… I’m exhausted.”)

The average rhythm was around once a week usually, I don’t know if this means that Jon has been exhausting himself lately (to be fair, he doesn’t have a whole lot to do, since nobody wants to talk to him and he’s unable to do satisfying follow-ups) or that he feels withdrawal faster than before… and/or, in any case, if he’s just “obeying” the tape recorders when he sees one running.

- I feel Basira’s distrust very deeply, since… since Jon chose to write Breekon’s statement before recording it.

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: It’s fine…! [/STATIC] Get me a pen… please. [CLICK.]

[…] ARCHIVIST: Basira, we, we can’t– BASIRA: Yeah, I can read.

It’s not a given at all. Why did Jon decide to write it down, when he probably could have just recorded it right away?

I’m obsessed with this but: I can’t help but think that it might be related to Jon’s dreams – did he assume that recording right away would have made it count as a live-statement and that he would be “given” another dream, Breekon’s?

Assuming that Jon still sleeps. But at least, we know he can pass out! And he still drinks. He had asked for water back in MAG122, and Basira brought him another glass in MAG128 according to the sound.

(MAG122) BASIRA: […] Anything else? ARCHIVIST: Water. Please. BASIRA: Sure thing. [OPENS DOOR] ARCHIVIST: … Oh, or a cup of t– BASIRA: [CLOSES DOOR]

(MAG128) BASIRA: Here. [GLASS CLINKING] ARCHIVIST: Thank you.

- Now that we’ve had confirmation that Daisy is actually alive, reminder that:

(MAG120) ELIAS: […] All through it, the shadow is above him; the shape that gazes down upon him, bloodshot and unblinking. The rain is still there, though it is empty; the long and desolate road, slick with the downpour, a police car’s lights flashing over the unmoving van. The doors are open and the two familiar statues stand either side of the well-worn wooden box. He looks around, his eyes scanning this forever road and the clouds of iron grey, looking for her – but she is not there. The Archivist expects, he hopes, to find the violence in her looking back at him, hungry for pursuit and murder. But the emptiness of the place is complete, the only sounds the gentle singing of the box, and the pounding, bitter rain. He knows the writing on the coffin has changed, though is still carved into the splintered wood: [STATIC INTENSIFIES] “I am for you.” He knows it is not addressed to him, but he reaches down and pulls the chains off all the same. It opens, and he walks slowly down the steps into the earth; but even as it closes above him, the great shadow still Sees him. There is nowhere in this universe that it would not blot out the sky.

We don’t know what is supposed to happen if a live statement giver dies. Daisy’s case, though, was already an oddity, since her dream was still there – without her. Breekon did imply that The Eye couldn’t access the coffin when mentioning “John”:

(MAG128, “Breekon”) It was one like us that found it. A thing of shifting names and déjà-vu. A fool, that believed because it found a coffin in chains, it would be an easy thing to control, to bargain with. But there was no remorse when the test finally failed and it fed on the thing that considered itself the master. No face to Change in the cold, dark earth, and no Eye to fool, where it is now.

So although The Eye is all-powerful in Jon’s dreams, the coffin seems to be out of its reach in our world. Is that an overall property from The Buried, or specific to the coffin? I wonder if Leitner’s pamphlet, A Disappearance, is actually a Buried book too? (My suspicion had been The Spiral until now.)

(MAG080) LEITNER: Hardly a book. Barely twelve pages. It is entitled A Disappearance. If read cover to cover it removes one from the world. I cannot say precisely what that means, only that the assistant I assigned to it, Jacob Feng, was never seen again. I have found, however, that reading only one or two words is sufficient to hide me from the prying eyes of your master. It allowed me to talk with Gertrude in relative safety, and occasionally come above ground for my own ends.

(We… don’t know the status of that one, by the way, since Leitner had it close with him when Elias butchered him. So Elias probably got his hands on it.)

Overall: Jon still hasn’t mentioned anything about his dreams so far, while telling Basira that she could trust him and sounding very transparent and honest… I’m still not sure if Basira is suspicious of Jon having an active part in the dreams she used to have before becoming an assistant (and that Daisy still had as of MAG112, since she wasn’t an assistant), but if she is: that’s another reason to be wary of Jon. She would know there is something else that he’s not telling her anything about. What do you know/remember about your dreams, Jon…

- YOU KNOW WHO CAN FIND PEOPLE/THINGS THAT ARE “CONCEALED” THOUGH? THINGS THAT THE EYE CAN’T REACH?

(MAG101) “MICHAEL”: The Eye watches, and the Stranger conceals, but me… I lie, Archivist. I am the throat of delusion incarnate. They can’t hide you from me.

Jon! Jon!!! Could “Helen” help to reach the inside of the coffin…? (Really not sure about it, since it was about The Stranger, not The Buried, but then… Breekon was able to tell that people didn’t die inside of the coffin. How could it know? There might be ways to know/feel what is alive down there…)

- Basira time because Holy Mew did I get feelings all over.

(MAG128) [CLICK–] [SILENCE] [MOVEMENT, CHAIR RATTLING] BREEKON: Don’t say a word. [SILENCE] BASIRA: [LONG EXHALE] [DOOR OPENS] BASIRA: Jon. Don’t turn on the light. Go get Melanie. Quickly.

BASIRA, gdi!!! The fact that she was still level-headed enough to give instructions right away while threatened!! (I wonder if she told Jon to get Melanie to protect her, or if she thought that Melanie could still… be well enough to act as their fighter again, even when not under The Slaughter’s influence and recovering?)

And SSSSSSSSHHHHH you felt the shift when Breekon alluded to Daisy; Jon needed to act with her like she had acted with Daisy in the past, that really meant that she was ready to snap hard.

(MAG092) DAISY: Bouchard. BASIRA: Easy.

(MAG128) BREEKON: Yeah. Just like when we… when I… fed the copper to the pit. BASIRA: [ANGRY INHALE] ARCHIVIST: Easy, Basira. BASIRA: [EXHALE]

(And towards the end, was ready to FIGHT BREEKON…….)

(MAG128) BREEKON: In here. [KNOCKS ON SOMETHING] Realized that I’m not tied… to it anymore. Not on my own. Thought you could have it. Pay your respects, lik– BASIRA: Daisy’s in there.

Her voice and my heart broke at the same time with her “Daisy’s in there” AOUCH AOUCH AOUCH…

I’m still so fond of the way Basira is able to assess things very quickly and efficiently… and for once, she tipped over and lost her cool. Breekon made her crack, and holy Arceus, the fact that it was about Daisy…………….. hhh.

- Given how Basira announced that she would leave right after Jon stated that the coffin was from The Buried…

(MAG127) ELIAS: I might have an idea, yes. BASIRA: And what does it cost? ELIAS: Just some of your time, Basira. Just your time. BASIRA: … [SIGHS] Okay. Let’s hear it. [CLICK.]

(MAG128) BASIRA: Where does the coffin lead? ARCHIVIST: … The Buried. BASIRA: Right. [SILENCE] [INHALES] Right. Keep it safe, I’ll be gone a few days. I have some leads I need to follow up. ARCHIVIST: Sorry…?! BASIRA: You heard me.

I’m suspecting that Elias might have told her something cryptic and Buried-related, and that Basira pieced it together at that moment? What Elias told her could have been totally unrelated but it feels like an odd coincidence (especially since Jon had just proven that he could use his powers to neutralize enemies after all) and… going back to MAG120:

(MAG120) ELIAS: Hello, inspector. Martin. I’m… sorry to hear about Tim. MARTIN: Don’t. ELIAS: And Daisy, I suppose. MARTIN: Don’t. you. dare.

It sounded, back then, like the usual joke of belatedly remembering Daisy’s existence. But it could have also been Elias knowing that she wasn’t dead like Tim.

- I’m worried about what Elias told her, though, and what Basira will have to do ;; Assuming it’s all to bring back Daisy: is she supposed to go fetch an item that could help? Or someone: a Buried avatar? A Vast avatar (as they’re opposed): Simon Fairchild, since Jon doesn’t want to meet him? (He’s probably deaaaad but ;; can’t help but think about Jan Kilbride? He “disappeared” after going back to Earth but we know that he was still around in February 2008, when he gave his statement (MAG106), and probably June 2008, where he was implied to be with Gertrude when she went to stop The Buried ritual in America (MAG097). Probably died countering the ritual, but if he survived… he has already fought against The Buried, had met Gertrude, had collaborated with her to stop an apocalypse. Could be an interesting option. Though, once again: is probably long dead.)

… or is Basira supposed to ultimately take Daisy’s place in the coffin…

And I’m so worried over the fact that it… doesn’t seem like she told Jon anything about her meeting with Elias? Though Elias had told her that he didn’t mind Jon hearing their conversations (so she’s not coerced into hiding information, it’s her own decision)? It’s also unclear if she’s given the tapes to Jon, but we’ll see if Jon mentions them while she’s away – or… not at all. Jon will complain about Elias if he’s hearing anything from him.

- ;; We got Basira’s own summary of the events following The Unknowing and… indeed, her point of view clears up a lot of why she’s been so cautious and distrusting. Her previous situation was strongly tied to Daisy’s, and based on the assumption that she could more or less trust the others (though she wasn’t very confident in Tim and Jon’s abilities to fight):

(MAG0117) BASIRA: […] I don't want to be here. But by the end, I didn’t want to be police either, so… guess I don’t really know what I do want, which… maybe that’s just as well. My options… they’ve gotten a lot narrower over the last year. I don’t know. I feel kind of bad. Everyone seems to be having a much worse time of it than me, and I was meant to be the hostage. It’s amazing, how much you can ignore when you keep your head in a book.

Basira had been involved in the Institute against her will (MAG092); it has never been a place she chose. But in order to get out of The Unknowing, she couldn’t rely on anyone. She managed on her own, and since then: Daisy was officially dead, Tim was dead, Jon was in a coma. The only remaining people were Melanie (who had been unstable since then, while infected) and Martin:

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: […] You can trust me, Basira– BASIRA: Stop saying that. [SILENCE] Do you know how I survived the… The Unknowing? ARCHIVIST: I… No. No, I don’t. BASIRA: No powers, no… magic or… help. I was trapped in that place, and so I tried to figure it out. And I did. A little. So I kept doing it. I kept going through until I got out. I… reasoned my way out of that nightmare. ARCHIVIST: Good lord… BASIRA: Then everything ended, and Daisy was gone. And you were gone. And Tim. And then I got back to the Institute, and Martin sent me to meet the new boss. Then I stood alone in an empty office for more than one hour. I can trust me, Jon. That’s it. ARCHIVIST: [SIGHS]

It officially answers why Basira said that she had never met Peter Lukas in MGA123 (“Never seen him. As far as I can tell, Martin’s the only one who has.”) despite the fact that Peter had asked Martin to bring Melanie and Basira to his office in MAG120 (“Well, if you could send Melanie and Basira up to see me, I’d like to introduce myself.”). I get the impression that Martin’s behaviour really was what convinced her to not trust easily? She… hasn’t been mean towards him since the beginning of season 4, actually defended him, acknowledged that he has had a difficult situation, but at the same time… I wonder if she isn’t having the same suspicions as I am: that Martin and Peter are one and the same, or that Peter is rooted in Martin, without Martin being aware of it? And the conclusion would be that just because someone is genuine and wishes you no harm doesn’t mean that they can’t actually be a threat to you. Hence her wariness towards Jon, even though he insists that they’re on the same side.

(Ironically, it’s… a bit like Tim’s reasoning in season 3: when he got back on his feet and driven by his desire to avenge Danny’s death by destroying the Circus, he also began to avoid everyone since he couldn’t be sure that they weren’t something like the Not!Them or plainly didn’t know them, and he decided to only rely on himself. We know how that ended for Tim; that doesn’t bode well for Basira… ;;)

- Basira used to like Jon’s sense of humour and… it’s not the case anymore, uh.

(MAG088) BASIRA: I just, I mean he was good company. Y’know, when he wasn’t being a paranoia machine. He was funny, you know? MARTIN: What, Jon? BASIRA: Yeah. MARTIN: I don’t think I’ve ever heard him tell a joke. BASIRA: Maybe you weren’t listening.

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: […] So: we’re under siege; Melanie is aggressively unstable; Martin is working very closely with The Lonely, who is, predictably enough, isolating him; and, oh, yes, Tim and Daisy are still dead. Which is at least easy to keep track of! BASIRA: That isn’t funny, Jon. ARCHIVIST: I know it’s not–! … Sorry. It’s just… it’s a lot.

(MAG128) BASIRA: And don’t open the coffin. ARCHIVIST: [HUMOROUS EXHALE] It is addressed to me! [SILENCE] … Yes, alright. … Alright.

I COULD JUST FEEL BASIRA’S GLARE IN THESE LAST SECONDS. Jon relenting and changing his tone was so beautiful.

Too bad for Jon he mentally scarred the only person who was still finding him entertaining:

(MAG128) BREEKON: … That’s ‘s name? Then sure. ‘t’s in there. Whatever’s left. Find out if you like. ARCHIVIST: Would you please drop that ridiculous voice?! BREEKON: [DIFFERENT ACCENT] Apologies. Is preferred like so? ARCHIVIST: Christ, that’s worse… BREEKON: [CHUCKLES] ARCHIVIST: [STATIC–] What is your real voice? [/STATIC] BREEKON: [CHUCKLES] Nikola said you were funny. Didn’t believe it.

Jon, why do you do this to the people who at least appreciated one (1) thing about you.

(I’m still rolling on the floor about how, while a MONSTER had SNUCK INSIDE the Archives, and was partially THREATENING THEM, and had proven in the past that it could WRECK YOU in a fight, and had even PUNCHED JON HIMSELF before throwing him in its van back in MAG099… Jon’s priorities involved getting irritated about its fake accent. Jon. Joooooooooon. You’re especially funny when you’re not even trying.)

- At the same time, Basira didn’t absolutely cut Jon out entirely. She’s still probing him with questions, still waiting for him to share his discoveries. She brought him water. And… the fact that she’s leaving the Institute for a while incidentally puts Melanie and the coffin in Jon’s care – that’s… actually… a form of trust, in a way? I wonder if she might be, despite it all, trying to test whether she can trust Jon on some matters.

(MAG128) BASIRA: You heard me. Don’t ask about [my leads], and don’t know about them either. ARCHIVIST: I can’t exactly control that! BASIRA: Learn. ARCHIVIST: … [SIGHS] I’ll do my best. […] BASIRA: I’ll try and be back in a week or two. Don’t think about me. ARCHIVIST: Right.

^Could be a way to check if Jon can prevent himself from spookily knowing or trying to investigate? Forcing himself to find a way to refrain it even if he has no idea about how at the moment? (Basira is absolutely the reverse of an enabler, which… makes sense, since she keeps finding new ways to get herself out. She managed to survive The Dark. She was the only one who managed to find her way out of The Unknowing, by herself. At the same time, what she told Jon is… easier said than done. But indeed: it’s that, or enabling and probably accelerating Jon’s downfall.)

(- At the same tiiiime, re:Martin, maybe it would be Very Too Much Hopeful, but. But.

(MAG128, “Breekon”) […] The Spider’s always an easy job – no fuss, no complication, everything planned and prepared. It knows too much to truly be a Stranger, but hides its knowing well enough to injure.

YES, it sounds awfully like The Web and what it’s probably doing right now with Jon/the Institute. But I also thought about Martin, here, and I can’t shake the idea now: it’s clear that Martin is wary of Peter and he explicitly said he didn’t like to be manipulated – he’s not oblivious to what Peter is doing, though… he’s also been opening himself a lot more than feels necessary (Peter knows how to push Martin’s buttons and to persuade him). But what if it’s actually more about Martin trying to manipulate him – Martin showing some parts of him only to get closer, pretending to be vulnerable, trying to establish how Peter operates and what his weaknesses are, for when Martin would have accumulated enough knowledge to take care of the new threat? I mean, Martin took down the previous Head of the Institute through dissimulating and deceiving. He’s done it before. He could do it again.) (/ realistically: yes, it’s me trying to still hold on to the possibility of Web!Martin, sssssh >> I… was so fond… of the aesthetic of Martin being in control, albeit awkwardly…)

- Breekon breached into the Institute and mentioned that he’s felt “loss” since Hope’s death. So. You can’t convince me that Peter Lukas, Agent Of The Lonely, didn’t know that he had entered the Institute. And yet, he didn’t help, didn’t do anything at all.

He had mentioned that Elias was “very protective of his people” (MAG100), which wasn’t super-reassuring regarding how Peter himself takes care of his people, even less for people that are not even his, but… we still don’t know why Elias chose him as an interim director (… if he indeed did), and after The Flesh attack and now Breekon, it seems less and less likely that it was to protect the Archives or Jon himself. So: why was he chosen? What is he supposed to do?

- It sounds like what Peter had hinted at the end of season 3 worked exactly how we could fear – “giving everyone some space”, from a Lonely agent, sounded… very bad and worrisome. And indeed, they drifted apart:

(MAG120) PETER: […] After that, I’ll put through a couple of weeks of paid leave for you all. I think giving everyone some space, to try and deal with the loss of… Tim and… Daisy, might do everyone some good.

Hey!! Peter and Elias, so far, totally succeeded in shattering the Archives team. They’re not even able to collaborate on a common project like they did in season 3 (trying to stop The Unknowing, getting Elias into jail). Martin has been persuaded that his “isolation” will help to fight the New Threat; Basira is adamantly choosing to not trust Jon; Melanie has been refusing to talk to Jon so far. Jon has been successfully isolated, too. Was it the point, or one of the points, of what Elias and Peter did overall…?

- Jon, please, don’t say anything ever unless you’re being pessimistic/negative, since:

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: […] and, oh, yes, Tim and Daisy are still dead. Which is at least easy to keep track of!

Daisy is not dead anymore! You were wrong again and things did get more complicated! Rejoice!

… Although Daisy is probably having it worse than death and has been for the past seven months; it could be that they’ll manage to get her out of the coffin only to have to mercy-kill her shortly after. Or will she have to make the same kind of choice that Jon did in MAG121? Like Jon, she’s in a place The End can’t reach:

(MAG121) OLIVER: […] The thing is, Jon, right now, you have a choice. You’ve put it off for a long time; but it’s trapping you here. You’re not quite human enough to die, but – still too human to survive. You’re… balanced on an edge where The End can’t touch you – but you can’t escape him. I made a choice. We all made choices […].

(MAG128, “Breekon”) And so we took the casket, a hungry thing of the Earth, a crushing, choking tomb that will not let you die because it is too much what it is for Death to find you there, within its mocking shape – buried alive.

I would really like to see Daisy back and functional; the fact that she was Basira’s anchor makes me fear that ahaha nop, would be too hopeful (and she snapped during The Unknowing...), but I loved the familiarity they shared with Basira… And I loved Daisy and Jon’s weird little friendship, gosh!!

(MAG096) ARCHIVIST: So, what? Now you sell dead animals? What is this place? SARAH: The Trophy Room. A taxidermist shop in Barnet – it says above the door. Surprised to meet an Archivist who can’t read. ARCHIVIST: No, I– DAISY: [LAUGHS] Nice! […] DAISY: Come on. Before the Met get here. ARCHIVIST: Whatever you say~ DAISY: And wipe that grin off your face.

- In the meantime: how much will it sting, for Jon, to… keep watch over the coffin, knowing that Daisy is inside and that they might ultimately find a way to save her… while Tim is dead-dead and won’t come back, and there is no hope of him coming back ever again. When one glimmer of hope happens, it’s often hard to refrain from thinking that others could follow suit.

- We’re now 1/5th into season 4! And even if Jon feels ~static~, we’ve technically learned quite a lot? In the six months following the Unknowing, not strictly chronologically: Elias stayed in prison; Peter Lukas “managed” the Institute without revealing himself to anyone except Martin, only sending emails and memos; some researchers disappeared after ignoring his orders; Martin’s mother died; Melanie’s frenzy worsened; Basira tried to keep things afloat; other Fears have been targeting the Institute to prevent The Eye from completing its ritual in this cycle; the Flesh attacked the Archives and was defeated thanks to Melanie; Melanie & Basira have begun to live in the Institute; Martin visited Jon in the hospital, begging him to wake up and help, and given the lack of answer, accepted to work with someone (most likely Peter) with the promise that the others would be “safe”, and has indeed been working with Peter Lukas since then, getting more and more estranged from Basira and Melanie.

Since MAG121: The Dreamer, Oliver, revealed that he had turned into an avatar of The End. Jon ~made his choice~ and woke up. Georgie decided to stop taking care of Jon. Jon said that he didn’t remember everything about the Unknowing, learned that Tim and (presumably) Daisy were dead. We learned that The Web might have intertwined itself with the Institute for (at least) the past years, or at least that Annabelle might have intentions regarding the Institute or Jon in particular. Jon has used many powers other than compulsion, at an alarming rate: Knowing things, being directed towards specific statements (and feeling the presence of written ones), forcefully extracting a statement from someone’s brain, being able to See an otherwise undetectable spooky item (Melanie’s bullet). Basira and Jon removed said bullet from Melanie’s leg; Jon got stabbed in the shoulder, healed quickly. Melanie’s anger was confirmed to have been at least partially supernatural and Slaughter-induced, though she is still currently deeply hurt by the whole ordeal. Jon and Martin briefly saw each other, with Martin intentionally avoiding contact: he indeed made a deal with Peter Lukas, they’re working on Adelard Dekker’s suspicions of a new Menace, which requires Martin getting more powerful (and balance “between the two”), hence his “isolation”. Martin has been taking care of the Institute’s admin tasks for Peter, who “can’t stand computers”. We learned what happened to Albrecht von Closen a few years after he had sent his letter to Jonah Magnus: Jonah stole the mausoleum books from Albrecht, who turned out to have had sons by the time he died (his body filled with eyes). Basira visited Elias in prison: Elias gave her a tape recorder that had appeared in his cell, for her to give to Jon, and explained that he doesn’t want Jon to see him. He tipped Basira off about another potential “defender” for the Archives. Breekon brought the coffin to the Institute, confirmed that Daisy is inside and not dead; Jon used a new power on him to prevent him and Basira from fighting, unrolling his backstory. Basira is leaving for (she thinks) about one or two weeks, to follow up on “some leads”, potentially Buried-related, and forbade Jon from trying to Know what she is doing.

Tl;dr It feels a bit like things are dragging on and that not a lot is happening since Jon is back to being sedentary (after moving, going out and travelling a lot in season 3), that we’re waiting together with Jon… but at the same time, the shrouds around some mysteries are becoming a bit clearer, and a lot of elements have felt like they’ve broken the new status quo already. We’re getting a few missing pieces and completing new parts of the puzzle, while we’re advancing towards… something. (It feels a bit to me like the slow initial ascend of a rollercoaster, too: and there is the dread that when things will pick up for real, the velocity and savageness will simply be mind-shattering…?)

- I have a few ideas about Jon’s options but no certainty nor ~insight~ about what he could choose to do right now, since Basira left? Will he wait? Will he keep pushing his powers, trying to get redirected towards a statement that could help them… with the whole situation, or for the coffin? Will he try to actively research on The Buried or The Hunt? Will he try to focus on something else to avoid accidentally prying into Basira’s business: trying to get Martin back, digging a bit more into the Institute’s foundation or Gertrude’s notes again?

Now that Basira has left, though, a discussion with Melanie… might be coming ;; I’m eager and anticipating Pain at the same time, though… She had been aware of a change in her when she was influenced by the bullet (MAG117: “Elias thinks he’s got this ingenious way to hurt people, but it’s just the same old bullshit in a creepy new package. … asshole… God! I just want to rip his…! [BREATHES] When did I… start to lose the parts of me that weren’t just anger…? … Hm.”), so I’m really curious to hear her again, now that she’s been presumably freed from it – with rightful resentment and distrust… but also a clearer mind.

(I wonder if we’ll hear about Georgie again through her ;;)

MAG129’s title has been given on Patreon: statement-wise, I’m suspecting a Buried one (though could also be The Lonely, or The Dark attacking the Archives, maybe). As for the second meaning, I’m flipping a table in fear that it could be about Jon’s metaphorical inner door already – but at the same time… it would feel very early for that. So, hum. Could be about Melanie’s impressions from when she was under the bullet’s influence? Could be about Jon getting emotionally overwhelmed by everything and having a breakdown, without any door opening? … Could be about Martin and Peter again.

[largebeeffriedrice]

Choose Your Deity Carefully - Chapter 2

Also on AO3 if that floats your goat more. 

Chapter 2: Terms and Conditions

There's a 90's country song that goes something like, '...before I know it Saturdays gone, but it's Sunday now and you can bet that I'm alright.'

Indeed, the Sunday following my run in with Loki was quite uneventful. Which was marvelous for me.

I'd stayed in my apartment and nothing bad happened to me. My cable didn't cut out, all the neighbors were surprisingly quiet, and someone even ordered a pizza that I got because somehow the driver had the wrong address but also somehow had an extra pizza.

That last one I was very suspicious about and wondered if my potential new deity had anything to do with it. If he had then I was pretty prepared to accept becoming a worshipper. My only problem was that I was still a skeptic and wanted proof that this act was tied to him.

Especially since he didn't seem like the type to do good will favors or at least not without some fanfare. Even if it was just to convince me to convert.

But by Monday, I was back to dragging my feet and attempting to not cry at every misfortune that befell me.

The bakery I went to every Monday was closed due to a handful of health code violations, my bus drove right by my stop, and the sole to one of my flats suddenly started tearing away. Forcing me to walk to work with my stomach growling and my foot aching from the continuous slap of my sole smacking into my heel with every step.

I tried to reason that this is just stuff that happens to people.

Especially stuff that happens to me. But it was just getting more and more unusual how much happened in one day. Even one week. Hell, I'd go so far as to even say a month!

But I'd be damned if it didn't make me more tempted to take up Loki's offer.

The temptation rose when Megan from accounting visited me on the third floor to ask me again how to spell my name and, "Oh, weird. I'm not even showing you on the payroll now."

It reached its climax when I went to go take my lunch and found that someone had eaten all of my food before putting my empty lunch sack back into the fridge with a note that said, 'Should have put your name on it.'

My full name was still visible on the wrinkled up bag.

After lunch, I had returned to my desk and started researching what I could about Loki and then, once I'd learned some mythology, started looking up what kind of offerings Norse Gods accepted.

I'd opened a couple different tabs from some sketchy looking websites but had to admit they seemed pretty detailed. Though some of the stuff went over my head--- was I supposed to actually find real dragon blood or just the incense?--- I felt confident that it would be easy to keep the trickster pleased with small tokens of worship. Who doesn't like alcohol and burying coins in exchange for good luck?

I was about to Google and see if there were particular prayers or something required of me when my computer screen suddenly went black.

I tapped, banged, and pleaded with the screen to come back on. I even unplugged and replugged in the tower to try and get the piece of shit working. But, inevitably, I had to accept defeat and call someone from IT to come look at it.

It was while I was waiting that everything fully cemented into my mind. Full acceptance of Loki's deal washed over me, as I realized that I was going to have to explain to some tech guy why I was looking up Norse mythology when I was supposed to actually be working.

~~

Later that night, I set to work making a sort of altar spot for him in my living room. All of the blogs I'd seen had dedicated the color green to him so I went with it. I'd bought green candles, incenses, a tiny planting pot for whatever coins I found around the apartment, and a pretty fake plant.

The plant was really more for me but it seemed to fit on the crate I bought for all my worshipping needs so I left it there.

The faint aroma of burning meat started flooding my apartment as I lit the candle and incenses and carefully placed them away from the plastic leaves of my plastic hydrangea.

That was another thing I had ended up learning. Not from my computer but from the IT person sent to fix the damn thing. After she had tried to explain to me what was wrong with the computer, thankfully not a virus, she had then chatted me up on the content still sitting guiltily in my browser.

Apparently, she was a major history buff and had been more than pleased to tell me about how people would go so far as to burn meat as a form of sacrifice to the old gods. Something about how it symbolized their level of devotion since they were willing to give up valuable food to keep the deities happy.

It made sense after she explained it and I even agreed to talk to her more about it over lunch one day; partially because I wanted to know more and partially as a way to thank her for her willingness not to tell anyone that I hadn't been working.

Of course, I didn't really have money to go out and buy meat specifically for this so I had to accept the burning crisp death of a roast I'd planned to make for dinner that night. Maybe I'd ask for a favor that involved Megan from accounting since I felt like this was somewhat her fault.

But as the meat burned, the candles flickered, and the incense tickled my nose, I realized nothing was happening. I'd completely forgot to finish looking up what else I was supposed to do to actually summon Loki back to me. I should have asked the IT woman.

So, I did the only thing I had some knowledge of and kneeled beside the homemade shrine and bowed my head to pray.

"Loki. I don't even know what I'm supposed to say in a prayer. But I'd like to discuss the deal you offered me. Umm. Very interested. Thank you."

That was good. Right?

Still, nothing happened.

I stayed kneeling next to the altar for a few more moments before finally deciding to go check on the meat. The way my luck had been running I was risking sending my apartment up in a fiery blaze from my antics.

I rounded the corner into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks at the sight. My prayer had been answered.

Loki sat crossed legged on the island, staring worriedly at my oven, and mindlessly rubbing at his chin.

It is still not clear if he just happened to notice me standing there or if I had maybe made a gaspy noise, but his eyes suddenly flicked my way and he finally said, "Mortal, you know that you have a perfectly ruined piece of roast in here, right?"

'Yeah, it's a sacrifice or something for you."

The arched eyebrow look again, "How mundane and wasteful. We could have had that for dinner."

The annoyance that surged through my body helped me move into action and I stomped further into my kitchen to turn the oven off and 'save' the roast from it's burning coffin.

"Well, it's not like you told me how I was supposed to call upon you or anything."

He didn't respond as he continued eyeing the roast. Even as it sat burnt and black on the stovetop. I'd never been great at reading people but it almost seemed like he had a hungry gleam in his eyes.

It was enough of a glint that I decided to risk it and ask, "I can fix something to eat if that's really what you want?"

He licked his lips, slowly, before answering, "No. I don't have time for that now. We need to talk about you doing a better job as my acolyte."

How long had he been in here staring at the charred hunk of meat? I tried to think about how long I had been in the living room preparing but honestly couldn't remember.

"I haven't actually agreed to it yet."

"But you want to. I already know," his hands rolled around one another, causing a flash of green light to abrupt in the empty space between them. The light blindly filled the whole kitchen and then quickly faded to reveal a rolled up scroll.

As his right hand grabbed at the floating parchment paper, his shockingly green eyes finally looked away from the roast and pinned me with a fiendish smile.

Loki held the paper out to me and softly spoke, "This is the terms and conditions."

Hesitantly, I reached out and gingerly took the scroll from him. A thought flitted through my mind and briefly, I paused and wondered if I was technically accepting the offer just by taking the paper.

But curiosity was my worst enemy and I clutched the paper a little tighter and fully pulled it from his hand.

His mirthful expression only grew as he watched me unravel the scroll and scrupulously read over it.

"Wait. I thought I was the one asking you for favors?"

"I said that there would be times I would require acts from you. Those are just the ones that I know about ahead of time."

"You want me to help you gain how many new followers?! You are the same guy who attacked New York aren't you?"

This only earned me a quick scowl before the God of Mischief recovered and replied, "Yes, but look at the benefits."

"Literally the benefits of me helping you get that many worshippers are that you don't kill me. I could always refuse to not accept this deal and not die. Right?" I didn't wait for him to answer as something popped into my brain, "Why do you even need this?

What are you really getting out of 'helping' me?"

Loki tsked me and shook his head disdainfully as if I was stepping out of line by asking such a question. I gave him another second or two before it became obvious that he had no intention of clarifying anything.

I wish this had rattled me more than it did at that moment. But sadly I just accepted his silence and had gone back to reading over the terms and conditions. Letting myself get swept up into the whirlwind chaos of the God of Mischief.

"So, you don't have an actual church?"

"Ew, no."

"Where are people supposed to go to pray to you then?"

He childishly turned up his nose and crossed his arms, "Praying is terrible and I want no part of it. It's dull, unimaginative, and normal."

"How am I suppose to truly worship you then? How am I supposed to communicate with you when I can't find you?"

These were the right questions and his jade eyes fixed on me with a flare of excitement.

With a quick and loud snap of his fingers, a second scroll appeared in his left hand. He pointed at me with the rolled up paper and hissed, "Once you sign and agree to that paper, I will gladly hand over this list of everything you'll need to know for proper offerings and all the works. Plus, I'll go over how to send word to me."

My eyes narrowed and kept glancing back and forth between Loki's smug, long face and the scroll resting loosely in his hand.

Again, past me should have followed her gut on how shaken she'd felt at having heard that the actual required acts were being kept on a different paper for AFTER she sold her soul.

But whatever. I'm still here. For now.

"Are you actually going to kill me if I don't succeed with your side mission?"

'No. Too messy. I'm already in enough trouble. But I can make your life very miserable."

That obviously didn't sound promising but the allure of having a year of better luck somehow won out in my mind. If my death was messy then no way he would actually really commit to tormenting me forever. Right?

"Also, I don't have to have sex with you, right? If that's on that paper in your hands then I refuse."

An exasperated huff, "No. That's not on the paper."

"Okay then, God of Mischief and Chaos," I paused when he held a finger up as if to correct me, but he scrunched his nose up instead and motioned for me to continue, "Get me a pen and I'll agree to a year of being your lackey."

"Wonderful," another snap of his fingers and a pen apparated into my right hand, "this is going to be so much fun."

As I signed the document in my hand I noticed that a symbol had appeared in the section marked off for Loki to sign. It didn't surprise me that he'd use magic instead of his own hand but I couldn't make out what it was supposed to be.

"What is that symbol for?"

"It's my corresponding rune."

"Oh."

And just like that the ink of the paper glimmer and glowed in a golden aura before I had to slightly shake my head and blink rapidly. It looked as if there were double words on the paper and I couldn't figure out why my brain was hallucinating that.

Except my mind wasn't.

The doubled ink suddenly pulled itself together at the bottom of the paper and then slowly bled and trickled its way towards my left hand. I gasped and roughly started shaking my hand, trying to get it to let go of the scroll.

But my fingers held tight against my will and the wild shaking did nothing to deter the ink from continuing its path now towards the inside of my wrist. Once it had all gathered there the ink started to sizzle against my flesh and then evaporated completely by the time I could even release a pained howl.

Where the ink had just been there was now a seared version of "Loki's rune" resting on my pink and inflamed skin.

"What the hell!? I didn't agree to be branded!"

The God of Mischief laughed hardily at my indignation and even slapped his hand on his knee a few times.

The merriment ended just as suddenly as it had begun and in its place, an exhausted expression took over Loki's face. It was as if he'd aged a couple sleepless years in an instant. Dark circles rested below his eyes and some frown lines were a little more visible next to his mouth.

With a tired sigh, he held out the other scroll and murmured, "Hold on to both of those papers. They are going to be your best tools for the next year."

I'm not even sure what had happened to the pen--- and I never gave it any thought until just now--- but I reached out my right hand and tugged the paper quickly from him. Not wanting anymore more trickery tonight.

He simply arched another brow in amusement and then blinked out of existence.

Leaving me standing alone in my kitchen with a burnt roast and two old ass looking scrolls.

"Okay. So. That all happened," I muttered while making my way back towards the shrine in the living room, "Though I don't know what I'm going to do about work since I'm not allowed to have a tattoo."

With my own weary sigh, I blew out all the still burning candles and snuffed out what was left of the incense. Then I rolled the contract up and placed it neatly next to my new fake plant.

I'd intended to just leave the new scroll rolled up with the contract, and look at it tomorrow, but something tickled at that back of my head and wouldn't let up until I started to unfurl the parchment.

Sure enough, my hands began shaking and one of my eyes started to twitch rapidly.

"THIS PAPER IS BLANK, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

I had failed to consider that Loki was not just the God of Mischief. Not just the God of Chaos.

But most importantly... he was the God of Lies.

[vivace-joyous]

True Blood 1x05

Wait Sookie and Jason's grandmother died THIS early in the show??? I thought it was like either later in season 1 or sometime in season 2. Oh WOW. Damn I feel bad about losing her presence so soon in the show.

Also, TOTALLY forgot that Jason actually does reciprocate feelings back to Tara. Even admits that she was such a big help to him. But then completely fucks it up cause he high as shit on V ohh man. I forgot how truly dumb as ball Jason Stackhouse was in these early seasons. I'm pretty sure he gets his way better later when Jessica gets introduced and also when he has to take care of the were-panthers. But damn damn damn. He is so hot. Yep dumber than a sack of bricks.

The descendants of the glorious dead stuff was... Weird. I felt it was true to form for what type of small town Bon Temps is. I just wished they were more tongue-in-,cheek about it? I'm starting to pick up that this show likes to feel very "post-racial". Despite having the random ass homophobia scene with Layafette??? Tara's racial remarks are often just framed as ways for her to talk herself out of situations. She cries discrimination but it's clear that is a part of her highly defensive personality that is explored through her character as the show progresses. But the show is "post-racial" but vampire discrimination pops up nearly fully formed by the time "vampires come out the coffin" but Layafette can still face homophobia at his workplace? Yet it's only like these dudes who are being weird cause most of the other casts loves Layafette to death? Like I'm getting loopy just writing this all out. White people really don't know how oppression works good god

Also, this show feels like... extremely bisexual? As in this show sexualizes both the male and female characters equally. I would like others opinions but for everyone sexy shot of a woman, we tend to get another sexy shot of man at some point. Like I'm Kinsey 6 gay but I feel fed sexually with some of the dude meat presented. Most of it is Jason but as the shows says, he is "sex on a stick". But I KNOW this show gives us SOOO many more sexy man meat. Like I can tell y'all now I am NOT ready for Alcide to come back into my life. But idk like if I were bi, idk if I could watch this show. There would be too many things turning you on. Praise God for making me just gay. Hallelujah