#than I looked at the old blog title bats! bats everywhere! and thought why not that

[bats-bats-everywhere]

I changed the blog name, now it kinda copies the name of my trollhunters blog’s name but oh well XD Still a bit more creative then just putting my user name ahead of silverwing

[whatiwillsay]

t 2017 playlist analysis

Alright folks, whether you’re newly indoctrinated in the swiftgron faith, or have been here for a while, buckle up because boy is there crack coming your way.  It should be important to note that these are of course reaches and should be taken with a grain/pound of salt.  What you’re about to read is a lyrical analysis of a playlist made by Dianna on her private spotify, titled ‘t 2017.’  Therefore, the only real ‘evidence’ we have to make connections lies in the lyrics, and the general vibe of the playlist.

The following lyrical analyses stems from the idea that Taylor and Dianna may, and I strongly say may have hooked up, possibly around late 2016, or early 2017 (right when this playlist was made).  If you haven’t already, I highly suggest reading Cam’s Swiftgron timeline that she has meticulously and laboriously outlined for all of us, so you have more background knowledge on any reaches/connections made.  Also listen to her pod for extra serotonin cause I know you bitches want it.  Anyway, I digress– I’ll be pointing out only the songs/lyrics that I think are most relevant (and to make this post shorter, I apologize in advance) but I urge y’all to take a look at each songs’ lyrics to see for yourself, because some of these songs seem loud af.  Ok happy reading!

Genesis- Grimes

My heart, I never feel I never see I never know Oh, heart And then it falls And then I fall And then I know

This verse talks about the unpredictable nature of love, you never know when those feelings could come rushing in, and there could be days when you feel like you’re never going to love again– gives me cowboy like me vibes with that particular sentiment.

Home and I know Playing the deck above It’s always different I am the one in love

Ok I don’t think this one needs any explanation other than tis the damn season.

1998- Chet Faker

We used to be friends We used to be inner circle I don’t understand What have I become to you

This verse is giving me major the 1 vibes– “rosé flowing with your chosen family” kinda thing.  Relationships (yes, even hookups) are hard, especially when you go from knowing someone like the back of your hand, to a being a mere memory.  It’s even harder when you run in the same social circles and are bound to bump into each other.  What are you to do with all those unresolved emotions/lack of closure?  I just find this a bit funny because two years later at SNL, Dianna is actually considered Taylor’s ‘inner circle’ at the afterparty.  

Drops- Jungle

When you’re so high, you When you fall from the sky, you So come down from the clouds Come down on me

I’ve been loving you too long

I’ve been loving you too long

This song sort of encapsulates the feeling of love that is intoxicating, one might even say addicting.  In that sense, I’m getting major Style vibes, in that they keep coming back to each other because of that high and intoxicated love.  More than anything, this verse reminds me of Clean, and of course Dianna’s infamous tweet, “withdrawals…clearly we had fun” (see Cam’s swiftgron masterpost/timeline for receipts).

Ritual Union- Little Dragon

Straight off the bat, this song gives off major infidelity vibes (something Taylor has been obsessed with as evidenced by Evermore, and of course Babe which btw had a lot of social media signalling/shenanginas happening in 2017/2018).  Perhaps Winston was the cuck after all and we did get a swiftgron hookup? 

Ritual union’s got me in trouble again I was wonderin’ of a white dress And the mistress And a spirit holding my hand!

You do the math with that one– ivy anyone?

Daniel- Bat For Lashes

Daniel when I first saw you I knew that you had a flame in your heart And under our blue skies Marble movie skies I found a home in your eyes We’ll never be apart

I only have two words to explain this verse– Begin Again

But in a goodbye bed With my arms around your neck Into our love the tears crept Just catch in the eye of the storm

With this verse in particular, there’s this sense of a heartbreaking parting of ways in a relationship.  It feels eerily similar to This Love– “your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave.”  There’s also a mention of a storm, and we all love a good old storm in the swiftgron universe (Clean, DBATC, CIWYW).

Can’t Do Without You- Caribou

I swear to god these are the only two lyrics

Can’t do without

I can’t do without you

Make of that what you will.

Touch- Shura

This was the song that had me fully convinced that swiftrgon might’ve hooked up again in the recent past.  It’s so fucking loud and I did audibly gasp when I read these lyrics.  I’m so tempted to post the entire song because honestly every lyric fits their narrative almost to a t, but I’ll try putting the loudest lyrics here.

There’s a love between us still But something’s changed and I don’t know why And all I wanna do is go home with you But I know I’m out of my mind

This love is good, this love is bad.  This slope is treacherous, I like it.  If the hookup did happen, it’s clear that it’s a bit hard to just pick up immediately from where you left off.  Of course there’s still a lot of love there, it just takes time for those years to melt away.

I wanna touch you but I’m too late I wanna touch you but there’s history I can’t believe that it’s been three years Now when I see you, it’s so bittersweet

Ok this is basically swiftgron’s story right here, I mean come on?!?

I’m running down a dream like Tom Petty, I’m a heartbreaker But then you changed up a relationship, I’m mostly bankrupt There’s a new kid on your block, I gotta hang tough

Cowboy like me anyone?

Yeah, the effect of touch hands is like a miracle How is it you’re halfway across the world when I’m still feeling you? Just a touch of my love, just a little bit Ain’t no love without trust, we gotta deal with this

Gives me treacherous and wonderland vibes– “I’ll do anything you say if you say it with your hands” and “you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had.”

iT- Christine and the Queens

I feel like this song gives off major Reputation vibes– controlling your narrative/ ridiculing what other people thought you were, etc. 

With it I become the death Dickinson feared With it I’m the red admiral on his ship And I raise with infants for my coronation I’ve ruled over my all my dead impersonations

‘Cause I’ve got it I’m a man now

Sunday Love- Bat For Lashes

This is a literal weekend hookup anthem (major tis the damn season vibes) and is also one of the other songs that convinced me of the swiftgron hookup.  Again, please look at all the lyrics and deduce for yourself and freak out like I did, but I’m putting the loudest lyrics down.

See her in blue eyes Numb and shining In the face of strangers In the city lights Where he’s climbing Cupid’s diving And I know that she’s come To spend the night

She is in my bedroom Now I can’t fight 

Blue eyed lady coming to your house to fuck you. Ok Dianna, real subtle with that. I’m joking but I snorted when I saw this lyric.

I see her in every place I go Sunday love is so cold Even though I’m falling apart I want Sunday love in my heart

You could call me babe for the weekend cause it’s the damn season.  Also “I see you everywhere the only thing we share is this small town.”

Sweet Talk- Jessie Ware

There’s never any doubts when i need you It’s just that you can always make me feel like I am slipping in way too deep And let the shadows hope to hide or break the dreaming, dreaming of us

The vibe of this song is that there’s someone who always pulls you in because they know exactly what to say.  They found wonderland and got lost in it. 

Dear To Me- Electric Guest

When it’s bad Feels like I don’t know which way I should go But over time I come back and remember The one thing that I know

You’re dear to me and I know 

I know I’ve tied so many songs to ttds, but I guess it’s all the more reason to claim that one for swiftgron nation?  This verse reminds me of  “the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you and my hometown.”

Got It Bad- Leisure

This song was added much later to the playlist on Taylor’s birthday in 2019. All other songs were added early feb of 2017.  With this song, I don’t get much except cowboy like me vibes.

Got our different ways with the same old payout Had our own dreams with the same old outcome Had a bad extreme and the same old break down Worked it to the bone with the same old habit

Et voila, that’s the end! I know this was super long so thanks for sticking through.  Again please note that these reaches were made because we are a little biased through a swiftgron lens.  It’s very possible that Dianna simply likes these songs and put it on a playlist, but let’s be real, gays practically communicate through spotify.  This is not fact and not proof for anyone to hound Dianna or invade in her or Taylor’s personal life, this is just for swiftgron fun.  That said, I’m personally inclined to believe that something did happen between Taylor and Dianna in 2017 possibly.  That’s all I have to say, thanks!

submission⬆️⬆️⬆️

ANON THIS WAS AMAZING YOU JUST MADE MY MORNING!!!

you should make a gaylor blog if you don’t have one already we NEED more of this content!

[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Manor-Dad lets me drive the Batmobile Chapter 6 Summary: The Batkids think Bruce is dating Batman ft. Jason being the best big brother ever to Tim AN: BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME. Yeah I updated!!!

Jason felt pretty shitty for the first week Tim was staying with them. He knew the sharp claws digging into his throat and head as well as nausea accompanied by them were all symptoms of jealousy trying to establish its place in Jason’s heart. He was sixteen for crying out loud. He should be above feeling jealous of a thirteen-year-old, who, most of the time, wasn’t even trying to get anyone’s attention. It was almost pitiful to witness Tim startling every time some addressed him because he wasn’t expecting anyone to really ask him about his day at dinner.

And yet Jason was hiding away in his room because he couldn’t stand Bruce paying attention to someone else like a spoiled little brat. He would have gone to the Cave, but Alfred had banned all of them from sulking in there. He figured it was only a question of time until Alfred got Batman to switch into civilian clothes and stay in the manor.

Groaning, Jason buried his head in his pillows.

Don’t be jealous of the new kid, don’t be jealous of the new kid, don’t be jealous of-

The door creaked.

“What’s up, Little Wing?”

Dick.

Right, it was Saturday morning. Of course Dick would be here.

“Nothing,” Jason replied, but even to his ears, his voice sounded wobbly.

Dick honored his horrible nickname and took Jason’s annoyance as an invitation. He let himself fall down onto Jason’s bed and stretched like a cat, taking up all the space. He stayed as silent as a bat while he waited for Jason to gather his courage. It was dumb, but when Dick wasn’t being a dick, he had this annoying quality that made you want to talk to him. He was good at giving advice that didn’t boil down to “money” or “batarangs” or random actually helpful bits about social cues. Jason knew he could trust his brother, he had kept his mouth shut about Sheila for months after all.

“I’m jealous,” Jason finally admitted. It was strange to say it out loud

Dick laughed. “Of my charming good looks? Don’t worry, you’ll get there.”

Jason rolled his eyes but cracked a small smile nevertheless.

“Not of that, Dickhead. And I’m already taller than you anyway.”

“Lies! Slander! How could you even just attempt to break my heart like that?”

Dramatically, Dick put his right arm to his forehead and closed his eyes, reminiscent of a shocked Victorian lady.

“Uhu, just consult the measurements on the kitchen entrance door. I’ve officially surpassed you.”

Even if Jason couldn’t really believe it. Leslie had estimated his height when he’d first gotten to the manor and back then it had seemed like he’d be lucky if he ever reached Dick’s height. Personally, Jason was blaming that alien plant fertilizer goo he’d gotten dosed with a couple months ago for his growth spurt, but he sure as hell wasn’t telling anyone that. Except for Alfred, in case he ended up growing flowers instead of hair.

“But no, I’m jealous of the kid.”

“Tim?” Dick asked.

His voice wasn’t judgmental or anything, but Jason still felt like apologizing.

Jason groaned and fell back on his bed. “I know! It’s stupid! But Bruce has been busy with him practically the whole week! I know it’s ‘cause they have to get his guardianship finalized and everything, but still. And he’s so smart too! Even Batman’s noticed! I lived in this house for weeks and I didn’t figure out the big batty secret, but the kid did it from a distance!”

“You know, I was pretty jealous too when you showed up.”

Jason definitely hadn’t known that. Honestly, Dick’s sunny attitude around Jason had almost freaked him out the first times he interacted with Dick.

“What?”

Dick shrugged easily.

“I mean, I wasn’t talking to Batman at all. And then there was you spending so much time down in the Cave with him. Of course, I was jealous. You were all cute and tiny and knew basically everything about Gotham already. I swear, I had to study boring maps for months and you already knew Gotham’s streets.”

“How did you deal with it?”

“I considered your situation and I tried to get to know you. Figure out your interests and stuff.”

Jason frowned.

“Wait. Was that the reason you went everywhere I wanted with me? Passive-aggressive exposure therapy in a mall?”

Dick grinned mischievously. “Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

X

Surprisingly, it didn’t take much to get Tim talking about himself. After reassuring him that, yes, Jason didn’t have anything more important to do and no, Bruce really was expecting Tim to decorate his room, Tim could not be stopped.

He talked.

So much.

About skateboarding, how much fun the keyboard was, his more challenging school classes, photography, Pokémon, his favorite comics, exciting facts he learned, the heroes conspiracy blog he was apparently running, and Robin.

Whenever they were alone, Tim would talk about Robin.

The sky was blue, the sun was hot, Timothy Jackson Drake didn’t shut up about Robin.

He got super excited and cheerful then, retelling Jason cases he had actually worked and wondering about how all the cool gadgets worked and just Robin.

Tim’s case of hero worship hadn’t gone unnoticed by the manor’s other residents either, but Jason wasn’t sure if Alfred or Bruce understood the way Tim talked about Robin. Like he was more than just a vigilante, like the role was a symbol.

“Batman needs Robin,” Tim said seriously. “It makes him better. I mean, Batgirl and Nightwing and Magpie, you’re all amazing! But it’s not Gotham without the Bat and his Robin, right?”

Tim looked unsure, but Jason realized the kid understood it.

And then Jason began to think.

X

Barbara couldn’t believe it took over a month for her to finally get to meet one Timothy Drake in person. She had researched him, even exchanged a few words with him over the comms once, but she had yet to actually meet the kid. Even Dick had met him, and he lived in Blüdhaven.

But Barbara had finally managed to clear enough time in her busy schedule – she was coordinating two vigilante teams and operating as Oracle after all – and driven up to the manor. If she used her time there to update the Bat-Computer as well, then that was only her business. She wasn’t a workaholic and she had a life outside of her duties when they allowed it.

She had the work-life-balance figured out, honestly.

Tim was a cute kid. A bit shy at first, but he warmed up to her quickly enough. Jason must have expected it because he was grinning when Tim started chattering about video games.

“So, what do you think?” Jason asked.

“He’s a good kid.”

“Aaaand?”

“You’re being awfully noisy. What do you want to know?”

“Batman talks to you about my training, doesn’t he? How much longer until I can go solo?”

Barbara leaned forward in her wheelchair. “What do you think?”

Jason deflated. “I don’t know. I feel like I’ve been ready for it for ages. I haven’t needed B’s back up in a long while, but imagining him being halfway across town is… unsettling still.”

Barbara nodded slowly before replying.

“Honestly? You’ve been ready for two months already at least. Batman just has a hard time letting go. He’s never really been without one of us for a very long time.”

“Right,” Jason said. “Which is why we can’t leave him alone.”

“What are you thinking?”

Jason pointed at Timothy, eagerly throwing batarangs at a target.

“He said that Gotham, that Batman, needs Robin. I’m thinking we should take advantage of the kid who already knows our secret and has a hard time falling asleep when we’re out.”

X

Bruce knew something was up, but he allowed himself to live in blissful ignorance a little longer. He let Dick sneak forensics lessons into Tim’s self-defense classes, allowed Jason to teach Tim about the various gangs ruling Gotham.

It wasn’t like these bits of information weren’t useful, the every-day citizen just didn’t particularly need them.

And Bruce definitely wasn’t thinking about who did need this knowledge and more.

Tim Drake was his ward for as long as his parents weren’t in Gotham. Nothing more and nothing less.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Bruce could see Alfred observing him while the kids (“I’m a twenty-year-old woman, B.” “And I remember babysitting you as a teenager, your point?”) bickered about some movie.

Ignorance was bliss, that was a lesson Bruce had learned early on. And sometimes you were allowed to indulge in it.

X

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Tim asked from where he was sitting on Jason’s bed.

“Absolutely,” Jason replied, grinning way too cheerfully for six in the morning. He’d only gotten back from patrol two hours ago, he shouldn’t be so awake yet, or so Tim thought, yet Jason looked like he could take on the world.

“But we’re breaking one of The Rules.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. They’re more like guidelines than rules. Besides, Aunty Diana and Kate already agreed to help us. This is a surefire plan.”

Tim honestly wasn’t so sure about it. He wanted to trust Jason, but what if Bruce and Batman didn’t think it was funny to be tricked into a date?

“But-“

“Jason’s right, Tim,” Barbara’s voice echoed from the laptop sitting on Jason’s desk. “Besides, the worst that will happen is that you get grounded because Bruce and B are caught up in the romantic bliss that was relaxing on Valentine’s Day in Paris.”

“That’s right!” Jason said. “We’re setting up dates for them at least twice a year if we can. It would be suspicious if we didn’t try to get them away.”

Tim pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. “If you say so… I still don’t get why we need both of them out of Gotham for so long. Can’t they stay here?”

“I do say so, Timbit. Just you wait, they won’t know what hit them. And if they stay here, they’d just take their paperwork to bed.”

“Eeww.”

X

Bruce absolutely knew what hit him. Diana and Kate were good actors, they had to be if they even just wanted to operate as vigilantes, but they didn’t even bother to hide it from him.

“It’s cute,” Diana said. “How much they try to make their parents happy.”

“Very funny. What if something actually happens, though?”

“Then your Super-Bro will pick you up from Paris,” Kate replied. “And ten years ago you were working alone. Now you’ve got me and Dick and Jason and Babs to look over Gotham. We got this.”

Her words would have been more encouraging if they weren’t followed up by her narrowly avoiding a brick being thrown at her.

Nevertheless, he still pretended to buy WE having an emergency in their Paris branch and one of Gotham’s smuggler rings operating from Paris as well.

The kids’ happy expressions were worth it.

X

Dick felt maybe a little guilty for lying to Tim. It was true, they tried to give Bruce and Batman some alone time once in a while and Valentine’s day was perfect for it. This time though, they needed the two men away so they could properly get to Tim.

Truth be told, he’d been skeptical when Barbara and Jason had pitched the idea to him. Training Tim and giving him a home was one thing, bringing him into the active side of the vigilante life a whole other deal.

The longer he watched Tim though, the more could he see it. The teenager was smart, dedicated, skilled and – like Jason had said – he knew what Robin meant.

Though, seeing him be questioned about the law, recent gang activity, weapons, the Justice League, and various Gotham residing companies by Babs all while sparing with Jason, made Dick pity Tim.

Dick’s Robin training had been way more relaxed, but he also hadn’t had three older siblings.

X

If not for the fact that Jason had made Tim’s favorite smoothie for him, Tim would assume the older boy was trying to murder him. It was day three of their spontaneous ‘sibling-bonding weekend’ and Tim was pretty sure his whole body was dying. He had never had to think or work out this much. He was sore all over. The training mats he was lying on were becoming his favorite spot to be, right after his bathtub and his bed.

“And how do you feel?” Dick asked.

“Like Superman decided I was a threat and went several rounds in the ring with me because I couldn’t recall that the Kryptonite is locked with a special key, and three different locks behind the secret entrance-“

“Woah, woah, Timbit,” Jason interrupted. “That’s enough trivia. Didn’t think you could learn this much in three days.”

“Mhm,” Barbara muttered from the desk of the Bat-Computer. “You own me fifty bucks.”

Tim frowned. “Wait. You bet on this?”

“Oooh, yeah. This has been two months in the making?” Dick glanced at Jason, who nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah, putting together a time table for three days wasn’t fun, I tell you, but the results are pretty amazing.”

Jason smiled and dropped down on the mats right next to Tim to mess up his sweaty hair.

“Urgh, gross,” he cursed and rubbed his hands on his sweat pants.

“But- why did you do this?”

The three heroes in front of Tim shared a look and Tim got the distinct impression that he was missing a big piece labeled ‘context’ in bright neon colors here.

“Your parents will be back in a few hours,” Barbara said.

(Tim wondered what it meant that his first instinct wasn’t to think about his own parents but-)

“I guess that means it’s time,” Dick said and walked over to the display cases in which the various Robin uniforms were kept. From in-between them, he pulled forward a small gift-wrapped box.

“Catch!” He shouted and threw it in Tim’s direction.

Heart beating fast, Tim jumped up to catch it. The package wasn’t bigger than his palm and surrounded by Christmas themed paper.

“Christmas? Really?” Jason snorted, but Dick just shrugged.

“Didn’t have anything better at home. Go on, Tim, open it. If you want it, it’s yours.”

Carefully, Tim unwrapped the gift, revealing a cardboard box. He could feel the others’ stares on him but didn’t dare look up. They had put a lot of thought into this and spend so much time with him. He couldn’t disappoint them.

Tim opened the box and came face to face with a shiny black and gold emblem.

“What…?”

“You said it yourself,” Jason said. “Batman needs a Robin and I’m not putting on the green tights again.”

“What Jason means,” Dick added, “is that we really can’t be responsible for Batman running around without a talented little pipsqueak cracking masterful puns. So if you want to be Robin, you have our blessings. You only need to convince the other two overprotective idiots of this house.”

It took all of Tim’s strength not to burst into tears right then and there. He was thankful though that Jason and Dick dragged him over to Babs for a group hug. 

X

Bruce didn’t even know why he had assumed it would end differently. Tim had been skittish the whole week and Bruce had watched the Cave’s security tapes, just to make sure they hadn’t tried to hide an explosion from him again.

“I‘m fairly skilled in a multitude of martial arts now,“ Tim began his speech.

“No,” Batman replied.

At the other end of the Cave, Nightwing and Magpie were supposed to be sparring, but they couldn’t be listening in more obviously.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

Tim pouted.

“You’re not becoming Robin, Tim.”

Tim crossed his arms and held his chin high. Batman recognized that stance instantly, he did it fairly often himself. Maybe Clark had been right when he said that it was freaky to work alongside his kids because they all had the same body language during missions.

“I already talked to Bruce and he said that Batman needs a Robin.”

Honestly, what was it with his children lying to him?

Nevertheless, Bruce couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Did he really?”

And Tim had the audacity to nod, all serious like he wasn’t lying straight to Bruce’s face. His poker face was pretty already, not too many cracks in the mask. The kids had done an excellent job training and it would be a shame if that training went to waste.

So, Bruce really couldn’t argue against Tim, could he?

[btsybrkr]

What A Time To Be At Home!: The Best And Worst Coronacontent The Internet Has To Offer

Remember that joke that’s been around for ages, but was being told literally everywhere back in 2019? The one that went something like, “I hate it when people ask me where I’ll be in a year’s time - I don’t have 2020 vision!”?

Well, I bloody wish someone did.

In fact, in early January, I wrote out my own predictions for the decade ahead right here on my blog. They were obviously entirely hypothetical and - I thought - ridiculous. They were just a series of daft ideas that I thought I could take the piss out of, in the hope that people might read it and take a second out of their day to do an amused little nose exhale for me. But now, even the post-apocalyptic TV show ideas I pitched in that piece seem less ‘far-off dystopian chaos’, and more like they could be pleasant additions to the BBC Summer schedule.

The world is in the throes of a global pandemic, the likes of which haven’t been seen since… I don’t know, The Black Plague, maybe? As a result of that, the instructions have been clear: stay home, save lives. 

At first, the thought of being given a period of Government-sanctioned laziness seemed like a dream to many. We could write our autobiographies! Learn Klingon! Build ourselves a whole new house! But six weeks in, it appears to have started messing with the collective consciousness of the human race. Brains are fried, your Weekly Screen Time is up 103%, stomachs are full to the brim with banana bread and dalgona coffee, and certain celebrities’ egos are in a fight to the death with their common sense. In a time when we’re all supposedly doing nothing, there’s still so much going on. 

With that in mind, I thought we could recognise some of the things we’ve seen online that have kept us talking in lockdown, not just because of Coronavirus, but in spite of it. 

Welcome to the first (but hopefully not annual) What A Time To Be At Home! awards. The WATTBAH!’s, if you like.

The ‘Why On Earth Did You Think This Was A Good Idea?’ Award

Over the last few weeks, we’ve seen a sizable handful of blunders by the rich and famous that have, at worst, knocked them down a fair few places in our estimations and, at best, have left us scratching our heads, wondering what response they were expecting in the first place. 

With that in mind, it’s only right that this title goes to the original celebrity lockdown mistake: Gal Gadot’s ill-advised acapella cover of Imagine, featuring a variety of different Hollywood stars - not one of whom had the foresight to ask “are you sure this doesn’t make us look like complete arseholes?”, which, unfortunately, it absolutely does. 

Between the bizarre and insincere ‘I have a dream’-style speech at the beginning, the boldness of some of those featured to be quite clearly just taking the piss, and the fact everyone appears to be singing ever-so-slightly below the note without ever actually hitting it for the entirety of the song, this was tone-deaf in more ways than one. It’s even worse when you realise that this was posted less than one week into the lockdown, but then what would I know? Maybe madness sets in faster in multi-million dollar mansions. Probably because it echoes louder and bounces off the walls of your massive living room.

The ‘I Had To Suffer Through This, So You Do, Too’ Award

This award recognises content we’ve been witness to over the last few weeks that was so awful, so completely uncomfortable to watch, that after you’d gotten over the initial disbelief at what you’d just seen, you immediately had to send it to somebody you know, so that you can suffer through it together.

Despite how many celebrity lockdown moments have left me with my head in my hands over the last few weeks, this award could only go to a very recent contender - one which isn’t simply an embarrassing piece of celebrity lockdown content, but will likely haunt the inner corners of my brain long after this virus is simply a topic taught about in GCSE History lessons of the future. 

I am, of course, talking about Olly Murs. I’m talking about Pringlegate. I’m talking about Olly Murs removing the bottom of a can of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles to trick his own girlfriend into touching his penis. On video, on TikTok.

Twitter: @buckyw1ng

There’s something inherently quite chilling about Pringlegate. It might be something to do with the 10,000 watt grin on Olly’s face as we watch him carefully maneuver a tin opener around the bottom of the can, or perhaps it’s just the question of how long he’d been sat there holding it around his naked penis as he and his girlfriend watched a film, patiently waiting for the moment to strike. Perhaps it’s the way the video freezes as she reaches over for a Pringle, allowing time for Olly Murs’ to add in an audio clip of himself, shouting “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND”. 

Maybe it’s the uncontrollable show of amusement he launches into as she snatches her hand back in shock, laughing away, heartily, as if to say “Ha! You thought it was a normal can of Pringles, but it was actually my PENIS covered in Pringles crumbs! You just got PUNKED!”, like it was all simply a clever ruse. 

Above all else, I think the most uncomfortable thing about it is that I can’t help but feel like all bets are off in 2020, and that this is a fairly tame warm-up for things to come.

So, Olly Murs, you are inarguably the rightful winner of the ‘I Had To Suffer Through This, So You Do, Too’ award. Congratulations! Don’t do it again, yeah?

The ‘Are You Actually Aware Of These Words Coming Out Of Your Mouth?’ Award

I’ve said some stupid things since this lockdown started. Personally, I put it down to the lack of social interaction, which I think might be frying my brain a little bit, or at least that’s what the ornament of a turkey that sits on my kitchen windowsill told me the other day. However, I don’t think I or anybody I know has said anything even one fraction-of-an-iota as void of intelligent thought as Vanessa Hudgens’ terrible opinions on social distancing, shared in a now-infamous Instagram live last month. 

“It’s a virus,” she clarified, helpfully, before going on to explain, “I get it. I respect it.” 

I’m sure your respect means the world to it, Vanessa, but do you ‘get’ it?

“But even if everybody gets it, like… yeah… people are gonna die,” she explains, in a tone so chirpy that the word ‘die’ might as well be replaced by the phrase ‘have such a bloody lovely old time’, “which is terrible, but, like… inevitable?” 

In all fairness, death is inevitable, but I don’t know if suggesting speeding up that process for thousands of people because you were disappointed that Coachella was cancelled is an equally logical take.

After a brief - and probably quite profound - moment of self-reflection, she laughs “I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this right now”. Oh, you think? Which bit? Just holding these insane ideas, or actually broadcasting them to your 39.1 million Instagram followers? 

She did post a video the day after, clarifying that - despite what she said - she is staying at home, and is urging others to do the same. I guess she does respect the virus after all. Now, if everyone could hurry up, catch it and die from it, so that she can go to Coachella 2021, Vanessa Hudgens might respect you, too. 

I guess We’re All In This Together, after all.

The Show Of Support Award

I’ve already talked a lot about the rich and famous here, so maybe it’s time to take a break from that madness - although, I get it, I respect it - and have a look at how the rest of our lives look at the moment.

One weekly occurrence that seems to be set to stick around is the weekly round of applause for the NHS. Whilst it’s nothing short of blood-boilingly annoying seeing Boris Johnson absent-mindedly clapping in celebration of a service that he recently admitted he hadn’t even noticed the strain on until he, himself, nearly died of the virus, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the rest of us getting involved. If anything, it’s heart-warming to see the videos of NHS staff being applauded by neighbours as they leave for work, and to hear the cheers echoing through the streets at 8pm every Thursday. There’s a lot of people being quite cynical about it. We obviously know it’s not going to stop Coronavirus in its tracks, but sometimes it’s just nice to be nice, alright?

One thing I’ve noticed recently is how many people have adopted different noise-making strategies, possibly in an effort to effectively boost their support by a factor of 300%. Banging pots and pans together appears to be the most popular, but the winner of this award saw your pots and pans and said “how sweet”, before showing us how it’s really done.

I present to you, a genius. The ultimate hype-man.

Twitter: “a deeply disturbed national psyche” - @willuminare

There’s something so chaotic and angry about the energy in this video, just one man, a cricket bat, and a wheelie bin, banging away to show his gratitude. Just living in the moment. I wish the neighbour who’d captured it on camera had caught more of it, or at least just enough to edit the footage with Electric Youth’s soaring synth anthem  ‘A Real Hero’ from the soundtrack of the movie Drive against it.

I’ve been trying to learn to play the keytar in lockdown, to near enough no avail. Maybe at 8pm next Thursday, I’ll just take it outside and smash it against the pavement. You know, for the NHS.

Honourable Mentions: The Very Best In Coronacontent

It’s not all been so questionable - there’s been a lot of uplifting, funny, positive and thoughtful things shared online over the past few weeks. John Krasinski’s YouTube series Some Good News has provided a much-appreciated contrast from the bleakness of traditional current affairs programmes. There’s five weeks worth of episodes on his YouTube channel at the moment, so I would definitely recommend checking it out, especially if you feel like you need a lift! 

Over on Twitter, there’s been a lot to laugh about, as ‘front camera comedians’ are well and truly in their element (my personal favourite recently has been Alistair Green), as well as plenty of other users who are utilising their free time to create some brilliant stuff - this six-part opera based on a 2007 Facebook argument by Archie Henderson is genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve seen in weeks.

Twitter: “I made a six-act opera out of a conversation between some 14 year olds on my Facebook from 2007″ - @jazzemu_

All in all, these are obviously bizarre times that we’re living in. We don’t know how many more weeks of lockdown we’re going to have, when we’ll get back to normal, or even if ‘normal’ will mean something completely different from now on. 

What we do know is that the internet, and everyone on it - whoever they are or whatever they’re saying - will continue to surprise us, inform us, entertain us, provide a place for our quizzes and conversations, and keep us together in some sense, when we have no choice but to be apart. 

Thanks to anyone who’s read this far. I hope that you and your friends and families are keeping well, and that you took even a slight shred of lockdown enjoyment from even one thing I’ve said over the past couple thousand words! 

Finally, before I go, I thought we might share a little song. It goes like this:

Imagine there’s no heaven....

if you like, can follow me on twitter here or instagram here :-)

[ilovemygaydad]

Dance, Dance

Part Five: The Sound of Music

Based off this post that you really need to read for context!

Pairings: Analogical and Royality (past sleeplogical)

Characters: Virgil, Patton, Logan, Roman, Sleep/Remy, Deceit/Dominic, October/Toby, September/Ember

Warnings: domestic abuse, swearing, sexual humor, crude comments, bullying, making out, abusive deceit, mentions of vomiting (just one word), step parents, food mentions, rejection, logan’s kind of an asshole to virgil, and possibly something else

A/N: a few people asked me about dominic using both she/her and he/him pronouns, and the explanation is that it’s just me fucking things up. like, that’s it. you can hc him however you want, idc, but I’m just stupid. also, chris is from Sleep is for the Weak

Masterlist | Ask Blog | READ ON AO3

Tags: @adultmorelikeadolt @disneyfanatic77 @logan-smarter-than-you-sanders​ @punsterterry​ @mycatshuman @fluidityandgiggles​ @sadpunkrat @theunoriginaldaisy​

Logan had been buzzing with anticipation all weekend over who his mystery guy could be, and he could tell that it was getting on Roman’s nerves no matter how much he claimed to be a sucker for a good romance, but it was just… He was absolutely captivated, and the only clue that he had towards the identity of his mystery man was an iPod. That in and of itself should be a huge clue because, honestly, who had an iPod in 2018, but that was just it. Who even had an iPod? Not a single person that he could think of.

With that dead-end in mind, Logan turned to yearbooks. He knew that there was a possibility that he had danced with a freshman or sophomore, but he obviously didn’t have access to yearbooks from the previous year, so he had to rely on his own freshman and sophomore yearbooks. Those, too, came up with a dead-end. He found someone close--Patton King--who, in sophomore year, had dyed his full head bright blue, but the bouncy curls were completely different to the light waves in the hair of whomever he had danced with.

Logan had begrudgingly told Roman that they would have to take this search more public. Sure, there were mysteries that Logan simply wouldn’t be able to solve, but this one was so much more complicated than he had originally thought, and he was certainly going to need help.

“Hey, um, Mx. Elliott…”

“Oh, Logan! Welcome back to school--though, I’m a bit hurt that it took you this long to come and visit me.”

Logan blushed a bit. He felt bad about not visiting, but there were only so many hours in the day where he had time off. “I’m so sorry, Mx. I promise that I’ll stop here more often.” There was an awkward pause as Logan thought of what to say next. “So… How is Mitchell doing?”

“Oh. I broke up with him for good. I took yours and Joan’s advice, and I kicked him out of my apartment about six weeks ago.” They fiddled a bit with the sleeve of their sweater uncomfortably. For years, Elliott had been a good friend of Logan’s, but they were dating this awful guy named Mitchell for just as long. Elliott’s self esteem was ripped to shreds time and time again, and they had a hard time listening to their cousin, Joan, and Logan’s advice.

“I’m very proud of you for doing that. I’m sure that it took a lot of strength, and I’m glad that you’ve gotten your life back into your own hands.” Logan paused and held out the iPod. “However, I didn’t come here merely to talk pleasantries. I need to find someone. I danced with him at the ball, and he dropped this, and--”

Elliott smirked. “And you fell in love?”

“What? No! No, of course not.” Tick. “Well…” Tock. “Maybe…” Tick. “But it’s none of your business!”

“You literally came here for my assistance, Logan. It is by definition my business now.”

“Hush! Just--Roman--PA!” Logan pushed Roman, who had been standing there silently, at the PA system to make the announcement.

And, in normal Roman fashion, it was ridiculously extra. “Ladies, lords, and non-binary royalty, The Prince is on the mic to ask you all formally if you have seen a handsome lad who ditched my best friend Logie--”

“Logie?!”

Roman covered the microphone with his hand as he hissed, “Logan didn’t rhyme there!”

“Shut up and hand over the mic,” Logan growled as he pushed Roman out of the chair and sat down. “Hello. It’s me, Logan Parker.” He took a deep, calming breath. “On Saturday, I danced with one of the most amazing people. You left in a hurry, and you ended up dropping your iPod on the ground. In all honesty, it was the best night of my life, and I want to give you back your iPod, so… if you are able to name the top four songs on your playlist, I’ll return the iPod to you. And maybe we can get coffee or something. Roman and I will be sitting in the center of the cafeteria at lunch so that we can find you.” He unclicked the on button of the PA, and sat back.

“You Gucci, Specs?” Roman asked.

“Yeah. I think so. This should be easy.”

“Okay, Chris. Go.” Logan felt every ounce of his soul drain from his body as his eyes flicked over to the dozens of students lined up to try and prove that they were his mystery guy.

“‘Livin’ la Vida Loca,’ ‘Maria,’ ‘She Bangs,’ and ‘Shake Your Bon-Bon.’ All by Ricky Martin.”

Logan swiped at a puddle of tears that had been left on the lunchroom table with his hand. “Sorry, but that isn’t it.”

The boy stormed off, and Logan let his head fall into his hands. This was a disaster. Logan mentally kicked himself for not being able to recognize who he was looking for right off the bat. He was such an idio--

“Hey, Lo. Do you want me to go around the line and kick out the excesses?” Roman whispered gently.

“God, please do.” Logan looked up; he felt like he was going to cry. “They’re all the same cookie-cutter Hollywood guys, Ro. That guy from the ball was special, but… what if I can’t find him?”

“Are you kidding? You are the Logan Parker! I have no doubt in my mind that we’ll find him.” He smiled. “I think he helped pull you out of your slump. There’s no way I’m letting a guy like that go.”

“Thanks, Roman.”

“Hey, what else is a prince for?”

Virgil shivered as he felt cold water drip down the back of his neck, no doubt staining it with streaks of purple. He had been unlucky enough to fall asleep during his second block class, and one of his asshole classmates got their hands on some glitter glue and wrote transphobic slurs in his hair. It was pretty standard for shit like that to happen, but Virgil had only dyed his hair again yesterday to it’s full purple potential, so it sucked that he had to wash it again. And Patton was pissed. That was pretty normal, too.

“If that teacher had known any better, she would have reported that guy for harassment!”

“Pat, just leave it. She was doing what would protect me from the wrath of administration. If she had reported him, she would have had to explain why I didn’t stop him, which would have gotten me in trouble, and I probably would have been taken out of school by Dominic. I’m already on thin enough ice. Mrs. Larsen was helping me.” Virgil began to ascend the cafeteria stairs, slipping around people who were stationed on the sides.

“That’s still such bullsh--”

Virgil pulled Patton to the side of the stairs with enough force to dislocate a shoulder. “Shut the fuck up for a second and look.”

“Holy--”

“I didn’t think he’d actually do it!” A dozen yards away sat the longest line of people that Virgil had ever seen outside of a Black Friday sale at the Gucci store in Los Angeles. And there was Logan at the head. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Virge, you’ve gotta go down there and tell him before someone starts a riot!”

“No!” Virgil turned to Patton. “No way.”

Patton wildly gestured at Logan. “He said that it was the best night of his life.”

“Yeah. Until he finds out that it was me.” He threw another glance at Logan. “Let’s just go.”

Virgil and Patton continued to their classes, but underneath the stairs, Toby and Ember had heard everything.

The second that Virgil entered the house, Toby and Ember were there to intercept him.

“Look at you, acting all innocent!” Toby snarled. Virgil needed to know that they weren’t going to let him steal Logan away.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Virgil looked confused and tried to evade the twins.

“Oh,” Ember said, gripping Virgil’s arm tightly. “We know it was you at the ball with Logan.”

There was a short pause before Virgil said, “You guys are crazy.”

“No, actually, you’re the crazy one if you think that we’re going to let you end up with Logan, you weird stalker!”

“And if you tell him that it was you,” Toby interjected, waving one of the copies of Virgil’s video in the air. “Your video will be everywhere. Hello, YouTube!”

Virgil scoffed. “You guys can barely work the toaster, let alone YouTube.”

“Try us.”

Ember pushed Virgil away. “Go make dinner. We’re hungry.”

Virgil stared at the twins for a few moments and walked away. Toby turned and went to the door.

“Hey, Toby, where’re you going?”

Toby froze. “None of your business, Ember! I mean, uh, nowhere. For a walk… Uh, outside.”

“Oh. Okay, bye!”

“Yeah, bye.” Toby slipped out the front door and went straight to Virgil’s room. “Playlist. I need to find that playlist.”

Clothes, pencils, notebooks, and everything in between was scattered through Virgil’s room as Toby searched. For twenty minutes, he found nothing, until…

“Aha! Hidden in plain sight, of course!” He lifted up a pillow and found an old Macbook. Without a second of hesitation, he opened it up and went to iTunes. “Okay… ‘Dying in LA,’ ‘Save Rock and Roll,’ ‘Freeze Your Brain,’ ‘Defying Gravity,’ and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’ Perfect!” He scribbled the titles onto the back of his right hand and went to make his leave, but the door swung open right as he was about to open it, and he was flung into the wall.

Ember sauntered into the room and gasped when he saw the laptop. He picked it up to find the songs, but it tumbled right out of his hands and onto the floor. It was obvious from the loud cracking sound that the laptop wasn’t going to be useable anymore.

“Can you give me a hint as to what genre the songs are?” Chris asked, pressing closer to Roman and Logan. “Are they emo? Metal? Electroclash? Latin pop???”

“Okay, everyone! Disperse yourselves.” Roman hopped up from his seat at the table to usher people away. “Come back… after class or something. Logan’s going to take a break.”

Logan slumped in his seat and waited for Roman to return to speak. “I’m never going to find him. This is hopeless.”

“Hold up. What is this illogical garbage that I’m hearing from you, Logan?” Roman looked more offended than usual.

“It’s not illogical, though.” It was more of a question than a statement.

“It most certainly is! Say there’s an equal fifty-fifty distribution of males and females at our school--excluding the lovely non-binaries, which would make up around 1% of our school, probably. That means that there are about 750 males at our school currently. Sure, the odds don’t seem great, but there’s a chance. Therefore, Logan, we must keep hope that you will find your prince.” Roman smirked. “Logical enough for you, Specs?”

Logan smiled a bit. “Go away.”

“Nah. I’d never ditch my best friend, Lo--”

“Logan Parker!”

“Toby,” Roman sighed, standing up to escort the twin away. “Dude, Logan is on a break. Please come back during business hours, or you can send a letter that will be processed in five to seven business days.”

“Oh, of course. I’m actually in the mood for a prince…” Toby flirtatiously traced his finger on Roman’s collar.

“Are you serious?”

“No! Get out of my way!” Roman was flung backwards with a surprising amount of force, and Logan was only able to stare at his best friend as Toby approached. “I’m The One, Logan!”

Logan didn’t even have the energy to muster a laugh. “Yeah, right.”

“I can prove it. I know all of the songs on the playlist.”

“Of course. Do go on.”

Toby smiled a dazzling smile. Well, dazzling in the blinding way with his bright orange, sparkly braces bands. “‘Dying in LA,’ ‘Save Rock and Roll,’ ‘Freeze Your Brain,’ ‘Defying Gravity,’ and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody!’”

Roman rejoined Logan and whispered, “This is impossible. Right?”

“Ha! I’m right! Kiss me!” Toby surged forward, and Logan almost fell backwards trying to evade him.

“Woah, holy--wait!” Logan held Toby at arm’s length. “You’ve got to dance first.”

“What?!” Toby spluttered. “But--I already told you the songs! That’s all you asked. And I’m not warmed up, and there’s no music!”

Roman sighed dramatically, hanging off of Logan. “Logan, darling, he’s obviously not the one you’re looking for. I mean, he can’t even dance for you.”

“Oh, you’re right!” Logan swerved around Toby. “Well, see ya!”

“No, wait!” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and spun him back to the table. “I love to dance!”

Logan watched in horror-filled awe as Toby started to “dance” in harsh, seizing motions. In all honesty, he hadn’t expected anything like that. Roman, completely unfazed, decided that it was time to leave, and he dragged Logan away as Toby continued to dance.

Logan was tired. He was really fucking tired of having being, well… for being Logan Parker. It honestly just sucked to be famous. Which sounded stupid and pretentious, but it was true. People fawned over him, and he just wanted some coffee, but there was only shitty canned espresso in an overpriced vending machine, so here he was. In a random hallway getting coffee. He jabbed at the coffee button and leaned down to grab the can. As he stood up, he came face to face with Ember standing in what he could only construe as a seductive position against the vending machine.

“Woah, okay, Ember…”

“Ready to meet your mystery guy, Logan?”

“You know the songs, too? God, can I just catch a break?” Logan ran a hand through his hair and started to walk away, but Ember tugged him back.

What is with these twins and tugging people around?

“But I’m the real freaking one! And I freaking love you, so you’d better freaking love me back, you freaking freak!” Ember yelled. Logan blinked a few times at the outburst.

“Way, way, way deep inside, I’m sure that you’re a… decent person, Ember, but I’ve really got to go--”

“I can prove it!” He threw his backpack on the ground with a dull plop. “Through dance!”

Before Ember could even get very far into his equally as awful dance, Logan ditched the scene, eager to find Roman to get out of the school for his off period.

“Oh my god, Virge. I can’t believe the twins would hold that video against you! You were literally eleven.”

Virgil ate another spoonful of frosting from the tub that Patton had bought him, glaring out the windshield at nothing in particular. “What do I do? I don’t want Logan to think that I’m a fucking stalker! Not to mention the fact that he obviously doesn’t remember me from pre-transition, so he’d find out about that, too. People like me don’t belong with people like him.”

“Look,” Patton said seriously; although, the off-kilter blue bow in his hair made it a little difficult to actually take him seriously. “You and Logan clicked out there on the dancefloor. You have to talk to him.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh--oh, look!” Patton pointed out the window at Roman and Logan passing by. “It’s showtime, Virgil! You’ve got this.”

“Yeah! I can do this.” Virgil reached over to open the door, but he whipped around again. “Wait, you know what? Let’s get some food first.”

“Yeah, no,” Patton deadpanned.

“Fuck, fine!” Virgil rushed out of the van before he chickened out and walked over to Logan’s car. “Hey, Logan. I need to tell you something really important.”

“Oh!” Logan smiled charmingly, and damn this stupid crush that Virgil had. “Hello. You work for Dominic, correct?”

“What? No! That’s not what--”

Roman, from the other side of the car, giggled. “You had shrimp in your hair.”

Virgil glared at him. “Well, I mean… Yeah, that was me, but that isn’t what I wanted to say.” He took a deep breath. “I’m--”

“Oh my god!” Logan threw his hands in the air in frustration. “Seriously? Dominic is relentless. First Toby, then Ember, and now you, too?” He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “Just… I’m looking for someone, okay? I don’t have time to talk. Especially not about that stupid duet. I’ve gotta go… It was nice seeing you.”

Roman and Logan sat in their seats, and Virgil took a few steps back as they pulled out. He watched them for a few seconds before racing back to Patton’s van. Without hesitation, he whipped open the door and grabbed his back and skateboard from the floor.

“I told you, Pat.”

“Oh my god, he blew you off!”

Virgil sighed and backed away a bit. “Whatever.” He slammed the door shut and skated off, ignoring the tears that fell down his cheeks.

Part Six

[five-hour-anxiety]

CREEPY HAUNTED HOUSE TOUR: DON'T FOLLOW US IN 👻💀👽😦😈 | The Theory of Real-Activity | LOGAN FOUND A BODY YOU GUYS

@zerogettie  @spacevirgil  @tree4life25 @thebiggestnaturaldisaster@pailettehazel @jordandobbertin @thecityofthefireflies @the-fabulous-kimball @azuranightsong @virmillion @erlenmeyertrash @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch  @the-sanders-sides @punch-you-with-friendship @captaincantatrice @clovenpinetree @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @aplaceinthevoid @zennyo

Word Count: 4500

Warnings: panic attacks, arguments, haunted houses, talk of demons

Pairing: platonic analogical

Summary: Logan and Virgil run a vlog together, and have decided to film in a haunted house.

“Virgil, for the last time, ghosts aren’t real.”

“Yes, I know that! You know that! Roman and Patton don’t, though, so we need to go ‘ghost hunting’ to prove it once and for all!”

 “I understand where you are coming from, but do we really need to do this? There must be a better approach to the issue – one that will not cost as much and save us the tour of a condemned building.”

 “Oh, that’s hilarious – you think I want to step foot in there? My anxiety is spiked at the thought of what could go wrong on the way out there, much less once we actually go in.” Virgil sighed and ran his hands down his face. His grape colored bangs fell back into place, and he blew on them in an annoyed manner. “Unfortunately, Roman has access to our Twitter and already made a poll.”

  “You mean to tell me-”

 “Yep. The people want a ghost busting episode.”

 “Why on Earth did I give him the password for the account? What was I thinking?” Logan brought his tie up to his mouth, and Virgil strained to hear the muffled curses over the mouthful of cotton.

“Roman basically just challenged you to a giant game of chicken – a public one, and are you really gonna let him win that easy?”

 “Grammar, Virgil, but you have a point. I cannot let that day-dreaming ditz best me. Clear your weekend schedule, we are going on a… what did you call it? Spirit pursuit?”

 “Okay, first – I have no weekend plans as that would require having more than three friends, and two – it’s a ghost hunt so unless you want me to meme the shit out of you again, never call this a spirit pursuit again.”

 “Oh, please, our audience does not need another joke – it’s bad enough you got everyone and their cousin to call the video blog ‘The Theory of Real-Activity” instead of its official name.”

  “Look, that’s better than ‘VirgeofDiscovery’, and it’s a vlog Logan stop trying to sound smart for once in your life.”

***

“I think that I saw this on Buzzfeed Unsolved, once. Just put the flashlight down and ask… something… to turn it on.”

“You know this won’t work, right?” The camera’s mic picks up Logan, who was exploring another room. “And it’s Buzzfeed, why were you watching that garbage?”

“Because I love Shane Madej, the only perfect human.” The camera swings upward so that we see Virgil’s face, and he points at the lens. “You can all quote me on that – make sure he knows that Virge from The Theory of Real-Activity loves his work.”

“Oh my God, Virgil, are you using our video blog in a sad attempt to get your internet crush to notice you?”

 “I-No! It’s a squish! And stop calling it a video blog!”

“If I were as childish as Patton, I would begin to sing one of those schoolyard chants about you and Mr. Madej sitting in a tree.”

“Well, gee, thanks for-”

“I am going to rap it instead.”

 “LOGAN, I SWEAR TO GOD.”

“Virgil and Shane, sitting in-” The camera stops recording.

***

 “Alright, do we have everything we need? My bag has a portable charger, extra batteries, and some water bottles as well as the camera I plan to use.”

“I have the salt.”

 “Virgil, didn’t we agree that ghosts aren’t real?”

 “Yes, but you can never be too safe. Besides – Patton wouldn’t let me leave without it, so now we have a pound of salt.” Virgil shook it around and shimmied. Logan groaned, and reached for the other’s bag, looking to see if anything else was in there.

 “Oh, I see you have a first aid kit – that’s a good addition. You also have the snacks, flashlights, and a camera but I don’t see your stress ball? Are you sure you wish to go without?”

“No worries, man, I got it in the car.”

“Why is it in your car?”

 “Roman had to drive me to my therapy session, and the chariot-”

 “You mean that disgusting minivan?”

 “Yeah, the chariot. Anyway, I have it in there because Roman was driving.”

Logan frowned at the thought, knowing that the man often bragged about having a lead foot while driving. Virgil just shrugged and hoisted his bag over his shoulder, shaking the salt container as he went out the door.

 “Hey, we both made it to the office in one piece, it’s all good. Moving on, we should probably do the intro before we leave the house. Get at least one shot with decent lighting.”

“Ah, yes, that is a good idea – do you wish to hold the camera or should I?” Logan locked the door behind him, making sure the spare key hadn’t been moved in case he misplaced his set.

“I’ll film, whenever you try to do anything in selfie mode you trim off half our heads.” Virgil threw his bag in the trunk and moved over to the passenger side door.

 “Why is it whenever we go anywhere in i car you refuse to drive, Virgil?”

 “If you didn’t leave your car at the university this weekend, we would’ve taken yours. And driving makes me anxious.”

 “Then why do you own a car?” It was a question Logan asked frequently, and never got a satisfying answer to.

 “I have a car because I’m too lazy to skateboard everywhere.”

  Logan rolled his eyes, and slipped into the car, taking the keys from the lanky man. He tied his hair back into a ponytail and motioned to Virgil to start filming.

 “Sup everyone, we still need an official video intro so keep sending in ideas. And I’m sure that you read the title, so y’all know we’re going on a ghost hunt today.”

 “Please, Virgil, don’t make it a clickbait title. Please don’t hurt me like that.”

 “I do what I want, nerd.” Logan groaned and started the engine as Virgil continued to talk, only interrupting to correct the brand name and to offer his stance when Virgil asked if he believed in ghosts. Despite his easy tone, though, Virgil seemed tense and his shoulders were drawn up close.

 The drive was by no means a long one, but by the time they finally reached the old house, Virgil had somehow managed to go through his entire playlist, having skipped each song after one or two measures. Logan found it annoying but said nothing, as he could see Virgil gripping his stress ball out of the corner of his eye.

This wouldn’t end well.

***

 “Logan, Logan it turned the flashlight on please, please tell me there’s a logical explanation for that!”

“I don’t know! Maybe it’s a faulty battery, or… or the switch isn’t fully on so it’s flipping between its off and on mode!”

 “OH MY GOD IT’S MOVING!”

 There’s a high-pitched scream, and the sound of footsteps retreating. The recording cuts to Virgil’s camera and shows Logan sprinting away as fast as he can.

 “YOU COWARD, DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! LOGAN!”

***

 “So, this is the place – leave it to Roman to pick a fucking mansion.”

 “Yes, well, I would expect no less from him. The Victorian style is quite breathtaking, despite it’s less than perfect condition.” Logan was leaning against the car, cleaning his glasses. Virgil shifted from foot to foot and fiddled with the straps on his bag.

“Do we really have to go in? We could just tell Roman there was like, a cop here or something, and he of all people should know that trespassing on private property doesn’t end well.”

 “I do not believe breaking and entering the theatre to steal a prince costume is quite the same, Virgil, and Roman would find that story compelling. No, we would have to mention that the officer was angered by our intent to enter a condemned area – we would at least have Patton on our side with that.”

 “Please don’t remind me of how unsafe this is. Not while I’m holding the car keys.”

 “You won’t drive anywhere.”

“At this point, self-preservation would let me do anything.” Virgil sighed and threw the keys at Logan. “Just hold on to these – don’t think you want me driving off without ya.”

 Logan hummed in agreement, pocketing the keys as he walked towards the front door. By the time he reached the porch, he looked back to Virgil who still hadn’t moved. Logan gestured towards the door.

 “Okay! Fine! But if something happens, this is all on you and your ego!”

 “If I recall correctly, you were the one who wanted to come here.”

 “Well, I changed my mind. C’mon, let’s just get this over with. Camera’s rolling.”

***

 “Logan, this isn’t funny!” The camera picks up a breeze from Virgil’s jacket as he sprints in the direction he thinks Logan went, his cries ignored.

The camera shifts suddenly, and we come face to face with the man himself. Virgil had stopped running and is standing in the front room.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I wish I was back in Logan’s basement listening to him rant about Mothman again.” He sighs, putting his free hand behind his head. “I’d rather listen to him confess his undying love for the thing than be here, choking on dust.

 “But! Instead, I let Roman win – which, by saying that, I feel nauseous – and now we’re here running around a death maze. There’s a ton of rusty nails and if we get cut on those we aren’t gonna get to a hospital in time. I think I saw a bat earlier? And where there’s bats, there’s disease-carrying mosquitoes. Not to mention those jacked up stairs.” The camera focuses on a flight of rotted stairs, the floorboards broken and, in some spots, missing altogether.

 “Yeah, stairs aren’t supposed to be bouncy. I’m just-I’m just gonna call Patton and see if he knows what to do from here.”

***

“I think there’s more dust in here than in Aunt Patty’s attic, and that’s saying something.”

 The house was older than anything the two had ever seen, and there was a fine film of filth covering every available surface. Logan couldn’t help but notice the numerous cobwebs and think of Patton – specifically, how much the man would hate being around so many.

  “Hey, do you, uh…” Virgil moved his flashlight over to one of the webs and stuttered out a few more false starts. “Do you think any of the spiders who made those things are, like, poisonous?”

 “If there are any venomous spiders, they will not bite you unless you give them a reason. They cannot eat you, so there is no purpose in wasting their venom on a large creature like you.” This seemed to calm the taller man down, and Logan moved over to the staircase.

 “Hey, don’t go up those, nerd, I already checked them. They’re not safe – the wood’s so rotted it’s squishy and soft.” Logan nodded and made a mental note to locate a different way upstairs.

The two continued to look around for a while longer, not finding anything remotely interesting. After about half an hour of quiet observation, Virgil suggested they started filming, claiming that the sooner they wrapped this up, the sooner they could drive away and never come back.

 “Salutations, class-”

“Logan, you’re boring.”

 “I am talking like I normally do, Virgil, how else should I speak? Like Roman, perhaps?”

 “God, no, please. Anything but that.”

“Well, in that case – greetings one and all! We’ve finally arrived at our grand destination and have been parading around the grounds for a few hours!”

 “I will throw this salt at you.”

 “Little grains of salt are no match for a prin- oof!”

 “I told you I would.”

 “You threw the entire container at me! Like a savage!”

 “What, you can pretend to Roman and I can’t?”

***

“Okay, so calling Patton was a bust. He told me to use the salt like a weapon and I had to tell him I already chucked it at Logan’s face.” Virgil snickers, running a finger under his nose. “That was the best thing to happen today if I’m being honest. Pat didn’t really appreciate it, though.

“Roman was also a wasted call – apparently he’s at some audition and when he answered, well, he just started screaming about newspapers.” Virgil pauses, and we hear something shatter off-screen.

“H-Hello? Demons?” The camera slowly pans across the room, almost making a full circle as even more thumps can be heard. Before it can finish, Virgil screams and drops the camera.

The screen is filled with static.

***

It had been about two hours, and in that time Logan had somehow managed to: find a way upstairs, provoke something into turning that flashlight on, proceed to run upstairs, get lost, and find a new respect for supernatural beliefs.

 “I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I believe in ghosts now.” His words echoed around the attic, unheard by anyone but him and perhaps the mouse he saw earlier. At least, he hoped that’s what it was. He couldn’t stand the thought of sharing space with a rat.

 “I believe in ghosts, so can we stop playing this juvenile game? How on Earth do I get back downstairs?” He waited for an answer as the logical part of his brain scolded him for speaking to thin air.

 He didn’t get one.

“This is ridiculous, I should know better.” He paused and listened again. “If I change my mind and say ghost are not real, will one of you tell me how to get back downstairs?” Logan removed his glasses and began to pace the room. The amount of dirt that had gathered on his frames was astounding – perhaps he had stumbled through a cobweb in his hasty exit.

“Well, what would Patton do in this situation? At present, he may make a joke about his poor eyesight and lack of- ow!” As he spoke, Logan ran into an old china cabinet – it didn’t fall, but he still held his breath as it swayed back and forth.

“Well, that was embarrassing,” Logan whispered, moving to the front to see if anything was inside. He found a few plates and teacups, though none were particularly impressive. If he were Roman or Patton he may have found the painted flowers beautiful, but he wasn’t, and he didn’t. The maroon one rimmed in gold paint did remind him of a set Roman owned, however, and made a mental note to come back for it if there was time.

But first, he had to find his way downstairs and reunite with Virgil.

***

“So, as you may have seen – though I can’t be sure because obviously, I do not know how this will be edited – I was forced to make a hasty, yet calm, retreat from the study.”

The screen cuts to a replay of Logan fleeing the room, and trombones play as he screams. Text pops up and it says “logan lies” in comic sans.

“After my exit, I managed to find my way upstairs and now I am unsure how to get down – much like a cat climbing a tree. But I did stumble across a cabinet full of teacups that I think a friend of mine would enjoy. I have also concluded that there are too many mothballs in this house and I will not cross meeting the Mothman off my bucket list today.”

Logan crosses the room as he paces, chewing on his lip in between sentences. “Despite my own disappointment, I find myself upset the most over being separated from Virgil. I do not believe he is well – I am ashamed to admit that I have only now realized he was suppressing a panic attack as we drove out here.

“To be quite honest, camera, there is a very good chance this footage won’t be posted online. It depends on how Virgil is doing and whether he is okay with releasing footage taken of him during an atta-”

Logan trips and falls into the china cabinet once more, a plate shattering upon impact. The camera swings around to show the floor and a trap door that was slightly ajar. A ladder falls from the floor, designed to be hidden when not in use.

“Well, here is my way down. This ladder does not look up to code,” He steps down on a rung, testing his weight, “but it should hold long enough for me to get down.”  He begins his descent but stops suddenly. Logan moves over to the cabinet and pulls out a teacup, placing it carefully in his bag. His footsteps are heavy and echo as he travels down the ladder.

At the bottom, he screams out Virgil’s name.

 ***

  “Virgil! Virgil, can you hear me?”

Logan shook him hard, but he got no response.

 “Virgil, please, you need to get up. I need to know you are okay.” Logan had spotted him collapsed in the middle of the room and jumped down the ladder as soon as he could, forgoing the last four rungs and sliding over to where Virgil lay.

“Mm, not so loud Logan. My ears are ringing.”

 “Well, I expected that. You must have hit your head when you collapsed – can you tell me if I sound muffled as if I were underwater?”

 “No, everything’s just beyond loud.” Virgil winced as he sat up, Logan taking note of where he grabbed his head.  “Logan, are you okay? You’re crying!”

 A quick swipe at his eye revealed that a few tears had formed and escaped.

 “Well, of course – I am not without a heart, Virgil. The sight of you sprawled out like that was… immensely alarming, to say the very least.” Logan’s breath shuddered, and a few minutes of silence passed between the two, interrupted by an occasional hum from Virgil.

 “The ringing is gone.” The silence was broken, and with its absence came Logan’s ability to breath deeply.

 “That is wonderful, Virgil.” Logan stood up and dusted his jeans off before offering a hand to the other man. “May I ask what circumstances led to you losing consciousness?”

“I don’t know.” Virgil kicks at the floor. “So, don’t ask.”

 “Well, may I share some theories I have developed?”

“Knock yourself out.” Logan winced at the phrase, and Virgil mumbled an apology as he collected his equipment.

 “Virgil, I knew you were edging toward a panic attack on the way here – so I would like to start by offering a sincere apology for not saying anything sooner.”

    “Don’t. I didn’t tell you, so it’s my fault. I just didn’t want you to worry too much – or to turn around. I know Roman would have given you a hard time if we didn’t film an episode here, so I figured I would just deal.”

 “As I have told you many times, there is no ‘dealing’ with these situations alone in our friendship. Regardless, I knew you were not okay and didn’t say anything.”

 “God, Logan, can’t you let me blame myself for once? At least let me share the blame.”

“Fine, we shall share at your insistence. Moving on, I believe the building panic caused you to experience an irregular breathing pattern. I deduce that the lack of oxygen led to you losing-”

“No. You’re wrong.”

 “I beg your pardon? You just told said you did not know what happened how can you say I am wrong?”

 “Because it’s embarrassing, okay?! Damnit, Logan, it’s embarrassing how bad this attack was and how ridiculous my shit brain makes me react.” Virgil strode away, and out of the room, calling over his shoulder.

“Just help me film some stuff so people don’t know that the passing out act was real. I’ll lay down over there, and just… I dunno we’ll improvise.”

“Is it wise to publish this footage? Roman and his teasing be damned, it is more important that you are okay, Virgil! These cameras likely have footage of you panicking and us arguing! Are a few views really worth it?”

“Yes, because I wanted this episode! I put the poll on Twitter, not Roman, okay? So please, let’s film something stupid, make the whole thing look staged, and leave.”

 “Virgil-”

 “Please, Logan.”

 “No.” Logan crossed his arms and stood up straight. He was taller than Virgil, and his glare was cold enough to give Virgil goosebumps.

 “I’m sorry, ‘no’? Oh, so now you say no! Not when I asked to come here, not when I asked for demons to turn a flashlight, not when-”

“Virgil, stop this. You are behaving in an immature manner and this needs to stop. How was I supposed to know that you wanted me to tell you ‘no’? I am not a mind reader, so you cannot blame your poor communication skills on my inability to instantly know what you want.”

Virgil said nothing. He glared at Logan and sat down on the floor, eventually inviting him to do the same. They sat there for a while, as both needed time to calm down before speaking.

 After what felt like an eternity later, Virgil finally spoke up.

“I’m gonna start, but you need to let me finish before you cut in, okay?” Logan nodded, and Virgil took a deep breath. “I wanted to film at a haunted house because I knew we would get way more views than we normally do.

 “I thought, hey! More views means more add revenue – and yes, I know it’s not a lot – but with that extra money, we could start building up the funds to rent an apartment. I’m sick of living with my parents, Logan, and I know you are too.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Virgil, but I would rather endure a few more years with them than have you hurting for the sake of loose change.”

 “Yeah, well. What’s done is done, I guess.” Virgil sighed and leaned over on Logan. “I lied, you know. I do know why I passed out earlier.” He sighed and buried his nose into Logan’s shoulder.

“I will not deny that I want to know why, Virgil, but I do not want you to share if you are uncomfortable.”

 “Heh, well, maybe you’ll learn something new – did you know that anxiety can make you see hallucinations? Specifically, when the fight or flight stuff kicks in?” Logan raises an eyebrow but remains silent. “When the, uh, the – instinct, for lack of better word – kicks in, your pupils dilate.

 “And when that happens, the sudden light change can cause a person – like me – to see shadows and figures at the edge of my vision.”

 “Fascinating – but I assume this is a rare situation and does not happen to you often?”

“No, it doesn’t. But it did when… did you break something upstairs? Because something shattered, there was a lot of thumping, and then they just- appeared. I think that made me panic even more, and then yes – the lack of oxygen probably did the rest.”

“Ah, yes, I fell into a cabinet of china, and I believe a plate was shattered. I apologize for my involvement.”

“Nah, no worries about that. It was just shoddy circumstances. And,” Virgil looked up, offering a weak grin to Logan, “As cheesy as it sounds, we are probably a bit closer than we were before this whole trip.”

“You are right, that is extremely cliché. I appreciate the sentiment, however, despite how infuriating your statement is. Shall we film the ending of this video, now?”

Virgil snorted, pushing himself up using Logan’s shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s this thing wrapped up.”

 ***

  “Virgil! Virgil, please get up!” Logan is frantically shaking Virgil’s shoulder, his voice wobbly. The camera has been left on after being discarded in a hurry.

“Logan… Logan no, don’t- don’t go in the closet.”

 “I spent ten years in the closet, I have no intention of going back in.” Logan sniffs as he speaks, and Virgil gasps awake, shooting upward.

“Huh? Wait, what happened? …Why would you go back in the closet?”              

 “You said not to go in there – what happened to you?”

 “I don’t- I don’t remember. There was a- I think I saw something, Logan. A shadow, maybe?”

 “You must have seen my shadow as I came down the ladder.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Virgil pauses and stares at a spot on the wall behind Logan. “Where is the ladder you came down?”

 “To your left.” Logan gestures with his head as he hoists Virgil to his feet.

 “That means it couldn’t have been your shadow. The light wouldn’t have hit you correctly to cast a shadow over there.” Virgil points to a closet off to the side of the ladder. “Besides, the shadow didn’t look… well not to be cliché, but it didn’t look human.”

“Preposterous.” Logan has moved over to the camera, and the screen goes black as he picks it up. A few moments later, it’s aimed at Virgil as he talks about what he saw in detail.

“…and it had, well they weren’t horns per say, but they were definitely not something that’s on your head, nerd. But, whatever,” Virgil rolls his eyes, “I can tell you don’t believe me. Let’s just get out of here.”

  Logan hums in agreement, and the screen goes black.

 ***

  “Goodbye, murder house, see you never!”

 “Well, this footage is unusable.”

 “Wait, why?”

 “I am not ending the video with you flipping off an old house.” Logan sighed and turned the camera off. Virgil pouted and turned to finish packing the equipment into his car.

“Hey, I know what I’mma call this video. ‘Logan finds a body’!” Virgil spread his arms out in emphasis, narrowly missing Logan’s face in the process.

 “That is absolutely morbid, Virgil, and uncharacteristically short.” Logan shut the trunk with a slam and fished the keys out of his bag as Virgil moved to the front seat.

 “Yeah, no, it’ll have emojis in it, the vlog title of course, and-”

  “By chance, will it be the proper title?” The car started with a roar, and the two were met with a blast of warm air. Virgil scrambled to open his window and Logan quickly shut off the air flow. “Because the channel is called ‘VergeofDiscovery’, not the childish pun Patton came up with.”

 “The Theory of Real-Activity is an amazing name, and I will fight you on this. You’re just jealous that you didn’t come up with it.”

 “Falsehood!”

 “Keep telling yourself that, nerd. Pass me the aux cord.”

The drive home was lighter than the last one – Virgil never once changed the music and the two could be heard screaming along as they flew down the road. The stress ball remained in the cup holder, untouched until the next big adventure.

[samanthasroberts]

Here are the best books for your brand new Kindle

If you’ve been gifted a Kindle having something to read right off the bat will be your first order of business. That’s why we’ve assembled a list of the best selling Kindle books of 2017 – for every type of reader. So whether you’re into dystopian novels, memoirs, or poetry, there’s something on this list for you.

Plus if you’re an Amazon Prime member, you get access to the Kindle Lending Library. You can check out a book for free every month, and with new titles added each month you’ll never run out of options to choose from. But for big readers, Kindle Unlimited exists to help feed your hunger for new material. The standalone service costs $9.99 a month and allows you to download most eBooks for free. So go on and get reading! You can thank us later.

1) Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

Amazon

From the publisher: The book is divided into four chapters, and each chapter serves a different purpose. Deals with a different pain. Heals a different heartache. Milk and Honey takes readers through a journey of the most bitter moments in life and finds sweetness in them because there is sweetness everywhere if you are just willing to look.

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $9.99) 

Buy it here

2) The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Amazon

From the publisher: The Handmaid’s Tale is a novel of such power that the reader will be unable to forget its images and its forecast. Set in the near future, it describes life in what was once the United States and is now called the Republic of Gilead, a monotheocracy that has reacted to social unrest and a sharply declining birthrate by reverting to, and going beyond, the repressive intolerance of the original Puritans. The regime takes the Book of Genesis absolutely at its word, with bizarre consequences for the women and men in its population.

Price on Amazon: $9.99 (regularly $15.95) 

Buy it here

3) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

Amazon

From the publisher: Harry Potter has never even heard of Hogwarts when the letters start dropping on the doormat at number four, Privet Drive. Addressed in green ink on yellowish parchment with a purple seal, they are swiftly confiscated by his grisly aunt and uncle. Then, on Harry’s eleventh birthday, a great beetle-eyed giant of a man called Rubeus Hagrid bursts in with some astonishing news: Harry Potter is a wizard, and he has a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. An incredible adventure is about to begin!

Price on Amazon: $8.99 (regularly $10.99)

Buy it here

4) 1984 by George Orwell 

Amazon

From the publisher: In 1984, London is a grim city in the totalitarian state of Oceania where Big Brother is always watching you and the Thought Police can practically read your mind. Winston Smith is a man in grave danger for the simple reason that his memory still functions. Drawn into a forbidden love affair, Winston finds the courage to join a secret revolutionary organization called The Brotherhood, dedicated to the destruction of the Party. Together with his beloved Julia, he hazards his life in a deadly match against the powers that be.

Price on Amazon: $9.99

Buy it here

5) The Unremembered Girl: A Novel by Eliza Maxwell

Amazon

From the publisher: In the deep woods of East Texas, Henry supports his family by selling bootleg liquor. It’s all he can do to keep his compassionate but ailing mother and his stepfather—a fanatical grassroots minister with a bruising rhetoric—from ruin. But they have no idea they’ve become the obsession of the girl in the woods. Abandoned and nearly feral, Eve has been watching them, seduced by the notion of family—something she’s known only in the most brutal sense. Soon she can’t resist the temptation to get close. Where Henry’s mother sees a poor girl in need, his father sees only wickedness. When Henry forges an unexpected bond with Eve, he believes he might be able to save her. He doesn’t know how wrong he is. Eve is about to take charge of her own destiny—and that of Henry’s family. As both their worlds spin violently out of control, Henry must make an impossible choice: protect the broken woman who’s claimed a piece of his soul, or put everyone he loves at risk in order to do the right thing.

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $14.95) 

Buy it here

6) I Am Watching You by Teresa Driscoll 

Amazon

From the publisher: When Ella Longfield overhears two attractive young men flirting with teenage girls on a train, she thinks nothing of it—until she realises they are fresh out of prison and her maternal instinct is put on high alert. But just as she’s decided to call for help, something stops her. The next day, she wakes up to the news that one of the girls—beautiful, green-eyed Anna Ballard—has disappeared. A year later, Anna is still missing. Ella is wracked with guilt over what she failed to do, and she’s not the only one who can’t forget. Someone is sending her threatening letters—letters that make her fear for her life. Then an anniversary appeal reveals that Anna’s friends and family might have something to hide. Anna’s best friend, Sarah, hasn’t been telling the whole truth about what really happened that night—and her parents have been keeping secrets of their own. Someone knows where Anna is—and they’re not telling. But they are watching Ella.

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $14.95) 

Buy it here

7) The Letter by Kathryn Hughes 

Amazon

From the publisher: Tina Craig longs to escape her violent husband. She works all the hours God sends to save up enough money to leave him, also volunteering in a charity shop to avoid her unhappy home. Whilst going through the pockets of a second-hand suit, she comes across an old letter, the envelope firmly sealed and unfranked. Tina opens the letter and reads it – a decision that will alter the course of her life forever. Billy Stirling knows he has been a fool, but hopes he can put things right. On 4th September 1939 he sits down to write the letter he hopes will change his future. It does – in more ways than he can ever imagine.

Price on Amazon: $1.99 (regularly $13.99) 

Buy it here

8) Dead Certain: A Novel by Adam Mitzner

Amazon

From the publisher: Ella Broden is living a double life. By day, Ella works as a buttoned-up attorney on some of the city’s most grueling cases. By night, she pursues her passion for singing in the darkest clubs of Manhattan. No one knows her secret, not even Charlotte, the younger sister she practically raised. But it seems she’s not the only one in the family with something to hide. When Charlotte announces she’s sold her first novel, Ella couldn’t be more thrilled…until she gets a call that her sister’s gone missing. Ella starts investigating with the help of Detective Gabriel Velasquez, an old flame in the NYPD, and what she finds is shocking. If art imitates life, then her sister’s novel may contain details of her real-life affairs. And any one of her lovers could be involved in her disappearance. Desperate to bring Charlotte home, Ella works through her list of suspects, matching fictitious characters with flesh-and-blood men. But will it be too late to save the sister she only thought she knew?

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $15.95) 

But it here

9) Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck by Thug Kitchen

Amazon

From the publisher: Thug Kitchen started their wildly popular web site to inspire people to eat some Goddamn vegetables and adopt a healthier lifestyle. Beloved by Gwyneth Paltrow (“This might be my favorite thing ever”) and named Saveur‘s Best New Food blog of 2013–with half a million Facebook fans and counting–Thug Kitchen wants to show everyone how to take charge of their plates and cook up some real f*cking food. Yeah, plenty of blogs and cookbooks preach about how to eat more kale, why ginger fights inflammation, and how to cook with microgreens and nettles. But they are dull or pretentious as hell–and most people can’t afford the hype. Thug Kitchen lives in the real world. In their first cookbook, they’re throwing down more than 100 vegan recipes for their best-loved meals, snacks, and sides for beginning cooks to home chefs. (Roasted Beer and Lime Cauliflower Tacos? Pumpkin Chili? Grilled Peach Salsa? Believe that sh*t.) Plus they’re going to arm you with all the info and techniques you need to shop on a budget and go and kick a bunch of ass on your own. This book is an invitation to everyone who wants to do better to elevate their kitchen game. No more ketchup and pizza counting as vegetables. No more drive-thru lines. No more avoiding the produce corner of the supermarket. Sh*t is about to get real.

Price on Amazon: $9.99 (regularly $19.50) 

Buy it here

10) The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

Amazon

From the publisher: In ancient times the Rings of Power were crafted by the Elven-smiths, and Sauron, the Dark Lord, forged the One Ring, filling it with his own power so that he could rule all others. But the One Ring was taken from him, and though he sought it throughout Middle-earth, it remained lost to him. After many ages it fell by chance into the hands of the hobbit Bilbo Baggins. From Sauron’s fastness in the Dark Tower of Mordor, his power spread far and wide. Sauron gathered all the Great Rings to him, but always he searched for the One Ring that would complete his dominion. When Bilbo reached his eleventy-first birthday he disappeared, bequeathing to his young cousin Frodo the Ruling Ring and a perilous quest: to journey across Middle-earth, deep into the shadow of the Dark Lord, and destroy the Ring by casting it into the Cracks of Doom. The Lord of the Rings tells of the great quest undertaken by Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring: Gandalf the Wizard; the hobbits Merry, Pippin, and Sam; Gimli the Dwarf; Legolas the Elf; Boromir of Gondor; and a tall, mysterious stranger called Strider. This new edition includes the fiftieth-anniversary fully corrected text setting and, for the first time, an extensive new index.

Price on Amazon: $16.99 (regularly $20.00)

Buy it here

11) Diary of a Wimpy Kid  by Jeff Kinney 

Amazon

From the publisher: It’s a new school year, and Greg Heffley finds himself thrust into middle school, where undersized weaklings share the hallways with kids who are taller, meaner, and already shaving. The hazards of growing up before you’re ready are uniquely revealed through words and drawings as Greg records them in his diary. In book one of this debut series, Greg is happy to have Rowley, his sidekick, along for the ride. But when Rowley’s star starts to rise, Greg tries to use his best friend’s newfound popularity to his own advantage, kicking off a chain of events that will test their friendship in hilarious fashion.

Price on Amazon: $7.99 (regularly $12.56)

Buy it here

12) Star Wars: Darth Vader Vol. 1 by Kieron Gillen

Amazon

From the publisher: The original Dark Lord of the Sith stars in his first ongoing series! Ever since Darth Vader’s first on-screen appearance, he has become one of pop-culture’s most popular villains. Now, follow Vader straight from the ending of A NEW HOPE (and the pages of the new STAR WARS comic book) into his own solo adventures — showing the Empire’s war with the Rebel Alliance from the other side! But when a Dark Lord needs help, who can he turn to? As Vader pursues a very personal vengeance against the Rebels and investigates the Emperor’s secret machinations, he clashes with weapons scavenger Aphra and deadly Battle Droids, and returns to Geonosis to build an army. But some very powerful people don’t want him to learn the truths he seeks! Guest-starring Jabba the Hutt, Boba Fett and more!

Price on Amazon: $2.99 (regularly $10.99) 

Buy it here

13) Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller

Amazon

From the publisher: Kimberly Rae Miller is an immaculately put-together woman with a great career, a loving boyfriend, and a beautifully tidy apartment in Brooklyn. You would never guess that behind the closed doors of her family’s idyllic Long Island house hid teetering stacks of aging newspaper, broken computers, and boxes upon boxes of unused junk festering in every room—the product of her father’s painful and unending struggle with hoarding. In this dazzling memoir, Miller brings to life her experience growing up in a rat-infested home, hiding her father’s shameful secret from friends for years, and the emotional burden that ultimately led to her suicide attempt. In beautiful prose, Miller sheds light on her complicated yet loving relationship with her parents, which has thrived in spite of the odds. Coming Clean is a story about recognizing where you come from and understanding the relationships that define you. It is also a powerful story of recovery and redemption.

Price on Amazon: $5.99 (regularly $13.95) 

Buy it here

14) Two Kinds of Truth by Michael Connelly 

Amazon

From the publisher: Harry Bosch is back as a volunteer working cold cases for the San Fernando Police Department and is called out to a local drug store where a young pharmacist has been murdered. Bosch and the town’s 3-person detective squad sift through the clues, which lead into the dangerous, big business world of pill mills and prescription drug abuse. Meanwhile, an old case from Bosch’s LAPD days comes back to haunt him when a long-imprisoned killer claims Harry framed him, and seems to have new evidence to prove it. Bosch left the LAPD on bad terms, so his former colleagues aren’t keen to protect his reputation. He must fend for himself in clearing his name and keeping a clever killer in prison. The two unrelated cases wind around each other like strands of barbed wire. Along the way Bosch discovers that there are two kinds of truth: the kind that sets you free and the kind that leaves you buried in darkness.

Price on Amazon: $14.99 (regularly $29.00) 

Buy it here

15) A River in Darkness: One Man’s Escape from North Korea by Masaji Ishikawa

Amazon

From the publisher: Half-Korean, half-Japanese, Masaji Ishikawa has spent his whole life feeling like a man without a country. This feeling only deepened when his family moved from Japan to North Korea when Ishikawa was just thirteen years old, and unwittingly became members of the lowest social caste. His father, himself a Korean national, was lured to the new Communist country by promises of abundant work, education for his children, and a higher station in society. But the reality of their new life was far from utopian. In this memoir translated from the original Japanese, Ishikawa candidly recounts his tumultuous upbringing and the brutal thirty-six years he spent living under a crushing totalitarian regime, as well as the challenges he faced repatriating to Japan after barely escaping North Korea with his life. A River in Darkness is not only a shocking portrait of life inside the country but a testament to the dignity—and indomitable nature—of the human spirit.

Price on Amazon: $1.99 (regularly $19.95) 

Buy it here

Shop the full list of best-selling Kindle books here

MORE BAZAAR DEALS:

These brand new Harry Potter books are great additions to your collection

10 literary journalism classics that should be on your reading list

The Introvert Activity Book is perfect for those who find solace in alone time

The Daily Dot may receive a payment in connection with purchases of products or services featured in this article. Click here to learn more.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/here-are-the-best-books-for-your-brand-new-kindle/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/12/30/here-are-the-best-books-for-your-brand-new-kindle/

[allofbeercom]

Here are the best books for your brand new Kindle

If you’ve been gifted a Kindle having something to read right off the bat will be your first order of business. That’s why we’ve assembled a list of the best selling Kindle books of 2017 – for every type of reader. So whether you’re into dystopian novels, memoirs, or poetry, there’s something on this list for you.

Plus if you’re an Amazon Prime member, you get access to the Kindle Lending Library. You can check out a book for free every month, and with new titles added each month you’ll never run out of options to choose from. But for big readers, Kindle Unlimited exists to help feed your hunger for new material. The standalone service costs $9.99 a month and allows you to download most eBooks for free. So go on and get reading! You can thank us later.

1) Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

Amazon

From the publisher: The book is divided into four chapters, and each chapter serves a different purpose. Deals with a different pain. Heals a different heartache. Milk and Honey takes readers through a journey of the most bitter moments in life and finds sweetness in them because there is sweetness everywhere if you are just willing to look.

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $9.99) 

Buy it here

2) The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Amazon

From the publisher: The Handmaid’s Tale is a novel of such power that the reader will be unable to forget its images and its forecast. Set in the near future, it describes life in what was once the United States and is now called the Republic of Gilead, a monotheocracy that has reacted to social unrest and a sharply declining birthrate by reverting to, and going beyond, the repressive intolerance of the original Puritans. The regime takes the Book of Genesis absolutely at its word, with bizarre consequences for the women and men in its population.

Price on Amazon: $9.99 (regularly $15.95) 

Buy it here

3) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

Amazon

From the publisher: Harry Potter has never even heard of Hogwarts when the letters start dropping on the doormat at number four, Privet Drive. Addressed in green ink on yellowish parchment with a purple seal, they are swiftly confiscated by his grisly aunt and uncle. Then, on Harry’s eleventh birthday, a great beetle-eyed giant of a man called Rubeus Hagrid bursts in with some astonishing news: Harry Potter is a wizard, and he has a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. An incredible adventure is about to begin!

Price on Amazon: $8.99 (regularly $10.99)

Buy it here

4) 1984 by George Orwell 

Amazon

From the publisher: In 1984, London is a grim city in the totalitarian state of Oceania where Big Brother is always watching you and the Thought Police can practically read your mind. Winston Smith is a man in grave danger for the simple reason that his memory still functions. Drawn into a forbidden love affair, Winston finds the courage to join a secret revolutionary organization called The Brotherhood, dedicated to the destruction of the Party. Together with his beloved Julia, he hazards his life in a deadly match against the powers that be.

Price on Amazon: $9.99

Buy it here

5) The Unremembered Girl: A Novel by Eliza Maxwell

Amazon

From the publisher: In the deep woods of East Texas, Henry supports his family by selling bootleg liquor. It’s all he can do to keep his compassionate but ailing mother and his stepfather—a fanatical grassroots minister with a bruising rhetoric—from ruin. But they have no idea they’ve become the obsession of the girl in the woods. Abandoned and nearly feral, Eve has been watching them, seduced by the notion of family—something she’s known only in the most brutal sense. Soon she can’t resist the temptation to get close. Where Henry’s mother sees a poor girl in need, his father sees only wickedness. When Henry forges an unexpected bond with Eve, he believes he might be able to save her. He doesn’t know how wrong he is. Eve is about to take charge of her own destiny—and that of Henry’s family. As both their worlds spin violently out of control, Henry must make an impossible choice: protect the broken woman who’s claimed a piece of his soul, or put everyone he loves at risk in order to do the right thing.

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $14.95) 

Buy it here

6) I Am Watching You by Teresa Driscoll 

Amazon

From the publisher: When Ella Longfield overhears two attractive young men flirting with teenage girls on a train, she thinks nothing of it—until she realises they are fresh out of prison and her maternal instinct is put on high alert. But just as she’s decided to call for help, something stops her. The next day, she wakes up to the news that one of the girls—beautiful, green-eyed Anna Ballard—has disappeared. A year later, Anna is still missing. Ella is wracked with guilt over what she failed to do, and she’s not the only one who can’t forget. Someone is sending her threatening letters—letters that make her fear for her life. Then an anniversary appeal reveals that Anna’s friends and family might have something to hide. Anna’s best friend, Sarah, hasn’t been telling the whole truth about what really happened that night—and her parents have been keeping secrets of their own. Someone knows where Anna is—and they’re not telling. But they are watching Ella.

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $14.95) 

Buy it here

7) The Letter by Kathryn Hughes 

Amazon

From the publisher: Tina Craig longs to escape her violent husband. She works all the hours God sends to save up enough money to leave him, also volunteering in a charity shop to avoid her unhappy home. Whilst going through the pockets of a second-hand suit, she comes across an old letter, the envelope firmly sealed and unfranked. Tina opens the letter and reads it – a decision that will alter the course of her life forever. Billy Stirling knows he has been a fool, but hopes he can put things right. On 4th September 1939 he sits down to write the letter he hopes will change his future. It does – in more ways than he can ever imagine.

Price on Amazon: $1.99 (regularly $13.99) 

Buy it here

8) Dead Certain: A Novel by Adam Mitzner

Amazon

From the publisher: Ella Broden is living a double life. By day, Ella works as a buttoned-up attorney on some of the city’s most grueling cases. By night, she pursues her passion for singing in the darkest clubs of Manhattan. No one knows her secret, not even Charlotte, the younger sister she practically raised. But it seems she’s not the only one in the family with something to hide. When Charlotte announces she’s sold her first novel, Ella couldn’t be more thrilled…until she gets a call that her sister’s gone missing. Ella starts investigating with the help of Detective Gabriel Velasquez, an old flame in the NYPD, and what she finds is shocking. If art imitates life, then her sister’s novel may contain details of her real-life affairs. And any one of her lovers could be involved in her disappearance. Desperate to bring Charlotte home, Ella works through her list of suspects, matching fictitious characters with flesh-and-blood men. But will it be too late to save the sister she only thought she knew?

Price on Amazon: $4.99 (regularly $15.95) 

But it here

9) Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck by Thug Kitchen

Amazon

From the publisher: Thug Kitchen started their wildly popular web site to inspire people to eat some Goddamn vegetables and adopt a healthier lifestyle. Beloved by Gwyneth Paltrow (“This might be my favorite thing ever”) and named Saveur‘s Best New Food blog of 2013–with half a million Facebook fans and counting–Thug Kitchen wants to show everyone how to take charge of their plates and cook up some real f*cking food. Yeah, plenty of blogs and cookbooks preach about how to eat more kale, why ginger fights inflammation, and how to cook with microgreens and nettles. But they are dull or pretentious as hell–and most people can’t afford the hype. Thug Kitchen lives in the real world. In their first cookbook, they’re throwing down more than 100 vegan recipes for their best-loved meals, snacks, and sides for beginning cooks to home chefs. (Roasted Beer and Lime Cauliflower Tacos? Pumpkin Chili? Grilled Peach Salsa? Believe that sh*t.) Plus they’re going to arm you with all the info and techniques you need to shop on a budget and go and kick a bunch of ass on your own. This book is an invitation to everyone who wants to do better to elevate their kitchen game. No more ketchup and pizza counting as vegetables. No more drive-thru lines. No more avoiding the produce corner of the supermarket. Sh*t is about to get real.

Price on Amazon: $9.99 (regularly $19.50) 

Buy it here

10) The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

Amazon

From the publisher: In ancient times the Rings of Power were crafted by the Elven-smiths, and Sauron, the Dark Lord, forged the One Ring, filling it with his own power so that he could rule all others. But the One Ring was taken from him, and though he sought it throughout Middle-earth, it remained lost to him. After many ages it fell by chance into the hands of the hobbit Bilbo Baggins. From Sauron’s fastness in the Dark Tower of Mordor, his power spread far and wide. Sauron gathered all the Great Rings to him, but always he searched for the One Ring that would complete his dominion. When Bilbo reached his eleventy-first birthday he disappeared, bequeathing to his young cousin Frodo the Ruling Ring and a perilous quest: to journey across Middle-earth, deep into the shadow of the Dark Lord, and destroy the Ring by casting it into the Cracks of Doom. The Lord of the Rings tells of the great quest undertaken by Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring: Gandalf the Wizard; the hobbits Merry, Pippin, and Sam; Gimli the Dwarf; Legolas the Elf; Boromir of Gondor; and a tall, mysterious stranger called Strider. This new edition includes the fiftieth-anniversary fully corrected text setting and, for the first time, an extensive new index.

Price on Amazon: $16.99 (regularly $20.00)

Buy it here

11) Diary of a Wimpy Kid  by Jeff Kinney 

Amazon

From the publisher: It’s a new school year, and Greg Heffley finds himself thrust into middle school, where undersized weaklings share the hallways with kids who are taller, meaner, and already shaving. The hazards of growing up before you’re ready are uniquely revealed through words and drawings as Greg records them in his diary. In book one of this debut series, Greg is happy to have Rowley, his sidekick, along for the ride. But when Rowley’s star starts to rise, Greg tries to use his best friend’s newfound popularity to his own advantage, kicking off a chain of events that will test their friendship in hilarious fashion.

Price on Amazon: $7.99 (regularly $12.56)

Buy it here

12) Star Wars: Darth Vader Vol. 1 by Kieron Gillen

Amazon

From the publisher: The original Dark Lord of the Sith stars in his first ongoing series! Ever since Darth Vader’s first on-screen appearance, he has become one of pop-culture’s most popular villains. Now, follow Vader straight from the ending of A NEW HOPE (and the pages of the new STAR WARS comic book) into his own solo adventures — showing the Empire’s war with the Rebel Alliance from the other side! But when a Dark Lord needs help, who can he turn to? As Vader pursues a very personal vengeance against the Rebels and investigates the Emperor’s secret machinations, he clashes with weapons scavenger Aphra and deadly Battle Droids, and returns to Geonosis to build an army. But some very powerful people don’t want him to learn the truths he seeks! Guest-starring Jabba the Hutt, Boba Fett and more!

Price on Amazon: $2.99 (regularly $10.99) 

Buy it here

13) Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller

Amazon

From the publisher: Kimberly Rae Miller is an immaculately put-together woman with a great career, a loving boyfriend, and a beautifully tidy apartment in Brooklyn. You would never guess that behind the closed doors of her family’s idyllic Long Island house hid teetering stacks of aging newspaper, broken computers, and boxes upon boxes of unused junk festering in every room—the product of her father’s painful and unending struggle with hoarding. In this dazzling memoir, Miller brings to life her experience growing up in a rat-infested home, hiding her father’s shameful secret from friends for years, and the emotional burden that ultimately led to her suicide attempt. In beautiful prose, Miller sheds light on her complicated yet loving relationship with her parents, which has thrived in spite of the odds. Coming Clean is a story about recognizing where you come from and understanding the relationships that define you. It is also a powerful story of recovery and redemption.

Price on Amazon: $5.99 (regularly $13.95) 

Buy it here

14) Two Kinds of Truth by Michael Connelly 

Amazon

From the publisher: Harry Bosch is back as a volunteer working cold cases for the San Fernando Police Department and is called out to a local drug store where a young pharmacist has been murdered. Bosch and the town’s 3-person detective squad sift through the clues, which lead into the dangerous, big business world of pill mills and prescription drug abuse. Meanwhile, an old case from Bosch’s LAPD days comes back to haunt him when a long-imprisoned killer claims Harry framed him, and seems to have new evidence to prove it. Bosch left the LAPD on bad terms, so his former colleagues aren’t keen to protect his reputation. He must fend for himself in clearing his name and keeping a clever killer in prison. The two unrelated cases wind around each other like strands of barbed wire. Along the way Bosch discovers that there are two kinds of truth: the kind that sets you free and the kind that leaves you buried in darkness.

Price on Amazon: $14.99 (regularly $29.00) 

Buy it here

15) A River in Darkness: One Man’s Escape from North Korea by Masaji Ishikawa

Amazon

From the publisher: Half-Korean, half-Japanese, Masaji Ishikawa has spent his whole life feeling like a man without a country. This feeling only deepened when his family moved from Japan to North Korea when Ishikawa was just thirteen years old, and unwittingly became members of the lowest social caste. His father, himself a Korean national, was lured to the new Communist country by promises of abundant work, education for his children, and a higher station in society. But the reality of their new life was far from utopian. In this memoir translated from the original Japanese, Ishikawa candidly recounts his tumultuous upbringing and the brutal thirty-six years he spent living under a crushing totalitarian regime, as well as the challenges he faced repatriating to Japan after barely escaping North Korea with his life. A River in Darkness is not only a shocking portrait of life inside the country but a testament to the dignity—and indomitable nature—of the human spirit.

Price on Amazon: $1.99 (regularly $19.95) 

Buy it here

Shop the full list of best-selling Kindle books here

MORE BAZAAR DEALS:

These brand new Harry Potter books are great additions to your collection

10 literary journalism classics that should be on your reading list

The Introvert Activity Book is perfect for those who find solace in alone time

The Daily Dot may receive a payment in connection with purchases of products or services featured in this article. Click here to learn more.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/here-are-the-best-books-for-your-brand-new-kindle/

[a-m-proudfoot]

Blog Tour ~ Day Moon ~ Excerpt

Blog Tour ~ Day Moon

Author: Brett Armstrong

Genre: Science Fiction/ Fantasy

Dates:29th of May ~ 9th of June

Hosted by: Ultimate Fantasy Book Tours

Blurb:

In A.D. 2039, a prodigious seventeen year old, Elliott, is assigned to work on a global soft-ware initiative his deceased grandfather helped found. Project Alexandria is intended to provide the entire world secure and equal access to all accumulated human knowledge. All forms of print are destroyed in good faith, to ensure everyone has equal footing, and Elliott knows he must soon part with his final treasure: a book of Shakespeare’s complete works gifted him by his grandfather. Before it is destroyed, Elliott notices something is amiss with the book, or rather Project Alexandria. The two do not match, including an extra sonnet titled “Day Moon”. When Elliott investigates, he uncovers far more than he bargained for. There are sinister forces backing Project Alexandria who have no intention of using it for its public purpose. Elliott soon finds himself on the run from federal authorities and facing betrayals and deceit from those closest to him. Following clues left by his grandfather, with agents close at hand, Elliott desperately hopes to find a way to stop Project Alexandria. All of history past and yet to be depend on it.

 Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34722838-day-moon

Buy Links:

 Amazon.com ~ https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XWDM49Z

   Author Bio:

 From an early age, Brett Armstrong had a love for literature and history. At age nine, he combined the two for his first time in a short story set in the last days of the Aztec Empire. After that, writing’s role in his life waxed and waned periodically, always a dream on the horizon, till he reached college. At West Virginia University, he entered the Computer Engineering program and spent two years pursuing that degree before an opportunity to take a creative writing class, for fun, came along. It was so enjoyable, he took another and in that course he discovered two things. The first was the plot for a short story called Destitutio Quod Remissio, which the others students really seemed to love. The second, he realized he absolutely loved writing. For him, it was like the proverbial light bulb coming on. In the years since, describing that epiphany has been difficult for him, but he found the words of 1924 Olympian Eric Liddell are the most eloquent expression for it: “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” God gave Brett a passion for writing, and so feels His pleasure when writing. After a few years passed, Brett got his Computer Engineering degree, but also completed a minor in each of his real passions: history and creative writing. In 2013, he began graduate school to earn an MA in Creative Writing. During that time he completed the novelization of Destitutio Quod Remissio and entered the 2013-2014 CrossBooks Writing Contest, which won the contest's grand prize. As of March 2015, Brett completed his MA and is presently employed in the West Virginia Division of Infectious Disease Epidemiology as a programmer analyst. Brett lives in Saint Albans, West Virginia, with his beautiful wife, Shelly. In the summer the pair gardens together, and each day Brett continues writing his next novel.

Visit him at:

 Website: http://www.brettarmstrong.net/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brettarmstrongwv

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/BArmstrongWV

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00TGQ8ULK

  Excerpt ...

 Minutes later, John was out of sight and Elliott and Lara were almost to the library. Lara finally spoke up. “So, looks like we’re trusting him after all, huh?”

“As much as we can,” Elliott responded, feeling his chest tighten. This wasn’t a pleasant conversation from the tone of Lara’s voice.

“We just gave him my car,” she stated, her voice as sleek and blunt as a baseball bat.

“To be honest it’s better if we don’t have your car anymore. They know we’re in the area. Terrance couldn’t have found us and the authorities remain in the dark.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe John tipped Terrance off.”

“I tipped Terrance off when I checked your phone,” Elliott answered, his voice low.

“Why did you by the way?”

“I just felt like I needed to.”

“You don’t trust me either.”

“No, I trust you, but… I don’t know what to think anymore. Everywhere I look there’s some kind of trap or clue to a puzzle I never meant to try to solve.”

“I guess I can understand that,” Lara said, a grimace on her face.

“Are you sure?”

“No, but I like you enough to give myself time to figure it out.”

Elliott’s cheeks grew rosy and he wanted to apologize, to erase the hurt in her cocoa eyes, but he couldn’t begin to frame it in a way that would cover it justly.

He couldn’t let it end on that note. He had to turn it in the right direction. The words came to him in a rush and, like a wave crashing to the shore and then receding, they escaped his grasp again. The only person I trust right now is Christ, but you’re the closest anyone else could come.

Those words remained out of his grasp, because vexation descended upon him as he wondered at the truth of the words. Am I really trusting Christ? Grandpa used to tell me, “Perfect love drives out fear,” but that certainly doesn’t look anything like how I act.

More than Lara’s ire, this realization hurt him. He was truly failing everyone.ire, this realization hurt him. He was truly failing everyone.

Before him stood the doors to the library. Elliott noticed Lara’s arms were crossed and tense. Grasping the door, he pulled it open and said, “Lovely ladies before bumbling, and apologetic, boyfriends.” The taste of iron drifted faintly onto his tongue as he bit down on his cheek in horror at what he had just said.

Lara rolled her eyes, but her posture relaxed as she strolled in. Elliott couldn’t be sure, but he thought she wore the ghost of a smile as well.

Inside the library things looked much like their last visit, largely empty with lights dimmer than most buildings of similar purpose in more developed cities. Behind the circulation desk, Elliott caught a flicker of motion, as Rosalyn saw them and stiffened, as if they were specters rather than patrons.

Shooting Lara a quick glance, Elliott shrugged. Lara shrugged back and mouthed, “Go ahead.”

By the time the pair made it to the desk’s edge, Rosalyn had regained some of her composure. The librarian’s discomfort was seemingly displaced by confusion…and annoyance?

Before either teen could speak, she addressed them both in an even, but clearly strained tone. “Why are you both here?”

“We ran in to some…complications following the tips you gave us,” Elliott replied, trying not to sound abashed over circumstances that were not his fault.

“And you think I can do something about it?”

“No,” Elliott rejoined, “but you can give us some answers. Like, what is going on, and what my grandfather was trying to clue us in to.”

Rosalyn’s arms were perpendicular to one another and she rested her head in the palm of the vertical. A faint moaning sound escaped her lips. “You both think you can find answers here? Wonderful. We’re all as good as dead.”