#thaft

[matznothere]

and they were roomates

[a-very-tired-raven]

SUFFER

WHEN IM DONE WITH DINNER BOTH YOU AND @under-art-reblogs SHALL SUFFER MY WRATH

[fengqiwus]

also yall would not believe i just went crazy on banana republic's website bc their sale is insane

[superbstarlightsheep]

LITALE BORTHER! *giggles* I hafv fofund out hwof to use thaft fabrezz shit as a wyah to get faucking whasted *giggles*

No go see dad I’m not dealing with you

[the-teapot-hatter]

Okey this is for pure comedy and nothing else since this would never happen BUT-

In the Off Script AU what if MC gets a little taken of the Saintess?? Like a puppy love crush or maybe MC is just nicer to them then everyone else (aka the suitors who are trying to win over MC heart-)

Because you said in the ask about Saintess that the only characters who will be "Taken over" by them are characters that either don't affect the plot that much or at all and MC originally meant nothing to the plot (I think they still don't matter but that could have been changed)

This is great and honestly the perfect request for this AU, since it's kinda pure crack already--

Anyway, here's the ask, I hope that you enjoy! And If this isn't what you wanted, or you would like to see this with a different character, feel free to let me know and I'll make sure to write it. ^^

Malleus had a hard time keeping himself from twitching. As the Crown Prince, he couldn't afford to have a bad relationship with the Saintess. And truly, he didn't dislike Cersei. In fact, she was one of the few people he had an applicable relationship with. She was like a little sister. As such, Malleus thinks she was taking to her job of the annoying little sister a little too well.

Currently, she was feeding both (Y/n) and Grimm some of the sweets only nobles could attain, a delicacy afforded to her by her status. Maybe it wouldn't have been such a big deal, if it hadn't been for the fact that Malleus had tried to do the same thing and was denied. (Y/n) had shown no interest in him at all, yet they had no problem with Cersei cooing over them as if they were a small puppy. What exactly was he doing wrong?

"Something wrong, Malleus?" Cersei asked, a look that was much to smug settling across her features. She knew exactly what she was doing. And while Malleus was grateful that Cersei didn't have any romantic affections for (Y/n), he was still a little annoyed with the ease of which she could get close with (Y/n). At least, Malleus didn't think Cersei liked (Y/n) romantically.

"Of course not, though I am curious as to when you got so close to (Y/n) and Sir Grimm." Malleus casually spoke. (Y/n) glanced up at him with judgmental eyes, as if they could tell what he was thinking and wasn't caring for it. Malleus wasn't so sure they actually knew what he was thinking. At times, they could be incredibly perceptive, and others, they remained oblivious. In particular, they didn't seem to understand, or willfully ignored, when others had any sort of romantic interest.

"Oh! They helped fix an old tool of mine. They're incredibly smart!" Cersei cheered. Clapping her hands together. Grimm nodded, looking particularly smug.

"Thafts rifpht! I'ff fe Grutest!" Grimm spoke with food still in his mouth, but vaguely Malleus could make out an 'That's right! I'm the Greatest!'.

Contemplating to himself, Malleus wondered if (Y/n) just wasn't interested in men but rather, preferred woman. Well, there were such transformation potions that would do the work, but he isn't so sure if that would be the best political move. Hmmm.... A prospect to consider at another time.

"I've heard that (Y/n)'s skills are to be revered." Malleus lightly fibbed. While Idia had said that (Y/n) had potential, it wasn't anything that a certified professional couldn't do. But Malleus had also heard plenty of people praise (Y/n) in such a way that his Fea roots didn't stop the light fib from leaving his lips. "In fact, I would be most interested in offering you a position as one of the Palace's handyman, if you would allow (Y/n)."

(Y/n) certainly had more manners than Grimm, waiting to finish their food before speaking.

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline your gracious offer, your Highness." (Y/n) rejected, as they had many others before. Malleus couldn't help the pout that settled across his lips. And to make matters worse, Cersei jumped in with her own offer.

"I'm sure the temple could offer you a position of a handyman! None of the Priest, or Priestesses around here no what to do with most of the magical tools or anything similar." Cersei suggested. Instead of the instant rejection that Malleus had gotten, (Y/n) had paused and seemed to be considering the offer.

"I'll think about it." (Y/n) finally responded. Cersei squealed and jumped onto (Y/n) with exuberance unbefitting of a lady such as herself.

"Won't you!? Then we'll get to see each other more often!" Cersei cheered, awkwardly (Y/n) wrapped their own arms around Cersei not seeming to know what to do. A crackle of thunder roared from outside. Yes, maybe Malleus should see if that transformation potion would get him a different response.

[isdalinarhot]

personal non cosmere post so sorry about that also me posting about problems i have but also probably getting horny with it sorry about that as well but. i have an issue right now. where i have gained a significant amount of weight since last august/september. for "i get very drunk pretty much every night" reasons. like i dont know the exact numbers because i dont own a scale and only weigh myself at doctors visits and my parents' house. but im pretty sure im within 20 pounds of 300. and if we were a nudist society i would not care. i would be like yaaaaaaaaaaaay i am hotter in my own eyes and less hot in the eyes of bigots who i don't want the time of day from anyways. but oh my god since we have to wear clothes. im in hell. because you see short sleeve shirt and shorts season is coming up fast. even faster because of climate change. im gonna have to start wearing t shirts and button ups and shorts again by the end of february probably. and from all ive tried on NOTHING FITS. like i had a shirt i got for christmas. a band t shirt. and i loved it because it was so big on me. it was so baggy and so good at hiding my features and like no clothes ever do that for me anymore. none. but i wore thaft shirt yesterday and it was TIGHT ON ME! like my whole goddamn body shape was visible!!!!! there was a goddamn motherfucking belly button indent!!!!!!! thats the sign of a shirt thats just too small. and if that shirt is too small, then all of my t shirts and button ups are too small to a degree more than just "unflattering" but rather "unwearable because you literally cannot just go around with your belly peeking out of your shirt at all times". and its like i dont know what to do! because apparently that means im a 3x in shirts now and they dont sell that size at stores like target and shit but its going to cost so much money to replace my wardrobe with clothes i wanna wear? clothes that dont make me feel like killing myself? like i just need eight shirts. thats all i need. i just need eight shirts if i do laundry once a week. but even then thats like 400 dollars? i only have 2 button ups that fit and i need to wear a button up every day or i die. and i dont know what to do. i just dont have the money to wear clothes that fit for summer. and i cant lose any weight as long as im drinking half a liter of vodka a night but im certainly not going to stop drinking half a liter of vodka a night so i dont know what to do :( i like being big huge large but ive gotten quite frankly too big huge large :(

[antipathy-hank-posting]

it guives me expe rience eithrer way

probabvly the same for my t win

i fuckng hat e nevda

[petamouthnmpurasou]

Forkoje pidhin duke mendu mu

Tu thaft ajo qe ke παπαρα (:

[eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes]

wish I didn't feel ill in my brain thaft would be mmmm cool

[citrusitonit]

no no itgs oky its oky its okay its just one JSUT ONE RYYEGGAHHHH FUCJG U ADTER I HATE U ASTER REEAAGGHHH WHGY WOUG U DOT THAFT O TME

[thetoaddaddy]

❛ before you do anything, try this and tell me what you think. ❜ -Do cooking the good stuff for her favorite toad.

It was a strange but nice change. Jiraiya is used to taking care of himself, cooking for himself, all of that stuff. When Do offered to cook for him he was pleasantly surprised. She was focused on every little detail. It was cute. She was concerned with what he thought or liked.

Chopsticks full of work in progress things were offered to him. He ate each one happily. Even if he assured her it was delicious she still frowned and pattered back to the kitchen. A perfectionist chef. There are worse things.

He came up behind her as she finally put something on a plate. It smelled amazing and looked even better. He had a hunch but seeing it all together just filled him up with that giddy happy warmth. She made him his favourite.

“Shut up. Don’t say anything and just try it, jiji.” She huffed at him offering a freshly fried nugget dipped in sauce.

Jiraiya happily bites it. A wonderful taste coated his mouth. All the things he likes about kiragi chicken and more. “Mm!” He hums happily as he chews. “Thafts goord!” He says around the morsel.

With lips coated in grease he bent down and planted a kiss on her cheek. He knows full well she wouldn’t appreciate that but good work deserves a reward!

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

yahjwfahjf thaft souinds absolutely perfect :3333 -🤍

I'm so glad you agree ❤️🩵

[suicideenthusiast]

:( is thaft a jnsult

How do i top my boyfriend?? I dont know how ill see him that way, i haven't done it with him before

ill do it. since you are so fucking complicated

[scn-thedog]

oK L grgGGgfr gRRR I NEED THAT BOOK ODHSHRHEHE GRRRR HRAHHHB KMSMSS SKMSSSS KILL MYSELF GGGGG FOR THAFT HGFAHHHHH IMMA OH NY HFOIFIFIOFIFOII GRAHHHH OH SHSITTYYHGGGTFFT GRGRRRF

[aratakatism]

i forgot again umm Fish of day. manta ray!wont believe why i picked this one anyways i Cant believe they count as fish

bonus you get earless seals!!

THAFTS A FISHV??? these seal look so dumb i lovae them

[the-river-is-right-there-chopper]

So listen up now, because I am right and you are not

No wonder Thaft didn't respond to him, I mean how do you counter that

fight fight fight