#thE FACT THAT I LOVE YOUR BLOG MAKES IT BETTER HHHH

[causenessus]

HI MY LOVELINESS!! good morning afternoon or evening!! I HOPE YOUR DAY GOES WELL OR IS WELL! (whenever you read this) and i hope you’ve eaten!! make sure you eat !! you’re actually the cutest like when i first read ur response i was smiling and giggling like UR SO CUTE STOP i miss you tons too my love literally like that other night when i was really tired i was like I MISS NESS SO MUCH so even in my tired state i was writing up a response for you because i <3 you so very much (NOT UR FAULT BTW)(LIKE I GENUINELY MISS YOU SOMETIMES WHEN YOU DONT POST ANYTHING IM LIKE D: I MISS NESS) like i’m like oh she’s probably working or at school so she won’t be active until at night but i miss her very much the aura is different when you’re not around <//3 (in a good way ofc ofc as always) i’m writing this one a bit early today so you can wake up to see it in ur inbox! I GOT SO SAD WHEN YOU WERE LIKE “i haven’t seen anything from mango anon yet” LIKE MY HEART CLENCHED so im writing this one up early for you since i unfortunately have another 9-5 to tend to(GRUELLING GRUELLING SHIFTS) like i literally just came back from my “vacation” and THEYRE SCHEDULING ME SO MUCH HHHH literally blink once if i should quit(i blinked just now)

im really curious now i wanna try almond butter! USUALLY im not a nut person(?) because like my brother has a treenut allergy so we usually don’t have that in the house BUT YOUVE HAD TO SM AND NOW I WANNA TRY! (pokebowl and almond butter now on my try list) ALSO STOP NESS UR LITERALLY THE CUTEST I LOVE YOU TOO <3333333333333333333 (releasing my love and affection through the threes) like you’ve become part of my daily life now where like I DONT EVEN USE MY JOURNAL ANYMORE LOL(i barely used it in the first place) but it feels nice to kind of talk about my day and it’s even better to read about your day! like it’s part of my daily routine now i swear my day goes like

wake up!

eat!

catch up on ness’ blog

catch up on the hashtags i follow

read ness’ response(actually this is funny because i read your response TWICE typically) (i read it when you first post it then i read it again when i write a response)

write response to ness

eat

sleep!

AND I LOVE IT i think reading your response is like the best part of my day because for one i get to learn more about you and two like i just I JUST LOVE READING WHAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY LIKE it genuinely makes my day when you write long responses back i read every single part of it and i always make sure im like sitting down so i can fully pay attention to what you have to say like you’ve become such a priority in my life now it’s just (omg i’m becoming sappy too now)(SAPPY SEASON WOOOO) BUT WE ARE SO TWIN FLAME !!! SO SOULMATES SO TWIN FLAME like mango anon is in love with ness everyone mango anon is ness’ (ness’ mango anon forever)

ALSO PLS THE CHEFS AT YOUR WORK?? let me just go guard dog mode here rq like maybe they just think they’re being nice but sometimes it’s weird AND I GET IT because like it’s nice to be appreciated at work or complimented but it’s also kinda weird and uncomfortable because it’s like ermmm okay! you’re old enough to be my father but i’m gonna just try to pretend not to notice that !! fortunately or unfortunately there’s not a lot of men at where i work and i think like idk most of it has to do with the fact that we specialize(?) in women’s clothing so like there’s more women workers but i do have one male manager which is like my least favourite manager LOL not anything he really did but idk i’m just closer with my other managers(there’s 3 in total) because it’s hard to kind of be chill with him like heyyyy sir manager yup everything is fine here! and sometimes i feel like he just has higher expectations for the store but it’s like sir we get paid minimum wage, i will not be breaking my bone for these customers or this store very much respectfully!! BUT HHHH THE WEIRD OLD MEN INTERACTIONS WHEN UR A MINOR?? GET AWAYYYYY like they could be ur father or damn UR GRANDFATHER like AHHHH its so weird and YEAH THE HOUSEWIFE COMMENT LIKE PLEASE SIR PLEASE but also with our name tags its like if you’re 18 and under you get a little sticker that says minor on it now (like i think they started doing that at the beginning of the year?) i still don’t wear it because i get so caught off guard when i hear “have a good day mango anon!” i literally WHIP my head over like ??? oh!! umm!! you too!! ITS JUST WEIRD TO ME LIKE IT SHOULDNT BE?? but i’m also scared of them putting in a bad review for me with my name so there’s that too LOL

I THINK PROPS IS EASY TOO BUT LIKE i meant kinda like it’s more hands on i guess? in a way? like you got to be more involved IM NOT TOO SURE but yeah props and runners were like very very popular when i was in the play and i just kind of assumed it was because they liked being on stage but not really on stage as a cast? if that makes sense? I THINK LIGHTS AND SOUND IS DEFINITELY INTIMIDATING LOL because like one mistake and everyone just looks at the booth (IK WHAT UR TALKING ABT WITH THE BOOTH!!)(also i get the caps like why are we shouting)(I LIKE SHOUTING THOUGH) like the little booth that’s behind the audience with a separate secret little door and like the two windows for the lights and the big window in the middle where the motherboard is (sorry that made no sense) but that’s how my little area looked! for my crew there was 2 people on sound plus the stage manager did help out sounds a bit usually (more like she would stand behind us and loom over us most the time) and lights i think we had like a lot more people but they were all in like the upper years so when they all graduated we just had two or three lights people (idk one of them never really showed up) I HATE WORKING WITH PEOPLE TOO THOUGH! especially if they’re slow because like i know what i’m doing so i’m just there sitting waiting for them to do something and i don’t wanna be arrogant like erm actually it’s this one! SO I JUST SIT IN SILENCE but i swear if i was in theatre with you as my lights duo i would cry(with love) like it would’ve made my experience so much better because literally after my first year i felt like a BABYSITTER LIKE AFTER THE SENIOR LIGHTS PEOPLE LEFT I WAS LITERALLY A BABYSITTER(okay time to stop shouting it is not that deep)(IT IS DEEP TO ME THOUGH) also theatre kids do yap SO MUCH but like sometimes it’s too too much where i miss my cues and the director looks up at our little booth like waiting for the next scene to come on and i literally get so embarrassed LOL but it’s so awkward when the director is literally yelling at a certain group then switches up right after like okay everyone! let’s go from scene 23! LIKE OKAY IM JUST GONNA ACT LIKE IM NOT EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED but oh my god the panic attack?? no because theatre environment is so so toxic like i swear it just automatically comes with being in tech theatre because i forgot if i said this already but one time our director was keeping us late and we were literally HUNGRY because like we didn’t expect rehearsals to go out so late and one of the cast members literally fainted because we didn’t get any breaks!! so it was probably the lights overwhelming her or idk MAYBE THE FACT SHE HASNT EATEN but it was so terrifying and scary then the director was like erm okay ill order you guys pizza let’s all take a break like YOU THINK?? it was so so scary like thankfully she was okay but its like DAMN it takes a cast member fainting to get a break like that’s crazy

PLS WE WOULD LITERALLY DOMINATE AS A LIGHTS AND SOUND DUO IDC!! the professionals can step aside and see how WE do it because i know we would kill it like put us on like phantom of the opera or like hamilton or something LOL(like i unironically love hamilton)(NO SHAME AT ALL I WILL RECITE EACH MUSICAL ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD) also you were 100% right because during show nights she was NOT louder like you did not save anything please get out of here with the vocal rest excuse because miss girl you were NOT LOUDER like i could see the colors on my stage managers face DRAIN when she had her first scene because like it’s so terrible when someone is a good actor but they’re so BRATTY AND STUCK UP LIKE PLEASE!! (the pent up rage is so real because i feel like i could make a podcast and just RANT about this on and on)(i will never forget you shirley holmes actor i still have rage over you)

ALSO THE SHIFTING DISCORD IS SO FUNNY LOL i always wondered if shifting actually worked?? like the discord i joined was just for online gaming so we did a lot of minecraft, roblox, phas! and they moved to VR but i literally was too broke for VR so id always just watch someone stream it LOL or me and sock would just play minecraft(sock if ur out there im still very very sorry)

ALSO OMG I CANT BELIEVE U REMEMBER? like i feel like you get a lot of asks like daily so i was like omg i wonder if she’d remember this like i can not scroll down to find it because i literally just fill your blog now LOL but i genuinely remember being so like IDK I JUST FELT SO SOFT AND LOVING LIKE IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT? i didn’t wanna like bother you or overwhelm you so much but i was like ness seems so piled up with everyone right now i hope she’s taking care of herself and eating :( and that’s what awakened me out of my little mango peel but like LITERALLY UR JUST THE SWEETEST LIKE I KNOW IVE SAID THAT SO MUCH BUT LIKE UR LITERALLY <333333333333333333333333333333 like google what are synonyms for sweet bcuz like real real realness you’re literally one of my favourite people actually i lied UR MY FAVOURITE PERSON EVER LIKE genuinely reading ur responses are the best part of my day and like if some days you are too tired to reply DO NOT EVEN WORRY AT ALL! the main thing i always wanna get across is like i want you to eat and i want you to take care of yourself and have a good day because you deserve nothing but the best! like not everyday can be a good day unfortunately but i want you to have the closest to a good day everytime!

ANYWAYS ITS TIME TO WRAP IT UP AND GO TO SLEEPPP!! but ness literally if i had a genie wish i would dedicate three of those wishes to you like i would wish for you to always have a good day, for you to have good health and GOOD WEALTH!! like i would fish the moon with a measly little fishing rod for you and i would fetch stars for you with my BARE HANDS!! i love you very much and i hope you have the bestest day ever and everything goes well <3333 make sure to eat and take care of yourself!! and you should totally just fly here anyways !! I WOULD BE UR HOUSEWIFE AND FOLD UR CLOTHES PERFECTLY FOR YOU AND GET YOU ALL THE ALMOND BUTTER AND BAGELS THE WORLD CAN OFFER <333 DONT WORRY ABOUT BEING TOO SAPPY OR YAPPY!! there can never be too much sap and yap when it comes to you my love so do not worry at all! you have the bestest bestest day ever and i can’t wait to hear from you again !!! xoxoxo

AAAAAA MANGO ANON OKAY NOW I CAN FRFR SAY I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH OMG I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY??? WHY WAS I SO TIRED OH YES I WAS OUT UNTIL 9PM HOLD ON I MAY DELVE INTO THAT but oh my goodness good evening mango anon i cannot tell you how much i've missed you and the way i've also been formulating my entire response to you over these past two days like yesterday i came home and was like "I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL MANGO ANON" and then passed out </3 BUT MY HEADACHE IS GONE!!! AND I AM ALIVE AND WELL AND EATING "DINNER" (it's 10 pm. it's the same thing i ate for breakfast bc I'M SO TIRED 😭 I'M SORRY MY HEAD IS SO JUMBLED I WILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE THIS SIMPLE TO FOLLOW!!!)

aaa i literally hate how i've had to move like answering all my asks to like 10 pm at night bc i am just not alive during the day and the THOUGHT that i will be BUSIER september-novemeber is KILLING ME (and actually that's all started already, "that" ofc being my stage managing duties at my old high school </3 CAN U TELL MY HEAD IS JUMBLED I'M SORRY HOLD ON WITH ME I'M HOLDING YOUR HANDS AND KISSING THEM RN MANGO ANON MWAH <33) i hope that your 9-5 went well!! AND OFC DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SENDING IN ASKS BY ANY CERTAIN TIME!! i am just happy to see messages from you everyday (AND OBVIOUSLY ALSO NO PRESSURE TO SEND SOMETHING EVERYDAY!! I JUST LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ANY DAY WE DON'T INTERACT </33 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TORN I WAS ON GOING TO SLEEP OR TRYING TO ANSWER YOUR ASK LAST NIGHT UGHHGFHKJDHGKFD)

I AM BLINKING SM RN LIKE WAIT I'M GOING TO DO THOSE 2020 QUARANTINE TIKTOK REACTION EMOJIS 👁👄👁 ➖👄➖👁👄👁 ➖👄➖ 👁👄👁 ➖👄➖ 👁👄👁 ➖👄➖ I AM BLINKING!!! U SHOULD QUIT!! WATCH THE BUSINESS CRUMBLE WHEN THEY LOSE THEIR BEST WORKER 🔥🔥🔥🔥 COME WORK WITH ME AT MY LITTLE FRAME RETAIL JOB!! <333 and in all seriousness PLEASE DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! 9-5s are GRUELING so please make sure to take breaks and eat and drink lots of water!!!! and make sure you get proper rest especially after i KNOW u have to deal with so many people i am so sorry for u </3

I'M GOING TO CRY AT YOUR SCHEUDLE AND EVERYTHING OMG HOLD ON WHERE DO I EVEN START <333333333333333333333 I AM ALSO EXPRESSING ALL MY LOVE THROUGH THOUSANDS OF 3S FOR YOU!!!!!!!!! AND YOU'RE SO SWEET I LOVE YOU <3333333333 AND AA!!! i'm glad we're both like influencing each other's food lol 😭 AND I ATE THAT STUPID IMITATION CRAB POKE BOWL AGAIN TODAY BC I'M LITERALLY SCRAPING BY ON LIFE RN AND JUST TRYING TO EAT AS MANY PROPER MEALS AS POSSIBLE and now everytime i eat i think of u!!! <3333 i love almond butter because i hate the taste of peanut butter and just like,,, everything about it,,,, and i DON'T like normal almond butter i love cinnamon almond butter!! it like balances out the really prominent nut taste but idk <3 IF YOU TRY IT LMK WHAT YOU THINK!! but i totally get like your brother having the tree nut allergy and everything!! my dad's allergic to onions so i've just never grown up using/eating onions i'm not used to it at all,, like if a recipe calls for onions i immediately just replace it with more garlic it's crazy!!! AND YOUR SCHEDULE AGAIN PLEASE OMG :((((

mine is something like this:

wake up -> eat -> school </3 -> try and write/read asks -> work -> drive home -> eat -> answer asks (mango anon <3) and try to write -> sleep

it's always try to write bc i'm always SO pressed for time or tired 😭😭😭😭 like jsyk this is the only ask i'm answering today bc i want to finally draft the tonic chapters that were SUPPOSED to come out today if my wifi wasn't horrible AND I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH AND I GENUINELY LOVE TALKING TO YOU SO SO MUCH MANGO ANON I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT LIKE ENJOYING TALKING ABOUT YOUR DAY AND I ALWAYS FORGET TO JOURNAL AS WELL BUT THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER <3 I LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAYS AND REPLY AND ALL THAT STUFF IT IS SO FUN!!! AND LIKE OFC I LOVE EVERYONE AND WILL EVENTUALLY GET TO THEIR ASKS <3 BUT U AND ME????? WE'RE SPECIAL TWIN FLAMES SOULMATES <333 AND I HAVE BEEN DYING TO ANSWER YOUR ASK FOR LIKE A DAY NOW!!! everytime i go into my inbox and read "hello loveliness!!!" I START KICKING MY FEET AND IMMEDIATELY CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME SO I CAN START DRAFTING A RESPONSE GENUINELY I CANNOT EXPLAIN TO YOU THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN MY BRAIN RELEASES EVERYTIME I READ THOSE WORDS!!! i am so obsessed with the nickname loveliness by the way you are so smart and i am so honored and you make me so so happy i love you mango anon <333

AAA PLEASE AND LIKE I GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN TWO TABS ONE TO READ YOUR ASK AND THE OTHER TO ACTUALLY START ANSWERING YOUR ASK IF THAT MAKES SENSE?? (or i just scroll up to read whatever part of your ask i'm on next) BUT SEEING HOW YOU TALKED ABOUT US BEING TWIN FLAMES RIGHT AFTER I ALSO MENTIONED IT?????? THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WE ARE SO CONNECTED AA!!! and i absolutely love hearing about your days and learning more about you!!! please i love hearing every detail <3 AND NOW U HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT TODAY AND TOMORROW SINCE I UNFORTUNATELY WASN'T ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR ASK YESTERDAY!! (no pressure <3 but literally was at work and i was like "I WONDER HOW MANGO ANON'S DAY WAS </333 I HOPE SHE TELLS ME TOMORROW </33333") aaa i cannot tell you how much you genuinely mean to me and how much you cross my mind every single day!!! i literally consider you such a good friend like i love you so so much mango anon i'm so so happy to hear from you <33 (back on sap yap again) YOU ARE MY MANGO ANON FOREVER!!! AND I SWEAR THE WAY WE'RE JUST SAYING THIS ALL TO EACH OTHER 😭😭 LIKE I DIDN'T EVEN READ THE WHOLE PARAGRAPH YET BC I IMMEDIATELY HAVE TO YAP/TYPE DOWN ALL MY THOUGHTS THE MOMENT I GET ONE WHILE READING SO I JUST GOT TO THE PART ABOUT U SAYING I'M A PRIORITY IN MY LIFE RIGHT AFTER I HAD MY ENTIRE YAP SESSION ABOUT YOU BEING LIKE A BEST FRIEND TO ME 😭😭 YOU'RE SUCH A PRIORITY IN MY LIFE AS WELL!! ONCE AGAIN WHY I'M JUST ANSWERING YOUR ASK TODAY BEFORE I SLEEP <33 BECAUSE YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND I FEEL SO COMFY WITH YOU YK LIKE AAA JUST EVERYTHING I LOVE YOU SM MANGO ANON <33

and HELP you're so right like some of them are old enough to be my father and even the younger ones....it's still weird... 😭 like i'm not even kidding the watermelon thing was real!!! someone brought in watermelon to my restaurant job and my mom asked if i wanted some and i was like "if u cut it for me ♡" and she did and then this one sushi chef was like "i can cut more for her" and it's this sushi chef that's def had a crush on me since i came back to work there but like.....no bro i don't want watermelon cut by your fishy nasty hands sorry....LMAO I FEEL BAD BUT ALSO I CAN'T BC YEAH THEY JUST STARE WHILE I TRY AND EXIST 😭 I GET THE ICK WITH MEN SO QUICKLY IT'S NOT GOOD

but NO bc like male managers in things like a mainly female clothing shop like girl what r u doing there??? like at least imo i just cannot wrap my head around it like ik u did not become a full fledged adult just to manage a women's clothing place when ur a MAN like i just do not understand it AND I WOULD BE UNCOMFY WITH HIM TOO!!! ALSO THE MINOR STICKERS ON YOUR NAME TAGS???? 😭 i just cannot believe they have to clarify that like i'm not sure if men being creepy is such a problem at your work they have to do that??? but i'm sorry nonetheless 😭 AND I TOTALLY GET IT i remember being in like a target line once (bc self checkout was closed </3) and so it was the guy in front of me's turn to get his items scanned and IMMEDIATELY off the bat he's looking at the cashier's nametag being like "oh what's your name? how do you say it?" and she had to tell him and mind you it's like 9:45 she def just wants to go home and does NOT wanting to be interacting with this sunburned man buying like aloe vera and idk febreeze i forget what the other thing was and then he ALSO told her "have a good night [cashier's name]" LIKE DON'T USE PEOPLE'S NAMES YOU DON'T KNOW THEM IT'S JUST WEIRD??? IDK

AND OMG YES OKAY TECH TIME I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL U BUT LET ME RESPOND TO U FIRST!! OOOO the thing u said about like props people like being on stage but not as actors is CRAZY but SO TRUE like i'm sorry but most of those people are def attention seekers....like not them purposely trying to be seen in the wings and dancing and all that stuff like get out bro (once again unresolved tech anger coming up again) ALSO NO YOUR BOOTH DESCRIPTION MADE PERFECT SENSE!!! I FORGET WHERE I WENT THAT THEIR BOOTH WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT where was i????? hold on.... OH i think i was at this university i visited when i thought of going to college for lights bc their soundboard was behind the audience but the lightboard and stage manger and like projections were all above in like a booth ABOVE the audience idk how to describe it i'm sorry 😭😭😭

my school was so poor and sketchy like the booth had a door and a sliding window (there were like four levels for no reason bro. so that it was sound proof or something???) and basically like the floor was littered with condoms (unused. they were from our sound people bc we literally put our mic packs in sound packs to keep actors' sweat from ruining them and we have like an infinite amount of condoms bc someone years ago sent it to us as a joke. i one put a condom on my hand so i could unscrew a light bulb that was still hot and put in a red light bulb so we could use it during shows. the condom was not a good glove btw it broke on me ANYWAY), the table our lightboard sat on was NOT made for it so the board like hangs off the counter LMAO and the two monitors we have for it (our board is OLD literally like an element one. she's not advanced at all) barely fit with that giant thing on the counter AND UGH THERE'S SO MUCH SORRY but anyway the counter it all sits on is also way too tall so ig when the school first opened they built this creaky af platform and then screwed in literal auditorium chairs (so like the ones where you push the cushion down you sit down yk??? or else they flip back up IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT SORRY) so like that platform is SO creaky everyone can hear anyone walk across it or just sit up from the chairs OMG IT WAS HORRIBLE AND THEN THERE WERE LIKE THOUSANDS OF TOOTSIE ROLL WRAPPERS IN THE CEILING AND BLACK MOLD SO I ALWAYS ENDED UP GOING CRAZY LIKE I WAS LITERALLY HIGH OFF OF SOMETHING EVERYTIME I WAS UP THERE (people also sometimes like hotboxed in there so maybe i was literally getting high but WHEN I TELL U BRO IT WAS CRAZY IN THERE IT WAS SUCH A SAFETY HAZARD IN EVERYWAY I'M GOING TO STOP YAPPING BUT THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG WITH THAT BOOTH)

"ERM ACTUALLY IT'S THIS ONE" is SO REAL LMAOOO like i do not have the patience to teach people like i will show them how to do something and if they don't understand....well i'll try my best to explain it but i am NOT sitting thru watching them figure out things they can watch me do it 50 more times at the speed of light and force themselves to understand what i'm doing 😭 (also your stage manager just looming behind u is SO REAL LMAOOAO) AND OMG I FORGOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YES LIGHTS AND SOUND IS SO INTIMIDATING BC MISTAKES ARE SO PROMINENT AND OBVIOUS AND YES LIKE SOMETIMES MY CUES WOULD GET MESSED UP and my director would be like "ness this isn't the right lighting cue mimimiyapyapyap" and i'd be like "I KNOW YOU DERANGED 50 YEAR OLD MAN STFU AND LET ME DO WHAT I NEED TO DO CAN U SEE HOW I'M OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO MAKE THIS A BLACKOUT I DIDN'T NEED YOUR INPUT" (dw this stuff is def deep. like unprocessed trauma that we are getting thru together rn) (mango anon and ness sound + lights duo for the win oml literally) AND IT'S THE WORSE on like the first day of tech week and no one's given me my cues yet so like actors are waiting on ME to bring up lights EVERY SINGLE SCENE or they have to wait for me to write cues and i'm like "I'M TRYING TO GO FAST GUYS I'M SORRY U HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME </333" AND UGHHGHGH HEARING ABOUT YOUR ACTOR THAT FAINTED IS SO REAL AND SICKENING like theatre is so sketchy and like....def not legal/oscha approved (which is a given but like THE WAY THEY KEEP US SO LATE AND NEVER GIVE US FOOD?? THAT HAS TO BE A VIOLATION SOMEWHERE) like i could FEEL that girl's hunger omg i def understand her tho (AND THAT'S WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF MANGO ANON!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING GOOD AND EATING WELL <3)

LMAOOOAOAOAO WAIT MANGO ANON AND NESS RELIVE THEIR THEATRE TRAUMA/RAGE MOMENTS PODCAST WHEN??????? WHAT IF WE QUIT OUR RETAIL JOBS AND START A PODCAST I THINK WE COULD DO IT AND MAKE MILLIONS LMAOAOAO AND THEN WE ADVERTISE OUR SKILLS LIKE "anyway...since we went thru so much...who wants us....broadway????? hamilton???? u guys looking for new sound and lights people????? we're right here 😌"

ANYWAY LET ME GO ON THIS SIDE TANGENT RQ MB I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE THOUGH AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND 😭😭 but the reason i say that my duties for stage managing for my old high school has already started is bc like,,, technically everything starts september 5th but my tech director asked me to come in yesterday, today, and tomorrow BC GET THIS OMG i cannot even sorry like idek what to say but that school and the theatre department and him are SO sketchy like please bro i am a fresh young adult AND MAN HAD ME COME IN TO SUPERVISE HIS TECH CLASSES. MANGO ANON. I WAS SUBBING FOR A CLASS AND I HAVE NO PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE OR ANY DEGREE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT I CANNOT BE DOING THAT. like he had an "actual sub" in that class but she handed me his papers bc he was like "yeah he said u were going to be teaching the kids how to use drills" and i was like "oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃" sorry i am typing this with tears in my eyes because like what is my life bro how do i get into these situations AND YK WHY HE WAS GONE?????????????? HE'S PULLING THE PLUG ON HIS FATHER IN LAW BRO omg. (if any of my irls see this like it would be so obvious who i am BUT IDC BC I'M HAVING A CRISIS RN LIKE WHAT WAS I DOING IN THAT SCHOOL) i can't i'm sorry and like i can't make up any of this either like when i was a STUDENT he would also do this where if he was ever absent he usually just had the "tech mom" of the department in charge bc yk how it is. you join tech and u sign ur life away so i was always in tech classes and then i did tech after school and </333 BUT ANYWAY YES SO I HAD TO TEACH KIDS HOW TO USE A DRILL AND I WAS DYING AND JUST SO ?????????????????????????????? AND THEN THE REASON I WAS SO TIRED YESTERDAY IS BECAUSE I GOT LOOPED INTO HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS FOR LIKE THE ENTIRE DAY WHEN I PLANNED TO LEAVE EARLY BC I HAD A HEADACHE AND WANTED TO WRITE BUT INSTEAD I SAT IN MY CAR WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF THEIR HOUSE FOR FIVE HOURS AND WE COMPLAINED AND GOSSIPED ABOUT A SINGLE MAN THE ENTIRE TIME (i can't remember how much i've said about him or what u remember and ik it's hard without names and for that i'm sorry but it's the same guy i was talking about that i used to like and was helping me like clean and blah blah blah WHATEVER the point was he had like 10k problems and was hurting EVERYONE around him so we went into great detail and study about that and idk. we connected the dots and realized he was literally just regina george and then found out he's literally said before he kins regina george and like ?????????????? HOW DO YOU KIN REGINA GEORGE??????????????????????????? anyway. sorry. that probably makes no sense but just know ground was broken last night)

OKAY CONTINUING ON bro i honestly have no idea like i never shifted but i have a friend who said she did but like..... who knows..... trust issues xxx LMAOOO THE WAY I RECOGIZED THE NAME SOCK IMMEDIATELY FROM WHEN YOU FIRST TALKED ABOUT HIM I LOVE HOW DEEP THE LORE GOES i also played roblox and minecraft with some of the people on there 😭😭 one of these days i'll pull up screenshots of really funny moments in that discord server bc they're lowk actually funny like let me just tell u one now but basically we had a literal account named jesus christ in that server so this was a conversation in that server once:

random person: i'm going to shift today

jesus christ: u can't do it

random person: what

(JESUS CHRIST MEANT TO SAY "U CAN DO IT" BUT MESSED UP IT WAS SO FUNNY AT LEAST TO ME 😭 AND I CAN'T TELL IF IT WAS BC YK IT'S LIKE JESUS CHRIST, PFP IN ALL, OR THE TYPO)

AND AA YES OFC I REMEMBER!! MY BRAIN IS VERY GOOD AT REMEMBER SMALL NICHE DETAILS <3 AND ALSO YOUR ASKS WERE ALWAYS SO SWEET I COULD NEVER FORGET THEM!!! THEY LITERALLY STAY WITH ME FOREVER AND MAKE ME SO HAPPY <3 the "little mango peel" is SO CUTE AWH AND PLEASE!!!!! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE AND I THINK YOU'RE SO SWEET!!! YOU'RE THE RIPEST BEST MOST PERFECT MANGO OUT THERE MANGO ANON <33 YOU ARE WHAT EVERY MANGO ASPIRES TO BE AND WHAT PEOPLE HOPE TO GET WHEN THEY BUY MANGOS <3 YOU ARE THE BEST AND SWEETEST AND MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER AND YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!!! ik i shouldn't play favorites and like i tried to play it off.....but obv u are like i'm only answering your ask today because i love you so much!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 and i want you to eat and take care of yourself too please!!! i love to hear about what you eat and your days so definitely please always update me!!!!! <3 i hope that you had a good day today!! and i can't wait to hear about it tomorrow hopefully <3

AND HAVE A GREAT SLEEP MANGO ANON!!!! IF I HAD A GENIE I WOULD WISH U COULD FLY TO ME OR ME TO YOU (that might be better. i hate the u.s. also hope this isn't weird 😭😭😭😭) AND WISH YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD AND WEATH!!! AND THEN WE COULD BE LIKE THE MOST AMAZING DUO LIKE HAIKYUU SMAU ROOMATES TYPE BEAT BC ROOMATES IN HQ SMAU ARE ALWAYS AMAZING LIKE THAT COULD BE US!!! i would get the moon and the universe and every single thing for you mango anon i love you so so much!!! PLEASE MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! I WILL ALSO GLADLY BE YOUR HOUSEWIFE OR GUARD DOG FROM THE CREEPY MEN <33 I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!! YOU'RE THE BEST <33 THANK YOU FOR BEING THE KINDEST COOLEST PERSON EVER <3333 I LOVE YOU <333 AND HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!!

[tutantmeenageneetleteetle]

I am SO GLAD to have found your blog hhhh💕💕💕

Can I request how the boys would be with a very oblivious crush? Like no matter what they do the crush doesn't seem to get what they mean? Who would end up being direct and who would need a little nugde in the right direction?

Also can you please add how Splinter would act/think, seeing this whole scenario going on? I loved the extra you did with the mom like so!! Of it's not too much of course 😊

Hello there! I'm glad you found my blog too! Sorry you had to wait so long, i've been so busy lately... And your wish is my command, a fresh oblivious crush headcanon (+Splinter) coming right up!

Leo

He'd find it the most difficult out of his brothers

He knows how to play the game and the fact that you do not makes it difficult

At first he thinks you don't like him back because you don't catch what he's throwing

Let's he honest, he's not a direct communicator, so even if he found out you just didn't pick up on his hints, you'd have to make the first move

Unless he gets so in love that he just doesn't care if he gets rejected, because he just needs to move on

You'd also have to help him get better at direct communication in general

Raph

He's just so embarrassed and frustrated

He's trying so hard and embarrassing himself in front of his brothers and now everyone knows how he feels, except for you

And ofcourse his brothers are being the f***faces they are and tease him about it a lot

He'll confess pretty quickly though

Both because he's having a hard time handling all these feelings and because he's having a hard time handling the teasing

It would be a very sweet confession that'd make you feel fuzzy inside

Donnie

He's not good at flirting anyways, so it wouldn't really be a problem to him

He'd make all kinds of plans to get closer to you, but everything he does could be seen as friendly

So after a while of him coincidentally being in the neighbourhood or accidentally leaving something at your place, he will confess his feelings for you

It won't go smoothly and he might have to explain it again since he used too many words, but he confessed

Mikey

Is oblivious himself

He's very direct in his flirting and communication so it's not likely there would be a lot of misunderstanding between you two

He'd just straight up tell you

Splinter

He is laughing his ass off

Silently, ofcourse

But he can't help but playfully tease his sons about it

He will 100% try to help them

Put them and their crush together during training, trying to get them to bond like that ( and watch his sons get nervous, which is an added bonus)

He will also invite their crush over for dinner a lot (and vibe check you)

Will also ask their crush about love and the turtles, but like a dad would

He'd also feel kind of bad for his sons, because love is a complicated and difficult feeling

[fonulyn]

Yo Anon, if you write a healthy Metaltango fic please know I would absolutely read the shit out of that! As for what I actually wanted to ask you, the owner of this blog lol, you mentioned you liked Nivannedy most. I am TRYING to hop on this boat but i keep falling off. Could you maybe explain the thought process behind them, too? Give me a push in the right direction :3c? I barely see them interact so im struggling here hhhh

see this, anon? :D when you do write that, please know you've got readers! I'd love to read it too.

honestly I'm always open for recs, in general. don't be afraid to rec your own stuff if you feel like it :3

AND. as for the second part of the ask lol.

haha well, they barely interact, that is true :'D canonically they don't even exchange a single word. so I absolutely understand where you're coming from. but this pairing, for me, isn't about their canonical interactions but it's about their personalities and how i feel that'd be such a good match.

like, by re6, Leon is tired. he is fucking exhausted. everything keeps going wrong, everything keeps going in the same circle, nothing ever changes no matter how many bad guys he puts into the ground. there's always some new asshole peddling with BOWs as soon as he gets rid of the previous one. he still fights. he still goes on. but there's a level of exhaustion to him that he didn't have before.

wherein Piers! he's got the same drive that re2-re4 Leon had! he's all about helping people, making a difference, making the world a better place, destroying the BOWs. he feels so strongly he has a purpose and it is to help make the world brighter. and that is exactly what Leon felt. still feels, deep down, under all the tiredness. like think about Leon in RE2remake, outside Kendo's, saying how he wants to help people? that's the same vigor that Piers has.

(I'm not saying Piers is like identical to young Leon lmao he's so not he's much more hotheaded and hardheaded lol but the drive, man, the passion)

and I think that Piers would remind Leon of why he's fighting. why it's worth it. what it felt like when he was less exhausted and hadn't yet been screwed over a million times. I see this dynamic as something that invigorates Leon, brings him back towards the light, so to speak.

also, there's the fact that Piers is ready to approach people, unafraid to speak his mind, unapologetically himself. wherein Leon has created this sort of a shell around himself that makes him seem withdrawn even as he cares so very deeply. I think Piers would 100% be able to draw Leon from that shell and, you know, help him regain that part of himself he's kept sheltered for so long.

and it's not all about Leon, of course. Leon is the more analytical type instead of the act first think second type. I think Leon would balance out Piers' hot temper so nicely, would help him find ways to center himself so he'd be able to channel that temper better. Leon would be the balancing force wherein Piers would be the driving force.

idek I just think they'd complement each other so well. and I love imagining their dynamic, and how it'd play out.

and, granted, some of it is 100% just my desire to see them both healthy and happy and alive, so I'm definitely channeling that into it as well. i want the two of them happy, and by making them happy together i get two birds with one stone.

but i love this pair so much it's ridiculous ansdfjgnhkjn i know it's a rarepair and that it's got little to no canon to back it up but the endless possibilities!! Piers was recruited in 2010 so he could definitely have known Leon from then on?? the sky is the limit to how many things one can imagine happened :'D

ALSO. the cockpit scene in re6? seriously? Piers has no business looking that worried for someone he barely knows. he's downright panicking. see? canon interaction! sorta lmao let me have this ahah

I'll just shut up now before I write a novel for this. they make me so happy 🥺💖

but hey, anon, no stress :3 you're obviously under absolutely no obligation to like the pair no matter how much poetic i wax about them. i'm so happy to hear you've tried to give them a chance, at least! thank you 💖

[yamagucji]

a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁🤲 yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

[one-abuse-survivor]

before i start, thank you so much for doing what you do;this blog has given me good advice countless times and i really have to thank you for that.

my issues with my parents are that they don't take me seriously. i can literally go up to them and say: "mom/dad, i think i might be autistic or have ADHD (both would be quite likely) can i get that checked out" and list a bunch of examples why i think that and they'll just be "nah, that can't be, you don't seem like that at all" as of i didn't break my mind over it researching it and talking to people who have it to see if we've had similar experiences just to get some kind of reference as to why i feel the way i feel and why i struggle so much with things that so many other people find so easy.

but then, in the following weeks and months (after talking w them) they just randomly point out things about me that kinda annoy them, like me talking out of turn a LOT or me not looking at people or me having trouble focusing if there isn't also music and a movie going at the same time or mom saying that i seem hyperactive to her because i'm always moving my legs or pacing around or rubbing my hands or drumming on the table with pens. things like that (plus a lot more) were the exact things i was telling them about and they just put it off like it's nothing but as soon as it affects and annoys them it's suddenly very real. at this point i'm struggling to talk to my parents about anything even remotely more serious than generic smalltalk and i'm having a hard time believing myself that my struggles are in fact real and i'm not just making them up.

and also on a less related note; the thing i hate most about my parents: if i'm wearing headphones and couldn't understand what a parent was yelling from somewhere else in the house then it's my fault. but if it's the exact same situation but i'm the one calling and they couldn't hear me, then it's obviously my fault too (i kinda get the first one but srsly how could i not wear headphones when they're constantly arguing with my brother in the room next to mine) (either way if one of the scenarios is clearly my fault, then the other shld be clearly their fault bc that's how logic works)

hhhh, this got quite long. i would love to hear your thoughts about this

a continuation from the other ask about my parents not taking me seriously even when i ask them for help with my hardest problems. that ask didn't really go in the direction i had planned but there is so much going on between my parents and me that i really need to talk to someone about

background: i'm around 15-16 rn and have a brother who's 18. primary school was academically very easy for me (lots and lots of great and even perfect grades) but my brother didn't have it as easy (lots and lots of mediocre and meh grades) so my parents really just kinda let me do my thing while they were constantly busy with my brother. so i got really independant and did all of my stuff on my own bc a) i always had done it that way and b) my parents were already busy and stressed. but after my brother got his first computer and got into video games his grades dropped and my parents started constantly arguing with him and taking away his computer and stuff like that so there was always a lot of tension (and i got to a point where i can't handle people yelling; that's what i was referring to with the headphone thingy at the end of the last ask) i don't know if i can go that far and say that my parents kinda neglected me and my emotional needs in favour of saving my brother grades but that's pretty much the way it feels.

i'm now a sophomore (school works a bit different here but i'm the equivalent of a highschool sophomore afaik, here it's just 10th grade) and starting from about mid 8th grade (end of 2018) i've been struggling a lot with self care and upkeep of my already minimal social circle and academic stuff (i'm at the academically highest level of school you could be at my age without skipping any years) and also mental health.

i got quite depressive and started isolating myself and casting away friends and my grades went down a lot, which really disappointed me because my great grades were kind of my trademark thing. but i didn't feel safe talking to my parents because of the huge distance that we built by me "never" needing their help with stuff.

in that time (almost a year ago, our anniversary is in twenty days or so) i got a girlfriend and i'm hella glad that i can talk to her about everything but i feel like i can't just go dump trauma and parent issues on her forever

about last november or so i was at a pretty low point and was suicidal and that's kind of when i snapped and went to my parents to talk so being cast away and having my issues invalidated really really hurt then and made me spiral even deeper and my gf was the only thing keeping me afloat.

i'm kind of a bit better now but i have rebuilt my view of my parents from "idk we never really interact" to "trying to interact or talk is not worth the energy" and needless to say i don't like them that much

oh and i forgot about all the times i got panic attacks and sensory overloads @ school because there are so many people there (1700 students + 200 teachers) and it's loud everywhere and of course asking my parents for what to do if suddenly everything is too bright and too loud and you can't move or talk because of it didn't get me anywhere (and since i didn't know what it was called or how to describe it properly, i didn't really find any Information online either

and just typing this makes me think of so many more things that they did that aren't okay things to do (a lot of gender identity stuff for example because i'm also neck-deep in that) . but writing this has also helped a lot right now. thank you for being there and listening.

and just in case i'm ever gonna pop back in to say something i'm gonna drop a name for easier identifying

sincerely - 🌌 milky way anon

Hi, nonnie! Thanks for the kind words, I'm really glad my blog has been of help ❤️

I'm sorry your parents are making it hard to believe your struggles are real :( you deserve to be taken seriously and to get access to all the help you might need. Just the fact your symptoms are there and you're noticing them and they're interfering with your daily life is enough to get them checked, regardless of if you need a diagnosis/meds/anything else. No one deserves to live wondering if their struggles are worth discussing with a doctor or professional.

And you're right: if one of those things was your fault, then the other should be theirs, logically. But I don't even think it's "your fault" you didn't hear them because you were wearing headphones, to be honest. I think it's just something that happens from time to time and that doesn't warrant getting mad over; I think it's the kind of thing that simply needs to be talked about so everyone in the household knows how to communicate with everyone else without getting frustrated. It's as easy as saying "hey, whenever I put on headphones I'll just text the family group chat to let you guys know I won't hear you. If you need anything in those moments, just text me instead". I do this with my girlfriend sometimes—if we're wearing headphones and we're in the same room, we simply pat each other when we need something and wait until the other takes off their headphones to talk. It really doesn't have to be an issue where anyone is to blame. You're allowed to take steps to feel safe and comfortable in your house without getting punished for it.

But, of course, this doesn't work if the people around you choose to prioritise "being right" and proving you're wrong over a peaceful and healthy cohabitation, which is what most toxic and abusive people do.

As for your second ask, I would say if it feels like your parents neglected you and your needs because they were always focusing on your brother, then it's okay to say that they did. The fact alone that those feelings are there makes you deserving of talking about it and wanting to heal from it; the cause of those feelings doesn't have to be something major, or sound deeply traumatising when you say it out loud, in order to "count". And people whose emotional needs were consistently met don't feel like they weren't.

I've already shared this video before, but if you want some resources on identifying and healing from emotional neglect, I really recommend watching it. Please bear in mind, though, that the video says it's important to not blame parents for emotionally neglecting you, but I don't think that's the message a lot of people need to hear and I think you should allow yourself to feel angry at your parents for not meeting your needs and causing you trauma. That's pretty much the only thing I'd criticise about the video.

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with your grades and mental health lately, nonnie. I had a quite similar experience when I was in high school—I used to always get great grades, but my mental health and trauma put a lot of strain on them (as well as on my social life; I lost a lot of friends in those years) and it was really distressing to see the only thing that made me "worthy" crumble between my fingers like that. I'm still trying to unlearn this idea that your grades define your worth, and it's been really hard.

I'm so sorry your parents weren't there for you when you hit that low 😔 I'm glad your girlfriend could help you stay afloat in that moment, but they absolutely should've been there for you all those times you reached out to them for help with your struggles, and the fact that they didn't is emotionally neglectful of them.

I'm glad you're in a better place now ❤️ I really hope you can find out all the information you need on gender identity and sensory overload and any other issues that might be affecting you. Know that you deserve for your parents to be there for you. You shouldn't have to face any of this on your own, or even with only the support of other people your age. You deserve for them to care. You deserve to have your symptoms checked out. You deserve adult guidance to find resources to help you better understand and manage your struggles.

Sending all my virtual support your way ❤️ and happy belated anniversary to you and your girlfriend!

[seijorhi]

asks :)

hhhh y’all got me cryin over here over your The Final Girl responses 😭 💕

holy shit so i. so i have notifs on and i usually save them all for night so i can go through them and have all my fics to read at night, right? everytime you post i drop whatever i’m doing and immediately start reading and you NEVER disappoint. that slasher fic is AMAZING. your writing style is so suspenseful and it really gets you into what you’re reading and i’m always so excited with your work. amazing job as always !!

sdfgyhgfghjk it was my first time trying to write like proper horror and i was so scared that it was just gonna fall flat or just not be that tense?? so thank you!! i’m really glad you liked it :)

RHI BBY!! PHENOMENAL work as always. the chase? the build up? the faint sense of hope the reader feels for a successful escape only for her to be quite literally shoved back into the devil’s grasp (also the fact that she’s going to give birth to a killer’s child bdishsjsh its a hopeless situation really), and let’s not get started on that closing line. my GOD i got absolute chills. this genre was literally MADE for you holy shit, thank you for sharing your talent ❤️🐦

🥺 bby I’ve missed you!! i spent a long time debating about whether i’d add the pregnancy thing or not, but i’m so glad i did, because it just adds to the awfulness of it all i think, and the reader’s desperation. but thank you sm!! i’ve decided that writing violent psychopaths with soft spots for their darlings is now my fave thing haha

OH MY GOD THE FINAL GIRL IS INCREDIBLE RHI!! I have to ask, did they stumble upon her at the campsite by chance? or was it their goal from the beginning to get her, her poor friends just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time (i think the latter was implied but just wondering!!) also, who’s the baby daddy 👀👀

oh, they definitely knew that the reader and her friends were camping in their hunting grounds, and probably spent a day or so just watching from a distance, waiting - that’s how they knew that the reader was hiding after they’d killed the others. it just so happened to be bad luck that the reader made an distinct impression on the three in that time, and kind of sealed her own fate without even realising it.

as far as the baby daddy goes - i haven’t decided. it’s a one in three chance i suppose, pick your favourite it’s not like it really matters, they’re just gonna keep breeding you until you give ‘em each what they want 👀

hi!! i think the pregnancy aspect of your story is super fascinating bc it’s sort of a double edged sword. on one end, the pregnancy ties her to them, but on the other, the reader could use it to her advantage. threaten to kill or hurt the baby inside of her if they try to do something, maybe that’s why she was protective over it. not that they won’t just a fuck another one into her

this!! very much this!! the reader’s actually kinda torn over the baby - on the one hand she knows it’s innocent, it didn’t ask to be born and for better or worse it is her child - but it’s also theirs, and she’s terrified of what they’ll do - and you’re right, even if she lost/got rid of that one, they have absolutely no issues in knocking her up again, regardless of what she wants

will they be nice to the baby once they’re born 😰

define ‘nice’👀

haha, i’m kidding. they’re not gonna outright hurt it, they kinda have the whole ‘family’ fantasy thing going on, with the reader being barefoot and pregnant, keeping them happy and sated, and when the kids are old enough they’ll get to out hunting with their dads and it’ll be a real fucked up family bonding.

I was thinking abt yandere pairs in Haikyuu and I know there are the more canon-ish pairs like Bokuaka or Iwaoi but I was wondering what your opinion would be on Osamu & Suna sharing a darling?

ooh - I could definitely get behind a Suna/Osamu x reader pairing! 

Omg I loved the slasher fic it was absolutely amazing! Like I’ve read it 3 times already lol. The fear and anticipation and the utter craziness are phenomenal. Question! Akaashi says abt Bo and Kuroo not minding if they get started w/o them. Does this mean they planned from the beginning to abduct the reader? before they killed everyone else? Or did Akaashi just decide? Like how long they knew about the reader before things went down, and if the friends would’ve been spared if she wasn’t there?

so i kinda touched on it above, but they were watching the reader and her friends for a few days and the plan was always (or at least after she caught their attention in all the wrong ways) to leave her alive while killing the others. her friends were always going to die - that much was set in stone the moment they decided to make camp in the woods. but ahhh thank you so much!! you’re very sweet, bby!

RHI! Final Girl? Amazing. Exquisite. 10000/10 👌😫 I was on the edge of my seat the entire time! There’s something about the way you write that just makes me feel the story, ya’ know? God, feral killer Bokuto and teasing, merciless Kuroo were TERRIFYING but cold, calculated Akaashi made my heart level elevate 😰 (all in a very good way I assure you) But can I ask if the trio had been planning that for awhile? Did they see you somewhere and develop a crush? (How did Kuroo and Bokuto react when they came back and saw Akaashi and reader “getting started” without them? 🥵) Thanks for making my Halloween! 🧡

💕💕💕 thank you!!! you guys are being so nice about this fic!!

but it’s kind of funny, because akaashi definitely knew that kuroo and bokuto would both be pissed off to come back and see him and the reader having ‘fun’ without them, but they’re not there to stop him and akaashi low key enjoys winding them up. plus, he wants to be the first to taste her, and he knows bo and kuroo are both selfish and possessive, so he’ll take any opportunity/head start he can get haha. 

RHIIII OML ASDFGHJKL I THINK I MIGHT DIE. That was insanely beautiful! Terrifying but beautiful. *incoherent screaming* YOU'RE DOING GREAAAAT!! YOU'RE ONE AMAZING PERSON!! HERE TAKE ALL MY LOVEEE 💕💕💕💕💕

SDFGHJKHGHJK BBY THANK YOUUUUUU!! you’re gonna make me melt if y’all keep being so damn sweet 😭 ily!!

BRO IN FINAL GIRL WHEN YOU PUT THAT PLOT TWIST I WAS SHAKING ITS SO GOOD

i am a huge sucker for plot twists, i’m glad you liked this one haha

Hi Rhi, just dropping by. Hope you're doing great 😊 Ilysm and take care of yourself 💕💕💕

ily2 bby!! i hope you’re having a good day!

Lol I am shamelessly obsessed with your blog. I saw someone send you an ask saying to not feel self conscious about your smut writing and I agree!! Your stories, no matter how soon the smut starts, are absolutely incredible without the smut carrying it like some other writers on tumblr. However when you do add the actual smut it never disappoints. It’s literally like grade A stuff ya know lol. I feel like I’m reading a mini novel when I read your writing and I love it.

💕 PLS COME GET UR KISSES ANON!! no but seriously thank you, smut is always one of the areas i feel most self conscious about writing and i’m nervous to post it when i do write it, but i’m glad you guys like it (and want more?? maybe??) 💕

[star-puff]

ok so in fear of clogging up the dash i am compiling all the asks i got into one post, i hope no one minds :”)

GHSDLFLSDFLJLK ANON PLEASE I LAUGHED 😭😭😭 unfortunately i am indeed attracted to men (🤢) but sasha would actually very much like a girlfriend rn 💔💔 year long social distancing does things to an already touch-starved soul 💔

and yeah i love my irl friends, but i love my online friends too . very much!!! i ate tons of rice during my break, it really was self-care :3

no because you already know i adore you right . like you have to know by this point you are irrevocably a part of my heart . ALSO SHUT UP I CAN’T BELIEVE I INSPIRED YOU TO START WRITING AND START YOUR OWN BLOG I-- HHHHH T-T as someone also who started their blog because of someone else’s writing i. i’m literally so honored thank you so much .

there are so many points to address in this ask but all of them made me Cry . you are already such an incredible person hhhh thank you for always sending me essays in my inbox and making me smile and just. Caring for me. it literally means the world .

ALSO STOPASFHSALFSFLK I CAN’T TAKE COMPLIMENTS BUT THANK YOU T-T fun fact the day after my breakdown my friends and i went to a parking lot rooftop and did an entire photoshoot LMAOOOO

the post linked

GRRR THAT POST MADE ME SO SOFT I . KIYOOMI TT-TT I LOVE HIM TTT-TTT

thank you for thinking i’m cool and liking my blog! that in turn makes you very cool and swaggy as well :3 ngl “idk how to show affection ... obviously.” made me laugh LMAO the tsukki kin really shone through, but thank you for sending this in anon! thank you for trying to cheer me up in your own way, i appreciate it sm <3

(p.s. it did cheer me up, so it worked :) )

hi anon!! ahhh i’m so glad i comforted you during that time :( i try my hardest to say something meaningful whenever someone comes to me for advice hsflsdkf i’m glad my efforts weren’t in vain :”) my water intake isn’t the Best rn but it’s slowly getting better, and i just bought one of those veggie packs with the dip inside?? yk the ones w celery and baby carrots and broccoli? i’m making my way through that too :3 make sure to take care of yourself too anon <3

hiiiii <3 omg welcome to the blog! you’ll soon find out that when i’m in the right headspace i never learn how to Shut Up HDSLFSDFL but hi thank you for loving my stories 🥺 i am up till 3am writing them so it all balances out HAHAHA (no but fr i’m in no place to say this but pls sleep </3)

i haven’t written much of anything at all in the grand scheme of things but ty for sacrificing sleep to them :”)

NOOOOO YOU’RE SO SWEET I-- 😭😭😭😭😭 clutching this ask to my chest fr i’m forever saving this in my heart . ty i love you so much 😭😭😭😭😭

[kyunsies]

I think you have a lot of love to give to others - I see this a lot in the tags of your mutual's posts (+ I think it's cute how you have tags for some of them) and you always say the nicest things about them or their creations. I've said this before, but I admire your dedication to nursing + this blog - I can tell that you put a lot of work into your creations and they're always so pretty!! Also idk where to put this but your vibes are good and I love reading your tags when you go wild for mx (mostly changkyun, but relatable) skfkdkd. I heard you weren't feeling well today but I hope you were able to rest and you feel better the next day! - 🌱

hello again love <3 ahHHHH u are going to make me cry at all of this bby ;______; i am a person who always sees the good in ppl (until they give me a bad reason otherwise) but really if we are friends i will give u my all ....... i really put others' feelings before my own partly bc i think so poorly of myself sldkfjklf but the other reason is bc like i really just cherish friendships i have (at least i try to) and i would never want to give someone a reason not to feel all of my love :( so thank u for that angel <3 and still i cannot believe u picture me as this dedicated person hhhh like i really do try my best at things like running this blog and nursing but i always have this feeling like i won't amount to anything and that i'm a complete failure :/ i have had some hardships at uni and sometimes i just feel like i'm not doing literally anything right but u saying that i'm just like .......... do ppl really think this of me ? ;______; i don't even know how to accept these nice words sdfkjs just thank u so much for saying such kind words :(

AH MY TAGS i feel like i annoy everyone but fun fact all of my moots go crazy in the tags for the most part as well and i really enjoy seeing paragraph tags sldfsdkf just to see what's on ppl's minds so that's why i kinda just go crazy LKDJFSKLFJ thank u for actually paying attention to my ramble bubbie <3 u can always count on me to go crazy in the tags about changkyun ...... i love that dude so much lately i just cry over him lsdfkjskld why ;______;

anyways thank u for wishing me well angel i really hope i feel better tomorrow :( even tho i'm almost a nurse i am the BIGGEST baby when i'm sick i just want someone to hold me and i hate feeling so poopy ajskddfjs this is why i need a boyfriend preferably changkyun ASAP .............

send me a LONG (or short) anonymous (or not) message saying what you think of me

[sukugo]

tag game!

Rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better. 

tagged by @demon-glittter thank you, love!! 💖💕

What do you prefer to be called name-wise? idk haha. most people just call me fatima and my family calls me fati

When is your birthday? dec 9 (aka today!)

Where do you live? panamá

Three things you are doing right now.

listening to kai’s mmmh

making this post hehe

ig i was in the middle of tagging my posts

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

i’m currently mostly into jujutsu kaisen!

king’s maker

ateez

idk tbh, i tend to just be interested in one thing at a time soo 

How has the pandemic been treating you? it hasn’t changed much of my life bc i never really go out anyways. online classes has been the biggest change, and well i hate them

A song you can’t stop listening to right now? mmmh (kai) and falling (chase atlantic)

How old are you? i turned 20 today! literally what the fuck

School, university, occupation, other? i’m studying psychology!

Do you prefer heat or cold? cold! ig it’s bc i’ve lived in a hot country my whole life adsasad

Name one fact others may not know about you. uuuhh i really can't think of anything

Are you shy? yeah..... it’s hard for me to talk to people, but if somebody talks to me first and gets to know me, i’m pretty unhinged lmao

Pronouns? she/her

Biggest pet peeves? uuhh idk,, ig people who are really picky eaters 

What is your favourite “dere” type? hmmm tsundere ig 

Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. hhhh 1-2 lmao

What’s your main blog? this one!

List your side blogs and what they’re used for. 

@cutiekhei: kpop blog

@wolfgangoldenleonard: king’s maker

@glitteric: aesthetic/inspo

@amralime: notes/bujo

@bloooby: an nsfw blog i made yeaars ago, i dont really use it lmao

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? hmmm idk i’m pretty bad with people ig 😭, i’m pretty weird, and i love talking about sexual stuff!

tagging: @wlwadora-ble @rosesperiwinkleroses @dewberrysolar @coruscatus @ganbare-ganbare @uchiwaka

[kuroopaisen]

Hey Rowan! I just wanted to pop in, I hope everything is okay with you and that your drinking plenty of water and eating well. Taking breaks is always good so I hope your mind hiatus is helpful towards your mental health.

I finished chapter 1 of Cause & Effect and you really hooked me for this story with the last paragraph. I cant wait to read more!! I cant believe that November we'll be getting two series and your fluffvember fics, we are going to be so fed and I love it. I hope uou take care of yourself through this too!! Obviously if you need breaks from your series dont feel like you owe us a new chapter every week💕💕

I hope everything goes well for you for the time being! 💕 (also you really got me falling for iwaizumi with tiny love and im crushing hard on this boy🥺 you really can make me love any chracter I swear)

hhh i could be eating better but!! i’ve upped my fruit intake so!! that’s a positive 

but thank you rachel! 

HHHH some part of me feels the need to apologise for the fact that november is going to be Very Busy for my blog if everything goes to plan. a lot of fluffvember and both series’ are pre-written, so i should be alright throughout the month! but that’s sweet of you to say :( 

honestly writing tiny love is making me go 💕 for him,,, and SDLKJASDKLJ that’s such a big compliment i’m gonna throw something at a wall-- 

[serpentinebrutality]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER. Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

I refuse to put down a ‘Keep reading’.

...Actually I don’t.

1. First name: Hhhh I’ve been strugglin’! But I feel comfortable with Alex.

2. Strange fact about yourself: I got five marks in my left arm you can connect to make an inverted pentagram!

3. Top three physical things you find attractive on a person: Voice, eyes, hair.

4. A food you could eat forever and not get bored of: Duck rice. So good.

5. A food you hate: MY MANS. You better off asking what I don’t hate, lmao. But probably cod fish in any way, sharp or form.

6. Guilty pleasure: P r o c r a s t i n a t i o n

7. What do you sleep in: Actual pajamas for cold months, t-shirts for hot ones.

8. Serious relationships or flings: Neither. F in chat.

9. If you could go back in the past and change one thing about your life, would you and what would it be: Hm. Probably would have punched my dad’s dick, tbh.

10. Are you an affectionate person: VERY RARELY. Saying ‘I love you’ drains my soul and I only like hugging if I initiate it. I do like playing with people’s hands tho.

11. A movie you could watch over and over again: Treasure Planet. Movie has literally saved my life, lmao.

12. Favorite book: Shit, that’s a hard one. Uhhhh, I REALLY liked the first book of the Drizz’t series!

13. You have the opportunity to keep any animal as a pet, what do you choose: I. WANT. GATO.

14. Top five fictional ships [if you are an RP blog, you can use your own ships as well]: In no particular order, Duke/Aria with @chaxticblxnde for sure; then there’s ships like Neji/Tenten (nostalgia ship); Soraka/Pantheon (babies); Jinx/Lux; Synth/Dietrich (her late and only husband); and Nero/Kyrie.

15. Pie or cake: Hmmm. Cake!

16. Favourite scent: Vanilla.

17. Celebrity crush: Andy Black. Judge me!

18. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go: Bottom of the sea.

19. Introvert or extrovert: Introvert.

20. Do you scare easily? I am a scaredy cat who loves horror movies, lmao.

21. iPhone or Android: Android.

22. Do you play any video games? I got plenty for the PS2 and a couple for PS3 but I mostly just play League of Legends and Legends of Runeterra in my laptop.

23. Dream Job: Ugh. It would have been marine biologist.

24. What would you do with a million dollars: Fly over to hang with @chaxticblxnde tbh. THEN SPEND IT ON THE BEAN.

25. Fictional character you hate: Do OCs count??? Cuz MOTHER EDESSA.

26. Fandom that you were once a part of but aren’t any longer: Definitely the creepypasta fandom. Thinking about jumping back in, tho. For the gore.

Tagged by: @chaxticblxnde the absolute goblin. love this bean.

Tagging: steal it!

[mc-amps]

Thoughts on Ray’s Route and Unknown

A crazy long rant >.<

It’s been exactly a year since I finished Ray’s route. I still remember that day quite well. I found it actually kind of romantic that I finished on Valentine’s Day. It was like Saeran was my Valentine. My thoughts on the route at the time were that of anger and joy. Suit Saeran made me furious, but GE Saeran made it better. He made me cry a lot of happy tears. Now that a year has passed, I wanted to talk more about my feelings about the route.

Everyone who knows me knows that I’m passionate about Unknown. Heck, just by looking at my blog, you could probably see that. From the very moment I saw him in the game’s opening movie, I was very curious and excited to see the trouble he would cause. I ended up seeing the prologue bad end on youtube and was like “Dang that’s hot +_+” Idk. I’ve always had a thing for those sweet talking kidnapper villain characters. The ones you know aren’t good for you, but if they ever got their hands on you, they’d cherish you in their own twisted way.

As I played through all of the routes, the part that excited me the most was when Unknown would show up and do bad things. Zen’s route in particular was so thrilling. The fact that he didn’t show up in Jaehee’s route was a bummer, but I was extremely disappointed when he did nothing in Jumin’s route too. Jumin was the one I ended up really liking, so I had been hoping to see my main man duke it out with evil side bae. Unfortunately, that never became a thing T_T

I saw some minor spoilers for Seven’s route, so I knew that Unknown would be heavily involved. I ended up being really disappointed with that route. At the time, I blamed it on Seven’s pushing MC away, but in hindsight, another major factor was that we really didn’t get to interact with Unknown much after the break in. Even during the secret ends, he’s there, but doesn’t really pay much attention to you. I guess I had been hoping to explore things with Unknown and his twisted view on the player. I also really wanted to help him recover after Mint Eye, but Seven took total control with that.

By that point, I had kind of accepted that Unknown wouldn’t be dateable, so I just figured that Jumin was my “true end.” But then the Christmas DLC happened. . .

It.

Was.

AMAZING!!!

Seriously! Unknown’s ending was everything I wanted from him!! He abducts you from the RFA, spoils you with gifts, and ties a ribbon around your neck +_+ He’s menacing and creepy, but still very charming and fun about it. It’s thrilling. My only disappointment was that it was so short, but that sparked the hope that Cheritz had more plans for him. Surely, they wouldn’t include that as the only way to end up with him.

When V’s route was announced, I clung to the hope that they were also going to secretly include a Saeran route. I figured that the route would branch off from the prologue bad end and let us spy on the RFA or something.

So then V’s route came out. Gah…I could go on a huge tangent just about V, but all I will say is that I felt no chemistry with him at all, and grew quite annoyed with all the secrets and shenanigans. Ray intrigued me though. Due to not having enough HG, I had to wait to do V’s route, so seeing Ray’s name in the call card purchase thing and also seeing his little intro bubbles when you first start up game made me feel even more hyped. I was so eager to see what this dude’s deal was. Once I played, I was definitely enamored by his cute creepiness, though I was under the impression that it was Unknown putting on a sweet charade for the MC and would soon show his true colors. It did get to the point where I got a little frustrated with Ray and his lies, because I just wanted him to rip off his suit, ruffle his hair, and reveal his true self. That did end up happening…though much later and not at all how I expected. Anyways, Ray did grow on me more, and I found myself feeling frustrated and agitated once we got separated.

And then Unknown showed up. O. M. G. Did that man show up. I honestly still remember exactly what I was doing when that went down. I was upset about missing a Ray call, but then my friend messaged me and said that I was going to LOVE what was about it happen. I had just gotten out of the shower, and was still in my towel, hair dripping wet when I did the chat and got the phone call. THE PHONECALL!!! That had to be the moment that I feel deeply and madly in love with this man. The way he says that he wants you and even says he will show you the things that Ray wanted to do to you. I was on the edge of my seat. I was screaming, blushing and swooning. Even though he could be quite frightening, it was still very fun. I was so excited to see what would happen, and I even spent the extra HG to call him as much as I could. I was honestly hoping that he would come to the cabin, or that we would at least encounter him in person, but alas… he really wasn’t out all that long T_T

I will say that Ray being worried and upset about the possibility of Unknown hurting MC was quite touching. I really was developing feelings for Ray. I didn’t adore him as much as Mr. Sexy Edgelord, but I still liked him, which brings me to the topic of how Another Story handled Saeran. Yes, I do think that Ray was added to make Saeran “romanceable.” I really don’t see any signs of Ray in the OG game, however, my friend, TK, pointed out that during the secret end when Unknown and child!Saeran seem to have that back and forth and then shoot V, that was dissociation. So that could be a hint about him having DID. And it does make sense that Unknown would have eventually taken complete control by the time the OG timeline takes place. All that’s to say, I really don’t mind Ray. He’s a sweet and cute bebe and his creepy side is pretty fun. He and Unknown have a pretty interesting dynamic too. Both have the same desires for keeping MC while destroying V and Seven. It’s just that they go about it different. Unknown is bold and unapologetic, while Ray keeps things in and is much more gentlemanly. They clash, yet I could see them growing to get along and work together. They would honestly make an amazing team. As you can imagine, I was pretty sad when Ray died and furious at V for still not revealing the truth to Seven. Really V? REALLY!?!

So fast forward to when Ray’s route was announced. I was hyped. Absolutely HYPED. This was the most excited I had been about something in a long time. I preordered the Mint Eye box and then waited, and looked at endless fanart of Ray and Unknown. My predictions for the route was that we were going to save Ray from the fate of Unknown completely taking over. That we were going to teach him what real love was compared to obsession. After all, he acts very clingy and creepy in V’s route, so that seemed to be the problem that needed fixing. I also was highly anticipating what Unknown would do. We would be stuck with him, completely at his mercy. Hhhh +_+ I was also thinking that he and Ray would be constantly switching control and fighting each other. But I hoped that they would learn to accept each other. My main worries for the route were that 1. Unknown would disappear forever at the end. 2. MC would be taken away from Magenta and separated from Ray sometime during the route. And 3. Rika would get all freaky fresh and get in the way. Rika did ruin things, and Unknown did end up disappearing forever…or rather, he ended up not existing at all! But more on that later.

It felt like an eternity, but the box finally came. Waiting for the tracking was pure torture, but once it came OMG Here’s the mail it never fails~ It makes me wanna wag my tail~ When it comes I wanna wail MAAIIIIIIIIL~~~! Looking through the box was an absolute joy. The smiling picture of Ray in his diary melted my heart, and I put all of the pictures in frames. Though I will say I was disappointed about the lack of Unknown content…it should have been a red flag about his fate in the route. Anyways, I was going to start the game at midnight that night. It was around a twelve hour wait, but it felt so. much. longer!!! I remember I was listening to the soundtrack and couldn’t concentrate on anything else. I Am the Strongest hyped me up, I was almost certain that was going to be the song that played when Ray and Unknown fought, but alas… Four Seasons also made me cry. It made me so happy to think that Saeran would get a happy ending with MC T///T I even saw the trigger warning for the route and figured it involved Unknown being kinky and aggressive. Either that or them really delving into Saeran’s childhood abuse… T_T And once again, I was completely wrong.

Speaking of agonizing waits though, playing through those first four days before entering Ray’s route. Torture. Pure torture. I didn’t care about V, or the RFA, I just wanted Ray and Unknown. Once I got to the first new VN, my hands were so shaky and I was tearing up. Ray’s new faces were amazing, though at the time I hadn’t realized that the Ray I knew was about to change…

It was something I hadn’t noticed at first, but Ray’s creepy, possessive side completely vanishes. I get that he would decide not to give MC an elixir, but I still feel like he isn’t going to magically lose all of his creepiness. That was honestly what made him fun, and while I do understand his self-loathing, I do feel like it got repetitive. Chats during that branch started to sound the same, and I found myself getting antsy. I just wanted to spend time with Ray and get to know him more, but at the same time all the foreshadowing with Zen’s Jekyll and Hyde/White or whatever got me super SUPER EXCITED!

From what I understand, Hyde is based off of Jekyll’s darker impulses. He’s violent and sexually aggressive. Because let’s face it, Ray’s darker desires are that he wants to hurt Seven and V, along with making MC his. He’s just not as bold and active about it, but he does send that Prime Minister info to Seven along with the ripped pictures to V. He also does say a lot of creepy things to MC. It’s easy to imagine that Unknown would actually put these desires into action, and he has shown that he’s very capable of that in other routes. The symbolism was perfect for Ray and Unknown! I believe Zen also alluded to Jekyll and Hyde fighting for control, so I also thought that foreshadowed that Ray and Unknown were going to indeed duke it out. Imagine it. Fighting over your safety and wellbeing. One man just wants you happy, while the other wants to selfishly keep you all to himself. I was so pumped. SO PUMPED.

But then tragedy struck.

Thing is, I am a curious kitty. I’m a ho for spoiler, and me being me, I sniffed around and accidentally saw something I shouldn’t have saw. Someone was complaining that “Saeran” was way too mean to the MC. It went on to describe how he called her ugly, and smelly and how he would feed her.

I was crushed.

I was absolutely crushed. The thought of Unknown doing that was devastating. It just so happened that I saw that on the day that the switch happens, so I spent most of that day moping, and then the night dreading it.

Here’s the thing though. When it happened, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was. It didn’t hurt my feelings, but instead baffled me. This man seemed different than Unknown. Not only was he dressed completely different, but his voice seemed a lot more subdued. His laughs were not nearly as loud or high pitched, and even the chatroom… he felt different than the man who said he would come to cabin and drag me back to Mint Eye. His speech bubbles were even a different color. They’re blue in this, but then reddish in V’s route, the Christmas DLC, and the OG Prologue. (Fun fact, but before V’s route, Unknown’s bubbles were purple.) He seemed a lot less threatening, more extra, more insecure, more sane, and because of this, I’ve come to the conclusion that they are different people. Therefore, I’ll call him Suit Saeran. Now I know some people say that Suit Saeran is like the baby version of Unknown, but eh…that doesn’t explain why he’s so more like the OG Unknown in V’s route. I feel like Rika’s treatment of him affects how the new personality will act, and if we get a Rika route, my theory is that “Saeran” will become possessive of her and become your love rival for her.

Now I will say I get it. I get why Suit Saeran acts the way he does. It ties into Ray’s self-loathing, but…I feel like Unknown would have tied into the way Ray acts in V’s route. Why did they change Ray? Why didn’t they go with Unknown instead of Suit Saeran? Did they think Unknown was too violent? Did they think he was unlovable? Or was it that they were punishing Unknown fans for being so thirsty. Everyone in all the other routes cherishes MC for the most part …except in this route.  Suit Saeran and even Rika berate MC, call her useless, and pretty much say she’s better off dead. I personally found it ridiculous to the point of being comedic, but I do know that it deeply upset some people. I do think it went too far. For example, the CGs with Suit Saeran are great, but his dialogue during those scenes just ruins any enjoyment I could get from that.

I was so furious.

Unknown was truly the one thing I had been waiting for, and it felt like a slap in the face.

I will say that Suit Saeran apologizing and then the emergence of GE Saeran made things…kind of better. I was a little upset that Ray and Suit Saeran (And any other personas) seemed to be gone forever though, but GE Saeran was sweet, and after the abuse and agony of Mr. Posh Tie Boy, it was a Godsend. The phonecalls were great, and the chats were great, but that didn’t fix everything. Though looking back, I kind of feel like Ray didn’t really get any development in his own route. Even with the self-loathing plotline, he himself never learns to love himself. The last time you see him, he’s crying and saying how he was never meant to stay around. So he basically just disappears forever. At least Suit Saeran got to learn his mistakes and try to make things right. Idk. It’s just kind of upsetting and strange to me.

Anyways, there were still plenty of sleepless nights where I would just think about how Unknown wasn’t in the route, and how I would never be able to get to him or romance him. To this day, it’s still something that frustrates me to no end, and it’s honestly something that always will. I’ve lost hope that Cheritz will give us any other Unknown content. We haven’t gotten the after ends after all. The daki was nice, but dang…in a way, it’s kind of another slap. They were capable of writing a flirty Unknown. They were capable of writing him fighting Ray for MC’s affection. WHY WAS THIS NOT PUT IN THE ROUTE! THEY MAKE UNKNOWN SO SEDUCTIVE AND PASSIONATE ARGH IT’S WASTED POTENTIAL FSJDLKJLKSDJLFJSDLKfjls

There’s also the fact in the Halloween DLC that Ray compares himself to the Phantom of the Opera…and that dynamic once again fits Unknown more. The only time the Phantom talks mean to Christine is after she pulls off his mask after her first abduction, but it doesn’t last long, and otherwise he’s a lot more seductive and aggressive like…UNKNOWN. Sigh…heavy sigh… I’m a huge phangirl, and honestly I really do feel like the Phantom fits Ray and Unknown perfectly. T_T There’s his sweeter, more childlike, vulnerable angel side, and then his dark, seductive, murderous side. HHHHHHHhhhhhh.

I used to hate Suit Saeran, but now I don’t. I still kind of resent him for taking Unknown’s place, but when I look at him as a separate entity, he’s not so bad. He’s kind of funny, and there’s good fanart of him.

I’m really not sure how I feel about GE Saeran. Back then I had really liked him, but now I wonder if maybe…he had been a little too perfect? And it really bothers me how the other personas are gone. He seems really different from Redhead Saeran too. I get that he escaped from Mint Eye with less trauma and had MC along to help but… JFsldjflsfj idk though. I’ll see how he is in the after end. If we get a dark chocolate Valentine’s day with him unleashing his Unknown side then…I’ll forgive Cheritz…a little…but at this point, I’m not even sure if we’re getting the after ends.

Ultimately, if Unknown had never existed, then I would have liked this route a lot more. The fact that he’s not in it destroys my enjoyment of it.

Ah this is getting long, so I guess all I can do is make Unknown content, and make things the way I wanted them to be. I don’t plan on leaving this fandom any time so soon, so don’t worry about that~ And if you stayed to read this entire rambling rant then you’re so awesome T///T

Edit Feb 13th

So I wrote this a week or so ago and queued this for Feb 14th, and as you can see, I added tags talking about V’s route. I really liked Ray’s villainous side, but now that I’m farther in V’s route, I’ve got so much more to say. For one, my thoughts on Ray still stands, but Unknown. Oh my goodness Unknown.

I was determined to get all of his calls, just figuring that I would I get a fun little flirty time, but I got so much more than that. I can scream to the rooftops that he’s so much more fun and different than Suit Saeran, but he’s also in a lot of pain. It’s something that hadn’t quite sank in the first time around, but he’s happy to have his body back. He’s annoyed at Ray and thinks he’s too soft and an idiot, but a lot less harder on him than Suit Saeran is. 

But there’s a phonecall that really got to me. He doesn’t let you respond at all, but he wants you to listen. It seems like he wants someone to talk to.

You know...I still don’t get who I am.

I’ve been awake for only a few times. And I still don’t get how come I’m awake.

But I know one thing... I’ve been so freaking mad from the beginning.

I want to crush everything I see. I can’t control myself.

I just broke every single flower pot Ray was tending.

I felt a little better after stomping those frail roots.

What am I...?

Why did I wake up so suddenly?

Did I wake up for vengeance?

He then goes on to talk about torturing V, but the way he says this, there’s pain behind his growls and cackles. It hurts my heart. I don’t know...even if Cheritz intended for him and Suit Saeran to be the same person, the pain they go through feels different to me. It just feels like they changed so much about his and Ray’s character when they made Ray’s route.

Who is Unknown?

Who is he really?

Will we ever get to find out...? 

[princelettow-archive]

hhhh not to be sappy on main, but thank you so much for your kind words?? i'm beyond delighted that you like my ocs? and my writing??? these two are like the biggest compliments for me they mean a lot! and you thinking that i'm a warm and kind person makes me so happy because that's what i'm trying to be and seeing that it probably works?? makes me feel a tad bit better about myself. anyway thank you so much i'm gonna cry tears of happiness now 😭🐈🌹

ambie it’s the truth!!!! 💖💖 like i remember one of our first interactions was you sending me the first chapter of night lands and i absolutely fell in love with it and the characters???? (and honestly? can’t wait to read more like no pressure but fhdks if you ever post more stuff pwease link it to me!!💖)

and i hope this doesn’t sound weird but like i associate u with sunlight and warm evenings and i think it has to do with the fact that we are both begging for spring to come but like you also give me that vibe!!! so yeah!!! i love you lots i love your blog!!

[empathyuck]

50 questions tag

I was tagged by @wouldujae thank you so much for the tag!

What takes up too much of your time? As of right now stanning groups and just my phone in general. In college it was studying and doing assignments.

What makes your day better? Laughing with my friends or feeling like I’ve been productive

What’s the best thing to happen to you today? Hmmm. Idk waking up and being alive nothing happened today lol

What fictional place would you like to go to? Emerald city???

Are you good at giving advice? I think so, I always try to give my opinion from different perspectives

Do you have a mental illness? Nope

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No thank the lord

What musician inspired you the most? I have too many!!

Have you ever fallen in love? Nope, haven’t even liked anyone in over 2 years

What’s your dream date? Movie night, going out and just hanging out maybe go grab a snack, going to a park and reading or drawing 🥺 just wanna talk w my special boy doesn’t matter what we do

What do others notice about you? I get that I’m quiet, smart, artistic and creative. For my appearance I get complimented on my body a lot because I have wide hips haha

What’s an annoying habit you have? Eugh I either speak too softly or too loudly to the point where my voice sounds annoying I hate it.

Do you still talk to your first love? Interestingly enough I do! He was the first real crush I had, I liked him in elementary and was the boy that I’ve liked for the longest. I liked him off and on until the beginning of high school hah, we go to the same college and we speak sometimes lmao

How many exes do you have? Only 1

How many songs are in your playlist? There are currently 24 songs in my summer playlist but I need to add more

What instruments can you play? I used to play the clarinet from 6th-9th grade so only 1

What do you have the most pictures of? Pictures of nct, my friends, Minho, and aesthetic pictures. Weird pictures too lol

Where would you like to go before you die? I’m honestly not sure but probably like a forest or a place that’s VERY green and secluded... probably has a waterfall and all

What’s your Zodiac? Cancer

Do you relate to it? Mostly, yeah. Cancers are seen as very emotional, and I can be i guess but never in front of others. I don’t like feeling vulnerable lsbdlsndsl. But am I moody af? Yes. Do I keep to myself? Yep.

What is happiness to you? Laughing, feeling like I’m accomplishing something, being okay with where I’m at. Not wishing for more.

Are you going through anything right now? Just worrying on how I’ll pay my way through college 🤧

What’s the worst decision you ever made? i don’t think I have one in specific, but being too worried or scared about consequences. I’m tired of overthinking things and not doing things I want to do

What’s your favourite store? Dollar tree because I’m a poor shawty

What’s your opinion on abortion? A woman can do whatever she chooses, it’s her body!!!

Do you keep a bucket list? Noooo

Do you have a favourite album? Hm some of my faves are Kevin Abstract - American Boyfriend; childish Gambino-because the Internet; NCT 127-regular-irregular; modern baseball-you’re gonna miss it all. I have too many D:

What do you want for your birthday? Maybe a stray kids album? But idk which one I love them all hhhh

What are most people’s first impressions of you? People see me differently. Some think I’m really smart, nice, calm and innocent. I think others see me as chill, intimidating, artistic. I think it depends on where people encounter me. I get told a lot that people think I didn’t like them but in reality it just takes me a while to come out of my shell around new people. I’ve also been told “i used to think u thought u were better than everyone else” like i don’t?? 😭 i just have a resting b*tch face/I’m shy but I’m nice I swear!!!

What age do you seem according to most people? Get told I look like two years younger than what I am

Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? On my nightstand

What word do you say the most? “Or something,” “dude/bro,” “pinche vato culo” and “like”

What’s the oldest age you would date?Right now I would prefer 1-2 years older. I could do 3, but that’s kind of pushing it lol. Right now i would prefer someone closer to my age because I’m sad over the fact that it’s almost my last year as a teen. Because of that i think I would go better with someone closer to my age right now (I’ve liked people 3 years older than me before)

What’s the youngest age you would date? A few months younger, like 6 months younger at most

What job/career do most people say would suit you? Writer, artist, English/art teacher

What’s your favourite music genre? Hip hop! But i love different genres

If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? I don’t know, I’m not the type of person that looks too much into the future. Right now I like living in Texas and going to college here

What is your current favourite song? Igloo by millic and highway to heaven

How long have you had this blog for? Like 5 months, started it in January

What are you excited for? New skz album baby!!!

Are you a better talker or listener? listener, although sometimes I suck st that too because my mind wanders a lot

What is the last productive thing you did? I tried to sew one of my shirts and turn it into a crop top but I failed lol I’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll prob read later

What do you want for Christmas? Ehhh nothing really I don’t like materialistic things all that much. I like receiving drawings and poems. Maybe new clothes

What class do you get the best grades in? This past semester I got 5 A’s minus a B in psychology so all of those 5 classes 🥴

On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? Like 4 because I’m bored right now for no reason hhh (I been saying I’m moody af 😵)

What can you see yourself doing in ten years? English teacher!! Or maybe even a writer if I improve my skills. I think I have the talent and creativity to do it, but I definitely need to further my skills

When did you get your first heartbreak? I guess the first time I was really sad was when I told a boy I liked him and he didn’t respond to my text lol. First “real” heartbreak was when my first bf broke up with me and told me he was only with me because of my body... like ok made me feel so unworthy lol :( I was 15 at the time

What age do you want to get married? I don't care too much about getting married but if I do maybe in my 30s

What career did you want to have as a child? Teacher, singer, actress, dancer lmao I used to be into a lot of things

What do you crave right now? Having something to do that will make me less bored 😪

I won’t be tagging anyone in this post because it’s really long and I don’t want to bother anyone haha. Also I’ve noticed a lot of blogs have already done this so ya :0 I’ll tag whoever wants to do it!! You can say that I tagged you and I’ll read your post 💚

[nctverse]

Unrequitted

sorry that this isnt all that great, i decided to challenge myself by rewriting an old fic of mine from years ago when i say awful,, i mean AWFUL and this was the turn out. i did have much to work with bct the plot is so fucking awful HHHH why was i such an awful writer,, the old fic was supposed to be angst but i just laughed when i read it bc its so CRINGY

the original is still up on tumblr on an old blog i used to own good luck trying to find it i mean if anyone really wants me to i can put a link to it but its really awful. also it was originally written as a BTS fic hhhh

genre; angst

pairing; taeyong x reader x jaehyun

After a long day of work you approach your front door , taking out your old rusty house key and reluctantly slide it into the small key hole. Taking a deep breath you turned the knob, stepping inside the spacious house that your husband and you shared. Your mother swore that placing you in an arranged marriage would greatly increase your business relations but you strongly disagree, in fact you wager to say that it ruined it, because now you were stuck, loving a man who will never love you back.

"I'm home." You sighed knowing his next 6 words, everyday it's the same, it never changes. "I'm going out with the boys." Your husband Taeyong said, ignoring you. You refused to look his way as he walked right passed you towards the door, stiffly brushing past your shoulder causing you to drop a bag onto the ground. Just like that, he slipped out of the cracks of your fingers just like water once again. His cold and distant demeanor where a constant cycle for the better part of two years. But even though his actions spanned the test of time, every day you hoped to somehow make a break through the thick ice, although it proved to be futile.

You dragged your feet up to the old rusty mirror that hung in the main hallway feeling the tears as the seemingly scorched as skin as they traveled down your cheeks, staring at your rough appearance. Your hair was severely disheveled while your makeup melted off of your exhausted features and the dark circles from your lack of sleep was merely the cherry on top of a failed cake. It was pathetic , you were pathetic. Thoughts clouded you mind warping your actions as you drug your fist up your body only smash it against the mirror as an attempt to rid the thoughts. The tears streamed faster down your cheeks as if they were racing to the finish line which was the floor beneath you. Your fist drug downward against the shattered mirror slicing your hand and knocking the sharp shards all around you as you returned your fist to your side. Blood trickled down your fingers and dropped onto the ground as you stood motionless.

The star speckled sky was a dark, endless abyss that you dreamed of getting lost in. You longed to feel something, anything that wasn't negative, yet you felt nothing. You rolled over onto your stomach, momentarily breaking free of the self deprecating thoughts, grabbing your phone and opening it. The bright light startled you as you squinted to see the time. 3 am. Thoughts of Taeyong were still infiltrating your mind as had yet to come home. You picked up your phone, wanting to call someone for an answer of where he maybe, searching through the contacts of the 18 boys you hold closest to your heart. You hesitated, he usually left you alone but this was the first time it had lasted this long.

Your cold finger shook as you finally chose a contact, finger resting on the name 'Jaehyun' bringing the phone up to your tear stained cheek.

"J-jaehyun." you managed.

"Oh hello y/n!" Jaehyun replied excitedly, retracting as he remembered the situation.

"Ah y/n are you okay?" You opted to just explain everything, as you knew he was clueless, his facial expression turning from worry to a burning anger and sympathy as you continued your explanation.

"Taeyong left the house about 6 hours ago saying that he was with you guys? Is he still there?" Although you tried you hardest, you couldnt help it as your voice shuddered at the end, clouded with a genuine sorrow.

"Y-Y/n, he left an hour ago." He hated to be the one to break the news but he knew deep down that he had to be the one to tell you. Every tremble of your voice and every tear that fell from you eyes shot through him like an blade, tearing him apart. Even if he couldn't see you. Why? Because he loves you.

"O-Oh." You looked down as the tears welled up once again, the endless flow almost silently streaming down.

"You know, I cant bear seeing you like this. Why do you stay with him if it only hurts." Jaehyun knew he shouldn't pry like this, but he couldn't help it after seeing you in pain again and again. He thought, 'How is it possible to long for someone that only brings you pain?' He wished he could march up to your doorstep and comfort you, to be able to hold you close and call you his. He wished he could tell you that you deserve so much better, that you deserve someone that will love you as much as you love them, someone like himself.

"Because I love him. I don't know why but I love him. I cant get him out of my mind. I-It's like i'm constantly drowning its so frustrating! but I still love him." You began to sob as you let out your rant. It broke him. Jaehyun stood stunned on the other end of the line. It was as if the weight of 10 million earths collapsed upon him, without a second of a break. Tears fell from his eyelids for the first time in a very long while. He was at a complete loss. He knew he needed to see you. He dropped the phone as he hung up, bursting through the front door of his home heading straight to you. He slipped past the people on the busy streets, running as fast as he could.

You clutched the phone tighter as you failed to hear a response before the call ended. Why did it pain you so much to know that he just hung up on you? without a word? Why did it pull at your heart so much? Why did it feel as if you lost a piece of your heart? You thought it was impossible to love two people at once but fate keeps proving you wrong time and time again. Your mind's rambling was interrupting by the sharp sound of the doorbell, followed by an impatient series of knocks. You stood up making you way to the door, merely expecting to finally greet your husband. You hand rested on the handle, preparing to face his cold nature with a deep breath before you swung open the door. You realized you prepared for nothing as you felt the strong, comforting embrace of none other than jung jaehyun. You head rested against his chest, feeling the intense heartbeat, setting off your own. Your arms finally came up to reciprocate the embrace. The comfort in his embrace elicited your hysterical sobs once more. Feeling your pain, Jaehyuns hand came up to stroke the back of your head in time with his speech.

"It's okay, i'm here." He whispered, speaking into only your ear. "I'm here, i'll always be here. You deserve so much more." He had no clue what he was saying as he began to cry with you. He wanted to yell, to be able to tell you how much he wants to save you from this cage, but he resisted, knowing your true feelings. Just as he's always done.

[ultimatescenarios]

Ahh, this blog is my life hhhh NDRV3 boys trying to braid their Fem! s/o’s hair, please?! It’s just because I’m a sucker for Kaito

YES!! I AM SO ON BOARD

This is what I’ve been missing in my life.

I’m very glad to hear you’re enjoying the blog! Though I’m sorry you gotta put up with my writing-I’ll just post this now before I go to sleep as an apology for making y’all wait for so long!!

- Mod Kaede

NDRV3 Male Cast trying to braid their Fem!S/o’s hair

Shuichi Saihara

Silence. He says nothing; he’s too busy concentrating on the parted sections of your hair.

He’s very careful not to pull or tug on anything that’ll lead to your distress. Which sounds sweet but he’s acting as if one mishap could lead to you shattering like glass.

He has no idea what he’s doing. There’s a reason why he likes keeping his hair short and not needing to style it. And the fact that he’s attempting a classic french braid isn’t helping at all. That’s what he thought you wanted, so he’ll do his best.

But is now lost in the strands of flaking hairs that just won’t stay put. “How do girls do this every day?” He now feels like girls are some superior being. He had no idea how difficult this was to do, “And you have to do this by yourself!?”

He asks so many questions, from “Is this okay?” to “This doesn’t hurt, does it?” and of course, “It’s not too tight, right?”

His fingers get tangled in your locks countless times during the entire venture. All you can hear coming from him is an amalgamation of winces and apologies.

And by the end of it, you’re given a sloppy, french braid that looks to be like you’ve slept in it for two days straight.

He’s apologizing profusely.

K1-B0

He insists you let him braid your hair. As long as you’re willing to, of course. He would appreciate the experience and chance to experiment.

If you offer to help or explain the basics he stops you short, informing you that he came prepared and has downloaded and analyzed many tutorials prior to this session.

He even asks what kind of braid you would like, even though he would like to attempt several.

Depending on how much static your hair collects, his electric-circuiting shocks you a few times.

It’s not unyielding irritating, more like an electrified jolt that pulses through your scalp and down your spine.

It’s a little relaxing after you get used to the feeling.

He takes his time and is acting very nonchalant about it.

It’s his first time trying this, he’s never had any previous experience. But you’re surprised to see it’s reasonably neat, nowhere near professional though, but considering the struggles he encountered using his stiff robotic hands, he didn’t do such a terrible job overall.

Before you have a chance to look at the entire finished product or even thank him, he’s untying your hair and brushing through it to try again.

You better grab out something to keep you busy. You’re going to be here for a while…

Kaito Momota

Either of you could have suggested the idea really, but after seeing how pretty you looked in braids he wanted to give it a try.

He’s a little rough but isn’t exactly ripping out chunks of hair, just indirect tugging here and there that makes your head sway in all directions.

His hands are fumbling and he’s so confused. Your hair keeps tangling within itself somehow and he’s not helping the situation with the loose grip he has on the sections of your hair.

At some point, he started sticking his tongue out of his mouth with the amount of focus he was putting on such a small task.

He even struggles with finishing the hairstyle. Yes, he continued until the last strands of your hair slipped right off his hands and ruined the whole braid. He was so close to finishing it too.

He’s a little annoyed since the two of you have been sitting here for almost an hour. Which was mostly him trying to figure out how to braid hair without any tutorials…he was beginning to get the hang of it. And proud of that too.

So proud, in fact, he tries again, brushing through your hair with his fingers, whether you try to persuade him to use a brush or not, he claims one of his most repetitive lines: “Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, doesn’t need a brush OR tutorials!”

You must admit his energy and attitude towards what can be a tedious and annoying chore at times, is very cute, and admirable in a way. So you let him have his fun.

Even if he turns your once luscious and unique hair features into something that could be mistaken for a bird’s nest. He’s too much of an adorable dork for you to stay or get mad at. Just admit it.

Rantaro Amami

He knows a few tricks about braiding hair. He was never any good at formal braids but could basic and fishtail braid like a (not-self-proclaimed) pro.

It’s due to his 12 sisters who insisted him, specifically, do their hair for many years. Since he was closest to his sisters in comparison to his half-brothers.

So he’s decently confident with his skills and is sure he’d be able to style a braid in a way to compliment your features.

He gathers a few accessories to add to the mix or aid him in this quest. From bobby pins to decorative clips, he’s got some ideas already festering in his mind.

He brushes out your hair carefully and almost pampers you through the entire crusade as if you were in an overly affectionate beauty salon. Having placed you on the floor with him behind, you should have known some cuddles and kisses would happen eventually.

He’s very calm while piecing your hair together in two, over-the-shoulder fishtail braids. Talking to you like he normally would since it’s almost become a second nature for him to multitask like this.

When he’s finished… Well, you react to the braid however you do, but as much as you might hate to admit it, he does a better job at braiding then you do.But with added accessories accustomed to your skin-tone, preferences and physical features of course it looks pretty! Prettier then it probably should!

Kokichi Oma

He’s seen couples in relationships do this for fun online. You already know he wants to try it for himself.

He doesn’t even notify you of it happening. All you were doing was minding your own business and like a beauty ninja, he’s sitting behind you and brushing your hair thoroughly before parting it into sections…more than three sections at that.

If you dare question it… “Nee-hee-hee~ No peeking, S/O! My talents don’t just end with being an Ultimate Supreme Leader, y’know?” …or even try to get anything out of him about what he’s doing or plotting there’s no chance he’s going to spill. And if he were to, how can you be sure he’s not lying?

So whether you give in or are too stubborn he plays hard to get. “Geez S/O~ If you’re gonna react like that, what’s the point?” And after reacting however you do… “O-KAY~ You’ve persuaded me!” (Literally however you react, whether you remain silent, make a fuss, apologize, get flustered or death glare the brat with a ‘I’m-not-putting-up-with-your-shit-ouma-and-you-know-it’ attitude… god does he loves messing with you)

He’s not the most gentle about it. And you can feel a weight growing above your head…yeah maybe it’s not the best idea to let Kokichi try to braid your hair…

If you try to get a glimpse of him, he’s wearing one of those terrifying smiles that screams devil’s child.

He whines that you were trying to peek and is forced to start again. Blaming you. It’s entirely your fault. Sigh.

When he’s finally done messing with you, you finally get to see he decided to give you a waterfall twist braid.How he has the skills to do this is beyond you.And cough he may or may not have been googling how-to-braid the entirety of the previous night OR been practicing on himself cOUGH.

Korekiyo Shinguji

He’s surprisingly good at braiding hair. He’s had experience styling his own hair in the past. Whether it be for the sake of art, beauty, creative mind, experience or an understanding.

And from the fashion research he’s done in the past about human’s and their trends…let’s just say he knows a lot of different styles and techniques.

He asks if you had a preference and if not he will happily give you a style that will suit your face and frame.

He asks you to wash your hair before hand to get the best experience and outcome from this, whether you go through with this or not is all up to you.

And thanks you for the opportunity to braid someone else’s hair for once.

He takes quite a long time to prepare your hair. Brushing through it at least a few 10 times and clipping away parts he doesn’t wish to get in the way.

He has to pause during the session multiple times to take notes. On how you react, to how it feels being on his end, he even asks you questions during moments of massaging your scalp, tugging on the strands and so forth. “It’s for research, S/O. A passionate Anthropologist must get accounts from those within society to get a better outlook of the entire spectrum. And since this is a rare encounter I must document every precise detail.”

When he finally gets along with it, he doesn’t struggle as much as you’d think through his bandages. Over the years he’s grown accustom to their feel and how to utilize his senses.

It takes time, since he wanted to test his skills (and take so many notes). But once he’s finally finished and your neck and back are killing you from resting in the same position for over an hour. He outdid his previous attempts at braiding and gave you an inverted fishtail braid.

Ryoma Hoshi

How you got him to do this. I don’t know. But he’s braiding your hair anyway. Well done S/O.

He goes with the simple and standard braid. Whether he intended for it to be loose is for him to know and only him.

You have to do most of the work, like combing your hair. And while he doesn’t know why you want him to do this, he goes along with it anyway. Eventually confessing “It’s things like this I missed while in prison.”

Admittedly he enjoys fiddling with you locks. It’s a strange sensation he hasn’t really experienced since he prefers to keep his hair extremely short.

He goes silent at some point. You didn’t for the room to go quiet, but really he almost gets lost in the feeling of your strands of hair. You wouldn’t know it of course. The expression he’s gained after many years of enduring what happens within the walls of a prison has made it so he’s unreadable.

But the fact that it takes him about 30 minutes to give you a three strand braid gives away how much he was enjoying pampering you in such a way.

He’s talking himself down again, unsure why you wanted this in the first place.

But it looks nice. The amount of looseness around the back of your neck makes it feel like it’s not even there. It’s comfortable and because it’s tied together won’t get knotted or caught on anything.Oh and! It perfectly fits on both of your shoulders and doesn’t irritate your beck at all! Ifitslongenoughofcourse seriously, love this boy!

Gonta Gokuhara

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. You might think he would…but there’s a reason why his hair is so…natural.

His robust hands don’t help the situation either. He’s struggling to traditionally braid your hair. And apologizes for the amount of times he needs to start all over again.

Eventually he settles with giving the hair around your ear special attention and gives you a small braid that almost blends into your hair.

He asks so many questions. To keep a conversation going and to know what you would prefer.

He decides to add in some flowers he recently picked in the meadow. Just so the braid appears more apparent drowned in your locks.

He’s very new to this, so please have patience with him. He’s very glad you suggested this. And what kind of gentlemen would deny a lady of such a lovely wish?

It doesn’t take him long to finish the single braid. And he’s so happy with the end result. But the fun isn’t over yet. He gets a little carried away with tucking in pieces of flowers and natural greenery.

He wants to try again. He’s so eager about it too. You’re making him rethink his own hairstyle…maybe the two of you could match? Couples often match with each other, right?He’s not finished btw. practice makes perfect, so you know whenever you want/need your hair braided he’s gonna offer to do it for you.

also since the English localization is popular with a lot of the English fans I’ll just write my future prompts in correlation to the English localization to lower chances of confusion.

Unless some demand the Japanese quirks (Ouma using the honorific ‘chan’ for everyone, the original laughs {i.e Nishishi, Kyah-kyah-kyah, Kukuku}, Tenko’s pun of MENace, Angie/Gonta/Tenko’s speaking mannerisms, etc) feel free to lemme know! I’d be happy to add such details in!especially since the eng localization has been brainwashing me to the point where I almost forgot Tenko’s pun … her PUN