#tfw they have so many different spellings... real ones will know

[pussyfootmaneuver]

i had to draw them as jimmy and kimmy because i was watching bcs at the same time i was rping routine yuri moments

[heckyeahponyscans]

Yeloli Watch Party time!

So it turns out the first episode WAS on Youtube, on a different channel and with Portuguese subtitles!  That was great, since I was able to use Google Translate + the subtitles to figure out the dialogue.

True story, I downloaded the video and painstakingly added English subtitles, but DailyMotion refused to upload it because the file was too big, lol.

Instead, here’s a Google Doc with the script: English Translation S01E01

Okay, on to the plot.

Season 1, Episode 1: The Magic Begins

Our story begins with narration explaining that Yeloli, the land of the fairies, is ruled by an evil queen who wants to enslave all humans.  The only thing standing in her way is a group of good Yeloli fairies who want to protect humans.

Currently evil Queen Pandora and leader of the good fairies, Evelyn, are having an anime magic battle.  (Nice Dutch angle!)  Evelyn fights Pandora, giving the other good fairies time to flee through a portal to Earth.

Evelyn casts a spell on Pandora, preventing Pandora and her army from entering the human world.

Pandora’s like, “Oh yeah? Watch this,” and performs a curse that will cause any Yeloli fairy who enters the human world to turn into a lifeless doll.

Evelyn flees to Earh, shouting, “CLOSE THE PORTAL!” But it’s too late; all the fairies shrink and turn into dolls.

(They do a good job giving the dolls a dead-eyed stare compared to the living characters.)

Evelyn casts a spell to alter the curse, so that if the dolls find an owner who truly loves them, they will regain their original size / powers.  Evelyn vows to care for the dolls in the meantime.

Cut to Mary, a fifth grader who, she tells us through narration, is bad at school and sports.  There’s something very depressing about the matter-of-fact way she tells us she’s “not talented.”  Like she’s not even mad or sad about it; she just takes it as fact.

Mary is minding her own business when a bunch of cherry blossoms magically swirl around her and lead her to a narrow alley with a mysterious glow at the end.  For some reason the first shot of the cherry blossoms is just . . . video of real cherry blossoms.  I dunno why, everything else is CGI.

Naturally Mary follows the glow and at the end of it she finds a little cul-de-sac with . . . a doll store!

Mary is entranced by the doll in the window, and if I was a little kid looking at that window display, I would be too.

She goes inside, of course, and admires the dolls, which Evelyn has hilariously posed to look bored.  I mean, I’m assuming the dolls can’t move on their own.  Or is this a Toy Story situation?

^ Also WHERE IS THIS DOLL’S LEGS?

Mary hears a voice and finds Evelyn casting a spell on a doll. My favorite part is Mary sees this lady levitating a doll and wonders, “Is this magic?”  Mary, please.

Evelyn then implants something that looks a lot like a spark (Transformers soul) from Beast Wars into the doll . . . and it comes to life!

Wow!  I’ve only known this doll for five seconds, but it seems evil!

The doll notices Mary, who backs out of the room which, fair.

Mary apologizes for intruding and Evelyn is like, “That’s okay.  Want a DOLL?”

Mary says she doesn’t have any money.  Evelyn is like, “Well, you can still play with them, they love visitors. Pick one you like.”

Mary picks the doll from the window--her name is Loli.  Magical light surrounds them both, indicating that Loli has chosen Mary to be her owner.

I was expecting Mary to gradually learn the doll’s backstory, but Evelyn straightout tells her that Loli is a princess who was cursed to be a doll, who needs love to break the curse.  She says many children have looked at Loli, but the doll rejected them all . . . until Mary came along.

tfw no one is good enough for your doll

So you’d  expect this would be the point where Mary gets the doll, but no, things take a very weird turn. Evelyn says Mary can have the doll . . . if she signs the Yeloli Contract.  What is the Yeoli Contract? WELL, it says the doll is your responsibility forever and you can’t give her away.  

You sign it via fingerprint.

That’s weird, right?  It seems like a mystical trap, right?  But the first half of the story frames Evelyn as heroic, so I dunno.  Just, if I had only seen the last half of the episode I would 100% think Evelyn was a villain trying to steal Mary’s soul or something.

Anyway, Mary signs, Evelyn boxes up the Loli, and Mary leaves, promising to take good care of Loli.  

Mary heads home . . . until a mysterious voice says, “Little girl . . . Little girl, GIVE ME YOUR DOLL.”

DUN DUN DUUUUUN, cliffhanger!

Some thoughts:

- Is Evelyn a fairy?  Or is she an Earth woman who knows magic? Why wasn’t she transformed into a doll with the rest of them?

- She brought Red-Eyes-Evil-Doll to life...  Is that doll a fairy, or can Evelyn bring regular dolls to life?  Red-Eyes could move / speak on her own, so maybe the fairy dolls DO all move when kids aren’t looking?

- Even though the CGI is older, the storyboarding, facial expressions, and movement are quite good, which is the key to being able to suspend disbelief. (Same reason I think Beast Wars made better use of their CGI than Siege, even though Siege is better in a technical sense... BW REALLY put effort into their facial & movement animations, while Siege was pretty lazy about it.)

- I like the shamelessness of the marketing. This is beyond “Cartoon shows character to get you to buy toy” . . . The ACTUAL DOLLS are magic and they need a child’s love to save them.  Amazing.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Growing Pains | TFW

Request:  Hey! Can I please request a platonic x reader with team free will 2.0? The reader gets turned back to a toddler by a witch and they try to ask Rowena for help but, the spell lasts for a week and it's just plain chaotic. The reader is extremely clumsy and hungry but knows a few words like "Hungry" and "Thirsty". The rest is up to you 😊. Thanks in advance!

A/N: It is a little different from the request, so I hope you don’t mind, also it’s not great. And I’m terribly sorry for the wait, I hope you can understand why xxx

Walking around the lab, you screwed your face up at the mess. It was like toddler’s had been let loose in the room, there was glass broken upon the floor, paper thrown out of the shredder, and worst of all, no one to condemn for the death of the scientist.

Sighing, you shut your eyes, leaning back into one of the counters. “So, the guy that was killed had like a dozen or so kids and we can’t find a single one of them, or the mother?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose as Cas circled the room once more, seeing if he could find anything that your human eyes had missed. But alas, there was no ultimatum, nothing that could direct the pair of you to answers.

“That sounds about right.” Dean’s gruff voice came from the doorway, stepping on shards of glass as he came closer to the two of you. “Although at this time, I am calling shots on the mom being the killer.”

“We don’t even know if this is up our alley Dean.” You sighed, opening your eyes and looking at the older hunter. “Did you get anything from the co-workers?” 

“Not a peep.” His tone was almost too cheerful, especially considering the circumstances. The group of you were nowhere near completing this case, and all he could think about was the burger joint around the corner. You were close enough to it, that you would give in and accompany him. “Who’s hungry?”

“After the sight of the guts strung in the ceiling fan,” you looked up to emphasise your point, “I think I may have lost what appetite that I had left.”

“Bad luck. You snooze, you lose.” With that he left the room, presumably heading off to stuff his face. It was impossible not to roll your eyes at his childish behaviour, although in all fairness, you should have been used to it by now. However your dear angel friend remained with you. 

“We should meet with Sam and Jack, and see if they have found anything in the house.” Castiel spoke, confused by the lack of evidence in this death. There was nothing that could have helped, even the majority of the man’s body was gone.

“Why would someone have that many children?” It was a rhetorical question, but just the thought of your body going through it’s natural process that many times made you shiver.

“To repopulate.” Cas put simply, although that was a straightforward fact. But that was not what you had meant, admittedly you had a soft spot for kids, even missed being one sometimes.

“I know, but doesn’t that seem sort of strange to you?” Your mind was spinning with all sorts of possibilities, of what could and couldn’t be going on. Unless, well... “It could be like some sort of supernatural litter, or they’re breeding test subjects. Is there even any record of them having that many children?”

Your conclusions made your friend frown, and he pointed his finger up, unintentionally pointing to the tendril of flesh that was hanging from the fan above.

“We should check the records.” And with that he grabbed your bag from just outside of the room, pulling your laptop from out of it. Just then, your phone began ringing. It was Sam, and so you answered.

“Hey, you find anything?” There was silence on the other end, until you heard the shrill sound of what you supposed to be a child.

“Was that Jack or -” 

“Hey!” The nephilim retorted. You could already picture the child like frown on his face, but before either of you could bicker about your comparison, the Winchester on call spoke first.

“She left one of her kids, and we found hex bags.” He breathed, relieved that this did in fact involve what you all were guessing to be a witch, yet also frustrated about how messy this all was. “But the thing is, this son of hers was closed in the basement, and the only thing down there for him to eat down there was a man’s leg...”

“We should get that tested, it could be the father.” You said, trying to think about this case adjoined with all of its new revelations. “So, what is her goal here, she’s trying to turn her own children into cannibals?”

“That’s how the ‘myth’ of the wendigo started in human folklore.” Jack commented, before he frowned. Him and Sam both let out shouts, making you fear for the pair. 

“Sam?”

“She doesn’t have any children, nor did he.” Cas spoke, the content on the screen disarranging this entire predicament further. “What just happened Sam?”

His breathing could still be heard from the other end of the line. It seemed like he was in shock of some sort.

“You’ve got that right, Cas.” He breathed, referring to the fact that she had no spawn. “And I suspect the others are like him. He’s just turned into a grown man, we’re going to attempt to get an answer to who he is. Be careful if you encounter Mrs Fletcher, both of you.”

So, now you had a presumed answer on how Mr Fletcher had died, you had to tell Dean. Quickly, you and Cas left the scene, looking for the elder Winchester, remembering to take any of your items with you.

“Thankyou.” You nodded, doing all of the talking to any police whilst Cas held your phone at an arm’s length. “Got any clues on where our witch works?” You asked him.

Sam replied soon, making the matter of reaching Dean that more prominant. “West Street, not far from where you are. At the burger joint, Paula’s.”

“Shit!”

-

When you and Castiel arrived, Dean Winchester was nowhere to be found. That fact had you deeply concerned, more so than you would usually be on a hunt. This presumed witch was targeting adults, and not only did he and the majority of you fit the agenda, but you didn’t want to know what would happen if you ended up disturbing her crosshairs.

There was no one inside, excluding yourself and the angel. It was eerie, almost too quiet to be owned by a witch. Scratch that, definitely too quiet.

“Behind the counter.” You nodded towards the door, taking the lead first, lightly pushing it. The bell atop of it jingled, making you blink hazily, before all turned to a deep gaze of pixels.

Castiel walked closer to you, tapping your forehead, but to no avail was your state resolved. Instead, you felt the need to collapse and keep your eyes contained behind their lids. And so you gave into that feeling, only hearing the voices of Sam and Jack before it was over.

-

When you awoke, you were in your bed in the bunker, but it felt much larger than it ever had before. There was so much room to move upon the mattress, the duvet even felt bigger.

As you looked down at your hands, you realised they had shrunk significantly. For all you were aware, this could all have been a very lucid dream, but you doubted that. As a hunter, the strange things were never false, they were real.

Attempting to leave your bed, you dropped your legs over the side, although they were now incapable of touching the floor. Instead of landing upright, you fell, causing a thud against the floor.

The sound had obviously rendered, and it removed all thoughts that were rattling around in your mind. Memories flashed before your eyes, sending a haze of dizziness to your shrunken body, until they all left, making you aloof in your own adult room.

Dean rushed out of his own reside as he heard the thud. He had followed the witch around the back and shanked her, but there had been a second plan up her long black sleeves. And he should have known, as he walked into your room, only to find a little girl with a strong resemblance to you.

This was her charade when alive, and the issue still stuck even now even when she was dead. Dean rubbed his face, feeling the muscles that were tensing beneath the skin. And now they were left with the outcome that they and you had tried to resolve.

Looking down at your youthful silhouette reminded Dean as to exactly why he hated witches so much. They were deceitful and cruel, and unfortunately so much more. “Sam!” He called out in a hurry, cradling your small, whining body in his arms.

You tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but your once fellow hunter would not allow you to do so. There was no logic turning in the cogs of your mind, instead, you were much rather shy to someone that you were viewing as a stranger.

In a flash, Sam was at the threshold of your door, looking in as it was ajar. He saw Dean with a kid, and there was only one explanation for it. They had been hustled whilst the witch turned in her grave...

-

Cas examined a book in the war room, whilst Jack followed his actions. Sam was on the phone with Rowena, asking, some would see it as begging, the witch to come and fix you up. And thus, Dean was left with you, whilst he nursed a beer in his opposite hand.

You tried to reach the glass bottle, but Dean jerked it away from your grasp. “No.” He warned you, having continuously done so before when you were too lazy to fetch your own from the fridge. But that didn’t stop you, instead it humoured you, making you laugh at the perceived game.

“Stop it.” He spoke again, making Jack laugh at your stubbornness which clearly hadn’t changed. For once, it was nice for him not to be the youngest in the room, even though technically he still wasn’t. But all got distracted when Sam huffed a sigh of relief over the phone.

“Okay, great. Me and Dean will meet you there.” And then he hung up.

-

Rather than being in Dean’s arms once again, you had been traded to Sam’s as the eldest drove Baby to the destination that Rowena had proposed. “Thirsty.” You mumbled, a gurgle following your very short sentence.

Sam looked at Dean, who only shrugged. He was unsure of what to do, they couldn’t stop at a gas station, otherwise they would miss their meeting with Rowena, and as they knew far too well, she was a tricky one to get a hold of.

“No you’re not.” Dean told you, trying to convince your mind otherwise to its actual thoughts. For the moment of which you were silent, he thought it may have worked, however the peace was not eternal, for you spoke again.

“Hungry.” You managed to speak next, making Dean huff from exhaustion. He thought of your need for a drink, and then it clicked, he tipped his head back at Sam.

“There’s a beer in the back.” It possibly could have rolled under his seat, these roads to the witch were bumpy. Sam gasped at the statement, placing his hand on your back as he bounced you and kept you distracted from your desires.

“Please tell me that you’re not serious.” At this point, Sam would not be surprised with his brother. Quite clearly, as much as the man adored kids, he was getting quite fed up with you in this state. It was day in, day out and yet the effects still hadn’t worn themselves out.

“She’s technically of legal drinking age.” He shrugged, remembering all of the times that you would steal his beer from the fridge, or even sometimes his hands.

“Technically,” the younger of the two pried, glaring at his brother, “currently she isn’t,”

“We’re here anyway.” Dean cut the conversation short, putting the car in park. For the first time in his life, the hunter and legacy was eager to see Rowena. Never did he think that day would ever come, but somehow your obliviousness had landed you all here, and he hated it.

Sam got out of the car, carrying you to a bench that Dean had decided to park his own rear on. There was a nice breeze whipping his hair before his face, and this younger you mirrored the reaction the elder one would have had.

You laughed, watching the swarm of locks cover his face, and move to the other side, with the swiftest and slightest motions as the direction switched itself up. 

Footsteps, clearly heels, could be heard clicking their way over. It was isolated in this park, presumably the redhead’s doing as she came into view with an amused grin stretching her chin.

“Well, if I was not already quite acquainted with the pair of you, I would presume the two of you were fathers to dear little (Y/N).” Rowena bent forward, ignoring the glares she received from the men, ogling at your youthful expressions. “Are you sure that you don’t want to keep her like this? She is quite adorable when she hasn’t got the brains to work with my son when the two of you dimwits think it fits into your narrative. Or hold a gun to the back of my neck and blackmail me with my own security.”

“Definitely.” Was Dean’s instant response. He could not do another day with baby you, he’d start going grey, or his eyes would turn black all of a sudden from pent up rage.

“Yes, Rowena.” Sam answered, bowing his head, as your fingers decided to thread themselves through his hair.

“Shame.” She pouted briefly, before waving her hand, and then you were, dazed, but sat in Sam’s lap, full size. As soon as you came to, your eyes widened at the position you were in, and you were quick to launch yourself out of it. He however sat there stunned. “Told you we should have called her earlier.” Sam said, still feeling awkward from your exchange, and Dean only grunted in a reply.

Dean knew for sure though, you had been a pain in the ass. If it ever happened again, he would just leave you with Jack and Cas.

[sadlyafanofotomegames]

A Road Paved with Bad Endings - Nightshade

You know why it takes so long to talk about Nameless Bad Endings?  Because they’re so complicated and different from each other!  There’s so many bad endings.  So.  Many.  Bad.  Endings.  So why don’t we shift gears and talk about a game that limits itself to one bad ending per boy.  Sometimes you get otome games where each ending is unique and fucked up in their own special way.  And then sometimes its just “And then they died.”  And you know what?  Those endings can be just as valid.  So lets get to these shinobis and ninjas and Naruto has corrupted my vision of ninjas permanently I am so sorry.  

Nightshade is about Enju, daughter of the Koga Clan’s leader and the sister of the Iga Clan leader.  After the Iga Clan was destroyed in a war the Koga Clan absorbed the survivors.  Because of this Enju is seen as the glue keeping the Koga and Iga Clan together, and is treasured by the villagers.  But Enju wants to be a real shinobi and go on missions like everyone else.  One day she gets her wish, and travels with her childhood friends and mentor to complete a mission.  Good news, she completed the mission!  Bad news, she gets accused of killing the ruler right after.

On the way she travels with her childhood friend and bodyguard Gekkamaru, her other childhood friend and Gekkamaru’s brother Kuroyuki, and her mentor and cousin (oh no) Chojiro, as well as meeting a cold-hearted powerful ninja from another clan, Hanzo, and a libertine totally-not-a-gentleman-thief Goemon.  Who’s going to be with Enju beyond the game of life-and-death she’s been forced into?  Or in this case, who’s going to see her literal end?

General Thoughts on This Bad End Journey

So before I get to the boys I’ll just do an overview on how choices work here.  Note that I’m playing the Switch Version.  You got the boys.  You got choices.  First four chapters you make choices that the boy you want likes and then in chapter five that’s when the route starts (though some routes start a bit early, but each route’s choices still start in Chapter 5.)  If you go to the Relationships in the Menu you’ll notice the line of boys and under each one is a line of flowers.  Every time you pick a choice a boy would like, the flowers will flash on screen and the next time you check the Relationships you’ll see the flower line begin to fill in with color.  Whoever’s flower is colored in the most until chapter 4 will begin the route in 5, and to get the good end you need to continue filling the line with color as much as possible.  Don’t fill the line by the end?  Bad Ending.

This makes it pretty simple to get the ending you want.  Quick Save, make a choice, see the flowers, good.  Make a choice, don’t see the flowers, bad, quick load.  I’d recommend Quick Saving continuously if you’re like me and can’t stop smashing buttons like I’m trying to speedrun (I can read pretty fast) because if you’re not paying attention you’ll “A” yourself right into picking the first option of a choice that popped up.  I did this more times than I would like to admit to.

On the content of the choices themselves, they’re good at connecting to the themes of each boy, so even though you can depend on the flower pop-up to keep you on the path you want you can intuitively see which choices work.  This is not true for all otome games.

The Bad Endings themselves basically all lead to the same place - dead and sad.  Enju dies, then boy.  Or boy dies, then Enju.  But each ending differentiates itself in the various flavors of how the deaths occurs and the reaction to it.  Also there’s one sad song for all the bad endings and it is a mood.  Despite the simplicity of it these endings do genuinely make me sad because Enju is a cutie and I love her and how dare you do this to her and dangit now I’m fond of the boys and now they’re sad and now I’m sad and I’m listening to a sad credit song and want to eat ice cream in a empty bathtub and cry for some reason.  So lets be sad...together.  

Spoilers for each route.  Warning for Descriptions of Death and Suicide. 

Goemon - It’s All Fun and Games Until You Need to Pretend You Betrayed a Cute Girl and Cause Her to Be So Sad She Doesn’t Stop Someone From Killing Her

Goemon is a gentleman thief archetype, who’s a player (or in this case libertine?) and steals from the rich to give to the poor.  Goemon is the only real one because he doesn't give a single fuck about cops, shinobi rules or the hierarchy, and strives not to shed blood if he can help it, AND is always good to Enju (expect when he was forced to be mean and he literally cried about it later in the good ending.)  Usually I’m not for player types, but Goemon manages to pull off being flirty and playful without coming off as pervy and careless.  It helps that there’s isn’t a Mean Girl for him to flirt with to cause conflict.  But then we near the ending of the route, where Goemon has to pull off a ploy to save Enju without being able to tell her the ploy, and it sucks.  I knew it was a ploy from the start, but you still made her be sad gosh darnit!  They managed to save the good mood of the route after that spell but just thinking about it left a sour taste in my mouth.  Unless you’re in the bad end, in which case you’ll be left with the taste of TEARS.

How to Get the Bad End 

Show distrust toward Goemon.  Goemon, lets be honest here, looks a little sus.  He pressures young ladies into going out for deserts, he’s a little flirty and doesn’t seem to take things with the right amount of seriousness, you fought him on a rooftop because he’s a notorious thief you were sent to capture, you know, it might be hard for Enju to trust him.  When Enju trusts in Goemon and is ready to have a good time (no not that kind) the two really establish a bond.  But on the road to the bad end Enju always had a seed of doubt in her mind about Goemon.

What Happens

The ploy Goemon came up with was to pretend to rejoin his old shinobi clan, the Fuma Clan, and deliver Enju to the Council of the Five Elder  (who all want to be the regent for the late rulers son but need to avenge him by killing his murderer) and then double-crossing both the Lords and his old clan and escaping with Enju with them believing she died.  Unfortunately because he’s surrounded by Fuma Clan members during this ruse he couldn’t spill the beans, thus Enju was left in the dark.  Also he faked all of her friends murders.  It’s not a great feeling to become so connected to someone only to find out that they killed all your friend and will send you to your death.  

But in the good path Enju is able to still believe in Goemon.  In the bad route...she just gives up on that line of thinking.  When they reach the palace, there’s a twist Goemon wasn’t expecting.  The late ruler’s Concubine and mother of the later ruler’s son enters before any of the Lords can debate who’ll execute her and kills Enju herself, and in her despair Enju lets her.  Goemon then releases the poison that causes people to see illusions and kill each other.  Hanzo escapes with his lord Tokugawa before it hits them.

Review

This ending fits well with Goemon because its after Enju dies because of her doubt toward him that Goemon truly betrays his beliefs.  He didn’t want to kill anymore.  He didn’t want to ever use the cruel techniques he was taught as a shinobi leader.  And then he’s left holding Enju’s body covered in blood that’s not his own, tear in one eye.  Hearing the screams of lords and servants alike killing each other due to his poison.  It’s poetic. 

Hanzo - TFW You Go From Cold to Softie But Still End Up in a Double-Suicide Because You’re Girlfriend Didn’t Fully Learn Her Own Self-Worth

So Hanzo is what the kids call, a kuudere.  He’s also the oldest, being the same age as Enju’s mom.  Enju is 16-17.  I am uncomfortable.  To be fair Goemon is also around Hanzo’s age, but Goemon doesn’t act as a tutor/guardian in the way Hanzo does, so its less noticeable.  Also...he gets real saucy in the last chapter.  Saucier than the so-called libertine.  Went from 0 to 100 real fast.  There are some parts I really love about this route, but given Hanzo’s role and age-gap I feel like this is one of those ones where I wish they left out the romance altogether, but hey this wouldn’t be an otome game without the smooching, so eh. 

How to Get the Bad End

Be pessimistic, hesitant, self-defeating, make silly mistakes.  Hanzo wants Enju to be smart and willing to improve her skills.  This entire route is really about Enju’s growth, both mental and physical, in the face of overbearing odds.  So don’t do that and you’ll end up in the bad end.  There’s a loooong gap between your last choice and where the bad end hits, and in the last chapter you don’t get any more choices.  

What happens.

When Hanzo seemingly disobeys his lord’s order to kill Enju (at least, that’s what the messenger said) he planned to commit suicide.  In the good ending Enju stops him and they move on to smooches but in the bad ending...she kills him herself so that he wouldn’t have to do it.  Then she ends her life soon after.

Review

I was honestly wasn’t expected this flavor of death from this route, but I suppose its attached to the antithesis of the route.  Hanzo, first from orders and then from heart, needed Enju to live and demanded Enju to stay alive, but in the bad end she was able to kill her own lover but didn’t learn to stay alive for herself.  It’s sad, but its a little too short for me to really sink in the tragedy.  Now if you want tragedy for the entire route, well that’s what our next boy’s for.

Chojiro - This Whole Route is a Bad Ending That the Real Bad End is Almost Cathartic

Chojiro is...*long, drawn out sigh* Enju’s cousin and mentor, whom she calls “Brother Chojiro.”  Look there’s a lot of tropes common in otome games that I just can’t get behind, but here I am still playing them.  Anyway sliding that fact back under the carpet Chojiro is another seemingly cold-hearted man, but unlike Hanzo, Chojiro already has a developed bond with Enju, and that bond makes it obvious that Chojiro’s got the fuzzies deep down.  Unfortunately a lot depends on him being a shinobi who follows the rules and orders to a T, which is awkward when yer girl becomes a fugitive after being accused of murder and you’re sent to kill her.  Again, there’s parts of this route I really like if they didn’t bother with the romance.  The thing under the carpet aside I feel like there was already an established love between the two from the get go, so to have them smooch, especially after all their friends died, is a little bit...bad timing is all I’m saying.  Now the bad ending, well, that just fits right in.

How to Get the Bad End

A good chunk of the choices made are without Chojiro present at all, but if you pick the right choice you’ll still see the flowers.  A main theme I suppose would be to get the bad end Enju emulates Chojiro.  Try to be cool and calm.  It’s not real, but its how Enju sees Chojiro.  Think of what Chojiro would do, rather than what Enju truly feels.  That’s just a loose thread though.  The path to the bad end comes mainly from how the plot of the route happens, which is Enju asking if living is really worth...all this?

What Happens

So uh, that ruler Enju was accused of murdering?  Yeah he never died.  The double was killed.  In this route at least, he set it up so that the Five Elders would play a game to see who would become the guardian.  Each of Enju’s friends, tricked into hunting down Enju at risk of losing their entire village, represented one of the five lords.  But then, in the ruler’s viewpoint, Enju managed to kill four of her friends (actually they mostly killed each other...it was actually three of them who died) and was so impressed...that he decided to bring her and Chojiro to the castle to set up a death match.  Enju’s blood is boiling.  Chojiro’s blood is boiling.  My blood is boiling.  

So what are we gonna do?  Go down in style.  Enju decides that if they both can’t live in peace, then they shouldn’t have to live while the other dies either.  She convinces Chojiro, who’s revealed to be as soft as Chojiro always told her she was, to strike her as she strikes him.  They die in each other’s arms with smiles on their faces.

Review

While the choices don’t really connect outside of whether they’re good for Enju or not, the Bad End fits like a glass slipper on this horrific tragedy.  It’s poignant that its Enju who takes the lead in how they go out, when its always been Chojiro who had to be in charge.  At the end it was like Chojiro was holding Enju’s sleeve.  Sad and beautiful...and closed off from the opportunity to escape that was so close.

Kuroyuki - Kuroyuki is a Tragedy with a Neat Scarf and Losing Enju Did Not Help

Kuroyuki was raised alongside Enju and is, FOR ONCE, around the same age as Enju.  At age 8 he was sent out on a mission and only returns now to tag along with Enju and her friends during their mission.  He’s aloof and playful, but its pretty clear he gots some secrets, and has some feelings for Enju from the beginning.  Once you get into Kuroyuki’s route he doesn’t hide that fact, up and saying that he loves Enju early on in his route.  He can act very forward (forward enough to make me act like a PTA mom and evoke the three-feet-apart rule), but when he realizes Enju’s upset he’ll quickly apologize and make pouty faces.  Despite the fact that he can be a cold-blooded killer (like all the boys except Goemon can be) and also be the most calculating, he can also be a sweetie, and it feels like he and Enju are on a more even playing field than the other boys.  Kuroyuki and Enju can be pretty childish toward each other, and it can get pretty cute.  That won’t stop the plotwist, and this bad end, coming fast to snap your heart in two.

How to Get the Bad End

Okay also Kuroyuki’s a yandere.  Probably should have said that sooner.  Anytime you’re in a yandere route the choices that lead you to the good end are basically to be sensible, because your yandere pal sure won’t.  Its the same here, though its good to show some care.  So get to the bad end...don’t be sensible.  Be reckless.  He’s says they’d live together and die together.  That’s not worrying at all!  What if I want to be with the yandere who gaslit me, mom!?  Ever thought about that!?

What Happens

So in this route, the ruler was killed for realzies this time...by Kuroyuki.  He was probably killed by Kuroyuki in every route except in Chojiro’s and Gekkamaru’s, because when he kills the ruler there’s no blood or open gash, which is a mark of his type of power.  There was a deal between the Kaga Clan (who Kuroyuki was sent to train in 8 years ago) and the Koga Clan to kill the ruler, bringing the country back into war.  There’s no use for shinobi in times of peace.  What Kuroyuki wasn’t planning was for Enju to be accused of the murder.  So uh...he basically sets it up so that he’d be the only one to save her from prison and travel with her.  He lied about her friends possibly coming after her, which even I was set to believe because I was in a couple of routes where they did come after her, which was clever.  He was spot on about Enju’s father disowning her though, even if he didn’t know it when he told her, which goes to show how much of an ass her dad is.

I need to set this all up to say after all this is revealed Kuroyuki decides that if he can’t be with her, he’ll at least make a better world for her, first by killing her ass of a dad (which, like, same.)  Coincidentally Enju, determined to find out who ordered Kuroyuki to kill the ruler to save Kuroyuki, decides to confront her dad on the matter as well.  So they both meet again while facing off her dad.  Enju wants to live and die with Kuroyuki, and in her reckless rush to protect Kuroyuki her dad stabs her.  Kuroyuki kills her dad (good) then carries Enju to a clear field.  He gives Enju the only thing he can give her at that point - a happy dream that everything turned out alright, and that he and all her friends are together and happy.  Enju dies peacefully in his arms.  He promises to join her soon.

Review

I feel like I’m going to say this every time we meet a yandere, but while I like seeing yanderes as obstacles, I don’t believe in good endings with yanderes, at least romantically.  Like if a boy can only see happiness by keeping one girl by his side with rope and a red eye that freezes your shadow so you can’t move, maybe he should, at the very least, try to connect with people other than her?  Like, maaaaaaybe take a break from each other, clear your mind?  No?  Enju wants to be with you forever now too?  Tch.  

That being said, I’m glad this was the bad end for this route, and not a yandere ending where Kuroyuki kills Enju or Enju gets trapped in an illusion so that she couldn’t escape or something.  Much as I like “WTF” bad endings this bad ending struck a chord in how...sad it is.  Hands down, this one made me cry for Enju and Kuroyuki.  Much as Kuroyuki’s got issues, he gave Enju a way to pass peacefully.  It hurt me when she closed her eyes, and it hurt me when Kuroyuki cried.

Gekkamaru - The Overprotective Childhood Friend to End All Overprotective Childhood Friends

Gekkamaru is Enju’s childhood friends and bodyguard, and is overprotective to a...concerning degree.  No matter which route you’re in he’ll come to Enju’s aid, ranging from “well that’s sweet” to “oh gawd Gekka pls calm tf down.”  So you can imagine how he acts in his own route.  Despite the over-protectiveness (though I suppose when you become a wanted criminal over-protectiveness is a welcome trait) Gakkamaru is probably the Best Boy of the whole game.  He’s earnest and a real sweetheart.  Its too bad that this route is about as tragic as Chojiro’s, except the tragedy happens gradually, over and over again, not to mention his bad end...

How to Get The Bad End 

So that whole servant-and-master thing?  Yeah it’s fine.  Gekkamaru wants to act as a servant towards Enju?  Eh, don’t worry about it.  Pick options that don’t rock the boat on their relationship.  Don’t pay attention to Gekkamaru’s growing feelings, it’s fine.  It’s fine!  Not like he’ll die or anything.  

What Happens

So he dies.  Turns out Gekkamaru’s been hypnotized not once, but twice!  Enju’s mother hypnotized him into protecting Enju at all costs, and his mother hypnotized him into want to kill Enju, due to her father killing his parents before she was born.  Enju was tricked into releasing Gekka from her mother’s spell, leaving him with the curse forcing him to attempt to Enju.  Before he could do the deed, Enju tell him she loves him.  Rather than her love breaking the curse, Gekka’s role as her servant and bodyguard wins over, and he stabs himself fatally.  Enju follows after him.

Review

This ending isn’t far off from what actually happens in the good ending, but it mattered how Gekkamaru broke the curse.  What killed him was his duty trumping both the curse AND his love.  It’s what Enju feared - that his devotion was only due to the spell, and that it would kill him.  It’s poetic, but given the roller coaster of tragedy that’s happened throughout the route it feels like just another addition to it.

Conclusion

If I were to rank these bad endings from least interesting to most interesting, I’d say Hanzo - Gekkamaru - Chojiro - Kuroyuki - Goemon.  Obviously if you’re looking at good ending ranking or best boy the ranking would be different, but that’s not what we’re here for!  This is BadEndVille babey!  Chojiro, Kuroyuki and Goemon are a bit of a toss-up, since all three of those bad endings match the character and evoke a unique sort of pain.  Hanzo and Gekkamaru’s endings are also sad, but I don’t think they’re as strong a finish as the others.  Chojiro, Kuroyuki and Goemon’s bad endings feel like a real conclusion to a tragedy, while Hanzo and Gekkamaru’s bad endings feel like a “whoopsie you killed yer boy from the top!”

Still, all the bad endings are fitting for how they occur: Enju and Her Love learned the wrong lessons.  Enju constantly has to face being hunted down by shinobi stronger than her, being abandoned by the village who treasured her and the father who never acknowledged her, and sometimes she has to face her own childhood friends.  But on the way she’s often with someone who loves her, who’s willing to carry her through.  What she needs isn’t just strength and willpower, its the desire to live.  Live even when it feels like it’d be easier for everyone if you were gone, because your life is not for others to use up and wilt.  

And in the bad end, Enju fails to learn that lesson.  She dies because she can’t see happiness in living, not without the person who loved her by her side, and doesn’t realize that there is a way out, that they can both be saved.  With Kuroyuki, they both agreed that they will live together and they will die together, and in every bad end Enju decided that dying together was the better option.

It’s the same for the boys: Goemon fails to keep his beliefs after Enju dies, Hanzo fails to save Enju because he couldn’t change his beliefs as a shinobi, Chojiro fails because he’s so certain that everything he loves with eventually wilt, Kuroyuki fails because he realizes the consequences of what he’s done too little too late, and Gekkamaru fails because he couldn’t truly see himself as anything other than a loyal servant, ready to die even if that dooms the one he serves to misery.  They all became Romeos and Juliets, too short-sighted to see the light beyond the horizon.

All this to say that if you have the time after completing the good endings for all the boys, grab some ice cream or any other sweet treat that suits you and go through these bad endings.  Let those sad feels wash over you for a bit.  Then get to those bonus stories in the extras because I THOUGHT I WAS DONE-

[amwritingmeta]

15x01: Belphegor, Spells and Symbology - Oh My!

So, my chickadees, we’re one TFW 2.0 member short. Yeah, such a bummer, right? The kid who’s so damnnn symbolic of change overall has bit the big one (courtesy of granddad) (like what?!) and is now in the big black Emptiness in the sky where all angels go when they bite it. (but what is the Empty symbolic of though?) (yessss indeed) (the unconscious where all self-liberation commences)

Okay, Jack be gone, but in his stead we now have this new kid on the block, yeah, and this new kid on the block is taking the place of the linchpin for Team Free Will’s push towards self-actualisation and it’s no wonder, then, that this new kid on the block is a speaker of truth! See what I’m getting at here?

Basically it’s just that Alexander Calvert - darling and dearling - is still playing a character pushing our boys towards Good Positive Change. Or so I believe. I mean, obviously we shall see, but the setup of Belphegor isn’t saying anything else. 

Oh, he can’t be trusted. Absolutely not. Night and day to Jack in that regard. Or, perhaps, I might go so far as to say that he’s Jack’s shadow manifested. *shrug* But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s Speaking Truths That No One Else Is Speaking. 

Man! Still not off the high from that episode, swear to God I would french Andrew Dabb in a heartbeat.

Okay, reeling it in.

So, three things -->

Thing the First: Truths

He calls Cas an abomination in that stupid, dumb trench coat. This goes to the very core of Cas’ internal struggle with his identity, so this calling out of it, threading back through Cas’ journey, feels weighty af. 

He speaks candidly of having worshipped a giant rock shaped like a penis as a human and is, unabashedly, checking out men and women alike (shouldn’t actually ascribe bisexual as his choice sexuality but he is clearly not straight), and then he subtly flirts with Dean, which skeeves Dean out since Jack was kinda his kid, so yeah, stop that immediately, Belphegor. (but hey if he jumps vessel then all bets are off) (just saying) 

*rubs hands together because oh my god I really want there to be textual flirtation that doesn’t go anywhere obviously because Belphegor is already picking up on the tension between two certain someones*

Belphegor also brings up Hell and Alastair and Dean breaking and torturing souls! Like what?!! The callbacks to end all callbacks. To the beginning of it ALL. Like, yeah, we’re in the final stretch here and Dabb is not kidding around.

And yes, Belphegor calls the moment Dean and Cas share at the end of the episode what it is, which is awkward, and then tries to prod Cas to talk about it. Albeit ironically (of course Cas won’t open up to him) he’s still doing it because he just doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him and this is precisely the sort of character these two need to poke and prod at their inability to fucking communicate openly.

Hot damn! 

But. We shall see what we get. :P

It’s interesting that he barely interacts with Sam. Sam is his own man this episode in very many ways and I very much like it. 

Thing the Second: Spells

Graveyard Dirt and Angel Blood

Naturally most of us, I’m sure, immediately thought of the “I’m always happy to bleed for the Winchesters” moment in S7. Here, Cas isn’t so happy. He’s suspicious, and rightly so, of this new player on the scene. Still, he complies.

Now, there are things to take from this scene that have to do with life vs death, mortality vs immortality or even Earth vs (or if you’d rather) combined with Heaven. 

Cas’ strong reaction to Belphegor defiling Jack and Belphegor predominantly having a personal interaction with Cas through calling out the trench coat (symbolic of duty/humanity and at this point that space Cas occupies between) puts the focus on them here. Add to that the need of angel blood and it’s even more heavily linked to Cas symbolically, right?

What exactly does the symbology mean? Honestly, beats me. It feels like a foreshadowing that won’t be clear to us until further down the line (hopefully), but it excites me to think that for a character who has battled for his entire progression with the question of where he belongs, we get a spell that literally combines dirt or earth with the blood of Heaven.

Does that mean that there’s a choice to be made - mortal man or immortal wavelength? - or does it mean that Cas is already a bit of both and just has to accept himself as he is and continue on wearing that stupid, dumb trench coat proudly, the same way he has for a good while now, eh? 

Well, that is the real question, isn’t it?

But then again, I’m a bit biased. :)

Mound of Salt and Human Heart

This one’s very interesting as it’s tied more directly to both Dean and Sam. Cas is a part of it too, as he’s with Sam when the spell is cast and they run for the safety of it together, but Sam is the one most affected by it, and I’m curious to see what effect it will have on Dean as well. 

Why?

Because what does salt mean on this show?

It means protection. The spell is, literally, a protection spell, right? A magic ring of salt a mile wide - no ghosts in and no ghosts out. For characters who have always been incredibly haunted by their past, though in subtext, the external hauntings are being salt-circled away from them, while the human heart of the spell could symbolise the brothers’ hearts actually entering a safe space as well.

Again, why?

Because of what Sam does the moment he passes the perimeters of the spell.

He turns around and he faces a fear that has been very pronounced on the show - his fear of clowns (or, as I’d argue, his fear of people wearing masks, not showing their true face) - and he tells that fear to shut up.

Mind. So. Blown.

What a moment for him! *goddamn fist-pumping the air for him*

The heart is at the centre here, and the heart symbology has always been extremely strong with Dean, but in 13x12 it was Sam’s heart on the line and now both of them are linked to the beating heart on that mound of salt linked to a sense of safety, of protection, of trust. The potential, peeps. The potential of a deeper exploration of what the want in their heart of hearts. Yeah? 

Not just in the coming few episodes within that mile wide magical ring of protective salt, because Lord knows how long that’ll last, but through the symbology of it. I mean, what a way to instil hope that this is what they’ll all be pushed to explore during the coming season. *fingers crossed*

Thing the Third: Motivation

Or possible motivation for Belphegor. 

Given his speech in the crypt about wanting Hell to stay as it always has, it’s intriguing that he’s an opposite mirror of Anael. She had a boring, repetitive job and she couldn’t wait to get out of Heaven. She chose to make a life for herself on Earth because she actually wanted to help people (if that statement sticks) (I’d love for her to come back this season and then all bets are off) while Belphegor wants to help the Winchesters restore Hell to its recent glories so that he can go back to punching that clock. And, you know, torturing souls.

Too simple?

Yeah, maybe. 

Of course he knows who the brothers are (love that there are newspapers in Hell) and this feels like a possible plant for him actually seeking them out specifically. Might not be, but it’s an interesting plant if so. Because of how Lucifer tried to make Nick resurrect him, for one, but also because of the Heaven/Hell dichotomy overall and who’s vying for what and who’s on the side of whom. *curious af*

Here we finally have a character who might have some personal stakes in driving a wedge between these men, and what better way to drive a wedge than to dredge out truths no one’s speaking, thinking it’ll break them apart when we know it’ll actually only serve to open their eyes to their own blindness and will end up making them stronger, individually and, through that, as a group.

*gah*

Could Belphegor not be Belphegor? 

Yeah, but I don’t see why he would be. 

I think he’s Belphegor the demon, but his stated motivations might just be a half-truth. Perhaps he’s even linked to Michael. darkest!Michael would be something tbh. After all, Michael was always, even if God held the ultimate reins, the shadow along the edges of the brothers’ fate. And after a few lifetimes in that cage, I do wonder exactly what might emerge. *goosebumps* 

That said, Michael is a pale representative for toxic masculinity when the Almighty himself has stepped into those shoes, so symbolically it might be more fitting that we get something entirely different. Time will tell!

[mittensmorgul]

Yes Hi hello excuse me WHAT????! When "Micheal" was torturing TFW 2.0, why wasn't Jack included? Like he was just stood there. Micheal just completely ignored him

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

Also, I wonder if Sam and Dean realized that Cas was also affected, down on the floor, unable to breathe and as blind as they were. They heard Jack talking, and knew that Jack was unaffected, so why was Cas affected too? At least, that’s what I have to assume Sam and Dean were aware of, and thinking... not that they were wondering why Cas was unaffected, but that they didn’t even realize he was... 

that is a really convoluted series of thoughts, but I think I eventually got to the point. sorry about that :P

So YES. Was Michael simply excluding Jack from his torments? Or was Jack’s specific torment to watch the people he loves suffer and die? Because throughout this episode, I kept thinking back to the conversation Michael had with Jack in 14.09:

Jack: My uncle's in the Cage. And you -- you're not family. Michael: Well, not literally, no. Our connection, our relation is more a matter of scale... of power. Haven't you learned yet? In this reality, monsters, humans, even angels -- they are insects, atoms compared to us. But you -- you're just a child, a mere infant. For you, the past two years -- the entirety of your existence -- feel like eons. You don't even know what time is. But you will. Real time, the time that makes mountains, that wipes out species. You'll see it all... with me.Jack: No.Michael: Year by year, century by century, and as your power returns and grows, we'll only become more alike. Oh, I know. Your loyalty to Castiel, the Winchesters, the rest of humanity? It will fade. And so will the minor differences -- angel armies versus monster armies, this Kansas City or that Kansas City, one world from another -- they'll fade, too.

And not just with regard to Michael and Jack, but also regarding both Cas AND Rowena.

This is the leverage Michael used over Rowena, despite her attempt to laugh him off because of the prophecy that Sam will be the one to kill her, making her effectively immortal against Michael. Because Rowena has made herself effectively immortal with her magic. She’s resurrected herself multiple times, and doesn’t fear death. It’s by her own CHOICE, and her actions in continuing to recharge her resurrection spell, and use whatever magic she does to keep herself young and alive after more than 300 years. Essentially the only threat to her immortality would be her choice to STOP doing those things and allow herself to age and die like a mortal human.

But also with regard to Cas’s similar-yet-vastly-different point from Michael’s quoted above on living out beyond their mortal human loved ones:

Jack: I hate seeing him like that, But, he’s gonna be okay, right? I mean, it’s Dean. He... It was a fight. It was-- it was just a fight.Cas: Every time we go out, there’s always a risk.Jack: I-I can’t think about losing him, or-- or Sam, or you. I-I just, I hate, I hate thinking about it.Cas: Yeah, so do I. But Jack, you know, Sam and Dean, they’re human, and they’re very extraordinary, brave, special humans, but they’re still humans, and humans burn bright, but for a very brief time compared to, you know, things like us. And eventually, they’re gone. Even the very best ones, and we have to carry on. It’s just, it’s part of growing up.Jack: Losing people?Cas: Yes.Jack: What’s the point?Cas: The point?Jack: What’s the point of being a cosmic being if everyone I care about is just gonna... leave?Cas: The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you-- When they’re gone, it will hurt. But that hurt will remind you of how much you love them.Jack: That sounds... awful.Cas: Yes, but it’s also living. When Dean wakes up, and he will wake up, we just have to remember to appreciate the time we all have together now.

AND ACK. I mean... at least Jack understands that it’s awful. That imagining that eternity out beyond the death of everyone you love is just a horrific prospect. And he’s only TWO. Cas is however many billions of years old, and yet he’s been so indelibly changed in just the last decade, and still he doesn’t quite get how this Cosmic Being Perspective doesn’t even really fit with his current situation, you know?

Jack tries to call BS on this, asking what will happen if Dean DOESN’T wake up, and Cas literally says he doesn’t know. And the conversation devolves into Jack’s feeling of uselessness if he can’t use his powers to help the people he loves, and Cas agreeing and understanding his frustration. I mean... this is getting close to the core of Cas’s journey of self-understanding all the time.

The things he hasn’t considered yet-- what it might really be like for him once the people he loves truly die for the last time, and what his real “use” to them is while they’re still alive. Is it his powers that weren’t even able to heal Dean in this episode? Or is it just HIM, regardless of his cosmic powers?

And that’s something he’s still coming to understand.

[shirtlesssammy]

14x07: Unhuman Business

Then:

LaLaLa, this is not happening, LaLaLa

Now:

Uh, something seems to be wrong with my TV. Just Lucifer Nick blabbering on about his family and his regret for killing people that won’t help him find who killed his family.

At the bunker, Jack is not doing great, guys. Cas is attempting to heal him, but whatever is wrong with Jack is beyond his angel powers.

As the boys discuss their impossible situation, Jack falls to the floor, coughing blood and foaming at the mouth. They rush him to the hospital ASAP. 

Worried Dad Dean is HIGH MAINTENANCE, but I’ll forgive his overbearing ways. Jack is in deep trouble. First, the hospital just needs some basic data, like name and date of birth, both of which the Winchesters fumble on. Jack’s a Winchester you doofs! And I guess Jack is 18. And his dad exploded. Jack then collapses and the medical staff rush him to a room, Sam, Dean, and Cas by his side. 

(That framing tho)

God, my TV buzzed out again. Please stand by while I figure out WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT NICK. He talks to a reporter and learns there was a cop, Frank Kellogg, who was patrolling Nick’s neighborhood the night his family died.

At the hospital, Jack’s tests results all came back negative. They’re going to have to run more tests. (Lol, I love how all of this is put in the vaguest way possible. Like not all tests are positive or negative, and what are they testing for?) The one thing they do know: His body is in complete systemic shutdown. (I read on Twitter the friendly reminder that you’re not a real hunter until you’ve died and come back again. Coolcoolcoolcoolcool.)

The brothers decide it’s time to explore other options: Rowena. Dean suggests calling her. Sam already did. (Samwitch! --my Saileen heart hates me every time I goof about this) (Natasha: SAME) The doctor walks in on the boys dressing Jack to leave. AND LET ME JUST FALL INTO A PIT OF EMOTION watching Cas put his coat on Jack.

ROWENA arrives as fast as she can (like, oof, there isn’t anything in this for her. She just showed up to help the Winchesters? Guh.) She thinks Dean is in trouble, but Sam reveals it’s really Jack, Lucifer’s son. Rowena’s out. Before she bolts though, Jack works his magic nougat ways.

Rowena breaks the bad news that without Jack’s grace, his nephilim body can’t sustain itself. Cas offers up his own grace to save him. I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! As Ro is nixing that idea, Dean’s vision starts to blur and his hearing warbles in and out. 

Not sure what was happening in this next Nick scene. He’s weird around a woman in an alley. She invites him back into the bar (WHY?) (Natasha: WHYYYYYYYY?) and then he secretly pulls a knife. In a brief moment of clarity, he yells at her to get away and she runs. And for the record: the giant neon S stands for Satan.

At the bunker, Overprotective Dean brings Jack a sandwich and milk. PURE. Jack is packing up and ready to hit the road, live a little before he dies. I’M NOT DYING, YOU’RE DYING.

Dean gets some serious dimples of discontent after listening to Jack but he’s not disagreeing with the boy.

Sam and Cas AND Rowena are on the research train. Cas presides over a mountain of books while Rowena and Sam call everyone they think might be able to help the poor young wee nephilim.

Dean gets the updates. The books are a bust, but Sam talked to Ketch, who has tipped them off about a shaman who might help. Dean takes all this in...maybe? In actuality, Dean wavers in and out of focus again. Oh, Dean Bean. Cas offers to tackle the shaman lead and the Winchesters can stay behind to look out for Jack. Enter Jack, with backpack, ready for adventure! Dean and Jack are heading out, to Castiel’s disapproval.

A little while later, Dean and Jack pick up some burgers and Dean tosses Baby’s keys to wee Jack. It’s driving lesson time! There’s so much wrapped up in this scene: Dean’s stunted childhood, his incredible capacity to nurture, Jack’s hero worship. MY HEART is wrapped up in this scene. They ease out on the road and Jack gains confidence quickly.

Dean turns on some tunes and BTO’s “Let it ride” sets the mood. Classic rock is such an important aspect of this show, and we didn’t realize how much we missed it as a set piece until this scene of open road driving.

(I’ll confess that I spent the first viewing of this scene ready for Jack to pass out and the car to careen dramatically off the road. I’m glad it didn’t.)

Cas heads out to find Sergei the shaman but before he goes, he talks with Sam about Dean’s reaction to Jack’s illness. “He seems to be taking this particularly hard,” Castiel observes. Sam tells him that Dean feels bad for the time he spent wishing Jack a swift and painful death at the beginning of last season.

Heartbreaking dialogue alert:

Sam: He’s lost people. We’ve all lost people but…

Cas: This feels different. Losing a son feels different.

But stow away those emotions, friends, because it’s time to go back to fun!Dad Dean. They’re eating more fast food, pulled over on the side of the road. “I’m a driver!” Jack announces gleefully. Yes, bby. Dean suggests a bar with promising hook-up potential. (Me: flashes back to Dean’s “Last night on Earth” speech with Cas back in season 4...and like, all of season 3.) Jack’s got other plans.

Nick finds Frank Kellogg, brings up the bare facts of his case, and then pushes Frank inside and holds him by the throat. Time to chat.

By a tumbling, small river, Jack gets into Dean’s deepest emotions like he’s ordering an ice cream shake at a diner. While they fish, Jack casually brings up that Dean and his father went fishing and that it was one of Dean’s happiest memories of him. Dean tries to dissemble, but Jack’s sure as a rock. (Now, there’s been some discussion about whether this was meant to refer to John or Bobby. My vote’s heavily on John. Dean loved his father, was disappointed by him, and longed for many things he could never have at the same time. Fishing with John Winchester was probably a shocking circle of calm - a pool of stillness and peace.)

Jack tells Dean that he wouldn’t miss the big, showy things in the world. Instead, he’d miss more time with Dean and the other people in his life.

Dean BARELY holds it together, a quaver in his voice as he returns, “Who’d’ve thought time with me would make you sentimental?” Dean. Bean.

Meanwhile, Cas drives his adorable blue car to meet Sergei the shaman. He’s immediately enveloped in a circle of holy fire. Thanks, buddy.

Sergei lives in a pimped out trailer, with flowers painted on the exterior and lushly colored and patterned textiles draped all over the interior. He proposes a “recharging agent” for Jack - something to shock his system and derail the degeneration. He offers Cas archangel grace (purportedly from Gabriel) and a spell to activate it. And the cost is simply that the Winchesters will owe him a favor. Sounds like a hell of a price to me.

Meanwhile Nick beats the shit out of Frank Kellogg. We learn that Nick’s neighbor saw Frank leave his house the night of the murders and the cops made him cover it up. Frank confesses that he met a man named Abraxis outside of Nick’s house and the next thing he knew, he was covered in blood. Frank was possessed by a demon which is some crazy ass shit, right? Sigh. Nick kills Frank horribly anyway, in a scene that goes on for WAY too long.

WAY the fuck too long.

In a giant breath of fresh air, we get back to the bunker, once again full of TFW 2.0 and Rowena Our Queen. They hand Jack the grace and it enters his body as Rowena chants the spell. Lights flicker. Jack’s eyes glow golden again. It’s worked!

Jack stumbles and falls again, worse than before.

Cas chews out Sergei via phone call and Sergei defends himself by saying that “science is sometimes trial and error.” It’s...awfully reminiscent of Michael’s experimentation, yes? It also reminds me of real world experimental parallels - now and throughout history. In a word: yikes.

Side note: Having once had a loved one’s body try to shut down in the ICU with no discernible cause...this episode really did hit home for me. It’s so easy in fiction to have a magical healing ability, and so much harder when there’s no explanation, no quick cure, and treatments that have your doctors crossing their fingers. I feel for all these dudes, and the doctors as well, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, Cas is pissed, and vows to smite Sergei’s ass if Jack dies.

For Vengeful Science

At Frank’s house, Nick prays to Lucifer and begs him to come back. In the blackness of the Empty, what looks like the Empty entity morphs into being and its eyes glow Lucifer-red. Well, fuck. (I’m actually excited to see the Empty again, but I am quite displeased about Lucifer.)

In the bunker, TFW mourns Jack’s rapidly failing condition. Rowena counsels them to stay by his side, for death approaches on swift wings.

Root Beer Quotes:

He’s sick, his name is Jack Kline, his father exploded.

Samuel, I thought we were beyond this.

Well, if it’s grace he needs, he can have mine.

Eyes on the road.

This is the best day ever!!!

Born with a wheel in your hand, huh?

Life isn’t all these big, amazing moments. It’s time together that matters.

Life - all of it - is a risk.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[pherryt]

For the Ship + Sentence game: Destiel (or gen!TFW) “I picked the wrong week to quit drinking...”

Okay, i was actually out for a walk when i got this and then i had the most difficult time getting this going but once I did, well, 1556 words later, here ya go… 

canon divergent, bunker fic, confessions, possibly spell related, Destiel with Sam rolling his eyes on the sidelines

it’s long so i used a read more

“Ipicked the wrong week to quit drinking…” Dean groaned, slumping down in his chair and cradling his head inhis hands.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” Castiel sat beside him,concern present in his voice though Dean refused to look at him.

“Pretty sure my life just imploded. I need adrink, Cas,” Dean whined.

“Don’t listen to him, Cas,” Sam said, slamminga book down on the table and Dean whimpered.

“You’re so mean,Sammy!”

“Would someone please enlighten me as to what’sgoing on?” Castiel asked. Dean blushed and looked away, clamming up. “Dean? Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

Sam laughed and Dean dropped his head to the table with another groan.

“Why don’t you just tell him, Dean?”

“Screw you, Sam,” Dean grumbled.

“Oh, I see…” Castiel stood, his voice hurt. “I’ll go makemyself useful in the library then.”

Dean jumped up and grabbed Cas’s arm. “Don’t do that! Forthe love of…of…just… trust me, you do notwant to do that.”

Cas pulled his arm out of Dean’s grasp. “It’s clear you don’twant to talk about whatever’s bothering you, though your brother seems to know,so I think I’ll decide for myself what I do and do not want.”

Dean let out a strangled sound and scrambled after Cas ashe walked out of the kitchen, through the map room and straight for thelibrary. He could hear Sam laughing his ass off behind them and Dean hopedhe really did laugh his ass off. It would serve his pain in the butt brotherright.

“Cas, I’m serious – you don’t want to go in there!” Dean shouteddesperately after the disappearing angel. He tripped over the steps on his wayup and missed another swipe at Cas’s elbow.

Slippery angel.

He knew as soon as Cas saw it, for the angel had frozen inthe door of the library. Dean wanted to slink off with his tail between hislegs, if he had one, that was.

Tentatively, he forced himself forward instead and stoodbeside Cas in the doorway, keeping his head down. He didn’t need to see thelibrary, he already knew what was in there. 

Talk about wearing his heart on hissleeve.

Gulping, Dean said quietly, “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t wantto burden you with my shit. And I can’t seem to get rid of it. I think we – or I- tripped some sort of spell or something.”

“Dean, you thought… I’d be mad about this?” Castiel said. Somethingin his tone had Dean raising his head some and looking up and over at theangel.

“Uh… yes?” he said uncertainly.

Cas didn’t look back, just continued to stare into thelibrary. Dean could see his eyes flicking over every inch. He knew what he’dsee. It was the worst kind of sappy, Valentine’s day shit he could even thinkof.

Which was actually because he had.

Every last bit of it had come from him, from his mind. Thingshe’d maybe imagined once or twice before burying in the deep dark recesses ofhis mind, slapped in a box which he then locked and buried with the word ‘unattainable’written on the stone marking the spot.

He’d even thrown away the virtual key.

It never really stopped him from imagining a future withhim and Cas in it, if their lives had been different. It didn’t keep him fromthe daydreams of domesticity, from having wet dreams and waking up hard. It didn’tkeep him from longing for things he couldn’t have, or didn’t deserve.

For Cas.

Fuck his life. He wanteda drink so bad. After Cas walked away, confirming all of Dean’s worst fears, hedidn’t think he’d be able to make it through the rest of the day withoutgetting so black out drunk he couldn’t remember the pain of Cas’s rejection.

At least, before heknew, there was always that inkling of hope that maybe Cas wouldn’t. But Deanknew, in his heart, that there wasn’t any hope, not for someone like him.

“I’m sorry,” Deansaid again, helplessly, his eyes burning with tears he refused to shed.

And then Castielturned, the most beautific smile on his face that it stole Dean’s breath away. “Whyare you sorry, Dean? This… this is a dream come true. A dream I had not daredto allow myself.”

“W-what?” Dean blinked.What had Cas just said?

“Dean, I love you,”Castiel said earnestly, those blue eyes boring into Dean. Dean could drown in thoseeyes, he was almost certain of it. “I’ve always loved you. There is no place I’drather be than at your side.”

“But, Cas, you’realways leaving. I thought – that was a pretty clear indication that –"Dean fumbled.

“I only left becauseI felt I should. For so many reasons. Because I thought, however erroneously,that I wasn’t truly wanted outside of the things I could help with, because therewere things I needed to do, and because…” Castiel paused and turned to faceDean completely. “Because I thought I would not give in to the ill-advised temptationto kiss you, when I was certain it would just result in you hurting your handon my face once more.”

“So… Cas… what areyou saying?” Dean edged closer, licking his lips hopefully.

“I’m saying that I havewanted to kiss you, you infuriating human, almost since the moment I raised youfrom perdition, and that desire has only gotten stronger the longer I’ve known you.”

“Even when I stabbedyour ass?” Dean couldn’t resist asking.

“You did not stab mein the ass, you stabbed me in the chest,” Cas deadpanned but Dean could see thetwinkle in his eyes.

“You jackass,” Deanlaughed. Castiel’s face broke into one of his rare, gummy smiles, the one thatset Deans heart twitterpating.

“Will the two of youkiss already so I can call Rowena to fix this? The overabundance of pink, redand white is literally killing my eyes. The declarations of Dean’s love for Casis a lovely sentiment but overly… annoying since it’s morphed all the bookspines to read only that. And did you know what I found when I opened one of those books?” Sam saidfrom behind them, causing Dean to startle and step back, almost falling downthe stairs backwards if Cas hadn’t caught him like some sort of damsel in distress.

“Dammit, Sammy!”Dean yelled.

“I’m scarred forlife, Dean. Just so you know. There are some parts of you I have seen that I neverwanted to see and never want to see again. Same goes for you, Cas. I’m happyfor both of you, keep me out of your sex life.” Sam shoved a book at Dean. “So,fix this so I can get back to doing some research.”

He disappeared,leaving Dean and Cas to blink after him. Dean looked down at the book. He lookedup at the room, then down at the book. How much worse could it be?

Taking a breath,Dean opened the book and then choked.

Cas leaned over topeer into its pages with him. “Is it an instruction manual on copulation? Iassure you, my hands-on experience may be limited but I am fully aware of how to havesex, no matter the genders of the parties involved.”

Dean choked againand slammed the book shut on its… terribly suggestive images of him and Cas.

No wonder Sam waspissed. Through no fault of his own, Dean had somehow defiled Sam’s happyplace.

If someone had redecoratedthe Dean Cave in a similar fashion involving Sam, Dean was quite certain hemight throw up.

He creaked the bookopen again and stared, flipping a few pages to see the different positions it suggested. Deancleared his throat and looked at Castiel biting his lip thoughtfully.

“So uh, do you thinka kiss is good enough, or do we have to follow the ways of the Dee-sti-el Kama Sutrato make the library go back to normal?”

“Deestiel?” Cas tiltedhis head.

“Oh uh, just… just somethingSam and I picked up on a case, once. Don’t worry about it.” Dean blushed,remembering the girls and their musical. It hadn’t actually been that bad, butit had been a little wrenching, especially seeing the fake!Dean and fake!Cas andfinding out they were a couple.

Something he thoughthe would never have.

Apparently, he’d beenwrong.

“I’m not opposed togoing further,” Castiel said evenly. Deans mind did a record scratch. He wasalmost certain he actually heard the needle scratching. “But just a kiss wouldalso be fine, if you’re amenable.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,”Dean said breathlessly, eyes wide.

He couldn’t believe thiswas happening, that this was real. He stared at Cas until the angel rolled hiseyes, grabbed Dean gently by the shoulders and slotted their mouths together.

Dean melted into thekiss with a moan, grabbing onto Cas’s accursed (beloved) trenchcoat to keep onhis feet.

Worst week ever toquite drinking? Dean may have been wrong about that, but he was happilychanging his mind right now.

Dean’s been to Hell,Heaven and points in between and kissing Cas had all those places beat.

[mr-gooseyshoes]

(ASKS ARE OPEN!!! Version 1.1. The original should be referred to as ‘Version 1.0’. Full size of the regular version [3000x1000] in my Sta.sh!

Feel free to ask these guys questions! Or maybe roleplay with any of them. I have enough spare time for both! 😊

Anything with an asterisk is IRL or other matters involving the character.

‘COO’ stands for ‘country of origin’, ‘COR’ stands for ‘country of residence’.)

Info on each character, prepare for a long read.

🍰 Mr. Gooseyshoes 🎸

Full name: Yvan August Gooseyshoes (Originally nameless, then titled ‘Clumsy One’, then was eventually given his current name.)

Species: Humanoid toon

Height: 4'4 ft

Est. age: Mid-late 20s / Canonical birthday: August 31st / ‘Creation date’: Same day, 1931

COO: France 🇫🇷

COR: United States 🇺🇸

True origin*: (When I decided to play around with my Robloxian’s look, I made the limbs and torso different colors: left arm green, right arm red, torso blue, left leg white, right leg black. At the time, I couldn’t easily determine his gender, but he was undoubtedly male-presenting. This dated back between 2013 and -15, possibly making him the ‘youngest’ member.)

Beginning: Starting off in black & white comics translated from French, Yvan was a mischievous slapstick character with a lack of common sense. He had companions; his cousin Kenneth (can also be called ‘Ken’ or ‘Kenny’), and a rogue clown named Barry. He was the clumsiest of all, and was (and still is!) known to swing large items around, knocking the other two over; this lead to a fight, but they made up later.

(cont.) Despite the antics and mean-spirited remarks the two made at strangers without him, Yvan mostly stuck to jokes and harmless pranks…when he’s not accidentally being hit in the face with planks and canes. There were even colored animated shorts of the three, a series which only lasted a couple of years due to budget problems; the three went their separate ways, until meeting again decades later.

📖 Ollie 🎶

Full name: Oliviero Percy Rigatoni (Originally just ‘Oliviero’)

Species: Humanoid toon

Height: 4'3 ft

Est. age: Mid-late 20s / Canonical birthday: September 18th / ‘Creation date’: Same day, 1971

COO: Italy 🇮🇹

COR: United States 🇺🇸

True origin*: (I drew a picture of a man with blue skin and reddish-pink eyes, somewhat like the current design. The only things that haven’t changed are his hair and eyes. This estimates back to 2011.)

Beginning: N/A (TFW you’re too mentally exhausted to continue writing stories about your own characters. Don’t worry, I’ll get to it!)

⛪ Doug the Dog 🎼

Full name: Douglas Noah Beagle

Species: Anthro dog toon

Height: 3'2 ft

Est. age: Early 30s / Canonical birthday: May 21st / ‘Creation date’: Same day, 1994

COO: United States 🇺🇸

COR: See ‘COO’

True origin*: (In this universe, he’s a toon; but in the real world? He’s an arts & crafts sockpuppet from my old church, hence why I gave him a cross and halo. He doesn’t have his ears, but the hair is there. I also based the sweater off his sock design, making the brown a little darker so it didn’t look weird. Est. 2004-5, making him the ‘oldest’.)

Beginning: There was a drop of Christian faith in the neighborhood. A local church had lost a lot of members over the years, the lack of interest among youth causing too many seats to go unfilled. Thanks to 3 of the churchgoers having a knack for drawing; they passed around ideas back and forth until eventually settling with Doug and his family; his father Harry, his uncle Rufus, and eventually, Roxanne in “Episode 10: Someone I Know Isn’t A Christian. What Do I Do?”. They already had their own website, and Flash animation was all the rage at the time!

(cont.) Was it easy? Not really. But Doug did have fans, even receiving letters from a few of them straight to the church nearly daily. The makers received a lot of attention across the web, the cartoon dog being loved for several different reasons; his important life lessons, his adorable appearance, his kindness, and his relatable nature. Some news: As all 3 animators started raising families of their own, the responsibility of running the series went to younger members so that the original ones could spend time with their kids. (A lot of time passed since 1994. They were 14, 15 and 16 upon starting; the 9 new members are all between 15 and 30.)

📼 Troy ⚽

Full name: Troy Nate Donaldson

Species: Cyclops-esque toon

Height: 3'10 ft

Est. age: 13 years 🔞 / Canonical birthday: December 9th / ‘Creation date’: Same day, 1979 (First televised 1985. Seems he’s been a youngin for an awfully long time…)

COO: United States 🇺🇸

COR: See ‘COO’

True origin*: (Like Ollie, he started off as a drawing; I even drew him with a tornado for a mouth once. The only differences being that I gave him longer hair up front, and a wardrobe unlike his original one.)

Beginning: Two brothers had a great idea for a show; animated figures cross into the real world via portal, walking into the backyard of a human kid named Jesse. Troy would be seen exploring elements foreign to him; such as ladybugs, soccer balls, and the grass being green. Because of time limits, Troy was never given a mouth outside of concept art, which meant not worrying about lip syncing when they had other things to do.

(cont.) Jesse taught Troy how to play 1-on-1 soccer, then taught him how to spell larger words such as ‘dictionary’ and ‘encyclopedia’. The show also had montages of Jesse chasing after the one-eyed people (including Troy), which was a running gag involving disguises and leaving messes behind. The show ended in 1990, 5 years after its first episode, as there was no more of the story to tell. To this day, he is still a child by choice.

📚 Mrs. Donaldson 🍇

Full name: Athena Jessica Donaldson

Species: Cyclops-esque toon

Height: 5'2 ft

Est. age: Mid-to-late 30s / Canonical birthday: April 15th / ‘Creation date’: December 12th, 1979 (First televised 1985.)

COO: United States 🇺🇸

COR: See ‘COO’

True origin*: (I thought of a beautiful cyclops-looking woman. Smart, too. She just popped up into my brain while drawing some art.)

Beginning: Before becoming an art teacher, Mrs. Donaldson was a guardian of her hometown (in our world, that’s like being a cop), making sure no one suffered as a result of crime. One day, she felt that Troy needed to be educated about alternate dimensions, which led her to take him to a vastly different version of America; or more specifically, a human family’s backyard in Tennessee. While the location was random, the weather was just right. Unfortunately, the portal was open for too long, a bunch of Troy and Athena’s people ran out from it with joy, then it closed behind them indefinitely. Due to the fuel inside of the portal wand being extremely hard to find in this dimension, they were gonna be stuck here for a while.

(cont.) They were not ones to panic so quickly; instead, they sought out knowledge and resources from this different Earth. She played the role of protecting these people before, and would gladly do it again. Athena did not star in as many episodes as her son did, her count being 283 out of 294. She also taught morals when not teaching the basics of art, ranging from honesty to sharing. Parents complained about her old outfit, so the brothers had to put her in what she wears now to avoid being cancelled before wrapping things up.

💷 Ken 🚬

Full name: Kenneth Joseph Cross

Species: Humanoid toon

Height: 4'3.5 ft

Est. age: Early-to-mid 20s / Canonical birthday: March 4th / ‘Creation date’: August 31st, 19??

COO: United Kingdom 🇬🇧 (Made by a Frenchman, though.)

COR: See ‘COO’ (Sometimes goes to America, but only to visit relatives.)

True origin*: (Okay, so I thought ‘Why not draw a guy with a large grin/frown?’ I sometimes pictured him in black & white stripes as well, but maybe I’ll use that kind of design for his pre-color days.)

Beginning: N/A

🎭 “Barry The Buffoon” 🔨

Full name: Fionnbharr Patrick Emmett (Originally nameless, then only titled as “The Buffoon”, then was eventually given his current name.)

Species: Humanoid toon

Height: 4'1 ft

Est. age: Mid-to-late 30s / Canonical birthday: May 6th / ‘Creation date’: August 31st, 1931

COO: Scotland (Made by a Frenchman, though. No Scottish flag emoji? Boo. ;n;)

COR: See ‘COO’

True origin*: (I was inspired from watching some cartoon shorts from the 20s and 30s, mainly B&W ones. Plus, I wanted to give this random clown a meaningful role.)

Beginning: N/A

🍮 Buford 🐕

Full name: Sir Buford of Birmingham XIV (the 14th)

Species: Quadruped dog toon

Height: 1'3 ft

Est. age: Bet. 1-5 years / Canonical birthday: September 1st / ‘Creation date’: January 29th, 2003

COO: England 🇬🇧

COR: United States 🇺🇸

True origin*: (I imagined Yvan having a talking dog who truly loved his master, making sure he was happy and healthy. I hope he actually looks like a Scottish terrier, or at least some kind of terrier breed/mix.)

Beginning: Sir Buford was one of the secondary antagonists of a show called “Canines Out Of Line", an ongoing series about bipedal dogs breaking the law, spending money carelessly, and doing things I shouldn’t mention. (equivalent rating of TV-14) Buford was a dog that gained the ability to speak by accidentally eating a dog treat, which his then-owner pulled out of a strange beaker containing unnamed chemicals. It was meant to be thrown out, but Dr. Mecha (no medical degree) wasn’t fast enough. She marvelled at how her pet (at the time) started talking like an Englishman, taking notes on his newfound vocal abilities.

(cont.) Sadly, when word spread around the neighborhood about a talking dog, the COOL blew up Dr. Mecha’s lab and tried to force Buford to join; he refused, and was held hostage. He fought them off, escaped back to his home, and came back to see the female scientist who cared for him still alive, making it a happy-ish ending. Despite that, things only got darker from there. From the start, he was determined to bring C.O.O.L. down, one way or another.

More characters coming soon?

[the-trashy-phoenix]

Supernatural season 8 review (part 1)

Link to part 2:

The first episode of the eighth season resumes from Dean coming back from purgatory and doing a weird spell to bring back also a friend he’s made in there, Benny. This starting in medias res was a bit puzzling, because we expect to see what’s happened in purgatory and we’ll learn only later on that those events will be recalled by flashbacks. It is also quite strange to introduce a new character without any presentation in the first episode, especially because Benny raises some questions in the viewer. As a matter of fact, he’s a vampire who’s helped Dean in the last year proving himself trustworthy, so that he’ll come back through the season, for example having the entire episode 5 devoted to him and his story, to help the brothers. This character is another step forward in Dean’s personal growth as a hunter: as I pointed out in the previous review, in the first seasons he would’ve never become friends with a vampire, but now, thanks to his wide experience, he’s able to distinguish real good creatures from evil monsters. This attitude, which could seem more Sam-like, brings about a sort of role reversal between the brothers, as for some time Sam will be skeptical about Benny’s trustworthiness, maybe just as a reaction to Dean’s lack of trust towards his friend Amy, who establishes a kind of parallel with Benny.

As if Benny’s appearance wasn’t confusing enough, we’re led to question at least on other two points. First of all, where’s Castiel? He was sent to purgatory together with Dean, but he didn’t come back with him. We’ll get the answer thanks to the many flashbacks Dean recalls about his rough year in purgatory: Dean refuses to talk explicitly about what’s happened to Cas assuming he’ll never come back and behaving as usual when he suffers for someone’s loss (we’ve seen an identical attitude about Bobby’s death).

Secondly, where’s Sam and what has he been doing during Dean’s absence? We find out together with Dean that he’s been living a normal life with a girl, Amelia, and his dog. So purgatory and Sam’s life are the alternative objects of flashbacks through the entire season, whose consequential plot is often complicated by continuous switches in time, marking once for all the big difference from the first linear seasons. Sam was the first to maintain the promise not to look for the brother while he was dead, and he thought it was the way Dean wanted him to live. I found it quite strange of eighth-season Sam, as he should be completely aware he can’t quit his hunter life and have a normal one as he hoped when he was younger. Also Dean is comprehensively mad at him, but it is as if Sam lived a kind of illusion he was too tired to let go. As always, both of them have a good point, but this time Dean seems to be more right, because they find out Crowley kidnapped Kevin, who asked for Sam’s help several times, so of course the brothers immediately start looking for him. Throughout the entire season Sam will keep on affirming that will be his last mission after which he will definitely quit hunting, even though deep inside I think he knows, as he knew for the whole year Dean was in purgatory, that’s the ultimate impossible illusion.

At this point we’re introduced to the main plot of the season: the Winchesters are willing to close the gates of hell and get rid of all demons once for all, but in order to know how to do that they have to find both the demon tablet and Kevin, the only one able to read it being a prophet, and making him translate it. When the Winchesters manage to do so, they try to keep him safe inside an abandoned ship surveilled by Garth, not the best idea if you ask me, as he’s proven himself a bit clumsy and naive, but I get that he’s the brothers’ best option being, without Castiel, their only friend and helper.

Speaking of the angel, as I said Dean is no help in understanding what’s happened to Cas, so we slowly learn it from flashbacks. At first he just appears on earth without knowing who saved him from purgatory, but he soon finds out that he was rescued by an angel called Naomi, a kind of a boss up in heaven whose aim is to use him. I’m really starting to hate angels more than demons (I never thought I would’ve said such a thing in my life), angels being so manipulative and subtle, while most of the time demons are simply mean as they’re supposed to. By the way, Naomi uses Cas without his consent to spy the Winchesters and to find the angel tablet. As a consequence, Cas begins to have weird behaviour and to take distances from the brothers, who have more and more doubts about him, especially when he kills Samandriel, an angel who has been tortured by Crowley to get information about the angel tablet (at this point all characters are looking for it in separate ways, the Winchesters, Crowley and Castiel/Naomi). The apotheosis of controlled-Cas is the moment when both the Winchesters and Cas find the angel tablet, which is also one of the highest moments of the season, as Cas manages to break free from heaven control. This is the second time he disobeys orders through an act of free will to follow what he thinks is the right side, which of course corresponds to what the brothers, or maybe just Dean, are doing: this time we feel all the heaven pressure Castiel has on his shoulder, and it makes it even more remarkable that he succeeded in escaping from such a powerful master as Naomi. Undoubtedly Dean’s intense speech about needing him and loving him played its part in Cas’ rebellion, and paradoxically disobeying to angels is one of the acts which contribute in making us think of him as the closest to an ideal angel. Having the angel tablet, Castiel just vanishes on his own in order to keep it safe from angels. As it was predictable, Naomi is so powerful she’s able to find him quite easily, demonstrating one more time that Cas’ idea of solving problems without the Winchesters’ help will never end up well (but apparently he’s too stubborn to realise that). So even when Castiel is alive and on earth, we’re not shown many TFW moments, as they often go separate ways and meet up only by chance or because one of them is in desperate need of help (some fans would say that if they were too close there would be too many undeniable Destiel scenes…).

We have to mention that Sam and Dean are finally able to find out where the angel tablet is thanks to Meg. As she’s in middle between good and evil she gets captured and tortured by Crowley and his demons, but at the end she makes her final choice deciding to help the Winchesters, just as Cas will do, breaking free from what they’re supposed to be and do, and that makes them honourably part of team free will. I honestly didn’t expect Meg to die, and above all I didn’t expect her to die fighting demons, her kind, to protect the brothers’ escape. I appreciated so much the deep evolution of her character, from an evil monster to a victim of evil, and I think one last act of love was a good way to conclude her life, even though of course I was sad with her death.

In this season the authors developed the character of Kevin much more, adding his mother to the storyline. They are a rare positive example of parental relationship in Supernatural: Kevin’s mum is a strong woman whose only purpose is to protect her son, a very difficult task considering how dangerous being a prophet is. I really liked her, also because I didn’t expect a secondary character to have this deep participation in the show. As it was clear from Kevin’s very first appearance, he embodies all the unfairness of supernatural world, as he’s just a victim of events, always in need of hiding from opposite forces who want to possess his power, living in the Sam-like illusion he can come back to his normal life when the Winchesters will manage to close the gates of hell. We are led to deeply sympathise with him and his fight against the evidence that his life will never be normal anymore, which is something all Supernatural good characters quite seem to have interiorised at this point.

Just a little mention to a character that’s becoming more stable, Charlie. She comes back in two episodes: one involves a role play, which fully demonstrates her nerd attitude, while the other one is more about her personal story. She’s now one of the few friends Sam and Dean can count on, both humanly and professionally, as she’s become a skilled hunter, and I hope we’ll see more of her going on with the show.

Before moving back to the main plot, I’m analysing once more the relationship between Sam and Amelia. As you remember, he left her only to follow his brother in his last mission, to close the gates of hell, after which he planned to go back to her and his family life. In addition, the situation is complicated by the fact that Amelia finds out her husband, who she believed was dead, is still alive, so she has to choose between the two men she’s in love with. After some time she decides to go back to Sam, but he’s not there waiting for her: I think he knows that she’ll have a good, maybe even better, life without him, while Dean would be completely destroyed by losing his brother, even though he often suggests him to go and live the normal life he’s always wanted from when he was a child. Of course they haven’t closed hell yet, so technically Sam comes back to Dean because the job is not accomplished, but as a matter of fact this is the confirm their brotherly love is stronger than anything else, and they have nothing else to count on except from each other, even if they sometimes seem to forget it. One example is in an episode about Benny, where he’s unjustly accused of having killed people and Sam wants to kill him despite Dean’s attempts to defend him. Benny’s one of the main problems between the Winchesters in this season and Dean does something really bad to save him, which is just partly excusable as Benny was truly innocent. He pretends Amelia is in danger and makes Sam go directly to her instead of hunting Benny. We already know that Dean isn’t able to be rational when he’s mad and desperate, but I think it was a real cheap shot on Sam, Amelia being his current weak point (and love), and Dean could’ve realised that with a little more empathy for his brother.

In the second part of the season a new storyline including a new member of the Winchester family is introduced. During a leap in the past we get to know Henry Winchester, John’s father, who’s part of a sort of secret congregation of educated hunters called Men of Letters. He’s catapulted, together with Abbadon, a very powerful demon, to the present day, where he meets his grandchildren: at first they’re shocked, but then they help him fighting Abbadon, one of the first demons created called knights of hell. They manage to momentarily stop her by cutting her in pieces, but Henry dies in that moment, leaving his son John alone in the past. The arrival of Henry clarifies to the brothers that their father wasn’t abandoned and that their granddad was a very good hunter, father and person, leaving to John the title of worst member of the family. Moreover, finding out all about Men of Letters, who were completely erased by Abbadon, leads them to the bunker, a marvellous and luxury house full of all the books and weapons a hunter could ask for. They will soon begin to call it their home, and I think it was high time they had a safe place where they could both work and relax, also because I, and surely Sam and Dean too, was sick of all those dirty and messy motel rooms.

As always, the most important turning points are in the last episodes, as Kevin is finally able to decipher the demon tablet: in order to close hell, Sam or Dean have to overcome three terrible trials. Of course they have to decide who will do that and, guess what, they fight about it because they both want to sacrifice and think the other brother has suffered more through the years. I have to admit it’s difficult to decide which one endured more pain, so their decision is Dean just because he imposes it to Sam: they can’t imagine destiny will choose for them, as the first trial, killing a hellhound and bathing in his blood, is accomplished by Sam partly by chance. So Sammy, as his second task, has to save a soul from hell and bring it to heaven: they choose Bobby, who was unfairly put in hell, but Sam and him remain stuck in purgatory due to Crowley’s intrusion. Despite that, this is a very positive moment, first of all because of the unexpected presence and salvation of Bobby, secondly because it allows a final conciliation between Sam and Benny (and as a consequence an improvement in Sam and Dean’s relationship), who goes to purgatory to bring back Dean’s family and in return stays there. It is as if in Supernatural nothing good can be obtained without sacrifice, but this time Benny was willing to remain in purgatory, as his life on earth wasn’t bearable anymore. He seems to be Meg’s double, a monster unable to change his physical condition but willing to redeem and help the good guys: we’ve learnt that staying in the middle is not tolerated, and everyone trying to change his written destiny is necessarily devoted to failure, in a quite pessimistic and deterministic view.

The final trial is curing a demon and making him human again. To do so, they choose their favourite demon, Crowley, and after having him captured Sam starts the cure the brothers’ have learnt from the Men of Letters, despite being abruptly stopped by Dean who’s found out that Sam will die if he completes the trials. I was quite disappointed they hadn’t thought of such a possibility: I mean, I know they didn’t want to die for it, but they have so much experience in the supernatural field that I found it naive of them not to think enough about consequences, also because some characters, Castiel first of all, had tried to warn them.

While the brothers face the trials and their final uselessness, Cass is plotting another closure with a new character, Metatron. He’s the angel who wrote the Word of God on the tablets and who’s been living far from heaven for centuries, but from when Sam and Dean find him, he becomes close with Castiel and together they plan, in parallel with the Winchesters, to close the gates of heaven, in order to erase all problems deriving from both demons and angels on earth. Castiel has to complete some trials, like Sam, as a last rebellion to the place he no longer identifies himself with. However, in the last episode, with a big plot twist, it becomes clear that Metatron’s intentions are mean and he just played Cass (by the way, it seems like he’s always too naive to do something right without Sam and Dean’s help…): he steals his grace, the last trial to definitely close heaven and make all angels fall to earth. At this moment the two parallel plots reunite, with a beautiful but terrifying vision of angels falling like bright stars from the Winchesters’ point of view, at the end of the attempt to Sam’s last trial. So this long and full-of-events season ends with demons and angels on earth, with the gates of hell open and those of heaven closed, good succumbing to evil’s success.

- Irene 💕

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Author Honesty Hour

I was tagged by @dragonchica! Thanks babe, I actually never thought I’d get this. You’re the best!! MUAH!!

1. Which is the imagine you’re most proud of?

The imagine that I’m most proud of is “Picking Flowers.” I had so much fun writing it and the flow was awesome and when I was done with it, I felt really good about it. And to my surprise, it’s become my most successful story! Thanks for reading it guys!!

2. Which is your least favorite? 

Possibly “Trick or Trick” because it’s not so popular and has the least likes and reblogs. 

3. If you were to recommend one to read to your mum/mom?

Umm, my mom and I aren’t very close so she wouldn’t even want to read anything. But if I had to choose, it would be... “Baby Girl,” why? I have no idea. 

4. Which one would you consider re-writing?

Trick or Trick because it’s not very successful. I even contemplated on deleting it but decided not to. I want to believe that it’s a sign of growth. Some stories people will love and others not so much. So I like to keep it there as a reminder that once upon a time, I sucked. haha.

5. Biggest regret in an imagine?

Umm... I don’t think I have one. It’s all a learning process.

6. Biggest success with an imagine?

I have to say all my Jack fics, because he is/was a new character and his “innocence” to the world gave a lot of room to play with. That’s why I feel “Picking Flowers” and “Evesdropping” are my most successful.

7. Your imagine with the most notes?

Picking Flowers.

8. Your imagine with the least notes?

I am pretty sure it’s Trick or Trick.

9. What do you think makes a good imagine? Tips?

Grammar and spelling are big ones for me. If the grammar is bad or if there are many spelling errors, it usually turns me off from reading a fic. Or if there is no real structure, where it’s just a giant block of writing. That’s a pet peeve of mine and I won’t even give it a chance. 

Advice I’d give would be to keep practicing. Read other fics and observe they way they structure their writing. Have someone beta your fics. I don’t use a beta for reasons unknown, but I know that they are extremely helpful.

10. When’s the next update on your works?

I’ve scheduled a fic to be posted real soon. I was a little worried about posting it but with positive support, I’ve decided to put it out there! I’m still scared, but I hope it does well and people are able to relate or try to understand where I’m coming from. 

11. Number of followers before you started writing and after?

Wow. Umm, I can’t even remember that far back. But I started this blog in September 2017, and now I’ve got 869 followers. And I am so grateful!! 

THE WRITER

1. Which character do you love writing for?

I’m a Dean girl, but I love writing for all of them however, I’m having trouble writing for Castiel. So his name is still “in progress,” but I do have a couple of fics in my participation for Kari and Ida’s 12 Days of Christmas challenge. Here is the masterlist.

2. Which character do you dislike writing for?

So I only write for any members of TFW 2.0. And I don’t dislike writing for any of them, but like I’ve mentioned in the previous question, I am struggling with Castiel.

3. What’s your favorite AU to write for?

As of right now, I don’t have any that I’m very fond of. I think I only have two AU’s and they’re both for Dean. There’s “Long Time Coming” part 1 and part 2, and “Because You’re an Idiot.”

4. What’s your least favorite AU to write for?

I can’t really say at this point. Don’t have much AU’s.

5. What do you hope never gets requested?

Well, I am currently not taking requests, nor am I planning to, but who knows what the future holds. But if I do, I never want to get anything that gives off any negativity. 

I don’t do wincest, destiel, or sabriel and other ships similar to those just because it’s not my thing (but if it’s your thing, then that’s cool too. We all like different things and I respect that). I LOVE a good bromance, but that’s all it’ll ever be. Only platonic. Plus, I don’t think I’d be very good at it anyways. 

Also, I only write reader inserts. I think it’s more personal for everyone and more enjoyable as well.

6. What do you wish was requested more?

Murr... I don’t take requests as of right now.

7. Thoughts on writing Smut/POC/Curvy/MxM/FxF?

I believe smut is a natural desire and there’s nothing wrong with that. POC, is awesome! Personally, I try to keep the reader as vague as possible.

Curvy? I have no problems with that.

Writing MxM and FxF, if people want to write about that then they are free to do so. I support it. I wouldn’t write or read it myself because it’s not really my preference, but maybe FxF I wouldn’t mind dabbling in. Maybe because I am a female so it would be a lot easier to write. I know more about a females body than a mans.

8. Which account is your biggest inspiration in writing?

OY!! There are so many and they are still growing. But the main accounts that I’ve read on my personal blog and pushed me to create this blog and start writing are, @kittenofdoomage, @atc74, @supernatural-jackles, @hannahindie, @kaz2y5-imagines, and @itsmkjones.

9. How long have you been an imagine writer for?

I’ve written some when I was in high school when I was into anime, then stopped because I (mostly) grew out of anime, then not long ago I wrote for bands, then I stopped because I became overly obsessed with supernatural and wanted to only wrote for spn. LOL.

10. Any upcoming secret works?

No? But I have this idea for a semi-AU series that I want to do, but I suck at writing series. Blehh... Boo me!! *throws myself into a trash bin.*

[zeetheus]

So, here’s a recap of the entire situation

From start to finish.

Because, believe me, I had no idea my ban would lead to 2 other completely innocent people getting banned for, essentially, asking staff what happened, and then expressing the desire to talk to them about it.

Not exaggerating.

On May 5th 2017, my Extremely Straight mom was being pushy, asking me about my OCs. For those unaware, the OCs in question are:

A nonwhite nonbinary aromantic bisexual with ASPD

A nonwhite asexual whose romantic orientation is a hashtag Mess, who has depression, anxiety, OCD, and is autistic

The above OCs are in a queerplatonic relationship

(This is important, I promise)

So after escaping to my laptop, I go on Quixol to try and decompress, and start off by expressing my general exhaustion and discomfort. A reasonable person who is part of the staff of a LGBT+ & ND safe server would, hopefully, take that as a disclaimer that I had been through Garbage, and had no energy.

So after having to literally physically escape an uncomfortable discussion with my mom, and after literally telling chat about the situation, I’m directly concern-trolled for calling my queerplatonic OCs, ‘queer’?

Once?

When there’s a perfectly serviceable blacklist on this very server?

(Minor note: I’m aware that Blake’s pronouns are it/its, however, I had typoed ‘pals’ into ‘pal’ & I apologize for that small misunderstanding)

So anyways, that sucked, and dealing with everything that happened that afternoon had destroyed my energy for a week. Clearly staff had made their stance clear, even if I didn’t agree with it.

I decided not to use ‘queer’ on that server, or at the very least not towards anyone who 1) wasn’t queer, and 2) might give me shit for even saying that word, even if I’m not mislabeling anyone. Such as, the staff.

So, I don’t use it.

Flash forward to late November of 2017.

I’m on my twitter, tweeting tweets, which are mostly meant for me, because it’s my gotdamn twitter account. I tweet a lot of junk, RT a lot of fandom garbage, and sometimes, when something triggers me, I try to unpack my abuse.

I’d like to make it clear right now that I never listed my twitter under my Bio (or at the very least, had never intended to. I don’t remember whether or not I put it there, and if I did, my mistake) and have only given my twitter url out once. The only connection my twitter had to Quixol was by following the Quixol twitter.

Over the course of a few weeks I tweeted out some ~*spicy*~ Opinions, which, you’re free to disagree with me about, especially since it’s fucking twitter, which has a character limit, so a lot of my word choice had to be downsized to fit in a fuckin 280 character text box.

On top of that I’m not even a Public LGBTQ+ Wank Persona, so I had no incentive to hash things out step-by-step to my... 10 followers. By all accounts, my tweets are, by their very nature, inconsequential to anyone except my followers.

(My account was not locked at the time, but I understandably later did so)

Anyways, in order:

This one was pretty clearly about Quixol, but I should probably state for the record that I had no idea ‘queer’ in MANY DIFFERENT ITERATIONS had been exhaustively banned from signs, so I had no idea it wasn’t physically possible to properly spell out ‘genderqueer’ without censoring it in some fashion.

Anyways, continuing with my ~*spicy opinions*~

I mentioned before how I was essentially abused by people I trusted for not being acceptably gay. I don’t know how ‘I’m not gay and I don’t need to be, I’m happy with being aro ace’ is a statement so vile that gay people everywhere take immense offense to it, to the point where staff finds it a bannable offense...

By the way, yes, I did get banned for these.

Because days after I was banned, staff approached Vin about my banning, of their own volition.

At the end of the day, Vin had planned to write out an essay, so that they could have a reasonable discussion with staff.

I wasn’t too Thrilled at the prospect of trying to have a discussion with people who intentionally villainized me, took my words out of context, and made the worst possible interpretations out of them, but I supported Vin’s idea.

However, she was in the middle of college finals, and preparing for chanukkah, so she couldn’t get right back around to it for another week.

Note that at this point Vin had not been contacted by staff due to her own behavior, past actions, without even a mention of her tumblr or its content.

THIS IS EXTREMELY CRUCIAL INFORMATION.

IF THEY HAD REASON TO BAN VIN FOR ANYTHING, WHY DID THEY CONTACT VIN ABOUT MY BAN FIRST?

But anyways, let’s cut to 8 days later, because I certainly couldn’t log into Quixol and subsequently do anything.

And in that time, neither could Vin.

I wasn’t surprised at this point. Staff had made it plain and clear to me that if they had a mild enough reason to ban you, they’ll find whatever evidence they need in order to finalize it.

FOUR POSTS, YALL. FOUR POSTS AND SHE GOES FROM ‘ONE OF THE MOST ACTIVE AND BELOVED COMMUNITY MEMBERS’ TO ‘A BONA FIDE THREAT TO PEOPLE ON QUIXOL, WORTH BANNING.’

The four posts in question will be linked later, for now, continuing:

So... it’s not actually about protecting people on the server, it’s about... finding people that agree with your particular flavor of “LGBT+” politics?

R...really?

Where is the actual harm that Vin has done on the server to warrant being banned?

Shit, what about me? What tangible, material harm did my tweets, squirreled away on my own separate twitter, that no one follows me on, do to anyone on the server?

Anyways it doesn’t end here, because in this chain of bullshit, someone else went down trying to ask staff “why for the love of god did you ban Vin?”

Screenshots (Warning, it’s 65 pages long)

All four posts that Vin was banned over are included as well.

But if you’re interested in my personal highlight reel:

ah yes, a non-ace trans woman trying to silence anyone who casts doubt on her decisions to silence queer ace people for having experienced abuse similar to hers, because that’s not some top-tier oppression olympics ‘my pain outweighs yours’ b.s.

remember that time staff literally approached vin of their own volition with screenshots of my tweets at the ready, trying to grill vin about my tweets and whether or not she agreed with them?

where’d that go?

did they suddenly get tired of it after being confronted with other, perfectly average Quixol users, suddenly also questioning their decisions against their will?

funny how vin got to have a discussion about her posts. wonder why they didn’t ever contact me except to ban me

so one of the posts was barely incriminating, but the staff decided to use it against her AS A PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST, and then decided to use it decisively against her after she didn’t give the reaction they wanted from her (again, they mention it as one of the 4 posts she was banned over)

THIS WOULD BE PERFECTLY REASONABLE IF THEY HADN’T BEEN LITERALLY SEARCHING THROUGH HER TUMBLR, DIGGING UP POSTS FROM UP TO TWO YEARS AGO

IT WOULD ALSO BE REASONABLE IF:

I HAD ACTUALLY PUT MY TWITTER URL IN MY BIO, WHICH I’M PRETTY SURE I DID NOT

I HADN’T BEEN BANNED NOT TWO WEEKS AGO FOR EXISTING ADJACENT TO QUIXOL, BARELY IF EVER MENTIONING IT ON TWITTER, NEVER LINKING IT FROM THE SERVER, WHO THE HELL WAS SEARCHING THROUGH MY TWITTER, AND WHY DIDN’T BEAN EVEN MENTION DEFENDING MY RIGHT TO HAVE A SEPARATE TWITTER THAT WAS NOT PUBLICLY LINKED TO QUIXOL!? WHAT!?!

glad to know the rest of the staff also goes full tilt on oppression olympics

still waiting on the part where vin actually said something transmisogynistic or otherwise materially harmful to someone on the server

oh no!! vivian just called a lesbian trans woman transmisogynistic!! clearly if this is the game staff wants to play that means they all needs to either agree to disagree, or realize that peoples’ experiences differ from theirs, and are not something to be weaponized in order to silence people that you disagree with!! what a world!!

tfw staff tokenize themselves before they even make the slightest movement towards ‘people have different experiences besides the ones i have/know about, but we are all here and we should work together and support each other’

are they even really a real LGBT+ server

very clear, very clear distinction here... somewhere? weren’t they just saying that they’re not the same things? so they overlap but are different? uh... and...???

i don’t have a word for ‘white trans women that try to weaponize the transmisogyny that overwhelmingly nonwhite twoc experience in order to silence anyone who questions her ~*authority*~ despite the fact that there is no universal ‘trans woman experience’ that anyone can hold her as an authority AS’...

this is literally the kind of weaponized-suffering authoritarianism people talk about when they deconstruct neoliberalism and ‘oppression olympics’ and the staff all seem to be very involved in it

gee whiz, im no longer wondering why i, a queer aro ace, was banned

bean weaponizing his aceness as the staff’s ‘authority’ on ace matters, instead of, yanno, understanding that vin has had her own experiences, that are different, which leads her to take different stances

especially since bean himself admits he hasn’t faced any problems due to his aceness

lucky him, i guess

“this is the first time we’ve had to really make a ban based on evidence that was off quixol”

fuck you in particular

my tweets weren’t for you or anyone else on Quixol

you and the rest of the staff decided to ban me anyways

and now that you snatched vin in your chain-ban and you have a lot of people who are QUESTIONING YOUR DECISIONS you try and act sympathetic?

if people are reacting like this, and the evidence wasn’t even on the server, why even ban someone?

if you intend to heavily police Quixol users you should maybe fucking say so

that way no one’s suprised

i have intense paranoia issues and the entire fact that YALL WERE STALKING MY TWITTER hasn’t helped in the least

literally here are tweets i made in the same timeframe as my ~*banned tweets*~

like you claim to be protecting users, despite the fact that no one on the server was harmed

and you claim to be inclusive, despite the fact that you silence queer people at every turn

and you claim to be safe for ND people, while causing them anxiety and paranoia

literally what do you even stand for at this point

"we are all trans? we are all gay?”

yeah? and?

you still closet the hell out of queer people?

especially queer people with identities you don’t like?

queer people who literally use the word to describe their OCs in plural since they are neither gay nor trans?

you literally wouldn’t let me use the word ‘queer’ to describe my OCs?

hhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh no!!! queer people exist online

seriously is this an LGBT+ server or some kind of fundie christian camp

also, get a load of all of the 0 times vin and i have called anyone queer without their consent, seeing as the first and only time I used it, i got scolded by staff for it

funny story. as soon as I read this screen i knew why I was actually, really banned

way back up at the top of this post, when i had confronted Blake about the fact that I had just called my OCs ‘queer’

and was told ‘be careful, don’t use that word on people who don’t want it applied to them’

i had already been mislabeled as ‘gay’ numerous times on the server itself, which was triggering for me

after bringing up that particular grievance with staff, using almost the exact same wording as Fritjof, i decided to blacklist ‘gay’ so that i wouldn’t guilt gay people into hiding it from others, while protecting myself

very interesting that the staff doesn’t have the same attitude towards people being able to protect themselves from ‘queer’

it’s almost like the censoring of queer is not for the sake of protecting users... but instead...

Just so we make this clear, ‘queer’ which staff defines as being ‘gay and trans’ (but not queer itself for some reason?) is equivalent to:

triggering thing that must be blacklisted (that’s why the blacklist exists)

nsfw chats in global

literally how do yall say ‘queer means gay and trans’ and equate its use with ‘nsfw’

again... is this an LGBT+ server... or a conservative christian summer camp...

it feels almost... indistinguishable...

yes, that is the admin of an ND & LGBT+ server using the same ‘real world’ rhetoric that anti sj bigots and conservatives make

interestingly enough, it’s also common among bigots in the LGBT community, such as truscum, aphobes, and queerphobes, towards anyone with a ‘special snowflake’ identity that they don’t particularly like or are interested in including

but an ace man can never be acephobic right? he’s an authority on ace issues after all, and so all aces must have his same experiences

/s

pedophilia?? gee whiz i wonder what that post Vin reblogged about ‘people accusing others of pedophilia that weren’t actually pedophilia’ was about. surely it wasn’t about staff, right?

so, recap of bannable offenses here on Quixol Dot Corn:

Have a public twitter, where you tweet opinions that staff disagrees with

Be friends with the above person who was banned, and when you don’t say anything banworthy when they confront you, have a tumblr account with enough questionable posts for them to construct a banworthy offense

Once both of the above have been banned, ask staff about their decisions, and then try to reasonably discuss their ongoing queerphobia

So anyways, if you’re wondering where Zeetheus, Vin_Venture, and Fritjof42 went... that’s pretty much what happened!

Staff has zero intent on protecting their userbase, just policing the hell out of their opinions, to the point where off-Quixol content is considered a bannable offense, and if staff hasn’t made that clear to anyone, I hope this post does.

Queer people are not safe on Quixol

Unacceptably ace people are not safe on Quixol

The vast majority of people under the LGBT+ umbrella that don’t fit under ‘gay and trans’ are not safe on Quixol

People with anxiety, who have experienced stalking paranoia are not safe on Quixol

[marie85marketing]

How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf

Your job as a writer is to make your subjects clear and interesting.

Assuming you aren’t working on the next Waiting for Godot, you’ll work to make sure your meaning is clear and easy to grasp.

And assuming you aren’t editing Wikipedia, you’ll work to make it lively and fresh.

But sometimes, well-meaning attempts to give your writing life end up producing writing that’s silly, trivial, cluttered, or condescending.

Lively writing is wonderful. Paragraph after paragraph of neon-rainbow unicorn vomit (with glitter) is less wonderful.

Even if you like sparkle (I do), you just need a little. Too much glitter always looks cheap.

So let’s look at how to make your writing colorful and interesting … without making your audience sick to their stomachs.

The most important thing

Before we start, I want to be completely clear:

I don’t get to dictate what works for your audience.

I can show you some common pitfalls, but if your audience adores something I don’t like — their vote is the one that counts.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at some of the contributors to unicorn vomit.

A warm and personal voice is good

Nearly any content (including B2B) benefits from a warm, individual voice.

If you think about your professional life, you know that it’s possible to be absolutely professional and still be warm and likable. That’s the tone you’re after. No matter what kind of content you create, your audience is made of individual human beings.

I like to think about having a coffee (or a glass of wine) with a friend and offering my explanation of the topic I’m writing about. I’ll include conversational asides as they make sense … but I’ll often go back and delete about half of them.

Kindergarten cheerfulness is not so good

Things get ugly when we cross the line into Dora the Explorer territory.

Forced, candy-colored cheerfulness will make your content look repetitive, lightweight, and grating. Please remember that your audience is made of adults.

If you’re a member of Team Relentless Cheer, you might benefit from the following:

Stick to one exclamation point per article. Zero would also be fine.

A few conversational asides in your article are fine, but if you love them, follow my lead and cut at least half.

Avoid at all costs the terms Buddy, Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Positivity is great, but reality is even better. Write about problems, too.

Don’t tell me it’s “awesome,” “epic,” or “amazeballs.” Show me why.

Probably you and I should both pare down our attachment to emojis

Our gentleman content creators sometimes suffer from a variant of this: Gary Vee syndrome.

If your content is an endless stream of ALL CAPS, exclamation points, bossy but earnest pronouncements, and addressing your audience as My Friends, please remember that there is one Gary Vee. And it is not you.

Web clichés that should die in a fire

We already talked about Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Let’s add the tossed alphabet salad of BTW, TFW, TBH, AFAIK, and WTF.

We’re all citizens of this world wide web. It’s part of our identity, particularly for content creators. And our tribe has a distinct language. A language made up by people too lazy to spell things.

One or two make your content feel conversational. Too many and my eyelids start to flutter from TL;DR.

(By the way, if you’re not sure what some of these mean … LMGTFY.)

Richness and color are good

So much content looks like it’s actively trying to win a World’s Dullest Website competition.

There are plenty of facts out there, even if we leave out the “alternative” kind. There’s no shortage of sites for basic instructions, stripped-down numbers, and raw information. We’re all a few seconds away from knowing how long the gestation period of the American Crocodile is.

You can’t compete with Wikipedia and you shouldn’t try. Focus on where you can compete — with an original human voice, using the power of your point of view.

Don’t just tell us what the numbers are … tell us why they matter.

Don’t just analyze … make it vivid.

Use texture, storytelling, slang, analogy, metaphor, nuance, and connotation to sculpt a three-dimensional understanding of your topic.

Sensory language helps create vivid impressions. Think about smells, tastes, and colors.

“Loaded” language carries firepower. Calling something pallid or bleached carries a different connotation than the generic light-colored.

Make sure your nouns and verbs are working hard. Sensory, specific, and concrete language gives writing flavor.

Don’t say The deliciously-scented intricate purple flower. Say The lilac.

Goop is not so good

If you’d like to improve your writing and spend a delightful half-hour at the same time, I encourage you to take a look at the winners of the 2016 Bulwer-Lytton contest. I present just one particularly appealing example:

“After his seventh shot of Jack Daniels, Billy reflected that only a certain kind of man, a Roman Catholic priest, born under the sign of Gemini, whose loved one had been run down by a bus full of inebriated Lazio supporters on a glorious Sunday morning in early April outside a provincial church whose bells were ringing Bach’s Tocatta and Fugue in B minor, would be able to truly understand the abyss of despair in which he was drowning.” – Neil T. Godden, Nouméa, New Caledonia

Trying to make your writing vivid by pouring on a thick layer of verbal goop will only make it indigestible.

Make sure all of your adjectives and adverbs need to be there. You don’t have to declare war on them, but you should give each one a good stink-eye to make sure it’s pulling its weight.

Fancy Nancy word choice

Do you always have a penchant for doing things, instead of just liking them?

Do you think canapés taste better than snacks and prefer traveling in a vehicle to a car?

You may be suffering from Fancy Nancyism.

Just like glitter — a little can add sparkle. I love unusual and interesting words, too. But too many and you start to look silly.

When writing in English, keep most of your word choices to the plain, straightforward Anglo-Saxon.

House is better than residence.

Smell is better than odor. When appropriate, stink is even better.

Eat is better than partake.

One advantage is that when you do choose a word that’s a bit … luminous, it will stand out.

Vulnerability is good …

Perfect people are boring. And annoying. Most of us are a little fed up with the glossy, the over-curated, and the Instagram-perfect.

If you want to make a connection with an audience, go ahead and talk about problems. If you have insecurities, open up about them. (If you don’t have any insecurities, maybe you should.)

No one becomes an authority without stepping in some stinky stuff. Talk about that. Get real about the whole path that led you to where you are, not just the prettiest views along the way.

Train wrecks are not so good

When do we cross the line from vulnerable leader to oversharing whack job?

I’d argue it’s when you cease to come across as someone your audience can rely on.

Are you a freelancer who goes on and on about how you can’t meet your deadlines? Get a Freedom account, block your access to Facebook, and fix the problem. Clients don’t need another flaky freelancer.

Are you a therapist who flies off the handle over trivia and seems to lurch from one disaster to another? That’s work to save for your therapist. Your clients need to know you can help them with their problems.

It’s a bit like parenting. It’s good to let our kids know that we made mistakes, too … but if they start feeling like they need to parent us, we need to remember which one is the adult.

Your audience isn’t your support group. You’re there to help them, not the other way around.

Of course, seek out a real support group for the tough days. Everyone goes through tough times. Share your troubles with the right people.

How about you?

What are your favorite ways to bring some color into your writing?

Got a little Fancy Nancy or Dora the Explorer going on in your content? You’re among friends here — let us know in the comments.

The post How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf appeared first on Copyblogger.

[hypertagmaster]

How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf

Your job as a writer is to make your subjects clear and interesting.

Assuming you aren’t working on the next Waiting for Godot, you’ll work to make sure your meaning is clear and easy to grasp.

And assuming you aren’t editing Wikipedia, you’ll work to make it lively and fresh.

But sometimes, well-meaning attempts to give your writing life end up producing writing that’s silly, trivial, cluttered, or condescending.

Lively writing is wonderful. Paragraph after paragraph of neon-rainbow unicorn vomit (with glitter) is less wonderful.

Even if you like sparkle (I do), you just need a little. Too much glitter always looks cheap.

So let’s look at how to make your writing colorful and interesting … without making your audience sick to their stomachs.

The most important thing

Before we start, I want to be completely clear:

I don’t get to dictate what works for your audience.

I can show you some common pitfalls, but if your audience adores something I don’t like — their vote is the one that counts.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at some of the contributors to unicorn vomit.

A warm and personal voice is good

Nearly any content (including B2B) benefits from a warm, individual voice.

If you think about your professional life, you know that it’s possible to be absolutely professional and still be warm and likable. That’s the tone you’re after. No matter what kind of content you create, your audience is made of individual human beings.

I like to think about having a coffee (or a glass of wine) with a friend and offering my explanation of the topic I’m writing about. I’ll include conversational asides as they make sense … but I’ll often go back and delete about half of them.

Kindergarten cheerfulness is not so good

Things get ugly when we cross the line into Dora the Explorer territory.

Forced, candy-colored cheerfulness will make your content look repetitive, lightweight, and grating. Please remember that your audience is made of adults.

If you’re a member of Team Relentless Cheer, you might benefit from the following:

Stick to one exclamation point per article. Zero would also be fine.

A few conversational asides in your article are fine, but if you love them, follow my lead and cut at least half.

Avoid at all costs the terms Buddy, Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Positivity is great, but reality is even better. Write about problems, too.

Don’t tell me it’s “awesome,” “epic,” or “amazeballs.” Show me why.

Probably you and I should both pare down our attachment to emojis

Our gentleman content creators sometimes suffer from a variant of this: Gary Vee syndrome.

If your content is an endless stream of ALL CAPS, exclamation points, bossy but earnest pronouncements, and addressing your audience as My Friends, please remember that there is one Gary Vee. And it is not you.

Web clichés that should die in a fire

We already talked about Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Let’s add the tossed alphabet salad of BTW, TFW, TBH, AFAIK, and WTF.

We’re all citizens of this world wide web. It’s part of our identity, particularly for content creators. And our tribe has a distinct language. A language made up by people too lazy to spell things.

One or two make your content feel conversational. Too many and my eyelids start to flutter from TL;DR.

(By the way, if you’re not sure what some of these mean … LMGTFY.)

Richness and color are good

So much content looks like it’s actively trying to win a World’s Dullest Website competition.

There are plenty of facts out there, even if we leave out the “alternative” kind. There’s no shortage of sites for basic instructions, stripped-down numbers, and raw information. We’re all a few seconds away from knowing how long the gestation period of the American Crocodile is.

You can’t compete with Wikipedia and you shouldn’t try. Focus on where you can compete — with an original human voice, using the power of your point of view.

Don’t just tell us what the numbers are … tell us why they matter.

Don’t just analyze … make it vivid.

Use texture, storytelling, slang, analogy, metaphor, nuance, and connotation to sculpt a three-dimensional understanding of your topic.

Sensory language helps create vivid impressions. Think about smells, tastes, and colors.

“Loaded” language carries firepower. Calling something pallid or bleached carries a different connotation than the generic light-colored.

Make sure your nouns and verbs are working hard. Sensory, specific, and concrete language gives writing flavor.

Don’t say The deliciously-scented intricate purple flower. Say The lilac.

Goop is not so good

If you’d like to improve your writing and spend a delightful half-hour at the same time, I encourage you to take a look at the winners of the 2016 Bulwer-Lytton contest. I present just one particularly appealing example:

“After his seventh shot of Jack Daniels, Billy reflected that only a certain kind of man, a Roman Catholic priest, born under the sign of Gemini, whose loved one had been run down by a bus full of inebriated Lazio supporters on a glorious Sunday morning in early April outside a provincial church whose bells were ringing Bach’s Tocatta and Fugue in B minor, would be able to truly understand the abyss of despair in which he was drowning.” – Neil T. Godden, Nouméa, New Caledonia

Trying to make your writing vivid by pouring on a thick layer of verbal goop will only make it indigestible.

Make sure all of your adjectives and adverbs need to be there. You don’t have to declare war on them, but you should give each one a good stink-eye to make sure it’s pulling its weight.

Fancy Nancy word choice

Do you always have a penchant for doing things, instead of just liking them?

Do you think canapés taste better than snacks and prefer traveling in a vehicle to a car?

You may be suffering from Fancy Nancyism.

Just like glitter — a little can add sparkle. I love unusual and interesting words, too. But too many and you start to look silly.

When writing in English, keep most of your word choices to the plain, straightforward Anglo-Saxon.

House is better than residence.

Smell is better than odor. When appropriate, stink is even better.

Eat is better than partake.

One advantage is that when you do choose a word that’s a bit … luminous, it will stand out.

Vulnerability is good …

Perfect people are boring. And annoying. Most of us are a little fed up with the glossy, the over-curated, and the Instagram-perfect.

If you want to make a connection with an audience, go ahead and talk about problems. If you have insecurities, open up about them. (If you don’t have any insecurities, maybe you should.)

No one becomes an authority without stepping in some stinky stuff. Talk about that. Get real about the whole path that led you to where you are, not just the prettiest views along the way.

Train wrecks are not so good

When do we cross the line from vulnerable leader to oversharing whack job?

I’d argue it’s when you cease to come across as someone your audience can rely on.

Are you a freelancer who goes on and on about how you can’t meet your deadlines? Get a Freedom account, block your access to Facebook, and fix the problem. Clients don’t need another flaky freelancer.

Are you a therapist who flies off the handle over trivia and seems to lurch from one disaster to another? That’s work to save for your therapist. Your clients need to know you can help them with their problems.

It’s a bit like parenting. It’s good to let our kids know that we made mistakes, too … but if they start feeling like they need to parent us, we need to remember which one is the adult.

Your audience isn’t your support group. You’re there to help them, not the other way around.

Of course, seek out a real support group for the tough days. Everyone goes through tough times. Share your troubles with the right people.

How about you?

What are your favorite ways to bring some color into your writing?

Got a little Fancy Nancy or Dora the Explorer going on in your content? You’re among friends here — let us know in the comments.

The post How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf appeared first on Copyblogger.

via marketing http://ift.tt/2rh0Via

[nathandgibsca]

How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf

Your job as a writer is to make your subjects clear and interesting.

Assuming you aren’t working on the next Waiting for Godot, you’ll work to make sure your meaning is clear and easy to grasp.

And assuming you aren’t editing Wikipedia, you’ll work to make it lively and fresh.

But sometimes, well-meaning attempts to give your writing life end up producing writing that’s silly, trivial, cluttered, or condescending.

Lively writing is wonderful. Paragraph after paragraph of neon-rainbow unicorn vomit (with glitter) is less wonderful.

Even if you like sparkle (I do), you just need a little. Too much glitter always looks cheap.

So let’s look at how to make your writing colorful and interesting … without making your audience sick to their stomachs.

The most important thing

Before we start, I want to be completely clear:

I don’t get to dictate what works for your audience.

I can show you some common pitfalls, but if your audience adores something I don’t like — their vote is the one that counts.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at some of the contributors to unicorn vomit.

A warm and personal voice is good

Nearly any content (including B2B) benefits from a warm, individual voice.

If you think about your professional life, you know that it’s possible to be absolutely professional and still be warm and likable. That’s the tone you’re after. No matter what kind of content you create, your audience is made of individual human beings.

I like to think about having a coffee (or a glass of wine) with a friend and offering my explanation of the topic I’m writing about. I’ll include conversational asides as they make sense … but I’ll often go back and delete about half of them.

Kindergarten cheerfulness is not so good

Things get ugly when we cross the line into Dora the Explorer territory.

Forced, candy-colored cheerfulness will make your content look repetitive, lightweight, and grating. Please remember that your audience is made of adults.

If you’re a member of Team Relentless Cheer, you might benefit from the following:

Stick to one exclamation point per article. Zero would also be fine.

A few conversational asides in your article are fine, but if you love them, follow my lead and cut at least half.

Avoid at all costs the terms Buddy, Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Positivity is great, but reality is even better. Write about problems, too.

Don’t tell me it’s “awesome,” “epic,” or “amazeballs.” Show me why.

Probably you and I should both pare down our attachment to emojis

Our gentleman content creators sometimes suffer from a variant of this: Gary Vee syndrome.

If your content is an endless stream of ALL CAPS, exclamation points, bossy but earnest pronouncements, and addressing your audience as My Friends, please remember that there is one Gary Vee. And it is not you.

Web clichés that should die in a fire

We already talked about Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Let’s add the tossed alphabet salad of BTW, TFW, TBH, AFAIK, and WTF.

We’re all citizens of this world wide web. It’s part of our identity, particularly for content creators. And our tribe has a distinct language. A language made up by people too lazy to spell things.

One or two make your content feel conversational. Too many and my eyelids start to flutter from TL;DR.

(By the way, if you’re not sure what some of these mean … LMGTFY.)

Richness and color are good

So much content looks like it’s actively trying to win a World’s Dullest Website competition.

There are plenty of facts out there, even if we leave out the “alternative” kind. There’s no shortage of sites for basic instructions, stripped-down numbers, and raw information. We’re all a few seconds away from knowing how long the gestation period of the American Crocodile is.

You can’t compete with Wikipedia and you shouldn’t try. Focus on where you can compete — with an original human voice, using the power of your point of view.

Don’t just tell us what the numbers are … tell us why they matter.

Don’t just analyze … make it vivid.

Use texture, storytelling, slang, analogy, metaphor, nuance, and connotation to sculpt a three-dimensional understanding of your topic.

Sensory language helps create vivid impressions. Think about smells, tastes, and colors.

“Loaded” language carries firepower. Calling something pallid or bleached carries a different connotation than the generic light-colored.

Make sure your nouns and verbs are working hard. Sensory, specific, and concrete language gives writing flavor.

Don’t say The deliciously-scented intricate purple flower. Say The lilac.

Goop is not so good

If you’d like to improve your writing and spend a delightful half-hour at the same time, I encourage you to take a look at the winners of the 2016 Bulwer-Lytton contest. I present just one particularly appealing example:

“After his seventh shot of Jack Daniels, Billy reflected that only a certain kind of man, a Roman Catholic priest, born under the sign of Gemini, whose loved one had been run down by a bus full of inebriated Lazio supporters on a glorious Sunday morning in early April outside a provincial church whose bells were ringing Bach’s Tocatta and Fugue in B minor, would be able to truly understand the abyss of despair in which he was drowning.” – Neil T. Godden, Nouméa, New Caledonia

Trying to make your writing vivid by pouring on a thick layer of verbal goop will only make it indigestible.

Make sure all of your adjectives and adverbs need to be there. You don’t have to declare war on them, but you should give each one a good stink-eye to make sure it’s pulling its weight.

Fancy Nancy word choice

Do you always have a penchant for doing things, instead of just liking them?

Do you think canapés taste better than snacks and prefer traveling in a vehicle to a car?

You may be suffering from Fancy Nancyism.

Just like glitter — a little can add sparkle. I love unusual and interesting words, too. But too many and you start to look silly.

When writing in English, keep most of your word choices to the plain, straightforward Anglo-Saxon.

House is better than residence.

Smell is better than odor. When appropriate, stink is even better.

Eat is better than partake.

One advantage is that when you do choose a word that’s a bit … luminous, it will stand out.

Vulnerability is good …

Perfect people are boring. And annoying. Most of us are a little fed up with the glossy, the over-curated, and the Instagram-perfect.

If you want to make a connection with an audience, go ahead and talk about problems. If you have insecurities, open up about them. (If you don’t have any insecurities, maybe you should.)

No one becomes an authority without stepping in some stinky stuff. Talk about that. Get real about the whole path that led you to where you are, not just the prettiest views along the way.

Train wrecks are not so good

When do we cross the line from vulnerable leader to oversharing whack job?

I’d argue it’s when you cease to come across as someone your audience can rely on.

Are you a freelancer who goes on and on about how you can’t meet your deadlines? Get a Freedom account, block your access to Facebook, and fix the problem. Clients don’t need another flaky freelancer.

Are you a therapist who flies off the handle over trivia and seems to lurch from one disaster to another? That’s work to save for your therapist. Your clients need to know you can help them with their problems.

It’s a bit like parenting. It’s good to let our kids know that we made mistakes, too … but if they start feeling like they need to parent us, we need to remember which one is the adult.

Your audience isn’t your support group. You’re there to help them, not the other way around.

Of course, seek out a real support group for the tough days. Everyone goes through tough times. Share your troubles with the right people.

How about you?

What are your favorite ways to bring some color into your writing?

Got a little Fancy Nancy or Dora the Explorer going on in your content? You’re among friends here — let us know in the comments.

The post How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf appeared first on Copyblogger.

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[soph28collins]

How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf

Your job as a writer is to make your subjects clear and interesting.

Assuming you aren’t working on the next Waiting for Godot, you’ll work to make sure your meaning is clear and easy to grasp.

And assuming you aren’t editing Wikipedia, you’ll work to make it lively and fresh.

But sometimes, well-meaning attempts to give your writing life end up producing writing that’s silly, trivial, cluttered, or condescending.

Lively writing is wonderful. Paragraph after paragraph of neon-rainbow unicorn vomit (with glitter) is less wonderful.

Even if you like sparkle (I do), you just need a little. Too much glitter always looks cheap.

So let’s look at how to make your writing colorful and interesting … without making your audience sick to their stomachs.

The most important thing

Before we start, I want to be completely clear:

I don’t get to dictate what works for your audience.

I can show you some common pitfalls, but if your audience adores something I don’t like — their vote is the one that counts.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at some of the contributors to unicorn vomit.

A warm and personal voice is good

Nearly any content (including B2B) benefits from a warm, individual voice.

If you think about your professional life, you know that it’s possible to be absolutely professional and still be warm and likable. That’s the tone you’re after. No matter what kind of content you create, your audience is made of individual human beings.

I like to think about having a coffee (or a glass of wine) with a friend and offering my explanation of the topic I’m writing about. I’ll include conversational asides as they make sense … but I’ll often go back and delete about half of them.

Kindergarten cheerfulness is not so good

Things get ugly when we cross the line into Dora the Explorer territory.

Forced, candy-colored cheerfulness will make your content look repetitive, lightweight, and grating. Please remember that your audience is made of adults.

If you’re a member of Team Relentless Cheer, you might benefit from the following:

Stick to one exclamation point per article. Zero would also be fine.

A few conversational asides in your article are fine, but if you love them, follow my lead and cut at least half.

Avoid at all costs the terms Buddy, Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Positivity is great, but reality is even better. Write about problems, too.

Don’t tell me it’s “awesome,” “epic,” or “amazeballs.” Show me why.

Probably you and I should both pare down our attachment to emojis

Our gentleman content creators sometimes suffer from a variant of this: Gary Vee syndrome.

If your content is an endless stream of ALL CAPS, exclamation points, bossy but earnest pronouncements, and addressing your audience as My Friends, please remember that there is one Gary Vee. And it is not you.

Web clichés that should die in a fire

We already talked about Ninja, Rockstar, and BFF.

Let’s add the tossed alphabet salad of BTW, TFW, TBH, AFAIK, and WTF.

We’re all citizens of this world wide web. It’s part of our identity, particularly for content creators. And our tribe has a distinct language. A language made up by people too lazy to spell things.

One or two make your content feel conversational. Too many and my eyelids start to flutter from TL;DR.

(By the way, if you’re not sure what some of these mean … LMGTFY.)

Richness and color are good

So much content looks like it’s actively trying to win a World’s Dullest Website competition.

There are plenty of facts out there, even if we leave out the “alternative” kind. There’s no shortage of sites for basic instructions, stripped-down numbers, and raw information. We’re all a few seconds away from knowing how long the gestation period of the American Crocodile is.

You can’t compete with Wikipedia and you shouldn’t try. Focus on where you can compete — with an original human voice, using the power of your point of view.

Don’t just tell us what the numbers are … tell us why they matter.

Don’t just analyze … make it vivid.

Use texture, storytelling, slang, analogy, metaphor, nuance, and connotation to sculpt a three-dimensional understanding of your topic.

Sensory language helps create vivid impressions. Think about smells, tastes, and colors.

“Loaded” language carries firepower. Calling something pallid or bleached carries a different connotation than the generic light-colored.

Make sure your nouns and verbs are working hard. Sensory, specific, and concrete language gives writing flavor.

Don’t say The deliciously-scented intricate purple flower. Say The lilac.

Goop is not so good

If you’d like to improve your writing and spend a delightful half-hour at the same time, I encourage you to take a look at the winners of the 2016 Bulwer-Lytton contest. I present just one particularly appealing example:

“After his seventh shot of Jack Daniels, Billy reflected that only a certain kind of man, a Roman Catholic priest, born under the sign of Gemini, whose loved one had been run down by a bus full of inebriated Lazio supporters on a glorious Sunday morning in early April outside a provincial church whose bells were ringing Bach’s Tocatta and Fugue in B minor, would be able to truly understand the abyss of despair in which he was drowning.” – Neil T. Godden, Nouméa, New Caledonia

Trying to make your writing vivid by pouring on a thick layer of verbal goop will only make it indigestible.

Make sure all of your adjectives and adverbs need to be there. You don’t have to declare war on them, but you should give each one a good stink-eye to make sure it’s pulling its weight.

Fancy Nancy word choice

Do you always have a penchant for doing things, instead of just liking them?

Do you think canapés taste better than snacks and prefer traveling in a vehicle to a car?

You may be suffering from Fancy Nancyism.

Just like glitter — a little can add sparkle. I love unusual and interesting words, too. But too many and you start to look silly.

When writing in English, keep most of your word choices to the plain, straightforward Anglo-Saxon.

House is better than residence.

Smell is better than odor. When appropriate, stink is even better.

Eat is better than partake.

One advantage is that when you do choose a word that’s a bit … luminous, it will stand out.

Vulnerability is good …

Perfect people are boring. And annoying. Most of us are a little fed up with the glossy, the over-curated, and the Instagram-perfect.

If you want to make a connection with an audience, go ahead and talk about problems. If you have insecurities, open up about them. (If you don’t have any insecurities, maybe you should.)

No one becomes an authority without stepping in some stinky stuff. Talk about that. Get real about the whole path that led you to where you are, not just the prettiest views along the way.

Train wrecks are not so good

When do we cross the line from vulnerable leader to oversharing whack job?

I’d argue it’s when you cease to come across as someone your audience can rely on.

Are you a freelancer who goes on and on about how you can’t meet your deadlines? Get a Freedom account, block your access to Facebook, and fix the problem. Clients don’t need another flaky freelancer.

Are you a therapist who flies off the handle over trivia and seems to lurch from one disaster to another? That’s work to save for your therapist. Your clients need to know you can help them with their problems.

It’s a bit like parenting. It’s good to let our kids know that we made mistakes, too … but if they start feeling like they need to parent us, we need to remember which one is the adult.

Your audience isn’t your support group. You’re there to help them, not the other way around.

Of course, seek out a real support group for the tough days. Everyone goes through tough times. Share your troubles with the right people.

How about you?

What are your favorite ways to bring some color into your writing?

Got a little Fancy Nancy or Dora the Explorer going on in your content? You’re among friends here — let us know in the comments.

The post How to Add Color and Richness to Your Writing … Without Making Us Want to Barf appeared first on Copyblogger.

from Copyblogger http://www.copyblogger.com/colorful-writing/