#text messages (maeve)

[privcharlie]

Maeve Flynn-Abrams - tag drop

[lukesaprince]

Rich Part 23

Summary: Harry and y/n deal with the aftermath of y/n's panic attack and do some retail therapy to prepare for their trip.

Warning: Smut, public bj & masturbation, exhibitionism, daddy!kink. Mention of panic attacks, Ethan and illegal dealings.

Word count: 10k+

Author's note: This chapter isn't as long as I hoped it would be and I wasn't able to get a lot of the Pleasing scene complete. I haven't been in a good writing space recently and I really want to make sure it's all planned out properly but I wanted to post something in the mean time for you! Enjoyy

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Harry’s stomach was in knots. It had been twisted since the moment he let you walk away from him at his office. His head was in a constant state of nausea and the very thought of you being so far from him had his body aching. Your trip was coming up so quickly, two weeks exactly now and things had taken such a sudden switch he was dizzy. 

He hadn’t seen you for a couple of days, or spoken to you properly either. For anyone else that would be normal. Seeing your partner every day wasn’t a prerequisite to having a happy relationship, but to Harry it was torture. Other than your text message when you got home Wednesday, you hadn’t spoken to him. He sent his usual good morning text Thursday morning and was only met with silence. He worked through his lunch that day so he couldn’t call you like usual, but if that ever happened he expected you to call him first. You never did. 

He tried to call you that night, then again Friday morning but you ignored him both times. He was starting to panic, starting to fear that you were seriously not okay or that he had done something to fuck everything up even if he didn’t realise it. He knew you two could communicate if that was the case, that your relationship was strong enough for you to speak to him if he did something wrong. After everything you two had been through, your foundation was strong. At least Harry believed so. 

But knowing it could be the former option and you could be at home in an unstable mental state was far worse than the possibility of him doing something that warranted you ignoring him. Harry didn’t want to push you, but he also couldn’t handle the unknown. 

He was meant to spend Saturday with you. You were going to meet him in the city to get as much shopping done for your trip as possible then he would spend the night. It was your last free day before locking down for studying and Harry wanted to make it something stress-free and enjoyable to give you a mental break. You only had a couple of free days after your exams before you both flew out so there wasn’t a lot of time to get the key essentials once your semester was over. Mostly you just wanted new clothes and wanted to pick things out for Harry as well. He was happy to oblige. 

But now… he didn’t even know if you two were okay. 

So he decided that he needed to see you. You could turn him away and tell him that you needed space or hated him or preferably that you loved him. Whatever you wanted. Harry didn’t care what you said, as long as he found you alive and okay. 

Early Saturday morning Harry was driving to your place with a bouquet of fresh lilies, a large oat latte and a croissant from your favourite local bakery. He didn’t have your keycard anymore so he couldn’t let himself in… but Harry was creative. It felt a bit reckless and immature actually, calling your best friend to let him in like it was some plot for forgiveness, especially when he was just checking up on you. But Harry didn’t want to risk you coming downstairs and turning away without seeing him or worse, just plain ignoring him.

“Hey, Harry.” Maeve greeted, smiling at the man as she held open the entrance door for him. It was especially cold outside now, so he was quick to rush inside and let the door close before he hugged her quickly as a hello. 

“Hey, Maeve. Thanks for doing this.” 

“It’s fine. You’re lucky I like you.” She teased, bumping his shoulder while they walked towards the elevator. 

Harry was fortunate enough to spend more time with your friends. As were you to spend more time with Niall and Jed. Since Harry was mostly spending time at your place, he had spent time with Maeve and Jay, even Dakari. Usually, it was just your neighbour and coworker, but there was a double date situation where Harry became aware of the ‘older guy’ Maeve was dating. 

Dakari and Harry knew each other through golf and Pleasing. They weren’t exceptionally close, but they got on well enough to treat their beautiful girlfriends to an expensive dinner in the city. Dakari was actually interested in investing in Pleasing, but Harry didn’t particularly like the way he conducted business and would’ve rather owned a third of the club than share a sixth with a man he didn’t want to associate with. Harry was glad for that decision now, since his once silent investment turned into him having a say in business decisions and provided perks that he loved to use. 

He hadn’t really used them since he met you but he hoped one day he would. With you. 

“Yeah, well, I appreciate it… Have you seen her? I haven’t spoken to her since Wednesday and I’m really fucking worried.” Harry admitted, holding the door of the elevator open for Maeve. 

“Yeah, I have.” She nodded, “she told me what happened... It’s pretty fucked up. I hope you’ve dealt with that asshole.”

Harry assumed that meant everything. 

“I have. I mean, I will.” That still didn’t mean he was going to elaborate. The plan he had set in place to deal with Ethan was one for the inner circle only. The original, small, tightly-knit circle. It was illegal after all. To frame a man for stealing $250,000. “Is she okay?”

“She’s okay… I think she just needed space, that’s all. I wouldn’t take it personally, Harry. She loves you.”

“I know and I don’t. Well, I’m trying not to, anyway.”

The rest of the ride was full of polite small talk. Maeve complimented the flowers and the croissant, but Harry didn’t need her approval to know you loved them. He knew you would because he knew everything about you. Everything except how you were feeling right now. 

Harry made sure Maeve went back to her apartment before he knocked on your door. He was nervous, he couldn’t lie, but he was hoping that you two could talk about your panic attack and hopefully end up having a nice day together. He just wanted to hold you and see you smile. 

The door swung open barely ten seconds after Harry knocked and there you were. And you looked… okay. Thank God, you looked okay. He could see the tiredness in your eyes and body by the droop of your shoulders and bags under your eyes. You hadn’t changed out of your plaid pyjamas yet but that was normal. Aside from your clear exhaustion, you looked well. 

“Hi…” Harry breathed, smiling softly. “I wanted to check up on you. You haven’t answered my calls or texts…”

Your eyes softened and it took a moment before you said or did anything. Without saying anything, you pulled him inside by his nice vest and wrapped your arms around his body, pressing yourself against him. He reciprocated the best he could with his hands full and loosely wrapped his arms around your shoulders, breathing out a huge sigh of relief.

There was a flood of instant relief through Harry just at your tight hug. Like a heavy weight dropped from his shoulders the moment you buried your face into the light blue checks of his vest. God was he fucking ecstatic. Just having your body in his arms was euphoric and there was no feeling quite like the comfortable intimacy of a hug. 

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry.” 

He could barely understand you with how your face was pressed against him, but he made out the words and was immediately taken aback. 

“What? Baby, why are you sorry?” He soothed, now desperate to free his hands so he could take care of you properly. 

“I didn’t mean to ignore you, I was just…” you sighed and pressed your cheek to him instead, sliding your hands beneath his vest and shirt to feel his warm skin. It was like a clutch for normalcy, a tie to feeling okay again. The last few days had been so murky and unsettling. All you wanted was to feel safe again. Harry never failed to make you feel safe and yet you pushed him away. It wasn’t fair to him and it went against everything you two tried so hard to build. “The panic attack freaked me out and I needed time to sort my feelings out… I shouldn’t have ignored you, H. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t spologise baby, please…” Harry paused, “just-let me put these down, okay? Then we can talk properly?” 

You pulled back and looked up at him, reluctantly releasing him from the hug. It was barely a minute before he was on you again. All he did was set the three items on your little table before he wrapped his arms around you properly and squeezed you tight against his body, rocking you slightly from side to side. You gladly inhaled his masculine scent, finding comfort in the rich, sexiness. It was unfair that he always smelt so good. Even after the gym he still smelt like a sexy, clean wealthy man. 

“You don’t need to apologise, y/n. I know it freaked you out.” Harry soothed, pressing his lips against the crown of your head, “I was just really fucking worried. You scared the hell out of me.”

“I know. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen at all and once it did I just kept thinking and thinking and I was just so angry and exhausted. It was a lot.”  

“I know. Trust me I get it. They can be the most debilitating thing in the entire world…” Harry soothed, pulling back from you. “Do you want to go sit down and talk about it?” 

With a nod, Harry guided you to sit down on your bed with him. It was still unmade, but Harry didn’t care. You took it a step further and crawled back towards your pillows to lie down on it instead before patting the spot beside you so Harry would join you. He shoved his shoes off then shuffled in beside you, adjusting himself so you were cuddled into his chest.

It was all done in comfortable silence and once you were settled in, Harry decided to speak first. 

“They can be traumatic.” Harry murmured, “I spent nearly five hours in the gym after one of my panic attacks.” At his words, you untucked your face from his chest and looked up at him to watch him speak. He smiled down at you, stroking his fingers across your cheek like his words weren’t deeply personal and from a dark period of his life. “I worked my body so hard and wrecked myself because I was trying to deal with my emotions. Or trying not to deal, more like it. I definitely paid for it afterwards but at the time it was the only thing I knew would get my mind off it.”

“I came home Wednesday and cried,” You whispered, watching his eyes sadden. It killed him that he wasn’t there to help you. “Then I went and bought Red Bulls and chips and pulled an all-nighter to finish off an assignment like it was nothing. I was so… I don’t even know how to describe it. I was angry, yeah, but I was also so far out of my head that I just wanted to distract myself.” 

“We all do unhealthy things to cope sometimes, y/n. There’s no one way to deal with things. Pulling an all nighter might not be the best way but you were doing the best you could to cope.”

“It didn’t help.” You frowned, tracing the checks on his vest with your nail.

“I can’t imagine it did.” He chuckled softly, sighing when you didn’t look up at him. “Don’t beat yourself up for it, baby... Maeve told me you spoke to her about it. Did that help?”

So that’s how he got in. You couldn’t really be upset by it. Maeve wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t want to see him. You were just… a bit nervous to make the first move. 

“It did. It was good to rant about it with someone who didn’t really know anyone involved.”

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” 

Harry hoped you would. After hearing nothing for days he just wanted an insight into your head. 

“You don’t have to.” He continued softly, prompting you to look up at him, “I’m happy to just be here with you if that’s what you need.” He cupped your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, “I would’ve been here when it happened too. I hope you know that. You don’t have to go through these things alone if you don’t want to.”

“I know but I was just so overstimulated I think and… I didn’t want to say anything I regretted,” an unreadable look flashed through Harry’s eyes, like he wasn’t exactly sure how to take what you were saying. You sighed, looking back down at the same quad of checks you had been tracing with your finger during this entire conversation, “I don’t think I ever really processed what happened with Ethan and… your part in it, I guess. There’s been so much going on that I just kept ignoring it and ignoring his existence completely. Seeing him really triggered me and the more I thought about it…” you sighed again, “the more I was angry at you too, not just Ethan.” 

“You were?”

“I know you’ve only done what you thought the right thing to do was. But I just don’t get how you can work with him every day. He hurt me so fucking badly Harry…” you could feel your throat starting to get scratchy and your eyes prickling with tears. The stinging forced you to turn from him and close your eyes momentarily, but it did nothing to conceal how you were feeling. The sight practically broke Harry’s heart. “I don’t get how you can even be in the same building as him. It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“I feel sick every day I have to see him, y/n. I’ve done everything I can to make sure we never cross paths but sometimes it’s inevitable. He was never meant to be on my floor on Wednesday and I never would’ve let him come anywhere near you if I knew.”

“But you still work with him, Harry!” You sat up abruptly, looking down at him. “It doesn’t make sense. He’s getting no consequences for what he put us through. I get you couldn’t go to the police because there was no evidence, I get it. But I need to do something. I need you to do something.”

“I am.” He didn’t want to get frustrated at you, not when you were hurting but he was hurting too. This wasn’t fucking easy for him and if the law meant nothing he would’ve gone after Ethan himself and made sure he never bothered you or anyone else again. But he couldn’t exactly do that, could he? He sat up as well, nudging backwards until his back was against your headboard. “Y/n I’ve been dealing with him at work the last couple of months because I had to for my plan to work. I couldn’t do anything out of the ordinary because I didn’t want to bring any attention to myself, but I have a plan. It’s just one of those things you have to wait for.”

“What is it? This plan?” You crossed your arms over your chest, looking at him expectantly. 

“I can’t tell you.” Harry almost seemed reluctant to say the words, but it wasn’t because he was apprehensive about his decision to keep it a secret from you, it was because he wasn’t sure how you’d react. He didn’t want you to be mad at him, but at the same time he wasn’t going to compromise your safety and your future. 

Because that’s what it came down to. If everything went to shit and you knew even one single detail about it, you were done. 

He wasn’t going to let that happen but he also wasn’t going to sit here and lie and pretend that nothing was going on behind the scenes. That’s something he would’ve done at the beginning of your relationship, but he knew that this was just as much your fight as his and lying wasn’t the right thing to do. He could be honest and keep you safe at the same time. 

“What do you mean? Why?” 

You were immediately jumping to many conclusions, all Harry wanted to settle. He just wasn’t sure how. 

“Because it’s not exactly legal, y/n and while it’s pretty fucking foolproof I can’t risk anything. If the whole thing comes crashing down I don’t want you knowing a single bit of it.”

“But that’s-” 

“You will find out. I promise.” He interrupted, “just not until it’s over. I’m not budging on this.”

As much as you wanted Ethan to pay, you didn’t want it like this. You always knew he covered his tracks well but you hoped that by now there’d be some loose thread. Someone with hard evidence to be able to get him punished and that clearly wasn’t the case. But that didn’t mean you wanted Harry risking everything, either. It was exactly how you felt when you first met Niall and Jed and learnt about how they were blackmailing Ethan into handing over the photos. It was reckless and a huge fucking crime. You prayed that it wasn’t the same plan because nothing on this fucking planet was worth Harry going to jail and you losing him. You couldn’t even bare the thought.

“I don’t want you doing anything illegal Harry. It’s stupid!” Your voice broke in your distress, shooting Harry right in the heart like a goddamn bullet. “I’d rather him get away with everything than have you risk yourself. What if you go to jail or what if it doesn’t work? I can’t… I can’t lose you.” 

“You won’t lose me.” His eyes softened and he reached forward to cup your cheek, “You won’t.” his thumb traced over your cheek and he couldn’t help but kiss you gently before pressing his forehead against yours. “I understand you’re scared, y/n but I have to do this not only for you but for me too… I have no choice but to go down this route because he left nothing for me to work with. Fucking nothing. If there was another way, I would do it. But this is it.” 

“And you can’t tell me?” you whispered, wishing you could pry the whole truth from his mouth. 

“No.” He shook his head, leaning back just a tad so he could see your whole face at once. “But I’ve done all my due diligence, baby, I promise and I’m as far removed from it as I possibly can be. So please, just, let this one go. For now.”

“I’ll try…” you settled on, unable to promise anything more. “How long am I letting this go though? A couple of weeks? A month?” 

Harry sighed and leaned back against your headboard, “I don’t know. Could be while we’re on holiday, could be in a couple months. When I know, you know.”

“And in the meantime you’re just going to keep working with him? That doesn’t seem fair” You didn’t particularly like that idea. If it were up to you, you wouldn’t want him stepping foot into that office again while that asshole was walking around free and triggering panic attacks left right and centre. 

“Well…” His lip quirked up in a smile, “I was hoping we’d enjoy our holiday together and then who knows… maybe I won’t go back to work once we’re home. I haven’t decided yet but I’ve wanted to do something different for a while now. Just not sure what.” 

“I didn't know you were thinking of changing jobs.”

He shrugged, tracing random patterns on your back through your pyjama shirt. “I haven’t been planning anything per say, but I’m a bit bored. Seeing that asshole around doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t seem worth it anymore, not when I can do anything else and be happier for it.”

“A career change at your ripe age? That’s ballsy.” You mused, squealing and jumping slightly when he pinched your ass. 

“Well I haven’t decided anything yet, just considering my options. At my ripe age I’ve done quite well for myself so I wouldn’t mind a bit of time off. Maybe be a stay at home boyfriend while you study your pretty little ass off in your final semester.” He reached up to fiddle with the ends of your hair, twirling a strand around his finger.

“A stay at home boyfriend?” You scoffed, laughing loudly. “Stop.”

“What?” He laughed, amusement laced in his widened eyes, “we’ve got a son and two households to run, someone has to be around to cook and take care of the place.”

A son. There was something so heartwarming about Archie being referred to as your son, especially when Harry was being so casual about it. Like it was normal. Put the son reference and conjoining your two houses as one and well… that was about as committed as you could be without moving in together. Not that you were anywhere near that stage yet. 

“One of those households has a maid, a gardener and a dog walker, I’m sure it’s just fine.” You rolled your eyes, “But if you want to take care of this place and feed me I won’t complain.” 

“I’d be more than happy to feed you and fulfill any other needs you have.” He announced proudly, squeezing your hip before reaching in to peck you quickly. “Which reminds me-” he got out of bed, going to your table where your coffee and sweet treat were still waiting for you. “I got you these.” You shuffled up into a cross legged position, happily grabbing the two items when Harry sat back down on your bed. 

“Thank you.” You sipped your drink, loving the sweet taste of it. “And thank you for driving all the way down here. It means a lot.” You tore open the paper bag, ripping off a small piece of the croissant and offering it to Harry. 

“No no. It’s yours.” He declined, happy when you didn’t argue and at the piece. “And you don’t need to thank me. I love you, y/n and I wanted to see you. I always do” He smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“I love you too.” You pressed your hand on his knee and reached in to kiss him quickly, loving the way his hand returned to your back to trace random shapes over it. “I love this by the way. I never thought I’d find a vest sexy but you look really good.” You traced over the v-neck of his checkered vest with your clean hand, looking up at him. You really missed him. 

“Thanks darling. It’s vintage.” He smirked, wrapping his arm around your hip to drag you back to sit properly beside him. You felt a little dirty compared to him in his nice outfit, especially since you had been wearing the same clothes for days and desperately needed to wash your hair. Harry didn’t seem to care though and you really appreciated that. Washing your hair was a mission by itself. Add a panic attack and assignment stress and you couldn’t think of anything worse, even if the thought of a long hot shower did sound quite nice. 

“I like it.” You took a big bite of your croissant this time, moaning at the taste of the chocolate filling. You slumped against Harry, happily chewing it while he rubbed your hip and kissed your head. 

“Good?” He mused, sliding his hand just underneath your pyjama top to feel your soft skin. 

“So good.” You nodded enthusiastically. 

“I’m glad.” He laughed. A comfortable silence fell over you two, with small comments and conversation here and there. It was nice to just spend time with Harry, even if you weren’t doing much of anything. “Would you still be interested in going shopping?”

“Today?” You sat up properly and looked at him, both your coffee and croisssnt long gone and in your stomach. 

“If you’re up for it. We did plan for today but there’s no pressure. I’m more than happy to change into comfortable clothes and watch Netflix all day. Truly.” 

“No no. I could go shopping. We need to get ready for our trip, right?” You grinned, getting excited at the thought of a day walking around the shops and buying so many cute outfits for your trip. Secretly though, you liked the idea of Harry going with you more than the shopping itself. 

“We do. Yes.” He smiled, happy that you had a bit more energy. Harry hated seeing you down. Any emotion except pleasure and happiness had him determined to fix whatever the issue was. “Are you sure you’re okay, though?”

“Yep.” You climbed over him to get out of bed, stopping when you were straddling him. His hands found your hips immediately, unable to keep them off you. “I need to wash my hair though, so can you wait an hour? I’ll try and be quick.”

An hour. By that calculation you were doing your ‘everything shower’ and a full face of makeup. Harry now knew what that meant, but he was happy to sit around and keep himself occupied if that meant you were taking care of yourself. The concept wasn’t as relaxing as he thought it would be. It was more of a frustrating marathon of events where each one presented its own challenge. He made the mistake of wanting to join you for one of them, thinking it would be fun and you ended up kicking him out because you didn’t have enough space to shave the back of your leg. 

If there was one shower he let you have alone, it was that one. 

Harry chuckled and nodded, squeezing your hips then helping you climb the rest of the way off the bed. “Take your time, y/n. We’ve got all day.” 

You managed to get everything done in just over an hour and then you and Harry were on your way to the city. You grabbed another coffee as soon as you made it into the shopping centre, then the shop-to-shop walking began. There were a few items you had on your list that you were aiming to buy, but for the most part you just wanted to try a bunch of stuff on and see what you liked. Harry of course was happy to offer his suggestions and his wallet which only seemed to get him more excited to pick things out for you. 

“I was thinking…”

“Mh?” You hummed, buckling up the buckle on a pair of baby pink suede platform heels. They definitely weren’t Europe-appropriate, but you got a little sidetracked and with Harry encouraging you to try on everything you so much as looked at, it was easy to get distracted by anything that looked pretty.

“After your assignment is submitted Friday, why don’t we pack up your place and you can stay with me until we leave for our trip?”

“Harry I still have to study for two exams. As much as I love that idea, you don’t want me taking over your house.” You responded, standing up from the couch to test the comfort of the shoes. You stepped around them a little, walking to the closest mirror to have a look at them properly. “And I’m sure my parents would hate that I’m spending a week at yours instead of going home.”

“But you weren’t meant to go home at all, remember? Not until your exams were finished.” Harry coaxed, standing up from the couch to step behind you in the mirror and wrap his arms around your waist. You shivered slightly against him, still focusing on looking at the heels on your feet. “This time you’re close to home, close to Archie…” He hummed, sliding his nose up the side of your neck. This time you really shivered and your focus was taken completely away from your shoes. Not that you were thinking of buying them anyway. They were way too expensive but the allure of trying on Prada shoes alongside a man who already put aside a pair of sunglasses and a belt for himself was way too strong. “Close to me…” this time his lips brushed against your skin, leaving a trail right underneath your ear. 

Your breath hitched ever so slightly, making Harry smirk at you in the mirror. Oh he had you now. Your body was becoming more pliant in his arms and you were leaning against him more and more with every passing second. 

“You could study during the day and have Archie keep you company then at night I could feed you and help you… relax,” his hand flattened against your belly, causing the bold rings on his fingers to twinkle in the lighting. You had a sudden craving for those fingers to be in your mouth or further down south where he actually could make you relax. 

“I’ll be studying all the time, Harry.” You weren’t sure why you were protesting it so much, not when the thought of a quick orgasm as your 15-minute study break sounded so delicious. 

“And I’ll be right there beside you, working or reading or providing you with a quick… study break. Whatever you need, hm.” He drawled, kissing your cheek. All you could do was nod because you were so fucking dazed and way too horny in the middle of a store you couldn’t afford. “Do you like the shoes?”

“What?” 

You didn’t even hear what he said.

“The shoes.” He tapped your belly, looking down at your feet. “Are they comfortable?”

“Oh…” You tried to snap out of it and stepped a little in place, feeling the shoes mould perfectly to your feet. God, why did you have to love something so expensive? “Yeah, they’re comfy but I don’t need them.”

“Nonsense. They’re baby pink, your favourite colour.” Harry grinned, pulling back to step in front of you instead. The fact that he called it ‘baby pink’ and not ‘light pink’ had you screaming on the inside. He grabbed onto one of your hands, holding it out between you. “Do a spin.”

You did as told and did a 360 spin for him, liking how your heights were a bit more even with the tall heel. Without saying anything more to you, he turned to the sales associate who was waiting patiently beside the couch Harry was just sitting on. “Do you have a matching bag to these? In a baby pink?”

“Yes, sir. We have a cross body and a shoulder bag.”

“Perfect. Bring them both, please.” Harry turned back to you, then suddenly whipped his head around to the woman before she could step away, “Oh, and please bring some sunglasses too. Anything you think might suit her. Thanks, love.”

“Harry, what are you doing?” You hissed, “I’m not buying anything.”

“No, I am. I like you in pink. Besides, isn’t a shoulder bag and sunglasses a necessity for a holiday?” He mused, squeezing your hips. “Let me spoil you, darling. For doing so well on your exams.”

“I haven’t even done them yet.” You blushed, protesting slightly while threading your fingers behind his neck. “You don’t have to buy me such expensive things, H. You’ve already gotten me so much today.”

“And? You deserve it.” Harry assured you, reaching forward to kiss you gently. The lipstick you applied before you left was almost gone by now. Harry could barely keep his hands off you and you didn’t really want him to. These quick, casual pecks and signs of affection meant so much more to you than anything he could buy. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, threading your fingers softly into the hair at the nape of his neck to kiss him again. “Really. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, baby.” He kissed you again and then sealed it with another quick peck before using his grip on your hips to turn you back towards the mirror. “Now tell me you don’t love the shoes. I know you can’t.”

It was store after store of shopping. You tried to keep things concise to the list you brought of things you wanted to get, but just like the Prada shoes… and bag… and sunglasses, you were both easily distracted. You had more fun dressing Harry up more than anything. Seeing him try on complete outfits you picked out for him just hit the spot for you. You loved it.

And it had nothing to do with him looking absolutely delicious in every fucking thing. You picked out a bit of a joke outfit in one of the ‘younger’ stores as Harry liked to call it, styling him in something more skater boy than his usual refined, delicious European style and he still looked hot as anything. 

Harry hated it of course, but he did like the graphic t-shirt and managed to style it in his own way with the pair of dress pants he had on. God, he was just so fucking hot. By the third men's store you brought him into, you were sweating. You couldn’t explain why it was such a turn-on to watch him open and close a curtain and show off different outfits or why a linen button-up much like everything else he has riled you up until you were clenching your thighs, but it just did. 

You finally truly understood why he liked buying you things so much. 

“Alright, last one then I need food. It’s practically dinner time and there’s a sushi train near here. I could demolish like twenty of those little plates.” Harry chuckled to himself and opened the door of the fitting room he was in. Upon revealing himself, your mouth properly dropped. 

It was another button-up style top but this time it was entirely made out of white crochet squares. The design was fine and perfect beyond perfect and had so many little holes throughout the design, that you could see slivers of skin everywhere. Then there was the obvious sliver of skin. The top three undone buttons that Harry had purposefully left open to expose his cross necklace and littered chest hairs. The tails of his swallows were peaking past the edges and with particular movements, the moth became more visible.

Jesus fucking Christ. 

“Not sure about this one, love. ‘Dunno why.” Harry ran his hands down the fabric, looking at his shirt until he realised you hadn’t said anything. “Y/n?” 

Seeing the look at your face, Harry could see exactly what your opinion was on his shirt. 

“I love it.” You finally said, walking towards him so you could feel the soft lace across his chest. He smirked and placed his hands on your waist. “It’s soft.”

Just the feeling of the soft lace against his warm body was driving you crazy. His body heat was radiating against your hands and you suddenly craved it against your body. All this talk about ‘study breaks’ and being in the same house as him for an entire week had your head in a spin. You couldn’t stop thinking about having constant sex and how tempting it would be to have so much privacy for so long.

And this was before you two were going to have an entire month together. God, the thought of that… your vagina would never be the same, you knew that for sure.

“Mh. Comfy too.” He commented, shivering when you dug your nails through the lace holes to scratch at his chest. “So y’like it?” Harry’s head cocked a little as the attraction in your eyes quickly started to reflect in his own. 

“Uhuh.”

You peeked around quickly to make sure you were alone and when the coast was clear you made the quick decision to walk him backwards back into the fitting room. Harry was happy to follow along with you, barely being able to ask what you were doing before you locked the door behind you and grabbed onto his face to kiss him.

Harry squeezed your waist and chuckled into your mouth, sighing softly against your lips while he kissed back. His arms started to wrap tightly around you and he was trying so hard to not moan at how eager you were pressing yourself against him and nibbling on his lip and tugging on his hair and fucking hell he was going dizzy. 

You weren’t one to start things like this and Harry was enjoying every fucking moment.

“What are you doing, darling? Hm?” Harry mused, eyes fluttering shut as you tugged his head back by his hair to gain easier access to his neck. His fingers dug deeper into the small of your back in an attempt to ground himself. He had to be quiet.

“I need your cock in my mouth,” You whispered against his skin while sliding your hand down his chest towards his dress pants. Harry tensed immediately beneath you, nearly groaning loudly when your hand landed on his cock. “Please, Daddy.” 

You started to palm over his half-hard cock which was very quickly hardening properly beneath your hand. Harry’s head tipped back against the wall and his jaw went slack. He could barely fucking believe what was happening right now.

What you were doing was reckless. Inappropriate and very much illegal. Giving head on a yacht in the open ocean didn’t exactly compare to giving head in a small enclosed fitting room where there were many more people around and any small noise would give you away.

To be honest though, you didn’t really give a fuck. You could tell Harry liked that.

You pulled back from his skin and made eye contact with him while squeezing him through his pants hard enough to make his eyes flutter. Reaching forward, you kissed him softly and spoke through soft kisses until he verbally agreed to have you on your knees before him. “Let me say thank you… please… I need it so bad, Daddy.”

Harry breathed heavily against your mouth and threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of your neck to tighten them in an almost warning way. “You’ve got to be quick, y/n. Unless you want to be caught.”

Something told you Harry wouldn’t have any issues being caught with his cock in your mouth. 

With a quick nod from Harry, you began the descent onto your knees. But before they even bent, he stopped you. “Wait.” He murmured, grabbing his expensive vest that was hanging on the back of the door and then folding it in half so it was thicker. “For your knees.” 

“I thought you liked it when they bruised.” You grinned, taking the vest nonetheless and putting it on the carpet in front of his feet. You slowly got down on your knees, looking back at the lock for a second just to double-check it was actually locked. It was thrilling to be in such a compromising position, but that didn’t mean you actually wanted someone to walk in on you two. 

“Only when I can take care of you after.” Harry sighed, the sight of you before him enough to make him breathless. He tried to relax against the wall separating your fitting room from the one next door. It thankfully went floor to ceiling, so you hoped that would muffle most of the noise. As much as you could try to keep quiet, Harry was quite terrible at it and it was hard to give a proper satisfying blowjob without making some sort of noise. 

Hopefully, the store’s music would cover it.

“You always take care of me. Now it’s my turn.” You looked up at him with a smile, sliding your hands over his thighs. He looked down at you, sliding his hand through your hair to push it back from your face so he could watch your facial expressions and every move you made. 

“You look so hot in this” You complimented, pushing his button-up top up his stomach to expose his belly button and below. “You better buy it.” you leaned forward and licked a stripe from the button of his pants to his belly button, making sure to do it once more while you undid his pants. 

“I will…” Harry assured, sighing out like a pretty angel just at the feeling of your mouth on his lower belly. “You like it so I have to buy it.”

“Mhmm. Y’gonna look so good, Daddy…” 

Harry’s pants easily fell to his ankles once the button came undone. They were straight-legged and with his tight briefs pressing his cock down, they slid right down. Of course, the briefs didn’t last very long either and they soon joined Harry’s pants at his ankles.

You had no time to tease or kiss every inch of exposed skin like you wanted to. This had to be quick which was a shame when he looked so fucking hot standing there naked aside from the pretty lace button-up you wanted to keep on him. It was like sexy lingerie and it messed with your head much more than you would’ve liked. 

“I only look good for you, darling. You’re the only one I want to… shit…” 

Harry couldn’t even finish his words, not when you spat on your hand, wrapped it around him and brought him to your mouth without any fucking warning. You jerked him slowly with your hand, focusing on the base while you slid his head against your tongue. His hips bucked against your mouth at the feeling, causing you to choke a little on his cock and force yourself to pull back from him. 

“You’ve got to relax.” You licked your tongue slowly against his slit, savouring the taste of his precum. You made a show of it too and closed your eyes to hum gently once it collected on your tongue. “As much as I love choking on your cock, it’s too loud.” 

You were almost scolding him, reprimanding him for not being good and staying pressed against the wall. It was reminiscent of the first time you figured out you loved him, not that Harry knew it like that. Harry remembered the first shower blowjob he got from you as a bold move, not the craving for control that you desperately wanted at the time.

Now… you’d give up any and all control to Harry, knowing that you were really the one in charge. That’s how you two worked. You both had your limits and while Harry hadn’t really pushed them to the limits very often, he had the power to do so because you gave it to him.

And how he was putty in your hands. 

“Don’t think I won’t get you back for this…” he shuddered, fisting your hair tighter when you brought him back into your mouth, wrapping your lips around him perfectly. All you did was smile around his cock while pressing the vein underneath his length back and forth on your tongue. 

You were looking forward to the payback. 

The longer you had him in your mouth, the less you started to care about how loud you were being. Harry was doing well to keep still, albeit practically trembling against you, but his hands were tugging on your hair roughly and he couldn’t stop the string of curses in place of loud moans he wanted make for you. 

There was just nothing like the sound of male pleasure. Deep, guttural groans and whimpers, hushed lines of praise and degradation and pleads of your name. A loud curse when you clenched around him or a whimpered one when you swallowed around him like you were doing now. 

Your hand was still wrapped around his base, fingers reached further back to press against his frenulum and apply pressure to his balls at the same time. You kept moving your mouth quickly and sloppily over his tip, swirling your tongue around his head where he was most sensitive.

“Jesus fucking Christ, y/n. God… your mouth.” 

It was borderline blasphemy the way he used God’s name. The way he cursed and moaned it out because you were giving him one of the most insane blowjobs of his entire life. There was pleasure in all types of blowjob, but there was nothing quite toe-curling like having his tip sucked and flicked at so fucking harshly. Harry almost felt like he needed to squeal like a little girl.

And you were eating it up. Literally. 

Sucking Harry off just turned you on to level 100. There was something about the shape of his cock… the weight of it on your tongue… his scent and soft skin, the way he was so incredibly hard for you and yet so sensitive and dainty at the same time. All of it. Add the dirty talk and the hair pulling and his nails scratching at your head like he wanted to force your head closer so you’d choke on him and you were practically a puddle in your jeans.

You wanted to touch yourself. To just dip your fingers in your underwear and touch the pain away. Just a little.

“Can I touch myself, Daddy? I’ll be quick, I promise.” You whispered, pulling off him to speak and catch your breath while you continued jerking him off. 

Even on your knees with all the power in this situation, you still asked permission to touch yourself. Harry had to force his mind elsewhere to not prematurely cum all over your nice outfit. 

“Do it. Make yourself cum f’me, baby. You’ve been sucking me so fucking good.” He praised, rubbing his thumb over your messy mouth. Your once perfect lipliner was all smudged now, leaving behind your pretty swollen lips for Harry to trace. He had a sudden craving to kiss you silly, but with your manicured fingers wrapped around him, his cock’s craving was stronger. Hungrier. 

You nodded, bringing his cock to your mouth and bopping against it while you undid your jeans so you could slide your hand into your underwear. It was like instant relief the moment your fingers met your clit. You were soaked and slippery and so fucking horny you knew it wouldn’t take long for you to finish yourself off. 

Harry was close too. You could tell by his heavier breathing and the slight twitching in his cock. You kept your lips wrapped around his tip and focused your attention there while you used one hand on his balls and the other to touch yourself. 

The closer both of you got to finishing, the louder your noises became. You tried so hard to hide it, to keep your noises reduced to a sigh especially when you could hear people talking all around you, but it was pretty damn hard. Your one saving grace was the music echoing through the speakers, but you were getting so lost in the pleasure you didn’t know or care whether it was loud enough to cover what you two were doing.

“Shit, y/n. ‘M close. ‘M getting so close…” 

Keeping your lips wrapped around him, you took his warning as a sign to jerk him faster and time your own circles on your clit with every movement you made on his cock. And it wasn’t long after his warning when you felt his whole body tremble against you. His thighs tensed and his abs clenched, his fingers stilled in your hair.

Harry had to bite down on his own fist to try and muffle the noise he let out when he finally came in your mouth, letting ribbons and ribbons of cum fill your throat until you had to swallow to make more room. He wanted to watch you take all of it and make yourself finish, but he could barely stand up straight let alone keep his eyes open to see the way you shook and squeezed your eyes shut when your own orgasm rushed over you. 

When he nudged your head away due to sensitivity, you both seemed to collapse in your own positions to try and calm down from your highs. Your head tilted against his thigh and you just sat there for a moment collecting yourself before deciding to redress Harry. You two had been in the dressing room for way too long now and the post-orgasm clarity was starting to make you freak out about what you had just done.

You only got his button done up before Harry was picking you up off the floor and drawing you in for a heated kiss.

“God I fucking love you.” He murmured, kissing you over and over again while you giggled into his mouth. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, poking his chest. “We should do that again sometime.” You breathed through a laugh while zipping up his pants for him. You were a little in disbelief at what just happened. 

“We should,” Harry smirked, reaching between you to zip up your jeans and do the button for you. “Though next time it’ll be you trying to keep quiet and we both know you have a harder time keeping your noises to yourself.”

“That’s so not true!” you scoffed, turning to the mirror so you could fix your hair. “I can keep completely silent thank you very much,” you couldn’t, not when you were with Harry anyway. 

“You’re such a liar.” He laughed, shaking his head while taking the lace shirt off so he could put his own clothes back on. You watched him through the mirror, still overly horny and unsatisfied. Seeing his bare chest just made you want his cock in your mouth again. Or better and far more satisfying, inside you. “I can very easily prove you wrong though, I hope you know that.” 

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes and then without any warning felt Harry press his chest into your back while he wrapped his hand around your neck. Your eyes widened and you felt your head go dizzy when he applied pressure just in the right spots. 

“I’ve been very generous to you today, baby, and while having my cock in y’mouth is a very nice thank you, I don’t think it warrants attitude, does it?” he murmured, making eye contact with you in the mirror while running his nose up the length of your neck. 

Fuck me. 

God, you wished he would. 

You swallowed thickly, a little overwhelmed at how dominant he became in a flash. You had almost forgotten what it was like to have him so in control and so powerful. Since you got together he had been so soft and loving. The parts of him that would correct you and reprimand you when you broke eye contact or showed a hint of attitude had significantly softened. They hadn’t disappeared altogether, your sex and your life together was still playful and Harry was most definitely in charge, but with your lives being so busy and having so many things to work through, it was clear to both of you that things had changed. 

You just hadn’t really spoken about it. 

But you didn’t want to forget. You didn’t want Harry to think that he couldn’t push boundaries anymore or be rough with you just because you two were in a relationship. In the beginning you knew he didn’t want to overstep because things were so emotionally raw still, but now that things were good between you two… 

You put it down to not having time, which was a big part of the problem. Still, you missed it.

“N-no…” You breathed, sliding your hand to cover the one he had around your neck, “No, it doesn’t.”

“Exactly. So?” He prompted with a raised brow, caressing his fingers up and down the sides of your neck with little pressure. 

“‘M sorry, Daddy.” 

The title slipped out easily, naturally. It was never going to be part of your lives 24/7 because that wasn’t your dynamic, but you two were clearly still playing and you were still in the high of sucking him off. It was just so easy to let go of all thoughts and issues when he took control like this. 

“Good girl, angel.” He smiled, manoeuvring your face to the side so he could kiss you and look at you directly. You savoured the kiss, craving that closeness even when he pulled away to run his thumb over your lips. “Are you still hungry?”

You nodded. “Very.”

“Good.” His eyes softened and he couldn’t resist kissing you again. “Wait outside then, okay? I’ll get dressed then we’ll drop our bags to the car and go get dinner.” 

“Okay.” You nodded again, wanting nothing more than to just cling to him and never let you go. Still, you did what he asked and cautiously slipped out of the room, thankful that the one person standing out there paid no attention to you or even Harry when he exited his fitting room a minute later.

It was decided during your dinner together that you’d go back with Harry to his house. After spending such a nice day together, you didn’t really want to go home. You knew you should’ve, especially since you still had one assignment to go before you could focus on studying for your exams, but you knew that you wouldn’t get anything done after the week you’ve had whether you were with Harry or without him.

And you’d much rather be with him. 

When you got to his home, you wanted to try everything on again just to make sure you liked what you got in case you changed your mind. Fitting room mirrors can give you the best or worst confidence in the world and you always need to see things in your own house (or Harry’s in this case) to make a final decision. While Harry didn’t quite understand your logic, he was happy to sit in his nice armchair and watch you try everything on for him. 

Harry found it quite adorable the way you analysed yourself. The look of concentration and slight furrow in your brow as you observed yourself from every angle. Harry liked everything on you of course, but he quickly learnt you still needed to hear it from him at least three times before you believed it. 

“Okay, last one.” You declared, emerging from his walk-in closet where you just looked at the dress for a solid three minutes before wanting Harry’s opinion. 

“It’s gorgeous. I love the colour on you.” Harry beamed, fingers laced together with his elbows resting on his parted knees. He scanned your body, thinking that this one was possibly his favourite dress of the day. “Makes your bum look great.”

“Stop.” You scoffed, laughing while looking back in the mirror. You were able to see it from the doorway of his walk-in robe, which was handy. “Seriously, though. You don’t think it washes me out?”

“No. I think it suits you perfectly. It’s different from other dresses you have too.” 

You didn’t quite understand how Harry had the patience to sit through a haul like this. Your dad never did, even when you forced him to at least pretend to be interested and yet Harry acted like every outfit was the newest, greatest thing he had ever seen. If it were even possible, you loved him more for it. 

“That’s what I was thinking. I wanted a few things that are a bit more unique, y’know? Even though I’ll probably end up wearing the same things all the time anyway.” You laughed to yourself, eyes focused on the dress. You tilted your body side to side, watching how the fabric flowed around you. “So you definitely like it?”

Barely a minute after his second assurance and you needed another. Harry would happily tell you how beautiful you are a million times if that made you happy. 

“Yes.” Harry nodded, “1000%”

“1000% huh?” You grinned at him. He nodded with an equally happy smile. “Okay then. I’m satisfied with my purchases now and I feel justified.” You announced it like you were proud of the outcome, even though you didn’t buy a single item of anything that you tried on for Harry. He fucking loved it though. If you ordered him to buy you a new car or a $20,000 bag he’d do so in a heartbeat then need to fuck you because of how much it turned him on.

“Good.” Harry laughed, sitting back in his chair. “C’mere, baby.” He motioned you over to him, letting you step between his parted before he wrapped his arms around your hips. You smiled down at him, slinging your arms around his neck.

“Hi.” 

“Hi.” He smiled, hugging you closer to him. “Are you feeling better after this morning?”

Your smile faltered and suddenly the happiness you got from your little shopping spree disappeared into thin air. It was nothing but a quick distraction, easily ruined by a reality check. You couldn’t blame Harry though. All he did was check in on you.

You nodded and started twirling the hair at the nape of his neck around your fingers. “Yeah… it was nice to have the distraction. There’s just been so much shit going on at the moment and I feel like I haven’t breathed properly for weeks. I just want to have a clear head for once, y’know? Just not think about anything.” you sighed, looking down for a moment.

“I can help with that,” Harry said softly, tilting your head up with his index finger so you were forced to look at him. “You know that right, y/n? I can give you anything you want…” his voice dropped an octave and you were instantly aware that he wasn’t offering a listening ear. Your breath hitched and your body completely tensed up in his arms, “...anything you need.” 

“I know…” you whispered, unable to look anywhere except right into his darkening gaze.

“So let me…” he urged, “Do you want me to clear your head for you?...” he scanned your face, sliding the tip of his index finger from your chin down to trace along your neck. It was a trail of fire. Just the path of his fingertip was making you need to claw out of your own skin and he had barely touched you. It felt like he hadn’t properly touched you for weeks. “To take away all your stress and your thoughts… let you be completely relaxed?”

You were practically trembling in his touch. One hand was squeezing your waist and the other was trailing patterns over your neck and your collarbones, down to the modest neckline of your dress. You were dying. 

“I can take full control if you want me to, y/n. You just have to say the word.” He flattened his palm against your neck, making you flutter your eyes closed as he enclosed his hand around it. He applied no pressure, just a loose hold to show you what he could do to you. For you. “I can be Harry or Daddy… whatever you need. Anything you need.”

The way his mouth moved at the two clear syllables of ‘Daddy’ had you sweating. He was giving you every choice, every option so that he knew exactly what you needed and wanted. So that he could take the reigns and let you sink into your submissive bliss. 

You needed that more than anything else in the entire world.

“I…” your words faltered, even as you forced yourself to look at him. “I need you, Daddy. Please.”

Harry nodded, scanning your face once more as the side of his mouth lifted ever so slightly in the softest smile he could muster. “I love you and I’m so proud of you for everything you’re achieving, y/n. It takes a lot of strength and endurance to be as strong as you have been.” Now it was your heart that was trembling. “Now let me do it for you. You’re gonna be a good girl for me, aren’t you, darling?”

“Yes-yes, thank you.” You nodded eagerly, wanting to sink into his arms so he could take the weight off your feet for you. If he could walk for you, you would’ve let him. 

“Good. I want to take you back to Pleasing.”

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[privcharlie]

MAEVE: WHAT?! THAT'S AWESOME!

TEXTS 📲 ABRAMS FAM

TOMMY: Hey! It's been a busy busy time at Disney and sorry I'm only just getting to you guys now TOMMY: But I have exciting news! [...] TOMMY: Delilah and I are engaged!

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[g4rvez-r3id]

Let Me Stay

Ex! Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU Reader

Synopsis: You and Spencer have gone back to normal, somewhat. But it only takes one conversation to ruin that all again. All you wanna do is stay, but he won’t let you.

Category: Angst

Warnings: not really a happy ending, established past relationship, maeve arc, mentions of death and suicide, takes place during 8x17 “The Gathering”, mentions of 8x17 events, spencer being a lil sad shit, crying, reader was in a past relationship before spencer, it’s just really sad, let me know if i missed anything! <3

Author’s Note: here is part two to “when you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light”! it’s short and sad 🤗 might make a part three???

part one

After helping Spencer, things were back to somewhat normal. You’d both bumped up from only talking on cases to the occasional small talk near the kitchenette or asking how each other’s days were going when you both were in the elevator on the way to the bullpen.

Everyone seemed to notice the change but hadn’t said anything to indicate that they knew. But then you’d heard Garcia gossiping about it in her office the other day to Morgan.

“Can you believe it? They’re finally talking again! Isn’t that great? Small talk can lead into something more! Maybe they’ll finally get together again and my ship will sail!” She’d fangirl and you shook your head with a small chuckle escaping your lips. (She was always so hell-bent that you two would eventually get back together).

Not that you didn’t agree with her, you always hoped you’d get somewhere with Spencer again. You just didn’t know when you could. He was still in mourning over Maeve and you knew he needed time to heal before dating again. You’d wait forever if you had to, unfortunately.

He still seemed quiet during most of the cases or would bury himself in his work to avoid feeling his feelings. And you couldn’t say you blamed him, because if it were you, you’d do the same thing. You have done the same thing. So, with understanding, you left him alone. And you were waiting for him to come to you.

And then you had that case in Minnesota. Your unsub was Peter Harper, he had stabbed women and pulled their tongues out pre-mortem. And you knew that him pulling the tongues out had some kind of significance to him. The disparate set of women victims was chosen at random until they discovered one connection between the women and it was that they all have a very strong on-line presence, their deaths telegraphed by stories in their own online blogs, messages or texts.

They’d finally found him at a public pool, ready to throw a woman in the pool and to wait for her to drown and when the team finally found him, he’d had a knife to his neck, ready to kill himself. You and JJ tried to talk him down off the ledge and told Peter he’d get help and that everything was gonna be okay. But then Reid had spoken up, telling him the truth and the total opposite from what you and JJ were saying.

Peter had killed himself shortly after that. And Reid walked off in frustration. You and JJ shared a look, wondering what the hell that was about.

You’d gone back to the office after filling out your paperwork. You were ready to go home, to relax and to wash the stench of this case off of you. And while you were packing up, you’d overheard Hotch and Reid’s conversation nearby. You knew Hotch was questioning his decision with telling Peter Harper the truth — that it wouldn’t get better, that it was gonna be hard to get help.

And when questioned about it, Reid’s answer was simple. “Well, Hotch, I thought the last time I was in a situation like this, I did exactly what I was supposed to. I told a perfect lie and that didn't work, so this time, in the hopes of saving someone's life, I tried something different.”

And then it was clear what this was about. Maeve. And you’d known that he still wasn’t over her. And of course, it really hadn’t been that long since she died, the wounds were still raw.

When you saw Reid abruptly leave the convo between him and Hotch and head towards the elevator, you knew to follow immediately. You’d worried a lot about him since what happened with Maeve. And you guessed that you just wanted him to be reassured that he had someone in his corner.

“Spencer,” You called in the parking garage and he’d turned around at the sound of your voice and could tell by his sigh that he was in no mood to talk with you but regardless he stopped.

“Look, I really don’t want to talk right now—” And you should’ve just left it at that. But you pushed, like you always do. Instead of walking away, you interrupted him. “I don’t care if you don’t wanna talk, but you know what you’re gonna do? You’re gonna listen.” Spencer crossed his arms, obviously in defense mode as you continued.

“Spencer, we have given you time. We have been there for you thick and thin and all we wanna do is help—” This time, he interrupts you. “Have you ever thought about the fact that maybe I don’t want your help? That maybe what I need is just a little bit of space?”

With that, he walked off.

And you’d officially had enough.

“Do you really think that you are the only person in the world who has lost someone?” You exclaimed and Spencer stopped in his tracks, his back still facing you. “Well, you are barking up the wrong tree because — newsflash, Spencer — you are not the only person who’s lost someone. When I lost—” You pause, not wanting to say his name. “I was… such a wreck.”

You gulp, deciding to continue, hoping your words were getting somewhere with him. “And you helped me, remember? I never would’ve gotten through that if you hadn’t of helped. And I pushed and pushed you away but you didn’t leave. You stayed. All I’m asking is to let me stay.” You walk over to Spencer and he looks down at the ground, avoiding your eyes as you choose to stand in front of him.

You bow your head, wanting to meet his eyes as you put a waiting hand on his soft cheek. You move his head to look at you. “So, let me stay.” He can see the tears forming in your eyes as you practically beg him. His eyes gaze over to your lips before quickly going back to your eyes.

“Please don’t shut me out when all I wanna do is help.” You tell him and instead of nodding and listening to you and asking you to stay, he walks away. Because if he stays any longer, he might kiss you. And you don’t deserve that. Not right now.

He walks away, leaving your heart in pieces and you in shambles. He chose his path, so you must take the same route and forget you’d ask him to let you stay.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

There's a 100% Chance I'm Gonna Marry You | Spencer Reid

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: The team doesn’t even know of her existence but when Spencer can’t get a hold of her, he gets worried. Now he has no other choice than to tell his coworker about her.

Warnings: worry, guns, kicking down doors, mention of Maeve & Haley's death, fluff!

Author's note: I kinda love this like a lot???

Words: 3.4K

Spencer was happy. Considering the things he had gone through in the past ten years, no one had expected him to ever come back to his incredibly happy and constantly smiley self. No one had ever seen him so giggly and teasing his colleagues every single day. 

If you asked his coworkers, all of them would say something different. JJ, Alex and Penelope all swore he was simply in love. Hotch and Rossi knew what was happening – years of profiling in their back pocket that would catch onto the tiniest signs and being his boss had its perks. Morgan believed he was just getting laid, finally. 

If you asked Spencer, he’d simply shrug and say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

The truth was that he was in love, just like his female coworkers had guessed. 

He had met her a few years earlier at a bookstore. The two of them had reached for the exact same book at the exact same time, causing their hands to bump. Apologies floated through the air, followed by their awkward giggles when their eyes locked. Spencer offered to buy her the book that day and she insisted they read it together over a cup of coffee. Of course he didn’t decline, and neither did he alert her that he read as fast as lightning. For her, he’d read at her pace. 

Ever since that day, the two of them had been hanging out non-stop at bookstores, coffee shops, and eventually at each other’s apartment. It took them a good six months before finally sharing a searing kiss that sealed their relationship. 

That kiss was about a little over a year ago and now, the two of them were living together. Albeit, she kept her old address, with the help of Hotch who had called in favor, just to throw anyone that snooped into their personal affairs off. 

Without any of his colleagues knowing. 

At first, he didn’t want their relentless teasing, but then he was reminded of how the BAU’s family and partners were put in constant danger over being even slightly connected to them. Spencer almost wanted to break up with her over it, just to keep her safe. And they did, for a good week, until Spencer realized he couldn’t live without her. 

She was fine with being his little secret. Though sometimes, she wanted to get to know his colleagues after all the stories she heard from him. The gruesome details about those stories, however, she’d rather forget immediately. 

That was why the two of them kept in touch as much as they could during his cases. Quick phone calls, just to check in with one another, constant text messages, … There was never a moment where the two of them didn’t hear from one another. 

When one day she didn’t answer him, he grew immediately worried. 

That day had started early for Spencer. He'd been woken up at five am by a call from JJ, telling him to come into work as soon as he could, but not to bring a go-bag. Her eyes had fluttered open ever so slightly, but he shushed her and kissed her forehead. 

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered and tried to pull away, but her arms snaked around his neck, pulling him back. 

The girl whined and though her eyes were closed, her lips were pursed. “Gimme kiss first.” 

Chuckling, Spencer leaned down and kissed her on the lips sweetly. “I love you.”

“Mmh, love you too. Come back to me in one piece, Doctor Reid.” 

She tugged at the duvet to cozy up and doze off again. For a couple seconds, he watched her with a tender smile plastered on his face. He hated leaving the girl he loved behind. He’d much rather cuddle up to her underneath the covers. 

“I promise,” he whispered and kissed her head again before finally turning on his heel and walking out the apartment. It was always with a heavy heart that he left the apartment, but his mind was quickly occupied by the case at hand. 

It wasn’t until 10am when he received a text from her. The initials “L.G.” flashing onto his screen. It was her contact name that she had added. It stood for Lover Girl, she had told him, while putting his contact name as P.B.; Pretty Boy. 

L.G.: I actually slept until now. Got any statistics on that, Doctor? 

A smile took over his entire face. She often asked him for any statistics about whatever she was thinking about. It was her favorite thing to do, listening to him ramble off facts and statistics, which was why she’d asked for it. Even if it was merely through text.

P.B.: 55% of people oversleep at least once a week and 75% of those have missed work. A little over 30% said they oversleep once a week and 24% do it multiple times a week.

He waited a minute, she usually answered within a couple minutes and he and Morgan were waiting for their colleagues to compile their theories anyway. When her message popped onto his screen, he couldn’t help but smile even wider. 

L.G.: You never disappoint. – Thank GOD for bank holidays. ;-) 

Spencer chuckled before starting to type up a response. 

P.B.: What are you up to today? 

Before her reply came in, their colleagues filed into the briefing room where he and Morgan resided. He quickly chucked his phone in his pocket and focused on what his coworkers were saying. It took a couple of minutes as they put their heads together and piece together some of the evidence they had found. 

“Morgan, Reid, I’m gonna need you to go to the apartment building and ask around if anyone has seen Peter in the hallways that night. Alex and Rossi, you’re on the new crime scene. JJ and I will head to the M.E.”

Everyone nodded at their assignments before they got up and filed out of the briefing room. As Spencer followed Morgan out to the SUV, he grabbed his phone to check her message she had sent. 

L.G.: Just going to run some errands. Do you need anything from the grocery store? 

P.B.: Can you get me some of those rice crispy treats, please, angel? 

He put his phone back in his pocket before turning to his coworker next to him, who was sneaking glances at him whilst driving. “I do still wonder who you’re always texting with that dopey smile on your face.” 

Spencer coughed. “My-my mom.” 

“Are you ever gonna tell me the truth?” Derek asked, his thick brows raised. There was no answer at the top of that genius brain of his, so he simply grimaced and nodded his head. 

The two of them focused back on the case and went door to door at the apartment building, asking everyone if they had seen who they were looking for. None of them were much help and when they were done interviewing the inhabitants, one hour had passed. On the way back to the car, Spencer checked his phone again, but no messages from his Lover Girl this time. 

He frowned and sent her another text. 

P.B.: Back from the store yet, L.G.? Did you remember my rice crispy treats? 

It wasn’t usual for her to take this long to reply, especially when she had a day off. Her phone’s sound was always on and she had it closeby at every moment. Worry settled on his chest. He couldn’t act on the anxieties swirling around in his mind as he couldn’t just rush home mid-case. 

When there was no answer another hour later, Spencer knew something was up. He tried to call her when he and Morgan were waiting on the rest of the team to regroup, but it went straight to voicemail. 

“Hiya! You just missed me, but leave a message and I’ll call you back when I can.” 

The sound of her voice calmed him down a little bit, but the fact that it was her voicemail only made his worry grow. Two steps forward and one step back, it felt like. 

“You okay, Reid?” Morgan asked when he noticed his coworker in distress. 

Spencer internally groaned at the fact he couldn’t tell Morgan what was stressing him out because he had decided to keep his girlfriend a secret. Especially at a moment like this when there could be something wrong with her. For all he knew, she could be hurt. The exact reason for keeping her a secret in the first place.

“Uhm, yeah,” he lied. “Yeah, I’m okay.” 

It was crystal clear that Morgan didn’t believe his coworker but with the height of the case nearing, he decided not to press any further. It was only hours later, when they closed the case, and Spencer was clearly spiraling that he decided to ask further. 

“Reid, seriously, what’s going on?” he asked when Spencer hung up his phone for a fifth time, not getting the answer he wanted. 

Spencer sighed and chucked his phone in his pocket, his hands trembling as he did so. “I-I need to go home. Something’s wrong.” 

“With your mom?” Morgan asked as he watched Spencer rush out the BAU. The resident genius didn’t even bother to answer, which left Morgan with no other choice than to simply follow behind him. “Hey, Reid!” he called when he caught up to Spencer near the SUV. With furrowed brows and trembling hands trying to unlock the car, the younger man looked up. “Let me drive.” 

And with that said, Derek and Spencer got into the car and drove off to Spencer’s apartment. Derek wasn’t even sure what he was in for, but he trusted Spencer enough to follow him blindly. The two of them entered Spencer’s apartment building and rushed up the stairs to apartment 23.

A scream echoed through the door and reverberated in Spencer’s chest, causing his heart to plummet to his stomach. Derek and Spencer both reached for their guns, ready to shoot whoever’s hurting this screaming person. Another scream came from inside and Derek quickly and swiftly kicked down the apartment door. 

Another scream, but this time because of the sudden disruption. Once Spencer was certain there was no immediate danger, he holstered his weapon, as did Derek. His eyes scanned over his girlfriend. She had her hair scraped back into a messy bun, an old CalTech shirt of his that reached just beneath her bum and underneath it the tiniest of shorts that were barely visible. 

Once her heart had calmed down from the near-heart attack, she tugged the earphones out of her ears. “Fucking hell, Spence, way to give a girl a heart attack.” She threw a cushion from the couch at him. 

“Me?! You weren’t answering any of my calls or texts! I thought you were kidnapped,” he argued before stalking up to her and taking her into his arms into a much-needed hug. 

She pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I’m sorry, I was too wrapped up in that new Taylor Swift song and singing along.”

“Ah, that was the screaming about,” Morgan muttered, shaking his head with a chuckle.  

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Spencer whispered and kissed her head before remembering there was someone else in the room. Coughing, he looked up at his coworker and only slightly let go of her, keeping an arm around her shoulders. 

“So, you’re ready to tell me the truth now?” Derek asked, a smirk on his face. 

Spencer smiled down at the girl. “Morgan, this is y/n, my… girlfriend.” 

The girl reached out a hand for him to shake and Derek did, but not without eyeing her up and keeping that teasing demeanor. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. Spence has told me so much about you.” 

“Wish I could say the same about you, but unfortunately, Boy Wonder never mentioned you once,” he told her, chuckling. “How did you keep this a secret from all of us?” 

Spencer shrugged. “I thought it would be better to keep our relationship a secret from everyone to keep her safe. We all know what happened to Haley, I don’t–” He inhaled sharply, unable to get the words across his lips. Noticing his sudden tensed shoulders, she interlaced her fingers with the ones on the hand on her shoulder, squeezing them reassuringly. “She kept her old address, just so no one could trace her back to me. Only Hotch and Rossi know.” 

“I wish we could’ve met under better circumstances,” she told him, gesturing to her appearance. 

“Shut up, you look cute,” Spencer reassured her and kissed her temple again. 

The smile never left Derek’s face as he looked at the sight in front of him. “I’m happy for you, Reid, you know that, right?” he asked happily, a hint of pride in his tone that caused her insides to grow mushy. 

From Spencer’s stories, she could tell the team cared about him a lot, but hearing it in real life and seeing it in Derek’s eyes and face meant the absolute world to her. She knew he was safe whenever he was with them, she knew she didn’t have to worry too much when he was out at work. They would protect him no matter what. 

Sensing Derek wanted to talk to Spencer alone, she excused herself and removed herself to the bedroom where she looked for something more appropriate to change into. All while keeping an ear on the conversation between the two coworkers. 

“I know,” she heard Spencer mumble. “I’m just scared, you know? She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want that to be taken away from me… again…” Heat crept to her cheeks as she listened to her boyfriend talk about her. 

“I get that,” Derek said. “She’s important to you – she’s family. Family of yours is family of ours, Reid. You don’t want anything to happen to her, and neither do we. We’d do anything in our power to protect her.” 

“Like we did Haley and Maeve?” 

She knew all about Maeve and Haley. Spencer had explained everything to her. It scared her to death that something like that could happen to the family of the BAU agents as much as it scared her something terrible could happen to Spencer. 

“You know that was out of our control, Reid,” said Morgan. 

A short silence fell and she knew Spencer inhaled deeply before continuing. “I know, but what if the same thing happens to her? I can’t lose her, Morgan. I wanna keep her safe, out of harm’s way.” 

“Don’t you think your best shot at keeping her safe is to have us informed about it? At least then, we can keep her safe and help you protect her,” he explained and she couldn’t help but agree with her. With her heart a little heavier and her outfit changed into jeans and a top with her hair down, she walked out into the living room. 

“He’s right though, baby,” she mumbled, capturing the boys’ attention. 

Spencer sighed, “Y/N.” He shook his head. 

“Don’t “y/n” me, Spencer. Your little family sounds amazing and I wanna be part of that, too.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, placing her head against his chest. “I know you wanna protect me, but don’t you think we both got a better chance if we got them in our lives, too?” 

Another sigh heaved Spencer’s chest, causing her head to move along with it. “Okay, you’re probably right.” He kissed the top of her head before looking at Morgan again. “Text everyone to come over here for dinner.”

“We don’t have enough food for that many people, honey,” she gasped, almost in a panic. 

Spencer shrugged. “We’ll order Chinese.” 

Within half an hour, the entire team had arrived at Spencer’s, one by one getting acquainted with the one he had kept secret for so long. Neither one knew why they were invited to apartment 23 but when they did find out, their reactions melted y/n’s heart. 

First, it was Penelope. The chirpy, colorful blonde she had heard so much about. 

“What’s the emergency? Are you okay, Reid? I–” she stopped in her tracks when her eyes landed on the girl beside the resident genius. “Who–Wha–” she stumbled over her words, her brain short-circuiting. 

With a smile, she reached out her hand to shake Penelope’s. “Hi, I’m y/n.” 

“Reid’s girlfriend,” the brunette that had come up behind her moments after, deducted. 

Penelope’s eyes widened before taking the girl into her arms. “Oh, my God! I knew it! I knew our Boy Wonder was in love!” 

Giggles filled up the apartment. Spencer and y/n couldn’t help but lock eyes, happy this was the reaction from his coworkers to his news. “Happy to meet you, too, Penelope.” 

“Hi,” the brunette greeted when Penelope pulled away. “I’m Alex Blake.” 

One by one, the team filed in, greeting y/n as though she was part of the family. With Chinese food scattered around the dining room table, the whole family sat, ate and asked the couple all the questions they needed answers to. 

“When did you first meet?” The blonde y/n has come to be known as JJ. 

Y/N glanced over to Spencer and took a hold of his hand, entwining their fingers in his lap. “We met at a bookstore, we were reaching for the same book–”

“Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver,” Spencer interrupted. 

“That one,” she concurred with a giggle. “He insisted on buying it for me and I insisted we read it together.” Her nose scrunched up while her lips pressed together, remembering how adorable Spencer was that day, and still was. 

“Damn, boy,” Derek commented. “Didn’t know you had game.” 

“What do you do?” Alex then questioned, moving on from their meet-cute. 

“I’m a primary school teacher,” she responded. “I try to mold and form these brilliant little minds to become something that somewhat resembles this genius’ mind.” She placed her free hand on Spencer’s head and lovingly squeezed. 

A collective bubble of laughter spread through the apartment, causing y/n’s heart to flutter. She loved being around Spencer’s friends. They were lovely and brought out the best in Spencer. While he always had his guard down when he was with her and showed her his soft side, his friends brought out a completely different side in him. A side she had seen before, but never with people other than her. 

For an entire night, the team asked the couple questions, told stories about Spencer even she didn’t know yet and she easily returned the favor. It turned out to be a lovely night that would be grafted into the couple’s minds for a long time. 

“I enjoyed spending time with your friends,” she told him when they were cuddled up in bed afterwards. 

As soon as they hit the mattress, their limbs entangled and her head ended up on his chest. While his hand trailed up and down her back, hers was drawing patterns on his chest. A position they had found themselves in almost every night. 

“Mmh,” he hummed. “They loved you.” 

She let out a giggle. “Of course they did.” 

A laugh rumbled Spencer’s chest, reverberating through her head. It was her favorite sound and feeling in the whole wide world. She lifted her head from his chest to properly look at him, finding him looking up at the ceiling. From this angle, she had a perfect view at his sharp jawline, his curls sticking out here and there, and his long lashes fluttering to keep himself awake. 

“Got any statistics, Doctor?” she then asked, putting her head back in place, right over his heart to hear it beat just for her. 

She could feel him turn his head to look at her. “About what?” he asked. 

“Anything,” she answered. 

He sighed. A content sigh, one where you could hear the smile in his breath. “There’s a hundred percent chance I’m gonna marry you,” he muttered and kissed the top of her head. 

A smile curved her lips upwards while her eyes slowly shut. Her body was completely relaxed, her heart fluttering in his presence. She could see their entire future flash before her eyes. Spencer getting down on one knee at the bookstore, her father walking her down the aisle while his friends and coworkers and his mom sat in the pews. She could see ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers. 

She could see forever with him. 

“There’s a hundred percent chance I’m gonna say yes.” 

Everything taglist: @calamitykaty @littlemissaddict @n0wornever @wanniiieeeee @unnowhatthisistbhh

Criminal Minds Taglist: 

@boimlers-gonna-boimm @samsbirks @tinaasthings @dysphoricsanity @love4lando @elenamoncada-ibarra @r-3dlips @magstheslayer @astess 

[venus-haze]

Kick It Out (Queen Maeve x Reader)

Summary: Maeve doesn’t date, for her own good and that of anyone she might be interested in. Teaching you how to kickbox definitely isn’t dating, even if the two of you do flirt every time you’re alone.

Note: Female reader with some references to being plus size, but not enough for me to designate the fic as such. No other descriptors are used. This takes place slightly before Homelander outed Maeve, but she still does a lot of internal shittalking about him. Hopefully I did well with her characterization because I’m already planning a follow-up. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Some references to homophobia Maeve’s experienced. Homelander vaguely threatens the reader to Maeve. Semi-public fingering, Maeve's kinda rough. Do not interact if you’re under 18.

It was a coincidence, really, when Maeve walked by Vought’s employee gym during one of the yoga sessions that was part of HR’s company wellness initiative. She’d forgotten Vought even had that, not interacting much with the corporation's rank and file on a regular basis and using The Seven’s exclusive gym to train. The employee gym was spacious, clean, and at that moment filled with dozens of Vought employees in a rainbow of athleticwear. Maeve could remember the old Jane Fonda workout tapes her mom used to put on in the mornings, how pleased she was with little Maggie’s rapt attention at the videos. You always need to keep your body moving, Maggie. It’s so important. 

Her eyes scanned the group lazily until they landed on you in the middle of a stretch that made Maeve feel like that little girl staring at Jane Fonda in spandex all over again. She licked her lips, giving you a quick once over before anyone could notice. You would become target number one the moment Homelander got a whiff she was remotely interested in you. Her fists clenched at the thought of how he–and her own complacency–ruined her relationship with Elena. She couldn’t do that to you, not that she even knew your name, and she wouldn’t learn it if she could help it. She wasn’t that selfish.

At least, that’s what she thought, until somehow she kept running into you. An interview here, a briefing there, she wasn’t even sure what you did at Vought exactly. It didn’t matter. You clearly hadn’t drunk the Kool-Aid, viewing your job as a way to pay the bills instead of the feverish devotion so many of its employees had. She started looking forward to seeing you, taking the opportunity to stand next to you when she could and exchange quips back and forth about how corny a promotion seemed or how weird the marketing team was. 

Like clockwork, though, you’d be in the employee gym whenever the yoga classes were being held. She casually brought it up one day, asking if you were really that into yoga, or just taking advantage of the free classes.

You nodded. “Yoga’s nice, but I’d love to get into kickboxing or something. I’m kind of nervous to sign up for a class. I’ve never done anything like that before, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up.”

“I can teach you,” Maeve said, the words coming out of her mouth before she could even think.

“Are you sure? That’d be great, but only if you have the time and everything.”

“Yeah, let me give you my number. It’ll be easier to plan that way.”

You handed your phone to her, and she quickly entered her personal number into your messages, texting a simple ‘Hey’ to herself. She hesitated a moment before giving you back your phone. Okay, this was for real. She was committing to it. 

“I’ll text you later. I’m free most weeknights, so just let me know,” you said cheerfully.

A sour mix of excitement and regret clouded her mind until you left, and as she walked down the hall to the elevator, she thought she’d at least have a chance to at least convince herself that it wouldn’t be that bad. She was never that lucky.

“Uncharacteristically nice of you to offer to help out Y/N,” Homelander said, almost as if materializing out of nowhere.

Maeve balled her hands into fists at her side. Why did he always have to be lurking? Recently, he had been fucking off to god only knows where, sometimes for days at a time. Of course he had to be around when she finally made a move. “I’m just full of surprises.”

“Your heart’s beating like a racehorse, Maeve. You’re not that excited about just practicing some kickboxing moves, are you? I’d be a better partner than her, in that case. You and I are practically indestructible. Her on the other hand—it’s amazing how fragile humans are.”

Maeve remained silent, letting out a shaky breath as she refused to acknowledge his taunting.

“You think she knows her sports bra is a size too small? I mean, one downward dog and her tits are practically spilling out of—“

“Get a grip,” Maeve snapped.

“Hey, don’t be like that. It’s just locker room talk,” Homelander said, a menacing smile plastered across his face. “Speaking of surprises, I wonder what Y/N would think if she knew this was all a ploy for you to get into those tight yoga pants of hers. I guess I can’t blame you. Not exactly my type, but with the way you can see her panty line through them, she’s practically asking for it.”

“Asking for what?” she asked, standing taller as she looked him in the eye, daring him to make his threat. 

“Hit a nerve there, huh, Maeve?”

“Mind your business, and I’ll mind mine.”

“Well, you sure know how to pick ‘em,” he said abruptly.

She knew him well enough that it meant someone was coming down the hall, and he didn’t want them hearing a word he said. Scoffing, she shook her head as she walked away, trying to keep a brave face as she made her way to the elevator. 

Storming into her suite, she slammed the door behind her and threw the nearest breakable object at the wall before collapsing onto the couch, her head in her hands. Fuck. She’d been too obvious, too careless, and now you were going to be on the receiving end of it. Keeping her distance wouldn’t be fair to you, and it’d only put you in more danger when it came to Homelander. As much of a Girl Scout as Starlight could be sometimes, at least she was willing to risk it all for Hughie, even when he was lying through his teeth to her about Butcher and Compound V. At the very least, Maeve could do the same for you moving forward.

Still, she decided she was way too sober for her liking, and dug through her cabinets to find a half-drunk bottle of vodka, wanting to escape the gravity of the situation she found herself in for just a little while. 

The next day, she woke up a few minutes past eleven, her head pounding as she checked her phone. A few missed calls and texts, including one from you: ‘Hey! Homelander said you were sick. Hope you feel better soon💐’

Between the thought of Homelander being near you and her raging hangover, Maeve leaned over the side of the bed, throwing up into the nearby trash can. She got another text from Ashley, asking if she’d still be able to do her designated crime fighting schedule that night since she was supposed to team up with A-Train. Staring at the text, she grinned, getting out of bed to choke down a few aspirin and make her way to crime analytics.

The department’s office was depressingly dark, and the girl who nervously pulled up the schedule for the next few weeks looked like she hadn’t slept in days. Opening the notes on her phone, she quickly typed what days and times Homelander would be away from the tower. It wasn’t perfect, but it’d do while she figured out how to take control of the situation. 

Your kickboxing lessons with her began a little after seven on a Thursday evening. Maeve had asked you to keep everything under wraps, claiming she didn’t want everyone pestering her to train them. This was a one-off thing because you were friends. She was relieved at how your face lit up when she put it that way.

The whole arrangement made her realize how rusty she was at flirting with someone she was actually interested in, as opposed to the sleazy guys she’d bring up to the tower for one-night stands only to kick them out afterward. Training with you was great, you were eager to learn despite struggling to pick up some of the moves. She took the opportunity to stand close to you, putting her arms over yours and guiding your movements, her body framing yours. Sometimes her hands would linger over your skin, feeling how soft you were against her until she felt you shiver or heard your breath hitch. The physical, intimate closeness drove her crazy. In those moments, she wondered what your whole body felt like, your stomach and thighs surely plush beneath her fingertips.

Things came to a head during your fourth training session. Homelander hadn’t been at the tower for a day or so, and you were acting bolder. There was no way you didn’t catch her staring at the way you bounced around while Heart’s ‘Kick It Out’ blasted from the speakers you’d connected your phone to. She was sure you were doing it on purpose at that point.

“I think I’m almost as good as you,” you joked, beads of sweat rolling down your forehead.

She laughed. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Bring it on!”

Wiping the sweat from your brow, you stood across from her on the training mat. Your stance wasn’t the best, but you were trying despite her dodging your blows with ease. Just because she liked you, it didn’t mean she was going to hand you a win. You were having fun, a smile on your face as she caught your lifted leg before you could really kick.

In any other scenario, she figured you could hold your own pretty well in a fight with a non-supe. You threw a punch which Maeve blocked without so much as blinking. One more time, you went for another kick, only for her to send you flat on your back with a thud.

She pinned you to the mat, the two of you silent except for your breathing. Maeve didn’t do anything but stare at your face, just mere inches from hers for a few moments. God, you were fucking pretty. Your eyes seemed to sparkle despite the harsh gym lighting, and your parted lips were almost calling to her.

“You win,” you said softly from beneath her.

“Do I get a prize?”

“Wanna get drinks after this? On me?”

She smiled, reluctantly getting up from on top of you. “Hope you have your credit card ready.”

You took her outstretched hand, almost surprised at how fluidly she pulled you up onto your feet, until you remembered she was the strongest woman in the world, after all. The fact that she was getting drinks with you was a plus.

“I know a few places in my neighborhood, if you don’t mind going out to Brooklyn,” you said. “They’re kind of dives, but they’re fun.”

“That honestly sounds perfect.”

“Okay. I’m gonna shower and change really quick.”

She nodded. “Take your time.”

As soon as you disappeared into the locker room, Maeve looked down at her costume, internally groaning. It was the furthest thing from inconspicuous. In all honesty, she missed having a secret identity, the small thing that separated her from the persona that Vought manufactured for her. Whether for sentimentality or foolish hope of a situation like this one, she’d kept some of her street clothes. 

Glancing at the locker room again, she decided to rush up to her suite and throw on something that would afford the two of you some privacy. Tapping her foot impatiently, she waited for the elevator doors to open before slipping inside and pressing the button for her floor.

When she reached her suite, she frowned at the selection of clothing in her dresser. Touching one shirt, she felt a lump form in her throat. The somewhat coarse fabric sent memories rushing back, she’d worn it on one of her last dates with Elena, before she handed her whole life over to Vought and Homelander sunk his hooks into her. There was a slight stain on the sleeve, evidence of Elena’s wine glass that had tipped over when some asshole decided to make it clear that he didn’t approve of their date, so he had to make it the whole restaurant’s problem. When he started becoming aggressive, Maeve grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him over, knocking him into at least three other tables with the sheer force she used. That was the catalyst for her initially fake relationship with Homelander, as Vought’s marketing team decided it would improve her image after the incident. 

She exhaled, shaking her head as she tried grounding herself. Things could be different with you. She’d take back control of her life—from Vought, from Homelander, from her own self-sabotage. Her outfit choice for the kind-of-but-not-really date was simple. She ran her fingers through her signature styled waves, messing her hair up a bit to make her less recognizable. Seeing herself in the mirror, she smiled. For the first time in months, she looked and felt like herself.

Her phone buzzed, and to her relief, it was a text from you.

‘Hey! Ready to go when you are🍻’ 

Biting her lip, she retyped her response to you three times before sending, ‘Great be down in a min😄’ 

She instantly regretted her choice of emoji, but it didn’t matter, something that simple wasn’t going to ruin her night. After all, she couldn’t remember the last time she was asked out by someone she actually liked. You hadn’t explicitly said it was a date, but the tension was there, and Maeve hoped to god she wasn’t reading too much into things.

You were waiting in the gym for her, now changed back into your work clothes of a blouse and skirt. In the meantime, you had pulled up the info for some of the bars that you and your friends frequented in your neighborhood. She looked over them quickly, settling on a 70s-themed one you recommended based on the decor and cheap burgers. Her mind raced while the two of you walked down the hall and to the elevator, deciding to leave through a service corridor rather than the building’s main floor.

As the elevator made its descent to the lower levels of the building, Maeve figured she at least owed it to you to let you know what you were getting yourself into. She’d already put you at risk with the amount of time she was spending with you. You looked at her in confusion when she pressed the emergency stop. 

“You know this isn’t just drinks, right?”

You smiled a bit, “What is it then?”

“Y/N, I’m serious,” she said. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Maeve, can you just be real with me instead of the cryptic shit?”

“Fuck," she groaned. "Okay, look. I’m into you, but Homelander’s a jealous son of a bitch who won’t let me have a life, so the fact that we’ve been spending time together and going out for drinks means you’re in serious danger.”

You were quiet for a few moments. She took your silence as an understandable rejection, moving to press the emergency stop button to bring you back up until you spoke. 

“I’ll take the risk.”

“Are you sure? Y/N, Homelander won’t hold back. I’ll do what I can to protect you, but–”

You looked at her, really looked at her, as she laid out the risks for you clear as day. It didn’t matter. You’d come to the conclusion pretty quickly that she was worth it. She was Queen fucking Maeve for Christ’s sake. Most importantly, though, you were into her too, and you’d never forgive yourself for passing up the opportunity to go out with her and see where things led.

As she was in the middle of listing ways Homelander could kill you, you interrupted her with a quick peck on the lips, enough to startle her out of her rant for a moment. That seemed to get the message through, because she kissed you, backing you into the elevator wall across from the closed doors. 

You parted your lips for her, happy to let her take the lead as she cupped your cheek in her hand, her fingers pulling your face closer to her. Even though she’d just pinned you to the floor less than an hour earlier, you were taken aback by how strong she was. She bit gently on your bottom lip, her teeth tugging at it before kissing you again. 

Groping one of your breasts through your blouse, she moved her hand further down your body until she reached your thighs, her fingers gently tracing undistinguishable patterns into your skin. You could feel her start to play with the hem of your skirt before sliding her hand beneath it.

You whispered a soft “yes” against her lips when her fingers brushed against the damp spot on your panties. Pressing her fingers against your core, she watched your face contort in pleasure as you whimpered for more. 

It felt like eternity before she finally pushed her hand past the cotton material and began teasing your clit, ignoring your aching pussy. She pressed hot, open kisses against your skin before settling on the crook of your neck, biting into the tender skin so hard you almost thought it would break. 

“Maeve, fuck,” you moaned.

“Too hard?”

You bit your lip, shaking your head. “Harder.”

Maeve grinned, slipping her index and middle fingers into your pussy, and you were almost embarrassed at how wet you were. She didn’t care, curling her fingers inside you, pumping them in and out until your breath caught in your throat. You gasped as you gripped her shoulders, trying to keep your legs from giving out from under you. Using her other hand, she held you up by your thigh, her fingers squeezing your soft flesh. 

You leaned your head back against the wall, eyes fluttering shut as she began rubbing her thumb against your clit, bringing her attention back to it as your pussy clenched around her fingers. She brought her lips to your ear, her teeth grazing your earlobe before she whispered, “You gonna cum for me, baby?”

“I’m close,” you barely managed to say.

“Don’t hold back. I wanna feel you,” she said, her voice raspy as she squeezed your thigh for emphasis. 

“Fuck–fuck, I’m–”

You came on her hand, fully relying on her strength to keep you up as she kept fingering you through your orgasm. Pressing her lips to yours, you were hardly able to kiss her back as you moaned into her mouth, your fingers clawing at the wall behind you as you tried getting a grip on something.

Finally, she pulled her hand from your pussy, and the one that had been holding you by your thigh wrapped around your waist to support you. She brought her hand to her mouth, licking your juices off of them so casually you wouldn’t have thought anything of it. You kissed her again, feeling lightheaded at the taste of yourself on her lips. Still, you figured someone must have noticed by then that the elevator wasn’t working. You didn’t even want to think about anyone finding you and Maeve like that, especially if Homelander ended up hearing about it through the grapevine.

“My roommate’s working the night shift,” you whispered, your voice noticeably hoarser than before. “I’ve got beer at my place.”

“Fuck the bar,” Maeve said, kissing you again.

You let out a yelp that dissolved into a fit of giggles as she literally swept you off your feet. She smiled, pressing the emergency stop button, sending the two of you back down to the service corridor you’d be slipping out into the night from.

[friendly-witcher]

Damn

just a small spencer x gn reader (I think, tell me if I missed something) ficlet about the first time you see him in his FBI vest. inspo was all the tiktok edits 🔥

word count: <1k

warnings: implied sexual themes set in the finale of season 7. bank heist + bomb threat with Lady X. established relationship with reader, who is a misc. scientist at the Smithsonian (yes I watched too much bones). this is a no maeve zone.

if you like this, I might write a few more with them :)

please be kind, my writing is my own, I do not own these characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your boyfriend is hot, you’ve been well aware of this since the day you bumped into him in the hallway of your apartment building and every day since then. He’s tall, handsome, and has perpetually tousled hair, to say nothing of the fact that he is the smartest person you’ve ever met. He looks like a sexy professor straight out of a romance novel, yet somehow has no idea how gorgeous he is. All of this being said, you were not prepared to see him in your office wearing his usual dress shirt, tie, and his FBI bullet proof vest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ An hour or two before ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer had rushed to the scene after a bomb went off in the bank. He had sent you a brief text saying that he was fine, not to worry, and that he was heading into the city. This was the first time since you had been dating that a high profile case had been this close to home. So while you were used to being worried, this worry felt so much more immediate as you watched the chaos unfold only a mile or two away. 

You stayed in your office trying to concentrate on tables and graphs, but your eyes kept drifting to the news live-stream in the corner of your screen. You heard a quiet knock on the door and looked up to see your colleague Renee eyeing you with concern. 

“Lover Boy is on the scene isn’t he?” She asked, grimacing. 

You nodded, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears that threatened to form. 

Renee perched on your desk and took your hand. “He’s a highly trained FBI genius, he’s going to be ok.” You nodded again, rubbing your face in exasperation. “Let’s go and make a tea.” Pulling you from your desk. You resisted, motioning to the screen. “Watching isn’t going to help him, it’s only going to make you more stressed.” 

“I’m bringing my phone.” You grumbled as you followed Renee to the kitchen. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Emily and Will walked out of Union Station, battered but unscathed, Spencer let out the breath he felt he had been holding in since Will had walked into that bank. 

“We’re ok, we’re ok.” Emily held out her hands as you all rushed towards her. 

“Thanks to Miss Calm and Collected here.” Drawled Will, looking at Emily with a mix of gratitude and disbelief. "She defused a bomb in under two minutes without breaking a sweat."

“Well done. Both of you.” Hotch looked them both over approvingly. “You two go get checked out. I’ve got to debrief with Strauss then we are good to head out.” 

Everyone nodded in agreement, patting each other on the back and inspecting their wounds. Spencer hung back and looked at his phone, “Actually guys, I have to go check on something…” not meeting any of their curious gazes, “I’ll catch up with you guys later. If that’s ok?” 

Hotch nodded, dismissing him. “Good work today.”

“Catch you later, Pretty Boy.” Derek winked at him and turned to walk away. 

Spencer looked back down at his phone at the message, “Please be careful, I love you.” You had never said that before. He had suspected that you did love him for a while, but this was the first irrefutable evidence. He smiled and started towards where he knew you would be waiting. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Spencer often dropped you outside work or met you nearby for lunch, he had never actually been to your office. He came through the doors slightly out of breath, “Do you know where I would find Dr Y/N L/N’s office?” 

As he strode through the corridors of the Smithsonian Institute trying to find your office he noticed he was drawing quite a few stares. Ignoring this, he finally reached your door. Where he found you with your head resting on your arms, a forgotten cup of tea beside you. 

He knocked on the door gently and you started to say, “Renee I’m fi- ” until you finally looked up and saw Spencer standing in the doorway. Your face broke into a smile, “Spencer!” 

Your eyes raked over him as he approached, unscathed, and damn. You had thought the men-in-uniform thing was a joke but looking at Spencer now you got it, picking your jaw off the ground you barrelled into his arms. 

“Are you all right?” He asked, turning your face to examine your features. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine now,” squeezing him tighter and smiling up at him. He looked at you amused and curious. 

“What was that face? Was it about the text?” Concern marring his beautiful face. 

“Honey, no! I meant that…I just…” you blushed, “I’ve never seen you in this…” your hands tracing across his chest adorned with the letters ‘FBI’. 

“I did get a lot of funny looks walking over here,” his brow furrowed, “I’m sorry I should have taken it off. I just wanted to see you and forgot.” He shook his head, admonishing himself. 

Looking up at him you continued trying to stifle a giggle, “Spencer, you sweet beautiful genius,” you said as you cupped his face, “They weren’t looking at you funny. You look, how should I put it, smoking hot. Like an actual real life superhero.”

It was his turn to blush and he tried to disagree with you, but met with your adoring gaze he stayed quiet and grinned. He gently pressed his lips to yours then met your eyes, “By the way, I love you too.” You kissed him again, smiling. 

“Come on, let me take you home.” He picked up your bag and extended a hand to you. 

“Yes please, Dr FBI agent.” Taking his hand and smirking at him. 

“So I should wear the vest more often?” He asked innocently.

“Definitely.” 

[pepsiboyy]

starboy part 4 (final <3)

P1 P2 P3 P4

pairing: y/n x chris sturniolo

summary: y/n, born and raised in los angeles, moves across the country to boston. when she feels like she has nobody, she makes some new friends at her new job. she grows particularly close with the sturniolo triplets, where she finds a lot in common with one of them.

warnings: some fluff, angst, LOTS of cursing, and bullying :p

lowercase intentional!!!

author's note: HIII sorry i took a few days to myself to like. play video games idk that's my excuse my bad yall but FINAL PARTTT yayyy

i took a deep breath as my arms were practically wrapped around myself. i stared at the star market sign and bit my lip, slowly stepping through the automatic doors.

i quickly made my way to the customer service counter, where i saw matt clocking out. he turned to me and his eyes immediately softened. "hey, y/n," he breathed, stepping towards me.

i smiled quickly and half-heartedly before taking his spot and clocking in.

"are you okay? you left real fast yesterday, and.. i don't know, chris said he tried to reach out and-"

"yeah, i fell asleep. i didn't feel good," i mumbled, biting my lip as i tried not to let any sadness show in my expression. i turned to matt and smiled softly. "sorry for leaving so sudden. i just felt.. unwell," i mumbled.

matt slowly nodded and smiled softly. "okay, if you insist... i just want to be able to be a friend to you, nick does too, and especially chris." he chuckled. all i could do was look at him, but it looked more like i was looking through him and spacing out. matt's smile fell as he sighed. "chris also mentioned that when you guys were sitting, he got a notification from-"

"damn, y/n is here again today?" maeve's voice rang as she set her bag down and practically shoved me to the side to clock in. "guess i gotta do everything around here today." she mumbled as she side-eyed me, and i bit my lip. i couldn't do this today.

"maeve, you can't talk to her like that, she's still learning." matt told her, softly but very clearly as he sighed and gathered his things. "y/n, if you need anything, or just somebody to talk to, please reach out, okay?" he asked, and looked at me for any form of response.

"right, yeah. thanks, matt." i breathed, and he smiled at my response before stepping towards the exit.

i turned to maeve and bit my lip as she scrolled through her phone and applied pink lip gloss against her lips. she was stunning, and i was a bit envious of her long, blonde hair. i closed my eyes and let out a sigh, looking at my phone. i was a bit surprised to see some messages from who i had been dreading to see all day, and who i had hoped would have left with matt.

from: chris⭐ hey y/n, hope your shift goes well

i shuttered as i looked up at maeve. what if she was actively texting him? i turned to look around the store the best i can, and i saw chris pushing some carts inside.

damn, he was really still here.

i let out a breath as i began to straighten up around my department, seeing as it was a slow day and maeve was no help.

-

i sat in the breakroom as i stared at the wall. no music played in my ears, and nobody else sat in the room with me. i simply stared at the wall for my break. i sat and thought about all of the glances i had passed to chris, and how many times i caught him looking back. i also watched him and maeve talk quite often, which would cause my heart to clench each and every time. it didn't make sense to me. why did he pretend to care so much about me when he clearly had maeve?

"hi chris!" maeve smiled brightly and leaned against the counter to be closer to him, who was just trying to walk by and pick up a box of items.

"hey, maeve," he breathed, and she practically squealed at him, causing me to turn my head the other day and practically wince.

"whatcha got planned tonight? did you wanna go out?" maeve asked, which resulted in some silence and a deep breath.

"i'm busy tonight." he mumbled.

my back was still turned as i went through another box.

"i'm taking my fifteen, maeve. i'll be back." i breathed before swinging around on my heel and shoving past them both.

and that was why i was sitting against this worn down couch, staring at the wall. it made no sense to me. none of it.

after about thirteen minutes passed, i sighed and stood up to begin collecting my things and getting ready to head back out.

the door swung open.

"y/n, hey can we talk?" chris breathed, and i turned to the sudden sound of the door opening. since it was silent in the room, it scared me a bit more than i would have liked to admit.

"my fifteen is up, sorry." i breathed and attempted to walk past him.

i felt a hand against my own, before i turned to chris and bit my lip. facing him was really hard. my eyes welled up almost immediately, and chris picked up on it very quickly. worry rushed through his expression.

"after we close. please?" chris asked, carefully letting my arm go. i slowly nodded before i pulled away. i stood for a few moments, looking at him, biting my lip and then walking back towards the exit.

"thank fuck. about time. what were you even doing in there anyway?" maeve spat, and i turned to her. this really was not the time for her to speak to me that way, and in fact, it never was the time. "i had to deal with literally four people when you were gone. all by myself. can you do something for once and clean the place up?"

i bit my lip as i stared at her. part of me wanted to confront her, call her out and tell her that she was no help and incredibly lazy. another part of me wanted to beat her ass right then and there, but the other part of me knew that if i started any work drama, i could potentially get fired and i should keep my mouth shut.

i took in a deep breath.

"i'll get on it," i replied, moving to grab a broom.

-

11:30pm. only thirty more minutes before i had to talk with chris in the parking lot. and only thirty more minutes that i had to deal with maeve any longer.

"y/n, these don't go here. god, do you do anything right?" she muttered as she pulled out a roll of receipt paper, and i stopped what i was doing. i carefully stood up and let out a soft sigh.

"sorry, maeve. nobody told me where those go." i responded under my breath.

maeve was sitting against the counter now, looking at herself in her phone camera and once again applying lip gloss to her lips.

i watched her for a few moments before going to grab a box. it ripped, and collapsed directly into my foot and caused a loud bang.

"ow, fuck," i breathed, biting my lip as i looked down at my foot, and then at the mess i had created. stupid box.

"y/n, are you kidding me? this just adds to the list of things we have to clean up. why are you so clumsy?" she asked.

i had enough.

"can you shut the fuck up?" i spat, causing her to cover her mouth in shock. i scoffed. "all you fucking do is sit there on your goddamn phone. i have done everything today, and you left me the other day. you haven't trained me yet you expect me to know everything around here. why are you such a fucking bitch?" i raised my voice, now visibly shaking with anger. my face was red, and i felt tears brimming my eyes. "i've worked like three shifts here and you treat me like this? name one thing you've done today." i questioned, and she visibly stuttered.

"absolutely nothing," a voice rang as i looked over and saw chris standing there. "she's done nothing but text me all day."

i cringed slightly. nice way to top it off.

"but chrissy-" maeve started, to which chris immediately stopped her.

"i told you to stop calling me that, it's annoying." he muttered before he stepped towards me and began picking some of the things up that i had dropped. my face scrunched a bit in confusion as i tried to piece together what he had said.

maeve seemed to hurt, but she put on a stupid face and quickly yet sloppily grabbed her things before she stomped away to clock out.

i took in a deep breath and sighed, looking over at chris who had now finished picking everything up. "thanks.. for doing that. you didn't have to." i mumbled, looking to the side.

chris didn't respond. he stood up and looked at me, smiling like a little kid. "that was fucking awesome, didn't know you had it in you to talk like that to someone, especially on the clock?"

i smiled shyly and looked down before rubbing my eyes and chuckling slightly. "she was just getting on my nerves..."

"she does for everyone, y/n. i promise. it's okay." he breathed, and i looked at him with a soft nod. "is your foot okay?" he asked, and i shrugged.

"it's fine, i guess. hurts, but i'll live."

"i'll walk you home." chris responded, very quickly, as i looked at him and smiled softly.

"whatever you say."

-

the air was kind of heavy, if i were being honest. it was hard to even think about everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

"y/n?"

i turned to chris as he called my name, and bit my lip. it was time to finally talk about everything.

"can you tell me what's up? why you left so suddenly last night, why you haven't answered my texts, what's wrong?" he questioned, as i simply walked beside him and let out a deep sigh.

"i just..." i took in a deep breath. i stopped walking and turned to chris. "when i moved here, i thought i had nobody. some people would be excited for a fresh start, but i dreaded every moment here. i met you, matt and nick, and realized that things may not be so bad here. especially when i'm with you," i whispered the last part, looking down at my feet.

chris had stopped walking as well, looking at me and nodding softly as he listened closely.

"after we had hung out, i truly thought that maybe i saw you as something more, and when we sat together at your place, i kind of knew from there that i for sure had something more than just the friendly thought of you." i smiled softly, and he nodded, knowing where i was going. "i like you a lot chris, i did from the moment we walked together to mcdonalds and the feelings i had for you, i thought were mutual. but then you got that text on your phone from maeve, and-"

"y/n," he breathed, stepping towards me.

i bit my lip and looked up at him, and he immediately shook his head.

"no." he almost laughed out, and i tilted my head. nothing was funny to me right now. "i don't know how she got me number. genuinely. that's reason one as to why i don't like her. reason two, she's an asshole. and reason three," he smiled softly at me as he gently brushed a few loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

with a soft lean forward and a slight tilt of the head, chris had pressed his lips to mine. i closed my eyes and leaned into the kiss, smiling softly against him. he smiled as well before carefully pulling away and moving his hands to carefully grasp mine.

"i like you."

i smiled softly and looked up at him. as we stood on the sidewalk and stared at each other, i bit my lip and shyly looked down before wrapping my arms tightly around him. "i'm sorry.." i whispered, and chris chuckled.

he wrapped his arms around me and gently rubbed my back, carefully swaying us both. he rested his head on top of mine.

"don't be sorry. you had every right to be confused and frustrated." he gently pulled away and looked at me before he carefully took my hand in his.

our fingers intertwined, as we began walking again.

"let's get you home."

HIIII HELLO THIS WAS A SHORT FANFIC BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS LIEKD ITTTTT IT'S MY FIRST THING ON TUMBLR !!!!

i am working on a matt fanfic rnnnn it'll be so awesome sauce, go read the teaser if you haven't already!!

taglist;;

@sweetbabydoe @orangeypepsi @sturniolosreads

[theoats99]

Thanksgiving - Simon Kelleher

Summary - It's Thanksgiving, and spending alone is hard. But when Simon comes to visit you don't feel so lonely anymore.

Word count: 2,347

Nots - I totally meant to get this out on Thanksgiving, but life and word totally got in the way of my plans. This does tie into my last piece Holiday Blues, just a few references.

Today is Thanksgiving, and I’m all alone. Janae is with her family, then to Meave’s, and Simon hasn’t texted her since his mothers party started. I’d found out that not only were some of the higher up politicians invited, but so were a lot of his family from out of town and state.

And here I am, laying on my couch with my cats, feeling every ounce of loneliness. My brother won’t be home till close to nine, so dinner is all on my shoulders, but I don’t feel hungry. The show currently playing is showing a romance, the two actors kiss and it reminds me of how Simon kissed me just two days ago. The fire in it, the chaotic need in it.

It’s currently three pm, and I’m currently four seasons into my binge, a successful day of being a couch potato I think to myself. I checked my phone on the table, but still no messages. I’d messaged Simon earlier in the morning, telling him he’d make it through the party no problem, but still he hadn’t responded.

So with a heavy sigh, and heavier heart I turn myself back to my show. But then someone knocks on the front door, and I feel my hair raise. I sneak over to the door and look into the peep hole, and I’m met with Janae on the other end. Once the door is open she’s all big wide smiles, and she’s holding a plate.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” She brings me into a hug, which I return gladly. “I brought you some leftovers from Maeve’s.” 

“Thank you Janae, really. This is amazing, how was it with her parents?” She enters and I close the door, I unwrap the plate and it has all the stables of a Thanksgiving dinner.

“It was good with her parents, but her sister was kinda weird around me.” Janae shrugs, and immediately goes to the cats. 

“Ahh, I see what you're really here for. You're using me for my cats, it’s okay I understand.” She laughs at me.

“Oh yeah totally, like I totally knew you had the cutest cats when we first became friends.”

“So, have you heard anything from Simon today?” I ask, she looks back at me and shakes her head.

“No, you?” I ditto her, and she frowns. “I’m sure he’s fine, you know Simon. He gets a little overdramatic, it’s probably going okay.”

“I hope you're right, I’m worried about him, Janae. He was so weird on Tuesday, just not really himself, even when we came back here he was different.” She raises her brows at me. 

“You guys came back here? You and Simon had some alone time here?” She’s all smiles, teasing me. 

“Laugh all you want Janae, but I’m serious. And does he know that guy from the football team? I think his name is Jake.” She gets solemn then.  

“Jake? Yeah Simon knows him. Why?”

“Well, I was waiting for him by his car on Tuesday and I watched him talk to him for a bit. Do you think it’s something for About That?” Janae shakes her head again.

“No, I doubt it. They used to be really close friends. But then Jake drifted away I guess. That’s what Simon said, that he got super popular and Simon wasn’t so they just broke apart.” I frown too.

“That’s horrible, I wonder what they talked about.” I’m more musing to myself outloud than to her. 

“Beats me, but I came to bring that to you and of course see the cats. But I gotta get back to my place. My family is coming.” She hugs me one more time before we bid each other farewell. 

Once she’s gone I enjoy the food she brought me. I shoot Maeve a thank you text for the food, which she immediately responds to me with ‘no problem!’. Back to my couch and nearly done with my fourth season, another knock is heard. I check my phone and it’s nearly seven pm.

I again sneak to the door, and through the peephole I see Simon this time. I’m suddenly very aware of how little I’m wearing. In my sleep shorts, and large ratty shirt. I’m not ever wearing a bra, and I can’t imagine I look presentable. 

“Y/N?” His voice breaks me out of my mind. I don’t even think before I unlock and open the door to him, like it's a habit, and I’m struck by the same thoughts of my appearance. Simon though looks good, he’s in a dark blue button up and dress pants, he even has a tie on.

“Hi.” I greet him with a smile. 

“Hey.” He greets back, I close the door behind him. And he takes no time in weaving his fingers into my hair, and kissing me there. It’s the same as the other day, chaotic and messy. The surprise makes my head spin and I barely have time to register what’s happening before the kiss is over and he wraps his arms around me.

“The party was horrible, my family sucks.” He murmurs into my shoulder, his tone reminds me of a child complaining, and I still haven’t completely recovered from the kiss. I rub my palm up and down his back absentmindedly, and my slumps against me more. 

“I’m sorry to hear that, it’s over now though. You made it.” He says something but it’s lost in my shoulder. He pulls back to look at me.

“I would have rather been here, I really tried to get my mom to let me skip it.” 

“I know you did, but sometimes we have to do things for our family.” I reassure him, he’s not satisfied with it. 

“I hate it.” I laugh at him, and it seems to perk him up. “What have you been up to today?”

“Absolutely nothing, I’ve been binge watching a show, and then Janae came by with some food from Meave’s.” He nods, I take his hand and we go over to the couch. “You look handsome at least.” I watch him flush a bit.

“You look comfy, the complete opposite of how I’ve felt all day.” 

“I’m sorry, but you can be comfy now at least. This apartment is all about comfort.” I joked to him, he huffed a laugh before ridding himself of his tie.

“What are you even watching?” He scrunches his nose at the tv, an action I’ve always adored on him. 

“It’s a crime show, my favorite.” He watches the tv. And I make myself comfy again under the blanket on the couch, I lift the blanket to indicate him to join me and he takes no time to scoot closer to me under the blanket.

Were touching, and it’s something I hadn’t considered. Having him under the blanket, I can feel the smooth fabric of his pants against my bare thigh, and it’s suddenly all I can think about. 

“Did you have any fun at the party?” He looks down at me and shrugs. 

“I mean there were some moments where it wasn’t completely horrible. Like I talked to some cousins, that wasn’t horrible.” I nod. “And I talked to some journalist, he was funny.”

“Well I’m glad you at least had some fun.” I smile, and he’s just staring down at me. “What?” I feel like he’s scrutinizing my entire being with the look on his face.

“It’s just I wish I’d been here.” I feel my heart trump against my ribs.

“I wish you’d been here too, but there wasn’t anything we could do about it.” I grab his hand and run my thumb over his knuckles to reassure him again. This time I see it coming when he kisses me, it’s soft this time and when I go to break it he won’t let go.

His grip on my hand tightens and he tugs my hand in his direction to keep me in place as he keeps kissing me, and I feel like how I did the other day. Like my whole body is on fire, and when we break apart I again feel like I’m out of breath as he rests his forehead against mine.

I close my eyes and listen to the tv to calm my racing heart down, I focus into what the characters are saying, the sounds of guns firing and sirens roaring. Simon seems content to not allow my heart a break, he brings one of his hands to my jaw and his fingertips travel the line of my jaw from one side of my face to the other. I feel my breath quicken again, it feels like he’s doing it all on purpose.

“You're not being fair.” I whisper to him, my eyes are still closed.

“Hm? How so.” His voice is low, and just as quiet as mine was. 

“Because you're trying to make me flustered.” He laughs.

“Me? I would never.” I laugh this time, and I open my eyes to look at him. I’m met with his face, flushed as well, his eyes are also closed. He looks so peaceful like this, a little smile on his lips. When he opens his he’s looking right into my own, and for what feels like hours we stay like that, just looking into each other's eyes.

“Don’t be coy mister, you know exactly what you're doing.” He’s leaning in again.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He says it nearly directly on my own lips. I feel his fingers move from my jaw to my neck and it makes me shiver. This time I start the kiss, and it’s slow again, until he puts his hands into my hair again. It becomes more then, not the messy kind from earlier or even the kiss from Tuesday. This kiss is just deeper, but it makes my head spin all the same as the others did.

I wrap my hands around his wrist, and he’s pushing for me to lean back and I let him. The blanket falls to the floor as I lean back, then he’s on me. He’s nearly as warm as the blanket was, the kiss keeps the same rhythm as it had before. I feel like I’m floating as one of his hands goes down to my waist, it makes my breath hitch. He pulls back then, he looks down at me as I’m trying to catch my breath.

“Is this okay?” 

“Yes.” It comes out immediately, I just want to keep kissing him. I take my hand from his back to his jaw and mirror what he had been doing to me just moments before. He shudders and his face leans into my fingertips. 

“Now you’re the one not playing fair.”

“Hm? How so?” I parrot back to him, and he narrows his eyes down at me. 

“You just think you’re so cute.” He jests to me, I smile.

“I don’t, I’m just giving you back what you gave me.” 

“Well I do it better than you do.” 

“Kissing? Yeah you kiss better than me, that I won’t argue.” My fingers are tracing down his neck now, and I trace the collar of his shirt and allow my fingers to dip into it. His skin is hot, and his chest is heaving, once my fingers trace his collarbone he closes his eyes.

I feel powerful like this, usually he’s the one putting me on edge, making my brain frazzle into nothing. To see him lose himself gives me a sense of pride. He moves his hand over my stomach over my shirt, I feel his fingers move to the bottom and they slip under the fabric to the skin of my sides.

He’s turned the tables again, now I’m breathing as heavy as he is. I trail my fingers back to his head and rest them against the back of his head, I run them through his hair, it’s softer than I could have imagined. His own fingers keep tracing the same pattern against my skin, I tug the hair on the back of his neck and something happens.

I feel his hips jut, and he makes a sound. One similar to the one I had made for him, it makes my eyes go wide and a gasp slips out. The sound sends something straight through my entire body, and the feeling of him against my thigh sends it again ten fold. 

He’s off of me in seconds and I feel the cool air rush against my flush skin, his own eyes wide and erratic. He looks down at me, it doesn’t last long before he darts them away again, he stares at the wall behind me. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, he glances back down at me and I see his breath hitch. I’m on my elbows leaning up to look at him. He shuts his eyes.

“Yeah I’m good, I mean I’m fine. I just need a second.” I take the time to look at him, he’s still on top of me, just up on his knees. I can see him through his pants, I shut my eyes too, letting myself back down on the couch. He’s just as bothered by all this as I am.

“Yeah, me too” I say, still trying to catch my own breath. When I open my eyes his are still shut, I nudge him with my knee and he looks at me again. “What's wrong?” 

He looks conflicted, his eyes making their way over my entire form. 

“I don’t want you to think I’m a creep.” The confession brings a flush to his cheeks. 

“Why would I think you’re a creep?”

“Because I got.” He pauses and whatever he wants to say won’t come out. “Because I got all, I don’t know, bothered.” He’s beet red after he’s done, it gives me the courage.

“Well, I am too. But that doesn’t make me a creep.” I tell him, his eyes snap to my face. 

“You are?” I nod. “I guess we’re both creeps then.”

[writtenonreceipts]

Rowaelin Month Day Twenty-Seven: Touch Starved @rowaelinscourt

Link to Month Masterlist

Guess who is back on her regularly scheduled angsty angst? It’s me. 

Warnings: mentions of a arent death. Hurt/comfort in the form of grief.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

All Your Ways, All Your Thunder

The changing seasons always had a way of leaving a brand of melancholy on Rowan’s soul.  He never knew exactly what it was or why it came, but when the days began to grow shorter and cooler…Rowan’s own mood would shift completely and he found himself drowning in the past.

No matter what he did or how he prepared--he never was ready for it to happen.

He didn’t know who he could talk to or how he could explain it.  He’d never been allowed to express these thoughts, his feelings when he was growing up.  His da had never been the emotional type and his mother always thought he was the perfect child who never struggled.  And as he’d grown up, trying to express himself and actually talk had never come easily.  

And today with that distinct chill crawling through the air and the fact that it was the two-year anniversary of his da passing—Rowan figured it was as good a day as any to wallow.  That’s what people did, wasn’t it?  They’d let themselves collapse beneath the weight of it all and dwell on how miserable things had become.  And then the feelings would pass and it would be alright.

So, Rowan returned to his apartment after a particularly long day at work and dropped onto his couch as he waited for the past to wash over him.

Only…it never came.

He could feel it burrowed beneath his chest, right next to his heart.  And slowly it leeched into his lungs.  But all it did was linger right on the cusp of his brain.

And all there was, was silence.

He wasn’t sure how long he lay there, sprawled out on the couch with one arm thrown over his head.  But it was long enough for the shadows of the living room to shift and the room to darken.  He knew he should get up and eat dinner.  Maybe he’d order take out so he wouldn’t have to think about anything or actually get up.

What he did know was that he had to do something to fix this mood.  It wouldn’t do well to wallow in his own misery.

Sighing, Rowan fumbled for his phone that had dropped on the floor.  He found there was already a missed message from Aelin that had him loosing a breath of relief.

>>Aelin: i hate fenrys

>>Aelin: he stole the chocolate i was saving for after my meeting with maeve this afternoon

>>Aelin: and ate it in front of me

>>Aelin: may end up murdering him

Rowan smiled at the messages, already feeling better at just seeing her name.  It was simple, and maybe a little stupid, but he could feel the wariness of the day sifting away.

Another message came in.

>>Aelin: what r you doing tonight?

He could lie and tell her he was busy.  Caught up in case notes or meetings.  Or say he was at the gym. Or--

<<Rowan: nothing 

<<Rowan: come over?

>>Aelin: be there in twenty.

…

In the five years of knowing Aelin Galathynius, four of those had been spent in animosity.  Between her arrogance, his pride, and the underlying mutual hatred that bloomed from nothing more than meeting at the wrong time—Rowan and Aelin could never manage to stand in the same room together, let alone have a civil conversation

Until one night with too much alcohol and just enough loosened inhibitions.  It wasn’t supposed to be anything more than that.  They’d said it wouldn’t happen again, that they’d both been lonely, the tequila was to blame.

And then it did.  

After six months of sneaking around, they’d almost gotten caught a few times.  And considering how stubborn they both were, they didn’t want to admit to their friends that they were dating.  If that was what you’d call this.  Rowan wasn’t seeing anyone else and he knew she wasn’t either.  They spent most weekends together and texted entirely too much.  But they’d never labeled what they were.  And it had never really bothered Rowan, hell his track record with relationships was a joke that labels were hardly worth it.

Eventually, Rowan forced himself off of the couch and managed to change into sweats and a t-shirt.  No use for Aelin seeing him in such a state.  He didn’t expect anything out of the night and knew that she didn’t either.  They’d eat and then end up watching Netflix or busting out the PlayStation.  Aelin was extremely competitive when it came to Mario Kart.

When Aelin arrived twenty-five minutes later, she let herself in using a key he had given her.  It had been a random thing he hadn’t thought about—she’d needed a place to stay while her apartment was getting renovations done and his place was closer to her work—and he’d just never asked for the key back.

“I brought pizza!” Aelin announced.  The heels she wore clicked soundly on the hardwood. “I know it’s not part of your meal plan, but it sounded good.”

Rowan, who found himself back on the couch, laughed humorlessly. “You got extra cheese, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” Aelin said. “And then I got that chicken and artichoke thing you like on thin crust.  Honestly, it’s not pizza at that point, buzzard.”

He watched as she set the pizza boxes on his kitchen table, kicking off her shoes so they were right in the middle of the floor.  Her tight, red pencil skirt hugged her curves perfectly, the black blouse hanging neatly and only emphasizing her golden skin.  Even on a random weekday, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“Maeve sent out assignments for that new project,” Aelin said as she grabbed plates and a roll of paper towels from the cupboard. “Stuck me with Kaltain and Graves.  So you know I’m going to get stuck with all the work.”

Rowan listened as she talked and bounced around the kitchen.  She was so at home being there, as if it were second nature to make sure the fridge shut properly or the one drawer didn’t catch when you opened it a certain way.

She portioned out a few slices for each of them and brought soda and the paper towel over to the couch with her.

“Thanks,” Rowan said, accepting his plate from her.

Aelin settled beside him, tucking her feet up on the coffee table.  Already she was taking a massive bite of her pepperoni and mushroom with extra cheese.  

“Howwasurda?” she asked around her mouthful of pizza.

Rowan rolled his eyes and threw a paper towel at her. “Fine.  Nothing terrible.”

In truth, most of the day was a blur.  He’d been so caught up in his own thoughts, his own worries, that he really hadn’t noticed if it had been good or bad.  Though, he’d left his office door closed and ignored his phone for most of it so that had to help.

Aelin pursed her lips but didn’t press the issue.

He knew he shouldn’t have invited her over if he wasn’t even going to try and talk to her, knew that just sitting in silence wasn’t her idea of a good time, but even just having her near was enough to make him feel better.

He knew he could have gone to the bar and Lorcan, Fenrys, and the others would have joined him without hesitation.  He would have gotten tipsy enough to forget what day it was and that would have been more than fine with him.  Today was not a day he wanted to endure sober, but he’d done it.  Forced to relive memory after memory of his dad and wonder what he could have done differently as a son.  It wasn’t a good spiral to go down and would have been much more enjoyable if accompanied by Fenrys doing something stupid to distract him or Lorcan who would just keep sliding him beer the moment he knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” Aelin whispered after a long stretched of silence.  She reached a hand across the couch to brush through his hair, clearing the messy strands from his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Unconsciously, Rowan leaned into touch.  It had only been two days since they’d last been together but her touch was so gentle and easy that he fell into it easily.

“Nothing,” he said, even though the lie was far to easy to spot.

“You had a bad day?” Her fingers trailed down his cheek to his jaw and it would have been so easy to melt against her.

He didn’t know how to tell her everything that was on his mind.  Didn’t want to say it was the anniversary of his dad passing or that he just wanted to touch her, to linger in this moment a little while longer.  It all just felt too heavy on his tongue, so Rowan shrugged in response.

Aelin didn’t seem to like that.  She gathered the empty plates and wadded up paper towels and tossed them onto the coffee table.  And then before Rowan could ask what she was doing, Aelin grabbed his arm and pulled him toward her.

“C’mere,” she said.  She made no room for arguments as she kept him close, curling against him even until her skirt and blouse were askew.

Aelin said nothing else as she wrapped her arms around him, one hand burrowing in his hair and the other running patterns against the skin of his neck.  She even hooked one knee around his hip until they were utterly flush against each other, curled on the couch in the dying light of dusk.

Rowan was certain he was smothering Aelin but she wouldn’t let him move.  All she did was continue to hold him, one hand ticking softly at the nape of his neck.  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been held like this, the last time he’d felt this level of comfort.

“It’s alright,” Aelin murmured. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

She didn’t know it, but those were the exact words his mother had told him the day of the funeral, the day they’d gone to pick up his father’s ashes, the day they’d sat in the car staring out at the dense forest trying to decide how you mourned the end of a life and how you moved on from it.

Rowan couldn’t help the shuddering breath the rippled through him as he wrapped his own arms around Aelin, crushing her to him.  She didn’t mind though.  Not as he pressed his face to the crook of her neck and pulled her blouse out of her skirt so he could reach her bare skin.  She didn’t mind as he held on as though she were his lifeline.

He didn’t know if they would talk about it later, didn’t know what he would say if they did.  But for that moment, Rowan let himself remain wrapped in her, this woman who had come to mean more to him than he could even begin to describe.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

tags are dumb as per usual

[downthe-f4ndom-rabbith0le]

The Way Back Home (Spencer Reid x Reader) - Chapter Three

The Way Back Home (Spencer Reid x Reader) - Chapter Three Reader Insert: she/her pronouns Word Count: 3173 Warnings: major angst, major fluff, mentions of murder, graphic descriptions of dead bodies, crime scenes, near-death experiences, slow-burnish romance, death, canon violence, rape, swearing, guns, knives, prostitution, canon cuteness of the team. Spoilers: Maeve's death, mentions of previous cases or canon events from seasons 1-10.

Spencer and you have an unspoken connection with one another. Nothing has ever happened between you two, especially since everything went down with Maeve, but your love has grown and overcome and is now clear as day to everyone. However, just when Spencer builds up enough courage to ask you out officially, you're requested on an undercover mission that halts your budding relationship in its tracks.

Months go by without a word from you until bodies of prostitutes start showing up in New York and the BAU is brought in to help. Spencer and you finally reunite as both your cases collide, but your lives and your love are both on the line now.

Will you and Spencer be able to find the way back home this time?

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Epilogue

~~~

Spencer stared hard at the map of Manhattan that was pinned to the board, eyes flickering between each location the bodies were found at. He'd circled them, hoping to visualise some sort of map or pattern between the kill spots, but nothing emerged to his despair.

He sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. The team had gone to their hotel soon after his outburst at Holt, but he'd been back in since around six o'clock. He checked his wristwatch. Quarter-to-eight it read.

'You're in early.'

Spencer swivelled around at the sound of Hotch entering the room, the rest of team following closely behind. JJ held two coffees in hand, walking around the big table in the middle of the room to hand one to him. He didnt know how JJ knew he needed the caffeine, but he smiled gratefully nonetheless and took the hot brew from her hands.

'Yeah,' he said after a deep sip, scrunching his nose slightly at the slight bitter taste he detected. It was sweet, but not sweet enough. 'I... couldn't sleep.'

How could he, when his whole world had been turned upside down in the span of a couple of hours? You were risking your life - had been for eleven months already. He wanted this case to be over, and sleeping in his uncomfortable hotel bed while you were constantly looking over your shoulder was not going to help make that happen.

The way his friends looked at him now only confirmed that he looked a little worse for wear. But before anyone could comment, Hotch intervened.

'Where are we on the unsub's comfort zone, Reid?' Hotch asked, looking at the map over Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer was grateful for the change in topic, and turned around to point at the map with one hand, the other still cradling his coffee. 'I marked out where each body was found in relation to their establishment,' he explained, pointing at each marked spot for emphasis. 'Unfortunately, they range from up to downtown, even the Upper Eastside to SoHo. Geography doesn't seem to be a factor in the killings. What does seem to be a factor, however, is that all the other girls, like Roxy, were killed either outside or not far from where they worked.'

'That could speak to the unsub wanting to deliver a message,' JJ suggested. 'If the unsub is someone who has been double-crossed by these girls or the establishments, maybe their deaths are a warning.'

'Penelope said she couldn't find anything on these girls prior to their employment,' Kate said, reading a text off her phone no doubt from the technical analyst herself. 'Y/N's intel was correct. These girls were like ghosts, but like, before they had a life.'

'They had to have come from somewhere,' Rossi said. 'They couldn't have just... invented these girls.'

'No...' Derek trailed off, hand reaching for his jean pocket. '...but they can be reinvented.'

'What do you mean?' JJ asked, but Spencer's brain worked faster than Derek's mouth.

'From the initial notes from each body find, we know all girls were quite loyal and involved with the establishment's business,' Spencer answered, feeling reinvigorated suddenly. Or maybe that was just the coffee. 'They would've had to have been isolated for a few years prior to their re-emergence back into society to be that conditioned to their owner's orders.'

'Most of these girls were around seventeen and eighteen when they started working,' Kate said. 'That's when girls usually establish their independence from families.'

'But these girls have stayed as they've entered their twenties,' Hotch noted.

'Which means they would've been taken away from society before they could figure out how to be independent.' Derek's finger pressed a speed dial button - the first person on Derek Morgan's list for all things knowledgeable.

'Greetings my love,' Penelope greeted, her perkiness like another shot of espresso in Spencer's system. 'Did you see my good morning text with all my notes - and by all of them, I mean nothing - on the girls' history? Sent with love.'

'We did, baby girl,' he answered. 'But we might have a new lead to go on and we need your help.'

'You've rubbed the lamp, and as the genie I am now at your command. What do you need to know?'

'See if you can find any missing child records from over the last decade, particularly girls,' Derek said.

'They might not be made by parents, per say,' Spencer quickly added. 'The seller is choosing girls he knows people won't look too hard for. They'll be low-risk victims, so look up any mysterious disappearances from homeless communities and even unofficial orphanages and shelters in the New York state.'

'Boy Wonder, you certainly live up to your name,' Penelope quipped, the soft pattering of her frantic typing filling the room for a moment before she stopped. 'Aha! There have been over fifty girls who've gone missing over the past decade that fit those perimeters. I almost missed some of them because they weren't officially reported, but they popped up in local newspaper adverts noting certain kids in their community had been missing for a while. I've just sent a list of places they all went missing from to your phones.'

Another flurry of fingers flying over her keyboard and she spoke again. 'And if you look at your tablets, you will find the picture a young girl, aged twelve, gone missing from a trip to an aquarium with her orphanage. A Missy Wright. She had a record for running away and hiding, so when she wasn't found after twenty four hours, police disbanded the search party and declared her a runaway. But does she look familiar at all to you?'

Spencer looked over JJ's shoulder as she looked at her own tablet, seeing the similarities before anyone else did. 'That's Roxy Vega,' he said.

'I'm running out of gold stars to give you, Boy Wonder,' Penelope quipped. 'I'll try and find more pictures of the dead girls and match them with any of the missing girls on my list.'

'Thank you mama, you're best,' Derek said.

'I know, sugar,' Penelope replied before ending the call promptly.

'Let's go talk to those establishments, particularly Roxy's old orphanage,' Hotch announced. 'Let's cover as many as we can by splitting up. Spencer and JJ, Derek and Kate, and Dave you're with me.'

Kate squinted at her phone, eyebrows furrowing in distress. 'There are over thirty addresses here. And they're spread all over the New York state. This could take days.'

'I'll get local police as well as Holt's team to help,' Hotch replied. 'We find out who these girls were before they were abducted, we find out how the unsub finds them.'

'Then we can find him,' Rossi added with an assertive nod. 'All right then, let's get going. We're burning daylight.'

Spencer downed the rest of his coffee then grabbed his satchel and suit jacket and scrambled after his team. Before he left, he turned back to the board, to the marked map and the pictures of the managers and the mutilated girls. Girls who died as different people to who they were born as.

We will find you, he silently vowed, and followed his team out the door.

~~~

The pounding music of the Pit replicated the consistent thuds in your head as you walked your way around the floor.

Three glasses of single malt whiskey balanced precariously on your tray as you made your way through the crowd of gentlemen and girls enjoying themselves. It was a fine art, one you had perfected over the eleven months you'd been undercover.

You tried not to crinkle your nose in disgust as you passed by a certain lecherous man getting handsy with one of the girls, Lavender.

She was younger than you, a pretty little thing who started around the same time as you did. You'd come to the assumption she was also one of the girls who'd been taken as a a child and reinvented, as she always dodged any questions you asked about her life before... working.

And maybe she just didn't know the answers or she just really valued her privacy as a girl in her late teens did. But the way she would always always redirect the subject or blatantly not answer didn't sit right with you.

Lavender's eyes met yours briefly, and you saw the defeat and disgust she felt as she let the man's hands grip her curvaceous hips. It was a silent cry for help - you'd seen the same look in the other girls' eyes before. Not just at the Chateau, either. At all the establishments you'd wheedled your way into.

You wanted nothing more than to slug the bastard who had to be forty years Lavender's senior, and shame him for defacing an innocent like her. For going behind his wife's back because God forbid she age like human beings do. You saw the ring tan wrapping his ring finger. That was an easy spot after being in the workplace as you long as you had. Or maybe that was just your profiler background giving you an upper hand.

Before you could do anything, however, Lavender was dragged back into a conversation with the lech, forcing a fake smile to crinkle her beautiful features. And you still had three drinks to deliver.

'There you go, boys,' you drawled out, slapping on a flirtatious smile as you placed the three glasses onto the small round table between the three occupied chairs.

'Why thank you, sweetheart,' one said, flashing your smile back at you in return. 'I've been looking forward to this all night.'

'Why don't you sit down with us,' another one said, patting his lap as he took a sip from his glass, never losing eye contact with you.

You repressed the shudder that instinctively rattled your bones, and instead you waved a hand carelessly. 'No, no. I can't. I'm on bar shift tonight, boys. I mean, who else is going to get you your drinks?'

'I'm sure someone else could cover for ya, sweetheart,' the third man suggested, hand reaching out to graze your hips. 'Come on, just ten minutes won't hurt anyone.'

Bile rose up in your throat at his touch, how it sent an uncomfortable chill through you despite the heat inside the Pit. But you were Serena Vanderguff, and this was not your first rodeo.

You gracefully yet pointedly slapped his hand away from you, laughing boisterously like you hadn't purposefully done that. 'Oh, you boys have such a wild sense of humour. But be honest... you couldn't afford ten minutes of this.'

You swayed your hips as you walked away, knowing full well they were staring after you. Wolf whistles followed your movements but none of them came after you thankfully, no doubt because they set their sights on some other poor victims.

You approached the bar and placed your tray on it, leaning on it with a sigh.

'Tell me about it,' a velvety voice said. The voice belonged to a gorgeous woman with charcoal skin, chocolate eyes, and multicoloured braids who was wiping glasses before putting them back behind the bar to use for another round of drinks. 'But I'm sad to say, but the night is still young.'

'You got that right, Ajani,' you murmured, rubbing around your eyes to avoid messing up your eye makeup. It was a little bright and bold for your taste, but it didn't matter what you liked.

It hadn't mattered for a while now.

'Hey,' Ajani said, grabbing your attention. 'Madame was looking for you in her office.'

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'For me? What for?'

Ajani shrugged, throwing the hand towel she'd been using over her shoulder. 'She didn't say what exactly, just that she wanted to see you now. Don't worry, I'll get Becky to cover for ten.'

You nodded, then cautiously turned over my shoulder to the door to the side of the stage that read OFFICE. It wasn't unusual for you to be called in to her office as of late. It was exactly what you wanted. But it didn't mean you weren't any less terrified whenever you entered, the endless possibilities of why you were in there driving you crazy.

The door opened to reveal Madame Lacroix sitting at her desk, a drink in hand, and two other men sitting in the two chairs on the other side of it. Two men, you were terrified to notice, you recognised as managers of your previous workplaces: Alfred Royalton of the Charming Times brothel, and Melton Jones from Guilty Pleasure. Their quiet murmurings silenced as soon as you came into view, their piercing gazes freezing you in the doorway.

'You wanted to see me, Madame?' you said as perkily as you could, hoping to cover your fear up slightly.

Madame Lacroix's red lips split in an award-winning smile as she waved you inside with her free hand. 'Yes, Serena. I was! How lovely of you to join us. Come in, come in!'

You quickly scurried in and closed the door behind you, happy to find reprieve in the much quieter room compared to the Pit. But that reprieve didn't last long, as you met your old bosses' curious gazes.

'You remember Alfred and Melton, Serena?' Madame Lacroix prompted after an awkward moment of silence.

'Yes,' you answered. 'It's great to see you both. You're looking well.'

'And so are you, dear Serena,' Alfred said, walking over and embracing you in an awkward hug as he tried to not spill his drink. As an older gentlemen, he seemed more like a fatherly figure to the girls in his employment. But from what you knew about the business he and the others in the room were involved in, he came off as a creepy pedophile. 'I'm so glad to see Madame Lacroix treating you so well. You know you are always welcome back at the old haunt.'

'If she's going back to anyone, it's me,' Melton said, the certainty in his words matching the intensity of his eyes. They raked you up and down, and again you repressed a shiver from the disgusting feeling it gave you to be watched like a piece of meat. Melton Jones couldn't be older than thirty-five, and was the son of one of the biggest CEO's in Eco-energy products and research.

You could only imagine what his big-time mother would think if she knew what her son was really into.

'Tough luck, boys. She's mine now,' Madame Lacroix interrupted the fight, getting up from her seat to walk around her desk and sling an arm around your shoulders. 'But why don't we get into what we really want to talk about? Have a seat, my dear.'

You didn't have much of a choice as Madame Lacroix guided you to sit in her own desk chair before joining the men on the other side. They all looked at you expectantly, but their smiles were more alarming than reassuring.

'Um... what did you want to see me for, Madame?' you asked after a moment of silence.

Madame didn't respond right away, placing her glass of wine down first on the desk. 'You are a special girl, Serena. Very special indeed.'

You raised a quizzical brow. 'How so?'

'You've impressed us,' Alfred answered, looking around at his peers. 'Your ability to keep secrets and do things without being asked has attributed to this. It's one of the reasons we've had to share you around so much and in such little time. If I had any say, you would've never left Charming Times!'

'You've done our stocktake,' Melton continued, those snake eyes of his never leaving yours. 'Kept certain... shipments under wraps. Picked up exclusive clientele that has done wonders for our business. You're like our own little personal lucky charm.'

You recounted all the times you'd hidden the secret load of drugs that were snuck into customer's drinks and food to get them so delirious they didn't realise how much money they were spending. All the times you sat in on meetings with the managers about who to target the next night, and all the shady receipts of shipments with unknown contents in them you hadn't be told about yet.

All the the illegal and dangerous deals that you'd told your Organised Crime unit about behind your managers' backs.

'That is why we would like to reward you, my dear,' Madame Lacroix said, a smile you figured to be proud gracing her lips. 'And we're not the only ones who think so too. We think you're ready to learn our... business, and so does the Boss.'

'The Boss?' you asked tentatively, not bothering to mask your slight fear. Was this the seller? Was this the guy you'd been trying to take down for almost a year now?

'Oh don't look so terrified, honey,' Madame Lacroix doted, walking around the desk to pat at your head. She leaned in close to you, and you restrained from gagging at the smell of too much wine tainting her breath. 'The Boss is impressed by your work and commitment to the trade. So much so, he wants to meet you. Soon.'

The men looked at you expectantly, and that's when you realised how you should be reacting. 'R-Really?' you mustered out an excited response, widening your eyes to appear more innocent. 'The Boss wants to see me?'

'Yes, Serena,' Alfred said. 'All the arrangements will be made when you meet, but soon you'll be seeing him a lot.'

'Arrangements?'

Melton surprisingly was the one to answer you. 'Each establishment in the Business, as we like to call it, has their hierarchy. The Boss is above us all, and he helps keep our establishments running smoothly. From there, it goes us, then our employees. That's you right now, Serena. But there is a status in between us and the employees that is trusted more than the others, kind of like our right hand woman.'

'And that woman acts as our mediator between us and the Boss,' Madame Lacroix continued, still stroking your hair. 'Kind of like a peace offering for how generous and kind he is to us.'

'What has this got to do with me?' you asked, but you already knew what the answer would be.

Madame Lacroix let out a dramatic sigh as she stood to make her way around the desk again, rejoining the men. 'Well, our mediator at the Chateau was Roxy, but, well, you know what happened to her. So what I'm offering is a chance to become the next Roxy, Serena. Be my most trusted employee, to learn the Business, and to appease the Boss- I mean, thank him.'

She stopped mid-walk to turn and look you dead in the eye, and despite her drunken breath, you saw clarity and evil flash in those emerald eyes of hers.

'So, what do you say, Serena? Do you want to be one of us?'

[hotheadrednecksimmer]

White Xmas - Struck by Love Legacy Challenge - Season 2, Episode 15

Maeve and Star invited Kaito and Naomi on a winter family vacation, something they want to turn into another holiday tradition just like every summer they go to Sulani. This holiday season, the family headed to Mt. Komorebi. They rented a house located in an area near the slopes called Yukimatsu.

Maeve and Star paid for the entire trip understanding their kids are just starting their lives - and are very broke, at least Naomi is. The family took off on a commercial plane and arrived in Mt. Komorebi in the evening. They had time to have a meal, grab showers, and go to sleep for the night.

The next morning, the family sets out to do some of the activities that Mt. Komorebi has to offer.

Naomi and Kaito enjoyed sledding, Naomi liked the more exciting courses that had several jumps while Kaito was more nervous about them.

Maeve and Star took it easy on the bunny course.

Naomi took a chance and bought a snowboard, she tried her hand at snowboarding.

After an eventful day trying different activities, the family was exhausted. They ate dinner and went to bed pretty early. Naomi wasn't ready for bed so she sat downstairs and watched some reality tv. Suddenly, she received a buzz from her phone. It was pretty late, around 11 pm, who could be messaging her this late?

Naomi opened her phone and saw a message from Leo staring down at her. She debated whether she should text him back or not. Her traitorous heart was beating fast and wanting to respond right away while her mind knew better than to get involved with someone, knowing and remembering heartbreak. Somehow they met in the middle and responded to Leo after several minutes.

Within seconds of Naomi responding to Leo, Leo texted back incredibly fast. Naomi guessed he was waiting on her response, hoping that she was awake. She began to smile at her phone. She wasn't going to respond. She shouldn't have responded the first time, but she did. As she was putting her phone down to ignore messages from a certain man, her phone began ringing. It sounded like the loudest thing in the world to Naomi as she saw who was calling.

Leo: Hey Stranger.

To be continued...

╭┈◦•◦❥•◦ Season 1 | Season 2 First | Previous | Next

[plethomacademia]

more modern au shit: emily does not have a girlfiend

1682 words, a young woman in a band is swooped up by an older rich woman. One day while they are listening to records, the woman's husband calls.

Maevetash AU continues and the dynamic remains Weird.

Emily does not have a girlfriend, but she does have a woman that she is seeing.

She had met her after a gig, when it had felt like the crowds had parted and out from them had stepped a beautiful older white woman with dark brown hair, dressed casually but in a way that screamed money. That was a thing about the city that she had learned fairly quickly, how easy it was to run into people with more money than Emily can even imagine having, how you eventually learn to pick them out of a crowd.

The woman had been nice enough, complimenting the band and Emily’s guitar especially. They had traded names and numbers along with a vague promise to get coffee sometime and Emily had not thought much about it until she had gotten a look from the stage manager.

“She strikes again,” the man had said and Emily had cocked her head at him.

“Who, Maeve?” That had been the woman’s name.

“Yeah, she’s picked up some musicians here before.”

Emily had waited for more and when she hadn’t gotten it, she had asked, “So like in a predatory way or?”

“Oh, nah, just don’t fall in love and she’ll probably buy you a new phone or something.”

A stage hand had walked by at that moment and had added, “I heard Chris got a car when he dated her.”

The stage manager had gestured in a “see what I mean?” kind of way and Emily had left then, number still in hand.

That had been six months ago. The older woman — Maeve — had called her the next day and they had gotten that coffee, then gone out to see a show, then fucked in Maeve’s high rise apartment, one that was bigger than the one Emily shared with three other people.

Since then, Maeve had slotted right into Emily’s life. She is recording an album along with her odd jobs and random gigs, so the fact that Maeve is regularly out of town works just fine for her. They text back in forth but in a friendly way, then every week or so, Maeve will send Emily a text message with a ticket or an address and they will go out together.

Sometimes, though, Maeve will just invite her over to hang out. Emily had expected a pillow princess when she met Maeve, but instead she met a woman that loves to be on top, so Emily is the one that gets to lay back and have orgasm after orgasm applied to her by skilled and persistent hands as well as other toys that Maeve keeps in her bedroom.

And yes, after a few months, she did get that new phone.

This evening, they are the common area of Maeve’s apartment. Maeve bought a few new records and they are rotating through them while they talk about music, Emily’s band, the record they are recording, just anything that they can think of. They do not talk about Maeve’s life outside of the city nor her career nor her family.

Maeve had told Emily about them on their second date, had never hidden the fact from her, and after that it had just been another fact about her. Emily’s not-girlfriend has a husband, some unknown number of kids, and some kind of business that involves social media and wellness. Honestly, Emily isn’t interested in learning more. It’s much easier to focus on how well Maeve fucks her from behind with her strap than why she has a secret family. Rich people shit is not Emily’s problem.

After a few records and a lot of trips to smoke on the balcony, Maeve is laying on the couch with her feet in Emily’s lap. She had made an off comment earlier about wearing heels all day and so Emily is pushing out the kinks in her foot. The noises Maeve is making combined with the weed have Emily ridiculously horny and she is ready to propose that they move things to the bedroom when Maeve’s phone starts to ring.

Maeve has always had two phones. One of them is Maeve’s work phone. This is the one Emily sees her using the most. She is constantly tapping out messages on it or taking calls from her assistant. The other phone is the one that Maeve is never without, but rarely uses. That one, from the few times Emily has seen Maeve take it into another room, she presumes is Maeve’s personal phone. This is the phone currently ringing on the coffee table.

Maeve snatches it up. “Sorry, I have to take this,” she says.

Emily nods, moves to take Maeve’s feet off her lap, but then instead Maeve taps a few times on her screen and puts the phone back on the table. There is the sound of movement on the other side and Emily feels a chill of dread as she realizes that the phone is now on speaker.

“You were supposed to call me yesterday,” Maeve says.

“What’s this shit about an event on Thursday, Maeve?” comes a reply from the phone. It is a deep male voice, just angry enough to send another chill through Emily. She once again tries to dislodge Maeve, but the older woman seems uninterested in moving.

“I need you at a movie premiere, Yanthus said that you were available.”

“Yanthus is my secretary, not yours. You know that I need more notice than two days.”

“Then you should pick up your phone when I call you, Enver.”

Enver. That is a name that Emily recognizes after so long in this woman’s orbit. That is the name of her husband, some kind of high-up executive at some kind of company. Maeve has no pictures of him in her apartment, but Emily had seen one once while scrolling her social media feed. She thought of that picture now: dark hair, dark eyes, brown skin and a mouth that had been leaning down to say something into his partner’s ear. It had looked like they had been caught in an intimate moment and Emily wonders on occasion how to square that picture with the woman that she is routinely getting fucked by.

This phone call is clearing some things up.

Maeve is still talking. “The agreement is one event per quarter minimum, not only one event per quarter. I need you at this one, it’s a big deal for me.”

“I will want one in return. Without complaint this time.”

“Fine, just tell Scelly about it.”

“You mean how I had to remind her four times to put Eda’s recital on your calendar?”

Maeve is up in a shot, the phone in her hand. She taps the screen and puts it to her ear. “I already talked to her about that, Enver, do not put that shit on me.”

Emily takes the opportunity to get up from the couch. She picks up Maeve’s vape pen from where they had left it on the coffee table, then waves at the other woman. She gestures toward the balcony and Maeve shoos her off, her attention clearly on what she is hearing on her phone.

After she gets outside and slides the door closed behind her, Emily takes in a deep breath and lets it out. The last thing she is interested in from her not-girlfriend is hearing her family shit, so she walks to the railing, as far as she can get from the doorway and potentially hearing anything. Her buzz had been fully killed by what had just happened and she takes some time to do a few deep inhales with the pen, looking out at the city while she relaxes back into her high.

Eventually, it gets too cold and she reopens the door and slinks back inside. Maeve is back on the couch, her knees pulled up to her chest. She is smiling and Emily considers going back outside, but the woman has seen her and holds up a finger, a request for Emily to wait. She swallows and walks the rest of the way to return the vape back to the table.

“You have so many nice suits, get my stylist to put something together. No, no, she will, I can call her tomorrow.” Maeve sucks in her lip, bites it with her teeth like a girl talking to her crush. “No, go to bed, you have a lot going on tomorrow. I love you, ok?”

Emily looks to where her bag is at the door, along with her shoes. Maeve is a stickler for no shoes in her apartment and Emily wonders how long it would take to slip on her sneakers and slip out of the door. Then Maeve is putting her phone back on the table and she looks up at Emily with flushed cheeks and a smile still on her face.

“I am starving, should we order something?” Maeve says.

Emily blinks for a moment. “Like Thai?” she asks.

Maeve moans. “God, yes, Thai sounds amazing. Do you want to put on another record?”

Maeve sits up and makes the call for way too much food, this time on her business phone, while Emily goes to the record player to make a new selection. By the time Emily is done, Maeve is putting her phone back on the table. Emily walks to sit on the couch but Maeve reaches for her hand and pulls the younger woman onto her lap.

“Thanks for sticking around,” she says as she drags her hands up Emily’s thighs. She doesn’t wait before putting one of them on Emily’s mound and pressing. Weird phone calls be damned, between the weed and just how fucking hot Maeve is, Emily can’t help but grind onto her in response. “Do you want me to feed you first or fuck you, Emily?” Maeve says.

Emily smiles. “Thai place usually takes at least thirty minutes.”

“Good point,” Maeve says as she undoes the top of Emily’s pants. “So let’s see how many times I can get you off before then.��

[charmingpplincardigans]

IT IS TIME...to make an old-fashioned embarrassing text post like those days of yore before my old therapist started doing CBT.

So, I started an OK Cupid account. It’s kind of a big step, and also something I’ve been joking about for more than a year. Just any time something funny or self-deprecating (or vaguely dirty) came up I’d be like ‘putting that on the OKC profile!’ In the end my OKC profile is pretty tame. Maybe too tame really. I should probably rewrite my bio so I sound nerdier and more romantic or something.

ANYWAY. The point is, it’s scary, knowing that in order to be loved you must submit to the ordeal of being known or whatever, but I took a tiny step which feels like a huge step after ten eleven years of singlehood and touch starvedness. Now I just need someone to message me so I can take another small terrifying step and meet them. And so on and so on. It’s just fear all the way down with me when it comes to intimacy. IT’S FINE. I EMAILED A POSSIBLE THERAPIST THIS EVENING.

Last weekend I met with a friend who just graduated library school and talked to her about how to find a job and such. It was cathartic, and also heartening. I really do have a lot of practical skills from the work I’ve been doing for fifteen years now. She said I have experience with things they didn’t even really learn in grad school, that she’s had to learn on the job. That makes me feel a little better. I still worry about how glutted the librarian market is up here, but there really are a ton of library jobs to apply for in all different industries, so I’ll probably find something that will pay me enough and not murder me eventually.

(My Indeed email today had a listing for a Digital Archivist for the MFA but the pay only went up to $49K??? THAT’S LESS THAN THE TOO LITTLE I’M MAKING NOW. God I’d love to work at the MFA though. CAN YOU IMAGINE? Do I just apply anyway and then be like, just kidding, I want $70K, thanks.)

I’ve also been using they/them pronouns at work with select people. Mostly with my boss and within the Queer ERG channels. And I guess with my grand boss, who guessed it all on her own through a series of slightly hilarious events. I’m not demanding anything, and I still have they/she in my signature because I hate rocking boats and know that I’m femme a lot of the time so I know how people will see me and I don’t want to fight with everyone ever about it and yada yada. Maeve says that’s stupid. She’s probably right, but like. Maybe if I find a new therapist they can help me work through that. I’ve been taking up more space lately, but still not as much as a person probably should.

Like I said, baby steps.

Anyway, my boss saw me list myself as they/them in an ERG meeting this morning and during our one-on-one later she said she was proud of me for all of the hard, scary stuff I’ve been doing lately. (Which she knows about because we talk about work approximately half the time when we talk.) It feels silly to be proud of it all, because most people do this at like, 20, right? All of it. Being able to date, knowing who you are, knowing what kind of job you want. But because she’s a good person she reminded me that when I was 15 and 20 I wasn’t in places where it was safe to make some of these decisions, or even if it was, I didn’t have the support for them. So yeah, I’m proud of it all.

In the last twenty-five years I’ve gone from suicidal to ambivalent to apathetic to super depressed to figuring it out to figuring it out to figuring it out. I’m still figuring it out. But I have an excellent support system. I have people who love me and want to know the whole me. Want me to know the whole me. I have tools to help myself emotionally. I have hope.

I can lament over the lost time, or I can look ahead with a mind to make use of all the time I have left. I maybe got here a little bit after everyone else. I may still be working toward it, but I’m here and I’m working. I’m doing hard, scary things, and that’s what being alive is all about, right?

[shyvioletcat]

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! It’s my birthday today and my gift to you is this chapter that took me far too long to finish. I really hope you like it and I’m not going to delay any longer. 

~ Made of Ashes Masterlist ~

~~~~~

Rowan’s day started like any other, he got up, checked his emails, got ready for work and ate his breakfast. It wasn’t until he was half way through his cereal that he realised anything out of the ordinary. A notification lit up his phone and he assumed that it was just an email but a quick glance told him it was a text from his mother. He wasn’t one to have a preview on his lock screen, so he unlocked his phone to read it.

Happy Birthday, son. Hope you have a nice and relaxing day. Love, Mum. 

He blinked once, and then remembered that today was, in fact, his birthday. Rowan had forgotten, and he didn’t care. There were other things that needed to be done today instead of acknowledging another year on the earth. Without any effort Rowan sent a simple thank you text back. Today was just another day, there was nothing special about it, nothing to celebrate.

When he got into work Rowan barely looked up from his phone. Partly due to the copious amount of emails in his inbox and partly because he didn’t want to interact with anyone. No one should know about his birthday, he wasn’t exactly the most social being in this office. Essar might, but that came with the inside knowledge of being the head of HR. And they were friendly, but not friends. A casual birthday wish was all Rowan expected of her if he couldn't avoid it. 

So when he walked into his office and there was an obscenely large gift basket sitting on his desk Rowan was taken aback. 

Slipping his phone into the inside pocket of his jacket he approached the desk, circled it while inspecting the gift basket. From the items he could see he could tell this thing wasn’t cheap. The bottle of whiskey in there would have well over a hundred dollars on its own. Rowan stopped by his chair, peering over the layers of clear cellophane for a card. It was tucked under one of the corners of the physical woven basket and he didn’t bother to wait with his suspicions any longer and slid it out from underneath the substantial weight. He tore at the envelope and flipped open the small card. 

For the third time today, his birthday had presented him with yet another surprise. 

Inside the card was an elegant and simple message of birthday well wishes—from his boss. The text was printed so Maeve hadn’t signed it off herself, and Rowan doubted that she had even come up with the words herself they were so generic. Still, she had gone through this much effort to give him a gift. Regardless of whatever thought and effort was put into the obscene jumble of items, Rowan picked up the basket and moved it off his desk to one of the couches in his office. He had work to do, so he would be returning that later. 

Later turned out to be just before close of business. It would be the worst time to carry the thing through the office when everyone was cramming to finish what they could before they were allowed to go home. Instead Rowan waited, using the quiet moment to see to more personal affairs. He pulled out his phone, checking his messages. There was another one from his mother asking about his day, and a text along with a missed call from his father. A few texts from friends, which he took a glance over. He was about to reply when a ding from his computer drew his attention away. Rowan had expected it to be a client or co-worker sending in an email desperately before he became unavailable. But it wasn’t, it was from someone completely unexpected. 

It must have been morbid curiosity that made him click on it. What he should have done was checked in on the small empty box beside it and deleted it. But instead, his mouse found its way onto the subject heading and it opened on his screen. It was just an e-card, outdated and cheesy. But ever since they had started dating she had sent one to him. What had started out as a joke had become a tradition and now Rowan stared at something that had been waiting a full year to be delivered to him. 

The photo was of him and Aelin, taken on his last birthday and he was sure if he looked for some kind of date stamp he’d find that the entire email was created just hours after it was taken. She did it that way so she wouldn’t forget, so that he wouldn’t be forgotten. The irony of it was that she had forgotten, after everything this had slipped her mind and hadn’t been cancelled. 

Rowan couldn’t help it, he stared at the joy on their faces, the way they so easily stood with their bodies so close together. The hand Aelin had on the collar of his jacket was tight and he remembered how she had pulled him in for a kiss with that grip. The joke of the e-card had been how badly it was done, Aelin annually tried her hand at his job, presenting him with a horribly designed card. He worked in advertising, anything he presented to the public was flawless. But with its garish and clashing colours and comic sans font, this was awful. It was the text that drew in his focus now. 

Happiest of Birthdays to you, Buzzard,

Can’t wait to celebrate with you later ;)

I love you, forever and always.

Aelin.

For the first time in a while he felt the weight on his chest that he had worked so hard to remove. He had to tell himself that all this was a reminder of what he’d had, a part of his past and nothing that was part of his future. Not after what Aelin had forced him into. That familiar anger settled on him, something that was so natural to him after these months of silence. With an easy click on the trashcan icon the email was gone. There wouldn’t be another. 

Rowan was officially done with the day and he knew Maeve would be in her office, rarely one to leave early despite her position. So he once again picked up the gift basket, and walked it through the mostly empty office space. No one paid him any attention except Maeve’s secretary when he stopped outside the door. She was new, Rowan hadn’t learnt her name yet. 

“Mr Whitethorn, you can go in,” she said with a trained and pleasant smile. Rowan didn’t return it, he just nodded. 

Maeve was sitting at her desk, glasses on as she annotated whatever she was going over. She didn’t look up until she was ready, always holding the upper hand. When she did glance up she did a double take before she lent back in her chair to see him better. 

“Ah, I see you got my gift,” she said smoothly.

“I did, but I can’t accept it,” Rowan told her, not wanting to draw this out. “It’s too much and I don’t care for my birthday anyway. It’s just another day.” 

“That’s unfortunate.” Maeve didn’t push the matter of the gift, just gestured for him to put it down. Although he didn’t miss what he thought was annoyance flash across her face. “If you won’t accept the gift, can I interest you in dinner instead?” 

Rowan put the ridiculous hamper on one of the chairs by her desk. “Not tonight.” 

“Are you sure? I could get us into Spring Rose, I know the chef,” Maeve persisted.

The name of the restaurant brought him up short. Rowan knew the place, he had taken Aelin there when he’d brought her to visit her parents. She had met him after work, dressed to the nines and beautiful. 

“No,” Rowan said flatly. “Thank you for the offer but I can’t.” 

Maeve laughed humourlessly. “You’ve just told me that you don’t care for your birthday and you’re returning my gift. It’s not likely that you have plans for the evening.” 

She was weaving a web to catch him and right now it was pissing Rowan off. He just wanted to go home and be done with today. “I understand, it’s a generous offer. But not tonight.”

“I might hold you to that,” Maeve said casually. “It's unfortunate that you don’t want the hamper, but I understand. I’ll just have to enjoy it myself.”

Rowan was relieved that she relented, arguing about his boss about his birthday was not something he wished to do. “Goodnight, I’ll see you Monday.”

“Goodbye, Rowan,” was all Maeve said and then she went back to her screens.

He grabbed his things from his office and then he headed for his car, thoughts invading his mind. The email stung in a way Rowan hadn’t expected. It was a reminder to him that he and Aelin had always thought they were in it for the long haul. How wrong they had been. A few messages popped up on his dash, most likely birthday well wishes. Rowan planned to ignore all of those, and just reply to his mother. She didn’t deserve his foul mood. He replied to her on the ride up in the elevator and then threw the phone into his laptop bag with the full intent of not looking at it until tomorrow. 

His apartment seemed quieter than usual, something about his solitude more oppressive. The email had provoked something in him. Rowan began to wonder if Aelin ever thought about him, or if she had to fight so hard to banish him from her thoughts like he had done. Work was his remedy for that, what was Aelin doing to distract herself?

Rowan sighed, going to his fridge and got himself a beer. There was nothing to be done about this, and just like everything else he had done regarding Aelin, he shoved the thoughts over the email out and away. They served no purpose, he didn’t need them. He sat on the couch and reached for the remote, taking a long sip of his beer while the TV booted up. Something mysterious and crime filled would be good to distract him, to give him a good puzzle to solve.

He chose a series he’d heard cursory good reviews about. While the opening credits played he went to the fridge, grabbed out a cold container of pasta and another beer. Rowan made good time, sitting down just and the director’s name faded from the screen. He set his next beer on the low coffee table in front of him and yanked the lid off the container of pasta. It would be better heated up but he just couldn’t be bothered. Reaching for his beer, clinking it against the unopened one, the glass making a sharp ting over the sound of the TV.  

Rowan sighed and took a long swig of his beer before saying, “Happy birthday to me.”  

~~~~~

Leaving the house with a little baby was still such a strange thing. Aelin had done it a few times now, not once by herself, until today. Childbirth had wrecked her more than she had expected and it had taken her longer to recover than she would realise. Elide had tried to warn her—Aelin had been too cocky. She had pretty much spent the first 6 weeks of Elsie’s life in her apartment unless someone came to pick her up or visit, and there had been plenty of visitors to keep her sane. Today at least she had driven by herself, albeit a little slower and a hell of a lot more cautious than she usually would. 

She was meeting Elide, Lorcan and Korbin at the local shopping centre. They had plans to get some lunch and then do some casual shopping. Aelin was running late, but chances were so were they as well. Children tended to cause that. Popping the boot Aelin pulled out the pram and unfolded it with practised ease. Because Aelin had been practising ever since she bought the thing, she had no plans to be fumbling around trying to fold or unfold it in a desperate situation. Flicking on the break, Aelin went to the back door and got Elsie out of her car seat. She was dozing, her brow furrowed like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be awake or not. 

“Oh, come on little Elsie,” Aelin cooed, scooping the infant out of the car. She went to put Elsie into the pram but as soon as Aelin started to ease the baby onto the padded bassinet she loudly proclaimed her displeasure. “Ok, not doing that then.”

Aelin dropped the nappy bag into the pram instead and rested Elsie on her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her beanied head. The pram was easy enough to manoeuvre with one hand—another feature Aelin had tested out. A short walk and an elevator ride later they were in the large courtyard that was surrounded by a variety of restaurants. Aelin’s eyes landed on the Italian place selected for luch, because Korbin’s current favourite food was pasta at the moment. It was across the courtyard through the autumn sunshine. It was a very rare sunny day in late November, by now winter usually had the city in its thrall, but today was very nice. 

When Aelin reached the door of the restaurant a waiter rushed to open the door for her. She nodded her thanks and then looked around for her lunch companions. Korbin gave them away, Aelin heard his loud laugh and then saw his dark head of hair pop up over the booth then quickly disappear again. Whatever game Korbin was playing made Aelin smile and she navigated the pram through the tables. 

“Hey guys,” Aelin said as she got closer. Korbin waved an enthusiastic hello, hyped up on all the activity. 

“You right?” Lorcan asked, starting to rise out of the booth to help as Korbin peered over the seat again. 

Aelin shook her head and flicked on the pram brake. “No, I’m good.”

She slid onto the seat next to Elide, sighing like she’d just been through a whole ordeal instead of walking from the car to the restaurant. 

“Gimme,” Elide held out her hands for the baby.

“Oh, it’s nice to see you too,” Aelin joked but handed the baby over anyway.

Elide grinned, air kissing at Aelin. “You know I love you even more.” With the next sentence her voice changed into baby talk. “This one is just so squishy.” 

Aelin rolled her eyes playfully, because she totally understood where Elide was coming from. Then she turned to the little boy who was trying to climb on his dad's shoulder. “Hey, Korby, look who Mum has.”

Korbin turned, eyes landing on Elide and they all watched as his face morphed into something that could be described as disgust. Lorcan chuckled and Aelin grinned. It was common knowledge that Korbin was not a fan of the new baby, and if the toddler had the capability to hate anything, he hated when Elide held her. 

“You two are not helping,” Elide scolded, rubbing Elsie’s back. “We’re supposed to be encouraging him to like the baby.”

“Ells, he’s nearly two,” Lorcan said. “He’s going to do what he’s going to do.”

“Still,” Elide pressed.

Aelin laughed. “He’ll come around, he doesn’t have a choice. I’m sure they’ll be friends… eventually.”

With the teasing done with, Aelin turned her attention to the menu. By the time they had ordered Elide had gotten Elsie to sleep and was happily holding her until the food arrived. Korbin immediately started eating his nuggets and chips, losing interest in games and the baby. But Elide would need two hands to eat her steak sandwich. Aelin was about to offer to move Elsie to the pram but Lorcan got there first. He leaned over and easily eased the infant over the table, holding her close as he stood up. Very gently he put Elsie down in the pram, taking the time to tuck her in and make sure she was comfortable. It was still odd to see Lorcan be so… soft. Especially when it was somehow related to Aelin. The truce between them that had started on the way to the hospital was still holding strong it seemed. 

The lunch was nice and Elsie blessedly stayed asleep the whole time. With a few interruptions from Korbin, Aelin was able to hold nice and casual adult conversations that didn’t always revolve around the baby. It was nice, it felt like things were getting back to normal. They finished, paid and then headed to the main shopping complex to browse the stores. Women’s clothes didn’t particularly hold Lorcan’s attention so he wandered off, leaving the mothers and children for a bit. 

“This would look fantastic on you,” Elide said, holding up a simple but elegant red dress.

Aelin shrugged. “I’d have nowhere to wear it.”

“Yet,” Elide said pointedly.

“Elide, Elsie is six weeks old. No one is going to be interested in this mess,” Aelin gestured to herself.

The brunette scoffed. “One, you are not a mess.”

“I am,” Aelin countered.

“A hot mess then. And two, I never said anything about a date, you could wear the dress anytime. Sometimes it’s just nice to put clothes on that don’t have stains on them,” Elide explained. “It’s just nice to do something just for you. That’s all.”

Aelin looked at the dress and considered, she even completed trying it on, but then Korbin ran into Elide’s legs a distinct smell following him. 

“Oh, that’s not good,” Elide muttered, taking Korbin’s hand. “Come on, let's get you changed then. Meet you back here?”

“No, I’ll just wait on the seats outside,” Aelin said.

They moved out of the store together, but then Elide hurried away towards the bathrooms. Aelin went to the couches that took up some of the in between spaces in the middle of the different stores. She had just sat down when she heard her own child fussing and pulled the pram close so that she could get Elsie out. Pushing back the visor Aelin saw Elisie’s fists waving around, the rest of her body still tucked securely in the blanket from Lorcan’s efforts. 

“I bet you’re hungry,” Aelin said, and reached down into the nappy bag under the bassinet of the pram. She’d packed a bottle to prepare for this, the thought of feeding in public was a little daunting and Aelin wasn’t sure if she was brave enough to attempt it. Public nudity wasn’t on her list of things to do today. 

Aelin kept sifting blindly through the nappy bag, waiting to feel the smooth lid of the bottle. But she didn’t. As Elsie started to cry louder Aelin pulled the bag into her lap, visibly searching. 

“No,” Aelin hissed. “No, I didn’t…” 

Now she was pulling things out of the bag because she couldn’t believe how she'd forgotten something so essential. While she stared at the wet wipes and extra onesie in her hand and the half empty bag, Elsie decided to start screaming her lungs out with desperate and hungry cries. If that went on any longer Aelin might end up with a boob problem and soak through her shirt triggered by her baby’s needs. Aelin probably had about thirty seconds before this went into a full blown crisis and she might be scared off coming out by herself again. 

The parents' room was all the way at the other end of the shopping mall. It would take her at least 5 minutes to get there, longer if she couldn’t get an elevator. The panic was setting in and if only made Elsie fuss more. Aelin only had one choice. Going on instinct and what was now muscle memory, Aelin cradled Elsie while she unbuttoned the top few buttons on her shirt. There was no time to grab a wrap to drape over herself and she wore a maternity singlet under her blouse so realistically she would barely be exposed. But still her cheeks burned with embarrassment as Elsie sought out her meal. Maybe once she was settled Aelin would be able to grab something. 

As Elsie started to feed Aelin felt her anxiety start to ebb and she sunk into the couch a little more. It was fine, everything was fine, and now Aelin could start to think. Making sure not to disturb her now content daughter, Aelin leaned towards the pram to get the muslin wrap that sat in the bottom basket. It wasn’t easy and leaving Elsie to her task was the main priority. And the little baby did not like the disturbance.

Cheeks burning, Aelin sat back up at the request of the impatient whimpering. It was fine, this was fine. She was just doing what women had been doing for millions of years. There was no reason to be embarrassed. That didn’t stop her shoulders from tightening when she caught an older woman looking at her, disapproval written all over her face and that just transferred to the friend next to her.

Aelin glanced down, feeling so self conscious. She was barely showing any skin, what she wore hid most of it. It wasn’t like she was parading around topless. Her stomach dropped as one of the irritated women started walking over. Mummy blogs were full of horror stories of women breastfeeding in public. Aelin was about to live one.

“Excuse me, sorry,” the woman said, stopping right in front of Aelin. 

Aelin’s voice caught in his throat. “Yes?”

“I would really appreciate it if you covered up.”

And there it was. Aelin tried not to flush, but her cheeks were burning red. “I’m just feeding my baby.”

“I can see that,” the woman’s blue eyes narrowed. “I just don’t think—“

“Is there a problem?”

Aelin hadn’t noticed Lorcan approaching, she had been too focused on the woman intent on embarrassing her. But there he stood, looming over the both of them with his arms crossed, a challenge on his face. Aelin tried not to smile as the unsolicited advice giver blanched a little. 

“I meant no disrespect,” the woman said. “But—”

“Then you’ll have no problem leaving,” Lorcan cut in. 

The woman weighed her options for half a moment and then thankfully left. Aelin let out a nervous laugh mixed with a sigh, and realised there might be tears of relief gathering in her eyes. Lorcan definitely pretended not to notice as he landed on the couch next to her. He kept his arms crossed and the do not approach expression on his face, glaring at anyone who even glanced at Aelin wrong. It was almost comical, and Aelin might had laughed—if her throat would stop feeling so tight. 

“Thank you, Lorcan,” Aelin said eventually. She hated the way her voice shook just a fraction. 

Lorcan shrugged one of his massive shoulders. “Kid’s gotta eat.” 

Then something very weird happened. Lorcan offered his fist for a fist bump. Without hesitation Aelin knocked his knuckles with hers, a new feeling of camaraderie bloomed between them. Lorcan had her back, and it was a strangely comforting feeling. 

It wasn’t long before Elide found them too, by then Elsie was sitting on Aelin’s knee with assistance. Aelin patted the infant’s back, hoping the burp would be more air than vomit. 

“What’s going on here?” Elide asked while Korby ran circles around her knees. 

“Oh, Lorcan’s just defending my honour,” Aelin said.

Elide turned a questioning glance at her husband, he gave her the slightest hint of a smile. “Some people need to pull their heads out of their arses.”

“Ohhh-kay,” Elide said, with no idea of what was happening.

Aelin would have explained further, but Elsie chose just then to burp up half her lunch. Lorcan was there a second later, whipping out a burp cloth from the pram to catch it. 

“Truly my knight in shining armour,” Aelin added, as lightly as she could. This was heading into a new and slightly weird aspect of their relationship.

Aelin knew that Lorcan had taken Rowan’s side in things, he had chosen to tolerate her for so long she really had to commend his dedication to it. When Korbin was born things had gotten better, but she always felt that wall there because he was Rowan’s friend and not her’s. But now, it was almost like they were fringing into the realm of friends. If their general banter was any indication they might already be there.

“Here, let me take her,” Lorcan offered, reaching out for the infant. “Go do your lady stuff or whatever. I’ll take these two to the park.”

With a few extra thank yous Aelin and Elide resumed their shopping expedition. They were in a homewares store when Aelin felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She looked at the notification taking a moment to figure out what it was. It was an email, telling her her e-card had been sent. For a moment Aelin just blinked at it as she remembered exactly what it was. It was Rowan’s birthday and her annual half-assed card she had curated for this year had been sent. 

Aelin hadn’t even realised what the date was, on one hand she had trouble keeping track these days and on the other she really didn’t care anymore. She just hit delete and didn’t bother to give it another thought. Without her making a new for next year the tradition would die. That didn’t matter, she had better things to focus on now. And yet some simmering bitter part of her hoped that Rowan got it. It would be early evening in Doranelle now, maybe it would catch him just before he left for home. Aelin hoped that it would make him think of her and he would regret what he’d so readily thrown away. 

~~~~~

Iris and Evander had told Aelin they would be in Orynth a little over a week. They already had a few things they’d planned to do before the unexpected revelation of an unknown grandchild had disrupted that, and asked if they could fit in seeing Elsie in between. After that first outing in the park and considering how well that went, Aelin agreed. Guilt might have been the main motivator but it was easy enough to see that they were quickly falling in love with their granddaughter. 

The easiest way to sort it all out was for Iris and Evander to drop by the bakery in between galleries and sightseeing. They had done that at least once a day over the past few days, they had even managed it twice yesterday. Iris would send a text and Aelin would bring Elsie out from her office. The little girl was excited to see her new friends and would happily go along with them, leading them to a table, and Aelin would go back to work. That’s where they were now, tucked into one of the tables in the corner out of the way. Today the grandparents had bought Elsie a colouring in pack and she stood on a chair with Evander sitting close by to make sure she didn’t fall as she created whatever her heart desired.  

Aelin watched as she waited for Emrys to finish making her coffee, needing a little buzz as afternoon rolled around. When it was done he pushed it over the counter and nodded to the commotion in the corner. 

“You never did tell me who they were.” 

Aelin cringed. She hadn’t and that may have been a little purposeful.  “Do you remember that guy who came in a while ago and things were a little weird?”  

Emrys hummed as a way of saying yes. 

“He’s Elsie’s father and those two are his parents,” Aelin gestured with a hand to the occupied table. 

Emrys tightened his grip on the dishcloth he held. “I thought you called him an unfeeling and pathetic bastard.”

“I did say that, yes.” That was one of the more tamer things she had called him. 

“And that he was long gone,” Emrys added.

Aelin shrugged at that. “Not as much as I was expecting.” 

“Well, that explains some things,” Emrys said. 

Cringing again, Aelin turned back to where Elsie was holding court. She hadn’t been the best employee over the last few months while she dealt with this situation. She’d been distracted and late or worked from home without much notice. Emrys had never said a thing, probably assuming Elsie was the cause. And she was, just in a roundabout way. 

Untying and dropping his apron on the counter Emrys said, “I should go introduce myself.”

Before Aelin could even think of protesting, Emrys had Iris and Evander’s drinks in hand and took them over to the table. She watched as he approached and once Elsie saw her face lit up in a bright smile and she started showing him all the things she had created. Emrys smiled, fixing one of Elsie’s clips that had come loose, smiling and nodding along. He very much had been something of a surrogate grandfather to the girl, and very protective of the two of them. It was touching that he would be so concerned for them. It just reminded Aelin that Emrys was a good and kind man. 

Emrys introduced himself to the grandparents, shaking hands with both of them. Everyone was all smiles, not that Aelin expected anything less. It was just strange to have the life she had left behind meet up with the one she had forged for herself. Aelin tore her eyes away and ducked behind the counter, picking out a small chocolate tart for herself. Eating behind the counter wasn’t exactly sanitary so she put it on a plate and went to sit down and have a chat with the elder Whitethorns. 

She passed Emrys on the way and he stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. “They seem nice. They adore little Elsie.” 

Aelin nodded. “They’re good people. And they really do.”

The admission made unexpected emotions surge to the surface. She couldn’t help but feel like she had stolen time from them. They were Elsie’s grandparents, and if these past days were any indication they would have been fantastic grandparents. Iris and Evander had never done anything wrong by Aelin in the time she and Rowan had dated, so had it been wrong to keep Elsie from them?

That was a question that kept hounding her and that she continually ignored. It felt like one that might send her tower toppling. So, once again she did ignore it and worked a conscious smile onto her face. When Aelin sat down at the table it took her daughter a moment to notice that she had, and in fact she noticed the tart first. Elsie’s eyes landed on the chocolatey goodness, then followed the hand up the arm to the face that owned it. 

“Mama!” Elsie said, her face delighted. “I some?”

Aelin’s smile turned genuine and she nodded, scooping up a spoonful of tart to offer it to her daughter. 

“We’re not pulling you away from work, are we?” Iris asked. 

“No, I don’t have anything urgent to get to,” Aelin answered. “I had something to ask you anyway. On Saturday there’s a get together at a park, it’ll be us and the Salvaterres, and my cousin will come too. We get the kids together to play every so often and the weather will start getting too cold soon to take them outside. Anyway… would you like to come?”

Aelin had rambled a little but her thoughts were all a bit jumbled today and she just needed to get the offer out. She had already cleared it with the others, Aedion hadn’t met her maybe would have been in-laws and the perpetual busybody he was, he'd insisted out of curiosity alone. 

“Oh, Saturday?” Evander hedged. 

“Yeah, Saturday,” Aelin confirmed. 

It was Iris who picked up the conversation after that. “We had plans with Rowan on Saturday.”

Aelin was going to drown in the amount of awkwardness that swept over her. “Ah.”

Iris looked at Elsie like she was contemplating something, her lips tight. Aelin just waited, she didn’t want to butt into this situation. She would leave it up to them to make the choice between their granddaughter and their son. That was a choice Aelin had no business interfering with, regardless of what she thought the better decision was.

“Might I suggest something, and I want you to feel no obligation to agree,” Iris said. 

“Of course,” Aelin tried not to let the hesitation she felt into her voice. 

“Would you consider inviting Rowan? I know things are awkward between you, and there’s some tension when you inevitably run into each other,” Iris stated, obviously having been filled in on his side of things. “Might it be good to meet on neutral ground. Have an official introduction of sorts, let Elspeth explore her curiosity with him in an environment that doesn’t encroach on your sanctuary.”

Aelin sat for a moment, just processing Iris’ idea. She had made some valid points. Elsie had a very obvious interest in Rowan, and Aelin had noticed it multiple times. The moment in the bakery most noticeably, it was like she couldn’t keep away when they ended up in the same vicinity. And that was something Aelin didn’t want to look at too closely at—the why of Elsie’s behaviour. If Rowan came there wouldn’t be the pressure of just him and them. There would be other people to buffer interactions and create distance. Iris and Evander would be there, Rowan could be their situation to deal with. And with how gracious they had been over the whole secret grandchild thing… maybe Aelin could allow them this.

“Yeah, okay,” Aelin said at last. “That sounds like a good idea.”

Aelin knew it would be awkward and she would need to do some damage control with Aedion, but this could be the icebreaker that she needed. Probably how the baby shower should have gone if they had been more prepared. In the truth of it, Aelin was losing her fight. The vigilance and the anger was exhausting, and on more than one occasion it was evident that Elsie had been affected by the strain. Maybe a move toward neutrality wasn’t such a bad idea. 

~~~~~

His mother was a saint, or maybe she was just gods blessed. Either way Rowan didn’t know how she’d accomplished it or how he was going to thank her for doing what he couldn’t. As grateful as he was, it didn’t banish the nerves over what was happening today or the situations he’d find himself in. In his mind the whole thing seemed uncomfortable and awkward. What was he supposed to do at a playdate at a children’s playground when he had no children himself? Well, he did. At least biologically.

Aelin would be there, so would the Salvaterres and the Ashryvers apparently. Iris hadn’t mentioned if Aelin’s parents would be coming, but Rowan hoped they weren’t. That would be the one inconvenience that might send him running. His last interaction with Rhoe Galathynius had been tense to say the least and Rowan was not looking to test the limits of that man’s patience again any time soon. 

Rowan had driven his parents to the local playground, the cool early autumn air invading his lungs as he tried to keep his anxiety from showing.  Getting out of the car hadn’t been as ebay as it should have been. 

“Calm down, son,” Iris said to him, squeezing his arm once as they started walking away from the parked car. “Your nerves will do you no good.” 

The playground was fairly busy, but Elspeth was easy to spot. Her curls and bright laughter drew Rowan’s attention immediately. She was being chased by Fenrys who had Korbin on his shoulders. Ruben ran interference to keep Fenrys back so that Elspeth could win whatever game they were playing. It was a sight to see, but it just left Rowan feeling conflicted. Another reminder that he was very much on the outside of this. With a quick glance around it was a relief to see that the elder Galathyniuses were not in attendance, but there was still Aedion to contend with.

“Let’s go and say hello,” Evander said, leading the charge to one of the shaded picnic tables that the group was gathering at. 

“What’s Fenrys doing here?” Iris mused and Rowan stopped short. He was one part of the tale that had been left out. “Aelin never mentioned him coming along, does he have a kid too?”

“Um,” Rowan stammered out. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Then why…” This time his mother stopped, her words trailing off as she watched the scene unfold, looking to where Fenrys had stopped playing with the children and was now wrapping his arms around Aelin. She beamed up and he dropped a kiss onto her cheek. “They’re together.”

The three of them were halted now, still far enough away that they hadn’t been noticed and the hushed circle that was forming wouldn’t seem rude. Iris’ eyes narrowed, suspicion and confusion shining there. Rowan had been there, and imagined he would have looked much the same when he had first spotted the couple in the grocery store. 

“Yeah, they are,” Rowan offered lamely.

Iris gestured in their direction. “You’re okay with this? He was your friend?”

Rowan didn’t think this was the time or place to recount how not okay he was with it, he’d have time to admit his sins later. “I’ve had to accept it.”

Iris shook her head. “What a dick move.”

Any other time Rowan would have laughed at hearing a term like that come from his mother’s mouth, but right now he was too tense.

“Now, we don’t know the circumstances or the reasons,” Evander came in, ever the measured calmness to the tempers of his other family members. “It’s not our business and not why we’re here. So, shall we?”

With a final shake of her head, Iris took the lead this time, Rowan following stiffly behind. It was time to face his fate. 

~~~~~

Aelin tensed as she saw the Whitethorns walking over. It was the moment of truth. Her boyfriend’s arms were still around so he felt the shift in her body language. He peered over her shoulder, obviously having seen who was coming as well, and tilted her head up with his fingers.

“You say the word and I’ll very politely ask them to leave, or just one of them anyway,” Fenrys offered. 

He hadn’t been enthusiastic about the idea of Rowan coming, and it had Aelin explaining it twice for him to come around. Fenrys still wasn’t thrilled, but he trusted her judgement on this. 

“No, it’s fine,” Aelin assured him. “It’s something that needs to be done.”

“Is it?” That comment came from Lysandra who was currently rocking the youngest member of their party. Eamon Salvaterre was very much contentedly asleep.

For all of Fenrys’ understanding Aedion and Lysandra had been doubly opposed. They thought the best course of action was to ignore Rowan completely, even when that was clearly not working. 

“Please try and be at least polite, and Iris and Evander don’t deserve any ill feelings,” Aelin told them. “Just… be nice.”

“You chose to do this in public so we couldn’t cause a scene didn’t you? Smart.” Elide said and Aelin hushed her viciously as the others came into earshot.

“Hello, hello,” Iris said pleasantly. 

Aelin disentangled herself from Fenrys and stepped over to where Iris was standing so that she could introduce everyone. “Hi, Iris. This is my cousin, Aedion, and his wife Lysandra. And this is Elide who married our dear Lorcan, but we have no idea why. Had two of his children too, which is another mystery entirely. Fenrys you know, of course.”

There were waves and hellos exchange, and Aelin noticed Fenrys’ features fall a little when Iris wouldn’t quite meet his eye. Rowan lingered at the back looking so awkward and out of place Aelin almost pitied him. Almost, there was the whole abandonment thing holding back her compassion. 

“Elsie is playing with the other kids, but I’m sure once she sees you she’ll come and say hello,” Aelin said, not sure of what else to do now. 

“Right,” Evander nodded. “Rowan, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Bless Evander and his tact for leading Rowan away, most likely to talk about nothing. It relieved some of the tension but not all of it. Aelin was sure that she wouldn’t relax until she was safe at home again. She looked at the play equipment and saw Korby and Rue helping Elsie across the ropes arranged as a spider’s web. It was quite sweet how those boys doted on her. 

“So, you married Lorcan, did you?” Iris said, starting up a conversation with Elide. 

Aelin felt a tug on her hand, and was being drawn off to the side. It wasn’t a child though. 

“I don’t think Iris is very happy with me,” Fensys whispered. 

“I’m sure you’re imagining it.” Aelin did not sound convincing. 

Her boyfriend sighed. “I’m not sure what I was expecting. I guess Rowan left out the little tidbit about us.”

“Mama!” This time it was a child that took Aelin’s hand. “Mama, not watching.”

“No, sorry, I wasn’t,” Aelin dropped into a crouch, wiping off a smudge of dirt on Elsie’s face. “Did you see that Iris and Evan are here?”

The pigtails on top of her head whipped around as Elsie turned in search of her newest friends. She grinned when she spotted Iris talking to Elide. 

“Wanna go say hi?” Aelin asked.

“Yes, ‘peas,” Elsie said, not waiting for her mother before running for Iris’ legs. Luckily she didn’t collide too hard and Iris just placed a comforting hand on the little girl’s head. 

“You want to do this now?” Fenrys asked as Aelin stood. 

“Might as well.”

There had been extensive conversation about how The Introduction, as they had dubbed it, would go. Aelin wasn’t exactly comfortable sending off Elsie by herself, and on the flip side she also didn’t feel comfortable being the fifth wheel in the situation. Fenrys offered to do it instead, despite the history between him and Rowan. That had mellowed out anyway and the boys would have to be on their best behaviour with Rowan’s parent’s around. It wasn’t a question of trust, Aelin knew Elsie was entirely safe. She just wanted someone who would be wholly on Elsie’s side and be a way out if she needed it. So it was decided Fenrys would do it, keeping his distance and not interfering, but just to keep an eye on things.

Fenrys went over and charmingly sorted out the situation himself, following as Iris took Elsie’s hand and walked towards where Rowan and his father had been waiting. He kept his distance, like he said he would, hands in his pockets as he spoke to both his companions. They reached their destination and Aelin watched it all happen as Rowan crouched down to talk to Elsie. She couldn’t see Elsie’s face, but Rowan’s lit up. He smiled, it looked slightly stunned, but it was there. They talked for a few moments before Korbin darted over, full speed as he used the momentum of coming off the slide to propel himself. He spoke to Elsie, completely ignoring the adults. The little girl at least gave her audience a wave before she ran off as well. 

“I don’t know why you agreed to this.”

Aelin threw a glance over her shoulder and saw Aedion scowling in Rowan’s direction. Out of everyone Aedion had been the most vocal and oppositional to Rowan attending today. Even though Aelin had explained the reasoning for it multiple times and with her cousin being as stubborn as she was, refused to alter his opinion. 

“It’s my business, not yours,” Aelin snapped. 

“Sure, whatever,” Aedion dropped Ruben’s lunchbox on the table and then started walking away. 

“Wait, where are you going?” Aelin had her suspicions. 

Aedion turned still, stepping backward, a devilish smile on his face. “I’m just going to have a little chat.”

~~~~~

One thing Rowan didn’t want to do was force the interaction, so his father kept him company while he kept his distance from the rest of the party. He was wishing Lorcan had come, but it was only Elide with their two boys. It would just make the whole situation a whole less awkward with someone who was willing to talk to him. Rowan was definitely the outsider and he wasn’t going to push his luck. He also didn’t miss the baleful glares that Aedion was sending his way. 

“He’s her cousin, right?” His father asked and Rowan nodded. “Big brother is more like.”

“They’ve been close since they were kids,” Rowan explained.

Evander hummed something, then sat down on a nearby bench. “Looks like your mother is working her magic.”

Rowan turned, his breath catching at the sight of his mother leading his daughter by the hand—coming right for them. Elspeth was nearly bouncing with uncontained energy. Her grandmother was saying something and the toddler listened with rapt attention. Rowan was so focused on Elspeth that she didn’t notice at first that Fenrys was with them, keeping his distance but looking very much the protective Uncle. It seemed Aelin had sent a bodyguard along, Rowan wasn’t sure if he should be insulted or impressed. They all stopped a healthy distance away 

“Elsie, I want to meet someone,” Iris said. “This is my son Rowan, I think you’ve seen him around.”

Elspeth looked in between the two adults, before she settled on him and gave Rowan a wide smile. “Hi, hi, Ro-yen.”

His heart flipped in his chest to hear her try and pronounce his name in her sweet little voice. Rowan couched down so that he could see her better. “Hi, Elsie. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Officially.” 

Elspeth laughed, hugging Iris’ leg. Rowan couldn’t help his own smile at the toddler’s vivaciousness. 

She babbled something too fast for Rowan to follow along, so he just nodded instead. The moment they were having was broken by Korbin running over. “Elsie come play. Rue will catch you on the slide.”

“Yeah!” Elspeth took the hand Korbin offered, but she turned back to wave, “Bye! Bye!”

Iris gave Elspeth a little wave as Rowan stood, she said to anyone that would listen, “She’s such a darling.”

Fenrys politely excused himself. “I’ll head back.”

With nothing else to do, Rowan sat down on a bench to give his parents a break from babysitting him, telling them he’d be fine and to go chat. He started going through some emails for work when the unexpected happened. A shadow fell over him, and looking up Rowan saw Aedion standing in front of him. They hadn’t interacted since the day Rowan had arrived in Orynth and he didn’t expect this conversation to go any better than that one. The look on Aedion’s face had Rowan standing, just even the playing field.

“I don’t know why she's doing what she’s doing or what your game plan is here, but you have no idea what  Aelin has been through these past three years without you.” Aedion crossed his arms just to look more imposing. “So don’t get comfortable.”

“Your opinion is duly noted,” Rowan said, reminding himself he wasn’t here to start a fight, especially not with Aedion. Not when this whole charade was his first chance at real connection. He wanted to comment on how it actually hadn’t been his fault that he was excluded from Elspeth’s life, but that was an inflammatory comment. Luckily Rowan was saved by his phone ringing. “I have to take this.”

Aedion just nodded and let him be. The call turned out to be from a telemarketer but it still gave Rowan the out he needed. He sat on the bench again, seeing that his mother was with Elsie, the two of them searching in the grass for something. From where he sat, Rowan could hear her squeal of excitement and he couldn’t help but smile. He began wishing she’d come over to him again, or maybe he could go over to her, a few sentences wasn’t how he imagined this day going.

“Do you mind if I sit?” Elide asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“Of course not,” Rowan replied, moving down the wooden bench to make room for her. She had her youngest with her, sleeping despite the sunlight and the noise. 

“Single guy at the park,” she clicked her tongue. “Not a good look.”

“Hey, I could be some single dad with no friends and one of those kids could be mine,” Rowan said wryly. “Hold on a second.”

Elide laughed but quickly stopped herself when it disturbed the baby in her arms. 

“I come in peace, I swear,” she said as she sat down. “I never thanked you properly for what you did for Lorcan after Eamon was born. It really helped us out. Life with a newborn isn’t easy and you throw a toddler into that…” she made an exasperated sound. “You made my life a lot easier.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Rowan said, and he meant it. He didn’t know what to do with that line of conversation. 

“Rowan, I also wanted to apologise. I was not nice to you when you arrived,” Elide said. 

Rowan shrugged. “You had a perfectly good reason not to.”

“Still… I don’t know.” Elide sighed. “This whole thing is a mess.”

With nothing to say, Rowan just nodded along. A silence stretched out, it wasn’t particularly awkward and he was grateful for whatever solidarity Elide was showing him right now. 

Out of nowhere she said, “Do you want to hold him?”

Rowan’s gaze snapped over to where Elide was gently gesturing to her son. A bubble of nervousness rose in him, he hadn’t really ever held a baby before, not since he was younger and his little cousins had been placed on his lap. But regardless of all that, Rowan found himself wanting to.

“Yeah, if that's okay,” he said lamely. 

Elide in all her wisdom read every bit of nervousness he had and smiled. “I’ll help you.”

She stood so that she could rest the baby in Rowan’s arms easier. Once he had a firm grip on Eamon, Elide gently prompted his arms to where they needed to be for a more comfortable hold. The infant was cradled in his arms, looking so small and peaceful.

“Breathe, Rowan,” Elide chided. “That won’t wake him up.”

Rowan hadn't even noticed how shallow his breathing had gotten until Elide pointed it out. He did what he was told, letting out a large exhale. And she had been right, the baby didn’t wake up. Eamon wasn’t heavy, but it was a comforting sort of weight in Rowan’s arms. There was some clarity and peace that came from holding a baby that he had been totally ignorant of. 

“Ro-yen!” 

That little voice almost startled him, and Rowan might have jumped if not for his determination not to wake Eamon. Elspeth was running for him cutting across the grass and the concrete path. 

“Hey there,” Rowan said. “What are you doing Elspeth?”

Behind her, his mothering was following, just a bit slower than a rambunctious toddler. 

“I have a thing,” Elspeth declared. Then she noticed the baby in Rowan’s arms. “Oh, baby.”

So gently, she patted Eamon’s dark hair.

“Here, I’ll leave you to it,” Elide said, taking the baby back and leaving him and Elspeth alone. 

Elspeth looked up at him, green eyes shining as she smiled. “I have a thing.”

She climbed up onto the bench next to him, and even though Rowan was compelled to help her he didn’t. In the end she managed absolutely fine on her own. Now, Rowan could only watch as she reached out, picking up his hand from where it had rested on his knee. He let her pry his fingers open and put a small white flower in the middle of his palm. Elspeth’s tiny hand rested on his wrist, her finger contracting to hold him better. Rowan was still as anything, like the smallest movement might scare her away. 

“For you,” Elspeth declared. 

“Thank you,” Rowan said, still not moving a muscle. “It’s beautiful.”

“Like you!” she said, sitting back on her knees. “Mama say that everyone is beautiful.”

“Yeah,” was the only reply Rowan could come up with. 

“Just so you know,” his mother said, having finally caught up. “I in no way shape or form encouraged this.”

That stunned Rowan even further. 

“Iris is my friend,” Elspeth said. “You can be my friend too, Ro-yen.”

With that simple and heartfelt declaration Elspeth was off, back to chasing Korbin around the playground. Rowan looked down at the flower in his hand, not wanting to lose it he pulled out his wallet and slipped it inside. 

“That went well,” Iris said, smiling after her granddaughter. Rowan didn’t have the words to reply, he just nodded. Noticing his pensive state, his mother offered, “Time to go?”

Rowan gave an awkward general goodbye to the overall group, not noticing who returned it. Elspeth gave him an enthusiastic wave however from the top of the slide and he returned it. On the drive back to the hotel his parents were staying in, Rowan managed to keep up small talk all the way up to saying goodbye. He blacked all feeling until he was back in his apartment, thankfully not running into anyone else that might live in the building. 

Once inside, a myriad of feelings hit him. He could still feel the phantom touch of Elspeth touching him, like his brain was determined to remember it, to hold onto that feeling as long as he could. Rowan could also the remember the feeling of Eamon in his arms, and he began to wonder if she had felt like that. He would never know, he never got the chance to know her when he was that small.

Rowan braced his hands on the kitchen counter, barely remembering how he got there, as it felt like his chest was caving in. Today had been a tiny glimpse of what he had missed, of a little life he hadn’t had the privilege to be a part of. Something inside him longed for it, and he wasn’t afraid to admit how much that terrified him. 

Questions flooded him, close to overwhelming him. Why hadn’t Aelin told him? Why hadn’t she reached out and let him be a part of this? Why couldn’t he shake the rage that was welling inside him?

A fist slammed on the counter and Rowan hissed at the pain. It offered him some clarity enough to realise it had been him. He had been an absolute bastard, and the fallout may not have been entirely his fault but he shared the majority of it. Enough was enough, some twisted lines of fate had given Rowan this opportunity and he wasn’t about to waste his second chance.

It was time that he proved himself.

~~~~~

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[lemmilemura]

Okay this isn't perfect but it's good enough for me

All kept gender-neutral

Based on the show

When a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend throws a party and invites your friend of a friend of a- ya know what, you get it, you end up being invited too. You knew absolutely nobody there, but you found that a good thing. New people to meet, no way of destroying existing friendships, the chance of finally landing a decent guy. And, very luckily, you find one fast. You find a guy kn the kitchen who looks mighty fine, and when you enter he isn't immediately trying to get you in bed. He's witty and smart, plus not bad looking. You hit it off like a bomb, and you're really glad you came to this party.

Long story short you end up going to one of the many many rooms of the house, probably Guest Bedroom Nr. 27 if you had to guess, and 'spending some quality time together' that you will definitely not soon forget. You honestly don't know how long you were in there, but it was oh so worth it. While you didn't know much about him, you knew his name was Simon and that he was amazing in bed.

You do end up exchanging numbers and social media, after all neither of you wanted this to be a one time thing, but also weren't quite exclusive yet. You keep talking for the next couple days, learning more about eachother besides just your prefrences in bed. And if you were honest, he wasn't that bad a guy, more ways than one.

Your parents randomly decide that your current school isn't good enough, too mich drama or something, so they send you to another one, closer to where you live.

So, the coming schoolyear, you go to Bayview, knowing nobody. Just like the party, it was really only good. You went your first couple hours mostly in solitude, yes you did meet a few people, but none were in more than 1 of your classes. Lunch was when it got interesting.

You sit down at an empty table with your lunch, really just looking around at the other students, seeing a shit ton that were also at the party, atleast the ones you could recognize from the shitty lighting there was. 'Dude must be popular' you think to yourself. "Excuse me, is there space for 3 more?" You hear beside you, and see a girl you don't know yet. "Sure. Be my guest" you reply. "Thanks. They're still gettikg their food. I'm Maeve by the way. Maeve Rojas" she introduces herself.

You shake her hand and say your name. Her eyes get bigger when you say it. "Wait, you're (Y/N) (Y/L/N)? Really?" She seems giddy with excitement. "Yeeeees? Why, do we know eachother?" Surely you would remember her. Maeve takes out her phone and types a message to someone, then turns to face the queue of people waiting for food.

In line, a girl takes out her phone, so you assume she's who Maeve texted. She seems to get excited too, but not quite as much as Maeve. She starts shaking a guy next to her who you can't quite see because he's facung away, then when he looks at her she points over at you.

The guy who turns around is none other than the guy you slept with like a week ago, Simon. You're both surprised, him more than you by only a little. You wave at him, and he waves back. "Sooooooo" Maeve starts, leaning her elbows on the table and getting closer. "You're new here, right?" She has a grin on her face. "I am. Moved here about a month ago." You reply. "Cooool. Do you know anyone here?" She asks.

"Well, considering you're making that face and you immediately pointed me out to your friends, you know that I know Simon." You respond. The look on her face is one of 'shit I got caught'. "What do you know about me?" You ask. "Where to start... Ooh! Simon said you were probably the best se-" she gets whacked in the head by Simon, which shuts her up. "Don't you fucking dare." He threatens.

"Ow you dick!" You and the second girl laugh. She sits down next to Maeve and Simon sits next to you. "What did she tell you?" He asks, staring daggers at Maeve. "Nothing. Was just about to though, before you gave her a concussion." You joked. "He's like that. Don't mind him." The new girl says. "I'm Janae" "(Y/N), though I suspect you already know that." She just nods.

"What are you doing here?" Simon asks. "Oh I don't know, I think I'm about to explode." You say nonchalantly. "You fit right in." Janae says. "So, why Simon?" She asks. You raise a brow. "Why Simon what?" "Why'd you fuck him?" Simon, who was just taking a gulp of his drink, almost spits it back out. "Janae I swear to god." He coughs. "What? I'm genuinely curious!"

"Well for one he wasn't being a total creep or asshole, he's not stupid and also not bad on the eyes, luckily with and without clothes." You're once again very nonchalant, which is throwing Maeve and Janae off, how can you say something like that with a straught face? "Okay that's enough" Simon stands up and grabs you by the arm, pulling you up out of your seat, through the cafeteria and outside, to the back side of the building.

"They seem nice." You come to a quite forceful stop when he shoves you against the wall, hands on both sides of your head, effectively trapping you there. "You just waltz in here as if it's nothing, immediately talk to my friends and then say something like that? Just how bood are you?" He looks and sounds like he's about to break.

"Bold? You're the bold one, pulling me away like this. Just think about what they're probably imagining is happening right now." You wrap your arms around his neck fro added effect, and it works. "Just shut up." He says, then leans in and kisses you. God how you missed that. After that party there were countless nights where you longed for him, for his lips, his touch, his taste.

~Taglist~

@eamons-redguitar @pine-ferret