#tess polarity

[freyfall]

oh yeah guess who i ALSO drew for the first time in forever

designs subject to change because i need to give several of them new clothes

[a-titty-ninja]

「Atelier Resleriana: Forgotten Alchemy and the Polar Night Liberator - Tess テス」

[skycrorg]

Dos polares intermedios investigados por astrónomos

Al analizar la fotometría continua a largo plazo y de alta cadencia del Satélite de sondeo de exoplanetas en tránsito (TESS) de la NASA, los astrónomos han investigado UU Columbae y Swift J0939.7-3224, dos polares intermedios. Los resultados del estudio, presentados el 24 de julio en el servidor de preimpresión arXiv, arrojan información importante sobre las propiedades de estos dos…

[sunflowersteves]

come and get your love || j.m.

chapter one of ain’t no sunshine

pairing || joel miller x f!sunshine!reader

summary || someone across the Tipsy Bison had their hand on you all night. how long will Joel Miller take to do something about it?

author's note || first part of the series! all of the chapters can be read as a stand alone, but they do go in order of a time line. hope you all enjoy <3 4.1k words

warnings || jealousy, insecurities, angst, toxic people, possessiveness, fluff, 10 year age gap (joel is 51), SMUT, praise kink, oral sex (f rec), cunnilingus, fingering, squirting, [18+ only]

series masterlist || masterlist

Hail, with it, baby, 'cause you're fine And you're mine, and you look so divine

Joel’s eyes lingered on your form from across the bustling bar. It was in the middle of a Wyoming summer, so you wore a pretty light blue sundress. You could feel the cool breeze brush up against your thighs and the sun beating down on your skin just from the dusty windows. 

You came home one day, telling Joel and Ellie that you traded some old tactical pants for the frilly dress. Joel choked on his morning coffee when he caught a glimpse—Ellie just laughed and laughed. And now, you looked unbelievably perfect, all while you fluttered around the chairs and tables in the Tipsy Bison, talking with friends and newcomers. 

Although, his soft, love-sick eyes started to harden as they continued to follow you. 

The mere sight of someone flirting with you—a shoulder leaning on a support pole with sparkling eyes—was going to send his old bones into a coma. He was sure of it. Joel's chest started to burn from a sizzling rage that crept up to his cheeks. 

You were as friendly as you could be with a beer in your hand and a laugh escaping your lips. He knew you were oblivious to the flirting. You always have been. 

A couple of years ago, along the endless roads of traveling to get Ellie where she needed to go, Joel had been trying to get your attention for weeks, despite his damn self-sabotage that forced himself to avoid you in the previous months before. Ellie saw through it, though. Tommy saw it too. Hell, even Tess saw through it. The one person who had not seen just how much Joel was infatuated and hopelessly in love with you was, well, you. 

He thought that it was because he was rough and unrestrained. Joel was a jagged edge of a rock that cut deep into anyone that came near him. He thought you might not want to be with him and all of his baggage.

You were the exact polar opposite of him. You were a ray of sunshine—a burst of fresh air that knocked the breath out of his lungs. You could handle yourself out there in the depths of survival. He did not doubt that, but you were still warmhearted and sweet. You were what the rest of the world seemed to have forgotten.

Turns out, though, he couldn't have been more wrong. 

Your mind and body were washed over with every essence of Joel. When his hand was on your back to gently guide you through rugged terrain or when you instinctively grabbed onto his upper arm when a lone stranger bumped into your third-person party—your mind becomes blank.

The only thing, you said when you finally confessed, you could think about was Joel. Your body would freeze, and time would slow, your heart the only exception as it beats so rapidly you thought it might burst. So, in the end, Joel finds himself elated with pride and pure adoration that he was able to make you feel so free—so full of love.

“Are you gonna do something? Or are you just going to sit here and be ‘old-man’ sad?” 

Joel snapped out of his daze, turning his head toward Ellie. She had her eyebrow raised, with a hand on a freshly opened beer bottle. 

“Gimme that.” He muttered under his breath and swiped the bottle away from her. She let out a small, “Hey! You dick!” before huffing in frustration. “You ain’t even eighteen yet.” He slid the bottle over to Maria, who nodded back to Joel. “I’m almost eighteen!”

He huffed, ignoring Ellie’s comment. “And no. She’s got it handled.” 

You were probably the friendliest, kindest person that Ellie had ever met—especially in this shitty, fucked up world. Along the dusty gravel roads of travel, you would hold her hand and swing back and forth as Joel trailed not far behind. At night, you would shuffle your sleeping bag closer to hers, so you could laugh and giggle at her pun book until falling into a distant slumber. In the mornings, when you and Joel were keeping watch, and a lone stranger would interrupt your three-person party, you jumped in front of Ellie and pointed your shotgun at the intruder. You turned quickly, if not instantly, into a mother figure for her. 

So, Ellie knows that you have got it far from handled. She knows you are completely unsuspecting of the person that was practically throwing himself on top of you. 

“Yeah, you are so full of shit.”

Now, in your defense of the flirting, everyone in Jackson knew not to make a move on you. It has been established from the very beginning that you and Joel are made for each other. All you could ever see was each other. Always. 

So, at the end of things, when someone walked up to you with a bright smile and a gleam in their eyes that screamed “please fuck me,” you didn’t think anything of it. Your mind was no doubt in a Joel Miller trance—thoughts rolling over one another about the plains of his skin and the gruff feeling of his patchy beard on your fingertips. But when a newcomer comes along in the commune and gets introduced to everybody, that’s when they try to make their mark on you. 

“She’s fine—”

“You sure, Joel?” His eyes flickered back towards you and saw the newcomer squeeze your forearm. You think nothing of it and crack another joke at who you thought was a new friend, causing them to throw their head back in very exaggerated laughter. 

And now, Joel wasn’t sure at all—not with the bubbled-up feeling that wrapped around his chest and sunk down into his stomach. He grunted out in response to Ellie, who rolled her eyes at his demeanor. Yeah, he was far from sure. 

“Go say something, Grandpa—”

He raised his eyebrow, “hey—”

“Ellie’s right, you know.” Joel’s head whipped around at Tommy’s voice. “She doesn’t even know the guy’s flirting. She’s too trustin’ of people.” 

He gave his older brother a little smile—an all too knowing teasing smile. Joel didn’t say anything, just downing the rest of his whiskey. The ice clunked against the glass, and the two next to him just watched with anticipation. 

“Your brooding is scaring the customers away. Go say somethin’, Joel.”

He ponders for just a moment—mind circling around all of the different thoughts in his brain. He knows you are just fine. He knows you wouldn’t ever do anything of the sort.

If you actually knew that the man was flirting with you, you would stop it immediately. You’re just kind. You just wanted to make friends. He wanted you to make friends in this little town you had learned to love.

Before Joel even knows it, though, he's getting up from the stool. His own heart had taken over his body and ran home with it. He could just barely hear Ellie cheer for the old man to do something. 

His boots were heavy as he walked across the bar, his wrinkled eyes hardening with every step. His heart squeezed at the pure sight of you—a smile almost turning his frown up. That is until the squeezing of his other thoughts from the man right in front of you suffocated his chest. 

“Joel!” 

God, you sounded so sweet. Your eyes lit up so bright he thought he might be blinded. Whatever you were talking about with your new friend, it completely went out the window when you heard the stomps of his boots. 

“Hi, darlin’.” 

His hand ghosted the small of your back, and it almost caused you to shiver. You looked up at him with a pretty smile, opening your mouth to let him in on the conversation. “We were just talking about patrols. I was saying how we saw that bear with the three cubs the other day! and—”

“Can we help you?” The man, you knew as Brad, scowled right up at Joel for interrupting the conversation the two of you were having earlier. Oh, Joel did not like Brad. The scrunch of his nose as he tried to challenge Joel—as if you were a possession—was kicking up a deep rage in his chest. 

Joel opened his mouth to respond but was met with a very enthusiastic smile from you. You looked so excited. “This is Joel! He’s my—”

Brad rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s great. Could he leave now?”

Joel’s back stretched at the complete disrespect. He could handle people being mean to him just fine. When it comes to you, however, he wouldn’t tolerate anything of the sort. You were the thread that kept Ellie and Joel sane with your homemade gifts and fluttering smile. No one was going to ruin that on his watch. 

Joel watched as your bright, smiling face fell.

“Oh.” 

You felt your heart deflate from being interrupted again. It took a lot for someone to build you down, and Brad had managed to do it in no time. You thought you had made a new friend to hang out with. You thought you were finally getting along with someone in Jackson. 

Watching your face fall made something click in Joel’s head. His burning glare never left Brad’s face as he continued to run his mouth about Joel ‘needing to leave’ or something like that. This is why he hated newcomers. They think they could take advantage of your kind gestures and bring you down with them. 

Brad looked at you and then Joel—as if something finally fits in his head. He clicked his tongue, “I have been trying to get you home all night. Don’t tell me you were with him the whole time?”

“What?”

You looked bewildered at the insinuation of ever getting with Brad—let alone anyone that isn’t Joel. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

If Joel wasn’t preoccupied with watching Bradley’s every move, he would’ve snorted at your change in demeanor. You could be the biggest angel there is, but there is no doubt a fire lit right inside of you.

“I have been here with you all fucking night. You think I’d waste my time talking about shitty flowers with you?” His lips curled into a sniveling smirk.

Your hand clenched by your side but was caught as Brad’s hand went to tighten itself around your wrist. You tried to wriggle your way out of his grip, but it felt too firm. “Why don’t you ditch the old man and come with me, sunshine.”

Joel saw the hand on your wrist—the bruising grip he had on you. He saw the sickly, lust-filled eyes that the man was giving you. He knew you could handle yourself. You could throw this random man over your shoulder like he was nothing. 

But something struck him even deeper.

Sunshine.

That was what Joel called you in the secret comfort of whispered feelings. It was what Joel called you when you were badly injured, and he needed to disinfect the wound. The first time it popped into his head was when you were dancing around with Ellie underneath the morning sun. The cute nickname just stuck, and it was his.

Only his. 

Joel snapped in an instant. The long years of survival worked quickly in his brain. He bunched up Brad’s collar and shoved him hard against the wooden pole—jolting his hand from your wrist. “Get your fucking hands off of her.”

You gasped at the lightning speed of Joel’s hand on Brad’s chest, but you weren’t too phased. Adrenaline shot through your chest and spread down to your toes—eyes locking on Joel’s crinkled brows and hard-set glare. 

“Yeah? The fuck you gonna do?” Brad spat.

The bar went silent at the altercation, eyes darting to watch the scene play out. You didn’t pay any attention, though. Your eyes were on Joel. Just Joel.

Brad squirms a bit underneath Joel’s stare, but he seems to be trying to remain tough. Joel’s grip never wavered and almost shoved him further into the pole. 

“If you ever touch her again, I’ll break your fuckin’ arms.” His accent slurred together with each click of his tongue. 

You could feel the fire pulsating through his lips; you could feel it radiate off of his clenched fist. Joel squeezed even tighter against his neck, almost suffocating some of the air in Brad’s throat. He then let out a wheeze, eyes widening at just how serious Joel Miller can be. 

“You got it?” Brad’s eyes squinted at Joel before looking into the crowd around him. Terrified of all the stares and the overwhelming frown on people’s faces—and quite frankly, Joel—Brad finally backs off. 

“Got it.” He said under his breath with a slight cough. Joel very slowly let go of his collar in caution of the man. Brad just nodded, now refusing to make eye contact with the two of you, before sauntering off out of the bar.

Not far behind, Tommy and Maria were alert and watched Brad’s every movement. They had both of your backs as soon as they saw Joel shove him into the pole. Even Ellie was on high alert, which almost caused her to grab the knife in her pocket. 

Joel turned to you in an instant. His eyes glossed over your entire form, grasping every single detail to make sure you were okay. His eyes stopped at the slight tear in your favorite dress. He pursed his lips in annoyance, but then his eyes locked onto your wrist. 

“C’mon. I need to see your wrist.”

═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═

He took you into the back where the aging room was—old barrels full of whiskey and rum stacked high along the walls. He sat you down on a wooden table and went to go find some supplies. 

You sat there, feeling like you were in trouble. Joel hadn’t said a word, and your mind was starting to race at the possibilities of what he was thinking. While it wasn’t abnormal for Joel to act like this, you knew something wasn’t right.

You could see it in his calculating eyes and furrowed eyebrows—the harsh smile lines on his cheeks almost seemed deeper. You could see it in the way that his hand trembled when he moved some papers to the other end of the table.

You felt stupid for not seeing that Brad was flirting with you. God, you felt so dumb. You really thought that you were making a new friend. You felt even dumber that you couldn’t see the hostility in his eyes, either.

What was Joel thinking? Did he hate you? You knew you mistake people’s flirty gestures for friendly acts way too often.

Did it hurt him? Tears started to form on your lash line, and that sunken feeling in your chest only deepened. 

Joel finally came back with a pack of ice and a little box of first aid. He wrapped a rag around the ice so it wouldn’t burn your skin. 

“Here.” He gently placed it onto your skin, and you went to hold it down. You feel your eyebrow twitch in a cringe at the already bruised surface. You hear Joel digging through the kit in haste—no doubt trying to find some kind of ointment.

You closed your eyes. Your chest was heaving up and down at the thought that Joel had to sit here and take care of you, all while you fucked everything up. 

“I’m sorry.”

Joel’s rummaging through the first aid abruptly stopped. He turned to you with confused furrowed brows, but then his eyes widened. He saw your glossy eyes as you tried to avoid his stare. He saw the way your lip slightly wobbled while you tried to hide your emotions.

“It’s all my fault.” 

You said barely under a whisper, but you were on the side of his good ear. He heard you, and damn, his heart couldn’t have been more crushed. You didn’t do a single thing wrong, and yet you blamed yourself.

“It ain’t your fault. None of it was your fault.” He could tell, though, by the look in your eye that you weren’t convinced. He goes to open his mouth, but you beat him to the punch.

“But I should have known!” You flexed out your hand to emphasize the situation. “I should have said something or got the fucking hint!”

You let out a fast breath, eyes darting across the wood floor. His eyes flickered to the ice pack you set back on the table. “I should—I shouldn’t have been so nice! Maybe I could be less—”

Joel snapped back at the realization of what you were going to say. “Don’t you dare.” His hand instinctively lays on top of your thigh. “Don’t you ever change for people like him.”

“But I–” His hand rested so soft on your cheek, and whatever you were going to say died on your tongue. He was inches away from you now, your chests almost touching together. 

“I know my words are shit, but you are everything, darlin’. You are the kindest and brightest person that I’ve ever known.” He finally rested his forehead against yours. “Don’t you even change for me, darlin’.”

You nodded against his forehead with a small smile on your face. You knew he was right. Of course, he was right. Brad was the shithole, not you. 

He leaned in to brush his lips against yours—feverish and light as you felt the scruff of his beard against your cheeks. He licks into your mouth, and you find yourself pulling him in closer from his flannel collar. 

His tongue swirled through your mouth from desperation starting to lock inside his chest. You have made him feel all kinds of things over the years, but pure love was something he still couldn’t get used to. He needed to feel you—needed to touch you. After the searing memory of Brad’s hand on your wrist, he needed to be inside of you.

“Sweet girl,” he almost purred into your mouth, “need you.” 

You nodded into his lips. A whine escaping them seemed to be the only thing that your brain could come up with. In a mere matter of seconds, Joel was able to turn you into a puddle. 

“Need to hear it, darlin’.”

You don’t miss a beat. “Need you, Joel. Please—”

He bunches up the silky dress, and his eyes shine bright as he sees your pretty laced panties. They were dark—a black onyx—that made Joel want to drool. They rested so well on your hips—so tight. He knew there was a wet patch near your core, too.

His nimble fingers shoved your panties aside to dig—just a little—into your dripping folds. He groaned, rough and bold against the plains of your ear. “J-Joel—”

You knew by the slow, agonizing pace that his hands seemed to feel you in, Joel was going to fuck you stupid. He always got slow and steady when he knew he was going to take his sweet, sweet time. 

“Oh! Oh fuck,” the pads of his fingers move to the nub of your clit. They swirled in small circles, and your hands gripped his shoulders so tightly. Your jaw hangs slack as you feel the pleasure blossom through your stomach to your chest.

“That’s it. Yeah. Does that feel good, pretty girl?”

He was smirking, just a little. You could tell by the sound of his voice, but you see the way his lips slightly curled when your eyes flickered up to his.

“Feels so good, Joel—so—so good.” His other hand spread your legs a little wider for him, relishing in the soft pillows of your skin and curves. He gave your thigh a small squeeze before sinking onto his knees.

Your eyes were about to pop out of your head. “Joel—” You warned, honestly concerned about his knees, but the thought quickly left when his other hand shuffled your underwear down to your ankles. He dragged your hips forward so that your ass was hanging just barely off of the wobbly table. 

“Fuck. Look at you drippin’ for me.”

His eyes shined underneath the yellow-hazed lights. His head goes to dip into your folds, and he moans—sending a rough vibration to your folds. You tasted just the same—earthy and sour and so so sweet.

His hand dug into your thigh—the pad of his thumb was pressing deep into your skin. His tongue flicked and swirled to gather up that slick that dripped from your folds. He felt addicted to you—you tasted, felt, looked, and sounded so ethereal. 

“Oh, Joel—” He could have you on his tongue for the rest of his fucking life. The way you call out his name—hands desperately grabbing at his salt and peppered hair and whimpers leaving your lips. “F-Fuck, I–”

Your brain became even mushier with each flick and whirl of his tongue around your folds. “Can’t get enough of this pussy.” He gruffed.

His mouth moved to your swollen clit, and your hips involuntarily jumped—slightly closing around his head. He pried your thighs open with his rough, used hands before shoving them over his shoulders. 

You didn’t have time to react, though. Not when he was moving a finger to tease your folds. “Joel! Oh my god—” You could only whimper and shout his name. You moan, you gasp, and you whimpered even more. 

It’s all you could think about. Joel Joel Joel. He was all you ever seem to think about. 

His finger slid easily into your sopping cunt, and you moaned into the air. His tongue lapped and sucked against your swollen nub—finger simultaneously curling into you.

“Oh, Joel, I-I can’t—”

His mouth left you, only for a moment, but a whine escaped your lips.

“Gonna cum already, darlin’? Hmm?” He inserted another finger without warning, giving that even longer stretch of your walls. 

You gasped, nonsense mumbling from your tongue. He was sure you said his name in there somewhere. He felt his cock twitch at the sparkle in your eyes and the essence of ecstasy that stretched across your glistening, sweaty skin. His long, thick fingers fucked into over and over—tongue swirling across your pretty little clit.

“C’mon, cum for me. That’s it. You’re such a good girl—my good girl.” You hiccuped, head slung back as your walls continued to clench around his fingers. “You can do it, hmm? Cum on my mouth, sunshine.”

You gasped loudly—body short-circuiting and spasming as the orgasm washed over your entire body. Joel’s name was like a mantra stuck on your tongue. Your body felt white-hot and sticky as your juices flushed against Joel’s chin and your inner thighs. 

Sunshine. Sunshine. You heard that over and over again. He watched with those thick eyes as you came undone. And wow, you looked so pretty. Your gasps and moans, your body shuddering from the shattering pleasure that spreads up and down your body. He wants to remember moments like this instead of the dark ones. 

As you came down from your high, you looked down at Joel. Your strong legs pulled him in a bit closer, and you leaned down to press a kiss to his nose. He just looked up at you—no doubt he had the biggest heart eyes on you that anyone had ever seen. 

You started to laugh from the enormous high—cum running down your legs and the fact that not even fifteen minutes ago, you were hassled by another man. The whole situation seemed funny to you now. 

Joel cracked his own smile, just for you. He caressed your cheek and rubbed his thumb back and forth. “Let’s go home, sunshine.” 

You weren’t even sure he caught himself the second time when he called you that. It just flowed off of his tongue so easily.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn’t help but smile as wide as you could. You knew what that meant—what he was insinuating. A fire lit inside of your chest. Damn, you could never get used to the way Joel would make you feel.

He grumbled under his breath. “Shut up. I got it.”

Yeah, he definitely didn’t. He needed your help not two seconds later, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You were Joel’s. Joel was yours.

[littlelou22]

you’re my sunshine | joel miller x fem!reader

summary: you and joel are polar opposites. you are sunshine while he is cloudy. but you’re his sunshine and he doesn’t quite know how to handle that.

warnings: insecure!joel, undefined age gap (reader is in 20s, joel is canon age), judgy ass jackson people

word count: 2.5k

divider credit: @saradika

requested: yes by the lovely and inspiring @pedgeitopascal 🫶🏻 find it here

a/n: second fic, lets gooooo. requests are open, so drop one if you would like (i'm still new at this so i may not do all of them, just trying to get back into writing first)

The people of Jackson were stumped by the three newcomers. 

Well, more specifically, they were stumped by you.

They didn’t understand how someone like you came along with the man and the girl.

There was Ellie. Even though she is only fourteen, the girl was wise beyond her years. A young girl that possessed the vocabulary of a sailor. Rough around the edges. Strong willed, incredibly witty, and as sarcastic as one could possibly be. 

There was Joel. A man hardened by the cards that life seemed to have dealt him, emotionally stunted, and just plain grumpy. Borderline rude to the members of the community, apart from his brother and sister in law. Over cautious of each and every person in the community.

And then there was you.

A woman who embodies the word sunshine. An optimist. The type to always lend a hand whenever needed. Smiles constantly adoring your face. You can find good in any situation, even during the apocalypse.

So it came as a surprise when the community found out that you were dating the grumpy old man.

If someone had asked when you and Joel had gotten together, you wouldn’t know what to tell them. You don’t know how or when it happened, it just was. It had always been. 

The two of you met a few years prior. Tess insisted that they needed another partner, a younger woman to attract a different type of customer. At first, Joel didn’t care. If that’s what the girl would do, then that was that. But when Tess brought you home, it shifted for him. He couldn’t stand the thought of the men in the QZ doing business with someone as sweet as you. As pure as you.

So he looked out for you and in turn, you did the same. Quick hellos turned into small talk which turned into conversations. A pickup turned into a hangout which turned into you going to sleep in his bed every night. It just happened.

You were Joel’s and he was yours. It was simple.

Simple to you, at least. You loved him, it was obvious to anyone around you. You looked at him as if he was the center of the universe. You told him as much, as frequently as he would allow you to. It didn’t bother you too much that he never said it back. Regardless of the small and doubting voices in your head, you knew he felt the same. 

Joel, even after years with you by your side, still didn’t quite understand how someone like you could be with someone like him. How someone like him could deserve to be with someone like you. After everything he had done before you, everything he had done to protect you. 

But you were. And it isn’t that Joel is complaining, because he is not, he just doesn’t know what to do about it. How to act around you in public with the prying (and equally as confused as him) eyes.

Everywhere the two of you went, the eyes followed. The thoughts of the community consumed Joel’s mind. He knew what they thought of him, hell, what they thought about Ellie. And while he couldn’t stand how they viewed his surrogate daughter, he understood why they viewed him.

He wasn’t kind like you. He didn’t acclimate like how you did. He didn’t offer his skills to better the community. He avoided going to the movie nights unlike you, who embraced the chance to mingle with the community. 

Joel didn’t miss the way the people would shy away from you whenever he would approach. How their conversation would abruptly end with a forced goodbye, as if Joel was an intruder to his own relationship.

As the time went by, Joel began to doubt himself. How could someone like you want to be with him? With a past like his? He wasn’t worthy of your attention. Of your time. Of your love. 

Hell, Joel couldn’t even bring himself to tell you that he loved you. Even after all the years you’ve spent together. He did, he loved you more than he ever thought was possible after Sarah died. He just didn’t know how to tell you.

Joel wasn’t a man of words, he was a man of action. He showed you that he loved you. Whether it was fixing you your favorite tea in the morning or building bookshelves for the many books you’ve found on patrol, he showed his love through acts of service. 

But he was beginning to doubt that it was enough for you.

It started at the Tipsy Bison. Joel had promised to help Tommy repair one of the decks to a house. You weren’t much help with a task like this, to your dismay, so you had wandered off to town with the promise of meeting the brothers when they had finished for the night. 

Ellie opted to stay back at the house, feigning sickness. You could see right through her act but knew how the girl had been struggling since arriving in Jackson. How she had been struggling before the three of you even got here. So, in spite of Joel’s obvious displeasure, you granted her the solace that she was silently requesting.

You were sitting at the bar with a group of women, discussing the upcoming holiday and how the town would celebrate it, when the Miller brothers made their appearance in the establishment. 

And while your smile grew at the sight of your man, the women around you seemed to tense. As Joel approached you, the conversation faded into quiet murmurs.

“Hi babe,” you greeted as he stopped in front of your stool. You watched as his cheeks flushed at the pet name, the smile you wore only growing. “You and Tommy finish the deck?”

“Not yet,” Joel responded, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He nodded to the women surrounding you, only receiving a tight lipped smile back in response. “Got too dark and Maria needed him home.”

“The girls and I were just talking about how we could convince Tommy to dress up as Santa for the kids this year. Wouldn’t that be sweet?” You were excited about the idea, evident by the happiness lighting up your face.

“The sweetest,” Joel replied, shifting foot to foot under the watchful eyes of the women around you.

As you filled Joel in on the other plans for the upcoming celebration, the three other women that you had been planning with watched the interaction. It was almost comical to Joel – he was labeled as the rude one, yet these women were looking back and forth between the two of you with obvious confusion. Suspicion towards Joel. And, if Joel was reading it right, one of them was wearing a shade of disgust. 

Joel knew he wasn’t the best type of person in the world but to be looked at with disgust seemed a bit too far for him.

“Joel?” Your voice startled him from his thoughts. You had slipped your coat on before beginning to rise from the barstool you had been perched upon. “You ready to get back home? I want to make sure Ellie is okay.”

With a smile and a wave, you bid the ladies a goodbye before turning to your boyfriend. You watched as he forced a nod at them before he began to make his way towards the exit. Falling into step with him, you slip your hand into his coat pocket, lacing your fingers along his with a squeeze. Eyes on his face as you watch him let out a shuddering breath, shoulders tensing even more than they usually were.

You may be an optimist that sees the best in not only every person that you encounter but in the world as well, even if it is a fucked up mess thanks to the cordyceps. You may be a cheerful person with a smile on your face more often than not, even in the face of danger. But you weren’t stupid.

And you certainly weren’t blind.

You saw how the people in Jackson treated Joel. How they looked down upon him. He may not be totally involved in the community, but he helped where he could and when he could. The people of this town operated on favors, but it was hard to fulfill one for someone when you were on patrol as much as Joel was.

Everyone took rotations, yourself included. But Joel took it a step further. Maybe it was his incessant need to protect Ellie and yourself, maybe it was his nature. Or maybe it was just what he thought he could best provide to the community for. Joel was outside the wall more than he was inside of it, patrolling new and old areas alike to ensure the community’s safety. Going on what seemed like endless supply runs to restock any medication, materials, and other things that anyone could potentially even need.

Not only did you see everything Joel did for the community, even if they couldn’t share that view, but you saw how Joel treated Ellie. How he treated you.

How he wasn’t good with words or how he didn’t know how to show affection. But you knew, regardless of if he put it into words, how much he loved his two girls.

You knew he loved the two of you through the surprises he would bring back from patrol for the two of you. Whether it was a book you had mentioned liking in your childhood or hunting down every last remaining can of Chef Boyardee for Ellie, he showed you. Whether it was the old guitar he had traded to get for Ellie on her birthday or the singular flower he would pick for you ‘just because’, he showed you.

But regardless of the bountiful thanks you both had given him, you can see the doubt pooling in his eyes. The disappointment eating away at him at the thought of not being able to give the two of you more. The constant guilt of his past actions. You knew what he thought of himself and you knew that he didn’t think he could ever deserve you.

You just didn’t share that opinion.

So when you hear the women you were previously conversing with snickering about your boyfriend as you walk towards the exit, something snapped within you.

Slipping your hand from his, you practically march your way back to the women, leaving a perplexed Joel behind, watching from the door of the restaurant. Watching as your hand smacks onto the bar top in front of them, leaning over to sneer at each of them. You didn’t get like this often, preferring kindness, but when you did, Joel couldn’t help but gawk at you.

“You may think you know him,” your voice is as cold as your glare. “But you couldn’t even begin to understand the type of person that Joel is. Might I remind you that none of you have been on the other side of that wall, so you truly have no idea what he does every damn day to make sure that you can sit here on your asses and gossip like small town bitches.”

The women before you go silent, jaws dropping at your words. They hadn’t expected someone like you to snap. But the people of Jackson, especially those that were not on patrol rotation, had no idea what it was like on the outside. You had to do what you had to do, regardless of your sunny disposition. Just because you were usually radiating positivity didn’t mean you wouldn’t bite back when necessary.

You take their lack of a response as an answer. “Next time you want to judge someone based on their first impression, maybe try to understand what they’ve been through to get to this point first. If you went through even a fraction of the shit that the three of us went through to get here, you’d actually think before you spoke.”

“That’s not what we meant–”

“Then what did you mean by the constant glares? The whispering when you think no one can hear you? Running away the second you see him?” You raise your eyebrows at them, challenging them to respond. “Please tell me what you meant, I’m sure you had a great reason.”

Their mouths opened and closed, searching for the words but found none. Still in shock over your outburst.

“That’s what I thought. Let’s keep this from happening again, yeah?” With that, you turn and head towards the door. As you pass Joel, you grab his hand and tug him outside. Once outside, you take a deep breath of fresh air, halting in your steps in effort to calm down your racing thoughts.

“W-What was that?” He asks, equally as stunned as the women that got told off by you.

You shrug. “I don’t like the way they talk about you. Or about Ellie.”

Joel shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest as he stands in front of you. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” you answer simply. “I know how it affects you. How you think about yourself as is. They only make it worse and that’s not okay with me.”

“You can’t blame them,” Joel sighs, rubbing his gloved hand down his face. “They aren’t wrong.”

“They are wrong, baby,” you tug his hands from his face, replacing them with your own by cupping his cheeks. “You have no idea how far from the truth they are, how far you are.”

You thumb his cheeks, a small smile playing on your lips as you think about him. “I know you don’t view yourself in the brightest light, Joel, but you are everything to me. You and Ellie are the best things in my life, I wouldn’t trade the two of you for anything in the world. I would do anything, say anything to make sure that you know how much you mean to me.”

His eyes are glassy as his hands slowly make their way to your wrists, swallowing hard at your words. You know he struggles to hear it, to hear any sort of praise that would go against his thoughts.

“You’re a man of action, not a man of words,” you whisper. “Let me show you how much I love you.”

Leaning up on your tiptoes, you press your lips to his. Joel stiffens, not used to the public display of attention. You hold firm, sliding your hands off his cheeks to wrap around his neck in an effort to pull him closer to you. After a moment, you feel him relax, hands shifting to your hips as he molds his lips against yours.

The two of you stay entangled in each other for a few more moments, lips dancing with one other. With one last peck, Joel pulls back, eyes shining as he takes your swollen lips and flushed skin. He looks at you in wonder, thumb brushing against your bottom lip.

“I love you too,” Joel whispers. “My sunshine.”

And for the first time in a long time, the smile on your face is mirrored on his.

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 11

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness, misunderstanding, breakdown

I'm sorry you had to wait for this new chapter for so long. I hope I will write 11 much faster ;) Sorry, I tried 🥺

Part 11

You woke up and felt the cold take over your body. You wrinkled your nose. You were sure Joel had stoked the furnace before you went to bed, but you were too sleepy to worry about that now. You wanted to spend a few more minutes to sleep, so you snuggled into Joel's warm body, hugging his back. You heard him purr softly in contentment. Then you pressed your icy nose into the back of his neck and heard a hiss.

"Brat…" he croaked sleepily and you giggled.

"It's cold," you replied innocently.

You were about to ask him if he had actually put more wood into the furnace when your son ran into your bedroom happily shouting:

"Snow! Snow! There's snow everywhere! Lots of…"

Then you understood everything, it snowed overnight, and winter in Jackson had begun in earnest. You sighed with dissatisfaction and closed your eyes, burying your face in Joel's warm back. For your son, snow meant fun, and for you, it meant more work. You knew you'd have to go to the stables earlier to make sure there wasn't too much snow on the roof and that the horses were well secured.

Teddy jumped on your bed and started laughing happily. Joel pulled him to his chest and ruffled his hair.

"You say it's snowing, bear cub… Will you turn into a polar bear now?"

The little boy squealed happily.

"Yes… Shall we build a snowman, Daddy?"

Even though you weren't happy with the snow and cold, you couldn't help but smile widely. Joel and Teddy's interaction was always so sweet and adorable. And you knew Joel's chest would swell every time he heard the word "daddy."

"Sure! We'll build ten snowmen! But first… We'll eat breakfast and put you into something warm clothes."

Teddy was so happy he didn't even protest.

"I'll wake up Ellie and tell her it's snowing!"

Before you could react, the boy had already run to his adoptive, older sister. Joel chuckled to himself. He was sure that the teenage girl wouldn't be happy with this wake-up call, but at the same time, she would succumb to Teddy's charm and agree to build a snowman with him.

You sighed and hugged Joel even tighter, sliding your hands under his shirt. You felt his body react to your touches and heard his muffled growl. He grabbed your hands gently and moaned:

"Don't tease… Please…"

You felt remorse. You knew that sometimes your touch was unbearable for him. It wasn't that he didn't like the closeness. You just didn't realize sometimes how arousing your innocent caresses were. And at the same time, they were torture because they never led to anything more.

You removed your hands and sighed softly.

"Sorry."

Joel immediately turned to you. He pulled you to his chest and kissed your forehead. You could feel his bulge in his pants and it made you feel even worse.

"I'm sorry…" You said again, almost crying this time.

Joel immediately started caressing your face.

"Hey, hey… We talked about it. Don't apologize. I'm a big boy and… I can handle it."

You sighed and nodded. You didn't want to know the details of how Joel dealt with it. Although you had some idea.

"It's just that sometimes… I wish it were different…" you said with obvious disappointment in your voice.

Joel looked at you gently and kissed your nose.

"But it is what it is, and I love you no matter what."

His words filled you with warmth and you couldn't help but smile a little. You wanted that moment to last forever. The two of you in a warm bed, in your own little bubble of comfort.

"Joel! Your son is hungry and it is your responsibility to feed him and me!"

You both laughed as you heard Ellie scream from the hall. Joel rolled his eyes and you sighed. The peace is over. You groaned and got out of the warm blanket.

"I have to go to the stables early."

Joel nodded and handed you your warm sweater while he started putting on his jeans.

"I'll take care of everything. I don't start patrol until the evening."

You felt a slight twinge in your heart. You didn't like it when Joel had evening patrols. This meant he would come back late at night and you would have to fall asleep without his warmth. This day couldn't get any worse… . After three hours of work at the stables, you decided to go home for lunch and check how your boys were doing. But the closer you got to home, the faster your heart started beating and your brain began to go crazy. Joel stood and watched Teddy play with Rose, and next to him stood Emily, Tess's doppelgänger. You felt how your body instantly heated up and felt dizzy. And Joel seemed so… Happy?

The closer you got, the slower you walked, as if your feet were sinking into the ground. Your son saw you first. He smiled widely and waved at you.

"Hello, Mommy!"

Joel and Emily immediately turned around and you forced a smile and waved back to your little boy. Your baby boy didn't deserve your sour face. However, you couldn't be so relaxed when you stood in front of THIS woman. You murmured a greeting and really tried your hardest not to explode. It was so baseless, but… Emily was taller than you, more graceful, and… That damn face of young Tess.

"Are you having fun?"

Joel raised his eyebrows as if he didn't fully understand your question, so you added:

"With kids…"

Emily didn't seem to sense your baseless hatred because she smiled broadly and said,

"Oh yes, the kids are so happy and Joel builds great snowmen."

You wanted to imitate her: Oh, Joel builds great snowmen… But you bit your tongue.

"He was a builder after all."

God, You felt like the situation was getting more and more awkward by the second. You couldn't have given a better answer. Joel decided to save you because he chuckled softly and wrapped his arm around you.

"Finally, my skills from my previous life are useful for something."

You felt a little better when Joel showed you affection in front of 'Tess', but her next words ruined everything.

"Do you work in the stable?"

"Huh?"

"You have straw on your clothes."

You felt your blood boil. You wanted to strangle her. Maybe her words weren't meant to be malicious.

"Yes…" You muttered, then quickly added. "I just came for a short break. I'll eat something and go back to the horses. Have fun."

You walked away from them and had a hard time keeping yourself from slamming the door.

"You have straw on your clothes…" You said mockingly as you entered the kitchen.

Who was she to tell you that? At least your dirty clothes were proof that you worked, and what was she doing besides praising Joel's snowman-building skills?

"Ugh!"

You threw your jacket on the chair and opened the fridge, even though you had actually lost your appetite. You were about to stand in front of the living room window to watch Joel and Emily when he came back. He immediately gave you a worried look. He took off his jacket, hung it on the door, and walked over to you.

"It's okay, you seem kind of… Annoyed."

You nodded quickly and tried to swallow the bitterness you felt in your throat.

"Where's Teddy?"

"He went with Rose for a while… I'll pick him up in half an hour."

You couldn't help but groan in frustration, and with Joel's questioning look you replied:

"I don't like her. I mean, Emily… Not, Rose."

Joel seemed surprised by your answer.

"Why?"

"She said my clothes were dirty."

He couldn't help but giggle softly, but seeing your glare, he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Babe, I think you misunderstood her. Emily is new here and she's curious. She noticed the straw, so… She wanted to confirm her suspicions."

You huffed, still feeling frustrated. Joel began to rock your hips, something he had learned to do when you were pouting. And you had to admit it always worked. Then he kissed your forehead and said in a calm, tender voice:

"I think you're tired. What if we do this? After I pick up Teddy, I'll go with him to the stables and help you with your work…"

You leaned against his strong chest and inhaled his scent. His offer was so tempting. Not to mention you'd be keeping an eye on him then.

"But you have your own duties… And patrol…"

Joel smiled to himself. He knew he already had you.

"It's okay. I can handle everything."

Of course, you felt a little guilty, but the feeling of happiness and contentment prevailed. . But nothing changed the fact that you felt uneasy every time you saw Emily close to Joel. It was like an icy spike was sticking into your stomach. You were afraid. Sometimes you tried to think logically. Joel loved you and did a lot to be with you again. You wanted to believe that he wouldn't break your heart again. But sometimes your obsession won.

And it wasn't like you didn't have the basics. Teddy really liked Rose, so your neighbor had plenty of opportunities to smile at Joel. In addition, Emily and Joel became patrol partners. When you found out about it, you thought you were going crazy, and you even tried to convince Joel that it shouldn't be like this.

"I can go on patrols with you," you said one night as you were going to bed.

"What?" Joel gasped.

"I thought I could go on patrols with you… I've had less work with horses lately and…"

"NO!" Joel interrupted you harshly, and upon seeing your hurt expression, he immediately grabbed your hands. "Honey… What about Teddy? If we're both on patrol, he'll must be under someone's care… Besides… If something happened to you…"

You huffed and rolled your eyes.

"Something can happen to anyone. Emily also has a small child and she goes on patrol."

Joel sighed heavily.

"But Rose, she's not my baby… And although I wouldn't want Rose to lose her mother, my worry for Emily is incomparable to what I would feel if I had you next to me."

You felt like you had already lost. You were obsessed with 'Tess' and he had valid arguments, but you kept going anyway.

"It wouldn't be so bad… I can handle it… I've been coping on my own for so many years."

Joel looked at you with a small smile. He brushed the hair away from your forehead.

"Honey, don't be offended, but last week you were screaming because you found a dead rat in the basement."

You pouted and looked offended. It wasn't fair.

"It surprised me!"

Joel couldn't help but chuckle.

"A dead rat? How could it surprise you if it wasn't moving? Did it speak to you from the afterlife?"

You crossed your arms over your chest and stuck your tongue out at him.

"And yet it surprised me."

Joel shook his head, placed his hands on your hips, and started rocking them. God! You hated him for it. On top of that, his voice became so soft that it wrapped around you like a warm blanket.

"Will you tell me what's really going on? Because I can't believe you suddenly want to freeze your ass off on patrol."

He hit the spot. But you couldn't tell him the truth, certainly not the whole truth.

"I… I just wish I could spend more time with you."

Joel cooed and pulled you to his chest. Then he kissed your head.

"Hey, you know, I'll talk to Tommy. In the spring, I can help build and repair houses. Then I'd be closer and I'd always be home before sunset. What do you think?"

You couldn't deny that you felt a surge of peace. His words and gestures made your anxiety melt away for a moment. You smiled and nodded.

"Sounds good."

Joel hugged you even tighter as if to assure you of his love.

"Then hold on for two more months." . Hold on… Don't go crazy. It was easier said than done. You didn't know if you were oversensitive or if Joel and Emily had really gotten closer… Standing by the window in the living room suddenly became your new passion. Whenever Joel went out on patrol, or simply left the house, you immediately stood by the window and watched to see if he had met Emily. You watched closely how they greeted each other. How far apart were they? What Emily looked like. Is she more, or less like Tess, today?

It became your obsession. You didn't even try to get to know Emily better. You immediately attributed all of Tess's traits to her: conceited, mean, resentful of you, and possessive of Joel. You felt like you moved to Boston.

"Y/N."

You jumped when you heard Ellie's voice. You almost forgot that the teenage girl was still at home.

"Hmm?"

"You're standing at the window again… It's about Emily."

You sighed heavily and nodded. Then you looked at the couch where the teenager's sweatshirt lay, the sweatshirt you were supposed to fix. You gave Ellie an apologetic look.

"I know what you're going to say, that I'm obsessed… And I guess you're right. I'm about to take care of the hole in your sweatshirt."

Ellie bit her lip and looked at you with a look you knew well. Something was bothering her.

"It's not about the sweatshirt, is it?"

The girl shook her head.

"The thing is… I don't want to say something that might ruin everything ."

You walked closer to her and looked at her carefully.

"Ellie, you better tell me. If you think something is wrong, then… It's better to face the truth because it can only get worse."

The teen nodded and you were honestly expecting some sort of teenage problem, but her next words shook you.

"I thought you were obsessed with this Emily because she looks like Tess… But yesterday… Yesterday I saw Joel and her walk into the bar and I heard her say, 'I can't believe I agreed to this date, it's crazy'…" Seeing the look on your face, she quickly added. "But maybe… I guess it's nothing, you know… Y/N… I don't want you to fight with Joel, but… I thought I should tell you…"

You took a deep breath and nodded. You didn't want to fall apart right in front of her. You didn't want her to feel worse. You understood her. She was like a child who wanted to remain loyal to each of her parents, but at the same time had to choose a side.

"It's good that you told me… I'll talk to Joel�� Take it easy. I'll find out what it was about…"

Ellie didn't seem entirely convinced, but she nodded and you smiled softly at her.

"Don't worry…"

"Can I do something?" she asked.

"If you could pick up Teddy from the common room and leave him with Claudia before going to Dina…"

Ellie nodded and you breathed a sigh of relief. You didn't want any of the children to witness your confrontation with Joel. . When you were left alone, you began to pace anxiously around the house. You knew there were about two hours, until Joel returned and that in those two hours you would go crazy with all your thoughts.

First, you tried to control yourself and rationalize everything. You had a plan that when Joel showed up, you would just ask him about the situation and that would be it. But with each passing minute, your anxiety began to deepen and all sorts of thoughts filled your head.

You even got to the point where you started blaming yourself. It was finally clear what Joel was missing. It wasn't a secret.

And the truth was, part of you wanted to have sex with Joel. You wanted to get him into bed. Explore his body, feel him inside you, but… You were afraid that sex would awaken the old animal in him. Sometimes You looked at him from the side. You saw how gentle he was with Teddy and Ellie. You felt how gentle he was with you. But what if it all disappeared the moment he saw you naked and defenseless? When he feels he has power again. What if he decides you're not good enough and abandons you in the morning like he used to? You knew it was impossible. He wouldn't do it for his son's sake. And yet these thoughts haunted you. It was easier with Steve. He was a blank page, and the first time you had sex with him, he gave you full power. He knelt in front of you and begged for permission to touch you. Steve just liked it, being obedient. He didn't even cum without your consent. You didn't know if it was just his fetish and he was like that with all women. Or was he just doing it for you? But it worked. Steve was the only man after Joel you had sex with. Of course, you tried dating others a few times, but it ended the moment they touched you. It just seemed like Steve was the exception.

And now you had Joel again, and Joel was a man and he had needs. Your mind started going crazy. Maybe he didn't even like Emily, but she was willing to give him what you couldn't? Maybe he made some sort of deal with her… Something like: friends with benefits. You even started to have absurd thoughts that maybe you should let Joel do this. Before you knew it, you were so absorbed in your own misery that you were curled up on your bed, crying. Suddenly you felt the bed sag under the weight and someone's large, warm hand landed on your side.

"Y/N… Baby, what's wrong?"

Joel's voice was clearly concerned, close to panic. You turned around abruptly and simply blurted out:

"It's about sex?! Right?! You don't feel anything for her, but you can fuck her!"

Your voice cracked and Joel looked like someone had thrown him into ice water. He wanted to shout: 'What the hell?!' But he knew better that he must stay completely calm. He had no idea what had happened to you, but you were clearly in a bad emotional state and having a breakdown. He took a deep breath and replied:

"Baby, I have no idea who you're talking about. Who would I be having sex with?"

"With Emily!" You growled.

Joel moved away from you as if you had hit him. Of course, you were in such a state that you considered his reaction as confirmation of your theory.

"So I'm right!"

Joel couldn't stand it anymore and his scream was like thunder.

"NO!"

You started to tremble and he felt remorse, but at least he had a moment to speak to you.

"No, honey…" His voice was calm again. "You're absolutely wrong. I don't know what happened or what made you think that, but I only love you."

Joel tried to pull you into a hug, but you pulled away from him and sobbed.

"So what… that you love me… But… But you can't have sex with me, so you found someone else to do it… It doesn't take love for that…"

Joel couldn't stand your tears and despite your protests, he pulled you closer to him and wiped away the tears with his thumbs.

"Y/N we talked about it and my mind hasn't changed… I understand you and I respect your decision. And I want to be with you for the rest of my life, even if it means no sex. And I will have sex either with you or with nobody."

His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and you took a shaky breath. You were still in despair, but you wanted to believe his words.

"And Emily?"

Joel raised his eyebrows and looked surprised.

"What about her? I don't have any intimate relationship with her if that's what you're asking."

"But… Apparently, you went to a bar with her, and she… And she said something about going on a date…"

Joel chuckled softly and grunted.

"Okay. I won't ask who your spy was, but… Yes, it's true. I went to a bar with Emily and talked to her about a date… In fact, I even asked her out on a date, but not with me… with Claudia…"

"What?!"

These revelations were so shocking to you that you couldn't find the words.

"But… but… Claudia… Emily…"

Joel gave you a funny look.

"You don't mean to tell me you didn't know your best friend was a lesbian."

You rolled your eyes. Of course, you always knew that.

"I mean Emily… She has a baby and… She got along with you so well and…"

You felt completely lost. On one hand, a wave of relief washed over you that everything was just your imagination. On the other hand, you felt ashamed that you fell apart and let your emotions get the better of you.

But Joel, as usual, tried to be understanding. He smiled as he saw that the crisis was over. He kissed you on the cheek and replied:

"You know very well that a child doesn't always have to be the result of love… I don't know who Rose's father is and I don't want to push Emily… And yes, we get along, but I don't feel anything for her and when she told me that she likes Claudia, but she's very ashamed and afraid that nothing will come out of it, I wanted to help her."

Finally, all your anxiety left you. Joel simply had a good heart, even though he sometimes hid it behind grumpiness and whining.

"Sorry."

He shook his head and waved his hand.

"I'm glad we cleared it up. And tomorrow you'll be able to talk to Claudia about it, because today, after two weeks of my efforts, is their first date."

When you heard this, your eyes widened.

"Oops…"

"What?"

You immediately got out of bed and started dressing. Joel watched you in shock, wondering if he had done something wrong.

"I told Ellie to drop Teddy to Claudia."

Joel immediately jumped off the bed and grabbed your hand.

"Come on, before you ruin my entire elaborate plan!" He groaned miserably and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Aren't you getting into the role of Cupid too much?"

He made another grumpy noise and you smiled widely. This was your Joel. And only yours. .

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Part 10

Part 12

Ok, so I hope it's not that bad after not writing this story for so long. I know Emily turned out to be quite a twist plot. But I couldn't make Joel an asshole again.

Now an important announcement. So far this story has been devoid of any strong NSFW elements, apart from the beginning. So now I would like you to take the survey and decide. Should there be a description of the sex scene in the next chapter, or would you prefer it to be an addition to a chapter that you don't have to read?

[sluttychanel]

req ~ jj maybank and like a really girly good girl? like no smut but i wanna know how that would play out and like if the other pogues would think he has a chance

warnings: none

NOT PROOF READ ��︎

~

Most people in the outer banks are beyond surprised that JJ Maybank bagged the town sweetheart. You two were polar opposites. JJ being quite reckless and very much care free and you being cautious and soft, very put together.

Sometimes people would make comments. Mostly out of jealousy. I mean you yourself were still confused how you managed to bring yourself to speak to him. But you two were good for each other. You kept JJ in line and he helped you break out of your shell. Sometimes. Most nights went somewhat along the lines of…

“Baby let’s go dig up worms and go fishing.” He would suggest, your face would immediately scrunch up at the thought of touching a worm. “Ew. JJ, anything but that.”

picking at you’re freshly done acrylic nails that your daddy obviously payed for your eyes light up. “We could go shopping!” you say, excited smile playing at your lips making JJ groan. “You go shopping everyday.” He runs and hand through his hair. “Baby just think. Worms don’t even bite.” He’d say and shrug, making you roll your eyes. “Or we could go shopping.” you’d mumble before pouting to yourself

@tess-08

[iheartyvesss]

post-outbreak joel miller hcs

joel miller x younger!reader

this was requested by @marianita195

warnings? fluff for the first hcs! for nsfw: creampie, pussy slapping, squirting, dirty talk, dom!joel, reader’s mentioned to have hair long enough to pull, and pussy eating. i think that’s all lol 😭

pre-outbreak hcs here!

sfw

boyfriend!joel who isn’t “entirely sure how to do this relationship thang anymore.” joel had been with someone before, you knew this, but you didn’t mind. joel had told you of tess, how he was with her for a while but it wasn’t how he felt with you. he was stubborn to come about his feelings, yes, but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t work with. you were patient. that’s what ellie thinks makes you two work so well. he’s stubborn, and as he is stubborn you’re just as patient. you work with him. allow him to come to you in your own time.

boyfriend!joel who is losing his mind the first time you get hurt out on patrol. “you weren’t supposed to be there.” he’d murmured into your hair, sighing heavily when you’d only laughed in response. joel knows you can handle yourself and it’s a thing that he admires about you, but it doesn’t stop him from worrying about you and your health. joel sat by your bedside in jackson’s infirmary until you were just about cleared. he spent his time gripping your hand in his whenever he wasn’t sleeping or going to check on ellie.

boyfriend!joel who can’t help but love the way you treat his ellie. he hears the two of you stay up and talk into all hours of the morning. about what? he doesn’t really know besides the fact that you refuse to share what the conversations are about. “why don’t you ask our girl yourself?” you’d told him, smiling so sweetly he couldn’t bring himself to scowl at you for being a brat. you spend most of your time with ellie if not with him or maria. you take her to the library with you, as well as the gardening section you sometimes assist with. if ellie’s on patrol, you’re on patrol, and it warms his heart in a way he can’t quite pinpoint.

boyfriend!joel who loves you because you are his polar opposite and his mediator between him and his daughter. ellie is too rash while joel is too calculated, leaving you to be just right. you’re often the one to make final decisions in the household over the dumbest of things. your favorite memory is the first time ellie officially began to hang out with dina and jesse. joel was worried out of his mind that jesse would try something with ellie, and how desperately you wanted to tell him there was nothing to worry about.

boyfriend!joel who doesn’t know how to completely express his love for you and ultimately fumbles a bit in the early stages of your relationship. you were supposed to go on your second date with joel at his house, he’d said he was going to make dinner and ellie would remain in her little room in the back. you’d spent all day thinking of it, even losing track of books and stressing yourself out over where’d you last put them. maria found it adorable, if anything. she’d told you to go ahead and leave early if you were that excited. you had a few nice items of clothing from the many runs you and some of the others had done, and this little red number was just perfect. you’d practically skipped to joel’s house only for him to not answer when you knocked. you remember ellie coming through and opening the door, eyes widening before cursing joel out loud and turning to pull you into the house. “um, he hasn’t come back from the job he was workin’ yet so maybe we should wait?” you’re positive ellie could feel the embarrassment flowing off of you in waves but you agreed with the younger girl anyway.

boyfriend!joel who’d came in an hour later, flustered and visibly stressed. he found you and ellie curled on his couch watching freaky friday, and his chest had tightened because you looked so beautiful. “(name)- goddammit.” he murmured, running a hand down his face. “ellie,” he paused to look at her, using his chin to gesture for her to leave. “go. please.” he added the please quietly, stress clear on his face. it was probably the only reason she left without a word. “listen, (name), i’m sorr-” but you’d already stood with a soft smile. “no, it’s fine. i’ll go and we can try again another time, okay?” he’d believe you if you hadn’t swallowed thickly, pushing some hair from your face. joel could feel the guilt creeping up his chest and god did it make him sick. “no, darlin’ jus’ give me a minute and i can make us somethin’ to eat. i’m sorry. i like you, sugar i just…it’s been a day ‘m sorry.” you smile genuinely at that and find your feet moving their way towards him. “you like me, miller?” your eyes are gentle when he looks down at you, and joel realizes you make him feel safe. “we can make another day out for this, ‘m not going anywhere ‘cause of one mishap. i was embarrassed, yes, but you were caught up with patrol and such there’s nothing to do about that. we’re fine, joel. i promise.” you press a gentle kiss to his cheek, to the other, then to his lips. “we can try again, hm?”

nsfw headcanons ↓

boyfriend!joel who fucks you rough and nasty. his hips are always so rough against yours as his beard tickles the side of you neck while he kisses down it. his fingers dig into your hips and the most you can do is whimper out his name. your eyes roll to the back of your head and youre grappling at his back desperately for any type of leverage. anything to keep your body grounded from the euphoria taking it over. “thas’ it sweet thing. you’re taking me so well, hm?” you can only nod as a sob rips from your throat, legs tightening around your boyfriend’s hips to pull him deeper within you. joel grips your jaw with his free hand, forcing you to look him in his eyes as he fucks you deeper. he pushes you further into the bed, hips slamming against yours at a stuttering pace. “joel- can’t- can’t- feels weird.” you sob out, closing your eyes only for them to flutter open when you cum. you cum hard, fluids spraying against his lower abdomen and some getting on the sheets. joel’s eyes change a certain way when he witnesses you squirt for the first time, and the twitch of his cock tells you he’s far from done.

boyfriend!joel who has a thing for face fucking. joel loves to get you on your knees or have you lay over the side of the bed. he’ll purr sweetly at you, “you gonna take it, pretty girl?” and you eat it up everytime. you’re looking up at him with big eyes, pressing kisses to his thighs and mumbling about how good you can be. he likes to take things slow before he uses his throat by tracing his thumb along your lip before tapping his cock against your lips. “go ahead sweet thing. take what you want.” and you’re already spitting on his cock, stroking him a few times before taking him in your mouth. you move up and down his cock, getting used to the size despite how many times you’ve taken him down your throat. joel knows when you’ve gotten settled because you take him all the way down your throat and hold it, blinking up at him like the most innocent thing in the world. joel prefers to grab your hair, pulling back before fucking into your throat slow and deep. he holds you there despite your sputtering and choking, only pulling out when he feels it’s enough. when joel begins to fuck your throat you can never help but guide your hands down to your cunt. you’re moaning around his dick while tears fall from your eyes, pitiful and shaking hands desperately rubbing at your clit. your hips jut into your hands to no avail, because only joel can make you cum the way you want to. his grip always tightens unbearably when he’s about to cum, and his hips stop deep in your pretty little throat to cum down it. “thas’ my sweet girl. takin’ this dick like it was made for ya.”

boyfriend!joel who loves nothing more than to eat you out. he loves the feeling of your warmth against his mouth, the way your pussy is so responsive to his actions. he loves to run his tongue through your folds before suckling on your clit. he rubs your clit slow and steady, watching your reactions to his ministrations. you cover your eyes with your forearm in an attempt to hide the tears already trying to form in your pretty eyes. joel chuckles at your actions before pulling back and pressing a soft kiss to your clit. “remember you gotta be quiet, pretty.” you nod quickly, whimpering softly because you need him to move. when joel starts he never really knows how to stop. he goes in, fingers stretching you deliciously while his lips work on your clit. he latches on and sucks, pulling the most wanton of moans from your lips. your hips jut against his face with a soft sob and you’re desperately trying to hang on to your already building orgasm. joel doesn’t care though. he only hooks his fingers in your cunt and thrusts, pulling back to spit on your pussy as if you weren’t wet enough. he flattens his tongue against your pussy, peeking up at you with what could only be a smug look in his eyes. “you gonna cum on my face, sweets?” you nod, shaking your head harder when you began to thrust up against his tongue. “gonna-” joel shakes his head. “don’t say it, do it.” and you’re creaming on his face as a cry rips through your throat.

boyfriend!joel who likes to fuck you in one of the check-in stations while the two of you are out on patrol. he rubs his hands down your sides, pinning you against the table of he little shack. you’re looking up at him with a cheeky smile that makes him raise a brow at your attitude. “what? you gonna fuck me in a lil shack ‘cause you can’t hold it? ‘nd you say i’m the slut.” joel doesn’t take attitude and you’re fully aware. trust. so you’re not surprised when his previous loving strokes down your side go rigid. he scoffs airily, “turn around.” you bite down on your lip but comply anyway, undoing your belt to allow him to pull your pants down easier. joel laughs from behind you, murmuring something along the lines of “fuckin’ slut.” and he tugs your pants and panties down in one tug. he runs his middle finger through your folds, tuting softly when he feels the slick build on his finger. “fuckin’ slut was already thinkin’ about getting fucked over this table, huh?” you moan softly, nodding to answer his question. you wiggle your ass out to him, looking over your shoulder with a pout. “please, joel? need it s’bad.” he laughs again this time, though it’s deeper and full of some sort of intent. he doesn’t say anything following his laugh, prompting you to turn around to ask again. “shut it.” joel snaps, thrusting into you in one quick, delicious thrust. your question dies on your lips as you lean forward and moan loud and deep, your pussy clenching tightly around your boyfriend. your eyes water from the sudden intrusion and your toes attempt to curl in your shoes. “mhm, bet you shut the fuck up now.” he hisses in your ear, gripping the back of your head to pull you back up with him. joel’s thrusts are hard and unforgiving, a pace he sets only for when you’ve been a brat or simply asked for it. you sob out his name, begging for him to slow down and that your pussy can’t take it. “can’t take it? didn’t you jus’ try to beg for it? you beg for it then you fuckin’ take it. take what you get sweet girl. ain’t that right?” words are lost to your little brain and you can only muster up a nod to his questions and statements. the hand that isn’t holding you up rests on your clit, giving it a sharp slap before he’s rubbing it like you aren’t already twitching against him. “oh my- fuck!” joel’s thrust only further the deep knot forming in your tummy, making you squirm and twitch in his grip. he chuckles when he feels you clench, too fucking tight, and you’re screaming and sobbing as you cum on his dick. “atta fuckin’ girl.” he lets you go, bending you over to ride out his own orgasm. your fingernails dig into the wooden desk, leaving scratch marks you would have a hard time explaining to the next couple to come out here for inspection. “shit, this pussy gotta be made for me. my pretty slut with a pretty pussy, hm?” you nod against the desk, praying a splinter doesn’t find it’s way into your face. “good.” you’re crying out, cumming again as joel’s balls slap against your pussy one final time. he cums deep inside of you, holding your hips down to ensure his seed stays deep inside of your pretty cunt. he pulls out, watching the way his cum oozes out of your pussy. “a sight i ain’ ever getting tired of.” he hums, shoving his fingers back into you.

back to the website !

other tags: @whichwitchwanda

[emilylawsons]

Of Artists and Architects | Chapter 21

When Tommy said Maria had a full day planned, he wasn’t kidding.

After a hearty breakfast, the crew makes their way back outside for a couple rounds of beach volleyball. First two rounds: Tess, Sarah, and Maria up against Joel and Tommy, in which they all learn their lesson about Maria’s killer serve—she was apparently a collegiate champion who did her pre-law on an athletic scholarship. Luckily, no one is hurt except for the bruises to Joel and Tommy’s egos.

The third round finds Sarah bowing out to dig up shells with Kevin, who’s been running back and forth alongside the sand court, cheering on his mom. That turns into a couple versus couple game. Tommy’s lack of competence in the sport and Joel’s synchronicity with Tess evens the playing field, allowing them to secure a close but satisfying victory.

By midday, the group is piling up in Maria’s SUV to head into town. Maria had bought tickets for a Polar Express experience at the railroad museum. While this is mostly for Kevin, it doesn’t come without a promise of hard eggnog for the adults later in the evening. Joel can’t say he hates it, either; he used to read the book to Sarah every year when she was little.

Continue on AO3:

[ashecampos]

The ‘heart breaker’ and the ‘self centred’

Janis ‘Imi’ike x reader

Warnings : corse language, mention of past breakups. Enemies to lovers??maybe

(I’m so sorry if this is bad, I am currently high on pain and cold meds to try and get over this flu I have <3 also pls ignore how it switches from 1st to 3rd person so much)

You had heard the rumors about the infamous north shore high, everyone had. Little did you know, you would soon be apart of one of these rumors.

Moving schools was not on your list for the things you expected from the year. You had officially been expelled from your last school due to an incident that was not at all your fault. Now all you had to do was survive senior year at a new school where you only knew two people, one being your best friend, the other being a person you hated with your entire being. Janis ‘Imi’ike.

You and Janis go way back. Like as in third grade. You hated her and she hated you, end of story. Or was it?

It was now Sunday night, you and your best friend Tessa are on FaceTime and she is getting you up to speed with the north shore gossip.

“Soo Regina and the plastics aren’t bitches anymore, everyone is friends like in middle school and there isn’t much drama. Got it?” She says finishing her rant. A pen and paper in her hand with a map of all the drama you had missed on it.

“Mh everyone is queer, no drama, Janis still hates me, Regina isn’t a mega bitch, you and Aaron are fucking and me now starting fresh at your school totally isn’t going to cause any drama at all. Gotcha” I say while grabbing more paint from a shelf at the store. She nods silently then going on another rant about how Aaron and Shane are going to make a group chat with everyone im going to meet tomorrow in it, I nod while walking around. Until I bump into someone, their notepad nearly dropping to the floor but i managed to catch it somehow. Apologising profusely i look the person in the eye and my heart stops, blood running cold. Not even a foot away stands Janis ‘Imi’ike in all her glory. I stand there for a few seconds, the notepad held out for her to take but it seems that she is having the same reaction to this awfully awkward situation. She takes a second to scoff before grabbing the notepad and walking past, our shoulders brushing past each other “since when did you move back to Evanston?”she mutters before vanishing to the next isle. What the fuck.? Of all people you could’ve ran into it had to be her didn’t it? You thought “you did not just literally bump into she who shan’t be named” Tessa interrupts your thoughts to only add onto the embarrassment your feeling. “Shut the fuck up tess” i say as the girl on the other end of the call is in the middle of a laughing fit. I speed walk to the cash register and pay for my supplies before practically sprinting home. Anything to get away from Janis before I have to put up with her for the rest of the school year.

The night went quicker than I’d like to admit, I painted a little, lost track of time and ended up dozing off with my head on my desk. The next day came and I now stand in my closet, Tessa stood with me looking for the appropriate outfit that doesn’t scream ‘I got suspended from my last school and I don’t want to be at this school’. “Hm how about this” she picks up a pink shirt earning a disgusted look from me. She groans putting the T-shirt back and sitting on my bed and shrugging “just wear a band tee or something” she says. “Just wear a band tee or something” I mock while grabbing some baggy jeans from my closet, I scan my shirts before smirking and grabbing a button up shirt and a vest. “Gay” Tessa shouts at me, laughing and pointing at my doc martens “wear those” she says with a smirk.

The thing is me and Tessa are polar opposites, shes the most girly girl you will ever meet. Whereas I look like I just stepped out of a hot topic store. She was apart of the plastics before project ‘destroy queen bee’ was put into motion. She had stated many times how much she despised what Cady done to Regina. And even though I wasn’t apart of the school or had no reason to know the drama or what went down, oh she kept me updated. I even went to see Regina after she was hit by the bus. Which got me an one way ticket to Regina’s good side. You see being friends with Tessa can be a struggle seeming that she is the popular it girl, or the girl next door per say, however o wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Oi y/n/n Shane is making the group chat now, then we are going to meet up with everyone at the front of the school”

Moments after she said that my phone vibrates, I look at it while changing into my jeans.

*Shane Oman added you into ‘norths-whores hottest’ groupchat* I laugh a little at the name, so does Tessa as she starts typing away.

(NORTH-WHORES HOTTEST)

Tessi 🪽: “hey bitches!! ready to meet north shores newest hottie?”

(8am)

Reginald 💁‍♀️ : “as long as it doesn’t cause me to get hit with a bus this time”

Kay-dee ✨ : “I told you I was sorry for that reg”

Karen 💁🏽‍♀️ : “wait we have a new kid?”

Gretch 🪬: “yeah Tessa’s mysterious best friend is transferring because they got suspended from their last school”

Y/n/n 🌺: “should I be concerned how much you already know about me? Also hey guys”

Shane💪🏽: “don’t worry it’s her thing”

Reginald 💁‍♀️ : “well then congratulations and welcomes are in order, speaking of orders what coffees does everyone want im making a pitstop at Starbucks”

Gretch💁🏽‍♀️ : “ooo I’ll have a Strawberry Acai Refresher and Karen will have a hot coco, thanks babe”

Shane💪🏽 : “caramel latte thx Reggie”

Tessi🪽: “hot coco for me too babe”

“Oh and y/n/n said they will have a iced chai with oat milk and brown sugar syrup and they said thankyou”

*Reginald 💁‍♀️liked tessi’s🪽message*

You where now driving both you and Tessa to the school, your palms where beyond sweaty and you felt the lump in your throat grow worse the closer you got to the school. Tessa was sat in the passenger seat belting out show tunes, as you guys did every day in the car. It was settling your nerves a little as you clutched the steering wheel, keeping your eyes on the road.

You pull up to the school with Tessa’s help as she directs you to where the parking lot is then directs you where to park. You see Regina’s pink jeep and Shane’s black Tesla parked next to each other so you park next to Shane upon Tessa’s request. The two of you get out of the car, simultaneously grabbing your bags and linking arms, you softly nudge her and put your sunglasses on, sniggering slightly “hey, we’re gonna rule the school” you say quoting grease like you do every year “hm yeah and how’s that went the past ten years you’ve said that?” She nudges you back cocking one of her brows “okay rude, but in my defence we haven’t been in the same school the past four years” you point at her “well let’s make this one count” she says before waving at a group who you recognise to be the infamous plastics and shane.

“Soo you must be y/n, god Tessa wasn’t lying your banging” Shane comes over, his hand outstretched for you to take, you press you hand against his and hug him, eventually letting go of the hug, he hands you your drink while another set of arms wrap around your torso making you laugh “hey Karen, I missed you too” you laugh hugging her with one arm while you hold your cup in the other. She looks up adorable as ever and smiles widely, seconds later her face drops “OH MY GOD YOU GOT A MULLET” she screams, pulling away, almost knocking your drink out of your hand, you laugh even harder as she runs her fingers through your hair, admiring the shaven sides of your head. “You like?” You say, she nods before unhanding you, she turns to another girl who you assume to be Karen’s girlfriend, Gretchen, the girl is pretty, clad in an academic fitting outfit, a plaid beige skirt and a white turtleneck, she was one of the prettiest girls here, she smiles at you, giving you a simple nod. You walk over and hug her, you then turn to Regina who practically tackles you in a hug. “Who’d you fight to get expelled this time?” She whispers into your ear making you smirk “legally I can’t say but don’t worry they got what they deserved” you say as you hug her back. She slaps your shoulder and gives you a stern look “no more fighting or I will make your life a living hell” she smirks back at you.

After a brief catchup you head to the principals office to grab your paper work and schedule which was only a quick pitstop due to the fact that you had been there yesterday to hand all your paperwork over to secure your place at the school. Once you got your schedule you went straight to home room which was your first class of the day, looking down at your schedule, you walk straight into the back of someone. “Dude watch where your- oh you have got to be fucking with me now” the person says just as you open your mouth to apologise.

There in front of you stands an angered Janis ‘Imi’ike, her face drops seeing you for a second time this week. She rolls her eyes “are you following me or some shit?” She says, earning an eye roll from you “oh ku'uipo, don’t flatter yourself, my world doesn’t revolve around you” you say while walking around the girl and into your home room class, she stays stood in the doorway for another moment seeming to be frozen in place before she snaps out of whatever trance you had managed to put her in and she then walks inside the room, taking the last available seat, the one in front of you. Just before she sits herself down you manage to catch a glimpse of her face, red with a bit of a flustered expression. You grin a little acknowledging the fact you still had that affect on her after so many years.

Home room drags, the teacher is sweet though, she introduces you to everyone and proudly embarrasses you by telling the class you won the state art competition last fall which in turn earns a look from Janis who’s eyes have never left you since the teacher pulled you to the front of the class. As soon as the bell chimes your out of there having endured enough embarrassment for one person to handle. You make it your mission to get out before Janis can. I then go looking for my next class. Chemistry. You walk in expecting to be in a class full of randos but to your surprise and dismay you walk into the class to find the class full of your newfound friend group and Janis. Of course. The teacher strides in pointing at the whiteboard where a seating chart is etched into. You look for your name as the rest of your group goes and sits down, you smirk a little when you see that you are all on one table. Not bothering to look who else is on the table you go sit without hesitation. “So how was everyone’s first class?” You start, everyone groans seeming to already be put off only an hour into the week. “Oh I have some gossip for ya..oh hey Janis” Gretchen says which makes your face drop. You whip your head around praying it’s not the Janis you think it is, yet there she stands. All colour drains from your face, you look at Tessa for help but she is too busy trying not to die of laughter. Regina seems to have a similar reaction to yours with the girl being at the same table. And yet again much to your dismay the girl sits next to you, slamming her book down and looking at the front of the class toward the teacher. “Hello students, my name is Mr Jenkin and im your chemistry teacher. So seeming that we are in chemistry I like to have all the students on the same tables to have a lot of chemistry. Today’s class revolves around getting to know your groups. So one person from each table grab a deck and we shall play charades” the teacher says as he throws like seven decks of small card on his desk with a smile. Oh now this one is cute, he seems a little too nice for his own good, especially in this school.

Regina takes it upon herself to go grab the cards, taking the rubber band off of them and flicking it at Tessa who flips her off with a laugh. “I guess I’ll start then” she says reading the first card. She snickers a little before looking around the table and pointing at Aaron. “Boy?” He says straight away, Regina then shakes her head but stops and waves her hand around to say that he was right but she needs another word. She then points at her head earning a few weird looks from the table, it took me a few seconds to click on but I quickly realised what she was getting at “boy genius” I mutter quietly not being too sure on if I was right but she smiles and nods, holding her arm out to make me stand up as she hands me the cards. “Who’s boy genius?” Karen says with a big smile “an amazing band” both me and Janis say in sync earning a look from everyone in the group, I look at Janis before looking down at the card that says ‘love’ I roll my eyes and groan a little, I put my hand over my heart looking around the group to see if anyone will click on “heart?” Tessa says first, I shake my head and another idea pops into my head, I make a heart with my hands while looking around again. “Heartbreaker?” Janis mutters, earning looks from the group again, I sigh and shake my head before Tessa swoops in and says “love” which o nod to. She grins and gets up, allowing me to sit back down. A few more rounds go by and it is now Janis’ turn. She stands up brushing by me and picks the cards off of the table, she looks down for a few seconds before she points at herself making me snigger again. “Self centered?” I say proudly earning a slap from Tessa who scolds me silently. Janis snaps back “don’t make me tell your new little friends who you really are because believe me I will” she stares into my soul, my fists clenching under the table, I take a deep breath before shaking my head and grabbing my bag and leaving, hearing the group calling after me and Tessa saying “seriously Janis is there any need? She didn’t mean what happened” the teacher then calls after me before asking what everyone on the table what the hell happened. Tessa thankfully made and excuse as Janis also left the classroom.

I end up in the bathroom, slamming my fist against the wall of one of the stalls. Before wincing in pain instantly. I throw my bag and slide down the wall so I am sat down with my knees to my chest. The door to the bathroom then opens and in walks Janis. She sees me and walks over crouching down so she in face to face with me. She hesitates for a few seconds before placing her finger under my chin and making me look up at her. “Hey breathe for me yeah?” She says in a calm, knowing tone. My breath hitches a little before it picks itself up again, I struggle to breathe earning a concerned look. She tries talking to me again but it falls on death ears. I look around the bathroom frantically trying to find something to help myself, then out of the blue I feel a pair of lips on my own. Her lips. The lips that had been tormenting my dreams for the past five years. She pulls away after a few moments which felt like a lifetime. She looks at me before assuringly repeating what she said before “im sorry for what I said. I know it wasn’t your fault, im just still not over it..over us” she looks down before going to stand up, I quickly use my uninjured hand to pull her back into me, we share another kiss until the bathroom door swings open. Revealing the whole friend group.

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Part 16

“Four Hands Bloodied”

Joel Miller x f! o/c

gif by @riley-keoughs

A/N: the time has finally come for me to put this chapter out there. I took a break from Gwen and Joel after chapter 15 because it took a lot out of me to write it. This chapter actually might hurt more than the last and like I have said before, it doesn’t get any better from here. This entire chapter is all angst so if that isn’t your thing, please don’t read it. Thank you for being patient with me. ♡

~word count: 9.0k~

Summary: after Tess’s death, you, Joel, and Ellie make the trek to Bill and Franks.

Warnings: age gap, (o/c is in her early 30’s and Joel is in his 50’s) established relationship, angst, trauma, regret, guilt, anger, resentment, heartbreak, arguments, depictions of a panic attack, going into shock, two character deaths, (Bill and Frank’s suicide) PTSD, triggering themes that may be disturbing for some viewers. Implicit smut, no description as it’s all about Joel and Gwen’s feelings in the moment, brief mentions of alcohol, unprotected piv, emotions, cock warming but in the sense that they physically do not want to be apart from one another, sad sex is the easiest way to describe it. Some might find their coping mechanisms to be toxic, (+18) minors dni!

Songs for this chapter:

“Favorite Crime” by Olivia Rodrigo

“Long Long Time” by Linda Rondstadt

“take a moment to breathe” by normal the kid

“Eavesdrop” by The Civil Wars

“Same Old Same Old” by The Civil Wars

“White Lie” by the Civil Wars

“Flicker” by Niall Horan

“Wait” by M83

“On The Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter

“I Can’t Go On Without You” by KALEO

10 miles outside of the Boston QZ

The only visible light source was the oil lamp that sat between yours and Ellie’s sleeping bags. You had unwrapped the cloth from the teens arm before gently cleaning it with a rag doused in rubbing alcohol. Ellie didn’t even flinch as the chemical burned the fresh bite mark on her forearm. You were silent as you gently cleaned the wound. Your mind had completely gone numb. You had entirely shut down sans your aching heart. It ached for Tess. It ached for Bea. It ached for Ellie and it ached for Joel. That was the dangerous thing about loving someone. There would always be an inevitable pain that followed.

“Can you tell me about Bill and Frank?” Ellie had spoken through the thick silence. The soft glow from the oil lamp was casted on both yours and Ellie’s face.

“They’re our long time friends. Well, Joel and…Tess knew them longer than I have. Bill is the ultimate survivalist. He turned his mom’s house into an apocalypse bunker. He’s got security cameras, booby traps, and a giant steel fence that surrounds the town and his property. Bill and Frank are lovers, the unlikely kind. They’re pretty much the polar opposites of each other.” You spoke softly as you grabbed a fresh bandage from your backpack and gently wrapped Ellie’s arm.

“Bill sounds like a fucking badass. How did they end up meeting and falling in love?” Ellie asked, curiosity laced in her tone.

“Oh, he’s a badass alright. Huge grump as well but he reminds me of—” You paused, letting out a sigh as you gathered up your med supplies and tucked them back into your bag. “Frank fell into one of Bill’s many booby traps and the rest is history.”

Ellie could sense your discomfort as she quietly thanked you for tending to her arm. “Are you..okay? I know that’s a silly question to ask considering what happened, but..we can talk about it if you want?”

You dodged her question like it was the fucking plague. “Do you wanna see a picture of them? Well, all of us together actually. It was taken a couple summers ago.” You reached into your backpack once more, searching around till you found the Polaroid photo with the time stamp, June 21st, 2021

The edges of the photo were a bit worn but the colors stayed true. You could taste the warm summer breeze on your tongue. Joel’s laughter and Bill’s grumbling as Frank insisted on taking the photo. “So that pretty little thing is Tess’s girlfriend, Bea. She’s a spitfire. Then those two handsome chaps are Bill and Frank.” You pointed to the two older gentlemen. Frank was beaming in the photo while his lover looked as grumpy as ever.

The photo was taken midway through a game of monopoly. You were all huddled close around the table. The only person who wasn’t focused on the camera was your Joel. He was too busy looking at you.

Your fingers were trembling as you held the photo under the warm glow of the oil lamp. Your lower lip wobbled, but you refused to cry. You had shed more than enough tears that day and your body was spent.

“Gwen..” Ellie whispered, reaching out and gently placing her hand over your trembling one.

“Ellie, please. I can’t talk about this. I’m sorry.” You shakily whispered as you looked up at the teen with glassy eyes.

“Well, it’s a beautiful photo. You all look super happy in it. Well, except for Bill. He looks like one grumpy ass motherfucker. Must have been a fun day, huh?” Ellie spoke softly as she didn’t want to upset you anymore than you already were.

“Oh, it was a super fun day. The happiest that any of us ever were. It was like..this moment outside of reality, where the apocalypse didn’t exist, and we were all just living our lives.”

“That’s beautiful.”

The top of the oil lamp made a low hissing sound from a stray raindrop that had landed on the warm metal. Soft patter of raindrops began to fall between the gaps in the trees. One had landed on Ellie’s nose and she let out a soft sound of annoyance, scrunching her nose up from the intrusion before she threw the hood of her jacket over her head.

“Listen, Ellie. I know why you stood up for me earlier, but..don’t feel like you need to do that alright? Especially when Joel—”

Ellie shook her head as she stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets to keep them warm. “Gwen, I wasn’t just gonna sit there and let him talk to you like that. He was just fucking beating on you the whole time. That wasn’t okay. You know that right?”

You let out a sigh, rubbing your fingers against your temples before you glanced over your shoulder. At the far edge of the camp, you could barely make out Joel’s form laying on his sleeping bag. His back was facing you and he had his gun clutched tightly to his chest.

“I know it wasn’t okay what he did. Look, I just don’t want him thinking that just because he’s going through something, that he just gets to take it out on you now too. I know how to handle him, and I promise you, he won’t ever speak to you that way again. Not while I’m still breathing.”

Ellie nodded as she tucked herself into her sleeping bag and used the light from the oil lamp to read her shitty puns book titled, No Pun Intended: Volume Too

At the far end of the makeshift campsite, Joel was lying on his side. His back was facing you and Ellie far in the distance. He was clutching his rifle to his chest, finger hovering the trigger. It had been hours since Tess had died. Hours since he said the unforgivable to you. Hours since his entire fucking world was turned upside down. He felt lost. Hopeless. Broken. Out of ideas. Most importantly, he was angry at himself. Furious for allowing himself to treat you so cruelly. He knew that apologizing to you would leave him fruitless. His words would mean nothing to you because the damage was already inflicted. Part of him was surprised that you hadn’t left. He couldn’t blame you if you did end up leaving. If he put himself in your shoes, he would be doing the same thing. So what does a man such as himself do now? How does one move forward? How does one forgive themselves for inflicting cruelty on the ones they love the most?

Joel felt the tears prick the corner of his eyes as he quickly blinked them away. He didn’t deserve to cry. Not after what he had done. His heart clenched in on itself when he pictured the way your face fell. The tears streaming down your cheeks. The pain swirling behind your warm irises as you shakily held the barrel of your gun deep into the cavern of his chest.

Joel squeezed his eyes shut tight. Wishing that the images would dissipate from his broken mind. He couldn’t stand it. Knowing that you were yards away from him, hurting and he couldn’t do a goddamn thing to fix it.

Pathetic.

He listened to the whistling of the wind twisting through the trees above. The leaves fluttered. The crickets and forest life sang their songs, but Joel’s mind did not stop reeling. He forced himself to try and get some form of sleep. Even if it was just 20 minutes. Despite everything that happened, he would be damned if he wasn’t alert enough to keep you and Ellie safe through the night.

Just as his mind began to relax and the overall exhaustion had his eyes drooping, he heard a voice whispering through the trees. His ears began to ring and his mind felt fuzzy. The sounds of the forest were muffled by the ringing in his ears. Then, everything went silent. A brief moment of relief, and then he heard her voice again.

Sarah.

Dad. What happened? Dad..I'm sorry about Tess. She’s sorry things ended the way they did. Dad, I know you’re hurting. I know you’re angry, but you hurt Gwen so bad. Why did you do that?

Joel felt the guilt swirl deep in his gut. He was conscious enough to know that he really wasn’t hearing his dead daughter's voice. It was just his mind playing tricks on him. She wasn’t really speaking to him but god, did it fucking hurt to hear his baby girl disappointed in him.

“I’m so sorry baby girl. I know I shouldn’t have treated her that way. I was just so upset, and angry at myself for not bein’ able to protect Tess. I failed her and I know Gwen was only tryin’ to comfort me. I needed her and I pushed her away. I’m so sorry.”

You need her more than ever now. You can’t lose her. Promise me you won’t lose her Dad. You have to show her that you’re better than that. Please. I love you, and I know you’ll do the right thing.

“I promise you that I won’t lose her. I can’t lose her. I love you, and I miss you so fucking much baby girl. Daddy loves you so much.” Joel whispered through the darkness.

I love you.

Joel felt his body cave in on itself, silent sobs wrecked through him as he trembled along the sleeping bag. His grip around the rifle tightened as he tried to bring himself back down to earth. It was too much. Everything was too fucking much. He wished that you were there, holding him, singing to him, comforting him. He desperately yearned for your warm embrace, despite being aware that he didn’t deserve it. Sarah was right, Joel needed you more than ever now.

“Hey kiddo? Try and get some sleep, okay? I’m going to take the first watch. We’re gonna be on the road early tomorrow morning. I promise I'll keep you safe Ellie. No matter what.” You were slowly rising from the forest floor with your gun tucked safely in the holster around your hips.

The teenager looked up at you from her puns book as she slowly nodded. Her eyes were searching yours. You could tell she was looking for comfort, for reassurance that everything was going to be okay. “Thank you, Gwen.” She whispered.

You gave her a small reassuring nod before you stepped over your sleeping bag. You didn’t want to speak to Joel at all. You would have much rather avoided it at all costs. You promised this kid that you would keep her safe and in order to do that, you’d have to bury your hurt feelings, and ego for her sake.

Your approach was quiet, and you could already feel the tears pricking your eyes as you drew near his broad frame curled up on his sleeping bag. You swallowed the lump growing in your throat as you stood over him.

“Joel.”

You heard him take a shuddered inhale as he turned his head over his shoulder, looking up at you. Even in the darkness, you could see the glassy look in his deep pools of brown. Your heart tugged in your chest towards him, but you refused to give in.

“Gwen.” Was all he could muster out.

“I’m taking the first watch. Get some sleep and I'll wake you up when it’s your turn.” You averted making eye contact with him at all and looked off to the side.

“Are you sure?..I can take the first watch—” you cut him off before he could continue.

“No, Joel. It’s fine. Just get some sleep.” You were already turning on your heel to walk away when you felt his warm palm encage around your wrist, ceasing your movements.

“Gwen, I know that you’re upset, you have every right to be—”

“Fucking let go of my wrist right now Joel. Let go of me.” You hissed under your breath as you moved to tug your wrist from his grasp.

“Gwen, please. I can’t—” he pleaded with you.

“Can’t what? Can’t lose me? You can’t lose something that was never yours Joel.” The words rolled bitterly off your tongue. You couldn’t help it. He had hurt you so bad and all you could do was lash out.

“Don’t go fuckin’ sayin’ somethin’ like that when you know it ain’t true.” He harshly whispered, feeling his own bitterness begin to seep through his already broken heart.

“It’s not true? What makes it not true? If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let me go right fucking now.”

“It ain’t true because I know you’re angry, you’re upset, and you’re hurt, but you don’t actually feel that way..you don’t. I know you don’t.” His grip loosened just enough for you to pull your wrist free.

“Don’t you dare fucking tell me how I feel, Joel. Don’t you dare.” You were seething at this point, blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill over. You gave him one last harsh look before you were quickly retreating from him.

Joel let his hand drop to the forest floor, gripping the grass between his fingers. He tore up grass and dirt beneath his palms. His fingernails caked in dirt as he tore up more of the grassy earth. He watched you walk away from him and did nothing about it. You needed more time, that was all. He tried to convince himself that you’d forgive him eventually. That you still loved him. He knew he was being selfish for allowing his thoughts to focus on your feelings towards him. Had he really learned nothing?

Of course you still loved him. Of course you fucking did and the worst part? There was nothing you could do to stop it. Joel was far too deeply entangled in your soul for you to not love him. You were doing this for Ellie. You weren’t doing this for him, or yourself, you were doing this for the 14 year old girl that wasn’t even sure if she would live to see another day.

It was sometime in the middle of the night when you had gone to wake up Joel so he could take the second watch. You kicked his boot hard with your own, startling him awake but you didn’t care. As soon as he was sitting up with his rifle at the ready, you were already walking back to your sleeping bag and climbing into its confines.

Joel had let out a grumble sigh as he slowly rose from his sleeping bag. He reloaded his rifle effortlessly before he was quietly walking past yours and Ellie’s sleeping bags. He stopped briefly as he glanced down at your curled up form under the confines of the sleeping bag. He let his eyes gaze over to Ellie’s before he walked away. He was standing close enough to both of your sleeping bags to shield you if needed. Now that he was forced awake, his mind had the free rein to tear him up even more than he had already felt.

Ellie was the first to wake up while Joel was still on watch. She slowly sat up from the warm confines of her sleeping bag. She hadn’t noticed Joel at first as she was still in a sleepy state and her body was still waking up. She rubbed the eye crusties away with a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head. There was a slight chill in the fresh morning air and she was immediately reaching for her jacket to block out the chill. She zoned in on the sound of a twig snapping and her head snapped towards where the noise was emitting from. She let out a visible sigh of relief when she realized it was just Joel. “Morning.” She mumbled quietly as she stood up.

Joel let out a deep sigh, his jaw clenching as he looked over at the teenager. “Mornin.’” He mumbled back.

Ellie hesitantly walked towards him as she slipped her jacket on and shoved her hands in the worn pockets for extra warmth. She glanced towards your sleeping bag where you were still fast asleep. “Should we wake her up?”

“No.” He shook his head. “She’s been through enough. We’ll just let her sleep a little longer. It’s the least I can do for her. Are..you hungry?”

Ellie was tugging on a loose thread inside her jacket pocket absentmindedly. She looked over at Joel and gave him a slight nod. “Yeah, I am.”

Joel reached into his own jacket pocket and pulled out the last ration of his jerky and held it out to her. “Here. You can have what’s left of mine.” This was his own way of extending the figurative olive branch to her.

Ellie looked at Joel wearily. She wasn’t necessarily his biggest fan at the moment but would hating this man she barely knew, really do any good? You and Joel were the only sense of security she had now. She trusted you, but Joel? Not nearly as much. Nonetheless, she reached her hand out and grabbed the wrapped jerky. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Joel knew he was going to have to say more than that to get through to Ellie. He was going to have to try a lot harder than that.

“Listen..” He hesitated. “I know that yesterday was a lot. I know you were only tryin’ to help and stick up for Gwen, and i’m sorry for the way that I spoke to ya. You’re just a kid, and I shouldn’t have said the things I did Ellie.”

Ellie had torn off a small piece of jerky before quietly chewing it. She refused to make eye contact with him and reverted to staring off in the distance. “I don’t believe you.”

When Joel didn’t respond, Ellie took this opportunity to tell him how she really felt. “Look, I'm sorry that Tess died. I’m sorry that you weren’t able to protect her. I’m sure you wanted to throw the blame on me, right? You needed a truck battery and no one made you take me. You made the choice, but that doesn’t mean you get to blame me, or Gwen for the outcome of your choice. So don’t stand there and fucking sugar coat anything to me Joel.”

Joel was not expecting this kind of response from Ellie at all but he knew she was right. He couldn’t blame her or you for what happened to Tess. No one deserved to take the blame for her death. He knew he shouldn’t blame himself either, but he did. He was still angry at himself for not being able to do more.

“You’re right. I don’t get to blame you or Gwen for my choices. Neither of you are to blame for Tess’s death. Look, all I'm askin’ is that you try and look past all that. Gwen and I can keep you safe, but it ain’t gonna work if we’re not all on the same page. You get what I'm sayin’?”

Ellie snorted under her breath at his response. “Sure. Right. Well, I don’t really have much of a choice now do I? I’m unfortunately stuck with you. Good luck getting her back man. Pretty sure its gonna take a fuckin’ miracle for her to ever forgive you.”

“Will you help me?”

“Why the hell would I do that?” Ellie quipped back.

“Cause if you wanna stay alive, and make it to the fireflies, you’re gonna need both of us to get you there.”

Ellie thought for a moment on her follow up answer. She could have the upperhand on this situation if she really wanted to.

“Fine. My one condition is that I get a gun too.”

Joel scoffed at her request and immediately shook his head. “Absolutely fuckin’ not. I ain’t givin’ a 14 year old a gun.”

Ellie shrugged with a faux sigh of disappointment. “Well, guess we don’t have a deal.”

“I’ll teach you to shoot, but you ain’t gettin’ a gun, kid.”

“Deal.” Ellie said with a small grin on her face.

You had awoken from your dreamless slumber shortly after Joel and Ellie had come to their own agreement. You were already rolling up your sleeping bag, and packing your bag. You had said good morning to Ellie, but the only acknowledgment you gave to Joel’s existence was a slight nod of your head in his direction. At least soon you would be reunited with Frank, and one of his warm bear hugs. You couldn’t wait to see him, and well..Bill too of course.

The sun was high in the sky now as the three of you walked a route that was familiar to you and Joel. You and Ellie had taken a couple detours to rescue a few butterflies. Joel couldn’t help but watch you as you carefully guided a monarch butterfly onto your finger, and placed it on a nearby milkweed plant. He saw the softness in your face, and the lightness in your eyes for a brief moment before it was gone again.

The next critters you and Ellie found were two garden snakes. Neither one of you were fearful of the creatures as you gently picked the snake up. The creature wrapped itself around your wrist lightly as you lightly stroked the top of its small scaly head. It was a nice moment that you and the teenager were able to share together. You both set the snakes down in a grassy patch and watched them slither away.

Joel took no part in any of it, but you could feel his gaze burning into the side of your face constantly.

You were telling Ellie more stories of Bill and Frank as the hike continued. Joel had found himself stopped in his tracks when he saw a purple butterfly land along your shoulder. Its wings slowly opened as it was soaking in the warmth of the sunlight. You hadn’t noticed the delicate creature using your shoulder as a perch to sunbathe on. Joel remembered the first time you and him saw a purple butterfly land on his nose two summers ago at Bill and Franks. He immediately knew it was his daughter then, and his daughter now.

His eyes stayed locked on the delicate creature as he walked close behind you. The butterfly stayed on your shoulder for a few minutes longer before fluttering away. His eyes followed the creature till he could see it no more.

“How’d you get that scar on your head?” Ellie asked, tearing him from his thoughts suddenly.

When he didn’t immediately respond, Ellie kept pressing.

“What? Is it something lame? Like you fell down the stairs or something?” She couldn’t help but be a little curious.

“I didn’t fall down any stairs, kid.”

“Okay..so what happened then?”

“Someone shot at me and missed.” He grumbled.

“See, that’s so fuckin’ cool. You shoot back?” Ellie was looking up at him now.

“Yeah.”

“Wicked. You get him?”

“No. I missed, too. It happens more often than you think.” Joel’s eyes locked on yours momentarily as you glanced over your shoulder at the pair. His and your expressions were unreadable.

“‘Cause you suck at shooting or, like in general you mean?”

“In general.” His response was gruff and he hoped to god she didn’t ask him anything else about it.

As soon as he saw her opening her mouth again, he cut her off before she could ask him another question.

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions, you know that kid?”

“Yes, I do.” Ellie responded with a cheshire cat grin.

The three of you stopped at Cumberland Farms. It was the gas station that you, Joel, and Tess would stash ammo and supplies when you were short on gear.

Ellie immediately zoned in on an old arcade game that was covered in dust in debris. She had a childlike excitement in her eyes as she started pressing all the buttons. “No way! You ever play this one? I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There’s this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth, and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!” It was clear to you that the teenager was reliving a fond memory just based on her excitement. It was nice to see that the apocalypse hadn’t killed her spirit entirely.

“Ah. Oh, man. You forgot where you put your stuff.” Ellie spoke observantly as Joel was looking for the loose floorboard where the extra ammo was stashed.

“What? No. I’m just zeroin’ in on it is all. It’s been a couple years.” He grumbled.

“He doesn’t remember.” You whispered to the teenager before walking down the aisle where you knew the ammo was stashed. You had to kick some debris and other crap off of it before you got down on your knees and started to lift the floorboards. Joel had come alongside you, crouching besides you as he helped you lift the boards. Your hands brushed momentarily but you ignored him entirely as you pulled out a couple guns, packs of food, and bullet cartridges.

“Okay, well, i’m gonna take a look around, see if there’s anything good.” Ellie’s voice was distant as she was already walking towards the back of the store.

“Trust me, it’s all been picked over already.” Joel responded as he grabbed the carton of bullet cartridges from you to reload his gun.

“Maaaybe, Maybe not. Is there anything bad in here?” Ellie asked.

“Just you.” He gruffly spoke.

“Ah. Getting funnier.” You already picture Ellie’s little grin as you were reloading your own gun.

“Are you going to talk to me at all?” Joel was looking at you now. He was trying to gauge exactly where your head was at that moment and you knew it.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Joel.” You finished loading your gun before grabbing the bags of canned food and stuffed it into your backpack.

“Bullshit.”

“Can you just respect the fact that I don’t want to fucking talk to you? Stop trying to pressure me. If I wanted to talk to you then I would, but I don’t. So leave me alone.” You lowly whispered as you stood up.

“You can’t push me away forever. We have to talk eventually, Gwen.”

“I sure as hell can fucking try and push you away for as long as I see fit.” You zipped up your bag in a haste, swinging it over your shoulder.

Neither of you could hear Ellie at this point as you were both too caught up in your own emotions.

“Ellie?”

No response.

You and Joel both had your guns at the ready as you walked towards the back of the store.

“Ellie?” You and Joel called her name again. She was only gone for a few minutes. What the hell could have happened in that amount of time.

“Picked over, my ass.” The teen gleefully was holding up a box of tampons in her hand as you turned the corner.

“Don’t go fuckin’ scarin’ us like that.” Joel had lowered his gun at his side.

“Yeah, okay. Sorry.” She mumbled sheepishly.

After reloading on ammo, the three of you were back on the trail. You knew that you were nearing Bill and Franks based on the scenery. The plane wreck up along the farside of the hill, and the graves that lay ahead.

“Holy shit. You fly in one of those before Joel?” Ellie asked.

Joel glanced towards the wreckage he had seen about a dozen or so times now. “Yeah, a few times, sure. It ain’t all cracked up to what you think it is. Gettin’ shoved in a middle seat, next to either some stuffy guy, or an annoyin’ kid. Pay 12 bucks for a damn sandwich.”

“Dude, you got to go up in the sky!”

Joel sighed, adjusting the strap of his rifle on his shoulder. “Yeah, well, so did they.” He grimly responded.

“So, everything came crashing down in one day?” She was still looking towards the plane wreck. It was hard for her to look away. So many lives on that singular plane were lost. It was haunting to think about.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Okay..but how? I mean…no one was infected with the Cordyceps, everybody’s fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. Then, all at once? How the hell did it even start? Cause if you have to be bit to get infected, who bit the first person? Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey.”

Joel scoffed under his breath, shaking his head slightly in her direction. “It wasn’t a monkey. Didn’t you go to school? I’d think they would explain this shit to you.”

“FEDRA school. They didn’t teach us shit on how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.”

Joel took a deep breath, a shaky inhale. He really did not want to be having this conversation right now, but he couldn’t fault Ellie on her natural curiosity. She was just a kid after all.

“Well, no one really knows for sure, but, best guess I got..Cordyceps mutated. Thinkin’ some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient that everyone uses. Like flour, or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal…pancake mix. So, you eat enough of it, it’ll get you infected. So the tainted food hits all the store shelves around the same time, Thursday. People bought it, ate some Thursday night, or Friday morning. Day goes on..they started gettin’ sick. By the afternoon, evenin’, they got worse. Then they started bitin’. Friday night, September 26, 2003. By Monday, everything was gone.

Silence fell between Joel and Ellie, and you could tell that Joel’s mind was reeling now. You weren’t looking back at him, but you just had a feeling that he was picking at his cuticles to distract himself. You weren’t there to hold his hand.

Once you were nearing the gravesite, Joel had gently grabbed Ellie’s forearm to hold her back. “Hang on just a minute, kid. I don’t want you goin’ up there. We’re gonna cut through the woods.”

Ellie looked up at him before her gaze fell on you. “Wait, isn’t the road easier?”

“Yeah, it’s just…There’s stuff up there that you shouldn’t see.” Joel was honest. He remembered the first time you saw the gravesite. Your reaction was the same as Tess’s but it hurt him 10x more to see you sob for the innocent lives taken.

“Well, now I have to see. It can’t be that bad, right?”

“Ellie. I don’t want you too. I’m tryin’ to protect you. I’m serious.” Joel was stern with his tone. He really did not want her seeing those kinds of horrors.

“Can it hurt me?”

“No. That ain’t the point though. I don’t want you seein’ it.” He let out a defeated sigh when the teen had slipped her wrist from his grasp and was already walking ahead.

“You’re too honest, man. Should’ve said it was an axe murderer or something. Michael Meyers, Freddy Krueger, Jason. That would have scared me, maybe.” She had come to a sudden stop when she stumbled upon the gravesite. “Uh…whatever it was…think it’s gone.” She looked over her shoulder at you and Joel.

“About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers…went through the countryside, evacuated the small towns. Said you were goin’ to a QZ, and you were…if there was room. If there wasn’t…”

You were standing alongside him now, fingers twitching at your side. It was taking all the willpower you had left to not reach out and grab his hand.

“These people weren’t sick?”

“No, probably not.” Joel turned his head slightly to look at you. His eyes casted down to your hand, he watched your fingers twitch and he ever so slightly extended his hand towards you hesitantly.

“Why kill them? Why didn’t they just leave ‘em be?” Ellie looked between the two of you.

You finally met his gaze when he had outstretched his hand in your direction. Your hand did not move towards him. It stayed planted to your side.

“Dead people can’t be infected.” Joel somberly responded.

It was late afternoon when the three of you arrived at Bill and Frank's compound. Joel typed the code into the keypad and watched the metal fence creak open. As you neared their quaint home, you immediately sensed something was wrong. The flowers in the front of the white picket fence were wilted, dried up, dead. Frank never let his flowers wilt. He never would abandon them. He loved each and every one of his plants–oh god.

Joel was already reaching for your arm on instinct to hold you back. He knew whatever laid behind that door was not good. He wanted to protect you from it, shield you from the truth that laid within. He couldn’t because you were too quick, too determined as you slipped your wrist out of his grasp and ran up the steps. Your gun was drawn as you pushed open the door quietly.

“Bill?..”

“Frank?..”

“Oh god, please. No. No. No. Bill?! Frank?!” You observed the front entryway that you had passed through so many times. You saw the flies buzzing on the dining room table. There were two plates of rotting food. For how long? You were unsure, but based on the flies, it had to have been days, weeks even.

They could not be dead. Not your Frank. He was not dead. You desperately tried to convince yourself as you frantically called their names, over and over again.

“BILL?!

“FRANK?!” Your voice cracked as you neared their bedroom door, your hand was grasped around the handle but before you could push open the door, Joel was grabbing you, his arms were around your waist protectively and that's all you needed to finally break down and sob. They were dead. Your friends were fucking dead behind that door.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME! GET OFF OF ME JOEL!” You let out a wail as you turned around in his arms and frantically pushed and punched his chest. “GET OFF OF ME!”

Joel felt his heart twist painfully in his chest as you fought against him. He was holding himself together as best as he could as you cried for your dead friends. “Gwen. Gwen. Baby, please please please stop fighting me. Please! I’m so sorry–”

You broke free of his loose grip as you collapsed down to your knees. Your own arms wrapped around your shaking frame as you let out heavy, heart wrenching sobs. Your vision was blurred by salty tears as you completely caved in on yourself.

Joel was frozen on the spot, his expression stoic, and unreadable. He didn’t know what the fuck to do. What could he do? Bill and Frank were dead. They were dead and he couldn’t comfort you the way he so desperately wanted.

Ellie had watched the whole thing go down from the open doorway. She brought her hand up to her face when she watched you collapse to the floor in a heap of sobs. She pushed herself past Joel before sinking down to her own knees. Suddenly, her arms were around you, she was hugging you tightly, doing her best to try and comfort you.

You only sobbed harder. A bone chilling wail slipped past your cracked lips as you struggled to breathe. Your senses were on overdrive. You were panicking, and Joel recognized it immediately. He was gently grasping Ellie’s shoulders in his trembling palms. “Ellie, move. Please. She needs room to breathe.” He spoke gently to her, easing the teen up from the floor before he sank down to his knees in front of you.

You vaguely could feel his rough palms grasping your tear stained cheeks in a feather light hold. Your ears were ringing, lungs on fire. Joel’s voice sounded muffled and far away. Your head felt dizzy, you swore you were seeing stars behind your eyes as the color drained from your face completely. You had gone sheet white, like a ghost. Heart thrumming rapidly against your ribcage.

“Gwen? Hey..baby. Listen to me, alright? I need you to take some deep breaths for me okay? Deep breaths. Ready? I’ll do them with you.” His tone was soft, tender, and reassuring.

Joel took a deep lungful of air, his eyes never leaving yours as you followed with a deep shaky inhale. You did this a few more times together, and he watched in relief when the color slowly returned to your face.

As soon as you were in a conscious state, you were pushing him away again, far away as your body trembled from shock.

Ellie was close by. She was holding a piece of paper between her fingers. A letter from Bill.

“Read it, Please Ellie.” You whispered.

“Read it.” Joel gave her a small nod of encouragement as he rose to his feet.

August 29th, 2023

“To whomever…but probably Joel.. If you find this…please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn’t smell, but it would probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this, Joel, because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. Hehehehehehehehe. Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway…I never liked you, but still, it’s like we’re friends…almost. And I respect you. So, I'm gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep…Gwen safe, until such time as you and she decide you’ve had enough. At that point, I recommend pairing 40 Vicodins with a nice Brunello.”

Bill

Suicide.

Bill and Frank died together. In one another’s arms. A poetic death for two people who found love in the apocalypse.

Joel had grabbed the letter from her and quietly folded it up before slipping it into his pocket. He wanted to mourn the death of his friends but now was not the time. He had a job to do, like Bill had said. He had to protect you, and Ellie. That was his sole purpose, and he would be damned if he didn’t follow through with it. “Show me your arm.” He plainly requested.

Ellie looked confused momentarily before she slowly rolled up her sleeve. The bite mark on her arm hadn’t gotten worse.

“I’ve… got a brother out in Wyoming. He’s in some kind of trouble. That’s why I needed the truck battery so desperately. I gotta go out there and find him. He used to be a Firefly, and my guess is he’ll know where some of them are out there. If that's the case, maybe he can get you to whatever lab this is.”

“Okay.”

“We’re gonna gather up on supplies and I'm going to get the truck battery charged up. I need you to bring her upstairs and get her in the shower. Can you do that for me, Ellie? There should be a box of women’s clothing in the closet. I’ll worry about gettin’ the supplies we need.”

“Shouldn’t you be taking care of her?”

Joel grinded his teeth together, clenching his jaw tightly. “She doesn’t want me takin’ care of her right now. She trusts you.” He stated it like it was the obvious.

“Okay.”

“One more thing, there’s some rules you gotta follow. Rule one, don’t bring up Tess. Ever. Matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves. Rule two, you don’t tell anyone about…your condition. They see that bite mark, they won’t think it through. They’ll just shoot you. Rule three, you do what I say when I say it. We clear?”

“Yes.” Ellie responded.

“Repeat it.” He requested.

“What you say goes.”

Joel gave the teen a small nod before he was glancing down at your position on the floor. Your knees were pulled up to your chest, and your eyes were glazed over in a dead stare. Once Joel’s heavy boots could no longer be heard along the hardwood, Ellie slowly crouched down in front of you.

“Gwen?”

Your eyes flitted over to hers in acknowledgment.

“Joel wants me to get you in the shower. Do you need help getting up?”

You shook your head before slowly pulling yourself up to your feet. You led the way upstairs, pushing back the wonderful memories you shared in this home to the deep part of your brain.

Joel was grabbing you then, grasping your hips as he pulled you flush against his chest. His hand that wasn’t holding you firmly came up to your face, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “What was that about me bein’ pretty awful? I heard that correctly, didn’t I?” His tone was low, teasing.

You immediately brought your arms around his neck and threaded your fingers through his soft curls. “That was nothing, honey. I was just joking. You’re far from awful.”

Before he could steal a kiss, you were slipping out of his grasp like the little tease you were. You had a smirk spread across your lips as you leaned against the doorway. “C’mon, we’re not gonna spend all day up here okay? We’ll have all night for that Joel.” You shot him a wink before slipping past the door and headed back downstairs.

“Gwen?” Ellie was standing alongside you as you stopped in front of the guest room that you and Joel spent a lot of time together in.

“What? I’m…sorry. A lot of memories here. C’mon.” You walked further down the hall and entered a different room. Ellie could only watch as you quietly walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. Even after she heard the shower turn on, she sat against the closed door waiting for you.

As the water streamed down your body, washing away dirt, grime, filth, and blood from your body, more memories seeped through the cracks. Silent sobs slipped past your parted lips. You brought your hand up to your mouth to hide the sound of your cries.

He surprised you then, reaching for your hand before he helped you up from the couch gently.

“Dance with me?”

“I never thought you’d ask, cowboy.” You took his hand then as he helped you up. You were a little unsteady on your feet, while his free hand was gently splayed across your lower back as he pulled you into chest, holding you as close as he physically could. Your hearts were practically intertwined as he slowly started to sway with you. Your fingers were interlocked between his other hand while you brought your freehand to his shoulder, playing with the worn fabric of his flannel gently. He dipped his head down slightly, his forehead resting against yours. His warm brown eyes, locked on yours. You continued to slowly sway, taking in this private moment as he whispered the lyrics lowly between you. His voice was warm, inviting, deep and it settled within your bones. “I had the last waltz with you. Two lonely people together. I fell in love with you..the last waltz should last forever..”

He kissed you then. Closing the small gap between you finally. You didn’t even pull away as the record crackled as the song came to an impending end. You continued to kiss him, tasting the sweet wine on his tongue. His breath hitching, his fingers tightening along the exposed sliver of skin of your lower back. You breathed him in, letting his kiss settle deep within your soul.

You scrubbed your skin raw as the scalding water burned. You welcomed the pain without a fuss.

Ellie had stood up once she heard the water turn off and she moved away from the door when it opened. Your eyes were still bloodshot but at least you clean now.

“There should still be some hot water left. Take your time.” You walked past her, going to the closet to pull down the box of women, and men’s clothes that were stored there.

You set out fresh clothes for Ellie and grabbed a new flannel for Joel. You recognized it as Frank’s immediately. You clutched the fabric tightly to your chest, squeezing your eyes shut tightly.

Joel was busying himself in the garage. He was attaching the battery to Bill’s truck and he hoped to god the engine would run. He wiped the sweat beading along his forehead with the back of his hand. Letting out a heavy sigh as his mind drifted to the memories he shared here with his friends, and you.

“Joel, honey?..” you spoke softly through the warm breeze.

“Hmm?” He mumbled softly, blinking a few times as he tilted his head forward once more and looked at the wildflower crown between your fingers. “Oh, that’s beautiful sugar. You want me to put it on you?”

You turned your head slightly so you could look at him. “I was gonna ask if I could put it on you.”

“Oh? No baby, it’ll look beautiful on you. It’ll look silly on me.”

“No it won’t, Joel. You’ll look handsome, I promise.”

How could he really say no to you? Especially when you looked so carefree, so happy. It was just a little flower crown after all. Maybe he wouldn’t end up looking silly.

“Oh, alright. Go ahead. Lay it on me” he watched as you gently lowered the flower crown on top of his soft curls. Your smile was so soft, so beautiful.

“So, how do I look? Still ruggedly handsome?”

You nodded and brushed your fingers against his jaw gently. “No, you look beautiful Joel.”

He slammed the hood of the truck shut, cursing under his breath before he kicked at the tire with his worn boot.

You grabbed one of his hands then and brought it up to your lips, pressing a kiss to his palm before interlocking your fingers with his. “I know honey, I got you, you got me. It’s okay. Please, don’t make me beg you.”

“You got me, I got you.” He let out a puff of air against the back of your neck as he slipped his legs between yours. He let his free hand, that wasn’t grasped between your fingers, grab ahold of himself before he gently, and slowly slipped himself between your slick, warm folds.

“I love you.” you whispered quietly. You were unsure if your confession was due to all the wine you consumed. Or if it was your sober thoughts, coming out in drunk words, or a mix of both.

“I love you, always.” He whispered back, tightening his hold around your waist, smiling against your soft skin when he felt your lips brush against his knuckles.

“God fucking dammit. Fuck.” He let out a pained groan, running his fingers through his hair, gripping the tendrils tightly. It physically brought him pain knowing that you were suffering upstairs. Fuck this world. Fuck the cordyceps. Fuck it all.

Joel passed you on your way down the stairs, you wordlessly tossed the flannel in his direction. Your shoulders brushed slightly as you slipped past him. You sat outside in the familiar field of wildflowers.

It felt like hours had passed by the time Ellie had found you and told you it was time to head out. You said a silent goodbye to your friends. To Bill, Frank, and Tess as the teen helped you up from the grassy floor.

You chose to sit in the backseat of the pickup truck while Ellie took shot-gun. It was clearly Ellie’s first time in a car as she was curiously looking around. She wasn’t even sure what Joel meant by a seatbelt, till he was reaching over and buckling her in.

“It’s like a spaceship.” She spoke in wonderment.

“No, it’s like a piece of shit Chevy S10, but it’ll get us there…I think.” Joel responded, glancing back at you in the rearview mirror. He put the truck in reverse, saying a silent goodbye to Bill and Frank before driving out of the compound.

A tape in the truck started to play, “Long Long Time” by Linda Ronstadt.

You and Joel locked eyes for a fleeting moment before you both looked away.

Joel drove a few miles but as night was steadfast approaching, he found a quiet part in the forest to make camp for the night.

Ellie was fast asleep in her own sleeping bag, and you and Joel were sitting far away from one another.

Your mind had gone numb as you clutched a bottle of red wine in your grasp. A bottle of Brunello, just as Bill had suggested. You tipped the bottle to the stars shining above, thanking Bill and Frank for being in your life before you took a sip. The wine burned down your raw throat, but you appreciated the warmth that settled in your stomach.

You looked over your shoulder at Joel, who was sitting up on his sleeping bag. His back was facing you, Shoulders slumped inwards. You weren’t sure what exactly came over you, or why you suddenly were walking towards him, but it was too late to turn back.

You slowly sank down on the sleeping bag beside him. Shoulders brushing, knees touching. You were holding the bottle outstretched to him. Perhaps this was your own way of extending the olive branch. Or, you were simply seeking comfort in the only way you knew.

Joel wordlessly took the bottle from you, his fingers brushing yours. He tipped the rim of the bottle back, taking a long sip before he set it down between his knees.

“Joel.” You whispered with uncertainty laced in your tone.

“Gwen.” He croaked out.

“Please. Please make the pain go away. Please, Joel. I’m begging you.” You confessed, eyes glassy, lips trembling.

Joel inhaled a shaky breath, slowly turning his chin in your direction so he could meet your gaze. “How can I make the pain go away, my sweet girl.” he whispered.

You were reaching for the bottle between his knees, grasping it before you took another swig. You set the bottle on the side before you were grabbing his hands, interlocking your fingers together. “Please don’t make me say it.” You pleaded with him.

Joel instinctively scooted himself closer to you. You could feel his warm breath fanning your cheeks. You could feel his heartbeat thrumming in his chest. “I’ll make the pain go away. Okay baby? I’ll make it go away.” He promised you.

Your eyes fluttered shut when you felt his nose lightly brush against yours. You could taste the wine on his breath. He had given your hands a reassuring squeeze as he closed the small gap between you. This was a kiss you had never shared with him. Equally desperate, equally broken. Two people, two survivors, falling back on the one thing they knew could heal them. Joel kissed you slow, deep, tenderly. His hands had left yours only to gently cup your face in his warm palms. When he felt your tears freely fall, he gently brushed them away. “Shh. You’re okay. You’re okay Gwen. I got you. You’re safe. I’m here.” He whispered against your lips, tasting your salty tears and residue of wine on his tongue.

He slowly coaxed you into his lap, pulling the sleeping bag around both of your bodies. Concealing yourselves from the forest. His lips never left yours as he gently pushed your pants past your hips along with your panties. His own jeans were pushed past his thighs. You pushed his flannel down his arms before pulling his shirt over his head. You were both desperate for skin to skin contact. Your bodies craved to be as close as possible. Your own shirt was soon discarded as your chests were pressed flush together.

Joel’s arms were tightly wound around your body, your arms mirrored his own. You were hugging each other tightly, nails scraping against scarred skin as he slowly jutted his hips into yours. Harsh inhale, shaky exhale, breaths mingling. He fucked into you slow, deep. He pulled, you pushed. Tears streamed down your faces as you made broken love to each other. Salt mixed with saliva. Whimpers, broken moans were devoured endlessly. “I got you, you got me.” He whispered. “You got me, I got you.” You whispered back, completing your oath to one another.

You clenched, he twitched. Your bodies trembled as you came undone around each other. He stilled inside of you, holding you close as he pressed feather light kisses all over your face before he was resting his sweaty forehead against yours. Neither of you moved as he went soft inside of you. The idea of breaking the connection between your two entwined bodies was not an option. Neither of you could stomach it.

“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I need you by my side. I can’t do this on my own. I’m incapable without you. I understand if you want to leave, and I won’t try and stop you if you do. I know I hurt you. I know I don’t deserve you, but please stay.” Joel finally spoke through the darkness. His eyes were searching yours. This was his final plea to you.

There was so much you wanted to say. It was on the tip of your tongue, teetering over the edge as your fingers threaded themselves into his sweat soaked hair.

“I’m not going anywhere, cowboy.”

Please don’t hurt me again.

Tag list: @chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @yuly@soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @itskenziebb @lovers-liability @korynnekorynne @ems-alexandra @kirsteng42 @casssiopeia @novemberrain-writes @goodwithcheese @loquaciousferret @sarahhxx03 @777-wonders @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @luvrking @finnsbubblegum @atinylittlepain @last-girl @pedrostories @yazsos @pedgeitopascal @wildemaven

[vexicwrites]

The Strange Case of Dr. Wells & Mr. Thawne

Summary: the start of what may be a series of AUs examining the concept of Eobard framing Harrison rather than killing him

Warnings: none

Harrison didn't know much about the man who had been following him. He'd assumed, initially, that it was only a coincidence that he saw him so often - odd, but not malicious nor intentional. Starling City was, after all, only so big and if they both lived in the same area they were bound to see each other every once in a while. Then he'd gotten some notoriety and he began to wonder if the blond man was a stalker, an obsessed fan - though, that didn't seem right either. He'd been around before the fame and accolades and...he never did anything, Harrison had never even caught him glancing his direction. It really would have seemed entirely coincidental if it weren't for the fact that for the past 15 years every one of his worst days had coincided with a glimpse of the man, even after he'd moved to Central City, too upset by his wife's death to stay. Hell, he was pretty sure he remembered seeing him the day of the car accident that had killed Tess.

Harrison wasn't superstitious but he also wasn't blind, that damn man was a constant silent presence like a foreboding omen. He'd even been in attendance the night the particle accelerator had been turned on - the night everything had gone so horribly, horribly wrong. But, not every visit coincided with a tragedy, at least not that he could see. The man had also been present in the hospital when Harrison had seen Barry Allen code and spoken to Detective Joe West. He'd only seen a glimpse of the blond man but Harrison, perhaps foolishly, had decided that he wasn't going to let this harbringer of misfortune cause anyone else to suffer and convinced the detective to let Barry be taken to S.T.A.R. Labs where he and whatever team he had left could help.

Maybe he should have said something to someone, perhaps he could have prevented any future trouble, but at the time he truly hadn't thought it anything worth bothering Barry or the CCPD about. He had no reasons to bring it up, the man had never actually done anything that he could see, his suspicions were completely irrational. Until they weren't.

The last thing Harrison had expected upon arriving downstairs was Cisco standing in front of what appeared to be The Reverse Flash in the containment field he'd built months ago but in moments, the man in yellow had vanished - a hologram. Cisco looked hurt and betrayed when he turned to face Harrison. Harrison didn't have to be a genius to put the pieces together.

"Cisco-" He started but Cisco cut him off.

"You're him," Cisco said, quiet anger coloring his voice. "You're The Reverse Flash."

Harrison sighed, trying to keep his own emotions under control. "It certainly looks-"

"You killed Barry's mom, you killed all those people! Why?" Cisco asked, voice raising slightly.

"Cisco, I know that you're upset, but I need you to calm down-"

Harrison wheeled forward and Cisco automatically scrambled back, onto the containment unit, afraid. Harrison hadn't expected that, he'd never expected to see such a look on any one of his team's faces.

"No," Cisco said, slamming the on button for the unit. "No. This ends now. I'm not playing your game anymore, you're not using me or Caitlin or Barry ever again!"

Harrison paused, looking over the scared younger man critically, surveying the situation.

"You altered the polarity of the containment field. Smart man. That would probably stop me if I was The Reverse Flash but I am not. You have the wrong man." Harrison said, beginning to lose his patience.

"Stop lying! We know, we all know!"

Harrison wheeled forward again and heard the faint click of the safety on a gun being turned off to his left. Eddie or Joe, maybe both, were present - good information to have. Barry was probably near as well. Harrison wondered how long they'd been planning this setup.

"I promise you that I am not lying to you and I am willing to do whatever you need for you to trust me again - you and Caitlin and Barry. All of you." Harrison said calmly before reversing his wheelchair and wheeling towards the elevator, adding; "by the way, you can come out now."

"You can't just leave!"

Barry. Harrison paused in front of the doors with a resigned sigh though he knew he didn't have to, Barry could easily catch up to him. He couldn't imagine how much time and resources had been wasted on trying to trap him - he was frustrated for himself and on Barry's behalf.

"I'm not going anywhere but back to my lab, Mr. Allen." Harrison said, turning his chair to face the young speedster. "I have work to do but if you are so inclined you are welcome to accompany me. In fact, I'd prefer it if you did, I'd like to see what led you all to the conclusion that I am The Reverse Flash."

He could see the indecision on Barry's face and he felt a wave of sympathy wash over him. It had to be difficult, to be so sure that someone you trusted with your very life was the one trying to destroy it.

"I'm not asking you to trust me again," Harrison said quietly. "I'm asking you to give me the chance to earn that trust back. To prove to you that I am not the man in yellow."

He waited, hoping the young man would give him a chance. He saw the conflict in Barry's hazel eyes, the way his jaw set in silent anger and frustration, but eventually he nodded.

"Fine." He said, gesturing for Harrison to enter the elevator.

Harrison did so, feeling somewhat relieved. He'd have to start from square one with the team but at least he still had a chance.

[rowinablx]

Name: Andre Reyes

Age: Late Thirties-Early Forties

Fancast: Adam Ramzi

Personality: Andre is just as sadistic as his brother, shooting Brian O'Conner and digging his finger into his wound to cause as much pain as possible. He also expresses interest in kidnapping Brian and killing Dom in front of him. Despite his mental instability, Andre shows care for children as he considers them as being innocent.

Physical Appearance: Andre is extremely attractive and well built. He keeps a well managed appearance.

Relationships:

Dante Reyes: Older brother

Hernan Reyes: Father (deceased)

Aimes: Ally

Dominic Toretto: Enemy

Brian O'Conner: Enemy, potential one-sided crush, attempted victim

Brian Toretto-O'Conner: Enemy

Jakob Toretto: Enemy

Letty Ortiz: Enemy

Mia Toretto: Enemy

Beck O'Conner: Enemy

Natalie Hale: Enemy

Roman Pearce: Enemy

Tej Parker: Enemy

Megan Ramsey: Enemy

Han Lue: Enemy

Cipher: Enemy

Deckard Shaw: Enemy

Tess: Enemy

Eric: Enemy

Trivia:

He is incredibly dangerous, efficient with nearly every gun he gets his hands on

He may have undiagnosed bi polar disorder.

While not specified, he may be gay or bisexual, he shows visible attraction to Aimes, blows a kiss to Eric when he injuries him and openly calls Brian attractive and even mentions wanting to kidnap him "And make him mine". Despite this, he still shot Brian when Dante told him to.

He hates Dante's singing

He thought his father deserved a worse death.

Despite their tumultuous relationship, Dante cares for Andre. When Dom slammed Andre's head onto a concrete wall knocking him unconscious, Dante vowed revenge even though Andre was okay

He's a kleptomaniac, stealing anything he can get his hands on

[drawingpad-studios]

Finally adding more stuff to my "Space Time Continuum" au(the au I made with the time and space themed Base Cleph and Tretone)

Here's some characters that are inspired by the different holes you can find in space

Had Scriptliss and Tess shared the same concept, because they changed forms/appearances (1x for Tess and a true form for Scriptliss) and with white holes and black holes being the same except polar opposites, it just makes sense to me.

Also I Wiscara is a wormhole because most "teleporting" in most space media involves wormholes.

I'm honestly thinking about making a blog specifically for this, because why not.

[post-modern-prometheus]

noah fence but isabelle/michael/max is my favorite dynamic in the entire show like they make me wanna pull out my hair and scream bc you have a) isabelle and michael who literally heard that they were married in their past life and did not think twice when saying fuck that. fuck tess and max's drama. we are siblings. who bicker like siblings who fight for each other like siblings. b) michael and max who are like polar opposites but max is always the one michael wants to see, wants to hang with. who get on each other's nerves and fight but would fight and die for each other. kill for each other! the first person michael ever killed was the man who tortured max. a slay. c) max and isabelle. big sister constantly protecting her baby bro who is convinced he's the one protecting her. sticking together from day one in that desert and not letting go. when she's pissed at him bc he's being an asshole but she finds him sobbing on the ground so she drops it and she takes him to the park and michael shows up bc d) all three of them together, finding each other, protecting their little family, like i love when they get down to alien business and it's just the three of them and you know it's gonna get serious. those moments when you know isabelle and max are going through it bc michael is the one talking sense into them and you just think about how this kid grew up without real parents, but never without a family. how even through whatever tf the evans are doing, isabelle and max still have him. throughout the course of the show just like... letting other ppl into their family, loving and losing and comforting each other. like bro that is a whole ass family.

[anthyssa]

polar tess for bullet echo art challenge

(my makeup is kinda ruined because i had something stuck under my contacts)